tremainetribunal

[tremainetribunal]

Talk about a fucking shit show.

What happens when Neverland’s Halloween Special drink features a truth potion?  Aside from LeFou admitting that he waxes Gaston’s ass for him, can we just say drama, drama, drama?

It started out just like any Halloween party.  Girls dressed as skanks, guys dressed as sex on a stick (shout out to Bat-Pan, who definitely stole the show with that ensemble... we’ll let you grapplehook your way into our window any day), and everybody got fucked up.  Once the specials went out though, shit hit the fan.

Before we get into it though, someone asked us to rank the sexiest costumes of the night.  Our top five:

1. Nasty as Xena, Warrior Princess

1. Drizzy as a fembot from Austin Powers

2. Bat-Pan

3. HercuPLEASE never wear a shirt again

4. Shang in Spandex

5. Jack Sparrow, though we could have done without the feathers.

Okay, so here we go.

The fresh meat came out in full force, including Ariel and Ursula, who must have heard Pan and Tink were doing the Batman/Catwoman thing and tried to piggyback on that theme.  Please ladies, you don’t need to look that desperate to get Pan’s attention, just remind him that you have genitals that he can play with and he’s there.

We have to admit, Rapunzel and Mulan as Danny and Skanky Sandy from Grease was kind of hot, and we’d have probably put it on our list if we hadn’t rocked those costumes two years ago.  Please ladies, it’s called originality, look into it.  Punzy’s ho phase is a go though, it seems, because not only did we see her getting up close and personal with Ursula (who we should add, was NOT there with Gaston, so he probably ditched her for not putting out at homecoming... or for putting out and putting him off, which says a lot), but we definitely overheard her telling her girls that she needed some new dick.

Does that mean Rider’s on the market again?  It would definitely explain why he was in the back room with... we think it might have been Belle?  Who knows.

Anyways, back to the ladies.  This was the first time we haven’t seen Tink all over Pan in public and frankly, we were shocked.  Usually she’s on him like Winnie on Honey, but she left him to spend his night flirting with Megara while she backed it up on Hercuhunk.  Maybe it’s a swingers thing?  We can’t keep track of how many guys Meg is juggling nowadays.  We still think they’re all beards, but apparently Damian Hades is on that list too, which is probably the reason he didn’t make our hot costume list this year.  Desperate women don’t make good accessories, Hades. 

That’s also why Maui didn’t make the list, even though he was basically wearing a loincloth the entire night.  We saw him with Sluterella, getting super deep before they left together and that’s just... a waste of a man.  Maybe he’s going to teach her how to shapeshift into a tighter vag... may the odds be ever in his favor.

The fun started a little later on when, go figure, Pan and Hook started fighting again.  Thanks to whoever spiked the punch, we got to find out what they really thought of their buddy Smee and how easy it is to make him almost cry in public (take notes, Mulan, you guys are getting boring), and learned that apparently not even Tink can keep those boys from getting in each other’s personal space.  Bet she’s regretting ditching her almost-makeout with Herc to be ignored by the two dicks she’s infatuated with.  This was the first time we’ve witnessed the two hotheads focused only on themselves and it was exhilarating.  There were murmurs of how much they missed each other, loving each other, and we’re pretty sure if they weren’t being overly aggressive to prove that they weren’t little bitches, they would have started making out.

Smee proved to be friend of the year for taking a punch for Hook, but as things quieted down after, we got to hear what was actually going on.  Hook fighting with Tink - probably because he realized she was just using him -, Pan sounding remorseful... like he actually does have a heart, and everybody gossiping about the fact that Hook and Jack have apparently been banging it out?  Can we watch?

We’d almost feel bad for Hook, rejected by the apparent woman of his dreams yet again, but we saw him sneaking off with Rapunzel and are willing to put money on him being the first man since Rider who got up in there.  Other notable exits?  Meg and Hades slinking off together to un-tape her nipples & Ariel and Shang - a pairing that still makes us wonder if he’s had one too many head injuries.

For those who were wondering, we ended up at Alpha house but we’re not saying whose room we were in, we’ll let you lot use your imaginations.

#drizzy #nasty #ariel #shang #megara #hades #flynn #rapunzel #hook #pan #tink #smee #gaston #winnie #lefou #ursula #hercules #jack #mulan #maui #sluterella

[tremainetribunal]

does james know that tink only uses him to make peter jealous?

Probs.

I honestly think it gets him off, just like it probably gets Peter off to think of Tink in bed with James.  They need to just double team her and get it over with.

Xoxo,

Nasty

#nasty #hook #pan #tink #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

Rapunzel doesn't love herself - WHY is she back with Flynn?!

Bitch is #dicknotized.

Saw her offering her services to Hades and Maui at the pub the other night though, so maybe they really are on a break this time.

Xoxo,

Nasty

#nasty #rapunzel #flynn #hades #maui #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

Do yall still think Meg is a loser virgin? How did someone like her land Cal and when is it my turn with him?

She gives off the vibes, but we hear she went back to Alpha with Cal so if that’s true, she’s definitely not a virgin anymore.

Xoxo,

Nasty

#nasty #megara #hans #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

Is it just me or does Shang seem bored with Ariel?

Everybody’s bored with Ariel.

Xoxo,

Nasty

#nasty #ariel #shang #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

Where do we even start?

Seriously, we’ve just managed to get rid of our hangovers and can barely remember everything that went down at homecoming this year.  

Before we start though, can we just bring attention to Drizzy’s date for the evening? Hercules?  He’s new, and maybe he didn’t know he was there with her (he’s a bit daft), but they looked kind of amazing together.  Keep your eyes out for him ladies.  We saw him trying to chat up Megara at one point, but she was too busy trying to get Nasty’s future husband Cal’s attention to actually notice.

Speaking of Megara though, we’re pretty  sure she must have convinced Hades to whip up an attraction potion or something for here because she seemed to garner the attention of not just Hercules and Hans, but Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome Hades himself.  What’s our dear sister going to think when she finds out her “secret” lover is not so secretly into someone else?

We hope she cries.

Honestly, we were both a bit surprised and disappointed by the lack of tears at this year’s ball.  Ariel may have whimpered a bit when she realized that Cindy was stealing her date, but that’s what happens when you lead on more than one guy at a time and expect them to still be interested when you’re not going to put out.

Maybe we should go back and put that last statement in bold so some of our other readers will know they have to pay attention.  We’re talking to you, Tinkerbell.  How long do you think it’s going to take Hook to realize you’re only interested in him when Peter stops paying attention to you?  Did you have to pay him to kiss you during your slow dance just to make sure Pan wouldn’t try to fuck his Princess Ariel?

Pathetic.

Too bad Pan was more interested in Hook, anybody could have told you that was going to happen.  Sadly for Pan, Hook only seems to care about Smee.  We’re proud of his win, of course, though we’re sure he only won because Gaston was spending too much time in our dorm room to actually campaign properly.

We have to give some credit though.  Even if we hate her on principle, Ursula managed to surprise us with that scandalous dress that undoubtedly ended up on Gaston’s floor after the Alpha party.  It was almost as cute as ours were, so kudos for that we guess.

The dance’s after party was just as full of drama as the actual dance.   Apparently Flynnpunzel is polyamorous now, if that whole dance routine they did with Jack Sparrow is any indication.  Our bet is that Punz just needed her ex to hold her hand while she actually tried to step out of her safety net, but who knows anymore.  We have it on good authority that our least favorite couple but not a couple got down and dirty by the wishing well a few days before the dance (Source: Prince Phillip’s Horse), and despite Sparrow’s efforts, they left alone, so maybe they should reevaluate their relationship status before they waste all of our time.

(EDIT: Sources say Rider and Sluterella were getting down in the back of the library... waiting on Belle to confirm, stay tuned.)

Other people who should reevaluate things?  Ariel.  Not only is she sending us a constant amount of “anonymous” mail about how many guys are fighting for her, but she’s badmouthing all the girls their men have deemed better than her, too.  One look at Shang’s face throughout the whole evening (it’s that thing above his abs) could have told anybody how bored he was, and even her favorite lapdog Aladdin took a monkey to the dance rather than try to steal her from his friend.  Maybe there is such a thing as bro code after all?

How else would you explain the fact that Smee more than likely got his cherry popped?  All his Alpha Bros. stayed away from his date so he could finally get his chance to get it in.  We saw little Miss Mulan “I suddenly have awesome tits” Fa going up to his room and not coming back down, so survey says they definitely banged.  

Other surprises?  Aladdin and Maleficent leaving together on his carpet.   We’re not confirming this, but we’re pretty sure that carpet was waiting on her balcony for quite a bit of time.  Maybe her upstairs neighbor Pan can confirm if he saw it on his way back.  Tink disappeared on him, and while we sincerely doubt Pan went home alone, we’re pretty sure he likes showing off how swanky his building is when he brings new girls home with him, so there’s a chance he might have noticed.

We give the night a 6/10 as far as good times go.  Sluterella fixing the results of the vote so she’d win again is getting fucking old, and with the amount of drama that happens at these things and the fact that the alcohol is FREE, there should be far more fighting than there actually is.

Step your game up, Dis U.

#drizzy #nasty #sluterella #tink #pan #aladdin #maleficent #flynn #rapunzel #smee #mulan #hans #megara #hades #hook #shang #ursula #ariel #jack #gaston #hercules

[tremainetribunal]

#drizzy outfit #homecoming #drizzy

[tremainetribunal]

Good luck trying to find someone better dressed than moi!

#nasty

[tremainetribunal]

Gossip princesses: who do you predict will go to the dance together

I mean, this goes against everything we stand for because all the boys should be going with us but here at Tremaine Tribunal, we give the people what they want. Even stupid people.

Start with the people already going together:

Shang; Ariel

Gaston; Ursula

Peter; Tink

Flynn: Rapunzel

Now for the fun part:

Smee;Mulan

Aladdin; Maleficant

Meg; Jack

Hook; Sluterella

Maui- Way too sexy and hot for any of this

And for us:

Hades;Drizzy

Cal; Nasty

#answered #drizzy #nasty #cindy #ariel #usrula #mulan #aladdin #rapunzel #cal #maui #hades #meg #pan #tink #gaston #flynn #maleficant #jack #hook #smee #Anonymous #hans

[tremainetribunal]

Okay folks, we’re going to do this one quick and dirty, just like Hades did our sister last night after they left the pub together.  Sorry Sluterella, if you thought you could be sneaky, it’s not happening.  The whole student- TA trope only works if you’re not so blatantly obvious about it.  Everyone knows that!

Last night Timon & Pumbaa’s saw more action than Gaston’s waterbed. Our favorite Alpha decided to do his community service early this year and asked Ursula to the homecoming.  We’re actually kind of happy for her, becoming a notch in his bedpost is going to get her a lot further than crawling up Ariel’s asshole.  Speaking of assholes and Ariel, instead of being happy for her BFFL she complained about being dateless until Shang showed up and offered her a private strip show, or something along those lines, to get her to accept his invitation to the dance.  Not that we don’t think he’s got it all, but we definitely placed a bet with Megara that Aladdin would get there first.  Sorry Al, have fun playing with your monkey instead.

Also in the desperate category?  Tinkersmell practically forcing Pan to ask her to the dance.  They go together every year, but maybe it’s only because she’s pulling off some hypnotism bullshit with that pixie dust.  Pan, as anyone who was there last night knows, only cared about campaigning for lil’ ol’ Smee to be elected homecoming king.  He even managed to sway his former buddy Hook into helping, if what he was telling people is any indication.  Word on the street is that Tink volunteered to step in and make sure Smee has a good time.  We heard that means he’s getting at least a handy. 

Like we said though, short and sweet for right now, we’re off to Paris to get new dresses.  We’ll give you the dish on some of the other stories we’re following next week, including Gaston and Jack’s naked venture into building Swedish furniture.

DON’T FORGET TO VOTE FOR US TO BE YOUR QUEENS!

#nasty #drizzy #ursula #gaston #sluterella #hades #megara #tink #pan #hook #smee #jack #shang #ariel #aladdin

[tremainetribunal]

**RECORD SCRATCH** DID YOU HEAR GASTON ASKED THAT POTION-LOVING NERD URSULA TO HOMECOMING?! This can't be real. This has to be a dare or something, right?!

I would not be surprised if she was covered in pigs blood by the end of the night. Patience, anon, patience.

#drizzy #ursula #gaston #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

You know what we find hilarious?  You all preach about how you’re so much better than us and how you don’t bother yourselves with our “petty gossip” and then turn around and live your lives by our posts.  You’re giving us power over you and we love it more than Maleficent loves eating babies.

Case in point?  Flynnpunzel.  One word from us and that sickening joke of a couple was no more.  You’re welcome ladies!  Rider might be moping around now, but we’re sure by homecoming he’ll remember he can have any girl he wants (WE VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE) and get his balls back.  Word on the street is he’s secretly a Prince, so you can bet we’re going to find out more about that as soon as we finish dishing to you losers.

Rapunzel, on the other hand, has decided to take on the world vagina first since she’s been liberated from her doting cheater of a man.  We weren’t actually on the camping trip - we hate mosquitos - but we heard that she was getting pretty cozy with Shang before she turned her headlights (we mean her boobs, guys) on Pan and took his pants off to play with his peter.  See what we did there?  No word on who ended up scoring with her, but she and Pan flew off into the night together.  Your reputation’s already shot, Pun, but you might want to tone it down before you start looking as desperate as Tinkersmell, who we heard went to bed moping about the fact that Pan wants to spend time with anybody BUT her.

Speaking of Shang though, this is what, the third? fourth? event where he’s ended up almost completely naked.  Seriously, if there weren’t so many thirsty freshmen huddling around him, we’d actually start coming to these events to get a piece of that.  Last we heard of him, he was having deep conversation with Ursula by the lake.  More than likely breaking the news that he and Ariel totally hooked up a while back and trying to make sure that the balls Ursula conjures next time aren’t going to be his own.  We don’t think he has anything to worry about though, Ursula might not be as into Ariel as we thought, if the way she was drooling over campus demigod Maui at the gym the other day.  We had pictures, but Maui was shirtless so we’re keeping them to ourselves.  Personal collection, you know?

Ariel’s certainly been busy trying to fill Sluterella’s shoes.  A little birdy spotted her and Aladdin sneaking off somewhere together.  We’re not sure what was happening there, but now we’re starting to wonder if the whole reason Rapunzel grabbed Shang to chicken fight with her was to help her friend sneak off with another dude.  Since when is red in again?

Oh yeah!  Now that we mention chicken fighting, we should also mention the appearance of James Hook’s protegé, Smee.  We forgot his real name but it doesn’t actually matter.  He’s only got eyes for Hook, but we’re not going to deem him a threat until Hook starts looking at him instead of our tits when we see them together. 

Unexpected girl on girl action was apparently a theme of the camping trip this year though.  We heard Tink and Rapunzel made out for Pan and Shang, first of all, and we have it on good authority that our dear sister Sluterella and Mulan both “fell asleep” while everyone else was having their fun. 

Honestly, we kind of hope that Sluterella’s gone gay.  We heard she’s been sleeping with literal hottie Damian Hades and just... she should not get to tap that.  Even if she is, we heard he was hanging out with Maleficent for most of the night, so maybe she’ll destroy our dear sister in her quest for that magical D. 

Also in the fight for D’s D?  Megara Creon.  Despite rumors of her making Jack Sparrow wear her panties for fun (potentially why they seemed to be avoiding one another like the plague), before she had one of her rage fits and angst walked out of there, Megs and Hades were apparently arranging to wife swap with Pan and Tink.  Figures they’d be into that kinky shit.  We don’t hate it, but Hades & Pan could do a lot better if they subbed us for Megs and Tink. 

Last but not least, campus security has informed us that with the help of Maui and the Northuldra people who live in the forest, our dear Gaston and his trusted ladyboy LeFou were returned home safely.  Apparently they, along with that oafy moosefucker Kristoff, were lost in the woods on the way to the campsite. 

If you need us, we’ll be at the Alpha House making sure our dear Gaston is fully recovered.

#nasty #drizzy #megara #jack #gaston #lefou #maui #smee #tink #pan #hades #maleficent #shang #mulan #sluterella #ariel #aladdin #ursula #flynn #rapunzel #hook

[tremainetribunal]

Give us a list of the top five people Tink may actually murder (minus or including Pan?)

You really think five is a big enough number?  Pretty sure Pan makes his rounds to every girl on campus, which means that they’re all probs on Tinkersmell’s radar.  Top five though?  After that camping trip I’d put money on Rapunzel being at the top of her list.  Other than that?  Probably Megara, Sluterella, Hook & Shang, the other five apples of her beloved’s eye. 

Gag me.

Xoxo,

Nasty

#nasty #tink #rapunzel #pan #meg #sluterella #hook #shang #Anonymous #megara

[tremainetribunal]

So this is a column for calling girls whores and hyping up lame dudes...? Misogynist much?

Technically, we never explicitly used the word whore.  This column is for my sister and I to share our thoughts with the community, if you don’t like us, stop following us.  I know it’s hard, we’re the most desirable and sought out girls on campus, but you can go find Pocahontas and all the other SJW’s and make friends with them, you’ll probably fit in better. 

Grow some thicker skin darling, we don’t have time for this.

Xoxo,

Nasty

#nasty #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

School is back is session and that means we’re officially back in business.  We’ll wait while you finish clapping, we know you’ve been waiting a while for this one and far be it for us to disappoint.

It’s our sister Sluterella’s senior year and we’re pretty sure she’s made it her duty to make sure the incoming freshmen girls can make up for the lack of cheap sex on campus once she leaves.  Ariel Delmara, that obnoxious little firecrotch with obvious lip injections seems more than eager to take Slutty’s crown from her and honestly?  We’re kind of interested to see if she can do it.  She seems determined, but her bff Ursula “I wear potato sacks unironically” Leagues is probably going to try to keep Ariel’s legs closed to anybody other than her.  She’s been spotted kissing both Rapunzel Der Sonne and her smexy boyfriend Flynn Rider, but we think that’s just to cover her tracks.

Speaking of Rapunzel, she’s got a nice rack, but does she have anything else going for her?  This whole naivety card she’s playing is going to slap her in the face when she realizes her precious Rider has more fangirls with open legs than she has brain cells.  We’d say she could get some tips from her roommate Mulan, but unless it’s a recipe for fattening dip, pretty sure the only thing Fa’s good for is showing us that she doesn’t just play with the guys, she sweats like them too.  Anybody else see her panic attack in the middle of Truth or Dare at the beach party?  Maybe it was a ploy to sit on Rider’s lap and see if she could get something to pop up, but we’re betting she was just scared Jack would realize how smelly she was if she sat on him.

Stinkiness seems to be a general theme with the girls this year.  It appears our dear Tinkerbell has finally figured out that Peter Pan’s been fucking all her friends (and apparently Gaston, if what we heard about the football locker room is true - we setup a camera to fact check that one) right in front of her face.  Reeking of desperation must be why Tink’s been hanging out with the boys of Alpha house lately.  We’ve heard of revenge sex but who’s she having it with?  She went in with Gaston and left out of Hook’s window.  All this after making out with Jack Sparrow and probably just to get a reaction out of Peter.  Newsflash, Stinkerbell, he’s just not that into you.  We hear Hook’s hung like a horse though, so if you got a look at it, let us know.

Campus parties look pretty promising this year at least.  We’re not sure the venue was up to our standards, but we hear Shang Li’s been dropping trow and backing it up.  More than a few people came to us with reports of the best butt in ages being on display and we’re a little disappointed we were still off campus and couldn’t come see for ourselves.  Looks like he left with Sluterella though, so we’ll probably see him in a few months when he tells our dear sister he wants nothing to do with the baby she tricked him into putting in her.  We’re patient, we can wait.

We’ve gotten reports of some guy on guy kissing, namely Shang and Peter, and all we can say is yes please!  But also why not make it a quadruple kiss?  Hit us up and we can make it a private party.  Apparently Sluterella got down with Mulan for a little too, no surprise there, she’s been playing for both teams for years.

Last but not least, we’ve got to commend our friend Aladdin, who’s apparently making a concentrated effort to mack on every girl on campus this year.  We saw Mulan thirsting after him at the beach party, heard he’s been getting super flirty with Ariel, and that he left the giant dorm party with fucking Megara of all people.  We’re not sure who he’s after but he must have struck out if the after hours Magic Carpet ride with Maleficent is any indication.

As for us, the people you’re actually here to read about?  We’re still recovering from awards season in the states.  We’ll make sure to post plenty of pictures of us in our gowns, our red carpet looks were second to none and you can’t even imagine the after parties we went to.   Check out our gallery in the next few days to see all our celebrity encounters!

#drizznasty #aladdin #ariel #sluterella #pan #tink #hook #drizzy #nasty #shang #mulan #ursula #maleficent #jack #gaston #rapunzel #flynn

[tremainetribunal]

Unpopular Opinion: Peter Pan is an overgrown toddler and more obnoxious than anything else.

The Peter Pan is one of the sexiest, most eligible men on campus and I don’t appreciate someone that he’s deemed unworthy, writing in to try and sway our high opinion of him.

#peter #drizzy #Anonymous

[tremainetribunal]

How does Gaston keep getting laid? I know he's muscular but he's gross af and isn't even charming! Love yourself, ladies!!!

You obviously are a hairy feminist or a jealous boy. Gaston take me!

#drizzy #gaston #Anonymous