yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

The constant struggle between wanting to embrace my masculine side more, but also knowing it’s going to set me apart from everyone else more if I actually do

#gender non-conforming problems #like other girls already view me as an outsider #literally one haircut away from being outlawed #gnc #lgbt

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Not me thinking about how much healthier all straight/romantic relationships would be if all alloramantic people approached it with a non-amatonormative mindset

#aromantic #i think it would definitely bring a level of authenticity to relationships #and a lot less expectations defined by traditional romance #all relationships have different needs and this would allow people to explore that more in romantic relationships #amatonormativity #lgbt #lgbt pride

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Is this just me being too much, or does the term ‘malewife’ just seem… counterproductive?

Doesn’t sit right with me that the things malewife means (submissive, domestic etc) are inherently still being stereotyped as something a wife or woman should do.

#malewife #like we’re just saying wives are submissive now are we

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Being in a QPR is just a constant struggle of trying to come up with cute little gestures for your partner that aren’t romantic.

Seriously, what’s the non-romantic equivalent of coming home with a bunch of roses?

#not to say that flowers or anything else is inherently romantic #im just speaking with regards to my current relationship #i just want to do nice things for my partner okay #aromantic #qpr #qpp #lgbt

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

“Try as I will I just don’t understand it

Love is for mortals and fools.”

From: Mortals and Fools, Death Note Musical (English)

#aka that time an anime musical was the biggest aro mood ever #aromantic #aro culture #death note #anime #death note musical #jeremy jordan #death note is actually a good example of the destructive power of love #spoiler: rip rem :(

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Queer is such a good word, I love it so much. I love being queer, I love being around other queer people, I love queerness in general it's all wonderful.

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Is it just me or is that an aromantic flag in the background

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Since September 11th 2021 marks the 20th anniversary of 9/11 please remember that hating and trying to kill and inciting violence against innocent muslims who had nothing to do with it does no service to the memories of the innocent people who died that day.

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

honestly the boundaries between friendship and romance don’t really matter that much like at all if everyone involved is ok with it

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

There are still too many times where I believe that romantic attraction isn’t even real and everyone has just been faking it because of society’s expectations.

#aro culture is #i am sorry i am just confused #aromantic #aro #aro pride #maybe mixed with a little bit of sexual attraction #lgbt #lgbt pride

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Aroallo culture is having your first kiss quickly turn into a very steamy make-out session because really, who wants to waste time with the soft romance?

#aro culture on the other hand is having your first kiss at 19 #aromantic allosexual #aroallo #aromantic #aro pride #lgbt #lgbt pride #lgbt+

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Let’s talk about gender because I have a bone to pick

One of my courses at university require us to keep a journal, and this week’s prompt was:

WRITE AN ENTRY ABOUT WHAT MAKES YOU A MAN, OR A WOMAN, OR NON-BINARY.

The follow up prompting was asking us to refer to things like physical expression, non-verbal and verbal interactions, and activities and hobbies you engage in.

And while I do appreciate the inclusiveness of non-binary folk, there’s so many other issues with this, starting with the fact that there’s absolutely NO way for me to answer this.

Here’s the thing. I’m gender non-conforming. Proudly. I use she/her pronouns, and legally and socially generally just identify as female, because I’m comfortable enough with it and it’s what everyone knows me as but to be frank my actual gender identity means nothing to me because I’m GNC. That’s the whole point to me, personally, that whatever I do I’m just doing because I want to, and nothing has any relation to my gender. And that’s how I’m happy.

So truly how am I supposed to answer a question like this? My general gender expression is more along the lines of androgyny (but I don’t identify as non-binary). It just bothers me so much how they don’t realise how limiting a question like this is (and also how they seem to think that being non-binary is just a perfect third gender, which I don’t believe it is).

#gnc #what even is gender actually #gender non conforming #gender non-conforming #lgbt #lgbt+ #lgbt pride #non-binary

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

i tend to idealize romance and relationships so much, i can't help but think that without it i won't be happy.

and it drives me mad BECAUSE i don't feel like doing romance, it doesn't come genuinely from me, i don't feel comfortable... so why should i put myself in that spot? gosh.

it's a daily internal battle.

#amatonormativity at its finest folks

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

In conclusion, no. Amatonormativity just sucks.

Thanks for everyone’s responses. Really cleared things up for me!

Today’s million dollar question

Does enjoying doing traditionally ‘romantic’ things with someone mean that I’m romantically attracted to them?

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Got a haircut recently and very soon after FaceTimed a friend of mine.

His immediate response was, ‘Oh my god you look like a boy!’

When I tell you the gnc part of me was EUPHORIC.

#im not out yet but that simple statement really made me feel some kind of way #gnc #gender non-comforming #lgbt #lgbt pride #non-aro content

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

Today’s million dollar question

Does enjoying doing traditionally ‘romantic’ things with someone mean that I’m romantically attracted to them?

#okay no genuinely i need to know #does this mean some part of me wants to be in a romantic relationship #aromantic #aro culture #aro culture is struggling to differentiate between romantic and platonic #lgbt #lgbt pride #aromantic pride

[yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaro]

for me romance repulsion is less “oh gross people kissing, that’s so disgusting” and far more “oh my god that guy I’ve been friendly with in class just asked me out and now I think I’m having a panic attack because I don’t fucking want to be in this situation”

it’s taken me a long time to realize that I have that reaction because I specifically don’t like the ridged rules and assumptions frequently made in a Romantic Relationship™. you’re supposed to feel a certain way, act a certain way, and do certain things in a certain order with implications on the seriousness of the relationship. I’m aromantic, so feelings are vauge, changing, and unreliable as a foundation for a relationship. I’m autistic, so social rules and assumptions are a nightmare. what if I want to do things out of order? what if I decide I don’t like something anymore? what if I don’t see something as a ‘step forward’?

and it’s possible, but so hard to fit all these accommodations into a romantic relationship, and that’s before you add that I’m also poly and I don’t view relationships as a hierarchy. my friendships are as important to me as any other relationship. I don’t see romantic relationships as special or unique in any way, they simply ask for a different kind of commitment. traditional relationships just don’t make sense for me

in a romantic relationship, I feel trapped and misunderstood. I feel like I’m lying and being lied to simultaneously. but if you take the same level of commitment, the same ‘romantic’ activities, but this time built on a foundation of communication and respect? if each step is chosen because it makes sense for our needs and wants, rather than following an outline for how it ‘should’ work? if I’m allowed and expected to change, if it’s known and accepted that my feelings are unreliable, my attraction is nonexistent, and I’m not expected to perform alloromanticism or allistic behavior to stroke my partner’s ego? all of a sudden I’m comfortable

romance repulsion can take a lot of forms. some people experience it very differently—but it can also be far more specific and arbitrary than most people would assume.