iamsofictional

[iamsofictional]

One day you think you are healing

Thinking you have forgotten about the past

Thinking that the past doesn't haunt you.

The very next day a single text from them makes you breakdown.

Not that I know why.

But I cry, cry and cry again.

Not because I miss you

But because I know I'll forgive you.

I'll forgive you like all those times.

Sometimes I ask God "why me?"

"what was my fault?" But there's no answer.

Maybe if I wasn't as forgiving it wouldn't have hurt.

I ignore you because I know a single "best of luck, my child" would break me down.

Because I know that I'll fall for this illusion yet again

Because I'll think again that you love me

But when I'll be needing you, you would not be there .

You would stand with the one who have hurted me

Did you know the scars I have on myself are not honours of me winning a battle

But a constant reminder— a reminder that you stood by them when they were hurting me

But then I'll fall in this loop of hurting myself over and over again.

Though I don't wanna hurt myself because I deserve love as well

But sometimes...no many times I wish I was not as forgiving.

I wish it was easy to not think of other's but myself.

I wish I could respect myself more than my empathy.

I wish my tears were faithful to me.

But my own love is faithful to everyone but me.

#i guess it does bother me 👹

[iamsofictional]

One day you think you are healing

Thinking you have forgotten about the past

Thinking that the past doesn't haunt you.

The very next day a single text from them makes you breakdown.

Not that I know why.

But I cry, cry and cry again.

Not because I miss you

But because I know I'll forgive you.

I'll forgive you like all those times.

Sometimes I ask God "why me?"

"what was my fault?" But there's no answer.

Maybe if I wasn't as forgiving it wouldn't have hurt.

I ignore you because I know a single "best of luck, my child" would break me down.

Because I know that I'll fall for this illusion yet again

Because I'll think again that you love me

But when I'll be needing you, you would not be there .

You would stand with the one who have hurted me

Did you know the scars I have on myself are not honours of me winning a battle

But a constant reminder— a reminder that you stood by them when they were hurting me

But then I'll fall in this loop of hurting myself over and over again.

Though I don't wanna hurt myself because I deserve love as well

But sometimes...no many times I wish I was not as forgiving.

I wish it was easy to not think of other's but myself.

I wish I could respect myself more than my empathy.

I wish my tears were faithful to me.

But my own love is faithful to everyone but me.

#poems on tumblr #original poem #spilled poetry #sad poetry #spilled writing #spilled words #spilled in poetry #words words words #words #my poem #poet #poets on tumblr #poetry #poems and poetry #poem #the tortured poets department #poem and poetry

[iamsofictional]

You were a prose

I turned you into a metaphor

You left me for a rose

When I could give you a garden, love.

You wanted blanket

I could be your personal sun

You wanted water

I could be your waterfall

You wanted light

I could be your moon

You wanted rain

I could be your monsoon

You wanted fall

But I already had fallen for you.

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