lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

The Final Count Down

Sunday 11/26/2023

Technically I’m supposed to be on vacation until tomorrow, but I have some time on my hands and thoughts on my mind.

This is the last day of classes and I’m working on some final assignments: The last touches on a research paper for the capstone course for my Interdisciplinary Studies major, a PowerPoint for the Hands-on History Internship Showcase on Friday, and a reflection on my service-learning hours with the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida – again, for capstone.

All I can think about is graduation! I’m so close, I can feel the end nearing!

My nerves are finally dissolving, leaving me with anxious anticipation, and a bit of “senioritis” as I chug through these final tasks.

Once the semester ends, this internship will fulfill the last course credits that I need – pending the History Department’s substitution – to complete my history minor.

Even though UCF has an Interdisciplinary Studies Master’s Program, I’m looking forward to turning in my application for the Public History Master’s Program by the priority deadline (January 15th). I aim to start my degree in the Fall of 2024 and, after learning about another student’s experience from Rollins’ Archival staff, I plan to take one seminar course at a time.

The only exception would be if I’m accepted into the Summer Research Program at UCF, allowing me to earn 6 credits the summer before.

This plan to take things slow is to hopefully avoid burnout and allow me to work with plenty of thought, care, and attention to my master’s degree. I’d also like to have time and energy to dedicate to internships and other forms of hands-on learning experiences like volunteering – maybe even a job that provides opportunities to expand skills that are relevant to public history professions.

Thursday 11/30/2023

Tomorrow is presentation day and I’m first up on the schedule (thank goodness! I’ll get to just sit and listen to everyone else’s experiences for the rest of the time!)

I’m literally functioning on meeting and due dates:

Tomorrow is the Hands-On History Showcase.

Sunday, all of my Capstone Assignments are due.

The following Friday, my final is due.

Then the Friday after that is graduation.

After that, I have about a month until the priority deadline for applications for the Public History Master’s Program at UCF.

That’s as far out as I can think right now.

I’m full of excitement and anxiety, but I’m also hopeful and optimistic!

Most of all, I am grateful, and I plan to spend some time throughout the following weeks communicating that to the mentors who positively impacted my undergraduate journey – pretty much all of them. (I was wondering if I was going to get sentimental leading up to graduation and, finally, here I am typing through calm tears as I reminisce on how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people to reach out to with gratitude.)

I’m glad this is how I chose to spend my final semester. Earlier this year, I was thrown off my path and I was heartbroken trying to piece together a new plan that accommodated my limited capacities as a student living with disabilities.

Now, two weeks from graduation, I stand firmer and more confident in my plans, goals, and desires.

Thank you to the wonderful faculty, staff, and peers who taught me so much along the way! Without their support, I would not have accomplished all that I have throughout my undergraduate career.

See you next Fall as a master’s student! (fingers-crossed)

Friday 12/01/2023

The showcase just ended and that just about wraps up the semester for me!

Everyone else had some incredibly enriching experiences and it was cool to see someone else who participated in the HerStory: Women in History Internship at the Orange County Regional History Center.

It seems the structure of it has come a long way, allowing her to accomplish so much more hands-on work than I had during my time there!

There was a lot of diversity in the projects everyone worked on, so I also learned other ways of being a public historian and doing public history work.

Hopefully, when I enter the Public History Master’s Program at UCF I’ll get to work alongside some of these wonderfully talented individuals!

Thanks for following my journey!

- Marena

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #internship #history exhibit #banned books #graduation

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Wednesday, Nov. 15th, 23

This is the most eventful week of the semester in the BEST of way 😊

Sunday was the last Board meeting of the year and the second I attended, where I was elected to join! So, I’m now a staying team member and looking forward to continuing working with everyone.

Tomorrow is opening night for the exhibition, and I’ll be spending pretty much all day prepping and setting up 😊

I heard a lot of interest has been expressed by people in the community, which is super exciting! I hope we end up with a good turnout!

Before the Sunday meeting, I also had the opportunity to speak to one of my mentors from the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida who works in Rollins College’s history department.

I told her I was graduating soon and looking for work on a college campus. However, she had an internship opportunity working on an archiving project with a local foundation and she thought I’d be an excellent candidate for it!

She provided the contact information, and I reached out and sent my resume the next day. Now I have an interview this afternoon!!!

Finger-crossed that it’s mine for the taking 😊

Thursday, Nov. 16th, 23

It’s exhibit opening night!

I spent the morning and afternoon prepping and setting up with Rachel from the Museum Board.

Pinning the posters up was a challenge because they were heavy and the felt in the display cases was not sturdy but we managed to work them in there. They’re not perfect (well one of them is pretty flattened out. The other one is kind of bulgy because the felt was just not cooperating!) But it’s all legible and we really did our best.

I’m currently writing from my husband’s workplace as I kill time between setting up and the actual event tonight. I have to be back at The Center around 5:30 pm, and it’s 3:40 pm right now.

A little bit about The Center, their mission statement on their website reads:

“The mission of LGBT+ Center Orlando is to promote and empower the LGBT community and its allies through advocacy, education, information, and support.”

They have three locations, two of which are testing centers in Kissimmee and Orlando, and their main location is in Orlando as well. There they host community events, test for STI’s, provide free resources such as a pantry and some contraception options, carry exhibits – some larger held and some smaller like ours, and so much more.

Living on the other side of the county, I don’t run into resources like this a lot or spaces with this sort of dedication. It feels great to be more closely involved with this organization and the local LGBTQ community with which I identify as being part of but, due to proximity issues, cannot participate and connect as much as I’d like to.

Friday, Nov. 17th, 23

Today has been a day of relaxation and reflection.

Last night was amazing!

The rain unfortunately kept a lot of potential exhibit guests, but it was still a lovely turn out 😊

I had such a great time and even saw one of my mentors from my 2021 internship at the Orange County History Center. He said he enjoyed the exhibit, which was so encouraging because earlier this year the exhibit he had a substantial hand in designing and preparing was finally installed.

I also got to meet some of the staff and volunteers at The Center and learn a bit about their lives here in Florida and as members of the LGBTQ+ community.

This week, between the exhibit event, joining the Board of Directors, and the interview for the archival internship, I feel extremely validated.

The more I hang around these public history spaces, the more I feel a part of it, something I entered this semester feeling insecure about. 😊

Here are some pictures from the event:

The top 2 images are the exhibit panels and the bottom 3 are some of the banned books the archivist Rachel from the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida pulled from the Rollins College Library.

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #education #internship #History exhibit #banned books #book banning #timelines #books

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Updates and a Tip

Wednesday, November 16th, 2023

There is something so fulfilling about watching a project come together. 😊

The exhibit opens next week, on November 16th, and this week – actually today – we are finalizing the design to send out to print!

I’ve heard that a lot of people have shown interest in coming out to opening night and I am so excited about it! So far, I’m not nervous, but we’ll see as the day approaches…

Lately, I’ve expressed anxiety about my workload and managing mental health stuff, but things are finally settling down and I’m finally caught up on everything.

I had to really lean into my support system and get A LOT of rest.

I hope this is relatable but isn’t it crazy how, as college students, we lose a lot of rest by trying to make the most of our time by being “productive”, but we end up losing sleep and productivity by not taking time for a nap or just quitting early and going to bed?

At least that’s my experience, lol.

This week I made sure to do that and it paid off 😊

I’ll get to attend the next Board meeting on Sunday, so I will also get to hear everyone’s thoughts on the exhibit before setting up!

I’m so grateful for all the help I’ve had putting it together with feedback and guidance from everyone directly involved with exhibit designing and my internship from the Board.

Today’s meeting will be about a last-minute review of the layout and coordinating how it will be printed because some things have to be printed on a different file format for the best print quality.

Friday, November 10th, 2023

Yesterday I turned in all the printing materials for the exhibit with all the changes and details we agreed on during the Wednesday meeting.

That day, I also met with another professor from the Department of History who my current internship mentor referred me to for some oral history projects they’re working on coordinating and collecting.

It was such a pleasant meeting 😊

We discussed some of the backgrounds on the interviewees she’s in contact with.

I never know how much I’m allowed to share about these projects but what I’m sure I can say is that they have fascinating stories and I’m very much looking forward to helping conduct these interviews.

I’ve gotten to learn so much about the local LGBTQ+ community through my work with the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida. This oral history project is an extension of that allowing me to get up close and personal with people who have been significant figures in that history.

So, now that the work is slowing down on the exhibit, I’ll be starting research on some local LGBTQ (and LGBTQ-friendly) organizations that the interviewees are or have been involved in, starting with the materials stored at UCF Special Collections at the library!

I’m not sure if I’ve already mentioned this in an earlier blog post but it’s so important to nurture relationships with mentors.

 It’s easy to feel like their last priority as students but they are there to listen and guide you to the best of their ability. Sometimes that can include providing opportunities for growth that they can’t offer at the moment, like this oral history project that another professor other than my direct mentor is working on. Or even ones they themselves can offer but outside of the current work at hand, such as the panel I presented in last month.

Be open about your goals, interests, plans, feelings, and even your struggles. They wouldn’t be in the business of mentorship if they didn’t have an interest in their students’ development.

That’s my tip this week 😊

The end of the semester is closing in fast, which means graduation is around the corner.

I’ll be working on setting up my next steps for the next few weeks; graduate and job applications, mainly.

So, I’ll be keeping you all up on my progress for the rest of the month or so 😊

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #museum internship #public history internship #student internship #college student #education #internship

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Results are coming in!

I was able to send off the exhibit draft a day early (Sunday) and this week I’m just waiting for feedback.

So far, everyone seems excited about the work, and those who have responded so far have provided some very constructive suggestions that will help during editing. 😊

While I wait to hear more from others, I’m shifting my attention toward my capstone course this week and working on the research project.

Let me tell you, the Interdisciplinary Research Process (the currently accepted research method in this growing field of study) is extensive and tedious.

Just as the discipline’s name implies, research involves integrated insights from 2 or more fields of study.

And while it seems counter-intuitive, it’s not always looking to find solutions or test out problems.

Oftentimes, it is used to point out flaws in singular disciplinary approaches, making a case for the need for more holistic approaches to viewing phenomena and solving problems.

I struggled a lot with this initially, trying to find solid answers about my topic, but it is finally starting to make sense! It’s a mostly comparative process between insights, perspectives, and methods but the end of the study is where the integration happens.

 At the undergraduate level – with the time and space allotted for projects – again, I’m not expected to deliver a fully comprehensive study, but rather a comprehensive observation and preliminary view of the topic at hand.

As I’ve mentioned before, I had to quit my Honors Undergraduate Thesis project earlier this year but have been looking forward to pursuing it through other means.

 So, I picked it back up for this project, with a slight modification to suit the brevity of the assignment from Puerto Rican Women’s Experiences in Central Florida to exploring Puerto Rican Identification using the Central Floridian as an example.

It’s been interesting revisiting the subject now. I don’t mean to keep harping on these recent neuropsychological diagnoses, but the truth is they have changed my perspective of my life experiences, making me question my understanding of the world around me, including how I understood “puertorriqueñidad” or the embodiment/expression of “puertorricaness”.

So, as students and researchers, our work and our interests are motivated by personal experiences, so my gravitation toward learning about other local Puerto Rican women’s experiences was not out of this world.

However, I couldn’t let go of this idea of “performance” of culture and of gender. So much so that it was part of the core of the perspective I was approaching the entire subject with.

I was essentially looking for evidence of this and to be honest, I was not finding it to the capacity that I was looking for.

Going to therapy has been teaching me a lot about being on the autism spectrum, including a term called “masking”, which is, in a sense, performing.

And I began to wonder just how much of my experience I was projecting onto my work and how I viewed other Puerto Ricans’ experiences.

Was I looking for a phenomenon that’s not as universal as I previously believed?

It’s really been a lesson in trying to be reflective of oneself during the research process and being aware of our experiential biases.

However, a good researcher does not give up any possibilities until evidence presents itself, so I haven't discounted the fact that there may be some truth to the performativity of “puertorriqueñidad”. I’m just more open to other possibilities now.

That’s all for me this week 😊

If you’re reading this and you are an Interdisciplinary scholar or Puerto Rican, I’d love to read/hear more about your experience with research (scholars) or with identity (Puerto Ricans).

Thanks for reading!

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #university student #interdisciplinary studies #interdisciplinary research #boricuas #Puerto Ricans #puertorriqueños #puertorriqueñidad #boricua #Puerto Rican

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

This week was crunch time!

I have a due date of October 30th (this coming Monday – 3 DAYS!) for a draft of the exhibit layout, and I’ve finally started messing around with design programs this week.

 I’m trying not to feel the pressure too heavily but it’s also inevitable because I’m also learning how to use these design tools, specifically, Adobe InDesign which I haven’t used since Intro to Journalism in 9th grade! That was, like, 14 years ago!

Luckily, it hasn’t changed much and it’s surprisingly intuitive to navigate, at least for the basics of creating text boxes, formatting fonts and paragraphs, and importing images.

I’m also still very new to Canva, which I’ve been using to design visuals like charts, graphs, and infographics.

I know I’ve aged myself now, but honestly, it’s a nod to the fact that I’m reaching an age – or maybe already have -  where I don’t feel as confident dabbling with unfamiliar forms of technology and I have to go out of my way to expose myself to them (even with social media where the stakes are so low, I have no clue how to “stitch” videos or make images that I want to point at as my background.)

So, I’m very proud of myself for overcoming those fears and allowing myself to learn something new!

I was able to complete a rough draft of the first exhibit panel (out of 2) and I’m looking forward to some feedback later today (Friday the 27th).

At this point, I can’t tell if I’m making good time on this or if it makes sense as an exhibit, so the feedback is super important to me.

For visuals, I have been clipping open-access digitized newspapers and having to choose which ones are the most relevant and go best with the exhibit.

So, on top of designing, I have also been curating this week! (A skill I hadn’t considered I was developing until maybe yesterday)

I’ve been having a great time, but I can’t deny that I’m struggling, especially since, as I mentioned above, I don’t know if I’m making good time on this.

Admittedly, I’ve been investing most of my energy into this one project this semester, putting my capstone class in the back seat.

I’m very lucky and grateful for the professor I have for that class, who doesn’t take points off for lateness. This gives me the luxury to put those assignments aside to focus on the exhibit, and I haven’t had to turn anything in late yet.

But this may finally be the week.

However, let me clarify that the workload demand is not actually unmanageable.

This year and this semester have just been personally challenging with trying to balance my health needs and my current mental health journey.

Since this is the last post, I’ll be publishing on ADHD Awareness Month, I want to acknowledge how that has affected me throughout this process (I wouldn’t want future interns to think this is an excessively demanding position!)

One of the things that was made evident to me is that I have a slow processing time which makes learning new things and synthesizing them a bit harder for me.

Even though I underwent testing and was told my results weeks ago, the process of writing out the report can take a few weeks. Then I have to give that report to my psychiatrist to review and then set up an appointment to go over it and discuss treatment plans.

I would need that report for specialized counseling programs that treat adults with a combination of ADHD and Autism spectrum.

So, for now, I am relying on medical studies and articles to educate myself on these things. However, I’m still not undergoing treatment, so the struggles persist. (And even more so with the anticipation weighing me down! Like salvation is so close but won’t seem to arrive on time.)

Regardless, I am working to the best of my capacities and keeping an optimistic outlook and I know I have the support from my mentors, supervisors, and peers to stay motivated and get through this!

Now, here are some clippings that won't be making it to the exhibit1:

Image 1: Davis Reflex Journal, 02/22/1945, pg. 2 - An illustration used to accompany an editorial urging women to prepare for soldiers' return from World War II with financial competence and stability.

Image 2: Fort Worth Star Telegram, 10/20/1950, pg. 26 - Comic portraying a "ditsy" woman waiting for her husband who's leaving for the war. Probably refirring to the Korean War.

Image 3: Fort Worth Star Telegram, 10/20/1950, pg. 26 - A PSA for parents to prioritize their children's needs over routine.

You can find all these on Newspapers.com :)

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #education #internship #university student #university student blog #public history blog #newspapers #newspaper comics #1950s #1940s #ADHD #AuDHD

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Wow! What a crazy week!

This post is a little delayed because I just needed to process everything, plus I was just generally not feeling well yesterday.

I wish I had the space to do an audio recording but this week the house is full, but I’m just bursting at the seams with excitement.

I’ve never had the chance to attend an event by the History Department on campus and I’ve missed out on so many cool talks and opportunities to meet professionals in my field (even though I was LITERALLY and advocate for those kinds of things as a PeerKnights Coach!)

So, I’ve been mentioning for a couple of weeks that I’ve been preparing for a panel…

(Note to any students reading this!: If you’re invited to do a panel and you can fit it into your schedule and workload, DO IT! They’re often informal and a great way to open up discussion on topics you may be interested in or that are relevant in your field.)

The board of the LGBTQ History Museum invited me to speak on their panel on the research I’ve been doing for the exhibit. This panel was part of a larger event, The Florida Historical Society’s Annual Meeting and Symposium, which was hosted at UCF.

A little bit about the society, here’s an excerpt from their website’s “About Us” page:

“Established in 1856, the Florida Historical Society is dedicated to preserving Florida's past through the collection and archival maintenance of historical documents and photographs, the publication of scholarly research on Florida history, and educating the public about Florida history through a variety of public history projects and programs…”

(Sounds like everything I’ve described I want to do, lol)

I was admittedly so nervous to present, and I spent like a week and a half perfecting my PowerPoint just to write my script within two days of presenting! So, my only regret is spending most of the time looking down at my script and not connecting with the audience.

But it went great! There was a lot of discussion following the panel presentations on censorship and how it’s affecting librarians' and educators’ ability to do their jobs, and really, what they love.

I also got to learn more about the museum’s history and my fellow student, who is on the museum board, read an insightful breakdown of the museum’s current exhibit on the AIDS crisis.

It was heartwarming to be in that environment and see myself as part of it. Like I’ve mentioned before, since I don’t major in history, I tend to feel like an outsider, but this experience was so affirming!

My mentors congratulated me on my work, and I feel even more excited moving forward to share my ideas for the exhibit as I continue to edit the written work and begin designing the layout.

 Later on, they also hosted the Jerrell Shofner Lecture Series, named in honor of the “prolific Florida historian”.

This year’s lecturers happened to be scholars whose work I’ve been reading and using for the undergraduate thesis I was working on, Dr. Simone Delerme and Dr. Patricia Silver.

A few posts ago I also talked about our mentors and those we look up to being just normal people, right?

BUT I FELT LIKE I WAS FRONT ROW AT MY FAVORITE ARTIST’S CONCERT! They are ROCKSTARS to me!

I got to sit down and eat at the reception with them and chat over tiny empanadas!

Then they talked about their research on Puerto Ricans in Central Florida and even though I’ve read much of the material they spoke on, I was completely engaged.

It was so fun to also get to hang out with my mentors in a more informal space and watch them banter with each other as they passed off the microphone to announce the next thing.

Events like these can really humanize professional relationships, which is what I really got out of it.

I wish I had the energy to attend the full event and see more presentations, but I prioritized being there for the museum’s panel and being able to stay for the Shofner Lecture.

I hung around at the end because I was just too excited to go but I got to exchange some amazing words with pioneers in the field of research I’m most deeply interested in: The Puerto Rican Diaspora.

I want to close out with a big THANK YOU to my current faculty mentor and supervisor from the LGBTQ History Museum, Dr. Connie Lester, for this internship position, for your guidance, and for inviting me to the panel; My other supervisor, Dr. Scott French, for staying for the panel and always being so supportive; My previous faculty mentor, Dr. Martínez-Fernández, for cheering me on still and for facilitating so many connections for me; and the Department of History for hosting such an awesome event!

I just don’t know where I’d be without so many sources of support.

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #education #shofner lecture #florida history society #history society #conference #university student #student tips

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Being a Student and Acknowledging Mental Health

Wow everyone!

It’s the middle of the semester now and I have to say, I didn’t feel it coming because honestly, I have no traditionally structured classes.

Last week’s post was dedicated to Banned Books Week but this one I’d like to dedicate to something else that was celebrated last week which is Mental Illness Awareness Week (as opposed to Mental Health Awareness Month which is in May). It’s also ADHD Awareness month which has been celebrated since 2004.

It’s believed that around 42% of people born between 1990 and 2010 have been diagnosed with some type of mental health condition, the top 3 being Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD in that order. And oftentimes mental health issues start to present themselves around our late teens and early 20s are and intensify if the signs were already there.

So, as students, we tend to juggle so much, and we usually attend college at a time when we are just starting to discover ourselves independent from the systems that shaped our perspectives growing up while potentially facing unanticipated mental health challenges.

I have personally struggled with consistency in mental health care, mainly due to financial inaccessibility but also because of a lack of self-awareness and inaccurate self-reporting which led to poor self-advocacy.

Last week, after several interviews and testing sessions with a neuropsychiatric team, I received perhaps the most comprehensive overview of my mental health that I have ever gotten. My results both disproved some previous diagnoses that I’d been skeptical about and also brought up conditions I hadn’t considered until then.

See, not all my results were about mental health concerns. Part of the testing was screening for neurological and developmental disorders which if left undiagnosed and unacknowledged/untreated can lead to more complications with existing mental illnesses.

So, for the sake of transparency, I’d like to share my diagnosis because I have always believed that dialogue is a powerful tool for processing and coping as well as fighting stigmas and stereotypes.

Originally, I sought testing for ADHD which I’d been previously diagnosed with but because of my inconsistency, I missed when they changed the standard for treatment. Now, to be treated for ADHD with stimulant therapy, at least in Florida that I know of, you must have an official diagnosis from a neuropsychiatrist. The testing for this was actually kind of fun and I thought I “passed” a lot of the tests. I in fact scored in the lowest percentiles for a lot of the tests, pointing to a clear diagnosis of ADHD.

Other diagnoses that came up that did not surprise me were generalized and social anxiety, unspecified depression, and CPTSD.

The most surprising and perhaps reality altering diagnosis was that they found evidence of being on the autism spectrum. Autism is not considered a mental illness - rather a neurological or developmental disorder as mentioned before - but like I said, if left unacknowledged, can cause depression and anxiety but can also lead to misdiagnoses.

For example, part of this was undiagnosing (not a word but I will be using it) bipolar depression and chronic depression. This holistic testing process revealed that my patterns of behavior and mental state do not indicate sustained episodes of depression stemming on their own or extreme highs for periods of time with impulsive actions and patterns of thinking.

This testing was very important for me because I never felt like my mental health teams were tackling the right issues and I knew part of it was my fault for how I self-reported during times of little self-awareness. Now I can look forward to finding a therapist who can help me develop awareness and coping skills that align with my combination of mental health and neurological conditions!

Unfortunately, access to this type of diagnostic testing is difficult to access especially as an adult because a lot of the testing centers, at least in my local area, are geared towards children and minors.  Therapy and counseling can also be expensive and uninsured. This leads to many who struggle through undiagnosed or misdiagnosed and mistreated symptoms alone and unable to access the help they need.

That is why so many organizations have worked to label certain days, weeks, or months out of the year to simply raise awareness of others’ experiences. Awareness is the first step to taking action.

To learn more about ADHD Awareness Month, Mental Illness Awareness Week, or Mental Health Awareness Month follow the links below:

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #university student #mental health #mental illness #therapy #student blog #student's mental health #autism #neurodiversity #actually audhd #audhd #depression #anxiety

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Click the GIF for this week's post!

I've decided to try recording my thoughts this week instead, in a little conversation about censorship and book banning as Banned Books Week 2023 comes to a close!

Resources and Ways to Resist Book Censorship:

Stay informed and educated on the issue of censorship

Read, Rent, Purchase, Borrow, Lend, and/or Donate Banned/Restricted Books

Encourage others to read banned books or just a diverse collection of narratives

Support young readers' curiosity

Get involved!: Volunteer at your local library or with organizations fighting censorship in your area.

Follow the links below for more ways to resist book banning and censorship!

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #education #internship #museum internship #student internship #college student #university student #student life #banned books week #banned books week 2023 #let freedom read #censorship #book bans

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Am I What I Am?

How often do you feel “Imposter Syndrome”?

Imposter Syndrome is that feeling like you’re somehow not qualified for what you’re doing.

That even though you’ve been invited into a space, you somehow don’t belong there.

Like you’ve tricked everyone into thinking that you’re, say, a public historian, and now they’re just letting you design an entire exhibit!

Okay, so by now you can probably tell this is personal (lol).

My last post definitely gave away some of this brewing self-doubt, but I remained positive. However, I had one day where it all overwhelmed me at once.

That happens as students with everything going on PLUS school. As a student living with disabilities, I carry the extra load of the maintenance work that comes with chronic health conditions, and this was just one of those weeks when I had to balance my academic responsibilities with a wad of follow-up appointments and testing!

So, it all just felt like too much for a day and the imposter syndrome sunk in as I was preparing for the meeting with the Board. It was so bad that I questioned whether I even wanted to keep pursuing public history anymore! The field I have been actively building relationships and experience in for over 2 years now!

I know I’m not the only one who has been there, though. If you’re doing things right, you’re frequently entering spaces where you question your place until it becomes familiar.

Well, you can imagine my relief when I met the rest of the board, and they were incredibly warm and inviting. And to top it off, they were all very excited about what I brought to the table! They gave great feedback and suggestions giving me direction as I transition into the writing and design process.

The pressure I have felt this semester to impress is all my own because everyone around me has only been happy with my work and encouraging about my ideas.

After reflecting, I found that as an Interdisciplinary Studies major, I find it intimidating speaking to fellow students or professors who’ve specialized in History for years (or literally any of the disciplines I’ve covered in my degree program like sociology and anthropology, or humanities and Latin American Studies.)

And so there I was, in a room with incredibly smart and experienced individuals, most of whom I’d never met, about to present my research and exhibit idea for the first time. You hear the word “Board” and titles like “Doctor” and as a student, you can feel so inexperienced in just the worst ways.

However, something to remember in moments like these is that sometimes we build others up in our heads as figures to look up to. And yes, they may be accomplished and admirable people; And yes, we should respect them, but they are just people.

I think if we try to reframe these “figures” in our lives - humanize them, remembering that although they are professionally your superior, they’re normal people too – we can overcome some of that imposter syndrome.

They were in your shoes once, just starting their career and perhaps with less ground under their feet.

They can be just as endeared by your accomplishments as you are by theirs.  

So, the next time you’re nervous about meeting with that potential mentor whose positive reputation and track record overwhelm you with excitement and anxiety, remember: They also misplace their files; their emails also get stuck in their outbox/drafts; They also fumble with their materials; They also forget that one very important thing they needed today.

So, claim your place and remember you are where you’re meant to be!

Thanks for following along 😊

#internship blog #history student #history intern blog #public history intern blog #public history internship #internship #museum internship #student internship #Student blog #college student #college life #university life #undergraduate

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Time to Show What I've Got

This is an exciting week!

I’m organizing the information I have gathered for the exhibit to propose to the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida Board on Sunday!

I’m nervous because up until now I’ve mostly just communicated with my direct supervisor/mentor. But this week I’ll be meeting the whole group for the first time as I present what I have been working on for about a month. I feel pressure to have it right from the start, but I know that is just me doing that to myself.

I’ve tried to stick with a concept and focus my research on that but I’m afraid that they might not like it. I’ve also had another concept in the back of my mind, but I keep thinking back to what my mentor said at the beginning of my investigation and I ask myself, “Is this good for an exhibit with limited space or is this something for a research paper?”

The answer always comes down to, “It could be either if I just condense the information enough.”, which I’m not actually sure is true, or if it’s just my ambition talking.

The doubts in my mind about the theme I did choose make me wonder if the other was better to go with.

But would I have felt the same way if I’d chosen differently? Would I still be wondering if another choice would have been better?

Honestly, probably.

I think a lot of students can relate to that hesitance and conflict when trying to come up with innovative ideas while balancing manageability, but still impressing our professors, mentors, and supervisors.

Right now, I feel like I’m not an expert or totally concrete on everything I’m bringing to the table on Sunday, and that is what has me feeling so pressed.

But I’m trying to be satisfied with what I have gathered. I feel like one is always left wondering, “Is this enough? Should I look more into this or that? What if I missed something?”

I think one of my biggest issues is prioritizing information and sources. For example, I might look at 3-4 sources for one thing, and then repeat that for any other bits of information that seem pertinent. By the end, I’m left with 15 sources for 3 things and still wondering whether what I have is credible either factually or because the source was a “.com”. (That’s why I try to be so transparent about the sources I use to write even my blog posts - so readers can judge for themselves and potentially make me aware of bad sourcing/information.)  

Still, what I have is what I have and I’ll be presenting it this weekend!

I’m putting it together in a nice little flowchart using Lucidchart.com. Not sure yet how I will present it, whether printed or a USB, but probably both formats just in case.

I think I have the topic I want to write about next week and I hope that it leads to honest discussions, even if not in the comments section.

Thanks again for sticking with me and my journey!

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #history intern blog #public history internship #history #education #student internship #student life #college student #university life #college student life #internship #museum internship

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Internships and

One thing I love about internships is that they are like sample jobs. It’s like shopping around, seeing what you like and what you don’t, what you can tolerate and what is overwhelming.

For example, no matter what it is, I love gathering and organizing information. I also have, as I like to think most people do, a love-hate relationship with technology; it simplifies so many tasks while a lot of the time being itself a complication. I reluctantly accept its ever-growing presence in daily life, leading me to my interest in digital history and spaces. When I think of my career in Public History, I only see technology becoming more and more central to the field.

But, what is “Public History”?

To be honest, as an Interdisciplinary Studies major, I feel like a stranger in the discipline. In fact, I have only a surface-level understanding of it. I just know that I like history, I liked what I did at my last museum internship, and I want to enter a community-facing graduate degree program and career.

According to the National Council on Public History:

“[P]ublic history describes the many and diverse ways in which history is put to work in the world.  In this sense, it is history that is applied to real-world issues.”

What attracts me to the field is how broad it is in terms of means and ends. As an interdisciplinarian, flexibility is important to me.

When I think of “public history” I think of public landmarks and those who work to preserve that status.

I think of documentaries and the untold stories they can reveal.

I think about podcast series and the intimacy that they can bring between interviewers, guest speakers, and listeners.

I think of museum exhibits that aim to engage and educate diverse audiences.

I also think about digital databases and archives that give access to those who aren’t local to an organization or institution and couldn’t access it otherwise.

Public history is so much more than that, however. The American Historical Association cites careers in publishing and editing, as well as consulting and contracting, and even non-profit.

When I think of my career in public history, I see myself doing something in the former paragraph and I like the idea of non-profit work.

My capstone course for my Interdisciplinary Studies program is teaching us to view career goals in terms of mission statements. If you’re not familiar with it, capstone courses are like the close-off to a degree program, oftentimes focusing on compiling your work and packaging it p for grad school or a career after graduating. That’s why you take it the same semester you graduate.

So, this is what I came up with for my mission statement:

“I want to help diversify the pool of knowledge by advocating for the visibility of under-recognized populations.”

This is exactly what I wrote for the discussion post asking us to come up with one.

I would add to it now (it’s been a couple of weeks now since then):

 “…while engaging with the community through a public-facing graduate degree program and career.”

I want to emphasize positioning myself as a bridge between people and education, with a goal toward the accessibility and diversification of these materials and spaces.

This could be through museum work: curating, archiving, and collaborating on exhibit design. Here I can produce work that is accessible to the public and manage collections to make archives easier to navigate, especially online. I can find the information that will inform an exhibit and maybe someday hold an important enough position to choose how to expand a collection and participate in the selection process.

This could also be done through school counseling and administration (preferably in higher learning). I could not have come this far without the support and guidance of faculty advisors at UCF, and I’d like to extend that gratitude by motivating other students.

Most of the time these faculty members’ jobs don’t stop at the advice. They collaborate within their department or school to engage students across campus and connect with the wider community.

… As you can see, my capstone course has had me thinking about a lot concerning my career and academic plans.

So many things changed so drastically earlier this year that, though I tried to pivot my plans and felt sure, in the midst of all this self-reflection, I’m finding myself wandering again.

I’ll be back next week with some more updates!

Thanks for keeping up 😊

#public history intern blog #internship blog #history student #education #history intern blog #interdisciplinary studies

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Teen Lit Boom: Did the 50s Change Everything?

To keep things a little interesting, I want to share a bit about what I’ve been reading this week.

As I’m putting together a timeline from literature I’ve reviewed so far for the exhibit, I stumbled across the topic of teenagers, specifically the social construction of that category, and how that affected literature in the decades following the 1950s.

Before I came across a Smithsonian Magazine article today (Monday, September, 4th), the topic had come up in a random discussion with my husband about my thoughts on another work I was reading for the exhibit’s research.

The gist was that I had just read about a rise in complaints about books in schools in the 1970’s while another piece talked about the rise of Young Adult (YA) literature around the same period. I said something like, “It makes sense that it would be around that time because around the 50s is when modern teenage-hood was normalized.”

By this, I meant things like social hierarchies and milestones that US American culture is familiar with – love, sex, school, social pressures, substance use, and thoughts of rebellion. How that manifested decade to decade is beside the point.

And I should clarify, I made this statement on the assumption that the 50s was a decade of all sorts of socially constructed norms that would define US “American” culture; That the children and teens of these times would go on to write the YA novels that would deeply identify with the real-life challenges experienced by teenagers.

The Smithsonian article sort of confirmed this assumption for me, but here’s what they traced:

The “teenager” demographic arose around “… the late 1930s to early 1940s…”  after “…first appear[ing] in print in… September 1941…”. And the social as well as consumer class was pretty much solidified throughout the 40s as all sorts of entertainment outlets began to cater to them.

It’s important to note that around the same time, librarians were starting to use the term “young adult”, paving the way for the genre to boom in the 70s.

The author of the article, Michael Cart, points to the fact that there could not be a “young adult” genre were the distinction not made.

So, thinking about what happens in 2-3 decades (40s, 50s, 60s) and the development of the teenage sub-culture, it would make sense that by the 70s there would be writers with enough relatable content and understanding of the evolution of teenage-hood by then to translate it into intimately accurate novel depictions.

Cart argues that YA books before the late 1960s were unrealistic and sanitized, even “formulaic” tales of teenage-hood; That what emerged throughout the 70s was “real”; what opponents would call “obscene”.

Let’s look at two pioneers of the YA genre, before its official emergence as a category, Judy Blume and S.E. Hinton. Cart credits Hinton as being one of the first two authors to initiate the pivot toward more realistic teen experiences with her novel, The Outsiders. She was born in 1948, making her a 60s teen. 10 years before that, Judy Blume, one of the most well-known and contested YA authors, specifically “chic lit.” writers, was a 50s teen, placing them both within that era of constructing modern teenage norms.

Why do I say, “the 50s”? Why did I single out that decade? Because it follows the end of the 2nd World War, marking the return to a sense of normalcy and stability, giving society the chance to find its rhythm. Not that everything had suddenly settled because part of that national identity construction was shaped by the ongoing fight against communism both overseas and domestically.

The push to form an ideal society in the midst of fighting against real and at times imagined communist threats made conformists and rebels of everyone. From this, I believe the modern teenager was born. Instead of worrying about a draft or working to help their family make ends meet, more young people were going to school, molding the teen culture we see replicated in popular culture.

The type of YA novels that started coming out after S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders depicted the at times graphic realities of teenage life in a way that they had not until then. They met readers where they were and didn’t idealize or sugarcoat their experiences.

I think this is because life had changed. Expectations had changed. So, the way to write about it needed to change, too.

If you have another take on this, please feel free to respond to this and teach me something new!

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it 😊

Below is a link to the article I referenced throughout this post:

#public history intern blog #internship blog #history student #education #public history internship #history intern blog #history #literature #literary history #50s #60s #70s #ya literature

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Rejected Ideas Lead to Better Things

The best mentors leave the learning to the student.

A simple question as feedback to redirect or refresh the student’s thought process, like a seed… a thought seed that grows into an idea or ideas.

In my last post, I was left contemplating theme options for the museum exhibit. I took my mentor’s feedback:

Ambitious, broad, a lot…

I was in complete agreement. Just the thought of trying to accomplish any of what I originally was overwhelming.

While I didn’t scrap them altogether, I did put them aside and tried to brainstorm from a blank slate.

Cramming some reading on Tuesday and Wednesday, in case Hurricane Idalia knocked the power out, a new idea finally came to me and I couldn’t wait to share it on Thursday when campus operations opened back up.

She liked it! She said we could run with it for now and see where it takes us! It was so exciting to read that.

One of my biggest struggles is editing myself down and setting realistic goals, or ones appropriate to the circumstances.

One challenge of majoring in interdisciplinary studies is learning to focus one’s perspective on a manageable scope.

Narrowing it down has saved me so much on unnecessary research and I can't wait to share some of it later this week!

Thanks for staying with me on this journey :)!

#history student #internship blog #public history intern blog #public history internship #history intern blog

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

Halfway Through Week 2

Hey world!

If you’re reading this, thank you for staying tuned on my adventures as an intern with the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida!

Last week was our first week back in session so things are slow, and I have very little to report on as far as progress in my internship.

I did put together a bibliography of the sources I’ve currently gathered for my research for the exhibit. I think I found a good variety of books, journal and news articles, and interview transcripts.

My mentor thought my bibliography was a great start, which was super encouraging because the last time I put one together for a project I overthought it so much it took me a month to finish.

One thing about me is I’m easily enthralled with investigative topics. Learning more about something only makes it more fascinating to me, so I am already invested in what I’ve been reading about.

I’ve gotten so ahead of myself already that the only potentially negative piece of feedback I have received from her is to reel it in because what I proposed was a good setup for a paper, not a brief display! (lol)

(Also this is not a direct quote but it is the gist)

This is not the first time I have been told my idea is “ambitious” for the project at hand, but I think for the first time I actually have the self-awareness to edit myself down.

The last time I remember being told this was when I was coming up with my Undergraduate Thesis topic of research. I unfortunately had to give that experience up for personal health reasons but looking back, the burnout I experienced was partially due to the ambitious expectations that I set on myself for it.

So, I got back to my mentor with some ideas I’ve had but since I’ve only just started to touch the literature, I don’t have a clear idea of how I want to present the information or exactly what to present on yet.

She’s been guiding my thought process with questions but with the incoming hurricane and my lack of direction at the moment, she agreed that for now, my vague and broad ideas are also a good start to outlining the exhibit.

Since this is my graduating semester, I’ve also been working on a Capstone course for my Interdisciplinary Studies degree program and a personal statement for a grad school application. I’m admittedly overwhelmed trying to figure out how to balance all these directions I’m being pulled in while prioritizing my top 2 commitments: This internship and Graduating! 

That is all I’ve got for this week. Hopefully, I have more to share for my next post!

I’ll be trying to get these out around mid-week to give myself time to reflect and edit before their official due date (Fridays).

Thanks for following along and I promise these will get better 😊

#public history intern blog #history intern blog #internship experience #personal record #internship blog #internship #history student #public history student

[lgbtq-history-museum-cfl-intern]

New Internship, New Blog

Hello Internet World!

My name is Marena 😊

 I’m a senior in the Interdisciplinary Studies Undergraduate Program at the University of Central Florida (UCF), minoring in History, Latin American Studies, and Spanish.

I’m back to take you all through my latest internship journey with the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida (see link below)😊

Last year, for my previous internship blog (see link below), I was working as a research assistant and married to the idea of becoming a university professor.

However, due to a sudden decline in my health in late Spring of this year, (from health complications due to exacerbated pre-existing conditions from burnout), I had to reconsider my career path, this time truly considering my capacities and limitations, lifestyle, and passions, with my career interests.

As a student living with many health conditions, I had to learn to prioritize and accommodate those needs, including how I could remain in the realm of public learning spaces.

 I thought back to my time interning at the Orange County Regional History Center (OCRHC) in Downtown Orlando and the awesome experience of working with the collections department that summer. Since then, I’ve always said I want more working experience with museum collections, but I concluded, “Instead of it being a stepping stone toward a professorship in history, why not make it the destination?”

And that is how I came to embrace a career in …well… something in museum collections?

…or more broadly speaking, Public History, and I’ll explain why that distinction is important to me for now.

This brings me to my current internship with the LGBTQ History Museum!

This experience will be unique because although I’ve had an internship with a museum before, this is a virtual museum! However, they were recently provided a humble space for live exhibits at a local LGBTQIA+ community resource center, The Center, at their Orlando location.

I will be working with new (for me) digital tools and formats to research, design, and create their next exhibit. I’m not really sure how much I’m allowed to share about it right now about the upcoming exhibit but their current exhibit, Central Florida and the 1980s AIDS Crisis: A History, came together over about a year to a year and a half as one idea became a paper which became a blog post and evolved into their debut live exhibit.

I learned this from one of the Board members I met when I visited the exhibit on its opening night. Those who attended were so friendly and welcoming. I look forward to collaborating with them this semester after meeting them, getting a feel for their dynamic, and seeing the work they put together. I know I will learn a lot from their mentorship and experience as we organize the next one!

Since I’m planning to graduate this December, I chose this internship to prepare me for a career in Public History with experience in the growing integration of digital tools and spaces in the field, as well as working on a collaborative project. I hope to take these skills with me into graduate school and my career.

While my research interests have not shifted, my approach has, and the project itself has taken a backseat until I can pursue it again, perhaps for a master’s thesis or a doctoral research project.

As a Public Historian, I’m still invested in the stories of local Puerto Rican women like me, and I want to contribute to collecting these stories. However, I also want to advocate for expanding the availability of other diverse local histories through my work in collections, archiving, oral history, or wherever Public History takes me.

The specificity of Public History is significant because, though I have a narrow idea of what I can do with the title and what sort of work is available, Public History is so much more than exhibits and museums.

It’s making knowledge and learning relevant and readily accessible to the community from designating/protecting local historical landmarks to speaking to local leaders on podcast episodes, to tackling local topics in a film documentary, or even documenting your journey and experience on a public forum such as Tumblr!

With that said, one of my internship requirements is to record my experiences through this blog, and this time I hope to experiment with posting audio files instead of written posts to try and familiarize myself with different tools and formats!

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading and I hope you stick around for the next few months 😊

Relevant Links:

The first will take you to the LGBTQ History Museum of Central Florida's Website!

The second is a link to my previous internship blog which covers some of my experience then as well as some research topics of interest that came up that semester!

#public history intern blog #public history intern #student internship #public history internship #public history #historian #history intern #internship blog #public historian #history student #undergraduate #undergraduate blog #undergraduate experience #museum intern #museum #museum internship #virtual museum