misadventureswithalexis

[misadventureswithalexis]

taking on the role of the better person

People have always told me, 

“You’re too kind.”

sometimes I believe them, sometimes I don’t. 

When people hurt me, I don’t have it in me to hold a grudge against them if they had to hurt me for their own good, or if they muster up the courage to come up to me and apologize wholeheartedly. 

Of course, I am human and have my limits when it comes to things like these, sometimes the best thing to do is cut that person off and go on with life.

I try to stay in good terms with most people in my life when we decide to part ways. Friendships, family or a lover from the past. As we grow older, we later understand how we can all be mature with the end of relationships (platonic or not,) that we can all find a way to get along, or converse normally without the baggage of the past holding us back. It is the way life goes, plus doesn’t it feel better deep inside not to have this growing seed of dislike for someone just because of a tiff from the past?

Even with this, not everyone handles it this way. I try to handle it like this, as I have matured and learned not to let the past hold me back from building connections with people. Life’s too short to spend it talking smack about someone who did you dirty in the past after all.

It is funny though, the amount of people who have came up to me and told me,

“Wow, you’re so nice. Even after people do you dirty like that, you still manage to not talk shit about them.”

This is basically the whole context of what people tell me, with some words rephrased but the meaning of their statements never change. This would always be followed up by a question of how I do it.

It’s so easy, so easy to let our emotions get the most of ourselves. To just go off, social media has simplified so much for us that often forget how powerful of a tool it is––that there are so many consequences to our actions if we aren’t careful.

It’s so easy to let anger, frustration and sadness consume us. In some cases, we can even grow to love these negative emotions. What we can do is choose not to let it take over.

Whenever I feel upset about something, I avoid social media as much as possible. Or just try to make it seem like things aren’t as bad as they are. Rather than posting about the crappy treatment I received, I’ll look for a bit of positivity that will inspire me and allow me to make something great about the situation instead. Perspective isn’t entirely everything, though it does play a key part to how we handle situations. 

I try to remember the good times, as stupid as that may sound. But I convince myself, that we are advised to sleep on decisions as we shouldn’t make them when we are upset. Yes, people can hurt you but before you felt all this pain, you were once happy with this person too. Like when we were kids, we always have fun first. We ride our bikes, we run and play tag laughing and smiling throughout it and all of the sudden–––we’re falling and crying over a bleeding wound or a bruise from a hard crash. Pain always comes after the happiness.

If I didn’t want anyone to do it to me, I shouldn’t do it to anyone else. If they did that to me, that doesn’t make it okay for me to return the favor in this case.

Emotionally speaking, it’s healthier to displace your negative emotions elsewhere. Sadness makes you a great writer, so I write when I’m sad and keep it in a safe space, where it’s not accessible to the world––whether it be my own thoughts or my journal.

At the end of the day, we just have to ask ourselves if it really is worth it to hurt someone back only because we’ve gotten hurt.

If there’s any worthy advice I can really give (as most of this just ended up as my way of seeing the situation) it would be,

“Every encounter with someone is a lesson, the people who leave are just signs that the lesson is over, and the people who continue to stay are proof that there’s still more that we need to learn from them.”

#personal #personal blog #my works #creative writing #advice #life

[misadventureswithalexis]

About Me !

Hello lovely people of the internet!

My name is Alexis, I’m 18 and I’m a self-proclaimed writer (lol)

Truth is, I’m not even sure if I am worthy of being called a “writer” as I have never really have my works published (besides my high school newspaper of course.)

I started writing when I was pretty young. It started off by being inspired by this TV show, “As Told By Ginger.” I just thought it was cool how Ginger could tell stories just by writing about her life in her diary and she can look back at them. So, I made myself a makeshift diary with ruled paper, poked holes on the sides and secured it with yarn. It started off with random things like what happened at school (at the time, I think I was in 1st grade but I can’t remember exactly) and whatever I had for lunch after school. Little things like that, and from there it grew.

I became a bit more serious about my writing around 7th grade, it wasn’t anything special still though I enjoyed it enough to keep writing. I wrote about everything, from things going on at home to boys I had crushes on to my dreams for the future. That’s around the time I was encouraged by a friend of mine to go on tumblr, later on I made a personal blog and here we are now!

I’ve never felt like my works were worthy of a big audience, but I’ve always had this desire to share my works with the world. They may not be the best but I felt like my voice needs to be heard by the world.

My writing started purely because I wanted to write stories. It grew to a creative outlet where I could better express myself. In my pre-teens, from a confident, loud and open kid I grew to become awkward and my confidence was slowly drained from me as I was bullied. I couldn’t properly express myself and felt alone, so I went to writing instead. It had helped me through the darkest times of my life and I’ve stuck with it like it did with me since.

Besides writing, I also have a continuously growing affinity for the arts. I love music, I grew up listening to jazz and blues at home. I spent most of my childhood at church, singing for the children’s choir. I tackled in a lot of segments of performing arts; from classical piano to singing and even drama itself.

I was in a lot of acting projects, I mostly did it in school. It became more serious when I moved to America in my sophomore year of high school. I took an intermediate drama class in my junior year and advance drama in my senior year, most of my time off class would be spent in rehearsals. I’ve always enjoyed performing so despite the fact that it had nothing to do with my future aspirations, I kept acting. If given the chance to continue it in college, I would continue to take acting classes like I did in high school.

Which brings us to this, I’m currently an incoming college freshman this fall! I’m majoring in Biology and minoring in Psychology. In the near future, I want to become a pediatrician. I’ve always dreamt of being a doctor, as I was a sickly child growing up and my pediatrician at the time gave that little sickly girl hope. I’ve still got a long way to go to get there but I am excited to take the first step towards my future. 

So there’s that, a whole lot of information about me. Thanks for reading this ‘til the very end. I feel like my writing can say a lot more about me than these things I thought about myself at the top of my head though lol. If you have any questions about anything at all, send me a little something in my inbox. 

I have a whole lot more in store for you and I can’t wait for you to read all of it!

L’amour Toujours,  Alexis.

#about me

[misadventureswithalexis]

a sense of inadequacy.

I’ve talked to people, maybe some with the intention of starting something new again. Some just for the thrill of getting to know someone new. Nothing seems to hit me the same way that talking to him had previously did. A part of me longs to find a similar connection, like the one I felt when I was with him. 

I can’t help but feel like I’m never going to find anyone else. In the span of my previous relationship, there were days where I felt like I deserved better. Though, I gave him the benefit of the doubt instead and told myself that I shouldn’t ask for too much. We were both new to the relationship itself and we weren’t sure if we were both doing things right, as it was a process of trial and error to figure out both parties’ wants and needs. 

Even with the knowledge that I didn’t truly get everything I deserved in the relationship, I can’t help but be filled with this sense of inadequacy. I felt like I’ve just let go of such a great person, and as much as he was a diamond in the rough of a partner, he was trying his best for my sake and I felt like that was enough. More than enough on some days, it felt great to know that someone was trying their best to please you, to make you happy. And maybe, that’s all that I did need.

I don’t miss him anymore. But I feel so uncertain about my future partner. I know too well that I shouldn’t settle for less, that I should find someone who wants the same thing as I do. Someone who’ll fill me with certainty when I’m filled with doubt. Someone who will never get tired of reminding me that he will stay, even after seeing how broken I truly am on the inside. I know that, I do, but a seed of doubt had found its’ way to my heart, making me feel like there’s no one else out there who can be that person for me.

#journal entry #love #not enough #personal #personal blog #my works #post break up #relationships

[misadventureswithalexis]

the promise.

a year ago from today, I wouldn’t have thought this was possible.

I’ve never imagined my future like this. Before all of this, I pictured it differently.

The year is 2028. I’d be out of medical school. 2 years into my residency. I got offered a job in my dream workplace, the USC Pediatrics Ward. At the end of the day, I’d go home to the very first place I invested for myself. A penthouse in Los Feliz, a home I share with my 3 puppies. Every weekend, I’d check on my parents in Pasadena. The biggest investment I’ve ever made that I’m still paying off. My Mom would be in the kitchen, the tiffany blue kitchen she always dreamed of having with granite counters. She would be baking something because she knew I’d be coming over for lunch. My Dad would be in his man cave, watching basketball. My student loan is paid off, but I still have some savings that’ll be more than enough to help me get by.

That was how I pictured it before. My life in 10 years, as I hoped it would be last year. Now things are different.

This is how I’d picture it now.

My job situation may still be the same, as well as the situation with my parents –– that part hasn’t changed. 

But I’d come home to something different. A 1-bedroom home located somewhere in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Somewhere surrounded with nature, where you can see a great view the moment you gaze out the window. When I open the front door, our little puppy would welcome me home happily wagging his tail. Our cat would just stare at me blankly and go back to her business.

And he’d be there, in the kitchen. His back facing me, as he takes out plates and glasses out of the cupboard to set the table for dinner.

I’d quickly walk over to him, tip-toeing to give him a kiss on the cheek. He’d laugh, asking me how long I’d been home for. I’d tell him, not long. We’d set the table together, eat the dinner that he made because it was his turn to cook. Then afterwards, he’d let me use the shower first.

I’d go into our bedroom. The walls filled with pictures of us over the years. From our very first photo that we took together, a polaroid of us when we first started dating. Young and yet to know about the real challenges ahead of us, smiling happily. Countless polaroids over the years from the first date to the hikes we went on together. The most recent one, our engagement photoshoot. There’s still a spot saved for our wedding photos, that we’ll be taking sometime in Spring, a month before our actual wedding day.

And he’s there, comfortably positioned in bed. Wearing a pajama shirt with the buttons undone. Reading a book, his laptop charging by his bedside table. I go under the covers, positioning myself right next to him. He pulls me close to him, still focused on reading. He puts his book down, then we talk about our day. I cuddle up to him and look up to him. His face really had matured over the years, the same boy I love who grew to be older and wiser. Then we reminisce about our past, how we’ve gotten this far. We were both naive, but managed to grow together. It feels just like yesterday that we had our first date over coffee. And in a matter of weeks, we would be married. A dream come true for the both of us. 

Then slowly, we fall asleep in each other’s arms, looking forward to the next morning only to wake up to each other’s “good morning.”

–– the promise. journal entry; february 17, 2018.

#creative writing #writing #personal #personal blog #journal entry #relationships #future #marriage

[misadventureswithalexis]

I love seeing people around me try to get theirselves back up again after a rough fall, and witnessing their struggle. It makes me feel proud, knowing that I’ve believed them long enough and that they’ve found a purpose to keep going.

As a friend, all I can do is support them in however way I can and believe in their capabilities, and see change within them. It’s empowering, inspiring and beautiful.

Whether it’s giving up a bad habit or making a tough decision, big or small accomplishment, it’s worth celebrating for. Being the witness of this makes me feel like a mother of a child starting to mature.

We should all learn to acknowledge each other’s accomplishment whether big or small. Don’t discourage others from making a decision that will hinder their growth as a person, even if it does end up hurting you at some point. Let people grow, let them make mistakes and correct them. Let them become better versions of themselves. And if they need you, be the one person to tell them that they are capable of doing what they are aiming to do.

Allow them to feel passionate about something, to learn and to explore beyond and when they’re in doubt, be there to tell them “You’ve come this far, why give up now?”

–– Journal entry, April 14th, 2017.

#personal #writings #journal entry

[misadventureswithalexis]

A Production for the Books

“Get here by 6pm sharp.”

“Call time is 5′o clock. Cast call and notes at 6:15.”

“Text the stage manager if you’re going to be late.”

I set the alarm 15 minutes prior to rehearsal times. I go to school with the mindset, “Get everything done before rehearsals” and I got by with it somehow. I get home at 9pm, sometimes at 10, sometimes at 11. I get home physically tired, but fulfilled and with a sense of achievement.

But the production itself was more than just rehearsals, more than just music and more than just putting up a great performance. It was working with different people, it was overcoming obstacles together and a learning process.

I love performing, and I love the feeling that comes with it. The moment I walk out towards the stage, I’m no longer “Me”. I’m a new person living a dfferent life with a completely different point of view. And it’s great, it’s a process that I fall in love with over and over again.

This wasn’t the first musical I’ve worked on. But the way this musical had struck me was different from how the others did.

It was different, a good different of course. Although, looking back at it now, it seemed as if all of the preparation behind it all happened a week ago.

Around September, I remember my drama teacher mentioning the spring musical to my class. I know I’d be more than willing to do it the moment I saw it posted on our department calendar. But after the told us the title, I wasn’t as sure as I was before.

“Oh, so it’s you’re in town?” I was guessing that it was similar to West Side Story?

But then he corrected me, “No, it’s Urinetown. Like pee, URINE.” then he started scribbling the title on the whiteboard. Just a few minutes ago, everyone was whispering among themselves about auditioning. Silence followed form the same people, and the rest of the class continued.

At that very moment, I felt like everyone who was interested now shared the same thought.

“What is he thinking?!” 

Most of those who were interested, backed off. It was a normal reaction, and even I had doubts. The title itself is awful, and the whole musical is about pee? No thanks, I have better things to do than to sing about peeing.

I knew it was a bad idea, but I still auditioned and a handful of people from my class auditioned. I did it for the sake of gaining theatre experience. I had doubts, but I have no regrets.

It felt like my very first production all over again, only it felt like I was being paid to do what I was supposed to do. 

Rehearsals were intense. We were given one week for all the components of the show. Blocking. Dance choreography. Songs and Harmonies. Act 1. Act 2. Stage Tech.

I still remember seeing the whole set come together, It started with a platform then slowly it grew to be a complete set with buildings and stairs and it felt magical, and that actors weren’t the only ones who were working hard. 

There was a chip on everyone’s shoulder. The expectations of the people. But every single one of us was dedicated, and we loved the production enough to exert more effort than we would usually pull, we all made it work together.

My cast didn’t seem like strangers to me. They were open and weren’t afraid of letting others know what they think. I loved how everyone woud just hang out before or after rehearsals with each other. It just showed how close and comfortable we are with each other. There wasn’t seniority, whether we had a speaking role or not. Maybe this is what made it harder to part ways from everyone.

The production was the only thing that kept everyone together. Everyone came out from different places, sports, cheer, the dance team and from leadership groups. But at the end of the day, we all came home to the same place, the stage.

It’s officially been a week since closing night. My alarm still wakes me up from my nap at 6pm beause I’ve never thought of deleting it. The flowers from closing night are still placed in a mason jar filled with water even though they’ve already wilted. Whenever I talk to someone who was in the cast, I still say “see you at rehearsals” at the end of the conversation. On weekends, I wake up telling myself that call time is at 5pm, and that I need to be dressed by 4:30. It feels weird going home from school, knowing that I don’t have rehearsals at 6pm. I still feel guilty about listening to music other than the rehearsal tracks.

I think the only few great things about it ending is that I can say that I made it, through late nights in heaven and hell, I got through all of it. And that I can tell everyone how great this experience is, and how it changed me.

#personal #writings #urinetown #theatre arts

[misadventureswithalexis]

“I’d be such a fool if I didn’t love you”

Oh but darling, I am. I’m a fool.

I’ve been longing for a love just like the ones in movies. The type that would make you wish for one just by the sight of it, the type that’ll keep you warm for days. I was infatuated by the idea of it. I could only imagine how it would feel for someone to wrap their arms around me would give me security and free me from uncertainty.

But as cliché as they say, Be careful what you wish for.

Not everything we’ve ever longed for is something we’d truly need.

I yearned for him. The one who could fulfill these selfish, unrealistic hopes I’ve harbored in my heart. As much as I’d kept them, they were never visible to those around me. I felt foolish for having such fantasies – a guilty pleasure I had intend to keep in the dark, despite how candid I am about everything I desire.

However, I knew I was capable of making myself happy. I had people who would invest in me and would support me through everything. Yet, I still yearned for it – even if I had everything.

I didn’t want it – after all.

Someone who would spoil me as much as I’d want. Someone who would tell me everything I’d want to hear. Someone who would gladly hold my hand, someone special.

Someone –– who would love me. Oh, darling he was I had ever wanted, everything, everything and more. But darling, I was a fool. A naïve, careless fool.

#personal #love #easter parade #musical #judy garland #personal blog #poetry #prose #creative writing

[misadventureswithalexis]

s/o to all of the women marching today, as well as the ones who couldn’t make it, but whose thoughts still go out to this incredible movement

[misadventureswithalexis]

Irreplaceable.

Nothing’s permanent in this world, I think we all learned this the hard way.

I grew up not having what an average kid would have. It wasn’t that my parents couldn’t put a pipping hot plate of food on the dinner table everyday, it wasn’t that kind of void. However, I never felt like I was in a pitiful state. I had a family to go home to, and I enjoyed school and I was making friends too, a perfect life for a 5-year old kid. And in all honesty, I never knew what I was missing until someone told me what it exactly was.

I thought things would stay the way they are. I didn’t feel like I was missing anything, things seemed great just the way they are. But I was still very young, young and naive to understand certain things. Time never stops, people change and nothing is permanent in this world. Oh, how I wish I learned this earlier.

As I grew, I’ve made precious memories with people I hold dear. But they all leave, not all at once but gradually, painstakingly, in a rate where I can witness their presence dissipating from my life. They were once part of my daily life, but before I could pull them back in, they were gone.

I grew and learned that letting go is a part of life, and that people come and go.

I did learn, but that didn’t necessarily meant that it was easy to accept those facts. In fact, knowing the truth made it even harder to swallow.

Eventually, I’ve grown used to it, the pain doesn’t subside quickly but it remains. Every time someone would leave, a new person enters. It wasn’t easy seeing them leave, and some of them who choose to stay always seem to say the same thing.

“You’ll find someone new soon.”

But that wasn’t true – in fact, that was a lie. I don’t think they were aware it was, and neither did I, it took me awhile to figure this out.

Anyone could be your parents, your best friend, your lover, your brother. 

Those are just titles, anyone can bear a title. 

But you know what they can’t replace?

The memories you’ve made with those people. The highs and the lows, the moments that made you realize that this person is important to you – a moment that made you realize who this person is to you, and how they’ve became a part of you.

You can’t replace anyone in your life. Every single being that became a part of your life became a part of yourself too. An irreplaceable, rare gem you’ll never find in anyone else.

#writing #poetry #prose #creative writing

[misadventureswithalexis]

Thoughts Of A Broken Hearted Bystander At A Party.

What am I doing in a place like this in the first place?

I’ve convinced myself to think that being outside of the house and actually socializing would help me relax –– to think more rationally.

I’m overthinking everything — and it’s slowly driving me insane.

I’m sitting in a corner here, drinking – non alcoholic of course, hangovers would never make anything better anyways.

I see familiar faces all over the room. I’m even acquainted with some of them. I could talk to them if I wanted to, but my thoughts were pulling me back from doing so.

Instead,

Every few seconds, I check my phone, hoping for a sign, a text or even a notification from you.

Hoping for something, something that would keep my hopes up. Hoping for something that won’t ever come.

I knew I wouldn’t suddenly just get a notification from you wanting to see me, or wanting to talk to me, or interacting with me in any way. 

I know, I know!! 

Yet, I still wait.

Someone came up to talk to me, of course I responded. Small talk was exchanged.  But the tiniest details that would trigger a memory with you had always made me drift back to my thoughts again.

Thus, the cycle repeats itself.

More and more people come up and talk to me, some of them even acquainted with you. Somehow, we end up talking about our memories with you. I felt like I’m telling him too much. It wasn’t that I disliked talking about you, in fact I enjoyed exchanging conversations about you. But a part of me was telling me to stop, I wanted to keep the “you” I knew to myself. The “you” who would pull me close when I’m so close to crying, or the “you” who would be willing to walk miles with me, carrying half of my books as we exchange conversations that don’t make sense half of the time.

After I talked with him, we exchanged goodbyes. He said we’ll talk again soon. He gave me his number. He was hitting on me.

But I doubt that I would ever want to talk to him about anything else but you. He was good looking, with a tall figure and a nice head of hair. Maybe I would even be more excited about this encounter if I wasn’t head over heels for you.

He had charisma, but it didn’t work on me. Nothing else works on me but you.

This brings me back to square one.

And I go through my day, going through this cycle too often that it scares me.

It scares me how important your existance is to me, how it can easily tear me apart but at the same make everything right again.

I was too dependent on you, too much that everything I did and the choices I make had to consider you as well.

But what scares me the most, is how I could lose myself and my sanity if you don’t feel the same way, and the way you react will change me, and my life.

#personal blog #personal #writings #creative writing #soft grunge

[misadventureswithalexis]

Life doesn’t stop for anybody.

I know it’s been a tough week for you, or has it been hard for you for the past couple of days? I’m so sorry, It’s hard to be optimistic when you’re alone, and when no one can understand how you feel. 

But you aren’t completely alone. There are people who hold you dearly. They watch over you from the sidelines, and encourage you, and throughout this period of time, they wouldn’t hesitate to lend their shoulder to you.

Let yourself feel everything, don’t let this little storm ruin the rest of your days. If you think something’s funny, laugh. If you think something is upsetting, be upset. Don’t stop yourself from living life.

Life doesn’t stop for anybody. Whatever’s bringing you down to the blues, will never stop the dates from changing. Time will move forward, and you have to move forward too. Leave the past behind. Everyday is a new day, and it’s always a chance to make a difference. 

It’s hard to move on, trust me. We’ve all been there at one point. But no one’s going to help you stand up but yourself. They can only watch from the sidelines and cheer you on. People will break you and leave you at your worse, but only you can pick yourself up get yourself together.

You’re going to feel hopeless at some times. There will be nights when you’d cry yourself to sleep, and wake up with swollen eyes and force yourself to get through the day feeling like a mess.

It’s gonna be hard. It’s going to be painful. It’s going to take some time. You might even say this will be one of the worst days of your life. 

But you know what?

It’s going to get better. Maybe not right now, but it will be before you know it. It’s going to be one hell of a memory a few months from now. It’ll be something you’d look back and just laugh about, because you will get over it, you can get over it.

It’s going to be worth it. The tears you’ve shed, the sleepless nights, the bloodshot mornings. The days you’d force yourself to get through your day. 

They’re all going to be proof that you’ve became stronger. That you had never given up when you’re at your worse. 

That you’ve became better. a better you.

#motivation #moving on #personal #personal blog #life #quotes #enlightenment #heartbreak #loss

[misadventureswithalexis]

I really love the way you write, hehe keep it up (:

thank you so much ❤️

[misadventureswithalexis]

Not bad for a first at DTASC

I loved acting. It was something I didn’t realized that I loved doing ‘til I was older. I would always unconsciously do it. Like how I would watch cartoons as a child, and dress up like them, and pretend to be them. I always found role-playing as a fun game. 

Of course, growing up I tried to participate in anything that had relations with theatre. I was a bit shy growing up, although I could be loud and confident if I wanted to. But I was also naive and mellow, thinking that nothing could ever get in my way of me doing what I want to do. I loved acting, but I also had gotten discouraged and somehow, I find myself coming back to it every time. There was a time where I joined a community play with my sister. Halfway through rehearsals, I quit because I got discouraged. Years later after that, I still ended up being on stage performing.

It was something I couldn’t let go that easily. Like sure, I can stop now but I’ll come back to it like I’ve never stopped.

In my previous school, they never really invested in the arts. I transferred into that school in hopes of fulfilling my stagestruck dreams. But it seems like no one harbored love for theatre arts like I did. That didn’t stop me from going through with it. I made sure to secure myself for big acting roles in school projects, it wasn’t much but it had given me the fulfilling sensation that I would feel as I act out a different person than I was.

I transferred schools once again. When I saw “Drama” being an elective choice, I didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity. I felt a sense of belonging the day I walked into the Theatre Arts, Room 119. 

I saw a few familiar faces, and mostly foreign ones. I didn’t knew these people as much, but I already looked forward to working with them. I knew they didn’t just take this class for the heck of it. They took it because they wanted to. I finally found the place I belong, I thought in my head.

A huge bomb was dropped a week after. 

“We’re joining DTASC this Fall.”

Everyone was laughing just before my Drama teacher said this. The air in the room grew tense.

What was DTASC? That word was foreign to my vocabulary. What did it mean? 

Why did everyone grew silent after he said this? 

Turns out, that it was a fall festival, and a state competition.

I grew nervous once he said “state competition”

Sure, I loved acting. I felt confident with my acting skills and I knew I always had room for improvement. But was I ready for this? I loved acting, It never felt like a chore to me but was I ready to compete? Ready to act for the sake of getting good comments from the judges and not for the fun of it?

Preparations for DTASC started shortly after that, even before I could answer the questions that have been formed in my head. I felt lucky that I was grouped with people who were skilled and had so much experience with acting, but at the same time I felt frustrated, and I felt like I would be holding them down. There was also something that made me get cold feet. Knowing that we were in such a competitive category : Musical.

The idea of it was completely new to me. We had to sing in aca pella. No costumes, the only props we had were 4 chairs. And what’s more is we had to summarize one whole musical in 8 minutes. How was that even possible? I can barely sum up an essay in one sentence!!

We rehearsed everyday in class, we got a vocal coach, we made choreography, incorporated the chairs in our performance. We knew it was a losing battle, for all we know we could face all theatre schools in the first round, but that didn’t mean that we would stop trying. It was my first year of drama in this school, but it didn’t take me long to realize how important this competition was to everyone, and long enough it became as important as it was to them as it was to me.

We worked hard,and as the days grew nearer to DTASC, one of us eventually blew a few fuses, went on streaks of cussing (FYI the streak went up to 11) and sometimes we even took the criticism we got personally. But eventually, I learned that it was okay. Knowing how stressed out and pressured we were only meant that everyone took this competition seriously. We weren’t in it to win but everyone shared the same thought : to put in the best performance we can ever put out there. 

The long-awaited (also dreaded) day came eventually. It was cold in the morning. I was nervous, but I looked forward to what I could possibly experience in DTASC. I was scared, I could only imagine how people would see our performance, compared to the other performances.

But I was excited, for the endless opportunities. What if we had someone who was also going to do the same musical we did? How would they interpret it? What kind of performances would I see? It was exciting to think that theatre kids from different schools would be there, the kind of people that share the same love for theatre arts like we did. 

We didn’t go to the venue for the first round in time. We got lost, we had to run with our chairs, one of us even got chased by a puppy in the process. Looking back at how we reacted with so much profanity was hilarious. But it was a huge mess if you were there in that very moment. 

We didn’t make it to semi-finals. After all, our worst fear just came true, which was going up against theatre schools in the first 2 rounds. But it was fine, because after we performed, we just had so much fun. We had the time of our lives. We weren’t as good as the rest, but we did have fun.

The time in between rounds were something we looked forward to. In between rounds, everyone would either be playing theatre games or jamming to theatre music (and mostly trap music)

Once you go to DTASC, one performance will stick to you. This is a guaranteed fact. Honestly, there’s this one performance of Cabaret still stuck in my system and now I still can’t get over it. It’s also guaranteed that you’ll have that time of the day when you’d just recall a scene of DTASC in your head. 

I never thought that I would have such a memorable experience at DTASC. It was so much fun, and If I could redo that day, I would. And if I had the chance to go to DTASC again, I absolutely would.

“The theatre...is not life in miniature, but life enormously magnified.”  - H.L Mencken

L’amour Toujours, Alexis 

#dtasc #dtasc2016 #dtascfallfestival #drama #theatrearts #highschool

[misadventureswithalexis]

Made cupcakes for the first time, everything was made from scratch. I'm kinda proud of this one 😋

[misadventureswithalexis]

Friends Come and Go

Digging through my stash of photos from back then, I certain photo had caught my attention. It was a photo from my 8th birthday party. One particular person had caught my eye, it was my childhood best friend from 10 years ago.I was only 6 when I met her. She moved in my neighborhood the summer of my 6th year. 

She was a year older than me, but that didn’t stop us from getting along. We were like two peas in a pod. We harbored a lot of the same interests. We both loved hanging out at each other’s houses. Playing dress up, drawing each other and even doing our homework together.

We were inseparable. Mom and her parents got along too. I could say that we were truly like sisters. We grew up together, we shared stories about everything, and we never kept secrets from each other. We talked about our future, moving in together, our wedding, anything and everything.

On my 12th year, my family moved to a different neighborhood. Our move was too sudden, that I didn’t even got to say goodbye to her. But we kept in touch, we tried. We were both busy and had our own lives to take care of. But eventually, we stopped exchanging messages, and that was the peak of our friendship.

10 years later, I’m 16 and she’s 17. She’s in college in my hometown. I’m in the US now, about to start my junior year in high school. So much had already happened for the past ten years. I grew up without her, and lived without her.

Back then, I never thought I would be independent enough. I’d always come running to her, and she would to me. We depended on each other, and complemented each other for making up for the other. And I suddenly found myself living without her, having fun, making memories, meeting new people and making new friends. 

This was the real definition of “friends come and go”, I thought. Suddenly, the “best friends forever” promises are suddenly invalid, and our friendship only lives upon our memories. From the time we first met, from the very first fight we had, to the birthdays we celebrated with each other. I still remember all those memories clearly. And they still live on in my heart.

When I was young, I thought it was the end of the world when me and one of my friends would fight. Sometimes we would even ignore each other for weeks. We fight for the silliest reasons and made up right away. As time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to swallow our prides and be the first person to apologize. 

As we grow older, we are taught to choose the friends we make, and the friends we keep and cut off. I didn’t understand that back then. I never thought cutting off friendships was an option. I never chose my friends, I wanted to be everyone’s friend.

But that wasn’t the case, I learned that later on. Not everyone is meant to be our friend. Not everyone stays, not everyone is meant to stay, nothing is permanent in this world, we need to let go of some people to make room for the new ones, and sometimes we need to let them go in order to let ourselves grow.

I’m a firm believer of “Everything happens for a reason”. The people who left my life had made me a better person, and I do believe that they’re gone for a reason. They need to grow too, that’s why they’re someplace else.

Friends come and go. Some remain for a long time, and some even leave our sight in a blink of an eye, they might not have stayed for as long as we wanted them to. But each one of them left a part of themselves to ourselves. They have each taught us a valuable lesson, or an impression that’ll lasts a lifetime. And that’s what makes us the person we are today.

L’amour Toujours, Alexis x

#best friend #friend #personal #writing #creative writing #mcdonalds #personal blog #writing blog

[misadventureswithalexis]

A Tourist In My Own Hometown : Nostalgic Wanderings

I never thought I would be back so soon.

Those were the thoughts that were settled on my mind on my 11-hour flight to Tokyo. Everything happened too fast. It’s truly a blessing, to be given the chance to visit my hometown after migrating to the US just a year ago from now. The news dropped on me like the bomb the US had dropped on Japan years ago during WWII. And I know that’s a lot of exaggeration, since it doesn’t seem much of a big deal. But a lot of things happened, and certain circumstances made it possible for me to go back to my motherland and stay for a few days.

A few minutes before the plane hand landed in Manila,  Everything had came back to me. The most significant memories all came back to me all of the sudden. The day when I found out that I could move to America, The day I left this country, my very first birthday without my Mom, the death of my grandmother, those kind of memories that had the most impact in your life. 

And I who was sitting alone in one row, suddenly chuckled. People in front of me or behind me might have thought I was insane. But I was laughing, thinking about how far I've came and this place reminded me how it all started. Having to travel alone had also made me see my progress. A year ago from today, I would even be too scared to go on a connecting flight. Somehow, thinking about the good old days made me realize that I’m taking my steps towards adulthood now.

I hailed a cab right away to ride to the next airport then texted My Mom, as I take a glimpseat the streets of Metro Manila, I quickly send my message to Mom. .

“It’s a mess here but it feels like home”

and it was true. It was completely different to the environment that welcomed me when I first got to LAX. It was disorganized, the weather conditions weren’t helping either. But even so, It felt like home.

When I got back from Naga, Me and My Dad had passed by the old neighborhood that I stayed in for 3 years. There were already so many new establishments. A new crowd, new houses & apartment complexes made. It had made me feel out of place, I took my pride in knowing about my hometown, and the place I've stayed at for my whole life. And being gone for a year and seeing such drastic changes had made me feel like it wasn't the same place, it was different.

It’s only been a year. But it’s already been a year. 

When I say “it’s only been a year” I’m saying it in terms of it not being a long period of time. But at the same time, “it’s already been a year” meaning a lot could have happened in a span of a year.

I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to in my hometown, but It did give me enough time to realize that nothing lasts' forever. As bitter as that did sound, that was the truth. Nothing stays the same, and maybe that's for the good of all. Seeing my hometown changed had made me realize how much I, too, had changed. I've grown, learned, stumbled a lot throughout this year and had made progress in my own pace. 

 My parents had always reminded me, and it was something that I always kept in mind. "Always remember where you came from." 

 I truly am proud to say that I have came from humble beginnings. I could never get most of the things I wanted, I could only get my needs in limitation. And I grew up without a lot of things a normal child would usually have. I'm proud to say that I deserve what I have today. I have gone through hell and back and here I am still standing on my own feet, alive and living. I've became stronger, wiser and more courageous than I could ever thought I could, and It truly is all thanks to my hometown. 

I wouldn’t be the person I am today, if It weren’t for the person I was yesterday.

L’amour Toujours, Alexis x

#personal #travel #hometown #nostalgia #nostalgic #writing #creative writing #blog #philippines #manila #bicol #makati

[misadventureswithalexis]

And another question,do you have any Jennifer E. Smith books?

Currently I have a copy of “This is What Happy Looks Like”. I had a copy of “The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight” which is now in the hands of my best friend. But I did read that book, and it had made me believe in love at first sight and made me see it’s greatness all over again