queen-of-writing-bad-things - Tumblr blog

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 1 month

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 7: Return Of The Kid

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

The kids had never seen her move so quick.

Seriously, (y/n) was like a cheetah. Or whippet. Or rocket. Or anything else that could cross the Man's Nest floor in the blink of an eye, becoming nothing but a blur as she flung herself at Henry Hart.

The Henry Hart. In the flesh. All fuzzy-haired, slightly scruffy, and lanky, but he was there. He was real--for the first time in weeks. And she squealed right in his ear as she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

The poor kid barely had time to react before his arms were pinned and chest crushed, laughing breathlessly as she squeezed his torso. Was it her, or had he gotten taller? Perhaps it was her imagination, but she barely peaked above his shoulders, and he felt skinnier, too.

Remind her to cook him something good, however long he stayed.

But, to Henry's happiness and possible regret, she wasn't the only one who wanted to latch on and never let go. Ray lumbered up behind his sweet girl, throwing those humongous tree trunks around her and his old friend to pull both of them against him.

Okay, now, neither of them could breathe, not that (y/n) cared. Oxygen meant nothing when she had her doofus and her precious baby under one roof. Nothing could ruin her mood, laughing and holding them without ever wanting to leave their little human sandwich. How sweet.

"My baby!" She cried, reaching up to stroke Henry's cheek as Ray rocked them back and forth. Maybe it was a bit of an overreaction, but they missed him. At least he'd come home in one piece.

"Ah, welcome back, buddy!" Ray sighed, too, thinking a hug had never felt so good as the boy patted his old boss awkwardly on the back. It was getting harder to breathe.

"Yeah..." he replied tightly, returning the pets to (y/n) 's head, who at least had stopped deafening him with her screeching. "Kinda tight there, guys..."

"Oh, Hen, we've missed you so much!" The heroine said with a beaming grin, pulling back to cup his cheek, studying his face. Despite his boyish smile, He looked more gaunt and drawn around his cheeks. "You look like you need some cookies! And pie! You said you wanted pie!"

"That was, like, two months ago, (y/n/n)--and oh, I think I heard a rib crack..." the boy groaned when Ray squeezed them again, ignorant of his heroic strength as he nuzzled past her hair to rest his forehead against him. Seriously...five years of friendship, and he'd never been this touchy.

"Oh, my baby..." But at least she was as thoughtful as ever, pulling back to give him a little space, slipping out from between them. Finally, he could breathe a little, flashing his not-sister a thankful smile, only for Ray to close the gap.

While (y/n) merely stood back and sighed at the image he made as one would admire a beautiful, majestic painting, the man refused to let go, hugging him even harder now that he didn't have to worry about smothering his sweet girl. By God, he'd missed this kid...

"It's gonna be more than one by the time I'm done with you!"

"Doofus, remember what we said about personal space?" (y/n) winced when her husband squeezed Henry's waist - kinda like a reverse Heimlich manoeuvre, only he was the reason for the boy's choked gasps.

Like a snapping turtle, he refused to let go, so she had no choice but to get the others involved, signalling for Danger Force to circle the two. They tried to prise the doofus off, tugging at those beefy arms as the poor kid struggled, but Ray was relentless, even when his beloved wife wrapped her arms around his shoulders and yanked.

"Do not make me get the crowbar!" Chapa growled as she took the opposite arm to Mika, trying to give Hen a little wiggle room.

"It's so nice to see a dude hug another dude..."

"Right?! Bring it in, man!" Miles sighed dreamily, and Bose nodded, pulling his friend into a tight hug with a huge grin, patting each other's back amicably. It was sweet and not life-threatening like Ray's, who wouldn't budge despite the girls' best efforts. Their attempts were useless, but luckily, old Kid Danger had a trick up his sleeve.

"It's okay--it's okay..." he panted, giving his old friends a reassuring smile, even as the hero nuzzled into his chest. "I got this, but you might wanna stand back."

Whilst she was a little confused, (y/n) nodded and guided Mika and Chapa to a safe distance beside the boys, leaving her lanky baby with enough room to push the hero away. The kids cried in amazement when a green force field burst from the young man's body, creating a barrier between him and Ray and sending the idiot flying backwards.

That was one way to get personal space.

"Hah! You hate to see it!" Miles cackled when he watched the dazed superhero land on his butt, clearly having forgotten about the gift his old sidekick received from the Omega Weapon. His force fields were the only reason why (y/n) allowed him to wander off to Dystopia alone.

Still, the kid had the good grace to offer a hand and help his old boss to his feet, holding nothing against him when Ray flashed a nervous smile.

"Sorry....got a little emotional there," he said awkwardly, straightening his jacket as his pretty girl wandered over and excitedly took his hand. She needed its anchoring weight - anything to remind her this wasn't a dream.

"Just, you know, you've been gone a long time, and... we've been so alone."

"Speak for yourself, Raymond," Miss Danger retorted dryly, noticing how the children gathered on the couch cleared their throats - a little offended. He was such a drama queen, giving his first sidekick the big goo-goo eyes like he hung the stars in the sky, making Henry chuckle. Oh, how he'd missed the guy's craziness...

"Quiet! We're talking to Henry!" Ray snapped to Danger Force as they coughed, making everyone roll their eyes.

"You big doofus..." (y/n) shook her head, squeezing his hand lightly before Ray wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Henry could tell that nothing was new there, seeing the same old lovebirds as he used to, only now they were settled into married life. Prepare for the grossness...

"Anyway, what are you doing back in Swellview? Not that we don't want you here, of course! You know you're always welcome!"

"I know, (y/n/n). I know..." Henry replied with a breathy laugh as she ranted hurriedly, glad she hadn't changed in the last few months. "My dad is graduating from Juilliard...dot com."

"No way, your dad's a moron! He couldn't graduate from online Harberd!" Ray scoffed, remembering Mr Hart with disdain and all the times his idiocy caused a disaster.

"Yeah, dude! He's so dumb!" The boy agreed without hesitation, laughing with the couple like old times before growing serious again. "No, I'm actually here to see you guys!"

That had (y/n) tearing up, Ray smiling fondly when her bottom lip trembled. She clutched at her chest, giving the bashful kid a wobbly smile as she tried not to burst into tears, but he made it so hard. She didn't realise how much she missed him until he stood before her, talking so sweetly.

"My little baby came right back to The Nest!" She exclaimed, sniffing a little before throwing her arm around his shoulders. "Give Mama Bird a big hug!"

"Just because it's you, (y/n/n)..." he sighed, never one to refuse her innocent requests, and besides, she was much gentler than Ray. He savoured the warm snuggliness, wrapping his long, gangly limbs around her body as she squeezed him softly, knowing he'd missed her, too.

"Best hugs in Swellview, am I right?" He remarked to Ray and Danger Force, who smiled and nodded gently, knowing he was right. No one could say no to (y/n) 's hugs, not even Chapa, and Ray petted his wife's hair as she relaxed in her dearest friend's arms.

"So, how's my old job?" He asked the kids, hoping to make small talk while she got the hugs out of her system. "You guys go on any sick missions?"

"Oh, man! Tons of missions!"

"So many!" Chapa and Mika exclaimed, much to the older boy's excitement. He wouldn't lie; he missed the old days, fighting crime without any true responsibility, so he couldn't wait to hear about how they'd continued his legacy.

"Yeah? Cool! Like what? Anything...dangerous?"

"We once caught a guy who was stealing books from the library!" The girl said happily, but out loud, it sounded lame, not precisely the thrilling, daring adventures Kid Danger had in mind. Like how he fought a bloodthirsty, living virus or went to space--that was cool.

"Okay, but I was kinda looking for some sick fights, though..."

"Ooh!" Miles gasped, his eyes lighting up like he had a great idea. "We once battled every bad guy in Swellview at the same time!" Now, that was more like it.

"Noice! What happened?!" Henry asked, liking the sound of an epic brawl between light and dark, much like he'd done when he was younger. Had he ever told them about the train fight debacle?

"Mika let them all out of prison!" Only when the kid responded was it like a punch to the gut.

"Wow...I kinda spent my whole childhood locking those guys up, so I can't wait to hear how you all caught 'em," he said nervously, patting (y/n) on the back and when shuffled a little close. She was milking this hug for all she could get, but he was more concerned about the rampaging villains on the loose.

"We didn't!"

"Sick twist! They're all still out there!" Bose announced happily, ignorant of how his predecessor's eye began twitching, frozen in place, and not because of the woman hugging the living daylights out of him.

"I imagine that some of them are out there committing crimes right now!" Chapa added, equally joyful at the utter shambles they made of their first mission.

Ray took that as his cue to jump in, not wanting to revisit that humiliating defeat. (y/n) pulled away from her baby as he brushed past them, smiling sourly at the clamouring children as they nattered away.

"All right! That ends your visit with Henry--he's ours now!" He said, batting his eyelashes at what he thought couldn't be a better sight - his beautiful girl and precious best friend.

"I enjoyed our time together!"

"Hey, so, uh, how's Dystopia? Do you need us to come help you?" Ray asked quietly, ignoring Bose's innocent comment, who returned to nibbling on his now-cold Nacho Ball. He was desperate to know, or rather, desperate to be needed, still smarting from how they parted on bittersweet terms.

"'Cause I will burn this whole thing to the ground, take my wife, and leave right now."

"Raymond!" (y/n) warned lowly as Danger Force loudly cleared their throats again, much to the man's anger. He'd never snap at her so causally, but those little maggots? He had no qualms...

"Keep it down! God, they're always here, it's like--"

"--Like we're their teachers, and they're our students?" His sweet girl butted in with a teasing smile, and this time, she put her arms around his waist in a light embrace. Ray sighed, never staying mad for long when she was in his arms, returning the enamoured look while the kids watched on.

"Little demons, more like..." Much to their wrinkled noses, the man dropped his head and kissed her gently, holding the back of her neck so it wasn't just a peck. They were goddamn shameless, smiling against each other's lips for at least ten seconds while they all grimaced.

"Oh, there it is...wondered how long it would take," Henry retorted, eyeing the age-old scene with a judgy stare, knowing it had been hopeless to think they would've found some decency.

No, they were as touchy as always, and when Ray finally pulled away, he smiled at his precious girl like she was the only one in the world.

"Can't help it, kid..." he said gently, kissing her briefly and gently a final time as the heroine hugged his lithe waist, her cheeks and ears pleasantly warm. "I'm in love with my wife."

"Gross..." he grumbled, having war flashbacks about all those times as a kid when he saw them canoodling...or worse. Technically, it was his fault; he'd brought them together, but they'd always felt the need to kiss anywhere and everywhere, only saved when a loud, blaring beeping noise and red flashing light filled the Man's Nest.

"Emergency call!" (y/n) gasped, and suddenly, it was go, go, go. Slipping out of Ray's clutches, much to his disappointment, she dashed over to the supercomputer with Mika and Chapa, eager to see what was going down.

"Oh, hey, hey, this is perfect!" The hero gasped once he got over the disappointment of losing his sweet girl's warmth, but only because he'd come up with a brilliant idea. "We can go on a mission! Huh?! Let's pop some gum and have some...fum!"

"You know I'm all about that fum, big dog..." his old sidekick replied with a nostalgic chuckle, fondly remembering their old antics in the Man Cave, but something wavered in his eye... "but, you know, everyone thinks Kid Danger is kinda--"

"Hot?"

"Dead?" Bose and Miles suggested, and their ideas were wildly different and alarming in their own unique ways.

"Exactly!" He nodded at Miles, much to Ray's disappointment. He'd hoped to relive their glory days...

"What's the emergency?" Chapa asked impatiently, as always, peering at the computer monitors as (y/n) tapped on the PearPads for more information.

"It looks like there's a brawl at the nail salon," she replied once she finally found it, and honestly, it didn't sound too terrible. Merely a light workout for the more experienced crime fighters on the team, and that gave her a bright idea.

"Oh, Hen, we could go kick some ass and then get our nails done! Just like old times! Remember? I used to take you there all the time when that doofus was busy."

"I didn't mean to..." Ray mumbled shyly, staring at his shoes as Henry laughed nervously. He'd never forget all those hours as they bonded over the smell of acetone and acrylic, laughing until their bellies hurt.

He recalled how he'd comfort the young woman when her idiotic best friend went on a date with another woman. Still, most of all, he remembered the pain of biting his tongue when she cried, thinking Ray would never love her. It felt like a lifetime ago, and part of him wanted to regain that happiness, but...

"I know, doofus... Tell you what, you can tag along and pick my colour," she replied kindly, fluttering her lashes at her husband before turning to the kid. "What'd you say, Hen?"

"Y-yeah, you know I'd love to watch Ray pick your colour, (y/n/n), but..." he replied, and she frowned at how fervently he shook his head. It was like he'd seen a ghost or the slightest thing would make him jump like a skittish deer. Strange...

"I've been dropping so many fools in Dystopia, I was thinking I could just, you know...kick it here for a while. Maybe eat some of your famous oatmeal-raisin cookies?"

"Yeah--yeah! Coolcoolocoolcoolcool! We'll just kick it here, right, sweet girl? I was thinking the same thing!"

"I guess I'll get baking..." the woman said hesitantly, her Tummy Tingle telling her something wasn't right. She sensed danger, or at the very least, lies...but she couldn't quite pin them yet.

"That's my girl! Guys, why don't you handle this one yourselves?" Ray suggested, creating an excited buzz throughout the room, but it only deepened (y/n) 's frown. Looking at her students - her fresh-faced babies - she swore they weren't ready to go solo, at least not without some supervision.

"Yes!"

"Can I pee first?!" Exhibit A from Professor Bose.

"Doofus, are you sure that's a good idea? They've only been doing this for, like...two months!" She hissed, walking over to chat privately with her husband, not that he was apprehensive. Slinging an arm around her waist, he pulled her close, flashing a confident smile before kissing her temple - like nothing would go wrong at all.

"It'll be fine, darlin'! Why don't you pee on the way?" Ray grinned before reaching for one of the drool glasses and passing it to the boy as a receptacle. "There you go!"

"Maybe I should go with them..." (y/n) told her doofus nervously, and she moved to follow the team up to the tube. However, when she tried to leave the hero's side, he grabbed her hip and pulled her back into his chest, whining like a puppy to keep his soulmate close.

"No, don't leave me, sweet girl!" He grumbled, holding her back to his chest as Henry rolled his eyes, wondering how needy one guy could be as Ray rubbed his nose into the spot below her ear. "They know what to do--they'll be fine!"

"But what if they need help?"

"They won't! Death is very unlikely!" Ray exclaimed a little too cheerfully for (y/n) 's liking, but judging from the tight grip on her waist, her fate was sealed.

She offered a regretful smile to the kids, not that they minded. It was nice to have some freedom and get away from The Love Nest, practically buzzing as they assembled at the platform's top. A nail salon couldn't be that bad, and Ray had complete faith in them...and a burning desire for quality time.

"Okay, guys... Don't end anybody, and try not to let anybody end you, okay?!"

"Good luck!" The heroine shouted, waving her babies goodbye as they disappeared down the tube - just as Henry's phone pinged. He glanced at the notification, his eyes indiscernibly darkening as he read it. Still, when the lovebirds wandered over, he quickly shoved it in his pocket again.

"That nail salon's going up in flames!"

"Raymond! Don't say that!" (y/n) scolded her doofus, swearing she felt another tummy tingle at the boy's paling cheeks. Something was off about him...

"Oh, lighten up, sweet girl! Come on, pal! I'll give you a tour of the Man's Nest!" Ray exclaimed, lightly slapping the kid's arm before dragging his wife toward the metal door. She shook her head mirthfully but followed him, knowing she'd have to bake the cookies and prepare their guest room anyway.

"All right, yeah, cool! I'm right behind you, big dog!" Henry called after them yet stopped to read the slew of messages clogging his PearPhone's notifications.

All of them were from Charlotte and Jasper, begging to know if he was okay and where he was. One even said he couldn't escape his problems, but the boy ignored it, pressing the delete button without another thought. Out of sight, out of mind, and he really didn't want to ruin his time in Swellview. Not if it was the only time he had left...

"Are you okay?" A voice pulled him from his thoughts, and Henry looked up, surprised and alarmed to see (y/n) staring at him suspiciously. Oh, no; he couldn't escape her omniscient mind, gulping as she watched his every move.

"I'm fine..." he replied, carefully tucking his phone away before she saw any of the messages.

"Henry Prudence Hart, don't you lie to me..." she said sternly, stepping closer with one of her sternest gazes because her tummy knew something was off - she just didn't know what.

"Who says I'm lying, (y/n/n)?" The kid broke their held gazes to glance at the floor before giving her a wonky smile. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he tried to look as relaxed as possible, even if he was oddly defensive with his surrogate big sister. "I'm fine..."

"If you say so..." (y/n) said slowly, folding her arms, dissatisfied with his answer, but she'd work it out eventually. She always did, especially when her tummy tingled like that. Only the investigation would have to wait as she heard clumsy, ground-shaking footsteps coming back up the hall.

"Just know, I'm watching you, Hart--"

"Dude, don't you want to see my axe-throwing room?!" Ray asked excitedly when he reappeared in the doorway, seeing his precious wife and sidekick chatting quietly - a weird tension between them, not that he picked up on it.

"Hmm?" The kid hummed, snapping out of the staring contest to see the man's innocently wide-eyed expression.

"Dude, don't you want to see my axe-throwing room?!"

"Do you even have to axe?" Henry joked, plastering a grin on his face while ignoring how (y/n) planted her hands on her hips. She was onto him, but he played it off well, giggling with his old boss like nothing was wrong.

"God, I've missed this..." Ray sighed, taking his wife's hand in his, squeezing it from the elation of having the old trio back together.

"Me too, doof..." she agreed, hugging his arm before giving the kid one last suspicious glance. "You guys go enjoy yourselves. I need to make up the guest room and bake some cookies, apparently."

"You sure you don't want to join in, sweet girl?" Her husband offered, pouting slightly when she reached onto her tiniest toes to kiss his cheek softly. "You love it when I throw axes..."

"No, you love it when you throw axes, so spend some time with Henry, and I'll see you later, doofus."

"Okay--let's go have some fum!"

She didn't need to tell them twice, wincing through her giggles when those little boys yelled at the top of their voices, slapped each other on the butt, and ran off down the hall. They were as crazy as the other, laughing and screaming the Man's Nest down as she chuckled to herself - only to feel her smile drop when a dark thought crossed her mind.

Something was wrong - she could just feel it, murmuring to herself when she remembered the look on that boy's face when he got that text.

"What is up with you, Henry Hart?"

~The next morning~

"Hey, guys. Here's your fourth cookie batch."

Ray and Henry grinned as they watched their beloved Miss Danger enter the main room, a steaming plate of oatmeal-raisin cookies in her hand. She placed them on the table, rolling her eyes since they couldn't get enough of them; it was flattering to know her tried and tested recipe was so well-loved, but she'd barely been out of the kitchen.

She'd literally been slaving away over a hot stove while they, the chuckle brothers, played, pranked, and paraded to their hearts' content. After checking out every room in the Man's Nest in the evening, Ray and Henry played video games until the early hours and, after grabbing a few winks in between, were back at it at nine am.

And they demanded cookies for breakfast.

"Thank you!" They chanted happily as the warm, honeyed smell tickled their noses, knowing they could never get enough. She promised to make them some brownies, too, but first, they needed to beat this level, dancing their feet off on some computer game.

"Are they still not back yet?" (y/n) muttered after leaving the baked goods to cool, ignoring the annoying music from the holographic computer screens. Whilst they were having fun, crisscrossing their feet to the beat, she was biting her fingernails in worry.

Twelve hours later, Danger Force still hadn't returned from their mission at the nail salon. Ray told his sweet girl not to worry, arguing that they were probably just taking their time and having fun, but (y/n) wasn't so sure. Maybe she should've gone with them or at least told Ray to get off his butt when he showed the kid their sauna room.

"Relax, darlin'! This is great!" Ray exclaimed happily, throwing his wife and ex-sidekick a grin as he copied the movements of his giraffe avatar.

"I love this!" Henry nodded, bopping left and right, ignorant of his worried friend behind him. All he knew was the safety and comfort he'd learned in the Man Cave, and he didn't want to stop.

"I love you!"

"What?!" He yelled over the music, not quite hearing his old boss as (y/n) raised an eyebrow at their antics. Honestly, it was surprising that she'd not gone insane yet.

"I said I'd get ready for round two!" The hero quickly replied, saving himself from explaining something embarrassing as the game changed. As they entered the second round, the dance style changed, lowering the lights and switching to a soft, sexy tune as they took a minute to breathe.

"Round two! Tango! Time to get close!"

"Seriously? You two are gonna tango?" (y/n) asked amusedly as she plonked herself on the computer's chair. She would've thought it was a bit girly for them, something her doofus would've wanted to do with her since it involved shared space, air, and sensuality.

"Sure are, pretty girl, and if you're lucky, we can practice later, too," Ray told her with a wink, which left his wife to imagine what he meant by that. She hoped it would be a private lesson, but when she glanced back up, his attention had returned to Henry.

"Shall we?"

"I didn't travel halfway around the world to not beat the tango level on Prance, Prance, Revolution with you," the kid replied confidently, ignoring their flirtation to give his friend a grave stare. He offered Ray his hand, who took it without hesitation before they coupled up into a somewhat intimate embrace.

With both arms around their backs, clasping each others' hands, the boys stepped in time to the Argentine music, navels pressed together with every movement. They weren't bad, creeping along and wiggling their butts as Henry led the dance, meaning Ray had to girlishly flick his leg out before twirling.

Still, at least (y/n) could admire her doofus, thinking he looked ridiculously hot in his tight red shirt and jeans. His muscles rippled under the thin material with every move, making her sigh dreamily as she propped her chin up on her palm as that thick waist twisted and rolled. And don't get her started on those smooth, exposed biceps...

But suddenly, the tell-tale sound of the tube broke her out of the reverie, drawing her attention as the boys continued dancing. And to her relief, four tired, dirty, and unhappy kids arrived, looking like they'd lost a fight with Bob Geldof.

"Oh, my God, you guys!" (y/n) exclaimed in horror, hurrying to her feet when her poor students plodded down the stairs, utterly defeated and groaning with every step.

"How'd it go?" Ray was infinitely more casual, never breaking form as his sweet girl tittered over the children, guiding them to the steps near the front door. The tango was better than seeing if they were okay, despite how they groaned with every step, sticky with nail polish.

"It went great..."

"We broke up the fight..."

"With our faces!" The kids grumbled. Chapa sounded as grumpy as usual, shuffling to her locker with a huff and glare while Mika tried to keep up her optimism. They'd done as they were asked, and that was great, but Miles just wished it didn't hurt so much.

"Wasn't all bad. Got my nails did and had time to squeeze in a pedi..." Bose replied, and (y/n) wondered why he was walking so strangely until she looked down. His feet were beautifully smooth with moisturised skin and freshly painted nails, spreading his toes with those little foam dividers.

Although he was the only one who'd had time to relax - the fight was brutal.

"Pretty!"

"Nice!" The dancing duo complimented when they waddled closer, dipped, and twirled, admiring the soft blue colour - it matched his uniform, and smudging them would be a crime. It almost made (y/n) jealous that she didn't follow them.

"That call wrecked me. I'mma go throw up and lay down." Or maybe not. She winced as Chapa shuffled the steps with her friends, appearing utterly worn out as she tried to sit down, only to flop onto the floor instead.

All they wanted to do was sleep for the next fifty years, feeling like death had punched them in the face, but Ray had news for them - and they weren't going to like it.

"Nah, nah, nah, another call came in while you were out," he told them to a chorus of groans and furious curse words. "Bunch of firebees are attacking a honey store. Caller said some murder bears are headin' up there, too, so hustle up!"

"We just got our cheese steamed! Can't you and (y/n) settle a honey fight between firebees and murder bears?" Mika complained on behalf of her friend, given that one of them was practically unconscious and the others were bleary-eyed and exhausted.

She'd never heard of such a ridiculous emergency but gave (y/n) her best puppy eyes, fluttering her eyelashes as the woman bit her lip.

"Maybe we should take this one, doofus. Let them have a break..." she suggested hopefully, hovering by the boys as their dance continued. If anyone could sway Ray, it was her.

"Ooh, whaddaya say, partner?" He asked Henry, knowing he couldn't run off to fight crime and leave his old friend in the Man's Nest alone, not when he'd come specially.

(y/n)'s unease only worsened when her baby shook his head gently and refused, saying some crap about the video game when, really, she knew the old Henry would never shy away from a fight. What was up with him?

"Hard pass, my guy. We got a big lift coming up."

"Oh, my God. This is ridiculous..." the heroine muttered as they separated, teetering on their tiptoes in preparation for their big finale, which apparently was so much more important than saving lives.

"Sorry, kids. Buzz off!" But, with the grouchy hero's order, Danger Force had no choice but to trudge to the tube again, dragging their feet and grumbling as they called on their final energy reserves. They could barely walk, let alone take down bad guys, but that was fine - as long as Ray got to leap toward Henry for the lift.

He swooped above the boy's head, straightening his legs and spreading his arms like an angel as Henry held his hipbones high above his head with impressive strength. Seriously--how did he lift that much doofus?

"Okay, now that the lift is over, are you sure you guys don't wanna come help us?" Mika questioned as she and the others hovered on the tube pad, hoping with all hope that the man might change his mind.

Given his look of pure joy at being so far above the ground, it was unlikely, but they could dream.

"You're superheroes! Quit your bellyaching!" And a dream was all that would remain, Ray's harsh, biting tone making them pout when he refused to come down.

"This is what you get paid for!" Henry added, thinking he was being helpful. He couldn't count on both hands how many times he was sent to deal with the most dangerous situations, but that was what he'd signed up for. That was the job, and it was worth it for nine dollars an hour.

"You got paid?!"

"Down the tube!" Ray couldn't shout quick enough, sending his baffled students downstairs before he heard anything about unions and unfair employment tribunals.

The looks on their faces, knowing they'd been duped when Kid Danger raked in hundreds over the years... That was a problem for another, or at least, a problem for when (y/n) didn't have a migraine.

"Doofus....how long are you gonna stay up there?" She wondered with an exasperated expression when the kid's arms began to shake from the extortion. Holding a hundred-and-eighty-pound man wasn't easy when he barely had muscles on those chicken wings, yet Ray showed no inkling of wanting to be put down.

He'd always wanted to be a swan.

"Long as I can, sweet girl. Long as I can..."

Something told her that Henry's stay would be trouble - and her tummy tingle went again.

~A few days later~

To say Henry and Ray made the most of their little bro-buddy vacation was an understatement.

With Danger Force taking every call, emergency, or other predicament, the boys had plenty of time to hang out, relax, and mess about for four very long days. (y/n) loved having Henry home, of course, enjoying the quality time she spent with him for just under a week, but dear God, she felt like she was in Groundhog Day.

They had cookies for breakfast every morning, followed by some practice on Prance-Prance Revolution. Then, after playing lasted tag with actual lasers, she made them pancakes for lunch, followed by takeout for dinner. And in between, their activities were loud, brash, and guaranteed to nearly shake the house down. Not so good for her poor nerves.

The bachelor pad life was quickly wearing her and poor Schwoz out, so Ray and Henry promised to try something different, which was well-received--until they found the hero's old band kit.

"Who gave them the electric guitar again?!" (y/n) shouted to Schwoz as her doofus and precious baby rocked out on their raucous instruments. When she said she wanted to see them break their routine, she didn't mean to shatter her eardrums.

"WHAT?!" The genius yelled back, hardly hearing her soft voice as the boys created the awful racket. Schwoz was sure they thought they were God's gift to the music world - Bon Jovi rising again - but it made their ears bleed outside their little fantasy.

"I SAID--WHERE DID THE GUITAR COME FROM?!"

"RAY FOUND IT IN THE GARAGE. IN A LOCKED BOX. UNDER SOME TRASH BAGS," he explained to the heroine as she clamped one hand over her ear whilst the other waved a lighter on his phone. They were part of the illusion, allowing the musical morons to believe they were at some concert playing to millions of adoring fans. But they weren't - just them, alone in the Man's Nest.

"OH, GOODIE. I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER FIND IT AGAIN." (y/n) winced as her doofus came down the steps from the tube, her fingers clumsily dancing up the fretboard of his guitar - the one she'd carefully stashed away after he deafened them the last time.

She had to smile through the pain, remembering how he said Captain Man didn't need lessons--he was a naturally gifted player. And, most importantly, all ladies loved a man in a band, waggling his eyebrows at her - the groupie - as he twanged a few notes.

"YOU SHOULD'VE PUT IT IN THE INCINERATOR!"

"WOULD'VE, COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE, SCHWOZ," she replied at the top of her voice before giving her husband and friend a tentative thumbs-up.

They thought they were rocking out, hearing nothing but a sweet soundtrack, but it was terrible as Henry tapped his cymbals like a little drummer boy. It truly hurt her poor little ears, and that was before Ray prodded his strings, wiggling his tongue like Paul Stanley.

"MY GOD, THIS IS PAINFUL!"

"I GOT THIS!" The small man said before hopping off the back of the sofa, leaving her waving her PearPhone through the air, smiling through the pain.

(y/n) watched curiously as Schwoz scuttled over to the amp that fed the infernal noise from Ray's guitar. He couldn't do much about the drumkit, but he sure as hell could rip the wire out, killing the music without a second thought. Just like they killed their eardrums.

"Whoa, whoa, hey!"

"What happened?!" Ray and Henry exclaimed disappointedly, so distracted in their performance that they didn't notice a thing. They just saw Schwoz standing beside the amp innocently and (y/n) batting her eyelashes at her doofus with that sweet girl smile.

"You must have blown a fuse, doof," the woman told her husband, hoping to capture his attention by crossing her legs and sticking her chest out, and it worked. Like the needy puppy he was, Ray drooled at his pretty girl and her...finer features, smiling and nodding at her every word, no matter how improbable it was.

"Because you were rocking so hard and looking so hot while doing it."

"You bet I was, sweet girl..." he grumbled lowly, waltzing over to stand between her legs and cup her jaw. He smiled cockily as he pulled her lips to his, his ego definitely stroked and ignorant of how Schwoz twiddled his thumbs innocently.

Her arms slid around his neck as their friends rolled their eyes, but at least the genius was thankful for the distraction. He didn't care if Ray did make those sounds or where his hands wandered or whatever she whispered in his ear that made him smirk like that, but Henry... He was suspicious.

"Right, sure..." he muttered, not entirely buying it when (y/n) lifted the guitar over her lover's head so she could hold him closer without damaging it. Not that Ray was interested in music now.

"Can you believe we've never even practised before?" The doofus said when they finally came up for air, pecking his wife's forehead. His smile shone as he squished her cheeks together and gazed into her eyes, entirely in the palm of her hand, after wowing her with his talent.

"Don't need to practice when you're already perfect, dude!" Henry retorted, making his old boss glance over his shoulder with a smug expression. That's all they needed - the ego inflation.

"Wow...I've missed you."

"And I've missed Nacho Ball! Get outta my way." Before Schwoz could even joke about giving the old hero and sidekick their own room, the kid pushed past Ray and made for the couch, where (y/n) had left their fast food while rocking out.

It would be their fifth in four days, but whatever - he was living la dolce vita. The old man's sentiments didn't matter, not when he had a fried, cheesy ball of goodness waiting to be devoured. Henry hopped over the couch and quickly grabbed his sack, leaving the adults to do whatever they wanted.

"I do enjoy your little visits..." the woman joked as she went around the couch like a normal person, even if her doofus leapt over the back like a child.

They bought food, too, even though the thought of more French fries made (y/n) want to die. At least she got to share with her beloved idiot, splitting a jumbo Nacho Ball meal and extra-large soda because it always tasted better when she sipped from his. Weird.

"Ho-kay, well...if your little concert is over, I'm going to go back to work now," Schwoz told them tentatively once they'd backed away from the instruments of death, but by then, with food in front of their faces, Ray and Henry weren't interested. Not when they hadn't eaten in three hours--and one of them got to feed little snacky things to his sweet girl.

"Bye-bye, Schwozie!" (y/n) waved sweetly, which was more than the boys did as they immediately buried their noses in their plates. They didn't care what Schwoz did or where he went - a sore relief for the exhausted genius with a pounding headache.

He wandered off in a foul mood, complaining about their childishness, when Henry's phone pinged in his pocket, distracting him from how Ray snuggled into his wife's side.

She was interested in a polite, quiet dinner, nibbling a fry. Yet, her doofus laid his arm on the back of the couch, around her shoulders, leaning into her space to nuzzle his nose under her jaw. He whispered sweet nothings into her neck, practically laying in her lap more with every scrap of attention she gave him.

"Who texted?" (y/n) asked casually while trying to work around her needy husband's advances.

"Uh--"

"You're so pretty, sweet girl..." Ray muttered in a honey-like voice as his hand slid up her thigh, ignoring the food on the table and whatever Henry wanted to say. "What'd you say me and you take this to go and rendezvous in our bedroom?"

"Ooooh! I did not miss that!" The kid exclaimed when he noticed the hand under the table moving further north. That, and his mentor's smoochy mood, made him freak out, not wanting to know what he planned to do if he dragged her off behind closed doors.

"Doofus!"

"What?! Can't a man love his wife?" The hero said moodily, loudly kissing his bashful girl's cheeks as the boy shook his head, grimacing. It was enough to put him off his Nacho Ball, watching how the grown man became a simping, crawling, goo-goo-eyed idiot just because (y/n) smiled at his affection.

"Dude..." he muttered moodily, tapping his phone in exasperation when Ray kissed his wife again, "I'm trying to save these texts to The Cloud."

"Why?" (y/n) asked with a slight frown as she held her doofus in her arms, feeling how he nuzzled into her chest when the boy's phone did something annoying and unexpected. He really needed to turn off dictation, making one of Ray's classic mistakes when his virtual assistant began reading everything he wanted gone.

"Reading messages out loud."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no---" All the colour drained from Henry's face as the voice dictated his texts, which ranged from weird to downright concerning, catching (y/n) and even Ray's attention amidst their kissing.

"You can't run from this thing. It will find you--"

"Henry--what the hell are you doing?!" The woman asked gravely, her expression turning from serious and concerned to utterly baffled when the kid jumped up from the couch to stamp on his PearPhone - anything to get the damn thing to shut up.

But they'd heard enough, even after he'd smashed the device, satisfying her gut in the worst way when it revealed that he'd been keeping secrets, just like she'd suspected. Sometimes, she hated it when her tummy tingle was right.

"That didn't sound good..." Ray muttered, swallowing a fry as he pulled away from his sweet girl to look at his ex-sidekick blankly. He didn't know what was happening, but he still snuggled up with her, just from how jumpy Henry was...he wasn't that stupid.

"Right?!" The boy asked nervously, shuffling around the couch on his tiptoes as he looked out of the windows and over his shoulder. "Hey, uh, totally unrelated question, but I'm, like, totally untrackable in the Man's Nest, right?"

"Oh, yeah, dude. Schwoz installed these macro-electron scramblers. Trying to find you here would be like trying to find a grey hair on my head," the man replied confidently, earning himself a whack on the arm from his wife since he could be so dense at times - so full of himself ever since she said he was hot.

"There's one right there." And Henry knew just how to distract him, being the cunning kid he was.

"What?! It's not true! Tell me it's not true, sweet girl!"

"Oh, Raymond!" (y/n) grumbled when her husband grabbed her by the shoulders, frantically shaking her shoulders at the thought of growing old. Some said he dyed his hair, others would disagree, but his floof was perfectly chocolatey - not that Ray knew that as he frantically combed his fingers through it.

"Now, Henry, you better start telling us what the hell is going on--" She turned to Henry with one of the angriest, sternest faces he'd ever seen on her - which could've been infinitely scarier than whatever had him so worried.

But her threat fell on its face when she was interrupted, dealing with both stressed-out doofus and a gaggle of children shooting up from SWAG in their chairs, and they did not look happy. Welcome to the club.

"Hey!" Mika shouted, closely followed by Chapa, Bose, and her brother. They'd been doing all the leg work for Captain Man and Miss Danger for days, keenly aware that their golden boy kept them preoccupied with his little visit, and that pissed them off.

"What? What? I don't have any grey hairs--you're old--what?!" Ray rambled, turning around to peek out from behind his sweet girl, who had just rolled her eyes and looked at Danger Force.

She wasn't in the mood for more angry, lying children, waiting for one of them to say the wrong thing before she exploded.

"We all have something to say to you!" Mika, the spokeswoman of the quartet, announced, giving her teachers a confident face as her friends rallied behind her.

"Well, I would sorely love to hear it. Just know that I am not in a cookie-baking mood anymore..." (y/n) smiled sweetly at them, folding her arms as she ignored the lanky, no-good, secretive boy behind her and focused on her other troublemakers. They didn't seem as confident as they were before.

"Chapa, tell them!" The girl quickly pulled her friend before her, her strength and argument failing under the woman's stern gaze. Chapa would be much better at shouting back, her grumpy frown matching (y/n)'s, although even she was anxious to take her on fully. After all, they were all friends here...

"We've been taking all of the calls for, like, three or four days now!" She started, the others yelling in agreement as the couple glanced at each other.

"We think you guys should take the next call!"

"Okay..." (y/n) saw nothing wrong with that, shrugging even as the children ganged up on her and Ray. If anything, she was getting cabin fever, hoping to get out into the action with her doofus, and now, she wanted to get Henry out, too. What was that he said about untrackable?

"We also think we should be able to vaporise one person a year for no reason at all!"

"Yeah!--Wait..." The others frowned at the little addition Chapa tagged onto the end of their demands, having not discussed anything about vaporising people when meeting in Mika's bedroom the previous night. They wanted fair treatment and a break, but maiming innocent people? It made the pause and quickly back-track.

Sure, we'll take the next call..." Ray told them as he looked at his precious wife, who nodded calmly and sipped his--their soda. She was ready to go, but the kid - he looked like he'd seen a ghost. "It's been a half-minute, my fists are getting thirsty, and crime is a tall glass of water."

"Please, don't punch my glass--" Henry asked the hero while the children celebrated their negotiations, but it was too late. Fired up and eager to fight, Ray smacked his thankfully empty glass off the table, happy to see it roll under the table since it meant he got a glimpse of his sweet girl's butt when she had to pick it up.

"Raymond!"

"What, sweet girl? Next call that comes in is gonna go home in a body bag," he whispered dramatically, clenching his fists before swiftly yanking her into his embrace. She could tell he'd not been outside in a few days, acting all hyper and needy even as everyone's brows flew up at the...overkill.

"Doofus, what have we said about saying murdery things?" (y/n) murmured in his ear as she patted down his chest. To say he was being so jumpy, his muscles looked good in that shirt.

"That's how lawyers get involved?"

"Exactly, so let's remain calm and take the next call."

"Yeah, but I mean, who even knows when the next call is gonna come in?" Henry said nervously, wrinkling his nose when they kissed again, but it was a small price to pay since it distracted them from the whole going-out thing.

The mere thought made his heart pound, palms growing clammy at the idea of venturing outside the safe Nest walls. But the emergency alert began to sound before the heroine could even give him one of her suspicious stares. Red light and the loud siren filled the room, and if he was scared before, he was practically bricking it now.

"Oh, would ya look at that?" Chapa said nonchalantly, an evilly sweet smile as she looked at the anxious kid. "An emergency call."

"How convenient..." Ray said poignantly, anything beyond coincidence going over his floofy head as Mika walked to the supercomputer to see what was happening.

"Exactly. Someone's trying to rob that corner store - How Convenient," the girl told them, making Ray smile at the map on the holographic screen. It was in Downtown Swellview, not too far from their hideout, but definitely in a grungier part of town. Just the sort of place filled with the scum the hero wanted to wipe the floor with.

"Oh! So, you, me, and my sweet girl are going to Pound Town, buddy!"

"Doesn't look too difficult, but we should get going..." (y/n) noted as she and her doofus pulled out their gum tubes. Admittedly, a little flutter of excitement ran through her veins at the thought of the old team working together - the thrill of being in the trio again, even though she played it cool.

She was more than ready to become Miss Danger again, but when Henry hesitated, she got that funny feeling again...

"Pound Town is nice this time of year, but, uh, I really just wanna finish my Nacho Ball," the blond boy told them shakily, all but looking like he could bolt at any minute, making the couple frown as they chewed their gum.

Yet, when he returned to the table, hoping for a refried, golden, crispy distraction, he found Bose sitting on the steps with his plate and cheese smeared across his lips - chowing down. Leaving that Nacho Ball unattended was a mistake.

"Chapa ate it..." he mumbled guiltily, despite being caught cheese-handed.

"Come on, man. Pop one of those Dystopian gumballs. I wanna see that swet 'stume," Ray excitedly said to his old friend, who undoubtedly fought in something other than his old uniform now. They'd never seen it, leaving him to fight alone with Jasper and Charlotte in the other city. Still, they only got a wobbly smile and lying eyes.

"Aw, God--I--I didn't bring any."

"Say what now?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow at him, not buying it for a second when the boy nervously rubbed his hands together, barely able to stand still. She was a skittish person by nature; she knew anxiety when she saw it, especially in a boy who'd tried to blindside her a dozen times in the past.

"You're telling us that somehow, miraculously, you forgot to bring your gum, even though it's the one thing you keep on you at all times?"

"Yeah, (y/n/n). I must've forgotten to turn on the gum reminder app on my phone." He gulped, seeing the amusement in her eye the second the lie passed through his teeth, hands on her hips, as Ray frowned at both of them. He was dense, but even he sensed something weird was happening.

"Yeah, well, the BS-detection app on my phone is telling me you're making that up," she replied sternly, holding the gum against her inner cheek as she stepped closer--until she was nearly toe-to-toe with the boy. He said nothing, bravely holding her gaze to deny everything she accused him of, but Miles didn't care.

He was a guy of action, thrusting his arm in the air and suddenly appearing beside the ex-sidekick because there was something in his pocket... He pinched a tin from Henry's back pocket in a flash of light, hearing the unmistakable rattle of gum inside. Busted.

"What are these, then?"

"Funny that..." (y/n) said dryly as everyone watched the lanky kid scramble for an answer. Of course, Ray said nothing - he never did to his favourite child; he was just happy that there was gum, even if it came out of thin air.

"Guess I did bring some! Thanks, buddy." Henry plucked the tin from Miles' hand, smiling tightly at him, his voice strained and almost hoarse with his bubbling anger.

It didn't deter the younger boy, who mirrored Chapa's infamous saccharine grin as he patted his learned friend on the shoulder, only to have his hand abruptly pushed away. For someone who said he wasn't bothered - chill in the words of the modern youth - Henry looked pissed off.

"Something wrong, Hen?" (y/n) asked innocently, blinking when her baby looked at him in annoyance, almost crushing the case in his palm.

"No..."

"Come on! It's right down the street--we'll be back in five minutes," Ray told him, despite having every intention of dragging the fight out for everything it had. Anything to fight side-by-side like they did in the good old days.

"Five minutes?" Kid Danger echoed nervously as he unscrewed his gum, hands shaking as they wore down his resolve. It looked like he didn't have much choice, but the mere thought of stepping outside made him feel sick - five minutes would feel like forever. Five minutes was all it would take.

"Yeah! Have I ever lied to you?" The man replied brightly, only to get several dry looks in return.

"You once told me you were born in nineteen-ninety-eight..." Henry recalled, much to the sniggers around the room - even from (y/n). Would that make her a cougar? Dating a guy ten years her junior?

Everyone giggled at the flustered hero, who immediately snarled at the children as he grabbed her waist and pulled her into his chest. He didn't want her to see his pink cheeks from the minor fibs he told.

"I was! I was! Ninety-eight! Year of the...fist!"

"Technically, it was the year of the tiger," (y/n) said, giggling as she gently hugged her doofus' waist, hoping he'd stop pouting when she snuggled closer. She didn't care about his age; if anything, it was hot - the hand of experience. "And, you big doofus, if you're secretly twenty-three, I'm the next pope."

"Your holiness..." Ray smiled, glancing down to make the mistake of getting lost in her eyes. She made him feel young - full of butterflies, warmth, and endless energy - enough to quell his current worries. That, and the kiss they shared.

"All right..." Henry muttered, swearing under his breath from his internal anxiety and their canoodling. He never understood how they could kiss and chew gum simultaneously. Still, Ray made it work, somehow cradling her jaw and patting her ass together, too. "Let's blow and go."

"Finally!" The woman grinned, excitedly rubbing her hands together as she hurriedly pulled away from her doofus, pecking his lips a final time. She stood between him and the moody teen, feeling her husband slip his hand into hers and squeeze, grounding them in a surreal moment.

At one point, they thought they'd never see Henry again, let alone fight crime with him. But, as they transformed into their super-suits, becoming Captain Man and Miss Danger for the millionth time, they saw a new, grungier side of their old friend.

His uniform was...different. Kinda like he took everything about the Kid Danger costume and fucked it off. Instead of bright colours and protective equipment, the couple were shocked and concerned to see him wearing dark skinny jeans, a crusty, frayed t-shirt, and a thick, leather jacket shrugged over the top. The only way of safety they saw was his gloves, but even so, there was no padding, no layers, and certainly no mask.

It was Henry Hart - emo edition.

"Dude, where's your mask?" Ray asked concernedly. He could look over the dingy, dark outfit, seeing why it might be cool on some people, but nothing protected his identity. That was just stupid.

"Oh, we don't actually wear masks in Dystopia."

"What?!" (y/n)'s eyes nearly fell out of her head at the revelation. All she heard was that three of her beloved babies were running around the most dangerous city in the world, allowing every villain to know who they were. Were they trying to get themselves pulverised?

"Yeah, I don't know, we're just kinda beyond that," the boy replied coolly--as if it wasn't a big deal. He looked at the adults like they were stupid and boring. Still, even Danger Force could see the perilous risks he took by not wearing one, awkwardly fidgeting around the room.

"Actually, that's extremely irresponsible."

"Mask-wearing saves lives..."

"(y/n/n), come on. It's fine," Henry said to his strongest ally as the traitors around the room pandered to their teacher. He didn't care what his replacements had to say, defiantly staring at the heroine with pleading eyes, not that she cared.

"It's not fine, picklehead," (y/n) told him firmly, wandering over to the drawer beside the supercomputer to find something suitable. She was sure they didn't have a mask to hand, but since it was dark, as long as they covered his face, the kid would be okay--if she didn't whip his butt for being so difficult before.

"While in Swellview, you're gonna put something on your face."

"Nah, nah, nah, nah. You always do this, (y/n)!" He complained, batting away the woman's hands when she tried to put a pair of dark glasses over his eyes. They would just make him look stupid - what idiot wore sunglasses at night?

"No one likes a whiner, Henry. Put them on!" He could try to push her away, but that only made the woman more determined.

They argued back and forth, shouting over each other as he attempted to dodge the glasses. He didn't win, of course, eventually giving up when she kicked his shin and told him to suck it up. Finally, she shoved them up the bridge of his nose, smiling with satisfaction when he sighed, arms falling to his side.

"You look great!"

"I look stupid!" The kid grumbled, moodily stomping to the tube as Ray took his sweet girl by the hand. He said it, not her.

"Well, it's a fight, not a fashion parade, so let's go!" (y/n) hurried after her doofus, waving to Danger Force as they cheerfully yelled their goodbyes, relieved to see the backs of them since it meant they could finally rest. Ray could barely contain himself, excitedly buzzing beside her as they waited on the tube pad, clutching at each other's hands as the hero hit his belt buckle.

"You wanna call it?" He asked his old friend, smiling at him for old times' sake, and even in his cranky mood with the demon butterflies terrorising his belly, the kid couldn't say no. Not when he felt so nostalgic.

"Up the tube!" Henry shouted, only for the machine to buzz lowly at him. The lovebirds beside him gasped and cooed, saying something about him being adorable and just a baby because he was still stuck in the Man Cave. A sore spot that tugged on (y/n)'s heartstrings.

"Oh, baby boy, we go down the tube now..." She said softly, stroking the boy's arm as he stared blankly at his surroundings. She practically whimpered at her doofus, wondering if it had been that long since they lost their own home since this was normal now - them in the Man's Nest.

"...Down the tube!"

With that, they were off, hurtling toward the garage and whatever new vehicle Ray wanted to show off. Everything was the same but different, which didn't help Henry's nerves as he stepped out from under the protective shield into the big, bad world.

If the couple knew what danger he was in, would they have let him out? Probably not. This kid couldn't handle danger for all the big talk he used to make. Sometimes, he wished he could return to when things were simpler--when he chased diaper-wearing villains and the criminally stupid.

But it was a little late for that. By the time they reached the convenience store, it was too late for anything.

~The How Convenient Store~

"This place is disgusting..."

(y/n) wrinkled her nose as she followed her doofus and Henry along a dark, dirty street at the foot of Mount Swellview.

She didn't like how all the streetlights seemed blinky, how many trash bags piled up on the curb, or how she swore she heard rats squeaking in the shadows. The smell made her want to retch, sticking close to Ray's side as he confidently strutted to the lonely store covered in a thick layer of grime and graffiti.

"Oh, come on, sweet girl! It's gonna be fun!" The hero replied cheerfully, practically skipping along the road since he was riding a massive nostalgia wave.

He had his beautiful wife on his arm, and beside her, Henry traipsed with them. It didn't matter how skittish he seemed - the kid was there, which was enough to make his old boss giddy as a schoolboy.

"You mean, we're going to need a tetanus shot after this?" (y/n) said sarcastically, glancing at the reticent boy when he didn't snort at her joke. It was strange; he didn't even fake vomit when they kissed and cuddled in the Man Van, and that made her suspicious--more so than she already was. "Right, kid?"

"Huh?--Oh, yeah, ha...ha." The kid's voice was flat and distracted, probably because he constantly glanced over his shoulder, too busy frantically scanning their surroundings through those thick glasses to laugh at anything they said.

And the strangest thing had to be how he nearly ducked under the heroine's arm when he heard a shout off in the distance, clinging to her uniform's skirt like a terrified child, not a hardened crime fighter.

"Man, this is like the good old days! Come on! Come on!" Still, Ray hurried them off, quickly crossing the road with his usual arrogance, squeezing his wife's hand as they burst into How Convenient to see a familiar face.

"Can you pay attention to me, please?"

"You're always in the middle of a game!" The young woman, named Shasta, behind the counter, whined to whoever she was talking to on the phone - her girlfriend or boyfriend at home, (y/n) assumed.

She didn't give a damn about the fact that her store was being robbed, more concerned about her troublesome relationship than the criminal begging for some attention. It was challenging to rob a place when the staff refused to hand over the goods. Still, even so, Ray grinned when he recognised the scumbag - for the first time in nearly a decade of dealing with him.

"Part of the reason I rob people is for the connection, and I feel like you're not here with me right now!" The scruffy, greasy, moronic thug whined as he squeezed his weapon of choice - a skunk for some reason, but then again, he always thought he was clever.

"Oh, God, not him..."

"Hey, look! It's your old pal, Jeff!" Ray nudged Henry as they huddled near the door. (y/n) couldn't say she was thrilled to see that the idiot had returned after the jailbreak, but for once, her doofus wanted to chase his flabby ass. Anything to relive the glory days with the kid.

"Yeah, yeah, cool. Let's just hurry this up," Henry replied, feeling as jumpy as ever now that they were out in the open, wearing his Dystopian costume - for anyone to see.

"Aw, man. I'm so excited!"

"You're adorable, doofus..." the woman giggled when her husband squeezed her body against his in a spur-of-the-moment hug. Yet, she gave Henry a knowing, side-eyed glance whilst the hero couldn't see.

"Well, I don't even know what we are! What does vibing even mean?" The shop assistant ranted to her friend on the phone, making the heroes feel slightly awkward after hearing something they shouldn't.

"Do we vibe, sweet girl?" Ray asked his sweet girl quietly as Jeff chased after the woman, who disappeared into the break room with the PearPhone glued to her ear. The silly hero looked so confused, not knowing if it was good or bad or if he'd missed that lesson on youth slang.

"Oh, yeah, we vibe so hard, doof," (y/n) replied with an enamoured smile despite not entirely understanding what it meant. "But we vibe so much better than that girl and her...companion."

"Where are you going? I'm not done crime-ing!" Jeff whined after Shasta, only for Captain Man to clear his throat to catch the moron's attention. The incompetent villain practically jumped out of his skin when he saw the hero, Miss Danger, and that scrawny, emo-y kid standing there, wondering when they got there.

"Robbing a store with a skunk?" (y/n) asked with an unimpressed, quirked eyebrow. She folded her arms as Ray turned to her with a silly grin.

"That plan stinks!" He was so happy with the little pun that he patted the boy's chest to join in the fun after he earned an amused smile from his wife. Now you go—you go—you go!"

"Uh..." Henry stuttered, not knowing what to say since he was riddled with nerves, desperately wanting to go home. "What the smell are you doing? Now, come on--you're going to jail..."

With a stony, tight-lipped face, he marched over to the criminal with a hefty sigh. He grabbed him by the elbow and, with no messing around, yanked him toward the exit without any of the usual flare or dramatics. It was baffling to the couple, who frowned and quickly dragged him back to their sides for being so goddamn dull.

"Hey, hey, man! Take your time!"

"What are you talking about?" Their old sidekick asked tiredly, wondering what childish, ridiculous drivel his ex-boss was yammering about when he just wanted everything over and done with. It wasn't like him, and all Henry could do was avoid the simmering anger and disappointment in (y/n)'s eyes.

"Let's slow-fight this crime..." The hero answered softly, hoping to drag out every sweet second of his nostalgia trip to make up for how they parted ways.

"I just wanna get back to my Nacho Ball!"

"Not gonna lie, we left it with BrainStorm. That Nacho Ball will be long gone..." (y/n) replied, seeing straight through the kid's lie, but it was still true. To the boy's disappointment, Bose always stole anyone's takeout if they unwisely left it unguarded. He wouldn't be able to use that excuse now.

"Hey, is this your news sidekick?" Jeff interrupted, staring at Henry with an untypically curious expression as he tried to size him up. Luckily, he couldn't see through his minimal disguise, not seeing Kid Danger at all, but still, they didn't like how he giggled.

"Maybe..."

"No!" The kid quickly shut down Ray's high hopes, dimming that pearly grin, but that didn't stop her merciless big sister poking his rubs with her elbow - a mischievous glint in her eye.

"I'd say we're vibing right now," (y/n) joked, giggling with her husband as he wound his arms around her waist and plonked his chin on the top of her head.

"You guys don't even know what that means!"

"Sure I do," she retorted when the boy gave her that dry, exasperated look, but how could she be truly cranky when she was in her soulmate's arms?

Resting her weight against Ray, she flashed him a cunning smile, her eyes sparkling, when the besotted hero pecked her temple—much to Jeff's disgust. He'd always thought she was a pretty girl, but why did she have to choose him?

"It means we're, like, together, but not really."

"But we vibe extra hard 'cause we're actually together, right, precious girl?" Ray asked softly, lowering his mouth next to her ear. He squeezed her gently, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted something because he didn't want any of that situationship shit; she was his, and he was hers.

"Oh, definitely, Captain. I love you..."

"Aw, sweet girl. I love you, too!"

"I can't even talk to you guys..." Henry rolled his eyes as they cooed and fawned over each other, swearing they were doing it just to wind him up. Either way, it pissed Jeff off, given that it was infuriating to see his favourite pin-up, Miss Danger, in the arms of his mortal enemy, Captain Man.

As the kid rolled his eyes and grimaced, the crook pointed the skunk at them - an odd choice of weapon that had to be a first for the hero in all his crime-fighting years. Glaring at the happy couple and all their lovey-dovey romance, he lifted the creature's tail and pointed it at the trio; such was his genius.

"Well, spray hello to my little friend!" Cried Jeff, and a jet of stinky skunk spray blasted at the heroes.

Ray instantly pulled his sweet girl away and out of harm, hating to think that the foul stench would overcome her sweet perfume. Meanwhile, Henry, despite being semi-abandoned, could handle himself, instantly raising his green, glowing force field around himself. The stink ricocheted back to the criminal, hitting the back of his throat so he tasted it.

"Ahhhhh! It burns!" He screamed, seeing nothing but tears as he turned and fled to escape the foul smell.

"Classic Jeff!" Ray exclaimed with a hearty laugh, untangling himself from his beloved wife once he'd run off. They had no need to annoy him now, and the best part of the night would be the chase, nudging Henry and congratulating him on a job well done.

"Yeah, all right. We stopped the robbery, so let's get back to the Man's Nest!" But once again, the kid showed no interest in reliving their former fun, smiling weakly as he made for the door.

"Hey, kid, hang on!" (y/n) called out, getting a funny feeling in her tummy again as her hand zipped out and caught him by the arm. If only he had told her what was so obviously terrifying him, maybe she could have helped... "We've got to go chase after Jeff! You know, put him in jail!"

"No, no, no, no. Let's get back to the Man's Nest," Henry insisted, slowly edging toward the door, even as they ached to run after their enemy, who was quickly gaining ground.

"Come on, it'll be fun! Like old times! Punchin', quippin', takin' selfies!" Ray added, jabbing and kicking out at thin air to try and inspire a little action in the boy, but he didn't succeed, either.

"I don't want to take selfies!"

He glanced at his wife, looking to her for advice, but she was equally frustrated and slowly losing patience with the boy when he took her wrist and tried to yank her back to the Man Van.

"Ooh, you know what we can do? We can steal some of these bubblegum burner phones and blame it on Jeff!"

"That's just stealing, doofus, and not the point right now!" (y/n) told her husband firmly when he got a little silly and desperate, but her main focus was the stubborn kid still gripping her arm.

She looked at him with a hand on her hip, trying to work out what was up with him as her tummy tingle worsened, but it was difficult when he anxiously hopped from foot to foot.

"It's kind of a grey area, darlin'. Who's gonna know?" Ray replied jokingly, not sensing the tension in the store until his wife gave him the look. A stern, cold glance that had him buttoning his lip and looking at his shoes because he wanted to live. Henry, however, might not see another day as he avoided her firm gaze.

"I will, you big doofus, but come on!" The heroine answered curtly before yanking her hand from Henry, giving him a tired yet serious stare. "Look, kid, will you just tell us what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Henry asked quietly, trying to act all innocent and cute, hoping it would get her to leave him alone.

He was little Henry Hart, the boy she had known since he was thirteen. He tried to channel that when his big, wide eyes met hers, only to be met with a harsh scoff and incredulous expression.

"Oh, cut the crap. We both know you've been lying for the last few days!"

"I have not!" he argued fervently, trying to tap Ray's bicep to get him on his side.

Still, if there was one thing he'd missed during his time in Dystopia, Ray Manchester did not argue with his wife. Hardly ever, and certainly not on stuff like this. She was the boss, and he didn't mess with her—mainly because she was smoking hot when she was girlbossing it.

"You're lying right now!" The woman snapped, clutching her tummy when the tingle became painful, tugging her toward the back door like something wanted her to flee, but she wasn't done arguing yet.

"Sweet cheese, Henry, what are you so afraid of?"

The kid never got a chance to reply, and she didn't know when to run, not when shit hit the fan.

A flash of blinding light filled the store, and an explosion threw the trio off their feet. They barely had time to react when the cool, nighttime air hit their faces, telling (y/n)'s dazed brain that the door had burst open, but most importantly, they were under attack.

It couldn't be Jeff; that idiot was long gone and couldn't find his ass in the dark with both hands, so Captain Man wasn't worried about him, just the unknown. He did not know what he was up against with his vision so blurry, but his instincts told him to move--fight--kick--punch--do something to get to his sweet girl. And Henry, of course.

As their backs hit a cold, hard surface where racks of chips and candy used to hang, the hero tried to move his bulky arms, reaching for the pretty girl beside him, but it was futile.

"What the..." (y/n) muttered in a daze, but not enough to miss the bizarre contraption fixing her wrists and lower body to the wall. They were like futuristic handcuffs, glowing with powerful, blue energy that snaked around their tummies before locking their hands by their sides.

"Miss Danger!" Her doofus exclaimed, panicking slightly when he tugged on the weird restraints with his super-strength, but they didn't break. He couldn't get to her. They were side by side, yet so far and completely powerless, and that made them afraid.

Yet, the feeling of not being able to reach each other was nothing compared to the terror that ran down their spines when a sinister-looking remote-control drone flew toward them, honing in on Henry as the boy slumped against the wall, petrified and panting.

It scanned Captain Man and did nothing. It scanned Miss Danger and did nothing. They weren't its target, but Henry? It analysed his face and beeped, talking in a monotone, robotic voice that put the fear of God in the kid.

"Henry Hart located...Sending bounty hunter."

"What the actual fuck?" (y/n) spat, heart pounding and staring wide-eyed at the drone before she and Ray snapped their heads right in their friend's direction.

"I can explain..." he said slowly, not daring to look them in the eye because he knew he was screwed. It was just a matter of time before they all met horrific, excruciating ends, and it was all his fault. They were gonna die, and that was on him, but he couldn't tell them that...

"Can you?!" His beloved (y/n/n) gasped, frantically glancing between him and the drone as Ray tried to wrench free, but it was useless. "Oh, Henry, what have you done?"

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean for this to happen," the boy whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, praying it was some sick, twisted nightmare. But no, the drone was still there, and his closest friends...well, they looked ready to throw hands.

"For what to happen? What's going on?!" Ray gasped, tugging with all his might to bust out. He wasn't the brightest, refusing to give up, but he didn't need to be a genius to realise how much shit they were in - how he couldn't reach his sweet girl to keep her safe, even if he tried.

"We need to get out of here!"

"Yes, thank you for that capital idea, Sherlock," (y/n) retorted dryly, feeling her wrists chafe as she wiggled them. "Don't suppose you have a freaky techno-key for these freakier cuffs, do you?"

"Just--just call Danger Force and tell them to get here ASAP!" Henry told her shakily, whipping his head at every entrance like he was waiting for someone to arrive, and by the looks of it, he was petrified.

She scoffed at that. She was seriously not in the mood to take orders from him. Also, what made him think they'd want to help? Those poor kids were exhausted, and this was his mess - if only he'd tell them...

"They won't come. It's their time off, Hen," she replied, but that only made the kid's eyes widen more than she thought humanly possible.

"They have to!"

"Why? Are we gonna die?" Captain Man asked causally, a light, airy, joking edge to his voice as he tried a smile - anything to lighten the situation. But, his stomach dropped when Henry glanced away awkwardly and pulled a nervous face. Did he even want to know?

"Um...no?" He tried, but it was a pretty poor attempt to say he had all those lessons on lying all those years ago in the Man Cave.

"One more lie from you, Henry Prudence Hart, and I swear to God--" (y/n) snapped, seeing straight through his anxious disposition, mainly because she was the queen of nerves. The Nervous Queen.

She invented lying through one's teeth, and her raised eyebrow and penetrating glare made Henry feel worse. He hoped the tears in the corners of his eyes helped his case, although judging by how she shook her head, it didn't.

"Call them!" He begged, using his best puppy dog eyes and shrillest voice before looking at his old boss. They winced at his volume, thinking he'd gone so high-pitched and whiny that only dogs could hear him. "Please!"

"All right, all right. Jeez..." Ray muttered, wishing to put his hands over his wife's precious little ears. He hated how she leaned away from the kid, who had really become a wimp in his time away from them. "No need to yell at my sweet girl."

Shaking his head, the hero gave his ex-sidekick a stern look—as if he hadn't had enough of those. Still, Henry couldn't complain when Ray fumbled for his PearPhone. Thanks to the freaky restraints, he was the only person with room to manoeuvre.

It took some work, but he managed it, slipping the cell out from his utility belt before calling Danger Force. They'd undoubtedly be in a foul mood when they saw it was him, but to save his sweet girl? He'd do anything.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

It was safe to say that Chapa wasn't happy. Her piercing tone shattered their eardrums despite coming through the phone's speaker, and Miles didn't shy away, either.

"You're interrupting screen time!" he bellowed, which was weird for the kid, who was usually so chill.

"Oh, my bad, D-Force!" Ray said in his usual lighthearted tone, smirking at his sweet girl and the perturbed kid, "Just, uh, that me, my incredibly hot wife, are in a little jammy jam, but don't worry about it! We'll find another way outta this!"

"No, no, no, no! We need them to help us get out of here ASA-NOW!" Henry argued, sounding even more panicked and jittery than before, earning puzzled looks from the couple. "Please, come help us!"

"Sorry! Captain Man said you guys would handle this call," replied Chapa, who had no plans to leave her snuggly blanket or the sacred sanctuary of Mika's bedroom.

"She's right, kid. This doofus did promise we'd take this call," (y/n) added, frowning when the boy ignored her soothing voice and tugged frantically on his cuffs.

"We gotta honour it. Even if it kills you," Ray joked, although he would never let a thing hurt his beloved wife, flashing her a blindingly charming smile.

"Please, come help us!" the kid pleaded again, feeling like throwing up as he got desperate. He bribed Danger Force with anything he could think of. He was shameless, promising them anything their little hearts desired as the drone's red eye focused solely on him.

"What--what do you want? Captain Man and Miss Danger will give it to you!"

"What?" The couple murmured, glancing at each other with deeper frowns as the boy shouted into the speaker, giving away privileges he didn't have.

"You want to fly the Man Copter? You want a bunch of puppies?! We'll give it to you!" He offered, neither of which sounded pleasant to Ray.

The hero could see it now; his beloved helicopter spiralling to the ground or a bunch of mammals doing their doo-doos all over his Man's Nest, and the latter seemed worse. Of course, he had the best luck, and the children chose puppies - because who doesn't like puppies?

Hell, (y/n) knew which one she would pick, already imagining a little friend for Colin. She could already picture them setting bolt right up, eyes sparkling at the thought of cuddling with adorable doggies - a lovely image only ruined by Henry's snivelling.

"Just, please, come! Please, come help us!"

"PUPPIES!" The kids cried in pure joy. Despite their morals and grand ideas about screen time, they'd do anything for puppies.

"We're on our way!" With that, they ended the call, leaving the trio alone to await rescue.

Henry's tummy was undoubtedly less choppy and churning, but his expression didn't change. He was pale and pasty as his knees shook, his back pressed to the wall in pure terror. He looked like a wimp, and giving away the Man Copter like a pound of tea? That was downright disgraceful.

"Jeez, kid. What's got your brisket in a basket?" Ray asked frostily, glancing at his old friend as he squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered.

The boy glanced at the man and then at (y/n), whose piercing gaze never left him; she was clearly waiting for an answer, and if anything, Henry was more scared of upsetting her than the monster coming for them.

But, no matter how deep he was already in, he couldn't lie to her anymore, not when she searched his face and gazed at him with those kind eyes. And when she spoke? He crumbled.

"Henry? What's wrong?"

"Okay, I gotta level with you guys," he gulped, nervously buzzing in place as Ray casually glanced around the store, ignorant of the situation's severity like usual.

"Dystopia is really scary, and I kinda messed with some things that are so evil that I can't even explain, including this bounty hunter named Blackout that literally eats people's souls."

"Bounty...hunter?" (y/n) echoed as she felt the blood drain from her face and her heart stop. Now, she partially understood his terror, having thought hunters were legends relegated to old cowboy movies and sci-fi series. What the hell had the boy gotten himself into?

"...And he's hungry for mine, so I came to Swellview because I thought I'd be safe in the Man's Nest, but he clearly found me, and he's gonna eat our souls!"

"...So, you didn't come to Swellview to see us?" Was the first thing Ray asked, his eyebrows pulled upwards to make him look all wounded and pouty.

Perhaps he missed the mark a little, but he'd never let this asshole suck out his sweet girl's soul - she was too precious for that. So, he wasn't overly worried, but he was undoubtedly hurt that his ex-sidekick ran away from his problems under the cover of a friendly visit.

"Not really the time or place, doofus," (y/n) told him quietly, still remarkably holding her nerve as she processed everything.

It was a lot to take in; death, danger, bounty hunters, and soul-sucking, but she silently agreed - it was a kick in the teeth to be an excuse. However, she'd prefer not to be in mortal danger when they were scolding the kid.

"That's what I'm hearing, sweet girl," answered Ray, giving her a look akin to a kicked puppy, even as Henry tried to smooth everything over.

"No, no, no, I did! I did!" He argued, trying to make the man-child feel better. "But I also don't want my soul to get eaten! And I needed to do some laundry...and I wanted (y/n)'s cookies..."

"Oh, well, it's nice to be wanted..." the woman retorted dryly, rolling her eyes at being reduced to a bakery and laundromat. Henry gave her a sheepish look, smiling awkwardly as he stared at his feet.

"Are you mad?" He asked quietly, knowing he'd kept a lot from her, not to mention lying to her face and demanding cookies by the dozen.

"Oh, I'm not mad, Henry..." (y/n) replied, resting her head against the wall while Ray tapped his foot against hers—he'd get what he could when they couldn't hold hands. She looked tired as her head lolled to look at the kid, firmly believing they could have worked something out to avoid this mess.

"I'm just disappointed."

Henry winced at that. He'd heard it a million times from his parents, but coming from his surrogate sister, (y/n) Manchester? It was like death by a thousand cuts to his quivering heart. He could take her being angry as a punishment, but knowing he'd gone down in her eyes? He felt like crying.

"Ooh, ouch..." Ray muttered, having been there and heard that. He felt for the kid, although perhaps not as seriously as he should've done.

"I'm sorry..." Henry whispered, not daring to look at her as his gut ached, feeling all low and nervous like he was gonna throw up. He'd never betrayed their trust like this before, and knowing what he did, he knew Ray would never forgive him for putting his wife in harm's way.

"Don't apologise now, Hen..." said the woman lowly, knowing she'd cry if he cried, and she was trying to be firm. "It's too late."

"I know... I messed up."

"Yeah, you did." She nodded, an exasperated smile as she shook her head.

Part of her wanted him to feel bad; if it weren't for him, she wouldn't have a peg digging into her spine, but he was as human as her--and she would've been a nervous wreck if she knew he was being hunted. And who hadn't told a lie before to spare someone's worry?

So, she showed a little leniency. Perhaps she was tender-hearted, but she saw no benefit in chewing him out now, not when Ray had already given him a tough time for not visiting. That could wait for when they weren't about to be murdered.

"But we've got Danger Force coming to get these things off, and when they do, I'm going slap your silly head for telling lies, young man."

"So, you don't hate me?" the kid asked as he raised his head, giving her the same wobbly smile as when they first met—full of nerves and hope like a little kid.

"I don't think we could ever hate you, Henry Hart--" Just as (y/n) gave him her warmest smile, everything went black.

The lights fizzled out like there'd been a power cut, and that's when any temporarily good feelings in Henry's tummy vanished. A childish squeak passed through his lips, glancing around their dim surroundings with wide eyes to catch any movement.

"What?" Ray asked with a slight chuckle, thinking his old sidekick looked ridiculous as he cowered like a frightened little lamb - not the almighty hero he was.

"It's Blackout, dude!" Henry gasped, suddenly wishing he could run to his mommy as the couple calmly stood beside him. But that was only because ignorance was bliss.

"Yeah, it looks like someone forgot to pay the power bill. Right, darlin'?" The hero joked, nudging his wife's elbow as she smiled and curiously looked around.

"No, no, no. It always goes dark before Blackout shows up!" The boy explained frantically, looking a bit manic as he tugged on his restraints.

"Oh, this guy can turn off lights? Oh, I'm so scared!" Ray exclaimed sarcastically - as arrogant and cocksure as usual.

"Why are you laughing?!"

"What else can he do? Unplug your amp while you're playing guitar?" He scoffed with a bright smile, which only dimmed when his dense brain suddenly realised something, making (y/n) glance away awkwardly.

"And as I say that, I realise Schwoz might have done that on purpose, that little piece of sh--"

Ray would have to take up that fight with the genius later and grill him on killing the groove. First, he would have to deal with their interrupting guest, who made his presence very well known when he kicked the door open and stomped into the store.

A heavy breath left Henry's body as his nemesis stood before him, draped in all-black robes and an imposing steel mask. He looked like Death himself, and the kid would honestly say he was petrified.

Even (y/n) gulped, not liking how this Blackout guy stood at least head and shoulders taller than her with huge hands that could snap her in two. Still, she tried to be brave, glaring at the villain as Ray confidently snorted at him, thinking he looked like a bug in that stupid helmet.

"I should never have come here," Henry murmured, a foreboding sense telling him that the fiend would leave no witnesses behind, "I'm sorry for putting you guys in danger."

"Relax, if this guy puts one finger on my sweet girl, I'll kick his ass into next week," Ray replied, puffing his chest out at the bounty hunter as he flashed a cocky grin at his precious wife.

He didn't look like much, standing there like a lemon--and his muscles weren't as big as his, and he wasn't handsome with that mask. "And this loser doesn't even have a weapon."

As usual, he spoke too soon on that one. With the press of a button on a small doohickey, Blackout summoned one of the bloodiest, craziest, and biggest weapons (y/n) had ever seen.

It was like an axe from hell, spawning blades and spikes on either end of a long, steel pole, meaning he had double the opportunity to chop heads and limbs off. And she didn't doubt that he'd use it without a spare thought.

"Okay, I'm taking that home after we're done with this guy!" Ray gasped, thinking it looked as sick as it was sinister.

"We're gonna die, dude!" But Henry just shook his head, sniffing weakly as he presumed the worst.

Unlike Ray, who imagined nothing but a sweet victory. Then, he'd move on to adoration and glory, followed by a peaceful retirement with his beloved wife and the family they would undoubtedly have. He definitely had no plans to give that up for something as stupid as dying.

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm trying to think of an opening quip..."

"Is now really the time, Captain?" Miss Danger asked quietly, eyeing Blackout, who didn't seem as idle as before now that he had his big stick axe thing.

"Sure, pretty girl. Okay, how about..." he said calmly, channelling his inner wit and doofy humour, "Knock-knock--"

"Doofus, look out!" Her warning came too late, and even if he noticed the bounty hunter owing, there wasn't much Ray could've done.

Blackout charged at him without a second thought, twirling and slamming the butt of his lethal axe into the hero's toned stomach to the sound of (y/n)'s shriek. The impact was so powerful that her doofus blasted through the wall, leaving a colossal hole beside her as Henry gulped, his mouth propped open.

"Typically, you'd say, who's there?" The hero's weak voice came, strained and squeaky, from the back room where he lay. He'd be okay, of course, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch.

"Holy shit..." (y/n) gulped as the hunter ignored his victim's cries. Instead, he expertly twirled his weapon and glanced between her and the kid, seemingly picking between his prey.

"Look..." Henry said pleadingly, despite knowing it was futile, "I'm the one you want, okay? Eat my soul, do you whatever you want to my body--just don't hurt my friends!"

"Hell, no, if Nightlight or whatever his name is wants a fight, he can have one!" The heroine argued, glowering at the villain, who she thought was such a coward.

He didn't give his enemies a fighting chance, and she tugged at her cuffs to at least try and get a swipe at him before her doom. Yet, she didn't have the opportunity because, out of nowhere, a herd of children fell from the sky.

It sounded ridiculous, but that's actually what happened. Before her and Henry's eyes, four bodies tackled Blackout from above, leaving him in a groaning heap. They blinked in surprise as Miles, Mika, Chapa, and Bose lay on the ground, wearing their uniforms, slightly winded but otherwise okay.

"You guys!" (y/n) grinned, having never been so happy to see them, even if they were slightly grumpy from the rough landing.

"Too high!" Miles groaned, having misjudged his teleportation, not that it mattered too much.

"How did you miss the floor, AWOL?" Chapa hissed as she glared and clutched her bruised ribs.

"At least we're here! We could have been in another country! Ungrateful!" The boy argued indignantly, thinking some people were unbelievably rude.

Regardless, they marched over to their fellow sidekicks and quickly freed them, ripping away the freaky handcuffs.

"Oh, my sweet baby boy, Bose!" (y/n) grinned at the boy as he gently freed her. She rubbed at her chafed wrists and hugged him before greeting her other babies, knowing she'd end up baking some thank-you cookies once they made it home.

"Hey, why are the lights out?" Asked Chapa when she didn't see the warm, snuggly hug coming, which she would never admit to enjoying. The darkness hid her rosy cheeks, but they couldn't fight blindly.

"It's Blackout! He's a bounty hunter from Dystopia--" Henry answered as they worked at uncuffing him, too, only the girl quickly turned her back on him.

"I've already stopped listening," she murmured, too busy searching for the convenience store's fuse box so she could jump the lights.

Meanwhile, Ray emerged from the back room, still bolted to the wall he'd been thrown through. He waddled into the front with a massive chunk of plasterboard on his back, looking a little stunned but otherwise okay.

"Doofus!" (y/n) exclaimed happily when she saw him standing there, his stature slightly shortened by the wall's weight. Still, he was a sight for sore eyes when the light returned, and she didn't hesitate to throw her arms around his neck.

"Are you okay?"

"Always when I'm with you, darlin'," Ray replied charmingly, wishing he could hold her in his arms and kiss those pretty lips. But he'd have to wait for when he was free, sort of a sitting duck with his wrists restrained as Blackout got back on his feet.

"Captain Man...what are you doing? Be careful!" The heroine gasped when Ray boldly toddled past her, having to walk on his tiptoes since the plasterboard threatened his balance.

Still, he wasn't about to have some emo bounty hunter dictate stuff to him or endanger his wife, so he tapped him on the shoulder. Blackout turned around, mildly impressed to see the blue and red moron still alive and glaring at him, but Ray never went down without a fight.

"Wasn't done with my quip. I said, knock, knock--" That being said, he was still an idiot.

(y/n) winced when he took another blow to the gut from that spiky axe, stumbling backwards across the room until he fell onto his ass.

"Stay away from him..." She told the villain coldly as she put herself between him and her vulnerable husband, clearly intending to fight. It was a little reckless, but she didn't care, drawing a quiet chuckle from the otherwise silent hunter.

"Sweet girl, don't!" Ray called out to her, happy to say that if he were cut down now, the last thing he'd see was her perfect butt in that skirt, but he didn't want to see her hurt.

In his mind, he wasn't worth it. He shouted at the kids to help her as Henry shook off his bonds, but the latter didn't jump into action.

"Thanks, I owe you one," the kid said to Bose and Mika with a fleeting grin before running for the door. He really was a wimp...

"What?! Dude!"

"Henry!"

"Where are you going?!" Danger Force and (y/n) shouted after him, shocked to see the formerly fearless sidekick flee.

Luckily, Chapa, having zapped the fuse box, was stationed near the door and blocked his exit, meaning he could not escape his problems this time.

"The scary guy's that way, and he's about to peel Miss Danger like a satsuma," Mika told him, pointing at where (y/n) stood with Blackout. She looked a tad overwhelmed.

Maybe it was the fact she foresaw one punch and dodged it, only to receive a sneaky uppercut, or perhaps it was how he then grabbed her by the throat and lifted the woman off her feet that gave it away. Who knows?

"Looks like she's takin' care of him..." Henry gulped, knowing he was lying to himself again when his friend was mercilessly tossed to the side like a ragdoll.

That gave the villain access to Captain Man, who quickly had to endure an excruciating beating from the axe as Blackout tried to chop him in half. Still, to look at him, Ray looked like he was merely being tickled, taking the swings and making jokes like a champ, albeit through gritted teeth.

"After I say knock-knock, you say, who's there? And I say, my fist! And then, before you can say, my fist who, that's when I say, ah!"

"Captain Man!" (y/n) exclaimed, staring through woozy eyes as Blackout tried to cleave her husband's chest again, drawing a pained grunt from him. She tried to get to her feet, a little wobbly after her little scuffle, but she was more worried about him.

"All right, I'll see you guys later. Tell Schwoz he can keep my dirty laundry..." Henry said, giving them a little wave before tiptoeing toward the door - as if he'd ever make a clean getaway.

He made it about five steps, with Danger Force running after him, before (y/n) spotted him, and her visage darkened. The kid could practically pinpoint the moment her glare pierced him, but her booming voice put the fear of God in him.

"Henry Prudence Hart! Stay right where you are!" The heroine shouted, and as she commanded, he froze. Henry shakily turned around, flanked by Danger Force's members as they shoved him away from the door and toward their boss. Their real boss - Ray could never be this scary.

She didn't have to say anything, merely crooking her finger towards herself to beckon him over. Henry's feet moved independently, slapping on the tiled floor with encouragement from Chapa's elbow. He stood before his friend, who stared at him menacingly with her hands on her hips, not knowing where to start.

"Just where do you think you're going?" she asked sternly, feeling like she'd called a child up for a telling-off in front of the entire school.

"Home..." Henry replied, barely audible as he mumbled his words.

"Louder."

"Home," he repeated, clearing his throat so she could hear him. This time, she sighed through her teeth, shaking her head. The disappointment was bitterly wounding.

"Right..." (y/n) nodded in understanding, and for a quick minute, she seemed remarkably calm. But only for a few seconds.

In the blink of an eye, she had her hand in the air before bringing it down on the nape of the kid's neck, slapping him on the back of his head as she'd promised. Each hissed word was punctuated with a slap, making him grimace as the sharp smacks rained down.

"You're. Such. An. Idiot. Henry!"

"Ow!"

"You better say ow! How could you leave us to fight this guy alone?!" The heroine said sharply, blowing on her fingers to cool them off, and she had no sympathy for his little whines.

"I don't know! I--" he tripped over his words, nervous from having so many little eyes on him. He didn't need the children's judgment. They had zero idea what it was like, so he stared at his hands, the floor, and even Ray as he received another pummelling.

"You what?! Huh? What, Henry?" But that merely made (y/n) angrier, and she glared at the boy as he failed to provide a coherent answer.

"What could be so important that you leave me, Captain Man, and Danger Force here to die? Huh?! 'Cause you said, this guy wouldn't blink twice at murdering us!"

"Dude..." Chapa muttered dryly, giving the older kid a judgy stare as he shook. She despised cowards, especially the ones who knowingly allowed kids to do his dirty work. Still, Henry just ignored her, wrapping his arms around himself like a comforting blanket.

"I can't, (y/n/n)! I just can't!"

"Why?" The woman demanded to know and stepped close to him until Henry couldn't take it anymore. His hands flew to his hair, tugging it in exasperation as his teary, bloodshot gaze met hers.

"I'm scared! Okay?! I'm scared to fight Blackout!" He cried, and they all froze. It was an unexpected outburst, and not a word (y/n) often associated with the kid, seeing him as courageous and daring, but he was just a kid.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that - he was so young.

"He's really tough and evil and...I'm just...scared."

"Henry..." (y/n) sighed, placing her hands on his shoulders so he had no choice but to look her in the eye.

She was mildly surprised when she saw the little boy he used to be staring back at despite being so much taller now; he was still thirteen-year-old Henry Hart, and she knew him. And he knew her. "What's my number one rule?"

"Ooh, ooh! No capes!" Bose piped up, his hand in the air, as if they were back in the classroom.

"Good, but no..." She smiled at his antics, liking his enthusiasm, but shook her head. She kindly looked at the tall boy, putting her hands on his smooth, boyish cheeks and squishing them together.

"Even superheroes are allowed to be scared."

"Wow...you're really bringing that one back?" A grin broke out on his face as the simple utterance shot him back in time five years prior.

He remembered every wobble he and Ray ever had and how she was always the one to soothe their worries with the right words.

"It's true," she replied, pulling him into a tight hug and whispering... "It's normal to be afraid, but we don't just run away from the problem! So, stay here and help us fight this guy!"

"Yeah! Captain Man says you're the best superhero he's ever seen," Miles interjected, giving his predecessor a reassuring smile and bump on the arm. He was trying to be encouraging, but Henry was ever the pessimist.

"That does not sound like him," he answered, knowing Ray and his constant ridicule.

"He also says you have a surprisingly good singing voice," Bose added, making the kid smile coyly. He looked a little sheepish, his ears tinged pink, but if there was one thing his ex-boss loved, it was a sing-song, and Henry had been there for a few.

"I guess I'm all right..." he crooned, just as Blackout took another hit at Ray, slamming the electrified axe into his chest. (y/n) was anxious to go and help, turning to the boy with pleading eyes.

"Captain Man says that we're garbage, and the four of us will never measure up to one of you."

"I disagree with that, but whatever..." the heroine muttered to herself when Chapa grumbled, staring jealously at Henry because they would never be him. They would never replace Kid Danger or what he meant to the superheroes, but they didn't want to. They just wanted to make it on their own.

"I'm sure you guys are pretty tough...." replied Henry, thinking they had to have some talent - Ray wouldn't tolerate utter losers. And they had superpowers, right?

"Well, why don't you stay here, and we can show you?" Mika said, challenging the boy with a flash of her determined gaze, backed up by her twin. Even Henry couldn't help but feel fired up, knowing their support was behind him.

"Yeah, let's take this guy down together." Everyone fell silent for a minute, half-smiling at the nice sentiment and half-cringing at how sappy it was. Chapa had to stop herself from puking, (y/n) gritted her teeth, and the others winced.

"Was that cheesy? That felt really cheesy..."

"Eh...maybe a bit. Lil' bit of cheese," the woman told him kindly, trying to spare his feelings whilst Chapa didn't hold back. She shivered at the grossness of friends helping friends for the greater good and all that crap.

But the small jokes and quiet laughs soon died down when the all-too-familiar bang of Blackout's axe coming down cut through the air.

Everyone glanced back at Ray, who had sweat clinging to his temple as he endured another savage whack, and even the bounty hunter grew tired of the never-ending attack.

"Why won't you die?" He growled, hunched over to catch his breath. Obviously, the hero hadn't let slip his indestructibility.

"You ready?" (y/n) murmured to Henry, knowing she'd go for round two with that guy, whether he wanted to fight or not.

But when he turned to her, the kid had a fiery glint in his eye and a cocksure grin that she knew too well. He nodded at her firmly and rolled his shoulders, loosening everything up to take on his greatest enemy - which he should've done in the first place rather than leaving Charlotte and Jasper in danger.

"Let's ride on this fool..." Henry told her and the children, who all readied themselves for a fight.

They lined up, fists clenched and feet firmly planted on the floor; the kid and (y/n) stood hip-to-hip with two kids on either side of them, hoping their powers would actually work for once.

Immediately, AWOL thrust his fist into the air, disappearing in a flash of warm light before reappearing beside the winded villain. Before Blackout could even look up, he kicked out at his weapon, knocking it from his hand across the floor.

He backed off once he wasn't dangerous, and Volt went in, rolling across the floor as Henry and (y/n) dashed forward. The kid punched him first, and Chapa sneakily blasted him in the face with a bolt of lightning, stunning him long enough for the heroine to land a blow on his face.

"That's for hurting my husband!" (y/n) growled, hoping her rough slug stung like a bitch since he tried to slice her doofus. They went back and forth like that, punching and zapping him until ShoutOut yelled at them...

"All of you, move!" She ordered, giving the three enough time to hit the floor before she super-screamed.

The violent sound waves knocked the villain to the ground with a grunt. BrainStorm finished him off, using his telekinesis to lift him into the air and drag him across the room into Henry's force field. It was like hitting a brick wall, leaving the bounty hunter firmly incapacitated.

High-fives, giggles, and fist-bumps passed around the room as the heroes grinned, celebrating a job well done. Why the kid couldn't handle that guy in the first place was beyond them, but they didn't say anything, too proud to feel anything but pure joy.

At last, Ray broke free of the handcuffs, having used Blackout's repeated assaults to weaken them. With a final tug of his super-strength, they shattered, and he was finally freed from the damn things - including the plasterboard.

"Dooooooofus!" (y/n) exclaimed, leaving the kids by the door to run into his embrace once the man was on his feet. She threw her arms around his neck, and Ray grinned, easily lifting her up as he pecked her cheek.

"There's my girl..." he whispered, spinning around before planting her on her feet again. Their lips met gently, earning a few whistles and groans from the kids, but the couple didn't listen.

"You looked so hot when you punched that guy..." Ray muttered into her ear, grinning from ear to ear as he squeezed her waist.

"Yeah? You were watching?" She replied quietly, knowing the kids would see them whispering and make all those puking noises, but it felt like an age since she'd been in his arms--even though it was only an hour or two.

She was pleased to have emphasised her hip movements during the fight when he was watching. She could tell which asset had captured her doofus' gaze simply by how he needily nuzzled into her neck.

"Couldn't help it..." the hero answered, kissing down her neck before glancing at the crumpled villain behind her. Part of him was disappointed in himself that he hadn't protected her--left her to be thrown around by that asshole, and it fuelled his need for revenge.

"Watch this..."

(y/n) followed her hulking lover as he plodded toward Blackout, a little unsteady on his feet since he'd endured a few too many hits. Still, he loomed over the pile of black robes, glaring down at the hunter who dared to hurt his precious wife.

"Hey, Blackout..." he called to him, only to get no reply from the snoozing criminal. "What'd you get when you cross a duck with a Shih Tzu? Blackout?"

"I think he's a bit...unconscious, doof," said his wife, who hovered by his side and grabbed onto his beefy arm, loving how muscly it felt under her hands. But that wasn't good enough for the man-child, who'd missed out on his excellent quip and lost his hilarious joke.

That made him mad - furious, even - so he did the normal thing. He kicked him in the spine as if it would be a wake-up call.

"Blackout!" He hissed, booting him again, but he didn't even squeak in pain. There wasn't even a flicker of life in the guy, making (y/n) look at the kids with a panicked expression.

"You don't think he's...do you?" she asked, looking at them wide-eyed before turning to Ray. He blew out his cheeks at her, just knowing that he'd have to be the one to scrape him up off the floor and dump the body...somewhere.

"Okay, that's your one for the year," he told Danger Force, who pouted that they'd lost their privilege so quickly - and Chapa didn't even get to savour it.

Ray got his weird, spiky, axey thing, which he quickly retrieved from Blackout's fingertips. Why couldn't she mildly maim a guy?

~The Man's Nest~

The following day was a sad one.

With his fears about Blackout and instant death, Henry's brief but glorious visit to his surrogate parents was over, even if he didn't want it to be. Despite everything - the lies, secrecy and trickery - he enjoyed seeing them again, bonding with Ray like old times and eating too much of (y/n)'s food.

He felt safe, loved, and wanted again, but with age came responsibility, and that was in Dystopia - he knew that now. He knew skipping town because of a few butterflies wasn't right, so it was time to put it right. And that would undoubtedly break the old man's heart.

"Ho-kay, laundry all done," Schwoz said as he finished folding the last of the kid's freshly washed and pressed clothing. He'd nearly killed himself trying to clean the small mountain, but it was worth seeing that cheeky smile again, putting it all into a big sack for the journey home.

"Thanks, Schwoz," Henry replied, tucking his PearPhone into his back pocket after finally responding to Charlotte. She'd give him hell when he returned, but he deserved it--and she was much scarier than Blackout.

"I left a little present in the pocket of one of your pairs of jeans."

"Aw, thanks..." the kid grinned, a faint blush painting his cheeks since he wasn't used to such affection. "What is it? Like, a little piece of candy?"

"All I can say is...it's alive," said the genius, making the boy pause and give him a suspicious, concerned look. Typical Shwoz...

"What? Seriously?!"

"It was nice to see you! I love your wig!" The bald weirdo exclaimed before scurrying off, greeting Ray and (y/n) as they passed through the metal door.

The kid frowned at what he said, touching his very real hair, but he ignored it, smiling sadly at them. He hauled the laundry bag over his shoulder and tried not to appear gloomy, knowing he'd never make it to the tube if the woman cried.

"Don't forget your Nacho Ball!" Ray told him as he handed over a sack full of greasy deliciousness. Anyone could see he was smiling bravely, showing the kid his most charming smile as (y/n) reassuringly squeezed his hand.

"Whoever sits next to me on the plane is gonna hate me..." the kid joked - anything to try and lighten the mood.

"Because of the farts?" Ray sniggered, giggling with his old sidekick like children as (y/n) shook her head and sniffed. She promised herself she wouldn't cry...

"I keep telling you not to eat dairy," she scolded him, clutching the Tupperware box in her free hand like a lifeline, which she needed when an awkward silence fell over them.

Over six years together, and she couldn't remember a time when no one had something to say...

"Oh, I made you some oatmeal-raisin cookies...for the flight," she said, quickly giving him the box, and her arms fell by her sides again, watching the kid try to juggle everything. "I would say save some for Charlotte and Jasper, but I doubt they'll last that long."

"No way..." Henry laughed, tucking the precious baked goods into his bag so he could nibble on them after the Nacho Ball. A final, familiar taste of home... "Thanks, (y/n/n)."

"Y'know...you don't have to go back to Dystopia," Ray told him slowly, hoping his last-ditch attempt would change the boy's mind.

It was almost impossible and a little late to stop now, but he could at least try as he curled his arm around his wife's waist and tucked his hand into her back pocket. He needed an old, squishy friend to pat to settle his nerves.

"No, I do..." Henry replied, glancing at the floor before giving his old friend a sad half-smile, "Running to Swellview just put you guys in danger."

"Yeah, but they took care of it, right?" The hero sniffed, gesturing to the children across the room, who barely knew what day it was, thanks to the adorable distractions he'd organised.

(y/n) was unbelievably jealous. She stared longingly at the four puppies nestled in each kid's arms and wished he'd let her have one. She helped save the day...why couldn't she cuddle one?

"They sure did, dude. That's a tough group of kids you guys have there."

"It always surprises us how much grit and determination each of them has," the heroine replied, trying not to sound all babyish and pouty as she fondly watched Danger Force by their lockers.

"Right, sweet girl..." Ray muttered, wiggling his fingers in the pocket against her butt, earning a light smack on the arm before his mischievous grin fell. "...Oh my God, they're baby-talking the puppies..."

"This was so worth it!" They overheard Miles exclaim as he petted his little French Bulldog, and the heroes couldn't help but smile.

"Later, Dangers!" The kid called out to them, and Miles, Mika, Chapa, and Bose looked up from the cute creatures and grinned.

"A-buh-bye, Henwy!"

"Byeeeee!"

"Have a safe trip!" They exclaimed in silly, squeaky voices, and to Ray's exasperation, they used the puppies' paws to wave goodbye, acting as if they were talking.

So, at last, the moment had come. Henry's flight was scheduled to leave a couple of hours, and he'd stretched his time in the Nest until the last second. Now, he had to go, turning to his tearful friends with a bittersweet smile.

"Wanna hug it out?" He offered, knowing (y/n/n) wouldn't let him go without one.

"Nah..." Ray shook his head stubbornly, hating the aching feeling in his chest like someone had clawed it out. He didn't want anyone to see him cry - especially Chapa - but his sweet girl didn't care, stepping forward and pulling the boy toward her in the blink of an eye.

"Well, I do!" She cried, tightly looping her arms around the kid's waist and burying her face into his chest. "My baby's not leaving without his goodbye hug..."

"Best hugs in Swellview..." Henry whispered, savouring the warm snuggliness for a few seconds as she clung to him, nuzzling his plaid shirt.

Glancing up, he saw the moody hero staring at them, a twinkle of jealousy in his blue eyes. When Henry beckoned him with two fingers, knowing he knew more about the woman's hugs than most, it wasn't surprising that Ray's stubbornness melted.

"...Maybe just one hug." He conceded and quickly joined his wife, wrapping his arms around her and the kid so she was sandwiched between them.

Henry patted the man's back as best he could, feeling the weight of both of them leaning on his body, and whilst it was immense, he wasn't mad. If anything, he savoured it, knowing he wouldn't have it again for many months; on the other side of the world where no one cared about him the way they did.

"I'll call you when I get home," he muttered to the heroine, grunting slightly when Ray's arms tightened - keeping his two favourite people in the world right where he wanted them.

"Don't forget..." (y/n) said in a joking, warning tone, having never felt so content in a hug before, running her hands up and down the boy's back. "And when you get home, you make sure to tell Charlotte and Jasper that I'm thinking about them..."

"I will..." he nodded, imagining his friends' grins when they received her love - even if he'd undoubtedly have eaten the cookies.

"And keep yourself safe," she added, stretching the moment for every it was worth. "And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call us. Not for a second..."

"Okay, (y/n/n). Don't worry..."

"I will worry..." She sniffed, feeling the tears pricking at her eyes, even as her husband's huge chest curled around her body. "I'll always worry when my babies aren't at home."

"I'll call..." Henry promised, squeezing her and Ray one final time before when his phone dinged. "Oh--that's my Goober."

"Yeah..." He was a bit stuck, trapped by her hug and Ray's immovable, muscly arms, and even though she loosened up, the man had no intention of letting go.

"I gotta go, guys..."

"Okay..." (y/n) said quietly, trying to save her sobs for once he'd gone, but even after her arms released him, Ray remained. He was lost in the moment, his hand locked on his wrist as the kid tried to push him away.

"Ray, I gotta go!"

"Doofus!" The woman groaned, feeling his hug grow a little tighter to the point where she felt like she was being steam-rolled. "Doofus, I can't breathe..."

"Ray, I gotta go!"

Henry took drastic measures when he didn't respond again, pushing the couple away with a small, light force field. It wasn't too strong, knowing he wouldn't live another day if he hurt her, but it broke the guy out of his daydream, leaving them all tangled up.

"Yeah, yeah..." Ray mumbled, draping himself over his pretty girl as Henry shook his head mirthfully. "Get outta here! Protect that Goober rating!"

"Yeah..." He nodded sadly, looking over his shoulder one last time as his PearPhone pinged - the sign of an irate taxi driver.

The air was heavy and stagnant as he shuffled to the tube, feeling like he'd hardly been in Nest for two seconds, and now, he was leaving. But, there was one little surprise left...

"Ow!"

To his horror, when he reached into his back pocket for his phone, something bit his fingertip, latching on and not letting go. When he pulled it out, he discovered Schwoz's little present—a delightfully tiny snapping turtle, much to everyone's confusion.

"Gotcha!" An evil chuckle came across the room when the metal door rose to reveal the genius lurking behind them, kneeling on the floor in his stupid pinafore.

"Schwoz!" Ray exclaimed angrily, but the little weirdo disappeared again, giggling manically as the kid flicked the little critter away and rubbed his sore finger.

"That really hurt..." he muttered, stepping onto the tube pad with all his baggage as the hero stared at him longingly, wishing

Who knew when his next visit would be?

"Wait!"

8 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Note

Would Max be down using his powers during sex!? (ESPECIALLY HIS ICE BREATH AND TELEKINESIS) Please I need ur opinion🙏

Ur amazing 🫶🫶🫶

-N✿

I fucking love you so much anon. I love you like- this wow thank you

He definitely does, he's a cocky little bastard.

During a family dinner you're sat next to him and he's rubbing your clit through your shorts

You looked up from your plate over at him "Max please stop.." he'd look back at you confused "stop what? I'm just eating my chicken" your boyfriend would take another bite of food while the strokes sped up.

And when you're alone?! Wow he's just absolutely insane so

He had you laying on his bed naked while he played video games or worked on a new invention. Your back arched off the bed with a moan leaving your mouth "yeah? You fucking love dating a super villain don't ya?" Your moans got progressively louder and more squeaky. "I don't even have to touch you to have you a moaning mess on my bed isn't that right?" You were too embarrassed to respond because you knew he was right "I asked you a question."

AND THE ICE BREATH?!?!? so at first you were curious so you asked him if he would use it on you and he's all like "🤨📸???"

"does it feel good?" He would ask genuinely curious, not to dirty talk you.

And it did, it was like an ice cube had been placed on your clit "mhmm.." and now he's confused because like ??? But if you like it he likes it so.

And something else that's my personal headcannon...is his strength that he definitely has inherited from his dad 😮‍💨😮‍💨

He'd hold you in his arms while fucking 🫢🫨

241 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 7: Chapa's Crush (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*friends, smut-lovers, dangerverse nerds, lend me your ears. or eyes. technically this is reading material.

I LIVE! the re-emergence of Danger Force season 3 from the darkest pit of hell made my motivation for these books plummet, just knowing credenza is blowing holes in my ship like the literally evil bitch she is. but we move. i will give ray manchester the ending he deserves and i have smut.

AND HENRY! OMG ITS HENRY! but yee, enjoy this one. it's one of the better eps imo :)

~Nacho Ball...the close one~

Of all her days of fighting crime, Miss Danger would not remember this one with a golden reverence.

She'd never been so humiliated in what should've been just another call-out. Another day at the office, if the office was the big, wide world, filled with criminals and villains who needed a good hiding. It wasn't like this job was anything complicated or unique - merely a bust-up about some lowlife burglar, so she, Ray, and Danger Force headed to the Nacho Ball at the foot of Mount Swellview.

Just the location was a bad omen.

No one liked that Nacho Ball, not even her doofus, who wasn't fussed about where his Mexican-based cuisine came from. He usually didn't care if the staff were useless, if the food was questionably out-of-date, if the toilets were cleaned, or if the city's scum liked to hang out in the car park.

But this joint...God, it was like a nuclear-hit cesspit.

But, ever the heroic do-gooders they were, the team went to the godforsaken flytip, gritting their teeth and trying not to puke when the oily, unclean stench hit their noses. All they had to do was go in, take care of the robber, and get out. It sounded so simple...so why wasn't it?

"Put the balls in the bag!" An obnoxious voice demanded, drawing a deep growl from Ray across the restaurant. He and his beloved wife glared at their enemy as he coolly stood at the counter, throwing commands around since he had the space, time, and nerve to do so.

He wasn't anyone special, not on the same level as Doctor Minyak or The Toddler. Still, Takeout, as he liked to be known, had done the impossible. He'd bested the greatest superheroes in town.

Of course, Captain Man and Miss Danger would've loved to drag him out by the ridiculous paper bag he wore to mask his identity, but they couldn't. Literally, they couldn't move, fight, or retreat, sitting in goddamn trash cans of all things while he raided a free meal from the poor cashier girl.

"I'm putting! Oh, this day is the worst!" Mandy, Swellview's biggest crybaby and most dramatic twenty-something-year-old, whined. Still, she could be excused today - she was in a prickly situation.

That was the most humiliating thing, not that he'd scored an obvious win, but that (y/n) had to endure the foul-smelling goop seeping into her uniform as she squatted in the recycling. It was degrading, and Danger Force was as useful as a chocolate teapot; Mika and Bose were also incapacitated, Miles was God knows where, and Chapa...she might as well not have reported for duty.

"Okay, we might need to take the L on this one..." Ray sighed, punching the walls of his trash can for the fiftieth time, but like before, they were surprisingly sturdy.

Luckily, they could poke their heads out of the holes at the top, but that was the only blessing - he couldn't kiss, embrace, or even touch his sweet girl. Even if their cans were beside one another, it was torture--more than a doofus could bear since she was in a bad mood from their defeat.

"Really, doofus? What gave you that idea?" (y/n) asked dryly, flashing him an uncharacteristic pout as she ignored whatever the concoction was she was sitting in. She just had to get the trash can for liquids - ice cream, soda, coffee, and any other fluid mixing into one gungy mess inside her boots.

It hurt Ray to hear her so bitter and disappointed, thinking he could've done many things differently in their fight with Takeout, not that it mattered now. Still, hope wasn't lost when a quarter of the children roamed freely.

"Don't worry, darlin'. That's what I would say if we didn't have a secret weapon to bust through that window!" He exclaimed, and they expectantly turned to the entrance with optimistic smiles. "AWOL, now!"

It should've been the comeback of the century, but as usual, something went wrong. Miles slammed into the window with a high-pitched, girly scream, slamming his body into the glass with a dull thud, which wasn't strong enough to shatter it. He dangled from the roof, suspended by his sailing gear, which had been meant to help him shimmy down the building for a surprise attack.

But he just looked like a tied-up turkey, swaying and shrieking like an idiot, ensnared by his own damn rope.

"Ow..."

"What the...What happened to you?" Miss Danger asked incredulously, worried that the boy had hurt himself, but she also couldn't imagine what had gone wrong. The plan was so simple...

"There was a butterfly on the roof, and then I got scared, and then I got tangled up in this rope, and could someone please help me?!" Miles pleaded in a strained voice, feeling like he was about to pass out from how the ropes squeezed him. Yet no one could ignore his Jackanory story - something about a butterfly?

"Why are you so scared of butterflies?" Ray questioned, frowning because he couldn't think of a less scary creature. Watch out for those rabid butterflies; they're up there with flesh-eating bunnies and demonic puppies.

"Because they're scary!" He, however, begged to differ.

"Okay, forget the butterflies! Just teleport out of there!" (y/n) told him, sensing they were all getting cabin fever. Poor Mika and Bose had been rendered powerless by Takeout's cunning, and Ray had kissed her in over an hour. He was getting honey-sweet withdrawal symptoms.

"I can't teleport unless my arms are free..." the boy replied like it was apparent, waggling his fingers a little, but that was all he could do. He had to have the world's uncanniest luck since the rope pinned his arms to his torso, rendering his powers useless.

"Dahhhhh, okay, great!" Ray muttered, grimacing as the situation grew bleaker, and now, he was out of ideas. "AWOL is teleporting into a wall, ShoutOut's mouth is covered up...which is actually kinda nice, actually."

The girl hummed in offence at that; her furious words turned into harmless, if angered, mumbles since the robber had hastily taped over her mouth. If she couldn't talk, she couldn't super-scream, and the trash can left her as a mere spectator, just like her teachers. Another blow to their dignity.

"Don't forget that BrainStorm is taking a much-needed nap!" (y/n) noted, rolling her eyes as she glanced at the boy, who'd also been bamboozled, not that it took much effort from Takeout to outsmart him. One way or another, he'd tricked him into wearing a blindfold, and if Bose couldn't see, he couldn't move shit with his mind.

"I'm awake!... But I'm blind! I can't see!" He gasped when her loud voice woke him, only to freak out when he saw nothing but darkness. Such was his genius...

"Relax, kid. You're just blindfolded," the heroine tried to comfort him, but it was useless. Bose was too distraught, and if they ripped the duct tape from his eyes, they'd find it dampened with his tears.

"Curse you, faaaaaaate!" With so much whining, he was nowhere near close to being fight-ready, so that left one final option - the girl in the trash can at the end of the row. And despite her typical tenacity and guts, she'd been suspiciously temperate all morning.

"Over to you, Volt!" Ray called out to Chapa, who slouched over the side of her can, letting her arms dangle freely as she hummed and cooed about nothing and everything. "Your hands are free, and you can zap that guy with your electricity. So...go ahead!"

"Did anybody notice how blue the sky is today?" The girl said out of nowhere, ignoring what her boss had ordered.

She'd been saying weird stuff like that for days, smiling sweetly to herself and being strangely lovely to everyone to the point where it was concerning. It wasn't in her nature, making (y/n) peer at her worriedly since she made no move to save them.

"Well, yeah, it rained yesterday, so it's lovely, but would you just zap him?!" She asked through gritted teeth, noticing how Ray stared hungrily at her lips when she eyed the situation at the counter. He was ravenous and needy, and honestly, so was she. There was only so much trash-swimming she could take.

"What is this?! I said I wanted Nacho Balls--nacho money!"

"Well, I'm sorry! Robbers usually want money!" Mandy whimpered when Takeout threw fistfuls of dollar bills back in her face, stressing her out even more. But there was a silver lining; at least his back was turned, and if she was quick, Chapa could still save the day.

"He's getting away, Volt! Zap him!" Ray warned her again as Takeout marched toward the door with his lunch tightly gripped, but the girl still didn't move. She didn't even look bothered - very strange.

"Okay, that's my robbery..." the criminal cockily announced to the dingy restaurant, waving to the terrified staff and sparse customers. "I wanna say thank you to the close Nacho Ball..."

"Volt! What the hell's wrong with you?! Light him up!" (y/n) hissed to her friend, hoping their unique connection would help get through to her, but there was nothing. No reaction or acknowledgement; Chapa sighed happily and smiled softly, looking like everything was right in the world despite the robbery happening before her.

"Lotta people say you're trash--" that joke wasn't funny, making Captain Man glare at the bastard as he poked fun with a free snack, "but you've been a great place to rob."

"We--said--zap--him!" Ray yelled, yet it still fell on deaf ears. He was beyond frustrated, wishing her had his wife's perfume in his nose rather than the stench of week-old fast food, but nooooo, Chapa was having some weird aneurysm.

"Have a lovely afternoon!"

"Aw, you too!" She called after the villain, flashing a sickly sweet grin at Takeout as he stomped away. It was baffling; she didn't flinch as she allowed him to escape--even going as far as congratulating him and exchanging pleasantries.

"What's wrong with you?! You let him get away! There's no way he's coming back!" The hero snapped, deeply dissatisfied with how poor the mission had gone, but the lack of a reaction was worse.

Chapa didn't even have the grace to look him in the eye and explain herself - she wouldn't look so cheerful when he got hold of her. But, like always, (y/n) was the moderator, sitting as pretty as possible in her trash can whilst her doofus glared daggers. And then, a ray of hope--something no one expected to see.

"Wait, doof, he's back!" She gasped happily, mildly surprised to see Takeout waltzing back into the Nacho Ball with his usual cocky swagger. Still, he had the ego to back himself up, sauntering to the counter and the scared girl behind it.

"Forgot hot sauce!"

"The coveted second chance! This almost never happens!" Ray squealed, eyeing his young sidekick as he tried to inspire some action and passion in her. "Zap him, Volt!"

Yet, Chapa smiled at him like the words went in one ear and out the other, looking almost simple and childlike. Even with the best heroic opportunity in her lap, she didn't leap from her trash can and rain down hell; she merely sat there and sighed for the fiftieth time.

"Does anybody want to go for a walk in the park later? Maybe do some painting?"

"What?" Miss Danger frowned, knowing Chapa liked many things - fighting, cursing, pranks, and bullying - but babyish activities like painting and afternoon strolls weren't her style. She'd never be seen dead acting like some daffodil.

"I've been getting into painting..."

"You should be getting into zapping!" Her teacher growled, not giving a damn about what she did in her spare time. Ray only needed her when they had a mission, and she'd agreed to be his superhero student - his patience was wearing thin. "Zap him!"

"Okay, I'm leaving for realsies this time, and I won't be back!" Takeout declared as he ambled out of the restaurant again, relaxed and unbothered since Danger Force posed no threat. He left without incident, ruining Chapa's chance at redemption.

"Noooooo!" It was a devasting blow for Ray, and (y/n) gave him a sympathetic pout as he whimpered and hung his head.

In decades of crime fighting, he'd never been so humiliated, barely able to give her a teary look as Miles, Mika, and Bose sighed, wondering what was wrong with their friend.

They didn't want her to go, but if the man kicked her out of SWAG, they wouldn't blame him. Her actions were inexcusable, and it wasn't like she could redeem herself until a paper-bag-wearing prick tootled through the automatic doors again.

"Forgot my lollipop!"

"Sweet cheese, I don't believe it..." (y/n) muttered to herself as the world's most forgetful villain returned to the counter, insistent on getting every last freebie to make the robbery worthwhile. Chapa didn't know how lucky she was, not that she showed any thankfulness, staring off into space while the others gawped in awe.

"The unheard-of third chance! This has literally never happened in the history of crime-fighting, but here it is, Volt! All you gotta do is lift your finger and zap him--now, what are you waiting for?!" Ray screeched, and if it wasn't for his restricted arms, he would've torn his precious hair out.

"Okay, that's phone, keys, lollipop--that should do it!" The villain mumbled, patting his pockets before walking past the useless heroes for a final time. He didn't bother looking at them, but he couldn't help a little mockery since he'd never expected Captain Man and Co to be so...easy. "Again, I've been Takeout! Thank you, and...get wrecked!"

With a final dab--the cringiest way to rub it in their faces--the crook escaped to his getaway car, leaving the silent, morose team looking stupid. They definitely took the L on that one, but there was only one person to blame...

"Did he dab?" Bose asked, sensing it was the right moment - what he would've done. "Sounded like the perfect place for a dab."

"Unfortunately, yes. He dabbed," (y/n) confirmed with a tired frown, wondering how a grown man could lower himself to the level of playground kiddies. But a burn was a burn; she only wanted to hide in the shower to avoid the shame and remove the stink.

"He dabbed us into oblivion..." Her doofus added gruffly as they all turned to Chapa, who, as always, slumped over her trash can with that stupid smile, acting like it was all peace, love, rainbows, and John Lennon songs.

Something was seriously wrong with her, and it was starting to freak them out. But there was one thing the kids and (y/n) knew: they needed to work it out before Ray got his hands on her.

She wouldn't be smiling if he did.

~The Man's Nest~

It took a good hour or so for Ray to calm down - that's how furious he was.

The veins on his temple bulged out, his fists were clenched, and every footstep sent shockwaves through the ground as he stomped into the main room. The kids had been sitting in there since they'd returned, informing Schwoz about how poorly the mission had gone, to say the least. Even he had to admit that Chapa had fucked up, whether she'd meant to or not.

The girl was wisely absent, although (y/n) couldn't be sure if that was deliberate. For all she knew, she could've been away with the fairies, off in some fantasy land like the last few days, but she still counted her lucky stars.

Her doofus was in no fit state to see her, his mood darkening when Danger Force gave him their sorriest faces, and even those cutesy, innocent pouts couldn't melt the ice around his heart. Of course, his darling wife had done her best to get him to relax, talking to him in her calmest voice and using all her feminine wiles whilst they freshened up their soiled uniforms, but it was useless.

Ray was pissed the fuck off, and it showed. Yet, Bose and the Macklin Twins couldn't help but feel a little miffed, too. After all, what had they done wrong? Chapa was the idiot here, not them.

"That was the single worst mission I've ever been involved with!" Ray growled as he paced the room with Schwoz and (y/n) by his side.

She was there to ensure he was fair and not too harsh, the voice of reason amongst all the chaos, but Schwoz, no matter how uninvolved he was, just loved the gossip. His job could be tedious sometimes, and it was nice not to be on the receiving end of Ray's temper for once.

"You people make me sick!" The genius spat, earning himself a slight frown from the heroine as she listened to the rant with the same frustrated disinterest as her babies. She was upset, too, but this wasn't solving anything...

"I'm seriously considering retiring with my sweet girl and living in the country--just like she wants!" That made her pause and look at her doofus with hopeful eyes, even if it was an exaggeration. Ray would never, not now at least, but it was the thought that counted, and (y/n) Found herself smiling at how he'd contemplated screwing it all to live out their dreams.

Nothing much; just a house, a couple of kids, a dog perhaps, and them, happily married. It was a picturesque fantasy, but just something to hold onto at that moment - as if he would ever leave his life's work behind without finishing the job. He would need successors first...

"You should fire all of them!"

"Okay, Schwoz, what has this got to do with you?" (y/n) asked as she folded her arms, utterly disgusted when the genius gathered all the saliva in his mouth and made a show of spitting it on the ground. He hadn't been there, barely understanding what was happening - he could be such a sheep sometimes, following whatever her silly doofus did.

"Yeah! You tell 'em, (y/n/n)!" Miles exclaimed, glad that someone was on their side, but that death glare from the Captain could kill.

He wasn't happy being blamed, sighing deeply before offering a semi-apology, which was the best any of them could give without Chapa taking the hit. She was the one to blame; whilst he and his friends weren't perfect, they tried to do something in the heat of battle.

"Look, mistakes were made, but dude! You need to calm down!"

"The only people who are allowed to say you need to calm down to me is my wife--and Taylor Swift via song!" Ray replied harshly, causing eye rolls across the room because he could be so dramatic. He said that, but not even (y/n) could make him calm down, reaching out to take his beefy arm when he started getting a little too moody for her liking.

"Yeah, well, me and you are gonna have Bad Blood if you don't stop shouting, Raymond," she retorted to her Lover as he glared at the Innocent kids.

In hindsight, he Should've Said No when they begged him to teach them how to be superheroes - their irritating problems were enough to make anyone an Anti-Hero or even turn his sweet girl into a Mad Woman, so much so that he just wanted to find a Getaway Car and run from it all. But, Long Story Short, this was Nothing New, and, as always, he was Mr Perfectly Fine. Forever and Always.

"Why are you mad at us?" Mika asked indignantly as the man huffed, merely allowing his beloved wife to touch him since it was the only thing capable of sweetening the whole ordeal. She was the only one who could get through to him, and even that was like talking to a brick wall.

"Yeah! Chapa's the one who let the bad guy get away!" Miles agreed. Even the doofus couldn't argue with that, snarling under his throat when the girl's chubby, smiling face came into his mind and how she hummed and cooed throughout that disaster of a mission.

"Three times!"

"Where is she anyway?!" He asked sharply, wondering if she was off somewhere, hanging her head in shame. That would be ideal, but (y/n) doubted it - something weird was happening with her.

"Don't look at me. I'm blind!" Bose replied with his usual aloof naivety, still wearing the blindfold Takeout had wrapped around his head as he sniffed the air. "But I think it's enhancing my other senses... Is someone eating Nacho Ball?"

All he knew was that the deep-fried meal he'd snagged before they'd left the revolting restaurant was delicious despite the foul conditions in which it had been made. You couldn't pay (y/n) to eat there, but he was content to stay in his little bubble of stupidity - as frustrating as that was.

"Oh, Bose, sweetie..." the woman muttered as she stepped forward to peel the tape from around his head, knowing it would stay there forever if it was left to him--even if his hands were now untied.

She wondered if he'd ever been to school. Still, knowing him, he'd probably forgotten to go in when his parents dropped him off, smiling sweetly when the Man's Nest's bright lights burst forward in bright colours like nothing had been wrong at all.

"Oh, it's me!" He exclaimed as she discarded the blindfold, grinning at his teacher with the happiest look, making Ray groan. How had it come to this?

"Thanks, (y/n)!"

"No worries, Bosey..." She replied dryly before turning to her stressed husband, cooing sympathetically as she reached to stroke his face with her soft hands. She hated seeing him so upset, but it was worse knowing she couldn't do anything to help him--nothing she tried worked whilst the ever-absent Chapa still mooched around the place.

"I think she's in the bathroom..." Miles noted as he watched their lovey-dovey interaction with a slight grimace, thinking she didn't need to peck his nose like that, but at least it made him smile for a tenth of a second. Anything to stop him being so moody.

"Great! Let's talk about her before she comes back!" Ray exclaimed, suddenly dragging his wife over to the couch with Schwoz following closely to hunch over and gossip about the girl. He wasn't beneath that - if it helped them get to the bottom of it, he would try anything.

"I personally don't think it's very nice to talk about people who are not around to defend themselves..." Mika said nobly, and (y/n) was inclined to agree with her. She didn't understand why they couldn't just talk to Chapa about what had gotten into her - something that Ray was firmly against - but even Mika couldn't help herself.

It was normal to whisper and gossip--and the girl convinced herself that it was all for a good cause, even if it felt a little mean. So, to hell with her nobility, lowering her voice just in case her friend wandered in halfway through.

"But can we talk about how weird she has been lately?!"

"Yeah!" Everyone agreed. It wasn't just today; Chapa had been acting strangely for days, if not weeks, almost like she'd had a brain transplant with her total opposite.

"I sneezed the other day--and she said bless you!" Miles hissed, drawing gasps from around the room. Usually, she'd laugh in his face and make some mean comment about flying snot rockets or something, but no - that behaviour was simply unthinkable, almost vomit-inducing, to Normal Chapa.

"Last week, I lent her my pen, and she said...thanks!" Bose added, only deepening the mystery since that was highly uncharacteristic of the girl. (y/n) wasn't even sure if thanking people was in her vocabulary, but it got even weirder. "Then, she returned the pen!"

"Okay, that's a step too far!" She exclaimed, clutching her temple in worry for her prickliest baby, who was definitely experiencing some sort of mid-tween crisis of some kind.

Chapa might have been obnoxious and rude, but that didn't mean she was any less loved; underneath, she was a very troubled soul, and those were the kind that needed the most care. And (y/n) would give it to her, no matter what, although she wasn't quite sure what she was up against. Maybe she'd just watched a few too episodes of My Little Pony?

"Well, that confirms what I've suspected for a while now..." Ray remarked, slinging his arm around his sweet girl's shoulders when he noticed how tense she looked. He'd soon sort that out, coming up with the only explanation he could think of, and, for him, it wasn't even that far-fetched.

"Chapa's possessed, and we're gonna have to end her." He reached behind the couch to grab an alarmingly large blaster he'd stowed there for emergencies, no matter how many times (y/n) told him it was a tripping hazard.

They'd had burglar troubles in the past, and this was his insurance, booting up the heavy device so he could fire at will, making his young students refrain cautiously when he waved it around the place.

"Or, doofus, or..." (y/n) butted in quickly, jumping in to point the blaster away from Mika's face when she saw a million terrible incidents flash before her eyes. She smiled at him and gently took it from his hands for safekeeping since she didn't like the idea of shooting poor Chapa either, no matter how much he thought she might deserve it.

"Maybe we figure out what's going on with her and try to help her work it out," she suggested calmly, which sounded much more reasonable to the kids - a word that didn't exist in the Dictionary of Raymond.

"Oh, sweet girl..." he chuckled gently, brushing his fingers against her cheeks before going behind the couch again. To her bewilderment, he pulled out another ridiculously huge blaster, identical to the one she cradled in her arms and still just as deadly.

"Veto! We'll have to end her!"

"Raymond..." (y/n) said in what was well-known to be her warning voice, and even the great Captain Man shrivelled when she directed it at him. He expected to hear another lecture, clutching the gun tightly when her stern stare met his when, suddenly, the metal door opened. Speak of the devil...

"Hi, friends!" Chapa greeted them sweetly as she waltzed into the room, showered, and dressed in a new set of trendy clothes - a hairbrush still in her hand. The smile she gave them was blinding, yet concerning, with none of them knowing what to say as the couple hurried to hide the blasters and look casual. Not that such a kind girl would ever scold them for anything.

"Hey, girl!" Ray replied stiffly, sounding utterly ridiculous as he pulled his wife into her side in a romantically innocent embrace, secretly signalling for the kids to play along as he canoodled her.

"Hiiiii!"

"Welcome back!"

"How was the bathroom?" The others said brightly, sounding too forced and nervous for Chapa to believe anything other than the obvious fact that they hadn't been talking about something positive. And the fact that they stared at her like that made it painfully apparent that it had been about her.

"Were you guys just talking about me?"

"Well, I personally don't think it's nice to do that, but Mika was just saying she thought you really messed up today," Ray rambled, ratting out the poor kid in five seconds flat as she floundered to try and explain the deep shit he'd just put her in. He'd do anything to stay pristine and perfect, hugging his pretty girl as she smiled nervously, pulled tight to his chest, to keep her by his side.

Mika hated to be the one her friend glared at, knowing it usually came before pain like lightning did before thunder. Well, if they were going to be grasses, there was little honour amongst them.

"He was gonna end you!"

"And he'd had every right to..." The rosy-cheeked girl replied calmly as she passed Schwoz, who sneakily touched her hairbrush as she did, plucking a hair before burying himself in some doohickey machine by the door. No one noticed, not even Chapa, staring at the ground in shame as her friends wondered what she'd become.

"The bad guy got away, and it was all my fault."

"Well, you guys heard her..." Ray remarked, quickly untangling himself from (y/n) since, in his mind, that was like permission. Reaching behind the couch again, he retrieved the discarded blaster and turned it on, much to everyone's horror.

"Ray Manchester!" His wife scolded him, bravely stepping in front of her student to shield her from the searing plasma, not that her doofus would ever fire at her.

He paused when their eyes met, softening completely as his finger went limp on the trigger, its nose dropping to the floor. He couldn't fire at her, his darling wife, not now, not ever, and the girl took her chance while they made goo-goo eyes at each other, seeing her escape across the room.

"Ooh! I know how I can make it up to all of you! Who's hungry?" She asked politely.

"I could eat," Bose replied, despite the half-eaten Nacho Ball still in his hand, which he still nibbled on. He was a glutton through and through, but it gave his friend enough excuse to skedaddle out of there, edging toward the door inch by inch.

"Then, it's settled! I'll go to Hip Hop Purée and get some num-nums for our tum-tums. Sound good? Okay, I'm gonna head down there now! Just text me your orders!"

"Wait, you don't have a phone!" (y/n) called after her, feeling like their meeting had been utterly pointless when the young girl ran off, disappearing through the door she'd walked in through. It was like she couldn't leave quick enough, barely sparing them a glance as she utterly ignored her.

"Byyyyyyyyyyeeeeee!" And just like that, she was gone. It felt like a fever dream; one minute, she was there, all sunshine and rainbows, and the next, she was practically sprinting away, apparently to buy them all smoothies at the drop of a hat. They all sat there in stunned silence, wondering if she'd fallen and hit her head since she didn't even flinch at the mention of her phone.

Maybe she had been possessed. Or cloned. Or something more realistic than Lula Elena Chapa De Silva skipping around, humming the songs from The Sound Of Music.

"Num-nums for out tum-tums?" Ray said slowly, disgusted by such flowery language, unlike the girl's typical churlish words. "She's clearly possessed by Finniwinks, the Fairy Princess of Sweetness!"

"Classic Finniwinks! Always turning mean people sweet..." Bose nodded, and even everyone else agreed that it was plausible. The sugarplum villain was known for her strange tricks, and this sounded like one of hers, even if Chapa wasn't one of her usual targets.

But Schwoz knew better. Having done a little tinkering on his machine whilst they were all so distracted, he'd undoubtedly found the root of the problem. He could stand all smug and cocksure against the device while they sat there, stumped.

"She's not possessed," he stated dryly, but not even (y/n) could be sure. She preferred logical explanations, but Chapa being nice? That was a mystery, for sure.

"Are you sure, Schwoz? I mean, look at all of her paintings," the woman replied hesitantly, wringing her hands together as they glanced at the canvases left to dry.

There were all manner of adorable drawings on them, from pictures of happy-looking sunshine to hearts, smiley faces, a blender, and God knows what else--enough to make them shiver. It was her new hobby, and going to Hip Hop Purée, Chapa had never seemed happier than when she illustrated her feelings on paper, giving them colour and substance whenever she returned home.

"Maybe science can explain this..." Schwoz said under his breath in a squeaky voice, making them all jump and look around.

"Finniwinks?" Bose gasped, thinking the fairy princess had come to take them all, but the genius quickly calmed him down, gesturing to his machine with a slight smirk.

"I don't know who just said that, but it can," he said, turning to Ray and (y/n) with a confident gaze, even though she knew it was obviously him. He wasn't exactly subtle, but she let it go, eager to hear this theory of his.

"While you were plotting the murder of one of our co-workers, I sneakied a hair out of her brush, and I putted it into this little machiney-chine, and..." he explained, stroking the thing as he giggled, clearly thinking himself so clever.

But talk about a cliffhanger; they'd all gathered around to hear his ingenious idea, but at the last minute, he started laughing - the tease. It frustrated them endlessly, making them shout at the poor little guy just to break him out of the reverie.

"Well, what is it?!"

"Tell us!" They snapped, and he practically jumped out of his skin. Still, schwoz shrugged it off and pulled out a small PearPad, tapping the screen a few times before showing it to them. The results were enlightening to those in the know, namely him and (y/n), the Smarties, but Ray didn't have a clue what he was looking at, not even when the guy explained it.

"Her like-a-tol levels are off the charts!"

"English, Schwoz!" The hero snapped before roughly slapping the poor genius across the face, shocking his sweet girl and young students. Of course, after so many years of working with the man-child, Schwoz was used to it, but that didn't make it any better.

"Raymond!" (y/n) scolded him, slapping her doofus on the arm just as hard to make him wince, and he was fortunate to have his indestructibility. Luckily, the handyman recovered quickly, shaking his head a little as she faced her husband and gave him a seriously stern glare.

"That was English, you big doof! Like-a-tol is a pheromone that rises when you have a crush on someone!"

"Exactly!" Schwoz nodded firmly, yet Ray didn't buy it. He sneered at such a suggestion, thinking it was all scientific mumbo-jumbo. However, that was only because he didn't understand chemicals, bonds, and compounds.

"So, Chapa's all happy because she likes someone?" Bose asked, putting two and two together for once with whatever brain cells he had left. But when Schwoz showed them the PearPad again, it showed them a different story, showing her pheromone levels reaching two hundred and fifty per cent.

"No! She's happy because she like-likes someone!" Miles exclaimed after double-checking the figures, and it was enough to make his friends gasp in shock. Chapa...with a crush?

It was enough to make (y/n) break out into a bright smile and squeal because she loved shit like this. Her adoration of rom-coms made her inner-self cheer - one of her babies had finally reached the age of awkward feelings and new relationships, and it was like all her Christmases had come at once.

"Oh, my God! Chapa's in like-like with someone! My baby...all grown-up." She sniffed tearfully, wondering how quickly these four would fly the nest since she remembered how fast it happened before. One minute, they were blowing bubbles and managing basketball teams; the next, they crushed on girls and went off to college and whatnot...

"Yes..."

"No way!" Ray scoffed ignorantly, making his sweet girl and the genius roll their eyes at each other wildly when he slapped the tablet from the man's hands.

It landed with a cringe-worthy crack on the floor, broken and useless now, but Schwoz had a spare, comically yanking it from his back pocket as he glared at the hero. Still, if that didn't convince him, Schwoz would show him something that would--as he sneakily moved to pluck a hair from the woman's head.

"Ow!" She gasped, hand flying to her scalp at the minor sting, and that didn't put the hero in a better mood. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, encouraging her to rest her head on his chest. He glowered at the unbothered, smaller man, who looked like an ant compared to such a giant, as he turned to the machine.

"Schwoz..." Ray said in a low, warning tone, ready to split that coconut-like head of his in two if he didn't explain what it was all about. Hurting his precious girl like that, even if the pain was over before it had begun - it was not acceptable--punishable by death. Or something to that effect.

"Look, if you don't believe me..." he replied flatly, tapping a few buttons, pulling a few levers, and fiddling with a few screens before retaking the tablet. This time, he showed them a different result - an entirely new chart with another chemical symbol next to it and in a much higher quantity.

"I've just analysed (y/n)'s hair for like-a-tol levels, and look it!" He exclaimed, pointing to the graph which showed the woman's apparent pheromones zooming past Chapa's, which was enough to make her cheeks burn. "They're so high that they've created the hormone loves-a-lot!"

"Loves-a-lot?" Miles echoed sceptically, looking at the woman with what could only be called a bombastic side-eye.

He didn't want to know what was swirling around her body. Still, Ray did, peering at the PearPad like he could understand all that gibberish, but the only thing he could wonder was if his beloved wife was okay. That hormone thing...it wasn't dangerous, right?

"What does that mean?!" He asked clumsily, nervously glancing between Schwoz and the heroine, who rolled her eyes and folded her arms. She'd taken more than enough chemistry classes to understand it all, and she hardly saw how it was relevant, knowing that she was perfectly healthy.

"It means that while Chapa is in like-like, (y/n)'s crush is so bad, she's in love!"

"What, really?!" It was Ray's turn to gasp, dramatically turning to his bemused sweet girl with wide eyes and an open mouth as she giggled. He looked so silly, and she moved to take his hand in hers, squeezing it gently as her fond eyes met his.

"Why do you sound so surprised, doofus?" She asked with a bright grin, not once denying it because it was true. After thirteen years, anyone would expect her crush to be love--pure, true love, and it could only be for one person - one stupid, highly dense, seriously adorable doofus.

"I'm in love with you, Raymond. In case you haven't noticed..."

"Sweet girl..." To say he'd been in a bad mood all morning, the man quickly turned smiley and blushing, beaming to the room as he squirmed - the girl he adored not only held his hand, but she liked him back! A stellar revolution after nearly five years of dating. "I love you, too... Always."

"That's why she couldn't use her powers today..." Mika said thoughtfully to herself, ignoring the sappy couple beside her as Ray softly kissed his wife, still feeling butterflies when he heard her sweet confession. Even after so long together, it still hadn't set into his head that she was his, and he doubted it ever would.

"She's too happy because she's in like-like!"

"Look..." Ray replied, pulling away from his girl's lips, although she stayed in his warm arms, "I've known Chapa six whole weeks, okay? I think I'd know if she was in like-like with someone."

"That's funny, doof, 'cause I was in love with you for, like, eight or nine years before we started dating, and you didn't even realise, " (y/n) said teasingly as she smirked up at him, not ignoring how the kids behind her giggled.

They would definitely use that against him, loving how the great Captain Man couldn't even ask the girl he fancied out on a date, loving how red his cheeks turned under her amused gaze.

"You're not the most observant person in the world, sweetheart."

"Yeah, well..." Ray replied slowly, trying to think of an excuse for such cowardice, and it didn't help how Schwoz's tablet tapping distracted him. "You were so cool and pretty, and I got nervous around you, but that's fine 'cause we got together in the end, and now we're married and stuff, so...yeah."

He couldn't help but slap the PearPad out of Schwoz's hands again as he rambled, failing under their unconvinced stares. Almost as if he predicted such a thing - living with him for so long would do that to a guy - Schwoz had a third one tucked into his back pocket, yanking it out with an even uglier glare.

It wasn't his fault that he was a weakling - all because of a girl.

"Dude, did it really take you that long to ask (y/n/n) out?" Miles asked humorously, shoulders shaking from laughter as he and the other kids tried to hide their amusement. He could be as bad-tempered as he liked, but there was no getting away from it, no matter how much he denied it.

"No!"

"Yes!" (y/n) argued when he denied it, hanging onto his beefy arm for dear life when he tried to run.

She remembered it all too well, sighing fondly when she recalled how her younger self used to dream of him requiting her love, and it was still a dream that he did. The old (y/n) would die if she knew that her best friend was as in love with her as she was with him, even if their old apprehension made Ray blush.

"But she's so nice!" Bose exclaimed with a grin, wondering how he'd ever be scared of the lovely lady--who always answered his phone calls when he had nightmares in the middle of the night.

She was so lovely, and he couldn't imagine her being mad about anything with such good intentions, and that only embarrassed the man more.

"I know! That's what made it scary!" Ray replied haughtily, hating how they'd quickly forgotten about Chapa because of how he used to be. The idiotic playboy with his dream girl sat at home waiting for him; he knew it was stupid, so he tried to divert their attention as he slipped an arm around his now-wife's waist.

"But...being the awesome superhero I am, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and, of course, she said yes."

"Big head!" She gasped, lightly smacking his shoulder because that's not how she remembered it. More along the lines of shaking hands and stuttered words, looking like a deer caught in the headlines when she literally walked in on his confession. She could picture it like it was yesterday...

"He's missing the part where it took two literal children to force him to say I love you. Am I wrong, doofus?" She said, looking at him and waiting for an answer, even though Ray avoided eye contact at all costs.

"No..." he murmured, still thanking his lucky stars that those kids - who were so much better than the ones he found himself lumbered with now - tricked him into rambling about her beauty. He still stood by what he said, owning his unapologetic adoration for the woman - the only one who'd ever stuck with him as long as she had.

The only woman he could have ever loved. His sweet girl.

"But I said it, and she did say yes to being my girlfriend--and Schwoz, stop laughing! You're such a little weirdo!" Still, that didn't stop Schwoz from sniggering to himself in the background.

"Yah, but I'm not nearly as chicken as you!" He retorted, watching as the heroine rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek lovingly, knowing he could have led a lecture on how long and how hard it was until Ray finally uttered those three little words. And what was he so scared about?

Years of following the woman around like a lovesick puppy meant she was just as lovey-dovey and gross as he was, so really, there was someone out there for everyone. If Ray could find someone who could put up with his shit, anyone could, which begged the question...

Just who was Chapa in like-like with?

*I'm about to smut-up your life to the tune of the Spice Girls, so if that's not your thing, look away NOW*

~The Man's Nest~

The tension was palpable in the air when the team returned home. It was as thick as pea soup--so damn suffocating that the kids felt like they could cut it with a knife, especially when Ray muttered and grumbled under his breath as he stomped into the main room.

Schwoz was there to welcome them, but one look at his boss's face and he knew to stay away for a while. The genius was left to talk it over with Mika, Bose, and Miles while the hero stomped off to his bedroom through the metal door, his beloved wife chasing him. Chapa wandered off, too, not that he gave a damn.

All Ray cared about was getting somewhere calm, quiet, and familiar because if he saw another defiant, irritating kid in a superhero uniform, he would lose it. He nearly lost it, kicking the door to the sanctuary that was their cosy room with a furious grunt, and he didn't care if he damaged it.

"Doofus!" A sweet voice called after him, and Ray couldn't be mad at her, even in his pissed-off mood. If anyone could cheer him up, it was her, heels clicking on along the corridor as she rushed to do that.

(y/n) found her husband standing in the middle of their bedroom with his fists clenched and his back turned to her. His strong back tensed and flexed, clearly holding back from shouting and giving Chapa a piece of his mind.

They both knew he'd end up saying something he'd regret, so he rightfully removed himself from the situation in a rare show of restraint and wisdom. But now, she had to deal with him - the overgrown toddler throwing a tantrum in his supersuit onesie.

"What, sweet girl?" Ray replied in an unusually terse voice, making her freeze in the doorway and bite her lip. He couldn't help his growling, grumbling words, even if she were the last person who deserved to hear them, which was why he softened slightly as he said her name.

He had the right to be mad - who wouldn't be? All the work he'd put into training those kids, teaching them the art of crime fighting, and they'd thrown it back in his face. It was humiliation in the worst possible way, but the last thing he needed was an argument with his wife.

So, he squeezed his fists and tried to breathe like she taught him--in through the nose, out through the mouth, grounding his feet to the plush rug under his squelching boots. That was another thing that pissed him off; everything stunk to high heaven, filling the room, usually scented with his cologne and her perfume, with the foul stench of a trash can.

Their private space was where they could escape it all, but his uniform was filthy—another thing to be annoyed about.

"I'm sorry it didn't go better," (y/n) started gently, staying timid and tentative since she was dealing with a delicate situation and an even more delicate temper. She remained in the safety of the doorway, not daring to move any closer yet since his body language screamed anguish and upset. The last thing she wanted right now, standing there in her disgusting, soggy clothes, was to have him lash out.

"S'not your fault," Ray responded curtly and quietly, looking off to the left in acknowledgement that she was there, but he didn't say anything else. He just stood there, brooding angrily, waiting for her to leave so he could stomp off and probably punch out his feelings.

The heroine supposed it was better than seeing him chew out their student, but he had a bad habit of bottling up his emotions - the silly doofus. So, (y/n) refused to leave, hovering and twiddling her thumbs as she awkwardly thought of what to say.

She wasn't the best at soothing situations, often second-guessing herself when coming up with things to say, but she was getting better. Confidence didn't come naturally, but she opened her mouth and went for it, knowing that her doofus would never hurt her, not when she only wanted to help.

"I know, but..." she said slowly, trying to choose the right words, but she felt unwelcome around her husband for the first time in a long while. It was evident that he wanted to be alone. Still, she couldn't help herself, saying her honest opinion, even if it sounded stupid.

"Don't blame Chapa too much."

She could see the moment her words hit the man, going through the stages of Ray's confusion. He froze, tensed, and shuffled, squirming on the spot as he tried to contain a swirl of negative emotions, ranging from fury that his sweet girl would defend the girl to confusion as to why she deserved such kindness.

She didn't, in his opinion; his wife was unduly forgiving, and he didn't mean to get upset with her. But come on--it just didn't compute.

"Don't...blame...Chapa?" He punched out, growling word by word as he tried to make sense of it, and this time, he looked over his shoulder to see how she looked at him with those kind eyes, wringing her hands together.

She looked so sweet...yet tired, stained and dirty from sitting in the trash can. No matter how much she shrugged and looked sincere, he didn't have it in himself to tell her off, yell, or push her away, so he just sighed and kept it polite. As polite as he could when he remembered that his wife - the one he promised to keep in luxury and finery - looked like she'd gone dumpster-diving.

"(y/n), I'm really not in the mood for jokes."

"I'm serious, Ray. I'm not joking," the woman replied, mildly offended that he thought she'd toy with his feelings like that, but she didn't let it show. Instead, she stepped forward, hoping to reach out and comfort him properly once she explained herself. "There's clearly something weird going on with that girl."

"Yeah, she just let a criminal make asses out of us! I swear when she shows her face again--"

"We'll figure it out and make it right! Don't do anything rash, doofus!" She exclaimed when he snarled and angrily ripped the soiled gloves from his hands, throwing them to the floor in a stinking heap. His fingers stretched and squeezed in the free air, ready to punch something before she argued back.

And it was quickly growing into a spat between them, especially when she didn't let it go.

"Then don't make excuses for her..." he huffed, sparing her a glance before bending over to untie his bootlaces, wanting to get in the shower as soon as possible. That would calm him down, and he'd smell and look good enough to take her in his arms and let his worries drain away...

"I'm not..." (y/n) sighed, edging closer, ignoring how her steps sounded squelchy with what could only be described as trash juice. But she refused to back down, tentatively walking up to her husband until he was within touching distance, looking too damn handsome in his super suit.

"What she did was...inexcusable, and I'm angry too. But she's one of us, so I'm willing to help."

"Yeah, well...you're a lot sweeter than me," Ray grumbled, but he didn't slap her hand away when she gently placed it on his shoulder. It had been so long since they'd held each other, trapped in those infernal trash cans. His body moved of its own accord, turning around to take in her beauty, soothing his soul when she kept smiling and touching him more.

Ignoring their mutual body odour, she stroked her other hand down his chest, stepping into his space despite how tetchy Ray still was. He accepted her proximity, allowing her familiarity and faint perfume to calm his anger, even though it lingered.

It felt good to have her so close again, and while he didn't want to touch, kiss, or love her too much without showering, he softly took her waist and rested his forehead on her shoulder.

"I seem to remember that you're a sweetheart, too."

"Not right now, I'm not," he replied quietly, sounding almost like he was scolding himself for being so moody.

After that utter shit-show, he didn't feel sweet, kind, compassionate, or caring. Instead, he was considering screwing the whole fucking thing and going somewhere quiet and remote--somewhere random children wouldn't insert themselves into his life. But then, he sighed, knowing whilst he might think all that, he would never want the kids to go away, not even the thoroughly annoying ones.

It all just felt so overwhelming. Like he would blow up if she didn't leave him to punch the wall, which was looking more and more tempting, even if she reached up to stroke the back of his head.

"Fuck, sweet girl, you shouldn't be with me right now. I'm not in a good fucking mood."

"Doof..." (y/n) muttered, turning to kiss his temple as he sighed into her shoulder, his grip on her waist getting tighter and tighter with each recollection of every instruction that girl ignored. He couldn't get it out of her head, and the anger flared inside him again.

"Darlin'..." the hero growled, and it took all of his strength and composure to push her away.

The last thing his sweet, precious girl needed to see was one of his temper tantrums, and he just knew that if she kept poking the bear, he would insult her--shout--swear--God knows what else.

So, he sighed and gave her his best puppy-dog eyes, although a dark, foreboding glint in them had her shivering. How hot he was when he was this angry - truly furious - was dangerous. "I don't wanna say something stupid and upset you, so just go."

A moment passed, a heavy silence hanging between them as (y/n) stared up at him, and for a second, she considered listening to him. Usually, he worked through his problems independently, and she could shower whilst he hurled a lamp across Mount Swellview.

But, then, her better thinking kicked in, spurred on by her ever-lingering thirst for him because damn...if that clenched jaw didn't do anything for her. How he tensed all his muscles made him appear broader and bulkier, a veritable unit of a man as he sighed deeply - and was that a growl she heard or just herself purring?

Her decision was easy, even if slightly brattish.

"...No," the heroine said simply, and she defiantly stuck her nose in the air as her husband turned to her with a confused yet unimpressed gaze.

"What?" Ray asked, wondering if she was looking for an argument, but then he thought better.

It wasn't in her nature to be argumentative, so he carefully observed her, noting her hands on her enticing curves and how those big, doe eyes stared up at him--almost begging him.

And when she continued, jutting her hip out as he loomed over her with their noses nearly touching, part of him couldn't help but want to silence those pretty lips with his own.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. You're my husband. This is our bedroom. I'm staying here."

"I said I'm not in the mood for games..." he echoed, repeating each word slowly and darkly, getting closer by a centimetre with each passing second until he'd taken her by the waist again.

He couldn't help holding onto his sweet girl as she squirmed in his embrace. Perhaps it was just him, but...fuck, the way she ground against him, sliding her hands up his chest and looping them around his neck so she practically hung off his body. It was like she was asking for the deep, dark lust swirling in the pit of his stomach, but he tried to ignore it.

He was in no fit state to give her the comfort and worship she deserved, and he wasn't interested for once in his life. Not when he felt like ripping the nearest fixture off the wall.

"I'm not playing one," (y/n) argued, feeling a little clumsy and coquettish as she deliberately wiggled her hips in his hands, loving how his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. Just as she planned...

"Since when did my good girl become such a brat? Hmmm?" Ray growled, practically spitting the words out as he tried to make her stand still.

Yet, when she looked at him, it was more than he could take, getting lost in those innocent eyes and how her smaller body writhed into his.

With her arms around his shoulders, he could feel how her chest brushed against his, their noses touching briefly every time she moved a little erratically, and it was enough to make a man feral. Whenever their lips nearly touched, he clutched her harder, worried she might break despite her superpower. Still, the near taste of honey muddled his thoughts and brushed any concerns away.

"When she decided she was gonna help you cool down..." She smiled sweetly, but he knew that look.

Her hand found its way to the back of his head, pulling him down toward her face until they were a millimetre apart--so nearly touching that he swore he wouldn't let her go without tasting her lips. Just a small one, just to satiate the hunger growing in the pit of his stomach.

"And how are you gonna do that, little one?" The man couldn't help but ask, deliberately drifting his touch to the small of her back, as they so often did before he moved onto her ass, aching to reach down and fondle the soft flesh he adored so much.

"You could fuck me, Captain..." (y/n) whispered, and that's when he grabbed her.

His hands bit into the soft, pliable flesh of her ass, kneading it like putty as he frowned deeply and hissed, wondering if he'd heard her right. Hot breath mingled between them, torn between the addictive game of hanging on the edge and diving into what would surely be the filthiest of kisses.

Instead, he groaned and pulled her flush against him, knowing she'd quickly feel how he hardened in his pants, panting steadily into her ear to try and calm himself. But (y/n) was mischievously devilish, giggling to herself as she whimpered at his strong touch before pulling his earlobe into her mouth and whispering--

"Fuck me like you hate me--get all that anger out of your system."

"You're my wife..." He punched out, undoubtedly stiffening at the thought of bending her over and having his way with her, but that was not acceptable. She didn't make it easy for the hero, quietly moaning in his ear as he fought to resist such a temptation, palming her ass through her silken skirt.

"I promised to honour and cherish you. I could never hate you, pretty girl..."

"I know that, you big doofus. Just get all your frustration out with me, and we can talk to Chapa without ripping any heads off," she replied simply, twirling a piece of her hair like an innocent schoolgirl--but he knew better.

Finally, he got to brush his lips against her, grunting when she boldly ran her tongue across the seam of his lips, and he moved to hold her still and take what he wanted. If only--she was surprisingly quick, pulling away after only the slightest, most teasing hint of her sweet kiss, and it was like all his frustrations culminated at once.

"Don't say her name." Ray panted against her face, sounding so endearing with the slight whine in his voice. She knew how needy he was and how this release would be just what he needed.

"Mmm...not sorry," the heroine teased, arching her back when he plied her soft flesh again, squeezing and pulling her cheeks apart as he trailed his lips down her cheek, jaw, and neck. For someone so adamant about being left alone, he couldn't walk away now, and they both knew that she'd caught him in her web.

"Gonna fuck me, Captain?"

"Bad little girl," Ray muttered, and it was his turn to smile when he bit into her neck and pulled a sharp squeal from her throat. Spanking her ass once, he abruptly pulled away, undoubtedly turned on by the tenting against his pant seam, and she licked her lips greedily.

He didn't miss that, shaking his head at how ravenous his sweet girl could be and decided to play along with her little game. When she reached to touch his thick length through his trousers, he smacked her hand away, grabbing it and bending her wrist behind her back in the blink of an eye.

With a bit of manoeuvring, he got her to face the bed and all but threw her onto the mattress so she landed tummy-down on the sheets - just how he wanted her. "Bend yourself over the bed--lift that pretty skirt. Let me see my favourite little pussy."

"Ray! We'll get the sheets dirty!" She exclaimed whinily, acting as though she didn't bite her lip to smother a smile, but he didn't believe her, nor did he care. All he noticed was how she didn't follow his order to the letter, too momentarily stunned by how her world had spun around to swiftly skirt her lower garments.

"Does it look like I give a fuck?" He growled, palming his steadily growing cock as she squirmed, and he was unashamed to let his eyes settle on the shadowy apex of her thighs. It was a little obscured and difficult to see, but he could just make out the swell of her ass beneath the skirt, poking out from those stupidly short shorts she wore underneath, and fuck, if that didn't make him hard.

"And what did you call me? What am I called?"

"Shit--sorry, Captain!" She squealed when he spanked her ass again, much harder than she was used to, but the sting was oddly satisfying. It inspired her to wriggle onto her forearms and knees, arching her back and sticking her butt in the air for him to admire.

How she wiggled it in front of his eyes was intoxicating, inviting him to get closer and inspect what he loved so much. And honestly, Ray wasn't in the mood to wait around; he knew what he wanted and that she wanted it rough, hard, and inconsiderate, not that that came naturally to him. She was his beloved wife at the end of the day, and he could never forget that.

Still, he would try to meet her request, flicking the red satin over her hips to reveal the supposedly protective garments underneath.

"These fucking shorts..." he murmured, letting himself stare at them appreciatively for a few seconds because, damn, they teased him like no tomorrow.

They simultaneously revealed and hid everything he loved, dipping into every curve and crevice. Hence, he had a perfect, satin-wrapped gift all to himself--and he knew every inch of it. Committed it to memory - taste, sight, smell, and touch.

The perfect ass he had on command and undoubtedly his favourite feature of hers, even though he loved every inch of her.

"Don't know why you even fucking bother with them. Don't fucking hide this pretty little pussy..."

With each filthy word, he peeled them over the curve of her ass, smirking to himself when the most vulnerable part of her became exposed for his eyes only, egged on by her quiet whimper.

"Mmm...Captain..." (y/n) moaned, her eyes sliding closed when he ran his fingers through her wet folds, growling at how her slick ran down to his palm.

"God, shit, you're pretty soaked, little one," he said throatily, lapping the sweetness from his fingertips with a satisfied grin, chuckling devilishly when she wiggled her ass, begging for more. "This all for me?"

"Mm-hmm..."

"No wonder you're acting like a brat," he muttered, swatting her hips with a harsh slap, making the woman yelp. The sting softened, turning her shocked sound into a moan when he palmed her ass again.

She felt his hardened cock through his pants, pressing it against her slit so the bulbous head ran past her cunt, smearing obscene stains across his crotch. But Ray didn't care, not when they were already filthy, and she wouldn't dare complain. They rocked against each other, needily rutting like hormonal teenagers.

"Need a good, rough fucking to get it out of you."

"Have I been bad, sir?" (y/n) asked as she looked over her shoulder and batted her eyelashes as best she could. She looked like sin and sounded like heaven, the little minx - all soft, mewling, and angelic, even as she ground into his hips like a common slut.

"Yes..." Her husband growled, grabbing her waist to cease her movements. Otherwise, he'd cum in his pants in two minutes--too wound up by his little seductress to last any longer.

Bending over her body, two muscular forearms planted themselves next to her head, shrouding her small frame with his bulky one as he harshly, hotly growled...

"Was it not enough that we fucked last night? Or that I ate this cunt for breakfast before we left this morning?"

"No..." she whimpered as he nibbled her earlobe, knowing from how she dramatically arched her back that she was growing more desperate by the minute - his perfectly naughty girl.

"Such a needy little girl..." Ray cooed, grabbing a fistful of her hair and dragging her lips to his, kissing her softly and slowly, allowing his tongue to roll against hers to swallow every mewl. He still remembered her taste before the emergency call; she always seemed sweeter in the morning, wrapping her legs around his head and begging him not to stop.

"God, I bet you're still wet from earlier, and I never did get to fuck you..." he muttered to himself with a smirk as he retreated, shuffling back up the bed to slowly unzip his pants, freeing and stroking himself to the heavenly sight below.

"Captain!"

And (y/n) didn't miss it, hearing the shrill zipper sound, knowing that what she craved was a mere few inches from where she needed it most - where it belonged.

She tried everything in her arsenal to entice him, nudging her knees wider and curving her spine to its capacity, whining throatily as if to voice her displeasure at being made to wait. The slick ran down her thighs, and she swore it was dripping on the bed by the time Ray took pity on her and ran his head through her folds, making them both moan at how far, yet so near, they were.

"Look at you. Want my cock, pretty girl? Want me to fuck you?" The hero asked darkly as he teased her clit, knowing that after how many orgasms he pulled out of her before ten o'clock, she was more than ready to take him. Not that he'd show her any mercy as requested.

"Yes, please..." She replied quietly, fingers squeezing the bedsheets as he notched himself at her entrance. Yet, to her disappointment, he didn't move, sitting with nerves of steel as she bucked into thin air.

"What?" He growled, and another bruising blow landed on her ass, making her jolt forward when it hit a centimetre close to her pussy than before.

"Yes, please, Captain!"

"Good," he smirked, amused at how polite and whiny his sweet girl could get with just a few choice words and the promise of a good fucking. And who was he to deny her? "Then, fucking take it."

Without another word, he plunged into his dear, sweet wife much more roughly than usual. The feeling of his thick length splitting her open made (y/n) groan, revelling in the delicious burn, but he didn't give her time to get used to it.

No, if she wanted to be fucked...like...like he hated her, then he could do that. It was easy. Ray didn't give her any time to adjust, having his sweet way with her pliant body and the fucking sinful cocksleeve it made, and she was just along for the ride.

He quickly established a rhythm he liked, not one to tease or please her - although it definitely did. Everything he did or thought was utterly selfish, getting off on her loud moans and the chant of his name as he gripped her hips.

"Fuck, feels good..." he swore under his breath as he pulled her body back into his, thrusting harshly until nothing but the lewd sounds of slapping skin, soft moans, and ragged breathing filled the air, driving nothing but his pleasure.

Or at least, that was his thought.

"Yes, Captain--" (y/n) hissed, resting her head on her forearms as the powerful thrusts shook her body, scratching the itch she didn't know needed scratching.

Her tits swung violently as he slapped her ass again, utterly mesmerised by what he would argue was her finest feature of many, loving how it jiggled every time it met his Adonis' belt.

She liked how they usually did it - literally never had any complaints about sharing a bed with Swellview's voted sexiest man of the year fourteen years running - but seeing him borderline unhinged?

It made her melt.

"Such a good fuck, pretty girl..." Ray grunted, squeezing her ass as he continued his rough assault, ploughing into her like he had no regard for how she felt.

It did nag in the back of his mind, wondering how she could enjoy being so brutally fucked since selfishness meant her pretty little clit went untouched, but she never complained. Never said a word that wasn't intended to rile him up even more, using everything she knew about his turn-ons to push his buttons.

"Can feel this needy pussy squeezing me--shit."

"Fuck me harder! I know you want to--give it to me!" (y/n) begged, dropping her mouth open to pant raggedly, feeling like her every nerve ending was on fire.

"Yeah? You want it?" All he had to do was play along, aimlessly chasing his own end like it would bring salvation, although it didn't feel right not to drag her along.

"Yes!" She cried, yet his fingers itched to reach for her most sensitive spots as he did as she asked, sweat beading at his hairline as he doubled his pace. It was near-superhuman, on the boundaries of even Captain Man's capabilities. Still, he managed, hunching over her back to rut like animals since that's what she made him.

A fucking, sex-starved animal whose only objective in life was to soak up the presence of his pretty wife and fuck her full, even if her moans didn't sound quite as sweet when he pounded her so brutally.

"Fuck..." he groaned, undoubtedly in guilty heaven, when she clenched around him. "Dirty, fucking girl, you know that?"

"Just want to please you, doofus..." (y/n) said between gasps, smiling when she felt him kiss up her spine softly - so very different from how he fucked her so roughly. His cock beat every inch of her insides, practically rearranging them at a different angle when he collapsed onto the bed over her.

It didn't matter if the bedsheets were stained anymore; they were already fucked, much like she was.

"Shit, you do, sweet girl... You fucking do," Ray muttered, trying to keep his pace as unrelenting and harsh as she'd begged for, but his resolve waned.

How could he ignore the precious creature moaning so prettily beneath him? Even with the stench of stewing garbage, her perfume and shampoo permeated the pillow near his nose, making him lightheaded and dizzy as she writhed beneath him, taking every fucking thrust like a fucking champion.

It wasn't meant to please her; she was satisfied with that morning's fun. No, she acted to please him, and it made him weak.

"Fuck--turn over--" he choked, hips stuttering before finally giving out because he just couldn't. Not when he was wholly devoted to treating her right - like he promised.

"Wha--?" The woman frowned when he trembled over her, stopping their frenzied fucking before pulling out of her entirely, much to her confusion and disappointed whine.

"I can't do this--turn over." He gulped at her look of betrayal, almost seeing the insecurity and barrage of questions swirling behind those gorgeous eyes. But when he pushed on her hip, she rolled onto her back as commanded, and finally, he could see the view he'd been missing.

"Ray..." (y/n) murmured quietly when her lover released a sigh he didn't know he was holding, settling between her thighs like second nature because it really was his second home.

Their bodies melded together, slotting perfectly until his cock bobbed at her entrance again, only this time, he could palm her soft tits, nibble on them, stroke her curves and clit, too.

"You're my wife..." he replied quietly whilst raking an appreciative eye over her body, even if she was still in the soiled uniform. She looked dishevelled and seductive like the girl of his dreams - all doe-eyed and innocent as he pressed into her again. "If you want me to relax, this is the best way."

He grinned when he slipped into her cunt with ease once more, groaning when he watched how her eyelids fluttered and mouth dropped open.

That's what he'd missed - the most selfish thing of all. Seeing every reaction and fucked-out expression she made, knowing no one else would ever know them again. It had him sagging into her soft body as he resumed the powerful rhythm.

"Fuck!" (y/n) gasped as he pounded her into the mattress, hearing it squeak and creak with every powerful thrust, and the pleasure only doubled when he reached to rub circles on her clit.

"Let me fuck you how I want. Give me every part of you..." Ray said harshly, curling his hands around her throat so she had to look him in the eye as he fucked her mercilessly.

His thumb expertly moved against her clit under the flimsy skirt, slipping vigorously from the slick pouring out of her, making him smirk as he whispered, lips brushing against hers... "I want to see everything, not just your pussy. Fucking let me hear you moan..."

"Captain..." She murmured, boneless from how he invaded her senses so completely, those black-blue eyes staring into hers like a madman's, darkening when he hissed in dissatisfaction.

"My name..." the man spat, pressing her sensitive nub even harder and loving how she squealed and jerked in response. He could never fuck her like he hated her - it just wasn't in his nature - but if she wanted it rough, he'd fucking give it to her.

"Ray..."

"What do you call me?" Again, he shook his head, seeming nearly desperate as she struggled to string a coherent thought together, let alone a sentence. Yet, she smiled when he nuzzled into her cheek, tender affection bleeding through the relentless passion when he chastely kissed her flesh.

"Doofus..." She whispered, looping her arms around his neck as he rewarded her with a kiss. Their tongues met, sucking on hers long and slow as she hooked her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper.

"That's my sweet girl." He fucked her nice and hard, wrapping his beloved wife up in his arms as they well and truly ruined the sheets until they were limp, satiated, and calm.

Exhausted but relaxed, Ray sought solace in her embrace as they went for another round, softer and slower but no less passionate as he whispered hotly in her ear. Fucking was good, but he always made love to her - angry or not - and he didn't care what was wrong with the world outside their bedroom.

At least until they had to leave, but not until after they'd had round three in the shower...

*SAFETY. ray is dilfy dom ofc, but he is such a simp. i could never see him doing anything that didn't involve fucking his sweet girl's brains out. the man cries when she goes to the bathroom. ofc she's getting a 3:1 ratio.

Anyway - alloys!*

That question plagued their minds well into the afternoon, well after they'd changed from their uniforms into civilian clothes.

Downstairs in SWAG, Mika, Miles, and Bose sat around doing nothing remarkably scholastic, too distracted by the mystery of Chapa's crush. They were dying to know who she was in like-like with, pondering their own guesses in their own unique ways, and some were more accurate than others.

Bose, of course, didn't have two brain cells to rub together as he nibbled on yet more Nacho Ball, but Mika was hard at work. Call her Poirot or some other such detective. Still, she'd made more deductions than anyone, finding clues and interesting somethings everywhere she looked, digging deeper into who the unknown person could be.

On the other hand, Miles was working hard or hardly working - the phrase he lived by. To look at him, you'd think he was having a nap, sprawled back in his chair with the dreamiest, most relaxed expression in the world, which was a very puzzling scene for (y/n) to stumble on as she entered the classroom.

"What are you all doing?" The woman asked as she walked up to Mika.

She was bewildered when she saw her line up several photos on the whiteboard. They were the weirdest jumble of people she'd ever seen, ranging from Harry Styles to Michael B. Jordan to her dearest baby, Henry Hart. His bright smile on the screen tugged at her heartstrings, and she made a mental note to call him later to see if he was okay, but she didn't know what he had in common with Nikola Tesla.

"Trying to work out Chapa's crush..." The girl replied without glancing up from her PearPad, much to her brother's amusement.

"You're wasting your time," scoffed Miles, who sank further into his chair and proper his boots onto the next - a highly annoying habit that (y/n) would have to lecture him on when she wasn't worried about Chapa. That poor girl, so grumpy, yet so...tender.

"No, I'm not. I'm trying to figure out who Chapa's in like-like with."

"I think we get that, Mika, honey, but aren't your guesses a bit...weird?" The woman said hesitantly, not wanting to hurt any feelings, but she couldn't see their friend crushing on a knife--no matter how much of an angry stab-a-holic she seemed to be.

"Yeah, your guesses are off by...Miles," the boy added, sounding strangely poignant as he said the last word, and that's when it fell into place. Mika slid off her desk, suddenly understanding why he'd been so bone-idle for the last hour or so - ever since Ray told them to clear off when he got some big idea.

That was why he'd left his darling wife alone for a while, sniffing around some undoubtedly idiotic plan, which gave her a chance to do some real work. Or whatever is classed as real work in the Man's Nest.

"You think she's in like-like..." the girl said slowly, her face scrunched up in disgust at the mere thought despite Miles' cool, collected gaze. "With you-you?!"

"Of course she is!" The boy scoffed, wondering why she found it so gross. Still, he didn't take it personally, not when he felt confident in his dashing good looks and irresistible personality. "If you spend enough time around a pecan pie, you're gonna want a slice."

"Oh, sweet cheese..." (y/n) sighed, rolling her eyes as the kid sat back and smiled smugly. She didn't want to know what the kids got up to today, although she remembered what it was like with all the boys she liked in her younger days. Strangely enough, not many seemed to go for her, but that was okay. She found her doofus in the end, but was it always this complicated?

"Can we please not talk about food? I'm starving..." Bose asked harshly when he heard pie and cheese, earning some very funny looks since he still had half a Nacho Ball in his palm. He still chewed the greasy takeout, taking another bite, even though it didn't satiate his hunger, and as usual, he was as oblivious as ever.

"I know who Chapa's in like-like with." And yet, sometimes, he had his uses.

"Let me guess... You?" (y/n) raised an eyebrow, wondering if the dimpled boy was as big-headed as his friend, but he just scoffed and laughed off their words.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no..." Bose replied as he feverishly shook his head. He couldn't think of anything worse - no offence to Chapa - but he was not boyfriend material, at least in his view. "I'm a monster. My skin's too clear, my hair's too soft, I got these gross dimples--blah!"

"Oh, yeah, you really got the shallow end of the gene pool, huh?" The heroine remarked, even though it went right over his head. She had never seen a cute kid wanting to pinch those dimples and pat his silly head. Still, Bose was clueless, smiling at her and Chapa like he'd just made some remarkable discovery. As if.

"But I'm pretty sure I figured it out," he announced before picking up a large whiteboard that he'd doodled on for five minutes before returning to his post-lunch snack.

On it, he'd glued several images, drawn a handful of squiggly arrows, and written a few words here and there, creating a jumble of ideas and deductions that didn't make much sense. But, the one thing that stood out to (y/n) was the scraps of paper that he'd pinned to the top left-hand corner - what looked like receipts of some kind, and all from the same store...

"There's your man," he stated, tapping a giant face in the opposite corner, and on closer inspection, the girls realised that he'd made a sunshine face out of macaroni - a real devious impasta. "We find this guy, we find Chapa's crush!"

"Hey, (y/n/n), do you see all these recei--" Mika muttered, trying to get closer when the same papers caught her eye. Yet, suddenly, some upbeat, cheerful singing interrupted her, and a large, bumbling figure entered the room, as annoying and noisy as ever.

"Strapped up and ready to go... Gonna end some people I don't know!" Ray sang as he stepped into the classroom, suited and booted in a fresh, clean uniform. He looked dashingly handsome, groomed to perfection, as he smirked at the children before casting his gaze on his pretty girl - and his smile was practically golden.

"Hey, sweet girl!"

"Hey, doof..." (y/n) returned his enamoured grin, almost jumping into his embrace as he dipped his head and kissed her short but sweet. You'd think they hadn't seen each other in a week with how she wrapped her arms around his neck and how he hugged her closely, making the kids frown and roll their eyes. It had literally been thirty minutes - how miraculous the eternal like-like was.

"Jeez, are you trying to swallow her?" Miles asked dryly, only to receive one of the hero's dark stares as he put his beloved wife down yet still kept her against his body.

"Can't a man love his wife?" He sneered, stroking her hair affectionately before turning to Mika as (y/n) inspected the weaponry he'd strapped to his back. It made her giggle, looking at the goddamn cannons crisscrossing his chest that could take down Godzilla, but his handsomeness kept her distracted, ignoring the images on the screen.

"Is this the like-like board?"

"Yes, but--" the girl replied, but Ray was on a mission, and he didn't care who he had to annihilate to regain his young apprentice. In his head, if they removed all possible crushes, Chapa would return to normal, so he just had to quietly do away with a few people - even some he held dear to his heart.

"Wow... Henry, too, huh?" He muttered, his eyes growing misty when he saw his former sidekick up there, but needs must. "Okay...got it. Gonna make some random strangers bleed..."

"Now, hang on a minute, you big doofus!" (y/n) called after him when the hero stormed toward the front door without thinking about what he would do. All action and no thought - what was new? - but at least he turned around upon hearing her angelic voice, smiling softly and taking her hand in his when she grabbed it.

"Yeah, darlin'? You wanna goodbye kiss?"

"Yes!--I mean, no...not yet," (y/n) Stammered, getting a little ahead of herself when he leaned forward and tried to find her honeyed lips again. It took all her strength to push her fingers between their faces, stopping him from tasting the sweetness he craved and, dear lord, the pout she got in turn...

"Sweet girl..." Ray muttered, looking like a kicked puppy when she pushed him away, and he grabbed her hips, hoping for better luck next time, but then, she stood fast and gave him a stern look.

"No, Raymond. Are you really gonna go end all those people on the smart board, including our dear, sweet baby boy, Henry?" She asked exasperatedly, glancing back at the screen with all the famous, two of which were impossible to shoot, no matter how hard he tried.

And really, he was fooling no one when he claimed to be willing to hurt Henry - the kid and all the antics he never thought he'd ever miss. Ray softened at that, seeing the vulnerability behind her pretty eyes, too. He sighed, gently stroking her lower back as the kids raised their brows and waited for what would surely be the mother of all answers.

"Number one--if I tell you, you're all accomplices, sweet girl," he replied confidently, glancing at the children as they shook their heads concernedly. "Number two--yes!"

"Doofus!"

"What?" He asked innocently when his wife lightly slapped his arm, wondering what was wrong about that when their team was down one essential member - even if she was intolerably moody twenty-four-seven. "Until Chapa's crush has an unexplained accident, we're down one superhero, and I don't want either of us to end up in a Nacho Ball trash can again."

Okay, she had to admit he was hot when he took charge, growing all serious before he turned to the door with determination in those crystal blue eyes. God, those shoulders looked even broader in the uniform, muscles bulging with every step as he lightly kissed her goodbye - as if that would be enough before he left on this crusade.

"It's very concerning to me that I'm the first person to tell you that violence doesn't solve every problem," Miles remarked, looking at his irritated boss with his holier-than-thou face, making Ray sigh.

"Welcome to the club, Miles. I've been trying for thirteen years," (y/n) told him dryly as Ray slid his arm around her waist. He also looked at the kids with contempt, wondering when they'd wise up and learn about how harsh the real world was - not full of sunshine and rainbows like they seemed to dream.

"Oh, kids. So young...so much to learn," he hissed, patting Miles on the shoulder and turning to his wife again. "I'll see you later, sweetheart..."

"Violence didn't solve our rat problem!" Mika argued, calling the hero back again as he smooched his pretty girl, pecking her lips a few times like he couldn't stop - and he couldn't. There could never be a last kiss between them, but the girl didn't care, glaring at the unfeeling, uncaring man.

"Yeah, neither did building that tiny tent and training them to do tricks!" He bit back sharply, pointing to the classroom corner where Mika had placed her great idea.

It was a little unsanitary and much more impractical than hiring an exterminator. Still, the girl couldn't help but fall for their twitchy-nosed cuteness. The beady eyes and whiskers endeared the vermin to her. When Ray ordered that they be...removed, she protested, practically screaming the Nest down.

"Aw, I love our rat circus!" Bose exclaimed before skipping off to stare into the mini big-top tent, complete with a tiny parking lot they'd erected out of harm's way. He could hear the jingling music playing inside and smiled when he watched a particularly brave rodent fly on the trapeze.

"To be fair, it did give Colin some friends..." (y/n) said with a shrug, knowing her beloved bunny baby was in there, acting as the ringmaster. The children insisted, and although she hated having rats in her home, she had to admit Colin was adorable.

"Not now!" Mika told her friend, staring at Bose as he lifted the tent flap and watched the show with enraptured attention - like they didn't have more significant problems right now. "We gotta figure out who Chapa's crush is!"

"I thought Bose already figured it out," Miles replied as he retrieved the doodle board with the smiley pasta sun and giant Sharpied arrows.

"Technically, no. Despite being so sweet, Bose couldn't figure it out even if a large bag hit him in the face marked it," the heroine replied dryly, walking over to the boy to observe the board again. Yep, her guess was correct. Those receipts spoke volumes; luckily, she had her listening ears on.

"Look at these receipts," she said to the room as she pointed at the papers, earning a particularly invested, enamoured glance from her doofus. She was so hot when she was being clever... "They're all Chapa's, and they're all from Hip Hop Purée."

"Yeah, she's been going there a lot lately," Miles said pensively, and something hazy clicked in his brain. That's where she went to fetch their lunch, but that was ages ago. How long could a few smoothies take?

"Fourteen times in the last three days!" Mika exclaimed, on the same page as her elder friend as she got closer. "And all these receipts list the same cashier. Creston!"

"Creston?!" Her brother gasped loudly with Bose, sounding rather dramatic over some random dude who'd supposedly caught their friend's affections. "That's a hot guy name!"

"It is?" Ray asked with an adorable tiny tilt of his head, looking at his sweet girl for answers since they'd lost him on that one. Admittedly, Raymond didn't exactly roll off the tongue, but could names be attractive? Like Gary, Greg, or Bob?

"Uh, have you ever seen an ugly Creston?" Bose shot back with a dubious look, not that his teacher would take any sass from him - the slow one.

"I don't think I've ever seen a Creston. What about you, sweet girl?"

"No, I thought they were a type of cookie. Or a kind of bird..." (y/n) replied, looking up at him with a giggle because it really didn't matter to her.

Ugly or handsome, no Creston would worm his way into her heart; it had already been taken, and for the record, she thought Raymond was the hottest name imaginable. Although, maybe she was biased on that one.

"Well, you're both in for a treat."

"Then, I'm gonna go down to Hip Hop Purée and have a little talk with this Creston," the hero announced, flicking a switch on the alarmingly bulky blaster in his hand so the damn thing was locked and loaded. His darling wife could only imagine what he'd do to the poor kid once they met, and she'd rather not have this treat's face decorating the walls.

"Um...why don't (y/n) and I go down there and talk to him?" Mika quickly interjected tentatively, looping her arm through the woman's as she and her doofus gave the girl a confused look.

One because he desperately wanted to shoot the face off someone and the other because she had no intentions of meddling in tween romance.

"But my sweet girl..." Ray pouted, catching his lover by the elbow as if the "slight, gentle movement would keep her all to himself - precisely what he wanted.

"Will be fine. It'll be one of her favourite romantic movies, right, (y/n/n)?" Mika replied flatly before looking at the heroine with hopeful eyes. Breaking up her best friend and this dreamboat would be bad enough, so she could do with some moral support--or rather, someone telling her that they were acting for all the right reasons.

"...All right, fine. But if Chapa freaks out, I will use you as a human lightning rod," (y/n) replied jokingly, lightly punching the girl's shoulder as she visibly relaxed, grateful to have some support. Even if Ray deflated, he'd survive without her for an hour or so, and it was all in the line of duty.

"All right, fine. Suit yourself," the man said bitterly as he lowered the blaster and passed it to his wife with a glum look. If anything, he wished he could spend some time with her while Mika went off and frolicked, but she seemed determined. He'd just sit, sigh, and pine for her return.

"We're not gonna shoot him, doofus," his sweet girl told him with a giggle as she carefully put the safety back on the gun and passed it back to him. "We'll make it perfectly clear that Chapa needs to get her superhero life in order before she makes any kind of commitment like that."

"Exactly, (y/n/n)," Mika agreed with a feverish nod, "we're just gonna say, listen, buddy. I don't know what you have going on with our friend, Chapa, but you gotta back off. There could never be anything between you!"

"Well, never say never--" (y/n) shrugged, but Miles quickly drowned out her words, clearly knowing nothing about a work-life balance.

"Wait, wait...never?!"

"That's right. Superheroes can never fall in love or even like-like. We're married to Swellview, and there's no room for anything else." That had the woman doing a double take, barely registering how her doofus wandered across the room because Mika had surely been sniffing something.

All she meant was Chapa needed to control her superpowers and steadily commit to Swellview before he dragged some other poor soul into the circus. Absolute isolation and celibacy were ridiculous--and heartbreaking. She knew that all too well.

"Mika, honey..."

"I mean, look at Ray." Anything she said was either ignored or not heard - she wasn't sure as they all turned to look at her husband. The one she was definitely allowed to marry, not that anyone would have stopped her.

He turned to look at them with a flick of his head and smooth, smouldering gaze, appearing like some Maverick wannabe. Twirling the blaster on his finger, Ray winked at his beloved wife, having heard nothing the girl claimed since he was too lost in her enchanting presence - or some such doofy, cliche, mushy excuse.

Really, he just liked staring at her butt, but that didn't sound as chivalrous.

"'Sup?" He said in a low voice as he winked at his wife, causing a giggling (y/n)'s cheeks to warm like a schoolgirl who had just been complimented by a jock. They enticed each other so completely, never looking away as the world and everyone in it faded.

"He's loveless--" So, when Mika spat such a cruel untruth, it broke them out of their daydream like a bucket of cold water. That was a simple, black, filthy lie, which (y/n) strongly objected to as her doofus gulped - it was one of his deepest fears, not that he'd ever admit it.

"Huh? What?"

"Uh, excuse me--"

"He has no friends..." She continued, blowing holes in the man's self-esteem with every thoughtless comment. It was more than (y/n)'s job's worth to quickly soothe her husband, stroking her bicep and checking, whispering that it was all untrue.

"Oh!"

"He's utterly alone, and why?!" She looked at the other kids, who, shockingly, lapped up everything she said - the little shits.

"Because he made a commitment to the city of Swellview!"

"Yeah, hi--hello! I'm Mrs Manchester, nice to meet you!" (y/n) said sarcastically as she approached the girl and extended her hand for her to shake - her left hand. The rings on her finger sparkled in the bright classroom light, gleaming their lustrous golden sheen as the girl blinked at her before slowly accepting the offer.

"Well, yeah, of course, I didn't mean you, (y/n/n)," Mika replied with a casual laugh as she waved off her friend's displeasure like it was nothing. "Y'know, you're (y/n). You're always here."

"That's because I live here. With my husband. Whom I love very much. And he loves me. Because we're married." She didn't know how to make it any clearer, and when she gestured to him wildly, Ray nodded firmly.

Of course, they weren't at the wedding, but he could show them his ring that matched his sweet girl's, which would shock them. As if he'd ever marry someone else or forsake her love. He'd tried that, and it didn't work in the end; the universe said they were meant to be, and that was that.

"Yeah, but he still has no friends," Miles retorted, who grimaced when the woman proudly looped her arms around the man's neck and pulled him into a short but sweet kiss. But he wasn't sorry enough not to smirk like the little troublemaker he was, and her heart clenched when Ray's face fell again.

"I have--I have friends!" He argued, spluttering as he held onto his wife's waist like an anchor, needing her love and support as they stared at him, unconvinced.

"Really?"

"Yes! Tons!

"Name one. We'll wait," Miles said confidently, and (y/n) sighed. Ray could never resist a challenge; honestly, she didn't think he'd win this one. They led very isolated lives, focusing on duty, work, and superhero stuff, and they were okay with that. Friends often muddied the waters; back in the Man Cave, they had every person they needed. Had being the keyword.

"(y/n)," Ray replied instantly, prodding and gesturing to his precious girl as she smiled slightly. Friendship was the foundation for any good relationship, but the kids didn't buy it.

"Name one that isn't your wife."

"Schwoz." He went with the next best option, and (y/n) saw no harm. They'd known each other longer than she'd been in the picture, and even if their relationship was unconventional, the hero would be lost without his fuzzy, little coconut.

"He works for you."

"And you slapped him this morning," Mika added coldly - an excellent point and even the smooth-talking Captain couldn't deny it. Although, he tried.

"That's just how men shake hands!"

"What do you do for hugs? Throw each other off a cliff?" (y/n) Joked, hoping they'd just drop it since she could sense the discomfort and vulnerability radiating off her poor love, but when Bose chipped in, she knew they were fucked--and Ray was just too proud to admit it.

"I don't usually pick up on these things, but it sure doesn't seem like you have any friends, Ray," the boy said gently, never wanting to hurt his mentor, but that was inevitable.

"I got a bunch of friends!" The hero yelled back, his cheeks red when he frowned and lashed out. His hand on (y/n)'s hipbone was almost painfully tight, holding onto her for dear life when the unresolved trauma from a lonely childhood and even lonelier adulthood rose to the surface. She was the only person he really had now...

"I got my buddy..." The room fell silent as he paused, looking to the left blatantly before stuttering-- "Kun...ka!"

"You got a buddy named Kunka?" Miles said sceptically, almost chuckling at how unbelievable it was, but he'd say the guy had balls. Only Captain Man would have the confidence to tell such an obviously shitty lie.

"That's the fakest name I ever heard!"

"Nope! He's real, right, sweet girl? Right?" Ray asked frantically as he stared at his floundering wife, who was slightly overwhelmed by the desperation in those crystal blue eyes - as if he was pleading for her to play along when Mika scoffed and laughed.

"Uh, yeah...sure." She nodded slowly, trying to act normal, but she wouldn't be winning an Oscar any time soon.

"See? And I got plans with him later, so..." Ray said vaguely, casually moving his arm around her shoulders, pecking her cheek to show he wasn't bothered. He was, painfully so, but her skin felt "nice and soft under his lips, soothing his rampant anxiety, even when Mika piped up.

"What are you guys gonna do? Go get some frosted tips?" She sneered, placing a hand on her hip with a small amount of sass.

"Okay, first of all, no one's even gonna remember that reference!" Her teacher spat back, still secretly cringing from how badly his lies failed all those weeks ago when they first assembled. "Second of all, he is real, and we are real friends! And we're close friends!"

"Doofus..." (y/n) softly called out when he agitatedly stepped away from her, strutting to the back room door with definite anger in his gait. But it was useless; he wouldn't listen to her, merely squeezing the edge of her shoulder before he left--without so much as a kiss goodbye, so she knew they'd gotten under his skin.

"In fact, I'm gonna bring him back here to meet you guys later today! How 'bout that?"

"Ray..." Nothing she said or could do would calm him, and the group looked at him sympathetically, wondering which screw was loose as he suddenly fumbled to grab the PearPhone on his belt.

"Oh, what's up?! Somebody's ears must be burning?" He exclaimed before pressing the cell against his ear like his imaginary friend was calling. "Kunka! What's up Kunk-N-Stuff? That's my nickname for him, 'cause we're tight like that."

"You actually married this man?" Mika whispered to (y/n) as they watched the hero disappear into the back room with a nervous smirk. The woman sighed and tiredly pinched the bridge of her nose; they acted like this wasn't their fault, taunting her poor, doofy man-child into getting all silly.

"Yes. Yes, I did," she replied with a slight nod, cringing when Ray's insane, fake conversation continued in the other room. He'd suck it up eventually, and she'd have another word with him about not letting a bunch of teenagers get under his skin. Still, she turned to the girl anyway, hoping to escape it all.

"Let's just go to Hip Hop Purée and talk to this Creston kid."

"You're gonna miss the rat circus, and Colin's on the tightrope!" Bose argued, stopping the woman when she put an arm around Mika's shoulder and reached for the front door handle.

He blinked at her with those innocent, brown eyes, fluttering his eyelashes like an animated movie cat until it was impossible to say no--even if she didn't fancy traipsing after Chapa's crush all day.

"Okay, but just because he's my lil' fur baby..." She sighed, failing to suppress the grin on her face when they hurriedly gathered around the mini tent and peered inside.

The critters were already running around the ring with every bit of bravado and showmanship as humans would. It was strange, but the kids looked so happy, Bose resting his head on his teacher's shoulder as she observed how Colin hopped here and there.

Oh, well, a few minutes wouldn't hurt, and as they snuggled in next to her, nothing seemed wrong at all.

~Hip Hop Purée~

After watching the rodent show, (y/n) finally dragged Mika away from Bose and Miles' encore, pulling her into the car.

It didn't take long to reach the cafe, chattering about everything and nothing as the girls tried to appear normal, pretending they were just two very normal friends going to a very normal place for a very normal snack. Nothing weird about that.

Once at the door, they plastered bright smiles on their faces, glancing at one another before taking a deep breath. This was for Chapa's benefit; they had to keep telling themselves to ignore the gnawing guilt of destroying her first relationship before it had even started.

So, they skipped into Hip Hop Purée, looking slightly insane with their shining smiles. Still, unfortunately, they didn't see the girl immediately, having hoped to grab her and go.

"Hey, sorry to bother you while you're blending..." (y/n) politely greeted the cool, hipster-looking woman at the counter, who could barely hear her over the noisy machine with some unknown goop inside. "But we're looking for Creston."

"Our friend's in like-like with him, and we're here to tell him that he needs to stop--" Mika, bless her heart, started off strong. Confident and sure of herself like they'd discussed, she firmly put her foot down, determined to chase this Creston kid away, but then... he appeared.

Like a heaven-sent angel, Creston walked over from the back kitchen with his perfect face, chiselled by gods, and hair so soft it looked like silk. He raked a hand through those dirty blond locks, his piercing blue eyes meeting his unbothered colleagues as he smiled, revealing perfectly straight, pearly white teeth.

Time practically slowed for Mika, who blinked and gawped at the young man as (y/n) glanced at her, wondering why she'd stopped. Oh - she knew that look in her eye. It was similar to how she looked at Ray when he had his shirt off, doe-eyed and salivating a waterfall when the boy looked at her for a split second.

"Mika? Mika? Mi--oh, god!" She tried calling her name, but it was no use. The girl was lost in her fantasy, and her friend swiftly grabbed an empty mason jar glass from the cashier to collect her dribbling.

And she thought she was bad, going all dumb and dreamy-eyed over her doofus, but this was ridiculous.

"What are you both doing here?!" A furious voice finally broke the girl out of her reverie whilst also making (y/n) jump out of her skin. They spun around to see Chapa glaring at them, and apparently, she wasn't pleased to see Mika making eye candy out of her crush.

"W-well..." the woman replied shakily, not knowing how to break it to her because their plans were undoubtedly mean. Mika, however, had no trouble with spilling it all, suddenly understanding what all the fuss was about.

"He's so cute!"

"Well, duh!" Chapa replied harshly, deepening her frown when the girl turned to the handsome boy with goo-goo eyes. It wasn't fair, not when she'd spotted him first, and it took all of her strength not to zap Mika there and then. "(y/n), you can't let her have him!"

"Have him? He's not the last pudding cup in the refrigerator, Chapa," the woman told her dryly, folding her arms because as much as she loved rom-coms, this wasn't something she wanted to be involved in. It was bad enough being the referee in every other aspect, but keeping them from killing each other over a stupid boy? No, thank you.

"But I like him! What would you have done if someone tried to take Ray away when you were in like-like with him?" The moody girl argued, crossing her arms with a glare intense enough to kill, and she thought she'd made an excellent point.

"..." But for a moment, (y/n) said nothing, thinking of a suitable response. If she told them how much of a mousy doormat she used to be, they'd probably laugh in her face, cackling at how she'd watched the man he loved wine and dine every model and actress in Swellview without saying a word. She got there in the end, but things were complicated back then.

"You say that, but I was very shy back then."

"Yeah, well, I'm not, and you are not having him!" Chapa hissed at Mika, who grew angrier until sweat beaded at her hairline, facing off with her friend like they could fight for victory.

"What makes you think he wants you?" She spat, shoving the other's shoulder a little until they had a little scuffle. Of course, (y/n) had to break it up, but that didn't stop the argument. "He looked at me!"

"He touched my hand when he gave me my smoothie!"

"Back off!"

"You back off!" They snarled at each other, almost sinking their claws in when (y/n) put her palms against each other's chests, shoving them apart as she scowled.

It was medieval, fighting over a boy like that, significantly when neither had ever said two words to him save a formal order for a blended red velvet cake. She pushed them apart even when they scrambled to get closer, scrapping their hands to try and claw clumps out of each other.

"Girls!" The heroine exclaimed sternly, and thankfully, hearing Miss Danger's fury was enough to make them shut up, even if they didn't stop glaring. The girls huffed and folded their arms, backs turned to the other, but at least they'd stopped fighting.

"We are better than this! What happened to sisters before misters?"

"What happens when your sister steals your mister?" Chapa said harshly, only for Mika to stick her tongue out childishly. (y/n) could feel a migraine coming on, wondering how the hell she was going to fix their newfound rivalry, but at least it couldn't get any worse, she thought.

Or so she hoped.

Out of nowhere, Miles sauntered into Hip Hop Purée, having grown bored waiting with Bose back at the school. He had his usual confidence and happy-go-lucky aura about him, smiling at the room before his gaze landed on the gorgeous boy behind the counter, and he couldn't deny his devilishly good looks.

Much like his sister, he stopped dead and stared at Creston, utterly enchanted by that gleaming grin and how he tossed his hair. And it got even worse when his denser, if innocent, friend followed.

"Hey, what's going on?--"

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, not more kids..." (y/n) murmured to herself when she watched Bose pause by the other boy's side. He also fell under Creston's spell, looking all dopey and gormless as their mouths dropped open, allowing all that extra drool to cascade down like Mika's.

The heroine had to act quickly to stop a puddle from forming, holding glass jars under their chins to collect all the saliva, not that they noticed. Everyone, except the grown-ups in the room, fawned over the guy, thinking he was the greatest thing since sliced bread and not bad to look at - a real treat for the eye and all he did was polish a clean cup.

"Ahem!" Mika cleared her throat loudly, breaking the boys from their daydreams as she and Chapa frowned, already plotting their demises. It was hard enough having to compete with each other, let alone them.

"Huh?" They gasped, quickly wiping the spit from their faces as they jolted to look at them, surprised to see their friends looking so cross.

"What are you guys doing here?!" Chapa asked furiously, glad to see that everyone now knew about her little secret, and worst of all, they all fancied him too. Well, save for (y/n), who did not look impressed, either.

"Is that Creston?" Bose whispered excitedly, feeling something strange fluttering in his chest when he saw those infinitely handsome features.

"It sure is..." Mika nodded, and they all took a long second to stare, sighing contently with every fantasy about being lucky enough to earn his affections. That was a dream come true, being Mr or Mrs Creston Something-or-other, watching as those strong, veiny hands cleaned every crevice of the mason jars.

"Guys? Guys?" (y/n) asked repeatedly, trying to get their attention, but by the time she snapped her fingers in front of their noses, they were already taken - lost to the like-like. And then, to their excitement, he spoke!

"Hey, Courtney..." Creston called to his co-worker, tossing the long hair from his eyes as the kids melted at the sound of his boyishly baritone voice. "My hair is tired. I'm gonna go take a break..."

The woman watched in amusement as her students craned their necks to catch every glimpse they could before the teen disappeared into the back. Finally, they snapped out of it, still all smiley and wall-eyed, but at least they could hear her now.

"So...I take it you all like him."

"Like him? (y/n/n), you don't even understand!" Mika exclaimed with a contented sigh as her heart calmed down after racing at the sight of the dear boy. All the signs of attraction were there; increased pulse, dilated pupils, that stupid, dreamy smile that made them look a little high. High on lurveeeeee...

"Oh, I think I do..." (y/n) replied with a chuckle, knowing everything they were feeling and more. Just because she was older didn't mean she never had crushes when she was young, and even now that she was married, she was lucky enough to fancy the pants off her beloved doofus.

"Don't you just adore him? Cresty-westy..." Bose cooed, not even sparing her a glance whilst peering into the back room - anything to get another glimpse of Creston, much to her amusement.

"Cresty? Westy?" She echoed, raising an eyebrow before smiling coyly. "Can't say I like him that much."

"Are you insane? He's gorgeous!" Miles gasped and clutched her arm, looking at his teacher like she was a mutinous traitor who'd just blasphemed in the worst way imaginable. It nearly brought a tear to their eyes, gawping at her in horror for saying anything wrong with their beloved Creston in mind, but that made her laugh harder.

"Yeah...and really not my type." (y/n) wouldn't say the kid was a bad-looking lad - certainly a teen heartthrob - but he was half her age and, most importantly, nothing compared to Captain Man. Sorry, not sorry.

"Yeah, he's my type, okay? Get outta here, you guys!" Chapa responded before turning to her gooey friends, practically snarling with bared teeth when they encroached on her crush.

"No!" Mika argued albeit it wasn't so much for the mission as something more personal and devious. "As long as you're in like-like with Creston, you can't get angry enough to use your powers!"

"So?" The moody girl replied with a sneer, not seeing anything wrong with that. She tightly folded her arms and huffed, thinking she'd give it all up if it meant a single glance from the boy she liked, something she used to hideously mock Ray for when he followed his wife around the Man's Nest, pleading for attention.

"So, I'm trying to get you your powers back--and possibly Creston's number!"

"Oh, Mika. That's low..." (y/n) said with a grimace, and she wasn't surprised when Chapa shoved past her again to square up to her sneaky friend. She could almost see a fight coming...

"What?! No way! I saw him first!" Chapa growled as if that would ever convince them. Mika just scoffed and scowled, returning the attitude as she pushed the woman, who was like a human punching bag.

"That doesn't mean you own him!"

"Yeah! Creston should get to choose his own boo." And it only got worse when the boys chipped in, giving the astounded girl some haughty looks as they jutted their hips out and huffed.

(y/n) did not see that coming, thinking Creston had to have some sort of pheromone shit going on to attract every tween in the area because it was not like Miles to be distracted by something beyond spirituality. And Bose? She always thought he was a ladies' man.

"Wait, so, you guys like-like him now, too?" She asked, and the kids nodded immediately--almost too excitedly to be considered normal. "Okay, this is getting a bit complicated for me..."

"Look, I don't wanna put a label on it..." Miles replied coolly, hoping to keep whatever the fluttering was in his chest casual. Still, either way, Chapa did not like the twinkle in his eye. "But I feel like Creston and I were vibing."

"Dude's bringing it! And I'm signing for delivery," Bose added confidently, unafraid to meet the girls' unimpressed eyes. "He somehow makes soft hair and dimples look good!"

"I have had fifty smoothies in the last four days because of this guy," Chapa seethed, looking positively constipated with fury as she snarled at her friends, pointing a stern finger at the door. "Now, get out of here and let me enjoy my Creston!"

And, much like (y/n) predicted, a brawl broke out between the kids. Chapa, the only one bold enough to throw the first punch, launched herself at Bose, grabbing him by the shoulders when Miles jumped in. He tried to get her off, unafraid of her shrill screams, but she took him on, too, yanking his funky-print shirt with banshee-like wails for them to get out.

"Get out!"

"I am not leaving!"

"Crestooooon!" God, it was embarrassing. (y/n) hid her face in her hands as her students fought in the middle of the cafe, providing entertainment to the few customers trying to enjoy their smoothies in peace.

At least she never caused bodily harm when she crushed on Ray, nor did she cause a public disturbance, but it wasn't about who was the bigger dweeb.

One look from the manager and she knew she had to break it up quickly before they were banned for life, and the last thing she wanted was to have to nurse four little broken hearts because they couldn't see Cresty-westy.

So, as they bickered, swore, and hurled insults at each other, she stomped into the middle of their circle, stomped her foot, and grabbed Chapa and Miles - the instigators - by their ears.

"SHUT UP!" She screamed, yanking the kid's ears until they stopped using those unforgivably inappropriate words - some of which she didn't think were physically possible. Jolts flew from Chapa's fists, and it was only a matter of seconds before one more incident caused the whole of Hip Hop Purée to know who Volt was.

"Okay, you need to calm down!" She told the girl as the others quietened to a few frustrated grumbles. She gently released their ears, not that the argument was over, wary of how her fists still sparked.

"Is your name Taylor Swift?" Chapa asked moodily--as if she'd stand a chance against Miss Danger.

"Unfortunately, no." (y/n) loomed over her, arms folded with her lips set in a firm, straight line, and no one else dared say anything. Ray was easy to handle, but they'd never cross the line with her. Chapa, on the other hand, wasn't afraid to toe it.

"Then, don't tell me to calm down!"

"I'll tell you whatever the hell I like, Chapa. Someone is gonna see your powers, and if they do, help me God, you're gonna wish they disappeared again!" The woman snapped, making the girl visibly recoil, although she tried to hold her ground.

With her fists still clenched, they glared at each other, not that (y/n) backed down either. She'd dealt with bratty kids before, and she'd do it again, never letting the tantruming teen win for a second.

"Oh, great! You got your powers back!" Bose remarked tersely, throwing his friend a gloomy eye roll, but only for utterly superficial reasons. "Creston's probably gonna like you the best!"

"No, he won't!" Mika cried, heart clenching when the sparking girl smirked beside him, and she snarled at Bose for even suggesting such a terrible thing.

"Are you kidding? Sparks will literally fly!" He yelled back, but not before something in their pockets vibrated harshly. The unique cases they kept their gum in, which was also equipped with a GPS-monitored, holo-calling interface, allowed them to receive crime updates whenever something happened.

"What the heck was that?!"

"It was a super-buzz from Schwoz. You should know that by now!" Mika told Chapa childishly as they dug the cases out and saw the notification flashing on the touch screens.

(y/n) got one, too, although she wasn't fancy enough to have the small tin, checking her PearPhone instead to read an alarming message.

"Oh, great. Something's going on at the Nacho Ball--the nice one!" She said concernedly, hating if something happened to the best fast food joint in town. If it was the close one, she wouldn't care; that place was filled with all manner of rabble, but the close one? That was worth protecting.

"Then, let's go!" Bose exclaimed, and they all screamed - rather embarrassingly - in agreement. Of course, the children knew it was their duty to report for an emergency. Still, none of them could help but look at their bae one last time, smiling sweetly when he reappeared from the kitchen.

"Hey, Creston..."

"How late are you working tonight?" The girls asked softly, almost drooling on the counter again as the dashing boy cleaned another jar with a rag - the only thing he ever seemed to do.

"Nine-thirty..." he replied in that husky voice, which made them weak in the knees, especially Mika. He actually noticed her!

"Oh, we'll be back before then..." Miles sighed as Bose agreed, blinking slowly and licking their lips at the confused boy, who (y/n) guessed got a lot of questionable stares.

"God, come on. Let's go! We have the thing to do at the place!" She exclaimed vaguely before ushering the enamoured kids eagerly toward the door. Their little fingers prodded their gum, trying to get it out, but it was damn tricky when all they could think about was him.

It made the woman sigh, wondering what had happened to the intelligent, sharp students she used to teach. Fawning over a handsome idiot with blue eyes and floppy locks...who the hell would ever do that?

~Nacho Ball...the nice one~

After leaving the Man's Nest, it was safe to say that Ray was not having a good afternoon.

His mission to find a Kunka in a mere few hours had gone poorly, with little to no success. And, on the miraculous chance that he found some weirdo with the made-up name, someone else had something to say about it. Namely, mothers who did not like how he, a fully grown, slightly eccentric man, approached their children, asking if they wanted to be friends.

When he thought out it, it did sound creepy, but oh, the irony of being so hurt by those he used to love so dearly. After every interaction, the moms just grabbed their Kunkas, sprayed him with what felt like liquid fire, and marched off, threatening to call the cops if he showed his face again.

The Nacho Ball was like salvation, offering him polite service, a hot towel to get the mace out of his eyes, and a chance to soothe his quivering nerves.

But it didn't last, not when some asshole tricked him into letting his guard down by saying he was a Kunka, too. The poor doofus lamented, leaving his sweet girl as he clutched his burning eyes, screaming the place down as the delinquent revealed himself to be Takeout - the guy who made his name stealing nothing but greasy food.

"May I get you anything anything else with your robbery today?" Sandy, the ever-polite hostess, asked Takeout as she packed his demanded items into a sack.

She was the fortuitous cousin of Mandy, the girl who never stopped crying, and she ran a tight ship; her excellent service never slipped, not even when threatened.

"Ummmm..." The villain pondered briefly before squirting another burst of pepper spray in Ray's eyes - anything to stop the blubbering idiot from interfering.

Not even Captain Man could spring into action when the stinging spray coated his face; it didn't damage him, obviously, but he couldn't wipe it off, leaving him red-faced and clammy from the repeated assault. If only his wife were there--she would kick his ass--and he could cry on her shoulder.

"No, I don't think so!"

"Do you need utensils? We have conflict-free bamboo forks--" Sandy questioned softly, noticing how the maced gentleman collapsed into a chair to wail and rub his eyes, which only worsened the burning.

That was all well and good, but as Takeout grabbed the wooden cutlery from her, a flash of light burst into the room, and a small group of huddled kids followed it. Danger Force. Surprisingly, Miles' superpower worked, allowing him, Volt, ShoutOut, BrainStorm, and Miss Danger to teleport to the Nacho Ball seconds after donning their uniforms.

Salvation at last.

"What happened?!" Ray exclaimed, seeing nothing but blurry blobs through his sore eyes, and dear lord, he made for a sorry sight. (y/n) whimpered and pouted when she noticed his rubbed-raw face, sweat-drenched skin, and tussled hair, and it didn't take a genius to work out he'd had a rough afternoon - her poor doofus.

"Oooh, it's Miss Danger and Danger Force. Good to see you!" Takeout sneered at the kids as they formed ranks on the heroine's gesture.

He couldn't help but laugh in their faces at how poorly things had gone last time, but Ray perked up upon hearing their names. She was here? If only he could see how hot she was in her super-suit...

"You guys here to help me get away again?"

"Think again, bag-head! Volt!" (y/n) growled and signalled for the girl to attack.

It was the moment of truth to see if she could crush on a boy and still fight, and it was a miracle when she hissed and blasted the cocky villain with a scarlet bolt of lightning. Screaming like a little girl, Takeout didn't stand a chance against her power, flying back over the counter and landing roughly on his back with a groan.

As he grunted and moaned, Ray woozily stood up, wondering what the hell was happening and if he should help since he was the leader, but they had it all under control. Right now, he was no more than a regular citizen and had to be treated as such.

"That guy is my friend!" He announced childishly, wanting to prove a point, even though everyone could deduce he'd been well and thoroughly tricked. Still, they couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him - the moronic sore loser. "Ask him his name!"

They didn't. Honestly, the team didn't care what the guy's name was; all they knew was his criminal identity - Takeout - and that meant Bose had no issue using his carefully honed telekinesis to pick the guy off the ground.

"What's happening?!" The villain cried in fear as he floated like a wayward balloon.

"Pain!" Mika replied, her angry shout turning into one of her super-sonic screams. It sent him hurtling back over the counter again, much like Chapa's lightning had, colliding with a trash can for good measure.

"His name is Kunka, and he is my grown-up friend!"

Yet, to say he'd watched him being thrown about the place, Ray still stuck to his story. It didn't matter if his friend lied and maced him in the face; he had to keep up appearances, even if it was sadly pathetic, really.

"Sir, you need to let us handle this..." (y/n) stepped in as damage control, hoping to get her husband to safety before he got whacked or caught in the fray.

The last thing she wanted was for him to get dragged into something out of uniform. Still, he refused, stomping his foot like a petulant child when the heroine tried to push him to a safe distance.

"What's your name, friend?" Miles asked Takeout with a sigh. It was useless to ask, and he had no interest in genuinely being friends with the crook, but if it shut him up...

"I just said it was Kunka!" Ray spat, leaning out of his wife's arms to glare at the unimpressed boy. He didn't care for the sweat dripping down his face or how he stunk of harsh chemicals, and (y/n) hissed when the big idiot lurched from her grip.

"It's Takeout." Well, that was a killer blow to the hero's ego.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" He wailed dramatically, sobbing even harder than he had with the mace before spinning on his heel to bury his head in the crook of Miss Danger's neck.

It was a little awkward; in his delirious, heartbroken state, he didn't realise that it was weird for Ray Manchester, a married man judging by his wedding ring, to squeeze the heroine like he knew her, whining about the weight and unfairness of modern life. What would Captain Man say if he saw?

"Uh...there, there, citizen. It'll be all right..." (y/n) comforted him awkwardly, lightly rubbing his back whilst trying to fight the urge to wrap him in her embrace entirely. Wetness clung to her neck from his tears as he fisted her skirt, clumsily following her footsteps when she guided him away from the big meanie.

They had to show as little affection as possible, so she distanced herself, naturally feeling a little stiff since he was him and she was her - not connected at that moment.

"Well, I'm taking you out--to jail!" AWOL exclaimed once his boss was out of the way, and without another word - since his quip was so epic - he grabbed the villain and teleported away, leaving the Nacho Ball in peace and safety.

"Oh, that was such an amazing exit line!" Ray screeched, shaking his sweet girl's shoulders as the kids turned to leave. Their work was done, and he was being such a drama queen, spluttering and sobbing like the big baby he was.

"I mean--what the--he said--and then--I mean, come on! This day is the worst!"

"Keep going, I'll deal with him..." Miss Danger told her students as she clamped down on the man's beefy arm, knowing he'd just cause trouble if she left him to his own devices. This was why she didn't let him leave the house unsupervised...

"Sir, come on. Let's get you home."

"Sir?!" Ray sniffled, quickly following his wife when she gently tugged him toward the door, a supportive hand on the small of his back. The name made his tummy flutter, charmed that Miss Danger showed him attention--as if she didn't do that every day.

"Oh, I like that..."

"Just get through the door!" (y/n) said firmly when he gave her a wobbly smirk - his half-brained idea of seduction. She was flattered, cheeks growing warm as his suggestive tone, but it was scandalous for anyone else to hear. So, she urged him to leave before someone put two and two together, but knowing Ray, he couldn't even do that right.

"OW!" He whined when he collided with the automatic door.

"Oh, doofus..." What was she going to do with him?

~The Man's Nest~

Finally, evening fell, and they all could relax.

The kids debriefed after the mission, excitedly chattering about how their superpowers actually worked for once whilst (y/n) wiped the mace from her husband's eyes with a damp cloth.

He hugged her waist as she stood between his legs, cooing about stopping the kids from getting to him, entangling the ring-wearing hands to show he wasn't alone. Never alone.

Having a close circle of friends was okay; it didn't mean they were lonely. He hummed in agreement, but she suspected he was too busy nuzzling her soft tummy once his eyes stopped stinging, returning to his typical, adorable, Golden Retriever self as everyone gathered on the couch.

Popcorn and sodas were shared, laughter filled the air, and Ray turned on the holographic TV channel as he pulled his sweet girl into his lap. He'd missed her all day, hugging her closely, thinking about how he didn't need anyone or anything if he had her.

The kisses he pressed to her lips, cheeks, and temples were disgusting, making the kids grimace when the woman squirmed and twisted in his lap upon being tickled, squealing and begging for him to stop.

It didn't matter if they were the same with Creston; seeing the man-child sweetly kiss his wife to silence her peeling laughter soured the soda.

"So, four hours without seeing each other, and this is what happens?" Miles asked sarcastically as the channel rolled onto KLVY News, and the hero looked at him sternly.

"Yeah, yeah, when you stop obsessing over pretty boys, you'll understand," he told the kid harshly as he rocked his wife like a baby, never tiring of holding her in his arms. And he didn't care who saw them when she cupped his cheek and kissed his jaw.

"Hey, I liked pretty boys once..." (y/n) remarked, loving the feel of his stubble against her skin, giggling when her doofus' surprised, if slightly melancholy, gaze turned to her.

"You did?" He tilted his head cutely in confusion, and butterflies fluttered in her tummy at the hint of jealousy in his voice. He wanted to hunt those boys down and teach them a good lesson...but maybe after a few more hours of cuddling.

"Yeah..."

"What happened?!" Mika gasped, suddenly slamming her hands down on the table because she needed all the advice she could get. And if there was one thing the woman was good at, it was giving subtle, personal advice. Even if the girl was a bit manic when she asked for it

"Did you live happily ever after?! Did they reply to your texts?!"

"No..." (y/n) replied slowly, patting her doofus on the head when he grumbled, moody that some random dudes slid into her DMs. But he didn't need to worry; she smiled warmly at him, making his heart flutter, as she told the kids... "I married him."

Groans resounded around the table, followed by gags and fake throwing-up noises when he pulled her into a soft kiss. Their lips moved against each other briefly, much to their disgust because they were old. And old people were not allowed to feel anything other than companionship.

"Gross!"

"Get a room!" They exclaimed, whacking the hero on the shoulder as he went in for another peck, utterly disgusted at how his hands stroked her hip and legs.

"Breaking news!"

"Oh, shush! This sounds important!" (y/n) giggled at their horrified faces as Trent Overrunder appeared on the holographic screen, looking stony-faced as usual - Mary Gaperman by his side, the perfect foil.

Luckily, the children clammed up, growing silent as a news story broke, distracting them from how Ray snuggled into her warm body more. He happily buried his nose into her neck, sighing at the scent of her shampoo and how it soothed his worries.

"--More like breaking hearts!" And this story sounded juicy. "Swellview's very own heartthrob, Creston Chestwell, has moved to Neighbourville to spend time with his girlfriend. That's right--he's gone!"

"WHHHHHHHY?" And they made fun of Ray for being dramatic. He and (y/n) watched with unphased, yet puzzled, frowns as the kids wailed, looking utterly heartbroken at the terrible news.

The woman felt for them, knowing the heartache of rejection too well. Still, it looked like Creston never really cared in the first place--too busy with this hussy of a girlfriend to notice their affection. That, and they'd never spoken to him - the like-like didn't run that deep.

"Sources say his girlfriend is not even that cute and is actually kinda basic," Mary reported cattily, sounding like she'd fancied the handsome boy a little too. Or maybe she was just confused - that was likely.

"She also wears scrunchies."

"Yuck!" If hearing about his sub-standard girlfriend was bad enough, knowing she had something in common with her was enough to make Mika rip the scrunchie from her hair.

She didn't even want to look at the elastic hair tie, not when he'd forsaken the love story she painted in her fantasies.

"Well, we have no other news, so Mary and I will just sit here in awkward silence."

"Hope you're happy, Creston," the news anchors spat his name like venom, staring soullessly into the camera without another word just to prove a point. It was petty and childish, but everyone was hurting over the sweetheart's loss--well, everyone except the in-love idiots who didn't need pretty boys in their lives.

"Aw, cheer up, guys. There'll be other Creston..." (y/n) said kindly to the kids, taking Bose's chilly hand in her own, but nothing offered much comfort. They just stared sadly into space, silently whimpering as they mourned their lost love and everything it could never be.

"No, there won't," Mika said, wiping her sniffily nose on the back of her sleeve as Chapa patted her back. Their feud was forgotten; now, they were just fallen comrades.

"We're gonna die alone, sad and cold and miserable," the girl spat bitterly, making the adults look at each other with secret eye rolls. They knew they'd be over it tomorrow, but for now, they had to deal with the pity party - so glad they'd found each other and would never need to deal with anyone else again.

That's what happens when you find your soulmate.

"Well, I suppose we should all talk about the lesson we learned today..." Ray said casually as he squeezed his pretty girl's thigh, much to the kids' confusion.

"What?"

"We're learning lessons now?"

"I don't know, Ray. Learning is not really my thing," Bose replied after Miles and Chapa, taking a break from the Nacho Ball meal he'd snuck out before they left. Truer words had never been spoken, a thought that passed through everyone's minds, but they didn't say anything.

Scooching past his beloved wife, Ray stood up, giving her an enchanting smile when she pouted at being left cold and alone without him, but (y/n) knew that cocksure glint in his eye - especially when he smirked at the kids.

"The lesson we all learned today...is that I have a good friend named Kunka."

"No, doofus... You really don't," (y/n) said gently as he beamed proudly, trying to be kind when Danger Force cackled and scoffed, feverishly shaking their heads. He hated how she joined their side, becoming all moody and pouty when she gave him that sympathetic expression.

"Yes, I do, sweet girl!" He exclaimed, practically stamping his foot; close to tears, she stood up to console him. Winding her arms around his neck, the woman hugged her poor husband as tenderly as she could, feeling a little weepy herself when he sniffled.

It had been a long day, and it was no surprise that he felt a little delicate, gripping her waist and rocking her in his embrace like a soft, 'comfort toy.

"Look..." Bose said, channelling his inner Miss Danger and that pleasant, soothing voice she used whenever he had a temper tantrum, but it wasn't the same coming from him. "We know we're your only friends, Ray. It's okay."

"You're not my only friends!" Ray replied distraughtly, and (y/n) struggled to breathe a little when he hugged her even tighter.

He wouldn't let go of her for the world, needing her sweet-smelling perfume and soft body against his like his life depended on it because he just couldn't accept that. Little did they know, but he used to have many people who cared about him. It wasn't his fault that every single one eventually walked away...

"I got lots of friends! I have my wife, and she's so pretty and smart and perfect!" He began blubbering again, causing the woman's shyness when he petted her soft hair and sang her praises.

He was so caught up in his melancholia that he didn't hear the tell-tale beeping of the tube, which was strange. Who would be visiting at this hour?

"I have lots of friends--and they're really cool, and they like me, and they believe me when I say things!"

Someone came up from downstairs, looking across familiar yet unknown surroundings before finally spotting two of the most important people in his life. It was so good to see them again after months of feeling homesick. Still, honestly, it wasn't surprising to see Ray crying his eyes out.

He knew the guy better than most--nearly as much as (y/n/n) - his dear, sweet (y/n/n). How he had missed her cookies, her silly jokes, and, best of all, her hugs. It was good to be back, although he had thought there'd be a bigger welcome wagon, chuckling quietly when he watched the old lovebirds fussing over each other.

"Dude, are you still crying?" Oh, they knew that voice.

Time slowed down as Ray and (y/n) whipped around at the speed of light, swearing they were hallucinating because it couldn't be him. They thought they'd heard him many times - old habits died hard after five years of camaraderie. But, no, the sight was glorious, enough to make their mouths fall open and hearts implode.

Standing there in the Man's Nest light, looking older, scruffier, and perhaps even a little taller, was the artist formerly known as Kid Danger. Henry Hart. In the flesh. The ex-sidekick. The one who'd been there since the very beginning. (y/n)'s first baby.

"Holy shit..." the heroine breathed out, blinking a million times when he flashed that cheeky smile at her, acting as if his out-of-the-goddamn-blue visit was an everyday thing.

But he was real, looking unbelievably honest since the last time they'd seen each other--way back when they'd tied the knot a couple months ago. Judging by how Ray drooled at the mouth, needing a handy glass from Mika to save dirtying (y/n)'s floors, he was happy to see him. Overjoyed, in fact.

It was rare to render the man-child speechless, but he looked like a goldfish as his best friend in the whole wide world jogged down the steps from the tube. He looked around the main room, marvelling at how it reminded him of the Man Cave, save that it had windows.

And Henry knew straight away that (y/n) loved them.

"Why did Schwoz build all this?" He asked jokingly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Hmmm?" Ray wasn't listening, looking utterly ridiculous with the dribble stain down his front like a toddler, but he didn't care.

"When did Schwoz build all this?"

Nothing mattered. Nothing except his sorely missed sidekick, and the world around him faded. Everything he needed was right by his side; his precious wife, who was near tears as her shaky hands clamped over her mouth to withhold a delighted sob, and him...

It was safe to say that when the shock wore off, (y/n)'s resounding scream nearly shook the house down. Her baby was back, and the first thing she did was give him the biggest, warmest, safest, snuggliest hug of his life.

Henry was home.

2 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 6: Quaran-kini (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

wasn't planning on doing this episode, but i was convinced. hear you go ya filthy animals, this is mostly just indulgent doofus and sweet girl scenarios from my silly little head + a little plot.

enjoy :)

p.s watch out for le smut STARTING NOW.

It was like the world had come to a standstill.

Shops were closed, restaurants were boarded up, and schools were empty until further notice. Not a soul stirred in the street; not even the birds seemed to sing in those days, and looking outside, you'd think the apocalypse had come.

Children couldn't play outside; barbecues were a thing of the past, and the height of excitement was when the odd car drove past - and even then, it would only be a police car checking for stragglers. The only sign of life would be the odd twitch of curtains in windows or longing faces peering out at the streets they longed to walk.

No one dared step foot outside their door, and for good reason. The world wasn't safe, forcing everyone and their mother to stay home to protect themselves and others. As maddening as it was to stay indoors day after day, isolated from friends, family, and fun, it was for the best.

At least, that's what (y/n) told herself as she cosied up deep in the Man's Nest, watching the morning news like she did every morning.

"Quarantine," Trent Overrunder announced through a grainy camera, not the pristine equipment his news studio used. Everyone had to be isolated, even news anchors, so he broadcasted from his living room, far away from his infuriating colleague.

"The number between thirteen and fifteen." It was a small blessing to avoid Mary Gaperman like he often did. Still, her cheerful, clueless nature was strangely comforting as she presented to the nation in front of her DIY KLVY background - she'd drawn it herself. It was nice to see them every day; the normality was welcome when life was in such disarray.

"No, Mary, that's fourteen. This is the other thing that we've talked about," the man replied dryly, making the woman giggle as she slowly slurped her cereal, sitting cross-legged on a rarely used couch.

She almost felt normal, sitting there, watching the TV like any other thirty-something-year-old woman and not a superheroine since their schedule usually dictated waking up at ridiculous times after a long night of crimefighting.

"Shelter-in-place."

"That's right. Swellview's freedom of movement has ended. It's gone," Trent reminded the city, his usual joking doing nothing to dampen the severity of the situation. Not many people liked staying home, huffing, puffing, and protesting because they missed the outdoors. That's the thing; they didn't miss it until it was gone, and by then, it was too late.

"Safer at home," Mary highlighted in a weirdly poignant voice, even though she barely knew what day it was, let alone the big story.

"The Vice Mayor says that effective immediately, everyone in the city of Swellview must remain in their homes, and it's all because of an industrial accident I can't describe without laughing..." Admittedly, it was a pretty funny reason--almost unbelievable when it first broke.

(y/n) could barely believe it, finding the idea of isolation slightly intimidating when her life was dictated by public service. The thought of living out the foreseeable future with just her doofus - no kids, no visitors, no work phone calls - was too bizarre to get used to. They were just too used to being so damn busy all the time.

"There's a gas leak...at the Bhutt Factory," Mary reported, her face barely twitching despite how funny the accident was. It was really no laughing matter, not when people could possibly die if they inhaled the leak, but the woman couldn't help but laugh at her TV.

"That's right, Mary. Harold Bhutt, whose family has owned Swellview's natural gas power plant for three generations, released a statement describing exactly what took place."

"The statement says an intruder broke in and unclenched a valve downstairs. The pressure started building deep in the bowels of our factory. We were unable to hold it in, and eventually, it just leaked out." At this point, (y/n) was cackling, perhaps a sign that she'd only had her beloved doofus for company for a while.

Life together wasn't as bad as it sounded, giving them the couple quality time they'd craved for years, and no one worked better together than they did. She didn't find herself bored or steeped in hatred once, spending nearly all the day with him, except when she tootled off to do laundry and other chores. It was like they were any other married couple, and she loved it. Ray did, too.

"Authorities say the gas leak is silent but could be deadly," Trent continued with a steely expression, not even smiling at the hilarity of it all.

"They also predict that as soon as people are confined to their homes, they'll suddenly become obsessed with baking bread, taking pictures of bread, and posting tons of hot, hot bread pics online."

"Hmm...now I wanna bake bread," (y/n) hummed as she turned off the TV, having heard everything old and new to do in the world.

A new hobby wouldn't be awful, and she already had most baked goods down to a tee. Her cooking was legendary after a few practices, and it wouldn't hurt to give her doofus something new to indulge in. Keeping him occupied was exhausting, and there was only so much sex she could offer, making him quite whiny when boredom crept in.

"Can you make cookies, too?" An innocent, optimistic voice came from her right, and her face twisted into a grin when her beloved doofus

came into view.

Ray flopped onto the old couch beside her, revelling in her attention because it had been an hour since he'd lost her to Trent and Mary. Sure, this gas leak thing was important and serious, but he hated seeing her eyebrows twitch in concern at the bad news. He could turn that frown upside down, and, God, he wanted to.

The guy would never admit it, but the thought of spending hour after hour, trapped in the same place, the same four walls, the same air... It made his skin itch and his head pound. He needed his sweet girl as a distraction, or he'd go insane, although there was no better place to get lost than in her sweetness.

"Oh, hey, doof..." (y/n) greeted him with a loud smooch to his stubbly cheek when he broke her out of her bread-inspired pondering. She instinctively curled into his side when he threw an arm over the back of the sofa, pulling her legs into his lap since they could never be too close.

"You want cookies?"

"Yeah, yours," he replied without hesitation, licking his lips at the mere thought. "I like your cookies."

"The oatmeal raisin ones?" The woman said teasingly, even though she knew the answer. Everyone begged for her tried-and-perfected recipe, whether it was her husband, Schwoz, the children, or Santa Claus - although she suspected that those sloppily written notes on Christmas Eve were just Ray wanting more sweet treats.

"Of course. They're legendary."

"And I suppose you want to help make them?" She giggled, feeling almost bashful as he brought her wrist to his lips, kissing her pulse before moving to her fingertips, blessing each one.

Help was being kind. Ray wasn't really a helper, even if he tried his best. They always started with the best intentions, rolling pin, cutters, and ingredients ready to form biscuity goodness. Yet, it always ended in a floury mess.

Not because (y/n) didn't know her own recipe, but because her doofus got distracted, thinking she looked good in an apron--in those jeans--in that skirt--that low-cut top made her boobs look fantastic. And the rest was history. Very messy, sticky, defiled history.

She'd yet to make a batch that didn't involve a little jiggery-pokery, but what her friends didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart," Ray hummed absentmindedly, content to do whatever she said if it meant they could have quieter moments like this one.

Holding her close to his body, he nestled his face into her cleavage, sighing deeply when her perfume and natural scent reached his senses. Everything was so soft - from her skin to her soothing aura - and he nuzzled into her flesh without shame, even going as far as to nibble where he liked.

"You good, doofus?" (y/n) asked gently, sounding utterly bemused as he cuddled into her chest. It wasn't unusual for him, but he seemed extra needy today, reaching up to prod, poke, and squeeze a handful like a stress ball--like playing with her was the most natural and innocent thing in the world.

"Mmm, gimme a minute like this," the hero replied quietly, happy to stay and rest with his beloved wife in his arms and the best pillow in the world. He sighed again, sounding completely satisfied to not move for the next three hours, pressing open kisses to her collarbones and sternum before muttering one word.

"Comfy."

"...This shirt looks good on you. And your hair looks so floofy. I like it." A hand raked through his unruly chocolate locks, moving them one way and another since he hadn't used any of his typical products - not in days.

There'd been a slight hiccup where they'd spend this so-called lockdown, chiefly that they were sort of...trapped. It wasn't as bad as it sounded; the Man's Nest had so many rooms and amenities that even in the garage, they had access to a bed, bathroom, and kitchenette.

(y/n) was annoyed that they were stuck in a place without windows - her true nemesis - but she could ride it out until someone came to unlock the door. She'd even forgiven him for locking them in in the first place, but Ray longed for his creature comforts. The bed he was used to, the big refrigerator, his bottomless bag of hair care.

His beautiful mane hadn't gone this long without proper grooming for some time, becoming floppy and fuzzy since he couldn't slick it into his usual quiff. And while his sweet girl was obsessed with its fluffiness, forever wanting to play with it, he felt silly. Ugly. Unclean.

"Needs styling. You sure you don't want to be my sexy lil' hairdresser?" Ray asked with his prettiest, batting eyelashes, smiling up at her with his cheek resting on her breast. He thanked the lord she'd chosen a scoop-neck blouse that day, giving him access to his second favourite feminine feature - one of many.

But the heroine didn't look convinced, rolling her eyes and petting the floof because she knew better. He'd begged and pleaded for her to give him a haircut, even if it was just to trim his split ends since all the barbers were closed. No one could do it better, sweet girl, he'd cooed, flashing a pair of stainless steel shears before her eyes like it was the easiest thing in the world. Which it most certainly wasn't.

"We've talked about this, Raymond. I'm not even gonna touch those scissors 'cause I know you'll hate me if I give you a lousy style."

"I could never hate you, sweet girl..." He said that, but she honestly feared what he'd do if she gave him an accidental bowl cut or, God forbid, something so terrible he needed a buzz cut.

If she was his first love, his hair was his second, and the thought of being on the end of harsh words and curses made her heart ache. So, nothing could convince her, not even his best seductive tricks. "Come on, I'll make it worthwhile."

"This morning wasn't enough?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow when his lips returned to her skin, smooching, sucking, and biting much more than before. He wasn't exactly subtle, pushing his nose into the valley between her breasts until he could feel the lace of her bra - no shame whatsoever.

"I want you," Ray growled, moving one hand down to her hip as he pulled he further into his lap, suddenly needing her whole body to be flush with his.

Such hunger and animalistic urges kept creeping up on him while they were stuck down there, forcing him to seek out his wife at the most inconvenient of times--two, three, four, maybe even five times a day.

"The fact that your practically suffocating yourself with my boob makes that blatantly obvious," (y/n) retorted, but allowed herself to be manoeuvred into a straddling position, her knees on either side of his hips on the couch.

"Well, I do love them," he noted, sucking a fleeting bruise into an exceptionally soft spot as he playfully jiggled the tit in his left hand. It was like jelly, so amusing and funny to a man-child like him, and he wasn't one to share. "They're so squishy and soft...and aaaall mine."

"Uh-huh."

"Can I fuck them?" Absolutely shameless. The audacity. His request practically gave his sweet girl whiplash, going from nonchalant, innocent snuggling to his filthy-minded fantasies in point-five seconds.

One minute, she was barely paying him any attention, more entranced by his floppy hair than how he toyed with her, and the next, her mouth was wide open, and her fist clenched around his brown thatch. She was used to his antics at this point, knowing Ray had a twelve-year-old boy stuck inside of him, who still laughed at the word sausage, always had a your mom joke up his sleeve, and still got giddy at a pair of boobs.

Of course, they were fascinating things, but really? He'd never really shown any interest in it before, not that he was ever shy when it came to kinky exploration.

"You wanna...with my...?" She stammered, blinking a few times to ensure she wasn't daydreaming. She wasn't; Ray looked pleased with his request, feeling the weight of her tits in his hands like he was juggling a pound of flesh, and he twitched at the mere thought.

"Yeah. Look how pretty they are. Wanna feel them wrapped around my cock," he whispered, eyes flickering to her lips seductively, noticing how her little tongue poked out to moisten them.

He knew he had her attention when his voice lowered like that, thick and rough with lust, and he knew her tummy was fluttering. It was a vulgar idea he'd had tucked away in his mind after watching a rather naughty video in his youth, and admittedly, he'd never tried it. He'd never known a woman long enough to request the...service. Still, his sweet girl would be perfect - the most beautiful, sultry creature he'd ever seen, and so willing.

After all, she was the one who reignited his desire after so many years.

"I thought you wanted cookies," (y/n) said coyly, although she wasn't saying no.

If anything, he'd piqued her interest; imagining her doofus wrecked and breathless over her body wasn't such a bad daydream. And, like always, her pussy didn't mind, beginning to drool when he slipped into his sexual headspace, preparing to retake him even though it had only been two hours since their last romp.

She was never this adventurous before she met her doofus, something he love to remind her about.

"Can't a man have both?" Ray smirked before taking his fingers off her boob for a second so he could dig around in his pocket. He didn't give her time to frown, pulling out a strip of rumpled paper with a shit-eating grin and pushing it into her face until she realised it had something written on it.

The handwriting was familiar, and when her eyes finally focused, (y/n) realised it was hers - a singular word written neatly with a <3 drawn next to it. Oh, she remembered this, suddenly flashing back to another time when they were alone, hot and horny in a tropical paradise. When in Hawaii, give your newly wedded husband all his sexual desires in coupon form - free passes to use her body in any sinful manner imaginable.

And Ray was cashing in today with one polite request... Titfucking.

"A man is greedy," the woman replied, yet a smile grew on her face, the complete opposite of someone who'd be repulsed and averted to the idea. She couldn't say no, not when she'd put it on the table and gave him an indefinite time limit, so secretly, she clenched in anticipation, too.

"He would be if he had an incredibly hot wife like you, darlin'," her lover remarked, cupping her tits and pushing them together with a hungry gaze. He'd always thought she was stunning, but there was something about her today; she was extra hot.

"But I'm the only one who sees you like this. My wife."

(y/n) felt her cheeks warm at that, and she rolled her eyes mirthfully. Her doofus could be so silly sometimes, squeezing her tits and lightly pulling them toward his face, coveting them for himself.

He could barely stand to be separated from his fixation for ten seconds but relented when she swatted him away to pull her shirt over her head. While the scooped neckline framed them beautifully, nothing could prepare Ray to see his darling wife in that bra.

It was stunningly pretty, delicate sheer lace with embroidered flowers in a cutesy, pure garment, ribbons floating from the thin straps. She'd always counted it amongst her favourites, and so had Ray, licking his lips, reaching out to touch her.

"God, look at you."

"My eyes are up here, doofus." (y/n) chuckled when his fingertips brushed her tits, slightly shaking from excitement as if this was his first time seeing them. It almost made her ego swell, seeing such a proud and heroic man mesmerised by something so simple--to the point that he couldn't take his eyes off them.

"Yeah, but fuck me, sweet girl, I--" Ray stammered, concentrating just enough to acknowledge her words as his forefingers and thumbs found and pinched her nipples. "I have good taste in lingerie, huh?"

"Sure, Ray. I'll give you that one." His wife moaned, arching her back at the sudden, pleasurable pain, encouraging him to tug on them.

She'd smack that smirk off his face any other time, but she had her trump card, sneaking her hand to his zipper, where she felt the bulge in his jeans, rubbing along his cock as it pressed against her fingers.

"Although, sometimes I think it's more a present for you than me. Gets you so fucking hard."

"Shit--you know me so well." Ray groaned, nodding gently as she palmed him, cooing over how big he felt. He kept kneading and squishing her tits, enjoying how her nipples stiffened through the lace, even more tantalising for him to play with.

"Thirteen years of knowing you will do that," she replied wistfully, leaning forward to sweetly kiss her doofus as he broke out into the brightest grin - happier that she'd mentioned that than the fact his wife was toying with his zipper, pulling up and down and up.

Their tongues melded together, wrestling as one of her hands stroked his cheek. Making a mental note to help him shave later--after he ate her out, of course--she brushed her wedding ring against his feverish skin, falling in love with how he softly moaned when he was reminded of its presence.

Finally, when they pulled back, their lips were swollen, and a string of saliva connected them, making the man noticeably twitch against her palm. That made her smirk, pecking his moist lips once more when he grumbled at the feeling of her chest rubbing against his.

"It's our fifth anniversary as a couple this year."

"Time flies when you're having fun. And I have to say this," Ray joked. Still, there was no hesitation, mockery, or boredom in his voice as he cupped her breasts again, marvelling at how the bra framed them perfectly, "makes it fly super-duper fast."

"Are you saying all we do is fuck?" (y/n) snorted, only to involuntarily roll her hips into his when he leaned forward to mouth those stiff nipples, wetting the lace when his tongue roamed over them. Some would agree, branding them Catholic rabbits if they were to see them in such a compromising position. Ray, however...

"No...if anything, we--we don't fuck enough."

"Right...Schwoz would argue otherwise," the heroine replied teasingly, knowing she was stoking the fire by bringing up the genius and his cockblocking ways. Still, it was a good, lighthearted way to rile her husband.

His jaw clenched, and his eyes darkened when he remembered all the times he'd rudely interrupted when he was balls deep inside her, had her on her knees, or had her thighs around his ears. He had a knack for interfering, and out of instinct, he pulled her closer, silently scared that the little weirdo was hiding around the corner with a telling-of ready to go.

But no, (y/n) was just teasing. She giggled when he protectively pulled her chest to his face, kissing the tops of her tits passionately like he was making the most of it. And that's when she made her move.

After lulling him into a false sense of security, dancing her fingertips around his thick cock, she carefully opened his pants, drooling when she saw the dark spot on the front of his underwear. Pulling it down swiftly, she took him into her hand, making the hero gasp raggedly when she pumped him slowly but firmly, loving his familiar softness - steel wrapped in velvet.

"Schwoz doesn't know wh--what it's like--" Ray stammered in a choked voice as she stroked his length, rubbing her thumb over his sensitive tip to gather the stickiness gathering there. She was a little minx, but he daredn't move when she made such pleasure course through his veins.

"--to have...the most beautiful woman-n--in y-your bed every night. Fuck, your hands are good."

"Such a big cock...fucks me so good every night, doofus." Her movements stayed slow but strong, loving how his head tilted back, and mouth dropped open. The cool garage air, smelling faintly of engine oil and sawdust, made her skin prickle, but she ignored it, seeking the bigger thrill of sitting above her doofus, half-naked, as she commanded his ecstasy like no other.

Her cunt pulsated when she glanced down and saw how big he was in her fist, knowing how well he stretched her whenever she wanted; she was so damn lucky to have a God-like man willing to fuck her whenever, wherever.

"And mornings. And afternoons. Hell, and evenings if I'm lucky." Her pace increased, jerking him off with a flick of her wrist, rolling the movement to make him grunt and buck his hips.

As he tipped his head back against the couch, lolling from side to side, she shuffled down his body, never breaking her rhythm as she clambered down his knees and onto the floor. Settling between his legs, she looked up and came face to face with his cock, looking even bigger from that angle as her hand never stopped but tilted it toward her lips.

God, it looked so tempting. Many would turn their noses up, but the woman found herself salivating at the thought of a little taste, greedily remembering how he filled her mouth and leaked on her tongue.

This would be the third time in two days that she'd blown him, but it never seemed enough to quench her appetite. It was swollen and soft and desperate for her to take care of it, so she leaned forward and gave the tiniest kitten lick up his shaft, almost squealing when he groaned to the ceiling.

"Maybe Schwoz is right. Maybe celibacy is right for us."

"Schwoz can go fuck himself. I don't want anything to change," Ray said harshly, but the hand that shakily reached to pet her head was achingly tender. His body felt like it was burning with desire, so needy for some kind of salvation that he fisted her hair and pulled her toward his cock, humming throatily when she immediately got to work.

In one fell swoop, her lips kissed his tips before parting, expertly swallowing him down like she'd done hundreds of times before in the last five years. Seeing her in that position - topless, swollen tits hanging in that pretty bra, hunched over with her head in his lap--made him loins tense, feeling so damn lucky to have her as his wife.

"Neither do I," she said as she pulled up for air before going down again, letting him slip down her throat like they'd practised for so long.

"Good," he said softly, gripping her head and moving it in a preferred rhythm, watching with gentle eyes.

Spit leaked from the edges of her mouth, dripping down onto his thighs, but Ray liked it. He loved how messy they could get, hoping they'd end up sticky and filthy enough for a shower because he knew that led to more passionate play. Her tongue danced around wherever she could reach as he slipped further down her throat, pulling encouraging groans and baritone moans from the man above her.

"Just keep going like that, pretty girl. That's it--get me nice and wet, there's a good girl."

"I like it when you call me that." Her voice was rough but sweet when she pulled back with an enamoured smile, basking in his praise. He melted at how innocent she could be, even when she nuzzled his cock with the lower half of her face all slicked up, reaching out to affectionately cup her cheek.

"Yeah? You're my good girl?"

"Uh-huh. Love sucking your cock, Captain. Makes me so wet..." she nodded, maintaining eye contact as she went back down, bobbing her head happily with his guidance.

"Oh, fuck, sweet girl...is that sweet cunt of yours getting all needy and achy?" Ray growled, licking his lips at the thought of getting a taste, and he knew the instant her thighs squeezed together. Her hips bucked a little, swaying as she pulled up to lick his sensitive tip, swirling her tongue around it, much to his pleasure.

"Yes, Captain." (y/n) nodded with a half-smile, jerking him off a little stronger as she gathered the spit in her mouth. It fell from her curled lips in a little droplet, landing on his head so she could quickly smear it down his length.

She wanted him as wet as possible, loving how velvety soft he was in her hand. It was true; her pussy ached from the lack of stimulation, dripping into her soaked panties as she humped the air, and it was so tempting to writhe on the floor. But she was on a mission, ignoring the fire in her veins when he smiled at her.

"That's my good girl--get it all drippin' and juicy for me," he cooed, eager to pull her panties down later--which would undoubtedly match that pretty bra--and drink and drink and drink until he was high from her honeyed sweetness. "Move your head more, darlin', take me deeper..."

Throwing back his head, Ray groaned when his sweet girl slid him back down her throat, swallowing around him. He didn't want to push her too far, but damn, she was eager, looking at him with those wide, innocent eyes that were so keen to please.

The wetness dripped down his cock and pooled on his zipper, and a flash of skin peeked out from his rumpled shirt. Spreading his thighs a little more, he tugged the brightly patterned Hawaiian shirt back, revealing a delicious glimpse of his abs that had (y/n) releasing more slick. She hadn't said it enough, but he looked good enough to eat, ridiculously hot as those huge hands raked through her hair.

"You were made to be my little cocksleeve, weren't you? Fucking chokin' it," he grunted as she coughed a little, tears welling up in her eyes, but (y/n) persisted, insisting that she could still maintain her rhythm.

"And you love it. Just look how well you swallow me, and it's such a big cock for such a little girl."

"Taste so good--" She moaned, feeling her tits rub against his knees when she stared at him, waiting on every command and instruction. His words drove her crazy, completely pliant, as she dove back in, moving passionately. "I bet it does, filthy little girl. You get off on it, don't you?"

"I'll tell you what, sweetheart...If you let me paint these pretty tits, then I promise I'll bend you over the kitchen counter while our cookies are in the oven. Would you like that?" Ray offered, a dirty glint in his eye, although both knew he'd do it anyway, whether they finished here or not.

She moaned around his length, imagining how she'd barely have the dough in the oven before he grabbed her with floury hands and bent her over. He'd find her soaked and needy beyond belief, and Ray would take great delight in being the one on his knees.

"Yeah, you would. I'll eat your pretty pussy and fuck it like you want. Make sure my wife's taken care of."

"Please, doofus. Cum on my tits. Fuck them," she begged, keeping him in her hollowed cheeks as she cupped her tits, pressing and squeezing them in her own hands. It was a sultry, unfair temptation, one Ray's dark eyes couldn't leave as she thumbed her nipples, moaning around his cock.

"I can't wait any longer."

"Needy girl..." he growled, and as much as he loved that pretty bra with the little flowers and cute ribbons framing her tits misted with sweat, it had to go. He'd combust if he didn't get to feel that soft flesh around his cock.

"Fuck, you know I can't ever say no to you, darlin'. Come on--as gorgeous as this is, I want to see what's mine."

Without another word or any more encouragement, she pulled off him for just a moment to slide the dainty straps down her arms. It was a little awkward, bending her arms like origami to try and unhook it at the back while he brushed the hair away from her face.

After a little bit of effort - looking utterly unsexy - she prised the damn thing from her chest, glad to have her breasts free in the cool air, but it was nothing compared to the groan that left her doofus.

"Shit, I'll never get tired of seeing these," Ray praised as he took in the sight of her, and he couldn't help but reach out to gently palm her tit. Call him childish or overly horny--both of which he was--but he loved seeing her topless, sinking further into the couch with a dopey grin, despite how turned on he was.

"Even when I'm old and grey?" (y/n) asked jokingly, allowing him to gently fondle her chest before she leaned in, taking him into her mouth again for one last taste before the part he'd been waiting for.

"What, and say I lived my entire life with you? No regrets, sweet girl."

"No regrets, doofus." She matched his dorky smile, heart fluttering amidst the sensual atmosphere because he was such a romantic at heart, no matter how grumpy he could be.

And for touching her soul so gently, for being such a sweetheart, and for being so patient as she suckled the head of his cock, she rewarded him with what he asked for. It was hard to pull away from his length, missing the taste and softness like a baby who'd dropped their lollipop, but (y/n) never lost her bright smile.

Ray always said her smile was like the sun, warm and bright, and it chased his darkness away, so she beamed for him as she cupped her tits and shuffled as close to the couch as possible. Hunching over his lap, she pressed herself around him, enveloping his slick cock in jelly-like flesh and warmth he'd only ever comparably felt in her cunt.

It wasn't the same, but damn, if it didn't feel good.

"Damn, I could get used to this." The hero grunted as she created a little valley for him to fit in, her saliva spreading across her tits.

He needed a minute before she fucked him with them, losing his composure for a second when he looked down and saved the erotic image in his mind for a lonely night. He'd never want to degrade, hurt, or treat her less than she deserved, but fuck...

She looked so fucking hot on her knees, rocking back and forth on her haunches to move her chest up and down, kissing his tip every time it reached her lips. Spit dripped from the corners of her mouth, and whilst it felt weird to drool on herself, (y/n) let it gush like a river, hearing his breath pick up when it ran into the crevice between her breasts and against his cock.

"Fuck--spit on me, darlin'. Want it to feel like your pussy."

"Like that, doof?" She asked innocently, glancing up to his dark, dilated pupils to check his reaction, and he nodded gently, brushing the strands of hair from her eyes.

This was new for both of them, testing the waters to see what worked and what didn't, but judging by his reaction - clammy skin, flushed cheeks, hooded eyes, and wide, hanging jaw, she wasn't doing bad.

"Fuck, yes..." Ray replied throatily, watching as his cock disappeared and poked out, and being his good girl, she sucked his tip whenever it managed to reach her mouth. "Those tits look so good wrapped around my cock."

"I want you to cum, Ray. Cum all over me. Let everyone know who I belong."

"God, you shouldn't talk like that, sweet girl..." he hissed, throwing his head back violently against the headrest when she whined and moaned, begging for his release in that breathy voice. It was bad for their heart, pumping his blood so wildly that he swore he'd pass out because that little minx knew all his weaknesses.

Anyone with eyes could see she was a goddess walking the earth. Yet, some overlooked the ring he'd given her, so he revelled in marking her with something more...obvious. It was filthy and vulgar, but those luscious tits looked so perfect covered in his load, something (y/n) had to mention with a shit-eating grin as she thrust a little faster.

"Why?"

"You're gonna--gonna make me cum," The man gasped, panting raggedly as his length never left her warmth.

His mind was blank, save for the thought that he couldn't wait to fuck her pretty pussy later, which was mad considering he still hadn't cum yet. But she drove him crazy--endlessly insane with lust when she walked around with such fine features, talking to him like a seductress.

He didn't see anything wrong with spending the day romping around. Still, first, he had to deal with the tingle creeping up his spine, seeping into his belly like molten lava.

"But that's what I want." (y/n) pouted, sensing his reluctance since he didn't want it to end. But she knew exactly what to say to sweeten the deal, letting a glob of saliva settle on her tongue before it fell from her mouth and landed between her tits.

Everything got slicker, allowing him to slip and slide against her blazing skin as she smacked her lips together and purred.

"Cum on me, doofus. The sooner you make a mess of me, the sooner I can clean myself up."

"Yeah?" He hummed lowly, eyes drooping because he could feel it. His sweet girl was too lovely to resist her wiles, and his fists clenched the cushions he sat on when the pleasure peaked.

"Yeah..." the woman nodded eagerly, thrusting him harder before curling a hand around his length to rapidly jerk him off when she saw the sign of his completion. "Let me taste you...and you can taste me."

"Oh, fuck, sweetheart." With a few tugs of her hand, it was all over. Ray blew rope after rope of pearly white cum over her tits, painting them

completely. He roared to the sky, freezing on the couch as she moaned and cooed through his release, mumbling, whispering, and ranting that she wanted it all.

Honestly, it was a dirty secret of hers; she loved having his seed on her skin, dripping down her body to claim her as his. It trickled down her tits and dripped onto her stomach, tickling slightly as she jerked the last few precious drops from his tip. His breathing was shaky, and his cock softened almost immediately until she was merely holding him gently, cleaning the delicious remnants as he twitched sensitively.

"You still with me, doof?" She whispered, but Ray could barely respond. His world was hazy, and every nerve was on fire in the best way possible, yet his girl didn't waver. She nuzzled his knee affectionately, waiting for him to recover before she didn't do anything else - he loved how she waited for his instruction, even if his brain barely worked.

"Yeah..." Was all he could manage, swallowing dryly before cracking an eye open to glance at his beloved wife. "Yeah, just give me a minute."

"You look so beautiful like that, darlin'. Stay like that for a second," he told her after collecting his thoughts, long enough to sigh when he saw how effortlessly gorgeous she was.

Her hair was a mess, her chest was covered in his cum, and her skin was covered in a light sheen, but God, he was smitten. Beyond in love, thinking he'd never seen someone as angelic in all his born days. Well, he thought angelic...until she cupped those tits and began playing with them, circling a finger lightly around her nipple as she peered up at him through her lashes.

He could cum again just by looking at her, growing hard again as she jiggled her chest under the lights, taunting him.

"Push them together again--good girl."

"Do I look hot?" (y/n) asked teasingly, smirking when he nodded slowly. Such a gentleman - he made an effort to look her in the eye, but he could barely tear his gaze away from down south.

"Fuckin' smokin'," Ray replied throatily. He was almost tempted to yank her onto his lap to clean up his mess when she interrupted him, rising off her haunches and into a proper kneel as she swiped a finger down her front.

"Good... Can I eat it now?"

"Dirty girl."

"You say all these things, Raymond, but," the minx said lowly, swirling her fingertip through the pearly release before bringing it to her lips with a look of pure satisfaction.

"You and I both know you'll have me bent over that counter before I even open the cupboards." Oh, he would. She was asking for it, sucking her finger down to the knuckle, never even breaking eye contact.

And she wondered why he was so damn insatiable.

An hour or two later, and they were satisfied...for now.

The cookies were fresh out of the oven, and the kitchenette was clean, no thanks to the utterly debauched things Ray did to his sweet girl during the baking time.

(y/n) was a little wobbly on her feet, but that would pass - what she told herself as she hobbled from one chore to the next. After sweeping and sanitising the counters, she carried their grubby and sweaty clothes to the laundry room next to the garage.

All she needed to do was switch the machine on and prepare the dryer, which sounded like a mountain of work for her doofus. He didn't see why she needed to clean, dust, tidy, and organise, traipsing on her heels like a lost puppy when, eventually, even that got tedious. Whatever her reasons, she was busy, and he was...bored.

Hideously bored - the worst feeling. There was nothing on the shitty, little TV in the corner; he'd read all the magazines, completed every jigsaw puzzle, and had even untangled all the Christmas lights, ready for the holidays in four months. Life stuck in the garage was awful, but his darling wife made it tolerable...when she wasn't separating darks, colours, and whites.

"Sweet girl...?"

"Yeah?" (y/n) called out from the other room, where a soft, flowery, soapy smell radiated to his nose. She sounded distant and distracted, more concerned with adding detergents and softeners and God knows what else to come and cuddle with him, so he just sighed.

"Nothing..."

What else was there to do? Ray was pretty sure he'd done everything, glancing at the junk they had stored on the shelves, and none of it seemed particularly interesting. Not even their honeymoon photos could excite him anymore, given that they'd poured over them the previous night, cooing and reminiscing about every little thing.

Even the...saucy ones.

Maybe he could look over them once more--perhaps he could persuade her to come over, and they'd reenact what they did in the pool. But then, he spotted something else. Something with endless possibilities. His old PC.

It was dusty and hadn't been used in at least 6 years, but to his surprise, it still turned on, booting up and connecting to the internet. Thank God the Wi-Fi still worked here, and he instantly knew who to video chat with because if his precious wife was unavailable, there was always the next best thing.

The next four best things.

"HELP ME! OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME!" Well, he wasn't exactly subtle about it.

Mika, Bose, and Chapa stared back at him tiredly on his monitor, wondering what all the fuss was about.

They'd been confined to their houses, too, meaning their sidekick duties - also known as Rabysitting - had to stop. Still, they never expected him to interrupt their call since everyone knew he had (y/n/n) and needed no one else. Surely, it couldn't be that bad, but the heroine was nowhere to be seen, so Ray was antsy and whiny - an utter baby.

"What's wrong?" Chapa asked, frowning when she noticed he was almost paranoid, glancing over his shoulder every five seconds.

"I'm stuck in the Man's Nest garage!" He screamed, fidgeting in his seat the longer his sweet girl took sorting out the laundry. He wanted her in his arms, soothing him like only she could, but the kids would have to do - they'd listen to his problems...begrudgingly.

"How did you--"

"When the quarantine hit, I ran in here to get my collection of pictures of my sweet girl!" The man exclaimed frantically, interrupting Mika's confusion and shoving a box before the camera.

That's where they kept their honeymoon photos, along with all the others they'd taken over their years of knowing each other, and Ray just knew they'd keep him going while the world stood still. But he'd never expected them to cause so much trouble.

"But then, I locked myself in, and Schwoz isn't here!"

"Okay, so, where's (y/n)? Can't you go play with her?" Mika asked as the others wrinkled their noses, not even wanting to know what she meant by that.

The happy couple had been locked in a small space, thankfully warm, fed, and watered, without anyone to interrupt for days - maybe they should expect another addition to the nest in the coming weeks?

"I already did!" The hero wailed, drawing puking noises from the children, who seriously considered muting their PearBooks as he kept ranting and raving. "But now she's busy doing the stupid laundry! I'm so bored!"

"Dude, she's gonna be, like, five minutes," Chapa told him flatly, not seeing the big deal since her friend always did chores. Still, he usually had someone else to bug before she returned to baby him. If Schwoz was gone, he must've been going insane, not that they could help beyond making ClikClok dances and baking bread.

"Five minutes is subjective!"

"Ray, you can't bargain with time." His hands brushed through his tussled hair as he rolled his eyes, knowing they didn't understand. They were content to do their dances and watch crap on TV, but he couldn't rest easy, not when his wife was so very far away.

"But I want my sweet girl!"

"She's right there. I can see her." Mika's calm, clear voice of reason said out of nowhere, snapping Ray's gloomy gaze up to her little square on the video call. He followed her line of sight before realising that she was looking behind him, and when he turned, it was glorious.

"WHERE?!"

His sweet girl floated toward him like an angel, dusting herself down as she emerged from the laundry room to the sound of a washing machine going round and round. Whatever she'd been fiddling with was now over, so she returned to see if her doofus had gone mad without her - understatement of the year.

Ray grinned when she smiled gently at him, looking a little confused since she'd expected him to be doing anything but talking to someone, let alone Danger Force. Still, she reached over to touch his shoulder, peering over it to beam at her four bemused babies - it seemed like ages since she'd last seen their adorable little faces. And they were decidedly happier to see her than they were Ray.

"Oh, hey, guys! I didn't expect to see you today."

"Hello, (y/n/n)."

"Hey..." Bose and Mika waved back at her pleasantly, wishing they could go and visit their favourite superheroine since she'd texted about all the baking she could do now that their secret duties were suspended.

If there was one thing they'd learned to love, it was her cooking, especially those legendary cookies, one of the only things they agreed on with Ray. Still, she mentioned possibly posting some out if the law loosened or saving a massive batch for whenever they reunited, so that was something to look forward to, not to mention the warm hugs she'd give them.

"See? You always go crazy whenever she's not with you," Chapa groaned and rolled her eyes, not missing how the hero relaxed and turned all innocent and puppy-like now she was here.

"Oh, Raymond..." (y/n) sighed, casting her gentle eyes down at her doofus as he glared at the moody girl, hoping to remain calm and collected for his wife, not that she bought it. Leaning down, she kissed her forehead, brushing away the hair he'd messed up as she giggled.

"Have you been bothering the kids again?"

"No!" Ray exclaimed defensively, although his eyelids fluttered slightly at her affection, loving how her warm tummy brushed his back as she stood behind his chair. "Don't even listen to them, darlin'. Have I told you how pretty you look today?"

"Once or twice..."

"Jeez, we're at home and still have to watch them flirt," Bose commented with a slight grimace when they kissed on camera, tempting him to shield his eyes as the woman's fingertips breached the collar of that orange shirt.

"Can't a man love his wife?" The hero argued, but there was no animosity in his tone, just pure adoration for the woman curling her arms around her neck, smooching his cheek as she laughed at their disgusted faces. It was too much for Chapa, who clicked off the call when a rumbling groan left the man's chest, clearly getting too comfortable for her liking.

They just didn't understand - it was criminal for him to look so handsome, and his hair seemed extra floofy now that she'd tugged and run her fingers through it in the kitchen. And she loved him; it was just that simple.

"You can when we're all alone..."

"Hey, (y/n/n). It's quarantine--where did Schwoz go?" Mika interrupted their kissy-kissy, too curious for her own good, even though it was dangerous to distract her from Ray's love.

"This doofus sent him to Canada to get all the hair products he can't get in America," she replied, shaking her head and pointing her thumb toward her husband, albeit with a growing smile. He could be so stupid sometimes, obsessing over his ablutions, lotions, and potions more than she did, all in the name of beauty - as if he wasn't gorgeous.

"I can't get it in America because everybody in this country just loves whales so much more than they love great hair!" He complained, wildly gesturing to his hideous hair, and no know could tell him it looked great, not even his sweet girl as she petted his head.

His life wouldn't be complete if he didn't wake up and spend a million hours on his personal grooming every morning. He honestly believed his wife wouldn't find him as attractive. She could argue otherwise until she was blue in the face, mumbling how pretty he was in his ear so the children couldn't hear, but no. It was a conspiracy - a whale conspiracy.

"Are there whale parts in your hair gel?!" Mika gasped in horror, having always wondered how his hair defied gravity like that, but that was gross and cruel, not that Ray cared about her concern.

"WHO CAAAAARES?!"

"Raymond, stop shouting in the house," (y/n) scolded the man as he yelled down the microphone, hurting her poor little ears.

"Sorry, darlin'..." He glanced back at her with a pout, hating how he disappointed her - the true boss of the Man's Nest - but he couldn't help it. His hair was in jeopardy, and it was drooping by the second.

"It's just...all I know is I'm down to my last bottle of Whaler's Choice Hair Gel, we're stuck in this room, and I don't know if I can do this quarantine thing!"

"It's not that bad, doofus. We have food, water, a place to sleep, and each other..." his wife tried to comfort him, kissing his temple between words as he grew increasingly agitated.

The cabin fever was undeniably getting to him, even if their situation was nearly identical to how they usually lived - although she wisely omitted that fact. Generally, they could go days without going outside, waiting for the next emergency call, but Ray didn't see that.

All he knew was that eventually, he'd run out of things to do, including his sweet girl, and the thought of their love becoming tedious terrified him. What if it never ended? What if the confined space made her resent him after a few weeks? What if he went insane?

"Well, maybe it will end tomorrow," Bose suggested, breaking him from his self-induced panic. It was unlikely but possible, a glimmer of hope in the darkness, and enough to raise the hero's spirits when combined with (y/n) 's affection.

"Yeah! Don't abandon hope," Mika added warmly, smiling when she watched the couple snuggle up, leaning on each other for support and comfort. "You always say you need nothing and no one other than (y/n/n). I'm sure you're loving the quality couple time together."

"We're doing okay. We're just not used to having nothing to do all day and night," her friend replied with a slight laugh, eyes crinkling when Ray absentmindedly kissed her wedding ring, not knowing it meant more to him than anything that he didn't have to go through this alone.

At the very least, he got to go to bed and wake up with her in his arms, see her smile all day, and hear every silly story she could think of. That was a hidden blessing, and he felt a bit better...

"Hey, news alert!"...until Bose opened his mouth, checking a notification on his phone, or rather, a harbinger of a bad temper. They all turned the news channel on, (y/n) reaching for the remote for their tiny, fuzzy TV and immediately seeing Trent and Mary.

"Breaking news! The Vice Mayor says that everyone in Swellview should abandon hope." That was precisely what the city didn't want to hear, making the team's smiles drop in disappointment. Trent put it so bluntly in that sarcastic drone of his, and it was a pretty poor move from the politician, the one who should've been setting an example.

"Because this quarantine just got extended for another month," Mary announced with a beaming smile. She was the only one excited about it. For Ray, it was like a punch to the gut.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" His screams practically shook down the Man's Nest, reaching across Swellview with enough power to rival ShoutOut's super-scream. He wasn't happy, dramatically throwing his head back into (y/n)'s soft tummy as he thought about how long they'd be stuck indoors. All his beloved wife could do was pet his silky hair and promise it would be okay.

After all, how bad could one month be?

Day three of the official quarantine broke over Swellview, and some were coping better than others.

Trent and Mary were on the verge of splitting up their dynamic journalistic duo, cutting news sessions short just because they couldn't stand each other. At least they could walk away from the cameras, settling into a quiet few days of bread-baking and writing novels--because that's all they could do.

The kids weren't too concerned, picking up new skills they'd always wanted to learn but never got around to - languages, dancing, singing, Clik-Clok-making. They wanted to be more rounded individuals, and it was going well.

The same couldn't be said for Ray, however.

He was bored out of his mind, mooching around the garage with a childish pout. The close air was getting to him, longing to go outside and run around after the city's criminal scum, but Schwoz was still selfishly in Canada. And his hair was getting worse by the second.

"Ray, I hope you're not messing with the kids again on there." He heard his sweet girl shout from the kitchenette as he poked and prodded the ancient computer. She'd warned him about annoying them, saying no one liked a loser online, but he couldn't help it.

"'Course not, darlin'!" The hero called back - a filthy black lie as he typed in the login details to his EnvyGram account.

Was it such a bad thing to want to keep tabs on his protégés? Just to make sure they weren't going crazy like him? He reasoned that it was what any good teacher would do, even if he constantly glanced over his shoulder to check for his wife and her frowny face. Thankfully, she was busy making lunch, toasting sandwiches and tossing a salad, so this was his chance to click on the website.

Instantly, he saw one of his followers recording something, grinning when Miles' profile picture hovered under his mouse. It wouldn't hurt to join in, would it? Not when (y/n) was chopping tomatoes and humming to herself, perfectly content to stay in her own little world while he was there, lost, lonely, and bored.

He joined the video recording doohickey thing. A slight shudder of shame and hesitancy passed through him, wondering if he should've just clicked off, but Ray couldn't bring himself to do it when he saw the boy. With only one viewer - him - Miles wasn't exactly a social influencer, dancing around with a cat filter, only to glare when he realised what had happened.

"Right meow, we've got...one person watching, and it's my teacher," the boy sighed, his eyes sliding shut tiredly when he saw that the weirdo had returned, probably with more self-pitying.

The texting, calling, and mailing had been constant and never-ending, leaving Miles, his sister, and the others feeling like they'd never left school. They thought he'd have endless fun with his pretty girl alone at home.

"And I see him, so you can stop commenting. Stop commenting. I see you--stop commenting!" He exclaimed exasperatedly, hoping to ignore the incessant messages, ranging from "Hi, how are you?" to "NOTICE ME!". Ultimately, he succumbed to Ray's request to let him join the stream, shaking his head when the man's camera switched on.

"Miles, there's a Danger Force Zangout meeting about the end of quarantine. I need you there," the man instructed, barely glancing up from how his hand scrubbed his stubbly face. He looked rough, bags under his eyes with unkempt hair - but Miles couldn't be sure if that was because of his troubles or from...something else.

"Bruh, your hair is a mess!"

"Are we on EnvyGram live?" Ray asked sharply, starting up straight when he saw the red button in the corner of the screen. No one could see him looking like this, but he shouldn't have been so loud.

"Yes, we are," the kid confirmed shortly before quickly moving on, "hey! Congratulations to that one fan who won--" Before Miles could even finish his sentence, his livestream collapsed. Or rather, his social media shut down completely, collapsing into a regular video call with several other unimpressed children--namely his glum, stony-faced friends.

"Did you just kick me off?!" He asked angrily, not that Ray cared. He rubbed his tired eyes and groaned, drawing another puzzled look from the woman in the other room.

"YES!"

In the kitchen, (y/n) placed her knife down on the chopping board, wondering what all the noise was about since he husband was supposed to be stewing by himself. She knew this was hard for him, but if she allowed him within three feet of her when cooking, lunch nearly always took an extra hour because of his wandering hands. So, she trusted him to entertain himself while she threw together a few things, yet when she turned around, her gaze hardened.

"RAYMOND!" Busted.

"Oh, shit..." Ray muttered under his breath, suddenly terrified when he heard stomping steps approaching.

As the children giggled and smirked, amused by his paling complexion, he glanced over his shoulder, squeaking when he saw his furious wife marching toward the dusty, old desk. All he could do was feign ignorance and innocence, but he'd never been very good at lying to her.

"Hello, my love..."

"Nuh-uh, there's no sweet talking this time..." (y/n) said sternly, folding her arms when she glanced at the computer screen and saw all the kids waving at their cameras, confirming her suspicions.

"You said you'd leave everyone alone and cause no more trouble."

"Did I?" He replied quietly, staring at his keyboard when she touched his shoulder gently and perched herself on his knee- he couldn't run for it now.

"Yes! You promised!"

"Oh, yeah..." An arm curled around her waist, securing her against his side as he avoided eye contact, much to the children's entertainment. He'd been caught red-handed but couldn't let her fall, even managing a small smile when she cupped his scruffy cheek and stroked his jawline - a revolting sight, but at least he wasn't as whiny.

"Still, I needed everyone together, and we're all here now."

"If you think things are miserable now, see what it's like when I make you sleep on the sofa, doofus," the heroine warned, albeit smiling. She could never stay mad at him, not when she'd married the world's silliest, most adorable, most loving man.

"But sweet girl..." he pouted cutely, proving her point and melting her heart.

"Don't be a doofus all of quarantine, doofus."

"Of course not, sweet girl," Ray replied quietly before leaning forward to gently peck her lips - his way of begging for forgiveness. But judging by the way (y/n)'s eyes softened, and how she leaned in again, the kids would say he was never really in trouble in the first place.

"Hey, (y/n/n), you busy?" Mika asked, butting into their little moment and pulling them out of their smiley, gooey revelries.

"Well, I'm sure our definitions of busy are different..." the woman giggled, noting her husband's pink cheeks as he wrinkled his nose, supposedly annoyed that their fun had been interrupted. But this was the most fun he'd had in hours - days even.

"But not especially. Go on..."

"Schwoz put secret apps on all our devices so he and Ray can watch everything we do," the girl revealed, having wondered why the man always knew what they were up to online. Now, she knew why - such an invasion of their privacy made her friend frown.

"Doofus, me and you are gonna fall out..." (y/n) sighed, wondering what her husband had been up to now. She brushed his slightly greasy, definitely shaggy locks out of his face, giving him a tired, scolding glance because, for someone who had nothing to do, he'd been swamped.

"Don't say that, darlin'," Ray replied dejectedly, giving her those big, blue eyes of his as he clung to her hips. He'd done it for the best of reasons, even if it was a little creepy in hindsight. "I'd never want to get on the wrong side of you."

"Then, stop being so doofy," she told him, pinching his chin and shaking her head before looking at the computer again. "I'll look into deleting the app, Mika. Don't worry."

"Thanks, (y/n)." The girl smiled satisfactorily, making Ray glare a little at her because she was now in his wife's good books. As was Murphy's Law.

"All right." Still, he moved on with the grace and dignity his sweet girl expected and deserved, beginning his meeting with a chorus of sighs and grunts. "First item on the agenda--I got quarantine hair."

"You ran out of whale gel already?" Bose asked as (y/n) brushed her fingers through the mess, liking its softness despite Ray's complaints. The boy knew the complexities of taking care of such luscious locks, but he must've been using handfuls of the greasy stuff, slopping it on to keep that mane in check.

"You guys gotta help me end this before this gets any worse," Ray begged, gesturing to his floppy, dull hair, terrified of how it would look tomorrow, the day after that, and beyond. That, and the quarantine was gonna kill him - bore him to death.

"It's not that bad..." (y/n) mumbled, adjusting her position on his knee before stroking his head soothingly. It was nice not to worry about ruining his perfect styling or seeing him titter and fuss when one strand fell out of place. He looked softer, more natural, and no less handsome.

"Who cares what your hair looks like if you both can't leave the Man's Nest anyway?" Chapa asked, agreeing with the woman, but her teacher didn't care, rolling his eyes to the back of his skull because she just didn't understand.

"Uh, quick question, Chapa. How many covers of Luscious Hair Quarterly have you been on?"

"Zero," she replied dryly, uncaring toward something trivial and unnecessary, but that magazine was a pillar of his ego.

"Zero? Like, not at all? Like, not a single one? 'Cause I've been on sixty-two of them!" He screamed into the camera, deepening Chapa's scowl as she patiently listened to the mini-rant.

"Okay, so as soon as you have been on sixty-two covers of Luscious Hair Quarterly, then you can comment on my hair, which, by the way, my wife is exceptionally fond of, just like I am of her!"

"Oh, Raymond!" (y/n) exclaimed, but in delight or admiration of his noble confession. Instead, she smacked his shoulder when she watched Chapa stomp off camera, probably to punch something or shed a few tears since the woman knew the girl was more sensitive than she let on.

"Chapa! Wait!" She called, but it was too late, making her slump back against her husband with a huff. "Oh, nice one, you big doof!"

"Don't worry, pretty girl! I'm gonna find out whoever caused this gas leak, and I'm gonna punch them in the face five hundred times!" The hero growled and squeezed her hip, vowing he'd have his revenge for ruining every mission, date, and adventure opportunity for the next month.

"Yeah, but that still won't end the quarantine!" Miles pointed out, and (y/n) hummed in agreement, knowing he had Ray there.

"Schwoz!" But that didn't stop him, the big doofus.

"He's stuck in Canada, Raymond," the heroine reminded him, although admittedly, she lamented the genius' absence too. Perhaps if he were there, Ray wouldn't be such a handful--with the entire hideout to roam and someone else to bug.

"SCHWOZ!"

"Oh, would you stop yelling in my ear?!" She grumbled again, standing up from his lap with her hands over her poor little ears. It only worsened Ray's mood, losing her warmth as he called out for that bald, coconut-headed weirdo. That layabout was never around when he needed him.

"Yeah, dude, quiet down. I'm trying to learn sign language by watching TV!" Bose added before leaving his screen, just as Chapa returned from her little sulk.

"How could you possibly learn sign language by watching TV--"

"SCHWOZ?!" The girl questioned as the man kept yelling, practically tearing his hair out now that (y/n) had slipped away - back to their forgotten lunch, not that he was hungry now.

Their problems seemed minor and insignificant compared to his, staring longingly at the curvaceous and lovely figure in the doorway to the other room. He just wanted things to return to how they were mere days before, and it started with Schowz - wherever he'd wandered off to.

Luckily, Miles couldn't stand the shouting any longer, doing a little clicking and tapping until he managed to call the handyman.

"I got him!" He cried, and low and behold, Schwoz joined the video call. His little screen slotted between them, showing off his gleaming grin, cosy little room, and a fuzzy and furry dog nestled in his arms. Whatever he'd been doing, wherever he was, the guy had certainly made himself at home.

"Hi from Canada!" He greeted them, and they'd never been happier to hear his funny accent. Even (y/n) raced back into the room to see if it was true - that her mind wasn't playing tricks on her - and she smiled when she saw her friend onscreen, perfectly content and healthy, yet so far away.

"I'm about to go ice climbing while I wait for my sourdough to rise!"

"Sourdough? Oh, you have to give me your recipe, Schwozie. I'll give you a hint about my oat raisin cookies," the woman said, her sunny smile practically beaming through the camera as the genius petted his little friend. Oh, the precious creature was adorable, with black and white fur, soulful eyes, and a button nose, and it melted her heart.

"And who's that little guy?"

"This is Bodhi. He's my ice-climbing guide dog."

"Aw, look at the puppy!" Mika cooed with her brother, fawning over the dog as Schwoz presented him with pride. He was undeniably adorable, and even Ray couldn't say otherwise, yet he didn't like how his wife was so enchanted by the animal, squealing over how cute it was. He was cute, and hated how she leaned over him to get a better look.

"Where's my Punch-Through Screen, Schwoz?!" He demanded to know with his usual impatience and cold tone, but deep down, he'd missed the weirdo terribly.

"Oh, it's next to the rock you stole from the beach because you think it looks like your face," Schwoz replied, knowing why he'd enjoyed staying in his Canadian shack for a few days. The peace and quiet nurtured his soul, whilst Ray was so damn abrasive.

"Rock Handsome?!" Ray gasped, remembering when he'd found that rock on a cold winter beach, flanked by his darling wife as she chased the waves. Only they weren't married back then, just those idiotic "friends" who went on seaside dates and swapped pebbles because they were special.

"Thanks, Schwoz!" The man grinned, suddenly in a much cheerier mood, as he hit a button on his keyboard and turned off the call. He had work to do between finding Schwoz's invention and formulating a plan.

"Doofus, are you really gonna use that thing?" (y/n) asked as she watched her doofus hop, skip, and jump across the room, finding his face-like rock on a junk-filled shelf in the garage depths. She didn't see why they had to go around causing trouble, not when they had it pretty cushy in their little den.

"Uh-huh. Sure, am, sweet girl..." the hero replied, dashing back to his desk with a small, weird-looking tablet that he plugged into the central PC tower.

She didn't understand everything, just that Schwoz somehow used the internet to allow two screens to become interdimensional portals. Still, she was straying into quantum mechanics and astrophysics - far beyond her knowledge.

But Ray looked happy enough, moving to rejoin the call now that he'd found his thingamabob, and having him entertained - even for a little while - was a Godsend.

"Right..." She nodded, wondering if it was safe to tiptoe back to the kitchen, but when she turned to sneak away, the man grabbed her wrist and yanked her onto his lap again. A smirking face buried itself against her neck, sighing contently since she was in his embrace and he wasn't bored - all was right in the world.

"Hey..." Ray hummed, murmuring in her ear while the computer beeped and booped, waiting for the video call to connect, "Do you wanna have sex later?"

"I could see if I have a free window in my diary and pencil it in..." (y/n) joked, her ears feeling warm at such a shameless, nonchalant suggestion - one only Ray could make without stuttering. Still, despite her shyness, something told her he'd have his way in the end, judging by how nice the hand felt on her inner thigh...

"That's my girl..." he purred, leaning in to brush his lips against hers, only to pull back at lightning speed when he heard the little dingaling telling him he was back with an audience.

Without missing a beat, Ray flashed his winning Captain Man smile at Schwoz and the children, pretending he hadn't just propositioned his beloved wife. He was as cool as the coolest cucumber, fooling them all as he rolled with his dorky words and impeccable acting.

"Found it! Testing punch!" With the software plugged in, Ray was fearless as he plunged his fist into the monitor, spooking (y/n), who thought he'd surely crack the screen. Instead, it was a technological marvel, watching in shocked amazement as his hand burst through the glass in a crackling explosion of floating pixels and travelled through to Schwoz's computer.

The poor guy. It wasn't so remarkable for him, not when his nose smashed across his face by Ray's superhero punch, which was so powerful it made him see stars. He stumbled back, blinking in surprise at the brutal blow, and Schwoz didn't know what was more painful, his face or how uncaring the hero was, who blew and kissed his knuckles in sweet success.

"Hey!" A stern voice snapped before Bose's frowning face peered at his friends. For a moment, the genius thought the boy was coming to his defence, but... "Quiet down! I'm learning sign language!"

"Wow..." Mika remarked, mildly impressed when she watched her friend sign everything he was saying without fumbling or hesitation - all from one afternoon's practice. For someone so stupid, he was a quick learner.

"I'm gonna go call every criminal in Swellview and screen-punch them until I find out who leaked the gas," Ray declared throatily, ignoring his student's achievement in favour of his bitter thirst for revenge. And he'd have it--he wouldn't rest until he found the culprit, ending his call and turning off the computer.

He didn't need any luck because he was Swellview's greatest crime fighter, so he'd have his guy or gal before sundown. And then, he'd have his sweet reward with an even sweeter girl, unburdened from the knowledge that he'd unravelled the biggest mystery since the Orient Express. Although someone should've told him, that wasn't real.

"Ray..." That precious voice called out to him, and as he rose from the beat-up, old chair, Ray glanced at (y/n), who'd long given up on slicing her tomatoes for lunch. He gave her that smile he always bore when he didn't want her to worry, not that she was. Not that much. Maybe a tad above bothered, yet just below concerned.

"Yeah, sweet girl?" The man asked pleasantly, a damn sight happier now that he had a mission--a purpose.

Without hesitation, he lolloped across the room, where he'd been moping for God knows how long about the burden and stress of modern life, to the endless tubs and drawers where they stored any extra clothes - like winter items in the summer. There, he found an old waterproof jacket, hung up and forgotten about since it was a bit worn; the good thing about it was the striking royal blue colour - the exact shade of Captain Man's super-suit. Paired with a random, spare mask he found lying around, it would create the effect of his uniform, despite not having a gum tube to hand.

"I'm glad you're not grumpy anymore, but how on earth do you expect to find the gas leaker when we can't go outside?" (y/n) asked tentatively, hating to spoil his freshly rejuvenated mood, but she couldn't help it. She'd hate to see him disappointed.

"Easy..." But Ray wasn't so defeatist, shrugging the jacket onto his shoulders and glancing at her like everything made sense. "I'm literally gonna call up every criminal in Swellview and punch them until one of 'em confesses. As you always say, darlin', easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon."

"No, Raymond. Not easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon. That's gonna take forever, and I made grilled cheeses."

"Cheesy toasties?" He gasped, eyes sparkling as they only could when his wife or food were involved. And when it was her food, they shone like the stars in the sky, twinkling with pure happiness because she knew how he liked his sandwiches - toasted until nearly burnt, squished flat, and left to cool slightly.

"Yeah, grilled cheesy toasties like you asked for," the woman replied and folded her arms, knowing the grilled cheeses would be cold and like cardboard by the time he'd tracked down the criminal, not to mention how limp the salad would be.

She didn't see the point of trying to coax him away from doing anything stupid, but Ray was nothing if persistent--and a little dense.

"Huh..." He hummed, looking at his feet for a few seconds as if thinking about something before glancing up at her with a cheeky grin. "Should we have them before or after we have sex?"

"Raymond!"

"I'm kidding, sweet girl." He guffawed at her scandalised reaction, throwing his head back and bearing those pearly, perfect teeth. It was a mean trick to pull, but (y/n) knew better, knowing he probably meant it a little, pushing his luck to see how much rope she'd give him.

The look she gave him said she wasn't in a gaming mood, but then, Ray's gaze softened, seeming almost sheepish. It reminded her of before he confessed to her - the look she now recognised as her beloved doofus holding back his true meaning. He was playing it cagey, and she didn't like it; since when did they have secrets between them?

"We can eat in a bit, just...let me do this."

"Miles is right, doofus. We're stuck in here until the end of the month. Nothing we do will change that, no matter how many people you punch."

"I know..." The man nodded, understanding everything she was saying. He wasn't so stupid as to not see something smacking him in the face, but he was still determined, holding her gaze as he shuddered in his blue jacket, feeling like an utter failure because there was nothing he could do in that situation. No amount of punching would free them, whether he liked it or not.

(y/n) hated seeing him like that, glancing off to the side awkwardly since something was clearly bothering him, so she sidled up to him, slipping her arms around his neck. That way, she could grasp the back of his neck and tilt his face down at hers, searching his eyes for a sign, begging him to tell her something.

And eventually, Ray couldn't hold his tongue anymore, not when she looked at him like that with big, innocent eyes, waiting patiently. They didn't have secrets, and he sure as hell didn't intend to start now.

"I just want something to do to keep me busy. If I keep annoying you, you might...hate me," he revealed slowly, bit by bit, choosing his words carefully until he was whispering by the end - too scared to suggest it in case it came true.

"Raymond Manchester." Her tone was harsh and direct. Still, there was a gentleness to her touch when she stroked his cheeks and connected their foreheads so he couldn't see the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She hated seeing him so unsure and dejected since he was often the centre of attention, but not like this--when no one was watching.

"Who said you were annoying me?"

"We're stuck in the garage, sweetheart, with no way out. And I hate it. I hate feeling useless and can't stand having nothing to do." The man shrugged, holding her close because he hated feeling this vulnerable - like his life was spiralling out of control.

It sounded ridiculous, but he'd never been one for living by someone else's rules, but now, he didn't have a choice.

"You think I haven't noticed? You can barely sit still when there isn't a quarantine, so I knew what I was in for when we got trapped," (y/n) said kindly, skimming the rough skin of his cheeks so delicately--as if she was scared he'd break. His eyes fluttered at the touch, sighing quietly and leaning into her palm because did he really think he could hide it from her?

Perhaps not, but he did it with the best of intentions. When all was said and done, his life would be meaningless if he looked back and watched himself losing her love, and he'd do or say anything to keep it. But she was kind and sweet and lovely and everything he wasn't, so it was no surprise that Ray felt a little less lonely when she squeezed his hand.

"And no matter how much you plod around acting like Eeyore, I could never hate you."

"Promise?" He asked in a quiet voice, just wanting to hear it again and again and again - like music to his ears when she leaned in, brushing her lips against his neck because of his tall frame.

"Pinky promise." She nodded, flashing that sunshiney grin for the millionth time, and he swore it never dimmed in all the time he'd known her.

Dipping down, he brushed against her in a small, gentle kiss, forgetting all those petty complaints about his hair, the stuffy air, the lack of activities, and the absence of friends to talk to. As he kissed her, it was like the world and all its troubles melted away, leaving the two lovers in the middle of a dirty garage, in each other's arms, with nothing more than the dust particles for company.

"We're a team, you and me, Ray. Don't think you're doing this alone," (y/n) mumbled when they pulled away, melting Ray's anxiety with it.

"Mrs Manchester, what would I ever do without you?" He asked with a breathy laugh, staring into her sparkling eyes and wondering how he'd managed to enrapture such a precious creature, who all she ever seemed to do was smile at him.

That carefree smile, her silly stories, and those warm hugs - what would he do?

"Crash, burn, explode, be poisoned, starve, dehydrate, be arrested, get kidnapped, or bore yourself to death, doofus," the heroine giggled, happy to see him happy, pulling her beloved doofus closer by the arms around his neck. "So, go on. Put on your DIY Captain Man uniform and punch some bad guys."

"What will you do while I'm interrogating the scum?" Ray questioned with a chuckle, affectionately stroking her hair as (y/n) scoffed jokingly and jutted her hip out with a flair of faux confidence.

"Hover in the background and check you out, of course."

"I knew I loved you for a reason, pretty girl," he replied, laughing along as he pulled her in for another kiss - a brief, sweet peck before he pulled away and grabbed the nearest mask he could find. It was a little old and dirty, misshapen from being shoved in a box for God knows how long, but it would do, clinging to his face when he delicately placed it over his nose. Those assholes wouldn't know the difference, and anyway, he still looked hot.

"Love you too, doofus." He heard from behind him as he zipped the jacket up to his chin, thinking he didn't look half bad, and it wasn't like the bad guys were gonna see any lower to those tight...sexy...jeans. He had no right to look that hot; glancing over his shoulder to take one last look at his beautiful wife, only to see she was already staring at his muscles, abs, and butt.

'Well, checking him out is my job,' (y/n) thought as she busied herself with various tidying, dusting, and reorganising duties. Luckily for her, there was endless crap in the garage to be thrown out once they were free, and no one liked cleaning more than her.

So, as Ray - or Captain Man - plonked himself back down at the computer, she hovered and observed, wondering how the hell she managed to follow him on every mission without peeling that suit off his--

"So, who do you think I should punch first?" A baritone voice asked--the same one in her fantasies as the one that dragged her out. Blinking a few times, she turned to her doofus, who thankfully hadn't seen her drooling over how his lithe waist looked with his butt--no.

No, no, no, they weren't getting into that again, and she shook off her daydreaming with a smile.

"Hmm?"

"I said, who should I punch first? You good, sweet girl?" Ray looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes, a flicker of concern passing across his face. His precious wife was rarely so spacey, but she waved off his worry with a nonchalant smile as she padded behind his seat.

"Always, doofus," (y/n) replied, kissing the crown of his head before she pulled her PearPhone from her back pocket and opened TwitFlash. "Hmm...apparently, people are saying The Toddler is online right now, doing some video vlog thing. Why don't you start with him?"

"You're so clever, darlin'," the man cooed, reaching around to find her soft body, hoping to drag her onto his lap after the rush of affection he felt, but she wouldn't let him.

Of course, she loved the attention, and seeing him in hero mode did things to her, but if he didn't start now, he wouldn't have answers until their carnal urges were satisfied.

"Call him, doofus," his wife replied firmly, albeit in a bemused tone. As she walked away, Ray returned to his work with a sigh before he looked at his monitor with renewed determination.

She was right - of course, she was. The Toddler was one of the big-time, good-for-nothing assholes in Swellview, and he wouldn't put it past him to cause the leak from the Bhutt Factory; potty humour was his style, after all. So, after a bit of clicking and investigating, he found the man-baby's details, including the link to a video call with him.

And he pressed it without hesitation. Maybe it was an invasion of privacy, and perhaps there were a few dozen laws on computer hacking, but that didn't bother the handsome hero. He wanted answers and would get them, even if he had to sit and wait. And wait. And wait.

The Toddler didn't want to pick up when he was on a roll. With no trickery or mischief to get up to, he'd launched his own vlogging channel. In his lair, he sat in a spare room with a few crudely drawn posters and a stash of stockpiled toilet rolls in the background, talking to his fans through his webcam about some weird diaper face mask hack.

So, when the call finally pushed through, he was shocked to see Captain Man's angry, twisted face peering at him. It's not like they were friends; since when did they swap numbers?

"Captain Man?!"

"Did you leak the gas?!" Ray questioned harshly, shoving his finger into the camera as The Toddler sat there, stunned and confused. There was no time for pleasantries, skipping the hellos, and how are you?'s. He sneered at his archenemy with no time or temperament for games.

"What?" Todd replied, a deep frown etched into his features. And he didn't take too kindly to the hero's tone, not that Captain Man gave a shit.

Without another word, he jabbed the villain in the face, loving how brilliantly Schwoz's invention worked, and even (y/n) had to say she was impressed as she watched from across the room. She'd also plastered a mask across her face. She wasn't too concerned about her casual outfit, but no one could see her identity. Thus, she'd shoved something over it.

Although, The Toddler wouldn't be seeing much after that punch.

"OW!!"

"Did you let it out?!" Ray barked again, hissing through his teeth as the criminal clutched his throbbing nose. He was so hot when he was being all dominating and aggressive, making (y/n) fan herself as she pretended to move some lightbulbs from one container to another, sneaking glances at his torso in that...jacket.

"NO!" The criminal exclaimed indignantly, not liking what the guy was insinuating, but then, he looked a little more closely at his screen and realised something. "And hey, what's wrong with your hair?"

"I like his hair..." (y/n) mumbled to herself as she heard the ruckus of her doofus punching The Toddler again. The exerted grunt that fell from his lips made her tummy do somersaults, biting back a smile as the villain howled in pain, questioning what he'd done wrong.

"I didn't leak the masks, okay?!" He whimpered, holding his hands up placatively when Ray went to throttle him again, and something in that babyish voice made the couple feel like he was telling the truth. "I've just been making masks...and baking bread!"

"Is that a diaper? Ew!" The heroine wrinkled her nose as she edged into the camera's view, thinking she'd rather keel over from the gas than walk around with one of those on her face.

"Miss Danger?" Todd gasped in surprise, not expecting her to stroll around the house while Captain Man was working. He knew of their little domestic arrangement like everyone else did. Still, he didn't want to see into their love nest, finding it weird to think that his ex-playboy nemesis was a family man.

"Nice sweater..."

"Uh..." She didn't know how to respond, glancing down at her comfy-casual outfit before weakly smiling at the webcam. That mask was painfully evident on her face, sticking to her skin like slime, but she was out of uniform, something Ray knew too well - and he didn't like prying eyes.

"Hey! Why don't you stop looking at my wife? Okay, and let's take a whiff of your TwitFlash history!" The hero growled as he angrily tapped on his PearPhone while (y/n) slunk away again.

"Four days ago, you wrote, Ew. Anyone else smell that? Apricot emoji. Arrow. Dark cloud. Dark cloud. Skull and cross bones. Hashtag crime life. Hashtag criminals be like. Hashtag YOLO."

"Okay, the YOLO was a little much, but--" The Toddler sighed and tried to defend himself, seeing how his childish post made him look so guilty, but Captain Man wasn't having any of it.

"Your message is the first time anyone mentioned smelling the gas. And according to Swellview Criminal Code Section Four-Oh-Eight-Six-Nine-Seven-Dash-Two, Paragraph B, Subsection One...whoever smelt it, dealt it."

"It wasn't me!" The villain cried when all the legal mumbo-jumbo was forced down his throat, angrily pointing his finger at the man, who'd clearly done his research into the city's whackiest laws.

Only his proclamation of innocence earned him another sucker punch from Captain Man, who, as always, thought he could punch his way through his problems. It hurt so bad, making the man-baby whine and sob his little black heart out, but when Ray went to pummel him again, he wisely chose to talk.

"It wasn't me! I didn't smell it first!" He exclaimed, enough to make the man's flying fist recoil.

"But! I think I know who did..."

"Which is why I, Doctor Horatio T. Minyak," oh, hell, no--not that guy, "have been hoarding toilet paper, sourdough starter, and hair care products!"

Sitting in the dingy kitchen of his secret evil hideout, Doctor Minyak had set up a vlogging station, much like The Toddler. Whilst he wasn't into quarantine lifehacks, he knew a business opportunity when he saw one. He bought up every high-demand product on the market so he could sell it at extortionate prices.

He had to be ruthless - this was business. And whilst it sucked to have to work out of his own home, he had no other choice, especially since he didn't have any wiggle room to cause trouble for the city's greatest crime fighters.

"Now, if you should like to purchase any of these products at an unreasonably high price, you can contact me at--"

Ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Ring.

Doctor Minyak didn't have friends. He barely had acquaintances and work colleagues. So, when his computer began to chime from an incoming video call, he was surprised and irritated, hating when halfwits and the like interrupted his work.

All he wanted was a pretty penny, so he didn't see the harm in quickly answering the call, telling whoever to piss off, and returning to work. That was his first mistake.

"Toddler! Captain Man!" He growled when the men's faces flashed on his screen. It was one thing to hear from a fellow villain, but he never expected Captain Man to interfere via the internet; even with the quarantine, the damned hero didn't know when to give up, which only irritated the doctor further.

"How dare you interru--ow!" But Ray didn't take any crap. Like he'd done with The Toddler, who sat there and sighed sympathetically for his friend, he thrust his fist through the screen, punching Minyak in his stupid, hoity-toity face.

The criminal groaned loudly to Todd's babyish laugh, clutching his sore nose as he looked at the hero with a what-the-fuck? expression, wondering if the spandex-wearing moron had finally lost it.

"Admit it! You leaked gas from the Bhutt Factory!" Captain Man sneered, going all hot and authoritative again, much to his wife's delight.

"I did no such thing!" Minyak protested, returning the dark stare at such an accusation. The Toddler quickly jumped to his defence - although there was little honour amongst thieves. He just liked the drama.

"Tell him what you told me."

"Minyak," Todd started in his whiny voice, "four days ago, you sent me a text that said...Toddler, it smells like your diaper blew a big, brown cloud all over Swellview!"

"So what if I did?" The doctor huffed, his mood nosediving when his fellow villain spilt his guts--just because that moronic hero threatened him.

"So, according to the Swellview Criminal Code Section Four-Oh-Eight-Six-Nine-Seven-Dash-Two, Paragraph B, Subsection One, whoever smelt it dealt it!"

"That's true, Captain Man, but Paragraph D, Subsection Two, Footnote X do that same criminal code states...whoever did the rhyme, did the crime!" It was Minyak's time to turn the tables, making the hero's cheeks pinken at the insinuation. There was no comeback for that, and Ray sat there speechless when they poked fun at him, giggling like a pair of hyenas.

He could deny it until he was blue in the face--so could Minyak, bickering to the soundtrack of The Toddler's taunting and cackling, but they wouldn't stop. (y/n) wandered back over to the computer, a frown etched into her face because she didn't like how they flustered her doofus, who grew angrier with each passing second and mocking comment.

"You two are so immature. It's unreal," she told them dryly, standing behind her husband and placing her hand on his shoulder, well aware that they'd be able to see her rings. If anything, she was proud to Shem them off, and her touch brought comfort to Ray, even if he didn't like how those assholes leered.

"Ah, I thought you'd show up at some point." Doctor Minyak chuckled, amused to see the heroine in her domestic habitat, jumping to the moron's defence like usual. "Where Captain Man goes, Miss Danger follows. Although I have to say, you haven't exactly dressed for the occasion..."

"Okay, you just made this personal!" The hero especially didn't like how Minyak poked fun at his sweet girl, who simply scoffed and didn't take it to heart.

She didn't care, folding her arms in her comfy sweater, but Ray wasn't having it, punching the doctor again just because he pissed him off. Even better, he gave The Toddler one for good measure, leaving a beautiful smile on his girl's face when they doubled over and groaned.

Another double-fisted blow sent the message home, leaving them weak and open for him to virtually grab them by their collars and rip them from their seats. The villains fell to the floor with pained groans, and (y/n) had to admit, it was the hottest thing she had seen him do in a while.

That would teach them to make fun of her - his sweet, innocent wife.

"I love you so much, doofus..." She sighed, bending down and wrapping her arms around his neck as he clicked off the video, and she smooched his cheeks loudly. He could practically feel the joy radiating from her soft body, chuckling at how she trailed her lips down his neck, which was usually his move.

"What's got you all smiley?" Ray asked, not that he was complaining. He reached back to press her face further into his jaw, finding the ticklish sensation strangely pleasant.

"Nothing much..." (y/n) sighed, deeply inhaling the cologne dabbed on his neck in utter contentment. "I'm just married to the best guy in the world."

"Think I'm the lucky one, darlin'." He had a list as long as his arm about how he could argue otherwise, but he couldn't deny how his tummy fluttered at her candidness. Still, the man would never miss a chance to compliment her, slumping back in his chair and staring up at her with sparkling eyes.

"You have any idea how gorgeous you are?"

"You've mentioned it..." she giggled, lightly kissing his lips before her mind drifted to business. "But, more importantly, what are you gonna do now? The Toddler and Minyak have nothing."

"Hmmm...good question. It felt good punchin' 'em, but I've got nothing," Ray replied pensively, stroking his chin like he had a great philosopher's beard as he wondered what his next move was. The thing was, though, he wasn't entirely inspired after dealing with those assholes, and he could think of at least another two dozen villains to interrogate. And he wasn't known for his patience.

"Onto the next criminal then?" (y/n) suggested, knowing how tenacious he could be, but her doofus surprised her--or not really. She understood he couldn't see something out unless it really interested him.

"...This is taking too long."

"I did warn you." The woman giggled, seeing his concentration momentarily slip when he focused on taking her wrist and kissing up her forearm. She'd wondered how long it would take, but an hour had to be a new record, making Ray sit back in his chair and huff in frustration.

"Yeah, but..." He sighed, thinking a little longer, kissing her wedding ring before speaking again. "I need more people on this..."

"Doofus, don't say--" Oh, (y/n) knew what that meant, and she didn't like it. Rather, she could see a storm brewing because he couldn't ask many people about this, which meant...

"I'm gonna text the kids." He didn't even flinch, thinking nothing of it, even as his beloved wife groaned and wiped the heels of her palms down her face in exasperation.

Reaching for his phone, Ray quickly tapped on his messages. He selected Mika, knowing the other three would be unreasonably thorny if he asked for a small favour, only to have the device snatched from his fingers before he could give her any orders.

"Ray, no," (y/n) said firmly, confiscating his phone before he could disturb the kids while they got well-deserved rest and relaxation. They'd worked so hard before the quarantine, and she knew they wouldn't be happy about being disturbed, but the hero didn't take no for an answer.

"Ray, yes." He pouted, quickly taking his phone back, playfully fighting off his wife when she tried to grab it. Still, with one beefy arm fending her off, he could easily type a quick message with the other, telling Mika to suit up with the others and help with the interrogations. And he didn't care if she huffed and puffed.

"Raymond... Leave them be. They're enjoying their time at home." His pretty girl sighed, trying to make him see sense, only for Ray to stand up with a gentle smile as he pulled her into a gentle hug--whether (y/n) wanted one or not.

"Sweet girl, this is hero work. It's what they signed up for. I'm texting Mika."

"They're not gonna be happy," she warned him, voice muffled as he pressed her face into his pec. The arms around her waist were comforting, but she still felt uneasy, snuggling more into his chest to lengthen the moment - even for a little bit.

"Eh... It's a good experience for them, and I want to keep my evening free." Ray smirked, and he could sense the second she tensed in his arms, knowing what that meant. This wasn't about professional satisfaction or a valuable learning experience; he just wanted a booty call and intended to keep it.

"...Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you, doofus," she admitted defeat, although she made a mental note to keep an eye on him. Whilst she felt for the kids, if she was frank, she wanted tonight too. Quarantine wasn't entirely fun for her either.

Ray happily sent the text with a gleeful smile when she relented, wrapping his arms around her in a swift hug before he jumped back to work. Now that Mika had the text, and judging by the fact it had the double-tick to say it was read, he could sit and wait for them to add them to a video call.

And luckily, the kids - and Schwoz - just happened to be online, albeit not in the best of moods.

"Okay, I don't know if you guys have heard any rumours or anything, but that gas out there is not my brand, okay?" Ray rambled to the kids the second he connected to their existing call.

They'd done as he'd asked, transforming into shabby, makeshift uniforms since they had to deal with the unofficial gum Schwoz mailed them. Thanks to the snappy demand, they weren't in the best of moods, slumping into their chairs and sighing when the hero showed his face, but as he tried to excuse the worries Doctor Minyak and The Toddler put in his head.

But, mid-rant, Ray noticed something he didn't expect to see. The kids hadn't been idle; they'd done their own research and interrogations, forcing the one and only Frankini to video call them, and he'd told them something quite interesting.

They'd tell Ray, of course, but first, that doofus needed to shut up.

"Frankini did it," Chapa told him bluntly, and she wished she had a phone to capture the moment Ray's expression fell. He looked baffled, and even (y/n) poked her head into the frame with raised eyebrows.

Neither of them expected that, glancing at each other awkwardly because they'd placed the glitzy crook far down their list of suspects. Still, Ray played it off well, turning his shocked look into a glare as he bared his teeth at a highly amused Frankini - he loved tricking the hero and his precious little wife.

"Just as I always suspected!"

"Doofus, you never once said anything about--" (y/n) giggled, perching herself on his knee and brushing a strand of hair away from his eyes. He was so silly and dumb, getting all grumpy since he'd gotten it wrong--not that he'd ever admit it.

"The only question, sweet girl, is why?" He asked pensively, stroking his chin and peering into the camera with suspicious eyes. Yet, Frankini giggled and squirmed in his seat, clearly enjoying himself.

"Because he wants us to be in a heartfelt, celebrity, uplifting song montage with him," Miles explained, which the couple could understand. They didn't like pandering to a criminal, but Frankini wanted to inspire a nation apparently...with probably some mischief alongside.

"Well, that does make sense."

"Does it, though?" Mika asked dryly. She wasn't thrilled with the idea, and Frankini was the craziest of the crazies - he couldn't be trusted.

They debated it over and over again, arguing back and forth why they should or shouldn't do the song. Frankini said he'd help the kids with their little Clik-Clok dance thing and admitted to being the gas leaker - what more could they want? The mystery was sold, and technically, they had their end of the bargain to uphold, even though (y/n) warned the kids about opening themselves up to unfair deals.

The heroine hated being forced to collaborate with a criminal, not to mention one who'd forced her to sing against her will in the past. Ray said it would be okay, but that came from a man who could sing.

But (y/n)? She was terrified, sitting down to record the video via video call with her friends at the next sunrise - bright and early for mid-morning torture. But, if it got Miles, Mika, Chapa, Bose, and Schwoz their Clikky-Clokky dance thing, maybe she could hit a few notes.

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." The heroine muttered the following day as she pulled a chair up to Ray's at the desk, a mug of steaming coffee big enough for the both of them in her hand. He'd asked for it, but she'd inevitably pilfer a few sips, so she added extra, not that Ray would mind.

He smiled at her gently as she shuffled close, taking her hand in his since he could practically feel the nerves radiating off her. This wasn't her scene, and that bastard Frankini was asking a lot of her - he regretted that most of all. But if he did it, she promised to stand with him and sing, even if it meant dealing with that walking glitterball of a man.

"Oh, relax, Little Miss Moody Pants," Frankini told her in a gratingly cheery voice seven AM, and it took most of (y/n)'s energy to muster a smile for him. It was more of a snarl, taking a large gulp of coffee when he pushed her buttons and still dared to bat his eyelashes at her.

"Just have some fun and sing with me, Frankini!"

"Oh, do be quiet, you overbrushed poodle." Her voice was cold and dull as she rested her head on her doofus' shoulder, finding the villain's glitzy outfit offensive and annoying at such an early hour. The sequins seemed to glint and sparkle in her eyes even through his computer screen, and she didn't have it in her to be friendly.

"Hey!"

"Nice one, sweet girl..." Ray chuckled when Frankini protested, looking utterly offended at her interest, but his throaty, deep tone was welcome.

It felt like a warm hug, especially when a strong arm curled around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his side as the children did their little rituals before they started recording. The man just hoped they remembered what he was doing for them, sparing no sympathy when he kissed his beloved wife like no one was watching - he needed her honey in the morning to wake him up.

"Just sing the song!" The villain snapped when Miss Danger sighed and held the hero's cheek, keeping him in her embrace, much to his disgust. God, was it him or had they gotten worse since that secret marriage he'd heard about?

"Captain Man...you start."

And with that, he pressed play on whatever he used to capture the vocals, gentle music filling the rooms across Swellview. Of course, they'd practised and performed beforehand under his artistic eye, which was enough to tell (y/n) that her voice was shaky, she forgot the words, and she'd be a laughing stock, and the world would mock her.

But she had no choice but to sit there and wait as the intro played through their ancient speakers--only one of which worked properly. It crackled, fizzed, and screeched, yet Ray didn't flinch, staring into the camera with a burning smoulder since the audience was his adoring fans.

He couldn't disappoint them.

"Sometimes, you just feel...stuck," he crooned, keeping his voice soft and smooth as he squeezed his wife's hand under the table. He'd started so they'd finish, and there was no turning back.

"You push and push, but you're still out of luck..." (y/n) carried on, keeping it low and slow to try and maintain her shakiness. Surprisingly, she held it together, using the warmth from Ray's huge hand around hers as a source of strength and comfort. He always made her feel better, even if the song was cheesy and all kinds of Frankini-crazy.

"This gas is strong, but hold on and find the power within!" Mika was practically angelic, staring into the screen with her kind, loving smile, which would undoubtedly help those feeling lonely and sad at home.

"This gas is violent--"

"It's deadly, and it's silent!" Chapa and Miles duetted, but the young, moody girl surprised everyone.

If Mika was angelic, she was on another plain, her soft, soprano voice reaching above and beyond as Frankini sat back and sighed. He never expected to find such good singers in Danger Force, and he wondered how such a scary girl could be so sonorous.

"But together, I know we'll squeak out a win..." Ray sang as Frankini performed a twirling pirouette. His gorgeous baritone made his wife break out in enamoured smiles because everything about him was so hot.

She'd never say it to his face since his ego was already the size of a small house, but everything about him seemed near-perfect, from those blue, blue eyes to those hard abs and...other things.

""This gas will pass before we know it, so let's have a blast and dance till it's gone!" The villain yelled in his crystal-clear tone, reminding everyone why he was the expert at this.

He lived for theatre production, and it showed in the lively beat-drop, which he produced himself--and the...questionable lyrics. That was his idea of a hilarious joke, but the others let it slide, dancing in the background with Bodhi for appearance's sake.

"Tomorrow, this gas can be a memory if you join me now in song! This gas will pass..."

"I know this whole thing stinks."

"Aye, it stinks!" Schwoz agreed with Ray in his own little way. He wasn't naturally gifted in vocals, save in his home country, but the effort was there. And he gained bonus points for his cute little puppy...

"When you're trapped inside, your happiness sinks!" Bose sang, signing each syllable since he'd miraculously become fluent in one afternoon - another random skill for his repertoire.

"This gas is bad, the worst we've had, but soon, the air will be clear..." Mika and Chapa were stunning together, almost bringing a tear to the eye as their voices merged into a symphony - at least they weren't afraid to sing on camera.

"Whoever dealt it made sure we all felt it..." The boys sang next, a little flatter than the girls had, but they were clearly enjoying themselves, acting all dramatic with finger-points and spinning dance moves as (y/n) cleared her voice.

She had to be brave, even if she didn't feel like it, and it was only one line in her quiet little voice, although the funny words made her want to laugh. The innuendos were so stupid, but perhaps everyone needed a joke to brighten the doom and gloom of the quarantine.

"So let it out for all the world to hear!"

This gas will pass before we know it, so let's have a blast and dance till it's gone!" This time, Frankini had the others join in for the chorus, creating a harmonic blend of voices as everyone gave it their all. "Tomorrow, this gas can be a memory if you join me now in song!"

It was everything he hoped it would be and more, even if he could see Captain Man and Miss Danger messing around in the corner of his screen, kissing between lines.

"This gas will pass..." For those brave enough, like Ray and Mika, this was the time for all those soft and high notes, taking over from the villain and his flair for opening a blue hand-held fan. They sang as high as they could, impressing (y/n) as the doofus beside her threw his head back and roared.

"This gas will pass before we know it, so let's have a blast and dance till it's gone!" Frankini sang with renewed effort as they approached the final rendition. He played it up for the camera with his posing and fluttering eyelashes.

Still, he performed a good show, dancing with everyone else as they enjoyed the last few seconds. Of course, he was still one of the most irritating people (y/n) had ever met, but she'd silently admit that this had been fun. Sort of.

"Tomorrow, this gas can be a memory if you join me now in song! This gas will pass before we know it!--" The villain held his note for a mini-dance break, allowing Ray and (y/n) to play the drums on the desk while Chapa played the air guitar. The boys provided backup vocals as Schwoz tootled to his own little jig before they wound up to the big, snappy finish.

"This gas will pass!" The song finished with them all pointing at the camera, swapping silly grins and words of congratulations. The adrenaline rush was off the charts, leaving them warm-faced and smiling from ear to ear, but despite the happy ending, Ray was still all business.

He turned to Frankini with a glare, his breathing a little ragged from those last few lines, but it also could've been the kissing. He'd kissed his sweet girl a lot after the song, whispering how well she'd done, how beautiful she'd sounded, how hot she looked in that mini skirt...

"All right..." he cleared his throat, ripping his gaze from her adorable smile since he had to look stern--he needed to wipe that lovesick expression off first. "Now, it's time for Frankini to meet me and Miss Danger at the Bhutt Factory and clench off that gas leak."

"Doofus, do you hear what you're saying?" (y/n) said, giggling at his innuendo and entendre, but she was the only one. Maybe she was childish, snuggling into her husband without a care for the grimaces or stares thrown their way, but come on... it had to be on purpose.

"Si, si, si..." Frankini replied, and it looked like he'd actually honour his word. The criminal gravely nodded at the couple, even if he acted stupid because he didn't want the hero coming after him. He loved playing with the heroine like his own little china doll.

"Ciao!" He waved goodbye to Danger Force with them, flashing them a final cheeky smirk since he'd back before long, and probably with another dastardly plan up his glittery sleeve.

So, as Captain Man and Miss Danger went out to work, the kids stayed home and danced to their little songs like every other kid their age. (y/n) didn't understand Clik-Moks and trends, watching those three-second clips with a deep frown because it seemed so stupid.

But it was nice to know that her babies were enjoying themselves, even if it was only a little while for them. It felt like forever for her, waiting for them to return to the Nest when the gas passed, and (y/n) knew one thing as she marked down the days until quarantine ended.

When she saw her little family together again, she'd give them the biggest, warmest welcome-home hug they'd ever had.

0 notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 5: Mime Games (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

bonjour ma peeps. je suis ruth und je ne parle le french. spanish is more my bag. mi bag. enjoy ray as he slowly descends into madness because he wants a baby and his wife sys no. sucks to be him :)

~ Swellview Academy for the Gifted~

"Come on! Let's go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go!" Ray bellowed as he impatiently hovered by SWAG's front door.

Glancing at his gadget-filled watch, he breathed a frustrated sigh, wondering what was taking his protégés so long to pack. They were going on a trip, not for fun, but for a mission - three days max, so he didn't know what the hold-up was. After all, it was only Paris - he didn't see the big deal.

For some, it was a big deal, the getaway of a lifetime to the city of love, famed for its cafés, architecture, and tourist attractions. (y/n) was one of them, having been unable to sit still all week ever since they received confirmation that Captain Man and Co were needed overseas. Her childhood dream was to take her lover and experience all those cheesy, cliche things she saw in her rom-coms.

It was enough to make her bounce excitedly on the spot, hugging Ray's beefy arm close to her chest, where her heart thundered from the adrenaline. Their bags were packed: a manly, dark camo sports bag for him and an overly girly, glitzy purple suitcase for her, and of course, her husband insisted on carrying both. His sweet girl packed enough for three weeks, let alone three days, but he indulged her.

After all, only a genuinely remarkable lover would whisk their wife away to the most romantic city on Earth, even if it involved a little crimefighting.

Well, that is if the children didn't fuck things over for him.

"We're s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'going!" Mika replied sharply, snapping her hard plastic case shut and haphazardly zipping it up. Unlike some, she and her friends had only learned about the little detour half an hour ago; trust Ray to tell them they were going halfway around the world when no one had anything decent to wear, toiletries, or parental consent.

"Our Goober Lux is three minutes away, and I'm not going to lose my five-star rating for any of you!" The man growled, anxiously glancing at his phone to see the taxi approaching. He wanted to be the perfect customer, ready and waiting by the door with his sweet girl's hand in his, looking ever so handsome.

His hair was so floppy, that jacket was deliciously tight, and the gleaming, golden band on his left hand made the heroine swoon as she squished his bicep more. Maybe it was the thrill, the whiff of adventure, or maybe Paris was just that enticing, but she was ridiculously giddy, too happy to scold the children about dragging their feet.

"You could help us...(y/n/n)?"

"Well, I--"

"She's with me, and I'm helping by yelling..." Ray told Mika sharply when she looked at the starry-eyed woman for help, refusing to let his wife go merely because they weren't prepared. He'd already told her twice, but she looked gorgeous in that pretty little dress--so cute he could burst, but he concentrated on yelling instead. The sooner they moved, the sooner he could show her the fancy-schmancy suite he'd booked at the hotel.

"Let's go! Let's go!"

"Relax, boss. I'm good to go," Miles called out smoothly, looking like the picture of relaxation as he reclined in his chair, feet propped up on his desk with a magazine in hand. Everything around him was chaotic, yet the boy didn't look phased, flicking through the pages while his sister ran around like a mad bull.

"Uh, Miles. We're going to Paris. Aren't you gonna pack anything?" (y/n) asked, wandering over to the kid's side with her doofus in tow. Maybe it was just her - she was a stickler when it came to luggage - but it was a wonder how calm and collected he was, barely sparing them a glance as he turned another page.

"Whatever I need, the universe will provide," he replied with his usual zen. He was so confident in the mystic power that he almost looked smug. For some reason, coincidences fell around him like dominoes, always ensuring his life ran smoothly with no bumps or issues in the road.

But, of course, there were no such things as coincidences - cue Mika walking into the room from the closet, dragging double her weight in suitcases while Miles sat idly by. She always did this, looking out for her brother, even when her care bordered on neglect; after all, he was old enough to look after himself.

"Okay, Miles. I packed all your stuff. Again."

"Told 'ya!" The boy smirked at his teachers before licking his forefinger and thumb to grasp another page, looking arrogant since all the hard work was done for him.

"Mika, honey..." (y/n) sighed, swallowing the urge to give the conceited kid an earful about respect and good manners. Instead, she turned to the sweating, out-of-breath girl, who smiled sweetly after placing the heavy bags down for a breather. It was like she didn't see anything wrong with her kindness; she was too innocent and thoughtful to see how Miles took advantage of her generosity. But she did - (y/n) knew the doormat life all too well.

"Why do you do this for him?"

"The only way he'll learn is if I do it over and over again for him until he learns," Mika explained, and for one so bright, she just sounded dumb. Uttterly stupid. Painfully moronic. And it practically had the woman slapping her forehead in exasperation.

"Mika. I have raised four other children and a doofus. Trust me. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind. You are not his maid, nor his mother, so Miles," (y/n) turned and glared at the boy as she growled out his name, "should get off his butt and pack his own suitcase."

"You're scary when you're mothering..." the girl trailed off, staring at her friend in awe and mild reluctance once her furious tirade finished. It even left her brother looking a little sheepish, shrinking into his chair as Ray approached her, looping his arms around her waist to pull her back to his chest.

He, too, was in awe of his wife, finding it ridiculously hot when she took charge and laid down the law with her confidence and authority. He nuzzled her hair and neck as the girl nodded shyly, promising to be more assertive next time.

"I've had a lot of practice. This doofus used to be and still is a handful," (y/n) joked, reaching a hand up to stroke Ray's hair as he smooched her jawline loudly, making her shriek. It was nauseatingly cute, causing Miles to loudly clear his throat as the hero stroked the glittering rings on her finger, wildly in love with his darling girl, to notice the children swanning around the room.

"You still married me, though, Mrs Manchester..."

"Of course, Mr Manchester."

"Get a room, you guys..." the boy said in a sing-song voice, making the woman giggle when her husband sighed and grumbled. He longed for their honeymoon days when he could openly kiss and love her without a pesky child whining about decency and celibacy.

But Miles was right; they had places to go and people to meet, and any kiss would be ten times sweeter in France. So, the man pecked her cheek and released his wife, clearing his throat before heading back to the door, wondering where that Goober was. At least one kid seemed abnormally focused on his task...

"Bose! Bring the stuff outside."

"You got it, boss. Remember, I am Boooooose..." the long-haired boy replied nasally - almost like he had a cold - as he bent over and fiddled with the zipper on his luggage.

It was strange; he'd been hunched over the damn thing for at least fifteen minutes, ignoring anyone and everything around him, even as his friends ran around doing a million tasks at once. He'd never concentrated so hard in the few months he'd been at the fake school, and it was rare for him not to wander around with that dimpled smile like nothing was wrong in the world.

Instead, he did not show his face, looking through thick hair strands with his hood tightly pulled over his head. Very odd, and that voice... It was so familiar, but not like Bose's, prompting Ray and (y/n) to whip around with deep frowns. He knew that adenoidal tone...

'Wait a minute..." Ray growled, sniffing the air like a bloodhound as he stomped to the quiet boy, sensing something was wrong. It was those superhero instincts... "I knew I smelled science in here!"

Everyone gasped as the man yanked the hood from Bose's head, only to find an imposter was among them.

Turning around with a terrified face after being discovered, the team were shocked to see Schwoz staring back at them in a very clever disguise. If he had played his cards a little better, no one would've noticed the deception since his costume was so good, complete with a very Bosey wig, his signature blue hoodie, skinny jeans, and trainers.

The resemblance was uncanny but not good enough.

"Can you smell science?" (y/n) pondered, knowing her doofus hated anyone behaving smarter than him but smelling it? That was a little crazy, even for him.

"Schwoz, why are you dressed like that?" She moved on, standing beside Ray as she looked the small man up and down, wondering what he was thinking.

"'Cause I want to go to Paris! It's the city of love--and I want to fall in love!" Ah, a stowaway. Schwoz gazed at his friends with misty, wonder-filled eyes, looking every bit the hopeless romantic that (y/n) often saw in her sappy movies. Hearing him talk about feelings and emotions was a little out of character. Still, it warmed her heart as she smiled warmly - she was a sucker for romance, no matter who it involved.

"Awwww..."

"That's strangely adorable."

"The heart seeks what it needs!" She cooed with the kids, clutching her chest as her heartstrings sang. They all thought it was adorable, mirroring the genius's dopey, hopeful smile as he imagined meeting a tall, beautiful bombshell along the Seine. Ray, however, wasn't so smitten, scoffing loudly as he sneered at his handyman.

"First of all, we're not going to Paris to fall in love," he said firmly, pointing a stern finger in Schwoz's face. He fell in love in Swellview, not halfway around the world, so anyone else's feelings didn't matter.

"We're going to Paris because the French Captain Man is on strike. Second of all, everybody knows you're going to die alone!"

"Raymond! How could you be so mean?!" (y/n) scolded her doofus as the poor guy gasped loudly, undoubtedly wounded by his boss' harsh words. Ray flinched under her sharp gaze, but she didn't waver, wondering if he'd be so cruel if someone said the same to him; after all, their relationship seemed hopeless initially.

"...Monsieur Man is on strike?" Schwoz asked incredulously, clueless about how the woman's face fell when he brushed over the apparent insult. Maybe it secretly hurt him, but he didn't show it, staring up at Ray, who smooched her cheek as an apology - although she didn't hear him apologise to the little guy.

"Yes!" Instead, he turned on the smartboard, where he had the front page of France's online leading newspaper. All anyone could gossip about was how the city's leading superhero refused to work and Monsieur Man was very popular.

In some ways, he looked very similar to Ray, or at least (y/n) could see the similarities. He was stereotypically handsome with solid and masculine features, thick biceps, and shoulder-length, slicked-back blond hair. His uniform was a little strange, designed like Ray's, with a long-sleeved white undershirt covered by a zip-up tunic in the French flag's colours.

"I am Monsieur Man!"

He spoke with a thick, French accent, flashing his crazy eyes at the camera as he sipped from an espresso cup. Maybe in an alternate universe, she would've dated him. Still, her better instincts said he wasn't the same as her doofus - a little too eccentric and cheesy for her liking.

"They need us to protect France's greatest national treasures until he agrees to go back to work."

"Yeah, how long is that going to take?" Miles asked, praying that the Parisian hero was reasonable and easy to handle. He could lie to his parents a bit - a weekend field trip - but anything longer and they'd get suspicious. Also, who wanted to spend more than a few days in the city of love with Mr and Mrs Manchester?

"Not sure. We'll have to ask when we get there," (y/n) replied, leaning up on her tippy-toes to peck Ray's lips. She could barely wait, sharing a bright smile with him as they imagined everything they'd see and do together, squeezing hands without realising everyone was watching. Mika thought it was adorable, and Schwoz could only hope for a love like theirs.

"I don't speak French..." the boy added, wondering what they'd do once they landed. Ray couldn't work with others, so a translator had to be out of the question. Maybe just some very well-timed hand gestures?

"That's okay. Je parle un peu français. Je l'ai étudié au lycée, donc on devrait survivre," the heroine replied smoothly, her cheeks slightly warm as the children quirked their eyebrows at her - even Miles was mildly impressed, which was no mean feat.

Ray curled his arms around her waist, pulling his beloved wife to his rumbling chest, practically purring as the beautifully romantic words wrapped around her tongue before soothing his ears. She had to be trying to seduce him, right? Looking up at him through those lashes, smiling cutely, kissing his jaw...he had to be the luckiest man in the world.

"That's so hot, darlin'..." he murmured in her ear, hugging her closely as Schwoz sighed dejectedly, longing for love like theirs. They giggled and whispered to each other, cheeks superheating when Ray asked if she could kiss like the French, too, but he pulled away when the kids coughed awkwardly. Right...he forgot they were there.

"Anyway, you don't have to learn French--French is just English but with very ridiculous accents!"

"That's very ridiculously wrong," Mika mumbled, stunned when her so-called teacher put on the worst impression of a Frenchman she'd ever seen. His voice was thick and heavily accented, finished with a little Frenchy laugh, but he couldn't be further from the truth.

"Such a doofus, mon amour..." (y/n) sighed, shaking her head, but she leaned up to kiss him anyway. Love was in the air, making them extra affectionate and cuddly as they buzzed with anticipation for their romantic break, even if it was technically for work.

The hero grinned against her lips until an alarm sounded, painting the walls red momentarily before Chapa and Bose dropped from the ceiling in their chairs. They'd been grabbing some last-minute essentials from upstairs - weapons, gadgets, underwear - bringing everything down in large, heavy-duty, carry-on bags. They were late, making Ray frown as he glanced at his phone again - where was that Goober?

"Sorry, I'm late! I couldn't find my hoodie," Bose said as he placed the bag on his desk, only to look across at Schwoz and see him wearing his looted sweater. No wonder he couldn't find it; it was part of the genius' cunning disguise.

"Hey, I have that same hoodie! And that same hair!"

"You pack all out travelin' weapons?" Ray asked Chapa after wandering over to her side, looking too damn handsome in that jacket. And seeing him in his tight jeans and the black muscle shirt underneath? Nothing made (y/n) drop to her knees quicker...

"Yeah," Chapa confirmed, having run around the Man's Nest like a madwoman when the hero snapped his fingers and demanded she find everything they'd need to protect themselves in a foreign country. And obviously, he couldn't do it, monitoring the taxi and smooching his beloved wife. Critical stuff.

"You got Lil' Sizzler?" He asked, his lips twitching upward when the girl nodded diligently for every weapon he listed. "The Smoke Wagon? The Mean Wheel?"

"Trick question. There is no weapon called The Mean Wheel..."

"Okay, Chapa..." Ray grinned, thoroughly impressed by her attention to detail and in-depth knowledge. She didn't miss a beat, knowing everything she'd left in the pack, which, strangely enough, was identical to the one Bose had packed - the one he rummaged through as they chatted. Unzipping the gym bag, he pulled out a weird-looking device, like a child's windmill, with half a dozen stickers of his grumpy face stuck to each point as it spun around.

"I got a Mean Wheel right here. You show it to the bad guy, and when he all the mean faces on it, he's like, put that away! It's so mean!" Oh, sweet boy. He meant well, but God, he was simple.

"Oh, Bosey..." (y/n) shook her head with a sigh as Ray flashed the kid a wobbly smile, swapping a look with his sweet girl.

"Lemme holla at you for a second," Miles murmured to his fellow sidekick, placing a warm, kind hand on Bose's shoulder as he pulled him aside for a quick chat, leaving the happy couple with Chapa. Someone needed to tell him why that windmill thing wasn't appropriate, and the boys were particularly close, even if Miles' patience only stretched so far.

"So, I was thinking...when we're in Paris, we have to kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower!" (y/n) mentioned to her doofus as the boys talked a few paces away. She turned in his arms, grinning at him as Ray hummed and kissed her forehead, knowing he'd do anything she asked. He didn't mind what they did, willing to show her the entire city if she wanted, but he couldn't help but tease her a little.

"Can't we kiss anywhere else?" He smirked, stroking her curves as Chapa gagged at his side. God, every minute of every damn day...they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

"Well, duh, you big doof! But it's a tradition! All couples kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower."

"Well, I can arrange that..." the man growled, leaning down to kiss his wife as she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and humming appreciatively.

As they smooched, utterly entranced by the nerves, excitement, and love in the air, the girl by their side groaned and shook her head. She always wore a frown, but this was something else - deep, stern, and severe, etched into her baby-like features the longer they locked lips.

"No fair! So, you guys get to go off doing all your kissy-kissy stuff while we do all the work!" She complained, forcing the couple to break apart as Ray scowled, ignoring how Bose skipped upstairs to look for something. Honestly, he could never love her properly with these little shits around...

"Hey! Can't a man take his incredibly hot wife on a romantic trip?" He asked, squeezing (y/n) 's hips as she rolled her eyes and lovingly kissed his cheek, running her wedding rings down his freshly shaven face. Before she could coo about how unbelievably handsome he was or Chapa could argue otherwise, Mika piped up, looking perturbed.

"Hey, Ray?" She called out, standing and looking through the window while everyone nattered. She'd watched a large, mini-van-type vehicle pulled up outside the school, loitering by the curb as the driver glowered at the front door. He didn't look happy - impatient like every taxi driver - making her gulp as she turned toward the hero.

"There's a Goober LUX SUV outside."

"Oh, my stars! MY stars!" The man gasped, yanking his PearPhone from his pocket and baulking when he noticed the app said his car was here - and his rating was going down. He must've missed the notification, too distracted by his wife's sweet lips or the dumb kid's stupidity.

"What, doofus?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow, quickly following her lover as he dashed around the room in panic.

"I missed the alert, darlin'! Now, my five-star rating is going down! C'mon, C'mon, C'mon, C'mon! S'go, S'go, S'go!" He urged them all, clapping his hands as everyone jumped into action.

The kids grabbed a bag, swiftly wheeling the suitcases toward the door, including Bose, who lowered his face to the floor. He hurried toward the door without saying a word, frantic into the Goober without glancing at his friends, especially the happy couple. (y/n) grabbed her case, too, nudging Ray's until he raced over to take both, not wanting to see her lift a finger.

"Chapa!"

"What?--" Ray tossed a heavy bag toward the girl before shoving a suitcase toward her knees like a bowling ball. The force nearly toppled her over, but he didn't care, flashing his beloved wife a brilliant smile before holding his hand out for her to take. He practically dragged her to the car, but (y/n) didn't mind, tottering along with a giddy giggle.

This was the beginning of her romantic break, and no one would ruin it.

Everyone was so eager and rushed that no one noticed how Bose expertly programmed the Man's Nest security programme, which involved inputting a code far beyond his technical capabilities. The kid could barely count to ten, yet he punched in the string of numbers without issue, activating dozens of skin-searing lasers that crisscrossed every room should any burglar dare to break in.

With that, he scuttled out of the door with his case, closing and bolting the door behind him, dashing toward the car with a mischievous grin. No one would ever know...the genuine Bose would be safe and snug in the Nest, and Schwoz would find the woman of his dreams.

*bonjour mis amis. je have le smutti smut - oui-oui. if les enfants amongst us could shut their eyes for the next 5k, that would be lovely, and everyone avert your screens from your mothers.

(Raymond secretly wants a baby zut alors!)

SKIP IF YOU DON'T FANCY IT! ONWARDS!*

"Holy shit, doofus. This place is insane..."

"Anything for my best girl..." The hero grinned at his wife as she marvelled at their hotel room. She chucked her jacket over a regal chair draped in gold silk with a polished mahogany frame, offering both opulence and comfort. Its gracefully curved legs and delicate embellishments made it a statement piece of luxury. Yet, it was the bed she focused on.

In the grandeur of the bedroom, the luxurious mattress commanded attention with soft sheets and plush, tufted velvet cushions. Crafted from polished mahogany, too, the bedframe boasted ornate carvings, while a canopy of sheer curtains added a romantic touch to the opulent retreat, inviting anyone who entered to indulge in a haven of rest and relaxation. She fell backwards onto it, testing the plushness and sighing, knowing this was the epitome of comfort as her husband laughed.

Paris was a bit of her. The culture was clever, all elegance and the finer things in life as the city lights twinkled in the darkness. They'd landed quite late - past nine - and headed straight for the hotel, which was far too expensive and fancy for four tweens, but Ray paid for double twin rooms. He had to if he wanted to wine and dine his sweet girl, booking them into an executive suite facing the Champs de Mars.

It was one of the best rooms available--anything to see her smile. Everything had a lovely, warm glow from the furniture's pastel hues. The wallpaper was French - thick, glittery, and doubtlessly expensive with its gold, elaborate design. The carpet was plush, creamy, and woollen, caressing her feet as she stood up and padded across the room, dodging the seventeenth-century sideboards and coffee table.

"Oh, Raymond..." (y/n) breathed as she pulled one of the chintz drapes back from the window and peered at the outside world.

An iconic structure illuminated the city skyline with a golden glow, its intricate lattice of lights shimmering against the dark canvas of the night sky. The city below was a tapestry of twinkling lights. The Eiffel Tower stood as a timeless sentinel as the couple gazed out, casting a romantic spell over the heroine.

She didn't want to imagine how much he'd paid for the view, glancing back over her shoulder as Ray pressed his front to her back, enjoying it with her. His hands held her hips as he rested his chin on her shoulder, silently smirking to himself for a job well done at her awed expression. He took it as a sign he'd chosen well, feeling his heart sing when she took in every aspect, not wanting to lose a moment.

"Do you like it?" He whispered, kissing her neck as she nodded slowly, barely aware of reality as the lights twinkled on The Eiffel Tower. It was breathtakingly beautiful, although he was looking at someone else.

"Of course, doof! I've always dreamed of seeing The Eiffel Tower..." (y/n) sighed dreamily, leaning her forehead on the cool glass as her hand laid over the one on her hip. "Thank you..."

"I promised I'd make all your dreams come true when I married you, pretty girl."

"You didn't have to book us into the fanciest hotel in town, though..." She giggled, squirming at the ticklish sensation of his lips on her skin, but she couldn't be happier. His wedding band felt hot, hard, and heavy on her waist, slightly digging into her as he kept rubbing around his favourite spots...hips, tummy, and ass, up her ribcage until he nearly brushed under her breasts.

"Bose was so shocked he couldn't say a word, poor kid..."

"Go big or go home, darlin'. And besides, I have a dream too..." Ray mumbled, losing himself in his wife's soft body and floral-scented hair.

The mention of that kid barely passed his mind, forgetting how uncharacteristically quiet and shy the boy was when they checked in. He barely said goodnight, not that the hero cared. He couldn't drag his wife into their bedroom quick enough, eager to have her all to himself in the lap of luxury because they didn't get to do this very often. Not with those little demons knocking on the door every day.

"Really?" (y/n) asked quietly, feeling a new heat pulsing through her veins from his wandering fingertips. It didn't help how he'd stripped off his red jacket, revealing the deliciously tight black muscle shirt underneath. He looked so fucking hot, standing there in all black with his biceps bulging every time he moved his arms.

Every inch of him was pressed against her, hands glued to her waist, and there was nowhere to go but the cityscape before her.

"Oh, yeah..." he replied, lightly nibbling a spot just below her ear before bringing his lips back up, whispering in a sultry, throaty voice.

"I've always wanted to say I fucked my wife in Paris."

"Raymond!" She gasped, half-scandalised, half-pulsating with heat. She sounded shocked, but it was a little late for that at this point. She was used to his antics, familiar with how he said it how it was, revelling in his blatant and unapologetic love and lust for her. So used to it, in fact, that the brief feeling - which could've been shock - passed all too quickly, painting a coquettish grin on her face in its wake.

She turned her head to glance at him over her shoulder, giggling when his nose nuzzled into her cheek, mirroring her heated expression. His lips brushed her skin, holding her waist a little tighter as he pulled her ass back into his body. He was obvious and unashamed in every way, rolling his pelvis into her, nipping her jaw a little.

"What? Don't you want me to ravish you, sweet girl? This is the City of Love, after all," Ray teased, a rumble in his voice when she rocked her hips with his, wiggling her butt as she pushed against the glass. A little minx in his mitts, just as unabashed as he was as she tilted her chin up, encouraging the marks he sucked into her skin.

There wasn't a hint of rejection. Not even a suggestion that she didn't want him as much as he wanted her. If anything, she slumped against the pane more, arching her spine while his fingers danced with the button on her jeans. But indeed, giving in from the off wasn't as fun.

"The kids are next door..." A pathetic excuse - murmured through lips curled upwards, making the man snarl.

Frankly, he didn't give a shit. He had the girl of his dreams in his embrace, lovingly trapped with nowhere to go--his wife, hot, ready, aching to take his cock. He wouldn't stop for anyone, and certainly, not four little Satan-spawns, who made it their mission in life to steal him away in the morning, interrupting every clinch with their problems, groaning at every stolen kiss.

It was time to test if his money was well-spent, to see if this hotel really was le triomphe de Paris--if anyone could push the soundproofing to its limits, it was them.

"They won't hear a thing," he replied curtly, running his middle finger around the jean button before expertly popping it open with his forefinger and thumb. His sweet, precious girl didn't struggle, whining as another hand snuck around her body to grasp and fondle her tit, stealing that argument from her mind as she bucked into his touch.

"W-we only just got here..." (y/n) gasped as he squeezed whatever he could grab, dipping into her pants only to stop when she went and ruined it. She loved playing games, and Ray loved a challenge.

"No time like the present," he shot back instantly, wasting no time in moving past her panties and into her slick, circling her clit as he gathered her wetness on his fingers.

Humming in the back of his throat, he approved of how her body did all the talking, juddering when the heel of his palm ground against her sensitive flesh. Soft moans fell from her mouth as he hunched over her body, playing it to a tune only he knew when he found her nipple through her shirt and bralette. That pulled a sharper whine from her, and when he bit the side of her neck...the fight left her.

No more teasing. Just a sweet girl and her doofus in the most romantic city on Earth, in a suite designed to give the ultimate satisfaction.

"Take me to the bed, then, doofus..." the heroine begged, nails scraping down the window as he unhurriedly toyed with her.

"No..." Ray replied lowly, smirking evilly since he was enjoying the game she started. She - the girl of his dreams - was putty in his embrace, keening at the slightest touch until she dripped for him, soiling the loose jeans barely clinging to her hips. They shimmied down her body, making them both desperate to rip them off and get on with it, but he had a different idea. When in Paris...

"First, you'll take me right here, right now. Let the whole city see how well you take me."

His mouth was hot against her ear, whispering harshly as she nodded without thought, becoming drunk and pliant on his throaty tone and thick fingers - the way they cupped between her legs to tease at her entrance.

Usually, she'd never be so daring, rationality telling her that anyone - one of the hundreds of tourists exploring the city's nightlife - could look up and see them in a lust-fuelled tangle. Then, the nerves kicked in, whispering about how they'd be the next internet sensation, how the hotel would kick them out, how the world would know what they did. Usually.

To her surprise, (y/n) found herself equally hungry, clammy palms leaving the window and their prints behind to roughly shove her jeans down her hip until they gathered at her knees. Then, it was just a matter of shimmying them down her calves and stepping out of them, kicking them to the side without a spare thought once her lower half was bare and accessible for her doofus.

"Such a needy girl..." he chuckled, although he didn't waste the opportunity. With more space to manoeuvre, his fingers slipped through her slit with ease, smearing her wetness around her clit until she sobbed, nodding weakly.

"Such a good girl for me, though..."

A hand curled around her throat, pulling her forehead away from the cool glass until she tilted the base of her skull on his shoulder. Her torso was a canvas for him to roam, tweaking her breasts while he twisted his neck to kiss her, tongue messily running across her lips to tangle with hers.

"Want my cock, pretty girl?" He asked breathlessly after they pulled apart, and (y/n) didn't miss the angelic note in his tone. She could never understand how he could say such vulgar things so nonchalantly. Still, either way, she loved it, gasping, begging, vigorously jerking her head in a reverent yes.

God, yes, she wanted it. Wanted his cock. The only thing that could soothe the ache in her pussy, five stories up, watching over the city of Paris with him all over her like a rash. It was daring, it was dangerous, it was downright obscene, but yes, she wanted it.

"Your words, darlin'. Say it," Ray cooed, hissing through his teeth when his beloved wife turned to jelly in his arms, merely presenting her ass against the hardened length trapped in those black skinny jeans.

But that was boring--too easy to just fuck her now without making her ravenous. Hearing her desire was hot - hotter than self-gratification could ever be.

"I want it..." (y/n) mumbled quietly, her lips feeling fuzzy and clumsy like she'd spent the afternoon knocking back shot after shot of hard liquor. She'd say anything he wanted to hear if it meant he'd be deep inside her, screwing the lust and longing out, trusting her beloved idiot to take care of everything she couldn't think about.

"Louder. Do you want to be fucked or not?" The hero growled, hands still against her clit and tit when her pitiful attempt barely made it to his ears. Where was the woman who commanded his home like a queen? The one who often straddled his hips and rode him with authority and conviction?

"Yes!" She cried a sudden desperation fuelling her sharp shout when the dear pleasure he gave her was ripped away. Her hips rolled into his fingertips, chasing the hazy delight. Yet he retreated before she could, bringing them to his lips instead so he could suck the honey off them - down to the goddamn knuckle.

"Fuck, please, doofus...fuck me. Give me your cock."

"Right now? Right here? Wanna give all those people a show?" Ray grinned, licking at the delicious sweetness on his lips, eager to have another taste if she'd let him. But first, he needed to be inside her, straining against his jeans when she tucked her nose under his jaw and whimpered.

"Fuck me hard, Captain. Give it to me."

"That's my girl." He moved in an instant, shoving her back against the window with an unusual but not unwelcome roughness so she was braced against the glass again. His foot kicked her ankles apart, spreading her legs a little further, opening his favourite view in the world while he hurried to free himself. God, he never tired of eyeing her so ready, wet, and frantic for him.

Arching her back, (y/n) waited for what she craved, smiling tipsily when she heard the gentle, unmistakable jingle of his belt buckle as Ray shoved his pants and underwear down his thighs - just enough to free himself. He took his rigid length into his hand, pumping the achingly hard flesh with a groan as he guided the tip to her blazing cunt, sliding it through her folds.

A moan left her lips at the sensation, mewling when he rubbed himself against her clit to cover himself in slick.

He couldn't help but grunt at the relief of fisting his cock, staring at her pretty cunt as it fluttered and clenched around nothing in anticipation. It was tempting to keep going, fuck himself to the biggest walking turn-on he'd ever seen. Still, Ray stopped himself, curling his forefinger and thumb around the base of his cock to will himself to calm down.

"Fuckin' take it..." he growled lowly as he guided himself down to her entrance and pushed in, hissing when he felt that all-too-familiar tightness engulf his cock.

Like always, there was some slight resistance, willing to force him back out until he surged forward, parting her walls as (y/n) wailed. The thickness was heavenly, making her jaw go slack and eyes flutter shut when his groin pressed against her ass, fully sheathed inside his sweet girl. She clenched around him, now sucking him in, squeezing him tightly like nothing he'd ever felt before, and it felt like coming home.

"Oh, pretty girl, you feel so good."

"Don't make me wait, Ray..." (y/n) whimpered, planting her feet a little further apart to give him more room, enticing him to start moving. Slick was dripping down her thighs at this point, allowing her lover to inch a little deeper, but he wasn't particularly fussed.

He held her hips flush against his whilst he ran kisses from the edge of her shoulder to her neck, panting harshly and trying to reign in his desire - she'd never believe his lack of control when he had his wife in his arms.

"Keep those pretty eyes on the city. Leave me to my husbandly duties," Ray muttered against her throat with a smirk, gently sucking and nipping on her skin as he began to pull and push into her.

They groaned together at the friction, clawing hands leaving greasy streaks down the window pane as his cock dragged against her walls, providing sweet relief. Starting off slow, the man hummed lowly in his throat as he steadily coated himself in her, rubbing her hips as he tried not to get too excited. He felt so deep inside her from this angle, marvelling at the sight of her bare flesh and the moans she made.

"Fuck--harder--" She pleaded whinily, wiggling her hips to try and force herself back onto him, taking matters into her own hands. The slow, gentle, shallow thrusts were pathetic and maddening, barely enough to satisfy the ache deep within her.

She needed the rough, brutal pace only he could give her, but Ray stopped her movements, holding her waist, when his mouth suddenly appeared next to her ear, hot and harsh.

"I said, look outside. Don't waste this view," he spat, a large hand shooting up to cup his chin and force her to turn to Paris again - like she could concentrate on anything but him. "And I'll look at this one."

With his sweet girl staring blankly at the warm, twinkling lights and traffic-heavy roads, the hero pawed at her body and took a step back to admire her. He'd swear on the book that he'd never seen anything so beautiful in all his born days, trailing his gaze from her naked back and shoulders to the reflection of her breasts in the glass to her hips and the delicious crease between her thighs.

God, he could stare at it all day, licking his lips as he studied every minute detail of how stuffed her cunt looked with his cock crammed inside. She took him so well, stretched and drenched around him, piecing a sinful picture together in his head, which he tucked away for a rainy day.

His hands kneaded her ass, parting her cheeks to see the puckered hole that only he knew - a vulgar secret and privilege he'd never take for granted. Although, perhaps he'd take it later on when he'd fucked her pussy numb.

"Feels so good, Captain," (y/n) gasped, glueing her eyes to the skyline as her husband moved again, finding a rough, sweet pace that had them slumping against the window like rutting animals.

"I know, darlin'. Shit, your pussy feels so good," he groaned from above, belt buckle jingling with every movement of his hips. His skin was blazing, still dressed from head to toe, but it only inspired liquid fire in the heroine's veins; glancing down to her right to see his biceps in that black muscle shirt.

Her pussy fluttered at the image conjured in her head: sweat clinging to his skin, strands of hair falling from his gelled quiff, the trail of hair down his navel peeking out from the hem of that stupidly hot shirt from where he'd shoved his jeans down those toned thighs.

She just knew he looked like sin and heaven and everything she needed for another gush of slick to run down her thighs, making her lover snarl and smirk.

"You fuckin' love this, don't you?" He chuckled, resting his forearm on the window as he snapped his cock into her harder, nosing her cheek as (y/n) struggled to breathe--see--think, let alone speak.

"Wha--?"

"Anyone could look up now and see you, and you don't give a shit. These pretty fuckin' tits are on show for the world, but you're mine, aren't you?" Ray growled, releasing her iron grip on her pelvis to gather a fistful of hair, bringing her head back towards his.

He'd never hurt her; a gentleness in everything he did, even when he slapped and pinched at her stiff nipples - moans falling from her lips with every tweak and tug. Something green, dark, and ugly rose within him when he thought about someone else seeing her like this, bare and beautiful, which should've been for his eyes only, but it merely made him fuck harder.

Anyone would look up and see him fucking her, his touch making her cry in ecstasy, his ring on her finger.

"Yes--sh-shit, yes!" She nodded weakly, a thrum of pleasure passing through her as her doofus wrapped himself around her, her bare back to his fully clothed front.

"You love this--can feel your cunt squeezing me, dirty little girl."

"'M all yours, Ray. Love how you f-fuck me," the woman stuttered, practically drooling down the glass as he continued ploughing her pussy, bringing forth the release she needed so badly. "God, I wanna cum..."

"Yeah? Wanna cream all over my cock?" Ray cooed with an evil, shit-eating grin as he snaked his hand down to her woefully neglected clit. He'd left it alone for far too long, leaving it exposed and throbbing in the cool air until his fingers began their assault.

"Let me cum! P-Please, I need--I need--I--" (y/n) shrieked at the sensation, lurching forward as he rubbed rapid circles against her most sensitive spot, electrifying her every nerve end.

Her tongue felt clumsy and too big for her mouth. It barely wrapped around each word as she gabbled and babbled like an idiot, feeble and pliant like putty for her doofus.

"Fuck, you can't get enough. This little pussy needs filling every fucking day..." Ray muttered to himself, memories of their previous encounters coming to mind as he fluidly pumped into her, never failing in his rhythm.

Before their flight, she'd begged him to fuck her into their mattress, accidentally nudging their suitcase onto the bedroom floor after he accosted her while packing. Maybe that was hours ago, and perhaps they'd had a quick fumble in the plane toilet, but God, if she was insatiable, he was ravenous. And he'd never, ever say no.

"I'll give you what you need, precious girl--I'll always take care of you..." He mumbled, lapping at her neckline as he played her every weak spot,

"So, cum for me...Let go, sweet girl. Let me feel you...""

It ripped through her on his word, pulsating around his cock as Ray groaned, willing himself to thrust through it, crowding her against the window until he had her tits pressed against them. He kept circling her clit, whispering sweet, filthy nothings in her ears as her fingers clenched and cunt twitched. Soak me...get this pussy ready for me...fuck, I know what you need.

"Shit--Ray!" (y/n) screeched, writhing in his arms when he didn't stop. His thrusts were frantic and fast, balls slapping against his ass as Ray groaned.

He couldn't help it; maybe it was the romantic setting, the thrill of exhibitionism, or the temptation of another round on the bed, but something told him to claim her now. He felt wound up like a coil, endlessly needy and in love with his perfect wife as she became even slicker around him.

He'd undoubtedly make it up to her - in no way planning for the night to end so early. This was only the first round, and he planned to stay inside her all night, to make her see stars with orgasm after orgasm until she didn't know what planet she was on, but first, Ray needed his release.

The sensation of his pretty girl coming around him was convincing enough; it had been hours since he came inside her, and something inside him itched.

It was a peculiar feeling, one he'd never felt in his life until he met and wedded her. The thought of painting her insides with his cum made his thoughts go black, replacing them with deep, carnal desires to see her swell and grow, all because of him. He'd make her grow and change, and fuck, the outcome... He knew she said to wait, but fuck if it didn't excite him, just the thought of giving her a ba--

"Gonna fill you up, sweet girl..." the man choked out, stepping closer until (y/n)'s entire body was pressed against the window, rutting against her ass and a sensitive spot inside her in tiny, grinding thrusts. He felt it getting closer, scolding himself for not lasting.

But her pussy was incredible, stealing his resolve as he curled his arms and brought her into a tight embrace.

"Yeah? Gonna cum inside me, doofus?" She whispered, grinning dopily, still riding her high when she turned to look at him over her shoulder. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he seemed effortlessly handsome as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, panting hard.

"Fuck, yeah..." Ray nodded feverishly, eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he kneaded her tits and tummy, not knowing where to touch, "Gonna stuff this pussy and then--shit--I'll--"

"What, doofus? What do you want? I'll do whatever you want..." His wife asked softly, rocking backwards on the balls of her feet to meet his thrusts, adding a little extra bite to the pleasure that coursed through them. The glass had fogged up, and if any sightseer looked up now, they'd doubtlessly know what was going on, but neither cared.

Everything built up slowly and quickly at once, pushing them further together until the lines of reality blurred with delight, making Ray throw his head back and howl. He returned to her clit, keeping his arms tightly around her frame--like he couldn't bear to let her go, not when the end was so near.

"That's my good girl," he growled, smooching her cheek loudly as he raced through a million daydreams - all of them filthy. On the bed, on the dresser, the vanity table, seeing her on her knees, parting her thighs and diving in, bending her over and pounding her needy little hole until the sun came up.

"I'll eat you out after this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let me have a taste. Let you cum on my face, and then, I'll fuck you again and again," the hero rambled on, sinking further and further into his desire, getting off on everything he wanted to do to her.

"Ray..." And it seemed she wanted it, too. She bent her back, arching into his touch as they fucked harder and harder, chasing their highs. The extra stimulation of her clit brought (y/n) to another peak, tilting her head back against his shoulder, and Ray knew she was his to drain for pleasure.

"Not letting you go tonight, darlin'," he promised against her temple, hot breath rolling across her face as his pace became uneven yet snappier. "I want to have you all night."

"Cum for me, then, doof. Fill me up," (y/n) coaxed, finding his hand on her breath and threading her fingers through it, holding it over her heart as she whispered the sweetest words of the night. "I'll let you fuck my ass."

It ended him. A harsh gasp ripped from the man as his hips pressed into hers as far as possible. Warmth spread inside the heroine as he stilled, saying nothing but rushed mumblings of her name and small groans, holding his sweet girl as tight as he could. She came second, milking him in gentle waves, mewling softly as he painted her insides before all of Paris.

Strong arms - those bulking biceps - held her safe, cooling their blazing, sticky bodies against the steamy window, refusing to pull out since his pearly load was so precious. It felt right to keep it inside her - it scratched the itch, and even though he knew they shouldn't, it didn't mean he couldn't dream.

Just knowing she was full to the brim with his cum, knowing one day he'd have the satisfaction of seeing her swell, was enough. For now.

"Oh, fuck, Ray..." (y/n) sighed once they slumped against the window, fingers cupping her breasts and gently squeezing - more of a comfort thing than sensual.

He rested his chin on her shoulder, sighing deeply as she leaned her weight back on him at his gentle touch, humming in mild discontent when she realised he was still wearing clothes. Admittedly, very hot clothes that made him look like some kind of God, but still. She wanted the intimacy of skin-on-skin, but that would be in a bit - once they had a breather.

"Good? He asked, kissing her shoulder, and he felt the weight of her flesh in his hands. He'd never seen someone so beautiful, utterly besotted.

"Good," she confirmed breathlessly with a delicate smile, reaching behind her to bring his face to hers. They shared a brief kiss, so soft compared to when he ploughed her senseless. "So good."

"Good," Ray smiled, squeezing her body before gazing at the skyline, all doe-eyed and gooey inside. The night sky was stunning, the warm glow of the lights even more so, but his sweet girl? She was everything he ever wanted and needed, looking so perfect with his softening cock still deep inside her.

"I'm yours, too, y'know..." he muttered after a few moments of silence, "I want you to be mine so bad, darlin', but I'm yours too. You've got me--forever."

"I know, Ray. I love you, too," (y/n) sighed, rubbing her hand over his, grinning when she heard the slight chink of their wedding rings bumping together.

To say she was glowing was an understatement; she was safe, happy, and warm with her husband, even if she realised post-entanglement that they'd played a risky game - fun but scandalous.

"Can't believe we just fucked in front of the most famous city in the world."

"I'm hearing no complaints...In fact, you begged for it. Screamed," Ray grinned, and upon hearing the smirk in his voice, (y/n) whacked his shoulder, albeit with warm cheeks and a grin of her own.

Perhaps that was true, but people in glass houses... He made himself sound like such a prude. Yet, really, he was the horniest man she'd ever met, and the one with his pants hanging around his knees because he'd been so desperate - the one who'd still not yet pulled out because he was hoping to get lucky again.

"Only because you seduced me! Like you did before we left home and were on the plane. You're a bad influence, you big doofus." She giggled, gasping slightly when their bodies moved, making his cock drag against her walls.

It wasn't the best argument, given how her eyes fluttered closed, biting her lip in what Ray saw as an utterly seductive move. Was she trying to make him want her? Because it was working, he whispered hotly against her ear, suddenly serious and baritone, his voice as smooth as a rich, dark chocolate.

"Can't a man make love to his wife?"

"Against a window for the world to see?" (y/n) gulped when he tweaked her nipples again, sending all-too-familiar shockwaves down her spine as her sensitive core tingled. Ray was silent and simply leaned forward for a filthy kiss - all tongue and teeth as he planned his next move. What was that offer she made again?

His eyes glanced down to where their bodies connected, feeling himself harden inside her again when he observed the deliciously slick flesh engulfing his cock. Only he had a different goal, pulling out of her entirely to a chorus of petulant whines as he drifted north.

He'd give the city a show, wanting his precious wife ruined and speechless by the end of the night. It started when he pressed himself into her tight passage, turning whimpers into wails and gasps as he whispered...

"Well, when in Paris, sweetheart..."

*je suis sweating after that, mon amors. mais oui, mais oui ray wants his baby so bad (and I do too but not yet ruth.)

children, open les peepers and let's go forth. we've got some weird mime shit to get through and endless bits of pda from our doofus and sweet girl.

allon-sy! (said the 10th--or 14th???--doctor).

~The next morning~

The team rose bright and early, donning their uniforms before heading to a quirky cafe in downtown Paris.

Everything was so French, unsurprisingly, with freshly baked bread, croissants and coffee for breakfast, walking down the street to the sound of an accordion. Of course, Ray and (y/n) went hand-in-hand, wearing matching lightweight, waterproof jackets for the cool morning air, and they adored the city of love.

It screamed them, strolling with enamoured smiles as the kids trailed behind them, chatting about the thrill of being in a foreign country. Bose was a little quiet, but (y/n) supposed it could be jet lag, and her doofus had already swept her into a passionate kiss before she could think about it further.

She entered the cafe first, ears warming when Ray opened the door for her like a true gentleman, even if he left Danger Force to fend for themselves. He strolled in like he owned the place, looking ridiculously handsome in his Captain Man costume.

He faced a hoity-toity old lady with a sour expression and an alarmingly bright red jacket, tie, and crisp white shirt - her name was Marie, and she had the joy of being their host.

"All right, everybody! Calm down! America's here!" Captain Man announced as he walked toward the woman and unzipped his jacket. Miss Danger gestured for the children to come closer. She was willing to let her husband do most of the talking since only he could saunter around with that level of nonchalant confidence.

"All right, first things first, I got a couple'a great jokes about French people, so let's dive right in. How many French people does it take to surrender to--" Or perhaps not.

"Okay, doofus, we're not gonna go there!" (y/n) shouted above his voice, jumping forward to push him away before he could say anything offensive. They'd not even been there for twenty seconds, and he'd already scandalised his host, etching a deep frown on her face - some things were still too raw to talk about.

"Je suis de le mond désolé pour lui," Mika crooned to the woman with her sweetest smile, hoping to smooth things over as her friend gave the hero a stern look.

She'd sat with them on the plane, and when they didn't sneak off to the bathroom together - which was obvious to her - she'd had a few French lessons from (y/n). Not much, just enough for the average tourist, but Marie looked at her like she'd grown a second head when she put it into practice.

"I'm sorry. I do not understand," the older woman replied in a thick, French accent, making the group's Smarties frown.

"But she was speaking French," (y/n) pointed out, coming up from behind Mika to gently place her hands on the girl's shoulders. Ray's soft eyes followed her every move, but he smirked at his young sidekick, ready to deploy his smug face.

"But no! French is just English with a very ridiculous accent!"

"See? I'm right about everything," he told Mika arrogantly when she turned to him with that stupid and annoying face. Marie was nice enough, but that couldn't be right...and she desperately wanted to smack him.

"Oh, doofus..." (y/n) sighed and shook her head at him, but as always, she couldn't help but smile and peck his cheek.

Ray was just too adorable to her when he looked at her with that dopey grin, sliding his arm around her waist as Mika rolled her eyes. Deep down, he knew she was right, glaring at the French woman for being so ridiculed.

"This place kinda looks like Hip Hop Purée," Chapa mentioned as she wandered around the café, noting the similarities.

The counter was in the same place with all the snacks and drinks, the logo on the wall was similar, and the decor screamed modern American culture. Save for the random memorabilia and displays around the room and the name difference with Paris, the heroes felt at home - almost as if they hadn't gone transatlantic.

"But of course! We want you to feel at home while you guard our national treasures," Marie replied, dramatically gesturing around the room with elegant sweeps of her arms.

"Well, I guess somebody has to," Ray retorted as the woman moved to the priceless artefacts they had to protect. His gaze slid to the only other Parisian in the room, glaring harshly at the blond, garlicky man as he spun around in an ergonomic chair and sipped an espresso with an unbothered, clueless smile. "Since Monsieur Man over there is on strike."

"That is correct. I will not fight crime until someone buys me a pretty pink motorcycle," he replied defiantly, looking almost ridiculous in his copycat uniform. (y/n) had heard how he was popular with the ladies, sharing many characteristics with Captain Man, except he hadn't found a sweet girl of his own yet. She supposed he was handsome somehow, but he had nothing on her husband.

"I'm sick of taking the subway! I want to drive around and say, beep, beep, beep! Out of my way! I am Monsieur Man!"

"Okay..." Was all Chapa had to say, reacting to his cheery explanation with a flat, bored expression--almost a look of repulsion. She wasn't impressed, wondering why she had to travel thousands of miles for the whims of some spoilt little French boy.

"What are we guarding here?" (y/n) asked, turning to Marie to refocus the group. Still, when she saw the items the hostess had gathered, she wouldn't exactly call them treasures.

"Only the most important treasure in all of France," she said proudly, gazing at the weirdest collection of knickknacks they'd ever seen.

"Napoleon's pants..." She held up the so-called antique, and everyone wrinkled their noses. The garments were pinned to a board for preservation and were tiny as if they belonged to a child. They'd yellowed with age, looking disgustingly old, wrinkled, and manky as she held them to the light.

"The first French bread ever baked..." She gently picked up the long, stick-like baguette like it was made of glass, but dear God, the smell.

The bread had to be decades old and had turned a dark shade of green due to a cakey layer of mould. It was enough to make anyone sick to the stomach, and (y/n) nuzzled against Ray's chest, subtly inhaling his fragrant cologne and not the musky stench from the bread.

"And finally, the original helmets of music superstars, the Daft Punk." She smiled at the futuristic helmets, which made everyone genuinely smile. They could be considered true treasures - part of music history, even if they weren't precisely to Ray's taste.

"Ah...I definitely know who Daft Punk is because I'm cool, and I know cool things," the man commented flatly as he stared at the helmets. Yet, nothing came to mind, not even when the kids cheered and gasped with excitement. Even his sweet girl grinned with awed eyes, her hand clamped over her mouth.

"Really, doofus? I wouldn't have thought they were your thing..." (y/n) frowned confusedly as she squeezed his beefy arm to her body. She knew everything about him, from the colour of his underpants to his childhood imaginary friend to his favourite baby name. This was news to her.

"Name any of their songs," Mika dared him, making the hero freeze, not that he showed it. He couldn't care less about this Daft Punk, but he played it off well, keeping his expression stern and focused as he ignored her.

"There's no time!" He shouted dramatically before snapping his gaze to Chapa. "Volt! Let's get an inventory of those weapons before any of these cheese-eaters try to steal my favourite band's helmets or whatever."

"Uh, we got a problem, Cap..." The girl said slowly as (y/n) glanced at her lover suspiciously, only to look even more perturbed when she heard that. Those weapons were all they had; problems weren't what they needed when they'd left everything else at home.

"We took the wrong bag," she revealed, snatching a familiar item from the gym bag.

Ray scoffed at that doohickey of Bose's creation, his little windmill of angry faces. He hated that thing, but unfortunately, they'd mistaken the proper weapon bag for the identical junk sack, and he growled when he yanked out another bizarrely useless item - a tangled, brightly coloured, shaggy slinky.

"Aw, what? Care to explain this, buddy?" He asked the kid harshly, stomping over with the slinky in hand to where Bose had been deathly silent, keeping himself to himself in a shady corner. It was weird; he was typically so outgoing, but he had barely said a word since they'd left Swellview, and even when his boss snapped, he didn't turn around.

"I can't because I am the dumb one," he replied quietly, sounding like he'd gone swimming in a brewery, slurring his words in a funny voice. His jacket said BrainStorm, but (y/n) narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Bose, honey..." she called out to him, reaching to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. The poor kid sounded like he had the world's worst cold, but as Ray threw the springy tangle into a corner, a sour smell assaulted his nose, a shiver ran down his spine...a deep, instinctive yearning settled in his gut.

"Ew...did someone science in here?!" He questioned in a disgusted tone with a wrinkled face, glancing at his sweet girl and the kids.

"Don't luck at me, doofus! I only do math when you're around to drool..." (y/n) exclaimed as she and Mika held their hands up in defence. They were The Smarties but had barely had enough time to sleep, let alone flex their brains, so it didn't make sense. That is until Ray's nose pointed him somewhere else.

"Wait a minute," he muttered, squinting at Bose's figure. His superhero senses told him something was wrong, especially when he noticed how the boy refused to look at him and how short he seemed to be--a little too shifty.

So, he yanked the hood down, revealing those familiar sickly brown locks and a pair of dark sunglasses. He quickly ripped from his stunned face, and there were a pair of irritatingly familiar, wide, brown eyes locked onto his.

"Schwoz! Dang it!" Ray snapped upon seeing the genius through his cunning disguise, making the others gasp in horror, too. "I thought I told you to stay home, you little nerd!"

Schwoz didn't even need to think about his next move. He'd been busted, and now that the cat was out of the bag, he felt no loyalty to Ray. There was no need to keep up this façade, not when he had a personal mission to complete, so he threw the hero and his sidekicks an anguished glance before bolting for the door.

"I want to find looooooove!"

"Wait...if that was Schwoz...then where's...?" Mika pondered as she stared thoughtfully at Chapa, who was stunned speechless by the handyman's devious actions and dramatic exit.

"Kevin!" Ray screeched in horror, his face a picture of panic when he realised the worst. The thought was there, but come on...

"Um, doofus, you mean, Bose?" (y/n) corrected in a whisper as she hovered by his elbow. She was equally terrified at the heart-stopping thought of accidentally leaving one of her babies in the Nest. Still, she couldn't help but frown when her husband got his name wrong - after so many weeks, if not months, of knowing him.

"I mean--Bose!--I mean, BrainStorm!" He exclaimed dramatically when he realised he lacked his wife's tact, shouting the boy's name when it should've barely been a whisper.

But he got there in the end, and the couple gawped at each other in a state of pure panic; this was the first time they'd forgotten a child in the many years of having them, and it felt like they'd lost a limb. They felt sick to their stomachs, foreheads clammy and fingers trembling as (y/n) slowly shuffled into his embrace, picturing the poor kid alone in the Man's Nest. It broke her heart, and all she could think was how it was her fault.

You didn't check. You should've noticed. You will be responsible if he gets hurt. Her brain always picked the right moments to be so helpful.

"You guys, what happened to Bose?" Chapa asked angrily, breaking them out of their self-loathing. She was aloof and insensitive, but deep down, she cared about her friends--especially the ones who could barely tell a goldfish from a grenade.

"Did we leave him at home?"

"Alone?" Miles gasped, snapping his gaze to his teachers as they gulped.

"Yes! Oh, God...we left BrainStorm at home! Oh, my baby..." (y/n) whimpered, feeling truly awful as she hugged herself. Ray tried to comfort her, keeping his arm around her shoulders as he mournfully stared at the floor before pecking her hair.

"He's my favourite one!" He nodded, not that it helped. The others looked at him offendedly, although Chapa could understand why. Still, (y/n) slapped his chest and tried not to smile or show any sign of approval because that would be wrong. Very wrong.

"Captain Man! We don't have favourites!" She told him firmly, flashing the children a wobbly but sincere smile since she loved them all for unique reasons, but that wasn't important whilst she sunk further into her sadness.

"But poor Bosey...he's probably scared and cold and hungry and tired, and oh, God! Doofus!"

"I know, sweet girl. I know..." Ray sniffled, holding her painfully contorted face against his chest when her rambling turned into anguished, strangled cries. He couldn't bear to see her sad but knew her pain, feeling responsible and guilty despite not showing it; deep down, he cared, and it was enough to bring tears to his eyes, too.

They could picture it now: he'd be tucked up in a corner of their home, not knowing how to find the kitchen or turn up the thermostat. He wouldn't have gotten any sleep, too afraid of the dark and the monsters that could lurk in it since he didn't do well alone. The poor kid must've been terrified, and it was impossible to help him--possibly days before they could go home.

He didn't show it often, but Captain Man would move mountains for his sidekicks, so it mildly shocked them to see him so distraught. The man resorted to squeezing his beloved wife in His embrace, manically petting her soft hair as she fanned her eyes, refusing to show fear in front of her other babies, but they wouldn't stop.

"Somebody call my baby Bose...My poor baby," she whimpered, feeling a little pathetic, but luckily, Mika swiftly fished the PearPhone from her pocket. She had Bose on speed dial, clicking his contact and holding the cell to her ear as the dialling tone beeped.

"Relax, (y/n/n)...I'm calling him."

"It won't work!" A cruel, mocking laugh came from the corner - more like a sneer. Miss Danger flashed her most vicious glare at its owner, wishing she could burn holes in Monsieur Man's head as he sat there, perfectly content and carefree, whilst her world was in chaos.

"Listen here, Pepé Le Pew..." she growled, so ready to sink her claws into him that Ray had to encircle his arms around her waist to keep her at bay, only for another annoying froggy accent to reach her ears.

"The cell phone service you are using, ATandOui, is on strike."

"The whole country is on strike," the French hero explained, coolly sipping his espresso as Ray tried the number to no avail. "They all strike for Monsieur Man. Ha, ha!"

"Okay, that's it! I'm gonna rip his head off. See if he's still smirking then." (y/n) lunged for the man, hoping to at least gouge an eye out or break his nose, but Ray was too swift and strong. He kept her snuggly in his arms, whispering soothing words in her ear to drown out Monsieur Man's victorious huff. She was better than that, even if her babies' safety could make her ferocious.

"If only we had someone who could teleport back home..." Miles suggested dryly, giving the woman a bemused yet tender look, making her ears warm.

"Au revoir, Frenchies," the boy sassed before jerking his arm in the air, disappearing in a flash of golden light. Surprisingly, he didn't reappear half a centimetre to the left or an inch to the right, so Ray and (y/n) assumed he'd returned to the Man's Nest - a much-needed reassurance.

"Nice! One of your superpowers actually worked... Lookin' at you, ShoutOut," the handsome man remarked, which earned a few eye rolls from the girls, but at least his wife perked up, and he was relieved to see her smiling again.

"Wow, you're really gonna go there?" Mika growled, a little hurt, but she had the last laugh when (y/n) reprimanded her doofus like a mother berating her child.

A gentle tug on his earlobe told him to behave, and he begrudgingly apologised to the girl, earning himself a soft kiss. They leaned in, needing a little sweetness after so much distress, but just when their lips were about to touch...

"What are you doing?!"

"Get out of here!" Two disgusted, ladylike voices suddenly bellowed from the female toilets at the back of the café, and a mortified figure burst through the door. It was Miles, who covered his blazingly hot face with his hands after seeing...things. He'd be scarred for life, but nothing was more humiliating than an utter failure.

"Okay, if anyone else is curious, that is the ladies' room," he said meekly as his friends stared at him, making the girls cringe. Nothing was worse than stumbling into a place where you couldn't be less wanted, and he'd really taken one for the team there.

"Anybody else got any ideas?!" Ray asked sternly, still worried and now pissed off since he'd missed a kiss from his sweet girl. And he really needed that kiss.

"I've got an idea!" Monsieur Man called from his cosy corner, ignoring Miss Danger's frosty glances. She'd warm up to him eventually - all women did - so he couldn't help but smile when she rolled her eyes and snarled.

"Merci, but we're good."

"Ah, but mon chéri..." the Parisian hero crooned smoothly with a blinding smile, a little too flirtatious for Ray's liking, as he stiffened and stood closer to her. But Monsieur Man was harmless, shifting his gaze behind them, finding something hilarious as everyone stared at him.

"Why don't you stop that mime from stealing the baguette?" He suggested playfully, pointing to where a sneaky criminal had slipped past Captain Man's razor-sharp senses and swiped the mouldy bread.

The heroes turned around to see the bizarre man creeping away most ridiculously. He was a classic mime, his face painted a ghastly white with exaggerated features. At the same time, he wore a black beret, white gloves, a monochrome striped shirt, braces, and black breeches.

Watching him was funny as he kicked his feet out with every step, the baguette raised high above his head, but despite the cutesy act, a criminal was still a criminal.

"Freeze!" Ray ordered after getting over his initial shock, and the mime immediately stopped...and began shivering?

"Oh, freeze! Like he's cold... That's kinda good," (y/n) giggled as she watched the silly man tremble like he was stuck on an arctic tundra. It even broke a smile on Ray's face, laughing with the kids when the actor hugged the baguette close and chuckled, too.

"All right, take it. You've earned the bread..." Ray sighed--so impressed with his quick wit and improvisation that he didn't have the heart to chase after the criminal. But that wasn't the point, much to his sidekicks' disgust and fury.

"No!"

"That's stealing!"

"He's getting away!" Mika and Miles exclaimed, wildly gesturing to the mime, who prepared to make a swift if overacted, exit. Luckily, Chapa had the brains to guard the door, blocking his path with the deadliest weapon in their arsenal - The Mean Wheel.

And surprisingly, it worked. One flash of Bose's grumpy face and the mime cowered away, holding his hands up in surrender with little fight left to flee.

"I guess it works!" The girl declared happily, expecting an epic brawl, but maybe Bose was onto something. It gave Ray enough time to grab the guy by his collar, yanking him back into the store.

"Well, sometimes, you just--" he grunted, pulling his detainee back with a mighty jerk as he jogged on the spot, "--y'know, get lucky."

"That's a Daft Punk song..." Miles pointed out, but he wasn't surprised when a blank expression passed over the hero's face.

"I know it is. Thank you," he scoffed casually, even though no one was fooled by his bluff.

Ray had to save face, not only for the civilians and so-called heroes watching but for his sweet girl, who shook her head in amusement as she kept her eyes trained on the mime. She didn't trust them - something about how they didn't speak made her nervous.

"Then sing it," Chapa taunted, smirking underneath her poker face. Everyone knew the man couldn't resist a challenge, and it was a battle of wills as he pondered his next move.

"Too expensive..." he answered vaguely before quickly dropping his gaze to the surly mime, clenching his fist around his collar in case he tried to escape.

He didn't trust them either, snapping his fingers for Mika to bring him a chair. The girl gently placed it in the middle of the floor, unaware of his plan.

She was shocked to see how roughly her teacher shoved the poor man onto the seat, nearly pushing him onto the floor as a melancholy pout made his bottom lip wobble. It was even more alarming to watch Miss Danger loom over him, an uncharacteristically aggressive glint in her eye as she studied the mime's pasty face, unnerving him for some weird reason.

She knew they had to question him about why he targeted the national treasures, but did they have to be so...mean?

"Talk!" Ray bellowed, making the actor flinch at his loud tone. Still, he said nothing - just collected himself and returned to sitting prettily.

"I said talk! Tell me where your friends are!"

"He's a mime. They don't talk!" Mika told him exasperatedly, knowing he could shout all day but never get through. (y/n) usually told him stuff like that, but she was weirdly silent for some reason, observing the mime broodingly.

"They also don't have friends," her brother jokingly added, which to most people would be true. Mimes were socially celebrated, perhaps a little nerdy and weird in most circles, but the couple knew better. Oh, they knew things the children would never believe. Things that would scar their innocent minds.

"Oh, he's got friends!"

"Guys, he's a mime. They live in hives, so when you see one, there's always a mime hive nearby," the heroine explained, much to the children's confusion. They looked at her like she was crazy, not missing how antsy Ray was.

"I expect this from Captain Man, but not you, M-D. Are you thinking of bees?" Chapa asked dryly, unable to believe such outlandish, childish nonsense.

"No! We're not making this up!" (y/n) exclaimed indignantly, clinging to her husband's arm as he frantically looked around for this so-called hive. "Mimes work together, they live in hives, and they protect their Mime Queen at all costs! Trust us!"

"I do not trust you..." Miles replied slowly, staring at the couple warily. He couldn't trust them, not when she spouted such nonsense, and he fondled any bit of flesh he could reach. Still, Ray didn't need their faith, nor did he seek their permission, returning to glare at the mime and bark his orders.

"Talk! Tell me where your hive is!"

"He's not gonna talk!" Mika yelled back, wondering when the man would learn, not that he'd listen.

"We'll see about that..." Ray growled before reaching for his belt, fingers fumbling angrily as he searched for his laser remote. In his experience, although unpleasant, a little pain and zapping here and there often loosened a criminal's lips. Even if the children disapproved, he shot a few orange bolts at the mime's shoulder, searing his skin a little - not enough to scar, but just enough to make him yelp.

"Talk! Talk! Talk!" He snapped, zapping the guy three times until the mime clutched at his chest, a mournful expression turning his face sour. He was an excellent actor and didn't break character through the mild torture.

"Okay, this guy's good! He's gotten me twice so far. I say we just let him have the bread, you guys."

"No!"

"Stop!" The children groaned as the hero stopped his interrogation and smiled cheesily. That's what the crook wanted--to lure them into a false sense of security, but they knew better. Plus, the bread wasn't theirs to give away like some two-cent fairground prize.

"Doofus, our job is to protect the bread, not give it to the first person who smiles at you!" His sweet girl said, chastising him, but Ray just whined like a little kid.

"But he wants it! Look, he's hungry!" He said petulantly, grinning as their captive pretended to tuck a handkerchief into his collar, rubbing his tummy like he'd not eaten in a week. The man felt sympathy for him yet failed to realise that the mime could just go to the bakery and buy fresh, non-mouldy bread.

"Well, he can go and whistle for it 'cause he's not getting a single crumb!"

"He's got a little bib going..." Ray sighed, amusedly watching the mime's antics even as his beloved wife scolded him. He was in a world of his own, absentmindedly patting the small of her back as Mika groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Cap..." she called out, but his stare remained blank and vacant.

"CAAAAAPPPPP!" The girl said louder, her flat tone finally reaching him when (y/n) whacked his shoulder and flicked his ear. The man blinked a few times, turning to his wife with a slight pout since he didn't like being on her wrong side, but the annoying noise of Mika talking to him soured his mood.

"WHHHHHAAAAAAT?" He replied in the same monotone drone, flashing the whites of his eyes when they rolled back in disgust. Would they ever stop pestering him?

"Let's try something else," she suggested, gracefully brushing past his rudeness when her friends slapped him again. Giving her a grateful smile, she turned to the mime, studying him closely.

"Like what?"

"What if we just played along? Let's let him do his mime games, and maybe he'll like us and tell us something," The girl grinned hopefully, making her teachers exchange a thoughtful look. At least they were considering it.

"If he won't speak our language, let's try speaking his..." Her brother added pensively, circling the glum-looking mime as he gently placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. He agreed with her; he'd always been the hippie type, and it was much better than lasering the poor guy.

"Oh, no! I sure hope no one throws an imaginary rope around me!" Mika exclaimed in a weird voice, drawing puzzled frowns from her friends.

Her cheery, overly enthusiastic attitude wasn't natural. She sounded like she was on a TV commercial or as if she'd had a brain transplant, especially when she smiled like that - a little too brightly for sanity. It didn't impress Ray or Chapa, the latter of whom folded her arms and glared because it was stupid. There was no way she'd do that.

"What?" They said together flatly, but it worked on the mime. He perked up instantly, turning that frown upside down when he finally understood ShoutOut's meaning. Snapping his head in her direction, they smiled gently at each other, radiating hope, peace, rainbows, and everything else Chapa hated.

"Because then I'd have no choice but to get pulled in." That had the stripey-shirt-wearing man leaping excitedly, as giddy as a schoolboy, to join her little game. As Mika began to jovially run away, he expertly mimicked taking an imaginary rope from his imaginary belt before spinning it around his head like a lasso and tossing it in her direction.

"Oh no! I'm running away!" She announced in that fake voice before she was caught, arms glued to her sides like he'd tied her up. "He's got me!"

"He got you! He totally got you!" Ray exclaimed, happily pointing to the mime's antics as he began to pull the girl toward him in solid and dramatic tugs. Someone changed his tune quickly...

"Do me next! Do me! Rope me!"

"Doofus, watch out!" (y/n) gasped when he pushed past her, Miles, and Chapa, utterly charmed by the mime's innocent act.

It was a world away from how he'd threatened and assaulted him, jumping up and down with his hand above his head. He volunteered as tribute, ignorant to the tired, shaking heads behind him. Was this a good idea?

Ten minutes later, the mime had added to his posse.

He'd managed to rope - literally and figuratively - Mika, Ray, (y/n), and Miles, lashing them together with his invisible lasso. They didn't struggle, playing his little game with bright smiles and good sportsmanship - everyone except Chapa.

The moody girl refused to stoop so low, hovering on the sidelines with crossed arms and a joyless expression as she watched in disdain. She couldn't believe them, watching as they fell for its tricks one by one, huddling together until (y/n) was pressed against her husband's side and her fellow students were tucked under her arms. Utterly ridiculous.

""Uh-oh, we're tied up!" They exclaimed, clamouring loudly about how fun it was, how clever the mime was, and how they were finally getting through with him. All of which Chapa resented.

"Now, you gotta do Volt next!" She scowled at Ray's suggestion, throwing him a killer glare as she leaned against the door.

"Tie up, Volt!"

"Yeah, do Volt!" Their endlessly irritating cries came, and she huffed and puffed at how they encouraged the alabaster-faced criminal. It got worse when he flashed a saccharine grin and began to spin his invisible lasso above his head, intent on roping her into it.

"Nope. Not doing it," Chapa stated firmly, turning her nose up at the thought, even when they begged and pleaded.

"Come on! You're in Paris! Give in to the whimsy!" (y/n) said teasingly, feeling a muscular arm curling around her waist. She wasn't keen either but quickly found the fun in the mime's horseplay since it gave her a great excuse to stand closer than proprietary usually deemed acceptable to her doofus.

"Whimsy! Whimsy! Whimsy!" The Macklin twins chanted as Ray dipped his head to smooch his beloved wife's cheek.

He'd definitely succumbed to the whimsy, holding her tightly as the children caused their raucous. Glancing up from her soft skin and sweet-smelling hair, the man smiled when he saw Chapa budge an inch, slowly - very slowly - edging toward her friends in little jumps as she fought off a grin.

"She's moving! She's playing along!" He exclaimed, laughing when the girl finally gave in and showed that beautifully rare smile, side-stepping closer to them with every yank of the pretend rope. By the end of it, spurred on by the chant, she was entirely into it, leaping toward the group like no one was watching - even Chapa had a little child inside her who wanted to play.

"Man, I told you this guy was good!" Ray noted as she wiggled close to him, beaming at her teacher due to her good mood. It was a little disconcerting, but they went along with it, happily huddling together as the mime crept away. He had them right where he wanted them...

"That's it, case closed. He's gettin' the bread."

"He's not gonna get the bread, doofus," (y/n) giggled as she rested her cheek against his chest, so entranced with his handsomeness and the thumb stroking her hipbone that she didn't notice anything behind her.

It was just the chattering children, her, and her husband, who slowly reached down to kiss her gently - the best distraction.

"Ew, do you guys have to do that when you're so close to us?" Chapa grimaced, looking up from her excited conversation to see them locking lips. She could even practically feel the pleasured rumbling coming from the hero's chest and gagged when (y/n/n) cupped his cheeks happily - vomit-worthy.

"I think it's the romantic atmosphere. Do you see how he clung to her this morning when they left the--"

"Hold up!" Miles gasped, interrupting his sister's idealistic and romantic rambling, when he noticed something weird. While they'd been talking, kissing, and God knows what else, the mime had disappeared to rummage through their bag of useless weapons; only some of them weren't so useless.

"What's happening?"

"Uh, is this still part of his act?" (y/n) gulped nervously, feeling rather stupid as she separated from her lover to see how the mime had literally tied them up. Even though he'd used Bose's bizarre slinky, he'd wound it around their bodies tightly, forcing them together until he had a nice little bundle of superheroes under his control, stuck and helpless in the multicoloured tangle.

"Yeah, let him do it, sweet girl! Don't worry!" Ray reassured her, returning to focus his lips on her jawline since he wasn't worried. He could protect her immediately, although the mime was utterly harmless in his mind.

"I thought the whole thing with mimes is that they only pretend to do real things," Chapa noted, her happiness gone and replaced with her signature moodiness. But this time, it was justified, seething at the guy as he pulled the slinky tight, squeezing her abdomen uncomfortably. She knew this was a bad idea, but nooooo...

"No, the thing about mimes is they make invisible honey," Ray explained, not that it helped their nerves.

"Again, bees." Mika sighed, wondering how his imagination worked, but then, an obnoxious laugh broke her from her panicked thoughts. A very irritating, French-flavoured laugh from the man across the room.

"What are you laughing at, French fry?" (y/n) sneered as she turned to Monsieur Man, thoroughly irritated to learn that he'd witnessed their whole failure.

He stood in the doorway to the other side of the cafe, nursing yet another coffee as he watched bemusedly, highly entertained by how his American cousin floundered so spectacularly. But he didn't react to her sore-loser sourness, flashing her that charming smile again like he did with all the ladies and nodded toward the entrance.

With a small amount of strained effort, the group shuffled around to see what he was looking at, feeling faint when they faced a band of more merry mimes.

Ray gasped loudly when he countered three more pasty-faced men, one clutching Napoleon's pants as the other two flanked a lady mime.

She wasn't just any old weirdo, though, staring at them down her nose with pursed lips. There was something different about her than the others, not just the small accents of red in her outfit; above her white face and stencilled eyebrows, a pretty little crown sat nestled on her pinned-up hair, a symbol of authority in the mime world.

"It's more mimes!" Miles cried, suddenly feeling like a sitting duck as he accidentally elbowed Mika in the ribs when he jerked in surprise.

"They've come from their hive!" Ray growled, glad he'd taken his chance to wrap an arm around his sweet girl, protectively holding her against his chest. She turned in his arms to hold onto the kids, pulling Miles and Mika closer as she glared at the head mime, knowing she was as vicious as they came.

"Is that...a Mime Queen?" Mika gulped, leaning back into the woman for comfort as the Queen pretended to act something out, holding a blue plate with a slice of toast.

"And is she squirting invisible honey on a piece of toast?"

"Of course she is!" Captain Man exclaimed angrily, silently furious with himself for being duped so quickly when he knew their tricks so well. "I told you I'm right about everything!"

"Stop gloating, doof! They're...laughing at us..." (y/n) breathed out, her mouth dropping open when she indignantly watched all four mimes bent over, laughing their lungs out. They pointed and giggled, chuckled, chortled, and barked like a pack of hyenas, much to their anger.

But no matter how much the team struggled, growled, or begged, they couldn't get free. The slinky was surprisingly sturdy, so knotted and jumbled that the links couldn't be undone, even if Chapa bit it, if Ray puffed out his chest, if (y/n) yanked it, or if the twins tried to untie it. Watching them struggle, muttering curses and harsh words as they knocked against each other, was hilarious, and the mimes retreated to the corner to plot revenge.

With their enemies rendered useless, they turned to the Mime Queen for orders, hissing and giggling as they imagined all the fun of stealing the national treasures before their eyes.

"We gotta stop those mimes!" Chapa exclaimed as the others tugged her one way and tossed her another. And to make matters even better, Monsieur Man sat on the sidelines, chuckling at every slip-up they made.

"I'm trying. I'm just stuck!" Miles replied curtly, squirming against his friends and teachers to try and loosen their bonds, but it was no good. Bose was really ahead of the curve with that goddamn slinky.

"I can't believe this stupid thing actually works..." Ray mumbled to himself, furious that he had his sweet girl pressed against him, gyrating, and he couldn't do a damn thing. Not to mention that his young protégés were at risk like fish in a barrel, and to top it all off, that smug idiot was loving every second.

"...and stop laughing!"

"Stop being funny!" Monsieur Man shrugged, his shoulders shaking mirthfully, much to the other hero's fury.

It was too much for poor ShoutOut, who felt the pressure of every more than most - the mimes, that asshole, their infuriating bonds, the urge to protect the treasure, the reputation of her whole country on their shoulders. Succumbing to the stress, she released an almighty scream from deep within her diaphragm, reverberating so powerfully that it blew the door shut and knocked the mime squad over.

"It worked!" Mika gasped softly, shocked that she'd managed to activate her super-scream when it was typically so elusive.

"About time..." Ray muttered quietly, earning himself a sharp jab to his elbows from his wife.

The kids were slowly but surely getting better at their powers, which Miles proved when he wormed an arm free and managed to thrust it in the arm. He vanished from the huddle, and with his disappearance, the slinky loosened enough to drop to their feet. Now, the tables had turned.

"Hey! Nice job, AWOL!" Miss Danger exclaimed gleefully when she took her first unencumbered breath for the first time in fifteen minutes. The group immediately jumped apart, scared to be roped together again, even if the Mime Queen and her minions were still winded on the floor.

"Where'd he go?" Chapa asked, scouring the room for her teleporting friend, but he was nowhere to be seen. He could've gone anywhere in the world knowing the unreliability of his superpower. Still, there was no time for a debate.

The Mime Queen recovered from the minor attack relatively quickly, and her subjects followed when she got to her feet. She put up her fisticuffs, ready to battle the heroes to her last breath, glaring at them as they shook off the shock of Miles' teleporting.

"Who cares?! It's queen-punchin' time!" Ray barked, dancing on his toes like a boxer as he readied himself for a fight - and boy, he wanted to sink his teeth into it. (y/n) copied his movements, drawing her fists close to her face as the kids did the same, following his lead.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Ray bellowed his battle cry, brawny arm raised high above his head as he charged, desperate to pound the Queen into the ground. She met his attack with equal tenacity, leaping with the grace of a ballerina before she brought her fist down on his cheek.

The hero tumbled to the ground like a sack of potatoes, dazed by the brutal blow as the other mimes circled his sidekicks. They were efficient, keeping (y/n), Mika, and Chapa away from their boss as the Mime Queen beat him while he was down - not very sporting of her. She kicked and clawed at him, trying to squish his skull with the pointed heel of her boot, and it was more than Ray's job's worth to swiftly roll out of the way before he was jelly on the floorboards.

"Captain Man!" (y/n) called out worriedly, dodging the mime who tried to drag her around by her hair as she watched her beloved doofus rolling around to preserve his life. The woman was vicious, snarling with each foot stamp, but she had to trust him to care for himself.

Mika and Chapa relied on her expertise to keep the mimes at bay as they battled to protect the treasure. The former wrestled with one to retrieve Napoleon's pants while the latter worked with her teacher to throw another against the wall. Monsieur Man nearly spilt his espresso as the mime bashed against it with a groan.

Still, he was amused anyway, thinking Miss Danger looked very pretty in her uniform. He sighed contently as she held the mime by the throat, unabashedly slamming his head against the bricks as Chapa dusted her hands off.

Across the room, Ray had escaped the Mime Queen's clutches, taking his chance to swipe her feet out from under her. Luckily for his French cousin, he didn't see how his soft eyes followed her, wondering what it would be like to have a pretty assistant like her to fight by his side. And what a sight she made, tossing another mime into Chapa's hold, only to roughly throw him to the ground.

"Waaaaaah!" Mika shouted as she tried to activate her scream on her opponent as he whimpered on the floor, still refusing to release the pants. "Okay, this worked a few minutes ago!"

"Miss Danger, get over here and help me with the queen!" Ray yelled to his wife, making her anxiously dart from him to the children and the remaining artefacts on the counter. She'd fight by his side in a heartbeat, but a hand on her arm stopped her.

"What the--?"

"We have to secure the treasures!" ShoutOut implored, knowing they'd merely stupefied the miming minions. They'd only need a minute to recover and swipe the treasures again - Ray would surely be okay on his own.

"Who cares about the treasures? Give me my wife!" The man argued, ducking and weaving against the evil woman before him. "We gotta take out this queen before she lays any more eggs!"

"Eggs?!" Chapa gasped, having never heard anything so weird and grotesque.

She didn't want to know how that was possible, but she didn't have time to question it, watching when Ray tried to punch the Queen several times. He gave her a succession of swift, straight lefts and rights. Still, she miraculously evaded them, floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.

"What?" He mumbled when she mimed, moving something out of the way, distracting him for a split second. It was long enough for her to whack him across the face, much to Monsieur Man's amusement, as he tumbled to the floor.

"Oh, shut up, you smug ass!" (y/n) growled at him before rushing over to her husband, unnecessarily worried, but she couldn't help it. "Doofus, are you all right?!"

"I'm fine, darlin'..." The hero swiftly reassured her with an enamoured smile, wiping his lip to chase away the fleeting pain before lightly gathering her in his arms. There was no time for more comfort, but it was enough to quell her worries until he picked up a smooth, pale object from behind the counter. Well, that was worrying, and he turned to Chapa with a stern frown.

"Eggs that hatch into mime larvae! Keep up!" He growled, his tone varying wildly from how he gently addressed his sweet girl as he brandished the disturbing egg at the girl.

The Mime Queen didn't take too kindly to her enemy holding one of her...children and angrily yanked it from his dirty mitts before kicking him in the guts. The brutal blow knocked the wind out of Ray, who grunted and panted as (y/n) turned a disgusted and shocked scowl at her. She didn't take too kindly to see her husband hurt.

"Hey!" She shouted, pointing an angry finger at the nonchalant Queen as Ray hunched over the counter. "No one kicks my doofus!"

In a daring, deadly charge, the heroine took everyone by surprise and tackled the Queen, pulling her to the ground for what could only be called a bitch fight. Straddling the woman's torso as she blinked up at the ceiling, she slapped her silly across the face, hoping to rearrange her pointed features or, at the very least, make it sting.

After pummelling her cheeks a little, she scrambled to her feet, dragging the Queen with her as the children watched with wide eyes and mouths. God...remind them never to threaten her husband. She was lethal, taking the lady mime by her collar and launching her over the counter without mercy - it was less than she deserved.

With the Mime Queen down, the mimes resumed their fight, brawling with the children as Ray straightened and rushed over to his breathless girl.

She couldn't be hotter in his eyes, worthy of a thousand kisses, not that the girls cared if they shared them now. Chapa was busy with her mime, trying to zap him with some electricity to retrieve the Daft Punk helmet. Still, he was too slippery, slapping her hand away at the last minute.

The scarlet lightning missed him and flew to Mika instead. Goddamn, it burned her skin like hellfire, pulling one of her ear-splitting screams from her throat, which luckily took down the mime. Unfortunately, as he tumbled, he crushed the precious helm, shattering it into a million billion shards.

It was neither Daft nor Punk, just fragments of something formerly great, making the kids cringe as the treasures fell through their fingers.

"Sorry!" ShoutOut exclaimed woefully as she stared at the ruined helmet, feeling endlessly guilty since the scream was unintentional - indeed an accident, but tell that to the people of France.

"It's okay..." her friend said breathlessly, more thankful for the rescue than the loss of the treasure.

Still, as she took a breather, Ray and (y/n) were plunged into the fray again as the Queen snuck up behind them, enacting her revenge by curling an arm around (y/n)'s throat. She had a little foresight, sensing the encroaching danger soon enough to jam a hand between them, but it was a barbaric attack.

"Can't...breathe..." she gasped, flailing against the Queen and the iron grip threatening to crush her windpipe. Ray was ready to kick the woman's head in, seeing red when his wife's eyes narrowed, fighting to free herself, but Chapa moved quicker.

Thinking on her feet, she grabbed the first weapon she saw - the beloved mouldy baguette that Marie loved so much. She didn't hesitate as she seized the slightly squishy yet stale French stick. She only saw the desperate need to free her friend as she stormed forward, brandishing the disgusting thing.

"All right, lady. Ba-guette wrecked!" She exclaimed, particularly proud of her sick quip as she cracked the bread over the Queen's shoulder, making her release the heroine and collapse.

Breathless, (y/n) fell against Ray's chest, unbothered by the mouldy crumbs all over her uniform since she was safe and unharmed, with only a few bruises for her super-regeneration to heal. Even Ray was stunned, instantly holding his sweet girl, but damn...

"Ba-guette wrecked?" He echoed incredulously, but there was a grateful glint in his eyes as the girl nodded sheepishly. "Okay, Chapa..."

"Thanks, kid," (y/n) said graciously, rubbing at her sore throat as her doofus smiled proudly and tittered over her health. She was fine, but the same couldn't be said for Mika, who'd been left to face the mime minions while they battled the Queen.

"Uh, little help?" She called out awkwardly, struggling with one of the henchmen as he took inspiration from his lady and encircled her in a deadly embrace.

Still, he was no queen, merely holding onto the girl for dear life as was his duty, so it didn't take much for her friends to free her. Glancing at one another, the couple and Chapa turned to the mime with bared teeth, threateningly stepping forward and screaming like they were about to tear him limb from limb.

It was enough to scare him shitless, and he released Mika without hesitation, making a break for it like only a mime could.

"Thanks..."

"No problem." The girls smiled at each other as (y/n) squeezed Ray's hand, glad to have a moment to breathe now that the mimes were scattered. They'd done pretty well to say they'd lost a third of the team, but the peace didn't last, not when Miles randomly teleported back into the room.

He'd been across the ocean and back, bursting here, there, and everywhere before finally returning to his friends, eager and ready to fight. Unfortunately, he was a tad tardy, looking around for any enemies while his friends clutched at their heaving chests - did he have to sneak up on them like that?

"Aw, man. I missed my chance to punch a mime?" The boy whined after squealing, visibly deflated, when he realised that every mime was either unconscious or gone.

Still, he wasn't disappointed for long, not when a loud, obnoxious, high-pitched alarm balled through the cafe, bathing its walls and residents in red light. The heroes looked around suspiciously, wondering if it was another mimey trick or something else to worry about. Yet, Monsieur Man leapt to his feet in delight, bounding over to them with all the energy and friendliness of a Golden Retriever.

"The strike! She is over!" He announced joyfully, much to their confusion. It had barely been going on for a day - how could it be over already when they'd only just arrived?

"What?"

"Yes, the France has purchased me a pretty pink motorcycle," the smarmy hero explained, casually flicking through his social media before beaming at his stunned American counterparts. "Now, beep, beep, beep! Out of my way! I am Monsieur Man! Ha-ha!"

"God, I hate him..." (y/n) sighed as she watched the Parisian disappear through the entrance, skipping like a little girl at the thought of riding through the city on his bike, golden locks billowing in the wind. Well, as long as his garlicky smell was as far away from her as possible, she didn't care, tucking herself into Ray's side, smiling at his grumpy face.

Some use he was; he could've at least stayed to help them round up the mimes before running off to play with his new toy, but no matter. The team were used to getting their hands dirty and doing all the work, so they gathered the mimes and their Queen up in no time.

Bose's slinky - who Miles reported was safely at the Man's Nest like they feared - helped bind them together in a tit-for-tat style. They huddled in the middle of the room, snapping and gnashing their teeth like wild animals as Chapa helped (y/n) finish the final knot, ready for the cops to collect them.

They thought it was a job well done, clapping each other on the back and taking a minute for themselves when Marie burst into Hip Hop Paris. She looked like she'd run halfway across the city, stray hairs flying away from her sweaty face as she fixed her gaze on them. Miss Danger would bet ten dollars she knew what she was about to say...

"Captain Man! Mademoiselle Danger! The strike! She is--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's over. We heard." Ten dollars to her. She was ready to go home, tiredly tucking herself into Ray's side as he wrapped an arm around her waist. France was a little too hectic for them--and a little too weird.

"Did you protect our French national treasures?" Marie asked in concern, only to pale when the couple and their sidekicks winced guiltily. They could barely look her in the eye, let alone explain that they'd either been crushed or smashed.

"Well..."

"Uhhh..."

"Not even a little," Chapa replied in her signature deadpan, barely using a fraction of the remorse or tentativeness as her friends. She stood with her arms folded, not flinching when Marie's face fell because what was done was done. They'd defeated some mimes; that was something.

"Hey, the pants made it," Miles exclaimed when the yellowish garments caught his eye, having been discarded by one of their opponents during the fight. They looked a little dusty, but otherwise, they were perfectly unscathed, and he bent down to pick them up for the concerned hostess.

"Oh, wait, AWOL--" (y/n) started, reaching out to try and explain that old clothing tended to be delicate and easy to rip, but she was too late. The boy didn't reach for the board behind the pants; instead, he grabbed the leg, accidentally tearing the stitching when he pulled it too hard - and Napoleon's trousers were ruined forever.

"Never mind..." she muttered timidly, cringing when Miles stood up with the material still clenched in his fist.

"My bad. That's on me." At least he was noble enough to admit his mistake, not that it comforted the woman.

"What are we going to do?" She cried, tears gathering in her eyes, which never moved from where the pants formally laid, unharmed and relatively pristine. How was she supposed to tell the nation that the ones they'd hired to protect them were no better than the ruffians who wanted to steal them?

"Oh, well. We...are gonna go home," Ray told her awkwardly, looking at his pretty girl, who eagerly nodded despite her morality saying otherwise. She didn't want to stick around for the angry mob to come with their pitchforks and torches, and Ray much preferred his own bed for many reasons, eyeing the door as Marie glared.

"You cannot just leave!" She exclaimed haughtily, not that the hero gave a damn - he didn't answer to anyone...well, no one but his wife. "You came here, made a lot of dust-up, and destroyed all of our stuff!"

"Well, y'know..." (y/n) said awkwardly, not knowing how to explain it other than... "America."

"Nice one, sweet girl..." Ray chuckled in her ear as Marie tossed her arms in the air and marched off, undoubtedly to clean up the mess they'd made.

Still, she left their exit clear, and the group happily tiptoed toward the door now that they'd escaped a major telling-off.

"Can we go home, please?" She asked sweetly, smiling up at her doofus as he squeezed her hand. How could he refuse a request like that? He felt utterly exhausted after such a dramatic and lengthy trip, and nothing sounded like a better remedy than curling up with her in their bedroom to watch a cosy rom-com--one of her favourites, preferably.

So, leading her by the hand with the children following like chatting ducklings, he guided the team toward the door...only to be halted again. Ray had to grit his teeth to stop swearing, especially when he recognised the smooth, shiny head that ambled through the door like nothing was wrong.

Schwoz. He'd soon made himself scarce, the bald little weirdo, fleeing when they could've used another extra body during the battle, even if it were merely a meat shield. But something was off, namely the gorgeous woman with her arm wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't...did he?

"You guys! I met the love of my life!" He announced with one of the brightest smiles (y/n) had ever seen, and despite her tiredness, the romantic sight lightened her heart.

She could see why Schowz had fallen for the lady; she was tall, cheery, and beautiful, with her hair falling around her face in soft curls, pretty pink makeup, a flowery dress, a matching scarf, and an elegant handbag. She was everything and more for the handyman, who beamed with such a delicate creature on his arm, even if she was almost double his height.

"Aw..." she murmured, melting when the lovebirds smiled at each other, yet Ray wasn't so touched.

"We're leaving," he ordered curtly before seizing (y/n)'s hand and dragging her through the door. She could barely steal another glance at the couple, feeling like she was losing her real-life rom-com before she could sink her teeth into it. Talk about a killjoy.

"Doofus!" She exclaimed, digging her heels into the ground as he marched into the street, barely looking back at her.

"But I just found true love!" Schwoz argued, refusing to give up his beloved's hand when he'd dreamed of this moment all his life. It wasn't fair; everyone else, even Ray, with all his flaws and failings, found their soulmate, so why couldn't he? It was heartbreaking, especially when a rough hand grabbed his shoulder.

"I said, we're leaving!" The man hauled him through the door, and the love of Schwoz's life slipped through his fingers like sand. They stared at each other mournfully as the children hurried past, not wanting to be entangled in something so complex.

Even the captured mimes looked gloomy, which (y/n) didn't miss as she tripped over her feet on the way out. One look at Schwoz's wobbly bottom lips and teary eyes and her feet glued to the pavement, stopping abruptly in the street, much to the frustration of several baffled Parisians.

And if she stopped, the others stopped too, refusing to leave Miss Danger behind, even though they could weirdly ignore the genius' silent hiccups and sobs.

"Doofus, what are you doing?" She asked coldly, although when Ray whipped around, he saw more confusion in her face than disgust.

"You said you wanted to go home..." he replied simply, shrugging as if nothing was wrong despite her folded arms and Schwoz's trembling form. "So, we're going home."

"And what about everything back there?"

"What are you talking about?" He frowned, much to his wife's apparent disgusted shock. She stepped away from him as the kids looked at the couple with blank stares, wondering what to do since they were having a bit of a domestic.

They deemed it best to step to the side and start their own conversation; experience told them that fights and arguments were vanishingly rare and often ended before they barely started. They discussed everything from the weather to the dichotomy of good and evil - anything to give them space.

"Okay, don't be doofus all your life," (y/n) groaned, giving him a mildly bemused but mostly exasperated look. Even he wasn't that dense, merely playing coy because he knew she was irritated. "I'm talking about Schwoz and that French woman. Y'know, the love of his life."

"So?" Ray asked, tentatively placing his hands on her hips. He was gently surprised to realise that she wasn't totally pushing him away.

She sighed and returned the touch, reaching up to fiddle with the zip on his tunic, knowing that he could be unnecessarily, stupidly, ridiculously dense sometimes. But she knew deep down that he wasn't cruel, just...silly. Such a silly doofus.

"So, he should go be with her. You can't just rip them apart!" The heroine exclaimed, and Schwoz nodded weakly, pining for his sweetheart. He wanted to go and take her in his arms, just as Ray did with his sweet girl, but he wouldn't move with permission, too fearful of what the hero would do.

"Eh, he'll get over it..." the man replied casually before taking her soft hand. He wanted to take her home more than anything, eager to board the first plane and forget everything about this irritating trip, but (y/n) would budge, standing still with a face like thunder.

"Raymond..." she said firmly, taking his face in her hands so he could look into her eyes. "What if we lost our chance like this?"

"What...?" Ray gasped, heart fluttering at the implication, even if vague.

He didn't question anything to do with her, too thankful that he'd landed the girl of his dreams to want to know what his life would be like if he one day woke up to find out everything was a dream. The thought felt like a knife through his heart, turning the man with unwavering nerves into a shuddering mess.

"What would you have done if, all those years ago, someone took me away from you and said to get over it?" (y/n) proposed softly as the same emotions ran through her mind.

It was unimaginable; they were so solid and dependable, the couple everyone could rely on to always be together because they were soulmates. They were the universe's plan, star-crossed, and whatever else, snuggling closer when they wondered...what if they never fell in love?

"I'd rip their head off," Ray said quietly, and (y/n) didn't argue when he wrapped his strong arms around her as if he was terrified she'd disappear.

They were silent for a minute, hearing nothing but Schwoz's deep breaths and the children's debate over smooth orange juice or the one with bits in it. He kissed her head gently, so thankful he could say his ring was on her finger. "I'd go through hell for you, darlin."

"And I'd do the same for you..." she promised, pecking his cheek before pulling back to look at him with a soft smile, sighing.

"So, don't you think Schwoz deserves the same?"

"But sweet girl...it's Schwoz!" The hero exclaimed, glancing at the sorrowful genius, who looked worse for wear. Even Ray could see how torn up he was, and he felt a little bad, but come on... It wasn't like any of his relationships ever succeeded--like Ray could talk about his past flings.

"But doofus...nothing! Send him back there, or I'm not sitting next to you on the plane!" It was an empty threat; (y/n) always had to sit next to her doofus, needing to hold his hand on take-off so she'd never make him bunk with one of the kids.

Still, it inspired a slight panic in the hero, who gasped in horror and held her tighter at the thought of sitting beside...Chapa.

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would! Come on, doofus...do it for me. And for Schwoz. And for the Frenchy lady," she argued, soothingly rubbing his chest while fluttering her eyelashes - tempting and convincing him in only a way she could.

Ray sighed, weighing up every option. He hated the idea of losing Schwoz, knowing more than anyone that when a man fell in love, he'd forsake his every faculty and responsibility to pledge his devotion to her instead. He'd undoubtedly move out and start a new life, and he'd lose one of his oldest friends - that's why he was cruel...to be kind.

"...Fine. But just because I love you." After a few minutes, he heaved a heavy sigh, meeting Schwoz's gaze, who hoped with all hopes to have the green light. One nod toward the café, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree, shouting a million thanks before sprinting toward the love of his life and all the possibilities she could hold.

"I'll take it!" (y/n) squealed, looping her arms around his neck as she held him close, her beaming grin matching Schwoz's and the kids as they silently watched how he ran like the wind. It was weirdly kind for the man, who hated to see him go, but her happiness was worth it.

It would be like that one day; everyone would move on until it would just be them left - just him and his sweet girl. Henry left, and Charlotte, Piper, and Jasper left, too. Danger Force wouldn't last forever, either, and Schwoz wouldn't work for him indefinitely, not when, hopefully, they retired and had kids.

Not everything lasts forever, and Ray was gradually getting used to that fact, reassured that the love of his life was eternal. A love that would last a lifetime.

"Y'know, there's a heart of gold underneath that grumpiness."

4 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 4: Villains' Night (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*Just a lil smutlet to start us off. I know it's short, like 1500 words, but I've been trying to be a bit more concise. Like, do people want to read 30,000-word chapters? Probably not, so I'm economising. And I'm like exhausted. I am genuinely so tired, but I want to get this out so you guys can enjoy it.

First, we have this meme I saw on Tumblr and edited to fit our doofus and sweet girl cos this is so them-coded:

SECOND! I was messing about with ChatGPT, and when I asked it to try writing some DF fanfics, it instead summarised the show and well...let's just say AI doesn't watch Nickelodeon.

I love this summary. I vote that we change the show so Schwoz has laser hands.

Anywho--smut is starting. Don't read if you're anti-filth or young. I will not be held responsible for anything. Soy inocente.

He really was a sight for sore eyes.

Ray Manchester was hot. No questions. End of story. He was God-like: made from chiselled muscle, supple, golden skin, and gorgeously floppy hair with a face made by angels. In uniform, out of uniform, tight t-shirt or no tight t-shirt, he was handsome, and the world knew it. He knew it. But there was only one person who he truly loved to hear it from.

He closed his eyes and groaned, hips snapping to bury himself deeper, floof falling into his vision with each punch of effort. His nose scrunched, lips pursed, eyebrows rumpled together, biceps bulging near his ears; he looked good like that. More than good. Really fucking hot as a shimmery sheen stuck to his wrinkled forehead, gasps falling from his mouth with each...heavenly...movement.

And if he was in heaven, there had to be an angel. And there was.

She was perfect--but when wasn't she? She cried out for him so sweetly, pressing her palms to his clammy chest and abs, rolling her hips into his; he couldn't ask for more, yet he did. Begged, even. She was sweating too, warmed by the close heat of the room and the mid-morning sun streaking through windows. Another morning where they'd lost themselves in the moment.

How long had they been at it? Two hours? Three? Maybe even four? He'd lost count, merely remembering that he'd woken up to his sweet girl staring at him--admiring, as she excused. She looked so pretty, snuggled up in his embrace, kissing along his neck before he could rub the sleep from his eyes. He knew he wanted her, but he didn't know how much.

Once wasn't enough. They had a break after the second. Now, they just had to fuck once more. He didn't care if it was a school day, if someone had already knocked on their door once, or if it was quickly approaching lunchtime - his wife was beautiful in the yellow light, and he was insatiable.

"Fuck, doofus!" And so was she.

(y/n) smirked as she panted rapidly, exhausted without leaving her bed, but that was okay. Her legs could ache, her arms could feel like jelly, and her pussy could throb, but she wasn't stopping. Not for the world. Not when she had a God beneath her, bound and broken from her swivelling hips.

Ray was so hot - a sight for sore eyes, especially when he submitted to her like this. Experience had told him that giving her a little confidence and room to experiment got him off quicker and harder than anything else, so he relented his dominance and penchant for rough play and gave her some space.

His arms were slung over his head, wrists tied to the headboard with a red tie stolen from his closet when he was resting from fucking her through the mattress. She looped the material around him before he could protest, and seeing her straddle his abs was more than worth it. (y/n) loved looking down and seeing her husband smirking back at her, his thick torso laid before her like a goddamn feast as she guided him to her cunt.

Everything was slower this time from lack of energy, but no less passionate. She rode him like a queen, swirling her pelvis, skin slapping skin as she left red crescents on his chest with her nails. She was glad to take the third round, giving him time to lie back and enjoy himself as his previous releases made everything slick and easy, smeared down her thighs and his.

"So good for me, doof..."

"Feel so good, precious girl." They gasped together, sharing a breathless brush of a kiss when the heroine bent in half to reach his lips. Hot air passed over her lips as Ray fought to hold her hips, make her move faster, squeeze her tits--anything. He wanted to feel his wife fully; was that a crime?

But she pulled away, grinding against his lap, enjoying how his cock rubbed against her walls. She wanted to enjoy the final moments of their lovemaking, fingertips exploring every ridge of his abdomen and pecs as he whined underneath her. He rarely allowed her such luxuries, letting her suck and nip on his neck and collarbones, clenching when he moaned at her sharp teeth digging in.

"Being so good for me, Ray..." she moaned, hunching over and smooching his shoulders as he growled, aching to hold her.

"Yeah? 'M good for you, sweet girl?" He replied softly, hating how well she tied the knot, but her praise softened the frustration. As much as he wanted to hold her, have her spread underneath him, and do it his way, this was perfect. He lived to please her, and gaining her praise was deeply satisfying, seeing how she smiled softly upon taking in his toned, tanned body.

He was gorgeous, sighing, groaning, moaning, succumbing to his fate, knowing he existed for her.

"Mm-hmm. Earned this for being such a good boy last week..." she grinned, gently stroking his abs to calm him down when she flashed back to those traumatic events.

Miriam and Percy were gone, and so was Ray's beloved hair. Instead of the chocolate floof, all (y/n) had to stroke and admire was his gleaming bald head, which felt weird under her lips when she kissed his head affectionately. Understandably, he was distraught, hiding in her embrace. No one could see his baldness, but thankfully, a salve from Schwoz quickly saw the floof growing again.

She breathed a sigh of relief - she needed something to pull when he was fucking her through the mattress.

"And sucking me off the next day wasn't my reward?" Ray grinned, bucking his hips into hers as he recalled how brilliantly sweet she was that night. Following the world's longest nap, he sobbed after glancing in the mirror; she rubbed his back and assured him it was fine. She loved him with hair or without, and he didn't complain when she got down on her knees to prove it.

God, that was a good night, sagging against the wall in the Man's Nest while she slurped and choked on his cock. It was a little weird to look up and see him with a buzz cut, but she could just close her eyes and let him use her - a cocksleeve for his enjoyment. And he didn't worry about it all night, bruising her body with his sheer passion, leaving them exhausted again but utterly satisfied.

"I could stop if you don't want this..." (y/n) teased, body thrumming with hazy, soul-shattering pleasure. Planting her hands on his stomach, she doubled her efforts, slamming her cunt on his throbbing cock when Ray's gaze darkened.

If he could, his hands would be on her hips, throwing her underneath him, keeping his precious wife where she belonged. Her pussy was his second home, his second favourite girl, and she took him so well. How could she even hint at stopping?

"Don't you fucking dare."

"Love you, doofus," the heroine giggled as she kneaded her chest, giving her husband a show as she rolled her nipples between her forefinger and thumb. His half-lidded eyes watched with hungry, wanting to take her tits in his hands and mouth--to love her properly. But he relented, an agonisingly warm softness blooming in his heart when she spoke those words so reverently, honest and true.

"Pretty girl...fuck, I love you more than anything," the hero promised, tugging at his restraints, desperate to take her in his arms and fuck her properly. He wanted to love her, feel her, and push himself in as deep as he'd go until he was permanently one with her- until it took.

That damn tie was too tight, making (y/n) giggle as she leaned down again to kiss him, hips writhing and bucking together to chase a nearing high. It would be intense and soul-shattering, but they needed it, burning with love, lust, and longing as her lips clumsily trailed across his cheek. She lightly bit his jaw, breathing hotly into his ear, sucking on his earlobe before whispering...

"Cum with me."

He wasn't one to refuse his wife, swearing he'd pull the stars from the sky if she desired them. But this was easy, squeezing his fists together as they stilled and groaned. He filled her easily, pumping endless ropes into her awaiting pussy as (y/n) screamed, wondering which number that one was. Maybe three or four - thoroughly fucked by her doofus as she collapsed onto his chest.

Everything was hot. The room. Their bodies. The man she married. She didn't dare move, scared of pulling away and spilling the precious cum coating her walls, so she nuzzled into his damp skin, kissing his chest. Ray was equally fucked, wrung-out and smug when he rolled his hips, fucking himself deeper, and pulled another gasp from her lips.

They never cared about the world in those quiet moments after, connected on more than a physical level. It was a man and his wife, a woman and her husband, and no one else. Nothing else mattered, not even when the door creaked open, and a fuzzy little head poked around the corner.

"The kids are waiting downstairs. When you're ready. After the smoochy-smoochy...so...hurry up!"

Poor Schwoz. He'd been waiting over an hour to approach them, straying closer to their door, only to hear such unholy noises escaping through the cracks. He backed away and came back, backed away and came--an endless cycle of trying to say that Danger Force was waiting downstairs, but he was terrified.

Seeing his boss hazy-eyed and tied to his bed was one thing: arms slung above his head with a band of red silk keeping him still. Hearing one of his oldest friends shriek and seeing her pull a wrinkled sheet up to her chest was another. But, almost certainly, he'd never recovered, nor would he ever be able to wash the imprinted image from behind his eyes.

Schwoz was mortified. (y/n) was horrified. But Ray? He was fucking delighted.

*And we're safe again. Enjoy the rest of the chapter! I actually really like this episode (especially since DF as a whole is a bit shit :)

"We are so late!" (y/n) hissed as she and Ray raced to the school, barely rubbing the sleep from their eyes. It was true; they were so late, oversleeping and rolling around the sheets until the sun was high and well past mid-morning. Well, not that the doofus cared, strolling behind his beloved wife with a dorky grin.

He was happy--annoyingly pleased with himself for discombobulating such a perfect and precious girl. Her Miss Danger uniform was haphazardly thrown on, slightly rumpled and creased from their sprint to the tube. At the same time, he casually buttoned his tunic and zipped up his pants, leaning over her when they paused to go downstairs.

For someone who'd done nothing but keep her in his bed all morning, he was surprisingly touchy, wrapping his arms around her, smooching her neck as (y/n) flicked through a file - everything the kids needed to learn today. She wanted to focus on some minor, simple missions that didn't involve fire, explosions, or death, but that wasn't easy when her husband wriggled into her arms like a needy child.

"Doofus, I'm trying to read!"

"Can't a man love his wife?" Ray cooed, arms draped over her shoulders as she tried to shuffle along the corridor, which was much more difficult with the man-baby weighing her down.

He pawed at her tummy and arms, hoping to hold her tight and retain her warmth and happiness away from the world--and that wasn't easy with a cup of coffee in his hand. He needed the caffeine after such a...rigorous start, although he was confident that his precious girl would end up drinking most of it.

As much as he...vaguely liked the children, they could be so annoying, and that morning, like every other morning, he wanted her all to himself. Was that so bad? They never got a day off together and only recovered from last week's exhausting mission. Those little demons were knocking on his door again, banging on about learning. It was so overrated...

"The man has been doing that all morning," (y/n) sighed, subconsciously leaning into his affections since his lips felt so ticklish on her neck... Despite everything, she loved the attention, taking the hand off her hip to intertwine their fingers as they walked along.

"And I love you, my pretty wife..." He smiled, hunched over in what must've been an awkward position to walk since his chin was resting on her shoulder. They stopped, hovering in the closet as the kids' voices grew louder on the other side of the wall. It made the adults freeze, instinctively pulling away from what Schwoz would call the "smoochy-smoochy".

God, he was still embarrassed, walking around with red cheeks and wide eyes, avoiding the couple like the plague once they shouted back to him and left their bedroom. No one knew where he was now, making (y/n) and Ray wary of where the fuzzy weirdo would pop up next, which made the hero grumpy. If it weren't for him, they might have gotten that day in bed...

"I know, Raymond..." she replied softly, petting his head when he hugged her close, wanting the quiet, solitary moment to last forever. "I love you too."

"...You don't think they'll miss us for another half hour, do you?"

"Yes. Definitely. And if you come near me again, doofus, I won't be able to walk." He pushed his luck, drifting his touch down her back toward her butt, only for his wife to stop him.

As much as she liked the thought of that...she was tired. Aching. Slightly sore. It was nothing her super-regeneration couldn't handle. Still, they had things to do, so no matter how much Raymond pouted, she stood fast, chastely pecking his cheek when his fingers narrowly escaped skimming her ass. He'd have her beneath him all day if it were up to him, and that was more of a vacation thing, not a mid-week, school day thing.

"You know how to flatter a man, sweet girl," Ray grumbled, sighing but squishing her cheeks together as he captured her lips. True to his word and her request, he refrained from turning it dirty, humming appreciatively at her taste before pulling away to straighten her pretty uniform. Had he told her how gorgeous she looked that day?

"Mm-hmm. I know how to flatter you. Come on..." she giggled, taking his hand as her ears warmed under his soft, gooey-eyed stare, guiding him to the door.

With the file perched open in her hand, they entered the room, smiling brightly as they faced the bored, dejected children. At last, the teachers had arrived - a mere three hours late - and they headed for the lectern, acting like everything was perfectly normal, even as four sets of eyes scrutinised their every move.

They were scattered around the room, Mika fiddling with something, Chapa dozing at her desk, wearing a cowboy hat, Miles eating a snack, and Bose working through a box of doughnuts. They'd run out of things to do whilst waiting for the adults, having heard nothing more from Schwoz, save that they were busy and on their way. Whatever busy meant.

"All right, simmer down, everybody! Let's cut the chatter!" Ray told the kids firmly as he took the thick file from his wife's hand and dumped it on the podium, ready to read what juicy crimes they had today. He wanted to command the room and avoid awkward questions, but he only worsened things like usual.

"No one was talking..." Mika replied flatly, wondering what the guy was talking about--except for being high and mighty like normal. She looked up from the blaster she'd been inspecting and eyed the couple suspiciously, wondering why (y/n) looked so tired after a relatively quiet night. Few emergencies, no criminals, very little to do - what had they been doing?

"Yeah, man. No chatter to cut," her brother agreed, smirking slightly when (y/n) nudged her doofus, pouting and begging for a sip--or rather, gulp--of his coffee. And like the soft idiot he was, Ray gave it to her, acting like her thirst annoyed him, yet he brought the cup to her lips. What a simp...

"Hey, (y/n/n)...You get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Your hair's all weird..."

"Oh, she got out of bed this morning, only it was Ray's side!" Chapa hissed snidely to Miles, earning a few giggles around the room as they knew something of the truth. It didn't take a genius to work something out, and they gagged and groaned at the thought of their teachers doing snuggly, cuddly things in bed.

Their chuckles and rude toilet humour comments made the woman glare, dryly raising an eyebrow over her stolen coffee while subtly patting her hair. Perhaps it was a little frizzy, ruffled from being Ray's pillow princess, and the hero wouldn't have any slander. If those jokers really wanted to know, he liked seeing her like that...she looked so very naturally beautiful.

"Well..." he said sharply, speaking above whatever they found so funny when (y/n) returned a trickle of coffee. "I kinda had my heart set on telling you guys to cut the chatter, so... Can we come in again? And, maybe, hear some chatter?"

"I didn't realise we were here to meet your needs..." Miles retorted, slowly chewing his jammy doughnut and swirling the liquid in his polystyrene cup. He matched the man's glare, knowing he was fond of his wife, being the simp he was, but they were just poking fun... It wasn't their fault they'd landed themselves in a real-life rom-com.

"Well, guess what? You are," Ray told him, equally biting as (y/n) clung to his beefy arm. His uniform made him look so handsome; how did he look so...put-together?

"Then, we can do that!"

"Great. We'll come in again. Let's go, doofus!" She smiled at them before ushering her stubborn lover out of the room. As he sipped whatever coffee she left him, disappearing into the closet, the kids erupted into forced, vociferous chatter, talking loudly across the room as if they were more interested in their dealings than schoolwork.

Behind the door, the couple waited a few seconds, counting ten seconds specifically as Ray swept his wife into a breath-taking kiss. His free arm curled around her waist as he held the file close to his chest, although he'd rather it was her. Still, (y/n) stepped closer until their navels touched, seemingly starving for that bubblegum mint until they had to pull apart.

In another beat, they reentered the room, following a smooth rhythm as if they hadn't shared a secret tryst behind the wood, falling into the racket without another word. Although, maybe one final fleeting glance at each other.

"All right, calm down, everybody!"

"Let's cut the chatter!" (y/n) shouted with her doofus, unaware of his game's point. Still, he seemed satisfied now, sauntering back to the lectern with the faux exhaustion of an overworked teacher. But the kids didn't stop, suddenly lost in their conversations. They weren't mindless rabbles anymore but excited chats about whatever teens talk about.

"Hey! The doofus said to cut the chatter!" She told the kids, feeling her husband press himself against her back as he smiled gently. She was so hot when she took charge, commanding the classroom with such wit and intelligence...he was in awe.

"All right, M-D. What ya got for us today, Cap?" Bose asked, placing his feet on the desk as the children took their seats, simmering down to politely play attention like good students.

"What we got is a big, steamin' bowl a' crime chowder. So, grab your spoons--let's eat!" Ray grinned, particularly proud of his metaphor, especially when his sweet girl giggled and gave him one of her pretty smiles. He was such a dork, slamming the thick file down so he could read out the crimes; only Mika had been busy...

"I digitised all those papers for you and uploaded them to the smartboard," she told them as her friends barked like excited dogs, earning a pleasant grin from (y/n) when she turned and noticed all the information on the screen. Whilst it made their lesson plan redundant, she supposed it was easier, knowing everyone could see the details rather than them reading it out.

"Aw, thanks, Mika!"

"Oh, well...what am I supposed to do with these?" The hero asked with a pout, holding the stack up since the papers were now useless. He turned to his beloved wife, seeking her judgement since she was usually so wise in these situations, even if the solution was obvious - he just wanted an excuse to gaze into her eyes.

"Recycle them, doofus?" (y/n) suggested, removing a speck of non-existent dust from his uniform, fingertips trailing down his chest as she smirked. Ray broke into a huge grin, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles as he chuckled--like something was funny.

It made her frown, wondering what amused him so much when she was just trying to be helpful. He didn't like seeing such an ugly expression on her face, making him smooch harder, but he couldn't help it - such a silly suggestion.

"Absolutely not, darlin'! You're so cute..."

"Throw them away?" Bose proposed, still reclining as the man cooed over his wife. He liked that idea much more, lighting up the room with his pearly grin since that made much more sense. Just throwing them in the trash would require less effort, and everyone knew recycling was a myth.

"Better! 'Scuse me, sweet girl..."

"What?!" The heroine gasped, frowning deeply as her husband scooched past and dumped the stack of papers into the regular trash can, utterly ignoring the waste paper basket beside it. They fell with a hollow thump, much like (y/n)'s heart, as she sighed and shook her head, spotting Mika's similar reaction - those girls lived in a world of goldfish.

"Burn 'em?" And it only got worse with Chapa's suggestion, egging Ray on because who didn't like fire?

"Best!" Ignoring his wife's facepalm, he grinned as he pulled the laser remote from his belt and zapped the documents. Instantly, they burst into flames, the warmth and glow spreading through the room, bouncing off the walls rather cosily, and the girls supposed it could've been nice if it didn't fill the place with an ashy, burning smell.

"Seriously, doofus?" (y/n) sighed, watching the flames lick the air as Mika helpfully went to fetch her a fire extinguisher. The man perched himself on a small cabinet, taking her into his arms as he set her on his knee and pecked her cheek affectionately.

His grin was infectious, pulling at her lips as she stood between his parted knees, mirthfully shaking her head. He was an idiot, but he was her idiot, looking too damn handsome for his own good as the kids admired the flaming spectacle.

"Recycle them! You're so funny, sweet girl... I'm so glad I married you," Ray murmured, gaze flickering to her lips before finding them. They smiled into it, feeling the ghosts of their wedding rings on their fingers, where they would be under their gloves if they weren't in uniform.

Meanwhile, Mika found that fire extinguisher, unlocking the plastic housing on top as she brought it over to (y/n). Even if it broke apart their clinch, the blaze needed putting out, so she abruptly separated from her husband with an awkward cough.

Despite often losing herself around Ray, acting like a schoolgirl crushing on the hottest guy on the football team, she tried to refrain from jumping him whenever the kids were around, even if she wasn't always successful. So, as he plucked a pencil from behind his ear and bizarrely dropped it into the flames, she chastely pecked his forehead one last time before turning to her little helper.

"Okay, crime time..." Ray announced, clapping his hands and getting on with teaching once he lost his wife's warmth - the fire was no match. Mika returned to her seat once (y/n) had the extinguisher, watching as the man began his so-called lesson while she blasted the fire with the white smoke, smothering the flames.

"Somebody stole a garden gnome off some old lady's front yard..."

"Oh, come on, doof. We can do better than that..." (y/n) commented as she breezily hobbled past, thinking they were above dealing with petty crimes like teenage misdemeanours. They had to leave something for the cops to pick over.

"Let's see...somebody hit Scary Gary in the head with a garden gnome--Oh. Actually, those two might be related," Ray hummed, seeing some connection, but it still wasn't spicy enough to be worth their time, practically sending the kids off to sleep on their desks.

One quick squeeze later, (y/n) extinguished the fire, making a mental note to find a replacement trash can later since that one was all melted and smoky. She walked back to where they stored the thing, noticing how her husband's eyes slid down her spine when she brushed past him, obviously lingering where her skirt met her thighs.

"Get to the good crimes!" Chapa suddenly barked, snapping Ray out of his daydream of soft skin and thick flesh, remembering that he was teaching. Thank God for the podium...

"Okay, gimme a sec, gimme a sec..." Ray muttered sheepishly as (y/n) returned to his side, flicking through dozens of petty offences, some more tedious than others. "Somebody stole all the books from the Swellview Library. Pfffft!"

"STOLE BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY?!" Honestly, the couple didn't think it was such a big deal, heads jerking up in alarm when Mika abruptly pushed her chair back and slammed her palms on her desk, glaring menacingly.

If looks could kill, whoever made the mistake of nicking those books would be dead, even though they thought the kids wouldn't care. After all, kids don't read these days... But she wasn't the only one; terse looks penetrated the smartboard from all of them, including the kids they assumed wouldn't care. Mika, bless her, was a little nerdy compared to someone like Chapa...

"Someone's gonna fry tonight!" But even she was furious, looking slightly ridiculous in her black Stetson, fists sparking with scarlet electricity because she apparently cared about the library. Although, (y/n) would bet she'd never stepped in it once.

"Are you guys serious?" She asked, exchanging a confused glance with her husband when he paused over the next crime. It was almost laughable, swearing they were pulling their legs - Captain Man didn't read unless it was with his head in his sweet girl's lap as she dictated one of her romance novels whilst playing with his hair.

"Of course we are!"

"Libraries are a treasure trove of infinite knowledge!" The Macklin Twins replied in wonder-filled voices, more enchanted by a simple library than anyone would've ever thought. Mika was understandable, and Miles and Bose were perhaps a little far-fetched but interested in books, but Chapa? That was a surprise.

"And adventure!" Bose couldn't help but add, grinning cheekily as he mystically waved his hands. He wasn't bright, but there was a book for everyone - and he loved the picture ones.

"What?" Ray scoffed, glancing at all of them, but he didn't see anything to suggest a prank or elaborate joke.

"Stealing books from the library is not just a crime against one person," Mika explained, looking at the adults like it was apparent, a weird, determined grimace on her face. She wasn't just thinking about glorifying crimes; she saw the bigger picture, and so did her brother.

"It's a crime against the whole community!"

"And it will not stand!" Chapa bellowed, ripping the cowboy hat from her hand and slamming it down on her desk in a rage. By then, all the kids were on their feet, staring at their teachers, who still couldn't quite believe it. Were these the same kids who begged them to take them on incredible, exciting missions? The ones who were so eager for danger they caused a city-wide crime high?

"Okay, please tell us there's some sick turn coming," Ray said tentatively, barely able to focus on how his wife squished his bicep because he hated libraries. So dull and tacky. He preferred to defer those calls to his underlings, hopefully, the police, but they didn't laugh, call their bluffs, or shout sike! Their glares were steely and resolute, nails digging into palms at the thought of whichever scumbag stooped to stealing books.

"Only thing comin' is vengeance."

"And adventure!" At least Bose was cute, still caught up in his musings on adventure - a stark contrast to his friends' harshness.

"Because we love the library!" Miles insisted, almost teary-eyed at the thought of losing such a precious building. It was ridiculous to see him get so emotional, rowdily banging his fists in protest, and (y/n) saw that they were getting nowhere. She wasn't thrilled about it either, except maybe she'd pick up another cheesy novel, so she fluttered her eyelashes at her lover, knowing he'd need convincing.

"Well, doofus, the crime's already in our shopping cart. Let's just hit checkout," she sighed, pointing at the screen in what was supposed to be a fun, quirky way to get the kids engaged in choosing their missions. She thought it was cute, giving Ray her brightest smile, squeezing his huge arm, even if he returned a bored, joyless face.

"God, sweetheart, we're surrounded by nerds..." he groaned, but how could he refuse her when she looked so pretty? Glancing back down at his PearPad, he hit the library crime tab, pulling open a page about the brief information they'd received, and it still didn't sound fun. "All right, give me a second to read the details..."

"Okay, let's see... Okay, look! They didn't steal all the books. They left like ten copies of that one," the man pointed out when he saw the crime scene photo - a quick snapshot of one of the shelves, which still had a few novels propped up in the middle. He didn't see the fuss until one of the kids looked closer...

"Hey, what book is that?" Miles asked, squinting at the screen because he swore he'd seen it before. It looked so familiar, and it wasn't until Ray zoomed in that they all realised something tragic. Hilarious, but tragic--well, it was if you were its author.

"It is...Oh. My. God." Sitting there on the shelf, much to Ray's bitter disappointment, were ten copies of his book. His autobiography. Dozens of pages about his favourite subject. Himself. Thousands of words about Captain Man's life, hopes, and dreams, how he became a superhero, what he did in his free time, how he scored a beauty like Miss Danger, and it was all there for the citizens of Swellview to read. Because some philistine left it behind--probably on purpose.

All the colour drained from his face before a deep scrape poured back in, and he slammed the tablet on the lectern as his wife and students bit back chuckles. It was a bit funny - the irony of it all - but (y/n) tried not to show it, instantly smushing herself into his back as the hero stared at the humiliating insult, jaw clenched and eyes hard.

"Is that you on the cover?" Chapa asked, even though it was unmistakably Captain Man. He had the mask and everything, looking all smug with a stupidly long title since he could never stop bragging. Yeah, it was definitely his book.

"Yes."

"And they left it there?" Mika asked, too, trying to remain sympathetic and kind, but it was hard. The situation was funny, not that anyone could tell Ray that.

"Yes."

"All ten copies, doof?" (y/n) cringed, stroking his back to try and be comforting, but it didn't really help. Nothing could soften the blow of being so deeply insulted by some two-bit criminal, and Ray wasn't the type of man to take such abuse lying down. All he could do was stare at the floor and try not to cry in front of the kids, knowing they were already amused - they'd never let him forget the day a bad guy made him sob.

"Yes."

"They literally stole every book in the library except yours?" Miles sniggered, rubbing salt in the hero's wound. He was intentionally mean, seeing the irony more than he did. Still, it burned Ray's soul, making him want to bury his face in his wife's neck or hide under their bedsheets until a millennia had passed. Anything to avoid the shame.

"Someone's gonna fry tonight!" Ray snarled, his face screwed up in anguish and fury. No one, save his pretty girl, knew how hard he'd worked on that damn book - and literacy wasn't his strongest suit - angering him enough to make him want to squish something small. So, he did.

His fist came down on the plate of doughnuts from Miles and Bose's little picnic earlier, finding the squelch of the pastry under his hand deliciously satisfying. The brutal blow made it look like a pancake, squeezing the jammy filling out like some kind of sugary cannon, and unfortunately, Bose was its target.

A sticky, red blob hit him in the neck as Chapa cheered, ecstatic about gaining permission to electrify some no-good hooligans. Yet, she quickly frowned when her friend stumbled back. The jelly trickled down his uniform, clinging to his skin, but (y/n) barely reached for a tissue when the colour drained from his face--like he'd taken a fatal jam bullet to the torso.

"I'm hit!" He groaned before collapsing, playing every bit the wounded soldier as Chapa looked down on him in disgust, wondering what all the fuss was about.

"Relax, it's just--"

"This is the end for old Bosey..." the boy sniffled breathlessly like the wind had been knocked out of him, even as Mika and Miles gathered around his near-corpse, trying to soothe his grievances. "Confession time! I'm the one that stole that garden gnome."

"Well, Holmes, another case solved," (y/n) joked, smiling up at her husband with a dorky grin as Bose relaxed against the floor, going all floppy like he'd breathed his last.

Ray giggled with her, nuzzling their noses until he found her honeyed lips - an entirely inappropriate reaction for such a sombre moment - if the kid had croaked it. No matter how long he kept his eyes closed or how much his tongue lolled out of his mouth, he wasn't fooling anyone. Certainly not Chapa, who watched in utter disdain.

"Dude, you're fine. That's jelly," she retorted dryly, and miraculously, Bose's hand, stiff with rigor mortis, curled up to his neck to dab at the sticky substance. He licked his fingertips, lips twitching upwards when the pleasant sweetness caressed his tastebuds, and Bose decided death wasn't on his list so soon--not when the jam tasted so good.

"So it is! Raspberry, if I'm not mistaken!" He grinned, looking as vacant as ever as they all sighed.

Still, he wasn't as weird as the trash can, sitting quietly and innocently while it spontaneously bursting into flames without much warning. The fire came out of nowhere, spooking the group since (y/n) had definitely doused it with the gas. Weird - what kind of gag was that?

"Uh-oh! Hot can!" Ray remarked as he watched the bin smoulder, forcing his beloved wife to retrieve the extinguisher with a long, tired groan.

"That thing does not want to stay out!"

"This wouldn't have happened if you'd just recycled like a normal person, doofus," (y/n) grumbled as she lugged the metal cylinder across the room, fully intending on emptying the damn thing if it meant the fire would be put out. And, of course, as she worked, the others laughed, thinking it was hilarious that their trash can defied physics or whatever--since they didn't have to work to stop the place from burning down.

"We also wouldn't be laughing, darlin', so I mean..." Ray replied sassily, cackling with his fellow hyenas as the woman paused before the blaze, pondering her next move.

With one hand on her hip, she narrowed her eyes at her husband, knowing he wouldn't find it funny for long when she played her trump card. Her sharp glare made the children shrink back a little, more scared of her than they were of the idiot in the red and blue spandex, dampening their spirits as Ray batted his eyelashes.

He was an idiot, but at least he was a pretty idiot. An adorable idiot, worthy of an empty threat, as (y/n) smirked and jutted her hip out, never leaving his eye.

"You'll be laughing tonight while sleeping on the couch."

"No, sweet girl!" Now, that gave them something to laugh about.

~The Man's Nest~

Upstairs, the team had assembled to track down their prey now that they'd caught the scent.

They were looking for a scumbag who wasn't below stealing books from children, old people, and every other vulnerable person in the city, but that didn't really narrow it down. Who knows what lowlifes were lurking in the shadows?

The kids didn't really want to find out, looking to their teachers for guidance as they loitered around the room--or, in Bose and Miles' case, stretched together on the floor, foot-to-foot to really pull those lower back muscles. Luckily, though, whoever this jerk was, he'd made the mistake of forcing Captain Man's hand, making the man his enemy, and God, the guy was angry.

Not even (y/n) could soothe his temper, quietly observing his pissed-off pacing around the room as he imagined he would beat the crook's ass one hundred ways. No one messed with his book and got away with it, no one made him look like a fool, and no one, not even some smart Alec little bastard, stole all the romance novels before his precious wife got to read them all.

What would she do in the bath if she didn't have a book?

"All right! Who's ready to break some teeth?" He growled as he twirled a rope-like weapon in his hand, threatening to whack someone's eye out if he wasn't careful.

"Always!" Chapa replied immediately, squirming eagerly on the couch because that sounded like her type of fun, and it wasn't often she was allowed to truly release some anger on the criminals, no matter how scummy they were. Something about morals--whatever (y/n) thought they were.

"Ready in a bit!"

"Just gotta do a little stretching first!" Miles and Bose added, still in their shared teddy bear pose as they leaned forwards and backwards, enjoyed how their spines cracked and relaxed with each gentle stretch. Still, it made their teacher impatient, sticking out his bottom lip and practically stamping his foot as they remained on the floor instead of following orders.

"But I want to break teeth now!"

"We don't even know whose teeth to break yet," Mika argued from her seat at the mini-supercomputer, flicking between PearPads as she researched who it could be. Still, there were a lot of bad guys in Swellview. It could've been any of them, and she didn't know where to start.

On the other hand, Ray was particularly smug, stomping over to her with his arm roughly thrown around (y/n) 's neck, presenting her to the girl with a proud smirk--and not just because he got to marry her and she didn't.

"Wrong! I just uploaded a list of the most likely suspects. Tell her, sweet girl!"

"Um, Mika, if you'd just..." (y/n) smiled awkwardly as her doofus nudged her encouragingly, if a little impatiently. As he crowded her, seeking affection, the girl humoured her, tapping the screens a little until she found the list the mad had made.

It was long--really long, and not very specific, including names ranging from the big baddies like The Toddler and Doctor Minyak to those not even worth their time like Jeff or Mr Nice Guy. Hell, even Chapa was there for some reason, much to the heroine's frustration. This was why she didn't let her husband write the shopping list--he'd come home with God knows what.

"Doofus, this is literally every criminal in Swellview." She frowned, squinting at the list and gulping at the thought of roaming the city to find them all. Surely, the books were above The Toddler's usual crime habits. Yet, Ray just looked pleased with himself, squeezing her in his embrace since he knew how much she loved his updated uniform and how much bigger it made him feel.

"Yeah! Plus, a couple of people I just don't like."

"They're scattered all over town! It's going to take us ages to get through them all," she added, giving him a sceptical glance, but he just shrugged.

"Well, we better get going. We got a long night ahead of us, and I want to be back here, watching a movie on the couch with my wife by two. Hope you're wearing your teeth-breaking pants!" The hero growled, taking his pretty girl by the hand and turning toward the door, hoping to burn through the list so they could enjoy a quiet night together—fat chance.

"One of those dots is me!" Chapa called out, standing up when she read her name on the screen. Her face contorted in anger and offence, knowing that her boss had counted her amongst the scum - robbers, criminals, those he didn't like. But honestly, Ray wasn't ashamed, not even when (y/n) quirked her eyebrow at him in a mini-glare.

"Well, where were you last night? Huh?" He asked accusingly, snarling at the girl as he doubled back and marched up to her. "Out stealing every book in Swellview except mine?!"

"Calm down, doofus..." (y/n) soothed him, wincing slightly when his relatively calm tone turned cruel and sharp. She knew he was upset, but she wouldn't let him be nasty, noticing how a pang of hurt passed Chapa's face, utterly disgusted at such an accusation.

"I don't steal books! I'm not a monster!" She bit back, folding her arms and staring at him from the couch. He wasn't a harsh man by any means - his wife would vouch for his deeply ingrained kindness - but his tendency for rudeness genuinely wounded the girl. Did people really see her as someone who'd stoop so low?

"We'll see..." the man muttered, admitting defeat for now as he turned his back on her, petting his wife's head like she were a cat. They slunk away, Ray content to let his lover fuss over him since she was so good at distracting him, and that allowed the kids to think with interruption.

"I got a better way to find the criminal," Mika said, eyeing the couple as her friend pecked her husband's nose, bringing a sickly saccharine smile to his face - so adorable, it was almost disgusting.

"Better than spending six to eight days walking all over town, collecting criminal teeth to get that sweet, sweet coin from the Tooth Fairy until we randomly happen upon some random criminal that admits to stealing the books? I'd like to hear it!"

"You've got to stop watching those True Crime shows, Ray..." The heroine shook her head, knowing he was getting carried away again and letting his inner child run rampant. Still, Mika brushed over it--in the right while he was in the wrong as always.

"Well, you know that place, The Beatin' Dungeon?" She questioned smugly, and the couple instantly had flashbacks to happier times.

It was months ago, making (y/n) smile at the thought of her last family reunion and how her then fiancé--which was so weird to think about--nearly worried himself sick without her in his arms. It was so bad that he needed a pick-me-up, growing bored with his day-in, day-out fights against the same-old criminals, so he signed up to fight some loser. He never thought he'd find common ground with The Toddler, but it was almost magical - Henry Hart's work, of course.

Just thinking about the kid made their smiles sour, and the woman made a mental note to try and call the kid whenever she had a free minute--just to see how her babies were doing. God, she missed them, sharing a brief, teary glance with her soulmate, and she knew he was thinking the same. Happy times...

"I barely know where I am right now..." Bose replied honestly, not jokingly, bringing them back to reality, and four new kids needed guidance. They had a job and quickly moved on from memory lane as the boys stopped stretching and got on their feet.

"The Beatin' Dungeon is this place where villains and heroes get together to fight each other for fun," (y/n) explained, leaving out the bits where her doofus failed to secure a decent opponent despite being Captain Man. It wasn't her style, a little crude and brutish to brawl for fun, but others thought differently...

"Sweat! When do we go?" Chapa asked excitedly, hopping off the couch with an eager readiness to start breaking faces; a fight club was precisely her idea of fun.

"Tomorrow night. It's Villains Only Night," Mika replied, giving the girl a confident smirk after researching the supercomputer, unlike Ray, who was all action and had no brains in her eyes. Yet, the man wasn't entirely clueless, rolling his eyes and scoffing when he heard her glorious master plan.

"So?"

"So, we get Schwoz to make up some bad guys costumes..." Miles supposed, seeing what his sister had planned, although they'd need to find the genius in whatever hole he crawled into. He was still strangely mortified for some reason...

"We head down The Beatin' Dungeon..."

"And adopt a rescue dog that we bring home and say, in a way, he rescued us!" Bose finished, happily concluding his friends' scheme, although he'd gotten a little lost. They all looked at him with tired, if slightly bemused, expressions, wondering how they could be angry at those dimples, even if he were such hard work. Still, though, (y/n) perked up at the news of a puppy...

"So close..."

"Was he?" Miles murmured to Chapa as they both cringed, clueless about what went through that boy's head. Surely, it had to be filled with cotton wool; grimacing at his simpleness as Mika awkwardly carried on.

"Or...we hang out and see if any criminals are bragging about stealing books from the library," the girl suggested, glancing at Ray and (y/n) for permission, and whilst the man looked slightly bitter for not thinking of something so clever, his sweet girl grinned and nodded.

"Sounds good to me!" The woman exclaimed as Miles and Chapa agreed, keen to go somewhere dark and dangerous--to mingle amongst the criminal throngs and intercept their enemy in his den. They loved the thrill of it, especially if it meant wearing a weird costume.

"Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some Captain in it!" But Ray had other ideas, sticking his cheesy grin in the mix, even if it made the kids' faces fall.

"I don't know what that means..."

"Me neither." Mika and Chapa remarked dryly, giving the hero a confused look as he swaggered like a testosterone-fulled peacock. Instead, they looked at (y/n), hoping she'd translate whatever he was saying since she spent every waking minute with him--loved him, even his...more annoying parts.

"He thinks he has an idea..." she told them, hovering by her husband and squishing his beefy arm, curling around her waist and bringing her flush against him. Something about him looked extra handsome from that angle - perhaps extra tall, broad, or rugged, looking down at her gently before giving the kids a stern gaze.

"Also, about that puppy..." She fluttered her eyelashes and raked a palm down his chiselled chest, using all her tricks to try and persuade him that Bose might be onto something there. She'd always been a sucker for cute puppies, even though they were perfectly content with Colin the rabbit.

"We're not getting a dog, sweet girl," Ray told her firmly but kindly, following up with a sweet kiss on her pouting, honeyed lips. He wanted to give her the world, but that sounded like hell, cleaning up after another animal with all the younglings crawling all over their home. It broke his heart to say no, but (y/n) didn't take it personally, satisfied with the kiss for now, even when he pulled away.

"Aw..."

"It means..." Ray said to Danger Force as he tried to move on, stumbling slightly when his wife reached onto his tiptoes and planted a clumsy smooch on the stretched expanse of his neck. He gulped, shivering at the ticklish sensation as Chapa and the boys grimaced, with only Mika thinking their affection was mildly romantic as the heroine pulled away with a besotted expression.

"It means it's up to me to point out that nobody ever goes to Villains Only Night. Check out their Fakebook page," he told them, tapping on the PearPads before finding a sad, lonely social media account with little to no followers or traffic. It was just saddos on bar stools, drinking their sorrows away as they waited for something fun to happen, not that it ever did.

And was that The Lawn Ranger Ray saw? God, seeing that weirdo again sent shivers down his spine from the mere thought of his loser aura.

"I thought of that, and I have a solution!" But Mika had it covered, grinning at the sceptical hero as his arms shook around his sweet girl with smug laughter. There was no way...

"Pfft! A better solution than spending six to eight days walking all over town, collecting criminal--"

"Yes, doofus! We're not going through that again," (y/n) interrupted, clamping her palm over his mouth so he couldn't repeat his rant. His lips pursed against her, pecking her sensitive skin, making her giggle, but at least he shut up, going limp and soft in her arms because who was he to talk back to his beloved wife?

"We just have to offer something else that everyone loves," Mika said like it was simple, and even Ray couldn't agree with that.

"Like face painting!" And for once, Bose was helpful, and no one could say they saw something wrong with the lighthearted, childish, and harmless. Even villains loved the face painting, so the girl quickly typed it into the Fakebook page, advertising the new activity for all to see. Meanwhile, Chapa and Miles rambled about their favourite designs, something about cute squiggles on their eyes and cheeks.

"Wait a minute--that's not gonna work!" Ray remarked as he embraced his wife, but the replies flooded in when Mika sent the post. Dozens of criminals, villains, and general scumbags instantly commented their support, pledging they'd attend Villains Only Night for the face painting - the most brilliant idea yet.

"It seems like it's working, doof..." (y/n) whispered to her lover, giving him a soft smile since he'd been proven wrong - his worst nightmare. Still, he wasn't a sore loser...too much.

"Fine! But where are you gonna find somebody to paint faces, huh? For free!?" He asked, sneering at Mika since he didn't want to fork out for such a simple mission, not when he could spend that money on something much more deserving, like his wife.

But Miles had other ideas. Getting to his feet, the boy threw his head back, inhaling deeply before he released an ear-shattering bellow--loud enough to make everyone jump, and the walls felt like they were shaking.

"SCHWOZZZZZ!" He screeched to the heavens, and low and behold, the fuzzy little coconut appeared. He'd been hiding in an alcove in the ceiling, strapped snuggly in a harness so he could read Ray's beloved book in peace without any more incidents. God, it was still burned into his eyelids, a faint blush dusted over his cheeks as he descended from whichever nook or cranny he'd been avoiding his boss in.

"Yes?"

"AHH!" Everyone jumped, yelping when he dropped down out of nowhere like a goddamn bat, making (y/n) cower into her doofus' arms as he frowned. So, that's where the little weirdo had hurried off, licking his wounds because he couldn't knock.

"Can you paint faces?" Miles asked calmly, despite how rapidly his heart pounded.

"Yes." Schwoz nodded - one of his many hidden skills, although he wasn't sure why the boy wanted to know. He'd had enough shenanigans for one day.

"For free?" Mika questioned further, smiling brightly at the genius, even though she wasn't sure why he wouldn't look in her direction. He wouldn't even glance toward Ray and (y/n), knowing he'd turn a deep red if he made eye contact, so he stared straight ahead, at one of the kids, or at the propped-open novel in his hand.

"Yes."

"We need you to go to The Beatin' Dungeon tomorrow night," Chapa instructed him, and the guy readily agreed, hoping to get back to his book. It wasn't like he had much else to do. God knows he didn't fancy wandering the Man's Nest halls again after what happened a few hours earlier, so he nodded casually. Sometimes, it was just nice to be part of something, and painting faces sounded fun.

"Ho-kay!" He smiled before tapping a remote control in his pocket and rising into the rocky crannies above their heads to read in peace. It was like he couldn't wait to leave...and why did he look so pink?

"You gotta make us some bad guy costumes, Schwozie!--Please!" (y/n) added, calling after him despite how awkward it made her feel. Ray had no shame, smirking at how shy his nosy handyman was when he openly nuzzled his wife's hair, but at least she had the decency to use her manners. If he was embarrassed, she was mortified, remembering how he must've gotten the full show for ten seconds before they realised what was happening. It made her face feel like lava...

"Ho-kay..." his meek response shouted back, burying his burning nose into the pages of Ray's early career before those horrifically vivid memories returned.

"And you gotta let us adopt a dog!" Bose shouted, nudging (y/n) as she giggled and nodded enthusiastically, much to her husband's exasperation. Two against one was hardly fair...

"No-kay!"

"Fine! But if I steal another garden gnome to fill the void inside me, it's your fault!" The boy snapped harshly before whipping around and storming out of the Nest--throwing an utter tantrum, much to his friends' confusion.

Well, at least Schwoz was on his side, even if he'd spent the morning burning bed sheets and scrubbing the walls, floors, tables, and chairs. Who knows what had been defiled? He certainly didn't want to think about it.

~The next day~

Sometime later, Schowz had forgotten about his blushes. Of course, he'd never forget the embarrassment, avoiding eye contact as he dashed around the room, but he had a job. He couldn't prepare their covert mission if his eyes were on the floor, so he soon jumped to it, fiddling with God knows what as the kids ran riot around the room.

They were bored, numbingly so, almost bored to tears by the time he was nearly ready, prodding and poking (y/n) as she patiently waited for their disguises to be finished. Schwoz's unique gumballs took time, but finally, they were ready, making Miles bound up to Bose as the long-haired boy relaxed in the chair near his mini locker.

"Bose! Get over here! Schwoz is giving us our bad guy costumes!"

"Swet! We bad guys now?" He asked, quickly standing up and following his friend as he tossed his headphones into Chapa's chair since he didn't need them anymore.

The girls gathered around, too, having sat around the couch table, nattering about this and that--mainly gossiping about what Ray was like behind closed doors. Even the surly girl couldn't help but lean in close when Mika asked if he was a sweetheart. However, she regretted her choice when the heroine gushed about her ever-loving husband and all the beautiful things he did for her - supposedly.

"No, we're still good. We just need to look all mean and evil," (y/n) explained, petting the boy as he smiled pleasantly, looking slightly confused. As if they'd ever stoop so low...the thought of all those dark and angsty clothes and rude attitudes made her nose wrinkle.

"So, we can go undercover to Villains Only Night at the Beatin' Dungeon..."

"And find whoever stole those books from the library," Mika and Chapa explained, even though they'd run through this fifty times. It was like he never learned or didn't listen, or perhaps he was just a bit slow.

"Okay, cool! I just came up with a great bad guy persona for myself..." Bose noted as Schwoz slowly came over with a tray of five glowing gumballs, all coded with whatever outfit he'd assigned for them. It had taken him hours to perfect his craft; the kid's suggestion was late and awkward. "I want to be...Bad Bose!"

"That's definitely bad, but not in the way you're thinking," Mika retorted, trying to spare his feelings, even as they chuckled at the terrible name. It made him happy - Schwoz, on the other hand...

"Oh, I'm not thinking at all. That's my secret..."

"It took me all night to make these bad guy gumballs, so the rule is you get what you get, and you don't get upset," the genius told them, barely glancing at the woman, but he stared at the children. They were more likely to complain since (y/n) didn't have a single argumentative bone in her body, not after he'd seen more of it than he ever wanted to.

Danger Force argued otherwise, building up their expectations for their big night, and their costumes had to be good. If Schwoz had given them something awful, he'd hear about it.

"No frowny-making, no head-shaking, no bellyaching, no offence-taking. You just chew and blow, and off you go!" He said curtly, hoping to get some peace and quiet whilst they were out - a chance to get the trauma he'd witnessed out of his head. He strolled along the lineup, handing each superhero a gumball with their assigned persona, and they all peered at the funky candy suspiciously. Would they really be satisfied with what he'd chosen?

There was only one way to find out: swallowing the gumball and chewing quickly before blowing their bubbles. Much like when they transformed into their super-suits, the costumes materialised them, ranging from creepy to cool to downright weird. Everything was dark, sharp, and dangerous, with thick makeup and crazy wigs shielding their identities whilst giving that criminal aesthetic. They definitely looked like criminals - it was almost scary.

"Nice..."

"What have you done to me?!"

"Love this!"

"I look so angsty..." There were mixed responses, with Chapa and Bose loving their new looks, while (y/n), Chapa, and Miles weren't so impressed. They walked the path of righteousness, and looking so evil wasn't their style, especially when the boy's outfit looked so...kooky. Like some kind of psycho hillbilly, Miles looked ridiculous in a bright red shirt and overalls with a silly little brown cowboy hat and, worse, a long, frizzy, coarse beard, which was so long it went down to his knees like a hairy waterfall.

"You are Weird Beard...because your beard is weeeeeeeeird," Schwoz giggled to himself, tugging on Miles' thick, glued-on facial hair, much to the boy's annoyance, especially when he heard the mockery. It tickled his face and pulled on his skin, not to mention how it caught between his legs and nearly made him trip, so indeed, he could've come up with something better than that.

"Dah-dah-dah--what did I say?" But he couldn't complain when Schwoz shook his finger in his face, angered by how he threw his head back and groaned loudly.

"I mean, I love it," Miles replied dryly, looking less than in love with his costume, but what could he do? He'd just have to look like some hick in his country-style clothes and ignore how much he hated the weird, irritating beard.

"Good!" Schwoz smiled before moving on to Mika, who looked particularly frantic with her hideously malicious-looking costume.

(y/n) had never seen her in something so dark and creepy, what with her all-black, all-denim jeans and jacket covered in strategically placed barbed wire. It wrapped around her legs and looped around her waist before crossing her chest in an intricately dangerous design that would scratch anyone who came too close. It even snaked into her hair - a tall, crazy wig that stretched to the ceiling, thanks to three cans of hairspray.

Her makeup consisted of smoky eyeshadow, black lipstick, and delicately painted tattoos, spooking everyone who saw her, including herself, and she freaked at the thought of being so...mean.

"Why is mine so scary?!" She asked Schwoz in a panicked voice, feeling miles away from her usual bright, cheery, approachable attire.

"Because you're a villain--The Mangler!" He told her like it was obvious, having said that they needed to look scary, so he made her look terrifying. Honestly, some people were so ungrateful...

"I know, but does it have to be this scary? What if I was something like...The Pretty Bad Pony?! Or just...The Pretty Pony?--" She rambled, praying for something pink, glittery, and girlish, but Schwoz ignored her. He brushed past without another word, leaving her disguise as it was since she was meant to look devilish, not like a My Little Pony.

"You're The Mangler! This is your mangling stick..." he told her firmly before passing over a disgusting-looking lump of wood. It was like a snatched plank of wood, so splintery and rotten that he needed to wrap a bandage around the end to protect her soft little hands. That and the other end was riddled with rusty nails and more barbed wire, which would undoubtedly give anyone tetanus if they were scratched or pierced by the macabre shards of metal.

"Is this dried blood?" Mika gulped as she inspected her signature weapon, only to feel the sticky, smelly substance smeared on her fingertips, and she knew blood when she saw it. Where and what had he been doing with it?

"Yes, it will dry eventually." The thought could make her vomit, but he quickly smiled at Chapa, who didn't look too different in her terrifying clothing.

"You are El Stabador..." he explained, gesturing to her black jacket and breeches, which looked like an emo matador costume with brassy buttons and smart, patent leather shoes. But there were metal spikes on her shoulders, half a demonic skull face painted on her face, and her hair had been styled and sprayed into a spiky quiff. So, coupled with her usual terrifying scowl, she looked terrifying, much to her delight since everyone always insisted on looking so cute and cuddly.

"¡Claro que sí! Y mi destino es--" She grinned, calling upon her inner Latina since these were the clothes of her ancestors, not that Schwoz gave two shits. He quickly looked at Bose, who had to be the strangest out of the kids, wearing something that could've only come from the genius' diseased imagination.

"And you are a Yerban Santa Claus, who takes to us from kids, then punches them," he described to the overjoyed boy, who loved his freaky getup.

He got to wear a thick, furry suit that made him look like half-man, half-bear, except for his wild, bushy wig, which protruded two curled horns. His face looked hideous, changed into a horrifying snarl, thanks to thick white face paint, arched eyebrows, and a prosthetic nose. No one could ever see through the disguise, and he even freaked (y/n) out a little bit as she hovered beside him.

"I can do that. Do I get a bloody stick?"

"Yes!" Mika nodded quickly, instantly offering him her mangling stick before it made her sick, and it nearly took off Bose's fake nose as she waved it under his chin.

"Watch where you wave that thing, guys..." (y/n) remarked as she jumped back, scared to take a nail to the eye as Bose twirled it through the air like a magic wand; only she'd need more than witchcraft to patch up whatever damage that thing did. Her costume was cute yet creepy, a subtle order from Ray since he didn't want his sweet girl to be too far out of her comfort zone, so Schowz had gone down a classic horror movie route.

"(y/n), tonight, you will be Doll Face..." Schwoz told her without meeting her eye, a faint blush dusted on his cheeks as (y/n) clutched a morbidly gory teddy bear dotted with blood and gouged slightly to look extra scary. It was like something from a slasher film, and she felt like another person as her palms sweated in her black gloves.

But that was her whole aesthetic as a frighteningly creepy little girl, clad in her gothic, lolita dress, knee-high mesh stockings, heeled boots, and a black wig, plaited into two braids that hung beside her drawn, gaunt face. Her lips were painted a deep red, and there was a teardrop and a heart stained on her skin for a toy-like effect, completing her possessed dolly appearance.

"Hopefully, never again..." she muttered as she smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in her skirt, ignoring how Schowz skedaddled away before he could look at her too much, cheeks flaming with mortification. God, he needed to get over himself; what did he think married couples did when they had a few hours to themselves?

"Okay, time to head to The Beatin' Dungeon..."

"Hang on, we're missing our resident doofus." (y/n) stopped everyone before the genius could shove them out of the door because, as much as everyone thought he was an idiot, she knew his strength and experience would be invaluable as they entered enemy territory. And, speaking of the devil...

A loud, shrill, cawing sound came from the hallway across the room, seeming like a bird with a sore throat was trapped behind the steel door. Of course, it was just Ray, who was over the moon with how ridiculous and bizarre his specially designed disguise was.

He'd made it himself, but that didn't come as a surprise as the door slowly ascended to reveal his...bird costume. Like some kind of feathered Batman, he had a thick, dark hood over his head, which cast a shadow over his masked face since he didn't want to risk anyone recognising him. His nose was made to look like a hooked beak, matching the long, greyish-black feathers stitched onto his sleeves to give him a bird-like appearance. Well, a bird wearing a brown waistcoat and slacks, that is.

"Oh...I forgot about Ray," Schwoz grumbled as the man dramatically revealed himself, much to (y/n)'s, even though she didn't like how creepy everyone looked. She skipped over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders, uncaring of his need for dramatic flare since it had been a whole hour since they'd rolled out of bed, and that was the last she saw him.

But, as much as she wanted to embrace him, hold him close, and kiss him, Ray was a little too into his new role.

"Ray no longer exists. He's been re-hatched...as Hawkfist!" He growled in a throaty voice, looking effortlessly cool and mysterious with his makeup and hood, but his name, attitude, and vibe...they were tragic. And (y/n) pouted as he boldly stood before her, brushing away her arms when she went for a hug so that he could pose and scowl like some wronged vigilante with a tragic backstory.

"Doofus!" She complained, looking petulant in her childlike attire as she stamped her booted foot and crossed her arms to the backtrack of his shrill caw-caw! He was so busy trying to convince everyone that his outfit was cool that he didn't think twice about his beloved wife, not even as she pursed her lips and frowned, scuffing her heel against the ground.

"Hatched? So...you were once an egg?" Miles questioned flatly as the children stood there with Schwoz, unimpressed and unresponsive, save that they felt a little sorry for (y/n) as she pouted, jilted and lonely.

"I guess," Ray replied, having not really thought anything through except he wanted to be mysterious and foreboding.

"And if you're re-hatched...that means you hatched twice?" Chapa added with a slight smirk when she realised how stupid his character was and how he stumbled when they pointed it out. There was no arguing with him, but God, he was so easy to wind up.

"If that's what I said, then yes," the hero sniffed, trying to stay calm under pressure, but they kept going.

"Do hawks even have fists?" Mika asked, folding her arms as she ridiculed him without mercy--anything to make him antsy since he upset her friend when all she wanted was a little affection. Perhaps that was petty, but that outfit was awful, clearly something from his mind and not Schwoz's.

"This one does."

"So, who were your parents?" Bose furthered, prompting the hero to become properly annoyed with their incessant questioning when he really didn't know the answer.

"I don't know! A hawk and a fist--why don't you guys shut up?!" He growled defensively, hands still clenched by his face, although he didn't feel as epic now. If anything, he regretted his costume choice, wishing he'd gone with something that made more sense, but it was too late - the mockery didn't stop.

"Because we have a lot of questions about...this," Miles retorted, vaguely gesturing to all of him--the entire weird ensemble.

"There's no time. To The Beatin' Dungeon! Caw-caw!" Ray declared, desperate to avoid the awkward situation as he clawed the air and shrieked that awful shriek.

It was loud enough to deafen everyone as he flapped toward his sweet girl, suddenly overcome with the need to hold her in his arms after an hour apart. He'd had his moment of glory, and now, he focused on her, beak-like face turning into a smile as he went to embrace her and find those honeyed lips. Yet, to his surprise and almost disgust, when his hands found her hips, she pushed them away and stubbornly stuck her nose in the air. It was a shock to all who watched, not just the baffled hero.

"Sweet girl? I wanna kiss..." he mumbled, leaning in again with hooded eyes and a voracious hunger, but (y/n) was in the mood to play. Even if it was slightly childish, she wanted to teach him a lesson for leaving her hanging, no matter how much she craved his lips against hers.

"Sorry, Hawkfist, but I only kiss my husband," she replied firmly, but there was a hint of teasing behind her tone. His face fell in disappointment and confusion, which slightly tugged on her heartstrings, but she stood fast, even when those big, warm hands rubbed her hips suggestively.

"But that's me...we got married." Ray pouted, hugging his beloved wife closer as he reflected on his life's best, most precious day. He waited years to make her his, so to be denied what his heart truly desired was devastating.

"You said Ray no longer exists. I suppose that makes me a widow, right?"

"Never." His reply was instantaneous and absolute, his grip tightening on her skin as his brow furrowed. He'd never leave her, and he wrinkled his nose at how she so obviously teased him, looping her arms around his shoulders and grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Of course, their wedding rings would still sparkle if they wore them under their costumes, and he hated how everyone poked fun at his choice.

"I'll kiss my doofus," (y/n) declared, withholding her lips when he tried to lean in again by using her fingers as a barrier. He kissed her palm instead, making her tummy tingle, and the children rolled their eyes at how disgustingly affectionate they were. She was adamant that she'd kiss the man she married, her beloved Ray, especially when he did that silly voice.

"That's me."

"He doesn't speak like that. Do you need a lozenge or something?" She retorted upon hearing his husky, Hawkfist tone, thinking it sounded like he had a sore throat, even if the slight possessive note made her gulp. She loved whenever those baritone notes of his hit her ears, how he teased her, and how he whispered such loving words, none of which was the same if he kept playing the role.

"I want a kiss, sweet girl..." the hero demanded sternly, now craving her honey more than ever, although it still eluded him that he'd unknowingly ignored her first advances. He wasn't a patient man, but (y/n)? She had all the time in the world.

"And I want my husband, so I guess we're at a stalemate."

"Guess so..." He shrugged, settling for a mere peck on the forehead when she flat-out refused, giving a steadfastly stubborn and challenging look as he gazed down at her. Still, he noticed how her eyes fluttered shut when his lips met her skin, and that was enough to tell him of her love and how this was just a game. Perhaps it would make everything sweeter in the end, but nothing was more precious than her...

"You'll want one soon, though, pretty girl. Caw-caw!" With one final shrill - since he couldn't get what he wanted most - Ray took off with a slight pout, skipping and flapping his wings as he headed to the door. It was pretty comical to watch, given that he was a grown man prancing around like a child. Yet, when he ran toward the mountainside without slowing down, it was painfully obvious what the doofus planned to do.

"Wait, Ray, you can't fly, you big doofus!" His beloved wife cried after him, and it delayed him a little. She was the only one he'd ever wait for, but even so, in his pouty, doofy state, Ray didn't have his thinking hat on.

"Ray can't--but Hawkfist can! Caw-caw!" He growled determinedly, keen to show them his costume's brilliance, but it couldn't work miracles. For all his talents and prowess, not even Captain Man could sport wings and fly, not even to impress his sweet girl.

"Raymond! That's the mountain! Don't be a doofus all your li--oh my god!" She yelled, yet it was too late. Ray was too far gone, leaping through the doors without a second thought for safety or his friends' advice. No, it was a great idea...until his indestructible, if squishy, body took the first blow on the steep, craggy rock face.

The first cries of pain reached their ears, and it was more than (y/n) could bear, forcing herself to hide her face in Schwoz's shoulder.

Damn, their embarrassment; she hated the thought of her doofus rolling down the mountain like a bouncy ball, no matter his indestructibility. He smelled like engine oil and paint - like every handyman she'd ever met - and it was oddly comforting, especially when he kindly wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders. Chapa found it hilarious, struggling to smother her giggles in front of her friend, but (y/n) only heard her lover and his anguished cries.

Remind her never to withhold his kisses again, although she'd definitely kiss his boo-boos better. Anything for her doofus.

~The Beatin' Dungeon~

This place never changes...

(y/n) thought to herself as she immersed herself in the dark, dirty, dangerous converted warehouse that was The Beatin' Dungeon. It had everything a villain could want: spare rooms for evil rendezvouses, a grungy, rundown bar, plenty of fighting gear, and enough space for criminal misdeeds.

They could whisper and plot anything in the shadows without worrying about the cops infiltrating the premises. No one got past the guards at the front door, who scrupulously turned away anyone they deemed a goody-two-shoes. No superheroes would pass the threshold on their watch, allowing their villainous colleagues to gather in their swarms on the inside. That is, if six supers didn't sneak in...

God, she remembered everything about The Beatin' Dungeon as she stuck to Ray's--or Hawkfist--side, dodging every mean, ugly mug that glared her way when they navigated through the swathes of people. She barely liked parties as it was, but this was way beyond her depth - pretending to be evil, enjoying it even, but he commanded their chitchat effortlessly.

Ray was a natural, probing and interrogating every asshole who dared to get in his path as the children followed his lead. With a hand on the small of his wife's back, the hooded hero and Doll Face mingled politely, trying to dig deeper whilst keeping an eye on Danger Force. There were three very simple rules: don't hit the bar, don't get caught, and don't die. (y/n) didn't think that was much to ask as she briefly hugged each kid and sent them off, stressing to her doofus that it was like sending lambs to the slaughter--into the lion's den.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, look, that woman's looking at Chapa funny--I should go over there and knock her out--You know what? I'mma knock her out--"

"Sweet girl..." A calm, reassuring voice broke the heroine out of her ramble, and she glanced up to see her husband giving her a warm gaze. It didn't look right with his sharp makeup and dark hood, but those crystal blue eyes looked the same, looking at her with so much love as he called out and stroked his hand up and down her lower back.

"Everything's fine. Just stay cool...and don't use our real names."

"Right, sorry...but are you sure? El Stabador--" (y/n) bit her lip, trying not to let the place's stench throw her guts up, but her worry sorted that. The girl stood next to a particularly cruel-looking woman near some barstools, much further away than Miles across the room or Bose, who hovered near his teachers. Boy, she didn't look happy when Chapa accidentally nudged her elbow, thus slipping some of her drink.

"She's fine, darlin'. If any of the kids can handle themselves, it's her," Ray told her with a chuckle, noticing how the girl didn't even look bothered, giving the villainess such an intense glare that she looked away all sheepish.

He knew he wasn't supposed to be too affectionate in public like this; after all, no one knew Hawkfist and Doll Face were married, and he didn't want any connections made, just in case. But it was damn tricky pretending to not be in love with her, especially when she worried in that pretty little head of hers. It was in her nature, yet even he couldn't help but keep four eyes on each child in a hole such as this, peering over a buffet table as his wards chatted with the scum he fought to keep behind bars.

"True..." The woman nodded, pinching a tortilla chip from the table to nibble on as Ray and Bose exchanged a subtle glance to check in on each other.

They nodded slightly, not wanting to get caught knowing the other, but Villains Only Night had been a dud. No one was particularly interesting, and there was only so much face-painting the man could sit through.

"You guys look weird!" (y/n) hissed when they nodded slightly too much, looking too manic, even for a villain's gathering.

"Stop it!" Ray ordered Bose sharply, ignoring the weird kid by storming off with his beloved wife in tow. he was too stupid to cause too much damage, and knowing Bose, he'd blow their cover, so they sought refuge in another corner, passing Chapa on their way.

There were a few familiar faces here and there, some they'd faced in the past, but primarily the criminals they'd fought with Kid Danger when they last visited. None would be glad to learn that Captain Man and Miss Danger had brought their little protégés to the party, not when they clearly weren't invited, so they kept their eyes low and pretended to flirt like enamoured strangers.

"Hello? Hi! Can I have everyone's attention, please?" A loud yet pleasant voice yelled above the room's buzz, belonging to a smiling man standing on a stool. He looked nice enough, beaming at his villainous friends in a bloodstained white apron and cap, looking almost friendly, but (y/n) knew better.

He was The Butcher, and for all his niceties, he held some dark, disturbing secrets.

"For those of you that don't know, I am The Butcher, and I just want to give everybody a big thank you for attending Villains Only Night!" He announced to rapturous applause, although someone was a little trigger-happy. No sooner than he'd finished speaking, a fire-propelled axe whizzed past his face, narrowly missing his nose as a fresh-faced yet utterly psychotic girl giggled.

"Whoa! Simmer down there, Betty Blades!"

"I throw rocket blades!" She grinned like it was something to brag about, her sinister, crazy-eyed expression making (y/n) snuggle closer to Ray's side. That toothy snarl made her shiver...and they were supposed to be friends with these people.

"And we love you for it!"

"I don't..." she muttered under her breath, only heard by her husband as he squeezed her hip and brushed his lips briefly against her temple. Still, glancing around the room, she couldn't see anyone else disagreeing; the villains loved her little blade-throwing trick. Now that she could look properly, no one looked like a book thief. This would be challenging...

"But tonight is about our evil community coming together to say, hey! We're bad people, but we're still people," The Butcher added warmly, much to his counterparts' delight. They'd toast to that, cheering and clapping his words with reverent enthusiasm, and the incognito heroes mimicked them quickly, no matter how much they disagreed.

"And we must give a big thank you to our free evil face-painter!" Everyone glanced off to the side, where Schwoz stood by a tall chair in his dastardly disguise in a shady, quiet little corner.

He had a client in the seat, creating a masterpiece on his face without anyone suspecting his true identity; no one would know Captain Man's handy was under that chocolate bubble afro and eyepatch - even the kids failed to recognise him with that beard and those flared jeans, too. He was supposed to look like some painter, not that they'd ever heard of him, but he looked happy at the villains' applause.

"Now, what I want everyone to do is to talk to three villains you haven't talked to before because an evil stranger is just an evil friend you haven't met yet! So, go out there, be on your worst behaviour, and have fun! But not too much fun, okay?"

It made Ray sick, sneering at all the happy crooks around him. He spent all his adult life trying to lock these scumbags up, and here he was, frolicking amongst them as they made buddies over beers. He was almost glad when that Betty Blades girl nearly took off The Butcher's head again, slicing the air with another deadly, flying blade. He didn't care; if anything, she made his job easier, but of course, the morons laughed it off like it was nothing.

"Betty!..." Someone kill him. This was excruciating.

And it didn't get any easier. Following the crowd, the heroes and Danger Force split up to mingle amongst the gathering, making friends and glad-handing with people they'd typically punch in the face. It was difficult, but they managed by gritting their teeth and getting on with it, telling themselves they needed intell to find the book thief.

Ray stuck with his sweet girl, not wanting to leave her alone for a moment in such a dirty and dank place, so she accompanied him to meet several minor and emerging villains, most of whom weren't much of a threat. It was challenging for them for a different reason - no kissing. Apparently, it wasn't dignified or wicked, so, much to the man's disappointment, there was a strict hand-on-small-of-back policy in force, and he was lucky.

Soon, the couple found themselves talking to two familiar faces, who, according to their sticky name tags, were Lizard Boy and Lizard Girl, twins who thought the best aesthetic was to look like two reptilian freaks. They were peculiar characters dressed to look almost identical with their green, scaly skin, flickering tongues, catlike eyes, smooth heads, and odd mannerisms. They were creepy the last time, and (y/n) still hated shaking hands with the slimy individuals.

"No, no, I love the name Hawkfist..." Lizard Boy said awkwardly as he and his sister chatted with the new villains in town, flicking their tongues through their drinks. There was something familiar about them, but he pushed it to the back of his mind as they went through the usual formal introductions.

"'Preciate that..." Ray replied gruffly, hand never straying from Danger Force's waist as Chapa loitered near them. She was only there because they wanted to keep an eye on her. Still, she supposed watching Ray struggle with his disguise was entertainment enough, smirking as everyone they met gave wobbly smiles upon hearing the terrible name.

"But do hawks have...fists?" Lizard Girl asked, proving El Stabador's point as (y/n) cringed into her punch. That had to sting...

"Yes!"

"I told you no one would get it," Chapa told her teacher knowingly as he threw his hands up into the air in frustration, fed up with telling every asshole he came across that it made sense. His pretty girl tried To comfort him, bless her, hugging his arm a little too closely to be considered anything less than a girlfriend. Yet, the twins didn't notice, thinking it was sweet to see young, evil love, even if that Danger Force was more sweet than sour.

"I told you to shut up!" The hero yelled after the girl as she sauntered off to go and find her friends--or at least someone more interesting than a guy in a fucking bird suit. She didn't look back as she walked away, leaving (y/n) to babysit her husband and exchange small talk in an even more awkward situation, the Lizards looking anywhere but their new acquaintances.

"What about Nighthawk?" Lizard Boy suggested - anything to move the conversation on now that creepy little girl had left.

"Look, you don't think there's a day goes by that I don't regret naming myself Hawkfist?" Ray replied harshly, wishing he'd never bothered and stayed home, where he could be in bed, snuggled up with his precious wife if it wasn't for those goody-two-shoes kids and their big ideas about libraries. But the suggestions kept coming...

"Or maybe Hawk-ules?"

"Oooh, 'cause you're a hawk, but you're strong!" The reptilian twins said excitedly, flexing their arms as Ray pondered the suggestion. It sounded much more inventive and cool than he'd imagined, and although he'd introduced himself as Hawkfist all night, he changed his mind in the blink of an eye.

"Okay, love that...New name! I'm Hawkules now! New name! Hawkules! That's me..."

"Oh, doofus..." (y/n) sighed under her breath as she watched him scribble the new persona on a fresh sticky label in his chicken-scratch handwriting once anyone nearby had heard his announcement. Hearing his shrill screech as he slapped it onto his breast to replace the old one made her cringe even harder, flashing the villains a nervous smile to try and smooth things over.

"He does this a lot..."

"Oh, it's fine!" Lizard Girl smiled at the cute villainess, sensing she had great potential lurking behind that innocent schoolgirl-like smile. She was probably utterly heinous beneath that goody-goody exterior if her creepy costume was anything to go by.

"You two are so cute together! How long have you been dating?"

"I beg your pardon?" The question caught (y/n) off-guard, forcing her eyes to snap to the crinkled ones belonging to the other woman, who meant no harm.

"You and your boyfriend... He is your boyfriend, right? Or...are you single?" She and her brother were genuinely curious, but this was dangerous territory, straying too close to reality for comfort. Neither hero missed how the Lizard Boy looked Doll Face up and down, a slight smirk to his grin, and it didn't take a genius to work out what he was angling at, much to Ray's fury.

Still, she couldn't stand there and say nothing. That would make her look weird, yet it was precisely what she did, her face a picture of terror as the Lizard twins kept smiling.

"She's my girlfriend! Definitely my girlfriend. My girlfriend...right...babe?" Ray exclaimed gruffly as he thankfully stepped in to save his wife's embarrassment, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close as he grinned. Another move from Captain Subtle, but it got that scaly bastard to back off, pecking her cheek for good measure, even though his pet name didn't seem right.

He never called her babe, not once, not ever. It was too simple and common, and his sweet girl was more than just some high school boy's babe. She was more than that, so he called her things infinitely more precious, but they couldn't know that. This was Doll Face, girlfriend of Hawkfist--or Hawkules--not (y/n) Manchester, his wife.

"Huh? I...I mean, sure, honey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend. We've been dating for ages," the woman agreed hastily once her brain processed the confusing sentence because he made it sound like he wasn't even talking to her. She hated that - babe - but her smile stayed bright and pleasant as she hugged her gory teddy bear.

"So cute! How did you meet? It's not easy to find love when you're wreaking havoc..."

"Oh, yeah, totally..." (y/n) nodded, tensing when her new friend placed a cold, slimy hand on her bare forearm. Still, she ignored it to focus on creating her false narrative - her and Hawkfist's love story in another life.

"We met...on the job."

"Oh, really?" Lizard Boy blinked in surprise, still feeling disappointed that the cutie was a taken girl. Still, he could deal with it, not wanting to get on the wrong side of the temperamental man before him. Yet, it was rare for villains to date so openly, given the dangers that came with the job, and it wasn't like their personas made them approachable people.

"Yes! I was robbing a bank and in strolls this lil' beauty. She put the money in the bag and stole my keys before driving away in my car...Took my heart with her." Ray sighed wistfully as he finished his elaborate recollection, so impressive and detailed that even (y/n) believed him a bit, snuggling into his side a little more as the villains melted and cooed.

But it wasn't like he had to pretend; his sweet girl made it so easy for him to love her that he didn't need to fake his adoration. It came straight from his heart, so he only needed a few white lies.

"Wow... that's so...romantic."

"Isn't it?" (y/n) exclaimed through gritted teeth, thinking her doofus sounded so effortlessly enamoured that it was almost stupid--almost unbelievable. Villains didn't get happily ever afters, at least not in her books, so she had to make it more realistic, smirking at her so-called boyfriend as she thickened the plot.

"Too bad Captain Man stopped me in my getaway car. I would've never gone back if that...little spandex bastard hadn't foiled my plans."

Ray's eyebrows twitched into a frown as she openly sullied his good name, but he had to remember this was all make-believe. It cast his mind back to the day they first met when he didn't make an excellent first impression, and he felt lucky to press his lips to hers in a much-needed kiss.

Meanwhile, the twins hissed and growled as a sour taste settled on their forked tongues at the mention of that man, having met him on one occasion during a brief ceasefire. He was so full of himself. That, and he made every villain's life miserable with Miss Danger constantly on his back - did those two ever take a day off?

"Captain Man! God, I hate him."

"Me too." They grimaced together, breaking the happy couple out of their smooch because Ray couldn't bear that. It was one thing to joke around, but he hated any slander of his beloved alter ego. Did those two even know how hard he worked with Miss Danger by his side?

"Same here. He's just so...dumb and silly. What a doofus, am I right?" (y/n) agreed hesitantly, not wanting to offend her husband. Still, she couldn't swear her allegiance to Captain Man out in the open. They'd tear her limb from limb, and even as she tried to insult him, a stubborn little grin fought its way onto her face, which she worked to try and make sinister.

"Yeah!"

"Hey, uh, I know we all hate Captain Man, but you guys read his book? It's a pretty great read..." Ray probed sneakily, much to his wife's exasperation. Of all the places to try and pitch that goddamn novel, this had to be the worst, among dozens of criminals who'd never look at anything affiliated with the hero, let alone read it.

"That dummy wrote a book?" The reptilian guy frowned before laughing cruelly, deepening Ray's hatred as he met his icy gaze. First, he flirted with his wife, and now, this? This asshole was crossing the line.

"Some say it's a real page-turner," (y/n) commented vaguely as she tried not to gush about the hero or condemn him to spare everyone's feelings. But you could practically cut the tension with a knife, making her shiver as she squeezed her bear tighter and peered at the Lizards from behind her braids.

"I can't remember the title..." the girl muttered, having never read the book since it was beneath her, but she remembered it from somewhere. And God, it was so sucky to everyone who sadly bought it from the bookstore...well, everyone except Ray.

"Uh, yeah, it's something like, uh...Man, I Feel Like A Hero, colon, One Captain Man's Journey Of Self-Discovery, parenthesis, A Captain Man-isfesto, asterisk, The True Story Of The Boy Who Became Captain Man, end parenthesis, exclamation point....or something like that."

"That's oddly specific," (y/n) retorted sarcastically as Ray finished his uncanny recollection of the hero's book - so damn detailed that he nailed it down to the punctuation. It was hardly a smooth move, and the heroine could see the surprise on the criminals' faces until they recovered and politely smiled. Luckily, they got away with the small outburst, but Ray didn't half push it.

"Oh, yeah! We read it in our evil book club. No one made it through chapter one!" Lizard Girl giggled with her brother as Ray watched with a flat, unimpressed expression, utterly disenchanted with their disrespectful mockery as his poor girl had to cringe and bear it.

"I think you mean Cap-ter one," he replied tersely, but that made them howl more.

"Oh, that's right! He called the chapters Cap-ters!" (y/n) subtly comforted her husband as the villains giggled to each other, exchanging insults about the hero, not knowing he was glaring at them like his eyes could burn holes in their heads. She squeezed and rubbed her hands against his bicep, hoping he'd see sense and let them have their fun; after all, they were the ones who'd probably put them in jail one day.

"That's so stupid!"

But Ray couldn't think like that, not when he'd spent too many nights writing that book, burning the candle at both ends when he should've been going to bed with her. He poured his blood, sweat, and tears into it and refused to let them smear all his hard work. So, rather childishly, he slapped the plastic cups out of their hands, glaring at them before his sweet girl's elbow.

"You're stupid! Caw-caw!" He hissed, to which the Lizards raised their fingers in an elegant, if weird, pose, and the couple turned away, dragging (y/n) 's bear behind her. He'd rather speak to anyone but them, heading toward Schwoz's face-painting corner, only the hero came face-to-face with someone he'd rather forget.

"Hey there!" Much to Ray's annoyance, a chubby, overly chummy man greeted them. He couldn't help but roll his eyes and groan upon seeing that thatch of grassy hair, leafy green waistcoat, and a t-shirt bursting at the seams since it was pulled tightly over his bulging tummy. The Lawn Ranger: some loser who matched with Captain Man on some superhero-villain dating app, only to be a total catfish.

He was the bane of Ray's existence, and even though he wouldn't recognise him as Hawkules, he didn't want to deal with him.

"Doofus, that was rude..." (y/n) noted as Ray tugged her to the bar, hearing Mika on her way past a small group of chattering villains. Like the good girl she was, she was probing about the book thief, casually asking around about anyone who might know their identity, but her doofus wasn't so keen.

"I don't like him, sweet girl..." he said with a huff, barely watching Mika's excellent work as he placed his hands on her hips and bent down to kiss her gently. She hummed against his lips appreciatively, enjoying his peppermint-bubblegum taste as she cupped his face and pulled her doofus closer.

No one around them offered any argument, knowing that a few more frisky miscreants were getting it on in the shadowy corners. Ray got her all to himself for a moment, hugging his beloved wife to his chest while his wandering hands explored her curves. He missed her after being so cruelly denied earlier, pecking her lips a few times before pulling away.

"He's annoying, granted..." the heroine muttered into his mouth, slightly breathless as they rubbed noses and panted. "But you're above being mean, Raymond."

"Don't you mean Hawkules, Doll Face?"

"You're my doofus, doofus. And I don't like being mean or evil. Feels...wrong." She pulled away, wrinkling her nose in mild disgust because hearing him call her that felt wrong.

She imagined the creepy villainess schwoz had invented for her was rude and malicious, leagues away from Miss Danger so no one would recognise her. And he wasn't the masked birdman he pretended to be; instead, he was the man who kissed her with such affection and reverence like she was a China doll, not some sinister plaything.

And Ray agreed, smiling as his touch circled her lower back, dangerously dipping to squeeze her butt through the flouncy material of her gothic dress if she didn't immediately bring it back to her waist. With warm and flushed cheeks, they kissed again until the man's lips bore her lipstick, standing them scarlet so (y/n) had to rub his mouth, laughing at the smudged mess, not that he cared.

"That's because you're too sweet for this villain shit," Ray told her firmly with a squeeze of her hips. "Don't change, darlin'. I love my wife exactly the way she is."

"I love you too..." (y/n) grinned, heart fluttering upon seeing his smile, and she sorely wanted to say, fuck everything, let's go home. What were they doing? Revealing their true, loving, married selves for all these villains to see; they could be at home right now, cuddled up in their pyjamas and matching rings, but no. They had to kiss out in the open, and who knows who was watching?

"Ugh, can you guys get a room?" A disgusted voice came from behind the couple, forcing them to break apart to see a disgruntled girl glaring at them - mainly Ray since he was the ringleader.

Chapa looked positively nauseated as she joined them, looking more terrifying than usual in her El Stabador costume, and witnessing their revolting love and PDA didn't help. Her lips were curled up in revulsion, arms crossed tightly across her chest, and her hip jutted out as she sneered, daring Ray to make one clever comment about how he should be able to love his wife openly--or some such bullshit. Seeing him eating (y/n) 's face made her want to puke, and she was poised to remind them of their mission.

"We were minding our own business until you came along..." Ray replied arrogantly, keeping his sweet girl in his embrace while returning Chapa's glare with aching only cold eyes.

"Look, I'm pretty sure you won't find the book thief at the back of her throat!" She hissed, heating her friend's face further as she thought about how far Ray went - perhaps too far to be considered decent in public. God, those hands made him like an octopus...touching everywhere.

"There's no harm in trying!" He bit back, creating a furious tirade of back-and-forth biting comments between them since Ray didn't feel accountable to anyone, nor did Chapa.

"We have a job to do!"

"She's my wife! I'll kiss her if I wa--"

"Both of you, shhhhhhh!" (y/n) suddenly hushed them, pressing a hand over Ray's mouth before shaking the girl's shoulder. They quickly quietened down, albeit with furrowed brows, as the heroine turned in her husband's arms and stared at something - or someone - in the crowd around them. And, for some reason, she wouldn't stop staring, craning her neck to peer over shoulders through gaps and over heads until she could hone in on a particular conversation.

"Huh? Sweet girl? I'm trying to---" Ray muttered, sad to lose her attention. He tried to spin her back around, convinced that whatever had enthralled her was nothing compared to his kisses. And whilst that might have been true, this was important enough to whack his chest and silence him again lightly.

"Shhhh! Listen!" She ordered him insistently, pointing weakly to the group where Mika was chatting with some lower-league criminals. None of them were fascinating, neither infamous nor notorious, so the heroes didn't recognise them, barely sparing them a glance until one began bragging about his exploits.

"...She was just wondering who stole all those books from The Swellview Library."

"Oh, yeah. That was me!" A pasty, nerdy-looking guy boasted, earning chuckles from his listeners, save for Mika. He didn't look like much, hardly the stuff of nightmares in his faux leather jacket, thin-framed glasses, and a pink and grey, splotchy scarf. If anything, he looked like a feather could knock him down, but Ray had seen all villains in his time. But it was rare to find one so cocky at such a young age.

"I mean, I didn't take all the books. I left Captain Man's stupid one behind!" The nerdy villain, or Steven to his friends, laughed, much to Ray's fury, as he and (y/n) watched silently from the sidelines. Chapa couldn't help but giggle a little - a death wish - still thinking it was hilarious, although the hero's glare soon sobered her up.

But this was dangerous for Mika, who found herself surrounded by crooks who wouldn't think twice about hurting her if they thought she'd betrayed them. She was more than an arm's length away from her teachers. Help might come too late, yet she'd asked too many questions...

"So, why'd you wanna know?"

"Oh, I just wanted to shake your hand! Because it's such a really good crime to steal books that are already free," the girl congratulated Steven through gritted teeth, squeezing his hand a little too tightly as she violently shook it - nearly knocking the glasses off his face. It took all her strength to smile sweetly, pretending his blatant disrespect and vandalism didn't bother her.

"I mean, how do you even read all those books?"

"Oh, I don't read any of them," Steven revealed with a mischievous grin, unwittingly torturing the books-smart girl even more. It was more than her job's worth to grin and bear it, although he had to be the biggest jerk she'd ever met.

"Oh, you don't even read them?! What do you do with all those free books you steal?" She asked hoarsely, peeking behind Steven to see Ray (y/n) and Chapa waiting with bated breath for a chance to step in. She was reassured that they were so close, but the woman fidgeted, counting at least three villains between her and the kid, including Betty and her rocket blades.

'Oh, I burn some..." the lowlife listed, each terrible misdeed another blow to the girl's heart. What a selfish bas--

"I shred some..." It was like sacrilege, ebbing away at Mika's resilience as she glared at Book Thievin' Steven. She couldn't help it, wanting to punch him or at least shout to the rooftops about how he was the lowest of the low, the scum of the earth, the dirt underneath her boots - literally the loser in school who peaked in fifth grade. But by some miracle, she held her, fists clenched and shoulders shaking as the guy rambled on, bragging about his exploits like they were something to be proud of.

"Super!"

"But most of the time, I just tear out the pages one by one and use them to wipe my--" Nope, she couldn't take it. That was the last straw. The one that broke the camel's back. The final fuse to Mika's temper. In a fit of fury, she lurched forward and super-screamed with all her might, creating a sonic wave strong enough to blast the speccy-four-eyed freak off his feet.

He flew across the room, legs kicking in the air, until he perched on a ledge above the main floor, winded, startled and pale as he stared at The Mangler. Or whoever she claimed to be because villain attacking villain? That was not on at Villains Only Night. Mika gulped as she realised her mistake, staring at Steven wide-eyed as he clutched his sore torso before locking eyes with her friends across the room. Not good...

"Face. I was gonna say my face!" He grumbled, frowning at the girl, but she had more significant problems as those who'd witnessed her superpower - every villain in the room - swarmed around her.

"It's ShoutOut!" The Lawn Ranger cried. Even he, with his mushroom-addled brain, could see through her disguise after pairing her painted face with that superpower, sending shockwaves of murmurs through the evil crowd.

"Who?"

"She's not a villain. She's in Danger Force!" Everything happened so quickly, and in a flash, Mika faced the expertly sharpened edge of The Butcher's meat cleaver. His expression twisted into a snarl as she tried to remain cool and composed, but a bead of sweat ran down her forehead when she gulped, knowing there was little use in denying it.

All the girl could do was stay calm and pray for her friends to save her, gaze flickering to them around the room to see their anxious, staunch faces. Well, some of them were helpful and brave; others, not so much.

"I'm out of here! Byeeeeee!" Schwoz whimpered, pulling a grapple gun from his belt and using it to leap to safety in the rafters. Panic really does expose a man's cowardice, but in fairness, there was little he could do - especially with that eyepatch. He wasn't a fighter nor a great negotiator, so it was best to return to the Man's Nest and leave the work to the professionals.

Still, the backup would've been nice, and Mika would rather have a friend to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her as the small army of criminals and evildoers closed in. Brandishing their weapons, they stuck their ugly mugs close to hers, intimidating her from all sides as they wondered how best to deal with her. Her hands instinctively curled around her throat to protect it, nervously swallowing when she saw all the knives, blasters, and other devices designed to end a person's life in the blink of an eye.

After all, only an idiot would wander into The Beatin' Dungeon during their night...

"We have to do something--we have to do something now!" (y/n) worriedly whispered to Ray and Chapa. Thankfully, no one heard her panic as the villains bickered about how to make ShoutOut pay for her insolence. She fought her heart's desire to march over there and take down any asshole who dared to touch a hair on her precious baby's head. It was reckless and stupid, almost doomed to fail, but she refused to let anyone hurt the girl.

She'd never lost a kid on her watch, and she didn't intend to start now, a sentiment shared by Ray as his warm hands laid across her shoulders, squeezing gently as he tried to formulate a plan. He'd never show it, but losing one of them would devastate him, not that he'd let anything happen to Mika.

"Everything will be fine, darlin'. Look, she's okay..." the man reassured her kindly, watching as the villains manhandled the kid to stand facing the wall while deciding what to do with her. He despised how roughly they treated her, practically shoving her through the brickwork. Still, Mika didn't struggle, pressing her blazing cheek to the chilly wall as her captors argued.

"For now! I swear if Betty Blades starts to get stabby, one of those rocket blades is going right up her a--"

"Relax, (y/n/n)! We can't blow our cover," Chapa told her calmly, motioning for the heroine to stay low and blend in. They'd be no help if they were also suspected, but she got it. She'd rain hell in furious bolts of lightning should they hurt her friend.

"We just need to think! Besides, it's not like they know what to do with her..." She was right, turning to glance around the rowdy group as they threw psychotic and downright cruel ideas at The Butcher, none of which fitted the crime, but they were satisfying.

Boiling, garrotting, gouging, purging, disembowelling; all were beastly enough to make (y/n) wanna puke, but no one could make up their mind. Each criminal thought they were better than the other, nearly brawling amongst themselves until their mild-mannered yet menacing leader spoke up.

"Okay, okay! Now, we've all got lots of evil ideas about what to do with this member of Danger Force that snuck into Villains Only Night," The Butcher yelled above the racket as Miles and Bose tiptoed over to their teachers, looking to Ray and (y/n) for guidance. There wasn't much room for manoeuvring amongst this lot, and even The Lawn Ranger, with all his loserness, wanted in on the action. Sort of.

"Let's throw grass in her face!" He suggested after courteously raising his hand, only to receive a harmony of groans and eye-rolls. Maybe if she had hay fever, but...

"No, Lawn Ranger! We're not going to--"

"Let's throw grass on her shoulders!" He exclaimed, and even when they turned him down again with exasperated sighs, he didn't stop. The grass was his thing, which was what made him the crappiest villain in Swellview. "Let's throw grass on her head!"

"Okay, it can't be grass every time, buddy," Steven told him gently, not that it soothed the leafy man-baby. Even as he placed a friendly hand on his grass-covered arm, The Lawn Ranger pouted and shook him off, desperate to show his prowess.

"It comes from the Earth, man, it's good!"

"You know what they should do is get a bunch of battery acid and some steak knives..." Chapa proposed quietly as she, Bose, Miles, Ray, and (y/n) stood at the back of the crowd, pondering their next move as they bickered. That grassy freak bought them some time, but the girl couldn't help but think about what she'd do if she switched to the dark side.

"Stop!" Miles scolded her, nudging her ribs before he had to her anymore of her idea to melt his sister to death or whatever she had planned. "Honestly, we're not trying to come up with ways to hurt her!"

"We need to save her! What are we gonna do?!" Bose worriedly asked, seeing no way through the horde of angry villains. Yet, Ray, being his usual cocksure self, didn't shrink before a challenge. Oh no, he thrived under pressure, flashing them his signature smirk before his handsome features melted into what was quickly becoming recognisably Hawkfist's scowl.

"Relax. Hawkfist has a plan."

"Doofus, didn't you change your name to Hawkules? Amongst other things?" (y/n) frowned, barely keeping up with her husband's frequent name changes after she stopped kissing him and focused on Mika instead. He changed his character like a girl changes clothes, ending up with half a dozen sticky labels stuck to his vest. Some were scribbled out until he settled on his latest fancy.

"Oh, yeah. I changed it again. I'm now The Talon-ted Mr Hawkley." He grinned at her, thinking himself oh-so-clever as he dove past her and wrenched a soft, doughy snack from Miles' palm. He could've swiped one from the dessert table, but that wasn't cool for someone in a Birdman costume. So, he took the doughnut, shrieked and flapped off, but not before smooching (y/n) 's cheek loudly, much to the children's displeasure.

"Caw-caw!"

"I do not feel comfortable about this plan..." Miles sighed as they watched the hero boldly approach the squabbling villains without backup, forethought, or weapon. They had no idea what he'd planned--if he'd planned anything at all, but they couldn't make a scene, not when he shoved his way through the throng.

"Oh, Ra--I mean, Hawk-Whatever--don't be a doofus all your life!" B (y/n) called after him, tiptoeing closer to the other villains with the kids tentatively covering her back.

They couldn't help but get closer, wanting to see the man's big plan, although their better instincts told them to run and hide because it would be a disaster. What was the doughnut for?

"Quiet! Quiet!" The Butcher shouted, acting as crowd control, not that it worked. The villains kept yelling louder and louder, inching forward as they bayed for ShoutOut's blood - just a little drop for good measure, which they only saw as fair payment.

But Ray was fearless, elbowing the miscreants out of his way since he'd faced things far grander, far scarier, and far weirder than they were. He wouldn't call any of them truly great villains, hardly Doctor Minyak, The Toddler, or Frankini. Still, they had strength in their numbers, not that it bothered him. He had a pretty lady watching his every move. He didn't have room to slip up.

"All right, everybody--let's cut the chatter!" He bellowed, and surprisingly, what didn't work on a classroom of tweens beautifully commanded a warehouse full of creeps and crooks. The villains fell silent, vastly boosting his ego as he smirked and preened, making his wife roll her eyes.

"Nice..." he added huskily, unknowingly causing (y/n) to flutter in her tummy when a minuscule smile tweaked his lips. So damn handsome, even in that ridiculous outfit.

"All right, The Talon-ted Mr Hawkley will deal with this girl."

"Who's that, Hawkfist?" The Lizard Girl asked, mirroring the confused expressions around the rooms upon hearing the new name. He'd changed it so many times that no one could keep up with whoever he was now, still caught up on his first - and most memorable - nickname.

"Me!" Ray replied gruffly, utterly fed up with those two reptilian weirdos and how they always seemed to hang around him like an unwanted bad smell.

"I thought you were Hawkules--"

"Ugh, moving on! I'm gonna scratch this girl, and she will bleed!" The hero sneered, brandishing the sharp talons stitched into his gloves and prompting panic and terror in Mika as the villains cheered. The children glanced at (y/n) worriedly, concerned at the mention of blood. But she couldn't help them, looking just as antsy at her husband's risky plan as everyone else while the girl shivered.

"Okay, ShoutOut. Get ready to feel my talon punch!"

"Shouldn't your talons be on your feet?" The Lizard Girl butted in again, being pedantic when Ray was trying to be cool. He turned to her with a vicious snarl, rolling his eyes at every little interruption.

"Oh my God, whatever! Just let me do this--shut up! Caw-caw!" With no more rude interruptions, he spun and gently raked his fingers down Mika's back.

It felt more like a massage than a relentless attack, nails slightly digging into her skin. Still, not to the point of pain, but to any onlooker, it appeared like he was cruelly clawing at her body. The villains cheered and egged him on, and Mika quickly followed Ray's lead, pretending he was hurting her as he growled and moved his talons faster.

"Oh, no! I'm being scratched, yeah!"

"Get her, Hawkules!" The Lawn Ranger shouted, much to Ray's displeasure, as he briefly paused his so-called assault to give him an icy look. God, he hated that guy.

"That's three names ago. Try to keep up!" He snarled before returning to his work, ignorant of the loser's attempt at an apology. Still, Mika played her role very well, faking her cries of pain and pretending to curl into the wall to shield herself as much as possible. It was brutal to watch, and the criminals loved it, roaring and applauding Hawk-guy's work, even as Danger Force loitered on the sidelines.

"I'm definitely bleeding!" She gasped as Ray snuck his stolen doughnut under his jacket's wing, squishing the sweet pastry over her costume until the red jelly filling was smeared across her back. He took inspiration from Bose's stupidity, and when she collapsed from the agony, it really looked like he'd torn her skin to ribbons - scarlet dribbles everywhere.

"Oh, but I am so very defeated!" The girl remarked flatly as she weakly lay on the floor with Hawkfist looming over her. His fingers were covered in jelly, all sticky and dripping in a morbid sight, which was a bit confusing for the throngs of evildoers around them. No matter how much their feathered friend hyped up his dirty hands and defeated foe, they'd never known one of Captain Man's protégés to go down so quickly.

Still, if he could make a swift exit, no one need know any different...

"Okay, then, I'm just gonna take her back to my lair and feed her to my baby birds," Ray growled to the villains, bending down to grab Mika and drag her home. The kids didn't want to know who the baby birds were, but they waited patiently, eager to leave, when Betty Blades piped up, a suspicious snarl on her lips.

"Wait a second!"

"What?" Ray asked nervously, having no choice but to let Mika lay there as the psychotic brunette marched up to him and swiped her bony finger through the red mess coating his fingers.

Everyone grimaced when she brought the apparent blood to her lips. Still, Betty frowned when the strangely sweet and oddly delicious flavour hit her tongue. It wasn't metallic or gross but tart and sugary, crinkling her eyebrows at the deception.

"It tastes sweet..." she remarked, much to her comrades' confusion.

"Of course it does! The taste of victory is always sweet!" The hero remarked with a voice full of confidence, acting as if her discovery didn't phase him at all. He played it off well, but one glance at his sweet girl through the crowd and (y/n) saw the panic behind his eyes, knowing that his big plan was slowly unravelling.

"Yeah, but that's just jelly."

"What?" He scoffed, acting innocent and dumb as the villains around them laughed slightly, thinking it was some big prank. But Betty narrowed her eyes at him, sensing something was wrong with that perfect smile - perhaps too perfect for a supervillain.

"Raspberry, if I'm not mistaken."

"The Talon-ted Mr Hawkley must've used that doughnut!" The Butcher pointed out with a sinister smirk, causing everyone to gasp as they saw the squashed, empty pastry on the floor next to ShoutOut's limp body. They glared at Ray, not knowing whether to deem him an intruder or a phoney. Still, either way, the man was stuck between a rock and a hard place - very much in no position to convince them otherwise.

"No, I didn't!"

"But you did, though. Right before you fake-scratched her."

"And un-stuck her from the wall," The Lizard Twins hissed, folding their arms coldly as Ray struggled to think of a witty, believable comeback--and his sidekicks were no help. They couldn't get to him even if they wanted to, and honestly, a twinge of fear settled into his gut.

"Are you even a real villain, bro?" Some guy in the crowd asked, which was a bit rich, given that Ray didn't even recognise him. He could say the same in return, even if it was suicidal.

"What does this say? Huh?" He replied curtly, pointing to one of the many sticky labels on his chest. Yet, because he didn't look where he was pointing and had so many name changes, he accidentally chose an old one that didn't last very long since it was a bit...lame.

"I have no idea."

"You kept scratching out your villain names and giving yourself new ones."

"Does one of them say, Hawklate Milk?" Betty Blades asked with a slight, mocking smirk, and the man quickly covered the unfortunate label, licking his finger and rubbing it to try and remove the ink.

"Maybe..."

"That's dumber than Captain Man's book!" The same nobody from earlier remarked, and that was his last straw. Ray couldn't handle any slander toward his books if Mika couldn't cope with pointless crimes. It infuriated him more than their constant interruptions or snarky comments, making him stamp his foot like a child and jerk his arms. He'd show them who the losers were, aching for genuine respect since that stupid bird suit obviously didn't command any.

"All right--that's it! Where's my damn gum?" He shouted in annoyance as he plodded off around a corner, patting down his pockets to find where he'd carefully hidden his gum. They all brought some, just in case, even if it was risky in case one of the villains found them, and (y/n) didn't miss a beat when she saw her doofus disappear into the shadows.

Placing a hand over her well-hidden tube, feeling it through the lace of her dress, she turned to Chapa. While her husband was more than capable of kicking dozens of villains' butts, she didn't fancy him taking on every asshole The Beatin' Dungeon had to offer, so, lowering her voice, she whispered to the girl as she tiptoed away.

"Keep them busy. We'll be right back..."

"What?! What are we supposed to do?!" Chapa whispered harshly, nervously glancing around, praying no one heard their snappy conversation. Luckily, the delinquents in the room were too distracted to truly pay attention, allowing the heroine to weave her way to wherever Ray disappeared cautiously.

But the kids didn't want her to leave, suddenly feeling much smaller and weaker without the mighty Miss Danger. Yet, she didn't stop, throwing them a bright smile as she slipped past some pink-haired weirdo.

"Just get Mika to safety! We'll handle the rest!" (y/n) grinned, not looking back as she disappeared into the crowd, leaving Bose clueless and Miles and Chapa very disgruntled.

"Oh, you make it sound so easy!" Ignoring them, she crept past the oblivious villains toward Ray's hiding place, hoping they wouldn't do anything too reckless while transforming. As she slipped into the nook, she could hear The Butcher bellowing more incoherent orders. Still, she didn't bother deciphering them when she spotted a very angry doofus muttering himself, patting down his tunic with too much aggression.

"Doofus?"

"Sweet girl..." The man turned around upon hearing those dulcet tones, the tension and fury melting from his body when he saw his beloved wife standing there. Her face was so pure and innocent, so it wasn't his fault when a sudden urge to sweep her into a spontaneous kiss swept over him.

He gathered her in his arms, holding her shoulders tightly as (y/n) gasped, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth in what was interrupted by that sparky brat before. A sigh mingled between them as her arms slid around his neck, pulling their navels together until every inch of their bodies touched. It was hot and passionate and undoubtedly the wrong time and wrong place, but neither cared, forgetting their mission, friends in a second of love and lust.

But it didn't last. As much as her head was spinning, her heart was burning, and her tummy was fluttering, (y/n) snapped to her senses when she felt his fingertips creeping under her skirt - a little too eager to say they weren't at home. There were dozens of villains just a few feet away - his composure and boldness surprised her.

She abruptly pulled away from her lover at the peak of his assault, grasping the wrist hiding between her thighs and staring up at him with darkened eyes and swollen lips. Had it really been that long since they had a moment to themselves?

"What's taking you so long?!" She panted before suddenly realising how tightly she gripped his arm and jacket. Ray smirked at her dishevelled state, having quietly known that his sweet girl would follow when he walked off, although he hadn't planned on losing control like that. It was her fault for being too damn hot.

"I can't find my gum!" Ray replied smoothly, holding her waist when she released his wandering hand. It was true; he'd been trying to find the damn thing when she walked in, and he swore that it was gone--vanished--stolen--God knows what. He couldn't find it; only (y/n) knew better.

"You mean this gum?" She cocked an eyebrow as she waggled a glowing tube under his nose - the same gum she'd felt when her hand slipped down to his butt when they were kissing. He'd shoved it deep in his back pocket, which wasn't particularly safe, making him smile sheepishly as he took it with red cheeks.

"Oh, yeah..." The hero nodded, taking the glowing gum as she shook her head and smiled. Such a doofus...but even if he was embarrassed, he couldn't help the rush of affection in his chest when she tenderly kissed his neck to hide her amused expression.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?"

"Several times."

"Well, it's true," Ray remarked, grabbing her chin and tilting it up so he could see her eyes when she bashfully looked down with hot ears.

He bent down again, capturing her lips much more gently this time, moving slowly until her mouth opened, allowing his tongue to slip in again. Seconds or hours passed - neither knew how long - until they were breathless and grinning like idiots, feeling like their dark yet cosy corner had gone from frigid to unbearably scorching. God knows what was happening in the main room, a thought that slipped through (y/n) 's mind as her beloved doofus grasped and squished her ass in his large palm.

"Ray?" She asked quietly, weak and throaty as their lips brushed together again before he found her neck, forcing her head to tilt back. What was her point again? Everything went out of her mind as he suckled and nipped on her skin, pushing his face closer when he hummed against her throat.

"Hmmm?"

"Those villains insulted your book. Aren't you gonna punch them?" His lips froze over a fleeting mark, not even bothering to darken it into staying for a few more seconds.

Suddenly, Ray remembered his purpose, hands momentarily squeezing her flesh a little too hard as his muscles remembered their strength, and his brain recalled why he was so fucking mad in the first place. Right before this temptress walked in, he was hell-bent on revenge... And he still wanted to show those losers that he was superior.

"God, yes..." the man growled, pulling away to stare darkly into her pretty eyes, smirking in satisfaction when she shuddered at the sight of him. There she went again, seducing him without even realising it.

"One more kiss, though..." (y/n) was helpless to stop him, not that she wanted to.

She pulled him in by his collar until their noses brushed under that stupid hood of his, drinking down his taste as he rocked against her body. Everything would make later that night so much sweeter, going deeper and deeper until their lungs burned and begged for mercy, although Ray swore he could survive on her honey-like taste alone.

"Okay...come on. You've had your fun," the heroine told him firmly, physically having to rip herself away from his unbearably hot body; otherwise, she would've let him have his way right there in the corridor. Pressing his gum tube into his palm, she fumbled to bring hers out of the only place she could've stored in a dress with no pockets - the built-in bra.

"Don't even..." she told her husband sternly as her fingers dipped past the neck and pulled the warm glass cylinder out from between her boob. She wasn't stupid, knowing that Ray's eyes were glued to her cleavage, aching like a virgin teenager for even the tiniest glimpse of her bare flesh - like he hadn't seen it all before.

"Fun? Well, that was mildly entertaining, darlin', but I'll show you a good time when we get home," he rumbled gruffly, popping a gumball with a flushed face when she caught him staring. It wasn't his fault; she was just too hot, and he was such a her man, utterly in love with all of her features, some finer than others.

"Don't you always?" The woman threw the flirtatious comment over her shoulder with the candy she popped into her mouth, chewing slowly as they laughed. A warm hand took hers as Ray mimicked her movement, turning the gum all sticky and squishy before they blew their bubbles and transformed into their costumes.

It felt good to be Captain Man and Miss Danger again, grinning and checking each other out since their uniforms were infinitely better-looking than those angsty disguises. She was beautiful, and he was handsome, looking like the perfect pair as he brushed her hair behind her ear and pecked her lips one last time.

"God, I love you..."

"I know..." And (y/n) grinned the whole way out of the room.

Of course, they couldn't sneak out the way they'd come in; any observant villain would put two and two together and surmise that Hawkfist was Captain Man, etcetera. So, they took the long way, routing around the back of the warehouse until they could approach from the other side of the room. They had the element of surprise on their side, Ray going first with his sweet girl hot on his heels as the sound of angry voices grew louder.

It was a tremendous racket like a thunderstorm in a tin can, and when the heroes peeked out from the door they tiptoed through, they could see Chapa and Bose looming over The Butcher. He lay on the floor, unconscious, after the girl was forced to defend herself with her superpower because Bose couldn't keep his mouth shut. Miles and Mika were nowhere to be seen - hopefully safely back at the Man's Nest like the heroine instructed.

"It's Volt!" The Lizard Girl hissed, pointing directly at Chapa as she took an uncharacteristically timid step back. She didn't know what to do now that she'd revealed her true identity, feeling like a million eyes were staring back at her and Bose - but they weren't alone.

"All right, you jerks!" Ray chose his moment wisely, jumping into action with his beloved wife before anyone could harm a single hair on his sidekicks' heads. He stormed over to the group of baffled villains, all of whom were utterly stunned to see the snarling hero in their lair - with Miss Danger looking equally pissed.

"Anyone wanna make fun of my book now?" They were the wrong people to ask, boldly throwing insults about his sloppy plotline, poor spelling, and awful pacing as (y/n) quickly checked over the children, cupping their cheeks before pushing them behind her back.

They'd done beautifully, but now it was time to let her and Ray fight, and boy, he was mad about the brazen mockery of his treasured novel. Glancing at each other, the couple rolled their eyes and sighed, knowing that some things never changed, but at least they could get revenge for a genuinely terrible evening.

"I hate you all," Ray sighed as some randomer pressed play on the stereo system, anticipating an epic brawl.

The villains felt pretty confident, sizing up the admittedly bulky hero and his pretty, if puny, wife, and decided they were no match for them. They were hideously outnumbered, even if they cracked their knuckles and stretched their backs, calmly waiting for the oncoming storm--well, they could have it. Anything to avenge their fallen comrade and find justice for invading their territory.

"Get 'em!" Betty Blades screeched, and that was when all hell broke loose.

A tall man flung himself at Ray first, easily a couple of inches taller than the hero. Still, he repelled him quickly with a swift punch across the jaw before elbowing him in the throat. As he fell to the floor, a blonde, cruel-looking woman snuck up on the hero with all the agility and feline wickedness of a cat, moving to pounce and dig her claws into him if it wasn't for (y/n) anticipating her move.

She saw the attack in her mind, moving perfectly in time as her eyes shimmered like pearls, allowing her to grab the bitch by her shoulders before she could lay a hand on her doofus. Curling an arm around her neck, she held her still long enough for Ray to boot her in the stomach, a pained groan leaving the villainess as she crumpled to the floor, clutching her abdomen.

Another swathe of villains approached, teaming up three against two as the couple backed up toward the bar until their elbows brushed, trying to keep all eyes on their foes. Suddenly, a thick, rusty, iron chain wrapped around Ray's neck from behind, causing (y/n) to gasp and break focus for a split second to glance upwards and see an evil man sneering at the struggling hero from a concrete ledge.

"Captain Man!" She cried, feeling her heart lurch when her husband scrambled for oxygen, even though she knew he'd be fine. That's when the three cornering them made them move, storming forward while the man was weak.

They targeted Miss Danger, who recognised one as the guy who fought Henry once - Kyle or something - so she knew he meant business. She blocked one of his punches, holding his fist in her hand before uppercutting his chin with the other, sending him stumbling backwards. But she couldn't take on three at once, not when the men had arms as thick as her thighs and infinite strength. Hence, as she dodged a few more blows from a guy in a red jacket, Ray ignored the stinging agony around his throat and kicked out at anyone who dared lay a finger on her.

He snarled at those who hurt her, growling lowly at how they pathetically tried to keep him from her side. Finding a break in the waves of attackers, he lurched forward, pulling the villain above him down against the concrete so his face was in range for a damn good pummeling. A swift punch to the nose rendered him out like a light, loosening his grip on the chain so the hero could steal it and breathe freely again.

"You okay, sweet girl?" Ray asked breathlessly, catching her in a brief, free moment as chaos reigned around them. Bose was unconscious for some reason, and Chapa was terrorising Betty Blades with her lightning, but still, the doofus looked at her like all was right in the world. And if she was okay, then everything was.

"Never better--doofus!" The woman grunted, her smiling vanishing when the guy who swung the first punch returned for round two. This time, he aimed for her, throwing his body weight into the blow as (y/n) ducked, giving her husband space to block his arms with brute raw strength.

Before they knew it, the blonde was backing, stunning (y/n) with some fancy flips as she cartwheeled and twisted her way across the floor--what was wrong with walking? She didn't have time to help Ray as he took a swipe to the cheek, slumping winded against a barrel before taking on Kyle one-on-one.

For someone so high and mighty, he went down with a single punch as Miss Danger cat-slapped the woman with the back of her hand, smirking satisfactorily when she sharply kicked her shin with the metal toe of her heeled boot. That was for trying to hurt her husband. In the blink of an eye, the couple found themselves back-to-back in a circle of villains, taking on whoever stepped into the ring. Others watched from the sidelines, egging their friends on.

One guy in a red jacket swung at (y/n), only to receive a straight left to the nose as Ray punched Kyle in the gut, wondering why Henry had struggled so much with him before. A swift kick in the face and he flew into the buffet table, sending cheese puffs and plastic cups everywhere as he cried for his mama.

Meanwhile, his pretty girl smirked at the catty lady, expertly ducking and weaving every time she tried to claw out her eyes, predicting every swipe with seconds to spare until she caught her arm on the final blow. It was too easy to shove her off her balance, watching with a giggle as the acrobatic woman fell face-first into a cardboard box with her legs kicking in the air.

But there was no time to get cocky; out of nowhere, some lunatic charged at Ray, rugby-tackling him with his arms locked around the hero's waist as they tumbled through a wooden door, making even the most hardened, desensitised villains wince. Some fled for their lives, too weak or cowardly to take on the fearless crimefighters, and (y/n) noticed how The Lizard Twins were among the fleeing monsters. Whilst she was sad to miss the chance to fight them, she scoffed in amusement - some bad guys they were.

Some were smarter than others, though, knowing when to leave a party, and Book Thievin' Steven was no exception. He knew when he was beaten, seeing how the heroes effortlessly tipped the scales until the crowd thinned, leaving only the roughest, toughest of villains fighting. And he was neither of those things, more like a delicate flower than a bloodthirsty fighter, so he turned to run...only to run into Volt's arms.

"Oh, no!" She smirked, and with Bose's help, they twisted his hands behind his back, taking him as their prisoner since he was the thief they'd come to apprehend. He didn't put up much of a fight, whining like a little bitch as the children meanly slapped his wrists in handcuffs, barking orders to be silent or else.

He should've counted himself lucky, given that the people he'd been bragging to all night had to face Captain Man and Miss Danger. The couple showed no mercy; when Ray tossed his attacker through the remaining splinters of the door, (y/n) was there to meet him with her flying fist.

There were barely any villains left standing, only the stubborn with wobbly legs and bruised faces still fighting. When one got to his feet, all the hero had to breeze past him and flick him on the nose to knock him out, more intent on reaching his sweet girl than bothering with a loser who didn't know when to give up.

"Boo!" He grinned when he saw her sneak up on The Lawn Ranger, shouting into his ear so the leafy weirdo practically jumped out of his skin when he realised how close the heroine was. He'd spent the entire fight cowering behind the bar, all too happy to let someone else be his shield, but now he was out of options - except one.

"MOMMY, COME HELP ME!" The so-called criminal screeched, glancing from the woman with her hands on her hips to her hulking husband, who threateningly flexed his biceps as he stomped toward him.

Ray wasn't interested in The Lawn Ranger, not even sparing him a glance as he ran for the exit with a wet patch on the front of his pants. No, he wanted the asshole on the kedge, who, despite all his friends falling like dominoes, remained on the high ground, knowing he had the advantage over the heroes if he stayed there.

While (y/n) picked off the stragglers on the floor, Ray bunny-hopped over the bar, risking everything and clambering up to where the villain waited with bared teeth. Hunched over with a thick metal pipe in his grip as a makeshift weapon, the man held his nerve until he had the fearsome Captain Man towering over him, and all he had to do was bellow to make the guy pee himself.

Shrieking like a terrified child, the metal pipe clattered on the floor concrete as the villain took the intelligent option and dove through a boarded-up window. He'd rather have a broken arm than any of the wounds the hero would inflict, leaving Ray gloating and smiling victoriously until he turned around to grin at his beloved wife. And what he saw made his vision fade to red.

In the time Ray had climbed up to the rafters, (y/n) had battled a handful of weakened villains. None were exceptionally challenging, running away when they knew they were beaten or collapsing when she swiftly overpowered them. But one guy was annoyingly tough--too stubborn to go down without a fight.

She'd punched him. That didn't work. She'd kicked him. He didn't even flinch. She even tried kneeing him in the groin, but apparently, he had balls of steel. He had, too; only those with some severe nerve had the guts to wrap their hairy hands around Miss Danger's throat. It all happened quickly; one minute, she held her own, blocking all of his rapid jabs, and the next, one hand came out of nowhere. It squeezed her airways too tightly to be comfortable.

She gasped, but no sound came out, nails scratching at his wrist as her tummy fizzled and popped with nerves, eyes sliding in her doofus' direction. Fighting for air, she kicked out at the man, weakly tapping his shins as her toes brushed the ground, threatening to lift her off her feet entirely when Ray finally noticed.

If there was one line a villain shouldn't cross, it was this one; they could hurt him all they wanted, but Miss Danger? She was off limits, so this asshole had to pay.

With his jaw clenched and teeth gnashing, Ray glanced around at his surroundings, knowing he had to get down there--and fast. He didn't want to risk the bastard spotting him, so he quickly set his sights on a chain by his elbow, unhooking it from a post before giving it a few tugs to check its strength.

As (y/n)'s eyes rolled back, he took his chance, swinging like Tarzan until his stretched leg collided with the guy's face. His body contorted and flipped from the sheer impact, separating him from the gasping heroine as he crumpled at her feet, setting her free. Her fingers rubbed at her sore throat, blinking back tears as Ray gracefully landed and glared at the knocked-out man, secretly wishing no one was looking so he could rain down a little more pain.

"Keep your dirty hands off my wife..." he snarled to deaf ears, panting as heavily as (y/n) as he stomped and loomed over the limp body. One second, he was all rage and testosterone, making the onlooking woman gulp as he stood there with his chest heaving and fists clenched. But the next, he turned to her, all doe-eyed and smiling, lightly stepping over and taking her into his arms like she was made of glass.

"Sweet girl, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Captain. Thank you for saving me..." (y/n) replied breathlessly, placing her palms against his chest as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, smiling sweetly. His hands tightened on her waist, humming throatily as he kissed her lips, slightly chapped from the fight, but he didn't mind.

"You can thank me later tonight," he whispered in her ear, lightly nibbling her earlobe as she breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into his embrace, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.

As if by magic, his hands glided over her back, soothing any soreness or ache from the battle, turning her into putty until she'd do anything he said, practically purring as he nuzzled her hair. She was safe; that was all Ray could think of, letting his anger melt away because he couldn't feel anything but love when he held her, swearing he'd found heaven when--

"Captain Man! Miss Danger! We got him."

"We got the book thief!" Two chirpy voices interrupted their bliss just when Ray was about to taste that sweet, sweet honey again. Annoyingly, (y/n) pulled away with warm cheeks, shy to see Chapa and Bose standing across the room, watching every moment as they held Book Thievin' Steven by his arms, preventing him from escaping. Those little...it was like they didn't want him to love his wife.

"Guys! Great job!" The heroine praised them, clapping her hands and nudging her doofus to at least smile as she noticed his irritated grimace from the corner of her eye. He was such a grumpy pants, moody because he didn't get a kissy--as if she wouldn't smother him with them when they got home.

But Ray begrudgingly conceded, offering the beaming kids a brief, proud smile as Steven groaned, wishing he was anywhere but the same room as the lovey-dovey couple. While Miss Danger was hot, it made him want to puke when he saw her...canoodling with Captain Man, turning that old stickler into a lovesick puppy - a bigger moron than ever. Of all the people to capture him, it had to be them - the gratingly in-love it-couple of the city.

"Now, let's see who he really is!" Bose exclaimed before roughly grabbing the criminal's chin, yanking and tugging his skin like his skin would peel away like a mask, revealing another man underneath. But this wasn't some slapstick cartoon, making Steven wince and yelp as the boy pinched his cheeks, much to his friends' amusement.

"Ahh! OW! My face!"

"BrainStorm, buddy...there's no mask," Ray told him gently, an arm wrapped around his wife's waist as she giggled. She couldn't say the thief didn't deserve it.

"Okay, so, what do we do with him?" The boy asked innocently, releasing Steven's cheeks with a disappointed pout as the man struggled against their hold. Still, the question made everyone stop and think, imagining plenty of suitable punishments, some stronger than others. Of course, Chapa and her vividly diseased imagination came up with the best ones.

"I have ideas..." She grinned at her teachers, waggling her eyebrows suggestively as her captive gulped. He wasn't stupid; he knew Volt was the least reasonable of the younglings Captain Man had recently taken under his wing. But surely, they wouldn't let him suffer, would they?

Would they?

Oh, they would.

Out of everything Steven had imagined for their cruel torture, this had to be the worst. He could've been hung, drawn, and quartered, but Miss Danger didn't like the mess. They could've ripped out his fingernails and mailed them to his mother, but ShoutOut thought that was too morbid. They could've banished him to the North Pole, but Volt said that was too babyish.

They bounced ideas around like a beach ball until the fiery-tempered girl suggested something utterly brilliant--borderline evil for those goody-goody lot. He begged them not to do it, pleading, praying, screaming he'd do anything else. They could brandish him a thief for all to see, and he swore never to steal again on pain of death. But no, his sobs fell on deaf ears.

Book Thievin' Steven needed to be taught a good, hard lesson, Chapa told her friends as she fastened a thick, corded restraint around his chest, having already bound his hands behind his back. After fleeing The Beatin' Dungeon, Danger Force, Miss Danger, and Captain Man brought the man back to the Man's Nest, sitting him on a chair in the middle of the room as the wicked girl cooked up their revenge.

It was simple, really; she'd had Schwoz prepare most of it, setting up a TV near the villain as it played a cosy recording of a crackling log fire since they didn't have one of their own. Across from that, Ray was all tucked up and relaxing in a ratty, worn armchair. It looked disgusting but was deliciously comfortable with its aged cushions and leather upholstery. He wasn't allowed to change out of his uniform, sitting by Steven and the fake fire with the pièce de résistance in his hand, waiting for the torture to commence.

"Please, don't..." Steven sniffled as Volt ensured his bonds were pulled tight and secure, ignoring the tears in his eyes as Ray flicked through a copy of Man! I Feel Like A Hero!

Oh, yeah. She went there. If there was one thing villains hated, it was Ray's book - the thing that put fear in their hearts more than death, destruction, or torture. This was worse than hell but a win-win situation for the hero. He waited patiently for his sweet girl to appear after she'd slipped away to change into something more comfortable, eager to snuggle up with him as he read to her like they did in bed every night.

That was where Chapa's secret weapon hid.

"I'll do anything!"

"Settle down, buddy. You're gonna be here for thirty-two Cap-ters, an epilogue, an alt ending, and a whole section at the end where I teach you whole to draw a cartoon version of me," Ray told Steven with an excited grin, having turned to page one. There was a lot more to get through, striking terror in the thief's chest as he turned to Chapa in one last bid for mercy - he couldn't bear the thought of listening to the hero droning on and on and on...

"No, no, no, no, please! Please! Please!" He sobbed, not that the girl cared. Rolling her eyes, she turned her back on him, smiling briefly at (y/n) as she entered the room in her pyjamas before returning to where the other kids sat at the couch table.

"Steven, my guy, there's no use in trying. Just sit there and take it like man," the woman advised him as she sauntered up to her doofus, looking utterly adorable in her silky pee-jays, save for the mask still stuck to her face. It was Miss Danger at the end of her day, looping around the armchair to smile at her husband, who finally tore his eyes away from his beloved book to see something far more precious.

"Hey, doofus...did I miss anything?"

"Nope, you're just in time, sweet girl, and you're even wearing my favourite shorts..." Ray cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice, giving her a knowing look before uncrossing his legs to welcome her into his embrace, tapping his thigh with his free hand. After such a long day, he wanted his wife as close as possible, especially when her legs went on and on and on for days in those booty shorts.

"Why don't you take a seat right here?"

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," she giggled, eagerly placing herself on his knee and leaning back into his chest. Her legs draped over the arm of the chair as her hand hovered behind his head to play with the tufts of his hair, wriggling in his embrace to get comfy.

There was no better spot in The Nest, in her opinion, tucking her face into the crook of his neck and placing a kiss there as Ray grinned, finally at peace now that he had her where he wanted. He put the book between them, resting it in her lap as he found his place again, murmuring some incoherent sweet nothings as Steven looked on in horror.

Aw, hell, no, he couldn't watch this.

"First! The introduction, written by me," Ray gloated, turning his chin slightly to find his wife's lips as she rolled her eyes. She knew this would be just one big boast battle for him, already knowing the life and secrets of the mighty hero, but she didn't mind. Nowadays, it was a luxury to spend so much quiet time with him, humming appreciatively against his lips to create a disgustingly unmistakable smacking sound.

"NOOOOOO! You can't expect me to sit here with these two...lovebirds! I'm gonna throw up!" Steven wailed, screwing up his face when he saw the couple locking lips--practically eating each other's faces. Where was Captain Man putting his hands?! They slid from her ribs to her waist and even curled around to cup her butt, pulling Miss Danger further onto his lap as he...groaned. Oh, God...

"Hot chocolate just tastes better after you catch a bad guy," Chapa sighed as she ignored the wails across the room.

The book was bad enough, but the real torture lay in forcing Steven to endure the couple's handsy, undying love and affection. They lived through it every day, seeing kisses, pinches, pats, and advances that scared their poor, pure minds. If they had to see it, so did he - a just punishment for such a heinous crime, and everybody won except for Steven.

"Everything does," Bose agreed, sipping his rich, sweet drink before taking a bit bite of the styrofoam cup. It was a wonder that he was still alive, making his friends wince in shame and confusion as he happily munched on the bland, chewy plastic like it was tasty - did he think it was food?

"Honey, don't..."

"Just let him..." Chapa sighed as Mika tried to warn the boy otherwise. Still, she knew it was useless - practically survival of the fittest by now. So, she reached for the thermos pitcher in the middle of the table as Miles eyed it hungrily since he apparently wasn't allowed any for the most trivial reasons.

"Can I get a little hot chocolate?" He asked the girl politely, only to receive a curt look as she stood up and took the thermos away.

"Did you catch a bad guy?"

"I saved ShoutOut," he replied as Mika smiled brightly, thinking that such a noble deed deserved a reward, given that it was arguably the other half of a hero's job. Stop a bad guy and save someone - wasn't that the job description?

"So, you caught a good guy?" Chapa hummed pedantically, toying with her friend for the sake of being difficult - mainly because the smoochy-smoochy sounds from that armchair were grating her nerves.

"Okay, that's not fair," Mika told her, acting as the voice of reason like always, but Chapa didn't listen. She merely sipped her hot chocolate and stiffened her upper lip, wanting the sweet, chocolatey goodness all to herself after nearly getting hounded by a group of vicious villains.

"Tastes pretty fair to me..." she sniffed, causing her friends to argue about how mean she could be sometimes.

(y/n) had said it once, but they'd say it again; if she wanted to have friends, she needed to be friendly, although none of it got through to her. The rowdy conversation soon broke the tranquillity of the Man's Nest, forcing the happy couple by the fire to stop kissing - even the notion - and sigh. How were they meant to subtly tease each other--or torture Steven if they couldn't hear themselves think?

"Hey, let's cut the chatter back there!" Ray yelled to them, his cheek smushed against (y/n)'s forehead as the room fell silent, much to his satisfaction. He'd finally perfected that line, settling into his comfy chair with his wife in his arms as he turned to the book's first words - the children's prompt to get up and leave.

And so, it began.

"Cap-ter one--The Beginning," he read aloud, ignoring the thief's sobs as the kids quickly scattered, not wanting to hear another line of that drivel or witness how their friend kissed up his neck.

"It all just kinda Captain'ed... My father was an irresponsible scientist, and it was Bring Your Kid To Work Day."

"Heh, I got that joke there, doofus," (y/n) giggled, utterly bored of hearing her husband's founding story for the billionth time, but she loved the little pun. He was so dorky and adorable, giving her that doofy grin as she stroked his cheeks, thankful she couldn't see Steven behind her. She could hear his whimpers and groans, but it spurred her with her open affection, knowing that this was supposed to be a punishment, and when in Rome...

"You liked it, sweet girl? Well, there's plenty more where that came from..." Ray grinned, leaning down to kiss her again, laying it on thick for their guest as he turned his nose up at the tongue action.

"Oh my God, can't you guys go do that in your own room?!" He shrieked in a panicked voice, legs flailing when Miss Danger freely rolled her body against her lover's, whispering something filthy in his ear as her hand trailed down his chest. Thank God Chapa was dozing far away on the couch with a cowboy hat covering her ears... It made him blush just picturing it.

"We already did," (y/n) replied over her shoulder, making her and Ray giggle like children as Steven audibly gagged. He'd wondered where they'd snuck off to when they first arrived at this hell hole. Still, now he had sick images in his mind, and now that he thought about it, the heroine's pyjamas were crumpled when she walked in...

"Twice." Oh, God, kill him now. Hell hath no fury like a doofus hath love for his sweet girl.

11 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 3: Ray Goes Cray (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*HOOOO, THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER. 31,000 words, mamacita! we're going straight in with some smut, and may I just say, I am quite proud of it. i was bored, sitting around my uni building, waiting for a VERY boring lecture, so...this...was born.

Como siempre, mis amigos--as always--if you are too young for the nasty, DO NOT READ THIS. there is also a spicy bit in the middle, and fear not! Ray will also get his fun times soon ;)

also. fun fact that i did not know: cooper barnes (ray irl) was born in the same city as me :0 ...he's secretly english!

Anywho—¡Vamos!

"Taste so fucking good..."

(y/n) dozed peacefully, basking in the morning sun peaking through her curtains. It was early - she didn't know how early, but her foggy brain begged for a few more minutes.

Dipping in and out of consciousness, she moaned softly, digging her chin into her feathery pillow as her skin warmed and prickled, feeling hazily heavenly. She couldn't remember another time when she'd woken up so peacefully in the morning--when the sanctuary of her bedroom made her feel so good...

Were the sheets really so soft? Soft enough to make her feel like she was floating? Waves of subtle pleasure rolled through her body, spreading to the tips of her limbs and rolling in the back of her mind as she hugged a corner of the duvet. It was a little strange; for how cosily stifling the room felt, her bare body was exposed, stripped of any covers, making her twitch to pull them over her chest.

"Such a sweet little thing..."

She hummed at the whispering voice, swearing she was dreaming as she nuzzled her pillow more, begging her mind to fall asleep. The alarm clock hadn't rang yet, so she rightfully had those few minutes to herself - just her, the massive, soft bed, and whatever that good feeling was.

She shifted slightly, rolling from her side to her back since her gut told her to. It murmured that she needed to widen her legs a little more, the warmth squeezing her flesh adding praises when she turned to jelly and relaxed. Her body seemed to move on its own like a marionette, utterly exposed, but that was okay - it felt too good to complain.

A quiet moan fell from her lips, nothing more than a hum, and a curled fist scrubbed over her eyes in tandem with a hot thing. It licked up her leg--like the sheets brushed her inner thigh, making her jerk slightly, but then it was soothed. Heat settled into her core as her arms flopped beside her head, nude breasts heaving and painted in gold from the expansive windows.

She loved the view, but she loved waking up to it more, squealing slightly as a jolt wracked her tummy.

"God, you're soaked... Wanna fuckin' drink."

That made her eyebrows twitch; too much of a sensation in her core to be deemed normal. She hadn't had breakfast yet, yet she felt so full, like there was a pit in her empty stomach. The thirst was worse, craving something on her dry tongue as it wrapped around a scratchy whine.

The fullness came and went - agonisingly slowly - yet left her hungering for more with an insatiable ache.

It was a puzzle. A whirlwind of conflicting information, no matter how good it felt to lie there and question nothing. She had a scientist's brain, and something--the little grey cells at the back of her mind--said that the sun could never feel this good.

It didn't treat her so gently, running from her collarbone, loitering on her tit, passing over her stomach and further. Slowly but surely, she came around, wondering if she was clutching at the last slips of a delightful dream when something nipped at her soft flesh before gently kissing somewhere in between. She never wanted to wake up if her mind could conjure such pleasure...

"Fuck, look at how you take me... Another, perhaps, sweet girl?" But the sun certainly didn't speak, and if it did, she doubted it would call her such names when it glowed so dazzlingly.

Her eyes fluttered open, breaking the illusion of sleep as her senses exploded, noting that it was a bright, sunny day. She'd forgotten to close the drapes, so she rose at dawn. The laundry basket was full, so she'd have to put a load in the washing machine. Schwoz had texted her, so she'd have to see what the fuzzy little weirdo wanted. She could even see a V-shaped flock of birds flying past the mountain, telling her that a new day had begun.

It was all very typical in the daily life superheroine, but something was missing. There were no arms around her waist, no warm lump for her leg to hook over, no nook to tuck her nose, and certainly no soft snores in her ear. No doofus. No Ray.

So, what was that...good feeling?

Picking her heavy head up from the pillow, chin pressed into her clavicle in a very flattering position, she quirked an eyebrow at the thatch of chocolate hair poking from between her thighs. All she could see were two reddened ears peeking through the floof - no eyes, nose, or mouth. But goddamn, could she feel them...

"Doofus?..." she mumbled, watching his feverish bobbing through bleary eyes once she realised where he'd sneakily disappeared.

"Yeah?" Ray asked casually, glancing up for the first time in an hour like it was the most natural thing in the world, regardless of whether his chin was slick from the mess at the apex of her thighs.

His eyes were wide and innocent as if she'd interrupted a good book or TV show--as if he hadn't slipped under the duvet after waking up early, throwing it off their blazing bodies when he decided to have a little one-on-one time. Just him and his best girl, reacquainting each other while his wife got the sleep she deserved.

"What are you doing?"

"I was hungry..." he replied with a shrug, slightly muffled since he refused to remove his lips from her slick lips, licking lightly as she sighed.

"Oh, God..." (y/n) gasped, not knowing if she was frustrated from how he woke her up to such an overwhelming feeling or if his tongue truly felt that good.

Everything was so blurry, lines between reality and dreamland crossing until that scientist's brain couldn't make heads or tails of the world, but one thing was for sure - the pleasure was intense. Stronger than usual, wildly when he flicked her clit lightly. She cried out, her hand sluggishly finding his hair as he groaned at the sweetness pooling on his tastebuds.

"So..." he continued, briefly pulling away to swallow and take a breather, "I cashed in a coupon."

"At six-thirty in the morning?" His wife retorted dryly, glancing at the clock to see that it was another early start because he thought with his cock, not his brain. She relaxed into the mattress, keeping her legs spread for him to resume his languid explorations, lapping at her fluttering hole.

Whenever he wanted more to drink, he slid two fingers inside, surprising her at the little resistance and the wetness pouring out of her. He eagerly collected every drop on his tongue, groaning at the honeyed taste, and it made her think he'd been at it for a while, fucking her gently until her mind caught up with her trembling body.

Those goddamn coupons, wrapped in several T-shirts and tucked into his suitcase for their flight home from Hawaii; Ray refused to leave them to go dusty on a shelf. No, he'd only used a handful and was eagerly waiting to cash them, not that he needed any more inspiration for their sex life.

"Whenever, wherever you said," the man noted, having etched her promise onto his frontal lobe so they never stopped using them. He suckled on her clit, obsessed with how he could crook his fingers and make her writhe - his very own puppet - but it was the nectar he was after.

A man couldn't live more than three days without climbing between her thighs, and he'd been quiet about it, settling below her without so much as a sound or accident. She slept longer than he had - who was his sweet girl to grumble?

"Okay, okay. But which one was it? The one where I can't sleep in?" (y/n) pouted moodily, yet didn't push him away. Her hand remained on his crown, encouraging him to keep doing whatever that thing was with his tongue as she brought the other to her breast, holding it gently, tweaking her nipple like he would if he wasn't busy.

"No...overstimulation." The deep growl made her shudder, heightened by her fingers' sensation. He said it so casually, resuming his work like it was nothing, squeezing her thigh as he quickly picked up the pace. His digits plunged her cunt further, hungry for more now that she was awake and tempting him with her breathless moans and bratty remarks--fuck, her fingers in his hair.

Seeing her sleeping and writhing was one thing - so fucking hot. She mewled in her sleep, bucked her hips like she was dreaming of having him in her pussy while he sucked the juices out of her, but nothing compared to how she called his name. His precious wife moaned his name under her breath when he slowly slid his thick ring finger inside her, bumping the cool metal against her folds as hers glinted in the sunlight.

He could only imagine what raced through her mind as he flexed against the mattress. Still, he liked to think she dreamed of him above her, legs around his waist, nails digging into his back, and a Hawaiian sunset outside. He hoped to give her the same satisfaction in her imagination as he did now, grinding his weeping cock into the fitted sheet like he was back at the beach with her.

That's how he got the idea for the coupons. Yet to see all that in real life, waking up with glowing skin and her half-lidded eyes, ordering him to service her like only she could - a man could go feral.

"Overstimulation?" (y/n) gasped, whimpering when he squeezed her thigh a little tighter, too caught up in his thoughts to realise how she'd been toying with her tits and tugging on his scalp.

"Yeah. A breakfast coupon, so I can get my fill of this pretty pussy," Ray smirked, licking his upper lip while calmly releasing her leg to reach for her smooth breast. He'd never lie to her, utterly besotted and softening as he felt its weight resting against his palm, thumb brushing over her nipple.

His darling wife mewled and dropped her head back as the movement worked in tandem with his fingers, loudly fucking her needy cunt. He couldn't wait to fuck her out of her mind, having had much experience giving her two, three, or even four orgasms a night. But how many was her limit? How far could he go until she screamed, her throat raw, soaking the sheets?

He wanted to find out--for science. Definitely for science. And maybe just to see his beloved wife fucked-out, wrecked, sweating, and jelly-like in their bed.

"And I must say she knows how to feed a guy."

"Is that so?" (y/n) replied as calmly as she could muster, with his forearm jerking faster, plunging in and out between her thighs. She tried to keep her voice level, core clenching at the thought of him milking her for all she had. It sounded like a challenge, and Captain Man never backed down from those, camping with his mouth ready to collect as she squirmed.

She felt it again--the sensitivity. Her head flinched to the side, cheek pressed into the pillow when the butt of his palm rubbed her clit, sending sparks along her spine. She never usually came so quickly, nor did it feel so intense, but Ray got her there, briefly leaning up to peck her neck, jaw, and lips as his leaking cock brushed her thigh.

Fuck, she wanted it.

"Yep! Made you cum twice before I even saw those gorgeous eyes of yours. That has to be a new record!" He gloated happily like he'd come first in a school race or beaten the smartest kid in class in a math test. She choked at the news, suddenly knowing why her cunt clenched so readily--why it wasn't gentle like a ripple in a pond as usual.

He brought her to her third orgasm, having ripped the first two from her body while she dozed in the pleasure. No wonder she felt so good, lying there, letting him have his merry way as she came and came, giving him the honey he so desperately wanted while she twitched in her sleep. And it wasn't even seven AM yet...

"Raymond, I'm--I'm not a--a fucking Nintendo..." she gasped indignantly, hips jerking as he worked to bring her to completion again, remembering how she came so prettily for him earlier. But for someone so talkative, she arched her back and rocked her hips into his hand, pulling his face further into her pussy, among him smirk. Needy little girl.

Even in her sleep, she responded to his touch only, cumming with only a quick finger and kiss on her clit. He loved it, leaving her breast alone to sling a heavy arm over her stomach so he could savour the third.

"But sweet girl...I play with you so well..." he remarked gently but oh-so cockily, mouth wide open with his tongue out and ready to catch her slick when she climaxed again. It wrung her out, a wave of intense pleasure erupting through her stomach as he groaned and slurped, loving how her slick spread to his wrist.

She fought against his hold, gasping and swearing to God as his muscular arm kept her near his mouth, growling that he wasn't fucking finished drinking yet. He swallowed his fill, promising he could die then and there and go to his reward without regret, save that he didn't get to have one last drop.

His fingers didn't slow, not even when she jerked and cried, shouting that it was too much, too soon, too fast, but he worked her through the sensitivity. Tears clung to her eyelashes, but she looked so damn pretty, eventually loosening her iron grip on his forearm when the painful sensitivity became burning pleasure--hotter than before.

"Fuck--doofus--fuck me now?" She asked weakly, thinking she'd just about survive combustion if she had him inside her, craving the stretch of his thick cock carving her walls apart. His pace was torture, but she couldn't tell him to stop, suddenly feeling another climax in her stomach, slowly and steeply building.

She rarely got four in one night - although it wasn't unheard of. For all his selfishness, Ray was a giver at heart, grinning into her folds as he slurped and sucked around his fingers, knowing he could beat his personal best. Usually, he paced her, spreading them out throughout the day or giving her breaks in between.

But no; today, he wanted to truly break her--and it would be by his hand, even if his cock wept against the mattress.

Unhurriedly and gently, he kissed her clit, murmuring praises to his second favourite girl as she provided such refreshment. His hips bucked when his wife moaned, thrashing wildly at the lewd sounds coming from her mouth and soaked pussy, unknowing if she wanted to cum again or push him away. But her arms were like noodles, limply resting by her side or on his head, taking without complaint, except that she wanted more.

"You'll cum on my fingers and love it, pretty girl. I'm not fucking you," the man told her firmly, slapping her meaty thigh as (y/n) through her head back, whining childishly. It was so unlike her, but the thought of such a denial made her cry more than the bittersweet relief, wriggling her hips and stomping her foot into the springs in a small temper tantrum.

"Pleeeeaaaseee? So fucking wet--just slide right in..."

Another slap landed on her flesh, tearing a choked moan from her swollen lips when her lover yanked his fingers from her tight hole at lightning speed, bringing them down on her abused cunt. Her entire body jerked, shocked by a jolt of violent pleasure surging from her clit and the sudden change as he reentered her body before he lost her fourth orgasm.

"True..." he remarked smugly, drawing circles with the tip of his tongue as he settled down again, broad shoulders keeping her pinned legs spread for his feast. He wouldn't have any brattiness, crystal eyes glaring over the curve of her tummy as a warning - his coupon, his rules.

It was like he'd never left, resuming his frenzied pace as she tugged on his brown hair, tears pooling in her ears as he chuckled. That tantrum didn't last long, her body melting into the bed to take whatever the fuck he gave her--and she'd be grateful. His cock would be nice, but having his pursed lips create a vacuum around her clit and his finger knuckle-deep in her pussy was good enough.

"Shit, you were made for this, weren't you?" Ray groaned, prodding a third finger at her entrance as she began to mellow, so slick his fingers barely provided any sweet friction. A wail left her as the extra digit slid in without issue, stretching her walls perfectly and coaxing more wetness onto his tongue.

He marvelled at how she accommodated him when he leaned back to pant and admired her precious centre, velvet clinging to his hand, pulling him in. So fucking needy...she was so innocent and demure, outwardly pretending she was above such debauchery. Yet, she took half his hand like it was nothing, sobbing filth into her palm as a soft sheen dappled her skin.

"Mm-hmm... So, fuck me. Fuck your wife," she challenged, rocking her hips toward him suggestively--daring him to say to hell with it all and use her pussy in its rawest form. And she knew his most profound weakness--of course, she did.

His eyes clouded further - if possible - as she weakly cupped his cheek, ensuring she pressed her fourth finger into his skin so he could feel the smooth pinkish gold of her warmed ring. If their honeymoon taught her anything, he got off on his wife--how she was tied to him forever. Their vows, the intimacy, the domesticity, the idea of being a family made her husband feral.

Ray would be a liar if he said he didn't think about it because who was he to ignore his wife's demands? He lived to serve her, and if she wanted his cock, she could have it--God knows he was aching to slip in, pound and paint her walls until it stuck. But before that, he just wanted to try something...

"Now, now, darlin'. How am I supposed to drink every last drop if I'm not down here waiting for it? 'M not wasting anything."

He grinned, sucking on one of her folds, pulling it into his mouth and nibbling--just to hear her squeal for his sadistic satisfaction. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, y'know..."

"You're such a d-dork," (y/n) gulped, continuously licking her lips between gulps of air, not needing to look to know he was laughing at his joke. The vibrations rolled with his tongue, lodging a groan in her throat, making her feet hover next to his ears--it almost felt too good.

"I could stop if you want..."

"Fuck--don't you dare!" She growled, eyes breaking open when she frowned, too close now to stop. It would be fucking cruel to deprive her as she hung over the edge, waiting to topple over on his command--when his fingers hit that special spot again.

They flexed inside her again, rotating slightly at a different angle as Ray beamed and pulled one leg over her shoulder. He didn't care if it ached, leaning it back to press his face into his happy place, unbothered if it funnily squished his nose. This oasis was heaven for a parched, six-foot-something, doofy man.

"That's my girl." He smiled, returning to affectionately kiss and nuzzle her clit. As if he could leave such a treasure without giving her a little sugar, hand blurring as it mercilessly plunged into her pussy, sensing the first ripples of her end. "How close are you?"

"So fucking close--shit, I--I can't cum again, Ray--" she gasped, head jolting from side to side as her stomach clenched and spasmed, becoming impossibly tight.

How could she forget who he was? Captain Man had a learned speed, moving faster than most and with such power. He relentlessly milked her for his benefit, getting off on her orgasms more than she did, but she didn't care. His heavy arm kept her still, allowing him space and time to curl those three fingers inside her as his hips shuffled against the mattress, rocking the bed.

"Yes, you can," he groaned, forcing himself to keep his eyes open even as he fucked the bedsheets, pretending they were her cunt wrapped around him. "Give it to me, sweet girl. I want it...feel it coming."

It hit her like a freight train, slamming hard enough to make her howl and scream at his word--like she'd ever cum without permission. Always his good girl. Her fists tightened, nearly shredding whatever cotton she could grab as he laughed into her pussy, delighted by the slobbery mess on his tongue, gulping everything down, shaking his flexing muscles through her walls.

He briefly removed his fingers to lap at the source, humping the air when a gush streamed into his mouth, imprinting on his memory forever. Two fingers parted her lips, inspecting her quivering hole, remarking he could fuck her now, and she'd still fit like a second skin. But he wouldn't, staying on his stomach as his dark gaze studied his perfect wife - and the mess she'd made.

"Too fucking good to me, sweet girl..." Ray praised her, pulling away momentarily to smooch her inner thigh and regain his breath. Her skin glowed in the morning light, sticky and searingly hot, but she looked beautiful, even if she could barely open her eyes. He loved her like this, too weak and tired to do anything, and it gave him the job he craved more than anything - to be the one who cared for her in this most vulnerable state.

"And, goddamn, so sweet you are..." His arm stretched over her body until his fingertips brushed her lips, smearing her slick around them. Her mouth dropped open feebly, moaning softly when they pushed inside to share what gave him the fucking will to live before he pulled them away.

Perhaps it made him greedy, but he wanted every drop to himself, licking at the trickle that ran down his wrist and forearm, sucking on each finger down to the last knuckle until his hand was clean. Four was a lot, yet as his beloved wife lay there, breathless, exhausted, and beautiful, a dastardly idea came into his mind.

"...One more," he declared quietly, and much to (y/n)'s shock, gasping loudly, his fingers slipped into her cunt once more.

She swore she couldn't do it three fingers full, again, and more sensitive than she'd ever been, an overwhelming pressure bubbling in her belly as he slowly pumped in and out. A single kiss was placed on her pubic mound, his head lazily resting on her shaking thigh as he toyed with her--as if he was experimenting, rubbing her clit like a kid who--couldn't--stop--touching--

"No, no--no, Ray, I can't--"

"Let me try, sweet girl. Come on, one last time..." he murmured, using his most soothing, velvetiest voice to ease her worries because he knew her limits. He knew when she'd had enough. He knew when to back off. She could leave that to him, and he'd take care of her. Always had, always would, so he curled his digits and renewed his efforts, going deeper and harder than before, if not as fast.

A strangled shriek left her, shattering the peace of the early hours as a pillow soared through the air, landing halfway across the room. She thrashed, kicked, and screamed, pounding her fists beside his head before roughly yanking at his hair, nearly pulling out clumps.

This was too good, feeling like a rocket was about to burst through her tummy, a different kind of pressure quivering in her core. Honestly, it frightened her a little. Something felt off - not a bad off, but it had never happened before, making her think something was wrong as her walls convulsed like crazy, untying a knot she didn't know was there.

"Wait, Ray--I--I'm not--I'm gonna---fuck!" Before she could say anything else, push him away, or work out what had happened, the world went black - the only thing in her eyesight was a tiny white pinprick like when she turned off her grandma's TV.

The last thing she heard was Ray's groan; it sounded like he was underwater as her body went limp, falling into the deepest, most comfortable sleep of her life in what could've been an eternity for all she knew.

Between her thighs, the man fucked her through the hottest thing he'd seen in his life, mouth wide open, tongue arched over his bottom lip when she gushed onto his hand. Not a droplet, a trickle, or even a wave, but a waterfall of sickly sweet liquid dousing his face's lower half in what had to be more than a mouthful. It didn't stop, pouring out of her in jets, thoroughly soaking the bed below her, and (y/n) didn't even know.

She'd fucking squirted. And it was hot.

"Oh, fuuuuuuuck--" Ray sang his praises as he slurped whatever he could get, thinking that if sipping on her cunt was heaven, this was nirvana. He wished he'd recorded it, wanting to replay the moment over and over again when, to his utter surprise, she came out of nowhere, and the fifth time was the charm.

In all his born days, he'd never made anyone squirt, for all his experience and past lovers, believing it was a pornographic myth, so to see his sweet girl turning into his personal fucking fountain...he'd never recover. It ruined him - honestly, truly, completely wrecked him, leaving the mighty hero gasping and pussy-drunk against the sheets as she lay there - seemingly lifeless, yet glowing.

It took a moment to catch up with reality, swallowing and swallowing and swallowing without thought until he realised that his precious wife was motionless. Head back, arms bent beside her ears at an awkward angle, mouth propped open from that final scream. Thanks to his godly prowess, she was out for the count, dozing better than any sleeping pills could ever provide.

"Sweet girl?" Ray called out gently, stroking and squeezing her thigh as he waited for a response. Nothing, not even a flutter of her eyelashes in recognition.

"Pretty girl?" He tried again, gulping the honey on his tongue to speak louder, but still, she didn't move.

"(y/n)?" This time, it was more like a whimper as he crawled up her body, careful not to trample her noodley limbs. Hovering over her body, his frame supported by a beefy pillar beside her temple, his knuckles dragged down her cheek, catching on her tacky skin, but he didn't notice.

All he cared about was that he'd fucked his wife unconscious--perhaps fucked her too well. He kissed her forehead, bottom lip wobbling, tears lining his lashes when she didn't respond, and guilt pooled in his stomach. He'd wanted that last one--wanted to smash his record of getting five orgasms under his belt in less than an hour, but he'd gone too far.

The only consolation was that he'd married a strong woman. A capable woman. A woman with super-regeneration, so he didn't lose himself in panic, streaking down the hall to get help. The last thing he wanted was to go find Schwoz and tell him that he accidentally broke his wife after fingering her too much. It would break his handyman, too.

He'd never get over the shame, so he padded off to the bathroom, ensuring he left her comfortable with the quilt pulled up to her chin lest she get cold. Quickly soaking a rag in cold water and filling a small glass, he returned and left them on the bedside table before tucking himself into her side.

Like a lost child, he nuzzled into her chest, chastely pecking the curve of her breast as he gazed up at her. Now, it was just a waiting game, endlessly praying that she'd wake up soon as he stiffened like a sardine. It didn't matter if they lay in grimy sheets, tired and dehydrated; he had to see those pretty eyes to put his mind at ease.

So, he waited, and waited..until fifteen minutes had passed, never once moving or leaving his place by her side.

"D--doofus?" A croaky voice creaked as its owner sank into the land of the living again, feeling like she'd been hit by a bus.

(y/n) woke with a thudding in her core, heart, and head, yet for all her heaviness and exhaustion, she felt strangely...complete. Like an emptiness had been filled, soothing any complaint she had, and that's when it came flooding back to her. Rough fingers, deep growls, a pleasurable fullness as a brief torrent ravaged her thighs - a mythical sensation.

"(y/n)?" Ray gasped, eyes darting up from where he'd been re-memorising every bump, freckle, dimple, stretch mark, and inch of cellulite on her body. To his delight, he saw a crinkled smile staring back, warming his heart when he realised that his precious wife had woken up - exhausted and delirious, but she was awake. At long last.

He leapt onto his elbow, pulling the comforter entirely off her body, so he could check for injuries or some shit--like he'd just lay there and let her hurt. She was fine, reaching up to stroke her fingers through his bed-head, her arm aching like all hell.

"You know I don't like it when you call me that... Sounds weird," the woman joked, nose wrinkling at how serious he sounded, unlike the carefree, lovable idiot she'd married. She didn't know what had happened, but she was sure it didn't warrant her yucky given name; she was too used to all those sickly pet names.

"Shit, sorry, sweet girl, but you scared me."

"How?" She frowned, leaving his hair alone to thread her fingers through his, holding his hand since he clearly needed it. They were together in their bedroom, wrapped up in a post-orgasmic glow, so to see him trembling and on the verge of tears nearly made her cry in sympathy. Her poor doofus - he looked like a kicked puppy...

"Passing out on me like that. Thought I'd...broken my wife," he confessed quietly, pulling her wrist to his mouth so he could smooch her pulse point loudly--just glad that it still thrummed under his lips.

He'd genuinely been afraid for a second, hearing her heartbeat but seeing no other signs of life, meaning those fifteen minutes were the longest of his life. What would he do without her? Knowing that he'd hurt her, even in the throes of passion, killed him and cut into his soul a little bit, but as he subconsciously drifted away, (y/n) pulled him back in.

She pressed their bodies together, enjoying his bare skin on hers as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a long, slow, passionate kiss. While a little timid at first, Ray soon groaned into her mouth, submitting himself for her pleasure as she ran her tongue along the seam of his lips. Now, this felt good...

"What happened? I remember having the best damn orgasm of my life, and then everything went black." She glanced away briefly, hearing nothing but their ragged breaths once they pulled away, tentative but as intimate as always.

"You ever squirted before, darlin'?" He asked quietly, smoothing his hand over her curves as her eyebrows knitted together.

It almost made her recoil, putting something like that down to the job of a...night flower or someone similar. Of course, she'd read about it, but then again, it was confined to the trashy women's magazines, something her limited previous partners never had the talent or interest to achieve.

"No..."

"Well, it's fucking hot." His boyish grin said everything, and her mouth dropped open, much like he had done, when she felt the wetness between her thighs, under her ass, seeped into the sheets.

Fuck, she'd have to put them in with the next laundry load, but under his proud gaze, there was no room to be ashamed. It felt like an accomplishment, especially when she caught the slight sheen on his chin and chest, which certainly wasn't sweat. So, that would explain the peculiar but not unwelcome taste she'd found when kissing him.

"Safe to say I won't need coffee after drinking from you this morning."

"That's...oddly sweet," the woman giggled, tilting her head back when her husband kissed her cheek and jaw, utterly besotted with the walking pin-up he'd scored. Of all the girls he'd loved before, and there'd been many, no one compared to her, not when she held him in her arms like he was born to be there.

"Not half as sweet as you."

"Someone's trying to get lucky..." she teased, holding his face to her neck, enjoying the ticklish sensation when it dawned on her. She'd cum five times, but Ray? He'd not cum once, and that seemed highly unfair.

"I can't feel my legs, but I'll suck your cock, doofus. Let you cum down my throat..."

"Um...that's okay."

Four-Oh-Four, (y/n) not found. She blinked in surprise when her doofus, the world's horniest man, the man who seduced her and had her in his bed on their second day of dating, the man who fucked her every morning without fail, the man who'd just fingered her unconscious...had refused a blowjob. It just didn't make sense.

He lived to see her on her knees. He'd die to have his tongue wrapped around his cock while he lied back and guided her movements. If he couldn't fill her pussy, she could be damn sure he'd drink every last drop.

He just wasn't the type of guy to decline her eager affection, and it made her mad? Concerned? Offended? Disappointed? Maybe a mix of all four.

"Okay, are you broken?" She blinked, gently pulling back on his hair until she saw his bashful expression. "'Cause I just offered to suck you off, and you turned it down. Are you even my doofus?"

"Yeah...I'm yours," Ray quickly nodded, strangely too shy to meet her eye. Still, he revelled in her love, not embarrassed to rub his cheek against her shoulder affectionately as he cast his gaze downward. "But, I, uh...took care of it."

(y/n) followed his stare, going down their bodies as he shuffled back a bit, revealing a distinct wet patch on the bed, and this time, it wasn't from her.

She knew what she saw: a thick, pearly, sticky liquid clinging to the fitted sheet, right where he'd been jerking his cock to her quivering and moaning. His cock was flaccid, untouched yet fulfilled, with the slightest smear of cum on his inner thigh, but really, his pinks ears and cheeks gave it away.

"Oh." Was all she said, blankly meeting his eyes again as her face warmed too, although hers was more from the power surge. Pride bloomed in her chest, feeling like she should shout from the rooftops that she'd made the great Captain Man cum early without touching his dick - the guy who could fuck for hours and still hold his nerve. Talk about pussy power - hers was fucking magical.

"Yeah," the man shrugged, slightly embarrassed when she chuckled, but it was worth it when she returned to dotting kisses over his face, placing a final one on the tip of his nose.

If anything, she was flattered, knowing they had two mattress protectors underneath them for a reason. It was so he could flex his coupons all he wanted, and her honeymoon plan had worked; that had to be one of the steamiest sessions of their lives.

"Guess it was hot, huh?" She smiled, closing her eyes when his head fell to the crook of her neck. They'd rest for a bit longer, just until their alarm clocks rang, and then some more.

"Sweet girl...you have no idea."

~Swellview Academy for the Gifted~

It was another school day. A new morning, new lessons, and more wisdom for Ray and his sweet girl to impart to their young and impressionable pupils.

To start things off nicely, (y/n) had planned a test for Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa - nothing huge, just a few notes to ensure they remembered the curriculum. It should've been easy, but nothing was ever straightforward in SWAG, which she and her doofus quickly learned when they gathered around in the classroom, ready to explain what the kids had to do.

The couple stood at the front of the classroom, waiting for their students to settle down, but that was easier said than done. They watched tiredly, pacing slightly whilst Ray tapped a baseball bat against his palm as the kids rolled around on gym balls. It was funny seeing how they boinged around on their butts and tummies. Still, it was also pathetic, given that four soon-to-be professional heroes were currently being bested by some big bouncy balls.

"Doofus?"

"Yeah, darlin'?" Ray hummed as he frowned at the ridiculous sight of pupils, turning to wrap an arm around her shoulders and brush his lips against her forehead.

"You look handsome today..." (y/n) cooed as she raked a hand down his front, feeling his stiff muscles under her fingers.

He smiled at that, feeling his core clench at her touch and flirty tone, glad he had something to make him happy since his team was failing so miserably. Her eyes couldn't leave his body, thinking he looked unbelievably hot in his tight T-shirt, a simple thing, yet it made her thirsty like they hadn't...all week. For some reason, she felt extra touchy today, making even his grumpiness seem hot.

"I don't look handsome every day?" He flirted back, trailing his hand down her arm as she gave him what Henry always called her "goo-goo eyes". God, how many times he had to leave the room because he saw that look...

"Of course, but..." she trailed off, not-so-subtly glancing from his lips to his belt buckle as Ray pushed his chest out. Admittedly, they'd gotten out of bed a little earlier than morning to set up this test, so affection was few and far between, but, usually, he was the flirtatious one, not that he was complaining.

"Are we doing anything after this class?"

"I don't think so..." he grinned, catching her drift when she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, even as the kids flailed and groaned. She was unusually needy, knowing it had been a long few weeks, with opportunities for alone time few and far between. It wasn't easy for lie-ins when four kids were pounding on the door at eight-thirty every morning.

"Why do you wanna f--"

"Ah!" His lips, curled in a smirk at first, twisted into a frown when a familiarly scarlet bolt of electricity zipped past (y/n)'s body, narrowly missing her arm if it wasn't for the pearlescent glow in her eyes.

Sensing danger before it hit, she bowed her back and arched into her husband to avoid getting hurt. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her pressed against his rugged chest as he glared at Chapa, who obviously didn't mean to fry her teacher. Still, she couldn't control a little current escaping her fingers as she stretched over the squishy ball.

Retirement didn't sound so bad right now - what did a man have to do to get a moment's peace to flirt with his wife?

"All right, that's enough!" Ray growled, turning off a digital timer on the board since the test was now useless. Everything was ruined, and hearing (y/n)'s little gasp when she dodged the jolt was the last straw. He really was Mr. Grumpy Pants today...

"How'd we do?" Bose asked breathlessly as they stopped wriggling around, although Chapa flopped onto the floor with a grunt. The couple looked at them with a cringing disdain, wondering where they went so wrong because this was just the beginning - so very simple.

"Poorly!" the hero replied gruffly, which wasn't the best thing for poor Mike to hear. She wasn't one to fail tests, something (y/n) related to, and instantly felt uncomfortable knowing they'd fail because she needed academic success as personal validation.

"Can we practice tonight and retake this test tomorrow?" She begged, appealing to the heroine's kindness and mercy since she knew that if anyone could master the art of bouncy-ball-sitting, it was her. Smashing the competition was what she did.

"This wasn't even the test! We just thought it would be fun if you guys sat bouncing for a while!" (y/n) sighed and scrubbed her face with an open palm, feeling her lust fade away, wondering where her instructions went so wrong. Of course, she'd planned something much more complicated to test their heroic abilities - what would bouncy balls do?

"Why don't you sit bouncing if you think it's so easy?" Chapa sneered, feeling humiliated that she'd bellyflopped the floor after floundering like a fish. And all because they wanted to have fun? She laughed at that, giving the adults her usual sulky pout.

But Ray -shockingly- didn't rise to her challenge, scrunching his nose before pulling the remote control from his pocket. He blasted each gym ball, turning them to ash and cinder so the kids fell against the tiles again now that the fun was over. He was such a killjoy but didn't dwell on their failure, waltzing to the lectern to begin his lecture, yet not realising how his wife watched his every move with catlike eyes.

"The real test is about to begin..." he revealed, and they quickly got to their feet, eager to please if he gave them the chance.

"Okay, who can tell us the easiest crime to commit?" (y/n) asked, rubbing elbows with her doofus, the slightest touch making her tummy flutter. She wasn't usually so needy, but there was something about him today... But she had to focus on her teaching, giving the children one of her bright, warm smiles to show them that she didn't care if they got it wrong - she just wanted their best.

"Jaywalking!"

"Jay-dancing!" Mike and Bose suggested with rapid-fire enthusiasm. Chapa, however, wasn't so chirpy, standing there with her arms crossed as Miles took his time--like always.

"Stealing my phone!"

"White-collar crime. Rarely prosecuted," the boy retorted, knowing a strange amount of real-world issues for someone so young. His voice was so dry, but he was confident, knowing he was correct even if they weren't expecting it.

"You're all wrong--except for Miles," (y/n) grinned, feeling like she was genuinely imparting her knowledge, and the boy nodded smugly.

"No, we're talking about a crime that's so easy, it's like taking candy from a baby--" Ray grinned sneakily, a strange glint in his eye as he teased the group, refusing to tell them what he had planned. While his sweet girl covered the learning side, he liked to make things fun, often roping his faithful handyman into his schemes since he'd never do anything humiliating himself. So, right on cue...

"SCHWOZ!" He yelled, looking at the room at the back of the classroom, where someone could take the stairs to the Man's Nest if they wanted to. The genius skipped into the room with a moody expression gracing his face as he briskly passed the children, looking like he was regretting his life choices.

And why wouldn't he? Per his boss' instructions, he wore a ridiculously garish onesie instead of his overalls, looking stupid with the puppy-print fabric tucked into his work boots and a giant rainbow lollipop in his fist. He felt silly, hearing the giggles around the room as he twirled before standing still, acting like an infant just because Ray threatened to fire him if he didn't comply. It wasn't fair, but he needed this job...

"I am Baby. I loves me lolly, and I hope no one takes from me..." he said bitterly, glaring at the couple across the room--at Ray because he forced him to do this, and (y/n) because she tried and failed to hide her laughs. She chuckled into her hand, thinking he was the fuzziest, cutest, yet weirdest baby she'd ever seen, and he wasn't impressed.

"So, you want us to stop you from taking candy from a baby?" Mika asked, understanding what Ray meant now that she saw Schwoz, and (y/n) nodded.

"Oh, not us! My sweet girl would never hurt a baby, and I'm far too good a person for that," the man replied innocently, making his wife roll her eyes because she knew of his lesson plan. It was strange and wacky but totally Ray, and whilst schwoz wasn't happy with being roped into his schemes, he couldn't wait to impart his knowledge.

"You're stopping..." he paused, turning away from the kids and bending over, swiftly rubbing his fingers through his hair and pressing something sticky on his upper lip before turning around again.

"ROY!" The man declared, spinning around to glare at the puzzled team with a crazed look in his eye, looking deranged with his hair all mused and a fake moustache plastered under his nose. Ray--or Roy as he called himself--sneered at the kids, who didn't understand what he was playing at when he crept around the mini-stage, much to his sweet girl's exasperation. Most schools weren't like this...

"Roy?" Miles frowned with his eyebrows knitted together.

"It's Ray but evil..." (y/n) explained tiredly, nudging her doofus in the ribs when he tried to stick his face near hers, grunting like a weirdo as he acted as this...character.

"And I hope he no takes me lolly!" Schwoz whimpered fakely, pretending to be scared as he wiggled the candy in his slightly sticky hand. Honestly, he wasn't paid enough for this.

"Oh, Roy's takin' that lolly...unless somebody...stops me," Ray growled in his adenoidal voice before creeping forward like some kind of Scooby Doo character--all exaggerated with his crooked fingers and giant steps. The kids didn't need to be told twice, readying themselves for the mentor's bizarre challenge. Chapa stepped up first, sliding in front of Ray, determined to prove herself after so many weeks of failing with her electricity.

"Get zapped!" She hissed, immediately thrusting her arms forward to release some sparks, but still, her aim was terrible. Whilst she could conjure her power, when it burst forth from her fingertips, it whizzed past Ray's body, going wide and forcing (y/n) to hop the sidelines with a yelp. The man smirked smugly, standing like a statue as the girl desperately tried to hit him. Still, he didn't even need to try and protect himself - she couldn't even hit a stationary target.

"No!"

"Okay, maybe not--maybe this one!" Chapa grunted, trying again with her other hand, releasing a small fork of lightning that barely brushed his ear. Even if she aimed correctly, it wasn't exactly a bolt from the heavens, just a tickle to sting the skin and make someone jump.

"Miss!"

"This one! Stop--stop dodging!" Her open palm shot a bolt toward the ceiling, and the more she tried to zap that smirk off his face, the more Chapa grew frustrated. Her aim grew worse, blasting everything but Ray as he chuckled, so she swore he was cheating, swaying out of her range before her electricity could land.

"Didn't even have to dodge. Roy don't dodge!" Ray retorted, loudly whispering to the kids and winking at his sweet girl like it was a secret. (y/n) suppressed her smile as Mika, Bose, and Miles rolled their eyes, rooting for their friends more than their cocky teacher.

Even though it was a little mean to taunt her, he wasn't wrong, standing in the same old spot as she kept sparking, only to release a bolt that ricocheted off the smartboard and zipped back toward her body. It shot past her head and hit poor Schwoz in the eye, making Baby whine as he clutched his face, wondering what he did to deserve such rough treatment.

"Dang it!" Chapa growled, scolding herself for failing the test since she obviously had. She wasn't an expert at this rescue thing yet, but she was pretty confident that shooting the vulnerable victim wasn't heroic.

"You failed to stop Roy--next!" Ray announced with a tiny dab, thinking he was so hip and down with the kids with the dance moves he'd seen on Twitflash. After Chapa sulkily returned to the lineup, Bose skipped into the middle, not knowing what was happening. Still, he'd give it his best shot--and all with his usual innocently sweet smile.

"Did it get a little cloudy in here? 'Cause I think a Brainstorm's a-brewing!" He quipped, proud of himself for thinking of something so witty since Ray liked it when they said cool things before attacking. As much as he wanted them to be swift and efficient, he loved a little flare, appreciating the clever wordplay from a kid typically so dense.

"Ooh, sick entrance line. Roy approves! Let's see how you do with the execyoosh!" Ray cackled, sneaking back onto the lecturing stage as Bose prepared himself.

Like always, he pressed two fingers against his temples and outstretched the other hand, aiming to lift Ray's baseball bat with his telekinesis. For something made of light yet durable aluminium, the boy made it look impossible, grunting and straining as his curled hand attempted to raise what felt more like a boulder than a bat. It moved a little, sliding across the floor limply as Ray stared at it blankly, knowing the boy's plan would be too obvious if he was a villain.

"How is that supposed to stop Roy?" He asked thickly, throwing the kid a bored expression when the baseball bat floated horizontally, shaking terribly as Bose struggled to concentrate.

"Whack him, Bose!" Mika encouraged him excitedly, hoping he'd manage to hit the hero and end his smugness.

He groaned again, feeling like his brain was about to explode as he crooked a finger, commanding the bat to move slightly, picturing a cartoonish image of a crook getting beaten over the head with a bat. However, his wasn't precisely a damning blow--more like a gentle pat as it lightly tapped Ray's perky butt, making (y/n) giggle as it jiggled like jelly. Bose dropped the metal bat with a deep sigh, feeling exhausted despite the gentle exercise.

"Sorry, guys..." he panted at his friends, his chest rapidly rising and falling as Ray rolled his eyes, easily distracted by the pretty girl at the lectern.

"One more grunt, and I'd have to change my pants again today."

"Thanks for the weapon, kid. Roy played baseball in high school. Four hundred RBIs--could've gone pro if it wasn't for Roy's dang knee..." Ray said wistfully, going into a surprising amount of detail as he pouted at his injured leg like he'd genuinely lived this other life--all in the third person, apparently. It gained him a few weird looks from the kids and his wife, who wanted to know how long he'd been picturing Roy and his evil life after they'd planned this lesson.

"How deep is Roy's backstory?" She asked, looking amused as Ray turned to her with an enamoured smile. He didn't look the same with that moustache like he was amidst a midlife crisis. However, she still saw her doofus, giving him an alluring gaze when he sauntered to her side, smirking.

"Deeper than the seas, pretty girl, where Roy is a certified scuba instructor..." he crooned, thinking something like that would be hot and attractive to his wife as she giggled. Loving her bright smile, he stepped forward and cupped her cheek, hoping to satisfy his craving for something sweet by leaning in for a small kiss...only for (y/n) to put her fingers betwixt them.

"Hey! I want a kiss..."

"Sorry, Roy. I only kiss my husband, Ray," the woman teased him, watching as a kaleidoscope of emotions whirled across his face in a split second - from confusion to sadness to anger to resilience.

He pecked her open palm instead, accepting her refusal with dignity and grace since he saw the game in her eyes. As if the ring on his finger didn't match hers, but he shrugged it off, knowing he'd have her once they caught a moment alone and resumed the exercise.

"Next!" Mika walked into the middle of the room with a confident face, eager than most to impress Ray. She'd wipe that disappointed, lovesick, puppy-like expression off his mug, having practised her super-scream every night for the past week to try and strengthen her vocal cords.

"Get ready to be...blown away!" She exclaimed, as eager as Bose with her witty entrance line, although it wasn't quite so creative. And it didn't help how she twitched her fingers to highlight the pun, making her quip seem clunky and forced, unlike her friend's smoother delivery.

"Unnecessary air quotes--B minus!" The hero retorted, making the dark-haired girl grit her teeth and curse. She wasn't used to failure, being the kid who always earned gold stars at school, but it wasn't all bad, not when she'd caught Ray in a particularly tetchy mood after (y/n) teased him like that.

So, she didn't let the lowered grade deflate her enthusiasm, shaking her limbs loose as she dipped into concentration. Her hands opened next to her head, stretched open as she screamed, attempting to flex her throat in the unique way that made it super. It worked, vibrating slightly to create airwaves that tickled Ray's face and ruffled his hair a little, chocolate locks flapping gently in the breeze.

He didn't look very impressed, and she guessed if this was real, Baby wouldn't have his candy anymore.

"Take that!"

"Took it. Bored! Next!" Ray snapped and dabbed, quickly burning through his protégées and their pathetic powers.

At long last, it was Miles' turn as his sister returned to the sidelines, grumbling, but he didn't see as...hurried as the others. He strolled calmly in front of Ray, looking rather bored with the situation--almost as if it didn't bother him. Flashing Ray a sickly sweet smile, he shoved his hands in his pockets, clearly making no attempt to teleport, attack, or pull any other manoeuvre to save Schwoz, much to the adults' confusion.

"On the contrary, there will not be a next time," he declared confidently as Mika facepalmed, exasperated by his stubbornness.

"What?" Ray frowned, wondering if he'd heard the kid correctly. He set the rules here and expected all the children to participate in his lessons, even if they were strange since they'd help them learn. What was Miles' deal?

"I refused to be tested, Roy," the kid replied, giving his boss a sceptically harsh glance as he refused to use his superpower. "I won't play your game. And besides, the solution will reveal itself.

"So...you're just gonna let Baby die?" Ray asked incredulously in his silly, evil voice, which made everyone ponder his words because he didn't say that before they started. They didn't think the exercise was so...critical and anguished, especially Schwoz, who looked up from picking his fingernails with a pale, panicked face.

"Wait, what?"

"I thought you were just gonna take his candy!" Chapa gasped, thinking that if she knew the supposedly delicate and dangerous situation, she and the others would've tried harder. (y/n) observed quietly, folding her arms as she watched her husband dither, aware that he'd diverted from his plan and now had to think of an excuse. God, his arms looked really good in that shirt...

"What you don't know is that...the lollipop contains the very medicine that keeps Baby alive," Ray explained, making everything up as he went along. Still, they nodded, going along with whatever he said since this was his charade, despite Schwoz's bored grimace.

"Miles, you have to fight him! You can't just wait for every problem to solve itself," Mika told her brother sternly, ignoring his impudent shrug. He always did this, believing more in his hippy, karmic nonsense than reason or science, and often refused to work because of it. He thought the universe would pay him back for being a good person, and whilst that was somewhat true, it frustrated everyone to see him standing idly by.

However, the universe must've loved that boy. By some mystic intervention or Lady Luck's grace, Miles' problem was solved by a sudden and unexpected interruption as the school's security system kicked in, warning its occupants that someone was wandering too close for comfort.

"Stranger approaching. School mode activated." The automated voice spoke robotically as the lights flashed red, meaning the test would have to resume another time before this wanderer saw something they shouldn't.

"All right, test over!"

Ray and (y/n) were the first to jump into action, highly protective of their secrets as Schwoz took off running and screaming, knowing there was little he could do but hide - a weirdo like him wasn't exactly fit for public view dressed in a onesie. Ditching his moustache and shoving their flirting aside for now, the couple quickly instructed the kids to look normal as the classroom cleverly hid its superhero gear and replaced it with pens, pencils and coloured paper.

"See? The problem solved itself. Feels good to be right!" Miles grinned as his friends dashed about, hugging the walls as the desks popped out of the floor and the chairs came down from the ceiling.

"You're still gonna do that test!" (y/n) told him firmly, wanting to add to her notes about the boy's progress, and she couldn't do that if he didn't complete it. Still, she left the discussion there, hoping her warning sunk in as she and Ray slipped into their dapper blazers, rolling their shoulders to get used to the stiff material - looking so formal wasn't their usual style.

As the board changed to some random, boring schoolwork, the kids hastily took their seats, settling into what appeared to be an ordinary lecture whilst the teachers hurried to the door.

"Hello?" They could hear someone shouting from the other side of the thick oak, a scratchy, whiny, vaguely familiar voice before they took a deep breath and twisted the golden knob. Just act normal and pretend like it was a real school...

Ray opened the door to a Fuschia-wearing monster leaning on the frame, and he felt a shiver roll down his spine as he met its eyes. And he knew them all too well. He and (y/n) thought they'd seen the last of Sharona Shapen, an old acquaintance from Henry's school days and someone he'd not only had the misfortune of taking on a date once but kissing too.

The thought made him want to puke, but first, he wanted to know why the garishly hideous woman was standing in his front porch light.

"Oh, hey, handsome!" Sharona greeted Ray smoothly as she waltzed into the building without so much as an invitation, ignoring the pretty woman by his side. The hero shivered at the so-called compliment, not wanting her or anybody else to flirt with him while he loved his wife--so now until forever.

"Uh, can we help you?" (y/n) asked awkwardly, knowing she'd just been ignored like a doormat. Yet she held her ground as her husband closed the door, peering at the gangly woman as she analysed the classroom, looking ridiculous in her bright pink suit. Sharona had never been what one would call a fashionista.

"Depends. Do you know any good-looking guys with low standards?" The blonde asked humorously, clearly the same sad, lonely woman she'd been when Henry Hart was still her pupil. Her personality didn't help, having a penchant for being awkward and weird, as well as her tacky dress sense.

But the heroine didn't feel any sympathy for her, not when she always wooed her doofus like she wasn't in the room, so she chose to stick to his side, ensuring her gleaming wedding ring was on display. She wouldn't let her anywhere near her lover without hosing him down afterwards.

"No, I'm married. I don't need to look for guys anymore," she replied with a polite yet strained smile, threading her arm through Ray's as he smiled. He still wasn't used to hearing it, beaming with pride that the woman on his arm was his wife, not that it phased Miss Shapen. She wasn't picky, not at all, and that's when it hit Mika.

"Wait, aren't you a teacher at Swellview Junior High?" She asked, knowing she'd seen the woman before when she attended regular school. But she'd never been one of her pupils because she left before she was old enough for those classes.

"I was, but Swellview Junior High and I both decided it was time to part ways."

"So you got fired," Chapa retorted dryly, knowing she was sugarcoating the truth because schools didn't let teachers go without a good reason. And with Sharona Shapen, (y/n) could believe it, having heard all about her bizarre exploits and low expectations when her old babies used to visit the Man Cave after school. Good times...

"Bingo! Anyway, I work for the city now. Sharona Shapen, school inspector, see?" The woman announced, showing them all the official identity papers she pulled from her back pocket and the couple wished she'd shown them when she first walked in.

But that was part of her plan, smirking slightly when she saw how they gulped at the revelation. Before, she was just another overworked, underpaid teacher doing the nine-to-five. Still, now, she was in a position of power--and it definitely went to her head, making (y/n) pray that she went easy on them.

"Gotta make sure every school in Swellview has a license, and, according to my records, you ain't got one!"

"Well, can we get one?" Ray asked quietly, audibly swallowing the lump in his throat as his sweet girl's tummy fluttered with nerves. She hadn't thought about that - a license, assuming that high on Mount Swellview, no one would care if they opened a school, given how they were tucked away, minded their own business, and mostly kept to themselves.

Neither she nor Ray thought about regulations or inspections; they just wanted to teach four kids to be superheroes, but the city officials had apparently noticed.

"Maybe..." Sharona replied curtly, enjoying watching the handsome man and his timid wife squirm as she tucked her clipboard under her arm,

"But you gotta pass my test!"

"I can pass your test! Anything! Give me your test, and I'll pass it! You got this..." Mika exclaimed, mumbling words of encouragement as her competitive streak flared upon hearing that word - test. She loved them, making her a little crazy, but she was good at them, studying harder and longer than most to prove that she was better than the rest.

"Not you, smarty pants!" Sharona, however, wasn't so impressed, wondering where the try-hard popped up from and why she thought she could pass anything.

"Thank you! I like yours too..." Mika grinned shyly, weirdly thinking the woman's curt tone was a compliment, but at least it seemed to smooth over her foul mood.

"I bet you do...They're Bucci!" Miss Shapen replied smugly, turning around and wiggling her butt to the disgusted team to show them the disaster label. She had no shame, parading around with Bucci--some hideous, gaudy fashion designer--emblazoned on her ass in sparkling diamantes, both on the jacket and her pants.

The suit must've cost thousands, yet for all that money, she still looked like a fire-damaged Barbie doll...

"This whole school needs to pass my test. You kids, the water supply, your hot teacher, his little wife..." She explained, and whilst Ray appreciated the small compliment, (y/n) couldn't help but growl. What did she need to do to make this woman back off?

She hugged his arm to her chest, glaring at Sharona for flirting with her husband, especially when she recognised their marriage and still disregarded it. Of course, he was hot, achingly so, but only she got to point it out...and see him naked.

But she brushed it off, wanting to hear more about this test as the children wriggled in their chairs, uncomfortable with a stranger in their classroom.

"I need to conduct a thorough investigation of this school right now, or I'm shuttin' it down!" The inspector declared, acting a little too dramatic for everyone's taste. Still, they said nothing, not wanting to upset the Fushica overlord before she handed the license over, even if that couldn't be today. They weren't ready...

"We can't take your test today because we're going on a field trip!" Mika lied nervously, and luckily, Sharona wasn't too bright. She was still suspicious, eyeing the kids and apparent teachers as they smiled sweetly--perhaps too sweetly.

"Where to?"

"A field," (y/n) said instantly, not missing a beat as she stood a little closer to her doofus, her face stern and severe like a firm, merciless teacher, much like Sharon's used to be. It sounded absurd, but a field trip was a field trip, no matter where they went, and the woman could hardly argue with that if one of the headteachers said so.

"Can I come?" Sharona asked, wanting to know what they were teaching in the field, but the heroine had an answer, too.

"Did you bring your parents' signature?"

"No, my parents are ashamed of me," the weird woman replied, staring at the floor as everyone coughed awkwardly. They could believe that, observing the inspector and thinking she wasn't exactly a superstar in her eye-wateringly bright outfit. But this was good, and they had to fight the smiles itching to get onto their faces as they lured her away from snooping around the school.

"All right then. Well, have a nice day!" Ray told her with a quick smile, reaching out to take her by the shoulders and guide her toward the door--to whichever hell hole she came from. The sooner she was gone, the better, and luckily, she didn't protest, shuffling toward the exit with nothing but a mildly confused countenance.

"Well, I'll be back tomorrow!"

"Can't wait for that..." (y/n) hummed, standing by the door, ready to pull it open so she could throw Sharona out on her ear. She'd undoubtedly return to flirt with her doofus, darkening the heroine's mood, but at least they'd be rid of her for a short while.

"And I better see some teaching. And some learning! Some Phys Ed, some Driver's Ed--I wanna see all the Eds! And if I don't...I'm shuttin' it down!" The loudmouth woman decreed as she paused in the doorway, glaring at the meek couple, who gulped at her furious tone.

They didn't doubt her word, not liking the thought of being shut down by Sharona Shapen, of all people, and if SWAG was to go, they could say goodbye to Danger Force. The kids needed the school to fool their parents and learn to control their powers. So, when (y/n) finally closed the door behind her, bolting it to stop the beast from reentering, she and Ray faced the kids with worried frowns.

"We better find some Eds..." the man announced to the sombre room, blowing his cheeks out as (y/n) held his hand tightly, watching the children exchange concerned glances.

Okay, she'd take that kiss now. Anything to soothe her frazzled nerves...

~The next day~

True to her, Sharona showed up at SWAG the very next day.

She strolled up to the front door like a woman on a mission, determined to prove her authority and power with the mere clipboard in her hand, wearing another hideous outfit – this one a grotesque prune colour, complete with a frilly, flowery blouse. This time, she hoped to catch the handsome teacher and his stupid wife off their guard, knowing they wouldn't have two field trips in one week, so she eagerly pressed the doorbell, ready to wreak some chaos.

But Ray and (y/n) hadn't been idle. Despite only having a few hours to prepare, they and the kids devised a curriculum for her test, organising many fake lessons to please any city inspector. Everything had to be perfect, from the classroom layout to the kids' behaviour to the teachable content to the teachers. And the couple certainly brought their A-game.

"--And now you know everything Albert Einstein knew..." Ray told the room as he answered the door to the walking grape, grimacing when he noticed how she leaned on the doorframe again - apparently her seductive pose.

"Oh, hello! Whatever brings you to our modest and totally real school?" The hero asked politely as he smiled, knowing he risked a slap from his sweet girl if he dared to sneer at the woman.

He was dressed to the nines, turning his business casual style from yesterday into an outfit fit for the gentry. Instead of his usual comfy, unbelievably hot t-shirt, he wore a proper button-down under his perfectly ironed blazer. He even tucked a regal silk cravat between the loosened collar, hating how warm it made his neck, but (y/n) said it was fetching.

She didn't quite agree with his knee-high riding boots. His tan trousers were tucked into them, giving him an air of nobility, although she still preferred her silly doofus.

"Cool your boots, fancy toots. And you, Little Miss Muffet, out of my way!" Sharona scoffed at their excellent manners, showing her lack thereof as she pushed her way into the building, rudely barging past (y/n) as she did.

If it wasn't for her façade of politeness and gentility, (y/n) would've given her a couple of fives right up her hooter. But she relented, staying true to her mission as she brushed the invisible dust off her uniform and carried on calmly.

She'd also swapped her casual jeans and t-shirt, wearing a tight but not too revealing pencil skirt, which matched her femininely cut jacket. And whilst she preferred sneakers for when she was lecturing, her simple, black heels made her legs look long and elegant, so, prettied up with the diamond earrings from their anniversary and her hair all pinned up, she looked like an actual headmistress.

That, and Ray thought she looked hot.

"It ain't real until I says it's real." The couple rolled their eyes as Ray closed the door, wondering when they sunk so low to take orders from Sharona Shapen, but they bit their tongues. It was just for one morning...

"Now, let's blast some school inspection music and get this done!" They couldn't argue with that, not if they wanted to receive a notice of closure, so they let the woman do what she wanted.

As the music played an upbeat, hip-hop pop song, they began to show her what SWAG had to offer. Like sound, diligent students, the kids gathered around with exaggerated awe, listening intently as Mr and Mrs. Manchester talked through what the lessons were today - all while they sipped from their his and hers mugs. At least Ray looked calm, playing with his charm and devilish good looks to soften Sharona up, even if it made (y/n) break a pencil or two.

First, they started with science, allowing them to introduce the inspector to Professor Schwoz - the part-time science teacher. He knew the plan to make it seem like the children were learning as he swirled a few potions and lotions to impress Sharona--and it worked, even if Bose tried to drink hydrochloric acid like it was lemonade.

She didn't know what half those chemicals, powders, and doohickeys did, but it looked...learn-y, which she quickly noted on her report.

Next, Ray took gym class - the only thing (y/n) could see him instructing successfully, other than hero stuff. Of course, they didn't have anything suitable to show a civilian, nothing that didn't include blasters and super-suits, so he opted for the big bouncy balls again, getting them to bounce around like it was good exercise.

Well, it seemed enough to please Miss Shapen, who enjoyed seeing the children boinging on the lively things...but she liked seeing Headmaster Manchester in his gym clothes much more.

Then, (y/n) took math class, expertly guiding the children through quadratic equations and the Pythagorean theorem as if it were child's play. Her plan was to baffle Sharona with numbers, spouting some mumbo-jumbo about Xs and parentheses as Mika, Miles, Chapa, and Bose nodded like they understood the scrawlings on the board.

"The square of the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle is equal to the sum of the square of the other two sides." She made it sound simple: quickly find C after jotting down a few numbers.

It wasn't tough since she loved math. She breathed math. She'd die for math. But it was enough to impress the snooty, violet-wearing woman observing her lecture, who'd learned something or two while she noted everything down.

Finally, the final lesson rolled around, and this was the big one. The grand finale. The class about the learning of things that had already happened. History. The adults went all out, giving each kid a period costume and a prop to carry as they reenacted the Battle of Swellview, marching past Sharona with their antique swords, scrolls and ginormous flag.

They claimed the land - or stage - for their new city, gathering around with their dramatic poses and extravagant costumes as the inspector watched with tears in her eyes, full of pride for the founding story of her city.

Ray couldn't help but feel smug, swirling the last trickle of coffee in his mug since his precious wife drank half of it, saying his had just enough sweetness for her liking - much more than hers. But he couldn't be mad, half-cocked and drooling as she watched her lecturing the class as if it was her destiny, swanning around in that pencil skirt like his teenage pin-up.

His wife was hot, and everyone knew he turned into a lust-addled zombie when she talked numbers. So, when Sharona finally concluded her test, he was barely listening.

"Well, that's it. You all failed!--" She announced, pausing the catchy song as the group stared at her in disbelief, baffled as to where they'd gone wrong. They thought it was perfect...

"What?! How?" (y/n) gasped, breaking her doofus out of his daydream about seeing that skirt on the floor as she squeezed his hand. Was this it? Was her ridiculous, itchy dress and mob cap all for nothing? She didn't want to lose the school, not so soon after opening it, and her heart was in her mouth until...Sharona smiled, pulling the biggest UNO reverse card ever.

"--Failed to do anything wrong! You passed!" She declared, much to their immense relief and delight.

The children and Schwoz cheered and high-fived each other as Ray and (y/n) embraced and shared a quick kiss, stopping short of swallowing each other's faces after a tense night of very little passion. He looked surprisingly in his sailor's hat and period-style shirt - Mr Darcy, who?

"Swellview Academy for the Gifted is an officially licensed school..." Miss Shapen told them as she passed Ray a freshly signed certificate, which decreed that the city recognised their right to educate its youngest and most impressionable students. It would look great on their wall, all framed and displayed for all to see and admire.

"Nice!" Ray grinned as he eagerly showed it to his precious wife with a peck to her temple. He squeezed her tightly as she took it from his hands and squealed, believing their worries to be over...

"You'll get your two new students tomorrow." But, of course, nothing was ever simple. Their joy and merriments died after the moody woman added the baffling news, making them stare at her with deeply concerned frowns. Hoping they misheard her, they gasped, not liking what they heard because it sounded like she said new students, but surely not...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...Take that and rewind it back!"

"What new students?" (y/n) questioned furiously as she and Ray stepped away from the horrified children and faced her, but Sharona didn't bat an eyelash. She didn't care about their arguments or discomfort; she had a job, so it wasn't personal, even if she'd like to get a little personal with a certain someone...

"Oh, well, there's a shortage of available space at gifted schools. I got two kids who have been learnin' at a bus station for the last month," she explained, making the Danger Force team scowl, suddenly feeling grateful for the clean and proper facilities provided for them.

But, as much as the sob story made (y/n)'s heart hurt, she refused to take on more students. She exchanged a worried look with her husband, who was on the same page as her, thinking their superhero duties would move to the back burner with two randomers snooping around the school and possibly the Man's Nest. Ray wouldn't have his sweet girl looking so nervous, boldly stepping toward Sharona again with a defiant frown.

"I'm moving them here tomorrow."

"Well, what if we don't take them?" He asked, turning his nose up at the thought of more children running rampant in his home, rapidly becoming a goddamn daycare.

"Well, then, I'm shuttin' ya down!" The woman replied haughtily with what was rapidly becoming her catchphrase. She pulled a small removed from her pocket, glaring at the rebellious couple as she pressed a button to summon...police officers?

They stormed in as a shrill siren sounded, entering the building with stern faces, alarmingly short shorts and sleeves shirts. And it wasn't even that hot outside. The chief, some tall, intimidating dude, stomped in with his beefy guns out, harsh gaze flickering from the puzzled kids, horrified couple, and to one very smug inspector.

"You shuttin' this place down, Sharona?"

"I don't know... Are we?" She asked, coldly looking at Ray and (y/n) as they sighed, knowing their hands were tied. This was her way of flexing some muscle, scaring them into compliance, no matter how much they resented the thought of two bus shelter charity cases. As much as they wanted to shout, kick, and scream, neither wanted to get into a fight with the police, so with a defeated shrug from his sweet girl, Ray growled and deflated.

"Fine--we'll take 'em!" He conceded, but he wasn't happy about it. However, Sharona appeared delighted, turning to her muscular enforcers with a mischievous smirk - (y/n) was just glad it wasn't aimed at her doofus.

"Then, carry me out, buster!" She exclaimed before, in a bizarre, almost concerning feat, leaping across the room and into the chief's arms so he could carry her out bridal style. Her gangly frame looked unsteady in his embrace despite the man's apparent strength. But, unfortunately, the other policemen closed the door before the team could see if she fell flat on her face. What a shame...

"See you tomorrow!"

"We're screwed..." (y/n) noted once they were alone with nothing other than the revelation that SWAG was getting two new students in the morning. The certificate in her hand felt obsolete now, the joy draining from their bodies at the thought of babysitting two kids while fighting crime.

The thought was impossible, making her give her doofus a worried glance as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. They needed a plan--and quick.

~The Man's Nest~

After that sobering warning from Miss Shapen, the Danger Force team gathered upstairs to lick their wounds and formulate a plan - anything to save their secret operation.

Each person was tasked with researching their own idea of how to get rid of these two new kids, thinking, tapping, or, in Bose's case, nibbling as they went. There had to be a way of getting rid of them, preferably without too much mess - looking at Chapa there - the only trouble was nailing it.

Mika was particularly tenacious, on the ball as always, but what was new there? As she sat at the mini-supercomputer, the others listened intently, even though whatever she'd thought of wasn't what they'd had in mind - more like blood, murder, and pitchforks.

"So, we find these kids' personal information, and then, we fill out an application to--"

"Boring!" Ray interrupted the poor girl as he sat on the back of the couch, looking far more fetching now that he and his sweet girl had changed out of their fancy clothes. His muscles in that bold-pattern shirt looked good enough to eat, but (y/n) frowned at his rudeness, knowing Mika was onto something.

Of course, she was. She was the one who told her where to look and what to look for in the first place.

"Raymond!" The heroine scolded him, and Ray stood up from where he'd been perched on the back of the couch. He gave her a slight pout but didn't apologise, believing he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, he merely kissed her forehead and brushed past, thinking he held the solution to all their problems - being the thinker he was.

"Schwoz, go get the Memory-Wiper! The new kids show up, we erase their memories, badaboom bada--" he smirked, much to the kids' frustration. They'd been over this a million times, but no matter how much they explained it to him, the doofus wouldn't get it past his thick skull. Not even if (y/n) smushed his cheeks together and made him listen.

"Do you ever listen?!" Mika shouted dramatically as Schwoz rubbed his temples, feeling a migraine coming on.

"I told you ten times!" The genius told Ray, looking thoroughly exasperated since it was like trying to talk to a brick wall, especially when he took an interest in the new jeans (y/n) was wearing.

"The Memory-Wiper got destroyed when you, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger fought Drex! It's not going to conveniently get us out of things anymore..."

"Nice try, doof..." (y/n) hummed, walking over to pat his chest and give her husband a quick smooch as he groaned. He really thought he was onto something, but they'd have to be more creative than that. Schwoz could make another Wiper, but that would take too long, and it was old tech anyway. He wasn't the type to look back - it distracts from the now.

"I know how we can get rid of these kids..." Chapa remarked as she looked up from her tablets, and all her friends turned to stare at her, including the kissing couple. This would be interesting...

"We get a chainsaw, and a ceiling fan, and a--"

"Chapa, no! No violence, no blood, no murdering, and certainly, no chainsaws!" (y/n) told her sharply, pinching her eyes for the hundredth time because all of the girl's ideas had been like that. Dark, demonic, and highly illegal, decidedly not in line with Captain Man's heroic values.

She scowled at that, slumping in her chair as the man crouched down to her eye level, wondering who he'd pissed off to deserve such a troublesome pupil.

"What's your deal? Why are you so scary?" He asked, but that seemed to infuriate her more as she leaned closer to his face with bared teeth and blazing eyes.

"A boy stole my cell phone!"

"So, buy another one!" Ray snapped, unphased by her thunderous voice because it was the same old rhetoric.

He and his sweet girl had discussed this many times, but neither understood the kid's obsession with some crappy, outdated PearPhone, and it was getting old. Anyone else would've simply moved on, bitter but free from the burden of a grudge, but not Chapa. She took things much more seriously, like the theft was a black mark against her ancestors or something.

"No! If you're best friend got stolen, would you just buy another one?" She asked furiously, and it wasn't the first time the Man's Nest had seen such an argument. She never backed down nor gave up, stubborn to a fault, but unfortunately, so was Ray, and he didn't shy away from a fight either.

"Yes! I fell in love with my first best friend, so I hired a new one!" The man replied instantly, causing (y/n)'s ears to superheat since she wasn't expecting him to put it so bluntly. As she scratched the back of her head and giggled nervously - a clear sign to the kids that Ray was talking about her - the hero took a moment to spare himself the heartache.

The reality of it all was hard to acknowledge out loud.

"Then, he moved to Dystopia, so I bought four new ones!" He exclaimed, and honestly, that made them melt a little. Whilst they knew Kid Danger was special to Captain Man, always had been and always would be, it was nice to see that they filled the Henry-sized hole in his heart. Sort of.

"Aww...love you, man," Bose cooed, reaching to bump fists with his mentor as he and (y/n) tried not to get mopey. The kids were good, but really, they didn't replace anyone...

"We'll get there," Ray let him down gently, briefly tapping his knuckles since he wouldn't call any of them his best friends. His wife would always be his first and greatest relationship, but he'd learned that with time, his love grew - not shared or halved, but it grew. Very slowly.

"Anyway, doofus, I've been doing some research, and, according to The Big Book Of Swellview Laws, if these new kids agree to leave the school on their own--" (y/n) quickly moved on, tapping the spine of a heaven-sent, hazy hardback copy of the city's craziest laws. They still had work to do, but it was a start, and Ray couldn't help but beam at his wife's brilliance - she was so hot when she was being clever.

"Then, Miss Shapen and her sleeveless goons can't shut us down! Nice work, sweet girl!" He chimed, blindly tossing the book over his shoulder when he plucked it from her hands, too eager to sweep her into a whirlwind of a kiss to care if it nearly hit Bose. Which it did--and Miles, who glared at the hero for almost killing him.

Exactly! And no throwing things inside, Raymond. What have I told?" She nodded, slightly breathless from the passionate assault on her lips. Still, she remained firm, glimpsing at the boys apologetically as her guilty lover shuffled to retrieve the book like a good boy.

"So, we just make life as miserable as possible for these new kids, and they agree to leave on their own," Chapa supposed, much to Ray's delight.

"Good plan, Chapa!" He nodded, clapping his hands together as (y/n) rolled her eyes. She'd basically come up with the plan; the girl merely read between the lines, but she let it go, too distracted by the large, warm hands that suddenly appeared on her waist.

"And shockingly, not violent," Mika added, thinking her friend had refrained from her usual murderous ideas for a change, and it was lovely. She still didn't like the sound of torturing the new students on their first day, but where Chapa was concerned, it wasn't half bad.

"...You didn't let me finish." Or not. The Latina rose from her chair with a cunning smirk, picturing scenes of horror and gore that would drive out any pathetic and unwelcome children from their school.

"We find out who they love the most, and then, in the middle of the night, we--"

"Oh, come on!"

"Chapa, please!"

"You were doing so good!" Her friends groaned, not wanting to know what horror-film outing she'd planned since they knew it would lead to no good. As they cursed her for being abnormal, Chapa shrugged, wondering what all the fuss and nonsense was about--just because she saw things a little...differently. Blood-soaked with curdling screams of pain and anguish.

In her mind, it worked - removing the problem perhaps a little messily, but so what? You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, and if these new kids had to be the eggs?... Well, so be it.

~The next day~

Bright early, everyone arrived in SWAG the next day, ready to give the new students hell.

Perhaps it was a little unfair - it wasn't their fault that Sharona Shapen chose the only secret superhero school in the city to be theirs, but that didn't matter. Ray wanted them gone, and what he said went. Some of the plans were ridiculous, especially the giant high-striker Schwoz had installed at the front of the classroom. No one had any idea what the boss wanted to do with it.

It was big, brash, and blue--kinda like Ray in that sense, and he chuckled to himself as he strapped his handyman into the device's little chair. His feet were already aching in his stiff riding boots, feeling like he had two lumps of cement on his feet, but it would be worth the pain of tricking the new brats into leaving.

And he'd never complain about seeing his sweet girl in that pencil skirt, his eyes constantly glued to her ankles like an enchanted Victorian gentleman. (y/n) was a little flustered and jittery, pacing the room while biting her fingernails. Still, she powered through, turning a blind eye to every misdeed her friends committed - all for the greater good, apparently. Although, she swore there had to be a simpler way...

"Doofus, what are you doing? (y/n) asked her lover as he fiddled with the belt buckle on Schwoz's chair, and from where she was standing, it sounded like he was torturing the guy. He groaned and moaned, lolling his head from side to side, quietened only by Ray's occasional sharp warning.

"You'll see, darlin'. All in good time..." Ray grinned, hoping she'd see his intelligence genius in the same way. But then, he glanced at his watch and paled at the time, knowing that the devil and her sproglets would soon be upon them--and he'd hardly created a classroom of chaos yet.

"Hurry up! They're coming!" He shouted to the children, who'd been sent off on various tasks to try and find things to make their guests feel extra welcome. He didn't care what it was as long as it made them utterly miserable, although Schwoz didn't make it easy when he slapped his fingers for messing with his buckle. It was like he didn't want to help, no matter the cost...

"Ray, (y/n)! I found this broken chair in the basement!" Bose announced as he dashed into the room, wheeling an antique wicker wheelchair in front of him.

It looked like it was at least a hundred years old, making (y/n) turn her nose up at the musty smell, and she assumed that it was something the previous owners must've left. She'd never keep something decrepit, and Ray wouldn't be seen dead in a wheelchair. Ever.

And that wasn't all; in the chair's lap, he'd turned a rickety old stool upside to carry that too, and on closer inspection, it looked worse than the chair. Full of woodworm and rusty nails, the heroine was sure she'd need a tetanus shot if she sat on it - and that was coming from someone with super-regeneration.

"Love it! Explain..." Ray nodded appreciatively, staring at the antiques with much more love than his wife could muster as they huddled together to hear Bose's plan.

"We'll make one of the new kids sit in this rusty, busted-up thing, and we'll make the other sit on this termite stool," the boy smirked, knowing that his plan would cause pure despair for the students, even if it was a little mean.

"What's a termite stool?" Mika asked from her desk, where she'd been feverishly researching something (y/n/n) told her to look into. She'd told her to work smarter, not harder, but when she heard something so stupid, she couldn't help but be distracted.

"Stool full'a termites! Give it a sit!"

"No..." she quickly declined, returning to her work as Bose shrugged. He didn't care when the torture device was meant for someone else. Still, Mika didn't like the idea of using little insects to bite the unsuspecting kids, which was why she'd been working on something much kinder--and more straightforward, quicker, cheaper. Nothing could go wrong.

"So, I was thinking--"

"Not finished!" But the long-haired boy had other ideas. Surprisingly, for one so dense, he'd been exceptionally proactive, coming up with not one but two mischievous ideas, even if the latter wasn't as strong as the other.

"When the new kids get here, I'm also gonna use my powers to make stuff float. And I'm gonna use my throat to make ghost noises like, souuuuuuup!'"

"Soup?" (y/n) frowned, wondering why he thought a ghost would say that. Maybe it sounded a little spooky, but she couldn't take him seriously, not when she could sense Ray's jerking shoulders next to her. He thought it was funny, muffling his chuckles against her cheek when he hid his face from the boy.

"Ghosts love soup. They tell me all the time."

"That's not concerning at all..." the woman mumbled to her husband, who could honestly say his eyebrows were through the roof. As if they didn't think Bose was bizarre enough, but now he was a medium, too. Fabulous. Either that, or he was hearing voices, and everyone knows what happens to people who listen to the voices in their heads...

"Good enough... Hey, where's Scary Bradshaw?" Ray asked, quickly moving on before they had to have the kid sectioned. And speaking of disturbing children, he'd noticed a dip in the negativity in the room, and that's when it hit him. Chapa hadn't said one rude, mean, or borderline psychotic thing in at least ten minutes - how long she'd been out of the room.

"Chapa is hiding in the closet with a chainsaw. When we give her the cue, she's gonna jump out and scare the new kids!" Bose explained, having passed the girl after finding his chairs. It was like something out of a horror film with her sitting in there, waiting to pounce on whichever sucker walked in, despite being warned not to meddle with dangerous stuff.

"Hey, I thought I said no more chains--"

"Hey, sweet girl, it's okay. Like it, love it, I want more of it!" Ray grinned, dismissing his wife's concerns since he saw no harm. Chapa was a competent and resourceful girl, and he'd seen a lot of thrillers - chainsaws got terrified kids running like nothing else.

"What you got?"

"I plan on living with an open heart and a strong mind. And I'll remain like that until the solution presents itself," Miles replied when the teachers turned to him, still sitting on his holier-than-thou high horse since he was about his karma and all that mystic bullshit. The hero's proud smile quickly fell, unable to believe what he heard; would the kid ever do some work?

"Who made you this way?" the man asked tiredly, regretting all his choices at that moment. Open a school, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Train four kids at once, they said...

"The system!" Miles hissed, ready to go on a marching warpath since no one ever took his concerns seriously, being the warrior of social justice that he was.

"I miss Henry--I miss Henry--I miss Henry..."

"It's okay, doof. Just...think nice thoughts. Go to your happy place!" (y/n) soothed her husband as he ran a frustrated hand through his floppy hair, longing for the days when he only had one sidekick - a funny, intelligent, obedient, capable boy who idolised him. And he was never like this.

She sympathised with him; whilst she wasn't Miss Danger initially, she knew Henry took to the hero's life much more quickly than Danger Force ever did. They'd worked together for so long that everything felt natural and easy. Ray struggled to remember the early days when Henry spilt his secrets, disobeyed a few rules, and used his sidekick status for his games.

"My happy place..." Ray hummed, smiling softly when he took a minute to tilt his head back and close his eyes, instantly knowing where he wanted to go. An island in the Polynesian Pacific, no kids, no cellphones, no villains turning the place to shit, just him and a very sweet girl strolling the ocean's side - maybe a few kids running in front of them.

That made him happy--enough to calm his temper for the next kid.

"Mika!" he called out, looking at the girl, who'd barely said a word all morning. She'd just tap-tapped away on her PearPad, ignoring the world around her for whatever was so momentous on the screen.

"Okay, don't be mad, but--"

"Yeah, but see, that always makes me mad..." Ray replied anxiously, wondering if she'd done anything to help and none of that so-called scheming she liked to do. He wanted action, not a namby-pamby cleverness because no one liked a know-it-all except when his darling wife was all hot and smart.

"Let's just hear what she has to say, Raymond. Go on, Mika..." (y/n) told him gently, tangling her fingers with his as the girl nodded at her reassuring smile, glad someone could control the man-child.

"Well, actually, it's one of your ideas, but once I've learned these kids' names, I'm gonna enter their personal information into--" she tried to explain after digging and finding that the woman's suspicion was correct. She could get the kids to leave without leaving her seat, doing more damage on her tablet than Ray could do with a million blasters in the field, but he didn't see it that way.

"A supercomputer that will eat them?!" He proposed, making his precious wife sigh and smack her forehead. Why did he have to be so impatient?

"No!"

"Then, I don't care. Next!" The hero told her rudely, earning himself a whack on the arm from (y/n), who frowned at how he dismissed poor Mika so swiftly. She barely got a chance to explain, but the girl wouldn't be defeated when she had Miss Danger on her side - thank God that man married someone with a brain cell.

"Just keep doing that, Mika, 'Kay?" She told the kid quietly as Ray rubbed the rapidly fading sore spot on his bicep, whining over annoying his sweet girl. He didn't want to upset her, longing for a bit of intimacy since it felt like forever since he'd had her all to himself. Still, he couldn't think like that, not even when she strolled around in that goddamn skirt.

"What are you gonna do, doof?"

"Well, I'm glad you finally asked, sweet girl..." he grinned, eager to please and impress as he gestured to the high-striker ensnaring Schwoz. Although she'd already asked about it and watched him fiddle with the gizmo, she still listened intently, feeling like she was watching a little boy on Christmas morning as he showed off his weird toy.

"It's a test of strength. Just like any other test of strength you'd see at a normal school," Ray presented to the class, earning a few confused stares since that wasn't exactly true.

Still, (y/n) wouldn't stand for mockery of her beloved doofus, aware that he barely remembered school after finishing the third grade. That was the price of being the world's greatest superhero, making her smile sadly as he obliviously twirled the giant hammer in his strong hands. She'd do anything to keep him so playful and childish...

"You use this hammer to make Schwoz go all the way up there to ring that bell!"

"Hello..." the small man awkwardly waved at the kids, looking confused, irritated, and tired. He was just doing as he was told, despite not knowing entirely what he'd signed up for when Ray said all the way to the top. That sounded...painful.

"How is this gonna make the new kids want to leave?" Mika questioned, interrupting the happy couple as (y/n) curled an arm around her lover's neck to gently kiss his lips. She couldn't help it if she found him utterly adorable above all his flaws, and those lips were too soft and delicious to ignore when they called to her like that...

"Ha-ha! You'll see!" Ray giggled, pulling away to rest his chin on his wife's head, looking a little too excited for a guy who'd merely installed a high-striker.

"Please tell me nothing bad will happen," (y/n) begged him, hating the idea of cleaning up another implosion, spillage, or riot. She didn't like it when he tried to be mysterious; often, it was better for him to run things by her first - less chance of death, fire, murder, rampaging, pillaging, or plundering that way.

"Just wait and see, pretty girl..." But the hero would reveal nothing, leaning down to find her honeyed lips again and smother her pout. While he couldn't promise something entirely harmless and clean, it would still be fun, hopefully enough to drive the new kids away.

But the moment didn't last. Before he could hold her face to his, keeping the sweetness' source still for him to drink from, the school's security system kicked in. It was an absolute cockblock, ruining his fun before he could do anything else, so poor Ray had to settle for a mere peck. He was getting more and more frustrated every minute...

"Stranger approaching."

"Okay, that's them," he told the kids, ignoring their scrunched-up expressions as he licked the saccharine remnants from his lips and separated from his beloved wife. It was showtime.

"Now, remember! Whatever happens, we gotta be really mean to these new kids!"

"I don't know, doofus. I'm not very good at the whole mean thing. It makes me feel...mean," (y/n) said quietly, loosely rolling her shoulders as she followed her husband to the door, knowing Sharona Shapen and her bus station brats were behind it. It wasn't in her nature to be spiteful or a bully - God knows she knew what it was like to be on the receiving end, but Ray just gave her a reassuring smile and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"S'okay, darlin'. I don't want you to lose any of that sweetness, so try your best, okay?" He advised her gently, squeezing her tense flesh with the other hand resting on the doorknob as she nodded weakly. Miles and Bose giggled at how he could switch so effortlessly, going from Mr. Grumpy Pants one second to a lovable teddy bear the next--and all over a girl.

With one final check of their suit and the outlay of the room, the headmaster opened his doors, a tight yet beaming smile on his face. Instantly, he was greeted with Sharona's ugly, unimpressed mug, something he never wanted to see in the morning, but there were two kids in front of her two. And strangely...they didn't look like monsters. Or brats. Or like they'd be any trouble at all.

Admittedly, they were filthy, covered in dirt after studying rough for the last month, but if they looked past the stink, they were lovely. The boy, slightly smaller than the other and wearing an old, battered jacket and flat cap, gasped when he saw the room, lopping his arm with the girl's as she, too, seemed in awe at their new school.

She kept her unwashed hair out of her face with a white handkerchief, looking like a child from a Dickens novel in her ill-fitting green dress and moth-eaten brown jumper. Her boots needed resoling, and her mother - if she had one - needed to give her a good bath since her face was stained with dirt. Yet, despite their abysmal, pitiable condition, they seemed happy, perfectly polite, and grateful to a fault.

*I'd like to state for the record that English people don't speak like this. we don't live in Oliver Twist, okay?*

"Why, Percy! It's our new school! I'm sure we will love it so!" The girl remarked with tears in her eyes, speaking in a flawlessly clear English accent. And not like she was some Cockney peasant, but like she was one of the landed gentry - eloquent and refined in every syllable.

"Oh, we shall, Miriam!" The boy, Percy, agreed, giving her a cheeky smile as they admired the sparkling facilities--a remarkable improvement on their old classroom.

"We shall finally be happy here in our new school!"

"And it smells ever so much better than the bus station!" Miriam remarked as Ray and (y/n) stared at them, wondering where the brats were supposed to be because these were angles. Perfect, little British angels with their excellent manners and elegance.

"That's because there's a bathroom here, sweetie," Miss Shapen told them, tearing delighted gasps from the children since they weren't used to such luxuries. Life hadn't been kind to them, not that anyone would guess, given their mildly irritating optimism.

"Anyway, I gotta go. It's Hump Day, so there's free sushi at the gas station, and there's nothing like eating sushi in head to toe--Bucci!" Miss Shapen laughed at her little joke - the only person in the room to do so. She was a strange, strange woman, and luckily made her goodbyes quickly, leaving Ray and (y/n) with their new 'lil English crumpets.

"Deuces!"

"Uh, hello, we're your new teachers. I'm (y/n), and this is my husband, Ray--" The heroine turned to the keen children with a watery smile, slightly discomforted by their unexpected politeness. She and her doofus were so used to the abrasiveness of Chapa's tongue or Miles' sassy remarks that to be respected was weird. And the Brits didn't stop there.

"But you can't be our instructors! You're far too young and handsome!" Percy said warmly, looking at a blushing Ray as the man buttoned his lip and smirked at the compliment. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't hate anyone who stroked his ego, making him awkwardly look at (y/n) as she giggled awkwardly.

"And this fine young lady is your spouse? Good heavens, you are the luckiest man in the world, good sir!" His attention turned to her, eyes twinkling with good intentions from under that flat cap, and the woman couldn't help but clench Ray's arm.

His head was in danger of exploding, growing bigger with every praise because hell yeah, he knew he'd married the best girl in the world, and knowing that he had the honour of being her husband made him preen like a peacock. Even if they were annoyingly kind and courteous, they were nothing like he'd expected - twice as nice as the brats he had to teach.

"And your generous spirits are as clear as the kindness in your eyes..." Miriam sighed, getting a little too kiss-assy, but she meant well. Perhaps a little too well, and given their unrelenting goodwill, (y/n) knew she'd never find it in herself to be mean.

"Oh, uh...thank you! Would you please excuse us for one minute?" She said with a breathy laugh, dragging her doofus by the arm toward the kids and the door. The newcomers didn't mind, talking with pleasant smiles as they ushered Mika, Miles, and Bose into the closet, leaving Schwoz alone since they knew they needed an urgent change of plans.

However, once they were inside, it was like a scene from Saw - providing some haunting noises for the children waiting patiently outside. Ray, his sweet girl, and the kids screamed in terror as a masked figure jumped out at them, ripping a chainsaw to life as it threatened to chop them to pieces.

The hero instantly shielded his wife, fists clenched and ready to pummel the mystery slasher for trying to hurt her, but on closer inspection, they were a little short for a bloodthirsty killer. It was Chapa - of course, it was - who'd been waiting for the opportune moment to frighten the shit out of the new students, should they walk in. Only, she ended up giving (y/n) a heart attack and all her friends nightmares.

"Sorry, I thought you were those gunchy new kids," she apologised, removing her faceless mask and putting the chainsaw down before she could slice anyone. Ray's arms loosened around (y/n)'s body, who dared to peek out from his chest when she realised the end hadn't come, although it was still nice to snuggle against his toned torso.

"Turns out they're not gunchy at all! They're sweet as--my sweet girl!" Ray exclaimed, petting his wife's precious head as she smiled, shy from the compliment. She'd never claim to be as charming as those hard-done English kids, but she knew he'd argue otherwise, so she stayed silent.

"I don't know if I can soup ghost them!" Bose pouted, knowing he'd been given a job, but like (y/n), being a bully wasn't in his nature. He was just unassuming, nice-guy Bose.

"Their last school didn't have a bathroom..."

"If you could even call it a school. I don't think they've had comfortable lives at all," (y/n) noted as Miles frowned, a million questions racing through his mind about how bad their old school must've been. It only made them feel sorry for Miriam and Percy, and indeed, if anyone didn't deserve such terror, it was those sweet peas.

"They've been through so much. Plus, Percy winked at me, and it melted my heart!" Mika sighed softly, and Ray nodded. He knew how that felt, utterly bewitched by the children and their kind hearts, which was saying something since he wasn't overly fond of children and their tendency to sublet in his home.

"And Miriam complimented me and my sweet girl!"

"Seriously, I mean...no bathroom! Where have they been goin'?!" Miles pondered, eyebrows trenched in deep thought, although he didn't want to think about the alternatives to having no toilet. He couldn't imagine the squalid conditions they were forced to learn in, and suddenly, he and the others felt a little more grateful for their pristine classroom and facilities, nodding appreciatively. Well, save for Chapa...

"Hey!" She hissed, trying to get them to remember their objective.

"I mean, I am very young-looking, and my wife is incredibly hot, so the compliments make sense, but--"

"HEY!" She snapped again, but this time, she chose violence. What was new? (y/n) cringed and shrank away in fear as the girl slapped her teacher brutally hard, silencing his pathetic, conceited ramblings about Miriam's apparent compliments. Ray's face was a picture of agony, all scrunched up and red as he clutched his battered face, glad he was indestructible since the kid had a lot of rage in that striped shirt of hers.

And she didn't stop there. Chapa backhanded him several times, slapping the hero silly to ensure he was listening. She knew what he was like when he started thinking about his pretty little wife and how he'd never stop daydreaming if someone didn't intervene. His skin stung from the vicious assault, dazing Ray until he gathered his thoughts enough to push her away, wondering what he did to deserve such punishment.

"Ow! Stop slapping me! I'm listening!" He whined, scurrying away into the safety of his wife's arms, where (y/n) cooed and soothingly ran the back of her fingers down his warm flesh. A kiss on the cheek and the pain fleeted, leaving his face rosy and flushed for another reason.

"We are crime fighters! We can't have a couple a' bus station biscuits sniffin' around here, or we can't respond to emergency calls!" Chapa told everyone sharply, her glare so fierce that even the couple shrank under it, pausing their affection - for now.

"That's true, I guess..." (y/n) shrugged, knowing she was right. Percy and Miriam were lovely, but it would be difficult to explain why they all had to head out so abruptly and often; it would undoubtedly lead to exposure, something they couldn't risk.

"I don't care how many fake compliments they give us," the fiery girl continued, eying the man beside her, who gasped and clutched at his breastbone at such an insinuation - he didn't care what anyone said; his wife was hot.

"How dare you..."

"Or how many fake winks we get!" She hissed, looking at Mika this time, who whimpered at the thought of her wink, eying for show. She knew Percy wasn't like that--that Chapa was just being her usual, callous self, but deep down, she couldn't argue.

"They were real!"

"She's so mean..." Ray grumbled, forgetting who he was talking about and that she was beside him. Chapa raised her hand at him aggressively, threatening him with another round of happy slaps before (y/n) intervened, flashing everyone her cheery, disarming smile. Maybe what the English kids said about her was true, but all that other stuff...

"Hey, don't you hit my doofus," she warned the girl, prodding her pal until Chapa relented. She'd let the guy off the hook...for now, allowing (y/n) to continue as her husband patted her hip in thanks.

"Okay, so Mika and I have a non-violent plan that only includes a little paperwork. Easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon, so--"

"AYYYYE!" A strange voice came from above, interrupting the woman as she shrieked and ducked out of the way. She sought shelter in Ray's embrace, gasping as a figure hit the floor and stared at them all with big, round eyes, whitish skin, an alien-like head--oh, it was just Schwoz.

The stupid little coconut-head was hiding in the rafters like a goddamn bat, listening to the conversation since he had some critical news--although he couldn't just use the door like ordinary people. As they all recovered from their mini-heart attacks, he shook off the landing, surprisingly agile for a cooped-up nerd.

"We've already missed three emergency calls since those kids got here!" The genius announced, skipping the pleasantries and baffled questions as to where he'd dropped from. The bleak news pulled groans from everyone, knowing that once the emergencies piled up, it was almost impossible to fix them without some serious work.

"See? Swellview needs us! So, get out there, be mean to those new kids, and send them back to the bus station! Who's with me?" Chapa growled, having little sympathy for the brats when they'd already caused so much trouble. And her friends agreed, feeling terrible for what they had to do, but it was necessary.

Yet no one, except for Schwoz, put their hand up, anxious to do wrong to do right, so the girl got a little creative. One warning of her palm in the air, and they jumped to it, agreeing keenly since no one wanted a beating like Ray's, seeing how it seared his skin and sprung tears in his eyes.

"Did they use a bucket?" Miles murmured, still hung up on the bus station toilet debacle. Still, his sister pulled him out of the room before anyone could answer.

Miriam and Percy were beginning to get lonely and confused, wondering where everyone went, so they filed out, leaving the happy couple with Chapa as Ray glared at her. His face still ached, tender and scarlet from her angry fists. For someone who was used to being the boss, she didn't relish his authority very much, but they'd soon see about that--

"Hey, listen. I let those slaps go last time, but next time--Ahhh!" The hero tried to confront her, but she was having none of it. Before he could give her the scolding she deserved, her wrist flicked out again, striking his cheek painfully and drying up his words.

"Chapa!" (y/n) warned sharply as her lover gritted his teeth and tried not to show weakness. If only she was that good with criminals, he'd be out of a job...

However, she didn't seem apologetic or remorseful, wearing her typical glare, even as her favoured teacher gave her a stern look. Whilst she respected Miss Danger more than Captain Man, she still hated being dictated to, and Chapa turned on her heel before they could have a chance to punish her. What were they gonna do? Send her back to regular school where her powers could be exposed? Yeah, right...

"I'll see you guys out there..." And with that, she stomped away, taking her mask and chainsaw with her and leaving the spouses alone. She was ready to wreak havoc, slipping back into the classroom without much fuss, and even though time was of the essence, the couple couldn't help but relish the brief glimpse of peace.

*Spicy from here. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.*

Realising they were alone - or as alone they could be in a school full of rioting children - they fell together, (y/n)'s hand on his cheek to soothe Chapa's assault. The kids were merely behind the brick wall, chattering away amongst themselves as the hero gripped his wife's waist and pulled her close, feeling like melting into her embrace and saying to hell with the world.

He nosed her hair, sighing deeply as she stroked his warm skin, tittering how she could sense the sting underneath her palm. But honestly, Ray could barely feel it, leaving the mild injury to his indestructibility to deal with since he had everything he needed in his arms, drained from the last few days of constant disarray and relentless voices clamouring for their attention.

Although they hadn't been teaching very long - three weeks max - the couple quickly learned the price of solitude, learning that the essence of silence was golden.

No screams, no arguments, no insults or snappy comebacks. Just holding each other and appreciating the stillness - a moment of grounding for the both of them.

"This is nice..." Ray muttered, pressing his lips to her neck as she exhaled - a long, heavy breath carrying the world's weight. He knew she was stressed, seeing how her shoulders slumped and her head fell forward, knocking his shoulder as he curled his arms around her delicate figure. Like a leaf shaking in the wind.

"We're hugging in a broom cupboard with a class full of children who want to kill each other," (y/n) replied dryly, voice muffled in his jacket's lapel. Still, despite her monotone response, she didn't let go, clutching at his body and nuzzling into his chest, secretly loving how he'd dabbed a little cologne on his cravat before haphazardly tying and stuffing it down his shirt.

She couldn't help but feel sarcastic and snappy, tired from days of constant pressure and problems. Her clothes were too stuffy and restrictive, her toes longing to wriggle free from her heels, but they had to soldier on to save the school. A miserable, lamentable thought.

"You want me to stop?" Ray hummed, but he didn't let go. Never. He knew her answer, stroking her hair as she whined and snuggled closer.

"No..." she sounded pathetic, arms loosely curled around his torso as he chuckled.

"I can hear you worrying..." the man whispered, beginning to sway slightly when a deafening shriek vibrated through the brickwork. It sounded girlish and shrill - possibly Mika or Miriam - and was almost certainly the work of Chapa and her creepy Halloween mask.

They ignored it, pretending there was cotton wool in their ears whilst the bedlam reigned next door, anything for a second longer to themselves. Ray's lips found her cheek and temple, lips chirping like songbirds as he smooched against her skin, the ticklish sensation making (y/n)'s nose wrinkle and mouth twitch upwards.

"I wouldn't say it's worrying...more stewing."

"So, Bose is obsessed with soup, and you like stew?" He was a doofus, making his wife roll her eyes and limply thwack his shoulder. Yet a smile was growing on her face because it was such a Ray thing to say. It was stupid, and his voice held that forever confused lilt like everything was a puzzle to him, but it was cute and endearing. She pulled her head up to look at him like he was adorable, not stupid.

"No, silly doofus..." (y/n) giggled, pecking his lips briefly when he smiled proudly, simply because he made her happy.

"I'm just...we've barely spent any time together this week."

"Sure, we have. We're together all the time." Ray frowned, knowing he'd be fuming if he'd been denied his sweet girl all week. They'd eaten together, slept next to each other, woken up to each other, shared breakfast, co-taught classes, sorted through the bills--just done the usual married couple stuff.

It was tedious and stressful, balancing work and home life in one building, but they were okay - together like always.

"With children around us. Screaming. Fighting. Telling us we're wrong while they know everything." (y/n), however, begged to differ. She wasn't stupid, but perhaps just a little paranoid.

This was the road to a loveless marriage, all work and no play, which terrified her. Her fingers squeezed his shoulders, deeply worried at the thought of drifting apart, and it had only been a handful of days of little affection. Of course, the kids meant well, but they were the anti-romantics. They had to find secret clinches in cupboards when the Man Cave was their territory--their place to rendezvous.

"I just want one evening where it's me and you, no interruptions, just...us stuff."

"Okay, then, how about we watch a movie tonight? Rom-com? You pick?" Ray suggested softly, hands sliding down to grip her waist, thumbs rubbing above her hipbones. She laughed breathily, glancing at her feet before finding those blue eyes again, spinning a lock of his hair around her finger - she was hunting.

"I was thinking something else..." she countered, sounding sultry and soft like butter.

"Okay, how about I run you a bubble bath? I'll use the fancy soap..." The hero countered, the invitation flying over his head and into the wall, making his wife's eyebrows twitch. Pursing her lips, she tried again, eager to have him to herself, although she didn't usually have to work for it.

"Maybe something we could do together?" She proposed, tongue darting out to moisten her lips, tummy fluttering when his eyes watched the motion.

The pinkish glimpse of her inner bottom lip teased him as she whined and draped her arms around his neck, chest pressed against his so he could feel her lace undergarment poking through.

"How about Twister? We haven't played it since Henry fell on top of Charlotte, and they almost--" But, for one so smooth when in action, Ray was dense--like the plank of wood they carved his brain out of.

(y/n) groaned at his innocent stare, desperately wishing she'd see two blackened eyes hungrily gazing back. She knew why she felt so run down now, flipping through the calendar in her brain to mark the last time she got dicked down. It had been days ago, practically a lifetime, for someone with an incubus at her fingertips, and it frustrated her.

Just an hour was all it would take, but that was few and far between when her husband thought more of bubble baths and board games than a night between the sheets. He withered at her displeasure, wondering where he went wrong, but (y/n) supposed she'd have to spell it out for him.

"Sex, Raymond. I want to have sex!" She exclaimed, holding his pink cheeks and boring into his eyes as his lips parted in surprise. Typically, he was the forward one, plodding in like an elephant when he craved her pleasure. But this made him think, cogs ticking for a moment before he raised an eyebrow--as confused and doofy as always.

"...With me?"

"No, I was thinking with some other floppy-haired doofus who wears cute t-shirts," his sweet girl retorted dryly, rolling her eyes because that was the first thing he said. Rizzmaster Ray was back, the smoothest operator in Swellview.

"Of course, I meant you."

"Oh!... You think I'm cute?" He grinned cheekily, practically buzzing with enamouring, boyish charm as he basked in her love. It made him feel special, every moment like the first when he realised that she wanted to do grown-up things...with him! He still got butterflies, and they blocked out the arguing in the next room as they giggled.

"I think you're adorable, but that's beside the point," (y/n) noted, casting her mind back to when he had her in their bed, waking her up the right way. "Y'know, we were a little rushed the other day..."

"Don't even get me started..." Ray groaned, closing his eyes and seeing her gorgeous body painted on his eyelids. Her thighs muffling his world, eyes closed, mouth open, her body in the morning light - he'd never been more thankful for windows, wondering what he'd missed in their old home's artificial glare.

"And you didn't even get a chance to fuck me...You know I was walking funny for an hour after. Made me cum so hard, Captain..." Her mouth was hot against his ear, dipping low - barely above a whisper - and gentle as her fingers ran down his throat and chest, igniting fire where they touched. It was like a secret between them, navels pushed together as he inhaled sharply, one hand resting on her ass warningly.

"Tell me why I shouldn't get you on your knees right now..." he growled, kneading whatever flesh he could reach as her lips ghosted his, barely brushing together. He didn't care if time was precious; so was she, and she could handle the problem she caused.

"You could..." the woman hummed, fingertips dangerously dancing down the line of buttons on his shirt, passing his belly button.

"Think you deserve a little attention. I could just drop right now and suck you off. Wrap my lips around your cock until you're cumming down my throat--wouldn't take long. Know why?"

"Fuck---why?" Ray asked thickly, choking when she cupped him through his suit pants, grinning like a vixen when she felt his turgid length. She wasn't the only one feeling a little...pent-up after missing her body the past few days.

"'Cause you haven't taken your eyes off my ass in this skirt once. Don't think I haven't seen you drooling over it..." she teased, gently stroking against his length, smirking when he grew beneath her touch until he strained against the stiff, navy material.

"Makes me so fucking hard..." He didn't need to confess; she knew it--saw it in the way he tilted his head back and spoke in feeble groans, swallowing with a dry mouth as she ran kisses down his neck. They stumbled around the room, bumping into the old chalkboard until a suspicious, ass-shaped smudge ran across it, not that they cared.

Ray was desperate to find a surface--any surface where he could bend her over and take his fill. Pots clattered on the floor as they jostled, more taken with wandering hands and rough kisses than watching where they were going. Yet he couldn't find purchase and settled for holding her figure against his, debating if the floor would be any good as she squeezed his outline.

"Wanna suck your cock so bad, doofus." She purred, throaty and wet, as he gasped, sweat dappling on his brow from the desperation. Three days was too long when he was so used to having her daily.

"Get on your knees, then."

"Of course, Captain--tonight," (y/n) promised, smirking wickedly as she wrenched her hands away and stepped back, fighting the urge to do as he said. Submitting would be too easy, and she still hadn't forgotten how he'd left her legless and delirious that morning, boasting about his new record.

This was his just reward, standing there with an obvious tenting in his riding trousers, even though it felt like punishment for her, too. An ache settled between her thighs, calling for her husband to do his husbandly duties. Still, she refrained, glancing at her elegant watch and baulking at the time. Goodness! The children! The scandal!

"What?--Sweet girl, w-what? Come back!" Ray yelped, feeling like he could collapse. His eyes almost fell out of his head when the electricity between them vanished - burning passion turning frigid as she backed off.

He stared after her, lightheaded and dazed as his cock throbbed, but she made no move to seduce him any further. He hoped, begged, and prayed that she was stripping that blouse and skirt off, but she merely straightened the wrinkled suit, smoothing the arms and patting down her ruffled hair before turning on her heel. And it was like a punch to the butterflies in his gut.

It was like nothing had happened at all, his wife looking like the respectable lady she always was as she glanced at the door to the classroom. Her eyes settled on his rapidly rising and falling chest before drifting to the apex of his thighs, and he swore she licked her lips, but it must've been a mind trick. After all, he stood in shambles as she grinned wickedly, proud of the mess she'd made.

"We have a class to teach, Raymond. The children are expecting us, so I'll see you out there," (y/n) told him curtly as she rested a hand on the doorknob, knowing he'd need a second to sort himself out. Perhaps it was a little evil, and her lusting heart cursed her for ruining its fun before it started, but she promised it would be worth it.

Tonight, when they fell into bed with all their worries over, he'd pin her down and... That would be worth the wait.

"Wha--hey! (y/n)! Fuck!" Although she could've told him that. Ray cursed and nearly tripped over his feet as he watched his wife slink out of the room, surrounding herself with children to ensure he couldn't hunt her down and bend her over a desk.

It was the world's best defence, yet he found himself defenceless, knowing it would look suspicious if she began teaching without him. He had a few minutes at most, staring longingly at the door she disappeared through and feeling her lips on his again.

Tonight can't come soon enough, Ray thought, sliding down the wall with a hand pressed against his forehead. He wouldn't find release now; even though he wanted to, he'd wait for the opportune moment, turning his thoughts elsewhere, banishing those of his precious wife next door, flaunting herself in that skirt.

That goddamn skirt.

Out in the classroom, the kids bickered amongst themselves but were thankfully sat at their desks as (y/n) sauntered in.

There was a cocky swing to her hips, a spring in her step, and a bright smile as she faced her pupils, although four were slightly confused at Ray's disappearance. Percy and Miriam sat on the rickety, old health hazards Bose had found, the boy in the wheelchair and the girl on the termite stool. They looked uncomfortable but didn't show it, beaming back pleasantly, eager to learn as the heroine thought about what they could do.

The plan was to make them want to leave - the thought alone was enough to make her tummy feel queasy - and whilst (y/n) didn't like the idea of being mean, she didn't let it show, except for rubbing her sweaty palms.

"Where's Ray?" Mika asked, blinking innocently as her teacher paused beside her desk, pursing her lips and thinking rapidly. She froze, stuttering as Danger Force looked at her strangely - some more clued in than others.

"Um...he's tying his shoelaces," the woman replied dumbly, but it was all she could think of on her feet. The newcomers seemed to buy it, bobbing and nodding gently as they tried to get comfy on their chairs. Chapa didn't believe it, still looking creepy in her Halloween mask.

"He was wearing boots..." she remarked dryly, and her friends followed suit. As confident as that skirt suit made her, she was acting weird. Miles craned his head around her body to try and peek into the cupboard, wondering where the hero had disappeared. But (y/n) wouldn't let him, jumping into his view before he could spot anything, chuckling nervously as she looked for a distraction.

"Boots can have laces..." she said anxiously before spotting a mini whiteboard tucked into a corner. A small smile spread across her cheeks as she pulled it out in the middle of the room, gesturing for the kids to nudge their desks around to face it.

"No, they don't."

"Where's Teacher?" Miriam asked sweetly, peering up at the lovely lady with her round, hazel eyes, making her stumble a little. How could one lie to a face like that? But (y/n) had to try, gulping the lump in her throat as Mika followed her every move, sensing that Ray was...up to something.

"Uh, he's coming. A problem...came up."

"A problem?" Bose asked, eyelashes fluttering as his desk span around, forming a neat little circle with the others as the woman set up everything in the centre for her and Ray to teach.

She adjusted the board, found some dry-erase markers, and dragged one of her husband's beloved bouncy ball chairs for him to bounce on. The day's lesson was supposed to be math, not her doofus' strongest subject, but she loved it, practically buzzing at the thought of numbers and such. Scribbling the word on the board, she hoped he wouldn't be too long, knowing she wasn't good at this lying thing.

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Is it a big problem, Miss?" Percy inquired, worried that his instructor was having difficulties. If anything was wrong, he'd be the first to volunteer, although his frown deepened when Mrs Manchester snorted and coughed, a wobbly smile struggling to stay off her face. What was wrong with her now?

"You could say that..." (y/n) giggled to herself quietly, picturing her grumpy lover and his problem. She had no idea how he was dealing with it, but her tummy fluttered at what her brain conjured up. While she was squealing like a schoolgirl, the kids exchanged some bored and mildly disgusted glances, putting two and two together and then stopping. They didn't dare imagine what she was grinning about.

"Do we even want to know?"

"No--it's nothing. We--I mean, he--I mean...nothing. Oh look, it's Professor Manchester, everybody," the heroine stammered before catching a glimpse of her husband. He strolled out of the cupboard like nothing was wrong, crossing his jacket across his chest and clearing his throat - nothing out of the ordinary, save for his dark eyes.

They landed on his sweet girl, or so he deemed her, shooting her a knowing look as he approached to give her a chaste kiss and fleeting embrace, ready to educate. His hands squeezed her hips as he greeted the children, pretending nothing was wrong when they chatted and squirmed in their seats excitedly.

"The minute we're alone, sweet girl..." he whispered hotly, mouth beside her ear so the kids couldn't hear him. A shiver ran through her body as she looked up at him and nodded weakly, pupils dilating and heart racing.

"Okay, everybody, settle down. It's learning time..." (y/n) called to the kids, clapping her hands to mask how she fanned her warm cheeks. That man would be the death of her, never once straying from behind her as she beamed at the group. Together again, she lit up the room with her doofus, knowing he'd probably had to coach himself into calming down - dull thoughts of taxes, golf, and politicians.

"Right, you are, pretty girl," Ray sighed, still all soft and gooey-eyed for his wife, even if she liked to tease him in closets like that.

"Now, children, what is math? Can you touch it? Can you hold it in your hand? If you shake it, would it rattle?"

"I don't think I've ever shaken math, doofus," his wife retorted with a bemused smile, lightly gripping his arm. He was adorable, pretending like he knew anything about the subject as she felt his biceps. Luckily, the kids followed anything he said, ignoring the lesson yet eager to trick Percy and Miriam into leaving, even if they were ever so lovely.

"Over the next forty-five minutes, we're gonna find out together the answer to all these questions and more... And I think, along the way, we're gonna have a little bit of fun," the man told the children dreamily, booping his darling wife's nose, making her wrinkle it like a bunny.

Meanwhile, as he talked nonsense, Chapa sneakily reached across to the keenly listening Brits, handing her hands behind the desk as she lightly zapped both with a small burst of lightning. Percy and Miriam jumped, freezing in their painful seats as all their hairs stood on end, shocked by what had just mysteriously happened.

"Ahh!"

"Good heavens! My termite bench just gave me quite a shock!" Miriam gasped, her brother too stunned to speak for a minute.

"Bet it hurt, right?" Chapa questioned darkly, peering at the polite children behind her creepy, babyish mask. But they didn't appear too troubled, annoyingly refusing to stand up from the infested wood since that would be terribly rude and discourteous to their generous hosts.

"Indeed, it did," Percy nodded, only for his ginger sister to stop him, a gentle look coming over her.

"But you know, Percy, that brief pain made me grateful for all the time I'm not in pain!" She sighed, practically angelic in everything she did and said, as her fellow students smacked their foreheads and internally groaned. What kind of kid thought like that? She had to be hiding a saint under that headscarf, fluttering her eyelashes innocently as her rosy, freckled cheeks twitched into a smile - almost heaven-sent.

"Quite so! It seems like the lessons at this school go beyond what can be learned from books alone."

"What?" (y/n) murmured dryly, quirking an eyebrow at the boy and his Gospel-like ridiculous words. She placed her hands on Ray's shoulders as he plopped onto the bouncy chair, leaning his arms on the backrest while he, too, gave the orphans a bored glance. She almost felt bad for them, wondering what they'd endured to be grateful for the absence of pain. Still, Percy was just annoying - kissing ass with his smarmy ideas.

"May I also say I love your festive mask!" Miriam told Chapa kindly, the disguise's creepiness barely affecting her as she beamed like sunshine. It was sickening to the cold, callous girl, who growled as they tried another trick.

"Yeah, I love yours, too..." She sassed, much to the English girl's confusion, but she quickly saw what Bose was trying to do, spotting a pencil high above their heads. Something more menacing would've been better, but the boy could barely lift the graphite, so she laid the acting on thick.

"Look! A floating pencil!"

"Oh no, this place is haunted!..." Ray remarked tiredly, barely using a tenth of Chapa's excitement since he was too entranced by his wife's light massage, her fingers expertly kneading the knots in his shoulders. He needed it more than he realised, practically purring putty in her hands as Percy and Miriam gawped at the hovering pencil, wondering which spirit was haunting them. And surprisingly, they were superstitious, buying the deception without a doubt, more like a reverent trust.

"Souuuuup!" Bose groaned quietly, hoping the new students didn't notice his twitching hands or ghostly noises. Still, thankfully, they were too bewitched to notice or care. To them, this was a sign from the dead, and who were they to ignore such a command?

"Spirits? Can you hear us? Tell Princess Diana that our country misses her so!" Miriam begged the floating pencil, sounding utterly ridiculous but sweet with her innocence.

"Seriously? Lady Diana?" (y/n) scoffed, her hands settling on Ray's shoulders at the sight of--was that tears in their eyes? She didn't know why they'd want to cry over a woman dead for nearly thirty or why such a royal lady would haunt a pencil. Still, no one could tell them anything - a painful view for her and Mika, the Smarties.

"And we hope she's having all the soup her heart desires!" That was the final straw. Bose released the pencil with a huff, slumping in his seat like Chapa when Percy faced the soup ghost head-on rather than fleeing, obviously not frightened. It was frustrating, yet...

"I'm sorry. I can't get over this..." Miles spoke before turning to the kids as if he couldn't cope with their relentless good manners. "When you were at the bus station, where did you go to the bathroom?!"

"Seriously? That's the bit you're still focusing on?" Miss Danger asked him flatly, fingertips dancing around Ray's freshly shaven throat and jaw. The boy couldn't let it go, pleading with a baffled Miriam and Percy to tell him where they...went, even though it was obvious.

And amongst the termite stool, soup ghost, and Diana, Princess of Goddamn Wales, he still wanted to know which was Ray's last straw.

"All right, that's it! Test of strength!" He declared, abruptly standing from his bouncy chair, despite how it felt to be under his wife's touch. The longer he sat and listened to them spouting their accented gibberish, the longer he had to wait until he could throw her on their mattress, so he took action, stomping over to the high striker.

Bose helped Mika push her desk out of the way, creating more room for whichever unfortunate soul the headmaster chose to use his contraption. (y/n) closely behind, standing in front of a highly bored Schwoz and wondering what her lover had planned - whatever it was, it wouldn't be good.

"You, Benedict Cumberbutt! Get up here!" He ordered Percy curtly, but the short boy didn't grumble like any polite person. He rose from the antique wheelchair and quickly hobbled over to his teacher, ready and willing to do whatever was instructed.

"Take this hammer. Hit that, and try to get Professor Schwoz to ring the bell."

"Hello!" Schwoz waved at the puzzled children, who'd seen many strange things in their brief yet tumultuous lives, but the fuzzy little weirdo had to be one of the most peculiar. Still, Percy didn't argue, taking an old, woodworm-riddled hammer from Ray, which he had to use all his might to lift high above his head.

"I shall try my level my best!"

"Um, doofus, are you sure this is safe? Will it even make them leave?" (y/n) hissed worriedly as he urged her to move back, ensuring he was in front of her for when the boy whacked the target. She glanced at how Percy strained to raise the hammer, looking like he was about to topple over, and she didn't want to know what would happen to Schwoz, aware of Ray's favourite tricks.

Yet he gathered her in his arms once she and the other kids were far enough away, kissing her gently as he enjoyed her body against his. Perhaps it was a little mean, but he was sure it would drive them out, and Schwoz would survive. Probably.

"See the head on that hammer?" He whispered in her ear before pecking the inch of skin below it.

"I swapped it out with a Bolivian Boom Stone."

"Please, tell me you didn't..." (y/n) sighed, hiding behind her hands, although she couldn't help but peek through her fingers as her husband giggled impishly into her neck. No wonder he looked so excited, nearly trembling as he squeezed her waist and smooched her throat before eyeing Percy, who was ready to hit the target.

"Shhhh! Here we go!" He squealed, curling around her protectively as the clueless children watched closely.

"For the Princess!" Percy cried, hitching the hammer over his shoulder before he slammed it down with a mighty swing. The second it hit the high striker, the head exploded in a powerful, blue fireball, sending sparks, smoke, and dust through the air - him, too. The poor kid was blasted through the roof, coming down and landing on the cold, hard floor with a dull thud as Miriam gasped in horror.

(y/n) doubted that Lady Di would be impressed with that performance.

"My brother!" The young girl shrieked, running over to Percy's side with a wretched expression.

"My knitting!" Schwoz whimpered, too, although he wasn't cooked like the boy was - just a little smoky. Percy was toast, though, lying on the tiles, moaning and groaning, covered in soot. He was dazed and confused, swearing he couldn't see, think, or hear correctly, yet he clambered to his feet, hunched over a desk for support as his sister tittered and fussed.

They had no idea what had happened, but they always grinned and bore the pain with good humour and a sweet smile.

"It's okay! I've always wanted to fly!" He exclaimed happily, a slight groan in his voice, but he was irritatingly resilient, making the Danger Force team groan and curse the day he was born. Even if Miriam was delighted that he was okay, they were devastated, barely holding back their grumbles since nothing they did could make them leave.

The school day was nearly over, and they'd have to try again tomorrow, but not before dealing with the dozens of emergencies that came through while entertaining Little Miss Muffet and her brother. Ray's wishes for a quiet moment wouldn't come true so soon...

~Early the following day ~

In all her days as a superhero, (y/n) had never experienced such a rough night.

Percy and Miriam didn't budge from their respective stool or chairs. They listened intently to whatever the Danger Force team threw their way until the final bell rang to signal school was out. Walking out the doors with bright smiles and cheery waves, they promised to return tomorrow, which Ray couldn't wait for, especially since he had to go into the city to fight crime.

His special night turned into a disaster when they saw the mountain of emergency calls on the supercomputer, waiting for whichever hero to respond. There were dozens of voicemails, more than he'd ever left hanging. He had no choice but to apologise to his precious wife before sending her and the kids on missions.

Intimacy was forgotten, and so was that moment alone, and whilst (y/n) didn't complain, taking Chapa to go and save a hippie in a tree, she was disappointed. And that made him mad, meaning that by the time the sun crept over the hills, he was beyond pissed - borderline insane.

An agonising twelve hours later, the crew trudged into the Man's Nest, where Schwoz had napped, waiting for their return. It was nice that someone could sleep - poor Mika could barely keep her eyes open as she arrived in the tubes, every inch of her body hurting.

"Kill me. Kill me now..." (y/n) grumbled as they hobbled down the steps, barely functioning after back-to-back missions and zero sleep. She tried to power-nap during the brief intermissions between rescues but never switched off, so she cried out for her bed, even if it wasn't how she and Ray had hoped.

The kids grunted in agreement as they shuffled onto the floor, their Captain clumsily following behind them with his eyes barely open. He'd been uncharacteristically silent during the trip back, slumping on his wife's shoulder as she navigated the route home. Still, everyone was too tired to notice his maddened ramblings and bizarre behaviour.

"I'm so tired..." Mika groaned before yawning, so sleepy that she accidentally activated her super-scream. A small shockwave rumbled through the air, hitting Schwoz where he napped - upside from a pole across the ceiling, looking like a goddamn bat. It couldn't be comfortable, sleeping with all the blood rushing to his brain, but it was just another weird Schwoz habit, even if no one could get used to it.

"Sorry..." She told him tiredly when he hit the floor with a squeak, wondering what had hit him as he scrambled to his feet, clad in thick, navy blue plaid pyjamas.

But it wasn't entirely her fault; even Miles was affected, stretching as he yawned, and when he raised his arm, he accidentally teleported, spooking his sister when he appeared beside her in a flash of light and slumped on the couch.

"Where have you beens all night?" Schwoz asked, having fallen asleep waiting for them, and it hadn't been a restful period.

"Fighting crime..." Bose replied, and if any of them felt any better, they would've been ecstatic to tell the genius all about it. The adults couldn't do it single-handedly, so for once, Ray and (y/n) relented, allowing them to deal with minor emergencies. At the same time, they took the big stuff like robberies, villains, and murders, which really affected the guy.

Ray muttered gibberish as he mushed his face into his sweet girl's shoulder and collapsed over the couch, scrubbing his gloved hand over his face. (y/n) absentmindedly petted his ruffled hair, head jerking when she nearly nodded off, standing up. Yet she refused to fall asleep when everyone else still worked, no matter if she was a walking vegetable.

"We had to take care of all the emergencies we missed during the day when Percy and Miriam were here," Chapa explained, ignoring how weird her mentor was acting, assuming that he was just snuggling with (y/n/n) like he always did--and they'd all learned to look over that.

"Well, ten more emergencies came in while you were gone," Schwoz revealed, much to their horror. It was only a tiny amount, but they had nothing to give, feeling ready to collapse since it took the rest of their energy reserves to keep talking.

But, while they all groaned, something weird happened. Ray flinched upward, standing oddly straight as he growled at no one as if he were having an argument with thin air. His lips moved, but no words came out; it sounded like a conversation as he clumsily pawed at his wife before bumbling across the room toward the front door.

"What's wrong with Ray?" Bose asked, wondering where the hero was going in such a hurry when he'd worked himself half to death.

"Oh no..." Schwoz gulped worriedly, staring after the man as he grumpily pushed through the glass doors, seemingly looking for something.

He glanced at (y/n), who'd not even noticed his disappearance as she bent over at a ninety-degree angle onto the couch, dozing with her arms resting on the squishy backrest. She just wanted to close her eyes for a second, humming contently as sleep crept into her mushy mess of a brain.

"Is that a good oh no?"

"Oh, no, no! It's a bad one! (y/n/n), did you not put Ray down for a nap last night?" The small man panicked as he dashed over to the woman's side, poking her in the ribs to try and keep her awake.

She grumbled throatily, swatting at his hand as she tried to resume her mini-nap; she deserved one. While he'd had a peaceful night, she'd been walking - in heels - for nine hours straight, had been puked on by a drunk man, choked by a wannabe supervillain, and had fought with a sumo wrestler over a turkey sandwich. She deserved that nap.

But Schwoz wouldn't let up, grabbing her by the forearms and roughly shaking some consciousness into her because they had a different kind of emergency on their hands. Everyone assumed that Ray just liked getting his wife into bed, often seen dozing with her whenever they had a free moment, whether it be on the couch or in their room, but he needed that sleep. His superpower took a lot out of him, and bad things happened when he couldn't hold her in his arms...

"(y/n), wake up! Did you and Ray have a nap last night?!"

"Does it look like I had a nap last night? Now...Ray--Ray--Ray--Ray-Ray...My hubby, Ray..." She hummed, looking utterly stupid with that dopey grin, grumpy about not sleeping, but talking about her lover made her so silly, smiling like an idiot as she tried to think.

"Um...He likes sleeping. Sleeps on the right side of the bed. Doesn't like pyjamas. Uses..." she yawned loudly and abruptly, "peppermint toothpaste. Likes the room freezing cold 'cause he's this big...warm...doo--doofus."

"Yes, but did he have a nap?!" Schwoz asked exasperatedly, patting her cheek to try and make her focus. He didn't care if she knew his nighttime routine like the back of her hand, only that it was usually her job to ensure he got enough sleep. God knows that man would run around all day if no one was there to tempt him into the bedroom.

"Um...no?" She offered awkwardly, suddenly feeling a little soberer as her skin stung, and a terrible realisation dawned on her. "Oh, shit... I completely forgot about his nap! We were just so busy, and he seemed fine... This is bad."

"Why?" Miles asked quietly, frowning when he watched the woman rake her shaky fingers through her tussled hair, eyes bloodshot and wide. She was panicking, hugging her body, when her bottom lip wobbled like she'd done something terrible. She looked guilty and scared as she craned toward the doors, hoping to spot her husband before he went berserk.

"If Ray doesn't get enough sleep, he turns bad until he can sleep again! And believe me, he gets real grumpy if (y/n) isn't with him!"

"Like a good bad?" Mika asked meekly, making Schwoz look at her dryly. They didn't understand how bad this was, going beyond a quick cuddle on the couch. His dark glare made the kids shrink back, sensing the girl was clutching at straws, hoping against hope that it was a happy sneer.

"Remember Roy, who wanted to take candy from that handsome baby?"

"I remember Roy..." Chapa remarked when Schwoz smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, smoothing his ego when they should've been worrying about Ray. He was poking around the front porch, digging through his wife's pretty flowerbeds like a dog searching for a buried bone. It made her glance at him worriedly when he growled some indecipherable curse.

"Yeah, he was like Ray, but evil," Miles noted, knowing he'd never forget the man's weird performance, especially that moustache. But, despite how funny he was and primarily unthreatening, the idea of an evil Captain Man terrified the children because it wouldn't be make-believe. He'd try to hurt people and behave cruelly - the anti-doofus - making them shudder at the thought.

"That's what happens to Ray if he doesn't get enough sleep," (y/n) sighed, holding her clammy cheeks as she shook her head sadly, scolding herself for not seeing the signs because she was merely exhausted.

And, speaking of the devil, Ray burst through the door, stumbling down the steps like a drunkard, heading for the group with a vicious snarl. He said something, sounding like he was talking to Chapa. Still, no one could work out what he was saying, slurring his words until her name and laughing sounded like gibberish - either way, he looked furiously determined.

"Schwoz! Do you still keep your flesh-eating bacteria in this old mayonnaise jar?" He asked through a yawn, knocking into his sweet girl as she stared at him in alarm, terrified that he even wanted to hold that much in his hand. It was one of the genius' more revolting experiments, and she didn't like to mess with it, having watched the lethal gunge strip melt the meat off a chicken drumstick in ten seconds flat.

"No, doofus, don't touch that!" She ordered him, tentatively reaching out to take it off him before he did himself mischief, but Ray refused. He whined at her defiantly, sounding like a moody child as he pulled the jar out of her reach and unscrewed the lid. Everyone jumped back in terror when the bacteria breathed fresh air, quietly hissing and fizzing like they whispered for flesh, and no one fancied being its dinner.

"Answered my own question. I'mma go throw it on those kids." Ray sniffed casually, spinning clumsily on his heel as if he was going to hunt down Percy and Miriam, wherever they lived, and coat them in that goop...

As annoying as they were, no one deserved that, making his friends cringe and scream when he tried to walk away.

"No, Roy--I mean, Ray, you shouldn't do that!" (y/n) told him, reaching out to catch his arm before he could stomp away. Luckily, the man couldn't ignore his precious girl, even in his drained state, turning around to meet her eye with a dumb expression. He looked rough, hair all unkempt and fluffy - so unlike his usual groomed mane - and his skin looked dull and blotchy, but he tried his best to focus on his wife when his heart pulled toward her.

"Why not, darlin'?" He pouted, behaving only because she was watching.

"Um...it might get on you, and I don't want to ruin this handsome face!" She laughed nervously, cupping his cheeks whilst edging away from the putrid jar, which she swore hissed at her. He sighed at her touch, head lolling forward like he could go to sleep right then and there, but he refused, shaking his body to snap out of it - although laying down with her for a little while didn't sound so bad.

"I'm indestructible...and so tired!" He yawned, moving to kiss her forehead, but it was more of a headbutt, making (y/n) yelp. As she rubbed her sore skull, the doofus plodded away, swearing he didn't need to sleep because he had a job to get rid of those British kids if it was the last thing he did.

"But it still might eat off all of your hair!" Schwoz called after him, matching the heroine's worry when the man headed toward the door again.

"No! Not the floppy floof!" (y/n) whimpered childishly, stamping her foot as her exhaustion made her stroppy. She pouted and crossed her arms, looking like a scolded toddler at the thought of losing one of her favourite doofy features. But Ray wasn't listening, even as the bacteria hungered for sustenance.

"Shut up, bacteria! Leave me alone! My wife says I'm so...handsome!" He rambled, pushing the door open with a limp arm as he cradled the mayo jar to his chest.

His sweet girl longed to go after him, feeling weepy and tired that she had jelly legs, so it was up to Schwoz to chase after him while the kids rallied around her.

"Okay, new problem. We can't let Ray throw that flesh-eating bacteria on Percy and Miriam," Mika sighed, patting the woman soothingly on the back as her friends agreed, even Chapa. She was mean and ruthless, but she only wanted to scare them away, not melt them like butter, so, as much as it played against her morals, she knew they had to stop the man.

And that wouldn't be easy after staying up all night.

"Step one--we stay awake. If we fall asleep, we can't protect Percy and Miriam." She nodded, steeling herself and ignoring her desperate wish to curl up in a ball and sleep. It was okay; she'd pulled all-nighters before, although it wasn't on a school night.

"You sure? You guys haven't stopped since yesterday afternoon," (y/n) fretted, noticing the bags under their eyes and how droopy Mika looked. And, when she tucked her fingers under Chapa's chin, analysing her worriedly, the girl didn't even jerk away with blushing cheeks, holding her eyelids shut for a long second.

"We're fine, (y/n/n). School starts in ten minutes," Miles assured her, ignoring how his eyes couldn't focus on anything for more than ten seconds.

"Good. We can make it ten minutes."

"Yeah! I'm not tired at all!" Bose smiled cockily, reclining against the couch to try and convince their only sane teacher. They had no idea how the lesson would go if Ray was off his rocker, but one thing was for sure - sleep was their enemy, and they were on their guard.

Nope, they wouldn't drop off. They were superheroes, and sleep was for the weak. Definitely. Nothing would get past them, no matter if they just closed their eyes for a quick second...counting sheep...dreaming of bedtime...pillows and cotton wool. So...very...sleepy.

Or not. The second the kids sat down at their desks, bones aching after so much hard work, a wave of sleepiness washed over them.

The class had barely begun, yet their heads dipped, resting on their open books and tables as Percy and Miriam stood silently in the doorway. They were baffled to see their fellow students snoring away with the lovely Mrs Manchester swaying on the stage with bleary eyes and dull reflexes. She greeted them quietly, waving weakly as she rubbed her eyes, looking dreadful without a touch of concealer and blush for her pesky complexion.

"Hello, P-Piriam and Mercy...welcome to your s-second day," (y/n) spoke softly, bumbling over those tricky syllables as the children frowned in concern. They'd never comment on her appearance - they were far too polite to tell her that her blouse wasn't buttoned up correctly and her jacket looked dirty - but she was acting weird and looked worse.

"Miss...are you all right? Miriam asked kindly, wondering why the woman who seemed so sharp yesterday was swaying from side to side as she waited for her crazed husband.

"Yes, thank you. I am exquisite! Would you be so kind as to join your fellow academics of the scholarly arts?" She asked, gesturing to their rickety seats as she mimicked their accents, unable to help herself. Nothing made sense; she smiled dreamily at the confused girl as she nearly tripped over her feet since the world felt fuzzy.

"Um...hello, schoolmates?" Percy called out tentatively, scared to sit down as they slumbered silently on their desks, sniffling and snuffling in their sleep but not replying.

"Oh, Percy! What's wrong with them?--"

"I'm awake!" The siblings peered at the superhero kids, alarmed at how Mika suddenly shot up with wide eyes and stiff limbs, screaming to the heavens. She swore she'd only closed her eyes briefly, waking her friends up simultaneously, so they all saw that they'd been napping for fifteen minutes or more. (y/n) was too nice to wake them up, hoping they could catch a few winks before Ray turned up, wherever he was.

"Is there something wrong?" The polite boy asked warmly, and the kids all turned to stare at them, thankfully noticing the lack of mayo. How long had they been standing there?

"Yes! You guys gotta get out of here!" Mika told them urgently, fearing what her boss would do when he found them. Sweet girl or no sweet girl, she felt that, at this point, Ray was too tired to listen to anyone.

"We would never abandon you in a time of need!"

"No, SWAG for life, I say!"

"And so say I!" Miriam and Percy declared, refusing to flee when there was danger. Whilst it was noble and valiant of them, especially how they thumped their clenched fists against their chests like some kind of oath, it made their new friends groan in frustration. They couldn't help but be nice, even though it was for their own good--and it was becoming grating.

"(y/n), have you seen Ray?" Suddenly, Schwoz burst into the room from the cupboard, looking frantic and nervous as his eyes scoured the room for the fatigued hero.

"If I had, we'd be sleeping by now," the heroine replied, only to pause her temple massage when a thought hit her, "Wait, I thought he was with you!"

"Yah...he's not."

"Schwoz!" (y/n) facepalmed, gaze flickering to Miriam and Percy as they smiled and waved pleasantly. Bless them - they didn't understand what was happening, although she wasn't sure if they'd run away screaming if they knew the anti-doofus was hunting them with murderous bacteria. They'd probably through it a tea party, not that they'd let Ray near them.

Her poor doofus was probably scared, alone, and confused, blinded by his exhaustion, which made her heart throb and long to guide him to their room. They'd nap for ten hours at least, then some more until he forgot about the mayonnaise and became his silly, lovable self again. She hated the thought of everyone fearing him - it wasn't his fault.

"Okay, out the door! Let's go--Let's go--s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go!" Mika shouted, taking charge of the situation as the adults bickered, the heroine scolding Schwoz for somehow losing a six-foot bumbling man.

But there was no time for arguing as they ushered the orphans outside, pulling the big, heavy, wooden doors open--only to see Roy waiting menacingly on the porch. He looked worse than before, barely having the strength to don his dandy attire, so his shirt and jacket were rumpled, cravat pulled loose down his front, and his pants didn't look ironed. He hadn't had a wash or bothered to brush his hair since that took more effort than he had, yet the mayonnaise jar was still tightly in his palm.

His wife whimpered at how...awful he looked, glaring at poor Percy and Miriam as they cowered in the doorway, terrified of the insane glint in his eye. That wasn't the doofus she married, all red-faced and crazy, with eyes for nothing but murder.

"Cheerio, kiddies! Who's hungry for mayonnaise?!" Ray cackled evilly, brandishing the jar in the horrified kids' faces, and even Danger Force was scared. They shrieked in terror, Bose trembling and hiding in (y/n)'s arms, as Chapa and Miles pushed him back a few paces and attempted to close the doors--anything to keep him out. Meanwhile, Mika pulled Percy and Miriam further into the classroom, knowing they'd have to defend them from there.

"Into the closet, Canadians!" Bose instructed them, meaning well, even if he was a little confused.

"Is there something wrong with Teacher?" Percy snivelled at (y/n) as she guided him and his sister into the back room, praying they'd be safe there. It broke her heart to hear his question, not knowing how to explain to the doe-eyed boy that her husband wanted to watch the flesh melt off their bones, so she just smiled and shoved him behind the door.

"Yes! Everything's fine--just don't come out until we tell you!" She laughed nervously as if her frenzied actions didn't shout the opposite. They slammed the door shut, lamenting that there was a lock, but they stood fast, Mika and Bose working to block the door while the heroine protected them.

Her husband finally shouldered in the door, unable to direct his sausage-like fingers to use the handle. Still, he made it, delirious and determined to hunt down those kids. But (y/n) wouldn't let him, knowing that while it broke her heart, she'd whack him if she had to, resolved to keep her babies safe, no matter what.

And she supposed that, even if it was for a little while, and even if they were annoyingly mannerly, Percy and Miriam fell into that category. Her duty was to keep them safe, especially from the thing haunting her husband.

"Where are those, Brits, (y/n)? I gotta get rid of those kids!" Ray - or Roy - asked gruffly, staring at his trembling with uncommonly dark and harsh eyes, unlike the innocent blue she was used to.

She tried not to take it to heart as she faced him, arms crossed across her chest to shield her love from his malice - telling herself that her doofus would never use her real name in such a casual fashion. Her husband only called her by the sweetest words, saying them with love and affection, and he'd never sneer at his students like that.

"Doofus, you need to sleep! Why don't we just go lie down? Hmmm?" She offered gently, resting her flat palms on his chest as she fluttered her eyelashes to entice him, which worked briefly. The man laid his hands on her hips, gaze softening at her touch and sweet proposal, and it sounded heavenly, almost enough to tempt him into dropping the jar, but he shook his head and growled.

"Which I'll never get as long as they're here! We'll sleep when they're gone!"

"Okay, Raymond, if you act like a child, I will treat you like a child," (y/n) growled, clutching his untucked shirt as she frowned and dug her heels into the floor.

"You've got two options, mister. Come to bed with me right now, or I'll drag your ass there myself, and you'll sleep alone." She huffed, folding her arms to show she meant business. No one else dared to meet Roy's glare, but she bravely blocked him with her body as he pouted, something deep down in his heart telling his sleepy brain that its match wasn't happy. The aching in his chest didn't cease, but he ignored it, even if her sad stare made it worse.

"...Third option--spin move!" He snapped rebelliously and, much to her shock, dashed to dodge past her. She was expecting some trick, moving in time with the hulking hero, but for someone so bulky, he was agile, wriggling past her defences to charge at the kids - the last line of defence.

With Miss Danger tripping over herself, Chapa stepped up, conjuring a mighty jolt of electricity to shock Ray in the chest. It stunned him briefly, making him gasp and shudder as he scowled and took a moment to recover. Miles tucked himself under his arm while frozen, making (y/n) sniffle at how roughly they had to treat him.

"Next stop--the Man's Nest!" The boy quipped, ensuring his teacher was securely in his grasp before thrusting his arm in the air, teleporting them out of the room. Everyone could breathe a sigh of relief...for about five seconds. Unfortunately, Miles' inability to land correctly meant that he and Ray reappeared less than a metre away, incoherent and confused from the short trip.

"Oh, come on! Not even out of the room?!" And no one was more upset than Miles, who frowned and stamped his foot when he noticed how miserably he'd done, perhaps even only succeeded in edging the sleepy man closer to their wards.

"Lemme at those kids!" Ray screeched, holding the jar of flesh-eating bacteria high above his head, ready to toss it at whichever Brit came his way. Chapa pressed herself against the door, blocking him from reaching the door handle as Percy and Miriam cowered in the closet, hearing nothing but raised voices and arguing.

"You know we can't let you do that, Raymond!" (y/n) growled, her mean glare distracting him long enough for Bose to sneak in with his telekineses.

The hero couldn't help but feel bad as his precious girl hissed at him, allowing the kid to carefully lift the jar out of his hand and harm's way until it floated high above Ray's head. He swatted the air for it, growling for the mayo to return to him, but even he wasn't tall enough to jump and grab it. Thankfully, it wasn't too heavy for Bose to use his power, keeping him bouncing to reach it, giving his heavy-hearted wife quick peeks at his toned tummy when his shirt rose.

Mika went next, activating his super-scream to try and knock the hero over now that he was unarmed. Yet, unfortunately, she didn't aim very well. She accidentally hit Bose, too, toppling the kid over and shattering his concentration on the jar, making it fall through the air.

Whilst he fell to the floor, Ray stayed on his feet, confused and oblivious, until it crashed on his head, sending glass shards and thick, gloopy bacteria all over his beautiful hair. And those nasty critters were hungry. Instantly, it began to burn, chomping through his silken locks with a voracious hunger, making Ray grasp at his head in terror.

He yelled in horror, hands coated in the goo and clumps of his hair, extra terrified in his tired state. As the hero panicked and screamed in pain, his wife rushed to his side, nervous about getting anything on her since she wasn't quite indestructible but couldn't bear to see him in pain. He raced past her, running for the front door like the outdoors could save him from the itching, creepy-crawly tingling on his scalp, much to her concern.

"Raymond! His hair--his beautiful hair!" (y/n) blubbered, torn between chasing after him to try and wash it off and staying to keep watch. The damage was already done, and whilst she assumed Schwoz's science would fix the mess his bacteria caused, there was no helping him while he ran riot.

"Friends!" A joyous voice called out, and the group froze. They knew that chirpy tone and polite accent anywhere. "We can stay idle no longer!"

"Are you okay?" Miriam questioned kindly as she and Percy emerged from the closet, troubled by the bizarre and horrifying noises they heard through the door. They didn't mean to drop any eaves, but...it would be rude to not offer any assistance.

"Um...well..." (y/n) giggled nervously, scratching her head as she tried to explain everything. But how do you tell two children that your sleep-deprived husband went on a murderous rampage, and now bacteria were eating his hair? God, she wanted a nap, but at least things couldn't get much worse.

"Hello?! What's going on in there?" She spoke too soon. The headmistress felt her heart plummet into her tummy, alive with nerves at the sound of that shrill voice. And there was only one woman it belonged to - the one with the nose she liked to stick in unwanted places. Sharona Shapen and her impeccable timing.

She stomped into the classroom in another hideous suit: grey check with a flouncy lilac scarf, matching blouse, a little flower pin on her lapel, and a deep frown on her meerkat-like face. The kids froze upon seeing her, looking to (y/n) for help since she was supposed to be the teacher--the ringleader in their den of chaos.

"Normal school stuff?" She said anxiously, wiping her moist palms on her jacket as she subtly straightened herself out, patting down her skirt and tucking her hair behind her ears. The heroine refused to look subpar to that clown of a woman. Still, Sharona didn't spare her a glance, finding Percy and Miriam and grinning her toothy smile when she saw them standing together - fortunately, still in one piece.

"Ah-ha! There's my little British Bake-Offs! You're coming with me," she told them firmly in a weirdly happy voice.

The siblings peered at her strangely, wondering why the inspector had returned so quickly when they'd barely settled into their new school. But she insisted, not taking their confusion or no for an answer.

"What's this?"

"Whatever for?" They inquired, utterly puzzled they'd sworn their oath of allegiance or whatever, refusing to leave their friends simply because she said so.

"I got a new school for ya!"

"We will never leave our friends," Percy replied sharply, standing shoulder to shoulder with his sister as she readily agreed. Although their time had been short and weird, they felt a strange sense of loyalty. Still, perhaps that was simply their nobility and honour shining through, making Chapa wrinkle her nose in disgust.

"SWAG forever, I say!"

"And so say I!"

"Yeah, you're going to forget about these dopes in, like, two seconds when the horse-drawn carriage gets here," Sharona shrugged, having mysteriously found somewhere much more suitable for the orphans than the shitshow ran by that mousy woman and her handsome yet husband.

And speaking of that smoke show, Ray rolled in, screaming and shouting like a raving lunatic as he descended from the steps to the Man's Nest. (y/n) felt her mouth go dry and her intestines clench when she saw how he clutched at his smooth, shiny, bald head, completely stripped free of hair - even a stubble. The bacteria had left nothing behind, and for a guy so caught up in his appearance, the loss, combined with his exhaustion, was devastating.

"My hair! My beautiful hair!"

"Oh, doofus..." she mumbled, pressing a trembling hand against her cheek as he barrelled toward the group. He looked crazy in his sleek, rumpled, gunge-covered clothes, but she knew she still loved him, even if he looked like an egg. She wasn't so shallow as to focus on his lack of chocolate locks, even if she silently mourned its loss.

"Ah, it burns! Oh, God, it burns!" He shrieked, collapsing into the antique chair that Percy had been sitting in as it rolled out the door. Seeing a bald man with superpowers wheeling himself around his school for gifted children was a strange sight, shouting and screaming to God. Miss Shapen wondered what she'd walked into, and she was glad to return to save those poor orphans from the madness.

"What's his problem?"

"He just needs a nap--now, what's this about a horse-drawn carriage?" Chapa asked curiously, knowing her friend would get her doofus into bed once the strangers were gone, but she wanted to know where they were going. And in such luxury, at that.

"Some billionaire in Bordertown runs a school for poor, gifted English kids," Sharona explained excitedly, eager to whisk Percy and Miriam away from the cesspit of a school so she could go and enjoy the billionaire's company--and hopefully a few of his millions.

"Oh, does he?" Mika gasped incredulously, twirling a lock of her dark hair around her finger as she smirked at the odd woman--looking as if she knew something her friends didn't. It took a minute for (y/n) to figure it out, her brain not what it usually was when she was so tired, but then, it hit her. She didn't...did she?

"Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork to apply. I don't know how you did it!" The inspector remarked to Percy and Miriam, who looked just as flabbergasted as she did, not knowing what she was talking about. But Mika had it covered, silently smug that she'd tapped away on her computer as per her teacher's advice whilst they all doubted her.

"Me neither! It's almost like someone else filled out their applications for them!"

"Yeah, whatever! Anyway, each kid gets a million bucks and a banger of an education. Much better than this dump!" Miss Shapen cackled, much to (y/n)'s offence, who folded her arms and glared, looking slightly meaner than usual with her dark under-eyes and doofus-less status.

"Hey! I'll have you know my husband and I put our life savings into this place!" She retorted indignantly, highly protective of her beautiful school's windows and gardens. She left out the part where the good old taxpayer funded half of it, not that the odd woman needed to know that- they were obliged to Captain Man and Miss Danger for guarding them.

"Your husband?!" Sharona laughed cruelly, gesturing to where Ray rolled away, wailing hysterically. "What kind of gifted school is run by an old bald guy in a wheelchair?"

"I'll have you know, Sharona--"

"I am not old!" Ray snapped rudely, abruptly rolling into the room with a scowl, butting in when his sweet girl went to defend him. She sighed at the sorry sight he made, knowing it had been a trying few days for him, casting back to that promise she had made. Would they even have time for that now?

His head shined under the bright lights, looking particularly spherical and slick, exasperated by his kooky clothes. Yet despite everything, he was offended by the insinuation that he was old - his classic sore spot.

"Pipe down, Mr Clean!" Sharona hissed, scrunching her face in disgust at his unkempt, bohemian appearance. Before (y/n) could say something - or punch her in the teeth - the inspector stormed forward and kicked Ray's wheelchair, sending his back onto the porch as he clutched his sore, chilly scalp. How cruel - she picked on him at his most vulnerable.

"My doofus!" The heroine exclaimed in horror, cringing when she heard her lover whimper and crash into something.

"Listen here, Sharona," she snarled defensively, "what's your game? What do you want?"

"Your school can keep its license, Mrs Manchester, but I'm never sending any other students here again," the gaudy woman announced, much to Miriam and Percy's disappointment, their bottom lips wobbling. They didn't want to leave, but their friends couldn't help but secretly celebrate the news; they'd never have to worry about unwanted visitors again. They had Ray and his spectacular performance to thank for that.

"Now, come on, beans and toast. Time to Brexit!" Miss Shapen whistled to the orphans, ignoring their kicked-puppy expressions since she was on a roll with her British puns. She waltzed out of the classroom, expecting them to follow her, and the kids had no choice but to take their leave, but not before bidding their friends and instructor goodbye.

"We will never forget you! Thank you so much, Miss (y/n)!" Percy smiled and sniffed, blinking back tears as he suddenly wrapped his arms around (y/n)'s waist. The poor kid was so short, barely reaching past her tummy as his sister hugged her other side, snuggling into her body like they were leaving their mother or a dear friend. Despite the surprise, it warmed the woman's heart, and she couldn't leave them hanging.

"It was my pleasure to...teach you," she told them gently, awkwardly patting their headscarf and flat cap since she wouldn't assume they learned anything from their hurried and bizarre lessons. But, if anything, the children were a delight in the school and, as always, so very polite.

"SWAG forever, I say!"

"And so say I!" They swore stalwartly, ignoring the sadness to tap their fists against their chests. It was a final goodbye that moved even the stoniest of hearts--namely Chapa's, who nodded solemnly as the others tried not to cry. They were so strong, especially Miles, who repeated their gestures as the brother and sister emotionlessly marched away without another word - not looking back once.

And then, they were alone again as Percy and Miriam left for a life of ease and luxury--it was almost convincing enough to make them follow. But they didn't, seeing Ray parked outside and knowing they had their own oath to fulfil, starting with getting him in bed with his sweet girl and a wig.

"Can't believe Miles was right..." Bose sighed as they gathered together, feeling empty now that their little crumpets had gone on to better things, but Mika couldn't help but frown...

"About what?" (y/n) asked curiously, knowing that the first thing she wanted to do was sleep, snuggled up to her husband on their emperor-sized bed.

"The solution revealed itself!"

"What?" Mika frowned at this long-haired boy's words, refusing to believe that he thought her brother and his mystic bullshit were the answer to their problems. They ignored how she worked her butt off to get Miriam and Percy into that fancy school. Still, they laughed and congratulated Miles for his efforts--like they left by chance. It was amusing for (y/n) to watch, chuckling to herself when she practically saw steam coming out of the girl's ears.

"Hey, yeah. It did!" Chapa agreed, clueless to the furious girl by her elbow.

"The universe will provide..." Miles stated calmly and smugly, infuriating his sister even more. He lapped up all the attention his friends gave him, feeling like he was one with the spirits--although he'd meet them sooner than later if Mika got ahold of him.

"Mika provides! I filled out their applications like (y/n) told me to while everyone else wasn't paying any attention to me!" She exclaimed frustratedly, wildly gesturing to herself as she ranted about how she'd saved the day - it was funny to watch.

But her friends weren't in the mood for one of her holier-than-thou lectures, glancing at each other tiredly before simply walking away, heading for the closet so they could go to the Man's Nest and nap. They deserved a little relaxation, their heads throbbing too much to listen to Mika's incessant ramblings.

"Hello?! Hello?! I exist! (y/n/n), tell them!" She wailed, looking at the older girl pleadingly to get her support, but she just laughed kindly.

"You did good, Mika. Well done for helping us out," (y/n) praised her happily, rubbing her head like she was rewarding a puppy, but Mika lapped it up. She practically glowed at the compliment, beaming with pride, even if she tried to appear modest and humble.

"Aw, shucks..."

"So, go and rest with the others. You must be exhausted," the heroine told her, ushering the sleepy girl toward where her friends had disappeared when she yawned suddenly. Too tired to argue, Mika nodded weakly, rolling her shoulders now the adrenaline had worn off, and she turned to the door, fingers brushing the golden handle when she noticed that her friend wouldn't follow.

"What about you? Aren't you gonna go to bed?"

"Of course! My feet feel like they'll drop off if I wear these heels for a minute longer," she replied with a tired laugh, shifting from one foot to the other since she couldn't feel her toes. They'd been squashed in heels - boots or otherwise - for over twelve hours, and she was drained, hearing her bed calling out to her. She'd listen, knowing the route even with her eyes closed, but first, there was something she needed to do...

"But first, I need to go get His Grumpiness."

"Oh, come on. Ray will be fine if you nap for an hour or two!" Mika exclaimed, slowly pushing the door open, hoping it would tempt the woman into tagging along. She hated the bags under her eyes, but no matter what she said, she still edged toward the front door, where Ray still sulked on the porch in his wheelchair, determined to go to bed with him.

"I guess, but he's my husband, and I love him, even if he's all eggy now," (y/n) shrugged, gently refusing the girl's subtle offer when she jerked her head to the back room, setting her sights on the grumbling doofus throwing a tantrum amongst the potted plants.

It would be nightmarish and nearly impossible to convince him to go with her, considering how he was screeching and scratching at his hairless head, but she'd manage it. No matter if it took another hour, she'd drag him there, strip his stupid riding boots off, and tuck them under the comforter - they'd solve his smooth noggin problem later.

"Can't sleep without him..."

"Do you think he'll be bald forever?" The girl asked curiously, wondering if it was something they'd have to get used to, but she didn't look too worried. As much as she adored his brown floof, (y/n) didn't cry or frown, unlike when she first saw his kooky new look, seeming oddly relaxed and happy as she hovered in front of the door.

"Nah... Schwoz will throw some hair juice on his head or something, and I'll have my handsome doofus back in no time!" She exclaimed, practically bouncing with joy at the thought of being in her lover's embrace again, where she could hear his rational thoughts and sweet words. She needed it after a long day, shivering at the thought of finally resting with him.

In her happiness, she didn't feel the smile creeping onto her face, too wrapped up to see Mika giggling at that dreamy-eyed expression.

"You really love him, don't you?" She remarked softly, half-disappearing behind her door as (y/n) went in the opposite direction on her mission. Her cheeks grew warm, yet she quickly nodded, never denying it - her purest form was when she revelled in her deep adoration for that man, who took all other love she might have had for anyone else to give her room to grow.

"More than anything..." she replied softly, enough for Mika. The girl didn't argue any more, seeing that nothing she said would convince her otherwise. She passed into the other room, leaving the heroine with weariness and endless love as everything finally fell silent.

The classroom needed a good tidy, and she wanted to check on the kids before she slept since it had been their longest shift yet. There was a lot to do, more than she could bear to think about when her body ached, begging to restore itself, but it was nice to stand and appreciate...nothing. No problems, no children, nothing that could go wrong...

She was frozen, seeing the sunlight holding the dust in its beams before it settled on her surfaces, readying for cleaning. Maybe in a few hours, but she could hear Ray crying on the front porch, calling her name in a needy, pitchy voice as his fists thumped the chair. He had to be her priority, worrying for others before herself.

She sighed and closed her eyes, knowing the silence never lasted long, but that was okay. She fixed her jacket, rubbed her face, and studied the messy classroom, calling out that she was on her way, fighting through the exhaustion.

Off she went again, head held high as the school doors closed until the next crazy adventure.

8 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 2: Say My Name

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*I'd like to take a moment to thank the Danger Force writers for absolutely fucking the timeline I perfected in Henry Danger. I get that it's supposed to be funny, but our doofus wasn't alive in the 60s! This is just me rewriting every plot hole they stupidly made and offering some kind of explanation for them. Hopefully, it works???*

~The Man's Nest~

Well, this was awkward.

Following the utter disaster at Swellview Prison, Captain Man and Miss Danger understandably were red-faced and humiliated. That night would go down as the worst mission in history, ending with an endless Frankini fashion show and many apologies to the cops when they reported an influx of crime.

The city was appalled, and rightly so. The ones they'd employed and expected to keep them safe had freed the worst of society for their own sport, and now, they feared to go out after dusk - who knows who they'd meet in a dark, lonely alley? Every citizen wanted answers, demanding that their heroes be held accountable for their pathetic actions; after all, weren't they meant to fight crime, not free it?

So, that's why Ray and (y/n) grovelled, taking their seats at a desk in the Man's Nest, clad in full uniform and classic, apologetic pouts. The man couldn't stand it, thinking it wasn't his fault that Danger Force caused the worst jailbreak in Swellview history, but like City Hall said, (y/n) told him that they ultimately held responsibility. Their team, their rules, their fuck-up.

He didn't have to like it - they just had to convince everyone that they were sincerely sorry.

"--Wool, cotton, and nylon are all up, but polyester is down," Mary Gaperman said as she finished the last segment before KLVY cut to their exclusive interview with Captain Man and his pretty sidekick. Trent swore that no one cared, sitting beside her with a stony expression, preying for someone to end the pain of sitting through her report - he was waiting for the drama.

"And that's the Sock Market Report," she finished, looking strangely serious for such a jovial topic. Still, they quickly moved on, the tension making (y/n) squirm in her chair.

"Thank you, Mary. We now go to Captain Man and Miss Danger, live from the Man's Nest--" Trent sniffed dryly, cutting to the camera feed that showed the hero fiddling with his super-suit, only for his wife to clear her throat and nudge his arm. They tapped their earpieces, looking uncomfortable and nervous, knowing they were about to be scolded within an inch of their lives.

"--to explain exactly what happened last night at Swellview Prison."

"Thanks for having us, Trent...Mary," (y/n) smiled, feeling her doofus reaching for her hand as she smiled politely, trying not to seem anxious. They strangled their gloved fingers together, glad to feel the warmth seeping through the thick fabric, reassuring her he was there.

"Glad to be here. Thanks so much," Ray nodded, trying his signature Captain Man grin to placate their anger, but Trent didn't seem impressed. Mary, on the other hand...

"May we start by congratulating you both on your recent marriage," the woman smiled sweetly with her typical vacant expression. However, she still made the couple all blushy and shy, glancing at each other adoringly as they squeezed their joined hands and thanked her.

"Captain Man, you broke a lot of hearts when you announced that Miss Danger was your wife...do you realise that you've taken the most eligible bachelorette off the market?!"

"Mary--Mary--focus, Mary!" Her colleague interrupted, wiping the smug grin off Ray's face since Trent's furious tirade meant he couldn't talk about his favourite subject - his sweet girl.

He could go on for hours about her, recognising his privilege after wedding the girl of his dreams, making dozens of other men jealous. Anyone could see how in love he was, sighing contently and laying his spare hand over hers, holding her palm like it was the most precious thing in the world--until he ruined it.

"We should be thanking them for taking time out of their busy schedules of letting hundreds of criminals out of jail." (y/n) cringed at how Trent phrased it, knowing that the niceties were over, and now, they were being chastised. The sarcasm made her stomach flip, fingernails digging into her knee as she sensed her doofus also tensing.

"Let's keep in mind, Trent, that if inspirational movies have taught us anything, it's that the vast majority of the people in that jail were innocent," Ray argued, trying to smooth things over, but that just made things worse.

"That doesn't help, doof..." (y/n) murmured under her breath. She was the type to sit there quietly and take the scolding, grovelling for forgiveness since she knew when she was wrong. Ray, however, was a man of the people and desperately craved their approval; like in every aspect of his life, he wanted to be in everyone's good books, whether it was his wife or his loyal fans.

Even Mary found fault in his argument, quickly pointing out that this wasn't a movie, and half the villains weren't blameless.

"Are you saying that all the criminals you both mistakenly freed were innocent?" She asked, making the heroine grit her teeth and crank her head to her husband, eyes hard and questioning as if trying to deliver a message to him. Really? Why would you say that, doofus?

"Criminals like The Toddler, Doctor Minyak, Arson Boy, Frankini--" she listed as the villainous names began to scroll up the screen, making the heroes sigh and shake their heads. Of course, they didn't mean it like that, but the news crew were excellent at twisting their words.

"Well, not necessarily..." (y/n) said, thinking that they were just taking it too far when her doofus was clearly naive and innocent--doing his best at the end of the day. They made it sound like they couldn't make mistakes or defend themselves, sitting there like naughty children.

"I'm not done," Mary replied firmly, shocking the heroine because they were always tight - friends because (y/n) felt sorry for her, knowing how mean and cruel Trent could be. Yet, it appeared that even Mary Gaperman's tongue could be pretty sharp.

"Mr Nice Guy, Jeff, Lil' Mustache, Big Mustache, The Midnight Tickler, The Time Jerker, Trenchfoot--"

"Okay, look... We can talk about who escaped all day long," Ray sighed, wanting to move on since he knew about the criminals on the loose - he'd been fighting them for years, doing the cops' jobs. No one talked about that, but whatever; he just got on with it. What was the point of dwelling on the past?

"And we will!" Trent, however, was loving how the couple squirmed. Whether it was helpful or not, he continued naming names and pointing fingers, even though it wasted valuable time the heroes could spend catching the crooks. With a smirk on his oily face, he carried on Mary's list, counting every name on his fingers as the checklist went on and on and on...

"Sue Nami, The White Collar, Mr Guilty--"

"Okay, we get it! We need to catch Mr. Guilty, and we will, I promise," (y/n) scoffed, slumping back into her chair as she scrubbed her forehead on her palm, growing equally frustrated at how unfair it felt. she knew they'd done wrong, but the one-sided trial seemed unjust; it barely gave them a chance to redeem themselves.

"How? You don't have Kid Danger to help you anymore," Mary noted, unknowingly throwing salt in a sore wound. Darkness instantly clouded Ray's expression, making him grumpy and vicious, still mourning the loss of the kid who was like a brother to him--like a son. He missed him every day, and he'd barely been gone a month, even making (y/n) grow silent as they clutched at each other's hands.

"Don't you dare say his name," the man growled, hating how nonchalant the news anchors seemed, barely recognising their grief.

He saw them at the boy's fake funeral, mourning his loss, but they didn't care, brushing off his death like it was nothing, and he hated to see how it affected his beloved wife. Maybe Henry wasn't dead, but he was a million miles away...or it at least felt like that. He placed a warm, comforting hand on his sweet girl's back, soothing her heartache as she wondered if her baby was okay, if he was eating or missing home...

"We have everything under control," Ray said calmly, trying to keep a lid on his temper, mainly when his snarl made Mary recoil slightly. He didn't want to flip out on national TV, but no one, not even some ditzy journalist, upset his wife...

"We have a new team. Danger Force," Miss Danger revealed, swiftly collecting herself to replace her despair with pride because she had new babies to focus on, even if she didn't quite feel the same for them yet...

"Yes, the ones who helped you and your husband free those very guilty criminals," Trent sneered, spitting the word out like the sight of her holding her doofus' hand made him gag.

"Well, as we speak, Danger Force is combing the streets of Swellview to find those criminals," Ray revealed in a clipped tone as it grew increasingly difficult to remain civil. He didn't like the guy's manner or insinuations. Still, he controlled his temper for his sweet girl, her presence soothing his frustration.

It might have been risky to send the kids to recover some criminals alone, but what choice did they have? Captain Man and Miss Danger were busy, and besides, they said they were more than qualified, making up for their mistake. After all, it was their fault that they were in this mess...

"Why aren't you out there helping them?"

"If you must know, we have a couple's massage scheduled today..." the hero sniffed, saltier about delaying their appointment than having to do the interview. He'd been looking forward to it, knowing his wife deserved rest and relaxation...and maybe his wandering hands when the masseuse wasn't looking. What he would do to see her in nothing more than a towel, soft skin glowing from the scented oils, sighs and moans falling from her lips from the massage.

"I'm so sorry..."

"We didn't know," Trent and Mary quickly apologised, looking deeply ashamed of themselves for doubting the heroes when they already had plans. It was a little bizarre, making (y/n) quirk an eyebrow since that was what they decided to feel bad about. Still, she let it slide, tummy tingling at the thought of seeing her doofus wearing nothing but a fluffy robe.

"We forgive you," she replied sweetly as Ray grabbed his drink - a weird beverage recently hitting Swellview's supermarket shelves. It looked like regular milk, like anything from a cow. Yet, it had a shocking, tongue-sizzling twist, which only the most ridiculous of inventors could've come up with.

Spicy milk was the latest craze, tasting exactly as it sounded - strange. While it tricked the tastebuds and probably wasn't good for your health, it was strangely addictive. As Ray took a sip, (y/n) looked up at him with those big round eyes, channelling that cat from a famous movie, her tongue darting out to smack her lips together, indicating she was thirsty. He paused, mid-sip, glancing down at his wife and instantly knowing she wanted some, even though the carton was beside her.

It wasn't like she wanted her own glass--oh no, that would be too easy. She never wanted her spicy milk, just a taste of his, often resulting in her finishing half the glass. If he was a stronger, crueller man, he would've told her to pour some more, but he wasn't, offering the rim to her mouth so she could drink her fill.

It was endearing, watching as she gulped it down, swearing it tasted better coming from his glass--or it was just nicer to share. Pulling away, (y/n) licked her lips, smiling up at her lover contently as she leaned back, ignorant of the swooning fans at home as they watched the wholesome interaction, wondering where they could get a spicy milk-sharing man too.

"So, after my wife and I have our massage and a nice glass of spicy milk--"

"Ooh, I love spicy milk!" Mary exclaimed gleefully as Ray took another sip, noticing the half-empty glass after his sweet girl downed half of it. Still, anything to make her happy...

"Who doesn't? Fresh from Swellview's famous spicy cows," Trent said rhetorically, knowing that the bizarre concoction had flown off the shelves after its release, taking Swellview by storm despite its zesty flavour. It burned...at both ends...but no one could stop drinking it.

"Yeah, anyway--we'll get out there and help Danger Force round up the criminals if we even have to," (y/n) moved on, refocusing the interview as she ignored the pain on her tongue, wishing her doofus had chosen a soda instead. Stealing his drinks when he drank liquid fire was hard, but she couldn't help it - it was one of their earliest forms of affection.

"Yeah! Any minute now, I'll bet our team is gonna come walking in there and say, Captain Man, Miss Danger, we got 'em!" Ray smirked, trusting the plucky children to make him proud after sending them off with simple instructions.

Find a villain, safely incapacitate them, and bring them home. Don't die.

He didn't see what was so hard about that, but maybe that was because he'd done it for years. Enthusiasm didn't count for much without any skill, so (y/n) wasn't so sure, giggling nervously as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and proudly pecked her cheek. These were the same kids who blew a hole in the jail wall after gatecrashing their mission; she didn't have much hope.

"Captain Man, Miss Danger, we got 'em!" And for good reason, too. Just as Ray's lips left her supple skin, Miles burst through the door, his energy and excitement suggesting that he'd nabbed some great villain - Doctor Minyak, The Time Jerker, hell, maybe even Jeff.

The couple spun around, hoping to see success, but her brows furrowed when (y/n) saw the boy trotting toward them. There was no bad guy, no prisoner in sight, yet Miles' hands weren't empty. He carried a large baking tray filled with food, which strangely looked like slow-cooked chicken wings, given that he was also wearing chicken wing sunglasses. The heroine felt her stomach drop, and it wasn't because of the delicious smell...

"Ooh, right on time. Who'd you get?" Ray asked smugly, wanting the news team to get a good view of his apprentice's catch--to rub it in their faces that their heroes were competent, but instead, he was humiliated again.

"Not a who, but a what! And that was is some wiiiiiings!" Miles cheered after dumping the silver tray in front of Miss Danger, making her jump when the gloopy, sticky sauce splashed on her skirt. Wiping it off, she licked her fingertip, wrinkling her nose when another hit of spiciness assaulted her tastebuds, and her face fell in disappointment.

Not to be the negative one, but was Henry ever this...difficult?

"You're supposed to be rounding up criminals," she told the boy through gritted teeth as Chapa floated down the stairs, looking equally pleased with herself. Neither child recognised how the couple tried to keep up appearances and stay calm in front of the cameras so the anchors didn't see something was wrong, parading like everything was one big joke.

"We were!" Chapa replied happily, circling Ray with another tray of chicken wings before setting them down before him. Of all the things that made them look like idiots, this had to be the most embarrassing, both adults gulping and grimly glancing down at the food as Trent and Mary gawped. Oh, the press would have a field day...

"No criminals at the wing store!"

"Just these bad boys! Am I right?!" Miles cheered, high-fiving his friends as she munched on the fried meat and shouted, only noticing the cameras and live monitors when (y/n) cleared her throat.

"Oh, hey! Are we live?" She asked brashly, not even bothering to mind her volume since it was Captain Man's gig, and she didn't recognise the issues of being an idiot on national television, too busy riding on a superhero high. She leaned on Ray's shoulder, forcing the man to separate himself from his sweet girl since her body weight pushed him into his wife's space too much, turning the interview into a circus.

"Yes, we are..." the man replied meekly as Miles poked his head between the lovers, ignorant of how (y/n) fell forward into the greasy tray or how the chicken stained her uniform.

"What up, newsers?!" The boy shouted boorishly, throwing his greasy fingers up toward the camera as he loudly chewed on a wing, hideously uncouth and unruly for the world to see. Worse still, the news ticker at the bottom of the TV monitor said it all, proclaiming that Captain Man and his lovely wife were losing control of their interview, all thanks to their incompetent team.

"It doesn't seem like you have everything under control," Trent remarked as the couple tried to quieten the rambunctious children, pushing them away from view with no success.

"No, no, we've got everything under control. We're taking this situation very seriously," (y/n) replied with a stern finger despite her flustered expression and burning cheeks. As much as she tried to appear calm and collected, her furious glare said everything, especially when she whacked the chicken wing out of Miles' hand and slapped Chapa's knuckles when she tried to take another one - a picture of no control.

"Will you two behave?!"

"She's dancing..." Mary pointed out, making Ray turn around to see how a wingless and bored Chapa had started wiggling her hips and gyrating her arms to a silent beat. She looked ridiculous yet refused to settle down when (y/n) scolded her, continuing to roll her body even as Ray glared.

"She's not supposed to be dancing! She's supposed to be looking for criminals!" He growled, not that the girl cared. She felt invincible in her armour, especially after patrolling the streets as the city's newest hero, so who was Captain Man to tell her off?

As Chapa partied and Miles took another snack, Mika burst in, looking as frazzled and high-strung as usual. Fabulous; it was just what Ray and (y/n) needed--another child running rampant, but at least she had the decency to focus on the mission. She'd checked everywhere, but without training or knowledge, finding any criminals worth their time was impossible, so she returned humiliated and empty-handed.

"I lost them at the wing store, but I--" Mika exclaimed as she hopped down the stairs, only to freeze when she saw the holographic screen. "Are you doing an interview?!"

"Yes! Live!" Ray replied sharply, not knowing whether to look at the girl or the screen, making him look cutely panicked. Still, there was no time for (y/n) to coo over his little pout as Mika gasped and immediately dropped to the floor, feeling awful that she'd been caught in the background.

It didn't matter, not when her brother and Chapa were causing chaos, but she still ducked, sliding across the floor on her tummy like she was doing the worm.

"Now both of them are dancing," Mary frowned, thinking the girl had joined her friends, mistaking her good intentions for mischief.

"Yeah, this is, uh...this is their victory dance!" (y/n) lied, instantly regretting her words since they sounded so lame, but the kids went with it - perhaps a little too far.

"Which we'll do on our enemies' graves!" Chapa exclaimed darkly, making everyone gulp because it wasn't Captain Man and Miss Danger's usual style. They weren't so deadly typically, capturing and controlling villains without ever stooping to their level because killing was cowardly. Superheroes worked with grace and compassion, which someone really should've said to the girl.

"Oh my!..." Trent murmured as he and Mary visibly recoiled, shocked by such violence from a seemingly innocent child. That was the last straw, and Ray turned around to send them away before they said or did something else to ruin their reputations.

"Get them outta here!" He hissed to Mika, hoping that she, the smart one of Danger Force, could take her wild friends somewhere else, but she was instead...clumsy.

While Chapa and Miles danced around like idiots, she tried to grab their flailing hands, only to accidentally push her twin into a board holding a map of Swellview. He hit the tiled ground hard, sending the board clattering across the smooth stone, too, making more noise than when he and the red-wearing girl were messing around.

"You guys are causing a scene!" Miss Danger told them in an uncharacteristically rude voice, feeling more stressed than she had in years, and that was saying something. She was naturally nervous, but she'd faced bad guys and ghouls, sat for dozens of interviews, and posed for hundreds of magazines, even facing her murderous ex-boyfriend. Still, none of that made her feel like this--like she was utterly helpless with zero control.

"Oopsie!" Mika squeaked, shuffling on her hands and knees to try and mop up the mess before her teachers got even angrier, but it didn't help.

"Captain Man, Miss Danger...it seems your team is embarrassing itself once again."

"You know what, Trent? Let me explain something to you about Danger Force," Miles snarled, interrupting the interview before Ray or (y/n) could reply, ignoring their attempts to placate him. He boldly stood between the couple, glaring at the dark-haired man as he sat back in shock, slightly frightened by his mean glare.

"We don't play by your rules, old man!"

"I don't see why you had to bring my age into this..." the news anchor replied dryly as the comment rolled off his back since he had a thick skin regarding troublesome interviewees. He wasn't offended, but it didn't look good on the heroes' part that one of their protégées was hurling insults, unchecked and unchallenged.

But it didn't matter. Before Miles could respond to his quick, calm quip, he shoved another chicken wing in his mouth, a violent, eye-watering heat suddenly assaulting his tongue. His hands flew to his mouth as the tube beeped, signalling that someone was coming up, but Miles didn't care, feeling like his mouth was melting to the movement of Chapa's dancing.

"Too hot! Too hot! It's burning my mouth!"

"I got The Toddler!" Bose announced as he happily sauntered on-camera, smiling at his friend as he ran off, clutching his tongue for some reason. The kid was too ditzy to care, proud of his capture because this was the one Captain Man said was their number one priority, although nearly impossible to find single-handedly.

"What? You got The Toddler?!" Ray gasped, eyes bulging out of his head as he stared at his sweet girl, and his dumbest student walked behind him, holding his captive. Even Mary and Trent looked at each other in surprise, wondering if they'd poorly thought of the new heroes too quickly as Bose planted the short person in front of (y/n).

While she couldn't see their identity due to the mask the boy had shoved over his face, her tummy told her something wasn't right. In her experience, The Toddler wasn't one to get captured by some amateur, not without good reason, and as this criminal stood patiently before her, she noticed how small they were, barely meeting the middle of her chest. And was that...giggling she could hear? Not even one witty comment or "well, well, well..." coming from the guy...

"Wait a second..." she muttered before yanking the hood from the criminal's head, only to see that her suspicions were correct.

The poor thing, they weren't even a criminal or an adult. Her frown melted, and a grin replaced it as she saw a little boy smiling up at her, pearly baby teeth twinkling as he giggled and reached out to stroke her face, clearly having been in the wrong place at the wrong time when a dimwitted sidekick came along. He was adorable - who could ever think he was evil?

"This isn't The Toddler! It's just a toddler!" She sighed as the boy giggled, fascinated by her soft features and shiny outfit, and it was enough to make her broody side go haywire. She liked kids - God knows she was around them enough - but she could hardly congratulate Bose for taking someone's child and expect a reward.

"Do I get a treat?"

"No!" She exclaimed, petting the toddler's head as he prodded something cool on her utility belt.

Ray watched closely, escaping his immense frustration momentarily to watch as his wife smiled at the little boy, whispering comforting words and stroking his chubby cheeks while chaos reigned around her. She handled things so much better than he did, looking so perfect as the child crawled into her lap, babbling nonsense that she agreed with anyway. Did he dare to admit that his heart soared at the picture?

"I need milk!" Miles' panicked pleading broke him out of his daydream, having broken into a sweat once the spice became too much. He was dying, begging for something fatty to soothe his tastebuds, and Chapa was quick to help.

"Here's some milk!" She told him, dashing over to the interview desk to grab the red carton Ray and (y/n) had been drinking out of, urgently handing it over without reading the label since her friend needed it so badly.

"No, that's spicy milk!" The woman exclaimed worriedly as the toddler hopped off her lap, eager to explore his shiny, glowing surroundings now that the lovely lady was distracted. But it was too late for Miles; he downed the milk without thinking, although he instantly regretted it when the liquid scalded his inner cheeks and tongue, coating his tunic and tender flesh with flowing fire.

He screamed in pain, looking like something out of a horror film as the milk soaked his face and uniform, seeping into his eyes from how he tilted the carton too far. He ran off, screaming for Chapa and her devil drink to stay away and accidentally crashing into the map again as Ray sighed.

His sweet girl rested her forehead on his shoulder as Bose and Chapa began dancing, Mika running after her brother with a damp cloth to try and wipe the spice from his eyes. The toddler stared at the elder children with wide, wonder-filled eyes, glad he'd been taken from his dull stroller for this adventure, not that Captain Man would agree.

Turning back to Mary and Trent, he offered a tired smile, looking every bit the overworked, underpaid, outnumbered father he was, patting his wife on the head as she closed her eyes. The interview was a disaster; she didn't care who saw her.

"It's under control," the man nodded, smiling through the pain as the reporters sat back, thoroughly convinced the Captain was out of his depth. And you know what? Ray thought they were right.

~Later that day~

Once they'd wrapped up the disastrous interview, Danger Force didn't see Captain Man and Miss Danger until after lunch. Undoubtedly, the man stomped off with his sweet girl traipsing behind, needing to cool off before he saw their faces again.

He was furious, having had enough of Trent's smartass comments and Mary's unintentionally offensive question, and had marched off to their bedroom before someone or something blew up his temper. (y/n) calmed him down, snuggling her doofus on their bed while he grumbled about being a laughingstock, but that didn't mean he still wasn't mad.

And the kids felt terrible, offering the boss their apologies when they finally emerged past noon, looking a little bedraggled and breathless, but that went over their heads. Ray graciously accepted their apologies, guiding his diligent pupils into SWAG without considering the embarrassment they'd caused him, putting his fury behind him.

Until it came to the lesson of the day.

Perhaps it was a little Victorian, but he put them to work as punishment - an hour of sparring for all the memes now circulating Twitflash about Captain Moron. It was hard, sweat work, yet the hero merely sat and watched, nibbling on a bowl of miscellaneous snacks with his sweet girl on his lap as the children whacked at punching pillows.

(y/n) took precautions, knowing she couldn't argue, and it wasn't like they didn't need the fighting practice, but she gave them protective gear - thick boxing gloves and hard plastic helmets. She didn't want them hurt, even if Ray couldn't care less.

"Keep it goin'..." the man said flatly as he ate another chip, cradling his pretty wife as she nestled into his muscular embrace. He didn't give a fuck, his bored gaze passing over the exhausted children as their energetic attacks became weak punches, barely slapping and kicking their opponents, but he wanted more, feeling joy only when (y/n) pecked his jaw.

"Put your back into it..."

"We've been doing this for too long!" Miles groaned and yanked off his helmet. He was finally fed up with his teacher's unenthusiastic directives as they worked themselves to death. It must've been nice to sit on a chair made from a gym ball, barking orders as his wife fed him cheese puffs.

"Yeah, how much longer do we have to practice fighting?" Chapa asked as her friends took a much-needed break, staring at the unimpressed couple as (y/n) glanced away from her phone and threw another chip into her mouth. She wondered when they'd get grouchy but made no move to leave her lover's lap, practically melting as his bulky arms clenched and flexed around her body.

"As long as I say!" And, God...if his grumpy voice didn't do things to her.

"I feel like you're mad..." Bose suggested gently, making the woman's lips twitch at his innocence, even if it infuriated her husband even more.

"Mad is an understatement," she giggled, frustration simmering in her stomach, but she hid it better than Ray. While she wasn't so mean, she did believe the kids needed a lesson, knowing they wouldn't last a week with regular missions. She shifted in his lap to face them, hearing the grump behind her grunt as her ass ground down until her back rested against his chest. If he was fury, she was fairness, keeping him in check.

"You guys embarrassed me and my sweet girl on the news!" Ray grumbled, stuffing his face with food to numb the pain. He didn't want to be in public for weeks until the heat died, preferring to cower between the sheets with his wife. She didn't laugh so harshly like everyone else, too sweet and soft to be mean...

"Why do we even have to practice fighting? We've got superpowers," Chapa asked, showing her open, spark-free palm, but this time, even (y/n) frowned, folding her arms as she gave the girl a curious look. She thought the answer was obvious...

"Yeah, and you're super-trash at using them," her doofus retorted before she could express her disagreement, making her snort at his speedy wit, which wasn't typical of him - the man who thought it was pronounced supposably. She tried to hide it, clamping a hand over her mouth to smother her giggles, but that didn't stop the kids gasping and frowning at his burn.

It stung more than they cared to admit, but it showed on their faces, and they didn't appreciate how (y/n/n) laughed, rubbing salt in the wound as her cocky husband shrugged.

"If you were trying to offend us--congratulations, ma'am and sir..." Bose sniffled, and he was the one (y/n) genuinely felt bad for. The kid walked around in a daydream, aiming to please and following his friends like a well-meaning sheep. But as much as (y/n) wanted to be sincere and comforting - like it was in her nature - Ray merely shook his head and tucked his nose into his wife's neck, inhaling her fragrant scent to calm himself down.

"You know what, Danger Force? Let's show these guys what we can do!" Mika said, turning to her friends with her typical defiant attitude, pursing her lips as the couple looked up with tired yet interested eyes. Oh, they couldn't wait to see this...

"This should be good..." (y/n) sighed, wiggling in her seat as she sat straighter, unphased and unafraid in the face of their combined strength. Her movements made Ray grunt, his hand squeezing her hipbone as the other tightened around his snack bowl - he was more concerned about spilling the chips and remaining pubically decent than their attack.

However, their lack of fear didn't phase the team, who took their places in a line, much like they'd done at Swellview Prison. They prepared themselves, Bose's fingers raised to his temples, Mika's held up to her face. At the same time, Miles mentally readied himself to teleport, and Chapa's rage sparked her electricity. And still, Ray didn't budge - neither himself nor his precious wife.

"Oh, here it comes..." he sighed, gaze barely bothering to flicker over them as they went for the attack--if it could be called that.

Honestly, (y/n) expected it to be bad, but this was dire. Worse than she imagined, making her confidence in the team plummet. Mika's scream wasn't super-sonic, not even a tenth of the ferocity when she blew the jail wall down, more like a gentle breeze that tickled her face and made Ray's hair flutter.

"There it is, everybody. Strap in."

Chapa's electricity was more tickle than shock, illuminating her fingers but travelling no further. She could growl, shout, and curse all she wanted; her fury wasn't strong enough, barely generating enough power to make her hands glow, so Ray didn't need to worry about protecting his sweet girl. Her tummy wasn't even tingling, signalling no threat here.

"This is embarrassing..." she muttered, watching with an almost disgusted stare as Bose tried to lift the chair from under her and Ray.

With his fingers on his temple, he wanted to make it move, using the techniques she'd shown him to raise pencils and peanuts - light objects since it was clever to start small. However, moving the big, bulky chair burdened with a big, bulky man and his wife wasn't easy, making his muscles strain. His head hurt like a migraine was throwing a salsa party in his skull, and the chair didn't even move - a waste of energy.

"Miles, are you in a Journey concert?" Ray asked as he fed (y/n) a chip, laughing as the kid fisted the air, almost like he was jamming out at a rock concert. He wanted to move, but unlike when he couldn't stop his random teleportations, this time, he couldn't budge, not even an inch.

"Bose, do you have to use the potty? Because it looks like you need to make a boom-boom," he added dryly, moving his criticisms onto the boy next to him, highly amused by how he squeezed and strained to make something--anything move.

The whole situation shouldn't have been so funny, the hilarity mixing with despair for the couple because this was their team. Even when Henry was powerless, he could still fight, but this? This was like sending babies into battle - soft, squishy beings who thought they were invincible.

But something did come of their efforts. As they all tried to attack the couple, the pot of pencils sitting on the lectern toppled over, spilling across the floor and making them cheer in victory since someone hit it - and they had to take wins where they could find them.

"Oh, no. Help. Death by pencils..." (y/n) retorted sarcastically, staring as the yellow graphite rolled across the floor. She couldn't even be bothered to feel impressed that they'd managed to hit something, knowing they'd have to be tidied up.

"I'll keep you safe, darlin'..." Ray joked, curling around her body and smooching her neck, grossing the kids out with the loud, smacking noise of his lips and tongue meeting her skin. They gagged when she squirmed and laughed, but as much as she claimed to hate it, she still moved closer, too engrossed in the addictive affection to focus on who knocked the pencils over.

"I moved those with my mind!" Bose exclaimed gleefully, ignoring how his stomach lurched at the couple's love to celebrate how he'd managed to use his power. Those practice sessions had helped, but everyone else begged to differ...

"No, I zapped them over!" Chapa argued, even though no one had seen any bolts leaving her hands.

"I knocked them over with my scream!" Mika shouted with a bright smile, still ecstatic that she had a superpower, having had few opportunities to test it out, and none of them were successful. She hadn't found the proper technique to activate it yet, but maybe, just maybe, she'd managed a mini-scream while aiming at Ray's smug face.

"Actually, I teleported over, knocked them down, and teleported back. Points for Miles!" The boy on her right boasted, looking particularly proud, no matter how implausible it was for him to make it to the lectern and back unnoticed.

His impossible feat caused an argument, making his friends yell about how full of it he was and how they'd obviously pulled it off instead. They were so loud that they were giving (y/n) a headache, her hands reaching over her ears, and she couldn't take anymore, not when they were arguing over nothing.

"Hey, hey, hey! Shut up!" She yelled over them, sounding like an enraged mother as she nearly rose from Ray's lap, only for his arm to stay anchored around her waist. He couldn't bear to lose the weight of her, not for something as dumb as a childish argument, and even if it was just for a few more seconds, he wanted to hold her close.

"Guys...you were trying to hit us! Who cares if you hit the pencils? They weren't the target, but if you can't even get your powers to work, let alone aim... we're screwed."

"(y/n/n)..." Mika murmured, hating to see her disappointed. As much as Ray was the boss, (y/n) was the sun, cheery, bright and beautiful; her warmth helped them grow and feel safe, and most importantly, the world of the Man's Nest revolved around her. Everyone, especially Ray, strived to impress her and keep the sun smiling, and seeing her so dejected was like the room grew cold and loveless.

"Hey! You know what, guys?" Ray butted in, pulling his wife closer like he was shielding her from all the negativity. He appeared happy, smiling and bouncy like his puppy, but it fell.

"If we ever get into a fight with an army of angry pencils...we'll probably have to do everything ourselves..." the hero sighed and placed the chip bowl on the floor, looking utterly disappointed and defeated - a rare sight for the unbeatable Captain Man.

(y/n) tried to cheer him up, kissing his forehead and cheeks when he sat up, but the awkward moment didn't last long. An alarm rang in the classroom, dusting the walls in red light, warning the children and teachers that hero work was over and this was meant to be a school.

"Stranger approaching... School mode activated," an automated voice spoke, and the argument vanished.

There was no time for petty disagreements, and the kids dashed into action, instantly running to throw all the equipment into Schwoz's tube system, cleverly hidden in what looked like a regular cupboard. Anything with Captain Man's logo turned into dust in the tube, the genius' nanotechnology keeping everything neat, tidy, and swift.

"Let's go--let's go--let's go!" Ray whispered urgently, clapping his hands as (y/n) slid off his lap and hurried to help them, making room for the classroom furniture - normal stuff like desks and paper.

They threw the boxing gloves, pads, and mats into the cupboard, glad it could all be shoved in without finesse. Once everything was tucked away, everyone stood flush to the walls, allowing the tables and chairs to return to the floor, giving the room a kooky yet believable classroom feel.

Ray and (y/n) even had their own routine, looking more like junk store owners than teachers, and they didn't go in for that anymore. The heroes raised their arms as two sleek suit jackets fell from the ceiling, one tailored for his broad shoulders and the other cut in a more feminine style.

They slipped down their bodies in a rehearsed yet efficient manner, fitting the couple perfectly as they wiggled to get them on properly. (y/n) was particularly fond of them, remembering how she stitched the school's crest on the pocket while dreaming about how the blue blazer would match his eyes--too handsome for her heart to take.

The board faded from hero stuff to schoolwork, depicting a paragraph on World War One, a diagram on the physics of a ping-pong ball, and a drawing of a triangular prism. Ray grabbed a ruler, and (y/n) slipped on a pair of glasses; they were set, looking studious and wise like real professors - just in the nick of time, too.

"Okay, everyone, act normal...or as normal as you can get," the heroine told everyone as she and her doofus approached the front door, taking deep breaths since they weren't too confident in doing teacher-y things.

Whether they should hold hands was something they ignored, needing the contact to remain calm and attentive. At the same time, the kids draped themselves over their desks, channelling the well-known boredom from a math lesson or history lecture, not that Ray could teach either.

"Hey, hi, hello, yes, hello, hi--can we help you?" Ray rambled once he'd gained the courage to briskly open the door, only encouraged by his sweet girl squeezing his hand.

Instantly, he didn't like the guy staring back, noticing he was taller, lanky, and not bad-looking, rather handsome by most women's standards - not that he had anything to worry about in (y/n)'s books. Admittedly, he didn't look like much to her, wearing a delivery company's uniform as he smiled politely, even tipping his head at her like a suave gentleman. Still, she didn't like how he stepped over the threshold and into the room.

"You're interrupting the school day--lesson--learning. The children are learning..." she stammered, losing her cool when the strange man smiled at her, seemingly staring into her soul like he knew something...more.

The kids agreed, grinning politely at the stranger like normal pupils, not four unruly brats embroiled in a dispute with their overprotective mentors. It was funny to see them all staring back; like curious meerkats, it was apparent that they rarely got visitors, not that the audience spooked the delivery guy, who studied the classroom and its occupants carefully.

"What are you learning?" The man asked, outwardly harmless, but something seemed off about him. Ray definitely didn't like how tall he was, towering over him by another three inches at least, and that was saying a lot, given his six-foot frame. Maybe it was the paranoid supe in him, but he suspected everyone of something - perhaps he was a villain in disguise.

"Biology."

"Nohe of your business."

"Books..." the children's varied replies came, puzzling the man even further, prompting more questions in his frown, not that the adults gave him another chance to speak.

"Who are you?" (y/n) asked curtly, folding her arms as the dude peered down at her pleasantly, leading to Ray draping his arm over her shoulders, coating his sweet girl in his scent and toned muscle. He'd punch a guy if he needed to. Yet, he wasn't interested in flirting, moving past the woman with a dismissive grin, more interested in the classroom.

"Just a guy..."

"Well, what are you doing here?" The hero pressed, mildly irritated, when he saw that the guy was literally called Guy. Everything about him screamed ordinary, but there was still that weird vibe, especially when he looked straight past Ray and at the room again. That stung for a guy so used to commanding attention wherever he went.

"Just strollin'. Saw this school. Thought I'd stroll in and ask some questions."

"Oh, slow your stroll...guy," (y/n) quickly stopped him when the stranger tried to push his way into the school, acting a little too nosy and suspicious for her liking. And Ray didn't like when she had to put a gentle hand on the guy's stomach to keep him in the doorway, growling lowly in his throat when he recalled how those fingertips had trailed down his abs earlier that morning...and lower.

He really didn't like this guy but didn't get his chance to throw him out on his ear. When (y/n) pushed Guy away, the toddler ran into the room, still roaming SWAG and the Man's Nest because Bose hadn't returned him to his family, so he was just running around, loving life...with a pair of giant scissors.

"Is that your kid?" Guy asked the couple, spotting their matching golden rings and assuming they'd procreated the little hell-spawn flying between the desks, dual weapon in hand.

"Scissors!" The little boy cried happily as Ray and (y/n) sighed, hearts fluttering at the thought of the pitter-patter of tiny feet sounding in their halls. Still, it was drowned out by the worry of the toddler falling and cutting his face off. Did his parents never tell him not to run with scissors? And giant ones, at that?

(y/n) gasped as he twirled the scissors behind him, threatening to chop Danger Force's legs off, and she swiftly jumped into action. It was funny to see her running after the little boy, cooing for him to stop and wait for her, but the chase was like a game to the kid - he just giggled and kept going.

"Get outta here!" Ray exclaimed angrily, shoving Guy out of the door so he could go and help his sweet girl with that scissor-wielding nightmare. Luckily, the delivery man didn't fight much. He slipped onto the porch before Ray slammed the door in his face, stalking toward the front of the classroom as his wife struggled to catch him.

"What is that toddler still doing here?" he asked sharply--mainly looking at Bose since he brought him home. It wasn't like he hated the idea of people assuming they were parents, but he knew his kids would be much cuter - they would be part-(y/n), after all.

"Bose, we told you to take him back to where you found him," she said exasperatedly, catching her breath when she failed to grab the boy. He was too fast, zipping under desks and out the door before she could scold him for being so dangerous.

"And I told you I can't remember where I found him," Bose replied curtly, stressing that in his infinite wisdom, he'd made a slight mistake. It was a mistake that had Ray practically pulling his hair out and (y/n) rubbing her red eyes for the millionth time, knowing they would get so much shit for this.

Of all the things he could've done, kidnapping someone's baby had to be the worst thing--it's what sent people to prison, heroes or no heroes.

"We have bigger problems than the fact that Bose kidnapped a child and gave him giant scissors..." Mika said, plunging the couple into deeper worry because that sounded like rock bottom.

"What could be bigger than a felony? Y'know, judges don't like people who steal babies!" (y/n) groaned, already planning a move to Cuba with her doofus in case the cops came banging on their door. But the girl didn't seem too bothered, flicking through the built-in PearPad on her desk and seeing some troubling news.

"(y/n/n), I just got a GuGu alert."

"Hang on, I'll alert the free press," the woman replied sarcastically, wondering what her social media had to do with their misery, but Mika quickly showed them. She flicked her screen onto the board, mirroring the post that had her pretty face looking so worried, and it wasn't good.

"The video of Ray and (y/n)'s interview earlier went viral. They gave us stupid names!" She exclaimed as the couple studied the video clip of Trent and Mary, pondering what she meant. Well, they did act like idiots in front of thousands of people; the internet could be cruel...

"What?!" Chapa gasped, but Mika didn't elaborate. Instead, she hit play.

"Breaking news! A disastrous interview on KLVY, and this time, it wasn't Mary's fault."

"That's right, Trent. Mary did good!" The video started with the usual grump and his beaming colleague, who was very pleased with herself for not screwing up for once. Rather, the heat was on someone else, and she was happy to let them have it if it meant the mean trolls left her alone.

"But you know who did bad? These kids, who ruined an otherwise perfect interview."

"Once known as Danger Force, these kids are now being called Oopsie Girl, The Wing Wimp, Spicy Milk, and Gorgeous Hair Boy," Trent reported, (y/n) watching as the kids' faces fell into deep, uncomfortable frowns, groaning as their embarrassing photos were shown.

It was unfortunate, knowing that they'd done this to themselves. The heroine gave them an empathetic smile, remembering when she was known as Captain Man's friend, Female Kid Danger, or just That Woman for the first few weeks of her career. The names were cruel and offensive, but the last one - Bose's nickname - made her uneasy, wondering who was looking close enough to notice the kid's lush, silken locks.

"Ugh, when will people stop talking about my gorgeous hair?" He grumbled as if it was a bad thing, but judging by the light blush on his cheeks, (y/n) guessed that he didn't like people treating him like some himbo object. Of course, he was a person, not just cute dimples and long hair.

"It's, like...my eyes are down here, people!"

"I do not want my superhero name to be Spicy Milk!" Chapa snapped, abruptly pushing her chair back and stomping toward her teachers, wanting them to do something about the cruel taunts since they had status, power, and respect. It was all right for them; they had cool names.

"I object to The Wing Wimp in the strongest possible terms!" Miles agreed, gathering near Ray and (y/n) too, thinking it wasn't his fault that he ate too many chicken wings and burned his tongue out. It was an accident, but most memes are...

"Well, have you thought about what you want your names to be?" (y/n) asked as Ray curled an arm around her hips, slipping his hand into her back pocket so it sat snuggly on her ass. She tried not to let it phase her, brushing over the move as he stood there, smiling happily as his fingers tapped her squishy flesh.

"Yes!" Mika declared excitedly, having literally thought about nothing else.

Obviously, they knew who they wanted to be - it was all they could think about. Finally, reaching a stage where they were fit to go out and fight crime with fully-fledged superpowers and heroic names was the dream. They'd stayed up until midnight once, pitching wicked ideas until they were deemed good enough for Ray's standards. He wouldn't work with losers...

"I want to be ShoutOut 'cause once I shout--you're out!" The girl explained with a smirk, making the couple glance at each other, humming appreciatively. That one wasn't bad...

"And I'm AWOL because just like that...I'm gone!" Miles said dramatically, mimicking how his superpower made him disappear in the blink of an eye. Much like his sister's, his name was interesting, although the couple didn't show emotion...yet.

"I'm Volt because..." Chapa growled, opening her hands so her electricity could do the talking, even though the name was self-explanatory. However, nothing happened when she commanded her fingers to spark, leaving an awkward pause when she realised she looked stupid, standing there with crooked fingers and no zapping.

"Okay, hold on..."

"Right..." Ray sighed, not needing any more since he got the picture, but the girl insisted. So, he and (y/n) waited, turning to Bose. Meanwhile, she cursed herself for failing in her big moment, forced to let them picture the electricity whilst the man patted his wife's butt affectionately. He loved her cute little heinie...

"And I'm Gorgeous Hair Boy!--" The confused kid announced, making the teachers frown because he seemed so sure of himself--until he thought about it momentarily, his face twisting into an innocently merry grin.

"Wait, no! I'm BrainStorm because I'm smart...Wait, no!" He said, a little confused, but he had spirit. Nevertheless, his name was also pretty innovative, reflecting his power and abilities rather than his intelligence, which didn't matter in the heat of battle.

"So...what do you think?" Mika slowly asked the couple, seeking their approval since they had the knowledge, experience, and, most importantly, the last say.

"We think..." (y/n) replied, equally slowly as she turned to her doofus, instantly lost in his crystal blue eyes so they didn't verbally communicate, but they didn't need to. Such soulmates knew what the other was thinking, knowing the other approved, so they just eye-flirted, giving each other goo-goo stares while the kids waited in suspense.

"Those names are pretty swet!" Ray grinned, praising the kids as they jumped in victories, agreeing they'd created unique and personalised aliases exceptionally well.

They chatted briefly, basking in the happiness of finding the names they'd use for the rest of their superhero lives. However, in the excitement, they didn't notice someone creeping into the room - surprisingly silent for someone so tall but certainly unwelcome...

"Well, then, you're in trouble." A deep voice rumbled behind them, spooking the group as they jumped to see Guy, the weird delivery man, standing near the back room door. He must've snuck in that way or climbed through the window and had been eavesdropping without them noticing for a while, an impressive feat when dealing with hardened heroes.

"Because if the news says your superhero name three times, that's your superhero name for-ever!"

"How the hell did you get in here, Guy?!" (y/n) exclaimed, still wrapped up in her doofus after he pulled his hand from her back pocket like it was burnt, swiftly shielding her with his body as he scanned the random dude for threats. He couldn't work him out, so he just stuck to glaring, hating how he spoke the truth.

Weird; for just some guy, he sure as hell knew a lot about hero life, offering wisdom like he'd had firsthand experience.

"Yeah, our security system's incredible!" Ray exclaimed, petting his wife's pretty head to try and calm her down, despising how this schmuck made her jump. He'd knock him out for messing with her nerves, but he'd kill him for smirking about it, almost challenging him with those amused brown as he stared down at Captain Man, who, for once in his life, felt small.

"I know..." the guy smiled, looking like a boy on Christmas as he buzzed on the spot, weirdly excited about something... "I built it!"

"What?" They all frowned, but he didn't give them any longer to question it.

To their horror, the man bent in half and grabbed the skin of his neck, yanking it grotesquely until it began to peel away, almost melting his face as another one was revealed. His entire head came off, and his body shrank, leaving a much smaller, less handsome guy in his place, one they knew all too well.

"WHAAAAAT?" Ray's jaw hit the floor, his eyes widening, and his arms falling limply around his sweet girl as everyone stared at Schwoz. Genius Schwoz. Inventor Schwoz. The Man's Nest's resident weirdo Schwoz. Schwoz, whose disguise was so brilliant that no one even knew it was him, and all it was was just a bit of latex and a couple of stilts.

They couldn't believe it, choking on their saliva as he giggled, thoroughly satisfied that he'd managed to trick them and even made Ray jealous. Honestly, he hated any guy whom his sweet girl looked at, except for little old Schwozie, the least threatening but cleverest guy around.

"Schwoz?!"

"Yes, it's me, Schwoz!" The small man smiled at Chapa and the other kids, taking the old name tag off his shirt to show his real name underneath.

"I was just pretending to be Guy to make sure you all followed the security protocol," he explained as Ray grinned, forgetting all of his suspicions and hate to praise his handyman. He'd tricked everyone through and through, and whilst (y/n) was still reeling from the shock of watching a man rip his face off, her husband loved it.

"Well, were you also just pretending that if the news says our dumb names three times, they become our real superhero names?" Miles asked worriedly, hoping that part was another hilarious prank. The Wing Wimp sounded like such a loser...

"Ohhhh, no!" However, the genius just laughed, killing all hope in the boy, whose smile quickly dropped.

"No, I don't joke about names. Only faces."

"Schwoz is right. Back before I was known as Captain Man, I was almost known as Angry Punch Guy," Ray revealed, making (y/n) giggle.

She vaguely recalled that time, but it was difficult to remember when Swellview was without its famous hero, and she didn't really pay attention to his exploits until he stole the headlines every day. And even then, she didn't care about such a womanising bighead until they met on that fateful day... Would she have fallen for him if he had called something so...stupid?

"Why would you call yourself that?" Mika asked, thinking it was strange, much worse than Captain Man, but maybe that was because she'd grown up with the name everyone knew and loved.

"He didn't. Trent Overrunder did, though, twice. And he almost said it a third time..." (y/n) explained, rolling her eyes as she remembered the incident, one of the first times that little spandex bastard caught her attention. He wasn't as impressive in those days, hardly the man she fell in love with.

"Well, what stopped him?"

"This doofus intervened..." she told Miles, who sensed something more to what she was saying, given how she fought a teasing smile, one that hinted at something more than a silly name.

"He got a liiiiittle visit from Angry Punch Guy," Ray added with a smirk, turning to the whiteboard as he flicked through some folders - Schwoz Fails, Hot Toks, Honeymoon <3, Angry Punch Guy - and clicked a video onto it with his remote control. Instantly, the kids knew it was from the archives, shocked by the grainy quality and the fashion--God, the fashion.

Was this the modern day or the sixties? Ray wasn't even that old, deeply confusing the kids as an ancient-looking Trent appeared on the screen, a thick thatch of hair on his head and an old-fashioned moustache tickling his upper lip. His hideous maroon suit matched the outdated decor, making (y/n) sigh. She forgot about how things were that year...

"Dozens of protestors flooded the streets, but their free speech was thwarted by pro-war activist and Swellview's newest superhero, Angry Punch--" the man reported, only to be interrupted by a quick, brutal fist slogging his cheek.

Wearing a garish bejewelled purple and green outfit, Mary looked up to see this new hero, who wasn't exactly the man the kids knew. It looked like Ray, but if he fell into a pit of flower-power, boogies, and peace signs, his old-style Captain Man uniform open in a V-neck, flared in the trousers, and sporting long yellow tassels on the sleeves.

He looked ridiculous, and no one, except the adults, knew why he looked so old for a twenty-something-year-old guy.

"That's not my name, dig?" Even his voice was different, slightly squeakier, and it held a smoother note like some hippie pothead - it screamed of the sixties.

(y/n) rolled her eyes as she watched her future husband saunter up to Mary, both looking stupid as he hitched his leg onto the table and stared down at her from under his spherical afro. She didn't know what he was thinking, glad that the sixties fever only lasted a few months in the early noughties when the throwback was in vogue.

"Now, let's disco, baby!" Yeah, there was no way her fourteen-year-old self initially had a crush on Captain Man, not when he danced like a grandpa on the news with Mary Gaperman. They danced to a retro song, crooning his chosen name, shimmying to the beat in their bell-bottom clothes, bringing back so many memories for Ray.

His early twenties were unique, but Captain Man didn't have it easy originally.

The kids and his wife stared as the hero launched into a groovy dance, swinging his hips and arms around as he recalled the summer of the swingin' sixties, even though he had to rework his image once autumn came. They didn't know what was worse - the hideous clip or how his body was moving...

"How old are you?" Miles asked, utterly disturbed by what he'd just seen. He couldn't believe (y/n) married someone so...weird, swearing that while he had the face of a guy in his late forties, he had to be, like...sixty, right?

"Next person who asks me how old I am is going to get a little visit from Angry Punch Guy! Who is thirty-s--thirty. Thirty!" Ray quickly replied, ceasing his dance to sternly threaten the kids, who knew how touchy he was about the O-word despite only knowing him for a few weeks.

No one believed him, not missing how he stumbled over his numbers, and how could he lie when his sweet girl was next to him? She didn't care how old he was, thinking he was the kindest, cutest, hottest, doofiest man she'd ever met, and if he was thirty, she was twenty-four again. Yeah, right...

"Thirty-nine, doofus. You're thirty-nine, and I'm thirty-three," she smiled softly, giving him a tight side hug as he sighed, not liking how it sounded out loud. He was so old, yet she still seemed young...not that (y/n) saw it that way, turning to the kids with a besotted smile as she clung to her beloved doofus.

"As weird as it seems, that was two-thousand-and-one when Ray was twenty. Everyone in Swellview went through a phase of loving the sixties--it was a whole thing. But it got old veeeeery quickly, thank God..." She smiled, glad they could laugh as Ray blushed, embarrassed that he thought his afro-hair was a good look.

"I might not have accepted your job offer if Angry Punch Guy turned up at the cafè looking like that."

"You didn't think I was handsome back then?" The man asked, quirking an eyebrow at his wife as she giggled, recognising his slight panic. The thought of very easily losing the precious moment when he met her freaked Ray out, wondering what his life would've been like if his scrawny, tacky old self presented himself to the pretty college student.

"Nah...I prefer you now. You've hit the gym since then and lost the flares..." (y/n) winked, reaching up on her tip-toes to join their lips as she fondled his bicep, ignoring the groans from Miles and Chapa. While Mika thought it was sweet and Bose was...Bose, they hated the PDA, glancing away when their teachers flirted.

Jeez, when Schwoz said they were in love, they didn't think it was this gross. They made their parents look like they hated each other...

"So..." Mika said, a twinkle in her eye as the husband pecked his wife's forehead, calmer with her than he was with anyone else. She didn't know how Miss Danger did it, but she tamed his heart and soothed his temper, making serenity out of chaos in a man her mother said was bad news for the female kind.

"How did you get people to start calling you Captain Man?"

"He just got the most popular person in Swellview to say my name on the radio..." (y/n) replied, her ear against Ray's chest, listening to his heartbeat, as she smiled at the girl like it was the most obvious thing in the world. They didn't have smartphones when she was young; the radio was the it-thing.

"The radio? How old are you---" the girl laughed, snorting at the notion of something so old-fashioned. But she quickly realised her mistake when Miles tapped her arm, the vowel sliding as she tried to cover the insult before the couple's mildly insulted faces.

"--Unicorns when they get their horns? Oh, I just remembered--it's seven!"

"Cute, but, uh...we didn't have social media when I was a kid. None of those Clip-Clop video things or Insta-Tweet...things," the heroine replied, really showing her age as she tried to think of the hip stuff the modern youth engaged in. She liked the radio, although streaming apps were helpful for all her rad tunes...

"Who did you get to say your name on the radio?" Chapa asked firmly, redirecting the conversation away from Ray's sore point...and (y/n)'s weird slang choices.

"A DJ named Cayote Jake," the hero replied with a smirk, thinking that man was the coolest guy ever. His sweet girl couldn't agree, thinking he was an ass. Still, he'd helped her husband earn his rightful name, so she allowed him to play the old video, flicking through another handful of digital folders. What was The Bro Song? And Honeymoon *Spicy*? What was in there?

"Ah--oooooo!" The animalistic cry brought back old memories, making the couple smile nostalgically as the audio file played. It was only a minute or so long, but (y/n) knew Jake's style like an old frenemy, his brash voice assaulting her ears as Ray grinned. He still thought he was cool...

"Yeah, baby! It's Cayote Jake comin' at ya! In the studio with me right now is the hero who's fixin' the high-five Nixon--Captain Mannnnnnnn!"

"That's right. I hate commies, but I love mommies..." Ray's lips moved to his old catchphrase, making (y/n) sniff and clear her throat.

They howled together, sounding ridiculous, so she had to tell herself that her doofus was an idiot back in the day - running rampant for every mother in the tri-state area, but that was before he met her. He wasn't her doofus then.

"Oh my God!" Mika exclaimed, an incredulous yet awed expression on her face, which inflated her boss' head.

"Yeah...that happened!"

"No, it's Ellis!" She shook her head, pointing at the little boy Bose had brought home, whose name they'd finally discovered.

He'd returned from hiding after avoiding (y/n)'s clutches. While they were distracted with Ray's bizarre past, he'd clambered onto Chapa's chair, giant scissors still tucked under his arm as he fiddled with all the shiny switches. God, he was an accident waiting to happen, much more critical than Ray and his ego.

Before anyone could do anything, the child pressed the glowing button on the armrest, activating the spring that sent him into the tubes in the ceiling. It was bad enough when he roamed the school, but the Man's Nest was filled with dangerous weapons and technology - not a playground for a preschooler.

"Oh, God--how are we supposed to give him back if he's cut to ribbons?!" (y/n) panicked, clenching her lover's arm as he gulped. Danger Force turned to them, looking for instruction as they cringed, imagining the mess they'd be in if Ellis tripped with the blades facing him.

"We should probably go get him..." Ray suggested sheepishly, and for once, no one disagreed with the hero, running to their stations without argument. As he and his beloved wife stripped themselves of their blazers and ran into the back room, the kids dashed to their chairs, Miles and Bose awkwardly sharing a seat since Volt stole the yellow one.

Upstairs, the kids arrived first to see the little boy running in circles around the open floor. The gleaming point of the scissors glared at them from across the room, threatening to jab anyone who came too close. Ellis did nothing but tempt fate as his butter-soft leather shoes slid and slipped over the polished tiles, laughing innocently at his little game.

"Ellis, you shouldn't run with giant scissors!" Bose cried as he chased after him, even though the boy was surprisingly speedy for someone with such short legs. And, of course, Bose wasn't the best guardian for the lad, reaching into his pocket to bring out a smaller yet deadly pair.

"Run with these normal-sized ones!" As if that helped. The tube alarm rang, signalling that Ray, (y/n), and Schowz were blasting into the room in a short burst of air. They didn't look too happy as they trotted down the few steps, watching the long-haired boy chase after Ellis, causing more chaos than he solved.

"We gotta get that kid back to his parents..." Ray grunted, knowing he was a more considerable liability the longer he stayed in his home.

"Aw..." (y/n) pouted, not because she disagreed; the boy had to go home, but because she enjoyed his childlike energy, thinking it brightened the Man's Nest in a way that couldn't be achieved in any other manner. Still, she wasn't delusional, knowing the time for babies would come one day when things weren't so crazy, and they'd undoubtedly be half-sweet-girl and half-doofus, not stolen.

"After I stop Trent and Mary from ever saying those names again," Chapa growled, taking out her case of gum to transform into Volt - decidedly not Spicy Milk. She didn't care if Ray and (y/n) had such a minor problem; their superhero careers were at stake.

"You'd better hurry. The two-thirty-eight news starts in twelve minutes," Mika advised her, knowing the peculiar and oddly specific news timetable like the back of her hand. No one asked why, but she had all the weird facts, making her brother gasp at the late hour.

"It's two-twenty-six already?!" He exclaimed as he and Ray checked their watches, but nothing stopped Chapa. Without another interruption, she snapped into her scarlet uniform, feeling good but looking better.

"All right, I'm out!"

"I'll drop you off--with my superpower!" Miles offered, looking at the adults with a sour smile like he wanted to prove a point. It wasn't a good idea since his teleportation was patchy at best. Still, he didn't care, wanting to rub successful transportation in their doubting faces.

"I'll believe when I--woah!" (y/n) giggled, thinking she knew better, predicting that something would go wrong, and it did.

When the boy raised his fist in the air, he and Chapa disappeared in a golden flash, just to reappear between Schwoz and the happy couple. They pushed apart in shock, but luckily, the heroine's foresight told her to jump before they piled on top of her, seeking solace and safety in her husband's embrace as he yelped. God, he really needed to learn how to do it correctly.

"Maybe you should walk..." Miles told his friend, patting Volt on the shoulder as she stared at him, her face pale and gaunt after such a short yet mind-boggling trip. She couldn't describe how it felt to teleport. Yet, the closest description was her innards becoming her outtards whilst the gizzards were set on fire, making her want to throw up and cry all at once until the dizziness faded.

But she didn't argue, knowing he was probably right. So, she hopped up to the tube, hitting her belt to make the glass fall around her, eager to get going.

"Down the tube!"

"so, while Chapa takes care of Trent and Mary, Miles and I will go find the most popular person in Swellview," Mika said efficiently once her friend had left, aware that they'd only save their reputations if they worked together. She believed in teamwork and all that mushy stuff...

"Lucky you 'cause you're looking at him," Ray was quick to boast, smirking as he pointed his thumbs at himself, confident that he'd top the popularity list as the city's favourite hero. But the siblings and Schwoz weren't so sure, giggling with (y/n) at the bigheaded man as the genius pulled up a list from the internet, and it seemed that the Captain had been dethroned.

"You're not the most popular person in Swellview..."

"You shut your filthy mouth, Schwoz," Ray hissed, hating how the small man always argued with him, but (y/n) quickly put him in his place, curbing his rude tone. She hugged his arm and kissed the edge of his shoulder, using all her wiles and allure to break the news gently.

"No, look, doofus!" She told him, directing his attention to the holographic monitor, which showed the top five most famous people in Swellview - those trending on all the social media sights.

He was on it, ranking at number three, above someone called Officer Jamz, a policeman known for his breakdancing, and Benny, a dog known for his hats. His face fell at such a low ranking, pouting at how his popularity had dropped. But he wasn't too mad at who was above him, seeing Miss Danger's smiling face in the number-two spot.

"Oh my gosh, (y/n/n), you're the second most popular person in Swellview!" Mika exclaimed, nudging the woman in the ribs as she shrugged. That didn't mean much to her. She wondered exactly how they measured her fame, so she faced her husband, giving him her cutest, fluttering eyelashes to melt his fury.

"Sorry, doofus. I know I took your spot..." she said softly, stroking her hands up his chest as Ray studied the screen, but he didn't look mad. Instead, he glanced down with an enamoured smile, kissing her nose with as much love as he always had.

"S'okay, darlin'. You know I love seeing you on top of me..." he whispered with a sly wink, laughing as she buried her burning face in his chest, praying that the children didn't understand his true meaning. Luckily, they didn't pick up on it, merely seeing a man teasing his wife - all good fun.

(y/n) quickly recovered, swallowing her embarrassment with a few rapid kisses from her husband, needing his peppermint-bubblegum taste to wash away the heat pooling in her cheeks. She returned to the screen and its most important feature, looking at the girl who'd claimed the throne - the most famous person in Swellview, and (y/n) had no idea who she was.

"Who's Natalie Mazdah?"

"Oh, she's the girl who was recently on the same flight as Emma Watson," Miles exclaimed, not expecting two oldies to know who such an influential celebrity was, and indeed, they didn't understand. Since when could someone leech off someone else's stardom?

"Oh, her? Can't compete with that..." Ray shrugged, vaguely knowing the name since every teenager talked about her when he was out and about, but he didn't care. Maybe he was a little salty that someone so inconsequential had stolen his thunder, but with his sweet girl squeezing his arms and staring at his washboard abs through his shirt, he knew some things were better than fame.

"She's probably at that new restaurant that only serves foods that are blended," Mika guessed, recalling how she'd been meaning to visit the newest hot spot in town since anyone who was anyone gathered there, but she hadn't the chance...until now.

"Hip Hop Purée?" Miles suggested, knowing the joint she was talking about - all about the music, people, and odd food craze, and his sister nodded, knowing her celeb gossip like a computer.

"Mmm-hmm, she holds court there every day, starting at two-forty-two."

"But that's only fourteen minutes from now!" Schwoz gasped, checking his PearPhone as Miles did the same, blanching when he saw how they'd been standing around chatting for too long. These kids really liked their specific times, down to the minute and second.

"It's two-twenty-eight already?!"

"Yeah, you two better get going," (y/n) told them, urging the kids to get up the stairs and into the tube. With Ray's barked commands and furious clapping, they ran up to the tube pad without another word.

Meanwhile, Bose returned with Ellis in his arms, finally corralling the little boy into handing over the scissors. God, that kid could run, and he safely handed him over to the heroine, who cooed and grinned at his gummy smile while Miles and Mika left.

She looked adorable, bouncing him up and down, mimicking a rocket ship just to make him laugh, and Ray swore he saw his future then and there. He was the luckiest man on Earth, knowing she'd be his children's mother one day, although that wasn't now. Now, Ellis needed to go home to his parents, who were undoubtedly worried sick at his disappearance, leading to their mission - to find his home.

"So, how do we find this little man's parents? You wanna go home, baby? Home time? Aww, yes!" (y/n) squealed, rubbing her nose against the boy's soft, Play-Doh-like cheek, blowing raspberries as her husband tried not to drag her off.

She wasn't making this easy for him, showing the lad off for him to see. Still, thankfully, Schwoz carried on as he tenderly stroked the cornsilk locks under his beanie, dreaming of the day when he could call the child his own.

"That won't be hard," Schwoz said, smiling softly when he saw how they interacted with Ellis, but he hid it well and said nothing.

"I entered his genetic information into the Man's Nest computer and created an image of exactly what his mom looks like. We'll use this and go find her," he explained, handing his boss a photo of a beautiful blonde lady beaming at the imaginary camera. Well, at least she looked kind, and (y/n) hoped she wouldn't be too upset about two weirdos accidentally stealing her son.

"She shouldn't be too hard to find now that we know what she looks like."

"Okay, so, me, you, and Bose are going to find this kid's mom," Ray nodded, still muddled with thoughts of building baby furniture, changing diapers, and filling bottles. It sounded divine but made him trip over his feet, Ellis giggling at the silly man as the lovely lady carried him over to the whooshy thing.

"You okay, Ray?" Schwoz called out to him with a smirk, highly amused to see the great hero in a daydream just because he saw his wife holding a child. He thought he had more restraint than that, having been assured that he wouldn't be Uncle Schwozie for a while yet, not until things settled down.

"I'm fine! God, Schwoz, leave me alone!" The man snapped harshly, furiously looking over his shoulder when the genius caught his minor mistake, a pink blush dusting his cheeks.

It was humiliating to be noticed, feeling silly that something so small could distract him so easily, but who could blame him? It was his dream...

"Why so grumpy, doof?" (y/n) asked obliviously as she stood on the tube pad, ready to drop down. She held the little lad tighter, tucking his soft face into her neck so the mechanism didn't frighten him. Everything felt natural, caring for him like she'd done for years with the other children in her charge, stroking his back soothingly as her lover sighed but smiled.

"Don't worry, sweet girl. Like I said, I'm fine..." he assured her, cupping her cheek to kiss her over Ellis' head, parting only when the boy cried and stirred at being squished. They chuckled at his antics and fussed him, looking like the picture of parenthood and domesticity before the tube fell, taking them away from Schwoz and his infernal teasing.

The genius shook his head mirthfully, knowing that look when he saw it, even if they claimed nothing was wrong. He wasn't an idiot, already placing his bets for when they'd share the happy news - maybe they'd even name them after him - perhaps he'd be the godfather?

"Jinkies, they've been married five minutes and already got the baby fever..."

As the various members of Danger Force struggled to keep their names from being Wing Wimp, Oopsie Girl, and whatever else forever, Ray and (y/n) had been babysitting Ellis all afternoon.

He was a sweet kid, making them laugh as they bought a few pieces of baby gear to look after him properly, taking him to the park and shopping mall--anywhere they thought there'd be a crowd. No one seemed to know who he was or where he was from, making an otherwise pleasant afternoon too stressful for the couple to handle.

As charming as it was to see him smile, hear his cute giggle, and play patty cake, they constantly had to watch over their shoulders to see if the cops were coming, knowing the longer they enjoyed the idyllic fantasy, the hotter the water they'd be in.

That, and they also had to watch Bose all day, which was like watching two babies at once, something they weren't prepared for since the long-haired boy roamed like a ditzy poodle, sticking his hands in dangerous places, eating food off the floor, and talking to strangers. He was sometimes worse than Ellis, wandering off whenever they took their eye off the ball.

It was no wonder that by the end of the day, they walked into Hip Hop Purée, desperate to sit down and rest, even as Miles and Mika ran themselves ragged, trying to talk to Natalie Mazdah and her posse.

"Look, Raymond, all I'm saying is if you had brought the baby like I'd asked you to, we wouldn't have to stop here to feed Ellis," (y/n) told her husband tiredly as they stomped into the café. She couldn't believe they had to feed the poor kid puréed garbage, but they had no choice - Ray swore they wouldn't need anything from the baby store.

Her shoulders ached from holding the lad in a baby backpack, yet she refused to admit defeat and pass him over. Her valiant doofus carried all the supplies; bottles, diapers, books, toys, spit rags - he threw it over his shoulder without complaint, so the least she could do was carry the baby.

But they were tired and stressed about finding the mysterious woman in the photograph. She was beginning to understand all those parents she rolled her eyes at, wondering what could be so bad that they needed to argue in public. The struggle was real, and whilst she loved Ray with everything she had, his stubbornness versus her rationale for parenting rubbed her in the wrong way.

"You know what, sweetheart?" Ray frowned, spitting out the word like acid, even though it didn't feel right. She was his beautiful wife; he didn't want to fight...but couldn't he catch a break?"

"You have been critical since the moment we left!"

"Don't fight in front of our boys!" (y/n) hissed, concerned that their harsh words would frighten the children around them, knowing they were more sensitive than they let on.

Bose, as usual, was lost in his little world, marvelling at the fancy decor. However, Ellis sat silently in his backpack, peering at the world through his new shades until the silly man's voice became mean. Fat crocodile tears began to roll down his face as he wailed, feeling unsafe in the new environment with all the loud voices, prompting (y/n) to sigh.

They made it look so effortless in parenting videos.

"Well, I hope you're happy..." she retorted, moving to slide the boy off her back so she could comfort him. Her glare made Ray's guts twist into knots, hating that she was mad at him over something he couldn't control.

Scrunching up his nose, he tossed the supply satchel onto the table, not giving a damn about its contents, as he placed his hands on his hips and bit his tongue, not wanting to scream in front of so many people. They shared a terse look while (y/n) bounced the surly toddler, murmuring in a high-pitched voice that it would be all right and that the big bad man didn't mean to frighten him.

She didn't want to upset him, but Ray huffed, thinking the big bad man wouldn't be so frightening if his wife let him do more, noticing how she always held the boy, always did the feeding, always called the shots for naps, playtime, and burping. They were supposed to be a team, so why did it feel like he was on the outside looking in?

"Let's just sit down..." the hero muttered, barely having the strength to argue after a full parenting day. Maybe it was because they didn't have the spark of having their own child, but this wasn't how he thought it would be.

Still, (y/n) didn't argue, carefully putting Ellis on her hip as she told Bose to sit down. The kid pulled out a colouring book and crayons from one of the bags, which had been bought for the baby, but they let him doodle since it kept him occupied and quiet - a blessing when the atmosphere was so frosty.

With both children content and healthy for the time being, the couple took a sigh of relief, slumping into their chairs to let their bodies recover, only interrupted when a waitress came to take their order. They chose their food quickly, nothing seeming appropriate for a three-year-old, but they went with what they thought he would like, just wanting to get him fed rather than being picky. It wasn't like he really was their boy.

For some reason, Bose was happy with anything, too busy colouring his fire truck green to look at the menu properly. Still, they went with it, forgoing any puréed mush since Ellis ate like a toddler - unsurprisingly.

Dinner time was a military operation with wet wipes and a fresh t-shirt on standby in case he dribbled or spat something back, and (y/n) was always prepared, reaching to grab the backpack while balancing the child in her lap.

"Why don't you give him to me, sweet girl?" Ray asked as he watched her struggle. Bending down to reach the zipper while keeping Ellis upright was no mean feat, and he just sat there, doing nothing but watching Bose mismatch his crayons. It made sense for him to mind the baby, and it wasn't like he was terrible with kids, yet (y/n) just smiled sourly and shook her head.

"I'm fine, doofus. Might as well be prepared before he vomits rather than after..."

"Yeah, but I'd rather not watch him faceplant the floor, so just pass him to me," he pressed, pursing his lips to remain calm, even as she ignored his offer.

She clearly needed help, gasping under her breath when the child nearly fell, but she wouldn't admit defeat--no, she had to prove she was good at this. To whom she didn't know, but she wanted to be good at parenting, even if it was just keeping him uninjured before eating.

"I said, I can handle him, Raymond," (y/n) replied, swearing when the zipper got stuck, and Ellis squirmed, uncomfy in her unsecured hold as his head wobbled from side to side.

Ray sighed deeply, not needing to be psychic to know an accident in the making, so he reached out to steady the boy, taking his wife's wrist in his hand at the same time. He pulled her away from the blasted bag, unphased in the face of her scowl because as much as she thought he was the enemy, he wanted to help. She didn't have to do it all alone...

"Hey, I'm here to help, not screw you over. You don't have to take care of everyone, so let me help you, sweet girl. Give Ellis to me..." the man said firmly but softly, holding his arms to take the child as she debated it. She'd been cuddling him all day, and a break did sound nice...

Bose had paused his colouring, finally sensing something was wrong, and he watched as (y/n) bit her lip and squeezed the toddler before relenting, shuffling him down her knees and across the gap.

"Okay..." the heroine sighed, gently cradling the kid until he safely slid onto her husband's knee, looking quite content against his muscular, broad chest. Now, Bose could return to his artwork, blissfully unaware of any other problems after they shared a brief but loving smile.

Ray grinned down at the kid as his precious wife watched, softening her heart with how handsome he looked--how quickly he stepped into the paternal role, whether he claimed otherwise or not - a dad she'd definitely like to...fall in love with.

With the child's weight gone, she could breathe again, stretching her spine as her doofus cooed, babbling in babyish to entertain him. He was good at it, pretending his leg was a horse and Ellis was a cowboy, riding across the desert with sound effects to match - a braying whinny and epic soundtrack coming from his mouth.

"You know, doofus, to say you hated the thought of having another bunch of kids to raise, you're surprisingly good at it."

"What?" Ray blinked, looking up from the world of make-believe to see his wife looking at him like he'd done something magical. She hadn't smiled like that all afternoon, soothing the knots in his tummy as she tickled Ellis' chin before resting her hand on his thigh.

"You're good with kids," she clarified, hoping the simplicity would make it through his dense skull, and it did, making Ray chuckle bashfully since he didn't think so. He was the last person he'd trust with a mini-human's life.

"Eh...so are you, sweet girl. The kids...they, uh...like you," he replied awkwardly, not knowing how to say that their team worshipped the ground she walked on. And not only that, but the others did, too, becoming special enough to treat her like their adoptive mom, and he could see why. He married the sweetest girl in the world...

"I'd hope so, doof. It's gonna be pretty awkward if they don't like their teachers." They laughed at that, glad to finally relax after an eventfully stressful day. Ellis was quiet, fiddling with his fingers or the lint on Ray's sweater so they could just talk--and it was nice, no need to bite each other's head off.

They felt terrible about it, hating when they fought, and Ray reached out to take her hand in his. He thumbed her wedding rings, reminding himself that he promised to wake up every day and see her happy, and he intended to hold to that, never wanting to be the reason she stopped smiling. The world would be a cold place without her radiant joy...

And then, deep in thought, he paused as she adjusted the boy's hat, caring even when she didn't have to. She'd make a wonderful mother, and whilst he knew it wasn't possible, he couldn't help but ask, reaching for the distant future.

"We could have one."

"Have one what?" (y/n) frowned, concerned by the deep etches in his forehead because her lover never thought that hard. She didn't understand, too busy fawning over how good he looked in that shirt with a kid in his lap to truly listen to what he was saying.

"A baby." But Ray humoured her, rocking Ellis before gesturing to him, a hopeful shine in his eyes at the possibility- however small - she might say yes.

Her breath hitched; hearing it out loud differed from dreaming during stolen moments in a crowded room when she chastised herself for moving too quickly. Knowing Ray wanted that warmed her heart and made her tummy flip-flop. But reason won in the end, rationality telling her that the last thing they needed was another mess-maker in their home.

"Ray, we agreed to wait. We've barely been married a month."

"And what a month it's been, darlin'," he replied jokingly, waggling his eyebrows at all the fun they'd had together. He could honestly say that he'd never been happier, realising that for all his ambitions and desires as Captain Man, his reason for living was to be her trophy husband. And he didn't even care, willing to give her anything to ensure the happiness stayed.

"Seriously, though, look at this little fella. Don't you want one?" His smile quickly fell, though, as was appropriate during such a meaningful conversation. They'd talked about it so many damn times, but he couldn't help himself, not when she walked around like a...mom. The thought was enough to make him burst into flames.

"I do, but not when we live in chaos," (y/n) nodded, picking her words carefully since she didn't want to hurt his feelings. It wasn't an outright no, but she saw things practically, highly aware that mere love and optimism didn't raise a kid when hellfire and villains were outside their door.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad..."

"Really, doofus?" She looked at her husband dryly, wondering if they'd been sleeping in the same bed for the past few weeks because they hadn't had a normal day since...forever.

"Chapa nearly took out the national grid last week when she sneezed. Mika can't go to a football game without knocking a pyramid of cheerleaders down like dominoes when they score. Miles goes to thirteen million countries per day. And Bose--"

"What's wrong with Bose?" Ray asked, believing the boy to be dense but not a threat. At least unlike his friends, his powers weren't easily triggered or deadly, neither were they likely to expose them all as superheroes, but (y/n) still wasn't convinced.

"Well, nothing, but look at him, doof! He's eating crayons!" She exclaimed quietly, jerking her head in the oblivious kid's direction, and Ray saw that his precious wife was right. Drawing away in his happy little world, the hero cringed when he saw the waxy yellow stain around his mouth and red clumps sticking to his teeth - he thought they tasted like candy. And that boy was destined to be a hero, apparently.

"A baby would be a bad idea right now..." she sighed, denying her heart what it sorely wanted, but it was for the best. If she got pregnant now, the kid would be lost in the crowd, trampled by the circus of children running riot in the Man's Nest.

"I guess you're right..." Ray muttered, looking disappointed as Ellis' chubby, starfish-like hand stroked his stubbly cheek. It made him long for the days when they wouldn't have to worry about others - villains, heroes, civilians - they'd just be Ray and (y/n). And they'd be great.

"But one day, right?"

"Of course. One day, we'll have a little Ray or (y/n) junior," his wife giggled, falling in love with the idea of having more doofuses running around for her to mind - any kid coming from Ray had to be adorable. But he shrugged, hoping they'd be a little more creative when the time came, despite his ego; he wanted his children to be their own person, no need to follow his every footstep.

"You know, I've always wanted a daughter named Marabelle..."

"No names, doofus. Not until we're sure, or we'll be knee-deep in kids."

"Doesn't sound so bad..." he chuckled when (y/n) gulped, tummy fluttering at the thought of doing actual baby things, warming her cheeks.

If she thought about it too much, he'd lead her into temptation, and God knows she was only hanging on by a thread, given that she was married to a Greek God of a man. Very little was stopping her from hitting the pillows and raising an army of little ones. But thankfully, the waitress arrived with their order before she could jump his bones.

"Hi, I got your blended cheeseburger, blended Thanksgiving dinner, and an entire blended chocolate cake!" The hipster-looking lady said and placed the food--drinks?--in front of them, the mush looking cooler than it was since the cups looked like mason jars with straws.

The chocolate didn't look too bad, but the burger and turkey goop looked like cat sick, making (y/n) wonder if they'd come to the right place as she and her doofus murmured their thanks.

"Oh, and here's some spicy milk to wash it down!" She added, putting the carton near Bose, although the heroine knew she wouldn't let Ellis have any - that stuff would make him puke.

"Okay, thank you very much," Ray smiled briefly before reaching for the dark brown cup to feed the toddler, even though the cheeseburger was there.

"You want a lil' sip of chocolate cake?"

"Doofus, he has to...drink all of his cheeseburger before he can have his chocolate thing," (y/n) told him, grabbing his wrist before he could put the straw near Ellis' mouth, knowing the boy would ruin his appetite with dessert. He needed some proper nutrition, if there was any, in the orange purée. While she didn't mean to be difficult, Ray pursed his lips at the interruption, his frustration from the hours-long argument resurfacing.

"He's had a long day, darlin'," he replied curtly, wanting to get some food in the boy to stop his tummy grumbling. He wasn't a stickler for rules, unlike his wife, who frowned at his obstreperous mood - where did the laughter go?

"I've had a long day. Just start with the cheeseburger!" The woman argued, holding onto the blended cake so he couldn't give it to the toddler, but Ray refused to let go. They looked a little silly, and Bose looked up awkwardly to see them bickering again, seeing how the lid wobbled under their fingers. Even he deduced that the pressure was an accident waiting to happen.

"Oh, let's make it about you!"

"Where's this coming from, Raymond? I just want him to eat something proper before a sugar meltdown!" They growled at each other, tugging the chocolate shake back and forth, too stubborn to let go.

"Will you just--AH!" Ray grunted, trying to slip the jar out from her fingers, but when (y/n) let go, the lid popped off, sending its sticky contents all over his beautifully tight shirt. The chocolate gunk seeped into the blue fabric, covering his chest, shoulder, arm, and neck, too much to dap off with a napkin as the woman put a shaky hand over her mouth in shock. She didn't mean for that to happen...

"Ah, great!"

"Sorry..." she winced, not knowing whether to grab a tissue to clean him up or stay still, but Ray didn't leave it up for debate, ignoring her apology. Gritting his teeth, he sighed, trying to reign in his temper as the mess dripped onto his jeans, forcing him to leave the table as Bose and Ellis giggled. They found the goop funny...

"Here, just take him..." he told her quietly, quickly shuffling the lad off his knee as she gasped, shocked at his change in mood--and over a blended cake, no less. She shook her head at the argument, thinking it and her doofus were ridiculous. Still, she accepted the boy anyway, keeping her stare emotionless as he stood up.

"Oh, so now I have to have him again? That lasted long..."

"Yes, I have to go wash this off!" Ray replied, gesturing to the sticky purée coating his torso, looking abnormally upset about something--something much deeper than having a drink thrown over him. He pouted at the spillage, hoping it wouldn't stain since he loved that shirt, wearing it when he wanted to draw someone's attention to his finer features.

"I wear this shirt to make you check me out!"

"Well, it works!" (y/n) hissed in reply, trying to stay mad, but how could she when he admitted something like that?

Her cheeks burned at being found out, having sworn her glances and stares were sneaky and subtle. But perhaps she'd gotten sloppy, looking at her lover's bugling biceps, toned chest, and rippling back for too long--and not to mention how she sometimes stared at his perky butt. She loved that shirt, smiling softly as he stomped off to go and save it.

"He's a real sweetheart, huh, Ellis?" She mumbled to the lad, pecking his little forehead as he squirmed in her lap. It was hard to hang onto the argument when he had her in his thoughts in everything, and really, what were they arguing about anyway? Chocolate cake? It made her feel guilty and silly...

"Such a doofus, too..." But I love him, she thought, rocking the boy as she encouraged him to drink his cheeseburger, mentally reminding herself to properly apologise to her husband when he returned.

In the meantime, Ellis got dinner and show, sipping his food quietly as Bose coloured his book and Miles and Mika burst through the door, wearing their uniforms. They'd been concocting plans all afternoon to make Natalie say their superhero names, approaching her clique with high hopes and much bravery. However, she simply laughed them away, not bothering to entertain two losers when she could talk about her brief encounter with Emma Watson.

Y'know, because that was fame.

"Okay, hurry! Hurry!"

"Don't tell me my pace!" The siblings bickered as they entered, knowing the longer they waited, the higher the stakes were; Chapa couldn't hold Trent and Mary off forever, and rumour had it that they were already on their second strike. One more, and The Wing Wimp would be permanent.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Bose asked, looking up from his work to see his friends looking frazzled. It felt like forever since he'd seen them, and he couldn't wait to show off his pretty purple tiger.

"What are you doing here?" Mika shot back, shock written across her and Miles' faces when they turned to see the little group, complete with (y/n) and Ellis. The woman and child waved cutely, but that wasn't the point because they were supposed to find his parents, not engage in play dates at Hip Hop Purée.

"Honestly? I forgot...but look at my fire truck! And my tiger! And this flower!" The long-haired kid replied with a shrug, but he quickly perked up when he showed them his colouring book, flicking through the pages to show them how he'd expertly filled in the outlines, even if all the colours were odd. They nodded politely, praising him for a job very well done before turning to (y/n) for an explanation.

"(y/n/n)? Care to explain?"

"We got tired, came to feed the kid, had a fight, and now Ray's washing a mushed-up cake off his shirt. I think that covers everything," the heroine replied, still holding the blended cheeseburger as her charge cooed, loving the bizarre taste even as the flavours swirled together.

"You're supposed to be looking for Ellis' parents. He's missing!" Mika reminded her, picking up the carton of spicy milk to show her a picture of poor little Ellis Farrow, reported missing by his worried parents. The woman bit her lip, scolding herself for not acting as promptly as possible just to pretend for a little longer. Now, she felt bad...

"Oh, sweet cheese..."

"He's not missing. He's right there!" Bose told his friend naively, pointing at the giggling kid as he grinned, but that only frustrated Mika more. She growled and clenched her fists, not in the mood for his moronic comments, and she was this close to super-screaming the building down.

"Let's go get Natalie Mazdah to say our names before someone says--" Miles told her gently, trying to guide her away from the problematic boy, but then, someone noticed their funky uniforms, and it just had to be someone from the bitch posse...

"Hey, it's Wing Wimp and Oopsie Girl!" A pretty blonde girl exclaimed to her friends, pointing at the embarrassed sidekicks as they sighed, hating how she giggled tauntingly.

"--That."

"Right! Our superhero names! Wait for me. I'll transform and be right back!" Bose grinned, pinching Ellis' trick and standing up, moving past (y/n) before she could scold him for talking about hero things in public. He wanted a piece of the action, even though they didn't have the time nor the need to drag the boy and his wild ideas with them. Still, despite their insistence, he went for it, passing Volt as he slipped through the door.

"Hey, lady!"

"Did you get the news to stop saying your names?" (y/n) asked, bouncing the kid on her knee as she studied the milk carton for Ellis' parents' phone number, and a tired-looking Chapa joined her friends, and she didn't look happy. Her guess was no...

"Technically? No. But actually...also no." She called it. One point for (y/n/n).

"So, the news has said our names twice?" Miles asked incredulously, increasingly nervous they'd be stuck with those names forever. The girl didn't look confident, sweat clinging to her forehead like she'd run all the way from the studio, and he hoped she hadn't done anything rash. What he didn't know...

"Technically? Yes," she sniffed, making the boy smack his forehead in frustration. Meanwhile, (y/n) had pulled out her PearPhone and punched in the number on the spicy milk with a heavy heart, hoping the toddler's parents didn't kill her for waiting so long. If they got him back, it would be okay, right?"

"Shush, you guys--" she told them quietly as the number dialled, beeping for a few seconds before connecting to a very frantic-sounding man.

"Hi, yeah, I'm calling about your missing child? Ellis? We've got him at Hip Hop Purée," she told the man as calmly as possible, only to receive a slurry of harsh words about what, when, where, who, and how. He demanded to know if she was a weirdo after his son disappeared from his stroller, which she took deep offence to, knowing Bose was to blame, not her.

"Excuse me, sir, I am not a kidnapper! We found him at this café! Look, just come and get him! Bye!" As Bose returned to the group, she abruptly hung up, wickedly playing on the parents' emotions that they'd come to get their precious baby, no matter the circumstances.

Perhaps she'd skirted over the details that she'd enjoyed a day of make-believe with her husband, acting as if they were parents for a few hours. Still, they didn't need to know that, sounding like they were already running out of the door when she hit the red button.

"Okay, let's make this quick. There's a raincoat-wearing puppy in that colouring book with my name on it!" Bose told his friends as the woman sighed, eager to enjoy her last few minutes with the child as they messed about with Swellview's favourite celebrity. With the gang back together, Mika turned to the clique huddled in the corner of the room, feeling fearless now that she had her mask on.

"Natalie Mazdah!" She called out, catching the pretty, if highly annoying, girl's attention.

"Hi!"

"We are Danger Force..." she told her sternly as (y/n) sat back to watch the show, knowing she couldn't leave Ellis alone to go and transform into Miss Danger. They were on their own, and the tension was palpable; approaching the girl idol like that was brave--or perhaps sheer stupidity.

"Yeah, and my name's not Wing Wimp. It's--" Miles added, fully supporting his sister until an uninvited visitor burst onto the scene - before they could declare themselves valid, serious heroes.

"Well, well, well..." (y/n) sat bolt upright as an all-too-familiar figure strolled into the café, her eyes wide and tummy tingle on high alert.

She watched whilst The Toddler - not Ellis, the actual supervillain - pushed the door open and walked straight past her, heading for Danger Force with his onesie-wearing lackeys hot on his heels. Something told her he was gatecrashing this party, and the gum tube in her pocket seemingly dug into her hip more than usual, but she couldn't grab it, not while she had the kid. Of all the times for Ray to step away...

"It's The Toddler! Someone save Natalie Mazdah!" The blonde girl cried, petrified as she glanced around the room for Captain Man or Miss Danger, but no one was around. (y/n) felt helpless, making eye contact with Mika as the stunned kids gulped, finally facing their first proper, one-on-one fight.

"Who cares about Natalie Maaaazdah?" Todd sneered, thinking the blonde was brave but idiotic for shielding the so-called celebrity when he'd wreak havoc on them all. And his enemies were nowhere in sight...

"Y'know, she was once on a plane with Emma Watson," the woman in the corner retorted dryly, hugging Ellis close as he cowered before the bad guys, but strangely, she didn't. She thought it was hilarious that The Toddler knew her so well but didn't recognise her, daring to meet his eye when he whipped around at her monotone voice.

"Okay, let's put a pin in that because I really want to hear that story later," he gasped, too busy with villain stuff, but he wasn't opposed to a bit of gossip. It was strange; that girl with the baby looked and sounded familiar and was maybe a little gutsier than most, but he couldn't quite place it. Eh, she didn't look like much of a threat anyway...

"But first! Toddie's hungry..." he growled, revealing his more menacing side under all that childish horseplay. With a snap of his fingers, he ordered one of his bulkier henchmen onto his hands and knees in front of the cash register, creating the perfect step for the man-baby to peer at the terrified waiter and step onto the counter.

"Not on our watch, Toddler!" ShoutOut announced, causing the villain to stamp his feet in a temper tantrum, wanting to know which fool stopped his fun before it began.

"Who are you?!" After leaping off the counter, he growled his demands, glaring at the four plucky kids as Miss Danger secretly watched from her seat, dithering about whether she should risk leaving the baby alone to transform and help. But Mika seemed to know what she was doing, either finding her courage or playing off her fear brilliantly as she and her friends eyed their enemy and prepared themselves for a fight. Those lackeys sure looked big...

"We're Danger Force!" Chapa replied snarkily.

"Yeah, that's Spicy Milk, and she's Oopsie Girl--" Natalie said, nearly ruining their reputations as she studied the group innocently, simply repeating what she'd heard on the news. She didn't know they were serious about being heroes, making her frown when the kids shouted at her for being so stupid, for saying their names wrong--for not listening when they needed her most.

"Okay, all right, enough!" The Toddler yelled, holding his hands up to stop the children from bickering. Jeez, he missed when all he had to worry about was Captain Man and his little sidekicks, but they were nowhere to be seen. And fortunately, he could handle a few meddling kids, especially ones with such weird clothes.

"I don't care what your names are. Just stay out of my way!" He snapped, prompting Mika to try and use her super-scream. Raising her open palms to her face, she released an all-mighty roar, only to raise a few eyebrows. For some unknown reason, she couldn't get her vocal cords to flex properly, making her just look strange as Todd chuckled - who were these clowns?

"Waaaaaaahh--okay, lemme try again---"

"What are you doing?" He asked as the bizarre girl kept screaming, staring at the floor when nothing happened. Did he need to call her carer or something?

(y/n) hid her face in her hands as she watched, cringing when Poor Mika moved another pot of pencils onto the floor but nothing else. Her scream wasn't powerful enough, reinforcing her and Ray's argument that they weren't ready for active duty without more training. Still, at least she impressed Bose.

"You did it!" He praised her, confused as always when he watched the pencils roll in all directions.

"I got this!" Miles boldly claimed, ignoring his special friend and pushing past his red-faced sister as he swaggered up to the man-baby, confident that he'd do a better job than his sister. He'd had his powers for longer, and whilst he wasn't brilliant at using them, at least he knew how to activate them.

"Special delivery--to jail!"

"Uh, what?" The Toddler frowned as the strange boy placed a hand on his shoulder and his henchman's arm before disappearing in a flash of brilliant light. Everyone gasped at the spectacle, whispering and gossiping about what could've happened, but they didn't have long to speculate.

Miles' confidence was misplaced as not a second later, he and the baddies appeared behind the counter - not the county jail. They'd barely moved a metre, looking stunned but unimpressed as his ears burned; not quite the hero he wanted to be since he'd just moved them closer to the cash register and food.

"Oh, great! We're right next to the blended cake!" Todd cried in delight as (y/n) smacked her forehead, regretting not making her move earlier. It was too late now, firmly fixed in her seat as an innocent civilian - they wouldn't leave her sneak out now.

"Come on, hurry up!"

The Toddler roughly pushed AWOL to the ground, the kid landing with a yelp and a thud, and Mika rushed to help him as the villains began to raid the café. Next, Chapa decided to try her luck, dashing into the middle of the room with an electric charge ready to go. However, she could do no more than make her fingers flare, straining to try and rain down some lightning, but it wouldn't work - just sparks. Glow worms in jam jars would've been better.

When she finally managed to release a trickle - a mere zap of red electricity - it missed the cackling baddie by a mile, flying across the room to hit Natalie Mazdah in the arm instead. What a mistake to make: frying the coolest celeb in Swellview...

"Fill them up! Let's get some blended cake!" Todd ordered his henchmen, grabbing as many empty jars as possible to steal all the food now that those kids had been dealt with. Well, not all of them.

Bose was the last line of defence; he was unsure of his abilities, but he had a go, putting two fingers against his temples as he attempted to make a blender jug float. It didn't look like much, but the jug was surprisingly heavy, jerking as it emerged from its base, barely staying afloat as the pressure built in his head.

They frowned at the mysterious phenomenon, not noticing that Bose was the magician until Chapa tried again, only to zap the cash register. Everything turned into a shit show, making (y/n) groan and hide her eyes as the zap tripped the lock, opening the cash drawer to make dozens of dollars fly out--right into The Toddler's hands.

"Awww, yeah! Free money!" He exclaimed as the waiters put their hands on their heads, knowing they were about to lose a day's takings thanks to these so-called heroes.

"What are you kids doing?!"

"Saving--the day!" Bose grunted although he wasn't convincing. His concentration hung on by a thread, snapping when the blender jug peaked, only to fall on his head when he couldn't take the strain. It bounced off his skull, sending him to the floor - dazed and wounded. Wow, such heroes...

"Yeah, I don't think so..." (y/n) muttered, soothing Ellis when he fussed, scared by all the loud noises and angry voices. As a heroine, she wasn't impressed by their performance, deeming it an utter shambles. However, they had one last trick up their sleeves; when their superpowers failed, they could always resort to brute strength, AKA the Captain Man approach.

"Forget out powers--let's just get 'em!" Mika yelled, prompting her friends, save for Bose, to charge at the villains, each taking a onesie-wearing goon whilst The Toddler gathered his stolen purées. Miss Danger winced as she watched, incognito, shielding the baby when Volt and her enemy wrestled a little too close.

"Spicy--milk!" ShoutOut grunted as she assisted her brother, struggling to keep him safe as the man squeezed their arms. Despite their lack of brain power, they were a lot stronger than the children, quickly crushing them without the aid of Captain Man or Miss Danger--but the girl had a plan.

"That's...not my name!" Chapa retorted, struggling with her opponent as he threw his weight around--more than she could manage--misunderstanding what they were saying.

"NO! Use--the spicy milk!" AWOL snapped, and (y/n) quickly understood what he meant. She grabbed the carton left on her table and handed it to the short-haired girl so she didn't have to take her eye off the heavy, breathing a sigh of relief when she poured it over his head. The milk splashed into his eyes, temporarily blinding the goon as the spice stung the sensitive organs, his instinct trying to rub it out.

With him squealing like a child, she growled and ran across the room to help her friends, the Macklin twins, as they moved just in time to dodge the tidal wave of spicy milk before she threw it at their opponent. With the henchmen incapacitated, shoving them out the door was effortless as The Toddler whined, stamping his foot at how they'd outsmarted his bodyguards.

"Hey! No fair! Those were my best goo--" Chapa wasn't one for his wimpy tone, wasting no time splashing the final trickle of milk in his face, silencing the villain. His face screwed up in pain, looking like he'd sucked on a lemon as the crocodile tears started; he was, after all, a man-baby...

"Mooooommmmy!" He wailed, utterly defeated, after the mean girl made his face go owwie, and he threw the looted dollars on the floor in a strop. He whined for his mother as he stomped out the door toward his battered henchmen, dragging his heels whilst Danger Force grinned victoriously.

(y/n) was impressed, clapping and cheering with everyone else as the kids slipped her a few bashful glances, knowing their methods were unconventional but effective. She didn't care, glad they'd held their own despite not having full control of their powers, and she stood up with Ellis on her hip to congratulate them.

"Nice work..." she whispered to Mika as they brushed elbows, aware that no one could know they knew each other, but the praise was enough. It had to be the best day of the young girl's life; Miss Danger was proud of her, something she thought impossible when she was little, but now they were friends. Things couldn't get any better--well, they could for (y/n).

"Well, I couldn't get the stain out..." Ray groaned as he returned to the café after missing all the action because he was scrubbing his shirt in the toilet.

*imma just leave this here. for science. definitely for science. i mean i'm not drooling or anything*

The stubborn chocolate cake wouldn't come clean with some severe encouragement, so he decided to leave it to his sweet girl and her laundry wizardry to wash it out. But at the same time, he didn't want to walk around looking like a guy with a poopy stain on his chest, not when that had been her favourite shirt, so he went for the next best thing; walking out half-naked to rapturous applause.

(y/n) felt her throat turn dry, and her mouth fell open, somehow choking on her spit simultaneously as she took in the delicious view of her husband shirtless, pecs, abs, and biceps on display for her to ogle. Admittedly, anyone could ogle, too, but she didn't care. She was speechless as the doofus emerged, thinking the cheers were for him and his impressive physique. Damn, was it her, or had the room gotten hot?

"Oh--thank you, thank you...I know! I'm huge!" He told the crowd with a cocky smirk, utterly unashamed at his inappropriate attire since everyone seemed to clap for him. His arms flexed and bulged as he puffed his chest out, a display of masculinity and strength as his wife sidled up to him, feeling hot and bothered by the view. And what a view it was...

"Doofus..." she mumbled, eyes glued to his bare skin as he turned and flashed his smirk at her, hoping he'd get this reaction from her. For everyone else, there was a look-but-no-touch policy. Yet she could do whatever she wanted, grabbing her fingers and pulling them to his toned stomach when she hesitated.

Ellis cooed, gently smacking the hero's beaming face, but (y/n) didn't notice, too entranced by how freakin' sexy her husband was to remember anything else.

"Yeah, sweet girl?" He replied softly, abs clenching as she trialled her fingers down to his belt buckle, unaware of the crowded room around them. It wasn't like this was a new sight, but this felt different, knowing the ladies around the room were eyeing her husband, but he was hers.

"Sorry for...snapping."

"Me too," the man muttered, kissing her softly as her palm roamed the vastness of his skin, marvelling at how she could feel the thick muscle moving underneath. Maybe he'd go shirtless every day if this was her reaction, loving how her brain stopped working because of his toned torso. That was an ego boost, much more than the fading applause.

"We just beat our first bad guys!" Mika exclaimed, subtly facing her boss and mentor as he tilted his wife's head back, greedily swallowing her sweet kisses.

She couldn't associate with him, not when he wasn't in uniform, and honestly, she didn't want to, not when he wasn't in clothes either. But some praise would've been nice, especially since he'd stolen (y/n) and turned her into a mush-brained, thirsty dimwit.

"Don't care--my wife thinks I'm hot..." he replied dismissively, curling an arm around her waist as she pulled away, breathless. It was embarrassing how he flexed his massive bicep for everyone to see; it was clearly a show-off. Still, she giggled and fondled it anyway, awed by how she couldn't get her fingers to join around it, and it was enough to make her tummy flutter with heat.

She knew he was hot, but had always been this hot?

"Ellis!" But it didn't last. A panicked cry broke the happy couple out of their little love bubble, spinning around to see two worried men running toward them. They seemed to know the boy, and he smiled sweetly at them, ignoring his temporary caretakers to stretch his arms in their direction.

"Daddies!" He exclaimed happily, giving them his adorable toothy grin as Ray and (y/n) frowned. Who were these guys? They were expecting a lady, thanks to Schwoz's genetic work, and the woman wasn't about to hand him over to two randomers.

"Uh, hi, and you are?" (y/n) asked awkwardly, allowing one of the men to take the child without a fight, and he slipped out of her hold all too easily. Her arms felt empty afterwards, shakily wrapping around her body as the man not holding Ellis gave her a thankful, relieved smile.

"We're Ellis' dads," he replied happily, indescribably overjoyed to see his son safe and sound after they'd lost him earlier on - any parent's worst nightmare. Ray frowned at the information as he laid a hand on his wife's shoulder, seeing how quiet and dejected she'd become.

"Okay, but where are Ellis' moms?" He asked a little harshly because the math wasn't mathing.

He wasn't conservative or bigoted, but he was a straightforward thinker, expecting to see the blonde lady in the photo, so these guys didn't make sense. Things had to be black and white, even if they just laughed off his question with polite smiles - like they always got this sort of thing.

"I'm sorry?" The guy asked as Ellis tucked himself between their legs, wondering if this peculiar couple had been watching his son all day. The lady was nice enough, but her partner was weird, standing there half-naked and looking at them like they'd done something wrong.

"Um, we were expecting this lady..." (y/n) told them, fumbling to bring the blonde's photo from her back pocket, and when she showed it to them, their faces flashed in recognition. Well, at least she existed.

"That's Ellis' birth mother, Samantha. We adopted him," one of the men explained, and (y/n) nodded understandingly, realising that for all her wisdom and experience, she'd been a little close-minded. It took a moment for Ray to work it out, but then he shrugged, not forming an opinion either way.

"She lives in Nova Scotia..."

"Great, well, uh, I'm glad this little guy got back to you. He's been a pleasure to look after," (y/n) nodded, knowing this was goodbye. She felt a little sad, which was stupid because Ellis was never hers to lose, but she didn't want to see him go.

"Thanks so much. We can never repay you for keeping him safe..."

Ray stroked her lower back soothingly as they exchanged pleasantries, patting the little boy on the head and giving him a hug before walking away. He got it; he'd fallen in love with caring for a tiny human, too, but his sweet girl said nothing, looking straight ahead because she knew if she turned back, she'd burst into tears - mourning a life that never existed.

"You okay?" He asked her quietly once they were alone, hating to see her bottom lip wobbling like that. She turned and buried herself in his chest, comforted by his soft skin as he held her tenderly, content to let her self-soothe for a moment.

"Yeah, just...feeling leaky," she sighed into the cleft between his pecs, missing the toddler already, even though he was a nightmare, and he ate out their wallets, and he caused an argument, and he plunged their somewhat organised routine into chaos.

Looking after Ellis wasn't easy, but she loved it, feeling empty now that they had no baby to look after. She'd finally found something she was good at - her calling to settle down and have a family with the love of her life - but it had been snatched away like everything else. Well, save for him...

"I'm gonna miss him too..."

"Eh...I think I'm just broody," she sniffed, shuddering when she realised she was wrapped up in a beefcake burrito, arms curled around her with his abs brushing her tummy. One day, they'd have their own, and it would be special, emotional, and forevermore. One day.

"Keep feeling like that, sweet girl. I can't run around after them without you," Ray joked, guiding her attention to the squad of buzzing kids across the room, who, subtly or unsubtly, had been staring at the random couple for the last few minutes.

They were fascinated by their nauseating interaction, Chapa and Miles snorting to each other that Captain Man was a simp, whilst Bose and Mika cooed. They thought it was sweet how much he cared but quickly snapped out of it when he glared and cleared his throat; Danger Force doesn't fraternise with half-naked men and their wives.

"Uh, well, buddy, I guess this is goodbye," Bose sniffed as he stepped forward, having enjoyed having a baby brother for the day since he was an only child. He was the first to step up to the kid after watching (y/n/n) tearfully walk away - it must've been hard for her, given how she needed a minute on her husband's shoulder.

"Goodbye, BrainStorm..." Ellis replied cutely, and (y/n) felt another wave of heartache wash over her.

"Oh, my heart can't take this!" She wailed, clutching at her chest as she returned to Ray's embrace, overcome by his innocence and cuteness. He chuckled at her reaction, feeling a few tears sting his eyes as Bose gasped. Goddamit...he couldn't wait until they had kids for real.

"Goodbye, ShoutOut. Goodbye, AWOL. Goodbye, Volt..." he said to all of them, making his daddies proud, and the kids melted as they waved him out the door. They'd never see him again, but parting wasn't such sweet sorrow, knowing that he was going home with two parents who loved him - just like the universe planned it to be.

The café door hadn't even closed when a figure appeared behind them, her phone held aloft as she streamed to her millions of followers, all of whom wanted to know why Emma Watson was on a plane. Danger Force was stunned when they turned around to see Natalie live-streaming their interaction, capturing their proper hero names for the world to hear. Thank God.

"And that...is the best thing I've seen since I saw Emma Watson...on a plane!" The influencer declared, touched by what she saw with the superheroes. The kids quickly gathered behind her, wanting to get in her video so her followers could see them, and of course, Chapa couldn't help but dance.

That was when they solidified themselves in the history books - thankfully, the right side of history. Danger Force was officially known as Captain Man and Miss Danger's team, and Swellview instantly fell in love with them, offering their respect and devotion instead of humiliation and mockery. It was hard-earned admiration, and even the most hard-to-please people were swayed...

"Hey, handsome...lookin' a little lonely over here." A soft, sultry voice cooed in Ray's ear as he smiled at the tender scene, silently proud of his team for the first victory, even though he didn't show it.

He'd been so caught up in their glory, thinking he'd maybe judged the kids too soon, that he'd forgotten about his nakedness, kept warm by his precious wife and how she was glued to his hip. Neither saw a brunette creeping up to him until she dared to lay a hand on his bicep, ogling the goods despite (y/n) clearly being on his arm.

She looked like a glamour model, with soft chocolate eyes hidden behind a wave of mocha locks and false eyelashes. When their eyes met, she stuck out her lips in a duck pout, unabashedly trailing her gaze down his bare chest to where his happy trail disappeared beneath his waistband, undoubtedly picturing what he was packing.

Her dress was nice, he guessed, black and curve-hugging with a slit up the leg--clearly a lawyer or some such businesswoman by her grace and confidence. A few years ago, he might've shown an interest, seeing that she was a beautiful woman, save for one crucial detail. She was no sweet girl, a vixen, rather than a kitten, which left a sour taste in his mouth.

Ray Manchester only had eyes for his wife, and she was not happy.

"Uh, excuse, but, uh, I'm right here," (y/n) told her sharply, hugging her husband's arm as the brunette gave her a bored look, unimpressed by what she saw. A plainish, average girl with nothing extraordinary about her except for the snot dribbles on her shoulder and purée staining her sweater - hardly someone worthy of the man she'd set her sights on.

"I can see that. Now, run along, dear. Me and the nice man were talking..."

"Uh..." Ray gulped, feeling nauseous when the woman slid her hand up his forearm to his bicep, squeezing it like his pretty girl would, only he winced when her cat-like nails dug into his skin. He felt like a piece of meat, glancing at his wife with a clearly uncomfortable expression as he froze, not knowing what to do with the devil woman's claws keeping him in her clutches.

(y/n) saw red, growling when she dared to touch her doofus when she, Mrs. Manchester, was standing right there. She assumed the woman had been watching his every move, licking her scarlet lips hungrily, so she must've seen them kissing and hugging, talking like a married couple. Which they were.

She didn't give a fuck, pushing herself between the witch and her husband before shoving her left hand before her eyes, hoping the diamonds on her finger cut her plasticky face.

"Back off, bitch. He's mine..." She snarled, feeling Ray's hands on her hips as the woman stumbled back, shocked and pale-faced, when she tripped in her ludicrous heels and bumped into a table. It would be a terrible shame for her to return to the office with purée on her ass, but (y/n) didn't care.

She turned in Ray's arms and brought him into a passionate kiss, adding a little tongue for dramatic effect. She didn't care who was watching--instead, she wanted the whole world to see her marking her territory. Ray Manchester was off the market, his wedding gleaming in the warm light as he happily succumbed to his fate.

"What a sweet moment for ShoutOut, AWOL, Volt, and BrainStorm..." Trent Overrunder announced as he and Mary Gaperman sat for the evening news. And the night's biggest story had to be how Captain Man's team had redeemed themselves, going from zero to hero in one epic mission.

They played Natalie Mazdah's livestream for the city, declaring them celebrities too. When they gathered in the Man's Nest, the kids squealed when they said the correct names - Miles, in particular, was glad that The Wing Wimp would never see the light of day again.

"You can say that again," Mary retorted, unknowingly helping the heroic team since they needed the names to stick. Even though Trent said them once, according to Schwoz, Ray, and (y/n), the lucky number was three, leaving them on the edge of their seats as the report continued.

"And I will! What a sweet moment for ShoutOut, AWOL, Volt, and BrainStorm!" The man repeated as his colleague grinned, acting childlike and adorable as she turned the utterance into a chant.

While they hadn't made the best first impression of themselves, she loved the new superheroes--or maybe she was just following whatever Trent said since that's usually what she did.

"Let's do it together!"

"What a sweet moment for ShoutOut, AWOL, Volt, and BrainStorm!" They cheered, completing the cycle of three as the team grinned. That was it; history had been made because they'd forever be known as their chosen aliases, not some unfortunate nicknames from a misfortunate accident.

They whooped and fist-pumped the air before turning off the monitor, smiling over their shared popcorn and sodas. Mika and Chapa high-fived before the latter bumped fists with Miles; as usual, Bose was lost in his own world, but he was content, knowing the news was supposed to be good.

"Now I kinda miss Gorgeous Hair Boy..." he commented as the others snacked on a bit of popcorn, trying to keep their eyes trained on the table since something was happening across the room that their poor innocent eyes didn't want to see.

Ray and (y/n) were...together and had been since they'd returned from Hip Hop Purée, snuggling and cuddling like no one else was in the room. It was cute, but God, the man didn't let their beloved friend breathe, insisting that he had to keep an eye on her since Ellis' departure had left her a little droopy. But did he really have to be so handsy with his tongue down her throat?!

"I miss when Ray wasn't trying to eat (y/n)'s face..." Mika groaned, and they all glanced at the happy couple, relieved to see they'd taken a break from canoodling to rub noses. Still gross, but not as bad, even if he was holding her butt.

It was their preferred spot for affection since (y/n) had a thing about windows and a complex about living underground, so they stood and admired the view--and Ray admired her. Although the kids had to admit that he never looked happier than when he was with her, looking ten years younger when she said the L-word. And no matter who listened, he wasn't ashamed to say it back.

"No, I love you more, sweet girl. Have I ever told you how incredibly hot you are?"

"Maybe once or twice..." (y/n) giggled, her arms thrown around his neck as she ignored the aching in her toes, standing on them to reach his lips. It was a shame that he had to put a shirt on, saying that she didn't mind seeing the artwork that was his body all the time - literal eye candy - but it kept the trash away.

At least she could see it at bedtime - the only woman to do so.

"You two are disgusting," Chapa grimaced when they kissed again, repulsed to see her boss's tongue run along the seam of the woman's lips. She was her friend, and to see her engage in such activities--she was gonna vomit.

Ray pulled away with an irritated expression, sparing them a glance before focusing on his precious girl again. He smushed her cheeks together, wondering if she was an angel in disguise as the irritation melted, forgotten about when she smiled at him like that.

"Can't a man love his wife?" He asked quietly, petting her head and kissing her temple as they embraced, looking perfectly content to stand there, rocking from side to side.

The kids had no argument for that, silently admitting that he was a sweetheart when (y/n) was around, showing that for all his silliness and harsh words when frustrated, he was just a man. And like any other man, he loved a pretty girl, becoming an idiot just so he could get a smile out of her, which they guessed was cute. Maybe. Secretly. They didn't want to admit it.

But they supposed they could make an exception--just this once.

3 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 1: The Danger Force Awakens

Season 1 Masterlist

*Welcome! If you don't know, I did the entirety of Henry Danger before this series, and whilst this could technically be read as a stand-alone story, reading the older books first would probably help everything make sense!

Click for vibes

Fun fact: I actually designed Miss Danger's new uniform first and then worked backwards to create a simpler version for the older one. So, I've had this design saved for a very long time!

Happy reading :)

~Swellview Academy for the Gifted~

If someone had said to (y/n) (y/l/n) that she'd one day end up as a teacher, she would've laughed in their face.

Engineer? Sure. It's what she'd always wanted to be. Superheroine? Sure - it wasn't so far-fetched after she met her beloved doofus. But teacher? She didn't think she was the type.

For years, her nerves made her too anxious in front of a crowd, especially one made up of teenagers, and everyone knows how cruel they can be. She always assumed she'd run a junk shop whilst moonlighting as a crimefighter; there was never time for anything else.

But things were different now--very different to how they'd been a few weeks prior. One door closed, and another opened, precisely to her and her husband's new venture - SWAG.

School was in session, and once she got into the swing of things and laid down the law, the kids were surprisingly eager to learn. They didn't jeer or make fun of her like in her nightmares; they just sat there, hanging onto her every word as she began the basics of a superhero's training.

She was the sensible one - what was new? - giving them genuine advice whilst Ray and Schwoz ran more...eccentric classes. But one thing stood out to Miles, Mila, Chapa, and Bose. They'd been at school for weeks, turning blind eyes to their professors' lovey-dovey hugs, kisses, and God knows what else, but they hadn't learned anything. Not really.

When Captain Man and Miss Danger said they'd train them to be outstanding heroes, they expected explosions, gun fights, and criminal takedowns, not homework, essays, and pop quizzes. And it wouldn't be so bad if it was helpful like it was at the beginning. It seemed like the adults were running out of things to say, keeping them glued to their desks without giving any practical guidance.

Theoretical knowledge wouldn't help in the real world, but tell that to Schwoz.

"Okay...time to practice your lying!" The bizarre man announced to a series of grumbles as he hurried through SWAG's classroom, heading for the lectern where (y/n) was standing.

Using her PearPad, she flicked the first slide of the slideshow onto the large Smartboard, knowing that this was what her doofus wanted her to teach. It wasn't like they liked this crap, even though telling fibs was a helpful skill. The kids were...amateurs, at best, totally unprepared and unskilled for a world of horror and violence. So, they were breaking them in gently, although they couldn't let them know.

"Hey, come on! Listen to Schwoz..." the heroine gently scolded the moody children, who slouched in their seats at the thought of another boring lesson. But, they respected Miss Danger, thinking she was kind and considerate, much more than her man-child of a husband, so they paid attention - sort of.

"My friend is on fire. I must run to pour water on his face!" Schwoz read aloud, following the crappy lie he'd invented on the screen. It was strange and unbelievable, but still, he smiled at the kids and directed them to repeat after him.

"My friend is on fire, and--I'm really the only one doing this?" Mika frowned, starting off strongly with her usual enthusiasm. Still, she quickly stopped when she realised her brother and friends weren't joining. She was the try-hard of the group, and whilst she could cope with Captain Man's weird lesson plans, the others certainly couldn't.

Chapa sighed, her face twisting into its signature scowl as she leaned forward on her elbows, directing her fury mainly at the bald weirdo teaching them nonsense. She wasn't mad at Mrs. Manchester since she was sweet and generous and gave them self-defence classes, but Schwoz? Yeah, he was just Ray's yes-man.

"As fun as it is to practice lying all day, it's not fun at all, and I hate it!" She spat, a momentarily sweet smile turning into a snarl.

"Hate is a very strong word..." Miles spoke up, straightening himself out after reclining in his chair with his feet on the desk. He looked at his friend across the way with a typically serene expression - he'd always been into all that zen shit, but even he couldn't stand this.

"And in this case... It's accurate."

"What they're trying to say is that Captain Man and Miss Danger bought this school to teach us how to be superheroes..." Mika explained diplomatically, trying not to tread on her teacher's toes, but she understood her friends' frustration. This shit was boring...

"But if all we do is--"

"Guys, I know that this isn't the most...stimulating of lessons," (y/n) started, holding her hands up in confession, but it was either this or sending them into the fray to get pummelled. And honestly, she couldn't think of how many lies she'd had to tell to keep their operation secret.

"But lying is a very important of being a superhero! We have to know how to protect our secret identities!"

"You know what, though, (y/n/n)? We didn't ask for these powers!" Chapa argued, sending her tutors into eye-rolls and groans because this story was getting old. They loved to complain about how they didn't choose this life or whatever - like Ray and his sweet girl had a choice about their powers, either

"Oh, here we go..." Schwoz groaned, knowing they were about to launch into a dramatic retelling of how Swellview's favourite heroes - and some new friends - saved the city from a terrible foe.

"Yeah, Schwoz built the weapon that blew up and gave 'em to us when Captain Man, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger fought Drex!" Miles chuckled as the handyman stood there, hands on his hips, looking unimpressed at their ridicule.

"Yeah, you were all--ayeeeee, there's a caveman on top of meeee!" Bose joked in a poor imitation of the small man, but still, it made his friends laugh. And (y/n), honestly - she couldn't help but giggle.

"Why is that funny? (y/n), stop laughing with them! A caveman really was on top of me!" Schwoz exclaimed exasperatedly, losing control over his classroom as his co-teacher smothered her laughter - poorly.

The more they laughed, the more riled up the kids were, ignoring his tittering to quiet down and resume the lesson; they just wanted to remember how awesome it was to be in the heat of battle when they gained the powers that got them here. Well, not Mika yet, but definitely for the others.

"And Mika was all..."

"Kid Danger needs help!" The girl exclaimed as she stood up dramatically, hands poised on her hips like any good superhero. God, all she needed was a fan blowing her hair and some epic music...

"And Captain Man and Miss Danger were like..."

"Just shoot us!" Chapa growled, re-enacting how the lovers wrestled to keep their archenemy in front of the Omega Weapon, even though it meant sacrificing their superpowers. Oh, well - they came back eventually.

"But Kid Danger said..."

"If I blast you, you won't be indestructible anymore! And you won't have your super-regeneration!" Miles exclaimed nobly, channelling every bit of the former sidekick's bravery into his words. It was almost enough to make (y/n) tear up, thinking about her babies and how far away they were...

"Neither will Drex. Now, shoot us, you quitter!" Chapa growled, perfectly imitating Ray and how he still held that grudge for Henry after he quit. He was such a drama queen, but the fight was epic, covering everyone in glory--except for Schwoz. And he was still salty about that - where was his superpower, huh?

"I hit a caveman on the head. I was helping..." he muttered bitterly as (y/n) patted his shoulder, knowing he helped in his own way.

"And then, Kid Danger was like..."

"Hold onto your hoses!" Mile's body shook as he pretended to fire the Omega Weapon, turning his voice robotic and powerful as the 'blast' hit his friends, making them flail their arms in the air. Too bad they didn't take drama classes...

"Explosion!" Bose shouted in a deep, drawn-out cry like they were all in slow motion. The kids fell into their seats or onto their desks, pretending they were unconscious like they were after the battle, and whilst (y/n) appreciated their reverence - after all, that was the night she gained her second superpower - she still liked to have order amongst her pupils.

"Yeah, guys. We were there. We know what happened..." she said dryly, folding her arms and waiting for them to sit up.

"And now, I can..." However, the boy carried on, lifting his head from his desk as he tried to remember his power. Poor guy had a good heart, but brainpower wasn't his strong point, leaving him clueless and helpless more times than (y/n) cared to remember.

"Wait, what's my superpower again?"

"You can move things with your mind..." Mika reminded him, her tone slow and gentle like she was talking to a toddler. Still, Bose looked confused, looking at his hands and wondering at their ability, which he swore was something else.

"I thought that was Chapa," he said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder to the unamused girl behind him.

"No, I can shoot lightning bolts from my hands!" She corrected him, having had a few mishaps in the first few weeks. She was getting better at using them - they all were - but kept zapping things unintentionally--like (y/n) 's third-favourite sweater.

"Sick. Then, what's Miles' power?" Bose asked - as if he hadn't been friends with everyone for a month or so.

"He can teleport anywhere in the world," (y/n) explained tiredly, feeling the exhaustion seeping into her bones again as she remembered how difficult it was to keep a lid on that power. The poor kid went from Germany to Singapore in one day, and it wasn't easy to get him home...

"Filthy. Then, what's your superpower?" The long-haired boy turned to Mika, whose face fell as she struggled to answer.

She didn't have one, and she looked to her kind-hearted teacher for guidance because all the others had their powers, but hers hadn't materialised yet. As the weeks passed, she grew increasingly worried, thinking there had to be a mistake, even though (y/n) assured her the Omega Weapon's energy touched her. She advised her to wait and see, but that was easier said than done when your best friends could control lightning and bend physics to their will.

"She doesn't have one!" Chapa and Miles exclaimed in unison, not in a mean way, but because they were fed up with telling the dimwitted boy.

"For some reason, my power hasn't shown up--yet!" Mika clarified, making Bose gasp dramatically and clamp his hands over his face. It wasn't that big of a deal, and when she looked her way, (y/n) gave the girl a reassuring smile - she had something in her; she just knew it.

"If we could just focus your attention on what--" Schwoz tried to say, hoping he could finish his lying lesson, but they were too far gone now. Once you lost Bose's attention, that was it - you didn't get it back.

"Are you scared you'll never get one?"

"Absolutely not!" Mika scoffed, rolled her eyes, and folded her arms, playing off the kid's question like it didn't bother her. Not even a little bit. She didn't care - who wants a superpower anyway? Ew.

"See guys? That's bad lying," Miles joked, poking fun at his twin because he knew how obsessive she could be, and not discovering her power was really getting to her. He just knew it--saw how touchy she was at home and how she did everything to try and find it.

"Actually, dear brother, I'm not scared. (y/n) says she thinks my power needs the right conditions to be activated. And when it does, I'll kick your butt!" his sister replied snappily, giving the boy a deathly stare for trying to knock her confidence. (y/n) was smart and Swellview's greatest superheroine--if anyone knew their science-hero stuff, it was her.

"Whoa, you guys are related?!" Bose gasped, glancing between the twins with shocked eyes, making everyone facepalm again. It was like he'd been living under a rock, yet everyone knew he hadn't. He was just slow...and very, very unobservant.

"I know I have a superpower! I'm sure it will show up eventu--" Mika tried to tell them, placing all her confidence in Miss Danger's judgement, but Schwoz had had enough.

He was tired of the chitchat, feeling like his authority was being undermined, and the worst thing? His wingwoman was joining in, making the handyman elbow her ribs and frown as he raised an air horn in the air and squeezed the button. It made a noise that, remarkably, sounded like someone shouting HEY!, silencing the chattering kids and almost deafening the woman beside him.

"Thanks, Schwoz. I didn't like this ear that much anyway..." (y/n) winced, laying her palm over her poor ear as it rang and ached. Chapa frowned at the move, her scowl deepening until her face was a red, angry crumple because that was her friend - the one person who didn't judge or push her away in fear.

"Never Hey!-horn a woman!" She barked, roughly pushing her seat back and standing up, scarlet sparks flying from her fingertips as her temper set her superpower off.

"Chapa, relax... (y/n) can handle herself," Mika said soothingly. She did not want another incident of someone's butt getting fried because the girl got overwrought, but her advice made it worse.

Chapa's glowing red eyes snapped to hers, full of rage and anguish as the world tried to dampen her spirit.

"Never tell me to relax! We've been here three weeks! We should be learning how to be superheroes, but instead, we're practising lies and getting the Hey!-horn!" She yelled, growing angrier and angrier until not even (y/n) could keep her calm.

She had a point; school had started just under a month ago, and they were still yet to go out on a mission. But, in their defence, Ray and (y/n) knew they weren't ready, preferring to keep them out of sight and danger until they could at least get their powers under control - or hell, even discover them.

"Hey, I'm already great at lying!" Bose countered, smirking at his friends with some unknown smugness.

"Watch!... I am so wearing pants right now."

"Bose, are you not wearing pants right now?" Miles asked in a disbelieving voice, trying to catch a glance of his friend under the table. Although, on second thoughts, that didn't sound like a good idea, given how serious he looked.

"Not important. But what is important is that I'm takin' Schwoz's Hey!-horn!" The boy giggled, brushing off Miles' question, even though it was genuine.

(y/n) frowned at his words, her amused expression falling when the kid reached out his tensed hand and pressed two fingers to his temple. With extreme concentration, he used his telekinesis to lift the air horn out of Schwoz's hand, far above where the genius could reach. It was a hilarious prank for them, sending the children into laughter when Schwoz tried to grab it, just to come down empty-handed.

"I'm not going to jump for it..." he said meekly, shoving his hands deep in his pockets to dissuade temptation, even as (y/n) stretched to get the can. Bose lifted it higher, meaning the can brushed her fingertips before soaring above her head, and if she couldn't reach it, Schwoz had no chance.

"I know you want me to jump for it, but I'm a man of science, and I'm not going to--"

"Just jump, Schwoz. We all know you want to..." (y/n) groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose as the kids laughed, bating the genius to jump. Temptation won out, and he began leaping, stretching, and grunting, trying in vain to catch the horn, only for it to float higher. Someone had been practising with his superpower...

"Ya' hate to see it..." Miles chuckled, finding that he and his friends loved to mess around with the tiny man, much to (y/n) 's chagrin. This was what they did when they were bored, and ever since Bose mastered moving small, light objects, they'd revelled in it, ignoring any and all discipline.

"Give me back my Hey!-horn!" Schwoz snapped, stamping his feet and squirming on the spot like an infuriated child, but Bose didn't listen. He was too in love with his newfound powers.

"Sure. Soon as you let us fight crime," Chapa proposed with an evil smirk, making (y/n) sigh and scrub her face with her open palm. It was getting harder and harder to lie to the kids, and she felt bad that they took their wrath on the poor guy, knowing that he wouldn't do anything, unlike her and Ray.

"It's not up to me! It's up to Captain Man and Miss Danger!" Schwoz argued, thinking their treatment was unfair too, and all eyes fell on (y/n).

She didn't break, knowing that children could smell fear, and if she let them walk all over her, all hell would break loose. She didn't let her old babies get away with shit, so her new ones definitely couldn't, even though she knew they wanted more than namby-pamby lectures.

"(y/n), let us go out and fight crime! Come on, you remember what it was like to be a new sidekick, right?" Chapa pleaded, even as far as to smile slightly before her friends joined in, all clamouring for the woman to help them get out and kick some ass. But she just shook her head and gave them a sympathetic smile, knowing that whilst she had the authority to assign missions, she didn't want to.

"Sorry, but I'd need to discuss that sort of thing with Captain Man, and he's not here, so..." she shrugged, believing avoidance was her best tactic, and technically, it wasn't a lie.

She didn't know where her doofus was, although she'd bet he was probably growing needy after being separated from her all morning--and she missed him. It had been too long without his kisses...

"Well, where is he?" Mika asked expectantly, assuming Miss Danger would know where her husband was, given that they'd been practically joined at the hip since they'd come off their honeymoon. It was disgustingly cute despite the kids' groans and vomiting noises.

"Yeah, Captain Man never spends this much time away from Mis--" Miles' pondering was interrupted as the legendary hero dropped from the ceiling, landing in an epic pose with his knee touching the floor and his hands clenched.

The man loved a dramatic entrance, especially in his new uniform - a significant improvement on his old Captain Man suit. He looked bulkier and broader and loved encouraging his wife to feel up his muscles as she studied the small changes - a few extra grey and yellow patterns here and there. Bose's concentration snapped, sending the air horn clattering to the floor as everyone marvelled at the hero's intimidating yet impressive aura.

"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" He immediately shouted, dashing around the room like a madman as he yelled at the kids, inspiring panic in them at his frantic tone. He wanted them to get to work, needing their snappy, organised, and coordinated response because panic caused chaos in an emergency. But, of course, their excitement got the better of them.

"Yes!"

"Let's go!"

"THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Get up to the Man's Nest! Get your uniforms on! GO, GO, GO!" He shouted, slapping his hands on Bose's desk as he sat there, wide-eyed and frozen, even as his friends scrambled to get ready. The shouting wasn't helping, the pressure making him sweat and his mind blank as Ray turned to the Macklin twins.

"It's crimefightin' time! For real!" (y/n) stood back with Schwoz, watching the chaotic scene unfold with a mildly amused face. It wasn't good that they panicked so severely, but at least she saw her doofus standing there, looking all handsome, as his gaze flickered from the floundering kids to her. God, that uniform...it was a good change.

"I finally get to hurt someone!" Chapa shrieked, a red current sparking through her fingers as she thought about electrocuting criminals - perfect for letting off steam. Her unbridled rage brought her joy, but the room turned to pure bedlam as she laughed manically.

Ray and (y/n) locked eyes, sharing a baffled expression as Bose lost all control and flipped his desk, sending pencils rolling across the floor. He also pushed his chair across the room, shouting in anguish as the couple sighed in despair. This was why they didn't want them to go on missions yet.

"Are you wearing a shirt for pants?!" Mika asked with a frown, staring at the boy's legs as he blindly ran around with a blue hoodie pulled up to his butt. Well, he wasn't lying earlier...

"YES!" He cried before running away, not knowing what to do. Even Miles had lost his chill, wrestling with (y/n) for her PearPad for some unknown reason as Bose shook Ray by the shoulders. Honestly, they'd designed the classroom to make it easier to get upstairs, but they were turning it into a farce.

"I do not know what to do! I have literally forgotten all of my training!"

"Get up to the Man's Nest! This is not a drill!" Ray barked again, shoving Bose off his chest to go and grab a pan and wooden spoon, banging it for extra effect. He didn't know why the message wasn't getting through to them, with only Mika keeping calm as she jumped into her chair.

"Hurry up, you guys!" She called to her fellow students, knowing they had to get upstairs to where their gum was stored. She slapped her hand on the armrest's button, zooming through the ceiling tubes to put on her uniform. Meanwhile, the others remained in chaos, mindlessly wandering the room.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Chapa growled, even though the girl was long gone. Still, it was enough to make her spark - lousy news for Miles and Bose as they charged into her from both sides, ending in a scarlet explosion that sent them to the floor when the electricity jumped to their bodies.

"Oh, you hate to see it..." Schwoz retorted, silently glad to see the boys groaning in pain since they'd made fun of him and stole his Hey!-horn earlier.

As (y/n) gave him a scolding stare, Mika dropped down from the ceiling, wearing her silver and black super-suit and mask. Finally, someone was ready to go, but her brother and friends had fallen behind, still panicking as she began to bark orders.

"Get to the Man's Nest! Hit the chairs--let's go upstairs! Up to The Nest, then make the arrest! Everyone, get seated so bad guys can get yeeted!"

"I'll teleport there," Miles bragged as he slowly rose from the floor, holding his aching stomach after taking Chapa's lightning. At this point, Ray had dashed over to his sweet girl and handyman, welcoming her into his arms as she smiled warmly - her love brightened his mood, lessening the irritation from the disorder.

"Miles, are you sure that's a good idea? You can't control--" (y/n) tried to stop the boy, recalling the last time he tried to use his power and how difficult it was to get him back. However, she was too late, slumping into Ray's embrace again as the boy disappeared to God knows where in a flash of golden light.

"Sweet cheese..." the heroine sighed, resting her cheek against her husband's pec as his arms curled around her tighter, understanding her frustration. As he soothingly stroked her back, Chapa and Bose made it into their chairs, pushing the buttons and disappearing into the hideout, leaving Mika with the adults.

Well, that was an ordeal.

"This is not a drill!" Ray stomped over and growled at the girl as she retook her seat - a pretty poor move since she was already in her uniform and ready to go on his mission.

"I was ready first!" She shouted back before zooming upstairs, where the chaos undoubtedly continued in the couple's home. They knew they were inexperienced, but dear God, neither expected it to go that badly, wondering where they went wrong with such a simple routine.

"Hey, doofus..." Still, the silence was golden, allowing (y/n) to sidle up to her lover as he sighed, utterly exhausted after the brief exercise.

But he relaxed when she slipped her hands up his chest, pulling him into a much-needed kiss after a couple of hours apart - it was their way of reuniting. He hummed at her honey-like taste, squeezing her hips as she ran her fingers through the cropped hair at the nape of his neck, loving how sexy Captain Man looked in his new suit.

"Missed you, sweet girl..." Ray whispered, pecking his beautiful wife's lips again as she stroked his smooth cheeks. Two hours apart was too long and had been ever since their honeymoon spoiled them with three weeks alone in paradise.

Schwoz rolled his eyes, knowing they'd been worse since they returned home, but he couldn't blame them for being utterly in love - he was the one who married them.

"It's just a drill, isn't it?" (y/n) questioned knowingly, aware that her husband didn't want the kids in danger yet. Still, his sneaky plan made her smile, and when she did, he did, too, grinning from ear to ear as he confessed.

"Yeah..." he chuckled breathlessly, finding a smidge of fun in making the team panic, but it was also very telling. They weren't even close to being ready for bad guys yet, something the heroine reiterated as she followed her doofus into the back room. As much as she wanted to stand in his arms all day, they had younglings to teach, especially if they ran rampant in the Nest.

It's where they'd built a new tube pad - a huge one, enough to comfortably send a group of people around the Man's Nest at once. Plus, it gave them a perfect little hidey-hole to kiss and explore without young eyes around to see something scarring, often making Schwoz take the stairs.

"Doofus, that was a disaster..." (y/n) groaned, pulling the gumballs from her back pocket as she stepped into the tube with her lover, standing unnecessarily close after so many years in the old, narrow ones.

She popped one into her mouth as Ray sighed, his hands on her hips again as they waited for the suction to send them upwards. He didn't need his pretty girl to tell him that; he knew that the kids weren't ready, but as she'd found, it was getting harder and harder to keep them in SWAG when they were so desperate to see some action.

"I know, darlin'. And they're still not ready..." he sighed, knowing Chapa and Bose were probably still in their civilian clothes with Mika shouting at them and Miles in some far-off land. His wife offered him a tired but sweet smile as she chewed and blew a bubble, her new uniform materialising on her body in a burst of bright colours.

In a split-second, before they went upstairs, Ray took a moment to admire her figure, raking his eyes over the new design and how it complimented her so well. She was officially his new senior sidekick and, as such, deserved a new look, complete with an updated two-colour skirt, bodice, and other minor details to compliment his suit. And fuck - she looked hot.

"Pick your tongue up, doof." A soft voice broke him out of his daydream, and his gaze snapped up to her amused eyes as they crinkled with laughter. Caught red-handed.

"Can't blame a guy for admiring his wife, sweet girl, especially when she's so freakin' hot--" he grinned cheekily, and (y/n) didn't get a chance to reply when his arms tightened around her body as they blasted off.

Upstairs, in the Man's Nest, the couple were joined by Schwoz and found another chaotic scene as they'd predicted. Chapa and Bose were on their knees, nails scraping against the floor to try and scoop up millions of gumballs they'd accidentally dropped, even though they'd mixed together. Miles was with his sister, looking particularly grumpy after teleporting into a bird's nest, which left doo-doo and feathers stuck to his clothes and hair.

"Oh, dear God..." (y/n) groaned, wondering if there was any point in putting on her uniform when they were all in such disarray. She and her doofus shared an irked look with Schwoz as they descended the stairs, knowing they might as well get comfy.

At least the woman could admire her new home; even after a few weeks of living there, she still wasn't used to it.

There were a few familiar comforts like the tube and crescent-shaped couch in the centre of the spacious marble floor. Everything glowed and buzzed like in the Man Cave, and the sounds of computers whirring and alarms beeping soothed her longing for the old days, making up for the lack of an auto-snacker and sprocket.

New features included the chair station where the kids kept their gum and personal belongings, a smaller computer for general hero work, a front that anyone could walk through, and a side door that led to the many rooms in the hideout's bowels. She knew the route to her bedroom and the bathroom, but that was it - the place was a maze of corridors and hidden spaces.

But the best thing had to be the view. She always complained about living underground, going days without breaching the surface because her work kept her busy - who needed sunlight?

Ray heard her grumbles and solved them--anything to keep his wife happy--so he purchased the highest home in Swellview - on top of Mount Swellview. She could see the entire city: trees, sky and sun, and it was a welcome change.

"Miles found more gum!" Bose's shout broke her from the daydream, her gaze landing on the boys as the brunet charged at his friend to wrench the small tin from his hand. They'd explained that everyone's gum was unique, coded to each hero's uniform, but he didn't care - Bose saw what he needed and scrambled.

"What? No! That's my gum!" Miles screeched, wrestling to keep hold of his gumballs, going as far as to fall to the floor, not that it did him any good.

The container hit the tiles, sending another million balls across the floor - yellow mixing with red and blue until the three out-of-uniform kids couldn't tell the difference.

As they argued about whose fault it was, Ray, (y/n), and Schwoz sat on the couch, appreciating its familiar half-moon shape. They quickly got comfy, ignoring the chaos around them as they waited for the tweens to get organised eventually.

The hero curled an arm around his sweet girl, pulling her into his side as she smiled, her head resting on his shoulder. He even had a tub of nuts to nibble on, fully prepared to relax.

"When'd you build this place?" The man asked his handyman, fighting a smug smirk as his wife pecked his cheek--just because she enjoyed the feel of his skin on her lips.

"Last year," Schwoz replied, having had the spare hideout under wraps until needed. He'd built everything the Man Cave lacked in the new building, taking extra care to soundproof some particular rooms and claim his bedroom far away from them.

As they chatted, Bose brushed past the back of the couch, reaching over to pinch one of Captain Man's nuts as Mika and Chapa chased after him. Still not ready.

"I was going to give it to you both for your anniversary!"

"Aw, Schwozie. That's so sweet!" (y/n) cooed, her heart melting at the genius' generosity and how he gave it to them early, given that they found themselves unexpectedly married and homeless. She beamed at her husband, leaning up to peck his lips out of pure joy, almost forgetting the screaming children running around her.

Ten minutes later, and they'd made some progress - Bose was finally dressed. However, as always with the boy, they'd gone one step forward and two steps back, mostly because he was wearing Mika's silver suit. He thought he looked great, ignorant of the brawl between Chapa and Miles as he admired the slim-fit style.

"How did my gum get mixed in with yours?!" The dark-haired girl asked as the couple on the couch face-palmed.

"No idea, but it's my costume now! I have the power to do nothing!" Bose exclaimed with his hands on his hips, infuriating Mika. She didn't appreciate the ridicule, chasing after the boy when he fled her fury.

Still not ready.

"Hey, can everybody see this place?" Ray asked another fifteen minutes later as he, his beloved wife, and Schwoz stood before the vast window to admire the mountain view.

After waiting at least half an hour for the children, they'd stood up to stretch their legs, and that's when it hit him - maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have his headquarters plastered on top of a mountain where anyone could see it. That's why they lived underground before.

"Yes..." Schwoz nodded, wondering where he was going with this. He was good, but he couldn't make an entire building invisible. That was far too complicated.

"Well, what happens if bad guys come?"

"We'll defeat them, doofus. I mean, come on! You're Captain Man!" (y/n) giggled, squeezing his thick bicep for added effect because she knew that her heroic husband could and would take on any asshole who tried to invade their home. She'd help him, of course, but she only inflated his ego, feeling up his arm as he blushed.

"Aw... You're so sweet, sweet girl..." Ray cooed as she'd done earlier, a burning sense of masculine pride filling him at the knowledge that his sweet girl thought he was big, brave, and strong.

His fingers pinched her chin as he gave her her reward - a gentle kiss for being so perfect, meaning they didn't see the bouncing children around them. Still not ready.

Another twenty minutes passed, and the kids finally lined up in front of their tube chairs. Mika waited for her friends to blow their bubbles, eventually corralling them into chewing the correct gum whilst Captain Man and his wife sprawled on the couch. She didn't even want to know where that man had put his hands...

They were in uniform, ready and willing to kick some criminal butt. At last, Chapa was in red, Bose in blue, Miles in yellow, and Mika still in silver, completing the quartet of young sidekicks as they grinned and congratulated themselves. Obviously, they didn't see the unimpressed adults to their right...

"This was just a drill..." Ray told them slowly in a tired voice, fully expecting their shouts and complaints after making them panic. They snarled and glared, shouting about how he wasn't cool, a jerk, how he had some nerve, yadda-yadda-yadda. He didn't care, glancing at his sweet girl's PearPhone as she checked the time.

"And it took you...an hour and a half!" He told them sharply, pointing at her phone with a mildly disappointed face. Even (y/n) couldn't hide her dissatisfaction, having witnessed some utterly brutish and animalistic behaviour from the kids, and whilst she was fond of them, she wouldn't shy away from a much-needed telling-off.

"Okay, who burned the couch?! Huh? Fess up! Don't think I won't find out!" She threatened, angrily pointing to her beloved couch table - the one thing that genuinely reminded her of their old home. Well, not now; it was full of goddamn smouldering holes after someone's temper got the better of her.

"...Bose did it," Chapa lied, hiding her sparkling hands behind her back as the vacant boy stood silently. Of course, (y/n) wasn't an idiot, giving her a grave, deathly stare as she folded her arms, clearly seeing the actual culprit, despite being rather fond of the misunderstood girl.

Maybe she was getting old and broody, but honestly, it wasn't the fact that she'd ruined that couch that bothered her so much but the lies. The seats could be replaced or repaired, but she hated liars, making her shake her head disappointedly at the bashful girl, feeling more and more like a parent every day.

Good God...she was normal four kids ago, and now she was going grey.

~A while later~

It was fair to say that Ray's exercise was a complete flop. After all that effort, he stood the team down, ignoring the chorus of groans as the kids changed out of their uniforms again.

They knew he wouldn't let them go out, having grown used to getting their hopes up just to be disallowed from seeking out danger. It sucked, but they had no choice but to follow the boss' orders, gathering on the singed couch on Ray's command whilst he and (y/n) changed back into their regular clothes too.

The couple were clearly disappointed, sighing and shaking their heads as they prepared to review the drill. Although they hid it particularly well, fawning over each other with kisses, cuddles, and cooing over their matching gold rings, something they still weren't used to seeing.

The kids could puke, but they held in any ridicule since they were amid a telling-off. And Ray wouldn't let them off lightly.

"Aaaaaand...bam!" Ray laughed as he stood before the group, highly amused by the video he kept playing of Miles and Bose bumping into Chapa, causing her electricity to explode. He found it hilarious, chuckling despite their sad faces, rubbing up against his precious girl as she snacked on his cheese puffs.

"Again, 'cause it's funny...Bam!" he smiled, replaying the moment of the explosion on the giant holographic screen before laughing heartily - again and again and again.

"All right, last time, I swear--bam! Just kidding! I lied--bam!"

"I'm sick of watching this film!" Chapa growled, standing on the couch she'd burnt with her teeth bared and fingers zapping, threatening to cause more damage. She wasn't one to be mocked, especially by some hot-shot guy who thought he was better just because he was some superhero...okay, maybe he was a bit better.

"Captain, can we please go out and fight real crime?" Mika asked politely, trying to use her brightest smile and fluttering eyelashes to appeal to the man's heart. Given the glinting band on his left hand and the soft glances he kept shooting the pretty lady beside him, he had to have one.

"I know we look bad in here, but out in the real world, we'd be great! I just know it! Please, (y/n/n)? Pretty please?"

"Uh, well..." (y/n) gulped, hating how she had to lie to her face, but it had to be done. They were painfully unprepared for how severe and terrifying evil criminals could be, so she avoided their hopeful eyes, staring at her doofus instead.

Goddamn, he looked so good in that tight t-shirt, almost making her drool as one muscular arm wrapped around her shoulders, reminding her of their strength.

"--Well, we'd love to let you guys come along on a crime run, but the truth is...there's a crime drought," Ray said in her stead, quickly smoothing things over with a little white lie. It wasn't a very good one, and the kids didn't look very convinced, but he went with it.

"There is no such thing as a crime drought," Miles argued, looking at the lovey-dovey couple sceptically as the hero fed his wife a cheese puff, giggling when his cheese-dust-covered fingertip caught her lip.

"Is too!" (y/n) countered with her mouth full, playing along with her lover's lie for safety reasons. She didn't like it, but at least they'd be safe; what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Ooh, she's got you there," Bose murmured to his friend, making Miles sigh. He wouldn't even try to reason with the dimwit.

"Look. This town's had some tasty crime waves in the past, but Miss Danger, Kid Danger, and I shredded the gnar and put all the criminals back in prison..." Ray told them, changing the humiliating video to an image of Henry in his old uniform.

He and (y/n) smiled sadly, their hearts clenching at the sight of their old friend and his bright smile. Dystopia had never felt so far away...

"My baby..."

"Miss ya, kid," they sniffed, blinking back tears as they huddled together, trying to remember the happier times and that the boy was now a young man, doing his own thing. There was no time to dwell on it; having made their peace with his decision, they quickly moved on, leaning on each other for support like always.

"Anyray," the man cleared his throat, earning a quick glance from his sweet girl because she hated when he did that silly name thing.

"We're in a crime drought, so...nobody's doing nothing."

"Ray! (y/n)!" A loud shout came behind them, making the couple jump as the children frowned. They never got to do anything fun. Upon turning around, they realised that Schwoz, the annoying weirdo he was, was the one who'd scared the heebie-jeebies out of them after connecting to the screen via video chat, making (y/n) jump into her husband's chest for safety.

"Sweet cheese, Schwoz!" She whimpered, clutching at her pounding heart, although Ray wasn't complaining. He didn't like to see her spooked, but damn, he didn't mind her rubbing up against him like that...

"I've been texting you both for ten minutes! Face your phones!" The genius instructed them, and when they pulled the cells from their pockets, the spouses realised he was right. (y/n) flicked through an onslaught of furious texts, all from Science Coconut 🥥 🧪, and she realised that Captain Man and Miss Danger were needed.

"Oopsie-Raysie..." her doofus did the same, hurriedly reading the message about some half-assed emergency that didn't sound too bad, but heroic assistance had been requested. He also had one from Sweet Girl ❤️💍 , telling him to have a good day before classes started. Aw...

"I miss one text on a weekend, and you threaten to fire me, but I guess it's okay for you and your wife to--"

"We gotta go!" Ray announced, ignoring the incessant tirade from the genius on the screen as his pretty girl tucked her phone away and tugged on his huge bicep, urging him to get moving. But they wouldn't get away that easily; as soon as he turned to follow his wife like a puppy, the kids were on their toes, interrogating with suspicious squints.

"Where are you going?" Mika asked, standing dangerously close to her teachers as Ray bumped against his lover, abs pushing against her back whilst the girl tried to catch a glimpse of his texts.

"Is it an emergency? Can we come?!" Chapa gasped, her eyes sparkling at the thought of tagging along. She couldn't wait for their first mission, but one look at the speechless heroes and she had a sinking feeling.

It was undeniably suspicious how Ray peeked over his shoulder, looking at Schwoz for support as he brainstormed a suitable lie, but he wasn't very convincing. (y/n) smiled nervously, feeling her tummy tingling when she heard the genius sigh because he knew what a tangled web they were weaving.

"Nah, it's not an emergency at all. Right, sweet girl?"

"Nope--no emergencies here. Not even a predicament or other bothersome problem..." she rambled, trying to remain as her doofus squeezed her shoulder, itching to get out from under their scrutinising stares.

"Then, where are you going?" Miles asked, noticing how they squirmed. They weren't very subtle for people who'd survived with their secrets for so long.

"Uh...our friend is on fire, and we--"

"--Not that one, Raymond--" (y/n) choked out, hiding her words in a swiftly executed cough as her doofus tried to use Schwoz's teachable lie. She saw their frowns, nerves flaring as their students grew more distrustful, knowing something was up.

"No? Okay--uh..." the hero recovered, smiling through his little fuck-up and casually pulling his wife closer, even as Mika judged him - very closely.

"Oh... We gotta take my aunt to the cleaners!"

"Why?" The girl asked, stepping closer to the nervous couple to try and make them spill, but luckily, Schwoz had their backs, thinking on the spot when they floundered.

"Because...she's very large."

"Yes!--I mean, yeah, yeah, huge. Very big lady--think human whale. Loves cheese. Very smelly. We need to clean her in a car wash, so...yeah," (y/n) nodded as Ray slowly guided her toward the metal door, knowing they could escape to their bedroom, get ready, and leave from there. The men agreed with her, nodding slightly too vigorously to be believable, but they rolled with it, even as the kids scoffed.

"What?"

"Yep! My incredibly hot wife is correct. Car wash. Only way my aunt can get a real deep cleaning--and she is due!" Ray chuckled as he backed into the doorway, verging on bolting down the corridor to safety. It had been four entire minutes since he kissed his sweet girl, and she looked so pretty...

"Can we come? We'll call it a practice mission," Mika suggested, thinking that cleaning an immensely fat lady didn't sound too terrifying or perilous, even though the man was clearly spouting BS.

"Oh, well, we'd love to let you come with us, but she's very shy--really, very, very shy! And the whole process is honestly disgusting, so--byeeeee!" The heroine laughed anxiously, crouching lower and lower with her doofus as the door slowly rolled down.

She couldn't stop word-vomiting until the children disappeared from view. Finally, the couple could breathe a sigh of relief. That had to be the worst lie in history, and she had no idea how they'd kept it rolling, draining her energy before they'd even stepped out of the door.

"God, doofus...We're such bad people--lying to children! This is what we're reduced to!" She exclaimed, rubbing her eyes as Ray softly kissed her forehead before tugging her down the hallway. They had to move quickly, but he wanted her safe and happy first - deeming his beloved wife more important than anything or anyone.

"It's lies or watching them get pulverised. They're not ready..." the man sighed, equally frustrated because he had four mini sidekicks ready. Still, they were dangerous to themselves and others with their touch-and-go powers, so he couldn't introduce the world to Danger Force.

"I know...I just...don't like the lies, Raymond."

"Let's just get through this mission, precious girl. We'll work it out when we get back..." he soothed her, knowing his wife was too sweet to lie all day and night.

She could slip out the odd fib to hide her identity, but this was too much. The bigger the lie became, the deeper the hole they dug, and she had no idea how they would get out.

But he was right, and she focused on the task ahead - something about a goat? Only in Swellview...

~Swellview Zoo ~

Some people had bizarre habits, which (y/n) found out once she and Captain Man arrived on-scene at their latest emergency.

They immediately spotted the problem: two low lives trying to steal a goat. She wasn't entirely sure what they would do with the poor thing. Still, the couple didn't wait to find out, swiftly apprehending the scumbags before they could commit some heinous goat-related crime.

After checking that the coast was clear, they quickly knocked them down and tied them up, thankful for the cover of night that hid their daring rescue. The animal was fine, munching away on a bush and other foliage, but that's not what the heroes were worried about.

Ray kept looking over his shoulder, not expecting a horde of knife-wielding maniacs but a stampede of angry children. Namely, Danger Force, who he swore would flip their shit if they knew they were being two-timed.

They needed to dispose of the goat-nappers and be on their way, hopefully before anyone saw them. One picture of Captain Man and Miss Danger fighting crime online and the secret would be out - that the city still needed heroes, just ones that weren't liabilities.

"Oh, quit whining. It's not that tight..." (y/n) scoffed at the sour-looking men as she tautened the neon chord she and her doofus lashed them back to back. They kept whinging and complaining about how they couldn't breathe, but she didn't care for goat abductors and ignored their grumbles.

"Hey, you single, pretty lady?" The dark-haired one in a flat cap asked, suggestively waggling his eyebrows at the heroine, who only wanted to do her job. She noticed how his eyes trailed down her slim-fitting bodice, lingering on her more...feminine features, and it was enough to make Ray curl his fists and grit his teeth.

"No, she's not," he hissed, pulling the strap tighter, and he didn't care if it dug into their flabby stomachs. Everyone knew that Miss Danger was taken, rumours swirling in the gossip columns that she'd finally tied the knot with Captain Man, so they didn't stand a chance against her beloved doofus. He knew they were just trying to get under his skin - it was working - but he couldn't help but snarl. He hated how they leered at his sweet girl.

"Why'd you guys steal a goat, anyway?" He asked gruffly, trying to distract their attention from the beauty beside him.

"This isn't just any old goat," said the ginger, greasy guy behind the flirtier, his sneer running down the hero's back like water. He could snarl all he wanted - the jig was up, and he was going to jail.

"This goat can say, butt!"

"It's worth millions!" His sweaty, chubby friend added, although the couple couldn't quite believe it. They looked dumb, but really? A talking animal?

"Goats can't say butt."

"Yeah, I smell bullshit, and it's not the goat," Ray and (y/n) argued scornfully, thinking they were stupid, more run-of-the-mill criminals with only one brain cell between them. However, as the hero stuck his nose up in the air and scoffed, something weird happened...

"Butt!" The goat bleated gruffly, and strangely, it sounded like it was talking. (y/n) assumed it was just a fluke--a coincidence--that the animal vaguely baaed like a person. However, she supposed it was a neat trick, perhaps not worth millions, but still kind of cool. And no one was more impressed than Ray, who loved cons like talking animals and making his precious wife facepalm when his scepticism fell flat.

"Okay, that thing should be president!" He exclaimed, but their captives were tired of all the chitchat. They admitted it; they'd tried to steal the goat - just punish them.

"Just take us to jail, okay?!" The redhead requested sharply, thinking a punishment was inevitable, but Captain Man had a predicament. Booking people in jail left a record, and he couldn't let anyone know that he and his sweet girl had been out fighting crime.

"No can do. Gonna have to zap you unconscious and drag your sad, limp bodies into the woods..." Ray sighed, especially when his wife shot him an alarmed look, mainly because that sounded slightly more extreme than she had planned. All this just to not get caught...

"Why? We're not putting up a fight!"

"Eh...been lying to some kids. Told 'em there was a crime drought. If they find out the truth, they're gonna want to come with us to fight crime, and it's gonna be a whole thing--" he shrugged, relaxing against the stone wall and wrapping an arm around his sweet girl.

She wasn't too sure why he was telling the whole story to their enemies, but she rolled with it. He was nice to lean against - robust and muscular body supporting her frame as she looped her arms around his lithe waist. It showed the scummy men she loved him, making Ray smirk victoriously when he pecked her forehead, and they lowered their gazes.

It was all going swimmingly, and the duo thought they had everything under control...until someone crept up behind them, swearing that they'd seen the heroes skulking outside the zoo at midnight like some common delinquents.

"Captain Man? Miss Danger?" A man asked confusedly, and the confident smiles fell from the couple's faces. They jumped out of each other's arms and away from the wall, wondering how someone could've snuck up on them. They knew that voice...and it didn't bode well.

Like something out of their worst nightmares, the entire KLVY news crew stood before them in a flash. From the sound recordists to the cameraman to Trent Overrunder and Mary Gaperman, everyone gathered around to see what the superheroes were doing at such a late hour. Before they knew what was happening, it was an informal, impromptu interview, and they didn't know what to say or how to explain their actions.

"What are you doing?" Trent asked, smirking slightly at the couple as they stood there like a pair of lemons, pale and perplexed with babbling mouths that made no sounds. (y/n) could see it now...heroes caught lying to children. Scandal. Fire. Explosions. Death.

"What...what are you doing, Trent? Hmmm?" She fired back, placing her hands on her hips to try and be obstreperous and difficult, avoiding the question at all costs.

"It's news team trivia night!" Mary replied brightly, giving them her usual beaming yet mindless smile as she poked out from behind her wittier colleague. (y/n) liked Mary, thinking she meant well and was very sweet, much nicer than Trent and his snarky comments, even if she was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

"We meet other news teams at a pub and play trivia games against each other," Brian "The Fender" Bender explained in a newsy voice, even though it was self-explanatory. He winked subtly at Miss Danger, having always had a thing for the pretty heroine, yet that moronic partner of hers always stood in his way.

"I get to colour on the back of my menu!" Mary exclaimed happily with a cheesy grin as (y/n) ignored Brian's advances, thinking he was too polished and slick for her liking. She'd always preferred doofuses...

"Hey, is that the goat that says, butt?!" The reporter suddenly asked, tearing his gaze away from the eye candy to gawp at the mystical animal. Being a highly skilled journalist, he knew a scoop when he saw one, making his teammates gasp and stare.

"No, no, no, no, no--" Ray tried to say, furiously shaking his head with his sweet girl, but it was in vain. The goat had uncanny timing, seemingly saying its infamous word on cue and right when they wanted it to shut its poxy mouth.

"Buuuutt!"

"Holy goats, it is! Daner, give me a two-shot! Keep it loose--Hirsch can always blow it up in post!" Trent gasped and swiftly jumped into action, taking his place beside Ray while Brian sidled up to Miss Danger. Like a well-oiled machine, the news team snapped to it, taking their positions in a routine they knew like the back of their hands, ready to show the world what their beloved heroes had rescued.

As the camera focused, Ray and (y/n) looked at each other with panicked expressions, knowing that once they started rolling, the whole world, including the kids in the Man's Nest, would know what they'd been doing. And then, they'd never hear the end of it, and the large man hated how that schmuck cuddled up to his wife.

"We're going live, people!"

"Uh, Captain Man, we need to do something!" (y/n) hissed worriedly, squeezing her doofus' bicep whilst trying to lean away from The Fender and his potent aftershave. The guy smelt like one of those trees that hung from a rear-view mirror but a million times stronger.

What else was Ray meant to do? He had a split-second to think and decided he had no choice but to whip out his laser remote and zap the reporters. They fell like dominoes when the green beam blasted them. He took extreme pleasure in watching Brian hitting the ground after Trent, swiftly followed by the cameraman, killing the live feed before anything could be broadcast across the city. However, the hero didn't stop there.

She didn't necessarily agree with his methods, but (y/n) knew they were too deep now, so she followed her husband's lead, pulling out her remote to start zapping. Spinning on her heel, she took out the witnesses, lasering the goat thieves into unconsciousness whilst Ray d with the others - perhaps getting a little trigger-happy.

"My turn!" Mary, poor vacant Mary, squealed excitedly once he'd shot the mic girl and another cameraman. It wasn't the sort of thing anyone else would look forward to, and Ray almost felt sorry for her when the green plasma hit her in the chest. Almost.

"We are so going to hell..." (y/n) panted once it was all over, feeling like someone from a horror movie as she stood above all the sleeping bodies. They looked peaceful, and she knew that they weren't actually dead or injured, but still. It felt creepy, and she couldn't believe they were going to such lengths to keep a lie alive.

"It's fine, sweet girl..." Ray soothed her, equally winded after zapping so many people, but he didn't think it was so bad.

"We'll take these guys to the woods or whatever. They'll wake up after we're long gone, and no one will remember we were here. Look around, darlin'! I think we got away with that one."

Famous last words.

"Apúrense, por fin vamos a ganar a KLVY..."

"Doofus, someone's coming!" (y/n) whispered in horror as she heard the dulcet tones of a Spanish-speaking man approaching.

They couldn't catch a break, watching in horror as another news team rounded the corner, only this time, it was the people for the Latin channel. After having their asses kicked by KLVY, they were doing the walk of shame home as losers but still tried to think of ideas to win next time. Laughing amongst themselves, the reporters and crew didn't notice the frozen heroes shaking like leaves, surrounded by seemingly corpses, until it was too late to run.

"Captain Man? Miss Danger?" Hector Managua frowned, tilting his head in confusion as he took in the bizarre sight they made, looking like goddamn serial killers. He was like the Hispanic Trent Overrunder, clutching a microphone as his coworkers stared at their trivia rivals, wondering what the hell had happened.

"¡Qué onda!" Ray squeaked awkwardly, not knowing what to say other than warmly greeting them. He tried to look innocent, rubbing elbows with his sweet girl since no one would ever suspect her of any wrongdoing, not when she gave them a bright, if watery, smile like that.

"Hey, ¿ese es el chivo que dice, butt?!" Hector asked in shock, pointing his mic at the goat, which he easily recognised, even as it just stood there, chewing away at nothing.

"¡Por supuesto que no, estúpido! ¡Deja de hacer preguntas tontas! Dios mío..." (y/n) snapped haughtily, fed up with the day's stresses, and even though it wasn't in her nature, she didn't think twice about pointing her laser at the poor guy and firing. He went down like a sack of potatoes, hitting the ground with a thud before he could ask what else they were doing, and Ray quickly copied her.

Another five bodies fell, leaving the zoo's entrance looking like a silent protest or even something more sinister, but the couple ignored their dubious choices. They needed to get out of there fast, so after breathing a quick sigh of relief, they dashed over to the goat - the last witness to their misdeeds.

"Not one word about any of this!" Ray ordered the animal sharply before using an orange laser to cut its tether loose. (y/n) smiled at his silliness and patted the goat goodbye, thinking her lover was crazy for talking to the creature like it would say something back. Still, it was endearing, especially when it bleated in response.

"Buuuuuutt!"

"No buts!" He yelled after it as it walked off, probably searching for something strange to eat. Despite his childishness and madness, his sweet girl laughed and shook her head, knowing she wouldn't change him for the world.

"Aw...it was kinda cute," she pondered, smiling up at her husband with fluttering eyelashes as he took her hand, intent on fleeing the scene before someone else came along to photograph their crimes.

"We're not getting a goat, sweet girl..." the man told her gently but firmly, seeing through his wife's loving gaze to see her subtle ulterior motive. He heard the tentativeness in her voice and knew that she was angling for another pet, especially as she oo'ed and aw'ed when she petted the smelly thing.

He'd do anything to keep her happy but drew the line at goats. That thing would shit out the Man's Nest in two weeks, and he had enough with the rabbit.

"But Colin gets lonely!"

"I think he'd prefer an animal not fifty times his size..." he replied dryly to her whine, more focused on navigating the sea of bodies than her pleas. As much as Ray wanted to, he knew he couldn't accidentally-on-purpose step on Brian's face. So, he carefully ambled over the reporter's body, zipping through chaos swiftly and silently whilst (y/n)'s brain worked over time.

Technically, he said that Colin would like another smaller buddy. To her ears, that sounded a lot like permission to get another rabbit--and she'd been asking for one for years. Once she'd cleared Mary's body, she squeezed his arm tightly, practically buzzing as she hung off his body and squealed.

"Does that mean we can get another bunny?!"

"No!" Oh, well. It was worth a shot.

~The next day~

Classes resumed the following morning, and Ray and (y/n) swore they'd gotten away with the minor incident at the zoo.

The kids arrived bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for another fun day of learning, seemingly unsuspecting and definitely not suspicious, and why would they be? Thankfully, nothing untoward aired on the news on all the breakfast shows. Trent and Mary looked worse for wear, but no one mentioned anything. And it gave the couple enough confidence to teach without too many nerves.

Once everyone sat down, the lecture began. Captain Man and Miss Danger took teaching duties together to show Danger Force some videos of their old fights, which wasn't necessarily the best plan, and (y/n) wasn't sure what the kids could learn from them. Still, it was nice to reflect on their victories.

Her doofus looked particularly handsome, wearing one of his signature loud shirts that emphasised his biceps and gave him a boyish air. He looked so good that she hung off every word he said, even if it was complete rubbish, rubbing against his elbows as the kids vaguely listened.

"--And even though we were on top of a moving train, I still saved the day...because I'm Captain Man. The end," Ray grinned, concluding his epic retelling of the time when he and his sidekicks defeated a plethora of supervillains before saving Swellview.

He was so in awe of himself that he didn't see the many eye rolls from his sweet girl, who knew that his story wasn't entirely true.

That was when they bumped into Phoebe Thunderman in Junk-N-Stuff, and if her memory was correct, (y/n) remembered that she, Henry, and the budding heroine had to save Captain Man before he was killed. It was so long ago before they'd even started dating. However, she recalled her panic after thinking she'd lost her love forever.

"You were encased in concrete most of the time," Miles commented dryly after watching the video and hearing his glorified narration. He'd found some plot holes in the man's story--like how The Toddler and Doctor Minyak had trapped him in a stone cube, forcing others to come to save him.

"Mmmm...still saved the day. The end," the man insisted, his ego bolstered by the sweet girl happily squishing his chunky arm. It should've been illegal to look that hot...

"It sounds like Henry, Charlotte, (y/n), and the Thunderman kids did most of the saving," Chapa argued, much to her teacher's annoyance. It was her fault that she was brutally honest, but she had a lot to learn about managing the man-child's ego.

"It sounds like you don't know what the end means."

"Raymond...Stop being mean," (y/n) told her husband sternly, ceasing fondling his muscles to thwack his arm. Ray pouted and sniffled, giving her those infamous puppy-dog eyes because he didn't like being on her bad side, even though he knew not to sink to the children's level.

She kept saying he had to be mature - a role model - but it was so damn difficult when the little ones kept sassing him.

"But sweet girl..."

"No buts!" The woman scolded him, sternly sticking her pointer finger under his nose to show that she meant business. Her glare worked, and he looked remorseful, but it was a mistake to use her left hand - the one that brought her pretty rings into the man's eyesight. Once the diamonds caught his attention, Ray melted, nudging his head forward to kiss her fingertip despite the telling-off.

How was she supposed to stay mad when he did cute things like that?

"We saved you, doofus. Don't you remember the helicopter ride after? God, I wanted to kiss you so bad..." she sighed dreamily as the pupils - save for Mika - wrinkled their noses. The girl thought their love was rather sweet, and she was a huge shipper, hoping to hear more about how their love came to be if her companions didn't chunk up the walls.

Ray grinned and nodded, knowing that during that flight, after all the fighting was done, he felt the same way. With his sweet girl strapped to his chest, he remembered wanting to confess everything he'd ever felt and more, stealing chastely affectionate kisses and soft touches where he could. Still, they stayed silent, enjoying the closeness while it lasted. Look at them now...

But the memory didn't last. As the lovers embraced, pressing every point of their bodies together and nuzzling into warm crannies, Ray's phone began to ring, harshly vibrating against (y/n) 's thigh through her doofus' pocket.

"Wazzzzzup?!" He answered obnoxiously, and instantly, (y/n) knew who'd phoned. It was Schwoz; he and Ray loved doing that stupid, nostalgic greeting, sticking their tongues out and everything just to be authentic. But she knew that if the genius was calling, it had to be crime-related; otherwise, he would've just come downstairs.

"Someone's trying to drill a hole into Swellview Prison so their grandpa can escape!" Schwoz told his boss as he fiddled with some doohickey invention on the table. He knew it had to be kept secret, lowering his voice as Ray's jovial mood turned serious.

"On it!" The man nodded, and again, his wife took a moment to admire how effortlessly handsome he was. They'd be heading out again in three seconds. The action would be too fast-paced to admire him truly, so she stared longingly at the shirt, committing every garish pattern and how they hid his abs to memory.

He quickly hung up and gave her a sneaky glance, darting his eyes toward the door as a hint that they needed to leave. (y/n) didn't need to be told twice; she grabbed his hand and swiftly headed for the door, but they wouldn't get away easily.

"Who was that?" Mika asked, jumping into their path with surprising speed so she could interrogate them. The adults gulped as Ray backed up into his sweet girl when the girl spooked him, and honestly, it was pretty scary, given the girl's questioning scowl.

Even though they hadn't let on, the kids were highly suspicious, figuring out the previous night that the couple were lying about the crime drought. She wanted to see them squirm, hear their excuse this time, and scrutinise their every twitch as she wormed the truth out.

"Uh..." he thought for a second, eyes flickering to the left as he stalled, trying to desperately think of a liar good enough to dupe the smart one.

"My hairdresser! I'm late for my appointment--at the haircut store..." Ray stuttered, going from disaster to disaster as his words jumbled up to form nonsense.

What was a haircut store? Did he mean salon? It made (y/n) sigh and rub her face, seeing how Mika scoffed and blocked his way every time the hero tried to side-step her. Yeah, no one bought that...

"You gettin' some frosted tips? Blond highlights are very in right now," Bose said with an adorably innocent smile. However, he should've realised that that was a ridiculously youthful style for a man pushing forty and noticed that the man was lying through his teeth.

"Yeah, sure. I'm getting frosted tips...Now move." Ray nodded quickly, even though he wasn't entirely sure what they were. Still, he didn't care as long as Mika moved out of the way, throwing a pencil across the room as a distraction. It worked; when the girl's focus followed the flying object, the hero moved, tugging his sweet girl behind him as they dashed for the door.

"I think you're lying!" Yet they still couldn't escape. Before (y/n) could grasp the gold, gilded doorknob, Miles' voice called after them, accusing them of such a heinous thing--though it was true. He didn't even need to turn his head to know that the couple wouldn't stand for that, pausing in the doorway as he smirked smugly - he had them.

The heroes turned slowly, wearing expressions, to see the kids staring back, having spun their chairs around to judge them. It was like standing in front of the damn Inquisition, and the heroine gulped, her stomach twisting into knots when she saw their disappointed little faces...

"Beg your pardon?" She asked nervously, wringing her sweaty hands together as she tried to appear normal. It wasn't working.

"I said, I think you and your husband are lying! Do you normally go with him when he gets a haircut?" Miles repeated, violently standing from his chair before swaggering over to the couple to hear their excuse. His question was fair, and (y/n) didn't blame him for being so harsh - she loved his floppy locks, but Ray wasn't a baby.

"I value her opinion," her doofus said defensively, putting his arm around her shoulders when he saw how flustered she was. He fiercely protected her, practically snarling at the boy, not that it dissuaded him.

"I don't think you're going to the haircut store at all. I think you're going to fight crime without us!" Miles snapped, boldly standing up against the man, even as he used his famous Captain Man glare. At least Miss Danger had the decency to look ashamed, staring at her shoes and leaning into his side to try and burrow away.

"Why would we go and fight crime without you guys? We respect all of your abilities. Equally..." Ray asked quietly, his sarcastic tone aggravating the situation further.

"That's not helpful!" (y/n) hissed as her doofus tried to leave, yanking the door open as her cheeks burned with humiliation. He wasn't good under pressure, and not when people were picking on him, so he wanted to get out ASAP, not that they'd let him. Still, she didn't see how his snarky comments would help them, not when they deepened their frowns and huddled closer - almost like they were about to attack.

"Then, I look forward to seeing your blonde highlights when you get back...From the haircut store! He'll look so sweet, right, (y/n/n)?" Chapa smiled sourly, her arms folded tightly across her chest as Ray gulped and looked at his sweet girl for help.

"Like candy..." The heroine nodded awkwardly, knowing she wouldn't let any stylist near her doofus' floppy locks, not for something as hideous as frosted tips. Yet, they couldn't look like liars, either, cogs turning as they headed to leave again, wondering how they'd dye the man's hair without ruining it.

"They'll probably be more subtle...like a strawberry blonde," Ray noted, momentarily turning back to poke his head through the door - anything to try and save himself.

"Yeah. Can't wait."

"--Or a burnt caramel, kind of a tawny colour, something tasteful. You guys probably won't even notice!" He rambled before (y/n) yanked him onto the porch, slamming the door shut behind him. He just made it worse and worse, spiralling further into the lie until he was cringing and crawling around his home like a common thief.

She didn't want to know what the kids would get up to as they sprinted to their battle stations, hurrying to get to the jailhouse before something awful happened. Something told her that they wouldn't drop the issue, her tummy crying that something would go wrong in one way or another.

"Can't we just tell them, Raymond? I'm sick of all this lying!" She said as they stumbled into a dense, bushy area, looking for cover while removing their gum tubes.

"What? You don't think I'd look good with snowy tips?" The hero asked jokingly, running his fingers through his unstyled, quaffed hair, pushing back the silky hair as she admired how handsome he was. He looked good with anything, but that didn't mean he had to change; no, she loved the adorable idiot she fell in love with...

"Frosted tips, doofus, and no, I don't. I like your hair the way it is."

"Aw... Do I look...pretty?" Ray giggled, loving to hear her laugh when he tossed his head back like a model from a shampoo advert, hair flicking every which way.

"So very pretty," (y/n) nodded, forgetting her job and gum for a moment as she wound her arms around her doofus' neck and pulled him down for a short but sweet kiss. He hummed against her lips, loping his hand around to lay in the small of her back, pressing their bodies together closely as the other tilted her chin further upwards.

"Nothing compared to you, sweet girl. You're beautiful..." the man whispered when they gently broke apart, satisfied and smiling like idiots. Her cheeks and ears burned at his words, but Ray looked so genuine, looking at his wife like no one else - he never looked so softly at any other woman in all his life. She was so gorgeous it actually hurt.

"Come on, smooth operator. We need to get going," she cleared her throat, feeling like a goddess under his gaze. Still, unfortunately, that wouldn't stop the criminals from jailbreaking. She remembered they had a job to do and wiggled out of his arms, pecking his cheek one final time before rolling a gumball free.

But Ray wasn't one to be defeated, blatantly leaning back on his heels to trail his gaze down her body, eyes lingering on the soft, squishy curve of her ass. Looking back at her pretty face, he grinned cheekily, thinking that a runaway criminal wouldn't be too tricky. Once they had locked him up and thrown away the key, they'd quickly return to the Man's Nest. A needy guy like him, a beautiful girl like him...they could make magic together.

"Hey, how about an early night tonight?"

"Come on, Ray!" At least she didn't say no.

~Swellview Prison~

Outside the concrete maze that was the city's largest prison, home to all manner of scum, shit was going down.

From the worst of society to the pettiest of pilferers, Swellview Prison housed every criminal Captain Man and his sidekicks had ever encountered - plus a few extras that the police somehow managed to catch. Still, what could go in could also come out, or at least that was the thinking of a budding young villain - a small, ginger child, who, with his crew, was lasering the thick stone walls to try and get to the other side.

He thought he was so slick, standing back as his minions used some evil doohickey to chisel chip after chip away from the wall. Soon, they'd make it through to the opposite cell, and their prison break would be complete. That is if two superheroes didn't have something to say about it...

"All right, ya jerks. Time to kill that drill!" Captain Man barked forcefully as he sauntered up to the rotten crew, Miss Danger by his side with a severe and intimidating expression - or as intimidating as she could get next to the hulking, grouchy man. God, she loved it when he was in hero mode.

However, despite his commands, the criminals didn't even bat an eye, carrying on with their misdeeds without a care in the world. It didn't take much for (y/n) to realise that the whirring of their machine, pummelled concrete, and the noise-cancelling headphones on their heads meant they couldn't hear anything, including them.

"Uh, doofus...I don't think they can hear us."

"Hang on, darlin'..." Ray sniffed, clearing his throat when he saw that she was right. He wasn't one for false starts, but no matter. He readjusted his stance and pointed a stern finger at the little boy.

"Put your hands in the air like you just do care--about the law! Brah!"

"Wow, way to tell them, Captain," (y/n) retorted sarcastically, watching as her doofus tried to be all high and mighty, bellowing his orders, just to be ignored. For a man like him to be humiliated and disregarded, especially in front of his sweet girl, was too much, and the hero clenched his fists and growled in frustration.

"All right, that's it--hey!" he snapped, tired of their ignorance, so he stormed over and waved his hands, shouting, ranting and raving like a madman.

Miss Danger stayed back with her hands on her hips, smiling in satisfaction when she watched her husband spook the trio, their faces contorting in shock and fear because Captain Man was glaring at them. They shrugged the ear mufflers off, staring at the hero and his hot sidekick with baffled faces, mouths open and eyes wide but full of hate.

"Captain Man?! Miss Danger!" The boy, named Crank, gasped in awe of the heroes as they glared at him, which he quickly returned. He came from a long line of lowlifes and crooks, so thievery and devilry ran in his blood, as did a deep hatred of stupid, interfering do-gooders.

"Hey, ginger nuts. You look busy over here..." (y/n) said dryly, observing how they'd tunnelled through to get inside, although they weren't exactly subtle about it.

"Yeah! I'm over here dropping dope rhymes in front of my incredibly hot wife, but none of you poops are even paying attention," Ray hissed, going toe-to-toe with Crank as the kid wrinkled his freckled nose, disgusted by both the man's youthful words and how disgustingly in love he was.

"Well, sorry, but we were trying to break my grandpa out of jail," Crank explained. He looked strangely sweet and innocent despite his thuggish attire of chain necklaces and a striped t-shirt. The couple almost felt sorry for him, wondering if this was just a misguided child trying to see his beloved relative again - doing evil for the right reasons.

"Aw...I bet you love him," (y/n) cooed, bending down, hand on her knees, to meet his eye as her doofus placed a warm hand on her back, almost moved by those big, sad eyes.

"He owes me money! Gonna break his legs..." But their adoration was misplaced. The boy's cute face scrunched into a scowl, his gaze turning as hard and mean as a lifelong hard-nut - similar to the snarls they'd

It shocked the heroes, leaning away from the little shit and how evil he seemed. He wanted something cold and callous from his dear old grandpa, even threatening him with violence. That was the last time (y/n) would empathise with him, shocked by his coarse behaviour and cruel personality - not childlike.

"Well, I'm afraid we can't let you do either of those things, carrot top," she said firmly, giving him one of her disapproving, motherly glares, hoping he'd feel some guilt. But that was hard when the miniature villain was egged on by her silly doofus.

"But...just out of curiosity, how much does he owe you? Because, y'know, for a reasonable collection fee, I could just go in there and--" Ray whispered, clicking his tongue and giving Crank a nudge-nudge, wink-wink side-eye as his sweet girl stared at him in disbelief.

She couldn't believe her ears, blinking hard three times to ensure she hadn't misheard him. Sometimes, Ray had some questionable ideas, and she hoped he had enough common sense to know she'd kill him if he ever conspired with criminals. A glare from her was enough to make him shrink back, instantly regretting his choices since Miss Danger would never stoop so low, and she certainly didn't expect Captain Man to, either.

"Captain Man!" She exclaimed, horrified. Ray pouted when she roughly elbowed his ribs, knowing it was stupid to say, but he'd never actually go through with it. Still, he hated the idea of disappointing her, staring at his feet when his angel gave him a stern talking-to.

"You will keep your butt right there, and if I find out you've been doing favours for criminals, I swear to God, I'll--" She never got to finish her rant.

Mid-fury, a loud whoosh filled the clearing, interrupting Ray's telling-off because she swore she knew that noise. Her face fell, taken by a pensive, confused expression since that sounded much like when Miles teleported. But that was impossible because the children had been left safely in the Man's Nest.

Or, at least, the couple thought that until they turned around, expecting to see a noisy squirrel or pigeon, not those meddling kids.

They made such a racket, landing in the thick bushes, thanks to Miles and his inability to control where he teleported, and the dense branches meant moving around was nigh-on impossible. Shouting and struggling to get free, they complained about his poor aim and how their impromptu appearance wasn't such a good idea - (y/n) could attest to that.

"Excuse us for a minute," the heroine said to Crank with a fake brilliant smile, holding a finger up as Ray took her hand and swiftly guided her to where Danger Force was making a scene.

"Hey! What are you doing here?!" The man exclaimed, shouting above their rowdiness, and the quartet fell silent. He couldn't believe it, seeing them in their multicoloured uniforms and knowing they'd deliberately disobeyed orders, even though he hadn't helped with his lies. It was embarrassing to be caught short in front of criminals...

"What are you doing here?!" Mika fired back, trying to mimic Miss Danger's disappointed face since they'd been caught red-handed amid their fib, yet they showed no shame. But honestly, it was no time for arguing, not when they were in a perilous, very delicate situation that the children were hideously unprepared for.

"Fighting crime!" (y/n) answered bravely, knowing they couldn't lie anymore, but she was angry that they'd followed them to the prison. It was almost cute how they thought crimefighting was glamorous and exciting, ignorant of the horrors and hardship until they were over their heads.

"That's funny. I thought you and your husband were at the haircut store getting frosted tips!" Chapa spat back, not realising the danger they'd put themselves in, given how woefully inadequate their powers were.

"Yeah, well, my wife decided it looked fine the way it was. She thinks I look pretty!"

"Ew..." The boys and Chapa wrinkled their noses, not missing how the couple swapped an adoring look, holding hands even tighter despite their irritation. Their love was sickening, but at least they helped them out of the bushes, pulling back the foliage so each kid could wriggle free.

"If it's okay with you, I'm gonna go back to breaking my grandpa out of prison," Crank called to the heroes, not wanting to be associated with any of their drama. He wasn't one for insubordination in the ranks. Still, he guessed that if they were busy arguing, he could get the old man out and his money before those idiots knew what was happening.

"No!"

"Yeah, no!" Mika shouted, countering the adamant adults as they tried to rein in Crank, hopefully trying to manage both situations before they got out of hand. But, like all preteens, the kids thought they knew better - so much better than Ray and (y/n), who'd been fighting crime for years - and had collectively decided they'd prove them wrong.

They were superheroes, powers and all. They could fight and win, and then, they'd be laughing at the mighty Captain Man and Miss Danger for ever doubting them. That would be so damn satisfying, even though they didn't see what could go wrong.

"'Cause we're gonna stop you!

"Uh, we're gonna stop them because we're the superheroes," Ray argued, gesturing to himself and his sweet girl as she folded her arms, utterly unimpressed by their behaviour. She liked the enthusiasm but, like her doofus, preferred to see it in their lessons, not with so much at stake.

"Yeah, the superheroes who've been lying to us for a week!"

"There hasn't been a crime drought!" The Macklin twins replied harshly, glaring at their teachers like they had no argument to stand on. They didn't understand that they lied with the best intentions, hoping to spare them from defeat and humiliation because their superpowers didn't mean instant glory. They had to be mastered - carefully, slowly, painstakingly so.

"You've just been telling us that so you two can fight crimes by yourselves!" Chapa growled equally as angry, which only frustrated the couple. It was a mess.

"Yeah, you bet we've been lying to you! Tell them, sweet girl!" Captain Man snapped back, head snapping to (y/n), who didn't like to lead the argument.

Still, for once, she was ready to support her doofus fully, not shying away from confrontation because she cared for them. She indeed did, and she'd never forgive herself if she allowed the kids to go into battle willy-nilly just to get themselves hurt, kidnapped, or worse - killed. Sighing, she sniffed and looked at all of them, looking more concerned than irate because they didn't grasp the situation - they didn't have a clue.

"Sorry, guys, but I agree with Captain Man," she sighed again before looking across the group, flaws and weaknesses popping into her head as she did.

"Miles, Chapa--you guys can't control your powers. Mika, you don't even have one yet! And Bose...well, need I say more? He wears shirts for pants!"

"They're called shants!" Bose said happily, thinking his creation was brilliantly inventive, but it proved the woman's point. The team was either uncoordinated or useless, meaning they'd be a dangerous liability in the field and not something Captain Man wanted loose in the city. So, as much as they didn't like it, they weren't ready, no matter how much enthusiasm they had.

"Face it...None of you are ready to be superheroes," Ray said gravely, hating to crush their spirit, but it was true. Their faces fell, rage mixing with despair because they thought they could do it and prove him wrong... It was soul-destroying.

"It's true...It's just too dangerous," (y/n) nodded solemnly, but Mika didn't leave it there. Looking up with a defiant glint, she slowly stepped toward the couple, knowing deep down they had more to give. Despite the adults ' counsel, she believed in herself and her friends, thinking the power of friendship and all that bullshit would triumph over evil.

"You're right. I don't have a superpower--I might not ever get one. But you know what?" she started, staring firmly at the heroine as she stared back, both thinking they were correct.

"Being a superhero isn't about having a superpower. It's about what's inside of you. It's about what's in here!"

"Our skeletons!" Bose nodded, even though it wasn't particularly helpful. Still, all that mystical shit made the heroes gag, knowing that real life--hero life--didn't work like that.

"Oh, good God--" (y/n) muttered as she tried not to roll her eyes. Again, she liked her enthusiasm, agreeing that superheroes needed a lot of that mushy stuff - hope, spirit, optimism, bravery - but practical skills were essential, like a basic grasp on power.

"I know I've got what it takes to be a superhero. And I know they do, too," the girl said wistfully, gesturing to her band of merry friends, who were just as ready to kick some ass, feeling their team's bond even after just a few of working together.

"We're not saying you don't have what it takes. I don't want to see you all pulverised because you aren't trained!" Miss Danger hissed, rubbing her tired eyes when the girl smiled up at her hopefully, praying her little speech had tugged on her heartstrings.

However, if anything, her warning made Mika and the others more determined, gritting their teeth when Ray nudged her arm. Looking up, (y/n) gulped when she saw Crank's goons cracking their knuckles and sneering, clearly ready for a fight that the kids weren't prepared for. They could barely throw a punch, making her all the more nervous to see them on the battlefield.

"Hey, come on, sweet girl..." Ray sighed, to her surprise. He took her hand and guided his wife to the sidelines, moving past the child team so the floor was theirs. It was their move, and despite his better instincts, he knew they'd never learn until they gauged their powers.

"Okay, show us how ready you are."

"Really?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow, looking back at her doofus as he frowned and shrugged. He didn't need her to tell him it was a bad idea, but they seemed so happy--grinning after finally gaining his permission.

"Okay, fine! Come on then, Danger Force! Take it away! Show us the extent of your power--may the power of friendship protect you, rainbows, ponies, whatever..."

"Let's do this..." Mika breathed deeply before looking at her friends, their excited smiles falling into sober countenances, void of everything but concentration. This moment was three weeks in the making, and they wanted it to go perfectly, given that the city's greatest heroes would scrutinise their every move.

Honestly, they looked pretty cool as they walked toward the villains in a line. Like something from a movie or TV show, time seemingly slowed down as they readied their attacks, clenching fists, storing electricity, squeezing glutes, and stalking toward the snarling crooks, who cockily stepped up to teach them a lesson - one that Captain Man and Miss Danger hadn't quite reached yet.

Falling back on their little training, Mika and Miles took the flanks, waiting for a physical attack. At the same time, Chapa and Bose waited with their powers on standby, knowing it was wise to wait for a minute to see who would make the first move. Ray and (y/n) looked at each other nervously, the latter's tummy tingle telling her something wasn't right.

"Doofus, I'm nervous..." she whispered, clutching at his beefy arm as Ray gulped, knowing how she felt.

"It'll be fine, darlin'. Completely fine..." the hero replied, squeezing her hand as she held a hand over her eyes, peeking through her fingers. She didn't want to watch but had to, worried sick despite his reassuring words. Surely, it can't be that bad, her doofus swore, but he what he didn't know...

"I haven't learned to aim yet..." Chapa whispered to her friends, feeling the electricity surging through her veins, ready to explode, but her aim was terrible. Genuinely awful. It was all right having so much power - arguably the strongest of the four - but if it didn't hit her enemies, what was the point?

Still, her friends believed in her, muttering words of encouragement ranging from self-belief to learning on the spot, so she went for it. She had no choice, clenching her jaw and firing, sending bolts of scarlet energy across the battlefield...and into Captain Man. Who then tripped into Miss Danger. Who face-planted the floor. And then, he went flying. Straight onto the prison roof.

This was why they said they weren't ready.

"Doofus!" (y/n) cried, watching in horror when she came to her senses to see her husband flying through the night sky. He collided with a security gate before falling into the prison courtyard, and she prayed there were no late-night frolickers in there. They'd tear the man who put them inside limb from limb.

"You guys! You attacked the wrong person!" She shrieked, turning to look at the bashful children with an alarmed face as the goons cackled, loving how they'd taken care of the hero for them. Now, they just needed to take care of Miss Danger, and without her watchdog of a lover around, that would be easy. And the kids? They were laughable, easy pickings.

"Bose! How could you?!" Chapa gasped falsely, placing all the blame on the oblivious kid as he stood there as vacant as usual. It really didn't help (y/n)'s mood or situation since they were now down their strongest super.

"I don't care whose fault it was. Someone go and get my husband!"

"Get in there and bring back Captain Man," Mika said to her brother, seeing the heroine's distress since those two were inseparable - the one thing she'd learned after three weeks in school. And she wasn't dumb enough to think they were better off without him.

"Copy that--" Miles nodded before throwing his arm into the air, disappearing in a flash of golden light. Whether he'd successfully teleport to the hero and bring him back in one piece was different, but (y/n) was grateful that the boy tried.

"Get 'em!" Crank bellowed to his lackeys, spooking the three remaining kids, even as Miss Danger immediately adjusted her stance to protectively stand in front of them.

Those men were huge, hairy, and undoubtedly exceeded her strength. Usually, she relied on her lover to dish out the raw brute force. Simultaneously, she found gaps in the fight to use her agility and swiftness to exploit an enemy's weakness. Still, she hoped that if the kids could distract them - safely - she might be able to subdue them until Miles returned with Ray.

"Okay, stay behind me. I'll keep you guys safe," (y/n) told the kids, her fists drawn up as she prepared to take the men on, hoping she could keep all three safe while fighting two men.

However, things didn't play out the way she hoped. The goons charged first, running toward her with their teeth bared and fists ready to pummel her face, and whilst she was prepared to fight, the kids didn't listen. Contrary to her instructions, they released a battle cry before running past her and into the fray - the last line of defence. This could only go wrong...

They met in the middle as (y/n) floundered, baffled by the sudden commotion. Chapa immediately went for a lightning strike, summoning and ejecting her electricity with the hope that she'd hit Crank. Yet, her aim was as terrible as usual.

Instead of zapping the criminal kid, she shot his device, the one lasering through the prison wall, causing the bolt to rebound and hit her in the chest. She flew backwards at a tremendous speed, hitting Miss Danger and sending them into the dense bushes lining the walkway. Instantly, their limbs were tangled in the branches, rendering them useless as the men grabbed Mika and Bose.

"Chapa! You really need to work on your aim!"

"Dangit! I know!" The girl hissed, fighting against the woman as they stood back-to-back, wrapped in vines and God knows what else, so they could barely move. Maybe it would've been wise to listen to the heroine and her husband, but it was too late to think like that.

As they clawed to get free, Mika and Bose struggled with the goons, suddenly realising that stuff like superhero qualities, hope, optimism, and all that mushy stuff wouldn't help them against two hulking lugs like them. They were children--no match for them as they twisted their arms around their backs and kicked the backs of their legs, tossing them around like rag dolls.

It got even better when Miles returned--just not how (y/n) hoped. The boy teleported the hero out of the prison but didn't quite make it outside; instead, they materialised halfway through the wall, creating a large gaping hole with the hero wedged in between the concrete and his protégé - basically useless.

"Hey! Heyyy!" Ray groaned as he hung from the wall, barely able to lift his head from the awkward position.

"Captain Man?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, looking up in horror to see her doofus stuck in a wall with Miles pinned behind him. Oh God, it broke her heart to see him like that, above the fight and seeing the kids in danger, yet unable to help. She knew how he felt...

"We're up here, sweet girl!" The hero called out to her, barely able to see that she and Chapa were stuck in the bushes, and it made his heart clench in worry, frustration and anger. He should've just taken out the bad guys when he had the chance - his wife wouldn't be in danger then - but the kids had been so sure - a mistake to believe them now he reflected on it.

"Bose, what are you doing?" Chapa asked as the boy tried to use his telekinesis to lift Crank's machine - intentionally or not, they couldn't figure out since he was being pulled apart by a thug.

"Will you guys get down here?" Shockingly, even the ginger kid wanted Captain Man on the scene, thinking things were getting a little out of hand with the man's freaky, uncontrollable sidekicks and how they could make things float. But that was wishful thinking, given how Miles' arms were pinned, rendering his power useless since he couldn't teleport without them.

"We can't!"

"What happened?" Mika asked frantically, distracted by the lackey wrestling with her to see her brother and boss.

She, too, was now beginning to realise that her plan wasn't very well thought out after throwing a few punches just to weakly tap the guy's stomach. It made her knuckles ache and her skin bruise, making her wonder how Captain Man and Miss Danger did it so quickly, not knowing that practice took the pain away - something they sorely needed.

"We got stuck in a wall on the way back!" Miles groaned, feeling highly uncomfortable as every inch of his body pressed against Ray--not something he'd ever wanted. He'd leave that to (y/n).

"That can happen?!" His sister gasped, knowing he'd been transported to many different countries and biomes, but appearing in a wall was new. She was glad they weren't hurt - half in the wall with their gizzards mushed around wasn't a good look.

"I have just learned that it can!" The boy replied dryly, not knowing what else she wanted him to say. He'd had his powers for a few weeks; there was much to learn.

As they were chatting, Bose's concentration increased - not something that happened regularly for the lad. He wasn't used to so much brainpower. He rapidly fatigued as he raised the laser above the man holding him, aiming to bash him on the head or some such attack.

However, the kid wasn't one for strategy; not seeing how a hefty object crashing down so close to him was a bad idea until it was too late. The device crashed into the goon and Bose, sending them both to the ground in an aching, groaning pile.

"I thought that would work..." he whined, lifting his face from the dirt as the machine lay useless, but the henchman still stayed on top of him. His entire lower half was pinned down, and lifting the heavy tripod had depleted his energy, leaving Bose wishing he'd practised lifting pencils and cotton wool more like Miss Danger had recommended.

"You see? Not--ready!" Ray growled, thinking he'd thoroughly proved his and (y/n)'s point, even if it was no time for gloating.

Yet no one could deny it, not when he had a bird's eye view of the battlefield, seeing how Chapa had rendered Miss Danger and herself trapped, Bose had KO'd himself, and Miles had screwed him over, which left just Mika. Poor, sorry old Mika, left with no powers, training, and nowhere to go since one of Crank's henchmen had her subdued.

"I agree. Face it, kids, this whole thing was a disaster--you aren't ready!" (y/n) agreed, fighting against the vines wrapped tightly around her torso and forearms to no avail. She hated to be a downer, but she saw no way out of this, thinking they were well and truly screwed because they weren't good listeners.

All that hope and wonder crap didn't happen in the real world, but Mika still believed. Hearing her heroes so disappointed and defeatist angered the resilience in her, and despite how bleak everything was, she still had some fight left. She wasn't sure what fight it was, given her physical prowess was shit, but their lack of trust in her--in the team--made her want to yell--to scream--to shout out.

"Yes--we--ARE!" She bellowed, feeling a power surge through her, and (y/n) had to blink to ensure her eyes weren't playing tricks.

A brilliant silver glow surrounded the girl, reminding the heroine of the night when she gained her tummy tingle - the glow of the Omega Weapon's energy. She struggled against her captor, feeling stronger than ever as she roared, her voice louder than a jet engine as her voice box beamed sonic waves toward the prison wall.

Mika Macklin had found her superpower, breaking down the wall with her almighty scream - so potent it could break through concrete. It was brilliant, making her teachers and friends gawp and gasp, utterly shocked at her ability and its uncanny knack for appearing at such a dismal moment.

"Holy shit..." (y/n) breathed under her breath, watching rubble fly through the air, making Crank and his goons avoid debris.

She was in awe of the girl's superpower, knowing that she must've had one deep down, but she'd never have guessed it would be so...loud. Her ears were ringing, but she ignored the slight pain, more focused on the gaping hole the girl had made in a solid three-foot-wide wall of concrete. And it just had to be in the most dangerous building in Swellview.

"You guys, I have a superpower!" Mika squealed, feeling her throat relax again as a beaming smile grew on her face, her every nerve on fire with delight when she realised she'd done that. That big hole? Mika Macklin did that.

"It's about time!"

"Time reveals all things."

"You can fly?!" Came the ecstatic congratulations of her friends, although Bose was a little confused. He had the energy, though, as happy for his friend as the others were, and it inspired her with new determination. She was gonna win this fight.

Referring back to her minimal training, Mika struggled against the goon's grip, trying to free her shoulders, even as his hands tightened painfully on her upper arms. She couldn't regain that vibration no matter how much she growled or barked. With no superpower, it was easy for the henchman to drag her to the bushes, where he wasted no time tangling her in the foliage.

He wasn't stupid, seeing his chance to secure the scene as someone emerged from the hole. It was a wrinkled, doddery and clumsy old man who carefully stepped out onto the rubble and into the free world, still wearing his garishly orange prison uniform.

"Pop-pop?" Crank asked hopefully, his voice returning to the same innocent, childlike wonder he'd used to fool Captain Man and Miss Danger. Still, his grandfather didn't see anything wrong. Instead, he seemed happy to see him, opening his arms to invite him into a warm, familiar hug, even if it smelled like cabbage and boiled sweets.

"Crank, my boy!"

"You owe me money!" The ginge screamed, his face melting into a furious sneer that had his grandpa shaking in his Long Johns. He fled into his cell again, preferring the harshness of serving time to facing the menace that was his own flesh and blood, leaving the heroes stuck outside.

The goons fled, too, seeing as their boss was well on his way to enacting his revenge, which wasn't too bad. The gang was stuck, but at least they weren't fighting anymore, giving (y/n) and Ray some time to think of a strategy - some way to escape danger before some other tragedy happened.

"Well, well, well..." Or not.

"I know those wells..." (y/n) gulped, not needing to be a genius to know that whiny, high-pitched voice. She prayed it was a bad dream, thinking the night couldn't get any worse, but it could. It definitely could.

Like one of their most sinister terrors, the couple watched with aghast faces as The Toddler poked his ugly mug through the hole after hearing the commotion from his cell down the hall. He knew a jailbreak when he saw one, feeling the need to explore when he saw Gangster Grandpa running away from some ginger kid.

The heroes froze, especially the kids, sensing they weren't dealing with petty criminals any more - this was the big leagues.

"What's going on out here?" The villain asked smarmily, stepping through the hole in his orange baby onesie and cap.

"Toddler! Get back in your crib!" Captain Man ordered, disregarding the pain in his shoulders as he tried to get free, scraping his skin against the broken stone. This was a nightmare of epic proportions; he, Kid Danger, and his sweet girl had spent months - years, even - putting every big name in Swellview behind bars, cleaning up the streets until most of their enemies faced justice.

But the kids had undone it in one fell swoop. He had to be dreaming.

"No!" The Toddler snapped, glad to see Captain Man was in a particularly sticky situation and his little wife or whatever was disengaged too. He'd heard about their union or whatever. It made him want to vomit, but nothing was sweeter than knowing the ones who'd put him in jail would watch helplessly as he and all the other prisoners busted out. That would be his wedding gift to them.

"Come on, everybody! We're free again!"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no---" Ray practically sobbed as he watched the man-baby run off into the night, skipping with joy since there were no silly superheroes around to stop him. And it didn't stop there.

With the alarm raised, every other villain in the prison bolted for freedom, making the couple thump their fists in frustration as the floodgates of scum opened. And all the kids could do was watch in shame, knowing that while they'd come with good intentions, this was ultimately their fault.

"Oh, sweet cheese--not him!" (y/n) groaned as she saw a familiarly glitzy face poke around the corner, dolled up and preened to look like a bejewelled peacock. The villain who irked her the most - Frankini.

"Yay!" He cheered, doing some ballet jumps and lunges.

After checking the coast was clear, he dramatically twirled into the courtyard, loving the smell of the open world as he danced in his heels. She wasn't sure if his outfit was classed as prison attire, featuring a goddamn turban, stripy leggings, and plenty of bling, but she didn't care. He still looked like an over-groomed poodle, which made her heart ache to know he would cause more mischief now he was loose.

"Frankini! Wait for me!" The lumbering nugget Goomer called after him, traipsing like a lost puppy since he didn't have enough brain cells for independent thought.

"I can't bee-lieve my luck!" Oh, goodie, Ray thought as The Beekeeper appeared, still as creepy as ever as he snuck through the hole in his protective orange suit. Close behind him was Doctor Minyak, his lanky frame barely fitting through the frame. Still, he made it, looking at his surroundings in shock because it had been a while since Captain Man put him in jail.

"I still have hope for a win!" He shouted boldly in his fancy accent, thinking that this was a sign; it was his chance to finally beat the superheroes after so many years of defeat, and he disappeared into the night before he had his collar felt.

"Oh, God..." (y/n) sighed when the next prisoner filtered through, and this one genuinely irritated her. She could perhaps deal with the others - they gave a genuine, worthwhile fight - but this guy was a moron. The dumbest criminal in Swellview. The one person she and Ray hated dealing with because he was so simple - mentally and physically. Jeff Bilsky.

"My life has purpose again! Yeah!" He exclaimed as he plodded into the spotlight, looking as stupid and dirty as ever in his ancient baseball cap and unwashed uniform. The heroes felt their souls break as they watched him flee, knowing they'd get many more calls once he returned to his life of petty crime.

"Time to go!" The Timejerker giggled as he followed Jeff, but not before he got another ridiculous, time-related pun in. God, those were annoying, even for the children, who tugged against their restraints and growled - it wasn't any easier for them.

The flow of villains petered off, but that didn't make it any better. All the criminals Ray cared about - The Toddler, Minyak, stupid Jeff - had made their escapes and were probably dozens of blocks away by now, returning to their hideouts and nooks to plot a million more evil ideas for him to sort out. Perhaps a few more would realise the prison was no longer secure.

Still, they hardly compared to actual supervillains - the real thorns in Captain Man and Miss Danger's sides, so it was a big well done for Danger Force. They'd really blown things out of the water--the first heroic team to bust bad guys out of jail rather than put them in there. Honestly, they deserved a trophy.

"You happy?" Ray asked tiredly, mainly looking at Mika since she was the ringleader, but he was disappointed in all of them. He didn't even want to think how long it would take to mop up their mess.

"Yeah! I got a superpower!" But the girl didn't seem bothered. She was more content with her newfound ability than she and her friends had single-handedly caused the worst crime spike in Swellview history, barely even thinking about the consequences of her uncontrollable super-scream.

"You just let every criminal out of Swellview Prison!" (y/n) told her harshly, not even bothering to hide her irritation because it hurt--physically hurt--to see the girl smile. Well, she was glad someone was happy, but she could be the one to run around after the crooks when they wreaked mayhem.

"With my superpower, (y/n/n)!"

"Hey, it's Miss Danger when we're in uniform and another thing--the next time you decide to gatecrash a mission, please don't ignore me when I give you a co--oh, God, what the hell is he wearing?"

(y/n) frowned as she paused Mika's scolding, suddenly distracted when a gaudy flash of glitter and garish colours blinded her poor eyes. Everyone looked at the prison hole in confusion as Frankini dashed through it again, no longer in his uniform but in some kind of dance costume. He looked like some kind of tutti-frutti beanstalk, flicking a ribbon through the air as he twirled across the ground - attention-seeking like always.

"Weeeee!" He squealed before running off again, but it didn't stop there. He marked the start of the second flood, guiding more prisoners toward the exit with his multicoloured leotard and bizarre dance moves.

"I started out as a good guy!" Jack Frittleman cackled as he darted out, a sick grin on his face as he rubbed his palms together. It had been too long since he'd attempted to kill Captain Man and his sidekicks in that escape room, and he was hungry for revenge; taking off into the night as two familiar faces appeared behind him.

"So did we!" (y/n) could barely watch from the shame as The Thumb Buddies did their secret handshake, still hideously deformed after their former heroes left them to die from overexposure to solar radiation.

They seemed in good spirits, but behind their happiness, the heroine saw the madness, feeling deeply uncomfortable as the purple and hairy men jumped and ran, also ready to end the superheroes for ruining their lives. She still had nightmares about those two, wondering if she could've done more to help...

"Hey! I just realised--we ended the crime drought!" Bose exclaimed as the criminals lulled again, giving the group a break from humiliation. Still, it didn't help when the boy reminded everyone of the adults' lies--sounding almost happy like the prison escape was a good thing.

"Now, you have to let us fight crime!" Chapa told Ray and (y/n), knowing they'd need all the help they could get with so many evil people on the streets. Was that slightly sadistic? Maybe, but she didn't care, loving that they'd ultimately gotten their way, albeit with a minor disaster.

"Yeah, you're gonna need our help to capture all these bad guys," Miles agreed, deliberately talking into Ray's ear as he grunted. And he used to complain about Jasper - the kid was a genius compared to this lot.

"We'll probably need, like, a hundred hilarious missions to do it--maybe more!"

"Just when I thought we were done..." (y/n) sighed, knowing her doofus was right. One adventure finished, and another began, meaning her married life wouldn't be boring, which was more than some wives could say.

Was she hoping for a little more relaxation to settle down? Yeah--but what did she expect? Life hadn't been normal since that fateful afternoon in that café.

A figure pulled her from her thoughts, shocking her brain with their bright and tacky outfit as they leapt from the prison like a pink and silver leopard. On closer inspection, she realised it was Frankini - again - who'd run around the building just to filter through again, eager to show off his fashion sense to Miss Danger and her new little friends.

"Are you just going back around and running out over and over again?" Chapa asked as the man shimmied, dancing to the music in his head as the girl tried to work out if she was crazy or just having déjà vu.

"Check--check!" The glamorous villain ignored her, revealing that his outfit came with a microphone--just what he needed since (y/n) couldn't get enough of his stupid voice... He turned to the moody child with a smug smirk, thinking she could use a few fashion tips - probably from his dear friend Miss Danger, whom he couldn't wait to fight and frolic with again.

"Sweetie...I smuggled seventy-five outfits into this prison, and you're going to see every last one of them!" He announced, throwing his head back and grinning as the group gulped. They couldn't think of anything worse.

"Kill me...kill me now..." (y/n) muttered, wishing a lightning bolt would strike her down as Frankini began to dance again, spinning around and around enough to make anyone dizzy despite his bright, white smile.

She meant it, feeling like someone, somewhere, was punishing her for some great misdeed because if the fashion show wasn't enough, watching every other criminal leaving the prison was like a punch to the gut.

Never send a child to do your job, (y/l/n)--I mean, Manchester, she thought to herself, still not used to the change but wondering how they'd get out of this or if she'd live long enough to see outfit seventy-five. She glanced at her doofus, knowing he was thinking the same thing, sending his love through a few small gazes, which was comfort enough.

Their old lives were over; a new one had started, and God, if they weren't exhausted already. It would be an adventure full of peril, tears, and laughter, and who knows how long it would last? The team had a lot of work to do, starting with training a unit fit for battle, but that would keep for another day--another mission.

They didn't know it yet, but it was the beginning of a new family - the family they got to choose. Ray and (y/n) only had to show them the way, and perhaps, they'd find a few changes along the way - their home ever-expanding.

It was all written before them; they just had to keep reading the next chapters...

The future was now. The Danger Force had awakened.

3 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1 Masterlist

Status: Ongoing!

Main Masterlist

Synopsis: No one ever says married life is easy, which certainly isn't true for Ray and (y/n). After finally tying the knot, Mr. and Mrs. Manchester said goodbye to Henry and their old friends and welcomed four new ones: Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa. The kids have spirit but lack the finesse of experienced crimefighters, needing Captain Man and Miss Danger to shape them into the superheroes they know they can be.

Easier said than done when you're outnumbered. Cue the mishaps, mayhem, and mischief in a new adventure for Danger Force.

This story is mature in places with adult themes and language and uses she/her pronouns for a female reader. However, anyone is free to read and enjoy :)

Episode 1: The Danger Force Awakens

Episode 2: Say My Name

Episode 3: Ray Goes Cray (SMUT)

Episode 4: Villains' Night (SMUT)

Episode 5: Mime Games (SMUT)

Episode 6: Quaran-kini (SMUT)

Episode 7: Chapa's Crush (SMUT)

Episode 8: Return of the Kid *New! 26/03/24*

Episode 9: Mika in the Middle

Episode 10: The Thousand Pranks War Part 1

Episode 11: The Thousand Pranks War Part 2

Episode 12: Down Goes Santa Part 1

Episode 13: Down Goes Santa Part 2

Episode 14: Vidja Games

Episode 15: Test Friends

Episode 16: Lil' Dynomite

Episode 17: Monsty

Episode 18: Twin It to Win It

Episode 19: Radioactive Cat

Episode 20: Miles Has Visions

Episode 21: Captain Man Strikes Out

Episode 22: Manlee Men

Episode 23: S.W.A.G is Haunted

Episode 24: Family Lies

Episode 25: Earth To Bose

Episode 26: Drive Hard

12 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Epilogue Part 2: To End Up With You (SMUT)

Season 5 Masterlist

*Aloha! This has been a long time coming, but here you go! The end!

This is just...this is...utter filth. Very very grown-up, and I don't recommend trying some of the stuff at home.

There's some plot, but it's mostly just smut (apart from the end) and includes some slightly spicy images, i.e. a woman in underwear. Avoid it if it's not your thing.

P.S. I've never been to Hawaii, so don't expect this to be accurate or realistic. Please enjoy the final chapter of this book as Ray and his sweet girl enter their new chapter <3

The journey was hell, but it brought them to heaven.

After a gruelling six-hour flight, Ray and (y/n) finally touched down in Hawaii, the final couple to board the packed flight. They'd gone straight from the mall to the airport, having easily laid a few thousand down on a new wardrobe each after realising everything they owned was now ash and charcoal. With heavy hearts, they made the first step of letting the old Man Cave go, knowing new beginnings deserved new threads. However, (y/n) wished Ray didn't try to carry every bag she bought in the name of chivalry.

But shoving a few weeks' worth of clothes and essentials into a few suitcases wasn't easy, meaning they showed up to the plane looking slightly mad and certainly rumpled in their suit and white dress.

They were newlyweds, which went well with the grumpy old man in the aisle seat next to them. He rolled their eyes as they bumbled into the middle and window seats. Ray graciously took the central option since he was a gentleman, unlike the loser who swore that anyone who was ever late should be lined up against a wall... Not the sort of guy Ray wanted his sweet girl rubbing shoulders with.

But, six intolerable hours of crying babies, lousy food, and no sleep later, they touched down in paradise, catching peeks of the shadowy beaches and black sea beneath them as they descended through the clouds. It was disappointing to know they didn't get their first glimpses in daylight, but (y/n) didn't care, not when they collected their bags, shoved their passports in the face of the kindly man in security, and skipped out into the free air.

They still had a taxi ride ahead of them, but it didn't matter to her; this was Hawaii - the place she'd always dreamed of. And now, she had finally arrived with her husband by her side.

"Calm down, darlin'. We've still got an hour before we get to our hotel."

"I know, I know! But a girl can be excited, doofus. It's my honeymoon, after all..." she giggled as they slunk into the back of the cab, refusing to stop holding hands, even as they fastened their seatbelts. He couldn't help but smile at that, too, bubbling with excitement at the prospect of spending three weeks interrupted with his wife. His wife.

He wasn't used to that, frequently raising her hand to his lips so he could kiss her rings - the ones that told the world she was his and he was hers. It was a sweet sight for the taxi driver, who politely chatted with them, cooed when they spoke of their recent nuptials, and welcomed them to the island like they were old friends. That instantly stood out to the happy couple; everyone around them was pleasant and friendly - always smiling.

And, of course, the man at the hotel lobby's entrance smiled. Sharp, bright, pearly like a shark, his hand outstretched for his expectant tip that had Ray reaching into his wallet. He didn't care, not even when (y/n)'s eyes widened at the fifty-dollar bill he handed over--wasn't that a little extreme? She would've thought so if it wasn't for the foyer that greeted her, taking her breath away as a bellboy jumped into action to carry their bags.

That was the kind of place the hero had booked; endless polished marble floors, high ceilings, luxurious wallpapers on walls otherwise painted white, soft velveteen couches for waiting clients, and a tropical fish tank that reached the balconied floor above them. The place felt like a palace, gleaming and spotless as (y/n) took in its beauty with a wide-eyed expression and open mouth.

She felt a little intimidated, wondering if such a place was meant for someone like her, who often dribbled food down her front or wore dirty sneakers. But she didn't need to worry; as fancy as the hotel was - literally the best money could buy - the staff were far too well-mannered to say anything. As per Ray's plan, they wouldn't bump into any snooty residents anyway. Even the judgemental glances at their shotgun wedding attire would pass as the very accommodating man at the front desk handed them keys and congratulated Mr and Mrs Manchester for their recent marriage.

Her new title was foreign but not unwelcome as her lover whisked her away again, ushering her away from the main building with the bell boy and into what looked like a reinforced golf buggy.

"What about our room, Ray?"

"Don't worry, sweet girl. You'll see..." the man whispered into her ear as they huddled in the back of the vehicle, pushed together by the cooler air and a constant need to be close.

Everything was so mysterious and lacking in detail, giving her little to nothing to imagine as the spotty kid drove them along a rocky path beside the main beach. He was nice enough like everyone else, accustomed to tourists and the like as the bright building disappeared behind the lush vegetation behind them. Undoubtedly, Ray didn't intend for them to sleep on the beach, (y/n) assumed, but she couldn't help but wonder as the darkness crept around them, and the sound of crickets grew louder.

There was almost no one around here; everyone was put off by the mountainous terrain, forest, or isolated sane dunes to walk this far away from the sun beds, bars, and restaurants. She would've been okay with that palace, knowing the rooms would've been expensive but of the highest quality--fit for a king and queen, so she didn't understand what could've been better out here in the middle of nowhere.

"I can hear you think, sweetheart. Trust me. I know where we're going," Ray chuckled, kissing her cheek and jaw as her eyebrows twitched in confusion. He read her face like a book, sensing her slight apprehension, despite trusting him with her life. Knowing her doofus, he wouldn't have stopped until he had the best of the best booked, nothing but the finest luxury for his darling wife, yet she couldn't work out what that was.

"Can't you give me a clue? Just a little one?"

"Nope."

"A tiny one?" Damn, he was holding out on her, distracting her with kisses and a warm hand on her thigh as she whined. A brattier part of her wanted to pout; this was her vacation, too - why couldn't she know where they were staying, especially if it was some mud hut out in the sticks? But no, she had to remain calm and trust the process. She did not want to look back on her honeymoon and remember a temper tantrum, not even when Ray stood fast and refused to spill his secret.

"No."

"A teeny-weeny-peeny one?" But he couldn't fault a sweet girl for trying.

"Cute, but no," he grinned, pecking her nose as she wrinkled it in defeat. What a meanie, making her suffer a surprise of all things. But she relented, eagerly leaning out of the buggy to try and work out where the bell boy was taking them as he worked on making her lose her cool.

He'd been a nightmare of the plane, whispering all kinds of tempting, sinful ideas to her, ranging from wondering what that pretty little dress would look like on the cabin floor to joining the mile-high club. All of which would've earned them a lifetime ban on flying, so she switched on a movie and told him to eat his microwaved goop. Cue Ray pouting, mumbling about needing his wife more than ever now that she'd taken his surname, but whatever. His moment would come - literally.

Ignoring his tummy-tingling touches, she peered at their surroundings. It didn't help that it was way past their bedtimes with little more than the moon and stars to cast their light onto the beach and rural trails, but gradually, she began to piece some things together. The further they got from the central hotel, the more frequently the tiki torches appeared, guiding them onto a smoother road and toward an open stretch of white sand and endless ocean dotted with individual shacks that glowed warmly and invited them closer.

Well, she said shacks. As they approached, she quickly retracted that noun, gulping when she saw their design and grandeur, replacing it with mansion. They were huge, made from solid wood and stone, with open windows, potted plants and palm trees to make the rooms cool and airy in the warm, welcoming light. Each had its pool that stretched around the properties, leaving islands for wicker furniture, outdoor grills, and sun beds.

It should've been cosy with so many couples living so close together...until (y/n) realised they weren't individual rooms but one lot - one space for one paying customer, who just happened to be Captain Man. He'd booked one villa for three weeks for two people, namely himself and his wife, who deserved to dine, sleep, and explore without fearing someone interrupting their getaway. Was it expensive? He used his card without a second thought once he'd seen the bedroom and king-sized bed online. It was perfect, and her expression was exactly what he'd been hoping for.

"Good?" he asked as they got closer, laughing when his sweet girl almost stuck half her body out of the window to try and get a better view.

Good was an understatement as they pulled up near the front door, framed by the grand, looming porch with its flowers and seagrass welcome mat. The place screamed domesticity and comfort, stealing (y/n)'s breath away as she scrambled out of the golf buggy with a helping hand from Ray. He didn't want to see her trip, not when they had three weeks to enjoy the space, although he understood her excitement.

"Uh-huh..." she nodded weakly, her head constantly inclined as she stared at the pretty villa, noting its creamy walls and ornate slate roof. Her eyes couldn't drink in its beauty fast enough, but one thing was sure - it must've cost Ray an arm and a leg. Possibly a kidney, too.

"Doofus, this is too much. You didn't have to spend this much on us for one vacation."

"I did, sweet girl. You deserve it, and besides, who doesn't want their own resort, complete with a private pool and beach?" He shrugged, helping the boy with their many suitcases because he was nice. She was his for the next twenty-one days, and he didn't want to share, deeming the communal buildings too busy and noisy for a proper romantic getaway. After all, Ray Manchester didn't share, not when he planned on making his pretty wife scream to the heavens.

"You mean it's ours? There's no one else?" (y/n) frowned, but now that he mentioned it, she realised she hadn't seen anyone since they'd checked in. Could he mean it? No one at all?

"Not for miles around, so I have you all to myself. No kids, no emergencies, no bald weirdos showering with pigs... Just us," Ray smirked, gently kissing her lips as the kid - Ryan? Rhys? Rob? Whatever - worked on placing their bags in the hallway past the grand doors. He seemed a little too eager to please, cruising for a healthy tip as he snuck a few glances at the pretty lady wearing the even prettier dress. She was hot...but her husband was terrifying, especially when he caught him staring.

He was used to it - every man and boy liked to drool over his wife, trying to tempt her away with sneering smirks and crooning words, but she didn't know it. (y/n) was entirely focused on her doofus, throwing her arms around him and chanting a million thank yous to see how the boy turned all hazy-eyed at the sight of her soft thighs. It was just a tip he was cruising for, making Ray curl over her body protectively and glare at the spotty kid.

"Can we go inside?"

"'Course, sweet girl. Just let me get those last few bags..." Ray smiled, gesturing for her to go and explore as he puffed out his chest and took all four bags in one mighty lift. As his girl skipped off to see what delights awaited inside, he strolled past Rob--Rick--River--whatever his name was with a Cheshire grin, knowing he didn't have to take the bags, but he wanted to. That kid was just a kid, and he wasn't jealous...or pretending that the luggage wasn't heavy - he just wanted to speed up the process.

With her doofus showing off to the bell boy, (y/n) stood stunned in the open living room, breathless by the elegant space. The open plan gave the kitchen and dining area a nice flow into the seating area, where a plush white sofa surrounded a solid wood coffee table. The mini bar was free - prepurchased by Ray - and they could choose to cook, dine at the five-star restaurant or phone for room service, depending on their energy.

Slipping her heels off, she walked into the airy room, noticing an enormous bed through a large archway on the right. Adjacent to a mirror, vanity unit, and wardrobe, it was big enough to fit four people. It was a mountain of duck-down and pure white Egyptian cotton that would give anyone the best night's sleep. Sleep sounded nice after so long on the plane, enduring turbulence and the constant pilot announcements, but she kept wandering.

There was a bathroom, too, complete with a walk-in shower, pool-like tub, and two his-and-hers sinks at the marble counters. Everything was gilded and polished, decorated with tasteful cultural art or paintings of sea life, making (y/n) smile at the thought of dolphins, turtles and little fishies.

Through the open arches on the back wall, she saw the deep, turquoise pool bubbling as it reflected the moonlight. It wasn't huge, but it would be fine for two people, especially when she saw an untouched, private beach just a few metres behind the shrubbery. The next villa along must've been miles away, giving them utter privacy from their neighbours--whoever they were. No one would peek over the fence to catch a glimpse of her sunbathing or spoil their relaxation by partying on the sand.

This was the Hawaii she had only read about in billionaire's magazines, and Ray had managed to get it for her. She'd make it worth his while.

"Do you need any help unpacking, ma'am?" A soft, polite voice broke through her awed daydream, snatching her gaze away from the impressive decor to see the boy - Robin or whatever - standing before her. Ray had finished his job for him, but he couldn't help being helpful, especially for someone staying in the princess suite...and for such a gorgeous lady.

"Oh, uh---"

"No, thanks, pal. My wife and I can take it from here, so why don't you get back and your golf buggy and go back to the kiddie club or wherever you work?" Before she could speak, Ray was by her side, giving the blushing kid his tightest yet cheesiest grin as he curled his arms around his sweet girl and pulled her back against his chest.

(y/n) wriggled at the intimate embrace, feeling shy as the boy looked away with a bashful, nervous giggle, but she relaxed into her doofus. She expected Ray to be handsy, recalling how he behaved on the plane and verging indecently when she said she was cold, but she understood why. Being alone sounded heavenly, meaning she did her best to give the kid her politest smile as he backed off, seeing he'd get nowhere with the lady whilst her husband was around.

Something told her that he must've been popular with the female guests.

"Are you sure that will be all, ma'am?" The kid was incessant, practically batting his eyelashes at (y/n) as she giggled, noticing how he ignored her bulky, sulking husband, who seethed behind her. If only he knew who he was talking with--whose wife he'd set his sights on...

Ray opened his mouth to give him a damn good talking, wanting to curl around his sweet girl and shield her from the leering eyes since she was too precious for such corruption. Still, she simply raised her hand to tell him to button it. There was no need to spoil their first night with a fight, and the sooner she showed him her disinterest, Ramon or whatever would go away.

"Yes, thank you. We can manage from here," she assured the boy, stroking Ray's forearm as it rested against her tummy. It seemed to calm him down, or maybe he was more interested in rubbing his slightly stubbly cheek on the top of her head to show his loving possession over his sweet girl. It placated him anyway and warded his rival off as he bowed his head and bid them goodnight.

"Very well, ma'am. Room service is available twenty-four-seven, so please, enjoy your stay and don't hesitate--"

"Yeah, yeah, we'll phone the front desk. Thank you, and goodbye!" Ray butted in sharply after he untangled himself from the heroine, using his vast size to force the kid toward the door. He was the king of subtlety, making (y/n) roll her eyes at how he roughly shook his hand, pressing a fifty-dollar bill into his palm just to get him to fuck off and leave them alone--like he'd paid for.

The door slammed shut in his face before another word could be uttered, leaving the stunned, if richer, boy standing in their front porch light, wondering if it was something he said.

Finally, they could breathe a sigh of relief. The hero turned around to see his precious girl smiling at him like she found something funny, failing to hide her laughter through her fingers as he moodily stomped over to her. He knew the beauty he married - one of the many reasons he loved her - but come on, any guy would be irate to have another bum giving her such lovestruck stares--not that there'd ever be another guy.

"You didn't have to throw him out like that, doofus. That kid was only trying to be helpful," she teased him, smoothing her flat palms up the man's chest as he huffed and pouted but looped his arms around her too.

"He was ogling my wife," he replied gruffly against her neck, instantly resuming what they'd hastily paused on Mount Swellview many hours ago. Neither wanted to think about the kids, not because they were mean or forgetting them already, but because the pain was still fresh. They were miles away and alone, but this time was supposed to be for them - fun and relaxing.

So, Ray did what he did best, running his lips up and down her throat in his best method of seduction, knowing he, for one, was dying to see her naked, preferably underneath him. And he was good at it, smiling against her soft skin when a hand pushed his face closer, encouraging him to nip and poke his tongue out--

"Uh-huh, sure. I think he was just being polite. I mean, come on, Raymond, he looked about twelve..."

"Exactly... I know how the twelve-year-old boy's mind works, darlin'. He took one look at you and thought he stood a chance," he growled, reaching around her hip to slide his hand down to her ass, grabbing fistfuls of her flouncy, lacy skirt and the soft, supple flesh hidden underneath. (y/n) chuckled, tilting her head back to allow him more space as she thought a little seduction couldn't hurt, not when his small but skilled ministrations made heat pool in her belly.

"And you know that he didn't. Not when my grumpy doofus of a husband was ready to fight everything within a half-mile radius for the right to be within three feet of me, including the mini-bar," she rolled her eyes and shook her head, relishing a few more pecks before stepping away from him.

Ray's whine was puppy-like, quickly reaching out for his sweet girl when she left his body cold and lonely just to go and look out across the balcony. Damn right, he'd show that punk who he was messing with, gazing at her sweet little body in that stunning dress before he'd even peeled it off. This was his time to indulge in everything his wife had to offer, so it made his nose wrinkle and heart weep to see her curiously exploring the space he'd rented.

The nighttime breeze was pleasant, brushing through her hair as (y/n) looked across the dimly lit pool and out to the shadowy bay. It was dark - why would she want to look? Or, that was Ray's conclusion anyway, thinking the stupid views and exploration could wait until the morning. After all, it had been a very long flight, so he hoped to have a very long night with his wife as they tested the mattress to see if it was worth paying an extra seven hundred dollars for a reinforced frame.

"Sweet girl, come back!" He whined, reaching out to grab her hand--shoulder--butt--anything before she disappeared.

"But, doofus, I wanna look around," the heroine argued as he caught her wrist and pulled her back into his chest, wanting to better understand how big the place was. It was late, and she was exhausted, but she couldn't help it, not when her rebellious streak silently dared her to go skinny dipping. She thought Ray would've enjoyed that, but he just raised an eyebrow and pouted more, looking wildly comical.

"It's dark," he said like it was obvious, glancing at the starry sky and how it hid most of the gorgeous island from view. (y/n) She shook her head and smiled, biting her tongue at his incredible deduction because she obviously knew it was dark. But she wouldn't let that stop her, not even if her silly doofus told her it was too dangerous to traverse the rocky, uneven pathways that were just begging to trip her over with a taro root.

"So? The decking is well-lit, and I think I saw a jacuzzi out there. Don't you want to relax after travelling?"

"Yeah, but I had different plans," the hero shrugged, trying to play off his desire like he wouldn't get down on his knees and beg if she asked. Call him desperate, but a man couldn't survive without his honey, and if he had to plead to taste it, he would--although, usually, he didn't have to go that far for his fill.

"Like what?" (y/n) asked innocently, acting as though she didn't feel the hand on her ass again, squeezing her cheek like he was playing the accordion. Ray looked down at her through darkened eyes, knowing that she knew--knowing she was trying to drive him insane with her teasing words and how her finger drew circles on his dark shirt. Heat struck through his loins, making him grab her hips and pull her closer until their pelvises were flush--as if that wasn't a big enough hint for what he wanted.

"You. Me. Naked. All night." Well, if you don't ask, you don't get - that was Ray's motto. (y/n)'s eyes flew to her hairline, not expecting her lover to be so bold, but she rolled with it, keeping her cool even as she subconsciously stepped closer. The jacuzzi was good, but being underneath her doofus sounded better, calling for her to spread eagle on the bed and let him do what he wanted. She was, after all, his good little wife.

"Raymond, what will the neighbours think? They'll think you're a man of loose morals if they hear you talk to a lady like that," she gasped as if his murmured confession scandalised her. Hollywood wouldn't offer her any roles any time soon, her tone a little too dramatic as she whacked his pec and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead like a fifties movie star.

He huffed at her antics, taking that hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, which led to his lips trailing down the inside of her arm as her breath hitched. She was a terrible actress, but Ray didn't care, egged on by her breathlessness and need for proximity as they danced around what was inevitable now. Honestly, he would've begged for some action if she wanted, but she was always so receptive anyway.

"There's no one around for miles, pretty girl. It's just us," he chuckled, kissing down her arm until he was back at her neck, lightly biting her jawline as he ground his hips against her stomach. Her thighs tensed and clenched at his blatant arousal, tempted to sink to her knees like a good girl and take him in her mouth there and then. The thought made her mouth water, suddenly growing pliant and needy as she thought about his unsubtle request.

But she could never resist a little teasing.

"You pitch a tempting offer...but I might just go and look at the coconut palms," she smiled sweetly, patting him on the cheek before moving to turn her back on him, of all things. It was torture, knowing she couldn't give a shit about a tree, whether it grew tasty, tropical fruit or not, but Ray was so much hotter when he was moody.

A smirk plastered across her face as an arm shot out and hooked around her waist, reeling her back against his chest as she squealed and giggled, knowing she had him. A growl turned her knees to jelly, ensuring his sweet girl wouldn't try running again now that he'd caught her, pressing his hips against her ass as his mouth came down against her ear, blowing warm air down her neck. His free hand - the one not preoccupied with keeping her against his taut body - firmly grabbed her chin, holding her face still as he bent over her, breathing heavily for a few seconds before speaking.

"Oh, no, sweet girl... I'm not letting you go tonight. You're staying in bed with me all night. Do you understand?"

"Yes...Captain," she whined, eagerly pressing her ass back into him as her voice became needy and whiny, void of any ideas about teasing. He had her right where he wanted her in a well-rehearsed method that could've named Ray a mastermind. He was always good at swaying her mind, kissing her neck a few times as his hand released her chin and ghosted down her front, barely stroking over her breast before he released her.

(y/n) gasped at the loss of contact, hating but loving how quickly he'd turned her on, knowing he could bend her over and fuck her right then and there. His seduction was short but effective, leaving her underwear sticking to her thighs and her hands shaking in mere moments, so why wouldn't he take her?

A wave of brattiness at the loss of his body had her practically stamping her foot. She looked over her shoulder with a pout to see her doofus shedding his dark jacket and neatly folding it over a chair whilst he hungrily gazed at her body. Fuck, he looked good in that shirt, which had to be at least a size too small to make his biceps and shoulders look that big and broad. And he knew what he was doing, smirking a little when she whined and squirmed, wanting something - a direction, order, suggestion - something to tell her what to do before she burst into flames.

"Good girl..." Ray hummed, undoing the first few buttons on his cuffs to roll his sleeves up his forearms, exposing inches of deliciously tanned skin, twitching tendons, and strong muscles. It was better than a striptease, making (y/n) kick off her heels and step toward him - anything to touch him.

She pulled him into a filthy kiss, running her tongue along his bottom lip as Ray eagerly reciprocated, swiftly taking dominance as she slid her hands down to his collar. Her fingers deftly worked to undo more buttons, hoping to see his chiselled torso as he groaned and explored her mouth before abruptly pulling away. Their breathing was ragged, and their lips were swollen, but (y/n) was on a mission, growling lowly in her throat when she struggled with the following button. She was too excited, wanting her husband instantly naked since he'd reminded her of how much she needed him.

It had been too long; between fighting Drex, recovering from any injuries, and coping with the next chapter of their lives, sex had been forgotten, especially since Ray refused to touch his wife's bruised body. It was a shock to the system, given how they woke up most mornings in the mood, and she was as desperate as he was - although without Ray's ulterior motive.

"Doofus..." the heroine whimpered when he pushed her hands away when she nearly had it. She'd waited thirteen years for a wedding night with him, leaving them plenty of filthy ideas to try out, yet he refused to get undressed. Was he trying to kill her?

"All in good time, darlin'," Ray promised, knowing what he was doing as if he was known for being a king of patience. "Now, as much as I love this dress on you, sweetheart, it has to go...

"Yes, Captain..."

"That's my girl..." Ray smirked, swatting her ass once as he fumbled for the zipper on the back of her dress. It was a bit fiddly, cleverly hidden under stiff fabric, so the metal didn't show. But he managed it, peeling the material apart as it exposed her soft back, becoming loose enough to shimmy down her body. He anticipated seeing her naked tits and stomach, licking his lips as he yanked down the irrelevant dress now that his fancy was elsewhere. Still, it seemed his sweet girl had a little surprise for him.

As the dress pooled around her feet, his eyes bulged out of his skull at the sight of her clad in the hottest yet daintiest set of white, lacy lingerie he'd ever seen. It pushed her tits together and trailed down her stomach, hiding and revealing everything as she innocently fluttered her eyelashes and moved the bra strap up her arm when it slipped.

Her thighs rubbed together for friction, drawing his attention south, where his gaze glued to her pretty pussy, clad in the tiniest pair of panties he'd ever seen, marred only by the wetness making the material sticky and clingy, tempting him to pull them down and clean her up.

"Fuck, that's pretty..." he groaned, rubbing his down over her stomach as she giggled, feeling nothing but beautiful under his stare as he rolled his thumb over her nipple until it was hard and straining through the thin bra. If he'd known she was hiding such sinful garments under that dress, he would've taken her sooner...maybe on the airport floor.

"Like it?" She asked with a giggle, having hidden it for weeks after an impromptu trip to the mall and a very high-end boutique. Piper begged to know what she had bought, revelling in the woman's warm cheeks and ears, but she tucked it away in a drawer where no one would find it. After all, it was meant to be a surprise.

"Think you know the answer to that, you little minx..." Ray grunted, his voice tight and strained when her hand rubbed the front of his black slacks, rolling her fingertips against his stiff length.

It was no secret that seeing his wife clad in so little lace had him hard enough to cut glass, so he upped his game, rubbing up against her and stretching and squeezing her naked flesh. If there was one thing he loved, it was her in a thong because they gave him such good access, pulling her cheeks apart as he kneaded them with little hurry.

"Will you fuck me now? Or am I not tempting enough?" She asked coyly, batting her eyelashes as Ray groaned, missing her touch when she pulled her hand away from his cock to run them over her body. The sight set his veins on fire; wanting nothing but his talent to bring her pleasure that night, he cupped her cheeks and began walking her backwards toward the bedroom.

"Bed. Now," he ordered, going to undo his shirt as she giggled, carefully walking faster until the backs of her knees hit the bed's edge. She allowed herself to tumble onto the mattress, confirming it was as soft and luxurious as it looked. Being the true pillow princess she was, (y/n) didn't have to do anything as relaxed into the cotton and tucked her arms behind her head to watch the show.

Consciously or unconsciously, Ray made a show of ridding his body of the infernal shirt, nearly ripping the last few buttons when he grew tired of doing it correctly. As he edged towards her, he shrugged the black material down his shoulders and tore it off, giving her the mouth-watering sight of his naked abs and thick pecs. God bless whoever invented working out, making her shamelessly flop her legs open as he stood next to the bed, looking every bit the Greek God he was.

He stared down at her, licking his lips as she spread her legs and rested her hands on her tummy, openly welcoming him to do whatever he pleased as long as it ended with her fluttering cunt satiated. And who was he to deny her.

Ray quickly popped his slacks open and pushed them down his meaty thighs, leaving her hungry for the cock pressed against his expensive underwear as it left a dark spot on the front. He'd never been harder, thoroughly turned on by the knowledge that he was staring at his wife as she waited for him to fuck her. He might have been on the brink of discovering a kink, getting off on the fact that he'd made her his wife and had God's gift to mankind all to himself for eternity.

"Don't just stand there, doofus. I need you..." (y/n) whined, breaking him out of his daydream to see her head tilted back against the pillows and her previously idle fingertips sliding toward her soaked panties. He tutted at the sight, reaching to stop her before she could draw any self-pleasure. Anything she felt would come from him, meaning he quickly joined her on the bed, crawling up the mattress like a wolf hunting its prey.

"Don't touch what's mine, sweet girl..." he warned lowly, laying on his front as he kissed her clothed clit, making her mewl for more when his tongue flickered over the sensitive nub.

"This pretty little pussy is mine, understand?" He asked gruffly, slinging an arm over her stomach so her hips couldn't move. She could writhe, whine, beg, or thrash, but under Captain Man's bulk, there was no moving, just taking whatever he did or didn't give as he groaned at the faint taste reaching his tongue through her soaked thong.

"Yes..."

"In here, you are mine, sweet girl. You will do what I say and take whatever the fuck I give you because I know you love it. I'll make this lush little body shake when you scream and beg for more..." the hero said darkly, making her tremble as he affectionately rubbed his cheek against her hip, so she could feel his stubble scratching her skin.

She nodded feverishly, agreeing wholeheartedly because he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, and she loved it--she'd learnt that much in the time they'd dated. She wanted to succumb to his dominance and control, not because he owned her, but because he knew her. And she knew he'd keep her perfectly safe as he fucked her into the springs.

"But out there..." Ray murmured, glancing over his shoulder at the open doors giving the room its breeziness as it led to the open world.

"Out there, you own me, darlin'. I'm yours. I'm gonna take care of you forever..."

"Fuck, Ray--fuck me already!" (y/n) cried, tightly holding his shoulders as he kissed along her squishy thighs, teasingly dipping her fingertips under her waistband like he was gonna pull the panties down her legs and feast on her wet cunt. But he didn't, too busy sucking fleeting bruises into her flesh as he kept her legs pinned beside his head. He tutted and sharply bit her thigh, earning a squeal from his beloved wife as she pulled his hair, begging him to undress her properly. The lingerie was pretty, but now, it was in the way, making her feel trapped in the tiny panties.

"Patience, darlin'..." he crooned, laving over her pussy in what was as much a tease for him as it was for her. He'd love to bury his face between her thighs until she couldn't take anymore, but he didn't want to rush. They'd only get one night like this, one first time as husband and wife in the throes of passion, and he tried to make it memorable.

"Don't tell me to be patient! I want you to fuck me...need it. Can't you see how wet I am for you?" (y/n) whimpered but stared at him invitingly, biting her lip, fluttering her eyelashes, licking her lips, and squirming--every trick in the book to try and entice him. She even stretched to cupping her breast and moaning, throwing her head against the pillows like she did when he filled her repeatedly, making Ray swallow thickly, watching how her chest heaved.

"Shit, sweet girl... You know I want you," he conceded, thinking his desire was evident--constant, given how he could never leave her alone. His hand reached to take hers, pulling it away from her tits to kiss her fingertips, the ones that brought self-pleasure when he wanted to be solely responsible for that job.

"So, why don't you?" (y/n) asked moodily, wrinkling her nose like a child as her doofus took his time trailing his nose's tip from thigh to thigh and over her stomach. Crawling up her body, he palmed her tits and messily left kisses along her collarbones, dawdling for some reason known only to him. She accepted his kiss when he reached her mouth, languidly exploring her honeyed taste until she grew too impatient, pathetically thumping his shoulders, making him smirk.

Ray knew what he was doing; he might not have known much, but he knew how to make her squirm.

"Let me make love to my wife. Let me savour this time, and I promise I'll ruin this needy cunt after..." he whispered, brushing his hand over her forehead to push back stray hairs before gently pecking the skin there.

(y/n) didn't know how he did it. How could a man be so tender yet so filthy simultaneously? She instantly felt the shift in the room, forgetting her brattiness to sink into the pillows as sensual energy surrounded them, forsaking any need to tear clothes and go at it like rabbits. It was slightly strange, given that Ray, whilst a very generous lover, tended to prefer rougher, faster fucks than something slow and steady. She didn't mind that since he knew how to leave her breathless and sated, but she'd be a liar if she claimed to not tear up at his words.

Her doofus made it sound so special, trailing his knuckles down her cheekbone like she was made of glass--the most precious thing in the world. He looked down at her with the softest blue eyes she'd ever seen, becoming jelly-like in his embrace as Ray blanketed his sweet girl with his body.

"Ray..." she murmured, feeling like she would cry when her arms reached under the ones beside her head to hug him closer. Tonight, he would be her doofus, her beloved Ray, her husband, not the Captain everyone else knew him as.

As her lips found his skin, suckling imaginary bruises where she could, he worked on reaching around her back to unhook the bra. The hero chuckled when his pretty girl hung off his body, unwilling to let go even when he wanted her perfect tits free, and that wasn't easy when she kept distracting him. But he managed it, fiddling the catch until he could peel it down her arms and throw it somewhere unimportant - a plant pot or something.

Next, he pulled her underwear down, aware her chest was sensitive and ripe for playing with, but he just had to see her naked. There was no prettier sight than his wife underneath him, wearing nothing but moonlight and her wedding rings, making him harder than stone. A grumble left (y/n)'s throat when he momentarily pushed her away to hold her hips in the air, yanking down the lacy panties and throwing them over his shoulder too.

At last, she was bare, looking like an angel as she stared up at him, reaching for his shoulders again since she couldn't stand to have him so far away. A hand came over her ribs to fondle her tit, rubbing his thumb over her nipple as Ray watched her eyelids flutter, missing his utterly besotted smile as he leaned down for another kiss. He couldn't get enough.

"I love you, (y/n)..." he whispered against her lips, meaning it with all his heart as she cupped his cheeks and kissed him, drowning in happy tears - whilst her rings caught the light and sparkled.

"I love you, too," she replied instantly, feeling his cock brushing against her stomach as he smothered her with his immense bulk. But, for now, she ignored it, not wanting to ruin the moment with her neediness as he pecked and blew raspberries on her cheeks - anything to make her laugh. His shoulder shook mirthfully, resting his forehead against hers as she unsubtly bucked her hips, rubbing against what she desperately craved.

"Please, doofus... Want you inside."

"You don't want to eat this sweet cunt, darlin'? But it's my favourite part..." Ray frowned, also not wanting to ruin the moment with a minor disagreement, but part of him couldn't help but deflate at the news that they were skipping the foreplay.

It was true; he could spend hours between her legs and happily go without anything if it meant getting a taste to satiate his addiction. He loved it all; taste, smell, sounds, feeling of her thighs quivering around his ears - it gave him a purpose, and he was damn good at it. His precious wife would attest to that.

"I believe you said you'd ruin me later..." (y/n) replied, smirking, only to lose any smugness when his fingers appeared at her soaked folds, brushing through them like a teaser for what was to come. Just the thought of lying back and letting him feast to his heart's content made her opening flutter, which Ray definitely sensed as he slowly, mercilessly, almost cruelly circled her clit with a featherlight touch.

"Doesn't mean I don't want you to soak my face..."

"We're here for three weeks, doofus. We have time, and right now, I want my husband's cock inside me..." she said sternly, gripping his chin between her forefinger and thumb, but a sparkle in her eye said it wasn't malicious. Ray gulped at her words, feeling his length bob in his underwear as she sank deeper into the duck-down pillows, staring through her lashes like a vixen when that word fell from her lips.

She'd married a pious man; he worshipped at her altar, getting down on his knees for his penance faster than most men before their wives. He happily devoted his life to her, seeing heaven when he had her like this, and it got worse when she begged, lips against her ear, nails digging into his biceps, legs sliding around his waist.

"Please..." his angel pleaded, enjoying his weight on top of her, but she had to stop the emptiness inside her, thinking she'd gone too long without it. He screwed his eyes shut for a second, needing a second to collect his cool before nodding weakly, gulping and giving in because he couldn't say no. The great Captain Man was one of the strongest men on Earth, resistant to every villainous temptation in the world, but he could never deny his sweet girl anything, especially not when she was begging for his cock.

So, he clumsily hooked his fingers under the waistband and tugged his underwear down, aided by the woman underneath him as she pushed them over his pelvis, so he could kick them off. His cock bobbed in the air so hard it stood straight, perpendicular to his smooth abs, as he pushed his hips down. The underside met her wet slit, making them both groan as he slowly dragged it through her heat, teasing them in replacement of foreplay, even though she'd been dripping since that damned plane ride.

"So...beautiful for me, sweetheart..." he choked, realising how wound up he was as her hips undulated for more, hoping he'd show mercy and slide home.

From head to toe, they were pressed together, skin on skin, wearing nothing but their wedding bands as Ray took himself in hand and slid his bulbous head to gather her wetness. As much as his better judgement wilted, he couldn't bring himself to rummage through their luggage for the lube he'd bought from a...questionable store. He would be mad to leave a sexual goddess like her alone in bed, waiting for him to fuck her, so he hoped she'd forgive his impatience, not knowing she craved the burn and stretch.

"Inside, doof...inside..." (y/n) chanted, reaching between her legs to wrap her fingers around his cock, notching him at her entrance as he dipped in her slick.

"I got you, darlin'. Anything for my wife..." The hero nodded, knowing he couldn't leave her wishes unattended, so he pushed forward, angling his cock slightly upwards as it brushed against the first inch of her walls, pulling her apart like always--as if they'd never fucked.

"Oh, fuck--feels--feels so good--"

"Oh, fuck--that's good." "T-Tight--so tight for m-me," they groaned together, clinging to each other for dear life as the emotion swept over them, mingling with the pleasure of becoming one. Tears sprung from the corners of their eyes, making him moan roughly and sigh as he pushed in, relaxing against her body whilst fighting the urge to jackhammer into her.

Something about her being his wife turned him feral like he'd succeeded against every other fool vying for her hand. Knowing that this was their endgame--that he was the last man who'd ever feel her like this made him want to lose control, pin her down and leave her body like a shrine to his claim. She'd bear his loving offerings when the time was right, but for now, he gritted his teeth and waited until he bottomed out, feeling like he was seconds away from cumming.

He should've had more restraint, given that he was too impatient, selfish, and needy around her to delay until their wedding night. If he was any more of a man, he would've waited and savoured the moment, but he didn't have that much self-control--and honestly, neither did (y/n). So, it should've been boring after how many times he'd taken her, sometimes several times a day in all manner of ways, but this felt like the first. He felt like a teenager again; she was the girl he swore he'd love forever, more than one fling for a prom.

"Move, Ray. Need--need--"

"Shhhhhh..." he soothed her keening moans, rocking into her slightly, just a minuscule jerk to make her gasp. Her face was screwed in pleasure, clenching so tightly around him it was almost painful from how wound up they both were. Ray just knew his sweet girl was in her head, dying for a good, rough fucking that would last mere seconds, but he knew she'd last for this. It was just a matter of soothing her.

"Relax, sweet girl. Let me take care of you--make you feel so good 'cause you're my good little girl... My perfect girl."

(y/n) nodded, taking a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart and loosen her muscles. Instead of running toward her high, she focused on the moment and the man gently moving inside her. He tore up sweet heaven inside her, wrapping her arms around her body as he thrust deeply, shallowly, hitting all the right spots but at an agonisingly tender pace.

She held him, too, tasting the salt on his skin as the room superheated from the friction of skin-on-skin, filled with the wet sounds of his cock driving into her cunt.

It drove Ray half-mad, staying at the slow pace as his open mouth panted hot air across her forehead, where his squeezed-shut eyes and knitted brow helped him feel everything. Through the pleasure, (y/n) heard his mumblings, which sounded more like he was talking to himself than her, between every grunt.

"Fuck--right where I belong!" "C-Can't believe you're mine. How did--how did I get so lucky?" "Love you every day." "Make love to you every day--so you know...I love you."

She smiled at his words, raking her nails down his back as molten heat surged through her veins. Ray sensed it, reaching down to rub slow, tight circles around her clit to push her over the edge and feel her walls tighten - nothing made him prouder than knowing he made her cum. Her first high was gentle but intensely satisfying, leaving her mewling and digging her manicured nails, raking down the muscly expanse of skin, making him hiss.

It burned so pleasantly, pulling a brutal thrust from his control that had her choking after the sensitivity of the small but powerful orgasm. He quickly regained his composure, grunting an apology as he fought to stop pounding into her, even though it made his sweet girl hold him tighter.

"This little pussy just loves to be fucked hard, huh?" He asked coldly, chuckling when she nodded frantically--as if that would make him move faster.

"But you can take it like this, right? My wife can take me any time, any way, right?"

"Uh-huh...just like my husband will always make me cum first--right?" (y/n) replied with a grin, tilting her head back as he kissed, licked and sucked across her neck, biting down where he pleased since it made her tighten around him, squeezing his cock like a vice. She was warm, snug and impossibly wet after cumming, making him lose himself. as he growled at her words.

"Damn straight, sweetheart. At least twice. Always."

"You're every girl's dream, doofus," the woman giggled as he doubled his efforts, upping the pace slightly whilst keeping his thrusts soft. But it was true; anyone would sell their left kidney to have a husband as considerate and kind as him, with the same prowess. Three to one was Ray's golden ratio, leaving her with jelly legs yet utterly satisfied every time they fucked--and that was often.

"True..." The hero smirked smugly, lapping up her praise like the bigheaded doofus he was, and it made her whack his shoulder weakly as his fingers returned to her clit. He knew that after bagging so many girls over the years, there was only one he truly loved, and it was his privilege to be between her legs.

"But you're my girl, and I'm not a dream. Fuck--you make me weak."

"You won't be the sore one in the morning..." (y/n) moaned as another high built in her core, spurred by his fingers dancing over her flesh. Her slickness made them slippery, effortlessly passing over her clit over and over as he sucked her tit and ran his tongue over her nipple.

Nothing made him prouder than seeing her waddling after a good rough session, but it was often short-lived. Other girls felt it for days after, but (y/n) was lucky if she had hours to feel the ghost of her lover in her pussy with every step she took. Her super-regeneration often Soothed her muscles before Ray could bask in the knowledge that anyone could work out that he brought her endless pleasure. He hoped he'd see it when they woke.

"Yeah? You gonna cum again, darlin'? 'Cause I don't want you walkin' in the morning."

"So good--kiss me, Ray..." she begged, ignoring his teasing and smugness when her cunt fluttered, aching to release around him. His fingers quickened on her nub, and who was he to deny his precious girl's request?

He bent down and swallowed her moans, rolling his hips to give each pump of his cock a slight grind, finding that sweet spot with expert precision. She wailed into his mouth, shuddering in the safety of his arms as Ray breathed deeply, puffing out his cheeks as his stomach tensed, threatening to fill her before he'd completed his goal. His caveman instincts told him to ruin her, and that's what he aimed for, hoping to wring her dry with three orgasms.

He doubled his efforts as the first died down, leaving her twitching and delirious from the oxygen his lips stole. Finally, his thrusts grew rougher, rushing to build her next orgasm since his tight balls and prickling skin suggested he couldn't hold out any longer. It wouldn't take much, not when she was so sensitive from the last, chasing his thrusts with her undulating hips, but he hoped to God he didn't lose it.

And she didn't make it easy.

"Fuck me so good, doofus... Gonna cum in me?"

"Y-yeah--fuck, yeah, darlin'. Just g-gimme a few--" Ray gasped, trying to ignore the minx beneath him and her tempting, sinful whispers. He always thought she was so pure and innocent until he got her like this, discovering she could make him cum faster than anyone he'd been with before--with just a few words and a squeeze on his cock.

But (y/n) wouldn't be defeated, knowing her third and final orgasm was inevitable with her lover finally fucking her, she felt it. The signs of him chasing his end were the sloppiness and uneven pace that satisfied his needs more than hers - self-indulgence. And being the mischievous succubus she was, she couldn't help but lull him into sin, teasing him with every preference, kink and weakness she knew.

"Fill me up--want it. Want it dripping from me all night, leaking from my pussy."

"Keep talking like that, and I won't--you won't-- want you to cum again, sweetheart," her doofus stammered as her words fucked with his mind, sending stabs of heat through his loins. He had to leave her fulfilled, but God, if she wasn't pushing his limits. And she didn't stop there, seeing that she'd caught him even if he tried to stay in control.

"And I want to be fucked full, doofus. Need you deep inside me, and maybe this time it'll take." It was a low blow, but it worked. Ray groaned gruffly, wrapping a large hand around her throat as his hips jumped from their own volition.

He knew what she was talking about and cursed when he told her how deeply he wanted kids with her. The thought of making them both parents, of creating a perfect person, half doofus and half sweet girl, made his head swim and cock rock-solid. She'd be a mom, and nothing sounded hotter than his wife with fuller hips, thighs, and tits--fuck, she played dirty.

"Shit--no--can't talk like that, darlin'," the hero garbled, losing himself in her trembling walls and the possibility of watching her swell because of him--no.

He couldn't think like that when they agreed they wanted to be settled and secure before introducing a child to their hectic lives. But fuck, if it didn't make him want to try. There was no harm in imagining it--his true purpose was caring for his soulmate and child as he craved.

"Cum in your wife, Ray. Cum for me." But (y/n) didn't care.

She sucked his earlobe into his mouth and tightened her walls like a vice, milking Ray for all he had. That had him; he fell for her hook, line, and sink as she played her wife's card and held him close, biting a hickey below his neck as the first of his cum painted her insides. That brought forth her own orgasm, brief but intense, making them cry out together as his pelvic bone touched hers, locking them together.

Pushed as far into her as possible, Ray growled and fucked her further into the mattress, wanting his seed to reach the deepest parts of her. His gaze met where their bodies joined, thinking that there was a teeny-tiny possibility that it could happen this time as he relaxed into her softness.

"You'll be the death of me, sweet girl..." he said breathlessly, staying inside her whilst he regained his breath. She welcomed his weight, enjoying his tacky skin and endless warmth as he pecked her lips and smiled. She knew he was thinking the same thing when she hummed at how pleasantly full she felt, even if it was more of a dream than a plan.

"If you go, I'm following you, Raymond. You're not getting rid of me now," (y/n) replied firmly, finding his left hand to stroke his wedding ring, falling in love with how the thick golden band fitted so snugly.

It gave him an air of maturity and stability that screamed domesticity and called to her lesser instincts. Her perfect husband would take care of her, love her, and keep her safe for the rest of her days--it made her want to doze in his arms and forsake all her worries to be his little wife.

"Good. I want you with me forever, darlin'. Love you so much..." Ray grinned cutely, kissing her rings, too, as he imagined dying whilst buried to the hilt in her pussy. There was no better way to go, but he'd never leave his sweet girl, not when his heart fits perfectly into the palm of her hand.

"I love you, doofus. Thank you for all of this--it was the perfect end to our wedding."

"Night's still young, sweet girl. And I want you on your hands and knees and screaming my name by the end of it..." he promised, rubbing her hip as she giggled and stretched. Her walls pulled on his cock, making him grunt and lightly slap her ass since he meant it when he said he'd ruin her.

This would be a night they'd never forget, and he wanted her thoroughly worshipped by the early hours. It would be a long night if nothing else.

"Gonna clean me up?" (y/n) asked, smirking as he leaned on his forearms, pulling out of her cunt to encourage her to turn onto her tummy. He pulled her ass up so it wiggled in the air - perfectly presented for a midnight feast.

"Anything for my wife."

~The next morning~

*literally the perfect reference for how these two sleep^^^--the closer, the better. Sometimes (y/n) is nearly laying on her doofus and it's why he wakes up...needy.*

Golden daylight filtered into the room as the happy couple snoozed. After a night in each other's arms, staying awake until the early hours screaming to the heavens, they slept in past breakfast.

The hour must've been ten or later when (y/n) 's eyes fluttered open, and she could've easily napped longer if it wasn't for the sun flitting over her face. She rolled over onto her back with a groan, throwing the crook of her elbow over her face as a makeshift sleep mask. Still, there was something to smile about - the silkiness of the sheets against her naked skin and the equally nude body next to her.

Cracking an eye open, her sleepy brain paused upon seeing her surroundings. She was confused by the palm trees she spotted through the glassless window and the bright, airy room around her, unlike the cosy yet dark bedroom in the Man Cave. Sitting up, she held the silk sheet against her chest and scanned the room, the previous night's activities returning to warm her ears and cheeks.

God, they'd been filthy, rolling around and soiling the pristine set during multiple rounds - so many she couldn't remember the exact amount. Four?--she seemed to remember, but it could've been more or less. Either way, it left her utterly exhausted and deliciously sore, muscles aching in a manner she wasn't used to after so many years of super-regeneration.

Throwing the sheet back, her legs swung over the edge of the bed, not because it was time to get up and be productive - a repulsive thought whilst on vacation - but because a glass of water sounded divine. Of course, her doofus took care of her, bringing her sustenance after her sixth high, but that was hours ago.

So, she braced herself against the plush mattress and moved to stand, groaning lightly at her sore body when a hand curled around her wrist and pulled her back down.

"Where do you think you're going, sweet girl?" Ray's rough voice asked, making her look over her shoulder to see her doofus' silly face poking out from under the sheets with his hair all fluffy and ruffled. His eyes were creased and puffy from sleep as he through the quilt off, revealing his toned chest and Adonis' belt.

"I'm thirsty, doof..." she replied, smiling at her lover when he scratched his clavicle with his ring hand and rubbed his face. He looked adorable--almost worth staying with if it wasn't a five-step trip to the en-suite with her glass.

"You're not allowed to leave this bed, remember? I don't want you lifting a finger, darlin'," he said grumpily, casting her mind back to the loving snarl he proclaimed in the middle of the night.

She didn't take it too seriously, knowing he expected to wait on her hand and foot, carrying her around like a queen, hand-feeding her, and fetching whatever her heart desired. He was determined to take care of her as he promised, even if it grew a little much when the hero said he wanted her to stay in bed for the next three weeks.

"I can get water, Raymond."

"Let me get it for you," he offered, instantly sitting up as he pulled her back to the mattress and pillows, smiling when her body bounced on the springs. (y/n) huffed, half annoyed by his silly obsession and half enamoured by the sight of his bare butt wiggling out of the room.

"Such a doofus..." She murmured to herself, laughing silently at the sound of some bangs and clanks in what she assumed was the mini kitchenette she saw last night.

Only Ray would run off buck-ass nude to fetch a simple glass of water, and it wouldn't be plain, old tap like she was planning on. No--the man skipped back a couple minutes later, a tall, condensation-covered glass of filtered water, complete with ice and a wedge of lemon, in hand. He was so extra and brazen, totally unashamed of his nakedness, especially when her hungry gaze took in his fit body, making her gulp.

He knew what he did to her, strutting like a peacock as he approached with her sorely craved drink.

"Here you go, Mrs Manches--" he crooned, giving his love a smarmy, besotted smile as he returned to her side, reaching the bed's edge and leaning over to pass her the glass when he spotted something. Ray paused mid-sentence, freezing like a statue as (y/n) looked up in confusion.

"Doofus, what's wrong?"

"Oh, my sweet girl..." His eyes darkened as he dumped the glass on the bedside table, uncaring when the contents sloshed over the sides, chinking the ice cubes together.

Ray wasn't bothered, more concerned with joining his wife on the bed, knees planted into the mattress next to her as he hovered over her body, inspecting it. She squirmed under his gaze, not embarrassed but concerned since his face seemed screwed up in pain or fury. He looked mad, but his icy fingertips were gentle as they traced her collarbones and neck.

The touch made her shiver, giggling from the ticklish sensation and a few nerves that spawned from his intense stare, causing her to wonder if she had done something wrong. He gulped, practically drooling as he gazed at something she couldn't see, which wasn't like his usual arousal. After all, whilst he loved seeing her naked, it was nothing he hadn't seen before, adding to her bewilderment.

"Seriously, Ray... what's wrong?" She asked, taking his hand into hers as he shook his head slightly to snap his mind back to the present. Whatever it was made him lose it for a minute.

"Darlin', you--I--lemme show you," Ray stammered, not knowing how to say it because it had never happened before. They'd shared many morning afters, which were nearly identical, usually starting with sleepy, cosy sex and a much-needed shower. However, this was different, but not in a wrong way - God, it made him throb.

Without another word - not that he could find the right ones - Ray reached to grab his phone from the nearby table, where he'd thrown it down the night before with his keys, some loose change, and wallet. He hadn't bothered to charge it, so he quickly snatched it to his body, fumbling to open the camera app and flip its screen to the inner lense.

He passed it to his precious girl, making her frown since she wasn't one for staring at her bedhead, no matter how much he said he loved her in the morning. But (y/n) did as he said, taking the camera and checking her appearance since something had caught her eye.

Yep, she looked awful. Makeup clung to her skin in smeared patches, gathered on her lash line, and rimmed her lips in a ring of faded rouge. Not even Piper's lewk could withstand a night of kissing, blowjobs and rough fucking, and neither could Charlotte's handiwork. Her hair was like a bird's nest, making her wonder what he was on about unless she looked so terrible it wanted a strong reaction.

But this was her doofus, and he wasn't so shallow as to mock her smudged makeup, so what was it?"

"Okay, what am I meant to be looking at? 'Cause all I see is my pores, panda eyes, and--oh." Oh, indeed.

Angling the camera to catch every contour of her face, (y/n) muttered incoherently as she made a note to scrub her face well when they got up--and call room service to change her pillowcase, but that's when she saw it. It wasn't her face or hair, but her neck, the soft stretch of skin that Ray loved nipping and sucking in the throes of passion.

Usually, they never stayed awake long enough or focused hard enough to see the bruises formed in the perfect shape of his lips...until now. Scattered across her skin were dozens of hickeys, ranging from tiny to massive, light and dark, some gathered in clusters and others more random from when Ray wasn't concentrating.

It didn't stop there; she could follow the trail down her stomach, giggling as she remembered how her doofus kissed down her tummy to her cunt, and fuck, if his marks didn't make it flutter.

"Holy shit, doof..." she chuckled, feeling slightly naughty as he gulped and touched the bruises, recalling every instance he blemished her skin. He'd never seen it before, shocked by how something so simple and commonplace could turn his blood to fire, but this was his sweet girl. He'd never seen her bearing his love bites - it was filthy.

"I know, darlin'. Fuck, you look so hot," Ray growled, kissing a few bruises and running his tongue over them, making her giggle as she stared at the phone. Strangely, he was right; as much as it was every mother's nightmare to see her daughter looking...ravaged, she loved it. Anyone and everyone would see her on Ray's arm and know what they'd done...and that had her pussy dripping like nothing else.

"I guess when Schwoz said our powers aren't back to one hundred per cent, he meant it, huh?"

"I wish we could stay like this...look so pretty covered in my marks," Ray mused, imagining how perfect it would be to see evidence every time they fucked. It awakened a new ferocity inside him, taunting him to forsake his protectiveness just to keep her bare and bruised in his bed. Maybe it was his need and want to stay in paradise where they could pass their days with sun, sea, and sex - his favourite with his sweet girl.

"Miss Danger says otherwise, Raymond," (y/n) replied softly, rubbing his smooth jaw tenderly as he sighed, knowing she was right.

Eventually, they'd leave this place and return to their crazy lives. He wouldn't take her into battle without the utmost protection, which meant this would be a one-time treat, something he'd only see once to fulfil his dirty desires. They had a week at most before their powers returned, and he was determined to make the most of it...until an idea popped into his head.

It was dirty and daring, but that's why Ray loved it. Nothing much, just something to warm his soul on long, lonely nights when God forbid, his sweet girl wasn't around to warm him with her scorching heat around his cock. He only needed to ask.

"Can I--Could I--Can I take a picture, darlin'? Please?" He asked tentatively, knowing the implications of what he wanted. But seeing her clutching the PearPhone and catching a glimpse of her sultry expression and mottled skin on the screen convinced him - he'd die a happy man if he could see her beauty like this forever.

(y/n) paused, licking her lips slowly as she contemplated his words, understanding the faith she'd have to put in his hands to warrant something so risky. A flutter of irrational nervousness bloomed in her chest, unwanted yet impossible to ignore—she trusted him, God—the things she let him do to her, of course, she did. But common sense won out if only to ask...

"Promise you won't—" (y/n) trailed off quietly, a rumble of understanding coming from Ray in place of his usual cockiness.

It was rare for him to see her timid and unsure whilst underneath him, and he saw how she pressed the camera to her chest, too scared to chance accidentally snapping a nude pic. His precious girl... he'd never wanted to hurt or frighten her, turning him squishy and loving.

"Never, sweet girl. I don't share. No one will ever see them," the hero promised, understanding the confidence she gave him not to ruin her reputation and make her a laughing stock. He would never, but this would be her at her most vulnerable - it was his privilege to be trusted so deeply.

And she believed him. For all his aggression and arrogance on the streets, fighting scum—Ray was utterly loyal to those he loved, uniquely protective in exchange for nothing more than someone was willing to give. He proved a hundred times over that he'd rather die than see her hurt. He barely allowed men to leer at her in the grocery store, let alone in such an alluring position – it was enough to inspire her following actions.

"Okay, just...give me a minute," the woman giggled nervously. Ray backed off as she settled into the pillows to capture the best angle, bathed in natural light and a faint glow from the room's warmth.

She rearranged herself on the bed, her head on the soft pillows to easily relax against them and tilt her body upwards. The air kissed her feverish skin, nipples tightening further under its caress. It felt almost... dirtier to do this under his all-seeing, hungry gaze, thrilling to be so exposed. Ray lapped it up as he watched her raise the phone above her to include her pretty face, gorgeous tits, stomach, and the apex of her thighs all in one.

The photo was sinful, making her heart pound and her thighs clench.

Did she really look like that?

The bright sunlight streaking through the chiffon drapes illuminated her soft tummy and the contours of her breasts – shadows dipping and falling over marked skin and hardened nipples. It highlighted the curve of her hips and the sinful V between her thighs, where Ray happily settled himself. He could see how wet she was, but he couldn't take his eyes off her face - a lot for a man between his dream girl's legs, growing hard when she snapped a few pics without a second thought.

"Fucking hell, sweetheart. Have I ever told you how fucking sexy you are?" Ray groaned, stroking her thighs as he lay between them and rested his chin on her pubic mound, looking like a soft-eyed puppy as she posed in a sultry manner.

"Once or twice, doofus," (y/n) giggled, flicking through the pics she'd taken and deciding that she didn't look half bad as the girl on the phone stared up at the camera and flaunted her figure and the dark circles covering it. She agreed; she looked hot, but they weren't for her use...

"What do you think?"

"Shit...fuck, these are gonna get me off so hard," Ray cursed when she handed him his PearPhone. He nearly had a heart attack as he saw her angelic form captured forever for him and only him to see.

He quickly saved them to a private folder hidden in the depths of his cell, locking them in a password-protected folder just to be sure that even if someone found them, they'd have to work damn hard to see.

"Your tits look pretty enough to bite, darlin'. And this..." the man growled, resting his hand over her pussy as she grinned, loving the effect a simple photo had over him. Maybe she should invest in a Polaroid camera...

"Fuck, can I take a picture of your pussy? Your thighs are just as bruised, sweet girl..." Ray gloated but shyly met her eye as he moved his fingers down her slit to where he'd sucked the jelly-like flesh of her legs when he'd eaten her out hours earlier. He loved leaving proof of his presence behind lest someone else neared what was his--not that they ever would.

He was the only one allowed so close, but still, he had to ask.

"I swear, I'll never--"

"Do it, doofus...but I want your cock after," (y/n) said with a smirk, loving how respectful and cute he was as he asked like a good boy.

It was a fair exchange in her mind. Ray thoroughly agreed, furiously nodding as he shuffled back, propped up on his elbows with his phone between her legs, ready to snap the opposite view.

She sucked in a breath, a coiled tension low in her stomach forcing a trickle of wetness from her cunt—making slick folds soaked as she refrained from rubbing her thighs together uselessly. It was exhilarating and almost impossible to stay still knowing her doofus was staring at--critically analysing--photographing her most intimate area. Still, she did her best to look as sexy as he thought she was.

"Yeah? You wanna get fucked?"

"I think you know the answer to that," the heroine grinned, tweaking her nipples to total hardness for the pic, making her throw her head back and moan as pleasure shot to her core.

"Fuck yeah, I do."

Ray quickly captured the glorious sight, feeling his stone length grind against the sheets from the sheer eroticism. Her fun pushed her chest into the air, partially hiding her face but highlighting the hickeys on her tummy as he groaned, loving every minute. The angle was perfect--almost professional--as the camera focused on her soaked folds and marked thighs that trailed to her twin peaks and sexy pout.

He had never approved such photos before, deeming them immoral and dangerous in the wrong hands, but this felt...okay. He'd never do it with another woman, but their trust ran deep, and they felt safe in the confines of marriage. They had no need to share or seek revenge, just a little fun in case they needed a quick release.

"So fucking hot, sweet girl...show me that pretty face," he growled after finishing between her thighs, shuffling up her body for his final wish.

He wanted a couple of those doe-like eyes and soft lips staring into the lens--his soul. He'd stare at that in his final moment before completion, imagining her mouth around his cock, swallowing his load, or how her eyelashes would flutter if he painted her face with his cum. The thought made his length throb against her stomach, and she grinned as she smiled into the camera.

"That's my girl..." the man cooed as she bit her lip, pouted, and poked out her pink tongue--every seductive expression she could think of that he might like.

"Yeah? Do I look cute and fuckable?"

"Like a little minx, darlin'... No wonder I can't keep my hands off you," Ray grinned, satisfied with how many pics he had, so he leaned down to gently kiss her. His tongue languidly pushed into her mouth, exploring leisurely as she moaned and melted, letting him do as he pleased, the camera forgotten.

"Fuck me, then. You don't need those pictures when I'm dripping for you right now..."

"Shit... If only people knew what you're like, baby," Ray snarled mockingly, seeing how she smirked when he did as she said anyway, but he was too far gone.

"They'd never think such a sweet girl was so fucking dirty."

He spoiled her too much - what made her so demanding, but who would deny an angel of her wish? Not him, and not when he ached so severely, so he took himself in hand and rubbed his bulbous head through her folds. She was so fucking slick, convincing him that it was their combined release from the previous night that he was coating himself in.

"You want them to know? To see?" (y/n) teased, cupping her tits and rubbing her palms against her nipples teasingly as he lubed his cock. She licked her lips, tempting him with her best tricks to try and seduce him, desperately craving his thickness inside her after posing for him.

"No. You're mine."

"I know...and you're mine. So, fuck me," she replied firmly, threading her fingers through his hair to pull his head back, exposing his throat. It was a technique she'd learnt from him, giving her perfect access to attach her lips to a patch of skin beside his Adam's apple.

Ray groaned as she sucked a bruise and left indentations with her teeth, delighted by the result since his indestructibility clearly wasn't back to normal either. Usually, she couldn't burst any blood vessels or break his skin, merely give him the pleasure of laving at the salty taste, so this was as much a treat for her as it was for him.

"You look pretty too, doof. Want me to mark you up?"

"Fuck, yes..." Ray groaned, picturing himself standing before the mirror with a purple trail down his neck. It would be even better if it was accompanied by her lipstick - red, maybe? - but that was an idea for later.

Tucking it away, he focused on his beloved wife, placing his tip at her entrance and pushing into her blazing heat as the phone fell from his hand to land next to her head.

"Always feel so big--" (y/n) whined, digging her fingernails into his scalp and bicep as he filled her, stretching her walls, despite fucking her over and over for hours last night. Ray kissed and ran his tongue over her jaw, whispering sweet words when he bottomed out, balls pressed against dripping pussy.

"Gonna split you open on my cock, precious girl—leave you bruised from how hard I fuck you," he grunted, beginning to fuck into her when she nodded to move. He swiftly set a relentless pace; gone was his tender lovemaking, and they were back to what they loved - a good, rough fucking, wrapped in each other's arms.

"Feel how deep I am?--Love—love how that greedy little pussy sucks me in."

She nodded pathetically, moving her arms around his back and holding him close. Her nails dug into his toned flesh and raked toward his ass, jerking with every earth-shattering thrust he made. The man hissed at the sensation, revealing his throat for her to suckle on, leaving marks he'd proudly wear wherever she pleased.

"Feel me in here? Feel how deep my cock is, sweetheart?"

"So deep--so big--feels so good," she whimpered into his neck when he pressed his hand down on her stomach, making it feel like his cock was punching through her stomach and into her throat.

He moved fluidly as she scratched his back, leaving angry red lines for admiring later. The base of his cock ground against her clit with each aggressive thrust, making her moan and gasp a stream of filth as she gushed around him, welcoming him deeper. The contact with the sensitive nerves brought forth her elusive release, and she forfeited scraping the left side of his body to circle it with two fingers.

"That's it--rub that pretty little clit. Soak me, darlin'--make this cunt nice and wet for me," Ray babbled, pounding into her as she threw her head back and screamed, following his command like his good little wife.

She came around him, tightening her walls, making him groan and bite down on her collarbone--another blemish for the collection.

He didn't stop, fucking her through her orgasm, despite her whimpers that it was too much. He knew she'd take more--she always did--so he slowed down briefly to more of a grind, hitching her leg over his hip to get deeper. The intense bliss was one hell of a drug, that sort of animalistic rut, that carnal desire – unbridled and embraced – as they fucked each other into exhaustion.

"Fuck me so good, Ray--why don't you take a video?"

And just like that, she broke him. Ray's game was flawless, and he seldom missed a beat, but her whispered offer made him stutter and turn sloppy.

Fuck, he had to be dreaming because nothing had ever sounded so tempting. He thought he'd been pushing his kick with the photos, but to be offered a videoed performance of his dirty girl, complete with sounds and movement? He nearly came from the idea, fucking her down into the mattress with renewed vigour as he choked--

"Oh, shit--sweetheart, are you sure?"

"I trust you, doofus...and I want you to remember this--how you fucked me so well," (y/n) nodded, seductively smiling as he fumbled for his phone, thankful it hadn't bounced onto the floor during their vigorous activities.

"Don't think I'll ever forget, precious girl. Fuck, you're hot..." he groaned as he slowed down, thrusting once every few seconds, which drove her mad, but when he did, it was brutal.

A sharp smacking sound filled the air with each blow and her pitiful moans since the doofus could barely do two things together. But he managed to work his phone and satisfy her cunt simultaneously, turning the camera around so it was peering down at her, taking in her needy expression from being tortured.

The man retreated onto his knees and, using his impressive strength, held her hips up to his crotch with his hand hooked under one knee, filming how his cock disappeared into her pussy, how the thrusts made her breasts heave, and every pretty little face she made. He couldn't hit record quick enough, pressing the big red button to begin what would undoubtedly become his most watched video, hidden in his phone's depths for when he was most needy.

"Fucking--shit--look into the camera, pretty girl," he begged as she screwed her eyes when he upped his speed. Her tits jiggled and bounced, heaving when she crossed an arm over her body and stared into the camera, looking downright sinful with her dark eyes and open mouth.

"Fuck me harder..." she moaned, unleashing her inner actress as she tweaked a nipple and bit her lip. The scandalous nature of it all made her skin burn and cunt contract, understanding he'd watch this back, thinking and watching her.

Oh, the power it gave her, knowing she had him hooked even when she wasn't around, and if that wasn't the biggest turn-on and compliment...

"Beg me, sweet girl," Ray growled, wanting a proper show, and he knew she had it in her. She was so perfect and alluring, pouting at him in a way that made him want to ruin her--fuck her repeatedly to please her every desire.

"Pleasepleasepleaseplease--please, Captain. Make me cum," she pleaded in a nasally, whiny voice, playing it up like she'd gone without his cock for months. It was filthy, but he loved it, throwing his head back and growling, shaking the camera momentarily as her free hand reached to frantically rub her clit.

He captured it all, zooming in on her slicked fingers and how they play with her cunt before zooming out again to view the whole picture. She was a vision, better than any pre-made movie or his imagination, and it didn't take long for him to feel his release creeping up his spine.

Usually, he would've held out a little longer and really made her feel him--mould her pussy to his cock. But the video made him weak--made him imagine how he'd use it to jerk off or get himself in the mood. Only his sweet girl could make him think about cumming again before he finished, and he snarled at the thought. He was ruined for any other girl.

"Shit--shit--shit--gonna cum, darlin'," he stammered, wishing he could make her climax a few more times, but he couldn't stop the electricity speeding down his spine. Before he knew it, his thrusts were shaky, and his hand could barely keep his phone steady, indicating that he had a couple minutes max.

"I want it, Ray. Cum for your wife."

"Fuck, where'd you want?" He groaned, further losing it when she spoke to him like that, the gold of her wedding ring catching his eye, drawing it to the bruises too. It cumulated in his end swiftly approaching, and he worried that he'd spill without warning, but (y/n) didn't need long to decide.

"Cover me in it, doofus. Wanna be covered in your cum--" (y/n) moaned, chasing her high by rubbing her clit as her husband jerked his hips from inside her.

"Oh, fuck--I'm cumming--"

The loss made her cunt clench around nothing, spasming in a pathetic orgasm that left her breathless, but the absolute joy came from Ray. All he needed was one look at her fucked-out expression and a few strokes of his cock, and he painted her tummy, shooting pearly ropes across her skin that he filmed for the perfect ending.

It was a little shaky and blurry, but he could still see everything, especially how she bit her lip when the warmth coated her, spreading across the hickeys to deem her his utterly.

"Shit--that's hot. God, you look so good, sweet girl," he groaned as he squeezed the last of his cum out, watching it drip onto her stomach in tiny droplets. For the perfect end to the video, (y/n) giggled as she swiped the smear onto her index finger and brought it to her lips, moaning when the salty tang hit her tastebuds.

"I love you, doofus," she added cutely, and that's when Ray couldn't take it anymore.

He swiftly ended the video, chucking his phone onto the bedside table with a clatter, and he didn't care if it cracked. Diving down, he caught her lips in a passionate, hungry kiss, feeling like he'd been a mere spectator after that. Whilst he loved how his cum stretched across her belly, it didn't feel like enough - it didn't satisfy his need to ravage her.

"You've got no idea how much I love you, my darling girl. You're too good for me."

"I have to say...I think that's the most daring thing we've ever done, sex-wise," (y/n) chuckled as he hovered over her, uncaring if his navel brushed the mess on her tummy. If he was lucky, she'd lick it off his body before they got in the shower, but they were content to lie there for now.

"No, that would be the time we fucked in Henry's backyard," Ray grinned, fondly remembering how they were like randy teenagers, giggling in the flowerbeds--and (y/n) went along with it in the hope that Mrs Hart would catch them in the act and see her man was taken.

"Oh, yeah. He still doesn't know we broke that gnome. Poor Jerome saw things that day."

"Speaking of breaking things, how hard do you think we'll have to go to break this bed?" He suggested, ridiculously waggling his eyebrows just to hear her laugh, and she did. (y/n) broke out into sunny smiles at his silliness, but it wasn't a bad idea - nearly as tempting where her former archenemy could walk in and see a little too much.

"Pretty fucking hard, doofus, but you can try," the heroine shrugged, thinking the bed was built quite sturdily and the hotel probably expected honeymoon couples to go at it like rabbits. Still, if one man could break a four thousand-dollar bed, it was her doofus and his insatiable libido.

"... You're paying, though."

"Challenge accepted, Mrs Manchester...how about we shower first and then have round two to test the headboard?" Ray asked naughtily after pecking her cheek, thinking he'd try his damn best to fuck her properly--and part of him hoped they sent that snivelling boy to repair the frame.

"A tempting offer, Mr Manchester, but I actually have something to give you first."

Yet, to his surprise, his wife didn't jump at his suggestion to continue their escapades in the shower, which would undoubtedly lead to more fooling around. Instead, she rolled out from under him, wriggling free to make a pitiful whimper leave his throat because he didn't like to lose her softness against his skin. At least he had the magnificent view of her naked body crossing the room, the sunlight illuminating the faint handprints he'd left on her hips and ass.

(y/n) giggled at his antics but stayed true to her purpose, shuffling off the bed to go and root through her suitcase, pushing clothes, shoes, and toiletries out of the way to try and find some mystery item. Ray's curiosity piqued, and he craned his neck to try and see what she was looking for as he built his hopes up.

"Please tell me it's a pregnancy test."

"No, you doofus! Nothing like that..." (y/n) scolded him, giving him an amused eye roll at how eager he sounded, even though the idea made her tummy flip. It was sadly too soon, but she found his excitement for the future adorable, knowing he'd be the best father in the world once they were ready to take that step. And the neediest - his sweet girl as a mom? The man would be on his knees.

"Awww..." Ray pouted, sighing in mild disappointment as she returned to her search. He really thought she was about to surprise him with the greatest gift, but he didn't let it drag him down. Now they were married; it was just a matter of time, and any present from his sweet girl was still precious.

"So, what did you get me?"

"It's not much..." she replied nervously, wondering if this was a good idea as she pulled out a small cardboard box.

It wasn't anything special or expensive, just a hand-painted craft store box covered in pretty, glittery stickers that could be found in any art supply section. But it was made with love and something she thought he'd like, so she quickly returned to the bed and enthusiastically pushed the trinket into his hands.

"What's this?" The hero frowned, holding the mystery box in his palms like it was the most precious thing in the world. Whatever it was, he'd treasure it because his angel's hands made it, but he couldn't work it out for his life.

"Read the front, doofus, and open it," (y/n) instructed, tilting his hands up to read the delicate cursive she'd painstakingly painted on the box's face. His head tilted confusedly as he read it - Ray's coupons - and it didn't make much sense until he cracked the box open.

Inside, he found dozens of little shreds of paper nestled amongst shards of confetti glitter. He pulled one out, wondering what they could mean when he saw her bubbly handwriting scratched on one side, spelling out--to his utter bafflement--Redeem for roleplay. It didn't stop there; he quickly dropped that one and took another, eyes bulging out of his skull when he read, Redeem for deepthroating. And another--Redeem for one quickie. And another--Redeem for a sensual massage. And another--Redeem for cockwarming.

"Sweet girl? What--what is this?" He croaked, his cock twitching at the mention of all his favourite things. However, as always, when sex was involved, his brain stopped problem-solving and switched to seduction, meaning he still didn't get it.

"Well, just give me one of those, and we'll do whatever it says--within reason and circumstances permitting. I thought it would be fun...and it's not limited to this vacation, either," the woman explained with a teasing giggle, watching him visibly gulp as he understood what she was giving him - opportunities to do whatever the fuck he wanted. And he couldn't help but frantically search the paper scraps to see what else she'd allow.

"Anal?" He grunted, licking his lips as she nodded, knowing it was one of his favourites but a rare treat. As she waggled her eyebrows, he returned to the box, feeling his cock beginning to stiffen the more he read.

"This one just says titties. You gonna flash those pretty tits at me, sweet girl?" He asked amusedly, thinking it would be slightly absurd, but he wouldn't hate it. Not even if it seemed milder than the others, compared to things like bondage and striptease.

"Look at them, touch them, hit them, suck them, fuck them, cum on them--whatever you want. It's your coupon, doofus," she shrugged casually like utter filth wasn't falling from her lips.

A grin spread on his face as he kept going through the box, whispering fuck here and there when he came across something particularly tempting. She'd spent a lot of time making it, thinking of different things she knew he enjoyed and stuff he might like to try.

After rummaging for another minute, he snapped the lid shut, keeping the treasure inside as he leaned forward to cup her face, bringing her into a passionate kiss.

"You spoil me, sweet girl. This is the best present ever."

"You like it?" (y/n) asked, mildly relieved that he didn't throw it back in her face, disgusted and offended. But her doofus wasn't like that. He pulled her in for another kiss, cupping her breast absentmindedly, slowly palming and enjoying its squishiness.

"More like love. In fact, I'd like to redeem this one..." the man hummed with a sneaky smirk once they retreated, and (y/n) quirked an eyebrow when he presented her with a paper scrap.

Giving her husband an all-knowing but interested look, she took and unfolded it, wondering how he'd managed to touch her up, kiss, and hide it simultaneously. A smile spread on her face when her eyes scanned the words, cunt clenching at the thought of following his wishes. It was part of the deal, and she was happy to comply.

"Shower sex? You read my mind, doofus."

An hour and a half later, the couple were clean and well-fed.

(y/n) kept her promise, allowing Ray to redeem his voucher in the shower to his heart's content, steaming up the large glass enclosure more than the scalding water ever could. Leaving her to soak once he'd had his wicked way, the hero slunk away to order some room service--pastries, fresh fruit, poached eggs, everything.

He wouldn't see her go hungry on his watch and happily hand-fed her berries and chunks of sweet croissants once she'd dried off and dressed.

"This is a pretty dress..." Ray hummed, stroking her knee and the soft fabric covering it as he admired her outfit.

Dressing for the weather, (y/n) had opted for a summery sundress with a bright, bold pattern, leaving her hair and face natural since her doofus preferred her like that. And he did, snuggling into her side as she nibbled on chunks of mango and strawberry, sometimes smearing a pancake with Nutella and eating that too.

"I knew you'd like it--that's why I wore it."

"Hmmm...so, what do you want to do today?" The man asked, kissing her neck, liking how the dress's low neckline exposed her marked-up throat. The island undoubtedly had endless activities, from exploration to one of the cultural classes run by the hotel. Still, Ray had his own ideas on what they could do--an entire boxful.

"I have a few suggestions..."

"I'm sure you do, doofus..." (y/n) chuckled, rolling her eyes when he seductively popped a grape into his mouth, trying to look all sexy and cool but failing. He made her laugh, but it wasn't his smoothest move, and she didn't want to spend the three weeks indoors when there was glorious sunshine outside.

"But I'd like to see more than just the bedroom since you're paying a bajillion dollars to rent this place, so...pool?"

"Are you sure you want to go outside? We could stay here, all alone..." He trailed off, moving his fingertip up her leg in a vain attempt to keep her in his bed, but his beloved wife wouldn't be swayed.

"Raymond, be a good boy and come swimming with me. I would've thought the shower was enough to cool your jets," she said firmly, wondering how he still had the energy or desire to go again when they'd been at it all morning.

They'd finished breakfast, leaving nothing but crumb-covered plates and rumpled napkins, so Ray moved it off the bed, grumbling that he'd never get enough of her love and affection, not when he could look down and see the ring he placed on her finger. He'd do as she said, but that didn't mean he wasn't plotting the next time he'd get to fuck her.

"It was, but this pretty little dress changed my mind."

"Come on, you big doof..." (y/n) giggled, shaking her head mirthfully and pulling him by the hand so they could enjoy something else.

Rising from the bed, she made for the open sliding doors, padding across the smooth, wooden floor and out into the warm air. She could hear the ocean, gasping when the gorgeous view properly revealed itself under the intense sun.

Everything looked so much better in the daylight. It showed the vibrant flowers dotting the lush green vegetation, soft sandy paths, and deep azure pool, all set on a backdrop of endless blue sky. It was luxurious and well-kept, ideally suited for their needs as (y/n) approached the glorious water lapping against the volcanic stone steps. The loungers were also plush and sturdy with their amber rattan design and thick, squishy cushions bathed in shade.

"Are you sure no one can see us?" The heroine asked over her shoulder, hesitantly looking around and expecting another couple or family to come around the corner. She'd only ever stayed in resorts with communal pools and beaches, so the idea of having total privacy in the paradise was a little strange.

But Ray quickly soothed her, confident in his credit card's ability to buy nothing but the best for her. He didn't want their honeymoon spoiled by screaming kids in the restaurant or drunken idiots vomiting in the pool, so he hired his own, meaning his precious wife was free to do as she pleased.

"No one, sweet girl. There's no one here--just us. Why?"

She didn't reply. Instead, she threw a wink over her shoulder, much to Ray's confusion, who wondered why she dropped his hand and looked at him like that. But before he could question it, she grabbed the bottom of her sundress and peeled it over her head, exposing her curves without a second thought.

Ray's jaw was instantly on the floor, darkening eyes lusting over her body in what had to be the world's tiniest, skimpiest bikini - so unlike what she'd typically go for. Usually, his sweet girl stuck to cute tankinis and one-pieces, too shy to flaunt too much skin whenever they went swimming.

But this was their honeymoon, and when in Hawaii, alone with your husband - go for it.

"Fuck..." he muttered under his breath, gaze glued to her ass as she stepped into the warm water, sighing as it soothed her sore muscled. She gracefully glided into the crystal blue, kicking her legs until she was in the deep end, up to her neck and turning to see him gawking.

"Are you gonna stand there like a lemon or join me, doofus? The water's great!" She called out, treading water as she glanced at his Hawaiian-print

"The view's even better..." Ray grumbled, still staring at her soaked body and how tantalising it looked when shiny and wet--a reminder of the shower they'd shared.

She bobbed in the water, pushing her breast into the air so he could see how the bikini top had turned slightly see-through and heavier. It hid and revealed everything he wanted and more, leaving him a speechless, drooling mess - so much so that (y/n) had to splash a little water at her lover to snap him out of it.

"Come on, Ray! Get in already!" She teased, and finally, he shook his head and found his energy.

In the blink of an eye, he tore his tight, plain white tee off, thankful that he wasn't wearing regular jean shorts but Hawaiian-print trunks. They fitted his thick thighs perfectly, and she licked her lips at the sight of his toned torso, muscles flexing as he tossed the shirt onto a nearby chair, kicking off his flip-flops, too.

Given how he strutted toward the pool so confidently, looking like some kind of hot swimwear model, she expected him to stroll into the water with as much grace as she did. But no. This was Ray Manchester. He wasn't known for his elegance and finesse.

Instead, he took one look at the pool and made a split-second but vital decision. In a single step, he broke into a jog, hurtling toward the water before his sweet girl could scold him for running on slippery surfaces--or cannonballing a couple of metres from where she was. She squealed when the water splashed around her, a near-tidal wave curling over her body and dampening her hair whilst he sank to the bottom.

"Raymond, I'm all wet!" She shouted once he resurfaced, wiping his eyes and pushing his soaked hair out of his eyes. It was criminal to be so attractive, and despite her whiny tone, she still welcomed him into her arms, grinning when he grabbed her ass to pull her flush against him.

"You don't say... Just how I like you, darlin'," Ray smirked, earning himself a whack on the shoulder for being so smug and crude, but (y/n) had to fight a smile, too.

He held her close, thinking swimming wasn't a bad idea, when he stroked her bare hips and felt her hardened nipples rubbing against his chest. The weather was gorgeous, keeping them warm and happy as they kissed, content to stand in each other's arms.

"This is so perfect, doof... Don't you just want to stay here forever?" (y/n) asked quietly, dropping her head to rest it on his chest, dozing as he rubbed her back.

"Definitely, if I'm here with you," the hero replied, rubbing his cheek against her head and sighing. This was his idea of heaven, standing waist-deep in water with his nearly naked wife nuzzling into his chest. His words made her feel gooey inside, warming her more than the sun ever could because he knew how to make her feel special--as someone supposedly terrible with words.

"You know how to flatter a girl, Raymond."

"I'm being serious. There's no prettier sight than you..." Ray cooed, toying with the strings holding her bikini up, but he didn't loosen them - not yet, anyway. He was undeniably tender, soothingly rubbing her back as her face heated up; talk about a smooth operator.

"Aww, doo--" (y/n) grinned, smushing her lips lovingly against his skin as butterflies fluttered in her tummy, thinking that had to be the loveliest thing someone had ever said to her--a real confidence booster. But Ray being Ray...

"...Naked."

"You just had to turn it dirty, didn't you?" She asked flatly, glancing up to give him a dry look for ruining the sweet moment with his smuttiness, but his cheeky grin melted her anger. It was impossible to stay mad when he was so adorable, giggling as droplets fell from his nose and down his chest, shaken by his laugh.

He squeezed her hips, toying with her bottoms as he leaned closer, finding his home in the crook of her neck, where he resumed his seduction. If he couldn't have her inside, he'd change tactics, thinking it wasn't such a bad thing to try and fuck her on every surface possible. And that was no mean feat in a villa as big as that one.

"Oh, yeah... Although I suspect you had a trick up your sleeve when you chose this bikini, darlin'. If you could even call it a bikini..." the man grumbled as her that, laving over his hickeys, leaving a few more.

"Would you prefer I wear something else?" (y/n) hummed in a high-pitched voice, suddenly feeling needier than she expected, tilting her chin up to give him more room. Her pussy fluttered as his kisses quickened, darting up and down her neck as he kneaded her ass, dipping her fingertips under the sides to feel her slippery flesh.

"I'd prefer if you wear nothing at all..."

As the final growl left his throat, the cold pool wall met (y/n) 's back, and she realised that whilst he had her so distracted, he'd drifted them to the water's edge. It dug into her lower back as he curled over her, invading her space and pressing every inch of his body against hers. She could feel him against her hip, hard and aching as if he hadn't had any attention in weeks - a man lusting for her sweet little body because it had been two hours since he'd taken her.

"Look so hot in this, darlin'. Please tell me you have more like this..." Ray begged, dying to see her in more skimpy outfits - preferably ones resembling two strings and a label than swimwear.

"I practically cleared the store out, doofus. You'll get sick of seeing me in bikinis."

"Nah... they'll be the death of me, sweet girl. Had a heart attack when you stripped off like that," he confessed, although he got the hint that she already knew that. His sweet girl loved to tease him, and she knew his weaknesses, despite acting all innocent as he pushed and pulled her asscheeks apart, kissing her weak spots too.

(y/n) gasped dramatically--and not because of his deep, passionate kiss. She smiled against his lips, parting hers to allow his tongue to explore deeper into her mouth as his hand left her ass alone to settle on the edge behind her. He waded closer, grinding his hard cock against her stomach whilst she curled her arms around him, intent on teasing him more.

"Oh, well--might have to stop wearing, then. I'm not having my husband keeling over just because he got overexcited," she shrugged, standing on her tiptoes to match his height. She curled a strand of his hair around her finger where it grew longer at the nape of his neck and slid a hand down his chest, over defined muscles and down to where his trunks were tenting.

"You'll just have to walk around naked, then. And I don't mind either way, sweetheart..." Ray snarled, subconsciously bucking into her hand when she palmed his thick length, knowing what it did to him.

"You're insatiable, doofus."

"I'm not hearing any complaints..." You love this just as much as I do," he whispered, ready to pause at a moment's notice if she showed any sign of being uncomfortable, but his sweet girl was in his palm, lapping up everything he gave her.

She smirked against his skin, stopping a bead of water trickling down his chest with her tongue, throwing all of her earlier grumbling about not wanting to spend all day in bed. Maybe the itch had been scratched earlier, but now, she was hungry for him again. She was practically salivating when her fingers curled around his sizeable length, aching to taste him.

"I do..." she replied, pulling his shorts down, wanting to see her effect on him and show her appreciation for the luxury vacation he'd brought her on.

But Ray had other ideas; before his wife could pull him free, he pulled her fingers out from his swim trunks, briefly kissing her wrist before pushing it onto the warm concrete behind her. Another strong arm curled around her body, and he lifted her onto the ledge in the blink of an eye. He used the water's buoyancy to get her hips out and into the sun.

"Ray!" (y/n) squealed, holding onto his head to steady herself as the balmy air tickled her skin - not cold, but indeed a shock compared to the warm water. The hero grinned at her response, immediately latching his lips onto her hipbone, sucking a bruise over it as he drifted between her parted legs and encouraged her to lay back.

This wasn't how (y/n) imagined sunbathing on their vacation. Still, she did as he instructed, falling back onto her elbows as he toyed with her bikini bottoms.

"These are fucking tiny, sweet girl..." he muttered, appreciating how they revealed more of her curves for him to admire. Still, he instantly knew that if they were to go on the beach or any public areas, she'd have to wear something else. No one would catch a glimpse of his pretty girl looking so hot--and he knew he couldn't resist her walking around like that.

She giggled at his words and how serious his face looked--the same expression he made when reading something more complex than a nursery rhyme or a tricky math problem. Petting his hair single-handedly, she pulled his head closer as he stretched to kiss over her collarbones, clavicle, and bra. The water made her nipples hard, making him grin as he dragged his mouth over them, loving her whines and how she pulled his locks.

"Pretty girl..." Ray grunted, biting the exposed well of her cleavage as his fingers danced with the ties behind her back. One tug of the silky string and the top piece loosened, falling from around her neck and chest, exposing her breasts for his hungry gaze as he tossed it over his shoulder to land somewhere in the water - where, he didn't care.

"Gorgeous fucking tits--" he groaned, lightly slapping her perky tit, making her moan as it jiggled.

Kneading one in his hand like a stress ball, he leaned forward and pulled its twin into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened peak as (y/n) jerked closer to the pool's edge, anxious to wrap her legs around his waist. Even the slightest touch made her want his cock inside her, pulling his body toward her throbbing pussy, looking for any friction as she soaked those bottoms in slick.

"Doo--doo--doofus?" She whimpered, tugging the hair at the nape of his neck to try and gain his attention - not easy when he could spend all day suckling on her tits.

"Hmm? What does my sweet girl want?" Ray asked, pulling away briefly when he heard that all-too-familiar, breathless tone she used when she wanted something. He quickly turned his attention to the opposite breast, not wanting to leave her other nipple lonely whilst she stammered to find the words.

"Pl--please, want y-your mouth..."

"You have it, darlin'..." he replied smugly when she clammed up, too embarrassed to ask for what he assumed she wanted. Sometimes, his wife could have the filthiest mouth on her, willing to do the dirtiest things when the mood struck. But asking for it? It made her cutely shy, and he loved it, wanting to hear her say it.

"Nooooo..."

"Ask, and you can have whatever you want."

"Ple--please...e--eat my pussy..." she whispered, face feeling like it was on fire because he typically spread her out on the bed and had his fill - no need to ask for it.

But sometimes, her doofus was a little shit, and I liked seeing her squirm as she asked for something forbidden. It wasn't ladylike to be so wanton and vulgar, but she didn't care when he grinned and instantly turned his attention south.

"Since you asked so nicely..." Ray beamed, looking like the cat who got the cream as he kissed her tits goodbye and trailed his lips down her soft tummy, aiming for his favourite meal in the world.

Her legs eagerly swished in the water as he took his time, nipping where he liked until he was shoulders-deep in the pool and level with her core.

"Lay back, darling..." he instructed gently, a big, warm hand pushing against her stomach to encourage her to shuffle back and settle against the deck. She did as he said, disappointed when his handsome face disappeared, but it soon went, moaning when his palms slid past her tummy and pulled her bottoms down in one smooth move. They disappeared into the water, floating away to join the bra, where someone, probably Ray, would fish them out later with a shit-eating smirk.

"That's it, pretty girl... Let me see my pretty wife and her perfect little cunt."

Content to lay there and sun herself, (y/n) sighed, closed her eyes, and let her husband do as he pleased, all warm and safe, while he groaned at the sight of her soaked folds. He couldn't wait to bury his face between them, pinning her thighs to the pool's edge.

Running a finger through her slit, Ray brought it to his mouth, sucking her taste off and moaning - it had been too long since they'd had enough time to let him feast. Between saving the world and losing everything, he'd missed the peaceful moments when time passed with him spending hours between her legs, eating to his heart's content without any concern for the world around them.

"So fucking wet, sweet girl..." he groaned, brushing his thumb against her clit as she whined into the summer air, head rolling against the stone.

"Please..." She whispered, cupping her tits and gently thrusting toward him. Ray didn't need begging, not when he was inches away from his heaven, so he held her hips down and hunched forward.

He nuzzled into her cunt, moaning at the heat surrounding him and how he could practically taste her on the air, wondering why he'd waited this long. A man couldn't live without her sweet pussy, so he didn't waste any more time, dipping his tongue between her folds to gather her wetness on its tips. Pressing it flat against her, he moved from bottom to top, licking a broad strip up to her clit.

His lips tightened around the sensitive nerves, gently sucking as the heroine wailed, entangling her fingers with his hair, wedding rings gleaming under the radiant sun. Replacing his mouth with a finger, he drifted down to her quivering hole, smiling when he found it as needy as always.

"Taste so good, sweet girl," the man moaned, taking his time with his tongue as it languidly reexplored her silky walls, dipping into the crevice to drink her from the source. Despite everything, honey always came to mind, filling his senses with the sweetest taste while she made the most adorable sounds.

"Make me cum, doofus..."

"Shhhh...I will, sweetheart. Just let me enjoy my time with my girl," Ray soothed her, pausing on her clit to paw at her tense stomach, relaxing the clenching muscles. She looked like a goddamn angel, glowing from a sheen of sweat covering her body, illuminated in the sun, making him feral--eager to corrupt her blissful expression with one of pure lust.

"She's fucking delicious..." The man muttered to himself, and (y/n) wasn't sure if he was talking about her or her pussy, knowing he loved to whisper its own little praises for taking him so well and giving him the nectar he needed to live.

After taking a moment to breathe, Ray dove back down, not gentle anymore, mouthing over her pussy with a renewed conviction - to see her writhe in pleasure. Though it felt impatient, punishing even with the little nips he delivered on her sensitive folds, the hero knew well what he was doing. Each strike of his tongue was perfectly aimed, flicking from her clit to her dripping hole, drawing patterns that unleashed new levels of bliss.

When he finally sucked on her clit again, she came apart with a deep, choked groan, body locking up as the first wave hit her. It was as gentle but relentless as the heat around her, making her skin prickle when Ray continued his onslaught, wanting to fight through her sensitivity to see her crumble.

"That's it, darlin'. Keep it comin'," he groaned, slipping a finger into her cunt, pumping it slowly, then a second one, building her arousal again as the duo thrust faster. She caught bits of his raspy praise between her moans and the buzzing in her head, making out words through the noise of vulgar suction and gently lapping water.

"Good girl...My perfect wife, being so good for me..."

Ray's fingers moved faster, disappearing into her molten core as he groaned, loving how responsive her body was for him. His tongue danced over her clit with broad strokes, suddenly changing into rapid flicking, forcing his free hand to hold her lower half down so she couldn't squirm from under him. When he pushed a third finger inside, her walls tightened, as did the coil in her belly.

"Ray!" (y/n) wailed, shuddering as she spasmed around his fingers, hands clamped over her mouth to try and stay quiet - just in case someone was nearby.

Her doofus didn't stop; he merely grinned into her cunt as his fingers pumped faster, moving his tongue over her clit at a blinding speed. Lolling her head to the side, the woman moaned - almost in discomfort - thinking she was beyond oversensitive and worn out for a final orgasm. She reached to grab a fistful of hair, tugging it to try and drag his tongue away.

"No, doofus--too much--S'too much..." She grumbled drunkenly, but Ray didn't stop - if anything, it encouraged him. He knew she had one more, so he doubled his efforts, quickening his fingers and creating a vacuum around her clit, sucking as if his life depended on it.

A growl left his throat when she tried to move away, sliding further onto dry land despite the scratch of the concrete against her back. Combined with all the other times they'd fucked in the last twelve hours, she was wrung dry, feeling like she'd cum more in the previous night or so than in the last few months.

But Ray wasn't having any of it, deeply offended that someone - even his sweet girl - tried to pull his pussy away when he wasn't finished eating. The beefy arm laid across her stomach and pulled away briefly to sharply spank her ass, slapping her thigh, too, when he pinned one to the ledge.

"I know this cunt like the back of my hand, sweet girl. Trust me to know when it's been fucked good and proper," he snarled coldly before affectionately nuzzling against her, happily smearing her excessive slick all over his face. His intense stare turned her body to jelly, going gooey against the ground while he returned to work.

The tip of his tongue gently slid down her folds, making her mewl when his nose caught her clit.

"And I think you can cum for me one more time..."

He was on her instantly, burying his fingers into her to the third knuckle with a new determination, smearing her slick up his wrist. A deep groan reverberated against her sensitive bud as he drank her, riding his own high as his favourite little snack turned placid, allowing him to feast.

His cock was aching for release, so hard it bobbed upright in the water and occasionally brushed against the wall, but he ignored it. Maybe if he was lucky, she'd blow him once she'd recovered, or perhaps, if he was really lucky, she'd allow him to fuck her tits, thighs, or cunt. But first, he wanted to see her wrecked - well and truly fucked out.

Ray curled his fingers, aiming for the soft, spongy spot deep inside her that had her undulating her hips in mini-thrusts. For someone who didn't want any more, she quickly became hooked, succumbing to her fate and seeking her next orgasm. Squelching noises filled the air, along with her wails, as her thighs began violently shaking beside his ears, keeping them toasty when they clamped the side of his head.

Her heart rate quickened again, rushing her blood in waves that crushed her senses with the pulsing sound inside her head. She lost recognition of anything happening around her. There was only the growing, almost painful pleasure, Ray's overwhelming, dominating presence, and the stretch of her walls as they hurtled toward the edge.

A broken moan of "Ray! Fuck!" broke the Hawaiian serenity as he pushed her over, murmuring praises for the convulsing girl creaming on his tongue.

Tears pricked in the corners of her eyes as he worked her through it, slowly pumping his fingers as she juddered, hiccuping into her hands. Slick covered his lower forearm and mouth, making him look utterly deranged with the glint in his eye. Still, Ray didn't care - he loved it, peering over the plains of her stomach and breasts to fixate on her tear-stained but gently smiling face.

Her cunt was ruined, a pinkish red and swollen, glistening and throbbing as his fingers slowly retreated. Thighs spread, chest heaving, tits slightly swollen with nipples tweaked still - she made a gorgeous sigh, softly turning Ray's hard, hungry stare for the girl who stole his heart.

"Beautiful..." he murmured, reaching as far as he could stroke her body, palming her chest and squishy tummy. To him, she was stunning - the most captivating person he'd ever seen, even with her scrunched-up nose, dampened hair, and marked skin.

Her whole body shook when he slipped his fingers out of her pussy. He memorised each part of her as he licked his hand clean, knowing he'd undoubtedly return between her thighs when the thirst beckoned again.

But for now, he'd give him some respite, cleaning the last of her taste off his fingers, going down to the last knuckle with a lewd, sucking noise. If need be, he'd use the memory to get himself off later, depending on whether his precious wife was feeling up to taking him or not.

"You're a menace, Ray Manchester..." Was the first thing (y/n) said when she came around, not knowing how long she'd been out, but she snapped into reality to the sound of her doofus whispering praises.

He chuckled at her sleepy expression, climbing out of the pool in one impressive leap onto the ledge. A shadow shielded her eyes and body from the blazing sun as he hovered over her. Cool, damp skin caused goosebumps when he pressed against her, cock prodding her thigh when he needily nuzzled her neck.

"But you love me, Mrs Manchester..." he whispered, sounding rarely vulnerable as a hand cradled him against her, craving his coolness against her scorching body. Remind him to slaver her in sunscreen later...

"I do...I love you so much, doofus."

"I love you too, sweet girl. Always have, always will," he swore, grinning under the golden light as his pure-hearted girl dozed beneath him.

She was always so precious after having her brains fucked out.

~A couple days later~

They had to leave the villa at some point.

Three days into their trip, Ray and (y/n) were still tangled in the sheets, splashing in their private pool or tanning on the sun beds. It suited them, not needing more than their slice of paradise to be content since delicious food could be delivered to the room, and Ray doted on his sweet girl. He satisfied her every need, but even paradise grew samey.

"Are you going to get ready, doofus?" (y/n) asked from the vanity unit, where she'd been sitting for the last fifteen minutes doing her hair. After eating in for the previous few days, nibbling between rough, passionate sessions, she was eager to see what the resort had to offer - a fancy restaurant.

They hadn't done anything fancy since arriving, and she was itching to show off on the man of her dreams' arm--that they deserved luxury too. The restaurant boasted five stars and four courses, meaning she had to bring her A-game - hair, nails, makeup, and dress done to perfection.

She was already reaching for her makeup bag, having washed and dried her hair and hung up her pretty dress. It showed off her curves, thighs, and cleavage--everything Ray loved to touch and look at--so once she enhanced her natural beauty, it was just a matter of hailing a cab and making their dinner reservation.

Although for someone who'd reserved a table - and paid a deposit - for a high-class restaurant, Ray didn't seem particularly fussed.

She met his eye in the mirror, pausing with an eyeshadow brush, dusted in a smoky shimmer, hovering near her lid as she watched him relax on the giant bed behind her. His large frame covered most of the mattress, stretching in his smart, tight black shirt and dressy trousers and resting against the pillows - watching.

His hooded eyes followed her every movement, scratching his pec innocently when she cocked an eyebrow at his lax mood. He hadn't quaffed his hair, done his tie, put on his jacket or shoes. It was decidedly un-Ray-like for someone who prided himself on his appearance, especially when he was following his gorgeous girl around like a lost puppy.

He just laid there, looking all cocky and hot, as he stared at his pretty wife, who was clad in no more than her best underwear whilst she painted her face.

"In a bit... I'm enjoying the view..." The hero replied, tucking an arm behind his head to prop it up so he could watch her better. It would take him ten seconds to become presentable, meaning he had a spare minute or two to take in her beauty.

Maybe it was the heat, the romantic setting, the high of finally marrying his sweet girl or a mixture of both, but Ray was insatiable. He couldn't help it, constantly seeking her warm, bare skin against his to satisfy his unending yearning.

It was tiring and always left them sore since their powers weren't back to normal yet. Still, the man couldn't stay away, crawling into her arms to fuck her over and over or eat her sweet pussy when she grew weary. And, bless her soul, his darling wife never refused, welcoming him into her bed night after night, although she insisted on tonight.

A romantic meal in different surroundings, and whilst Ray wanted her all to himself, he couldn't deny her. So, dinner it was...but first, he needed her again.

"What view? I'm not even dressed yet," (y/n) frowned but returned to her blending, brushing a soft, dark powder across her eyelids to create a plain base, focusing on her reflection rather than the pouty doofus behind her.

"Exactly... Absolutely stunning." That made her smile, bare skin warming despite the breeze from the open windows.

Ray wasn't subtle with his admiration, raking his eyes over her exposed curves and wishing he could get his hands on them. She seemed so far away, even though he was only a metre or so out on the bed, and he longed to drag her into his arms, even if it was merely to cuddle. He couldn't help it if he was in an affectionate mood - any man would be if they were watching an angel working their magic.

"How are you not exhausted? We barely slept at all last night..." His precious wife remarked, sounding slightly miffed, but her face was pleasant, giving away that she wasn't angry - more amused.

Ray dragged her to the nearest comfy surface to have his way every night- or even every free minute- whether with one of them on their knees or spread for the taking. Over and over, he fucked her senseless, never appearing satiated or exhausted, unlike her, who whined for mercy when he pushed her over the edge for the fifth time.

But he was shameless and undeniably insatiable. And last night had been no different. After a brief dip in the pool, the heroine wandered into the main room, wearing only her damp swimwear. She was looking for a drink and snack in the mini-bar when a strong arm curled around her stomach and pulled her against a toned chest. The rest was history, ending with her braced against the coffee table as he pounded into her from behind.

"It's the bikinis, sweet girl... Seeing your perfect lil ass walking around the place makes me so damn hard..."

"I noticed. I'm still not walking straight..." She replied amusedly, shaking her head as she smeared glitter across her eyes, recalling how her sexy black bikini had to be binned after he ripped it to shreds. She didn't hate it, given that she begged for more and initiated round two on the couch, but he didn't need to know that.

Even though he already did.

"Well, you were begging for it, darlin'. Screaming my name...so it's not entirely my fault," Ray smirked, feeling his cock twitch in interest at the memory of the previous night's activities. When she clawed at him like that, leaving deep, scarlet scratches down his back, he couldn't help but want to make the most of the night...

"Get dressed, you big doofus," (y/n) told him, rubbing a little eyeliner on her lower lash line. She hoped her disinterest would persuade him to wear his tie and shoes, but Ray yawned. Yawned.

It made her meet his eye in the glass again, wondering why he was so relentless, rolling around the sheets like a stubborn cat who wanted to nap and not be disturbed. She watched with narrow eyes, pausing her makeup for the millionth time as he sighed and ogled her body, seeming tighter in his pants than usual.

"Nah... I'm happy here. I think we should just stay here..." the hero groaned, the unmistakable heat creeping up his spine as he palmed his growing bulge.

She'd turned to the mirror again, ignorant of his arousal, so she didn't see how his eyes became hooded and hazy, darkening the more he touched himself whilst drooling over her pretty hips and tits in that lingeries.

"I'm hungry, Raymond," (y/n) said firmly, dusting her cheeks in bronzer and blush, noticing his movement out of the corner of her eye. But she didn't think for a minute that it was smutty. Usually, Raymond was more proactive, preferring her touch to his own. Still, he wasn't beneath dirty tricks - the dirtier, the better sometimes.

"I'll order room service," he counteroffered, thinking with his lust-addled brain rather than his heart. Of course, he wanted to take her out to dinner, eager to be the man on her arm as they entered the dining hall, but couldn't they quickly fuck first?

The more he rubbed his hand over his crotch, the harder he became, tenting in his fanciest trousers until his cock pressed against his zipper. Hot and heavy, a rumble emitted from his chest as his stomach fluttered, sights set on the reflection of her cleavage when (y/n) leaned forward to inspect her eyeliner.

He couldn't take it. He needed her more than he could put into words, and if she was busy, then there was only one thing for it. Ray took matters into his own hands - literally - as he silently unbuttoned his pants and yanked down his zipper, exposing his underwear just enough to pull it down and pull his cock free.

Taking it in hand, he gave himself a gentle pump to test the waters, his mouth falling open when it gave him the relief he needed. It didn't match her mouth or tight pussy, but it was enough for now, making him pliant and vulnerable, aching for his angel to take care of him.

"Touch that phone, and you'll sleep in the pool."

It was an empty threat as (y/n) knew she couldn't sleep without her doofus, but she certainly meant business. Nothing came between her and food, especially a four-course meal, not even her adorable idiot.

"Ugh...but darlin', look..." Ray complained, and she knew that throaty, whiny tone anywhere. Her gaze snapped to him, mouth dropping open and liquid eyeliner pen smudging a wiggly line when she saw the debauched sight on the bed.

It shouldn't have affected her so much, but she couldn't help it, not when he looked so...fucking hot. Head thrown back, chest heaving, pants undone, cock in his palm, Ray was a vision, moaning loudly now that he had her attention. His lust-blown eyes held her, groaning unashamedly as he jerked his fist, twisting his wrist when he picked up speed.

"I want you so bad..."

"Ray..." She said breathlessly, makeup forgotten as she watched with wide eyes. Her cunt clenched at the sight, gulping as his hand stroked over his flared head, the one she'd kissed and licked that morning to wake him up.

It's what he was thinking about, flashing through memories of her crying underneath him, of filthy whispers, of how they shared the gentlest, most peaceful high of his life earlier. He needed something to aid his pleasure, sensing how dull everything felt without her in his arms, her scent spiking his senses. Mere memory would have to do, although he refrained from stumbling toward a release, knowing his precious seed deserved to be buried deep inside her where it could perhaps take root.

"Why are you so far away, sweet girl, when you could be sat with me?" Ray cried, feeling like his darling girl was worlds away as he closed his eyes and bucked his hips - making quite the erotic sight for her as she studied every move closely. Licking her lips, (y/n) felt her brain short-circuit when he spat into his palm to lubricate himself, allowing his tight fist to move faster.

"I'm getting ready, doof. Can't--can't do my makeup on the bed..."

The words felt clumsy on her tongue, barely thinking as she focused on the glorious cock peeking out at her. Suddenly, she longed to taste it, going dumb and needy - a reminder of how he'd managed to seduce her so many times before. She could barely think, her pussy ruling her mind as it begged to be filled--to be taken as was her true purpose.

"You can... Just get up here and wrap that pretty little pussy around my cock. Make an honest man out of me," Ray replied throatily, jerking faster at the thought of finally feeling her heat.

He didn't need much, just a squeeze and a chance to make her cum, and he'd spill. And he could be good, keeping his hands to himself whilst she kept him snug and finished her pretty makeup. It wasn't like he had a track record of distracting her...

"It's all I need, sweetheart. Fuck--I just need to feel you around me. No funny business, I promise."

"It's always funny business with you..." (y/n) gulped, imagining hauling herself onto the bed and sliding down his thick length. She really shouldn't have been so needy and slick--should've been sore and uninterested after how many times she'd taken him, but she guessed her super-regeneration was returning, giving her the ability to take him over and over--and it never got old.

She knew where this road would take them. Ray didn't have a restrained bone in his body regarding sex, and he saw cockwarming as foreplay. If she sat in his lap, his hands would be everywhere, and she'd undoubtedly end up squirming, pleading for movement.

She really wanted that dinner...but she suddenly found herself hungry for something else.

"Please?" His begging was the final straw. (y/n) took one look at her forgotten eyeliner wand and then at her doofus, deciding on the spot she wanted his cock nestled within her walls.

She couldn't help it, not when he distracted her with the filthy, wet sounds of him fisting his length, tortured groans, and the whimpers of her name.

"We'll have to be quick..." she breathed out, hurriedly gathering every product she needed and dumping it in a flowery-printed bag. It didn't have to be neat or zippable, just enough to transport everything to the bed, which she dashed over to with an embarrassing neediness.

Ray smirked as she conceded and shimmied out of her soaked panties, glad he still held some power over her. It was flattering to know that she wanted him so badly--that he knew her well enough to seduce her, even against the temptation of food. He welcomed her into his arms, letting her back rest against his chest as she guided his tip to her dripping folds.

"You're--fuck--you're lucky I love this cock, Raymond."

"Feels good, darlin'. Thank you..." The man groaned loudly as his sweet girl settled against him, tipping her head back as she sank down on his cock in one smooth move. He slid in perfectly, filling her drooling cunt, making them both moan as Ray curled his arms around his wife, nuzzling her affectionately.

Her thighs met his, seating her against him snuggly like a queen on her throne. Ray didn't know what to focus on, touching and squeezing her hips, covered breasts, and sliding down to her pussy. He was in heaven, rolling his hips to push into her as deep as possible as he scented the perfume dabbed on her neck, taking deep lungfuls when he buried his face against her.

"Can I do my makeup now?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, thinking it'd be impossible to concentrate with her husband invading her senses.

He had hands like an octopus, occupying every inch of her skin simultaneously, making it impossible to want to stay still. She ached to move, rise and sink, spear herself on his cock, or let him rock into her - God knows Ray wanted to as he whined against her skin.

It would've been so easy to melt into his chest, be carried off on the waves of pleasure, and forget her earlier petty complaints about his insatiable libido. But one look at the ornate silver clock on the vanity unit telling her they had just under an hour before their reservation, and she resisted.

"Sure..." Ray smiled, settling into the pillows as he stamped down the instinct to pound into her. He was content to sit there as promised, gently warmed by her molten heat. He could distract himself with how pretty she was, watching as she did her makeup and trying to ignore how deep he was buried in her.

This would be interesting...

Resting calmly against the headboard, the hero lovingly stroked her hips as (y/n) finished her eyeliner, working with her shaky hands to draw the black lines. It wasn't perfect, but she didn't have much choice, putting the liquid liner away when she clenched around the cock inside her and found that it made her clumsy.

She couldn't concentrate, dying to move, but Ray's hand was firm, holding her still in his lap as the other gently squeezed her breast. Whether deliberate or not, it was maddening to feel him so deep, stretching her so deliciously, but he refused to move.

This was his plan; she just knew it. He was being clever, refusing to try anything because it was funnier to watch her struggle when she'd been all high and mighty about not fucking.

But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of asking for it - no way. Instead, she picked up her mascara, unscrewed it, and brushed it through her lashes, ignoring the doofus behind...even if he was growing restless.

"This is nice..." Ray murmured as he kissed her throat, unbothered by the slick drenching his lap. He'd happily walk around with the stains smeared across his pants, even at dinner.

"Uh-huh."

"You're looking gorgeous, sweet girl..." He turned up the charm, snaking his arms around her tummy to cup her cunt - not moving, just holding it gently as she squirmed.

"Do you flatter all the girls like that, Raymond?" (y/n) asked amusedly, pussy fluttering when his fingers slid over her lips.

She was suspicious of his motivations, although the feral part of her hoped her pushed her to the mattress and fucked her properly. Still, she continued prettying herself, carefully nudging the wand against her lower lashes as Ray chuckled.

"No, just one..."

As if he would ever try so hard with another girl when he had his soulmate naked and creaming on his cock in his lap. He tapped his middle finger against her clit, highly entertained when she jolted at the stimulation and choked when he gave it an experimental rub.

"G-good..."

"She's beautiful...smart...and fuck...her pussy is like a dream," he sighed as he played with her, slowly circling her clit with two fingers--just because he felt like it.

(y/n) yelped at the contact, dropping the mascara wand in surprise, but she didn't care, not even when it created a greasy black smudge on the floral bedspread. Her breathing turned to panting when her throat seized up, blocked by a choked moan as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth. The hero flexed his hips when she melted into him, jostling his cock inside her as he rubbed her clit slightly faster.

"Just can't help but want to keep it filled with my cock...my cum."

"Y-you sa--said n-no funny business, doof..." the heroine moaned, fumbling to retrieve the mascara and safely tucked it back into the tube.

The look was almost complete, save for lipstick, but she felt like adding it would be a bad idea, given that she wanted nothing more than to smush her face into his neck and ride him. They'd end up smudged in red stains, not a good look when you're already fucked out from a rough, pre-dinner session.

"S'not my fault, darlin'. This pretty little clit looked lonely," Ray joked, biting her jawline as she moaned, grinding her hips into his lap as he stroked the sensitive nub. He laved over her skin, tugging her lacy bra down to reveal her nipples - desperate to pull and tweak them.

"I'm...busy." He didn't believe her.

(y/n) set her face in a straight line, trying to keep herself calm since she hadn't put on her dress, and he wasn't even close to being ready. But he made it difficult, squirming underneath her to move his cock against her walls whilst doubling his speed on her clit. She knew this would happen, but she only had herself to blame as she began rocking back into him.

"Really? Well, then, by all means, carry on, sweet girl. Make yourself look pretty while I'll make you cum," her husband suggested, despite knowing how this would end. He had half a mind to raise her body and pound up into or push her forward to press her into the sheets, but he resisted.

"Let's see who finishes first." He preferred the competition.

She whimpered as he circled her clit, giving her immense pleasure but never moving. He grunted quietly at how she responded to his touch, and the tip of his finger drew tighter circles over her clit, making it near impossible to argue with anything he said. He could've asked her anything, and she'd agree, instantly turning cock-dumb when impaled on his impressive length.

"Make me cum, doofus... Need it," (y/n) wailed, tilting her head until her lips pressed against the curve of his jaw while his hand steadily worked her pussy.

"Thought you were busy..." he replied cockily but rubbed faster anyway. He couldn't ignore her, aching to feel her heat tighten around him like he'd wanted all evening--ever since he saw her step out of the shower in nothing more than a tiny towel to cover some of her modesty.

"Ray!"

"But I suppose if my sweet girl wants my attention, she can have it. She just needs something to cum on, don't you?" He asked, chest rumbling as he rubbed impossibly harder, heat turning the room hazy.

"Yes..."

"You need my cock, don't you?" He asked further, bucking his hips in micro-thrusts as she tilted her head against his shoulder, feeling her high just around the corner. The pressure built slowly and then, all at once, spurred by the tiny friction in her crevice and his skilled fingers.

"Yes!"

"Then, cum on it, sweet girl. Soak my cock--let all those pretentious fuckers in that restaurant know who's my girl..."

Her body tensed and squeezed him, and Ray shushed her before she realized she was making those tortured noises - screams of pleasure as her cunt spasmed. His free hand settled tight over her mouth and guided her to turn her lips toward him, swallowing her wails with a filthy kiss full of tongue and teeth.

He licked into her mouth, tangling their tongues together to taste her sweet honey. As she came down from her high, her ass slowly stopped, ceasing grinding against his crotch as the first flutters of oversensitivity tickled her pussy.

Breaking the kiss, Ray buried his face into her neck and started groaning again, whispering low praises into her ear in his deep, rumbling tone, and she had to remind herself to keep breathing. His fingers enveloped her clit again, rubbing through her moans about it all being too much, cock throbbing hotter than sin, building pleasure into an intense, slow crescendo.

"Hmph... You come so quickly after the first one, darlin'. So...so fucking good for me...G-Give me another--s-squeeze me, pretty girl..."

Ray couldn't help but gasp and pant as he talked her through it, staying perfectly still while engulfed in her drenched, fluttering cunt. His hand fondled her breast for dear life, holding it like an anchor as he refrained from fucking into her. He was stimulated by the smugness of tempting her into his wicked games, knowing she was willing all along, yet he had to wait his turn.

His words pushed her over the edge, nodding pathetically as she followed his instructions--because she was his good girl, strangling his cock when he pulled her nipple.

She couldn't help but squeeze him tightly, digging her nails into the forearm stretched across her tummy--the one still playing with her folds. Her back arched against him, knocking her nose against his jaw when she thrashed her head from side to side, breath catching his ear as she convulsed.

"Perfect girl...doin' so well for me," Ray groaned, barely feeling the sharp claws leaving red crescents in his skin as she drenched his cock, soaking his pants and underwear even more.

"So good to me--to let me fuck you like this. Think you deserve a little more..." He said softly before rocking his hips into hers. The slight contact felt heavenly, leaving her slack-jawed and limp as he held her hips and thrust into her, creating a gentle, slapping rhythm against her thighs.

(y/n) leaned forward a little, eager to give him more room to manoeuvre. He grinned at her desperation, stroking his hand down her curved spine as he began pumping fluidly into her, already at the end of his tether after teasing her for so long.

The position - folded in half from behind - gave him the perfect angle to hit that spongy spot deep inside her. He pulled her ass into him repeatedly, lifting his hips to meet hers as she moaned and thumped her fists against his thighs, fucking strong and steady.

"F-fuck--fuck me harder!"

"I--I got you, sweet girl..." he promised, twitching faster until their bodies shook, covered in a sheen of sweat from the humid weather.

He was careful not to ruin her makeup but curled a hand around her throat and pulled her back into his chest. Their skin was scorching, and everything suddenly felt a little too hot, but the rutting didn't stop, shredding heaven inside her as Ray sank his teeth into her shoulder.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum..." he grunted, licking over the bite mark as she whined, ready for his cum - wherever he gave it to her. She wanted that--feeling him engorging inside her made her cunt flutter again, signalling she was close for the third and final time.

"Give it to me, doofus--" she begged, clenching around him like God commanded, wringing her out until she gushed around him.

She couldn't fucking breathe—the pleasure was too overwhelming, her face was scrunched in painful pleasure, threatening to smear her mascara, eyeshadow and eyeliner with tears, yet his assault was still relentless. She could only close her eyes, furrow her brows, crack her mouth open to pant raggedly, and let him own her body as he pounded toward his release.

The heavy, wild thrusts stole every sense away from her, plunging into her ruined hole, shaky as he growled praises and curses--thanking those who gifted his sweet girl to him and hating them for not making him last longer. She didn't even feel him pulling out of her until a splash of hot liquid shot up her back.

"Fuuuuuuck...so pretty...perfect...love you..." Ray roared as he swiftly jerked his cock to completion, releasing over her arched back until she was coated in his pearlescent cum. He groaned as every drop erupted, squeezing the sensitive tip with the sight of her pink, puffy pussy to add to his pleasure.

"Oh, fuck...doofus," (y/n) whimpered as she bowed to him, happily accepting his precious gift, even if she preferred his cum inside. She knew Ray loved seeing her sated and claimed, smiling when she felt it trickling toward her ass.

Her doofus was an ass man, through and through. It ought to please him, and she hoped he was satisfied enough to make it through--for now.

"God--you look good all painted in me. Shows everyone who you belonged to." True enough, he squeezed her hip when he finally came down, breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath as he committed the erotic view to memory.

He loved seeing her like this, knowing he was the only one who did it to her--his signature would tell them to stay away, too. She nodded sleepily, reaching to rub her eyes before remembering they had dinner plans. Fuck, she felt like she could sleep for a hundred years and wiggled into his warm touch, barely finding the brainpower to reply.

"I think...I think they already know from the way you make me scream. I bet the whole island can hear me..." She said shyly, wondering if anyone lost on the beach or any passing worker heard them fucking--namely her screeching to high heaven.

It wouldn't surprise her, but the thought made Ray smirk as his hands explored her waist and ribs - avoiding the expanse he'd cum on. He wanted that to stay like a picture longer, even if they were still hurtling toward their reservation. And honestly, he didn't care if they figured it out - she looked gorgeous like this.

"True..." Ray grinned, eyeing her wedding ring as she clenched her fists. He knew it wouldn't ward off every fucker trying his luck, but it would do a damn good job. The symbol of his promise to her...

"But I love this...The prettiest sight," he said softly, swiping a finger through the mess on her back and bringing it to her lips.

(y/n) sucked it into her mouth without hesitation, groaning at the familiar, salty taste. How it made her sore walls clench again - Ray couldn't help but smile at his sweet girl. His sweet, greedy girl as she licked her lips and awaited the next blob, knowing he wanted to clean her up in the best way possible.

And not a drop would be wasted.

"We're gonna be so fucking late for dinner."

They weren't. Not really.

Well, they were late by traditional standards, but all things considered, the couple arrived at the fancy-schmancy restaurant in style.

Her hair and makeup were slightly ruffled and smeared, her dress was a tad rumpled, and to any observant person's eyes, it was clear what they'd done, not that (y/n) cared. She followed closely behind her doofus, wearing a polite smile, who looked worse than her with his rushed quiff, creased shirt, and crooked tie.

Ray was such a smug bastard, strolling into the joint like he owned the place and not like he'd had to dab his pants to remove the more... noticeable stains covering his crotch. He had no regrets, smoothly shaking the head honcho waiter's hand as he introduced his companion--his love--his wife.

They were escorted to their table with no witty comments or raised eyebrows - that's not how the hotel worked. They specialised in privacy, no questions asked, and (y/n) guessed they were used to seeing overexcited honeymooners smooching and stumbling from a quick fumble in the shadows.

"You look beautiful, sweet girl..." Ray cooed once they were settled, sipping a fine Cabernet Sauvignon.

He held her hand over the table, stroking her thumb and waiting for their first course of tadpole's eyeballs or whatever they served here. He was more of a burger-and-fries kind of guy, but if his wife wanted a romantic dinner, he would give her one.

"No thanks to you, doofus. You really did a number on me..." (y/n) replied with an almost shy smirk after putting her wine glass down, watching as he beamed and relaxed into his plush, velvet chair. He filled it perfectly with his bulky frame, looking like a king against the gilded background of red carpet and crystal chandeliers.

"I think you look even better like this. Look at the other people here...Do you think they'd ever fuck thirty minutes before coming to a place like this?"

She almost choked on her saliva at his hushed words, scanning the room to check that no one heard him. Talk like that would surely get them thrown out, but as she gazed at the crowd, observing all types of people, she realised her doofus had a point.

They all looked far too snooty to contemplate doing something immoral and raunchy. All the old ladies turned up their noses at the smallest glimpses of affection from the more lovey-dovey couples around the room, including them. Their husbands didn't spare them a glance, too busy on their phones or eyeing up the pretty waitresses to value their wives' company.

It was sad, but it reminded (y/n) of how lucky she was - to have a husband willing to deface his reputation just to show his love for her. It was sweet in Ray's own unique way.

"I suppose not..." she conceded, tenderly stroking his hand as he looked at her with those big, puppy-dog eyes, all attention on her.

It made her chuckle, thinking about their mad rush to get ready once the orgasmic haze lifted, patting down hair and cleaning clothing, making Ray so antsy that he nearly bit the head off of the taxi driver who came to pick them up. And luckily, it was the same plucky kid who'd helped carry their bags on the first night - the flirty one. The one her husband didn't like.

"You know, you've scarred that kid for life. He doesn't even know what thermoplasmic ultra detonator is, let alone how far you can shove it up his...you know what."

"He shouldn't have flirted with my wife," Ray shrugged, recalling how he grabbed the kid's collar and held him against the hotel's brickwork before he could say je ne regrette rien. He may have made a few threats, but he wasn't sorry, not even a little bit.

His sweet girl was angelic and unassuming, so she didn't see how that kid leered over her. While she saw naïveté, Ray saw impure thoughts with his learned eye. He was once a twenty-something-year-old - pretty girls are pretty girls, married or not.

"He wasn't flirting..." (y/n) insisted, knowing whether that boy tried it on or not, it wouldn't work on her.

"He said you looked pretty."

"He was looking for a tip!" She exclaimed, smooching his knuckles when her poor love pouted, remembering the memory with a sour expression and displeasure. Admittedly, the boy was a little too chatty during the ride along the bumpy road, but she could deal with that, even if she preferred to talk with her newlywed lover.

"And I gave him one. Come near my wife again, and I'll make your butt explode," the hero sniffed cooly before taking a large gulp of wine. He looked so handsome in the soft, warm light, making her tummy somersault and flutter when he grunted and frowned, roused by the helper's persistent flirtation.

"Oh, doofus..."

"And I think he got the message," he said, smiling when the memory faded a more positive one - when the boy fled with fear in his eyes at Captain Man's wrath and strength. He wouldn't be returning to their villa on any errands soon.

"I did, too. My doofus is as grumpy and adorable as always, and I have my hands full with him..." (y/n) cooed, cutely rubbing her nose against his palm as she lifted it to her face again - utterly besotted with her beloved doofus.

He smiled at that, stroking her cheek as they leaned in as closely as possible, ignoring those who cast a judgemental eye over their open affection. If they could, they'd be making out over the table, but this wasn't some dirty roadside diner; there had to be standards, so the rich folk would have to be content with their enamoured smiles and minimal smooches and think themselves lucky.

"You flatter me, sweet girl..." Ray winked, images flicking into his mind of her on her knees, wide, naive eyes looking up at him, mouth propped open as she prepared to take what she squeezed in her hands... No, not thoughts suitable for the dinner table.

"You make everything dirty, don't you?" But (y/n) saw through his smirk, practically reading his mind when she watched his gaze darken, fists clenching. Utterly shameless...and insatiable.

"Given the chance..." He grinned, kissing her fingertips under the gaze of a haughty lady a few tables over. She was probably just jealous and didn't deter his affection as he proudly nodded, unashamed to admit his lust and love for her - but he wasn't the only one.

"Although you're just as bad as me."

"My darling doofus, whatever do you mean?" (y/n) gasped, pretending his improper accusation scandalised her - that she was a lady of loose morals. She falsely clutched at her chest, where a dainty diamond pendant necklace that matched her earrings lay - a gift from her doofus for their last anniversary.

But her wide eyes and open mouth waylaid a dirty secret, known only by them as Ray gulped and stuttered, breaking his relaxed façade.

She'd slipped her heel off to wriggle her toes free under the snowy white tablecloth, hidden from the critical eyes around the room. Strangely, she wasn't usually one for teasing or public naughtiness. However, a mischievous mood swept over her, encouraging her to trail her foot up his calf, tickling Ray's skin. She had only just had him, yet his hunger had infected her, making her crave more.

"I--I mean, you're sliding your foot so far up my pant leg that you can count the change in my pocket," the hero gulped, eyelids fluttering as a groan lodged in his throat, provoked by how she rolled her toes over his pants' zipper.

Since when was his sweet girl so devilish? Her movements were oddly skilled and gentle, the slightest squeeze making him want to sweep the table and bend her over it.

"I was innocent of the world's ways before we started dating. Look at me now..."

"You've always shown a lot of technique for someone so innocent--Shit, you're killing me here, darlin'," Ray groaned, thinking they both came into the relationship with prior experience. However, he'd always been the more knowledgeable and experienced, leading her into pleasure-filled oblivion since she was more pillow princess than punisher.

Her touch was heavenly, making him shut his eyes tightly as she leaned on her elbows and fluttered her eyelashes. Her arms were tucked into her sides, pushing her breasts together to create a glorious path to her cleavage, and Ray couldn't help but stare. To onlookers, it looked like he'd banged his knee or something, and they'd never guess that the woman was making him harder than steel.

"Oh, you haven't seen all of my tricks..."

"Really? You fancy sharing?" He asked, eyebrows twitching in interest as she shrugged, acting like she wasn't alluding to something...sensual. He was more intrigued by seeing her in the throes of her passion than being teased so torturously.

"Husbands and wives shouldn't have secrets, sweet girl."

"Be a good boy and eat your dinner. Maybe I'll give you a special treat if you do..." (y/n) whispered, winking flirtatiously as she removed her foot, highly entertained when her doofus whimpered.

She grinned when his hips bucked in her direction under the table, knowing she only had to pretend to drop her fork to look underneath, and she'd see a rather large problem in his trousers. Or, she could slip under entirely when no one was looking; a carpet this plush wouldn't leave any bruises on her knees.

But no...she was committed to teasing him like he did to her; after all, it was rather sly how he seduced her right before dinner.

"You're offering me...dessert?" The man asked, his voice dropping a few octaves as he gulped, hoping no one had overheard their teasing conversation. He was down for that, dropping a few hundred dollars on the table and returning to their villa for something a little...sweeter. And it got even better when she leaned forward, narrowly dodging her wine until their faces were almost touching.

"Better than anything they serve here," she nodded, craning her neck to chastely peck his lips before sinking back into her chair and taking her wine glass. Ray's fist almost shattered his, needing a few large mouthfuls to calm his raging lust after being so riled up.

"Fuck me, sweet girl..." he groaned, rubbing his eyes while reaching down to adjust himself - conscious of how his cock noticeably pressed against his zipper--just as the waiters arrived with their first course.

He had no idea how to make it through dinner when she looked at him like that, already cursing his decision to let her leave his bed.

"Oh, I plan to, doofus."

"You--Fuck, sweet girl--you drive me insane--"

Those words were music to her ears, making (y/n) smirk in the warm glow of the porch light.

Dinner had been excellent fun--for her, not for Ray. He'd kept his promise and eaten his dinner like a good boy, albeit with a grimace facing like his fancy food was sour.

After teasing him like that with her slipperless foot squeezing on his cock, he'd slumped back into his chair like the brooding grumpy pants he was, conversing politely and sipping his soup with a dark glint in his eyes. He seldom lost focus, maintaining eye contact with his love whilst she explained an idea for them to go snorkelling with dolphins.

The actual eating part wasn't so bad; it gave him something to focus on, and neither could say it wasn't delicious. For a moment, Ray forgot about his raging hard-on and enjoyed the meal, liking how they could spend quality time together in such a posh location. His sweet girl looked so pretty, wrapping him around her little finger with every joke, anecdote, and plan.

But when dessert came, he remembered why he loved her--and why he'd wanted to sneak off to the bathroom earlier. The final course was a fancier version of chocolate-covered strawberries and ice cream, all whipped and shit to look better than it was.

But at its core, (y/n) knew what she was doing, taking a strawberry and a bite while holding his gaze. Her lips curled around the sweet flesh, licking lightly to mop up any scarlet juice threatening to trickle down her chin, and he couldn't help but follow her lips. Her sultry movements reminded her of how her lips wrapped around his--

He was forced to sit there and make her enjoy every last little bit. And (y/n) milked it, moaning at the sweetness of the chilly dessert and exaggerating how she bit chunks off the strawberries. He steadily swelled in his pants again, ready to pounce when she patted her mouth dry with a napkin and hailed a waiter for the bill.

After slamming his card down, Ray ushered her out the door, a hand strategically resting on her ass while they waited for someone to drive them back to the villa. Cut to reaching their holiday home after a very handsy car ride, and he was desperate, making his move once the taxi driver - thankfully an older gentleman utterly disinterested in flirting with his prettiest passenger - drove off.

"Doofus, I'm trying to get the--the door o-open," (y/n) said between giggles and kisses, her back pressed to the front door with a leg hitched over his hip as her lover frantically kissed her precious lips and neck.

He was achingly hard, prodding her hip as he growled and nipped a line down her throat, thinking more with his dick than his brain. The villa key was limp in her hand, almost slipping through her fingers as she pressed his face further into her neck, enjoying his touch.

"You little minx... Teasing me like that..." He grunted, palming her ass and breasts through her sexy dress. He felt like he was losing grip on his control, going feral when he buried himself in her soft body and sweet scent.

"I should've spread you out on the table...Fucked you right there--let them all watch."

"We both know you don't share, doofus," (y/n) smirked, practically feeling the possessiveness rolling off him. She loved playing this game with him, winding him up until his resilience was hanging by a thread. Usually, she relented after a little while. But not tonight.

No, tonight, she wanted to shake things up, and it started with her beloved doofus being good for her. And he was as he nodded furiously and smothered her against the door, blocking anyone's view from her lush body when he tugged her skirt further up her thighs.

"I don't. Shit--you're all mine, sweet girl," the man whined pathetically, fumbling to feel her silky skin under his fingertips as he struggled with taking her right then and there or taking her away from prying eyes.

"Even if you drive me insane."

"You love it--took it like a good boy," she replied softly, petting his chocolate locks as he nipped her neck and squeezed her thighs. He couldn't help but want to spread them and bury his face between them--perhaps let her sweet moans overtake the chirping crickets as the sound of the night.

But he couldn't. It wasn't appropriate out on the porch - where any hotel staff member or holidaymaker could stroll past their day. So, he decided to get her inside, preferably on their bed, where he could settle her on the plush bed and take his time. It was better that way and not a moment too soon - he felt as hard as fucking steel.

"Get that door open, darlin'. I want to fuck you."

"Ah--ah--ah!" But (y/n) stopped him, booping his nose with each abated word. She looked positively saccharine; her smile was bright and sweet while her hands smoothed down his jaw and neck with her usual tenderness and adoration. But her doofus wasn't having that...

Ray pulled away with a confused yet grumpy frown, looking at her like he didn't like what she said. He wanted her now, but she wiggled away, pushing her hands against his chest and raising her knee between them.

"Don't withhold this sweet lil ass from me--" he grunted, reaching around her body to try and grab another fistful of her backside, but she wouldn't let him.

In a shocking, daring move, his sweet girl circled his wrist before he could lay a hand on her, gripping his tie instead. She yanked the satin material, pulling him down to her level so their lips almost grazed together.

"Oh, I'm not, doofus. But tonight, you'll sit back, relax, and let me sit on your cock," she whispered, nudging forward to give him a ghost-like kiss--barely there, gentle, with a kitten lick of her tongue to make him ravenous.

It was like Ray's brain short-circuited, making him instantly submit to her as she curled his tie around her finger. He gulped at her pleased smirk, feeling his cock pulsate while processing what she was saying.

He could see it now; her above him, naked and glorious as she had her way with him. He'd be a fool to reject that. Ray wasn't so full of himself to think he had to take charge every single time, so he relented, resting his hands on her waist - a safe choice - as he awaited her first instruction.

"Does my pretty girl want to be in charge?" The hero asked, feeling his loins burn at the thought - it was rare to see her like that, although he had no idea what was in store for him.

"She does..." (y/n) nodded, tracing her nail over his expensive shirt as she fluttered her eyelashes, already feeling her underwear starting to stick to her thighs.

"So, you gonna let your wife have what she wants, or...?"

"Whatever my wife wants, she can have," Ray conceded gruffly, ready and willing to get down on his knees if she commanded it. Not yet, but (y/n) was biding her time, smirking as he groaned into her gentle kiss.

He followed her lips eagerly, swallowing everything she gave him as a hand slid to the front of his pants to palm his hard length. He hissed at her touch, feeling like a stupid teenager, ready to cream his underwear as she delicately bit his lip and pulled away, panting.

"Hmm... I'll remember that." With that, she grinned, patted his cheek, and pulled away, turning her back on him to put the key in the door and unlock it.

She pushed it open, waltzing into the villa like her husband wasn't lusting after her. Ray tumbled into the room behind her, subconsciously rumbling in his chest as he loosened his tie. The room felt balmy and warm, almost suffocating for him as he tossed his suit jacket onto the couch before storming forward to take her into his arms.

But he stopped, thinking better when she raised a finger - wait. Licking his lips in anticipation, Ray watched patiently as his sweet girl removed her diamond earrings and necklace, placing them on the coffee table before shaking out her hair. Next, she kicked off her heels, enjoying how she could wriggle her toes freely as she walked to the kitchenette, where they kept a bottle of chilly champagne in the mini-fridge.

"Sweet girl?" Ray asked tentatively, not wanting to step on her authority when it risked him getting some tonight. Still, he was confused by her lax attitude.

If it was him, he'd have her on the bed, legs spread, with his face squished between them, but he infamously had little patience. (y/n), however, had plenty of it, turning around to face him with an amused yet passive face as she poured herself a glass of bubbly--like she wasn't ravenously horny too.

"Yes, doofus?"

"Um...Are we--do you--can I...?" Ray stammered, suddenly all tongue-tied as she stood there, analysing him. He'd said the filthiest things, whispered the most vulgar stuff in the pitch blackness, but he couldn't ask. That would be...too much.

"Are we...what?" The heroine giggled, utterly amused by his pink cheeks and stammer, unlike the confident hero she knew and loved. She knew what he wanted; she wanted it too and craved his cock deep in her walls as he moaned beneath her.

"Y'know..."

"You looked so handsome tonight..." she murmured, ending his misery and sauntering to him.

She took a long sip of the champagne before stroking his chest, licking the expensive stuff from her lips. He blushed at her words, feeling all fluttery and loved as she pulled him into another filthy kiss. Her tongue swirled with his, allowing Ray to taste the delicious alcohol with her honeyed sweetness.

"Be a good boy and go lay down for me. I'll be there in a minute..."

She panted once they'd pulled away, connected by a small string of saliva as Ray desperately nuzzled into his precious wife. He needed her so badly with every fibre of his being, pressing his bulge into her hip as she soothingly played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Don't be long, pretty girl..."

"Ah--no demands, doof--" (y/n) warned him, wanting no orders from him when she ran on a confidence high. She would follow when she was good and ready - when he was squirming.

"I'm in charge tonight, so go to the bedroom, strip, and lay on the bed. But, uh...leave the shirt and tie."

"The shirt?... And tie?" Ray asked, glancing down at his black ensemble and wondering what she could mean. He knew she'd like it since the shirt showed off his muscly arms and lithe torso, but the tie? No idea there.

"What? They're sexy!" She giggled, smacking her lips jokingly at his broad frame, making Ray chuckle and shake his head.

But he did as she said, slowly undoing his belt buckle as he turned toward the bedroom. Brazenly, he stripped his lower half, kicking his pants and underwear into a corner as she watched with hungry eyes. His ass was so cute and pert--and she could only imagine his chiselled abs as he unbuttoned his shirt. He didn't shrug it off, sticking to her rules like a good boy.

The plan had been to drag everything out, make him wait, and go in to see her doofus wrecked before she'd even laid a finger on him. But (y/n) was needy, too, leaning on the back of the couch, sighing, and rubbing her thighs together once she was alone.

God, she wanted him, feeling herself soaking through her panties to the point where it was clinging to her thighs. The champagne took the edge off, gulping it down and pouring herself another glass like liquid confidence; it would loosen her tongue and make her movements fluid.

After a few minutes of sipping the bubbly, she knew it was time to go and see her doofus. He was probably dying in there, so tempted to touch himself, but he knew she wouldn't like that. And who was she to keep him waiting when he behaved so well?

So, she put the flute down and folded her arms around her back, aiming for the zipper on her velvety dress. It was a lot easier when Ray peeled her clothing off, but she managed it, twisting her body so she stood only in her black, lacy underwear. After their little...activity earlier, she'd changed into fresh panties, and luckily, they were one of his favourites.

Retaking her drink and spinning on her heel, (y/n) turned toward the bedroom, walking with a sway in her hips. Her bare skin prickled in the balmy air and Ray's stare as he came into view, waiting on the mattress as instructed. However, he looked maddened, eagerly sitting up when his goddess came in.

Ray gulped at the gorgeous sight she made, wishing he could relieve himself, even just a little bit. Yet he knew that wouldn't end well. Instead, the hero ended up ungraciously humping the air and groaning, ruined by the sexy underwear set she'd hidden under that damn dress. As if he wasn't hard enough...

"Fuck, sweet girl...look so pretty."

"Thanks, doofus. Such a good boy for doing as I said," the woman smiled, feeling beautiful under his reverent gaze as she sidled up to the bed, channelling her inner sexiness when she hovered at the edge.

"Mhmm--does that mean--can we--please?" The man bumbled, eyes glued to his sweet girl as her hands smoothed over her stomach, gaze flickering to the bulge in his boxers.

He was dying, craving physical touch, and it was almost impossible not to wrap a hand around himself. But he resisted, focusing on her sultry movements and how gorgeous she looked in those panties. His wife made him tongue-tied and blushy - it was adorable.

"Please...?" And (y/n) loved teasing him for it, admiring Captain Man in such a vulnerable position.

"Fuck me! Just...please, sweet girl. You know you want it," Ray pleaded, thinking she couldn't be serious as she stood there, looking all innocent with her hands on her hips.

He didn't know what else to do but tempt her, reaching to cup his solid length and squeeze it so she could see how the thickness throbbed--hoping the sight would be enough to get her in his bed. (y/n) wouldn't lie; seeing him palming his cock made her clench around nothing, tongue poking out to moisten her lips as she remembered how good he'd felt earlier on.

"I do..." she nodded, sipping more champagne before leaving the glass on the vanity unit so she could crawl up the bed. Ray's lips twitched in a smile, glad to see her approaching, but to his disappointment, she stopped halfway to lay between his lips.

"I love this cock..." the heroine mumbled with a soft expression, nuzzling and mouthing over his twitching length, loving it when her doofus threw his head back and groaned. It wasn't enough, but her touch provided some relief, leaving darkened marks where her wandering tongue swiped over the cotton.

"It's yours..." Ray choked out, fully submitting as (y/n) hummed, stroking his muscular thighs.

She moved on, kissing his hip bone before stalking up his body. The heroine paused intermittently to kiss or suck little bruises into his skin, paying particular attention to his Adonis belt, abs, and pecs. She couldn't say she didn't love his body, smoothing her hands over his arms until she was at his neck.

"Gonna ride me, sweet girl? I love seeing you bouncing on my cock..." he asked hopefully, tilting his jaw upward as she grazed her teeth over his Adam's apple and licked over his jaw. He entertained her desires, allowing her to take his wandering from her hips - where he'd been pulling her into his crotch - and pushed them over his head.

"Something like that..." It was cute seeing her grinning when she pinned his hands to the pillows, some master plan in her head as she kissed him. He had the right idea because riding him sounded perfect, but it wasn't what he probably imagined.

"But first..." Instead, she giggled to herself and snaked one hand from his wrists, leaving one near the headboard to keep his hands hostage. He could've easily overpowered her, but he didn't. He wanted to see how his sweet girl dominated him, thinking it would be easy to roll her over if he had enough of the teasing.

Assuming his sweet (y/n) wouldn't do anything bold, Ray just laid there, smiling happily like an idiot as her hand traced circles on his chest--before roughly grabbing his slackened tie. His eyes shot open, puzzled by the change of pace as her finger wormed its way into the loose knot, yanking it until it was one long piece of silk in her grasp.

"Wha--wh--what are you doing, darlin'?" Ray stammered, wide-eyed--almost fearful as (y/n) curled the tie in her hands, snapping the material to test its strength. It was good quality, sturdy, and hard-wearing, perfect for her plan.

So, with a smirk adorning her face, the heroine swiftly looped the silk around her doofus' hands, keeping them fixed to the rattan bed frame when she threaded it through the headboard. Ray's mouth bobbed as he tried to find the words. He was so utterly stunned that it was easy to hurriedly knot the tie in a Burlington bowline - easy, quick, and almost undoable.

It wasn't too tight, not wanting to leave raw markings on his wrists later, but she didn't want him breaking free, giving the tie a tug to double-check its security. He pulled his wrists, too, whining when he realised that this was her plan to give him a look-but-no-touch ride.

Could he survive that? Probably not.

"Remember this knot? You taught it to me just after we first met. I've been wanting to use it on you for ages..."

"Fucking hell..." Ray groaned, thumping his head against the pillow as he pulled and pulled, just to end up stuck.

He couldn't move, wanting to hold her hips or squeeze her tits, but he couldn't. All he could do was dig his stupid fingernails into his stupid palms, cursing the day he taught her to do a few knots. It was just a joke back then--something to make his pretty young helper laugh and impress her. He never expected her to remember his Scout's lesson and use it as...as...bondage.

"I want to touch you, sweet girl. You--you can't expect me to sit here and--"

"And what? Take it? Try it, doof. I'm Miss Danger. You're not getting out," (y/n) gloated, sitting back and admiring the picture he made - strong body flexed with his tree trunk-like arms straining against the unbuttoned shirt and fixed above his head, abdomen clenching and flexing under her fingertips, highlighting his hidden strength.

He was beautiful, but Ray wouldn't be defeated. It wasn't like he wanted to resist--lord knows he had her in the same position hundreds of times--but it felt instinctual. The guy was a superhero; when he found himself bound and helpless, he had to fight to get free. Otherwise, it was lights out, and he couldn't switch off, not even when he had a goddess above him.

"I'm Captain Man. I--I can--I can--I can do this--"

"Sorry, doofus. You know what they say..." But (y/n) knew him better, leaning down to pepper his neck with soothing kisses, ready to stop if needed. But she wanted him to settle down, knowing his ego wouldn't go down without a fight.

She needed to be smart, kissing up to his ear as he struggled underneath her. If there was one person who could quench that fire, it was her, fully aware that Captain Man could fight an army, but not Miss Danger's wiles.

"I'm your one and only weakness," she whispered before sucking on his earlobe, pressing her soaked panties into his cock.

"Fuck--" Ray swore, screwing his face up when she rocked against him, the seam of her underwear in line with his length, providing him with enough glorious friction to distract him from trying to escape - sort of.

He still wanted out, rubbing his wrists against the soft material out of instinct. Her hips looked perfect for gripping, practically made for his hands to hold as she ground against him, so he couldn't help but squeeze them. But he couldn't. All he could do was lie there and take it, watching with dark, hooded eyes as (y/n) buzzed with excitement.

She'd never had so much freedom - barely knowing what to do now that she had the Captain Man as her personal doofy toy.

"So big..so brave...but really, you're just my doofus," she muttered, trailing her tongue down his neck toward his chest as he moaned. He'd been hard since dinner, which seemed like a lifetime away now, and now, he had to endure such torture. He was gonna die.

"And I love how you melt for me."

"Oh, God, sweet girl..." Ray moaned in a high-pitched voice, surprised when his sweet girl pulled his nipple into her mouth, biting and sucking on the sensitive buds.

They were so sensitive, making his skin pimply and hair stand on end since he never noticed it. The sensation made him like steel, jumping against her slick slit as she tweaked one and worked on the other. God, she needed to play with these more.

"You're gonna be a good boy and do as I say."

"I am already, aren't I?" Ray retorted brattily, sticking his nose up childishly as her tongue swirled along his skin, hand dipping into the shirt to push it to the sides as much as possible. Yet she wouldn't remove it; seeing him tied up with the garment rumpled on his torso made her doofus look debauched.

Although, she wasn't too happy with his bratty attitude.

"Such a grumpy doofus--just because you can't get your own way," she pouted, pulling away to sit back on his cock, but she didn't move. He didn't deserve it, not when he was a sourpuss.

"I want to touch you," Ray grumbled, although he tried to look a little happier. He hated to rain on her parade, but she was his sweet girl - she belonged in his arms.

Still, (y/n) relented, thinking that her control didn't need to be mean--that wasn't her style. If her doof wanted something to do, she'd give it to him - something fun, something he could put his mind to, something that would put him in his place.

"Okay...you can."

"Really?" The hero asked, looking slightly surprised since his dominance was always his word, hand, and rules. He never relented, yet he didn't know what she had planned.

"Really, really. Stay there."

That was her little joke, eliciting a small giggle from the woman as her husband gave her an unamused look. He couldn't budge an inch, thanks to her sneakiness, making him whimper when she climbed off him entirely.

"No...come back. I'll be good--promise!" He begged like a child, jerking his head up until his chin pressed into his clavicle, watching as she hopped off the bed.

She laughed at the pure terror on his face but quickly showed him what she wanted. As pretty as it was, the underwear had to go, so she unhooked the bra, tossing it over his body as Ray wolf-whistled.

He never failed to make her smile, practically drooling as she kicked off the panties, too - what a shame he was bound to the bed and couldn't show his appreciation. However, when her love complained, she soothed his worries, clambering back onto the bed.

"You'll be good..." (y/n) muttered, poised above his body so she could slowly make out with him. Ray moaned into her mouth, enjoying her sweet lips before she pulled away, smirking.

"Please, darlin'...I need something."

"So much talking... I think we need to put that mouth to better use," she told him, finally seeing her doofus smile when she shuffled up his body past his hips, stomach...chest.

He knew where she was headed, head sinking into the pillow with a dopey grin as her pussy came into view, hovering over his mouth. Now, that was more like it, and he was already licking his lips, ready to please his wife as she got comfy.

Planting a knee on either side of his head, she angled herself over his head, conscious of not squishing him, even though Ray was already lifting his head to get closer. His fire had returned, spurring him to begin the moment her folds were close enough - he could see how wet she was, how fucking delicious she looked.

"Fuck, get those thighs around my head, sweet girl..." he groaned, wanting to feel them like ear muffs, pillowing him better than the duck-down behind him while he feasted.

"Less talk, doofus," (y/n) commanded, gliding her hands through his hair, pushing back the strands that stuck to his clammy forehead.

"You know what to do..." He didn't need anything else, deeply wanting to please her like he innately knew what to do. God, they should've done this years ago, providing him with the perfect job - fuck Captain Man.

He could've happily spent all day there, taking his first few tentative licks through her cunt to relive the fucking perfect taste. He nosed her clit, and closed his eyes, thinking he was born to serve her, to drink her down. He found his rhythm, still wishing he could touch her, but her silky flesh was enough to distract him, and he quickly learned to alternate between her needy hole and clit.

She moaned with a sweet smile, slowly grinding down on his face but never going further. Like anyone, she was terrified at the thought of crushing or suffocating him. She was merely bold enough to kneel above him, not truly sit.

And that wasn't good enough for Ray.

"Closer..." he murmured, resorting to asking since he couldn't tug her closer. She did as he said, thighs shaking from the controlled effort of lowering herself, even though this was supposed to be a tongue workout for him, not for her core.

And it wasn't nearly enough to satisfy him. His tongue could explore and flicker, but he couldn't fully swim, forced to merely dip into her folds because his neck could only stretch so far. Ray wanted to be overwhelmed with her, to feel her body pushing onto him, willing to drown him. He wanted her to sit.

"Sit, sweet girl. Wanna taste you properly."

"I am sitting, doofus," (y/n) replied absentmindedly, too dazed by his performance to care about whether she was truly comfortable. Her aching thighs and abdomen could be ignored whilst he sucked on her clit and fucked his tongue into her--it was enough. But not for Ray, who thought if they were gonna try it, they might as well do it properly.

"I mean, properly sit," he said firmly, knowing he could take it. He craved burying himself in her sweet pussy, wanting to feel her slick dripping down his cheeks and hear her moans like shouts.

"Who's in charge here?" The woman asked with a slight frown, tugging his hair a little to show her displeasure. It felt...good. He didn't need to do more, and she was still gripped by her fear of hurting him for her pleasure--she could manage like this.

"You, darlin'. You, of course, so fucking use me," Ray conceded, treading carefully around her dominance--her turn on top--but he wanted her to let go. It wouldn't be enjoyable if her mind was half-focused on something else, namely, trying not to hurt him.

But he was Captain Man - the mighty, indestructible hero. On his insistence, she lowered by a centimetre, riding his promise that he could take it. It helped a little, giving Ray a fraction of space to suckle on her folds, plunge his tongue deep inside her, and swallow everything leaking out of his sweet girl.

But it wasn't enough. The man needed the weight. He wanted to be buried in the pussy he loved, like he was in charge. As if he'd shy away from eating her out, he prided himself on practically living between her legs. It was his favourite meal, activity, everything.

Deep in his throat, he growled a displeased groan, which snapped her out of her pleasured daydream and back to him. Her pussy clenched - hard - reminding her how much she wanted his mouth on her to replace the emptiness of missing his cock.

She grew wetter from each tender stroke, throbbing so much it was almost painful as his tongue struggled to reach the places it usually did. He liked going from top to bottom, getting to all areas before making her cum.

Looking down, she realised he was staring at her with undisguised lust, burning through fiery discontent; she was his honeyed fountain, and he only wanted to dive in - as stupid as it sounded.

But, frustratingly, he was being held back. Blue eyes met hers, harsh but begging to give him what he needed--waiting like a good boy.

"What's wrong, precious girl?" Ray asked, sensing her hesitation. Despite what many said, he wasn't entirely ignorant of others' feelings, knowing there was something deeper to it.

"Hmmm?" And still, (y/n) played dumb, ignoring the heat on her cheeks as he stared at her, lightly licking just because he couldn't stop.

"If you're gonna sit on my face, sit. Don't tease me by keeping this pretty pussy so far away."

For a long minute, she didn't say anything. Instead, she released his chocolate locks to grab the headboard, sighing because she wanted to. Good God, she wanted to be animalistic--bring the same energy he did when he was in charge. But she wasn't...brave enough. Too many what-ifs.

"Okay, but just saying...If I, you know...If I..."

"If you what, darlin'?" He questioned tenderly, using his voice as a balm as he watched her squirm in discomfort--his most hated sight.

"Honestly, Ray...I can just hover. It's fine--" she offered, adjusting her position, shuffling her knees to lessen the ache in her thighs, meaning she was an inch higher.

His eyes darkened as he lifted his head, and even without his words, she knew what he was thinking--that she'd made a mistake. Wrong thing to say. And it was definitely the wrong thing to do—taking away his pussy after he asked to do his job. Even with her in charge, one rule still stood - no one took away his second-best girl.

"I don't want you to hover. That shit is insulting, (y/n)," Ray said in a severe voice - a rare thing. She gulped when her real name fell from his lips in such a deep grumble, letting her know he meant business whilst he was still brushing his lips against her drenched pussy.

"Sit, sweet girl. And when I say sit--" he paused to suck on her clit, stretching as far as his neck would allow - a long, hard bolt of pleasure that made her howl and jerk forward with a soft cry. At last, she was closer, wanting more.

"I mean, sit."

His head fell back on the plush pillow, welcoming her pussy into his mouth. Her lowered height gave him more room to manoeuvre, and he got to work instantly, clenching his fists when he lapped at her dripping hole.

"That's it, my perfect fucking girl."

"Oh, god, doofus--" (y/n) moaned, subconsciously dropping closer to his mouth--the source providing her with heaven. Heat pooled in her stomach, swirling in tandem with his tongue around her clit, and once he started, Ray couldn't stop.

"Suffocate me, darlin'. Drown me. Let me eat until I can't anymore. Seriously, if I leave this world with my face buried in your sweet pussy, then fuck yes-" he hissed, closing his eyes briefly while he imagined it--easy enough when her thighs clenched around his ears.

Man dead and sent to heaven. Drowned in honey. Wife left in bliss.

"Fuck--that's how I want to go, and you better not take that from me. Let me go out doing what I love," the hero rambled passionately, wishing he could hold her hips and pull her down, wondering how he'd never thought of doing it before. God, he didn't have to work hard - her pussy was all around him.

But he didn't have to wish; mid-rant, (y/n) slumped, slack-jawed and letting her weight fall on his face, so her doofus mashed his nose and mouth into her cunt. His loving words entranced and bolstered her to be more confident, rocking her hips into his mouth in mini-thrusts. It made her laugh breathlessly, thinking she'd never let him drown, but he could try.

"Play with my clit, doofus. Make me cum..." she ordered softly, still gripping the headboard, but one hand returned to his hair, yanking a tuft. And her doofus was only too happy to serve.

"Yes, ma'am..." he muttered, tickling her clit with the tip of his tongue. Usually, he'd have the added benefit of his fingers knuckle-deep in her cunt, but he was up to the challenge. He balanced giving attention to her sensitive bud with his prominent nose to place his tongue at her hole, smiling as he teased it.

"Finally, a decent fucking meal..."

He devoured her, his dexterous muscle plunging into her in place of his thick finger. It channelled her juices down his throat, happily swallowing her honey-like taste as he nuzzled silky flesh like a comfort blanket. He was fucking home, moaning obscenely as her pure essence got him off.

"Shit, Ray--don't stop--right there--" his angel cried, riding his face as he groaned, wanting more of everything - her slick, moans, movement, love.

His tongue quickened against velvety walls, thrusting slowly in and out of her hot cunt as she descended in sensual rolls. Her head tilted back, eyes closed as she whimpered, knowing her end was close when electricity raced down her spine.

"Good girl. Let me have it, darlin'. Use me."

"Don't stop--so fucking close--" Ray never would, enjoying himself too much to angle his face away from his feast. His tongue rubbed against her walls, smearing his face with arousal as she released a strangled cry.

A strong urge overwhelmed her, like a lightning bolt surging down her spine, as she moaned and shook around his head. He felt her orgasm before it came, grinning into her folds as she clenched around his tongue, releasing a wave of juices into his mouth.

"Fuck--Ray!" (y/n) cried as she came, her orgasm uncoiling as he drank everything, licking and sucking non-stop until she collapsed on the headboard. Her hand needed to hold something else; he'd be bald if she kept holding his hair.

Little moans left her mouth as she swayed, not knowing when to stop as he kept going. He loved the sensation of her walls twitching on his tongue, lost in her sexy sounds as his strong arms pulled at his bonds. He was gonna touch every inch of his wife when he was free.

Eventually, though, it was too much, and she lifted herself away when his touch turned torturous--much to Ray's disappointment. Still, he placed a final kiss on his pretty little girl, thanking her for the drink as (y/n) shuffled back to sit on his abs, spent and stayed - for now.

"Good?" He asked with a smirk, knowing his lower face from his nose down was utterly drenched, and he didn't care. That's how he liked to see his precious wife - smiling and glowing after he'd pleasured her, not wondering if he could handle her. He definitely could.

"Very good, doofus--haven't cummed like that in ages. We should try it again..." (y/n) replied breathlessly after a few moments, needing to settle on his stomach for a moment to regain her strength and thoughts.

She'd lost her authority for a moment, but that was okay. Power and dominance didn't come naturally to her. Still, they enjoyed themselves, coming out the other end sweating, panting and smiling. Some more than others...

"Imagine how it'll be when I'm on my full game. Untie me, sweet girl, and I'll show how good it can be," the hero gloated, gesturing to his hands as she giggled and shook her head, thinking of a million more games she wanted to play.

He was cocky, but she loved that, already clenching again at the thought of him with all his assets available. Stroking his chest, she leaned down and kissed him, turning tender in her post-orgasmic glow, softly making out with him like they had all the time in the world.

"Next time, my love..." she promised, rocking her soaked pussy against his abs, loving how the chiselled grooves provided her with gentle friction. Maybe, if he was lucky, she'd clean off her slick with her tongue later, but before that, she had a bigger issue. One that must've been agony for her poor baby.

"First...we need to take care of this."

"Uh..." Ray gulped, suddenly going from cocksure to silent, a faint pink blush dusting his cheeks as (y/n) reached behind her to cup what she smugly assumed would be his raging hard-on.

She expected to find him stiff and throbbing, her fingers itching to grasp his cock and perhaps tease him a little more, but that's not what she found. Instead, her fingertips touched something moist and sticky, making her eyes widen, and her head whip around to see something unexpected - yet highly amusing.

A stain marked his underwear, seeping through the black material to make it even darker. It took her a moment to figure out - feeling a little dumb after such a powerful climax that she couldn't put two and two together.

But then it fell into place, and she broke out into a grin, realising that this man - the man who could fuck her for hours without breaking a sweat, enduring her countless orgasms - had cummed early. Without so much as a squeeze on his cock. The power of her pussy got him off like her pleasure was his--and it was a fucking high.

"Raymond...did you cum just from eating me out?" (y/n) asked, looking like she'd won the lottery as she brought her hand to her mouth, tongue darting out to taste the faint traces of his cum.

He smiled shyly, looking anywhere but her face because it was a little embarrassing--he was as in love with her pussy as he was with her. Everything about the experience made him lose it; from the bondage to her intense climax, it was so hot to him, even though he'd wanted to hold out a little longer.

And he was afraid to admit it once his cheeks cooled down.

"It's like I said, pretty girl. Let me go out doing what I love..."

~Days later~

The sun's rays painted them golden as Ray and (y/n) strolled down the beach - their beach - hand in hand.

They'd been on the island for a week or two, the days and nights blurring together, but it felt like forever. Everything was perfect - mornings spent in bed, afternoons with the knowledgeable locals, and evenings like this...

Ray felt like he was walking on air, not sand, nose full of sea salt and eyes glued to his sweet girl as she excitably recalled snorkelling with a plethora of life in the warm sea. He'd never known what it was like to relax truly, but walking the deserted shoreline taught him something.

He could happily spend the rest of his life there with her, fuck everything, and sleep under the stars with his wife without returning to the stresses in the city. She looked happy, squeezing his hand as they dodged the gently lapping waves creeping up the sand.

But how could she not be happy?

Her doofus could take her hiking, swimming, painting, dancing, and dining; none of it would measure up to this simple thing. It didn't require money, big words, or their fanciest clothes - just their time. And they had that for once. Enough time to fulfil a little dream of hers. Not a big thing, but something she would choose over anything - it meant the world.

If there was one thing she'd always wanted to do, it was this. A walk. On a Hawaiian beach. At sunset. The dream she'd always dreamed of but could never do.

It wasn't much, but it didn't need to be; his company was enough - like it always had been. (y/n) wore her cutest sundress, keeping her jewellery inexpensive but sentimental - the sweetheart necklace from their anniversary, her grandmother's earrings, and, of course, her wedding rings. Everything screamed love and eternity, looping back to the man who made her dreams come true.

It was one thing to want to watch the sun go down by herself, but to share it with someone else? They'd have to be pretty special in her books, and he was - standing there in his partially unbuttoned white shirt and jean shorts.

When she felt swept away by it all - the overwhelming joy of being in dreamland - he anchored her. And she loved that. Loved him.

To live her dream with the man she loved would forever be etched in her memory. The roughness of the sand, the tumbling heat, the glow around the beautiful scenery - the ocean. She'd always loved the sea, which seemed silly for someone who'd always lived in bustling, overcrowded cities. Why long for something you can't have?

It became even more challenging when she began picturing Ray beside her--as if her boss would ever want to traipse across the country for something she wanted. She hated herself sometimes, thinking he wanted more just to be shot down. Hawaii was so far away, but the distance made her grow fonder -- and Ray, too.

Her dream became his, taking the idea of a beach at sunset and running with it after she timidly shared it one night while watching one of her rom-coms. Suddenly, he was there too, dying, begging, wishing to be the man she'd trust to carry something so precious. But the hero thought he'd never have the chance, left to scavenge scraps like when he faked a beach in the Man Cave just to catch a glimpse of true happiness.

He never thought he'd see it for real, yet her smile was worth waiting for.

"It's nice here," Ray mentioned, kicking a tiny pebble into the water as they roamed paradise.

Nice was an understatement, given that the scenery was like something out of an oil painting. If it wasn't for the angel next to him, he'd be unable to tear his eyes away from the pinks, purples and oranges of the sky, turning the palm trees black and the sea a deep violet.

"It is... It's beautiful," (y/n) nodded, squeezing his hand as she hugged his arm and grinned, not wanting to be separated from her husband for a second.

She was taken by the island's magnificence much more than he was, meaning she didn't see how Ray stared at her. Her bright smile entranced him, and he hung on to her every word and giggle like music to his ears. And that dress... he'd never seen someone so adorable.

"Yeah...you are."

"I was talking about the island, Raymond," the heroine corrected him dryly, thinking her loveable idiot had left his mind in the gutter again. He was probably thinking about her nakedness or some other smutty thing, so when she glanced up to give him a pointed look, she was surprised to see his gentle eyes and even gentler smile.

"And I was talking about you. This view has nothing on you, pretty girl," he cooed, bringing her knuckles to his lips as she stared at her bare feet.

It was always difficult to respond when he was so damn romantic, making her swoon and feel like the luckiest girl in the world. She felt like the heroine in some epic tale, and he was the strapping guy written to save her heart. Her heart pounded in her chest, beating stronger with each loving word, and Ray had no plans on stopping.

"You sound like one of my rom-com characters, you silly doofus," she giggled, wondering if all the movies they'd watched had rubbed off on him, even though he was invariably snoring by the time the big confession rolled around.

"That's the plan. I know you love those mushy characters."

It was true. (y/n) loved her sentimental movies, the ones where a bad life became good through the power of love. A very cheesy notion, but it always worked out for them, and the lead girl always got her man, just like she did. God, her life felt like a novel sometimes...

But her doofus was real, insisting he walked nearest the sea when she complained about the wet sand sticking to her feet. He took the brunt of the waves and listened to her like her words were gospel, not just some funny anecdote about a girl she knew at college once.

Denza...something.

Her viewing and reading only got so far as soothing her lonely heart, pointing her toward a real-life hero with arms like tree trunks and a football-sized heart--with an ego to match. She loved the escapism of Christmas films and steamy vampire romances. Still, it was nothing compared to her heart-pounding, toe-curling, gut-clenching love for Ray.

"Not as much as you. Fiction has nothing on my doofus--he's better than movies and books."

"That's a goddamn badge of honour, sweet girl. I'm flattered..." The man laughed heartily, thinking he'd never be as perfect as all the floppy-haired schmoozers in those films. Such movie guys wore red flannel shirts and loose scarves and always met their soulmate by spilling coffee on her. At least when they met, the coffee was already spilt...and there was an unconscious criminal.

They fell silent for the next few minutes, with Ray wearing his badge of affection like the grin on his face - brightly and proudly. Walking a little further, (y/n) suddenly felt a little emotional, knowing she had the sand between her toes and the ocean to her right like she'd always imagined. But it wasn't those things that made it special; it was her love - her sweetheart of a husband.

"Thank you, doofus." It came out like a whisper, her voice breaking as she hugged his arm tighter, trying not to cry. She'd forgone makeup, going all-natural since it was just them, so there was no artwork to ruin. Yet it felt wrong to shed tears; this was her happy place, where some of her most cherished memories would form, starting now.

"For what, sweet girl?" Ray asked softly, stopping their amble to turn and gather her in his arms. Her tears and sniffles spooked him, making his chest clench in worry.

"For bringing me here. For this vacation. For marrying me. For everything," (y/n) replied quietly, snuggling into his chest and tucking his nose against the sliver of skin exposed by his open shirt. Like always, he looked hot; sleeves rolled up his forearms and thighs exposed in those shorts--that should've made him cry, how gorgeous he was.

However, she showered him with praises and heaped them onto her doofus for treating her like a queen. It felt like more than she deserved, although Ray was quick to argue, pushing her hair out of her face before fondling her cheek, thumb brushing her bottom lip.

"You know that I'm bigheaded..." he started, a rare display of self-effacement for one who often tooted his own horn. No one knew that better than (y/n), who giggled through her blurry vision and nodded, shoulders shaking mirthfully.

"Oh, God, yes..."

"But I can't accept credit for this, darlin'. This is your dream. Your beach. Your sunset. I wouldn't be this happy without my wife, so I should thank you."

"And I'm sharing it with you, doof," she argued gently, reaching up to cup his cheeks as Ray looked down. He made it sound like he was an intruder, destined to observe as she lived her dreams merely, but she didn't want him to think like that.

It threw her back to simple, if lonelier, times when Hawaii was a retirement plan. It was not somewhere she ever expected as a honeymoon destination because her heart belonged to a man she couldn't have. But it all changed one evening after another crazy day in their hectic lives when Ray pushed aside that ego and showed his golden heart.

"Remember when you brought Hawaii to the Man Cave? Ice cream, Piña Coladas, TV?"

"You mean when Schwoz thought the world was about to end because of a supervolcano?" The man laughed, remembering that day like the back of his hand. He danced with her, fully expecting to lose everyone he loved, and still, he didn't have the balls to tell the love of his life how he felt.

He didn't know why that was relevant, save that it was a small token of his love to make her smile. Looking back, it had been lovely, just two friends dancing around their feelings after the drama died. Still, he regretted it to that day that he didn't share his love that night after thinking he'd never see her again.

"Yeah... Remember I wanted to tell you something?"

"Vaguely..." he nodded, reverting to that fateful evening. It was dark and cosy - purely romantic, not that he'd admit that. But once the ice cream had gone, they'd snuggled in to watch the 'sunset'; he remembered how she'd gone to speak, only for Schwoz to interrupt. He never found out what that fuzzy little weirdo interrupted, but now, he had an idea...

"I wanted to tell you I loved you right then and there. Two years before I actually did...and you know why?" (y/n) whispered, still feeling the same butterflies from all those years ago.

"Why?"

"Because at the end of all things, you didn't do something for yourself. It was for me. My silly dream... And I knew that if I ever got to do it for real, I wanted you to walk that beach with me."

"Sweet girl..." Ray choked up, amazed that such a small, shitty, unplanned night had impacted her so much.

He didn't think much of it since it was before he could truly show her how he felt because, really, what was a fake sunset compared to a real one? And that hadn't even been his idea, so he didn't count it as a genuine gesture, not when he'd pull the moon and stars from the sky if she asked for them.

"You have no idea what I'd do to make you happy. Just to see you smile..." the hero whispered, eyes crinkling and watering as he smiled, filled with a pure, light emotion he'd long sworn wasn't for him. For years, he'd sworn off love, thinking he didn't deserve it when he messed girls around, hurt people--cheated people. But he felt it for her, and it felt right. Like he deserved it.

"And you're here, doofus. I'm happy. I married the man who makes me happy--who made my dreams come true," (y/n) giggled, thinking she was the luckiest girl in the world as she stopped walking and brushed away his tears with her thumbs.

Ray felt the cool metal of her rings against his skin and closed his eyes slowly, swearing that she wouldn't be there when he opened them. It felt like a fantasy: marriage, love, family, having a home, but his senses said otherwise; he could feel the gentle breeze on his legs, hear the ocean's roar, smell the salty air, and taste her lips on his. Her love grounded him, and when his eyelids fluttered open again, she was still there, smiling, golden, and beautiful.

"I wanted to marry you even back then. Never thought I would. That was my dream."

"I guess both our dreams came true, then..." she replied softly, calming his fears with the touch of her hand sliding down his chest.

Ray nodded, holding his beloved wife close as the sun warmed their skin, dipping further and further until it would inevitably have to say goodnight. The chillier the air grew, the more (y/n) used it as an excuse to snuggle closer - wearing such a thin dress had been a wise trick.

"They did..." her doofus smiled, watching as she paused from their intimate embrace to crouch down on the smooth, moist sand. He didn't understand what she was doing until she began swirling her finger through the ground, drawing her runes on the blank with a cheeky smile as her lover waited to see what it said.

(Y/N) + RAY 4EVER

He chuckled as she drew a large heart around it before standing back to admire her scrawl. The water would naturally wash it away, and whoever took the beach after them would never know they were there - the downside to such a private resort - but they treasured it, knowing their love would stretch far beyond the vacation, the island, their born days.

"I will, you know..." Ray muttered as he welcomed her back into his arms, not liking how she'd left them, even if it was for a moment. They kissed again before (y/n) pulled back with a confused face, wondering what he could mean when she'd merely defaced the sand.

"You will what?"

"Love you forever. And ever. And ever...and ever," the man smiled dopily. He'd always wondered if the feeling in his heart would ever go away as everyone said it would- like he was flying and falling into fluffy clouds, rainbows, and all other cosy things. It had been years, but he still felt the same, knowing he'd know her face, laugh, and smile through all his days, not just in the 'honeymoon' phase.

Yeah, that feeling was never going away.

"Ray?" (y/n) spoke up, stretching on her tippiest toes to softly smooch his lips.

He hummed into her mouth, feeling his love, yearning, and hunger for her soul, body, and mind as he hunched over her frame. They fell to the sand, relieved to find it powdery and dry since they'd edged further up the beach. He found her lips again, coveting her kisses as the sun dipped below the horizon, turning a deep, burning orange.

"Yeah, darlin'?" Ray mumbled, finding his place between her legs as she relaxed against the dune, head tilted back, accepting his affection on her neck.

"I know what my next dream is..." she told him quietly between ragged gasps and swallowed moans. It didn't take much thinking, knowing instantly what she wanted, even in the half-minded state he'd reduced her to. However, it still surprised her doofus enough to cease his ravenous exploration.

"Already?"

"Mhmm..." she nodded, leaning on her elbows to push the hair out of his eyes as he stroked her bare knees.

"Tell me, sweet girl," Ray ordered softly, already planning on maxing out his credit card, ruining his reputation, and sacrificing everything in his name to make her happy. He'd make whatever she wanted to happen happen, swearing on the ring on his finger that she'd never want for anything.

But it was much simpler than that. As lovely as they sounded, (y/n) didn't crave riches, fame, or glory, nor did she want him to break his back with some far-fetched quest. She just imagined them returning to this beach; only when they did, it would be different. A lot different, if she had anything to say about it, knowing life wouldn't be the same when they went home.

"The next time we come back here, we'll have kids. And we'll be living happily ever after."

"That your dream or mine?" The hero joked but intertwined his hand with hers, pressing their wedding rings together. He couldn't think of anything more perfect, which showed in his smile.

"Our dream," his sweet girl whispered and grinned, wondering when their dreams merged, but she was so glad they did. He was her life now, their fates inextricably woven together, and she couldn't wait to see where it led them. It had only taken them thirteen years to get this far, but she didn't mind waiting again. She'd stay forever...

"Ours..." he nodded, kissing her glinting rings as he returned to the crook of her neck, hands sliding under her skirt and up her thighs, where he'd find her bare and shivering. Both knew where this would lead, their lovemaking covered by the crickets' song and the ocean's rumble as the moon took its friend's place, shrouding them in a different light.

New light, new beginnings, same love.

"I love you, (y/n) Manchester. I always have, and I always will."

~A few weeks later~

Paradise couldn't last forever, not even if Captain Man tried to stretch for a few more hours. Ray and (y/n) waved goodbye to their beloved villa, island, and vacation after three weeks of uninterrupted bliss. They were sad, of course, tearfully making love for the last time in the bed, pool, beach--wherever Ray could find since he didn't want to go.

He liked it there and didn't want to return to the humdrum stresses of his daily life despite having an enviable career, a gorgeous wife, and a newly purchased home.

The Man Cave was gone, as confirmed when they stepped off the plane. It was a total wreck and utterly unsalvagable, meaning (y/n) swore they were homeless while Ray called Schwoz to pick them up. But, as always, the hero had a trick up his sleeve, treating his queen to a new palace on top of a mountain, of all places. He'd left everything in Schwoz's capable hands, purchasing both a school and headquarters for their personal and professional lives.

How could (y/n) forget? They had new blood to train, youngsters with uncontrollable superpowers, and the city's superheroes refused to let them return to normality. It was too late for them to just go about their business like the Omega Weapon hadn't zapped them, so they summoned Mila, Miles, Bose, and Chapa to their new venture. A school, or SWAG, as Ray called it - The Swellview Academy for the Gifted.

She didn't know how to feel about it all, having only just gotten to grips with their new home and job titles when their new students enrolled, eager for a tour of their school. Her? A teacher? It seemed silly because (y/n) still felt like a student, a mere sidekick to Captain Man, who had much more experience and suitability to train a new generation of heroes. But Schwoz convinced her, saying she had skills Ray couldn't dream of--and he'd go insane if he had to live alone with him.

So, it was decided. In the day, they would be Mr and Mrs Manchester, professors at Swellview's newest top-rated education facility. By night, they would go upstairs, where a squeaky new hideout waited for them.

She missed the Man Cave, but the Man's Nest was just as good, spanning hundreds of rooms, all of which her doofus couldn't wait to christen. He knew that this was where their family would begin again, whether with the gaggle of children running behind them or with a babe of their own.

He couldn't wait for a peaceful life with his newly-wedded wife...although peaceful wasn't quite the right word.

"Stop it, Raymond!" (y/n) squealed as the man behind her pinched her ass - a shocking move when they were in public view outside their new front door. He didn't care, lovely patting his favourite feature as his other hand snaked around to cup her breast, squishing her body to his as his sweet girl tried to maintain some semblance of respectability.

"Why?" Ray grinned, loudly smooching his wife's neck as she squirmed. He could see her smile through her attempts to remain dignified, and it spurred him further, burying his face in her sweet-smelling skin despite their nearby guests. He'd been like this since they came back - extra affectionate, even in front of the most undeserving people, who needed their eyes to bleach afterwards.

"The kids will be here any second!"

"They're with Schwoz..." he shrugged, vaguely remembering that his new protégés were walking up the hill and probably nearly in earshot. Still, none of that mattered when she was in his arms. Ray couldn't remember a time when he'd been so happy, and even if stress, failure, and disaster were in his future with this latest scheme, he knew he'd be okay with her.

"Who also doesn't need to see you fondling my boob." However, (y/n) thought differently, her voice dry and sarcastic as her husband squished the pliable flesh like a stress ball. He was not ashamed, even when she swatted his hand away and led it to her stomach - a much safer place.

"Oh, yeah... He wasn't too happy earlier, was he?" Ray sniffed, sourly remembering how his resident handyman/assistant yelled at them earlier for...soiling the couch two weeks after he'd bought it. Part of him wanted to smile; he'd always loved pissing Schwoz off, but maybe not when he had to escape with his pants around his ankles.

"No, he wasn't. A week after your honeymoons, and you're already doing the smoochy-smoochy," (y/n) recalled, imitating the small man's peculiar accent, making her lover laugh. She wasn't necessarily mad - not at all since 'the soiling' was magnificent - but she didn't want to dig their hole deeper and cause an argument, not with the children around.

"Three weeks isn't long enough. He'd say the same if he had an incredibly hot wife, too." The hand on her butt tensed, pinching her again to make her jump, much to Ray's amusement. Three weeks wasn't long enough, but it wasn't like they hadn't done things since they'd moved in. He was just pushing his luck.

"Hands to yourself, doofus!"

"But sweet girl..." the doofus whined when she slipped out of his arms, straightening her sweater as she heard footsteps and clamouring excited voices. The last thing she wanted the kids to remember from their first day at school was something rude, lewd, and possibly nude, so she slipped her hand into his and leaned into his side, telling him to be content with what she gave him.

"Just...behave yourself. They're coming!" And she was right. Ray quickly stiffened his spine and posed against the door, acting cool and calm as Schwoz rounded the corner. He didn't suspect anything, merely seeing his two bosses, Mr and Mrs Manchester, waiting patiently as he guided the students to the front porch.

"Welcome to the Swellview Academy for the Gifted..." Ray said to them as Miles, Mila, Bose, and Chapa approached. They nodded at the tidy, pleasant space, impressed that Schwoz had planted some bedding plants in light wood boxes and hung a giant sculpture of SWAG's crest. It was an excellent porch, yet poor Bose took things a little too literally.

"I love it! This is my seat!" The boy exclaimed as Ray wrapped his arm around his precious wife, both confused to see the boy sitting cross-legged on the dirty ground.

'Good God, he's another Jasper,' Ray couldn't help but think, but a squeeze on the arm from his sweet girl, and he quickly calmed down. He was a little slow, that's all, and he had to remember his patience.

"No, no, Bose, sweetheart. The school's inside with desks and pencils and other learning things," (y/n) told him gently, having forgotten how dense the kid could be. At least he meant well, and she reached out to help him up since he couldn't sit on the porch all day.

"When can we see them?!" Mika asked in a rush of words, practically screeching above (y/n)'s voice once Bose was on his feet. The heroine was a little shocked until she remembered how eager and hyper the girl was, unlike the sullen one beside her.

"In a second, but first--" Ray tried to tell her, trying to stay in control since he was the boss, hero, headteacher--yadda, yadda, yadda. He'd forgotten what it was like to have four unruly, pubescent youths in his midst before getting to know them - so used to his old family working like a German clock - so it wasn't a surprise when they grew impatient and ignored him.

"That was a second!" Chapa exclaimed and charged, breaking through the line of adults to push inside the classroom despite Ray's best attempts to prevent it. If they ran together, he couldn't stop them all, leaving him, Schwoz and (y/n) slightly winded and definitely exasperated on the porch.

"They are not good listeners..." Schwoz sighed as the kids ran around the pristine room, marvelling at the smell of fresh paint and the sight of the fancy, unmarked desks and high-tech teaching equipment. They couldn't believe their luck, whilst the men outside couldn't believe what they'd gotten themselves into.

"Nope..." Ray agreed, biting his lip to keep in his screams. It was never like this with Henry, Charlotte, Jasper or Piper.

"They will learn..." (y/n) soothed them, turning in the hero's arms to stroke her hands down his chest and kiss his cheek. He sighed, not knowing if she was right, but he trusted her judgement, following his students into the building without too much stress. Inside, they were still buzzing, testing everything out, from the comfy spinning chairs at their personalised desks to the state-of-the-art interactive whiteboard.

"Is this the new Man Cave?" Bose asked incredulously, wondering if they'd learn and fight crime from the pokey room, with its own little pantry and staircase to wherever.

"No, this is not the new Man Cave," Ray replied, guiding his sweet girl briskly across the room with an exhausted expression. It hadn't even been five minutes, and he wanted to clunk skulls together. He was comforted only by the angel at his side, who dealt with stupid questions much better than he did.

"There's a new Man cave?" Chapa questioned just as eagerly, beaming at (y/n) this time, who thought her toothy grin was quite cute.

"Yeah, sort of..." she nodded, also excited to show them what they'd bought and built in such a short time, and no one would ever guess they were related. After all, why would Captain Man be interested in a tiny, four-pupil school?

"This is the school we bought for you guys so that (y/n) and I can teach you how to be superheroes," Ray explained as they took their place at the lectern, looking like the world's most clueless teachers but the most in love couple.

"This is my desk!" Mika exclaimed, ignoring the man as she claimed her seat, even though there was a seating plan. Well, not anymore, as the others followed suit, plonking their butts in any space they fancied, regardless of whatever their teacher tried to say.

"Well, you can't say they aren't enthusiastic..." (y/n) joked quietly, grinning at their energy as it infected her, lessening her nerves about how she'd shape their futures. Ray wasn't quick to agree, disliking how rowdy and unruly they were--and how fond of touching things they seemed to be.

"Hey, what does this button do?!" Chapa asked raucously, tracing her fingertips over the smooth, large button on her armrest.

"Do not push that!"

"No, no, no, no!" Ray and Schwoz exclaimed, halting her movements whilst (y/n) spouted nonsense about looking with eyes, not hands. Her hand hovered above the button, utterly tempted to press it just for the hell of it because it obviously did something. And they didn't want her to know just yet - she'd never been good with authority figures.

"Well, now I wanna push it more."

"Me too..." Miles agreed, too tempted to ignore his curiosity.

"Guys, please...All in good time," (y/n) tried to quell them, appealing to their sensible sides by saying they'd be allowed to soon, but they were too excited. Even Mika - the goody-two-shoes - couldn't help herself, apologising profusely before the quartet slammed their hands onto the buttons.

Ray sighed, his shouts in vain as the chairs activated, sending the kids through the ceiling and upstairs to the hideout in what was supposed to be a secret yet speedy way of getting to their battle stations when there was an emergency. Well, that was that surprise ruined, making Schwoz snigger. He couldn't wait to see how this panned out.

"Not good listeners..."

"Nope," Ray agreed, clenching his jaw with his hands on his hips. Suddenly, he felt he'd bitten off more than he could chew, but what was he supposed to do? It would be irresponsible to leave four untrained tweenagers with uncontrolled powers, but really? He was gonna be grey before he hit forty...

"They will learn..." (y/n) reiterated, unfolding her arms as she turned to her husband, whose brow was wrinkled and tight from stress. She hated to see it, but it seemed like they'd forgotten their early struggles with their first protégé, who had to be moulded into the young hero he was today.

"Henry was exactly the same."

"There was just one of Henry. Now, there's a whole bunch of 'em," her husband frowned, his heart aching at the memory of his former sidekick - so far away in Dystopia. He and all the others were fine, making their mark on the world one save at a time, but he couldn't help but miss them. Starting again didn't feel right at his age...

"So? We're superheroes, doofus. If we can handle bad guys, we can handle a few kids." But his pretty girl was there to soothe his worries, wrapping her arms around his neck as his forehead rested on her shoulder.

Schowz wandered off to do whatever chore he needed to do, fed up with seeing them being all affectionate and loving after their getaway. He thought it was bad before, but this was on another level, perfect for their new life together but annoying for those who had to witness their passionate kisses and roaming hands.

"And what about you, sweet girl? You like it? Our new place?" Ray asked, respectfully holding her hips, not because he wasn't in the mood - he always was - but because he knew his handyman had eyes and ears everywhere. He wasn't in the mood for a telling-off, not when standing with his hot wife, a teacher now and a superheroine. God, he needed a fan - he was in awe of her.

"Well, it needs to make a few memories first, but I think we'll be happy here. It's got windows!"

"I know I'm already happy. You've made me the happiest man in the world," he cooed, nudging their noses together, pleased by her response.

Their new home was brighter and airier than the Man Cave, although a little soulless since there was still so much to explore. But (y/n) was making the best of it, decorating their new bedroom with their combined tastes and ensuring Schwoz reinforced the bed--for comfort. Definitely for comfort.

"Don't be so grumpy, then. Let me see that handsome smile..." She smiled, pushing the man's cheeks with her finger until he was beaming, which was inevitable when his wife gave him her affection.

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." Lost in their own little world, Ray pulled her in a kiss, licking the seam of her lips as they smiled, nerves fading into excitement for the future. His hands trailed to her ass, cupping the squishy flesh as (y/n) hummed appreciatively, knowing that whilst things may change, she'd always have his peppermint-bubblegum taste to comfort her.

Minutes passed, and Schwoz wondered where they'd gotten to as chaos ensued upstairs, thanks to the four children running unsupervised. He poked his head through the pantry door to see them in a hot, heavy make-out session, pulling on clothes and hair as their rings glowed. He knew he shouldn't have left them alone...

"Are you two gonna stand around doing the smoochy-smoochy all day, or are you gonna go upstairs? Bose is literally climbing the walls!"

"Stop calling it smoochy-smoochy, Schwoz!" The hero shouted, pulling away from his sweet girl abruptly, looking irritated as Schwoz fled the room. He knew Ray hated being interrupted and wisely sprinted upstairs whilst (y/n) giggled in her lover's embrace. He looked so pissed off but softened when he looked at her again, almost pouting now that the kissing was over.

"He's right, though, doofus. Annoying, but right. We should get up there before they burn the place down or break something," she said softly, brushing her fingers against his forehead as her husband sighed. He knew they had left the peace and quiet in Hawaii, but he didn't think life would become so complicated and demanding so soon. Apparently not...

"Ugh, fine..." He groaned, knowing she was right. They were the leaders, teachers, heroes, so they couldn't spend all day in the throes of passion--as much as he yearned to. He sighed and pulled away but kept his hand in hers as she pressed a final kiss to his cheek, confident in their abilities to handle anything that came their way when he saw their wedding rings.

A promise of a lifetime together, throughout the good times and the bad, highs and lows, the successes and blows. Their next adventure was starting, and despite a little fear amongst the butterflies, he was excited, knowing he wasn't starting again, just...carrying on.

"Are you ready, sweet girl?"

"Of course, doofus. Let the danger begin..." (y/n) smiled, following close behind Ray as he escorted her upstairs to the unskilled and unruly children. Their new adventure.

She'd come to love them as her own, just as before, although she hoped there'd be less heartbreak and much more love this time. It wasn't the end, merely the next chapter in a new book - a sequel.

The story of (y/n) Manchester, helper, heroine, sweet girl, wasn't quite over yet. This was only just the beginning.

5 notes · View notes

queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

Text

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Epilogue Part 1: All's Well That Ends Well

Season 5 Masterlist

Honestly, they were like kids.

With their sudden but sure decision made, Ray stumbled after his sweet girl, giddy and laughing like he was drunk as (y/n) led him away from the depressing service. He wanted to ask where they were going, what she had planned, and why everything seemed so deserted on this side of the mountain, but this was her surprise.

And he was trembling with too much trepidation to ask.

But there was no need to worry. (y/n) knew what she was doing, clutching his hand as she weaved through the undergrowth to a much quieter area, one with a damp, overgrown path that no sane hiker or mourner would ever take. The tree roots ran thick, and their knees brushed against some branches as they delved deeper into the wilderness, stumbling and almost tripping when they focused more on each other and not on the rocky path before them.

Still, they couldn't be blamed when they were so in love. And eventually, however, it all made sense when (y/n) pulled her doofus into a small clearing, hidden from the more apparent trails by towering trees, wild bushes, and long grass. It should've been like a jungle, but all Ray saw was beauty.

Blossoms stretched as far as the eye could see, tiny flowers clinging to the trees before falling like snow, coating everything in a pinkish blanket. It was a scene he'd only heard of when she whispered her dream ceremony in his ear in the dead of night, confessing that she wanted the darling buds of spring to fill every aspect of their wedding, so the blooms couldn't be more perfect.

It was precisely what she had dreamed of, the delicate pink offsetting the lush vegetation as he gasped at the stunning scene. He didn't blink as he took everything in. He didn't want to miss a single detail because he wanted to remember everything from the groove in the dirt lined with petals - the 'aisle' - to the ones hovering around the edges.

Their family were waiting, split into two groups for the bride and groom because it was bad luck for them to see each other. This would be informal, but (y/n) wanted some traditions to stay the same, telling Henry, Schwoz and Jasper to wait by a pretty overhanging tree and tree stump at the foot of the aisle.

They were the groomsmen, whilst across the clearing, behind some thick shrubbery, Charlotte and Piper waited for the woman because they were the bridesmaids - a crucial role. The girl needed to look divine before she walked down the blossom-strewn path, looking slightly mused after leaving for the funeral, so they had to part ways.

Leaving each other's side would be difficult when they'd committed to taking the plunge, but she insisted. It would all be worth it in the end, and Ray would never begrudge her a few final touches.

"You okay, doofus?" (y/n) whispered as they paused momentarily, giggling at the man's awed expression and how he looked at her. No one ever looked at her like that--like she was genuinely someone staggering, but she was to Ray.

He didn't know how she'd managed to pull everything off and right under his nose. Yet he couldn't bring himself to feel blind or stupid since it was so lovely, beautifully encapsulating a memory he'd cherish for the rest of his life. And at the centre...his sweet girl, smiling at him as if he lit up her world. And he did.

"More than okay, sweet girl. This is..." he replied softly, not knowing how to put it into words, but she didn't mind. Some things couldn't be described, but she understood him without speaking, squeezing his hand as they admired the serene scene.

A stone's throw away, the boys noticed their appearance and his lovestruck smile, sniggering and joking about someone being under the thumb--an utter simp. No guesses for who they were talking about, but Ray didn't care, entirely focused on his love as she carefully dropped his hand and took a step back. He hated that, wanting proximity more than anything at such a tender time, but he'd thank her later.

"Before you go..." the hero mumbled, chasing after her and dipping his head because she couldn't leave with a kiss - that was madness. She was about to become his wife, and he was utterly enamoured with that thought, making him want to drown in her honey taste before they swore to it.

But (y/n) simply smiled and pushed her fingers between their lips, cutting her sweetness off at its source and making her doofus scowl. That was unfair; she couldn't deny a man the honey he needed to leave, but nothing would ruin their day, not an argument or premature exchange.

"It'll be better if we wait, Ray. Trust me..." she told him gently, cupping his freshly shaven cheek to rub his cheekbone with her thumb. His eyes fluttered at her tenderness, wanting to fall like this for the rest of his life and allow nothing to catch him. However, the electric touch vanished when she pulled away, giving him a knowing look that said she knew that he knew she was right.

"Okay..." the man grumbled, pouting like a baby, but he still agreed. Anything to make her happy was his new policy, swearing that she'd want for nothing in life once she was his, or he could be struck down where he stood. With no honey to drink, he settled for a kiss on her cheek instead, rubbing his nose against her soft skin for a second before giving her one last squeeze.

"Soon, you'll be my wife, sweet girl..."

"And I can't wait to have you as my husband, doofus... See you at the altar."

He knew that look - now, they were supposed to go their separate ways, an utterly disgusting thought. But it was what she wanted, watching forlornly when she blew him a kiss and skipped off to the thick bushes. The jeers and whistles from his friends when he pretended to catch it couldn't bring down his mood, not when he knew what he was up against.

In less than an hour, she'd be his wife, and whilst he'd prefer to get it over and done with now--bounding toward that idea like an excitable puppy--he refrained. Anything to make her happy.

Whilst the thought of drowning in her fiancé's kisses sounded nice, (y/n) couldn't help but skip over to the girls, a spring in her step because it dawned on her. This was her wedding. These would be her final moments before they did it--before she could finally she was married. It was a little overwhelming, and not just for her...

"(y/n/n)!" Charlotte and Piper squealed together, welcoming the woman into their arms as adrenaline rushed through them. It sent them crazy, making them scream, jump up and down, and wave their hands around like a bunch of teenage girls in a rom-com, but they needed the release.

Honestly, (y/n) wanted to howl at the sun and let everyone know that Ray Manchester would be hers after today, and she would be his. She could finally shove a ring in any snooty woman's face and say she bagged him first, knowing she'd done what her younger self deemed impossible. He'd felt so out of reach for so long, meaning she had to fan her cheeks now as she worked herself into a state.

No, the tears would come later during the ceremony, but they didn't have enough time to reset her makeup. Just a touch-up; that's all she'd allow because any longer and her doofus would get antsy. And she would too.

"Okay, okay! Calm! Calm! I'm only getting married!" (y/n) gasped, ending their tight squeeze and pulling away. They tittered for flustering her so, apologising and patting her arms, but it was okay. Weddings always brought out people's emotions, especially when they'd been waiting as long as they had.

"It's only...the happiest day of my life," she whispered, suddenly tucking her arms into her sides as the realisation dawned on her.

Piper and Charlotte didn't waste any time, snapping to it to grab some essential makeup items from the youngest's purse whilst Char began to smooth her hair with a small comb. No lumps, bumps, knots or tangles, just like Piper didn't want any shine, blemishes, smudges, or stains. So, they fixed anything the wind had ruined or her tears had washed away, fussing over their friend as she gulped.

It was weird getting married, and now that (y/n) thought about it, she wasn't sure if she liked it. Of course, she knew wedding jitters when they looked her in the face, but she couldn't help but wonder... Things worked so well with just her and Ray moving in parallel lanes, separate but connected, going in the same direction. Why did they have to change that?

The thought of her marriage becoming one of those soap opera disasters from hell, ending in smashed china, screaming, and broken hearts, made her want to throw up. It wasn't like she thought that would happen, but what if it did? What if marriage was as damning as old people all complained about? What if--

"So, (y/n), are you excited?" Charlotte's chirpy voice cut through her anxiety, bringing the woman back to sane reality, and she realised that they'd been nattering without her.

"W-what?

"Oooh, she's daydreaming! Was it about Ray? Were you kissing him like mwah-mwah-mwah?! Do you lurrrrrrrve him?" Piper laughed, sticking out her arms and curling them to show her biceps in a pathetic impression of Ray.

Her imitation of how the couple canoodled was awful, too, making out with her hand like a curious teenager as (y/n) squeaked and prayed she didn't feel how hot her skin was. The girl sounded desperate, although her thoughts were technically about Ray.

"No! I'm not a cartoon character!" The bride protested, narrowly eyeing Piper as she returned to powdering her face. At least someone was pleased with herself, smiling like a Cheshire Cat as Charlotte rolled her eyes and tucked a loose hair strand behind her ear. Perfection took time, and it didn't help how she kept jerking her head.

"We're just teasing, (y/n/n)!"

"Yeah, for real. Are you excited?" Piper giggled, carefully manoeuvring around the contours of the woman's nose, seeking out any shininess and blotting it out. She'd hate to see any on the wedding photos but also hated when girls had cakey makeup, so she stopped whilst she was ahead; instead, she moved on, touching up her eyebrows with a gentle gel to make them pop.

"Yeah...I mean, no...I mean...I don't know," (y/n) stammered, fiddling with the hem of her carefully chosen dress as they stared at her. That was one thing she didn't want as a bride - a roomful of people watching her every move. Even now, she was nervous, knowing they'd probably hate how she liked the simplicity of her outfit and how her old poofy dress was traded in once her mind was made up.

But under her friends' careful scrutiny, she still felt nervous--and there was nothing her tummy tingle could do about it. Understandably, they were shocked, having always thought she'd sell her left kidney to marry Ray, but apparently not. Something wasn't right, and as her bridesmaids, they'd get to the bottom of it.

"You...don't know?" Charlotte asked, fingers stilling in her hair as she tried to figure out if the woman felt too excited to concentrate or was genuinely uncomfortable. She refused to let this ship go down, not when she and Henry had steered it into smooth waters.

"No, I know, but I...feel sick," the woman replied slowly, rubbing her flip-flopping stomach as it lurched again. She was glad she only had a small breakfast...

"Ohhhh..." The girls said together, nodding and looking at each other before cooing over her cute innocence. Poor love; she wasn't overly confident most of the tie, and she couldn't stop shaking without Ray to guide her. But that was why they were there, to hold her hand and tell her to take deep breaths.

"That's just nerves. Totally normal."

"Yeah, totally. Every bride gets them," Charlotte and Piper told her, pausing their preparations to squeeze her shoulder and hand. The boys wouldn't mind a slight delay if they knew it was for something so important - ensuring the bride was sick down her front on the best day of her life.

"Ugh, I know, but...this is the last time I'll be (y/n) (y/l/n). What if I hate everything after?" (y/n) whispered, hugging her own body and sniffing, although she was silently grateful for their support. It helped a little, yet she couldn't help but panic slightly.

After today, she'd be someone else with a new name, a new home, and a new husband. It was just a lot to take in.

"Well, in that case, we'll just have to cancel the wedding. And Ray will be disappointed," Charlotte sighed, dramatically throwing her hands up like she'd given up on the whole thing. (y/n)'s mouth opened to protest, but then she sniffed, hating the idea of hurting her doofus more than diving into the unknown. Cancel the...? No...

"And heartbroken," Piper added, freaking the woman out even more. Ray trusted her with his heart - how could she be the one to break it?

She stared at her hands, wringing them together as she debated her options, but the girls knew she'd be okay once she saw her doofus looking all handsome at the altar. It was just a matter of getting her there without an unmitigated disaster.

"Very heartbroken. If you don't do this, you'll regret it forever, right? Just think, do you picture yourself growing old with him?" Charlotte asked, hands on her hips as (y/n) didn't even think about her answer.

"Yes," she replied instantly, picturing her and Ray still together in many years, wrinkled and grey but as in love as ever.

She could see it now; they'd be sitting on the porch of the pretty little house he bought her far away from the city and the heroic lives they once led. He'd hand her a warm drink, and they'd snuggle close to watch their grandchildren playing in the fields. The kind of golden love she saw in old movies.

"Do you picture a family with him?"

"Yes," she nodded furiously again, already having her heart set on a big, loud, fun-filled house since that was already her life. She was used to plenty of children, but she and Ray had their hearts set on a bundle of joy of their own--maybe two. And a dog. She really wanted a dog.

"So, do you want to spend the rest of your life as (y/n) Manchester or some sad loser who chickened out?" Charlotte asked sharply, giving her an all-knowing, dry stare like she was the parental figure. For once, (y/n) was the one who needed the advice, and the girl knew that the only thing she could tell her was that she had to marry Ray.

It's what she wanted deep down, underneath all those nerves and tucked next to the strength that made her growl.

"I'm not a loser!" The heroine argued indignantly, hands on her hands as her friends laughed. There was the fire that Ray often bragged about, making her pout grumpily and frown because she was fearless and tough, capable of taking on even the scariest of supervillains... Oh, right.

(y/n) hummed as she realised what they were trying to do, seeing that they made her brave without even realising it. It was terrifying knowing that things wouldn't be the same after today, but that made it so exciting - she didn't know what she'd get up to with Ray. And she wouldn't know if she ran away in fear...like a chicken.

"Then, don't chicken out, girl! Go get your guy!"

"You know, you're really bossy when you want to be, Charlotte..." (y/n) smiled as she fanned her eyes, lamenting running her mascara since they couldn't fix it with Piper's minimal supplies.

They giggled at that, glad to see her in better spirits now that her little wobble was over. Nerves were just part of the bridal experience, and the woman knew it was silly, something to reflect on and laugh at because she'd never leave her doofus at the altar. That would be an insult to everything her younger self always wanted.

"But she's right," Piper pointed out, returning to dust blush over her cheeks - the blushing bride. Not too much, but just enough to compliment her highlighter before she pulled out a lipstick. A little more fluffing and brushing and the girls' work was done, returning their friend to the pristine state she'd been in when she left the house--looking so damn pretty.

"True... Thanks, guys," (y/n) sniffed, reaching out to squeeze their hands as her anxieties turned to butterflies. The good kind. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head, giving Piper a small smile as the girl handed her a water bottle, hating to see her get dehydrated from all the crying she was doing.

As she took a few sips, Charlotte stepped aside to gather a bundle of flowers - a mini mountain of soft pinks and warm whites that she and Piper had personally plucked from the trees. They had to be pristine since they would braid them into the bride's hair, tying her outfit to the wedding's floral theme. She deposited the pile next to them and took the first bloom, removing any extra leaves or unsightly parts before pushing it through the first strands.

Piper held up a handful for her, allowing the girl to work faster as they chatted again, avoiding any awkward mentions of marital fears or woes. Her fingers worked quickly and deftly, moving like an expert as Piper began to help, placing smaller flowers next to bigger ones like an expert team. And they were; they'd never tell (y/n), but they'd secretly been practising the braiding for weeks, ending under a few messes, abominations, and finally, the perfect result.

The practice ensured the blossoms wouldn't fall out, looping hair around them and pinning everything while the woman waited patiently. She trusted them to do a good job, tapping her heel against the soft dirt as she imagined her doofus only a few metres away.

She knew he'd look handsome, but waiting made her antsy, squirming to get going now that she wasn't afraid. Before, she wanted to hide and stay as his fiancée, but now, it was a race to become his wife.

"Jeez, (y/n). Calm down. Trust me, Ray isn't going anywhere," Piper joked, leaving Charlotte to finalise the last and most delicate braid as she bobbed down to straighten her dress. Too many fingers would loosen the pretty design, and she wouldn't do the style again for love or money. And (y/n) would cry in defeat - they couldn't have that.

"I know. I just want to see him. We're nearly done, right?" She asked, whiny like a child on a long car ride.

"Yeah, yeah, gimme a second..." Charlotte muttered, fiddling with a final pin as the younger bridesmaid stepped back to admire the lucky woman marrying her soulmate.

She was brilliant for going with her heart and choosing that dress, even though it wasn't strictly traditional. If it suited her wants and needs, who cares what others thought when it was still stunning and detailed, from the soft neckline to the hand-stitched lace. It suited her perfectly, almost making Piper cry as she observed every element, aware that this was the first romance she'd encountered that would last a lifetime.

No one else had what Ray and (y/n) had, and the best part? She got to be a part of their story.

"You look beautiful, (y/n). Really, really beautiful," she whispered, just as Charlotte stepped away to admire their work and the woman's natural radiance. Hell, if they waited a few years, and if it wasn't so weird, they might just marry her themselves, not that they'd ever deny Ray his sweet girl.

No, they were made for each other, so Charlotte merely turned and grabbed the bouquet. It wasn't fancy, just another handful of blossoms and other wildflowers lashed together with a simple white ribbon, making the posy small but elegant - precisely what (y/n) wanted as she took a final look in Piper's compact mirror.

So, this was her wedding day - at long last - and it was nothing like what she'd imagined as a little girl. She dreamed of a big castle, flowing gown, grand tiara, and lavish ball to follow a picturesque ceremony like the fairytales she read where the prince swooped the princess off her feet. But now, the princess got herself a hero in a very different fairytale, even if it still felt as sweet.

And by her side, Piper and Charlotte, looking ever so lovely with their mini bouquets. She didn't care if they weren't in matching outfits or if her college friends would whine when they found out they weren't picked. Those girls meant everything to her, and she was grateful they would be with her on such a fateful day.

"My beautiful bridesmaids..." she whispered, pulling them into a light hug to not ruin her hair. Still, Piper and Charlotte understood their role perfectly. They wrapped their arms around her, knowing this would be the last time they saw her as a single woman, even though she'd always be their friend. No one could kill the girl code.

"You're soulmate is waiting for you..." Piper whispered, seeing the time on her dainty watch and realising they needed to get moving to stay on schedule. She hated rushing things, but (y/n) understood, fanning her leaking eyes again as she released them and stood straight. The time had come...

"Right, let's get me married."

Meanwhile, across the clearing, a similar scene with similar headaches unfolded.

There was a lot to do. Schwoz was busy gargling on some honey-lemon water, clearing his throat for the all-important ceremony he'd lead. No one wanted to ask where he'd gotten a marriage license or who gave him the authority to solemnise one, but he insisted it was legit. After an online course from MakeMeAPriest.com, he was the officiant at his cousin's sister's dog's owner's aunt's wedding, so no one complained.

After all, where would they get someone else at such short notice?

It was good enough; besides, Ray swore they had bigger problems. Jasper, the clumsiest kid on Earth, was the ring bearer. Give him strength. Or someone who actually knew what they were doing.

The kid kept tapping his pockets and panicking because he thought he'd dropped the precious gold bands, only to realise they were still perfectly snug in his jacket. They'd purchased the rings ages ago, believing the date and organisation would come straight after, only it never did...until now.

If he ruined the wedding, Ray would...

Probably do nothing. The hero was a mess. Sweat dampened his brow as Henry, his best man, brushed down his dark suit and smoothened his hair. He refused to let the guy go to his wedding looking like a tramp, but Ray tugged the shirt's neckline loose again every time he tried to straighten it.

"Stop messing with your collar, dude!" The kid groaned as he neatened the lapels for the hundredth time, fixing the stiff material so it brushed the man's neck like it was supposed to. Henry had a tie for him, but Ray refused to wear it, arguing that he wanted his top few buttons undone because (y/n) found it hot. Someone pass Henry a stiff drink...

"Stop moving! It's hard enough to do this without you wiggling your butt all over the place!"

"I can't help it!" Ray whined, wiggling his ass like he had ants in his pants. He'd been flapping like a chicken ever since (y/n) left his sight, worried about everything and nothing, from whether this was right, if it was too fast, or if it was better to postpone the wedding and wait, to whether she'd show up.

The thought terrified him. He could see it now, standing around all day in his penguin suit just to ask the kid what was taking so long. And then, Henry would give him a sad, sympathetic look as he told him (y/n) wasn't coming, leaving him truly alone. The shame, the embarrassment, the utter heartbreak...it made him pull at his collar again.

"Dude! What gives?" Henry asked indignantly, giving up when the neckline was pulled out of shape again. It made it look like Ray had had the honeymoon before the wedding with half his neck exposed - (y/n) wouldn't mind the sight.

"I said, I can't help it! L-look...what --what if she doesn't show? What if she changes her mind?" He murmured, giving his former sidekick an unsure look because this was Captain Man half a mile outside his comfort zone.

He could face bad guys and ghosts, but his wedding day scared the shit out of him, making the boys look at him like he was mad. Whilst this was his dream, he hated trapping his sweet girl or rushing her when she wasn't ready - he just wanted everything to be perfect.

"Relax, broseph," Schwoz advised him as he fiddled with his clerical collar, the Snow White band contrasting his priestly cassock. He wasn't a priest or anything, and Ray told him not to bother. Still, the genius insisted he get into the mood if he was doing the ceremony.

"Everything's fine."

The small man rolled his eyes, knowing the hero's fears were getting the best of him, something that never would've happened against The Toddler or Doctor Minyak. But this was the man's sweet girl, his one weakness, so it was understandable that he didn't want anything to go wrong. But Schwoz would drag them down the aisle if he had to, waiting too long to see those lovey-dovey idiots get hitched.

"Yeah, (y/n) would never ditch you, man. She loves you," Jasper nodded, a hand pressed to his jacket as he confirmed the ring's place again. The woman was the one who wanted the impromptu wedding, so why would she bail?

"Yeah, but..." Still, Ray wavered, chewing his bottom lip as he frantically studied the area to the last detail. Everything had to be just so, from the weather - thankfully, sunny - to his appearance, to the blossoms they had pinned to their button holes.

(y/n) was the prettiest girl in the world, so she deserved the best wedding, so what if it wasn't? What if she took one look at everything and bolted, leaving him the jilted idiot who rotted in his despair like some Dickensian novel?

But a laugh broke him out of his daydream, his eyes snapping open to see Henry throw his head back in delight--like he enjoyed the man's suffering. Well, that was just rude.

"Ray, you gotta relax!" The boy smiled, placing a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. The minute he saw (y/n), all those stupid worries would disappear because the girls were working their magic on her as they spoke. And the woman could turn up in a sack, and Ray would still be on his knees for her, so there was nothing to fear.

"What do you two always say? As long as we're together, we'll be just fine..." Henry repeated, even mimicking (y/n)'s higher-toned voice to try and get a smile.

"See? You gotta stop worrying!"

"I know, but... Ray sighed, rubbing his face with his open palm, wishing his stomach would settle down. He felt like throwing up, doubting if he could do this...

Of course, he wanted to marry his sweet girl in a heartbeat, loving the thought of spending eternity with her. It was just the husband part that scared him, wondering if he'd be good at it. If he'd look back, say he cared for her, gave her everything she wanted, and stuck by her side. He didn't want to become his father, who was neither a good husband nor a good dad.

"No buts!" Henry exclaimed, squeezing his shoulder and trying to be stern, but it melted away when he saw his genuine terror. The guy had fucked up a lot of stuff, but this was the last thing he desired to go wrong because he wanted to tell his children and grandchildren how it was the most magical day of his life, not how he said something wrong or fell flat on his face.

"Look..." the boy sighed, "do you love her?"

"Of course," Ray replied almost instantly, frowning slightly like he couldn't believe the question. He thought that bit was obvious, pouting at his former sidekick for doubting his love.

"Does she love you?"

"Well..." That was slightly trickier, leaving Ray stumped because he disliked speaking for his precious girl when she wasn't there. He hoped her answer would be yes, but he refrained, making Henry quirk his eyebrow and give him a flat look.

"Answer the question. Yes or no?" The boy asked sternly, not in the mood for messing about because they were on a deadline, and everyone already knew the answer, even Ray. As if he hadn't had her telling him her feelings every day for the last four years, sometimes in the most hideously physical ways. Henry had seen things...

"Yes!"

"So, what's the worrying for, you doofus?" Henry exclaimed, breaking out into a grin as the hero debated his argument. It was true; (y/n) loved him as much as he loved her, so surely, that would be enough to get them through the day. He looked into the kid's eyes, still seeming unsure as he mulled it over, praying that the boy knew better than he felt.

"Last time I checked, that constitutes a marriage, and people have gotten hitched with a lot less, dude. What you and (y/n) have is perfect. Just think of this as telling the world how you feel 'cause you've done the hard part. You've worked hard to get her. So enjoy it! Think of the lifetime of happiness..."

"Think of the honeymoon!" Jasper joked, laughing heartily with Schwoz as they wiggled their eyebrows suggestively. Ray glared at them, wanting to bite their heads off because that was his wife they were smuttily thinking about... Oh, wait.

Without a piece of paper to tell him otherwise, Ray thought of his sweet girl as his wife. He had done for a while now, and no one bothered to correct him anymore. She was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, his choice without thinking about the girls queuing outside his door. She was all he ever wanted, and now that his brain had cleared, he saw that she was too sweet to ever walk out on him - everything fit perfectly.

All that mattered was that they loved each other, and Ray knew that nothing would stop him from treating his wife right, not even his own fears. So, he straightened his back, held his head high, and tweaked his collar, turning to the boys.

"Thanks, guys..." he said softly, knowing he wouldn't have his sweet girl without their encouragement.

In a rare show of affection, they gathered for a bro hug, lightly clapping each other on the back and shaking hands since boys can't show that they like each other. They pulled away quickly, coughing awkwardly and praying no one saw as they fluffed the slightly smushed flowers pinned to their jackets--when Charlotte walked onto the scene.

"Hey, Char, looking good!" Henry shouted, beaming with his friends as the girl was met with cheers and whistles, clutching her small bouquet. She fought a smile, trying to be serious since this was no time for fooling around - she'd only come to get a certain someone who'd forgotten his second job.

"Shut up, you guys! Jasper! Get your butt over here!" She hissed, beckoning the clueless boy over as he frowned and opened his mouth to question her order. But then, it struck him, realisation dawning on his face that he was late for a very important date. And there was no time to say hello, so...goodbye.

"Oh, right! 'Scuse me, guys..." he said awkwardly, swiftly dashing over to the girl's side as she berated him and whacked his arm for not sneaking off like they'd planned. Honestly, it was like he was trying to give (y/n) a heart attack.

"What's going on?" Ray asked Henry, looking slightly confused and worried again, although he tried not to let it show.

The kid assured him everything was fine, mumbling some bullshit about that's how weddings worked, which wasn't very convincing. Still, it seemed to satisfy Ray, who was told to stand still and not slouch when he shoved his hands in his pockets and squirmed. He'd see his sweet girl very shortly, and Henry would surely kill him if he had to fix his stupid suit again.

Around the corner, Piper gave (y/n) a final once over as Charlotte tugged a very sheepish Jasper over. She refused to run with him, not wanting the boy to be sweaty and tardy, but the woman didn't matter, simply grateful that he was there for her on her big day.

"Oh, there you are, Jasper! How's Ray?" She asked kindly, standing there looking innocent like she wasn't in her finery, blowing the kid away at how pretty she was. Ray was one lucky guy to marry her, making the girls laugh as he stood and stared, his mouth propped open like he was trying to catch flies.

"Jasper, you okay?"

"Uh...yeah, he's good...I just... You look great, (y/n/n)!" He exclaimed, shaking his head and gathering his words as the woman's cheeks warmed, shyly looking at her shoes since she wasn't used to his compliments. Maybe her getup wasn't so bad if Jasper liked it--and he was usually so dense with these things.

"Thanks, Curly. I have to say, you look pretty handsome yourself!" She smiled, patting down his sweater and shirt combo as if it wasn't semi-casual.

Then, she grew serious, reaching out to hold his hand as the girls tidied around her because they'd done so much for her and Ray. She didn't care if none of them wore matching suits and dresses, even if Piper wore her usual swag or if the boys had sneakers. All that mattered was that they were there to share in her day, yet no one had a bigger privilege than Jasper as he looped his arm through hers.

"You ready?" He asked, patting the hand nestled in the crook of his arm as (y/n) took a deep breath. She clutched her bouquet and glanced at the girls behind her, seeing that they were ready to go, she just had to say the word, and they'd go first, forming the path she'd take to matrimony.

This was it. The big moment. All that was left to do was step out, and she'd be on her way.

"Yeah... Oh, and Jasper? Thanks for giving me away," she added, squeezing the boy's arm as he beamed proudly and stretched to his full height.

She didn't need to thank him; it was his honour, so the boy nodded gently, signalling for Charlotte and Piper to set off down the aisle. They stepped out, giving (y/n) one last chance to gulp as the eldest went first, with Piper practically skipping behind her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the bridal party," Charlotte announced, and that was Henry's cue to hit the music on his phone. They watched hundreds of wedding videos to learn the proper event order. If they were gonna do this, they'd do it right, and her booming voice allowed the boys to get themselves sorted as she led the processional.

Ray and Henry stiffened like the devil was breathing down their necks, and the hero swore he was having a heart attack. He could only see Charlotte and the brat walking towards him, surrounded by falling petals and sunbeams. Still, he wasn't interested in how pretty they looked. All he wanted was to see his sweet girl, not-so-subtly craning his neck, to look around them since he was so impatient.

And then, there she was. (y/n) held Jasper's arm as they floated down the flower-covered aisle, her eyes looking at no one but her lover. Her smile was radiant, warming his bones and chasing his fears away better than a thousand suns could, and it was only then that he realised he was speechless. Genuinely stunned. She was escorted by Jasper, of all people. But he couldn't even grimace at the boy's presence, too enraptured and utterly entranced to care.

She looked like an angel, and Ray knew she'd been sent to him by some higher being as they neared, stepping to the soft classical music at an agonisingly slow speed. But finally, she was within grasp, arriving at the altar with an overjoyed grin as she untangled her arm from Jasper's and passed her bouquet to Charlotte for safekeeping.

"Take care of her, Ray. You're the luckiest man in the world," the boy said as he carefully passed the woman's hands to her lover's, who eagerly welcomed her into his space with trembling hands and an awestruck expression. (y/n) grinned and shuffled close, squeezing the man's fingers to say hello as he forgot how to breathe.

"I know, Jasper. I will... Thanks, son," Ray said solemnly, meaning the words from the bottom of his heart as he quickly shook hands with the boy. That kid deserved all the respect in the world for accepting her offer and providing such service. The hero was grateful, not a single sarcastic comment on his tongue.

It felt surreal to look into each other's hands as they stood there, waiting for Schwoz to start with Henry and Jasper flanking Ray and Charlotte and Piper by (y/n) 's elbow. This would be the final commitment in their relationship - the last thing they'd need to do to ensure they were forever intertwined. Whilst it felt a little scary, their hands couldn't shake if they held onto each other.

They rubbed each other's knuckles and whispered hi quietly and shyly, giggling like tipsy teenagers as Schwoz dithered about forgetting his book and glasses. But the couple didn't care, forgetting about anyone and anything as they stared at the other, wondering how they'd pulled such a stunner.

"You look gorgeous, sweet girl. Absolutely beautiful..." Ray whispered, making her cheeks warm as she leaned in close, shivering when his lips brushed over her ear. They could save that for the honeymoon...

"And you've never looked more handsome, doofus," (y/n) replied, briefly letting go of his hand to drag her hand down his chest, admiring how his black jacket made the pink Sakura even brighter - his eyes too. One day she'd tell him they were her favourite shade of blue, sparkling and clear like crystalline water, but that would have to be later.

Schwoz interrupted their little moment by clearing his throat, rising above everyone for the first time ever as he hitched up his cassock and stood on a tree stump between the lovers, overlooking the intimate group and stunning scene. He held a dark, cloth-bound book in his hands, which folded over the cover very priestly as a calm and benevolent expression passed over his face - befitting such a sober ceremony.

"Friends...and Jasper. Welcome," he began, unable to stop his little joke, making his friends laugh and the boy roll his eyes. He'd let that one slide, knowing it was all in good fun and too important a day to cause an argument.

"We're gathered here today to witness the union of this doofus and this sweet girl. They met so long ago, in a cafe where (y/n) had just bludgeoned a man almost half to death. Ray being Ray, he was late to the party," the genius said, retelling the well-known story so that it didn't seem old or boring, even making Ray laugh, despite how sheepish he felt at leaving his girl alone.

"They soon became friends, although we all know it was all lies! They claimed to be best friends for thirteen agonisingly long years, making us all place bets on who would crack first. Still, eventually, they finally came together in love...and I won one hundred dollars on Ray!"

No one knew that Schwoz could be so sappy yet charming, almost making (y/n) cry in the first ten seconds, and she longed to snuggle into Ray's chest and stay there. But she refrained, rubbing her thumb over his surprisingly soft hands as he smiled and squeezed hers. Of course, they were on the same page, like always.

"That's what brings us here today. To celebrate that love and their promise to cherish it forever. And I do mean forever—soulmates, am I right?" He pretended to whisper to the kids, throwing his thumb at the couple to make them laugh and shake their heads. They couldn't have asked for a whackier officiant. Still, the genius made it perfect and personal, more special than any dull, starchy pastor.

"Ray. (y/n). The vows you're about to make will lay the foundations of your marriage, and believe me, it won't be easy--Ask my Aunt Gerhilda," he said, quickly switching from serious to lighthearted so the ceremony didn't seem as daunting. Yet the couple knew they had to listen as well as laugh.

"You have to work as a team, bear each other's burdens, stick together when things get tough, and no matter what...love each other as this next chapter begins."

They nodded, still holding each other for dear life, as they knew their relationship wouldn't always be easy. They had fights and disasters, from confusion to near break-ups, but they always made it out okay. Without even needing a clergyman to tell them, they silently promised to stick to those expectations, saying nothing but looking into each other's eyes and understanding everything. Their hearts beat as one, ready to build a home, family, and life together.

"Now, the vows... Ray, (y/n) told me you had discussed saying your own words. Are you still happy with that?" The genius asked, quietly tapping his book since he had some pre-written promises that the hero could say and no one would mind. Everything was sudden, and unlike (y/n), he'd not had a chance to think of anything. Or so everyone thought.

"No...no. I know exactly what I want to say," the hero replied boldly, not wanting some icky, impersonal vows made by somebody else. Had no one else planned their words all their life, waiting for the best moment of their lives?

His sweet girl deserved the best and his own feelings, so he took a minute to clear his head, knowing that he didn't need to be eloquent or Swellview's very own Shakespeare. This was his soulmate, and she'd listen to anything he had, so after a couple of minutes, he breathed deeply and opened his mouth.

"(y/n) (y/l/n)..." he started, looking down at his girl with the softest eyes with bated breath. She didn't need much, just wanting him to mean every word. And Ray honestly did.

"I can't tell you how long I've spent trying to think of what to say to you and believe me, darlin', I've spent the last thirteen years trying to find the words," the man laughed, never having been speechless until he met her, but she made him into a fool. A blabbering, stupid fool with no game because she made him nervous - the first girl ever to do so.

"I never thought this day would come. You know the man I was when we first met. I was so stupid, and blind, and heartless—I didn't care about the people I screwed over...but then, you came along," he murmured, reaching up to cup her cheek as her eyes watered, touched by his buttery voice and even softer touch.

"For the first time in my life, I didn't want to break your heart. When I saw you outside that coffee shop...I couldn't describe you, but now I can. Enchanting," he whispered, loving how her lips parted in a small gasp.

No one had ever been so whimsically romantic with her. It was the type of thing she'd see in her beloved rom-coms or a period film, but that was the vibe Ray was going for. She deserved the cheesiness and utter devotion because she oozed it as the world's sweetest, loyalist, most unassuming girl he'd ever met. And it was true - he had been under her spell since the minute they met, and he didn't ever want to wake up, not if magic caused this much happiness.

"You enchant me, sweet girl. From the moment we met 'til death do us part. And even then, I want you forever."

(y/n) sniffed, finally letting the dam break as tears streamed down her face, only to be brushed away by his tender touch. Ray hated seeing his pretty girl cry, but luckily, they were good tears. Utterly in love tears as he kept whispering sweet everythings to her.

"You waited for so long. You stood by me through disasters and my mistakes and every girl I tried to use to let you go," Ray croaked, knowing he'd made many mistakes. Still, he did something right the day he let his old self go and accepted her love to become a better man.

"But I can't... I want you to be my wife, sweet girl, so I won't call these vows. For me, these are privileges..." he said firmly, tilting her chin so his gaze bore into hers as he said loudly and clearly...

"It will be my privilege to call you mine. It will be my privilege to wake up and see you smile every day. It will be my privilege to support and care for you. It will be my privilege to honour and cherish you. I don't have to—I get to. It will be my privilege to live my life with you," he promised, also near tears as he sealed his words by kissing her hands at the end. He meant every word, knowing that he gained her trust and devotion by some miracle or someone's mercy and was still searching to find out what he'd done to deserve it.

"I don't know why, but someone, somewhere, looked down on me one day and said, Ray Manchester, that idiot... He needs a guardian angel. And they sent (y/n) (y/l/n)."

There wasn't a dry tear in the clearing as Ray finished, pecking (y/n) on the cheek as she bawled, needing a tissue from Charlotte. He always said he wasn't good with feelings and mushy shit, but he knew exactly what to say when he put his mind to it and was honest. The heroine didn't know what she'd done to deserve such love, now feeling like her vows wouldn't be as touching, despite having longer to prepare them.

She dabbed at her eyes, careful not to smudge her pretty makeup as Ray smiled and kissed her forehead, longing to taste her lips, although Schwoz would snap at him. He didn't mean to be so poetic. Still, he was kinda proud of himself, satisfied when he watched the girls pass out the tissues to a sniffing Jasper and 'itchy-eyed' Henry.

"(y/n)..." Schwoz coughed, clearing the emotion in his throat after the beautiful speech, "If you'd like to make your vows."

Now, it was her turn, and (y/n) swore she'd never match up to Ray, not after he reduced everyone to tears. But he believes in her, squeezing her hands and encouraging her words because everything was already his dream--his privilege. She couldn't say something wrong even if she tried.

"Okay... Here goes," she gulped, ignoring her nerves and trying to remember the key notes and points she'd scribbled down whilst he was in the shower.

"Ray...my doofus," she began, already feeling a massive lump grow in her throat as the emotion welled inside her. She felt like such a crybaby, but Ray made her feel so emotional, egging her on to keep speaking even as her eyes watered again.

"We've had our ups and downs, and it hasn't been easy," she smiled and stroked his hands before glancing at the children around them, "Today has been a long time coming, and I know the kids we helped raise have been banging their heads, waiting for us to finally commit to forever."

That earned her a few giggles, the kids nodding knowingly at each other because it had sometimes felt like that--and they agreed that they found their second home in the Man Cave. Things stood still like the wedding would never arrive, yet there they were, minutes from making it official.

"We're not the same people we were when we first met, and for so many years, I thought we wouldn't work. But we do," she admitted, releasing all the negativity she used to carry, swearing that her doofus would be better off with someone prettier or braver.

"I've never felt safer, or stronger, or more loved with anyone else than I have with you. You make me feel brave, like I fit somewhere in the world, and now I know my place is by your side," (y/n) whispered shyly, squirming since she'd always had that insecure streak like she was always a little too quiet or kooky to truly be accepted anywhere, but things were different with Ray.

He didn't want her to change, so she wanted the same for him, pledging all the things his former lovers disliked and trying to remould like he wasn't already perfect.

"So, I promise to love you no matter what. I promise never to change you because I love how you help me out of my boring shell. I promise to make you watch all those rom-coms you hate because I just want to be with you. I promise to do any and all math work in front of you because I know you love it. I promise to love every single shirt you wear because... you're so perfect, Raymond."

Her hand reached up to cup his cheek, falling into his loving stare, breathless and lightheaded. His cheeks were wet from happy tears, thinking he couldn't be that good, but she was so sincere, and who was he to question his sweet girl?

"I never thought this was how my life would be when I shouted at you outside that cafe on South Street. But I'm so glad it is. You've given me a home, a family, and enough love to last a lifetime," she beamed, edging closer since she needed his warmth and proximity but also because her nerves were forgotten, replaced with pure excitement for all the plans they'd made--and any surprises along the way.

"Here's to forever, doofus. And whatever comes after that," she finished, kissing his cheek, loving as Ray sniffed and rubbed his eyes to the loudness of Piper blowing her nose.

God, those two would be her death--like one hundred Christmas-themed rom-coms put together, but that's what they were like. It was a classic Sweet Girl and her Doofus, making them shuffle closer until their navels and toes touched, noses brushing together nearly. And, of course, they played footsie for a moment, tapping each other's toes, despite being at the alter. That's just what they were like.

Once everyone had calmed themselves, it was time for the rings, causing Jasper's palms to grow sweaty because he only had two jobs, but this was the most important one. He patted his pockets again, sighing in relief as he felt two little circles poking into his palm--thank God.

"That was...beautiful," Schwoz said to the couple poignantly before turning the nervous boy, "Jasper, the rings, if you please."

He carefully pulled out the delicate warm bands, mindful not to drop them on the busy and dirty mountain floor; instead, he slid them into Schwoz's palm, breathing a sigh of relief that the responsibility was no longer in his hands. He'd lived to see another day, knowing Ray would've killed him if they were lost, so pretty and precious as Schwoz held them out for the couple to see.

Once they were on, they'd never take them off, already jumping for joy at the gorgeous thought of flaunting their pretty rings to everyone. They'd belong to each other, and everyone would know.

"Ray, please take (y/n) 's ring and place it on her finger," the genius said softly. Ray did as he was told, carefully plucking the dainty ring from his palm with shaking fingers and hovering it near her outstretched hand.

He desperately didn't want to screw up, terrified of putting it in the wrong place, but (y/n) wouldn't let him panic. She wiggled her ring finger and winked at him, making her doofus laugh as he breathed a sigh of relief and slid the ring down past each knuckle - a perfect fit over her engagement ring.

"Repeat after Schwozie..." the small man said, smiling gently as the couple giddily stared at how Ray held the ring on her hand, ensuring it wouldn't come off, not that she ever wanted it to.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am, I will love and honour you," Ray murmured, echoing what Schwoz whispered in his ear as he gazed at his sweet girl and stroked the ring. He'd never seen a more perfect sight.

"(y/n), please take Ray's ring and place it on his finger," Schwoz told the woman, a massive grin on her face as she took their thicker band and copied his movements, sliding it down. She's in love with him and the ring, thinking the married look suits him, making him look hotter, and Ray couldn't agree more. It felt right, the metal quickly warming on his skin until he barely noticed it was there, like a second skin. A perfect fit.

"Repeat after Schwozie..."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am, I will love and honour you," she repeated, wriggling her toes excitedly because it was nearly over. Everyone waited with bated breath as Jasper stepped back, no longer needed now his ring-bearing duties were over. The vows had been made, and every symbol in the book bound them to each other, leaving Schwoz with one final task before the long, miserable wait was over.

"Finally, I must ask..." he added, drawing a few silent but bored sighs since everyone just wanted to celebrate - none more than Ray and (y/n), who were dying to satisfy their aching needs to feel each other's lips again.

"Ray Manchester, do you take (y/n) (y/l/n) to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do..." Ray nodded, thinking nothing had ever been more evident as he grinned down at his sweet girl, practically buzzing with anticipation. He could feel it coming...

"(y/n) (y/l/n), do you take Ray Manchester to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do!" (y/n) replied, spitting out the words with too much excitement to be deemed sane. But she'd thrown grace and style out the window, drifting closer to her doofus and losing focus on everyone because, surely, that was it. It was official, but not until Schwoz said, yet he couldn't keep them in suspense any longer.

He snapped his book closed, showing it wasn't anything sacred. It was just an old cookbook he'd borrowed from the Swellview Library and never returned, not that anyone noticed. Huge grins grew on their faces as he threw his head back, declaring to the sky the words that Ray and (y/n) had waited a lifetime to hear.

"Then, by the power invested in Schwoz...from work...I now pronounce you man and wooman! You may kiss the bride!"

They didn't need to be told twice. (y/n) jumped into her doofus' arms at lightning speed, smashing her lips against his like she needed it to live. Her husband--the word alone could make her squeal--instantly swept her off her feet, spinning around as they shared the sweetest kiss of their lives. Their lips moved in perfect synch to the sound of rapturous applause coming from their friends, not that they could hear.

It was official; Ray had finally done what he never thought possible. He made (y/n) his wife, making all her dreams come true, as they didn't stop, lost in the kiss even as their lungs burned and the kids...well, they didn't have it in them to make yucky noises. They were so damn happy and proud, feeling a shift in the universe now that their souls had become one.

They split eventually, the battle for air winning over their need to consume each other. Ray and (y/n) gently pulled away to smile at each other, resting their foreheads together as they stayed in the embrace - married and complete. Thy'd never shake the immense joy they felt at that word - married - the hero cupping his sweet girl's face to peck her lips a few more times.

"You're my wife... Oh, sweet girl... you're my wife," Ray breathed, thinking it was so much better than girlfriend or fiancée could ever be. She giggled at him, delighted when he called her that because it was so goddamn dreamy. Just like him.

"And you're my husband, doofus," she added, pinching his chin as he smiled, looking ten years younger like she'd unburdened him. He cupped her face, staring down at her like she was the most precious thing in the world as he whispered..."

"I love you...so much."

"I love you, doof. More than anything," (y/n) replied, pulling him down for another shorter but no less sweet kiss. Ray hummed, eagerly drinking down her taste like a parched man, grunting in disappointment when his precious wife pulled away too quickly for his liking.

She told him to save it for later before turning to their friends with a radiant smile. Charlotte and Piper threw blossom petals in the air, cheering and clapping with Jasper as Henry rubbed his face. He couldn't be prouder, applauding the happy couple louder than anyone, even as he tried to mask his tears.

"Hey, Hen... Your liquid pride is showing," the heroine teased him, grinning but certainly touched as the boy brushed the droplets away. Nothing could ruin her mood as Ray nuzzled her cheek and temple, not wanting to leave his bride alone for a minute - there'd never been a man more in love.

"Who cares, man? I'm happy for you. Congrats," the boy sniffed, accepting his emotions since it was a wedding - and at least he wasn't the most embarrassing crier there as he shook hands with his former boss and kissed his friend's cheeks. Schwoz was a mess, mascara streaking down his face from his pantomime getup as he wailed and dabbed his panda eyes with a handkerchief like a movie star.

"I always cry at weddings!" He exclaimed, fanning his wet cheeks as Ray pulled his sweet girl into another kiss - he couldn't get enough.

"To the happy couple!" Piper exclaimed, not having anything to toast, but seeing them canoodling made it feel like it was the right moment, especially when they smiled into their kiss. Strangely, it didn't feel embarrassing to have everyone's eyes on them, but that was probably because they never cared, always laying it on heavy no matter who was watching.

"May they always remain lovey-dovey lovebirds!" Charlotte added, making everyone laugh as the couple prolonged their kiss like it was another vow, never wanting to break it. They'd always be so disgusting that the kids couldn't help but pull faces and mock them.

"Hey, guys..." Jasper suddenly spoke, looking all innocent with his floppy hair and his cute sweater. Still, something in his eye made (y/n) suspect that he had an ulterior motive--especially when he plainly nudged Piper and winked at Henry. He wasn't exactly James Bond.

"I know this isn't a traditional wedding but doesn't the best man normally give a speech?"

"Uh, yeah, traditionally--but don't worry, Henry. You don't have to make one," (y/n) nodded before quickly giving the tall teen a reassuring smile. Public speeches were nerve-wracking and scary, and she was sure that doing one in front of his entire found family would make the boy's palm sweaty. But Henry just shrugged and looked calm, clearing his throat as he pulled a scrap of paper from his blazer pocket.

The kids hadn't told anyone except for Schwoz, but they'd colluded, too, having egged the boy on as he scribbled down a quick speech just for them, just this once.

"Nah, nah, nah--it's cool--it's cool. If this kid can handle danger, he can handle a speech. No problem," he boasted, rolling his shoulders as his friends smiled, Ray and (y/n) huddling close and focusing on the boy. Their left hands were intertwined, rings brushing against each other because they couldn't get over the feeling of wearing them - it was the life calling they never knew they needed.

"Ray...(y/n)..." Henry began, clearing his scratchy throat again as he tried to set the proper tone, glancing at his notes like he didn't have the words memorised. He wasn't good at this sort of thing, but he thrived under pressure, hoping to impress the couple, who didn't expect anything mind-blowing. Charlotte and Piper had helped him, making everything flowery and poetic since he hated all that mushy stuff--but he meant it.

"I won't lie. You're two of the dumbest people I've ever met—"It was an excellent way to start, making Charlotte roll her eyes as Ray growled. His wife wasn't dumb, but Henry raised his hand as a sign to wait. He just needed to let him speak...

"From the second I stepped into the Man Cave, I knew you guys were made for each other," Henry grinned, recalling how even his thirteen-year-old idiot self saw the chemistry between them--more than they ever did.

"The annoying thing, though, was that you didn't see it yourselves. I can't tell you how many days and nights me, and Charlotte spent smacking our heads at how oblivious you were. We're just friends, was all you ever used to say."

That earned a few laughs and a vigorous and emphatic nod from Charlotte, who could say there were times when she wanted to tear her hair out. Knowing they were in love and too afraid to say anything, but being sworn to secrecy themselves, was almost intolerable until the truth came out.

"And then, even when Jasper came, you refused to admit it. Ray, you follow her around like a lovesick puppy. (Y/n), you think he's a God amongst men," he said, making the couple blush and giggle, looking at each other, knowing it was true.

"You've made me proud three times in all the time I've known. When you finally put us out of our misery and became boyfriend and girlfriend. When Ray stopped being a chicken and proposed.... And today," Henry said proudly, having not glanced at his notes since he began the speech. He knew everything he wanted to say--what they needed to hear.

"Seeing you both here makes me prouder than anything, and I can honestly say its suits you."

"You've always been an old married couple, and I can promise we'll always be sick when we see you kiss," he grinned, jokingly screwing his face up when Ray pecked (y/n) 's forehead. They were used to that, unoffended and secretly adoring how the kids fake-vomited at their affection. It was cute, and they loved winding them up.

"The Man Cave may be gone, but that doesn't mean it ends here for you. You're lucky. You get to make new memories wherever you go—only you'll be husband and wife this time. That's why we—and by that, I mean all of us—want to give you this."

The kid paused, turning to look at Piper, who'd sneakily stepped away while everyone had been distracted by his touching words and charisma. She grabbed the most precious gift; a handmade scrapbook that had (y/n) gasping and Ray smiling when they saw it. It wasn't perfect, with runny glue smudged in places, messy glitter, and wonky letters spelling 'Ray + (y/n), a love story', but it was made with love. And had thankfully been stored at Charlotte's house, so it wasn't blown up.

"This is our wedding gift to you. It's not much, but we thought you'd like to look at your old memories while making all these new ones. To remember how far you've come," Henry explained, watching and feeling slightly nervous as (y/n) took the book and flipped through the thick pages.

He didn't want her or Ray to hate it, but judging by the enormous grin on her face as she saw the first page - an image of the lovers looking very young in the first Man Cave - he didn't need to worry. It was beautiful, each page bound to the spine with metallic twine and decorated with stickers, glitter and little things to make them smile.

As they flicked through the scrapbook, they realised it was also a photo album, hiding dozens of photos of them together, from anniversary snaps to in-the-moment candids where no one was paying attention. They never understood how lovestruck they were when staring at each other until the camera showed it perfectly in a picture from when Ray gave (y/n) her Hawaiian sunset. There was also their first Christmas kiss, every Kissaversary after that, (y/n)'s birthday, the time they were substitute teachers, their engagement, and that time they took photos for the Swellview calendar.

There were so many, some of them, some of the kids, and all with little notes scribbled next to them in various handwriting styles - jokes, comments, or silly drawings. The couple fawned over the book, laughing and pointing as they remembered every event like yesterday, flicking until nothing was left to see.

Huh, that was strange. Suddenly, the book stopped without photos, glitter, or paint, leaving many empty sheets with nothing but a sticky note on the blank canvas. It had a message written in Charlotte's neat cursive, saying that the last pages were for them - it was time to make more memories, whatever they would be.

"Thank you. It's perfect," (y/n) whispered, hugging the book to her chest so it would stay safe, knowing it would become one of her most treasured possessions. She didn't care if it smudged glitter on her dress; her tears returned, making her sniff, and Ray wrapped an arm around her, kissing her temple as he patted Henry on the shoulder.

"Thanks, kid," he told him as Henry grinned, grateful that he'd chosen such a kind and thoughtful boy as his sidekick and his best man to stand by him on the most important day of his life--as his brother.

The kid stepped back, wiping the stray sparkle from his fingers as he assumed the wedding was over. What else was there to do? He and his friends had a helicopter ride to catch since his sidekick career was over, but as he looked at Ray, who swore he seemed...nervous. Suspicious. Like he had something to confess.

"Thank you for this, sweet girl. You really surprised me," the hero said as he held his wife's hand, feeling his heart in his mouth since he did have something to share. Although he didn't think it would've fitted so well with her plans.

"I think it's the only rash thing I've ever done, but Mrs Manchester sounds good, right?" (y/n) asked happily, the new name sounding clumsily and foreign on her tongue, but she liked it. (y/n) Manchester... She could hear that for the rest of her life and be satisfied--and luckily, she would, thanks to the gorgeous man holding her hips.

"It sounds perfect, but actually..." Ray started looking overjoyed as he heard his name next to hers, swearing he was the luckiest man on Earth. But he looked a little scared, too, releasing her body to take both hands in his like he had something meaningful to say, making (y/n) nervous. She wondered why he needed her full attention, playing it up like it was something big, but she didn't worry too much. How could she when her husband looked so soft?

The man reached into his inner breast pocket as his face stretched into a grin he couldn't shake. It made him look like a genius, even though he was just fortunate - in every aspect of his life.

"I have a surprise of my own, darlin'," he revealed, pulling two plane tickets from his jacket that had her eyebrows furrowing until she saw the clear print written on the front. Swellview Airport to Hawaii, two passengers, making her eyes snap to his, filled with tears and wonder because it couldn't be genuine... It felt like a dream, thoughtful and fateful like he'd known what she'd been planning.

"Doofus, what..."

"I didn't know you'd planned this, sweet girl. I booked the tickets days ago, wanting to take you to your paradise after everything we went through. My girl deserves to see a Hawaiian sunset before anything can stop her, but now... This just feels--"

"Perfect," (y/n) answered for him, staring at the tickets as her brain processed what he meant. Flying to Hawaii had been her dream since she was little, hoping she'd get to walk the beach with someone special. But there'd never been anyone good enough, the time, the money, or the occasion. Until now--now, she had everything, including the man of her dreams, to accompany her there.

"Oh, doofus--thank you, thank you, thank you!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around Ray's neck as he laughed. What had originally been planned as a luxury, once-in-a-lifetime holiday was now their honeymoon. And he was really fucking glad he'd booked the fancy villa in a three-week trip to the island paradise.

"Our flight leaves in a few hours. Just enough time to pack our bags, but... We'll have to say our goodbyes here," the hero said reluctantly, looking at the kids with soft, sad eyes. The abrupt plans meant their final few moments would be rushed and brief. He assumed she'd want to spend every second she could with them, blowing off the vacation for her babies.

But then, (y/n) surprised him, sniffing as the moment's meaning dawned on her, yet she smiled and nodded nevertheless. Like everything, letting go was scary, but she could accept it.

"That's okay. I'm ready..." (y/n) said quietly, knowing she wouldn't pass up a chance to experience bliss with her doofus nor deny the teens the opportunity to experience the world for themselves. So, she turned to them with her pretty smile and cheery disposition, making them sad because it was time to say goodbye to their favourite person as Ray and Schwoz stayed back. This was their moment - they had a special bond with their (y/n/n).

"So... After all this time, everything's finally over," Henry sighed, giving the woman a melancholy yet nostalgic smile. He couldn't believe it; his childhood had disappeared in a flash, and now he was grown, terrified but eager to see what life was all about. He just wished he didn't have to leave those he loved behind.

"Yeah, but we're coming back, right?" Jasper asked, frowning at the thought of this being the end, finito, game over, never to see each other again. If that was the case, he didn't want to leave... Silly, dear boy.

"Yeah, totally," Charlotte reassured him, knowing they'd never survive if they didn't have a home to return to. Maybe not often since the lovebirds would be having their own kids soon, growing their family and being too busy to look after them, but there were always the holidays. And there was nowhere better to be than with their found family on special occasions, especially when Mrs Manchester cooked.

"(y/n/n), I want oatmeal raisin cookies for every Thanksgiving."

"Ooh! And those brownies with the little chocolate chunks in them!" Piper exclaimed, having fallen in love with the woman's baking after a few months in the Man Cave. Her skills were out of this world, and no one could ever replace them--or the sweet girl. She was pretty special...and snuggly...and safe.

"And pie!"

"Lots of pie!" Henry and Jasper exclaimed, making (y/n) laugh, throwing her head back in the prettiest way to leave Ray whipped for her.

She made them one pie once, and they never shut up about it - the crisp pastry, the sweet, delicious filling... They ate the lot themselves, arguing it went to a better place when the boss scolded them for eating what should've been his as head taste tester. But it was fine--(y/n) would make all the pie her boys wanted and more.

"I'll make everything, and there'll always be a place for you. Always. Any time you want. You come, and I'll feed you," the heroine giggled, giving them those soft eyes that held so much motherly love even as she let herself cry. She couldn't stop even if she tried. She was too emotional, especially when Piper jumped into her arms and hugged her waist tightly.

She buried her face into her chest, hating anyone who saw her cry, so she hid her cheeks as best she could. But (y/n) couldn't go on her honeymoon without knowing how she felt, just like Piper couldn't go to college without telling her of her unending gratitude--for everything.

"I'm gonna miss you, (y/n/n). So much..."

"I'll miss you too, Piper... And if anyone at Florida State messes with you, they'll have me to deal with," the woman warned jokingly as she squished them together. Although part of her was very serious about beating up anyone who caused her trouble, thinking they'd receive a little visit from Miss Danger if they teased her meanly.

"You're always so good at that," the girl commented, her voice muffled and monotone since it was whispered into the delicate lace of her friend's dress. But (y/n) heard her, not that she understood any of it--all she did was swear to rip any bullies apart for hurting one of her babies.

"At what?"

"Making me feel like I have a friend," Piper murmured, sounding small and shy as she shrank into herself - so very different from the confident girl her clothes and attitude suggested.

It almost broke (y/n) 's heart, knowing that under her tough exterior, Piper had it rough being the sassy, popular in the best clique in school. She loved the fame, but she never made any real friends, just bitches who stabbed her in the back just to look better or gain a boy's attention. Having no friends was awful, and the heroine hated that one of her closest friends felt like that...until she came along.

"Oh, Piper..."

"No, it's true. You never hated me for being mean, annoying, or rude. You've always been there for me... Thank you for that," the girl said honestly, looking into the woman's teary eyes before she pulled her into another tight hug.

Their friendship had been brief, but it meant the world to Piper, knowing that someone, somewhere, finally accepted her without expecting something in return. (y/n) would never, and that's why she poured every ounce of feeling she could into the hug before they let go, pulling away with moist eyes. The girl had to fan herself to ensure she didn't cry, not wanting to look like a panda before college, making (y/n) smile. Florida State wouldn't know what hit them when Piper Hart landed, going on to make something of her life and be more than the brat everyone wrote her off as.

Next was Charlotte, who stepped up and quickly went in for an angled hug, slotting against the woman, who didn't care if it was a little clinical or stiff. She knew that Charlotte's affection lay elsewhere. However, they still laughed like old friends, light and airy since they never needed to be authoritarians or pretenders. They were very similar people, so they got on so well.

"I'll call you when we get there, (y/n). And don't worry, I'll keep those idiots out of trouble," the teen reassured her, aware that it would be in the middle of the night when everyone landed in their respective destinations, but being the worrier she was, (y/n) liked to know everyone was safe. And with Charlotte on their side, Henry and Jasper had nothing to worry about.

"You're gonna have your hands full, but I know you'll be okay. You're the smartest kid I've ever met, Char. You're really gonna be someone someday," the bride whispered, meaning it with all of her heart as she saw headlines bearing Charlotte Page's name for all the good she would do.

"Everything I know, I learned from you. Thank you for that," she replied, not even to be modest--it was true.

Whilst she excelled at school, Charlotte learned more from (y/n) than any book, making her the perfect teacher and friend a person could wish for. And when she stepped up to collect all the awards the woman swore she would win, the first name on her lips would be (y/n) Manchester, thanking her for turning a tedious after-school job into the time of her life.

It was unusually sentimental for her, so they hugged again before anyone could see her tears--which would be highly embarrassing. But (y/n) cries for her, giving the same tight squeeze she did with Piper before letting go. It was always short and sweet with Charlotte; no need to overcomplicate things when she said everything perfectly.

So, the woman moved on to the next kid, who could barely contain himself as he bounced and waited for his goodbye.

"Come on, Curly. I know you want to," she giggled, holding out her arms for the boy to jump into - it was kinda flattering to see him so excited for one of her hugs, making the moment even more special.

Jasper loved her hugs, wrapping his long arms around her like a bear and pulling her into his chest since he was so tall. He never used to be, and secretly, he'd always had a particular soft spot in (y/n) 's heart. It wasn't favouritism, but she knew how rough he had it home, so whenever she saw him, she gave him an extra sprinkling of love, which hadn't gone unnoticed.

"I've always liked it when you call me that," he confessed, smiling at her cute nickname. It made him feel unique and loved, given that none of his friends ever got one.

"I miss the curls. They're distinctly you," (y/n) smiled, reaching up to pay his straight, fluffy locks. Sure, he'd artificially curled his hair with rollers every night to maintain his old bouffant. Still, no matter how many people teased him, she liked it, thinking that even though he had that awkward phase, it didn't make him unloveable.

"You don't think I'm weird?" He asked self-consciously, remembering his outbursts, slip-ups, bodily sweatiness, and poor decisions; the worst being his insufferable obsessions with buckets. But (y/n) thought differently, wanting her Curly to stay who he was, saying the words no one had ever told him.

"Don't let anyone change you, Jasper. I think you're wonderful, just the way you are."

"(y/n)..." Jasper sniffed, needing to swallow the lump in his throat before he continued because she made him cry. It touched his heart more than ever before because all he'd ever been told was to fit in, stop acting weird, and be normal if he wanted people to like him.

Then, he found the Man Cave, and even though Ray grumbled every time he messed up, it felt like home. And God knows he'd never had one of those before, not a proper home filled with love and people who wanted him there. That made (y/n) the kindest, sweetest, most generous woman he had ever met - for taking him in and giving him a place to stay when he had nowhere else to go.

"Thanks for being the mom I never had."

It was (y/n) 's turn to hide, pressing her face into his chest as she bawled and wrapped her arms around the boy so tightly that it felt like suffocation. She didn't mean to; it was involuntary since he needed a little extra comfort, and she was more than happy to give it, knowing she'd miss how he never failed to make her laugh when he was in Dystopia. Still, a few regular phone calls would placate her.

Finally, it was Henry's turn, who just stood there, looking relaxed and casual, as he waited for her to release Jasper.

When they were done, he opened his arms, allowing her to silently shuffle close until they were wrapped in a tender embrace. They uniquely relied on each other, bound by her mentorship and their bond as sidekicks. They fought and almost died together more times than they cared to remember, meaning their hug wasn't rough or tight - it was warm and safe, saying, it's okay, we're alive, for the last time.

"I don't know what to say, (y/n/n)," Henry admits, having waited until he was last because the others knew what they wanted to say. But he didn't. How do you thank someone who changed your life as much as she did with him? How do you repay that much kindness?

"You don't have to say anything, Henry. I know," (y/n) soothed him, enjoying the hug without hearing about his gratitude. She didn't think she did much, turning up for work daily to help where she could. If the kid felt half of her adoration for him, it would be good enough for her - an honour to know that she'd had a role in a little boy's life and made it better, even if it was just for a few years.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I feel it, too," she smiled. Grand gestures were lovely, but so was this, making the most of the moment before they had to go, and she already knew about those complicated feelings. They made her heart hurt at the thought of saying goodbye to a friend, but they also gave her the strength to let go--and inspired Henry to dig deep.

He had to say something, finding the words on the tip of his tongue when he thought hard. It was brief and stupid in his mind, but he said it anyway, knowing (y/n) would never laugh at him.

"That first day in the Man Cave, I didn't just find a stupid after-school job. I found my second sister. I love you, (y/n). Thank you for being there...for being you."

"I love you, too..." she whispered, snuggling into the lanky boy's arms as she let the words sink in. He wasn't hers, and nothing stopped him from going off and forgetting all about her and his Man Cave life, but something told her he wouldn't. Because, at the same time, he was hers--her Henry, the kid who made her a mentor, friend, superhero, wife, and mom all at once. She'd never forget him.

"I love all of you," she added, turning to Piper, Charlotte, and Jasper as they smiled back, uncaring about their tears since it was the common theme that day.

"We love you, (y/n/n)," they all muttered, teetering on the edge of rushing toward her because the helicopter was calling them.

Time was running out, and they had deadlines to meet, all of which were much more important than hugging some plain, unremarkable woman who outwardly wasn't anything special. Just your average, run-of-the-mill lady, who no one ever blinked twice at. If only the world knew how sweet she was...

"Last hug..." But (y/n) invited them anyway, gathering them in a group hug with a warm grin and an even warmer embrace. She couldn't bear to watch them go without squeezing them one final time, hating the thought of not leaving them enough love to keep them going. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Schwoz wandering to the Man-Copter and realised that she'd have to let go soon, so they made the most of it.

"My babies... I'm so proud of all of you," she whispered, pulling away to dry her tears. If she didn't let go now, she never would, so she reluctantly ushered the girls toward the helicopter and patted the boys' shoulders. God, she would miss them.

"Now, go on, off you go...before I change my mind!" It was a small joke, making the kids laugh sadly as they faced what would take them to their new adventures. They were scared for different reasons, some knowing their destination would be dangerous, others knowing they'd be alone. But that was okay because when they looked back, (y/n) waved them off as Ray hugged her from behind.

It didn't seem as scary with someone to fall back on - a friend to talk to in lonely moments or a hero to call when things got lairy.

"Make sure you see them right into their apartments, Schwoz. They smell fear in those places," (y/n) told the genius as she watched the kids clamber into the helicopter and nervously rubbed her hands together, now having a second ring to fiddle with. Schwoz wasn't sure if she was talking about Dystopia or a college campus. Still, he had to nod and agree, sensing a grilling coming his way if he didn't ensure they were safe.

Luckily, she had her doofus behind her, his warm front against her back as he kissed her cheek and hummed. They would be okay.

"Okay! And don't worry. I'll keep everything safe here while you doing the smoochy-smoochy in Haweee—-"

"Hawaii, Schwoz. It's pronounced Hawaii," Ray said through gritted teeth, wondering why he hired a man so bad at pronunciations. He irritated him, but the hero didn't squash him, secretly wanting someone to check on the kids when they couldn't. He couldn't imagine life without them, but he had his sweet girl--and plenty of ideas on what they could do with so much quiet time.

"Just go!" Schwoz told them, waving his hand over his shoulder as he trotted to the Man-Copter.

Inside, Jasper and Piper were complaining about having to sit near each other, possibly swapping cooties and other germs as the genius shut the door and prepared to take off. It would be a long flight, but he had a minute's respite as the kids settled down to wave to the couple outside. The blades whirred to life, creating violent, whipping winds around Ray and (y/n) as they stood fast and shouted their final goodbyes.

Well, not goodbyes, more like see-you-laters.

The aircraft lifted off, making (y/n) bite her lip to stop herself from crying again. There they went, flying higher and higher until they were soaring over the city as a mere speck on the skyline. Her babies were off to see the world, and the most they'd get was a postcard, perhaps the occasional visit.

Finally, they were alone, husband and wife, watching the chopper until they couldn't follow the black dot. Then, a strange feeling came over them. When was the last time they were alone? Three weeks was a long time in their hectic lives, sending a tingle down (y/n)'s spine as she debated married life. It wasn't so bad so far, not when Ray dipped his head to kiss up her neck like he'd been dying to do.

"So, Mr Manchester... About this honeymoon," she said coyly, feeling like they'd need to get there sooner rather than later, given how much his hands wandered with no one looking. But she was just as bad, holding his head in place as she craned her neck to give him more room, smiling when she saw her golden wedding ring poking through the chocolate locks.

Ray smirked against her skin, nipping wherever he liked because she was his wife, his sweet girl, and she was entirely his for the next three weeks. He'd seen enough of that dress to know he wanted it on the floor, preferably in their hotel room, where no one would disturb them.

"Well, Mrs Manchester, you'll just have to wait and see..."

1 note · View note