# GOD I HOPE THIS SHIT MAKES SENSE BC I'M NOT LOOKING AT IT ANY LONGER SDGYUSDGF

[poetrysmackdown]

some informal thoughts

hello! hope the holiday season has been kind to all of you. and i hope all my jewish followers had a lovely hanukkah! anyways, since i said a few months ago that i’d pick poetry smackdown back up sometime around this time of year, i thought i should make a post. the gist of it is that i’m still quite busy, i have a break that’s about three weeks shorter than I was planning on, and i don’t currently have the mental bandwidth required to read, contemplate, and sort through poem submissions in a way that does justice to them, even if i were to recruit some friends to help out. since running a tournament format requires at least five weeks of continued engagement once it’s underway, and since i’m not at capacity to offer that right now due to the change in my schedule, i’m gonna have to bow out for now. sad bc i was looking forward to it!

my hope is that i’ll have some more time over the summer to hunker down with it, in which case you’ll be hearing from me. it’ll frankly depend on the kind of job i land in for the summer, but i find that my unemployed spirit can typically keep me doing stupid shit regardless of workload...to a point. i don’t want to make any promises because i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just to let them down again LOL. i do admit the amount of exposure the first tournament got has made me feel like more of a perfectionist this time around, doubly because i don’t feel that i’m very suited to being a public online presence (even a relatively quite small one)—i’m bad enough at responding to emails for my own real life responsibilities, let alone tumblr asks for the silly responsibilities i invent for myself lol. that’s not to say i no longer want to do it, or i don’t enjoy it, or even that i don’t feel capable of making a really interesting bracket—just that if i am working to put something new together, and if people are taking the time to submit poems they care about, then i don’t want to half-ass it.

my second admission is something like this. I made the original bracket as a celebration of poetry and our relationships to it. yes it was silly and competitive, and the poems were very tumblr, but still, celebration was the intention—I wanted to have conversations about poetry. I stand by the bracket format as a fun and valuable way to foster conversations about poetry, but truthfully, the poems i’m wanting to have conversations about right now—the poems that we should be talking about right now—are ones that i'm not comfortable putting in a bracket. I reblogged The Baffler’s Poems from Palestine collection on here earlier, and Najwan Darwish’s “Who Remembers The Armenians?”, which I still often find repeating through my head when I'm traveling from one place to another, walking home or riding the bus. I came across this beautiful thread recently where people have been translating Dr. Refaat Alareer’s “If I Must Die” into their own languages (this just makes my translator's heart sing!!!!!!). @havingapoemwithyou has been posting some great poems from and for Palestine as well—check out their tag here.

There's always more to add, and I'll be posting more on here as I come across it, but that's what I feel anyone should be focusing on right now when it comes to poetry. i think poetry can be an escape but it should never be a distraction. does that make sense? i wouldn't be against doing a one-off poll here or there, but it feels weird to be making a tournament for poetry right now, or anytime soon. i feel like what free time i have right now is still best utilized helping my friends with organizing in the real world. and god, a bit off-topic but while I'm talking, fuck poetry foundation—I have so much respect for all the poets keeping up the boycott, because while i think it's a simple decision, it's not always an easy one (Aurielle Lucier discussed that here).

anyways, if you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I could go on and on, but really this was just meant to be a message telling y'all that there won't be another tournament for a while lol. even so i'll be trying to use this small silly platform as best i can until palestine is free because that's the absolute least i can do.

#not a poll #also i'm closing my ask box for now because i know i don't have the bandwidth to answer anything rn. sorry :( #but feel free to reply here with your thoughts and any resources and i'll do my best to respond #or even messages might be fine. something about the ask format just gives me anxiety sometimes lmao #cannot stress this enough i am so so so bad at responding to things #even when i want to or enjoy doing it

[rev3rb]

No apologies necessary! I don’t always have something to reply, so I didn’t expect you to be on the lookout for a message anyways lol

I’m definitely right with you when it comes to the feelings of disappointment and frustration. This manga introduces a lot of intriguing concepts that I want to see pay off properly, but the longer we’re strung along the less confident I am that those things will be fully explored. Especially when the characters who represent different aspects of these themes disappear for months at a time. Like Shinya who has a defining trait of not getting riled up and acting on his desires. That’s part of the reason I did genuinely want to know your take on Mahiru’s goals bc I think looking at the characters is a good way of analyzing different positions on the spectrum of things. Although bc a lot of characters seem to have contradictory philosophies, even if they can all agree that God’s way is wack, I can’t see them all agreeing on how their world should look. Generally they don’t wanna be controlled and don’t like the current state of things, but if they all band together and succeed in making a change… then what? Do we resurrect ppl willy-nilly without consequence? Is everyone immortal now? Is it wrong to let someone die if you resurrect them after? Basically, a power vacuum and a shit ton of questions emerge once you get rid of the current rules. Even so, I’m still hoping for a satisfying conclusion even though it’s hard to imagine getting one within the next century 😐

True enough I suppose, but I still feel bad.

Exactly! I feel like that feeling of 'will this even get properly explored' is just intensified with how much we jump around. In general, I'd say we always tend to circle back to concepts and plot threads that get mentioned, BUT the roundabout way we often get there can just be frustrating.

Oh, I agree with all of that. Characters are undeniably the strongest point for this series as the plot itself is WACK af and all over the place, but as you say, it can be a bit hard to pin them down when they keep popping in and out of the story and ESPECIALLY when you look at Vampire Reign in its own bubble separate from C@16, whether that be because one hasn't read it or just for analysis sake. Again, a story should be able to stand on its own without side content imo, and it's sometimes crazy to think about how much weaker OnS's story gets without the added context C@16 brings. A talk for another time though. But yes, all their separate goals and viewpoints. I agree with what you're saying. It's why I feel so unsure about how the story is going to go. In concept, everyone teaming up makes sense since that's kinda just a standard trope-y thing, but they have different views on how they want the world to end up like you said. I'd imagine Yu's view would win out since he's the protagonist, but the other main parties' philosophies are strong and have been in the making for long periods of time. They're not just going to toss everything to the wind and join Yu because he says he'll make sure everything works out... or at least they SHOULDN'T if the story is going to be a satisfactory one, and that's what worries me. It's hard to imagine getting a satisfying ending with what we have now. Things will have to develop a lot to get there, which is why your last comment here is so true lol. We have no hints that OnS will be ending any time soon, so there's time, but if we keep wasting chapter space with pointless banter or information that we've already seen multiple times, I'm going to lose it. We're never gonna get there lol. I've said it before, but while I'm usually all for character-building banter and recaps/reminders (when relevant and necessary for the later here), I'm approaching my wit's end when it comes to Kagami wasting chapter space. Maybe "wasting" is harsh, but how many times have we talked like this and had a "another chapter spent not really accomplishing much of anything/moving the story forward :/" conclusion? Too many.

Tangentally related to all this, but since you bring up characters, I have to say, Kagami's use of them can be SO bad at times. Characters just disappear! I get that with how the story is, some characters, Shinya and the rest of Guren squad in particular, won't get as much spotlight, but the amount of times characters inexplicably disappear is noticeably high. I wouldn't say that they're necessarily representative of different aspects of the story, so they're less relevant, but for example, Narumi where are you?? He has to be the most egregious case of this. At least we know where Shinya is right now. How about Lacus who has that whole thing with Yoichi? And with Lacus comes Rene, though he's less significant. Also, while they're not plot-relevant at all as far as I can tell, we also haven't seen the likes of Chess and Horn in FOREVER! It is what it is I guess, but it'd be nice if we had SOME acknowledgment of these disappearances if we really have to have them. Narumi's continued absence being unaddressed entirely continues to be absolutely baffling.

#Owari no Seraph #OnS 131 #while nothing about that chapter in particular is discussed #it's still somewhat relevant to the chapter so #Anonysis asks #justice for Narumi #we're way past the point of where it was sensible to acknowledge it #even if someone acknowledges it now #it's too late and will likely come off weird #My posts

[nacaharachuya]

Okay so i realised im a fucking idiot and that i’ve been sending you shit through “?” And i have no idea where those messages go through so whoopdy doo ig but in my defence i wasnt able to send anything any other way bc.. uhh.. yeah my email wasn’t confirmed n all that. Im telling u man i’m a whole ass boomer rn🤦‍♀️ can’t even remember how to send an ask smh.

Anyways i only now finished reading svs because i’ve been putting it off in favour of reading different fics (works from other fandoms and… ooc soukoku fics. Listen i hate mischaracterisation as much as the next guy but i find them very entertaining okay) and AAAUURGGHH WHAT A BANGER. The way you write is immaculate if svs was a food it’d have a savoury taste like i’d be liking my fingers n shit. I found out about it when you posted on twitter you updated it (it was the smut chapter, by the way) and i was like “huh” and decided to read it and my god am i glad I didn’t skip over that tweet.

Idk if this was on purpose or not but verlaine is kinda cringefail in your fic and i love it. I am a firm believer that as badass as verlaine is he is undeniably embarrassing and i need MORE of that.

My one criticism for svs is that we needed more adam scenes. He should have been added like really, unnecessarily early on in the fic and act as a third wheel in the fic. But like a third wheel soukoku did not want or ask for but he’s just kinda there they can’t really get rid of him. Chuuya and dazai in their divorce arc arguing and adam is in the background thinking “i could crack a really funny joke from this” (on that note i added the lines “Adam’s blabbering makes more sense now, so they act as if nothing has happened. “When I lift this veil, you will seal the deal with a kiss.” He can’t stop himself from laughing, “I hope you enjoyed that joke too.” “We didn’t,” Verlaine says from across the shrine. “Paul be quiet.”” In my “collection of fanfic lines I chuckled at” in my notes. He’s so silly i love him. I love how he laughs at his own jokes he just like me fr.)

Anyways here are like two extra svs doodles. I keep thinking about how you said that chuu can fluctuate between genders (literally) and its so… zamn.

And reading the scene where verlaine is brushing chuuya’s hair inspired me to draw this

I have no idea how long chuuya’s hair is supposed to be like idk if it’s “yeah his hair is a little longer than it is in canon haha” or “yeah mf got some LONG ass hair looking like rapunzel”. Also I don’t remember if his lil ribbon was red or blue but.. i jus went with blue and i didn’t know if the pearls were supposed to be like on his head or woven into his braid so i just went with the latter. And again ALSO i know he was barefoot but i’m not drawing his fucking dogs okay.

This ask is long as hell never let me talk again LMAO

Currently looking at a detail i forgot in the drawing… not pointing it out in hopes you don’t notice it either smh but GOD DAMMIT 🤬🤬🤬

DAWG I OPENED THIS YESTERDAY IN SHOCK IA M ALWAYS BLOWN AWAY BY YOUR ASKS AND ART IT MAKES ME FEEL SO LOVED AND SO CRAZY LIKE!?!?! I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVED IT ENOUGH TO MAKE ART I SAVE IT AND LOOK AT IT CONSTANTLY ;_; IM LIKE.....

AND ALSO THANK YOU. I need svs criticism and ur right I should have introduced more characters earlier I just got carried away with skk because...IDK BUT ADAM WAS MY SAVING GRACEE. He was so silly I wanted to add him sooner but I was like wait....no... BUT HE IS IN THE SEQUEL!!! DW!!! His silly ass is there and he's cracking them jokes and Verlaine is like o_o. THE ADAM LINES WERE SO FUN TOO CAUSE HE'S NOT CRINGE HE'S JUST....HIM.

Verlaine is cringe-fail on purpose tho and I'm glad you saw that because I see him as an incredibly pathetic person who can't do normal human things. He would like bite open a metal can or rip it open with his hands because he doesn't know what a can opener is. He is that type of guy.

The art is just immaculate bro like straight-up BEAUTIFUL. Chuuya's literal genderfluidity is something I'm glad people like cause when I imagine divinity I think of someone not bound by sex or gender and whatnot plus I just don't think he'd give a fart. so like....world's most wonderful tits...but he's shorter.

THE WEDDING OUTFIT IS SENDING ME TO THE GRAVE THO LIKE. IT"S PERFECT AND IDK WHAT DETAIL YOU MISSED CAUSE I FORGET EVERYTHING BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT I"M. THE HAIR LENGTH I DIDN"T SPECIFIY !!! He looks so *crying emoji cause I don't have my phone* you don't have to draw his toes I just think barefoot chuu running up the stairs to meet dazai is very him. perseverance.

BOYCACA WHAT IS YOUR TWT LET ME FOLLOW YOU AND BOTHER YOU THERE AND SPREAD THE BOYCACA AGENDA

#asks #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #dazai #chuuya #silver soul #my writing #boycaca #boy caca art is so juicy AGAIN

[buckys-metal-arm]

Alright, look. Because of the truly exorbitant amount of Bucky/Sebastian Stan content I put on this blog I'm gonna make one post re: the most recent controversy because I feel it important to do so. Just bc I like him and the character he plays in the MCU does NOT mean I think he's immune to criticism. That said, reblogs and replies are turned off because I'm saying my one piece on the matter and have been having a string of real, genuine good days recently which even on meds doesn't happen often and I don't owe a single one of you on either side of this my mental health over a subject matter I really just don't want in my head any longer than it needs to be in there tbh

Also I'm doing this in bullet points bc that makes sense in my head and also am on mobile so can't put a read more on here so I'm sorry in advance for the wall of text. Without any further ado, let's unpack this.

Full disclosure: I am a 23 year old individual who did watch the series not knowing until after that it was made without Pamela's consent, only watched it bc Seb was in it, and was only tangentially aware of who the titular characters were (like I knew Baywatch and Motley Crüe and had heard Pamela's name before but like I knew nothing about any of it). I was born like 2 years after everything with the tape in question went down and really knew nothing about the situation with it. Thats not me trying to defend anything, I'm just laying everything out ahead of what I'm about to say.

So like most people at this point I read his insta post and I personally, GENUINELY think he did write it with the best of intentions. I don't think he was trying to be outwardly malicious or drag Pamela into it or invite harassment of her or anyone tbh. And like, dude got nominated for an Emmy, odds are he probably wrote it the midst of or coming off of a lot of excitement and probably wasn't thinking clearly. God knows I wouldn't be if I was in that situation

HOWEVER

This is NOT me excusing it as "well we all say dumb shit sometimes". Because that would be bad imo. Actors are not infallible or immune to criticism just because I like them imo. I'm currently going through a similar thing with my feelings on John Mulaney but that's a rant for another day and another blog.

Like I said, I don't think his intentions were anything other than good, and that he was trying to be genuine

That said I am a firm believer in the idea the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and that when you are a part of that you do need to own up to it.

His tagging Pamela (and Tommy for that matter, but for different reasons) was definitely a bad move, and the post overall read as extremely tone deaf. Like. Royally so.

And I definitely think the response to it, while a little harsh in some cases, isn't undeserved. What he said was a bad take and really poorly worded, and he needs to be called out

And I do hope he addresses it and apologizes in a meaningful way and does some introspection. But also I know there is a crowd that no matter what he does they'll say it's not good enough because there always is.

And that's NOT me saying every time a celebrity apologizes and people say it's not good enough it's undeserved (if I had a nickel for every Notes App Apology™️ one has made that was DEFINITELY not enough I could pay off my student loans)

And it's a valid take, people can do what they want. I don't expect to sway anybody.

But also I dunno. I don't think he's exempt or immune from criticism because he's famous or my celebrity crush or anything like that and I do think he needs to be held accountable for what he said and needs to address the backlash

But also he is a human being and human beings fuck up sometimes.

Both of these things can be true and not cancel out the other imo.

I do think the 'if you still support him you support abusers and seb needs to be blacklisted in Hollywood' takes are a little fuckin much honestly

But also the fans who are just sweeping this under the rug and dismissing it as 'everyone hating for no reason' also need to take a long hard look at it because what he said is kinda messed up seeing as he was talking about consent and exploitation whilst profiting off of a show made without consent about a victim of exploitation is Not Great

And like. You can like someone and acknowledge that they did a shit thing. These 2 things can coexist.

But also this isn't me trying to be some faux intellectual claiming moral superiority because I'm in the gray area or anything

I'm a Literally a 23 year old barely out of college person on the internet with limited life experience who likes the MCU and majored in theatre, I'm not going to pretend I'm some final authority or expert on this

I'm just one (1) person saying I see both sides but also maybe both sides need to calm down a bit

I know I'm just a drop in the ocean of discourse and I'm fine with that

Basically tl;dr: I think what Sebastian said and that he tagged Pamela was messed up and Hope he apologizes in a meaningful way but also know that means different things to different people, I am the farthest thing from an authority figure on the situation and just decided I wanted to say at least something based on the content of my blog.

I'm never sure how to end of of these but this is the end

#sebastian stan #pam and tommy #controversy tw #this is the one post i am making on this subjecy #my replies and rbs are turned off because im not getting involved. ive said my piece and thats all youre getting #kindly respect my wishes and leave me the hell alone about it #also im a marvel sideblog with like 10 followers your anon hate will gain 0 traction if you send it 🤷‍♂️ #seb stan

[catboynutsack]

Random hopes for FFXIV Dawntrail in no particular order from a person who's currently about to start the title quest Endwalker (so don't spoil the dungeon/fights and any post EW content)

New playable species outside of female Hrothgar; specifically another animalistic species similar to Miqo'te/Viera in that they're much more humanoid with animal features rather than anthropomorphic animals (like Hrothgar.) Biggest hopes are for a bird like race (similar to Meteion, I love harpies so much and while I know she's a familiar it would be cool to see a playable species based on her) or fish people (similar to Dungeons and Dragons Tritons, again I love mermaids and fish-like people so much.)

Random and small, I'd like to see canonical ages established within the game, maybe with like nameday celebrations of some kind for some characters. It would be so cute to have a birthday party for Alisaie and Alphinaud, I would die for those little dweebs and they're still technically kids and you KNOW their mom would go nuts for a celebration for them. I know there's been canon age mentions in additional content like books and such but ingame would be nice.

Viera hats for the love of God. I'm not a 3D artist and idk the process but it can't be that hard can it?? I know there's a whole design aspect involved bc Big Ol Ears but like. Square Enix is a huge company, surely they can allocate some resources to actually make clothing appear on an entire very popular race. If it's more complicated than I know then forgive me 3D artists, I love what y'all do I'm just uneducated on it 💛

Random as hell again and probably more suited towards an update than a new expansion but. I'd really like them to sorta retcon (is that the right word? Idk it's 3:20 am and I cant sleep) primal weapons so all primals have weapons for all classes. I'd kill for an ice scythe from the Extreme Shiva battle from HW or a pair of Leviathan Chakrams for my Dancer. I know that levelling is an issue but if they were, say, available via trading totems from the fight and synced to their class's lowest level I'd think that could work. Idk as someone who loves primal themed glams but mains Dancer and Reaper it drives me bananas that it's so limited.

A new Important female character that Doesn't Fucking Die or is somehow written off in the same pack for the love of God I swear they disproportionately kill off/write off female characters (I miss Moenbryda and Ysayle every day)

More romantic emotes/activities outside of the ceremony of eternal bonding! Not only is my partner very busy and we often have little FFXIV dates rather than in person things, I'm in a polycule and by the time I started playing my partner was already married ingame to my metamor (my partner's other partner) so I'm locked out of some emotes like the embrace emote while they aren't and it kinda sucks. It would be nice to be able to be romantic with them outside of /blowkiss and /hug and to be able to do couples content outside of the ceremony of eternal bonding. Maybe just a me problem though.

Un-gender all clothing items. I want my male character to wear a craftable bikini top goddamnit, it's fun. Plus it's a beachy-themed expansion afaik so it would make sense to un-gender the bathing suits

Speaking of craftable bikini tops, more craftable clothing for glams and not just combat!!! Cute bathing suits and the such that are level 1 and meant exclusively for glams would be amazing. We have a few already but with the upcoming theme being seemingly being beaches it seems appropriate.

Longer hairstyles. Clipping be damned my miqo'te would rock a long hair look (and his braid, which is the same hairstyle as Fourchenault's, already clips into every top ever so like. C'mon)

Number 1 on this list is the new species being humanoid with animal features. I eat that shit up with a spoon. I love making OCs and a new alt devoted to a species I like is absolutely in the books. Already have done it twice lol.

Improve Aurum Vale for the love of God that dungeon is a nightmare and it's like one of three that ever shows up on rouls on Dynamis

Anyways if any of this bothers you for any reason please just scroll by, these are my middle of the night daydreams when I can't sleep of things that I personally would enjoy in the game, I know my ideas don't apply to everyone and all of them wouldn't really make sense for one reason or another but it's fun to write them down and put them out into the world. And obviously this post isnt gonna make a difference in the game itself, I'm just a rando on Tumblr lol. Thank you <3

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy #ffxiv #ff14 #ffxiv heavensward #heavensward spoilers #a realm reborn #a realm reborn spoilers #endwalker #endwalker spoilers #ffxiv endwalker #ffxiv dawntrail #video game #mmorpg #jrpg #added the disclaimer at the end bc too many people see a post that doesnt apply to them and take it personally #its mostly an issue on Twitter and tiktok but i see it here too sometimes and its. mostly harmless but generally annoying

[emptinas-aa]

the   master   of   masters     //     alternate   universe

i’ve decided to go ahead and make this an official verse! so far this’ll be a test to see how i like it and if my mutuals and rp partners enjoy it as well! below is a big ol’ dump of info for anyone interested or just curious as to how i’ve managed to rationalize this one angery boy being the master of masters himself.

ATTITUDE.

i know this is an odd place to start but it was one of the main things i wanted to tackle before committing to this idea ─── the master of masters and vanitas act very differently and i wanted to explore this aspect in detail before branching into anything else, so i think it’s a good place to start as far as solidifying my ideas go.

i’ve established before on this blog how much i love to put emphasis on vanitas’ unversed and how he expresses less emotion the more unversed he’s expelled as it pushes emotions out of his native body and into an extension of himself. in birth by sleep vanitas is his quietest, he’s calm and collected and doesn’t really snap or yell very often if at all, this is because he has thousands of his unversed spread across multiple worlds at once, his main body is left feeling hollow and emotionless, and he likes feeling this way as it puts him fiercely in charge of himself. in kh3 he’s louder and snappier, considerably so, and this is because his unversed only occupy one world, monstropolis, and later on a bit of the keyblade graveyard as well. a lot of his reactions to things are more personal and human-like because of this.

during the age of fairy tales... vanitas, or rather the master of masters, keeps all of his unversed inside at all times ― and yes, he does have the ability to create unversed at this time. the reason the master of masters is so aloof and out there, why he’s so expressive with his reactions and being over the top with his moods changing like the flick of a switch is because he has countless emotions bubbling away inside him all at once, all fighting for the forefront.

in kingdom hearts 3 and remind you see glimpses in vanitas’ attitude that don’t exactly fit him... ‘hey guys, feeling a little LEFT OUT HERE’ with such vim and vigor, such a need for attention that the mom definitely portrays at times too, and ‘venty-wenty’? things that i at least can personally say i’d never expected to hear vanitas say, so why is this change happening? why now? well... i’ll get to that in a bit.

VANISHED, DIMMED, AND FADED WITHOUT A TRACE.

so before i go any further i wanna take a bit of a jump back to instead talk about how i see the master of masters becoming vanitas, how this change in not just attitude but his entire person is so different before we tackle the most recent stuff and him realizing who he was / is.

all the way back to the age of fairy tales; the fact that ventus resides in this timeline is sort of the saving grace for this au - along with of course vanitas’ mention in remind about how they were never the same person to begin with. anyway ─── when the master decided it was high time he booked it outta there and let the world take the wheel, he discarded his coat and physical form ( which is already something my canon vanitas can do, discard sora’s body and just be a bunch of sentient, floating darkness ) to instead plant himself inside the heart of the one boy he knew thanks to the book of prophecies would flee the keyblade war and make it relatively unharmed to the world to come and actually live it; ventus.

there he stayed until xehanort extracted the darkness from ventus’ heart in bbs, ‘creating’ him. we already know that this process left ventus without his memories and in a near zombified state for quite some time ― the master of masters wasn’t much different; losing all his memories of his time as said master, a near blank slate with only recollection of his time as ventus post the age of fairy tales at his disposal.

a being with all this excess power he could barely control let alone contain, the unversed now came in waves and rest assured xehanort was thrilled ― the abuse, neglect, and mistreatment came with xehanort’s desire to control vanitas and meld him into his ‘perfect darkness’, it changed him from who he used to be, a chaotic and free spirit now to one of anger and jealousy, of envy and hatred, no longer armed with the knowledge of his creation, the book of prophecies, or anything else aside from xehanort’s harsh teachings.

flash forward now to kh3 where vanitas has reformed himself from the negativity flowing from monstropolis, he’s given an organization cloak for the first time ― and this is where things begin to change. recall in remind when the mom and young xehanort speak? how xeha mentions he feels a connection to the coat, how he feels it was meant for him, he was supposed to wear this; well, a similar sensation occurred in vanitas too. he felt a connection, a piece of the past slipping back through the cracks, it comes back little piece by little piece. vanitas keeps this a secret from xehanort, doing his best not to allow the slowly returning memories to become apparent as the man knows oh so many ways to get whatever he wants out of him at this point, but you see bits of a changing personality slip through like i’d mentioned before, the little bits of dialogue that feel just a little too off.

THE FUTURE.

this is where my info begins to run dry! as for what his plans are and what he intends to do from here on out, i’m not too sure, but somehow i feel like that’s very very fitting for his character. honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if after his death in kh3 he manages to reform himself to his former appearance and, especially with xehanort dead and gone, can continue his watch over the world as the events to come play out as intended. he’s a watchman, a spectator, a journalist, purely there for the ride and to write down what his eyes see from many different reaches of the world.

and who knows? luxu’s done a great job fulfilling his role ― maybe it’s about time for an unprompted rendezvous.

SOME EXTRA TIDBITS.

the master of masters is the original embodiment of darkness created by kingdom hearts to balance the light

he is chaotic neutral

he’s always had the power to create unversed, but would rarely if ever do so before his time as vanitas

he was aware of his fate to lose his memories and become xehanort’s living punching bag and yet still helped ymx be put on his path

the coat helps him keep his unversed inside

#◜ study. ◞ ᵈᵒᵒᵐᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᶠᵃˡˡ . #au tbt // #/ GOD I HOPE THIS SHIT MAKES SENSE BC I'M NOT LOOKING AT IT ANY LONGER SDGYUSDGF / #/ NOW I HAVE TO ICON MOM I'M FUCKI / #/ S H I T UDFGUYSDGF / #/ ELMO RAISING HELL.JPEG /

[your-turn-to-role]

Don't know if this has been said before, but what if Molly's soul is still hidden away in the body, although still around about the level when he died, so it's when Lucien gets taken to 0 hit points or something he's weak enough for Molly to finish him off from the inside

(I don't say it as a "this is what I think's going to happen" sort of thing, it'd just be cool & I'm thinking out loud)

so, i’m gonna ramble a lot about this before i get to your question, because this actually gives me a really good opportunity to talk about something i’ve been wanting to for a while and haven’t made the post yet

i’ve, honestly been really confused by everyone going “oh what if molly’s soul is still in there”, as if molly and lucien are two separate souls fighting over a body, and one’s possessed the other or whatever (especially when beacon theories get involved)

but like... that’s not what happened. to explain, lucien was the original soul. weird cult shit aside, he was an otherwise normal tiefling from shadycreek, who hired vess derogna to help him cast some kind of ritual involving that book

she went along with it, but didn’t actually want lucien’s plans to succeed. she’d read the book extensively herself, she also had nine eyes across her body, but she wanted no part of whatever the somnovem is doing. so when she cast the ritual on lucien, she modified it, and instead of its intended purpose, it shattered lucien’s soul into pieces, intending to make it impossible for him to be resurrected. the tombtakers found his body, seemingly dead, buried him in the woods outside their hideout, and scattered across the continent per lucien’s emergency instructions, plan lost

until the one piece of his soul left in his body slowly managed to wake up. a full soul isn’t actually required to keep a body alive, especially if there’s other weird magic involved, and this piece is very determined. it’s missing the rest of itself, and trying to come to terms with that - doesn’t remember anything, takes months to be able to speak, other than one word, haunted by the emptiness it’s now feeling, and the only other vague memory in their head is of the dark dark magic that brought them here. eventually, like any living creature, they grow, and develop, and move on from that. they were given a new start, a new name, and a family that loved them. molly learned how to be a person, not knowing anything different, and gave himself a whole new identity, had friends, had family, that lucien didn’t. but nothing new was added to the mix other than the love he got from the circus, everything else he built himself

(i’ve had a couple people say to me “well lucien isn’t a reliable source, he could be lying or mistaken about what happened”, and just from my personal insight, i don’t think he’s lying, but even if he was wrong about molly being a piece of his soul and not a whole new soul entirely - molly doesn’t match the symptoms of being a soul given to a new body. but you know what he does match near perfectly? egtw’s description of a hollow one, a being resurrected without a soul)

(he had at least part of one, we know that, we can see it, in lucien, they’re too similar, and molly doesn’t register as undead like hollow ones do. but i’m guessing if a fractured piece of a soul found itself back in its body without the rest of it? it would sound something like this)

“Yet some beings find that, days after they died, they awaken, clutching to life, with only a terrible emptiness inside to remind them of their death.”

“The transition from life to becoming a Hollow One affects different people to different degrees. Some let their anger and regret consume them. Others use their second chance to become a brighter force in the world. However, all Hollow Ones are marked by their new existence: feelings of unease, dread or sadness cling to them like tattered rags of their past life.”

so then he dies. and the mighty nein tell cree. and she spends months looking for a way to bring lucien back. i don’t know exactly how she does it, but she does, collects all (or at least more of, he may be missing some things still) those fragments of his very shattered soul and puts them back together. lucien doesn’t remember everything that molly did, the person he grew to be, and who’s to say really which part of a soul is responsible for memories? if you were to shatter his soul again in the same way, would the part that was molly remember, or would it have to go through the same thing all over again?

but it also leads us to an interesting question of, how does a soul get made. a baby still waiting to be born doesn’t have a soul yet, we know that because of how the beacon works

is each new child not connected to the luxon given a soul by the gods? or do they grow their own, as they learn to be their own person

did molly essentially turn a soul fragment into a whole soul, just by living? and if he did... what part is in lucien now

i’m honestly inclined to believe that lucien’s soul is back together, including the molly part, because of all the ways they’re similar, i think those all came from that fragment. but there’s three options here, 1) the soul fragment that was molly is back as just another puzzle piece, he’s essentially dead, and the purpose of his story is that you don’t have to keep living to keep having an impact on the world, molly has changed things permanently despite how short he lived 2) he did grow a second soul, and that fragment they share is shared, back in lucien’s body, but either molly in the afterlife is missing a piece, or there’s more than 100% of a soul in that body, weirdly stuck together and probably not that noticeable as wrong because there’s already a thousand other voices in there 3) he did grow a second soul, and it’s gone. he left for the afterlife and that piece was unrecoverable, and now lucien’s walking around with 80% of a soul

the first is my belief, honestly, and the only way to get molly back is to shatter lucien in the same way, and hope he still has those repressed memories. the third is what would make molly resurrectable, if you were to kill lucien.

the second, however, is the only thing that really makes sense with molly being “still in there”, and if that 80% of a new soul can manage to wake up from whatever’s going on in lucien’s head, it’s possible!

it would also be pretty symbolically cool bc, while matt changed the blood hunter class a lot recently so it’s no longer a feature (give me back the cool ghostslayer, pls), back when molly was alive, the subtype he was? at high levels he’d get the ability to keep fighting in ghost form after his body fell unconscious, as long as he didn’t die. and i mean fuck if that’s not exactly what he’d be doing here

#cr2 #cr thoughts #lucien #mollymauk tealeaf #ask #text #meta #Anonymous

[fonulyn]

I need to scream about RE ID bc like. Did I enjoy it? Yeah, I did. Was it. Just wrapped up way too nicely and quickly? Also yeah. I was a little disappointed by it tho, like the length, and the flashback scenes weren't as clear as I think they should have been? Like I understood what was happening, but it took me a little too much brain power to like keep up with what was and wasn't a flashback lmao

Also I wanna say, I get wanting to keep Jun See alive but god, that did not look fun. Just let him die, dude, no one wants to live like that, smh.

Thank god they kept Leon's one liners tho, like thank you for that at least lol also Claire, my GIRL, I love her holy shit. Honestly she was amazing, like, just perfect. Not sure why she has a gun in the promotional poster, bc she just. Never has a gun throughout the entire show, I don't think? Also can we talk about how she took that guy down with that lamp, and then hopped on top of him just fucking ready to continue to beat the shit out of him? Chris would be so proud 🥲

Okay also, I saw what you said with that flirting scene, and I agree that it seemed like Leon was trying to lighten the mood, but it so didn't need to be put in there at all @ the writers. Like this show could have gotten away with no romance, or just that one moment near the end with Claire and Leon (which, I don't ship them much, and that moment at the v end where she was like "are you ever gonna stop treating me like a kid?" And he responded with "probably not" or whatever kind of ruined whatever was shown earlier? Like it feels like she's had that convo with Chris before too, so I'm like hm no don't imply romance and then imply that he treats her like a little kid every time they run into each other, now it's weird lol) and been fine. None of the story was contingent on any kind of romance between anyone.

Now with that said, can I just say Patrick absolutely wanted to suck Leon's dick? Like he was smitten, and I bet you they at least fuck after all this is said and done, if not date for a short period of time. I thought they were gonna kill Patrick off, I'm glad they didn't tho, he was v wholesome lol.

Also I wanna mention that every serious moment (save a small handful) I just. I couldn't take it seriously, it was too over the top. Acid? Really? That's the self destruct measure? Slowly rising acid? I dunno, that doesn't seem quite right to me, I don't think that's how it works lol

Honestly they should have just made this into a new movie, bc making it a series implies more to follow and in general a longer narrative, but these eps were barely 20 minutes each, so there's almost no point splitting it like that. Did I enjoy myself? Yeah, I always do when Leon is involved, but it could have been so much better.

Also the silly little shipper in me is kind of desperate for more interaction between Chris and Leon, bc as far as I'm aware it's just RE6, RE vendetta, and RE ID (and I think the person who told Chris to save Claire in either code x or Veronica was Leon? Not 100% about that tho lol) where they actually interact with each other, and considering that they're the two main characters of the franchise, they should probably meet up more? Idk, that's just my gay ass hoping for more Chreon content lmao but still.

ANYWAYS yeah, I would rate the show like a 7.5/10? It wasn't amazing but it wasn't garbage, either. Probably my least favorite of the four animated movies tbh, but I will take the Leon content, thank you Capcom. Also it was interesting to see Leon around the time following/around RE4 and RE degeneration, I thought, I dunno.

oh boy I agree 100% it was wrapped up way too quickly in the end. like killing Jason? by just dropping him in the acid? it was way too simple and easy if you ask me. and like, why didn't he yeet Leon into the acid when he had him by the throat? him not killing Leon makes zero sense to me??

asdfg yeah I get they weren't ready to let Jun See go, but I bet Jun See really would've preferred to go...

I am so happy that they kept the one liners!! Leon felt very, very in character which I loved so much. I was afraid they'd tone it down or make him super serious or so, and it was such a relief they didn't. he was so eager to help and so goddamn kind to everyone I don't know if my heart can even handle it ;;;;;

also Claire!! so badass!! I loved the part where she attacked the guy with the lamp (yes Chris would be super proud haha) and THE HEADBUTT seriously, one of the top highlights of the entire series :'D

(but honestly this is gonna get long i'mma gonna hit that read more here)

and the flirting scene, I do think they could've left it out entirely and it felt a little strong-armed in. but I'm trying to look at the silver lining? Leon was super goddamn adorable in it, like, so cute it hurts :'D and Shen May didn't seem bothered really, it was more this joking thing between them. so while yes, it was unnecessary, i'm focusing on the joking feel of it and choosing to interpret it as such :'D

also, can I just say, the "romantic moment" with Claire and Leon near the end didn't feel very romantic to me? I know it's a romcom cliché (or at least a fanfic cliché lmao) how they ended up in a pile after the rescue but ...it didn't scream romance to me? although I do kind of like the pairing! (not a top fave but a cute one)

and yes, the whole "when are you gonna stop treating me like a kid?" "probably never" felt SO much like a sibling moment!! such big brother energy from Leon, and I don't know, that made me super duper happy?? I want them to be friends. I neeeed them to be friends gdi. which is why I am unhappy with how mad Claire seemed to be at Leon in the end and how they left it off like they did. I am hoping that it sets things up for a second season? and they for whatever reason need them on kind of the opposing sides at first? because otherwise it makes no sense to me for her to be that disappointed in him. in Degeneration they already establish they work in different ways towards the same goal, and for that to do a 180 now feels... like a disservice to the characters? idk?

lmaooooo but yes Patrick 100% wanted to suck Leon's dick he didn't even try to be subtle about it :'D idk I would've wanted Patrick to have more depth and screentime too, i so wish they would've made it a longer series and given the characters more development. because I liked pretty much all of the new characters they introduced! but it feels none of them reached their actual potential!

then again that is kind of the whole deal with resident evil in general, they set up awesome characters and end up wasting them half of the time :'D guess i shouldn't be surprised.

THE SLOWLY RISING ACID PISSED ME OFF lmaooo c'mon!! it doesn't seem like a good self destruct measure. especially since ...you'd need different acid to dissolve organic matter and to dissolve inorganic matter if we're being nitpicky. and how would it be plausible for them to store enough of it safely to even do this?? they should've just detonated the whole place and blown it to smithereens or something, the acid was. stupid.

i agree, it feels like a movie. but I think @tirsynni is probably right when saying that it was sort of a test run to see if they should make more? which I am so hoping for. because even with the complaints I have of this, I DID enjoy it, a lot!! and I do want more! and maybe this time we get Claire and Leon actually working together for more than fifteen seconds! :'D

also I definitely would not say no to more Chris and Leon interactions. (yes it was Leon who told Chris to save Claire :) at least that) it... in general makes no sense to me how capcom seems to think friendships work? like how Sherry is all "Leon and Claire are my best friends" and then they imply they haven't met in years? if not more? idek it's. weird. it's like their characters go into storage containers in between their missions to be stored away so they can't even accidentally have personal lives or friendships or anything. weird.

(what I said about having amazing characters and ending up wasting their potential? yeah)

for me, personally, it's... well, my score for the show would depend on whether I just focus on the characterizations and what I liked, or if I try to actually take the plot and all into account too :'D but I did like this more than Degeneration! already the fact that Leon has actual facial expressions is enough to put it way above that one. (and for the record, I don't hate Degeneration either, I do like it, but... Leon is such a cardboard cutout with zero personality in it, it's super frustrating)

idk I think I need to still process this a bit to see how I will like it in the end :'D there are things i'm super hyped about in it, and things i'm disappointed in, let's see how they'll weigh in the overall experience eventually.

#idutr #replies #ask and i shall answer #re answers #infinite darkness spoilers #spoilers #infinite darkness

[fabulaee]

COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE

// A 🐺 fic based on my Stay journey’s aesthetics which was a coffee shop au bc they remind me of those times when I used to go to the café to draw and would see fellow regulars but unlike y/n and Chan, I never interact with them. We all just share a table 😂😂😂

*

*

*

Monday. Wednesday. Friday

That was the set schedule for your coffee run. MWF from 9 am to 10, then coming back with your study supplies from 1 to 4 in the afternoon. It was routine; the small college café a safe haven from the slight messy floor of your dorm and the formal vibe of the library. Here you were focused and at peace of mind. The aroma of the coffee beans and soft sounds of the coffeeshop’s playlist serving as background noise.

There wasn’t much students at this time of the day compared to the much later prime of the evenings. The café then filled with college youths grabbing a drink after a long day’s worth of lectures and test reminders or staying to cram a night’s worth of information. There was something about cafés that seemed inviting and less suffocating yet at the same time a place where you can find the nursing students with their big thick books opened with streaks of neon yellow running across them.

“Vanilla Bean Cold Brew for y/n!”

Standing up, you went to grab your drink leaving behind the pastel rainbow set of highlighters and gel pens on top of your notes. You quickly thanked the barista as he handed you a straw before plopping back down on your seat continuing where you last went off. Something about the history of impressionistic art. You sighed as you lifted your eyes across the room, it was currently 2:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. A good time to take a break before your mind starts to commit brain fart.

*

Chris Bang. Affectionally called Bang Chan by his friends. Music major with golden hands, a good candidate for the honor roll, member of the varsity swim team, and resident social butterfly. An all rounder any college is proud to have.

You heard about him once or twice from your common friend, Yang Hongseok. They met at the gym apparently and became quick friends through the Japanese exchange student, Adachi Yuto, and their shared love for fitness.

You see him sit at the same spot everyday since the middle of sophomore year. His laptop with the cute decal of Deadpool open and his AirPods snugly tucked in his ears. He's always has his blonde head bopping to a song he's playing on either his phone or his laptop. Always seemed so engrossed in this little world he made for himself across the room, ignorant to the bustling crowd of students that come and go.

He looks up catching you off guard. His lips curled slightly upwards, chuckling to himself as he watches your cheeks turn pink in embarrassment. Great, he must think I'm a weirdo!

With a quick exchange of nods you both went back to doing your own thing. Just a regular day at the coffee shop.

*

“Do you mind if I sit here?”

It's the Friday following Monday's slightly embarrassing incident. You looked up to find the same Chris Bang, laptop in hand, smiling at you like a friendly yet lost puppy. Warm brown orbs looking back at yours.

“My laptop's about to die and this is the only table with an outlet.” He explains himself, a tiny awkward giggle making up as the period.

“O-oh, of course!” You stuttered, hastily making room for him despite the large space as you swiped for the stray pastel highlighters and napkins closer. “No one's sitting here so go ahead.”

He whispered a small thanks before setting down his laptop to grab his bag from his usual spot while you went back to your notes. It was silent for awhile, only the sounds of pen against paper and the soft tick tack of the keys. At some point you hit a mind block, eyes glazing in boredom as you stared at the blank space of your notebook. You felt your table mate leave his stationary position too. he stretched in his seat before turning his attention to you.

Sensing his sudden gaze on you, you flashed him a small smile. You were never one to start a conversation, often keeping to yourself and minding your own business. A bit of a complete opposite towards the friendly Australian who somehow knows at least three students from each program.

He smiles back at you showing off his cute dimples and an outstretched hand. “Hey, I'm Chan. I never caught your name.”

Again with the cute giggle. It seems to be like a signature to him but it's cute still the same. You grasped his hand giving it a soft shake. “Y/n,” you answered curtly.

*

The following days you find yourself hanging around Chan more. Afternoon study sessions were no longer a date between you and the textbook or the small watercolor set you laid out on the table. Chan was there to fill the space making the long table that was a party of one to a party of two and maybe some on certain busy hours but mostly it was the both of you in your own tiny world.

You got to know him, his likes and dislikes. His major and passion for music, sometimes slipping in a few complaints about certain homework here and there; What else he likes to do. Apparently mr. Chris Bang was gifted in so many areas you often wondered what good he must've done in his previous life to be this gifted. Not only was he a jack of all trades, he's also the master of all.

You even had a small debate between Deadpool and Spider-Man. God, he's such a nerd it's adorable!

In return he knew these things about you. How you're taking up art as your major hoping to make it out as an illustrator one day—

“it would be so cool if you drew a variant cover for Deadpool!”

“Ha! We'll see about that, Chris Reynolds.”

He knows how you like to collect stickers and are quite passionate about making sure your notes are beautiful. He knows how you loved your drinks iced despite it being the middle of winter.

“Isn’t the weather too cold for that?” He’d ask with a quirk of his brow, amused brown eyes glancing at the iced hazelnut latte you have in your hands.

“Nope!” you replied, taking a sip as you did so. “It’s always the perfect weather for an iced coffee, Bang.”

He only chuckled at that.

*

It hit you like a freight train. You didn’t mean to fall for him. It wasn’t supposed to happen. You and Chan? No way, it was just supposed to be just friends. The kind where you hang out and have fun, no feelings attached. He was just supposed to be that regular from the café, right?

That was the plan, right?

But you can’t deny the small flutters from your heart much like those newly emerged butterflies. How you can feel that giddy feeling of excitement when you spot his mop of chocolate curly locks outside the café’s window. How you mirror his smile when you get together to talk about anything and everything under the sun. Bang Chan in all his cute dimpled glory, soft curls and hearty giggles was just too much to adore.

Yet it wasn’t that what pulled you in to the Music major. You felt love blossom when you both stayed up late, when the café was quiet after a busy day. The only people around being a couple medical students, some late night goers, and the employees. You felt the tiny flower buds start to bloom when he stayed with you then; keeping you company under the dimly warm fluorescent lights, laptop tucked away and a hand playing with yours.

You felt it bloom when you cuddled on the booth’s sofa one rainy November day. He scoots over next to you when he saw you shiver from the corner of his eyes. He’s naturally warm —you’d often tease him how he made the room hot. Why? well it’s because he’s from Australia! which earned the loud chorus of laughter from his friends and Chan’s ears turning into the color of the fire hydrant.

“Babygirl, you’re shivering.” He mutters as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you gently towards him. You accepted the subtle invitation, sides sticking together as you both went through forgotten notes and half finished coffees.

You felt it when you caught yourself staring at him a little longer than intended. Eyes drifting from Jisung’s expressive face to glance at the older one. You watched him look at the former with such adoration in his eyes; how he looked like a proud dad. You watched him nod along and laugh to Jisung’s animated story about how he and Hyunjin would fight back in the day, a fact that still seemed to shock you seeing how they are the best of friends.

Your eyes would linger on him while he worked on his music; focused and determined, hiding the exhaustion and sleepless nights prominent on the dark circles under his eyes. He was handsome even if he looked like shit. Hell, he was handsome even when he sported the infamous broccoli colored hair. You’d find yourself in a trance, like it was a dream. The world didn’t matter as much anymore when it was only you and Chan in the small dimly table, surrounded by the aroma of coffee beans at the small quaint cafe at the corner of the street.

*

You loved him. You loved him in the most beautiful of ways; you loved him in the most perfect highs and in all those crevices full of flaws.

You loved him in those bright moments, when the lights were shining on him during a 3RACHA gig. How they made him more beautiful, how they made him stand out from the 2 younger members. You loved watching him do what he loves; how he immersed himself in a world that was different from yours. How his version of colors and dried paint were beats and melodies, rhythm and tempos.

You loved him in the lowest moments; when the tide was high enough to cover you. You loved how you fit perfectly in his arms, how he became a shoulder to lean on when you felt the world was against you and you to him. When he would open up to you about his worst fears and his grandiose ambitions; when he spilled his heart out at the underlaying insecurity that’s been biting him due to his perfectionist attitude. You became his confidante; the one he can trust his heart to.

You loved him in the times he was vulnerable. You loved him when he would bask in glory and shining lights. You loved him like those cheesy lines in love songs. You loved him like how the tides would look at the moon in awe and yearning; gravitating with every push and pull.

You loved him in ways words can never describe. How the seeds he planted in your heart bloomed to the most beautiful bouquet of flowers.

You love him simply because he’s Chan.

You promised yourself you’d be just friends. It was safer that way but then again, what is love when she’s not one without twists and turns?

What is love when she comes to you, sneaky and sly like a weed disguised as a flower, whispering into your ear that it’s him.

It’s him, it’s him, it’s him.

It was always him, it just took you some time to figure that out.

*

When you first met Chan, he was simply a friend of a friend. Someone you knew because your brothers are his friends. He was the guy you’d hear about in passing, the popular cool guy with a heart bigger than a massive sized teddy bear and a smile that could cure the most depressing of days. Someone who, in probability, would just be an acquaintance to you.

He was that guy you regularly saw at the coffee shop you visited every week. He was just some guy from the music department who would flash you a friendly smile because you were a familiar face.

Funny how fate made him more than what you originally expected him to be.

#Feels like love #🐺97 #amg no idk what happened in thw middle of writing #but I’ll tag if I ever write the letter version which will probably have more #bc it was a bit hard to write in 2nd person #I haven’t written since 2019 😭😭😭 yall will habw to #forgive me #my skills be rusty af #also this wisnt proofread so if there’s any mistakes that’s the work of my sleep deprived braincell #BUHU PLS BE GENTLE WITH ME THIS IS MY FIRST TIME AND IM SHY AF 😭😭😭 #but u know what Im not shy of??? #MY INTENSE LOVE FOR CHRISTOPHER BANG #amg ok shall hide now ú///ú

[moderngirlmp3]

i have been giggling at "i can't... bear... it" for a solid minute, which is probably longer than it should be? but whatever!! i love puns that was amazing

!!!!! x act lyy. FLIP A COIN. genius. wait wait wait i'm about to do something really dumb ok

*finger guns* heads up,, i have *wiggles eyebrows* Feelings for ya *swaggery grin*

yeah that was. idk. i apologize bestie <3

ay sibling affectionate bullying solidarity!! love that for us. that is fair judgement!! idk what younger me was thinking especially bc i didn't even WATCH the music videos so. yep.

FSJNDLKFHJLWKSDF I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO WRITE BUT YEAH, THATS BASICALLY WHAT I'D WANT TO DO WITH MY CLONE. ohhhhh that and the spider man pointing meme because that would be funny too :D

huh. that's actually really smart and useful i wish i had thought of that shdfkljsdf. pranks would be fun!! oooh plus that would be the first time you actually see your own face, and not just a reflection/photo of it!

oooh okay that does sound really nice and organized and aesthetic-y now i'm tempted to try using widgets and whatnot fjsdl. very fair!! that sounds like a lovely day tbh, very vibey in all the right ways. yes!! so true!! other people saying words and things yeehaw <3. but yeah, youtube essays and commentaries are pretty interesting and fun to watch.

hmm maybe skydiving or jumping off the roof of a building. idk, that sounds fun but also maybe a little scary? so take the danger aspect out and i think it would still feel adrenaline-y but also less terrifying yknow. i can! kind of! i mean i had some sort of succulent that i mayormaynot have forgotten to water for months but it's still alive and thriving so that might count for something?? maybe??

i don't have a particular flower that i'd say is my favorite, but there's a flower called the galaxy petunia which is really pretty!! don't know much else about it but it looks cool :D. ooh ig libraries? because there's something about them that feels more fragile and paper-y than a bookstore, although bookstores are also really nice and have a wonderful feel to them.

can you keep plants alive? what's one of your favorite decorations in your room right now? what is something that you keep meaning to do, but always forget about? do you have a preference for what kind of jewelry you wear?

(ps i'm so sorry for replying to this late, but i hope you're doing great!!) - 🌵

SDGHSGSHSDJF HEADS UP I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YA. SWAGGY GRIN. IM LOSING MY SHIT. PLEASE.

oh my god yes YES the spider man pointy thing that would be absolutely incredible holy shit. i would kill for that.

dude dude yes try the widgets and aesthetics even if you don't keep it, it's a super fun procrastination method and just. a vibe.

damn skydiving or jumping off a roof !! really going out there i like that omg . yeah the idea of adrenaline without the danger would be great i think.

LMAO oh my god that's amazing. your succulent has more determination than i ever could so i admire it a lot. does it have a name by any chance ?

YOOOO DUDE galaxy petunias are GORGEOUS i just looked them up !!! omg !! im obsessed.

yes yes ok "more fragile and paper-y" sooo true. i feel like. okay hang on this won't make sense but i have to try. libraries hold years of knowledge they hold the stories of not only the books held in them but also every person who has stepped through the doors. every person who has brushed their fingers across the spine of a book every person who has curled up in a chair in the winter to get out of the cold every person who has gone through book after book every person who has only read a few every child who races through the shelves and excitedly consumes story after story every old person who sits in a circle with their friends to do their monthly book group. libraries hold communities and infinities and stories of the past and the present and the future. bookstores hold books.

anyways. i absolutely cannot keep plants alive. i own one fake plant and it is in a white pot with black spots so i named it moo. hmmm i have these ivy string lights and i haven't put them up yet (well i tried but they kept falling down) but i love them a lot.

there are SO MANY THINGS. ummm. god i dont even know hmmm. i guess ive just been meaning to watch a lot of shows and read a lot of books and write a bunch of fics and it's not that i forget all the time it's just that i. don't do it? even if i want to

hmmm i don't wear that much jewelry but i guess if i did i'd wear rings ?? they're cool :D or necklaces maybe. most likely rings. for fidget.

what's something small you really want to do but haven't been able to for whatever reason? what's something big? do you like it when people ask for your favorite things as icebreakers? like, favorite color/favorite song/favorite ice cream flavor? what was your favorite children's book?

#🌵anon #radio silences #plu answers

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag???? #aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘 #love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop. #my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me??? #or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘ #imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so) #i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀 #sentencessss*

[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

#asks #anonymous #long post #anti-castlevania netflix #i guess #cw rape #cw holocaust mention #cw racism #cw holocaust #all of these are tags i didn't anticipate using on my stupid sideblog #i'll probably find a bunch of typos in like 12 hours rip me #but i feel bad for taking so long

[voxofthevoid]

Hii. Can i share an irrelevant yet interesting thing i observed? On twitter, mcu stans and writers & artists are segregated bc they mostly clash. Anyway, lots of stans see steve as bottom sometimes to the point of feminization, while for writers its the other way around-they do it w/ bucky. I have no problem either way but I'm just wondering why that is. Any thots? Feel free to ignore this hahaha its stupid but im really curious

Shit. Just realized how my ask abt the twitter stans + writers sounded. The clash has nothing to do w/ sex positions btw. Mostly mcu twt criticizes the "problematic content" & "fetishization". The most recent one I can think of is bucky being drawn in feminine clothes. Which is weird bc the way they talk about steve isnt different? Im just confused why theyre against bucky being seen that way. Sorry for bothering u!! Just wanted to clear that up. Pls ignore 😭 

---

Hi, anon! It’s not a stupid question at all, I understand the confusion about some fandom behaviors. Gods know I’ve got it too. I do have thoughts (and also thots but the pandemic has separated me from them).

So disclaimer: I avoid twitter like the plague, so I’m going by only what you've described, which is that there are two groups who don’t get along and both display the same behavior but one thinks the other is problematic for that behavior.

Now, this specific instance might be alien to me but the general gist of it is sadly very familiar.

(Also, I’m gonna be using ‘you’ in the general sense a lot in this. I’m not accusing you of anything described here, nonnie)

First of all, whenever fandom discussions segue into accusations of "problematic content" and "fetishization", you can stop unpacking and throw away the whole damn suitcase. In this particular case, if one side is saying that feminizing Bucky is fetishizing (how the fuckst even) while they themselves feminize Steve, then they’re hypocrites who’re clearly far less subtle about their double standards than most people who engage in this sort of wank.

As for why they act this way - from what I’ve generally observed, there’s a trend in fandom where it’s no longer enough to simply like or dislike something. You have to do it for woke reasons and moreover, you have to go out of your way to convince other people to also like/dislike it. This is baffling to me. I understand finding fandom friends who share your tastes. Common ground is fun, even - especially - for venting/bitching purposes. But those who go “my way or the highway” for all of fandom make zero sense. Not everyone will agree with your character interpretations and your ships and your likes and your dislikes. We’re all different people looking for different things from fandom.

For the most part, this is an implicit understanding in fan interactions, but for a while, things have been changing. There’s a lot of performative vitriol from certain sects of fans. Quite a few people act like your tastes in fiction define you as a person.

No. It doesn’t. If you hate Natasha, you’re not a misogynist. If you think Stucky is boring, you’re not a homophobe.

And to use the example you cited, drawing Bucky in feminine clothes doesn’t make you a fetishizer or a transphobe or whatever hot-button word people like to throw around when men are drawn in feminine ways. Drawing Steve that way also doesn’t make you any of these things.

But for a lot of folks, it’s not enough to simply say “yeah, I hate Bucky in a dress but I love Steve in one.” You have to do mental gymnastics to show why Bucky in a dress is fetishizing (once again, fetishizing  what) while Steve in a dress is a-okay. It doesn’t make much sense, as evidenced by your confusion, anon.

I got a little sidetracked but yeah, sounds like that's why what you’re describing happens. Basically, individual tastes are complex and can’t always be easily explained, but toxic fandom pockets have it made it so that these tastes can’t be expressed unless they’re accompanied by the ‘right reasons.’

That’s my two cents at least. Hope it helped? Feel free to drop by again if you wanna ask anything else <3

#anon #i love my anons #vox has opinions

[homosociallyyours]

Thanks for your answer. It still bothers me a bit because like I said your sexual attractions don't define your moral values. As long as I'm kind to everyone, don't discreminate or bully anyone, who I'm sexually attracted to shoudn't be what defines me. Sex is so low in my list of important things in life that I don't see why I should be judged for not being attracted to some people. What does it mean for asexual people ? 1/2

2/2 I mean just let people be attracted by who they want, as long as they aren't mean to others, I don't see the problem. I understand that saying things like "I'm not attracted by [any type of people]" can be hurtful and shouldn't be said, but that doesn't make bad people. Even if their distaste came from internalized shit, it's their problem and they will work on it, or not. One way or the other, no one should be judged over who they are attracted to, that doesn't define who they are as human.

--------

What I hear from you is that you’re frustrated with the idea that romantic or sexual attraction is an indicator of anything greater than itself and that judging a person based off their attractions is limiting. Also that it’s shitty to make sweeping statements about large groups of people without any thought on the possible nuance of individual lives and situations. 

And I do think the last line of the post does that, though I think reading the notes is really illuminating bc the OP has responded to a quite a few people and spelled things out a bit more (not changing the content so much but being more specific and shifting the tone a bit). Unfortunately tumblr has a very black and white nature, and grey area text posts don’t get as much traction because they’re often lacking an authoritative pov (imo) 

However, this is something that does feel a lot bigger than romantic and sexual attraction for a lot of nonbinary and trans folks, because to say one is not attracted to nonbinary or trans ppl can look/feel a lot like denying the personhood and identity of a nb/trans person. To say “I’m not attracted to nonbinary women” can feel like a dismissal of an important aspect of someone’s identity-- in this case, their womanhood. 

OK, so imagine you have a set of triplets in a room, three women who all share enough genetic material to look a lot alike and were all raised together so that the ways they interact with the world are very similar. One is trans, one cis, and one nonbinary. And if nobody told you who was who, there’s not a way of knowing. Assume they’re all femme, all with shoulder length hair the same color. and like. hospital gowns (unflattering sorry but i’m picturing a hospital). 

Of course you might end up being attracted to only one woman, and it could be the cis woman. And THEN I agree that it’s up to you how you deal with that or not as a deeper issue. 

But if this situation were real (thank god it’s not, this would be an awful scenario irl) and the person choosing was attracted to the nonbinary or trans woman, their options are either: recognize that hey, they maybe *are* attracted to women who aren’t cis sometimes, or to change their mind, saying they’re no longer attracted to the person bc they’re not cis. In which case-- you can be nice to trans folks all the time and generally a totally chill person, but that’s transphobia. 

Is it at the same level as people who dehumanize trans ppl with slurs and violence? No. But it’s still a bias and at the end of the day I do think that it makes it easier for more virulent transphobes to speak out and feel they have an audience. And it definitely makes it harder for nonbinary folks to feel accepted, speaking as someone genderqueer who struggled with it for a long time bc I thought I needed to be masculine of center to be nb.  

ANYWAY i hope that makes sense, and please know I’m not trying to say anything about you as a person. You know yourself, and you’re right that the onus is on you to decide how you feel about your identity and how it relates to other people. But hopefully this kind of explains how it hurts nb and trans folks to exclude them re: sexual and romantic attraction. 

#hope this makes sense #i think i used up all my brain power #so i can't answer more tonight #transphobia cw #Anonymous #answers #but your English was totally fine/i understood you i think! #this is a tricky topic tho obviously #glad to talk about it ♡

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

I have the headcanon that Luke is a Venus Legacy. She's very important in the Roman mythology. And there's more: he has the power to redirect Aphrodite/Venus magic,like firebenders can redirect lightning (very risky and a bit difficult, though). Okay, I'm so obsessed with those headcanons that I can't believe May to be totally mortal. On the top of that,Luke seems to be way above his siblings in power and skill,and we all know that mortals aren't much in Percy Jackson,with the exception of...

Continued. With the exception of Sally,Rachel, perhaps Frederick and Paul(that doesn’t bother me, though. I have (little more than) a bit of bias against the badass normal trope,in most cases. They want to pass them as everymen with cleverness,but I can’t buy someone like Ty Lee as an everywoman. Sokka is great, though). Frank is way more powerful than even Clarisse, despite his lack of experience. Is May that much of an snowflake to have a powerful demigod from an ordinary god?

Continued. Or is she a legacy? Okay,Luke is probably a perfectionist workaholic,so he gets the credit. But being strong enough to get to host Kronos’ essence? Sorry about the length and the anti badass normal rant.

BTW,I love your prankster/mischievous Luke Castellan. I usually am not fond of that kind of headcanon for him,since fandom usually makes him too much like Travis and Connor,and Luke is very different from his brothers (Percy himself even lampshades it). Besides,the whole “silent mischief” fits his personality better,IMO. Luke didn’t come across as a loud guy to me,and he seems to act responsible most of time(for good and for bad, though). 💗💓💝💓💓💓💓

hi there! thanks for being patient with me on this. been busy ;_;

under cut bc it got longer than i was expecting

i really like this idea that May is a legacy. it’s interesting you pick Venus, but given how good-looking Luke was described as and how charming (tho, that could reasonably come from Hermes bc con-ppl are often charming) it makes sense

not to mention, as you say Luke did seem more powerful than most other demigods, being able to take on the curse of Achilles, hosting Kronos, not to mention holding up the sky for however long he did. i think it was Chiron who mentioned that only the greatest heroes are able to hold up the sky, but Luke was so clearly on the wrong side, and Percy even notices that in the books, but it’s like…never explained???

so for him to have more than just half godly blood in his system would make a lot more sense than the “it’s complicated” explanation we’re given in canon

i really like that hc that he can redirect Venus magic (my mind first went to charmspeak) but that it’s difficult and dangerous. like it’s such a cool concept, tho i’m not sure how much it applies to Luke? like maybe that’s a skill that any child or legacy of Aphrodite/Venus would have, but Luke was unable to unlock that power, or at least the full potential

bc it’s just that, and i think it’s mentioned by Annabeth in moa, but a big reason that Luke fell into Kronos’ trap was because Kronos fed Luke a lot of what he wanted to hear, manipulated his thoughts and it’s implied by Annabeth that Kelli also had a lot to do with manipulating him by using charmspeak

like i guess if it’s difficult and dangerous, it would make sense that he was unable to redirect her charmspeak, esp with Kronos also manipulating his thoughts and emotions, but it doesn’t quite fit…tho i think that has a lot of potential to be a story arc regarding the development of Luke’s character, kind of like how it was for Zuko and lightning

but that would also imply, following Zuko’s story arc, that Luke eventually realized the error of his ways and joined the gods’ side

altho, it would be more interesting, playing off him being able to hold up the sky, despite not being the “hero,” if he learned how to redirect charmspeak but remained “loyal” to Kronos

anyway /tangent

i can see where you’re coming from regarding the normal badass trope. i’m not sure how well Rick executed it (if he even did) bc in my opinion, it’s not necessarily that Sally, Rachel, Paul, and Fredrick are what i would term as a badass. Sally can see thru the mist and Poseidon loved her so much he offered immortality. that speaks to her character, but isn’t exactly badass. Rachel is the oracle, but doesn’t have any combat skills to speak of. in en extenuating circumstance, Paul used his sword-fighting skills to help protect Sally and others, but i doubt he’d have much else use for swordsmanship except if he were to take up acting. like Paul, under extenuating circumstances, Fredrick piloted a plane and shot at monsters with Celestial bronze bullets he’d made himself, tho i imagine that’s as much action that plane is going to see for the rest of Fredrick’s life

the acts themselves are certainly badass, but it doesn’t necessarily speak to their character as being a badass.

now, of course, being a badass doesn’t constitute being able to beat someone up. Rachel throwing her hairbrush at the lord of titans is p badass. and sally charming one of the Big Three gods so much he offered her immortality, not to mention killing Gabe and his buddies indirectly, is v badass. so being a badass can take many forms, i’m not denying that

but it doesn’t quite fit what i see the trope being, as defined by society, whereby to be a badass, you have to have some combat and strategic planning skills or smth. i hope that makes sense

i guess this is all just more complicated than i was originally thinking, bc if badass can be defined in so many ways, so can normal?

you mention Ty Lee, right? now i haven’t watched a:tla in forever, but from what i remember of her character, i never actually saw her as some everywoman. she was friends with a sociopathic princess whose father colonized the rest of the world. that’s not exactly normal. i mean even taking away the sociopathic and her father part, she’s friends with a princess! that’s not exactly what i’d constitute as normal you know?

but it’s hard to say what’s normal in that universe, right? bc nonbenders, like sokka, are considered “normal” and average bc they can’t bend, when a majority can. and sokka is often talked abt like he’s “normal” but his tribe taught him how to be a warrior from a young age. his father went off to war, and his mother was killed by a firebender when Ozai began colonizing the other tribes. that’s not normal. even in that universe, bc the avatar is supposed to keep peace b/t the different benders

so it comes back to how society defines the trope, where normal is your average person (no special powers, no secret talents, just goes abt their mundane day at a nine-to-five and binges TV shows on Netflix when they get home) and badass is having that hidden talent (that they most likely don’t even know abt) or learning to be a badass as their character arc and as the story progresses

gosh, hope that all made sense. long story long, i agree with you that it’s a tired trope (in that we’re introduced to someone we consider and are supposed to think is average but, surprise! they actually have a hidden talent that turns them into a badass), but i think if done right, it can be really cathartic and exciting

/tangent 2

yes, i think being legacies definitely affords demigods more power, bc they have more godly blood. and you make a good point: why was Luke so powerful and special? esp as a son of Hermes. i think a reasonable explanation would be that he’s a legacy

by definition, tho, him being a legacy means that May is also a legacy, bc Hermes can’t have other godly blood from other gods with him being a god himself already (disregarding the fact that gods don’t even have DNA)

no worries! as you can see, i kind of went into some rants too!

oh thank you!! i’m glad you liked those hcs. yeah, i like to think that Luke definitely pulls pranks and enjoys it too! but the way he’s portrayed in the books, he’s much more serious than Travis and Conner, probably bc of the house he had to grow up in, being on the run at a young age, and then going thru so much heart-break and trauma before he even turned Travis and Conner’s ages. that ought to subdue you a little

so i wanted to make sure i expressed that in my hcs, long story long lol. i like to think of Luke, before Kronos and all that shit, as a fun and easy-going guy but in a quieter and more subtle way than Travis and Conner specifically

thanks again for sending these!! i love, love, love talking abt to ppl abt stuff. my inbox is always open!

FEED ME SEYMOUR

#oh god for shame! i do not even know your name #notesofananonymousnight #asked and answered #luke castellan #pjo hcs #pjo meta

[halfblood-fiend]

Imma throw you a curveball for ur kiss ask meme... sparrow @ kasha, either 7 (shut up) or 17 (distract), bc of course I'm gonna want some hilarity to insue

Oh Jesus, this was way too much fun to write while drunk. I love you? For giving me this??

This is set in a Modern AU world where I guess all modern brands exist (don’t @me) despite it being our Pathfinder characters (though, at this point, they have barely anything to do with tabletop).

From the Fifty Ways to Kiss Someone list

17... to distract

Expensive Tastes

“Wait.” Kasha lookedaround at their upscale apartment from where she lounged on the corner seat ofthe leather couch. The place was perfectly spick and span, not a speck of dustanywhere. She had been under the hopeful impression that maybe her brother,Trey, had just been inspired to tidy their usually messy place up. But the newsthat her very uptight and very nervous brother had just given her was throwingher for a loop. “Wait... here? Your date’s coming here?”

“Yes,” Trey replied,gesturing wildly. “I told you that! Itold you days ago and this morning.”

“You did?”

Kasha looked aroundherself again. This time, she noted the candles, the flower arrangements, thefreshly wiped down kitchen counters. She saw the bowl of fruit they’d never eaton the island, noted the intoxicating smell of a roast lamb in the oven, heardthe gentle simmer of the mushroom sauce on the stove, and then she saw thedining table, set for two.

Her eyes widened, andshe nearly sloshed her brandy as she abruptly sat up. "Oh! She's comingHERE!"

Trey, strands of perfectlystyled auburn hair coming as undone as his brain was, nearly jumped at her likea feral cat. “YES! FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS YES! So, GET OUT!!”

“Shit.”

Kasha downed the restof the liquid in her glass and leaped, lithe, from her seat. Trey rushed intoaction as well, picking her golden heels off the floor and throwing them toher. As she hopped from one foot to the other, slipping them on, Trey snatchedup her purse and dropped the straps into her free hand.

“Here, Kip!” Kasha called,shrugging the purse onto her shoulder as Trey stuffed her sunglasses into herhand next. “Careful! Those are Dior!”

“Leave Kip,” Trey saidtersely as he pushed Kasha towards the door.

“Why?”

“Because! I need him.”

Kasha stopped at thefront door and turned to squint at her twin brother who suddenly became veryfidgety. “You’ve never really liked Kip.”

“I do too.”

Right on cue, the terrierbounded around the corner and tried to jump up and put his front paws on Trey'sleg. Trey skirted around the claws muttering about Armani as he straightenedhis sports jacket. When he met Kasha’s quirked eyebrow, he sighed.

“Alright, alright. Ineed him for Sparrow.”

“Oh, you’re reallyusing that tactic—”

“Hey! I’ll use anytactic I can, okay? She likes dogs—loves dogs, actually so... please leave Kip.I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Kasha rolled her eyesat her dumb ass brother and sighed. “You know what else I think Sparrow likes,”she said as she picked off the only white dog hair that besmirched Trey’sperfectly pressed baby blue suit. “Authenticity.”

Trey scowled.

“You know what she won’t like?”

“I sense you’re goingto tell me anyway whether I resp—”

“Giorgio Armani.” Kashaflicked the lapel of Trey’s coat. “Seriously, drop all this shit you’re doingto impress her, like our apartment and the arrangements and the suit and thegourmet meal in the kitchen, and try just being your regular goofball self. I’msure she’ll love it more than the money, no matter what mom and dad said. Mostpeople in their right minds do."

“Duly noted. I’ll besure to start a food fight tonight, or something,” Trey muttered. “I’ll text you when she’sgoing to leave.”

“You mean IF she leaves—HEY-OH!"

He finally laughed, andKasha was glad the stick reamed up his butt had loosened just a little. “Niceenthusiasm, but no. I want this one to go well.”

Kasha’s eyes widenedand she batted her eyelashes at him. “All the more reason to keep her here,huh?”

The high-pitched trillof the doorbell made them both jump a foot into the air.

“Holy fuck, SHE’S HERE.I TOLD you—”

Kasha waved Trey awayas she opened the front door. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the worst sister—Hel-lo! Welcome, Sparrow.”

The woman from Kip’sdoggie daycare was familiar to her, but not quite like this.

Her makeup was done witha practiced hand Kasha hadn’t expected, winged eyeliner sharp and deadly, andher long scarlet hair, usually wild or in a haphazard ponytail was pulled backand styled in an updo that showed off her long, lovely neck. Her satin dresswas off one shoulder, the silver fabric that reflected brightly in her greyeyes wrapped around her tall body and fell in long perfectly arranged drapes toher knees. As if she needed any more height, black heels made her positivelytower over both Kasha and Trey, and Kasha wondered for a delirious moment ifthe beautiful giant would even fit through the door.

Kip barking happilybehind her broke the spell.

Sparrow’s face lit up,full red lips cracking into a wide grin. “KIPPIE! How’s my favorite Good Boy??”

Trey elbowed Kasha outof the way. “Sparrow! Please, come in. Don’t mind my sister. She was just. leaving.” His voice sounded higher than it should have been, but ifhe was as struck as Kasha had been, she could hardly blame him.

“Y-yeah. I'm goin’ outon the town, you know? Just...ha ha. Tearin’ shit up. As I do.” She snapped hermouth shut.

But Sparrow seemed notto have noticed. She had Kip in her arms the second she’d walked in the door,not seeming to care about how claws and satin don’t mix. She gave Kasha abreezy smile that made her stomach flip. “Cool. Sounds fun. I’ll watch your dogagain tonight, free of charge. Your brother, on the other hand, will cost you.”

“Ha. Ha.” Trey crossedhis arms, and tried to look offended, but his grin was too much to hold back.They were both like bursts of sunshine on rainy days, with just enough warmthto dry the ground before the clouds darkened and the rain poured all over again.

Kasha realized she hadbetter get outta here before she ended up staying just to bask in them both.

“Well. Better go beforethe night leaves without me. Have fun, you guys. Don’t burn down my house, Trey?”

“Wait,” Sparrow saidwith a frown. “Aren’t you going to grab a coat? It’s super cold out.”

“Oh?” Kasha paused andglanced at the entrance hall closet door. “Is it? You aren’t wearing one.”

Sparrow shrugged. “Idon’t get cold.”

“Oh, well in that case.”Kasha reached for the doorknob of the closet—

“No, wait—KASHA, NO!”Trey screamed.

As soon as she openedthe door, everything—and she meant everything—thatthe twins had had lying about their apartment spilled out of the closet;crumpled clothing, Kasha’s shoes, a pair of slippers, the Christmas tree theynever took down, all of Kip’s toys, the springtime wreath, Trey’s barely-usedgolf clubs...everything.

Kasha gawked at Trey,Trey gawked back, their guest completely forgotten for a painful heartbeat, asthey both grasped numb brains for how the fuckthey could salvage this.

‘Kasha! Distraction!”

“Got it!”

She looked around forsomething to do—anything to do! —as Trey sprang into action shoving everythingback where he had hidden it moments before.

“Uh. Uh??”

Sparrow was still in astartled state, though Kasha thought she saw the hint of a smile playing at herlips. Her beautiful, lush, kissable lips...

Kasha grabbed Sparrow’sface in her hands and brought the other woman down to her height and kissed herwith as much ferocity as she could muster.

“A-Guh—KASHA!?”

Just a bit longer,maybe just to smudge her lipstick, Kasha thought. Had Trey picked up his messyet? How many minutes had passed? Sparrow waswarm, hot even! And her mouth was as soft and lovely as Kasha had thought, evencompletely frozen in shock as she was. Just a bit more. Just so she couldremember and try not to be jealous that her brother might get to do thisforever and ever.

“KASHA!”

Breaking the kiss withSparrow was hard, keeping herself upright was a smidge harder. Her knees werewobbly, her legs wanting to collapse beneath her, the fit of butterflies in herstomach threatening to strangle her. And Sparrow, still bent, mouth half open,and a hand coming up to her lips, with Trey behind her, red-faced and comicallyhorrified, but whether from revealing his mess or from watching his sister makeout with his date, Kasha couldn’t quite tell.

She giggled,high-pitched, and head light from the kiss. She adjusted the straps of herpurse on her shoulder. "Um. Toodles," she said and slid out the frontdoor.

#Original fiction #Treysomel #Kasha'allen #Sparrow #Pathfinder AU #Modern AU #Sparrow is a dog sitter AU #I LOVE THIS SO MUCH?? #I was cackling the whole time I wrote it #I hope it's to your liking too #Trey x Sparrow #Kasha #Fiend writes #vaffaznculocolmpadrter #Fiend answers