#(At my fucking wits end)

[jellyjamheadobb]

#Staying silly :3 #(At my fucking wits end) #rey rambles #meme #memes #dumb shit #funny #relatable memes #funny memes #lmao #lol #best memes #twitter memes #tumblr memes #dank memes #humor #jokes #haha #mental health #mental health memes #depression memes #depression posting

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met' #and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more* #if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't. #so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN. #very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. #and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell. #ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi the suckening #arthur bennett #HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT? #LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT #this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page. #but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT #ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH #WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW? #ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME #DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER #HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW #AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE #I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much.... #AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game #but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping #DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds #I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors #what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012. #almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS. #only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE #while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs #THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN #WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS #the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess. #i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band #EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION

[moonpaw]

what's it called when you don't mind a ship at all and even see the appeal, but absolutely hate how most of the fandom portrays it to the point where you have to blacklist it

#not saying which ship it is but just know i am at my wits fucking end

[tomurakii]

I know I have a semi-popular post about how Gale would not have made a good teacher and that's why I'm so happy that it does happen canonically. It shows so much growth in him: not only does he learn to love himself regardless of his magic ability, that love extends to others. He can now educate students in the field of magic that has always clearly been his true favourite without being "irked by their ineptitude". He shares the art he loves and his enthusiasm, talent, and newfound patience make him a great teacher. With Tav by his side he becomes a happier, less guarded, more caring person and I can't think of anything better for him.

#hes also so cheeky ugh the teasing before the kiss followed by the fucking nose boop he is GORGEOUS TO ME #like it just shows how unburdened he is. we've always seen him dulled by the weight on his shoulders. his guilt. his uncertain future. #and its so lovely to see how free and full of joy and wit and sarcasm and jokes he is without all those burdens #plus I had always envisioned him becoming a professor alongside my galemancer tav Redeema so I am happy that thats the canon ending #they live in waterdeep together. gale teaches illusion at blackstaff academy and redeema teaches kids to FIGHT in the STREETS #bg3 #gale dekarios #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldur's gate #gale of waterdeep

[aceredshirt13]

having read nearly all of the Jeeves short stories, it’s so funny to me that Bertie’s bisexuality manifests as casting a wide but shallow net at girls and a narrow but ridiculously deep net at men. He thinks girls are pretty on a reasonably frequent basis, and has tried to marry at least four women thus far (not counting the unwanted engagements), but when it doesn’t work out he’s over it in 24 hours. Meanwhile he shows absolutely no interest in and never gives flattering depictions of 99% of the men in his life, but will praise Jeeves to anyone who will listen, wax poetic about his appearance (and get defensive on his behalf about it when a child insults it), and is absolutely inconsolable when they are separated.

(also Bertie is in no way allosexual. he is canonically terrified at the thought of reproducing. and due to the narrow but deep net on the other end I don’t imagine he’s going around sleeping with loads of men, either. that man’s either demi as hell or just entirely ace)

#red randomness #jeeves and wooster #bertie wooster #reginald jeeves #wooves #jooster #100 and up neat #finally determined my take on Bertie orientation and had to get the thoughts out #granted I have only read the first three short story collections + Extricating Young Gussie (re: none of the novels or last two stories) #so I can’t speak for the few stories following that or any of the novels #but this is my StanceTM #curious to see what that pastiche Jeeves and the Wedding Bells is like and whether or not it matches this #because if it’s focused on a Bertie het romance then I have trouble seeing it #he truly doesn’t seem invested enough in women for it to carry a whole book??? #they’re more like crushes or cheery whims #while Jeeves is so close to his heart that he can’t bear to be without him. a source of comfort as a person beyond just what the man does #side note there are two pastiches I’ve heard about that put Bertie with Bobbie Wickham and that sounds untenable lmao #Bertie would be at his wit’s end #also I heard she gets a guy later anyway?? and at this point Bertie’s already fallen out of love with her besides??? #truly the greatest sin of those two pastiches is separating him from Jeeves though. good fucking luck #it also sounds like the show is kinda different?? but I’ve never seen it #anyway I’m rambling without all the information so maybe this is total nonsense but hey!

[mutantfactor]

Till The End Of The Moon | Tantai Jin

#AAAAAAi am sorry i'M INSANE MY MAN'S INSANE everything's insane #😖😖😖😫🆘😨😰 #fucking hell the things i have seen AGAIN #i'm going absolutely crazy with this drama and with this man and you're gonna witness it #i have no words to describe how i feel about yunxi but you can guess just look at this shit #sry not sry please enjoy again #i'm gonna go and have a meltdown on the floor #till the end of the moon #tteotm #chang yue jin ming #cyjm #长月烬明 #tantai jin #ye xiwu #luo yunxi #leo luo #bai lu #cdrama #my:gif #mf tteotm

[mewtwo24]

Okay but like. Two things about the volume 8 statue [redacted] chapter.

Firstly. By god no amount of "yeah it was unhinged" comments on this website prepared me for whatever the fuck that was. I need at least 5 business days to process.

Second, was I the only one who read that scene as:

Hua Cheng, teeming with self-satisfaction to see Mu Qing near writhing with scorned disgust and fury: this was a 100% successful trip

Xie Lian: our statues are fucking in Mu Qing's palace oh god oh fuck what do you m e a n successful

Hua Cheng, smirk getting even bigger: this was a 100% successful trip

#tgcf #volume 8 spoilers #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #mu qing #hua cheng really out here like 'it's called christening the heavens with our love which is more than you lot deserve.' #nothing could have prepared me for how that scene played out #hua cheng how does it feel to win every single day of your deceased life #mf thought he was going to be humiliated in front of his lifelong crush/sworn love #only to instead watch one of his love rivals tangentially humiliated by XL's (hualian POST-COITAL) overwhelming spiritual power no less #I have never witnessed a bigger W in my life holy shit the way that boomeranged #I just can't get over how funnily hc's built I swear to god it ends me every time #mfer was born and literally nobody liked that. baby boy suffers for most of his life #fast forward to ghost hc. master of cataclysmic power and protecting his loving failwife (who is basically full of aged weird girl energy) #said weird girl energy being hc's salvation because xl saw him feral and unhinged and legit went 'i like him i'll let him tear up the couch #for 800 y e a r s hc pined and nourished his love--waiting for his opportunity #thusly leaving every single one of his competitors for xl's attention in the dust (not that they were much to write home about) #hc is like the definition of 'bide your time and fucking destroy' #i don't care what anyone says he's legitimately one of the coolest characters i've ever seen #i also can't get over hua cheng straight up being like 'xl in distress? we all know who this is a job for. M E' **builds hc statue** #without an ounce of hesitation #the way i love this mfer he's so sweet and so funny at the same time nobody doing it like him #i also love mxtx's passion for the dynamic of “GET RID OF HIM HE'S A MENACE” “no he just needs enrichment let him be" #why bingqiu and hualian will live forever in my heart

[themoonsbeloved]

I thought I was really gonna get this job since both my friends who work there put in a good word for me and now no ones sure anymore why their boss hasnt contacted me yet to confirm that he wanta to hire me and I'm so fucking devastated i just needed one fucking thing to go in my favour its like I'm asking for the entire world to sit on my lap when all im asking for is job security from a shitty third sector job with shit pay when I am overqualified for everything.

#I have a feeling im not going to get this job #im at my wits end #this is now 3 years ive not been able to find a job or stay in a job because people keep fucking me over #p

[coquelicoq]

crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot

#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass #1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere. #either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him #3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound #4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them #(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before #but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting #which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??) #5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important' #6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it) #& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later) #i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later #so they must be busy talking about something else. but what?? #that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #homura cats arc #horrible exorcists #my posts #sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because #sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru... #also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along? #also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses... #he has matoba's schedule memorized lol #natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~ #*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

okay, fuck it. let's talk about remorse. more specifically, the lack of it

there was a post going around a while ago that claimed that izaya couldn't possibly have aspd, because he feels remorse, and its simply so subtle that it's hard to pick up on, and he simply hides it to maintain his image. given that this post is a jab at me and my work, i feel no guilt nor will feel remorse over jabbing right back.

(especially since, if you pay attention to the wording of the post and OP themselves, it's clear that they had a... certain other neurodiverse headcanon for izaya, and was for some reason mad at me for having a different one)

(but i digress)

let's talk remorse.

first of all, the "lack of remorse" criterion isn't, as some might be tempted to think, the most important "hallmark" symptom of aspd. let's break down how disorders are diagnosed!

in the DSM, disorder symptoms are classed into criteria. these criteria are sometimes grouped together. here's the criteria list for ASPD in the dsm-5-tr, the most current version;

under group A, we have the standard "this is what the disorder is like, and these are the symptoms of it. you need X amount to have this disorder." the criteria listed in groups B, C, and D are on their own because they are required for diagnosis. if the lack of remorse criterion was truly SO important that it was the hallmark of the disorder, the one symptom that sets it apart from all cluster B disorders, then it would be in its own group like those 3 criterion! but it's not, because while it's the symptom most people associate with aspd, it's not the hallmark of the disorder, nor is it explicitly required for diagnosis.

in fact, the main Thing about aspd is, uh, right there actually- a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others. in layman's terms, aspd is categorized by a consistent behavior pattern of treating other peoples' boundaries, wants, needs, and human rights, as trivial. this overall behavior pattern is then identified by specific actions or feelings the patient has- hence the criteria.

i could end this post here, honestly- who cares if izaya does or doesn't feel remorse? it's not needed for diagnosis, and it's izaya's whole thing to violate the rights of others- he consistently treats people as his playthings, wether or not they want him to (usually not!) he disregards others' feelings (the suicidal girls come to mind wrt this) and is incredibly reckless with both his life and the lives of others. it's kind of a done deal!

but i won't because i have more to say!

so. izaya. remorse. he feels it, but keeps it hidden. he represses it. and honestly, he always has some justification or another for whatevet it is he's doing. his targets had it coming because they're monsters. or stupid and cowardly. or had it coming. or it doesn't matter because he's a god amongst men. BUT- he does feel remorse! ASPD cured!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys i hate to tell you this, but i've felt remorse before. sparingly, but i have. i am a Person With ASPD from Real Life, i've been diagnosed professionally and even had multiple second opinions check and re-check, to the point that it became a running gag. i, without a shadow of a doubt, have antisocial personality disorder. And I Have Felt Remorse.

(my verdict is it sucks and is terrible and i have no idea how you people do it. yall need like, medals or something)

because, as you might have noticed... a lack of feeling remorse isn't actually the only thing listed. now, a lot of websites don't actually list the second half of the criterion, they just say "lack of remorse" with no elaboration. it's hard to find a website with the proper informatiom on it, especially if you haven't read the dsm to see the full criteria list, so you don't know what you're looking for. truly, i don't blame laypeople for not knowing this- it's not easy to find short of going to the source itself

but if you're writing long posts filled with "facts" about a disorder that you do not have, you better make damn sure your facts are right lest you spread misinformation.

(hell, i HAVE the damn thing and i make sure i'm as accurate as possible, because i acknowledge that Having The Disorder isn't a ticket to immidiate expertise. but imo it's especially egrigious when you don't have it)

but, the criterion itself is defined as "being indifferent to or rationalizing" harmful actions. Or Rationalizing. you can feel remorse as much as you want, but if you stomp it down with justifications about how you were right, it still counts!

and finally, the name of the game with diagnosis of any disorder is consistency. if someone can make their abuser cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's not aspd. that's just a special case. if someone can make anybody cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's aspd.

similarly, if someone can make most people cry because of them and feel no remorse, with one- or maybe two- exceptions, that's... still aspd. because the behavior expressed most consistently is a lack of remorse. one or two exceptions to the rule don't suddenly make you not have aspd, especially if you have multiple other symptoms. (in fact, in some aspd circles people do talk about having "exceptions," kind of like the aspd version of a pwBPD's favorite person. pwaspd feeling remorse or otherwise not meeting criteria in incredibly specific circumstances is in fact a documented phenominon. once again, this happened to me and i've been diagnosed multiple times over. were all those doctors wrong, or does aspd just not work like you thought it did?)

izaya consistently represses most of his more vunerable feelings. that's another one of his main things. if remorse is included in this, which it would be given the pattern, then izaya most consistently does not feel (or otherwise accept) remorse. a few slips of the mask here and there, where he can't stomp it down or ignore it, don't change that the most consistent behavior from him is a lack of remorse. in fact, him feeling remorse here and there makes the portrayal of aspd more realistic, imo-

people with aspd are still people at the end of the day, and aspd is just another mental illness. people are varied, mental illnesses present differently in everyone, and people have good days and bad days where symptoms are more or less pronounced. any symptom isn't going to be set in stone in severity or even presence in someone's life- severity of disorder changes with age, someone's circumstances, or even day-to-day, especially with cluster B disorders, where the people who have it are defined as being "dramatic, emotional, or erratic" (pg 735)

things change. people change. mental illness isn't as simple as people think, and aspd isn't as different from other illnesses as you'd think. people with it- including izaya- will have their good days and their bad days and their rare moments where something breaks through the clouds and for one moment, you feel normal, however distressing the feeling may be

that's not proof that the illness was never there. that's just life with it!

#durarara #izaya orihara #orihara izaya #the moral of the story is; don't vauge me just bc you headcanon an Anime Boy with autism and are butthurt that i have a different take #and more facts backing me up. oops did i say that out loud o me o my #waposts #please please please be FUCKING normal on this post im begging you. im at my wits end #i do not care if you are a criminology student studying at the aspid crushing factory. ask yourself this- #WHY DOES IT MATTERRRRRR this is all over a Head Canon why is it so bad that i headcanon izaya with aspd #that you feel the need to like. defend his honor or something #anyway yeah. im gonna go eat dinner im hingry

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

has anyone else noticed the android being weird lately

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #art #illustration #redacted love #redacted asset #ets #redacted project meridian #project meridian #my fucking discord got hacked and i lost 7 years of messages im furious about it #and support is useless #ik thats how it be sometimes but im sad i've lost access to all my childhood servers and stuff #:( #anyway something something james is playing god because marcus made him lose control of project meridian #and hes at his wits end juggling work and not being divorced lmao

[grassfedfemme]

daensa agenda propaganda posters just dropped who’s joining

#sometimes it’s actually ok to use ai when it’s for lesbian purposes btw 👍 #like don’t stone me pls i know its ai art is not art & is a sham #but it's for a higher purpose grrm must bear witness to the power of the daensa agenda & ensure the correct ending is reached in winds #i'm just here sowing my seeds being a puppetmaster playing the long game ok #the ends justify the means or whatever the fuck they say #sansa stark #daenerys targaryen #daensa #asoiaf art #asoiaf fanart #a song of ice and fire #theirs is a song of ice and fire btw if u even care

[luck-of-the-drawings]

FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.

#cw gore #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #chip jrwi #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE #CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER. #HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I #EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND #AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY #YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN #THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN #CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION #bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain.. #thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive. #and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN #AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up. #neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...' #RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this... #the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT #better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO.. #I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible #i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!

[wingedcat13]

Synovus: Villains Never Retire (3)

[Another day, another installment, another piece of evidence I can't resist a good monologue. Warnings for this week include more graphic descriptions of drowning, 80s TV references, and Synovus putting their foot in it. Repeatedly. See you in part four!]

[New here? See the start of the series or a part you missed here. As per usual, this chapter is also up on Ao3.]

‘Moping’ is, in your opinion, a highly underrated art form.

There are those who prefer the drama of the romantics; sighing and draping themselves over surfaces in elegant dismay. There are the hermits: creating a den and retiring to it until someone is brave enough to drag them, kicking and screaming, from a pile of blankets and misery. There are the students of the tantrum, who follow the subject of their distress in a very not-purposeful-certainly-not way to be pointedly fine or vaguely annoyed in their periphery.

You ascribe to none of these three schools. No, when you are upset, you become a spider.

Not literally - shapeshifting has never been one of your gifts - but in nearly every other way. You scuttle away from interaction with others, create stashes of supplies in hidden spaces, and watch the world from a dark corner or rafter.

You’re usually willing to admit it’s a bit of a juvenile response, to go brood and watch your minions at work. It’s never stopped you, though.

Your minions are used to such behaviors - enough that even if one of them does manage to spot you perched twenty feet up on a steel beam, they don’t acknowledge it. If you don’t move for more than four hours, sometimes they’ll send someone to make sure you haven’t died.

(Usually, it’s Oflok. She throws snacks at you to make sure you’ve eaten something. If they get really worried, they send Doll to try and coax you down.)

(Doll is still on vacation, so you figure you can get away with this for two more days at least.)

At least you aren't vying for space - neither Alexandria nor Minerva seem to share your proclivities. You haven’t seen either often: it’s easier to move from one room to the next via the maintenance hatches than to risk an awkward confrontation when you do spot them.

(No, you aren’t hiding from your guests in your own home. That would be ridiculous. You have nothing to be ashamed of.)

Still, there are signs that neither has quite forgiven you for what they’d learned at the meeting, now three days ago.

You'd passed through the training room yesterday to find it absolutely trashed - the dummies shredded by a sharp point, and a spear lodged in one reinforced wall. Minerva, then.

Your birthday gift to Alexandria, a custom Lego model of the ancient library she’d named herself after, is still sitting partially constructed in your lair’s library - meaning she hadn’t worked on it in several days. You’d helped her with the early stages before getting sidetracked by explaining some of the various theories you’d heard over the years about potential relics recovered from it or supposed secrets it was burned to conceal.

Personally, you were considering taking up knitting again. Or perhaps embroidery? It would depend on how much you felt like stabbing something.

---

It was while you were trying to recall how to properly set a purl stitch, that you finally overheard something you shouldn’t’ve.

You’d settled into the cross of two support beams in the mess hall to work on it. Between your costume and the fact that you were up above the hanging lights, it wasn’t even necessary to use your shadows to hide. Even the yarn you were using - a very deep purple- wasn’t likely to give you away, unless you dropped the skein.

Below you, a few of your minions were gathered at one of the tables, talking again about the turmoil on the mainland while they played cards. None of them seemed worried, exactly, just… slightly unnerved. You weren’t really focused on following the conversation.

You did hear, however, when Rosie stood up from the table and called, “Doll!”

You paused in the process of carefully undoing your last failed stitch, and leaned forwards to get a better view. Yes, that was Doll, half-jogging up the steps. He wasn’t due back for a few more days. You had a sinking suspicion you knew why he was back early.

“Rosie!” He returned, spreading his arms wide for a hug. There were a few moments of overlapping greetings and welcomings, his nickname interspersed with his real first name, Andrei. Chairs were shuffled, cards were reshuffled, and then he was dealt into the game.

“So.” He asked, as the group finally settled, “What’s got all of you so worried, hm?”

There was a mass exchanging of glances. Some of them were directed upwards, but none of them spotted you. You couldn’t see Doll’s face now that he'd sat down, but you could hear the slight grimace when he said, “If you cannot speak of it, you should have called me back earlier.”

“It’s not that,” Heather murmured, shaking her head, “it’s… well, we’re not entirely sure either.”

Theo was stretched out on a bench, rather than playing. “Syn got called to another meeting.”

“They are retired.” Doll said, as though that were an answer.

Heather shrugged, “I don’t think they were expecting it either. Anyway - Menace went with them.”

“She’s okay.” Rosie clarified, before Doll could stand. You could see her lay a hand on his arm from here. “No one was hurt. But Athena went with them, too.”

“In the new costume Syn made.” Oflok was definitely grinning. You contemplated throwing a knitting needle at her.

“That sounds like a good thing, rather than a…” Doll trailed off, making a vague circling gesture with one hand.

Rosie sighed, “Well, it would’ve been. But none of them have talked to each other since they’ve been back.”

Heather shook her head, “I’m used to having Syn destroy a training room every so often - but if Athena keeps this up, I’m going to run out of training dummy materials.”

“And Alexandria’s been spending most of her time in the sky, too.” Rosie noted. “And that’s after she’s weeded the garden for me and dug a new irrigation channel.”

“And Syn?” Doll asked.

“Skulking.” One of them mutters.

Doll laid his cards down. “Angry-skulk or emotional-skulk.”

You aren’t sure which they would’ve answered (and were slightly mortified they talked about this enough to have a commonly understood difference), as, about that time, Alexandria drifted up over the railing of the stairway.

“Doll!” She cried, smiling broadly.

“Menace!” He returned, just as cheerfully as he had when greeting Rosie. He stood to go offer her a hug - and didn’t notice or care that Oflok swiped his cards as soon as he turned away.

“I didn’t think you would be back for a while.” Alexandria said, once she’d gingerly extricated herself from the hug.

Doll shrugged, “What can I say, hm? I missed the sun.”

Alexandria chuckled, but her heart wasn’t quite in it. She moved forward, towards the table, and out of your line of sight. “Doll, can I… talk to you?”

There must have been some exchanging of glances or other signal, because your minions abruptly dispersed.

Oflok stood first, dropping a hand onto Heather’s shoulder and declaring, “I need someone to cut things. You’re helping.”

Theo, eager to dodge the same fate, had swung upright, “Oh, hey, that update should be about finished.”

“Fair Lady, those carrots should be about ripe. Want me to see if I can find ten of them that are ready?” Rosie offered.

“Better be at least twelve or don’t bother.”

The three of them moved off towards the kitchen, bickering about how long a carrot needed to be to be useful for whatever Oflok was planning. Theo ambled out a side door, and caught two more who might’ve otherwise wandered in.

When the door had closed, and it was just Doll and Alexandria (and you hidden in the rafters), you heard Alexandria say quietly, “I didn’t mean to drive them away.”

“You didn’t.” Doll assured her, “I did. I just got back from traveling, and I don’t want to have to move from this chair.”

Alexandria made no response to that, but she did sit.

There was a beat of silence, while Doll gathered the cards everyone else had left behind, and reshuffled them again out of habit.

"Why did you kidnap me?" Alexandria asked.

Doll sounded relatively unruffled as he replied, "Because Syn asked me to."

"Asked?"

"Told, if you want to be specific, but I could have refused without much trouble. They don't force us to do things, to work for them."

"Why did Synovus want me kidnapped?" The corner of a light blocked her face, but you could see one hand curled into a fist, resting on the tabletop.

"Because we needed to keep your parents busy for a few hours." Doll continued shuffling the cards, occasionally fanning them or bridging them in tricks that you knew were a sign of anxiety. One of few tics and tells he had.

"Why did you need to keep Athena and Legionnaire busy?"

Doll hesitated, and Alexandria added, more heatedly, "And don't tell me you can't talk about it, I know about the deal with Gray Gangster."

"If you did, you would know why." Doll returned, sounding annoyed. His tone gentled as he continued, "You should really ask Synovus, if you want the full story."

"No thanks. I want the truth, not to be lied to." There was a bitterness there. You managed not to flinch.

Doll set the cards down, and folded his arms. "Alexandria. What is this really about?"

"What do you mean 'what is this about'? This is about why I was dragged out of my bed to an island in the middle of nowhere, essentially as bait!"

"You have had over a year to be upset about this." Doll remarked. "And while I do not mean that you cannot be upset about it - I would be, I think - I mean that I think there is a reason you bring this up now, when you haven't before. A reason it is eating at you."

There was another moment of silence, which you silently interpreted as a staring contest. Alexandria must've lost, because when she spoke again, it was quieter.

"Is all of this... did Synovus do this just to.. to get at my parents?"

Your grip tightened on the knitting needles until you could've snapped them in half. Of course that's what she would've assumed, but your own stupid promises -

"Fuck no." Doll said, and he sounded like he was trying to downplay how offended he actually was. "We kidnapped you to preserve the Right of Rivalry, sure, but after? That was never part of any plan."

"That you know of." Alexandria countered. "They could've -"

"Let me make one thing clear for you, Alexandria." Doll said firmly, "You are right. It is entirely possible that Synovus had plans none of us knew about. Half the time I don't even understand the plans they do explain. But if you ask me a question and then counter it with hypotheticals, I don't think you cared about how I answered at all."

Another silence.

Doll sighed, "Synovus is not a kind person." He said. "But they are not a monster. The difference is that their mercies are invisible - because they are almost always a matter of restraint."

That, at least, prods a bit of curiosity out of Alexandria, "What do you mean?"

Doll picked up the cards again, shuffled them one last time, and began to deal. "You went to a meeting. Who all was there?"

"Tallflawes, Gray Gangster, Dr. Wraith, Unwritten, Chanter, Galactic Prodigy, and two people with wings I didn't recognize."

"Ibis and Vulture." Doll supplied, "That's most of the usual set. You are an observant girl. Why would so many powerful villains gather in one place?"

"Mostly, it seemed like they wanted to argue about territory rights."

"And why would they do so, peacefully?"

Alexandria shrugged, "Because it's in their best interest to, I guess? That way they don't waste time fighting each other, and can better hold off any heroes who come for them?"

Doll hummed, "You are forgetting something. Every supervillain, and that is what all of those people are, has an ego larger than the moon."

Alexandria snorted.

"They don't make concessions well. At least, not publicly. Not to each other. And most of them are worried about getting stabbed in the back on a moment's notice."

"They seemed pretty well organized, from what I saw. Tallflawes must be pretty intimidating when she wants to be."

"Tallflawes?" Doll paused, in the way he normally did when raising an eyebrow and expecting you to reconsider your statement. "No. Tallflawes did not create that structure. Synovus did."

"Synovus?"

"I know - they seem so anti-authoritarian most days. And you'll notice there is no official leader to that group, only whoever winds up hosting. For a long time, that was here."

Alexandria seemed to turn that information over. "They said something... I asked about the rules, and what happened if someone broke them."

"Synovus happened." Doll agreed. "I've seen it, once or twice. It's not a pretty thing. But they were warned, and a threat isn't a threat if you never follow through."

"When we got there, Tallflawes said something about, about saying words and living them. Rosie said something like that, when I was here before?"

"'If you cannot hold yourself to your oaths, I will.'" Doll recited. He shivered, "I have never worried about Synovus turning on one of us. But I admit... I do sometimes still have dreams about that day. Dreams I'd rather forget."

"So then... all of the Rights, the meetings, all of it... was because they were scared of Synovus?"

"Not all of it - most of it just made sense, like you said about the not wasting effort. And not everything is ritualized either. Villains aren't big on rules, as a whole, you know?"

Alexandria confessed, "I was kinda surprised they had so many."

Doll shook his head, "There are only three. The Right of Parley, which is the agreement for a ceasefire at meetings. The Right of Privacy, which means that if you try to steal someone else's secrets, they can retaliate without consequence. And the Right of Rivalry."

"Which is... Supervillain dibs?"

"More or less. It keeps them from stepping on each others' toes. Imagine if more than one group had showed up at your house that night - chaos!"

Alexandria had a card in hand now, and was slowly turning it over, cycling it against the tabletop. "Doll." She said slowly, "Is that... almost what happened?"

Doll sighed, "If it had been Gray Gangster's men at your house that night, Menace, it would not have been to kidnap you."

"You mean they would've...?"

You had had enough of hiding in the rafters. "He had plans for a bomb."

Both Doll and Alexandria flinched and looked up. You took the time to stash your knitting where it wouldn't fall, then dropped down.

"He had plans for a bomb." You repeated, "And wanted to know if I thought it would work on Athena and Legionnaire. Because he had a prison break planned, and they couldn't be allowed to intervene."

Neither of them could see your expression behind the helmet, but you didn't bother trying to hide the weariness in your voice. "He had plans for a bomb, and he was only bothering to tell me, because they were my rivals."

Alexandria looked somewhat upset to see you - though that might've been because of your 'entrance' - but she wanted the answers more. Enough she didn't turn and leave, at least. "But he didn't use it."

"No." You agreed. "Because I told him that I had plans of my own for that day, and if he interfered with them, I would tear him apart. And when he left, I scrambled to find something that would make it true."

There was another moment of silence. Just as it would've stretched into uncomfortably long, Alexandria spoke again, "So, what you said about Rosie, before..."

"That part is true." You confirmed, "It was just happenstance that the doctor was in the same prison. But I had sworn not to talk about Rosie's cancer with anyone, and until she released me of that oath, I couldn't even tell you that."

“And now?” Alexandria challenged, raising her chin.

“In my more foolish youth, I swore never to disclose what happened at our meetings to anyone who had not attended one. And don’t start about my not saying something earlier, you’re the one who flew off without a word, to me or your mother.”

Alexandria made a frustrated noise, and a few hand gestures like she’d like to strangle you. That wasn’t an uncommon sentiment when people dealt with you. Call it a gift.

After another heavy sigh, she made a motion as though physically pushing something to one side. “Okay. Whatever. I’m still mad.”

“That’s fair.”

Alexandria regarded you suspiciously. “You never break your oaths?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“How many times has that happened?”

That was an unpleasant memory. “Once.”

“Will you swear an oath to me?”

In a way, this had been inevitable. “That depends on what you ask of me, Alexandria.”

She watched you for a moment. You almost wondered if she could see, somehow, past the helmet, to the mixture of despair and resignation on your face.

Carefully, as though each word was specifically selected, Alexandria asked, “Will you swear to always tell me the truth about your rivalry with my parents, and how it relates to me?”

On reflex, you ran through all of the potential outcomes of this situation, all of the things you might be forced to disclose, every oath you’d made that might conflict with it.

And, very softly, hating that you could not even offer her this, you said, “No.”

You tried not to see the hurt on her face as you turned away.

—-

A few hours later, it’s Rosie who finds you this time.

It’s a mark of your bad mood that you don’t come down to talk to her once she’s made it clear she’s looking for you. Resolute, she just finds a ladder, and joins you on one of the wide beams over the workshop.

You’d left your knitting in the mess hall, and hadn’t gone back to retrieve it - so you’d spent most of your time mentally rearranging work desks and plotting projects that you knew you’d never be able to pursue, now that you were retired.

Still, you don’t leave. And part of you keeps track of Rosie’s progress so she doesn’t fall.

“Stuck with the short straw?” You drawl as she finally settles.

“Synovus.” Rosie frowns, “What the fuck.”

“What?”

“What. The. Fuck.” Rosie repeats. “Are you doing.”

“Waxing philosophical about my own impotence.”

“I don’t give a crap about that.” Rosie says dismissively. “What are you doing about Alexandria and Minerva?”

“I -“

“Because whatever it is it isn’t working.”

“That’s-“

“I like them.” Rosie says defiantly. “Both of them. I’m upset that they’re hurt.”

“Well, that’s-“

“Fix it.”

And with that declaration, Rosie swings her leg back over the side, and makes her way down the ladder.

Groaning, you knock the back of your helmet against the wall.

—-

You find Minerva down by the water.

In an attempt to signal peaceful intentions, you made yourself dress in something other than your costume. You left your face uncovered, and ensured you were wearing something that could stand being dragged through the sand in case this conversation went poorly.

Minerva, it turned out, was in the Naiad suit - which you wanted to take as a good sign. It could also have just been that she still had few clothes of her own here, though.

(You’d offered to send someone to purchase clothing for her, or retrieve clothing from her house. She hadn’t wanted to tell you where she lived, now, and you didn’t want Alexandria to go alone into that chaos. Between the extensive closet you rarely used and your minions’ donations, she’d amassed a small pile of loans.)

You caught her coming in after a swim. She caught sight of you when she was still knee deep in the gentle surf of the inner bay, and froze, staring at where you stood on the beach.

You hold out one of the two drinks in your hands and called over the waves, “Smoothie?”

Minerva doesn’t respond. After a minute or two, in which neither of you move, you sigh.

You take a sip from one of the smoothies, bending the straw to claim it as yours. Then you place both of them on a disc of summoned shadow, solidified enough to hold them, and levitated off to one side.

“Alright.” You call to Minerva, “Go ahead, drown me or whatever.”

“Would anyone weep, if I did?” Came the icy reply, and you grin.

“I hope not.” You respond lightly, “My funeral is to be a strictly no-crying zone. Only celebrations, and dancing upon the coffin.”

“Is that how you live with yourself? Everything a joke?”

Your grin fades. “Only myself, dear Minerva.”

The waves stir, a new current introduced. You try not to react to it. Minerva’s warning is venomous, “I’m not your ‘dear’ anything.”

Slowly, you turn your hands so that the palms are facing up, showing that you are not gathering your shadows. “My mistake.”

“The only reason I have not killed you,” Minerva tells you steadily, “Is because you’ve been, somehow, good for Alexandria.”

The waves are rising now - little tiny whitecaps as they froth over, still no higher than her hips when they crest.

“You sound as though you are reconsidering.”

“Even too much medicine becomes poison.”

It is a struggle, not to bare your teeth at that and taunt her. You close your eyes, rather than risk letting her see them swirl black.

After a few heartbeats, Minerva demands, “Well?”

You open your eyes again, powers held tightly in check. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“I don’t want you to ‘say’ anything.” She growls. “I want you to give up on this charade of civility. Of charity.”

You stiffen, “Have you a complaint about my conduct, Lady Athena?”

She hisses. Oh, you should not have used that name. But it is too late now.

The waters of the bay shiver, and part. Suddenly, there is a clear path of damp sand between you and Minerva, as the water rises at her urging, summoned into shapes.

You take a step back.

“Go on, Lord Synovus.” Minerva takes a step forwards, and you can see a glint in her eyes, even if you can’t decipher it.

Wary, you take another step back. “Minerva. I know my word doesn’t mean much for you-“

That’s as far as you get before the first torrent of water slams into you.

It’s strong enough to take you off your feet, but instead of simply flattening you to the sand, it drags you further into the water. You had the briefest moment to take a breath before being dragged under - only to have it knocked out of you.

The force of the current pulls you in a kind of desperate cartwheel, while you scrabble for purchase in the cursed-soft sand. Saltwater stings your eyes and your nose, and a small voice in the back of your mind remarks, quite calmly, that you probably deserve this.

You can’t really address that though, because the vast majority of your instincts are screaming at you to save yourself; either in a mix of frantic animal instinct to orient and kick and breathe or the trained instinct of a super, to orient and kick and hurt before you can be hurt further.

Luckily, Minerva doesn’t seem to be genuinely out to kill you. At least, not immediately: you surface before you’re forced to suck in water, sputtering and coughing, in water up to your waist.

Resigned, you drag one hand through your hair and use the other to wipe excess water from your face. You glance around, trying to find and track where Minerva is, where the next attack may come from-

The answer was your ankles, naturally.

A current as strong as any riptide twines around your ankles and shins, yanking fiercely and suddenly, and causing you to go face-first back into the water. You struggle, because you cannot help what you are, but you keep a death grip on your powers. If you reacted now, by instinct, you are not sure how much damage you would do.

Again, you are spun until you lose all sense of direction, and again, you surface with barely time to breathe. Now you are treading water, and the babbling fear in your heart insists that if you don’t do anything, Minerva will sweep you out to sea and leave you to drown.

The part of you that has always survived, the part that became the Scourge of the Western Seaboard, classifies things much more coolly. There are several things you could say or do to make this stop. Several ways to return the sense of fear or pain.

You choose none of them, and instead take another sharp breath before you are once again pulled under.

But you are beginning to fear that you will have no other option, if you want to come out of this alive.

The next time you are allowed to breathe, you realize Minerva is shouting at you. Probably has been, but you’ve been a bit busy drowning to notice.

“-you took my family from me!”

You open your mouth to try and respond - just as you slip beneath the surface again.

This time, there’s no helping it. You choke on saltwater and brine, and the automatic response of your body to try and force it out only makes you inhale more. You should be focused on trying to reach the surface, but the animal panic has only risen, and it’s taking everything you can muster to try and keep the energy inside of you from exploding - as shadows, as light, as something raw.

So instead, you sink. And another current grabs you. And you have just enough time to think that it’s a shame Minerva will only kill you now, when you are no longer rivals.

And then you are slammed into the shore, and the water leaves you alone.

You spend several moments coughing up or vomiting seawater. You are drenched, and everywhere you are drenched, the sand sticks to your skin, clothes, and hair, in a gritty paste that stings worse than the saltwater. And yet, you are alive. For now.

When your lungs feel as though they’ve been scraped raw, and you’ve had time to catalogue the deep ache that is already spreading through your body, you look up to see Minerva, still standing in the water. She looks imperious. Cold.

And maybe you’ve suppressed your survival instincts too much today, because when you force words out of your mouth, what you say is, “Are you done?”

Minerva’s expression takes on a sharper edge, and she might have killed you for real (and you wouldn’t have fucking blamed her at that point) except for the blur of movement that slams into the sand between you.

You throw up an arm to shield your eyes from the spray of sand. When you risk lowering it, you recognize the admittedly-blurry outline as Alexandria.

“Oh hi menace.” You mutter in a small voice that might not actually have made it to full words.

“What the fuck!” Alexandria yells, looking back and forth between you.

“Language.” Minerva says automatically, proving you aren’t the only one with a faulty autopilot.

“What the fuck.” Alexandria repeats, just as emphatically.

“We’re okay.” You wheeze, and this time you’re fairly confident those are audible sounds.

Judging by the incredulous look Alexandria gives you, you must not look okay.

Minerva must have come to the same conclusion, because she comments, “You look like a drowned rat.”

“And whose fault is that?” Alexandria demands, rounding on her mother.

“And here I got all dressed up just for you.” You half croak, half croon.

There’s a very brief pause of dead silence between the three of you, before Alexandria turns back to you again.

“Did you make a pass at my mom?”

“What-“ the force of your own outrage is enough to send you into another coughing fit.

“Because if she’s beating the stuffing out of you for hitting on her, I’m just going to fly away again.”

Minerva has one hand over her eyes, “No, that’s not- that’s not what's happening here.”

“Well then, what the fuck.” Alexandria repeats, but this time it’s more plaintive than anything else.

Intentionally or not, it breaks the worst of the tension.

She glances at where you’ve devolved into another round of dry heaving (not due to the implications, simply due to the near drowning) and sighs.

Kneeling next to you, she pulls a bottle of water out of the small pack you hadn’t noticed she was wearing, and offers it to you. After a few carefully measured sips, you feel like you can talk again. Not that that means you should, but since when has that stopped you?

“Thank you, Alexandria.” You say politely, and don’t bother trying to stand. You do manage to scrape yourself into a sitting position, however.

There has to be a way to resolve this. Something you can offer, a bridge between where you both currently stand. Some kind of reassurance?

“I swear.” You say quietly, “That I do not mean either of you any harm.”

Minerva snorts, but Alexandria sits back on her heels. She’s frowning as she watches you, her head tilted, as though there’s something she can almost see behind your eyes.

You hold her gaze long enough to underline the sincerity of your statement, then look to Minerva instead. “You don’t believe me?”

“No. I don’t.” Minerva answers, folding her arms. The waters around her have begun to return to their normal state, but there are still signs of agitation. “Why would an oath matter to someone who’s killed hundreds? What I believe is that it’s a feint. Tell someone over and over again that you never break your word, when it’s properly given, and they’ll eventually put their guard down.”

You can’t really fault her for that belief, it’s certainly the kind of trickery you’re capable of. Known for.

“Why do you put so much emphasis on oaths?” Alexandria asks.

You lift one hand helplessly, “Because, at a certain point, it becomes all that you have.”

Alexandria pointedly looks around at your island.

“I don’t mean like that - yes, I have plenty of material wealth.” You correct. “I mean in the… not quite moral sense. I am..” You hesitate again, choosing your words carefully.

“I am a liar. A traitor. A villain. I have no goal, no ultimate aim, but I don’t seek sensational pleasure or wealth either. I ascribe to no religion. I commit atrocities. And I have a considerable amount of power at my disposal.”

You take a sip of the water again, while Minerva sighs, “If you’re just going to brag, Synovus, you can skip to the point.”

“The point-“ you say with a glare, “is that it would be very, very easy for me to fall into an aimless chaotic melancholy. But a promise, an oath, those are things that are so very easy to break.”

“Restraints.” Alexandria murmurs.

You try to find the words to explain, “There isn’t a - a sign of some kind, a pop-up message that tells you if you’re about to betray someone’s confidence or break a promise. You have to know. And so yes, I am very careful about what I promise myself to, because if oaths stop mattering to me…” You shrug, “What will?”

“They make you stop and think.” Alexandria reasons, and you nod at her, grateful that one of them understands.

“And, of course, this leaves us only with your word, to take on faith.” Minerva notes sourly.

“Trust me or don’t.” You snap, because these are explanations you have never given anyone else, and you are raw on the inside and out. “You live in my house. I’ve spent years saving your life. I nearly let you drown me in a temper tantrum. I’ve never lied about who or what I am-“

You go to gesture, out of habit, but only succeed in jarring the arm holding Alexandria’s water bottle. It knocks you out of your tirade, at least.

You look down to avoid looking at Minerva, and focus on breathing. You grimace are the grime you’ve smeared on the bottle. In measured tones, you say to Alexandria, “I would offer to return this, Alexandria, but… allow me to make a suggestion? I’ll keep this, and you can have my smoothie.”

You gesture in the vague direction of the disc of shadow, still floating patiently. “Or your mother’s, if she’s still refusing my peace offerings.”

For a moment, you think Alexandria is going to refuse. She’s pursed her lips, and still seems unsatisfied with the whole endeavor.

“You sound like you’ve been gargling seashells.” Alexandria remarks, even as she stands to go retrieve the drinks.

Minerva is staring at where they’re levitating, perhaps remembering your offer, but - no, not the drinks, the disc. She’s staring at the slim oval of solidified shadow. The proof of your abilities, that you hadn’t lost hold of, even while drowning.

You… honestly are a bit surprised it's still there yourself. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, but apparently in forcing yourself not to change how your powers were being used, you’d inadvertently preserved the disc too.

“I lose control of all sorts of things.” You tell her, hoarsely. “But never my powers. Never.”

You intend for it to be reassuring - that you will never use your abilities against her or Alexandria in anger, that you are willing to allow yourself to be drowned if it means a chance at reconciliation.

Instead, Minerva’s face closes off even more. You realize, much too late, that it could be taken as an accusation instead. Mockery, as she had seemed so afraid of before she told you about her name, her uncertainty.

There was the hero, who had nearly drowned someone who refused to fight back.

Here lay the villain, painted as the martyr.

You lunge to your feet, reaching out as though you could catch her by the wrist, find some way to explain - but she is gone, into the water where you cannot follow, before the second syllable of her name has even cleared your lips.

There’s a frustrated noise from beside you, and you turn long enough to see Alexandria’s glare.

“Even dad never made her that mad.” She accuses.

The depths of that blow must’ve shown on your face, because Alexandria takes a step back, and looks momentarily uncertain.

“Thanks for the smoothie.” She says, and walks down the beach before taking to the sky again.

Eventually, you trudge back up the hill to your lair alone.

—-

You pass Rosie in the hall. She stops to stare at you, in all your sand-encrusted glory.

“I’m working on it.” You growl at her.

She doesn’t say anything.

—-

The next morning, you are woken by the whumpf of a teenager with super strength flopping into your bed. This, due to the laws of ‘Synovus being startled’ if not the laws of physics, results in you briefly experiencing flight about a foot and a half off the mattress.

“Good morning.” Alexandria says cheerily.

“Augh.” You reply, through your pillow.

Merciless, she finds the remote necessary to start clicking through what you have available on streaming services. She’s been really into a murder mystery show from the 80s recently - sure enough, you recognize the distinctive pattern of its opener a few seconds later.

“I’ve forgiven you.” Alexandria informs you.

“Mmpf?”

“I still don’t like it, and I’m not saying you’ve got full license to do it again or anything, but like. I don’t know. You’re a supervillain, of course you have secrets. I just don’t like when they involve me and I don’t know about them, you know?”

“Mmm.” You concede.

“Anyway, I realized that I could also keep secrets now.”

You roll over enough to crack one eyelid at her. She grins. You shrug. It’s her life.

Her attention is rapidly absorbed by the plot of the episode, and you go back to dozing.

And for a little while, everything feels alright.

—-

When you wake up for real, Alexandria’s on a different episode, and has an empty glass on the table beside her that still bears marks of a smoothie.

“Decided you were a fan?” You ask, gesturing to it as you start the process to drag yourself out of bed.

“The fruit here is much fresher than I’m used to. And Oflok might be magic.”

“Oflok is definitely magic.” You agree, and go to scrape yourself into the shape of something presentable.

Once you’ve curried life into your limbs and brushed away the last vestiges of sleep, you return to find that Alexandria’s swapped away from her show. Instead, she’s now clicking through news feeds.

“Was it the doorman?”

“Nope - he was framed. It turned out to be the neighbor.”

“Hell of a way to lodge a noise complaint.” You muse. You nod at the screens, “So, what’s the damage?”

“Bad.” Alexandria answers frankly. “The group we met before - the one you put in the hospital and the other two who left? They’ve staked a pretty big claim on Southern California, and actually seem to be able to enforce it. A few capes have disappeared closer to Seattle, six different people have claimed to know why, but there’s no evidence.”

She clicks through to a different channel, “Oh, and it’s a free for all in Death Valley.”

“We do love our sense of irony.” You admit. You scan the displays for people you recognize, signs of actual trouble versus someone looking for fifteen minutes of fame.

Something at the bottom of the screen catches your eye. “What’s that about? An anti-retirement petition?”

Alexandria grins, “Apparently a lot of them want you to come back.”

You are aghast. “Why?”

She shrugs, “A single tyrant is better than a super powered gang war? One person they interviewed said that at least you had class.”

“Clearly, I should’ve blown up a few more buildings before I retired.”

You watch the newsreel for a few more minutes - that petition has over 3,000 signatures, which is frankly ridiculous - before Alexandria asks, “Did you know this would happen? When you retired?”

You sigh, and readjust the pillows you’re now leaning against. “I expected something like this.” You admit. “There’s always a power vacuum. My retiring left a fairly large one.”

You squint, “I did think it would be more resolved by now, instead of escalating. Maybe I should’ve faked my death instead.”

“Would that have really made a difference?”

“If someone had claimed to kill me, they could’ve pushed to inherit all of my territory by right of conquest.” You point out. “The trouble with my not actually being dead would’ve made it more difficult for anyone to make an unarguable claim though. Maybe not.”

“Why did you retire?”

You frown, and look at her with disapproval. Alexandria only shrugs, “Hey, I can ask. Didn’t say I expected an answer.”

“I… know what it’s like to have super powered parents. Guardians. Life administrators.” You concede reluctantly. “I didn’t want that for you.”

“Awww.” Alexandria says, one hand over her heart. “You think you’re my parent.”

“Don’t make it weird.”

“You made it weird by existing.”

“Touché.”

There’s a brief pause, as a commercial comes on that distracts both of you. In addition to its general absurdity, you have no idea what it’s for until the end, when it pivots to the intended product with a complete non-sequitur. You mock it together.

“You know, you don’t talk about them much.” Alexandria notes.

“My choice in toothpaste brands?” You ask, raising a brow.

Alexandria rolls her eyes. “Your parents.”

“Correct.”

“Sore subject?”

You rise, and stretch. “Just not much to talk about. They’re both dead now. Have been for a while.”

“I’m sorry.”

You laugh, and it’s more of a bark, “You might be the only one to say that about one of them. But I appreciate the sentiment, little menace.”

Alexandria makes a face at you. “By the way.” She says casually, “I’m going to fly to the mainland later. Want anything?”

You are, perhaps, too glad to change the subject to be appropriately suspicious. In hindsight, that will have been purposeful, and you will appreciate the maneuver as much as you are frustrated that it works.

“Some sort of non-chocolate candy, so it doesn’t melt in your pocket.” You poke her shoulder, and head past her into the hall.

“I’m going to bring you back a single jolly rancher.” She yells to your back.

—-

Later that day, after Alexandria’s left, you get a text message from an unknown phone number.

Not Unwritten, who does admittedly go through phone numbers at an alarming rate, but a genuine, never-texted-or-called-before number.

UKN: Hey, Syn? It’s Menace.

UKN: I uh. I may have dropped my phone on the flight over.

You stifle a snort.

Syn: Noted.

Syn: I will presume any further messages from your number are instead from a particularly enterprising cephalopod.

UKN: Why do you assume an octopus?

Syn: Octopuses are dope.

UKN: Sometimes talking to you is like talking to a thesaurus.

UKN: Sometimes you hit me with ‘Octopuses are dope’

Syn: I contain multitudes.

Syn: Pre-paid cell, I presume?

UKN: yep.

Syn: Don’t lose this one until you get back to the island.

Syn: … also Doll says hello.

UKN: hi Doll!

You wave Doll away before you can become an intermediary for a text conversation. He gives you a baleful look, but goes back to his current task: teaching you to play ‘the dungeon room game.’

He tells you it’s actual name several times, but you like yours better.

—-

“Doll. Doll. Andrei. I’m telling you, it doesn’t make sense.”

Your minion has his head on the table, as though not watching you will in any way spare him from listening to you.

“This economy - its terrible, Doll. In what - in what world is a custom made signet ring cheaper than a mass printed book?”

“In this one.” Doll says weakly.

“Bullshit. Two gold for a signet ring - you said one copper is the equivalent of one American dollar for vague estimations, and multiples of ten to class up, so that’s $200 for a signet ring, fine. But then -“

You recheck the book, and your math, just in case, “twenty-five gold for a book?!? If it was a spellbook or something maybe I’d understand but - Doll that’s two thousand dollars. That’s worse than textbooks.”

With disdain, you shuffle the papers in front of you, until you come back to the one with the ‘character goals’ box. You add ‘become bookstore mogul’ to the list.

Doll has rolled his head on his arms, enough to peer at you. “You’re going to be a rules lawyer player, aren’t you.” He says morosely.

“Not at all. I’m - what was it, neutral evil? Neutral evil. No law to be found.”

He sighs, and sits up, “Alright, if you are finished mocking the fictional economy, we can look at backstory-“

You are not, in fact, finished mocking the fictional economy, however you don’t get a chance to continue to dismantle it either. Instead, your phone vibrates.

At first, you assume it’s Alexandria, giving you a heads up call so she doesn’t set off the klaxons. But Doll frowns and reaches for his phone as well, and the screens in the room flip on.

Each screen - from the oversized one you used to play D.D.R. for Alexandria’s birthday, to the smaller screens still locked behind cabinets, to both of your cellphones - plays the same video. A live camera feed, depicting two figures you recognize for their insignias, if nothing else.

Dymania - you still think of them as 'ringleader.' The one with the white patterns, that's Jester. Clairvoyance and teleportation, with a side of potential emotional manipulation.

"Boss?" Doll asks. You hold up a hand, still taking in the details of the video.

"Someone wants to make sure I see this." You murmur. "Let's find out why."

They're against a wall, so you can't tell much about their surroundings (metal, large panels, industrial?) but the camera is steady and stays in focus (tripod, high quality capture and broadcast, no one holding it. Not completely amateur) as Jester steps forwards and declares,

"Citizens! It's been a while since you've heard from us direct, hasn't it? I'm terribly sorry about all of that, but it's only because we were waiting to have a proper show for you all."

Dymania, the calmer of the two, falls easily into pattern. (Rehearsed? Pre-recorded?) "The current upset must be such a burden for those of you who would prefer to return to life as normal. Nevertheless, rejoice - for we are closer to that calm prosperity you so desire."

"Not everyone agrees with that philosophy though." Jester chimes in, rocking on his feet. The energetic enforcer to the calm mastermind. "For example, try our visitors from earlier today. At first, we thought they were here to stir things up, but..."

"They've been kind enough to volunteer instead. To serve as examples, that we might sooner reach our goals."

"And to demonstrate that we do believe in equality..." Jester closes to the camera, and the view changes - not in the blurry motion of a camera spinning or the sharp cut of spliced footage, but in the blink-and-done of a transfer from one feed to another.

Your heart drops. You feel cold. You are conscious, barely, of Doll's sharp intake of breath, of a cry from further down the hall where this must be playing, of the shadows that are twining around your limbs and the humming of the light in your bones.

Jester's narration continues, cheery and jarring and signing a death sentence with every word, "We've got someone from all sides for you! Civilian, government, military..."

The three people kneeling with their hands bound do not interest you. But beside them, there are two more, one in white and gold, and the other in matte black.

"Villain... and Hero."

One of them is Athena, and that alone would hurt.

But the other?

The other is Menace.

You are going to end the world today.

#synovus #synoverse #Villains Never Retire #The ending will be happy I promise #Guess the TV show and I'll give you a shoutout in the next installment #which will be the last even if its 3 times as long as the rest #'brevity is the soul of wit' #fuck off I weave masterpieces with wit's extraneous bobbles and bits #and yes #I do still type most of these on my fucking phone.

[zhongrin]

why does this eczema keep flaring up on different spots i don't understand i've changed all my soaps and used special lotions and even bought cotton-only clothes gods i can't deal with this 😭😭😭😭😭

#rin rambles #how do yall deal with the itchiness oh my god #would hydrocortisone creams help #fuck man i've never had this my whole life and suddenly this happens WHAT HAPPENED 😭😭😭😭😭 #did the doctor make a wrong diagnosis or something i want to perish i can't concentrate on anything sobsob #i absolutely loathe the sticky lotion feeling i am at my wits end