I don't have the confidence to write it, but eeeurgh I'm being haunted by skk daemon AU
No one at the ADA has ever seen Dazai's daemon, and he always gives 'mysterious' answers or jokes when asked. A lot of people just assume it's small, like an insect, and learn to ignore it. Sometimes interacting with Dazai can be hard, their own daemon awkwardly standing around, unable to connect their hearts. Every interaction with Dazai has a shallow feeling. He kinda creeps regular people out.
Chuuya's daemon never really seemed to suit him. Any time he met new people, there would always be a split second where they paused when they looked at chuuya's daemon. It wasn't scary or concerning, just...off somehow. Like a puzzle piece you can make fit but doesn't line up right with the picture right.
The thing is- Chuuya doesn't actaully have a daemon. Dazai left his daemon with Chuuya when he left. Chuuya doesn't even remember his daemon... if he ever had one. (more fuel to the poor guys' clone trauma)
I'm thinking crow for the daemon, very smart and capable animal, and it seems to suit Dazai.
But I've also thought of an... elephant. They're smart too, but also the sight of Chuuya using his gravity to float his daemon up to the window of whatever building he's in so they're not left out makes me want to cry laugh. You always know where Chuuya is because of the fucking elephant floating outside the building. Chuuya's even more powerful in this AU from constant practice floating the elephant and having to deal with more attacks because people always know where he is.
I've also thought of a bat, but more just because Chuuya would look so fucking cute with a bat hanging off his hat taking a nap.
Still not sure if the daemon should be male or female.
Dazai has always kept his daemon at arms' length, physically and metaphorically. He separated from his daemon at a very young age. Seeing dark era Dazai without a daemon made him even more terrifying.
Dazai hates his daemon. He never seemed to feel comfort from his daemons like others did, he never seemed to feel much of anything around them. His daemon could be even more stoic then him. Daemons were supposed to be beings of emotion, the manifestation of your heart. So Dazai resented them. In his worst moments, he even hurt his own daemon himself just to feel
s o m e t h i n g.
But Dazai was right- his daemon is the manifestation of his heart. His heart is just so hurt. It can't hide like the human half of him can. So his daemon is very quiet and avoidant. Dazai hates that vulnerability being on display.
But there are some times that Dazai feels through his daemon. And that's when Chuuya touches them so gently. Chuuya is absolutely fascinated with daemons because he never had one. Dazai was never one to uphold boundaries or social rules, so he practically goads Chuuya into touching his daemon after an accidental brush one time. He's reminded that he even has a heart, because it feels warm, not just numb. Chuuya loves his daemon so much. Chuuya's touch is so addicting its terrifying, but it chases away the crushing apathy for just a moment.
So when Dazai leaves, he leave his daemon with Chuuya. Chuuya's so panicked at first, what does it mean when someone gives you their heart but still leaves you?
So he loves and cares for Dazai's daemon like Dazai couldn't. And Dazai's heart and mind finally start to heal.
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Mpreg soukoku for the soul part 2✨️🫄🧑🍼
Dazai and chuuya have been seeing both more and less of each other since that night
More because Dazai has been taking his new job of protecting chuuya very seriously, albeit with some jokes around here and there
And less because chuuya has been overcompensating at work over a flaw his boss doesn't even know about. By taking in extra missions, he's making it up to mori in hopes that fate will go easy on him when he can no longer hide his belly
Kouyo has also been going on more missions with chuuya as well. Even on missions where her presence was not needed
All this makes chuuya feel uneasy, he knows something is up. One afternoon, on their day off (chuuyas day off, dazai just didn't come into work that day) the two of them were on either side of the couch in dazais apartment, which is nowhere near as large and fancy as chuuyas, but they like it there.
Dazai is reading a book on omega male pregnancies while chuuya tries to read a book of his own. However, something was on his mind
"Hey, dazai" chuuya asks. Dazai lifts up his book to look chuuya in the eye. "What's up?"
Chuuya doesn't speak for a second. He doesn't even look at him. With his eyes focused on the ceiling where a fan is slowly pacing around its axis, he asks him a question
"Do you and kouyo have...something you want to tell me?"
Dazai sits up, putting his book down on his lap with a confused expression on his face
"No...why?"
Chuuyas grip on his book hardens as he grits his teeth
"Don't fucking lie to me" He growls
"Huh? Chuuya what do yo-"
"I said don't lie to me!"
Chuuya erupts from the couch in a fit of rage, a kind of rage dazai has never seen before
"I know that you two have been eyeing me like crazy! Helicoptering me like I'm some dumb little child! I'm not weak! Stop treating me like I am!"
"Chuuya calm down-"
"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean i-"
"Doesn't mean what, chuuya?!"
Dazai's sudden outburst catches chuuya off guard.
"Chuuya I have spent my whole life by myself. Everything I love keeps being taken away from me. And now that I have something valuable, something like you, you think I'd just let it go that easily? You think I'd just play willy nilly with its soul? Your wellbeing is much more important to me than mine and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And you don't even appreciate it. No "thank you dazai" no "you're so sweet dazai" it's always just complaining with you! Sometimes I even wonder if you love me at all!"
A hush falls over the room.
"Dazai, i-"
"Save it. I need some air" He fixes the collar of his coat and leaves the apartment
Chuuya is left alone, just like he knew he'd be
But this time it wasn't all dazais fault like it was before. Back then he could easily blame him for everything, for leaving, for abandoning him, for all the pain he caused. But now? This is all on chuuya. Maybe if he had been different, maybe if he was less....like himself, dazai would be happier to be with him
And now not only is he alone, but so is his future child. He puts a hand on his stomach as he looks down, a sorrowful look on his face.
"I'm so sorry little one...." He whispered to it.
Meanwhile, dazai walks down the dark streets of Yokohama as the rain showered him in despair. He doesn't mind his coat getting wet, it's seen worse
He heads into a local bar and takes a seat in a booth, alone with his thoughts. He doesn't know how long he's been in there until a man joins him in his booth.
"I knew you'd be here" kunikida says as he takes a seat across from him
"What?" Dazai asks, begging him to cut to the chase. He's not in the mood to talk.
"Heard about you and chuuya." Kunikida says as he takes a sip from his glass
Dazai sighs. "Sometimes I think I'm the only one who makes an effort in this relationship, yknow? I know we have history but, is that it? Are we just staying together because it feels familiar? And now we've got this kid and....I just....I don't know...."
Kunikida let's him finish talking and waits a second before starting
"You want my advice?"
"I'd rather have that drink in your hand"
Kunikida hands the glass over to dazai "i think you two are toxic as hell"
Dazai makes a subtle surprised look
"You both think you're doing the most while the other does the bare minimum. You both think the other has horrible qualities. You both find each other familiar. But you stick together despite it all. Maybe that's not just because it's familiar. Maybe you stick together because you know it's right. What I love about your relationship is that you can say whatever you want to each other and the next day you're still there. Plus, given the type of person you are, he probably had to deal with just as much. You're perfect for each other because you two are so goddamn imperfect that it just fits. A broken glass only stays together if the pieces that broke fit."
Dazai didn't expect to take any of kunikidas advice. He was planning on barely listening and just leaving him to pay his tab. But to his surprise, he got to him
Dazai gets up from his sadly slouched position and sits up properly, giving kunikidas words a lot of thought. He traced the rim of the glass with his finger. It was funny because he was doing the same thing in the same booth at this very bar, when he had his first drink witj chuuya
They were both still in the mafia back then, only about 15, when they took down a small group of thugs that were robbing the bar. Not for any righteous reason, though, the group had just been a big pain in the Port Mafia's trading business by stealing months worth of products so Double Black were sent to get rid of them
Chuuya was having a particularly bad day that day, and his anger let him do most of the fighting. Meanwhile, dazai got bored and distracted himself by examining an old looking bottle of brown liquid
By the time chuuya was done, dazai had started calling him over
"Oi! Chibi! Check this out!" He called
"I'm right here next to you you don't need to shout!" "Says the guy shouting right now! "What do you want?!"
"Check this out" dazai said, showcasing the fancy old bottle
"Scotch? You think you can take that?" Chuuya asks
"Oh and you can?" Dazai rebutted
"Please, I grew up in tje slums, if we were thirsty it was either this or the shit-infested water down by the creek. Give me that" he grabbed the bottle right out of dazais slender hands and took a swig out of it
He immediately regretted it as tje moment the liquid entered his mouth and went down his throat, tje boy coughed and gagged, choking on the horrid flavor, much to dazais delight
"Oooh look who can't handle a sip of a little alcohol! Mister Slumlord Gangster!" He teased as he took a confident gulp of the same drink
The feeling was intense. Words his little 15 year old mind couldn't fathom its flavor. In mere seconds he was a coughing, gagging mess just like his friend over there
Once their lungs had settled, dazai took a look at his unfriendly companion. It was only now that he realized how similar they actually were. Just two messed up teenagers barking way too big for their bite and projecting their insecurities on each other. But at least they did it together
"Um, sir?" An unfamiliar voice asked
Dazai snapped out of his trance to look up at the waiter
"Were closing now, sir. Please come back tomorrow"
Dazai and kunikida walked out of the bar to be greeted by the rain.
"You do some thinking for once, okay?" Kunikida said as a parting gift as the two of them went their separate ways
Dazai thought about chuuya the entire way home. As he entered his apartment, he realized, wait, isn't chuuya supposed to be here?
He looked around the small area and saw no sign that he was even there. The place was as he had left it, minus chuuyas things.
It wasn't like he was moving out, he had never moved in in the first place, but something about how empty the place looked without him just didn't feel right.
He figured he had just gone home. Taking his phone and dialing his number, he thought about what he was even going to say. How do you have an outburst like that and just leave? What are you supposed to say after that?
Dazai wasn't going to admit he was wrong. Was he wrong even? He didn't know. But maybe this was something he could work out with chuuya
Chuuyas phone rang, causing vibrations that went around the side of his pants. He took it out of his pocket and examined the small screen, making an uneasy face as he realized it was dazai. He took a second to imagine the pros and cons of answering, but after a few seconds the ring tone was bothering him, so he decided to do it anyway
"Hey, i-"
"Listen. I'm sorry about what I said, but I don't think it was wrong. We both have flaws and I think our relationship is strong enough to work through that. I'm sorry I yelled, okay? Please come back so we can talk about this."
"Dazai, I'll talk to you later, I'm at work." "Oh right. Sorry. I'll talk to you later"
Tje call ended and chuuya put his phone down.
"Call from the hubby?" Mori asked, turning around to face chuuya as he walked
"Yeah, we just got into this big fight, it's no big deal. And hey, he's not my husband."
They were walking down one of the many hallways of the Port Mafia headquarters when they stopped in front of a small empty room
"Not married, I see..." . Mori said witj a smile, watching chuuya walk ahead of him into the room.
"That's gonna change after you have the baby, though, right?"
Chuuya turned to face mori with eyes big as saucers
Before he could say anything or make a move, a thick layer of glass appeared to separate them, or mostly just to keep him inside. No matter how much he kicked or punched or manipulated his way out, he still couldn't make a scratch.
"You must've thought I was a fool to think I wouldn't find out" mori said
"Boss! I can still work through this! I can still be useful! I promise!"
"I don't need another mouth, chuuya." Mori shrugged off his statement as he slowly walked away
"You and your child are of no use to us now."
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https://www.tumblr.com/alexbutrandomthoughts/749469599665405952/random-ask-who-are-your-favorite-romantic?source=share
Hello, I'm the one asking the above.
Then can I ask (if you don't mind, of course) your top 7 fav gay ships, top 4 fav straight ships and 2 throuple ships ? It's okay, if you don't wrote the reasons why... I know how it feels as multishipper myself....😶
Okay so this took me way longer than it should have SORRY IT WAS HARD TO CHOOSE
Da Gays:
1. Soukoku (been with these fuckers for too long)
2. Satosugu (dark horse that went up the ranks fast)
3. Sakuatsu (somehow collective fandom delusion convinced me)
4. Kavetham ("and they were roommates" at it's finest)
5. Reddie (2018 was a year)
6. Hualian (if a man doesn't search 800 years for you does he really love you?)
7. Lawlight (I'LL MIMIC HIS WORDS AND LEARN HIS ROUTINE AND FEEL THE SAME THRILL WHENEVER MY END IS SERVED BY HIS MEANS-)
Default setting:
1. Twiyor (this is such a slowburn god help us all)
2. Jinmao (THIS ONE IS WORSE AT LEAST THOSE TWO ARE MARRIED)
3. Hananene (just cute innit)
4. Eugene/Rapunzel (fuck knows if they have a name but i love them)
Three way:
1. Rentaro/all his gfs (technically not a throuple but dang i loved that stupid ass show and laughed all the way through)
2. AppleJack/Rarity/Rainbow Dash (sometimes i cannot be certain who AJ would be with so yknow. Might as well)
Honorary mentions:
Bubbline (used to be my obsession back in the day)
Raeda (Lumity was too wholesome i needed those exes to lovers)
Bokuaka (literally canon change my mind)
Mikayu (i knew from the second i saw the op they were gay)
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤
:o i see !!! its rly funny to get this atm actually i just was going thru my ao3 adlkjfad
ok so these are in. no particular order. but it is rly funny to me bc typically the fics that i love that i've written are the least popular of all of them! which isn't a bad thing, but it's an odd phenomena. anyway.
taste of fear; - 17,286 words, complete, role reversal tanizaki au, Bad Things Happen and homie has to join the port mafia for a little while. kind of tachizaki. kind of not. they spend a lot of time at each other's throats.
i rly love this one because i just really love tanizaki and tachihara, man. i've said it before and i'll say it again. tachihara is my favorite. and i love the idea that tanizaki - sweet, unsuspecting, anxiety-ridden but clearly unstable - is able to see past his guise as a mafioso because tanizaki knows fakes and there is nothing about tachihara's words that are genuine. plus, i really really love the hair-dyeing scene with gin and tanizaki's talk with mori.
apple of my eye; - 21,031 words, complete, jouno backstory + suegiku
i think i'd be lying if i said this didn't feel like my magnum opus ngl. i really love this fic. i think it balances out jouno's sadistic tendencies + his fascination with tecchou + his moral compass rly well and it in general feels like smth someone way more talented than me wrote bc. i just. i love it !! definitely Earned its content warnings tho.
drink me down, save me later; - 5,736, complete, kousano + angst w a happy ending
fics that i think shld get more love and i get its wlw and also angst with a happy ending and so it does not get Any attention comparatively but i rly liked this one !! it was my first time writing both kouyou + yosano not just as a ship but as characters, and i think i got them down well ! kousano,,, i love them. i think they could do soukoku better than soukoku but they never get the time of day.
homebound (my peace of mind is my piece of you); - 5,608 words, complete, tachigin, hurt/comfort
tachigin... holds SO gently. i don't write as much tachigin as i shld, but i wrote this one based off of fanart w permission from the artist and. ough. i rly love the way this turned out. i dont rly remember the specifics but i remember being very proud of it and i Know it holds up and it deserves more love.
beyond saints; - unpublished & unfinished, but it's sitting at like 3k. fyolai + fyodor backstory.
i consider this fic my fyodor backstory fic and much like my jouno backstory fic, it has earned its content warnings! i constantly have to step away from it 'cos it's Heavy yknow but i am still really proud of it and i can't wait until i finally manage to finish it because then i'll have written anything with fyodor (and i don't really understand him, which is why i started this one) and i think it'll end up like 20k or so, if i do it right.
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