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eardefenders · 4 months

Text

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 1 Transcript

00:00-00:30 Intro Music

*Typing Sounds*

0:36 Sherlock: What are you doing?

0:37 John: I’m collating the questions from the fans. Ah-well, d’you know actually they might not be fans. They might just. *pause* I don’t, I don’t know, listen, but, uh, ah, you know not actually, you know-

0:48 Sherlock: -Like you?

0:49 John: What?

0:49 Sherlock: They might not actually like you.

0:51 John: Us. The show. Anything. What do you mean ‘not like me’? Why would they not like me?

0:57 Sherlock: Well…you can come on a little strong…sometimes, I suppose.

1:02 John: In what way?

1:03 Sherlock (voice slightly high): You’re just, rather, keen. (voice normal, reassuring even) Nothing wrong with that of course.

1:07 John (sarcastically): Oh, great, thanks.

1:09 Sherlock: That’s something people add after making a crude observation on another’s character.

1:14 John (warily): What is?

1:14 Sherlock: “Nothing wrong with that of course.”

1:17 John: So you just added it because you thought-

1:19 Sherlock: It would soften the blow.

1:20 John (sarcastic): Lovely. Very kind.

1:23 Sherlock (clearly missing the sarcasm): Quite alright.

1:24 John: Okaaay, we got some Q’s from the L’s, and now its time for us to provide the A’s. That’s, uh, that’s questions from the listeners and for us to provide the answers.

1:36 Sherlock: Yes, I cracked the code, Watson.

1:39 John: Right! So! Beau from California wants to know where they should go when they visit London.

1:44 Sherlock: Er, sorry, uh, I thought this was about crime?

1:47 John: Whaddya mean?

1:48 Sherlock: I thought there would be questions regarding criminal activity?

1:52 John (lightly sarcastic): Oh, right yeah, sorry. Um, there is one here from ‘PsychoMurderer69’ who wants to know if he should stab his next-door neighbor.

1:58 Sherlock (seriously): What’s the length of the blade he’d have access to?

2:00 John: Jesus Christ.

2:00 Sherlock: Does the neighbor show signs of possessing any self-defense skillsets?

2:04 John (interjecting over Sherlock): Alright, no, where should Beau visit in London, please?

2:09 Sherlock: Um, uh, St. Dunstan in the East. Little Venice. Spitalfields. Brick Lane. The Vaults! Neal’s Yard is rather charming as well, I suppose…pleasing colors on display.

2:20 John: Right, great. Colors. See, that wasn’t difficult, was it?

2:23 Sherlock: South Kensington Ice Rink.

2:25 John: Yeah, lovely. I- Sorry, where are you going?

2:26 *Sound of door opening.*

2:27 Sherlock: I just said.

2:27 *Audio Cut - Vaguely outside sounds.*

2:28 John (sounding like he’s struggling to balance): Heeey, folks its, woah, woah, Ja-ah,*sound of skate blades scraping deeply in ice* Jesus, aw, bloody hell, ahahaaah Christ. *sounds of the mic rubbing as he presumably falls down, a sharp intake of pained breath* Ahh.

2:35 Sherlock (sounding at ease): Get up, Watson.

2:36 John: Ah, oh yeah, thanks for the advice. Uh, um, hey folks-*under his breath*ah, God- Sherlock, can get *sounding unsteady on his feet* easily distracted when he’s not w-w-what’d’you call it. Uh. Totally onboard with something. So he wanted to *sounding unsteady again* go ice-ce skating. Uhum *clears throat*, uh there’s a-a rink. Temporary rink open in South Kensington right now so we’re skating- hey-oh, ooo-getting up some speed now. Oh here we go. Ha ha hah! God is this what Canadians feel like? Oy oy! *laughs proudly*

3:10 Sherlock: Very good, Watson. You’ve got the hang of it.

3:11 John: Hahah, yeah well I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m not smashing my ribs into the ice, uh, for the time being. So-woah! Shit!- *clears throat* Right! Another question!

3:21 Sherlock: Go for it.

3:22 John: “What are your favorite hobbies?”

3:24 Sherlock: *with relish* CRIME. Deductions. Observations! Intricate studies that focus my mind. Feeding my hyper fixations, which often stem from crime and the desire to understand it.

3:37 John: …Riiiight. Yeah, I think the listener Sherlo8 in Poland, uh, I think they meant more like, um, you know, I don’t know. Golf?

3:48 Sherlock: Golf? *chuckles* I don’t golf. I live in Baker Street.

3:52 John: No, I-I know, but, um. *deep breath* Right, okay. My hobby is-

3:58 Sherlock (interjects): Podcasting.

3:59 John: Well, no. Uh, that’s my job.

4:00 Sherlock (skeptically): Is it now?

4:01 John: My hobbies. Uh…so I like to play football. I like films and tv. Ummm I’m very partial to a board game. Uhhhh… Oh! Ok! So here’s a confession. I have the flight tracker app. I’m not saying I’m a, a plane spotter, but um… I like to, yeah, just check in with that. Y’know? See what’s overhead? Where it’s come from, where it’s going. Picture the kinda people that uh. *sigh* Oh I don’t know, going from swha-Rome to Mexico City, y’know? Th-th-the weary business men and women tucking into their inflight meals, families that have created a whole crate of memories that they’re going to talk about for decades.

4:42 John (dramatically): The lovesick Italian man flying out to see his Mexican sweetheart. His heart bursting with excitement and fear that the stewards who keep complaining about some bloke in Row G, c-

4:49 Sherlock (interjects): Trains.

4:50 John: Hm?

4:51 Sherlock: Trains. I like trains. And, dinosaurs.

4:56 John: Ok. Great! Well, haha! That’s wonderful! We did it, another answer to another question. See, I told you it’s bloody easy- *sound of an ice blade scraping the ice too hard/wrong, a loud hard thump, the mic is rubbing terribly against clothing, sound is muffled* Oh, God!

5:07 *Audio Cut-Vaguely café sounds*

5:09 John (pained): Ahhh *sucks in air through his teeth* Oh that stings. *sounds like he’s holding his face*

5:15 Sherlock: Yep, they’re loaning us their frozen peas.

5:18 John: Oh what, they’ve got frozen peas in this place? Why aren’t they fresh, meals are twenty quid?

5:21 Sherlock: Uh, do you want the frozen peas or not?

5:23 John: Yeah! Yes, please, give’em here. *sound of a bag of frozen peas being shuffled around, John’s voice is muffled* Oh, yeah. Oh hoho, that’s the stuff, baby. Oh yeah. Ahhhhhhhhh. 5:39 Sherlock: Just to confirm,

5:40 John: Uh hunh?

5:40 Sherlock: they are paying for this? People are…paying for this audio?

5:46 John: Yeah, mate. Oh! Ah God! Ooo! Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, ouchie…

5:49 Sherlock: Understood. Well, people can be rather odd, can’t they? Nothing wrong with that of course.

5:55 John: Uh, d’you mind? I see- I actually know what you’re doing with that ‘nothing wrong with that’ lark. So, right! Next question, ‘How did Archie get his name?’ says May Van der Hayden in New Zealand. Ah, well mate, I didn’t have much say in the matter. *clicks tongue* Um, I bought him as a birthday present for…uhhhh. M-my ex-girlfriend. Um, e-e-ex…yeah, y’know she was. She was-she was the bi- big one. The one I l-lived with and planned t’m-my life. Around. Sort of thing. Um. *clicks tongue* B-bought him for her, she chose Archie. Um. I-I don’t know why? Ha. And then she chose my friend who had a Range Rover Sport. So, yeah, she left me and the dog. *clicks tongue* And I left the dog to help the Ukrainians. Now I’m back. *clicks tongue* Got a dog and a master detective. Uh, lucky me. *awkward chuckle*

6:55 Sherlock: I feel your answers should be more concise.

6:58 John: Yep, thank you for that input. May also asks, Sherlock, seeing as you have handled cases for other countries, have you ever handled any in New Zealand?

7:07 Sherlock: Yes.

7:08 John: Oh! Lip, lip. Now numb. Ah, ah. Can you expand on that please?

7:13 Sherlock: Yes, but you’d have to stop recording or redact it from the podcast.

7:17 John: Aw, what’d be the point of that?

7:19 *Audio Cut- Sounds like they’re on the tube now*

7:23 John: Question here from Chloe Davies in Canada. Hi, Chloe. Sherlock, your hugging machine, is it based on that of Temple Grandin?

7:31 Sherlock: Er, she sent me some early designs, yes. I needed to tweak its pressure loads to clench my shoulder blades.

7:40 John: That’s the way you like it, is it? Hugwise?

7:43 Sherlock: Yes. Any sensation below the diaphragm causes me to stress.

7:47 John: Good to know. Uh, Nick Licher or, er, Licker. Uh…let’s go with Nick Licher. He asks, “Why did Sherlock need your shoelaces?” Yeah, why did you need my shoelaces?

7:58 Sherlock: I was conducting a thorough cleansing of our garments following the proximity to duck poo we had undergone that day in the park. *sucks in air sharply* The shoes contain the most potentially harmful pathogens. I removed the shoelaces for deep cleaning.

8:11 John: Okay.

8:12 Sherlock: Okay? Is that it? For potentially saving you untold hours and days on the toilet?

8: 19 John: How so?

8:20 Sherlock: E.coli, Watson.

8:22 John: Yeah, but on my shoelaces? Mate, I wasn’t going to chew on them. Right, Adrien Kaiser from Minnesota. “John, if you miss an upload should we just assume you and Sherlock have been arrested or are dead?”

8:32 Sherlock: Yes. As assumptions go, those options would be some of the likeliest. Wouldn’t you agree Watson?

8:39 John: No.

8:40 Sherlock: Why not?

8:40 John: Well, I don’t know. Maybe my laptop breaks, maybe we don’t get an adventure that week, I’m ill, your ill, a long list of things that aren’t dead or arrested, Sherlock.

8:50 Sherlock: It was Adrien that said it, not me.

8:52 John: *heavy sigh* Arlo asks, as a Shakespeare fan-him, not me- he asks what my favorite play by him was. Uhhh, um, I love Romeo and Juliet. Bit of um, a sucker for romance, me. *awkward chuckle* Hamlet’s too long, should’ve streamlined that a little. I’m uh going to go Romeo and Juliet. Or Julius Ceasar. Good drama in that one, I think. Kind of can’t understand what they’re saying, but uh I hold my English teachers at school responsible for that one, I mean also why are we reading them? Yeah, they’re meant to be performed, come on. Uh, next question. Soma asks “what’s your favorite tv show?” Uh, I loved ‘Band of Brothers’. Um, but, of course, an ex soldier would say that wouldn’t he. Um, psh, yeah, ‘Band of Brothers’. Or, something light and millennial, like, um, I don’t know. Fraiser? Or, uh, Will and Grace?

9:46 John: Sherlock? Favorite tv show?

9:48 Sherlock: This is us.

9:48 John: Really? I never saw it.

9:49 Sherlock: No, Watson! This is us! Quick!

9:52 John: Oh, bollocks, Oh! The doors are closing! Ow!

9:53 *Audio cut-sounds of a tube station/outside*

9:54 John: Misha asks,

9:56 Sherlock: Mmhm?

9:57 John: “Do you have a sweet tooth?” Well, I can tell you, Misha, that yes, he bloody does! Sherlock?

10:02 Sherlock: Yes, I bloody do. *awkward chuckle, sharp intake of breath* Yet, my diet is highly unpredictable and more often then not tied to my mood

10:08 John: Yeah, I can vouch for that. One minute he’s slurping down some borscht on a whim. Next minute, he’s going ten straight days eating tomato penne pasta.

10:16 *sound of a building door opening*

10:19 *sound of the door closing, presumably they’re in the foyer of 221 Baker Street*

10:19 John: *sigh* Uhhh, just trying to find uh…

10:23 Sherlock: Yet more questions?

10:23 *sounds like they’re removing their coats*

10:25 John: Yep. Uh, ooo, questions, right, last one. Uh, “Doctor Watson, hope this question doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Do you use a cane for your leg injury? I use a cane myself due to joint pain from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. In fact, one of the canes was hand painted by a family in Ukraine during the war.” Well aw! *delighted chuckle* Aw that’s nice. Um, no I don’t use a cane. Uh, I had some surgery, and I was very kindly along with a few others flown out to Florida for some rehabilitation and then back to the UK for some hydrotherapy courtesy of the Ministry of Defense. Uh. Then they sacked me. So, heh, booooo. *chuckles* So, no. I’m actually cane free. But, uh, I have had moments. Especially climbing these bloody stairs *sounds of him stepping heavily up stairs* where I’ve wanted something like that.

11:15 Sherlock: Finished?

11:16 John (slightly out of breath): Finished.

11:17 *sound of a door opening, presumably 221B’s*

11:17 John: Right, say ‘Bye, Listeners’.

11:19 Sherlock: ‘Bye, Listeners’. You know, you do have a rather silly gait. *pause* Walking style. *sound of a door closing* The cane may have been needed. You do look weird when you stroll. Nothing wrong with that of course.

11:32 John (under his breath): For God’s sake.

11:33-12:03 *audio cut to end theme. It’s Mad Prodigy but a different part not used in the main show with a bit of piano.*

END

#sherlock & co #sherlock and co #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #mailbag 1 #transcripts #transcript #mine

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ikkosu · 3 months

Text

PROWL HEADCANNONS

a/n: prowl on 'how he'd fall for you' headcannons because I’m bored and I love this war criminal to bits. (human gn.reader btw) warnings : just me rambling about prowl. might make part two of this idk.

I feel like prowl wouldn’t be the type to seek out someone; the only reason he’ll fall in love with you ( or in his case, have an illogical, spur of the moment, chemical reaction) is because you’ve been working him long enough to understand how his mind works

you’re gonna have to be the calm type, smart enough to know he’s off his rockers — since you’re going to have to tolerate him, anyway

or dumb enoug you don’t know wtf’s going on half of the time and just,,,supports what he does — he keeps you around for that

either ways, you're only there because the high council needs someone to keep tabs on prowl. in case he gets bored and decides to scheme another conspiracy to overthrow the government

(an exaggerated bias, as he'd say)

dumb is like his emotional support golden retriever, and calm is also the same, except less rowdy and just stares into his soul when he fucks up. But he stares back though and you're not one to give up either (in the end he does)

(Trope dynamics of loud dumb x smart and internally seething calm x smart is what I’m thinking lol)

calm would be someone in the science field or in the medical field, sassy, knows a lot (because if you’re going to lose your shit, it’s likely you’re never going to win an argument against him so = logical sympathetic + done w/ his shit + I stick around bc I care )

and for dumb loud would be someone in his profession, like buddy buddy cop + someone that just tags along because, hey, you like pissing him off

‘in both cases, if he falls for you it’s either because (for internally seething calm) you’ve managed to sooth him down from another temper tantrum or understand how he feels, in a way.

[i]

it’s not his usual tantrum, he’s a lot more emotional today and you’re incredibly concerned. this is prowl of all people! what’s got him so worked up? he's the least logical when he thinks someone's about to betray him

you notice the whispers as you saunter along the halls, everyone passing their remarks about the earlier supposed argument between the autobot SIC and his commander

brother was going off on the walls of his office when you slip in, punching holes, flipping tables — lotsa tables — and datapads were strewn across the floor, stylus pens cluttering about. it’s a barren hell hole. more barren than clemency combined

all this you’re not so interested in, it’s a normal thing, a three to four stage process : you’ll listen as he rants. you’ll nod and slowly, not so subtly in his peripheral, coax him to sit on the couch as you fix up the place.

"His perception of justice is too idealistic!" He chuffs and you'd reply “Oh? Optimus is not taking your advice again? I thought he’s a lot more understanding…”

something like that

today, however,

The moment you slinked inside the room, swiftly locking the door, you're greeted with his back is turned, helm hunching over his taut shoulders

your gaze swivelled from the upturned tables to the mess around and it's only then you notice energon plinking down to the puddle on the floor then energon seeping from the crevices of his fist.

Your eyes find the similar smear on the wall, then to the glass shards of a fractured cup on the floor, glinting

he’s bleeding

your medical instincts take reign, voice soft with concern.

“prowl—“

“don’t touch me.” He reels away.

His vents are shuddering, a staticky sporadic bursts of chuffs. He’s not breathing well, much too fueled by his own anger, his optics dart around the place, unable to focus, jittery and restless.

he paces around the room, servos unable to still

you know that hopeless feeling. The desire to do something , anything, but rooted at the inability to do so purges all instincts

you inch closer, palms up placatingly, treading on a light rake of glass. “It’s alright. Breathe. think about your three senses—"

“I said don’t touch me.’’ his voice is louder, more defensive, the kind you see a lot given you're his partner and the fact not all his propositions weren't taken so well. you can guess that's what happened today, or an altercation he's taken a lot too personally.

"I won't. I just want to see your wound."

"Its nothing. I said leave." his door wings flare up, a prey cornered with no where to go, lashing out as its last primal instinct to survive

pity spools into your chest

"it's alright, prowl. It's just me." you're halfway close and he backs up against the wall. "Let's talk like we always do, hm? Talk to let out some steam. Talk about what happened this morning or we can talk about something else."

"you don't understand." his voice wavers off a little, still having that tinge of sharpness yet it's loosing it's edge. his optics fail to meet yours. It's lodged to your feet. somewhere there. he's never been this vulnerable

"I won't have to understand." You say, and your hand curls experimentally over his own, testing to see if he'd lash out

When he didn't you intertwine you hands with his, easing down the stress of his knuckles. "You don't have to tell me anything. Just let me see your hands. I'll leave after once I fix everything up."

A moment — a beat; he relents.

Or more accurately, he's reeled silent as you tow him to the couch, clutching an ivory medical kit in the other hand.

With his servos on your knee, you work delicately, picking the fractured shards from the crevices of his digits that were lodged deep into the cords

His expression doesn't betray much pain plaguing his face with the usual pinched, dour look as he gazes outside the window. Though, he tenses up when you'd come across a deeper wound

then something hard on your shoulder startled you. You blink when you feel the crook of his nose nestle your shoulder blades. he's never been this affectionate and while you prefer to assault him with all kinds of question, you chose not to

It's like handling a startled cat; you're afraid of overwhelming him in case he'd draw back again. So you follow along, leaning a bit back so he's neck is comfortable with the bend.

The white bandages were purged a purple mauve when you roll the fabric around his digits, tying the loose ends with a dainty little bow.

You fix up the kit, his head still on your shoulder and you were about to leave when something grasps your sleeves. It's a tight clutch, digits curling around the fabric.

Prowl's now staring at the ground, any emotion on his face is imperceptible. Later punctuated by a remark, soft yet demanding, he uttered :

"stay."

#prowl x reader #transformers #maccadam #transformers x reader #transformers idw #idw prowl #prowl #prowl idw x reader #idw prowl x reader #mtmte prowl

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baby-bearie · 2 years

Text

the back of your knees

(not my gif all credit to owner)

eddie munson x reader

a/n: god damn i have revived from writing retirement for eddie munson. wow. also taglist is updated w/ stranger things and criminal minds options if you’re interested, and if you would no longer like to be tagged you can message me or send an ask. thanks!

warnings: lots of physical touch, reader is mentioned to have longer hair, or at least until ears. just like, pure love and fluff too, which is really unusual for me.

summary: eddie for the life of him cannot figure out how to keep himself away from you. after a slip up reveals that eddie’s constant touches are a little more than friendly, he’s forced to ramble about how much he loves you and the back of your knees.

tags:

@sunflowermotel @maraseavey @tinylatina01 @obx-direction-sos @voguesir @morgansmoreid @yunhosleftpinky @adoreyou976

The first time he’d touched you after he realized he was in love, Eddie made a deal with himself.

It was nothing heavy, just a hand smoothed against your side as he walked. You tease him for how diagonal he walks, always bumping into things, but he likes to joke that you just mess up his gravitational field. A fleeting moment, with seemingly no effect on you, but Eddie’s brain froze. The back of his hand felt like someone was sticking pins in it. He couldn’t focus on what you were telling him, something Robin had said to you last week?

He nodded along, surprised he was calm enough to, considering his brain was moving quicker than it ever had. And he thought he needed to memorize it. He wasn’t drowning your voice out on purpose, but god, shut up and let him think. He tried to remember the moment, the feel of your skin, the curve of your side. And he thought about it for hours, cementing it there in the nerves of his hand and the front of his mind.

And in his bed that night, he made a deal that if he could memorize that one touch for the rest of his life, keep it somewhere safe and feel it all over again, then he wouldn’t need to tell you that he was in love with the way you rolled your eyes at his tapes in the car, or the smile you gave him when he begrudgingly plays one of yours. He would live happily with a tiny piece of you for himself.

But Eddie has a horrible memory. And when he wakes up the next morning, he’s half-dressed when he realizes the memory isn’t the same anymore. It’s too fuzzy, too far away. He huffs and pulls his shirt down over his head. And when you pick him up bright and early the next day, Max tucked away in the backseat of your car, he is staring at your hand the entire time. He knows it’s a little odd, and he catches you giving him a couple of weird looks, but he’s trying desperately to call the memory back to him. And maybe it’s a tad odd when he knocks your car keys off the dash out of desperation, waiting for you to reach for them before he lunges his hand out, too. It ‘accidentally’ clashes with yours and Eddie grins a little.

“What are you smiling at, clumsy? Stop throwing my stuff everywhere.” You scowl.

Giddy with the thrill of your touch, he continues causing small accidents as an excuse to touch you. He claims that your arm has a scratch on it so he can lift your wrist to graze his fingers over the skin before he gingerly sets it down, grinning as he tells you it must’ve been a shadow. He throws small paper balls in your hair as he sits behind you in class so that he can tell you he needs to pull them out and fiddle with your hair later. Eventually, when he realizes you haven’t caught on, he moves onto just straight up touching you.

It happens so smoothly that you don’t even realize it. A hand slipped on your arm when you mutter about the breeze. His legs tucked halfway under yours as a movie plays in Robin’s basement. Fingers dancing across your back when you fall asleep while he’s driving you home.

And it becomes so normal, so casual, that soon enough it’s just always there. His life before that first touch and after blur together, and he can’t really remember a time when he didn’t know the feel of your skin. When you sit next to him his hand just slips onto your knee. His fingers get caught in the ends of your hair in class. You take no notice, just Eddie being Eddie.

You don’t think twice about it until Mike asks whether your parents know you and Eddie are dating.

“What are you talking about?” You mutter, thinking you didn’t hear him right.

“You and Eddie. Do your parents know?” He repeats himself, brows crowding together.

“Know what?”

“You and Eddie are dating?”

“No, we’re not.” You shake your head in confusion.

“Yeah, you are.”

“No.”

“Yes?”

“Mike, why would you think I’m dating Eddie?”

“I mean, you guys are like on top of each other all the time. It’s so coupley.”

“We are not!”

“Y/n, yesterday, he was like, brushing your hair.”

“So, what?” You scoff.

“I don’t know, Y/n. Eddie is touchy but he’s not that touchy.”

You sit there in silence with Mike’s revelation, too confused to ask more questions. Mike isn’t done, though.

“You’re really not dating?”

“Shut up, Mike.”

That night, Eddie is supposed to come over and study. At least, he’s supposed to come over and keep you company while you study. You do your best to pour over your Western Civ notes but you feel Eddie’s fingers sift through your hair, softly rubbing a piece between his fingers and his thumb. It continues for a few minutes and you are suddenly unable to focus on your notes no matter how much you try. You feel how close he is sitting behind you on the floor of your bedroom. Is he always this close? Have you just never noticed? Why is he so close?

You feel every nerve in your skin light up as his fingers leave your hair to flit down the nape of your neck, tracing an invisible line to your shoulder blades. You abruptly turn around and stare at him.

“What?” Eddie laughs, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Eddie,” You try, lips pressed into a thin line. “Shit,” He whines. “What’d I do this time?”

“Nothing, Eddie. I just wanted to ask you something.” You mumble.

“Oh,” He shuffles even closer to you, hand reassuringly grabbing your elbow. “Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

“Why are you, you know, why do you,” You try. “Why have you been really close recently?”

Eddie’s face scrunches up. “Really close? Haven’t we been friends for a while? I didn’t see you that much this week, did I?”

“Not like that, no.” You interrupt him to rephrase. “Not emotionally, Eddie, physically. Like, physically close.”

His eyes widen, and he scoots a little far back from you. “Oh, Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything like that, swear it, I can stay multiple feet away.” “No, Eddie, just listen,” You try to intervene, but he’s on his feet. “Never meant to upset you, really. If I had known,” “Eddie!” “Do you want me to go? I can go,” “Eddie, shut up and listen!”

He presses his mouth into a thin line and sits back down, a good three feet away from you.

“All I asked was why? Is something going on? Can I help you with whatever this is?”

Eddie’s tongue peeks out from between his lips in thought. He curses himself for breaking his deal. He couldn’t keep it to himself, became greedy and wanted more than one touch from you, and this was his punishment. He had to tell you he was in love with you.

God knows he could never lie to you. “Do you want me to stop?” He whispers. Stalling. He’s stalling.

Your brow raises. “Never said that, no. C’mon, Eddie, what is going on? It’s me, just spit it out!” “That is exactly the issue, Y/l/n. It’s you.” He groans and shoves the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“What the fuck did I do?” “Nothing! It’s just you, and it’s you, and my brain short-circuits around you, and this isn’t going to make any sense, but, God, Y/n, I love the back of your knees.”

“What?” “They’re so nice. And soft. All of you is always so nice and soft and good and I really like your knees and your shoulder blades and your forehead. I know I’m just naming body parts, but I didn’t really plan this out, I kind of wish I had.” He rambles.

“Ok, slow down, let’s-” “And I know I should be able to keep it to myself but, Y/n, that goes out the window whenever you’re near me, I have to be close to you, this shit sounds so weird, but I love all of you so much and being able to feel you is like a lifeline. And I don’t care if it’s your face, or your stomach, or your feet, or your knees, but I love it all. S’like- listen, I don’t know what I’m talkin’ about anymore, but s’like this- knowing that you’re around, and you’re real, makes me feel so much better every single day. I don’t get it, Y/n, I don’t, but I love you, and I really, really, really hope that made sense.”

He finishes his ramble with wide eyes and red cheeks and his hands are gesticulating wildly.

“You have never, ever, made sense to me, Munson.” You mumble breathlessly, scrambling over to where Eddie is cross-legged on the floor of your room to kiss him. His hands hover over you for a moment and you have to blindly fumble for them, and press them to your face before he kisses you back.

You pull away, out of breath. “I really love your hair and your arms. I’m in love with you, too.”

He leans forward in record time to kiss you again, grinning like a madman. Which he guesses he is, at least around you.

You sit back on your heels in front of him, and he reaches a hand out towards you but pauses before he pushes your hair behind your ear, hand experimentally continuing down your cheek, the line of your jaw, before he folds it back into his lap.

“Wait, so I’m, like, supposed to touch you now?”

“Shut up and kiss me again, Eddie.”

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wolflyndraws · 15 days

Note

Detective AU question (s) 🤩

Does George every purposely make mistakes in the lab? For like attention from Dream or to lead him off?

Does he also forge evidence or makes up connections that are like pulled out of his ass but Dream believes him because blind love 💀

What does Dream do in his free time besides thinking about his case and George?

What does George do in his free time besides plotting?

Wtf are these men's sleep schedules 😭💀

Is there Patches in the AU somehow? (Patches, my beloved 😞)

Does George plot his crimes to lead to dead ends or to frame people? Like real possible criminals? Or is he just doing all of this for shits and giggles and to fuck with Dream?

Is this too many questions?

How do you think your dnf would act if the met the other dnf's from all your AUs. Like a big ass meet up.

Why did Dream want to be a detective in the first place?

Holy fuck GKSJRKA pos

This one’s a long one so I’m gonna try the read more feature GKSJFKA

1. Yes and no he doesn’t make mistakes cause it’s suspicious it’s never his excuse but he tampers with the evidence and sometimes gets rid of em making it look like nothing went wrong but still the evidence doesn’t lead to him. He doesn’t do it for attention that’s the last thing he wants for himself he’s just doing it so that he doesn’t get caught and so that he leads Dream deeper into obsession of the case

2. tampering isn’t random, he makes sure the changed or evidence that’s gone makes sense and doesn’t look like it was tampered with after the case by a third party. It’s important to remember that hes smart like REALLY smart he doesn’t just pull things out of his ass cause hes dealing with a famous detective he makes one mistake and he’s for sure to be caught. Also Dream’s not just going thru a love at first sight blind love, he doesn’t fall in love w George in the start he slowly falls in love through trust and assurance that George gives him while working on the case. The stacked up trust makes him slowly like and eventually love george which is why when it’s all shattered when he figures out that George was just doin all that to make him vulnerable and to manipulate him . it breaks him

3. Not much really he used to be a big fan of the Super Bowl and football but it seems murders keep happening around that time. He suspects the killer’s doing it cause events steal attention so he can kill more low key (he’s wrong btw george just wants to cut all distractions to Dream’s obsession) one thing to remeber w George is he wants Dream’s attention on the case but he doesn’t want attention to himself specifically

4. George has a normal life out of the planning he does his normal stuff mostly just thinks about Dream and making sure he doesn’t leave any big hints but he can live a life more than dream who’s just obsessed

5. Normal human sleep schedule maybe sleeps a little late. Sometimes Dream doesn’t sleep for a few days when the case doesn’t let him sleep and it bugs him. He sometimes wakes in the middle of the night cause he thinks of something to jot down on his notes also they might sleep a little late if they decide to spend time together…

6. Contemplating if I want to add Patches from the start or dream getting patches as a therapy cat after the George killer reveal and they separate for a little

7. Usually dead ends. he doesn’t want to frame anyone cause that means the game would end his goal at first was just to make sure he doesn’t get caught but after seeing Dream’s obsession to the case when he started tampering w evidence he was like I’m smart I could maybe do a little more. But in the end he wants to make this an unsolved case forever to haunt Dream til he dies

8. No! The more the better I love yapping about my aus

9. George wouldn’t care about other dreams maybe he’d think it’s interesting how Dream acts in other aus but in the end he only cares about his own. Dream would just kinda act like normal dream but a little more collective he’d be like woah what I’m partners with George in other universes too?? Maybe that would make him believe they’re meant to be poor poor man

10. Havent fully made a backstory that I’m satisfied with yet I’ll reveal it along side with George’s first murder when I figure it out!

Thanks sm for the questions!! It was a blast answering them!!!!

#wolflyn killer detective au

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sunflowersandsapphires · 9 months

Text

Set Heaven on Fire

Wake Up, Chapter 7

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

summary: In an attempt to stop the advances of an unwanted suitor, Matt Murdock accidentally condemns you to being his fake girlfriend.

warnings: implied non-con/sexual assault, misogynistic language, swearing, angst

a/n: I feel really unsure about this chapter so PLEASE like, comment, and/or reblog to tell me you like it! Some angst (before the hurt) before the fluff.

w/c: 3.3k

A heather gray pea coat passed through your peripheral vision and the sight, combined with the wafts of that deep sticky cologne, made you catch your breath.

Told you that I’d come for you, Princess.

Eyes darting around wildly, you meekly shuffled forward in line, inching closer to the hotel employee who looked as frantic as you felt. Breathing as deeply as you could, you tried to calm your stuttering heart. Why did I ever agree to this?? What if he’s here?

You and Matt were currently checking in at the venue of the annual Criminal Law Conference. A conference that you normally wouldn’t attend—especially since you were approaching a year as volunteer coordinator and thus the anniversary of the internal investigation that had ended so poorly—but this event was a rather intimate affair and attendees were encouraged to bring their partners. Matt had practically begged you to come, and you were not immune to his signature puppy dog eyes. According to him and Foggy, there were educational sessions and discussion forums during the day, but prestigious networking events at night—similar to the gala you'd attended together so long ago. You couldn’t help but shudder at the memory of that dreadful night.

Two strong arms wrapped around your waist, tugging you into a solid chest. With a small squeak, you allowed yourself to fall against the warm body behind you.

“Breathe, sweet girl.” The deep rumble spilled from Matthew Murdock’s lips, giving you a point of focus. You dutifully obeyed his instructions, inhaling a strong breath and letting it out slowly.

“That’s my good girl,” Matt purred, warming your body with his subtle flirt. “What’s got you so worked up, angel?” You could feel the eyes of the other attorneys in line falling on the pair of you.

“Dunno.” You murmured in response, shifting in his arms so you could bury your face in his neck to hide from the crowd’s collective gaze. “I just…thought I saw someone.”

“Snyder?” Matt’s brow pinched as he took his focus off of you for a moment to search for any sign of the crone.

“Uh, yah.” You whispered, but your heartbeat stumbled. Why were you lying? Who had you thought you’d seen? Was it just a cover because he was the one making you nervous? Oh god, he was totally making you nervous.

“The line is moving again.” Your quiet, anxious voice cascaded over him once more and he decided to drop the inquiry, for now. You didn’t seem to be in a great headspace for an interrogation.

“Thanks, angel. Guide me?” He gave a pronounced pout, coupled with his aforementioned puppy dog eyes, hoping the expression would lighten your mood. It seemed to work marginally as he heard the small smile in your sweet voice as you spoke again.

“Always, love.” You carefully untangled yourself from his grasp, sliding his left hand to the crook of your right elbow. The two of you moved forward with the crowd, your place in line just shy of the front desk at this point.

“412, 414, 416. We’re in this room here. Hold my bag for a second?” You waited for Matt’s nod before handing over your suitcase so that you could insert the key card in the door.

Once inside, and away from the prying eyes of your colleagues, you felt the tension seep out of your body. Matt’s hand slipped from your arm, making you frown. He walked into the room ahead of you.

“Sorry for all the PDA back there, everyone was looking so I…” His voice was soft, almost nervous.

Sitting on the bed, he removed his glasses and nervously rubbed at his face.

“That’s not what made me anxious, Matty. I promise.” You plopped down next to him, leaning onto his shoulder. With one hand on the small of his back, you nudged his chin with a single finger so that your foreheads could rest against each other.

“You’re sure?” The undercurrent of fear in his tone didn’t go unnoticed. Matt’s self-doubt didn’t rear its head often around you at the beginning of your pretend relationship, but, as he began to trust you implicitly, he couldn’t quite keep his personal demons at bay. Thankfully, you were more than willing to reassure him when his worries surfaced.

“Absolutely certain, darling. You know that I get stressed in crowds. Besides, I could never complain about being held by the Matthew Murdock. Do you know how many women would kill for that opportunity?” You poked his cheek, making him smile.

The lawyer blushed, ducking his head with a small grin. You grinned at him in return. “It’s true. They’re practically lining up just to catch a meager glance from you.”

Matt snickered. “I don’t know about lining up…”

You looked at him, face softening. “I’m very lucky to have a fake boyfriend like you, darling. I think about that a lot.” Your heart rate picked up as Matt moved closer.

“You think about me a lot?” Matt’s eyes were dancing with heated mirth and it sent a jolt straight to your core.

Heat rose in your face as Matt pressed in closer to you, slowly pushing you onto your back and boxing you in with his huge arms.

“So what if I do, Matty?” Biting your lip, you internally cringed at how wobbly your attempted flirt sounded.

“Don’t get shy on me now, sweetness.” Matt rolled off of you, frowning, settling on his side next to you. Your heart fell as he distanced himself, as if you’d expected him to tear you apart right there on that bed.

Recovering your dignity as well as you could, you nestled yourself against the pillows with a sigh. “Speaking of me being shy, could we, um, talk about something later? About us?”

As if a switch had been flipped, Matt’s body stiffened next to you, his blank eyes growing wide and his demeanor becoming gruff. “Can it wait until after tonight?”

Your heart sank at his reaction. “Of-of course, Matty. How long until I have to put my game face on?”

“Well, there’s a social thing in a couple hours or so, but we do not need to stay long.” Matt’s voice was almost…stern?

Something about his new mood set you on edge. You’d been trying to be more physically affectionate with him in place of outright confessing your feelings. (Every time you thought about admitting how much you liked him, your throat felt like it was closing up, so you had avoided the topic until this moment.)

Had you been making Matt uncomfortable? Since you’d gotten here, he just seemed…off. The brief flirting session had indicated to you that it was just nerves because of his peers, but now you weren’t so sure. You shuffled around on the bed uneasily, deciding on your next move.

“Oh, ok. I’ll get ready then.” Your voice was timid as you slid off the bed. Padding into the pristine bathroom, you turned the shower on before letting your eyes fill with tears. He doesn’t want you. He never will.

Matt’s chest clenched as he smelled salt on the stale air of the hotel room. You were crying in the bathroom, barely 10 feet away from him and yet he was entirely powerless. The sound of your heart rate rising as your body exuded anxiety taunted him relentlessly.

After talking with Foggy and Karen a few weeks ago, he’d been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out properly. Until today, he’d even had hope that you’d be excited to be in a more legitimate relationship with him—clearly his friends were mistaken. His presence did nothing but drive your vitals through the roof but he wasn’t willing to let you go just yet.

He’d tried to find the spark that had been there during your first kiss a few weeks ago, but the shakiness in your sweet little voice clearly signaled fear. You didn’t want to do this with him anymore.

That was what you’d wanted to talk to him about, right? It had to be. “About us?” Your soft wavering voice had crushed him. He’d been waiting for this specific shoe to drop for weeks, but the waves of shock and hurt hit him like a bus anyway.

Emotion welled up in his throat and he swallowed painfully, trying to hold back the roiling storm in his chest. It was cruel to keep you here with him if you didn’t want to be. Tonight, he’d set you free.

Fidgeting with the strands of your wet hair, you let out a sigh. Your eyes were bloodshot to the point that you were concerned makeup wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that you’d been crying. An anxiety-inducing cherry on top of the shitty day you’d ended up having.

A quiet knock on the door drew a small squeak out of you. “Yah?”

“Hey, uh, you don’t need to come tonight, sweetness. You’ve done enough. Don’t want to force you.”

Tilting your head in confusion, you peeled the door open to reveal a formally dressed Matt, glasses obscuring his stony gaze.

“You…you don’t want me to come?” You whispered, throat closing up while your heart pounded.

“It’s not that I don’t want you there, I just—“

“Did I do something wrong?” You desperately searched Matt’s face for any indicator that he was lying, his sweet self trying to spare you anxiety or something.

“No, of course not, I didn’t mean—“

“Then what did you mean, Matt? I must’ve done something, you’re clearly upset!” You were almost angry now. After everything the two of you had been through and suddenly you having feelings was a deal breaker? Like you just couldn’t help yourself around him anymore?

“You just don’t need to be there, so I’m not going to force you—“

“Force me? Where is this coming from, Matt? Is this because of what I said earlier? About wanting to talk? Because we don’t have to, we can just—“

“Just what, keep pretending to be in love with each other? Kissing and holding hands and bantering like one of us isn’t going to get attached? That’s not fair to either of us.” Matt was yelling now, fists clenched.

“I—I didn’t know you felt this way about someone getting attached. I wouldn’t have said anything, I—“

“Yeah because that would’ve solved everything, right? Just lying to my face until I didn’t need you anymore?” Jaw set with rage, you realized you weren’t looking at Matt Murdock, but the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

“Matt—“ You tried to reason with the raging force in front of you, but he was having none of it.

“Go home,” Matt growled your name in a way that made you flinch. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come. I’m sorry.” With one last angry murmur, he straightened his tie and disappeared through the room’s door, leaving you to crumble to the floor with a new flow of sobs. How had tonight unraveled so quickly?

Breathing eventually falling into a controllable rhythm, you hastily wiped at your face and set off on wobbly legs to grab your suitcase. Shooting a text to Marci to let her know that you had tried to confess your feelings and it ended up being a huge mistake, you steeled yourself before turning your back on the room you’d planned on sharing with the man you had feelings for.

Whipping open the door, you kept your head down and took a step toward the elevators, running head first into Beatrice Snyder.

Matt’s jaw was painfully clenched by the time he reached the ballroom. He’d commit a litany of sins in his life, but there was no doubt in his mind that he would be damned for what he did to you tonight. While it was not your fault that you didn’t return his feelings, his hurt quickly turned to anger.

Anger was familiar. Anger was safe. Rejection wasn’t.

Stepping over to the bar, he failed to return the bartender’s smile and polite tone. “Whiskey, double.”

Downing the glass the moment it was set in front of him, he slammed it back to the bar top. “Refill.” Then, remembering his manners, “Please.”

Feeling a presence over his shoulder, he cursed his cruel God for letting Foggy find him before he was sufficiently wasted.

“Going a little hard for a work event, eh Murdock?” Foggy’s chuckle was humorless and a bit nervous as he gave his friend a once-over. “Where’s your better half?”

“Gone. Sent her home.” Matt downed the second glass of liquor, refusing to let down his guard again tonight.

“And as obvious as it is that you’re having a great time on your own, why, pray tell, did you do that?” Foggy’s tone was level, but Matt could hear his frustration simmering beneath the surface.

“She knows, Fog. I don’t know how but she knows that I like her. And she doesn’t feel the same way. So I didn’t see the point of fooling myself any longer. It wasn’t fair to her.”

“Matt, bud—“ Foggy reached for Matt’s arm but he jerked away from the offered touch.

“What, Fog? Can you honestly tell me that any of this has been kind to her? I know you expected this to become real at some point, but clearly that’s not going to happen. I think we both just need some time.” The thought of being apart from you was excruciating, but he’d dug this grave himself.

“Did she say that? Matt, what on earth—“ Foggy was clearly about to chew him out, but someone else beat him to it.

“Murdock, I have a bone to pick with you!” Marci’s voice was angry and loud, sending a spike of pain through Matt’s pounding eardrums.

“Babe, maybe it’s best if we—“ Foggy placated, his hands raised in surrender and Marci stormed towards the bar.

“Save it, Foggy Bear. Matthew Motherfucking Murdock what the fuck did you do?” A well-manicured hand shoved Matt’s chest and, while he would’ve been able to stop it, he took the punishment in stride. It was nowhere close to what he deserved.

“You’re going to need to be more specific.” Matt remarked drily.

“Oh, spare me your attitude. You seriously blew up on her because she likes you? How goddamn childish. After everything she’s done for you—“

“Wait, what?” Matt and Foggy spoke in unison, brows furrowing in tandem.

“Let’s drop the innocent act, ok, it’s not a good look. If you didn’t feel the same way, you could have let her down easy instead of blowing up on her and leaving her alone.” Marci rolled her eyes, waving down the bartender.

“I didn’t—“ Matt’s chest felt tight. It wasn’t possible, you’d seemed so nervous around him. You’d lied to him about the reason.

“Marce, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Matt, care to shed some light on that?” Crossing his arms, Foggy turned back to his legal partner with a raised brow.

“I—I thought she was tired of pretending. She said she wanted to talk and she’s been jumpy all day, I assumed she wanted to ‘break up’” Matt didn’t realize how pathetic that explanation was until saying it out loud.

“Oh my god, you kicked her out and you didn’t even know what she wanted to talk about!? Murdock of all the idiots—“ Foggy was overtly upset now, anger bleeding into his words.

“I know, Fog. I fucked up. Shit, I have to go find her.” Dread was washing over his body like sub zero water. What the fuck had he done.

“Yah, man. You do. And I’d hurry.”

Matt clasped Foggy’s shoulder, making a beeline for the exit.

Beatrice Snyder smiled at you like a feral cat snarling at its prey. Your name rolled off her tongue like a drop of poison onto your skin.

“So nice to see you again, dear. Where’s your handsome boyfriend?”

“Do-downstairs.”

“And you’re leaving without him? Aw, you poor thing. What happened, did the two of you have a lover’s quarrel? Don’t tell me you broke up!” Her manicured hand fell over her heart in a gesture of mock horror.

“No, he just—“ You started.

“No need to explain yourself to me, dear,” The cruel woman spat the term of endearment at you. “You've clearly been through enough already.” Her eyes hardened with judgement.

A deep voice cleared their throat behind you and all of the hair on your neck stood up.

Notes of tobacco and bourbon mingled poorly on the air around you, accelerating your nausea. Please do not let this be happening. Please, someone, anyone don’t let it be him.

“Ah, yes. How rude of me. I should introduce you to the new associate attorney at HCB: James Lannister.” Snyder bared her fangs at you again, gesturing to a force behind you.

You were going to be sick. The walls were closing in around you. Your body froze, petrified with horror as a gnarled hand crept over your shoulder.

“It’s been too long, little Princess. You’ve looked better.” James Lannister strode around you, his piercing gray eyes lingering on your body, making your stomach churn. Your nightmares had immortalized him—with his greasy blond hair and broad, towering frame. His smile revealed inhumanly white teeth and a dangerous glint in his eyes. Your mouth felt like it was welded shut, your tongue a chunk of solid lead that was slowly choking you. “Nothing to say to me, huh? No apology?”

Fingers clenching around the handle of your suitcase, you took a step backwards in lieu of a response. Lannister’s wandering hands snatched your arm in a vice grip. “I think you and I need to have a little chat, Princess.” Snyder grinned as he began to drag you towards the stairwell, your suitcase falling to the carpet of the hallway with an inaudible thunk.

“Karma’s a bitch, dear. I’d better get downstairs, I’m sure Matthew would love to know what his sweet little thing is up to when he’s not around to keep her in line.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again at the thought of poor Matt, who already hated you, being subjected to Snyder’s falsehoods. “Please, I’ll do whatever you want, just leave him alone!” Snyder ignored you as Lannister cackled.

“Aw, the little whore found someone else she cares about, did she?” You were sobbing now, struggling against his humongous strength, weakly battering him with your fists as you tried to run after Snyder. “Shut up, you vile slut. She can’t help you. You’re my gift for joining the firm.” His rough fingertip traced a line over your jaw and you flinched backward as far as you could.

Pulling your arm downwards as hard as you could, you broke free of his grip and stumbled back up the cement stairs, crying out as you rolled your ankle in your haste to escape. Throwing you down to the nearest landing, Lannister snarled. “That’s it, you little bitch.” Ripping a handgun from his back pocket, he pulled back the hammer and aimed at your pounding head. “Another peep out of you and you’ll never see him again. Get up.”

The floor felt liquid beneath you as your unsteady legs found their way into a standing position. You raised your hands, terrified into submission once again.

The pair of you made your way down to the ground level and out through a back door, where two other men dressed in suits were waiting. They grinned their sharp teeth at you, zip tying your hands together and stuffing a gag in your mouth. Hurling you into a waiting van, Lannister snickered. “Tonight I get pay back, Princess. It’ll be just like old times, you’ll see.”

Taglist: @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @scoliobean @harperdoodle @mattkinsella @leikelle @sweetbee0108 @dark-night-sky-99 @fallen-angels2213 @will-delete-this-later-probably @cheshirecat484 @thornbushrose @vernon-dursley

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deeply-unserious-fellow · 2 months

Text

...The love potion is Hell Viagra. Guys tHE LOVE POTION IS HELL VIAGRA-

Like okay maybe its not *exactly* that. I don't think Viagra like, actively turns ppl on or whatever, BUT I think it's primary intended purpose IS something similar. It's get horny juice. Cuz like, think about it for a second. Why sell something that's JUST advertised as a date r*pe drug? Why would you do that? Like, I get that it's hell, and bad people gonna do bad things, but the audience for that kind of thing is probably relatively limited. Plus, there are definitely people down there that would be VERY put off by a company that sells something being actively advertised as for date r*pe. Like, a lot of the sinners we see seem to be. Normal people. Which is also why Val shooting up the hotel would be considered bad for the Vees image- A lot of the truly nasty shit the Vees do has got to be kept at least kind of under wraps because a decent portion of Hell's population probably still wouldn't be okay with actively supporting that shit, no matter how much they're being encouraged to indulge in their worst impulses. It's like how, in jail, a lot of the time ppl will gang up on the worst criminals and beat the shit out of them or smthn. Like even the drone ad that explicitly stated one of the features was spying on your neighbors felt more like it was implying just spying rather then like, peeping on them naked. People are more likely to openly say they've been sticking their nose into their neighbors business then they are to say they've been peeping. Still not good, but like. Vaguely more socially acceptable and appealing to a wider market.

There's also the fact that, from the advertisements we've seen, it doesn't really look like that's what it's being advertised for? One of them is Velvette doing a magical girl pose and the other is Val(who is the porn guy. Aka the romanticized sex genre) and Vel just like, laying there together all sexy like. It's vague, but none of it, besides the name if you're genre savy(which I'd like to point out that not everybody is involved in media criticism enough to realize the issues w/ the love potion trope, which wasn't even taboo until a couple years ago tbh), really screams "use this to make people have sex with you against their will!" That, along with the fact that the love potion definitely CAN'T act how love potions normally do in fiction(making the person who ingested it fall deeply, head-over-heals in love with specifically the person that gave it to them), because that would be too difficult to mass produce, and the other usual approach(fall in love with the first person you see) is just too impractical unless someone is truly desperate, I think the use that gets ADVERTISED is "use this to make your sex better and more fun, just like in those pornos we also sell!(buy our shit)" rather than date r*pe.

That doesn't mean I think the Vees like. Actively discourage other uses though. A sale's a sale and one of them is fucking Valentino there's no way they care that much. Any negative reviews along the lines of "somebody used this to fucking drug me" probably get deleted and nothing is ever done about it because, in the end, as long as the suffering is invisible nobody's gonna care. This take doesn't really make the Vees any less shitty, it just makes them more ~realistically~ shitty.

It also makes the love potion a little bit funnier. Like just a lil bit. Bcuz it means you can make Hell Viagra jokes :)

#hazbin hotel #the vees #hazbin velvette #hazbin valentino #hazbin vox #it's applicable to all of them so why not #analysis #gal overanalyzes random shit

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finniestoncrane · 1 year

Note

Hi! Absolutely love your writing and I basically rebinge all your riddler content every now and then.

You've made me fall in love with all of them especially Young Justice! Riddler.

And I was wondering how would the riddlers react to meeting a villain reader during a dangerous situation.

You're like "Oh hey, you're cute." Adding in a compliment, before dashing away and leaving him in the dust without letting him get a word in.

I thought I'd be funny.

If you can't do them all, maybe young justice, dano, and/or Gotham?

Villain!Reader w/Crush

Riddler Headcanons eeeef this is cute!! and thank you so much! yj!eddie has become my babygirl and this prompt suits him so well 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: flirting/suggestive things

zero year

as much as he pretends he's 'all that'

he actually never gets complimented

because he's a pain in the ass monster of a boy

but maybe someone just as villainous as him

someone who is also a pain in the ass

could see the perfect potential within him

enough to develop maybe a little crush on him?

and now he's forgotten what he was even doing out here

maybe that was the plan all along, damn

gotham

he's no stranger to love in the field

this idiot falls in love quick and fast and with anyone

especially if they're also a bit mischievous (or criminal)

so another villain declaring their love... well...

he's kinda 'been there, done that' so to speak

but it wouldn't put him off!

it's just going to take a little bit more than rushed flirting

if you really want him to be knocked off his feet

arkham

a strange thing to say, and he's not reciprocating at all

he has absolutley no time for that kind of distraction in his life

not unless you're willing to give up on your own criminal plans

and dedicate your time to his villanous endeavours

how are you with robots by the way... just out of curiosity...?

not that it matters! because he's not interested... but...

hey, you never know! it could all work out perfectly

living together in the sewers and building robot armies

you could get married standing on top of batman's corpse!

telltale

this is the only relationship he would consider

it helps that he's had his eye on you

from afar of course, just quietly admiring

because heaven forbid he admit that he feels normal things

but you've broken the seal and now it's a full blown crush

he's already planning your criminal endeavours together

sweet memories to be made, first murder, first heist

so many villainous firsts to experience together

unburied

hang on, wait just a fucking minute, get your ass back here

just because he's little doesn't mean he won't run after you

he's not above chasing a compliment, literally or figuratively

and if you have any more of them you'd like to give out

he's here, ready to bask in your adoration

or if you'd rather take this to a more physical level...

no need to rush though! he's happy to sit here and listen

while you tell him what a cute and precious bean he is

twojar

unphased, you think this doesn't happen all. the. time?

he's banged pam, selina and once got some goodies from harley

plus him and harvey have this weird mutual thing going on

ANYWAY

doesn't matter, because while it's not new to him

he's hardly going to turn down someone's advances

so you can run away, but he'll remember

he never forgets a face, or an ass

and he liked both of yours

dano

yeah, it would be easier for everyone involved

if he just pretended he didn't hear anything you said

and you didn't repeat it, or say anything to him ever again

because you're verging into dangerous territory here

so few kind words have been spoken to him ever

that he's just definitely going to latch on to the first kind soul

who shows him any sign of affection

and before you know it, you're getting little greetings cards

from your secret admirer

and no amount of villainy is going to put him off

btaa

so miss tuesday's task for the foreseeable future is research

find out who you are and what you were doing there

was it a ploy to out-heist him? were you there to distract?

because it worked, annoyingly so

but uh... if miss tuesday also happens to find out your name

and your number... mabye what kind of food you're into

then maybe he could let you distract him again

perhaps over dinner at the nicest restuarant around... if you want

young justice

immense confusion here bless him

some idiotic hero or a mindless member of the public

maybe maybe he could see them developing a crush on him

but another criminal genius? and a very attractive one at that

complimenting him? impossible, it must have been a mistake

which explains why you rushed away from him so quickly

better that way anyway, because he's starting to sweat. a lot.

and he's so flustered he can't even think straight, let alone well

#finnie writes #riddler x reader #riddler x you #riddler headcanon #ridler scenario #gotham riddler #arkham riddler #young justice riddler #dano riddler #zero year riddler #batman unburied riddler #bu riddler #telltale riddler #twojar riddler #riddler #the riddler #btaa riddler

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striveattemptfail · 1 year

Text

some other Tho(ugh)ts on this beaut of an ep:

Dramatic Entrances is a Sacred Bat Covenant that everyone Must Follow

how much does commissioner gordon hate the batfam for property damage just bc their dramatic asses can't enter a room normally lmaooo

on god tho they look like they're straight out of an anime

oikawa tooru from haikyuu!! / kushieda minori from toradora! / team rocket from pokemon s1

ALSO DID I NOT SAY THEY LOOK LIKE TEAM ROCKET LMAAAOOO

i KNEW this pose looked familiar LOOOL

i know bc they're Bats walking right off a roof is just normal for them

bc srsly they're walking towards the edge of the building, and unless there's a fire staircase on the side, it really looks like they're just about to stroll into the horizon LOOOOOOL

so i gotta imagine outta context cass and jason dragging duke off the roof is both concerning and hilarious 😂😂

batman: i am Vengeance (•̀_•́)

red hood: enter with Vengeance (•̀ᴗ•́)ง

truly like father, like son lol

is duke speaking from experience???

............actually i shouldn't be surprised considering this is the same dude that tucked and rolled right out of a police car and off a damn bridge into the gotham bay

entering a window not-feet first sounds comparatively normal for him lol

how did she destroy the floor?????

how did she do that w/o 1) having the rest of the floor break apart and 2) having debris fall on her?????

she is an Enigma

(also the dude on the left going \o\ is sending me LMAAAOOO)

i truly love that the majority of this episode is just cass going Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ in the background while jason's suggestions keep escalating LOOOOOL

criminals: bats only operate at night!

duke: i'm gonna operate during the day

criminals: bats only enter through doors!

duke: i'm gonna enter through a door

he's Got The Braincell what can i say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#batman: wayne family adventures #wayne family adventures #wfa #red hood #jason todd #dc orphan #batgirl #black bat #cass cain #cassandra cain #dc signal #the signal #duke thomas #jercy liveblogs things #got too lazy to put these all in separate posts #also dont ask me what ep those anime caps came from bc i do not know/remember lol

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slaygentford · 1 year

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the jdcu: a comparative analysis in fact and fiction

several months ago I watched the netflix program mindhunter. this was a normal experience until I found out it is based on a memoir -- the work of 77 year old ex FBI agent John Douglas (jd). indeed, he is the man behind every behavioral analyst character youve ever seen, most notably jack crawford of silence of the lambs/Thomas Harris's novels, which consulted him personally.

I could not believe that those jds -- jack crawford and far more, as it turns out -- were based on the same man that jd of the show mindhunter was based on. mindhunter tv's jd is like if m3gan was a gay keebler elf. his girlfriend tells him to use his womanly wiles on murderers to get them to talk! and he does so -- the harlot! I was stunned. 77 year old ex FBI agent John Douglas consented for this little freak to be his eidolon forever on netflix? who even IS John Douglas?

and so I am compelled by intellectual curiosity to ask: by watching all jds ever committed to screen, can we qualify the multitude that is jd? and, after hearing John Douglas speak on John Douglas in his own words, can we decide who among the many is the most accurate fictional depiction? to conduct this study which is a really good use of my time, we begin by sorting the fictional jds into two categories: slaygent and hard boiled detective. after this, we will compare them to jd in his own words -- that is, his memoir and his masterclass.

mindhunter tv: let us begin where the problem first surfaced. much has been said about patient zero holden ford. a youthful thirty, he begins a career of seducing real life serial killers to learn about their behavior and so forth. many times I asked: girl what kind of interview is this? in the interest of time I will simply say that this evil roomba created and defines the slaygent category.

silence of the lambs: the next logical move. here we encounter the original and most famous fictional jd: jack crawford. despite a strong effort to manufacture chemistry with jodie foster, he is sadly still a man. three words I would use to describe this jd are Svelte, Serves in a trenchcoat, and Succinct. he falls in the middle of the slaygent/hard boiled Venn diagram.

manhunter: this jack is adorned with a rare and compelling mustache. in one scene he shouts, AND I'D DO IT AGAIN! I was not paying attention at this point to what he would do again but I did not doubt he would do it. no dignity, all exhaustion. hard boiled.

Hannibal nbc: jack crawford receives a much needed reboot! Laurence fishburne gives a nuanced and honestly moving performance of a man for whom meaning is unraveling one day at a time. this jack is sartorially aware but practical, and remains empathetic despite his painful job. hard boiled

the alienist: dr laszlo is our first sherlock holmes* archetype -- somehow this has not cropped up before now. with his difficulty relating to people, his lovely coat with a fur collar, and his genuinely sharp observations, laszlo alienist emerges as a dark horse slaygent.

*due to its original publication date, Sherlock Holmes and successive properties are not relevant to a John Douglas study.

criminal minds (& related procedurals): cm's david rossi, along with his counterparts across other networks, are unilaterally hard boiled.

though hardboiled jds prevail in quantity, slaygents are not necessarily an anomaly. now the moment of truth: is the real jd a holden ford or a jack crawford?

Mindhunter (book):

while reading this book I began to feel...discomfited. and not just because it's 400 pages of self aggrandizing ghostwritten prose. something was wrong. it wasn't until, in the last five pages of the gauntlet, that it all cohered.

jd and his wife separated because work kept him away, because he barely knew his children, and because when his daughter skinned her knee he couldn't find much empathy for the scrape because of the shit he saw all day. this isnt the unmarried antisocial slaygent ford who began our odyssey. this isn't even the stylish and heterosexual Jack Crawford of silence of the lambs, nor our mustachioed manhunter. a man who lacked empathy for his child? whose marriage crumbled? who thinks shrinks are dumb as hell? whose main recourse in difficult moments is to remind himself that serial killers are nothing but "inadequate losers" -- of no inherent interest to him outside of their contributions to his noble mission to stop serial killing?

whatever answer remains, however unfuckable, is the truth: holden ford -- and indeed any slaygent -- has never been John Douglas at all. even jack crawford is barely a jd himself. we've been overlooking the real jd all along. and he was right under our noses. hiding like the adder, right in plain sight.

the bill tench paradigm shift

a chain-smoking vet whose wife leaves him because he thinks their kid sucks? an unapproachable asshole clinging to his slippery moral high ground?

target locked.

but make no mistake. this is not yet a victory. if bill tench was right before us all along, then how many jds did I overlook with my narrow definition of a jd??? has hubris bested me again? who will we find now that the truth is blown open before us? how will we wrangle this new data into a useful paradigm? what does paradigm actually mean and can I use it in a sentence like that? questions we must answer.

I propose an ontological compromise. if we set slaygent at one end of a spectrum and the true jd at the other, we may examine all jds and potential jds without compromising the integrity of the real/tench jd, AND without ignoring the fact that slaygent ford is BILLED AS jd. indeed, slaygent and jd CAN coexist -- it is only that their differences must be accounted for.

below are MANY, though not every, possible jd.

now to the final frontier: www.masterclass.com, where for the low low price of 100 dollars you can access celebrities just verbatim reading from their memoirs. literally just verbatim reading from them. like I'm not joking like you could just go to fucking barnes and noble.

mindhunter (masterclass by jd): the discovery of this masterclass was a windfall in my work (thank you cj). now, at last, to the knowledge gleaned. jd (real) is man with white hair and a very slight New York accent. he is well fit for his age with minimal male pattern baldness. he confirms everything we have discovered regarding the bill tench paradigm shift; gruff, to-the-point, sardonic. even his controlled mannerisms are tenchian.

and so I must ask: from whence did the slaygent archetype spring? and why did jd consent for the scary keebler elf to be his proxy? despite the depth of my work, I cannot access the mind of this man, nor the circumstances which gave rise to these anomalies in the continuum.

still. in the indefatigable spirit of jd himself, I feel a theory nipping, nibbling at my ear. I mentioned sherlock holmes before, and now some unwanted voice within me calls out that very name. is it Holmes who shapes the slaygents into his image, even from beyond the grave? has all of this been a prelude to the real work -- the work of examining and classifying every Holmes committed to screen?

like vercingetorix, exhausted by the struggle, here I toss down my arms. with or without me, though, the jd quest continues. what doors remain unopened? what slaygent homunculi lay in wait behind them? and what will become of us, if we knock?

#well

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amethystfairy1 · 5 months

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hello internet stranger,

i am in love. you've infected both me and my sister with your brainrot and captivating fics, we've talked about it non-stop the past few days, so naturally we have some questions.

But first, i want to ask what your boundaries are w/ fanart and writing. i've already drawn a couple pieces, are you alright with me posting them, and what should i tag them with? Also, i'm feeling very inspired to write more zed and tango for the travelling thieves au, is that alright if i take your ideas and just yoink them? Im not planning to post whatever i write at this point :P

anyways, moving on, i have a few world-building questions for you, starting w/ traveling thieves:

how does the mercenary guild and hits system work? Can anyone put a hit out on anyone, or do they have to be a wanted criminal? also, how does gem choose her targets? i like to believe she has some sort of moral compass in picking, but knowing the world they live in, i can't be certain

this is less of a question, but i don't see how the world can be resolved. For ttsbc, the obvious solution to the undercity folk living freely is that they overthrow the overcity government or just remove the laws keeping them banned. Sure, it'd be difficult, but from what we've seen, most people don't actually have strong prejudices against the undercity, they just vaguely believe they're evil, which can be very easily disproved. For traveling thieves, it's completely different, because not only is the discrimination in the government, it's in the people themselves; merely changing the laws would not change how people see hybrids, so how can that be fixed? My best solution to them all getting a happy ending is that they run away and found their own civilization where all hybrids can be free, but it doesnt seem like a likely scenario

again, not really a question, but I'm so so so happy in the latest fh piece that they looted the bodies of their attackers. the first time i read it through, i was practically screaming at the screen, telling them to grab the loot and weapons before they continued

next, ttsbc:

4. how do the mobs work? do they act like any normal animal, in that they just kinda exist and happen to be very hostile, or do they follow minecraft mob mechanics and spawn into existence from nothing when the conditions are right? could they theoretically all be exterminated? do all of them dislike light, like the zombies in the cleo bdubs fic? if they do, why are they making their way to the overcity?

5. how did the undercity become a thing? Was it just always there, or was it manmade? did hybrids and mutants always live underground? are the pits really bottomless? and if so, is the world a globe, or is it flat? i understand you might not have thought very deeply about these things before jumping in, but my sister and i were theorizing about different answers. i figured the undercity isnt manmade just like the grand canyon isnt manmade, it just came about through natural processes, and mutants and hybrids just evolved(?) seperately from humans, underground, which is a whole other can of worms with the science behind that. an idea about the "bottomless" pits has to do with physics. at the center of the earth (if it were hollow), you wouldn't feel gravity because it would pull on you equally in all directions. so maybe the bottomless pit really just leads to the center of the earth, and you're not really falling forever, you're just suspended in the center forever lol. not falling, but not hitting the bottom, either

anyways, this was a really long ask (i hope thats ok), and i still have more to say, but i'll leave it there for now. again, i love the angst, and have a wonderful day. im gonna try to get some work done, but it probs wont happen with all the brainrot XD

Hello hello! ✨

I'm so honored that you and your sister are enjoying my AUs and fics so much! That you've been talking about them and theorizing over them is so awesome to hear! Knowing that they've become something fueling discussion is super cool!

I LOVE IT ALL! Fanart/fanworks/fanfic I wanna see all of it! I would absolutely love it if you would post your fanart! Please use either the (#traveling thieves au) or (#through the sky blue cracks) depending on which AU it is for and mention me in the post (@amethystfairy1) so I can see it! And of course you are welcome to write fics based in my AU or using my characterizations, in fact I'd love it if you did! It's the best thing to hear that my writing has inspired someone else to get creative! I know you said you had no intentions of posting it, but if you ever do, please use the same hashtags here if on tumblr, or if you use A03 list the appropriate fic/series as inspiration and please credit me in the notes if you don't mind! I'm looking forward to seeing anything either fanart/fanfic related that you've created!

ONTO THE QUESTIONS 🏃‍♀️

The mercenary guild is basically like the underground/illegal version of the adventurer guild, and they'll take any jobs that the adventurer guild won't. Blackmail, assassination, smuggling, you name it. Gem has something of a moral compass, but it isn't exactly the strictest thing in the world. We learn when she meets Mumbo in Grian's wing preening fic that she is on her way to assassinate a noblemans son, and while that is a bit of a wink wink nudge nudge if you can figure out who that son is, exactly, it's still Gem agreeing to kill a teenager who is guilty of little more than pissing off the wrong person. Cruel world and all.

Perhaps that's exactly point? 😌 With Traveling Thieves, I did not set out to make a world that could be resolved or escaped from...the whole point is that it is cruel and inescapable, and the best you can do is continue to protect yourself and those you care about...and even then, you might fail to do that. You might be set up to fail in a sick system that would never give you a chance in the first place. And the best you can do is try to put the pieces back together in the aftermath. I don't want Traveling Thieves to resolve in any traditional sense of the word...for where that'll lead all our various characters, well, you'll have to wait and see. 🤔

Loot that body LOOT THAT BODY NOW 💃

They're like your typical minecraft mobs, they spawn in places with low light levels! We've also got some homebrew monsters that I've come up with, such as the bird-men, that we will be meeting as time goes on. Certain monsters such as zombies do avoid light, but there are plenty of monsters will go above bedrock just like certain monsters in minecraft can survive in the sun, like creepers and endermen. No, they can never be exterminated because of how they spawn!

The pits aren't bottomless, we've seen the bottom after all, where Pearl, Jimmy, and Grian were in the Depths! It is a natural chasm beneath the bedrock, and the various caves and tunnels stretch are incredibly huge and diverse, so while everything connects back to the main cavern of the under-city that's so huge, there are also other caves and tunnels where other groups live that we will be learning about eventually, such as the blaze-born pyres or where Cub is from in the Deep Dark!

It is completely totally 100% ok! I love getting long asks like this that give me the chance to develop and worldbuild the AUs and mention some details that might never really show up within the fics themselves! So by all means send more questions and thoughts! And I'd also love to see the fanarts you mentioned if you still are up to posting them, I can't draw so anything anyone draws that has anything to do with my AUs makes me incredibly happy! 😆

Thanks so much for coming by! 💖

#traveling thieves au #through the sky blue cracks #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #hermitcraft #traffic smp #worldbuilding #life series #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #empires smp #pearlescentmoon #grian #jimmy solidarity #cubfan135 #flower husbands #scott smajor

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emberfrostlovesloki · 3 months

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Criminal Minds April Prompt List

All photo credits at the end

Good evening loves! We made it to March! I love the idea of the team during Spring time and I thought I'd make some March/Spring prompts because it makes me happy. This prompt list is inspired by the always amazing, @imagining-in-the-margins who always make the best prompt lists. I will link here new prompt list here once it comes out as well. For my prompts, I won’t write for all these prompts, but I will for at least a few.

The rules for using these prompts are that there are no rules! You could use any Criminal Minds characters, OCs, reader inserts, etc. You could draw, write, make mood boards, or imagine anything else. I have included 31 prompts for each day of the month. I also get inspiration from plain old words, so I’ve included 10 Spring words that might inspire something. Lastly, I’ve included a few dialog and art prompts too. You can find that all below the cut. If any of these prompts inspire you to create, I’d love to be tagged to see what you have made. This is all just for fun. I wish everyone a great start to the month. Please know I’m proud of you wherever you are right now. Love - Levi 🌼

You can find all the prompts below the cut

General Prompts

Rival April Fool'sprank war with Characters A and B where members of the team get roped into the pranks.

Characters A and B run into each other at a concert.

The cooling/AC goes out at Character A's apartment so they have to strip down to the basics while Character B fixes the problem.

Character A gets a text from a wrong number from Character B but they suddenly want to talk more.

Character A hates sharks and Character B agrees to watch Jaws with them for the first time.

Character A meets Character B on a cruise vacation.

The BAU men have a Bachelor Party for Character A.

The BAU women have a Bachelor Party for Character A.

Character A agrees to meet with their long-distance partner, Character B, for the first time.

Character A goes a bit overboard for the baby shower for Character B.

On a case at a sleepaway camp the team all have to bunk together in a cabin.

Characters A and B go camping together for the first time.

Character A reminds Character B that all bodies are swimsuit/bikini bodies.

Character A says they'd do anything for a popsicle, so Character B gets them one.

Character A gets back into an old sport and the BAU team shows up for their first game to cheer them on.

A big test has Character A stressed out more than normal and Character B comes and helps them study and feel more relaxed.

Chacters A and B chaperone the Sadie Hawkins dance together.

Character A quits coffee for a month and suffers which makes Character B want to be there for them more than usual.

Character A takes Character B to a place that is very important to them and explains why.

On a hike Character A becomes exhausted and Character B carries them the rest of the way back to the car.

Character A hears that Character B's child is being bullied, so they make sure to go and give the child some love and advice.

Characters A and B go to the roller rink together.

A case that takes place in a theme park!

A case that has a killer inspired by slasher films of the 70s/80s.

Character A asked Character B to be a model for their next drawing/painting/work of art.

Character A gets their identity stolen and Character B helps them out with getting it sorted.

Character A makes an OF account and Character B stumbles across it.

Characters A and B go skinny dipping for the first time together.

Character A gets a new tattoo/piercing and shows Character B. Character B is obsessed with it.

Character A falls in love with Character B; they have completely different fashion styles.

Word Prompts

Bonding

Park

Floral

Popsicle

Sunburn

Dancing

Fingertips

Full Moon

Show-off

Peaceful

Dialog Prompts

“Sweetheart, you're so pretty, let me get a picture of you."

“Hey guys... I've got something to tell you...”

“Do you want to go to the pool later today"

“_______ I swear if you don't stop teasing me about my hair cut you might regret it.”

“________ you look sad. Would you tell me why.”

“_______ can I have a sip of your drink? It looks so so good!”

Art Prompts

The BAU sitting around a campfire

Any BAU member being starstruck another member of anyone at all.

A BAU member reading to their kid.

BAU members swapping clothes.

Text Break Banner by @cafekitsune

Tag List: @tgskitten @geminitapestry @silk-spun

Want to be added to my tag list? Please see this post, CM Tag List (linked)

Want to request a fic or mood board? My requests are open. Please see this post before requesting, CM Request Post (linked)

Photo Credits

Top: Left (@hotchs-big-hands) Center (@shakespearesdaughters) Right (@ur-daily-inspiration)

Middle: Left (@shakespearesdaughters) Center (@lilacprentiss) Right (@lovesdaya)

Bottom: Left (@thyme-in-a-bubble) Center (@kiernanshayemckay) Right (@aaronwhorechner)

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marzipanparty · 2 years

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HI EVERYONE I WAS BEING A MENACE ON TWITTER BY POSTING ALL OF THIS THERE FIRST BUT!!!! Here’s the product many months of hyper-fixating w/ @skipbopbeeps: Fire Emblem Awakening Bloomic AU!!! I wrote short bios for everyone under the cut + some extra stuff!!! IT IS VERY LONG THO IM SORRY

NakedToaster - The Crown Prince of Ylisse who, in defying his parents, creates a vigilante army called the Shepherds. Although they prefer using tomes and strategic wit in battle, Toaster is proficient enough in swordplay to wield the legendary blade they’ve inherited, Falchion.

Quest - A reformed criminal devoted to using his strength to protect others. But bc of his past, entering knighthood was not something he thought was ever possible until he gets the opportunity to join the Crown Prince’s ragtag army.

XYX - A mysterious phantom thief famous for accepting any job no matter how risky or impossible. He ends up joining the Shepherds after realizing a job he accepted turned out to be an assassination attempt on Toaster’s life.

Nightowl - An eccentric mage who is the first in his family to wield magic. Owl was sent to an academy to hone his skills, however his penchant for dark magic has earned him scorn from his family and peers. He joins the Shepherds after running away, leaving behind his homeland.

Salocin- Former khan of an eastern country; Salo left to travel the world with his wife, leaving his kids to take care of the throne. He joins the Shepherds after they successfully best him in a duel.

Two2- A normal citizen; their village was saved by the Shepherds against an risen attack. They end up joining despite their intense fear of war bc they just can’t standby still while innocent people are in danger. Two’s aim is only good in the heat of battle & sucks anytime else.

June- Junior pegasus knight; June joins the Shepherds after saving them in a critical moment of battle during a raid defending the capitol. She is obsessed with romance novels, particularly a handwritten novel she found about a pegasus knight who fell in love w/ her commander.

Onionthief- Curmudgeonly war priest; Onion joined the church at an early age to help make ends meet . He joins the Shepherds bc of his desire to protect the country his family lives in.

BigLady- Empress of Wyvern valley; a former pegasus knight, Lady was in a relationship with her commander but left after they were found out. She travelled across the continent before saving a duke from a wyvern by taming it. The duke hires her as a personal sentry for his valley.

SocietyBoy- Leader of the Grimleal; He inherited a cult that worships the Fell Dragon, Grima. He is also the former husband of the MC. The Grimleal, in trying to resurrect the Fell Dragon, conduct painful & horrible experiments on themselves and others to create a vessel worthy enough to raise their god. SB, a coward through and through, instead subjects his spouse to the experiments instead. He never expects the mark of Grima to ever manifest on them but ofc it does 🤡. MC tho runs far away before he can figure out about the mark.

Big Marty- Divine Dragon; an all powerful dragon that has protected humanity on many occasions before falling into an ancient slumber. At one point in history, he is awakened by a Hero and creates a blood pact to seal Grima for 1,000 years. The Hero would become the first Exalt of Ylisse and ancestor to Toaster’s family line.

#i promise i didnt draw all of this overnight i hoarded it all for like months before i felt like i could post it 🥲#which feels a little silly in hindsight but haha anxiety makes me do some silly stuff hahaaaaa #blooming panic #blooming panic: awakening AU #lunchboxart

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mrhowells · 10 months

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Smallville 5x04

LOISSS MY WIFE IS BACK!!!!

Shut up Clark no one was hoping she'd stay in Europe longer, you just can't deal with her greatness

"Actually, I just ran into Mrs. Kent at the Talon and right out of nowhere, she asked if I'd like to move back into the farm😇". "Yeah right." "...😇" "...Really?"

AHJKHSJS PLS THE FACE JOURNEY

Lois: 1 - Clark: 0

See that's why we need Lois, it immediately turns into a comedy and Clark gets more personality.

LOIS BIKINIJFKSFJAKJK

BRO. HOLD ON. Was the AC actor on b99 as young Scully?? PLS that would be so funny.

the prettiest girl I've ever seeeen🎶 from the cover of a magazineeee🎶

like????????

she's still insulting the guy who saved her I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE OKAY

and the Lana/Lois scraps I liveeee (but also, why didn't we get more, where is the humanity?)

"He can swim faster than I can." HEHEHEHEEHEE😈

Professor Milton Fine? I don't think so

He really just compared Lex to Hitler, BRO💀💀

Same Clark, same

"I got a buck." "Yeah? You should use it to get some fashion sense."

lmaoooo

LOIS STAHP I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS

It's actually beautiful, you can see her come up with her next burn in real time

"You know, this, uh, whole orange and green thing you got going? Looks like Flipper threw up."

Gooodd I'm in love with her

SHE CALLED HIM FISH STICK I'M-

"You were turning blue." "It's a good color on me."

LOIS STOPPPPPP I NEED TO BREATHE😭😭

THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER? DUDE SAMEEEE

no because they actually have great chemistry

wdym German philosophy is easy DO YOU KNOW THE TORTURE I WENT THROUGH IN HIGH SCHOOL??? DO YOU??

stop why am I shipping Lois and AC they're so cute together😭

HELP

Lois if he falls into the water, shouldn't you jump in after him??💀

I really feel like they made the change in Lex too abrupt which is kind of a bummer because they had a great setup for it after Lionel tried to kill him at the end of season 3.

"You really don't listen, do you?" "No, I try not to, I find it distracting."

AGAIN, I LOVE LOIS AND THEY'RE CUTEEEEE

some of his pickup lines are really cringy though💀

not me getting invested when I know this isn't going anywhere😭

"LOIS??!?!?"

perfect timing Clark

Clark: 🧍😠

"Lois is all over this guy. And all we know him is that he can swim faster than I can."

jsdkdjHkas HE NEEDS TO GET A GRIP BECAUSE WHY DOES HE SOUND ANGRY AND NOT CONCERNED😭💀

I can't

Chloe: listing perfectly normal things about AC like him being on a swim team

Clark: Does he have a criminal record?😠

"I don't know what it is about this guy but I get a bad feeling."

Mmmhhhmmmm okay yeah...

CLARK DON'T EMBARRASS YOURSELF PLS

Even Lana is so done with his shit I'm crying

"Do you really believe that or is that just a pickup line for the girls?" "Clark!!!!"

RIGHT IN FRONT OF LANA LIKE-

you can't make this up😭

PLSSSSSS

Okay Lois he would totally attack AC because he's jealous (and he kinda did💀) but he wouldn't straight up invent lies about him, come on.

OOOOh is this actually the first time we hear the nickname boy scout? (I don't have the best memory so I'm not sure😅)

not AC calling Lex "bro"💀💀

"One day of college and he's already an activist."

PLSSSSS

Again, I think they could've set up this plot a bit better wrt Lex's reasons for selling that weapon despite the damage that it causes.

I'm sorry but this is kind of funny

OK NOW I'M FULL ON LAUGHING

WHAT IS THISSSS😭😭

"Are you okay?" "WET AND READY BRO."

SHDAJKFHDHGWAUIFGQM W H A T ???

WET

AND

READY

????????

I JUST FELL OUT OF MY BED WHO IS THE LEGEND RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PIECE OF DIALOGUE I MUST KNOW😭

"Well, you didn't tell him about my pitchfork, did you?" "I defended you."

*brief pause from the comedy of it all to feel PAIN*

the way AC says "bro" takes me outttt

"Maybe we should start up a junior lifeguard association or something."

STOOP THAT'S WHAT BART SAID TOO (not the lifeguard part but you know what I mean)

This just in, JLA stands for Junior Lifeguard Association💀

STAY SUPER BRAH (I'll stop making fun of AC now I prommy)

noooooo Lois😭😭😭

welp, I shipped it while it lasted

(I'm still tagging this post as clois though because we all know who the OTP is😌😌)

"I was just trying to look out for you." If you say so👀

not to be repetitive but...

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS IN THIS LIGHTING????

"I've known a lot of guys who want to own the world. I haven't met very many who actually want to save it. How am I ever gonna meet someone like that again?"

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FALLING TO MY KNEES DO YOU GUYS EVEN UNDERSTAND????

That, exactly that is the reason she loves Clark (or will eventually, whatever) I'M GOING INSANEEEE THEY WROTE HER SO WELL😭

"Lois, I promise, some day... you'll meet someone even more special."

this episode was everything I needed and more

#ellie's smallville thoughts #smallville #5x04 #clark kent #lois lane #arthur curry #clois #lex luthor

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blacksta4 · 2 years

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congrats on 200!! could i please req some dating modern!jonathan hcs?

A/N: thank you sweetheart! Also modern day Jon makes my brain hurt

↳ picnic and skating dates….like cmon now this boy is definitely into the skater scene and has a closet full of dickies 874 and chinos

↳ he’d take you to the skate park either to skate w you or try to “teach” you which normally involves more kissing and hugging in silence instead of skating

↳ “baby come look at this” “what are you doing with my camera baby” “you’re so pretty baby” he abuses tf out of pet names but baby is definitely his favorite because it slips out so smoothly

↳ he’s still into photography but it’s actually more serious now like homeboy is booking photo shoots with literal models

↳ 100% treats you like a princess. He doesn’t have much but whatever he has goes straight to you and whatever funding you need

↳ loves to take you shopping and watching you try on outfits. He insists on being in the dressing room even though every-time you let him in you end up pushed against the glass with his cock pushing into you but 🤷🏾‍♀️

↳ music taste is similar to normal Jonathan you know the smiths, joy division and the clash but now it contains Frank ocean, the neighborhood, Arctic monkeys, J.Cole, Andre 3000 and earl sweatshirt you know the vibe

↳ you definitely got his ass hooked on criminal minds and euphoria. He will binge that shit with you anytime of any day and make commentary “how long have you been fucking Nate jacobs” and all you hear is “FINALLY GOD.” from the bathroom

↳ has an obsession with converse like it’s genuinely bad but it sucks his feet are huge so you can’t steal them..

↳ when he’s alone he prefers smoking bowls but when he’s smoking with you it has to be a joint because he “likes seeing your lips wrapped around it”

↳ speaking of that…modern day Jonathan is OBSESSED with sloppy head. Spit and cum mixtures running down his thighs and your face, the grotesque sounds coming from how slick it is and the loud moans he’s not quite trying to hide 😍🤞🏾

↳ he’s lowkey conceited. He knows he’s hot and that girls would fall to his feet if asked (including you) but he’d never use that to his advantage to mess with you. He cares too much

↳ totally sings songs to you like I can clearly see him singing “one night only” by sonder with your face squished in his hands and just swaying back and forth 😭

↳ his favorite songs are definitely Deja Vu. - J.Cole, Heartless - The Weeknd and How Soon is Now? - The Smiths

#jonathan byers #jonathan byers x reader #stranger things x reader #jonathan byers smut #Jonathan Byers headcanons #🕷 — blacksta4!#blacksta4’s 200 party!

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surplus-of-sarcasm · 1 year

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I don't know if your asks are open atm, but I had this thought and I wanted to see your take on it-

Villain meets hero in civilllian identity and gets them suuuper drunk then just casually kidnaps takes them home. I want to see/read the pov of hero waking up with villain's unyielding arms curled around them, and the panic (on hero's part) and smugness from villain that ensues.

You can ofc ignore this if life is too busy rn, I would hate to burden my fav writers on here.

Heyyyy! Thank you so much for this ask, and I deeply apologise for the criminally late answer. I love this idea, so I hope I did it justice. 💙💙

TW: (Lots of) alcohol use, fear of death

Words: 2 k

Hero didn’t remember the last time they’d genuinely laughed this much, or the last time they’d gone out with anyone, and it hadn’t magically turned into a disaster. There was something oddly familiar about this gorgeous civilian, those clever brown eyes, the soft waves of their hair and that enviously confident smirk. But they couldn’t remember where, which was uncharacteristic of them because the hero never forgot a face. Maybe their date was really so magnetic that they were making them unable to think straight. Maybe they really were falling for them from their first time out together, which was something they’d deemed impossible, being generally hard to sway.

“So, what do you do for a living?” they asked the crime-fighter.

“Mechanical engineer,” they answered around a bite of steak. It wasn’t really a lie; the hero fought crime mainly at night because they had their civilian job to keep them busy in the morning.

“It seems stressful,” they replied, turning the full weight of their knowing gaze onto the hero. It was almost like Hero was completely transparent to them, even though they were told they were normally extremely difficult to read.

“Yeah. How can you tell? Do I really look that tired?” the crime-fighter asked, letting a soft laugh make its way into their tone.

“Oh, absolutely not. You’re tantalisingly attractive, doll. I’m just good at reading people.”

No doubt about that. Hero smiled at them, still somewhat nervous, but entirely flustered. Their date’s velvety voice was so impossibly smooth that they knew they could listen to it for hours on end. They were getting that weird sensation in their stomach again, what was it called, butterflies? They’d always found it ridiculous, never one for romances and cheesy movies, but here they were, suffering the same symptoms they used to mock before, and they weren’t even upset.

“I think you need to let loose,” they commented, pulling the hero out of their reverie.

“I am letting loose. I’m here, not working. And I’m already pretty relaxed, so I’m great,” the crime-fighter replied evenly, and they really weren’t lying. They’d needed this for quite a while, actually, so they weren’t sure what their date saw that they apparently didn’t.

“Would a drink really kill you?” they asked, taking a sip from their own glass.

“To be fair, no, but I’d prefer not to.”

“And why’s that?” The person across them raised an eyebrow, seemingly confused. “You a lightweight?”

At this, the hero laughed, not airy or false, but really it was painfully ironic. Their blood was different from a normal human’s, a side-effect of their powers, so it was somewhat difficult to get them drunk. Despite that, Hero knew that once they started drinking, they just wouldn’t stop, and a drunk, highly-powered individual, who was also partially lovesick in an area chock-full of civilians sounded a bit too much like a wonderful idea.

“Not at all. It’s just that when I drink, I can’t really stop,” they replied with a nervous chuckle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t go too far,” their date promised, smiling earnestly.

And the hero relented, which absolutely terrified them because they were usually so stubborn that their own boss suffered trying to convince them to do things sometimes, things being mainly: taking time off work. Yet, all it took was a few smooth words and a seductive smile.

But a few glasses later, and all their worries disappeared into thin air, and everything turned rose-coloured. The beautiful civilian had pulled them into a slow dance, even though they were the taller and stronger of the two, physically speaking. Were they really this malleable when drunk? They could still drink more, before they were completely out of it, but their date’s firm hand on their shoulder, their fingers skirting along the hero’s collar, the passionate kiss to their jawline were more than enough to stop them from thinking straight. The crime-fighter could barely breathe, smiling almost hopelessly as they let themselves be dipped and twirled by their new paramour, who shouldn’t have possessed the strength to be able to do that.

They shouldn’t.

Hero was starting to overthink, and they really weren’t going to let anything ruin this moment, so in their drunken stupor, they trudged back over to their table and asked for more wine.

“But darling, didn’t you ask me to tell you not to go too far?” their date asked, somewhat concerned and only slightly tipsy themselves.

“I also told you I’m not a lightweight, and sober me is a bastard,” they attested with a weirdly determined look on their face as they downed yet another glass.

Their lover laughed and hooked a hand into theirs, and the hero didn’t even care to ask where they were going as long as it was with them. They didn’t care that their surroundings seemed to change every five minutes, all of it melting into an amalgamation of colours and lines that the crime-stopper could barely identify the differences between. They were jumping from activity to activity, remembering each one a little less than they remembered the others, simply euphoric that their date was with them through it all, with their sweet words and their dangerously addictive touch. Oh, and the drinking, more of it than they ever fathomed was possible, from some fancy bottle with a French name they weren’t going to try reading to a cheap six-pack of beer from a supermarket and so much in between.

“Y’ know, you should stop doing that, if yer really worried about me getting any more in-intoxicated,” they slurred, as their date’s fingers carded through their hair, the hero leaning against their shoulder on a park bench.

“Well maybe, you should stop being so cute, dove,” the villain purred, lightly stroking the hero’s neck with their fingers, leaving a trail of fire on their skin.

Villain? Now, they were seriously out of it, all the way to the hallucination stage.

The crime-fighter let out a loud cackle, their umpteenth of the night.

“What is it?” they asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I just th-thought y’ were the villain. Y’know, the one fr’m the news? That crazy bastard.”

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, dear.” And with that, their date pulled them into their car, and then everything faded into pitch black darkness.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

Hero woke up with a throbbing in their head and a horribly dry throat, which was what they’d have normally called a Tuesday, except something, nay, everything seemed off. Most of their form was cushioned against an extremely soft surface, definitely not their old mattress, and they could take a leap and say the sheets were silk. For a second there, they wondered if they were in a hotel room, and a seemingly expensive one at that. The carpet, furniture and the walls were all muted colours, and the furniture was made of mahogany, or at least it looked like that, with simple gold accents for decoration. A modern painting hung above their bed, mostly haphazard streaks of soft pastel shades on a canvas, and the half-open curtains kept a terrace behind them.

Normally, if the hero woke up somewhere they didn’t know, which happened an alarming number of times to the point that they’d gotten used to it, they would start by looking for a way to escape if they needed to, ergo, they usually didn’t take the time to admire the tasteful decor.

The truth was, they were using their surroundings as a futile attempt to distract themselves from the vice-like grip of someone’s arms around them.

“Ah, so you’ve finally woken up. Took you long enough,” their date’s silky voice crooned. Villain’s silky voice.

The second their eyes flitted over to the insignia on the criminal’s neck, a wave of recognition instantly rushed over them with so much force, it almost felt nauseating. Last night, the villain must’ve had it covered up with makeup or something because the crime-fighter wasn’t the only one who could recognise that mark. The villain was practically a celebrity now.

“How?” Hero rasped out, their eyes wide, lips parted and face flushed with shame at their inability to identify their own nemesis.

The villain’s impossibly smug smile had definitely become even more smug as their eyebrow twitched upwards in amusement. “To your credit, you hadn’t seen me without a mask before. And I’d covered my mark up. For all you knew, I could’ve simply been a lookalike, so no need to tear yourself up over it, lovely.”

“How’d you know it was me?” they questioned, raising a hand up to their left temple, rubbing it with their fingers, only for the criminal to gently push it down and do that themselves, and the hero despised how they seemed to melt into the touch, how it actually seemed to dull the pain of their migraine.

“Vigilante is a mutual friend. They thought we’d be perfect for each other,” they stated simply, like Hero was supposed to nod and get on with their day.

Except Vigilante hadn’t thought to tell them, blindly trusting the villain.

Hero bit down on their lip, a worried crease forming in between their eyebrows. “I didn’t question it either. I ignored my suspicions, I could have and may as well die, or get tortured or whatever because I was too reckless! People can die if I mess up,” they stated bluntly, breaking out of the villain’s hold.

“Even if I turned out to be so evil, what makes you think you can’t fight back? Yesterday, even when you were drunk out of your mind, you punched that crude stranger that hit on me senseless without effort. No powers used. And, like everyone else, Hero, you deserve to have someone to trust,” they answered gently, cupping the crime-fighter’s cheek with their hand.

“I’d just met you,” they breathed out softly, shrinking in on themselves, nothing like the charismatic, daring hero from the news articles.

“Well, I’m afraid trust involves risks, sweetness, I don’t make the rules. And if I seriously wanted to torture you, don’t you think a dirty cell and chains would make more sense?” they quipped, hoping to release any of the tension.

Hero snorted. “Yeah, I suppose torturing me in a hotel room wouldn’t quite work.”

“This is my humble guest bedroom, not a hotel.”

The crime-stopper sneered at the word humble. Of course the villain had to be a millionaire. A mechanical engineer’s salary wasn’t supposed to be something to sneer at, but their boss was a bastard and hero work didn’t pay for crap. Not why they did it anyway. They guessed that this was revenge for when the hero had forcibly paid for dinner.

“For how long was I in your arms?” they asked suddenly.

The villain snickered. “I came to wake you up, and let’s just say you get quite clingy when you’re half-asleep.”

The bold redness of their face, along with its burning heat travelled down to their neck like wildfire. The worst part was that their greatest desire was just for the villain to hold them again.

Luckily for them, Villain pulled them into their arms again, the hero quickly relaxing into their touch as their shoulders sagged and the villain dissolved the headache in their temples with their gentle touch.

They nuzzled their head into the crook of their enemy-turned-lover’s neck, pressing a kiss to their cheekbone, only for the criminal to let out a soft laugh and kiss the hero’s hair.

Taking a risk is a far cry from what one would see in a movie; a rose-coloured promise of adventure. It is a structure built on trust, a gamble for a building material; either as fragile as glass or as unrelenting as reinforced steel. Yet sometimes, the instincts of even the least trusting person to ever exist will tell them to follow their heart’s desire because as strange as it seemed, love could leave you infinitely more intoxicated than a river of champagne could ever dream to.

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