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#(and I payed rent and bills like the adult I am of course)
vasattope · 1 year
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I'm a responsible adult until I'm faced with the opportunity to buy concert tickets
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straykeedz · 6 months
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Can you do a Bangchan x reader smut/fluff? Also, keep up the great work!
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𝒾'𝓂 𝓈𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝒶𝒾𝓉 🥺 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 @linosssss ♡
𝐭𝐰: 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐲 ; 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠) ; 𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐢𝐯 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬!) ; 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞 ;
𝐰𝐜: 3,7𝐤
-> 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝/𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦
𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭, 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐧𝐢 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞.
🏡
The house is full of boxes. 
Not just the house. Your house. The house you and Chan have just moved into. Literally just - considering you carried the last carton box inside your new apartment half an hour ago with the help of Chan’ friends. Your house - your dream has finally become true, and from now on you and Chan will be living together. Crazy.
Your eyes take in the small, yet welcoming living room, and a big smile spreads on your face. You can’t wait for the furniture to be here - which should be tomorrow, if everything goes according to plan. However right now, as you’re sitting on the hard, cold floor with your back leaning against the wall with Chan by your side and an empty carton of pizza on his legs, you can’t bring yourself to complain about not having a couch to lie down on. Or a table. Or a bed frame. You have everything you need by your side anyway - him. 
“Whatcha thinkin’ of, love?” Chan’ voice interrupts your thoughts. 
You turn to look at him, and find him already smiling at you - cute dimples and everything. How is it even possible, to be so in love with a person? 
“Just how much I love you,” you shrug, turning your face to look at him. “And how happy I am that we’re here, in our house,” you can’t help but smile widely at him. “It feels weird to say, our house,” you giggle.
“Good weird, I hope,” Chan teases, leaning in to brush your nose with his. He knows you’re as excited and happy as he is, you’ve both been dreaming it for a long time and now that it’s finally true you almost can’t believe it, it’s a happiness neither of you ever felt before. 
With you being busy with college and Chan always being snowed under work, there was never a good time to move in together - not to mention that neither of you made enough money to afford living alone. So you would live with your roommates and split rent, and he’d do the same, and you’d only see each other during the weekends - needless to say, the intimacy was pretty much nonexistent. But now everything’s different, and from now on you’ll have a whole place by yourself and you’ll be free to do whatever you want, so yeah, it’s definitely a “good” weird. 
“Of course it’s a good weird!”, you peck his lips, still a bit salty from the pizza he ate. “Gosh, I’m so happy…” you repeat for the millionth time today. 
“I am, too, love,” he bites his lip. “Like, we finally have our own place, it’s crazy!”, he places a kiss on your naked shoulder. 
It’s spring, your anniversary is approaching. This year will be your fourth. 
Four years sound like a big deal. Part of you is scared of what adult life holds for you: responsibilities, bills to pay, changes to face, ageing - another part of you, though, can’t wait to face it all with Chan by your side, the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. It sounds crazy, to think you’ve found the love of your life at such a young age, but you also know it’s one hundred percent the truth. He’s incredible, everything you ever wished for in a partner and so much more: smart, kind, in touch with his emotion in a healthy way, mature, and last but not least - he’s fucking great in bed. Like - fucking great. He’s a dream.
Now that you’re thinking about it, having a whole place by yourselves also means that you’ll finally be able to have sex whenever you want without worrying about your or his roommates catching you or interrupting you while you’re at it - like that time his dear friend Jisung bursted inside Chan’ bedroom while he was giving it to you from behind real good. And from now on you won’t have to worry about keeping quiet anymore, nor to lock your bedroom door. You could have sex in the kitchen in broad daylight if you wanted to. 
“Mh-hm, we have our own place, which means…”, you take the pizza box from his lap and place it on the floor. Then, you straddle him, and his arms immediately find their way around your waist,  pulling you even closer so that you’re now sitting on his crotch. 
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”, he whispers on your lips, drawing imaginary shapes over your clothes with his thumbs. Under your body, you can feel his cock beginning to stir inside his sweats. 
“That depends…” you place the palms of your hands on his chest, then latch your mouth on the skin of his neck. He sucks in a breath, and you feel his Adam apple bobble. By now, his cock is fully hard in his underwear, pressing right on your clothed cunt, creating the perfect friction against your clit, and he grips your hips, keeping you in place. “If you’re thinking of your naked body on top of mine… then yes,” you breathe out, slowly grinding on the bulge in his sweats as you continue to suck on his neck. 
“Oh, I’m totally thinking of you, naked, under me…” Chan breathes heavily, one of his hands moving from your hips to grope one of your boobs. He squeezes his eyes shut, when you let your hand roam down his body - down, down, down, until it reaches the tent in his sweats. He sucks in a breath when you palm him over the fabric, and he squeezes your ass. “You- shit,” he curses under his breath when you grind on his erection, “you want that?”
You keep leaving kiss on his neck, running your tongue all over his soft skin, leaving open mouthed kisses as your hand is pressed against his chest. “You’re seriously asking if I want to have sex with you after I’ve been grinding on your dick for the past five minutes?”, you quirk an eyebrow at him and he chuckles, pulling you closer, and it’s his turn now to latch his mouth to your neck, and you gasp.
“Just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page,” he breathes against your skin, then pulls you even closer, and you both moan at the friction his action causes. 
“Oh, we so are,” you kick your head slightly back when he sucks on that sensitive spot on your neck that he knows drives you crazy. His other hand, in the mean time, finds its way on one of your breasts. He chuckles when you let out a squeak. 
“Our first night in our home…” Chan mumbles while still leaving kisses on your neck, and you arch your back. “We should really do something about it, shouldn’t we?” 
“Mh-hm,” you hum in agreement, “You know what else you should do something about?” you wrap your fingers around his wrist. 
“What?” he places a kiss on your clavicle, right below the crook of you neck as he breathes in your familiar scent. 
You drag his hand all over your body, then allow his fingers to slip under the waistband of your sweats and your underwear, brushing your mound. He smiles and bites his lip as his fingers move to brush your entrance, but sucks in a breath once he feels how wet you are - panties completely soaked. “This.”
“Fucking hell,” he swears under his breath. “You’re so wet. How are you so wet? Fuck,” his eyes flutter shut as his fingers, damp with your arousal, circle your clit. You moan in response and let go of his wrist - he knows what to do. “You drive me fucking crazy, fuck. Sitting on my cock, acting all cute and stuff while you’re soaking your panties,” he mumbles, more to himself actually. 
Chan is good with his fingers. 
The first time he fingered you, you ended up cumming all over his digits only a couple of minutes later - and he hadn’t even touched your clit. He’s the one who introduced you to the wonders of the orgasm from penetration, making you cum and literally see stars just from rubbing your g-spot for seconds - which your ex never ever found in the first place, then around his dick. 
“Don’t make fun of me!” you pout, but are immediately cut off by two of Chan’ digits entering you, and you gasp at the feeling of his fingers filling you up. “Oh.”
“What’s that, hm? Cat got your tongue?” Chan teases you as he gives a slow pump of his fingers inside of you, hissing at the way your arousal coats them completely. He likes to act all cocky and stuff, but the both of you know that, the second he’s inside you, he’ll lose his mind. 
“Ass-“ you’re cut off by his fingers lifting your tank top, revealing your chest. Asshole,” you chuckle. “You know the effect your fingers have on me.”
“Just my fingers?”, he chuckles, before his lips close around one of your nipples. “What about my cock?”
He presses the pad of his thumb on your clit. You whimper, shaking your head. “All of you. All of you drives me crazy - the way you kiss me, the way you touch me, the way your eyes stare into mine when you make love to me- fuck.”
You hiss the last word when Chan bites your exposed shoulder and grunts. He keeps moving his fingers inside of you, at a much quicker pace, determined to make you cum, and it’s working, because you’re already so close. The pad of his thumb is brushing your clit with every slight movement of his fingers inside of you, and he smirks when he hears you let out a shaky breath - he knows your body well, maybe even better than you do. 
“Chan, I-“ you pant against his skin, one hand desperately gripping his tank top as your legs start to shake. 
“I know, love. You can let go, I’m right here,” he whispers in your ear, “I’m gonna take care of you.” 
Not just now, he’s always gonna take care of you. 
You release around his fingers with a muffled sob, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as a couple of swear words leave your mouth. Your orgasm washes all over you and Chan helps you ride it out, stopping the movements of his fingers inside of you only when he knows you can’t take it anymore - meanwhile, he presses soft kisses on your bare shoulder as you come down your high. 
“Are you alright, love?” He asks you after he’s made sure your heartbeat has finally slowed down to a much more regular pace. You hum a faint “yes”, and he slowly pulls his fingers out of you, wet with your sweet release. 
He puts them near his mouth and you know what he’s about to do. He wraps his plump lips around his own fingers and swirls his tongue all over his digits, determined to lick them clean. He hums as soon as his tastebuds recognize your taste. “Always taste so sweet, love. Here,” he pulls his fingers out of your mouth and taps your lips with his pads. 
His digit taste of your release and Chan’s saliva mixed up. You hum too, and he watches you closely with full-blown pupils and parted lips how you suck on his fingers, which were previously in his mouth and, before that, deep inside your pussy. Chan loves it when you’re filthy, but tonight he’s in a whole other mood - it’s your first day in your new home after all, he wants it to be special.
It’s gonna be nothing but sweet lovemaking tonight.
“Shall we take this to the bedroom?” Chan asks you, sucking a bright pink mark on the sensitive skin of your clavicle.
To call it a bedroom would be a euphemism, considering there’s just your mattress inside the room, together with three of four boxes. Just your mattress. Placed on the ground, in the center of the empty room. The furniture is being delivered tomorrow, so tonight you’ll be sleeping like this, although your sixth sense is telling you that perhaps you won’t be sleeping at all tonight. The mattress looks funny with the sheets messily wedged in under it, but neither you nor Chan seem to care about the sheets right now, not with how eager the both of you are. 
Lying on a mattress that’s lying on the floor isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but it’ll work for tonight. Chan’s hands are immediately all over you, his lips on yours within seconds as soon as you both lie down on the bed, lips on your neck as his body is pressed on top of yours, your legs wrapped around his as his hard-on brushes your clothed cunt. 
“Chan…” you whine, the friction between your legs becoming unbearable - you need to feel him without any layer between your bodies. “Take these off,” you huff, tugging at his sweats. 
He kneels between your legs, and you quickly sit on the mattress to take off your tank top. Chan gasps at the sight of your naked boobs, even though he’s seen them many, many times. His tank top comes off, then his sweats and boxers are next. The second your gaze falls on his hard cock, all you want to do is wrap your lips around its tip, then take the rest of his length in your mouth and milk him dry - his balls look so full, and you want nothing more than to taste him. That may be a lie, though, because you also want him to cum inside of you… you just can’t chose with him. 
“Take off yours now, love? Show me that pretty pussy?”
You slide your own sweats down the curve of your ass too, together with your damp underwear, and Chan bites his lips at the sight of the wet patch on your panties, even though it shouldn’t surprise him, since he was the one who made you cum before. 
“How do you want me?” You whisper to him, and he swears he felt a shiver run down his spine - you’re just so hot, and he loves you so much. 
“Just like this, fuck, you’re so hot,“ Chan grunts as his eyes take in your naked figure sprawled in front of him, legs open wide to welcome his body between them. “Want to look at your pretty face when I make love to you, want to see your eyes roll in the back of your head when I stick my cock in you,” he grunts. 
It’s true, you do it every time - it’s hard not to, when the cock’s this good. 
“What are you waiting for, then? Put it in,” you smirk, biting your lip. 
Chan pumps his cock with his fist for a couple of seconds, smearing pre-cum all over his tip to make sure it doesn’t sting when he enters you, although you’re wet enough to take him. His veiny hand looks insanely good wrapped around himself, pumping his length with a familiarity and a confidence only he can have with his body. You don’t miss the way his balls tighten, looking heavy and full, and you’re ready to take all he has to give you. You want him to empty his load inside of you - mouth or pussy, you don’t really care. His cock looks harder than before, tip pink and angry, the vein that runs along the underside thick and pulsating. 
You gasp when he gets closer and aligns his cockhead at your entrance, brushing your swollen clit in the process. “You ready?” He asks you, and after you nod, he pushes inside. 
Just like he predicted, you roll your eyes in the back of your skill at the feeling of his cock finally stretching you out. He sinks inside of you at an incredibly slow pace that makes you shiver and gasp. “Fuck,” you moan. He intertwines his fingers with yours as he continues pushing inside. It feels big, hot and hard inside of you. “’s big,” you whine out of pleasure. 
Chan’s cock throbs inside of you as he pushes another inch inside. “Yeah?” Then chuckles when you nod. “You’re taking it so well, tho, love. Just a couple inches left, you’re doing so good,” he whimpers. 
When he finally bottoms out, you feel so full it almost hurts - every single one of the inches of his beautiful cock sheathed inside of you. Chan lets his body fall on top of yours, pressing his bare torso on your chest and placing his strong hands at each side of your head while he balances his weight on his elbows. “You alright?” He asks, kissing you on the corner of your lips. 
“Feel so full,” you gasp, and he smirks, pecking your lips. 
“Does it feel good?” He asks you, brushing your soft hair with his fingers. “Because you feel amazing around me, love,” he whispers, kissing your cheek softly. 
“So good, baby. So, so good,” you whimper, “You can move now.”
You don’t know how he does that, but Chan always manages to find the perfect angle when it comes to thrusting inside of you. He starts by pulling almost all the way out, arching his back a little and then sinking back inside of you. It’s his turn to roll his eyes in the back of his head now, when he feels your tight walls welcoming him, pulsating around his thick length. It’s a slow thrust - the first one. A thrust that allows him to test the waters, a thrust that makes the both of you shiver. 
You arch your back and pelvis, allowing him to sink even deeper inside of you. 
“My God, love, you feel so good around me,” Chan grunts, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, then repeats his previous movements with his hips once again. “So warm, so tight…”
His hips meet yours once more, and a shaky breath leaves your lips - the way he’s moving inside of you combined with the hot, open-mouthed kisses he’s leaving on the skin of your neck are making you feel dizzy already. You wrap your arms around Chan’s torso, scratching his naked back with your fingernails - you hear him whimper and you bite your lips at his reaction, because you know just what to do to drive him crazy. 
“Wrap your legs around me, love,” Chan moans and you oblige, entangling your legs with his, pulling him closer than he already is until it feels like you’re melting at each other’s touch. 
His thrusts are slow, not rushed, reaching that deep spot inside of you that makes your toes curl and scratch his back a bit harder. His kisses burn on your skin, his swollen lips feel hot when he presses them on yours to muffle the sounds that escape his own lips - it’s the force of habit. For years the both of you had had to keep quiet in bed in order not to get caught by Chan’s or your roommates - now, though, you can be as loud and whiny as you want. That’s why you pull away from the kiss, then cup his face with your hands. He doesn’t stop moving inside of you. 
“I want to hear those pretty sounds you make,” you whisper on his lips. 
Chan is whiny. The softest whimpers fall from his lips as he moves inside of you, rocking his hips back and forth to meet your thrusts. It’s almost addicting, the way he sounds when he’s fucking you. He also grunts and groans, but it’s the soft cries he lets out every time he bottoms out inside of you that are your favorites, especially when he looks at you with those eyes. His chocolate brown eyes are fully blown, cheeks flustered and brows slightly furrowed as the pace of his thrusts increases. He’s getting close, and you are too. 
“Touch yourself, love,” Chan whispers on your lips, “‘M not gonna last much longer. Wanna cum together.”
You delicately push two digits in Chan’s mouth, and he sucks and licks them to get them wet enough - when you take them out, there’s a string of saliva that connects them to his lips, and it’s the hottest thing ever. You whine when your own fingers brush your clit, wet with Chan’s spit. Rubbing fast circles on your sensitive bud, you manage to get yourself off right before he finds his own release. 
“Look at me,” Chan whimpers, “Look at me when you cum, fuck.” 
You do exactly that, and when he feels you clenching around him, he finds his own release much quicker than he thought he would. Chan looks beautiful when he cums. Eyes rolled in the back of his skull, swollen lips parted as he releases the sweetest sounds, Adam’s apple bobbing as he shoots his load inside of you. 
“Fuck, love, there’s so much cum. ‘M cumming so much, fuck,” he curses under his breath as he keeps on releasing and releasing, filling you up to the brim until it starts to spill out of you, wetting the sheets. 
You place your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and he crashes his lips onto yours as he continues to ride out his orgasm as you play with his soft curls. Eventually, with a sigh, his body collapses on top of yours and he hides his face in your cleavage, chest rising and falling quickly. 
“Chan, baby,” you call his name after a while, “Can you hand me a towel?”
He nods, but as he kneels between your legs he realizes something. “Shit, they’re still inside the boxes, love.”
You smile at him. “It’s fine. It just means we’ll have our first shower in our new home.”
Chan smiles at you too. When you sit on the mattress, the action causes his seed to eventually drip from your hole, and when you look down, you find out the sheets are completely drenched in Chan’s cum. 
“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck, guilty, “maybe we should do our first laundry, too.”
🏡
-> 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 - “𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧” 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝.
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strniohoeee · 2 months
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Labyrinth
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader
Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?
Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤
Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding
Its early in the morning
About a quarter ‘til three
I’m sittin here talking with my baby
Over cigarettes and coffee
I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.
If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.
After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?
But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?
It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.
I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….
But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.
I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.
I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.
It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.
I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.
On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.
Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scruffing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.
Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.
“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble
Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.
Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile
“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down
“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in
I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.
After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.
It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible
Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.
“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around
Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away
Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.
“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him
“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me
“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board
“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way
“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit
“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display
“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly
His both opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes
“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head
“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense
“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge
“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen
Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.
“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen
“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet
“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system
“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders
“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him
“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes
“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head
Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items
“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head
Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.
Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious
“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture
“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down
“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in
“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated
“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen
“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door
“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen
“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes
“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied
“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them
“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee
Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.
As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.
It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.
“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back
Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe
I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.
“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out
I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.
Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.
Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.
Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.
I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.
Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.
Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.
Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.
I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.
“Shit” I muttered under my breath
Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.
I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.
Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.
Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.
Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.
Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.
Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.
I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin in the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.
Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.
I really needed to stop smoking.
“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me
My brows began to furrow as I took a drag
“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped
“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face
Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.
“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out
“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders
“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up
His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.
“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off
“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied
“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing
“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous
Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes
“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders
“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper
“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow
“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands out in defense
“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling
“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake
“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand
“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly
“Yeah” I replied awkwardly
“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said
“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him
Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.
“Right, we’ll have a good evening” he said and waved shyly
“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied
Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.
Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.
Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.
Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.
Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.
Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.
Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.
Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.
I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.
remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….
Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….
The End
Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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leafyaa · 2 months
Text
Chapter 15
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You woke up to the sound of your doorbell ringing continuously. Apparently it was already past 9 am and you slept through your alarm as well as several calls.
"Who could be at my door today out of all the other possible days you could disturb my peace." You groaned in annoyance as you quickly got out of bed to stop whoever was ringing the doorbell and ruining your mood.
You peeked through a window to see an all too familiar indigo haired guy with a bouquet of flowers.
"Kunikuzushi? What are you doing here?" You said as you open the door.
"I asked you to hang out today, remember?"
Oh right, you cried yourself to sleep when you were remembering Hikari. You forgot to text him back to say no.
"R-right.. Well come in I guess.." You rubbed your head as you let him in. He placed the bouquet on the counter and started to go through your fridge.
"What are you doing?" You suspiciously eyed him as he started to take out several eggs and a carton of milk.
"Making you dorayaki. Go freshen up and breakfast will be fresh and ready." Kunikuzushi offered you a smile of reassurance as he continued to search through the cabinets for ingredients.
Your suspicions dropped slowly as you realized he wasn't here to argue about going out, yet. 
"Oh uh.. Okay thanks?" You said and quickly hurried to your bedroom.
You were still in your kuromi pajamas so you really needed to change. Even though as an adult you still loved Sanrio stuff and no age could change that. Then you remembered your cat Maple who you haven't seen yet. 
"I probably should look for her after I change.." You mumbled as you grabbed some clothes to go to the bathroom. 
After 15 minutes you finally get out and walk towards the kitchen to see Maple hesitantly eating the food Kunikuzushi prepared for her. As she tried one little bit of seemingly tuna she immediately started to eat the food quickly as if it was her favorite meal. 
"Took you so long, I'm making some dorayaki. I'm also made some miso soup because you look like you need some." He nonchalantly said as if he was roasting your exhausted look from 15 minutes ago.
"Thank you I guess. " You sat down at the counter to eat the pancake Kunikuzushi placed onto your plate. Taking one bite your eyes immediately widens. The flavor... the texture... Everything tasted so perfect! 
The Kunikuzushi you remember didn't even know that you needed to add oil to a pan to bake an egg! But this.. Oh wait he has been cooking the whole time for you. You forgot. But besides that you remembered that you once were at his house which was ginormous by the way and that he tried making instant noodles for you and didn't add water to the pan for the noodles to boil. The egg incident was a week after that. 
"It tastes delicious.." You muttered and Kunikuzushi smirked with his back turned towards you. 
"Now finish up because I've the whole day planned out for you." And your pancake dropped from your mouth. He fucking tricked you with his seemingly innocent gesture to cook breakfast. Of course he did.
He took you to several places in the next coming hours. First it was watching a movie in a privately rented cinema with unlimited food (you forgot he was rich). However the movie was great, he picked your favorite one after all, and the food was amazing!
Then it was taking a short flight to Liyue- which you didn't even understand how he arranged that but putting that aside it was to go to a Kuromi themed café to eat lunch.
Then flying back to Inazuma to go to a kimono boutique to buy you a brand new kimono to wear which you wanted to refuse because it was 500.000 mora?? And he told you to not worry because it wasn't much. With that much money you could pay your bills for at least a couple of years!
After that he took you to an evening festival to eat some snacks and play some fun games- it ended up with you as the winner even though you swear Kunikuzushi purposely let you win. You did notice him being particularly great at aiming at moving objects which almost no one could win, not with ease at least. 
A couple games later the two of you ended up back in the restaurant where you ironically first ran away from him. Enjoying the food and unlimited service as you both started talking with each other about the old school days. Especially you teasing him about the adorable dumb stuff he used to do. 
And lastly ending up at the beach where it was rumored someone would be lighting up fireworks upon someone's request. The two of you ended up with two paper plates of taiyakis handed out by a familiar individual with strawberry blonde hair. 
Yoimiya’s birthday was today and you completely forgot. She used to be one of your closest friends when you got back from university. She was absolutely ecstatic to see you at the beach and kept talking about how she was going to set off fireworks even though you were pretty sure that was banned a while ago. But despite that you were happy to see she was doing well and embraced her happily back.
"The sky is beautiful.." You sighed as you ate the last bit of your Taiyaki. Kunikuzushi hadn't taken any bite to your surprise. You remembered him always eating the stuff you gave him. 
"I'm glad I picked a good day to take you out." He replied with a smile. His taiyaki was still untouched on a paper plate. 
"Why haven't you eaten yours yet?" You questioned out of curiosity. 
"Just don't like sweet things." This took you by surprise as you looked at him like he was crazy. 
"What about all the sweets I baked or cooked for you? You never complained about them! I-I didn't make you hate sweet foods right??" You stammered in slight guilt. Maybe you tired him out of eating so much sweet stuff.
He, in response, just chuckled and handed you his plate. 
"You can keep it to eat later. I was already pretty full after dinner." 
"Okay..." 
It was a bit awkward for a second. You lookes away to avoid the awkward tension and take a deep breath. Today had been a lot... And despite the overwhelming amount of activities you enjoyed today. 
"Hey Y/n, The fireworks are starting." Kunikuzushi nudged your shoulder, catching your attention as you looked up to see beautiful fireworks exploding. Yoimiya indeed set off fireworks as she had told you she was planning to do so.
"Wow..." Was all you could say as you admired the beautiful vibrant colors. Inazuman fireworks were truly the best kind in Teyvat, or maybe just Yoimiya’s fireworks. It was a long time ago since you’ve seen them but you just felt your eyes light up at the sight of them.
Festivals were almost non-existent since the Tenryou commission took over a decade ago, only the Yashiro commission could sometimes host them under strict rules from the Tenrou commission. You were pretty sure you would hear from Thoma how his boyfriend got in trouble because fireworks were set off.. but that was a problem for later.
As you were watching in awe you didn't notice you were getting closer to the water. Kunikuzushi, who was slightly worried, tried to gently pull you back, but that didn’t work of course. So he had to increase his strength to pull you back before you would wet your clothes and yourself. However he didn’t anticipate that you would fall over on his lap and that both of you would get so close to each others’ faces. Kunikuzushi blushed furiously while you bursted into laughter. Your laughter painted a faint smile on his face and he unconsciously pulled you into his arms, your face was buried into his neck and he was into yours. For a moment, time seemed to pause, the embrace you shared gave you a warm comforting feeling. Was it love?
As the firework show was coming to an end you stood up and dusted the sand off your kimono. You had your taiyaki in the folded plate and walked off the beach with Kunikuzushi. It was past midnight and he wanted to bring you home like the gentleman he was.
It was perfect as you were pretty tired already from all the traveling around.
"You sure you'll be fine? If you want you can stay the night in my house. I'll look for a spare mattress." You said as you got out of the car.
"It's fine, I just want to know you're safe inside your home. I don't need to stay over for the night." He said with a small smile as he locked the car. "Here's the plate by the way."
Oh yeah you completely forgot after taking a nap inside the car.
"Thank you. But if you do change your mind just say it and I'll figure something out for you!" You exclaimed while walking to your front door.
Kunikuzushi followed, making sure to look around for any suspicious people or animals lurking around the area.
Though you stoppes in your tracks, finding an envelope on your doorstep.
You bent down to pick it up and Kunikuzushi watched with curiosity, analyzing the appearance of the envelope. It was white, no post stamp, nor an address…
"Who would send me a letter today..? It's not like it's my birthday or whatever.." You said quietly as you carefully opened it with your nails.
Kunikuzushi widened his eyes as he noticed a well familiar stamp on the corner of the letter before you started reading.
"Wait Y/n I don't think-" But it was too late because you already read half of it.
You dropped the letter and envelope and almost fell over from the shock and disgust you are feeling at the moment.
You heard Kunikuzushi calling out your name but it was no use. Your brain was panicking and all you could do was pant as you dropped to your knees. You felt like you had to throw up. 
You immediately grabbed the envelope and found a single tooth inside. A small child's tooth..
"No.." A scream followed as you let out the most horrific scream as you clenched your fist with the teeth inside of it.
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⇠ previous ⭒ masterlist ⭒ next ⇢
Notes:
:p
Summary:
You've dated Scaramouche in your high school and college years but just as you wanted to announce your pregnancy to him he broke up with you without any reason. He left you to be a single mom for 7 years. But now that your daughter has been missing and abducted for a year and you've not been doing well and out of a sudden he showed up into your life again trying to apologize for his past mistakes..?
Taglist:
@swivy123 @kichiyosh1 @wwwrizchan @k1t0 @killumeow @pinkdreamerbailifflawyer-blog @samarill @xiaotopia @aqualesha @eattingshits @omoriaddict @mave-in @sketcheeee @xiaossocksniffer @elernity @ohmyfinggod @luvkvni @kunikissr @meadowofdarts @kaoriie @scaramochies @ekriis @rizakari @xxrexx @lovingveliona @magica-ren @lilybythevalley @theflatdoorkicker @lazy-sanns @reixtsu @fullw0rld @kunikuzushis-darling @childesgingerhair @kochothehoe @mercy-not-merci @ash1
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hippielittlemetalhead · 9 months
Text
So season 3. Let's do this!
This took so so so long and is not quite where/what I wanted it to be soooo... I am so sorry 😅🥲 this will most likely be 2 parts cause... Yeah, just life man.
Actually some dialogue in this one? Sure, a line or two, as a treat.
(Part1) (part2)
Steve had been working at Scoops Ahoy for a few weeks now and he feels like he's built a decent rapport with his coworker Robin. She's witty and snarky and opinionated and when Steve wears a more tinted lipgloss than he intended resulting in a customer clocking it and saying something rude that he can't help but smile his dead-eyed customer service smile at, she clocks out for her lunch early (and takes an extra 15 minutes) and comes back with a full face of makeup and shoos him into the back with the mascara she bought from the shop a couple stores over. They both start coming to work with at least mascara, eyeliner and lipstick and Steve loves it. He compliments the hand-drawn designs on her shoes and she asks where he got his rainbow heart pin. They mostly disagree on music they listen to -she still lets him drag her to a couple live music nights at The Hideout with him and Billy every now and then anyway- but their politics and basic life philosophies line up pretty well.
He could do without the 'You Rule / You Suck' board, especially when Billy gets in on it and adds tallies from a little notebook he starts keeping when he and Steve hang out outside of kids and work. And the jokes about his kids (and occasionally Billy) when they come through for free passage to the movies. And the jabs about his parents' money like he still has access to that or their house.
He doesn't tell her that he was cut off and disowned and kicked out. He doesn't tell her that he had to get a job to help pay for his community college courses because he was a disappointment that couldn't get into a pre-approved 4-year university and that meant no college fund and he was still a few years away from being 21 and having access to the trust fund his grandparents set up for him when he was still just a lump of forming cells. And even then anything in that will probably be blown on buying himself his own permanent place instead of just a hand-me-down trailer in the middle of the woods so he needs to save for things like bills and a mortgage.
He doesn't tell her that the reason he lets the kids get away with so much is because they're *his* and they've already seen more fucked up shit than the cops in this town (save Hop) and he'll be damned if they don't get to just be kids. He'll be damned if they decide he's someone they need to hide from and sneak around like they hide and sneak from Joyce and Hop cause that's how they didn't know about half the shit the kids got up to while the adults were doing their best to take care of things themselves. He doesn't tell her that he's paying "rent" to the chief of police (it's way less than he should be but it's all Hop would take).
He doesn't tell Robin a lot of things.
Then sometime after Robin finally warmed up to him but before Dustin comes back from camp, Eddie Munson walks into Scoops Ahoy, his metalhead nerdy entourage in tow. He orders a plain scoop of vanilla with sprinkles in a cup and one of the others also orders something small and simple (while longingly eyeing their diabetes-inducing, horribly artificial tasting, bubblegum flavor when Munson turns away) before all of them are squeezing into one of the largest booths, emptying out messenger bags and backpacks of overstuffed binders and scuffed up versions of very familiar looking textbooks. It's like looking at an older -slightly grungier- version of his kids.
"Gentlemen, now that 🎶school's out for summer🎶-" There's a musical lilt as he says it that sounds vaguely familiar to Steve, "-and it has been confirmed that I will in fact be held captive for yet another stint in the hell they call Hawkins High School it is time we confer and conspire for the next year of Hellfire and the little sheep that will be joining our flock." He kinda loses track of it after that because then his kids are rushing in demanding tasters of everything and edging towards the lifting part of the counter with a look in their eyes that speaks of mischief. He puts up the initial fuss about them only visiting him for his backrooms access and that they promised to only come over when there were no customers around. He lets them through anyway.
He notices Munson eyeing him as he puts the partition back in place shaking his head and Robin laughing at him as she washed their ice cream scoops. The one that's vaguely more familiar looking than the rest and reminds him of a taller, angrier, Dustin with a better hair regimen isn't quite glaring at him but is definitely paying more attention than the rest of Munson's posse and seems more suspicious than Eddie's curious.
The metalheads are still there when Billy shows up stinking of chlorine in clothes that are damp where they cling to his frame. The group loosens up a little when he shoots Steve his signature smug smirk as he shrugs on his denim jacket that -like Steve's own jacket hanging out of sight in the staffroom- had begun accumulating patches and pins since Neil's incarceration. Unlike Steve's, Billy's has homages to bands like Mötley Crue, Deff Leppard, Twisted Sister and Guns N' Roses with little trails of shakily embroidered flowers and constellations on the collar and hems and filling the spaces between the patches and pins. Billy also has a small pink triangle on the lapel where Steve has a rainbow. Steve pretends not to notice the way the group goes a little quiet as Billy starts his usual routine of sunnily demanding tasters of all the available flavors and then again with sprinkles to "-really get an idea of their ✨nuance✨, prettyboy" before deciding on a scoop of double chocolate with a scoop of raspberry vanilla in a cup with sprinkles and one of their fresh waffle cones on top. Like always.
"Really branching out there aren't ya, tough guy?" Steve keeps his face as stoney as possible but he can't help the humored edge to his voice.
Billy just winks at him running his tongue over his teeth as he gives Steve an exaggerated leer, "Gotta keep you on your toes, handsome." Robin fake gags and Steve laughs and Eddie Munson turns red as he stares at the two joking jocks. Billy goes quiet as he stares at his ice cream and Steve recognizes the look on his face, tells the blonde to go sit down in their usual booth and he'd be taking his break soon and they can talk about whatever's bothering him.
What's bothering him is Neill getting parole for 'good behavior', Jim only telling the Mayfield-Hargroves almost a week after he was let out because that was actually the same day he himself found out. Billy found out just before a summer basketball practice session and thinks he snapped at an underclassmen he's been trying to get to open up about what Billy is 90% certain is going on in the kid's home, but he knows that cops can't do much if the victim(s) refuse to trust in those trying to help them. He's worried about the kid he snapped at. Worried about Susan and Max. Worried that even with the restraining order Neill will try something. Billy tells Steve he had thought he saw Neill around the outskirts of town during errands or during his turn to haul the kids around a couple of times before Hop told them and now he's sure it wasn't just paranoia. Steve tells him they'll figure it out, reminds him he's not alone in this
That makes Billy smile, small and tired but real and grateful. His shoulders are still tense and there's still a wariness in the smallest crease between his eyebrows that makes Steve ask if there's anything else. They talk about some of the weird dreams Billy's been having that makes Steve encourage him to talk to El. Just to make sure Billy isn't going through what happened to Will the last alternate-dimension-go-around.
They make plans to head out to see the two Hoppers after Steve's shift. Come up with a basic timeline of when and where Billy thinks he saw Neil so they have something to start with for Hop. Put together an idea of how involved Billy wants to be in whatever plan Hop comes up with. They're interrupted by a group of girls swanning into the shop and Steve being yelled at by Robin to get himself back to work. As he gets up from the table Steve levels Billy with a look that makes the blond think about the way Max and the kids described Steve when they talked about how he fought off the pack of demodogs in the junkyard, planting himself between them and snarling snapping danger like Galahad himself.
Steve looks him in the eyes and says "I swear Billy, we're going to get through this, we'll take care of it and keep you and the girls safe. Hop knows what's going on and even Callahan can't get away with letting that piece of shit fall through the cracks after what he pulled." He leans in close and bites out probably louder than he should for the amount of people in the shop, "And if that fucker gets near any of you I've got Darling in Baby's trunk and I am not afraid to use her on a human shaped monster instead."
Author's (rambler's) Notes:
So, that's all I have for season 3 rn I am so sorry. 😭 I'm working on the next bit but I am so burnt out recently and now I'm unemployed cause of the ceiling at my job caving in which does not help the stress. So I unfortunately do not have a timeframe for you. 🥲 A couple of folks asked to be tagged so... Here you are? To be fair I'm not making any promises in regards to the taglist in the future, I will do my damnedest and y'all will have to bear with me.
I'm glad people are liking this and tbh this has gotten more attention than I expected so thanks? I appreciate the appreciation of my ramblings. Feel free to scream at/with me about this au in my asks box and I'll respond when/as I can. I'm just glad people are enjoying this. 🙃
@heartsong18
@knightofthieves
115 notes · View notes
m1d-45 · 1 year
Note
i am. thinking about reverse isekai some more to get me through these trying times (finals season) and imagine the stress of having to take care of the poor acolyte(s) who ended up in your world (i'm going with adult reader who has their own apartment and job and pays taxes n shit. just bc i don't want to write abt explaining to parents/roommates what tf is going on)...... like ofc it's super cool like omg your favorite characters!!! irl!!! but after the initial surprise wears off?
obviously you can't just leave them out on the streets bc they'll like. i don't know. get fuckin hit by a car or something so you let them stay in your apartment!! your tiny. one bedroom. apartment. it's fine, you can stay on the couch! you barely have enough food to feed yourself, thanks to your minimum-wage budget? that's fine! you don't have to eat that much, and you can't just let your guests go hungry!!
they try to help the best they can, they really do... but all the finished chores and time spent learning how to use the technology of your world don't change the fact that they can't help with the one thing that seems to matter most in this world - money. with extra people to provide for, you're forced to take up extra shifts, work longer hours, just to earn enough to be able to not have to choose between eating and paying rent.
of course, you don't let them know about all this, but your guests don't tell you that they can hear the way you cry late at night when you think everyone's asleep, stressed out by everything that's suddenly been thrust upon you - teddy anon
god man you 🤝 me
that’s so. ugh man-
at first you’re so starstruck and in awe, excitedly talking to them and showing them what every appliance does—partly so they don’t break them, partly because you like the shine in their eyes as they learn.
the first week is easy, and it’s when you’re shopping that the reality of the situation starts to set in.
you’re not used to having to buy for two, and the subject of their clothing comes up quickly as well. not to mention the fact that they’re probably used to more organic or locally grown stuff, and what if they react badly to food here? and that’s putting aside what they like and prefer too, but you can’t let them leave the house since they’re still not used to everything-
and your job, gosh, you’d taken a few days off at first to help then adjust but now you were feeling the sting of that lost pay. not to mention the fact that all your expenses and bills would go up since, yknow, they needed to use lights and water and all that while you were out of the house.
and if more than one were isekai’d? godspeed, man…
thoma and noelle make themselves useful doing chores, but quickly realizing that there’s little to do. they quickly become antsy; though they try and make food for you to return to, they struggle with your appliances and your tastes, not to mention your lack of raw ingredients.
some like diluc, childe, or ayato try and offer you mora, pulling bags of it from their inventories to of course compensate you for your stay, but it doesn’t go over well. you have to deny them and explain that mora isn’t used here, but all that gets you is stunned confusion—and dawning horror, later, but that’s a burnt bridge when you get to it.
others such as venti or xinyan try and perform on the streets, but it doesn’t pay as well as they want it to. ningguang is a bit more confident in herself, but that crumbles the moment she realizes that she both holds no power here nor has any knowledge of the market. she knows she can do something, be useful, but she doesn’t quite know how, and that’s the worst.
a few tend a bit towards the ‘street performer’ type, whether intentionally or accidentally. i can see kazuha subtly using the wind to guess a number someone’s thinking of, and kaeya could easily keep someone talking long enough to perform some quick sleight of hand. no, he doesn’t steal—you’d get far too mad at him for that—but his ornate get-up and smooth voice draw people in often enough that he makes quite a bit in tips.
keqing, ganyu, and ayaka all offer to either get jobs themselves, but since they technically don’t legally exist, they try and help you apply to better ones instead. thoma might try and do housework for your neighbors—it serves a few purposes, including getting a bit of cash, keeping off legal books, and increasing your relationship with them. jean and ganyu try and help manage your finances, or at least learn how to file your taxes to chip away at the stress they’ve caused.
a few straight up offer to steal—yes, offer, they wouldn’t even breathe without your permission of course they’ll come to you before doing crime—such as dainslef, childe, or kujou sara, but you shut that down quickly enough. xingqiu spends a lot of his time on online writing contests, and the occasional 50-300$ comes in your mailbox, but don’t count on it. albedo might try and sell his art, but he’d much rather give it to you, to be honest. your smile is worth more to him than some stranger’s approval.
some are completely lost. itto, gorou, hu tao, sucrose, collei… they’re all at a loss for what they can do to help. they don’t know your world, they don’t know what’s happening, they don’t know why you lie about it being a guest room so they feel less bad about taking your bed. it doesn’t work.
none of them do, really. after a good few months, maybe a year or so, all of them fall to this level of helplessness. they don’t know how to get you back to their world, they don’t even know how to leave themselves, but it’s clear that their presence here is wearing on you. they try, they do, but even the most chipper of your followers can see how dreary you seem.
it feels wrong to lie in your bed. it feels wrong to depend on you, when it should be the other way around. it’s wrong to take your resources and your time, wrong for you to be the one in distress, and they can’t even do anything about it. they’re stuck within these four walls, unable to help you, stuck being helpless.
from down the hall, they hear you sigh, poring over yet another impossible choice, and the sound alone brings them to tears.
they needed to get you home. but how?
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ataleofcrowns · 1 year
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I discovered your work recently, and pulled all nighter to finish reading all 9 chapters. I fell in love with your style of writing and all the characters, as well as world building. You are so talented! Thank you for your hard work! My question maybe a bit uncomfortable for you, thus you are free to ignore it if that's the case. I was wondering if you plan to add nsfw content or maybe make additional patreon exclusive like many do, or you don't plan on doing it at all? I definitely don't plan to buy it if you gonna do it👉👈 hehe
P.s sorry for my english, I am not a native speaker
This ask was from a while back but I've been thinking about it recently, so I thought I'd answer regardless!!
While I would like to publish adult content on my Patreon, the payment situation is making me a bit wary to commit.
I know other IF authors and erotica writers in general are active on the platform, but the unfortunate truth is that we're basically at the mercy of what the platform allows. Add to that the fact that my only payout methods on Patreon to receive pledge money are Paypal or Payoneer. Online financing companies have never been friendly towards adult content creators.
Ideally, I'd like a way to steer clear of any possible risks when I start to put out adult content. I know the primary target of censoring and banning have been online sex workers, unfortunately. Any adult content I would put out wouldn't contain anything that could be considered pornographic or problematic, but nothing guarantees these companies won't ban any and all adult content wholesale in the future.
I may be overly cautious, but the ambiguity of the situation is very frustrating, and I would rather not take a chance on something uncertain. Especially since I'm using Patreon funds to literally help pay rent and other bills while I'm in uni.
I even used the Patreon pledges from last year to pay for a whole year of classes. It's allowing me to continue to work on AToC in my spare time and get some benefit out of it, instead of having to get a part-time job on top of studying, which would leave essentially no time for writing.
Still, as I said before, the adult content that I would publish would be very mild. Sexually explicit, of course, but very romance oriented - it wouldn't be about kinks or fetish material, so I think I'd be safe. I'm leaning towards dipping my toe in it, maybe later this year.
Either way, I'll let you know if I ever decide to publish it!!
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sheogayrath · 1 year
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aaaaack ack ack i'm being negative
feels so alien to me reading posts from people in their 20s yearning to get out of their parents houses. the idea of moving out is really scary to be honest. i am so reliant on my parents for so many different things. i have gotten better over the past few years but you still have to show me exactly how to do something with an amount of specificity that most people can't even provide. having a job and paying rent and paying bills, doing things with the bank. those kinds of things. the way people talk about it surely there is some information i am missing. i don't even know how to ask the right questions to get the information i need. other people telling me that everyone feels this way has stopped being reassuring and feels more like dismissal. some of this is my fault in the way that you sometimes don't feel motivated to build skills when you're young that you'll wish you have as an adult. and my parents did a fine job of raising me but i still ended up in the awful habit of fumbling for a while when presented with a task that i hate and inevitably my parents (especially often my mom) just do it for me. which feels like a really stupid thing to complain about when so many of my peers had genuinely toxic or abusive or neglectful parents but it's still something. while i'm out she sometimes cleans my room for me and empties the bin and she makes phone calls on my behalf and books doctor's appointments and drives me places because i am neglecting learning to drive, oh god, i don't want to? i don't know how? i can't? i can't tell the difference. i don't need you to yell at me but i don't need you to do it for me. i guess i just need a push. the other day she was calling the bank about something and i heard her say something about me being autistic so it's hard for me to the person on the phone and yes this literally is true but i didn't like that. excuse me calling on behalf of my fail womanchild daughter. i feel like i'm even getting a stupid fake degree for babies. this is devaluing the work i do but it's still a thought i have and i'm writing it down. of course i chose the thing that doesn't involve studying or exams. my non classmate friends are like i am so stressed because i am learning about the way the world works by reading books. i have to take a test where they ask you to recall factual information. and me? i draw pictures. the average 15 year old is more equipped to navigate the world than me. all i want to be is a person who drives and does laundry. at least when i housesat for a while i was cooking dinner for myself and washing the dishes every night. at least i know i can cook. lots of people can't cook. well that's it that the post
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glimmer-nightshade · 2 years
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Tumblr peeps, it is now time I ask of you to help me with a current life situation.
Fiancé and I have been best friends for 5 years. During that time I’ve lived with my elderly grams and he has an apartment that he shares with his almost adult (17) son. His rent is relatively cheap for this area and I pay my share of utilities to my grams to help. This keeps out cost of living low. We live in an area of NY where rent is high, job availability and pay are low. But we both have very little family and they are all in the area and moving out is just as expensive.
We have been planning on buying a house together soon and both recently got pretty decent paying jobs so we could afford to really start saving. Also starting this month we were going to have set schedules so we would always have the same days off together. We both worked for the same retail location.
He was just offered an IT position that pays Pennies. Like he will barely be able to afford his bills and groceries, let alone save for a down payment or even afford a share of mortgage. He’s only had this better paying job for a few months so has no savings built up yet.
He decided to take the job even though I think it’s financially irresponsible because he wants to enjoy going to work, will work a Monday-Friday job from 730-430. Have weekends off. He can also go back to streaming after work.
I of course want him to be happy, but I feel like it’s a betrayal. Like we were just finally getting somewhere close to normal and being able to afford a life together and I was raised that you sometimes sacrifice present happiness in a job for future happiness and security. It just feels more like a single persons decision to work somewhere you know will make life financially difficult and I also have the mentality of “the grass is not always greener”.
So please give me your thoughts and feelings on if this were your situation? How would you feel? Am I being selfish? Should it have been a joint and unanimous decision? I’m trying to support him, but I just feel like in the end this isn’t going to help us and they we may drift apart as we will likely never see each other due to not living under the same roofs and having opposing schedules…
9/16/22
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a-shared-experience · 2 years
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How to be poor
I didn’t grow up in poverty. We had a nice house in the country and my parents worked either several jobs or shift work to make ends meet. We lived above our means and nestled in large sums of debt like mostly everyone I know. Somewhere between addiction, a broken back and unhealed trauma we survived drawn out periods of instability. They were fighters. I respect them for it while also respectfully am wounded from it. We wore the brands and mingled with the upper middle class while losing the value of security. Luckily, I inherited their fighting spirit. As an adult I also inherited the constant flow of financial ups and downs. Believe me when I say, everything i have in life, I’ve worked hard for. Long hours, multiple jobs just to pay rent and a phone bill, usually some drugs to create an illusion of happiness. To be fair I don’t have much to show for it. I have lived though, like truly lived. I’ve had those moments known as kundalini - where you are completely present and aware and ecstatic to be alive. One of my most defining traits is being resourceful. I scored a $300 Amazon gift card by switching my chequing account from one institution to another. I’m using it for food and art supplies while I have no income. Life goes on right - you live it or ya hate it . The way I see it , if I’m gonna pay a bank , let ‘em pay me for giving them my business . My loyalties lie within myself so what do I care if I have to walk left down the block as opposed to right to meet up with a bank teller twice every 4 years. One of my favourite ways to be poor is through volunteerism which before my accident I was so involved in that I had to keep track of my obligations and duties to various organizations and coworkers made me a “ volunteer “ award because my schedule left peoples heads spinning. I of course enjoy giving back to the community and helping out humanity because I’m naturally dutiful and restless and brimming with compassion but aside from that there’s really fun opportunities too. I work for nearly every music festival that rolls through town and even in neighbouring cities. Ive been beer garden security, artist relations , site crew , harm reduction, promoter, management, booking agent, tour manager, guest list, tickets, stage crew, even the girl who collects your empties and donates them to organizations working with at risk youth. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests , acquire new skills, network and have a fuck ton of fun at no cost. The first summer i was single in a strange city I saw over 150 live bands and god knows how many amazing djs. I’ve never really paid for any of those experiences but I knew I wanted to be there and also that I couldn’t afford it . In some ways I’m really enthusiastic about life , I’ve seen postings for gigs and messaged the production company or venue to see if they were looking for temporary workers or volunteers for the night- and I do work for it! It’s never really felt like work , maybe because I’m a capi rising and really just like control, power, intense work ethic lol I dunno. By getting in with various volunteer co ordinators I rose to the rank of being one for a major music festival in western Canada. I also became a team lead for two medical teams despite not being accredited, I got to take a reputable British dj on tour through the prairies which landed me an opportunity to start my own production company where the artists all agreed to work for less than half the cost, educate community members on music therory , ableton , and to interview with a local ezine and radio station which threatened a lot of people in the industry. I got to chat with big record labels and be the only girl sitting at the table. People would imply they were jealous of me from to time because I had a packed social schedule literally all the time. The thing was, I could have absolutely never afforded it but I was determined to experience the things I couldn’t afford.
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aboatwithlegs · 7 months
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An Objectively Correct Rewrite of The Arthur Finale
'Sup nerds and nerdinos, I have a problem with Arthur.
No, not Arthur Koestler (though no one with CBE after their name escapes my wrath on principle alone). I'm talking about Arthur Read, the autistic aardvark who dresses like an 8 year old Mr. Rogers and somehow still has more friends than you.
But my problem isn't with the twerp's fashion sence, it's with Season 25, Episode 4b: All Grown Up, aka Arthur's final episode. The very moment it released in 2022 the ground quaked, the oceans roared, the angels wept as the sky tore asunder and God Themself¹ decended to personsally task me with rewriting it. I said I'd get around to it.
Babies and mentlegen, that day is today because I have nothing better to do.
TW: SA, drugs, death, TERFs, student loans
The Correct Futures
The only thing you need to know about the old version is that they got old, cuz we're scrapping all of it aside from that. The adult versions of each characters was so far removed from the actual futures of these characters that I am personally insulted and have filed with my lawyer to see everyone responsible for it given a restraining order. So we gotta fix that. This episode here is gonna be a feature-length anthology film. Every character gets a 5-10 minute sequence where we see how the next 20 years of their life unfold. I'm gonna put them in alphabetical order because the only one who can tell me what to do is my talking cat. Oh, and remember: Habrá Examen, Langosta Perezosa! ***~~~*** ***~~~***
Alan "Brain" Powers: Goes to MIT and finds that, after being "The Brain" for so many years, he is suddenly just average. It's such a shock to his ego that he begins to instinctively lash out at everything he finds unfamiliar, eventually dropping out and becoming a moderately successful right-wing podcaster and youtuber.
Arthur Read: Our boy grows up to be a perpetual grad student (English major, of course). He pays the rent as a TA and is so terrified of the world outside of academia that he finds comfort spending quiet evenings in, grading papers from the comfort of his dingy bachelor apartment. He lives off instant ramen and spends most of his free time escaping into his books. He sometimes daydreams of getting a "real job", owning a house, and raising a family like his parents did, but dismisses it as too idealistic.
Buster Baxter: Eventually gets Diagnosed with ADHD and an Adderall prescription changes his life. He starts excelling in school and fixates on a dream of becoming an indie film director. At age 14 he is diagnosed with a brain tumor, and a few weeks after his 17th birthday his dying wish is fulfilled when his ashes are sent to space². Every year that passes his friends take a little longer to remember his name.
D.W. Read: Develops symptoms of BPD and a coke addiction. At age 16 she uses a fake I.D. to get a job as a stripper until her cousin Ryder recognises her mid-lap dance. She spends a year in juvie and drops out of high school. She drops by the Read household every few months to ask for money, but the rest of the time no one knows where she is.
Fern & George Walters: Fern and George marry when they are both 18, he takes her last name. She is a stay-at-home mother raising their two young children, writing BDSM-fueled erotic fiction while the kids are at school. George keeps the bills paid with a steady office job as a software engineer and maintains a healthy work-life balance to ensure he's present for his family. They've never left Elwood and wouldn't have it any other way.
Frank Frensky: Frank (still going by "Francine") goes through an extended period of identifying as a butch lesbian before finally coming out as trans-masc. When he finally transitions it involves cutting off his family and moving out of state to start fresh. He plays drums in an underground queercore collective and self-publishes a zine featuring semi-biographical comics about a young boy growing up in Elwood.
Jenna Morgan: Disappears under mysterious circumstances. No one notices for 7 years, which then sparks a city-wide furvor as everyone tries to investigate the disappearance at once. Later found to have not actually gone anywhere.
Muffy Crosswire: Dates Frank ("Francine") for most of high school. Muffy ends the relationship when Frank comes out as trans and gets deep into TERF circles. After graduating Yale and getting her LLM in constitutional law she enters state-level politics as an openly queer Republican. She uses LGBTQ+ and Feminist talking points to advance a far-right cryptofascist agenda and is generally considered to be "one of the good ones" by both parties.
Prunella Deegan: A naturopathic wellness-coach with extensive collections of both healing crystals and cats. Her entire segment is an extended anti-vax rant with hippy aphorisms sprinkled throughout. Enthusiastically voted for Muffy.
Shelley "Binky" Barnes: His mother begins an extended affair with Pickles the Clown, leading the already-distant Mr. Barnes to file for divorce. Binky is left in his mother's care, but she soon finds him too much to handle, especially with how little he seems to respect his new step-father. He is passed around various aunts and uncles for most of his adolescent life and begins to act out at school as a result, earning him a reputation as a troublemaker. When he's sixteen he attends a house party and finds Sue Ellen alone in a room with the dead body of a boy from their class. She frantically explains that he was trying to assault her and hit his head on something after she pushed him off. Binky opts to take the fall for her, stating to police that he punched the boy in jealousy. He is sentenced to 10 years in prison for aggravated assault and 3rd degree murder. Even while in prison he maintains a close friendship - bordering on romance - with Sue Ellen, but he insists that she not wait for him because he wants her to be happy and loved. A week after his release he is arrested for armed robbery. Officers report that the suspect seemed relieved when they arrived, and said something to the effect of "I'm going home".
Sue Ellen Armstrong: Sue Ellen becomes an ardent activist in middle school and is a regular face at demonstrations and community support orgs alike all throughout high school. When she's 16 a boy tries to force himself on her at a house party and she fights him off, accidentally snapping his neck and killing him instantly. Binky perjurs himself in order to take the fall for her. As the years pass, Sue Ellen gets burned out as an activist and instead works as a graphic designer for NPOs. She continues to visit Binky in prison and considers him her one true love, though he insists they can never be because she deserves someone who can be there for her. Sue Ellen never commits to a serious relationship, but does occasionally entertain casual encounters with older, often married, men. Occasionally speedruns Virtual Goose: Unleashed on Twitch.
Third Grade Male Rat #1: Killed in an altercation after sexually assaulting Sue Ellen. Is mourned by no one.
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No one.
So yeah, I think that's pretty much it. Make it hand-drawn, black-and-white, and have it on my desk in an hour kthxbi
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alto-viola · 10 months
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Reflection over the last four years. (Vent)
I'm still not over the pandemic's absolute destruction of my young adulthood. I'm not free loading - honestly think I pay way to much of a share of the bills - (I started paying rent the second I turned 19) but I'm still stuck at home. My family treats with the disrespect of a child and the responsibilities of an adult, just like always. It bothers me so much. My family relationship is still tumultuous.
I'm four years into my two year degree and I can't help but feel like part of the blame is on my college for failing to check on professors and students during the pandemic. Online learning was a joke and significantly delayed me.
I still can't drive, which here in America makes everything difficult. My family kept me from learning, spooked me when I tried, and now they're shocked I'm too scared to. Not knowing how to drive is such a bummer, because it makes me more reliant on my family.
I work from home three out of five days a week, the other two I go to a mostly empty office, which is a blessing. However I think I'm overworked and underpaid. I truly love my job but I have coworkers who do literally nothing and get paid the same as me because my boss doesn't check who did what for the week. I'm doing their work to keep our team from falling behind.
My mental health is still in shambles, and that's not great. I am reaching the point where I think I should go to therapy, as horrifyingly vulnerable as that is. My OCD has kept me from writing for fun. (I still write daily for work and school, don't worry.) But without saying to much, the OCD has grown into a mess bigger than I can handle alone.
I did leave my bad friendships over the course of these 4 years and for that I'm grateful. I haven't been dragged into a signal drama-flued fight in years, which is such a low bar but it's a start, lol.
I am getting more comfortable with being in public places. I think I am back to pre-pandemic levels of okay.
I am getting better at self advocacy and actually pushing for my disability accommodations to be used in school.
My [redacted] is out of jail and doing so much better. Even tough dealing with him is super taxing on me. I think he is trying to be a better man, even if it is just emotional manipulation. I really hope it's not.
So yeah, these last four years have been fucking insane, lol.
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sukajunin · 10 months
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28 club
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As I approach the cusp of my 28th year, I find myself in a familiar contemplation, attempting to rack my head for the perfect summary of the last 365 days. It’s as if I’m striving to construct an intricate mosaic, each fragment representing the lessons learned and the things experienced. Instead, the process feels more comparable to completing a puzzle where I have lost the guiding picture on the front of the box.
Every year I turn older, I try to do this - at least for the latter stages of my twenties - and I inevitably find myself at a dead end. I’m not entirely sure why I put so much pressure on myself to recount the past year, but perhaps the impending anniversary of my birth beckons me to ponder not just the present, but the past in particular. This inbetween connects me to the years gone by, a time when anything was possible, and life’s tribulations were yet to reveal its ugly truths to me. 
Birthdays always remind me of my fleeting youth, which is why I don’t find myself celebrating it much. Even though 28 is still considered a young age, I can’t help but to observe how life’s subtle changes accumulate. Every year, there is always something that puts my aging body and soul (gosh, I’m so dramatic) into perspective. From the obvious increase of the number of candles on the cake, to the decreasing number of birthday messages (because only the true OGs will remember your special day when you finally turn off the Facebook Birthdays feature). 
This year, I’m reminded that it has been a decade since my high school graduation. I’m struck by the passage of time and I started to believe that, for some reason, life was much better then. But more than that, I recognise that the fondness I feel for that chapter isn’t about yearning for the past - it’s a reminder that life is a fucking complex work of mosaic that requires both joyous colours and colours of hardship. 
Of course, only some small parts of the past were better because it wouldn’t be life if it were not met without its share of struggles. The absence of adulting responsibilities like paying rent and bills was great, but it was nicely balanced by the weight of familial turbulence (nothing like a good divorce in the family to really humble yourself).
Because the truth is, life can only be understood backward; but it must be lived forward.
This decade has been more than a journey - it’s been a metamorphosis, like Hilary Duff’s greatest album of all time. Each year, each step, has contributed to a deeper understanding of who I am and where I’m headed. It’s natural to linger on the past, to find solace in its known contours, but I’ve learned that true growth lies in embracing the unknown future.
Now that I’m closer to 30 than I am to 20 (damn, wow), the rearview mirror reveals a landscape of memories. There’s an allure in nostalgia, like seeing a Discman in a museum, which is crazy to say the least, but it can sometimes paint a rosier picture than reality. Remember: objects in the mirror may appear closer than it seems. Or rather, the past seems brighter than it actually was. 
But amid all this, I realise that the present often demands more attention than I grant it. It’s tempting to compare my trajectory to others’, especially in the age of “transparent” social media, but I’ve come to accept that my journey is uniquely my own. People like to tell me: “Can you believe it’s been a year?” And because I enjoy self-deprecating jokes, I add: “I know, what have I even done with my life?”
I’ve had moments of achievements and even self-discovery in the last few years, but it’s still human of me to question if this is progress and to wonder whether I’ve done enough. I have to remind myself that I’ve written a narrative that’s distinctly mine and what I consider as being “behind” might be different for someone else. Where are we going anyway? Is there a chequered flag with free-flowing champagne waiting for us at the end of this race that we call life? 
In a few days, I’ll gift myself not just another year, but a reminder to be present - to appreciate the beauty in the here and now, as banal as it sounds. No one is keeping track of what I have done or haven’t done, except for me. Even the setbacks have contributed to the bigger image of the mosaic of my life. The measure of my worth isn’t confined to societal markers; it’s a reflection of the person I’ve become, the lessons I’ve learned, and the thoughts and actions I’ve been exposed to.
So, as I pen this chapter and embrace another revolution around the sun, I offer a piece of advice to my younger, more stupid self: Trust the journey, for it is yours and yours alone. Embrace the open road of existence with curiosity and resilience. Happy birthday to you, and may you learn to love the future, and appreciate the present, as much as you do the past. 
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inner-solstice · 11 months
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I hope I get to go to Pittsburgh.. the football game and family that I haven’t seen in years, I’m so excited to be with. With our kielbasa and pierogi (which I recently learned are called cheese buttons) is an absolute dream. My dominant Ukrainian side.
I will not allow myself to think too deep into it. Vacationing with my family has become unorthodox with major falsified platforms and dynamics.
My other side, my dad’s side,
Grandpa, every day, - his dementia is getting worse.
I called him and of course all we could talk about are our usual findings and articles of Harvard..I have always known our obsession over Ivy and global university and their findings.
Anyways
He has his short term moments.
Watching him talk in CA was almost like a train going to the same stop a thousand times.
The dementia is getting worse.
I want to go be with him, stay with them like how I used to. Unfortunately now, I’m an adult, I have LITERALLY over a thousand of dollars to pay in medical bills, plus, everything else. I wish I was licensed in CA.
Primp and Blow has been great…they respect my time. They are aware of my availability.
With hiring unlicensed girls, they, of course, are always looking for someone who is licensed. However, I’m only there when they need me., and when I need them. I made it clear I make more at the office, but also gain more experience with hair whenever they need me there.
Idk… hair used to be my thing…my passion….
I kind of feel like I lost it. I mean I feel a little out of place. I used to love hair and makeup. Going to school for it was amazing, I’ll never forget it. The person all tatted up, renting a chair and doing blowouts and color and makeup for my clients used to be my succession. However, now it’s not.
I enjoy being at the office. I’m not just a secretary, I’m an assistant, a hygienist, a sterilizer and manager.
I get paid really well. I enjoy leaning more and more. Yes, it is family oriented, it is a job we’re I find myself having a lot of leverage, but at the same time, I work hard. I enjoy the patients, they enjoy me. We are family oriented and I’m happy where I’m at right now. Yes of course there are flaws, and given benefits, but just like any other job or career, there’s always something to talk shit about.
I have made a position to where I’m comfortable, but also get to pursue uncomfortable positions to advance myself. I enjoy it. Im so familiar within the industry that other offices want me. Money is tight in this economy, but I enjoy what I do, and I’m good at it.
I still love hair, I love the cut, the color, and the blowouts and styling. However, I’m not happy.
It’s a major thing. My whole life used to surround hair.
But yet again….I had to make myself uncomfortable to make money…it was not easy to conform to the office. In fact…I struggled more with them than any other career I had. I will never forget the learning experience.
Right now I feel lost…idk if I love hair anymore, idk if I even care about dentistry.
I’m leveraging whether or not I need to collapse myself in order to find order haha.
I went to school for things I thought I would find myself in….now…I’m not so sure….
I still do hair of course, but a majority of my income is out of the salon. I make less where I’m at, which draws me working more at the office.
A part of me just wants to move away. Move to where I’m not familiar with anything, no memories or opinion, nothing, and do something different.
I’ve been taking drawing classes. I’ve been drawing a lot….it helps.
It’s funny because I knew even as a kid that I always thought I consistently needed training in ANYTHING, just to live my life.
We grew up with elementary, middle, and high school. I left with NAU and beauty school thinking that I would be somewhere.
Here I am, almost 26, and no passion.
I have also thought of the divided thinking with my at the time partner..they always wanted me to purse hair and makeup. Yet…..again…..I found myself doing things that I knew weren’t right for me. Maybe apart of me felt pressured. Idk
I’m stuck right now. I’m lost with opportunity. I have finally found more solace in myself in a healthy way with running and exercise, but I miss the routine of purpose. No wonder people become nutritionist and gym fanatics. Nothing else makes them happy…which I totally get.
This is apart of the journey. I knew this day would come. Now I need to figure it out…
I’ve been thinking moving out of state..
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raggaraddy · 3 years
Text
Sugar Daddy turned sour
Request: Hi!!!! read all of ur works its all amazing cant believe ur new.. can i request for a yan sugar daddy taehyung x reader x yan sugar daddy jungkook. they found out that that y/n have 2 sugar daddies and they lost their sanity(as if they even have that)...Thank u and YOU GOOD,KEEP GOING💜💞💞💞💞😘😁
A/N: I don't know how to post a reply to a personal message yet because I am new and Tumblr deficient 😅 But I hope you like the scenario ^-^ thanks for the request 💜
Here for Part 2
Summary: Juggling two guys and getting everything you want from them has always been easy for you, and Taehyung and Jungkook are no exception. Or so you thought.
Trigger warnings: Mentions of non-con, assault, cheating, violence.
Yandere! Taehyung
Yandere! Jungkook
Sunday.  Taehyungs day.  
You open your webcam, checking your eyeliner quickly in the startup view as you wait for the Tae to pick up on the other side. He pops up quickly a beaming smile filling his face.  
“Y/n! Baby, I’ve missed you.” He’s radiant. As happy and as bubbly he always is. 
You go along listening to him excitedly run through his past few days, telling you everything in excruciating detail as he jumps from one half-finished thought to another. He may be an adult but he certainly has a young soul. The whole while you feign attention, your fingers continually fidgeting with the diamond necklace or the matching bracelet he had sent you a few weeks back.
“How was your weekend?”  He finally gets around to asking. 
“Not so good. I always have to work so much," You complain, batting your eyes at the camera.  
“You could always quit and come live with me.” He jokes-but not really. It’s a topic he has raised 3 times already.  And you have the same answer ready as always. 
“Daddy, you know I’m a strong and independent woman. I could never let someone else pay for me.” You pout, running your tongue over your lower lip while pushing your chest up a little to draw attention.  “It’s just my rent is so expensive. I feel like I work just to pay the bills.” 
In truth, your rent is already being covered by someone else.  But he doesn’t need to know that. 
While you continue to run through the fabricated details of your weekend, Taehyung is distracted, looking down at his phone.  You know what's happening. It’s like a game. And you’re winning. Your banking app sends a notification, letting you know that K. Taehyung has just sent you a payment. 
You open it up. Yep. That's rent for the month.  Or more, money for that new TV you wanted.  
“Oh! Daddy, noo.” You whine down the camera. “You can’t.  I am okay. Really. Please don’t spend your money on me.” You frown if only to stop the smile that is fighting to fill your face. 
“I want to baby. I have the money, and I just want you to be happy. Don’t stress about bills okay. I’m here.” 
Sometimes, it’s almost too easy.  
“Okay Daddy, if you insist.”
Tuesday.  Jungkooks day.  
With Jungkook it’s a much more straightforward transaction.  He has said he wants to pay for you and he hates the back and forth pretences.  He just wants you to say thank you, smile pretty, and give him all your attention.  
“Do you need anything more for the week?” He asks through the camera.
“No Daddy, you take such good care of me. Thank you.” You smile. 
“You still have the weekend of the 14th off?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.  Off-screen you quickly scan through your calendar.  
14th, 15th and 16th: Jk weekend.  
Hmm, that came up quicker than you expected. You try to keep your booty calls with them as far apart as possible. 
“Of course, I’m so excited! I haven’t seen you in weeks.” You say, it been less than 100% truthful.
“Months.” He corrects with a surreptitious undertone.  
“Where are we staying this time?” 
You always insist to stay in hotels. Because ‘your apartment feels too busy and mundane, and you want the time you spend with him to be magical and undistracted’. Honestly, you just don’t want him, either of them, in your personal space. You purposefully chose boys who live a few hours away.  It’s hard enough to keep them separated in your everyday life with them being far away. It could only get messy for them to know where you live and how to reach you in person.
You’ve certainly gotten smart at this. Arranging the two men into different days of the week, scheduling them into your calendar to keep them apart and unaware of the other. Both had specifically said very early on that they do not want to share you with anyone else.  And that you were all theirs. And while both of them seemed to trust you, you knew their reactions would be unpleasant, to say the least, if they found out about the other. 
Sugar Daddies can be so possessive. 
But while both these men are very handsome, money is better and more reliable than boys. And if they are stupid enough to spend it all on you, why should you care.
The week passes quickly and it’s the 14th.  Once more you find yourself in the lobby of a 5-star hotel. Jungkook arrived in town early and sent you a message with the room number. 
Time to actually work for your money. 
You knock on the door only to find it slightly open.  Entering there is a trail of rose petals lining the floor leading into the suite. All the lights are dimmed with a warmth of candlelight filling the room. This is so typically Jungkook. Pulling out all the stops to try to impress. 
Dropping your bag at the entrance, you close the door behind you and explore inwards.  
“Daddy?” You call out in a singsong voice. Your heels clack on the tiled floor as you round the corner into the living room. Jungkook is sitting on the lounge, one leg crossed over the other, arms rested up over the back. You smile at seeing him. You always seem to forget just how stunning he is in person. 
“Which one of us are you referring to?” A deep voice startles you from behind. You jolt, spinning to see Taehyung standing behind you leaning against the wall.  
Holy fuck. 
Your mind starts to jumble through what is happening. Thinking about what it was that might have given you away. Evaluating how much they may know. And planning your next move.  
Damn it.  You doubt you’ll be able to smooth talk your way out of this with Jungkook. He’s too direct and absolute. So you’ll just have to accept that that relationship is over. However, you might be able to salvage this situation with Taehyung if you play your cards right. Being defensive should do the trick.
“What is this?” You snap, keeping focused on Taehyung. “This is such a violation of my privacy! You keep smothering me Taehyung! See this is why I tried to find someone else to hang out with.” You stomp your foot. He would always wrap around your finger so quickly with the little girl act. 
“Ha!” He blurts out a short laugh in contradiction to how you expected him to react. “Wow. No, go on. I want to see where this is going.” 
“Do you think we only just found out about each other?” Jungkook pipes up, coming from the couch. 
You sigh. You had almost saved enough for a holiday to the Maldives too. But they seem to know too much. Fine. You can burn both relationships. They were starting to get too clingy anyway.  “Whatever.” You roll your eyes. You got all you could from them. Time to move on to the next.
As you shrug them off, Taehyung steps into the path of the front door. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” Both he and Jungkook start to close in tighter. There is a cold tone to his words. Something far too close to a threat for your comfort. Even in heels, both men naturally stand taller than you which usually wouldn’t bother you. But with an unsteadiness to your footing and a very short dress on, in a dark room with two men you have used and spurned, you are feeling even more vulnerable than you feel you should. 
“Move.” You order. 
A smirk on his lips, Taehyung lifts his hand up and backhands you, knocking you back a few stumbled steps. You gasp, your hand clinging to your cheek, eyes wide in shock. He starts forward, Jungkook intervening, standing between the two of you. 
You can not believe he just hit you! He has never done anything like that before.
“No, don’t do that.” He stops Taehyung as he starts to swing again.  Shaking all over, you’re relieved that one of them is seeing sense.  You take the outstretched hand of Jungkook, lip trembling from the burn on your cheek. He draws you closer and you wrap into him for protection. In the same motion, his free hand swings down punching you in the stomach, doubling you over, dropping you to the floor. “If you hit her head, she might get spaced out. I want her to feel this.”
His words send a chill down your spine. This can not be happening.
“Are you crazy!” You gape, trying to speak while gulping down air. Your head is dizzy, your lungs burning.  Kicking off your heels for better movement, you climb back up to your feet not wanting to engage either man. Eyes focused you look past Taehyung to the door, storming forward. “I’m leaving. We’ll forget all of this, okay.” You bargain through short, panicked breath. 
Taehyungs large hand slams you into the wall, pressing his palm against your shoulder. He follows Jungkooks lead, pounding his fist into your gut. And then again. And again.  His hold removes letting you free and you plummet to the ground, crying within broken huffs while cradling your battered torso. 
“You’re right. That is better.” He laughs at Jungkook. 
“Stop!” You beg, unable to raise your voice above a soft yelp. 
“What's wrong baby? You wanted two men. Now you have them.” Taehyungs bright smile returns to his face. This time with an entirely different meaning than it had ever had until it shifts into a straight, harsh look that you have never seen from him. “Didn't you always say you wished there was some way you could repay me?” 
“You said that to me too.” Jungkook joins his side, both hovering above you, trapping you between them, the wall, and the floor. 
Leaning down Jungkooks hand follows you as you squirm away from him. His fingers wrapped around your throat and lift you up, keeping you against the wall. He takes advantage of you being stuck, leaning into you pressing his lips to yours as you resist as much as you can. 
“Baby, you’re going to pay us back for every dollar we spent on you.” He snarls. 
Taehyung turns your face to him, also forcing a kiss on you. “Don’t worry, Y/n, you’ll see that we know how to share.”  
Part 2
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doloresdraws · 3 years
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‘When I look back on my life It's so hard to face you I never wanted to fight this fight I'm ashamed of the truth No, I don't want to hurt you, baby I don't want to hurt you, baby I didn't mean to hurt you, baby
God, I'm sorry’
When I look back on my life I never wanted this fight (I don't want to hurt you baby) If I could turn back time (I don't want to hurt you baby) I would make it alright (I don't want to hurt you baby)
I love you, I love you sunshine’
Unbelievable, but I painted something new and even managed to finish it in two sittings.
Finally a proper painting of my Sabbat Nosferatu character Fox for our upcoming Sabbat game set in San Francisco. Since his story didn’t start yet I can only share something about his background.
Fox came to San Francisco from a small town in Ohio to escape a brewing unhappiness and resentment towards his mother and responsibility of caring for his two younger sisters that in his eyes slowed him down. He was tired of having to act like an adult in his family and also having to endure the looks and gossips of his classmates, because everyone knew what his mother did for a living to be able to take care of her three kids.
He had these naive dreams that living in California will bring him more and better opportunities to make good money and to live the life he often saw on tv growing up. He really wanted to become something, to prove his mother that you can get money with honest, not self-degrading work. He really hoped that he will be able to earn enough money to ensure that his sisters will never end up in the same line of work as his mother.  Of course the reality was not quite how he imagined, he struggled to find work at first, having to even spend a few nights sleeping in the park, but with his determination and eagerness to do just almost any work he was able to find various construction work and other small odd jobs to sustain his basic human needs. A lot of his colleagues were of Mexican and Venezuelan origin and through daily socializing with them he actually picked up some Spanish. He was still looking for a better, stable job but even though he often had little money to go on, he was adamant to stay clear of any criminal work. After about 6 months he was able to secure a job as the sewage treatment plant worker, it wasn’t as glorious work as he dreamed of and the surroundings were often very unpleasant, but he hid his pride and put his best efforts to do his job well. He quickly became very good at it and was even promoted, with the extra money he was able to rent a small apartment.Although far from how he imagined it, his life for the next few years was quite good, he managed to find himself a girlfriend and was planning to get marry to her, the biggest problem was that Gloria was in the US illegally, so he had to figure out how to make it happen.
Unfortunately everything changed when Fox got into an accident during his work when a gas pipe exploded and a fire had started. He was one of the few people injured, but unfortunately for Fox, he was the one who got the most severe burns that covered about 40% of his body, unfortunately also his lower half of the face, neck and hands. After this accident his life spiraled quickly, his company had friends in higher places, so instead of paying for health bills of their workers, they actually scapegoated Fox and sued him and his group of workers for the accident. He had no money for a fancy lawyer, so he lost the case, together with his medical bills his debts started piling up. His personality changed, he was angry or didn't speak at all for days. Gloria tried to help him and tried to be by his side, but he hated the fact that he could see the pity on her face whenever she looked at him. So he really started being mean to her so she would leave him alone, right now he didn't want anyone around. One day it got out of hand and he pushed her out of the door and told her never to come back, that she should get back to her Taco country or something offensive like that. He also managed to shout some Spanish insults at her, his words really hurt her as she ran away with tears.After a few days he felt really bad for breaking the things between him and Gloria in such a horrible way. He knew deep down that he needed her and wanted her by his side, even if it hurt to see how she looked at him, he knew that she was worth it. She actually never showed him where she lived before, so obviously the only places to look for her were the areas where she used to work. He hated to go outside and interact with people as they would always look at him the same, with pity and disgust, but he wanted to try to make up with Gloria. Yet when he asked in the bar the manager said that Gloria didn’t come to work in a last few days. He then went to ask around in the market she used to help and one of the women there told him that two days ago there was a police investigation and that they took a lot of people without proper papers away and that Gloria was among them.
Once again Fox felt absolutely helpless, she was probably detained and ends up deported back to Mexico and there is nothing he can do about it. He had no money, he didn’t even know where exactly she was. That night he bought a few bottles of tequila, drank as much as he could before he felt sick and threw up, which fucking hurt as all of his scars weren't fully healed yet. He hated himself, it was his fault she ended up on the street and now she is gonna end up back in Mexico with her last memories of him will be him yelling all this horrible shit to her face. He was ashamed of himself.
After this his life got even worse, now he had no emotional support, no friends, no job, painful scars that made him look like a monster. He usually spent his days staring at the ceiling, he couldn't really drink much as it was just too nasty, so he just existed for a while. His debts forced him to find work, but he couldn't do physical jobs he was used to anymore, he managed to find some odd jobs, probably because people felt bad for him which he resented. He even worked in 7/11 store, but all of his jobs were just temporary, he couldn’t keep any of them for more than for a week. It was not that his employers were unhappy with him, but Fox couldn’t just stand all the stares and pity looks he got from his employers, coworkers and customers. It didn't take long and he couldn’t keep up with the rent and when he lost the apartment, he became homeless. He could of course get back to his mother, but he actually didn't even notify neither him or his sister about his accident, he didn't want to be a burden and also he had too much pride to ever getting back to that shitty small town. All he wanted was to hide from people, to be spared of their pitiful glances and their talk about how strong he was. He wasn’t strong, he was a shitty, pathetic person who abandoned his family, resented his own mother, he failed his sisters and he treated the person that he loved as a Punchbag for his spite and insecurities, and now she will probably end up in some kind of human trafficking ring, because of him.
I will talk about his Embrace in more detail in some future post, but basically he was a shovelhead who somehow managed to get a chance to prove himself to the Sabbat. Although he loves his pack( some more than others) he still isn’t quite convinced by the Sabbat’s ideology, his biggest difficulty being the ever-present unnecessary violence, he still tries to cling to the last bits of humanity inside of him and that often leads to dissatisfaction from the Bishop and thus reflecting badly on his pack. He is torn between trying to fit in and wanting to measure up to his fellow Cainites and to do what feels right in his heart…
I am honestly very excited to finally play a Nosferatu. ❤
Fox © me/doloresdraws lyrics  ©  Hurt by Meg Myers
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