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heartpascal · 1 year

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weight too heavy to hold alone

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: joel’s life in jackson is much more complicated than he thought it would be

▹— a/n: HEY. im not back just yet but thought i’d drop in to give yall this idk!! just something ive been working on between revision yk. hope you enjoy!

▹— warnings: angst, references to death of a child, references to past trauma (very brief, very vague reference, barely there), comparisons to dead daughter (but IS written as gender neutral i think, just behaviour wise), feeling unwanted and unloved

▹— tags: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

MASTERLIST

howl’s song recs

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It was meant to be a temporary thing, that was what Tommy had told Joel. It was the whole reason he had agreed, the whole reason he had relented to having you in his new home, sharing a room with Ellie just down the hall from his own.

Joel should’ve known, really. His and his brother’s versions of temporary were incredibly different, much like night and day, water and oil, hot and cold. Where Joel’s idea of temporary was a few days, at most, Tommy’s was, apparently, a couple of months. But what could he do? You were already here, already settled in on your side of Ellie’s room, with a mattress upon the floor and the bag filled with your things set beside it.

The first few days, Joel had been so on edge he couldn’t sleep, waiting for the moment Ellie made a peep, made the slightest inclination of being uncomfortable in your presence. He was half waiting for you to full-blown attack the two of them, after all, it wouldn’t have been the first time such things had happened to him and Ellie.

But you never did.

Your presence eventually became so… quiet that it was unnoticeable. You would leave the house before Joel and Ellie even thought about waking up, and would only return when they were either busy eating dinner, or already fast asleep in bed. It seemed like you did your absolute best to avoid the two of them.

It was only when he jumped up from his dozing, hearing the faint murmur of Ellie’s voice down the hall, that he clocked on to your presence again. Perhaps it was wrong, morally, for Joel to have crept down the hallway, shiv clutched in an untrusting hand, but who could’ve blamed him? He had done everything in his power to protect Ellie for a long time, by then. And he’d agree that you were young, that he was too harsh, but he’d already lost a daughter once. He wasn’t keen to go through that again.

The shared laughter was what stopped his hand from reaching towards the doorknob. It was quiet, and suddenly Joel was back in his thirties, listening to Sarah and her friends snicker and whisper in her bedroom, the door slightly ajar just to appease him. It had been nearing midnight, back then, Sarah’s birthday coming to a close, and it had also been the first time he had allowed her to have girls and boys over.

He blinked, and came back to the reality of where he was, of what he was holding, of who was on the other side of the door. Joel had only listened for a moment longer, another shared giggle making the tension slide from his shoulders, and it wasn’t long before he was back in his own room, door ajar, shoving the shiv underneath flannels in a shoddy chest of drawers.

Joel could remember that it wasn’t too long after that night that you had joined him and Ellie for dinner, for the very first time. It had been an awkward affair, and it reminded him of the first few times he and Ellie had shared a proper meal together in their new home. You were vaguely uncomfortable the entire time, shooting Ellie looks that you didn’t know he had noticed. Her only response was a snicker, though Joel would’ve guessed from the thunk underneath the table that you had placed a well-aimed kick against her shin.

Still, after dinner, you spoke to him for one of the first times. There had been the introduction when Tommy had brought you over, of course, but this was willing on your end. “Thank you,” You had told him, though didn’t make eye contact. “For dinner, and well, yeah.”

He had nodded at you, a tense smile on his lips, but it was a friendly gesture. Or, as friendly of a gesture as Joel could muster. He remembers the way you had scurried up the stairs almost immediately after, having stuck around only to help clean up and give your thanks.

You started joining them for dinner more after that, though Joel had the suspicion that the first half a dozen times were at Ellie’s command. But with time, and some patience, you warmed up to him just as you had to Ellie. You spoke more, asked more questions, even cracked a few jokes that he was sure you had gotten from one of Ellie’s books. It surprised him how… relieved he was to see the break in your awkwardness.

It had been the first time Joel had seen you with Tommy outside of when he had dropped you at his and Ellie’s that he realised you had a lot more warming up to do than he had thought. There you were, walking at Tommy’s side, chatting animatedly, hands flying around in gestures, face lit up like Joel had never seen before, and all the while Tommy only shook his head, fond smile on his face. There was a certain warmth on Tommy’s face that Joel had only seen when his little brother had been looking at his newborn child, and he couldn’t help but wonder why he had dropped you off at Joel’s if he felt that way? If he saw you as his own?

He tried to ask him those very questions more than once, but each time he found himself somewhat afraid of the answer he’d receive. Joel knew his little brother had always looked up to him, after all, that tends to happen when you practically raise the kid, but after everything… Joel found that he didn’t think he could live up to Tommy’s expectations of him any longer. Maybe, even if Joel would never admit it out loud, he didn’t want to see Tommy realise he couldn’t live up to the idealised version of himself his little brother saw him as.

It was already hard enough with having Ellie — the weight of everything he had lied to her about was tangible, an iron fence putting distance between the two of them. He tried to ignore it. Ellie did, too, but the truth was that she had lost some amount of trust in him. He saw it in the crease of her brows when they spoke, the slant of her lips when he left for patrol, hell — even in the way her gaze changed when she looked at him. It was like she saw somebody she didn’t quite recognise.

Joel felt like he was fighting a losing battle. He’d steel himself before dinners, he’d harden his features before coming home from patrols, he’d even lock himself in his little studio. And yet each time he saw you, there was an unmistakeable softness brought to his features, reminiscent of how it felt to look at Ellie. Each time you would come to him for help, he’d remind himself that he couldn’t be the person that everybody needed him to be. He’d remind himself that he would never — could never — be the person you so clearly wanted him to be.

Because it was more than obvious. Joel wasn’t blind, even if his sight wasn’t what it used to be. He could see it in the way you looked to him for help, in the way you’d heed his advice like you never doubted he could be wrong about something. It was clear in the way you looked at him, like he had the ability to carve the world into whatever he desired, like he possessed a strength you didn’t. You looked at him as if he could save you, and the truth was that Joel couldn’t even save himself.

He was an old man, a foolish man. Joel drowned in guilt he had brought upon himself, liquid a kind of heaviness that settled into his aged lungs. When he looked at you, he saw Sarah. He saw the resemblance in the way the both of you looked out for him — where Sarah had often cooked breakfast, you scraped together some form of dinner when he was on a late patrol, where Sarah had forced vitamin-rich drinks into his hand, you placed painkillers — that must’ve cost a fortune to trade for — on the kitchen counter when he hurt his knee on a patrol. He saw it in the way you looked up to him, the way you believed in him, and it’s like a mirror image of the night his life went to ruin. A reflection of his daughter dying in his arms each time you looked to him for safety.

What could he provide? What could Joel provide that Tommy couldn’t? Hell — that anybody couldn’t? Perhaps, he wondered, the guarantee of disappointment.

“So,” Tommy started one night, sat by his side at the small bar in town, eyebrows raised as he held a glass of twenty-two year old bourbon. “How’s life with the kid? Handlin’ two kids?”

Joel vividly remembers his response, despite his lowered tolerance for alcohol and the multitude of glasses he’d had that night. “You ever gonna get that kid a new place? Not my responsibility to look after your goddamn strays, y’know.” His voice had been gruff, harsh. He thinks, looking back on it, that it digs the pit of regret in his stomach deeper.

“They givin’ you trouble, or something?” Tommy had asked, all furrowed eyebrows then, an expression of something close to disbelief on his face. “Been a good kid, as long as I’ve known ‘em.”

“They’re a good kid, alright, just not my kid.” Joel had replied, scornfully. It was a low blow, he knew now, but he could remember the pounding in his chest, blood rushing through his ears, when he heard you yell out one night. It had been a bad dream, not that you’d admit to it, but Joel was familiar. He could’ve sworn his heart was going to stop that night, the way adrenaline rushed through him, the way he had leaped from his bed as if expecting to have to defend you and Ellie from an onslaught of attackers.

Tommy scoffed in response, and he had averted his eyes, looking away from his older brother as he took a sip of the alcohol that was warming his veins. “Y’know what? I’ll get ‘em a new place, and when it breaks their goddamn heart, I’ll let ‘em know the reason why you wanted them out. Not my kid.” Tommy had shaken his head, and had bid him goodnight soon after. Joel remembers drowning the sting the conversation left him with using decades-old booze.

Now, Joel can pretty confidently say that Tommy hadn’t been looking to get you a new place until that conversation. It wasn’t more than a few weeks after that that you came home with a frown marred across your face, returning much later from canteen-duty than usual. He had been walking to the hall to grab his boots when you had gotten in.

Your expression had only deepened further as you practically stomped into the house, kicking your unlaced boots off in the hallway. “You alright, kiddo?” Joel had asked, brows creased, and he remembers the way the movement reminded him of his younger brother.

“’M fine.” You had muttered out, all stormy expression and blunt words. Joel only tilted his head at you. “Tommy stopped by, said they’re gettin’ me a new place across town. Nearby the school.” You had told him, and your expression was almost hopeful as you waited for his response.

“Oh,” Joel had uttered, expression blank for a moment as he nodded his head, almost mindlessly. “Well, that’s good, right?” He responded, eyes studying you almost cautiously. If he hadn’t been looking, he probably would’ve missed the way your face dropped at his response, as if you had been hoping for him to say something else. Instead, you had let out a quiet scoff, before stomping away with a ‘sure’ said lamely back to him. Joel had looked after you, face plastered with confusion, but his mind had known, even back then, the reason for your disdain. Instead of going after you, of saying anything more on the matter, Joel had foolishly just wiped a hand across his face, and had murmured, “Teenagers.”

For the days after that, you seemed withdrawn but hopeful, as if Joel would finally voice what you had been waiting to hear. He didn’t see much of Ellie, who had made more friends her own age, including some girls named Dina and Cat. Apparently, you weren’t in on that friendship. Which had left you at the house with him, the crease between your brows getting deeper each time things remained silent.

Still, Joel was firm. This was what was meant to happen all along. You were never meant to be a permanent fixture of their lives.

So when the day was finally upon them, Joel accompanied you and his younger brother to your new place, carrying your backpack over one of his shoulders. He had tried to ignore the itchy, uncomfortable feeling in his chest.

“It’s a nice place.” Joel had commented, when the silence stretched for far too long, looking around the studio-like bungalow. It was a converted garage, much like what Ellie was going to have in his back yard, whenever the team could help Joel finish converting it. He was almost surprised when Tommy brought them here, however. For whatever reason, Joel hadn’t thought about the fact that you’d be living alone.

“Yeah, it’s great.” You responded flatly, picking at the cover on what was meant to be your new bed almost absently. Joel dropped your backpack beside the door, nodding his head as he took it all in. You tried not to scoff. “You know Joel, I think it’d be better for me to settle in. Alone.” You said, voice just a step away from miserable, expression blank as you looked at him, at the way he nodded his head, seemingly resigned to this conclusion.

“Sure thing, kid.” Joel sighed out, looking back in when he was stood in the doorway. He tapped his knuckles against the doorframe, opening his mouth to say something, but stopping before anything came out. Instead, he had just nodded, leaving with his hands in his pockets.

He returned to a quiet house, Ellie once again somewhere in town with Dina and Cat, having missed your moving day. Joel quickly found that the silence, the emptiness in the house, was uncomfortable. He hadn’t truly realised just how used to your presence he had gotten. Still, this was for the best. Joel didn’t need another kid on his hands. He’d failed more than once, and that was telling enough. He still couldn’t figure out why Tommy had brought you to him in the first place!

Joel didn’t see you for two days afterwards, though he had asked about you, cornering Tommy and demanding to know how you were settling in. It was unsettling when Tommy had only shrugged, expression harsh and unforgiving.

When he finally did see you again, it was at the Tipsy Bison, where he was sipping at amber liquid, waiting for his younger brother to finish talking to someone down the other end of the bar. “Joel!” You called out, immediately drawing his attention. He stood from the stool he had been sat on, brows creased in concern, drink abandoned on the wooden bar top.

“Everythin’ alright?” He asked, confused and concerned all at once.

“No!” You yelled immediately, seemingly outraged by his question, your features practically collapsing in on themselves. You pointed an accusatory finger at him, and he didn’t miss the way your hands trembled. “You asked them to move me!” You accused, and Joel quickly realised that this was the first time he had seen you outwardly upset. Every other time, your expression had been made of stone, voice cautiously flat. Now, here, your features were like clay, looking as if you had reshaped them over and over, trying to resist the slant of sadness that took over them. There was a distinctive gloss across your eyes, shining and trembling as you tried to force the tears away. “Admit it, Joel! You wanted me gone and you didn’t have the guts to tell me.”

Joel sighed, rubbing his fingers across his brows, pinching at the bridge of his nose. He glared across the bar at where Tommy was observing, false innocence on his face. He was quick to notice that Tommy wasn’t the only one watching, eyes on the two of you as you waited for his response expectantly. “Kid, it was always a temporary thing. You knew that.” He said, hands on his hips as he shifted his stance.

Clearly, that wasn’t the response you wanted to hear, your features falling further, crumpling downwards, and Joel frowned. “It’s not fair.” You said, voice breaking off halfway through, and you swiped your sleeve across your nose, rubbing tears away from your eyes with your fingertips.

“Life ain’t fair, kid, that’s the truth of it.” Joel responded, looking at your face as if your expression held answers to a question he hadn’t asked. “I’m sorry. But you got your own life now, your own place, you can live however you want. Doesn’t sound like a bad deal to me.”

“I don’t want any of it.” You told him, brows furrowed, the crease between them so deep that Joel was sure it was going to become a permanent fixture of your face. His own frown deepened when you blinked and tears marred your cheeks. “It’s not fair,” You repeated, hand outstretched as if you were reaching for him. “Why do I have to be alone?” You asked, and Joel’s face fell, clearly not expecting that question.

Tommy chose that moment to intervene, stepping in between you and Joel, glancing back at his older brother before focusing his full attention on you. He murmured words that Joel could only presume were reassurance. Joel noticed Tommy’s guiding hand on your shoulder as he led you out of the bar, neither of you glancing back. He ignored the stares on him as he turned back to the bar, finished his drink, and left, going home.

He encountered the two of you just down the street, sharing quiet words that seemed harsh even from a distance. Joel thought about turning back, but found himself approaching cautiously.

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel repeated his earlier question, hands outstretched when the two of you turned to him, the setting sun throwing a shade of orange across both of your faces. You openly glared at him, eyes squinted in a show of unrelenting anger, or maybe, more accurately, hurt.

“Go back inside, Joel.” Tommy told him, sounding nothing short of exasperated between dealing with you and dealing with Joel. He sounded tired, too. “Better yet, go home!”

“Listen,” Joel sighed, trying to reach some form of a truce. You cut him off when he opened his mouth to continue.

“No, Joel, Tommy’s right. Go home. I’ve heard enough.” You said, almost scoldingly, and Joel felt as if he was talking to Sarah again, as if it was her telling him off for something. He tried not to think of that last night, of the cake he’d forgotten, of the watch she’d gifted him, but a glance down it said watch reminded him of his failures. “I’m not your kid, remember?” You reminded him, throwing the words he’d said to his brother back in his face. At least this time, Tommy had the idea to look somewhat guilty for telling you that tidbit of information.

Joel frowned at you, cursing himself for his past words. He didn’t want to hurt you. Hell, that was the whole reason he wanted you gone! Joel was trying to protect you from him, from his inevitable failure. He had never really considered that perhaps this was his failure, that perhaps isolating you to a garage apartment on the other side of town was him failing you.

You stared at him, feeling that bricked up wall around your heart reforming, a promise in the back of your mind forming, a promise that said you wouldn’t let yourself be hurt again. “Go home.” You repeated, the words bitter on your tongue, a thought so sharp in your mind appearing that you physically flinched. Why couldn’t Joel understand? He was the only semblance of home you’d ever had, and he had taken that way from you. You thought that for once, you had found somewhere that you belonged, that you had found people who wanted you around, but you were wrong. Nobody wanted you around. At least that much was clear, at least you could be sure about that one thing.

When you had gone to Tommy all those months ago, your chest empty, tears staining your face, you hadn’t trusted his promise that Joel and Ellie would be good for you. You had been so determined to prove him wrong that you had avoided them, had fled the house more than once just to stay away from the two of them. It was horrible, at the start, it was suffocating. Living in a home that wasn’t yours, intruding on a father who wasn’t your own, a daughter who could never be your sister. To begin with, it had been the most isolated you had ever felt.

Up until that night that it all changed, where you and Ellie had laughed until you cried, sharing jokes and stories just to make one another laugh. It had taken a deeper turn from there, to sharing your experiences in the world that strived to end you. You told Ellie things that you had never told anyone, not even Tommy, certainly not Joel, and she had trusted you with things from her journey with Joel in return. Her voice was coloured with warmth when she spoke of him, though it got more despondent when she got to more recent events. Still, it was that very warmth that eventually caused you to relent to her dinner requests.

And then, finally, you had taken to joining them for dinner without being prompted.

You can remember speaking to Tommy about the two of them, about how things had started looking up, about how he may have been right about Joel and Ellie being good for you. Hell, you can remember seeing Joel from the corner of your eye as you told Tommy about becoming closer to Ellie, about a story she had told you.

Now, you wish Tommy would’ve just left you in the state you were pre-Joel and Ellie, because it would have been better than this. It was an all-encompassing ache that surpassed being purely physical. It bled poison deep into your soul, like acid crumbling the pieces of happiness that had begun to sew back together. It hurt. At least before, you knew that the pain wasn’t your fault, that it couldn’t have been. This pain, however, came from your very roots. You had been unequivocally you whilst with Joel and Ellie, and it had come back to bite you. You can’t help but wonder if, just maybe, you had kept to yourself, if you hadn’t immersed yourself in a life that didn’t belong to you, you would’ve avoided this pain. Because the reason Joel kicked you out was because it was you. That was the only explanation. After all, he kept Ellie around, and she wasn’t his kid in the same way you weren’t.

“Kid…”

“I’m not your kid, Joel. Go home and leave me alone. I don’t wanna say it again.” You responded, firm, voice bordering on trembling. Joel watched, with some amount of confusion, as you turned to Tommy, bearing your teeth at him like it would push him away. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

Tommy flinched as if the words were a physical blow, and you missed the betrayed look he gave Joel as you stormed away, walking with purpose towards your garage apartment, where you lived alone. Always alone. From this experience, you could safely say you were ready for it to stay that way.

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cocogukkie · 3 years

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2020 in review: kdramas (the heart fluttering, the disappointing, the saviors of 2020)

it’s december 31st! the new year is quite literally upon us (some of y’all are already in 2021) and my procrastinating self has chosen to upload this today. i’ve always loved these rec lists and I wanted to do one for 2020! this year was a rollercoaster for kdramas with some excellent ones and some not so excellent ones. i watched all of these in 2020 but not all of them were released in 2020.

if you want to use my questions to make your own list please do!! or give your favs in the tags, i’d love to read them. (fair warning, some of these have multiple answers bc i just can’t choose one!!)

drama that made me laugh

When The Camellia Blooms (2019)

i finally got around to watching when the camellia blooms this year and it. was. so. funny. oh my goodness, the comedic timing in so many scenes was pure excellency and im kinda mad at myself that i didn’t watch this last year. this isn’t just a comedy for those who are interested, its a thriller/romance but its also so fucking funny. definitely watch this if you want to laugh (and be touched bc the emotional scenes in this one are beautiful)

drama that made me cry

Sweet Home (2020)

hahah….. um this one is gonna go to sweet home friends. i went into this one with zero expectations and the first couple episodes didn’t really wow me? but i kept watching and holy shit fam. this show really picks up story-wise around ep 4 and makes the viewer love a lot of these initially unlikable characters. all i can say is that the end was devastating for me and i cried quite a bit. (warning, there are a lot of mature themes in this one so make sure you look for trigger warnings or send me an ask and i’ll list them all out for you)

best OST

Itaewon Class (2020)

i loved the ost for itaewon class!! the music is just so inspirational and pump up music, its so good. my favorites are ‘you make me back’ by woosung and ‘start’ by gaho.

drama with chemistry royalty (aka the best couple)

i have three for this one because i just cannot choose one.

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

we recognize this one as one of the best things to come out of 2020. go moon young and moon kang tae have some of the best chemistry i have ever seen in a drama couple. i waited on the edge of my seat every single week for the next couple of episode just so i could fawn over these two. they work so well together, lift each other up, and so fucking funny together and support one another. while they’re not the chillest couple (lmao) they’re most certainly one with the most personality. they’re so cute and bicker and they just get each other. who could ask for more.

Flower of Evil (2020)

our badass mom and dad 😭😭. this was another peak drama that came out this year and our married partners-in-crime-but-not-really had amazing chemistry. baek hee sung and cha ji won were so cute as a married couple but they were even more precious later on in the drama after certain things unfolded (no spoilers). they both just get each other and protected one another as well as on the most precious kdrama children this year, their daughter eunha. they were so wholesome, flower of evil is so very worth a watch.

Into The Ring (2020)

this was one of the more underappreciated kdramas of the year but hoo buddy was the main couples chemistry top notch. they were so friggin cute and i just couldn’t. goo se ra is highkey one of the best female characters i’ve ever seen, she’s absolute chaos, lawful chaos, but chaos nonetheless. her other half, seo gong myung is opposite from her as lawful neutral. he’s just along for the ride that is se ra and loves her. they’re both so very fond and protective of each other and back each other up!! very very cute and you’ll definitely replay more than a couple of their scenes together.

most disappointing

Record of Youth (2020)

it’s sad but true… i went into this one with so much hope and excitement (i was riding off that ‘psycho but its okay’ high) and i was vastly disappointed. the plot mostly focused on the male lead, and there wasn’t much characterization for the female lead which i didn’t like. honestly, i only cared about maybe 3-4? characters in the whole drama. the rest were absolutely terrible or plain boring and i ended up skipping eps 14 and 15 and just watched the finale. i would not recommend tbh.

drama you can’t really get through

Crash Landing on You (2019)

this one is absolutely on me, i want so badly to love this one. but i just… can’t seem to get past ep 2? i’ve tried!! i swear, but i just cannot get through it. maybe in 2021, i can try again and i’ll enjoy it more.

drama everyone else liked but was meh

Kairos (2020)

i though kairos was a bit predictable tbh. i know those of us who did end up watching it really liked it but maybe its because i watch so many crime/mystery shows that this one didn’t really do it for me. the writing is quite solid and everything connects well, i would recommend that those who don’t really watch thrillers, to watch this one. (also the friendship between the female lead and her two friends is suuuper cute and worth it alone to watch kairos)

favorite romance

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

yeah… this one wins again lol. what can i say, i just loved it so much and the main theme of the show is romance (its also a comedy and a mental health/healing drama) all i can say is watch this if you haven’t yet, its definitely worth it!!

favorite mystery

Memorist (2020) & Watcher (2019)

i really enjoyed these two mystery dramas. both were super fun to watch and very kinda unique in their own ways. i liked memorist because it was lowkey funny and i liked the relationships between the characters, but most importantly i couldn’t guess the main antagonist by the end! i really thought i knew who it was and then i was completely wrong lmao. watcher was also very good, the main trio had really good chemistry and i really cared about all the characters. (also i’ll never say no to watching seo kang joon) plus the plot twists threw me a bit at the end which is always a feeling i welcome, i love being surprised and wrong (as long as it makes sense)

favorite slice of life

Hospital Playlist (2020)

oh my goodness, i was late to the hospital playlist party and i regret it because this show is so. so. good. its just a slice of life following 5 friends who are doctors and work at the same hospital together but its so much more than that. this is honestly one of the first shows i’ve seen that are optimistic? in the show, every time i thought a plot was going to play out a certain way (usually negatively, as tends to be life unfortunately) it surprised me by taking the more optimistic wholesome route. characters in subplots changed for the better, became more understanding, chose to do the right thing, etc. if you want a feel good drama where the main characters have wonderful platonic chemistry and just care about each other but is also super funny, watch hospital playlist!! (season 2 is coming out early 2021 and im so pumped)

favorite fantasy

The Untamed (2019)

this one is a cdrama but i watched it in 2020, mostly because of how many people on the internet were adamant that the rest of us watch this and ngl they were v right. the untamed was very very good and im really glad i gave it a chance and watched it, its also my first cdrama ever. the chemistry between the male leads is honestly what makes this show and its worth the 50? i think? episodes. to be completely honest the fanfiction for the show are peak and if you do watch this, go straight to ao3 and you will not be disappointed.

dramas that saved 2020

The Uncanny Counter (2020) & Run On (2020)

these two dramas are among those that started airing at the end of the year and will go into the beginning of 2021 and absolutely saved the end of 2020 for me. while neither of these are finished, both have been excellent so far and worth starting. uncanny counter has the best use of the found family trope i have ever seen. i fucking love the four counters and their relationship with each other, how protective they are of one another. they all have amazing chemistry and the actors have amazing chemistry in the making films.

run on has one of the cutest couples that will definitely make my best chemistry list for next year. i didn’t put them on this list bc they actually haven’t gotten together yet but once they do, they’re gonna be freaking adorable, i can already tell. there’s no specific grand events propelling the plot forward, but just following the lives of these unique, interesting and relatable people who have casual yet entertaining conversations with each other. the show is super soft and the main couple are so straightforward and honest (plus theres mutual pining!!)

best dramas of the year

here are my best dramas (and one movie) watched this year, no further explanation given lolol. just watch them and enjoy because these are fucking excellent in the feels department. trust me 💞

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

Flower of Evil (2020)

Itaewon Class (2020)

Hospital Playlist (2020)

One Spring Night (2019)

Midnight Runners (2017)

Hot Stove League (2019)

I hope this gives you some fun stuff to watch!! or convince you to start that drama in your watchlists!

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shotorozu · 3 years

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𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔦𝔱𝔬𝔰𝔥𝔦 ᥊ 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you find yourself in a bar that you and your ex used to go to regularly. the local bartender calls your ex- shinsou hitoshi; thinking you guys are still together.

𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝘀: angst to fluff (happy ending), sfw, pro hero au (aged up), drinking (alcohol mentions and intake) ex to lovers, minor todomomo (not the center of this fic) reader is in the top 5, some swearing.

𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱: [Y/N = your name, L/N = last name, H/N = hero name, ] f! reader, quirk not mentioned.

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: i also did this trope on ao3 with todomomo, so i better not see people think i plagiarized them because.. that’s literally me lol. also! i was very conflicted, bc i also wanted to do this with shouto but since I already have 2-3 fics in the making, i went with hitoshi (but let me know if you wanna see shouto’s version.)

word count to be added when im not sleep deprived

　　　　　　　　˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚

You swivel down another shot down your throat, not caring of the burn in your nose, nor do you care about the smell of the alcohol.

You’re never like this, this is not the best representation of yourself, no. This is not who you are as a person, and the way your former classmates look at you with concern when you chug down another shot shows how unusual this is to them.

“Take it easy..” Momo pats your back, and you exhale heavily, putting down the glass. Everyone is certain that you’ll obtain some serious hangover, almost to the point that you’d have to take the morning off to treat your hangover. They’re aware that you’re not this careless, since you're in the top 5 after all.

But they let you be momentarily, but why you may ask?

Because this is your way of coping a breakup with your boyfriend of 3 and a half years, Shinsou Hitoshi. They’re aware on how hurt you really are, and to be real- they were the ones that asked you to come out with them tonight to distract you.

“They’ve been going at it for a while, it’s almost concerning.” Tsuyu comments, as she tends to a slightly tipsy Mina, holding her so she doesn’t fall face first into the floor.

The least they could do is let you be, while you're not totally blacked out.

The local bartender- Maki, looks at you with concern when you order another shot, yet they still give it to you (with the slightest hesitation) since you’re such a good friend to her. (Your rank makes you very respectable, it’s almost intimidating! but your casual friend ship with the bar tender says other wise.)

But on the contrary, you'd know when you’ve reached the limit, and you’d probably know when they’d start refusing your requests of another shot.

One by one, their friends depart from the table, either they were too drunk to even handle it so they were brought home, or something came up- everyone could agree that they all had some sort of worry towards their dear friend’s very out of character coping mechanism.

“I have to go soon,” Momo sighs, when she receives a text from Todoroki- though it’s very obvious that she’s still very concerned for you, considering that she’s the only friend left. “Please take care of Y/N, Maki-san.”

Maki nods at your black haired friend, and the creation hero looks at you one last time before leaving the bar.

Lifting your head, your words are slurred as you request for another shot, which seems like the umpteenth time that you requested for a shot. The concerned bartender still attends to your needs, yet- she’s contemplating of calling someone if you ask for another.

Likewise, you finish that shot in a moment, and you slump down on the table. Eyelids fluttering slowly as your laughter is filled with intoxication, your cheeks are warm from being inebriated from the intake of alcohol.

You don’t notice how your concerned bartender dials up a number, requesting for them to pick your drunken state.

»»————-　➴　————-««

“Did you know the word bed is shaped like one?”

It’s now past midnight, and you’re mouthing off about something random, the train of thought is endless (but it’s more like a shower thought ramble.) Your fists are deep into your hair- holding your head up so it doesn't hit the table, meanwhile Maki paces back and forth- still tending to other requests from the very few customers left.

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, yeah.” They answer absentmindedly, “Man, I haven't seen you in nearly 4 months! it’s been a while. You knows how to hold your alcohol so frankly, this is the first time I’ve seen this side of you!”

“Oh really?” You slur, continuing on to spout out purposeless words.

The bartender’s response is a total blur, words turning into background noises, and a part of you is lucky to still be conscious and still functioning (yet it's barely)

“..But you hold it well for--”

You’re also very lucky that you’re a little too under the influence to even register the name.

You didn't know you’d take this breakup with him harshly. The most you were expecting was just.. crying while eating ice cream.

But no, it was an utter shit hole.

The door busts open, and the bartender’s expression seems to brighten up “Ah, there you are!”

You grumble, the bar’s lights causing your eyes to sting- and your head hurts too. You might need some aspirin later.. you close your eyes shut. The bartender is chatting with the unknown person, and frankly- you just wished you didn’t intoxicate yourself this much.

“Y/N,”

The baritone voice is almost sufficient in sobering you up. Turning to the familiar voice, you see the tall figure, sporting bedraggled purple hair.

It’s Shinsou Hitoshi. A reason why you’re in such a mess, coping with a breakup in the first place.

You almost fall off your chair in sudden revelation to the appearance of your ex lover. It was almost like.. your drunken state was making you see things- a possible hallucination maybe? it has to be that. Maybe it’s the side effect of the growing headache?? What was in that shot?

“Ugh, I must be crazy,” You wipe your cheek from slob, your head throbbing from the growing headache. The weary purple head raises an eyebrow, and the bartender is confused by the sudden tension. It's abnormal, alright.

The reason why you broke up was because of his lack of self care.

Again, it’s not like he was being a shithead and cheating on you, or being a total prick of a boyfriend and neglecting you, and it’s definitely not the other way around either.

It was probably the opposite. He'd neglect himself for days on end, not caring about himself, and not caring about his own being. It was.. not what you wanted at all.

You figured just because the both of you are rising up heroes, and also adults- he would’ve gotten a grip of not neglecting himself.

But even habits like that don’t get old.

“Hitoshi- seriously, when was the last time you’ve took a breather?” growing slightly irritated by Shinsou’s continuous neglect of his own self care, and also the fact that he’s clinging onto you 24/7.

“It doesn’t matter.” He shrugs, pinching your cheek. Heck, you should be glad he wants to be with you for the majority of the days. But you can’t tolerate him when he’s constantly complaining about being tired, although making little to no efforts in taking care of himself. Heck- his dark circles got even darker- how is that even possible?

“’Toshi, it really does. You can’t neglect self care.” Your brows furrow when he chooses to ignore your words. “You’re not listening to me.”

“You should be glad that I want to spend time with you.”

It stung. What the hell did he even mean by that..?? scoffing, and slightly offended, you reply “That’s not the main issue.” you cross your arms “We’ve talked about this before, remember?” You reason out, giving him the nice benefit of the doubt. You'd like to be civil here.

He ignores you once more, and you can actually feel the irritation grow within you. “I don’t want to be the reason why you neglect yourself.”

“I’m really not, okay?” He retorts back, “Why do you always have to bring up things that don't matter?”

Aggitated, you snap back “Wh- we’re talking about you! Hitoshi, we’ve talked about this- and you said you’d work on it! do my words mean nothing to you?” Hitoshi’s gaze flickers up, only staring at you, as if it was his own way of judging you and your intent.

And that’s how it erupted into a full fight, and into your eventual breakup.

You didn’t know how expressing your genuine concern for him blended into him saying things he’d never mean in his entire life. He doesn’t stop you when you walk out, not saying a thing at all

There was no verbal breakup. It was just.. there.

The unknowing bartender interrupts the nonverbal tension, “I thought you’d be a lot happier, y’know.”

“We-”

“..’ll get going now, thanks again.” Before you know it, Hitoshi’s hooking your arm around his shoulders— as he walks to the door, leaving the very familiar bar.

It’s awkward, surely. You’re not sure why he was there, and you’re not so sure as to why he decided to come to your aid in the first place. If Maki called him, and he was requested to come to you in question, then he could’ve just..

“..sent someone else,” You mumble. You reek heavily of alcohol, and your skin is undeniably warm. Frankly, he doesn’t remember the last time you were like this— was it the first time you had a drink? it was years back at this point.

You’re pretty.

Beautiful,

That’s one thing that hasn’t change. Surely, what changed things was the fact that he said some.. horrible things— and refused to even listen to your concerns, which ultimately cause your breakup. His relationship status changed into some lonely and young hero, and his heart ached in different ways.

But you’re still very beautiful, to him.

Doesn’t matter if you��re all dolled up for a hero interview, or a mess on a off saturday. You’re still beautiful.

But now— he’s focused on your words, and he’s taken aback when you continue to speak, causing the both of you to stop in the middle of the sidewalk.

“You’ve coulda asked s-someone else to pick.. me up.” Your words are slurred, a normal side effect of being drunk. However, seeing your ex has surely sobered you up.

“That’s true,” Shinsou moves to continue walking, so you guys weren’t standing on the middle of the side walk on a cold early morning.

“What are you even doing at a bar at 1am?” He changes the subject, but you’re still caught on to your previous question. “You didn’t answer my question at all, meanie.” Her grip is firm, so there’s no way of budging it.

His laugh lacks humor, yet he feels obligated to answer her. Or else they’d be stuck on the sidewalk, due to her hero grip.

“It didn’t feel right,”

“Yeah sure.” You grumble, “Because you suddenly care.”

“I’ve always cared, Y/N.”

“Really?” You say, not really believing him anyway. “You seemed pretty sure with your words back then to care.” Despite being toxicated, your words have undertones of venom

“You may say that, but.. I’ve always cared.”

“Then why the hell did you say all of that back then, huh?” Overwhelmed by seeing your ex, who you still fucking loved by the way— tears grow at your eyes. “If you’re lying, stop it.” You say, literally not in the mood to be lied to right now.

You’re literally being carried by your ex, while intoxicated, while also having a throbbing headache.

“I’m not.” Hitoshi answers firmly. A certain edge grows in his throat, and he hates it.

“Yes you are,” Your voice is now wobbly, it’s really just a mix of your overwhelming emotion, as well as your drunken state. “You would’ve told me that weeks ago!”

You were always right, and he knows it. Ever since from the last moment you shared with him, your words were just.. nothing but the sheer truth. Yet, he’s only hurt you— because of his denial.

He knows you’re right, and he knows that he had his habits of neglecting his own care. Though that’s why he decided to change, that you were in fact- correct all this time.

And he was just an ass to even admit it.

“You’re right,” His fists crumple, grip tight as he fights his sudden urge to break. “You were always right. I’ve always cared, and you’ve always cared about me. Yet I was worried of changing, not being around you just so that I could take care of something that’s not really important-”

“But you are, Hitoshi,” You sob, nearly collapsing onto the ground— “You matter so much, yet you don’t even see it, and if I’m going to contribute to your destructive ways— then...”

“How could you? If you don’t care about my words, then do you care about yourself..?”

Shinsou sighs, bending down to meet your level— you’re gasping and sobbing into his chest, tears angrily running down your cheeks.

“I know, kitten, and I’m sorry.” Wiping your tears with his thumb, he speaks once more. “That’s why.. I’ve thought about what you’ve said, and I decided to take care of myself a bit more, I want you to know that.. I do care.”

You glance up at him, the city lights luminating his face— enough for you to see the adorning expression he’s sporting.

“..really?” You speak, in a nearly hush tone, again— you’re still very drunk, and overwhelmed with emotions. This could’ve been passed off as a fever dream, and you could’ve been normal with it.

“Yes, Y/N.” His mouth perks up into a small smile.

“Then.. would you allow me to start over with you again?”

Pushing against Hitoshi, you envelope him with your arms— it’s almost cliché and dramatic, the way you collapse into his arms like it’s the last day on earth.

But.. Shinsou’s glad he has you again. Finally a chance to prove that he’s changed.

ーーーーーーー

BONUS

You sit on the counter of your apartment, hands covering your face— as a way to shield your eyes from the prodding sunlight that peaks from the windows.

“This should help,” Hitoshi hands you a cool glass of water, “The way you hold your alcohol is terrible,” You chug down the glass of water, and you take a jab at him with your feet.

He hisses at the sudden attack, and only chuckles, “You’re mad because it’s true kitten,” He teases

“Shut up,” You draw him in with your leg, setting the glass down, “Just kiss me already,”

And so he does, pressing your lips against his— savoring the sweet warm moment he’s been practically starved of for nearly 4 months.

He pulls back, his expression showcasing that he’s tasting the aftermath.

“Ew, you taste like beer.”

You glare at him, and take another light jab, “Of course I do, Idiot.”

Despite saying all of that, he pulls you in once more.

　　　　　　　˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading (literally the first fic i’ve ever posted, so y’all BETTER like it or i’ll 💀)

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :)) (literally don’t, it’s 3:26am on a tuesday.)

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nikvs-blog · 5 years

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pov rp: i try to wink at u but i close both eyes like jinsoul in this gif <3 SBJDWBDJWBDJ hello im xan im 22 & from the est timezone i use she / her pronouns & ur watching disney channel. is this super late ? yea...but thats super on brand for me its fine its fun its sexy so * jugkook vc* let’s get it !

— jung jinsoul. she/her. cis female. | was that niko seo i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a waitress, but i’ve always just seen them scribbling poetry on napkins. they live in 3A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of making wishes on falling stars, silk ribbons adorning messy ponytails, and breakfast at midnight.

BACKSTORY

so miss niko was born in a teeny tiny suburban town in north carolina to a pair of young high school sweethearts ! unfortunately her mom passed away during childbirth so it was a very bittersweet arrival into the world for baby niko

her dad was a mechanic who never made it to college since his girlfriend got pregnant towards the end of their senior year. they got married before niko was born though because they were pretty serious abt raising her right but they never really got the chance to /: but her dad loved his job he loved working with cars & it was something his own dad did before him plus it was a job the town really valued since it was so tiny ( u really only needed one of everything )

when i say tiny i mean everyone knows everyone tiny. growing up the town kinda pitied niko bc of her mom dying so to compensate everyone kinda tried to do their part in raising her ! her neighbors were just as much of a parent to her as her own dad was, and everyone had stories abt her mom so niko kinda appreciated how small the town was.....sometimes

that changed as she got older ! when she started high school her dad kinda entered a rough patch & started drinking more with his buddies, started working less, and niko started getting calls from the sheriff at 2 am like “hey we’re gonna keep ur dad for the night he didnt do anything crazy but he got a little too drunk u can pick him up tomorrow” sort of thing

she was there for him every time but it got kinda overwhelming knowing everyone was in her family's business & how much kids would gossip at school or adults would give her sad looks

basically she kinda just....became very disillusioned with her reality & began to realize no one around her was really.....happy or had big dreams and their entire lives revolved around this tiny town which scared her

but also ? it had started becoming her life, too. she was voted prom queen senior year, she had a job at a diner where the same people ate everyday, she’d been dating the same boy for four years and everyone talked about how they’d probably get married soon. she’d become exactly like everyone else without even realizing it....she didnt have some big dream.....she didnt even have plans for college she was just so stuck

and then disaster hit the summer after she graduated high school. her dad had crashed right into a tree on a rainy night trying to drive home after a night out drinking & died on impact. the news honestly didnt feel real to her until her grandparents were helping her clear out her house so she could come move in with them

which is when she finds her mom’s old diary ! and boy was that thing . fat & juicy ... it had all four years worth of her mom’s high school years inside and niko became ...obsessed with it. all she did that summer her dad died was read her mom’s old diary learning more abt the woman from those pages than she ever had from the mouths of everyone in her town

thats how she found out her mom had always dreamed of moving to some city like seattle and starting this new life once she found out she was pregnant with niko ! so niko was like ok this has to be a sign....told her grandparents she loved them but she couldnt stay in north carolina.....and boop ! she pretty much disappeared from the town, didnt tie up any lose ends ( including her bf of four years who she was kinda engaged to ? JSDBJBDJ ) because she just had to leave that bad.

cue a scene on bus with niko looking out the window as some dramatic song abt new beginnings plays . JSDBJSBDJW seattle was truly her new start at 18 ... and all she wanted to do was just ... reinvent herself

so she did ! first thing she did was get a job as a waitress bc uh ur girl was BROKE broke but she knew she was good at serving. the first year was.....pretty rough there’s no sugar coating it niko was struggling bad, probably living in some questionable apartment when she wasnt coach hopping at her coworker’s places. despite all this she was....insanely happy she really believed ( and still does ) seattle is magic !

she was working at a diner ironically, just like she had been back home, but this diner changed her life about a two years ago. one day one of her regulars ( a very well off lawyer who worked downtown ) told her she was way too pretty and charming to be serving at a place like this & that he had a buddy who owned an upscale restaurant near his job downtown & that he could probably get niko a job there if she wanted

so she was like UH hell yes....showed up the next day at this fancy restaurant, charmed the pants off the owner, and the rest ? is history ! she moved into hideaways a bit after getting this new job & has been there ever since <3

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS

personality wise niko is kinda ....hard to figure out. she doesnt do it on purpose, she’s just still learning about who she is and what she really wants. back home in north carolina she was kind of the small town golden girl, loved by everyone type of deal but also very romanticized by those around her ??? ppl thought she was brilliant and knew so much about everything when the truth was she just knew a little about a lot. she would read to escape the suburban boredom of her reality & took a special interest in things like art and poetry and astronomy. shes the type to want to share the stuff she’s learned with those around her

in seattle since no one knew her the way they did back home, niko decided she wanted to keep it that way. because of this and because shes so hesitant to talk about her family sometimes she can come across as mysterious but she’s a surprisingly open person !! she’s naturally super curious and friendly and she’s found it really helps to be the kind of person people want to get to know and trust when working in the service industry. she’s got the type of aura about her that makes you feel as if maybe you’ve known her forever, even if she’s only told you one thing about herself ( which is often the case) . can probably make anyone feel at home within five minutes of talking to her & you won’t even realize how she’s doing it. her boss swears she’s charming enough to sell honey to a bee !

she’s also got a flighty side though that comes out when you get too close. niko’s great at relationships when they aren’t deep, but the moment you start and figure her out and see past the smiley walls she’s got up she recoils fast. in a way she’s terrified of anyone knowing too much about her because she’s scared that once they do they’ll pity her, and niko can’t stand being pitied. she’s also super good at dishing out affection but not so good at receiving it. the type to fall in love then right back out of love in one day. kinda a heart breaker bc of this but she doesn't mean to be, she just gets infatuated kinda easily & isn’t very good at keeping things serious ever since literally running away from her long-time ex in north carolina JSBCSJBDJW

some fun facts: she wants to get a cat and name it cat so bad but she’s not sure she’d be a good pet mom so she just settles for petting stray cats in public. 100% that weirdo crouching in the street making kissy noises because she saw a cat and wants to pet it. she can name just about every constellation & loves to sit outside and look at the stars on clear nights, usually while smoking a joint . she’s a hardcore lightweight .... im talking one tequila shot and she’s floored ... two glasses of wine and she’s taking her top off then crying kinda deal like she CANNOT handle her liquor so she tries to keep partying to a minimum. she’s got a collection of napkins from work were people have scribbled their phone numbers onto as well as a collection of napkins niko herself has scribbled on. she mostly writes poems and sometimes she even leaves a napkin with a poem on it behind at a table like a little gift for whoever sits there next. she’s probably always writing poems for all her friends or infatuations so if you’re in her life....you’ve gotten one at some point !

the only thing she brought with her from north carolina were all her records. she’s got a pretty extensive collection that ranges from donna summer to louis armstrong to led zeppelin & when she finally got a record player of her own in seattle it was probably the best day of her life <3 she really likes to watch scary movies but also they scare her so bad so it’s a cycle of oh yes lets watch this.....fuck why did i do that.....im sleeping with the lights on rinse & repeat. she really likes to cook ! she learned at a pretty early age out of necessity but now she does it for her own pleasure also because of her growing interest / knowledge in the restaurant industry. her wardrobe is 95% thrifted and 5% stolen from miscellaneous people ( her dad, old boyfriends, hookups, friends, etc. ) is a notorious hoodie thief so dont lend her yours......

and this is WAY too long im.....so sorry this literally always happens aha <3 yes i ramble but thats bc . i have a lot to say and i also have a lot of love to give ! spare some plots ? we can im on tumblr but i am 100% easier to reach on discord @ EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172 so hit me up there & lets get this show on the road baby !

#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc !#lets not talk abt how long or late this is .... x #JDSBJBDJWBJDW i got carried away perhaps didnt even wanna start adding wanted connections this is already so much 2 read </3 #niko is.....my baby im so excited for her and so excited for this rp so plot with me perhaps ? hehe...#hide.intro

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oncmanarmy-blog · 5 years

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hello guys, gals, gays, and they's, i am skelly! i was here before.. for a long a time and i am baCK NOW AND V HAPPY ABT IT! i bring u gunnar, a thor’s grandson and aries mess!!

( LOGAN SHROYER, MALE, HE/HIM ) — ✧ that looks like GUNNAR AURELIUS VIDARSON ! they’re the NINETEEN YEAR OLD SON of VIDAR BJÖRK-THORSON. [ they are also an UNDERGRAD STUDENT at paragon. ] i hear they’re HARD-WORKING & VIRTUOUS, but tend to be SINGLE-MINDED & AGGRESSIVE. his file says that his power/ability is AIR MANIPULATION & PARTIAL ASGARDIAN PHYSIOLOGY.

bio !

gunnar aurelius vidarson was born on april 1st, 1999 in london, england & he will never forgive the universe for the fact this his birthday is some sort of cosmic joke.

every since he was a child, he was... good. he’s always had a sense to do good in his life. he was always the first to play with loner kids in the playground, first to stand up for kids more vulnerable than him.

growing up, it was clear that the influence his family had on him. he’s grown up with such a sense of what is right and what is fair & just, that he is just... a hero at heart.

and yet, the world always throws curveballs.

his dad, albeit a good influence on him, was distant when he needed him most as a child. though he was only second oldest, he always shouldered a sort of responsibility to be strong and show that his father being away didn’t affect him as much as it did.

and then, as he’s eight years old, his aunt dies in an accident and his older sister almost follows her. gunnar wonders from then on why the world is so cruel.

at age ten, his parents divorce. though his family was never perfect and barely ever together, it still hurts more than he thinks it should.

when he’s fourteen, his dad stops working for the army and starts working for shield.

around this time, gunnar starts... acting out. his sense of right never waning, he starts putting his powers to use. first on the schoolyard, against bullies. then, at whatever training ground he can manage and against any willing sparring partner he can find (who would be okay with fighting a fourteen year old... seriously).

though he’s on-and-off been through fight training, which is a given in his family, he starts buckling down and taking it seriously during this time. he focuses on channeling all of his problems into training, a trait that has persisted in him to this day.

at some point along the way of all this training, he sneaks out of his house at midnight, shaky hands and shakier confidence, and sets out to become some sort of hero. he looks for trouble and finds it, stopping a mugging barely three days after turning fifteen.

when he gets home, he’s still shaking. he can’t stop smiling.

gunnar keeps on being as much of a vigilante as he can manage in the next few years, leading to nowadays, where he considers himself a vigilante Of Sorts.

he started gaining much more confidence in the past year or so and an incredibly renewed sense of vigor in his vigilante activities after his smallest brother got kidnapped by SHIELD enemies.

at present time, he is studying a criminal justice degree at paragon because he loves justice and doing the right thing but he’s ... pretty bad at studying so he’s taken a bit more to the streets to serve his own sense of justice.

pinterest here !

tl;dr !

vigilante baby who makes bad decisions!

very good and very righteous but also easy to wind up

quick to fight --- and he’s good at it too. communication wise, ranks up to a C-. fighting ability is A+

wanted ! connections !

people he’s saved! --- self explanatory! he’s a vigilante and he mostly takes on smaller crimes like purse snatchers or pickpockets

heroes who have saved him! --- oof can you imagine some Real Hero finding this shaky little kid trying to face down the barrel of a gun? Yes, give Me.

villains he’s thwarted :o --- also p self explanatory but ! he is a smaller time hero so maybe a baby villain he ran off? could be a very very interesting dynamic if they regularly see each other

villains that have thwarted Him --- im just flipping all connections on their head huh? maybe... he walked in on the wrong crime or butted into the wrong conversation and... got himself on someone’s list. walked away too bruised to be friendly

a cop who’s worked with him or tried to get him to stop being a hero --- or BOTH! maybe they worry about him

this is a longer thought out connect but.... someone who wants to corrupt him --- in the sense of like... theyre bamboozling him into thinking theyre also a hero or smth... and just want him to do shadier and shadier things until he’s so in the gray moral area he’s basically in the eVIL... mite turn this into an Actual Wanted Connection on main bc it could be so interesting and eviL

OTHER THAN THAT: someone who thinks vigilantes are stupid? best friend with villain parents? best hero friend? a mentor? a sparring / training partner? a crush who worries about him??? ALL OF IT!! GIVE ME PLEASE!!

okay thats it please plot with me!!! ily

#sidekick.intro #✧ :・ﾟ. ⌜ flesh ‚ bone & gold ⌟ about

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spiderwho · 6 years

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Lethal Love - Part 1

Request: 9 with Tom!Peter Parker?

Peter Parker and "Oh my God. You're in love with him!" Please? Thank you so much you're amazing!!!

Oops, forgot to mention for the "Oh my God, you're in love with him" prompt; could you make it fluffy please? Thanks!! 😘

Oh my god! You’re in love with him/her!

TAGS: @agentmalfoy24601 @teddysiupin @palebun-16 @whovian1077 @philipshaaayyyy @smazztastic @undoroos @justsomeweirdfan

He crept closer to her, in slow, quiet baby steps, as if anything else would send her running off and never acknowledge him again. He wrung his mask tight between his fingers, trying to ease his nerves.

She waited silently and impatiently, like he was oxygen, and she was about to break the surface of the deepest ocean. Toes curling with anticipation, every step making her crave him more.

The air around them was thick, almost suffocating as they waited, waited to see if this exhilarating, fuzzy feeling was just a hoax, a faulty truth. But when Peter caught the glisten in her eyes that showed more than just the warm hues of her irises, his heart caught a fever, warming his veins and sending shivers to his spine. He couldn’t help but smile. It’s real.

Days earlier

“Oh my god dude, you’re in love with her?”

Peter kicked the tip of his faded, worn out shoe to the waxed floor of Midtown High. His eyebrows scrunched in frustration and desperation. His heart hurt. He loves her, god he loves her. She’s like the rainfall in a summer drought, she’s coming home after a long day, she’s like a glass of water on a humid hot day. Something he loves, something he can never grow tired of. He avoided his friends eyes, as he looked down with a jagged sigh,

“How can I not love her?” he asked with no intentions of searching for an answer, “She’s mesmerizing, intelligent, kind-”

“But she’s your best friend,” Ned stated, interrupting Peter,

“That’s it. That’s the only problem,”

“Dude just tell her how you feel, what do you have to lose?”

Peter looked at his friend with a floored expression, “Are you kidding me? If I tell her how I feel, she may get weirded out and never speak to me again! I’d rather suffer with her as a friend, than suffer without her,”

Ned shook his head and wished Peter good luck, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Your melodic laugh broke through the crowd halls, and snapped Peter’s head in your direction. There you were walking along, towards him, smiling and laughing with your friends, making his heart skip a beat. He loved seeing you happy like this, because it made him happy too. But deep down it was taking a toll on him. Feeling the way he does and not being able to spill it all, and explain how he’s never felt this way before, that he’d do anything for you if you only asked, how he wants to wake up next to you every morning so he can see your morning glory beauty, feel your gentle touch against him, and hold you in his arms; but he can’t.

Catching his eyes staring gently, you beamed back at him, making your way over, “Hey Pete,” you greeted.

Never once breaking his eye contact, he smiled down at you, “Hey,” he said breathlessly,

“Our favorite cafe is open till 8 tonight, are you busy?”

“Uh, no, not at all,” He didn’t even give it a thought before answering. It didn’t matter, he’d cancel all his plans for the rest of his life if it meant spending it all with you,

“Great! We’ll meet at 6:30 and head over then?”

“Yeah, uh, great. I’ll just- be at your place, at 6:30,”

“Sweet, text me,” you said placing your hand on Peters toned bicep, giving it a squeeze as you proceeded to walk to your next class. You hoped that he hadn’t taken notice of the blush that warmed your cheeks when you spoke to him. You’d been trying to hint to Peter about your feelings for a little while now, but you should’ve known that he wouldn’t pick up on it right away. You’ve tried telling him straight up before, feeling it at the tip of your tongue, your heart beating frantically out of your chest, ready for the truth to finally come out, but you just couldn’t put these intense feelings in to words. But tonight you were, no more waiting around.

6:30 sharp, Peter was at your doorstep, as promised. You took your seats on the patio of the cafe, fairy lights strung above your heads, giving the atmosphere a warm, comforting glow,

“I don’t know why I bother looking at the menu, I get the same thing every time I come here,” you said picking up the laminated list. Peter chuckling softly at you, admiration flooding his brown eyes,

“Switch it up then, try something different and exciting,” he suggested

“I will do no such thing to my pasta dish,”

Your silly comment made him laugh harder. For a moment he felt as if he had fallen even more in love with you, as impossible as it may seen.

The sun began to set between the cities structures, illuminating the sparse clouds, as the two of you finished your evening meals. You were telling a story to Peter that M.J had told you earlier at school, all the while he never broke his eye contact you. He couldn’t help it. And he wasn’t even sure if he was picking up everything you were saying, but he hardly cared. He was more focused on memorizing every specked detail in your radiant irises.

You paused your story telling, and caught on that Peter wasn’t paying any attention with the lack of his responses. Without giving it a second thought as to what may happen next, you let out your next few words,

“There’s something that I want to tell you,”

Your eyes widen, realizing Peter had spoken along with you, almost the exact same sentence, only changing it to something that he needed to tell you,

“Uh, ladies first,” he offered, quickly trying to prolong his confession and see if you’d forget he had spoken,

“No, no, I’ve been talking non-stop this whole time so, you go first,” you laughed nervously.

Peter let out a breath he had been holding in and brought his sweaty palms together on his lap, shaking with his rapidly bouncing leg,

“I-uh-” he started, instantly regretting looking up at you, and seeing you peer at him with your wise, remarkable eyes, making any thoughts left in his heads disappear. He had imagined this moment many times in his, planning out all the sweet words he’d say, but he never took into consideration how nerve raking it’d be,

“I’m-well, I’m... Spider-man,”

He blew it.

Your expression changed from expectant to confused. He never imagined his heart rate to pick up this speed, if he hadn’t gotten bit by the radioactive spider, then he’d probably be dead.

You tilted your head, a light-hearted and dazed smile formed on your lips, “What?” you asked, “No you’re not,”

When you were met with no response, your stomach dropped, “All those black eyes, and cuts were from Flash,” you bugged him in disbelief.

Peter shook his head slowly and whispered a barely audible ‘no’. He was regretting his impulsive decision, hating himself for being such a coward.

Your eyes glazed over as you looked up and down the boy in front of you, not sure if it was the same one you fell in love with. You loved Peter because he was an honest, kind, genuine person. He was your best friend, a person you’d choose above all else, told all your secrets to, held you when you cried, someone that you trusted. You felt a cold distance from him, after all this time, he couldn’t tell something so big important and in his life to his best friend.

Peter couldn’t stand the silence and the thick air between you two, he’d rather you be yelling and screaming than this painful, slow torture, “Please say something,” he pleaded faintly.

His heart broke a little, when you got up and left him alone.

WHAT IM BACK???? AND ITS PAST MIDNIGHT AND IM IN MY FEELINGS FROM THE END IF THIS FIC ALSO FEED BACK IS APPRECIATED

#peter parker #peter parker masterlist #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker gif #spider-man #spiderman #spider man #spiderman headcanon #spider-man imagine #spider-man fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader #spider-man x reader

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shooter-nobunagun · 6 years

Text

Orphanage of the Cosmos [Bloodborne AU]

//Covers lore and events from Upper Cathedral Ward through the Orphanage; usual spoiler warning.

“Tell me something; why are you really here?” The hunter acted as if he hadn’t heard the other man, only continuing to etch the rune patterns along his skin but Adam knew he was listening. “You Executioners only care about the Vilebloods, and you certainly don’t need our strength.” There was no response still, and Adam felt his eyelid twitch.

“What is it you’re really after?”

The pick was laid down with a soft “clink”, Tell methodically bandaging up the scars until the etchings healed and the rune’s power would take effect. “Adam Muirhead. That is a question I could ask you myself; Your strength is impressive and your hunts, even moreso. Why you would take such an interest in a newcomer I do not know, but it’s not just for her skills.”

Though Tell didn’t say anything explicitly, Adam felt his pulse increase. Just how obvious was their relationship becoming... Even though he was sure they were taking enough precautions around each other, and hell it wasn’t as if anything more happened after the kiss in the gardens (and there had been nobody else around, he’d made sure of it). Regardless, if Tell was subtly hinting he was aware of this bond between them, then anything was game.

“...This hunt, it’s different than the past ones, somehow...I know you can sense it,” he replied, though avidly looking away. “It ain’t my first, and I’m not stupid enough t’ turn away help for the sake of pride.”

“Different, you say...?” Tell’s voice carried only a hint of further knowledge, but it wasn’t enough for Adam to make a judgement of whether or not to push for more. “In any case, it’s none of my business; as you so rightly said, I am merely with your band for the time being because I find it an interesting change of pace. I do not need your strength to survive.”

“Then keep yer bloody nose outta this,” Adam muttered, wondering if Tell really was a threat or simply a hunter who’d been on too many hunts, and now merely found ways to keep himself amused during the never-ending nights. “Call us interesting if yeh want, just don’t stir up unnecessary trouble.”

Tell hummed a questioning note, before finally strolling over and eyeing Adam face-to-face. “Unnecessary trouble...I have a feeling it’s not me who’s at risk.” It was unnerving, both the double entendre and also how close Tell was standing to him, those dark eyes piercing his own.

It felt like forever before he blinked and stepped away, Adam letting out the breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. Shit; Tell was definitely onto them but unlike Mirza, it didn’t seem to be malice so much as curiosity, or perhaps even caution.

“Just remember, Muirhead; anything more than the occasional midnight visit will come back to bite you, sooner or later.” Adam nearly dropped the tool he’d been holding while embedding a blood gem into his gun. There was a chance Tell was simply poking fun in jest, but after all that, he had a feeling the Executioner knew.

About his true feelings for the huntress.

“Adam...? Is everything okay?” Speak of the devil. His head turned and there she was, eyes large and questioning as she handed him the turnscrew he’d dropped. “Did Tell do something?”

“...It’s nothing.” He took the tool and turned back to the workbench, Sio looking a bit hurt at his abrupt attitude but he couldn’t risk revealing anymore than they already had. If only he could find some way to be sure they could get some privacy, he could tell her... “Oy, Sio—”

But when he turned around again she’d already disappeared. ---- “Tha’s a mighty long face ye’ve got thar, lass. Sumthin’ the matter?” The surgeon gave her a friendly pat on the head but Sio’s expression remained unchanged, only focused on tuning her blunderbuss. “Och, somethin’s got yur goat; did that Muirhead do sumthin’ again?”

Sio barked out a laugh. “Ha! More like not do anything...” she muttered, hands going through the motions of oiling the locks and switches along the gun’s shaft. “Even now, I feel like he’s so hard to get a read on...one minute he’s being all nice, the next he ignores me like I’m a brat,” she growled, tossing the dirty rag into the supply trunk. “If you’re just using me for your own pleasures, then why the hell did you say all that in the gardens...”

Hunter raised an eyebrow at the insinuations Sio’s words carried, but kept it to himself. “Well, tha’s how he’s always been, fer as long as I’ve known ‘im. Hell, I’d say he’s actually gotten a lot better, since we’ve started traveling wit’ ye. Take it easy lass, it’ll take ‘im some time t’ get used to...uh, well,” Hunter cast her a sheepish glance, not sure if he should reveal the fact he already knew about their relationship. “A-Anywho, I’m sure he’s got his reasons; ‘f there’s one thing I can assure you, it’s that he isnae th’ type of man t’ act carelessly. Well, least I dinnae think so...”

“Well, if you say so...” Sio grumbled, not entirely convinced. Then again, what did she know about love and relationships? This was her first one, and with a veteran hunter from Yharnam, to boot. Maybe displays of affection were rare among their kind? Or maybe she was thinking too far in him giving her anything beyond the occasional compliment or even kiss. ‘Seriously Sio, you couldn’t have fallen for a more normal guy?’

A tap on her shoulder nearly sent her jumping out of her skin again, but to her relief she managed to control it—even moreso after she realized who it was that wanted her attention. “Oh! Uh, William Tell...right? Is there...something you need?”

“I was discussing the state of things with Vidocq earlier; he mentioned you and Muirhead were able to communicate with a Great One—Rom?”

A familiar shiver crawled down her spine at the mention of that topic. Surely Tell wasn’t suspicious as well...she hadn’t sensed anything foreboding from him, but he could very well have an ulterior motive, like so many of their fellow hunters.

“U-Uh, y, yeah...I-I mean, I wouldn’t really call it...communicating, but more like...” She twisted a lock of her hair nervously, wonder how wise it was to reveal everything. On one hand, if Tell already spoke to Vidocq then there wasn’t a point in hiding it. But on the other...who knew what he wanted this information for. “Um—can, can I ask...why are you interested in this anyway? It’s not like Rom’s around anymore...and to be honest, I’m not sure what more I can tell you that Vidocq already hasn’t; if anything, he could probably tell you more, considering his research...”

To her surprise Tell shook his head. “Actually, I am asking because I know someone who might be helpful in figuring this out.” She stared at him blankly, not sure what to make of this. “Sio Ogura, are you interested in learning more about why you are able to hear those thoughts? With creatures beyond any imagining, and what they mean?”

“H-Huh?” Now she was really confused. “W, Wait, what do you mean...Tell, do you know what a Great One is? Can you also hear their voices?”

“...Not really. Well, I suspect not as well as you can. However, an acquaintance of mine recently wrote to me about a great discovery that may shed more light on this...phenomenon. He is an elite member of the Healing Church; the Choir, if you’ve heard of them.”

Sio shook her head slowly, still trying to grasp everything. “O-Oh, I...see.” Though she wasn’t truly interested in figuring out a mystical entity that was probably best left alone, a part of her curiosity couldn’t help but be piqued. Perhaps this would yield a way to break that strange connection somehow, or at least explain it. The blood sickness was bad enough, she didn’t want another potentially fatal condition to deal with. Besides, these Great Ones and the beasts they fought had to be connected somehow...right? Though Sio didn’t know how exactly, instinct told her they co-existed for a reason. “Where is this friend of yours?”

Tell was about to speak when another voice cut in. “Oy, what’re you two doing...” The look Adam was casting him could only be described as daggers, but the other hunter didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Ah, Muirhead. Nothing much, was merely asking Miss Ogura if she would be interested in heading to the Orphanage at the top of the Upper Cathedral Ward.”

“An orphanage? Whatever for...” Adam’s eyes narrowed at that comment. He’d never heard of anything at the top of the Cathedral...though it was true, there were rumors of a locked gate leading to a secret place where only the most skilled and wise hunters were able to venture. “This isn’t the time to be taking any grand detours—”

“—You are not interested in why you could hear her? Rom, the Great One?” Adam tensed at the mention of that battle. “From what I’ve learned during my travels, not every hunter hears them, you know. The Great Ones...and to be able to understand more than just feelings and images...”

“...What are you insinuating?” A cold sweat ran down his spine. “I—yeh, sure, it would be nice to know, but I don’t think it’s anymore important than finishing the hunt—”

“—Is it?” Both Adam and Sio could only stare at Tell, unsure of what to do. “You have never wondered, how these beasts came to be in the first place, why this night continues so?” He was walking in circles around them, pose non-threatening as usual but Adam slowly gripped the handle of his pistol underneath his coat.

“The Orphanage. At the very top of Upper Cathedral Ward." He held up an elaborate, rusty key. “I will see you at the headstones if you wish to accompany me, and seek the truth.”

And then Tell left, coattails swirling behind as the girl collapsed on her knees while he continued staring, and wondering.

“Oh man...that was intense,” Sio shuddered, slowly picking herself back up. “What the heck was all that...”

“I don’t know; this Tell figure, I don’t get what he’s doing...bloody hard to figure out,” Adam muttered. “Sio, you alright? He didn’t do or say anything, did he?”

“N-No, it was kinda the same as he told you...he asked, if I wanted to know why I, I can hear those...things,” she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase those horrible memories. “I-I mean, I know you’re right and we don’t have much time, b-but I can’t help but wonder...what if he has a point? He said he has a friend or something there...a part of the Choir?”

A member of the Healing Church? Adam raised an eyebrow, but didn’t dismiss Sio’s words. The Church was definitely not his favorite group of people, but at least they were better than the Vilebloods. Marginally. “It’s true, I’d rather not take anymore unnecessary detours...but I am curious as well. And especially for you...”

Sio blushed with embarrassment and guilt. “A-Ah, I’m sorry—seriously, it’s not like Tell is forcing me to go, he just asked; honestly, we probably should just get on with the hunt—”

She stilled as he leaned over her, a somber expression on his face. “If you really want to Sio, then it’s your right and your choice. You don’t need my approval for everything; least of all something that so deeply affects you.” There it was again, this weird change in attitude he only showed sporadically. Still Sio couldn’t tell if really cared about her, or just put on a front to make her feel better.

“Erm, yeah sure...by the way, this isn’t related to anything, but...what’s with you?” She gave him a pointed stare. “I don’t want you to coddle me or anything, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t just dismiss me at the drop of a hat.”

Adam winced internally at that stare. Of course, Sio never let anything slip her by, not even when he brusquely brushed her off. “Ah, look, about that earlier...I apologise, I didn’t mean to. It’s just...” He glanced around, before nodding his head towards the more secluded part of the woods just beyond the gate. “There’s a reason I don’t want others t’ catch on about...us. Anymore than they already are.”

“O-Oh...makes sense.” Suddenly she felt guilty, thinking back to all the possible moments she might’ve let slip that they were involved now as more than just allies. “Sorry...you’re right, I should be more careful myself...I’m pretty sure Hunter’s already put two-and-two together by now—”

“—Hunter we can trust, and yeh, like you said he...pretty much already figured it out,” Adam muttered bashfully. “I’m talkin’ more about the others. Not just folks like Tell...but also Geronimo...and Mirza.” His eyes narrowed at the thought of those two. More than once already, they’d each hinted at how Sio was special somehow, not just as a hunter but to him, personally. “Especially those two; hate to admit it, but I’m startin’ to regret keeping them around...”

Sio felt a shiver of fear at Adam’s words. Just from working together with them, she’d learned the two were not to be trifled with; things were uneasy enough with her blood sickness, but if Adam was starting to become concerned, then there could only be consequences down the road if they weren’t careful. To be sure, Geronimo was always polite towards her, but her intentions towards infected hunters were painfully clear. And Mahesh Mirza...

“U-Uhm, Adam?” He gave her a curious look, but didn’t interrupt. “A, About Mirza...I, I don’t know, if this means anything--ah hell, maybe I was just imaging it—”

“—What is it Sio? Did he try anything with you?” She was surprised by how alarmed Adam seemed at the mere mention of the man, his expression changing and quickly he strode over to her. “What’s wrong?”

“U-Um, well...it’s just, you know how I was sleeping...in your lap, right after we came back from Cainhurst Castle, right?” A nod. “W, Well, this was right when I woke up, b-before you were awake...I, I noticed him just...staring at me...” Adam’s hand gently laid itself on her shoulder, the weight comforting her even as Sio felt her stomach twist at the memory. “I...I-I mean, I didn’t see him directly...it was only because, of the angle and where I was lying...I could see his face in the Stakedriver’s reflection...I-I don’t know if he could see back at me, o-or what, but...”

His grip on her shoulder tightened slightly but Adam didn’t say a word. So, his suspicions were correct...Mirza was indeed after the huntress, and not just on a flirtatious level. ‘This must have something to do with her blood sickness...and perhaps the ability to hear the Great Ones...’

“A, Adam... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this earlier, but...” He shook his head, gently patting her on the back as she tried not to cry. “I, I was just so shocked by it, a-and then we were getting ready to all go to Yahar’gul, I-I didn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble at a time like that...!”

“It’s all right Sio; I understand.” Adam sighed heavily before sitting down next to her. “Honestly, it’s my fault; I should’ve kept a closer eye on ‘im myself...and also not made it seem like things would be fine as long as I was around.” He should’ve known Mirza would find a way to get what he wanted, even with him and Hunter practically standing guard around Sio. “Thanks for telling me that, Ogura. And next time, trust your instincts. Hell, I’d trust yours more than I’d trust mine at this point...”

Sio nodded, burrowing her head slightly against his arm and was rewarded with a small embrace. “Thanks, Adam...but I’m just curious; how come you and Hunter always talk about Mirza like he’s some sort of...well, vagabond? Yet he’s part of our group?”

“Oh boy...now that’s a story.” Rubbing his temples, Adam wondered how much he should tell or where to even begin. “I guess the best way t’ put it is, he’s a bit of an...enigma. Born into a rich family, stable life and all that—then for some reason he throws it all away and goes about acting like a hunter and ends up gettin’ disowned by his parents...guess he’s got some skills, but it’s just...” Adam gave an aggravated sigh as he leaned back against the stone pillar. “It’s just, something about him doesn’t add up; he claims he just wants to ‘see the glory’ of being a hunter, and yeh he ain’t half-bad on the field, but still...he’s hiding something, that much I can sense. There’s just something about his actions and intentions that don’t make sense. He’s a hunter, but not for the reasons he says... And that’s not even counting his womanising behaviour. So yeh, tha’s why me an’ Hunter are wary of him...but I figured, it was better than lettin’ him wander away where I can’t keep an eye on him.”

“I see...” Sio contemplated Adam’s words with her own musings. Her suspicions weren’t far off either, the sense that Mirza was definitely after something, yet he acted with just enough charm that made it difficult for them to pin any sort of accusations of underhanded doings. ‘The type of person who knows how to get what they want, how to play the game without getting caught...’ The man reminded her of a snake, lying patiently in wait until the prey was close enough for a single, deadly strike. “In any case, I’ll be sure to watch myself around him...”

Adam nodded in agreement. “Yeh, I’ll mention to Hunter as well tha’ Mirza’s likely to try something if he thinks he can get away with it...hopefully two people might dissuade him from doing anything stupid...”

“Have you worked together with him in the past before? With Mirza?”

“Hmm? Well...wouldn’t exactly call it working together. After you’ve been in this business for a while, you tend to know who’s around and who’s likely to not get killed. We’ve teamed up once or twice to take on some particularly nasty beasts but that’s about it—went our separate ways pretty quickly afterwards, no need to stick around.” Adam shrugged. “Back then, my policy was t’ mind my own business, even if those I worked with weren’t exactly...trustworthy.”

The huntress hugged her knees and thought about Mirza’s behavior, and now Tell’s mysterious words. “So...do you, wanna go to the Orphanage, then? With Tell? I-I mean, I...personally, I kind of want to...if only I can finally understand why... Plus, I feel he at least has more morals than Mirza.”

Adam stood up at her words, lending a hand to the smaller girl. “Hell, why not. Hopefully won’t be a long detour...and I am kind of curious myself. Plus, there’s no way in hell I’m lettin’ ya go by yerself, ‘specially now,” he gave her a slightly roguish grin to which Sio blushed, “Tell himself asked me if I was curious as well...which makes me think this phenomenon concerns more than just you.”

The two strode in a comfortable silence to the headstones where the stoic Executioner awaited, eyebrow slightly raised but otherwise un-surprised to see them. The trio knelt at the headstones as the fog encompassed them, unaware of a fourth who then knelt down right behind them. ----- “This...can’t really be an orphanage...can it?” The foreboding atmosphere, thick fog and onerous shrieks that greeted them the second they arrived...and that wasn’t even counting the steps leading into the Upper Cathedral Ward, which were littered with countless grotesque, larval-like creatures that tried to spit acid on them with every step. “Ouch—damn this acid—!” The pain in her foot burned, but even worse was the familiar feeling of losing herself, her control slipping away and giving in to that frenzied bloodlust... Growling low in her throat, she transformed the Rifle Spear, charging it up towards those stupid larvae—

“Oy Sio, careful! Here, drink this,” and before Sio could push him away a dark, pungent liquid pushed past her lips, the girl swallowing clumsily and coughing as she choked on the thick sedative. “There...feeling all right now? Have some water as well.”

“Ugh...ooh, what the...” Still coughing, Sio wiped her bloody mouth with her sleeve, flinching as she noticed the crimson color. “What th—wh, what did you just give me?”

“A sedative; concocted at Byrgenwerth, it helps calms those whose nerves are easily frayed...such as yourself, Miss Ogura.” She turned to the voice of William Tell, who was picking off the creatures with several molotovs. “I noticed it when you were fighting in Cainhurst, and again in Yahar’gul...but you have an affliction towards frenzy...do you not?”

Sio could only nod helplessly, upset and frightened this hunter had figured her out so easily. Not just that...but what he could do with such knowledge... Even with Hunter and Adam’s support, it wouldn’t be wise to strain things anymore within the group. “Y, Yeah...I guess it’s pretty obvious by now...but, wait a minute, you called it frenzy, and this...sedative, you knew...this place, the Choir...” Tell was looking at her with an almost amused gaze, as if he enjoyed watching the huntress putting the pieces together at last. “You...know about this condition. And it’s related to the Great Ones...and how I can hear them...isn’t it?”

As she finished her hypothesis Sio knew she was correct, judging from the rare smile Tell was giving her. “Again, you astound me with your insight and knowledge, young huntress. You are correct; the reason you tend to go into a frenzy, is because your mind is particularly vulnerable to the whisperings of those Great Ones...so whenever you come in contact with them or one of their kin, you are at risk to lose your mind to whatever madness they try to tell you.”

“B-But then, that means...a-are you saying I’ll eventually go insane? And why the hell are they trying to talk to me?” Sio felt herself go numb with dread, wondering how much her sanity was already gone.

“That’s what the sedative is for. It will help to counteract and strengthen your mind against such probings,” Tell answered, “though as with any form of blood ministration it should be used sparingly, so it’s best to avoid coming in too-close contact with any of them. As for what and why...well, perhaps my colleague will be able to answer it better than any of my own delusions.”

Sio nodded mutely, still distraught over her own realizations and the fact that she’d just swallowed an entire bottle of human blood. As if having to inject blood vials wasn’t bad enough...but if she wanted to protect herself from any more madness, what choice did she have?

“This place...it’s so dependent on blood—no, they’re obsessed,” she muttered to herself as they proceeded inside the dilapidated hall. Adam and Tell took the lead as they scouted ahead cautiously, while Sio waited until a signal for her to either charge forward or else stay back as they handled the numerous brain suckers, werewolves and other horrors present inside the cathedral. A terrible shriek and shattering of broken glass startled her out of her thoughts, as a pair of monstrous werewolves crashed through the thin frame and into the crowded corridor where she waited. Shaking off the glass, she didn’t even wait for the two men to catch up before her Rifle Spear pierced deep into one of them, shooting the second to fend it off while she finished the first. The floor was slick with blood and entrails by the time Adam and Tell returned from dealing with the third, Sio already wiping up her weapons while two massive corpses lay at her feet. Though he didn’t say anything, Tell gave her an even glance, before the three of them continued up through the center of the mansion.

Even as a group of three, and her increased experience, still Sio felt the constant dread of fear, hanging just out of reach to prevent it from overwhelming her completely, yet enough unease remained to keep her pulse high and all senses hyper-focused for any potential threat. Despite its innocuous name, Upper Cathedral Ward was anything but mundane; beyond the numerous threats of werewolves and brainsuckers was the building itself, rotting and dark with stairs that creaked ominously and evidence of hideous experiments strewn about.

As they reached the top Sio’s eyes slid over to a curious statue, posed with arms outstretched in peculiar manner. If it weren’t for the gravity of the situation, she might’ve even laughed. Still, when Adam and Tell were taking a breather, Sio couldn’t help but raise her arms as well, mimicking the strange pose and then it seemed as if she’d...gained something, although nothing physical happened.

“That’s an interesting gesture you’re doing, Ogura.” She yelped in embarrassment as the two men came rounding the corner, Tell raising an eyebrow and Adam giving her just the slightest of winks, as she mumbled something about ‘just stretching’, before following the two in an awkward silence. When would she be able to act like a real, grown-up hunter instead of a bumbling newbie?

The anxiety eased slightly as they finally reached the tall doors, which Tell handily opened with the key. The actual orphanage didn’t seem to be much better, though the outside air was an improvement compared to the stale and fetid damp that stuck to her nostrils no matter how much she breathed. They were now in some sort of garden, filled with large flowers she didn’t recognize that faintly glowed whenever she approached them.

“What are these flowers? I’ve never seen them before...” She was tempted to reach out and touch one, their soft light lulling her into a bit of a trance-like state.

“Lumenflowers; for some reason, they’re quite common in this area. To the best of my knowledge they’re not dangerous, but one does wonder why they glow like that...”

Sio quickly withdrew her fingers after that comment. Better to be safe than sorry, especially in a place like this. Still, the garden was much needed after fighting the dark for so long; Sio didn’t even notice how tight her grip was until they paused for a break, having to pry her fingers from the dirty bandages that wrapped around the Rifle Spear’s shaft.

“Oy, how’re you holdin’ up?” It took every fiber of her being to not jump suddenly as his voiced pierced her ear, even as she welcomed his presence. “A bit jumpy, huh...don’t blame yeh; been gettin’ weird vibes this entire time...and it’s not just the unwelcome company.” Adam gave a slight glance around the area. “I just hope this friend we’re supposedly meeting ain’t gonna be another lunatic we need to worry abou...” His voice trailed off and Sio felt a sudden quiver of unease run through her, the very air itself becoming charged with a kind of energy that set all the hairs on her neck straight up.

“Wh-what’s, what’s going on...there’s, something...”

“...It seems we’ve company to deal with first, before meeting up with Nostradamus...wonderful.” Sio barely caught the name of their contact before strange, little blue pygmys streamed into the room, their bulbous heads aglow with an ominous light as they ran on spindly little legs that somehow did not snap under their own weight. They did not growl like the usual monsters, only gibberish as they ran around the hunters, the circle growing increasingly tight as Sio felt the suffocating frenzy building up again...ignoring her own disgust, she forced another bottle of sedative down, resisting the urge to heave. No matter how repulsive she found the blood to be, there was no denying it did help to keep her calm, to focus on the task at hand instead of blindly charging forward.

“What the hell are these things?” Adam’s Stakedriver was working full-time in knocking out the seemingly endless wave. “They’re not beasts, are they?”

“No; from what I’ve gathered, and Nostradamus’ notes, these creatures were once human, but did not turn into beasts. Rather, they’re something else entirely...” Tell’s arrows fired effortlessly into the distance, picking off the stumbling blue blobs one-by-one. “Tch...there’s no end to these things...”

“There must be a leader of some sorts...I’m sure if we can find and take it out, the underlings will lose their direction and be easy enough to pick off.” Sio tried to scan the creatures to discern which one could be different, but they all looked the same. But their behavior...her eyes narrowed as she noticed a particular creature standing around, not running or attacking. ‘Wait a minute, why’s that one not doing anything...? Maybe...!’ Without another word she shoved herself through the fray, ignoring the bumbling blue hands that tried to hold her back and their arcane magic that left painful burns through her clothes. Those could be healed up, but not if they couldn’t stem the flow...

“Tell! Adam! I think I’ve got it!” The two men turned towards her shouts, as Sio’s spear sank into the blue creature. “Over here!” Although this particular creature hadn’t been attacking, now that she was effectively ripping it to shreds, it too started to become hostile. The more she struck, the larger it seemed to grow; until suddenly there was a burst of light and the creature instantly swelled in size, now with additional tentacles sprouting from its head. “Uh oh!”

“Sio!” Adam tackled the girl down just in time before both of them got hit with an arcane blast. “You hurt? Damn, th’ thing’s huge now!”

“True, but at least we finally have a target!” Her face was pulled back in a wide-eyed grin, Adam feeling a little uneasy about her battle lust but at least she seemed to be resisting their frenzy. “Come on, let’s take it out!” And without even waiting for a response she tore back into the alien, firing a shot to disable the tentacles as she tore out its guts in another visceral attack as Adam attacked its flank.

With their combined efforts and Tell’s arrows, soon enough the creature toppled over, the smaller underlings vanishing in an instant and all was silent in the gardens again. Adam took a quick glance over at Sio, who was panting with exhaustion but otherwise seemed none worse for wear. The dangerous grin she wore during battle had faded, replaced with a tired grimace. “Oy, you all right? Here, we should patch up your burns...”

“Oh, it’s not a big deal—yeeoow!” Sio couldn’t help but jump from the pain as Adam swabbed her burned skin with an antiseptic, all the while giving her a look. “O-Okay, maybe I should take care of these...ow, don’t press so hard!” She winced as he went over a particularly deep wound.

“Sorry, my bad...” He was no Hunter when it came to the gentle dexterity needed to not unintentionally hurt patients, but sometimes the basics had to be enough. “Apologies; this better now?”

“Y-Yeah...thanks.” He nodded and then stood up, using his body as a curtain to give her some privacy while she quickly changed into a spare shirt, the breeze chilling against her bare skin.

“So what, is this friend of yours ever goin’ to show his face? Or was this all for nothing?” Adam eyed Tell with a wary glance as the archer came trotting up. “Unless there’s more...”

Adam didn’t even finish his sentence before they all heard the slow clap, clap, clap, footsteps now approaching the trio from seemingly nowhere. He was a young man, with orange-red hair and slightly shorter in stature compared to Tell, dressed in the classic uniform of The Choir: billowing white robes, long black glove and their signature blindfold cap, signaling their desire to commune with the heavens and their debt to Master Willem.

“My, my...you did not inform me you were bringing guests, dear friend? Let’s see...two additional hunters, one male and one female...one who is on the verge of succumbing to the blood sickness, and both...ah, I understand now, Tell. I understand all too well, why it is they came with you...”

“Muirhead, Ogura. My contact from The Choir, Michel de Nostradamus.” Tell nodded towards the man, who bowed slightly in return. “Do not be afraid; I can promise he does not mean any harm towards you.”

Sio found his words hard to believe, instead shrinking back towards Adam who subtly wound a hand around her shoulder in a protective manner. Despite the blindfold, Nostradamus had identified them with an astonishing degree of accuracy; not only who they were, but her affliction, which she didn’t even think Tell knew.

“Oh dear, perhaps I’ve frightened them?” Nostradamus gave a tinkling laugh. “Come come, there’s no need to stand around like strangers. Please, come this way, and I shall explain everything. He continued beckoning them towards the other building, able to navigate the hallways as if he didn’t have a blindfold at all.

Part of her wanted to just forget about this wild goose chase and return to the dream, but another part was burning with curiosity. That, and the fact they’d already fought their way through this entire Cathedral and then the gardens, meant they might as well go through with whatever secrets this Nostradamus held. There was an encouraging pat on her shoulder and she turned to see Adam giving her a small smile, Sio nodding silently as both of them followed the other two inside.

#documentation #hunt or be hunted #//wow i am in update mode #//kind of #//more like a bunch of chapters were hanging for a long time until finally figured out how to continue #//my bad #//feels bad for taking so long...i know folks were waiting on this one

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man-0n-the-m00n · 6 years

Text

Summer and How My Life Changed

For me, summer hasn't been that great. I’ve always loved this warm, bright, and hopeful season, except for some reason, this year wasn't quite the same.

My summer started out with being a tutor in summer school, I hung out with friends and I helped kids who were younger than me prepare for the next grueling school year, even though it was mostly messing around, we did learn (a little bit).

After summer school ended I was bored for a while. I was really looking forward to this trip my friend and I were going to be partaking in, called NYR.

NYR is a campsite on a mountain in Colorado, US. Its a christian camp that takes place during the summer, thousands of kids and adults come from all over the nation to experience this amazing week long camp. Churches from multiples states gather a group of highschoolers who would like to witness the miracles that happen on that mountain. My group was pretty big, about 50 kids.

My friend wasn't very excited about going, she was kind of only going because I was (which worked in her favor in the end)

The bus ride to NYR was 15-16 hours, i loved it. I loved seeing all of the cities and i loved watching the land change as we traveled through each state. I loved the lights and I listened to music the entire way there.

I don't know if I've spoken about this before but I have a history of self harm. I knew going on his 9 day trip, I would inevitably get an urge. So the day I was leaving, a couple hours before departure time, I cut.

I regretted doing it immediately after i had made the choice. I bandaged it up and i left. That bus ride really was amazing but the slices on my thigh rubbing against my jean shorts, not so amazing.

I didn't really expect anyone to mention or speak of self harm at NYR so I wasn't too worried about it. I was wrong. They spoke a little bit about depression, anxiety, or cutting, each day. It wasn't just a brief recognition of it either. The sermons were deep. It started affecting me.

I had an awesome time in Colorado but I really didn't know if i could handle the thoughts that kept bombarding my mind and the feelings I was struggling to keep hidden.

I started becoming closer to a lot of acquaintances and distant friends. I was reconnecting with lost friendships. I started becoming closer to this sophomore I knew, who had been there for me in the past when I had been struggling with self harm, I was there for him as well. He didn't really know I was still struggling it, he had managed to overcome it. He talked to me one night, around midnight, we were sitting on a bench and looking at the trees and stars. I never knew such wise words could come out a 15 year olds mouth. I’d always known he was different, but that night, it really seemed like he knew the secret to everything.

I became closer to a senior, he had been my friend for a while but we were never really close. During the trip we ever got super close, but he helped make me happier and he helped me escape from reality for a little while. He was one of the things that made the trip amazing.

I also met a junior, I had known him but not very well. I barely remembered his name and had to ask someone else. He and I became really close. He was constantly by my side and he made me laugh, which is really important to me. I watched him grow closer to God throughout the course of that trip and it sort of inspired me too, in a way. He told me some intense things on that mountain, things that would connect us and later help us stay in touch and build a relationship. He made my week insanely better, he pulled me out of the dark hole that was my mind and he helped me learn to just live, even if he was struggling with doing that himself. He was one of the the two people who made NYR so amazing.

The other is my best friend. She's been there for me for years and I couldn't have asked for someone better to come with me to that mountain. I watched her grow and change as a person. She was happy, and just seeing her happy made my experience 4380x better.

What I'm getting at, is that when you have the opportunity, go somewhere. Meet someone. Do every fucking thing you possibly can, life is so short and there are so many things out there that will give you hope, even when you have none. They give you a reason to live. Now I'm not just promoting christianity, i don't think that the only way to live you life is through God. Thats your choice, but the fellowship and the sense of belonging I felt up in Colorado is something I will NEVER fucking forget.

If and when you get the chance, go. Go anywhere. Go somewhere.

(if you're not convinced to go to NYR yet, here are some things that might change ya mind)

i understand that no one will see this and those who do might not be able to go due to financial struggles, but im still putting this out there.

**************************************************

-white water rafting

-concert every morning and night

-fucking beautiful oh my god

-sports and shit, there are like tournaments idk its cool

-fuckin bomb food

-no judgement, fr

-you get to explore

-cool merch

-get away from your family

-meet new people

-become closer to friends and maybe god

-they don't make you do anything alone so less anxiety than expected

-you can go days without showering and no one notices

-canteen (food food food)

-golf carts

-fishing (if you're into that)

-THE LITERAL DEEPEST MESSAGES YOU WILL EVER HEAR THE STORIES ARE LIFE CHANGING AND PEOPLE CRY AND HUG LIKE EVERY NIGHT

-youre inspired and you leave feeling like you have a purpose

-you also get tan so thats cool

************************************************

-Fellie (I didn't read over this or correct any errors, idc if my writing suck you get the point.)

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sergioeduardovelasquez · 3 years

Text

Very late night thoughts

It's January 17th. Way past midnight. I lay in bed staring at my violet neon lights. They're pretty. I saw a post where someone posed the question "what would my 15 year old self think if they woke up in my 20 year old body?" And it got me thinking. What would my 5 year counterpart think? I'm exactly 2 months from turning 21. Its been 3 years since I graduated Highschool and maybe it's time to reflect on that.

I tend to prefer not to think of my time in Highschool . It makes me feel like I'm reminiscing of a time that I both miss dearly and regret dreadfully. I miss those times because I got to spend my days with some of the kindest and complex people I've ever known. I still talk to some, though most them of have moved on. It saddens me but I acknowledge that it may have been for the best in their eyes. I know they cared about me at one point, and in the end it was my own doing that pushed them away. A lot of it had to do with my own behavior post-graduation. I was an asshole. I was reckless and I don't blame any of them from moving forward without my company. I'm happy for them and I think off them often, hoping that they're doing much better now than they were doing back then.

But as I said, the memory of those times is truly bittersweet. The sweet is the people I loved. The bitter is the memory of me.

What I mean is - and I hope I'm not alone in this - that I cant emphasize enough the chills that run down my spine and the way my stomach feels when I think of just how absolutely stupid I was. Like seriously! it feels like I'm being sucker-punched in the gut. The thought of all the moronic things I said. All the edgy, dark humored, poor taste garbage that came out of my mouth. I mean to this day I still have my slip-ups. I acknowledge that sometimes my impulsive wits get the better of me. I'm quick to speak and slow to think. But as crude and ignorant as I catch myself being sometimes... back then it was just an emberasment. Like if my 20 year old self met my 15 year old self, I can assure you that I would beat my own ass.

I like to think that today I'm doing better. I mean I sure hope I do. I still make mistakes, some much bigger than others, but with every slip-up I do my best to reflect and mediate on why I fault the way I do. At this point self-awareness is my biggest ally, though it can also cause the heaviest shame.

With all that said, I lay and ponder to myself. Is this what I envisioned? Is it what I dreamed? Honestly, yes and no. On one side, ive suffered a many great deal of self-inflicted wounds and baggage. On the other hand, I have an abundance of blessings and joy that I hadn't experienced before. I've hit very rough lows, and in those moments I've always had a helping hand from friends, family, and love. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I look at where I am now, all the good In my life seems to come from the profound love of people that never gave up on me, even when I showed the worst of my colors. And all the bad seems to come from old habits and scars that I just haven't been able to quite shake off and ones that I've picked up along the way.

I suppose the only way to truly find a small resemblance of the hopes I held once isnt to wallow at the thought of what I've lost, nor blame anything or anyone around me for all the short-comings, but to be grateful and do everything I can to grow and make up for the mistakes I've made. I don't exactly know how manage this journey, but im hopeful that the fact that I can rationalize more than before is proof that I may be on the right track.

With luck, the prediction of a very wise and kind woman I once knew may come to fruition. She told me that if I can manage to consistently review the contents of my noggin, I may not be so screwed after all. She always seemed to be right about everything else. I hope she was right about this one too.

We will see.

#bittersweet

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daehwins · 6 years

Note

(cute ask thing) 2, 10, 12, 13, 14, 17, 20, 23, 28, 34, 46, 51, 52, 57, 60, 66, 75, 94, 99 and 100 (have fun)

w.yaaa hey sweetie ilu thank u for this and keeping me occupied when im supposed to be sleeping dfshdhj. @haeochan

2). do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

no! unless im rlly warm then im up for it, but most of the times im freezing and dying, plus i dont like cold air in general bcs its hard for me to breathe in hwds.

10). do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

i’m more or less an octopus?? i like to roll around and wake up frequently during the night and cant stay still. i start out on my side tho and most of the time wake up on my side or stomach.

12). what's your favorite planet?

i never rlly thought out this tbh?? i dont kno much about the solar system so wdsb.. mayb pluto bcs its not a planet anymore and im salty about it

13). what's something that made you smile today?

you. and the people around me, today was rough but the people i surround myself with definitely made it much easier to process.

14). if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

okay so first off it would be with u. and idk?? like i can imagine a small and warm place full of blankets and soft decorations and lighting and pastel colors bcs i love pastel colors?? and animals bcs we boh love animals!! and kpop shit everywhere bcs im a mess but u would probably fite me until i cleaned up after myself!! tbh.. i would be happy with anything as long as i could be with u...

17) . what color do you really want to dye your hair?

it used to be red, but now its soft/pastel pink!! or silver or blue or anything tbh bcs i rlly am tired of my hair.

20). what’s your favorite eye color?

i dont rlly have one?? i like eyes in a person (?? that sounds weird but like.. i feel like eyes tell a lot about a person and theyre rlly pretty) like.. i like all colors in eyes tbh..??

23). what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

sleep?? eat?? watch meme videos, talk aboout ocs, and talk to u my honey bunches of oats (haha my job is to eMBARASS U FUCCER)

28). sunrise or sunset?

sunset bcs im lazy as hell and hate being up early as i wake up everyday before sunrise bc sof school.

34). tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

i have soooooooooooo many! but a rlly special one is a ratty old dog named puppers! i got him from a mission store when i was probably 4 or 5..? with my grandmother. hes rlly special to me and i keep him very close to me when i sleep bcs hes a large comfort to me, hes been through everything with me adn i plan keeping him as long as i can!!!

46). tell us the worst pun you can think of.

i would but that would be a PUNishment.

51). think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

you and spring day - bts. its one of my favorite songs and the lyrics just remind me of longing to meet someone one day that i miss dearly.

52). what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

all of them??

57). go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

lol i listened to the pentatonix vers. after today it makes me feel kinda weird lyrically wise.. i dont view it as the uppbeat song that everyone sings to.

60). do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

i love poetry!! i especially like to write free verse poetry. (i might add more later)

“Funeral Blues” - W.H. Auden

(last two stanzas)

“He was my North, my South, my East and West,My working week and my Sunday-rest,My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;I thought that love would last forever: I was wrongThe stars are not wanted now: put out every one;Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,For nothing now can ever come to any good.”

66). what would your ideal flower crown look like?

i have no idea tbh?? probably soft pink and blues?? idk about specific flowers

75). tell us about your pets!

i used to have a cat names rascal when i was very little! then various fish! now i have a black lab named addie! i love her very much and affectionately call her demon dog lol.

94). who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

some girl in my latin class was today but she didnt show up lol

99). list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

UHM ILL HAVE TO COME BACK TO THIS ONE WHEN IM NOT HALF ASLEEO SRRY.

100). if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the future. i feel like the past is the past and its done, ive made my amends to what has happened and its done.i want to know where i am in the future and if i made it and am satisfied with where i am!

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90sgrungelouis · 7 years

Note

ALL 65 QUESTIONS please

OH JESUS FUCK OK HERE GOES

im gonna put this under the cut because ohhhhh lord

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

like in a matrix-y, were all living in a simulation and nothing is real kind of way, or a youre actually living in a coma dream state and ur body is in some hospital right now, OR in the youre actually dead and living a purgatory world and you just dont realize it kind of way? Because yes, all three

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

mmmmmm 3.5, bonus points if its outside

3. The person you would never want to meet?

for the first time? maybe trump, or satan cowbell

4. What is your favorite word?

what are you trying to do huh? thats like making me pick between my children, i refuse to pick

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

oooo maybe a cherry blossom tree that would be nice

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i look a mess

7. What shirt are you wearing?

this tank top my friend designed

8. What do you label yourself as?

sexuality-wise? uhhh jurys still out tbh but im pretty sure im somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and im 90% sure im gay

9. Bright room or dark room?

one lamp

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

crying because i couldnt focus on writing my essay

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

ehhhh

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the ot5 gc :’)

13. Your worst enemy?

grapefruit

14. What is your current desktop picture?

its the default mac one, it used to be a picture of the womens march but my computer fucked up and reset it, ive been too lazy to change it back

15. Do you like someone?

i like many people

16. The last song you listened to?

irresistible by one fuckin dee boi

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

too many people

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

see above

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

nooooooo

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my jazz hands

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i have no idea bro

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

being the radical gay feminist in my family, its a tough job but someones gotta do it

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

those grates on the floor in the street, i always step around them

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

something vegetarian idk

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

concert tickets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

can it be a one way ticket i want out of this shit country

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

jose cuervos tequila yasss

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

no bois

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck is always a solid choice. i like using really pg curses too tho like heck or dang

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my sick ass memes

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

all of middle school LMFAO

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

sick! that wasnt a question my dude ;)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

my pet gerbil

34. What was your last dream about?

idek man

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yea

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

kind of

38. What is the color of your socks?

theyre pink and brown fuzzy bunny socks

39. What type of music do you like?

i used to think i only listened to indie but its a really varied mix of punk indie and top 40 tbh

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

both

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

cant go wrong with vanilla

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

yikes

43. Do you have any scars?

yes

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

haha

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

ehhhh

46. Are you reliable?

maybe?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

where do i end up bro

48. Do you hold grudges?

ohhh heck yea. i tend to them, like little pets

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a UNICORN DUDEEEE

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

ur asking a person who has a memory of a goldfish

51. Are you a good liar?

not really

52. How long could you go without talking?

probably a couple days

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

i think ive been ok so far

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

ofc

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

im terrible at those

56. What do you like on your toast?

anything you got

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

halloween doodles

58. What would be you dream car?

maybe a jeep? idk

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

ehhhhh

60. Do you believe in aliens?

who do you think i am

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

sign me up for that astrology shit

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

u (hehe see what i did there)

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

theyre cool i guess

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

idk what to do with this one soooooo tada!! i finished it woop

#this took so long and im dead #ask

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gansbeee-archive · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by @medjedofficial !! Rules: Answer these statements and tag 20 people

i tag: @the-dreamers-boy @for-the-life-ofme @colorcodedplant @deathdippedinroses (none of you have to do this if you don’t want to! Any of my mutuals are free to do this, just put me as the person who tagged you! <3)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water probably

2. Phone call: My mom

3. Text message: ‘HOLY SHIT’ to adam about some hamilton meta

4. Song you listened to: Probably no one else performed by philippa soo from the great comet

5. Time you cried: listening to the aforementioned song

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: never dated.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone.

8. Been cheated on: N/A

9. Lost someone special: hahaha i dont think theyre special anymore :^)

10. Been depressed: Ive been depressed for at least the past 6 years.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Green

13. Turquoise

14. Indigo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: a few!

16. Fallen out of love: i have never been in love. At least, not in the traditional sense.

17. Laughed until you cried: just the other day. I was in a voice chat w some of my pals and my friend tobi laughed for about 5 minutes at a picture of a melted rubber ducky. Obviously i had to join.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: lmao more than once!!!

19. Met someone who changed you: i’ve changed a lot over the years, and i find it difficult to attribute that change to a single person or even a group of people.

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes. I think i finally have.

21. Kissed a mutual? Nope.

GENERAL

22. How many mutuals do you know in real life: @for-the-life-ofme (my best friend!) @the-dreamers-boy (my qpp!) @morriha (a good old pal) @medjedofficial (a new pal!) @colorcodedplant (another new pal!!!)

23. Do you have any pets: yep! Two cats: luke, a fat tabby, and ruby, a beautiful and sweet tortoiseshell calico

24. Do you want to change your name: I haven’t really thought about it yet.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i think i had a party at a pizza place and then had a sleepover after? It was kinda small

26. What time did you wake up: this morning i woke up at 8:30 b/c of aikido practice

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was sleepy peepy

28. Name something you can’t wait to get: i’m not really looking forward to anything short term. But long term- an apartment w my qpp @the-dreamers-boy , a drawing tablet, and top surgery/testosterone

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: sometime last night

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: besides the obvious (gender and money), i want a drive. I want something to look forward to, something to research, something to fall in love with.

31. What are you listening to right now: as i type this, i’m in the car and giving up the gun by vampire weekend is playing. If i could pick, i would probably be listening to the great comet rn

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: um? That is likely, yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not feelin this whole societal concept of gender

34. Most visited website: youtube and tungle.hell

35. Mole/s: they are. Everwhere. Most noticeably my face, arms, back, and legs- however they are on p much all my body parts.

36. Mark/s: faint thin scars on my hip, old scabs on my knees and elbows, a small crescent shaped scar on my knee. Also a surgery scar on my right wrist.

37. Childhood dream: I think i wanted to be a vet or a nurse. Jokes on you, past self, i can barely take care of my own health let alone other people’s

38. Hair color: light brown. Lowkey copper highlights? Blonde parts from previous dyeing

39. Long or short hair: reeeally long. Like, to my mid-back.

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: besides celebrities and unattainable characters? No one.

41. What do you like about yourself: ???

42. Piercings: I have pierced ears that have long since closed and that’s it

43. Blood type: i have no clue

44. Nicknames: gansey or kat

45. Relationship status: no romantic partner. I dunno if my qpp @the-dreamers-boy counts?

46. Zodiac: virgo sun and scorpio moon

47. Pronouns: they/them.

48. Favorite TV show(s): fma, pmmm, vld, probably other various anime i cant think of rn

49. Tattoos: none right now

50. Right or left hand: i’m right handed

51. Surgery: i had a gross abscess on my right wrist (probably from writing too much). In the future i’ll want top surgery and i might need hip surgery

52. Hair dyed a different color: as an experiment i dyed some strands magenta. They washed out to pink, and i kind of hated it, so i let it fade out.

53. Sports: I don’t play any.

54. Vacation: i’ve gone to niagara falls, canada, and various places out west in the states. I’d really like to go to spain, japan, and Mexico someday.

55. Shoes: for depression and summer’s sake, I’m often wearing either slippers, just socks, or flip-flops. When i have to go outside, i have a few pairs of converse, sneakers, and boots that get me by

56. Eating: i’m going to get food after i finish this, but the last thing i ate was ice cream last night (FUTURE ME REGRETS THIS BC IVE HAD TO FORMAT THIS THREE DAMN TIMES)

57. Drinking: i may end up drinking because it’s really big in my family, but i refuse to do it often.

58. I’m about to: get some fuckin food after 50 minutes of editing this format!!! Tumblr mobile doesn’t have an html editor :^)

59. Waiting for: marching band camp

60. Want: perhaps a love interest at some point? I mean i already mentioned other stuff (apartment, tablet, top surgery)

61. Get married: not sure. I think if i loved someone enough, i’d consider it.

62. Career: i don’t know. I want to do so many things. I think i will become either an architect or computer programmer, with my art on the side. Ideally, i’d want to be an editor, museum curator, physicist, or even an animator.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: hugs for me

64. Lips or eyes: Both are good

65. Shorter or taller: i’m in the middle (5'6"), but my qpp still loves to tease me abt it

66. Older or younger: um? Dating wise, in high school my partner shouldn’t be more than about a year older or younger b/c puberty is different every year. When i’m older i may have different standards. Friend wise? Ironically, i’m the youngest most of the time, yet i’m the wisest.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: i’m kinda a tummy person, but both are good

68. Sensitive or loud: im more sensitive. I can be loud when i’m comfortable around people, yet often I’m embarrassed after my outbursts.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m usually the voice of reason here.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: never.

72. Drank hard liquor: No.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I haven’t lost my glasses yet, but I wouldn’t be too surprised if i did. I’m a mess.

74. Turned someone down: i was asked out by two different straight dudes in middle school. I turned them both down

75. Sex on first date: i’m ace, so?

76. Broken someone’s heart: i’m unsure if i have or not

77. Had your heart broken: yes.

78. Been arrested: No

79. Cried when someone died: yes

80. Fallen for a friend: years ago, i thought i did.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: depends

82. Miracles: I believe they can happen but are very rare

83. Love at first sight: I don’t think love works that way, but who am i to tell others they’re wrong?

84. Santa claus: unfortunately no

85. Kiss on the first date: i’m not ready for that

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: jane!! (Her name’s actually sophia) @for-the-life-ofme

87. Eye color: light blue

88. Favorite movie: howl’s moving castle, coraline, kubo and the two strings

#about me #it actually took me a full hour to format this on my phone. kill me.

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choorky · 7 years

Note

answer all of the questions

cynthia,,,,, why,,,,,

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?yes idk why but im completely convinced that everything/everyone is fake

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?like 1.2

3. The person you would never want to meet?those 40 year old males who obsess over hentai

4. What is your favorite word?lately ive been calling a lot of things “iconic”

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?those really tall ones

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?that i need to brush my hair

7. What shirt are you wearing?:):):):) actually it’s the same shirt my boy lance wears

8. What do you label yourself as?sexuality wise? i am a Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room?it depends on the type of room and my mood? that makes sense, right?

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?sleeping tbh

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?4 or like 14/15

12. Who told you they loved you last?my dad i think

13. Your worst enemy?honestly i dont think i have one

14. What is your current desktop picture?an aesthetic picture that’s like “i feel so #000ff” it’s fly

15. Do you like someone?i enjoy my friends

16. The last song you listened to?just my soul responding by amber run,,,, i recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?oooo my older sister’s biological dad

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?same person as above,,, i rlly just want him to get rekt

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?anyone who would walk reset my internet/bring up food so i dont have to move

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)tbh my nails bc theyre my pride and joy

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?i would look like a guy version of myself and also i would try to figure out how penises work tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?i can hold my pee for very long periods of time lmao

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?stickers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will puke upon contact i promise

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.this is gross and very white but like,,, ham and lettuce

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?sugar glider/leopard gecko stuff tbh and also candy

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?probably somewhere in florida or something like that that isnt delaware

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? i would have normal/moral rules if that makes sense and would also change the spelling to pins cola da

29. What is your favorite expletive?i dont think i have a favorite tbh theyre all kinda neutral

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?,,dont make me get dark and edgy lololol goodbye repressed memories

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!canada or new zealand

34. What was your last dream about?i think it had something to do with band

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?i have to text u (cynthia) for this and you said “memer” so ya i would hope i am

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?yee, once i had an ear infection that spread to my bone and then like a week later it was completely unrelated but my stomach did something weird??

37. Have you ever built a snowman?yee

38. What is the color of your socks?i live in White Sock Hell

39. What type of music do you like?literally anything but country

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?vanilla bc im basic oops

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)the marching bands that play at football games/my school’s team bc im like that

43. Do you have any scars?ye i have them from a lot of different stuff but my favorite is from when i fell off a treadmill

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?something with music definitely. maybe music composition??

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?i would want to be better liked by people mjfiejfpskf oops

46. Are you reliable?i think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?im stuck between “do i get a girlfriend” and “do i do well at my all state auditions?”

48. Do you hold grudges?not really,,

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?a leopard glider

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?definitely something in my trombone group chat, probably everything we’ve ever talked about

51. Are you a good liar?i think so??? sometimes i laugh but for the most part

52. How long could you go without talking?everything irl thinks i never shut up but honestly when im not around my peers im the quietest person youll ever meet in your life

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?my old long hair before i got it cut bc it was so dead

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?nah i cant bake or cook

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?no oops

56. What do you like on your toast?butter,, the realistic option

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?balloons in french

58. What would be you dream car?a car i can use that doesnt break down

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.my showering process is weird. i’ll start with shampoo and then i’ll wash my body and then i’ll put condition in and while that’s chilling in my hair i’ll wash my face and then use shampoo and then rinse it all out. i take forever.

60. Do you believe in aliens?yes ofc who doesnt

61. Do you often read your horoscope?when it appears on my dash

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?w is a funny letter

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?dragons bc they can fly and shoot fire

64. What do you think about babies?people are like “theyre so cute!!” and then proceed to show me a picture of a potato

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.cynthia said: “fav meme”u nerd. it’s definitely the cursed image ones or the ones literally so stupid and wild that it’s funny

thank u for this adbventure

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mortecode · 7 years

Text

tagged by my dude @frnkierxo (it always makes me happy when you tag me in these hah) I'll tag @petes-nose @avvacadoo and @deathtml LAST: [1] Drink: - tea ;) [2] Phone call: -my mom lame [3] Text message: - also my mum lame [4] Song you listened to: - DJ by david bowie [5] Time you cried: - today cuz I had a fever of 104 and I thought I was dying but let's not talk about that HAVE YOU EVER… [6] Dated someone twice: - nope [7] Been cheated on: - Im pretty confident with saying no [8] Kissed someone and regretted it: - I dunno maybe when I was like 7 haha i was a hoe [9] Lost someone special: - I guess [10] Been depressed: - finger guns [11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: - not thrown up but uh LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] dark blue [13]red [14] darker yellow IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] Made new friends: - yessss hah [16] Fallen out of love: - yeah [17] Laughed until you cried: - so fuckenmuch [18] Found out someone was talking about you: - yea:/ [19] Met someone who changed you: - yes but shh [20] Found out who your true friends are: - nope im clueless [21] Kissed someone on your Facebook list: - i don't have Facebook whoop [22] How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: - wh o o p [23] Do you have any pets: - YES two kool kats [24] Do you want to change your name: - naw im chilling lol im cool with it if I don't think about it [25] What did you do for your last birthday: - i forget I think I just went to a beach or something [26] What time did you wake up: - well today I was sick so I woke up at around 1 cuz I didn't go to school but I usually wake up at 7am [27] What were you doing at midnight last night: - coughing my guts up and painting my nails [28] Name something you cannot wait for: - i dunno for something interesting in life to take me somewhere [29] When was the last time you saw your mother: - like 20 minutes ago [30] What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: - a lot of things but get out of school fduxkcjcj when's that gonna happen [31] What are you listening to right now: - I dunno I have die antwoord playing in the background but I tuned out accidentally fuck [32] Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: - Yes hi tom [33] Something that is getting on your nerves: kill me this fucking never ending fever [34] Most visited website: - probably twitter or tumblr hah [35] Elementary: - shit [36] High school: - shit [37]college: ..:s.h i t [38] Hair color: - my natural hairs like fucken blonde but I dyed it dark brown [39] Long or short hair: - i have long hair now but man i wanna cut my hair again? ? maybe sometime soon [40] Do you have a crush on someone: - it's more than a crush it's a life ruiner [41] What do you like about yourself: :/ I don't have to style my hair for it to look good haha I like that messier look I guess [42] Piercings - double earlobes and cartilage that i never put in ha [43] Blood type: - i don't know?! [44] Nickname: - frankis and freaky (franki=freaky haha) [45] Relationship status: - single and still angry lol [46] Zodiac sign: - Virgo sun and idk what a moon sign is sorry [47] Pronouns: - it's fucky like I really don't care but mostly she/her or she/they [48] Fav TV show: - I suck but the only tv show I've watched in the past like 9 months is stranger things so yah [49] Tattoos: - one on my right foot........ a stupid little smiley face named Nestor [50] Right or left handed: - right FIRST… [51] Surgery: - haven't had any [52] Piercing: - my ears [53] Best friend: - this annoying bitch that pushed me into a dollhouse I forget her name [54] Sport: - I dunno I think it was baseball [55] Vacation: - Virginia ..... that was only last year [56] Pair of trainers: - those fuckin jelly sandals um RIGHT NOW… [57] Eating: - soup [58] Drinking: - coffee cuz I suck [59] I’m about to: - get MORE soup ;) [60] Listening to: - still listening to D.A [61] Waiting for: - my icepack to freeze again:/ [62] Want: - a lot of things but like. I want my sickness to go away [63] Get married: - at some point but I jus wanna live life yanno [64] Career: - hhah nada [65] Hugs or kisses: - both?! [66] Lips or eyes: - they're both pretty [67] Shorter or taller: Depends on who we're talking about here - [68] Older or younger: - like relationship wise?? Older but not like......... 80year olds yknow I don't even know age is confusing [69] Romantic or spontaneous: - don't even kno [70] Nice arms or nice stomach: - yea I love it when someone has nice internal organs yanno... JOKING what even is that question [71] Sensitive or loud: - im both [72] Hook up or relationship: - I don't know I think im more of just relationship but you never know hah [73] Troublemaker or hesitant: - both as fuck HAVE YOU EVER… [74] Kissed a stranger? - nope [75] Drank hard liquor? - ye.z. :/ [76] Lost glasses/contact lenses? - currently dying cuz I lost my glasses again [77] Turned someone down: - yea i guess [78] Sex on first date? - don't know [79] Broken someone’s heart? - I hope not . Sorry if I did [80] Had your own heart broken? - well im pretty sure that's how it felt [81] Been arrested? - nope [82] Cried when someone died? - obviously [83] Fallen for a friend: - sadly and I hate myself for it DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] Yourself? - i don't know how [85] Miracles? - cliche. Next [86] Love at first sight? - sure [87] Santa Claus? - I guess not cuz my parents told me when I was like 8 [88] Kiss on the first date? - man I guess?? [89] Angels? - yep sure OTHER… [90] Current best friend’s name: -I don't know [91] Eye colour: - kinda grey with green [92] Favorite movie: honestly . Labyrinth and also frankenweenie

#about me #thanx Myles bless u

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backfist · 7 years

Note

1-104 d:

going to compress this for the people on mobile

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

“how in the world did i end up in texas? also what’s good you hungry?” @littytittymanda

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

we haven’t talked too much recently, she’s busy with school as am i

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

depends on the drug, and depends on how it affects them. but i care about them regardless so yes.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

way too long yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

too many times

7. What does your last received text say?

“how evil” about this ask, also from @littytittymanda

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

a lot actually lol, good hundred or 2 at least

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in a car behind a sushi restaraunt

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

when im an only child

11. What do you drink in the morning?

hella water, so much water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

they dont have to be!

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

oh a few things, definitely. school wise, people wise, etc.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

not really, we would just talk about life

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rain! my favourite!!

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

i dont think so? at least off the top of the dome

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

none ;D

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i could see it

20. Does anyone like you?

seems like they do!

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

yes indeed, 2 people

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

i dont think she is

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

indeed! ugh, i wish it wasnt that way

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

considered, yes, but unsure about the importance of it later in life

25. In the past week have you cried?

yes once

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

MY CHIHUAHUA

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

in the shower of course?? why would you do it out?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

if you count powderpuff games lmao, but no

29. Do you think you’re old?

not relatively but this is the oldest ive ever been so

30. Do you like text messaging?

yeah, its fun

31. What type of day are you having?

decent is the best word, nothing TOO big

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

no, never!

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold over warm is where i like to be, a mild 50 is perfect

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

of course.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

right now a fling because why not? but i definitely want a relationship in the future

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i would say simple on the outside, but complex at least to myself

37. What song are you listening to?

right now..nothing, but the commentary of the Raptors vs Bucks game

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

always. i hate being the cause of someone’s pain or anger.

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

@say-tonic

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i like a lot of people, and they’re all great

41. When did you last receive a text message?

just this instant

42. What is wrong with you right now?

eh who knows

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

decently? we only started talking a few weeks ago, so not much time but a good time

44. Does anyone disgust you?

LOL yes

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no, not right now

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

id say so yes! (:

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my buddy Chuck from work

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

im...not? there’s a pattern here

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

UH yeah, nothing too harsh though

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

sadly. a friend that has given up on trying to be successful in life.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

not at all.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

YES YES THIS IS A MISTAKEWEED NEGATIVITY OUT

53. Do you like rain?

UH ITS MY FAV BRING ME THE RAIN DAY AND NIGHT EVERY DAY

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

not particularly, unless if becomes a problem

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

AHAHAHA YES YES

56. Do you like to cuddle?

WHO DOESNT ARE YOU SERIOUS

57. Are you shy?

somewhat, more introverted but im a lot more open with people i feel comfortable with

58. Do you get along with girls?

id say so. i feel like i’m a very respectful person overall and that goes a long way

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

nope lol

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and wallet and keys

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

i will spend a month in there give me a flashlight and some food

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

i CAN but will i? thats the question

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

no no

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

hella

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

not really from what i can remember! oh well lmao

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

wow 3? gotta think about this one hmm.

22 / 24 / 22

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

shoot im paying, need an expert

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

both gaudy, but zebra

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i dont have my own car!!!!! :(

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

i hate country so by default lil wayne

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

ANDROID 5000

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

wow at least like..5/6 years ago. pizza hut is overrated

73. Do you like diet soda?

bad soda bad yuck

74. What color are the walls in your room?

beige

75. Are you 16 or older?

NAH SON IM 11

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

watched it once, was decent, dont think id watch again

77. Do you have a job?

heck yeah! get the money

78. What are your initials?

J D K

79. Did you ever have braces?

you said i got gum stuck in them all the time? heck yeah

80. Are you from the south?

no im from M I C H I G A N

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

“PC Gamers; what steam games do you reccommend?”

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

heck yeah! we’re cool (:

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

mom 100000 percent

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

gymnastics when i was just a BABY BOY

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

oh gosh uh..that would have to have been..not the current one, but the last Fast and Furious movie

86. Do you smoke?

not about it!

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

FLIP MY FLOP

88. Is your phone touch screen?

HECK YEAH I LOV IT

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

straight because it’s so damn shorty

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

almost impossible, i live on the second floor

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

POOLNEVER IN LAKE OR RIVERS I CANT NOPE

92. Have you ever made out in a car?

you betcha, it was pretty great

93. …Had sex in a car?

lol haven’t had sex

94. Are you single or in a relationship?

single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

talking to a friend and on here DUH

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

4th of july last year i think

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

its pretty good! i take too many selfies to end up deleting them

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

kind of, yeah. an ex that was a best friend that becamne that, and then back to being good friends

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

LMAO no i’ve only drank twice

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i dont think so? that’s pointless

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

L M A O NOPE I WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

the acoustic version of Die Young

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

hasn’t been sunny enough so no!

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

LMAO WHY NOT CALL ME THE SHERIFF

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