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kyotakumrau · 3 years

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GIGS No519 Interview 京 [Voice]

GIGS 2021 JUN released on April 27th (interview itself was done on April 6th)

The last solo interview is with Kyo. In the previous interviews, all band members from the music instrument squad all mentioned ‘simple’ in reference to Oboro. Yet how did he perceive the song and what feelings were put into the lyrics? Let’s discuss it thoroughly.

The most important thing is that I want to be able to let out honestly what I want express, what I see, what I felt or thought that one moment.

text: Yukinobu Hasegawa photos: Reishi Eguma translation: kyotaku (pls let me know if you see any mistakes!)

You can get GIGS 6月号 on Amazon Japan or HMV or CDJapan or TOWER RECORDS or other shops!

――It shows in the footage enclosed in the deluxe and first press editions of ‘Oboro’ that the songwriting for the new album started quite some time ago.

京 I was probably working on various things without thinking about a single, so I don’t really remember when was it. I’m working on songs aaaaaaaall the time (laughing). I don’t really grasp when each song was done or which one will become a single, so honestly speaking I don’t really know.

――You’re also doing sukekiyo. I have many chances to speak with sukekiyo members and they were surprised that ‘Kyo will be sending new songs ideas or melody anytime’ (laughing). Is your pace of coming up with ideas as high with DIR EN GREY?

京 On the contrary, I’m not saying much in case of DIR EN GREY. Just about ‘I’m looking forward to it’. I’m not writing songs, so upon listening to the demo of the song sent by other members I just give them my opinion like ‘how about we change it a bit like this?’ or ‘this way is good’.

――At the time you started writing songs did you already have an idea what you wanted for the next album?

京 I didn’t. Not at all, I felt I could read this and that about the album from the direction we were going from the atmosphere of the songs the members brought in earlier. In our case we often don’t have talks like ‘let’s make an album like this’. So, on the contrary I usually don’t say much about things like album image, I think we can make more irregular thing if I keep a flat position.

――So even you are looking forward to what kind of response you will have when listening to the song’s demo?

京 I am.

――Because of the spread of COVID-19 it’s hard to move around now, so how do you get input for the music, art and so on?

京 Nah, I don’t really do anything. If you ask about input... the most I do is watching various news.

――Do you feel that the things happening around you and around the world are something that drive you when you’re expressing yourself?

京 I’m sure they do. What I think when I see and feel various things, how I communicate that, it’s about that.

――The single ‘Ochita koto no aru sora’ you released last year had a digital release only thus there were no lyrics included, but fans listened to the song many times to try to understand the lyrics. As a result, I think they realized that it’s a song with a dreadful/intense message. Because lyrics include a such date as ‘㋇㏥・August the 6th’ among other things, there was a reaction also from fans around the world.

京 Frankly, I don’t check fans reactions. I don’t know what people will think after listening, but I don’t want to talk about the atomic bomb. In the end, the fighting continues, the same things keep happening again and again...like that. I think there are many issues, but there’s no right answer to them, it’s all just collisions of what we ourselves think is right and just. That’s why you can’t say that something is bad as a rule. It’s just one way of thinking, there are many ways we can look at things. For example, currently during the pandemic holding a concert is the right thing to do or not, won’t the answer and the way of thinking be different for every person? Now more than ever we got a situation when it’s very difficult to say ‘this is the way’. It’s the way I feel now seeing various things.

――Because of COVID-19 there’s a lot of hate crime against Asians in the US. It’s a crime, but the people who commit it may see it as an act of justice.

京 That’s true. There are also many other issues like the gender discrimination, in all of them Japan is seen as lagging behind. It can’t be simply denied because the situation now and in the past is different, depending on the country or culture the way people feel or think is also different. It’s a difficult issue, isn’t it?

――I think you write many lyrics that make us think about that. There’s not only grieving in ‘Ochita koto no aru sora’, there’s a positive message at the end. That really resonated with me. Do you feel like the way you express and communicate things has changed?

京 No, I don’t think anything changed.

――I’d like to talk about ‘Oboro’ now, it seems like it was a pick out of few songs. What was your impression when you listened to the original song?

京 It was like all demos felt more like the album songs than a single. It’s normal as we originally didn’t start working on them thinking about creating a single, most of the songs were intended for the album and we decided to finish one as a single. Recently we had many up-tempo singles, so I thought it would be a good idea to release a ballad, not as epic as previous ones, but a ballad that could be included on the album.

――What kind of response did you have when you listened to the original song for the first time? Talking about the lyrics, I thought that because of the pandemic it became difficult to move around, and the thoughts have turned inwards. You told me [at t an interview] some years ago that you had some traumatic events, I thought [lyrics] relate to them.

京 In terms of the worldwiev and lyrics, recently there were no lyrics directed at one person, a lot of them had a message from a very broad perspective, that’s why first thing I wanted to do was to have a narrower worldview. So when I listened to the original song and the scene emerged [in my mind], the past songs videos are very broad. This isn’t a continuation but it was a start for me to want to put something like that together. It’s not about my own trauma, it’s a narrow worldview inside a big worldview. And without using grotesque expressions, I wanted to depict various feelings like love or hatred, and wrote lyrics with that in mind.

――The past songs you mentioned were also songs that had music videos made for them at the time. I was actually watching the video and having a flashback. The pain and agony of a woman, and I dare say her feelings about her aborted baby. That’s what gives a shape [to the new song]. At the moment is your expression or the direction of what you want to bring up in your lyrics changing?

京 I don’t mean it like we all should try being positive (thinking about the future) together, but as one should think about various things, I always want to write about what we think is the right path or what is just. But as I said before, what is right varies per person. It’s something I want to write about on the next album in the future.

――In other words, like stabbing/piercing each person’s feelings?

京 Well, yes. I think I’ve been thinking like that since the last album The Insulated World, but this time I’d like to go further into that direction... I mean it’s not like I have something precise I want to convey or I want to bring up this and that. The most important thing is that I want to be able to let out honestly what I want express, what I see, what I feel or think that very moment.

――As your age and work experience accumulate, I think people’s ideas and thinking will also change. What can you think of [that has changed] in the last few years?

京 Nothing (laughing). It’s not something you know about yourself. On the contrary I want to stay without changing. To change because the world is becoming a certain way is really not like me, I was always my own type of person, so I want to continue as I am. This is something I’m saying all the time, but I hate fixed ideas, I want to be always free to express myself. But there’s not much freedom in the world nowadays. Besides the problem with COVID-19, many countries have civil wars. That’s where we learn the importance of freedom again, and I also wondered if having a lot of freedom is not justice. When you start thinking like that it messes with your head, but I want to be free just in the world of expression. I feel like this is a one right no one can take away from me.

I think the most negative thing, for fans, for the band and for me, is not being able to show our real selves at the concerts.

――Are you taking that stance now as well when you’re writing for an album?

京 Nah, I haven’t written anything yet. We’re in the early stage of pre-production, so it’s not the point where I write lyrics yet. The songs are still in the middle of being changed, so it’s like I want to see more of them. Also, most songs don’t have a melody decided for them. And what I feel and think, what I want to express, things inside of me are changing every day. I want to be able to pack as current me as possible into [the lyrics], and to put into lyrics as recent images from the songs as possible, so I haven’t decided on them yet.

――Did you write the lyrics for ‘Oboro’ just before song-writing time as well?

京 Yeah. After the length/scale of the song is mostly decided in pre-production next is a step when I’m inserting temporary lyrics and then start recording.

――You have a [recording] vocal booth at home, so did you record ‘Oboro’ deciding the vocal direction by yourself?

京 If it was different, I probably wouldn’t be singing. I don’t want to go to a studio outside (laughing).

――Do you sing creating an environment for the song’s world like getting your room all dark when recording?

京 Nah, I’m a person who doesn’t do things like that, I can do it anywhere as long as I have a vocal booth. Just, I sing when I want to sing. When using a studio from what time and until what time is decided, engineers have their schedules, so even if I’m not happy with something and want to rerecord it, it takes time to get ‘let’s listen to it’ or ‘I’m gonna organize data’. And sometimes that timing doesn’t match my own rhythm. And, there are times when I want to sing soon after waking up or want to sing when I’m anguished not being able to sleep. I value this kind of speed so I can’t record outside my house anymore.

――In ‘Oboro’, even the trembling of your throat when your voice comes out got recorded, which helps the listener to get into the song even more. What were you looking for in terms of singing?

京 It’s a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it? In the past I was singing with my emotions so my mannerism/habits would really come out hard. After that I tried to get rid of them as much as possible, and as much as possible tried singing putting emphasis on the pitch and timing. For example, when the timing of each sound in first A melody and second A melody didn’t match perfectly, I would be unhappy, but now I just sing naturally so the timing can be a bit off. I deliberately sing with the feelings that were matching the flow of the song, so I don’t record with the intention of singing perfectly.

――You absolutely prioritise the emotions?

京 That’s right. But in case of ‘Oboro’, the lyrics don’t have a worldview where the emotions get stirred up to just burst out. They are hidden inside, I thought it would be interesting to sing in a restrained way without exploding. With that point, I recorded the song with the emphasis on the flow of the song. And I think I will keep that point the same when recording the album.

――There was a time when you were thinking like drawing a blueprint with many different voice tones and the arrangement of the choruses, it was interesting for you to play tricks with them, right?

京 There was a time when I pulled that out as a part of me, but now I want to pull other parts out. Increasing the things I can pull out, if I think the approach you just described is good, I just have to drag it all out. When I listen to the album as a whole, if I think there’s not enough appeal, I’d try a more gimmicky approach. In the end I won’t be satisfied with myself. I want to keep searching for more and more new ways, not only sing the way I’ve sung before.

――You had this kind of attitude from the start. As a coupling song for the single you have a customary self-remake song. This time it’s ‘TDFF’, to listen to the original song from the past again... ah, you don’t do it. I’m shaking my head for jumping into your answer (laughing).

京 I just briefly look at the old lyrics and decide I want to keep this part, I don’t need this part and so on. To some extend in myself I’ll just extract some part and from there extend the image and add things to it.

――Is it like breathing new life into a song?

京 Nah, it’s just the 2021 version. If we redid it now it’d look like this. We wanted to keep as many good parts as possible, but there were also parts where we felt ‘here it’d have been better to go with this’, so they got changed in the current version.

――By changing the song to a newest version can you see your attitude towards the singing or your thoughts?

京 I’m always putting in the things I’m feeling at that time, so I think to an extend I can see it. But it was originally a simple song, so it was easy.

――It was also recorded in your vocal booth at your home, right? I think I’d actually like to have a peek at you singing to see what’s it like (laughing).

京 Ah, it’s a really simple booth about the size of the phone booth. There’s a small thing working as a desk and I put my computer there, singing while sitting down and using a hand-held mic. I don’t want to use a recording standard stand mic. I want to sing as much as possible the same way I sing at concerts. But there’s no space for me to stand up so I sing sitting down (laughing). But in my case, it doesn’t matter if I’m singing standing or sitting down or sleeping (laughing).

――It doesn’t really affect your concentration.

京 I usually can finish recording one song in less than 2 hours, so I think anyone can concentrate for about 2 hours (laughing).

――The 3rd song on the single is a live track. How do you feel about performing without the audience?

京 Honestly speaking the songs that require a response [from the fans] were a bit tiring, but there was no change with the songs focusing on the worldview or the songs that just explode. Doing it naturally is about doing it naturally. I haven’t listened to that live track yet, but yeah.

――But yeah (laughing). Did you choose the song that got the most votes?

京 Nah, I’m okay with any live track. Like ‘please choose whichever you want’, I leave it to the other members or the people in the company. Concert is a raw thing (=unedited, live), I had many live tracks in the past where my voice was all messed up or where I was singing cleanly. That’s why now I don’t have anything that would make me go ‘wait, this is a bit...’. I think the me from that time is packed there so anything is fine.

――You’re soon going to have a first in a while concert with the audience on May the 6th. I think you might answer ‘not at all’, but how are you approaching it?

京 Today I was at the concert film screening event in Osaka, and we talked there about the concert. And I said there that because it’s still a month away I don’t think about it (laughing). Listen, if you were told you will be having this and that for dinner in a month, you would listen with only half an ear being ‘yeah got it’ (=you’d forget it next moment) (laughing). I start thinking about it about a week before the concert. I’m not the type of person to go ‘I’ll do my best!’, I’ll just let out my honest feelings at the time.

――During the time when you didn’t have the type of space or time that is a performance with the audience, were there any moments when you started wondering ‘what are concerts?’ and so on?

京 No, there weren’t. There were moments when I felt like I’d like to do a show, but I didn’t really think about things like ‘why are we doing concerts?’ or ‘what are concerts for me?’. It’s not like all my music activities stopped, so I didn’t have a moment to think that deeply about it. If anything, rather than us I think it’s the fans who were thinking about it.

――Because for many people concerts are something they live for. Kyo, you’re looking healthy.

京 There were times when it was very hard for me mentally, I don’t know what was the reason. Now... I’m trying not to think too much about unnecessary things. I’m trying to only think about what’s in front of me or about things I’m able to do now, I’m trying not to push myself too much. I’m trying to accept myself as I naturally am. But even then, there are still things that keep piling up, making me worry endlessly. I wish I would be able to let them erupt at concerts. I think the most negative thing, for fans, for the band and for me, is not being able to show our real selves at the concerts.

#dir en grey #kyo #京 #GIGS #interview #translation

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thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness · 3 years

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GIGS No519 Interview Toshiya [Bass]

Despite the hidden gimmick elements in the new single “Oboro”, which brings to the fore “simplicity” and “clearness”, Toshiya’s bass sound has a strong presence. With his words, we are going to start the second half of the solo interviews.

“[Oboro] is a song that holds both DIR EN GREY’s essence and novelty. For me, rather than that uniqueness and novelty, I felt this is going to be the core song of the album.”

Notes before reading: This is Toshiya’s solo interview from GIGS No519 June issue released on April 27th.

You can buy the magazine at Amazon Japan. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) ----------------- *Toshiya’s interview comes after Kaoru’s, Die’s and an analysis of the latest gear, that’s why in the introduction of his interview the “second half” of the solo interviews is mentioned.* Text by Yukinobu Hasegawa Photos by Reishi Eguma. -You were already composing and arranging songs for the new album and from that, “Oboro” was first announced as a single. What kind of mindset did you have when you tried to move on to the next album from the previous one “The Insulated World”,released in 2018? T: At the beginning, I didn’t have any specific image of the album as a whole. -I think you want that (image) to appear naturally while you are doing the creation work. T: That’s right but as I feel like I’m always making songs, whenever I start, I only have the mindset of “let’s make something good”. -The songs you composed (from early stage) have not been released to the world yet but, what kind of songs did you make? T: Surprisingly, simple songs. Not very detailed. But I think it depends on the song. I started writing songs thinking I wanted to make something different from the previous DIR EN GREY, but there were some parts that seemed too different for me. So, I feel like I'm still searching for the direction of them. -Looking back at the various songs that you’ve made in the past, I feel like you tend to prefer an avant-garde* approach. So, I was a little surprised when you told me you were working on a simple song.

* Avant-garde is a tend for music that sounds nothing like the music we're accustomed to, experimental, considered to be at the forefront of innovation. T: Ah, I see. But basically, I think I'm a simple person. I've made songs that feel avant-garde but it’s just that such songs were easy to be accepted/used (by the band). I don't know the specific reason, but I think it's probably because the range of the band will be expanded. However, many of the songs I make myself are very simple. -Even if you say "simple", I think people feel differently about it. For example, Shinya also says his drum playing is “simple" but it's actually very difficult. How does that simplicity that you mentioned feel for you? T: That's right…..I'm wondering how to describe it, but to put it simply, it may not be something very DIR EN GREY-ish. I think many of the simple songs I make are like that. -What do you think that is “DIR EN GREY-ish”? T: Our band is probably "heavy" or "intense"…. Another things that is often said (about the band) is “complexity”, I think that’s the image of the band. With that in mind, the songs I make aren't very DIR EN GREY-ish. Of course, when I write a song, I'm aware of that. -Do you dare to make something that it’s far apart from those ideas? T: It’s the other way round. I’m not trying to do something close to that, but I’m like “I have to take it in the direction of DIR EN GREY a little more". But from that point on, I started thinking, "How about getting too close?”, "It's more interesting to be in a slightly different place." Well, I might just think those things on my own (laughs). -Are the avant-garde songs born from those thoughts? I think musical input and stimulation are also important when you are composing. In 2020, we were in a situation in which you couldn’t do many public activities but, how did you get that input during that time? T: Basically, even with this corona situation, there are some things that haven’t changed much. If I had to say something, I can spend more time on composition and production as there are no tours or live performances. Regarding the input part, it seems to have changed, but I feel like it hasn't changed. Besides, I don’t think it’s something I’m conscious about so, I haven’t changed anything in my music because of Corona. -Last year in August, “Ochita koto no aru Sora” was released in a digital format but, I think this song has a complex pattern in the development of the next step. What was in your mind when you were arranging and recording this song? T: Riffs are also the main melody of the song so I basically listened to the guitar riffs and arranged it so I could put my own play in some parts. In terms of sound making, there isn’t much change. Making in a basic way the feeling of my favourite distortion, it feels like mixing various things there. -For the past few years, you've been actively experimenting with various bass effectors every time you record, but have you tried several of these in the "Ochita koto no aru Sora" recording? T: Basically, I don’t remember which one I used anymore (laughs), but the basic system hasn’t changed, the head is an ampeg cabinet from the 70s, I think it was SWR. In the recording of the previous album "The Insulated World" the bass I used was also a dingwall one. That bass can be used for almighty (pedal). *1.A bass cabinet is the box with the speaker. 2.Ampeg is a manufacturer best known for its bass amplifiers. 3.SWR Sound Corporation is a specialist manufacturer of bass guitar amplifiers, preamps, speaker cabinets, and acoustic guitar amplifiers. 4. Dingwall Designer Guitars is a canadian manufacturer of bass guitars. 5. Almightty is driver pedal for bass.

- “Ochita koto no aru Sora” was a song with a positive message. Did you find a new direction as a band giving shape to this song?

T: There might some different aspects now but at that time, it may not have changed. I don't think we can completely overlook that, so I can't say anything about it. However, “Ochita koto no aru Sora” itself was made completely to be a single. That's why there may be new things, but surprisingly, I have a strong sense of putting out what was inside us in that way. In what way is it the opposite? Does it feel “new”?

-There are various elements, but I feel that each one is like DIR EN GREY-ish. However, it resonates very much that the lyrics leads from a negative perspective to a positive one.

T: I see. Regarding the lyrics, I think it’s a continuation of the taste of other songs we’ve done so far, but I don’t know because I haven’t asked. However, although the flow of the lyrics are not the same in content, I felt like it was written from a close place.

-The song that follow this one is the new single “Oboro”. Kaoru wrote the original melody but, what was your impression when you first listened to it?

T: I don't think it's much different from the finished form in terms of feelings. The intro had this kind of atmosphere from the beginning. I think it's a song that holds both DIR EN GREY’s essence and newness. However, I personally felt that "this is the core song in the album" rather than being unique or new. As a result, “Oboro” became a single, but at first it wasn’t written with that purpose. We suddenly talked abour releasing a single and after that, as we all agreed that it was a good song for that, we decided to choose it as a single.

-From what part of the song did you feel that it was going to be the core of the album?

T: I felt that this ballad-type atmosphere and feeling really stands out in the album. Because of that, we decided to release it as a single, but we haven't released many singles like this, so I think it made a good change.

-The fact that you feel that a ballad with a melody it's going to be the core of the album….does that mean that the other songs are the opposite of it? It seems to be quite an atmosphere where this amazing song was born! (laughs)

T: Well, I can't say anything about that because not all of them have come out yet (laughs). However, it's easier to make a slightly up-tempo songs, so I wonder if there are many songs like that for now. Even if I actually make a song, I don't know if it will be included in the album, so I can't really say anything about the direction of the album or the feeling of the songs. However, "Ochita koto no aru Sora" was made to become a single, so there are a lot of parts of it that hit the target. And as for "Oboro", I felt that it was meant to be release as a single, but also that it was meant to be kept for the album.

-For example, do you change the arrangements and the bass approach if it's an album song or a single song?

T: Yes, it changes. It's completely different for me if is going to be a single or if it is going to be a song for the album. Even if I make the original melody, it’s different on how much time it takes. Singles are harder to do. You can work more relaxed if it is a the song for the album. For singles, I feel that the part I am aiming for as a bassist is very strong at the time of elaborating the arrangement.

“If you think that everyone has slowed down in many ways, I think you can start running again. I think it's better to act than to think. So, I'm looking forward to the future.”

-Did you do a lot of trial and error in your part when you made the bass arrangement for "Oboro"?

T: It’s really a minor part. It feels like the details are boiled down when it seems to be a bass phrase like that in a rough flow. The bass in the demo of the original song had many root-playing (basic) phrases so, how to elaborate them from there? what do to with the cadence? However, “Oboro” has a bass line that snuggles up to the song, I think this phrase has the strongest awareness of song melody.

-While focusing on that sustain-based roots playing components, some bass phrase will come up when you are doing the arrangements but won’t turn out very showy. And when it comes to the ending of the song, it will show fierceness while increasing the distortion of the sound. I felt it was a carefully selected phrasing.

T: I think it’s easier to hear it at the ending of the song, but that distortion is actually there during the whole song. Not only the ending part is distorted but also the beginning. However, when all the instruments came together, I don’t think that distorted feeling could be properly heard. Even if it's distorted that much, surprisingly, it goes well easily. I usually have two patterns at the time of recording. For example, even if you use the same distortion effect, the distortion is applied with a little shallow sound like a hunting sound. So, this time, it was a way of finding what I felt comfortable with when it got mixed with the sound of the band.

-So the reason why you can’t hear that distortion in the first half or the middle of the song is because it got completely blended once the sound of the band got together?

T: That's right. I think there is a perception that if it is distorted, the sound will inevitably be drawn into it. However, if it's distorted that much, it gives a plump low feeling and you can see the phrase. It's simply because we don't stack as many guitars as we used to. Sometimes the sound of each instrument can be heard firmly, so the approach can be focused on what you want to hear. To put it simply, I think it's a big thing that the direction of the band has become simpler. So, in recent years, I think the balance of the band is very good at the time of put together each member’s part. I think that vocals are especially attractive in "Oboro".

-Kyo is very fast adding the lyrics, I’ve heard that he finished recording his part before the instruments (recording) were done.

T: That's right. "Oboro" already had the vocals done at the stage of recording the bass. However, although he recorded it first, in the end this part will be the last one. After all, it seems that there are parts he wants to record again once the other parts (instruments) are added. However, even if it is not the final form of the lyrics, if they are already included, the nuance of the phrase will change. Maybe it’s the same with the other members. I think everyone ends up arranging their parts for the lyrics.

-So, the idea was to keep the bass of "Oboro" as simple as possible?

T: Whether you're playing or listening, it was a simple form that seemed comfortable. I think a phrase that requires a lot of work is also good. If there is a song that suits that idea, I wonder if I should take a laborious approach. In that aspect, I thought the dynamic of “Oboro” feels as pleasant as possible. However, I was allowed to play a bit with it. I think the proportion and the sense of balance are also good.

-Did you choose to record some takes while changing your approach?

T: "Oboro" was decided by the current phrase from the time I did pre-production work at home.So, when I recorded in the the band's pre-production room, I just made a few minor corrections when I made the actual recording. As for the mix, regarding my part, it was a good feeling from the beginning

-Neal Avron has been appointed as a mix engineer this time. Did his mixing work significantly change the nuances of the bass sound?

T: It has changed. But the biggest change depending on the engineer is the sound of the drums. More like, I feel that the personality of the engineer can be understood in this aspect. Personally, I think the vivid and deep sound of the "Oboro" drums is good.

-A remake of your song "T.D.F.F" is recorded as one of the couplings. What kind of mindset did you have approaching this song including the arrangement?

T: As always, I thought about the phrase from the perspective of what it would sound like if it were done by my current self. When we do a remake, I listen to the original version of the song to confirm what I was playing at that time. Sometimes it's interesting to discover that I was playing it live with the wrong idea(laughs).

-The person that you were at that time is brought back as well?

T: There are times that happens when we rethink our approach. It was like this at that time, but I think it's different to do this phrase now, or to do it with a different feeling. Some of the old songs are due to youth, I have a variety of knowledge and experience now. So, there are times when I change to an approach with a completely different interpretation, and there are parts where I want to play faithfully to the original. For example, keep faithful to the main phrase that would change everything if you changed that. At the time of "THE UNRAVELING" (released in April 2013), I had a strong desire to change everything if I wanted to remake it, so I changed it completely, but in recent years I have been thinking about the original carefully and the idea is to put my current sense into that. Because when you're making a song, it's your song, but it's not only yours. In that case, it’s better to capture our thoughts and the memories and the thoughts of the fans together in order to shape that song in a good way. If you want to make a bold change, I think you should use that idea to create a new song with it.

-The other coupling song is a live track from the concert without audience at Meguro Rockmaykan. What do you remember about this?

T: It's one of the first stages I've stood on since I became a member of DIR EN GREY, but the Rockmaykan with no audience felt strange. When the live starts, there is only one thing to do, so it's not much different from usual. But I’m not sure if there is something extra in it. It’s not about the call and response (from the audience), I think that the tension inside me is different depending if there are fans or not. After all it is more interesting to have audience. It can also inspire you. I think that such a form of live is also a possibility in times of Corona, but it doesn’t have to be like this every time. However, I learned a lot from this new experience with this new way of expression. Besides, it was a confirmation that there are various things that can be done in a situation like this.

-After this, there is a concert with audience on May 6th. How are you feeling now?

T: I'm looking forward to it and I'm happy. Above all, I am very grateful to be able to perform in front of the audience. Something that used to be normal is not normal anymore, so I wish I could do it with a new feeling.I think the world has simply changed due to Corona. Until now, everyone was running, and I think there was a huge difference between each person’s position. However, because it's all gone, to put it the other way around, everyone restarted from the same position. How does each person perceive that? Of course, the negative effects of corona are huge, but just thinking negatively does not change anything. So, if you think that everyone has slowed down in many ways, I think you can start running again. I think it's better to act than to think. So, I'm looking forward to the future.

#dir en grey #toshiya #translation #gigs #oboro #toshiyatranslations

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snarkywrites · 3 years

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April Horoscopes: Manifestation

Aries Season is here adding drama, love, and courageous energy into our lives. After seasons with mostly Earth and Air planets, we are back to Cardinal. This is the start of the Astrological New Year and it has arrived with an influx of passion. Venus and the Sun are already in Aries this month and Mercury will enter on the 3rd. One transit to look forward to is the New Moon in Aries on the 11th. Set your intentions and dream big because this Moon will not be afflicted by Saturn. Instead, it is embraced by both Saturn and Jupiter. We will be welcoming the powerful Taurean energy on the 14th when Venus will be in domicile. Sun and Mercury will follow on the 19th, adding to a huge stellium that will conflict with Saturn. Nevertheless, this energy is still lovely and romantic. Mars will shift into a water sign after a long time and the Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th will add more of that dreamy water energy. A reminder with this Full Moon and the Pluto Retrograde on the 27th, that there is still internal work to be done but we can still feel and embrace the magic and inspiration it will bring.

Aries – Your birthday season is here bringing you a period of contemplation and a little chaos. Mercury enters your sign on the 3rd changing the way we communicate from dreamy to daring and brash. This planet in your sign builds our momentum fuels us with passion and even more drive since it will be joining the Sun and Venus. When the New Moon enters your sign on the 11th, we will be fortunate to experience more of that Cardinal energy that will help us move forward. Expect some magic and manifestation powers during this New Moon. If you want it, envision, and go for it. Venus will be in the sign of Taurus beginning on the 14th. The energy now translates to “treat yourself” and you shall during your birthday season. Venus enjoys being in this sign, so more of the good will accompany you during this time. Another interesting transit will be on the 23rd when Mars enters the sign of Cancer. It will be a frustrating transit as this planet will squaring your sign until June. Try to be patient, because Mars will have you repeating tasks if you do not work things out properly the first time. Get focused, keep going and have fun. The Full Moon in Scorpio will be on the 26th, adding some exhilarating and teary moments as you focus on letting go. Finally, the month closes with a Pluto retrograde on the 27th which is going to allow you to reevaluate your career choices for the next five months once again. Card of the month: Ace of Cups Reversed; create fearlessly.

Taurus – Your birthday season also begins middle of the month but some notable transits for you are Mercury entering the sign of Aries on the 3rd. Here you will be reflective as Mercury joins the Sun and Venus in your house of the subconscious. The New Moon on the 11th will be a great time for you to set your intentions regarding what you wish to gain and what you aspire to do in the next six months. A favorable aspect will be Venus entering your sign on the 14th. You are going to feel lucky and beautiful. Mercury and the Sun will join Venus on the 19th. You are going to be feeling more in your element once Taurus season begins on that day. Mars will enter the sign of Cancer on the 23rd, motivating you to create and produce. Socializing will not be an issue now as you can acquire more fame through social media if you put your all into it. The Scorpio Full Moon on the 26th will once again have you contemplating relationships as you look once again to those dynamics at work and your personal life. Issues relating to October 2020 might reappear demanding you to resolve them. Pluto will close the month with a retrograde in the sign of Capricorn on the 27th, making a positive aspect to your sign. More of that transformative energy will continue to follow you since Uranus is also in your sign demanding changes that will make you uncomfortable, but you can handle it. Card of the month: King of Cups; don’t be afraid of emotions or romance.

Gemini – Mars is currently in your sign making a positive aspect to Jupiter and Saturn. You are making things work and getting things done. Mercury, your ruler will be in Aries on the 3rd. This brings a positive dynamic between Mercury and Mars, which will add to your creative spirit and it will surprise you to see how much content you can produce if you keep at it. The New Moon in Aries on the 11th is a good time to put your projects out there because you could get the recognition you have been dreaming of. Taurus Season begins on the 19th when Sun and Mercury move in to join Venus. During this transit, you will want to take a break from the world and recharge as you await your season’s entry next month. Mars will leave your sign and enter the sign of Cancer on the 23rd, making you work harder for the money. The focus and dedication will allow you to build up your income, just make sure not to overspend. On the 26th, the Full Moon in Scorpio is a period of evaluation when it comes to your daily routines and habits. More contemplative energy followed the next day with Pluto Retrograde in the sign of Capricorn. This transits in conjunction could inspire a trip down memory lane but you will just smile and look back because you are on your way to more success. Card of the month: Queen of Pentacles; Be confident in your position of power.

Cancer – As a Cardinal sign you are probably looking for a way to feel more in control this month. Mercury enters the sign of Aries on the 3rd, allowing you to set your sights on the top and manifest greater things. It is the time to make your career dreams come true as the New Moon in Aries graces your house of career on the 11th. With this Stellium, you are on your way to making big moves and acquiring big things if you plan and get to work. A lot of heart, passion and focus will get you anywhere this year. Taurus energy will be amplified with Venus entering this sign on the 14th. This is a great time to receive praise for the work you have done and to have some fun connecting with colleagues or friends. On the 19th, we enter Taurus Season and Mercury tags along with the Sun to build on your need for socializing and the Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th adds some excitement and intensity to your house of romance. There will be huge decisions to be made when Pluto goes retrograde on the 27th that will focus on your relationships. There could be people from the past returning in your life. You have the choice to embrace or let them go. Card of the month: Ace of Swords: Use your creative energy now.

Leo – Like the other fire signs, you are going to embrace Aries season since it will make you feel quite excited. The expansive energy that this point in time will bring you is great for pursuing dreams and achievement before the summer. Mercury will enter the sign of Aries on the 3rd, so if you are in school or contemplating going back, you might feel encouraged to go with it and pick the program you are interested in pursuing. You are going to want to digest information during this transit and once the New Moon in Aries occurs on the 11th, you will feel more confident in what you envision for your future. Taurus Season begins on the 19th, which means you are going to shift gears and focus on achievement and recognition during this transit. You have the favorable energy from Venus that will allow you to shine brightly and impress either professors or bosses. When Mars enters the sign of Cancer on the 26th, you are going to want to retreat from the world and this is perfect since it will allow you to work hard on your pending projects or just find new ways to excel at work. The Pluto Retrograde will open your eyes and allow you to express yourself in ways that are going to be more beneficial in the long run. Card of the month: Six of Pentacles Reversed; Focus on yourself more.

Virgo – Aries Season might not feel like much of an inspiration to you as the intense Pisces Season’s magic continues to linger. Mercury enters Aries on the 3rd, which can be an uncomfortable placement for you. You might reconnect with the past and understand your need to make changes in the future especially with the New Moon in Aries on the 11th, prompting you to let go and forgive. Venus in Taurus on the 14th initiates a period of harmony for you. The Sun and Mercury join Venus on the 19th, officially creating a stellium in Taurus. This is going to bring some answers to the questions posed during Aries Season. If you are focused on relationships this period, try to heal before entering a serious one. Taurus Season will give you the courage to face what is to come and peace of mind. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th will have you traveling and communicating. Put your thoughts in writing to release tension and pain. The Pluto Retrograde on the 27th will once more magnify any issues with relationships and romance. Forgive, let go and be open to love. Card of the month: Five of Wands Reversed; opt for peace not chaos.

Libra – You are going to enjoy the powerful energy that this Aries Season has in store for you. Venus and the Sun are already creating harmonious energies to your romantic life. If you are single, you might meet someone interesting during this three-week period before Taurus Season begins. Mercury will be in the sign of Aries on the 3rd, making you bolder when it comes to communicating. The New Moon in Aries on the 11th will be a great time to fall in love again with your partner. Your heart may be full of joy during this transit since there is a sextile to Jupiter, it will bring pleasure and will inspire you. This is powerful and welcoming energy you need to close out this season. Taurus Season begins on the 19th. Sun, Mercury, and Venus will provide you guidance in matters of love as well as the financial. You might have support from others now or will feel compelled to dive into the treat yourself mentality that Venus will bring since it rules your sign as well. With the Full Moon in Scorpio adding to the themes of value and self-worth, you are going to feel empowered. The Pluto Retrograde on the 27th sets the tone for the changes that will need to be made for future success in work and home. Card of the month: Queen of Swords Reversed; watch your tongue.

Scorpio – You are going to work hard for what you want during this Aries Season and it will be successful especially with the New Moon in Aries on the 11th allowing you to show others who is in control and who is the boss. Your work ethic will shine as the planets in Aries form a sextile to Saturn and Jupiter during this season. Taurus Season will bring back some interesting dynamics into your relationships. You are going to evaluate what your partner has to offer beginning on the 19th when Sun and Mercury enter your house of partnerships. But thankfully, Venus is also there, adding comfort and joy to your life as well. You are able to effectively communicate while being diplomatic with friends and/or romantic partners. Single people might meet someone interesting now with striking Venusian qualities that are likely to keep you interested. A major transit will be the Full Moon in your sign on the 26th, a time where cycles are closing. You are going to learn a little more about yourself and your own capabilities. If you have felt down with all these stressful Saturn and Uranus energies, you are going to reclaim some of the control again. Pluto in Capricorn will start its retrograde motion on the 27th. Expect some changes in the way you express yourself during this transit. Card of the month: Seven of Wands Reversed; be wary of others.

Sagittarius – Fire is in the air this month which is a great change from all the Air energy that has accompanied us for the first part of the year. Mercury in Aries on the 3rd is going to make you more charming. The bold energy of Aries intensifies as the planets begin to build into a stellium in your house of romance and pleasure. On the 11th, the stellium is complete with the New Moon that will allow you to meet new people and you will experience a bit of nostalgia. You might reminisce on past relationships, as you think back to the Mars in Aries transit that happened last year. It also does not help that Mars in Gemini is bringing some transformations to the way you view relationships. After the passion and emotion of this New Moon’s energy, you are going to get more driven and focused once Venus enters Taurus on the 14th. You are ready to make your mark, and no one is going to stop you. Once Taurus season officially enters on the 19th, those plans you made earlier in the year will begin to take flight. As Mars changes signs on the 23rd, you are going to deal with a new emotional intensity you probably did not want to handle now. These transits will only help to make you stronger in the long run, so go with the flow and practice patience. More transformative energy with the Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th and Pluto Retrograde on the 27th. This will be your period of reflection and understanding as you prepare for Gemini Season next month. Card of the month: Two of Wands: Be fearless with your choices.

Capricorn – Get ready to feel fired up during the month of April as your focus shifts from the career field to the home. This is your month to make changes that make you feel more comfortable and to bring a nice peaceful energy to your home. Connecting with family will be huge this month as things begin to get more exciting when Mercury is in the sign of Aries on the 3rd, allowing you to reconnect with traditions and the past. With Venus and the Sun already in the same sign, things will amplify with the New Moon on the 11th, bringing you to focus on changes for the future as well as the successes that have allowed you to triumph for so long. Venus will be in the sign of Taurus beginning on the 14th, so if your romantic life felt a little boring, now is the time to meet new people and begin to feel desirable as this planet makes a trine to your sign. Sun and Mercury enter the sign of Taurus on the 19th, adding more flare and creative energy into your life. Your focus will gradually move from work to romance once Mars enters Cancer on the 23rd. Get ready to attract more emotional people that will provide some interesting perspectives to you. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th has you feeling more sociable, so this is a good time to reconnect with friends or just trim your social circles a bit. The month closes with Pluto, the lone planet in your sign will begin its retrograde motion on the 27th. More transformations ahead. Card of the month: Ace of Pentacles: Financial success awaits.

Aquarius – A big year for you and this month is going to bring lighthearted energy. With the Aries stellium forming, the way you communicate will be audacious and filled with courage. For the creatives, this energy will be inspirational and allow you to be more driven. You are going to have a wonderful time connecting with friends and family. Venus in Taurus on the 14th is going to be a favorable transit especially in the home front. This could be bringing more of a need to make aesthetic changes as you want to bring your ideas to life and renovation might make you feel emotionally satisfied. On the 19th, the Sun and Mercury will also join Venus. This Taurus season will be jam packed and a little stressful since the Venusian planets will be facing off with Saturn, but you can handle it. With Jupiter still in your sign you will be able to overcome and handle any obstacles that are in your way. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th will make an opposition to Uranus. If you are feeling an itch to make changes, think things carefully. This is a transit that asks you to go with the flow and continue working towards what you want in the future. The month ends with a Pluto Retrograde on the 27th. While this can feel intense, it will not compare to what you faced last year with the Capricorn Stellium. You now have guidance and personal experience to handle it. Your power will be known after it. Card of the month: Ten of Cups is a reminder to seek your happily ever after.

Pisces – You are going to do a lot and reevaluate yourself during this Aries Season. Mercury in Aries on the 3rd brings you a sign regarding the way you manage finances. Do the research, be patient and try not to overspend with Venus and the Sun currently in the same sign. The New Moon in Aries on the 11th is going to get down to the gritty parts and will have you doing some more inner work. You are going to think about relationships as well with Venus adding bits of nostalgia. On the 14th, Venus will be in Taurus and the themes will move to connecting and socializing. You will reunite with people or just meet new folks during this Taurus Season which officially begins on the 19th. Mars will be moving in the sign of Cancer on the 23rd which can bring excitement, romance, and drama. Try not to be too dramatic during this transit as Mars tends to make us all a little more passionate. In Cancer it is likely to make us all emotional. The Full Moon in Scorpio is a breath of fresh air for you, and it will happen on the 26th. A Cycle will close, and you are going to feel a weight begin to lift off your shoulders. The opposition this Moon has to Uranus might bring some highs and lows, but you are going to feel enlightened after it. The Pluto Retrograde on the 27th adds a little flare to your relationships yet again. People from the past might return or you might see big changes in your social groups. Card of the month: Strength; you are courageous and powerful.

#Astrology #Horoscopes #Aries #Taurus #Gemini #Cancer #Leo #Virgo #Libra #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #Aquarius #Pisces

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rivalsforlife · 3 years

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AA7 Speculation Post: One Year Later

here we go again.

A year and a day ago, I made a speculation post about if/when we’d ever be seeing AA7. Obviously, my claim that AA7 would be announced in September 2020 did not turn out to be true, but later that year we did get a leaked calendar containing information on the new ports for Chronicles, and also plans for a new aa7, which I summarized in this post.

Now that we have Chronicles we can verify that the leaks contained legitimate information (as if a statement from Capcom saying they were hacked wasn’t legitimate enough). So that leaves us with one key question: is AA7 still happening? If so, when can we expect it? As well, what other information from the leaked calendar can we consider, especially with early sales data on Chronicles? In addition, what are the implications of this new survey on Chronicles from Capcom?

All of that will be discussed under the cut so that this doesn’t take up too much space.

Revisiting The Calendar

Once again, here is a rough translation of the calendar that was present in the leaks:

As a note, in this post, I’ll be referring to our new games as “Chronicles” to prevent this from being blocked by people avoiding spoilers.

So: this original calendar, generated before the pandemic, had Chronicles releasing in Q1 of FY2021 - and it’s also important to note that in Japan, each fiscal year starts in April 1st, so FY2021 is actually April-June 2021. This shows that Chronicles was pushed back about a quarter from their expected release date. However, Chronicles was a port of already existing games, therefore somewhat less work was needed on them - upscaling models and textures, adding in some new features like autoplay and story mode, and of course, the English translation and voicework were needed, which is still a lot of course, but less compared to development on an entirely new game. In addition to that, the pandemic hit AA7 in its early development stage, assuming this schedule was still being followed by the time the pandemic hit. That could cause more delays than expected.

So the original plan was for AA7 to be released in Q3 of 2021, which corresponds to October-December, aligning with the 20th anniversary of the series in October. While it’s a desirable goal, it’s quite likely the pandemic pushed it back at least a quarter, if not more, if not cancelled it entirely. ... haha.

We’ll only know the fate of AA7 for certain when it’s announced. Which it is possible it may never be. However, I have two theories for, if AA7 is getting an announcement, when it will be:

1) Sometime during September 2021, either in the leadup to or during Tokyo Game Show this year. These are for the same reasons as I outlined in my initial speculation post. It’s a popular time for Ace Attorney game announcements, after all. TGS, according to what I can find, will be held online this year from September 30th to October 3rd. If Capcom announces AA7 earlier in September through Famitsu, like they did with AA6 for example, then we can expect to get some information during TGS...

2) Sometime during a 20th Anniversary Event, possibly in October 2021. I’m assuming AA is planning something for the 20th anniversary - Chronicles wasn’t really marketed as a 20th anniversary release, for instance. If they can’t release a new game for the 20th anniversary (which at this rate, seems unlikely, as we’re about two months out from that with no word about it) then an announcement would be just as good at generating hype for it.

Naturally, if we reach this time next year with absolutely no news on AA7, it’s probably safe to say it’s been cancelled or at least delayed so severely that anything we currently know about it isn’t worth much.

There’s one more point of interest on the calendar: reconsidering the porting of 456. I feel that this depends heavily on how well the Chronicles ports are doing; if it’s not financially viable to keep porting games, then why bother? So, let’s take a look at that.

The Success of Chronicles

As I write this, it’s about two and a half weeks since the release of Chronicles worldwide. So... how did the games do? It’s a bit hard to tell, especially as I am not a game marketer and don’t know the expectations for Chronicles. What is obvious is that, if Chronicles does much better than expected, porting 456 and possibly even the investigations games seems likely. (If Chronicles, indeed, does especially well in the West, than a porting of the investigations games and localization of investigations 2 after ten years could very well be possible.) If Chronicles does absolutely terribly, it damages the chances of porting, and possibly of continuing the series. If it does terribly especially in the West, where the games are essentially new, it could damage the chances of any new games being localized at all.

So, a lot is riding on this, and I don’t know enough to tell how well it did. Here’s what I have found, however:

Nintendo Enthusiast reports on Famitsu sales of Switch games, and overall thinks it’s not doing so great. Chronicles ranks third on the list of Switch sales in its first week, with 14,460 units sold, over 4000 less than NEO: The World Ends With You, which was released on July 27th. Keep in mind that Chronicles was released in Japan on July 29th, which is two days later, and that these are only Japanese sales (where they’ve had Chronicles for years on both mobile and 3DS) and only Switch sales, where NEO:TWEWY is currently only available on Switch and PS4 (Chronicles has the additional platform of Steam, where there could be many more sales). In the next week, Chronicles ranked 22 overall, with NEO:TWEWY at 23, though of course they’re still a little less than 4000 units behind NEO:TWEWY overall. Slightly closing the gap, I guess.

How about overseas data, then? ... It’s hard to tell. I can find this report from gamespot which discusses the top 20 games sold in the US in July, and Chronicles is not on the list, while NEO:TWEWY is at 16. However, they don’t give any number for the units sold, and it seems that they aren’t considering digital sales for a lot of them, so it’s hard to tell how much of a hit that is.

However, let’s go back to Japanese sales for a bit, and look at the 2019 Trilogy re-release for a comparison against Chronicles. Allegedly, combined Switch and PS4 sales in the first week of the trilogy’s release only amounted to about 8000 units, a little more than half that of Chronicles’ Switch sales. It’s also important to note that the 2019 trilogy ended up being the only ace attorney game to sell over a million copies. Ace Attorney is not a big series; I’m sure Capcom takes this into account when considering sales data, especially for ports. If Chronicles does end up doing better than the trilogy overall, it’s definitely looking good for ports and especially so for Chronicles.

However, there’s more to this than just sales data.

The Survey

Capcom now has a user survey for Chronicles, which you can answer even if you’re partway through the first game. I believe it’s only open until September 30 2021, so if you think you can finish the game before then, I’d recommend filling it out once you’re done so that you can give the best feedback.

It asks you a bunch of questions like what platform you bought it on, why you bought it, your expectations, and all sorts of detailed questions on the various mechanics, difficulty and enjoyment of the trials and investigations, satisfaction of visuals, plot, characters, music, and even free response sections for what you liked and disliked about the game. It’s a very detailed survey that’s pretty long but I think is worth filling out. At the end they ask you to fill out some demographic questions (such as age, gender (male, female, other), country, what kind of things you like to spend money on, and what kind of games you like, what platforms you have to play games on). But what’s possibly the most interesting question is this:

“If a new [Chronicles] game is released in the future, do you think you would buy it?”

This means that, depending on the answers to the survey, they could very well decide to work on a third game to Chronicles.

This has huge implications for the future of the series. I’ll probably make a separate post on plot-related stuff later, but for now... let’s talk about logistics.

In my initial AA7 speculation post I said I highly doubted that they would ever make another Chronicles game. I also said that they probably never would be localized, so, guess who’s a clown now.

Right now the AA series is in a bit of a dry period, with no new games having been released in the last four years. As well, with Yamazaki (the director of the investigations games and AA5/6) having left Capcom, the next director of the mainline games is completely unknown. As described in this video, the main reason Chronicles ever came about was because Capcom went ahead with mainline AA5 before Takumi could come back from the Layton crossover. Now, since 2017, we don’t really know what Takumi is working on. It’s possible he’s gone back to mainline to work on AA7 (though of course, there is absolutely no evidence suggesting that he has, so definitely don’t take that as any sort of confirmation).

However, if we do get a Chronicles 3, it’s quite likely Takumi would return to work on that, as he directed the previous two games. In addition, if Chronicles ends up being such a success to completely eclipse mainline (from what I’ve heard, though I have no serious proof, Resolve is considered as highly rated as T&T by many Japanese fans) then the series could permanently go down the road of writing more Chronicles games, leaving mainline stagnant (which, let’s be real, it’s already stagnating). The success of that is uncertain considering how neatly our current Chronicles duology wraps up, but... we’ll have to see how things unfold in the future.

For now, I highly recommend filling out the survey to give your input to the series’ future directions. Maybe mention that you want localized investigations 2 somewhere in the free response section because uhh I forgot to do it in mine. do that for me.

TL;DR

Main takeaways from this post are:

- I personally expect an AA7 announcement either during TGS or a 20th anniversary event

- If Chronicles does extremely well, then 456 ports are likely to happen, and I personally speculate investigations ports (along with localized investigations 2) will as well.

- Fill out this Chronicles survey before September 30th to give your input on the games and possibly the future direction of the series. I recommend completing the games before you do, but if you think you won’t before September 30th, you can fill it out at any time.

- We Very Well May Get Another Chronicles Game. Who saw that coming. Not me.

Thanks if you read through all of this, let’s hope September/October doesn’t leave me looking like a fool again.

#aa7 speculation #my posts #ace attorney

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spade-riddles · 3 years

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Submission: Kaylor timeline 2019-2020

This is a atempt of maping the happenings surrounding kaylor in the last 3 years. Please keep in mind that i might forget some things, mostly from 2019 since my memory is actually horrible. I’ll try to include the most important things mainly so let me know if i missed something big. Also, feel free to add some kaylor nods, easter eggs on the girls’ social media, general stuff and correct me i fim wrong on dates or places. Oh quick disclaimer: most of this is Taylor focused because the last time i went on karlies instagram to look for the nashville selfie i actually wanted to puke or bury my face into a hole for the rest of eternety (ok, both) after seeing the jerk photos so if you have any important stuff please add it. Thank u!!!

Lover Era

- ME! MV release on lesbian visibility day (april 26th)

- City of Lover (funny enough, karlie was there in march 😉)

- taylor’s pride post “lets show our pride...” (taylors ig june 1st)

- Promo for the MV with karlie’s hand on taylors ig 16 june post

- sc**ter *audible puke sound* buys taylors masters (june 30th)

- You Need To Calm Down MV (july 17th)

- Lover Title Track released 13 days after karlie’s bday (august 16th)

- Lover mv release which Taylor captioned on her ig post with YAIL lyrics.

- Lover Album Release (august 23rd)

- Miss Americana release (jan 31 2020) “gay pride... everything that makes me me” etc

- The Man MV release (feb 27th)

Here’s some posts with lover era easter eggs:

Link 1

Link 2

some inch resting posts:

eye theory ?!

gold rush 😉

paris captions:

Link 1

Link 2

(probably not that much of a proof much more of a koincidence since au revoir is a pretty common frase but whatever)

This masterpiece here during NYFW in 2019:

note: I think its pretty safe to assume that up until this point its obvious kaylor is still together. Theres exactly no reason why Taylor and Karlie would be referencing kaylor stuff and each other at this point if they weren’t together.

folklore & evermore Era (oh the start of a daydream and a nightmare)

- Not a lot going on at the moment post April 27, 2020

- Karlies very interesting posts:

Dancing in a Cardigan July 10th, 2020

Happy Place July 23rd, 2020

- Tamagochi June 25, 2020 and buns May 14, 2020

- folklore announcement (july 23rd)

Note: up until this point its also pretty much a concensus that they’re still together. Since Karlie hinted the folklore aesthetic and cardigan on her ig post, and Taylor changed the cardigan lyrics to “knew you’d come back to me” and wrote “the lakes” and obviously there is “peace”. From this point on, especially after the WB stuff and pregnancy rumors in September (?) things start to get kinda blurry and gaylors and kaylors start building different point of views. So heres what happens:

- Taylor releases the long pond sessions where she says that joe is WB. I feel like we kinda all believe he isn’t, the thing that gives it for me is mostly Taylor’s body language and the way she stutters when she says it. Also, its kinda weird that out of nowhere joe got this songwriting skills magically. Like, they’ve been “together” for four years and only now Taylor discoveres this man has better songwriting and composing skills than his actual job, idk sounds fishy to me but, you make the call.

- Pregnancy rumors starts flowing on both sides. Taylor quickly starts drinking a shit ton of wine to get her beloved swiffers to come to the realization that she is in fact not pregnant. Karlie’s rumors also starts flowing, and then the people! (?) article comes out confirming it and Karlie later posts a video on her instagram. Here’s where it gets messy. Ill try to explain shortly to you the narrative on the Kaylor side and why i don’t believe in the gaylor narrative. Obviously its your choice wheter you believe it or not.

- Kaylor: The baby is Taylor’s and Karlie’s (not gonna get into hows and stuff bc if it is actually real then it is invading their privacy too much, also speculating about this might trigger some people).

Things that back this theory up: obviously peace “give you a child”, karlie not tagging j*sh*a on her vids, that one 2,1/2 photo from the folklore photoshoot, buns and tamagochi, Taylor and Paul talking about parenthood in the Rolling Stone issue, and all the fertility imagery in evermore and folklore.

Karlie was in Cali in may until august, Taylor was also there. Jerk was on Ny or Miami cant exactly remeber. And it seems that this is what she wrote that one line “knew youd come back to me” in cardigan about. (IMO they [t and k] had some fight after the masters sale on the end of 2019 and took a break or something, so she would in fact come back to her, but just my opinion). So, karlie was there from may to august, karlie’s is on the end of her pregnancy, and if you do the math, she got pregnant sometime between june and july. Which makes it kinda impossible for the baby to be jerk’s (consequently ending the gaylor narrative) since he was in another place and karlie was on cali for like 4 months, if the baby was his, the baby would’ve been born already.

The gaylor narrative is mostly based on Taylor’s songs specially champagne problems, coney island, hoax, closure and exile.

Coney Island isn’t even necessarily a breakup song, it’s just simply a sad song, it is like death by a thousand cuts pt2, it gives the vibe that Taylor is sorry about a lot of things like not being able to thank Karlie “but when i walked up to the podium i think that i forgot to say your name”.

Like coney island, hoax is about the lows of their relationship but it’s clear in the song that taylor still loves karlie and would trade her for anything “don’t want no other shade of blue but you”

Closure and champagne: it just reminds me of Dianna for some reason i don’t even know how to explain it. Champagne Problems remind some of Dianna bc of i know places where she says “take my hand and don’t ever drop it”, to the gp that song is about harry(<3) and most songs that “are about him” are actually about Dianna. i do think it’s is kinda inspired by Karlie though.

Exile: honestly could be used to form a toe breakup narrative.

TBH we’ll probably never understand fully the story behind it. But Taylor also said that a lot of the albums are full of fantasy even thought they’re also inspired by real life situations.

Thank u for reading!! this is obviously my opinion on the matter and my take on the whole situation. feel free to believe whatever you want, and add stuff i forgot sending u lots of love <3

#thank you for putting together this timeline #submission

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scotianostra · 2 years

Photo

On 7th April 1718 Hugh Blair was born in Edinburgh.

Hugh Blair went to Edinburgh High School and Edinburgh University, graduating Master of Arts in 1739. He was licensed to preach in 1741, and soon after became tutor in the family of Simon, Master of Lovat.

I could bore you on how we was seen as a great churchman and all his sermons, and his University lectures for which he is quite famed in Scotland, he was also a founder of The Royal Society of Edinburgh and a leading light of the Scottish Enlightenment, rubbing shoulders with the likes of David Hume, Adam Smith, Adam Ferguson and Lord Kames but I see him as more of a real friend and patron of Robert Burns.

The Revd Hugh Blair was just short of 70 when he met Burns in Edinburgh but the gap in years seems to have meant little to the two, Robert Burns wrote to the then retired Professor of “Rhetoric and Belles Lettres“ at Edinburgh University, thanking him for “that kindness, that patronage, that friendship”

Burns also wrote of Blair

‘I never respect him with humble veneration; but when he kindly interests himself in my welfare, or, still more, when he descends from his pinnacle and meets me on equal ground, my heart overflows with what is called liking: when he neglects me for the mere carcase of greatness, or when his eye measures the difference of our points of elevation, I say to myself with scarcely an emotion, what do I care for him or his pomp either?… In my opinion Dr Blair is merely an astonishing proof of what industry and application can do. Natural parts like his are frequently to be met with; his vanity is proverbially known among his acquaintances; but he is justly at the head of what may be called fine writing… He has a heart, not of the finest water, but far from being an ordinary. In short, he is truly a worthy and most respectable character.’

In return Blair wrote thought of Burns as a great and noble poet who had 'the words of the stable and the politics of the smithy’. Burns also describes Blair as a fine writer and an excellent critic. And this was no empty compliment: Burns consulted Blair on what poems to include in his 1787 Edinburgh edition of Poems, Chiefly in the Scottish Dialect, and he adopted two of Blair’s recommendations.

The friendship is all the more remarkable given that the church at this time was very much of a Calvinist mind, many within the church must have looked at the unlikely duo with disdain. Blair must have been quite the poetic critic and fan, he also encouraged James Macpherson to proceed with the collection of his Ossianic Fragments, so had connections to two of Scotland’s most famous literary giants of the 18th century.

Hugh Blair died at home in Argyle Square, which was where Chambers Street is now, on 27th December 1800, he is buried in nearby Greyfriars Kirkyard

#Scotland #scottish #clergyman #tutor #author #history #the scottish enlightenment

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thejosh1980 · 2 years

Text

When the levee breaks…

Where do I start?

The last 6 weeks have been a whirlwind of trauma, tragedy, triumph and emotions.

I originally wanted to write about all the things in one go, but it’s too much for just one blog entry. So, I’ll just write… and see what comes out… this might be part one of a few parts…

First, let's go back to the beginning of this term, when going to class was tough. I really didn’t feel up to returning to study. I don’t really know why, maybe because of the long 2 month break over the Christmas holidays, which was mostly spent in isolation, but I just didn’t feel motivated. It took quite a bit of energy to push myself to turn up to class.

The teacher asked the class 2 questions at the beginning of that Tuesday: What do you want to focus on during this last term? What is your strategy to keep focused?

My response came to me surprisingly quickly. I was reminded of my first day of class in April 2021. I had not stepped inside a classroom for over 20 years, I had no idea what I was doing and what lay ahead. However, on that day I made a commitment to myself that I would do whatever it takes to finish this course.

I responded to the teacher’s question and announced to the whole class: I would focus on finishing the course, and to do that, I would take it one day at a time.

I’ve spent a lot of my life dreaming of the future or reliving the past. I was rarely in the moment. My calendar is full of a “to do list”, that never fails to grow bigger. It’s also full of special dates from the past that I often relive, often without a positive feeling. I kept experiencing anxiety on a regular basis, because I wasn’t mindful of the present. I wasn’t being grateful for what I have got or experienced, just disappointed about what I haven’t got or what I missed out on.

I didn’t stop to smell the roses.

That first day back to class this year, was a real turning point for me, I decided I was going to work on learning to live in the moment as best I could. I felt this was currently where my mental health and personal growth would most benefit, by taking things one day at a time.

I had turned up to class, and that was an achievement I needed to acknowledge to myself. That was the most important thing I could do that day and, if it was the only thing I did, then pat myself on the back, a job well done.

Turn up, be present and do the best I can.

From then on, I removed as many distractions as I could from my daily routine, there was less guitar playing, or gig finding or even socializing. I slowed right down. The main focus was that I turned up to class, even if I didn’t think I was in the right mindset to learn, just being there was a sign I was still heading towards my goal.

Slowly but surely my motivation came back, and on those days when I felt down, my class mates and teachers wouldn’t let me slack off, they’d remind me “one day at a time”. They were stubbornly supportive, but that’s what you get when you’re in a room full of counsellors.

So, there I was slowly getting my student mojo back… and then the levee broke…

So much can happen in just 24 hours…

On Sunday 27th February the rains got real heavy on saturated ground and didn’t let up. By Monday morning as the tide was at its highest, like many others in the area, we had water inside our house.

Looking back, the whole thing feels like a dream. A really, really, bad dream.

Mum and I didn’t sleep much on Sunday night and by 5am I was driving the car out of the garage to higher ground, scaring myself in the process. The water sure is deep in the dark! I decided not to risk it with our 2nd slightly higher car. I thought the water couldn’t get higher enough to get inside it, boy I was wrong.

We tried to get everything up high in the house, guitars on kitchen benches, boxes of books on tables, tax documents, visa applications and passports out of the bottom filing cabinet. Electrical items, lamps, fans and cables up on couches and shoes and clothes out of the bottom of cupboards.

While Mum and I were running around putting stuff up, we let Alex rest a little longer, she’d need her energy later anyhow. Eventually, Alex woke up to Mum and I trying to prepare for the water entering the house outside our bedroom window.

The key word here was “spider”, which I yelled as I realised a huge huntsman was just an inch away from my hand, he was getting away from the water perched on the wall. Alex and spiders of any size don’t mix, and she shot upright pretty darn quick.

I logged into class at 9am, showing my online class the water rising outside and really, in hindsight of that adrenaline rush, not realizing how much worse things were about to get and how this moment in time would change us forever.

At least I was marked “present” that day.

The water came through the marsh land a few hundred meters behind our house and rose over the neighbouring golf course. At the same time, it was news to me that the water could flow down our street out the front of the house like a river too. I opened the garage door, and it flowed fast and furious through and out the back, connecting the road river to the golf course lake.

As the water entered the house, it didn’t come through the low windows or under the doors first, it crept through in between the cement slab, bricks and timber frame in corners and other spots. To be honest, we didn’t do too bad with our preparations; we just didn’t do them at the right spots. The water has a mind of its own, there’s no stopping it no matter what you do.

As the water rose, we waded through the water and kept putting things higher, or finding things we’d forgotten about in low cupboards, either wet already, or found just in time to save ‘em.

As soon as the water entered the house, I called the SES asking for rescue. We knew we were not the lowest part of the road, and that walking out in either direction was a dangerous option without help. We weren’t sure if the power or phones would work for much longer either.

We “moved out” of the house to wait for rescue, into the “catio” or summer room. Basically, a room with fly screens for walls, usually used to enjoy the cool evenings without the mosquitos and bugs to disturb dinners, today it was our knee-deep flowing water rescue room.

Our belongings were up on the table, as were the 2 cats, in their respective carrier box/bag. Ruby was not impressed at being in her box, but Junior was comfortable in his bag. Both cats spent over 7 hours in their carriers, without a break, until we were safe on dry land.

I had all my electronics, laptop and iPad, ready for rescue, so that once we were safe, I could continue my studies!! It’s funny how the mind works in times of stress, class wasn’t going to happen for a while Josh!! Numpty!

Around mid-morning, Alex had mentioned to her colleagues online that she, sorry, wasn’t able to work, there was water in the house. Her boss quickly rallied her colleagues to head on over with kayaks to rescue us!

So now we had 2 rescue teams on their way, but when would they arrive?

We waited for what felt like hours, checking what we could inside the house, taking photos, checking the front street and just waiting and worrying. At one point I started to think we may not be rescued and would have to consider sleeping in the house somehow. The thought of sleeping on a wet mattress didn’t appeal to any of us.

We chatted to a few folks who kayaked or paddle down the street and stopped out front, there were even a few kids oblivious to the destruction in our homes along the street swimming and laughing as the “river” pushed them down the street.

There were logs, gas bottles, chairs and coke cans floating by in the brown water.

The SES arrived with a rubber ducky mid-afternoon and checked in on us. We were glad they got to us, and they were glad we were relatively safe. They had another family with children to check further down the road, we said that’s OK to go to them first, we just asked them to stop by on their way back to pick us up.

They also mentioned Alex’s colleagues were waiting for us at the end of the road. Apparently, they had their kayaks in the water at the end of the road ready to come to our rescue, when the rescue guys arrived. It was suggested that maybe it was safer for them to rescue us instead.

Eventually the SES, rescue squad and policeman returned with the other family to grab us. After a bit of back and forwards, Mum was going to go first and Alex and I later, we decided we’d walk with them as far as we could, and then between us and the other family use the boat in the deep sections. It was quite overwhelming, to be rescued from our house, a house that had been our safe space for the past 18 months or so, and that had protected Mum for over 10 years.

We were very thankful for the rescue guys coming to our aid. They’d been working since early morning and hadn’t had a break. They waded through the waters more than once, and I’m sure they were really feeling the pain and exhaustion.

I had my electronics and study notes on my back, I had BB Junior on my front in his cat backpack and I had my suitcase in the boat. Alex had her handbag with her laptop and the food bag, she left her clothes bag behind. Mum had Ruby in the carrier, a suitcase and her backpack. We walked slowly through the rain for over a kilometre to safety.

That kilometre involved parts of almost dry road, knee deep water, waist deep water and jumping in the boat at chest deep water, all of it against the “tide”. There were cars submerged, people out staking photos, some houses totally safe from the water, others deeper than ours. It was a real mixed bag.

When we finally got to the end of the road, we met Alex’s colleagues who drove us to our friend’s place, Sophie*, where we could figure out our next step.

The cats were soaking wet, but happy to be out and about in the late afternoon when we got to our respective temporary accommodation.

We had no idea how high the water would get that evening and could just hope our belongings were going to be safe. That evening the power cut out for 18 hours, and by the next evening all communications, phone and internet, would be out for at least 5 days.

We couldn’t even let our loved ones know we were OK.

During flood day, Mum, Alex and I worked together almost seamlessly, as a team, to get the house in the best possible order for when the water rose. We were running on adrenaline and survival. There was little time to be tired or unfocused, it was all action.

Little did we know, we had just been through a traumatic experience, something that changed us and will stay with us for the rest of our lives. The shock of it all still surrounds us 6 weeks on.

Our security blanket, our house, our plans, our routine, our safety was shattered. We are a family that was displaced by the flood. We are one group of many who experienced tragedy during those days, and for many days and weeks to come.

For the next 3 weeks Alex, BB Junior and I would sleep in Sophie’s spare room, while Mum would sleep at my cousins and Ruby was at my other cousins.

Like many many others in the region, we are a displaced family due to the highest flood in living history. It was 1 day in our lives, but the knock-on effect will live with us forever.

Thanks for reading

Josh

*not her real name

#disaster #floods2022 #northernrivers #trauma #mental health

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jungle321jungle · 3 years

Text

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

The published letters that detail the romance that changed the kingdom.

~~~~

Aka Roman and Janus send each other letters

Taglist: @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar @why-do-you-care @hogwarts-my-love

Ao3 - Masterlist

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

September 18th

I received the gift you sent with your previous letter, and I wanted to ensure I thanked you for it- despite how bold it was. But I suppose that has always been something I liked about you- even if my heart very nearly stopped when Mother asked who the flowers and watch had come from. I was forced to give her the flowers (but I kept the watch for myself) after telling her it came from a businessman I work with (I am blessed that she didn’t ask which of them it was). Though I was disappointed to give up the flowers. I don’t even remember mentioning my favorite flowers and yet you knew anyways. Are you using your power for useless things again? I hope not, you have enough on your plate as it is without worrying about what I like and dislike. But if it truly crosses your mind do know that what I like are your letters and the rare moments we spend together.

But enough about that, more importantly I will be aiding my father this year so I too will get the pleasure of attending the New Year’s Ball. I hope when I arrive you can finally show me the spot you’ve described with the view of the whole city.

~~~~

September 23rd

I am glad my present to you was received well. As to your comment regarding whether or not I was using my power correctly, all I must say is that if it is my power I shall use it as I please. If that happens to be to determine your favorite flowers so be it, my servants are paid accordingly. Also, once I get more power laws change and I get you- so I truly see no downside.

I cannot wait until you get here, I will show you all my favorite spots here to view the scenery and my favorite places in town to shop and eat. We’ll need to think of an excuse for why we spend so much time together though, but we have the time to work out a story.

Speaking of, with this letter I am sending you a book. It’s one I just found by chance and I fell in love with instantly, I’m sure you’ll do the same. Be sure to send me your thoughts when you finish.

~~~~

October 17th

You are utterly horrific. Sending me a book that plays with my emotions like that. I wouldn’t have gotten so invested if I just knew she was going to die like that! Not even from her disease but from an assassin that’s horrible. Just horrible.

I stayed up to finish the last few chapters and now it’s late and I’m crying, but I don’t want the maids to hear. You’re horrible. And to prove it I’m sending you a book.

~~~~

November 2nd

I truly am dastardly aren't I? I laughed a lot at your letter, it was the exact response I was expecting. You never disappoint dearest. As for the book you sent me I unfortunately am yet to open it. I wasn’t planning on sending this letter until completing it, but things have gone bleak in terms of negotiations. I’ve been spending all my time locked in my office taking over my father’s daily work in addition to my own while he tries to calm things with the other delegations. At present I should actually be overlooking some documents, but I feel if I do I will truly lose my mind.

I miss you.

I know that if you were just here sitting beside me I would instantly feel energized.

At least the ball is next month.

~~~~

November 4th

I doubt you have even received my last letter as I write this, but I must tell you to withhold sending other letters. I’m not entirely sure why, but Father is suspicious of something and is having mail checked.

I’ll send word when the coast is clear.

~~~~

December 22nd

My father has found whatever it is he is looking for, so we should be fine now. But that did take longer than I thought. So much has happened in the last few weeks.

Mother’s sudden illness, and sister’s broken engagement, not to mention that the countries on either side of us have declared war and both are begging for us to pick a side. It’s beyond tiring. Father still insists upon holding the ball though, so I’ll see you then. I wonder if this letter will even reach you before you depart for the capital.

I hope I’ll have the time to show you around as I promised.

~~~~

December 27th

I was about to respond to your first letter when the second arrived. You must’ve sent one of your fastest messengers. As for your third and most recent letter I received it just before climbing in the carriage. We are staying in the Barony tonight, which is where I write this letter from. But I will wait to have it sent to you until I reach the capital.

I too hope we can meet up during the festivities, at least for a minute and even better if that minute was spent alone so we can speak freely. But please, remember that you mustn't push yourself too hard.

~~~~

December 31st

There is a small balcony west of the ballroom and past the room where the ladies rest. It’s secluded. We can use our usual signal, I’ll meet you there.

~~~~

January 1st

I cannot describe how amazing it was to simply hug you again. And as I said before it was wonderful to see how your dancing had improved. I’m sorry that our time together was so short, I will send you word as soon as I know when I can slip out of the palace. Maybe, two nights from now I can try? That’s when the commoners set up an array of stalls with games and prizes. Would you like to go?

~~~~

January 2nd

Of course I want to go! We will go and I will beat you at every game! But I don't have any clothes that would help me blend in. Also, how do you intend to disguise yourself?

~~~~

January 3rd

With this letter are clothes for you to wear tonight. I’ll meet you outside the gates by the large willow about an hour after dinner. And as to your question, I will be wearing a blonde wig.

~~~~

January 4th

You cheated. That’s the only way you could have won so many games. I don't care that you said you didn’t, you most certainly did.

~~~~

January 5th

You are free to believe what you like.

For the closing ball tomorrow we can meet at the same spot as the first night. And I have a surprise for you.

~~~~

January 6th

I swear I didn’t know.

I am so sorry. I didn’t know, I saw you crying and run off and I’m sorry that I couldn’t run after you. I’m sorry. Can I come by so we can talk?

~~~~

January 8th

You’re leaving tomorrow right? Please respond so I can see you before you do.

~~~~

January 9th

I understand you’re mad at me, and I won’t even ask you not to be. But I will ask that you at least try understand the position I am in.

And I hope you travel safely home.

~~~~

January 16th

Did you really not know?

~~~~

January 19th

I didn’t. My father sprung it on me, the same way he did to every party guest. He didn’t even tell me which nation he was leading towards in terms of support, much less this.

~~~~

January 22nd

Will you marry her?

~~~~

January 25th

I don’t want her. I want and I love you.

~~~~

January 28th

That’s not what I asked. I asked if you will follow through with the engagement.

~~~~

January 31st

I don’t have a choice. I thought I could spend more time living as the Crown Prince before I could reject the role and leave the crown to my brother. I thought I could do that if my parents ever brought up marriage- but this is more than a marriage. It’s war.

If I don’t marry the Delphine our trade routes are shut off- and since we already cut ties with the empire by my father announcing the engagement. If I reject this for you, I put the whole kingdom at risk. I… I don’t know if I can do that.

~~~~

February 4th

Surely there’s another way! Why can’t she just marry your brother?

~~~~

February 10th

Do you truly think I haven’t looked for one? My hands are tied. The only possible thing I could do to even have you near me is to bring you here as an advisor or the like when the time comes. I can find a way if it’s that.

~~~~

February 14th

No. I will not stand to the side just watch as you dance and hold hands with her for the public’s morale. I would rather die than that.

~~~~

February 19th

Please don’t be so dramatic. I am trying all I can think of in between my hectic schedule. But if you truly don’t like my efforts tell me, do you have any brilliant ideas?

~~~~

February 25th

Don’t mock me, Your Highness. You’re not the one who has had his heart stepped on repeatedly. You’ve been making me promises for years- am I not allowed to be upset when I find out that they’re hollow?

~~~~

March 2nd

You’re unbelievable. Feel free to sulk all you wish, meanwhile I need to continue my regular duties, prepare a wedding, and prepare for war.

~~~~

March 5th

War? I thought our kingdom was just to supply aid.

~~~~

March 8th

I’m getting married to the daughter of a nation who declared war upon the empire. Of course war will come to our borders as well.

~~~~

March 23rd

Father got the invitation to the wedding this morning. I wanted to tear it to shreds. Have you truly thought of nothing yet? Something other than me working for you?

~~~~

March 29th

I’m sorry to say I haven’t. In the months since the ball and start of the war I haven’t gotten anywhere with my Father- and Mother’s decline isn’t helping.

~~~~

April 1st

What? I had heard she was getting better?

~~~~

April 6th

That’s just the rumor I spread to redirect attention. She’s getting worse if anything.

~~~~

April 10th

I am so sorry.

~~~~

August 12th

It’s been a long time since my last letter, I’m not sure how many months. I guess I should follow custom and congratulate you on the wedding even if I am late. You at least looked very nice on your wedding day. You’ve truly perfected that fake smile.

I’m sorry for how I acted when I heard about your engagement. I know you didn’t want this either. And I know it’s late for this, but I’ll come work for you if that’s what it takes. The more I try to pretend that I don’t love you- the harder it gets- and the more it hurts.

~~~~

August 17th

Lord Roman Regis,

Please do not waste my time and deny that you are the author of the letter I just read. I intend to keep this letter brief. I do not wish to know what kind of relationship you have with my husband, but I must request that it ceases. My husband serves as a figure to both nations, and he cannot have anyone dragging him down. Especially not someone of a lower stature.

If you contact him again, there will be consequences.

Crown Princess Delphine Ekans

~~~~

August 22nd

Crown Princess,

Your Highness I apologize for any misunderstandings I may have caused, but please speak to Janus. I’m sure he will explain everything.

Lord Roman Regis

~~~~

August 26th

Lord Roman Regis,

To think a measly count’s son can not only tell me what to do, but he can be bold enough to refer to my husband without a title. I already asked you not to drag my husband down, and by doing so you have disregarded my warning.

Do remember that you have brought this upon yourself Lord Roman.

Crown Princess Delphine Ekans

~~~~

September 5th,

Ro,

You know all those times I told you to just get out there and just love the prince if you actually love him? Well this is not what I meant. I mean like you should speed up that “perfect” plan you two always talked about, not that you should wait so long that he got married. And definitely not so long that his wife outed your “despicable crush on the married crown prince”- however I can say that the papers are currently god tier with gossip. I have been asked for interviews like four times and I love it. Oh and have some faith in me, I didn’t talk to them- for long.

Anyway, lover boy should be able to help you out of this, right?

The better you,

Remus

~~~~

September 10th,

Remus,

Sometimes I hate you, and then when I remember we shared a womb I hate you even more. But even so, I thank you for being the one “calm” person about this. Mother and Father (mainly Mother) have been up in arms about how big of a disgrace I am, and just about every noble in the kingdom is in agreement. It doesn't matter that just about every unmarried woman pines after the Crown Prince even after he got married, because when a man does it- because that Witch known as the Crown Princess publishes my letter- I’m somehow a deviant.

I haven’t left the manor since word got out. And I am just flooded with letters from friends and other nobles, but truthfully I am too scared to read them. Maybe I’ll have a trusted maid read them and pick out the kind ones, but I am not sure.

I have no clue what is going on with Janus at the moment. I am yet to receive anything from him- most likely due to the Crown Princess’ interference. I wish I could know what was happening behind the palace doors... I truly do.

This is why I just wanted to run off to somewhere else, but Janus was confident he could change the laws for us and then we could go live quietly somewhere... I wish things were that simple.

I rather not discuss this anymore truthfully. I'd like to have a normal conversation again. So tell me, do you have any stories to tell of your travels? Reading them would prove far more interesting than anything here.

The best twin,

Roman

~~~~

September 18th,

Remus,

Given I am yet to receive a response from you, so I assume you are on the move once more, but I thought I should send you an update letter before you hear the filtered version from word of mouth.

I am currently being escorted to the palace. I know some will think I am to get some sort of punishment, but Janus sent one of the guards with a verbal message that he is handling this in his own way. I have no choice but to place my trust in him. Mother was still worried about it, Father interestingly seemed to be rooting for me but we didn’t get to talk more about it. But I know I will see Janus soon and that thought comforts me. Even though I know his wife will be close behind.

I’ll keep you updated on what transpires. But I still expect traveling stories. Like honestly, what was the point of you joining the navy if I don't get to read any seafaring adventures? You aren’t fighting in the war so surely there must be pirates or something? Or some stories about sirens and other such creatures? I want to read them all.

And in return you can have me as your wonderful twin.

The twin that matters,

Roman

~~~~

September 21st

Roman,

It almost seems strange to be able to address you by your name in a letter, but I like it all the same. I am very sorry for my silence and for Delphine’s actions. The former was a result of a few things: the first being my traveling to the battle front. I'm sorry I did not tell you prior to leaving, I did not want you to worry, but... I spent some time in battle. I was on my way back when your letter reached the palace and Delphine had taken it before I knew it even existed. Then upon my return I was busy dealing with Mother’s health and my war reports- I had intended to write other excuses here but truthfully I was scared of your reaction. I was scared that you would have just given up on me- on us. I had written and thrown away over 20 letters that I started without finishing before Delphine handed me a paper with a letter I had never seen published on the front page.

We had a long argument, about her not having the right to do such a thing to a “friend” of mine. It took a lot of time to cool things down and convince everyone to allow you to come here. Your father had sent me a letter saying he was worried for your safety, and that was enough to pull them to my side to bring you out of harm's way.

I am sorry I cannot currently go to see you, right now everyone believes I am just trying to clean up a mess that my wife blew way out of proportion and going to you would only start rumors. The knight who will deliver this letter- Virgil- can be trusted. He may huff and roll his eyes, but he does not pry and will not look at the contents of the letters. As he put it, he will only do the bare minimum of his job, and being curious and nosy takes too much energy. So you can send your letters through him. I swear I will figure something out.

In the meantime I hope your quarters are comfortable, let me know if they are not.

Yours,

Janus

~~~~

September 22nd,

Janus,

You are an absolute idiot. You went to war, without telling me? What if something had happened to you? Are you crazy? No of course you are. You’re absolutely insane- and I am so so glad that you are alright.

It has been strange being here in the palace, I don't often leave my room due to the looks servants give as I pass by, but my room is comfortable and Virgil makes good conversation. He certainly doesn’t have the demeanor of most knights which is enjoyable. Reminds me a bit of my twin in a way- but I think both would disagree.

Regardless, I have a request for you even though I know you will disagree. I wish to speak with the Crown Princess. I do not know how much you have told her, so I can keep things sounding one sided if you wish- but I want to speak to her. If you don't give an answer I like, I will simply write to her myself.

Roman

~~~~

September 22nd

Roman,

And you call me crazy. Why would you want to meet with the woman who ruined your life? You wrote in the same letter that even servants are scorning you- I will have Virgil report to me who they are so they can be fired immediately- and yet you wish to speak with her? I will not allow it.

Janus

~~~~

September 24th

Janus,

As you read this the Crown Princess should be receiving her letter as well. I kept it simple, just asking for tea with the promise of an apology. But before I schedule a time to meet with her, I want to know... do you like your wife?

Roman

~~~~

September 25th

Roman,

Delphine showed me the letter and she gave some unkind phrases to go with. I told her not to accept your invitation- but I think she wants to even more now. As to your question, I don’t know what I think of her. I hate what she has done to you, but I do not hate her (entirely) as a person. I admire the fact that she will go to great lengths to help her people, but I certainly do not like her. Or perhaps it’s better to say that I like her in the way one likes a business partner? Appreciating when they get the job done well, and hating when they don't. I am not sure if that answers your question, but I do not know how else to better phrase my thoughts.

Janus

~~~~

September 27th

Janus,

I met the Second Prince yesterday. He came to my room and chided me for not getting enough sunlight and fresh air, before he ordered me to accompany him to the gardens. He seems far too kind to be of royal blood. Oh, while he denies it I definitely say Virgil stealing glances at the Prince. It was quite adorable actually.

I am laughing to myself as I write this and he looks on, it is most amusing. Do tell you brother to visit again.

Roman

~~~~

September 28th

Roman,

Patton is definitely too pure for this palace, if he wasn’t the spitting image of father I would think he was illegitimate. As for him and Virgil... I rather not speculate, no one and I mean no one is good enough for Patton.

In more important news I will be accompanying Delphine to your tea tomorrow. At least for the beginning of it. Seeing you two together with my own eyes is the only way I can be sure someone won't attack the other.

I’ll see you then love.

Janus

~~~~

September 29th

Janus,

Since I am sure you are worried about what I and Crown Princess Delphine spoke of in your absence here is a few notes about what we discussed:

The fact that I have loved you since our academy days

That my feelings won't change no matter what she does

That I don't want anything negative to befall either country

She did not once ask about your thoughts or feelings, they seemed relevant to her

She doesn’t want me near you. She says it will ruin the reputation she is building

I do not know what this means for us, but at the very least I think I understand what you meant about having a business partner relationship.

Roman

~~~~

October 2nd

Roman,

Good to know your talk with her was for mostly nothing. She has more recently gone to my father about some scheme to boost morale and he seems to be on board. So she’s at least distracted for the time being.

In surprising news Mother wishes to meet you. She’s probably the one person who knows everything simply because she sees through every lie I tell. But thankfully she never questions me on the truth. You’ll receive an official invite from her soon.

Janus

~~~~

October 4th

Janus,

Your mother is one of the kindest people on the planet. She kept fretting over if I was okay, and meanwhile she is the one bedridden. And you were certainly right about her knowing the whole story, because it is clear she is rooting for us! She told me she just wants you to be happy, and marrying for love is something she wished you could do. She did also say she wanted to give the Crown Princess a “stern talking to”, and I think that would be hilarious to watch.

Roman

~~~~

October 14th 4th

Logan,

This year has been an absolute shitshow. Have you even heard what’ss going on? Because I haven’t heard a word fom you. But I suppose what else should I expect from the disaprearing count? I just want to marry for love and be done with the fucking war? Is that so bap? Delphine is making this hard, but I know she just wants things to be not war… it’s all so annoying. What should I do lo?

Your only friend,

Jans

~~~~

October 5th

Mother and Father,

I want you to know that despite all that has occurred I am well. I have gotten a chance to speak to the Crown Prince and Princess, and the Queen. Currently the Crown Prince intends to release rumors regarding the Duke’s family (which may or may not involve treason so please pull any assets out quickly) to stop the month long gossip about me. Once that happens, I am not sure if I will be staying here or returning home but I will let you know once I figure it out. Living in the palace certainly isn’t bad after all. The food is to die for. I may try to lengthen my stay just because of it. So don’t worry about me, worry about Remus who just sent me a letter detailing too many things about pirates that would make you cry in shame.

The lesser of two evils,

Roman

~~~~

October 8th

Crown Prince Janus Ekans,

I was quite surprised to get your letter and even more surprised by it’s contents. I have told you multiple times it is not becoming of a prince to send letters written in a drunken stupor.

Yes, I am well aware of the gossip in the capital that you have involved yourself in. But I saw no need to send you a letter of my own thoughts when I am not involved in your marital issues. If you were simply writing to me to rant and rave, then your letter was received. And I would like to say that I do have other friends.

Regardless, please expedite the report enclosed, it is part of our winter preparations.

Count Logan Ackroyd

~~~~

October 9th

Janus,

I went into town with Prince Patton (who gave me permission to call me by his name) and Virgil today. We went in disguise of course, but we got to go to a great many shops and try some good food. I bought you a present while we were out, but with the current circumstances I don’t believe I should send it with this letter. If you ever find the time to drop by my room please come and get it.

As we went about I couldn’t shake two thoughts from my mind, the first being that fall looks so different here in the capital, and the second was that it’s been nearly a year since we promised to do such things together. I still await the day where you show me your favorite spots.

I hope those times come soon.

Roman

~~~~

October 10th

Roman,

I too hope for the same, and I would love to see what it is you got me, but we have an obstacle at present. A few actually. While the war is finally moving in our favor, I fear that the Duke’s situation is less clear than I thought. In addition to that, Father wants you sent home to the county sooner than later. And if that’s not enough, Delphine wishes to speak with you before you leave- I will do my best to convince her otherwise. I’m not sure when they want your departure to be, I’m currently negotiating and thankfully Patton is on my side.

Janus

~~~~

October 11th

Ro,

So in my quest to find exciting stories for you I may or may have not taken a cutlass to the leg. It nearly got cut clean off! Or well that’s the story I’ll tell at least. Anyway, I’m gonna be home for a while so you should come visit your dearest twin. And as for get well presents there’s nothing better than basically all the sweets in the capital so I’ll take those please and thank you. Oh and buy me some of those racy novels you pretend you don’t read. Mother saw the word “tentacle” then burned mine.

Your horribly wounded and now sickly and pathetic twin,

Remus

~~~~

October 12th

Janus,

I heard from Prince Patton that there will be a party next week. He was asking me if I plan to go with him, and truthfully I’d like to, but I also don't want to undo anything either. What do you think?

Roman

~~~~

October 13th

Roman,

I’m afraid that your attendance will not be a good idea. But, I’ve heard sickness is floating around the palace. It would be truly tragic if I can’t attend. The greatest of tragedies.

Janus

~~~~

October 15th

Dearest Husband,

At least for the sake of appearances, can you pretend like you’re not missing your lover when we’re in public? It’s very nearly sickening.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

October 15th

Delphine,

I don’t believe I ever said he was my lover. Also if you want a conversation just come here. Thomas is a knight not a messenger.

Janus

~~~~

October 15th

Dearest Husband,

Sir Thomas shall be what I ask him to be. But on topic, if Lord Regis is not your lover then Queen Mother is in perfect health. If you’re going to ignore my and your kingdom’s wishes then at the very least be subtle. Please and thank you.

Oh and I will not be joining you for dinner, your sister asked me to dine with her.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

October 17th

Janus,

I’m afraid the party must wait (and for shame my meeting with the Crown Princess must wait as well). I have just received word that Remus was injured- not gravely though- so he is currently resting at home. I must return as soon as possible to rescue my parents from his madness. Well after I buy all the things the idiot requested.

Roman

~~~~

October 18th

Janus,

I love the jacket thank you so so so much. I’ll be sure to wear it the next time I see you, which will likely be the New Year’s Ball. I’ll write to you again as soon as I get home.

Roman

~~~~

October 21st

Janus,

I have just arrived and I already wish I had stayed in the palace. Mother is already talking about how lucky I am that despite the “scandal” she found a woman who would be willing to marry me. Maybe I’ll tell her to invite this poor girl over while Remus is here. Hopefully that scares her off.

Roman

~~~~

October 26th

Roman,

What do you think about eloping?

Janus

~~~~

November 1st

Janus,

You are aware of the fact that you’re married right? Also two men marrying isn't exactly legal. Also you know, the war?

Roman

~~~~

November 7th

Roman,

Trust me when I say the war will come to an end soon. And screw the laws and my wife. If I just kidnapped you, what would anyone really do?

Janus

~~~~

November 13th

Janus,

For starters I don’t think announcing kidnapping in a letter is the proper way to kidnap someone. Also I would like to point out that in the past years I always wanted to run away and you said no. Then a few months after I drop it you’re getting engaged.

Roman

~~~~

November 18th

Roman,

Virgil said the same thing. You two spent too much time together while you were here. And I’m a married man now. I’ve grown and I’ve changed. And running away sounds better and better.

Janus

~~~~

November 20th,

Logan,

If I said I wanted to elope with Roman to your domain what would you say?

Janus

~~~~

November 23rd

Janus,

You assigned him to be my guard of course we spent time together. Also I’ve been receiving letters from Prince Patton, he truly is a ray of sunshine. He told me that the Queen is doing better and I am elated to hear that. Please pass my well wishes to her.

Roman

~~~~

November 24th

Crown Prince Janus Ekans,

What would I say if you wanted to elope here? Well, I would remind you that you have responsibilities. While I do wish for your happiness do remember that the country lies on your shoulders as well. However if there was such a way that everything was sorted beforehand, then I would still say no.

Count Logan Ackroyd

~~~~

November 28th

Logan,

That’s unnecessarily rude. I will take your response as a positive one.

Janus

~~~~

December 4th

Dearest Husband,

I am apologizing in advance for what I must do. I did not anticipate such a situation, but the Duke has my hands tied. You know I will always do what I believe I must for the good of our nations, and to stop this war. I beg you to keep these thoughts in mind.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

December 4th

Lord Roman Regis,

I beg you to keep the crown standing tall despite everything. This is not your opportunity.

Delphine

~~~~

December 10th

Janus,

Is it true what everyone’s saying? That the Crown Princess is going to be charged for treason? Was that why she sent me a strange letter?

Roman

~~~~

December 15th

Roman,

She sent you one too? And yes I’m afraid it’s true… but I don’t think that’s how it started. I was aware of the fact she was working with the duke to supply troops using her knowledge of how both armies could work together, I truthfully think he took advantage of her. But her name is on some of the documents which can be read negatively.

I apologize in advance for my lack of responsiveness and attention to you. For now I need to convince Father not to execute Delphine and others in her position. This is all truly at the worst timing, we were in the midst of discussion to end this whole war.

At the very least I’ll see you come the New Years Ball.

Janus

~~~~

December 29th

Roman,

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long, love but I think I have things sorted. At the ball my Father intends to announce the annulment of my marriage- claiming that Delphine unfairly used me. That’s not true of course, but it’s the best way for us to keep her here as a “hostage” and to withdraw our support in this war and try to reclaim a more neutral stance. At least outwardly, things are always more complicated when you look closer.

But with the war coming to a true end, and the end of my marriage, perhaps it’s time I take ‘crown’ out of my title? Patton would certainly be a better face to be out there right now as we try to maintain the rockiest of peaces. And once he takes over maybe I’ll just have to vanish in plain sight. I know a certain count who would take us in without complaint.

We can speak on it more at the banquet, I’ll meet you in the same spot as last year. We can use the same signals.

Janus

~~~~

January 2nd

Janus,

I have spent the past day thinking over the words you told me. I'll admit when I received your most recent letter, I took your words to be akin to wishful thinking. But now after hearing all the plans you made for us, this sounds like something we can really do. My heart beats faster at the thought.

Running away with the Crown Prince, it sounds like a novel doesn’t it? If we were to leave, when would we go?

Roman

~~~~

January 3rd

Roman,

Ideally I’d like to leave as soon as the snow melts, but diplomacy is known to take it’s time.

Janus

~~~~

January 4th

Janus,

I’m ready when you are. Just give me some notice to pack up my things at home and to write a letter that will make my mother sob when she realizes that she can’t marry me off for a reverse dowry. Yes, I know such a thing doesn’t exist, but I’m not sure she does.

Also I spent today with Prince Patton and Virgil and my stance has not changed.

Roman

~~~~

Roman,

Do me a favor and keep your fucking mouth shut? I don’t need Prince Janus interrogating me anymore.

-V

~~~~

January 8th

Janus,

Virgil left a note on my bed last night saying in not so nice words that I ratted him out to you. I take it I was right! You need to speak with your brother then we can be official cupids.

Also I’m leaving today, so make sure your next letter goes to my home.

Roman

~~~~

January 13th

Roman,

I will do no such thing. No one on this planet is good enough for Patton.

Janus

~~~~

January 28th

Logan,

You have till March to prepare our rooms. No, I won’t be telling you my arrival date.

Janus

~~~~

January 30th

Janus,

I don’t know if I ever told you, but I’ve kept every single letter you’ve sent me. The good, the bad, and the pointless ones. I’ve kept them all in a box in my wardrobe and my maids know not to touch them. I think I’ll take the box with me when we run.

Roman

~~~~

February 2nd

Roman,

The Prince is being weirder than usual and is fretting over little stuff and he keeps mumbling your name. Do me a favor and take him off my hands fast.

Also he got very mad at me when he found out we exchanged letters. It’s not like we’ve been doing this since you left or anything. He’s so jealous it’s stupid. Sometimes I like to imagine what would have happened if you had been the one forced into a political marriage- and then I quickly stop because I realize he would order me to go arrest and or kill someone and I legally can’t say no.

Save me.

-Virgil

~~~~

February 3rd

Roman,

I have a box of your letters as well. Even ones you haven’t written but are about you- so even some of Delphine’s have been included. Our story is certainly different from that of other couples, and our letters reflect that. I’ll bring my letters as well, maybe we can organize them all into a large collection.

That was an incredibly sappy thought, and yet I wish to follow through with it all the same.

Janus

~~~~

February 7th

Roman,

I deeply apologize. I saw the play. I know we promised to watch it together, but Patton begged me to go with those eyes and that expression and I couldn’t say no. I will make it up to you. I’ll sit through an opera in the future maybe? I know you like operas even if I don’t.

In good news I plan to send a carriage for you, it should arrive on the fourth of the coming month. It will bring you here to the capital, we can see a horrid opera and then we can be on our way to our future. So you have a full month to pack.

Janus

~~~~

February 12th

Janus,

I can’t believe you watched it without me. It will take more than an opera to make up for this. You can start thinking now on how to make it up to me.

Roman

~~~~

February 19th

Janus,

As the days grow closer my excitement grows more and more. Even now I’m writing this to you rather than sleeping as it truly sinks in that we’re going to do this. I can’t wait.

Roman

~~~~

February 23rd

Roman,

My feelings are the same as yours. This morning I announced to my family my intentions. I didn’t tell them where we’ll be going of course, just that I will be relinquishing the position of Crown Prince and that I will be traveling. Father was enraged, sister was surprised, but Mother and Patton seemed to understand and once the three of us were alone they assured me that they are happy for me. I have a few more people (boring nobles) to tell, but now that they know there’s no going back. So you’re not allowed to have cold feet.

Janus

~~~~

February 27th

Janus,

Please if anyone was to have cold feet it was you. I’ve been willing to run away with you since the day I first laid eyes on the pretty thing you call a face.

Roman

~~~~

March 4

Janus,

The carriage should be here any minute, and I’m writing this letter that I intend to hand deliver to calm myself. My room is packed into bags, and I’ve already said most of my goodbyes. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’m sure time will fly when I’m with you. It always does.

Roman

~~~~

Jan,

Truthfully I wish you didn’t have to leave, but I understand it. So I wish you luck in chasing your love, while you’re gone I’ll make some changes around here so you can lead the life you want when you get back.

Be happy, and don’t forget to write.

Patt

~~~~

March 19th

Patton,

I have arrived safely, and both Logan and Roman are doing well. The former was griping about needing to share his estate with us, but all it took was me bringing up a few embarrassing childhood stories for him to loosen up. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but if you’re ever in the mood to frighten Father, tell him that we’ll need a royal wedding upon my return. I finally got to do the proper proposal I’ve had in my head since the New Year’s before last, and it was perfect.

I wish you luck in dealing with the state of affairs, if you need any help send me a letter discreetly and I can offer some aid.

Best wishes,

Janus

P.S. Fire Virgil if you feel like it. You can do better.

~~~~

A Forbidden Romance Years in the Making!

It’s been years since the ex Crown Princess and now hostage of the kingdom Delphine outed then Lord Roman Regis for loving a married man. Afterwards he was shunned by society and took shelter in the palace after his father begged for his shelter. Generously, the former Crown Prince agreed given he was tied to the scandal. But now we know that was never the whole story. Rather the two have been in a secret romance since their school days.

Now, as if his sudden disappearance was nothing, First Prince Janus Ekans has returned with his betrothed Lord Roman Regis, by his side. Previously talks of Crown Prince Patton signing the new law has been floating for a long while, but it seems the pen will finally be put to paper so a royal wedding may commence.

The couple will wed immediately following the signing of the new law legalizing gay marriage. And it will surely be a wedding to remember.

#jaz's oneshots #Janus Sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roceit #love letters #letters #a story in letters #princes

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thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness · 3 years

Text

Spice e-plus interview Die & Toshiya 27th April 2021

DIR EN GREY: What’s the current mood of a band that chose to move forward even in times of Corona? DIR EN GREY is releasing their 32nd single "Oboro" on April 28th. After a series of cancellations and postponements of their lives due to the Corona outbreak, the band continues to move forward with activities such as “Explosive screening ‘Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG”, an unattended live performance recorded at Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG, that is being screened at live houses all over the country. We asked Die (Gt) and Toshiya (Ba) remotely about the shocking music video, the new song "Oboro", and the current band mood.

Notes before reading: This is Die and Toshiya’s interview for the Japanese website Spice E-plus published on April 27th. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) --- Original interview: Here

Text by: Yohsuke Hayakawa ---This interview was done on the last day of the “Explosive screening ‘Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG” but, even though there is no audience in that live, the band could play together on a stage for the first time in a while.

Die: That’s right. There was no audience, however at the time of recording there were some moments in which it was difficult to play as there were no limits. The fact we were able to get together for the first time in a long time and play together as a band was simply touching/ emotional. However, it becomes difficult if you can’t see the audience. Last year we did an unattended live broadcast but that was the first time and as it was broadcasted in real time, I was nervous. In that sense, this time was a bit different from the previous live without audience we did. -How was the “Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG” for you, Toshiya? Toshiya: First of all, I think it was the best thing to be able to show movement as a band. Also, I’d say overwhelming? About being able to play together, I think the words I’d use would be “happy” and “fun”.

-Ah, it felt like returning to a place that it’s like the origin of the band. Toshiya: That’s right. When the five of us played together for the first time, it was interesting and fun, somehow, I think I was really nervous about it. It’s not something that paralyzes you, I think it was a natural feeling after all. In this special environment because of Corona, it was like the first time we played together, I thought again “after all, this is it”. -In terms of freshness, you also had the chance to play “Ochita koto no aru Sora” (digital single released in August 2020) live for the first time. Toshiya: Yes. After all, I could realize that as opposed to when you play it with headphones, the rhythm is adjusted in an atmosphere in which the air is moving around. Die: Actually, I felt it was a song that felt familiar and I was playing it while feeling that if we went on tour, I would be able to create more and more grooves.

“ We can’t play lives but as we are making songs for the album, we are moving forward. I’m hopeful because of that” (Die) -Along with the latest songs, there were some nostalgic songs that suit “Meguro Rock-May-Kan GIG”, especially “JEALOUS” was a surprise. Moreover, it was the original version, not the “reverse” one. Die: Hahaha. Well, we’ve played old songs on the "mode of ~" tours, so it’s a song we can still play. However, the tempo of the songs at that time was too different from what it is now (laughs). It’s simple, but it feels like I’m playing a song from another band. Toshiya: Regarding “JEALOUS”, we were planning to play it at the cancelled tour『TOUR20 Sogai』 - I didn’t expect to heart it at this timing. Hearing it after a long time…. the impression I got is that the sense of consistency has increased in “JEALOUS”. Die: Hehehe. Toshiya: I think that's right. As we didn’t listen to the click (of the metronome) in the old songs, if someone was going faster, everyone would go faster to keep up the rhythm, and if someone messed up, everyone would be drawn into that. In that sense, I had a lot of freedom but as recent songs (the rhythm) are matched by this clicking, in order to do that, I tried “JEALOUS” using a metronome this time. That’s why I think you got that impression that it “clicked”. Die: Well, I think we should had done it more freely. Not using a metronome click as we used to do, the tempo of the song is determined by the feeling of the venue. Certainly, at that time, everyone was doing it like that so I wish we could do it in that way this time too. Toshiya: Yes, that way is a possibility as well. If we have a chance, I think it would be good to do it in such a highly flexible situation. Well, from time to time there will be different rhythms within the band, if the members are simply playing at that moment and doing well, I think the audience will listen to it naturally and will go with it comfortably. -I see. So, it’s been said for a while you were in the process of making an album, has your mindset changed since when you were working in “Ochita koto no aru Sora", which was done in a relatively early stage of this Corona situation, until now? Die: For me personally, I don't think it has changed. From the beginning, my feelings are heading towards a new album. We are releasing a single this time, but we were working on arranging different songs in parallel, so the mood is basically the same. We haven't been able to play lives since last year due to the corona, but that doesn't mean we've changed the way we make it. Basically, it hasn’t changed our way of working remotely. “When I listened to the melody, I felt the hope that "I'm sure we can make something beyond our imagination next time." (Toshiya) -So, how about you, Toshiya? T: Personally, there have been quite a few changes during that time. The world situation has changed due to the Corona situation and I wondered if we could released the single we made and if the fans would listen to it. I want to play concerts but I can’t do it……how could say it?....this is my point of view but….it’s like I didn’t know what’s the purpose of the band, it’s a bit confusing for me. It's a big thing for me to think that way. Well, now I feel like I have no choice but to move forward. Until that seemed like that, I was thinking where I should rely on, I felt like, where should I set a goal? -Do you mean now after such a period? I wonder if there was a moment in which those feelings you had went up as the new songs for the album took shape. Toshiya: That's right. I haven't seen the goal yet, but I'm working on pre-production with the band right now. After that there will be a period in which the songs will be released. I was listening to the songs that the members brought there, and it was really interesting for me. -Oh, is it interesting? T: Yes. It's completely different from the songs I made myself, and when they pass through the filters of each members, they become versatile and I think that’s very interesting. I don't actually see the members face to face and interact with them but when I listened to the songs, I felt the hope that "Oh, I'm sure we can make something beyond our imagination next time". I think the other members might also hope for that, or renewed their feelings like about it like, "I have to do my best for DIR EN GREY". Die: Well, about that you mentioned, making songs for the album ... You can see hope as Toshiya said, we can’t play lives, but we're moving forward. I feel hope in that. -That you had to work on the album during this corona situation had a positive effect on your mind. Die: But after all, there is a continuous cycle for the band, touring and producing, and one of them is missing. I don't feel the that tension there. So, while thinking “There is nothing we can about it because we can’t play lives", we are making the next new album and continuing with the hope that later we will be able to tour again. -As a result of concentrating on production in such an environment, do you feel a good response in what you are creating now? T: Of course, there is a response, but I wonder if it’s really good to pack our current feelings together in it. I haven’t found a decisive factor yet. Several complications came out quite a bit but, maybe it’s the way it is now, and it and I guess it’s not over yet. Die: Rather than “in this kind of situation”, the hurdles are simply rising. Everyday, there are many....many....(laughs) -Hahaha. Was that so? Die: Yes. It’s always the same but, if you find a keyword or a hint to the next album, it will lead you to make several songs. Now I think it is still part of our work to find that. I can’t really say at this point what kind of specific feeling is but, if we find it, we can change the shift, or it will be easier to find the direction of the album. Right now, we are exploring this aspect and we haven’t come to any conclusion yet. There will be a moment it would be like “this is the atmosphere” and it will flow in that way, so I guess it will be easier to go that way. We have no option but explore it further. “It's been 24 years since the band was formed, and it’s like the challenges we are going through are also reflected in the MV, it’s not like we are going to sit back and rest on our laurels” (Die) -I think the song that gives you a glimpse of how the next album will be it’s the new single “Oboro”. At the time of this interview, just the 15- second MV teaser was released but….no, it already is having a strong impact! Toshiya: Hehehe Die: (Smiles) As for the MV, the concrete idea came out from Kyo, and from that idea everyone went to do it in that direction but, well, it’s like it can’t be done without us, right? It’s been 24 years since the formation, and it seems that the things we are challenging are also reflecting in things like that. It’s not like we are going to sit back and rest on our laurels. -Yes. I feel you are a band that doesn’t know the meaning of “withering” and in a good sense, doesn’t settle down. Die: That’s right. When I was shooting the MV, I talked a bit with Kyo, I was like “Isn’t this too edgy? It’s too much”. Probably, I think that a scene like this can be shown firmly even in a MV where only 5 people play, and I think it can be expressed in a simple form, but DIR EN GREY isn’t just there, after all, I thought we had to beat in/smash down more and more. So, the MV set this time reminded me of the atmosphere when we debuted, I was feeling like it was still aggressive and no good. -In an era when there is a call for compliance/ obedience, you must have an image of reliance. Die: Haha. But there is a part that it can’t be played (on TV etc…) (laughs). -It’s true (laughs). Toshiya: Well, so this is also part of DIR EN GREY. This talk we just had, I wonder if this scene with the five members playing is also part of what DIR EN GREY is. Personally speaking, I want to try to go to other places rather than this one at the next chance. I still don’t know what that would be, and when it comes to what we are actually going to do, I think everyone, including myself, will be concerned about it again. However, if some form remains, I would like to do something that it’s constantly evolving. -When it comes to the style of your MVs, you want to be a band that has no limits. Toshiya: That's right. For example, DIR EN GREY is gloomy, isn't it? DIR EN GREY is heavy, difficult, and intense, isn't it? Of course, I think it's an option that we can be caught like that (in a MV) but if we even want to surprise ourselves, after all I think I want us to keep working as hard as we can. I’m sure we jumped over those limits but maybe….just maybe….I think that’s the things the 5 members are looking for…. -In 24 years of activity as a band, if now it’s time to shake off everywhere, that’s your strength as a band. Toshiya: Yes, I think so. -So, "Oboro" is a ballad with a power and lyrics unique to DIR EN GREY, I felt the core was made in a way to make you listen to the song and the live performance of it in a fresh shape. It’s because each part is powerful, even though there are instruments in it that are not the usual ones in the band. As for the arrangements that the band did, was it simply a scraping work? Die: Now it’s simpler than it used to be, we’ve been focusing more on how to make the sound that’s in more powerful than actually just adding more. As I had that mental image,without overdubbing the guitar arrangement as much as possible, I went in the direction of reducing it. It might be a bad way to say this but, I approached the arrangements with the feeling that this is what I’m going to play live later, so it was like “don’t do anything crafty/pretentious”. -It seems that you are using a Fender Jazzmaster for recording, did you do that choice because of what you just said? Die: That's right. After all, for chord stroke parts, etc… I’m going to play with that guitar and that tone quality later. So, when I tried to use that kind of chord progression for the first time in a while, it was simple, but it felt like something fresh. It really resonated with me, and when I listened to it myself, I simply thought, "Oh, that's good" (laughs). -Hahaha. That’s good. Is that feeling of being a raw band an essential point for you? Die: Well, that's right. At the so-called chorus part, it wasn’t just about filling the backing with the low notes of the guitar. I also took on a new challenge to be able to see the scenery further. “I think there will surely be something that makes it fun for the band, fun to match our sounds again, there will be something that it’s going to feel interesting for sure.” (Toshiya) -I see. Also, the bass phrase is a basic one, but it’s done with an approach that makes each note stand out, including the tone quality/timbre. Toshiya: Regarding “Oboro”, I simply thought the dynamic image of it would be the most attractive thing, so I wanted to hear each and every sound without really doing anything extra. Up until now, there were too many things we wanted to do, and we wanted to include that and this as well, I had a sound barrier, but I couldn't hear what I wanted to hear. While narrowing down the main points and making it possible to listen to each part you want to hear firmly, still, each of the members started working on it with the idea that to be able to listen to each part of it would be the virtue of this composition. - As a result, the bass sounds with a thick sound image that has a strong presence. Toshiya: That's right. At the end, I think the part where you can hear the sound of the bass alone is quite distorted, but that is the tone through all the song, and the sound is quite distorted. However, when the sounds overlap, the low feeling is more noticeable than the distortion. Normally, if it is distorted, it tends to overlap when you join all the parts. However, as I said earlier, each member was thinking about how they wanted to hear their own sound, and even if it is distorted very much, the sound has a strong presence. I think I was able to reach such a result firmly. -While setting up the coordination/the harmony of the musical instruments, is your main idea oriented toward making a song “that makes people listen to it”? Toshiya: Yes, I have in mind that it’s going to become a song. After all, it’s because I’m thinking it will be a full song. However, I think at that point the band sound has become unbeatable. Die: First of all, the basics of a song (without the lyrics) start once the instrumental part is recorded. At that point, I still have no idea what kind of song we are getting into, so after the approach of how it’s going to be the singing part actually comes, the task is replacing some parts with a backing that makes the most of the lyrics. I’m always trying to figure out how to make the lyrics stand out. -I'm looking forward to hearing "Oboro" live, but recently you announced a live performance at the Tokyo Garden Theater ("Sogai") on May 6th. After cancelling the tour and Pia Arena MM performance scheduled last year, does this live performance with audience mean that, after all you have been through, you can see a way that the band can perform in this situation? (* It was announced that this "Sogai" live will be postponed due to the announcement of the state of emergency on April 23rd.) Toshiya: The members and the staff included talked about this a lot, but in the end, after a lot of discussions we came to the conclusion that it couldn’t be “as under these circumstances we can’t do it, we won’t do it’ but rather, the talk went into the direction of “If we don’t do it, we won’t accomplish anything”, of course, there is a national guideline for lives and we have to obey it. While thinking about that, as for DIR EN GREY, nothing will work unless we take action. If you don't take a step, nothing will happen. If you don't move now and say "Let's wait for the time to come", it’s more like, “when will that time come?”. - That's true. Toshiya: Then, instead of waiting for the time to come, we thought it would be better to make "now" the right time for us. - While there is a change in your previous mindset, you made the best choice you can make now. Toshiya: That’s right. Our mindset is simply different from those days. Die: As Toshiya said, if you don't experience a live performance during Corona, nothing will come out, and if you simply say, “we won't do a live concert during Corona," that's all. I think we should also have the experience of a live performance under the regulations. At the moment, we can’t ask everyone to come, but it's important for the future that we don't wait without moving at all, that we take a step forward and experience this kind of live. It’s a live that was decided with no idea of how it will turn out. -Is it necessary for yourselves to continue the band in the future? Is it also a trigger/spark for you? Toshiya: Yes. We felt that we couldn't get anything unless we acted on our own to get something. We had a discussion about what we could do while following the guidelines, and we thought that it was the live concert that would be the spark/trigger for us, so I would like to take on the challenge of the next live concert with that decision. As I mentioned at the beginning of this interview, I think there will surely be something that makes it fun for the band, fun to match our sounds again, there will be something that it’s going to feel interesting for sure. In addition, although there is a limit on the number of people who can attend the live, this time there will be audience there. It’s a commonplace but, I think we can get something like a synergistic effect by colliding with the people who is going to come. - It will finally be a live with audience in front of you. Die: That's right. However, the hurdles are still rising. You have to make a live concert following a guideline such as half of the capacity of the venue or not being able to shout/scream. I don't think it's good to say, "As the audience can’t shout/scream, we are not sure about doing it". Since we decided to do it, I think we have to do a DIR EN GREY live that has never been seen before. The future setlist and so, we have to change the method itself…. There is no point in doing it unless we get to convince all the fans who come to see us under these circumstances. “I’m glad I came”, “I’m glad I was able to see it”, things like that, I want to make a live that everyone can think of.

#dir en grey #die #toshiya #translation #toshiyatranslations #spice e-plus #oboro

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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Does Run ep 119 fall into the period of Jikook's romantic separation/distancing you talked about? By hairstyles I think this is the time you marked as being 'not a couple'? Did I get the timelines right? Please dont get mad, but they seemed especially cozy+close this ep, and not just skinship (I know this is a subjective judgement and dif points of view are allowed). Just curious if you still hold to your theory? We see only tiny snapshots of time. Do you ever retrospectively change your mind?

Me right now. lol

Running away before I give in to the temptation to rumble on for pages. Lol.

Ahhh shit! Too late. lol.

First of all, it's not so much that questions like these irk me...

It's just I've never had to worry about being 'right' or 'wrong' in forming an opinion about anything or on any topic in my life.

I think the night is more beautiful than the day. I think both Trump and Biden are trash- but better Biden than Trump. I think formal education is a damn waste of time and money. I think a lot of things. But I've never had to worry about that I could be right or wrong about them.

I never assume, when I read people's opinions too, that they are right or wrong. I either tend to agree with it or disagree with it or get informed by it if I had zero opinion prior. I find it bizarre when people want to be right and stuff- especially in a community that is nothing but a swirling vortex of thoughts and opinions. Lmho.

You either defend your stand and give evidence to support it but even then we are just all making assumptions.

Also questions like these tend to put me in a position where I feel like if I should respond then I am not only 'defending' my opinions but challenging other's opinions with my opinions and treating my opinions as if they were the facts. But they are not. It's just one opinion against another.

Know what I mean?

I used to be comfortable doing that because I thought it was all friendly debates and discourse until someone drew my attention to it and pointed out to me that when I do that I come across as 'all knowy,' 'presenting my opinions as facts' and 'challenging other's opinions with my opinion'- which y'all are well aware is the case that has launched a thousand hate comments, privacy invasion, doxing, lies and operation boycott Goldy on ship street.

I don't think it's worth it.

Then there is the substantive issue: how these questions are framed. How should I put this...

I never said anywhere that Jikook were broken up during the On era because they were not acting 'cozy'. Who's theory is that? Who said that? I've never peddled the 'Jikook is real because of skinship or their interactions' theory. If anything, I try to distinguish between Jikook's couple moments and their skinship or mere interactions because neither of those two make Jikook real... to me.

If Jikook showing skinship and merely interacting with eachother to you is a determining factor as to whether they are real- it's not, to me. I've made this much clear over the course of my blogs. If it's your metric then it differs from mine and I can't 'challenge' it. Lol.

I have said, Jikook can interact zero in a content and I still could be able to tell if they are a couple.

Similarly, two people can grind on eachother and stick their tongues down eachother's throats and I still will be able to tell they are not a couple within the same group if they are not.

Am I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Hell, I said JK was going to post for Jimin's birthday. He didn't. I got that wrong.

I do retrospectively change my mind on a lot of things. If say, in the future, Jimin announced he has a kid and is married to a het woman I would backpedal on my theory that Jikook is real. I don't think it's that deep.

If at any one point, I have reason to believe Jikook aren't together any more as a couple within BTS, or that one of them is straight, I would change my opinion about them being in a gay relationship with eachother.

Similarly, if I have reason to believe Jikook have broken up or distanced themselves from eachother at one point, I would say so and not run around the internet yelling Jikook gay, Jikook married.

There are moments, when I thought Jikook were together but they weren't and so I had to change my mind in retrospect too.

It seems to me, that to y'all, as long as I'm saying Jikook are together then I'm right and it's Amen preach but if I say I think they are or were not together at a point in their relationship then suddenly it's, she is a Trump supporter spreading lies about Jikook and dancing in the rain with convicted serial killers while trying to pass off her published work as Jikook fanfiction. It's all very interesting how some people's minds work...

For the record, I said Jikook were broken up within that period because they were not claiming eachother, reassuring eachother, exercising rights of claim and authority, speaking eachothers love language and all the other metrics I have time and again pointed out several times across my posts that they are the qualities that to me make Jikook a couple.

So do you see why I feel some kind of way when people come at me with the, 'they stared at eachother' 'they smiled at eachther' they touched eachother' argument? Y'all must have me confused a certain shipper on the block. Lol.

You tell me they look cozy and intimate, but then I go and check and they are still not claiming eachother or exhibiting any of the qualities that makes them a couple. Lol.

If I say Jikook is in a relationship, it's usually because I have reasons to believe they are in a relationship. If I say Jikook are not together, it's also because I have reasons to believe they are not together. It's really not hard maths.

I forego a lot of sleep to ensure I share my thought process on a lot of my theories and opinions. I have shared across several posts why I believe Jikook is real. I have shared a few of the metrics I use to decide on that opinion and I have shared my thought process on why I believe in certain moments they aren't together.

It's exhausting when I have to repeat that process each time because then it's not about you asking for my opinion on the topic anymore because I've already stated that, it's about you asking me to change my opinion on a topic based on your assessment and your metric and it just doesn't work that way.

Your assertion that Run 119 was filmed in the same era as On is valid I guess... but I have to disagree. I can't tell you exactly when that episode was filmed but if I had to share my two cents on it, I'd have to place it towards the middle of April this year or somewhere around that period. In my opinion.

I say that because Jimin debuted his jet black hair around 14th April when he appeared in a Vlive with RM. Again I do not know exactly when he got his hair changed but as of March 26th, he had blondish hair.

In his March 30th Vlive- the one where JK interrupted Jin's call, he had a cap on so chilee I'm not gonna argue on whether he had dyed his hair at that point or not.

Then there is Suga, who has blonde hair in this Run 119 episode. He had blonde hair from his birthday in early March and tweeted a bunch of photos of himself in blonde hair from March through to April 28th.

Yet in the JinMinGi Vlive on April 27th when Jimin still had jet black hair, Suga seemed to have a jet black hair too. Which means he could have had blonde hair around the time Jimin went black in early April and dyed it black in late April- but that's theory and that's just my assumption. We can know for sure if and when knew content is released which was filmed around that period.

Thus, I doubt if it was filmed during On era like episode 116 and 117- where you could see clearly, Jikook were having issues.

Just because a peice of content is released in succession don't mean they were filmed around the same period...

So yes I agree with you, we only see snapshots of their time and most importantly we see them in DISORDER. BigHit doesn't release content in chronological order as per when they film them- something I keep reiterating throughout my blogs.

And just as a tip for when you want to reconstruct the timeline for accuracy based on their hairstyles, I think you should look to their Live contents and not their prerecorded content. Their VLives and Youtube lives- actual lives not the prerecorded ones passed off as live streams lol, or even their live reactions to when they win awards or do interviews etc.

I think those are a somewhat accurate reflection of the timeline and helps fit contents in their right time period. But even that- it's still 60/40. But that's me. Feel free to use your own metric to access the timeline.

And the part about them seeming cozy within- On Era, I assume? Because that's when I speculated they had a break up?

I wasn't going to address it because it requires me to provide a comprehensive reconstruction of the timeline but I can't do that until a few more years from now when BigHit has released all or most of the content they have on that period.

I'm just gonna have to repeat myself, for the n>th time though and be intentionally vague about it lol - I had decided not to talk about that period again but I have to just because you make it sound like I would go full on frying pan wielding JK on your ass, step for step, for pointing out that Jikook seemed cozy and intimate within that speculated breakup period. Chilee, I'm not a villain. Lol.

I will not whoop your ass for saying that- but you'd have to answer a seven page query if you are an avid reader of my blogs, so clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long day. Lol.

Query: How do you expect Jikook to look like and behave if and when they are not together together?

I keep saying, at the bare minimum, Jikook are friends not enemies. You don't expect them to act like they never knew eachother during such times. But it takes a while for them to settle into that space when they both feel comfortable with being friends and during such period is when you notice them putting up emotional boundaries and distance between them.

Maybe its just because I saw Jikook as friends and got used to them as friends before lovers and so spotting when they are acting as friends comes easy to me? I don't know.

I think it's similar to how people who are used to seeing Jikook as friends can't seem to see past their friendship to seeing them as a couple.

Then there are those who've only known Jikook to be a couple or saw them as a couple first upon entering the fandom and so can't seem to see them as friends or even think of them as friends. It can be a trip for such people. Which one are you?

If you see Jikook as lovers all the time, really I don't. And I don't need the tensions and the silences to sense something is off. JK unable to check RM or anyone within the group when they are crossing boundaries with Jimin is enough tell.

Same way I don't need to the skinship and 'cosy' to tell if they are together. Jk putting up emotional distance with certain members within the group- all but Jimin, is enough evidence for me.

We don't have to all see Jikook through the same lens to enjoy them. And we don't have to agree on everything too.

We are different people, with different backgrounds and experiences. We can't think the same or perceive on things the same.

I keep saying, to me, there is a quality to Jikook that makes them more than friends. If I see those qualities in them, I believe they are a couple. If not, they are not. Those are the qualities I see only between Jikook and what set them apart from the other ships in BTS.

I see their friendship and I also see their other stuff.

And I notice, during certain periods that they lose that quality that makes them couples- for them to be a couple they need to be speaking eachothers love language, exercising certain rights and privileges over each other, claiming eachother, reassuring eachother yadda yadda yadda and a whole others that don't include them merely talking to eachother or engaging in skinship.

When I talk about Jikook On Era break up period, I'm talking about the period from the 21st to 28th February this year- or the period right before it.

Thats the period I noticed a drastic change in Jikook's interactions and even their personalities. It gave me the feeling that jikook had been through something heavy prior to that date. That period seemed more like the aftermath of a break up rather than the beginning of it as there seemed to be a drastic flip in their dynamics compared to any era before that. Especially late December or around the period when they filmed Carpool Karaoke.

They weren't doing any of the things I've mentioned above that to me make them a couple- they were just interacting and pretty much being civil- except for JK. He seemed more angry, less tolerant and very assertive against Jimin and the group.

He was being super self assertive and was asserting himself even against Jimin- something he has been doing a lot this year which I keep talking about.

Jimin didn't seem different to me at all to me in that period until April.

Why do I feel you are forcing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about? Lol.

I mark that period as significant not only because of the changes that took place in Jikook's dynamics but because it marks the genesis of the JK we are experiencing today.

Their interactions within that period were reflective of a consistent pattern of behavior they've exhibited around periods when they are not together- JK putting up boundaries, not claiming JM, JM trying to reconnect etc.

For instance, at Music Bank on the 28th of February, Jimin did that thing with Jin when he noticed JK interacting with Tae but JK didn't mind him or claim.

Contrast that with their moment on the 1st March, at Inkigayo, where JK literally teleported his ass to stand behind JM when he noticed JM had started his shenanigans on the stage.

Jikook started claiming eachother and acting as a couple again from then- they started reassuring eachother and doing all these things that to me mark them as a couple. Again, this is only an assumption, I don't have the comprehensive breakdown of the period- yet because there are new contents being released on a daily.

On 6th March, during Music Bank when Hobi hugged Jimin during their interview JK reacted strongly to that too in my opinion.

On 30th March, JK interrupted Jin's call to flirt and ask JM on a date- you could see them acting as a couple from that moment at Inkigayo on 1st March throughout to 30th March and their interactions were consistent.

Their interactions in the period before that was pretty much inconsistent and filled with a lot of Jump cuts- which I'm hoping future contents will help fill the gaps for me so I can build a comprehensive breakdown of that era- at least for my self. Iol.

It's just the way Jikook usually behave after these period. They go through a reconnection phase, where they constantly try reassure eachother and then eventually end up in a honey moon phase of a sort where you'd see them flirting up and down the hills, acting super touchy, hitting the red marks- making us and the others feel weird and super uncomfortable watching them.

It's also important to note that around the period of them reconnecting, JK had started distancing himself from Tae. He puts up emotional boundaries with the others and closes himself off to them when he opens himself up to Jimin.

I mean if I'm 'wrong,' and I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying if I'm wrong because of your two seconds clip of them acting 'cozy,' then I gotta ask what happened to JK in this period? Why was he putting up boundaries between him and Jimin in that period, and what set him on this self assertive path he's been on throughout this year- think about that while I hold on to my he went through a nasty breakup and had an emotional trauma that pushed him on a path to reevaluate and set his priorities straight theory. Lol

I think some of the content they have released so far within that period were filmed either closer to or far from when that break up happened- Run 116 and 117 would be the closest to that period so far- I just don't know if it was before 21st February or after it.

Run 100 and 101 would also have been filmed relatively closer to that period or immediately after it because Jimin was behaving in those Runs the same way he was behaving during the On Comeback Special VLive which was released on 21st of February- I feel the breakup would happened before this date.

In both those Runs and the On comeback special, Jimin seemed beat, humbled and subdued. He was trying to establish eye contact with JK during the comeback VLive, egging him on to talk about his looks, and putting boundaries between him and the other members. He seemed to be on his best behavior.

For instance, in the Comback he seemed like he was walking on eggshells around Kookie and didn't want to create the impression he was going out of his way to flirt with the others or portray himself as available and so when Suga touched his waist or back, he asked him to stop.

Similary, in Runs 100/101 behind scenes or something, when they were eating and he noticed Tae had food residue on his lips, he tried to help him clean it but panicked and stopped the moment he sensedJK lifting his head up- it seemed he didn't want to piss JK off in those two instances. JK for the most part just seemed serious and less tolerant of JM's bs within that period.

Juxtapose JM's behavior in these two instances with the events at Music Bank and Inkigayo where he was hugging Jin and acting extra around Kook- which to me seemed like he was looking for reassurance by trying to get JK to claim him but of course JK didn't do that.

Jimin likes being reassured by JK when he is feeling 'insecure.' And often, JK reassures him when he notices JM going through that. Jimin does the same for JK.

They are intune with eachother's emotional needs and they consciously go out of their way to meet them.

Take the recent MAMA speech moment when JM was giving a speech and he seemed like he need support- emotional support and back up. Jk turn fully and instantly towards him to let him know he was there for him. We've seen Jikook do this a countless times. I value these moments over them showing skinship or screaming eachother's names.

In the recent BE press conference red carpet moment when JM tried it with RM- did you notice JK's reaction? They both seemed like they were trying to piss eachother other off or make each eachother jealous during that red carpet moment.

JM with RM and JK with Jin. JK grabbed Jin's neck when he noticed JM intentionally acting all up close and friendly with his buddy buddy RM and the frown on his face. He didn't seem too amused with JM doing that...

- it's weird, I know, but it's also their way of reassuring eachother and expressing interest in eachother. Don't judge. It's Jikook- just look away, keep it pushing. Nothing to see here. Lol.

Had it not been for the live events around that On period, I probably wouldn't have noticed these things because the content from BigHit around the period were only showing glimpses of their interactions which again seemed like the aftermath of their breakup and not the start of it.

I think their ability to get to that space where they are each comfortable with relating freely and 'cozy' around eachother as friends depends on how soon they interact on cameras after they've gone through such periods.

If they film immediately soon after, or during, often the tension between them is much more evident like in run 116 and 117.

If they film much later from it, then you wouldn't even notice a damn thing at all. In my opinion. Especially, if you don't know the difference between Jikook as friends and Jikook as lovers.

You can never tell though if you focus solely on Jimin's behavior during such periods- because Jimin is just that guy. He doesn't bring the drama to work. He will smile sunshine through the pain and act like nothing happened. For JK it's different, in my opinion.

Jimin has a very high emotional intelligence quotient and seems to process emotions better and faster. JK is not like that. It is why I feel, he tends to put up physical and emotional barriers with Jimin and with the others sometimes when he is going through it.

They all process emotions at different paces. In my opinion.

I'm starting to wonder if y'all think Jikook is one sided at this point. Lol. Jikook is not one sided. Jimin is not the only one in their relationship. You can't focus on him alone to decide if your ship is sailing or in a good place- because guess what? Jimin can put up a show of it.

It's just as how Tuktukkers tend to focus on Tae rather than JK in determining whether they still have a ship or not. If they paid attention to JK for one minute, they would know their ship got lost at sea at debut.

I keep saying JM's 'the boy in love with Jungkook' persona is a facade. He loves JK through this facade but you have to look past it. I mean this is the guy who told Jin JK doesn't act a certain way around him, but backpedaled and said he was just 'saying it for content' when Jin called him out on it. Same guy Jk says, he intentionally acts cutes when he notices the cameras on him.

You gotta wonder what else he does just for content and for the cameras. Isn't this why people claim Jikook is fanservice?

You have to pay attention to JK too you know? They have different personalities, different ways of handling issues, different ways of loving and different ways of solving problems.

Jimin over expresses himself and tries to establish contact when he is at the recieving end of a freeze out. He did the same thing on stage with JK during Manila when he tried to have a conversation with Kook- to squash whatever issues they had been having but JK needed his space physically and emotionally.

Jimin was sat next to Suga chatting with him, asking him questions, laughing with him but the moment Suga touched him he snapped. He did the same thing in Dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK teased him with Suga. He snapped almost instantly and didn't seem happy with it- he doesn't want to be shipped with Suga and yet he is the one constantly going 'I miss Suga hyung' 'Suga and I are the parents and JK is the son"

In run 116, you could see him trying to interact with Kook even when Kook was clearly putting up boundaries with him. Had Kook not been closed off to him in that moment, we probably would never have noticed anything was off with them honestly.

And that hug JM gave Kook in the end, did you see him looking sideways as if he was doing something wrong? Compare that moment with the Siriux FM interview where he had his hands around Kook. He didn't seem- what's the word, scared.

And by the way, that moment was also filmed on the 21st of February in the US, the same day of their Rockefeller interview and the same day the On Comeback Special VLive was released- so do the maths? Was that the start of a break up or the aftermath of it?

Jimin was leaning forward in that period true, but was JK receiving and reciprocating his actions and matching them throughout that period? No. Or may be its debatable- you tell me. Lol.

Jikook behave in a certain way and give off a certain vibe when they are good and sailing- but not all such moments is because they are a couple. In my opinion.

When they get to that good space where they can be comfortable around each other, they sail as friends too.

It's just like, when they are not good and they give off bad vibes. But not all the bad vibes they give off is because they are not good. Know what I mean?

It's all up to how you perceive them and how much you understand of their dynamics I guess.

It is my understanding that, JK opens up to certain other members within the group while simultaneously putting up boundaries with Jimin when he is having serious problems with Jimin. From my observation of their interactions.

So I ask, within the period of 21st February to 28th, was he leaning towards this certain member he was suddenly BFFs with around the time of their break up or was he leaning away from him? He literally teleported away from him to be next to Jimin when they were getting back together and Tae didn't seem amused by that either.

It's Jikook, I get it. I think you need to pay attention to the way they interact with the other members within the group too? Because that's equally telling. Sigh.

It is my understanding that, Jimin is quick to anger yet quick to forgive and he sometimes glosses over things, puts a lot of energy and efforts into embellishing his relationship with Kook and presenting them as the perfect duo and the perfect relationship- which is something that I think psychologically induces the Kumbaya in a lot of Jikook shippers and influences them into thinking their relationship is perfect and kumbaya. But that's another topic for another day.

JK makes Jikook more real. To me.

I hear often, people talk about how Jimin is less touchy than JK and has personal boundaries within the group and how over the years, he has toned down on his touchiness with the other members because JK puts up a lot of boundaries for him around the members with the frying pans and what not, and would fume whenever Jimin or anyone crosses those boundaries...

But have y'all ever wondered the kind of boundaries Jimin put up for JK within the group and expects JK to uphold within the group when they are together? Hint: It's not JK's touchiness or lack of boundaries. Y'all be connecting the wrong dots. Lol.

Jk puts up physical boundaries for Jimin because that is important to him. Jimin put up emotional boundaries for JK because that is important to him. They overlap sometimes but those times are insignificant to me.

Jk's certain bonds suffer because of Jimin. And he stops respecting those boundaries when he and Jimin are no longer together and the moment they are back together, he puts those boundaries up again with those bonds- this is Morse code, if you catch on message me with it. Wink.

JM throwing his arms around Kook during a serious interview is not him claiming JK or reassuring him. JK yelling Jimin to the power Z is not him exercising right of authority over Jimin- lovers do that. Know who else does that? FRIENDS. Lol.

It's nothing Hobi doesn't do with JM or the other ships don't do.

Listen, I saw all the good bits and things that you saw in that period too and still I formed my opinion on that era the way that I did and have. And the new content from that era, Run 116 and 117 all follow the same pattern of behavior I noticed around that period and have talked about. So no, my view on that era hasn't changed.

Unless, your objective is to have me change my mind based on the 'wrong' timeline dots you've connected, then we would just have to agree to disagree. Lol.

If you believe Jikook were together during that period, I agree to disagree on it. Feel free to disagree with my opinion too.

Always ship Jikook in the way that makes sense to you. And support them while you are at it. Jikook is real. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

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nadiaportia · 3 years

Text

Sayelle of Bizatena

art by @ia-bi-tia

The adventurous disciple with a rare gift

Other bios: Ximena | Deirdra | Heloisa | Cibela

Full name: Sayelle bint Zahir (”Sayelle, daughter of the Magician”)

Meaning of name: Amalgation of “Sayid” and “Elle”; Arabic for “patient” and French for “she”

Family:

Faarooq al-Rashid and Balqis bint Oaisara: Sayelle’s biological parents. They died when their child was only a baby in an earthquake that was part of what would later be called “The Cataclysm that almost was”, during which both an earthquake as well as a tsunami devasted parts of Bizatena.

Farida bint Zahir: Sayelle’s mentor and adoptive mother. She along the other apprentices of age helped raise the children brought to the Magician’s temple and later on took on the role of tutor in all affairs of life for Sayelle. She is supportive of her ward and protects her affinity for umbramancy as soon as it manifests.

Khentkawes: A dodo and Sayelle’s familiar. During a trip to an island north of Prakra, Sayelle got lost and injured but was guided back to the village by a perceptive and helpful bird. She decided to leave her peers behind to travel with Sayelle and see the rest of the world like only very few flightless birds living on an island could. Khentkawes is very clever and an equal partner in running Sayelle’s magic shop, responsible for cataloguing the goods kept and sold.

Nickname: Sally

Favourite meal: Tabbouleh, heavy on the spring onions and mint

Favourite drink: Pomegranate juice

Favourite flower: Hibiscus

Favourite color: Turquoise

Birthday: 27th of April

Age: 33 during the events of the game

Zodiac: Taurus

MBTI: ENFJ

Patron Arcana: Wheel of Fortune and the Seven of Cups

Upright: The Wheel turns endlessly with the passage of time, changing fortunes as if by whim.

Reversed: The Wheel must return all to its beginning- life cannot remain in the sun forever.

Upright: In dreams possibilities seem endless, but the waking world won't wait for you forever.

Reversed: Sometimes an offer is too good to be true. Be wary of false promises in the coming days.

Gender: Trans female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Height: 1,70 m // 5′6″

Appearance:

Sayelle is of slender build. Her skin is light brown with a cold undertone and she has an angular face. There are freckles on her cheekbones and nose, which is of aquiline shape. She has dark gray eyes and slightly full lips. Her wavy lilac hair is usually braided with some streaks being loose and in her face and her eyebrows are rather thin.

She usually wears small black glasses on her nose, a golden nostril ring and a golden necklace with a small turquoise pendant. She wears brown lipstick and dark brown winged eyeliner.

She carries herself with ease, a certain light-footedness and confidence.

Visual inspirations:

Golshifteh Farahani

Languages spoken: Bizateni, Zadithi, Prakran, the Common Tongue of the People of the Drylands, Firentian, Kerusksch and the Common Tongue

Magical abilities:

Air-based magic, the ability to conjure storms and manipulating temperatures

Umbramancy; shadow magic that requires a lot of discipline and focus. She can travel faster through darkness, is able to communicate with “the shadows” and has a connection to nocturnal animals and everything that primarily lives in in the dark.

Astral magic; the ability to separate her mind from her body even within the mortal realm, and having her conscience pass into the realms of the dead

Love interests:

Nadia

Deirdra: They were together for a brief time, broke up due to realizing they weren’t in the right headspace to be in a relationship, and during the events of the game have to work through some issues that happened while Vesuvia was a victim of the plague.

In general, like with most of my characters; if they’re compatible sexuality-wise as well as personality-wise, feel free to ship them with your OCs or MCs. Hit me up with a message and we can discuss the details!

Backstory:

After the death of her parents, the young Sayelle was like most children without parents or potential guardians taken to one of many temples where the Magician was revered and his craft taught. Her mentor, a Bizateni magician who herself had grown up at the temple named Farida, taught the young apprentice everything she knew, coming to see her as someone with immense talent, drive and also like she was her own child.

Shortly after her arrival at the temple, Sayelle proved herself to have a great interest in all things that had to do with magic, something she had in common with her late parents but other than them who didn’t show any signs of being able to use magic, Sayelle turned out to be a prodigy. By the time she was ten, children her age paled against her magicks and spell work and she became a peer to many older children who were on her level of knowledge. She found both good friends, admirers of her talents as well as rivals amongst her fellow magicians, and yet grew to see them as siblings, and the adult magicians that taught them the ways of their creed as mentors and in a sense aunts and uncles.

At the age of 17, she symbolically shed the name given to her birth by her parents and took on one of her own choosing, as well as officially binding herself to the Magician with a name, like it happens to all adult residents of the temples. Now legally of age, Sayelle was let into the secret arts of umbramancy - shadow magic - after Farida felt the affinity within her during the many years of training her and soon enough she mastered the spells so well that she was already on Farida’s level. It was sometime after that when the magician Soraya, who was in direct service to the Emir, came to visit the temple to look for potential acolytes to train at the Palace and was immediately drawn towards Sayelle and her master. Umbramancy was a highly revered form of magic, especially because there were very few who didn’t fear it due to its bad reputation or have bothered to get attuned to it - Farida being one of the few who had successfully done so but kept it a secret.

Sayelle and Farida were invited to come to the Palace and vouch for themselves in front of the Emir with Soraya’s help. The ruler was clearly impressed by Sayelle’s talents and thus she and Farida left their life at the temple behind and moved into their chambers at the Palace, now with Sayelle as the resident umbramancer and Farida as her assistant to uphold the lie that Farida had learned umbramancy from Sayelle as her mentor could have very well been executed for keeping these sorts of secrets from the Emir’s eyes and ears at the temple and the magicians at court. Other than Farida, who constantly felt unwell at the Palace and grew annoyed with the nobility’s antics, Sayelle came to enjoy the attention, the ability to buy whatever she desired and be able to live a life she had never even dreamt of.

Years passed but Sayelle came to realize how selfish the Bizateni nobles truly were, but she didn’t think she’d be able to leave as she was the resident umbramancer who technically was upheld more as a symbol of status – having a magician with a very rare specialty and affinity gave a lot of fame to the Bizateni city-state. Yet Farida committed a selfless sacrifice to grant her adoptive daughter and protégée freedom from the court; by claiming as herself as the more powerful umbramancer, she took Sayelle’s place, who from then on returned to the temple in which she grew up on but her abilities still made her highly desirable. She took a leave from Bizatena and ever since worked as an adventurer, exploring ancient ruins and learning from the cultures that used to live there and the ways they utilized magic.

It was during those extensive travels that she not only met her familiar Khentkawes, but also various other wandering magicians and scholars, one of them Asra Alnazar and his then-girlfriend Ximena Rubalcaba. With them she struck up a close friendship which ultimately convinced her to set foot in Vesuvia where she opened a shop for magical utensils and worked as a professional medium and made the acquaintance of Deirdra Margalit, a teacher living in South End, with whom she had a brief relationship and continued to be friends with. When the red plague claimed many lives in the city, she volunteered in helping fight the disease but was powerful when it claimed patients, some of which had been friends and colleagues. She broke off contact to Asra when finding out about him wanting to aid Lucio in a sinister ritual and continued to run her business as usual after the plague ran its course.

More art:

feat. Nadia by @joeyhazell-art | post

feat Deirdra by @missrabbitart | post

#the arcana #the arcana OC #the arcana original character #sayelle of bizatena #FINALLY! this one took so long to make esp w rewriting the bio a bit #but sayelle lovers... come get your backstory

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 3 years

Text

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Twenty Eight

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 25th, 1999

“Toby?” Remy asked.

“Yeah, Rem?” Toby asked, and Remy’s heart ached at the familiar nickname.

“Why don’t you write anymore?” Remy asked. “You would write all the time before Christmas, but now it’s Spring Break and you haven’t even written once!”

“Oh...uh...” Toby cleared his throat. “I just thought our parents knew you better than I would, since I’m not here, you know? And I trusted their judgement, and...yeah, I didn’t want you to obsess over the letters.”

“I don’t obsess over the letters!” Remy objected. “They help me get through the rough patches, yeah, but I don’t obsess over them! Haven’t you gotten any of my letters?”

Toby tilted his head to the side. “You’ve been sending letters?”

Remy felt a little piece of him die inside. “I bet Mom’s been stopping the mailman from sending them to you somehow,” he grumbled.

“What?” Toby asked.

“Never mind,” Remy said. “You can just...not write. I won’t bug you about it again.”

“Remy...”

But Remy was already running up the stairs to hide in his room.

April 27th, 2001

Remy woke up the morning after his mother showed up with a pit of dread in his stomach. It was barely dawn yet, and Remy crept out of his room to the living room where there were two windows which looked out to the parking lot below. He peeked out of one of them, and sure enough, he could recognize the shape of his parents’ sedan, sitting on the edge of the street. He couldn’t see his mother inside, but as long as the car was nearby, she was around. He snuck over to Emile’s room and was barely inside the door before Emile was grumbling and sitting up. “Remy, what time is it?”

“It’s early, I know,” Remy said, wincing. “But my mother is outside.”

“She’s what,” Emile said. Fury entered his voice as he declared, “I’m calling the cops.”

“No! Don’t! Please!” Remy exclaimed. “I swear she’s not that bad! If I just talk to her for five minutes she’ll leave! We can go out together if you want, but we don’t need to call the cops!”

“Remy,” Emile growled. “She’s terrorizing you, and stalking you. That’s not okay. I’m calling the cops.”

“Emile, please!” Remy begged. “You don’t have to do that!”

“Yes I do!” Emile practically bellowed.

Remy jumped a good six inches and all the blood drained from his face. Emile’s eyes widened and he stood, approaching Remy, but Remy just backed out of the room before running to his own, closing it with his whole body and trying to keep his breathing steady. Emile and Kim had both taught him techniques that could keep his breathing calm and even, but they didn’t seem to be working right now. All he could focus on was Emile’s yelling, echoing over and over in his head. His face was on fire as tears scorched his cheeks, and Emile was knocking on Remy’s door. “Remy! Remy, I’m sorry, please, let me in!”

Remy whimpered and pressed his hands against his ears. Much as he would love to let Emile in, he was also terrified that if he did so, he would be in massive trouble. He had spoken out of turn, he had argued against what Emile wanted, and Emile had gotten angry because of it. That usually meant the second Remy gave in, he’d be getting at least an earful, if not someone unintentionally hurting him.

There was a pounding at the front door, and Remy flinched. Was his mother making a reappearance this early? It was probably barely six in the morning! Footsteps went to the front door, opened it, and there was rushed mumbling that Remy couldn’t make out. He strained to listen closer, and heard words such as “abduction” and “search” and “press charges.”

Remy’s breathing wasn’t getting any better. He buried his head in his knees. If his mother had gone to the police claiming he had been kidnapped...he was going to throttle someone.

Emile yelped and then there was more knocking at Remy’s bedroom door. “Mister Picani?” a gruff voice asked.

“If my mother is the one who called you, I’m not leaving this room!” Remy screamed, voice cracking. “I’m a grown-ass man, she cannot dictate my life!”

“Son, we need you to come with us,” the man said. “You’re safe, you don’t have to lie to anyone about how old you are.”

Remy growled and moved away from the door, grabbing his wallet from his nightstand and pulling out his ID from one of the front pockets. He opened the door an inch and saw a heavily-built man on the other side, wearing a police uniform. He offered his ID out. “I’m of legal age,” he snapped. “I don’t know what my mother told you, but this is my ID.”

The policeman took it, examined it closely, and scrutinized Remy. “You still need to come with us, son,” he said.

“On what grounds?!” Remy snapped. “No, seriously, on what grounds?! Am I not allowed to split rent with Emile over there?” he asked, nodding to his boyfriend. “Am I legally required to go to college? Are you a truancy officer?” He huffed, “I don’t care what my mother told you, I’m not. Going. Anywhere.”

“We need to verify your age, Mister Picani, and ensure that this isn’t a fake ID,” the officer said.

“Okay, I don’t know what my mother told you—”

“—You’re not coming with us,” the officer finished, grabbing Remy roughly by the arm. “Kid, I’ll handcuff you if I have to.”

“Bite me,” Remy huffed, trying to wrench his arm free.

The officer’s nostrils flared as he asked, “Care to repeat that comment?”

“Remy. Remy!” Emile exclaimed, from where he was barricaded from moving by another officer. “Don’t fight back on this one, I’ll come pick you up from the station as soon as they realize your mother was lying about you being seventeen and a runaway.”

Remy bared his teeth at the officer. “I’m a grown-ass man! You can’t tell me that you seriously believe I’m seventeen!”

“I’ve seen kids taller than you at sixteen,” the officer replied. “March.”

Remy was dragged, kicking and screaming, out of his apartment and into a waiting patrol car. He was unceremoniously thrown in the back, and he fumed in silence all the way to the station. When he was dragged into the station, his mother was waiting for him, and judging by her face she had been crying to some officer or another. “Remy!” she exclaimed, rushing over and trying to hug him.

“Get off me!” Remy exclaimed, shoving her away. “Why would you leave your car outside Emile’s apartment complex and come to the police claiming I was a minor?!”

His mother stared at him in shock, and he just kept his arms crossed, and his teeth bared. “An explanation would be nice,” he threw the words back in her face.

“Remy, you of all people should know that you can’t run away from your responsibilities!” his mother chided. “Your father and I were so worried!”

“Of course you would see it that way,” Remy breathed, before laughing. “Bite me, mother! I’m nineteen years old, I know what I’m doing with my life, and you are not going to be a part of it!”

His mother turned on the waterworks and suddenly everyone in the station was glaring at him. His mother kept wailing and trying to hug him and he kept shoving her away until the officers who had brought him in dragged him to a holding cell, presumably to stop a fight in the front. It wasn’t the classiest place he had ever been in, but it was away from his mother, so he could relax just a little bit. Two other guys were in there with him, one who looked like he was recovering from a bender, and another who Remy had no idea what he might be here for, but who had tattoo sleeves all up and down both arms. “Nice tats,” he said.

The man tilted his chin up at Remy. “Thanks. You mind my asking why you’re here?”

“My mother’s a nut job?” Remy laughed incredulously. “Claimed I was seventeen and a runaway because I dropped out of college and didn’t call her over Christmas.”

The man roared with laughter, causing the drunk to glare at the both of them. “Wow. That’s...certainly something,” the man said. “I’m here because my girlfriend and I got in a fight, and I was angry enough and stupid enough to punch the cop trying to get in between us.”

Remy grimaced. “Ouch.”

“Tell me about it,” the man said. “I really hope they just give me a fine and not, like, jail time.”

“Me too,” Remy said. “My...my friend and I got in a fight this morning too, before the cops showed up at our door.”

“Your...friend?” the man asked.

“Well, yeah. He and I split rent. We’re having some issues and frequent arguments about keeping the place clean, but at the end of the day, he’s still a friend. It’s just hard to remember that sometimes.” Remy leaned against the wall and sighed. “But my mother likes to ruin everything good I ever find for myself in the world, if it doesn’t fit her vision of what she wants for me.”

The man winced. “Oh, she’s one of those,” he said with distaste. “I hate those. The kind where if you so much as bring up getting a tattoo, they’ll start screaming that you’re ruining your life, that this isn’t what you want when in reality it isn’t what they want. I hate those types.”

“Mhm,” Remy hummed. “She’s... the worst.”

“You look beat, kid,” the man said.

“I look how I feel, then,” Remy mumbled.

The man checked by the door but no one was standing there. “You should probably get some rest, kid, especially if your mom tries to get to you.”

“Like I could sleep when she knows where I live,” he laughed.

The man shook his head. “I know it seems like the end of the world, but if you make it clear you want nothing to do with her, sooner or later she’ll back off.”

“You’ve clearly never met her,” Remy sighed. But even as he said it, he was already drifting off to sleep from exhaustion.

When he next woke up, it was to the door of the holding cell opening with a screech. “Mister Picani,” an officer regarded him coolly. “Please come with me.”

Remy stood and followed, somewhat confused. He was led to the lobby, and handed his ID. Both Emile and his mother were waiting for him on opposite sides of the lobby, and the officer said. “The ID is legitimate. Our apologies for disrupting your morning.” And with that, the officer left.

Emile and his mother were both starting to talk to him at once, but Remy just watched the police officer leave. When he couldn’t even pretend to be distracted anymore he sighed, looked between them, and winced as he realized he was still in his pajamas and had no shoes, and he’d have to walk outside like this. He held up a hand and Emile paused in his tidal wave of apologies, but his mother was still going on her tirade. He sighed and gave Emile a look that roughly equated to do you see what I have to deal with? and Emile snorted, nodding.

His mother paused at that, looking between the two of them. Remy took the opportunity to say, “Yeah, I’m going back to Emile’s place, Mom, and there’s nothing you can do about that. I’m not going home with you, I’m not doing whatever you want me to do to ‘redeem’ myself in your eyes, and you can’t stop me.”

“You’ll never get Tobias’ number,” his mother threatened.

Remy laughed, and even though it felt painfully fake to him, his mother looked shocked. “Oh, I doubt that Toby would even want me calling him, Mom. After all, I only ever pestered him about everything, isn’t that what you said?”

Emile visibly twitched, fingers clenching and unclenching in a strangling motion at his sides.

“Don’t bother either of us again, Mom, Emile needs his time to study and I need to actually work if I want to uphold my half of rent,” he said. “Come on, Emile, let’s go. I still need to get my shoes from yours.”

Emile looked down, seemed to notice Remy’s bare feet for the first time, and snickered as he said, “Yeah, I can’t imagine walking around barefoot is accepted at work. Let’s go.”

They walked out of the station in minorly strained silence. “I’m really sorry for yelling,” Emile said once they were in his car.

“It is what it is,” Remy said with a shrug. “Not like I’m going to break up with you over it.”

“Remy, I traumatized you. I...that’s not okay,” Emile said, glancing over at Remy.

Remy shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, Emile,” Remy said. “Give me some time and I’ll forgive you. It will take time, but provided you’re willing to give it to me...”

“Of course,” Emile said.

“Then it’s no worries,” Remy said. He bit his lip. “I really wish I could call Toby.”

“I’m sure you guys will find each other one day,” Emile said. “I doubt he’d just...give up on seeing you ever again.”

“I hope you’re right,” Remy mumbled, moping as he stared out the car window. “I just...could really use his support right about now.”

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #emile picani #ts sleep

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