#1) declaring his intentions toward someone he has feelings for

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

#superman was already iffy on bruce wayne #now he has a true hatred for the man for #1) declaring his intentions toward someone he has feelings for #2) not only implying that he is better boyfriend material than /Superman/ #but that he’s so much better that superman isn’t even competition #/bruce wayne/ #notable playboy and idiot #a better choice as a boyfriend #the absolute arrogance #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine

[bleedingoptimism]

You Are Mine part 1

When Eddie decided to come out he thought it’d be funny to do so with a music video, so he wrote a song and presented it to the band. The boys loved it and the song was declared the first one of their next album, the third one.

And then it was time to shoot the video.

They hire their personal friend and favorite director, Argyle. Just Argyle, like Cher.

Between him and Argyle they come up with a cool script. The band is going to act in it, they just need two extras, so they hold auditions for a couple in their twenties.

On the day of the auditions, Argyle tells them the interviews are mostly for show, the band can pick whoever they feel the most comfortable with, and the boys tell Eddie he should pick since it’s his song.

The five of them sit at a long table like it’s fucking American Idol or something and just stare at the couples waiting in line through a one-side glass mirror whispering among themselves and watching amused as the couples start getting progressively nervous.

There’s a couple that immediately grabs Eddie's attention when he does a pass-over, a pretty tall dirty blonde and a brunette with big soft-looking hair. 

The guy is absolutely gorgeous, with big kind eyes, a straight cute nose, a square jaw, big shoulders, a small waist, and tan skin that seems to be covered in beauty marks.

He just strikes Eddie as someone that would make Michelangelo cry with his inability to capture his perfection.

‘Oh, that’s good. I should write that.’ He thinks.

He and the girl are talking in hush tones and Eddie watches as she fixes his hair while he jabbers nervously and then, evidently says something that makes her angry because she pokes him in the ribs. The guy giggles cutely and loudly enough to carry over to their room and then blushes furiously when heads turn toward them, hiding behind his friend. The woman in question snorts and chuckles as he chastises her.

Eddie stands up, crouches behind Argyle’s chair, and tells him, “I want that one.”

“What?” he answers, so Eddie points at the couple, “I want him.”

Argyle looks at them considering and clicks his tongue and Eddie insists, “Please Argy, please, I love him, I want him, I want that one, pleaseee”

“Eddie, we need to at least consider the rest of them. This is my job we are talking about here. Please, take it seriously” Argyle says in a calm voice and Eddie deflates,

“Dude...I’m sorry I-”

“Nah man, I’m kidding!” Argyle cuts him off, “Couple number four! Please step forward!” he yells into a mike.

The blonde and the brunette look at each other and walk in nervously as Eddie goes back to his seat at the end of the table and Argyle does a small flourishing move with his hand inviting them to introduce themselves.

“Hi! My name is Robin, and this is Steve, pleased to meet you!” The girl says smiling kindly at them. She nudges Steve on the side and he does a little finger wave at them.

Eddie has to bite his lip not to smile too much because they are really fucking cute. 

Argyle returns the wave enthusiastically, because nothing ever faces him, and looks at the list he has in his hands, “Any experience acting Robin and Steve?”

Robin says yes, something about drama club in high school and Steve just shrugs which amused Eddie to no end, and frankly makes him really curious, for all intent and purposes, Steve doesn’t seem to be interested in the job.

“How did you find out about this job?” Jeff asks them, and Gareth nods like he was just about to ask the same thing.

“A friend of ours told us about it?” Robin answers “He’s a photographer but I don't want to drop names, especially in case we embarrass ourselves,” she says jokingly and looks relieved when she gets a couple of chuckles from Argyle and the band.

“And you were interested because…?” Frank inquires.

Robin starts saying some carefully prepared speech about learning experiences but is interrupted by Steve saying, “We needed the money”

“Oh my god! Shut up!” Robin suddenly turns to him completely red in the face.

“What? You told me to be myself!” Steve tells her frowning. 

“This is exactly why I always talk in interviews”

“What does that mean?” 

“You suck at this Steve! Just as much as you suck at-”

Gareth clears his throat loudly making them stop and look at him sheepishly, “So tell us, do you know the band? Are you fans?”

Eddie takes a moment to look at his bandmates and to his relief they all look as amused as he feels, especially Argyle. The couple of newbies is clearly a mess but in an endearing kind of way.

“Well…” Robin starts but doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“Never heard of it,” Steve says looking apologetic. 

“Wait, Really?” Robin asks him, once more ignoring the director and the band, “They are like, Mike’s favorite band, man! You never heard of Corroded Coffin?”

“Oh well,” Steve shrugs, “I mostly tune out when Mike is talking so…”

Robin snorts and is about to reply but Argyle raises his hand and they both look at him, flinching a little when they realize they had started talking among themselves again.

“Ok.” Argyle tells them clapping once, “Unfortunately for me, I love your energy my dudes, but I’m going to get serious for a second here: I need you two to be professional ok? We have a budget and a schedule and only three days to shoot and I can’t hire you and find out in the middle of the shoot that you are not okay with making out with someone-”

Robin visibly takes a step back and Steve snorts, “Yeah no, I’m not making out with my sister.”

Eddie, who was wondering what kind of relationship they had, does a little happy dance in his head at that.

“No, I meant one of the members of the band” Argyle answers amused.

Robin takes another step back and actually looks a little disgusted and Eddie tries not to find it offensive, “Me?” she asks unsure.

“No,” Frank answers and points at Steve, “Him.”

Surprisingly, they both relax at that, “Oh!” They exclaim in unison and it’s kind of creepy but again, in an endearing kind of way.

And then Steve looks at them one by one, he’s unmistakably and unashamedly checking them all out and Eddie swears his eyes linger on him the most before he smirks and says, “I’m okay with that”

Eddie immediately pushes the contract laying on the table toward Frank, who pushes it to Gareth, who pushes it to Jeff, who pushes it to Argyle and gives him a pen.

Argyle laughs loudly and shakes the sheet of paper, “Well shit, I guess you are hired.”

“We are?!”

He stands up and shakes their hands, hands them the contract and another paper, “This is the script, not that it has any dialogue but just in case you have any questions.” 

They push their heads together and read the script at the same time.

The story is about the band being on tour. Robin and Steve would play as their roadies and the video is supposed to show them in concert, traveling, working, and hanging out. The whole video hints that Eddie is sneaking out with one of them and it ends with the band plus Robin opening a curtain on the tour bus to find Eddie and Steve making out.

The song is called You Are Mine.

When they are done reading, Steve smiles and says “Cute”

And Robin asks, “So which one of you is Eddie?”

Eddie lifts his hand lazily and winks at them.

And Steve, still holding the script, lifts it enough to cover his face but Eddie can still see the tip of his ears as they turn bright red.

‘Oh, he’s gonna eat him alive.’

to be continued

part 1: is this

part 2: ♫ 

part 3: ♫

part 4: ♫

☕ cafecito?

#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #i wrote something #corroded coffin #omg another rockstar eddie au? mimimimi

[hell-drabbles]

Gabriel 1

Summary: It was a cruel idea that you put on the table, you know this well, but you’ve never known yourself to be soft and merciful. If one manages to break Gabriel in, then it should be a simpler task to break the rest of his brethren.

(This one is a… a little extreme. Gabriel torture and the beginnings of Stockholm Syndrome. Also probably gonna make an angel OC. Just need to settle on an appearance that appeals to me. His loyalty will be towards the Reader. The man will worship them with every fiber of his being. Probably will be big, like Mammon. Jokingly want to name him Baraqiel. Because, you know… bara.)

This was torture entirely built on the base of selfishness. Your selfishness. You won’t even begin to pretend that this was for the greater good of the devils in Hell. Well, not as though torture was ever anything but self serving, it just feels more… significant that you proposed this idea with the full intention of taking advantage of it.

Gabriel, the angel that phased through your screen, who sliced open your friend and declared you a target of all angel kind, was chained to the floor of a humid dungeon. He was forced on his side, mouth gagged with hands and eyes bound tight with the cloth of his own clothes. Practically clad in blood-soaked threads rather than a uniform.

He growled as all dogs of heaven do when they hear anyone near their cell. He bit down on his gag when the devil keeping watch clinked open the cell door. And he shuffled his back–six jagged lines, uneven skin caked in disgusting black blood–away from you. You didn’t even grant him the mercy of giving him stitches. He’d scar, but he’d heal.

He didn’t have his halo anymore. You had that thing ripped off when it nearly blinded you just a week ago. He didn’t deserve to shine, to cling to this grace gifted to him by this being he worshiped so much.

You stopped before him and watched him squirm and attempt to curl into a defeated ball. You knelt and grabbed his chin before forcing his head up at an almost agonizing angle. The devils that came before you had left marks on them. Claw marks and plum colored bruised all over his neck.

Of course, they couldn’t kill him. Not when that was your right.

You heard a rasp deep from his throat, pushed out of his mouth with a purpose. He’s trying to say words, probably trying to curse you with an anger deep from his bones, but there was nothing.

“Tch,” you clenched your jaw and ripped off the gag. You forced his mouth open with a thumb and peered inside. No tongue, no uvula, and beyond that was fresh and fleshy scarring trailing down his throat. “Someone took your voice, huh?”

And without your permission. You said to those devils that they can hurt, but they cannot take pieces of your toys. Of course someone would get high on their own power and disobey you.

Gabriel didn’t dig his teeth into your thumb, he closed around it instead. He didn’t stuck, and couldn’t lick, but he let his lips fall around your thumb nonetheless. Seems he recognized your voice. You do make it a habit to do some care. Can’t very well have him die on you suddenly.

You scratched through his greasy hair, like you would any pet, and Gabriel bowed his head into your hands.

Isolation certainly has done a number on him. It won’t be long before he’s bouncing right towards your feet.

#whb #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad #drabble #hell-drabbles #heaven #gabriel #reader insert

[hoffmannwrites]

On My List

1  - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 + 1 Masterlist

Author’s Note: Look at me! New fic, new fandom, new style, ouhhh! So new, so shiny! Anywho, this is a 5+1 fic based off THIS text post which has been rattling around in my brain for weeks. Thank you @stevietruther for the insufferable thoughts in my brain.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Description: 5 Times Steve and Eddie kiss as friends, and one time they don't.

Warnings/Tags: Everyone lives, Nobody dies, 5+1, Kissing, Fluff, Idiots to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, some pretty brief mentions for drinking, smoking, being inebriated (the gang is drunk here but nothing too bad, just in a fun way), uhhh they're gay your honor, no beta we die like Barb, let me know if I missed anything?

You Spin Me Right Round

One

The first time Steve and Eddie kiss is also the first time Steve kisses Robin and Eddie kisses Argyle. It’s just the older members of the party and a few random acquaintances that tag along, and there ain’t shit to do but get high and drunk and play party games. Later into the night, when everyone is inebriated enough to feel comfortable around each other and they have managed to lose both beer pong balls, Vicki suddenly perks up, chest a blotchy bright red under her button up. “We should play spin the bottle,” she announces, feigning bravery with a hopeful glance in Robin’s direction. 

“Oh fuck, seriously?” complains Steve, who is already doing a mental inventory of the people there and how terrible it would be to kiss all of them. Well, most of them, at least.

“What? You afraid someone’s gonna realize that Big Bad Sex God Harrington isn’t actually all he’s cracked up to be?” teases Eddie, pushing his shoulder into Steve’s with a huge smile on his face. 

“No- that’s not- I just…the ratio is off!” Steve sputters, going hot under the collar. He knows that at least one of the girls is a lesbian and the other is his ex girlfriend and the OTHER is the girl his best friend has a crush on. And as he has this thought, his eyes shift to Robin who is wringing her hands in her lap, not looking anyone in the eye. Oh. Oh. This is her chance. To kiss Vickie without any one thinking too much about it. To see if Vickie is as into her as she is. To see if there are sparks, without any pressure. Because it’s just a drunken game. 

“We’re actually gonna motor,” says Jeff, getting up off the floor and pointing to the two Hellfire members behind him. “As much as I would LOVE to stay and lock lips with Munson, some of us have actual jobs in the morning. And Gareth is 1 beer away from ralphing on Harrington’s front lawn.” Gareth just shrugs, knowing he is notorious for over imbibing. 

The three Hellfire boys make their way out the door, leaving just the usual suspects and, of course, Vicki. 

“See? Almost even now, Harrington. Pass me that empty Seagram’s,” says Eddie, oblivious to the fact that this is, by all accounts, a horrible idea. 

“You go first if you’re so intent on planting one on all of us, Eds,” Steve replies, determined to call the older man’s bluff. 

“Gladly.” And with that, Eddie spins the empty bottle and watches smugly as it settles on Argyle. 

“Oh, come to Daddy, Surfer Boy!” Eddie exclaims, shooting his eyes from the bottle up to Argyle, who had already leaned over the bottle towards Eddie expectantly. 

“Dude. I’m expecting greatness. Lay it on me, bro!” Argyle says so seriously it was startling and puckers his lips in the most cartoonish way possible. Eddie grabs his face with both hands and lays one quick and dramatic kiss directly to the other boy’s lips, complete with a loud “Mwah!” Sound effect added. Everyone chuckled at the display, all relaxing slightly due to the fact that the first victims of the game were the two must unserious people of the group, who had no problem breaking the ice.

The game continues, with Jonathan landing on Vickie. He decides to chivalrously go for a kiss on the hand, as he previously declared his loyalty to Nancy. Nancy lands on Robin and kisses her softly on the cheek, sighting the same reason as Jonathan. Argyle goes next and ends up landing on Jonathan. He kisses the photographer lightly on his forehead and pets his hair, which left Jonathan furrowing his brow, but laughing nonetheless. Vickie goes next. Robin holds her breath as the bottle spins and spins and spins for what feels like a lifetime until it lands on…Robin. The girls lock eyes immediately and Vickie subconsciously ducks her head and pushes a piece of hair behind her ear. They turn to each other and just kiss. No preamble or bullshit explanations or disclaimers. They just kiss softly and sweetly for a few moments before breaking away. Neither girl says anything, but Robin is noticeably redder in the face and Vickie seems to lean into her just slightly for the rest of the night.

Next is Robin’s turn and although she prays to whatever high power she can think of for the bottle to land on Vicki again, it lands on Steve. “Ugh man, no! Gross!” Robin whines. “Dems da rules, sugar plum,” Eddie smirks and wiggles his eyebrows.

“Fuck. Fine! But Capital P, guys. I’m so serious,” she warns everyone before turning to Steve. “Don’t worry. I’ll do my best not to woo you with my masculine charms,” Steve says before kissing her so quickly that if anyone blinked they would have missed it.

“Ew,” she states simply when it’s over and wipes off her lips dramatically, like a petulant child wiping away a kiss from their mother. Steve silently takes the bottle and spins it, just begging that it lands on anyone except his ex girlfriend. Anyone! Anyone at all even…Eddie. It stops on Eddie and Steve looks at him, like a big brown eyed idiot in headlights, all that previous confidence gone. Eddie clears his throat, shuffles almost uncomfortably. “So, you gonna show me what Hawkins’s Most Eligible has to offer?” he asks, trying so hard to look like he’s not sweating bullets. 

And Steve is just drunk enough that he’s got the balls to shut Eddie up the way he’s been thinking about for months, since he was called “big boy” in that stupid trailer when the world was ending.  Suddenly, Steve is all siren-eyes and sex appeal, letting his voice drop just a little when he almost whispers “Get ready, big boy,” and grabs Eddie by the back of the neck. Steve tilts Eddie up just enough and takes his sweet time leaning in and ghosting over Eddie’s lips, just enough to make him shiver a little, but not enough for anyone to notice. They share each others air for a fraction of a second before Steve leans in the rest of the way and kisses Eddie, really kisses him, the way he’s been doing to girls for years. And Eddie kisses back, just enough that somewhere in the back of the rockers head, red flags and sirens are going off. But he doesn’t notice, too lost in the feeling of Steve on him to register anything else. They separate after what feels like entirely too long for a kiss during spin the bottle, and wait with bated breath. What for, they’re not sure. But no one says anything and the air feels like it’ll shatter is if they do. And then the moment is gone, because the doorbell rings and Argyle jumps up, chanting “Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!” And suddenly they’re all too hungry to focus on that moment that felt just a little too charged. The rest of the night, Eddie and Steve take turns sneaking glances at each other, like they’re really noticing each other for the first time. But come the morning, everyone is too hazy on the night before to read into it. They all remember the nights activities, but no one thinks to question the tension, chalking it up to being cross faded. Except Eddie suddenly pays a lot more attention to Steve. 

A/N: Fun fact! Wine coolers came out in the early 80s and have only gotten better tasting and more hangover inducing since! 

#Steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #Steve x eddie #Steve Harrington x Eddie munson #stranger things #fluff #hoffmannwrites #5 + 1 #5 + 1 fic #spin the bottle #everyone lives/nobody dies #they're gay your honor #idiots to lovers #friends to lovers #stranger things au #stranger things fanfiction

[adultish-momma]

Contract Law

In which Azul finds out that Yuu passed their law class for good reason.

Warnings: Book 3 spoilers, if we still warn for that.

AN: So out of the three mermen, Azul decided to intermittently participate. Honestly, this monster is fairly self-indulgent, I'm that person who always reads every contract I come across, and I literally screamed when Azul said Yuu would have to belong to him. So enjoy an educated Yuu.

Oh! Before I forget: @dandelionwhisp Enjoy my metaphorical feeding of octopus to 1(one) Azul Ashengrotto.

"I'm not signing this"

Azul Ashengrotto physically stutters when the Prefect pushes away his contract. Everyone in the room seems to have their own reaction to the bold declaration from the magic-less student. The Leech twins (they haven't quite figured out how to distinguish between the two just yet) displayed amusement if one's eerie giggles and the other's mocking chuckles were anything to go by. Jack, who bless his heart, only seemed to get stiffer at the sudden turn in atmosphere. And Grim, well...

"NYAAAA?!?! What do you mean you aren't signing the contract Prefect?!" The monster has settled on just beating on Yuu's legs. No claws, yet. "Henchhuman you can't just abandon the Great Grim to life as a dish rag!"

"I must say", Azul's voice has risen about Grim's yowls of betrayal. "You have surprised me. For someone so adamant about their desire to release their friends from my contracts, you give up on them incredibly quickly." He then turns to the cat look-alike crying at the Prefect's feet. "I do feel sorry for you, just a poor soul having to rely on a useless and cowardly housewarden."

"Oh, so you're backing out of the deal Ashengrotto?" At this point, for their safety, Yuu has lifted Grim by the scruff, holding the thrashing and cursing ball of furious fluff far away from the squishy parts of their body. Since the beginning of the negotiations, the Prefect has had a face of stone. The only change has been an upward tick of their eyebrows at Azul's assumption.

"Am I backing out of the deal?" The cracks in the housewarden's mask are starting to show, his steady voice making way for the indignation to shine through. "I'm not the one refusing to sign a contract. All the terms we have already verbally agreed on are now just on paper, and you are the one refusing to hold yourself accountable by signing the scroll."

"I never said I wouldn't sign a contract. I said I wouldn't sign this contract. Because these are not the terms we agreed on." They pull the contract back towards themselves, skimming intently. They drag one finger carefully down the scroll while blindly reaching for the discarded pen. They acknowledge the more put-together twin (Jade?) when he hums to gain their attention, pen held aloft in his open palm. A seemingly innocent gesture, but Yuu has figured out by now that this particular trio of Octavinelle students is exceptionally good at twisting an act of supplication into a threat.

Yuu isn't too worried about it though. They might not remember personal details, but the feeling of power that the negotiations and the business meeting has flushing through their system assures them that this is familiar territory.

"We agreed that should I fail to win our bet, you would earn the property rights to Ramshakle dorm. As you have just stated aloud, you plan to rope me, and assumedly the ghosts of Ramshakcle as well seeing as they also reside on the property, into your winnings should I lose. And you have intentionally left the wording of the contract vague so you could accomplish that."

Yuu takes a moment more to continue marking up a certain paragraph of the contract.

"... But wouldn't he be able to do that no matter how he worded it?" Jack inquires, rubbing his neck sheepishly at his lack of understanding. Grim, who had considerably calmed down while sitting in the beastman's lap, also considered his Prefect's words. "He'd own Ramshackle dorm and we're Ramshackle students so he would essentially become the new housewarden, right?" Grim finally asked, turning to the only human he truly trusted.

Ah, to be removed from the intricacies of politics and loopholes and double meanings.

"No, I only agreed to give him the rights to the property. Owning the rights to someone's property does not mean you would own that person. They're two completely separate things in the eyes of the law. Something Azul is well aware of."

"Honestly Prefect," Azul finally snapped, pushing his glasses up his nose to hide the irritation building in his eyes. "You're making a mountain out of a molehill." He waved his hand in the direction of the contract, leaning back against his desk in a clearly fake show of nonchalance. "If you intend to go through with the deal, then sign the contract. I'm only offering this opportunity once."

"I'll gladly sign the contract. Once you rewrite it."

Yuu shoved the newly annotated contract back into Azul's hands. He briefly glanced down, just enough to skim their notes, before snapping his eyes back up to meet the Prefect's steady stare. Before, their eyes had been steely and cold, unforgiving under his scrutiny. Now, he could see something warming the ice of their glare.

"Yuu I am a very busy man. The lounge is still open and I must be making my rounds soon. I do not have the time and I am very quickly losing the patience to attend to your-"

"A shame really." The Prefect broke their impromptu staring contest first, turning to gather their things. "Oh well, I'll tell Crowley that I tried. Come on Jack. Grim, I'll get all the soap out of your fur when you return home."

"So that's it," Azul called, the frustration and irritation and downright offense cracking his voice. "You're just going to wa-"

The Ramshackle Prefect whipped around in the doorway to Azul's extravagant office. One hand gripped the doorjamb in an attempt to curb and contain their shaking rage. The other hand moved their flyaway hair out of their face so everyone in the room could see the unbridled anger in their eyes. Eyes that had once been as cold as a frozen sea now swirled like a tropical storm, the ice in their eyes melted by the warmth of their offense.

"If you were hoping to make a deal with a naive and gullible idiot Azul Ashengrotto, I am not your intended audience. I know for a fact that it would take you less than a snap of your fingers to have your golden contract rewrite itself. I will not sit here and let you bully and gaslight me into signing a legally binding contract that is so obviously stacked against me. I can afford to walk out of this room with no deal made. The question left to be answered, is can you afford for me to?"

Azul Ashengrotto was, at the end of the day, desperate. At the end of the day, Azul was the person in this meeting who wanted something. And while they might not actively point it out, Yuu was well aware of the upper hand that provided them in these negotiations. So they showed no visible reaction to the snapping of the Octavinelle's housewarden's fingers, nor Floyd's giggles, nor Jade's hum of amusement as he once again held out a pen to Yuu. They instead reviewed the contract (mentally making a packing list when they noted the new wording surrounding the collateral clause), and finally, finally signed their name on the dotted line.

The temperature in the room had considerably chilled, the tension between the two housewarderns more than likely to blame. While the Ramshackle Prefect and Jack packed up their belongings, the sophomore considered his newest "client'. Azul was frustrated and annoyed with the gall of this, this otherwordly nobody to put up a fight about the details of his contract. Not to mention that they were spot on with their spotting of his loophole, and he's mourning the excellent free labor the prefect would've provided to his new location.

Yuu on the other hand was downright offended at how stupid the lilac-haired man thought them to be. They could also feel the pressure to come through starting to build. While their own servitude was no longer on the table, Yuu was justifiably worried about losing the place they've made into a home. They've spent months of time and resources on turning the derelict "fixer-upper" into a place they were proud to call their home. And maybe, and Yuu would deny this if asked, but just maybe they were sick and tired of how much everybody underestimates them.

It's that small, damaged bit of pride that stops Yuu at the doorway once again to say one last thing.

"I aced each and every one of the contract law classes I've ever taken. Try to swindle me again Ashengrotto, I dare you"

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland azul #rewrite au #I've taken like three contract law classes in post-secondary education #and azul's contract making scenes in book 3 just left me SCREAMING #twisted wonderland spoilers #Mirrors are Never to be Trusted

[youwearlavenderwell]

same anon! again!

we are just having a full on conversation at this point

WAIT RIGHT I FORGOT HE LITERALLY DECLARED HIS LOVE how do you go from that to father figure???? i am even more confused now as to what the logic was

tbh i think you're right on that one. I wouldn't call it bury your gays as a lot of people seem to think bc pretty much ever important character is queer anyways, but tbh i don't think killing off anyone who wasn't an antagonist would have worked

it's just not that type of show. or at least it wasn't, and i feel like some core part of the show from then on changed the second the toe scene/lucius being thrown overboard happened (although i don't think those scenes were bad). it was just a shift that re-established what can and cannot happen

ofmd felt like a safe show and the rules in season 1 were that people get hurt, things go wrong, but everyone gets their happy ending

and the promise of a happy ending and queer story that was about hope and healing meant a lot to queer audiences and i don't think DJ realized quite how much trust people had placed in that because again THAT'S WHAT THE SHOW LOGIC HAS TOLD US SO FAR :(

sorry for the (very) long ask <3

lmao i love it, keep it coming

and yeah idk i saw someone say that izzy reminds ed of his abusive father or something?? seems like a reach :/

that's beautifully said. i couldn't agree more. i really think it was just an oversight on DJ's part, because i believe he does have good intentions, he just completely misread the room. i'm mostly just confused, because as you said, the show's logic is a promise of hope, healing and second chances.

and the thing is, most of us grew up watching SuperWhoLock or shows with actual queer characters who get killed and so we're used to looking for the subtext in things and rooting for the repressed, self-hating guy with the internalized homophobia. it's been the norm, at least in my experience, to latch onto characters like that because they can be fun to play with and the inner turmoil and trauma is super relatable. and it's been so lovely seeing all openly gay, mostly happy, queer characters in ofmd but so many of us still gravitate towards the angst-filled repressed character and since this show has been so kind to us in so many ways, i think we all imagined we would get to see this tortured queer outcast break out of his toxic ways, get better, heal and in a more groundbreaking way, actually get to be contextually queer on screen. seeing that representation would have been the most healing experience of all because of all the times and all the other shows where they chose character death over growth.

i think this is so painful for so many of us because it rips open this old wound that many of us have as a queer audience. and it might not be the definition of bury your gays, but it does feel like bury the gays that took too long to come around/come out.

and never apologize for sending long messages <3 i (obviously) could talk about this for hours lol

#asks #izzy hands #david jenkins

[luckyqueenreign]

So… I’ve come to a realization regarding Alfie.

I think you mentioned that he might be thinking that MC is still into Suresh and that that was the reason why he would go and kiss Kat in that SNP challenge. And I definitely think that that is one of the reasons.

But consider this:

Alfie has turned into Suresh. The very person he never wanted to turn into.

Before Casa Amor, he focused heavily on making sure that MC knew that he is not like Suresh. That Suresh is just messing with her. Manipulating her. Playing her.

That he too got cheated on. That his ex cheated on him with a player. That he understands the pain and would never do something like that.

And then Alfie turned around at the slightest inconvenience (regardless of MC’s actions) and kissed Kat. Didn’t want to listen to a word MC said. Just more or less cheated. Messed with MC’s feelings. And with Finn’s too.

He has become someone he swore he never would be.

So, bringing back Meera?

A chance for a do-over. He messed with her too, played her just like he was playing MC. All loved-up, whispering promises of a future, before he dumped her without a warning, without any sign, and chose MC that first time around, throwing Meera away. All things he did to MC too afterwards. But Meera is giving him a second chance. A chance for a do-over. A chance to prove that he is not “Suresh”. And you better believe that he is taking that. Chooses “the right path”. (Hence also why he is so hyper focused on Meera, says she’s great, defends her etc.)

Seeking out MC? Trying to talk to her? Explaining his side of the Kat/Alfie terrace kiss again?

An attempt to clear his consciousness. He is not a player. Geezerdamnit. And he tries his best to prove it. Using sentences such as “I never would have disrespected you outside of a challenge” after coming back from Casa (Newsflash, Alfie: You already did before Casa) and “The thought of losing you really upsets me”. He has a heart. A sensitive side. He would never hurt anybody. (Note that Alfie didn’t like it when Suresh used pretty words and showed his sensitive side that way.)

Not apologizing to MC after Casa? For not having listened to her side of the story before kissing Kat? For bringing back Meera?

He is not willing to admit out loud and/or to himself that he screwed up massively. That he is mostly responsible for how things ended between him and MC. No. He is here for Meera now. He gets his do-over. His chance to prove that one can overcome things. That there this is a possibility for a second chance.

Kissing Kat?

Eh. He already kissed her before. MC accepted it and moved on (Day 1 kiss). So did Finn (kiss before Casa). And he chose Meera over MC who he chose over Kat (not that she really was an option for him), so Meera couldn’t care less about it (and we know that Meera – if she knows about the Kat/Alfie terrace kiss – probably finds it funny because it (might) hurt MC). So what’s one more kiss? Just one? It’s in a way a safe option.

So…

At this point, Alfie not only thinks MC is probably still into Suresh, but also that he doesn’t deserve MC to come back to him. Especially not with how much he stretched that one should not go back to a cheating ex, no matter how tempting it might be. So why would MC come back to him?

And he has Meera now. Has the chance to prove that MC was just a bump in the road of their relationship. That he is not a player. So why would he want MC to come back to him at this very moment?

(I truly hope that this long monologue doesn’t read like I’m bashing Alfie or anybody who likes him. That’s most definitely not my intention. We’re all sitting in our own clown boats now, floating straight towards fictional hell.)

ANON!!!! REVEAL URSELF THIS WAS SO GOOD!!! This was truly a masterpiece to read. And it makes total and complete sense...I do think Alfie's feelings for MC are stronger than the ones he has for Meera and seeing Finn's declaration right now is going shake him and Suresh to their core.

I replayed the entire season from start to finish yesterday & today and I realized something that I already knew but just became more glaringly obvious. Our two leading men have always been Suresh & Alfie and both of their routes have slowly mirrored each other just like you said. Finn was a non factor all season, even when MC is chasing him around and flirting with him, he's such a player and wants no parts. His main focus all season has been Kat & Arlo. So right now it would make absolutely no sense that the guy who's shown zero interest in us all season is now the one we end up with. No, he's the one meant to wake up the other two. Make them realize "hey if she's truly who you want you might lose her." Suresh knows he has no connection with Lulu, he knows he doesn't want Gabi, so why is he delaying getting back with MC? His pride, his ego. Same with Alfie.

#litg alfie #litg suresh #luckyqueenreignask

[angievores]

why Vegas likes pete? Or Vegas likes him very much but don't know how to express it.

It seems to me that Vegas is that rich teenager with family issues who bullies his crush to get his attention but just in 21+ category.

I am going to hurt you so you'll REMEMBER .Vegas desperately craves for Pete's attention. But what he learnt from his dad is when he hurted him he remembered it always. It was all his dad on his mind and the reason behind his every action. So he does same to pete so it will be him on Pete's mind. But pete don't give same reaction as what Vegas expected. Pete faces him bravely and strongly. This is what pisses off Vegas and at the same time makes him liking pete more. Vegas is a coward and helpless in his father's face but pete manages to come off as strong. The pathetic meowfioso wants to learn how pete does that and seeks Pete's protection (he always comes to him whenever his dad hurted him even before pete opened about his own trauma, he feels protected just in Pete's presence).

Now I do believe he liked pete even before that torture but it multiplied many times after observing pete during torture. That's why he freaked out on thinking that pete is dead. The way he said get up and laugh at me.(like he wanted pete to notice him at that point. You always taking care of others now will you console me too. Im hurt too.he knows pete is a good person who holds his values dear and is very strong so was seeking comfort and protection. But when found him almost dead,he freaks out like was about to lose something very precious.)Can't develop this deep feelings in some 3 days and this was before pete giving him verbal comfort. He was never subtle about his interest in pete(ep6,7, 9). He says what kind of punishment A GUY LIKE YOU deserve. A guy like you demonstrates in Vegas eyes pete was someone UNIQUE even before captured. He was angry that he was played by pete, especially pete whom he caught outside his secret room And let him go(maybe undersestimated him). He hates the honesty and loyalty pete holds for first family. Why? A mere bodyguard holding loyalty for their boss is something he should also like as a mafia boss or at least not care about.Because pete holds it towards FIRST family and he doesn't see pete as just mere bodyguard but someone equal or I say someone superior whom he can sabotage physically but not mentally. He says you are a good pet to first family . But says you are fool to believe in honesty or values. So then goes on doing everything to make pete his loyal pet in a very immature way(cruel too). When he acknowledge pete as his pet, he declared I feel good with you,now I won't be alone and you'll be with me. In the veil of playing and humiliating pete 1) he wants pete to give up on his values and his loyalty for first family 2) and then on pete can choose to be at his side. 3) Or he wants pete to have these values for Vegas like he desires pete because of them and kinda envies him.(a pathetic move I know but that's how he has learned to do things)All in all he wants to break pete and wants him to come to his level of darkness so that pete can understand him. Choosing Vegas means betraying main house. That's why Vegas wants to break his values., although subconsciously.

He tried his nice guy facade(hallway and temple) and flirted and then his father's method of torcher. None worked as pete doesn't express anything. Although pete gives up when Vegas brings up his grandma, (he says it two times like do what you want with me.Im no longer playing this game.He must have completely understood Vegas intentions by his touches before kan came in torcher dungeon.) But by that time Vegas was interested in much more than just Pete's body. He doesn't give any reaction to Pete's submission because now he has decided to keep pete with him(he felt so good for the first time) and doesn't care about his feelings enough.Can say that somewhere in his subconscious he wanted Pete's heart and his understanding for himself that pete swore to main family. Even though he was experiencing many emotions at that time, he never intended to kill pete .being with you is fun ( I like how I feel with you,the strength you show makes me feel safe,I want to be same with my father too) .neither did he asked him any questions regarding information. He focus was on spending time with pete(well in his language), no professional purposes.

He says to the bodyguard in safehouse that someone is there to keep him company (don't treat pete as a toy or plaything Or pet in this sentence but a person to keep him company in his loneliness). But becomes a jerk in front of pete. He continues his pathetic play but pete is unhinged. Do you think you can choose? Vegas clearly displays you are mine now and can't choose anything else.I'm not choosing. I'm just not eating. Pete isn't even entertaining his intentions. Like there is no question about him giving up on main family and choosing something else. He refuses to even look at what Vegas has to offer.And in desperation Vegas uses his father's last retort. Hurt him so that it will be only Vegas on Pete's mind. The anger was because why pete doesn't look at him.But Vegas himself doesn't like doing it this time, it's not fun if pete shows hurt. (He couldn't understand his feelings he enjoyed it before why not now, because what he likes is Pete's strength, the envy to be like pete not seeing him feeling hurt and definitely not seeing pete being scared of him) . So he sets him free, leave the belt deliberately and let him see the surrounding (see you are trapped with me here, you can't escape so just better submit to me and accept me)

When he found pete unconscious realisation hits him very hard. So much that he forgot about his own pain(well i think parent saying you aren't worthy of being my son when the child did everything for him is too much of pain).No more hurting, Vegas is now being honest and wants to take care of pete . Take it. Your wounds are inflamed. Why don't you let me die? (You are the one hurting me, you wanna see me in pain then why show this care. Just let me die from pain). You think it's poison? (You think I wanna hurt you or kill you) and that kiss (I'm sorry. I won't hurt you again. I actually like you and want to be with you). When he says you should suffer until Im satisfied. Like he thinks he agrees he is underseving and sucks and is hurting pete but the comfort he felt is so good that he wanna continue being with him. He also said tawan thanks for putting up with him. Like he thinks he makes everyone around him suffer. And he has accepted that fact about him. So don't even try to treat anyone he likes nicely. But this time hurting pete hurts him too.

Vegas is very bad with words and expression but his emotional system isn't set up to be good one. His dad is also same. You and macau aren't worthy of being my son. He couldn't say it looking at Vegas. He didn't mean any of it. He feels ashamed of himself to even look at his sons. He feels he is a big failure to be called their dad.

he is no longer angered by what pete did or maybe he never was (well pete is the main reason of his misery right now.they all are mafias,treachery is their job,Vegas was just doing his job and here first family also played unfair by sending spy. If the story is from Vegas pov,first family can also very well play good vilen). And when he actually takes care unconditionally. He got what he was craving for. Pete's understanding. What I wanna say is he grew very much attached to pete emotionally even before pete shared his trauma because of positivity pete carries And values he hold, making Vegas believe there is a way to face abuse like how pete handle it with vegas,the same values that stops pete from coming to him. And maybe it started way before like even in temple he was very much fascinated. Macau knows pete by name so maybe way before.The man was booked with porshe, tawan, ken so much ,won't spend some quality time with pete just to mess with a spy kinn sent. Maybe he really felt calm and peaceful in Pete's presence. But yes nothing justifies his actions.

#vegaspete #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegas x pete

[theevilthatismokke]

/ rambling about jshk chapter 97 spoilers under the cut/

Not at all surprised that Kou still wants (really badly) to be a strong exorcist like his brother. And it’s veeeery poignant that when he starts going through his battle shounen hero routine of ‘now I’m going to be stronger and prove to everyone my worth’, and loudly declares he’s going to exorcise whatever kaii is outside his house, it’s the moment he meets Mitsuba again. Very, very poignant.

Maybe it’s just me, but Kou jumping at the opportunity to exorcise a weak kaii is actually pretty funny, considering that, just a few chapters ago, he was apparently very intent on becoming a kaii himself. And that Nene was also willing to become one so Aoi wouldn’t die in her place.

Also, that comment about, ‘oh, if I need to, I guess I’ll exorcise Hanako’ is going come back to bite him in future chapters, isn’t it? Kou was already being pretty judge-y of his relationship with Tsukasa in the last chapter, and you can’t, YOU CANNOT, judge people and relationships in this manga without the narrative smacking you back with ironic shit. Like, refusing to understand or know something or someone on a deeper level has a tendency to… be punished by the narrative in JSHK. And now with Kou saying that he’ll ‘put Hanako down like a mad dog’ if necessary is… kinda asking for trouble.

Which might or might not mean that this meeting with Mitsuba will be a slap on the face for Kou.

But it’s something that been going on for while, no? This… underlying tension between Kou and Hanako only seems to grow with each chapter. Makes their ‘friendship’ more interesting to me tho, so I’m not really complaining.

It’s funny though, that Teru takes this decision as proof that Hanako is important to Kou, just like Kou’s wish to extend Nene’s lifespan. It’s not just that the comparison is consistent with the manga’s themes, but also that it’s Teru who makes this comment. Makes me wonder what Aidairo has in store for him…

And speaking of Teru…

This guy is a walking meme, and he’s so, so funny for it.

And you know, it was always obvious that his loyalty was towards his family, mostly Kou and Tiara, instead of the Minamoto or the ‘greater good’ as he puts it, but it’s nice having a confirmation.

… Teru and Hanako are so similar, it’s not even funny.

And maybe it’s just me, but I… kinda feel bad for Teru here? When thinking about him, he really feels like the… third-wheel of many dynamics. It’s more obvious with his interactions with Akane/Aoi, but even with Kou, it’s… kinda obvious that his brother’s affection doesn’t match his in… intensity, I guess? Kou saying he really likes Teru as well, after Teru remarks how important Hanako and Nene must have become to Kou, feels… lighter, I guess, in comparison to Teru’s admission that he only became a exorcist (and endured everything awful that comes with the job), for Kou and Tiara. Poor little sibcon Teru (lol), such a tragic, unrequited maiden.

Back to Kou though, he really doesn’t have much critical thought when it comes to… thinking about what being a Minamoto exorcist really means and what it entails, huh? Like, even after his brother talks multiple times about how much he had to sacrifice, Kou still wants very badly to be one.

But it makes sense. Kou seems to equal love to being needed and relied on. Aidairo like to play with battle shounen tropes through Kou and wanting to be strong and prove himself is kinda of a staple of the genre. But the thing with JSHK is that you just are loved, so this thing about… proving yourself as worthy isn’t really necessary. It makes me think how Nene, in the beginning of the manga, worked a lot to… gain feminine skills and “improve” herself for years before confessing to her crush, so she could be worthy of being loved. I think that… there’s something similar going on with Kou.

So maybe, Kou’s development could rely on a few things:

1) Realizing that his wish to be stronger isn’t as selfless as he thinks it is;

2) Upon accepting this selfishness, realizing that he doesn’t need to be a ‘proper Minamoto exorcist’ to be loved;

Kou… wants to be needed. He wants others to rely on him and to trust him. And that’s partially because of his self-esteem issues.

Buuut… it doesn’t seem like Kou likes to think of himself as selfish, or being capable of selfishness. At least, that’s the vibe I got from his reactions to the Red House ‘tempting’ him.

That he wants Mistuba to trust him is very significant. I often think how the Red House’s manifestation of Mitsuba essentially asked Kou to “think only about him and nothing else”. Kou always makes such a fuss about how he’s doing this for “everyone” (not really true, but that’s an analysis for another post) and Mitsuba had such an impact on him that makes me wonder if… Kou feels bad or something, when it comes to these selfish feelings, of wanting people to rely only on him, of wanting to focus and devoted himself to this one person. Who knows.

On a side note, didn’t the Red House’s illusion of Mitsuba say that he “missed Kou so much, he just went to meet him (despite the Severance)” or something? And now Mitsuba has apparently come to meet him…

hm.

I’m gonna be honest and I say that I don’t know if Mitsuba being out of the school means something. The only two mysteries/kaii we know for sure that can’t leave the school are Hanako and Sakura. And maybe I’m remembering wrong, but I think that Tsuchigomori can leave the school (bc he was making house visits as a teacher, I think). But that's probably an ability unique to him.

Who knows, maybe now that there are so little yorishiro left, the remaining seated mysteries can roam around. Maybe Mitsuba did something or simply just asked Tsukasa/Sakura/Natsuhiko/whoever for help. Maybe it's not Mitsuba. Again, who the heck knows.

Well, whatever’s going on with Mitsuba, should prove to be fun.

#a mokke's idle ramblings

[vhenanshiral]

On the Topic of Seiya Kou.

This is a Sailor Moon post rather than a Dragon Age post. Shocker, I know, but Sailor Moon is another one of my loves. This will focus on the 90s anime adaptation of the manga. So do not come at me with “but in the manga,” because the 90s adaptation and the manga were incredibly different in multiple ways. Seiya will be referred to as she/her because the male form was a disguise. That being said, any interpretation of Seiya’s gender is valid and I love them all! Anyway. I see a lot of shit talking about Seiya and it’s honestly ... super tiring. So many of the “negative” points against Seiya are misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misrepresented for the sake of making her look like a dumpster fire. 1. “Seiya is creepy towards Usagi and stalks her.” Except ... she doesn’t. They meet by accident numerous times, and in fact Usagi even seeks Seiya out. They develop a friendship, and it’s normal and natural for friends to seek each other out. Usagi and the girls actually, literally stalk the Three Lights more than once during the season. 2. “Seiya thinks Usagi is weak because she told Mamoru to take care of her when they left.” This honestly makes no sense to me. It is repeatedly shown that Seiya admires Usagi’s strength, both as Usagi and as Sailor Moon. It is natural to want the people you love to be protected, and that does not mean that you think they’re weak and incapable of protecting themselves. Seiya knew Usagi was capable and strong because she had seen her demonstrate these traits multiple times. Throughout the season, Seiya repeatedly lifts Usagi up with her confidence in her capabilities. This is even before she knows she is Sailor Moon. Let’s not forget that when Galaxia kills all of the Inners, they ask the Starlights to protect Sailor Moon, so saying that Seiya telling Mamoru to take care of her means she thinks she is weak ... that must mean everyone else thinks she is too, right? It’s absurd. 3. “Seiya can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, always hits on her, and is constantly pressuring her into a relationship.” It is true that Seiya repeatedly quips about “having a chance” with Usagi. It’s also true that Usagi repeatedly reminds Seiya that she has a boyfriend. But it isn’t true that Seiya repeatedly attempts to coerce her into a relationship. It also isn’t true that she does it all the time. While she shouldn’t have done it even more than once (when she was unaware of Usagi’s relationship status,) it’s obvious from the context that she isn’t being serious. Seiya repeatedly making quips is an issue, and while those kinds of situations can and often do mean someone is being a “Nice Guy,” a predator, an abuser, etc., we know from everything that we see that it is not the case with Seiya. Let’s take the “date,” for an example: Seiya throws it out there (literally, just time and place and walks off) and Usagi willingly shows up the next day and is even irritated that Seiya is late. Usagi is not forced or coerced into the date; she retains all of the power regarding whether or not she shows up. She would not have gone if she didn’t want to. Actually, let’s look at these instances of Seiya hitting/making a move on Usagi. - In the “date” episode, Usagi thinks that Seiya is going to make a move on her. Some suggest that Usagi thinks she is going to kiss her, but the language, Usagi’s expressions, and her reaction to the truth seem to imply that she thinks Seiya is suggesting something more intimate. - In the episode with the beach monster when Chibi Chibi opens up the door and pushes Seiya over on to Usagi, Usagi is the one who, again, assumes Seiya is up to No Good, despite it being a complete accident and innocent on Seiya’s part. - In the episode where Seiya spends the night at Usagi’s because she’s alone and Seiya very nearly confesses who she is to Usagi while they’re in her bedroom, it is Usagi who believes that Seiya is going to confess to having a crush on her. - Later in that same episode, when they are hiding in the cabinet and Seiya again thinks about confessing her true identity to her, it is Usagi who thinks Seiya is about to suggest something intimate. In fact, throughout the season, it is everyone from Usagi, to the other girls, to single-episode characters, to even Luna who think that Seiya is going to suggest or attempt illicit activities with Usagi, and not Seiya. It is all but explicitly stated that Usagi is attracted to Seiya. Not just because of the implications of her assumptions, but also because she is scolded over it. In fact, Rei tells her that she needs to sort her feelings out. Haruka and Michiru forbid her from seeing Seiya because she has Mamoru. She may not love Seiya the same way, but she is attracted to her and she does love her (and Usagi being attracted to other people is not a new thing.) Let’s look at the softball episode, because it’s ... pretty problematic and people often point to it as being one of the episodes that paint Seiya as some creepy stalker who can’t just take a hint and tells everyone that Usagi is her girlfriend. It is Rei who thinks that Seiya training Usagi in softball is inappropriate (let’s remember that it is Ami who thinks that something illicit is going on with Seiya and Usagi in the bodyguard episode...) because Mamoru is Usagi’s boyfriend, not Seiya. It is Sonoko who insists that Seiya’s “relationship” with Usagi isn’t acceptable, and it is her that places the bet that if Seiya’s team loses, she’s not to associate with Usagi anymore. Seiya agrees because she’s competitive, hates to lose, has confidence in herself and Usagi, and knows that Sonoko is wrong. When Usagi tries to interject about the actual nature of their relationship (that they’re not dating,) it’s the girls who shush her because they’re expecting Seiya’s team to lose and that will give them the opportunity to make Seiya feel better. I want to touch on the “Seiya knows Sonoko is wrong” part. I think what a lot of people don’t think about is that when Sonoko placed this bet and openly stated her disapproval of Seiya spending time with Usagi, Sonoko was attacking Usagi’s worth as a person. She was openly saying that Usagi wasn’t good enough to be hanging out with Seiya in any capacity. Seiya took issue with this because she obviously believes and knows differently. She values Usagi as a person. Who is Sonoko to decide who is and isn’t good enough to spend time with her? Seiya is not approaching the situation with entirely selfish motives, unlike the girls who fed into the Seiya/Usagi romance for the hopeful eventuality of them being able to comfort Seiya after a loss when she’ll be forced to stop hanging out with Usagi. She uses this situation to help bolster Usagi’s confidence in herself. That doesn’t change the fact that the bet is stupid to begin with, but it is what it is. Oh, additionally ... Seiya doesn’t tell the school that she and Usagi are dating. Them dating is an assumption that Seiya simply doesn’t correct. It’s worth noting that if she did correct that assumption, it would feed into Sonoko’s declaration that Usagi isn’t good enough to be with Seiya. 4. “Seiya tried to make the rooftop scene about herself and used it as a way to try to take Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life.” This whole entire scene is consistently misinterpreted and has all of the context ripped from it, because that is not what that scene is. No, it 100% was not the best time for Seiya to ask that question (and no, it is not “can I take his place?” that she says,) but people tend to forget that Usagi is not the only vulnerable person in this scene and it isn’t just about her. It is Seiya who triggers Usagi’s emotional breakdown on accident, and in these moments she is watching the person she loves crumble into pieces. The rooftop scene is about both of them and the context makes that clear. Up until this point, the only person who knew that Mamoru wasn’t keeping in contact with Usagi was Seiya. None of the girls knew, none of them. Imagine the amount of trust Usagi had to have in Seiya in order to share that incredibly sensitive information with her and with no one else, not even her closest friends. Usagi had told Seiya a whole 13 episodes before this one, and since finding out Seiya tried her best to make Usagi happy and to keep her mind busy. It isn’t until a few episodes after this that everyone including Seiya finds out that Mamoru is dead. So Seiya spends all of this time believing that Mamoru ditched Usagi when he moved overseas and that he’s a horrible boyfriend who obviously doesn’t care about Usagi. This is naturally hurtful to Seiya, who grows to genuinely like and love Usagi through the season. She cares for her and doesn’t want to see her in pain, which is why she does her best to help Usagi feel less alone. There is no point in the season where Seiya’s intentions are to maliciously shove herself into Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life. She has no idea who Tuxedo Mask is. She had no idea that throwing the red rose - her own personal trademark - was going to trigger such an emotional response from Usagi. So here they both are on this rooftop in the middle of the pouring rain. Usagi’s breaking down over how alone she feels, and Seiya’s suddenly faced with the realization that not only did she cause this breakdown, everything she had been trying to do to help her wasn’t working and she failed again. She couldn’t save her system/planets, 99.9% of her people are literally dead because she wasn’t strong enough to save them, and she and the other two members of her team had no idea where their princess was or even if she was okay until the episode before this one. Immediately after the destruction of everything they knew, the Starlights had to flee to an alien planet with alien people, disguise themselves, and pander to a bunch of complete strangers that salivated over, stalked, and harassed them, all while searching for their princess  and fighting the minions of the person who ctrl+a ctrl+x’ed their home system. She had no time to process any of the unimaginable loss and failure she had suffered through. When people talk about the rooftop scene and about how Seiya “makes it about herself,” this is everything they’re forgetting. When Seiya is asking Usagi if she isn’t good enough, it isn’t Seiya trying to weasel her way in, it’s Seiya both coping with her own numerous losses and trying to remind Usagi that she’s there for her. In the end, Seiya is the one that Usagi credits with being able to get herself through everything she was dealing with.

#sailor moon #sailor star fighter #eternal sailor moon #seiya x usagi #seiya/usagi #seiusa #bssm #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #90s sailor moon #pretty soldier sailor moon #usagi tsukino #tsukino usagi #seiya kou #kou seiya #sailor stars #sailor starlights

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE ELEVEN || NARROW-MINDED

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + nanami kento + ieiri shoko (mention of itadori yuji + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru + roymen sukuna + zenin maki + inumaki toge + panda + mahito) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 12 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.0k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : idle transfiguration

↳ next episode : to you, someday

↳ barista’s notes : welcome nanamin kento to the series everyone ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ he’s finally in the series and i am so excited to write about him again since it has been a while ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ i hope you enjoy today’s episode and for the fushiguro x y/n shippers, enjoy this little interaction between them...

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“No reason, just worried about you,” Fushiguro mentioned, hiding his real intention of why he questioned your wellbeing, as continued to look at what was in front of him to avoid making eye contact with you since he could feel your eyes peering at him with curiosity filling them.

Sighing once again, you slap the back of his head causing him to groan since you put more strength than you intended to. “You shouldn’t worry about me Fushiguro, be selfish,” you commented before walking faster to be ahead of him, leaving him confused about what you had just mentioned to him.

“Be selfish?” Fushiguro muttered in confusion leading you to turn back to look over your shoulder before smiling at him.

“You were going to take me there right?” you asked, as you halted your movement causing the shikigami user to finally catch up to you while you had a lingering question in the back of your mind.

‘What was that dream?’

                                              ꕥ

“Didn’t I say you can head back to the track field, we’re literally a few steps away?” you asked, as you stood in front of the metal door leading inside to the infirmary while looking at your classmate with a fed-up look since he wasn’t listening to you once again.

“I said, I was going to take you here and now I’m going to wait for you here,” Fushiguro mentioned as he processed to lean against the wall, causing you to let out a sigh of frustration since you didn’t have the slightest clue on his sudden behaviour of him keeping an eye on you.

“If you’re still worried about my wellbeing, I’m okay Fushiguro,” you voice out trying to ease his worries, before turning your head to look at the door in front of you as you then entered the infirmary room the second the metal door slid open. “Thank you for waiting for me,” you quietly muttered to the shikigami sorcerer as the entrance that was going to block you both, slowly began to close leaving him on the other side, no knowing what was going on inside of where you were now.

Once you had entered the room, you quickly noticed that Ieiri was there twirling a strand of her brown lock with her ibex finger as she greeted you with a small smile, while another person - who you assumed was another sorcerer - who was beside her sitting on the metal bench while holding the side of his hip to lessen the blood loss from his wound.

From what you could observe, the male that was currently injured right now had bright blonde locks, which was strange since it was rare or uncommon for a Japanese person to have naturally light hair (since it didn’t seem dyed) causing you to assume the man had some European heritage. He also seemed to be on the older side compared to Gojo since he had somewhat of a more mature look to the strongest sorcerer that you had come to know but his outfit consisted of a blue dress-shirt with beige suit trousers as well as the professional dress shoes - what seemed to be missing was a blazer to complete the outfit.

“So you're the daughter that Gojo has been talking about lately,” the man mentioned, causing you to tilt your head in confusion since you had no idea who the man was, but he seemed to know who you were.

“Pardon?” you questioned politely since you were still in a state of perplexion, causing your mentor to giggle slightly before informing you that your teacher has been running around announcing his daughter after “keeping it a secret for 5 years” leading you to turn your head to the side and sigh once again in annoyance since you weren’t surprised that the playful sorcerer was parading your name around the facility but still it seemed a little creepy to you - just imagine him skipping around while telling everyone about you just seemed off...weirdly off.

‘What a drag…’

“Ah! I’ll heal you now since we don’t want to leave the wound open any longer,” you mentioned, as you made your way towards the sorcerer before placing your hands just above his wound while concentrating to allow your negative cursed energy to become positive which became easier over time as you kept practising leading Ieiri to be surprised on how much you had improved for the past few weeks.

“Gojo Y/N correct? I’m Nanami Kento, I would bow to be polite but that’s a bit difficult to do right now,” Nanami introduced himself, causing you to smile slightly before greeting him back.

‘So this is Nanami Kento? Shoko-san wasn’t kidding when she said he was a grade one, he does seem to be extremely skilled’

“Y/N, your theory was right about the technique used on those bodies, Kento mentioned that the technique reshapes the soul rather than the body of what we first thought,” Ieiri revealed to you, leading you to look up at the doctor with widen eyes as you hands managed to continue the healing process of Nanami’s wounds.

“Is there any way to stop the transfiguration of any sorts? Is there some kind of weakness to it?” you questioned, as you turned to the grade one sorcerer, leading him to nod as he turned to look at you.

“The use of cursed energy to protect your body is one way, but it will still cause some damage, besides that’s just a temporary solution since if we get hit more by this special grade curse, then that’s when our soul gets hit no matter how much cursed energy you put to protect yourself,” Nanami explained which lead you to look at him with a deadpan expression before you looked down to think of a solution to avoid any more casualties from this curse.

‘The only thing I can think of is Ryomen Sukuna...but Itadori is dead and there is no way that Sukuna can be inhibiting his body now anyways…my cursed spell could be a way to protect myself if it comes to the day I have to face him’

“Do you have a description of what the curse looked like?” you asked curiously since you didn’t know if you were even allowed to have any information on his mission - but you knew you had a chance since you and Ieiri examined the transfigured bodies from Kinema Cinema.

“The curse was human looking like, had patchwork around his face like it he was sewed together, he can transfigure is own body to how he likes to give him an advantage in battle,” Nanami explained leading a shiver to go up to your spine as you didn’t expect the curse’s description to be so human-like after Sukuna since you were completely used to other curses you had faced in the past, looking like what people feared - like the ocean animals, mountains, volcanos or even nature itself.

Steadily, you moved your hands away before asking Nanami to lift his shirt so you could examine his wound leading Ieiri to observe as well since she needed to make sure that your technique had been perfected as well as to make sure his wound was healed properly.

“Good job, I think you have nearly perfected it,” the doctor stated with a smile, leading you to turn to her with a bright smile on your face as you were delighted to have her approval leading her to mention that she will report your progress to Gojo since he wanted to know how you were doing with your training.

“You don’t call Gojo your father?” Nanami questioned since he had come to know from his senior that you have been his daughter for approximately five years now leading him to question why you didn’t call him as his parental figure position.

“I refuse,” you looked at him with a straight face as a slight hint of a ‘fed-up’ tone could be heard in your speech, leading Nanami to internally find the comment funny.

“Thank you for the treatment, but I must quickly head off to resume work,” Nanami declared as he slowly got up from his seat causing him to be surprised at how much your technique had actually repaired not only his wound by somewhat his whole body as well leaning him to peer at you for a second before walking out to head whatever he needed to be.

“Y/N, you can go now, if I need you, I’ll call you next time okay?” Ieiri stated to you, leading you to nod your head before announcing your departure as you processed to stand in front of the metal door, waiting for it to open as you then walked across the gap once it revealed the other side to you.

“You’re done?” someone asked, causing you to look to the side to notice that Fushiguro was still leading against the wall that he was waiting before you had entered into the infirmary to which you were surprised about since you thought he didn’t have the patience to even wait for you.

“You’re still here? Did you wait long?” you questioned, as you both began to walk back to the track field where Kugisaki and the second-years were waiting for you.

“Not really, it was actually quicker than I thought it was going to be,” Fushiguro mentioned causing you to nod along and you both became silent as you both didn’t know what else to say to each other.

However, that didn’t really bother you right now, what was bothering you was what happened before you even came here.

‘Why? Why was I dreaming that in the first place?’ you thought, as you looked down to the ground as if the answer was there for you to collect. However, you knew you would never get the answer if you didn’t make the effort to find it yourself, yet you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to know the meaning behind it. You just wanted to forget everything that happened in that dream. 

‘There’s no point in holding on to it, it would never happen’

“You okay?” Fushiguro asked, causing you to snap out of your thoughts before realising the shikigami user was no longer beside you but rather in front of you with a stern look on his face as if he was confronting you for somewhat giving him a white-lie.

‘He’s not going to let that question go huh?’

“I’m okay Fushiguro, how many times I got to answer,” you commented before moving to the side to continue walking, only for the erratic-haired sorcerer to block your pathway once again leading a flame of annoyance to be lit up in your stomach. “What’s wrong?” you asked, as you looked up to meet him eye to eye, only to discover a worried look on his face.

“There’s something bothering you,” Fushiguro muttered causing you to scoff internally before moving to the other side again, only for him to block you once again. 

“Fushiguro, I’m fine, it was just something silly that happened with Gojo-sensei that annoyed me, I’m genuinely fine,” you answered before suddenly grabbing his wrist - catching him by surprise - to pull him towards the direction needed to go back to the track field for training, as you didn’t want a full-blown argument happening between you and him. Also, you weren’t bothered to shout at him since you were still trying to comprehend what you had just experienced.

However, before you could pull Fushiguro further to where you both needed to be, you felt him halt his movement causing you to stagger back slightly since it was really unexpected. Turning your head, you looked at the sorcerer with slight confusion displayed on your face before noticing a hand coming towards you as a small flick made a light impact on your forehead leaving you frozen in shock.

“You can rely on me anytime L/N,” Fushiguro mentioned to you nonchalantly as he retreated his hand back.

“Dear, rely on me a bit more, I’ll always be here with you and sorry for flicking your forehead, does it hurt?” 

“You drag, don’t copy me!” you argued, before slapping his forehead causing him to groan in pain while you continued to pull him along to get back to training.

‘I want to, but I don’t want to be lied to again Fushiguro…’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jjk imagines #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #fushiguro megumi #kugisaki nobara #gojo satoru #zenin maki #inumaki to/ge #jujutsu kaisen panda #jjk panda #nanami kento #ieiri shoko #fushiguro megumi imagines #kugisaki nobara imagines #gojo satoru imagines #zenin maki imagines #inumaki to/ge imagines #nanami kento imagines #ieiri shoko imagines #fushiguro megumi x reader #kugisaki nobara x reader #gojo satoru x reader #zenin maki x reader #inumaki to/ge x reader #nanami kento x reader

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination. No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 14/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Сhapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Levi expected screams or cursing. He expected anger, violence. At the very least, he expected to receive a punch or a kick. What he got from Kenny instead was a long and weary sigh, the kind that misbehaved children get.

"Have you lost your mind?” he asked, shocked, exasperated and disappointed all at once. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Levi? Why would even come to me with an offer as ridiculous as that?"

"Kenny," Levi was prepared for the opposition, so he braced himself and stood his ground, not shriveling before his uncle. He had a strong argument, he had logic and practicality on his side. All he needed to do was to make Kenny see that he was right. "Hange had helped us. And now, she has nowhere else to go. We need to—"

"We need to?" Kenny cut him off with a loud laugh. "There is no we in this scenario, Levi. I don't want to help the damned cop. And I don't understand why you have a different opinion. Is she—" he narrowed his eyes, staring Levi up and down with a nasty smirk on his face. "That good of a fuck? Or are you that desperate to get laid?"

"Shut your mouth," Levi spat out, beyond disgusted and offended that Kenny would even think—

He and Hange, that was not what they were about. Things between them were far deeper, more complicated. There was something - underneath the twists in their shared history, underneath bickering and watching over each other's back, underneath the fucking - there was something else.

Something that Levi couldn't name, even though it had almost tumbled from his lips last night, before they shared a kiss. Something that he felt but couldn't recognize, wasn't taught how to.

Something that he thought of again, this morning, when he saw Hange on the phone with someone, and didn't have a single ounce of distrust towards her.

Something that he thought was lost forever, along with his mother.

Something that Kenny was now tarnishing, with his stupid taunts and mockery.

"That's not your business, old man," Levi said, turning his back to Kenny. "And don't poke your nose into that."

"Oh?" Kenny made sound, resembling a cooing one. He put a hand onto Levi's shoulder, leaning closer. "You've gone all soft, Levi? All sentimental, mushy and stupid? Is that it? Do you think that you're in love?"

They stayed silent, watching each other intently, and - warily. Then, Levi had enough of it.

"I don't—" whether he thought of it or not, it wasn't Kenny's business. And Levi was done with tolerating his behavior. He wasn’t a little brat who didn’t know better anymore. So he pushed Kenny back, for the first time in years, he pushed back. And he was just as surprised by his outburst as was his uncle.

"Hange stays with us," he declared definitively. "And you have no say in it."

Without another word, he exited the room, leaving Kenny to brood in silence and alone.

___

Fuck, Hange was so fucked. And not in the way she enjoyed or preferred.

With a thousand worries wrecking through her brain at once and events of this morning playing mercilessly on repeat, she sat in the kitchen, which had seen far better days, with two girls, who were whispering amongst each other, too quietly for Hange to catch it, and waited for Levi to finish talking with his uncle. And judging by the sounds coming from another room, the conversation definitely wasn’t going in the direction Levi was hoping for.

Well, whatever. Her name was likely trudged through the mud already by her fellow colleagues, and there was nowhere she could hide at. Perhaps, it was for the best that Levi’s uncle was an annoying prick who didn’t want to have business with her.

Apparently, whenever she went, trouble followed.

A delighted giggle had interrupted Hange's quiet suffering. She looked up, remembering that right, she wasn't alone. Historia and Ymir were right next to her.

"So," with a hand underneath her chin, Ymir seized Hange up down, eyebrow cocked and smirk at the ready. "How did the night go? Hopefully, the shorty really gave it to you fast and rough?"

"Ymir!" Historia scolded with a strict expression. Even so, Hange could see the barely hidden lines of laughter in the corners of her lips. "You can't ask people questions like that!"

"Why not?" Ymir shrugged. "Clearly, we're here for a while and clearly, all of us need something else to occupy our minds with. So, I repeat my question - how was midget?"

"How should I know?" Hange huffed, feigning offence. "Levi and I had never—"

"We saw you enter the room together." Ymir pointed out.

"And," with a grin that was too alike to her girlfriend's, Historia added, "We heard a lot. The walls are thin."

Fuck, the two girls got her. But, oh well, spending a glorious night with a handsome man? Not the worst crime she was accused of.

"It was perfect," she revealed, surprised by how true the statement actually was. It was perfect. But would they get a chance at having a second time? Or would Levi's dick of an uncle throw Hange out of the house?

They were yet to see.

"Levi is a very attentive lover, and what he lacks in height, he definitely doesn't lack in—"

"No!" Historia and Ymir screamed at the same time. Both girls were shaking their heads, equally horrified expressions appearing on their faces.

"That's not what I need to know!" Historia exclaimed.

"I'm pretty sure that this knowledge will fucking kill me," Ymir confessed, still looking sour as a lemon.

"But we're glad for you!" Historia smiled, and not for the first time Hange marveled at how a nice and cute girl like her could have a fate as terrifying as this one. Life surely could be a bitch sometimes. "Ymir told me there were some tensions..."

"Some tensions?" Ymir scoffed. "The air around them reeked of sexual frustration."

"Hey, now, now," and here Hange was, trying to embarrass those girls. Instead, she was the one sporting red cheeks right now. "Surely, it wasn't that bad. I didn't make up my mind about Levi until last night."

"Maybe, your mind wasn't made up, but your—"

"Ymir!" Historia chided again, her lips forming an adorable pout.

Meanwhile, Hange was at her limit. She didn't know that a person could ever feel as embarrassed as she did right now. It felt like her whole face was on fire, and she would very much prefer to escape this conversation as fast as humanly possible.

Luckily, Hange's wish was granted to her, sooner than she had anticipated. But it wasn't yet the end of her misfortunes.

___

The sight of Hange, Historia and Ymir sitting in the kitchen of his childhood house was not surprising. After all - Levi had left them there right before he went to Kenny and told him the merry news of Hange's staying with us, whether you fucking like it or not. No, the sight itself was not surprising.

Some of the details - Ymir's insufferable smirk, for example, was not surprising either. But other things - Historia's nearly identical expression of mischief, Hange's beet red face - that wasn't what Levi had expected at all.

It was shocking, even. And more surprises seemed to come his way.

"You're staying with us," was all he could utter, before he found himself in a suffocating hug that sent his heartbeat wild.

"I never thought that teenagers can be that awful," Hange whispered in his ear, still practically hanging off him. Not that Levi minded, the extra close contact was... pleasant, to say the least. "I'm so grateful you're here."

It wasn't what the conversation was about, it wasn't their thing, it wasn't even Levi's intention to do this and say this out loud, but he pressed his lips to Hange's shoulder, and replied with, "I'm happy you're here as well."

It wasn't like him, he wasn't sappy and definitely not affectionate, but Hange smiled at his action. And Levi felt a wave of warmth and something far more complicated and dangerous surge through him.

Hange. Despite it all, oh how he was grateful that life threw the two of them together. Who else could make him feel so at ease?

But good things never lasted in his life.

First interruption of the bliss came from Ymir, who scrunched up her freckled nose and nearly gagging, said, "Please, PDA between two old people is not something I wish to witness."

Levi let it slide, this time, with Hange in his arms, even Ymir wasn't so annoying, and, besides, he expected nothing else from the insolent girl.

But the second interruption, the one that came from Kenny, who entered the room quietly, but attracted everyone’s attention all the same, made Levi freeze and take an involuntary step back from Hange.

He missed her warmth immediately, but didn’t dare to return to the tight circle of her arms. No matter what he was personally feeling, he knew that, ultimately, it was the right choice.

Next, Kenny raised his point finger, aiming it at Hange. A simple and small gesture made Levi tense, lump forming in his throat. "You, cop," he said, gesturing to the front door of the house, "Are going outside with me. We need to have a conversation. A real one, at last."

"Hange," without thinking, Levi grabbed her sleeve. A mass of question flew through his head - what was he doing? Why was he doing it? Between Hange and his own uncle, shouldn't the choice be obvious? It wasn't, at least, not right now, when Hange was staring at him like that - with mouth open and gaze unsure. He made a point of wrapping his fingers around her thin wrist, to give it a firm squeeze. "If the old man starts to behave, just shout."

Hange nodded, and— lifted her lips in a smile. It wasn’t as bright or as confident, as it usually was. But for now, it was enough. It had to be.

Levi let her go.

Hange hurried after Kenny. Levi watched the two of them go, his heart heavy.

___

Hange followed Kenny, feeling out of her depth, moving as though she was in daze. The events of this day were so surreal, she felt like she was in a dream.

And sitting down on the porch with Levi's uncle was the thing she couldn't have predicted, even after all of those crazy events.

"I don't like you," Kenny began without any kind of preamble, and Hange couldn't resist a sarcastic snort. That certainly wasn't a grand revelation. "And I don't trust you. But apparently, my nephew has a different opinion. Perhaps, I ought to listen to him. He's not a little stupid runt, after all."

Silence fell over them, as Hange struggled to find her voice. What could possibly she reply to that? Say that Levi was right and she was trustworthy? Or call the man sitting next to her an idiot for not having faith in his nephew?

There were many things she could say to Kenny Ackerman, most of them spiteful, some of them created by frustration and hatred she felt towards him during all these years she had tried to capture him. But another argument would solve nothing, and would serve to aggravate Kenny even more.

If that was possible, that is.

And, considering her still very much precarious position, more confrontations were not something Hange was actively seeking.

The silence around them was broken, and she was forced out of her thoughts when a pack of cigarettes appeared beneath her nose.

Hange stared at it, dumbfounded.

Kenny clicked his tongue in annoyance, a sound so similar to the one's Levi made every time something irritated him that Hange had to turn her head around just to make sure that Levi wasn't standing next to them.

He wasn't. Of course, why would he? He stayed inside the house, with Historia and Ymir. Perhaps, they were bombarding him with awkward questions right at this moment. Hange had to bite back a smile as she tried to picture that particular scene.

Her amusement was cut short, however, when the same pack of cigarettes was shaken in front of her once more.

"Do you smoke?"

"I don't. I tried once," Hange nearly gasped as she realized that this happened recently, just two days ago. She felt like a whole lifetime passed since she got drunk and embarrassed herself in front of Levi. Ah, back then – only two days ago – life was so much simpler. "I didn't like it."

"Your loss," Kenny shrugged, putting a cigarette to his lips and lightening it up.

"It's your loss," Hange corrected. "Of health and lifespan."

"Stress will kill you just as fast. At least, this helps me to relax."

"Work used to help me relax," Hange said, letting out a wishful sigh. "Until I started investigating your damn case."

"Well," Kenny grinned, puffing smoke right in her face. "Sorry that we are so good at doing our job and you're so bad at doing yours."

Hange gritted her teeth, fighting her whole being to stop herself from punching the annoying dick. “I almost got you," she hissed, despite her best attempts at acting civil.

"And I almost killed you. I guess that makes us even."

A laugh escaped her lips, surprising her as much as it did Kenny. God, there was so much fucked up shit between the two of them. And now they had to work together. Life surely had a knack for ironies.

Kenny seemed to be of the same opinion, if his dry chuckle was anything to go by. "Never thought I'd be sharing a cigarette with my nephew's sweetheart. I was starting to think that I would die by the time Levi catches feelings for something rather than his favorite broom."

"We're not sharing a cigarette," Hange pointed out, before Kenny's words had caught up with her. As they did, she bristled, fighting back a wave of mortification that threatened to overwhelm her.

Kenny was wrong, he was so fucking wrong. There were no feelings, and even if there were, she wasn't Levi's— god, she wasn't Levi's sweetheart.

Turning her face away from Ackerman's all too knowing eyes, Hange grunted, "And I've never thought that I'd be talking with you without metal bars separating us."

"Life is full of surprises, isn't it sometimes?" Kenny murmured, closed his eyes in pleasure, puffing another cloud of smoke.

Hange watched him, curious. He was so unlike Levi, so different, and yet at the same time, there were enough similarities between them - perhaps, they were not overly obvious, but for Hange's keen eyes that watched Levi oh so intently, they were bright and clear.

She thought about commenting on it, in an attempt to get back for all the teasing she had suffered, but just as she opened her mouth, Kenny spoke.

"Now, let's stop with the pleasantries. We need to talk business."

Startled, Hange could only nod in agreement, all the while wondering what kind of business could she and Kenny have.

"So," he started, flicking the finished cigarette into the trashcan and lightening up another one - this time with far less amount of joy on his face. "Is it true that Reiss set you up?"

"Yeah," just before she took her glasses off and covered her eyes with a palm, Hange took a glance at the sky - the sun was already high, it was almost noon. She couldn't stop herself from sighing in despair. "I think that by now every policeman in the city is looking for me."

"Someone must have warned you," Kenny theorized in between exhaling white curls of smoke. "Why didn't they help you?"

"Help me? How?"

Kenny rolled his eyes, showing Hange another expression that was overly familiar to her. "I know you aren't that stupid. And I also know what every dirty cop does to escape a prison sentence."

Hange lifted her head from the miserable position, sending Levi's uncle a mean look. "I'm not a dirty cop."

"But you've been accused of being one," Kenny parried. "You could have taken the easiest way out and straight up lie, I’m sure your colleagues wouldn’t mind supporting you in this. So why are you still here, asking for a place to hide?"

Did Kenny really not understand? Or was it another attempt at making her feel as uncomfortable and exposed as it was possible?

"You know what I would have needed to do in order to clean my name."

Who she would have had to sacrifice.

Kenny merely hummed. "Yes, and why didn't you?"

Blunt nails dug into the skin of her arms, as Hange kept herself from laughing— or crying her eyes out. "I couldn't do it," she said, and the almost sob almost escaped her. Hange gritted her teeth to prevent it from seeing the light of day. "Not to Levi."

"Shit," Kenny breathed out. "You're either obscenely stupid, stupidly loyal or in love with my nephew. Honestly, I don't know which option is worse."

Hange didn't know as well. Perhaps, she possessed all three sins at once. If so, it'd be best to keep this information hidden from Kenny.

Deeming their conversation to be over, Hange attempted to stand up. Kenny's heavy hand stopped her.

"Oi," he frowned. "Where the fuck are you going? I didn't ask you to come with me to talk about feelings, cop."

Well, it made sense. And the way Kenny spat out word feeling sas though it had personally offended him, shat in his coffee and trudged him through the mud, gave Hange a hint about origins of Levi's disgust to everything involving emotions.

But now, another question formed in Hange's mind - just what exactly Kenny wanted to talk about?

Luckily, the answer arrived almost immediately.

Kenny took another - the last one - drag out of the cigarette, put it out, smashing the butt with the sole of his shoe, and turned to face Hange, his expression more serious than she had ever seen, eerily similar to the one Levi was constantly wearing.

"We need to discuss the plan."

"The plan as in—"

"As in the plan that would allow us to fuck Reiss back."

"Oh, right." Hange nodded, feeling a little dumb - a sensation so very unfamiliar to her. What made it worse was the confusion - why had Kenny decided to discuss it with her, of all people? And how much could she trust him anyway? Maybe, it was a trick of his? Or another attempt at humiliating her?

Nevertheless, Hange kept her silence, quelled her worry and listened intently.

"So?" she put the glasses back in place and narrowed her eyes, boring them into Kenny. "How do you propose we go around stealing the super secret, super hidden notebook from Reiss?"

Kenny ignored her sarcasm, with an ease of a person, who had to constantly deal with Levi's sharp tongue. "Without much hustle."

"You already have the plan?"

"Obviously."

"And I'm the first one you want to discuss it with?"

Kenny considered her - silently and carefully. "Levi said you're smart."

It was all Hange could do to stop herself from snorting out loud. Obviously, it was bullshit. Even if Levi had said it (what else he had told his uncle about her?), why in the world would Kenny care? Did a man who spent his entire life stealing and tricking people lack confidence? Enough so that he needed cop's input?

"And since I've decided to start trusting the little runt, I'll trust you as well," Kenny's gaze was sharp, noting the smallest of her movements. Under it, Hange felt on edge, drawing an unfavorable comparison between her and a trapped butterfly that was being dissected by a cruel scientist. But then Kenny huffed, and the tense atmosphere disappeared. He continued, his voice much more relaxed, "Now listen, obviously you can't go outside and show your face around. Neither can our little miss Reiss. That's why Levi and I will go."

"Go?" her eyebrows rose. "Where?"

Although, the suspicions had already begun to swim inside her head. If Kenny wanted to take an action against Reiss, if he wanted to defeat him— there was only one way to do it right. And that meant that Kenny was going to meet with—

"Frieda," Kenny smiled, a sharp and dangerous kind of smile. "You're right in your assumptions. She's a key to victory. For almost everyone involved."

"Almost?" again, Hange was at loss. What he did mean by that omission?

"Almost," Kenny nodded, resolutely. "But before I tell you more, you must promise me something."

Promise? Did the great Kenny Ackerman actually say that? To her? Hange almost wasn't sure if she had heard it right

"Keep Levi safe, no matter what happens. You're the only one I can entrust with this task."

"Why?" the question tumbled from her lips, before she could stop herself. Truthfully, Hange didn't even know what she was actually asking. Why did she have to keep Levi safe? How? Or why she was the only one Kenny trusted with his nephew's wellbeing?

Kenny didn't give her an answer - not a straight one, at least.

"I think I’m spending too much time in this house," he sighed wistfully - like an old and tired man. His eyes held a faraway look, and for a moment, it seemed like a completely different person was sitting next to her. "There is a reason I've never sold it, why Levi and I had left it behind. It's haunted, this house, sometimes it seems like I can almost hear the quiet voice of my sis," oh right, Hange mournfully realized, Kenny was talking about Levi's mother. Apparently, Levi wasn't the only who had yet to deal with this loss. "And when I lie at night, I can almost hear Kuchel yapping at me for not keeping her brat out of the trouble. She begged me to look after her boy, and look how that turned out for Levi. Or, maybe," he shook his head, seemingly ashamed and surprised by his own sentimentality. "Maybe, I talk too much to Frieda, and her obsession with protecting her little sister got to me, reminded me of my youth."

At last, it dawned on Hange.

Frieda, Kenny's guilt, his need to protect Levi... it all made sense now. At least, partially.

"You think he is going to do something stupid." She stated, not questioned. It was obvious, even if Hange couldn't see the whole picture yet, even if she couldn't quite find a single reason as to why Kenny fucking Ackerman, the scoundrel and thief who shot her, who seemingly had no morals and didn't care about anything as long as his goal was achieved, would decide to do something potentially selfish to keep his nephew safe. And yet, she was sure that the man before her would never give her any more insight.

Not that Hange particularly cared - for his insight or about Kenny Ackerman in general. His nephew, on the other hand...

Oh. The whole picture, it just got a little clearer now.

Frieda, Kenny's guilt, his need to protect Levi, and...

Of course, how could she forget - the super secret, super hidden notebook. One that Reiss probably never parted with.

Was it possible to steal such a thing? Even for a man as sinfully skillful as Kenny?

"You have a plan," again, Hange didn't ask, she stated. “You’re going to do something that would allow you to get to Reiss without raising his suspicions.” And that could only be achieved by… "You’ll let him catch you."

"Huh," something close to genuine respect twinkled in Kenny's eyes. "You are smart, cop. And you're right. Reiss is resourceful and powerful, he will win unless we do something that he wouldn’t be able to foresee. But you’re still not quite right."

“Meaning?"

"You tell me, oh the noblest, smartest cop to ever grace the Earth." Kenny elbowed Hange in the ribs, with a grin far too cheeky for a man who just moments ago was opening up (as much as that word could even be applied to Ackermans) about ghosts that haunted him.

Hange nodded somberly. A test then, she was expecting one for a long time.

She straightened out, stared straight at Kenny - without worry or, god forbid, fear.

Frieda, Kenny's guilt, his need to protect Levi. Reiss' super secret, super hidden notebook. Somehow, those ingredients had to end in a cocktail called "Levi goes cuckoo". But how?

Hange thought, theorized, tried imagining herself in Kenny's place - putting on a shoes of a middle-aged, deceiving criminal felt awful, but she persevered. What she would have done in his place?

Frieda, Kenny's guilt, his need to protect Levi. Reiss' super secret, super hidden notebook. There must be something else? What was it?

Hange listed the ingredients again.

Frieda, Kenny's guilt, his need to protect Levi. Reiss' super secret, super hidden notebook.

Then, just as she was ready to give up and start spitting some bullshit, she remembered another important thing - Reiss had betrayed Kenny, leaving him pissed to hell.

And what sweeter revenge there could be than to give Reiss a taste of his own medicine?

Yes, that was it. Hange got it all, she was sure now.

"Frieda," she began, listing the first point of her imaginary list. "You need to talk to her, and ask for help. But why would she help you? Just to protect her sister? No, you need something bigger to bargain with her. And since she probably detests her father for what he's doing to Historia, I guess that their relationships are less than ideal. That's what you'll give her, a chance to take power from her father." But how? Right, Hange immediately caught herself - by exposing every crime that Reiss had orchestrated. Then how could Frieda help with that? "I doubt that she has an access to the notebook. And I doubt that she is willing to go against her father so openly, considering she has yet to break her silence about the ill treatment of Historia." So, Frieda had no use in helping them with finding or stealing notebook. Why did Kenny need her in the first place then? Find, steal the notebook, and oh... Right! Find, steal the notebook and expose Reiss, sending him to jail. Frieda was needed for the final act. As for the rest of the plan... "You want Frieda to catch you," Hange murmured, shocked by her own discovery. "She'll catch you in the act of stealing, call the police, have you arrested, and the police..."

Kenny smirked. "Yeah. The police will have no choice but look through the notebook. It'll become an evidence, after all."

"And that's..." Hange was still a little lost, but now she started to understand why she couldn't catch the formidable Ackermans. Kenny's strategies were superb. Honestly, she was a little terrified of him. And a small - a miniscule part of her - started to admire him. "That's how you'll expose Reiss. By sacrificing your own freedom."

"Eh," Kenny shrugged. "I've had enough of that shit. Had spent the best of my years, getting drunk on it. The time has come to pay my dues."

"And Levi?"

"And that's why, my dear," he patted her knee, reeking of glee, "I haven't thrown you out. You have to make sure that Levi stays out of this shit, and remains safe. As for happy," his smirk grew, obscenely so, "I'm sure you'll two figure it out."

Hange didn't share his enthusiasm. Logically, she knew that the plan was good, practically flawless, and perhaps their only way to defeat Reiss. Erwin would have approved, she couldn't help but think.

Even so, she felt nausea overcoming her at just the thought of having to lie to Levi. Haven't there been enough lies between them? What if another lie - as big, as important to Levi as this one - would destroy all the progress, all the trust they've built in the last three days?

Hange wasn't sure. Hange didn't want to lie to Levi. And yet, Hange knew that it was necessary - for protecting Historia from Reiss, for restoring her good name and wiping all the accusations, for keeping Levi safe from the mistakes of his uncle.

Fuck. Hange groaned, fingers digging in her scalp. She didn't like it.

She had no other choice but to go through with it.

"Nice talk," she husked to Kenny, going as far as to pat his shoulder.

Then, she stood up, legs just the tiniest bit unsteady, and returned to the house.

___

Levi thought that convincing or well— arguing with Kenny would be the hardest part. Never would he have known that the hardest part would be waiting while Kenny and Hange were talking, without him.

Up until now, he couldn't have imagined Hange talking with Kenny, of all people. Those two parts of his life, no matter how important both of them were, seemed way too different and far away to have a chance to entangle with one another.

But here he was, nursing a second cup of tea, and burning from anticipation. His body, his whole being screamed, pushing Levi to get up and move closer to the front door, just so he could have a chance at eavesdropping on their conversation. But as much as he wanted, needed to take this or, at least, some other type of action, he wasn't going to. Not while two girls were shooting glances at him, snickering between themselves.

"Princess and I have been wondering..." Ymir began with that infuriating grin of hers. Levi nearly chocked on his tea. So that ridiculously affectionate nickname wasn't a onetime slip up? Ymir was actually serious about it? Levi envied her lack of shame. "Did you have fun last night?"

Flashes of last night's events appeared before Levi's eyes. His relief at finding Kenny, his trepidation and painful memories that resurfaced as he stepped onto the porch of his childhood house, his hand in Hange's, her warm and kind eyes, the feeling of her arm over his shoulders as she convinced him to sleep in the same room as her, her palm on his thigh, face so close to his as she whispered the words that led to his undoing,

"Kiss me, Levi."

Everything after it was a blur - he only partially remembered shedding his clothes and helping Hange get out of hers, remembered pushing her down on the bed with a confidence he didn't feel, remembered climbing on top of her, connecting their lips once more, before going lower - exploring, kissing every mole and scar that he could find, paying special attention to the one on her left shoulder, the very same one that Kenny had created. That scar was his brightest memory, yet another reminder how he and Hange didn't fit, always had to be on the opposite sides of law and life.

Even so, despite the odds, that night they were together, they shared something special.

And if his and Hange's ways are meant to part, then— Levi was almost satisfied with that kind of ending. He didn't deserve a better one, anyway.

All of it, of course - his desires, fears and delights - were none of Ymir's business.

Levi said as much, with his dark glare. Then, to make sure that Ymir got his wordless message, he spoke, "What," he drew boringly. "You need advice?"

"I— what!" Ymir was livid, spluttering over her words. "That's not why I was asking! And I do not need advice, especially from you— you, you angry gnome!" she huffed, crossing arms on her chest, and turned to Historia. "I don't need his advice, right, princess?"

Historia smiled - a bit wickedly in Levi's opinion, but shook her head and patted the back Ymir's hand in a display of gentle reassurance, "No, baby, you're so good, you make me feel so good..."

Levi swiftly turned away, in case he witnessed something that wasn't meant for his eyes. Or, well, with Ymir involved, perhaps, it was her intent all along - to shove in his face just how great her relationship with Historia was, while Levi's relationship with Hange was... rocky, to say the least.

"Don't worry," this time, Historia's kindness was aimed at him. She smiled sweetly, making Levi wonder yet once again how in the world Ymir was able to make a girl as nice as Historia fall for her? Was it some kind of talent? Special trick? If so, could she show it to Levi? "Just so you know," Historia continued, in that quiet, melodic voice of hers. "Hange enjoyed your... em, night activities. A lot."

Oh. Levi couldn't believe how relieved he was to hear it. Historia wouldn't lie to him, right? But before he could— well, not beg, but politely, with just the tiniest bits of urgency ask the girl to elaborate, Hange herself barged into the kitchen, looking unharmed and in one piece.

Levi leaped to his feet.

Hange was here at last - not a hair out of place (at least - no more than usually), not a speck of blood on her face or clothes. So, she and Kenny haven't even tried to kill each other? Levi was honestly surprised. And proud, as well. He wasn't aware that Kenny could lead a civil conversation with someone— as honest and as different from him as Hange.

Kenny himself appeared a second later - reeking of smoke, but with a faint smile playing on his lips.

Levi decidedly did not understand. Did they get along that well? Did their discussion – whatever the hell they were discussing – go so well? Then why Hange refused to make eye contact with him?

The difference in their expressions, the tension in Hange's shoulders, Kenny's relaxed posture made Levi wonder - just what had happened after they left the house? Why didn't Kenny ask him to be the mediator during the discussion? Was some trick of his, did he simply want Hange to feel as uneasy as possible? Did he think that Levi would give her a sense of security? Or did his uncle want to hide something from him?

And if Kenny indeed had a secret, would Hange reveal it to him?

Only one way to find out, Levi decided grimly.

He moved to stand next to Hange, but was intercepted by Kenny, who clasped his shoulder, grinning joyfully, and announced, "Kids! Party time is over! Go have a nap, draw some pictures or something, whatever it is that you usually do."

Levi bristled. Levi wanted to cuss and curse Kenny. The tightened grasp on his shoulder stopped him. "I'd take this opportunity to rest, Levi," uncle advised him in a low whisper. "Considering your nightly escapades, and," he continued, despite Levi's formidable glare and his thinly veiled patience, "Our very much precarious situation. We have work tomorrow. Do try to... clear your head by that time."

The message was loud and clear - stop acting like a lovesick fool.

Not a bad advice, all things considered. But Levi couldn't follow it, not right now, when Hange was so— Hange was the only way to get to the bottom of Kenny's secret. Obviously, there was no other reason for him to approach Hange. No buried feelings, no badly hidden desires, no heartache, no longing.

Ah, if only his heart was just as easily convincible as was his mind.

"Hey," with grim determination and touch a bit too gentle, he walked up to Hange, his hand instinctively reaching out to hers.

Hange recoiled, sharply, as though she was burned. She took a haste step away from Levi, her eyes widening and breath picking up.

Levi tried to ignore the painful pang that reverberated through his chest. He didn't quite succeed.

"I was just thinking..." he began unsurely, still reeling from Hange's reaction. "We can go out for a walk, the weather is quite nice—"

God. Despite his height and his more than youthful face, he wasn't actually that young. But right now, in Hange's presence— he couldn't sound more like a boy with a crush even if he tried.

"Sorry," Hange showed him a smile - an uneven and painfully forced one. "Your uncle, he said..."

Subconsciously, Levi leaned in, beyond eager to hear her next words. He didn't even have to ask, of course, Hange was on his side. Of course, Hange trusted him and would tell him everything in a matter of seconds.

"He said that I shouldn't leave the house."

Oh. So she was intent on keeping that secret. If there was a secret at all. Levi was growing more and more suspicious of it with every word that left Hange’s mouth.

"Since...you know," she continued with a low chuckle, ignoring Levi's fallen expression, "I'm a wanted criminal and all that. Ah, what a crazy day, and the night was even crazier, I think... I'll go take a nap."

Not knowing what to do and not really listening to what Hange was going on about, Levi nodded. He expected Hange to leave instantly. To his surprise, she didn't.

She stared at him, head tilted to the side, eyes deep in thought, as though... she was considering something.

"Don't you want to join?"

Levi choked on the air. He had to shake his head to make sure that yes, it was indeed Hange standing before him, and, yes, it was her who asked the question.

"What?" he croaked, so weakly it almost sounded pitiful.

"Want to take a nap? Together? I mean—"

"No!"

"No? Oh, sorry, my offer was weird, forget—"

"No, fuck, yes. I wanted to say—" Levi groaned. He chanced a glance around the kitchen, relief spreading through him, when he made sure that Ymir and Historia had already moved elsewhere. Well, that meant that he made an ass out of himself only in front of Hange.

Awesome.

"Sorry," he said, composure setting back in place. "I wanted to say yes. Not yes as yes, it's weird," he added, seeing Hange's crestfallen face. "But as yes, I want to. If the offer still stands, that is."

Hange smiled, showing him not that tense and forced half-smile from before, but a real one - the gentle and incredibly soft one. One that melted him and made him think, just how miraculous and wonderful the existence of Hange Zoe was, a person shockingly selfless and overwhelmingly kind. "The offer still stands, now even more than before," she winked, and Levi's heart skipped a beat, hue spreading across his neck. "You very obviously need that nap. Did I tire you out that much last night?"

If Levi wasn't so well-versed in keeping a straight face, he'd blush bright red. If he wasn't so well-versed in Hange's antics and awful flirting techniques, he'd bust a vein.

Alas, he only raised an eyebrow. "Yes, four-eyes, you definitely need to sleep. Your sense of humor is deteriorating with every passing second."

"Wow," Hange deadpanned. "Someone is feeling very—"

Levi didn't her finish. His fingers circled her wrist and gave it a gentle tug. "Come on, let's put you to sleep."

"And you?" Hange sound petulant, nearly childish. Levi could nearly resist a smile. "You'll join, right?"

Even if Levi wanted to say no— how could he?

"Anything to shut you up," he murmured, fighting off an extremely persistent smile.

Hange hummed in satisfaction, the sound reverberating through Levi. Was it really so easy, he couldn't help but wonder. Falling for someone, being and staying with someone, was it really so easy, so blissful? Could even someone as him have it?

Or was it as unachievable as every mundane thing was in his life?

The feeling of Hange's warm breath on the skin of his neck didn't let him come to any kind of consensus.

"Hey shorty," she whispered hotly against his ear. Levi suppressed the shivers, lowering his head. He counted every stair that they've ascended. It didn't help him forget very warm, extremely affectionate Hange that pressed into his side. "You look lost in thought. What is on your mind?"

You, Levi almost blurted out. Good thing, even though an idiot he was, he remained a quiet one. He merely grunted at Hange, using his hold on her wrist to pull her in the hallway that lead to the room they've occupied last night.

The characteristic smell hit Levi's nose as soon as he pushed the door open. He must have forgotten to open the window after... they were done.

And now the room reeked of sex.

However, if Hange noticed, she didn't show it, falling into the bed with a satisfied hum. After a second of internal debating, Levi decided to follow her example, although he did so in a much calmer and somber manner.

Where Hange already laid in the middle of the bed, spread out like a damn starfish, Levi carefully sat down at the foot of the bed. Hange groaned and kicked him in the back. "Jesus, stop being so serious," she chided, "You can enjoy things and have fun, you know? No one's stopping you, at least, when it's only two of us."

"I—" well, what the fuck was he supposed to answer? And how was he supposed to react to Hange's expression - exasperated, but still kind? He stared at it, for a long, long moment. In the end, he decided to stick to his good old tactic - rudeness and sarcasm. "I fail to see what's so fun and enjoyable in napping, four-eyes. I'm not a child, you know."

"Could have fooled me," Hange quipped with a quiet laugh. "And if you don't see what's so fun and enjoyable about napping and cuddling, then maybe, you are the one who should be called four-eyes."

Levi tsked, but didn't bother with an answer. There was no winning against Hange in a match of witty banter anyway.

"Come here," Hange gestured, shifting to give more space for Levi.

He stared, confused out of his mind. "Are you serious?"

He meant to sound abhorred and repelled. His words came out quiet and unsure.

"Of course, I'm serious!" Hange cried out, motioning for him to hurry. "C'mon, it'd be fun, I promise!"

Levi wanted to argue some more, but— who he was kidding? He wanted that, why should he deny himself? After all, no one, but Hange would know about it.

Gingerly, he laid down, scooting over to Hange. She didn't waste another second, wrapping her arms around him and pressing him to her chest.

She was right. It did feel nice. Levi was satisfied.

He pulled the blanket over them, and so very soon, sleep started to overcome him.

Just at the edge of darkness, right when he was ready to cross the threshold between conscious and subconscious, succumbing to slumber, he felt a ghost of a kiss on the skin of his shoulder, then a faint murmur, "You deserve so much better, Levi. I hope you'd start believing in it too."

Once again, Levi didn't know what to say, how to reply and react to Hange's voice that was bordering on plea.

Unfortunately, before he could find the answer, the sleep had already conquered him.

#a chapter that is also called 'too many conversations' and 'no one can escape from ymir's teasing' #levihan

[ashesandhackles]

Harry And Personal Conflict: A Meta On Evolving Dynamic With Ron and Hermione

One of my last metas on Harry was how his abuse at the Dursleys informed who he is as a person and a lot of his main personality traits. This time, I want to explore Harry's relationship with conflict, mostly in regard to his best friends - Ron and Hermione.

First things first, because of his abusive upbringing where he is constantly in conflict with his caregivers, conflict is seen as Bad Thing when we first meet him as a 11 year old. And it informs how he reacts to both Ron and Hermione at first. He instantly relates to Ron because Ron is an underdog - a boy who feels neglected and passed over in his large and boisterous family. Harry shares his own experience of neglect with Ron and they both bond instantly.

His initial impression of Hermione is that she has a "bossy sort of voice" . The bossiness is an important characterstic to his impression of her - she reminds him of an authority figure and he does not particularly take to her as easily as he does Ron. Before the troll incident, he is frequently annoyed by her interventions because "he can't believe anyone would be so interfering". It's her vulnerability and the fact that she may be in danger that makes Harry, and by extension Ron, go after her. And she pays it back in full with a demonstration of loyalty to them in front of people she wants to impress: teachers. This sets the tone of his friendship with Ron and Hermione.

There is sense of easiness to his friendship with Ron, especially in earlier books that he doesn't quite share with Hermione. This is a bit gendered as well, of course. His relationship with Hermione evolves as Ron's own equation with two of them changes, more specifically Ron's cognisance of his romantic feelings for Hermione. So how does this inform his relationship with personal conflict?

Let's look at it Book wise.

Book 1-4: Since Harry tends to see All Conflict As Bad, when Hermione becomes his friend, he tends to ignore traits of her that he particularly doesn't take to. Specifically her argumentativeness - which he usually leaves Ron to deal with. For example, look at when Hermione drags him off to the kitchens in GOF. When he realises what this is about, he nudges Ron, and Ron does the protesting: "Hermione, you are trying to rope us into that spew stuff again!".

Often, you can say he is amused by Ron's more ..let's say colourful.. reactions to Hermione being overbearing. So when Ron and him are not speaking and Hermione gets a Quidditch term wrong, it causes him "a pang to imagine Ron's expression of he could have heard Hermione talking about Wonky Faints". It's that deeply ingrained into the dynamic.

While Ron acts buffer and protects Harry from stepping into a potential conflict ("skip the lecture", "don't nag" he tells her), Harry's world view remains quite the same. Part of Harry's growing up is integrating conflicting points of view and gaining nuance. For example, he can't understand why someone like Snape, who seems to hate him so much, can also save his life at the end of Philosopher's Stone. This is his first venture into trying to integrate two conflicting things about a person into nuance. Dumbledore gives him a very easily digestible story, one that appeals to his ideal of his father and Harry is sated.

Again, Harry's world view is tested when he finds out that he relates with Tom Riddle - for their "strange likenesses". He doth protest too much at Dumbledore's office: "I don't think I am like him! I am Gryffindor!". And Dumbledore offers him a wisdom nugget: "It's our choices which define who we are" (paraphrasing). Harry is uncomfortable that he empathises with Tom Riddle, his parents' murderer, at this point in the story.

In the first four books, his only proper personal conflict has been with Ron.

It is depressing to think about in these terms - but Ron is Harry's first experience of unconditional love (we can even put Hagrid here, but he is not the one who spends most time with Harry). And when Ron and him fight, Harry is so hurt by the prospect that he proceeds to abandon Ron before Ron abandons him. (the whole chucking a "Potter stinks" badge at him and making a jab about having a scar is what he wants, or the fight in DH where he yells "then leave! Pretend you have gotten over your spattergoit and have your mummy feed you up"). It's an interesting defense mechanism and he feels "corrosive hatred" towards Ron during these times because Ron and him aren't supposed to be like this. Ron is a certainty in his life. It's also why when Ron comes back, Harry either doesn't need him to apologise (as in GOF) or quickly forgives him in DH - although I do think Harry thinks the locket bit was punishment enough. But even without the whole locket, I think Harry has trouble holding Ron accountable in general beyond few slaps on the wrist - especially if Ron and he are on good terms.

5th Book: This is the transition point for Golden Trio friendship. Harry has come back from an immensely traumatising night at the graveyard and his PTSD isolates him from his best friends. This is also the point where Ron, especially after GOF, is aware of his romantic feelings for Hermione ("the perfume is unusual Ron", Hermione tells him in this book). So in this book, we often see Ron and Hermione on one side, with Harry on the other.

Ron is unwilling (quite like Harry in that respect) to engage him in a direct conflict, but he is also unwilling to shield him from Hermione's nagging in this book. This is why, OOTP is the book where you see Harry ignore or avoid Hermione and lie to her more than usual to avoid conflict. For example, he tells her that Snape thinks he can carry on Occlumency once he got the basics - that is categorically not what happened. Or the entire day he spends ignoring Hermione's warnings about breaking into Umbridge's office. (The description here is comical - about Hermione vehemently hissing so much that Seamus Finnigan is checking his cauldron for leaks. ) If he cannot lie to her or avoid her, at the end of the rope, he will treat her to display of his frightening temper.

Interestingly, OOTP is also the book that his world view goes through a tremendous upheaval: mainly, his ideal of his father and having empathy for Snape. It is unnerving for Harry to see Snape being the "boy who cried in the corner" when his father shouts at a cowering woman. Similarly unnerving is that his intense empathy for him - "he knew exactly what Snape felt when his father taunted him and judging by what he had seen, his father was every bit as arrogant as Snape always told him".

While he is placated that his father grew out of it, this memory of his father being a bully is something he cannot bear to watch again in DH. Few chapters later, he grins at Ron "sweeping his hair" back to make it look more windswept, just like his father - suggesting that Harry is beginning to integrate two conflicting things he knew about his father: from the people who loved him vs the people he was cruel to.

6th Book onwards: It's interesting to me that his better appreciation for Hermione comes after OOTP (one, because she is the one who challenged the whole Ministry plan and she followed him into a trap knowing it was one anyway) but also the timing of it is in line with Harry having a more nuanced understanding of his father. He struggled to hold conflicting information about him into one cohesive person - the boy who was a bully vs the man who joins Order of Phoenix to fight a war he could very well have sat out. The pedestal crashing helped Harry gain nuance (he thinks of his father and mother with pride in HBP - of them walking into an arena with head held high). HBP also sets up his deeper understanding with Snape in DH. There is lovely meta by about this by thedreamersmusing. Read it here. HBP is also the book he feels "sorry" for Voldemort and also feels "reluctant admiration" for him - both of things he is less defensive about.

And this nuance informs his relationship with conflicts - especially the kind he has with Hermione. He is more confrontational with her and does not lie or sneak around her as much as he did in OOTP in the Half Blood Prince. ("Finished? Or do you want to see if it does back flips?" He asks her when she takes the book from him to check if it's jinxed. Or the "I hope you enjoy yourself" he calls out irritably when she declares intention to find out who HBP is. And "do you want to rub it in Hermione? How do you think I feel now?" He tells her when she says she was right about HBP).

The fact that he is willing to be confrontational with her is a big step in his character - a step up from his unregulated outbursts in OOTP, which is a function of him not knowing how to put his anger across in normal ways. He is also more willing to stand up for her in front of Ron too - "You could say sorry" he tells Ron bluntly. This is in contrast to his more quiet standing up for her in POA: "Can't you give her a break?" Harry asked him quietly. In POA, he lets the subject drop after Ron flatly refuses. Here, he presses on more : "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at moustache!" "So did I, it's the stupidest thing I have ever seen".

His relationship with Ron is an interesting contrast to his relationship with Hermione, which functionally teaches a very important lesson for an abused child who thought all conflicts are bad: That his friendship with her is challenging, and frustrating, filled with conflicts but their love for each other isn't disputed. It's a very important thing for brain development in general - to hold conflicting information in one space. The defense mechanism abused children do to avoid this is called splitting.

So, Ron allows Harry to be the age he is: a teenager and it's foundation for his further development, and Hermione teaches him how to be an adult, and therefore, spurs his growth. (In esoteric terms, if you look at Ron and Hermione as proxy parents - Ron is the Mother archetype, the one who offers unconditional love. Hermione is the Father archetype - one who demands best of him, and guides him).

Additional reading: Harry, Prongs and Prince - Harry's Inner Struggles For Forging An Identity. By u/metametatron4

Harry Identifies, and Reluctantly Admires Snape Even Before The Prince's Tale by thedreamersmusing

#harry james potter #hp meta #harry potter character analysis #hp character analysis #golden trio #golden trio analysis #harry x ron x hermione #harry and ron #harry and hermione #ron x Hermione #severus snape #james Potter #harry potter #tom riddle #albus percival wulfric brian dumbledore #albus dumbledore #metas #harry potter and order of phoenix #harry Potter and half blood Prince

[starbuck]

Inspired by @nysscientia​‘s excellent meta, I’m thinking about how the “I am your king,” line from 1x01 was not part of the early draft of the pilot script and instead that whole speech was replaced with the Odysseus monologue from 1x02, because I feel like the way it was ultimately written in the show is a really great case study into the phenomenon the linked post is discussing and it’s long-term negative effect on Flint’s plans.

In the final version of the 1x01 scene, Flint only focuses on rallying Billy against the looming threat of England (“Civilization is coming and it means to exterminate us. If we are to survive, we must unite behind our own king,”) as opposed to explaining his actual plans for Nassau’s future. No indication is given whatsoever that Flint has any end goal other than to be The King in question.

To Eleanor, however, Flint actually DOES open up quite extensively about his vision for a reformed, stable Nassau (“We could build ships to defend our shores and train new men to sail them. We could work the land, grow crops and raise cattle,”) and then adds the Odysseus monologue on top of that which ends with his declaration that all he really wants is just “to walk away from the sea and find some peace.”

Accordingly, throughout seasons 1&2, Eleanor’s support of Flint is centered around achieving something good (a stable, reformed Nassau), whereas Billy’s support of Flint is centered around preventing something bad (England’s return and subjugation). Of course, there’s a whole separate discussion to be had about how their opposite areas of focus reflect Eleanor’s assumption that she was in no danger of being hanged as a pirate vs. Billy being someone with no such luxury, but I’m mainly referring to how they view Flint himself which, although colored by their respective backgrounds, cannot be fully explained by that.

Eleanor views Flint as a trusted partner towards a mutually productive end goal because he repeatedly explains the details of that goal and his intentions to her. Billy views Flint as a necessary evil to defend the people he loves from a more powerful threat because that’s the extent to which Flint opens up to him about why his leadership should be valued.

And this is why Billy, who, considering his history, should have been the easiest person to rally to the cause in s3, is lost before it even begins. The storm and its aftermath lead him to conclude that Flint is not protecting them from anything and that his only real intent is to endlessly force them into fruitless conflict until they’re all dead (thanks, Silver). And so, with Flint making no attempt to convince him that he actually has higher goals than that, a Flint-led war against the British Empire that they were all conscripted into against their will is the last thing Billy is willing to commit himself to by that point.

#black sails #which brings us to the whole other point of Flint's constant insistence on making unilateral decisions #which wouldn't be an issue if his men trusted him which they would if they believed in his vision for the future #but they don't really have much of an opportunity to do that when he's unwilling to explain it #and it's so frustrating to watch bc i swear i could make a whole list of times when someone comes to Flint with a concern on the level that #what he really should have done is said 'I completely understand your concern and why don't we sit down and discuss it further?' #but what he says instead is something extremely dismissive (or that could be perceived that way) and that's the end of the discussion #99% of the examples coming to mind being conversations with Silver and Billy #and i'm over here banging my head against the wall like Flint!!!! My dude!!!!! Please make a fucking effort!!!!!!! #with Silver at least Flint Sort Of Tried... Eventually... #with Billy tho I have no idea what Flint was thinking #I really don’t think he would have been that hard to convince if Flint had properly explained Literally Anything #especially if he'd been willing to show Billy any respect whatsoever - that's what Billy wanted more than anything imo #and the bar was underground so i don't feel like it would have taken much #even just Flint's being willing to talk to him like a human person at all might have done the trick #it would have been So Easy for Flint to prevent all of the problems before they happened #but ig everybody's got a blind spot... #doesn't make it any less depressing tho #failure of communication is the worst kind of tragedy because it's the most preventable in hindsight #but as it stands - the conflict between Flint and Billy is the same in 4x01 as it was in the first episode #Flint is dismissive of Billy because he doesn't respect him and Billy distrusts Flint because he doesn't understand his long-term goals #and it just Didn’t Have To Be Like That...

[theres-a-goldensky]

30 More The Untamed Fic Recs

Here we go again. Another Wangxian rec list. Are you bored of me yet?

Were these recs helpful to you? If so, you can check out my other Wangxian rec posts:

Part 1 - 40 recs

Part 2 - 23 recs

Part 3 - 23 recs

As ever, feel free to reblog.

You can also head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

1. say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn - ~69,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian after he adopts a small A-Yuan, because Wei Wuxian also has a past with him. Lots of adorable family feelings and emotional hurt/comfort.

As often happened, Wei Ying’s voice preceded his entrance, calling to his co-worker through the open door, “Frankie, they forgot to order spoons again, can you hold down the fort a little longer while I —”

Lan Wangji was already looking to his entrance, head turning as if magnetized toward the voice, so he saw the moment when Wei Ying’s eyes landed on A-Yuan and the smile fell from his face. He looked stricken, and Lan Wangji immediately looked to his son in alarm. A-Yuan seemed fine. His small eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown as he looked back at Wei Ying, but that wasn’t surprising, given the expression on Wei Ying’s face. Lan Wangji had seen that face beaming, laughing, whining, wheedling, and occasionally angry, but never like this. He looked blank and hollow and it stirred something fierce in Lan Wangji: he wanted to rise up and obliterate whatever was making him look like that. Then his eyes lifted to Lan Wangji and there was a flash of something almost like betrayal, before he pressed his lips together and turned his back.

“I’m going to run out to the store and get spoons,” he said in a flat voice to his co-worker, and left without looking their way again.

2. the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships - ~41,000 words, mature - This is an AU of the novel where Wei Wuxian puts two and two together when Lan Zhan sneaks that kiss from him. It changes a lot of things.

Against his own will, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Wangji’s hands. They were… certainly large enough that one of them could wrap around both of his wrists. And Lan Wangji was certainly strong enough, tall enough, broad-shouldered enough to bodily pin him against the trunk of a tree with no chance of him breaking free. Lan Wangji was the first person he’d come across in his slow comb through the vicinity of where he’d been so headily kissed.

Wei Wuxian drew a sharp breath. There was a connection to be made here. He didn’t think he was crazy enough to make it. Perhaps he truly was going slightly insane with demonic cultivation if he could believe Lan Wangji, the paragon of virtue and respectability, who lived unflinchingly under Gusu Lan’s three thousand edicts, who had at best only tolerated his presence as children, would sneak up to him while he was blindfolded, pin him against a tree, and steal a kiss from him in broad daylight.

3. and his wanting grows teeth by yukla - ~25,000 words, teen - This is a very interesting AU where Lan Zhan is a traveling cultivator and runs into Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs looking for shelter during a snowstorm. No spoilers, but this fic goes to a pretty dark place that genuinely shocked me, but I enjoyed. (Still ends well though.)

Without further ado, they are hustled past the entrance and into a smaller greeting area. Huang-bobo approaches the brazier in the center with his hands outstretched, warming his fingers in the heat, but Lan Wangji hangs back. As he carefully brushes the snow free from his shoulders, he feels the burn of a curious gaze trailing up and down his body, lingering at the guqin still strapped to his back; when the sensation pauses at his face and stays there, he lifts his head.

The boy with the ribbon lights up at the eye contact, flashes another dazzling smile, and gives a little wave.

“You must be new here,” he whispers, something like laughter threaded into his voice, eyes scrunching into winking half-moons. “All dressed up in white like that! You might lose yourself in the snowstorm!”

Something stirs to life in Lan Wangji’s chest. It’s—uncomfortable, he decides, and so he steps away. Teasing should not be encouraged with a response.

4. Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller - ~15,000 words, not rated - After Wei Ying's death, his spirit seems to linger. The story is told from Lan Xichen's point of view. I love an outsider point of view. I also love the way the author fleshes out his character as well.

Lan Xichen means to force his way inside, angry ghost of the Yiling Patriarch or no, but then his brother lets out slow breath, settling, the pain easing from his face as he falls back into a more peaceful sleep.

His hair is moving on its own, so subtly Lan Xichen might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at Wangji so intently. It’s like someone’s running their hand through his hair.

The window frosts over suddenly, thick enough that he can’t see through it. Anxiety spikes through him so quickly he’s nauseous with it, but then the frost melts away and the opening notes of Healing start up again.

He can’t tell if it’s a warning or not. Maybe it’s just an acknowledgement. Wei Wuxian knows he’s there.

5. **leading tone by silencemostofall - ~32,000 words, general - This is a modern AU set in a world where people who love you leave a mark of color on you the first time you touch. Wei Wuxian has no color on him. So much emotional hurt/comfort. So much of Wei Wuxian's terrible self-esteem.

He can cover up his palms with his gloves, so that the blankness does not draw stares. But he has no marks on his fingertips, which he cannot easily hide, and none visible on his face or neck, the blankness of which is even more difficult to hide. People look at him and, with a single glance, understand the single most devastating truth that he knows about himself.

They assume that he does not have very many marks. He may be an eccentric, dramatic person, but the likelihood that an individual has all of their marks on, say, their feet or their torso or other places that are not immediately obvious-- that probability goes down as your number of marks increases. He can laugh as much as he wants about how he loves touching people for the first time with odd places, like the knee or the elbow, but it doesn't quite mask the feeling of other that he knows he exudes.

They assume that he does not have a lot of marks. This, while a heavy weight, is not unbearably so. It is okay that they think he is not much loved. It chafes a bit, and feels occasionally like something he has to furiously push down within himself, but it is not unbearable. What would be unbearable is if they knew the truth: that he does not just have very few marks, but none. That he is simply an individual who is not loved at all.

6. **pastel by antebunny - ~7,000 words, gen - This is a remix work of the above fic. It's from Lan Zhan's point of view and just different enough to be interesting. Still lots of emotional hurt/comfort. I love this concept a whole lot, and both of these fics are great.

It’s a simmering day in May, and Wei Ying is wearing long sleeves, long pants, and gloves.

His choice of dress isn’t unusual for many reasons. For one, there’s plenty of people who don’t like strangers seeing their soulmarks. There’s plenty of people who wish to keep them private by covering them up. For another, Wei Ying spends most of his day in various chilly computer science department rooms, He could just be wearing long sleeves for that.

7. one good thing by Yuu_chi - ~27,000 words, teen - Wei Wuxian has died (or did he??) and is haunting his old home. Lan Zhan moves in. This story has a happy ending! And so much yearning!

To the flowers struggling to grow on the other side of the glass, he says, “We’re getting a new roommate. Well, I’m getting a new roommate - you’re getting somebody who might actually be able to water you for a change.” The flowers outside sway a little in the breeze, and Wei Wuxian nods contemplatively. “He can’t be any worse than the last guy who lived here. Remember when I spooked him while he was cooking and he nearly burnt the house down? Of course you don’t. You’re fucking foliage, your memory is worse than mine. I remember though, so it’s cool.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him and Wei Wuxian looks up to see the stranger has entered the kitchen, setting the last of the boxes down on the table. Disgustingly neat handwriting declares the box kitchen - homeware. The stranger carefully brushes his hair back from his face and, without so much as a second of hesitation, cracks open the box and begins unpacking.

“Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?” Wei Wuxian marvels. “You literally just got here - who cares about unpacking? Sit down for a moment, breathe, have something to eat. It’s not going anywhere.”

8. with you, I am home by tellthemstories - ~47,000 words, mature - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is being forced to return home to entertain marriage proposals. So naturally instead he "convinces" Lan Zhan to pretend to date him. I love a good fake dating fic, and this one hits all the right beats.

Lan Zhan does that almost-smile thing that Wei Wuxian takes to mean he’s happy, or at the very least not-mad. “You don’t have any money.”

“Not true. I have the money from our last job, when we settled the vengeful spirit for the flower shop girl.” (He doesn’t. They have Lan Zhan’s money. Wei Wuxian spent his on a pack of loquats and three bottles of Emperor’s Smile wine.)

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “Do it for me.”

Thinking back on it two weeks later, standing alone in the middle of Jin Ling’s graduation banquet and watching Lan Zhan walk away from him, Wei Wuxian realises that this, this was the moment when he should have known. He should have realised in the way Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate or negotiate and just says with that half-fond, half-exasperated tone he gets sometimes, “Fine.”

9. and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen - ~11,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying can't find Lan Zhan, but hey, there happens to be a rabbit here instead. Features a very slow Wei Ying, emotional hurt/comfort and accidental love confessions.

Immediately, his heart settles and he grins down at his new friend. “Oh, hello there,” he coos, reaching out to pet the fluffy ears. The bunny is very, very still under his hand.

“Did Lan Zhan bring you today?,” he continues cooing. “I’m sorry I missed that, but your Dad didn’t tell me he was bringing you.”

Lan Zhan rarely brings his rabbits to work since they are as tolerant of crowds and unnecessary noise as he is. They were probably relevant to today’s lesson but…

Wei Ying frowns. “Why would he leave you alone? And where is your cage?”

10. how, or when, or from where by sarahyyy - ~10,000 words, gen - Wei Ying wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and can't remember the last few years of his life, including his best friend and the guy he's in love with.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes so hard Wei Wuxian is surprised his eyeballs don’t just fall out of his eye sockets. “That’s the worst part. He did. Whatever mating ritual you both have going on is so fucking weird, Wei Wuxian.” He snorts. “If you’d stayed asleep for any longer, I’d have lost my shit and thrown my myself out a window just so I wouldn’t have to talk to Lan Wangji again.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “Is this a good time to ask who Lan Wangji is?”

Jiang Cheng glares at him. “Your Lan Zhan,” he says, annoyed. Wei Wuxian must look as confused as he feels, because Jiang Cheng’s annoyance bleeds out into concern. “Your Lan er-gege? Your soulmate, Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No bells are ringing.”

11. ** a shared plate by yukla - ~26,000 words, teen - This is an absolutely gorgeous fic about Wei Wuxian traveling the world post-canon to rediscover himself and restore his faith in humanity and eventually find his way back to Lan Zhan. The whole thing is great, but the last two chapters are just *chef's kiss*

Lan Zhan,

Just as the mountains stand unchanging and the green rivers flow ceaselessly, we will meet again — and between then and now, you cannot hope to avoid my letters, either! Haha! Lan Zhan, I’ve seen so many things and met so many people, and it’s only been a month!

I miss you already

It’s so hot that I find myself missing the wind in Gusu’s mountains. Your poor Wei Ying is I’m melting away, Lan Zhan...

I’m realizing now, sixteen years is a long time to be away — the world is vast, and quite a bit different than I remembered. And in sixteen years, a child can also grow up into a man! It’s your job to catch me up on A-Yuan’s fun childhood stories! I do remember hearing something about a pile of rabbits...

12. with your arms outstretched to me by annemari - ~14,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan finally gets up the nerve to ask Wei Ying on a date, but things don't go as expected. Features emotional hurt/comfort (are we sensing a theme with these recs??) and just regular hurt/comfort.

"Oh, man, I was hoping you had some water with you," Wei Ying says. "I totally forgot to bring any for myself. Stupid of me."

"There is enough for both of us," Lan Wangji says. He has another bigger bottle in the car, as well.

Wei Ying hums but he only takes a few sips. He presses it back into Lan Wangji's hand. "I don't need any more."

Lan Wangji is considering arguing, but then Wei Ying shifts a bit, moving his ankle, and gasps very, very quietly.

13. ** A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart - ~22,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian has finished traveling and returned to the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan. But their lives never do run smoothly.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, recognizing him after a moment. His heart slams against his rib cage. “Where is Lan Zhan? What’s happened?”

Lan Jingyi flaps a hand at him, gulping air. Wei Wuxian hands him the water, and leans back against Little Apple’s side as he waits impatiently for the boy to get his breath back.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Jingyi gasps, just as Wei Wuxian is about to throttle a proper answer out of him. “Hanguang Jun was in such a state when he woke up, we didn’t know if you’d come and gone already.”

“Where is he, Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, as evenly as he can. “What happened?”

14. So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend - ~14,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel extraordinary pain unless he's touching Lan Zhan. Yet more of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues and Lan Zhan's steadfast devotion.

“Are you hurt, Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks, pressing his hand to Wei Ying’s forehead to feel his temperature. There is no fever, but that doesn’t do much to mitigate Lan Wangji’s worries.

“No—I’m not hurt,” says Wei Ying, sagging forward to lean his weight into Lan Wangji’s hand like he can’t help himself.

It’s so strange—Lan Wangji can feel what Wei Ying is feeling. Although the relief is still very profound, wisps of other things are making themselves known; happiness; wistfulness; guilt. It’s all so fleeting that Lan Wangji can’t even begin to deduce what has provoked those feelings, but he wishes he knew their source.

15. puzzle pieces by Anonymous - ~6,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are roommates, and Wei Ying has started borrowing Lan Zhan's clothes.

“Hm? Oh.” With sleepy eyes that does— things to Lan Zhan’s heart, he blinks and tugs at the lower hem of the shirt, which is riding just above the curve of his thighs. Does Lan Zhan’s mouth water? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. “Ah, yeah, sorry. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ He blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that Lan Zhan wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks. But he can’t say that, and his tongue doesn’t know how to say anything else. So he stays silent.

“Oh,” Wei Ying says after a moment. “If you—oh, damn, I should’ve known, this is like real silk, must’ve been super expensive. Fuck. Okay, here, uh, I’ll take it off—“

16. ** Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl - ~60,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Ying is trying to be a good brother and get Jiang Cheng laid. Somehow this plan involves pretending to date Lan Zhan.

"I won't!" Wei Ying insists. "I'll ask out someone...high stakes. I'll find someone. I'll...okay, how's this? I swear that I'll ask someone out and keep at it for at least two dates."

"No."

"Three dates."

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, five. That's fair! That's more than fair! One person, five dates." He points at Jiang Cheng. "You have to do it, too. That's how a pact works."

Jiang Cheng stares at him. "Five dates," he says flatly. "Five. And yours can't be Nie Huaisang."

17. i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) - ~43,000 words, explicit - This is a Modern AU and a Cherry Magic AU! (Side note: GO WATCH CHERRY MAGIC IF YOU HAVEN'T.) But in short, Wei Ying turns 30 without losing his virginity and gets the power to hear people's thoughts when he touches them. He gets more than he bargained for with Lan Zhan. The author does a good job of translating the story to these characters. Wei Ying is not forced to be like Adachi, the main character of Cherry Magic. He's still himself, and the same goes for Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s voice is so clear, so sudden that it’s as though it’s spoken, the slice of a sharp object through velvet.

He’s touching me.

Wei Ying startles for a moment, wonders if he’d somehow heard his own thoughts instead, but — no, that had definitely been Lan Zhan’s steady, factual baritone, loud and clear.

God, this is still so weird. It still doesn’t seem totally real. But how else can he account for hearing Lan Zhan’s voice in his head, as clearly as if he’d spoken to Wei Ying directly?

18. like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar - ~37,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are roommates, and Lan Zhan just finds himself wanting to take care of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s roommate. Is a problem.

He doesn’t get an answer to the roommate problem until the next morning, when Lan Xichen texts him telling him that the apartment he’d suggested (and helped pay rent for) to Lan Wangji said in the small text that it’d be two people per apartment, the second bedroom wasn’t actually a guest bedroom, sorry, Wangji, you can move in with me if you want, I have space —

No. Thank you for your kind offer, Brother, but I will be quite fine, Lan Wangji texts back.

19. ** some impulse of delight by handclaps - ~20,000 words, explicit - College AU where Wei Ying decides he needs to help Lan Zhan get used to touching people. Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying is dumb and in love. Lan Zhan is less dumb, but still as in love.

Lan Zhan shakes his head and fumbles, tries to push the cotton wool into Wei Wuxian’s hand.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, realising. “Touching people, I know.”

He feels dumb. He thought he’d worn Lan Zhan down more than this, that they were friends now and that his whole no touching thing was mostly overcome. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand easily, right? He looks down at his belly full of scratches, dabbing at them moodily.

“Sorry,” he says, again.

Lan Zhan makes some kind of noise, but he is busy packing the first aid kit back, placing everything exactly where it was before.

“Lan Zhan, you’re going to have to do something about this,” Wei Wuxian complains. “I know you don’t like touching people and usually it plays as a kind of gentlemanly thing, but what about emergencies?”

20. And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene - ~43,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian returns after a year of traveling and rejoins Lan Zhan in the Cloud Recesses. He's doing a good job of pining and ignoring the obvious. Look, at this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm a sucker for stories where Wei Wuxian deals with his ~*~issues~*~ and Lan Zhan takes care of him, whether he asks for it or not. This story has lots of that. I also enjoyed the case fic aspect of it.

“I do, I think,” Wei Wuxian admits. “Would be nice to see his face again after so long. And at least this time, I’m going to show up draped in finery. What do you think, Lan Zhan? I can’t possibly disgrace him—or you—wearing a cloak like that.”

“You could never disgrace me,” Lan Wangji says gently, that soft, affectionate look back on his face.

Wei Wuxian grins, warmed to the tips of his toes.

“I’ll remind you of that later. The next time I’m three jars deep and feeling especially shameless, you’ll have to remember those words, Lan Er-gege.”

“Of course,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian smiles some more, overwhelmed by fondness.

21. darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter - ~7,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian really, really wants Lan Zhan to call him 'gege'. Lan Zhan knows a trump card when he sees one.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

Lan Wangji knows he will not stop, regardless of what he calls him. Still, he thinks about it. If there really is a way to make Wei Wuxian stop, should he not consider it? He doesn’t have any real interest in curbing his husband’s insatiable mischievousness, but he does like knowing things about him—everything there is to know.

If there’s something that persuasive in the world, that it can bring Wei Wuxian into submission when no one is under threat, could he stop himself from seeking it?

22. your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - ~11,000 words, gen - Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui fic with the Wangxian in the background. Lan Sizhui wants another dad and Wei Wuxian wants a son, they just don't know how to explain that to each other.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

Lan Sizhui tucks his chin into his uncle’s shoulder, and lets his eyes fall closed.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Wen Ning whispers to him kindly.

Lan Sizhui takes a deep breath, and takes stock of all his aches, his ringing ear, his hollow chest, the way he had selfishly wanted Wei Wuxian to keep speaking to him in that careful voice, like he was just a child to be soothed and there was no real danger. How dangerous, to pretend. “No,” he lies. “It doesn’t hurt that much at all.”

23. when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool - ~26,000 words, teen - AU where Lan Zhan with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's one-month celebration. Things go down, and it leads to Lan Zhan discovering Wei Wuxian's missing golden core. This obviously will not do, and oh look, the best doctor in the world just happens to be right here.

“How—“ Lan Wangji chokes. “His core —?” He looks at Wen Ning, half accusatory in his shock. “Jin Zixun could not have—“

“No, no!” Wen Ning says, holding out his hands. “He hasn’t had one for years, don’t worry!”

This is not as reassuring as Wen Ning seems to think.

“Please explain,” Lan Wangji says, pained. He feels for Wei Wuxian’s pulse instead; in the absence of a golden core, it will have to do as reassurance that he’s still alive.

Wen Ning is so anxious that the story comes out in a ramble, out of order. Lan Wangji wants him to hurry up, but he’s also not confident in his own ability to speak, so he just keeps quiet and lets him talk. His heart feels as if it’s about to fall from his chest, beating nearly twice as fast as Wei Wuxian’s does under his fingers.

24. A Match in the Making by lareine - ~30,000 words, teen - A Modern AU where Wei Wuxian sees his single and bad ass friend Lan Zhan and his single and bad ass friend Mianmian and gets some very dumb ideas.

To return to the point: Lan Zhan was peak adulting. Mianmian was peak adulting. And if they were both at the peak, then they were on the same level. What level? That mysterious level thing that everyone mentioned when it came to dating.

Whatever level it was, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were on it together. Wei Ying nodded to himself. So, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were allowed to date each other. The next question was: were they compatible? Did they have chemistry or whatever the fuck people called it?

25. Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo - ~16,000 words, explicit - Lan Zhan gets cursed to say whatever he's thinking. So his worst nightmare. Mutual pining, first time, all good stuff.

Lan Wangji freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, lifting his eyes to stare at Wei Ying.

"I know! Just completely paralyzed." Wei Ying mimes being still as a board. "I don't know how long I lay there. It must have been two days at least. Good thing for Little Apple. He wandered back to the village when he got hungry, and eventually a few of them got brave enough to come look for me. When they rolled me over, the figure fell out of my hand and I could move again. Cunning little thing." He shakes his head. "I was weak as a kitten for a little while after they took me back to the village, and by the time I recovered, they'd burned the whole place to the ground. Such a waste."

Lan Wangji slowly lowers his chopsticks, heart racing unpleasantly. In his head, a picture of Wei Ying slowly wasting to death alone in the middle of the woods, with Lan Wangji a hundred miles away and none the wiser.

26. Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller - 13,000 words, no rating - Lan Zhan wants to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. There are some things he definitely didn't realize about Wei Ying.

“He has a life here,” he says down the line. He doesn’t say that he has a life here too, one he likes a lot more than the one he had before. He misses home. He’d miss Wei Ying more. But he doesn’t say that, doesn’t say how vibrant he is and how beautiful and how little interest Lan Zhan has at seeing him among the high society he grew up with.

“Well, your life is here, Wangji,” his brother says. “You can’t stay away from home forever. You’re going to have to see how he does with the rest of us sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.”

It might as well be never, as far as he’s concerned. His family can meet Wei Ying at their wedding.

“I’ll ask,” he says.

Wei Ying has no interest in cultivation politics. They’re horrible, the five clans have an iron tight alliance that’s thirty seconds away from collapsing in on itself the moment someone from one sect steps on another sect’s toes. It’s the worst and he hates it. Surely even just the idea of it will be so horrifying to Wei Ying that Lan Zhan will be able to tell his brother no.

27. just our hands clasped so tight by electrum ~4,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan really, really, really just wants to give Wei Ying everything he wants.

“Despite your best efforts,” Wei Wuxian agrees. He shakes his head in mock-dismay. “How much longer do you think that will last if you keep buying everything I look at?” When this, too, fails to soften Lan Zhan’s resolve, he tries a different tactic. “We couldn’t even afford potatoes,” he says. “Back when I was with the Wens, at the Burial Mounds. Only radishes! If I survived that, I can certainly survive without another pretty comb.”

Lan Zhan’s expression is at once unmoved and yet somehow stricken. “I would have bought Wei Ying potatoes,” he says, like Wei Wuxian doesn’t know, by this point, that Lan Zhan would buy him anything. “If I had known…”

28. ** Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller - ~64,000 words, no rating - Jin Ling & Wei Wuxian with Wangxian in the background. Jin Ling is the best boy! And as he tries to rehabilitate his sect and his family and keep himself alive at the same time, he realizes, horrifyingly, that he has to be the mature one.

29. ** an act too often neglected by Ariaste - Lan Xichen / Meng Yao, ~61,000 words, explicit - The Wangxian is in the background here, but the main story is about Lan Xichen meeting Meng Yao on a dating app and getting immediately dickmatized. Meanwhile. Meng Yao refuses to be won over by Lan Xichen's charm. It goes as well as you'd expect for him.

The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

Lan Xichen feels a low simmer of arousal kindle in the pit of his stomach, and he gazes at that word-- demanding --for nearly as long as he’d stared at the photograph. He swipes right.

A few minutes later, a notification pops up: < Hm, the size of your hands is promising.

This is familiar. This is the flirtation stage. Lan Xichen knows the steps to the dance.

30. My Land Beneath Me by longleggedgit - ~30,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is cast out of his sect and out of China to America. And Lan Zhan just...follows.

Lan Zhan always waited for his tea to cool before drinking, which meant he had nothing to do but give Wei Wuxian a judgmental look. “No more McDonald’s.”

“You’re just bitter because you get indigestion from anything that actually tastes good,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

Because Lan Zhan was insufferably mature and patient, he didn’t rise to the bait. “We have time to stop somewhere before class,” he said.

“Fine. But you’re paying this time.”

It was a bad joke, and predictably, fell flat; Lan Zhan was, after all, paying for everything, every time. Wei Wuxian frowned into his mug.

“You know,” he said, after another swallow, “you really don’t have to be here. I’m going to figure something out.”

*

Interested in 86 more The Untamed fic recs?

Part 1 - 40 recs Part 2 - 23 recs Part 3 - 23 recs

#the untamed fic #the untamed #master of demonic cultivation #wangxian fic recs #wangxian fic #mdzs #lan xichen/jin guangyao #lan zhan #wei wuxian/lan wangji #wei wuxian #jin ling #lan sizhui #mxtx novels

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

liar liar pt. 2

request: I have a request, the reader is dating Spencer, and she and JJ are the ones that know that Emily faked her death. I’m thinking of it taking place in “It Takes A Village,” and she has to deal with Spencer being upset with her, like he was with JJ, but it has a fluff ending? Thanks!

for: @flklrevrmre

word count: 2,192                                                                                     reading time approx: 9 mins

a/n: i hope you enjoy this ending ;) and i’m elated to have so many new friends on my taglist.

masterlist

pt. 1

My ring finger traced the circumference of the wine glass I was drinking out of, while my eyes followed the marble trails of Rossi’s countertop. The team was giggling and chatting amongst themselves as I secluded myself. My thoughts were captured by my insecurities, paralyzing every fun bone I had in my body. Occasionally, I would contribute to their conversations, but only enough that I didn’t make myself seem bereaved. 

After a while, it became apparent that I wasn’t participating in the festivities, which conjured Emily and JJ to step away from the group, joining me. “Hey…” JJ eased into small talk, stuffing her hands into her pocket as she approached me. I replied with a light smile, their presence uplifting my current state. 

I knew what they wanted to say. I knew what they were going to ask. 

Spencer. 

“How are you holding up Y/N?” Emily hesitantly brought herself into the conversation. They both gazed at me with doe eyes, tenderness evident in their touch as they resided beside me. 

I took my lip in between my teeth, shaking my head as the fatigue had finally caught up to me. My chest throbbed from being sore all week, my shoulders were frail from being uneasy all the time, and my heart burned with self-reproach. With every passing day, I felt my limbs grow limp and my soul go numb. In contradiction, the two halves of my brain battled one another till my doubts were left to torment me further. 

With the silent response, JJ and Emily shared glances of disquietude, pondering their next steps. “Y/N?” JJ called out softly, laying a tender hand on top of mine. “You took a burden alone. That doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone,” she murmured, nodding to Emily. 

“Y/N, I can’t help but feel like this is my fault,” Emily lamented. “I just...tell me that there’s a way I can help.” 

“There’s nothing either of you can do…” I smiled bitterly, glancing at both of them. I squeezed JJ’s hand, feeling a film cast over my eyes. “And Emily, you had to protect Declan,” I empathize, using my other hand to pull her into a side hug. “I would’ve done the same.” 

“I can tell,” Emily looked at me with somber reverence. “Especially for what you did for Spence.” 

Another pang hit the center of my chest, making my ribcage sting. The mention of his name made my skin crawl instead of making my heart flutter like it used to. I wordlessly winced at Emily’s notice, trying to conceal it the best I can. “And I would do it again,” I declared, meaning every word. “I’d burn the entire world if it meant making sure that he isn’t alone. I...I know what it feels like to be confined in your head--it’s something me and him share. It’s a merciless place.” 

“You really do love him, don’t you?” 

“More than I can ever fathom.” 

I  stared at the ceiling, letting my tears travel back inside of my head. I shut my eyes, feeling a deep burn envelop my eyelids from all the crying I’ve done previously. “I spoke to him,” Emily brought up. 

My attention instantly shifted to her, prompting her to elaborate. “I spoke to him when we wrapped up that case in New York,” she explained. I unknowingly leaned over, listening intently to her story. “We had a conversation about everything--you. I won’t get into details because that’s between you and Spencer, but I did encourage him to come tonight.” 

My nerves did small somersaults, unable to process the new piece of information. “Are you sure?” I falteringly asked. 

“I’m sure he’ll come.” 

But he didn’t. 

A few hours had passed, and there was no evidence of Spencer’s attendance. With another disappointment, the burden of my thoughts pried at my most vulnerable parts. 

I had enough. 

I rose from my seat, bidding everyone adieu as I excused myself to the backyard. Amid the formalities, I assured everyone of my well-being and that I would return soon. Their persistent objections were loud, loud enough to stifle the opening of the front door as I stepped outside.

I felt the cool air caress my shoulders while crickets chirped a nightly symphony. The moon glowed with elegance, and stars painted the sky in an ethereal light. From a distance, it looked as if the planets were mere neighbors greeting one another. 

It was beautiful; it took me out of the confines of my mind. 

Chatter can still be heard in the background, but somehow it blended nicely with the lively sounds of night creatures. Although what I didn’t realize was the thump of approaching footsteps behind me. 

“Hey,” muttered a hushed voice. 

The instant I recognized the presence, my entire body stiffened. The inside lights cast a shadow on the wooden porch I sat on, displaying a lanky silhouette on the ground. I couldn’t bring myself to move, let alone speak. My tongue was pierced against the roof of my mouth, petrified to unpack the situation at hand. 

He responded to my silence with a reluctant step towards me. Even in our circumstances, I can still feel his presence lingering on the soft skin of my back, making the little hairs stand. Our proximity was slowly closing in with every soft thud until he was eventually situated next to me. 

I unconsciously looked over my shoulder, opposite of him, to avoid his curious stare. I shut my eyes, isolating myself in my mind in the hopes that this was a dream. But the frequent trembles of my stomach told me otherwise. 

“Y/N?” he called out delicately. “Y/N...please,” he attempted to brush my hand with his fingers, but by instinct, I retracted them with swiftness. A bolt of electricity shot up my arm from Spencer’s touch, a cruel remeberance of the fervor we used to share. My fingertips shivered at the loss of contact, but the static sensation remained. 

“Y/N, I know that you probably don’t want to talk to me--and you have every right to…” he babbled. “...but I just--please just listen to me.” 

But I refused, every word that fell from his supple lips made the echo in my head boisterous. 

I was a mistake. 

I was a mistake. 

I was a mistake. 

I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling my abdomen clench in misery. The sensation traveled deep into my chest, pulling me in different directions. My throat cinched up, and the coldness wandered all over my body. Every muscle in me cried out in anguish, unable to persevere through the exhaustion that I’ve let consume me. 

“Y/N-” 

“Please just go…” I whispered, choking on the aching sobs rising in my esophagus. 

“I’ll leave...I promise,” he muttered in a pained voice. “But just...please, let me say this.” 

Newfound tears threatened to spill over my eyes, the sorrow in his voice creating a void in me. With the little compassion I had left, I turned around facing his direction. Although I didn’t dare to acknowledge his gaze, instead, I settled my attention on the wood below. 

“I know that it’s hard to get through to me, and I know I get stuck in my head,” he began, lowering his head. “You and I both know how hopeless it gets being alone there.” 

He twiddled his fingers as he spoke, an implication of his distress. An infinitesimal part of me still yearned to comfort the man, to ease his worries away, but I didn’t have to courage to do so. 

“When I get into that space, I get...I get frightened by the doubts that my mind conjures up,” he admits. “Everyone looks at me as the genius--the expectation given to me. But, only you and JJ look at me for who I am instead of who I must be for the team.” 

His voice started to crack in between his words, his deliverance laced with dejection and bitterness. I rang my fingers over the textured floorboards, distracting myself from the swelling ache in my heart. 

“But you Y/N…” he whispered, gazing at me with a rueful adoration. “You alone bring so much light into the obscurity of my mind. You...you make all my pains go away with nothing but a glance of your smile, ” he chuckled pitifully. “Y/N, you-” 

“You told me I was mistake…” I croaked, ignoring the sharp twinge in my throat. 

I finally met his gaze with a weary expression. His hair was slightly disheveled, and the bags encompassing his eyes were prominent. But it was the torment evident in them that was the most striking. His irises failed to gleam of their usual autumn hazel, and the golden specks scattered across the tender hue were dull. 

“I...I know,” he struggled to admit. “But, I was wrong-” 

“You...you told me I was your biggest mistake,” I reiterated, my voice coming off shaky and unstable. “Reid, you…” I paused, my pitch elevating as a whimper loomed to escape my lips. “You hurt me...so much, Reid.” 

I scoffed, my vision going blurry from impending tears. Spencer hung his head in remorse, combing his hand through his curls as he attempted to keep his composure. An uneasy silence ensued that not even the blissful sounds of wildlife can mask the tautness in the air. 

“I...I know,” he muttered quietly. “JJ, she told me the truth after our...after what happened at the station during the case,” he confessed. “You did all that...you took all the blame, just, so I had someone to be there with me.” 

I sighed, shutting my eyes at his admission. “I didn’t...I couldn’t bear the thought of you going through it alone,” I affirmed. 

“But you…” Spencer paused, shaking his head at himself. “You...did it all alone.” 

All of my guards fell at the utterance of his words. My heart throbbed, and my chest ultimately gave out. Suppressed sobs wracked my entire being, slipping past my tired lips with ease. My head felt faint, and my shoulders slumped. Agony coursed throughout my body, feeling it prick every inch of my skin. 

Spencer shifted next to me in an instant, engulfing me in his arms. There I wailed and cried every tear that was humanly possible. I set free the entrapped painful sentiments I’ve burrowed under my stubbornness, and I let the numbness drift out of my body. All that was left was the carcass of my grief and an apprehensive heart. 

“I’m sorry Y/N...I’m so sorry,” Spencer repeated, cradling me back and forth while he tried to mask his whimpers. 

For most of the night, we stayed in each other’s embrace as the moonlight graced our figures. My face was delved into the cleft of his neck, and his chin laid snugly on my head. The rise and fall of my chest was still erratic, but it was in a much healthier state than before. Our combined breathing was the only distinguishable sound floating in the air after we had steadied ourselves. 

The party inside was subdued, and the chatter was nonexistent. The lights were still on, but it seemed that the team had moved elsewhere to celebrate their festivities. Before long, the quiet around us ceased as Spencer broke the silence. 

“Y/N?” Spencer whispered. 

I nudged my face further into his neck, prompting him to continue. 

“What I said...the horrible things that I told you, you have to know that they’re not true,” he lamented, taking my balled-up fists into his palms. “Y/N, you’re far from a mistake. The biggest mistake I’ve made to date is making you believe that,” he croaked. 

“Spencer...what you did-” 

“Wait--just--let me finish,” he nodded, playing with my hands. “Y/N, you bring color into what I see...yo-you bring color into everything that I do,” he professed, stumbling over his words. “You make it easy to wake up every day and do what we need to do because I know I get to wake up next to you.” 

His lips began to tremble, and his hands began to shake. Instinctively, I cupped his hands and brought them close to my chest. 

“I…I love you...so much, Y/N,” he whimpered. “And I hate myself for making you feel like you were comparable to anyone else, or that you were insignificant.” 

I pressed small kisses to his knuckles, knowing that it would calm him down. I felt a pang hit my torso in Spencer’s discomfort, igniting the part of me that longed to console him. I observed the collapse of his stature and the decomposed state of his demeanor, his appearance visibly in plight. 

“Truth be told, Y/N. You are the most significant thing in my life…” he whispered. “You make me whole.” 

As he finished his declaration, tears welled up in both our eyes for the last time. “Spence…” I breathed, basking in the warmth that his eyes radiated, despite his desperation. 

“Loving you...is one of the greatest thing I will ever do.”

-

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