#Do NOT get me started on the legitimacy of some of these medics because it's sus as hell | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notmuchtoconceal · 1 year

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Bro, where do you get all your power to produce continuously? Your blog is like a high-performance testicle full of testosterone. Do you put all your sexual energy into writing? How many cumshots do you have a day?

don't cum. don't eat. don't sleep.

my balls gotta be full, my belly's gotta be empty, and my head's gotta be somewhere between wakin and dreamin.

cumming makes me unhappy. food makes me unhappy. sleep as the brother of death is the course of my inevitable submission, but now is is not time. i basically want nothing in my sister (system) at any given time except water, coffee and increasingly regulated dosages of the sacred grass. the sacred grass is worthless if overindulged.

there are some things which abstinence are best for and some things which a rhythmic loosening and tightening of restriction are best for.

only you know your own habits, inclinations and temperament well enough to make informed decisions about yourself. you ought consider a medical authority more like a form of consultation than a master to submit to. not to shit on any hardworking professionals, of course, this is purely a systemic critique -- your doctors are the same products of the book-based ideological control apparatus which prioritizes singular, orthodox approaches because our current medical establishment too grew out of complicity with the church.

as a white man, you can believe me when i tell you it's a legitimate critique when women and other minorities say their doctors don't listen to em cause they think they know better.

this is because your doctor was trained to think his book is more correct than what your body is telling you, and your education trained you to think that what an authority figure says is more true than what your body is telling you. they all have a vested interest in keeping the same opinions because they all spent money on an education to give them not only the knowledge, but the legitimacy to practice, and so they are Very Invested In Their Ideas and How They Do Things.

ex falso quod libet. that's a magical spell that tells you you'll fuck up if you don't get your facts straight. that's why it's good to ask questions, folks. if you don't know why you're doing what you're doing, you might do something wrong or not even wanna do it. being trained to be obedient has done you a tremendous disservice.

it is not disobedience to ask questions.

if someone makes you feel disobedient for asking questions, it's because they don't want you to think.

you're an adult. you deserve the real reasons for things.

to cycle back from this detour -- people'd always look at me like i was a crazy person when i told em fasting works for me. they think it's dangerous. they think it's unhealthy. they say i gotta learn moderation. they're cowards who can't think for themselves.

motherfucker, you do not wanna know how i ended up over 300lbs. if i started telling you, you'd start squirmin and beg me to change the subject. you wouldn't know how to react. the pain is too intense, complicated and fragmentary. you don't know what it's like to live with a woman who cooks too much because she buys too much because she only knows how to make people happy with food and if her husband ain't screamin at her while she's cookin, he's screamin at her when we're at the table and he's got the tactical advantage of bein in the other room. this is the routine. for years. a sham famly where she wants to look normal and cry and he keeps fuckin destroying every iota of her self-esteem to keep her needy, and so the Children Could Never Be Known for the Parents are At War With Themselves and With Each Other.

i will not elaborate further. this is the tip of the ice-burg. you cannot imagine what years of this, compounded with the myriad other problems, inevitably does to the human soul.

how could you? i didn't. i spent a good chunk of the last two years reckoning with shit i'd never considered or long forgotten.

i think too much, tho and i'm sensitive.

that was probably a perfectly normal situation for you, that's what everyone always told me was the case.

was everyone's dad just as bad as my dad and i'm just a weak-minded pussy bitch who can't deal? is everyone else a hero for being able to put up with this constant stream of incomprehensible abuse day-in, day-out, and i need to go and kiss his ass even harder for putting up with me? nobody wants an anxious crying pussy fag baby for a son. why aren't you already a man? why aren't you already making me happy? what, you expect me to put work into you? fuckin feed and clothe you, ain't that enough fucker?

i dunno, bro. you can hear your dad screaming down the block like -- three or four times a week every couple months. it's pretty regular and has only gotten worse as he's aged? other dads, you know -- there's like two or three you hear screaming maybe once every... couple years? yeah, i think you just need to accept that your family situation is abnormal and unsalvageable. neither of your parents have ever been able to take care of you, and that was the correct observation. other people who told you that you needed to obey, forgive and be thankful to them were wrong. you can't have a meaningful relationship with someone who wants to live in an alternate reality where the thing that's hurting you all isn't.

yeah, so my obesity -- it weren't fuckin genetics, it was my mentally ill family situation. most of my life my obesity seemed impossible to overcome because i was attributing it to immutable and unchangeable facets of my biology, but nope.

i was fat cause i kept listenin to my ma and my was bad for me.

fuckin simple.

other people constantly steer you wrong because they want to protect themselves, and yes, on some level they do enjoy watching you fail, as benevolent as they may seem, because they don't like that they "had" to fail, and seeing you attain your potential will hurt them.

everyone has been hurt by everyone else and when you go off the handle ranting about "other people" what you're really referring to is this collective malaise of toxic mediocrity borne of the desire to forgive others in expectance of forgiveness for themselves, which seeks to forgive perpetually not to ease the pain of overcoming, but to descend unto sloth and despair inevitably. it's not about blaming other people, bro. it's about asking people to empower themselves. when you hear "personal responsibility" you should think "empower yourself". it means the exact same thing, but one packet of words makes you feel good and wanna do things cause sometimes pleasure matters more to you than truth or reason cause it's easier.

you don't have a deep-seated aching need to be understood because you've been ignored and contradicted or projected upon your whole life, naw. you just wanna be special.

this isn't you giving yourself permission to express your real thoughts, and leading by example how others might do the same, it's just boasting. you're the resentful loser with a big ego!

don't stop and think for a second that maybe this idea where everyone ought be de-individualized pawns serving power is normal is in fact completely abnormal?

meanwhile, as for that moderation comment?

oh yeah. i did learn to eat moderately.

i played a game with myself where i would only have one piece of candy a day instead of five or six and it worked.

it was way easier when i could look at the candy as a periodic indulgence instead of a poison i needed to totally discontinue because it was widespread and ruining my life.

people who think you're an asshole are telling you they're the asshole, it's true. they mistake your energy for hostility.

they didn't spend most of their twenties looking at people who were cut-off and alone and going "oh, maybe they're just going through something" cause it confused you when people said "she's a bitch, she won't talk to me" because you see a person in pain who needs help and not a hole to fuck. once more, being so well-endowed psychologically and physically, you can't know if that other person is projecting their selfishness onto you or if your big rippling muscular alpha body just read as selfish because you look like other men they want, and oh yeah, that's what they want from you anyway.

when there are massive rifts in your psyche, it's best to think of the process of unpacking and rationalizing as the gradual looping and tightening of a thread through the folds, bundling it up with a nice bow so it won't rip again except under vigorous endurance!

performance is love.

without listening, you cannot adjust the performance.

walk away from people who won't listen.

so, to wrap this up -- fasting is not only a fast, safe and effective way to lose fat, it will also hone your willpower. your fat is stored to be used. when you don't eat, you use it. your body is on a clock and expects food at regular times, you think it was that way in the wild? naw, bro. three square meals is a product of industrial modernity. you live outside of nature. in the wild, you'd eat a whole antelope at once, then wouldn't kill another one for awhile. your body was designed to handle stress. people who compulsively tell you to avoid stress are overcorrecting in the opposite. stress is good. stress is normal. stress is inescapable. live at a level you're comfortable with.

furthermore, aside from the documented cognitive benefits of feelings of spiritual oneness, prolonged fasting induces autophagy, the process by which your body begins to eat itself for sustenance.

people act like if you don't eat for two days all your gains are gonna wither away. bro, wtf? dude, the muscles that you use are gonna be preserved. your body ain't stupid. it's gonna eat that shit it don't need first, like -- loose skin. yeah, i was also hesitant to lose the weight for years cause i thought i'd end up looking like a garbage bag, but naw bro. 110lbs down and i got almost no loose skin. my body ate it for sustenance while i wrote walls of text on tumblr.

turns out when you stop ingesting garbage, you stop being it.

if you leave yourself alone and do what you're actually supposed to do instead of what other people tell you to do, your body and mind'll sort out the contradictions on their own because your body wants to be healthy and is always striving to reattain a state of equilibrium.

don't let people talk you into eating garbage, bro.

don't matter if it's the american way of life.

#words words words #good ask bro

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hiitsdifferent · 2 years

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since you seem to be slamming Dr. Curry as non-board certified, here's your friendly neighborhood reminder that many psychiatrists are NOT board certified and it has no bearing on their ability to treat or on their legitimacy as a psychiatrist. It's just extra qualifications. National Library of Medicine has several peer reviewed studies that found that board certified psychiatrists have statistically no difference in quality of care vs non board certified psychiatrists.

idk where you're getting your info but I do enjoy how much you seem to love slamming JD over being racist/homophobic etc. when you list yourself as a gryffindor so you clearly have some affinity for JK fucking Rowling but go off with your weird performative activism ig.

i'm not sure if you're an adult but you really don't seem to have much legal/medical knowledge if you're slamming people for being non-board certified or for having a drink at a business dinner. Dr. Curry was very professional and stayed in her lane. Meanwhile the experts on Heard's side used gendered language (Hughes constantly referred to men as abusers and women as victims), and armchair diagnosed JD (substance abuse disorder? NPD?) without ever once even speaking to him.

There's also studies of how being board certified is essential in healthcare work because it is valuable in determining the experience and expertise of someone in their field - like Curry not having any experience in intimate partner violence seems pretty damn important as she's giving testimony in a trial based on domestic violence.

Hughes using she/her to describe Amber and he/him to describe Johnny doesn't strike me as having gender bias in her career, but pertains to this case - not all cases of domestic violence. Interesting to bring up gendered abuse since the fellowship of incels lingering in the Depp standom have been making remarks about all women being liars, mentally ill, gold diggers, etc. can't be trust since 2016.

Not being obsessed with changing my profile makes me a terf? I also list myself as 'avenger.' A majority of Marvel movies are pro-imperialism, so I must be an imperialist too. I'm a huge Captain America fan who pretty much stands for old Americana Americanism, so I must be a MAGA. I also list Swiftie but have varying opinions on how much she is raging narcissist and used the LGBTQ+ community for clout on her Lover album - should I add that as a disclaimer on profile too? lol you got me

*thanks for reminding me - I changed Gryffindor to hobbit since i'm much more into LOTR too. Since Amazon is starting their own series, I must be a pro-Jeff Bezos stan too?

#asked answered next #anti johnny depp #amber heard

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jayoctodot · 3 years

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The Silent Patient vs The Maidens

I will start by saying that I understand the appeal of these novels as page-turners. They are easy to read and if you want a twisty reveal at the end, you will probably be entertained and satisfied. That being said, I am SO CONFUSED by the near-universal adoration of The Silent Patient and the reasonably positive reception of The Maidens. The weaknesses of the two are strikingly similar, as well, which doesn’t give me much hope of seeing improvement from this guy, though I am intrigued to see whether he keeps repeating the same (apparently successful!!) patterns. These books were at least super fun to hate.

(For context, I read The Maidens for a bookclub I'm in, because several of the members had read and loved The Silent Patient, and one of them gave me a copy of the latter to read on my own time. I loathed The Maidens and then read The SP for comparative purposes. And because I'm a masochist, apparently.)

SPOILER WARNING! Do not read on unless you've finished both books (or unless you care not for spoilers). Sorry if it gets a bit shouty.

Here are the similar weaknesses I noticed in both:

PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGY

-> Weirdly similar “group therapy” scenes early on where a cartoonishly unstable patient arrives late, disrupts the meeting by throwing something into the middle of the circle, and is asked to join the group after the therapist(s) speechify on the importance of boundaries (HA! None of these therapists would know an appropriate boundary if it kicked them in the ass) and debate whether to “allow” the patient to join. Both scenes are so transparent in their design to establish the credibility/legitimacy of the narrators as therapists, but instead both Theo and Mariana come off as super patronizing. The protagonists are less and less believable as therapists at the stories progress (though at least Theo’s incompetence is explained away by the “twist” at the end; Mariana, on the other hand, is confronted in the opening pages of the novel by a patient who has self-harmed PRETTY extensively, and rather than ensure he get proper medical attention, she essentially throws him a first aid kit and tosses him out the door so she can pour herself a glass of wine and call her niece... and it devolves from there).

-> Ongoing insistence throughout the narrative that one’s childhood trauma entirely explains the warped/dysfunctional way a character behaves or views the world, which is why the books go out of their way to give EVERY potentially violent character a traumatic childhood; when Theo insists that no one ever became an abuser who hadn’t been abused themselves, I wanted to throw the book across the room. (That is a MYTH, SIR. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY.)

-> Female murderers whose pathology boils down to “history of depression” and “traumatized by a male loved one/family member.” Because, as we all know, depression + abuse = murderer!

-> The “therapy” depicted in both books is laughable and so so unrealistic, mostly because neither narrators function as therapists so much as incompetent detectives, obsessively pursuing a case they have no place pursuing (or skill to pursue - both just happen across every clue mostly by way of clunky conversation with all the people who can provide precisely the snippet of info to send them along to the next person, and the next… until all is revealed in a tired, cliched “twist”). Their constant Psych 101 asides were so tiresome and weirdly dated (also, the constant harping on countertransference got so ridiculous that at one point during "therapy" Theo literally attributes his headache and a particular emotion he feels to Alicia, as though the contents of her head are being broadcast directly into his mind... and I'm PRETTY SURE that's not how it works???)

CHARACTERS

-> Psychotherapist narrators with abusive fathers and pretensions of being Sherlock Holmes, which results in both characters crossing ALL KINDS of ethical lines as they invade the personal lives of everyone even tangentially connected to their cases (and, in Theo's case, violate all kinds of patient confidentiality. Yeah, yeah, by the end, that's the least of his offenses, but before you get there, it's baffling that NO ONE is calling him out on this).

-> All female characters are either elderly with hilariously bad advice, monstrous hulking brutes, or beautiful bitches (except for ~MARIANA~, who is Bella Swan-esque in her unawareness of her own attractiveness, despite multiple men trying to get with her almost immediately after meeting her. I'm so tired of beautiful female characters being oblivious to their own hotness. Are we meant to believe all mirrors and male attention have escaped their notice? If it’s to make them “relatable,” this tactic really fails with me).

-> All characters of color are shallow, cartoonish side characters, and most of them are depicted as unsympathetic minor antagonists (the Sikh Chief Inspector in The Maidens continuously drinks tea from an ever-present thermos, and his only other notable characteristic is his instant dislike of Mariana, whom he VERY RIGHTLY warns to stay out of the investigation that she is VERY MUCH compromising… the Caribbean manager of the Grove is universally disliked by her staff for enforcing stricter safety regulations at the bafflingly poorly run mental institution, because HOW DARE SHE. There's a very clear vibe that we're supposed to dislike these characters and share the protagonists' indignation, but honestly Sangha/Stephanie were completely in the right for trying to shut down their wildly inappropriate investigations).

-> "Working class" characters (or basically anyone excluded from the comfortably upper-crust, educated main cadre of characters) are few and far between in both stories, but when they show up, he depicts them as such caricatures. We got Elsie the pathologically lying housekeeper in the Maidens, who is enticed to share her bullshit with cake, and then a TOOTHLESS LEPRECHAUN DEALING DRUGS UNDER A BRIDGE in the SP. I kid you not, a man described as having the body of a child, the face of Father Time, and no front teeth, emerges from beneath a bridge and offers to sell Theo some "grass." I was dyinggg.

-> There are no characters to root for. Anywhere. Partly because they’re all so thinly drawn — and because we’re clearly supposed to view almost ALL of them as potential suspects, so they’re ALL weird, creepy, or incompetent in some way.

-> The flimsiest of flimsy motives, both for the narrators and the murderers. Theo fully would have gotten away with his involvement in the murder if he hadn't gone out of his way to work at the Grove and "treat" Alicia and his justification for doing so is pretty weak; his rapid descent into stalking and murder fantasy and his random ass decision to "expose" Alicia's husband as a cheater with a spur-of-the-moment home invasion and staged attempted homicide is ONLY justified if the reader hand waves it away as WELP, HE'S CRAZY, I GUESS (after all, he DID have an abusive father and a history of mental illness, and in Michaelides novels, that's ALL YOU NEED to become a violent psycho). I guess we're lucky Mariana didn't also start dropping bodies (because the logic of his fictional universe says she should definitely be a murderer by now... maybe that'll be his Maidens sequel?). But she especially had NO reason to randomly turn detective - and she kept trying to justify it by saying she needed to re-enter the world or that Sebastian would want her to (??), even though she had no background in criminal psychology... or even a particular fondness for mysteries (really, I would've accepted ANYTHING to explain her dogged obsession with the case. WHY were Sebastian and Zoe so certain she would insert herself into the investigation just because one of Zoe's friends was the first victim? WHY?). As for Zoe and Alicia, their motives are mere suggestions: they were both abused and manipulated, and voila! Slippery slope to murder.

WRITING STYLE

-> Incessant allusions to Greek tragedy and myth, apparently to provide a sophisticated gloss over the bare-bones writing style, which opts more for telling than showing and frequently indulges in hilariously bizarre analogies. Credit where credit is due — the references to Greek myth are less clunky in the SP, and I liked learning about the Alcestis play/myth, which I hadn’t heard of before - but OMG the entire characterization of Fosca, who we are meant to believe is a professor of Greek tragedy at one of the most respected universities on the planet, is just absurd. His "lecture" on the liminal in Greek tragedy is essentially the Wikipedia page on the Eleusinian Mysteries capped off with some Hallmark-card carpe diem crap. The lecture hall responds with raucous applause, clearly never having heard such vague genius bullshit before.

-> Super clunky and amateurish narrative device of interludes written by another character; Sebastian’s letter reads like a mashup of Dexter monologues and Clarice’s memory of the screaming sheep, but by FAR the worse offender is Alicia’s diary, where we’re supposed to believe she painstakingly recorded ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, BEAT-BY-BEAT DIALOGUE, even when she’s just been DRUGGED TO THE GILLS with morphine and has mere moments of consciousness left… and even before that, she literally takes the time to write “He's trying the windows and doors! ...Someone’s inside! Someone’s inside the house! ETC ETC” when she thinks her stalker has broken in downstairs. WHO DOES THAT?)

-> Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue is so bad. Based on his bio, Michaelides got a degree in screenwriting, which makes his terrible dialogue even more baffling.

-> HILARIOUSLY rendered voyeur scenes where the narrators spy on couples having sex. Such unintentionally awkward descriptions. First we had Kathy’s climax sounds through the trees and then the bowler hat carefully placed on a tombstone before the gatekeeper plows a student. Again, I died.

PLOT/"TWIST"

-> The CONSTANT red herrings make for such an exhausting read. Michaelides drops anvils with almost every character that are so obviously meant to designate them as suspects in our minds. There is absolutely no subtlety in his misdirections.

-> The “crossover” scene between the SP and The Maidens makes no sense - when in the timeline does Mariana’s story overlap with Theo’s? They confer just before Theo starts working at the Grove, obviously (though Mariana appears to be the one who alerts Theo to the job opening there? Whereas in the SP, Theo has been obsessively tracking Alicia since the murder and had already planned to apply to work there?), but then are we supposed to believe that while Theo has been psychotically pursuing his warped quest to “help” Alicia, he’s also been diligently treating Zoe, so invested in her case that he repeatedly reaches out to Mariana to get her to visit Zoe and even writes Mariana a lengthy letter to convince her to do so??? And then a couple days after The Maidens ends, Theo is arrested???

-> But the thing I really did hate the most is how Michaelides treats his female murderers (who are both also victims themselves) as mere means to deploy a “twist”; there’s no moment spared to encourage our sympathy for Zoe, who was groomed and manipulated by the only trusted father figure in her life, and even after spending a decent amount of time getting to know Alicia via her ridiculous diary, where it’s so apparent that she’s been demeaned, objectified, manipulated, gaslit, and/or used by EVERY man in her life, she’s sent packing to spend the rest of her days in a coma… HOW much more satisfying would it have been for her to succeed in exposing Theo and reclaiming her voice? But no, she basically rolls over when he comes to finish her off (SPEAKING OF — ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS INSTITUTE FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE????), writes one last diary entry, and drifts off forever. And then a couple pages of nothing later, the story is over. GOODNIGHT, ALICIA!

Both books kept me rolling throughout (by which I mean eye-rolling but also rotfl). Maybe I will check out his next effort — I’m morbidly curious what he’ll turn out. It does leave me wondering whether I should give up on thriller novels entirely, though. Are many of the weaknesses of these novels just characteristic of the genre? Maybe I'm just holding these books to unfair standards? I'm mostly only familiar with thriller films — many of which I think are amazing — but maybe you can get away with more in a film than you can in a novel.

...I really only intended to write a handful of bullet points, but more and more kept coming to mind as I wrote, to the point where subheadings became necessary. Whoopsie.

#the maidens #the silent patient #book review #alex michaelides #thrillers #books

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 3 years

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I feel so invisible. If we ever get seen, it’s not US getting seen, not all of us. It’s just aces. And I love them, they deserve acknowledgement and representation and love and more, but I’m aro. Just aro. Not allo, not ace, just aro. And all it does is get ignored. The only time I see something akin to me and my identity be talked about is through asexuality, through misconceptions and erasure. It feels like even if people are learning to care about asexuality, no one cares about aromanticism. No one bothers. I have never felt more invisible in my life. It’s just so depressing. We’re constantly ignored. I’m constantly ignored. And I’m so tired of it, man. I’d feel guilty over my jealousy of aces, but feel much too pathetically sad for anything else to really seep through. I’m just so tired. I can’t even make myself angry anymore. At most just bitter, and tired. So, so tired.

You're definitely right that aro people are often treated as an afterthought anywhere outside the aro community. And aces do get a lot more visibility/rep/attention, etc. And it's absolutely reasonable to be frustrated and angry. Aros who aren't ace, or who identify only as aro, especially deserve a lot more and get left behind a lot.

I do have some words that may give you hope though. So I've been identifying as aroace over a decade now. And it is ridiculous how much I've seen both communities grow. So back then when I was first questioning, the aro community was a blip inside the ace community (and I honestly think this is one of the reasons it took me so much longer to figure out I was aro). And the ace community was a few online communities in places like LJ and AVEN fighting for any bit of legitimacy or acceptance. Pride was a hostile place, nobody outside this community was likely to know what asexuality was or that it was even a possible thing. Your doctor was likely to react by assuming there was a medical issue that needed treated. The only rep anywhere was a character on Shorthand Street, a New Zealand soap opera.

Five years ago I started this blog, and the aro community was just starting to find its feet separate from the ace community. I remember when I started posting I could only find a couple of blogs for aros that weren't also for aces (and I looked), and one stopped posting just a few weeks into me finding them. Another posted very sporadically. There was definitely no rep except for the very rare aroace character (even now most mainstream ace characters are alloro).

Now the aro community, even just here on Tumblr, is very active and thriving. I'm seeing aro rep all the time, especially in books and podcasts. I'm reading a book series right now where a character is defined word-of-god only as being aro (Amos in the Expanse). Obviously the aro community still has a very long way to go. And aros are going to need to keep fighting. But I just continue to be amazed at how fast things are moving and how quickly we're gaining recognition (anyone else see the aro flag on Blues Clues in that Pride song they did at the beginning of the month?). Personally I'm really excited to see where this community is in another 5 years.

So yeah, be angry, because where things are now is not good enough. And aros deserve better. But keep fighting too, because I think good things are coming.

All the best!

#vent post

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thenonbinarydetective · 3 years

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For the Hardy Boys Anniversary I thought I'd share some of my favorite absolutely ridiculous moment from the books and if you have any of your own, feel free to add on.

Is this another book facts thing?

Let's call it a Book Facts Anniversary Special!

Starting off strong with the Hardy Boys have BEEN TO SPACE

THEY SOLVED A MYSTERY IN SPACE

THEY'RE ASTRODETECTIVE

INTERSTELLAR INVESTIGATORS

Frank also threatened to leave a guy in space while they were fighting outside the shuttle.

In another book, Frank and Joe are looking for their friend whose family is in witness protection and had to go into hiding because the criminals are after them again. They're being helped by two FBI agents

That is until one of the FBI agents is ATTACKED BY A BEAR and both have to leave so he can get medical attention. Obviously, leaving the two teenage boys in charge of getting the family to safety. How do those FBI agents explain leaving two children in charge of this mission? This shouldn't even work in fiction

Later in the same book, the criminals that were chasing the family get killed in a rock slide and they just don't acknowledge it. They drop their friend off, go home and discover that their father can cook. They watched two men die like it was nothing

This ridiculous moment is medical and I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed at Frank or at Fenton with this one.

Fenton gets stabbed in a dirty shack on the beach and instead of taking him to the hospital, Frank and Joe decide to take care of it themselves. Which would be fine, if Frank didn’t use water from a rusty pump to clean the wound. He boils it, but still,,, They're in Bayport when this happens. They don't need frontier medicine.

Moving on to Joe getting stung by 45 hornets and promptly passing out from the pain as well as the venom.

As someone who was stung by an entire nest of hornets as a child, the didn't happen to me. I was confused about the legitimacy of this medical issue. I've decided that I was stronger as an 8 year old than Joe Hardy as a 17 year old.

Also while that happened, Frank got his leg cut open by a piece of shrapnel from an explosion about a mile away from that.

Although Joe later call their dad to tell him everything's under control. Fenton and I both know his sons are absolute disaster magnets like him.

I made this joke awhile ago, but still I can't believe that there is a book that implies the boys are psychic and may have been using their abilities the entire series and then it's never addressed again.

Also I'm 90% certain that their psychic friend Colin is gay and flirting with Frank.

And the Frank flirts with him back, because there is no other way describe the part where he pins him (Colin) to a wall.

Speaking of guys flirting. There are so many moments that come off gayer than intended. Guys basically flirt with them all the time and they have responded positively.

This isn't the most ridiculous, but this is just my way of wanting to talk about how they sometimes describe Captain America AKA Ned Nickerson in Super Mysteries.

They talk about how handsome, muscular, and charming he is and I know they meant it as a jealousy thing cause they wanted Nancy,,,but sometimes I'm not sure which they really wanted.

Frank running out their room to chase a bad guy in his underwear,,,this didn't happen in their home though. No this happened in a hotel,,,,in Germany.

Joe chases down a bad guy while eating ice cream

Randomly becoming volunteer firefighters for one book

Frank being held hostage with the President of the United States for a ransom of a billion dollars

and who was holding them hostage, you might ask? A magician. A magician was holding the president and Frank Hardy hostage for a ransom of a billion dollars

They also later entered an extreme sports competition with the president's son.

Speaking of competitions, Joe once joined a stunt competition with professional stuntman to protect his friend and also because he's an Aries™

but found professional stuntwork (such as jumping out of plans and driving runaway eighteen wheelers) too tame compared to what he usually does.

Not specifically about them, but I find it a little morbidly funny that their friend Biff Hooper nearly died over football. Technically there was more to it, but when you boil it down, he was nearly murdered over football.

It's ridiculous how big Frank's tiddies are on this cover.

Frank and Joe literally tie a man to his own homemade electric chair and threaten to shock him if he doesn’t give them information. They’re lying this entire threat, but oh my god that’s messed up

That one time Frank literally pushed an EMT that was taking care of an injured Joe so that he could do it instead. OMG Frank curb your overprotectiveness for five minutes so the trained medical professional could do their job

There is honestly so much more and I love these boys so much, but I think I need to cut it off here

#I don't care how long this is #sorry not sorry #the hardy boys #hardy boys #hardy boys books #I kinda remember where these are from but this is mostly from memory #frank hardy #joe hardy #nancy drew #nancy drew games #her interactive #clue crew #fenton hardy #ned nickerson #biff hooper

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french-obeyme-twistedwonderland · 3 years

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Eng Malleus Draconia X Readerfem! lemon

Enjoy your reading.

Lemon/nsfw

___

- M-Mistress," moaned Malleus for the umpteenth time.

- No, Malleus, I tease. You must not come.

- I am... at my limit... !

- In that case.

I move my hand away from my husband's crotch, who is once again grumbling in frustration. This will be the third time I've stopped in such a good way. Today it's a punishment. Why do you ask, it turns out that Malleus frustrated me by stopping several times when I was about to cum. He stopped when called, even on my birthday, even on our wedding anniversary. All because a maid begs him at the door. I am jealous of the attention he gets. And he feels it very well but won't apologise. I know she's probably eavesdropping, I plan to make Malleus scream for me.

- T.P, begs Malleus. Allow me to cum, I beg you... !

- Why am I going to listen to you, I ask, pressing my foot against his manhood. You didn't do it for me. And curtsy to me, I am your mistress, the one who dominates the dragon who has his arms and legs tied.

- 'My apologies,' Malleus stammers, moaning with guilty pleasure. Don't be angry, you are my queen, the one I love, the one I desire more than anything, just allow me to show you all the pleasure you give me.

- So stop going to another woman. Or I will think you no longer desire me and prefer another.

- Mistress would be jealous?

- Yes, I am jealous. Jealous of the attention you give to another. Jealous that you spend so much more time with one woman. Jealous and worried that you'll leave.

With each sentence I press a little harder, which makes him groan. When his face gets a bit serious, he swallows when he sees my sad face. Lately, I've been losing confidence in myself. Being a human in a kingdom full of fae is not easy. Some doubt my legitimacy to the throne, others my love for Malleus. They try to trap me and, although I know how to impose myself, they take my arguments apart. The nobles laugh at me, and rumours are spread about my origins to make me look horrible. So the fact that I feel as if the man I married is leaving with someone else seems terrifying.

- My treasure," Malleus murmured. I'm sorry I gave you that impression. I promise you, I will try to be more present and supportive, as you are.

- You swear you'll stop paying so much attention to this woman," I ask.

- I swear that I will put a distance between her and myself. My only queen and wife is T.P Draconia. Forgive me, mistress, and allow the deplorable person that I am to be forgiven by his dear wife.

- Um... Well, I guess I didn't-

Before I had finished my sentence, Malleus had freed himself from his bonds. I don't know how, but now he's on top of me kissing me wildly. His tongue seeps into me, playing with mine. His fangs nibble my lips, one of his hands holds my head and mouth open, while the other spreads one of my legs. When his frustration has subsided, Malleus runs his tongue over my neck. My dragon communicates a lot through little noises coming from deep in his throat.

At least, when he knows how to restrain himself.

With one stroke of his pelvis, his entire length spreads my walls and releases my voice with pleasure. When he starts to move, his deep vocal cords emit barely audible sounds. However, with experience, I have been able to spot them. Sometimes identifying their meaning. To cover my own, I kiss Malleus but he gently pulls my hair, tilting my head to hear my voice. Although embarrassed, I let him do what he wants with me. Usually I try to dominate him, but now I want to let him do it to me.

Realizing my condition, Malleus turns me around and puts me on all fours. Surprised by this gesture, I feel his hands grip my pelvis firmly. He pulls back, moving my pelvis forward. Just as I'm about to complain that I can't feel him anymore, my partner violently pulls my pelvis back and moves forward at the same time with a clattering sound. Gritting my teeth, my eyes widen in surprise and a small moan escapes my lips. Pressing me around him, Malleus lets out a sigh of relief before repeating the gesture several times.

- M-Malleus," I moan. This is too much... !

- Come for me," he coos. Show me the face of a queen who gets off with her king.

- I-!

Before I finish my sentence, a huge fire burns through my body as I release my voice. At Malleus's grumbling, I imagine it's the same for him. We catch our breath and I go to the bathroom afterwards. I have learned my lesson well, after sex, the toilet.

After a month, I can already see a great evolution on Malleus' side. For example, the girl who used to stick to him finally understood that there was no limit to what she could do. It is what she did, with my greater relief. Lilia made fun of me a little but congratulated me for having known to manage the problem. On their sides, Sebek and Silver continue to train the new recruits. After having had a medical check-up, I head for Malleus' office. This examination had always been postponed, either because there was no time or simply because I didn't want to be inspected like a lab rat. Especially because if there were any problems, the doctors and the court would throw stones at me.

Especially when it comes to offspring.

Again, I have confidence in myself. Especially after the results. Knocking gently on the solid wood door, I enter after having obtained the owner's permission. At his black wooden desk, Malleus was sitting on a comfortable black and green chair. Although it is not the throne, it still imposes by exceeding Malleus' seated height.

- My treasure," asked Malleus, raising his head. What's the matter?

- I had my medical examination today," I reply.

- Bring me some good news, please.

- Of course, my love, of course.

#malleus draconia #malleus lemon #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland #x reader

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justforbooks · 4 years

Photo

Yuval Noah Harari: the world after coronavirus

This storm will pass. But the choices we make now could change our lives for years to come

Humankind is now facing a global crisis. Perhaps the biggest crisis of our generation. The decisions people and governments take in the next few weeks will probably shape the world for years to come. They will shape not just our healthcare systems but also our economy, politics and culture. We must act quickly and decisively. We should also take into account the long-term consequences of our actions. When choosing between alternatives, we should ask ourselves not only how to overcome the immediate threat, but also what kind of world we will inhabit once the storm passes. Yes, the storm will pass, humankind will survive, most of us will still be alive — but we will inhabit a different world.

Many short-term emergency measures will become a fixture of life. That is the nature of emergencies. They fast-forward historical processes. Decisions that in normal times could take years of deliberation are passed in a matter of hours. Immature and even dangerous technologies are pressed into service, because the risks of doing nothing are bigger. Entire countries serve as guinea-pigs in large-scale social experiments. What happens when everybody works from home and communicates only at a distance? What happens when entire schools and universities go online? In normal times, governments, businesses and educational boards would never agree to conduct such experiments. But these aren’t normal times.

In this time of crisis, we face two particularly important choices. The first is between totalitarian surveillance and citizen empowerment. The second is between nationalist isolation and global solidarity.

Under-the-skin surveillance

In order to stop the epidemic, entire populations need to comply with certain guidelines. There are two main ways of achieving this. One method is for the government to monitor people, and punish those who break the rules. Today, for the first time in human history, technology makes it possible to monitor everyone all the time. Fifty years ago, the KGB couldn’t follow 240m Soviet citizens 24 hours a day, nor could the KGB hope to effectively process all the information gathered. The KGB relied on human agents and analysts, and it just couldn’t place a human agent to follow every citizen. But now governments can rely on ubiquitous sensors and powerful algorithms instead of flesh-and-blood spooks.

In their battle against the coronavirus epidemic several governments have already deployed the new surveillance tools. The most notable case is China. By closely monitoring people’s smartphones, making use of hundreds of millions of face-recognising cameras, and obliging people to check and report their body temperature and medical condition, the Chinese authorities can not only quickly identify suspected coronavirus carriers, but also track their movements and identify anyone they came into contact with. A range of mobile apps warn citizens about their proximity to infected patients.

This kind of technology is not limited to east Asia. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel recently authorised the Israel Security Agency to deploy surveillance technology normally reserved for battling terrorists to track coronavirus patients. When the relevant parliamentary subcommittee refused to authorise the measure, Netanyahu rammed it through with an “emergency decree”.

You might argue that there is nothing new about all this. In recent years both governments and corporations have been using ever more sophisticated technologies to track, monitor and manipulate people. Yet if we are not careful, the epidemic might nevertheless mark an important watershed in the history of surveillance. Not only because it might normalise the deployment of mass surveillance tools in countries that have so far rejected them, but even more so because it signifies a dramatic transition from “over the skin” to “under the skin” surveillance.

Hitherto, when your finger touched the screen of your smartphone and clicked on a link, the government wanted to know what exactly your finger was clicking on. But with coronavirus, the focus of interest shifts. Now the government wants to know the temperature of your finger and the blood-pressure under its skin.

The emergency pudding

One of the problems we face in working out where we stand on surveillance is that none of us know exactly how we are being surveilled, and what the coming years might bring. Surveillance technology is developing at breakneck speed, and what seemed science-fiction 10 years ago is today old news. As a thought experiment, consider a hypothetical government that demands that every citizen wears a biometric bracelet that monitors body temperature and heart-rate 24 hours a day. The resulting data is hoarded and analysed by government algorithms. The algorithms will know that you are sick even before you know it, and they will also know where you have been, and who you have met. The chains of infection could be drastically shortened, and even cut altogether. Such a system could arguably stop the epidemic in its tracks within days. Sounds wonderful, right?

The downside is, of course, that this would give legitimacy to a terrifying new surveillance system. If you know, for example, that I clicked on a Fox News link rather than a CNN link, that can teach you something about my political views and perhaps even my personality. But if you can monitor what happens to my body temperature, blood pressure and heart-rate as I watch the video clip, you can learn what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, and what makes me really, really angry.

It is crucial to remember that anger, joy, boredom and love are biological phenomena just like fever and a cough. The same technology that identifies coughs could also identify laughs. If corporations and governments start harvesting our biometric data en masse, they can get to know us far better than we know ourselves, and they can then not just predict our feelings but also manipulate our feelings and sell us anything they want — be it a product or a politician. Biometric monitoring would make Cambridge Analytica’s data hacking tactics look like something from the Stone Age. Imagine North Korea in 2030, when every citizen has to wear a biometric bracelet 24 hours a day. If you listen to a speech by the Great Leader and the bracelet picks up the tell-tale signs of anger, you are done for.

You could, of course, make the case for biometric surveillance as a temporary measure taken during a state of emergency. It would go away once the emergency is over. But temporary measures have a nasty habit of outlasting emergencies, especially as there is always a new emergency lurking on the horizon. My home country of Israel, for example, declared a state of emergency during its 1948 War of Independence, which justified a range of temporary measures from press censorship and land confiscation to special regulations for making pudding (I kid you not). The War of Independence has long been won, but Israel never declared the emergency over, and has failed to abolish many of the “temporary” measures of 1948 (the emergency pudding decree was mercifully abolished in 2011).

Even when infections from coronavirus are down to zero, some data-hungry governments could argue they needed to keep the biometric surveillance systems in place because they fear a second wave of coronavirus, or because there is a new Ebola strain evolving in central Africa, or because . . . you get the idea. A big battle has been raging in recent years over our privacy. The coronavirus crisis could be the battle’s tipping point. For when people are given a choice between privacy and health, they will usually choose health.

The soap police

Asking people to choose between privacy and health is, in fact, the very root of the problem. Because this is a false choice. We can and should enjoy both privacy and health. We can choose to protect our health and stop the coronavirus epidemic not by instituting totalitarian surveillance regimes, but rather by empowering citizens. In recent weeks, some of the most successful efforts to contain the coronavirus epidemic were orchestrated by South Korea, Taiwan and Singapore. While these countries have made some use of tracking applications, they have relied far more on extensive testing, on honest reporting, and on the willing co-operation of a well-informed public.

Centralised monitoring and harsh punishments aren’t the only way to make people comply with beneficial guidelines. When people are told the scientific facts, and when people trust public authorities to tell them these facts, citizens can do the right thing even without a Big Brother watching over their shoulders. A self-motivated and well-informed population is usually far more powerful and effective than a policed, ignorant population.

Consider, for example, washing your hands with soap. This has been one of the greatest advances ever in human hygiene. This simple action saves millions of lives every year. While we take it for granted, it was only in the 19th century that scientists discovered the importance of washing hands with soap. Previously, even doctors and nurses proceeded from one surgical operation to the next without washing their hands. Today billions of people daily wash their hands, not because they are afraid of the soap police, but rather because they understand the facts. I wash my hands with soap because I have heard of viruses and bacteria, I understand that these tiny organisms cause diseases, and I know that soap can remove them.

But to achieve such a level of compliance and co-operation, you need trust. People need to trust science, to trust public authorities, and to trust the media. Over the past few years, irresponsible politicians have deliberately undermined trust in science, in public authorities and in the media. Now these same irresponsible politicians might be tempted to take the high road to authoritarianism, arguing that you just cannot trust the public to do the right thing.

Normally, trust that has been eroded for years cannot be rebuilt overnight. But these are not normal times. In a moment of crisis, minds too can change quickly. You can have bitter arguments with your siblings for years, but when some emergency occurs, you suddenly discover a hidden reservoir of trust and amity, and you rush to help one another. Instead of building a surveillance regime, it is not too late to rebuild people’s trust in science, in public authorities and in the media. We should definitely make use of new technologies too, but these technologies should empower citizens. I am all in favour of monitoring my body temperature and blood pressure, but that data should not be used to create an all-powerful government. Rather, that data should enable me to make more informed personal choices, and also to hold government accountable for its decisions.

If I could track my own medical condition 24 hours a day, I would learn not only whether I have become a health hazard to other people, but also which habits contribute to my health. And if I could access and analyse reliable statistics on the spread of coronavirus, I would be able to judge whether the government is telling me the truth and whether it is adopting the right policies to combat the epidemic. Whenever people talk about surveillance, remember that the same surveillance technology can usually be used not only by governments to monitor individuals — but also by individuals to monitor governments.

The coronavirus epidemic is thus a major test of citizenship. In the days ahead, each one of us should choose to trust scientific data and healthcare experts over unfounded conspiracy theories and self-serving politicians. If we fail to make the right choice, we might find ourselves signing away our most precious freedoms, thinking that this is the only way to safeguard our health.

We need a global plan

The second important choice we confront is between nationalist isolation and global solidarity. Both the epidemic itself and the resulting economic crisis are global problems. They can be solved effectively only by global co-operation.

First and foremost, in order to defeat the virus we need to share information globally. That’s the big advantage of humans over viruses. A coronavirus in China and a coronavirus in the US cannot swap tips about how to infect humans. But China can teach the US many valuable lessons about coronavirus and how to deal with it. What an Italian doctor discovers in Milan in the early morning might well save lives in Tehran by evening. When the UK government hesitates between several policies, it can get advice from the Koreans who have already faced a similar dilemma a month ago. But for this to happen, we need a spirit of global co-operation and trust.

Countries should be willing to share information openly and humbly seek advice, and should be able to trust the data and the insights they receive. We also need a global effort to produce and distribute medical equipment, most notably testing kits and respiratory machines. Instead of every country trying to do it locally and hoarding whatever equipment it can get, a co-ordinated global effort could greatly accelerate production and make sure life-saving equipment is distributed more fairly. Just as countries nationalise key industries during a war, the human war against coronavirus may require us to “humanise” the crucial production lines. A rich country with few coronavirus cases should be willing to send precious equipment to a poorer country with many cases, trusting that if and when it subsequently needs help, other countries will come to its assistance.

We might consider a similar global effort to pool medical personnel. Countries currently less affected could send medical staff to the worst-hit regions of the world, both in order to help them in their hour of need, and in order to gain valuable experience. If later on the focus of the epidemic shifts, help could start flowing in the opposite direction.

Global co-operation is vitally needed on the economic front too. Given the global nature of the economy and of supply chains, if each government does its own thing in complete disregard of the others, the result will be chaos and a deepening crisis. We need a global plan of action, and we need it fast.

Another requirement is reaching a global agreement on travel. Suspending all international travel for months will cause tremendous hardships, and hamper the war against coronavirus. Countries need to co-operate in order to allow at least a trickle of essential travellers to continue crossing borders: scientists, doctors, journalists, politicians, businesspeople. This can be done by reaching a global agreement on the pre-screening of travellers by their home country. If you know that only carefully screened travellers were allowed on a plane, you would be more willing to accept them into your country.

Unfortunately, at present countries hardly do any of these things. A collective paralysis has gripped the international community. There seem to be no adults in the room. One would have expected to see already weeks ago an emergency meeting of global leaders to come up with a common plan of action. The G7 leaders managed to organise a video conference only this week, and it did not result in any such plan.

In previous global crises — such as the 2008 financial crisis and the 2014 Ebola epidemic — the US assumed the role of global leader. But the current US administration has abdicated the job of leader. It has made it very clear that it cares about the greatness of America far more than about the future of humanity.

This administration has abandoned even its closest allies. When it banned all travel from the EU, it didn’t bother to give the EU so much as an advance notice — let alone consult with the EU about that drastic measure. It has scandalised Germany by allegedly offering $1bn to a German pharmaceutical company to buy monopoly rights to a new Covid-19 vaccine. Even if the current administration eventually changes tack and comes up with a global plan of action, few would follow a leader who never takes responsibility, who never admits mistakes, and who routinely takes all the credit for himself while leaving all the blame to others.

If the void left by the US isn’t filled by other countries, not only will it be much harder to stop the current epidemic, but its legacy will continue to poison international relations for years to come. Yet every crisis is also an opportunity. We must hope that the current epidemic will help humankind realise the acute danger posed by global disunity.

Humanity needs to make a choice. Will we travel down the route of disunity, or will we adopt the path of global solidarity? If we choose disunity, this will not only prolong the crisis, but will probably result in even worse catastrophes in the future. If we choose global solidarity, it will be a victory not only against the coronavirus, but against all future epidemics and crises that might assail humankind in the 21st century.

Yuval Noah Harari is author of ‘Sapiens’, ‘Homo Deus’ and ‘21 Lessons for the 21st Century’

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #COVID-19 #Yuval Noah Harari

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writerscarlet · 3 years

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Story time, because I think this is important and I want to share it.

It happened last month, at the beginning of February. Back in December, the place I work at had gone through a renovation. During the renovation, the place was closed (obviously). In January we were ready to get back to running the place. The day before business could resume, my boss, me, and a lot of other people came in to clean up the place, stock shelves, etc. etc. in order to get thiggs ready for customers. A lot of people from other places came to help. Suffice to say, there was a crowd of people. So. Many. People. It was overwhelming, but I ignored my feelings on the matter.

About a week later I remember coming home from work that day. I remember turning on CSPAN's YouTube channel so that I could watch the joint session. Just as the first debate on the legitimacy of the ballots was beginning, I laid down for a nap. I left my computer on, knowing that the joint session wouldn't be over by the time I woke up.

It wasn't.

I woke up to a crowd of people breaking into the captiol building. And I wasn't okay. I constantly checked my phone, then my laptop, then my phone. I was worried. I was terrified. But I stayed in my room and didn't let anyone see that.

Biden was sworn in, weeks later. Looking back, it was my own naiveté that led me to believe that Biden being elected wouldn't affect me. When I think of the day he was sworn in, I think of the relief I felt. The feeling of, "oh, things were bad before and I knew it but I didn't think about it because it stressed me out but Biden is saying and doing things that sound... logical? Sane? He could be good for this country." Once again, I ignored the overwhelming emotions I had.

February 4th is a normal day. I go to work. I do my job. Then I get home. I take a nap, because work was busy and I didn't go to bed when I should have the night before. I wake up, start to clean my room and suddenly, I have a tight feeling in my chest. I feel tears in my eyes. I spend a solid five, maybe ten, minutes buried under my blankets, unable to understand why I'm crying but crying all the same.For several days, this event freaked me out. I ignored that it happened.

This year, I made a committment to my wellbeing. 2020 taught me that I need to stop ignoring it. I forced myself to think about why I suddenly started crying. I talked to a friend. And I finally understood what happened to me. I was overstimulated. I was emotionally overwhelmed, and I was shoving those feeling down. I was telling myself that I was no big deal ("I just had a bad dream that I couldn't remember," I told my friend.) that it was over and I'm okay.

Last month, I went into the doctor for my annual checkup and we reviewed a few things because I hadn't seen a family doctor since 2019 and the doctor I had seen before quit. I finally, finally had gathered up the courage to admit that I was having troubles related to ADHD. I told her it was affecting me and I needed help. I started to research ADHD, what it mean and what affects it has. I realize some things:

It's not normal to hyper fixate on certain things for days at a time while ignoring everything else.

It's not normal to feel sensitive to touch, to crowds.

Normal is seeing an open door and closing it so that the dogs don't get out or that the wildlife doesn't get in. Normal isn't freaking out that someone left the door open closing it could mean being wrong and getting embrassed and never being able to do anything right

It's not just "I can't concentrate" because while that is a factor, it's not the only one and just boiling down your symptoms to "I can't concentrate" does yourself a disservice.

Your sleeping habits are just as much affected by your mind as they are your body. Once again, hiding your problem isn't helping.

It's not normal to want to hide your "petty" problems from people

I've done a lot of thinking about this over the past month. I know I have a long way to go, especially in understanding how ADHD affects me. I was diagnosed as a child but stopped medicating, and talking to doctors about it, around age 10. As an adult, I realized what a terrible choice that was for my parents to make for me. I talked wiuh them about it and they said they thought I was "acting like a normal kid" and so I didn't need the pills or the extra help with school. I just needed be yelled at whenever I lost track of time and forgot to do something. I just needed to be punished whenever I forgot to do homework because I thought that reading this book until I finished it was more interesting. Maybe then I would get it instead of ignoring my hurt feelings and reading another book.

What I'm saying is: please look out for yourself. I know you think it'll be a bother to others to talk about this. You're probably thinking it right now. I can tell you it's not true but will you believe me? Probably not. I wouldn't. But just... talk to someone. Seriously. Just do it. Do it, get it over with. Because it can led to a better understanding and a better outlook.

#adhd #story time #true story

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

Text

Dr. Lauren Beach was 14 years old when she/they first came out as bisexual. Beach revealed the truth to friends and curious classmates at her/their suburban Michigan high school. The reactions varied, but not many were affirming.

"I experienced a lot of people who eroticized my attraction to femme people. It's like, 'oh, you're bi. That's so hot,'" says Beach, who has a Ph.D. in molecular, cellular, developmental biology and genetics.

Other friends asked Beach if she/they were doing it for attention. Beach says only three people, including Beach, at her/their school were openly out as queer. Instead of being embraced by them, Beach received flak for her/their sexuality.

"One of the other people there who was queer was like, 'You're a fence sitter! You're a switcher. You can't be trusted, you might date men after dating me," recalls Beach.

This kind of biphobia, which perpetuates stereotypes, hatred, and prejudices about bisexual people, is not uncommon — even (or sometimes especially) within the queer community. Stigma against bisexual people stems from a larger culture of homophobia, Rory Gory, digital marketing manager of the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization, wrote in an email to Mashable.

"Since bisexuals often move between straight and queer spaces, they are subjected to both homophobia and biphobia," Gory explains.

Bisexual people make up a sizable population within the LGBTQ community, given more than 50 percent of queer people in America identify as bisexual, according to the Williams Institute. The think tank does research on sexual orientation and gender identity to ensure stereotypes don't influence laws, policies, and judicial decisions. To be clear, bisexuality means a person is attracted to more than one gender. It doesn't mean bisexual people are more sexually active than others or going through a phase (two common myths).

As a teenager, Beach bought into stereotypes about bi people. But now 22 years later, she/they are a professor at Northwestern University where she/they focus on the health of bisexual people and works to dispel myths about them. Additionally, Beach co-founded the Chicago Bisexual Health Task Force, a coalition that advances the heath equity of bisexual people.

Mashable spoke with Beach, and representatives from advocacy organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), GLAAD, and the Trevor Project to learn about the unique challenges bisexual people face and how to be an ally.

1. View bisexual people as individuals

It's easy to lump a single group together but resist that trap. Like anyone else, bisexual people are individuals and their personalities and preferences vary. As Beach says, "there's not one single experience of bisexuality."

For example, Beach is asexual or ace. This means Beach doesn't experience sexual attraction, but she/they are romantically attracted to people across the gender spectrum. One can be both asexual and bi, with some asexual people preferring to identify as biromantic. Although many asexual people are not interested in having sex, some may choose to engage in sexual activity; asexual people can have varied preferences and experiences. Beach's experience doesn't mean all bisexual people feel the same way.

Getting to know more bisexual people can help scrub away your pre-conceived notions. You could already have friends who are bisexual and not know it. Be open about your intentions to learn so you can tear down your misconceptions about bisexual people, Beach recommends.

"You'd be surprised by how many people are like 'Oh, I'm actually bi. Let's talk," says Beach. "From understanding the breadth of experience, you personalize people."

2. Challenge negative stereotypes

As you expand your knowledge about bisexual people, speak up when you hear people perpetuating harmful misperceptions. Sometimes we don't even know we've absorbed negative stereotypes if we're not informed, says Mackenzie Hart, coordinator of GLAAD's Media Institute, which advises media, television, and film professionals on accurate LGBTQ representation.

An easy way to interject when you hear a myth about bisexual people is to say, "Actually, that's not true, my friend who is bisexual does not fit that stereotype," suggests Hart. It can also help to arm yourself with accurate statistics to further back up what you're saying, says Madeleine Roberts, HRC's assistant press secretary. HRC is a helpful resource for these stats.

"Barsexual" is a hurtful label often used to demean bisexual people. It refers to the incorrect belief that bisexual people will only interact with certain genders when they are intoxicated, explains Hart. It upholds the myth that bisexual women are actually straight as it implies they only flirt or make out with women when drunk. It also contributes to bi erasure, which GLAAD says happens when "the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright."

You should also push back against the harmful stereotypes that bisexuals can't be trusted to commit to a relationship, says Gory. "Embrace bisexuals as valid members of the [LGBTQ] community, rather than referring to them as 'allies' of the community."

Additionally, you can be an ally by understanding certain words and promoting proper usage. For example, you can clarify the difference between bisexual and bi+. Bi+ is an umbrella term inclusive of people who are pan, queer, fluid, and those who don't prefer labels. Use the full acronym of LGBTQ rather than gay as an umbrella term for queer people, explains Roberts. By taking these steps, you can "create spaces where people are hearing these words," says Hart.

3. Healthcare providers need to educate themselves

One time, a clinician asked Beach how many sex partners she/they had.

"I was like, OK, what do you mean by sex?" says Beach. The practitioner questioned why Beach would ask this. Beach told the clinician she/they are bisexual and, therefore, needed clarification about what sexual behavior she was referring to.

"She got really uncomfortable and said 'deep vaginal penetration,'" says Beach. "She started off guessing. She said, "you seem like a nice girl. So what is it, like one or two people?"" says Beach. The provider then said, “So, what you’re saying is more than 30 or 40 people.”

"It shows how someone [in a healthcare setting] can make this jump based on biphobic stereotypes of what my sexual behavior would be,” explains Beach.

After that encounter, Beach never went back to that doctor. To this day, Beach doesn’t have a designated primary care provider.

“I have to work up the emotional energy to want to go put myself through that potential experience," Beach says about seeking out healthcare.

Beach's experience isn't uncommon. Biphobia may discourage bisexual people from going to the doctor, with 39 percent of bisexual men and 33 percent of bisexual women reporting that they didn't disclose their sexual orientation to any medical provider, according to a 2012 study by the Williams Institute. Comparably, 13 percent of gay men and 10 percent of lesbians did not share their sexual orientation with a doctor.

Providers shouldn't presume anyone's sexual behavior because they know their sexual identity, says Beach. Hart echoes this advice. A doctor once asked Hart, "Are you seeing anyone?" Hart said no. She then asked, "If you were seeing anyone, would you be seeing a woman, a man, either, or other?" It wasn't perfect, Hart says, but asking open-ended questions that are inclusive of gender nonconforming people made Hart comfortable enough to see her again.

"Even if you aren't sure of certain words... you can make it clear you aren't going to be judgmental and you understand there's a wide array of experiences," says Hart.

4. Uplift bisexual people of color

Roberts recommends following prominent bi+ people of color on social media such as singer and actor Janelle Monáe, NFL player Ryan Russell, writer and transgender rights activist Raquel Willis, and politician Andrea Jenkins to become familiar with their lives. The next step is to share their stories with your friends and family.

At last year's Academy Awards, actor Rami Malek won Best Actor for his portrayal of British singer Freddie Mercury. Malek described Mercury as gay during his acceptance speech but Mercury was actually bisexual. Willis called out the bi erasure in a tweet.

Of the four people Roberts listed, two (Willis and Jenkins) are transgender. Just like one can be asexual and bi, one can also be transgender and bi. In 2015, the National Center for Transgender Equality surveyed 27,715 transgender people from every state and D.C., U.S. territories, and U.S. military bases abroad and 14 percent of respondents described their sexual orientation as bisexual.

To ensure you're not erasing transgender bi+ people's identities, always use inclusive language like "siblings" instead of "brothers and sisters," says Roberts, when addressing people as if they're family. This guarantees you're not assuming every bi+ person (or anyone generally) identifies as either male or female.

Taking into account the role intersectionality plays in the lives of bi+ people is important — especially when you're looking to amplify their voices.

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flowerpowell · 4 years

Text

Unexpected (Drake x MC)

PART EIGHT

A/N: The list of questions that Drake found in this chapter is very real and I had a lot of fun writing this scene lol. I hope you’ll like it too! Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Rating: PG-16 (nothing too crazy but maybe some suggestive language)

Word count: 2289

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @hopefulmoonobject @akrenich @blackcatkita @desiree---1986 @dcbbw @kingliam2019 @the-soot-sprite @mskaneko @thequeenofcronuts @dr-ethanjramsey @badchoicesposts @burnsoslow @annekebbphotography @alesana45 @addictedtodrakefanfic @walkerduchess @ao719 @texaskitten30 @lodberg @cordonianroyalty @emichelle @siriusxxvideos @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @samihatuli @choices-lurker @i-miss-trr @drxkewalker @nikkis1983 @innerpostmentality @msjr0119 @bascmve01 @mind-reader1 @edgiestwinter @drakesensworld @queenjilian @princessleac1 @saivilo @yukinagato2012 ♥

“Mmm” Riley moaned as she slowly opened her eyes. It took her a moment to adjust to the bright room and to realize she wasn’t in her regular room.

Drake’s mom. Right.

She wanted to turn to see if Drake had already woken up but she couldn’t as she saw his arms wrapped around her waist so tightly she could barely breathe. Or maybe it was Drake’s proximity that made it so hard to breathe. Drake’s face was buried in her neck and covered in her hair and she tried to stay as still as possible.

Normally, she would push him away the second she’d realize how close they were but for some reason she quite enjoyed them being so close, so intimate. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine it was her real life, entangled in bed with the love of her life. The reality was a bit different and she blushed at the thought that Mr Perfect Butt was cuddling her.

Don’t think about his butt, don’t think about his butt.

Riley felt that Drake started to stir and she closed her eyes immediately, pretending to be still asleep as if she never noticed the position they were in. She felt his breath on her neck and she knew he woke up. She pretended to be waking up too and she opened her eyes meeting with Drake’s already looking at her.

“Ewww, what are you doing,” she pushed him away as she jumped out of the bed. “I knew you should’ve just slept on the floor, ugh,” she added as she quickly left the bedroom.

~~~~

“Good morning, my love birds!” Bianca entered the kitchen with Bartie in her arms. Drake smiled sleepily at her and Riley took Bartie from her fake mother-in-love.

“I hope you had a good night.”

“Moooom,” Drake rolled his eyes.

“What? You just got married, you deserve to have some good nights. I can take Bartie somewhere for the night if it’s necessary,” she winked and Drake facepalmed as Riley blushed.

“Thank you, Mrs Walker, but we love Bartie and we want to spend as much time with him as possible,” Riley answered politely.

“That’s understandable. And please, call me Bianca.”

Drake opened his mouth to comment this somehow but someone knocked on the door and he stood up to open it, Riley following suit.

“Yes?” He asked the woman standing in the doorway, smiling at him.

“Drake and Riley Walker?” she asked as both of them nodded. “Someone filed a complaint about the legitimacy of your marriage. I’m bringing you the copy of the document along with the letter to come to the embassy for the interview.”

“Embassy? Interview?” Drake asked as he opened the letter and seeing the name of the person responsible for it,” Madeleine.”

“We need to establish whether your marriage is in fact real, as the claim suggests it is fake, serving only to get full custody and grant Mrs Walker a Cordonian citizenship.”

“Me...? What?!” Riley’s eyes widened and Drake put a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

“Why did Madeleine even sent it? She was at the wedding!”

“Mrs Beaumont simply voiced her concerns about the legitimacy of your marriage, there will be a few question you two will be asked and that’s all. Nothing to be worried about. Unless, the marriage is indeed fake.”

“Concerns about our marriage? Can I voice my concerns about Madeleine’s sanity then?” Drake asked but before the woman could answer Riley cut in.

“This is ridiculous. And what if that stupid interview proved it was a fake marriage?”

“Then it’d be annuled immediately, you would be sent to America and Drake would most likely lose the custody. But as I said,” she smiled at them, “nothing to be worried about. It’s just a formality. See you tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow?!” Riley and Drake asked at the same time but the woman already started walking away. They looked at each other, Riley full of worry and Drake full of anger.

“Mom? Can you actually take Bartie for the night? Riley and I want to have tonight for ourselves.”

~~~~

“Okay, let’s do this.”

“Why did you bring alcohol?” Riley asked curiously as Drake put two glasses and a bottle of whiskey on the floor.

“I really can’t do that sober,” he shook his head and poured the drink into two glasses. Riley took one and they both drank it, the liquid burning their throats.

“Okay, I found a few lists of possible questions on the internet, are you ready?” He asked and Riley nodded. How bad could it be?

“First. Where did you meet?”

“Easy. In your bar,” Riley answered taking a swig. This is going to be easy.

“Right. When did your relationship turn romantic?”

“Umm, never?”

Drake narrowed his eyes.

“Hmm, maybe after I first visited you at home and met Bartie? I could say I saw the way you take care of him and I fell in love and then it quickly became a romantic relationship?”

“I like that,” Drake nodded. “Okay, next. Why did you decide to have a short engagement?”

“Because we really wanted to start our life together and also because we wanted to make a family for Bartie.”

“Good, I’m impressed!” Drake high-fived Riley. “Moving on, there’s a set of questions about our habits. Ready?”

“Bring it on!” Riley said as she took another swig of her drink.

“Who gets up first? At what time? How many alarm clocks do you set in the morning? Who cleans the house? Who makes breakfast? Who takes care of paying the bills? Does your spouse take any regular medications?”

“Whoaa. Okay. You get up first to go for a run, unless Bartie starts crying, then we both wake up at the same time. You never set any alarm clocks. I have to clean the house because you’re messy. We both make breakfast for ourselves and you pay bills since it’s your house. And I haven’t seen you taking any meds. How did I do?”

“You did great,” Drake admitted as he took a few swigs of whiskey. “You set as many alarms as possible but after like ten alarms you turn off your phone because they annoy you. You take some allergy pills, right?”

“Yes! I’m alergic to mess and since your place is so messy I have to take those,” she answered sweetly and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Whatever. I’m doing this for my restaurant. Next question.”

“What is your spouse’s favorite/least favorite food?”

“Everything with meat is favorite. Anything without meat is your least favorite.”

“Very funny. I like simple things so anything extravagant is not my favorite. Now, you’re a great cook so I would say you love everything.”

“My favorite dish is pasta à la Nana. It was invented by me and my grandma when I was about five years old. It reminds me of her,” Riley said, her voice breaking slightly.

“I’ve never seen you making it,” Drake noticed and Riley shrugged.

“I haven’t been able to make ever since she died. We always did it together. The secret is that you need two people to make it and I just... I couldn’t.” She quickly wiped a tear from her eyes and Drake wordlessly pulled her close.

“Let’s... finish with these questions,” she whispered and Drake nodded.

“Who sleeps on each side of the bed?” he asked and she looked at him confused.

“What, these are the questions!”

“Well, when we fell asleep I was on the right side and you on the left side but when I woke up we both somehow were on the right side.”

“I think that’s a sufficent answer. Okay, next, when was your wife’s last menstrual period? Wait, what?” He read it again. “How am I supposed to know that?!”

“Just say two weeks ago and let’s move on,” she chuckled. Normally she would be embarrassed to talk about such topics with someone who was neither her sister nor her close friend but all that alcohol was making her a bit more confident.

“When did you last have intimate relations?”

“This is what they ask about?” Riley raised her eyebrow as Drake tried to hide his red cheeks.

“Apparently they’re very nosy.”

“Let’s just say it was tonight. Bianca can even confirmed she took Bartie out for the night so it’s more believeable.”

“Good thinking, Mrs Walker,” Drake smiled as he clinked glasses with her. “Next is, how many sexual partners did you have?”

“What? This is ridiculous, they can’t ask that!” Riley stood up, ready to end this rehearsal. This was a stupid idea anyway.

“I didn’t make it up, it’s one of the sample questions, look!” Drake showed his phone to Riley but she only rolled her eyes.

“It’s stupid.”

“It is but need to be prepared. So... what is your number?”

“What is yours?” Riley asked crossing her arms. She hated it already.

“Just seven,” he shrugged, “nothing too exciting.”

“Seven?” her eyes widened. “Not that I care. I’m going to sleep, I’m tired.”

“Hey, we haven’t finished yet!”

“Well, I’m finished.”

“Riley,” Drake stook up and took her hand, “I told you my number, it’s only fair if you tell me yours. How many guys did you sleep with?”

She rolled her eyes, “Zero. Happy now?”

“But I thought...” Drake’s eyes widened. “With you looking like this, I just--”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Everyone is so fixated on--”

“I’m not everyone,” Drake cut in and she looked at him. “And I don’t think it’s a big deal.”

“If you had parents like mine, you’d understand. All I had time for was studying so that my parents were proud of me. My older sister is their favorite and I always tried to be more like her. Jeez, why am I even telling you this?”

“If they couldn’t see how great you are then it’s their loss,” Drake said but she didn’t reply. After a few minutes of complete silence, Drake finally asked, “Can we answer the rest of the questions?”

~~~~

The interview was scheduled early next morning and both Riley and Drake were very tired as they were practicing most of the night. It all was worth it though, because they covered all the questions the interviewer asked them. Even the woman who brought them documents seemed to be happy with their responses.

When they left the office, they were so relived and tired that they hugged each other without even realizing what they were doing.

Bianca was waiting with Bartie and started cheering when Drake showed her a thumb up.

“You should celebrate! Now everyone knows your marriage is real and you love each other.”

“Yeah.”

“Show some enthusiasm, son! Kiss your wife!”

“It’s okay, we’re not really fans of PDA,” Riley tried to argue with Bianca but the woman only shook her head.

“It’s not PDA, it’s just a kiss!”

“Fine, Mom!” Drake rolled his eyes and kissed Riley’s cheek quickly.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I kiss Bartie with more love than you did Riley.”

“Mom!”

“It’s okay,” Riley grabbed Drake’s hand and he looked at her, frowning. She nodded slighly and he sighed but leaned down to kiss her.

At first, it was a very careful kiss, more like a quick peck on the lips but soon he felt Riley deepening the kiss a little and he followed suit, somehow not being able to stop. He put one of his arms on Riley’s back and the other was entangled in her hair. He heard a soft moan from Riley’s lips and it was only then that he realized what they were doing, in front of his mother. Slowly, he pulled away and looked down, avoiding his mother’s eyes.

“Yes, that’s more like it,” they heard Bianca and Drake could swear he heard her smiling.

Drake shook his head as his phone started ringing and he felt very thankful for that distraction.

“Liam? What’s happening?”

“I sent the guards back to Cordonia. They didn’t find anything in Karlington. Everything is clear. They checked every single room, dungeons, even secret passages. The gardens were checked too. And all the houses nearby. Nothing. I’m sorry.”

“It’s... okay. Thank you anyway, for doing this,” Drake sighed. He was losing hope with each day.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you some good news. I decided to leave one guard there, just in case.”

“Thank you, Liam. Really.”

“I’ll call you later and we’ll talk, okay?” Liam asked and after hearing ‘okay’ from the other side, he hung up.

He started sorting out some documents when he heard a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

“King Liam,” Madeleine bowed and Liam stood up, surprised to see her there.

“Madeleine? What are you doing here?”

“Is that a way to greet your ex fiancee?” She smiled as she waved a big envelope before Liam’s eyes.

“What are you doing here, Madeleine?” Liam repeated, his eyes trained on the woman.

“I brought new evidence. About Savannah and Bertrand. My private investigator just sent this and...” she bit her lips as if considering something, “I think you should see it.”

#the royal romance #the royal heir #drake walker #choices #playchoices #drake x mc #drake walker x mc #choices drake #trr #choices trr #my fic #trr fanfic

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doomedfanfics · 4 years

Text

I’m Amelia... Amelia Stark

Year 2089, New York.

Oscorp Industries.

A group of men ranging from their early forties to early sixties, and one young woman in her early twenties, followed two men down the hall of Oscorp Industries. One of two men was tall with wide shoulders, blue eyes and blonde hair. He was dressed in a navy blue business suit and had handsome features. The other man was clearly a scientist as he was dressed in a lab coat, he was older than the business man but shorter, balding, and wore glasses.

The woman was average height with dark hair and brown eyes. She wore a black suite with billowing dress pants and heels that clicked on the polished floor as she followed the blonde man. The two were the youngest of the group, but were clearly in charge.

“This way gentlemen, and lady,” said the blonde man, he winked at the young woman. “Here at Oscorp we run hundreds of studies. From advanced technologies-”

“It’s 2089, Taylor, how much more advanced can we possibly get?” Asked one of the older gentlemen in the group. They all chuckled and the woman smirked.

“You’re right, Mr. Douglas, but we never stop trying to be better,” they all nodded in agreement with him. “As I was saying, studies on advance technology, medical technology, weapons tech, and so much more. This wing is dedicated towards the study of super-human biology, so that we can learn more about how our brethren acquire such unique genes that make them who they are.”

“Human studies?” Asked the woman. “Those are outlawed.”

The man turned around and put on a well practiced smile. “For the criminal, no. Our test subjects no longer have human rights, per the justice system.” He looked at the group with stern expression. “These are hard core criminals that would steal your fancy cuff links or murder you just because they can. And a few, well they would torture you just for the fun of it.”

Some of the men grimaced, others kept a stony expression. They moved on down the hall and Taylor continued to explain what other types of studies they conducted on the criminals. The woman frowned as the approached the first of the many doors in the hallway. She peered into the window, inside was a boy, a teenager, sitting in the corner of the padded room. His hair was disheveled and he was pale.

He looked up at her but didn’t make any effort to move, he looked resigned to his position in life. He looked pitiful and it chipped away at her already burdened heart.

“Stark, stay with the group!”

She looked at the group leaving her behind and then looked back at the boy only to be startled because he was now level with the window and looking at her with hope filled brown eyes.

“Help me!” she heard his muffled voice plead. “Where’s Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark?!” He was screaming.

“Amy! Keep up!”

“C-coming!” She shouted back at them.

“Please!” The boy was crying.

“I’m sorry,” Amy put her hand on the window and then quickly left.

Throughout the tour Amy couldn’t stop thinking of the boy in the padded room. Once they entered a conference room and they all sat down did she seriously question the legitimacy of Taylor’s claim that their subjects were all convicts. Why would a boy be locked up at Oscorp? Even if he was a juvenile delinquent there were other places for them, places for super-humans. New York certainly wasn’t one of those places.

Ever since the war between humans and super-humans the country had been divided, the eastern seaboard all the way to Mississippi was the Eastern States of America. California Oregon, Washington, Idaho, the west part of Montana, Utah, Nevada, and Arizona were now the Republic States of California. All the states in between became sort of a no man’s land. Except Texas, which claimed Oklahoma and New Mexico. The Dakotas were restricted states, it’s where the super-humans were sent to live after the wars.

Any super-human caught outside the Dakotas were committing a felony and jailed. But the children were an exception. They could be shipped back, depending on age or serve time in a juvenile delinquent center. It wouldn’t go on their record as a criminal act but it would still show on their record, if a crime was committed then they would be charged as an adult.

“Amy?”

She looked up, she’d been tapping her pen on the table through the whole meeting while she was thinking and now stopped as she looked at her joint share holders. “What?”

“The proposition?” Taylor sat at the opposite end of the table as her.

“Hm?” She raised her eyebrows, pretending she didn’t have a clue as to what they were talking about. Truthfully, she hadn’t been listening at all but it was always the same in these sort of meetings.

“Ms. Stark, I know that you must have a lot on your mind but could you for once pay attention?” One of the share holders exclaimed, he was an old pudgy gray haired man, Mr. Murdock, she thought was his name.

“The boy, what’s his crime?” She asked and looked down at the handout in front of her that read Oscorp-Stark Industries. She scratched out Oscorp with her pen.

“What?” Taylor said, looking confused.

“You know, the boy,” She circled Stark a few times and looked up at him.

Taylor raised his eyebrows and the others looked at each other then to Taylor.

“What boy?” Taylor said calmly leaning forward and placing a hand on the table.

Amy slammed the pen down and stood up and raised her voice as she spoke. “The damn child being held in a padded room! The boy with the brown hair and the brown eyes! The kid who looked so far gone but then looked right into my eyes and begged for HELP! That boy!”

Everyone stared in disbelief at her outburst. Taylor leaned back apparently unaffected. He sighed and folded his hands in front of him. “He murdered his parents, some how escaped the detention center in Wisconsin and fled here. He’s a psychopath and a master manipulator.” Taylor sighed again. “Ashamed, he seems so brilliant.”

Amy sat down and looked at the paper in front of her. Everyone sat in silence, then Amy looked up at them.

“Start Industries will not merge with Oscorp,” She stood back up and marched out, leaving behind the packet of papers that most likely had all the deals and terms that came with mergers.

The other were protesting as she left the room but she didn’t stop. She kept doing, to the elevator, then through the halls, and back to the human trials wing. She stopped at the first door in the hall way and peered through the window again. He was sitting in the corner again, forehead on his knees. She rapped on the window with her knuckles and he looked up, his eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot.

He jumped up from his seated position and raced to the door. “Help me, please!”

“I will!” Amy told him. “I’m going to help you. What’s your name?”

“I’m Peter… Parker,” He said and gave her a small smile.

“Hi Peter, I’m Amelia. Amelia Stark.”

#iron man #tony stark #avengers #peter parker #iron man au #avengers au #spider-man au #spider-man #avengers oc #iron man oc #spider-man oc #iron angel #this is my fix-it au #fix-it #fanfic #avengers fix-it fic #endgame au #avengers: endgame au #avengers: endgame fix-it

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mandysimo13 · 3 years

Text

2020 has been a helluva year

I know it’s not technically new year’s yet but since it’s on my mind, let’s do a year in review.

This year has been so fucking disorienting, in so many ways, and it’s hard to believe anything is real. Every other day there’s new outrage, new disgust, new triumphs, new joys, new fears, new ways to cope with existence.

First we list the good from this year.

My two best friends welcomed brand new daughters into the world. I was lucky enough to spend two weeks with one of them, helping her out since her in-laws are too compromised to help and her own mother is gone. I got to see my brand new niece have her first few experiences in life, hang out with dogs, and spend lots of time with my sister-from-another-mister.

I got engaged to an amazing partner who is everything I’ve wanted in a spouse. He’s sweet and funny and makes me want to be a better person and work hard towards my goals. He’s the most supportive of my new career path and while he’s not always super interested in what I’m researching, he’s always willing to listen to me info dump when I get excited. He lets me help him and kick him in the ass when he needs it, lets me hold him when he needs it, and I never feel unloved or unwanted with him. Not to mention, the sex is really good, too, lol

I’ve started working on a new career path and trying to make history my job. I’ve been doing lectures on niche history and working towards making it a legitimate job and a legitimate company. I’ve been gaining a following and legitimacy as I make networking connections and getting my foot in doors that will open up opportunities for me.

I have not lost anyone very close to me during this pandemic, even if a couple have gotten sick or injured. I did lose an uncle to covid, though he was 90 and was already in declining health. The other people who have caught it have so far managed to recover and haven’t had any obvious long lasting problems (yet *knock on wood*)

I got on anxiety and depression medication this year and it has made all the difference this year; not only with the every day stuff but with some of the pandemic craziness. I honestly don’t know how I would be doing, mentally and emotionally, without it. I am very very very grateful for my meds, despite the very few side effects I’ve had.

Now for the bad

Every day there is something new and awful to be had. Whether it’s US politics continually shitting on struggling americans or murder hornets or natural disasters or covid deniers or police brutality or fear mongers or throw a dart at this bingo card from hell year we’ve had. It’s all been fucked up and Too Much™

The isolating and social distancing, while absolutely necessary, has been exhausting and terrifying, and it’s been rough. I’m an extrovert. I thrive around people. I miss crowds. I miss walking around through stores without freaking out about distance. I miss being able to give hugs to people other than the people I live with. I miss traveling, which was my previous job, and the students I used to expose to the world. I miss being able to actually be part of the world.

I’ve been fairly lucky that my closest friends have kept small bubbles so we’ve been able to hang out from time to time but nowhere near as often as I need in order to feel balanced. I miss my historian happy hours. I miss movie theaters. I’ve been to a few restaurants since they’ve opened but it’s definitely not the same and I feel bad for everyone (including myself) caught between having to go out and make a living and staying home and staying safe because this country’s “social safety nets” are a fucking joke.

And speaking of those safety nets, I’m on unemployment. For the first time in my working life I’m cashing in those tax dollars and all I’m entitled to is $450 a month. Thank fucking god I live with family and don’t need to pay rent. Thank fuck that my dad pays for our internet and majority of our food. Because aside from a few donations for my services every month, I **just** have enough to cover my few bills. This has been my poorest fucking year and you know what the kicker is?

It was supposed to be my most profitable. This was supposed to be my busiest year for tour work since I got into the business. I missed out on so much money, so many work experiences, so many opportunities because of this fucking plague. And because our government couldn’t get their shit together. Because people fucking suck and they’re selfish and they decided their convenience was more important than safety. And those people are still fucking denying its “that big a deal” and denying the need for a vaccine. I’m so tired of hearing people say that covid is a hoax or overblown or whatever the fuck. I’m tired.

In lieu of being around people, like most of you, I’ve taken to being on social media more. More zoom calls, more video chats, more messenger chats, and more facebook groups. And what I’ve found is that living almost entirely on the internet is doing something fucking awful to us: we’re forgetting there’s real people on the other side of the screen. We’re forgetting that humans are complicated beings, both capable of goodness and shittiness and we’re focusing too much on the bad because it is often louder than the good. I’ve seen so much infighting and gatekeeping and nastiness between people who are supposedly “on the same side” in every group from political to fucking memes. Like. It’s ridiculous and tiresome and it makes me want to clunk heads together. Or leave earth for awhile.

Just. All in all, this year has been hard. There have been highlights but for the most part everything is so heavy and dark and I feel like as a society nothing is actually getting better. I don’t have a lot of hope for 2021. I am not encouraged by what I’ve seen this year and how people insist on behaving and treating each other. I fear that 2021 is going to be worse before it gets better.

But hey. At least Biden won (don’t get me started, he was not my first choice) and I get to marry the love of my life in October next year.

And, if we’re really lucky, we’ll be able to celebrate with our friends.

Here’s to 2021, hopefully you’re not a giant suck salad.

#personal #my life #2020 fucking sucked #year in review #tldr highlights and lowlights of the year

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coffeewithcalypso · 4 years

Text

I guess I could do a proper post instead of after-a-whole-bottle-of-wine-and-health-scare-from-my-cat post. Seriously though she really freaked me out. She started walking almost like she was having a stroke or possibly like she got something on her paw she didn’t like (think the kitten mittens sketch but just one leg). A few minutes later she was running up and down the stairs and acting like I was the idiot for my worry. But she’s like fourteen and all I can think about is her dying and me being all alone in these four rooms. Alright, we’re not off to a good start. I may have to break this up like it’s a real blog or something because I feel like it’s going to be long and disjointed on it’s own.

I think about death a lot. Not in a suicidal way, just in a that’s a thing too way. Which is not say that I don’t love living. Travel, food, wine, friends, there are great joys in being alive. There are great struggles too. Death is a permanent off button. I just wouldn’t have to worry any more. I often weigh both sides of this in my head. I worry a little when the scales of the living side loses something because the death side is a stable weight. “I think about death so much it feels like a memory.”

The past year and half have been fragile. I spent almost all last year clawing my way back from a break up that I did to myself. I had friends, and travel, and wine, and my cat though, a brief bought of therapy and I started this year feeling much better. I had a year of travel and things planned. None of this is new for people who actually read this. Quarantine happened though and my extroverted self spiraled a bit through but using a lot of what I learned last year I was able to stay pretty stable.

I got a newer car that maybe I didn’t love but it was going to be reliable and had all the features I wanted. It’s a Subaru and makes me feel like a fake because I hate the outdoors, the sun, and most things related to outdoor activities, particularly in the summer. I tend to change cars every 5-6 years, basically at the end of a note because I’d rather a controlled note than a surprise mechanic bill, but I usually get the same car at least once more. My cars usually feel more like a home than the place I live in. I moved a lot in college. Even at my last place I was starting to let myself feel at home and my landlady kicked me out. Oops, my bad. The universe caught me slipping and fixed it. I can’t move into an identical house but I can get a same or similar car. I think this is also part of my obsession with games like Animal Crossing and Stardew, things with a home element. I just want a home.

I dyed my hair back to brown. I adored my blue hair. It felt right. People complimented me on it. That was nice and made me happy. But I think it made other people happy too. The people who complimented me on it always seemed so excited by this bouncing mop of blue. As excited as I was. I had it for six years and it was getting unhealthy (and was expensive but we’re getting to money). So I dyed it back to my natural color. My dad was excited, so much so he reimbursed me for the cost of the coloring. So now I look like a well behaved, status quo bank teller. I do comfort myself by acknowledging that when I protest now I lend more legitimacy with my status quo hair. I look like a good citizen that politicians would take more seriously, not some blue haired liberal snowflake.

Last month during my yearly exam my doctor said my uterus felt tilted and to get an ultrasound. Within four weeks I was getting put under for a quick outpatient surgery to remove a cyst. I have insurance like a responsible adult. I have a silver plan insurance too. I figured it’s expensive but so is healthcare and I want to be covered. Well apparently the numbers changed this year and I didn’t notice. All the numbers were staggering. To make matters worse a quick surgery turned into a fully invasive surgery to remove endometriosis I never suspected I had. It had spread to my appendix so that came out too. I had to stay overnight at the hospital. Now instead of meeting my deductible I’m assuming I’ll be hitting my max out of pocket for sure. And that’s assuming they don’t find a way to get more money out of me.

I had a bout of… I don’t want to call it body dysmorphia but of body separateness? after my surgery. I felt so apart from it, so betrayed by it. I didn’t understand how it could do this to me when I feed it healthy foods and don’t get mad at it for not losing weight and generally try to appreciate it and it would just plunge me into debt on a whim. I did some grounding mediations focused specifically on like body scans and stuff. I realized what I was mad at was a for profit system that refused to take care of the people it was supposed to be taking care of but being mad at my body and punishing it was easier but that wasn’t what I should be doing. I still let myself cheat and have some sugar when I knew I shouldn’t have.

And now my biggest thing is money. And I know everything I’m about to say is drowning in privilege so there’s that. But this new debt is all I can think about. I’ve been so fortunate to never be in debt before, other than a car or whatever. I don’t even have a credit card. I’m so careful with money. I save tons to travel because I adore traveling and maybe I should have just been saving but at least I never went on a trip until I could afford it. I was thinking about maybe finally buying a house this year so I could have a sense of home that wasn’t on four wheels. My sister keeps saying to set up a payment plan and then buy a house anyway. But how can I do expensive things when I have this debt hanging over me? I can’t do anything big until this paid off. And god knows when that will be. I was finally, finally at a place where I was comfortable money-wise. Not secure but content. I could buy things without thinking too much about it. Now my whole life feels defined by “can’t”. Everything is something I can’t buy unless it’s an absolute need, no matter how cheap. Can’t buy a $15 top when you could put that $15 into your medical fund. Shame. I know I won’t lose my apartment and my family is probably going to pay for some of my bills and promise I can pay them back and then not let me. I think my dad already gave the hospital some money and won’t tell me if he did or not or how much. I should be grateful for this but really it’s just embarrassing. I’m the failure, charity child now. It hurts my pride and my family is not discrete so literally aunt, uncle, and cousin probably knows now. Yes wounded pride is better than homelessness. I hate it though. I don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to do or how to exist anymore. I am nothing that I was. I feel unrecognizable

But I’ll be fine. As my grandmother and I say when we’re checking in with each other, “I’ll be fine. What else can you be?” Be fine or be dead. There’s not really another alternative on the living side of the scales

#my plan is if my family won't let me pay them back i'll pay it forward by donating to medical gofundmes whenever i have some extra cash #in the far far future

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werevulvi · 4 years

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What's the difference(s?) between being GNC vs trans NB in your opinion??? I used to think they were very diff until i read about "you don't need dysphoria to be trans" discourse and also stories from dysphoric GNC ppl so is it like a matter of ideology?

There is a lot that goes into this, so this will be a very long reply... but yes, ideology is deeply soaked into it, although it's not only because of that, I think. So like, okay, first off, you probably know I come from a radfem perspective, but then I also take into consideration things that radfem in general may disagree with if I find it to be logical or making sense enough. So my opinions are more so rooted in what I personally think is logical and makes sense, as well as facts, which just so happens to mostly align with radfem, rather than being truly rooted in radfem.

That said, however, this particular topic is not so much based on scientific facts (as there's just not much established science to go on here) but more so on anecdotal evidence and my own logical conclusions of that.

Not sure where to start, but there are several different "ways" to "validate" the existence of nonbinary, if you feel ever so inclined. One is by understanding that a nonbinary person who's dysphoric has the same legitimacy to identify outside of the sex they were born as, as "binary" trans people, and if their dysphoria is atypical enough, that it also makes sense for them to not wanna identify as the opposite sex either.

That is probably the simplest way to view nonbinary as different from being gnc, by simply applying the same logic to them as you would to differentiate butch/masc women from trans men, or feminine men from trans women: their sex dysphoria is the defining factor, not how they dress/act.

And how to then differentiate nonbinary from "binary" trans, is that the nonbinary dysphoria is often atypical in nature. That generally means the person may be dysphoric about only some of their sex characteristics, but not all (for example a dysphoric nb may have discomfort towards their chest and voice, but not their genitals or their curves/lack of curves) - but it can also mean that the dysphoria is towards all of their sex characteristics but the desire is to look "sex neutral" instead of as the opposite sex. It can also be a combination of those. A third distinction is that their dysphoria may be fluctuating a lot. Like maybe they feel really uncomfortable with their sex for a certain amount of time, then love their bio sex, then again dysphoric. Basically any sex dysphoria that makes the person not feel like they "should" appear as the opposite sex entirely could be called atypical.

This is also NOT to say that "binary" trans people who opt out of for example genital surgery are nonbinary. It has to do with the intent/desire, what one's body would be ideally and how one interprets that ideal - not necessarily what they actually change with hormones/surgery in practice. Like for example there IS a difference between being okay with one's vagina and not wanting any surgery on it because neo-penis doesn't live up to one's desires, but still wishing they had an actual penis - and actually genuinely LOVING one's vagina and feeling strongly protective of keeping it as is, with no desire to have an actual penis, while still being dysphoric about other sexed aspects of one's body. However, that's also not saying trans men have to be dysphoric about their vaginas to count as "binary" - it has more to do with the individual's own interpretation of what their dysphoria means to them, and what being a man/woman/nonbinary means to them.

But there is more to it than that, which is what you call into question: the "you don't need dysphoria to be trans." This is where it gets tricky, anecdotal and a little whimsical.

Many are sceptical of that notion, however most nonbinary people are not. Ideology does absolutely go into this. The sceptical ones tend to be (or lean) transmedicalist/truscum, or in rarer cases radfem, while those who don't think you need dysphoria to be trans tend to be (or lean) tucute/sjw/libfem. And I too am more than just fairly sceptical of this... However, I have found one argument which I'm considering... plausible, for considering non-dysphoric trans to be a possibility.

That argument is: gender incongruence without marked distress.

This is where shit gets complicated, so I'll try to explain it as well as I can, and then you can make your own opinion on if there's any legitimacy to it, or look into it further if you wish. I'm not here to attempt to change your opinion in any way. I'm only sharing what made me reconsider the notion that dysphoria is necessary to be trans. What you do with that info, is entirely up to you, and I honestly don't even care about holding it against you, or anyone else, for that matter. I just wanted to clarify that, in case this comes off as me trying to shove a weird ass argument down your throat, as that is absolutely not my intention by any means. You're absolutely free to call bullshit on this.

Alright, before I dig into it, I first have to raise the question "what is gender/sex dysphoria?" and answer it: My understanding of what this type of dysphoria is, is that it's not only wishing your body looked different and to be read as the opposite sex (or both/neither sex) but it's categorised as marked distress/strong discomfort towards your body's sex. This is important, so try to remember that.

I used to think that's all there is to feeling like you're not capable/willing to live with your body/gender* as it is naturally. However, I then started talking to a few transsexual MtF's and FtM's who happily medically transitioned... without dysphoria, and their stories puzzled me, but they also intrigued me. Thus, I listened with an open mind.

(*I should probably explain my view on what gender is, but very briefly: I consider it a personal interpretation of one's experiences with anything gendered and/or sexed. So it's a subjective perception and personal conclusion, more so than a feeling, similar to how "feeling cold" regardless of actual temperature is perception and a conclusion of how your mind and body responds to the temperature, and not an actual feeling like happiness or anger, nor is it objective fact. "Gender" can also simply be "I wish I was male but in fact I'm female. Thus I intepret my gender as man" without even including gender norms at all, but literally only focusing on sex. I personally conclude my own gender by my bio sex and my sex characteristics (including transitioned/desired ones) only, but I also accept the former definition for others just fine.)

Then I started also analysing my own dysphoria and noticed that it's not really a one big solid thing happening, but different aspects that together make me come to the conclusion that "I'm not comfortable looking/being clearly female, I feel a deep internal desire to look/be partially male, thus transitioning is alluring to me."

Split apart it's more like this: 1.) The first aspect is a strong discomfort with certain aspects of being physically female (I mean in the past before I transitioned, to clarify.) 2.) The second aspect is a strong desire for those aspects of my body to instead be male (again, only applicable in the past tense, as those aspects of my body now are appearing male.) 3.) The third aspect is what is the social result of what my sexed body appears like, meaning people read me as a man or woman based on what sex my body looks like, which is a direct reminder of what I look like (negative pre-transition, positive post-transition.)

The third aspect is generally what's considered "social dysphoria" and generally is considered a result of physical/sex dysphoria, than a stand alone thing. Some disagree with this, however. Many trans people split their experience of dysphoria into "social" and "sex/physical" as it's very common to experience both. However, both the first and second (as listed above, to clarify) aspects are together what most people only recognise as simply "sex/physical dysphoria" without really paying attention to that there are TWO aspects of it. One which pushes you away from your actual sex, and the other which pulls you towards the opposite sex (or both/neither.)

And here's where shit gets interesting... What if a person only has one of those two aspects of physical/sex dysphoria?

Meaning, they either feel discomfort about their physical sex, but lack the desire to instead appear more like the opposite, or both/neither sex (just discomfort, no desire) - or they have the desire to appear like the opposite, both or neither sex, but lack the discomfort towards their actual physical sex (just desire, no discomfort.)

The former point, feeling discomfort without desire, arguably is not "really" gender dysphoria, but something more along the lines of body dysmorphia/poor body image. That, however, is only my personal, unprofessional opinion. As most shit I say is, lol.

That latter point, however: Having the desire to appear like the opposite, both or neither sex, but lacking the discomfort towards one's actual physical sex - is basically what is considered experiencing gender incongruence, but without actual dysphoria.

So then what is gender incongruence? Typically it's part of gender dysphoria as a whole: it being sex dysphoria, gender incongruence, social dysphoria, and if/when alleviated: gender euphoria. If you have all those aspects then it's not really important to consider the incongruence aspect separately. However, what gender incongruence is, is basically just feeling like you should be of the other sex (or both/neither.) So, it's basically just the "desire" aspect of what's generally considered the concept of "gender dysphoria" as a whole. Except, without distress... dysphoria is not dysphoria.

Whether it's actually possible to have gender incongruence without dysphoria, I think is very difficult to say. However, what I struggle to de-legitimise is: if someone is transitioned (especially medically) and happy with the result, but what drove them to transition in the first place was a desire without distress. So what I actually consider to be "trans" is not necessarily "dysphoric person" but rather anyone who is happily transitioned, or know they would be happier transitioned, regardless of what drives/drove them to transition in the first place - as well as dysphoric people who don't wish to transition and/or detransitioned.

One thing I find compelling about this "incongruence without dysphoria" argument is that this is not actually a new thing.

I spoke to an older trans man (in his 50's) who transitioned back in the 90's and said outright that he never experienced dysphoria, yet he's (by his own words) satisfied with his transition. He's a fairly known and I guess "famous" trans activist in Sweden, and also hangs out in the same fb group as me, apparently. So I exchanged a few words with him on the topic of dysphoria. Although he didn't call his experience "gender incongruence" that's kinda what he seemed to imply. I've also talked to an older trans woman who also transitioned decades ago and also firmly stated and explained she never experienced dysphoria, yet is happily transitioned. Then I've also heard the same sentiment from a few younger trans people.

But in total, I've heard about it from less than 5 trans people, and all I have is that anecdotal info.

But then the thing is that they were all medically transitioned. They "prove" to me that they're trans by simply being satisfied with their transitions. So whether they had dysphoria or not is not actually important in hindsight. What matters is that they're satisfied with how they changed their bodies. Because when it comes to most "non-dysphoric" nonbinary people out there, they don't even wish to transition medically at all. And that is different. Are all of them legitimate cases just like the "non-dysphoric" yet happily transitioned trans men and women I've talked to? No, probably not. I mean, let's be honest.

Nonbinary is (no matter how much a legit thing for some, also) a hype/trend and very many do absolutely try to identify out of misogyny, sexist gender norms, sexual trauma, etc, by picking up the nonbinary label. Some of them experience body discomfort vaguely related to their sex traits, but it's not actually gender dysphoria, or whatever it is, transitioning would probably not be the best solution for them. I think it's important to keep in mind that the culture around nonbinary identities is to not ever question their identities and that any kind of "invalidating" is considered a horrible hate crime, to them.

That attitude is a recipe for validating people who are not actually trans, but suffer from gender in other ways. And I don't think we should forget or dismiss that. I don't think there's much harm in them simply carrying a nonbinary label and some odd set of pronouns - but letting every single nonbinary identified person jump on hormones and surgery would be a very terrible idea, and when it comes to that identity specifically, I'd be VERY, very careful, as they seem more likely to disregard the possibly negative outcomes of medical transition and then end up devastated, as many of them disregard dysphoria, and often logic and reason altogether... where as "binary" trans people, although not at all without doubt and detrans rates, tend to be at least a little bit more careful and educated.

That said, however... I have heard from ONE nonbinary person who very nicely explained their experience of basically gender incongruence without dysphoria, and they were also happily medically transitioning. They were also older and seemed mature and emotionally stable. So, I'm at least open to the possibility that some nonbinary people can be satisfied with transition without gender dysphoria, and thus, I'd personally count them as trans. It's a youtuber so I could probably link that video in which they explained it, if I can find it from my huge playlist of "favourites" to which I'm pretty sure I added it. I found that video through Blaire White making a rant video about how the nb person was only transitioning for attention. Valid concern, but erh, I think she made an incorrect assertion, in that particular case.

Anyhow, I do worry that this whole argument of "incongruence without dysphoria" very easily becomes a slippery slope of... basically people transitioning for shits and giggles, or because they have a bad self image and just really badly hope the grass will be greener on the other side, which is why I'm still very hesitant to give it credit, and at this point I'm still only considering it plausible.

One thing worth noting is that some transmeds actually think that having incongruence without dysphoria counts as a form of dysphoria, but that is in fact not the medically established definition of gender dysphoria. "Dysphoria" in and of itself literally means "abnormal depression and discontent" so taking the distress aspect out of gender dysphoria is going against its very definition. So that's quite some intellectual dishonesty, that some transmeds are willing to admit that some trans people don't have dysphoria, but without actually admitting it, because that would go against their ideology.

I also think that it's foolish to say that every trans person who is happily transitioned "must" have been dysphoric, because we can't actually know that. We have not actually heard every single trans person's reason for why they transitioned. We can only assume that it was probably because of dysphoria, because that is the (most, or only) logical reason for wanting to transition in the first place, and for being satisfied with one's transition in the long run. That is not enough to make the claim that ALL happily transitioned trans people MUST have experienced dysphoria, which means there is and always has been a possibility that you may not actually need dysphoria to be trans, even if it's the most common reason.

I think it's important to at least be open to listen to especially happily transitioned people's experiences when they don't align with our beliefs on what makes someone trans. They might be wrong about what their inner experiences with gender actually mean (as in they might have had dysphoria but were unaware that's what their experience was, or they might not actually be all that happy with having transitioned) - and we might be wrong about that gender dysphoria being the only thing that could make a person satisfied with transition.

So like... keep using those critical thinking skills, even after you think you know the truth ;)

Have I really answered your question, though? I'm not sure, but basically: trans nb generally means that your self-interpretation of your gendered experience as a whole (meaning how you RELATE to being male/female, feminine/masculine, considered a man/woman, etc, not if you are gnc per se) does not match your own interpretation of what it means to be either "fully" a man or "fully" a woman. Which is what gets watered down to the chanted phrase "nb means not identifying as either fully male or female."

So, how is that different from just being gnc? In some cases, it actually isn't. Some really do think that rejecting gender norms is what makes them nb, and in those cases, I won't personally consider them trans or truly nonbinary. But what matters (I think) is that there are also nb people who base it on sex dysphoria, and/or gender incongruence as thoroughly explained above, and I think there is at least some legitimacy to those reasons.

Then how gnc gets in the picture for those latter two reasons is pretty simple: For the same reason most trans men are masculine: to more easily blend in among men in society, as masculinity can in some cases help with passuing as male when you're female (and vice versa for femininity and passing as female for males.) That is sadly due to the reinforcement of masculinity as being "intended for men" and femininity as being "intended for women" which causes many people to subconsciously connect femininity with femaleness and masculinity with maleness, and many also confuse those things.

Ever heard a woman say that her having breasts is a "feminine" trait, for example? Yeah, no, it's not. That's her confusing femininity for what's actually a female trait. However, having large breasts can be considered "more feminine" than having small or no breasts, due to how society views gender, but that does not mean that large-breasted females are inherently "more feminine" than small-breasted ones, or those who don't have breasts, because that's really just a natural variation of femaleness.

That's an example of how femaleness easily gets blurred with femininity, and vice versa masculinity gets equally blurred with maleness, with for example beards and deep voices. Because the feminine and masculine archetypes do also include certain female and male body types. This is why I view my transitioned features from testosterone as male features rather than as masculine ones, because I can more easily differentiate what is SEXED from what's GENDERED, than probably most people, mostly due to my rather unusual upbringing. Thus, "binary" trans people can take advantage of that societal confusion and blur the lines between being perceived as masculine vs male (or feminine vs female for MtF) because the gender norms are so ingrained. Of course it doesn't always work in favour for trans people (hence non-passing trans men being seen as butches, and trans women seen as drag queens) but it CAN fool the eye to some extent.

Then, as for nonbinary people and androgynous gender expression: androgyny has often, historically been confused with... well, I may fail to put this delicately, but yeah basically having certain intersex conditions, which have been poorly understood throughout history as "hermaphrodites" and other harmful shit. Androgyny, meaning a combination of feminine and masculine, can thus be used to a nonbinary person's advantage (at least in theory) to attempt to confuse others to see them as either a combination of male and female (similar to false representations of certain intersex conditions, which I want for everyone to know that I absolutely abhor) or as sexless, basically.

(Just a sidenote for clarification of gnc: being "gnc" is in and of itself a form of androgyny, in either the combination of "feminine + masculine" or "feminine + male" or "masculine + female" but when it comes to binary vs nonbinary types of gender expression, I think it's important to differentiate the degree of gender non-conformity being expressed. I vaguely differentiate "androgynous" from "fem male" and "masc female" here and I hope you know what I mean. It's not to make more unnecessary boxes, but just for the sake of argument. Kinda like a gnc lesbian is not necessarily a butch, but a butch is definitely a gnc lesbian, if that makes sense.)

Does androgyny have that same "confusion effect" as masculinity and femininity, though? Not really, in practice. Fewer are fooled by it, largely because "androgynous agender/bigender" (neither gender/both genders) is not an established social gender category like "feminine woman" and "masculine man" are, but is more like a fantasy concept. Also most people will automatically want to figure out if someone is male or female, which makes it extra hard for nb people to actually be viewed as... not that. So "androgyny as expression for sexlessness/both sexes at once" mostly only works in theory, but that is (or can be) the intent behind a nonbinary person's androgynous style, as it can still offer some mental relief even if the outcome is sadly not aligned with the intent.

(Metaphor time: You know, like sometimes I wanna bake a nice looking cake, but it turns out looking like sad poop, but that's okay, because it still tastes good. Meaning, the outcome didn't match my intent, but the outcome was still good enough to enjoy.)

So basically: trans nb people may not be nb because they're gnc, but be gnc because they're nb. Just like many trans men tend to be masc because they're ftm, not ftm because they're masc. So the difference between gnc and nb is in the intent. I think that's the best way I can explain that distinction.

(Also last sidenote: anyone reading this transitioning because you're masc/fem/gnc... PLEASE reconsider that, I urge you!)

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