#Honestly I think this might be my favourite artwork i’ve ever made
Text
an olliewicks flower shop au to soothe the soul! this is somewhat based on mine and @tingo-tango’s tags on this post.
fields of flowers, soft beneath my heels
Ollie’s wrist-deep in a pot of soil, sweat rolling down his cheeks and sunlight streaming through the windows of Faber’s Flowers, when the shop’s bell rings and a new customer stumbles through the door. Ollie frowns slightly and hastily wipes the beads of sweat off his chin with the corner of his shirt, before plastering on his best customer service smile to greet whoever needs flowers at 7:30 am on a Tuesday morning. He mentally catalogues the possibilities; maybe they’ve forgotten their spouse’s birthday? Or maybe it’s a gift for someone at work? Maybe it’s an apology present because they accidentally cycled into a fruit stall and ruined a fresh batch of melons?
(Okay, maybe not, but it would be a refreshing change in the cycle of constant businessmen grovelling for their partner’s forgiveness)
Ollie shakes himself from his thoughts and grins across the counter at the customer, who’s sporting a baseball cap and a t-shirt that sits just right across his broad shoulders. Ollie’s eyes track down the guy’s biceps which are a tad too big for the sleeves. Ollie consciously shut his mouth to stop himself from gaping; this guy was hot. As Ollie’s gaze roams across the customer’s face to meet his eyes, he realises three things. Number one is that he definitely shouldn’t be ogling a customer like he’s a piece of meat. Number two is that he hasn’t said anything to this guy yet. Number three is that at least a minute of awkward silence and staring has passed since the customer entered the shop.
Ollie rips his eyes away from the customer’s face to stare at a spot slightly behind his left shoulder. “Hi! What can I help you with today?”
The guy shifts on the balls of his feet, scanning the shelves of bouquets and individual flowers. “Erm, I’m looking for a bouquet of flowers for my mom?” His voice raises at the end of his sentence, which is kind of cute, if Ollie does say so. He rubs the back of his neck and his checks flush pink. “I kinda need to apologise to her.”
Ah, a classic apology scenario. Got it.
“What’s the apology for?” Ollie asks as he turns to the sink behind the counter to wash his hands. “Not that you have to tell me that is; it just might help as we make the bouquet.” He unravels the roll of tissue paper and cuts off a square to package the flowers in.
Hot Guy winces. “Ah,” he says, “I kinda got into a fight in front of her the other night. She was not happy to say the least, so I figured I might as well get her some flowers to apologise for it.”
“Cool, cool.” Ollie grins at him. “What kinda flowers do you want for her?” He gestured to the whole shop, where various buckets of flowers lined the walls, each displaying a different species. “We can get her just a plain old bunch that’s all just the same type of flower, or we could mix and match, create a nice piece of artwork that she’ll admire rather than a bunch that’s boring and all the same.”
Hot Guy’s eyes flick up from the counter and meet Ollie’s own, moving slowly up his body. If Ollie was feeling particularly optimistic, he’d say the guy was checking him out, but he pushes that thought to the corner of his mind because he’s made way too many faux-pas in the past by asking out guys that have come into the shop just for all of them to be straight. Hot Guy clears his throat. “Yeah, a mixture sounds good. I know her favourite flowers are hyacinths if that helps?”
“That’s perfect.” Ollie shoots him the most reassuring smile he can think of, eyes softening. He grabs the bucket of blue hyacinths that sit behind him. “These alright?”
“Yeah, those are great,” Hot Guy says a little hoarsely, squinting at Ollie’s name tag, “Ollie.” Something settles in Hot Guy’s voice and he seems a bit more comfortable.
“So, why'd you get into a fight in front of your mom?” Ollie reaches for the bucket of Narcissus behind him and waves a bunch at Hot Guy for affirmation. He nods in return. “Doesn’t seem like the best idea to me-” Ollie trails off, hoping that Hot Guy might get the hint and finally introduce himself.
“Oh, uh, Pacer.” He coughs and the remaining tension leaks out of his posture. “Nah, a guy said something about Ma, and you know, I had to rush to defend her like the rash idiot I am.”
Ollie laughs. “At least, it’s one of the more noble reasons to get into a fight. There’s a bit more chance of forgiveness, then.”
Pacer nods and his gaze wanders away from where Ollie is deftly making the bouquet to settle on the purple Clematis.
“You like them?” Ollie makes a ‘gimme’ motion with his hands and Pacer passes the bucket over to him. Their hands briefly brush each other during the exchange and Ollie does everything in his power to ignore the jolt that goes through him at that brief skin to skin contact. “You’ve got a good eye; I was just about to grab them myself.”
“Yeah, my mom loves blue and yello-” Pacer cuts himself off with a sneeze. “Also, aren’t they the colours of the local hockey team around here? The Falcons?” Although he has a completely clueless tone to his voice, Pacer is studying Ollie’s reaction as if it might reveal the secrets of the universe.
“Yeah, the Falcs! I only get to see them every so often, but they’re great,” Ollie says, doing his level best to ignore Pacer’s sudden intensity. “I was actually on the same team as Jack Zimmermann in college, which was pretty cool.”
“Really?” Pacer’s enigmatic expression becomes even more indecipherable. “That is pretty cool.” He looks slightly over his shoulder towards the street before meeting Ollie’s eyes and flashing a genuine smile at him. “I actually played a bit of hockey myself, you know.”
Ollie tries to convince himself that the bubble of excitement that rushes through him is because Pacer is such a good conversationalist and not for any other reason, like the fact that they have a couple of things in common, or that Pacer is one of the hottest guys he’s ever seen.
(He fails.)
_X_
Pacer leaves about forty minutes later, with a bouquet and handwritten note in hand and a smile fixed firmly on his face. When Ollie goes to scrub down the counter and start repotting the plant he’d abandoned when Pacer had arrived, he spots a scrap of paper that definitely hadn’t been there before. The note is pretty cute; it’s a string of numbers and a smiley face, accompanied by a couple of lines from Pacer.
Would you like to go I would have asked you out earlier, but my tea friend always says it’s bad form to hit on workers whilst they’re on shift. Anyway, here’s my number if you want to go out some time? Call m Don’t worry if you don’t though!
- Pacer
Ollie grins as he opens up his phone to add the number to his contacts, but pauses as he sees a Google Alert come through that he’s set up for the Falcs. The text reads, Providence Falconers acquire forward Pacer Wicks from Colorado Avalanche in exchange for a second round pick in the 2022 NHL Draft, and immediately underneath the caption, Pacer’s smiling face stares out at him.
Pacer’s voice echoes in his mind. “I actually played a bit of hockey myself.”
Played a bit of hockey himself? Ollie cannot believe this guy. He plays in the fucking NHL and all he says is “I actually played a bit of hockey myself.”
However, Ollie thinks as he opens up the article to see a picture of a bruised Pacer from his last game with the Avs, it would explain why he needed to apologise for fighting in front of his mom.
_X_
Now that Ollie is aware of Pacer Wicks’ existence, he seems to follow him everywhere. Well, not Pacer exactly, but his name.
It begins, like many things, at the grocery store.
“Excuse me?” the cashier asks, as she’s scanning his groceries two days after Pacer first came into the florist’s. “Are you that hockey player? Pacer Wicks?”
Ollie furrows his eyebrows. He doesn’t think that him and Pacer look that similar, but then again, Pacer’s only been in Providence a couple of days, so people don’t exactly know what he looks like yet. “No, sorry.”
The cashier purses her lips, taking a moment to study him again before ringing him up. “Huh, sorry! You guys just look really alike is all.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it.” Ollie gathers up his groceries. “These things happen sometimes.”
(He almost texts Pacer to tell him about it, but, as Ollie looks at the clock on his phone, he realises that Pacer probably isn’t going to want to receive a message about how someone thought they looked similar mid-way through his game against the Pens.
Also, he’d have to wish him luck and honestly, as much as Ollie loves the Falcs, he wouldn’t wish them too much luck against his hometown team.)
_X_
ollie
hey! i’ve finished off that other apology bouquet for your ma!
let me know when you want to swing by and pick it up!
also i was watching the game tonight; do you need me to make up another identical one for your ma, or do you wanna come into the shop to choose this one?
pacer
thanks ol! i’ll probably swing by to pick it up tomorrow and then help make the next one at the same time?
ollie
sounds like a plan!!
_X_
When he said these things happen sometimes to that cashier in the grocery store, he didn’t expect them to happen all the goddamn time. Be it at his favourite café, on the street, or on the commuter rail, someone always, always, asks if he’s Pacer Wicks.
_X_
ollie
oof that hit from eriksen looks like it’s gonna leave a mark
pacer
yeah, half my face is swollen
ollie
yikes
pacer
i assume we’re still on for dinner in a couple of days right?
even if my stunning visage has been marred by the fists of a schooner
ollie
that was a very weird way of putting it
but yeah, i still wanna go out with you even if your face looks like a dodgeball
_X_
A girl taps him on the shoulder at Bitty’s Bites downtown. “Excuse me, are you Pacer Wicks?”
Ollie smiles sheepishly at her, brandishing his coffee cup with a scrawled Oily on it as if it might keep the Pacer Wicks fans away. “Sorry, you’ve got the wrong dude.”
He hurries out of there as quickly as his legs can take him after that, hands fumbling for his phone so that he can text Pacer about it.
ollie
jdshjkdsjh a girl just asked if i was you
pacer
oh?
ollie
yeah, i don’t really know why so many people ask if i’m you
especially as they usually ask when you’re on a roadie??
so i don’t get why they know who you are without knowing the falcs’ schedules
pacer
maybe they’re a fan of my dashing good looks rather than my hockey?
isn’t that why you agreed to go out with me after all?
Ollie grins to himself before sending back three words.
don’t push it
_X_
He’s less generous to the guy on the commuter rail, but in fairness that’s mainly because he stole the last seat just before Ollie could get there and it’s 6:30 in the morning.
“Hey, aren’t you that hockey pl-?”
Ollie barely looks up from his phone before cutting him off with a sharp “No.”
_X_
Today, someone even asks him at the flower shop.
“No,” he says, heaving the deepest sigh he can whilst still remaining in customer service mode, “I think Pacer Wicks might have other things to do on a Saturday afternoon than work the till at a flower shop.” He shuts the cash drawer on the register with a bang and hands the customer their change and bouquet as quickly as he can. “Thank you for shopping with us! Enjoy your day!”
He collapses back onto the wooden stool that he keeps behind the counter, taking a breather for approximately five seconds before a laugh echoes through the shop. Ollie jumps half a foot in the air before locating Pacer, who’s stood in the corner of the shop inspecting a piece of sea holly.
He’s dressed up pretty nicely considering hockey players’ notoriously bad fashion sense, wearing a button-up, a nice pair of jeans that do all the right things for his hockey butt, and his ever-present baseball cap, but this time, unlike his first visit to the shop, it’s sat backwards on his head. He spins around to face the back of the shop, grinning his face off. “I’m impressed by the fact that she asked you that whilst I was standing in the shop and she still didn’t notice me.” He laughs, smirking across at Ollie. “Does that happen often?”
“Yeah, some people are surprisingly oblivious sometimes,” he says, “but also, I don’t look that much like you?” He pauses, trying to work out what Pacer’s face means. He places his hands on his hips and jokingly rounds on Pacer. “Do I?”
Pacer chuckles, taking a few steps closer so that he’s leaning against the counter. “Not that much, but would it be so bad if you looked like me?” A mock-wounded expression plays across his features as he presses his hand to his chest.
Ollie takes off his apron and hangs it up behind the counter. “Nope, because you are extremely hot.” He threads his fingers through the hockey player’s belt loops to pull him closer, feeling emboldened by Pacer’s flirting. “And if that means that people are inadvertently calling me hot whilst asking if I’m you?” He shrugs. “I can live with it.”
Pacer has to lower his gaze to meet Ollie’s eyes, the two inch height difference between them clearly obvious, even if Ollie is six foot, thank you very much. “You were right about something though,” Pacer murmurs, “I do have better things to do than stand in a flower shop on a Saturday afternoon.”
“Like what?” Ollie raises an eyebrow.
Pacer smiles softly down at him, taking his hand and interlacing his fingers with Ollie’s. “Like taking the cute florist that works there on a date for starters.” Pacer starts to move them towards the shop’s entrance. “There’s this lit-” He sneezes abruptly.
Ollie tilts Pacer’s head downwards. “That’s like the fourth time you’ve sneezed in the shop.” He rubs his thumb over his cheek, frowning when he sees that Pacer’s eyes are slightly red. “Are you okay?”
Pacer waves him off. “Yeah, it’s fine; my antihistamines just wore off.”
His-? Ollie furrows his eyebrows before leading his date out of the shop. “Pacer, are you allergic to flowers?”
“No?” Pacer’s sheepish and slightly bunged up reply says everything that Ollie needs to know.
“Fuck, Pace, why have you been coming to the shop so much if you’re allergic? Surely you don’t like the aesthetics of flowers that much that you need to torture your sinuses every spare minute of the day.” Ollie pinches the bridge of his nose, voice full of exasperation.
Pacer holds his hands up in surrender. “In my defence, the first few times were because I did need to buy Ma flowers, but I didn’t keep coming back because the flowers were pretty.” He pulls Ollie close and frames his face with his hands. “I came back because the florist was.”
_X_
The final time Ollie is mistaken for Pacer is five years later as he’s heading towards the arena for Pacer’s final game of the season. In fairness, dressed in a Wicks jersey and a Falcs snapback, he probably looks more like Pacer now than he has at any time since he first got mistaken for him in the grocery store.
“Excuse me?” A teenager taps him on the shoulder, their arm slung around a friend. “Are you Pacer Wicks?”
Ollie grins at the kid. “Nope,” he says, trying not to take too much joy in the hope fading from the fan’s eyes before he drops the bombshell, “I am his husband though.”
“Really?” The teenager’s eyes light up. “You’re not kidding, right?”
“Nope.” Ollie holds up his phone screen to show the kid a photo of Pacer kissing his cheek, just so that they know he’s not lying. “D’you wanna meet him after the game?” He smirks at them. “After all, I do know a guy.”
#the formatting's kinda whack#but it's late#so i'll format it properly when i post it on ao3 tomorrow#ollie and wicks#my writing#omgcp#it's like 3k i'm so sorry
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rammstein M&G - Stockholm | 14.08.19
So this might not be hugely interesting to anyone, but there's a few little things I wanted to remember from last week’s M&G and what was probably the best 15 minutes of my life ♥
[Quick disclaimer; I didn’t take most of these photos, the only reason I’ve watermarked them is because I see M&G photos stolen without credits all the time and unfortunately I lost track of who in our lovely group took each photograph 💔]
BathrobeOlli™ was the first to come in and sign. He sped through very quick and didn’t say a lot - but he was still really nice. A girl near me asked him if she could have a hug and he said yes in his super low voice and gave her a big hug, it was really sweet 😭. I was super nervous and he seemed in a hurry so I just said thank you when he signed my artwork and let him move on ♥
Richard arrived next, and Paul, Till, Flake and Schneider must have been right behind him because by the time he’d greeted the first person in the line, the rest of them had all appeared in the doorway. There was a lot of loud banging (kind of like a drum roll, I guess) which I didn’t see the source of but it did sound as though one of them had been hitting or kicking either a wall or a door or something to announce their arrival 😂😂
Flake and Schneider joined Richard in starting at the other side of the room and Till and Paul stuck around. This meant Till was coming our way next; and honestly he was laughing and smiling a lot more than I had ever expected. A couple of the girls ahead in the line were German, and whatever they said had him laughing, then when he got to the Swedish girls beside me he was listing some of the Swedish words he knew - and he asked them how to say something (it may have been “you’re welcome”? I can’t quite remember now). He just seemed totally in a good mood, and it was really nice to see him smiling so much!
When he signed my drawing he did it sooooo slow and careful because the paper is really thin and I had nothing solid to put underneath it to act as a table. It’s not a big deal really, but I just really appreciated the care and attention he put in to making sure he didn’t rush and mess it up 😭 took him like a solid ten seconds just to sign.
Till went on to chat to the girl beside me, and then Paul appeared. When I gave him my drawing to sign, he gestured to Jens (who was standing behind with a camera) and told me “this is the guy who took this photo”, meaning the photograph I’d used as a reference for the artwork. I already knew this, since - lets be honest - the guy takes the prettiest goddamn photos. So I replied “I know” and Paul said “You know? How do you know?” to which I went “...I follow him on instagram” 😂 Jens was listening to all of this and mouthed “thank you” at me which was just the sweetest thing honestly.
Then I think I stopped to take a pic of Till with the girl next to me (I honestly can’t remember what order anything happened in so could be wrong lmfao) and I probably mentioned something about hoping the pictures were okay because I was shaking so much, and then the next thing I know I hear Till laughing loudly, saying something along the lines of “look at this” whilst gesturing at my shaky hands and then he literally GRABS MY PHONE OFF ME.
Then he fiddles with it for a few seconds before holding it up to take pictures of me and Paul together. Later when I flicked through my shots I realised not only did he just take the pictures but he also had the good sense to put the camera into portrait mode before doing so. When he handed the phone back to me he said “they are lovely photos” 😭
Till carried on down the line and Paul chatted to me a bit more. I told him the drawing took me a month to finish and around about when I said that Richard came barrelling down the line and had signed it before I even noticed he’d appeared in the first place. Then it was like a switch had flipped in Paul’s head and his attention was completely distracted 😂. He sort of grabbed at / dragged Richard over to stand on the other side of him .. . . . and then they were both looking at my drawing together. It was the probably the most surreal moment of my life 😭 just couldn’t believe I had BOTH of them standing beside me at the same time (still can’t believe it, actually) and I don’t even remember anything they said, because my brain was just internally screaming the entire time.
This is literally my favourite photo ever aaaaAAAAaaH
Anyway just as Richard was managing to get my totally frayed attention onto him, Paul takes the paper from me completely and holds it up so Jens can take a picture of it on his camera and aaaaaaaaaaah I was internally screaming all over again.
I was so surprised but I am still SO stoked about it. It was just the coolest fuckin’ thing. I know the boys in the band see art much cooler than mine all the time so I didn’t expect much from their reactions, but the fact that Jens liked it enough to want a picture of it made my whole life ♥ 😭
During this, Richard told me the drawing was good and that was pretty cool to hear from him in particular since he said “I’m very picky” directly afterwards. (Of course you are Richard I think we all know that 👀) He was really kind and was smiling a lot too and just, ugh 😍
Here’s Paul patiently waiting for me to get my picture taken with Richard before handing me back my art adsjglkd; I love him sm
Richard moved to the next person after that but Paul actually stuck around a little longer, chatting to me some more. Out of all of them, he definitely took the longest amount of time with each person in the meet and greet and was the last person still circulating the room at the end. Not to mention that he was so lovely and smiley the whole time 😭😭
Schneider and Flake came around next, and my nerves were really shot by this point so I was probably a bit quiet and awkward, but they were both really nice. Somebody got a picture of Schneider signing the drawing ♥
Just after Till finished meeting people and went to leave, a few of the girls ran up and asked for hugs. (So many stormed him at once that he laughed and shouted “It’s like some kind of orgy!”). I don’t normally ask people for hugs but my crazed brain took over when I saw everyone doing it so I hurried over to ask for one too just as he was about to leave. He gave me a look that was like “*sigh* just ONE more then”, and gave me a hug before taking off ♥
So yeah, that’s kind of it really! The whole thing was over so quickly but it was completely incredible and even better than I ever could’ve hoped for 💖💖
♥ ♥ ♥
#also till got silver sharpie ink on my phone... which i havent wiped off.. and never will#by the way richard is absolutely gorgeous and his eyes are stunning in person like i nearly had heart failure when he started talking to me#rammstein#till lindemann#richard z kruspe#paul landers#oliver riedel#christoph schneider#flake lorenz#rammstein meet and greet#rammstein stockholm#paul is the absolute sweetest and none of us truly deserve him#also jens is so lovely and he can stay and be their photographer forever THANKS#if anyone from this m&g is reading and took any of these photos THANK YOU FOREVER I LOVE THEM#im eternally so so grateful#no pic with flake because i was talking and i look like more of a dopey idiot than i do in the others lmfao#i dont know why i look so tired in the photos of me... well okay i do i was being a tourist around stockholm and i had the classic#anxiety headache that i always get before the rammstein shows#but you know.. its not every day you get photos with rammstein#personal#ignore me#(seriously dont read this if you dont care im only uploading it for a couple of people who wanted to read! :) )#my face#oh and pleaaaaase don't repost anything ♥
318 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)
tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah
tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)
One:
tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?
ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu
Two:
rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!
1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine?
ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss
2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed)
one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now
3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing?
oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me
4. what is your comfort food?
am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo
5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive?
i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,
6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book?
i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy)
7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be?
ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!
8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed?
funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.
9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean?
oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing
10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be?
my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?
my questions:
what is your go-to feel good movie?
are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?
do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?
what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)
do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?
what do you do to unwind?
what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)
what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?
what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?
do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?
THREE
rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.
AIR ༉⋆͙̈
i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me
FIRE ༉⋆͙̈
i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing
WATER ༉⋆͙̈
i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words
EARTH ༉⋆͙̈
i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life
AETHER ༉⋆͙̈
i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally
FOUR
the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better!
PERSONAL
name: sarah
nickname: bells
birthday: april 17th
zodiac: aries
nationality: chinese american
languages: english, some spanish, some korean
gender: female
sexuality: baby bi bi bi~
height: 5′10
BLOG STUFF
inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops
meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.
blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think
followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol
FAVORITES
favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins
favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD
favourite colour: pink and purple!!
favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)
favourite flower: sunflower
favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria
favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT
RANDOM
average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly
cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either
coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate
current time: 5:29pm
dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?
dream job: actress
hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics
hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?
last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)
last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9
no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2
random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength
SIX
10 songs i can’t stop listening to:
love me 4 me- rina sawayama
cherry- rina sawayama
in & out- red velvet
crush culture- conan gray
manic- conan gray
the king- conan gray
summer- pentagon
told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)
fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama
someone who loves me- sara bareilles
#these were sooooooooooo fun!!#thank you for tagging me eggy#i feel like i maybe exposed myself for being a gluttonous fool tho#lmaoooo#fr tho try these games out!! so fun#sarah.tmi#tag games
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
For Adrien AUG-reste: Day 31
For @adrienaugust
If you prefer, you can follow along on Ao3 or on FFnet.
Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30
_______________________________________
Fair warning. This chapter made me sob so much while writing it that I had to lock myself in the bathroom for 15 minutes to recover. And then I still sobbed myself secretly to sleep that night. I've avoided editing this chapter until right this moment because I was afraid to read it again. You might need a box of Kleenex before you start.
_____________________________________
One last entry. Marinette’s hands shook as she turned to the last page of words, the writing less refined than it had been in the rest of the book, an indication of the lack of strength Adrien had suffered in his last few days before needing to be hospitalized for good.
She found her way to his office, mostly empty now other than the desk and his oversized chair. Gently she ran her fingers over the worn leather arms as she settled into the seat. She put his journal on the desk and flipped it open to the entry.
There was no title today. Seeing that it was addressed directly to her made her uncomfortable, worried.
My Lady,
I’m not sure how much time I have left, in truth. I’ve been feeling so tired lately. I can barely keep my eyes open and I know. I know it’s almost time. But first, I need to tell you a story.
Once upon a time, there was a boy. A boy who had a life of a prince. He lived in a castle, had his every whim met in a blink of an eye, and everyone in the kingdom seemed to adore him. Except, maybe, his Father. His father was afraid to let the boy out of his sight. You see, the boy’s mother had disappeared without a trace. So, the Father kept him locked in his room when at home, and guarded fiercy whenever he was out. The boy had no real friends, only loneliness.
And then, one day, a magic ring appeared. That ring gave the boy a way to escape from the castle in secret. A way to be freed from his cage, from his life alone.
On his first day out in the world, that boy met a girl. A beautiful girl dressed all in red, with her dark hair in the cutest pigtails and with eyes that looked like the sky. A girl who doubted herself. Not knowing how to handle all the feelings that he had right then, the boy acted foolish and brashly overconfident. But when she became fire and steel, her self-doubt melting away, he knew, from that moment, he loved that girl. Together, they had a responsibility to save the kingdom from a darkness that threatened to overtake it. They were a team.
The boy began to stand up for himself at home, just a little, begging for some semblance of normalcy - and his Father reluctantly agreed to send him to school. The safety measures remained, but he was able to be with others for the first time in his whole life. He stumbled a lot, not knowing how to be a good friend, how to behave in a group, or generally what to do around others.
There, he met another girl. Soft and pink with pigtails like his partner, this girl started with fire and anger. Thinking he’d done something bad and deciding he was a fool, she ignored him - at least until he managed to get her to listen to him and he explained that this was all new to him.
Then, she became one of his closest friends when he didn’t use the ring. A friendship he valued more than anything.
The girl in red was his best friend when he escaped the walls of his room. They would battle evil, laughing along the way. Somehow they became a team who worked together to defeat the encroaching darkness that was taking over the kingdom. His heart felt like it would explode with how much he cared for her.
A cocky cat who didn’t know how to talk to girls (or really how to talk to anyone). She’d roll her eyes at his antics and remind him to focus on their mission. He tried, he really did, but all he wanted was for her to love him as much as he loved her.
Together they won. They defeated their enemy - who turned out to be the boy’s Father.
Now alone, the boy begged the girl to tell him her name. When she did, he was stunned. She was his close friend from school - the one who was fire and softness and pink. His lady in red.
It took too long, perhaps, for the masks to drop and for the boy and the girl to discover each other - friends and partners both, all that time. But, most amazingly of all….. she loved him back.
Then they kissed, got married, and lived happily ever after.
The End.
You see Mari - you are that girl. My friend. My partner. My Lady.
All our lives, I’ve spent trying to protect you, when in truth, it was you who saved me.
Without you, I was nothing. I was alone. Unloved.
You gave me everything.
I don’t want to go, Marinette. I don’t. I wish I could stay here with you and hold you forever. Tell you how much I love you every single morning. Never let you go. But I can’t. It’s time for me to go.
Promise me, my Lady, that you will be strong without me. That you will be Ladybug again - fierce, on fire, able to stand strong. Be steel. Because, if you can’t do that, I don’t know how to say goodbye.
I wish I could write more, but it’s too hard to hold a pen for long. Instead, I’m going to spend whatever time I have left with you: watching your face, holding your hand, hugging you, loving you in every single way that I can.
My life has been Miraculous. All because of you, Marinette.
From now to my last breath, and a million years beyond, I love you.
Eternally,
Your Kitty.
He was gone. Truly gone.
Pressing the journal to her chest, Marinette collapsed her head onto his desk and let the heartbroken sobs tear her apart. She stayed that way for a long time, unable to move or feel much more than the horrible pain of losing your other half.
How does one go on without their best friend, their partner, their soulmate? She had no idea, even if he had begged her to do so.
Dimly, she heard a voice calling for her in the hallway, and quickly moving footsteps in her direction, but she still couldn’t move, the tears long dried up.
A set of arms encircled her. Then another. Then another. And more.
“Maman,” the first one whispered, squeezing her tightly. “We love you.” More voices echoed the same.
Her children. Her grandchildren.
That’s how she could go on without him. The only way she could keep her heart beating still without him.
I love you too, Kitty. Wait for me.
_______________________________
AUTHOR: Thank you so much for joining me in another month-long adventure. This one was quite the emotional rollercoaster, I admit it. I felt like I was intruding on something extremely personal and intimate between our two favourite heroes with this one but it was too beautiful to turn away.
Thanks for all your comments, likes, feedback, questions, and silent reading (I see you. I appreciate you!). Honestly, hearing that things I write mean something to others is a wonderful feeling. <3
Thank you to @adrienaugust for hosting a great set of prompts and monthly fun. I’ve enjoyed seeing the artwork and peeking at other people’s work, working on my own project, and also teaming up with my writing buddies for the weekly prompts. :)
Stay tuned - more stories are coming your way! I've got a few in progress, some more monthly teamed-up stories coming before the end of the year, and who knows, I might do NaNoWriMo in November! :D
#adrienaugust#adrienaugreste#adrien agreste#miraculous ladybug#lyramaearcher#ml fanfic#get your kleenex#adrien and marinette#ladybug and chat noir
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is your invitation to the beaumont bash [interview with maxwell beaumont]
I wrote this last week and it’s been in my drafts since. This is Maxwell’s turn for an interview (I know it might a weird way to write fic but I actually kind of enjoy writing this sort of thing). It’s pure fluff.
I also did this for Drake, which you can read here
@jovialyouthmusic @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @sirbeepsalot @drakesensworld @brightpinkpeppercorn @katedrakeohd @notoriouscs @be-still-my-aching-heart @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @dcbbw @iplaydrake
****************************************************************************************
‘Cinnamon brioche bun?’
Maxwell Beaumont brandishes the pastry at me, a wide grin on his face. I have no choice but to take it; I feel like if I reject it, it will be like kicking a puppy.
We are sat in the Living area of the Beaumont Manor. It is now September, the month of the annual Beaumont Bash. It is like the Met Gala but on a lesser scale. That said, it is still the biggest party in Cordonia and anyone who is anyone marks the Bash in their calendars.
The Beaumont Bashes are legendary. Maxwell and his older brother, Bertrand, the Duke of Ramsford, are renowned for spending obscene amounts of money on menageries, fire breathers, a torchlit procession - yes, really- and everything else in between.
Today, I am interviewing the younger Beaumont brother as he is in the final stages of planning the Beaumont Bash. This is Maxwell’s first interview and I’m honoured he agreed to meet me. In three weeks, the Beaumont manor will open to the elite of society and wonders will await behind the door. He is giving Duke Magazine exclusive behind the scenes access to his final touches and judging from the mood boards he has propped up against the walls, this may be the biggest Beaumont Bash ever.
Maxwell is taller than he looks in photographs. He is lanky and a smile permanently lights up his features. His voice isn’t that deep, more soft and lilting, occasionally increasing into a high pitched screech as he gets excited showing me his mood boards.
‘Last year, the theme was Greek Odyssey,’ he tells me. ‘So think white dresses, white suits, waitresses dressed like goddesses, we had a giant fountain in the foyer with a life size statue of Poseidon built into it. But this year, we’re going bigger.’
He guides me over to the biggest mood board he has. It is pinned full of images of flapper dresses, vintage cars, bathtubs with champagne bottles inside, fireworks. The theme is obviously the 1920s, which seems apt considering a Beaumont Bash is always decadent and excessive.
‘I’ve hired a stage show!’ he says. I ask him to repeat that, certain I’ve misheard.
‘As in, I’ve hired a stage show!’ he repeats. ‘The Great Gatsby is currently on Broadway in New York, so I’ve hired the cast to come to the Bash and act out their show! It’s a musical!’
He runs me through the night’s time line. ‘Okay, so 7pm, our guests arrive. They have to dress up in 1920s style, otherwise there is no admittance. Sorry, but an effort has to be made. Drinks and canapes will be served - note the fountain which will pour out champagne- and then the stage show will perform for an hour and a half. Afterwards, fireworks outside, more drinks, more dancing, more debauchery!’
He leads me outside to the vast gardens. ‘The stage show will perform here,’ he says, pointing to a stage. As we walk, I study him. He is fizzing with energy. He is like a champagne bottle that has been waiting to be opened for months, before being shaken and its contents burst out of the bottle. I ask if he has always enjoyed parties and party planning; clearly, this should be his job.
‘I’ve always loved parties,’ he says. ‘My parents used to throw legendary parties when I was younger. I was always sent to bed early, just as the guests were getting a little more excited, and I would always sneak out of bed at midnight to watch. I’d sit on top of the stairs, trying to stay hidden, and watch as the guests drank more champagne and danced. I once saw my father use a sword to open a bottle of champagne; I learned how to do it so I can continue his party trick.’
I tell him that it’s interesting that his brother gets involved. The Duke of Ramsford is often seen with a serious expression on his face, tight lipped. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who lets his hair down but as photos and witness accounts tell me, he is the first person on the dance floor and the last to leave.
‘I think the Bashes give him an excuse to let loose,’ Maxwell admits. ‘He is always so serious, so responsible.. hosting the Bash means he can put on a different persona, be the person he wants to be. Do you think he enjoys wearing sweater vests? Hell no! If it was up to Bertrand, he would wear kimonos and sparkly boots every day. He is a flamboyant peacock hidden in the body of a pigeon.’
I blink at this description but I don’t question it; Maxwell knows his brother inside out. He takes me back into the manor and upstairs to his bedroom. It’s a large space, painted blue, with beautiful artwork hanging on the walls and random items that he tells me he picked up in flea markets or while on holidays to far off places. There is a painting of a peacock on the wall above his bed.
‘Peacocks are my favourites,’ he says bashfully. I ask why. It’s not like they’re cute or cuddly.
‘Why wouldn’t they be?!’
I ask Maxwell what he does in his free time.
‘I plan parties, I write, I like to visit museums and galleries..’
I’m surprised and I tell him so.
‘Why?’ he asks me. ‘Museums and galleries are where I get my inspiration. I visit the exhibits and I think of what I could do next. A few years back, I visited an exhibition about India and I was obsessed with this beautiful silver and blue sari that was on display. I went around and managed to source similar material and had it made into my own outfit; the Bash that year was India themed. We had elephants in the garden and the food was excellent.’
He looks down, picking at his fingernail, before saying quietly, ‘Life is meant to be beautiful. I never see things in black or grey. Everything to me is vivid. It has to be bold and bright; it’s why I’m always happy and positive. Life is to be enjoyed and surrounding myself with pretty things, making pretty things.. it makes me happy.’
I see now that Maxwell Beaumont is always underestimated. Many of the public just view him as a party boy who doesn’t contribute anything to society. Others adore him, mainly because his Instagram feed is full of fun photos of holidays, his friends, animals, books he is reading.
But he is so much more than that. In front of me is this young man who has a membership to the National Museum of Cordonia. He has a subscription to Architectural Digest magazine. He tells me he is currently writing a spy novel. He is warm and kind. I like him.
He stands up and opens his wardrobe to show me his outfit the Bash. It is a white shirt with black trousers, but he has made it interesting by adding a blue sequin blazer, blue sequin bow tie and blue suede loafers with silver tassels. He adds white gloves and a pocket watch on a chain.
He gives an excited giggle and claps his hands together. I ask who is on the VIP List.
‘Drake and Camille, obviously,’ he begins, name checking the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria. ‘I’m so excited to see how Camille depicts the theme, I’m thinking she’s going to be all sultry... the King is going, his brother Leo, Olivia, Hana...’
Maxwell blushes when he mentions Hana Lee’s name. The best friend of Duchess Camille of Valtoria, Hana has been spotted out on Maxwell’s arm over the past six months. The two of them kept their relationship private for a while but eagle eyed fans watched out for candid photos. When Maxwell finally made it Instagram official with a photo of the two of them at a carnival sharing candyfloss, with Hana shoving a big piece of it in Maxwell’s face as she laughed, captioned with a heart emoji, his followers rejoiced. They christened them Hanwell.
Having interviewed Hana myself, I was surprised to hear about the two of them. Hana is shy, quiet and incredibly polite. She was a tricky interviewee to begin with as she seemed so nervous in case of divulging private information, but once she settled and got into the swing of the interview, she opened up and was giggly, sweet and complimenting my shoes.
In contrast, Maxwell offered me a cinnamon brioche bun before I had even sat down.
But, having talked to him more fully now, I guess I can see why the two of them work.
‘I push her to be bold,’ he tells me. ‘She can be so down about herself but she is honestly brilliant at everything. Anything she does, she turns to gold. But she often doesn’t believe in herself so I push her to just do her best. Believe in herself more.’
What does she do for you? I ask.
‘She makes me see that I don’t have to be 100% on all the time. I’m allowed to feel sad, or be quiet, or just stay still. I’m always on the go, needing to do things. Maybe it’s because after my parents died, I felt like I needed to be the one to make my brother laugh.. I made myself into the joker, the fun loving guy. But Hana has taught me that it’s okay to have quiet moments and not to pressure myself to be constantly on adrenaline. I can relax and nothing is going to go up in flames.’
I feel I need to probe him further about his dynamic with his brother but I don’t want to over step. Their parents died in a car crash when Maxwell was ten and Bertrand was fifteen and it is common knowledge that Bertrand became Maxwell’s guardian - their family is very small and as a result, they were the only Beaumonts left.
Maxwell waves his hand away. ‘You can ask me,’ he tells me. ‘Bertrand is basically my dad, brother and teacher in one. He’s taught me so much about the importance of being a Beaumont, about our roles in society. He always made sure I studied hard at school; considering I couldn’t sit still most of the time, he made me put my head down and just work. I studied loads and got A’s across the board. I was such a geek! But in all seriousness, Bertrand assumed this responsibility for me. I owed it to him to work hard at school.’
Maxwell went on to study at Cordonia University, despite achieving top grades. He could have attended a more prestigious institution but, as he tells me, he wanted to experience something normal.
‘My life, being a Beaumont, it’s not normal,’ he admits, flopping down onto his bed. ‘I’m friends with the King. My life is just a carousel of parties, titles, etiquette, balls, money.. so when I graduated from high school, which was a private education that was full of boys like me, well, I wanted a change. So I chose to go to Cordonia University. Just to stress, it’s not a bad school in the slightest. It’s a great school; but compared to the institutions I could have gone to, it was on a lower level. I hope that comes across okay? I don’t want to sound arrogant..’
He blushes and stammers, trying to think of the best way to word it. I can tell you this now, reader; he is not arrogant.
‘Anyway,’ he says, giving up on trying to justify his words, ‘I went there and I loved it. I still studied hard but I made friends with people who weren’t noble. Bertrand wanted me to have a bodyguard with me at all times but I said no; I wanted to be a normal student. So for four years, I went to lectures and seminars. And the parties! That was my proper education! Beach parties, pizza parties, revision parties... so many parties! But some of the people I’m friends with are still from my university years. I think it’s why I’m not exactly your typical noble..’
He certainly isn’t that and it’s quite refreshing.
Maxwell finished university with first class grades (despite all the partying) and came back to Cordonia to learn the ropes from Bertrand.
We go back to lighter topics. I ask what he thinks about the Met Gala.
‘I am waiting on my invitation from Anna Wintour...’ he says, giving me a wink. His face then goes serious. ‘I mean it, I’m waiting. You work under the Conde Naste company right? They also house Vogue. Ask her to send me an invite!’
I wonder which celebrities he thinks interprets the Met theme perfectly every year.
‘Blake Lively,’ he says instantly. ‘Oh my God, her red dress and that crown she wore last year, god she looked incredible! Rihanna too, dressing as the Pope. I would love to invite her to a Bash. Who knows what she would do?!’
My questions turn to his guests. Who drinks the most? I think it has to be the Duke of Valtoria, due to the fact he is known for always drinking whiskey at balls and never champagne, and that he just looks like he can drink you under the table.
‘You would think that Drake drinks the most..’ Maxwell muses, ‘but honestly - I hope he doesn’t kill me for saying this because this could be treason.. is this treason? Can he decide what’s treason and what isn’t? Fuck it - King Liam. Liam drinks the most.’
I choke on my water.
He nods quickly. ‘The King, god save him, loves to let loose. He tried to raid our wine cellar once. Bertrand caught him.’
I ask who is the heavy weight.
‘Olivia,’ he answers. I blanch at her name. The Duchess of Lythikos is notorious for her cold exterior. Every journalist I know who has met her have left their meetings with her in tears.
‘Yeah, Olivia can shot straight vodka and just doesn’t feel any effect,’ he says. ‘By contrast, Camille can handle four drinks then ends up trying to steal the sword I use to open champagne bottles. A trip to A&E happened once.. ohhh boy, Drake looked like he was going to kill me for letting his wife near that thing.. '
I am tempted to get the full story on this but I have a feeling Maxwell won't be as forthcoming. Drake Walker might actually kill him this time.
We go back downstairs to the kitchen. Maxwell shows me his plans for the menu at the Bash. ‘Canapes first, but they’re... scientific...’ he says mysteriously. He won’t tell me why they’re scientific but I imagine they’ll taste interesting. ‘My favourite food item is always the dessert. This year, I’m putting together something mixed with Toblerlone, Nutella and marshmallows. A sugary feast!’
He starts to look impatient to continue his planning so I take this as my cue. I start to pack away my notes and dictaphone. Maxwell gives me a warm smile and stretches out his arms. 'Bring it in!' he hollers, pulling me into a bear hug.
I part from him awkwardly. Maxwell goes pale. 'Okaaay so what's the correct way to say bye to a journalist? I've never been interviewed before.. Sorry, I'm a hugger, everyone always gets a hug from me.'
He steps back and he looks at the table before clicking his fingers. He reaches out for a wrapped item and hands it to me.
'Another for the road!' he beams.
It's a cinnamon brioche bun.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chamomile Comic Trivia #11
#51 Shift
I wanted Vienna to be more involved now that I was starting to firmly establish the cast as a set of four. Vienna working with Brianna to mirror Cammie working with Layla wasn’t planned at the moment I decided to have Brianna’s unseen staff member leave, it just worked out nicely that way. I also had some story ideas for Brianna and Vienna’s 1-on-1 friendship that would be a contrast to Brianna and Cammie’s 1-on-1 friendship but I admit at the time of writing this commentary (comic #147) I haven’t really gotten around to doing that much at all lol.
This strip also tasked me with deciding whether I was gonna draw comedic gore/blood in the series where appropriate. I decided to keep it subtle and implied in the end. I always feel like the way I draw that sort of thing is too cartooney to be taken seriously anyway but some folks are more sensitive to it than others
#52 Trial
It was time to stop making Vienna so one-note, making her the butt of a joke for once was as much for me as writer as it was for Cammie. Also, while (unintentionally) her left hand is rarely seen during the period, Cammie’s hand remains bandaged for the next few weeks! I’ve mentioned previously but Cammie comics usually take place in real time unless a multi-comic story arc very obviously has strips covering a single scene or day.
#53 Chips
One of my fave visual gag strips but argh I have the biggest regret to be honest that I didn’t end it on the panel above. I pushed the joke just a bit further than I needed to - like, the tape measure burning up and giving Cammie no information to work with is funny, but the mere act of her trying to use it at all is way funnier, I should have ended on the stronger moment. I feel like I’ve gotten slightly better at this (there’s a lot of comics since where I’ve left “kinda funny” stuff on the cutting room floor to let funnier jokes shine brighter), and honestly the idea of squeezing a little more out of a joke is something I’m considering for bonus content if I ever get round to doing a stupid patreon already.
For anyone who wonders how I can possibly come up with something to make a joke out of every week, I recommend you read the instructions on all fire equipment in your workplace. I came up with at least one comic by doing so. Said information might have other uses too, I guess.
#54 Sigh
This is one that I personally thought was just gonna be a bit of an inbetweeny-nothing-special comic but ended up being one of my most popular! A RL friend even told me it was their favourite strip to date at the time. A lot of fun was definitely had drawing silly Cammie faces.
Frogy Soundtrack CD in Panel 1! Filled with midi music I liked from games I was unfamiliar with that I downloaded off VGMusic.com when I was 10 or so and just decided “this is music from the Frogy video games* now”.
*Note, very few Frogy video games made it past the conceptual stage of development due to budgetary constraints
#55 Excitable
I’m not really much of a dog person, there are very few breeds that I find aesthetically appealing, but I didn’t want to be so boring as to just simply design Layla’s dog to be the same breed as my own. Fortunately Cocker Spaniels would be one of the other few breeds I like so I went with that.
Forgive getting serious for a minute but... I actually learned via an anonymous person on curious cat, within the past year, that it’s uncommon for Muslims to keep pet dogs. Obviously Layla’s - or anyone’s - faith is never brought up in the comics, I merely sought to provide the representation of “a person who wears a hijab” when I designed Layla. My goal is nothing more than to add to the pile of media that completely normalises the choice to dress as modestly as Layla chooses. I realise to some that might be a bit of a cop-out, and I don’t think there’s much I could say to convince such people otherwise - the honest truth is I don’t think I’m equipped to provide a perfect representation of an Islamic character (case in point, I gave her a dog without even thinking it was something I’d need to do research on lol), but I’d rather do something than nothing out of fear I’ll get it wrong.
While faith is not mentioned in the comics, where I can, I’d at least like to portray Layla so that she doesn’t clash with the idea of her being Muslim. That said, one advice I took to heart from a thread giving advice on writing Muslim characters is that, as with all faiths, some people do not follow their relgion’s rules strictly, be it on purpose or otherwise, so don’t be afraid to write “imperfect” Muslim characters - which I think it’s fair to say Layla is, and as someone who has no personal connection to the faith, I am far more equipped to write. Equally, after I DID do research into the whole dog thing, I was able to find cases where some Muslims do see it as an outdated rule and choose to have dogs anyway.
Having said all of THAT though... I have since come up with a backstory as to how Layla ended up with Jamila that I think could potentionally provide a compromise for anyone disappointed by this aspect of her portrayal. I dunno if/when I’ll be able to get to it, but as with all narrative ideas I don’t want to spoil any element in advance.
On a lighter note, this is the first time we see Layla in her “default” outfit, with the bright red cartooney skull with cat ears design on it - it was meant to just be a one-off design because I didn’t feel like drawing her t-shirt from her initial artworks, but I ended up liking it. The design is from a fictional band she likes, I guess!
[More Chamomile Comic Trivia]
1 note
·
View note
Text
Had a request to post my recent writing
I felt a little inspired recently so I wrote 4 little stories, each kinda focused on one object, theme or idea. They’re all about 500 words, only one page on Word. I wanted to see what kind of stories I could tell with that limitation since I tend to write very long pieces. I took it as a challenge and I found it to be very helpful. These are not fics, merely recent examples of my writing, and if you are interested please feel free to read them and tell me what you think! Writing my own novels someday is my goal after all.
Play Pretend
His favourite thing to do when he was younger was play pretend. He had an overactive imagination and never had great social skills, so instead of meeting new friends he would make his own. All manners of creatures and fairies, princes and princesses, complete with some distinguishable trait that made them valuable to him. They gave him someone to talk to, to play with, share his ideas with, when no one else was interested.
The only real person he could comfortably talk to was his older sister.
His sister never came out of her room much. He was certain she must enjoy a whole different world in her room, because he’d never been inside and he’d never seen her leave. He only knew what she looked like from the pictures framed in the hallway.
Those pictures had been there since he was born, his parents said. She was pale in the pictures, accented with tired eyes and tight smiles, skin stretched taut over bone. Nothing like how his classmates looked.
His sister wouldn’t let their parents frame any more. He had asked her why. She said she didn’t want anyone to see her.
He never understood that. The only thing he had ever wanted was to see her. But all he could ever do was look at the young girl in the photos and imagine what she looked like now.
He told her all about the friends he created. She was the only one who would listen and even say what she liked about his friends. She really liked the princesses, especially the one that could also transform into a monster.
Monster Princess was a good friend. But his sister was his greatest friend.
She said that made her happy, but that she wished for him to also find other friends. He didn’t understand why, when he had her, Monster Princess, and all the others.
She said because sometimes friends leave, even when they don’t want to.
One day when he came home from school his sister’s door was open. He had imagined how this moment would go for so long but was so sure he would never get the opportunity, so now that it was here he wasn’t sure what to do.
His voice regained function before his body, so he called for her. Her name dissipated into nothingness, as if he had never spoken, and he received no reply.
When he finally gained the courage to peer inside, it was plain and lifeless. No toys, no clothes, no artwork, no photographs. Nothing to represent that a person had ever lived there. Nothing to represent that this room had been someone’s whole world.
He left and pretended he had never entered.
And every day since he would close his sister’s door, speak, and pretend she was listening.
Left Alone
She never asked for it. Never wanted it. Never wanted to be popular. Never wanted to be a superhero.
She just wanted to be left alone.
Instead, what was supposed to be a simple modelling job to pay her rent got her famous. She couldn’t leave her apartment anymore without people recognizing who she was. Now it was sunglasses, large hats, and heavy coats whenever her feet hit the sidewalk. It was a stealth mission simply to visit her favourite bakery down the street. Some days she wished she had never run from home just so things could be simple again.
One day with a burst of crimson light, her life became even more complicated.
She was turned into a superhero against her will, with mutant powers forced upon her. She ignored her abilities out of spite. Why should she work for someone who would violate her like that?
But then she met the others. They’d been given powers against their will too, but they mastered them and used them to protect their city. A part of her hated them. But they loved her and welcomed her, so she stuck with them because they were the only ones who didn’t treat her like she was different. To them, she wasn’t a famous supermodel. She wasn’t a freak with unnatural powers.
She was just a person.
So she saved the city with them, over and over again. They tried to get closer to her just as hard as she tried to keep them at a distance. The more she tried to be alone the more they seemed to be there. And though she would never tell them, she slowly became used to their presence in her life. They made her new powers become a bearable weight.
But they still weren’t something she asked for. She’d been offered a job across the country and should be able to further her career and her life without being confined to this place or responsible for its well-being. She didn’t choose to be a superhero, but she could choose to stop being one.
Her friends begged her not to leave, saying they couldn’t stop this latest threat without her. She told them she didn’t choose to have friends, either.
She left in the middle of the night, the rain pelting down on her car in waves as she took the highway out of the city. No other cars were out at this time. She was alone.
Just like she always wanted.
An explosion rang from the city and she watched the fiery cloud in horror through her rear-view mirror. She slammed on the brakes and rolled her window down just a crack. With her enhanced hearing, she could hear frenzied screams even over the storm.
She could pretend nothing happened and keep going. She could be alone. For once it was her choice.
With a screech of tires she swerved her car around, because the only people who made her feel less alone needed her.
Grey
She was born into a world of grey. No mages held knowledge of any spells to remedy colour blindness, and since there was nothing she could do she didn’t let it bother her. She wished she could see in colour, wished she could see the green leaves and the blue waves and the orange sunsets that her parents often described to her, but had accepted the different shades of grey all those things would forever be.
This didn’t stop her from helping her mother with the cooking. This didn’t stop her from helping her father in the fields. This didn’t stop her from doing both once her parents joined the Goddess.
She lived a comfortable life on her own. Sometimes the village children came to visit her on the farm and she would give them fresh produce, and in return they would describe the colours of each vegetable and compare them to other foods of the same colour.
Seeing colour through their eyes was enough for her.
But one day she heard a rumour of someone who might be able to help her. Many rumours honestly, and who knew which ones to believe. Some spoke of a water nymph curing diseases. Some of a spirit with eyes so bright a blind man could see them. Some of a woman blessed with such incredible magic that she must have been sent from the Goddess herself.
If someone like that existed... could they help her see colour?
She lived her whole life on this farm and no longer had anything to lose from leaving, so she packed a bag full of essentials and departed at next sunrise.
The forests were difficult to traverse as everything looked the same. She’d never been away from home before and didn’t realize how tricky it would be to navigate without colour. The Goddess blessed her in the form of a kind man with a travelling cart that allowed her to ride free of charge. She explained her condition and her goal, and while promising to get her closer to her destination, he told her stories overflowing with colour.
She wanted to see those colours for herself more than ever.
They were destined to part at an inn once clear of the forest and he bid her farewell and safe travels. When she walked inside she was immediately struck with an electric feeling, all her nerves alert. Not in the sense that something was wrong, not exactly, but as if something in the air wasn’t natural. Wasn’t human.
She asked the attendant for a room and with a smile that was far too knowing, the attendant gave her a key to the basement room at the end of the hall.
The further she descended the thicker that electric feeling in the air became. It danced over her skin, her nerves singing and tingling, most notably around her eyes, as if trying to pull energy from them. She blinked rapidly and unlocked her room, pretending to ignore the lightning that shot through her arm when she gripped the handle.
On the other side of the door, she saw a girl lounging on her bed with eyes that weren’t grey.
Pictures Don’t Change
I’ve loved taking pictures since I was little and my mom bought me a toy camera. I loved how they could capture emotions, capture youth; provide memories after they had faded from the mind.
I loved how they could capture little moments in time. How, for each photo, nothing mattered but what you could see in that moment. How, once a picture was taken, what was within could never change.
I made a career out of it. Photographing people—capturing their emotions, eternalizing their feelings—was my favourite form of art.
I hit it off with my most recent photography model, a woman who carried a sense of loss in her eyes that only appeared on camera. Otherwise, she hid her emotions with a strong smile.
She led me by the hand into her room and rather than anticipating the upcoming events, my focus landed on a beautiful framed photo of her and a young man on her bedside table.
She noticed I was distracted and released my hand, but she didn’t seem bothered. “That was Trevor.”
I glanced her way. “Was?”
Her sad smile finally matched the loss I had seen in her eyes before. “He was a childhood friend of mine. We would have dated. He asked me out but I told him I needed some time.” She released a deep breath, as if trying to purge the guilt from her body. “He died that night.”
I didn’t know what to say. Neither did she.
Eventually she broke the silence. “Do you mind if I shower first?” She chewed at her lip anxiously.
I respected that she suddenly needed time to compose herself. “Not at all. Take your time.”
“Thank you. Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”
Only once I heard the water running did I stand and curiously examine her room. Pastel walls, curtains and blankets, filled to the brim with knickknacks, clothes and accessories. Numerous photos clung to the walls and collected dust on shelves, but the cleanest and easily the most eye-catching was the vibrant photo of her and Trevor.
I carefully picked it up to observe it closer. They were at the beach with their arms around each other, the orange of the sunset illuminating their skin and hair and darkening their shadows, and while she was looking at the camera, Trevor was looking at her. There was so much love in his eyes and it was clear that his love for her had been there for a long time.
That love, that moment, forever existed in this photo, and nowhere else.
“You’ll never get to kiss her because you’re in a picture, and pictures don’t change. But don’t worry,” I reassured Trevor, “at least you’ll always be in love with her, because you’re in a picture, and pictures don’t change.”
#writing#my work#i live in canada so don't @ me at how I use the word colour#these are all just quick little things#thanks for reading!#that last one was inspired by a quote I saw in an article while doing homework and it really just stuck with me#I've wanted to write a LiS fic around it to be honest
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Creative Year in Review 2018
stolen from but also requested by inspired by @drstrangewillseeyounow
Preface: This will be a bit of a mashup of two things; art and writing. But I’ll be clear. This is also a long post, I’m very sorry. Apparently I don’t shut up.
Total number of creations? (Or a rough guess!)
Art - Finished; 221 (not all published)
Art - WIPS; 25
Writing - Published; 4
Writing - WIPS; 9 ?
Was there a project that you didn’t get around to?
In terms of starting or finishing? Lol. I didn’t get around to publishing the first chapter of the MU fic, which I desperately still want to before S2 starts. Because I keep writing all the middle bits instead. Nor did I get around to start writing the “winter fic” beyond plot points and a few little scenes.
There’s a looooooooooooooot of art I didn’t get around to either starting properly or finishing. Lol. I have a L’Rell piece I really want to do, as well as [another] mirror Stamets piece I want to do.
What was the creation you had the most fun making?
Art: Oh that’s hard. A lot of things for a lot of different reasons. I enjoyed the Holiday artworks because they were….really out of my depth and fun. Mostly I loved sending them out on cards to friends.
More recently I had a lot of fun doing the Patroclus and Achilles piece. Loved using golden hues.
Also have a lot of fun with Not Safe for Work-Viewing pieces, but those will never be published here. :D Sorry.
Writing: I had a surprising amount of fun writing the Vampire AU fic [Just a Taste] for Halloween. Which I never expected to write anything vampiric, ever, and also it came together really quickly. Building the world in that short fic was a lot of fun.
Any surprises? (E.g. a character or ship you never thought you’d create for or a project that came out of nowhere?)
Well honestly this whole revival to art and writing came as a surprise, I hadn’t done either in many years. I was also never a Star Trek fan prior to Disco, nor have I ever been a part of a fandom before. This is my first! So that was surprising, also surprising was how massively obsessed I became and how important it became to me.
But the best surprise out of all of that is the connections to people I’ve made and the friendships that have come from that. ily. <3
Also not going to lie, pretty surprised that suddenly my art has become mega-fuckin-colourful. Where did this love of neon come from??? Wtf
What was the hardest creation to make?
Writing; MU fic - hands down. I have pages and pages and pages of resources. Not only is it going to be a long story (I endeavour and hope) but also from the amount of which I am pulling from and want to align to canon as as best I can as well. Being a new fan to Trek also... it’s been pretty overwhelming to get these details right. But at the same time, really trying to flesh out a character we never met or saw in the show, and have them interact with the established canon and have that all make sense… That and have the science in it make as much sense as possible, I’ve based a few new things on scientific principles and things that exist and just trying to elevate them to a cosmic scale… and hope I can pull that off too. It’s pretty intimidating. Not going into it, but the way the story weaves and intersects with a few different genres.. I just want to have it make sense in it’s self contained body of work.
Yeah it’s hard. Lol. Biggest thing I’ve ever tried to do. But, I love it, truly. I think about this whole project an inhumane amount of times every day, and I love that.
It’s also hard because I’d love to be a linear writer, but I am not. At all. I’m constantly writing ahead, well and truly ahead, but then coming back, adding to and editing earlier bits and rewriting and rewriting….rewriting… ugh
The subjects and themes are also a little heavy, and it’s cathartic to write about, sure, but also wanting to do those moments justice and with respect and integrity - because that’s important to me too.
The whole thing is just a lot of fuckin work, lol. But I really love it. Already - and it’s nowhere near done.
Art; Probably the one where Paul is laying down [crying] in the spore chamber. It was my first return to trying to paint semi-realism, and... it didn’t work out. I’m not happy with it anymore, but also proud that I pulled it off. That pose? Hair? HAND? UGH those took me too long to get right. But, overall it certainly taught me a lot to use on future more realism-ish pieces such as the Cosmic/Celestial pics of Hugh and Paul [which I love.]
What inspired you the most this year?
Oh, easy. Discovery. Hugh and Paul, hands down both of those things. But also to the endlessly talented people who I’ve come to know and also enjoy the works of - be it written, art, or otherwise. Creativity inspires creativity.
What are you most proud of? (A creation, something you learned, etc)
Art: The Cosmic/Celestial pieces. Very proud of those. (So much so I made metal prints of them and they sit on my bookshelf between a salt lamp.) I really love how they came out, and really the original (Cosmic Paul) was kind of an accident, a happy accident if you will.
Also the piece of Anthony I did for Anthony’s birthday. That was a lot of fun constructing something visually representative of a person.
Any goals/plans/ideas for next year?
Fucking get some headway on my MU fic so I can stop being so annoying by just talking about it, and fucking start publishing it already - for then it then it would EXIST in the word. LOL. Ugh. That’s the only big plan, that’s all I want to do. Whatever art I will do - I will just find inspiration in the moment to do. No plans, other than the L’Rell piece and a couple other WIPs - maybe.
Honestly just that and trying to keep improving, both in writing and in drawing. I feel like I’ve improved over this past year, so would love to just continue on that trajectory.
Pick your favourite creations! (Post links and tell us why you love them!)
The Cosmic and Celestial Series
I just love how these turned out, especially because it was such a surprise how it turned out originally. But being able portray this cosmic divinity of which I uphold them both to be in my mind was really awesome to pull off. The colours, and dramatic light, this whole thing was so fucking fun. The whole painting with colours as highlights / shadows / dual light source was a huge experiment for me and it taught me a huge amount, so I really love it for many reasons.
The Song of Achilles
I started sketching this while I was listening to the audio book and while I fell in love with these two. Please, again, do go read this book. But the detailing on the spear, the auras and Achilles hair were my favourite bits. Oh and the gold blood. Of course, lol. Loved doing the symbolic imagery
Anthony Rapp’s Birthday Portrait
Because this man means a whole lot to me, and it was nice really nice for a change of pace to try and depict him and things that are important to him. Also really proud of that shoe, ngl.
& And MU Stamets and his Mycelium Sun
Huge experiment in terms of colour and lighting for me, and I love love love how it turned out. Even if it’s a little rough. This one was so much fun, and I also printed this out on metal actually lol. Looks pretty cool.
& First MU Culmets Work
Still in my heart, even though it’s a earlier work, because it was the first exploitation of this duo for me, and how they might be together. Also where I came up with the HC for his facial scar, which I always will include in any MU Hugh depiction of mine. But I still really like how their characterisation translates in this one.
Writing
Nomenclature.
The archaeology AU story I wrote for 30MinuteLoop. Also well, this is the only one that’s safe for viewing that’s published, lol, but I am genuinely really proud of this and seeing it through to completion.
But also the MU story is a fave, but this is the only published section so far:
MU Snippet
(These next couple of questions are directly from @drstrangewillseeyounow sorry I’ll be so literal in their structure, lmao)
How you decide on which style to use for individual pieces?
Unless it’s something very specific in mind (like the holiday pieces) I just kind of let it take a life of its own. See what it evolves into. I might have one idea to where I want it to go before I export it to PS, but once in PS it might take a whole new life (prime example if the original Cosmic/Celestial Paul. The original was very flat, and pretty boring lol but really became something else in PS. Actually it was supposed to be originally a visual piece to accompany my Vampire fic - and Vampire Hugh picture. But that changed entirely once I got it into PS.)
(It’s hard to see but there’s a bite mark on the original side.)
I'd also know more about your literal process, as in: what's your hardware set-up, what software do you use?
I have a weird all over the place set up. Lol.
So I do the majority of the work on my iPad, up until a stage where I don’t think I can go any further with it (or need more than 6 layers at my disposal) and then export it to my PC (either work or home) and then work on it further in Photoshop. Of which it then gains infinite amount of layers, lmao. Oh god.
As for the file on the iPad, when I’m working on that I can only have 6 layers. So usually will do sketch/line-work on one (or two, if I have to work a problematic bit but then merge it with the rest) and same with the colour/painting. That’s always on one layer, which I’ve grown to really like working like that. I might do skin on one, then clothes on another, but eventually will merge them.
If it’s a full paint (or even half paint maybe), the colour and line layer will eventually be merged as I erase the lines I no longer need as I go and blend that layer more seamlessly into the painted layer. It just ending up a purely painted file without the original lines. Another layer may be added for more delicate details such as eyelashes and eyebrows, things like that.
Everything I do once exported to Photoshop is just with a mouse, I have a Wacom tablet… But I don’t use it, because I haven’t been bothered calibrating it with my dual monitor setup, and am happy doing most of the work on the iPad anyway as it kinda acts like a Cintiq in that regard. But localised. (Plus I can take it anywhere with me, interstate, overseas, to work, to the park, etc. I love that mobility.)
Depending if I need a certain element that’s vector based, I’ll make it in Corel Draw or Illustrator, too. I also have Corel painter....buuuuuuuuut still haven’t used it. That’s a goal for 2019 for sure, lmao.
Very occasionally I will physically sketch out the idea (like the holiday pieces) scan, and rework, redraw, line it, or whatever in the iPad then go forth with all of the above processes.
How long does it usually take you from start to finish?
Art: How long a piece takes really varies lol. Sketches can be between 1 - 4 hours on average, sometimes more. Flat colours will be a couple hours more. Half paints usually 4-8 more hours. Full paints and more realism stuff like the Cosmic/Celestial is total of 18hours+ but those times are just a rough idea, sometimes something just works out a lot quicker. Sometimes longer.
Writing: FOR FUYCKING EVER. I’m the slowest writer ever.
Do you have art WIPs and what do you think keeps you from finishing them?
I have a lot of art WIPs lol I think just losing drive or inspiration to finish them is what mainly kills them, or me getting frustrated that it isn’t working out like I wanted. Sometimes I just forget they exist.
Probably same goes for writing, too. Lol. Also it could be that I’ll dream up the entire (or mostly) of the story, but then getting it onto the page is hard. I want to work at getting better at that.
Do you do any non-fanart, too?
Sure. Although not often anymore, I’m honestly just inhumanly obsessed with Hugh and Paul.. Even when I start a project that isn’t centric to either or both of them… Often it will kind of morph into them. oops.
I want to say yes to fic too...but That’s a project I haven’t worked on in fucking years and years, so I doubt that really counts anymore.
//end
Wow I am so sorry that was me just rambling on. Anyway, cool. Hi to anyone who made it this far.
I’ll also parrot the line of: Everyone who created/posted art, fic, gif-sets, vids, cosplay, etc., consider yourself tagged if you’d like to be. I’m curious! (I’m fucking serious, P L E A S E D O.)
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
fatal attraction│01 (m.)
→ pairing: reader x jungkook (feat. taehyung)
→ genre: serial killer au, angst
→ word count: 14k
Your dangerous ex-boyfriend comes back to haunt you in more ways than one.
→ warnings: mentions of smut, drug and alcohol abuse, violence, light gore, death and murder. This will be a series with a lot of twists and turns… I’ve been working on this for a while and I’m excited to finally post so I hope you all like it.
↳ series m.list | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | on going
You were at Hoseok’s palace of a home. You were at Hoseok’s palace of a home every Saturday night. Every weekend his parents flew off to the Caribbean, leaving an empty house for him to have all of you over. Apparently dealing with their unemployed 24 year old son proved too stressful. You, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and a hundred odd people occupied the Jung mansion in his parent’s absence. These parties were notorious from what you heard. Only a handful of times you had experienced them first hand, despite being in the same place every weekend. Instead, you’d lock yourselves upstairs and let the party goers enjoy the raging vibes below.
Surprisingly, Hoseok never minded these strangers soiling his million dollar home. Whenever someone would break a vase or knock over an expensive artwork his reaction was far from frightening. His eyes would widen and he’d mutter an ‘oh shit’ before erupting into laughter. He was so carefree and that’s what you loved most about him - despite the trait most likely stemmed from growing up so privileged.
Hoseok was heir to an empire. You all were and you were lucky you all clicked so well when your parent forced you all to form a little group. Sure you fought every now and then, but there were two things that always kept the dynamic in check, two things you would always have in common. One, none of you wanted to take over your families’ businesses and two, all of you loved to drink.
You were sitting at the dining table scattered with all types of contraband and playing cards. You had the worst poker face, so your goodies were at the other end of the table with Taehyung. You sent him a death glare as he snorted a line of your cocaine before puckering his lips at you.
“Asshole!”
“Hey! It’s not my fault you’re shit,” he retorted.
“Fuck you!”
You chucked your cards at him and he cackled when they landed nowhere near him.
“Let’s just play something else,” Jimin suggested, hoping to simmer down the situation before you exploded.
“No!” Taehyung argued, “Just because princess pathetic can’t handle losing her stimulants doesn’t mean everyone’s fun has to be ruined.”
Taehyung was known for joking around, especially with you. For some reason beyond your knowledge, you were his favourite to tease. It was a thrill for him to get a rise out of you, you could see it in his eyes. Every time, his chocolate orbs would ignite with satisfaction at your reaction. It was like he got off from it, his dark stare taking a snapshot of your face to save for later. Although he irked you endlessly, you didn’t entirely mind. He ensured there was never a dull day. He ensured embarrassing moments never went unnoticed and were stored away for future laughs. He was your friend and you knew he loved you, despite the harassment. But that comment did hurt.
“Hey!” Yoongi snapped.
Taehyung eyes widened and he hung his head. Whenever Yoongi spoke up, you all knew, as well as Taehyung, that he had gone too far. Now at an awkward standstill as to what to play next, Hoseok got up to go downstairs. He’d make an appearance every hour, more so to please his guests as opposed to checking if his home was still intact. After two years of witnessing these parties you had come to the conclusion that Hoseok used them to punish his parents for neglecting him. They weren’t for his pleasure and they weren’t for his boys or yours. The parties were only a background noise. It was a weird dynamic when you actually thought about it but it worked. The guests knew never to come upstairs and as long as they obeyed that rule, they could drink and party to their hearts’ content. However, Hoseok wasn’t completely reckless, if anyone broke his very few, lax rules they were banned for good. His status alone kept trespassing nonexistent. It was organised chaos.
“I’m off to do the rounds! If you haven’t come up with a game by the time I come back, we’re all joining the party,” Hoseok threatened and earned a groan from all the boys as he left.
“Ok fine! Since princess-” Taehyung began with a snarky tone.
“Careful,” Yoongi warned.
He sighed before adjusting his tone to something close to endearing.
“Since princess has lost her assets, how about we bet on clothes?”
“If you give me my coke back I’ll strip for you right now,” you deadpanned, fed up with his extra sass.
“Really?!” He exclaimed, his face lighting up with shock, which you hated because he looked so damn cute.
“Just have mine ____,” Jimin offered kindly, trying to save your dignity.
“No offence baby but my coke is better,” you sassed, drunk and coming down from the weak drugs.
Jimin dropped his cards in defeat. He was always such an angel to you, you knew you’d feel bad tomorrow but right now your stubborn self just didn’t care.
“____ just text Jin and get more,” Yoongi suggested clearly trying to protect your dignity as well.
“I can’t,” you replied in a small voice.
“Why?” Taehyung challenged with a smirk.
“Because if I ask him for drugs again he’s gonna tell mum and dad,” you admitted unable to make eye contact with anyone.
Sure your brother was a part time drug dealer, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t still your brother. He was overprotective and controlling and he hated you hanging out with the boys. If it wasn’t for the fact your friendships benefited the family business, he would have narked on you all years ago.
Taehyung’s cackle filled the room. “Are you serious?!”
“Why are you being extra dickish today?”
Taehyung shrugged his shoulders before pushing his chair back and dangling your little white bag spitefully. In blind determination you marched over to him, peeling the tight shirt off your back. Jimin and Yoongi yelled in half-hearted disgust and turned away while Taehyung hollered.
“C'mon guys don’t pretend you haven’t wanted see this for years!”
You ignored his comment, knowing if you acknowledged it your face might have turned beet red. You attempted to snatch your drugs dangling between his fingers but he palmed the bag.
“Jeans as well, baby.”
You rolled your eyes and began to unzip. You should have felt disgusted and repelled by his sleazy behaviour but you couldn’t. As you looked down into his eyes that were filled with curiosity and anticipation, you could only see your little Tae. Taehyung who never failed to make you smile by the sight of his face alone, his constant expression of absence and his big bambi eyes. The urge to pinch his cheeks was a daily struggle and that image was impossible to tarnish. And in a weird way, it made you feel ok with what was going on. You trusted Taehyung, you trusted all the boys and you were comfortable. Honestly you were surprised they hadn’t seen you naked already.
“Stop!” Yoongi yelled before you could push your jeans past your ass.
“Why?!” Tae whined in dramatic pain.
“Jin’s on his way.”
“What?!” You screeched in panic.
“Chill! I texted him asking to score and he said he was in the area. Put your shirt back on, your high end coke is on its way,” Yoongi explained.
“Thank you.”
You did what you were told and poked your tongue at Taehyung before returning to your seat. He kicked at Yoongi’s chair and mouthed a 'what the fuck man?!’ at him when he thought you weren’t watching.
“We’ve got a good thing going here!” Yoongi bellowed, disregarding Tae’s attempt to be discreet. “I’m not going to let you make it weird and awkward for the only girl that likes us because you’re high and horny!”
Now, girls liked them. Girls liked them a lot. However you were the only one who didn’t beg them for anything remotely romantic. Now don’t get it wrong, it was difficult in the beginning. The four of them screamed anime fantasy, with their impeccable fashion sense and coloured hair. Their demeanours radiated sex appeal without effort, disinterested and completely unaware of how alluring it was. They were just too cool it hurt. It took a good couple of months of getting used to and resisting that urge to throw yourself at any of them was probably the best thing you had ever done. It was strange to think your feelings for them weren’t always platonic.
And even more strange to think it was Taehyung that caught your eye first.
*
He was slouched against the wall at the bottom of Hoseok’s grand staircase. His hair was red at the time and he was sporting leather trousers and a white bomber. Drunken strangers flooded the distance between you two and obscured your view occasionally but it was still impossible not to spot him. He looked and was, fucked and he completely owned it. His mouth was in a permanent smirk, his tongue making an appearance every few seconds. He was looking everywhere and nowhere in particular. It had you yearning for his thoughts. Daze so intense, he hadn’t even noticed you blatantly staring at him for the last half an hour.
Half an hour you had been there, dragged out of bed by your brother because he needed to deal and you couldn’t be left alone. You truly had no interest in attending one of Hoseok’s parties but now, discovering this gorgeous boy had you kicking yourself for not making an appearance sooner. Once you had enough of the torture, in a second of blind courage, you found your legs moving towards him. You didn’t even have anything to say. Honestly, you were shamelessly contemplating just shoving your tongue down his throat because you didn’t have anything to say. But you weren’t the only one with him in your radar. You stopped in your tracks when suddenly this gorgeous blonde popped out of nowhere and latched onto him. You cursed. If only you had made your move sooner. But no, you had spent the whole time just staring like an absolute creep…
But before you could completely bask in regret, he was waving her off.
It was bizarre.
She had the looks of a model, throwing herself at him and grabbing his manhood. He only chuckled and shook his head, letting her make a fool of herself. Just within earshot, you could make out her annoying whines.
“C'mon Tae, take me upstairs and we can fool around abit.”
Tae.
Tae chuckled and covered his face as if she had just said the most absurd thing imaginable. Leaning his head back against the wall, he stared at her through his lashes and once again, shook his head. She stomped like a child, disappointment shrouded her flawless face. In one final attempt to get in this boy’s pants, she leaned into his ear and whispered so seductively it gave you goosebumps.
“I really want to suck your cock baby.”
No reaction whatsoever, instead his smirk returned and his eyes found yours. You must have looked like a deer in headlights, unable to move or play off like you hadn’t been eavesdropping the entire time. His stare was inquisitive, curious and he refused to break it as he finally opened his mouth.
“No,” he growled into the blonde’s ear before winking at you.
Your heart stopped and you ran off in a panic. No no no no, hell no. There was no way you could face him now. On a mission to find your brother, you were praying he was far from the stairwell so you could make a proper escape. Tae’s raspy voice echoed in your brain as you moved through the crowd at an agonisingly slow pace. To your dismay, you didn’t get very far before Jin found you.
“____! I told you not to wander off! Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Jin yelled at you over all the commotion.
You had felt your phone go off but ignored it. You couldn’t risk tearing your eyes from Tae at the time. You were scared he’d get lost in the crowd even if you looked away for a second. But now that you had been discovered, you had to be as far away as possible. You nervously turned back to check the distance you made between yourself and said boy. It wasn’t a lot and he was still watching you, amused and the blonde had disappeared.
“I’m sorry, let’s just go home,” you gushed trying your best to usher him towards the door.
But he stopped.
“Oh! It’s Taehyung,” he said, waving at the boy you had been trying to run away from.
“You know him?!” You squealed.
“Yeah, he’s dad’s potential business partner’s son.”
Your eyes widened. “How do you know this?”
“We’re going to be taking over the family business eventually, ____, pay attention.”
“You’re taking over the family business Jin. So no, I won’t pay attention.”
He shook his head and chuckled.
“I’ll introduce you.”
“NO!”
Before your body could react, Jin was already approaching him. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along like he did when you two were kids. You tugged at his bicep in protest and whispered in his ear in desperation. You felt like you could mentally combust if forced to confront Taehyung now. Jin ignored your pleas, like always. Your heart was racing as Taehyung spotted Jin and stood up straight, recognition in his expression. It was the most alert you’d seen him.
“Oh, Jin!” He greeted.
“Taehyung!”
Then they did this bro handshake you’d never understand.
“Hey, do you have anymore of those pink tabs?” Taehyung asked your brother, eyes wide and hopeful. It was the cutest thing you’d ever seen in your life.
“So that’s how you know him?” You called him out, as if he listened to shit concerning the family business. “I was under the impression you met through our respected law-abiding families?”
Jin shot you menacing eyes. “I did meet him through dad, you brat,” he hissed in your ear.
Taehyung chuckled. “Who is this?” He asked your brother and then turned to you, “And why’d you run away from me?”
“This is my little sister ____,” he introduced you before you had a chance to. “I have to babysit her even though she’s 19 years old because she can’t stay out of trouble. And why did you run away from him ____?”
You stuttered. The fucking nerve of him. You wanted to murder him. Taehyung’s laughter filled the air and you felt your face burning up. You twisted around to punch Jin in the gut but he predicted it and blocked it. The urge to scream in his face was so strong but Taehyung’s intense gaze forced you to behave.
"You’re not doing a very good job keeping her away from it.”
The three of you turned to the voice walking down the stairs. Your jaw dropped. The boy was just as ethereal as Taehyung. He had similar style, however a leather jacket hung off his shoulders instead of the white bomber that swallowed Taehyung. He caught your eye and smiled brightly, his eyes crescent moons. If you hadn’t died already, you died then.
“You’re no better,” Taehyung pointed at the other boy, eyes wide and accusing.
“What? I’m an angel,” the boy sung, running his fingers through his silvery white hair.
The other boys cringed and Taehyung shoved him as he took the spot next to him against the wall.
“I’m Jimin.”
“Hi,” you squeaked.
Jin looked at you, looked at his friends and then looked at the way you were looking at his friends. He could always sense the trouble before you ever could. It was the glint in your eye, the undeniable tension that radiated off of you whenever you were drawn to something, drawn to… trouble, essentially. And somehow it was Jin’s job to prevent it, to intervene before you delved face first.
“Ok I’m going to take my baby sister home now,” he declared, emphasising 'baby’.
“No, stay!” Jimin protested sweetly.
“Yoongi hates it when you leave so soon,” Taehyung added.
You had heard that name before, Jin was always mentioning him when he was not already with him. Although your brother never used the phrase best friend, you knew that was what Yoongi was. You had been dying to meet him. And you’d be lying if you said the two boys you had just met didn’t have anything to do with your change of mind.
“Let’s stay-” You began.
“Next time boys,” Jin interrupted, pulling your arm.
“Wait!” Taehyung hollered and closed the distance Jin attempted to make. “I wanna see you again.”
The smirk on him radiated utter confidence and bravado. You hadn’t made the best first impression, with the help of Jin, so you were quite surprised. Nevertheless, you bit your lip and pulled your phone out of your pocket. But it was quickly intervened.
"No,” your brother deadpanned.
The boys with coloured hair laughed.
“C'mon dude, we’re not that bad,” Jimin defended the both of them.
“Maybe you,” Jin said pointing at Jimin. “But not him.”
Taehyung gasped dramatically.
“Ok, how about I get her number then,” Jimin mediated.
Jin rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. He turned around as if saying to quickly do it while he wasn’t looking. You grabbed Jimin’s phone, typing your number and saving it. Taehyung’s eyes grew at the sight of Jimin’s phone, now with your number in it, as you handed it back. He was about to lunge for it but you grabbed his phone before he could and dialed your number quickly.
Jin turned around as your phone rang.
“Um no!”
“I’ll see you around,” You said with a wink, dragging your brother away.
*
Jimin and Taehyung told you a year later what they thought of you in that very moment. It started with, “you were sexy as hell” and ended with “but then you became one of us”. You had pondered that conversation and first interaction over and over, trying your best to analyse how they saw what they had explained. First of all, you looked a mess that night so for them to find you attractive enough to want to see you again, had you baffled. Jin gave you no time to change, so you were still in your satin nightgown and ended up chucking on boots that were laying at the front door. Your hair probably looked like a nest and all you did was stand there being patronised by your brother.
For a while you theorised it was because Taehyung thought anything in little dress was sexy as hell. He loved women with an alternative look and he was all about the chase so it was easy to assume. Jimin spoiled that theory eventually, with a raised eyebrow and an accusation that you weren’t giving yourself enough credit for how beautiful you were. And soon, to your embarrassment, whether it was a compliment or expressed as a burden, none of the boys would let you forget how beautiful you were.
*
As you walked back to the car with your brother that night, you had to bite your lip to keep from smiling. From the beginning, you could feel that you were on the same wavelength and that both parties had voids they knew the other could fill. It was in the way Jimin smiled at you. It was in the way Taehyung looked at you differently to the way he looked at that blonde girl. There was a connection you hadn’t felt since your ex-boyfriend and you had missed the excitement that coincided. The promise of new relationships - friendly and romantic alike.
However, Jin was quick catch on, being the protective brother was.
“You are never to go to one of those parties ever again,” he ordered before speeding down the driveway.
Like Jin could ever control you.
You found yourself being drawn to them. Every Saturday, without fail, you would sneak out your bedroom window to meet Taehyung waiting further down your street with the motor running. Before you’d end up at Hoseok’s, he’d drive you to a make out spot that overlooked a view of the lit up city at night. It was breathtakingly gorgeous despite the muffled moans from neighbouring cars. The first time he took you there you could tell a hook up was on his brain and sweaty palms aside, you were more than obliging. But instead, you got talking and that’s all you ended up doing. You told each other things you had never told anyone. You laughed until you cried. There was more than just attraction and that was the last time you ever got the sense he was coming on to you. And after that, surprisingly, the awe of him wore off. As you spent more weekends with him, he became less of an angelic being and more of a boy your age. The dazzle and charm of him developed into pure platonic fondness. As it did with Jimin. And then Hoseok and Yoongi when you met them.
*
You liked them for them and not for their looks, and Yoongi cherished that greatly. As corny as it sounded, it made you feel secure and warm and wanted. Just knowing for a fact, Yoongi wouldn’t let anything jeopardise your place in the group did wonders for your emotional stability.
“You could never scare me away,” you reassured him, in the cutest voice you could muster.
“Stop.”
You giggled at his reaction, as much as he pretended it disgusted him you knew he loved it. It was the glimmer of admiration in his face before he would twist it into a grimace. Jimin’s giggle filled the air and it was contagious.
“Don’t pretend you don’t love it,” Jimin teased.
Yoongi shoved his chair back and shot out of his seat, ignoring Jimin’s comment.
“Fuck it.”
“Where are you going?!” Taehyung questioned, containing his laughter.
You all watched Yoongi’s back as he stormed up to the locked door.
“What else are we gonna do huh?! It took you idiots hours to decide on this game.”
It was not hours, drama queen.
The other boys grumbled. They hated joining the party. As obnoxious as it sounded, it was because they were sick and tired of being continuously hit on. Every time they took a step out that door, girls would squeal and then a brave one would come up and try her luck. Now, any guy would be in heaven but these boys were different. Jimin was shy and even though the attention was flattering, he didn’t want it and never knew how turn it down. Taehyung loved the attention, but he also loved the chase, nothing screamed boring more than a girl that was easy. Yoongi was too into his music, he couldn’t care for anything else. And Hoseok, was Hoseok. He was too all over the place for a girl to try to tie him down, even if only for a hook up.
To the boys discomfort and displeasure, you loved to see it all unfold.
“Let’s do it!” You cheered, joining Yoongi.
They moaned again, Jimin throwing his head back to be extra dramatic before dragging himself out of his seat.
“Only if me and ____ play boyfriend girlfriend!” Taehyung declared sickeningly cute before Jimin had a chance to.
“What are we? 10 years old?” You snapped.
Jimin narrowed his eyes before shoving his fist out. He played paper. Taehyung played scissors. Jimin declared defeat, kicking his chair in frustration.Taehyung shook his fists in victory before approaching you with open arms.
“I didn’t agree to this, you brat!” You protested, fending his arms away. “I was Jimin’s girlfriend last time, now people are going to think I’m fucking you all!”
Taehyung immediately morphed into your little Tae. Doe eyes and all. “But I won paper, scissors, rock,” he mumbled sadly.
You groaned, unable to deny him. And honestly, why should you care what those drunk people downstairs thought of you.
“Fine.”
He joined your foreheads together, half headbutting you in his excitement. “Thank you ____,” he said before squishing your cheek against his own and squeezing the life out of you. You acted a dead weight until he was done.
“Ready?” Yoongi asked, hand on the doorknob.
You nodded, the other two meekly doing the same. It was a thrill actually attending these parties. It was never the same music or people and never the same dramas. As evil as it sounded, you were excited to see the dilemmas the boys would inevitably find themselves in this time. First stop, the kitchen, because you needed popcorn.
*
On cue, a few girls squealed and muttered to each other very loudly as you all descended. Taehyung had his arm draped around your shoulders in the most nonchalant way possible. You barely recognised it there before he’d occasionally yank on your neck to whisper in your ear. The looks you were given, you could only imagine criminals being looked at the same. It was beyond pathetic and absolutely hilarious. You could see the jealousy and frustration behind their eyes; that expression of realisation that they couldn’t have everything despite their parents enforcing they could. And being the bitch you were, you smiled at them and batted your lashes before shoving a hand down Taehyung’s back pocket. The gasps echoed through the room, it was iconic.
Jimin stuck himself strategically between yourself and Yoongi, who was leading the way. Before you all could make it even halfway into the living room, Jimin had ignored and ran away from his name whined thrice. The fourth time was gradually closer and he flinched like the soft baby he was, before picking up his speed. You didn’t mean to laugh at him but you did. He just looked so cute and small and scared, sticking to Yoongi like glue. His eyes almost popped out its sockets as this tall brunette came strutting up them, flipping her hair and winking. Now you felt bad, knowing Jimin would be petrified to tell this girl he wasn’t interested. To his relief, Yoongi had it sussed. With a flick of a wrist, he shooed her away, denying her the time of day. Jimin mumbled an apology at the girl’s baffled expression, before scurrying back to his friend’s side.
“Jiminie you’re so cute when you’re scared,” you teased him as you all finally made it to the kitchen.
He gave you a fake smile before flipping you off accordingly.
“Even his middle finger is cute,” Taehyung cooed, leaping over to him and grabbing his hand. “Look at his little hands!”
Seeing red, Jimin grabbed a loaf of bread, probably left on the counter by a drunken party goer trying to sober up and hurled it at Taehyung as he ran away.
“Ah!” Taehyung bellowed. “Violence is never the answer,” he joked, laughing like a madman.
The cocaine was definitely kicking in.
Just before Jimin could fire back, Yoongi was ordering for someone to text Hoseok. You volunteered, pulling out your phone as Taehyung draped an arm around your shoulder again and tried to feed you bread. You were beginning to regret agreeing to come downstairs with faded Tae. Drugs and crowds didn’t mesh well with him. He’d either be swinging from the chandelier or passed out in a closet and you were not in the mood for that sort of babysitting. You needed Hoseok, he always knew what to do these situations. They were his parties after all. You texted him your whereabouts. The kitchen was the most quiet room in the house on a saturday so it was always the meet up spot.
“I texted him,” you told Yoongi.
Yoongi nodded, too busy frowning at his lit up screen to answer. “Jin’s here.”
“That’s my cue!” You declared, ducking out of Taehyung’s embrace.
“Where are you going?” Taehyung asked in a panic.
“Where my brother isn’t. Can’t exactly let him think the coke is for me now can we?”
“But it is for you?” Taehyung questioned, scratching his head in confusion.
You sighed, patting his cheek pitifully.
“I’ll text you when he’s gone,” Yoongi said and you peered around Taehyung to nod at him.
You were praying that Jin either hadn’t entered the house yet or wandered off into the crowds. In order for you to sneak back upstairs, you had to actually get to the stairs and they were exactly opposite the front door. You were extremely cautious on your journey so far, zipping and weaving with your head down. Salvation was in sight. But just your luck, a voice hollered - your brother’s voice. You froze, contemplating just pretending you didn’t hear him but you knew that would be even more suspicious. You took a deep breath and turned around.
Jin hadn’t seen you. He wasn’t calling you. The person he was talking to hid from your view with the help of a few people at least a foot taller than you. Whoever it was had Jin’s full attention so it wasn’t a deal and it had you beyond curious. Jin didn’t have a lot of friends and the few he did have did not match the silhouette of the boy he was now talking to. You craned your neck for a better look, dying to know who it was.
Then Jin spotted you. Then said person turned around.
Your blood ran cold when your eyes locked. Time slowed down. Your heart was pounding in your chest, it felt strong but delayed. Your vision went blurry, everyone around you moved in slow motion. You didn’t even notice Jin shaking you and yelling, because your complete capacity to comprehend was fixated on him. What the fuck was he doing here? He smirked at you like he could read your mind. He emitted villainy with his long coat and black hair, looking like he was here to collect your soul. It was frightening, he was frightening. The aura that ran in his bloodline.
“What are you doing down here?” Jin had been questioning for the last ten seconds, although your ears only just begun to clarify his words.
“What is he doing here?” You croaked in panic and betrayal. “Why are you talking to him?!”
“Jin!” Hoseok bellowed with a chuckle, walking into an absolute shit storm without even realising. “I didn’t know you were making an appearance tonight!”
God, you loved Hoseok. His constant radiance and cheer never failed to make you happy… until now. And it made you want to cry to think even your precious Hobi couldn’t make this all ok.
“Why is she down here?” Jin interrogated him. “And why is she alone?!”
Hoseok was taken aback and let out a nervous chuckle. “Ah, sorry. She was with the others when I left.”
Then Hoseok spotted him and with a smile, went to greet him.
“Hello!” He greeted cheerfully before shaking his hand, “I’m Hoseok, please make yourself at home!”
You were cringing. He didn’t deserve your Hobi’s hospitality.
“Yeah, I know,” his deep voice replied. “I’ve been here before.”
“Oh!” Hoseok’s exclaimed, still serving his warm welcoming. “I’m sorry this is the first time we’ve met. I didn’t catch your name?”
“Namjoon.”
Hoseok just grinned like the ray of sunshine he was, completely unaware of who exactly was standing in front of him. And that was your fault. You hadn’t told the boys about Namjoon and a certain someone he was related to. Instead you just prayed this day would never come, that you would never have to be in his presence and face your past again. You should have told them. You should have told them. Hoseok was a networker and here he was, attempting to establish a connection and bond with Namjoon without knowing who he really was. Without knowing who his family was and who his family was to you. You had to save him.
“Go upstairs,” Jin ordered you one final time.
You were about to protest. There was no way you could leave without Hoseok, without telling him what was going on before it came from someone else’s mouth.
“I’d rather she didn’t,” Namjoon interrupted. “We need to catch up! It’s been awhile.”
“I have nothing to say to you!” You spat, nowhere near as confidently as you would have liked.
The chuckle that escaped his lips was dark and taunting. “Not even a ‘how are you? How is your family after I ran their reputation into the ground?!’”
You flinched away from him, shaking your head as if he was a hallucination and you could will him away.
“That wasn’t ____, that was your brother,” Jin defended you, stepping in front of him to shield you.
“Step aside,” Namjoon threatened so calmly it was scary.
“No.”
“I just need to talk to her.”
“No.”
Namjoon smirked. “Still fighting her battles huh?”
“Until the day I die.”
The tension was undeniable. You wanted to disappear as strangers quietened to watch the drama unfold. You must have looked as distressed as you felt because soon Hoseok was in front of you, your cheeks in his palms. He did this to prevent your panic attacks, sensing them before you could hit the ground, wailing.
“They’re all staring Hobi please.”
With a nod, he announced the party was over. Groans emitted everywhere, however everyone was quick to disperse. Within a few minutes the music was off and the foyer was empty.
“What’s going on-”
Taehyung, Jimin and Yoongi waltzed in, confusion plastered on their faces.
“Nothing! I’ll meet you guys upstairs.”
You forced a smile and it only made the three of them more uneasy. They each took a step forward, planting themselves within the situation. They were there to stay. You were dreading what they would think of you after this was over. You couldn’t bear it. This wasn’t happening.
Taehyung seemed to have sobered up, all staunch with a look of concern. “What’s going on?” He repeated.
“Nothing!” Namjoon chuckled. “I’m just checking up on my lil bro’s girl, that’s all.”
“What?” Jimin uttered, eyes bulging at you.
“She’s not his girl anymore,” Jin corrected, looking over his shoulder at your friends.
“She didn’t tell him that,” Namjoon argued. “Actually, she didn’t tell him anything at all because she’s the reason he’s where he is now and she probably still hates herself for it. What kind of person does that to the love of their life?”
“Wait, who?” Yoongi questioned, as far the boys knew you had never had a boyfriend.
The rage was building inside of you, your panic attack long forgotten.
“Ah! Of course you didn’t tell him. Little ____, always running away from her problems,” he continued to patronise and insult you. “Always running away from the consequences.”
That was it. You were charging, shoving Jin and Hoseok out of the way.
“You don’t know shit about me!” You yelled at him.
“Yeah not anymore,” he scoffed, looking down at you with discontempt, “but I did once. Who are you now?”
“This is me,” you huffed, “when I’m not in love with him.”
“Ah,” he sighed while scratching the back of his head nervously. “He’s not going to like that.”
“So that’s why you’re here? To relay him closure?” You sassed, unable to stop yourself. “You can tell that fucker that we were over from the moment he-”
“You can tell him yourself,” Namjoon interrupted with a sly smile.
“Now why would I go see him?” You bellowed, incredulously. “I never want to see his face again!”
Namjoon narrowed his eyes at your crazed ones.
“Ok, I guess I’ll have to tell him then. He’s not going to be very forgiving hearing it from me.”
You grimaced, completely unimpressed. “Do I look like I give a shit?”
“No,’ he deadpanned, “and you’re gonna regret it.”
“I doubt it.”
“I’m not buying it,” he taunted.
“How?!”
“A love, like what you two had, doesn’t just go away,” he stated, “no matter how much of a bitch you’ve become or pretend to be.”
As soon as the word bitch came out of Namjoon’s mouth, Hoseok stepped in. “Ok time for you to leave, asshole.”
Namjoon cackled. “I’m not the asshole here,” he said, staring you down.
Trying to avoid his gaze, you stole quick glances at the boys. They we all silent, speechless. The looks on their faces were of utter disbelief as the gears began to gradually turn. You weren’t as perfect as they thought you were, as you portray yourself to be. And you could see it, that question in their eyes as they stared at you - who are you? This was not how you wanted them to find out. It made you absolutely livid, even more so now that this image of your former self was being painted by someone else. And that this someone else was playing coy enough for them to fill in the blanks with the worst they could imagine.
Why the fuck did we come downstairs?
“Why are you here, Namjoon?” You asked him one last time, through gritted teeth.
“To remind you ____!” He yelled and his deep voice boomed and echoed through the high ceilings. “You were family once, you know, and you can’t escape family.”
Namjoon spun on his heel and made his leave. You wanted to yell after him and demand what he meant but as he walked further and further away, your heart rate and breathing began to settle. The nightmare was almost over, he was almost gone. Suddenly, to your dismay, he stopped at the front door and you tensed noticeably.
“I’ll see you around. Sleep well,” he said with a wink before slamming the door closed behind him.
You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Taehyung attempt to engage with you, confused as ever. But before he had a chance to bombard you with questions, Jin held an arm against his chest.
“Take her upstairs and don’t let her out of your sight,” Jin ordered Taehyung coldly and then glanced at the rest of them. “Don’t let her come home for a couple of days, just while I sort this out.”
You scoffed, anger still coursing through you. You gave your brother a harsh look to express your disdain at his actions, at his emotionless attempt to protect you while disregarding your feelings and existence. Although his words were somewhat sweet - he couldn’t even give you a hug or check if you were ok? He could be so cold and clueless and inconsiderate sometimes, just like your father. It truly sickened you. You couldn’t face him any longer.
As soon as you ran upstairs, Taehyung stopped Jin for answers.
“Wait-”
“She’ll explain everything and try your best to be understanding when she does.”
“What about you?” Jimin chimed in.
“I’ll be fine,” Jin reassured them. “Just please, keep her safe.”
Jin looked at Yoongi especially and he nodded.
“Of course.”
And with that, Jin chucked his best friend your cocaine and made his leave.
*
You had hopped into Hoseok’s bed. By the time you felt four weights sink into the mattress around you, your anger had subsided into humiliation and dread. It was Jimin that convinced you to poke your head out from under the covers and the view was beautiful. Your four boys surrounded you, faces full of concern and love. Hoseok was lying next to you, Jimin sitting on your other side and Taehyung and Yoongi on the foot of the bed. All of them, ready and waiting for your explanation.
“We just want you to know,” Yoongi began, “no matter how bad it was, what you did, who you fucked - we don’t care. We still love you, ____.”
And as you sat up, you were in tears.
“I don’t even know where to start!”
“How about the beginning?” Hoseok suggested with a warm smile.
He always made things sound so easy. You snivelled, wiping your tears with Jimin’s help.
“It was about four years ago,” you began with a deep breath. “I was young and stupid and I thought I was in love. And you know, that kind of love can be really blinding.”
Having to actually talk about this, talk about him, brought horrible feelings of shame and regret that you thought you’d never have to experience again. And you couldn’t keep the tears from falling.
“Fuck, I really hate seeing her cry,” Taehyung murmured, unable to look at you.
“You don’t have to tell us if it’s too hard ____,” Jimin informed you sweetly.
“No,” you protested, “I can’t keep this a secret from you guys anymore. You deserve to know.”
“Ok, just take it slow,” Yoongi soothed you.
And so you did.
*
You met in high school. He was a bad boy, the bad boy that every guy was afraid of and every girl wanted to be tainted by. He drove this old mustang that roared through the school parking lot, half an hour after classes began and during recess. He smoked cigarettes and never wore colour. Everyone knew him but no one was friends with him, including you. You never took any interest in him or sought him out because embarrassingly, your world revolved around your girlfriends and the next social event. Occasionally, you’d see him at a party. He’d be hiding in the shadows, until he’d find his prey. It was always the most conservative girl, the one who’d look like she didn’t belong there. And then on Monday, she’d walk into class with a scarf around her neck, wincing while she’d lower herself onto her seat. The boys in class would snigger and one would slap him on the back. It made you livid. So many times you’d want to turn around and shout how disgusting he was but you never did, not wanting the inconvenience that would follow a proper interaction.
You were polar opposites and while that repelled you, it intrigued him. He’d always stare at you shamelessly in calculus. He’d always sit behind you and fiddle with your hair with his pencil in history. Despite this unwanted attention from him, it wasn’t too bothersome and frankly you were too scared to do anything substantial about it. He wasn’t charming. He didn’t send you winks or blow you kisses when your eyes met and he didn’t smirk or chuckle when you turned around to slap his pencil out of his hand. He’d only stare, challenging you to confront him properly. Challenging you to strut up to him after school where he always was, leaning against the hood of his car with a cigarette between his fingers and tell him to leave you the fuck alone. And for a good three years, you didn’t. You ignored his existence and never spoke a word to him. He was only an insignificant stereotype in your adolescent life. An irrelevant convention in your coming of age story.
*
“What changed?” Jimin questioned, knowing where the story was going.
You sighed.
“Dad made me heir to half of the business.”
*
You never wanted to inherit anything from your parents. You saw what the politics and money did to their relationships and your family. Reputation was all they cared about and what a better way to ruin that for them but to have a disgrace of a daughter. You thought, surely, if you did something so scandalous you would be written off and deemed an unworthy successor.
But, you were pristine from birth. You gravitated towards people with good grades and clothes and makeup pastel in colour. You really needed to leap out of your comfort zone for your plan to work. So, in a mindset of spite and determination, you strutted up to the boy leaning against the hood of his car with a cigarette between his fingers.
His eyes widened when you stopped in front of him. He was dressed in his signature skin tight ripped jeans with a black tee tucked in. The contrast between you two was immense and you couldn’t help thinking how it looked to the other students roaming around.
"Are you lost?” He asked you through a chuckle.
“No,” you snapped, readjusting the three textbooks in your arms.
He raised an eyebrow before walking around his car to slam down the hood. His car was known for breaking down and it wasn’t surprising considering the way he drove it. However it did wonders for his game, the girls at your school swooned for a grease monkey and admittedly, he pulled the look off tenfold. He tapped the hood twice for his brother to pump the gas.
“You wanna go out sometime?” You yelled at him over his loud engine.
“What?” He yelled back.
You rolled your eyes. “I said, do you wanna go out sometime?!”
He shook his head and pointed to his ear, insinuating he still couldn’t hear you. At this point, you were beginning to regret it. It was like the heavens were giving you a chance to escape from this idiotic idea. You almost turned to leave. You wish you did. God, you wish you did.
“DO YOU WANNA GO OUT SOMETIME?”
While fighting your inner turmoil as to whether you should have backed out or not, he had signalled to his brother to cut the engine. Everyone stopped and stared as your proposal seemed to have echoed through the parking lot. He chuckled, half rubbing his eye, half covering his face in second hand embarrassment. It was the first time you had ever seen him smile. His teeth, perfectly white and straight, were on full display. He looked like a little bunny boy, misplaced in leather with a cigarette. And surprisingly, it was really cute and your heart fluttered a bit.
*
“Hey! We don’t need to hear how much you were throbbing for this guy ok?” Taehyung cried.
Yoongi slapped the back of his head.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Look, if I’m going to tell this story, I’m telling all of it.”
They all nodded, signalling for you to continue.
*
“So she finally came around huh?” His brother chuckled, hopping out of the driver’s seat and slamming the door.
He refused to acknowledge him, staring holes into you. You started shuffling your feet, your nerves getting the better of you, worrying you just embarrassed yourself for nothing.
“You better give her an answer lil bro, she’s getting anxious,” he teased.
“You can go now Joon,” he disregarded him.
“‘Wow, thanks so much for helping me fix my car Namjoon, best brother ever!’” Namjoon jested.
He shot Namjoon a death glare and Namjoon raised his hands in surrender. “Ok, I’ll see you at home. Nice to meet you-”
“____,” you introduced as he jumped into his Range Rover and sped off just like his brother did everyday since you’d known of him.
Must run in the family, you thought.
“So?” You began.
“Why?”
You gulped, eyes doubling in size.
“Because, I want to?” You expressed in the most convincing tone you could muster.
“Are you sure about that?” He questioned again teasingly.
You scoffed, “Well, now, not really!”
He chuckled again at your irritability, something he wouldn’t quit from that moment on.
“Miss pristine wouldn’t just ask someone like me out,” he theorised.
“And why not?” You bit back, getting fed up with his hesitation.
You were not used to actually working for things instead of them being handed to you on a silver platter.
“Because look at you!” He pointed at you with his cigarette. “And I’ve been sussing you for years and you didn’t even have the time of day to tell me to fuck off.”
“What if I didn’t want you to?”
“HA! Bullshit. Go run back to the football field with your little cheerleader friends and Doug the buff doofus yeah?“
“Ugh please!” You whined, “Just go out with me ok?”
“She’s begging me now.”
“If you wanna put it that way, fine! Yes I am.”
“But why?” He probed once more.
This guy was not an idiot, to your dismay. It was easy to be convinced otherwise because he was hardly in class and when he was, his attention with fixated on you three quarters of the time. This was supposed to be easy. First, you had no attachment to him whatsoever and you weren’t attracted to him or his look. And second, he had been obsessing over you for the last three years, he should have jumped at the opportunity. But instead he was intuitive, perceptive, so you decided to be honest.
“Look, I just want to piss off my parents.”
He grinned.
“Ok,” he said before flicking his cigarette and walking to the driver’s door.
“Ok? Ok what?” You questioned, unable to play cool or bad or anything to attract this boy.
“I’ll pick you up at 8,“ he bellowed at you as he hopped into his car.
“Oh! Like in your car?” You asked, bending down to speak to him through his passenger side window.
“Well what else, my scooter?“ He chuckled.
“You have a scooter?!” You asked.
“Do I look like I own a scooter?“
You ignored that comment with a frown and he chuckled again. He turned his car on and attacked his gearshift.
"Wait! You don’t know my address? And where are we going?”
“Yes I do princess, and just wear that little white skirt you always wear on Wednesdays,” he smirked and then sped off.
*
“So this guy is basically a more stalkerish Taehyung?” Yoongi interrupted.
“Hey! So she has a type, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Taehyung defended himself.
“No that’s not the point-” you began.
“____, falling for the bad guy isn’t something to be ashamed of,” Hoseok added with a smile, “don’t beat yourself up.”
“Guys would you let her finish? She’s obviously telling us this for reason.”
You gave Jimin a look of gratitude.
“Exactly, you guys need to hear the normalcy to understand how it ended up the way it did,” you explained, “you need to understand he was just a guy, like all of you. Because otherwise you won’t by the time I’m finished.”
That shut them up, but you knew it was only temporarily.
*
You wished you took a picture of your parents’ faces when he pulled into your driveway. Instead of coming inside like a gentleman, he slammed on his horn. Nice touch, you thought as you ran downstairs while your parents’ bombarded you with questions. He honked the horn again and wolf whistled at you when you emerged from out the front door. Once he saw your parents in tow, he flicked his headlights off. Through the windscreen he looked like a parents’ nightmare with his leather jacket, cigarette and gaze that screamed trouble. And to top it all off, he smacked your ass when you ran past the driver’s side window.
“____ ______! I’m giving you three seconds to get your ass back inside,” your dad growled.
You ignored him, hopping into the passenger’s side.
“Sorry pops, her ass is mine tonight,” he yelled back through his window.
You could just make out your mum threatening to call the police as he sped out your driveway. You hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time.
“That was amazing!” You shrieked in delight, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I’ve never felt so… alive.”
He chuckled before slamming his foot down on the gas, going at least 80 kilometres per hour. You squealed.
“You better get used to it princess, we’re just getting started.”
Every friday for a month he took you to his brother’s parties, got you drunk and dropped you home at four in the morning. And then did the same the next night. Namjoon’s parties on a Saturday night were always more packed than on a Friday.
You never knew anyone there apart from him, so you were shameless. He found you quite entertaining. Instead of lurking around in silence like you’d witnessed him do at every party, he was engaging. He never left your side, fending away guys and laughing at your lame jokes and ramblings. He was so different to what you had expected. He was nice and somewhat chivalrous. To your surprise, you had spent midnight with him eight times and it came and went without him making a single move.
“You’re not how I’d thought you would be,” you admitted on the fourth weekend, once he dragged you outside so he could have a cigarette.
He raised an eyebrow at you and ashed. “How so?”
“You haven’t tried anything,” you gushed blatantly. “Am I not conservative or innocent enough for you?”
He threw his head back and cackled.
“Baby, you’re perfect,” he confessed without hesitation, “but you’re not ready for me.”
“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot handle!”
He chuckled again. “Don’t overthink it. Let’s just enjoy the night, yeah?”
“You might as well just tell me not to breathe,” you retorted.
He grinned at you before pulling you against him.
"I thought I was only a means to piss off your parents,” he whispered in your ear.
The grip he had on your waist was rough. You could tell it was an act of lust alone and that’s not you wanted. It wasn’t what you were asking for. You could understand why he’d assume you’d want it this way as you’d never insinuated you wanted anything remotely affectionate from him when sober. You had to set the record straight.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t like you too,” you mumbled shyly.
He jerked back to look into your eyes suspiciously. His arms around you tensed. You were delving in dangerous waters called feelings. It was not what you signed up for and he knew it too.
“I call bullshit.“
"Why’d you think I stayed away from you all these years?! Because I knew if I had a taste of you I’d be screwed,” you blurted, now with nothing to lose.
He smirked, shaking his head as if you had gone crazy.
“It’s been a month, don’t pretend you don’t feel the same as I do,” you said softly.
He didn’t answer that, instead his eyes went dark and narrow. You took half a step back. Your little white skirt suddenly became very interesting as you fiddled with it anxiously. You could feel his eyes on you and his second hand smoke fanning your face. He flicked the butt away before grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks in one hand aggressively.
“Don’t you fucking dare assume our feelings are mutual,” he growled, “you don’t want anything to do with me! You never did!”
He stormed off, shoving you aside. You knew why he was angry. Understandably, he thought you were fucking him around, taking advantage of the soft spot he held for you. As far as he was concerned, you weren’t interested. During the week you’d go back to pretending he didn’t exist, too scared of what people thought. But what he didn’t know was that you were falling for him, hard.
He was different with you. Throughout your weekends together he revealed a side of himself hardly anyone had the privilege of seeing. He was caring and reliable and loyal in his own fantastically unique way. And boy, was he a good time. Traits, you couldn’t experience with your friends and their lack of depth. He was real and it was so refreshing in your existence of superficiality. He changed your life and view on everything. And now you were mad that you couldn’t just swallow your pride and protect his heart.
You eventually followed him outside and found him on the couch with his brother and his friends. They were laughing and it seemed he’d just forgotten all about you. He was the epitome of hot and cold.
“Take me home,” you demanded, interrupting their conversation.
He looked up at you, his grin dropping into a grimace. He sighed and got up while his boys booed and threw their empty beer cans at him. He motioned for you to take the lead while he bid his friends farewell, slapping a few hands.
The car ride was silent apart from his rock anthems mixtape still playing from the car ride to. It was weird not screaming out the lyrics with him. It was just weird full stop. Despite him speeding past intersections and red lights, it felt like the trip was in slow motion.
When you got to your house, you found the gates closed. They normally were and he’d give you boost so you could climb over. Tonight was no different. You got out of the car before him, wanting to get away from the enclosed tension as quick as possible. You refused to acknowledge him as you heard his car door slam. The shuffling of his feet got louder and soon his hands were on your waist, ready to lift you.
“Wait,” you spoke to him for the first time since you’d left the party, shoving his hands off of you.
He scoffed.
“You know what? I’m done!”
He was irritated and when he got in these moods, it was difficult for him to escape them. He was about to storm off but he paused and turned to rasp at you.
“Don’t ask me for anything ever again-”
You don’t know what came over you but before you could stop yourself your hands were in his hair and you were kissing him, hard. He caught your weight effortlessly as you practically threw your body at him. You could sense the relief by the way his shoulders just completely relaxed, as if this kiss cured all the anguish in his heart. As if this kiss proved he hadn’t just wasted three years of his life pining after a girl that he would never have.
You were getting carried away, especially when you pushed your tongue into his mouth. He growled, lifting you off your feet and adjusting your thighs around his waist as if you weighed nothing. He had to stretch his neck up to keep his lips against yours as he took a few steps towards his car and delicately laid you down on the bonnet. You were starting to get wanton with him leaning over you, his body engulfing your smaller frame entirely. You were surrounded, suffocated and you indulged. He felt like a drug, and you were an amateur, extra susceptible to the addiction. When he started pulling your hair back roughly and biting your lip when you’d separate, it had you begging for more. Your legs wrapped around him. You couldn’t help letting the little moans escape your lips. It was the danger that coincided with him, the taboo nature of it all. He was bad for you. It was wrong for you to get involved with him. You knew it from the start but the attraction to him and the idea of him was too strong. You made your bed, now you were lying in it.
Before he could slip a hand under your skirt, your porch light lit up and the automatic front gate opened. Your dad screaming for you to get inside, forced you two apart. He let you go with a smirk and then turned to bellow a smartass remark at your dad, who then told him to fuck off.
“Don’t you ever try to break up with me again,” you warned him, walking backwards towards your summoner.
His hair was a mess and his lipstick stained mouth stretched into a boyish grin. His whole demeanour had transformed back into the boy who dazzled you with his cold kindness and genuineness. And as ridiculous as it sounded, you knew, just then, that you were in love with him. It didn’t need to be spoken or labelled or justified. He had you as much as you had a hold on him. From that moment on, you were his.
*
The looks on the boys faces screamed they were relayed too much information. Taehyung’s was morphed the most.
“I’m gonna barf,” he groaned with a grimace.
Yoongi rolled his eyes at him. “Do you want to hear the story or not?!”
“I’m not too sure anymore,” he admitted with distaste.
“Just because it wasn’t you between her thighs,” Jimin provoked him.
Taehyung jaw clenched and he almost pounced at his friend. Yoongi held him down.
“Ignore them, ____,” Hoseok reassured you, squeezing your hand he’d been holding this entire time.
“Fine, I’m jealous! Who is this guy?!” Taehyung exasperated, fed up with the mystery and ego hurt by an unidentified character.
They all fell into silence. Taehyung was always the one to speak what the others thought. You knew they were dying to know who he was, but this was the only way you were able to share this story. You took a deep breath, deciding to be kind and give them his first name, common and a far link from his notoriety.
“His name was Jungkook.”
*
Your parents didn’t know his name. They didn’t care to know. To them his name was dropkick, druggie, lowlife and any other related pet names. Frankly, you didn’t care what they thought anymore. When they offered to let you out of your inheritance, you declined because it was under the condition you break with him. Every offer they gave you was under the condition you break up with him. Needless to say, you refused every time. Nothing could make you happier than Jungkook did.
For the rest of your last year of high school, you and Jungkook were inseparable. On the monday after that first kiss, Jungkook picked you up and drove you to school. Every head turned as you hopped out of his car and slid under his arm. You two were the talk of the school and eventually it pushed your friends away. You were the most popular pristine girl in school gone wayward. And you didn’t give a fuck. Jungkook was the only thing that matter to you, your world revolved around him now.
After few months, you changed. The influence of him was too dominant to resist. Gone were the pink fluffy sweaters and pony tails, replaced with one of his many leather jackets and wild hair. It was a classic Sandra-dee transformation. And despite Jungkook’s weakness for little innocent girly girls, he loved it. You were his good girl gone bad, he’d tease.
“Fuck, I would die for you, ____,” he groaned through a kiss.
You were in his lap, his lap in the driver’s seat. He had parked outside a diner you’d go for late night milkshakes. His gear shift dug into your side and your head banged against the roof, but there was no place you’d rather be.
“Uh huh,” you replied, refusing to leave his lips for longer than a second.
“I’m serious, I would die and kill for you.”
You pulled away, leaning against the steering wheel. He’d never use the word love. Instead he would use intense alternatives, he adored you, he never felt anything remotely the same as he felt for you, you were the only one, he never wanted anything as much as he wanted you. It was like he had this unwavering insecurity you’d leave him, that he’d scare you away with the word ‘love’. As contradicting as that sounded by the things he’d say instead.
“Let’s hope you’ll never have to,” you murmured, running a hand through his hair in comfort.
“But I would,” he reiterated softly.
There was such intensity in his eyes it made you shiver. And you believed him. You believed he loved you that much. And shamefully, the thought went straight to your core.
“Take me home.”
Jungkook looked bewildered then his eyes drifted away from you in disappointment, his jaw clenched. He patted your thigh to signal for you to hop back into your seat. You refused, grabbing his face and grinding into his growing bulge.
“Take me home.”
His dark eyes lit up with pure desire. He cocked an eyebrow before smirking and attacking your face one last time. You threw yourself back into your seat with a giggle. Jungkook drove like a madman, but the way he reversed and sped down the road that night truly topped the cake.
Sparing the details, you fucked that night and to this day, Jungkook was the best you ever had. He was rough as fuck and forced your orgasms but at the same time, he appreciated your body. He listened to it and soothed it after doing all the kinky shit he was into. It was fair to say you were ruined, a complete sap for him, as much as he was for you. You never thought you would have such a high sex drive. You never thought you would ever be as needy for anything as much as you were for his cock. But that’s what you turned into - what Jungkook did to you. You always had to be around him, always with him, always touching him.
It was a month before graduation and you had flunked. Whenever he would ditch, you would too. Thankfully both your parents were rich and could buy your grades. They made it too easy for you both. You both had no desire to do anything, except each other.
It was a week before graduation, before you’d be sent to university overseas and him, forced into the family business as his father’s precious protégée. They were separating you. Your worlds were ending. You both weren’t ready for the responsibility or the heartbreak.
It was a few days before graduation and you were on your Friday night cruise, screaming the lyrics to rock ballads as Jungkook drove a hundred kilometres per hour. Every now and then, he’d grab and suck your face hotly, eyes off the road for seconds too long. The thrill was almost unbearable, as if you’d be close to losing not only your life but your sanity.
He parked in a secluded reserve overlooking a lake, the stars shimmering in the water. You drifted into quiet, savouring the moment, knowing they were limited. The soft guitar riffs from the car stereo set this serene, longing mood. Jungkook’s hand slid between your thighs, a plea for you to come over and straddle him, so you did. You wriggled yourself comfortable without the familiar feeling of rock pushing into your inner thigh, which confused you because he was usually a goner as soon as your clothed core would simply brush against him. He trapped your head between his calloused palms, always slightly tinged black from grease. His eyes held that intensity that made you weak and they glazed over at the sight of you. You could faintly make out your silhouette in his dilated pupils and it gave you an overwhelming need to stay there, in his eyes forever. You ignored that deep darkness behind them that you always had sensed was there. You wanted to believe he was perfect, because he damn felt like it.
“Listen,” he began, clearly something important on his mind.
“Runaway with me,” you breathed, connecting foreheads.
His eye widened, his skepticism emerging and he retracted.
“Don’t,” you whimpered. “I love you Jungkook and I can’t bare the thought of not being with you for even a second please.”
He searched your face for any hint of hesitation, but there was none.
“She’s begging me now,” he chuffed with a satisfied smirk.
"I love you Jungkook,” you repeated, now unsure if he heard you the first time.
You both fell into a silence that lasted way longer than you would have liked. You hated when he did this to you, leaving you in suspense. However as much as you hated it, it also intrigued you. It was the mystery of him that had you hooked. You thought he would wail at your confession and suffocate you with his lips but instead, he stared. He was unpredictable and wavering and it tortured you. But like the masochist you were, you loved it because it was undeniably him and you were in love with him.
“Ok,” he finally said, before turning the key in the ignition.
His engine roared to life and you flopped into your seat.
“Where are we going?”
“There’s something you need to see,” he admitted.
You only nodded when he took his eyes off the road for a second to look at you. You could tell it was serious by the way his knuckles protruded clutched to the steering wheel and the way his jaw clenched and sharpened. Jungkook was intense about a lot of things, but you had never seen him before in the way he was then. His vibe wasn’t awkward or brooding or anything identifiable as Jungkook. It was like you were in the car with someone else entirely.
When Jungkook pulled up to the front of the dive bar ‘Hunt’, you were beginning to get uneasy. You knew this bar and it’s red neon sign and it’s grotty exterior. It was notorious. Your little sheltered self began to panic.
“Jungkook-”
“Do you trust me?” He interrupted, forcing eye contact.
Instantly, your racing heart calmed. Your breathing steadied. The power he had over you, unfaltered.
“With my life.”
“Good,” he kissed your forehead and smiled, “I won’t be long, stay.”
And you did. He slammed the door behind him and searched for something in his back pocket. A man sat outside the bar and Jungkook seemed to be heading straight for him. He stopped after discovering his pockets empty, his boots scraped the wet concrete as he turned and sent a wink your way. You narrowed your eyes and scoffed at his cheap attempt to be charming. As you watched Jungkook backtrack towards you through the windshield, you spotted his cigarette packet on the dashboard.You weren’t a big smoker then. Jungkook never offered and you were always too shy to ask. However it did make him smile when you’d pinch one from his packet or pull his hand towards your face for a drag of his already lit.
You helped yourself, wincing as the smoke burned your throat. You were too busy coughing and manually winding the window down to notice Jungkook slamming his boot closed. You eyes were watering a bit too much for you to see what he dragged across concrete as he walked back towards the man outside the bar. Even without these setbacks, nothing would be able to prepare or warn you for what happened next…
The man stood up once he recognised Jungkook.
“Jeon, what the fuck man you’re early?” You heard him bellow. “Suk isn’t here yet and you know he’ll run if he sees you.”
“Suk isn’t the job anymore,” Jungkook replied coolly.
Jungkook stopped directly under the neon sign. The fluorescent light shone down upon him tinting his black silhouette the colour of blood. He was shorter than the other man however his presence was stronger, more menacing, almost demonic with the red hue highlighting his frame. His back was facing you but you could just sense the stare he was giving this man. It was his infamous stare down his perfect nose, jawline protruding, with that borderline frightening smirk. You knew the look at too well. But this was different, his body language was different and you were struggling to put your finger on how. And the fear of this unknown side of Jungkook had your mind reeling.
What the fuck was going on?
“What?” the man exclaimed, “What do you mean?”
“He’s not the job anymore,” Jungkook reiterated.
His tone was so foreign to you, it made you shift uncomfortably in your seat. It was like the voice coming out of your boyfriend’s mouth wasn’t your boyfriend’s at all. It was cold and dark but not the cold and dark you’d normally associate with him. No, this tone was twisted, monotone but mocking.
“So? No job?” The man questioned apprehensively.
Jungkook chuckled. “Oh, there’s still a job.”
You were too immersed in the conversation and trying to figure out who this mystery man was. So much so, you didn’t see what Jungkook was holding. Your eyes followed his toned arms that you’d relish within when he held you, all the way down to the hands and palms you’d kiss lovingly, all the way down to the bat his hand held. A baseball bat with nails sticking out like a fucking medieval mace. Your whole body went numb.
“You.”
Before you had a chance to scream, Jungkook had swung his bat and lodged it into the man’s skull. The most sadistic noise you had ever heard left his mouth, it was like a satisfied grunt and then a manic howl. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t function or process. You just sat there and watched as the life left a man’s eyes… by your boyfriend’s hand.
As he ripped his weapon free, the man’s blood and brains sprayed everywhere, Quentin Tarantino style. If you had to vomit you swallowed it as Jungkook took another swing. The guy was dead but he took two extra blows to his chest, cackling. He was enjoying it. The blood, the gore, the violence, he seemed to indulge in his work, his sick artistry. And that’s what truly made you terrified and disgusted to the very core.
You were frozen. Every fibre of your being was screaming at you to run, but you couldn’t as if the shock and adrenaline stunted your movements. All you could do was sit there and watch as Jungkook continued to maim a dead body, hitting it over and over, blood and flesh flying everywhere. If you could speak you would scream for him to stop, despite the fact he probably wouldn’t in his crazed trance. A few more blows to the stomach and he stopped, hovering over the human he just mutilated. His chest was heaving as he wiped his forehead with the back of his bloody hand, smearing his face red.
To say you were beyond horrified was an understatement. You found your hand itching the door handle, sensing your fight or flight mode kicking in. You only had a few seconds, you calculated. Assessing your surroundings, you figured your best shot was to run down the alleyway onto the main road screaming bloody murder, literally. You almost followed through, almost, until you realised there was no way you’d be able to outrun him. He was the star batter of the baseball team until he got kicked out of the team for starting a fight with the pitcher. He would catch you within seconds and there would be no way you’d be able to get away. He was the star wrestler until he got kicked out of the wrestling team for breaking a kid’s arm during a match. You started to panic, the only thought running through your mind being that the love of your life was about to kill you.
Your few seconds were up. As he turned to you in a snap and stormed closer, you had accepted your fate. Jungkook attempted to open your locked door and you refused to look out your window to see the disappointed look on his face. You heard him sigh and then rummage for the car keys. You winced as he slowly jiggled the key into the lock and opened the door. You still couldn’t look at him, not until his hands were on you and you were pressed up against the car door. It took every fibre of your being not to breakdown under his crazed gaze. He was even more terrifying up close, especially because he was suddenly so damn calm, as if he could snap at any moment. You willed yourself not to shake in his grasp.
“Say it again,” he mumbled.
“W-w-wha-”
“SAY IT AGAIN!”
And there it was. You would have jumped out of his grasp if he wasn’t holding you so tightly. He then grabbed a handful of your hair and cupped your face with the other hand. The blood was everywhere, all over you, the stench of copper too strong to deny was real. You really couldn’t hold it in any longer. So, you cried.
“Tell me again baby. Just- ah FUCK,” Jungkook bellowed before wiping your tears with bloody fingers. “Tell me again, those three little words. I need to hear them again.”
“I love you,” you croaked.
He smiled, that toothy grin you had fallen in love with. You choked on a sob, seeing that same smile on a blood smeared face, completely tainted. He stroked your face and cheeks affectionately, as if he wasn’t painting your face red. You naturally squirmed but tried your best to keep those reflexes at bay and unnoticed. However, surely, you could have spat in his face and he wouldn’t pay any mind to it. He was completely delirious, high off adrenaline from just taking a life and drunk in his love for you.
“I love you too.”
And then his lips were on yours, his tongue in your mouth. You reluctantly followed his lead in the kiss, overwhelmed with the smell and taste of metal, digging your nails into his biceps to stop the tears from falling. He broke away eventually and knocked his wet forehead against yours to rest. The feeling of overwhelming heartbreak was the last thing you had expected after hearing those three little words.
*
The four boys stared at you in silence for a good minute. You were pretty sure you heard Yoongi mutter a ‘fuck’ under his breath but you all ignored it. You really needed them to say something soon or you were sure a panic attack would be due. However, what could you expect them to say after you just told your best friends of two years that you dated a murderer?
“Wait. Did you say Jeon?!” Yoongi questioned.
You nodded.
“As in Jeon Jungkook?” Yoongi questioned further.
You nodded again.
"Jeon Jungkook? The heir to the most infamous drug cartel in the world? That Jeon Jungkook?” Yoongi questioned for a third time.
You nodded for a third time.
“Holy shit ____!” Taehyung chimed in, in an almost disappointed tone.
“Look, I sent him to prison!”
“How?!” Jimin asked, wide eyed.
You sighed, that bit of information was why Jungkook had been a secret for so long. Everyone knew he was in prison but no one knew why or how and that was because, if people knew, it was your ass and your life on the line. But, you had come this far and they deserved the whole truth.
“I told him we should run away the next day, as soon as we could but he told me he had some business he needed to take care of first and we would leave after said business, which, now I knew what that was exactly. So, I ran to my parents and got them to send an anonymous tip on my behalf, so there was no way it could be traced back to me,” you explained.
You glanced at Taehyung, ready for the ‘princess running to mummy and daddy’ dig, but it never came. So you continued.
“At first it was a drug bust, he got done for possession with intent to supply class A drugs but once they searched his car they found enough evidence to link him to at least four murders.”
In that moment you turned to Hoseok and you wished you didn’t. He had the most shocked expression on his face and you had no idea why you had expected any different. So, you turned your attention back to Yoongi who managed to hold a disinterested expression the whole time.
“Jesus,” he mumbled.
Despite those few little remarks intended to go unnoticed.
“You did the right thing, ____,” Jimin attempted to comfort you, placing a hand on your knee.
You were grateful for the reassurance however it didn’t help the fact you had to uncomfortably live your wretched past. You thought you’d feel better being honest with your friends but instead it made you feel disgusted. You guessed that you never truly mourned the loss of Jungkook. You were just forced to forget him and pretend he never existed. And that never allowed you to come to terms with the fact that the man who you thought was the love of your life was not who you thought he was entirely.
“Ok so, what did this whole story have to do with the guy from before?” Taehyung asked.
“That was Jungkook’s brother, you idiot. Weren’t you listening?” Jimin reprimanded.
Taehyung was about to rebut but you interrupted this time.
“It turns out the secret’s out and he’s off to tell Jungkook.”
“We’ll keep you as safe as we can ____,” Yoongi pledged to you.
“Of course,” Taehyung chimed in. “But, he’s in jail? What can he do?”
Yoongi shot him a look of annoyance. “You really weren’t listening to the story, were you?”
“His family are powerful Tae, more powerful than all of ours combined,” Jimin connected the dots for him. “If they know ____ was the reason their precious heir is rotting in jail, she’s in a lot of danger-”
“I’m not,” you interrupted.
All the boys looked at you like you were out of your mind.
“The Jeon brothers keep their affairs to themselves,” you explained. “They hardly ever get their family involved, they’re too proud to run to mum and dad.” Unlike me, you almost added.
“Let’s hope so,” Yoongi sighed.
“And with Jungkook in prison, Jin can handle Namjoon,” you stated, staring at Yoongi who knew that statement about your brother to be true and he nodded.
There was a brief silence until Hoseok jumped up with a huff.
“Although you are safe, here, with us. I better check all the doors are locked and there aren’t any stranglers,” he said with a small smile.
You returned it and reluctantly let him slip his hand free from yours. “Ok Hobi.”
“I’ll come help you,” Yoongi offered, knowing Hoseok’s home was too big to cover alone.
As soon as the oldest boys left, Taehyung crawled up to where Hoseok was lying and tucked himself in. Jimin tapped your thigh, signalling for you to move over so he could do the same on the other side of you. You got yourself comfortable. Sandwiched between your two best friends, gave you the strongest sense of security and relief that you hadn’t felt in a while.
“You are an amazing brave girl and we’re gonna make sure that that monster- or any other monster like him won’t touch you ever again,” Jimin whispered to you before resting his head on your back. You looked at Taehyung and he nodded in agreement.
Goddamn, you loved them. You wished you could spend forever coddled by them, you wished you could believe them. But, you couldn’t shake the feeling that, this time, you couldn’t just shove the memory of Jungkook aside. And that his chapter in your life was far from over.
next chapter
#networkbangtan#jungkooknet#btscreatorsnet#bangtanbuds#taeguknetwork#jungkook x reader#taehyung x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook#bts#bts fanfics#jungkook fanfic#taehyung fanfic#bts angst#bts smut#taehyung#bts scenarios#fatal attraction 01#mine*fic#mine#i just wanna say thank you to all my gals that supported me throughout this#i love you all alot
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
2018 Year In Review
Another year, another review 💕(I actually typed most of this up before 2019 and then got distracted, whoops)
To put things short, 2018 has been AWESOME :D Exhausting and fast, but awesome.
I started it off pretty uncertain how things were going to go, dreading it would be a repeat of 2017′s boring TAFE courses and endless job rejections. But the miracle happened - a 2D animation studio opened up near me, I applied, did an animation test and got the job!
The job was a contract from 1st of April - 21st of December, so I spent the majority of my year going to work to animate characters for a really crazy but hilarious new kids show called Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena, due to air mid 2019 :)
It was honestly the most fun job I have ever had and I can’t wait for the next project! 🎉 I have never been this exhausted in my life, though. 😅I had already booked a whole bunch of conventions before I got the job, and didn’t want to cancel them so I was working nonstop - Animation during the day and intensive convention prep every night.
I also had the bright idea of creating a full colour 26 page comic -with a tight deadline - so I was madly working to the point I didn’t even have time for dinner half the time :’) I am sort of happy with the comic, but also kind of wish I never had the idea in the first place. 😅
I tabled at a ton of conventions; Melbourne Supanova, Central Coast ComiCon, Other Worlds Zine Fair, Sydney Supanova, SMASH and Canberra Gamma Con. If next year doesn’t go so well on the job side of things I’m hoping to add a few more conventions to that list - Brisbane Supanova, Oz Comic Con and Animaga to name a few. I’ve already booked Sydney Madman Anime Festival!
2018 was the year my partner and I celebrated our 4th year together, and he never fails to amaze me with his continuous love and support. I was too sick to attend the first day of SMASH, so he set up and ran the whole stall for me while I stayed at home. Same with Sydney Supanova, I was too bogged down in animation work and couldn’t afford to take the Friday off, so he set up and ran the stall for me on Friday, then we ran the stall together on the weekend. He also tended to my every need when I broke my toe, cooked all my meals when I was busy with work and even packaged + posted all my Etsy orders every day because I was always working during post office hours. He listened to all the problems I was having with my stall setup and helped make shelves and decorations to make it look and function better. I was getting stressed because my desk space was too small, BAM he bought me a brand new desk with plenty of storage. I was getting stressed that I had so much on my convention to-do-list and couldn’t keep track of all my project ideas, BAM, he sets up a whiteboard and helps me brainstorm everything so I can keep track of all my thoughts and ideas and what to prioritise for future conventions. I didn’t even ask him to do any of this, he just loves to help me and make me happy and I am forever blissed and happy to be able to spend my life with such a wonderful human!
(Home made High Tea I made for him on Valentines Day)
Arsty Highlilghts / accomplishments:
🌸I designed 9 cute Houseki no Kuni acrylic charms which have been doing really well at conventions!
🌸I also drew a cute series of ‘Sleepy Gem’ Houseki no Kuni / Steven Universe holographic prints, which I’m quite proud of 😊
🌸I created my 2nd enamel pin design, which already needed 2 reorders because they were so popular! ;w; I never knew I could make something that so many people love *sob* I’ve already planned to make these into a series! (already designed some deer ones, and thinking of doing foxes next ^_^ )
🌸I also tried getting gold foil prints done for the first time, which was pretty cool! I got the american sizes mixed up though so I might try for the bigger size next time :) (grainy photo cause its a screenshot from a video)
🌸I’ve been taking steps to make my stall look more ‘professional’, and got a really neat wooden sign made for me by my friend as_sweet_as_jasmine!
🌸I’ve started revamping my favourite series of posters - the Eevee Gijinka girls :) I plan to have them all done and ready for 2019s conventions!
🌸This was the year I got an iPad, so I could do digital art on-the-go. Honestly its helped me so much, and I can’t wait to be able to use it more (sorta didn’t get a chance to touch it while i was working!)
🌸I got Copic Markers for my birthday so I had a whole new medium to play with! These mixed with using a brush pen for inking really make my inktobers pop and I’m eager to draw more with them :)
🌸Speaking of Inktober, it was a huge accomplishment for me to put effort into a decent artwork every day this year! Usually theres a few dud ones when I lacked inspiration, but I somehow managed to make it work ;w; So when it came time to printing the books, theres 31 illustrations rather than 25 like the others :) Also the whole rainbow theme idea came from how cool I think it would look flipping through a rainbow book - so I managed to make that happen and couldn’t be happier!
🌸I passed 1000 sales on Etsy!! 😱As well as 1000 followers on instagram! Crazy right??
General 2018 highlights
🌸2018 was the year one of my best friends got married! I made cute little clay wedding cake toppers for her :)
🌸The year Owl City’s 7th album Cinematic came out!! All the tracks are so GOOD and exactly the sound all us hootowls were longing for. Also Be Brave is a tearjerker, in a good way. What an amazing human Abbey is to Adam <3
🌸The year Spyro Reignited Trilogy came out!! It’s absolutely amazing, and I love every second of it. Every time I play it I just can’t help but stand there looking around at every detail because everything is just so gorgeous *_* And the nostalgia is so real.
🌸Not exactly a highlight but the year Tumblr went NSFW free, and lost hundreds of thousands of users 😂I’m still here though. Got a dumb tradition to keep up ya know.
🌸The year my work had a hilarious Christmas party where we had to dress up as a character from Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena. It was the first time I actually put effort into a cosplay by myself 😂(possibly the last) (wont put a photo up for embarrassing reasons)
🌸the year I broke my toe for the first time xD;; definitely not a highlight but a first! I couldn’t walk for weeks! it sucked!!! T__T
🌸The year my friend successfully funded his kickstarter for his own cartoon ‘Nurry Brothers Adventure World’ :D So proud of him. I’m gonna help him animate!
🌸The year Lano and Woodley reunited with their amazing show ‘Fly’!! I loved it so much I saw it twice :D
🌸The year I tried doing Halloween for the first time - I bought a bunch of lollies and chocolates and decorations on my letterbox/door to let people know I was participating. I got 2 different groups of people at the door, 5 people all up 😂More than I expected tbh!
🌸I tried Ruby chocolate for the first time! It was ok .. just kinda tasted like berry yoghurt flavoured white chocolate though ;w;
SO! What’s coming for 2019?
I’m not really sure at the moment, but I have high hopes for Cheeky Little Studios (the animation company I worked for) - so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if any of their next projects get concrete start dates :) I’m not as terrified of the year as I usually am when its just one big question mark. I know I can make decent money through conventions and commissions in the meant time so I’ll just continue doing what I love!
LAST YEAR I SAID:
“I am crossing my fingers for an animation job I applied for a while ago” - I GOT IT! :D
“I plan to do even more conventions. Hopefully I can get into Oz Comic Con!" - didn’t end up applying because I was busy with the job, but keen to try for 2019 :)
"I’m keen to apply for like Animaga in Melbourne, as well as Madman Anime Fest in Brisbane and Melbourne.” - didn’t end up doing so for the same reason above, but that might change this year :)
“I also want to make a lot more non-fandom things for market stalls, as well as a comic and zines!” - I made the comic, as well as 3 inktober zines and a cute ‘if I fits I sits’ cat zine! As well as a bunch of cute original enamel pin ideas and my whole inktober was original art :D
“Hopefully I’ll hit 1k followers on fb/ig? :D that will make me feel important lol” - I hit 1k on instagram!! I felt very important xD
“I’m also hoping to go on a holiday this year." - I didn’t, for job reasons ... buuut I’m booked in for a cruise in Italy / Greece this September that I’m extremely excited for!
“PLEASE BE KIND 2018, I’M BEGGING YOU 😱” - You were very very kind to me, 2018. 2019, please follow suit!
(man this is the 7th year of review I’ve done. Can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr this long 😅)
[2017]
[2016]
[2015]
[2014]
[2013]
[2012]
#2018#2018 year review#year review#year in review#personal crap#i honestly dont expect anyone to read these#i just do them for myself lol
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows Vol 2 #6-7 Thoughts
Previous thoughts here.
Okay I’ve finally caught up to where I left off with RYV in 2017 so these are my thoughts on the X-Men arc.
I have very mixed feeling about this arc depending upon what POV I look at it from.
As a general story unto itself and an instalment in this series it was pretty great.
However in the context of an AU series with a limited shelf-life as is and in a context when Spider-Man had so often been sharing the spotlight (and the Spider-Marriage hadn’t been seen) making what amounted to a standard paint by numbers X-Men story just from the Parker’s POV was very questionable even if I like the X-Men.
Finally from the POV of a guy who likes the X-Men but isn’t hardcore but is very much in love with 90s X-Men (which this version is based upon) my feelings are very mixed.
And that boils down to what I love about the X-Men and that era of the X-Men vs. how Conway apparently feels about them.
But let’s get general perennial opinions out the way. I’ve grown to begrudgingly accept the conceit of this series as a Spider Family book and a book where we are just going to ignore the child endangerment issues at play. But i’ve spoken about that before in my older coverage of issues #1-5. Similarly in those issues and it still holds true for this arc, Stegman is the goddam man when it comes to the artwork.
Whilst there was one panel in which he tried to draw MJ shocked and upset and it came off just goofy, over all the artwork in this arc was stunning and I genuinely said ‘wow’ out loud when I got to the splash page of Spider-Man and Wolverine.
Keeping on the visuals for a moment, I goddam love the costumes chosen for the characters here. Yes even the reimagined looks for Toad, Crucible and Mist Mistress.
Obviously I don’t talk X-Men here much but I adore the 1990s X-Men costumes from the 1992 cartoon, which originated under Jim Lee. And honestly they genuinely are among the most iconic and visually dynamic looks for the characters so it’s not purely personal preference. This is especially resonant for me with Wolverine. Spider-Man is my favourite (American comic book) character and following him are various Spider-Verse characters like MJ, Norman Osborn, Ben Reilly, Mayday, etc.
But outside of those Spider-Verse characters, Wolverine is my absolute fav Marvel character and it’s always annoyed me that Marvel were like embarrassed to put him in his classic Giant-Sized X-Men uniform once Whedon began writing X-Men.
That is THE iconic Wolverine look and in this story Stegman brought it back baby!
Similarly I appreciated that the Magneto of this story both looked and acted like classic Magneto. Not the aweful black and silver shit he was wearing around this time in the comics and I’ve never been fond of him as a good guy member of the X-Men.
Honestly, whilst I get it was well executed character development, Magneto is inherently more interesting as a morally grey antagonist for the X-Men than among their ranks. So much of the core premise of X-Men is built around the fundamental philosophical conflict between Magneto’s beliefs and Xaviers that you lose a not insignificant chunk of the essence of X-Men when you put them on the same side. Not to mention in a superhero story you want strong characters as antagonists and Magneto is arguably the best X-Men villain, scratch that best comic book villain, ever.
Okay now let’s chat story.
I wasn’t pleased with the deaths in this. Banshee might be few people’s fav but Beast was and in both cases their quick shock deaths were unearned and unworthy. Kind of overly dark to be honest with you given the nature of the RYV book and it gave the impression that Conway isn’t fond of either character.
But that sentiment shines through far more poignantly with Jubilee and Cyclops. Whilst Cyclops gets screwed over slightly less badly than he did in the X-Men movies, the same problems occur. He gets undermined in favour of Wolverine and so Logan and Jean can be shipped together. Which is only a different flavour of frustrating if you LIKE the Cyclops/Jean relationship as I do, than when Jean got screwed over so Scott and Emma could hook up. I still despise that.*
But at least this was kind of believable, at least to me. No X-Men expert so maybe their break up was OOC, but the idea that Cyclops and Jean broke up because Jean didn’t have faith in controlling her Godlike powers whilst Cyclops did is an interesting piece of relationship drama. And at least the characters in RYV didn’t get fucked as hard as they did in the 2000s.
Still you can kind of tell Conway isn’t a big fan of Cyclops (understandable he has his haters, I hate 2000s-2010s Cyclops) but you can equally tell he really doesn’t like Jubilee.
Again, not an X-Men expert here but I’m pretty sure Jubilee being a traitor to the X-Men and being disillusioned by Xavier’s methods is immensely OOC for her character.
Now that isn’t that big of a deal because this is an AU at the end of the day. But if you like Jubilee or just know her character then it will probably annoy you. Unfortunately for one reason or another Jubilee in my observations seems to get a lot of hate that Kitty Pryde and X-23 don’t and I do not understand why.
In the cases of both characters I could tell instantly that Conway was setting one of them up to be the traitor and honestly if you are doing an AU book, Cyclops is kind of the more interesting choice although I grant you maybe not in the context of 2010s Cyclops who already murdered Xavier in AvX and has been a douchebag for a long time. But in the context of this story and 1990s X-Men which this story is trading off of, it’s the more interesting choice. I will give it to Conway though for at least bothering to give us 2 suspects. These days most writers wouldn’t even bother with that and just think they were being subtle when they have Jubilee say shit like “Maybe your human friend wouldn’t like you if she knew you were a mutant!”
On some final notes about the X-Men themselves I feel like there was maybe something more interesting you could’ve done with Jean and Wolverine’s child than what we got with Shine. In her personality and powers she could be any one of the army of Summers/Grey children or any given generic mutant. There is no Wolverine in her to be seen.
That’s not me inherently hating her. She’s just more of a missed opportunity. She was adorable unto herself and even moreso in her relationship with Annie and I hope that gets revisited in consequent issues.
My final little note regarding the X-Men themselves was that I didn’t care for Magneto being mind controlled at the end or his over all plan.
Okay, it’s more like I felt his plan was underdeveloped. Because it’s not that it didn’t make sense because it was literally the same plan from X2: X-Men United. But Conway basically expected you to have just known that because of the visuals and results of the plan. And for comic book and comic book movie fans like me, sure I know the shorthand but it’s not good storytelling. Similarly Emma Frost shows up at the end, barely talks but just kind of takes over as the main villain when Magneto had been the guy built up in the story and...he, he’s Magneto dude. That’s like having Puppet Master show up towards the end of a story where Doom’s been the main villain and take over.
Also doesn’t his helmet shield him from psychic control? I mean again it’s an AU and I feel like that wasn’t established until way later about Magneto but still.
I also wanna talk about how this arc more than anything else just blows up the continuity between RYV volume 1 and volume 2.
In RYV vol 1 #1 it was a big deal that the X-Men got wiped out by Regent and the implication was that the universe diverged in the early-mid 1990s.
In this arc though it’s made crystal clear that obviously the X-Men are fine and that in this universe (the dumpster fire clusterfuck that was) Civil War 2006 was avoided.
Which is again an example of Conway subtly saying screw you to stuff he doesn’t like but I don’t mind that because yeah screw Civil War it was hot trash. But it does make RYV volume 1 way more confusing in terms of continuity, especially since literally no other post-Secret Wars ongoing series (including X-Men ’92) seemed to radically alter their universe after the event like RYV did.
Honestly I think the only way to have it make sense is to just say RYV volume 2 is an alternate version of the RYV volume 1 characters and that prior to volume 2 a guy called the Regent showed up, stole some people’s powers then Spider-Man and his family stopped him. He didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t take over the world, he wasn’t trying to kill God Emperor Doom or whatever and the world didn’t know who Spider-Man was by the end of it.
This actually jives way better with what Houser would later establish in her run on RYV that Annie isn’t a daughter Peter and MJ had INSTEAD of Mayday, but in fact the daughter they would’ve had if OMD hadn’t fucked everything up. I guess in the RYV universe though Spider-Man never joined the Avengers and fashion was stuck in the 1990s even in the 2000s.
I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get all this stuff straight.
Okay let’s move onto the Parker family.
I loved the payoff to issue #2 with MJ planning a party and it turning out to be for Peter’s birthday. That was the best scene in the whole story. Normal life drama with supporting characters we know and love. This is the heart of Spider-Man! And it came with adorable scenes like Annie confronting the horror of gluten free desserts and acknowledgments of Aunt May and Aunt Anna’s deaths.
The heart of the story was the stuff related to whether Peter and MJ should make Annie stay at the Xavier school or not and the scenes exploring this were really good.
Spider-Man deal with relatively relatable everyday issues and failing that stuff that s clearly allegorical to said issues. In this case Annie’s powers are allegorical to a kid with a disability, special learning issues, or someone with a particular aptitude for learning that would make a normal school more challenging.
Special props goes to Peter relating to how he struggled in school and not wanting that for Annie. In MJ’s case though she wants to keep her daughter close. This makes sense retroactively when you consider she’s already lost one child and if you pretend RYV vol 1 happened then she spent years keeping Annie close out of fear that she died.
Putting those aside though it could be a commentary upon MJ’s own childhood growing up where she was constantly being uprooted and saw her family and her sister’s family fall apart. For MJ it’s likely very important that the family unit stay close together.
Conway’s writing shines because he organically (albeit not as subtly as he could) has them switch positions creating yet more potential conflict and makes sure Annie has her own view on the matter. She likes the school, she likes Shine but she doesn’t want things to change and justifies this in a childish way by making out a popular kid in her school is a bigger deal than she actually is.
My major point of condemnation though is that I feel way more could’ve been done with the premise (e.g. having MJ and Jean connect over super powered kids) than actually was because so much of the plot is dominated by villains invading the Xavier school for the umpteenth time.
Actually goes into two other problems with the arc. This is an incredibly generic X-Men storyline because obviously it’s from a Spider-Man perspective. Like if an X-Men story tried to present a window into the world of Spider-Man it’d be a typical thing about him making rent, working for Jameson and missing a date or whatever. It’s like default setting X-Men and whilst I like that because I miss those days before X-Men became a clusterfuck, it’s not the most compelling main plot in the world.
And honestly it wraps up too quickly and easily, MJ just decks Emma Frost and the story is done. Annie and Peter don’t get involved enough which is weird because isn’t this a team book? I mean as the story highlights it makes Mj look cool but I don’t like doing that at the expense of the other characters.
Now in fairness that might’ve been set up for the next arc, which I know is about MJ becoming Venom. The last page or two of the arc implies this because it features an overtly villainous Liz Allan.
At first I raised my eyebrow at this. Around that same time Liz had been presented as evil in the 616 books and I thought this might’ve been lame out of nowhere synergy.
But in thinking about it, if this really is a Liz Allan who is recently went through the stuff she dealt with in DeMatteis’ Harry Osborn arc from the 1990s (as is the implication) then Liz would be a darker person, would be more hard hearted to protect her son and she wasn’t the nicest person to the Parkers at that time.
Although issue #4 had MJ refer to Normie as creepy implying the Osborns and Parkers generally aren’t all that close in this universe.
Regardless Liz with the Venom symbiote targeting MJ and having the there be an explicit thematic connection between them via their shared motherhood was a darkly delicious moment.
As many mixed feelings as I have for this arc over all I give it a solid B.
*Hence I personally also loved Emma Frost just being a plain villain and getting decked by MJ because I goddam hate Emma Frost I really do.
#Spider-Man#Peter Parker#Spiderling#Anna May Parker#Spinnert#Mary Jane Watson Parker#RYV Thoughts#Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows#renew your vows#Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows#X-Men#Gerry Conway#Wolverine#ryan stegman#Jean Grey#Jubilee#Magneto#Scott Summers#Professor Xavier#Liz Allan
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tagged - Answer 21 questions
I've been tagged by @ninakh a while ago, however as usual I took a while to make it. Sorry about it >w<
Name: honestly I wouldn't advice anyone to give their name on Internet, but maybe it's just my old safe too attached to anonymity ^^' You can call me Mineko though, a lot of people use it (like a real name actually ) but it's the username I go to first generally in any website.
Nickname: I have a lot of nickname but most of them aren't used anymore
Zodiac: Cancer. By the way story time. Last year in uni I met a friend of one of my classmate that I was working with for a group project (we were assigned group by random so it's to tell you how much of a stranger this guy was). And in like 10 mn of discussion (and 10 mn of discussion with me when I don't know you is NOT a lot) the friend of my classmate just blurted out "you're born in July right?" So I just looked at him surprised before saying that yes I was. And then he told me I was acting like a typical cancer, so I guess if you're good in astrology you know now a lot about me? XD
Height: I know I already answered this before, I think it was close to 170 cm but not quite. Too lazy to search -_-
Time: 12:49
Favorite Musician: Stromae. If you don't know Stromae go check any of his song. Some are bellow his average level but otherwise he is a great artist. I know that in English a lot of his play of word are lost but hmm try anyway.
Recently I also had a liking for Chase Holfelder. You know this guy who remade "animal" which is used for amv in every fandom ever xD and it's the same for almost all the song he takes from major to minor keys. His kitchen cover are good too and made me dicover imagine dragon.
Recently, and on another genre Yann tiersen is also a musician I discovered recently and every song from him are beautiful to listen.
Also if you study biology acapella science is really good. It's where I first listened to evo devo- I mean despacito (yes I don't listen to radio) and while in the original song the good rythm is ruined by stupid lyrics, their evo devo version make this song have a great rythm AND being intelligent ! (Really if I had this song back when I was studying embryo development it could have helped at least a bit much x_x)
Song Stuck in my Head: The portrait of Pirate which is an old 2015 vocaloid song that I discovered just now.
Last Movie I Saw: The fantastical beast. I actually watched it in English, it was cool. Even if I was HIGLY disappointed by a certain character while having it coming since the first <.< if watched the movie you know who
Last Thing I Googled: a dandelion because I needed a reference for the last picture I made :3 but generally I don't google thing, I just go back to my three favourite site already saved xD
Other Blogs: mineko-mairhiel that I use to gather my drawings. I could have done that on this blog by tagging properly, but I didn't know how it worked before xp but I didn't post since a while on there. I mean tumblr is great to share fandom stuff but I mostly draw random character, not even OC, it's just, pictures x). But if I obsess on another game/series and the fandom isn't dead by the time I do (mystic messenger was a big exception, I usually start to be enthusiastic about things that people stop caring about xD) I might be active on there again, who knows.
Do I get Asks: It almost never happen but when I do get ask, I answer them ridiculously late (a bit like tag game) I'm sorry for the few soul who dropped by there, I swear it wasn't on purpose.
Why Did I Choose This Nickname: my current url? I guess it's the url since nicknames aren't chosen and generally just "happen" xD Well you know how there wasn't any proposition to chose an url before. And I tried absolutely every damn username I ever used in my life and none of them worked. And I got upset to see that it wasn't even "this url is already taken" but an unknown error happened (une erreur inconnue est survenue). So, out of spite I wrote "une fucking erreur inconnur" without caring about orthograph and it passed. I was so done when I wrote that that I just rolled with it xD Then a few month later I thought "hmm the word fucking in my url make me seems violent let's get rid of that. And I could also get rid of the typo while I'm at it." I'll let you guess why I ended up leaving the typo xD
Following: 102 o.o I honestly think most are inactive user because my blog isn't even centered around anything anymore. But for the few people who are still active and consciously following my blog... I can't understand you but a lot of love for you :3 may the silliness or the beautiful artwork I reblog help have you a good day!
Amount of sleep: If life was fair I could sleep 10 to 12 hours everyday. Since I have to study it's around 5-6. 8 if I don't work as much as I should o/
Lucky Number: 4 it's such a beautiful number. Look at it. Beautiful.
What am I wearing: my 8 yo pyjama that's not even purple anymore but fit wonderfully on me and that will never be thrown away unless it's shredded to piece or my mother come visit me.
My Dream Job: Huh honestly I currently don't know. I don't even have a expected job. I hope I'll be able to program things but life can take 90 degree turn so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dream Trip: either a country where I can witness a solar eclipse or northern/southern light.
Favorite Food: anything with cream in it I guess? Carbs? Fat? I can't choose a specific thing T_T
Instruments Played: well I think the good old recorder is universal. But I also had the chance to learn a bit of guitar (I can do some very very VERY basic song :p)
Favorite songs: this tag game is becoming too much long for what it is so I'll try to just give song without explaining why xD
Défiler -Stromae
Bâtard- Stromae
Quand c'est -Stromae
Basically the whole song track of Hamilton
Blessed Messiah and the Tower of Ai- I don't want to write q.q : Hitoshizuku-Yamasankakkei
Firework (minor key version)- chase holfelder
The portrait of pirate -Hitoshizuku-Yamasankakkei
Sister's mercy -Hitoshizuku-Yamasankakkei
The tree of reincarnation-Hitoshizuku-Yamasankakkei (gosh I guess he is my favourite composer)
The night series- Hitoshizuku-Yamasankakkei
How far I'll go(minor key version)- chase holfelder
Best day of my life (minor key version)- chase holfelder
What's up(minor key version)- chase holfelder
The willow maid-erutan
Natural- imagine dragon
I think we're good with those! As always sorry that it came that late, but tumblr acted up the first time I wrote it and I lost everything. So I was a bit disheartened. Thanks to @ninakh who still had the patience to tag me, even if I have a talent to answer super late ^^'
1 note
·
View note
Text
Skirting Katabasis
AO3 - Chapter One - Chapter Two
Chapter Three: She Forgot it Wasn’t Just About Her
Words: 2,913
Written for the @pidgebigbang!
Shout out to @ibupony for their glorious artwork (spoilers for a later chapter) and @sp4c3-0ddity for their diligent beta-ing (this chapter would have been very different without her).
This fic was not supposed to be this angsty, but I’m proud of how many headcanons I’ve managed to cram in.
Are the read mores working again yet?
“Forgive my interruption, Princess, but did you just say refugees?”
J'aothlians were officially Pidge's least favourite aliens. They ranked even lower than Galra, given that she actively liked more than a few of them.
“Yes, Kztaun, there is some refugee movement between planets in the Coalition,” Allura replied. Her disdain was loud and clear through the bond, but — impressively — there was no trace in her voice. Allura’s diplomatic skills were one of Voltron’s best assets.
Pidge, for her part, was only ever expected to play nice, but she really should be better at diplomacy. The Holts had been in the Garrison for six generations and ranked as Commander or higher for all of them. Charity galas and harsh whispers of ‘Katerina, please don’t embarrass me this time’ were staples of her childhood.
She’d only escaped her junior débutante ball because half her family ‘died’ and it would be ‘too much stress’. Honestly, that was probably the only objectively good thing to come out of the Kerberos mission.
“You see, Princess, we don’t exactly have the room or resources for refugees, though we are of course happy to help in other ways…”
Pidge carefully kept her face neutral, biting back a snort. Her mother would have been proud.
J'aothl had plenty of room for refugees, and refugees would probably be lining up to come here. The city was built of white stone and had wide, clean streets and large squares filled with orderly-but-colourful stalls. A pristine white beach and a crystal-clear ocean bordered it on one side, with vast, mostly uninhabited savannas extending to snow-capped mountains on the other.
They could gift each refugee an acre of land and probably still never see them. Alas, J’aothl was in a heavily occupied quadrant of the Empire and inaccessible by anything other than teludav, a technology which the rest of the Coalition were sorely lacking.
“Actually, the refugee situation is mostly under control. We were hoping that you could help us make inroads into the more established areas of the Empire…”
The J’aothlian ministers — or Kztaun, as they called themselves — discreetly heaved a collective sigh of relief. Pidge felt a wave of anger wash over her. Two-faced, selfish snobs.
The planet had been a part of the Empire for millennia, and over the centuries evolved into a vacation destination for Galra subjects. It was nothing like the impoverished, oppressed planets Voltron usually visited. The only reason J’aothl was considering joining the Coalition at all was because tourist GAC had ground to a halt with all the upheaval. Even the commander in charge of the planet had been redeployed elsewhere, along with his entourage.
The Kztaun Major was obviously hoping that the Coalition could help to plug the gap.
Pidge tried to tune out the discussion as it turned towards intelligence, trade, and treaties. Natural beauty aside, J’aothl was apparently the most medically advanced planet in the universe and the original creators of Altean healing pod technology, which was the main reason Allura and Coran had jumped at the invitation despite the risky location. If they came on board Pidge would end up being briefed separately on the tech side of things, so it didn’t really matter if she paid that much attention now.
Plus, the last time she’d been in a room with people like this she’d gotten herself arrested for assault and banned from the Garrison Social Club. She didn’t quite trust herself to speak.
“...come here, the view across the water is absolutely delightful. After dinner, if you have time…”
Hunk glanced at Pidge nervously while she suppressed a twitch.
“Oh yeah, I’d love to!”
“I’m exceedingly glad to hear that our Justice Kztaun will be able to show you more of our beautiful planet. Now if we could…”
Pidge pushed her annoyance down and battled to tune out the conversation again. She was a Holt. She’d been brought up around people like this, and honestly? This lot had nothing on some of the Garrison wives.
It was probably because she was tired.
That had to be it. Pidge was really proud of the progress she'd been making on The Obol lately — the first half a foot or so was even recognisable as the bottom of the spaceship, a feat she didn't think was possible without Hunk — but progress came at a price, and for Pidge that price was collapsing into bed way past midnight after quick showers to get the grease off.
Facing the the universe's self-proclaimed greatest hosts and 'most evolved civilisation' on roughly two months of averaging four hours’ sleep a night would be difficult for anybody.
“I’m sure your Blue Paladin would make a fine escort.”
Pidge closed her eyes and blocked it out. It was just because she was tired.
Her bad mood had nothing to do with the Justice Kztaun being one of the most beautiful alien women Pidge had ever seen, nor the fact that she had been making eyes at Lance since the Castle had touched down.
Nor the fact that Lance was lapping it up.
Nausea swirled in her belly, and Pidge swallowed. It was ridiculous, but whatever. She wasn’t going to care.
The Kztaun kept batting her eyelashes at him, smiling, flipping her hair over her shoulder (even though it wasn’t even as long as Pidge’s had been!), and directing the conversation towards him for his 'valuable input'. Lance, for his part, was actually being charming — flirting subtly, paying her compliments at all the right times... Since when was he even able to do that?!
He'd barely even glanced at Pidge. Pidge, who'd been stupid enough to think that maybe they were on the verge of something. That maybe he actually liked her back. That liking Lance might not be such a bad thing after all, that maybe, maybe --
Hunk’s warm hand closed around her lower arm gently, cutting that train of thought off before it could show on her face. Pidge wished she could slip her hand into his, squeeze it until she could feel the steady comfort radiating through his warm skin, but that wouldn’t exactly look professional.
Instead, she took a deep breath as quietly as she could and focused on counting the flowers in the vase. Had she seen flowers resembling these at one of those horrible galas before? Maybe if she could place a memory she could remember some snarky comment about how ‘legacy women don’t pilot’ and get angry again.
Anger looked good on a soldier. Bursting into tears at the negotiating table? Not so much.
At least she was meeting Keith later. Apparently the chair and a few smaller pieces had been sold to a collector on the outskirts of the city, so she was meeting him after the dinner tonight. All she had to do was try to ignore stupid Lance and his stupid flirting (with everyone but her, he’d never flirted like that with her) and the concerned gazes that everyone else kept shooting her way...and somehow keep ignoring them all the way through dinner. Oh, and she had to definitely not stage a repeat of the Holt Fundraising Dinner in the process.
Then she would be free to sneak around the city with Keith who, at the very least, wouldn’t judge her if she needed to hit something.
Just six more vargas to go.
#
Madonna, how did she get into these situations? Here she was in space, millions of light-years away from any known allergens, and yet her eyes were sore, itchy, and watering, her nose was completely blocked, and her chest felt tight.
She glanced at Keith next to her on the sofa, completely unaffected as he sipped his tea, and for a fleeting moment she understood Lance’s jealousy.
Another round of sneezing racked her body with the force of an ion cannon. M'tchkiera tsk'd sympathetically. "I really can't understand how that can be common for your species," she said as she passed Pidge another tissue. "Anyway, as I was saying... Litchvr then had to travel to the Pyralliul Quadrant, which as you know is terribly far from here..."
Just to spite her -- because that seemed to be what the universe was up to today -- another one of those stupid ngl'achra-whatevers (why was every name on this stupid planet impossible to pronounce?! Cats. They were space cats. Done.) climbed over her shoulder from the back of the sofa and jumped onto her lap. She hurriedly pushed the space cat off as gently as possible, but the quiznaking furball still managed to leave a cloud of pastel pink and blue fur in its wake.
And off she went with another round of sneezing.
"Here, dear, have some more tea." A cup of steaming neon pink tea appeared under Pidge's nose when her vision finally cleared. She accepted it gratefully, and, without missing a beat, M'tchkiera (who insisted on being called Mad'ynko for short, because that apparently made complete, logical sense on J’aothl) continued on with her story. "At that point in time his mother had taken up with a woman from the Y'cht'kry District near the Gyrzcha Savanna -- I know you're likely busy with paladin and other duties but if you do get a chance to explore the city, don't waste any time there, it's dreadfully boring..."
Pidge had no idea what the conversation was even about anymore, so she tuned it out and hoped she was humming at the appropriate times. Mad'ynko — the first collector Keith had identified as having parts of The Obol — was an elderly J'aothlian lady who seemingly had a great deal of money and very little to spend it on. She had greeted them kindly, ushered them inside, listened to why they had come, and immediately offered them tea. Honestly, she was the first J'aothlian that Pidge actually sort of liked.
Only sort of, though. So far she had told them the life stories of what seemed like every single person in the district -- along with those of their cousins, childhood best friends, and random farmers’ market buddies — but whenever Keith steered the conversation back to The Obol, she would look at one of her bazillion space cats and say, 'But they would be so sad without their favourite chair!'
Two of said space cats were watching her from the familiar orange chair right now, their fluffy tails swishing slowly as they sprawled out on the seat, mocking her with their eyes.
Pidge refrained from sticking her tongue out and took another sip of tea. The pinnacle of human engineering, and it had been reduced to a cat tree.
She was going to need something stronger than tea.
"So then Harold, Zgniecs bless his soul—" Pidge blinked. Harold? "—was awarded the Medal of Highest Healing, but of course, as his widow, I submitted it to the Museum after his passing, and, as luck would have it, it ended up on the pyre—"
"I'm sorry for your loss," Pidge murmured automatically, feeling completely thrown for a loop. Everything on this stupid planet was completely unpronounceable, yet this woman's husband had been called Harold?
(It was probably short for Glyg'tch'kinzkaria.)
"Oh, Harold?" Mad'ynko waved a hand dismissively. "No need, my dear, no need. I'm well shot of him. Remaining dutiful while the poison worked was troublesome, of course, but—"
Both Pidge and Keith choked on their tea in unison.
Keith recovered first. "Uh," he began, banging his fist against his sternum. "You poisoned your husband?"
Mad'ynko looked at him coolly over the rim of the delicate silver teacup. "Why, yes, dear, of course. He was a philanderer." She took a sip, then smiled at Pidge. "It was by far the best decision I ever made. I've still got some left; shall I give you a vial together with the spaceship parts in case your black-haired beau here decides to stray?"
Pidge spluttered, making herself sneeze again in the process. "We're not together! We're just friends!"
"Oh?"
One perfectly groomed eyebrow was arched high as she looked between the two.
"We're...not like that," Keith confirmed, gripping his tea tightly. "Pidge is more like...like a little sister, than anything."
"Aw, Keith!" Pidge smiled and ducked her head cutely, batting her eyelashes at him, though the effect was probably muted somewhat by the giant clump of snot she could feel dangling from her nose.
Keith rolled his eyes and handed her another tissue, but that was definitely a blush on his cheeks, the sight of which warmed her heart.
Mad'ynko studied them curiously, one pale hand gently stroking the pastel purple space cat in her lap. She waited until the tissue had joined the growing pile of them in the trash can by Pidge’s feet before continuing the conversation.
"Why not? Are you already married to another?” Mad'ynko smiled indulgently, and Pidge was irresistibly reminded of summer nights spent being subjected to her Nonna’s good-natured — but nosey — neighbours. “Forgive me if I'm being presumptuous, but I find it difficult to believe that one as beautiful and accomplished as yourself should be single!"
Yep, Mad'ynko would fit right in with the donna. (Had she mentioned having a son who was single yet…?)
Keith laughed. "She has a boyfriend."
"No, I quiznaking don't," Pidge cut in, mood immediately souring. She took a deep breath and relaxed her grip on the delicate cup before continuing, ignoring the curious look Keith shot her. "I don't have time for a boyfriend, anyway."
"Much better that way, I fear," Mad'ynko answered primly. "Men simply can't help themselves. It's better to be alone than to allow someone to make you feel second-best."
"Tell me about it," Pidge muttered bitterly, downing the rest of her tea in one gulp. Apparently Lance really couldn't help himself. It was like he saw a pretty face and his brain just switched off.
Stupid, stupid, stupid—
Mad'ynko leaned forward to pat Pidge on the arm, nudging the purple space cat off her lap in the process. "Don't you worry, my dear. I'll make sure to add a vial or two to the package."
Pidge stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter.
Maybe Mad'ynko would be the first J'aothlian she liked, after all.
#
“Hand it over.”
Pidge wiped the sweat off her brow and blinked. “Hand what over?”
“The poison she gave you,” Keith said with a roll of his eyes. “Hand it over.”
“I’m not gonna use it.” She glared at him when Keith shot her a look over his water packet.
They were standing in the Great Puzzling Hangar at about two in the morning, having just finished cleaning and installing all three chairs onto the now-completed floor (having an extra pair of hands really helped with the heavy lifting).
They’d gotten the chair back to the castle via a hair-raising ride across the city in the cab of one of Mad'ynko’s neighbour’s sons’ hover-vans. For all its ‘great civilisation’, J’aothl apparently had very little in the way of road rules.
(Keith was going to return to Mad'ynko’s with an Altean blanket-cloud for the space cats tomorrow. He had been offered a lift, but Pidge suspected he was going to walk.)
Aside from the chair, Mad'ynko had also purchased a small box of odds-and-ends which now needed to be categorised properly. None of them were the missing thruster engine piece (from what Pidge could see), but one piece definitely looked like a bit of the flight stick…
“Pidge.”
She sighed. “Keith, I am not going to poison Lance. Relax already.”
“I’d rather you didn’t have temptation to hand,” he said evenly, plopping himself on the ground in front of her box.
Pidge steadfastly ignored his gaze and continued sorting through the contents.
“Pidge…”
“Ugh, fine!” She pulled the two little vials from her pocket and threw them at him.
The jerk caught them with ease — how were his reflexes so good? Was it a Galra thing? — and she ducked her head, focusing on the box so she wouldn’t have to look at him. “I don’t have any reason to use them on Lance anyway. It’s not like we were dating.”
“You weren’t? I thought you were spending all your free time together.” Keith’s tone was genuinely surprised.
The words stabbed her straight through the heart, and she tried to hide a wince. She shrugged miserably, knuckles tightening around a titanium exhaust of some sort; apparently she wasn’t the only one who’d been reading things wrong.
“Yeah, well, I guess that meant something different to Lance.”
Keith didn’t reply, and she willed herself to focus on the pieces. For the next few moments they sat in silence, the only noise the slurping of Keith’s straw and the clinking of metal on metal as Pidge grouped like components together.
Keith’s water packet had long been empty by the time he finally spoke.
“Pidge, I...I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
Sudden, burning tears pricked at her eyes, and she furiously blinked them away. “Look… I knew Lance was like that from the start. We all did. I guess… Oh, quiznak, Keith, I don’t know.” Pidge ran her hands through her hair and gazed at the ceiling of the hangar. “Can we talk about something else? Anything else?”
“Sure.” Keith tossed his empty water packet towards the door and got to his feet. “What were you planning on working on next? Is there anything else you want me to move while I’m here?”
–> Chapter Four: She Forgot to Step Outside Her Head
Fun fact: the space cats have glowing red eyes like the fluffy demons they are.
Also fun fact: Everybody on the team pronounces J’aothlian words differently. None of them are right.
#plance#pidge big bang#my writing#keith#pidge#lance#pidgance#flirtyrobot#lidge#pance#I'm sorry for the angst#well I'm not but I am
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
DTP Interview #6 Elbenherzart
Hello to all our friends and followers of Daily Thranduil Project!
Today it’s @elbenherzart‘s turn for our fandom interviews. She is a really talented professional illustrator, who has produced many beautiful artworks inspired by the world of Tolkien. She works with traditional media as well as with digital ones and has a lot of other creative talents, like sewing awesome cosplays. I hope you are curious to find out more about her, so without any further delay, I present you here with her answers to the questions we had asked her:
General Questions:
Username(s) we can find you under:
Either ElbenherzArt or my real name, Christina Kraus. :)
What Media do you create?
For digital paintings I use Photoshop and for my traditional stuff mostly inks or ballpoint pens. I almost never use pencils, because I find myself erasing all the time.
Are you self-taught or did you go to art school?
I am mostly self-taught. Tho I have a bachelor degree in Intermedia Design. This gave me a few design and composition fundamentals I can apply to my images, but didn't teach me to draw or to paint. Also I have a lot of other professionals as friends who help me with critiques and reflection of my art. I always wanted to go to Art School but the programs in Germany are pretty shitty for it. All you learn is like drawing with a pencil bound to a stick, drawing with your not-drawing hand or drawing with a blind fold. It's complete garbage and I envy people who can afford programs such as the Swedish Academy of realistic Art where you actually learn useful drawing and painting fundamentals instead of fooling around.
Which artists have influenced your style?
That is a tough question. I admire a lot of artists but I guess my digital work is mostly influenced by Magic-the Gathering or Dungeons & Dragons artists, since this is the direction my work is heading too.
Which are your favourite artists?
I'd say Peter Mohrbacher, Jana Schirmer, Cynthia Sheppard, Jason Rainville...but hell, there are a lot. I can't pick a favourite.
Where can we find your work?
On my website, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Deviantart, Artstation and on Behance.
What would you say you are best known for in the fandom?
I'm not even sure I'm known for anything in this fandom. XD But the work I did based on the Silmarillion so far sells the best on Conventions and I get the most comments on it.
Do you have a favourite pairing?
Yes of course, but it's kind of controversial I'd say. ;)
Do you have a favourite creation of yours you are especially proud of?
I'm kind of proud of my latest piece, Celebrimbor's Smithy. It was a tough one, since interior scenes are very hard in general for me. The work on this piece took a whole month with a few breaks of course.
Do you have a favourite fictional character, besides Thranduil of course?
That would be Kylo Ren/Ben Solo from the Star Wars Universe.
What other fandoms are you part of?
The Star Wars Fandom, tho I'm barely active there. I have a Tumblr blog dedicated to it, but I mostly just reblog stuff and did only one Star Wars related painting so far. The fandom is kind of toxic with its stupid ship wars and anti culture going on.
Do you do commissions?
Yes. :)
Any advice/words for others in the fandom?
That is such a general answer, but stay true to yourself, do what you love and don't give others shit over characters/pairings you don't like. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Be kind and respectful, you don't know what people are going through.
If you are an artist, or want to be one; only self reflection, critiques and hard work will get you moving forward. You need to be able to see your own flaws. For that you need to seek out people who can give you an honest opinion about your art. (Not your friends or family.)
Vanity is the downfall of every professional artist. You can be proud of your work, but never vain.
(You can always ask me for porfolio reviews or advice if you want by way. :))
Personal Questions:
Favourite Book?
The Silmarillion.
Favourite movie?
Currently Star Wars-The last Jedi.
Do you have a pet peeve?
Littering. When I see people throwing their trash onto the walkways or streets I get furious. Take it to the next trash bin or home! It's not difficult.
What country are you from?
Germany!
Who do you think you might have been in a past life?
Probably a cat. Sleeping and eating is all I want to do. :)
What do you like to do in your spare time other than create the media you work on?
When I'm not drawing or painting I'm either binge watching series on Netflix (currently Outlander <3) or I'm with my friends/boyfriend. Sometimes I write Fanfiction, but mostly I'm reading it. I also try to travel as often as possible and sew my own costumes when time allows it.
When did you join the fandom?
I think back in 2007. Not really sure actually. Definitely more than 10 years ago.
Follower Questions:
@floranocturna asked:
You are a very versatile artist and I have been admiring your very cool cosplays already for a while, especially your Celebrian and Celeborn are amazing! Do you sew all the cosplays yourself?
Thank you and yes, I sew them usually by myself :).
What inspires you to cosplay a specific character?
Honestly it's mostly the robes. If I like the aesthetic of a character, I want to cosplay him/her. XD Of course I also have an eye on the character and need to like him/her.
You are very ardent about being vegan. Will you tell us a little bit about your reasons and why is it important to you and should we maybe all think about how can we help to preserve nature instead of destroying it?
This is a loaded question and I'm unable to answer it with just a few words. Feel free to ignore this text if you are not interested.
As I learned that raising livestock for meat, eggs and milk generates 14,5% of global greenhouse gas emissions, the second highest source of emissions and greater than all transportation combined and that it's the leading cause of deforestation, biodiversity loss and water pollution, I knew that I had to act and change my diet, because I simply couldn't live with that knowledge and not doing something about it. And of course the killing of millions of sentinent animals every single day. The meat industry is the most powerful industry in the world and they try literally everything to make us continue to buy meat, to make it cheaper and to leave people in the dark about the consequences for our planet and our health. Here the Pharmaindustry comes in. The meat industry is their biggest customer (80% of their money is made from antibiotics they sell to farmers and animal factories) and sponsor, feeding billions of pills to animals each to day to alter their flesh. It's all about money, control and very fucked up. Like always.
If the grain that is used to feed our first world country livestock would be given to people in Africa or other third world countries where children starve to death, no one on this planet would need to suffer from hunger anymore. It's all pretty messed up and a paradox.
The only way of preserving nature in the long run is going vegan actually. I know that a lot of people don't like this thought, but that's mostly because they are misinformed (I was too, everyone is in the beginning) and fear either deficiencies or they think they can only eat vegetables and fruits. But that's not true. There are so many vegan dishes and sweets out there people are not even aware of. Oreos for example are completely vegan. A lot of junk food is. Cake, Ice cream and chocolat can be vegan too. It's all just a matter of replacing the eggs and there are plenty of alternatives. When people think about going vegan, they think about all the things they can't have anymore. Instead, think of the things you gain from it. You support the environment, save lifes and it's beneficial for your health. You are less likely to get cancer or diabetes. You don't have to give up your beloved sweets or junk food. I mostly eat the same things I ate before, just with egg replacement and almond or oat milk instead of cows milk. The only thing you have to keep in mind is B12. I take a pill everyday for it and you should too if your are vegan. If you do that you are completely safe and won't suffer any deficiencies if you live on a wholesome diet.
This wall of text may imply that I try to preach or what ever, but I simply state facts. It's up to everyone if they choose to act or not. I don't judge people for not going vegan. It takes a bit of effort, research and people will judge you for it. If you want to have more information I recommend the Netflix documentaries „What the health.“ and „Cowspiracy“. They are all based on researchable facts and explain a few statements I've given here. Also you might want to take a look at „Why we love dogs, eat pigs and wear cows“.
@beelovesbutterfly asked:
First of all, thank you for sharing your lovely artwork. What is your favourite art medium?
@themirkyking asked:
Which method of creating do you prefer? Digital or traditional, and why?
For my personal taste and fun I prefer traditional mediums. It's much more relaxing than digital art where I have to stare at a screen all day. Also I love the smell of paint and texture of paper. But for client work I definitely prefer digital since it's easier to change mistakes and I'm able to finish something faster. What makes the pay a lot better.
Thank you so much Christina for taking the time to participate in our series of fandom interviews for @dailythranduilproject. It was a pleasure having you!
Please check out Christina’s blog and her page at DeviantArt for all her awesome artwork! And if you happen to be in Cologne on May 12/13th 2018 you can go and visit her booth at the RPC Germany!
@floranocturna ^^
45 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thank u for that sweet sweet awase content, I love that boy
Thank you for liking it!!!! :O
Anon said:Do you take constructive criticism? (Not a joke lol actually curious)
Nope. Since I don’t study art, I’m not currently actively trying to become better at it, all I do is doodle whatever silly idea I have at the moment without an actual clue of what I’m doing while at it and post it cause people seem to like it when I do, concrit is literally the last thing I need. By which I mean, I already know my art could be way better than it is, but getting better at it isn’t really the reason why I’m posting it. To be honest, if I wanted someone to crit my doodles I’d sign up for an actual class to have a real teacher tell me how to get better, I wouldn’t turn to the first random anon on tumblr with no way of proving to me they have any more clue about art than I do
Anon said:Imagine this, Kirishima with really long hair
No need to imagine it when @50shadesofhq already did such an amazing job drawing him~
Anon said:Hey!!! I want to thank you for...existing 😁 Tonight I was feeling really sad and finding your art has “brought me back to life” so as to say, so thank you. Your art is incredibly good so please keep believing in yourself and your skills, and keep making beautiful pieces like you are doing now 🤗🤗🤗
Thank you!!!! So much!!!! I’m glad my stuff could help you feel better ;^;
Anon said: hi i just wanted to let you know that you're one of my favorite artists ever and you make so much good content for so many fandoms that i love like i first found your blog through haikyuu!! and then i found the bnha and now yowapeda and everything else aaaaaa i'm rambling now but whenever i see your art it makes my day and j wanted to say that by e
!!!!!!!!!!! glad you like my stuff!!!! and mostly glad you like ywpd, that fandom feels so small honestly!! :D
Anon said:Hey I just wanted to let you know that I love all of your artworks with all of my heart and it always makes my day a bit brighter to see that you have posted something new :)
Oh man thank you so so so so so so much!!!!! ;O;
Anon said:I'm not even all that familiar w awase but I'm still blown away by your drawings of them they look !!!! So good !!!
THANK!!!!! YOU!!!!!! He’ll play a nice part at some point next season, I hope you’ll end up liking him!!! ;u;
Anon said:I love seeing that kiribaku at the top of your art blog (at least on mobile??). It makes me feel so warm the moment I check your blog. (Still love the old banner too tho!!!!)
I’m glad you like it!!!!! Warm colors make me feel good so I wanted something like that on my blog :D one day I’ll change the icon too..... one day........
Anon said:I LOVE YOUR ART OK?? AND I MAY HAVE JUST SPENT TWO HOURS SCROLLING THROUGH YOUR BLOG BUT OH MY LORD IS IT WORTH IT. You are an amazing artist and I hope you have the most wonderful and brilliant of days. Ps. Thank you for giving bakubro the love he deserves PPs. Your jirou drawings make me unbelievably happy
THANK YOU!!! THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ASK I’M HAPPY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ;O;
Anon said:Do you still headcanon baku and Mina as dragon shifters or is it just Kiri at this point? (I still freaking love tiny dragon baku lol)
Yes and no! My fantasy drawings aren’t exactly telling a story, so I’m doing whatever with them - it’s not really headcanons, it’s just me playing around with any idea I find entertaining at the moment!! So yes, definitely, Baku and Mina as dragon shifters are still a thing I love a lot and I might draw more in the future! But that doesn’t exclude me drawing for the AU in a setting where only Kiri is a dragon either~
Anon said: Ur dragon Kiri half-shifted made me have this idea : if he n Baku r cuddling and he's like that and Baku feels an itch, he'll just rub himself against Kiri to do the scratching (Kiri isn't even bothered, nor complaining, Baku kinda looks like a cat when he does that and he's in l o v e)
You know anon, considering Kirishima’s quirk Bakugou could technically do that in the original universe too hahaha
Anon said:More band au bakushima pls!! 🙏 My crops are dying
Anon said:You better do the after show of the band AU or i will die. I mean... i already die with Bakugou say "pretty boy" to Kiri, but you know.... please do the after show asdfghj
Maybe soon!! I don’t exactly have a clear idea of how that plays out, but I enjoy drawing Bakugou like that so why!!! not!!!!
Anon said:I live for your art! Thank you for creating such amazing content ♥️
SOB thank you for liking my stuff and letting me know you do!!!!
Anon said:HOOOLLLYYYYY SHIT, THAT SKETCH OF BAKUGOU W THE HELLA EYELINER AND THE TATTOOS??? I AM SHOOK
GLAD YOU LIKED HIM!!!
Anon said:Oh mamma the way you draw Kiri’s forearms! Le swoon 😍😍😍
!!!!!! He’s a buff boy after all!! :D
Anon said:Are you okay with fans coloring your lineart, or does it bother you? (Not with the intention of posting anywhere, just for fun and maybe to submit it back to you later) I know how you feel about altering your work, but what's the drill for this specifically?
I don’t mind but you have to promise me you’re not posting them anywhere - if it’s just for your personal entertainment then it’s fine, I can’t really stop you anyway, but I really don’t want them anywhere online.
Anon said:Hello! I wanna say your bakugou and kirishima comics are adorable! I wanted to ask, do you think Bakugou would be as open with showing his soft and mushy emotions for kirishima around the others like in your comics? Like how he was okay with snugs on the couch, you don’t think he’d want to be more privet?
Sure, why not? Bakugou’s never hidden his feelings in the manga, nor has he ever felt embarrassed by them! He’s a bit awkward in showing affection I guess, but to me it feels more because he isn’t used to it than because he wants to hide it - if he were to start dating Kirishima he’d definitely have no problems with letting everyone know they’re in a relationship of that sort, I think :D well, it’s just my interpretation of it anyway haha
Anon said:Your art is just so beautiful, Im iN LOVE I CANTNWKWISIWIKW PLS KEEP DRAWING
I CAN TRY !!!!!!!! Thank you so much for the support!!!!
Anon said:Do you ever get that feeling when you have a ship and you see art for it and suddenly you get hit with a "oh fuck I really love them" cause that happens every times you post kiribaku ! I always get butterflies in my stomach when I see your art, you make the cutest scenarios and you keep their personalities right it never seems ooc. You honestly make the best comics/art I'm so glad you're in the bnha fandom
Oh my god thank you so much!!! ;A; sob
Anon said:you've heard of jiroukami but have you considered: jiroushido
Yup! I’ve also drawn them in the past!! They’re in my MinaJirou tag :D
Anon said:your band au is officially my favourite thing on this site i love it and i love you thankyou
Thank you so much holy heck!!!! ;O;
Anon said:Your art is so cute and makes me smile everytime I see it! Thank you for always making my day better!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I’m!!!!!!!!!!! Glad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:I’m so gay for your art it’s so fucking sexy dude
Oh my g od are you sure the word you meant to use is sexy I’m ??? !!!!
Anon said:Consider,,,,, bakugou with glasses
I did draw that in the past!!!
Anon said:pssst fran have u heard that in bnha light novel baku is actually scared of ghost story???
Seriously??? :O is there a translation for that part anywhere online?? :O :O
#fran answers#i just realized the answer about the concrit sounds a bit snappy#that wasn't my intention at all#all i mean is that im a fragile baby that gives herself strength to keep posting and drawing#through knowing this is a place for sketches and doodles of dubious-to-low quality#i don't really need to change that or put pressure on myself to try and be good#when i know i'm really not#the moment i'll wish to change something in my style i'll look it up and slowly work to fix whatever problem i found#meanwhile im definitely not posting to be criticized over something i never even studied seriously#so there's that#anonymous
162 notes
·
View notes
Text
SGZ Anniversary - Cassie and the Comic
The big one, the origin story!!!! And honestly one of my favourite memories to look back on. :’D I’ll be talking about both the idea itself and the evolution of Cassie’s character in what is a BEHEMOTH of a text post, so here we go!
While July 19th, 2015 is the official origin day of SGZ, it started a bit prior to that. I have this story already somewhat explained on the blog’s FAQ page, but I might as well reiterate it here:
SGZ started as an idea in the summer of 2015 after my buddy Laura showed me two webcomics: Paranatural by Zack Morrison, and Vibe by Dan Ciurczak (two comics I highly recommend, please go read them!). I loved how vibrant and beautiful their artwork was despite how different their stories were, and how wonderful the writing and humour was. My two biggest creative passions have always been visual art and writing, but ironically this was what really flicked the switch in my head to actually try comics, the literal combination of the two. Why I didn’t start sooner will forever be a mystery to me, but I suppose a lack of exposure to comics as a kid had something to do with it. Better late than never, right?
The specific launch day of July 19th is an homage to not only the creation of the idea but of the main protagonist, Cassie. After thinking “hey, I could do this!” I started wondering what I should make a comic about. While working at my retail job (on the slowest day in existence), I began to make a list of things that I liked or wanted to write a story about, and stars / astrology was one of them. I had always loved that aspect of mythology, and my affection for stars is a mystery to no one.
I worked at what was effectively a Blockbuster clone in my hometown (RIP Cherry Hill Video) and we had scrap pieces of paper that we made from old movie facings, so the first ever notes and doodles for this series exist on these scraps. I’ve still got quite a few of them, but they got a bit scattered when I moved for college. I’m hoping the rest are at my house somewhere.
I got the idea of a girl with a star in her eye, and called it the Starglass. And, well, the idea went from there! I started researching all of the zodiac signs and symbols, and drew the first (digital) drawing of Cassie when I got back home that day. Which, looked like this:
Seeing this again is not only weird and oddly nostalgic but it’s a testament to where my artistic sensibilities were prior to going to animation school. The idea for SGZ happened mere months before I was thrown into that 3-year fray of insanity so the evolution is pretty odd in places, especially how my knowledge of shape language, anatomy, etc. evolved and how my style adapted to that. I had almost NEVER drawn humans prior to going to college, so a lot of the art for this series deals with my inability to do so at the start. ^^’ The awkward phase, if you will. And as such, it is the first story idea I had that primarily focused on humans.
Looking back on it, Cassie’s character in terms of personality was pretty different than what it is now, but from a visual standpoint there’s (surprisingly) a lot that stayed. The basic idea of her hair stayed, right down to the double ponytail and orange clasps. Her freckles, eye colour and general face shape too, even if that ended up modified after solidifying her character later.
Her main colour was always red, in fact after making the headshot I remember having NO IDEA what to do for the rest of her body, so it just ended up being RED. Then I added the blue for the contrast, but I still wasn’t happy with it at the time (a perhaps subconscious origin for her blue pants though, lol). I also find amusement in the fact that my current concept for her mother Nora has her wearing blue flats much like these.
Based on the notes I have and what I remember, Cassie was older at this point (like 15 or 16 probably) and seemed to be a lot more sarcastic (this is a norm for a lot of my characters, trust me). xD Some of the first character interactions I ever wrote largely involved Cassie being sassy to one of the signs, back when a few of them were being over dramatic (looking at you SCORPIO). I cackled reading those interactions again now that my characters have changed so much. They’re not well written at all but they still let me look back to that time with fondness. :’D
What is also interesting is the progression of her name, or the fact that she didn’t have one right at the start. My earliest notes have simply Starglass or SG whenever I wrote dialogue. I started trying to think of a name, and contrary to popular belief, settling on Cassie actually had nothing to do with Cassiopeia. Though I do really enjoy the irony of that. xD It started with Cass, which could be short for either Cassandra or Cassidy, and I ended up going with Cassidy. I then changed it to Cassie, as I find the -ie suffix makes it a lot cuter. I am biased though, my name ends with it too, aha. There is a note that spells it as Cassi and for the life of me I cannot determine if that was a typo or not, but when I write fast I miss letters sometimes. The nickname of “Star” was one the table for a while too, and now that Star VS exists it’s even funnier. I specifically recall my mother telling me that she was going to suggest Star on the Facebook post I had made for the art at the time, but thought maybe it was too obvious. She was right, though this idea lives on in the nicknames that the signs end up giving Cassie later on, my favourite being “Little Star”.
While development for the story and characters started right away, it got a much welcomed jumpstart at the beginning of my second year at animation school. We were given a character design project that would span the entire year, and would require a story concept to complete all of the assignments. We were told this fact in first year to give us time to prepare over the summer, and I had just pulled an all-nighter to finish an assignment that day, but upon hearing this news I was not tired at all. Character design was already my favourite class, but this put it over the top. That beautiful feeling of inspiration that hits you is the BEST and in that moment nothing else mattered. Not even my fatigue, which I promptly dealt with the next day.
I used this as an opportunity to spend time developing the designs and story progression of all the characters, while getting marks for it at the same time! This is largely the reason I was able to launch the comic a few months after completing that year of school, as it ended up giving me full-sized references, colour schemes, and a much better idea of the story as a whole. Based on when my school years took place, I can actually track the progression of the characters pretty well through the artistic skill upgrade I was getting too.
The progression is pretty wild honestly, especially between 2015 and 2016:
(oh god these are so old help me)
(these aren’t all of them either but I did my best jdhkfhsjkfhskjf)
From 2016 onwards I had the basic idea of her, so her colours stayed more or less the same once I actually added them. Cassie’s hair was one of the things that required a lot more iterations. I had her general idea down for a while, but when it came to making the character pack of her for my character design class, I remember having to sit down and actually figure out how her hair would work, structurally and otherwise, for that High Quality Refinement™ that was required of the project. Her older drawings had the part in her hair be in the middle, and that posed the problem of covering her eyes too much. If she was a more reserved character in any way this could have worked, but nah. I knew from the beginning she was going to be an outwardly eccentric child, one I wish I could have been when I was growing up.
Now for anyone that knows me as both a huge nerd and an artist, when it comes to fantasy stuff I LOVE armour. Absolutely love it. You see it everywhere in the things I make both inside and outside of SGZ, and I adore making themed costumes based on that (see my Feather Knights series for the most extreme example of this ever, ahahaha). So, it stands to reason that I would do the same for Cassie at some point, and I did!
There was a particular focus on a helmet for a while too, whole plot points in fact! This helmet was, story wise, a long-standing plot point that proved difficult to change once the focus shifted. The initial idea was that the helmet belonged to Cassie’s science teacher (who is still a minor character in this as of now) and he gave it to her knowing its significance to the Starglass, thus establishing a sort of connection between Cassie’s normal life on Earth and the supernatural shenanigans that happen on the Astral Plane. The night she brings it home, she discovers that this little friend laid dormant inside:
This is Flicker. A character I’ve actually never revealed to anyone prior to now but hey, why not? The idea of Cassie having a spirit companion certainly didn’t come out of left field for me, but I wasn’t entirely sure how this character would appear, or what dynamic they would have with Cassie. I didn’t have pets bigger than a hamster growing up, so the idea of Cassie having a potential dog or cat companion would be new territory based on my own experiences.
Flicker, as they are right now, acts as a sort of sensor for spirits that are roaming loose on Earth, and alerts Cassie to them... even if she’s not always up for a spirit hunt. They do have a backstory associated with how they appear and what their purpose is in the overall context of the world, but that isn’t revealed until much later in the story. For now Flicker is a cute little friend that cannot say much, but is devoted to protecting things, especially the Starglass. Luckily they still made the cut when it came to the helmet idea, and you should be meeting them officially pretty soon in the comic! :D
While the initial problem was getting any sort of cohesive look to the helmet or any other armour in terms of concept, I found as the story developed along with Cassie’s design, both her hair and her star sweater ended up being her two most “iconic” qualities aside from her eye, and using armour would have covered that up.
On top of that, Cassie didn’t really end up being the type of character that would use armour, as one might expect from a character that has to fight and defend things a lot. She’s one to do things a little differently, and both her and the signs discover that, well, different works! It wasn’t a matter of her physical strength for the majority of the problems she faces, but rather strength of heart, and that’s a very personal note for me to touch on with this character. As such, nothing about an armour concept ever came out of the sketch phase:
It still makes for really interesting ideas though, so I’m sure I can work these into something else I’m working on. :’D Knowing myself, I’ll find a way. (The wings are VERY Cardcaptors though lol)
What did stay, however, were her swords:
She had at least one sword at the very beginning of this concept, but it eventually evolved into two. I find it interesting that sun, moon and star symbols were always present, regardless of what iteration these swords went through. Their official names are the Sun Star and Moon Star Swords respectively. Aside from the few doodles here and there for the zodiac weapons, this was the first appearance of any kind of fantasy weapon in SGZ. I can confirm that Cassie and the signs were going to have weapons from the get-go though, this IS something I made after all. xD
I think I also need to mention the main influences for this series, as the love for those things is very evident in my work, from the visuals to the storytelling and everything in between. Aside from my general interest in fantasy topics such as mythology and astrology, here’s a list including (but not limited to) the series that inspired the making of SGZ:
Kirby, Steven Universe, Harry Potter, Avatar: The Last Airbender & The Legend of Korra, Cardcaptor Sakura / Cardcaptors, Kim Possible, Danny Phantom, and pretty much any other show I’ve watched about surviving school while going on crazy adventures. That stuff may be cliche now but I’ll be damned if I don’t love it still.
I grew up with some of these and the rest are new, but they’re all near and dear to my heart for many reasons. I’m happy that I can put that love into something I’ve made, and share that story with the world.
I know I’ve got a lot more ranting about this story to do in general and the comic is still going, but I want to say some special thanks to some of SGZ’s biggest supporters:
Laura, Eleanor, and my classmates and teachers at Seneca College. This comic wouldn’t exist without you. <3
I’ll be honest, working on this series got me through some of the toughest years of my life so far, and this was one of the first times where something I made actually came to fruition in some way, and had a genuine development period that I can look back on. I’ve grown a lot as both a person and an artist since then, and doing this look back in time really solidified that for me. I have a cast of characters that I love, and now I get to tell their story. So if you’ve stayed till the end in this gigantic post, thank you. I don’t know where this story will lead me, but with any luck it’ll be somewhere in the stars. Thanks for reading, friends. <3
#Starglass Zodiac#SGZ#SGZ Anniversary#origin story#Cassie#development#character development#story development
9 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
alexanderhamiltonisthebottom
We've got the Dreamer's Disease
duntmindme
(۶ꈨຶ ꎁ ꈨຶ )۶!
demis-army
Demi.