thinking about ren. thinking about how he's not the self principled, righteous person others think he is. thinking of how he adores his mask of anonymity, because he doesnt care for himself as a person. as a person, he's whatever other people want him to be. to use as a punching bag, to use a shoulder to cry on, to use as someone to rant to, to use as a friend. he doesnt oppose to it unless its directly affecting other people negatively. but joker; joker is everything about him that he's not, in a sense. a strong backbone, a leader, a strategically sound, skillful person uncaring of outside opinions. someone that follows their heart with perseverance regardless of the consequences. ren IS that person, he wants to be that person, but he cant fathom that being him as a person. he is glad he can live himself as a second person as joker, but glad to be able to stay in his safe, conforming box as ren.
thinking of how he hates society's norm of "minding your own business" and not interfering with other people's upsetting scenarios. he lived his life feeling that way but keeping it in and just keeping to himself, not complaining, not saying a thing. despite that, he knows he hates it, and because of the way others put him down for it, they both tell him he needs to fix his pickiness on morals, and he also repeats it to himself
the love he's recieving; the love he gets from being a people-pleaser---sometimes it humiliates him, it degrades and defiles him. it disgusts him--But not disgust at the person sending love, at himself. For tricking people, for acting how they want him to despite not believing a word he says. despite him actually being rebellious. he is disgusted by his own act of pretending to conform, but he cant defy it.
And once the world is bright, when the world is good; He'll only be left behind as an afterthought. Someone erased from society's memory.
he only yearns for the ideals of other; he wishes to see the way they do, to conform, but he is unable. He wants to fit in, but never can. he burnt his individuality, his opinions, his feelings and his rebellion to an ash, an ash that takes the form of Arsene. the very spirit of his heart, from the ashes of the identity he left behind.
he is unable to understand what love really is, if it's real, if it's honest; if he even actually feels it. this is why he's so monotone even when confessing to his love interests; he still doesnt quite understand. what love is supposed to be, the different kinds of love, how one experiences falling in love. Such a complex is explained by lack of love presented towards him. a lack of attention, of praise, and most of all, of any care. family, friends, anything.
one of the most inspiring parts of his story is how he learns to experience love, from familial to platonic, and understands it; how he uses it and lives by it.
A lynch mob is a group of people to lynch others. The religious society is the self righteous, conforming society. The phantom thieves are the lynch mob; despite not actually HANGING people obviously, it stands as a metaphor for them actively punishing the poor actions of others while the rest of society is against the meddling, seeing nothing wrong with the corruption. in a religious world, joker is portrayed as SATAN. he actively KILLS GOD. to society, he is an absolute evil; someone only there for the joy of destroying others. to himself, its only righteous punishment. stopping corrupted actions of others. like how satan is seen to be truly evil for his betrayal to god (think about some of things god did for a min. like tell ppl to kill their first born sons for him, hitting people with a huge tsunami......) and for being the ruler of hell, without realizing that satan stands for the PUNISHMENT of those who go to hell. hes not there to ruin others life, ren is there to save them by exorcising the evil. despite the way society treats him as person, despite them going directly against his attempt at helping them, he doesn't let it break him. he keeps fighting for people even when they hate him for doing it.
He's putting his ego, his self acceptance in conformity, the mask he's perfectly crafted as someone that anyone can like to the ground. he's putting his greed, his greed to have the ideals of all others, to understand society, along with it. He's finally himself, and he can announce that to his family, to those who wanted him to conform proudly and unafraid, uncaring of their opinion on who he is.
with a newly, fully solid grasp on rebellion, he will stand with his hell, as satan, punishing the evil until the bitter end of it. So he pleads that just for this time, until this end, that the world will go along with him, with their feelings; their own desires to conform, to please others, ripped out of them. To have their original feelings; their values, opinions and lifestyles revealed from the depths of within themselves and shown to the world. These feelings that they were once unashamed of, before being taught to conform, the feelings from childhood.
and at last, with the person he now is, he will finally be remembered. noted by others, and seen. But now seen as who he is instead of who he acted as. Not someone serious, not someone only there to please others; someone entirely unrecognizable. Someone who has come to complete terms with their own rebellion.
could u tell all of this was from bitter choco decoration by syudou?
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A Deal
Summary: Riri Williams, a brilliant young scientist, made a deal with Namor, the sea god, to bring back the queen in exchange for something she would regret. Riri is conflicted because she knows that the deal will cause more bloodshed.
a/n: I love the twisted tales especially the princess Tiana version so it's based on that. and I wanted to push myself to 3k words for a one-shot. and now I am stuck on what to do next, please send some advice. This took me forever sorry for the wait!
Tag gang: @lppriceisright @blacksapphhicmaddonna @mal-urameshi @s0lam33y
Riri was watching the news, which was rare for a young woman to do. She couldn’t help herself, Shuri was in the news company with her mother. It was spring break, and Riri took her chance to escape MIT and return to the windy city. Riri played with her spoon around her cereal bowl as the news anchor continued talking about the small nation and their talks on building a better relationship with the outside world.
So he did keep his part of the deal Riri thought as she continued to watch. It was a little unsettling to see the once-dead queen moving and talking like what happened to her never happened. Shuri looks stiff as she always does in front of the camera. Riri recalled how the princess never thought she would get a chance at the throne.
Riri turned her attention to her phone. As if that would stop her mind from thinking about Shuri. Riri looked at the shark teeth bracelet wrapped around her wrist. Could she have bargained for a better deal? Should’ve she said no? Could she live with the fact many warriors would have to die because of her mistake? The thoughts rolled in her head as she remembered that night.
Riri couldn’t sleep, who could when the Queen sacrificed to save Riri’s? The scientist walked around the once busy city, now quiet to show respect for the fallen Queen. Everything was flooded except for the high building. The small mom-and-pop shops were quickly swallowed by Namor and his powers. Now thinking back Riri relaized how stupid she was adventuring out in the night without a Dora by her side. Riri was led by the guilt that she caused the queen’s death. Even though no one had said it was her fault, not even the princess. Is that what I’m good for coming in and ruining people’s lives? Riri thought as she forced herself not to think about the incident. The screaming, the stickness of blood, nor the cold nights where Riri would crept out from her bedroom as she watched from the staircase the small girl could see her mother trying and failing to quiet her cries. Riri’s feet found herself near a small cove. She didn’t know why, but she was draw to it, like moth is to a flame.
“I knew that would bring you out,” Riri body froze, not daring to move. She had to be in a nightmare she would wake up to find she was in her chambers. Yes, riri thought this is all a bad nightmare. The more Riri looked the more Namor became. Her mind couldn’t lie to herself, Namor was there and he was very much real.
“Very bold of you to come to the scene of the crime,” Riri spoke. Even though her body shook in fear her mouth couldn’t help but bite. The sea god just stared at her, like a cat would with a scared mouse. He was playing with until he was ready to eat her, “Not really. Only foolish people would come to the scene of the crime. Thinking that they would be safe from the suspect, no?”
Riri grit her teeth. She had nothing to say to him. She had no advantage and maybe it was her pride, but she would be damn if she let him see how scared she was before she was killed.
“I could kill you right now afterall,” He spoke, “No one would miss you. And I finally get to do what I want.” Riri could only stare at him. She will not go out like a scared child, not like before.
“Or we could make a deal,” Namor stated.
“Why would I make a deal with you?” Riri growled out. Her heart slammed against her chest, but she continued to act like the god could not kill her in a second flat.Namor for his part was somewhat pleased the young girl didn’t beg and plea for him not to kill her.
“Because I have a deal that would make us both very happy, scientist,” He said. Like any scientist Riri wanted to know, her protection and preservation be damned.
“I’m listening,” Riri whispered still rooted in upon the hill. Riri wasn’t stupid enough to go closer inside the cove where Namor stood.
“I can bring the Queen back to life and not kill you,” Namor said. Riri narrows her eyes at him. Namor was unfazed, his jade jewelry sparkled underneath the moonlight.
“That's impossible, “ Riri said. Once someone is dead they stay dead. That’s the principle of biology organisms have to die. Namor’s eyes stared back to Riri’s soul, “You of all people should by now that what’s impossible can be possible, scientist.”
Riri bit her lip at the mere thought of bringing Queen Ramonda back to life did sound impossible. What other choice did Riri have? Shuri was all but working herself to death and planning to kill Namor her enemy. Who knows how much bloodshed, all because of me, Riri thought.
“What do you want from me?” Riri asked. Riri would do anything to stop the hurt that Shuri was experiencing. Namor smirked, he knew Riri’s weak spot for the princess. He didn’t think the scientist would break so fast to protect her.
Namor said, “Take this.”
Riri examined the shark tooth bracelet, “I’ll call you when I’m ready to take in my favor.”
Riri took a deep breath as if she was just woke up from a nightmare. The cercal in her mouth now tasted like mushy ash. It took everything in her not to vomit, but everything was back to normal.
Now Riri was back in Chicago for summer break. Her mother and Sharon refused to let Riri stay cooped up in MIT, As Riri sat in front of the TV in her Chicago home, cereal in hand, the devastating news of Queen Ramonda's passing sent shockwaves through her. The announcement echoed in the silence of the room, each word heavy with sorrow and disbelief. Queen Ramonda, a symbol of strength and wisdom, gone in the blink of an eye. And there was a god that was laughing at Riri’s fate.
A lump formed in Riri's throat as she struggled to process the news. How could this happen? It felt like a cruel twist of fate, a nightmare unfolding before her eyes. And the realization that Wakanda would be closed off, enveloped in mourning.
Oh Shuri. Riri thought as she couldn’t image what the woman was doing now. Losing your whole family, that can change a person.
H-how could this happen ? So it was all for nothing? Riri quickly ran out the house to the nearst sea port. Riri was angry-no pissed off- she was if being Namor little plaything that would make anything for him as along Queen Ramonda lives or rather lived.
“Namor,” Riri growled out to the sea. Riri waited until the Sea God came to her.
“What is it?” Namor asked as his eyes gazed down at Riri.
"The queen is dead, was it you who killed her?" Riri's voice was barely a whisper, disbelief coloring her words as she searched Namor's expression for any hint of deceit. If anything he looked like a cat who was playing with his food. Letting his poor prey think they are free before he took bite.
Namor's demeanor remained unchanged, his gaze steady upon Riri. "No, it wasn't me," he reiterated, his tone devoid of emotion. "But rest assured, her death serves our interests nonetheless."
Riri's mind raced with a flurry of thoughts, trying to make sense of Namor's words. So it was really a simple sickness? No big bad that took out the Queen.
The uncertainty gnawed at Riri's insides, leaving her feeling more lost and confused than ever before. Namor came closer to her, “Even the Queen has died. I’m not done with our deal little scientist.”
Riri's heart sank as Namor's words cut through the fog of her confusion. Despite the relief that it wasn't some nefarious plot that took Queen Ramonda's life, the weight of Namor's reminder about their deal weighed heavily on her.
Even in the midst of mourning, even with the uncertainty of Queen Ramonda's passing, Namor's agenda remained unchanged. His reminder was like a cold slap in the face, a stark reminder of the dangerous game she had unwittingly become a part of.
With a steely resolve, Riri squared her shoulders and met Namor's gaze head-on. "I don't know what you expect from me," she said, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging within her. "But I won't be your pawn any longer. I won't let you use me to further your own agenda."
Namor's expression remained unreadable, his gaze piercing as he studied her. "We shall see," he replied cryptically, before turning and disappearing into the depths of the sea.
As Riri watched him go, still feeling a sense of lost but she knew she need find a way to get out this stupid deal or die trying.
“You should do this,” Sharon exclaimed as she pulled her phone closer to Riri’s face. Riri almost becoming crossed eyes by her sister’s phone so close her face. Riri pulled herself back as she read the message, it seemed like the outreached are looking for the windy city’s brightest to help learn and develop technology that would help the city out. Would that put Shuri in more danger? Riri thought as she looked at the post. Would Namor get wind of this? Would he back out of the deal they made last summer ago? Riri knew how petty that mermaid can be always changing at the last second.
Riri scrunched her face like she was in pain, “I’m not so sure, Sharon.”
Sharon, not understanding what her sister had gone through last summer. Sharon might not be as smart as her sister but she knew something happened. Sharon could remember how happy and bright eyed Riri was once was accepted to MIT. Riri all but stuffed her three suitcases with all her stuff. Overjoyed with the fact she was going to her dream school. But ever since coming back to Chicago. It was like Riri reverted back to when the incident of them losing their father and Riri’s only best friend, Natalie.
“Com’on,” Sharon started, “What happened to girl that liked to prove everyone wrong?”
It was as if Riri strung herself even smaller. What happen to my sister Sharon thought as the pair fell into silence. Riri could only give a small smile. Not wanting to burden her younger sister on what happens when you prove the wrong people wrong. It has consequence and sometimes those consequence people get hurt.
“I think you should apply,” Sharon said taking her sister’s hand, “It’ll get you out the house plus you’ll make friends.”
Riri bit her lip, conflicted by her desires and her sense of duty. She knew her sister was trying to help, but the pull to see Shuri in person was overwhelming. The more she thought about it, the more she found herself creating loopholes in her reasoning. Maybe she could just go once, she reasoned with herself, just to see Shuri, and then drop out from the program.
But deep down, Riri knew that wasn't the right path. She had worked so hard to earn her place in the program, and abandoning it would be a betrayal of her own potential. Yet, the allure of meeting Shuri again, even though the princess wouldn’t remember her. As she sat there, torn between her desires and her responsibilities, Riri's mind raced with possibilities. What if she could find a way to balance both? Could she attend the program and still manage to meet Shuri without jeopardizing the Queen’s life?
Lost in thought, Riri didn't notice her sister watching her intently, waiting for her to make a decision. Finally, with a determined look in her eyes, Riri made up her mind. She would find a way to meet Shuri, but she would do it on her terms, without sacrificing her commitment to the program.
With renewed resolve, Riri stood up, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead. Her chest pounded with the desire to Shuri again, “Okay I’ll give it a try.”
Sharon squealed as she placed her full body on her sister’s, “You’ll get I just know it.”
It turns out it was the application was easy, well at least for Riri’s case anyway. She was one of the lucky twelve that would help improve in outreach program. Riri thought she would be fine with sneaking glances of Shuri. The princess placed herself on the second level where some of the applicants that had a focus on medical field, while the lower levels where engineering happen. Riri not wanting to look like a stalker continued her focus on metal skeleton of the robots she and her partner was working on.
Shuri couldn't shake off the strange feeling that she had met Riri before, despite not recalling any specific encounter. Which would be impossible after all this was the “first” outing as the princess.
“What are you looking at?” Aneka asked as she watched the princess gaze down over the small balcony. Shuri quickly backed away from the bar, “Nothing.”
Aneka ever the quick learner, “Ah, that’s why, huh?” The warrior’s eyes glanced at Riri, who was deep into her work.
“Why don’t you talk to her?” Aneka asked. Shuri gave scoffed as if she could walk up to the young woman and say what exactly? Shuri’s anxiety shot up at the mere thought of the scenario.
“Yeesh,”Aneka commented, “Its that bad huh? I know I’ll help.”
Shuri shook her head,”You really don’t have to do that, Aneka.”
“Of course I do,” Aneka said. “As older gay. It’s like passing down the torch.”
Shuri sighed what else did she have to lose? “Ok fine.”
“Great,” Aneka said as she lightly pushed the princess to walk down the straits. Shuri quickly regretted her decision as she walked closer to Riri. What made matters worse was the fact Aneka quickly left the princess along with Riri.
“Um,” Riri started as she watched Shuri looking at her. “Can I help you, your highest? That’s what I call you right?”
Shuri was panicking her mouth decided it would be a great time to not make any noise whatsoever. Shuri continued to stare at her, causing Riri to feel uneasy.
“Ok, well,” Riri said as she gathered her stuff. “It was great seeing you, your grace? So I’ll just leave.”
Shuri could only groan as she watched the beauty walk away from her. Why am I so weird? Shuri thought as she continued to watch Riri move to a different side of the building.
After a couple of tries, Shuri was able to gather the courage to follow Riri out to the park that lay before the outreach center.
“You can come closer y’know,” Riri stated to her as she watched Shuri sit beside her. Shuri’s throat decided to shut down. She looked into Riri's doe eyes, she found herself drawn to her in a way she couldn't quite explain.
"So?" Riri started, breaking the silence. She hadn't planned on meeting the princess again, especially considering the trouble she had caused her in the past.
"Do you come here often?" Shuri blurted out, immediately regretting her choice of words. She mentally scolded herself for such a clumsy attempt at conversation with the captivating woman in front of her.
Riri smirked at Shuri's awkwardness. "You mean the park?"
Shuri shuffled her feet, feeling a flush of embarrassment. Smooth, very smooth, Shuri, she thought to herself.
"Amongst other things," Shuri replied, trying to recover from her stumble.Riri couldn't help but chuckle at Shuri's endearing attempt at flirting. Despite the princess's slip-ups, there was something charming about her earnestness. Maybe, Riri thought, this encounter wouldn't be as awkward as she had feared.
As their conversation continued, Riri found herself opening up to Shuri in a way she hadn't anticipated. Despite her initial reservations, there was something about Shuri that put her at ease, allowing her to let down her guard and just be herself. As they talked, Riri couldn't help but notice how Shuri's demeanor softened, her rigid facade giving way to genuine warmth and interest. It was as if they were two puzzle pieces finally finding their perfect fit, their connection growing stronger with each passing moment.
Before they knew it, hours had flown by, the park growing dimmer as the sun began to set on the horizon. Yet, neither Riri nor Shuri seemed to notice, lost in their own little world of conversation and laughter. As they bid each other goodbye, Riri couldn't shake off the feeling of excitement bubbling inside her. Meeting Shuri had been everything she had hoped for and more, filling her with a sense of purpose and possibility she hadn't felt in a long time.
As Namor watched Riri and Shuri from a distance, his mind churned with schemes and strategies. He knew he needed to assert his dominance and remind Riri of the consequences of defying him. But he also understood the delicate balance he had to maintain, especially considering the potential repercussions of his actions on Wakanda and its people.
Kidnapping Shuri was out of the question. Not only would it risk sparking a civil war and exposing his underwater kingdom to the surface world, but it would also only further solidify Riri's determination to oppose him. No, Namor needed a more subtle approach, one that would strike fear into Riri's heart without causing irreparable harm.
As he pondered his next move, Namor's gaze hardened with determination. He needed to remind Riri of his power and authority, to show her that defying him would only lead to pain and suffering. And he knew just the way to do it. With a grim smile, Namor disappeared beneath the waves, his mind already formulating a plan to make Riri regret ever crossing him. For the young scientist would soon learn that challenging a deity was a grave mistake, one that would come with dire consequences.
The fate of both Riri and Shuri hung precariously in the balance.
"So how was it?" Aneka asked as she watched the princess coming back to the lab. Shuri felt like she was on cloud nine. Even though it wasn't a date, Shuri couldn't help but think about Riri's face and the way her laughter had filled the air.
"It was... amazing," Shuri replied, unable to contain the smile that spread across her face. "I don't know, there's just something about her."
Aneka raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk playing at the corners of her lips. "Oh, I see. So, was it love at first sight then?"
Shuri could feel her body flushed at the suggestion, quickly shaking her head. "No, no, it wasn't like that. It's just... she's different, you know? There's a spark, a connection."
Aneka chuckled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Well, whatever it is, I'm glad to see you happy, Shuri. You deserve it."
Shuri's smile widened at her friend's words, grateful for the support. "Thanks, Aneka. You're the best."
As they returned to their work, Shuri couldn't shake off the feeling of excitement that bubbled inside her. Meeting Riri had been unexpected, but it felt like the beginning of something special. And as she immersed herself in her research, Shuri found herself eagerly anticipating their next encounter.
Meanwhile, Riri couldn't stop thinking about her time with Shuri at the park. The memory of their conversation and laughter filled her mind, bringing a warmth to her heart that she hadn't felt in a long time.
Meeting Shuri again had reignited a spark within her, a desire to explore and connect with someone who understood her in a way no one else did. But amidst the excitement, there was also a twinge of guilt that nagged at Riri's conscience. She couldn't forget the deal she had made with Namor, the sea God's ominous presence looming over her like a dark cloud.
As Riri wrestled with her conflicting emotions, a knock on her door snapped her out of her thoughts. She glanced up to see her sister standing in the doorway with a curious expression on her face.
"Hey, Riri, you okay?" Sharon asked, concern lacing her voice. "You seem kind of out of it."
Riri forced a smile, pushing aside her worries for the moment. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... thinking about stuff."
Sharon nodded understandingly, stepping into the room and plopping down on the bed beside Riri. "Well, if you ever need to talk about anything, you know I'm here for you, right?"
Riri felt a surge of gratitude for her sister's unwavering support. "Thanks, Sharon. I really appreciate it."
As they chatted about their classes and upcoming projects, Riri couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that lingered in the back of her mind. She knew she couldn't ignore the deal she had made with Namor, but she also couldn't bear the thought of causing any more harm to Shuri or her people.
Lost in her thoughts, Riri barely noticed when her bracelet tighten around her wrist. That could only mean one thing, Namor was calling her. Panic rose in Riri’s chest, what did he want now? I improve the sun for his people. What more could he want from me? Riri thought as the shark bracelet almost cut off her circulation. Riri could only sigh fully understanding that she would never be free from him until she died.
“I’m going for a bit. I’ll be right back,” Riri said as she ran out of the house. She had to go to a special meeting with a Sea God. The seaport smelt like dead fish and salt. Riri walked across the boardwalk. Now she has to wait for him, for some reason, Namor gets a sick enjoyment of letting Riri sit with her thoughts. The mermaid would pop out of nowhere scaring the young woman.
"Riri?" The young woman turned her head to Shuri. The princess was wearing a battle suit with the same face of shock at seeing her.
"Shuri?" Riri exclaimed, her heart racing with dread, where was Namor? Riri thought the young woman couldn’t see the deity anywhere. "What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Shuri stated as she came closer to Riri. “It isn’t safe here. You need to leave.”
“Leave?” Riri repeated. “If anyone needs to leave is you? You can’t be seen here!”
Before Riri could say anything else to Shuri, a huge crash of water poured down on them. Riri gave out a short yelp. As the water wrapped around her ankles, Riri twisted and turned. Riri’s nail tried to grip onto something that would stop the water from taking her under.
“SHURI!” Riri cried out as she swallowed the water.
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