#I also hate medical professionals and mental health professionals | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jellojelli · 8 months

Note

Hi! I hope you’re well❤️

Would you mind writing how Luocha and Welt (and anyone else you want to include) would react to the reader seeming like they’re having a hard time but trying to hide it?

I crave the angst 🤌

*a/n: ah a fellow angst enjoyer*

Luocha

Luocha is an observant man, it comes with being a merchant he thinks. So he could easily see your late nights, the tower of responsibilities, and expectations slowly, but surely, consuming and crushing you under their weight. And no amount of I'm fine's and don't worry about it's were easing his concern for you

It was easy to see in your paling complexion, the bags under your eyes, and the overall feeling of exhaustion that surrounded you, that you were most definitely not as okay as you claimed to be. Luocha hates to be a worrywart about you, hates hovering and feeling like he's taking your freedom and peace away when he tries to subtly pester you about your health. But everyday that you keep your burdens to yourself and he sees you add more on, Luocha is closer to intervening and putting a stop to whatever it is that you're doing to yourself.

He hates that you’re not relying on him. Luocha thought he made it clear that he would always make himself available for you. Especially if you needed him to care for you or help when you couldn’t handle things anymore. He won’t say anything, again he hates hovering, but he wants you to run into his arms and admit you need help, that he can help you. But he lets it go so he doesn’t hurt your pride

It's only when he passes by your room one night that he realizes he should have stepped in the moment he noticed you overworking yourself

He could hear your broken sobs from behind the door to your room for the night. Luocha has never reacted so quickly than in that moment. He practically launched himself into the room and took you in his arms, his normally calm and placid demeanor gone as he tries to calm both you and himself down

He holds you as close as he can to himself, stroking your back to try and calm your cries. His heart hurts as you choke out sobs and small apologies. When you finally calm down he pulls away just enough to grab a tissue to help clean you up

Luocha will take it upon himself to nurse you back to health and finally let go of his hesitance and step in to stop you on your path to self destruction. He will be incredibly straightforward with you after you've had a good nights rest and a proper breakfast. He's deadly serious when he says you are going to rest up and not do a single chore, errand, or anything regarding work until he, a somewhat medical professional, deems you healthy enough to go back. And if you even try to lift a finger Luocha will wrestle you back into the bed and monitor you until you learn to take it easy

Luocha also makes you promise two things to him. No more taking on more than you realistically can, and no more trying to hide your pain and struggles from him. He wouldn't know what he would do if you ever got seriously ill because of your habits, or aeon's forbid, pass out or collapse because of it. He's sure he can nurse you back to health, but he would rather have his lover always healthy and never be in a situation where he has to see you in such a way

Welt

Welt is also quite the observant man. I'd even say he is the most observant man when it comes to those closest to him. He can see that you're struggling with something. The last planet you adventured on with the express seemed to have taken it's toll on you mentally and physically, but even at the time you claimed that it was nothing and wouldn't let himself or anyone else on the express examine you or look into your mental health.

It was really worrying him as he saw just how bad your condition had become now. You looked sick, you were often sick these days too. Often not leaving your room after you moved back into it so Welt wouldn't get sick too. He could see you were thinning out, you weren't sleeping because of nightmares, but you just kept going like nothing was wrong. You kept smiling at everyone, doing your duties, helping Pom Pom manage the express, and helping with whatever you could when you weren't busy doing something else

I say Welt would let this go on for about a month. A month of hoping that you would come to him before you got worse, a long month of watching you slowly becoming a shell of yourself. He has to step in, it's in his nature, and not only that you are his lover, his one and only, he can't let this go on another second. Even if that means he has to corner you and treat you like a child or a cornered animal to get you to talk to him.

He would very casually ask you to come with him and lead you to his room, your supposed to be shared room, and sit you down. Welt, with his years of wisdom and compassion, tells you to confide in him like he does you, that he will do whatever he can to make you feel better, feel safer, but he has to know what happened so that he can help, because he wants to help you

Once the tears start Welt will guide you to the him and hold onto you until you calm down, listening to your every word and reassuring you with gentle squeezes and soft kisses to your head. He stays silent the whole time you talk, only speaking when he's sure you've let it all out. He will make sure you know that he's going to fix whatever the issue is and make sure you are the most comfortable you've ever been

Please know that he is using his authority to make you get plenty of bed rest, in your shared room, and that if you need anything at all, even if it seems silly, that you will call him at any hour of the day to come and help you

Gepard

Gepard is a bit slow on noticing your struggles. He is observant, you can't make it to Captain of the Silvermane Guards without being good at observing and making logical and smart decisions. But, because he's captain of the guards, he's never home to see you or how much you're struggling with life in the overworld. He doesn't notice how lonely you've been and how depression has taken it's hold on you since he's been away

It takes a call from Serval and several concerned and disbelieving paragraphs from Lynx before he realizes that he's been away and blind to your problems for longer than he should've been. You can bet he feels like a piece of garbage on his way back to you and begging the Aeons that you wouldn’t leave him for neglecting you like he had

When he enters your shared home he expected to see you maybe moping, lacking energy, and maybe even seeing that you hadn’t been getting sleep since he’s been gone. He wasn’t expecting to see you crying you heart out in the kitchen with your head in your hands. Gepard can feel his heart literally breaking in two

Gepard has never removed his armor more quickly than in that moment. You can bet as soon as the chest piece is off he’s crushing you to his chest and letting a string of apologies fall from his mouth. He’s cursing himself, apologizing, and almost begging you to forgive him for not being there for you or asking someone to check up on you

When he’s done rambling and you stop crying he’ll take a good look at you. He can see it in your eyes how lonely you’d been and how hard it’s been on you since coming to live in the city with him. He feels so bad and like a monster for not being there for you when you needed him the most. Gepard will promise to spend more time with you and properly introduce you to the city he loves.

And he is a man of his word. It causes quite the uproar in the Silvermane Guards and with his family that Gepard, a man who didn’t seem to know what a break even was, took time off of work to be at home with you

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr luocha #hsr gepard #hsr welt #luocha x reader #welt x reader #gepard x reader #welt x you #luocha x you #gepard x you

117 notes · View notes

sophieinwonderland · 22 days

Text

Remember that to Anti-Endos, Truth is Dangerous

"Possibly becoming dangerous for them" in this case means "not being bigoted" and "not supporting hate" and "actually following the science."

The doctors aren't misinformed. They're following the consensus. They're following the ICD-11 that says you can have multiple "Distinct Personality States" without trauma. They're following the creators of the theory of structural dissociation that have said there may be other ways to have multiple self-conscious "dissociative parts of the personality." They're following dissociative specialist Colin Ross and many others who have affirmed the existence of endogenic plurality time and time and time again. They're following the book Transgender Mental Heath and the American Psychiatric Association that published it which says you can be plural without trauma.

And they're following the research into tulpamancers which involves literal brain scans, showing actual neurological evidence that this is a real psychological phenomenon.

The only people who are peddling misinformation are you.

This is where the anti-endo community is at right now, where they consider psychologists who follow science to be "dangerous" to them for disagreeing.

They're not being abused though!

And the only reason this is negatively impacting anyone is because anti-endos keep trying to pick fights with their own therapists and convince their therapists how bad endogenic systems are. And the doctors just... aren't agreeing. They're not going to endorse your hate.

You can just drop it and move on!

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Endogenic systems exist in real life!

Some of us also need medical care!

And awareness of our existence and needs in the medical community is a an amazing thing.

So no. We're not going to stop until everyone, including your therapists, are aware of our existence.

I will never stop advocating for plural awareness as long as this body draw breath.

Here we have the "these people who don't claim to have DID are making it more difficult on people with DID to be taken seriously" braindrain.

As if the people who are skeptical likely haven't even heard of endogenic plurality, and their skepticism isn't a response to the largely anti-endo TikTok sphere.

Like, the doctors in those screenshots seemed largely supportive of their patient's DID. They just also happened to be supportive of these other people anti-endos don't like.

Except... they're not being harmed by their doctors, are they?

The doctors are just stating the truth, or sometimes even just avoiding stating their opinions but in ways that make it clear they side with endogenic systems.

Do you know what is actually harming these systems?

It's their own hate. Nothing more. Nothing less. So if I laugh at the "hurt" they experience, I'm laughing at the dramatic irony of it all.

These are people who are isolated and indoctrinated. They're convinced that these lies are "science" and fed a narrative that encourages them to hate fellow systems.

And the moment they encounter actual professional psych doctors and have to choose between believing their uneducated friends's claims about science and believing these doctors who have studied psychology for years of their lives... they choose hate.

And maybe it's wrong to laugh even at that dramatic irony.

Because this is serious, isn't it?

The truth is that hate is a poison. It damages your mental health. It damages your physical health. It destroys your relationships.

And in this case, the hate that blogs like antiendovents and anti-endo-haven are poisoning their followers with are causing friction between them and their own therapists. Therapists who they may have worked well and connected with before, even for years, but now this one issue is threatening to make them leave treatment that could help them.

If anti-endos can't stomach their therapists not being bigoted like they are, it's not the therapists who are harming them.

It's YOU.

It's your hate.

It's your poison infecting your friends.

All you do is harm the people you pretend to care about, and blame it on everyone else!

And I sincerely hope your so-called friends will find the strength to get away from you for their own good.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #anti endogenic #anti endo #sysblr #multiplicity #actually a system #hate groups #hate group

48 notes · View notes

holocene-sims · 4 months

Text

next // previous

august 17, 2021 4:00 a.m. paradise hotel

three hours later

[grant] you know, i didn’t get a good start to dealing with the whole “my body is broken” thing.

[henry] huh? oh, sorry, i'm awake and heard you; i was just surprised.

[grant] the first time that, um, i got really sick after my sister died, everyone just thought i was mcfucking mentally losing it. i mean, i was, but also i could not get out of bed, could not walk, couldn’t hold a toothbrush even because my hands wouldn’t move…

[grant] and my parents, who are medical professionals, wouldn’t take me to any doctor because they thought i was melodramatic.

[henry] you missed two months of school. we went different schools but i remember that. i didn’t see you for that two months either.

[grant] they only ever took me because they got tired of dealing with me, and they were getting in trouble for me being truant. and what do you know? like every other kid with something wrong, the answer was growing pains. you're tall for your age, so that's it!

[henry] doctors are stupid sometimes.

[grant] tell me about it. i lived with two idiot doctors for eighteen years. the proof is in the pudding.

[grant] and then, uhh, there’s the whole…

[grant] the whole college thing.

[grant] did i ever tell you how i became an addict, bud?

[henry] you’ve never wanted to.

[henry] i assumed it was because people try to numb childhood trauma. and i could tell something was not right with the college hockey team situation, but i didn’t know what or if that was connected at all.

[henry] it could have come from anywhere. most everyone in college does drugs. i smoked a lot of weed.

[grant] it’s both of your assumptions. there were a lot of things i needed to suppress, and i didn’t know how to control myself after tasting the slightest bit of freedom from my parents. but also…

[grant] the dudes on the hockey team hated me except sebastian. i just didn’t click. i wasn’t the right kind of person to fit in that very dudebro jock locker room.

[grant] so, on one hand, i started on a bunch of party drugs and alcohol because i figured out that when i got fucked up out of my mind, they finally found me funny, and you know how i am.

[henry] you are really desperate for people to like you and for you to not feel like you're imposing.

[grant] it’s totally true. i need to be liked. and need is the right word. it’s not as bad now, i've grown out of it a bit, but still, the feeling is there. i need to be liked and to not be anyone's burden.

[grant] yet that’s not the whole story.

[grant] i was, um, well, also illegally prescribed a lot of painkillers.

[grant] by the team's medical people.

[grant] my health issues were already there, but playing a contact sport made it worse. i'm gonna be honest, i don’t remember what happened, but i got some kind of back injury, and i went right back to that state i was in after my sister died.

[grant] seriously, same stuff. couldn’t really get out of bed, couldn’t function. at least not without...

[henry] oh god. i don’t like the way this sounds.

[grant] i was naive enough to hope that people might do the right thing for me once in my life, so i told the medical staff, like, hey, i'm suffering, and i need help. and they just kind of, uh, waved me off and said their job was to patch me up so i could be on the ice, not fix me.

[grant] i was already trouble in all the staff's eyes because i was the odd one out in the locker room, and that's not looked upon well. so, in hindsight, i should have seen literally all the red flags or should have been brave enough to just break down and see a real doctor elsewhere again, but i didn’t.

[grant] anyway, the team staff offered me opioids and i gladly took them. and they kind of sort of barely worked. so i took more. and more and more, and i mixed them with all kinds of other substances. like, i should probably be dead from the amount of mixing i did or from just the sheer volume of drugs i took. also, no one gave a fuck how many times a week i came in to ask for drugs as long as i played hockey good enough.

[henry] and you were good.

[grant] still, the pills never genuinely made me feel better. they just got me high enough to forget about suffering. that makes sense now because i have a diagnosis and have heard nothing but anti-inflammatories are going to really work on resolving the whole pain thing. too late for that, though. i'm an addict. yes, am, not was, even if i'm sober. so, i won't touch them now. i haven't in years.

[grant] but there you go! there’s the story.

[grant] that feels supremely embarrassing to have told, but i wanted to get it off my chest. you are my best friend. more than that. you're family. you're my brother. i don’t have to be afraid to tell you anything and you deserve to know the truth.

[grant] especially because you've never shied away from honesty and you stuck with me that whole time. i don’t think most addicts are lucky enough to have friends and family that patient. and i tried many, many times to push everyone away so i could destroy myself in peace. i wouldn’t blame any of you if you had given up on me.

[grant] yeah. it's not very kind of me to receive that much, um, grace and love and forgiveness, and not at least reward and thank you with the truth. the full and honest truth, even if you didn't ask for it. oh, and a window into why i am the way i am, why i keep my mouth shut.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #i know i wrote this but like bro i'm proud of you for being open and honest <3 #we got real progress folks #first of all he wasn't self-pitying during his birthday and now he's telling the truth even if it's kind of ugly and painful #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: henry

42 notes · View notes

mostlymaudlin · 1 year

Text

An Attempted Explanation of Andrew’s “Manic Pills”

One of the things that bothers me about AFTG is Andrew’s medicine. The way most of the characters talk about court-mandated psychiatry and sobriety and mania is a questionable and often harmful representation of what it’s like to experience mania/hypomania — which like, it’s fiction, that’s fine, but it’s also something that I take a lil personally. So I’ve decided to try to legitimize the whole thing for myself, just because I can!

Necessary to note: I’m not a medical professional, a lawyer, etc. I’m usually a pretty good fact-checker, but I could definitely be wrong abt stuff, and I’d love for you to tell me if I am. I ran a lot of this by the lovely @the-greater-grief, who does have a medical background and also inspired me with this analysis they did on Andrew’s mental health. They were really helpful in explaining a lot of the more technical drug information, so they’re largely responsible for most of the theory that makes sense lol. But, they are also not responsible for me saying things that are wrong, lol! Alsooooo, I’ve been in the fandom for less than a year so it’s possible I’m saying stuff people have said before. Idc. I’m having fun reinventing the wheel lmfao. Okay, onwards!

The post has two parts:

Lovingly dismantling a lot of the bullshit Neil tells us in the books

Setting up a more realistic version of Andrew’s mental health situation

Apologies in advance, this got long-winded. Let’s do this!

Dismissing Neil’s framing

AFTG is told from Neil’s perspective, so we as readers are limited to the things he knows and understands. We know that Neil is often unreliable, and as perceptive as he can be, he makes a lot of questionable assumptions that he internalizes as fact.

This is what he tells us, rather crudely:

Andrew tried to kill some guys, because he might be a psychopath/sociopath.

Rather than being sent to prison, he was court-mandated to take drugs that make him “manic”/less likely to kill other people.

The manic pills make him crazy and also make him sick, to the point where the characters refer to him as “sober” when he is unmedicated.

The withdrawal is severe enough that his psych wants him to be hospitalized to come off them.

We learn all this about Andrew’s treatment from three sources: Information Neil read before he even joined the Foxes, Nicky’s exposition dumps, and Andrew’s actual behavior. The bullshit mostly comes from the first two items on this list, because Andrew never cares to explain much of his situation to Neil. And we can actually brush all of it off pretty easily.

Neil builds most of his perception of Andrew’s treatment on top of information from articles he read about Kevin’s transfer to Palmetto State. These articles were unkind — the Exy world was upset that Kevin was leaving the Ravens, and Andrew was painted in a cruel and probably inaccurate way. Neil mentions an article headlined “The Prince & the Pauper”... I personally would not take anything from that article seriously.

Some of this bullshit is corroborated by Nicky, a 20-something year old jock majoring in marketing. When Andrew was sentenced, we can guess that Nicky (still basically a teenager himself) was very scared that his cousin, who he is responsible for, was going to get sent to prison. Based on the way he talks about mental health in general, I wouldn’t consider him to be an expert on the nitty-gritty of psychiatry. He just saw the outcome of the trial, which was not prison, yay! and instead involved some kind of pills that made Andrew way more social. Also, as much as I think Nicky tries, he doesn’t really get Andrew — he thought Andrew was straight, and then he thought he was hate-fucking Neil. He’s not a reliable source when it comes to judging how Andrew’s brain works/how he is affected by his treatment.

This leaves Andrew’s behavior, because he never talks about his mental health except to say that he’s “crazy” and that he is not a sociopath. When he’s on the medicine, his behavior includes an elevated mood, a short attention span, and trouble curbing his impulses. When he doesn’t take his medicine on time, he experiences withdrawal (nausea, fatigue, etc), and feeling ill seems to curb some of his mood elevation enough to let him think with more clarity. When he’s off it, he is able to shut down his emotional reactions to things, though he still exhibits flashes of the rage, depression, and zingy one-liners from his behavior in the first two books.

Also, the only people who actually seem to understand Andrew’s mental health treatment are Andrew himself, Bee, and probably Wymack. Aaron might also have a better handle on it all because he’s pre-med, and also he understands Andrew enough to clock that he is gaga for Neil lol.

Okay. Bullshit? Gone.

A proposed alternate story

Once upon a time, some homophobes started beating up Andrew’s cousin and the only legal guardian that didn’t treat him like utter shit, so he went feral on them.

He gets arrested, and somewhere along the line the courts determine that his violence stems from mental illness. Rather than being sentenced to prison, he gets some kind of probation that mandates he engage in mental health treatment. The psychiatrist he sees at the time determines that he has depression — which, like, they’ve definitely seen his self-harm scars, so this is a fair assumption — and he is prescribed an antidepressant.

Now’s a good time to mention that no one would ever intentionally prescribe something to induce mania in a patient. Mania is a supremely dangerous state. People get hospitalized to get out of a manic episode. Whenever I even inch toward it, my therapist and psych are like, “CALL ME!!!!” It also would do nothing to curb violence — the opposite, actually, if the manic person often has a hard time holding themselves back from hurting themselves and others. If you look at Andrew’s behavior in the first two books, I don’t think it would even qualify as full-blown mania. He sleeps, he fulfills his responsibilities, he doesn’t seem to have any delusions of grandeur. His symptoms align better with hypomania, which is less severe and accounts for the things we noted before (mood elevation, short attention span, irritability, impulsiveness). I also think a lot of the stuff Andrew does that is attributed to his medicine is probably just Andrew being Andrew — because as Aaron once said, “it wasn’t the drugs that made him crazy.” (I wrote more about this once in an Andrew character study I did.)

So, the antidepressants would’ve been prescribed to treat the depression, which hypothetically could’ve made Andrew so hopeless and full of rage that he was constantly on the verge of flipping his shit on people. There are plenty of antidepressants that will make you sick/be less effective if you fuck with your dosing schedule, and all the alcohol he drinks probably doesn’t help either. Still, the medicine would just treat depression. HOWEVER! If Andrew actually has bipolar disorder (:D!!!), then some antidepressants do have a risk of inducing mania/hypomania!

It should’ve been obvious that Andrew’s antidepressant was not working as intended. But I doubt Nicky, Andrew, and Aaron had great health insurance before they enrolled at Palmetto, so Andrew’s court-mandated mental health provider was probably like, “cool, not trying to kill people anymore, we’re good.” A good provider like Bee would clock that Andrew had been misdiagnosed, and she’d want to adjust his medicine. But this leads to the final part of the theory — actually suggested by the brilliant Grimm — which also could explain how Andrew came to trust Bee.

If Bee diagnosed Andrew with bipolar, she would want to switch him over to lithium, which is the most common bipolar medicine. I’ve never actually been on lithium, and while I’ve heard it can be really effective, it definitely has a bad reputation — some people say it makes them feel like a “zombie.” Fatigue/dizziness/drowsiness are known potential side effects, especially when you’re adjusting to changed doses — and anyone who’s ever been on a psych med knows that it takes a while to get the dose right. I’m guessing (justified) control freak Andrew Minyard would not be down to risk feeling like a zombie.

(Sidenote: people with bipolar II also get put on lamotrigine, which specifically manages low moods, but from what I can tell it wouldn’t have been common in the mid-2000s. it was only approved for bipolar treatment in 2003.)

Maybe Bee made him a deal: He can stay on the antidepressant, which is not working but is also not the most dangerous thing, as long as he fully commits to their talk therapy sessions so that he can learn how to cope with his symptoms. This is similar to the deal Wymack struck with Andrew. He tends to trust the small handful of people who have given him agency.

Alright, that’s the theory! Andrew has bipolar disorder. He’s not on the right meds. The courts are not doing silly illegal things (well, not in this case anyway), and the jocks of PSU are the real stereotypes here.

Because at the end of the day, this is a tale as old as time: People with mental illness are easily made out to be the villain.

#aftg #my writing

228 notes · View notes

sleepingdeath-light · 11 months

Text

how she’d treat her adopted child hcs ; brandy

requested by ; anonymous (14/07/23)

fandom(s) ; bluey

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; brandy cattle

outline ; “hello! I heard that you do sfw requests for Bluey. I was wondering if you could do a Brandi and a adopted child reader? Like headcanons on Brandi being a mom to an adopted child reader”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

once she’d set her mind to it, brandy spent years preparing to adopt a child: sorting out paperwork, consulting everyone from specialists in children’s mental health to social workers and anyone in between, researching different schools, contacting different adoption agencies and preparing her house and her spare room to make everything child proof and child friendly

hell she even had chilli and bandit on speed dial and ended up consulting bluey and bingo for ideas as to what a child their age might want/enjoy — which meant many a shopping trip and ‘meetings’ that the girls took surprisingly seriously

and in the end all of the stress and costs were worth it because she got to take you home

the child (not baby, not toddler) who she’d met on chance and immediately fallen in love with — and who quickly took to her enough to agree to her taking you home with her (after everything was sorted out legally, of course)

she’s extremely gentle and cautious with you — patient to a ‘t’ as she lets you get a grasp on your new surroundings and home

she doesn’t force you to call her anything, simply introducing herself and stating her role and telling you that you can call her whatever feels the most comfortable to you

(but, of course, she does hope that one day — even if it takes some time — you’ll be happy to call her ‘mum’)

takes her time to learn about you through play and conversation — asking about your favourite dinosaurs and least favourite colour but also engaging you in conversation about your latest interest

she wants to know about everything that makes you happy, really, because she wants to be able to make you happy herself

respects your boundaries and implements a system where you’re comfortable and allowed to say ‘no’ or ‘i need some space right now’ — taking some things out of her sister’s parenting playbook and giving them her own twist

she even has a cool down corner for you stocked with the textures you prefer, plenty of your favourite type of toy and some age appropriate books that she snagged from a book fair by bribing bluey

brandy is also the type of mum who has a whole binder and schedule filled with the things you need — be that specific types of medication and doses, foods you can/can’t eat (be that due to allergies or sensory issues), any disabilities and schedules for things like appointments

she also does a heck of a lot of research (independent and aided by professionals) if you do have any disabilities and/or neurodivergence because she wants to keep you facilitated and accommodated in every way — whether that’s finding the best mobility aid or the type of medication that works best for you or even coming up with fun ways to help you compartmentalise and better focus/ground yourself

it really does depend on your specific needs, but no matter what she makes every effort to accommodate you because that’s what a good mum does

she usually either calls you by your name or ‘sweets’ (as well as variations of that nickname)

encourages you to be silly and to have fun, but she’s also pretty protective over you — like she’ll push you to go beyond your comfort zone every now and then but she does have a habit of fussing over you when you get a bruise, nick or scrape

it’s a habit she’s trying to break as you get older and become more independent, but you’re still her baby and she hates when you get hurt

you have frequent play dates with your cousins and the girls adore you — constantly coming up with new games that you can play or just lounging around with you and chatting about your lates grievances

you’ve only seen one instance of the ‘onesie’ issue and thankfully your mum was able to airlift you to safety before bingo ate you alive — it was a mightily close call (you three had a lot of fun that day, and arguably so did your parents)

every piece of art, sculpture, award, certificate or piece of writing you bring home gets displayed proudly by your mum or kept safely elsewhere

your writing and art pieces have their own scrapbook, for example, and your certificates have their own binder

sculptures, meanwhile, end up scattered about the house — mainly on her bedside table or on the mantle

if you are a part of a youth club — whether it’s sports, dance, choir, artsy/creative or acting/drama — then brandy is going to show up to all of your public appearances to support you as loudly and proudly as is appropriate

(like she’ll loudly cheer at a sporting event but she’ll rein herself in for a play)

your aunty, uncle and the girls also show up because how could they not? you show up for your cousins, after all

in short: you’ll grow up absolutely surrounded by unconditional love, encouragement and praise by both your adopted mother and your new family — and they’ll all stand beside or behind you and support you whenever you need them

because that’s just what family does

#sleepingdeath #gender neutral reader #child reader #platonic x reader #platonic bluey series x reader #platonic brandy cattle x reader #fluff #fluff hcs #platonic fluff #first fandom request

65 notes · View notes

neonacity · 2 years

Text

BLOOD RED | CH.3 | HAECHAN X READER

Summary: You’re a forensic psychiatrist assigned to one of the country’s high-profile criminals. You want to unravel him, but he’s set on catching you in his web instead.

Characters: Haechan, Reader, Jungwoo, Johnny

Warnings: crimes, blood, weapons, toxic dynamics, psychological themes, personality disorder, mental health disorder, dissociative identity disorder, smut (fingering, F receiving). Please, please, please, do not interact if you are a minor.

This work is not meant to romanticize any personality disorders or toxic dynamics. Also, I am not a trained psychologist or medical professional so there might be inconsistencies on some of the scientific things here. Most medical references mentioned, however, are based on the book “The Minds of Billy Milligan” which is based on a true story. This is a work of fiction and I am not implying any likeness between the characterization here of the boys to their real life counterparts. I also reserve the rights to all my work—I do not post anywhere else other than tumblr.

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2

The bitterness of the last few drops of coffee spread on your tongue like poison. You looked at the flimsy paper cup with a frown—as if it was its fault you'd downed the rest of its contents—before crumpling and throwing it to the bin beside you. Your eyes were heavy and yet your mind was in overdrive—as if you weren't running on two hours of sleep today, just like how you were yesterday and many nights before that.

You can remember the first time the nightmares started coming.

The feeling was similar to being slowly being undone, as if your seams are on the verge of falling apart any moment. You couldn't understand the cause of it...

It was two weeks ago when things slowly started turning for the worse. You couldn't remember the last time you've had such vivid dreams before, but you knew—the moment you woke up with pure fear sitting at the back of your throat that night—that what you had was out of the norm. Frustratingly, you couldn't remember much of your nightmare the moment you opened your eyes, but you could tell from the way your heart thundered in your chest and the cold sweat that soaked you that some switch has been flipped inside of you. You remember voices, but not their words, and a part of your fear-fogged brain could still draw up silhouettes that were too hazy for you to make out. For the next few days the nightmares would come and go, leaving you shaking in fear from something you don't even know every single time.

Or maybe you do. You're just too afraid to admit what it is.

The sudden sharp knock from your door made you almost jump from your seat. Your surprise must have been so obvious, because the moment you turned around, you caught the look of obvious worry on Jungwoo's face. Clearing your throat, you decided to quickly gloss over your reaction before he could even have the chance to point it out.

"Hey. What are you still doing here?"

Your friend strolled inside and gave you a look that made you shift your eyes away from him. He stopped just beside your table while you tried to busy yourself in fixing the messy folders cluttering your desk.

"I could ask you the same thing. You've been pulling so many long hours lately."

"I'm just taking care of a couple of things."

"Is the 'couple of things' the Lee kid's case?"

You hate the way your hand froze in the middle of picking up something. It was a quick slip, but it was enough to catchJungwoo's sharp, observant gaze. Pointedly, you pushed through the roughness in your throat and tried to divert the conversation to safer grounds.

"I'm fine. This is the first time I've ever handled a case like this so I'm just a little bit more fixated than usual. You have to understand, I don't even know if I'll ever come across someone like him again."

Jungwoo gave you a look that told you he wasn't buying any of what you were saying.

"That's bullshit and you know it. Have you taken a look at yourself lately?" He paused, his jaw ticking as if he was stopping himself from saying something he shouldn't. You couldn't bear to look at him, knowing exactly where the conversation was going.

"This case is consuming you. He is consuming you. I'm worried that this is becoming an obsession."

You tried to push back the bitter taste at the back of your mouth. Your stomach had turned into knots and for a second, you actually thought you were slipping from reality. Jungwoo put into words what you couldn't—and what you refused to acknowledge—but hearing it straight from him felt like an actual punch in the gut. You barely realized you have been shaking in your seat until you felt the warmth of his hands covering yours.

"You need to stop…"

"I can't."

"Why?" He frowned, concern evident in his voice. His hold on you tightened when he felt your hands tremble more in his grip.

"I don't know," your voice finally caught as you looked at him helplessly. "Jungwoo, I've tried. I tried stopping, believe me, but I can't. He is everywhere, even in my sleep. I don't know what's happening to me and I'm terrified. I can't get rid of him. It's like… he's inside me."

The punctuated silence that followed after your confession was almost physically painful. Jungwoo took a while before he spoke again, his steady on you as if he's trying to dig through whatever it is that was festering inside your head. The dead air in the room became unbearable, and it's only until you've started feeling the dull pain of your blunt nails digging against your palms that he decided to reply again.

"We're taking you off the case. I'm calling the headquarters right now."

Your head shot up so fast as he started pulling away from you. Quickly, you scrambled for his hands again as if they were your lifeline.

"What—W-Wait, Jungwoo, please. You can't do that."

"I can and I will. I can't just stand around watching you like this. I don't know what the hell that boy is doing to you, but I'm not letting him lay another finger on you."

"Okay. I understand. Y-You can call them. But can you do it tomorrow? It's late. I can—I can give my own supporting testimonial if they want to. But—let's just do it tomorrow, okay? Please?"

The fear and desperation in your chest was almost making you gag. The still rational part of your mind was trying to connect the dots to understand why you are acting this way, but the choking feeling consuming you was overriding any sort of logic left in you. You knew Jungwoo was right. You probably look like an addict being threatened off his source of heroin right now, but you didn't care. All you know is that cutting lines from that boy would make you drown more in whatever murky mess you're swimming in at the moment.

What the hell are you doing?

The voice in your head reflected the same look of confusion that Jungwoo gave you. You honestly have no idea why you blurted that or what you were even trying to do, but you've gotten to a point where you've let your impulses finally take over. Despite yourself, you were able to gather the little control you have and gave the man a convincing look. You squeezed his hand, your eyes determined but pleading.

"Please, Jungwoo?"

A shadow of something passed his gaze. You couldn't exactly point out what it was, but you were relieved that you sound like your old self again. He also probably noticed, because he gave you a small nod after a few more beats of silence.

"First thing tomorrow… okay?"

"Yes… I promise."

"Good. You should go home and take a re—"

"Wait," you tugged at his hand to gently cut him off. His brows slightly shot up at the action, surprised by it.

"Can I sleep in your house tonight?"

His lips parted in confusion.

"What?"

"I've been jittery because I've been losing sleep. I've tried everything. I think having someone with me will help me relax better. Calm down my anxiety…"

"Don't you have… someone who can help you out? That man you went out with?"

"He's nice, but he's a stranger. I would feel more comfortable with my best friend," you said, almost way too smoothly. "Please, Woo? Just like the old times…?"

You saw the way his jaw tightened again as you trailed off. The strange shadow in his eyes flickered once more, except this time, you have half an idea of what could be behind them. After a long pause, he finally sighed and looked away as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Fine. That will be easier for us to call the headquarters tomorrow. Come on. I think you still have a few things in my apartment.”

Your smile didn't betray the erratic beating of your heart. You squeezed his hand before finally letting it go.

"Thank you. I owe you one."

*******

You have no idea what time it is when you finally decided to crack your eyes open. The room was pitch black, so it took your vision a couple of seconds to make out the glow-in-the-dark hands of the clock nailed to the wall. 2:55 AM. If luck's on your side, you can pull off this stupid plan of yours without setting off something.

Carefully, you moved your head to the side without rustling the covers around you too much. You couldn't really see Jungwoo's face, but you made sure to closely listen to the sounds of his breathing to check if he is already deep in sleep. For a good ten seconds you just watched him, making sure that he really is out, before you slowly started peeling the duvet off of you so you could get up from the bed. You winced in discomfort the moment your bare feet touched the cool marble floor of the room, but you decided to push on and forego slippers to mask your steps. Your heartbeat was drumming so hard against your ribcage that you almost feared Jungwoo could hear it, but that didn't stop you from feeling your way out of the room in the dark. You had to thank your muscle memory, because you were able to navigate to the door without hitting anything or tripping over yourself.

The stiffness that has climbed up to your neck has lifted a little when you finally managed to step into the hallway. Allowing yourself a soft sigh of relief, you didn't waste any time after to go to the small study that Jungwoo uses as his home office. If there's one thing about your friend that you are a hundred percent sure of, it's that he is a big sucker for organizing things. So if you're going to be snooping around his files, you're sure you will all find them in one place and one place only.

You weren't disappointed when you finally managed to crack open the door at the end of the hallway. Not wanting to risk it by opening a light, you moved quickly towards the table where a laptop is and quickly tried to revive its screen. It was passport protected as you expected, but the light from it now bathed the pile of folders filed neatly beside it. You quickly grabbed for them with shaking hands and opened them one by one to check their contents.

You were on the verge of giving up when your hands finally froze and hovered over the last file. Slowly, you read the words typed on the first page under the blue light of the screen.

If you're going to be honest, you don't exactly know what you are trying to look for. Your gut feel tells you that there is something and that you are close, but your disappointment grew by the second as you realized that all the folders you went through are the same ones that have already been given to you. Could it really be possible that you're simply paranoid? Was Jungwoo correct after all about this case affecting you so much that you are slowly losing grip in reality?

Case 04532

Status: Unclosed

Year: 2018.

File Record: Alias, The Apothecarist

You frowned at the lines of text in confusion. Your first thought was that Jungwoo might just have misplaced the folder and placed it in the pile of Haechan’s records, but you knew for a fact that he is not assigned to any other case at the moment. Slowly, you turned to the other pages, hoping that something there might give you a clue about what exactly you’re looking at.

A minute of fast skimming gave you a quick review of the case. From the year 2015 to 2018, a serial offender given the alias of The Apothecarist supposedly committed no less than 50 crimes across the city and its closest neighboring areas. The person’s signature offense was through poisoning, supposedly using a combination of lead, arsenic, and still unknown herbal blends to kill their targets. However, other unverified crimes were also connected to the suspect, with the police believing that the person’s mastery in mixing chemicals also extended their talents to creating bombs and other explosives. In 2018, after a particularly large fire that injured dozens and killed many, all the crimes came to a sudden halt. To this day, no leads about the serial offender have ever been found.

Your mind slowly processed the information as your eyes continued to skim over the pages. Nothing still makes sense to you, not until your gaze landed on the list of dates the crimes were supposedly done. You paused. 2018… Four years ago. Slowly, things started moving in your head as a cold feeling made its way up your spine.

Four years ago, Haechan was eighteen years old… The same age Donghyuck supposedly started with his crimes.

It felt like time started moving slowly for you afterwards. Your frozen fingers went back a couple of pages so you could read again the list of crimes that happened during the three year period. Large scale poisoning… Arson. Bombing to the point of total incineration. All victims died without blood mainly because nothing much was left of them in the first place. Even the poisoning cases could have been easily disguised as a random heart attack.

"Do you like blood?"

"I'm not particularly against it."

"Is that why you committed three arson cases, four bombings, and ten mass cyanide crimes across the city?"

"Princess, none of those drew any blood, but if you're asking that question to confirm my love for violence, then yes, I did them all."

Your head was reeling. A dull ringing has already started at the back of your head when you pulled Haechan's file and went straight to the page that lists his own crimes. When you focused on the dates, it felt like you finally closed your fingers on the missing piece that you've been desperately trying to fumble for in the dark.

The years are different, but each and every recorded attack that Donghyuck confessed to happened on the same date that The Apothecarist did theirs. Even the nature of the crime was almost similar—like a well-made replica of another maestro's work. When your gaze landed on the date of the first crime ever recorded under Donghyuck's name, you swore you stopped breathing.

It was exactly a month after The Apothecarist's last and biggest crime… also done on the same day and almost in the same manner. The pattern says it all. It was a continuation of an unfinished work, a struggling effort to keep an obra maestra from entirely dying.

Donghyuck is not the master of Haechan.

Because he's been under the influence of someone else all along.

*******

You tried your best to keep your gait steady as you passed through the heavy metal gates of the prison. You have no idea whether Jungwoo called the headquarters already to officially take you off the case, but the guards barely even looked your way when you told them that you're here for another interview. In fact, the pair currently flanking the main entrance didn't even miss a beat in getting back to their card game when you told them you wanted the session to be entirely private. Their lack of blatant care told you that it might be Haechan that they escorted today. Or at least… who they thought was Haechan.

He was already waiting by the table when you finally walked in. Turning to look at you, the boy gave you his usual wide smile, before it froze on his face when he saw your expression. For a while, you only stood in silence by the door, watching him quietly. When you finally started slowly walking towards him, he followed you with his gaze, like a predator tracking his prey.

"You did a great job fooling the guards today, Donghyuck."

The slow smirk that replaced his once innocent smile sent pins of cold straight to your bones.

"You're getting better at this too, Princess."

"I've figured you out," your voice came as an almost shaky whisper as you stopped at a distance from where he was still calmly sitting. Something changed in the light of his eyes as you said it, and in that moment, you were sure he knew exactly what you were talking about.

"You did," he said, his tone not giving away whether he is stating a fact or asking a question.

"Everything you've done… You did it for your teacher, didn't you? You weren't just acting out. You were following a legacy. Does Haechan even know about this?"

He didn't answer. He only stared at you, his face devoid of any emotions you could pick apart.

“Were you under his orders? Does he know the police caught you?”

More silence.

"Are you his successor? Of the Apothecarist?"

His blank facade finally cracked as he curled his lips before giving an empty laugh.

"Am I their successor? Darling, I think we got a little lost in translation there,” he said, his eyes dancing with a light that almost made you physically shiver. “I would give anything for that person to give me as much as a glance. Why do you think I have done all these things?"

You froze. Trying to scramble your brains, your train of thought was easily lost on you as you watched him slowly rise from his seat. He started moving closer with measured steps towards you, his gaze pinning you on the spot. Before you could even stop yourself, your gut instinct took the best of you and made you take a step back to keep him from closing the distance.

"I have done everything to find that person again. You see, people like me and Haechan, we're wrong in the head. We're outcasts. That person was the only one who could have understood us, but they made the stupid decision to stop. I didn't like that. So I took up their activities, because I thought, maybe if they see me doing it, they'll have no other choice but to crawl out of their hellhole and find me. But no. Even that didn't work no matter how many places and people I ripped apart. It was very, very frustrating."

Your breath caught in your throat when you felt your back hit the cold wall behind you. He was towering over you now, eyes dark and hooded as he slowly and pointedly rested both arms beside your head to cage you in place. Goosebumps rose on the skin of your arms when he spoke softly again, his face close enough that his breath was fanning your skin.

"You said you figured me out. The question now is… What are you going to do about it?"

You didn't know how you managed to answer, not when he slowly lowered his head to run his nose gently over the curve of your cheek. His lips ghosted over the shell of your ear after, causing your eyes to flutter shut. Your knees have gone weak, but you couldn't really find it in you to push him away.

"Y-You need… to leave," you croaked. He laughed softly as he pressed his lips to the sensitive spot of your neck, a move that finally made your legs give way under your weight. Before you collapsed though, one of his hands caught you by the hip and pressed you against the wall harshly to keep you steady.

"You'll make me leave? How are you even going to do that, hm?"

You were fighting for air. You pressed your hands against his chest now, though that didn't stop him from trailing his hand on your hip to the hem of your skirt. You gasped as his knuckles grazed against the skin of your thigh.

"What are you—"

"Answer. Or I'll turn you around right now and fuck you against the wall."

Your voice died in your throat. You knew he wasn't kidding, not when he slipped his fingers under your clothes and started slowly rubbing circles inside your thigh. Every now and then, he would stop the gentle movements to bury his blunt nails against the soft skin there to leave half crescent marks on your skin. You were absolutely wrecked, breathing heavily as you became painfully aware of the wetness and heat that has now gathered in the apex of your thighs.

"Answer… Now."

"M-Merge. You need to merge. With H-Haechan."

Your reply made him momentarily pause. It was quick though, his movements soon enough resuming to leave burning tracks on your skin.

"Merging… That's very... novel. I've read studies of it. Multiple personalities are merged and fused together with the core personality to make a single entity," he said casually in an almost thoughtful voice that was a complete contrast to the way his hand started inching closer and closer to your core. Both your hands dropped to his wrist, trying to stop him.

"So you're thinking you can merge me with Haechan… Make us into one person so that I can be held back, is that it?" His voice was brimming with amusement now as he smiled down on you. You gave a dry sob, absolutely hating the way your body was screaming for him to touch you where you needed him. You didn't even bother to answer as you painfully became aware of how his fingers suddenly stopped moving a pitying few inches from your dripping core. For a moment, none of you talked and moved. The only sounds in the room were that of your heavy breathing and the ticking hands of the clock on the wall. When he spoke again, his soft words were like the crack of a whip that shattered the tension that shrouded you both.

"Do you cum from thoughts of me, noona?"

Your head shot up at him, stunned by the question.

"Wha—"

You broke off into a scream before you even managed to push the word out as he suddenly moved his hand and plunged two fingers inside of you. He moved so fast in pushing your soaked underwear to the side and burying himself to the hilt that the only thing you managed to do was to grip at his shoulders as a mixture of stretch and slight pain overcame your body in waves. He was quick enough to cover your lips with his other free hand, the action softening your voice into muffled groans against his palm.

"Shhh… Keep quiet now. You wouldn't want the guards to come running here and see me knuckle-deep in you, right? Or maybe that's your thing?" He laughed softly, his voice sweet and gentle. It was an ironic contradiction to the way he pumped his fingers deep inside of you, fast, deep, and unforgiving. He didn’t even let you adjust, instead starting a pace that made you shake against him. Unable to answer, you shook your head vehemently as tears started pricking your eyes.

"Fuck, you're such a dirty slut. Can you hear yourself? You're soaking wet. You're even spreading your legs for me."

"I know you dream of me. Don't even try to deny it," he whispered against your temple as you struggled to keep yourself up. Without warning, he pushed another finger inside of you, so deep this time that it hit that spot that always made your vision turn white. The sensation made you actually scream again behind his hand, a reaction he ultimately caught as he smirked at you.

The realization hit you like a truck when he said those words. Looking down in panic, you caught yourself trying to spread yourself wider for him as your thighs continued to tremble. You watched as his fingers disappeared inside of you again and again, massaging your walls that were desperately trying to suck him in. A broken groan left your throat as you felt yourself tighten against him, desperate for more. When he resumed his pace and went deeper, you clung to him harder, nails digging against the fabric of his shirt.

"Oh… So it's this, huh? Your special spot. Look at you trembling. Are you close? Are you going to cum with just my fingers?"

All sense and reason have left you at this point. Tears have started spilling down your cheeks, but all you could care about was the way he continued to drive himself deeper inside you again and again, right where you need him. Your legs were in pain, and you threw your head back against the wall as the beginnings of the tight knot in the pit of your stomach started to unravel. Donghyuck pressed his lips against the column of your throat and nipped your skin in between murmuring words that your foggy mind could barely understand anymore.

Come on.

Give in.

Beautiful.

Stop fighting me.

"Cum."

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he made one last thrust and buried his fingers against the spot inside of you. Vision turning white, the pressure inside you finally broke and sent waves and waves of electric pleasure through your veins. You could hear everything and nothing, your mind temporarily blanking out to block everything but your high. Just as you were at the crest of your orgasm, you heard him whisper words against your cheek as he gently kissed you there.

"Perfect… You're so perfect."

"Too bad you can never be her."

-----

A/N: Well... that was a ride. This is the second to the last chapter. Enjoy!

Taglist: @negincho, @jhornytrash, @aaasteroidsky, @huangberryyy, @marijmin, @ashkuuuu , @lostlovesoul11 , @johnniverse , @traint0tokyo , @lilyinthewinter , @byunniebaekhyunnie , @ellatizw , @bettyschwallocksyee , @stopeatread , @glitching-wren, @tyongf-sunflower99, @chelzinha26, @vaerinri, @minshookie29, @grandmasterslickfox, @coconuttiez8d, @haechanalpha, @markleemelonn,

Untaggable for some reason 😔 @hyukiebb, @kpopstanforlifeuwu

If I missed anyone, please let me know!

#yandere haechan #haechan yandere #haechan smut #haechan smut fanfic #haechan x reader smut #nct fic #nct smut #haechan x reader insert #nct imagines #haechan x reader #nct-fic #fic: blood red

302 notes · View notes

effervescentism · 16 days

Text

I have… so many thoughts about Harry Potter it’s actually embarrassing so I’ll be spewing them here 🫶

FOR REFERENCE: Fuck (is cursing bad here??) JKR. Her ideology is shit and I hate her but I will be talking about HP because the character building is decent and interesting to build off of

With that in mind: Tom Riddle & Voldemort (I’m separating them since I will talk about both differently)

TOM RIDDLE: Honestly Tom is one of the most interesting characters in HP solely because of the information given about him. The only time we see him in childhood is completely through Dumbledore (who I don’t hate but definitely is a capital b biased person that I also wanna explore in another post but).

The memories mostly comprase of the whole wardrobe on fire scene (awful way of introducing magic to a child btw) and Tom’s penchant for stealing items from children at Wools Orphanage and harming Billy’s rabbit as revenge. For me, this set the scene as a child that is trying to gain and find power wherever and however, possible. I think that his experience in Wools formed him into a Survior, willing to do anything to find power he feels he was deserved. We also see this kind of behavior when he goes to Hogwarts, forms the Knights, and so forth. This blatant disregard for everyone around him and his singlemindness to get to the top does kind of resonate of ASPD (Anti-social personality disorder) to me (not like a medical professional so take lightly).

I do think that Dumbledore’s whole thing about Amortentia and unable to feel love is kind of B.S. because it feels like a cheap way to say that he was doomed from the beginning. It doesn’t make sense considering how would it even work to create a child incapable of feeling just love? (Weirdo magic thing probably since potions usually aren’t based on a lot of logic) but you would think that it would be illegal, not just banned at Hogwarts if creating it in the first place if that’s a possible side effect. It seems like an excuse of why Dumbledore fundamentally thought something was wrong with him even as a small child (more of dumbledore’s rigid thinking). Also, there was little to no mental health services in the world as far as aware- especially in 1930s it was greatly unlikely that either world would have any access to them. This makes Tom’s conditions, whether it be a mental disorder or just traumatic issues from growing up feeling unwanted and both of his parents gone, difficult to understand especially for a man terrified of making the same mistakes from his youth.

Only other information that we have is from the diary, which does not actually reveal a lot about his exact life or memories. We can see that he is clearly a charming, influential person, although some of the influence might be a side effect from the horcruxes nature, and we see that he obviously knows how to manipulate people and get what he wants. He has a clear blood bias that we see, and he also clearly detest being a half blood in contexts when he talks about his “filthy” muggle father. He also seems to kind of have a superiority complex that only gets further in as he goes farther in the horcrux path, (greatest wizard of all time, etc). Although it’s assumed that he’s already created his first horcrux and the after effect is the diary, but we actually don’t know. I do wonder if this kind of overly confident shade of him was done after he split his soul in a two or if it was him naturally.

He also, has this clear fear of death that is why he created the horcrux assumably, but this is likely onset by the blitz and his want to stay at Hogwarts full-time (which is such an interesting parallel between him and Harry it’s obvious that they are supposed to be parallel characters, but the direct comparison between two scared children is truly fascinating and how dumbledore deals with it is eye-opening).

All that I have talked about are most of the actual facts surrounding Tom Riddle and his youth, but I also do have opinions. It’s clear that because of his Muggle-sounding name (riddle isn’t on the pure blood 28 list and likely not recognizable to purebloods) that he was probably treated badly in his first years before he could gain real power (from his studies and his heritage). I do wonder what he did if there was people that did that to him? Did he try to take revenge on them, or did he just rely on the fact that he is superior to them (in insert ways) so he cannot be harmed by them.

What i find interesting, that I feel like a lot of fans misinterpret, is his personal beliefs. It’s assumed that he hated muggles & muggleborns to an extent, he talks about filthy Muggles, blood purity, and all of his politics hinge around those ideals. He clearly goes with pureblood ideology, and he leads a pseudo cult that is about exterminating muggles & muggleborns from society. But, he is a halfblood. which makes me wonder what was his true reason for doing all of this. Since to truly believe these ideals, he would have to consider himself lower than purebloods, something that he would never do. Was it for power, a mix of both or did he just kind of turn insane after too many splitting of a fundamental part of him? Also ends up working with multiple magical creatures, such as werewolves, and dementors making me believe either that was a false agreement, or he believes them to be semi-equals, which is also contradictory to the rest of the pure blood beliefs. It’s a question I can’t answer but undoubtably his blood & origin makes a major impact on his decisions, especially regarding Halloween and the prophecy.

Overall, he is a fascinating character to examine in his youth, and although I think we make too much distinction between him and Voldemort, since they are truly two sides of the exact same coin and acting like they are different people is smoke and mirrors, I feel that if we don’t distinct between them, we will lose a lot of interesting discussions. Tom did make the decision to split his soul, but did he actively participate in some of the stuff father along when more horcruxs were made? Or was that only Voldemort? When does the line between Tom riddle and Voldemort begin to blur and when does it fade? Ultimately, Tom is a good jumping point to wonder about choices in life. For how much emphasis Dumbledore places on the power of love, I truly think choices and decisions ruled the difference between Harry and Tom because they were in essence so so similar yet so different and that’s what makes me interested in the both of them.

if any of you liked this one, I’ll do dumbledore and Voldemort (or I’ll do it out of my own volition when I get too bored lmao)

#albus dumbledore #harry potter meta #harry potter #harry james potter #tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #meta #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #harry potter and the deathly hallows #harry potter and the chamber of secrets #rubatosisism.meta

12 notes · View notes

darkfictionjude · 6 months

Note

What if in a AU were Dr. Madorna and MC were a couple, the first comes to the town to visit her lover. How would the ROs in deep crushing stage and family with Orla react.

Damn nonnie this au came completely out of left field (I keep getting doctor Madorna AUs which is odd since she only showed up once 💀)

although if they were lovers you bet the doctor is losing her licence because that is professionally immoral 😭 (there’s also that she knew mc since they were around 16 and she’s like in her late 40s…)

Let’s say mc is in their 20s

Imre:

Immediately when they see this he begins looking into her professional history. He comes over and debates her over proper medical care and diagnoses. Then someone calls the medical board about an inappropriate relationship between a certain doctor and her patient. Oops, if mc needs comfort he’ll be there.

Nia:

She’s gets a deep puncture in her chest and to get rid of it she decides to find other patients of the doctor’s and pay them off to tell the police some “creative embellishments” about how inappropriate the doctor was to them and look at that the doctor gets arrested but Nia feels so sorry for you, she wonders how this could’ve happened *wink*

Lorcan:

He at first tries to tell the doctor that she needs to stay away from mc or something bad will happen but somehow the doctor ends up having a therapy session with Lorcan and he leaves the house so disturbed about being so throughly analyzed he keeps coming back for therapy. He decides not only will it help him but the more he keeps the doctor away from mc the better.

THE CROWNS

Victor: who is this? Your doctor? Is this gonna cost me? No? Well as long you take care of them I don’t care (and no he doesn’t mean he’s happy mc is being loved more so he’s happy he doesn’t have to take care of them)

Prudence: she hates doctors, especially ones who deal with mental health issues. She thinks anyone who goes into that profession must have something wrong with them. Also it’s embarrassing to date your own doctor. She bans her from the premises.

Sally: he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He thinks this is unhealthy. He thinks the doctor is taking advantage of you. But… you’re happy so he gives his blessing.

Percy: *cue dr. Frankstein and his monster jokes* and then he asks if they can give him a prescription for adderall

Orla (alive era): she makes sure everyone knows so they can make fun of you. And tries to break into the doctor’s briefcase for personal files

#anon asks #Imre #Nia #Lorcan #the crowns #Victor #prudence #salvatore #percival #Orla #dr. madorna #we wretched creatures

20 notes · View notes

ask-the-clergy-bc · 1 year

Note

AAAHHHH can you write some headcannons for the papas helping a depressed partner??

Happy to write this but always like to say a few things when it comes to this particular subject.

You're never alone and there is no shame in asking or seeking help. You don't have to suffer alone, and there is love and support for you during these hard times.

I hope these head canons can bring comfort to anyone who is just having a tough time mentally, right now.

Trigger Warnings for talks of Mental health, depression, depressive symptoms, and talks of doctors/medication.

Further Disclaimer: Every individual with depression has different symptoms and experiences. We all have our own needs and ways support helps us. This will not cover every experience, but I hope it covers a good general range. Thanks!

Papas Supporting Their S/O With Depression

Papa Nihil: Despite not having the best medical knowledge, Nihil knows depression and how it has affected many of his friends in life. Seeing you, his partner, be affected by it makes him sit down and actually learn all he can. Yes, he was always the supportive friend and mentor in his time as Papa. You couldn't be Papa without helping those in need. But it's different now that it's someone so important to him. Nihil makes it a point to sit down with you when you have the energy. The fancy medical text books and blogs can only tell you so much. Nihil knows only YOU know how you feel. That's the root of his faith after all, trusting your own mind and sense. So that's where he truly wants to start and support you! He asks how do YOU feel and what YOU are personally going through. Truthfully, it was nice for someone to ask and not just ASSUME you are having all typical depression symptoms.

You're also a bit flattered that Nihil is protective of you during initially working to feel better. He'd eat his own saxophone before jumping to conclusions that you were going to hurt yourself, or that 'he knew what was better for you.' Nihil trusts you and whatever path you want to take. Just know if it's seeking professional help you'll get the best, and if you felt like your doctor was dismissing you well... the doctor is going to have to deal with a lot of ghouls in their work place. Other than that, he will be by your side as long as you need him. He isn't a doctor, but he loves you with all of his being. So he will be there to carry you when you can't stand.

Papa I: His support is often very gentle yet firm, and goes at your pace. Papa will never force you to 'just get over it' or 'try to be better'. Actually, he often hates blind optimistic or overly cynical approaches to mental health. Neither are helpful, and he'd refuse to subject you to them. Papa is more prepared to ask you what you'd need, and WHEN you'd need it. Maybe one day you need his help entirely, and other days you don't want him messing with your progress! Either way, he's an unwavering presence. As a magic and faith user who supports medical advice, Papa would help shape some aspects of your daily routine to alleviate some of your symptoms. Anything that just makes getting through the day with less stress and hassle. It's slow but steady, but it makes life so much easier!

You find you like him not verbally reminding you to keep with your meds. Instead he incorporates them wordlessly with breakfast or lunch. Instead of energy drinks, he offers hand blended teas he uses from his own garden (He loves a good holistic approach when appropriate in his own aging body.) They are a good way to get a bit of energy and calm down. Papa encourages you to join him for some daily tasks- whether that's a small errand you can run together or a small activity. He worries about a lack of stimuli for you and tries to keep you out of bed as much as possible. But he will never force you. Instead he uses his deep and comforting voice to ask you join him just once. Most importantly? When you have no energy, he let's you rest. Let's you sleep it off because that's your body telling you what you need.

Papa II: I've often said that Papa II always has a tough time with issues he can't fix by punching them in the face. And trust me, if he could punch your depression he absolutely would. Papa keeps to himself how much he HATES watching you struggle. Because sulking about it on his end isn't helpful and he'd never put that burden on you. Instead, Papa tries to do his best to support you where he is needed and wanted. If you looked closely at your daily life, he does subtle things to make your life easier. Encourage you to get up with him in the guise of needing company, cooking to see if you'd eat because he took time to make it, or even just making small comments of 'Oh, I need my vitamin. Do you want me to grab your antidepressant?'

For big things, he goes where he is needed. Papa would be loathed to make you ever feel like you didn't have autonomy even on your low days. So you have discussions about it often. Papa and you have decided that, outside of emotional support, he would get more staff to help with daily tasks. And you appreciate it on days you just can't do anything. What you even cherish more is him always reassuring you that having help DOES NOT make you a burden or useless. Everyone needs a little extra help. And if that means hiring a ghoul or sibling to do some laundry or make food, then by Lucifer, he's going to hire the entire convent! And he'd be BLESSED before he let you feel like it wasn't ok to need support! Papa is always a strong rock for you.

Papa III: Papa has never told anyone about his own struggles with mental health. He's had some pretty bad lows in his life. So he knows exactly what you are going through, and he fucking hates seeing you like this. If it was up to him he'd take it all away and keep you safe. But life is not the fairy tale he'd like it to be. So Papa resolves to do what he always wished someone would do for him; be there to support you unconditionally. Papa offers this in MANY ways. But the most important one he wants to convey to you (should you be open to it) is just making sure you know you are NEVER alone. That, and letting you know you are such a precious person to him and you are NOT broken. Because truthfully, that's all he ever wanted for his own battles.

Papa does everything he can for you, whenever you want. His best expertise is letting you talk it out. Getting out all of your numbness, your fears, and even some of the events that triggered your depression. Other times, he tries to keep you occupied- even if it doesn't necessarily bring you joy. Just something to keep your mind off of how awful you feel AND knowing you have a safe person to do it with. Sometimes these are walks, sometimes these are cheesy horror movies, and even more they are just small activities to do together. Anhedonia was the worst for him, and Papa believes finding some sprinkle of joy in life is a good start to hanging on. For him back in the day it was finding he likes writing. So he's happy to help you discover what brings that spark back for you.

Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: Copia is a well known pillar of strength in his flock, even before ascending to Papacy. But it's distressing to him to learn that you, his beloved, has this problem. If it wasn't for the fact he has done this so much he wouldn't feel qualified to help you. But Copia REFUSES to throw a pity party for himself, especially when it's YOU who needs the help! So he's going to be there for you as the best partner he can be! Starting with encouraging you to seek professional help. Copia will always be there as a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on, but he knows his limits. One day when you mention you were considering medical intervention, he sat with you and encouraged you gently. Copia explains all the benefits to you and offers to go with you to your appointment. Even sheepishly he has had to do the same before. He won't be ashamed to admit he's had his own battles with anxiety.

Copia does what he can to assist you when needed. Sometimes he brings you to his office on less busy days so you can have some work. It takes your mind off of matters without being overwhelming. Copia makes all the time for you he can so you don't have to be alone. (or if you want space he gives you all of it you need between checking on you once in a while.) Copia is very big on sticking to professional recommendations, as the routine helped him control his anxiety a bit more. He offers his advice (when asked) and is happy to do tasks with you. With his Papa connections too he gets the best therapist when you ask, and will refuse to stop looking until you find one you have the best chemistry with. A bit over the top? Yes. But you're worth it to him, and he will do whatever he can to see you beat this.

#the band ghost #ghost headcanons #ghost bc #reader insert #reader x papa #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus ii #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #papa nihil #trigger warning #depression #reader with depression #mental health #comfort

65 notes · View notes