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#I don't want to get anymore misunderstanding which is not even my fault
byun-slug · 4 months
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Hello.
So it caught my attention that some people were asking if particular Roblox users or groups are me, or a product was made by me.
No, I didn't at all. I don't make ANY kind of profit using my TDoI(The Devices of Infection) AU stuff.
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And all of those users or groups that people showed to me were not even me nor the group I've made. I'm not even playing Roblox regularly in the first place, and I turn that game on only when my friends asking to play together, nothing related with my TDoI(The Devices of Infection) or TF2 AU stuff at all.
As well as The Devices of Infection/TDoI stuff is my personal project. I've never made ANY kind of clan relations or asked people to join the team or the project or something. It's literally my personal animation I work on whenever I have free time to do. I don't have ANY plan to make or collab with others' AU for this project.
I would like to keep my TDoI stuff as on my own only instead of collab with others. It also means if you have seen anyone who involved their project with mine, that's NOT what I was participated or asked at all. It was done without asking me anything about it.
It also caught my attention that people uploaded my official channel to their Roblox profile. I'm not sure if that affects to the other people as well but If you find any user or the group that have YouTube channel directly to my channel and even marked as "My Channel" or trying to impersonating me, That is NOT ME at all.
Like I said, I play Roblox only whenever my friends asked me to play that game so I don't and won't have any plan to advertise my AU or animation stuff in Roblox at all.
And if anyone who did it and reading this to impersonate me, I would like respectfully ask you not do to it. I don't want to get any kind of misunderstanding.
Thank you for reading. Have a good day.
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facefullofsadness · 5 months
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psychopathic but it's okay
band!au (lsfm girlies but in a band and y/n is the 6th member)
guitarist!yunjin x bassist!y/n
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prompt - you and yunjin are always arguing and after one argument, the latter has had it with you
content - smut (choking, degradation, overstimulation, slapping, handcuffs, cunnilingus, fingering, tribbing, multiple orgasms, jen kinda forces you into it), angst (harsh language, toxic, arguments, yelling), fluff if you squint hard
wc - 4405
author's note at the end :)
how many times just in this week have we argued already? I can't remember.
to say yunjin and I were toxic would be an understatement. it could be something wildly insignificant, but it wouldn't matter, we would be at each other's throats.
like last week when she told me to get the receipt for the takeout I ordered with kazuha and I forgot it. more like zuha did, but obviously, it was my fault because yunjin said it was.
and throughout this entire week we had been shouting at each other. any small inconvenience or misunderstanding, you name it, we argued about it. misplacing a hairbrush, accidentally eating someone's share, taking the wrong person's keys, showing up late to a meeting or practice. it was exhausting.
I can't even recall the last peaceful moment I had with this girl. it's been months of this dreadful and perpetual conflict that seemed to emerge out of nowhere, but it made me resent her in a way that I hated her guts.
I absolutely despise the way she thinks, her cocky attitude, her nonchalant responses, her dismissive demeanor, she drives me fucking insane.
which leads me to this moment, yelling at each other because she's playing ahead of the band.
"jen, play slower. you're fucking 2 seconds ahead of everyone else," I grumble, frustrated.
"oh whatever y/n, you try playing this shit. all you do is play the same bass line for 3 minutes straight," yunjin rolls her eyes back at me.
I close my eyes and bite my tongue, not wanting it to escalate, especially with the members around, "just play slower."
somehow, we moved on and all continued to practice. but this asshole never fixed her timing issue.
"yunjin, play slower!" I interrupt our practice again to yell at the girl.
she snaps her head at me, "fuck you y/n! I'm literally trying."
"but you're not though? because how are you still fucking off beat when we've been practicing this shit for weeks?!"
"oh my god, give me a break. you're so stuck up, sorry if I don't practice till the break of dawn everyday like you do. unlike you, I actually have a life, I don't have time to be a bratty perfectionist like you."
out of the corner of my eye, I see our youngest eunchae start to wanna speak up, but our leader chaewon stopping her from trying. with that, all the girls leave the room quietly as my blood boils at the words the raven-haired girl is throwing at me.
"I'm fucking stuck up? imagine having a career, THE dream job, and not even trying. you act like I don't have a goddamn life either jen, it's not my fault that I'm not lazy like you are."
the taller girl slings the guitar off her shoulder and aggressively puts it down before stomping up to me.
"I don't wanna hear your bossy mouth utter another word about my work ethic bitch. you're only so fussy about this because you don't have anything else in your life to look forward to."
"your sorry excuses are no use anymore yunjin. stop acting like you're the best when you're no better than an amateur, you're literally only here because there was no one else."
"did you want that to sting? sorry princess but that only works if it's the truth, we both know you all need me here. without me, you're nothing."
I clutch the strap of my bass and swing it off my body, immediately grabbing the collar of yunjin's shirt and pushing her back into the keyboard piano, making the stand shake.
"listen to me and listen fucking well. I can make you leave the band and you can act like it doesn't matter to you but I know you'll be devastated. I know you're just a scared little girl, too intimidated by the outside world to actually quit. you may not be scared of me which is why you don't try, but I'm exhausted of you trying to have power over me when you're just a weak sorry bitch who your parents are ashamed to care for anymore."
I struck it where it hurts because not only did I not care about if she would loathe me for my words, but I wanted it to.
suddenly, I'm being manhandled until my back falls against the couch in our practice room, yunjin's weight pressing me down. my hands struggle to push her off and break free, but her stronger grip grabs both of my wrists and pins them above my head against the arm rest of the sofa.
"fuck off of me jen!" I yell at her, body wriggling under her own.
her free hand suddenly takes hold of my neck and squeezes, forcing my throat to let out a struggled squeak and breath.
"shut the fuck up whore! I'm so tired of your yapping!" the girl above me growls and tightens her hold on both my wrists and neck.
I look up at her with fear growing in my eyes, and I can see the pure rage on her face. I'm incapable of moving my arms and hands free of her iron grip, and it steadily gets harder to breathe as I feel her nails, though short, dig into my skin.
"you're insufferable. you think I'm a weak sorry bitch with no power over you, huh? let me remind you otherwise since you're too braindead to remember how strong I am."
yunjin's gaze is wild. the fire in her eyes has no sign of calming and the clench in her jaw as she lowers her face towards mine doesn't release any tension. but as she nears herself and comes unfathomably close, there's no denying the lust that clouds her dilated pupils.
as my breathing becomes impossible and I get lightheaded, my senses increase and I can hear my own heart pounding in my ears. I can also hear her shaky breath and feel it reach my face. her knee in between my thighs presses against my core and I release a choked whimper.
"I'm gonna treat you like my own sex toy and you're gonna want me to fuck your brains out after I lay waste to your body. you are gonna be my fuck doll and you're gonna love every second of it, you hear me? dirty little slut."
I'm simultaneously terrified of the intensity and escalation of the situation, but I'm also unbelievably horny at this point. the ache in between my legs grows hot and I feel it start to throb with the way her knee digs deeper into my core.
"I can't..." I manage to choke out, pleading with the darting of my eyes focusing on her face and between her intense glare.
yunjin eventually releases tension on my throat, and I can breathe again, oxygen slowly enabling itself to run through my lungs again. the lustful stare never wavers, however, and both of our gazes are fixed on each other's eyes.
"I don't care if you can't take it, I'm gonna make you."
with that, she moves her hand, once choking my neck, and grasps around it, fingers clutching my nape, her head diving in to begin leaving sloppy kisses trailing my jaw downwards. the pressure on my airways is gone, but my breath still stops in my throat as her mouth kisses, sucks, and bites harshly at my neck.
"w-wait... don't do t-that..." I stutter, telling her to slow down or stop.
"shut the fuck up." she growls aggressively against my ear, "I'm gonna have you however I want."
there's no room for protest as I feel the hand on my neck trail down my collarbone and between my breasts, her finger circling around my right boob and going inwards, finally pinching the nipple at the middle.
"nghh.." the noise in my throat releases on its own.
"my little slut, so easy to use. why else wouldn't you wear a bra under such a mesh shirt? you wanted this so bad, didn't you?"
the treatment of my boobs and nipples harshens as she's suddenly slapping her hand against them, watching as they jiggle under my thin shirt. I yelp out in pain, still feeling my core rush with wetness.
"you're wearing too much," yunjin scoffs.
her hand pops open all the buttons of my shirt and fingers return to harassing my hard buds. my body struggles under her again as her tongue drags along my neck and across my collarbone, the sharp bites of her teeth occasionally making me tug at the harsh grip at my wrists again.
the noises of her mouth on my skin are so wet, I can even hear her heavy breathing and small moans escape, intensifying the pleasure building in my lower stomach. I can't help but release a deep groan at one of my abused nipples being enveloped by her needy mouth.
"f-fuck.. no, s-stop- ahhhh..." I try to get out.
my words are drowned out by the sounds of my whimpers growing louder and the slurping of my tit in her mouth. my eyes struggle to keep open, watching her tongue flick around my bud, yunjin switching to my other boob, repeating everything all the same.
"can you stop moving? god, I'm doing something here and your flailing is infuriating." she let's out a frustrated huff before detaching completely from my body, reaching for something underneath the couch.
my hands are free for a second before I feel cold steel capture my wrists, cuffing them together and securing them on a pipe against the wall.
"so much better." she states satisfied before bringing both her hands to slap both of the sides of my boobs.
I let out an unstable shout at the stinging pain that followed, and it only continued as she grasped at my chest with both hands and kneads at them needily.
"jen... please, ahhh.." I whimper out.
"huh? what was that y/n? you need to speak up for me." she continues her abuse on my tits as my eyes water.
"it hurts..." I manage.
"oh is that so? too bad I don't really care. after all, if I were weak, it wouldn't hurt so much right?" yunjin says in a mocking tone.
her hands become aggressive, dragging themselves down my body and grasping hard at my waist, squeezing my thighs, before landing a harsh slap on my ass, one side, then the next.
"yunjin ah! please! fuck, it hurts..."
"a powerless little girl like me shouldn't be able to harm you, right y/n-ie?"
fuck you huh yunjin.
my eyes are still squeezed shut as I feel her start to unbuckle my pants and zip them down, taking my jeans off of me. my core is absolutely throbbing with desire, panties soaked.
she places a finger at the hem of my underwear, dragging the digit down, trailing my mound, to my aching clit, through my leaking entrance, then pinching the material and letting it snap back into place, warranting a shiver down my spine at the feeling.
"I should've known a whore like you would be drenched after all that. you kick and whine about how much it hurts but look at how much you fucking love it."
it's hard to argue with her when the anticipation to feel her relieve my desire grows stronger the more she messes with me.
"don't worry darling, I'll ruin you perfectly."
I feel my panties get pushed to the side before a hot and wet muscle is felt at the base of my entrance trailing up slowly, until there's a hard suck at my bundle of nerves.
"fuckkkkk ahhhh!!!" I let out an involuntary scream at the feeling.
god it feels so good, my eyes squeezed shut as her onslaught of eating me out continues, hard and fast. she bends my knees and forces my legs apart, holding my thighs so she has free reign of my pussy.
"mmm, it's in the way," I hear her mumble before a loud tear is heard, assumedly from my panties.
I could care less when she sucks hard with her mouth over both my clit and hole, tongue darting between circling my bundle of nerves and digging into my pussy. I tug hard at my restraints, wanting so badly to grasp her luscious dark hair and push her into me.
my hips move on their own, trying to grind against her mouth, but they fail when yunjin's hands push my thighs apart again and she wraps her arms around them, hands on my waist. I force my eyes open and look down at her, what a sight.
her eyes are closed, and she looks peaceful. so unlike the rapid and desperate licking, sucking, and moaning coming out of her sinful mouth. the grip on my waist is firm but so gentle, her thumbs rubbing softly against my skin. she only takes a hand off of my waist to run fingers through her hair, pushing it back to have all the room she needs to indulge in my waterfall. yunjin definitely craved this more than me.
moans continued to slip out of my mouth, fueling her on.
"you're so delicious, this pussy is mine," I feel her mumble against my lips though still audible.
"fuck me jen, more more more, ahhh, yes, keep going just like that, oh my god!!!"
I was about to shut my eyes again until she looked up at me. through half lidded eyes, it almost looked like they were completely black, pupils so blown it was hard to tell if she was human. the desire was so fiery in her eyes and looking up at me only drew her in further, digging her face into my pussy.
her tongue dug impossibly deep into my hole, flicking wildly inside of me, making me arch my back in immense pleasure. her nose rubbing against my hot clit contributed to the build up of my impending climax.
the hold on my waist tightened, securing my hips down to the sofa, her eyes closed again as I shut my own as well, the noises coming from a mixture of my leaking pussy and her lewd slurping were indescribably orgasmic, the desperate moaning slipping from both of our mouths were borderline embarrassing if it weren't for our soundproof walls covering the sounds of sin.
"jennifer oh my god fuck fuck please, shit. b-baby... I'm, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum sosososo hard..." I rambled.
I heard as I continued to incoherently mumble anything that came to mind as I felt her grip on my waist start to hurt, nails digging into my skin, making my lower half impossible to move.
"give me your cum now, let me drink you," yunjin says with the sexiest most raspy voice I've heard from her.
a low moan from deep in her throat against my pussy vibrates against my clit, her tongue thrusting into my hole repeatedly at insane speeds. it was so overwhelming and more than enough to launch me over the edge.
my vision disappeared, my body shook viscerally, my mouth fell open and loud screaming came out of it as I orgasmed with so much pleasure. I felt my pussy gush cum into yunjin's expectant mouth, her tongue continuing to flail in me. I struggle hard against the restraints still, feeling my wrists sting with every tug. I can't think straight, my body shaking with every wave of pleasure that runs through me.
I fall limp, my head shaking left to right and mumbles coming out of my mouth. yunjin calms her pace and gives kitten licks up and down my slit, lapping up any other juices I released that she missed. her grip on my waist loosens, and they caress my sides carefully. she makes her way up to meet my face, planting abnormally soft kisses in her wake, her hands softly caressing my red skin. all the slap markings, all the bites, all the hickies, all the nail marks, spots red, spots bloody, her touch eases the pain.
"y/n..." she whispers against my ear, making me shiver.
I can't even open my eyes as the exhaustion hits me hard. I hear her mess with the pipe and cuffs around my wrists before I feel my hands fall against the arm rest again, freeing my arms finally. yunjin picks both of them up and places gentle pecks all around both wrists, slowly spreading her comfort across my entire body.
"jen..." a croak somehow comes out of my mouth.
"baby..." her voice, gentle...
"are you okay angel?" she whispers loud enough for me to hear.
my heart stops beating but resumes at the speed of sound after a moment.
I can't respond, and so she comes closer to my face and cups my cheek with a careful hand, intently observing my expression and condition. I feel her thumb softly caress my bottom lip and her stare fall onto my slightly open mouth.
"I.. I'm..." I can't form another word as the exhaustion catches up and my eyes fall shut.
every other sense of mine is alert, I'm still fully conscious, but my eyes refuse to open, they simply can't. I feel yunjin come closer to me then suddenly small kisses tracing my jaw, lips against my ear.
"you can rest y/n-ie, I'll do the rest."
wait, what?
her hand that was once on my face trails down my body, tracing over all the marks again, before her slender fingers slip between my folds, causing my entire body to jolt.
"jen?!" I shriek out, my hands flying to grip her arms.
"shhh, just relax. I told you already, you're just my little sex toy, I need to get my usage out of you."
fuck, I should've known she was feigning generosity.
I had no time to respond as after gathering enough of my cum from my last orgasm, yunjin swiftly slips two fingers into my tired cunt.
"FUCK!" I scream out.
my body reacts on its own, shaking against her warm body leaning against me.
"you've got another one in you, don't you?"
her pace picks up quickly, my pussy burning at the speed. suddenly, her thumb rubs harshly against my overstimulated clit, causing me to cry out.
"t-too much! please!" I sob into her shoulder.
yunjin's body hovers over mine, holding me close. one of my hands gripping her arm pumping in and out of me, the other clutching the back of her shirt, my face wet with tears flowing in her shoulder, melting into her neck.
"you should've thought about that before you talked shit huh?"
"I- I can't!"
"I already told you I don't fucking care y/n, how many times do I have to say it?"
I feel my own tears stain the taller girl's shirt as her fingers ram into my abused hole over and over again, pulling out all the way just to slam back into me again. I scream intensely when a third finger is added, immediately hitting that euphoric spot inside.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant between every pump of her swift fingers.
"you truly make the perfect little cum slut don't you?"
"jen, ah, ah, ah, please, fuck..."
"what is it baby? feel it coming again?"
I moan out an incomprehensible 'yes' in response, to which I feel yunjin smile against my forehead, planting a sweet peck.
"beg me angel, beg me to keep fucking you until you cum."
my eyes roll back into my head, tears still spilling out and hands gripping for dear life. even if I wanted to beg, I don't think I'm physically capable.
her fingers still inside of me, stopping her movement on my pussy entirely, even on my clit. I whine loudly in response, legs shaking and grip tightening on her.
"no no please yunjin, I- I need you, I need you to keep fucking me. I need to finish, I need your fingers, I'm so close jinny, please please, god please let me cum. I can't, I can't take it, it hurts, it hurts so bad, jen oh god please, don't fucking stop. I need you to keep going, please don't stop now, please please jen-"
my rambling is interrupted by her fingers pounding into my cunt once again, with impossible speed, making my throat strain with another uncontrollable scream of pleasure.
"let it go, give it to me y/n. I want to feel it gush around me again, I need to feel your body fall apart."
and just as quickly as it started, it ended. an explosion of euphoria ripples through me again, I feel goosebumps form on my skin as I moan deafeningly, my fingers sinking into yunjin's body and holding on for dear life. her fingers continue to get sucked into me, clenching hard onto her long digits as she rubs my clit still.
"yes, that's my girl, give it all to me."
my body is shaking, with every subtle touch yunjin does to me, it reacts. my mouth stays open as I can feel the saliva drool out, my eyes barely open but it's no use, it's not like I can see anything clearly.
"your body is just meant for this y/n, I was right. my perfect little angel, the best fuck doll for me."
her fingers slip out of me and I grunt at the loss of fullness. out of the very small field of view I have, I watch as she sucks the juices off her fingers, closing her eyes and savoring the flavor, licking up each of them one by one.
"you're doing so well, but baby..." she leans in and mumbles against my lips, "give me one more."
there's no room for resistance as she moves to get into position. what a menace huh yunjin is. she already knows I'm fucked out of my mind that I'm physically incapable of doing anything. I've always been really sensitive and she's using that weakness against me ten fold.
I try my best to pay attention to what she's doing, watching as she slides her shorts and panties down her legs, the two articles of clothing absolutely soaked. she gets on top of me again and lifts one of my legs up, wrapping it around her waist, her straddling my pussy with her own, interlocking our legs.
"it's finally my turn. fuckkk..."
she moans out as she starts to grind her pussy against mine. every thrust makes my body jolt with overstimulation, I don't know how to take it anymore.
however, watching huh yunjin roll her hips against me, her hands placing my own on her waist, watching as she throws her head back and sweat drips down her long neck, my pleasure grows again. the woman looks ethereal riding me, using my body to get off, it's unreal how delectable watching her fuck me is.
"f-faster, h-harder, jen..." both of us look surprised when I manage to speak.
a sinister smirk crawls and spreads across the aforementioned woman's face, hands on my thighs tapping in approval, "of course darling, who am I to deny?"
and so she fucks me harder, so much harder. so much fucking faster. I immediately see stars and the squelching lewd noises of our sopping cunts fill my ears, accompanied by the pornographic moans from both of us. I feel the rhythmic pattern of yunjin's hips rolling against me with my hands on her waist.
I pull her forward against me, thrusting my own hips up into her, gaining leverage and screaming out in pleasure as our clits bump repeatedly because of this.
"fuck y/n! you're so good at this, don't... don't you dare give out on me right now, you feel too fucking incredible."
the girl above me has her head down facing my own, eyes screwed shut, face scrunched up looking focused, mouth hanging open. one of my hands feel up her body, trailing up her covered front and grazing her nipples, eliciting a groan to come from her throat. my hand cups her cheek and pulls her closer to my face, making her open her eyes and make eye contact with me.
we stare straight into each others' eyes, observing the expressions on our faces, memorizing the view forever. I hate this girl so much, I hate her with my entire being, but she's beautiful, she's goddess-like, and she's absolutely perfect in my trembling hands, looking into my eyes like I'm the only one in her world.
yunjin leans in to finally kiss me, plump and soft lips roughly clashing against my own. I desperately chase to reciprocate the passion she pushes into my mouth, forcing my tongue into her and ramming it down her throat, making her moan out. her mouth feels like heaven on earth as I melt into her delicious strawberry flavored lips, tongue and her saliva tasting like all the cum she sucked out of my cunt just moments prior.
her thrusts become sloppy and I feel my hole start to clench around nothing as we moan into each others' mouth.
"cum with me love, cum with me, please baby, I need you." her voice shaky and sounding vulnerable.
I open my eyes one last time to look up at her, eyes getting watery too. I take her bottom lip into my mouth and pull away with my teeth, letting it go with a pop.
"I'm cumming love, I'm cumming..." I warn her.
I pull her into me and hug her, embracing her tightly as she painfully grips my thighs, stilling her hips and feeling her warmth leak all over my pussy. I moan along with her, screaming out in blinding pleasure, my heat flooding both of our thighs and running down my legs, onto the couch under.
she collapses on top of me, her entire body weight covering me completely. I snuggle my face into her neck, placing soft kisses around every area I could reach.
"are you okay?" I ask softly into her ear.
I'm met with no response but soft breathing near my ear. I peer over to look at her face and she's out cold.
I giggle softly at the gorgeous woman sprawled out on top of me, legs intertwined, cum running down our legs, her lips bruised and red.
"I think I won this argument jennifer."
a/n - i'm just realizing that this barely had any actual band dynamics or anything and that makes me sad bc i love that shit so much. sob, oh well maybe another time (part???). my first idea for this concept was slow down by chase atlantic but then i switched it bc i feel like i could write a better plot for the lyric i orginally chose so stay tuned mayhaps in the future. anyways, hiiiii first post pls don't bully me tumblr is foreign land to me but writing is not though I haven't written in months 😙 enjoy first fic w my actual gf (like actually fr fr huh yunjin is my gf she proofread this-)
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writing-for-life · 6 months
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Hey Dear. I highly admire your wisdom and opinions around The Sandman Universe and I’d love to come back to Morpheus’ end and his long way to his fatal fall. Even if he has chosen to go down this road, with all of these alternative exits along his way I still wonder: It all started with that wonderful allegory of „Seeking Destruction“ in Brief Lives. Maybe Neil’s quote „You cannot seek Destruction and return unscathed“ is a key or hint to the question who wanted to destroy Dream? Is it really possible that our good old endless friends Destruction is the one behind? That even when he left his realm it’s still his nature, to destroy (Morpheus) and make something new?! Loki the great manipulator talked about a higher instance that uses him. Was it Destruction? Could he has done it out of what… incomprehension towards Dreams way to rule his own realm or just because of being… destructive?!
Adding as usual: Send me your asks, everyone—I love them!
Thank you so much, friend, and such good questions!
Honest answer: No one truly wanted to destroy Dream apart from Dream himself. Even Desire, who is arguably most out to get him, didn't really in my view. Did they want to teach him a lesson? Yes. Did they want to hit him where it hurt? Also yes. They are just diametrically opposed despite being surface level similar. But when Desire notices it is truly happening, that Dream is on a path with no backing out, they are scared and fairly close to losing their bearings. And their speech during The Wake shows that they just wished they hadn't been in each others' lives and might have both been better for it. Also: They even tried to warn him at the beginning of Brief Lives. And they told Tiffany about it, too. For Desire, the A Midsummer Night's quote also comes true (and how funny is it that we get an explicit mention of both desire and dream here?:
They only see the prize, their heart's desire, their dream... But the price of getting what you want, is getting what you once wanted.
They think they want to destroy Dream (or maybe not even that. It's really cosmic level "throwing dummies out of the pram" with them. They need a get along shirt, is what I'm saying 🤣). But once Desire gets what they want, it's all not that clear-cut anymore.
Who is at fault or: The Endless as concepts
I guess to look deeper into who is at fault, it all boils down to really having to see the Endless as concepts, and I personally don't think it started only with Brief Lives--it started much, much earlier. At least (!) in "The Sound of her Wings"--I think people often misunderstand it solely as Death setting Morpheus' head straight and him being reminded of his function again. Which is true to a degree. But I firmly believe this is actually the issue where Morpheus decides death is his way out. She gave him "much to think about". He "hears her wings". His responsibilities can wait for a moment (that's the only time you'll ever hear him saying that).
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Dream has always been closest to Death--she gives him solace and comfort, he considers death a gift. I recommend reading the poem in issue #8 again.
Death is before me today:    like the recovery of a sick man,    like going forth into a garden after sickness. Death is before me today:    like the odor of myrrh,   like sitting under a sail in a good wind. Death is before me today:    like the course of a stream;   like the return of a man from the war-galley to his house. Death is before me today:   like the home that a man longs to see,   after years spent as a captive.
Then look at that last stanza. That is his takeaway. That is what it feels like to him. He is that man who spent years in captivity. He longs to see that home--he wants to die. It's already in plain sight here.
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And yes, all the other siblings are conceptual as well.
We meet Destiny the first time in #7, "Sound and Fury", and we already get a hint that he is worried to turn the pages of his book--which could be considered foreshadowing that it is possible for Morpheus to die (which shouldn't be the case from all we know up until there).
We meet Desire and Despair for the first time in issue 10, and while people focus a lot on Desire wanting to destroy Dream, I'd like to propose the following: Dream, at this stage, already desires death. Whether he does so consciously or subconsciously doesn’t really matter. So if we see the twins as purely conceptual, they just heard his call:
He is in a state of despair, and he desires to die.
It's always been in Dream to feel like that, for much longer. But this is where it gets really obvious. He made that choice two issues beforehand. Desire always meddles because that's what Desire does. They hear your call and make you want, no matter if it's good for you or not. We see this with literally everyone they are ever involved in. And sometimes giving one thing to someone takes something away from another. Plus, they flippin' saved the Universe with Dream, so they definitely have it in them to do good (even if not always for the most ethical reason). After the reset, they just remember flashes of the wrong (or shall I say right?) stuff, like using dream vortices to get to Dream.
He goes on a journey with Delirium in Brief Lives to seek Destruction. Why did Delirium choose him? Because he's the only one (unlike his siblings, who all sent Delirium away) who is receptive. One could think Dream is in a mildly delirious state after Thessaly left him. And that's why he is so on and off with Delirium. He has moments of clarity when he knows it's a shitty idea, when he knows it affects other people, when he calls it off because he feels responsible for Ruby's death, when he knows it isn't right. And then Death (!!!) tells him off because he "hurt Delirium", and he keeps going. He still seeks Death. And he finds Destruction.
That's all so deeply metaphorical, I don't even know where to start.
Is Destruction behind it?
No. If we subscribed to that thought, Death would actually be a much more likely culprit, but she isn't either. Or she is. Just like all the siblings are and aren't. Destruction is just what he is conceptually, just like all the other siblings are.
It is Dream himself who orchestrated all of it, consciously or subconsciously (both really). And when you look at when he meets what sibling, it all becomes really crystal clear (I actually have a meta about this in the making, I'll tag you when it's done).
If anything, Destruction wanted to help him, tell him to walk away. He says this to Daniel in The Wake as well--that there's basically a way out if he can't do it anymore. But Destruction's way is not Morpheus!Dream's way, neither is it likely to ever be Daniel!Dream's way.
So I guess conceptually yes, he destroys and hence creates something new (which ties in nicely with him visiting Daniel!Dream and actually being the first one who shows true care towards him). But the impulse always comes from Dream I think. Just like with all his other siblings.
Whenever he is closest to someone or meets one of his siblings, it tells us something about his state of mind. Is this a chicken and egg problem, as in: Does he make them do it or do they make him do it? Well, the Endless exist because sentient beings make it so, not the other way around. So he meets whomever he meets because he calls for them, so to speak. At least that's how I see it.
Who is that higher instance?
I am fairly certain that the higher instance Loki talks about is Dream himself. Loki transgressed majorly in Season of Mists, and Dream twisted his arm into a deal at the end of SoM. We never find out at that point what the deal is, but yeah--it's probably fairly safe to assume it's "that one".
Also: If Dream hadn't commissioned Shakespeare, Puck wouldn't have been on the loose.
And even in Dream Hunters (so even further back in time), he already "learned lessons"--especially about existential dread (the Onmyōji), but also about doing the right thing out of love (both the monk and the fox), even if it leads to your own demise (the monk).
And even in Overture, we get hints that he might have had an epiphany that there's another Dream in the future (that whole "time flies" panel, using the saeculum etc). Morpheus gets an inkling it might be a future version of himself that sends the saeculum back in time. How much of it he remembers and whether it is fragmented after the reset will of course forever stay a mystery; but it quite frankly doesn’t make sense that he doesn’t remember because we get too many hints he does.
Suffice it to say: He's been baiting the traps for a while (and even Death tells him so before she takes his hand), literally hundreds of years, but issue #8 is really where everything is starting to fall into place.
And that’s because the fishbowl changed him. He staved it off for as long as he could stay aloof and detached. But once he entered the realm of human experience, as Frank McConnell called it in his intro to the Kindly Ones, he was done for...
Now, whether he wanted it to happen exactly the way it did—that’s an entirely different question, because I don’t think he did. Maybe he had planned for a slightly more, shall we call it elegant exit, but he backed himself into a corner with his rigid sense of duty until the way it went remained the only way out if he wanted to prevent more damage to what he cared for—the Dreaming.
Woah, blabbering away as usual, thanks again for the ask!
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zeroducks-2 · 8 months
Note
When I see this (🤌) emoji, I don't think WTF, I think Chef's Kiss, which are completely different vibes. Honestly I didn't even know that it was used as a negative thing, if I see it somewhere I assume it's a positive. The more you know, I suppose! I'll have to make sure I don't use it anymore in my fic comments, I don't want someone to misunderstand and think I didn't like it when I did
It's because you (and many other people) mix up the "chef kiss" (which is achieved by doing the ok hand emoji, this one 👌, and kissing your thumb) and the "what the fuck" Italian gesture which is this one 🤌.
Let me provide a visual reference.
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this is a chef kiss.
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and this is the "what the fuck" Italian gesture.
That gesture is rude, you do it only if you know that the people around you won't get offended. Depending from different social contexts, it's considered borderline insulting or anyway people might think you don't have manners. Doing it to someone while angry means you're saying that the other person is full of shit, and what they're saying makes no sense (if you're ranting to a friend about something and do that gesture, it means that you think that whatever/whoever you're ranting about makes no sense or is full of shit). When I see it under an art or a fic it makes me crack up because it essentially reads as "what the fuck is this". I did laugh about it a whole lot when I found it on my fic, for sure. Obviously I understood that the commenter didn't mean anything bad, but still I assume people would wanna know if they're using a potentially offensive gesture lol.
And obviously the misunderstanding is not your fault, anon. You use it as you saw other people using it, and mine wasn't that much of a serious post anyway, it's easy to read intentions regardless of the emoji. Just know that if you're using it to mean "this is good" and OP is an Italian person, the first thing they'll think when seeing it is not what you were trying to convey.
It's the same feeling I get from something that goes more or less like this: "Oh this is awesome, I really love the emotions you poured into this art🖕" lmao
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jorisjurgen · 2 months
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43 for the jurgen-crepins? These characters have been living in my brain recently haha.
@dullard bc he also asked this, in his ask
43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?
I had to sit down and think about this bc like that's some Deep stuff here...
Joris: Has no fucking idea what Kerubim is doing most of the time. It feels like a batshit insane chessgame. Is he wanting him to wash the dishes? Is he wanting him to stay at home and going at it in the most insane way? The world may never know. He knows well if Kerubim is feeling well or not, but his intentions always elude him.
He tends to assume the worst of people in general, because of his involvement in politics, and immortality. But it's easy for him to adjust to the knowledge that someone actually meant well, because he likes to give people chances (if they're willing to take them).
Otherwise, someone he thinks of as good turning out to be bad doesn't surprise him in the least. He's involved in courts. He's seen hundreds of sweet little princes and princesses grow up into kings and queens and commit warcrimes. He will come to kingdoms, be polite, give a gift or two to the royal family, all the while thinking of how aware he is, of the possibility. Though there are times when it stings, even now, to see someone grow into a worse version of themselves.
Also, he probably has a tendency to read into parent-child relationships and being relentlessly judgemental. I think in s4 he was trying to explode Eliatrope with his mind.
Kerubim: He's blind to any bad parenting that isn't outright physical/psychological/emotional abuse. He respects helicopter moms for their Passion, he respects neglectful parents for The Freedoms they provide, and he affectionately tells Joris that they're "best friends", and all of that is like, because of Ecaflip, even though on some level he does know he was mistreated.
He's very well at social stuff, when it doesn't concern his own personal life, — because when it concerns his personal life, he is chronically convinced everyone will leave. On some level, this delusion persists even 600 years deep into the codependent nightmare blunt rotation (though now not in a "they will leave :(" way, but in a "they can't leave me even if they want to :(" way.). He carries a lot of guilt about Atcham and Joris, so, he tends to catastrophize any of their bad moods, but also — he knows that he catastrophizes, so he has to gaslight himself that he isn't anxious (he's too proud to ask for reassurance) (his cluster-b swag...)
I think every time it is brought to his attention that Joris or Atcham don't like something he did, he deflates and begins feeling violently suicidal and nauseous and in physical pain. Which isn't his fault, but is the reason Joris doesn't ever bring anything up.
Atcham: EVERYONE IS ALWAYS OUT TO GET HIM AND HE NEEDS TO SHOOT THEM BEFORE THEY SHOOT HIM AND THEY ARE LAUGHING AT HIM. Besides having homicidal thoughts towards tired store clerks because they're looking at him weird (after a 10-hour shift), and reading too much into any conflict, — I think he's bad at getting it when someone dislikes him. He'll often think that someone who's acting polite out of fear/disgust Loves him. (Bad social skills from having no friends as a child + The 'tism)
If he is informed that someone he thought liked him actually hates him, he isn't surprised. Just angry. Angry at not being told out of the gate. When he's informed that someone doesn't hate him, he's pleasantly surprised. Like "oh they're jussst... annoyed today? not becaussse of me? hm." and he thinks about it for like a week.
600 years deep into the codependent nightmare blunt rotation, he is mostly out of this never-ending paranoia nightmare (he's too happy to be thinking about this shit anymore). He still doesn't get it when someone dislikes him, but it doesn't bother him as much if he realizes he's disliked, because that person is wrong and stupid, and doesn't deserve his glorious self anyway, and if nobody got him, then Joris and Kerubim got him.
Off-topic, but 1. He's kind of like Laios in terms of social skills and being creepy and off-putting. Except our guy's special interests are dismemberment, swords, and wig making. They have the same type of "my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon 😭" autism. 2. I think he is anomalously good at detecting bad parenting that isn't physical/psychological/emotional abuse. Mostly because he likes to make fun of Kerubim, and it makes him predisposed to want to poke holes in Joris's Happy Childhood Memories. Makes him weirdly suited to give Joris DIY therapy. ("And did the sssstupid sssshelf ever fall on you? Ever sssstubbed your toe and landed on a russssty nail?" "Oh shut it-- I-- He got me vaccinated against that! After the first time" "SDDFGFAFS😭😭😭😭")
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yonderly-alamort · 2 years
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[ 𝟎𝟏 : 𝟎𝟖 ] 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒
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You couldn't tell exactly how long you had been arguing, but you wouldn't be surprised if it had been hours now. You rarely fought, and if you did it was over simple things that were settled a few minutes later. This time, however, it was of great importance, the outcome would tell the state of your friendship. It could end well or bad; you could continue to be friends and learn a great deal more about each other's insecurities or, in the worst case, you would never speak to each other again.
"How do I know you're telling the truth when you've already told so many lies?" you asked, your voice slowly breaking.
That was the problem, Suna's lies.
At first this didn't happen. It wasn't until a few months ago that he started deceiving you with what he says, breaking silly promises that only ended up deluding you.
You were tired of watching him get his heart broken over and over again. How after getting out of an unhealthy relationship he quickly got into another one without having given himself time to heal.
Every time he broke up with the partner he had at the time, he would come back to your apartment drowning in his sorrows and crying on your shoulder. He pleaded you to forgive him, that you were right and that he should have heeded your warnings. Hours later he would wipe away his tears and promise you and himself that it would never happen again.
How foolish you felt every time he proved otherwise, that his words were meaningless.
"Do you ever mean the things you say? 'Cause if you don't don't even say them. When will you tell me the truth? Please don't lie to me anymore."
You didn't understand his behavior, you didn't understand why he acted that way, or what good it did him to hurt himself so much. That was why, when you asked Rintaro for an explanation and he gave it to you, you didn't know how to respond.
"I'm still in love with you. I couldn't take your rejection and I didn't know what to do."
Now you remember. Quite some time ago, Suna got into a fight with another classmate and when you were both alone in the infirmary, he confessed his feelings for you. From the surprise you remained silent, imagining infinite scenarios with what it would be like to be in a relationship with him.
Unfortunately, Rintaro took your silence as a denial to his proposal and answered by telling you to ignore what he said. He stopped talking to you for a few days, then approached you as if nothing had happened and started dating different people.
You were hurt, but seeing that time passed and the situation was not really moving forward, you decided to move on. Still, now that you hear the reason for his actions and how it was probably all caused by a misunderstanding, you couldn't ignore your emotions.
"You know, at the time I wanted to say yes, to accept your confession, but I was too nervous and self-absorbed. That's why I kept quiet. And when you rectified yourself and said it was just a joke...well, you just kind of ripped my heart out."
After a few long minutes in silence you hear him whisper:
"Darling, you really deserve better."
"Rin, don't say that. This has all been because we didn't talk things out at the time, we hadn't cleared the air. It's not just your fault."
"I still could have done better, my actions are not justified." at this point you both already had your eyes filled with tears about to overflow.
You couldn't stand to look at him like that any longer. You quickly got up from where you were sitting and walked over to wrap your arms around him, which caused Suna's cries to get louder.
"I love you honey, you're my best friend, but you can't keep doing these things. It's not good for you or me, you don't know how it breaks my soul."
"Thank you for staying with me." it was hard for you to hear him as he had his head tucked into your neck, but when you managed to catch his words you didn't need any more to know that you wouldn't want to be separated from him.
"Alright. Let's go to sleep, tomorrow we can talk about it, okay?" giving him a soft kiss on the forehead, the two of you marching off to your respective bedrooms.
"Good night, Suna." you said before turning off the lights of the living room, wrapping your arms around his body before you had to separate.
"Good night, angel."
If you want to know more click here & you'll find all the links!
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© yonderly alamort 2022. please do not modify, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my permission.
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Text
I think I realized what an impossible task I have at my job to accomplish, and how the teachers view the library staff as a parasite.
Some of it is my fault.
But in retrospect, it's as if I sneezed loudly at a wrong moment, and now the Staff there treat me like a batman tier war criminal, and it's entirely unfair.
Example and dumb rambles of Teacher staff drama under the cut cus I'm fed up and just making this Tumblr post to vent if anything.
Today, there was a buffet potluck for Teacher staff. So I asked if I could have some. They said yes. But once I had food, they were upset I was eating "teacher staff" food and it wasn't for Library Staff.
They even sent the Elementary Guidance Councilor to tell me this. And they spoke in the same voice that they use for five year olds having a disagreement.
But this wasn't a disagreement, more of a misunderstanding.
I mean, did they think I'd eat the whole potluck? Did they want me to contribute?
I gladly would have. Heck, I could have given the parent teacher association money if that's what this was about.
I know why they treat me this way. It's because I took a few small foods from the PTO breakroom in the past without paying for them. Planning to pay back once I got my paycheck. (I'm not the only one to do this. The few teachers who I am friendly with do this all the time and assured me it was fine.)
This was over five months ago and I have since payed back the money, apologized for my mistake and misunderstanding, and have been trying to move on. As my job revolves around having good working relationship with the staff there.
So I will admit fault for my slip ups of work related hunger and poverty.
I can take responsibility for my actions, and I have sense been trying to build my relationships up since.
What I didn't appreciate was that they told me I was allowed to potluck functions, something I double checked and asked about, and made sure it was absolutely okay for me to have this food, which they said alright, then got mad when I took a small amount of food, locked me out of the breakroom, despite me having a key, and treated me like a war criminal or a Snorlax that'll eat the whole damn potluck.
Not to mention, my boss also wants me to "come up with something" to organize the library in a new way.
When they admitted personally that they don't know what they want.
So I don't know what to research.
But since I'm on probation on yet another job, I will get fired if I don't find or come up with something they want by the end of the month.
The task is impossible.
Partially self inflicted. I know I did some of this myself. But I don't think it's all self inflicted. I think it's also part of the Teacher Staff being very catty and clichey and just treating the library staff like unwanted parasites or outsiders.
And I don't think I deserve a lot of the isolation that they put me though. (I either have a choice of eating in the hallway where the library is located or a broom closet these days. And yes, the superintendent was the one who made this "compromise" so their food doesn't get "stolen" Granted, the custodians can't use the breakroom now either.... But the substitutes can.)
Either I'll quit or be fired by the end of the year.
I think I'm too autistic to have a job where building relationships and have everyone like you be part of my job description.
I feel I'm too autistic for a job anymore in general.
Anyway, long story short:
Me: oh cool. Nice food. Can I have some?
Them: sure.
Me: (eating) them: no, no. Bad girl. That's teacher food.
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mxehmzari · 1 year
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Tolerate it
“ While you were out building other worlds, where was I? Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life.”
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༉‧₊˚. Warnings : none?
༊*·˚ Tags : oneshot, angst?, Sebastian, black butler, Kuroshitsuji, gender-neutral reader, not proofread
Note : A fanfic I wrote instead of studying, inspired by Tolerate it by Taylor Swift. It's my first time writing a fic and English is not my first language, so please bear with me.
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As I watch him run his hands through his hair, grumbling about the conversation that we just had a few whiles back, it was obvious that he was upset. Mad even.
Where did this squabble even start? As far as I can recall, he came home again today at an ungodly pleasing time, being tired and pent-up about this reoccurring habit, I have finally spoken up about it.
Which he did not appreciate, not even one bit.
We used to handle disagreements so well, well…used too as time goes by, came with hurdles between us that shaken our bond. This makes me ponder, was there ever a bond in the first place?
“ What do you want me to do about it?”
Was all of this even worth it? Can this even be salvaged? All of this is coming down on to me, rethinking all the times he's been like this. Refusing to make amends. Refusing to take fault. To communicate.
“ I don't know. What do you want? “
Sebastian does not like it when I talk back. In every 'misunderstandings' that we have, he always makes it seem like everything was my fault. That I was to blame.
“ You wanted this. “ I did? I wanted this?
“ I never asked for this. I never asked for your absence, for your lack of affection. I never asked for neglect! “
With every word that comes out of my mouth, I hold myself back from raising my voice, for I know that it would only make things worse.
“ I do not know what you're talking about. I have given you everything you wanted, everything you've wished for. What else do you want?”
What else do I want? You. I want you. Though I can not say that aloud for my pride is holding me down. To add context, Sebastian has been out a lot these past few weeks. I understand it, I really do. Being a butler is no easy job, but you see. . . On his days off, he'd rather stay out than return, or sometimes he'd rather not go back home at all. I miss him, and for him to act as if it does not affect him one bit answers my debate.
“ I can't do this anymore.” I leave my place and enter my, our bedroom and grabbed a bag. I started packing my clothes and all of my other essentials, while he just stands there in disbelief.
“ You can't do what exactly? “ Unlike before, his voice and tone was less sharp and harsh.
“ Sebastian, I can't continue living like this anymore. We agreed on sticking on each other's side, and you go on leaving me all alone in this damn house. You don't even bother on coming home, either.”
I stood up, zipping my bag, it was full to the brim. Stepping out of the room, I gather as much courage, looking at this damn demon's eyes. God. I miss him. I miss him, but this is too much. It's getting too painful.
“ Sebastian. I think. . . This is for the best.”
“ Do what your heart desires. Leave.”
He remained stoic. Does it hurt him as much as it hurts me? Does he really not want this in the first place? Was I a fool into thinking that loving a demon would actually be alright? He's a demon, for fuck's sake! Was he just tolerating me? I barely even knew who he was, but I was contented. I was contented with what we have. What he had. I did not love him less.
“ I wish you well, Sebastian. Take care.” I try my hardest to not break down on the spot, to not run back to his arms and sob, to not hysterically cry on the ground. I turned around and grabbed my bag.
He did not utter a word. As I stepped out, he closed the door and with a click the door was locked.
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peacerisendove · 10 months
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Big Ethel Energy S2 Episode 25 and 26
The best thing this comic has done so far is focus on Veronica and her blooming love life because I love to see it. It's interesting , it gets away from our annoying protagonist, it gives this comic life that doesn't seem insular.
And honestly that's what you want in a comic that is about life! You want to see the surrounding environment and what's going on because when the focus is solely on your protagonist and their problems it does get tedious especially when that protagonist appears self centered, never recognizes their own faults/wrongs, and bad mouths the people around her amongst other things.
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For once something that feels extraneous and separate to Ethel and her main character life! And that is a good thing as I've mentioned!
I love something that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Ronnie is out living her life and getting interested in another man. It's very cute and wholesome how she's very into this guy without him even realizing. They're very different and it's super cute. Especially with how she genuinely wants to learn more about being more eco-friendly and not wasting.
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I feel like these bit are trying to maker Veronica come off as rude, but I don't see it that way. She feels professional and focused, even though she really wants to get to know more about Gilbert.
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Aaaaaand back to Big Ethel Drama we are.
Honestly, Betty's reaction is exaggerated. Someone else has a crush on the guy you like and said guy said no to you before? You deal with that kind of thing.
You don't own Seth.
Ethel is in a relationship and isn't going after Seth. She has a crush, but she's not going to currently act on it.
The only person Betty can be reasonably upset with is either Seth for rejecting (because it always hurts when the guy you like doesn't like you back) or herself. It's unreasonably to be mad at Ethel for something she can't control, but also isn't even a thing. She's making a mountain out of molehill and her response is exaggerated.
Though honestly, lets look at the comic, Betty has had a lot of time to be upset over Seth not liking her back, so her being mad even now is ridiculous in my opinion. She is rejected by Seth in S1 Episode Episode 50. I'm assuming it is around fall because Ethel states she was away on Holiday at the start of Season 2, so I think Betty's had more than a few months to process. The last time we heard about her opinion of Seth was S2 Episode 15, where she said: "I'm not angry at him anymore for not wanting to date me, but I'm still hurting a bit from his rejection".
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Above Image: Season 2 Episode 15
SO which is it Betty? Why do you feel so goddamn attached and possessive of a man who has no interest in dating you and who we barely see you interacting with??
And even if it's just the rejection hurting her, that gives you not right or reason to bite your friend's head off for JUST HAVING A CRUSH when she is ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND PROBABLY WON'T ACT ON IT. Betty is fueling her own fears and anxieties and that's her own fault. It's honestly just ridiculous to watch as well.
This little reaction makes her seem really entitled and childish overall, which are aspects I don't associate with the general idea of Betty's character in the Archie Universe (essentially the concept of Betty over all as someone who's read the old comics).
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-sigh- Man, I know this misunderstanding is going to blow up in Ethel's face and I genuinely feel bad for her in this instance.
Episode 26
OKAY NOW I CAN GET INTO THIS.
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GIRL NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. YOU'VE HAD SO LONG TO PROCESS YOUR FEELINGS. This is only your issue no one else's. It's truly so embarrassing and ridiculous to watch this go down.
Why is almost everyone in in this comic is so terrible? It's not even a reasonable sort of terrible you know? Yeah people get angry but it feels like drama for drama's sake.
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NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T DUMBASS. I HAVE THE RECEIPTS. FUCKING SETH POINTED THAT OUT TO YOU, YOU CALLED IT MANSPLAINING AFTER HE REJECTED YOU.
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Above: Season 1 Episode 50 (read left to right)
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Betty: "I'm sure he knew."
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GIRL. Do not put the blame on him. Even if he knew. He also clearly knew it was inappropriate, so he politely ignored or dissuaded you from it. This is not about feelings. It's about what is proper. He didn't want to take advantage of you and so he didn't.
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UGH SHE'S BEING BITCHY AND SHALLOW AND POKING AT ETHEL'S RELATIONSHIP, WHICH SHE KNOWS AS HE FRIEND IS A GENERAL SORE POINT, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE ONE. How shallow can you get? Even as a friend I wouldn't do that.
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I'm rolling my eyes ya'll. The pettiness. The idiocy of her reaction. Please go read a better comic than this.
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Why do we keep blaming people who don't deserve it? First it's Jughead now it's Seth. When and where will it end? Also crying? Seriously? How are you not pissed the fuck off? I'm pissed the fuck off and I barely like you as a protagonist. Where are the actual fights in these friendships??? All it is is crying and yelling.
Seth didn't drive a wedge between you two. You continue to not want to take responsibility or accountability, and honestly neither does Betty now that I think about it. That and what drove a wedge between you two is Betty's stupid reaction to something should have dealt with months ago. It's probably been a whole season! It's spring right now I think! Get over it! He doesn't like you!
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Goddammit. We almost have a voice of reason. He's right on the first part. It's not her fault, but we really need to stop propping up Ethel on a goddam pedestal. It's infuriating.
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She's not right!!!!!!!
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OH MY GOD.
YOU CAN SETH'S NAME A THOUSAND TIMES BUT IT'S LITERALLY NOT HIS FAULT. I am begging the author to get an editor or something. I'm begging. This is ridiculous.
(I am so upset that I hit the image limit of 30 I want you guys to see my upset Jughead reactions.)
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Me too Seth. Me too. I know she's over correcting and being so FUCKING STUPID.
...
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WHAT THE UTTER FUCK!!!!! YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID. I HATE YOU. YOU LITERALLY DID THIS WITH JUGHEAD!
GROW THE FUCK UP.
TAKE SOME GODDAMN ACCOUNTABILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS IN YOU GODDAMN LIFE.
YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ON A PEDESTAL. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE A FUCKING PROTAGONIST OF A SERIES WITH THIS KIND OF WRITING.
SETH DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG. YOU'RE MAD!!!
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theshippirate22 · 2 months
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okay so the fics i’ve got coming are a little lore heavy and i would hate my two loyal mutuals to be confused and also i just want to talk about lore so here we are
Stevens’ Family Lore
So Eliza is the oldest. There were 11 months where she was an only child, but she doesn’t remember it at all because she was an infant and then Hunter came along. Her oldest-daughter-self-loathing-premature-mom-guilt started early because he was always there.
Because they were so close in age, it was a fight for their parents’ attention and energy. They felt pitted against each other and fought like cats, even when they were just toddlers. As they got older, Eliza realized she and Hunter had incredibly similar difficult personalities, but while hers had been pounded out of her for not being ladylike or appropriate, his had only gotten worse. Often, she would have to stand between her parents‘ anger and her defiant brother’s vulnerability to save him the heartache of feeling unlovable she knew well enough, internal liberation for the bit of Hunter that lived inside of her.
And then came Matty. He was a whole three years younger than Hunter and managed to remix the genetics so much it was hard to tell if he was even related to them. Now, Eliza and Hunter have discussed their suspicions that he had a different father but they’re not brave enough to confirm anything. Matty was a mama’s boy, in a way Hunter had never been, and he was obedient and quiet. Easy.
There was an obvious favorite child. Clue: It wasn’t Hunter.
When Matty started school, their mother went back to work full-time, which meant that outside of school hours, Eliza became the mother. She figured out how to regulate Hunter’s moods through exposure and became fiercely protective of him when she realized: he wasn’t hot headed or defiant or controlling (and neither was she, for that matter)- he just had really big feelings all the time, and no healthy way to regulate them. For every time, Hunter blew up over something stupid and screamed and got difficult, there was a time when he would get so excited he could hardly control it and became the sweetest little thing. For an emotion that someone else would experience a drizzle, Hunter had a downpour.
Matty had his own slew of behavioral problems, mostly due to the fact that Eliza and Hunter were close and ostracized him for being the favorite (the age gap didn’t help) which was entirely their parents fault.
When they got to middle and high school, Hunter’s predisposition to be a problem child acted up under a system of so much authority. He caused problems and got poor grades, and his misunderstanding parents made the problem worse by getting stricter, so he only rebelled more.
Eliza recognized Hunter was overwhelmed and depressed- because she felt the same way- and this was his way of expressing it. She would stand between him and their father, screaming at his benefit, and talk him through his feelings through the locked bathroom door when Dad got him curled up on the cold tile.
She ended up starting an internship as a high school junior to get a dental hygiene license, and he would read through her homework about the same time that he was taking chemistry and realized he wanted to do something with his life, so she helped him get his GPA up so he could do his own internship, which ultimately led him to pharmacy.
Once they were both graduated, and Hunter confided something about thinking he should get out of their parents house. The next week, they bought a house out of state and left together.
They don't really talk to Matty or their parents anymore, but at least they don't feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with them when they're together. And Eliza always knows how to regulate Hunter's moods. He's learning to help with hers.
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Just because they are therapists, they are not automatically right with everything they say.
Talk to your therapist if they’re wrong. Never let yourself be intimidated or influenced by anything your therapist says if it’s not true.
One of the therapists I was with always wanted to convince me with a lot of pressure that everything is the fault of my fears etc. Of course, many of my behaviors are influenced by my illnesses, but simply not always. But she didn’t want to accept it. It didn’t fit into the cliché, the stigma. Things that I have even explained to her sometimes much too rational, she has always twisted it and wanted to convulsively convince me that subconsciously my diseases are to blame.
Spoiler: just because I have the diagnosis that I have doesn’t mean I can’t think for myself anymore. For some things this may be true, which is also due to illness, but I go to the therapist to get help. I should tell what’s going on and I should be believed. But even therapists are not free from stigma and clichés. You think it and actually it should not be so, but unfortunately no one is completely free of it. But that does not give them the reason to create problems where none are.
Because it happens too often, and I kept trying to explain to her how I see it. I explained everything rationally and in detail, my thoughts, my feelings, but no, she didn’t want to believe it. At some point I just agreed because I gave up. Because I didn’t want to discuss anymore and was always rejected, so I just agreed.
I was intimidated, nervous and not self-conscious enough. And so it made my way more difficult for me because it simply came to misunderstandings that I could not resolve.
So just because it’s your therapist doesn’t always mean they’re right. It doesn’t mean they’re allowed to tell you things that aren’t true. Don't be afraid to say it, no matter how hard it is. At least try, do what is most important for your healing. And if your therapist doesn’t want to listen to you, it’s not a therapist who will drive your healing. They are there to listen to you, not the other way around.
(Of course, the job is hard, and I know that lying is kind of normal in therapy, it shouldn’t be like that, but it is. I am often not 100% honest, but it is not okay to deny your conditions, thoughts and emotions.)
<3
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Text
The Misunderstanding
Warning: Mature, Punishment, Curse, Angry Charles, Sub Top, Dom Bottom.
Summary: Just coz of some misunderstandings Charles scolded you in front of everyone. But you make him regret by taking your revenge on him. {You have power to take others power and can get invisible}
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"Oh come on plss just this once" Hank said while following Y/n. Y/n stopped and looked at him "He will kill me if I tell that I broke his favourite vase" "Oh come on you guys have been in relationship for more than 6 months. And you know that he won't even scold you" "But-" "Plss Y/n, plss Charles will kill me. I will pay for your lunch and breakfast for a week if you take the blame" Y/n thought for a while "Fine then, pray for me" she said while going towards Charles office.
"Here goes nothing" she told herself and went inside without knocking. "Huh? Darling plss knock next time you scared me" Charles said while keeping his hand on his chest. Y/n noticed that he was doing some work.
"Well you want something love?" He asked while looking at Y/n. "I-it's th-that" "Darling you can tell me anything I won't get angry"
"I-I yo-you remember your favourite vase?" "The one gifted by my family?" "Yes" "What about it?" "We-well I-I I-it's broken"
Y/n was looking down while speaking but as she heard no sound she looked up and she swear she regretted it. Charles looked pissed, he looked way too pissed.
"You're joking right?" "N-no" Charles took a deep breath and rushed out bumping into Y/n and making her fall. She got up and rushed behind Charles afraid he might loos his cool, which he usually don't.
Y/n reached downstairs and saw Charles standing in front of the broken vase while others where wondering around not having any idea of what's was going to happen.
The vase was actually placed in a corner so no one can break it, and even if it break no one will find it as it was in corner. Y/n slowly went towards Charles "Cha-Charles" "Shut up!!" Y/n flinched at his sudden out brust and it even brought others attention towards them. But mostly of Hank.
"Charles I am so-" "Well your sorry won't fix it!!" He screamed again, everyone were shocked seeing Charles screaming on Y/n. Coz he never does it and not on Y/n specially he loves her a lot and forgive her if she breaks something {You're clumsy}.
"Charles just fo-" "Hank don't interfere in between us. And it is my fault, if only I would have never forgiven her, she wouldn't have taken advantage of it"
That line stroke Y/n was too hard than anyone can imagine, coz as Y/n was Charle's girl friend some students started gossips that he forgives her for anything and she take advantage of it. But soon the gossip took horrible turn making Y/n guilty from all prospectives. She even tried her best to be less clumsy, but she can't.
"I-I am re-" Y/n eyes where all teary. "Ohh just stop your crocodile tears, it won't work on me anymore" Charles said in a cold voice and left. Everyone {students} left from there with some more gossips and laughing at Y/n.
Y/n was still looking at 5ye broken vase, she went near it and picked them up without any care. "Y/-" Hank's words where enough to make Y/n flinch and drop a piece of glass in the process making a deep scratch in her palms.
"Shit Y/n!!" Hank ran to her grabbing her hand but Y/n snatches it away. "Step aside" Hank stepped aside coz he knew Y/n's anger issue. The moment Y/n goes out to throw the glasses he make his ran to Charles room and says him everything that it is his fault and not Y/n's. And also the rumours that where going around the mansion about Y/n.
Charles felt guilty for whatever he did and for not noticing Y/n's issues just coz he was busy in work.
"Fine you can leave, I will talk to her" Charles said as Hank apologized again and left.
Charles licked his lips and was about the stand up from his chair when he felt someone pull him back on the chair. He looked down and saw no one. At first he was confused but then he tried to use his telepathy power and it didn't work.
He knew what was happening "Come out, I know you're here" he spoke as Y/n came into view. She was on her knees under his table.
"What are you doing here?" "Well I am here to take my revenge" She said while holding both of his knees and separating them. "Wa-wait Y-" "Shut up!" Y/n said while going between his legs and rubbing his thighs. "Hmm so thick, I can't wait to see it again" she said while opening his pants. "Y/-Y/n plss" "So did I said 'Sorry'. But your plss won't stop me" she was rubbing and pinching his bare thighs with her soft, tender hand. "Ahh~~" "I see you like it" Y/n continued to pinch and rub his thighs till it was all filled with bruise and for him he was all moaning.
"See just moaning from touching you a little, what a slut for Mommy" She smirked as started to touch the stain on his boxers. Charles yanked back but then................
Knock
Knock
Charles looked up in surprise at the door. "Buddy you in there?" It was Erik. He and Raven had left for some work and they have returned. "I am coming in" "Wait no-" too late Erik came inside and saw Charles, who was sitting on his chair, he looked normal tho.
"Is something wrong?" He asked as he went and sat in front of Charles. "No-nothing" he looked at Y/n who said him to keep quiet. Charles was helpless he didn't have his power and Y/n was countinusly torturing him under the table.
Erik was continuesly talking about the issues the faces on the way. "There there baby boy" she removed his boxers as his hard dick springed out. He was already licking so Y/n didn't waste anytime and take his at once. Making Charles jolt in surprise.
"Charles are you fine?" Erik asked as he noticed Charle's was sweating and was all red. He glared at Y/n, while she just smirk and started to tease him. Charles pulled himself close to the table so that Erik doesn't notice it. Erik thought that Charles was just not feeling well, so he continued.
"Er-Errik buddy why don't you leave, I am not feeling well" Charles said while gripping the chairs handle. "Do you want me to call Hank?" "N-no it's fi-fine, I will just take a nap" "Fine take care and call me if you need something" Erik stood up as Charles modded and he left.
Charles pulled back and looked at Y/n who was still sucking her all slow and playing with his balls. He was needy "Plss g-go faster" "Not anyway soon" she started to go faster all of sudden making him jolt on the seat as a loud moan escaped his mouth. She was going way to faster than needed "Hu-hurts sl-slow down" he was all teary coz it Y/n was hurting him but it only caused her to go more faster and squeeze his balls harshly making him scream while grabbing the chair handle and throwing his head backwards. Y/n felt Charles going tight around her, she knew he was going to cum soon so she went faster and harder.
Soon Charles came without any warning, in Y/n's mouth. Y/n pulled back and went near him and kissed him. Charles chocked when he felt his own cum in his mouth. He tried to push Y/n but she held his hands tightly and deepend the kiss. As soon as Charles gulped she pulled back.
"See how beautiful you look. Panting, crying, begging. What a perfect slut for Mommy" she said while caring his cheeks.
"Now say it" "I-I am so-sorry Mommy, I-I was wr-wrong" "And?" "Th-thank you. I de-deserve punishment" "Hmm good boy" Y/n made Charles sit on her lap as she sat on his chair.
No one knew about Y/n's and Charles sexual relationship in the mansion. Coz Charles was shy and thought others might disgust him. So, it was a secret that he is submissive and Y/n dominates him.
Y/n is the one that always take care of Charles coz she knows how real he is in front of everyone. And others thing it's vise versa.
Y/n kissed Charles one last time and patted his head as he brought his legs near his chest and kept his head in her chest and slept.
Obviously Y/n made him clean later and tugged him to sleep.
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leatherbookmark · 9 months
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given v1 thoughts, but about that one (1) specific scene (spoilers obvs but i don't think anyone here cares lol)
i am FASCINATED with mafuyu at the end of ch6, because like. am i misunderstanding, or is he... in his own way, angry? so far in the four volumes that i own and have briefly flipped through, i don't think i recall him being truly >:O angry, but this moment... reads pretty explicitly as anger to me. although again! it's mafuyu! who's to say! he's a pomeranian of a guy!
but also, i do remember that he can say mindlessly cruel things.
and like! it obviously wasn't haruki's fault. he had no way of knowing, and akihiko only knew because he literally Was There, overheard the conversation between mafuyu and ritsuka and did some internal math. when you're 22 and your bandmate is 16, obviously you want to tease and fluster him with questions about his experience with love (especially if the other 16yo in your band is ritsuka, who's a perfect target for loving bullying, lol).
but mafuyu... clearly wasn't comfortable with the topic being breached, especially after bumping into hiiragi after... fuck, six months of not seeing him? six months after his boyfriend committed suicide? and he had no words to express all the things boiling inside of him yet. he only tells ritsuka "there was someone i really loved" at the end of vol1, after the conversation with haruki and possibly, if not for that, he wouldn't have told him.
but back to haruki. i just. love, love, love this casual cruelty of mafuyu's. his half-lidded eyes, almost bored face when he says that akihiko was just looking out for him and his feelings, almost baiting haruki to ask about it, and then delivering one bomb after another: you like akihiko, right? well, then what would you have to say if one day he disappeared from this world? while smiling.
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while smiling.
and then he goes on!! that you're sad? lonely? that you miss him? you don't know?
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me neither.
well, see ya, good job today.
ugh!!!
did it feel good, mafuyu!!! i bet it did. bottling it all inside for so long, being utterly incapable of putting it into words, let alone telling someone the full scope of what happened -- it must be so exhausting. so he just drops it, both vague and ruthlessly direct and personally tailored to the person you're talking to. hey, did you think i got dumped big style in a public space? no. the person i loved does not exist in this world anymore. they're gone. can you imagine that? bye.
it's almost... Fictional Story-style Dramatic -- deliver a Shocking Confession in the most casual, careless way you can, then leave -- but it's so good. and the shot of mafuyu leaving is almost villainous in its framing -- haruki's dumbfounded profile, mafuyu's profile behind him, his eyes hidden. beautiful.
it's such a nice transition of mafuyu who's a human pomeranian, innocent and ignorant, to a mafuyu who's observant, cruel on purpose and in retaliation, and i love it so much! hilariously, one of the omake yonkomas (!) in this volume reveals even more of that "more mature than you think" side of mafuyu, when he says that ritsuka is probably popular because he has the vibe of a virgin and it's cute. it's played of as a joke, akihiko chokes on his drink, the end, but like. mafuyu doesn't know that you can just change rusted guitar strings! he's so pure-hearted and silly, a picture of an innocent virgin! but nope, he and yuki fucked, and from what it sounds like in the vol2 omake, often enough for mafuyu to be unfazed when yuki suggests having sex in the bathtub.
i was here worrying that i might not get invested in the lads enough, but AUGH this one moment would be enough. (and i have skimmed the later volumes so i KNOW what's going to happen and gksfhgskjfghsfj rubbing my hands together like a little fly)
i also checked the endnotes and it turns out cheri+ is a quarterly, just like rutile in which hwsk ran! i thought it was a monthly magazine. well, it makes given just as painful to get invested in! on one hand i'm sad i missed the last chapter in real time, on the other, DEEP SIGH i'll have to physically stop myself from reading the translated chapter online and just wait until vol9 is available on mdrk;;;;
also god i got the images above from a "manga online" website and i made the mistake of checking the comments. "kizu natsuki best bl mangaka!!!" okay, won't argue with that. "i mean come on it's a bl with no extreme hardcore s*x!!!" oh, shut the hell up and go back to your homework.
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sirenascales · 3 years
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-> double black [part one] 18+
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-> Chuuya x 1stPov!F!Reader x Dazai
-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?
-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing
A night out drinking leads to a small misunderstanding with a handsome, yet dangerous man. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader]
3,894 words
note: edited this so it could still be read as a reader fic! it's actually a lot of fun writing in first person! hope those who read this enjoy my first bsd fic!
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist
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I've experienced a lot of amazing things since I've moved to Japan. A new job in a different country, new co-workers and friends, work parties, themed bars, cafes, and hookups with pretty strangers. There was a long list of great things I've had going on, and a long list of things I've never expected... and being fired from the job I had for a year was not one of them.
"A year of hard work... for nothing," I mumbled bitterly as I sat at the bar with my close friend, and now ex-coworker, Keiko. She was beautiful, with long black hair and brown eyes. She frowned, a sympathetic look on her pretty face as she sighed.
"I'm so sorry," she said softly, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sure you'll find something else soon! You have an awesome resume, and you're an amazing worker who can speak English, Japanese AND Spanish... there is totally a place for you out there!"
Keiko has always been supportive and enthusiastic, a really bright and friendly girl who made it her mission to befriend me as soon as I started working with her. She was relentless, and soon enough, I found myself spending many hours with the woman.
"Yeah..." I just mumbled again and she laughed softly.
"It's okay to mope... that's why I brought you here!"
"Yeah, about that," I started, sending Keiko a look as I swiveled the stool so my body faced her. "Why did you bring me here?" As soon as the work day was done, Keiko immediately dragged me to what was clearly a mafia bar. That didn't surprise me, since she was actually dating a mafioso.
A mafioso, who was part of the Port Mafia. It wasn't long after I moved to Yokohama that I started to hear stories about the organization, and was also warned not to cross them. Of course, with my luck, I became best friends with someone who dated someone who was in the Port Mafia. How a sweet girl like Keiko ended up with a man like him, I'll never know.
What I do know is that Taichi adored Keiko, gave her everything she could possibly want and need with the money he makes, and that was just being a normal grunt! Even so, it was dangerous, but Keiko didn't seem to mind.
"I come here with Taichi all the time," Keiko answered, sipping her drink. I turned to sip on my own. "You can't tell me it isn't luxurious." It was. My jaw had dropped to the floor when we first stepped into the very luxurious bar. "Don't worry about it, okay? Drink your sadness away! You're safe here. Since I am Taichi's woman, and you're with me, nothing will happen, okay?"
"Where is Taichi anyway?" I asked, glancing over her shoulder when I spotted a group of men walking in through the entrance. I missed the way the light left Keiko's eyes, chewing on her bottom lip anxiously. My eyes were on the men, which in the middle was a man with orange hair, a black hat adorning his head. I felt my breath hitch in my throat, my eyes looking at the very handsome man up and down. I swallowed thickly.
"He had a job tonight and couldn't make it. He'll be home to- hey, what are you looking at?" Annoyed at me ignoring her, she turned in her seat, a shocked look on her face before she smiled tightly.
"Taichi! I thought you had an assignment!"
"Hey, babe! We finished early, which was quite surprising, honestly."
The couple embraced and I barely registered the mushy love between the two as I watched the ginger man lead the rest of the group further into the bar. He walked by me, and before I knew it, dark blue eyes were staring right at me, eyebrows furrowed.
"The hell are you looking at?" he sneered and my face turned red, heart dropping in my chest.
"No one! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, quickly turning back around and facing the bar.
"Tch. Whatever," the man only responded before walking off.
"You look like a cherry," Taichi said, clearly amused. I sent him a half-hearted glare, Keiko slapping his chest lightly.
"Be nice to her. She got fired today."
"Ohh, that sucks. If you need help-"
"She won't take it," Keiko said with a huff. "Stubborn ass."
I rolled my eyes at her, biting my lip nervously as I fiddled with my glass. "So uh... who was that guy? With the hat?"
Taichi blinked. "Oh, that's Chuuya Nakahara."
"Is he part of the Port Mafia?"
Taichi barked out a laugh, Keiko giggling softly behind her hand.
"Baby... he's an executive. Chuuya works closely with the leader of the Port Mafia."
"And I work under Chuuya," Taichi finished, amused at how wide my eyes have gotten at the answer.
"You mean to tell me... I pissed off... an executive member..." I was dismayed, heart pounding in my chest.
"Hmm, probably. Don't go home alone tonight," Taichi grinned as I balked, clearly having fun torturing me.
"Taichi! Babe, don't listen to him."
I gulped nervously, downing the rest of my drink before signaling to the bartender to get me another one.. "R-right..." Despite my better judgment, I turned my head, looking towards the obvious VIP section of the bar. Chuuya sat with some other grunts, a glass of what seemed to be red wine in his hand. Of course, his eyes found mines yet again and I whipped my head back around. Fuck, I did it again! I quickly downed the newly made drink, unaware of Chuuya's eyes narrowing as he watched me.
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"Nooo, do you have to go?" a drunk Keiko whined as she latched onto my arm, a forever amused Taichi watching on. "Don't leave me with hiiiiiiim."
"I want to go home, dammit," I huffed, successfully peeling her off of me and handing her to her boyfriend. "I have to start job hunting tomorrow. Thank you for bringing me here, I do feel better and I love you but... I'm tired."
"Ugh, you are such an old lady!" Keiko whined again and I couldn't help but laugh, turning to start walking towards the exit.
"Goodnight, you too. Please get her home safe, Taichi."
"I wouldn't count on it~"
I rolled my eyes at his teasing, leaving the two behind as I left the bar. I stepped out into the cool night air, shivering a bit as I closed my cardigan tightly around me. I wore a simple but cute outfit; a black dress with burgundy tights underneath, black flats on my feet and my favorite tan cardigan over the entire outfit. It helped me fight off a bit of the cold, but as I started to walk down the block, I grabbed my phone to start searching through my usual rideshare app.
I didn't get far. My phone cluttered to the ground as it fell out my hands, a gasp leaving my mouth as I was slammed against the nearby brickwall of a narrow, dark alleyway.
"Who the fuck are you?" a familiar voice hissed and I'm shocked to find Chuuya Nakahara glaring daggers at me, his strong hands pinning my arms against the wall. He growled when I didn't answer. "Answer me! Who sent you here?!"
"N-No one!" I cried out, shaking like a leaf. Of course, of course I would be confronted by a fucking high level member of one of the most dangerous organizations in Japan. "I swear, I just came here with my friend."
Chuuya growled again and he flipped me around, pressing my front against the wall. "Stay still," he grunted, and my face started to heat up as I felt his gloved hands quickly feel along my body. He was frisking me, and I gulped when he shoved his hand under my dress, producing the knife I had strapped to my thigh.
"I carry that to protect myself," I immediately explained, Chuuya turning me around again to face him. His eyes were still narrowed, staring me down as if trying to figure out what the hell I was up to.
"And the bouncer didn't pat you down?" he questioned and I shook my head quickly.
"No, he didn't pat me or Keiko down."
"Tch, that's Taichi's woman," he said, though he still looked at me with narrow eyes, hesitating a bit before he turned my knife in his hand, handing it back to me hilt first. "You sure know how to make yourself look suspicious."
I cringed a bit as I strapped my knife to my thigh strap again. I missed how Chuuya's eyes lingered, him licking his lips. "That's my fault I... I know I was staring..." I could feel my face heat up again and I couldn't even look Chuuya in his face. "S-sorry if I creeped you out. I don't mean any harm. Keiko brought me here 'cause I got fired and she wanted to help me feel better..."
"Hm," was his only reply, crossing his arms over his chest. "What you do to fuck up?"
My mouth fell and I sputtered as I tried to come up with the words. "What do you mean?! I didn't fuck up!" I protested. "It literally came out of nowhere! I worked my ass off all year, only to get fired 'cause I wasn't what they needed anymore. Fucking bullshit."
Chuuya was amused by my little vent, snickering a bit as he gave me a quick look up and down. "I'm sure it wasn't your winning personality."
I scoffed. "Says the one that shoved a random woman against a wall?! That hurt, you bastard!"
Chuuya raised his eyebrows at me, and I immediately slapped my hands over my mouth.
Oh no. Fuck, I forgot who I was talking to.
Chuuya snickered again, his eyes flashing in amusement. He stepped closer to me, making me press back against the wall again. Chuuya leaned his face close to mine, a smug smirk on his face as he spoke.
"Be careful who you talk to like that," he hummed, and I shivered despite feeling some of his body heat. "Someone might just cut out your tongue for talking back like that. Me? Well, it'd be a waste, especially when I think of all the things I could make you do with it."
I squeaked, the heat never leaving my face as I stared at Chuuya with a puzzled expression on my face. The sudden switch up was giving me whiplash... and lowkey turning me on. "I..." I stuttered, looking away and finally noticing my phone still on the ground. "Crap, I hope it's not broken."
I rushed over to pick my phone up, ignoring Chuuya's hard stare on me. I looked over my phone, sighing in relief when I saw that it had sustained no damages.
Chuuya then stepped up to me, jerking his head back towards the bar before walking off. "Let me take you home. Take that as an apology for being so rough on you."
I blinked. "Um..."
"Hurry up!"
"Okay!" I squeaked and followed after the man quickly, chewing on my lip as I asked myself... what the fuck was I doing? Am I really about to get inside this man's car? He was a stranger! Who frisked me! Let alone, he is clearly a dangerous man.
I must be insane.
"Tell me," Chuuya started and I was dumbfounded as he approached a rather cool looking motorcycle. No way. "What the hell were you being so creepy for?" He turned to me and asked, an all-knowing smirk on his face. I blushed deeply. Of course, he already was able to figure it out once he realized that I wasn't a threat.
"No reason," I huffed out, earning a low laugh as Chuuya grabbed the only helmet I could see. I looked at him confused, gasping when he unceremoniously placed the helmet over my head. "What about you?"
"I don't need it," Chuuya simply answered before he finally mounted his bike. "Come on, you little liar. Hop on."
I couldn't help but stare, my mouth going dry as I took in the image of this handsome bastard with his bike. The engine roared as he turned it on, revving it a bit and making me make a mess in my panties.
"Hey, ya done eyefucking me, dollface?"
I sputtered. "I was NOT eyefucking you!" I stormed over to the bike, glaring at the grinning bastard as I climbed onto the bike behind him.
Chuuya snorted. "Yeah, like you weren't eyefucking me earlier in the bar," he retorted, easily reaching behind him to grab my wrists, pulling me against his back as he wrapped my arms around him. I was stunned silent, from his words, and his actions and the fact that his back felt so solid.... and he smelled so good...
"I was not..." I mumbled, pressing my cheek against his back. "Shut the fuck up."
He laughed darkly, and that sent a shiver down my spine.
"Where do you live?" Chuuya asked and I hesitantly told him my address. "I know where that is. Hold on."
"You do? It's on the other side of the city," I said and Chuuya just chuckled softly, looking over his shoulder and smirking at me.
"And who exactly runs this city?"
I clamped my mouth shut, his eyes staring into mine. I blushed and looked away from him. He turned his head back around with an amused laugh, the engine revving as he took off on his bike.
"Hold tight, dollface!"
He didn't have to tell me twice, my arms tightening around his torso as he sped down the street, weaving in and out of traffic. It was scary, but also so fucking exhilarating. My heart was thudding in my chest, my eyes watering because of the wind. Still, I kept them open, wanting to watch the world blur by us. Chuuya made a sharp, right turn, making me scream while he laughed loudly. 
"Man up!" he yelled at me.
"Stop driving like a crazy person!" I yelled back.
I didn't see the large, almost evil smirk that grew on Chuuya's face. Didn't see him licking his lips excitedly as he eyed a rather tall building coming up ahead.
"Tell me, dollface," he hollered back at me, revving the engine and I gulped as I held him tighter, his bike going faster. A bad feeling started to settle in my stomach, balking when he asked his next question. "Do you want to defy gravity?"
I didn't have time to answer, not when I finally realized that we were heading right towards the side of the building. I couldn't even scream, fear striking me as I suddenly started to see red, body jostling as Chuuya maneuvered the bike to jump in the air.... before landing perfectly on the side of the building and continuing vertically up towards the sky.
"Don't let go!" Chuuya sneered. Like that was ever going to happen.
I didn't dare turn my head to look down, my wide eyes staring up into the night sky as we made it closer to the top of the building. I couldn't even think straight, my body just running on nothing but adrenaline and fear.
"Ch-Chuuya!" I gasped out sharply, the bike finally making it to the roof of the building. Chuuya didn't slow down though, only barreling towards the edge and I started to panic. "Chuuya! What are you doing?!"
Chuuya only snickered, revving the engine once more before sending the bike flying off the edge of the building. I squeak and screw my eyes shut, pressing my face against the middle of his back. I didn't want to watch us plummet to our doom.
"Hey, idiot, open your eyes."
I whimpered and shook my head. "N-No..."
Chuuya sucked his teeth. "Just open your eyes! You'll regret it if you don't."
Biting my lip, I wanted a moment before I lifted my head up and opened my eyes, a small gasp leaving my mouth as I looked around me.
We were still floating in the air, biking moving through the sky. The City of Yokohama was lit up beautifully underneath us. I looked over, seeing the ocean at a distance, the ferris wheel lit up and spinning slowly. My mouth had fallen open, eyes wide in wonder. Chuuya was looking back at me, a triumphant grin on his face.
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We made it to my apartment and Chuuya stood over me, an amused smile on his face as he watched me melt on the ground after I got off his bike.
"That was intense..." I mumbled, still feeling the effects of flying through the fucking sky. "I shouldn't even be surprised that you're gifted, with the power that you have already in the Port Mafia."
"Yeah, it was pretty great, huh," Chuuya said smugly, gloved hands stuffed in his coat pockets. I laughed softly, slowly standing up with my shaky legs. He took one look at my frazzled state and he grew even more smug. "That's a cute look on you, though if I really had my way with you, you wouldn't even be able to stand."
My face turned hot, sputtering as I tried to respond, but I had nothing to even say. Because the thought of actually inviting Chuuya inside and--
"Fuck..." I breathed out softly, looking at the man standing before me. His eyes didn't leave mine, the heat in them making a shiver go down my spine. "Do you... want to come inside?"
Chuuya fixed his hat on top of his head. "Lead the way, dollface."
"So... your ability lets you control gravity?" I asked once we made it inside the elevator of my apartment building. We were going fifteen stories up, after Chuuya parked his bike safely, of course.
"To put it simply, yes," Chuuya answered, stepping closer to me. I gasped softly when he grabbed my chin, the leather of his glove pressing against my skin. "But we're not here to talk about that." He pressed himself against me fully, leaning his face in until his lips hovered just above mine. I shivered, looking at him with hooded eyes. "This will be a one time thing, dollface."
I nodded, appreciating his honesty. "Of course," I replied just as the elevator stopped on my floor, doors sliding open. I grinned at him. "So let's make it count."
He liked the sound of that, grabbing my wrist and leading me out the elevator. I rushed to my apartment, grabbing my keys and hurriedly unlocking the door before opening it.
The door slammed shut as Chuuya immediately pressed me against it, his lips on mine in a fervorous kiss. I knocked his hat off his head as I ran my fingers through Chuuya's hair, moaning when his hands started to roam all over my body.
"Fuck..." I moaned softly when Chuuya started to kiss down my neck, squealing when he squeezed on my ass.
"Damn... you won't be able to fucking sit right, either," he growled against my neck as he massaged my ass and thighs. "Let's go."
Groaning when he moved himself away from me, I rushed to lead Chuuya to my bedroom, our clothes coming off in the process and making a trail on the floor.
It didn't take us too long to start really going at it, our lust fueling us to incredible heights. Chuuya held my hips tightly with his leather clad hands, thrusting his hard cock in and out of my soaking pussy.
He was fucking me hard, my body just sprawled on the bed as I moaned and grunted from the pleasure this man was giving me. "Fuck, fuck, Chuuya!" I whined, making the man grin widely as he kept his pace. Sweat covered both of our bodies, moans and deep growls mixing with the sound of skin slapping against skin.
"That's right, dollface, ride me," Chuuya smirked up at me, now on his back as I bounced up and down on his cock. His hands were right on my hips, his eyes going back and forth between  watching my bouncing breasts and watching his cock disappear inside my heat. "Fuck, you're so fucking sexy," he growled, thrusting up particularly hard and making me toss my head back, screaming when I finally fucking cum.
"Oh my God!" I gasped sharply, still squeezing around him as I began to slow down. "Oh fuck... it's so good," I moaned, reaching out and hooking my finger into Chuuya's black choker. I pulled and he pushed himself up, lips meeting mine in a messy kiss.
I moaned against his mouth, still slowly riding him as his hands ran up and down my sides, the leather cool against my skin. Then, Chuuya placed his hands on my hips, and with a mischievous little smirk, he licked his lips. Immediately, my body started to feel a little bit lighter, and Chuuya started to effortlessly bounce me up and down on his cock, 100% controlling my body with his ability.
"Chuuya..." I moaned his name, head lolling back. He continued to maneuver my body, little grunts and moans leaving his own mouth as he worked to reach his own pleasure, and mine.
I came again, tears falling down my face from the intense pleasure, and that was enough for Chuuya to pull me off of him completely, putting me on my knees before him on the bed. His hand grabbed the back of my neck and he pushed my head down, stuffing his cock in my mouth.
"Take it," he growled, his hands in my hair and using it to push my head up and down as he fucked my mouth. I moaned around him, a new wave of pleasure washing over me as I let the mafioso use me as he wanted. Soon enough, he exploded into my mouth, and I made sure I swallowed all of him.
"Fuck, that's hot..." Chuuya breathed out when I opened my mouth to show him that I did so. "You're such a good girl, dollface."
That made me flustered and I looked away shyly, earning a chuckle from him. I looked over when I felt him get up from the bed, thinking that he would leave. Instead, he just gave me a look. "Where is your shower?"
We showered together,  which took longer than needed because Chuuya couldn't keep his hands to himself. I was surprised when he climbed into bed with me afterwards, allowing me to cuddle against him as we slowly fell asleep.
I wasn't surprised though, when I woke up the next morning, sore and alone. I didn't get too upset about it, though. Chuuya laid it out clear and I accepted it and moved on.
I sat on my dining room table, looking through the newspaper as I sipped on my morning coffee. I was looking for a new job and figured looking at the local ads wouldn't hurt.
"Hm... let's see..." I whispered, reaching over and grabbing my knife. I ran the tip of it down the paper, stopping when one particular ad stuck out. "Hm... the Armed Detective Agency, huh? Interesting..." I set my knife down, staring at the ad as I took another careful sip of coffee.
-End
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453 notes · View notes
elles-writing · 3 years
Text
Daughter Moments
Request: Hello! I’ve read your imagines they are sooo good! I was wondering if I can request a Kili x daughter reader? The ploy can be anything you want but the reader has to be kilis daughter pls? Thankyou!!❤️
Requested by @imagines4everyone
A/N: First of all, thank you so much!! I hope you will like it!
Then also...The ending is my favourite.
Triggers: mentions of injuries, scars, angst, feels (if there's any more, let me know please!)
Tags: @guardianofrivendell @dumbassunderthemountain @imagines4everyone
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Kili took a deep breath, as he looked over Dale. The town was beautiful, and he was lucky to be able to look at it during sunrise, every day, before he had to get back to his duties.
He felt the soft wind, running through his hair, and sun glittered in his deep brown eyes. He thought of his wife and daughter, and his mouth had soft dreamy smile in second.
When Kili came back to their shared chambers, he noticed Tauriel, gently stroking their ten months old Y/N's cheek.
"How are my two beautiful girls?" He chuckled, and his eyes were soft, as he looked down at his daughter and wife.
"Papa!" Y/N suddenly let out, and Tauriel and Kili looked at each other in shock and surprise. Their daughter just said her first word!
"You did it, Y/N! You did it!" Kili cried out, and started dancing across the room with his daughter in his arms. You giggled, and Tauriel watched the moment with tears in her eyes.
Five years later
"Papa?"
"Hm?"
"What are you doing?" You frowned, when you noticed your father.
Kili was trying to make a surprise for Tauriel - his wife's birthday was a very special day to him, as well as your birthday - and this year, as any other, it was something sweet. Last year he made her a pair of twin daggers and got all her favourite sweets from bakeries around Dale.
This year, he decided to bake a cake.
Needless to say, it was very funny.
To watch, obviously.
You sat up on the chair, and Kili put his hands on his hips. You looked into the bowl, and giggled. You tasted a bit of it, and frowned.
"Uncle Fili said you can't bake, daddy." You shook your head. Kili nervously looked at you.
"What did uncle Fili say?" You looked at your dad, and decided to tell him everything.
"Well, Uncle Fili said you cannot bake, and that you only eat in the kitchen, and he was right," you said. Kili looked at the light-coloured dough.
"It is salty," you said, and Kili's eyes widened. He slapped his forehead.
"I really switched sugar and salt," Kili sat down to the table, and put his chin on his hands. You wanted to say something, but you noticed his eyes were filling with tears. You jumped off of the chair, and walked to him.
"Why are you crying, daddy?"
"I'm not crying," he said, and got up.
"Can I help you?" You gave him your best puppy-eye look, and Kili sighed.
You just had to get this from him.
"Okay."
When you finally finished the cake, the sun was rising, but you and Kili fell asleep, sitting by the table.
The finished cake was, however, worth it.
Twelve years later
"What did you say?" Kili frowned at you. You shrugged.
"What do you mean?" Kili's usually kind brown eyes had a spark of anger in them.
"That I don't care about you."
"Oh, this. Well, because it's true! You literally make any guy run away from me, and then you make me stay inside! How am I supposed to get to know at least one?"
"You have still enough time for boys." Your father shook his head, as if he tried to get out the idea of dating out as quickly as he could.
"Fine. But if anyone asks, it's your fault," you said half-upset, half-joking.
You almost opened the door, when you heard your father speak.
"You know I want you to have someone who truly loves you," you turned around.
"I...I, um..." Kili deeply sighed. He felt a bit of guilt about the misunderstanding.
"Sit down, please." You did as he said, and he gently took your hands to his.
"When I met your mother, I knew she was...the One. My One. I fell for her even more, when we talked for the first time. And a few years later, there was also you. I was holding you after you were born, and I promised I will make sure you will have the same kind of love, the person you will roll your eyes at, but know you wouldn't want them any other way."
"Dad, I-"
"I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just worried about you and want the best for you, but...the problem is, that in my eyes, nobody is good enough for you. I know you think it's the other way, but, it isn't. At least to me." You felt tears in your eyes.
"What do you think...mom would say?" You quietly whispered, as you felt tears in your eyes. He took a deep breath, probably to try to stop tears, too.
"Your mother would...secretly agree with me, but let you...let you go on an adventure, as long as you promise you are safe." Kili blinked to stop a tear, and sadly chuckled.
"You never know who you meet on an adventure."
You took his hands into yours, and gave him sad smile.
"She is alive. Trying to find her way back, from the orcs. Mom is a fighter."
"I believe too," he said, and looked outside. The sun slid across his face, and made his eyes spark, and showed you the way they used to shine when your mother was still there.
It's been a few months since you and your father talked, and you were on a ride from Hobbition. You liked to visit Bilbo and Frodo, and, as always, told each other news. When you almost got to Rivendell, you noticed someone lying down - with red hair. You stopped your horse, and jumped off of it.
You felt a rush of shock, when you realized who it was. She was full of cuts, but breathing.
You got to Rivendell safely, and when Lindir saw you, you let out just a whisper.
"Help her,"
You had no idea how did you end up in the working space of lord Elrond.
But, having soft blanket over your shoulders and sipping warm tea, after the shock, you wouldn't complain.
"Can I see her?" You whispered. Lord Elrond talked to a healer, and both of them looked at you.
"Your mother is asleep now," the healer carefully said. You nodded.
"Is she-"
"She is alive. We cleaned her injuries, and luckily, they were not even infected yet. You found her just in the right moment." You let out a breath. It felt like a huge weight fell off of your shoulders.
"Get some rest, princess Y/N. It will be good." The healer said, and helped you to get to other chambers, you guessed for guests. You laid down to bed, and fell asleep. You didn't even notice the healer turned around in the door, and slightly bowed, before he walked away.
You woke up into bright sunlight. You realized it was afternoon, and when you properly woke up, you found out you slept almost whole day and night.
When you took a bath and changed into light dress, you decided to go ask healer how was your mother doing.
You carefully knocked on the door. Someone slowly opened the door, and you realized it was the healer you already knew. After a short talk, he told you to get some rest. You decided to listen to him.
You didn't expect to fall asleep next to the bushes of lavender in Rivendell gardens, but the sweet, calming scent was strong.
You woke up with slight headache, and sat aside from the plants. You watched the sunset, and yawned. You also realized you haven't eaten whole day, and looked around for some fruit. You got up, and soon you found a few servants, who were actually looking for you, and as they mentioned dinner, you had no more questions.
At the dinner, you noticed the male healer you met earlier. You blushed when he noticed you looking at him, but he didn't do anything. Later, he catched your eyes again, and send you a tiny smile. You felt yourself smile as well.
After the dinner, Lindir walked you to your chambers. You took a bath, and when you got dressed, you opened your window and put a pillow and a blanket on the floor, to continue watching the sunset, and look at the stars. The sky was bright, and the fresh air made you feel lot better.
You got back to bed, but left the window open.
Your felt familiar smell, as you woke up. For a moment, you were five again, in your chambers in Erebor, and it was your birthday. Only other thing was the itchy feeling on your arms and legs.
Damn mosquitos.
"Mum?"
"I didn't mean to wake you, wildflower," you gasped and sat up, wide awake.
It was really her. Your mother, her red hair shining in the morning sun, looking at you.
Her face was full of cuts,which were in process of healing, and fading scars. Her hair was literally chopped off, now down to her chin.
Her green eyes were, however, full of motherly love. Just as you always knew them.
"This-this is a dream!" You let out a cry. She hug you tightly, and let out a cry too.
"I'm so glad you're safe..."
"What happened to you?" You whispered, as your arms tightened around her, afraid of it being just a dream.
"The orcs prisoned me, I tried to escape, but I was weak and didn't have any weapons. This time, I was finally lucky," she whispered, as she brushed your hair by her fingers.
"I'm here, Y/N. I promise it isn't a dream. I was fighting to run away every single day, and nothing could keep me away from you anymore."
Later that day, you sat down, to write a letter to Erebor.
Dear father,
I had to stay in Rivendell for longer, but, as you will find out - it was worth it...
Two years later
"Kili," Tauriel frowned at her husband. Kili looked at his wife with raised eyebrow.
"It's a boy, Tauriel!"
"And?"
"She's my little girl! She was born like...yesterday," Kili wiped off a tear from the corner of his eye.
"Well, our little girl is having a lovely partner. You will like him." Kili's eyes widened, and Tauriel tried not to laugh.
"You already met him? And didn't tell me?!"
"Well..." Tauriel would roll her eyes. Her husband was literally freaking out.
She didn't have the heart to tell him the reason you went to Rivendell or Mirkwood was because of your love, not because of political...anything.
Before she answered, you walked in, nervously smiling at both of them.
"I have, um...someone I want to introduce to you," you said. Your mother nodded at you with smile, and you sighed and patted your father's shoulder.
"It's fine, dad." You opened the door, and 'the elven healer from Rivendell', as you knew him two years ago, walked in.
"Mum, dad...this is, um, my boyfr-"
"Nice to meet you," Tauriel said, but looked at her husband by the corner of her eye.
"So...you are the elf my daughter is courting," Kili said, and you looked at your boyfriend. Him and your father were watching each other, and you gently took your lover's hand into yours, worried they might start fighting. Until...
They both broke a smile.
"Nice to meet you, Prince Kili. Y/N has told me a lot of good things about you."
"Y/N, would you come and prepare some tea with me?" Your mother asked you, and you both got out of the room.
You listened their conversation, talking about your meeting, and, your dad's, and your lover's, favourite - archery.
"I can't believe it!" You said, whispering.
"I know," your mother tried to hold in laugh.
"They literally-"
"Yes. Seems like they go along well."
"Now my dad will spend more time with my lover than I do," you pretend to be dramatic, but secretly you thought if it wouldn't be better if they didn't like each other.
You walked back in the room, with cups with steaming tea.
"Don't worry. Both of them know who are the best archers in the family," Your mother gave you a smile, and you proudly nodded, as you placed the cups down on table.
"That's not true, I always let you win!" They said at the same time, and you and your mother shared a look.
Later that day, you were with your father in the gardens. He was enjoying the quiet evening, and you were reading.
"Dad?"
"Hm?"
"You know...you said, about boys...that nobody would be good enough for me. In your eyes."
"Yeah." He nodded, and turned towards you.
"So, um...what do you think, now when you met my boyfriend?" You nervously waited for his answer.
"I think...I would never expect to say this, but...I approve him." You let out a laugh.
"Just because you're both good at archery?" He rolled his eyes.
"I wanted to say he seems to be very nice, but that too. We gotta keep the skill in family, don't we?" You shook your head and snorted with laugh.
"As well as recognizing elf men and elf maids." You started laughing when you noticed your father's wide eyes and flushed cheeks under his beard.
"Who told you that story?"
"Well...Uncle Fili has told me many interesting stories from your adventures," you said. Your father quickly stood up.
"Uncle Fili will quickly be reminded of what does it feels like to have younger brother," Your father muttered, as he walked inside the castle.
195 notes · View notes
harmonizingsunsets · 3 years
Text
Polin Week Day 4: Prompt - Jealousy
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Touching A Live Wire
After dragging Colin by the arm through her and Eloise's flat with one hand, Penelope slams the door behind them with the other.
She folds her arms across her chest and looks him in the eye for the first time since they left her work party early. He'd looked apologetic, following her wordlessly to the car and remaining silent during the entire drive to the flat.  
"You have five seconds to apologize."
Colin sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Penelope, this is a misunderstanding."
"Five," she starts counting.
"I didn't mean to say it that loud!"
Penelope's lips curl further in anger. "Four."
"Wait, let me explain why I—."
"Three," she interrupts, tapping her foot loudly on the floor.
Colin tilts his head at her. "Pen, this is ridiculous."
"Two."
"Can't we just sit down and—." Pen opens her mouth, her lips forming the word one, but Colin looks alarmed and puts his hands out to stop her. "Fine, you're right. I'm sorry!"
Penelope breathes in relief. Despite the show she just put on, she didn't know what she would've done if she'd reached one. With Penelope's grade three students, she'd send them to the principal's office or write their names in the infraction book. But, Penelope didn't think those forms of punishment would've worked with Colin.
She moves her hands to her hips, pinning her gaze on him. "Sorry about what?"
"I'm sorry that I got a bit carried away."
"A bit carried away?" Penelope scoffs, causing him to flinch in guilt. "Colin, you yelled at my co-worker, "Penelope is too good for you," and then proceeded to knock over the punch bowl!"
"In my defense, whoever placed it there did a poor job. It was teetering on the edge of the table."
Penelope's jaw clenches. "I placed it on the table."
Colin's eyes go wide, adorably so, which she could appreciate more if she weren't so angry at him.
Well, she still does appreciate it a little. She's human, after all.
"Oh, then it was a lovely job!" Colin exclaims, trying to cover himself. "Perfect placement, angels in heaven would want you to be on punchbowl duty at every party."
"You think angels have parties?"
"No, of course not, but they host them. Can you imagine parties in heaven? Unlimited food, great entertainment, and you could dance with Pablo Picasso and Prince at the same time."
"You really think Picasso and Prince would run in the same social circles in—hey, don't distract me," she interrupts herself, pointing accusingly at him while biting back a grin. "I'm mad at you."
Colin takes a step forward, beginning to smirk. "Then why are you smiling?"
"It's an annoying side effect of being around you," Penelope explains grumpily. "But, I'm still angry."
Colin deflates. "I know. You  should be angry at me." He begins to pace, making Penelope worry that he's going to slip as she and Eloise just polished the floor yesterday. "I was way out of line. I shouldn't have yelled at your co-worker. It was disrespectful."
Penelope exhales, her anger beginning to fade, but confusion still causing her head to ache.
"I don't understand. Why did you yell that at him? And why did you spend the whole evening scowling at him and steering me away from him the entire time?"
Colin doesn't respond, looking down at his shoes. His behavior worries her, as Colin's never been one to avoid telling her something. His eyes are always open, full of honesty and understanding. But lately, they've been clouded.
The clouds are unsettling. Penelope misses the sun's warmth, and she can't take the chill anymore, especially because she doesn't know what prompted the weather change.
"You've been so unlike you the past few weeks," Penelope quickly says before she loses her nerve. "You've been off ever since he started working with me at the beginning of this month."
Colin shifts his feet. "No, I haven't."
"Yes, you have! Whenever I bring him up, you completely shut me out, you've avoided my attempts for you to meet him, and I caught you rolling your eyes when I was talking to him on the phone," she lists, furrowing her eyebrows. "What do you have against him?"
"Nothing."
"Colin, tell me."
He shrugs but with tense shoulders. "There's nothing to tell."
Penelope presses on, taking a step closer. "Obviously, you have something against him."
"No, I don't," he says, taking a step back.
She steps forward, feeling a rook on a chessboard that's slowly advancing on his pawn as he moves it backward one square at a time.
"Be honest."
"I am."
"No, you're not. I know you well enough to know when you're lying."
"Penelope…"
"Please, Colin, just tell me what's really got you so—."
"He's into you!" Colin blurts out.
Penelope freezes, her rook stopping one square before her victory.
Colin grimaces at himself, taking a deep breath as if his words knocked the wind out of him.
"What?"
"He's into you," Colin repeats, his voice quieter than before. "I don't like the way he looks at you. He obviously wants something more than friendship."
Penelope knows she shouldn't, but she laughs. "That's absurd."
Colin's expression drops even further, beginning to frown. "Why is that absurd? "
"Because it's me. Why would he be interested in me?"
"Why wouldn't he be?"
Penelope narrows her eyes at him. "Colin, don't play dumb."
"I'm not. You're the one that's playing dumb."
"Excuse me?"
"Pen, you're intelligent, beautiful, funny, and kind," Colin describes, slowly raising his hands and placing them on her arms. There's something in his eyes as he speaks so vehemently, a gleam that sends a thrill through her body. "You're the perfect package. Who wouldn't want you?"
Something in his words causes her to pause, reassessing the entire evening. Once she does, seeing a supercut of Colin's reactions towards her co-worker and his behavior around the two of them, her mind reaches one conclusion—a conclusion which quickens her heartbeat.
However, it also inspires a newfound sense of motivation to stop tiptoeing at the edge of the cliff she's been on for years.
But, she has to make sure Colin is truly standing on the same cliff as her before jumping.
Penelope swallows nervously. "Alright, let's say you're right and that I'm the perfect package—."
"You are."
"Ok, let's say that I am," Penelope agrees, taking a deep breath before crafting her following words. "So, why shouldn't he like me?"
"It's not that he shouldn't like you because, of course, he should. But—he shouldn't," Colin blabbers, getting a cute crinkle in between his brows as he struggles to explain himself adequately, which only fuels her wonderful but terrifying theory. "Because… he's—that guy is not right for you. "
Penelope inches closer, so her chest brushes against his body. He intakes a sharp breath, and she has to restrain herself from doing the same thing, knowing the gravity of this moment—of getting this exactly right.
"But I'm the perfect package, so I'm perfect for him, right?"
"No—I mean, yes, he'd be lucky to have you. But that doesn't mean you should be with him." His eyes flicker to her chest, and back up at her eyes, and back to his shoes, his face becoming more red with each passing second. "He—he has a horrible laugh, he likes Star Trek over Star Wars, and he took way more than his share of the cheese platter—."
"Those reasons are inconsequential. You know they are."
Colin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. So, Penelope raises one of her hands, moving up his arm and to his neck.
The path of Penelope's fingertips creates a live wire, causing his skin to brim with electricity everywhere she touches.  But, it doesn't shock her. Instead, she's part of the electrical current and feels a hum of energy in her palm that his touch provides.
"So, there must be another reason you don't want me to be with him," Penelope continues, forcing her voice not to shake. "Right?"
"No," he shakes his head after a few beats.
She bites her lip, trying to hold on to hope. "Really, there's not one reason?"
"Um…no?"
Penelope sighs, dropping her hands from his neck, feeling stupid. How foolish was she to think ahead of herself like this? Clearly, Colin's answer was not what she predicted. Just like always, she got carried away in romantic notions, as she always seemed to, when Colin’s around.
"Ok," she says, clearing her throat. Colin frowns at the sudden distance, but Penelope can't see his expression as she's closing her eyes to try and banish the inclination to cry. "I know, it's been a long day, so let's forget it. I think I should—."
Penelope doesn't get to answer. Because, suddenly, Colin swoops forward, his hands cupping her cheeks and his lips crashing onto hers.
If touching his skin created a live wire, kissing Colin makes a high electricity voltage, one strong enough to power an entire city.
Colin's lips brush against her softly, but there's a desperate edge to it, one akin to the desperation she feels as she clutches the collar of his jacket and pulls him closer.
When Colin breaks apart for a breath, he rests his forehead on hers.
"I was jealous," he whispers.
Penelope pulls her head back a little so that she can meet his eyes. "What?"
"That's why I didn't want you to be with him, because I want you to be with me," Colin confesses, pursing his lips. "I know that's immature. I'm sorry. You should be with whoever you want to be with, even if it's not me. It's my fault that I was too much of a coward until—Ow!" He abruptly yelps, looking down at his arm, which Penelope just pinched. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," Penelope ducks her head, the corners of her lips twitching into a smile. "I was just checking to make sure you weren't an illusion."
Colin smiles in the incandescent way that made Penelope fall in love with him in the first place. He tips her chin up, forcing her to meet his bright eyes filled with an emotion that wraps around her heart and squeezes it.
"I'm real, I'm very much real," Colin assures, his thumb skimming her cheek. "I'll prove it to you."
He closes the distance between them again. But, Penelope is the one to deepen the kiss. She feels a wave of heat run through her at Colin's moan. Also, she experiences a surge of confidence, proud that she was the one to elicit such a glorious sound.
Penelope wraps her arms around her neck, finding it slightly annoying that he's so tall, as she has to lean up on her toes to kiss him. Colin must sense her struggle, quickly amending the issue by swiftly raising her into the air.
But, as her legs sweep up as she's taken into his arms, she accidentally kicks the bowl that holds her and Eloise's apartment keys off of the table.
It crashes loudly onto the floor, the ceramic breaking into multiple tiny pieces.
Colin and Penelope's lips break from each other's, looking down at the mess near her feet. Then, for a moment, neither of them say anything, only staring at the floor.
"Well…at least there was no punch in there this time," Colin says, sidestepping the broken pieces of the bowl.
Penelope laughs, smiling against his lips as she pulls him in for another kiss.
While she has a lot of explaining to do about the dramatic scene the two of them caused when she shows up at work tomorrow and will have to answer Eloise about the broken bowl, she can't find it in herself to care.
When he opens his eyes briefly, looking at her and moving a strand of hair behind her ear, she no longer sees clouds. Instead, she only sees the sun, and she wants to bask in its glow forever.
Penelope knows how idealistic that thought is, but as Colin begins kissing down her neck after moving them to the couch, she thinks it's quite a reasonable notion.
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