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perseruna · 10 days

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Endiness made a beautiful long post with all his quotes on that topic that I think is very informative and worth looking at, so here’s a link to that. And with that already discussed, I thought I’d make a thread of all his changes that we are aware of, because when you look into them, you find that none of his “book accurate” changes are actually book accurate.

His decision to make Geralt grunt and cut his lines.

HC: "All the grunts, I either added or I didn't say anything and just grunted instead. It was often up to the other actors to go, 'I think he's not gonna say anything now.'"

JB: "Henry likes to cut his lines, 'cause he's lazy. No, he literally just likes to cut them. He likes to do more up here [frames his face with his hands] and just with face and hmms and grunts. There's a lot of hmms, and so I often have to take a lot of his lines and turn it into a lot of my stuff so that the plot happens."

So, as everyone who has read the books knows that Geralt is and always has been a yapper. Gerakt often talks or thinks in monologues, and definitely not in short grunts.

Of course when the audience started making fun of Geralt for not being able to speak in full sentences Henry promptly went back on admitting the blame and instead said that the big bad writers were the ones who didn't give him lines, and now it was his life’s mission to fight for a book accurate Geralt who speaks.

Roach’s death scene

After S2 came out, Lauren received a lot of backlash for Roach’s death scene, with multiple sources citing that she wanted the moment to be more “comedic” before the brave Henry Cavill stepped in and refused to participate in such horrible anti source material activities.

LH: "Henry was so unhappy with the line. Finally I said, 'You know what, you come up with something. I trust you, you know this material so well, you know the book so well, you don't even have to pitch it to me.' And he came back the next day with a beautiful speech that's at the end of 'Sword of Destiny' when Geralt is facing death.”

This is the line he ended up using:

“Enjoy your last walk across the meadow and through the mist. Be not afraid of her for she is your friend."

This was Lauren’s response AND the original line.

LH: “Here's what was scripted, in homage of the fact that a previous Roach had existed, and another one will exist soon. It's hardly a joke. Henry wanted a longer, more emotional moment, which I was more than happy to give him. Don't create drama where none exists.”

So in S2 Geralt ends up quoting a part of his monologue from ‘Sword of Destiny’ when he’s at his lowest after thinking that Yennefer had died at the battle of Sodden Hill, and he has nothing left to live for. Which to me doesn't work that well with Roach at all. That line was a response to Geralt thinking he's lost the love of his life, not his horse. In my opinion, the original line Lauren penned out is more heartfelt and actually more emotional and more book accurate as well.

The absolute removal of any Triss and Geralt “romance”

This one we don’t have that much information on in comparison to others. But there were multiple reports that at the beginning of S2 Triss and Geralt were supposed to have some kind of a romantic scene with each other which then was cut during production, and it was largely speculated that it was due to Henry Cavill.

“Several months ago we reported on a sex scene happening between Geralt and Triss, sometime in the first half of Season 2. That didn’t happen, as we all saw, but here’s what we know about the original plan for that: Geralt and Triss are in a room together, they seem friendly at first. They are playing some kind of weird game. Whoever wins a round, gets to ask a question. We’re not privy to the exact flow of the conversation, but it eventually leads to both of them ending up in bed. We can only guess why this was cut, but perhaps it was thanks to Henry Cavill.”

Now, irrelevantly on your feelings on book Triss and Geralt you have to admit that that short-lived “romance” is indeed a part of the books and therefor book accurate. So the removal of it would go against Mr I’m fighting to make this show as much book accurate as possible.

The removal of the Yen and Geralt sex scene in S2

"We just wanted to be very careful that it was true and real, and it didn't turn into something that we, as actors, didn't believe it should be," Cavill stated. When Yennefer and Geralt unite, they embrace, but it doesn't go further than that. He continued: "We wanted it to be emotional rather than sexual. It was really, really important, and we had to lean away from what was originally on the page." Initially, Geralt and Yennefer were written to have a more passionate night. Henry Cavill and Anya Chalotra went to "The Witcher" producers and explained why they thought a steamy evening was not the way to go. "These are people who believe one thing about the fate of another and then find out something else is true," Cavill said about Geralt believing Yennefer was dead. "That's not how they behave," the actor added. "How they behave is they just want to be with the person and emotionally recognize their existence again in that shared space.”

This one is a bit tricky because I am willing to get behind an actor who doesn't want to do a sex scene out of comfort reasons or whatnot, but Henry saying that "That's not how [Yennefer and Geralt] behave”, is quite absurd in my opinion. Because that is very much how Geralt and Yennefer behave, especially in the short stories and ToC. They are inherently a very sexual couple who come crashing in and out of each other’s lives while having very passionate sex. But I can understand wanting this scene to be more “emotional” (as if sex isn't emotional), so this one I am willing to give him a bit more leeway on. (But then again looking at the blinds saying that he refused any sex scenes because oh his “ideals” and was allegedly really nasty to Anya about it, well..)

Geralt being the perfect father figure to Ciri with no flaws and no struggles (which inevitably snowballed into the Yen Betrayal Arc)

This one I don’t see talked that much at all, and to me this one is his most detrimental one.

@LHissrich: “In interviews, Henry explains how he felt strongly that Geralt NOT be bumbling, nor a struggling father figure. In fact, a lot of S2 is about how Geralt does come from a loving (albeit unconventional) family. Henry was passionate about this shift, and we discussed it a lot, and ultimately thought it was wonderful for his character development. But it also had the domino effect of changing what Ciri needed from Yen when she entered the picture. Thus, introducing the idea of balance.”

So I don’t know about you, but I love when characters have flaws and naturally progress be it for good or bad, some would say that that's what story telling is about, well that someone wouldn't be Henry Cavil. Geralt being a struggling father figure at first, someone who makes mistakes and learns from them and tries is very much a prominent theme in Blood of Elves and is actually very real, people make mistakes! Especially in huge shifts such as “becoming a father overnight’ but we didn't get that because Henry refused to play it that way. What we got is Geralt who already basically knows exactly how to parent, he always knows what to say, what pep talk to give and also doesn't hold any resentment and any negative feelings towards Vesemir at all. It's all one dimensional happy family here! Which goes against not only the books but what he preached about fighting tooth and nail to make the “forgotten” male characters three-dimensional as well because the horrible feminist Lauren only thinks about female characters.

Lauren then goes on saying that “it also had the domino effect of changing what Ciri needed from Yen when she entered the picture. Thus, introducing the idea of balance” So, it is fair to speculate that Henry’s refusal to showcase Geralt having any flaws at all and act book accurate snowballed into The Controversial Yennefer Betrayal Arc.

These are the ones that I can remember off the top off my head, so there might be more, there’s probably more that we aren’t even aware of. I think putting them all together showcase a very interesting picture. One of Henry Cavill never actually understanding who Geralt fundamentally is as a character, and of him not being a team player at all. I just hope that more and more people are aware of the insane PR his team did for him when it came to this show, and that more people are able to see through it.

#anti henry cavill #the witcher #long post #i do believe that i have an interesting vintage point because ive been in this fandom since the show premiered so some people might not be #even aware of these things when ive lived them and have an archive of them in my head lmaoo #i don't like the formatting of asks when you reblog them so im making this a separate text post

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bipp-bopp-time-to-stop · 2 months

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A Divine Devotee

It's finally here and I'm at 100 followers! It's still sinking in for me but I wanted to do something to celebrate. Given how loved "Far More Than Just A Mask" is, I decided that a part two to it would be great for my 100 follower fic. Getting it written, like all of my fics, was something of a process so I hope it's at least as good as the first part. Hope you all enjoy!

TW: Yandere themes, blood, descriptions of a violent ritual, gore, cannibalism (accidental, technically), nudity, Fierce goes absolutely mental and no one has a Good Time TM

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Learning to live with the Fierce Deity in the flesh was something you expected to be akin to a thorn in your side. He was, in a way, just that. Were he not tasked with something, he was beside you. Even if he wasn’t by your side for whatever reason, that didn’t mean he still wasn’t with you in some capacity.

That strange bond he forced created between the two of you was still present. With every passing day, it seemed to weaken but you doubted it would every go away. In the present, it was hard to send little more than a handful of words over the bond, so the two of you relied on emotion. You never really thought about what it would feel like to be emotionally connected to another person (much less a god) but what you got wasn’t something you expected.

Emotion did not radiate off of him in a way you could sense it. It wasn’t some visible aura around him nor did it replace your own. Rather, it was a feeling in you body. Your being would alight with a hot flash at his anger or your extremities would slowly turn numb and freeze at despair. Your lungs would stutter and your eyes would sting with his sadness and your heart and brain would flood with dopamine at his joy. Not matter how he felt, it was always extreme.

Yet, when you once asked him what your emotions felt like, he described it as trying to sense the presence of a mouse. Your emotions, quite simply, were but a whisper to him. Despite that, he claimed he always did his best to sense and feel them. You had no choice but to experience his emotions so he felt it only fair that he try to do the same.

It had confused you, at first, as to why it was like this. Why he was so extreme and you weren’t in the eyes of the bond. Although he may be “talkative” with you, he’s typically quiet and rather neutral around the rest of the boys. All it took was some few minutes of thinking when the answer quite literally appeared in his name.

Fierce Deity.

He is a god and you are a mortal. Gods, in comparison to mortals, live at an unreachable extreme. It would certainly explain why Fierce always had that air of intensity to him. It would also explain why you felt so minute in comparison to him. It made you worry about what the future may hold. Would he eventually grow tired of how little you were in relation to his divinity? Would his boredom lead to him simply leaving or acting upon his name towards you and the group to amuse himself? Pessimism was easy to reach your mind nowadays and you know (you hoped) that such thoughts could never come true, but your brain refused to shut up.

Large bulky arms secure themselves around you and startle you from your spiral. The smell of rancid iron assaults your nose and the seeping wetness of your clothes makes it clear that you’re going to say goodbye to yet another outfit. A weighty head rests itself upon you and the rumbling hum that sounds though the chest pressed against your back resonates through your nerves. As the arms strengthen their embrace even further, you find yourself being slowly lifted from the ground.

“What ails you, dearest?” Fierce inquires. He audibly huffs and puffs in the scent of your hair but such oddities have long since lost their weird factor on you.

“Nothing too important, Fie- uhm, honey. Just my brain not wanting cease its ramblings. What… about you?” You respond as you look down at the arms around you. He wasn’t drenched in blood but it was certainly splattered on him. Not in huge amounts (at least huge in comparison to the typical gore he seemed to wear), but enough to tell you that something- or someone- was now dead. For the sake of not developing a headache, you hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“I brought us food. Elk,” Fierce stated. Ah, that would explain the strange and distant cry you heard some thirty minutes ago. And, for the next thirty minutes, you’d be avoiding the bloody scene that would now be accompanying camp. The double helix sword Fierce wielded was great against monsters but too rough against prey. As such, he simply resorted to using little more than his hands when it came to ending them. You had seen the end product of this method only once and it was sight that you vowed to never look at again. The bent neck, torn skin, smashed head, and splinters of bone poking through the pelt… ugh, there goes your appetite.

As silence continues to permeate the atmosphere, the embrace around you eventually loosens. Fierce’s footsteps crunch and squish on the forest floor as he moves away from you. He stops once he’s fully in view and you can’t help but stare at his face. It would be wrong to say he was anything less than beautiful. His face- his true face- was so similar yet different to the mask made in his likeness. His tattoos, still red and blue and angular, were more weathered like warpaint. His hair, still silvery white and straight, had turned into billowing locks due to the passage of centuries. And his eyes- oh, those eyes- were still so intense. They didn’t glow white hot with rage and were no longer blank slates. Rather, a ring of steely gray and blue surrounded his pupils. The colors reminded you of both the swinging steel of battle and the common hue of blue that existed in the eyes of most of the boys. A small feature, you wonder, that may have been picked up from Time.

“If you choose to accompany me to go get cleaned up… then I assure you that there will be more to look at then,” Fierce offers with a slight lit in his voice. His lips are ever so slightly turned upward as are his brows. Perhaps not as poetic as Wars’ pick up lines, but still effective enough to get your heart pumping.

“Well, after you got me dirty, I have little choice but to join you,” You sigh and follow behind the man. He lets out little more than a small chuckle, one of triumph, but you don’t let it get to you. Had you declined his invitation, he’d no doubt be left in a cranky mood. And, whenever Fierce was feeling all around unpleasant, it would always lead to most unpleasant things.

As you walked behind the god, you vaguely noted how the forest started to thin out before stopping completely. Stretching out before you was a sizeable lake. It was hours away from Ordon, hence why you never saw it in game or never heard Twilight mention it, but it was a reminder that there was so much more to every Hyrule than a screen could ever show. The surface of the water was still and stained a variety of oranges and pinks with the setting sun. Even after basking in the spring sun for the entire day, the water would undoubtedly still be cold.

A clinking sound catches your attention and you look over at Fierce just in time to see his chestplate fall to the ground. By now, his hands are fiddling with the buckle of his belt and you advert your eyes away. This wasn’t the first time you’ve both seen Fierce naked or bathed with him, but there was still a layer of reserve you had towards him. You had accepted the fact that you were now his lover (not that you were going to be left with any other choice) but there were certain aspects of a romantic relationship that you weren’t ready for yet. Perhaps it was because you were scared of taking such a leap. Or, maybe, your feelings didn’t run deep for the god like his surely did for you. Whatever the case was, constantly adventuring, fighting, and dealing with the Shadow made it hard to try and sort out such complex thoughts and conflicting emotions. For now, you had little choice but to go with the flow.

Once Fierce had waded deep enough into the water to where only the start of his hips and the beginning tufts of his happy trail peaked above the water did you go about getting undressed. The deity was kind enough to keep his eyes trained elsewhere until you were in the water much like him. An involuntary grunt fell from your lips as you waded into the cold waters but the sooner you got washed off, the sooner you’d be out of the lake.

After a quick dip below the surface to fully wet your body, you were whisked into Fierce’s arms. He carefully placed his arms around your midsection as not to touch an private parts of your body. The warmth that radiated from him was welcome in the face of the biting temperatures of the lake. Without his armor or thick clothes to cover up his body, you had full view of picturesque divinity. It wasn’t superhero level of muscle nor veiny, but was certainly a warrior’s build. The expanses of his muscles were only heighted or barely hidden by a suitable layer of fat. The fat only added to his weight to make him more solid and even harder to push around as well as helped soften any blows that may befall him. Unsurprisingly, his body was littered with scars of battles and wars waged so long ago that the history books likely couldn’t recall them. His hands were wide and large as well as covered in callous. You felt envious of the ways he made certain flaws and imperfections look so desirable.

“You ought to work on ‘shutting up’ your brain more often, dear (Name). It’s no wonder you experience so many headaches,” Fierce hummed out as he began to card a hand through your hair. With a few kisses placed to the crown of your head, you were distracted enough from your thoughts yet again to focus on the now. You didn’t bring any soap with you, but you hadn’t been splattered with blood like Fierce was. For now, the water should be enough.

Fierce begins to ladle water across your shoulders before you can even cup your own hands. Once fully wet, the man goes about rubbing your skin both to wash off any blood or grime but to also soothe your muscles. Even with the rough skin that coated his palms and fingers, his touch and motions were gentle. The gesture was nice and a welcome feeling to the stiff knots littered throughout your neck and shoulders, but it was also strange.

Not strange in the fact that it came from your lover, but from a god. It was the mortal, no matter the nature of the relationship, that did acts of service for the divine. Brought them food, made sacrifices in their name, and lived, breathed, and died by their beliefs. They’d heed every order given to them no better than a well trained dog. There were, of course, exceptions to this standard.

And Fierce was quiet the exception.

He acted as if you were the sole reason he existed. He brought you food, gifted you things from trinkets to treasures, and even shouted out your name in battle as if it was waged for you. Even with your hesitance towards him at times, he never once faltered in the way he acted. Any positive sign from you, from a compliment to something like a kiss on the cheek, only seemed to embolden him further. You had to be scarce in affection with Fierce even if it may have seemed harmless at the time.

Gods are dangerous beings, after all. Their sorrow drowns lands and their anger scorches the earth til’ naught but ashes remain. Their envy chokes the life out of whatever it can bind itself around and even their happiness can lead to slaughter. But their love? That’s a whole other beast to deal with.

Whenever Fierce felt as if he hadn’t been given enough affection recently, he sought to gain it by doubling his efforts. Instead of picking the ripest grapes from the vine for you to snack on, he’d uproot the whole plant and drag it back to camp for you. Instead of gifting you a new tunic or bracelet, he’d dump entire wardrobes of clothing and accessories upon you (kindly cleaned of gore, naturally). Instead of handing you a few monster parts he picked up after battle as a little trophy, he’d make let you watch him harvest them. He’d force ask you to tell him which parts to tear away next. From ripping out teeth and twisting off horns to gutting them and pulling out their innards, he did it. Given a monster’s tendency to puff away into nothing more than smoke upon death, the beasts were always forced to stay alive.

Yet, after receiving love and affection, he could be even worse. Smothering to the point you weren’t allowed to do nearly anything without his “help”; walk, eat, change, or bathe. He’d be willing to bite at anything that came near the two of you during his moments of love, leaving you with little choice but to distance yourself from the rest of the group. In the moments where he was nothing short of lovesick, you were left with very few options as to calm him down. Some days you’d have to act indifferent towards him to get him to back up whereas others required you to just submit to the affections like a doll for him to hug and squeeze. If you didn’t manage to subdue him fast enough… bad things happened.

Like right now.

You had been whisked away from your bed in the middle of the night. Despite your pout and complaints, Fierce did little more than hum as he carried you out of the castle. The guards that were littered about the grounds hardly acknowledged the two of you (most certainly out of fear of what Fierce would do to them). The only familiar face you passed by was Impa, but the woman only spared you what you believe to be her attempt at a sympathetic gaze (no doubt Wars had filled her and Zelda in on the relationship between you and the deity).

As Fierce’s long legs carried you through Hyrule castle and out of the city’s protective walls, you could only fathom what awaited you. He was always one to make sure you had a proper amount of sleep each night, so this deviation in routine had your stomach twisting. As he began to venture into the woods, a little tune was hummed under his breath and his fingers idly tapped against your back. A harmless gesture any other day or situation, but it meant he was excited. No doubt to show you something and to explain his scarce presence over the past few days.

“You’ve always shared a lot of your culture with me. Food, celebrations, talk of your society and how it functions, and even what love is like in your world,” Fierce finally broke the silence of the forest (why are the woods quiet? Why can’t you see any fairies fluttering around?). “I thought, perhaps… I could do the same. It’s not much, but I still want you to enjoy a few things I did back when I was in my prime.”

With those partially cryptic words finally spoken, you were set down on your own two feet and spun around. In a small clearing of the forest now sat a little feast. Placed upon a round but sizeable table were multiple plates of decadent food. Some dishes were familiar to you such as a fragrant seafood stew prepped with lobster, crab, prawns, and fish. Strips of glazed and tender gourmet meat rested upon a suitable bowl of rice. There was also a charcuterie and meat board loaded with all sorts of treats. The sight was enough to get your stomach rumbling and you sat down in the smaller chair at the table. With the hot and fresh food before you (no doubt kept that way with the use of a little magic), your worries could wait for a moment.

“This is but a sliver of the food that use to grace the tables I ate at. While this little feast lacks many things, mainly ambrosia and entertainment, I do hope you enjoy it,” Fierce states as he watches you dig into whatever was closest to you. The food tasted just as amazing as it looked and smelled, so Fierce had to have gotten help from someone. Perhaps Wild or the cooks at Hyrule castle? Whoever it was, you were grateful to them.

As you enjoyed some of the gourmet meat and rice bowl, another plate was slid over to you. It appeared to be a standard plate of steak but the meat on the plate wasn’t beef. It looked similar to beef, but it sooner looked like a filet than a steak. Not to mention that the smell may have been meaty and savory, but not beef like. It was also generously covered in a thin, dark sauce and plated with a small pile of what you imagined was the Hyrule equivalent of home fries.

Curious to try the new dish, you moved it closer and brought your fork and knife to it. You did your best to slice against the grain and pulled away with a good bite of the meat. After a quick dip in the sauce it came with, you plopped it into your mouth and began to chew. It was soft and tender and had a similar mouth feel to regular steak, but the taste was far from that simple. It had the meaty heaviness that came with red meat but it’s taste was a bit closer to poultry. The tangy sauce helped cover up the subtle, bitter aftertaste of the food.

“What do you think? It’s the one dish I prepared myself,” Fierce commented as he watched you. He practically seemed to be on the edge of his seat and his eyes bore straight through you. His eagerness towards your commentary was strange given how innocent this little date night had been so far, so you decided to not question it too much as not to ruin the mood.

“It’s an interesting taste. It tastes good and the sauce is a good pair for the meat, but it’ll still take some getting used to,” You replied before taking another bite out of the meat. Since this was the plate Fierce had specially prepared himself, it would be nice of you to finish it.

“I also made a drink. It’s not as close to the mortal made ambrosia as I hoped it would be, but I hope you enjoy it,” Fierce pipes up yet again as he hands you a wine glass full of what looks similar to red wine. It’s darker in color, though, as well as more opaque. When you go to taste it, you also notice that it’s just a bit thicker than normal wine. While there is the taste of grapes and alcohol in it, there’s also a noticeable twang of raspberry and something else you can’t put your finger on. Much like the meat, there was subtle, bitter aftertaste. You offer Fierce a nod of approval and, for the moment, that’s that.

The midnight meal passes by rather peacefully. The forest is still all too quiet for your liking but at least you and Fierce keep each other company. When it eventually becomes too much to take so much as another bite out of any of the food, the deity also sets down his utensils along with you. As you sit and digest your food, Fierce goes about packing up the leftovers and storing them in his own enchanted pouch.

Instead of picking you back up and taking you back to the castle, Fierce beckons you to follow him closer into the forest. You comply, albeit a bit sluggishly due to a full belly and the early stages of fatigue. Wherever he’s taking you next mustn’t be far or else he would’ve picked you up.

The next spot he takes you to is dark and ill lit by moonlight. You can make out what appears to be a… tub? It’s clearly filled with liquid and had all kinds of petals scattered around it and in it. Underneath the earthy and floral scent of the scene, there’s another smell that you turn your nose from. With it being smothered by everything else, though, the most you can describe it as is a stale musk.

Gently, Fierce begins to pull away the pajamas covering your body. He keeps his actions slow and steady so you could make him stop at any time. You don’t as you understand he wasn’t going to do anything bad to you and, before long, your night clothes and underwear are neatly put to the side. Fierce helps you into the tub and let’s your body slowly sink into the liquid. There’s a noticeable thickness to the liquid- like a thinned out syrup. Aside from that and the smell, it was only luke warm. Were there more moonlight or just any light in general, you’d be able to properly see the color of the liquid.

Fierce kneels down by your side and begins to rub the liquid into the parts of your body that aren’t submerged. He says little aside from a few orders to move one way or the other. Whatever elixir it is that you’re bathing in is also added into your hair and generously applied to your face. Your best guess is that this was some sort of soak that Fierce must have done to himself way back when. Whether it was going to be beneficial for you or not would be something you could get figured out later.

“I imagine you’re curious about all of this,” Fierce murmurs out as he continues to “wash” your hair. “The meal, this bath, and what more I may have planned…”

“Well, yes… that’s been in the back of my mind the entire time,” You confirm after a moment of hesitance. That telltale churning in your gut was starting to act up but you did your best to hide it. You weren’t the only one nervous, though, as Fierce also seemed to be getting anxious as well. It buzzed through the bond like a bee’s nest. Nervousness was a rather rare emotion for the deity and it made your blood run cold at whatever he may be planning.

“Remember… how I promised that my love for you is eternal? Well, it is but… you’re not,” Fierce sighs and the bond is flooded with sadness that threatens to make you sob until the sun rises. Thankfully, it doesn’t last for much longer as Fierce seems to focus his train of thought elsewhere.

“Y-Yeah?” You cough out after a bit. Fierce remains still and silent for a few moments despite your stare. Slowly, his eyes meet yours and the intensity that stirs within them could have been enough to kill.

“I think I’ve figured out a solution to that.”

What?

What did he mean by that? Was… was he planning on turning you into a god? Or, at the very least, immortal? There’s little else his comment could be interpreted as. But how would such a thing even be possible? As far as you can recall, you’ve stumbled across nothing in Hyrule or its history that hints at mortals being able to ascend to divinity.

“Fierce, how… is that even… I-”

“You need not stress, dearest. The process has already begun and you’re fairing quite fine so far,” Fierce smiles.

What?!

You nearly leap out of the tub and scramble across the ground. Your wild dreams of escape are shattered as Fierce quickly wrangles you into his hold and attempts to calm you down. He even tries to send calming and relaxing sensations across the bond but it does little to soothe your frantic mind. Not only that, but you managed to get to a point in the forest where there was more moonlight. The pale light illuminated your bare skin and it only showed red. Red, red, red, red, red.

It’s blood. You had been soaking in blood.

By some miracle, you managed to not upheave tonight’s meal. That didn’t stop you from kicking and screaming to get away from Fierce. Unlike times before when he had crossed a line, Fierce showed no sign of backing off. He kept you pinned to the ground and simply took any blow you sent his way head on. It was simply a matter of letting you tire yourself out.

“Shh… it’s okay, you’ll be fine, (Name),” Fierce hushed as he pressed the side of your head against his chest. His heart beat was slow and steady like a bass drum. It contrasted the never ceasing allegro of your own heart and you worried that, at this rate, you’d end up fainting.

After quickly adjusting his embrace around you, Fierce lifts you up and carries your body to the next destination of this “date night”. Your kicks had lost their wind and had become little more than wiping your foot against him. You try to look at anything but the red ick still clinging to you or Fierce. Vaguely, standing just above the tree line and nearing the horizon lines, were the tallest towers on Hyrule Castle. It was so far away that you couldn’t really see the flags mounted on their peaks flapping in the breeze nor would anyone there be capable of hearing the loudest scream you could make (would anyone even come to your rescue if they heard you? Who in their right minds would think to try and fight against a god?)

Something cold and hard presses against your back. Your view shifts as Fierce lays you down on stone and quickly goes about securing your arms and legs. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s laid you flat on an altar. What ritual he had planned was for him to know and for you to cruelly find out.

“I’ve never wanted to hurt you before and I still don’t. I will never feel the urge to harm you but… I have to do this. If I don’t, then you’ll become victim to your mortality and I’ll be left alone. I can’t exist without you anymore, (Name)... I can’t,” Fierce whines and that sadness from earlier crashes over you again. Your thoughts turn to the darkest possibilities given your current state, but things are made abundantly clear when a hidden dagger is pulled from beneath the god’s linens.

You’ve never seen a dagger that looked so ritualistic before. It’s blade was carved and sharpened from the tooth of a beast and runes or words of a language you couldn’t read were etched into the blade. Its handle was made from stained and wrapped leather that had a few brilliant feathers bound in it. For the first time since properly meeting him, you could see Fierce’s hand shake as he poised the blade.

“I think… you’re ready. You’ve been strengthened enough to take my blood tonight. You’ve drank, ate, and bathed in my essence. Now, it is time for it to enter your veins- raw and unfiltered,” Fierce muttered. With care and precision, the blade was brought to your skin. Enough pressure was applied so that it began to cut through the layers of your skin. He stopped just shy of your sternum and began to pull the blade down the length of your torso. It was a slow and agonizing pain you couldn’t describe so you only screamed. You screamed and screamed and screamed. You fought against the bindings that held you but it was to no avail.

The blade finally stopped just past your pectorals before pulling away. Fierce laid the blade against his hand and sliced in deep. A small sputter of blood spattered out as a result and it feels like fire when it makes contact to your open wound. The pain is only amplified tenfold when Fierce presses his cut palm down on the slash of your chest. Your voice raises to an octave you didn’t know was possible as what feels akin to liquid fire begins to spread through your chest. This is only worsened by the icy sting of sadness and despair as Fierce struggles to keep a lid on his own emotions. You can see his lips moving and know he’s mumbling something but you can’t tell if it’s some kind of mantra to complete the ritual or a shoddy attempt at keeping himself calm.

As his blood spreads out further and further, you find that the world is becoming more and more incoherent. Black spots smudge your vision and static feels your ears. Fierce’s face, contorted into so much pain and anguish, is the last thing you see before passing out.

Your mind feels as though it’s drifting around on the inky waters of unconsciousness. Even though this feeling is unknown to you and you don’t know what awaits you when- if you wake up, you feel peaceful. There is no pain to feel and no sights to disturb you. All you sense is your body drifting along and the occasional noise. The noise is that of someone speaking or shouting or crying- you can’t tell. It’s so distant and sounds as if it’s underwater. It’s like a siren call that plays on your curiosity and empathy to open your eyes. To wake up and investigate or comfort whoever it is that’s calling for you.

“...p… wa… up…”

Perhaps you weren’t unconscious. Maybe you were dead? It’s possible given the… trauma? That you just went through? (What happened? The pain the pain the pain the pain the pain the pain It’s all gotten so blurry? Golden Three preserve me save me)

“Ple…. wake… please, (Na… up…”

Were you now drifting down the River Styx? Maybe, maybe not. It had always been portrayed as hellish and depressing, but you felt so peaceful. Maybe Hyrule just had a nicer one that home did.

“Golden Three, please… pray that they… return them to… give me back my…”

Hmm… the waters were beginning to feel a little choppy. Were you finally arriving at your destination? Whatever that meant…

“(Name), please! COME BACK TO ME!”

Your eyes snapped open as breath returned to your lungs. You were stuck staring straight up at the inky abyss above you. Somehow, the night sky was now bespeckled with glittering stars and you could better make out the twisting and mixing nebulas of color.

Your head lolled to the side and you saw that Fierce had devolved into the dictionary definition of a mess. Tears streamed down his cheeks and smears of red were all over him. His hair was bunched up and knotted- no doubt from him pulling and tearing at his own hair. Heavy and harsh breaths racked his frame as he was nearly hunched over your body. His stillness was enough to convince you he had turned to stone until his entire body seemed to go lax. He toppled over and landed across your bare skin but neither you nor he cared much about that at the moment.

“You came back… you came back…” He gargled out. His voice, once deep and smooth, was now crackly. He buried his face against your body to hide his expressions from you as he clung to you like a child to their blankie.

“What… happened?” You finally croaked out as you took in your surroundings. Everything was so… sharp. In focus. You could make out the the individual veins on the leaves of nearby trees. You could see dew beginning to form on grass a distance away from where you were laying. Fluttering high above the trees, you could also see the flying and swooping forms of bats. Its like you were looking at everything through the lens of a telescope.

A metallic rattle then click alerts you to the shackles (when did those get there?) on your wrists. Fierce had managed to get up and was working on getting you freed from them. Once unbound, he wasted no time in scooping you up and hurrying through the forest. You gripped onto him as tightly as you could before you felt him come to an abrupt stop. Icy cold water was splashed over your body and Fierce used his shirt to wipe you off. The shirt was quickly stained red and you hadn’t realized you were positively coated in dried blood.

As your skin was cleared of the red ichor, you realized that your chest looked rather weird. The skin was scarred but the scar itself was strange. It was a thin but long and straight line down your chest. It wasn’t your skin’s natural color, but silver like it was made of metal. Feeling it confirmed that it was still your skin and nothing else.

You turn your head upwards to ask Fierce a question but not even a word gets the chance to fall from your lips as Fierce kisses you desperately. Romance and love aren’t the present emotions to be felt in the kiss- it’s despair and relief all wrapped up in an overwhelming amount of guilt. The kiss lasts long enough that you eventually have to claw at Fierce’s chest to push him away. Sweet air flies back into your lungs and you’re left huffing and puffing yet again.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry,” Fierce whispers as he hangs his head low. You knew he was apologizing for more than just the rather crude kiss, but your brain was in a fog. You still couldn’t place what had happened for him to be so distraught.

“I remember… eating? Yeah, we were eating in the forest and then you took me somewhere. I was soaking in… in something but after that… everything’s a blur…” You mumbled out and massaged a sudden ache in your temples. Trying to remember what happened, even if it was only a small detail, made your head pound.

“I…” Fierce starts to speak but stops himself. Amongst the whirlpool of emotions in his eyes and bubbling behind the currently closed doors of the bond, you could see that Fierce was thinking. He was thinking about how to phrase his next words carefully. It was odd behavior coming from him given that he preferred to be bluntly honest. “It… doesn’t matter anymore. Things spiraled out of control for a moment but… but everything is okay now. I promise.”

It didn’t exactly feel like a lie (It is it is it is run run run run no longer trust him, don’t love him, stop listening to him, stop) but it wasn’t the truth. Whatever happened had scared Fierce- a man you once thought incapable of feeling fear. Because of that reason alone, you took his word.

“Let’s get back to the castle before the boys or the princess start to wake up,” You state as you try to take control of the situation. It works as Fierce nods and stands up. He lets you stand on your own two feet while he runs off to go get something. After a minute, he returns with your night clothes in hand. He doesn’t speak up or do anything as you get dressed. Once it’s time to start heading back, he doesn’t pick you up but rather walks alongside you, hand in hand.

The small yet noticeable deviations in Fierce’s habits made it clear he was still in some state of shock. You didn’t know what to do to snap him out of it or if you should just let it run its course. You decide on simply intertwining your fingers with his and giving his hand a gentle squeeze to let him know that you’re here and you’re okay (no no no no no no no don’t do that, don’t encourage him, it makes things worse, so so so so much worse).

“(Na… (Name)?” Fierce whispers out. His tone makes him sound like a distraught child wanting to call out to their parent or older sibling. It’s fear and hurt ready to break past the dam that’s barely holding it in.

“Yes, honey?” You hum and give him a small smile.

“You’re… here, right?” Fierce asks. The snarky part of you wants to scoff at the question but you understand that now’s not the time for that.

“Yes. I’m right here,” You confirm and squeeze his hand again.

“You… won’t… ever leave me, will you? I don’t want to be alone again,” Fierce mumbles. Your heart clenches (no, don’t, don’t feel sympathy for the monster) as it’s clear Fierce is thinking back to the time he was trapped in the mask. No doubt being left along for decades, if not centuries, between wielders left him with a fear of abandonment. God of war he may be, it didn’t mean he wasn’t (a monster, a torturer, a villain) without feeling.

“I won’t leave you. I won’t leave you or the boys. You’ve all been through so much and deserve some kindness after all of the cruelty,” You claim, your voice stern and firm much like the statement itself.

“You… love me? You love me, right?” Fierce finally asks the question that had been brewing in his chest. His eyes, ever the window to his soul, showed all. The searching, the yearning, the despair, the anguish, the fear, the worry, the sadness, the hopefulness, the happiness, and the love (the insanity, the madness, the darkness).

“Fierce, I… yes… yes, I do love you,” You admit. It was true (no it wasn’t). Perhaps it was because he never gave up on you despite how conflicted you felt. He waited and was there for you every step of the way without even having to ask. It may have been intense, it may have a bumpy ride, but you were here now. Here with your hand in his and with a clear mind (it’s all so warped and foggy, he won’t let me think straight).

“Will you love me for eternity?” Fierce inquires. His tone is a bit lighter now, as are his eyes. It’s as if the increasing weight of the world was finally lifted off his shoulders. He was still patiently waiting for your answer.

“Hmm…”

Don’t say it…

“Eternity is a long time, honey…”

Eternity is forever, I’ll be trapped with him forever…

“But…”

No, please…

“Yes, Fierce…”

No… no…

“I will love you for eternity.”

#yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere lu #yandere lu x reader #yandere lu fierce deity #yandere lu fierce deity x reader

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rubydubydoo122 · 2 months

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Ok…so I saw a post about Dick hating Jason after he came back from the dead and like… it said that canonically, Dick wishes Jason stayed dead.

And, like, yeah, I guess that makes sense, but it also rubbed me in the wrong way? Like… hrgh.

But like… I’ll accept that Dick didn’t like Jason when Jason was 17/18/19 taking over Gothams crime. ONLY BECAUSE—

And ONLY because, as someone who has multiple siblings, especially in dysfunctional households, you hate them for the longest time of your life either because

A.) your parents put a sibling on a pedestal or

B.) because a sibling refuses to stay within the boundaries that the parent has created,

which is literally the problem for both Dick and Jason.

In Jason’s eyes, Dick is the golden child and can do no wrong. In Dicks eyes, he sees Jason’s ‘crime lord’ era as petty teenage rebellion, and blatant disrespect towards Bruce and his morals/teachings.

Eventually, you realize that at the end of the day, the only person who really understands you is your sibling. They more or less went through the same thing, they just have a different way of processing through it. So one random Tuesday, you’ll be acting like you haven’t been hating each other your whole life, and then a couple years later you’ll be saying things like ‘remember that time I almost killed you’ and ‘oh yeah, I absolutely hated you back then’ but you’ll be laughing as you say it because it was genuinely so petty the way you acted with/towards them when you should’ve been hating your parents.

TLDR: parents playing favorites will lead to sibling resentment but eventually turn into a lifelong bondage that’s stronger than iron

#jason todd #batfam #dc comics #dick grayson #batman #red hood #nightwing #if you don’t understand this #you’re an only child #that’s the only thing I can tell you #I also think Dick not wanting Jason alive was him working backwards through his stages of grief #idk if it was denial or unloading acceptance

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antonsgf · 5 months

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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ bf!anton pt. 2 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

bye this is so long overdue oops !! part one is here !!

bf!anton likes to send you little texts throughout the day just to update you on what he's doing while on schedules and he most definitely miss you :(

he would also send tik toks and .5 pics of his hyungs just for funisies and you should send some back !!!

speaking of tik toks, yall would spend hours creating some !! your drafts are filled with 100s of silly little videos

especially trendy couple vids like this one :))

bf!anton would definitely bring you around to hang out with his hyungs and of course they would tease him !!

but don't worry because you would definitely defend your man if needed be !!

like imagine one night yall are having a group movie night and you're all snuggled up next to tonny and giving him a smooch on the cheek

next thing you know eunseok is like "ugh get a room :P"

without a beat your response would be like "damn bro i would be mad too if i didn't have someone kissing up on me like get a gf :P"

everyone is like ":O ohhhhhh shit!" "you finally met your match hyung :)" lmao you and eunseok would go toe to toe !!

you gets down and you dont play about your tonny !! it's all jokes though so no worries :))

aside from that anton would feel so much pride and happiness from the sight of you getting along with his hyungs esp sohee !! but like sohee was lowkey his wingman tho LMAOOO

tonny is an unconfirmed taurus venus, which in my delulu head means one of his favorite things to do with you is taking a nap or cuddling which leads to said naps !!

he just give top tier cuddler like !! his arms look so warm and welcoming adafklhfjhafjhd

imagine yall cuddling up all nice and peaceful !! you're wearing one of his t-shirts and he's holding you all warm and snug throughout the night against his chest ahhh !! i would simply just die right then and there fr !!

the next morning you wake up with his arms still around you and you're like stuck physically because his arms are locked in !!

it's always the same scenario of you two being like

"ant we gotta get up :3" "ahh just five more minutes baby :3"

his sleepy self would refuse to let go because being bed with you is like paradise !! and he doesn't want it to end...unless...

"i'll make your special yogurt parfait you like for breakfast :)"

he would relunctantly let you go but only because how could he turn down his special greek yogurt parfait that he is more than capable of making himself made by the love of his life ???

and it's not even all that !! you literally found a recipe on tiktok and made it for him one day !! now he texts you every now and then wishing you were around to make it !!

"babe it's literally four ingredients ??" "but it's not the same when you don't make it :(("

food would be another part of his love language because we all know how much our boy loves his snacks !!

and how could you deny your boyfriend from a treat that's handmade from you ?? like make it make sense ??

thanks for reading and waiting lmaooo !! might make make this a series but no promises !!

feel free to send me asks or let me know what yall think :3

♡ kimmia ♡

#anton #riize #anton lee #anton fluff #riize headcanons #literally took so long lmao school was kicking my ass !!

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sunshine-jesse · 5 months

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Ashley Literally Did Nothing Wrong, Fuck You, Fight Me

Alt title: Ashley Graves: The most convenient scapegoat in the world

I'm going to espouse a take here that will no doubt be controversial, as you can tell by the title. This is a take I've created from my hollistic understanding of the events of the game, and isn't dependent on any one single point I make in this essay. Because of that, I want you to read it with an open mind; if you hyperfocus on one or two smaller details I might've gotten wrong or are fallaciously interpretated, and either use that to discount the whole essay or go into the comment section and immediately try to debunk my interpretation of that event, that'll make it obvious to me that you're not trying to seriously engage with the core of what I'm trying to say. Because unless quite literally everything I've said here is wrong, I feel confident in saying this:

Ashley Graves did nothing wrong.

Moreover, I think Ashley is on the level of people like Rossiu, Shinji Ikari, and Skylar White as far as people who are mistreated by their fandoms goes.

At first this was going to be an essay about how I don't think the demons are evil, using textual and thematic evidence to show that they're just part of a system that deals mostly fairly with humans and doesn't have any nefarious plans, or at least nefarious plans that stand to fuck anyone over. But then I realized that, goodness gracious, that is boring as shit to write! But I looked at what I had written already and realized that I could write something else with it: something better. I could sum up a lot of the points made in my prior essays and elaborate upon them in much more detail, showing why I think certain themes are obviously present within this game. And here, I intend on doing that.

I've spoken a lot before about how Ashley is a scapegoat for all of Andrew's worst habits; and to a lesser extent, her mother's. The game makes it seemingly obvious that she's the bad one, and generally just a Very Not Good person. It shows her and her brother committing many different acts that are, under most moral systems, wrong, and implicitly implies that she's the reason that Andrew ever did those things. It implies that she's corrupting him, that he could be better and refuses- or is unable to- due to her poking and prodding. But… is that the truth? Is that how their relationship actually works, in practice? I don't believe so. I think I've made it obvious by now that I believe the exact opposite!

I'm going to start off by tackling the morality behind their actions, especially relative to the world they're in. Specifically, I'm going to tackle how the game presents the morality of their actions from a thematic point of view, and any statements it may or may not make.

First of all, TCOAL plays with a lot of different taboos- demon summoning, cannibalism, incest, murder- but the game goes through great lengths to muddy the moral weight of the siblings' actions. Every single action they commit is portrayed in the most neutral possible light- killings were done in self defense (with one notable exception), or done to people who greatly wronged them, cannibalism was a necessity to survive (also with one notable exception), incest is shown to come from a marked improvement in their relationship- leading me to believe that this game is taking a hard morally nihilistic stance. Else, they'd be shown to suffer for their actions, when in reality, the literal exact opposite is happening; they are being rewarded for it. This isn't necessarily glorifying the actions, but instead showing that even the worst of actions can potentially be excused, but whether or not you do is up to the reader. Hence, nihilism, or at the very least, skepticism (as noted by Lisafication). There's an existentialist reading of this too, but I think much of that is contingent on the events of chapter 3 so I won't get into that here.

It contrasts this mostly nihilistic perspective on interpersonal taboos with the deep societal ills that drive people to commit such actions. Evil exists at every level of analysis here, but curiously, the only thing that are shown to do direct harm to others without having a justification of some kind- be it self-defense or retaliation- are those societal ills. There is no (morally) good reason to quarantine people, starve them, and harvest their organs. There's no good reason to burn all evidence and then put a hit on the ones who did escape. There's no good reason to extort sexual favors from someone in exchange for food. These are deep structural problems that force people to either retaliate/lash out or enable people's most exploitative or abusive habits lest they just let themselves die.

And thus, the obvious evils become much less obvious. The game makes a point of subverting the obvious or the well-known when it comes to morals, and I think it does so when it comes to everything else, too. Outside of those societal ills (so far, ch3 might have something else to say), every situation where someone could obviously be shown as the bad person in a situation is immensely more complex than it first appears. So much so that I'd argue that displaying said complexity and subverting simplicity to force/encourage people to analyze things deeper is one of the central themes of the game.

So why, exactly, does he blame so much on her? It's because Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat, and the game is well-aware of this and displays it in ways both obvious and not.

First off: the title screen has Ashley wielding the cleaver, establishing that she’s the violent one. It's covered in blood, too, implying that she's the one more driven to kill. The reality of this is the opposite; Andrew is the one with less hesitation to inflict violence on others, the cleaver is his weapon, and most of the kills in the story are done by him (and fully justified). Ashley might push him to do these violent acts, but… does she?

Her reaction to the death of the first warden is one of utter shock.

And her expression afterwards?

This is not the look of someone who enjoyed the fact that someone killed for her sake. This is not the look of someone who finds joy to be had in violence. It's not even the look of someone who is apathetic towards violence. It almost seems to express shame or guilt, but at the very least, she's timid over it. At the very least, it's an "oh shit, he actually had to do that for my sake" face. Not a "haha, I am making him worse!" face.

Not to mention, not only does Andrew kill the first Warden without a care in the world, he proactively kills the 302 lady to eliminate all witnesses, and because he believes Ashley would want him to. But Ashley actually grills him for it; she didn't want the 302 lady to die, although she hardly had good-person-reasons for it. But that's not my point. The point is that she is not the violent one between the two of them.

The door doesn't open in response to violence, remember?

The game intentionally misleads us.

And what happens when Ashley tries to make him take responsibility for all this violence? To point out that she didn't force him to do anything and that he chose to do all of it, including lock Nina in the box? She lashes out, hits him a few times… and then he goes to strangle her, and doesn't let go until she acknowledges that he has no reason for her to be around. He literally doesn't cease his threat to her life until she acknowledges she's useless to him.

I acknowledge that this isn't the most charitable framing for Andrew, and maybe too charitable for Ashley. After all, she wasn't indignant. She was mocking him. She found it hilarious. But I have reasons for that charitability that I'll go over towards the end. But even with that charitability in mind, I don't think my reading is too off base. Defaulting to laughter or mocking in stressful situations is just what Ashley does. She's not indignant about it; she just finds it hilarious that people keep pretending to be better than her, when they're not.

Andrew killed the 302 lady and used Ashley as a scapegoat to justify it; this is indisputable, stated in the text during the dream. This alone validates Ashley's point of view. There is no interpretation of this event that doesn't paint Andrew as every bit as unscrupulous as Ashley, and thinking she corrupted him into this- when it was both one of the first actions he did on his own in the story and something he explicitly uses Ashley as a scapegoat for- is just ridiculous. It's frankly unreasonable. She has every right to be sick of being used as a scapegoat. And at the very least, whether or not you accept the idea that Andrew only let Ashley go once she acknowledged that she's useless to him, he's still so taken aback by his misinterpretation of Ashley's desires that HE goes to strangle HER.

This is NOT Andrew triumphantly standing up to his abuser. This is both of their masks slipping; Andrew revealing how violent and insistent on keeping up his internal narrative that he is, and Ashley revealing that she's getting tired of being blamed for everything.

And then, when he finally lets her go… she hugs him, and acknowledges that she's happy that Nina is gone, which makes little sense at the face of it. Why would that be her first response to being let go, when it was ostensibly what made Andrew so upset to begin with?

I think, to her, it's a conciliatory gesture. As chapter 2 showed us, she's more than willing to take responsibility for violence to relieve Andrew of stress over it, as evidenced by her finishing off their parents. This is an earlier instance of that; by acknowledging she was happy that Nina was dead, she took responsibility for it. She willingly framed herself as a bad person here, so Andrew wouldn't have to be.

She let herself be the scapegoat, because it's all she ever knew. She put the mask back on.

This alone is enough to challenge the idea that Ashley 'corrupts' Andrew in any meaningful way. How, exactly, can you define it as corrupt when society itself is twisted enough to force these actions to survive? In a more sane world, a lot of their actions would've been bad, sure, but they're also actions that the siblings probably wouldn't have done in a more sane world. Ashley's actions aren't making Andrew worse, they're helping to ensure their survival. You could say that this is still corruptive in its own way, but at that point it seems like your reasoning is motivated by having already had that narrative rather than making a good-faith reading of their dynamic.

At no point did she actually make him worse; he was already like that and just used her as an excuse.

Next up is the Nina situation. This one is obviously cut and dry- Ashley manipulates Andrew into killing Nina because she wants no competition between the two of them. It's not Andrew's fault and Ashley was an evil abuser from the jump. Obvious, right?

No. It's really not.

It's pretty strongly implied that Ashley was mistreated by people her whole life. The Lemon Cupcake scene shows this in more detail, about how people always neglect or ignore her birthdays, but she also says that nobody likes her because she's weird and loud in the Nina flashback too. But unless something big happened in between the two flashbacks, none of this behavior indicates particularly maladaptive or even strange tendencies on Ashley's part. She's a needy, bratty child, and the closest thing to a friend she has- Nina- wants to take away the one thing from her that's a source of comfort and emotional validation.

It's not entirely rational, sure! But it also -makes perfect sense-. NOBODY treated her well throughout her entire life; it's strongly implied that Nina never did either, given Nina's reaction to Ashley being there and the lower left-hand painting past the Questionable door showing her being distant from the two of them. We can also see a star bouncing off of her head, and stars represent closeness in this game, so it shows there was an attempt made somewhere along the line, it's just not clear as to who made the attempt.

At the very least, Nina's reaction of disappointment fed into Ashley's preconceived notions of how people treat her, and how she deserves to be treated. Although, from what has been directly stated, rather than implied, Nina was nothing more than an innocent victim in this scenario; I don't mean to take that away from her.

"But she didn't care when Nina died?"

So? If Nina treated her like trash for most of her life, why should she care? She didn't expect Nina to die. It was just an acceptable consequence. You can say "That's not how normal kids act!" all you want, but there's a level of spite and apathy that comes with intense bullying and emotional neglect that I don't think you really understand unless you've been there to the extent someone like Ashley has implied to be.

Andrew, meanwhile, was the one who told Ashley that they had to lock Nina in the box to keep them in there. He's the one who looked for and found the stick to keep them locked in. You could say he was coerced by an abusive person into hurting someone, sure, but you'd be wrong. Cataclysmically wrong, even. Like, if you actually think that a seven year old girl (nobody wears overalls past the age of seven) can have anything approximating an abusive dynamic with her as the perpetrator with someone both older and stronger than her, you frankly have some issues with women you need to work out. That's simply not how abuse dynamics work at that age.

Andrew wasn't entirely responsible for it either, mind- he was just a kid who should never have been saddled with this kind of responsibility. But that's not my point; the point is that it enables other people, Andrew included, to use her as a scapegoat to avoid his own responsibility. All this scene does is retroactively justify any preconceptions you might've had about them from seeing their adult selves first. But the moment you start digging, it becomes much less obvious who's really culpable here. Andrew was, as evidenced by the blood oath scene, fully aware that he held the advantage over her in strength, and managed to give up nothing when making the oath while he made Ashley swear to silence. He was fully aware that he could've chosen to do better, but he refused, and instead opted to reinforce Ashley's insecurities for the sake of exerting control over her.

I've said before that the 302 lady was murdered without any input from Ashley, but this is also relevant on a meta-level because it's done without any input from the player, either. Both of the murders in chapter 1 were like that, whereas all that we, the player can choose to do in that chapter is either solve puzzles, or hilariously, die. The only person with control here is Andrew, the character, and this is reinforced by the fact that we have no control over him for much of the Nina flashback, too. He locks her in the box regardless of our input, even though Ashley spends a lot of time trying to convince him. The main difference between the Nina flashback and the scenes in the apartment is that Ashley had absolutely no idea that any of that was going to happen in the present, whereas it's something she wanted with Nina- which isn't that big of a difference when discussing how much agency she really has.

As much as the game frames Ashley as a manipulator- and much of the fanbase uncritically accepts- she is given shockingly little in-game control over many of the actions committed. Even in the case of the Hitman- as a good friend of mine pointed out- the only choice the player is given is whether or not to check the closet and be killed; an impulsive decision leading to a swift and unceremonious end. In the end, Andrew is the one given the choice to kill the hitman, and we can consciously choose whether or not his reaction is panicked or measured. No such choice is given to Ashley, as most of her reactions are impulsive and spontaneous rather than planned. This is not the makings of a standard "manipulative evil bitch" trope. She's pretty consistently portrayed as someone with poor impulse and emotional control who loudly and aggressively states her intent in every single scenario she's in.

And you can still call what she says and does manipulative despite that, sure, but at what point are you just pathologizing relatively normal (if extreme and highly emotional) social interactions for the sake of fitting into a narrative you already held?

We see Ashley's status as a scapegoat for people to use to pretend to be normal reach its most blatant with the parents. This time it's pretty cut and dry to anyone that doesn't already have it in their mind that Ashley is evil and unforgivable. Mrs. Graves explicitly brings up the possibility of a normal life without Ashley to Andrew in the basement, and claims that Ashley was at fault for shutting her out. She would've been a normal parent otherwise, right? Well, no; the game wastes no time in showing that this wasn't the case in the Burial ending.

From when Ashley was a baby, Mrs. Graves was already tired of her shit, and too emotionally exhausted to be a parent. Despite her attempts at blaming Ashley, she would've never been a normal parent unless Ashley was a golden child in the same way that Andrew was. And yet Ashley didn't even deny shutting her mom out. She didn't deny the chance to be used as a scapegoat; it was all she ever knew. The fact that Mrs. Graves had the audacity to claim that she was a saint when she was never prepared to be a parent for a child who didn't make it easy, and when she was willing to sell out her children and let them die for a life insurance payment is absolutely astounding.

This alone should've been enough to recontextualize everything we supposedly know about how responsible Ashley really is in all of this, but bad parents have a knack for being great at manipulating both family members and everyone viewing from the outside, including the people playing the game.

And almost including Andrew.

Andrew almost accepting the mom's offer is the single most tragic moment in the game, by far.

Dandy said it best in his video essay: By Ashley leaving Andrew alone with their parents, she showed that she is capable of changing. That she is capable of getting better. She showed that she loves and respects Andrew enough to be able to put aside her usual role as the scapegoat and allow him to make the decision that was for the best for both of them. And make no mistake, it was for the best; if the mom really DID sell out the siblings, and given the two of them were already on the run for supposedly being dead, there was no hope of any of this ever working out. They saw through the conspiracy and knew the truth of how the quarantine operations really worked. They were an active threat to one of the most powerful entities seen in the setting so far, to the point where they had a hitman sent after them.

Mrs. Graves had every reason to sell them out again, for their presence in a public setting was more than enough to put everyone in their family in danger. Mrs. Graves had every reason to believe that the normalcy she wanted was nothing that could ever be grasped again so long as her children were alive, and as such, it was clear that she had nothing to offer either Andrew or Ashley. Ashley trusted Andrew to see through their obvious manipulations and lies, and understand that the parents had nothing left to give them. She trusted him to love her more than the false promises their parents could give.

…And yet. In spite of it all.

In spite of her love, in spite of clearly displaying that she can grow up and become a person that causes him less stress, and in spite of Ashley showing that all she wants now is their safety and security…

Andrew can still choose to consider Ashley the problem. He can still choose to use her as the scapegoat he always has.

He can still choose to see her as the one thing that caused him to be this way, that stands in between him and normalcy, when she, not once, forced him to do anything.

Were he to accept Mrs. Graves' offer, this would've been the single most tragic moment in the game. It almost was, and still stands to be, because he ignores every indication that things could be better for the sake of his own narrative, and a narrative echoed by much of the fandom.

But no matter what ending was picked, things could be better. They could've been better all along. Compared to chapter 1, their dynamic in chapter 2 is already much healthier. Their banter is less venomous, and while they still poke and prod each other in ways that aren't exactly great, they don't get into the same violent fights we saw in the 302 room. By all accounts, what happened in that room was an outlier. Even when they find themselves in their parents' house, where they stand to do the One Thing That Means They Would Never Be Normal Again, Ever (ignoring the fact that this is already a lost cause by then), Ashley doesn't get into any fights with Andrew in the same way she did back in the apartment. All she wants is affirmation and security. She doesn't even lay into her mom like she lays into Julia over the phone, even in their private conversations.

We’re led to believe that she’s still getting worse because the actions she’s taking are more extreme, but her attitudes and behaviors are much, much different. The actual actions they're taking are so obviously the right thing to do (both morally and practically) that I don't think it's until they eat their parents that you should make a double take and go "Wow, maybe these goblins actually are kinda fucked up," because until then, well… everything is justified! Perfectly so! Even then, eating their parents serves a purpose, even if not a mentally healthy one.

Maybe she’s calmer because she’s in control over the situation, but if the calls she made to Julia are any indication (independent of the theory that she didn’t actually say those things), were she unchanged as a person, she still would’ve lashed out at their mother over how much more useful she is to Andrew than their parents were, or something of that nature. Something about how nothing their mom offers could compete with what Ashley gives. But she makes no such claims. She feels no need to prove anything to her parents, or to reaffirm her place in Andrew’s life even in the face of her mother challenging it (or at least implying such a challenge). Regardless of her insecurities, she’s changed. It’s hard to see, but she has.

And then Andrew can ignore that and consider betraying her because he refuses to believe that she's willing to make their dynamic work, when she shows many different indications of being willing to concede as long as Andrew stops giving her mixed signals.

A friend of mine put it best, and I'm pretty much quoting her word for word here, because of how strongly I agree with it. When I look at Ashley, I find very few actual "flaws." I see familiar wounds.

The Burial ending, despite being triumphant and not nearly as "dark" as some people think, is still very, very sad. A lot of abusive dynamics are characterized by someone having to fight every step of the way to get what they need from the other person, usually some kind of emotional validation or relief. This is what happens between Andrew and Ashley for most of the game: Ashley wants Andrew to treat their relationship as special, to acknowledge there's something to it beyond just him going through the motions. And yet for most of the game, he refuses to, especially in chapter 1. And then, in Burial, when he does…

She's confused.

A lot of people view this as her being afraid of losing control over Andrew, since her "Andy," who she can push around, is gone. Andrew has changed, and the same tricks wouldn't work. But that's not what that is; it's not about control, it's about her finally getting what she wants from him without having to fight. She still thinks about using sex as leverage to keep him around, but that's because she's never understood what it's like to have someone actually want to be around her. And I speak from experience; when you no longer have to fight for every little bit of emotional validation or relief, when you no longer have to keep checking your messages to keep an argument going so you can finally be proven right, when you no longer have to force yourself to let go, to stop engaging, the reaction isn't happiness. It's not relief.

It's confusion. It's discontent.

Because something you've tied so much of yourself up in to is no longer there, despite it being more peaceful, it still feels wrong. The dynamic still has to be this way in your mind, because you've never known anything else. You latch on to whatever you can in order to justify that, and your actions are still heavily biased in favor of maintaining your place in that nonexistent dynamic. This isn't manipulation; it's trauma. And the fact that Ashley almost immediately understands that Andrew is changing is nothing short of a miracle. By consolidating past and present Andrew into a single person rather than splitting them into two, she showing that she can actually heal from that trauma. And all Andrew had to do to enable this is to acknowledge that she CAN change, that things CAN be better, and that everyone who claims to be better than her is full of shit.

I've analyzed the events of the story in a way that may seem needlessly antagonistic to some characters, and overly charitable to others. But I have to ask you, that if you disagree with anything I've said:

Where does that disagreement come from? What about my narrative clashes with your own? -Why- does it clash? Is it because the game presents your interpretation as obvious, whereas mine is not? Is it because you've experienced someone like Ashley before in your life, and you know it when you see it? Maybe you strongly identify with Andrew, and view his status as a doormat with no agency to be obvious? Or did you just accept the narrative that much of the fanbase has taken at face value, without further analysis other than building on top of it?

I don't believe these things to be contrarian; I've held most of these opinions since my first or second playthrough. I don't believe what I do because you don't, I believe what I do because I understand what Ashley has been through. I've experienced a lot of the specific traumas she had, such as deep feelings of isolation and being deprived of the emotional validation I need from the people who need to give it. I know what it's like to be misunderstood, to have who and what I am taken for granted, and to be terrified of being abandoned by the people I need the most. I see what I do because I understand.

And I want to give her that understanding that nobody gave me.

Maybe you should think about it. Why do you take it for granted that Andrew is a doormat who is strung along by Ashley? Why do you find it so odd when the trope of a woman corrupting a good man through leveraging sex is drawn into question? Why is Ashley seen as crazy, when all of her actions are so straightforward and rational? How is she corrupting him, when the single most needlessly violent act in the whole story- outside of the Nina flashback- is done without her influence? Why is Ashley seen as the abusive one when Andrew both threatens and resorts to physical violence and witholds emotional validation?

Weirdly personal tangent aside, Ashley and Andrew are two of the most well-written characters I have ever seen. They're not written like archetypes who interact with each other through a series of tropes; they're written like real people who's words and actions have astoundingly human motivations. They come from places that we can understand and relate to.

And just like people, they deserve respect. In spite of all they've done, they deserve love.

But make no mistake, Ashley is not the one stopping that love from happening. She just has the audacity to still want it in spite of everything telling her that she doesn't deserve it. We're led to believe she wants too much, but all she ever wanted was the bare minimum that she was never given.

And she has every right to be mad about it.

#andrew graves #ashley graves #the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #tcoaal essay #gaming

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hubristicassholefight · 2 months

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Hubristic Asshole Fight: Round 1 Part 1b

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Feanor (The Silmarillion)

Propaganda below cut

Anakin

Decided that he would become stronger than death to stop those he cares about from dying after failing to accept his mother's death. When he begins getting visions/nightmares like he had before losing his mother of his wife dying in childbirth, he decides to team up with an evil sorcerer and mastermind to learn the secret to stopping death. The price he willingly paid was leading the slaughter of the community of peacekeeping monks who had raised him from nine years old, feeling guilt about his heinous betrayal even as he unflichingly continued the massacre (sunk cost fallacy to a very extreme degree). The unintended price he paid was the loss of his limbs and independence after his injuries during a fight with his mentor and brother figure, his wife dying on childbirth due to the great stress of his heinous actions, and being separated from his children until they were adults firmly opposed to the imperial regime he became the attack dog for (only knowing of their survival until after he had personally attacked them both); He literally did not have to do any of that. his wife Padmè very very very very much did not want him to do any of that. He was completely absorbed in his own inability to deal with loss that he deadlock refused to consider losing family again and then he went and killed what amounted to his extended family, his wife and the man who raised and guided him from age 9. And his own kids unknowingly. In terms of accomplishing your goals there really really wasn't much more he could have fucked up. And when it comes down to key moments, all he had to do was not cut off mentor and co-worker Mace Windu's hand with a laser sword and everything would have been fine. He's a nominee for Fail King of All Time to me

He thinks he's hot shit which, he is, but like cool it dude you don't have to mass murder maim mutilate your way through life to prove you're the extra most specialest bestest psychic space wizard;

Hubrised so hard he 1) lost his limbs and his skin 2) became what he hated 3) caused the very death he sought to prevent, betraying and destroying himself for nothing; So soaking wet and self aware that he cried committing atrocities. If he knew what hubris was, he'd agree he has a lot of it

Feanor

The definition of hubris. Created the silmarils who were so perfect even the gods praised them. Got them stolen by the gods evil brother (so essentially fantasy satan). Then decided to go fight the evil god to get the silmarils back and swore an oath binding him and his sons to get them back no matter who would stand in their way. This drastically backfired when some other elves stood in his way so he murdered them. Got cursed by the gods for this (together with his entire family and everyone who followed them). Told the gods that they were of the same kind as fantasy satan and that they would end up following him

Morgoth (a god) shows up at his house and Feanor (professional hater of gods) tells him to get fucked* and slams the door in his face. *”Get thee gone from my gate thou jail-crow of Mandos!”; He has never spent anything wrong ever aside from all the war crimes.

The Valar (gods) asked Feanor for help in saving the world from being in total darkness and he said “no, figure it out yourselves”. Repeatedly and intentionally goes against their orders leading to war and chaos; I know it’s left open ended to what really happened to him after he died, but I hope he never repents. I hope he stays an antagonistic and egotistical bastard after being reimbodied (brought back to life) and continues to make it everyone else’s problem. I love him.

I’m gonna have to try to do this without a sing Tolkien scholarship words so bear with me. Basically my dude is one of the smartest and most talented elves in the world. Unfortunately he has a lot of daddy issues AND mommy issues largely due to the fact that his mom died when he was a kid and decided not to come back (as elves can do). No one else has this problem. He invented a ton of important stuff and had seven sons. His most prized creation was three gems called the Silmarils, which contained the light of the Two Trees, which gave light to the world before they were destroyed. When the Valar (the gods of Tolkien’s world) asked if they could use the Silmarils to potentially create another light source, he emphatically refused and in fact became so jealous of them that he and his sons swore an oath that anyone who so much as touched them would die by their swords. Sauron’s boss steals the gems and Feanor decides that he will lead his people on a crusade to retrieve and avenge them. This results in the death of him, most of his people, and almost his entire family minus one of his sons, Galadriel, and Elrond; He once yelled at the devil to get off his lawn

went to war with morgoth (satan basically) against the will of the gods and made a whole speech to said gods about how they were gonna feel really silly when he killed morgoth and saved the whole world. he never actually did battle with morgoth because he died on like day 1 of getting to middle earth (he left like 2/3 of his forces behind because he didn’t trust them) and spontaneously combusted upon his death; he’s a huge asshole and a mad scientist and linguist and prince with daddy issues and also mommy issues

Dude thought he could win a fight with the devil, tried to just walk into Angband (Mordor before Mordor actually existed), made an oath to kill everyone that tries to take his creations even the Valar (angelic like beings) and ends up causing his death, his sons deaths and a bunch of other deaths; His name is quite literally spirit of fire Is basically regarded as THE greastest elf Is in fact THE best smith of the elves and crafts their most precious jewels (that end up causing so much death) Is THE linguist to the point of creating the alfabet every one uses even after The Crimes, creates a bunch of things that are used even after The Crimes actually Loves his dad more than the things he made Is the only recorded elf with seven kids Is married to a sculpter that is so good that people confuse her statues as actual people (a propaganda because he had to be good to actually bag her you know) Manages to create jewelry so good even the the angelics beings sent by god are surprised he managed to do it So good at making speeches that it leads to a rebellion against said angelic beings and a lot of people to leave paradise with him His mother died because his spirit was too powerful Invented kinslaying after trying to steal some boats for said rebellion Swears an oath that destroys his whole family (but adds a great flavour to the rest of the story) Tells the devil to fuck off and slams his house door on said devils face Dies via auto combustion because his spirit was just too powerful for a normal death Gets stuck in the afterlife (that elves can usually just return from) for spiting the Valar Is said he will have an important role in Tolkien’s version of Ragnarok by letting the jewels he previously promised to kill for be destroyed to defeat the devil

Because of his pride, he went against the gods because the evil god Morgoth stole his life's work (the Silmarils, 3 shiny gems that radiated the light of the two trees that a huge evil spider had sapped dry). Swore (with his 7 sons) an oath to hunt Morgoth and retrieve his shiny gems. Commited kinslaying, burned some boats, combusted to ashes after suffering mortal wounds at the hands of corrupted demi-gods. Consequences of his actions could be seen long long after his death: the oath was passed on to his sons to hopelessly fulfill (failure after failure, including two more kinslayings, one of them casting himself into a fiery volcano, another wandering the shores for eternity);

#anakin skywalker #star wars #feanor #the silmarillion #tolkien's legendarium #hubristic assholes tourney #round 1 #round 1 part 1b #official #poll

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sandraharissa · 7 months

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Giving Silco a bad eye and making this his symbol was such a genius idea, like it’s so delicious on so many levels.

For one it really adds to his look/design. Fans would often joke that he looks like a rat, which is fair and funny, but imo the goal of the designers was to make him look like a shark. He’s got this peculiar nose that gives his whole head roughly the shape of a shark snout, he’s got the broken teeth that look like triangular shark teeth, and then there’s the eye, which has no eyelid and never blinks, exactly like a shark’s eye.

(see Jinx gets it)

Then, on the topic of no eyelid, he obvs never blinks with that eye which gives the impression of constant surveillance and being all-knowing. This ties nicely into the eye being his symbol, the image we see of the open eye that never blinks that is present on all the locations he owns/has influence over/oversees. That was most definitely a part of Silco’s Undercity that he established, keeping ppl in line through fear. It’s reflected in his own man refusing to cooperate with Cait but instead of insulting her or claiming loyalty to a cause he says ‘he’ll kill me’, then we also see it with Babette (who I’m certain knew everything but wouldn’t risk it for Vi and so essentially lead Vi to Sevika/her death) and Huck. It’s most obvious with Marcus, how he thought he could do what he wanted (‘rescue Vi’) against Silco’s interests behind his back cos he’ll never find out, but he does find out eventually which puts Marcus and his daughter in a Situation. This is how Silco does business. (Babette knew and didn’t want to find herself in a Situation in the future imo, telling Vi nothing of value, sending Vi away in a way that wouldn’t cast suspicion on herself and wouldn’t tie Vi to the location of her brothel and essentially leading her to Sevika so she could retroactively claim loyalty even if found out.)

In general the eye imagery is often connected to seeing more than others, the third eye and knowledge. All apply to Silco through his ideas of independence and a unified nation that were revolutionary for the Undercity and ahead of its time. Most notable is the moment when he talks to Vander about Zaun, he looks in the distance as tho he can see it in front of him meanwhile others can’t. Here I could also point to other things like him understanding/being right about the Council like ‘I just need to scare them’ and also the thing Silco himself thinks of as a secret knowledge he possesses aka his monster ideology.

Lastly to me the eye in a big way represents his trauma. It’s literally a wound/disability that is the result of the traumatic event in question but metaphorically it also shows how ever since the traumatic event he’s never been able to see the world in a normal way again but that from then on the way he perceives the world is always filtered through the lens of his trauma. And that is the eye that never closes. But I also think it’s very fitting to give him the one bad eye but keep the other eye normal. I’d say it’s a fair assessment of Silco to say he lives with one leg in reality and the other in his delulu land.

And that also creates a nice contrast with Jinx whose designed so that her right eye is covered most times but just by her bang which could symbolize that she has blind spots and that her ability to see reality is obstructed but otherwise her both eyes are normal. But then she reaches her final form with the shimmer eyes, and even tho from a distance it now looks like she has got the bad left eye, in reality both her eyes are ‘trauma eyes’ now and she can’t see reality for what it is anymore.

#silco #arcane #jinx #my:arcane #silco and jinx #arcane worldbuilding

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dragonrider9905 · 1 month

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Racing Heart

Chapter 2

(Part 1)(Part 2)

Summery: You catch up with the Batch at last...and you can finally learn the truth about Tech and what he feels for you. Warning: Angst with a happy ending; jealousy; feelings of anxiety.

You pulled the drop of your hood further down to obscure your face and swirled the contents of your drink. The colors spinned and turned but refused to be mixed. The blue and purple layers were separated by a yellow one and when you turned the liquid about, it created a fascinating illusion. The lights were dim in the bar where you sat, but the illumination behind the bar created just enough light to throw beams into your glass. The ice cubes caught and increased the colors. It was a good thing it was all the entertainment you needed because you’d been sitting there a long time.

“Can you please stop that? You’re making me dizzy.” Your companion grumpily slurred.

He was bent over the counter, same as you, but his eyes darted to and fro, expertly and unsuspiciously. He turned his glass more gently, as if he were a connoisseur trying to decide how he felt about it. You didn’t understand how he could be so cool and act like he’d belong in any setting. You admired it. You wished you possessed the same amazing tactics but you didn’t. You were easier to read than a book. If it wasn’t for him, you'd have been spotted sooner than a sore thumb a long time ago. You’d been seen as you were, lost and far from home in a big and threatening galaxy full of scary beings. You were good with facts and figures. Data and books and computers. Dealing with people wasn’t really your forte.

Of course all that time in the field refined his talents but it was a talent nevertheless. In fact, if Crosshair hadn’t insisted on taking over at Safa Toma, you would have begged him to.

You and Crosshair walked into the Safa Toma Speedway like you owned the place. The glare and saunter were natural to him, but for you, well, it was less so. Crosshair rolled his eyes.

“Could you look any more phony? I asked you not to stand out. Your glare looks like you’re going to combust. Literally screaming “ask me, I have a secret”. Just relax and think about the time Wrecker spilled spaghetti sauce all over that white uniform of yours right before the decoration ceremony, and you had to wear that ridiculous looking jacket that didn’t match your pants in front of the entire assembly.”

You scowled at the memory and your face heated producing a fine, red blush. You’d had to wear your oil stained brown pants from helping Tech upgrade the Marauder with a spare gray uniform jacket. They didn’t match in the slightest, but were the only things you had in the closet as your spare uniform was dry-cleaning after your latest mission. You were the only one out of the ten receiving metals to look that ridiculous. Wrecker apologized profusely and Tech assured you no one seemed to notice. Maybe he hadn’t, but others certainly did. You were completely and utterly humiliated.

“Precisely, look annoyed and follow my lead. You’ll be fine. Try crossing your arms. Usually does something for me.”

You huffed a laugh and the corners of your mouth turned up.

“Wipe that smile off your face.”

“Why? Can’t smiles be just as menacing?”

“Not yours. Yours are always too sweet.”

You had to figure out if that was a compliment or an insult or both.

“Ooookaaaayyyy.”

“Am I detecting a high level of sass?”

You tried hard not to smile, but a chuckle came out anyway.

“And they say I’m the difficult one.” Crosshair rolled his eyes. “Just don’t say anything. And try not to look like a lost puppy.”

You arrived at the apartment said to be Millegi’s, the sponsor for the racer named Venim, to test your theory about his association with ‘Cid’. Considering he responded with your cryptic message by saying he’d meet you. You were pretty sure you were correct.

Upon entering the finley furnished apartment, you saw Millegi sat reclined on his sofa, a hint of malicious humor on his face. He cut right to business just as you suspected.

“I hear you’re looking for Cid. What do you want with her?”

Crosshair put on his coldest face and crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s say I have unfinished business with her, and I hear you know how to find her.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I know powerful people, and trust me, I’ll make sure you disappear so fast, you’d wish I’d gifted you with death.”

And that’s how you found yourselves sitting in Cid’s bar. Waiting. Forever. Waiting for the runaways to return home. The longer you waited the more you wished you hadn't come. You didn’t know if dreaming about this moment and wishing so hard it hurt was better than the actual waiting because right here, right now, reality was happening. In your dreams you’d run to Tech and he’d wrap his arms around you and everything would be happy and fine. You could control the outcome. Everything would turn out how you planned no matter the scenario.

This was the unknown. You didn’t know what would happen. And to top it off, what would happen, would be final. No more alternate scenarios. No more differing factors. You didn’t know if Tech would even be happy to see you. What if he didn’t even remember you?!? Despite Crosshair’s assurances and annoyance at something that should be obvious (which was honestly more comforting than the assurances) the familiar anxiety bubbled in your stomach and you felt the bile rise in your throat. Unconsciously, your knee started bouncing against the chair.

“Hunter’ll hear that all the way from the space port.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“This isn’t exactly an easy moment for me, either.”

Your knee stopped bouncing and regret seeped into your bones.

“I’m so sorry, Crosshair. I haven’t been considerate. I’ve been so focused on myself and my problems…” You sighed and looked down. “I’ve done so much wrong.” You ran your fingers through your hair, trying not to disturb the cloak too much. “I can’t even seem to do right by my friends. You deserved so much more consideration. Your step took more courage than mine; and I haven’t expressed enough how grateful I am that you came with me.”

“You’ve expressed it almost every day since we left.”

You shrugged. “I am grateful. I just want all of us together again, the way it should be. But this waiting is unbearable. Not knowing how they’ll accept us is the worst part. I mean, you’re they’re brother. You’re more likely to be wanted than me.”

“Don’t count on it after our last meeting. Not to mention what I’ve done since.”

“Crosshair—” You’d been over this so many times with him. Thinking of different ways to defend him but he was obstinate in his self-loathing.

“Save it.”

Crosshair glared but the ice melted when he saw the hurt in your eyes. He sent an apology look, not able to find the words he wanted to say, and not even knowing exactly what to say. But spending weeks with Crosshair on the run, you’d learn how to communicate with him this way. You felt you knew him on a whole new level and could talk without words.

You wished you could still say the same about Tech.

Then a noise caught your attention. The three patrons who’d been second-handedly annoying the both of you for the past few hours excitedly welcomed someone.

“Well look who’s back!” the one you ascertained was Bolo, said.

“Hey, when are we getting another dejarik game! It’s been pretty boring without you.” the one named Ketch added.

The female pirate by the identity of ‘Phee’ spoke next. You’d been listening to her stories and they seemed too fantastical to be true, but they were entertaining to listen to while you waited. You thought Crosshair’s eyes would get stuck behind his skull with how often he rolled his eyes while she spoke, claiming he had better ‘real’ stories. But he must have enjoyed them enough because he kept listening and making off-handed comments.

“Well look who it is, if it isn’t my favorite group of clones.”

You peaked in the direction to see the Bad Batch file in and try to scoot past the overly excited, ‘bored’ patrons. Probably to talk to Cid if they had just gotten done with a job.

“Limping again, Brown eyes? You really ought to be more careful.” Phee put her hand on Tech’s shoulder and you almost lurched at the hint of softness in her voice. He had found someone after all. In the corner of your eye, you saw Crosshair give you a sympathetic look but you refused to meet his gaze.

“Maybe this was a dumb idea.”

“No.” Crosshair said sternly. You looked up to meet his eyes and saw a kind earnestness in them. “No it wasn’t. No matter how this ends, what they say, we’re out of the Empire and that’s all that counts. I have you to thank for that.”

You smiled faintly. “We could always trek out on our own. I have the brains and you have…well everything else.”

Crosshair chuckled. “Let’s say we get this over with.”

You could only let out a breathy “Okay.”

You were aware of a hush that came over the boisterous group.

“Who are those two?” You heard Hunter stage whisper. You didn’t have to look over your shoulder to know he’d crossed his arms and was staring at the two of you.

“Dunno, they’ve been sitting there since before we came in. Long time.” Ketch said.

“Hm.”

You could bet they were sharing concerned looks among each other, trying to decide what to do. Your breathing quickened.

You heard Crosshair’s chair turn. “No one important. Just your brother and your friend.”

Okay, Crosshair, maybe not the best intro.

You stayed glued in place, not wanting to face them.

“Crosshair?” You couldn’t tell which of the brothers said that. All the world started to turn before your eyes. The blood rushed to your ears and you completely missed the exchange happening between the torn Batch. The loud fuzziness overtook all that was happening around you. You were only focused on the void, empty feeling.

Tech has someone.

“Glad you’re back, brother.” broke through the haze along with the clanking of armor. You could only guess that meant they embraced.

They wanted Crosshair back. That’s good. Maybe I should just leave quietly…

Maybe you didn’t have a place with them anymore but you did return their prodigal brother to them and that was reward enough.

Then you heard teary laughing and other clanky embraces. You heard an excited little girl squish her face into her brother’s chest or shoulder (depending on whether or not Crosshair knelt for her or not) and cry happily.

This was your chance. You moved swiftly and silently like Crosshair had shown you over the last few weeks and made your way toward the back exit. The shadows of the backroom covered you and you took one last glance where the light poured in. You saw happy faces of a reunited family. Laughing and jesting and happy, relieved tears were poured out. Just the way they should be; you felt a smile growing on your face. Yes, all was well.

You turned to leave with that last happy memory.

You made your way out the back door and out the alley toward the front entrance and slowly started to make your way to a spaceport to book a passage with the fake ID you made. You had a few credits left. You could get by on them until you thought of what to do next.

The day was ending and the world was alive. The day-timers were heading home from work and the night-shifters were getting up and going to their posts…or bars. Wherever they kept vigil. That wasn’t for you to know or care. The sun was setting and giving off the most beautiful orange…

You heard your name and you turned around surprised. You knew who the voice belonged to and a part of you wondered if you were dreaming. There would be no way Tech was actually chasing you, could there be?

You saw him bobbing in the crowd, looking about frantically. You’ve never seen him so scattered. He called your name again, louder, more frantic. If you had half a brain left, you would have answered. But you were tired, numb, and heartbroken. Your feet hurt and you didn’t know if you could face him. Instead of leaving quietly or approaching him, you stood there with your mouth agape, watching as if this were a holofilm and you were not the main character on the screen. You couldn’t be the main character. You’d plain forgotten your lines.

Your feet decided to move without your brain’s permission. You didn’t know if you were going to go toward Tech or turn away, and you never found out because in that moment, Tech spotted you and your eyes locked. He smiled a full smile and pushed through the moving masses toward you and was by your side in an instant.

“Mesh’la, you’re here! You’re here!” Tech excitedly said. There was a dancing fire in his eyes and a laugh on his lips. “I can’t believe my calculations, you’re here!” Before another moment passed, you were wrapped in a hug. His arms came around you and brought you close to his chest. He lowered his head so it was resting on yours, then stayed silent for so long it started to worry you. Tech was never silent.

“Tech.” Your voice cracked from how dry it was.

He parted and cupped your face.

“Mesh’la.”

You felt your whole face on fire and you couldn’t look Tech in the eye. Your ears were pink to the tips. You knew what that word meant. He couldn’t possibly mean it. Did Crosshair put him up to this?

“What?” Tech looked taken aback and slightly hurt.

Woops, must have said that part out loud.

You cleared your throat. “Did Crosshair…I mean…” tears filled your eyes and you sighed. You tried to look anywhere but him but his hand, though gentle, was firm and held your head in place. Besides, you were loath to lose the contact just yet. “Crosshair knew…so I was wondering if he sent you…told you to…”

“Crosshair knew what? Told me to?” He repeated.

You took in a deep breath and held it. You’d say it fast.

“Crosshair knew that I loved you and was searching for you forever and when I saw you racing I knew I could find you and really wanted to find you so I decided to trust him to see if he wanted to come and we left the Empire together to find you. You’re a good racer, that was good racing.” You let out the rest of the air in a heavy sigh. One breath.

Tech smiled. “You were searching for me?”

You tried to look at your shoes. “Yes.” Your voice was so small but that was all you had left.

“You love me?”

“Yes!” That was a little more vehement and you rolled your eyes. You had a transport to catch. If he didn’t mind, you really had to get going. “It KILLED me when I thought you were dead. I didn’t know…”

He leaned in closer to your ear.

“I love you too.”

You let out a sob and pressed your face into his chest. Your heart felt like it exploded and adrenaline rushed through your veins and you started to feel dizzy. Your muscles relaxed and the tired, achiness returned, reminding you you needed to rest. Tech felt the extra weight and shifted to support you. But your happiness was replaced with confusion.

“But…your girlfriend? How can you love me if you have a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Tech sounded so surprised you had to look him in the face. His eyebrow was up in a quizzical form. The one he always made when he was drawing a blank. You loved this expression because it was so rare, and he could never replicate it when he tried at your request. It was a look of complete honesty. You almost laughed at the hope your heart started to thud to.

“Phee, the pirate woman…”

“She is most definitely not my girlfriend. Did she say she was? Or did you draw that conclusion from her rather flirtatious greeting?”

“Maybe I did have incomplete data.”

“Did you notice I did not address the flirtations?”

“No…my mind was too busy reeling.”

Tech smiled again, but this time mischievously.

“What if I give you a better subject for you to meditate on?”

He leaned in and kissed you. Softly and perfectly. You broke it first.

“We’ll have to continue later.” You chuckled, “I can’t stop smiling.” You rested your head against his chest and heaved a relieved sigh.

“I agree, we shall have to continue this exercise later.”

You laughed and started back toward the bar. Tech limped after you and your smile turned upside down. You hadn't noticed before. He moved with such urgency and swiftness. It had to hurt.

“You’re limping.”

“Yes, I had a misfortunate accident on the last mission.” He shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

“No it’s not. Let me have a look.” You returned to his side and brought Tech’s arm around your neck so he could lean on you for support. “Where’s your ship? Do you have any ice for me to help bring down the swelling, or should I run back to Cid’s real quick to get the ice then bring you to the ship or…”

You were cut off by Tech’s chuckle. “We have the necessary supplies on the ship. That way.” He nudged his head in the right direction, but his gaze remained on you. It sparkled with all the love and adoration you never thought you’d see aimed toward yourself from the goggled eyes. Your heart swelled and your lips radiated that happiness with the biggest smile you’ve ever made. You were where you were meant to be. You were home at last.

Dividers by @djarrex and @ve-ti-ver

#the bad batch #tbb hunter #star wars #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb omega #star wars the bad batch #tech x reader #tech #tech x you #tech and reader #tech x female reader #tbb tech x reader

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lovecanyon · 1 year

Text

EXES TO LOVERS INSTAGRAM BLURB

harry styles x reader

MASTERLIST | PATREON

liked by kidharpoon, annetwist and 4,903,146 others

yourinstagram MYYY ALBUM IS OFFICIALLY OUT NOW!!! WHAT A YEAR ❤️

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ynfan8 i just fell on my knees

harryfan10 SHE IS SO MOTHER

harrystyles Such a brilliant album, I love it. Congratulations.

yourinstagram ❤️

ynfan5 WHAT IS HARRY DOING HERE 😭

harryfan7 harry being a supportive ex…we love to see it!!

alexachung literally album of the year

ynfan4 y/n came to us when we needed her the most 🧎‍♀️

adele streaming as we speak 💖

harryfan6 harry commenting…he’s so messy omg

gemmastyles i swear you are too talented y/nnnn!

yourinstagram love and miss you gem

ynfan3 UMMMM

liked by harryfan11, ynfan13 and 202,815 others

enews Harry Styles congratulated ex Y/N L/N on her new album recently. The two began to trend on social media leading fans to believe that they could get back together. Both singers refused to confirm nor comment on this situation.

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harryfan17 leave my parents alone!

ynfan14 can’t harry congratulate y/n in peace 🫣

harryfan19 right, nonetheless they are still friends……

ynfan12 harry’s house being about y/n…my 21st century blues being about harry 🤯

harryfan15 i’m sorry but they were such a hot couple

ynfan18 predicting exes to lovers…

harryfan20 can you guys just let them live in peace, they literally just broke up last year

ynfan22 something is screaming inside of me

harryfan16 HARRY HAS ALWAYS SUPPORTED HIS EXES

ynfan25 the earth is finally healing

harryfan21 anyways stream escapism!!!

ynfan23 don’t let me get me hopes up 🫠

liked by harrystyles, columbiarecords and 308,511 others

kidharpoon My 21st Century Blues, one of my favorite albums I produced.

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harryfan24 I AM GOING INSANE

ynfan26 isn’t this harry’s producer too 😭

yourinstagram love ya kid!

|| kidharpoon ❤️❤️

harryfan28 i’m for sure not sleeping tonight

mitchrowland honestly the best album yet

ynfan27 Y/N DESERVES A GRAMMY FOR CREATING THIS ALBUM

jefezoff two talented people

harryfan30 i am so in love with her

pillowpersonpp congratulations, so happy for you both!

ynfan29 this album doesn't have one skip on it 😩

harrystyles Beauty and talent.

harryfan31 I AM SCREAMING…WHAT

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 772,300 others

columbiarecords Y/N L/N’s album “My 21st Century Blues” rises on the Billboard Hot 100 this week.

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ynfan32 I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

harryfan36 y/n supremacy 😌

yourinstagram i’m not crying

ynfan38 she deserves this so much omg 😭

kidharpoon this really is the best year ever and it’s barely february!!

harryfan33 i love this for y/n

gemmastyles so proud and happy ❤️

ynfan35 ALBUM OF THE YEAR. ALBUM OF THE YEAR. ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

arianagrande her album has me in a chokehold…

harryfan39 y/n needs every award there is for making this album

paulithepsm why is this the best news ever!?!?

ynfan34 all i can say is this was so deserved

liked by harryfan40, ynfan43 and 183,709 others

harryflorals HARRY ON THE BRITS RED CARPET!

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harryfan41 i am now officially dead

ynfan45 HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

harryfan46 harry’s back has to hurt from constantly carrying the best dressed title 😌

ynfan48 arrived to sweep the brits

harryfan42 first the grammys and now this…

ynfan44 harry can run me over, stomp on me..and i wouldn’t care

harryfan47 on my hands and knees

ynfan49 i mean who wouldn’t write an album about harry…

harryfan51 HE KEEPS ON SLAYING

ynfan53 committing arson

harryfan55 i want to be his housewife 🫣

liked by harrystyles, jefezoff and 984,527 others

gemmastyles Gals at the Brits

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ynfan50 Y/N IS THERE???

harryfan54 omg our parents are being reunited tonight, nobody talk to me

yourinstagram i missed you gem

gemmastyles well i missed you more sweetheart ❤️❤️

ynfan58 omg i’m sobbing

pillowpersonpp having the best time!!!

harryfan60 Y/N AND HARRY ARE SITTING AT THE SAME TABLE…SHUT UP

anthonypham one of the best brits so far

ynfan56 stop this or i will jump into conclusions 😭

kidharpoon love spending time with family!

harryfan59 I LOVE IT HERE

liked by ynfan61, harryfan64 and 361,479 others

ynupdates Y/N GAVE A SURPRISE PERFORMANCE AT THE BRITS TONIGHT

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ynfan63 her outfit is giving harry 😩

harryfan69 BEST PERFORMANCE AT THE BRITS…SORRY NOT SORRY

ynfan65 ate up harry and left no crumbs behind…

harryfan62 you can just tell y/n just borrowed an outfit from harry’s closet

ynfan66 she’s going to make me go insane

harryfan68 OBSESSED WITH HER

ynfan70 y/n is so talented

harryfan67 harry was dancing during her performance too 🫠

ynfan72 the best surprise ever

harryfan74 the way y/n’s outfit was designed by harry lambert 😭 it’s so obvious

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 513,470 others

harry_lambert Brits 2023!

Wearing @ ninaricci 💕

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ynfan71 THE MOST GORGEOUS GIRL IN THE WORLD

harryfan73 i am going crazy over her

harrystyles My beautiful angel.

ynfan75 parenthesis on “my” 🫠

harryfan78 BOOM. CRASH. SLAM.

gemmastyles y/n is so perfect!!

ynfan76 2023 has been the best year for harry and y/n fans 😌

_basselin i couldn’t stop looking at her last night

pillowpersonpp i thought i was the only one…

harryfan79 PLEASE I LOVE THEM

emmalouisecorrin drop dead gorgeous!!!

ynfan80 harry’s comment has me shaking 😭

liked by harryfan84, ynfan86 and 238,311 others

thesun Y/N L/N and Harry Styles both attended a Brits after party last night in London and even left together in the same vehicle.

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harryfan81 UMMM WHAT

ynfan85 i actually manifested this!

harryfan88 sleeping on the highway tonight 🧎‍♀️

ynfan82 well we all knew this was coming

harryfan89 right when harry commented on y/n’s post…i knew something was going to happen 😭

ynfan83 mother and father 🙏

harryfan88 kid harpoon most definitely got them back together

ynfan87 why has this been the best year yet

harryfan90 can they just get married already?

ynfan92 y/n and harry need to pull a sarah and mitch…and get married secretly

liked by harrystyles, jefezoff and 4,120,385 others

yourinstagram my album has only been out for three weeks and already i’ve received so much love! this is such an overwhelming feeling, i love you all ❤️❤️

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harryfan91 OMG SHE DESERVES EVERYTHING

ynfan93 why do i feel like a proud mother

harrystyles Baby, I love you so much!

yourinstagram i love you garry

harryfan95 NOT GARRY 😭

ynfan97 did this just confirm that they got back together…

kidharpoon you, garry and i make such a good team

harryfan94 i love y/n so much 🥹

annetwist congratulations on your new achievements darling!!

ynfan96 i’m crying with her

colombiarecords our queen 💕

liked by yourinstagram, gemmastyles and 6,830,174 others

harrystyles Morning after The Brits and I couldn’t be happier.

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harryfan102 this left me speechless

ynfan105 I WANT TO BE HARRY SO BAD 😭

yourinstagram I love you my sweet boy.

harrystyles And your sweet boy loves you.

harryfan108 this has me in shambles 💔

ynfan104 “sweet boy” can someone please run me over

emmalouisecorrin a goddess!!!

harryfan101 after seeing this…i don’t even want harry anymore…i want y/n

harry_lambert this just blew me away

ynfan109 HARRY IS SO INSANE FOR THIS

jefezoff love you two lovebirds 💖

harryfan106 y/n is the only woman ever!

tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @seguin-styles1996 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @kaitieskidmore1 @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia @b-reads-things

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #boyfriend!harry #harry styles fake social media #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfic rec #harry styles writing

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taterdraws · 2 months

Note

I had a vivid dream yesterday and my mind made me a fake ‘Hazbin Hotel’ Season 2 which I was disappointed to find wasn’t real. Basically it turned out Alastor had technically been a fraud: you know when Mimzy talked about how shortly after when he first came to Hell, and would be dismissed by others, overlords started going missing, no one knew what had happened to them, and then Alastor started sending out his radio signals filled with screams before revealing himself as the Radio Demon, whom no one would mess with? My dream saw overlords start to go missing again in the present, being the new big mystery to replace the dead angel, and for it to turn out Alastor didn’t actually kill those overlords the first time, he had just taken the credit, along that philosophy Zestial went by, “Why not let your strength be known?”. So Alastor had figured whoever it was who was killing overlords didn’t want it to be known they were doing so, and so took the credit to gain himself a rep faster, slowly building up some real power using this rep, in spite of no real power himself beyond that of any sinner. It also turned out Husk had actually been more powerful than Alastor when he beat him in cards, being the first powerful soul Alastor really got under his sway, the reason he didn’t kill him being that he couldn’t, but didn’t want that to be known. Also being why Alastor turned down joining Vox and the Vees. Leading to Alastor then making his deal, with the true force behind those overlords going missing: Eve, the first woman. And the moment he made this deal, Lilith felt it, and fled to Heaven. To say Alastor and she never met, but once Lilith felt what had happened, she knew she had to get out of Heaven lest her existence finally be ended. As for how Eve had any power at all: you know how during the storybook montage in the first episode, there was this shot where when they showed Heaven and the biblically accurate angels in the background, to the right there was this black glob with red eyes and a smile, and on the left there was this light glob with a closed eyelash? And how at that moment Charlie was talking about good and evil? Well in my dream season it was revealed that those two globs were literally Good and Evil, who in ‘Hazbin Hotel’ were actual characters, and that Good inhabited the form of God, to say his name was literally just ‘Good’, who kept Evil at bay, until Lilith made that apple of free will and gave it to Eve, infecting her with Evil the force, and making her its avatar. With the real reason for the Exterminations then being to prevent her from attaining enough power for Evil to engulf creation, and destroy Heaven, Hell, Earth, and all of creation, Lilith remaining Eve’s jailer, before leaving Hell to fend for itself on Eve managing to get herself a representative. All Alastor would have wanted would have been to actually have the power he claimed was his (hers), and so that would have been why he sold his soul, was so confident all season: before he had merely the illusion of power, and now he had it, or at least a taster. Only then he went up against Adam with the power of Eve, and lost, which he didn’t expect to: my dream season basically said that Adam was one of the only ones able to stand up to evil’s power, since in the world of ‘Hazbin’, he never ate of the apple (a departure from biblical canon). The reason his personality was like that was that Adam literally did/could not, know the difference between right and wrong, and so in spite of his speech was in the eyes of creation an innocent soul. A sword of good (God) smiting evil (Eve). So since Niffty took him out, the only ones able to ever defeat Eve would be Lilith or Charlie, Lilith terrified of what she unwittingly created, so refusing, leaving Charlie. My dream also saw Eve kill Vox, and then Valentino and Velvette had this mournful ballad that you’d swear you would feel sorry for them. Plus since she was the source of all evil, my dream saw a lot of Val apologists come out of watching, arguing away everything he did as a result of her influence.

bro your brain comes up with more elaborate shit asleep than mine does awake

#i am no joke impressed #i also want to very badly hear the valentino and velvette ballad please god please

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lgwifey · 8 months

Text

PERKS OF THE JOB

Elijah hewson x fem!reader

Summary : an interview leads to a phone call… and maybe more ? (I’m really bad at writing summary’s)

warnings : none ?

MASTERLIST

“I don’t think-”

“That’s correct y/n, you don’t think. I think and you interview.”

She blinked for a second as the middle aged man carried on walking ahead, looking down at her clipboard and letting her features drop as she looked back over the questions she’d been given to ask.

“Y/n ?”

The snap off her boss caused her to hurry up, trying to navigate the loose floor of the muddy festival in the heeled black knee high boots she’d been ordered to wear by the company’s stylist.

When she finally reached the cameras, without falling over somehow, she was created by the four musicians and her boss’s agitated expression.

“Guys, this is y/n. She’ll be the one interviewing you today. So the interview is for YouTube but it’s going to be published on a range of our socials.”

Y/n patted down her skirt before shaking everyone’s hands, leaving her clipboard on her chair for later on.

“Well I’ll leave you lot to get to know each other, if anyone needs me I’ll be at stage two with Alisha.”

Y/n gave a nod, allowing the older man to walk away whilst clocking the mocking face two of the camera operators where giving. She struggled to not laugh, a small smile on her face as she turned to the band.

“Hiya, so as Harry said I’m y/n, before we even turn the cameras on I’d just like to apologise for some of these questions, I literally begged him to change them but he’s refusing and I’d like to keep my job so if there’s anything you’d like for me to bring up in the interview please let me know so I can say I just swapped a few over for ones you all preferred. ”

Ryan gave a laugh, the other three following behind soon.

“What kind of questions are they if you’re apologising for them ?”

“Well let’s just say, from this sheet it looks like I’m interviewing U2. No offence Elijah but I usually like to make sure that the questions are targeted to each band member rather than just focusing on one.”

The brunette gave a laugh, sitting down on one of the seats like he’d been directed to do by another equipment operator.

“No offence taken.”

Y/n forced the blush off her face before sitting down as well, adjusting the pathetic excuse of s skirt that the wardrobes had gave her. Whoever designed this outfit had clearly never been to a festival.

The office buildings where dull, just like the basic black suits that all the male staff wore.

Y/n poured out the boiled water into the two mugs whilst Alisha carried on with her latest story on her latest obsession.

“Wait do you think I can get Harry to pay for my Rolling Stones tickets. I mean it is for work.”

She handed the light blue mug over to the excitable girl before nodding her head,

“I mean I did with my Leeds tickets, but I was interviewing people after . I’d still ask, worst he can say is no.”

“True, we’re too good at our jobs for him to even threaten to sack us girly.”

She blew a kiss before leaving to her office, the glamorous ‘periwinkle blue’ suit she’d recently bought. The other interviewer remained in the office kitchen, holding the hot cup in her hands to try and warm them up before she went back to typing up a manuscript to go alongside her last interview with an upcoming band.

When she finally worked up the willpower to go back to the typing, one of the new interns ran up to her with a mix of worry and confusion on his face.

“Urm, y/n ?”

She looked over from her laptop with a smile.

“Hiya Louis, what’s up ?”

“There’s someone asking for you on the phone, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”

“Oh yeah, did you take their name?”

Worry spread on his face before he shook his head.

“Ok, just put them through to my line.”

He gave a blink.

“Line 4?”

Another blink.

“Im avoiding this manuscript anyways, I’ll just come to the front desk Louis.”

It was almost as if he let out a held breath before she swizzled around all her half-projects and let him lead her to the phone that was being held. He left her to answer, moving the phone to the end of the desk so he could carry on with any clients waiting for the desk.

“Y/n Y/l/n, how can I help?”

“Hiya y/n, we just wanted to call and let you know we think you did an amazing job with that interview-”

Her eyes widened as towards the end of the sentence the strong Irish accent was pulled away and a crash echoed through the phone.

“Sorry about him, we don’t let him speak to the outside world for a reason. This is Eli by the way, in case you didn’t know.”

A faint “that hurt” could be heard from the other side and her lips curled up into a small smile.

“No it’s fine, I’m glad you liked the interview.”

“Yeah it was probably one of the best we’ve been in. I just wanted to check that you hadn’t been killed by your boss for changing those questions for us, but I couldn’t find a contact for you anywhere.”

“Oh yeah don’t worry about it, he was slightly annoyed but like Alisha says, we’re too good at our jobs for him to even threaten.”

He laughed slightly, Louis giving Y/n a confused look when he noticed her twirling the end of her hair with her finger.

“Good to know,”

He paused for a second, y/n unsure if she was supposed to speak again only for him to appear a moment later,

“Look I was wondering if there was any way I could contact you in the future, you know because we loved you interviewing us.”

“Are you asking for my number Mr Hewson ?”

The other side went quiet and y/n had to force herself to not laugh when all she could hear on the line was “mate you’re so bad at this.”

“Urm yeah? But in a professional context ?”

“Of course, of course. Don’t worry I’ll dm it to you on insta, it’ll be easier than trying to say it and messing up a million times.”

“Oh yeah, makes sense.”

“Okay, goodbye Eli.”

“Urm yeah, bye.”

“Let Robert know I said hi.”

The line cut just after she heard something being thrown.

Sometimes the job had its perks.

#inhaler #inhaler x reader #inhaler x fem!reader #Elijah hewson #Elijah hewson x reader #Elijah hewson x fem!reader #musicians x reader #interview fanfic

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actual-changeling · 7 months

Text

Crowley, Aziraphale, and the art of boundaries.

Look. They love and care about each other, but they are also the only two celestial beings on earth and thus each other's only option when it comes to friendship and relationships. Humans die very quickly by their standards, and if they do not want to be alone for six millennia, well, they only have one person to ask for company.

From the get-go, this dynamic is everything but ideal. It automatically creates a certain emotional dependence since you go to one person with all your emotional and social needs, and no matter how much you love someone, you cannot fulfil all their needs - and you shouldn't have to try!

They are individuals and have their own life separate from the other for the first couple centuries, but after Job at the latest, their lives become incredibly intertwined. When they agree on the arrangement, they only deepen that dependence, and now they have the additional pressure of needing to keep the other safe from both sides.

Crowley quite literally orbits Aziraphale, all the while trying to help him realize that heaven is using him and not what he thinks it is, yet he knows if he pushes too much, he will not just be alone but lonely.

Aziraphale is a stable centre of gravity for Crowley and himself, but he takes Crowley's presence and their push-pull dynamic for granted. He does not want to be lonely either, but he is so good at creating an internal system of cognitive dissonance and compartmentalization that he can hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. This leads to him refusing to listen to Crowley on any matters related to their respective sides or morality, while also believing that Crowley is fundamentally good and should not have been cast out.

Crowley pushes, Aziraphale steps back, Crowley pushes some more until Aziraphale either finds some twisted internal logic that allows him to do the thing or he lets out his frustration of not being able to do the thing on Crowley, blaming it all on him "tempting" Aziraphale into it in the first place.

This game works when the subject does not matter too much, when it's about food or drinking together or small favours as part of the arrangement. It's not super healthy, but largely without consequence when it is mostly playful.

However, and here is the "but", it stops working when the subject IS important.

When it is about their safety, about humanity's or a few specific human's safety, when it's such an important topic that the outcome will affect both their lives forever - like the apocalypse or Jimbriel.

Crowley wants to keep Aziraphale out of harm's way first and foremost, and for that he needs to be helping him with whatever is threatening him. The problem is that whenever he disagrees with Aziraphale, the angel turns into a five-year-old and starts either manipulating Crowley into agreeing with him or goes off to sulk.

Crowley cannot risk that, not when it's important. So what does he do? The only thing he CAN do, which is ignore his boundaries, ignore his ideals and wants and needs, and do what Aziraphale wants.

Over and over and over and over again.

Aziraphale does not care about that. He does not care about what Crowley wants or doesn't want when he thinks that HIS wants are the correct and more important ones.

The most obvious proof for that is Aziraphale calling Crowley kind/nice.

"Don't call me that," is what Crowley has been telling him LITERALLY since fucking Eden. A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing. Aziraphale knows hell punishes him for good deeds, but does that stop him? NO.

"Don't call me that," he says, every. single. time.

And every single time, Aziraphale decides that no, he wants to tell him that so he will, fuck what Crowley wants, my desire is more important.

Fuck that he hates to hear about forgiveness, I want to tell him that sentence so I will.

Fuck that he told me over and over that he hates being compared to the angel he was, I will keep doing it because I want to; I will keep bringing up the fact that he is an evil, bad demon and I am a pure, good, kindhearted angel.

Fuck that Crowley has never lied to me once, I want to lie to him, to his face, so I will.

Fuck our friendship, I will say disgusting, vile, and hurtful things to his face and then never apologize; instead I will wait for him to crawl back to me and say sorry because he always does.

Fuck the fact that I am the one who screwed up, I will pressure Crowley into doing the apology dance because I cannot admit that I'm wrong, fuck what he thinks.

Fuck that he told me he doesn't want to let me drive the Bentley, I will pressure and manipulate him until he gives me the keys and then change the car without permission and then throw a pity party when he asks me to change it back.

Fuck that Crowley is terrified of Gabriel, memory loss or not, I will make fun of his concern and then force him to babysit him.

Fuck Crowley's idea for getting Nina and Maggie together, I will ignore him and instead force a bunch of humans into a non-consensual roleplay because I say so.

Fuck whatever Crowley suggests, I want to do it my way and I expect him to follow me without question.

Fuck that Crowley wants to tell me something important and asked me to listen, I will ignore every single verbal and non verbal sign of discomfort and make decisions for him without asking what HE wants.

Fuck Crowley - unless he does what I want.

I do not believe that Aziraphale does it out of malice, a lot of it is a trauma response, but he still CHOOSES to do it. He still CHOOSES to behave that way, to treat Crowley like that, and unless he starts holding himself accountable, they will not get anywhere, love or no love.

Crowley's choices are either going along with Aziraphale and ignoring his boundaries, or being alone on earth for the rest of his infinite existence. Those are his choices, and the second one isn't really a choice, is it? It's fucked up and horrible, so yeah, going along with him is the only thing he can realistically do.

So, no. I do not want Crowley to take him back. For the first time in their existence, Crowley has set a boundary, put himself first, and refuses to cross it for anyone, including Aziraphale. He had the RIGHT to do that. It was this or being destroyed by heaven. Those were his options, and he chose what he wants, what he needs - not what Aziraphale wants, who is still not fucking listening to him.

What I want is for Aziraphale to realize how horribly he has been treating Crowley for centuries, apologize, and then shut up. What I want is for Crowley to learn that his wants and needs are important, that he is allowed to put himself first, and that allowing Aziraphale to walk all over him has damaged their relationship, not improved it. That he CAN expect Aziraphale to respect him, and if he doesn't, then it is his right to not want to be around him.

I want Aziraphale to get out of heaven's claws and start recovering, and I want Crowley to keep recovering.

I want both of them to get to a point where they can have a healthy relationship with boundaries and mutual respect; it is not a fairy tale ending, and I don't want it to be one.

Love is not enough. Love is never enough.

I want them to be happy, healthy, and together, and to get there, they both need to grow separately for a while. They're both complex, deeply flawed characters, neither of them is good or evil, and that's the point.

That has always been the point.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable divorce #good omens meta

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