#I think it was 3 months but it felt a lot longer. my god middle school was the school to prison pipeline at its finest

[theriverdalereviewer]

just remembered how in the sixth grade there was a fucking riot in the cafeteria that ended in the entire grade getting silent lunch for like 3 months

#I think it was 3 months but it felt a lot longer. my god middle school was the school to prison pipeline at its finest #on one hand I think its unfair that we were all punished but to be fair the entire grade participated in this riot. I don't even remember #what we were rioting? I just remember a girl named whitney was involved and 1 thing led to another and whitney ran out of the cafeteria #and THE ENTIRE GRADE WENT AFTER HER 😭. myself included I didn’t even know why either but WE WERE AFTER THAT BITCH 😭 #it was so bad I remember everyone was heading one direction and then everyone started running back the other direction. #and I got knocked down in the process looking back this was really dangerous. but after that we got silent lunch for what felt like forever #like not only were we forced to sit with our homerooms (and some us didn’t even like our homeroom) but we couldn’t even talk to each other #which is honestly not good for socialization?? but again I can’t entirely blame them cause the situation was out of control. #but also shouldn’t the adults have had that thing under control??? anyways the person who ran silent lunch was the vice tyrant dr levine #he fucking hated us like that man was PISSED OFF and he made it clear cause if you made a sound during silent lunch #that man was gonna threaten you with detention extended detention ISS (aka in school suspension) #he didn’t even mean it but it was pretty good for instilling fear in us good kids. but one time I remember there was a kid who didn’t buy i #he didn’t give into levine’s fear tactic and levine started yelling “ISS!! OSS!! EXPULSION!!!!!” like calm down #I feel bad thinking about how so many kids who would ACCIDENTALLY make a sound were punished. and they were so damn terrified #cause it was like you were on your best behavior all of the time and then one noise and suddenly you had an out of school suspension #one time a boy named jc’s phone went off and he picked it up and it was his grandma asking him if he wanted ice cream 😭 no fucks given #and levine was screaming at him to hang up the phone and jc was like “this is my grandmother I can’t hang up" #and there came a time where we were finally off the hook and I just remember people in the cafeteria were clapping 😭 #like this was school sanctioned oppression and we were finally liberated... but then we were back to silent lunch and I don’t even know why #I remember once even I ended up in Levine’s office but I dont think its cause I was talking during silent lunch?? #I think it had something to do with bullying idk?? I just remember levine had my back during it and made the other kid cry and apologize #so shout out to levine. always good times goodbye!

[yunhoszn]

save a horse, ride a cowboy

PAIRING jeong yunho x f!reader

WORD COUNT 12.25k

GENRES fluff﹒angst﹒smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, reader is a city girl but i tried not using too many gendered terms, cowboy!yunho RAHHHHH, mentions of food, reader has a boyfriend for most of the fic (an oc) but there’s no real infidelity, reader embarrasses themselves on what i’d say is a few occasions too many, yunho is down bad, masturbation (m! and brief f! receiving), lowkey voyeurism, a really bad dad joke, horse riding scene bc i feel that’s pivotal for a cowboy fic, lots and lots of kissing, marking, teasing, vaginal fingering x2, oral sex (f! receiving) x2, multiple orgasms, very slight edging, praise, pet names (baby, babe, and princess oops), unprotected sex (BE SAFE PLS I BEG), cowgirl position, pull out method, missionary position, creampie lol, ending is cute but also kinda up for interpretation? i guess <3

SUMMARY when your grandparents decided to retire and take a summer’s long vacation in celebration, they leave their house in your care. at least you don’t have to worry about feeding the farm animals. but you do have to worry about the tall, handsome cowboy who does.

MORE AND SHE’S DONE oh my god, this fic actually pulled so much out of me i think i was the one seeing stars by the end.. 😭 but i’m so proud of it and the goals i tried meeting while writing. first of all the length??? insane for me. i can hardly get myself to write anything longer thank 5k 😞 THATS ENOUGH ABOUT ME THO,,, this fic was heavily inspired by the django performance if u couldn’t tell by the banner 😝 and i’d first like to thank the academy aka @kimsohn for encouraging me to write this and fueling my delusions ilysm maya <3 i’d also like to give a huge thank u to @bro-atz TYSM FOR BETAING AND HELPING WITH SCENES BRO ur my life saver fr <3 PLS PLS PLS REBLOG IF U ENJOYED!!

Growing up, you weren’t the biggest fan of trips to your grandparents’ farm in the rural countryside. 

You were born in a big city, full of all the glitz and glam. There were bright lights that lit the skyline at night, distracting from the stars that illuminated above. The wide open space was blocked by high towers and large skyscrapers. You were accustomed to the sound of bustling pedestrians and the obnoxious honking of cars in the streets. There was seldom an evening of complete silence. 

Everything was so tightly packed together, within walking distance if you didn’t feel like hopping in a car for a fifteen minute drive. You appreciated the insanity of the train station in the mornings before school, the metro so busy with students and working class individuals. You came into contact with numerous strangers throughout your day to day life. 

However, every summer until you were a senior in high school was a different story. 

Your parents wanted to keep you humble, you supposed, shipping you off to your grandparents’ for three months. Living in the city kept people too sheltered, too primped and polished for the real world. They wanted you to have that exposure, to experience what it was like to live without the fanciness of urbanization. The nine months out of the year that you spent in the city stunted that exposure, though.

When you’d arrive at their farm, luggage stacked like you were taking a trip to London or Paris, you felt like a glorified version of Regina George. Maybe Blair Waldorf. Elle Woods? You weren’t even rich like that. Your parents were nice, middle class people. There was just something about cow manure and the fear of stepping on a freshly laid egg that made it difficult to adjust to the setting.

It was most likely your stubbornness throughout your childhood that held you back even as you got older and more educated. You thought after graduating high school, the three-months-long “retreat” would come to an end. You’d only need to visit when necessary, maybe a week max. And that was true to an extent. During your university years, you only visited the farm around once a year. You were too consumed with school to even go home sometimes. 

And then your grandparents decided to retire. 

Their farm had supplied the town over with produce and other home-grown items for as long as you could remember. But they were getting older and no one in the family was willing to inherit the farm or its responsibilities. In celebration of their retirement, they planned a grand vacation to visit multiple countries. Their itinerary spanned an entire summer, just like your trips to the farm when you were younger.

Because you were the only one familiar enough with the area, they enlisted you to housesit while they were gone. You tried to get out of it, but they didn’t trust anyone else as much as you, despite your convictions about country life. So you reluctantly agreed, packing up your things to prepare for another grueling summer at the farm one last time. 

But there was a bit of a setback.

”What do you mean someone’s living in the farmhouse behind their house?” You shriek into the receiver, holding your phone between your shoulder and ear as you zip up your final bag. Your mom sighs on the other end.

”Your grandma just only now told me, apparently it slipped her mind,” you can hear the sympathy in her tone. “He’s this boy who grew up in the town and he’s gonna take over the farm for them on the condition that they still live on the property. She said he shouldn’t get in your way and he’s expecting your presence. You’ll only see him if you ever actually go out to the farm and when he brings groceries to the house.”

”Great. Another thing I didn’t sign up for.” You mutter, giving your bedroom a once over to make sure you’re not forgetting anything. “Is there anything else I should know before I get there, like a secret pet or maybe a family living in the attic?”

”Watch the attitude, Y/N,” she warns, and you shut up immediately. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal. You’re a grown adult and you’d rather spend your summer going out with your friends, but you already told your grandparents you would do this for them. It’ll be over before you know it.”

You sigh, nodding even though she can’t see it. At least you didn’t have to worry about caring for their farm animals. It was time to think of this as a staycation rather than torture. Sure, your friends were going to be living it up in the Bahamas for a week and your boyfriend was going to be here while you were surrounded by nothing but flat landscape for acres. 

Perhaps it was good for you that there would be someone else on the property. You might’ve started to feel scared being alone in the middle of nowhere for so long. Though, your boyfriend probably won’t be the biggest fan of you staying within the vicinity of another man for three months. You’d just deal with that later. 

The drive to your grandparents’ farm is actually more peaceful than anything else. Driving for long periods of time wasn’t your favorite thing to do, but doing it by yourself with nothing but your music filling your ears was a sort of therapy. It allowed you to come to terms with your fate for the summer and what it could entail, even if it wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. 

Seeing the lush greenery for miles upon miles as you neared their home evoked a sense of tranquility within you. If you kept a positive outlook on your situation, you would make it through these next few months unscathed and your sanity still intact. Maybe you despised the wide open space for years when you were a kid, but now that you’re an adult, you think you could learn to appreciate it and its beauty. 

As long as the guy living in the farmhouse didn’t bother you like your grandmother said, everything would be—

Oh. 

You pull up in front of the house, already thrown for a loop by the tall, very handsome stranger walking his dog back from the mailbox. His dark hair obscured his eyes, a bandana tied around his neck to match with the one hanging off the Border Collie’s collar. The two turn around at the sound of your engine, stopping in their tracks once you’ve parked. 

He brings a hand up to shield the sun from his eyes, watching cautiously as you park slowly. You don’t know why you’re so anxious, it’s not like you’ll be interacting with him much during your stay anyways. There’s something about his slender figure and the fact that he was so clearly dedicated to what he does upon first glance that it makes you feel shy. You suck in a sharp breath before deciding to exit your vehicle, wiping clammy palms on your denim shorts. You’re starting to regret not dressing a little cuter, a little more presentable. 

His features soften upon recognizing you, the pretty granddaughter that your grandparents showed him prior to leaving for their trip. The hand sheltering his face falls to his side and he gives you a warm smile, somehow warmer and brighter than the sweltering summer sun. You’d always been told not to talk to strangers, to keep your distance for your own safety, but you can’t help mirroring his expression with a small wave. 

“H-Hi,” your voice wobbles and you kind of want to die just a bit. “I’m Y/N. My grandparents mentioned you lived in the farmhouse out back, but didn’t give me a name or face to expect.”

He extends his arm out and you shake his hand, albeit slightly nervously. His eyes squint when he glances between you and his dog. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Y/N. I’m Yunho, and this is Yeoreum.”

The name is fitting for the red and white colored Border Collie, her tongue sticking out as she stares up at you with big eyes that almost resemble her owner’s. You bend down to pet her, patting the soft tufts of fur on her head and appreciating her licks of excitement. Yunho laughs, whistling to catch her attention. 

“Yunho and Yeoreum,” you repeat, a tiny grin on your face. “Befitting. Does she come with the property?”

“Unfortunately, no. She’s spoken for,” he teases, a pout on his features. “But she can visit whenever you’d like. Jokes aside, did you need any help moving stuff into the house?”

”That would be great, actually!” You scratch the back of your neck, lips pursing. Yunho waits for you to unlock the trunk of your car and places Yeoreum’s leash in your possession, making quick work transporting your bags inside. What was just supposed to be some light assistance, has evidently become him doing everything on his own while you stand and look pretty with his dog.

You didn’t bring too much with you since you didn’t have plans to leave while you were housesitting and your grandparents weren’t so old fashioned that they didn’t have a washing machine. Still, you felt useless allowing this stranger you’d just met to do all this manual labor on your behalf.

”Does he always do this?” You murmur to the Border Collie, falling to a seat on the lowest front porch step. She doesn’t give you a response (not that you expected her to), but pants happily in lieu of one, craning her head so you can scratch the spot behind her ear. 

“You’re a guest, it’s just good hospitality for me to help.” Yunho says as he comes out of the house, stationing himself in front of you with his hands on his hips, thumbs in his belt loops. 

“There’s a difference between helping and doing the work yourself. You’re just being modest,” you push yourself up to hand him Yeoreum’s leash. “But thank you anyway, that was really nice. I’m so tired from driving up here, so I think I would’ve collapsed doing all that back and forth.”

”You should go rest,” he glances at the house behind you. “There’s a whole three months of farm life ahead of you, so don’t wear your pretty little self out just yet.”

Yunho salutes to you and takes his leave, walking around your grandparents’ house toward what you assume is the farmhouse. Your eyes are wide and your cheeks feel hot, and you’re well aware that it’s not because of the summer heat. Your fingers clutch at the material of your t-shirt and you shake it to fan yourself. 

It seemed like you were in for a bumpy ride these next few months. But like you reiterated prior to arriving, everything would be just fine so long as you and farm boy went your separate routes and lived your separate lives. 

Yeah. Things would be alright. You hope. 

It’s a week into your stay on your grandparents’ farm when you bump into Yunho again. 

You’re toweling your neck after getting out of the shower, heading into the kitchen to make yourself another bowl of cereal for breakfast. So far the only downside has been your inability to cook a decent meal. Takeout or your boyfriend sleeping over were usually your saving grace, but without having either of those options, you’ve stuck to microwaveable things.

The sight of Yunho unloading groceries onto the counter has you squealing and nearly jumping out of your own skin. He flinches at your volume, knocking over the bag of rice resting against the vase in the center. Thankfully it was still sealed shut, if not there would’ve been a mess of rice grains all over the island counter. His clumsiness has you slapping a palm over your mouth to silence your giggles, not wanting to embarrass him.

”Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you…” You apologize sheepishly, folding your towel over your arm and placing it on a barstool nearby. 

“N-No, you’re fine! I shouldn’t have just let myself in, it’s kinda just a habit. You deserve your privacy without having to worry about whether or not I’m gonna barge in unannounced.” He dismisses your apology with a wave of his hand. “I’ll just put these up for you and then I’ll be on my way.”

”Can I help?” You waddle over to him, fingers laced behind your back. “I’d feel bad watching you put my groceries away for me after going out and getting them.”

Yunho gestures for you to occupy the space beside him with a small smile that takes solace at the corner of his mouth. The two of you do everything in complete silence, still not entirely used to each other’s presence because of the lack of crossing paths. As you’re finishing up, you start grabbing the items you need for your cereal. He raises an eyebrow at you.

”You don’t want something a little more filling?” He suddenly questions, jutting his chin at your bowl.

”I would love that if I knew how to cook,” you laugh. “Ironic isn’t it? The granddaughter of two farmers can’t cook to save their life.”

Yunho shakes his head with a chuckle, ruffling his hair. “Well, I don’t have to feed the horses for another hour if you’d like for me to whip up something better than a bowl of cereal.” 

“Really?” Your eyebrows furrow. Despite growing up with the mindset that you were above the farm life your grandparents tried to impose on you, you hated feeling like you were coming across as entitled. You didn’t want Yunho to think you were lazy or that you were too good. “You don’t have to do that. I can survive on instant ramen and cereal, I swear.”

”Y/N,” he says your name with a certain authority to it, and you’ve never loved the sound of your name coming out of someone else’s mouth so much before. “I want to. I’m not the world’s greatest chef or anything, but I have a couple tricks up my sleeve.”

”Okay, then,” you nod, taking a seat at the island. You watch in awe as he dances around the kitchen and prepares something for you. It’s weird, not in the sense that you feel awkward around this complete stranger, but because you feel the opposite. You feel comfortable around him, like you’ve known him for a while. It’s almost like Yunho has been a casual part of your life for much longer than a week. He’s easy to get along with, easy to mold into what you’re used to.

And that’s weird because you have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who cooks dinner for you most nights, but somehow has never made you feel this taken care of. It throws you off. That should definitely not be the case. How is this man doing this in one week and your boyfriend couldn’t in two years? 

The guilt settles in the pit of your stomach quickly. Sure, your boyfriend might’ve had a habit of forgetting important dates and didn’t give you half as much attention as he should’ve, but did that warrant the emotions brewing in your chest? Could that excuse this notion that maybe it was time to finally call it quits?

You zone out as Yunho finishes cooking your breakfast, too inside of your head to even fawn over the doting and slight coddling he was doing. Maybe you need to have a long conversation with Seojun about your relationship and where you want it to go. Perhaps it was a nice idea to invite him out to visit the farm, it could do you both some good. 

“Ta-da!” Yunho holds out a plate to you, the sparkle in his eyes effectively pushing out any thoughts of your boyfriend and the shame that was picking at you. You can’t help but reciprocate his expression when you see how delicious the food looks.

He’d made you omurice, the ketchup on top in cute squiggly lines to form whiskers and a little dog face. You accept the plate gratifyingly, your fingers brushing as you do so. He smiles shyly, eyeing you carefully while you take the first bite. You don’t remember the last time you had a home cooked breakfast, accustomed to the occasional muffin at the coffee shop near your house.

”’Not the world’s greatest chef’ my ass,” you grumble, pouting at his humbleness and his inability to be bad at anything. “I might just ask you to have breakfast with me every morning if you can chef it up this well.”

That melodic laugh of his rings in your ears, his elbows resting on the island and his chin in his palms. “I’m sure Yeoreum would appreciate a companion who isn’t me.”

“How long have you had her?” You ask, shoveling more omurice into your mouth. If you weren’t so hungry and so appeased by how delicious it was, you’d feel bad for ruining his hard work. The ketchup no longer looked like a dog, but rather a splatter of red all over your plate. 

“Almost four years now. I had her for a year before I met your grandparents. She adores them, so it’s no surprise that she likes you too.” He has this fond gaze in his eyes as he talks about his beloved Border Collie and it makes your heart ache. 

The fact that he has such a good relationship with your grandparents seals the deal for you. Well, it would seal the deal if you were single. Yunho is like the ideal man that every parent would want their daughter to bring home. He knows how to cook, knows how to clean. He’s adept around the house, skilled in yard work and other random jobs like fixing leaky pipes and installing new appliances. He’s gentle, but doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty. 

Your parents would never meet him, though. After the summer was over, you’d be back in Seoul and he would still be here, a distant memory. You forcibly laugh away the thought, excusing it as your response to his words and continuing the conversation about his dog. 

Perhaps this stay would be harder to get through than you thought. 

As the weeks pass you by, you find yourself becoming more and more infatuated with Jeong Yunho.

Cooking breakfast for you in the morning has become a regular thing. Monitoring him at the stove with sleepy eyes and a mug of fresh coffee in your hands has ingrained itself into your routine. Yeoreum called the spot beneath your stool her own now, laying there as her owner made your food. You think the transition from seeing him as just this comforting presence, this kind individual, to wanting something more was almost too smooth.

Especially right now as you sit on the back porch sipping on some lemonade, admiring the cowboy as he transfers bales of hay from the bed of his pickup truck to the pigpen and the cattle pen. He pauses in between trips, stripping off his flannel and tying it around his waist. He lifts the hem of the white tank top he’s wearing and uses it to wipe sweat from his forehead, revealing the toned abdomen he had been hiding from you up until now. 

You feel like you’re going insane, trying to pretend like you’re reading your book as you not so subtly gawk at his muscles straining with each bale he lifts. It’s crazy really, the effect he has on you doing his fucking job. You’ve made it a habit to sit out here and stare at him under the guise of various other things. Aside from being borderline obsessive, it’s horrible because you’re still very much in a relationship.

Most people would feel a hell of a lot worse than you do, like their entire world was crumbling between their fingertips just for finding someone else attractive. But for some reason, as time has continued to roll on, that guilt— that self-preservation— has faded. You’re dipping into another emotion that you’re too scared to explore. 

Yunho takes a break from his labor to guzzle down a bottle of water, his chest heaving up and down from exertion. Had you been paying attention to anything other than the view of the handsome man, you would’ve noticed the glass sliding out of your grasp, the condensation becoming far too dense to keep a solid grip on the cup. In the midst of drooling over him, your lemonade falls to the ground with a loud clanging noise.

Your reflexes are only swift enough to save your book, but the drink spills everywhere else and you wince at how embarrassing the situation is. You hurry inside to grab a towel before he can see the mortification enveloping your features. He seemed like the observant type, like one scan of your face could tell him everything he needs to know without a single word exchanged. Your fingers curl around the edge of the counter, blowing a raspberry while you attempt to regulate your blood pressure.

Through the window above the kitchen sink, you make out a confused Yunho, brows furrowed as he looks in the direction of the house. He worried over you entirely too much, particularly when you take into account the fact that all you did was think about him in manners not necessarily safe for work. Maybe you were just delirious. That was the only logical explanation for why you’re spiraling.

The high temperatures of the summer coupled with your surroundings are contributing to your change in behavior. Yes. That made sense. You weren’t crazy.

With a bit more reprieve, you’re able to grab a tea towel and head back outside to clean up your mess. (Not unaccompanied by a couple glances in Yunho’s direction, but that’s fine. Perfectly healthy even. It’s normal to check up on a friend. At least, that’s what you tell yourself, but who’s holding you accountable?)

“You know you’ve been making me breakfast every morning without asking for anything in return,” you speak up one morning, chin resting on the island. “Is there anything I can do to repay you?” 

Yunho purses his lips as he hands you your plate. “Nah, I like cooking for you.”

You try to ignore the way that has your heart fluttering in your chest, try to ignore the warmth blooming beneath your skin. Your eyes glance down at your food to avoid eye contact, bringing your chopsticks up to your lips. “Okay, well I wanna do something for you.”

Despite mumbling the words, he hears you anyway and smiles to himself as he takes a sip from his mug. He rolls up the sleeves of his denim button up, reaching down to scratch behind Yeoreum’s ear, the area that you’ve learned is her favorite. She pants joyfully, jumping on his leg excitedly. He looks between the two of you.

”Missy here needs a bath,” he says, cooing at her. “I was gonna give her one later, after I cleaned out the stables, but if you don’t mind doing it.”

”I’d do just about anything for that precious girl,” you nod enthusiastically. “Consider it done.”

This is how you end up out back, dog shampoo in one hand and the water hose in the other. 

Yeoreum’s signature bandana and collar lay on one of the rocking chairs on the porch, the dog looking so different without her accessories as you prepare to bathe her. You wet her fur generously, squeezing enough shampoo into your palm to lather it on. Compared to your childhood pets, she’s pretty well behaved.

She’s probably one of the only dogs who’s ever actually enjoyed taking a bath, sitting still for you while you scrub and rinse and repeat. You take your time with cleaning her, wanting to make sure you do your best as a thank you for every plate Yunho has ever made you. Usually, this isn’t something you would jump at the opportunity to do. Somehow, being back at the farm this past month or so has done everything your parents tried to do when you were younger.

It could’ve had to do with the desensitization of being here every summer for so long that it just never stuck when you were grade school age. But now, fully grown and experiencing this all over again on your own, with new faces at your side, it’s like you’re being exposed to something different. You can see why your mom and dad didn’t want the city life to become a dependency. 

You preferred the view of cabs and cafés over cows and chickens in the past, but now you found a sense of familiarity in them. You’d always want to go home as soon as you got here. Unlike other kids, you wanted your summer to be over as quickly as possible. You couldn’t imagine going home after this, though. This unveiled attachment to the farm you detested when you were younger could only be accredited to one person, and it was a little frightening. 

He constantly brought out parts of you that you didn’t know existed. This enigma, the one that emphasized how big of a role he’s fulfilling in the short period of time you’ve been here, drills itself into your brain every day. You knew you had to acknowledge it sooner or later, but it was just less of a hassle to act like it wasn’t screaming at you. Your fear of change was a more pertinent issue to ignore, so you let it consume all else. 

While getting lost in your thoughts, Yeoreum starts shaking and startles you, causing your hold on the hose to loosen, water spraying everywhere. The diversion has you losing your footing and slipping in the mud. You shriek, though it does nothing to block the stream that drenches you, your clothes getting wet. The universe decides it’s not on your side, because you happened to wear a white shirt. Why you chose to do that when you knew you were bathing a dog, you have no clue, but it was a little too late for regrets.

Yeoreum jumps out of the basin you had her in and runs to the farmhouse just as Yunho’s walking out, fresh from the shower. You forgot that he was cleaning the stables at the same time you were giving the Border Collie her bath, but now you’re starting to wish you waited until afterward just in case you needed the assistance. And well, you definitely needed the assistance. 

Plucking the tail end of the mishap, Yunho’s initial reaction is to laugh at your misfortune, but the closer he gets to the scene, the laughter dies out in his throat. Your top is sheer enough that he can map out the outline of your black bra. It leaves very little to the imagination and he thinks he might fall to his knees right here.

Since your grandparents told him that you’d be house sitting while they were away and proudly showcased a photo of you, he’s been enthralled by you. You had the face of an angel, or maybe a really enticing demon, he hasn’t cogitated it much yet. 

He swallows thickly, hoping to keep his composure as he makes his way to you. His hand is a little shaky when it reaches to take the hose from you, squeezing his eyes closed and switching off the water. He stays there for a few seconds to mentally prep himself for an up-close-and-personal look at you, even going as far as holding his breath. 

“Uh— you— um— you should go inside and dry off before you catch a cold,” Yunho keeps his eyes cast downward. He’s grateful that you don’t note how red the tips of his ears are, or how he thinks the sky is suddenly much more interesting than your face.

Your head cocks to the side in confusion. “What do you mean ‘before I catch a cold’? It’s, like, a million degrees out.” 

“The temperature drops at night and the sun’s setting soon. I’ll handle it from here. Yeoreum ran off, so I gotta chase after her anyway and I don’t think you want her to soak you more than she already has.” He’s insistent on shooing you away and getting you inside of the house. You huff.

”Okay… If you say so…” 

Reluctantly, you spin around and traverse back. The draft of the air conditioning has you shivering, rubbing up and down your arms as you enter the bathroom to inspect the damage. Your eyes almost bulge out of their sockets when you finally see yourself. No wonder Yunho was so adamant on staving you off like you were the plague. 

In your defense, you didn’t think the hose won the battle by that much. You assumed you’d just gotten everything above your shoulders wet, but no. You were practically doused head to toe. And the clear display of your brassiere under your clothes was the last thing on your mind.

He was stronger than you. Actually, he was a more respectful person than you. You would’ve gawked at him shamelessly if the roles were reversed. But at least you’re self aware! Right? The first step in recognizing that you have a problem, is admitting that you have a problem. That’s what you think they say in those addiction commercials, but you could be wrong. 

Wow. Now you were comparing him to drugs. Though, you suppose there isn’t that huge of a difference. Both had equal success rates in terms of getting people high and then making it hard to wane off their effects. 

You really had to quit it with the metaphor usage. 

It’s around midnight that night when the lightbulb in the bathroom goes out, halting you from finishing your bedtime routine. 

You’re exhausted to say the least, face damp from washing it and one of those fuzzy hairbands with the animal ears perched on your head. You were ready to crash out, but there were still a couple things you needed to do before that. It was proving to be a little difficult in the pitch black bathroom. The window above the shower was too narrow to provide any sufficient moonlight.

With a low grumble, you shuffle into your slippers and make the short trek from your grandparents’ house to Yunho in the farmhouse. You hug yourself when a strong breeze blows past, your flimsy t-shirt and sleep shorts doing hardly anything to block the cool summer night’s air. 

A piece of you feels a little bad for bothering him so late, but you have no idea how to change a lightbulb. You don’t even know where the lightbulbs are. Besides, you think you’d electrocute yourself if you made an attempt to do it on your own. 

You huff out a sigh and bring your knuckles up to knock at his door, waiting patiently for a response. He’s not asleep, you know this because he’s mentioned that his internal clock doesn’t turn off until two in the morning. Circadian rhythms were an odd concept, so to each their own. 

“Yunho! It’s Y/N! Open up!”

When a few minutes have passed, you try the knob. Maybe it was a bit… too presumptuous of you to enter his home without explicit permission. Yes, you’d known each other for the better part of a month and a half, and yes, you’d gotten very close in that timeframe, but did that constitute your actions?

Whether or not the answer to that question was a yes or a no, you really wish you would’ve just waited outside. As you venture further in search of the cowboy, you stumble upon something you shouldn’t have. 

Standing in the hallway on the other side of his bedroom, the door ajar at least an inch, you catch a glimpse of him on his bed. That white tank top you’re so used to seeing him in is between his teeth, eyebrows knit together in pure pleasure as he fists his cock with a purpose. His nostrils are flared and whiny moans escape from behind the fabric. 

His head falls back every now and then, eyes fluttering shut when he runs his thumb over the slit. He’s so focused that he doesn’t notice you, too entranced with chasing his high. Your lips part as you watch him fuck up into his hand, his shirt slipping from his mouth when he groans out a curse. 

Just as quickly as you become distracted by the sight of Yunho jerking off, you become aware of what you’re doing. You flee the scene before you get yourself caught, exiting the farmhouse as quietly as you can. The lightbulb can wait until morning, it wasn’t that important, honestly. You’re in a daze the entire walk back to your grandparents house, goosebumps littering your arms and the image of him in such an obscene state burned into your brain. 

You fall backwards onto your bed, staring at the ceiling in hopes of willing away the path your mind is beginning to wander towards. All you can think about is the sight of him so desperate for release, large hand wrapped around his dick, abdomen contracting with need. You know you weren’t supposed to see, weren’t supposed to bear witness to something so personal. 

It’s difficult to push out the nasty, inappropriate thoughts clouding your head. His expressions contorted into absolute bliss. His slender fingers could probably do so much more than your own, could probably reach places you’d never even dreamed of. And fuck, his dick, prettier and bigger than any other you’ve ever seen. 

Your chest blushes with heat, an embarrassment washing over you when you realize you’re turned on. You should feel terrible for intruding on Yunho’s privacy like that, especially without him knowing, but all you can do is want him more than you already do. That craving for something deeper, carnal, fans the flame engulfing you, dragging you further into the sick and twisted hell you’ve created for yourself. 

Yunho has been nothing but welcoming, kind and gentle with you, someone he didn’t even know the name of until last month. Someone who’s done everything in their power to repress this lifestyle for so long. And for some reason, it just comes so easily with him. You don’t feel forced to enjoy living on the farm. He makes you laugh and puts a smile on your face effortlessly. He has you wondering if life can actually be this simple. 

But when all is said and done, there will be somebody else waiting for you back home. Somebody who doesn’t know how to whip up omurice with freshly laid eggs. Somebody who isn’t even a dog person, who thinks pets are nuisances. Somebody who doesn’t live in the farmhouse behind your grandparents’. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

If you touch yourself with tears streaming down your cheeks to the thought of the man who has eyes that resemble the night sky, well that’s between you and whatever higher being exists out there. 

You sit across from Yunho with bated breath, afraid that if you opened your mouth he would know your dirty secret. You avoid his eyes for the same reason, like one good look at you would reveal what you were trying to hide. 

Yunho himself was doing his best to pretend like he hadn’t masturbated to the thought of you last night. He liked to think he was good at keeping his feelings under wraps. It wasn’t like he didn’t know you were in a relationship, he’s heard you on the phone before. He stays silent as he fries rice in a pan and has some bread in the toaster. The only sounds in the kitchen are sizzling and the pants coming from Yeoreum under your stool. 

In the time that you’ve been here, never once has it been awkward between you like this. The conversation usually doesn’t stop flowing, rolling on and on and filtering into things that don’t pertain to the original subject. He rarely has his back to you for too long, turning over his shoulder to shoot you a grin every here and now. 

Both of you go to speak at the same time as a means of salvaging the morning from eternal strain. You stare at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Truly, you were two birds of a feather, or however that saying goes.

”Sorry, I don’t know why I’m being so quiet today,” Yunho says, though he knows it’s a lie. “I guess I had a long night.”

”Oh, that reminds me,” his mention of the previous night has you recalling the reason you went out to the farmhouse in the first place. “The light in my bathroom went out, do you think you can fix it for me?” 

“Yeah, for sure,” he begins preparing your plate. “Actually, I have this joke about lightbulbs. You wanna hear it?”

Your lips curl into a smile, already attempting to hold back your laughter. With a raised eyebrow, you respond, “What is it?”

”What did the lightbulb say to the light switch?” He asks nonchalantly, taking a bite from his own piece of toast. You’re failing miserably at acting like you don’t think the joke is funny, although he hasn’t even told you the punchline yet.

”I dunno, Yunho, what did the lightbulb say to the light switch?” 

“‘You turn me on.’” 

There’s a pregnant pause as the joke resonates and you can’t stop yourself from cackling at how stupid it is. He joins in, but mostly because your laughter is contagious. His chest swells with pride at his successful landing, feeling like he’s on top of the world just for bringing a smile to your face. God, he was down tremendously bad. 

Your spoon clatters onto the counter as you lean over, a hand clapped over your mouth as your boisterous laughing simmers into a giggle. Yunho leans into you slightly, matching your energy as he munches on his toast. This is what has you conflicted, so at war with yourself. The proximity should have you pulling away, but something about him always reels you in, despite the consequences that await.

And unfortunately, those consequences come to a head today.

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N?” 

You and Yunho jump back, whipping towards the source of the voice. Seojun stands there, his bags at his feet and his face crestfallen, disbelief written all over it. He shakes his head and turns to leave, you stumbling off of the barstool to follow behind him. The guilt you’ve only ever felt momentarily settles deep in your chest and deep in your stomach, though you technically haven’t done anything wrong.

Your abruptness startles Yeoreum and she’s up in a heartbeat, tailing behind you curiously. Yunho has to rush to stop her, but a part of himself wants to do the same. No matter how much he likes you, he’s never wanted to be the cause of your relationship falling apart. He wanted you organically, not like this.

”Seojun! Wait!” You call after him, holding up a hand to block out the harsh sunlight, tripping over your slippers. He scoffs. 

“What am I waiting for? You to spew some bullshit about how nothing’s going on between the two of you? I’m not fucking stupid, Y/N. I’m not blind.” He pops open his trunk and throws his bags in haphazardly.

”You’re being unreasonable,” you exclaim, rounding the car so you’re directly in front of him. “There is nothing going on. We’ve just gotten to know each other since we live in the same vicinity. Did you want me to stay here for three months and hole myself away with no other human contact?”

“He was just supposed to be the guy who lived in the farmhouse. He wasn’t supposed to bother you. That’s what you told me, remember?” Seojun is losing his patience, something that has always been the root of the problem when you’ve gotten into past arguments. “How do you expect me to react when I come to surprise you and see you being so close to another man?”

“I was laughing at a joke he told me. You’re making this a bigger deal than it is and blowing everything completely out of proportion. I’m sorry that it never came up that we became friends, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve never once cheated on you in the three years we’ve been together and for you to accuse me of that is so fucking low of you.” You’re not going to cry, not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s won. He thrives off of seeing your vulnerability and you won’t let him have it. 

“I saw the way he was looking at you,” he seethes, balling his hands into fists at his sides. “I know that look because that’s how I used to look at you.”

A laugh devoid of any humor leaves you and he blinks. “That’s how you ‘used to’ look at me? When did you stop? And why am I just finding this out?”

”That’s not— that isn’t what I meant, Y/N—“

”No, Seojun. You did,” you glance away from him, nipping at the inside of your cheek. “We’re grasping for straws. We aren’t going anywhere anymore and we haven’t for a while now. That’s why we're standing here arguing over this. I just want to know why you didn’t just tell me.”

”I’m too complacent,” he sighs, breathing through his nose. “I was too comfortable with you and I didn’t know how to let you go or walk away. But you’re right, there isn’t anything for us to save, and it seems like we’re both ready to move on.”

“What does that mean?” 

“I saw how you were looking at him, too. You might not have acted on it, but you have feelings for him. I’m not gonna stay and hold you back.” Seojun unlocks his car, opening the door. “And for what it’s worth, you won’t be wasting your time.”

You don’t respond, instead humming and letting him drive off. Once his car is far enough out of your view, you go back into the house. There’s an indescribable emotion that hostages you, binding your wrists and tying you down metaphorically. You can’t seem to shake it. 

Yunho is still in the kitchen, sitting on the floor with Yeoreum to keep her calm. He gazes up at you expectantly and you feel the tears you were suppressing from Seojun bubbling up. If you weren’t going to cry in front of your (now ex) boyfriend, you definitely weren’t going to cry in front of him. 

With a trembling exhale, you force yourself to say, “I need to be alone.”

He understands empathetically, clipping on Yeoreum’s leash and leaving the house in the same breath. That in itself has you crying like a baby the moment you’re all by yourself. You hold your face in your hands, body shuddering with each sob you release. 

I saw the way he was looking at you. 

I saw how you were looking at him, too. 

You had a lot to think about, and everything always seemed to circle back to Jeong Yunho. 

A couple days escape you before you register you haven’t seen much of Yunho. After your breakup with Seojun, you really did need a bit of room to process it all, but you hadn’t realized just how much you depended on the cowboy’s presence until you were missing it. 

You hadn’t meant to push him away, if that’s how he saw it. A night of bawling your eyes out with a pint of ice cream and The Vow was enough to cure you. However, it appears that he thought you needed more, going as far as putting a pin in your daily breakfast ritual. You aren’t sure how to extend an olive branch when you weren’t even trying to cause a rift between you in the first place. 

Being with someone for three years may not seem like a lot, but that fraction of your life is stuck with you, like a thumbtack that refuses to come out of the wall. You’d had boyfriends before Seojun, but they weren’t nearly as serious. There weren't formal introductions between parents, no late night conversations that bleed into early mornings, no sleepovers and quick kisses before work. 

Of course, after a certain point, those had just become habitual. You weren’t doing them because they evoked a sense of love or care anymore, but rather because you were familiar with them. It was safer to continue the pattern of waking up and falling asleep to Seojun on the other side of the bed, the intrusion of sunlight and the cacophony of traffic outside your window, even if you didn’t really want to. 

And then you came here. 

Somehow, returning to your grandparents’ farm was exactly what you needed to break through that cycle. As much as you would love to attest it to your location and discovering the appreciation your family wanted you to feel for it, you know the real reason. It’s all thanks to a certain cowboy.

Yunho’s feelings for you run far deeper than he could’ve imagined. He doesn’t know the extent of what happened with you and Seojun, but he thinks putting distance between you is better in the long run anyway. On the off chance you’re still together, he wants to preserve his heart. He’s handed it to someone else too easily in the past and he doesn’t want to make that mistake with you if you don’t feel the same. 

But even on the off chance that you’ve broken up, he still wants to stop himself from falling further and harder than he already has. Without ill will, he doubts that you would give up the life you have in the city for this, for him. He’ll be perpetually chained to being a faint imprint on your memory of the summer. You’ll think back to the months you spent here and he’ll have played only a minor role. 

It was wishful thinking, too hopeful of him to presume this would lead to a happy ending. You were from different worlds, led different lives. It was time for him to be realistic. And that meant implementing the space that was supposed to exist between you from the get go. 

Though, you make it difficult when he bumps into you on the way back from the mailbox. Déjà vu, anyone?

Yeoreum is excited to see you, jumping onto her haunches to lick your face when you kneel to her level. You giggle, squeezing one eye shut as you balance yourself and hold her still so her weight doesn’t clamber you both onto the ground. Your fingers pet to top of her head softly as you coo, “Who’s a good girl?”

Yunho physically winces when his chest tightens at the sight of his two favorite girls. The word ‘distance’ bounces around his head like a pinball, reminding him what he’s supposed to be doing. He just can’t bring himself to walk away. Especially when you look at him with those pretty eyes of yours. 

“Hey…” You start, steeling your tone to ensure it’s even. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding you or something. I needed some time to myself to figure things out. It wasn’t my intention to shut you out and put you on the back burner.”

”No, it’s okay. I had to figure stuff out on my own, too,” he uses his bandana to dab at the sweat perspiring on his forehead. “Did you sort through whatever you needed to?”

“I did,” you nod, standing upright. “Seojun and I broke up, so I had to sit with my feelings for a bit. We’ve been together for so long, I think I needed to remember what it was like to be without him, and then I realized that’s basically what I’ve been doing since I came here.”

”Oh.” Yunho’s lips form an ‘O’ shape, hands dragging down the sides of his pants. “I’m sorry— um— about your breakup.”

”Don’t be,” you smile, dismissing his sympathy. “It was a long time coming, honestly. We weren’t really in the relationship wholeheartedly anymore. There wasn’t a point in stringing it along, you know? But that’s enough about me, did you figure your own things out?”

”I thought I did,” he says, which is true considering he’d been mulling over what to do with his emotions subsequent to your argument with your ex. “And then I kinda steered off course. It’s alright, though, I think I like the new conclusion I’ve come to a lot better.”

You might be on the same page now, but there was an entire discussion that had to happen to solidify that. Following a very emotionally charged past couple days, you could do without that today. You’re both just glad that the air is cleared and you can resume building the bond that began forming the moment you stepped foot onto the farm, no restrictions whatsoever.

“Have you ever ridden a horse?” 

You glance up from your book, this time genuinely reading it as Yunho fed the chickens and cleaned up their coop. He towers over you while he asks the question, his shadow thwarting off any direct sunlight. Your nose scrunches. 

“When I was in, like, middle school? It’s been a minute,” you answer, making sure to bookmark the page you stopped at. “Why?

”Would you let me teach you how to do it again?” He nips at his lower lip, like he’s nervous you’ll say no. The truth of the matter is you’d say yes even if he asked you to commit arson, which is kind of a problem.

“That sounds fun,” you shrug. “What time should I be ready?”

”Uh, now?” 

Okay, so sitting on a horse did not seem this scary when you were twelve.

It probably had to do with you being fearless and whatnot, but also because you did whatever your grandparents asked just to appease them. The faster you got off the damn horse, the faster you could go back inside and situate yourself in front of the TV. They thought they were making progress with you, but really you were outsmarting the outsmarters. 

Sweat glazes on the underside of your hands, disrupting the security of your grasp on the reins. Yunho thought it would be wiser if he stayed on foot, guiding you and the horse around the perimeter of the pen. You hoped you didn’t look as afraid as you were, but you’re certain the slight quiver of your bottom lip gives it away. 

“You’re doing fine, Y/N,” he reassures, maintaining a comforting amount of eye contact with you.

”Am I? Or does it just seem that way because you’re pulling the horse?” You quip, gripping the reins tighter when it steps over a rock and you sway a little. Your tone is laced with sarcasm, something Yunho hasn’t heard much of from you since you’ve met, but he thinks it’s cute that you resort to violence when you’re scared.

You notice the quirk of his mouth and how he’s trying not to laugh at your terror. It pisses you off solely because his humor isn’t unwarranted. You are being a bit over dramatic. He unties his bandana from around his neck and tosses it to you. “So you don’t callus your hands.”

He’s too thoughtful, too considerate for his own good, but that’s what roped you in. Even when you met for the first time, he had you figured out. The longer you stare at him, the more you realize just how perfect he is. If you were still in school and you were tasked with writing an essay about the summer you spent here, you’re sure the words would flow onto the pages flawlessly, without skipping a beat. Your prose would be so beautifully written, that even the most notable authors would be envious of your experience.

The only downside of this was the fact that time was beginning to seep through your fingers. There was mutuality in your feelings for each other, that was almost unequivocal. You were both just hesitant in taking that first leap. The uncertainty lied with that goodbye at the end of August, the one that’ll hurt a lot more than it was supposed to. But you know that postponing your unceremonious declaration of feelings would just do more harm than anything else. 

One consistency you’ve singled out since coming back to the farm is this common theme of divine intervention, or fate, whatever you want to call it. Right when you’re on the brink of an epiphany, you’re always forcefully shoved into it, like a freight train crashing into its platform traveling at full speed. This moment is no different. 

Yeoreum barking at a squirrel on the other side of the pen scares the horse who’s back you were currently on. It bucks up and you release the reins in alarm. You fall quickly, but Yunho’s quicker, catching you in his arms like it’s been a childhood dream of his to be a superhero. He searches your face for any indication that you might be hurt, a hand coming up to cup your cheek. 

The eyes you’ve grown to adore examine your own with so much care that you find yourself melting in his hold. Your face instinctively leans into his palm, fingers still clutching the fabric of his shirt like he may drop you. 

It’s nearly second-nature to minimize the gap between you. 

You never understood what novelists meant when they described kissing scenes. And you think that’s because you’d never truly had a kiss like this before. It was as if they were all talking about this second, this blip in time. The sparks that shoot from where your lips meet to the tips of your fingers, the thump-thump-thump of your heartbeat in your ears, the sensation of never wanting to escape, never wanting to stop. 

Yunho’s hand snakes behind your head, tangling in your hair to deepen the connection. It’s hungry. It’s desperate. It’s too much. It’s not enough. Everything that had been stacking on top of each other was leading to this, the collision that rivaled the Big Bang. You whine into his lips, an invitation but also an inquiry. 

He parts from you just so he can catch his breath, his forehead resting on yours. “Can I take you inside?”

You nod fervently. “Yes. Please.”

He wastes no time hauling you to the farmhouse. His grip on your wrist is gentle as he pulls you into his bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and trapping you between his legs. Your restraint wears thin, nimble fingers fumbling with the rest of the buttons on his denim shirt. You push it off of his shoulders, a bit shell shocked when you discover that he’s wearing a regular t-shirt as opposed to his usual tank top. 

“You would pull something like this today of all days,” you laugh breathily, untucking the shirt from his pants. He reciprocates the sentiment, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck while you undress him. 

“Is it evil of me to say I was sorta hoping this would happen?” He speaks into your exposed collarbone, nipping, sucking, biting the skin. Your appreciative sigh goads him, his tongue gliding across the abused surface as a form of relief. 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head, fast to yank off his shirt and run your nails down his abdomen. “I’ve been waiting for this for too long.”

“Yeah?” Yunho flips the two of you easily so you’re the one on the bed now. He pushes up the hem of your shirt, pecking your stomach to your clavicle as he shows more and more of your skin until the fabric is removed from your body. “Can’t believe I finally get to have you.”

You involuntarily moan, completely untouched and because of his words alone. Every part of you feels like it’s lit ablaze, burning with want and need and everything in between. This ran further than just what-ifs and late night fantasies. Your relationship with Yunho tiptoed on the edge of something you’ve never known before, and that makes this so much more special. 

He glances up at you when his fingers reach for the button of your shorts, a silent ask for permission. You give him the green light and hold yourself up on your elbows, watching with your breathing trapped in your throat as he rids of your panties along with them. His hands push your knees to your chest, kissing your inner thighs and right around the place you need him most, but never there. 

“Yunho…” You warn, but it comes across as a broken whimper rather than an establishment of authority. He laughs and then his lips are pressing to your clit, a sweet kiss that has all rationality taking a vacation from your brain. Your head tips back and you fist at the sheets. 

He drags his tongue through your folds, swirling it around the sensitive bundle of nerves each time it makes its return. It’s almost criminal how good it feels to have his mouth on your cunt, eyes already heavy lidded with pleasure. He sucks on your clit at the same time he decides to insert a finger into your entrance, curling it experimentally just because he can. Like you predicted, it reaches that spongy spot at the crook of your pussy, brushing it once he’s sure he’s found it. 

While you walked in on him fucking his fist, the only thing on his mind was you. He was so absorbed in the mental image of what you would look like beneath him, wiggling, writhing, squirming with indulgence. His social awareness was at a zero. This replayed over and over until he came, his thoughts so vivid he could’ve swore it was real.

But this, the actual thing, was so much better; his forearm pinning your hips down, his middle finger curling and uncurling inside of you, his mouth working overtime to inch you towards the edge of that steep cliff. He moans when your eyebrows practically coalesce, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. You look so gorgeous like this, so disoriented all because of the bliss he was providing. The vibrations of the sound have you arching your back, uncontrollable whines running from your mouth.

“Feel good?” Yunho asks, disconnecting his mouth and replacing it with his other hand, ring and middle digits swiping across your clit with practiced pressure. 

“Mhm,” you nod frantically, eyes on the brink of rolling to the back of your head. “Feels so good, Yun… Just like that, ‘m almost there.”

That’s all he needs to hear, switching his hand and mouth once again, focusing on alternating harsh and gentle sucks of your clit, adding a second finger to pump in and out of your hole. The doubled change in stimulation knocks the wind out of you, the precipice of your orgasm so close you can taste it. You’d never been brought to the summit this early in the past, and you think Yunho deserves some sort of reward for being the first to do so.

You’d worry about that later though, because you’re blindsided by it before you can even conjure your next thought. You cum with a cry, tears springing to your eyes from the immense amount of ecstasy coursing through your veins, swimming in your bloodstream. Yunho coos at you, not stopping until you’ve relaxed in his hold. “That’s it, baby, you’re doing so well.”

The praise makes your head feel airy, like empty space unoccupied by anything. If you paid attention in chemistry, then you’d know that’s highly impossible, but you didn’t. The only chemistry you even remotely care about is the one between you and Yunho, the tension that has piled higher and higher for days on end until its crescendo now. 

You sit up to kiss him roughly, savoring the taste of yourself on his lips. He smiles into it, a hand raising to caress the underside of your jaw. He climbs onto the bed, scooting you up so you’re positioned by the pillows. It doesn’t take much effort for your bodies to swap, his back to the headboard. You clumsily seat yourself on his lap, a knee on either side of him and sighing wistfully when his mouth trails down your throat and sternum, slender fingers sneaking behind you to unclasp your bra.

He aids you in removing his pants, still simultaneously prioritizing kisses all over your bare chest. When you’re both fully naked, you take your time admiring his cock. It’s just as pretty as you remember, long and thick. Your hand wraps around it gingerly, stroking the length as you lean down to kiss him again. You don’t think you could ever get enough of his lips on your own. 

“I’m not exactly getting any action over here, so I don’t have any condoms,” he says into your kiss, voice no louder than a whisper. 

“That’s okay,” you run your fingers through his hair. “Wanna feel you anyways, all of you.”

”Fuck, Y/N, you can kill a man with those words.” He groans, nails digging into your hips. You giggle, but it’s interrupted by him sitting you fully, his dick slipping through your lower lips. A whine brushes his ear when the tip catches your clit, repeating the movement until you can’t stay still.

The closest you’ll ever get to Heaven on earth is Yunho’s cock pushing inside of you, filling you up so deliciously you think you could die like this. Your jaw slackens, hands coming up to support yourself on his shoulders. Even if this is a one time thing, something that never happens again during your stay at the farm, he wants you to remember this when you go back home. He wants you to recall this sliver in your timeline and never forget it, wants his name engraved in your memory like a branding iron.

Once he feels you’ve adjusted to him well enough, he pulls you off of him almost entirely, just to ram back in without mercy. He punches a voluminous moan from you, eyes watching where he disappears in you and reemerges. You’re tighter and so much warmer than he dreamed you’d be, but it’s perfect. You suck him in like a vacuum, as if his cock was made to be inside of you, as if you didn’t want him to part from you.

“You’re s-so deep, Yun,” you mewl, pulling him in for another headache-inducing kiss. “Don’t wanna stop.”

He exhales through his nostrils, mumbling out a curse when your walls squeeze around him. He wanted to last a while for you, wanted to hold out and prolong this moment until you were both on the crest of passing out. But you feel like a glove, your silk-adjacent cunt begging for more and more. 

“Think I might cum soon, princess,” he groans, tossing his head back and just about losing every ounce of his sanity when your lips start marking the column of his throat. 

His big hands move under your thighs, holding you in place so he can fuck up into you. The pace at which his cock drills in and out of your pussy has you seeing stars, eyes snapping shut and nothing but colorful spots decorating your vision. You were already abhorrently sensitive following your first orgasm, so it didn’t really take much to introduce the second. 

Your hips stutter and it washes over you like a tidal wave, your body shuddering and collapsing into his top half. He pulls out of you quickly, mouth stationed by your ear as he jerks himself off until he’s painting your backside. He moans, a lot like the sounds he was making the other night, and you feel the need to just kiss him again. 

Your lips lock sweetly, a stark contrast to your previous actions. Yunho curves a hand on your cheek, seperating from you the smallest distance so he can admire you. The smile that etches onto his expression makes you dizzier than anything else. However, the cutesiness can only span so long before the setting gives way. 

Yunho’s hand snakes in between you, his forefinger sliding up and down your slit teasingly. Your breath comes out shaky, your face finding purchase in the crook of his neck. He replaces the digit with his middle finger, parting your pussy lips in search of your clit. It doesn’t take him very long to find it, rubbing tight circles into the engorged skin. You moan into his shoulder, resting your forehead on it to see the way he works your cunt. 

“You’re so wet, baby. Have I not fucked you enough?” He whispers into your ear huskily. Yunho talking dirty to you is something you didn’t know you needed in your life. His finger slips downward, thrusting up into your hole with ease. He keeps massaging your clit with his palm, the stimulation making your head woozy.

“Mmmph— Yun, god. Feels too good.” You whine, gyrating your hips on his hand. 

“Is that right, babe?” He encourages, adding a second finger and increasing the speed of their thrusts, almost like you hadn’t been in this position already. “I can’t wait to feel this tight little pussy around my cock again. Gonna fuck you harder than the last.”

Your whimpers raise in volume, focusing on the way he curls his digits in you, applying pressure with the heel of his palm to the circles he’s rubbing into your clit. You can sense your third orgasm approaching, warmth flooding your cheeks at how embarrassingly fast he worked you back up. Your walls clench around his fingers, alerting him of how close you are. He pauses, worming his body down so his face is eye level with your cunt again.

Yunho does the whole teasing thing a second time, kissing and suckling the hot skin of your belly, knowingly denying you of your release. You grab a handful of his hair, tugging at the ends to spur him on. He groans, giving into you and licking a straight line up your slit. He inserts both fingers again, this time using his tongue to manipulate your swollen clit.

The heat of Yunho’s mouth makes your insides ache, the necessity to cum intensifying. You keen loudly, desperately, needily, the sight of the brunette between your legs so incredibly arousing. He sucks on your throbbing clit, his long fingers as deep as they can go, and you crumble. 

“Oh my god— oh my god— I’m cumming! I’m—” You cut yourself off, convulsing under him. He laps up as much of your juices as he can, coating his chin with your release. You moan as you pull him towards you to unify your lips, a mixture of your saliva and cum connect your mouths in strings. At this point, the sex is messier than anything you could’ve plucked from your wildest dreams. 

One hand trails down your body, using your nimble fingers to play with your sensitive clit when he starts fisting his cock in preparation to enter your pussy again. You use your free hand to scratch at his contracting abs. He hisses, propping himself up with one arm next to your head and his eyes trained on the way you finger yourself at the same time. You can feel his breath on your cheeks and being in this proximity to him fuels your yearning.

“Please, Yun… Need you back inside of me,” you whimper. Rubbing your clit with your own fingers isn’t satisfying enough, not with him here in front of you, not when you know how good he can make you feel.

“Fuck, baby, when you beg like that I don’t know if I can hold back.” He chuckles lowly. It rumbles from his chest, shooting to your core. 

“So don’t,” you rouse. “This is more than just a one time thing for me, Yunho.”

His eyes widen just a bit, your confession catching him off guard. That’s all he needs to line himself up with your hole, hooking his forearm under your knee as he slides in, stretching your cunt so perfectly with his perfect cock. “Shit— you’re so tight, princess… It’s almost like I didn’t just fuck you within an inch of your life.” He moans and spreads your legs wider. He bottoms out with a grunt, throwing his head back from the feeling of your velvety walls. A near deafening cry is ripped from your vocal cords. He nips at your neck, starting to piston his hips. 

His thrusts don’t slow but become calculated, speeding up and diving deep simultaneously. It only took a short amount of time to figure out what you liked and he used it to his advantage. Yunho hikes your knee to your chest, groping your tits with his free hand. He twists and tugs at your nipples just hard enough that it contributes to your pleasure rather than hurts you.

It’s as if he doesn’t feel buried inside of you sufficiently, because he decreases his pace to press and fold your other leg up, his hips ramming into your ass with each thrust now. The tip of his cock kisses at what feels like your cervix. That familiar coil begins to fasten again, keening with every drive into your cunt. The squelching noises would’ve made you cower in shame with anyone else, but with Yunho it turns you on further.

You moan, and he flattens his hand on the lower part of your stomach. Yunho groans, biting the skin where your shoulder meets your neck. Your fingers find your clit again, circling insatiably to get yourself off. 

“You gonna cum for me again?” He rasps, his hold on your legs almost painful. The backs of your thighs burn, but you endure it for the sake of the moment. You reach up and behind yourself, grabbing at the headboard in an attempt to match his force. 

“Oh my god, yes— yes yes yes yes,” you babble, the syllables blurring together like your mind. “Gonna cum so hard for you, Yunho. Keep going, please.”

His lips attach to yours, tongues tangling sloppily. The position you’re in is on the opposite end of the spectrum from how you were expecting this summer reunion to go. Had you not been made aware of Yunho living here at the last minute, you probably would’ve backed out of your commitment to staying. Deep down you’re a little too thankful that your grandmother mentioned him when it was too late to reconsider. 

“I think I’m in love with you, Y/N,” Yunho whispers into your mouth. 

You let go of the headboard, cupping his jaw and kissing him lovingly. “Me too.”

Your fingers speed up and so do his thrusts, perfectly timed with each other to shove you both towards your highs. You’re on the cusp of falling apart, arching into him to close the gap between your bodies. 

“Wanna cum inside you. Can I?” Yunho grunts. 

“Yes yes, please. Fill me up, Yun, want all of you.” 

He continues to abuse your cunt, pounding into you like his life depended on it. You sob, clamping your walls around him. He freezes, suddenly spilling into you. “Come on, baby, cum on my cock.” The warmth of his release and his words coax your orgasm, the fluttering of your cunt milking every single drop from him that it can. Even with his dick plugging you up, you can feel it dripping out of you and onto the sheets below. 

He rocks into you languidly until you’ve calmed down enough for him to pull out. His forehead is flush on your chest, rising and falling with it, both of you so spent from the intense physical activity you engaged in. You stare up at the ceiling with heavy eyelids, carding your fingers through his hair to soothe him. 

“You meant what you said right? About this not being a one time thing.” Yunho says hesitantly, like he’s afraid of permeating the atmosphere you created. 

“I don’t think I can go home at the end of the summer and forget the way I feel for you, Yunho.” You admit out loud. There had been a constant struggle in your head over whether or not to follow your heart, but as he looks at you with those sparkly eyes of his, you know your answer. And you feel a little stupid for ever considering the counter. 

“And what exactly are those feelings?” He pushes, folding his hands on your sternum and laying his cheek on top. You giggle, brushing his hair out of his view. As tempting as it was to divulge your theatrical journey in assessing your emotions, you’re too exhausted to stay awake. It would have to wait for another day. 

“You have the rest of the summer to find out, cowboy.”

© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost. 

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez jeong yunho #ateez yunho #ateez yunho x reader #ateez yunho smut #jeong yunho x reader #jeong yunho smut #yunho x reader #yunho smut #yunhoszn

[twyftwyt]

…you have more pieces of me than the desert has sand - Chapter 3

Pairings: Noah Sebastian × Reader

Warnings: smut 18+ (power play, unprotected sex, unresolved trauma)

Authors note: getting down and dirty in this one, but it’s all downhill from here, babes; lots of trauma to unpack, lots of unhealthy habits and unresolved issues; Noah doesn’t know how to behave properly or talk straight, like I said, or man’s never been to therapy before, he’s hurting people left and right

“Let me apologize properly, baby.”

The only way you know, I thought.

I let him lead me inside and prop me up against the wall, with my hands up in the air. He was never really the gentle, slow and soft kind and tonight was no different. His hands were gripping my whole body, from my breasts down to my hips and I could see the pure hunger in his eyes. I would lie if I didn’t say that this scenario has happened a few times before as well. Me always trying to back away from him then him finding his way back into my life by taking a shortcut, that shortcut being my bed. He was good at it and he knew it. He knew how to work me. He knew what I liked, what buttons to push to keep me on edge, which spots to cover in kisses and which - in bruises. He was manipulative, arrogant, egocentric and stubborn and he wanted what he wanted. It was always “my way or the highway” with him. I thought I’d outgrow him, I thought that maybe he was just a crush I needed to bed and then bury but one month turned into three and three turned to seven and here we were. All over each other again.

“I know I can be a dick.”

Yeah, no fucking shit.

“But you know I’m weak for you.”

His breath was hot and heavy on my face and his eyes were piercing my soul.

“You know it’s never good when we argue.”

“Then maybe we should talk things through like grownups.”

“Agreed. Fuck, you feel so good.”

And just like that I knew we weren’t gonna talk things through.

I felt his hand slide down my panties and he brushed my lips softly. I was already too wet to think about anything else and just pressed my body down onto his hand. He palmed me and let me rub myself on his left hand. It really felt good. He was a god at making me crumble and tonight he was on a mission to scatter me in pieces.

“You want a finger inside?”

I moaned at the thought.

“Or two..”

Before I could answer or even nod, his middle finger was circling my entrance.

“Noah, please. Don’t tease..” I pleaded.

“But you’re so cute when you beg, baby.”

His cheshire cat smile spread as he was positioning two of his fingers at my center. Never giving me what I wanted from the first try. Always had to beg for it. And he loved knowing that he had that kind of control over me. He thrived on it.

I felt his fingers slip inside and my brain got all foggy from the instant fulfillment.

“I’ll never get tired of this. Look at yourself.”

He pushed me in front of him and propped me in front of my mirror that was placed right next to the door. His left hand found its place around my neck whilst his other was finding its way back to my folds. My head fell back on his shoulder and I looked up at him, my nosye tickling his chin. He was all worked up, muscles tense around me, jaw clenched and eyes dark with desire. And fuck me, he looked more handsome than ever.

“Look at yourself, not me.” his hand straightened my jaw

Seeing myself so tightly wrapped around him, engulfed in his energy made me roll my eyes back. It felt other-worldly every time. And it was no different tonight. I had already forgotten everything I was mad at him for and existed only in this moment, here, in his embrace.

“Please, Noah…” I was no longer able to form coherent sentences and my climax was near.

“Please what?”

“Please..”

I felt his fingers curl inside me again and I pressed down harder, my knees giving in and my whole body shaking. I gripped his arms to steady myself better but I could no longer see what was happening around me. It was all a haze.

“Good girl. That’s it, there you go.” his soft, breathy voice was humming in my hair

Before I could even compose myself I heard him unbuckle his pants and let them fall down to the floor along with his boxers.

“Put your hands on that stand.”

And I obeyed. I saw his animalistic expression when I looked in the mirror and I knew there was no point in arguing. He could have me in all the ways he wanted and I would oblige.

His hand slipped between my cheeks and he slapped my center hard. I felt my knees give in again and cried out in pain. He was harsh when he propped my ass against his erection and rubbed himself in between my folds.

“Do you accept my apology?”

The tip of his cock slipped inside and my head fell forward.

“Is this good enough of a sorry?”

Half of his length disappeared inside me.

“Am I forgiven?”

His whole body slammed into mine and his wet lips stuck to the back of my head. In my heart of hearts I knew this was never going to be enough. Sex could never fix all our problems. It only worked for a little while.

“No, but you can fuck your way into my forgiveness.”

His laugh echoed down the hallway and I felt him move inside me. He wasn’t being gentle with me. His body continued slamming against my skin and I knew I was going to have bruises by the time I wake up tomorrow.

“I can do that.”

And you can do it good, I thought.

His hands were gripping me at both sides and my hair was already sticking to my face from all the sweat. He still had his hoodie on and my shirt was half raised, exposing my breasts. We looked a hot mess. And we were. And my roommate was sleeping in the bedroom upstairs but I could care less about it right now.

He pulled out and I felt the sudden emptiness, until he spun me around and lifted me off the ground, burying himself deep inside of me again. Moving through the living room without pulling out once, he put me on the kitchen counter and took his hoodie off. My hands immediately found their place on his chest, scratching him down to his belly.

“I can live here.”

And I’d let him. I’d let him live inside me. No one fit the way he did, he was right.

He took my legs and lifted them until they were resting on both sides of his shoulders and I let the rest of my body lay down on the counter top. His cock was slamming in and outside of me and I couldn’t make out dreams from reality. My eyes were glued to his and the only time he took them off was to spit on my exposed center.

“Spit in my mouth.” I blurted out in the haze

I think I’ve never seen a more sadistic smile creep up his face. He lifted me off the counter and grabbed me by the hair.

“You know why we’re never gonna get out of this? Because we’re fucked up and disgusting together. Open your mouth for me.”

His left hand was massaging my clit while his cock was buried deep inside me and his right hand was pulling my hair back. My mouth fell open and I felt the saliva coat my tongue.

“Swallow like the good girl I know you are.”

“Noah..”

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

His spit covered my mouth again and ran down my chin this time. He was picking up his speed and the friction of our skin was creating so much noise, I’m sure people could hear us from miles away.

“Cum inside. Please.”

His face changed the moment I said it out loud. He’d never done it before even though I was on the pill ever since we started seeing each other. I knew I was probably going to regret this later but I didn’t care now. And neither did he, by the way his movements changed. They were more rapid now. His hands gripping my hips closer to his own. His head fell back and the silent moan he was otherwise letting out now turned into a full groan. He was feral and he was leaving bruises everywhere around my body.

“Fuuuuck…fuck that feels good. Fuck.”

I felt him twitch and spill inside of me and my walls tightened around him.

He was spent and so was I. The moment he lifted me off the counter to carry me back into my room, I felt the weight of the whole day hit my body. We didn’t even shower, our clothes scattered around the whole house. I’d have to think of excuses tomorrow. Tonight was for bad decisions. And my bad decisions was curling up against my back, pulling me into him.

We were never gonna make it out of this relationship whole. Or the same. Or even remotely close. And I was afraid of all the things we could do to each other. We were both spiraling and downfall was near, I could feel it.

But we didn’t feel so bad. Rather just.. broken.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #noah sebastian fic

[noellie-writes217]

Unemployed and Uneducated

Summary: Peter is desperate for a job after months of living on his own

Warnings: none really, just a few mentions of loneliness and a lost relative

“Peter Parker?” A woman from the unemployment office calls into an overall dejected lobby. Peter looks up from holding his head in his hands as his knee bounces anxiously.

The same few thoughts flood his brain:

* I’m pathetic

* I can’t do this much longer

* I can’t do anything

* I need help

- Who the hell could I ask?

- I’m fucking alone!

- I couldn’t save May, who else can’t I save?

* I am so fucked in the head

- Lost everyone

1. First my parents

2. Ben

3. Tony

4. May

5. Everyone else, including my best friend, my doppelgängers, and of course, the love of my life

Man this shit is gonna give me a complex

* I am so depressed

- I should get medication

- I can’t afford medication

- That’s why I’m at a fucking unemployment agency

* And I’m back to being pathetic

“Here,” Peter pushes away all of those invasive thoughts for the next fifteen minutes in that woman’s office. She types his name into her computer and pushes her glasses up, as if that will change the astonishing lack of… anything.

Peter sits there, awkwardly, eyes darting around the room as if he has no clue about what she’s seeing— not seeing on that screen.

“I’m sorry,” she starts, “I think we’ll just have to “build your resume on print.” The red haired middle aged—Gina, Peter reads the name on the plaque on her desk— grabs a pen and some paper.

“So where did you graduate?”

“Oh, I uh… I had to, uh… dropout…?”

Gina nods and writes something down on the paper. She kinda reminds Peter of a glorified guidance counselor… but maybe a little meaner. “Look Peter, I’m not gonna lie to you, this isn’t looking good for you. Without a GED and a diploma shits gonna get real difficult. I seriously recommend you getting that GED. I can’t give you some entry level jobs to start until you get that degree.”

Now it’s Peter’s turn to nod.

“So tell me about what you like to do.”

‘Apparently, I like to self sabotage a lot.’ He filters himself so he doesn’t projectile word-vomit all over this stranger’s office.

“I wanted to be an engineer. I had my sights set on MIT before I had to drop out.”

———

Trying to think of a time before a traumatic event is extremely difficult. A victim of rape can be triggered by something that once was innocent, like a lemonade stand; a son who used to be pushed by his father on the football field might not be able to play football ever again after they stop talking to their father; a victim of domestic violence might not be able to respond to sudden movements from their partners the same way. And for all of those people, looking back on their memories before the abuse might be difficult to do with a totally unbiased opinion.

Something’s you never forget, like the way Aunt May felt in Peter’s arms just before she died. Or the words she spoke in those final moments, the same words his uncle Ben said when he died.

‘Nothing will ever be the same.’

Peter can’t afford flowers for May’s grave, but he still visits her grave three times a week on average, no less than two in that span.

And that’s where he is right now. Sitting across from her grave stone with his journal between the hedge and him.

“So I’m still looking for a job, and I haven’t really had time to make friends, but it’ll get better soon…” as soon as he feels a tear fall down his right cheek, he sniffles, blinks. And uses his sleeve to wipe it all away.

“Good God, May. Why didn’t you tell me it’d be so hard to make it on my own?” He chuckled somberly, the same way anyone would when they were trying to hide their emotions.

“I don’t want to keep going.” He cries. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can.” A familiar, yet unfamiliar voice says from behind him. “She’d want you to.”

It’s Happy.

Peter closes the journal and stands up as fast as possible for him.

“Sorry,” Happy starts, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

Peter hides his face and can’t even bring himself to self to glance at Happy even by accident, “No no, don’t worry about it. It’s fine. I should probably leave anyways.” He starts to step away but Happy takes hold of his jacket sleeve.

“Wait, let me take you to get something to eat,” He smiles, “please. My treat.

Tom takes a moment to consider the offer. The most surprising thing about his moment of hesitation is the fact that he thought about saying no.

“Why would you want to take a stranger out to eat?” He asks.

“I don’t know. You just remind me of someone that I can’t quite place.”

Peter smiles with a glint of hope in his eyes.

— — —

“So,” Happy starts as Peter munches on his cheeseburger, “what’s a young kid like you doing visiting someone’s grave instead of going to school?”

Peter puts down the burger, “I had to drop out actually.” Happy leans back on the booth bench.

“It’s not drugs or anything,” Peter reassures the older man, “I just don’t have the money for anything and I need to earn money for rent.”

“So was May helping you with that before she died?” Happy asks.

Peter debates being forthcoming about his past, but decides against it because he doesn’t have the strength anymore. He lost that at the Statue of Liberty.

“Yeah. My parents died and she always managed to find someway to help me.” Peter smiled.

“I was her boyfriend,” Happy begins, “she never mentioned you. Peter, are you hiding something?” Peter gets a l little nervous.

“I went to the soup kitchen after school. She helped so many that she probably had no idea the effect she had on me.” He covers his ass.

Happy is still suspicious but doesn’t push. “Well, Peter, you seem like a good kid. I’m sure everything will work out eventually.”

“Thank you, Mr. Hogan.”

“So where’s the first place on your list?” He asks.

“What?”

“You said you’re looking for a job, tell me where you’re looking and I can give you a ride.”

“Stormy’s Autobody.”

#tom holland smut #peter parker angst #spiderman no way home #spiderman nwh #spiderman x black cat #spiderman #tasm spiderman #black cat #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #peter parker #harrison osterfield #haz osterfield

[persephones-poet-blog]

OFMD Season Timeline

(Obvi season 2 spoilers)

TL; DR: there’s like a month in between episode 5 and 6.

This ended up being a little longer than I planned but there’s pics you can stare at longingly, so that helps, right?

I’ve seen a lot of people assuming that each episode of the show is like the next day and so Stede and Ed having sex would have happened like a day after they agreed to go slow.

But I think it had to have been at least a a couple of weeks and here’s why:

Remember how Ed had to wear the bag (and collar) of shame until people felt comfortable around him?

In episode 6 Ed is back in his regular clothes and everyone seems much more comfortable around him. When Jim and Frenchie approach him and Stede about the party, they even greet them as “captains” (plural), which I sincerely doubt they would have done if they still hated him.

Additionally when Ed and Stede walk into the party, everyone greets them both with drinks and happiness. The animosity, jumpiness, and fear seem to have been resolved or put aside.

This wouldn’t have happened in a short period after everything the crew went through. I know Olu, Jim and Archie were more chill about his return later in episode 5, but it wasn’t the friendliness and camaraderie we see here.

I take episode 6 to have happened at least 1-2 weeks, if not longer after 5. Personally I don’t think I’d get over someone trying to kill me that quickly, but hey, I’m not a pirate.

Additionally, let’s talk about our favorite unicorn for a second:

This is Izzy’s scar in episodes 5 and then 7 (taking place the day after 6)

Waaaaaaay too healed for just a day or even 2. I’ve had numerous surgeries. My scars from surgery 3 weeks ago haven’t even shown that level of improvement. I get Unicorns are magical, but he isn’t Buttons.

Additionally, the way Izzy is so relaxed around Ed… no way has it only been a day. He just got his leg amputated, what like a week before 5? He shouldn’t even be walking on his unicorn leg at that point (but we will ignore that because he and the leg are beautiful). The scene with Izzy and Ed is calm and bitchy in the way you are with siblings and old friends when you get over a small fight. I feel like it might take a little longer to forgive or even be in the presence of the person who tortured you and your crew and took your leg (among other things).

He also tells Stede that he sees how good he and Ed are for each other. That it took a long time to realize it but he does. When did he realize this? In the middle of a storm they thought would kill them? While he was passed out during an amputation? During his bender in episode 4?

That’s all me projecting, I know. Let’s be honest that’s what meta posts like these are a lot of the time (but god I love them).

The only episodes that seem to be exactly a day apart are 3, 4, and 5. And obviously 6 and 7.

So TL; DR: there’s like a month in between episode 5 and 6.

Any additional timeline things you have for season 1 or 2 are great!

Edit: someone pointed out Pete and Lucius’ 24 hour sex spree after getting engaged and this shoots my theory, but maybe they’ve done multiple sprees?

Idk the relationships between all of them are so much more comfortable now and too quickly if it really has been only a day. It kind of feels like we’re missing an episode in between 5 & 6 that would have transitioned everything more smoothly. I still blame this entirely on HBO cutting 2 episodes and not on the writers who were trying to work with what they had.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #renew our flag means death #renew as a crew #our flag means death season 2 #ofmd writers are incredible #David Jenkins I love your lack of historical accuracy and time blindness

[1ivinqdeadqir1]

SHADES OF COOL: Part III

Part Three: La Familia es todo

previously chapters: 1 2

finally, chapter 3 as promised!! I hope you guys enjoy, i need to actually start planning the chapters but... this one is kinda cute at points, lots of fluff... for now!!!

Word Count: 6.5k (oooof they're getting longer haha)

WARNING: Mentions of stalking, parents arguing, Hector being a weird uncle that likes to dunk his nephews underwater... the usual

Friday: 

Your (first person) POV: 

“Are you alright?”

My coworker, Jen, taps me on the shoulder. Her manicured nails are all I can focus on for a few seconds, yet I manage to shake it off and nod before going back to what I’d been doing- staring blankly at my shoes, cigarette between my fingers. 

“Yeah, I guess, just thinking”

Just thinking. A half lie, in retrospect. Over the last few nights, I’ve been unable to sleep- someone somewhere has taken it upon themselves to call at random, going out of their way to make me panic. The idea that the calls are coming from a couple of middle schoolers crossed my mind, yet there was no way for any children to access my number. There wasn’t a pattern or reason for the silence on the other end of the call either, it seemed. I haven’t told anyone about the strange phone calls, not yet, anyway.

As a small child, teachers had told my parents that I was an ‘overthinker,’ and for a while, I figured that was a good thing. Overthinking in itself couldn’t possibly be harmful, In what world would thinking lead to any kind of misfortune? All the grown-ups told you to think about all sorts of things: maths, English, whether or not to say please and thank you. The sky was the limit, supposedly. Now, after twenty-two years I've come to terms with the fact that everything they’d ever said about overthinking being positive, was just bullshit.

“Well, seems like you’re thinking a lot, anything in particular?” Jen leans in like she’s expecting some sort of catastrophic news, something to give the day a bit of a buzz.

In New Mexican daylight, the cloud of smoke that’d left my lungs looked more like steam as I laughed, awkwardly, yet in a way I knew wouldn’t upset her, “no, it's nothing” a lie. “Just getting ahead of myself I guess”

Her lips formed an O as she nodded, eyes wide and arms now folded tight across her chest, “is it a boy?” god, ‘boys.’ why not ‘men’, Jenny? I’m only a year younger than you, for fuck sake. 

“No no no no” she quirked a brow, my cheeks began to grow hot and the sun’s brilliant UV rays hadn’t helped make it any less obvious despite the lies and attempts to hide the truth.

Ever since that meal at El Michocano, we’d talked constantly - or whenever either of us was available - and it felt fantastic. Supposedly, Lalo wasn’t going to be in Albuquerque for long and was only here to ensure things ‘up north’ was running smoothly, to check whether or not Hector’s guys had the restaurant in good shape. Though whenever driving home, past the eatery, I had to hold back the urge to park up, walk in and say hi. 

“Alright,” Jen hummed, stubbing out her cigarette as I did. 

-------------

It’d gotten to noon, and the lukewarm coffee in my mug had barely managed to keep me sitting upright behind the front desk as I thought about all the other more interesting things I could be doing. Whoever had taken last night's shift had left me to file the doctor's notices. The ones that tell us what medications a person takes and when they should take them. The files changed whenever a medical review was conducted, which means they have to be updated semi-regularly. 

I don’t mind office work, usually, if it has variety. The hours go by and feel like days, the days feel like months and months, years. Which doesn’t help.

I’d rather be on my feet doing something right now. Whenever I have a moment to myself, I drift off only to be woken again by the shuffling of papers or the ring of the phone. I want to cry out of frustration, but thankfully there are only 30 minutes left before someone else takes over.

------------

GENERAL POV:  

You work for the 30, sorting through the documentation, signing visitors in, and asking how they are to be polite. Not only because the lack of conversation makes the already ear-piercing silence louder, but because you can’t help but feel a tad lonely. You’d much rather be getting the dinners ready in the kitchen with the others, yet, you were always the one left to suffer until the clock chimed. 

At half twelve you get up, take your things and head to the staff room; grabbing a flask from your locker that you then fill with fresh warm coffee. Straight, black, with no creamer but a touch of sugar to rid the drink of it’s initial bitterness. As you sit on the couch, by the window, you almost feel at peace. You look out at the cloudless blue sky, hills in the distance and debate whether you should go on a walk later, once you’ve rested up.

You decide against it, instead choosing to drink your coffee and play ‘snake’ on your flip phone. Lalo hadn’t messaged you for a few days, you figured he was busy and hadn’t let the fact he was quiet phase you at all. Though, you were beginning to miss him the tiniest bit. Outside of work you’d only ever interact with a few close friends and the few family members you had left living locally. Grandma and Grandpa often invited you over for dinners, asking how everything at work had been and if there was anything interesting going on in your life; you always gave the same answer. Despite the love you had for your job, the regularity and routine were repetitive and you had actually mentioned it to the higher-ups to see if they could do anything about it. They hadn’t gotten back to you yet, a message in its own right. 

Your breaks were an hour long, yet you wished for longer as without realising you’d again fallen asleep where you sat- much to the dismay of a few coworkers that stood by the countertops. 

“Jesus, she looks like shit” 

“Maybe she’s on something, doped up like Ms Smith was a few days ago… that’d be fuckin’ ironic, don’t you think?”

A laugh came from the side of the room, you stir, and the phone in your lap fell to the floor. 

“I don't think you know what the word ‘irony’ means and how to use it… I think you just mean funny.”

By the time the break was over, and one of the workers manages to rouse you from your slumber, your coffee had been reduced to dishwater. You yawned, placing the mug down on the short-legged table a few feet away from where you sat. Straightening out your uniform, you smile faintly, remembering that fortunately, your time at the desk was up for today… no one liked desk duty unless Marjorie had organized the files overnight.

You reach to pick up the flip phone and head out into the common area where residents sit on either couches, loveseats or regular chairs. Most of them were doing their own thing, knitting was (of course) popular alongside reading, yet idle conversation flowed aplenty. Personally, you liked to read and watch tv, or maybe supervise the occasional card game. 

“Good Afternoon, Hector” you nod in his direction, smiling as his dark eyes follow you across the room. You decide to sit with Pearl and Lola, two women that often stuck to themselves- hardly letting strangers into conversations. 

“You know, Pearly, it’d be a lot easier to- ”

The old woman looks up, blue eyes wide as a grin crosses her cheeks. She motions for you to sit, and you oblige willingly. “Afternoon, ladies” you look at what they’re doing, knitting squares for a blanket of some sort, one where all the different patterns will be joined together upon completion.

“Afternoon, dear” 

You nod, pulling back a chair and carefully sitting, grabbing a ball of yarn and some knitting needles from a plastic wallet. Your grandma had taught you how to knit, she’d sit with you as a child on her lap and instruct with her soft-spoken voice. The memory warmed you, you wished to go back to a time like that. When nothing really mattered and everything was trivial. Your childhood felt rushed compared to that of your peers, with your parents constantly arguing it was hard not to grow up earlier than others. Most of your classmates had normal lives, with normal parents that loved each other. Sure, they fought but from what you gathered the arguments would only last an hour or so, whereby they’d apologize and make up. In your head, you wondered why you’d never been able to have that, what you could’ve possibly done to deserve such a rough childhood. Grandma said that it hadn’t anything to do with you, though on occasion it sure felt like it. 

“Sweetie, are you alright?” Pearl's hoarse voice breaks you from your memory, and you nod again. 

“Yeah, just thinking is’ all… memories and all that” you smile at the old lady who returns the gesture, her hands moving quickly, knitting perfectly without even having to look down for a second to see what was going on. 

------------

Simon (the man who was currently working the front desk)  calls your name, and you look up at him now standing beside you. At this point, you’d managed to make a start on a decent enough scarf - One to fit a toddler perhaps- and get into a rhythm similar to that of Pearl and Lola’s.

“Yeah?” Your lips curve up sweetly at the man, now feeling more awake than you had earlier. He swallows thickly, his right hand in his pocket as the left cups the nape of his neck. A bead of sweat falls from his brow, and you subconsciously tilt your head to the side as it does. 

“There’s a man here to see you, Lalo Salamanca, I think he’s related to Hector” 

You scoff, “well no, Sherlock, he’s related to the other Hector Salamanca that lives here” 

Pearl grimaces and Lola simply purses her lips together as if she’d just placed a sour candy in her mouth. Simon's brow furrows and his posture stiffens, he’s standing taller than he had been and his left hand had dropped to the side. You laugh, quietly, so as to not disturb anyone else in the room. 

“I’m only kidding, Si’, I’ll be right out” 

The man nods, still looking rather uncomfortable as he shuffles out of the room and into the lobby. Pearl and Lola chat with one another as you begin to pack everything you’ve used up. “Take care of that for me, ladies. I’ll finish it later on once I’m done outside” 

Pearl acknowledged your request with a wave of her hand, Lola busying herself with a row she’d accidentally messed up. 

Now halfway across the room, you stop by a window to straighten out your outfit and brush your fingers through your hair. You’d undoubtedly look more worn than the last time you’d seen him in person, probably a little older because of that. Fucking private line calls. 

Just… smile, you tell yourself over and over again.

Stepping out into the hall, you clasp your hands together “Mr Salamanca, a pleasure to see you again”. You hated formalities as much as the next person, but you’d get a hit to the nose if someone were to hear you addressing a resident's family member so casually. You weren’t sure why that was a rule, perhaps because some could interpret that as special treatment, whilst others may just deem it inappropriate considering. 

He opens out his arms dramatically, calling your name “been a while hm? I thought something had happened to my favourite worker.” You chuckle under your breath, nervously, as Simon awkwardly shuffles behind the desk watching your interaction. 

“It has I’m afraid, I’ve been busy” that was a half lie, though you imagined he could simply infer that based on how tired you looked compared to the last time you’d spoken. “Family stuff as well, you know how it is haha…” that part was true, your mother had been visiting a lot more recently and she’d made a fuss about it, talking about your father and how he’d been drinking himself into an almost comatose state. She was being theatrical, as always. Your dad didn't drink that much, though you knew he'd been going to the local bar more frequently, you had a school friend that worked there. 

Lalo nods, knowingly, as if he's aware “Aye, but it's good you're there for them” you shrug, picking at your sleeves as your cheeks grow warmer. You wished Simon would just sit and get back to work. Why did he have to stand like an idiot? “La Familia es todo, no?”

You nod, your hands now clasped at your front, it was nice to see him- he looked gorgeous, the cotton sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows. You loved how flamboyant his clothes were. “That's right”, he grins and slaps a hand on the desk countertop, making Simon jump.

“Anyway, are you on your break yet? I think we should go out somewhere right now”

You swallow and glance around, fingers running through your hair as Lalo waits for an answer. Simon shuffles again before sitting down, getting back to whatever he had been doing before lalo entered. “I- wait a second” you press a hand to his arm and usher him to a vacant hallway, far enough from the desk so Simon wouldn't hear.

“I had my break about an hour ago, aren’t you here to see your uncle?”

At your question, he laughs whilst brushing some of your hair back with his hand. His smile was so… adorable. Whenever his dark eyes slightly scrunched and his cheeks lifted you wanted to just pinch them hard. “Bebita, I visited my uncle yesterday, you must’ve been on a break then… I would’ve said hi, but..” he sighed, you couldn’t help but watch his chest as it rose and fell, “work, it’s a pain in the neck but I’m heading home soon and quite a few things have happened since we last saw each other..” he looks down at his feet for a split second, as if he were thinking. For an instant, you have the urge to reach out and take his hand in your own. 

You go to open your lips to speak, but he cuts you off enthusiastically in a breath. “so, I figured I'd give myself the day off, and have Nachito man the ship for a few hours without me!”

“So… you want me to hang out with you today while you’re on your day off?”

“Exactamente, mi Amor, how long is the remainder of your shift?” he touches your shoulder, and you feel the rough texture of his palm through your linen work blouse. 

“Well, I finish at 9:30 tonight… I’m taking over a friend’s shift” Jen, as always, was going partying with her boyfriend- asking, no, pleading with you to take over the few hours she’d miss.

“I’m sure you can skip this one, besides, you won’t get into trouble for leaving a shift that isn’t yours, right?”

You shrug, unsure. What he says makes sense, you really had stuck your neck out for Jennifer again- no one would notice if you left, right? You could talk to Simon about it if he had a problem, though based on how he’d acted around Lalo you doubt that he will say anything. 

“I guess… I haven’t got any other clothes but these, though”

Lalo hums, “That doesn’t matter, Princesa, we’re not going anywhere special tonight”

You blush, wondering what on earth he meant by that. Did he mean there’d be other nights out? Or was he just talking generally? The silence between you is broken by him, as he begins to walk toward the exit.

“Wait, i-” you flush, straightening out your hair “can you wait for me outside? I’m gonna go grab my things from the break room”

Lalo chuckles and nods, lips pursed together tight as you pace into the staff room, making a b-line toward your locker.

You don’t have much with you- a shoulder bag and a knee-length trench coat. In your bag, you kept all the necessities, though always managed to cram a book in there for good measure. Unfortunately,  the count of monte Cristo took up most of the room, though it was invigorating and despite the added strain to your shoulder you didn’t mind carrying it with you.

You slipped into your jacket, letting it swing open as you quickly combed your hair and applied strawberry-flavoured lip balm. Once ready, you checked the time on your phone and walked back out into the hallway, shoes thumping against the tiles. Simon looked up as you pulled the door, clearing his throat.

“Oh- could you sign me out at 6:30 tonight, Si? I’ll buy you breakfast on Monday if you like. eggs and bacon from Loyola’s, right?” practically out of breath, your lips curve up when you smile at him warmly, lashes fluttering as he nodded. 

“Thanks a bunch!” the warmth of your cheeks leaves as you rush outside, eyes scanning the parking lot, before eventually landing on Lalo. He was leaning against the passenger side, his left arm slung across the side of the car’s roof, his right close to his front as he glanced down at his phone.

You try your best to hold back the foolish smile that’d been begging to tug at either corner of your lips for the last few seconds, and make a few quick steps toward him, hands behind your back once you meet his side. 

“Hello, miss me?” you teased, poking his shoulder. He shrugged his broad shoulders and smirked, stepping aside.

“Like a desert misses the rain”

You laugh a little, clutching the worn leather strap of your bag as he opens the door, motioning for you to enter with his tattooed arm. “ after you”

Sliding inside, you roll your back against the leather seat, wishing your car was as comfortable as this. Lalo makes his way around the front once you’re buckled up, pulling himself into the driver's side. You glance his way, staring for a moment, watching as he snakes the seat belt across his body. The way his biceps contract and relax, and his shirt tightens around the muscle-

“You know, it’s rude to stare, right?” 

You look away, down at your knees as he laughs, the engine purrs to life and the sound of upbeat Latin music reverberates against the metal frame, which he then turns down a tad.

“I-” you hesitate, picking at loose threads on your shirt, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” 

He huffs, pointedly at your discomfiture, as he begins to reverse from his spot. You redden when he places an arm against the back of your seat, pivoting his torso to look through the rearview.

“I’ll have to come back later to pick up my car, you know…”

He smiles down at you, faintly. “Don’t worry about it, you don’t work weekends, right?”

“Well, no, but I might need my car tomorrow…”

Lalo hums and you keep your eyes pinned on him, though occasionally look out past the windscreen “I’ll come with you to pick it up” he glances over your frame as you move against the seat, knees pointing in his direction as your small hands trace across the leather’s texture. “Alright, that sounds alright”

------------

The car ride is reasonably peaceful, the sound of the music drones as you perch your elbow on the window frame and lean against your palm. You tap your feet along to the music, loving the rhythmic quality. It made you want to dance.

Lalo took notice at a red light, smiling to himself as you continued to pat your foot against the interior carpet, your fingers now drumming against your leg to the beat. It looked like you were playing an invisible piano. “Like the music then, Princesa?”

You turn to face him, eyes half-lidded. The low vibration of the car had slowly been lulling you, the fatigue from earlier caught up. “Yeah, it’s nice… hey, can we go for a walk in the park and get some ice cream?” you’d been craving the sweet treat since last night, when you’d actually been in a similar position to now, driving home past a small ice cream shop you adored as a kid.

He furrowed his brows, hitting his fingers against the car wheel as you leaned in without realising; he hadn’t actually made a plan of where to take you, he didn’t really know many good places around here, only the ones Ignacio had recommended. “Sure, what park?”

“There's a nice park a few minutes from here- it has a lot of well-kept flowerbeds and a pond”

“Wow” he draws out the word, “sounds like a… pretty average park, querida”

You frown, digging through your bag to whip out your flip phone, “it's nice, you probably haven’t been there yet is all.” he stops for a moment, dark eyes meeting your own as he scoffs, playfully.

“I’m only playing, querida.” his voice is low, and his accent lingers on his words as he speaks. You love it, he’s gorgeous and you don’t think you’ve ever been in the presence of a man as perfect as him. 

You scowl, brows creasing as your hands move to place your phone back in your bag, he matches your stare and your smile. Laughing, he continues to drive much to the delight of the man sitting behind his Chevy Monte Carlo. 

“This almost seems too good to be true” you whisper to yourself, still leaning against the edge of the window as Lalo pulls next to the park, the green gate framing it lined with bunting and art projects kids from the local schools had made. 

Back when you started working at casa tranquila you’d come here at the end of the day and take a walk around the small pond. You weren’t sure why you did, you could’ve just driven straight home, but you didn’t.

You’re pulled from the memory by Lalo when he swings the door open and steps out, the sound of gravel crunching beneath his feet leads you to unhook your belt and smile as he rounds to your side.

The older man reaches out for you to take his hand and you do with as much grace as you’re able to muster up. “Thanks, I've been a bit… tired lately”

He quirks a brow and you huff, straightening out your outfit and tucking your locks behind your ear as he pries “tired? Work got you busier than usual I’m guessing?” he places a hand against the small of your back, leading you through the entrance. You hardly notice his touch at first, thinking it’d just been the breeze, but when you do, your cheeks warm and the hairs on your arms stand to attention. “I-” you hesitate and look down at your feet as you both take slow steps around the path panelled with strands of grass along the edge. You take your lower lip between your teeth, peering up at him. He was listening, carefully, intently like he actually valued what you were about to say. Daniel hadn’t been like that, not near the end anyway.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, chica” 

You nod, and he thinks you’re sweet when you stutter and are unable to find the right words. That changes when you reach the pond in the centre of the park, where a paddle of ducks surveys the waterfront, happily accepting breadcrumbs from a few children and their parents. You tell him how much you love birds, how great you think it is that they can fly away whenever shit gets too crazy. He makes a joke about how it must suck to be a chicken then, and you laugh sincerely for the first time today. 

You walk quickly to a bench that overlooked the park beautifully, beckoning him over. You swear you see him roll his eyes, but he does so comically and then sits beside you, legs apart with his hands knit together between them.  “You know what, I hadn’t been anticipating a trip to the park today, but its a lot nicer than what I expected… lots of kids running around and lots of,” he takes a deep breath “lots of ducks”

you tilt your head “ yeah, you haven’t seen ducks before or something?”

He snorts, shoving your knee away from him with his palm, gently. “Well obviously I have, I’m just saying, well, actually I’m making an… observation” his hands move back to where they’d been a moment ago, and you beam at him stupidly before looking back at the lake, relaxing against the wood that right now feels like the most comfortable place you’ve ever sat. 

“Lalo?”

He glances over you as you shuffle around, “Yeahhh?” 

“Tell me about Mexico, what’s it like? I’ve always wanted to visit” you rest your cheek against the ball of your wrist, hooded eyes set on his as he moves his torso to face your body.

“Well, like most places depends where you go, I guess” 

Dissatisfied with that answer, you poke his forearm “c’mon, be real with me now, what about where you grew up?”

“Wow, I feel like I’m under interrogation here, Princesa, shouldn’t I have a lawyer present?” you laugh at his joke, and he smiles, finding it funny how you have no fucking clue what he’s been up to here, what he and Ignacio have been up to, in-fact, under everyone's unsuspecting noses.

“Well,” he sighs, gesturing with his hands as he spoke “I grew up in Michoacán, where my uncle raised me and my cousins- you know Hector well enough by now, he’s… macho,” you nod, showing him you’re listening as he talks enthusiastically about his family. It warms your heart, and he hates the way you look at him, that innocence in your eyes. He hates it but fucking loves it. “Oh god, you have no idea, Mija, you should’ve seen him when he was well,” he claps his hands together, startling you for a moment.

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, oh god when we were kids, I talked back to him - I was a… cocky like that, as a kid,” you giggle, muttering a ‘yes’, egging him on to continue the story, and he does so with as much energy as before.  “He dunked my head underwater, like fully in there and.. Oh god you’ll love this” he laughs at the memory, and so far you have no idea what to expect. Seeing Hector immobile in his wheelchair, it was hard to imagine him young looking after his nephews, but even harder to imagine the elder dunking a child…

“ he held me there for a minute, I thrashed around for a bit, gave him a show and then went as stiff as a board, and uncle hector he- he grabs me by my shoulders and yanks me out of the water basin,” he places his hands on your shoulders, shaking you slowly as if to imitate young Hector.

“And fully panics, absolutely craps his pants- whilst I'm there playing dead, he goes to call for help when i splash him and run off into the garden” you can’t help but laugh with him as he continues on, telling you how Hector went all red like a tomato- so embarrassed by his mistake, how he had been fooled by a 7-year-old Lalo. The way he moves his arms and gestures as he talks, the enthusiasm and performative aspect of his personality gave you butterflies, hearing him talk about his family, he really loved them. He struck you as the type of guy that’d move heaven and earth for people he cared about. 

“Oh god, Lalo, your uncle and my grandpa would get along… swimmingly”

He breathes out, leaning back against the bench as you talk “yeah, maybe” he admired your optimism, how you thought someone like Hector would get along with your gramps- the naivety of your 22-year-old mind. The fact you hadn’t a clue what he did was hilarious, he wondered whether or not you were like this with all the men you went out with. 

“So, tell me about your childhood then, querida” 

You freeze and purse your lips together, the point of your shoes drawing loose circles in the dirt path.

“Well uh, my parents argued a lot when I was a kid, so I spent a lot of my time with my grandparents… they’re nice…pretty much raised me, honestly.” you pause again, looking at the pond remembering all the arguments you had to listen to, you understood nothing at the time but looking back on it now in retrospect was frightening. “There were good times, I think, I just can’t remember them very well…”

Lalo glances at you, his expression unreadable as he places a hand on your shoulder- patting twice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry” 

You laugh and stand up from the seat, shaking your head “no, don’t worry about it! It's fine, honestly, shit happens” you wondered why he hadn’t mentioned his own parents, but refrain from prodding that wound open. 

“Well on that note, shall we head to that parlour now? I don’t know about you but ever since you mentioned it in the car…”  he stands up and begins to walk around the other side of the pond, close to the railing. You take a few quick steps after him, hands in your pockets as you both make your way to the exit.

------------

The car ride from the parlour is quiet, and you shuffle your feet against the carpeted floor, knee bouncing as Lalo keeps his eyes on the road. Unfortunately, the parlour was closed. They shut early on Fridays according to the sign in the window, much to your dismay. Lalo wasn’t too bothered about the lack of ice cream, he wasn’t really a big fan though he’d been wanting to get around whilst he was here, maybe try a few new things- like rocky road, whatever the hell that was. At the change of plans, he figured he’d just drive around for a bit, maybe go and get something to eat.

You as of now rest against the window, snoring lightly. Fast asleep. 

It was amusing, though made sense. You looked exhausted. 

It took him 30 minutes to find your place without direction when it could’ve taken 15, yet he hadn’t a problem with driving around. besides, he had nothing better to do. Ignacio had last called him at 12, giving him some information on Fring. He’d make sense of it later, probably had something to do with Werner Zeigler and that ice box he was supposedly building. 

As he parked up beside your house, your phone started to ring, loud- rousing you from your sleep. He watched as you groaned and pulled the flip from your bag. It looked a lot older from where he sat, the bag. The leather was worn and one of the metal clasps had fallen off. He saw the book popping out, how many do you have in this little house of yours, and where do you keep them?

“God, not this again…” 

He tilts his head, and you whine into your palm- looking like you were going to start crying. You muttered something beneath your breath, but he couldn’t quite catch it in time.

“Everything okay?”

You shake your head, he doesn’t notice but his grip tightens on the wheel as you do. “Tell me” this obviously was what you’d been worried about, what you hadn’t wanted to mention at the park earlier.

“I-i keep getting these weird phone calls, there’s quiet beeps on the other end and nothing else- and when i wake up in the morning there’s all this…” you sniffle, eyes brimming with tears- you feel pathetic, crying in front of a man you hardly know “ weird stuff outside my house, I'm not crazy Lalo I swear I think someone’s stalking me- or after me, something like that, I've been getting this weird stuff for a while now and- and-”

You press your face into your hands, and he sits there unsure of what to do as you sob quietly. Your phone stops ringing for a moment. He goes to open his mouth to ask a question when it rings for a second time. The same private number. 

“Give me that,” he takes the phone from your lap, and for a split second you want to tell him to stop, but you don’t. Because you want him to protect you. 

“Hello?” when he talks this time, he doesn’t sound as sincere or friendly, actually pretty pissed off as he inhales through gritted teeth, stifles a laugh and snaps the phone shut. “Maldito cabrón… fucker hung up on me.” 

Your hands fall into your lap, and you look up at him, cheeks stained with tears. He sighs and snaps the phone in half as though it were nothing. “L-Lalo what the hell?! That’s my phone, everyone I need is on that” 

He shrugged and tossed both halves into the backseat. 

“I’ll get you a new phone,” you go to open your mouth when he cuts you off, his rough hand pressed against the back of yours “do you have any idea who it could be?”

You shake your head again, he suspects you’re lying and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to be afraid”

Your eyes flicker toward him and then back down at the hands on your lap. 

“My ex, Daniel, he was pretty weird- a pretty possessive guy and i- I don’t know if he’d go as far as stalking me but... I wouldn't be surprised, you know?” Lalo nods, asking if there’s anything he can do for you now. You lift your shoulders and let them fall, your eyes were swollen and cheeks flushed- still a little embarrassed from the meltdown.

“Can… you stay with me for a little while, please? Just so I can sleep a little” you sigh, sniffling as he squeezes your hand again “I don’t want to be alone, god knows what he’ll do if he knows I'm with another guy, maybe he’ll…”

“Listen to me, he won’t do anything to you.” 

He steps out of the car and moves to your side, helping you out similarly to how he had at the park- though this time you handled it a lot less gracefully. 

------------

It’s now 1:00 am and you’re sound asleep beside him on the sofa, you have been for a few hours, actually. He’d gotten himself comfortable and turned on this old-school black-and-white movie with cowboys and guns. The kind hector was obsessed with watching. You stir from your end of the couch, and he shifts to give you more room. The blanket draped across your frame is soft, and for a moment he finds himself running his hands across the top. Earlier in the park, he actually enjoyed your conversation, he liked when people took an outside interest in his life. People he knew, people that knew what he did would ask questions but were never really genuine about it. Their kindness was always conditional, and he sometimes wondered if he could trust anyone other than the handful of family members he had left.

He looks at his watch, 1:24, he better get going. 

Lalo reaches out, lifting the blanket up to try and get to the inside pocket of your shirt- where you had put the keys to your home upon entering. Though before he could, you sat up abruptly, your head almost hitting his as he’d been half leaning over the top of you.

“Lalo, is everything okay?” you rub your eyes, appearing so small and innocent as you do. He nods his head, yes, and you smile, taking his hands in yours. You’re half asleep and have no idea what you’re doing, but he lets you hold him like that for a second before slowly pulling back and manoeuvring off the sofa. He hears a whine, which makes him chuckle, you’re funny when you’re tired. If he could stay he’d tease you about it, but now he had some other things planned, he had texted Nacho and asked him to pick up a new phone for you, and managed to find your ex-boyfriend's full name whilst you were out.

“Querida, I have to go now”

You huff, sit up properly, and swing your legs over the side of the couch. The metal of the keys jingle against one another in your pocket as you stand, almost falling over. 

“Easy, kid” you laugh, voice hoarse with sleep as he follows you to the front door.

Your home is only on one level, there are no stairs, which for you is great. Had you been alone in a story house, you’d probably fall down the stairs or hell, maybe even fall up the stairs after seeing him to the door.

“Thank you for staying with me Lalo, you’re such a sweetheart..”

He sighs, brushing off your compliment as though he’d heard it a million times before.

“Esta Bien, my friend has gone to get you a new phone, I’ll have him bring it here tomorrow morning” he tussles your hair, you whine again and try to flatten it, still trying to make yourself look pretty for him. 

“Alright, wait uh, Lalo will I…” you swallow, and he notices your hands bunch up the fabric of your shirt, “ will I see you again, before you leave?”

You sound almost sad, and he wants to just squeeze the life out of you. How adorable. You’ve talked to him twice in person, yet somehow you still manage to get upset at the idea of him leaving…

“Of course, bebita, we can arrange something soon, no?” he opens the door and walks out, you follow him in a few small steps and grab ahold of his wrist.

“Yeah, when everything is better” you stand tall and press a kiss to his cheek, lingering there for a moment. Your lips are soft, and he wants to take your face in his hands and kiss you hard- but he doesn’t. He reminds himself you’re just a girl, a woman he met a few weeks ago as you let him leave.

He sits in the car for a few minutes after you’d locked the door, staring at your home from the curbside. Once you turn the lights off, he pushes on the gas and speeds off into the night.

Daniel, who do you think you are?

ahhh thank you so much for reading i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, if you have any suggestions for what you'd like to see happen next please let me know in the comments xx

#lalo x reader #lalo salamanca x reader #eduardo ‘lalo’ salamanca x reader #eduardo 'lalo' salamanca #better call saul x reader #tony dalton x reader #better call saul #lalo salamanca

[wildermouse]

Anything new lately? How are you?

ahh !!!

so like in life, nothing has really changed. my sister is back home for now and it’s been good hanging out with her. feel like i’ve really been bonding with my sisters this past year and it’s been nice.

i did, however, go to a Lights concert (my 7th or 8th one i think) and i held her hand (again) and it was amazing but what was even more amazing is that i dressed in a STATEMENT outfit (will post pics) and it was revealing and it was HOT and i felt GOOD and i got so hyped up by everyone even my MOM who only scolded me bc apparently i shouldn’t have been wearing any underwear with the pants i was wearing 💀💀 (pls mom they matched my top it was a good look (you’ll see)) and my friend & i went to a taphouse beforehand and got a couple drinks (i haven’t drank with anyone in SO LONG) and i got a little tipsy and we laughed SO much and it was healing and then i got two more drinks at the concert so i was feeling GOOD and i initiated conversation with this group of girls beside us and we mingled groups and i was so confident and talkative and flirty like oh my fuck i told them i was in my slut era and then my mom said she’s in hers too 💀 which they all loved and two of them at one point ran their nails across my scalp and the back of my neck and when i tell you i melted. jfc. in the middle of the club in a crowd at a concert. pls. and then i asked if anyone liked hugs bc i need a hug and this very tall hot woman volunteered and she held me dude. she fucking held me for a solid couple minutes and it was amazing. and then i hugged my sister and it made her emosh bc i don’t do that. there’s more to the night but oh my god it was just so fucking good. one of my favourite nights for sure. and the best part is i DON’T REGRET IT!! i almost always regret everything i do/say after i drink not bc i do anything bad it’s just that it makes my social anxiety fuck off so i’m more outgoing and vocal than usual. but nah, i was who i want to be. i’m growing.

i have TRAVEL PLANS !! my wifey is coming to visit at the end of next month and we’re gonna road trip!! gonna be so good i’ve been wanting to do this particular trip with her forever. then the rest of the plans are still up in the air but i’ll be going back to europe in the summer, and MAYBE in spring for a big tattoo but i’m thinking of postponing that til at least next year.

might move in w my mom spring-summer and start horseback riding again but that’s so complicated bc i’ve gotta take care of my sisters animals while she’s at work hhhh

i joined a warrior nun discord and have been making friends on there and it’s been sooo nice. i like actually have people to talk to. + the warrior nun fight is going so well and i love actually being an active part of the fight. y’all go watch warrior nun i s2g

idk like not a lot is currently happening but my mental state has been SO good since the beginning of the year. i think i was so burnt out for so long i needed last year to just.. lay down and do nothing. and it sucked, but i feel a lot better now. i feel motivated and i really wanna figure life stuff out. it’s hard bc it’s not all up to me but i’m working on it.

tomorrow is my birthday and instead of sulking away alone in my room i’m actually going out and bringing my friend with me and going to buy myself little birthday treats and getting tattoos and i reached out to people i haven’t seen in a long time and they’re hopefully joining me for board games and it’s just nice. the fact that i’m allowing myself to be happy on my birthday, to try and let myself feel worthy of others’ attention and time, to not beat myself up about wasting another year, so actually want to be seen. i think it says a lot about my mental state and i don’t remember the last time i’ve felt like this for longer than 10 minutes before the guilt sets in

so yeah. i’m good. i’m really good. or at least i’m starting to be <3

[averagepoet]

I would like to talk about How I realized that I’m aro and then about how I could’ve realized it sooner, because I never saw posts like this until I went on tiktok and when I saw those I went straight to denial because “I’ve been in like 6 relationships, I can’t be aro!” Be prepared for a long post. I will be bolding important phrases because that makes it easier for me to read, and also I’m putting a tw for a brief mention of abuse, and a cw for talk of sexual attraction.

I did start questioning my romantic orientation because of tiktok, though. It started with my one friend showing me a “put a finger down” video that I found Very relatable that ended up being about experiencing comp het. For those who don’t know, that’s compulsory heterosexuality, when someone, typically a lesbian, believes they have attraction to men because of how enforced and assumed heterosexuality and heteronormativity are in our patriarchal society. Even though I’m a guy, I was socialized as a girl growing up, so I was like “Oh my gods, do I not like men??” And for one week I let that marinate in my brain. I want to say at this time I was like 2 months into dating my best friend of three years (regular friend of 10 years) who is non-binary but generally femme presenting. So after a week of thinking, I felt like something was off. “If I felt this way about guys the whole time, did I feel that way about women? I’ve always considered my attraction equal, leading me to call myself bi for so long.” I realized then that I was in fact aro. At the time, I didn’t understand why younger me didn’t know and why I had the urge to be in relationships so much, but I knew that at least now I identified as aro. I won’t go into detail, but even tho we’re not dating anymore, my best friend and I are still besties and very close. As I type this, they’re sleeping in my room. The only reason I’m not typing this in my room is because they hogged the only outlets that are easy to access, and my phone was gonna die.

Alright now onto what the heck younger me did that could’ve been signs that I’m aro. First off, I remember actively choosing who to have a crush on in elementary and middle school (and kind of recently, too, just not so much in high school), and I would always just pick the boy I thought was the cutest or sometimes the easiest to approach. Then I found out that people could like guys AND girls in 7th grade and was like “well I’ve thought girls were pretty this whole time!!” And that’s when I started mostly getting “crushes” on my friends or people I wanted to be closer friends with. In 8th grade and into high school I started having my own hyperfixations and special interests in media (typically as a kid they were just nature documentaries and the occasional fantasy book that no one else in my grade had read) and THATS when I started letting my Pattern Recognition get the best of me. See, even tho I’m aro, I love watching media with romance. And when there’s no official out there romance in the media, I ship. So, starting in 8th grade, I would relate myself and my friends to characters or sometimes to tropes (especially the red and blue gay trope) and then Ship Myself With People. Because obviously having a crush on someone is the same as shipping your favorite pairing from your favorite show. All of this led to me getting into very superficial relationships that I ended in a month or two. That only speaks for 3 of my relationships, though. One that lasted longer was when I was 14 and I was grounded a lot, so most of the relationship was just chatting over text, which was basically just friendship but we would kiss when we saw each other in person. Another that lasted 4 and then 8 months separately was with someone I became friends with who then tried to isolate me from my friends and abused me. And the other was with my best friend, we dated from August to December, but were in a qpr right before that. We might eventually get back in a qpr; we both have things we’re working on right now, but they’re the only person I’ve ever felt fully comfortable being that close with.

One last thing, being aromantic but bisexual definitely made it hard to figure out, because I would be sexually attracted to people and then feel like shit when I “lost feeling for them” right away. This only happened like once because I hadn’t actually done anything with anyone until him but god I felt like shit. Not realizing the distinction between platonic, romantic, and sexual attraction lead to me having like a 3 year long “crush” on one of my best friends, when it was really just my brain going “you care for and trust him, and he likes being physically affectionate with you, you could totally lose your virginity to him, it would be safe.”

So yeah, if your questioning whether or not you’re aro I highly suggest using introspection and like thinking back to what you were like when you were younger. Thanks for spending your time reading this.

#recently realizing i’m aro #aros who like watching romance #aro struggles #aro stuff #aro pride #aromantic #arospec #aro positivity #aro problems #aromantic bisexual

[katierosefun]

reveal your watch and rewatch drama list

thank you @hanjuwonsupporter for the tag!! :’)) (i love exposing myself as the gremlin i really am)

currently watching 

(okay, small confession, i’m actually very behind on all of these shows, i’m mostly rewatching things right now, i just like to watch new dramas really sitting down and focusing on them, which is kinda hard when i’m doing my thesis/preparing for finals alkjsd;fasdf)

my liberation notes: god, i watched the first episode, realized that oh wait, this is really good and so deeply relatable in all the worst and best ways, i can now no longer watch this unless i am alone in my room at like bizarrely early or bizarrely late hours. i’ve only ever watched the first episode, but i def want to pick it up when i’m not buried in finals. 

twenty five twenty one: i’m actually in the middle of episode 8 right now. i’ve heard so many complaints regarding the end of the drama, which kinda makes me scared, but also, i do remember how genuinely happy the drama made me, so . . . again, i’ll probably resume it once i’m done with my next hellish 2 weeks. 

navillera: i’m only on episode 2 of this show so far, but i’m literally in love, and i’m determined to finish it this month, just because like . . . the premise of a young ballerino teaching an old man who is now taking his time to pursue his dream of doing ballet . . . ? literally, i can feel the heart strings right now. i’m already very much so feeling in love with it, and i want to take my time to digest this show, because i think that’s what it deserves. 

rewatching

beyond evil: when am i not rewatching beyond evil? but nah, this is an intentional rewatch. just from the first episode rewatch, i was just . . . so quietly in awe of how at home i felt with this show. and how at home i still feel with this show. i feel like visiting old friends again, to be honest, which is . . . oh boy. what a feeling. 

the crowned clown: oh man. i always forget how brutal the first episode is, but yes, i’m rewatching this show for the first time. i think i’m already on episode 8 or so of my rewatch, which is funny, because i think i started rewatching it for real like maybe 2 or 3 days ago . . . it’s just so good. (and also, i cry even harder for certain characters.) 

hotel del luna: tbh, i remember thinking that i wouldn’t like this show, but god, when i watched this show for the first time, i really fell in love with it. i’m loving it even more this time around, because just . . . the characters make me feel a lot of things.

watchlist

link: god, june cannot come fast enough. the trailers and the posters look super intriguing, and i do love a funny potentially romantic story but also with a dash of murder. that’s a good genre. and i think link might deliver. 

the sound of magic: my girl choi sung eun!!! the posters and the trailers genuinely look so lovely, so fantastical, and i’m getting this funny alice in wonderland but also musicals vibe for some reason. it just seems like a fun time, and also a refreshing time, so i can’t wait!! 

eve: tbh, i’m a sucker for all kinds of revenge upper-class stories. i want to see incredibly wealthy people just rip each other apart, and i think that’s kind of the vibe of this drama? just give me all the backstabbiness, the scandal, etc. it’s my guilty pleasure. 

o’pening: xx + xy: i kind of can’t wait for this drama, because a drama about a young student getting to decide on their gender through their adolescence? the trailer genuinely looks sweet and fun, and i’m really excited to see what this means for genderqueer rep in korea, because like ! ! ! i’m excited! 

tagging: anyone else who watches kdrama/anyone else who wants to hop on!!!

#tag game #thank you!! #and to think these are just the korean shows i'm looking forward to seeing this month . . . #one thing i love about kdramas is that there's always SOMETHING coming out #ofc this comes with down and upsides #but oh man i'm very excited about the lineup we have this month #but also as someone trying to focus on her studies this is TORTURE

[sweet-little-dude]

hey hello taku dear <3 gahh once again we haven’t spoken in too long :( anyways it mostly was bc there was zero tokrev brainrot in me buut there is now!! so i’m back here hehe.

also funfact i just fiNALLY started rereading tokrev and i’m doing it in french bc. idk i just felt like it?? i hate french but i’m actually practicing it now lol. and ngl i understand more than i thought i would-

anyways on saturday i watched la gardiennes de la planète (a movie abt whales) in the cinema and idk how but. like halfway through a merfolk concept just popped into my head n bc i obviously couldn’t just forget abt it i decided to write a tokrev merfolk au. so guess who’s writing their fourth moshion fic? me. idek why but they have a chokehold on me and i keep writing abt them. tho it’s fun so no complaints <3

well i insaned abt the fic a little... okay that’s a lie i wrote 3.5k of fic in the span of 22 hrs, beating my preccious record of 2.7k in 24 hrs. so okay i’m more than a little insane abt it- so so so plot and lore bc i cannot contain myself. firstly shion’s a merman n mochi is human. then it’s also a college au but mochi isn’t studying rn bc for plot conveniences his last semester of highschool n his 1st semester of college don’t line up so he’s got a few months of free time. i still hc that his parents are rich af but imo he lives alone in a rather small flat he pays with his own money as best he can bc he wants to. idk. well okay so basically what i’ve written so far: mochi finds shion injured n tangled in a fishers’ net at the beach while on a late night walk, and takes him to his flat to help. there he fills the bathtub with water for him, and gets the rope off his body. lastly, he treats his injuries. then he goes to sleep bc it’s the middle of the night- and when he wakes up again the next day, the bathtub is empty and shion’s lying on the floor in his corridor. and he suddenly has legs. bc in this au merfolk just transform into a human form into drying out (n then transform back when they’re wet enough. which is very wet) and shion my fav idiot tried to go back to the ocean on his own but got stuck in the hallway and got too dry. also bc i think that’s the most realistic version of transformation it hurts like a bitch bc i mean your tail literally splits to form two legs- well mochi patches shion up agAIN and they finally talk n exchange names bc my merfolk have diff vocal chords in ther mer form bc they commumicate like whales underwater. tho they can just. speak human language too in their human form for some reason. i mean they understand it bc they watch n listen to humans talk but i haven’t figured out why they can SPEAK it if they lile never do. anyways that’s small enough of a plot hole :) so yeah that’s basically where i’m at in my writing.

i still need to make them fall in love and do more things together and god what else but. i hope i’ll manage somehow bc this is gonna be longer than my usual works aj dgk gkfjsj i mean i’m already at 3.5k and they barely know each other. guess they’ll have to fall for each other quickly idk

but yeah. that ramble is a lot longer than planned n i already shortened it- well. i hope you enjoy merfolk aus as much as i do bc you’ll probs get more rambles abt them while i continue writing lol

and hello to you elys my love !!! so true best friend, I MISS WHEN WE USE TO TALK ALL THE TIME </3333 ig both of our tokyrev hyperfixation have kinda died down for a second- but glad urs is back!!! i might try and get back into it but my bandom hyperfixation just keeps eating me up more and more like help 😭😭

OH FRENCH!! THATZ SO FUCKIN RAD DUDE but yeah go you!!! thatz fuckin sick!

whales :3 oooh! im not too much into fantasy aus tbf but that sounds cool!! YEAHHH GIVE IT UP FOR MOSHION (their shipname is so cutie patootie.....) but yes as you should ngl they are so blorbo scrimbli i need to write for them so fucking bad my god

oh my god you literal beast WHAT damn bro already sounds like he wants to be part of your world /j im sorry i had to. but true i could mochi as being loaded ngl

eeeeeee im so excited for this !!! it sounds good i cant wait for u to finish it. but istg if u randomly turn this into an angst i will fIGHT you

#elys n taku rambles

[kyloxox]

Chauffeur (Gi-Hun x Reader Smut)

Summary: Your overprotective father hires Gi-Hun as your personal chauffeur and babysitter. As you two grow closer you help Gi-Hun with his debt and your emotions can’t be concealed much longer.

Warnings: NSFW, smut, thigh riding, blowjob, unprotected sex, facial, age gap. 

Your father was a piece of shit. He didn't abuse you or hurt you, not physically. He was emotionally exhausting and you could barely handle it any more. He was a hard ass. He didn’t know what it meant to wanna be in your w0s and live your best life. He kept you locked up in your mansion unless you were with him. It was only a few months ago you convinced him to let you leave the house by yourself with a personal chauffeur. 

You did understand it somewhat you just moved to Korea from America and you were knew to the city but you felt like this chauffeur was gonna be more like a babysitter rather than driver.

That’s when you met Gi-Hun. You stepped into the car and saw the man turn. He was older than you by many years and your father by a few. He was that good middle age that was always attractive and by god was this man attractive. The features on his face were unique and so was his smile, he seemed so happy for being a chauffeur. His had black hair that was shaped into some sort of mullet as well as that his hair looked soft, super soft. You shook your head from the thought, you can’t be thinking these things especially about a chauffeur your dad hired.

Gi-hun was surprised at your appearance too. He thought we should be driving around a younger kid not a girl in her 20s but he wasn’t upset you were beautiful with radiant hair and glossy eyes.

“Hello Miss.”He said with a cheesy smile. The smile had your lips quirk up in a small smile. 

“Hey.”

“Where would you like to go Miss.” He said turning towards the road. 

“Please you don’t have to call me that.” You say looking down at your phone to check your recent messages. 

“But your father has a strict list of rules-” He began to speak in a nervous tone, and you cut him off. 

“You’ll find out that those rules don’t matter to me.” Gi-Hun awkwardly held up an actual rule list in his hand. You blinked as you stared at it. That asshole really gave your chauffeur an actual list. You grumbled something under your breath as you stared at it. 

1. Don’t leave her alone in anywhere.

2. Don’t let her eat junk food. 

“What the fuck”

3. Drive her to places I approve of. 

Anger probably radiated off of your face as you continued down the list. Before you knew it you ripped the list in half and threw it out the window. 

“Can you believe him? What kind of dad does that? I doubt you make your daughter live under a certain list of rules.” 

“She’s doesn’t live with me actually.” He responded. Your eyes lite up.

“Really?”

“I’m divorced.” Oh fuck. He wasn't married and he was attractive and he was going to be driving you around everyday. You quickly moved up from the back seat to the front seat through the small entrance. You may have kicked Gi-Hun in the face while you tried to scramble up there but you didn't care. 

“Your father specifically instructed you sit in the back.” The man said holding up his phone that had another list on it.

“Are you kidding me?” You grabbed the phone and threw it in the back seat. 

“Hey!” He started to raise his voice you then turned to him with a violent look. “I needed that.” He said his voice quieter.

“No you don’t. I can handle myself.” You responded. 

“B-but your father.”

“But my father nothing. No offense sir but my father isn't here. And while you're with me I’m in charge of you.” You say before telling him you wanna go to the mall. He just slowly nods his head in response.

-

It had been a few months since you were introduced to Gi-Hun and you had to admit he made good company. He listened to everything you said and took you where ever you wanted. You learned a lot about him as well. You felt pity for his situation and frequently gifted him extra tips and nice meals, along with a few pay raises, in which you tricked your father into giving him. And he was very grateful. You did really enjoy spoiling him though. He deserved it. He was so different from all the men you were used to, he was down to earth and kind. You couldn't stop an attraction forming for him. He was so attractive to you with his black hair that had grays littering it. His soft face with his shy smile. 

And he very much enjoyed spending time with you. You made him feel young again and forget his depressing life. You were also very kind to him way more than he believed he deserved. He found himself growing attracted to you but he knew it wouldn’t work. You were too young and too free. He was stuck as your chauffeur and that’s all you probably saw him as. 

After a shift with you he found himself in the subway and then in the game after the first game he obviously went home. He knew he could stay there and he wouldn't ever go back. But then his mother was admitted to the hospital. He was devastated. He had gone to everyone he could for money yet there was no chances. He had a few more options. Asking your father for his pay in advance maybe, and picking up more chauffeuring jobs. But he knew it would never be enough. That’s when you walked by the small market he was sitting in front of. 

You giggled with your friends as you walked by the shop. You stopped as you made eye contact with the man sitting outside. Your smile immediately brightened when you noticed who it was, you ran from your friends to him.

“Gi-Hun! I haven’t seen you in a while” You spoke to him as you stopped walking. Your friends looked concerned but you encouraged them to go on without you. Truthfully the last time you saw Gi-Hun was a few days ago and your father said he abruptly took a few days off without much notice. 

“Y/n.” He stood up, embarrassed by his appearance. He probably looked pathetic, sitting alone in the rain drinking alcohol. “W-what are you doing walking out in the rain like this at night?” He asked you trying to distract you from what he was doing outside the small shop.

“It’s what happens when I don’t have my trusty chauffeur with me.” You giggled walking closer to where he was. He looked so good right now. He was wearing just a shirt and jeans with a jacket. But his hair was wet and out of place but it looked adorable as it framed his face.

“Would you like to sit with me?” He ordered the chair next to his, you nodded your head as you sat down. “Small world huh?” Gi-Hun says.

“We live like 10 minutes away from each other.” You laugh at him. He laughs back with his charming smile. “Where have you been? It’s been days since I’ve seen you.” You looked at him with doe eyes, they had sadness in them at the fact that you didn’t see him. While your eyes usually relaxed Gi-Hun, he tended up at the question.

“I-I-I just had some business.” He said looking down at his drink. You noticed his tense nature and felt it was best not to ask where he was.

“Mhm. Why do you look so sad?” You ask noticing his somber expression. 

“M-my ugh mother needs surgery and I don’t have the money to help her.” He explained quickly. “I just feel like a terrible son, like I've disappointed her.” You look at him with sympathy as you reaching over to grab his hand.

“GI-Hun it will be ok. You will be a good son.” You take your wallet out of your pocket and take out a random amount of cash and hand it to him. “Here take this. I’m sure it’s more than enough to cover everything and all the bills.” You speak as he looks at the amount in shock.

“N-no I can’t possibly take this. I’ll just talk to your father about working more hours-”

“Gi-Hun as much as I would love to spend more time with you, you can not make the amount you need in time. Please just take this. I don’t need it. I really don’t. I want you to have it.” 

“I can’t-” He hands the money back to you but you stand abruptly.

“If you don’t take the money I’ll never speak to you again.” You said turning away from him. 

“Y/n, y/n. I can’t I would feel too guilty.” You continue to stare at the store front ignoring him. “Y/n, stop with the games I'm serious.” Gi-Hun gets up from his chair and moves toward you. “Enough with the games!” He says harsher. You still ignore him. 

“Fine, fine I’ll take it.” You blank expression turns to a smile as you wrap your arms around him. 

“Thank you. Thank you.” You say to him. He smiles and your heart flutters. You would give him all the money in the world if it meant if he could see you smile like that again. 

“No thank you, you’re the amazing one.” You stare up at him and he memorizes your features. The way you smile when he praises you goes straight through his body. “Please let me know if you need anymore. I want to help you, Gi-Hun. You’re my friend.” You grab his hand again and squeeze it in yours. “I don’t want to ever have to see you sad, especially when I can help.” You say sweetly and you push a piece of his hair out of his face.

Gi-Hun almost wants to cry at your kindness and protective nature towards him. He never had someone care so much for him besides his mother. He wants nothing more than to kiss you and tell you he loves you in every way he can. But then he is pushed back into reality, realizing it would never work between the two of you. You probably wouldn't dream of wanting to be with him. He was old, broke and still living with his mother at 40. 

“Do you wanna walk me back to my house, Chauffeur?” You asked him, smiling. 

“But your friends are waiting on you.”

“Mhm but I’m in much better company with you.” You said linking your arm with his. He just smiled and walked with you to your house. All Gi-Hun could focus on right now was you. Your smile, hair, everything captivated his attention. He didn’t even notice the old man from the game stare back at the two of you as you left the shop. 

-

“Gi-Hun can you unzip this for me.” You spoke to the man as he waited outside the room. It had been a few months since you helped with Gi-Hun and his mother. From Gi-Hun’s reports his mother’s surgery was going well and you were happy to hear it. And now you were shopping for a dress for your friend’s 23rd birthday party. 

Gi-Hun’s head shot up as he heard your voice. He slowly nodded his head. As he stood you giggled and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the dressing room. Gi-Hun’s hand slowly made his way to the zip. You were staring at his expression in the mirror, he seemed unsure of what to do, even though he did. He was very close to you, you could feel his breath on your neck. Soon your breathing grew heavier as his body heat radiated towards yours. 

His thumb and pointer finger grabbed onto the zip and began to unzip it at an agonizing pace. After he part of your back was exposed his other hand ran over it, following the zipper. Once the zipper reached the end his hand didn’t leave you.

“Gi-Hun.” You whispered, before he abruptly turned you around so you were facing him. You moved your hand forward slightly so the dress fell to the ground. Before you could register anything, Gi-Hun grabbed your waist and pushed you into the wall as his lips went into yours. The kiss was passionate, so much more passionate than you ever had. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close to you. You were bare underneath the dress you previously wore and your pebbled breasts began to be smoothed down by his rough fingertips. 

“Gi-Hun please this is so wrong.” You whispered against his lips as he began to trail kisses down your neck to your ear. The thoughts rolled through your head, how much older he was than you, but at this point you didn't care. You wanted him and he wanted you. 

“Then why does it feel so good?” He moved one of his hands from your breasts to your wet lips, not touching them directly yet. He looked at your face for a sign of approval and you gave him a nod of acknowledgement. The minute your face moves his fingers explore your most sensitive part. “And why is this so wet?” You just moan in response as he skillfully play with your clit with his finger. You held onto his shoulder to keep your balance.

Gi-Hun moved his hand and away from you to sit on the bench that was placed on the side of the wall. 

“C’mere pretty girl.” He said with a sinister smile. You look over at him fully clothed and you look down at yourself bare. 

“It’s not fair you're wearing too many clothes.” You whine as you make your way over to him. As you sit on his lap you begin to unbutton his shirt. You began to bit your lip at his exposed chest. His muscles flexed as you continued to undress him until his shirt was fully on the floor. You stared at his body and he was surprisingly ripped. He had toned abs and strong arms. 

He moves his arms around your waist to guide you to straddle one of his thighs. You moan as your exposed cunt meets the rough material of his jeans. He guides your hips along the material as it brushes against your clit. You moan out at the sensation.

“That’s it princess.” He moves his hands off of you so you can move by yourself. “Rub yourself on my jeans.” You started to move faster as the feeling became addictive.

“You feel so good, Gi-Hun.” You whine out at the friction that is bringing you closer and closer to ecstasy. “Feels so good.” He praises more. You feel the pool between your legs grow larger as your orgasm chases you. You’re so close and with one final tug at his jeans your clit spasms and a powerful orgasm washes over you. You rest your head on his shoulder while you try to recollect yourself.

Soon you’re getting off his thigh you get down on your knees, unbuckling his belt and zipping down his pants. You are desperate to see him. You wanna see what he’s hiding in his pants. You’re on fire and you need something to relieve it.

Once he’s left in his boxers you’re excited. You quickly move your hand to ghost over the strain that is against the gray boxers. You bite your lip as you feel how large and warm he feels. You quickly pull down his boxers and he springs out.

You feel your body heat up more and pleasure moves directly to your core as you stare at him. He looks sinful, standing tall, with veins decorating his base. He liked like the perfect size to pleasure you. You wanted to moan as you saw him.

“You like my cock baby?” He asks as he starts lazily jerking himself off in front of your face. You couldn’t believe you were getting a front row view of this. “You wanna touch it?”

“Yes.” You whisper before you immediately wrap your mouth around his head. Even though you were young you still had experience giving blow jobs and you were determined to give Gi-Hun the best blow job of his life.

You start by licking his head repeatedly before you start to bob your head up and down, sucking the life out of him. What’s left of his base was being pumped in your left hand. Gi-Hun let out an animalistic growl at your actions.

“Fuck princess just like that.” He lazily moved his hand in your hair, barely gripping it, but used it as leverage. You continued your movements as you felt him quiver and shake behind you. You popped him out of your mouth for a moment but continued to touch him with your hand.

“I wanna taste you, Gi-Hun.” You say before licking at his head again.

“You’ll get a taste right after I fuck you, princess.” He grabs your hand sweetly and motions for you to stand up. He takes the small of your back and judges over to straddle him. He positioned you so he lined up at your entrance. He slowly moved your hips down onto his cock, you squirmed at the feeling of being filled. As you continued to sink down onto his thick length.

Once you were comfortable on top of him, you started to move your hips up and down to create a rhyme. As you moved up and down his length with a tight clench around him, Gi-Hun threw his head back. He’s never felt like this before with a woman. He’d never been in someone who was so tight around him. It was heaven. Soon he was going deeper and deeper inside of you and you started to whine against him as you felt yourself coming closer to the edge.

“Yeah you like getting fucked by an older man?” He whispered in your ear as his hands guided you to bounce on top of him. The thrusts were quick against him.

“Y-yes.” You whimpered back. Your hands made their way to his thick hair and threaded it through his strands.

“Your daddy hired me to keep you protected from this kind of stuff but now I’m deep inside this tight pussy.” He thrusts his hips up to meet yours and it further plunges his cock inside of you.

“Ah fuck.” Is all you can manage to spit out. He wasn’t wrong though, it did turn you on to fuck your chauffeur, someone your dad trusted to protect you and keep you safe. You gushed around him as the thought drove you mad.

“Yeah bounce on that cock baby.” He said as you continued to move up and down against his body. You were squeezing his cock to death as you kept slamming down on him and Gi-Hun swore he never felt this good.

It felt so good like this, to have him so close to you. It was like you were made for each other. The universe was just waiting to put the two of you together at the times you most needed it.

“God baby, I’m so close to coming.” Gi-Hun grunts between his teeth. You whine against him as you continue to move your hips the fastest you can without coming.

“Gi-Hun my hips and thighs are getting tired.” You whine against him.

“Oh now we can’t have that.” He said in a pouty tone. You get off of him and he stands up. “Lay down princess, I want you to be comfortable.” You lay down and he moves on top of you. He cradles your face with his hand as he moves a piece of your hair out of your face.

As you lay beneath him you grab onto his soft hair and pull him closer to you, attaching your lips to his. They’re soft and magnetic against yours. And soon he’s thrusting his hips faster and he’s hitting the most sinful part of you.

“Gi-hun, fuck. You’re fucking me feel so good.” You pant as he continues his quick thrusts into your body. He’s moving faster that you were when you were on top and it feels so good. The pressure of his body against yours added to the pleasure, being so close to him your breasts squeezed against his chest. You could feel his hips stutter as he came closer to the edge and you followed close behind him.

“So close princess.” He grunted. You grabbed onto his hair with a more forceful grip to stabilize yourself.

“Me too baby.” You whispered back. “Keep fucking me like this I’m gonna come soon.” This urged him on and began a more faster pace, desperate to see you come and it works. Your stomach grows a knot that is desperate to come undone. With a few more thrusts from Gi-Hun hits the spot to make you gush and come around him, clenching him to death. He throws his head out at the sudden tightness. 

“Fuck baby, I’m gonna come.” He says before he pulls out, “Get on your knees for me, princess.” You immediately do as he says as he pumps his cock in his fist.

“Gonna come on this pretty face.” He says before his eyes glue shut and his thick load is landing on your face. You moan as it hits your face. You look up at him with his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth slightly open. It’s sinful how good he looks it makes you wanna get right back on him and start riding him again.

When his orgasm has run it’s course he looks at you and the mess on your face. He smirks at his work before he takes a few droplets from your forehead and place them in your mouth.

“You wanted to taste my come didn’t you.” You happily nod with his fingers in your mouth. You finally get off your knees and start to getting dressed. 

“I think you should buy the dress.” He says after you both put back on your clothes. “It looks nice on the floor. I could get used to it there.”

“Shut up.” You say pulling your sweater over your head. You pull out your wallet and hand him a few bills.

“What is this for?”

“Your services.” You giggle moving towards him to exit but he blocks it.

“I’m not a prostitute.”

“No but you I still wanna thank you.” You say kissing his check before leaving the dressing room. 

#Gi-hun #gi-hun x reader #seong gi-hun smut #Gi-hun smut #seong gi-hun x reader #squid game #squid game fanfic #squid game smut #Squid game x reader #gi hun squid game

[diaphragmjellyfish]

I Have This... Thing

Not My Gif

So as someone with vaginismus, it’s sometimes frustrating to read fan fiction, specifically smut. Y/N always has sex so easily and with very little foreplay, finishing with no issues. And it’s so great for people who can do that, but it’s not the case for all of us. Some of us can’t have any sort of penetration without pain. Some people can’t finish without toys, or hours of work. Some people will never be able to have penetrative sex. There’s all kinds of people, and there’s all kinds of sex. But not near enough fics featuring Y/N’s with these issues. So I’m going to write some, and feel free to request any issue with any character, and if I don’t know that character, we can collaborate to find a character you like that I do know. 

Paul Lahote x reader smut. 

You had lived in Forks for about 6 months now. You’ve known your new friends here for 5 months. And you’ve been the imprint of Paul Lahote for 3 months. Well, you’ve been his imprint since you guys first locked eyes at La Push when you first hung out with Emily, but he didn’t tell you about the whole werewolf/ imprint thing until 3 months ago. Safe to say it came as a shock. Your friends, the people who had welcomed you so easily, helped you move furniture around, and gave you tours of the new town, were WOLVES. Or engaged to wolves. *cough* Emily *cough*. You had to take a few weeks break from them after they told you. After Sam explained the legends, the lore. After Paul told you that you were basically his soul mate. It’s a lot to take in! 

But you quickly realized that you had grown to love the pack. And now that you knew the big secret, things were easier around them. No more lies about where they had all been. No more avoiding talking about their mysterious injuries that only seemed to last for a couple hours. No more awkwardly dancing around why Paul stared at you constantly and wouldn’t let any other guy get within 6 feet of you without having a rage attack and sprinting into the woods. Things were going good. 

Well… as good as they could be without sex. Yep. You and Paul had been together for 3 months and you have not had sex. You didn’t give each other head. You didn’t take your clothes off around each other. You didn’t even dry hump. And you knew it was your fault. You could tell that Paul was getting nervous about the fact that you wouldn’t let him touch you like that. He would never ask you about it, because he wouldn’t want you to feel pressured or rushed, but you could tell it was on his mind. The little sad smile he would give when you stopped things from going further. The hover of his hands over your ass before landing back on your waist. The way he looked almost guilty after looking at you in a swimsuit or crop top. 

See, vaginismus made relationships difficult. You never had a long term relationship before Paul. You were either too scared to tell partners about it, and just dealt with the excruciating pain, which would lead to resentment and breakups, or you would tell them and they would ghost you. Guys don’t normally go for girls who’s opening line is “Hi! I cannot have sex without crying.” You’d been dilating for almost a year now. It was going okay. Some days hurt more than others. A lot of times, Paul would ask you to hang out when you were in the middle of your physical therapy, and you would have to make up some excuse as to why you couldn't. Too tired. Headache. Stomach bug. He was starting to catch on. 

One day, you guys were hanging out at your apartment watching a movie. You had been making out, but as soon as it started getting slightly heated, you had pulled away and got up to get a drink refill. Paul, having gotten used to the routine, didn’t question you. While you were in the kitchen pouring some more juice, Paul asked “Hey babe? Do you have a charger I can borrow?”

“Yeah it’s in the top drawer of my bedside table,” you haphazardly yelled back. 

You heard him get up and go into your bedroom, rummaging around a little. Then silence. 

“Hey babe?” he said hesitantly. You thought he just couldn’t find the charger, so you began walking towards your room to grab it for him. Once you got to the doorway, you stopped dead in your tracks. Eyes wide. Face bright red. Paul held up the dilator you were currently on, which was about 5 inches long and looked… well let’s be honest. It looked like a dildo. The bottle of lubricant that was also in the drawer didn’t help your case. How the fuck were you supposed to explain yourself? You expected Paul to tease you, make some sex jokes, and maybe try to make out with you again, but he didn’t. He looked absolutely crushed. 

“Do you not want to have sex with me?” He asked, sounding on the verge of tears. 

“What?! Paul, of course I want to have sex with you!”

“Then why this?” he pressed.

“You don’t even know what that’s for. Let me explain,” you pleaded, afraid he was going to lose that infamous temper. You’d never witnessed it before, but you were scared you were about to. 

“I think I have a pretty good guess about what this is for!” He exclaimed, holding it up. “You won’t even let me kiss your neck but you have this that you obviously use when I’m not around. You don’t want to have sex with me. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Paul! That’s not true at all!” You were starting to get irritated at his assumptions. “It’s for physical therapy.” 

“Oh, is that what we’re calling orgasms now?” He questioned, exasperated. 

“I’m not talking about orgasms! If you gave me two seconds to explain, you would know that that does not bring me an ounce of pleasure. I hate having to use it.” You started to tear up at this, all the memories of your struggles surging back up. At this, Paul stopped. He looked super confused, but also worried about you. God forbid you shed a tear, Paul would rip the world apart to make you happy again. “Come sit down,” you said, resigned, as you moved to sit on the edge of your bed. Paul, still holding the dilator in his hand, sat down next to you. The silence seemed to last an eternity, but you knew that the longer you went without explaining, the more hurt Paul would feel. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said it was for physical therapy,” you whispered. “I have other ones. All different sizes.” You realized you might not have been helping your case with this. 

“I don’t understand. Why do you need them if you don’t use them to get off?” He looked like a kicked puppy. 

“Well… I have this thing. It’s like… a condition? And I need them so maybe one day I can have sex without any pain.” He still looked wildly confused, and you knew you were going to have to elaborate. “When I first started having sex, it hurt. A lot. But I always heard that it was supposed to hurt the first time. So I just kind of put up with it. It was bad though. I always tapped out, couldn’t go for more than a couple minutes. It felt like this really intense stinging. Like a rugburn all inside me. And it didn’t stop, even after I started doing it more. It never went away… I ended up googling it, and it’s actually something that a lot of women struggle with. I made a doctor’s appointment and was lucky enough to get diagnosed the first time. Lots of women are told they’re making it up. My doctor gave me these dilators, told me how to use them, and said that with enough time and physical therapy, I could have painless sex one day.” When you finished, you turned to look at him. He was staring intently at the dilator, thinking. 

“So, you have to like… stretch yourself? Were you just born too small?” He phrased it delicately, but you knew what he meant. 

“Basically, it’s an anxiety disorder with very physical symptoms. My pelvic floor muscles constrict when I try to put anything inside me, which makes it super painful. It’s like an involuntary reflex. Like blinking when something flies near your face. And I have to condition my body to learn that penetration doesn’t hurt, and that it doesn’t have to tighten up like that. The condition is called vaginismus. You can google it yourself if you want.” 

“Oh.” A pause. Paul knew you had some anxiety, but he never guessed it could cause something like this. He knew you were embarrassed. He could tell. And the last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you couldn’t be open and vulnerable with him. Did you think he would leave you? Or get mad? “Why didn’t you tell me?” Was the question that came out. 

“It’s humiliating. I could tell you were getting antsy about us not having sex, and I guess I didn’t have the heart to tell you that it’s not going to happen anytime soon. This physical therapy, it takes a while. I’ve already been doing it for almost a year, and I still have three sizes after this one.” A tear fell. You wiped it away quickly, hoping he Paul wouldn’t notice, but he did. He moved to wrap his arms around you, putting the dilator back on your nightstand. He embraced you, and the reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere was more than you could handle. You burst into tears as he pulled you onto his lap and rocked you both, rubbing his hand up and down your back. You guys stayed there until you stopped crying, and then he finally spoke. 

“Y/N, I don’t ever want you to feel like there’s something you can’t tell me. I love you. And yeah, I would love to have sex with you one day, but I’m with you because of who you are. I don’t care if we never do it. You are my person, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you the happiest you can be. This? This thing you think is such a problem? It’s irrelevant to me. To my love for you. And I will be here every step of the way, supporting you, cheering you on, until you don’t want me anymore.” He brought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it. 

“I love you, Paul,” was all you could say. You leaned in and shared the sweetest, most loving kiss either of you had ever experienced. His hand cupped the side of your face, thumb rubbing your cheek. When you pulled away, the tension in the room was gone, replaced with you and Paul’s usual light, fun energy. 

“How do you use them?” He smiled as he asked, nodding his head towards your nightstand where the dilator still rested. “Do you like… just ride them? Or..?” 

You laughed, which made his smile broaden. “It’s not a sexual thing. Basically I put a towel down, cover the dilator in lube, and put it in as far as I can without pain. Then, I just sit there and leave it for like 20 minutes. And then I take it out.” 

“So you just like... do homework while you do it?” His concerned face made you laugh again. 

“You have to make your body associate it with pleasure, so no, I don’t do homework. Normally I’ll watch a funny show or eat some candy or FaceTime you.”

He froze at this. “You do this when we FaceTime?” 

This made you blush and look away from his piercing gaze. “Sometimes. I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s just a nice distraction.” 

“No, no. I don’t want you to stop. It’s just… can I see you do it?” This question shocked you. Not just the question itself, but the fact that you didn’t hate the idea. You loved kissing Paul. What better way to associate therapy with pleasure than by kissing him while you do it? 

“Are you sure? Like I said, it’s not exactly sexual. Or sexy. Like at all. I literally just sit there.” 

“I know, it’s ok. I want to be able to help you, but if you don’t want to we can just go back to the movie.” 

“I mean I do still have to do it today.” You thought for another second, before jumping up and saying “Okay. Let’s do it.” 

Paul looked happy and excited, but also lost. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, or with his eyes. Did you want him to touch you? Or just watch you? Or just sit in the corner of the room and face the wall? You were spreading a towel across the middle of the bed, and went to untie your sweatpants before looking at him. 

“Guess we haven’t really gotten this far, huh?” alluding to being naked in front of each other. It did make you a little nervous, and nerves equal tight muscles, which means pain. 

“Why don’t you put a blanket over yourself? That way there’s less pressure,” he suggested, and you could have kissed him for it. You smiled, nodded, and grabbed a throw blanket from the chair. He turned around to face the wall while you took off your pants and settled under the blanket. 

“Ok, I’m good.” you said. He turned back around, coming to kneel beside you on the bed. 

“Do you want me to just… hold your hand? Or sit here and talk to you?” 

“Would you want to sit behind me?” You suggested nervously, leaning forward slightly. 

“Of course! Yeah, I can do that.” He took this seriously, and you appreciated that. This was a scenario you had thought about many times, and though you knew he wouldn’t be the type to ask you to have sex with him despite the pain, it was always a possibility. The fact that he didn’t take your pain lightly, and let you be in charge so you would be comfortable, meant more to you than he would ever know. Paul gently climbed behind you, putting his legs on either side of you, and hesitantly rubbing your shoulders. You leaned back into him, as if to say I’m okay with this.

“Can you hand me the… “ You nodded your head towards the nightstand, and Paul didn’t need to hear the rest of the sentence before he leaned over and grabbed the dilator and bottle of lube, holding them out in front of you both. You muttered a “thanks” as you took them from his hands, and brought them under the blanket. After slathering the dilator with a good amount of lube, you closed the bottle and tossed it towards the foot of the bed, leaning back and shifting your hips down. Paul clearly didn’t want to overstep his boundaries, so he was slow and careful as he wrapped his arms around your torso, giving you time to say stop. You didn’t, though. He felt your body tense slightly as you dragged the tip of the dilator around your entrance, so he started to rub his hands up and down your sides, kissing your cheek. You turned your head to look at him, and he met you with a sweet kiss. You guys pulled away slightly, before going back in as you began to push the dilator in further. He kissed you with love, tenderness, and care, so as not to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. It was clear that you had the reigns, and Paul would stop as soon as you gave the slightest indication that you were uncomfortable. The dilator was about half way in, and you felt a slight stinging sensation, but kissing Paul distracted you. You brought one hand up to cup the side of his face, pulling him back in. 

Paul kept kissing you, waiting for your lips to part so he could brush his tongue against yours. This is normally where you would stop him, but he knew everything now. There was no expectation of more, and damn. Paul was a really good kisser. He sucked lightly at your lower lip, before nibbling it and letting it go, coming back in with his lips. The combination of Paul’s kisses, the slight heat they brought to your body, and the pressure of the tip of the dilator inside you had you shift your hips, and involuntarily let out a small moan. It was barely audible, but Paul and his super senses heard it. You pulled away and slapped a hand over your mouth, your face turning bright red. He chuckled deeply, the sound going straight to your body, and brought his hand up to pull your hand off your mouth. “Don’t you dare hide those sounds from me,” he teasingly whispered into your ear. You shivered, and Paul started to kiss your cheek, down your jaw, and onto your neck. He sucked on the soft skin, hands squeezing your waist and rubbing up and down. You wanted to try something. For the first time, dilating actually didn’t feel so obligatory, so mechanical and stiff. You pushed the dilator deeper in, just about a centimeter, but enough to give you that feeling you had moments ago. You let out a breathy sigh as you tilted your head to give Paul more room on your neck. He felt you shift your hips again, and brought one of his hands to rub circles on your lower stomach. Skin on skin. And it felt good. 

You kept going like this for a few minutes, and Paul could feel your skin grow hotter by the second. Your back was arched, your neck covered in light red marks, and Paul had the intense desire to see you unravel. He brought his lips from your neck up to the side of your face, getting as close to eye contact as he could in this position, and said “Can I touch you?” 

You knew what he meant. The thought of it made you nervous. No one had touched you without it hurting before. It was almost as if he read your mind when he followed with “I can just stay on the outside…” Oh. You could be down with that. You turned your head to him and nodded. 

“Just try not to touch the dilator,” you said softly. You trusted Paul. He was already being so kind and patient with this, and you knew he would die before he would ever hurt you. The hand that had been rubbing circles on your stomach travelled lower. Lower. Lower. Until he could feel the slight stubble of a past shave, and then your soft, wet skin. You gasped as he touched your most sensitive parts, even more so because of how turned on you were. He gently made small, tight circles over your clit, your eyes rolling back in your head as you fell completely slack against him and let out a moan. A real moan, that Paul swore he would never forget. And he made you make that sound. It only spurred him on. He applied slightly more pressure, but not so much as to overwhelm you. And he knew that when girls were feeling good, the secret wasn’t faster or harder, but to keep doing exactly what you were doing. So that’s what he did, and it had you writhing. Your moans kept coming, and your legs had started to shake. However, because it felt so good, your muscles had started to clench around the dilator, and it was beginning to hurt. 

You didn’t want to rain on the parade. It was going so well. But Paul being the attentive lover that he is, noticed you begin to tense up in a new way. He brought his hand back up to your stomach, concern racing through his brain, and asked “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” 

“It’s kind of starting to. Not you, the dilator. I think I might take it out.” You stared down at his hand still touching your stomach. Such beautiful hands. You didn’t want it to end. 

“Do you want to try a smaller one? Or do you want to stop?” He questioned. 

“I really don’t want to stop,” you laughed. He breathed a laugh as well, and waited for your direction. You had a thought. Paul’s index finger was smaller than the dilator. Much smaller. If you just told him what to do and what not to do, that could feel really good. “Would you want to maybe… Nevermind.” You got nervous. 

“Hey, hey. No. Don’t do that. Tell me what you want,” He brought a finger up to your chin and moved your face towards him. “Tell me. Whatever it is, Princess. It’s yours.” Your whole body shuddered at this. He’s never called you that before, and to say it did something to you would be an understatement. 

You let out a breath, gathering courage, and said “Would you want to… use your finger?” 

He stopped at this. “Like, put my finger inside you? That wouldn’t hurt?” 

“I don’t think so. It’s smaller than this,” you said, bringing the dilator out and up. “And as long as I tell you what to do, it could be really good,” you said the last part shyly. 

“Okay, Princess. I can do that. How do you want me to do it?” 

“Try to do more… pressure, and less… friction? Like try not to go in and out so much, but you can move it around inside.” Your face was once again blushing intensely. 

“Anything you want. You just have to promise that you’ll tell me if it even hurts a little.”

“I promise.” You said it confidently enough that Paul brought his hand back down under the blanket. He circled your clit a couple times, making you shiver and release a breathy sigh, before moving his middle finger even lower, circling your entrance. He gathered some of the lube that was there from the dilator, coating his finger, and you brought your hand down to hold it, guiding it inside you at a speed that was comfortable. It was smaller than the dilator, so he was in you in 15 seconds. He stopped, and gave you a minute to adjust. Your hips writhed again because of how turned on you were, so Paul brought his other hand down and began circling your clit again. Your head fell back on his shoulder as you began to moan again, hips moving even more now. Paul took this as his queue to press his middle finger up against your inner wall lightly, causing a loud moan to leave your mouth. You were too far gone to be embarrassed. 

“There you go, baby,” he praised. God, this was the hottest thing he had ever seen. He was barely touching you, barely moving his finger inside you, and you were a mess. He had been rock hard since you guys started, but your ass was rubbing against him as you moved your hips, and he released a small growl at the feeling. This only turned you on more. He kept moving his finger in you the same way. Pressure, not friction. Pressure, not friction. He kept telling himself this. He wanted to finger bang you into oblivion, but the risk of hurting you was too high, so he kept up with rubbing the tip of his finger against that spot on your upper wall, in a “come-hither” motion. Your moans began to get higher in pitch, your body tensing even more.

“Relax your muscles for me, sweetheart,” he encouraged, and you did. Your release was approaching rapidly, and you wanted to grind against his hand, but you didn’t want to risk pain, so you trusted Paul to get you there. You were panting, hips shuddering, face scrunched, as your climax hit you like a wave. Your legs shook as you opened your mouth in a silent scream, and Paul carried you all the way through it. You came down, and lightly grabbed his wrists. He knew that that meant stop. So he slowly withdrew his finger, brought it up to his mouth, and sucked on it. Head still up in the clouds, you watched him, slack-jawed, as he popped his finger out and moaned. “So sweet,” he purred. Watching him suck on his finger like that made you think of something you’d like to suck on, and you looked down at Paul, still rock hard, and turned around in his lap. 

“Let me return the favor,” you said with a smirk.

#twilight #paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote smut #wolf pack #seth clearwater #embry call #quil ateara #sam uley #jacob black #jared cameron #robert pattinson #bella swan #edward cullen #vaginismus #dilating #paul lahote x reader smut #twilight smut

[theweasleysredhair]

In Safe Hands [G.W.]

Character: George Weasley

Word Count: 4339

Requested?: Yes/No

Summary: George is just very attractive and his hands are even more attractive.

WARNING: this is NSFW, 18+, smutty, sexy times, idk how else to say it. including oral (female receiving). also a lot of mentions of hands, arms and veins bc i canny control myself apparently.

Tags: @gracemayhateyou @acciotwinz @rexorangecouny @mischi3f-manag3d @obsessedwithrandomthings @whizbangs-78 @heart-of-tempered-steel @harrysweasleys @ickle-ronniekins @wand3ringr0s3 @theweirdsideofstuff | message or send an ask to be added to my smut taglist - you must be 18+!

Disclaimer: Gif isn't mine, credit to whoever made it

A/n: i put two requests for my event together as i decided to write a full fic based on george’s hands purely because prompt 9, which both requesters selected, refers to hands - enjoy!!

Prompts used:

3. “I may or may not have left some... marks.”

9. “God I love your hands.” “Let’s put them to good use then.”

23. “Didn’t know you wanted to get into my pants that badly.”

49. “Behave.”

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

+ + + + +

You’d always liked George - why wouldn’t you? He was funny, charming, handsome. You’d be stupid not to. It had started back in Hogwarts - you were friends with the twins; close friends. And that’s all you thought of them as, until one fateful day in your 7th year where you made the regrettable decision to meet the twins after one of their last games of Quidditch before Umbridge had banned them, and George had emerged from the Gryffindor tent freshly showered, shirt hanging over his shoulder, trousers low on his hips.

And that’s when you’d realised you liked George as much more than just friends.

You hadn’t known how to deal with him at first, how to act around him, once you’d realised how you felt. Because every time he laughed, every time he ran a hand through his hair, you felt yourself positively swooning, as cliché as it sounded.

It took a lot not to accidentally blurt out your feelings to him, not that you were helped by Fred, who noticed the slight differences in your behaviour - holding onto hugs from George a tad longer, the way you looked at him when he didn’t realise, how flustered you got when he’d rest a hand on your knee - and made it his mission to make your feelings as obvious as possible in front of his brother.

George must’ve been the most oblivious person however, as he never noticed the hints or the longing smiles. Or maybe that was because he was busy trying to stop Fred from making his own crush on you so obvious, trying to hide his own longing smiles, and the way his eyes lit up when he made you laugh.

The twins had left Hogwarts soon after you’d realised your feelings, in a fit of fireworks, and then suddenly you were dealing with Umbridge alone, with her detentions alone. Not that you blamed them for leaving at all - you knew they were out living their dream and all you could wish to do was support them. It didn’t make being at Hogwarts any easier though, dealing with all the Educational Decrees. However, you thought the space and distance would help you to get over George, and it did.

Until you saw him again in his shop. The twins had sent you a letter in the middle of your NEWTs asking you to come and work for them, an offer that you gladly accepted, however arriving at their store on your first day - after the initial overwhelming feeling of pride at seeing how well their store was doing, how successful they were - you knew you weren’t at all over him.

He stood there, a smirk etched on his face, suit fitted to him as he crossed his arms over his chest, standing on the stairs in the shop as he looked down at you, and your felt your heart racing, cursing yourself over still being so hung up on the man.

His eyes slowly took in your appearance - you’d worn a cute sundress, due to the warm weather, your hair falling loosely around your shoulders and George felt his own heartbeat quicken.

He’d fancied you since his 6th year, most likely before that, the realisation hitting him when he had seen you dancing with some prat from Ravenclaw at the Yule Ball, when you should have gone with him. After that, after seeing how utterly stunning you’d looked that day, with your ballgown and hair done, he knew he’d never be able to look at you the same.

And even now, after not seeing you for months, you didn’t fail to leave him speechless, so effortlessly beautiful in his eyes that he couldn’t help but look at you as though you’d hung all the stars in the sky.

“Long time no see, eh love?” He spoke, moving down the last couple of steps and towards you, “Still gorgeous as ever.”

You grinned at him, “Always the charmer, eh Weasley?”

He chuckled, opening his arms to wrap them around you to bring you into a warm hug, one you gladly accepted as you wrapped your own arms around his waist, taking a deep breath as the familiar scent of his cologne enveloped you, making you grin. He rested his chin on your head and closed his eyes, smiling as he felt you nuzzle into his chest.

Merlin, he thought being away from you had lessened his feelings for you but in that moment, with you in his arms, he was struck with the same realisation he’d had in his 6th year - that he was in love with you.

And, unbeknownst to him, as your grip around him tightened a little, the hug lasting a tad too long to be friendly, however neither of you mentioning anything about it, you’d come to the same realisation.

Which brought you to now.

Being around George again was amazing, you had to admit. And whilst you hated the way you kept fumbling with products, or how clumsy you’d get around him - something Fred still loved to tease you about - you also adored how he made you feel, how happy, how content - he made your life that much better, a light in an ever increasing darkening world.

You’d been working with the twins for a few months, and it was amazing, truly a better job than you could have predicted. What made the job difficult, however, was trying to keep cool when George walked around looking like he did, interacting with the guests, making the children laugh at his jokes.

Godric, could he get any more attractive?

He’d seemed to up the ante this week, almost on purpose you swore, constantly walking around in just his shirt and tie due to the summer heat, the lack of a jacket meaning you were faced with doing your job and working with customers whilst also trying not to stare at the way his shirt fit snugly around him, or how his forearms were showcased due to him rolling his sleeve to his elbows, veins appearing any time he tended his arms, whether that be due to moving things around the shop, demonstrating how certain products worked, or lifting and moving heavy equipment.

The latter of which currently occurring, as Fred had left George alone to deal with a delivery after the shop had shut.

You were stood at the Pygmy Puff display, moving cages around and making sure they were well looked after when you heard some grunts coming from the store room, as if someone had picked up something with a lot of weight. You then heard footsteps behind you, making you pause with the last - feisty - Pygmy Puff in your hand, the rest having been put into their cages.

You turned around, breath hitching in your throat as you took in the sight before you. Namely, George Weasley holding what appeared to be quite a heavy box, if his staggered breathing was anything to go by. He’d shed his jacket somewhere in the back, along with his waistcoat, leaving him in just his shirt, which was tightly fitted and, you noticed as he placed the box down on top of another cardboard box, stuck to him a little with sweat from the heavy lifting. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows, showcasing his forearms, and you found yourself gulping as your eyes wandered down the prominent veins, to his large hands, one of which was pulled through his messy ginger hair, pushing the strands out of his face.

And he had no idea.

He had no idea at all that suddenly you couldn’t focus, that suddenly all the breath had left your lungs, that suddenly all you could think about was how his hands would feel on you, holding your waist, gripping your hips, squeezing your thighs. How his fingers would feel inside of you.

George looked over at you and shot you a grin, one that made your heart race even more than it already was, “Bloody big delivery today, eh? ‘S what happens when I let Fred order the ingredients.”

You gave him an almost starstruck smile, which he accepted gladly, before reaching up and undoing the top two buttons of his shirt, pulling at his tie to loosen it, your jaw dropping almost comically as you secretly watched him.

He noticed halfway through his action that you’d gotten extremely silent, your mouth open ever so slightly and George wondered if it was because of him. Merlin he hoped so, because if you wanted him as much as he wanted you, well, he’d be happy to take you right there and then against the till counter.

He turned away to disappear back into the stockroom, biting his lip as indecent thoughts filled his mind, heading to grab the next couple of boxes.

Back on the shop floor, you took a deep breath, rubbing your eyes and cursing yourself. You should not be stood ogling your best friend, much less your best friend who was also your boss, no matter how attractive he happened to be. You should be going through the boxes to separate ingredients out, helping with the displays and doing your job.

But no, instead you were stood, still holding the Pygmy Puff that was now trying to escape your hands, imagining all the things you wanted that man to do to you. And what you wanted to do to him.

Merlin.

You popped the Pygmy Puff into the cage, and wandered over to the box that George had just brought in, trying to push the thoughts of how you could see the outline of his abs through his shirt away as you began pulling out different ingredients.

He came back around the corner, holding two boxes this time, the top one covering most of his face due to the size, allowing you to stare longingly at the way his fingers were wrapped around the edges of the boxes, gripping tightly. You bit your lip as he turned from you to place the boxes down, watching as the shirt moved closely against his back, accentuating his shoulder blades as he bent down and Merlin did you wish you could see his muscles without the shirt.

“Need any help?” You managed to stutter out, trying to act as if you hadn’t been staring at him. Still bending over as he sorted out the boxes, he paused his actions and looked up at you, shooting you a cheeky grin. “Don’t you worry at all, love, I’ve got it, I am extremely strong after all,” he winked, and Godric, didn’t you know it, “You just stand there looking your best, that’s all the motivation I need.”

And suddenly you’d forgotten how to speak, how to breathe. You just nodded, though he didn’t see as his attention was back on the box in front of him. You watched him sift through the products, fingers moving nimbly, occasionally bringing out the odd jar or packet, sometimes throwing it in the air and catching it before placing it to one side.

He brought out a smaller box of vials, which he held from the top, placing it in front of you and gripping it tighter to emphasise his hands when he saw your gaze lingering.

He smiled to himself, pushing his sleeves up - making you swallow harshly - as he pretended not to know you were watching him, all the while flexing just for your benefit.

You couldn’t help the way your eyes kept drifting over to him, couldn’t help that watching him be so efficient with flipping glass jars in the air and holding different ingredients made you that much more attracted to him. You couldn’t help your thoughts racing, thinking about asking him to use his hands on you and-

“Godric, I love your hands.”

Your eyes widened in shock as his head turned to you, your own hand covering your mouth as you realised what you’d just said, and you began stammering out, “I-I... I didn’t mean- I- George-“

George gave a pretend look of shock, as if he hadn’t purposely been working you up for the last however-long. “You like my hands?” He asked with a smirk, glancing down at them before his gaze fell back on you, taking in the sight of you being so flustered. You got lost in the way his eyes held yours, and you could do nothing but nod slowly, making George bite his lip and step forward.

His heart was racing at your confession, not quite believing it was happening but very much wanting to do something with that information, “If you like them so much, let’s put them to good use.”

“W-what?”

George looked you up and down, his tongue darting out to wetten his bottom lip, “You like my hands, and I wanna use them on you, darling. You going to let me?”

You took in the way he was looking at you - like all his dreams had come true, like you were the only thing he cared about, like he loved you. “Absolutely,” you breathed out.

And suddenly his hands were on your waist, bringing you closer to him as he brushed his lips against yours, savouring the first few moments of you being so close to him, before kissing you properly. His lips were soft, moving against yours in a way that, had you not have known any different, you may have thought he’d been kissing you for years. It felt familiar, yet with an added layer of something new. A kiss that made your skin feel like it was on fire, that, as he angled his head to deepen it, made your stomach flutter, and mind race.

It was so perfect, even with the occasional bump of your noses - so perfectly George - that you didn’t want it to end. He pulled away a little, pressing more kisses to your lips before he began moving down to your neck, pressing open mouthed, hot kisses to your skin, making you let out small, breathy moans, feeling him smile against you.

You ran your hands down his chest, playing gently with the buttons and pulling his tie completely off, and heading towards his belt as he licked the skin just below your ear.

Beginning to unbuckle his belt, you also “accidentally” brushed against the evident tent in his pants, and he pulled away from you to grin, “Didn’t know you wanted to get into my pants that badly, love.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and bit your lip at him, making his heart beat a little faster, “Your fault for bringing that delivery in so attractively.”

You’d managed to unbuckle his belt and pulled him back in for a kiss, him mumbling against your lips, “Might get Fred to order stock more often then if this is what happens.”

He led you over to the stairs, stumbling a little up the bottom two steps before trapping you against the banister for a moment, holding you close to him as he continued to kiss you, his tongue easily gliding into your mouth.

Between kisses, and George pulling your shirt off, you made it to the apartment above the shop, heading down the hallway and bumping into the cabinet that was stood between the bathroom and Fred’s room, before arriving at his bedroom door, which he nudged open with his feet, bringing you inside.

He held you by the waist, fingertips tightening a little as he pulled away from the kiss for air, and to lift you up so he could throw you onto the bed, the impact making your breasts bounce and George breathed out a, “Fuck, c’mere.”

He crawled on top of you, your back arching into the mattress as your arms looped around his neck, playing with the tufts of ginger hair at the base of his neck as you brought him back in for another kiss. Your hands moved down to begin unbuttoning his shirt, something you’d been imagining all day, before throwing it to the other side of the room, George doing the same with your bra.

A few moments later, you’d both shed the rest of your clothes, leaving you bare against him, breasts pressed against his chest, his arms either side of your head, supporting his weight above you. You could feel his breath hitting your hitting your lips, his face centimetres from yours.

In stark contrast to the compromising position you were in, George looked down at you with love, a look that warmed your heart as you gave him a small, almost shy, smile.

“You know I- uh- I love you, right? I’m in love with you, darling.” He looked almost vulnerable as he said that, his eyes flickering across your face as his lips parted a little.

You lifted your head up so your forehead rested against his, hands clutching his shoulders, “I’m in love with you too, Georgie.”

“Me or my hands?” He joked, making you shake your head and laugh. You pretended to think for a moment before replying, “Maybe both.”

“Let’s see if I can make you come from just my hands then, shall we?” He grinned, making your heart race as his fingers danced down your stomach before pressing against your clit.

“So wet for me,” He commented, circling it slowly, smirking at the way you let out little breathy moans, before he entered a finger into you, taking advantage of the way your back arched in order to take one of your nipples into his mouth. He sucked on it, gently nibbling as he pushed his finger in and out of you, before adding a second finger, stretching you out a little.

“George,” you breathed out as he moved to your other breast.

He continued moving his fingers against you, in you, and you felt the familiar feeling of pleasure building in your stomach.

After being so wound up from watching him, you knew it wouldn’t take much more to reach your high, and as he continued to kiss your breasts, you breathed out slowly, almost embarrassed at how quickly he’d managed to turn you into a pile of mush at his touch.

“I’m close,” you whimpered, as George moved from your breasts to your collarbone, his thumb adding a little more pressure to your clit as his fingers moved.

Picking up his pace ever-so-slightly, he brought you closer to your high. He felt you clench around his fingers and pressed a kiss to your jawline. “Come for me princess,” he whispered against your ear in a low tone, making you shiver.

George watched the way you closed your eyes, mouth open and head tilted back as your high washed over you, pleasure running through you, and felt himself harden at the sight.

His fingers continued moving against you, although at a slower pace, and your hips jolted towards him at the overstimulation, “‘S a good girl.” He leant forward, pressing his body against yours as he kissed you gently.

“Think you can come for me again, love?”

You were breathing heavily from your first orgasm, though with the way his fingers were moving against you, you knew you’d be reaching your second before you could properly catch your breath. You nodded at him before he began trailing back down your stomach and settled himself between your legs.

You shivered as he lightly pressed kisses on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his hands squeezing your hips, before he licked into you, making you gasp out and clutch the bedsheets tightly. Letting out a moan as he pushed a finger back into you, you closed your eyes, head falling back against the headboard as you breathed out heavily from the way his tongue was moving against you.

You bucked your hips against him involuntarily, causing his free hand to push your hips back down and he looked up from between your legs, his eyes catching yours as he smirked against you, “Behave, darling.” You moaned as the vibrations of just those two words travelled through you, the hand not enclosed around his heading towards his messy hair and running through it, pulling at strands as you felt his tongue flatten against you.

Feeling your second orgasm creeping up on you, you wrapped your legs around his head and let out a moan as you felt George groan against you. Your second high felt more intense than the first, and the feel of George’s tongue pushing inside you made you moan out loudly, the feeling taking over you before you relaxed against him, legs falling onto his shoulders.

“You look so pretty when you come,” he grinned, moving back to hover over you. He pressed himself against you, rocking his hips against yours, arm muscles tensing as he held himself up over you.

You whined a little at the feel of him moving against your sensitive clit, making him smile.

“You ready for me, princess?”

You wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, the other reaching for his hand to intertwine your fingers together, “Always, Georgie.”

At your go-ahead, he pressed a kiss to your lips and eased himself into you, making you both moan out. “You feel so good wrapped around me, love,” he praised as he pulled out of you before pushing back in again, “Taking me so well.”

He moved against you, skin brushing against skin, his spare hand moving to touch any place he could, running his fingers down the curves of your body, before biting his lip as he pulled his hand from yours to grab your wrist, taking your other one from around his neck and holding them above your head, making you whimper as his arms flexed.

“Do you like what my hands can do to you, love? How I made you come from nothing but my fingers?” He groaned against you, feeling himself edging towards his own high.

“Yes... yes!” You breathed out, your eyes closing as you felt your high arriving fast, “George you feel so good.”

George groaned again, feeling you clenching around his cock in the same way you did around his fingers. He leant forward to kiss you, still holding your arms above your head and suddenly pleasure coursed through your body, and you sighed against his lips, him twitching and coming inside of you soon after with a deep growl.

He fell against your shoulder, pulling himself out of you before laying beside you, letting go of your wrists as you instinctively curled towards him.

George’s eyes wandered over to you, a smile small playing at his lips, taking in the way your hair was falling across his pillow, your eyes shut as you breathed heavily, eyelashes fanning across your cheeks, your hand resting on one of his biceps.

His gaze travelled across your neck and down to your collarbones, then across your breasts, a smug smile gracing his face. You opened your own eyes, catching his shit-eating grin and raised an eyebrow at him wearily, “What’s that look for?”

“I may or may not have left some... marks,” he replied cheekily, biting his lip, pupils blown wide as he took in the sight of you marked by him, pressed up next to him.

Your jaw dropped a little and you shook your head with a laugh, “Oh bloody hell, Georgie!” You stood up quickly and headed to the mirror across the room to check, fighting the urge to both laugh and smack him when you saw the red and purple marks littering your skin.

George sat back on the bed, eyes raking over your body, enjoying the sight of your bare bum and back, and found himself biting his lip and imagining all the things he wanted to do to you that night. His eyes lingered on the curve of your bum and he fought the urge to grab you again and pull you down onto him.

“I like them on you, they look hot,” George said with a grin, and you playfully glared at him in the mirror.

“You would think that.” Turning back around to him, you just missed the way his gaze flickered to the marks on your breasts and up to your neck, George feeling extremely proud of himself and his work.

“Yeah, it just shows people you’re mine I guess,” he shrugged unapologetically and gave you a smug grin, looking you up and down as you walked back over to him.

“Oh I’m yours, am I?” You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest and unintentionally accentuating your breasts to him, making him let out a groan as he reached for you.

“Of course you are.”

He pulled you back down onto him like he’d imagined before, your bare chest against his own, his large hands holding your waist as your nails gently scraped down his arms.

“Fancy a round two?” He asked, one of his hands already beginning to head back towards your clit.

Your eyes closed as you sighed contently as you felt his fingers press against you, enjoying the feel of him, “I could be convinced.”

As you were straddling him, you felt him harden more than he was against you, and you opened your eyes to meet his own, darkened with lust, his fingers still moving against you as his other hand gripped your hip.

“Oh princess, how about I make you come for a fourth time tonight? And then again. And then again. And again after that. Would that convince you?”

You bit your lip, pushing yourself against his hand and grinned at him, “I reckon it would. Or maybe I’ll just ride you instead.”

He picked up the pace of his fingers against you, and you let out a moan from above him as one of your own hands covered his on your hip, making him smile cheekily at you,

“Ride me then, darling, and then I’ll make sure you can’t walk in the morning.”

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