#I wanna be Nai’s shower water | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astrolynnworld · 5 months

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caught

pairing: dom!matt x reader

summary: while you’re in the shower, matt finds some hidden toys. how quick can he be before your roommate gets back?

warnings: smut! toy usage, watching you masturbate, aggressive sex, caught by roommate, praise/degradation, pet names.

word count: 1,792

i squeal as i stretch from the stale position of my nap

i look over at matt who’s on his phone playing pokémon go

“hey” i speak with rasp

“oh you’re up” he smiles at me, “dont forget that nai invited us to her house party later”

fuck i forgot. i kinda dont even really wanna go, it just feels like the type of day where you lay in bed and never get up

“do we have to go?” i ask with a frown

“come on babe, we don’t have to stay long but let’s at least show our face” he replies

“fine. let me start getting ready now” i say as i hop out the bed to the shower

———————————————————————

matt’s pov:

after i hear the shower water turn on, i get up and walk to y/n’s mirror to see how i look for this party

“i need to brush my hair” i say out loud

i look around to see if she has a brush lying around anywhere

nope.

i start checking some drawers just in case she likes to keep everything tucked away

i open the first drawer to a bunch of shirts and crop tops. “not here” i say aloud

the second drawer was just filled with all kinds of pants. “not this either” i say again

i opened her bottom drawer because maybe this would be where she kept all her beauty supplies

but i was wrong.

all I see is mass amounts of electrical toys. from vibrators to dildos to plugs.

i didn’t know my girlfriend was this much of a freak..

a million questions was running through my mind. how often would she use these? was i not doing the job? why wouldn’t she ask me to incorporate these into our sex lives?

i waited for her to get out the shower so she could do some explaining

———————————————————————

y/n’s pov:

i get out the shower, grab my towel and walk back into my bedroom.

when i open the door i see matt standing by my dressers with the bottom one open

fuck. i know he saw the freak show i have going on in there

“wanna explain?” matt exclaims, breaking the silent staring contest we had

“are you mad?” i ask, letting that be the deciding factor on what i say next

“no. i just wanna know why i never knew you were into stuff like that” he brews

“it’s not like a super big deal. i touch and play with myself when you’re not always around” i tell

he walks closer to me, “do you think of me when you do”

i look up at him and nod, i could tell that the idea of this was turning him on

“which one do you think about me the most with?” he asks dominantly

“the blue wand looking one” i say as i point to the drawer

he goes to grab it then brings it back to me, “show me how you would use it”

i freeze

“huh?” i ask

“show me. how you would use it.” he demands as he hands me vibrator

i take it out his hand and stare as he finds a seat at my desk ready to watch the show

i have never had someone watch me masturbate before but the idea didn’t necessarily turn me off

i walk back over to my dresser because im going to need a little help if im using the vibrator

i grab the pink dildo that sat at the top of the drawer and i make my way to the bed

i could tell matt was putting up a lot of resistance to not speak since he didn’t want to ruin the scene

i take off my towel and lay down flat on the bed, facing my body towards him allowing him a perfect view of my already wet pussy.

i turn on the vibrator and place it on my clit.

this wand had high sensational levels so the vibrations were strong

i start rubbing the vibrators in circles before taking the end of the dildo and tracing it against my hole

i can hear matt’s anticipated breaths fill this silent room

i start slowly trying to push the dildo in as i fail to mask my small moans

the toy was pressing against my walls at the perfect pressure

from my peripheral vision i could see matt starting to undo his pants and take his dick out into his hands

the idea of him watching me masturbate had always secretly been a fantasy of mine

i continue to let these thoughts of matt watching me flow through my head as i push the dildo deeper into me

i whimper as i feel the tip of the toy push all the way against my g spot

i continue to circle the wand around my clit as i use the dildo to pull out and push deep back inside of me

the stimulus of both these toys at the same time was always enough to set me loose

i try to fight being nosy but i couldn’t control my body movements

i start slowly grinding into the wand and toy more and more aggressively

i slightly raise my head again to check on matt and i see him stroking his dick with his foggy eyes and chest panting from breathing so hard

i put my head back down and start whimpering her name as i continue to grind into the toys

“matt oh my god” i gasp out

“please matt.”

“fuck matt you feel so good.”

“don’t stop matt.”

“nugh- matt please keep fucking me” i say on repeat

i didn’t even notice matt had gotten up from the chair until i felt his hands slowly trace up my spreaded legs

i slowly stop the grinding just to see what his plan of action is

he pulls the dildo out and tosses it to the side before sliding his own dick inside

“matt-“ i try to speak as he starts thrusting into me

“i can’t watch this anymore. i have to be the one to make you cum. i always want to be the one to make you cum” he speaks

“you’re so fucking hot and nasty. putting on that slutty show for me knowing how turned on you make me” he continues

i don’t speak. i just let the noises flow from my mouth as he pushes balls deep inside of me

he grabs the wand from my hand and spits on my pussy before putting it back on my clit and rubbing it in with the wand

“fuck your pussy is so pretty. i cant get enough of you”

i stare up at him with a fucked out expression as his dick continues to pound inside of me

he puts his other hand on my throat and bends down to start kissing me, slowly getting more sloppy.

“you’re mine okay princess? all mine.” he whispers into my mouth

“all yours” i repeat, choked out from his tight grip on my throat

he continues to thrust messily before stopping

“turn over” he echos

i flip over and lay on my stomach while arching my ass up

he slaps my ass, “so fucking sexy”

matt hands me back the vibrator so i can hold it against my own clit before sliding back into my drenched hole

“fuck you just get hotter and hotter” he says as i throw my ass back on him while the thrusts into me

the room filled with nothing more than echos of clapping sounds and moaning

matt starts pulling my hair, leaving me no choice but to tilt my head up

“look at how you sound under me. you’re so perfect for me baby, it’s like you were made for my cock” he says through gritted teeth

matthew doesn’t stop the slamming into me, making it so hard to speak. but i did find my words when i heard the front door open indicating that my roommate was back home

“ma- matt.. my room- roommate is ba- back. we need to be qu- quiet” i try to make out into a sentence

matt bends down into my back and aggressively holds my mouth as he continues to slowly thrust deep into me

i close my eyes and shudder at the stimulation that overtakes my g spit and clit

“y/n? are you ready for the party yet?” my roommate yells from the kitchen

i can’t even bother trying to function out a response to her because i knew it would give away the scene behind my room door right now

it also didn’t help that matt was starting to whisper in my ear about how slutty and nasty i am

i went fuzzy over all the stimulation, i wouldn’t even be able to conjure up a sentence if i wanted too

i just hope she doesn’t walk in here because lord knows how i would be able to explain this to her later.

matt starts whispering in my ear about how good i feel and how bad he wants to cum

my pussy starts to tighten at the incoming orgasm that we’re about to share

“baby you’re clenching around me so tight.. i’m gonna-“

the door swings open, “y/-“ she stops as she realizes the scene in front of her

i clench around matt’s cock and let orgasm out as he continues to thrust and meet my orgasm halfway

she looks horrified, i feel terrible

“fuck. i’m sorry” she says before quickly walking back out

i can’t even focus on what just happened, i continue to fuck back into matt’s cock and ride out my high as he does the same

after a few seconds of deep breaths and calming down, i fully realize what had just happened

“matt oh my god. that’s so embarrassing” i snicker out of humiliation

he pulls out and flips me over so he can get a better look at me

“to be fair we should of locked the door” he laughs back

“I DIDNT KNOW SHE WOULD COME BACK THAT QUICK!!” i say while covering my face in embarrassment

“god it’s probably gonna be soo awkward now.” i continue

“orrr.. this could make you closer!” matt says

“you’re just saying shit” i laugh

“yeah! cause the world isn’t going to stop because your roommate saw me fucking you into oblivion” he continues

i stare at him in silence

“i mean.. i was putting shit DOWN. and now she knows how you really get”

“you’re actually no help.” i say with a fake frown trying to hold back my laugh

he smiles, “whatever. let’s finish getting ready so we can go to this party”

———————————————————————

a/n- thank you guys so much for 500 followers 🥹🥹 i literally started this account 11 days ago!! love you guys so much

@bernardsleftbootycheek <33

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hollybell51 · 2 years

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Soup

Series masterlist, masterpost

Newt x fem!Reader

Maze Runner, (2009 novel - James Dashner, 2014 film - Wes Ball), the Fever Code (2016 novel - James Dashner)

Word count: 1438

Summary: your favourite time of day is when the runners get back from the maze, because that’s when you get to see Newt again. It is Frypan’s least favourite time of day, because it means dealing with both of you.

Content: implied/referenced making out, kissing, hand holding (*gasp*), alcohol (mentioned), ehhh I think that’s it

Notes: I like to imagine Newt used to be much happier and brighter before the whole leg thing (hence the Fever Code as source material since it’s kinda pre-canon), so I wrote him like that here. He deserves happiness. Also I’m in love with his smile.

You stood up, stretching your arms over your head to ease the ache in your back and shoulders. The sun was just beginning to sink behind the walls, and that meant two things. Firstly, that the doors would be closing soon. Secondly, and much more importantly, it meant that the runners who hadn’t already returned would be back any minute now.

As you turned to survey the closest door – the western one – three figures appeared, jogging smoothly into the Glade. You could watch them run all day, you thought. You could watch him run all day. Your eyes followed one of the figures as he stopped, hands on his hips, and looked around. The setting sun glanced off his hair, lighting it up like molten gold even from this distance. He raised a hand, waving to you before walking in your direction.

“(Y/N)!” he called as he drew closer. “Alright, love?”

“Sure am now that you’re back,” you returned.

Newt just smiled and shook his head, slinging his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side.

“You stink!” you protested, struggling against his hold.

He snorted, tightening his grip momentarily before letting you go. “And you would too if you’d been running around the shuck Maze all day.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Honestly, you were just glad he was back. Every day ran the risk of Grievers, getting lost, not making it back before sundown, and countless other things you weren’t aware of. And you weren’t even sure if what they were doing out there was making a difference.

“If it’s gonna stop you coming within a metre of me I’ll take a shower,” he said, snapping you back to the present. “D’you know how far away dinner is?”

You smiled at him. “You go do that, and I’ll find out.”

Newt bent to place a soft kiss on your cheek, then turned to go. He stopped after a few steps, spinning back to face you, a grin dancing on his face.

“What?” you sighed.

“Wanna come with me?”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “In the shower?”

“Save water,” he shrugged.

“Since when have you been so keen on saving water?”

“Oi,” he said, pointing a finger at you. “I’ll have you know that I am very passionate about conserving our resources.”

“Mmm, sure, conserving resources.”

“So? Yay or nay?”

You screwed up your face, weighing your options. You definitely would like a shower, you’d like a shower with Newt even more, but… “Can’t,” you said, pointing at the pile of carrots lying by your feet. “Frypan’s waiting on this.”

Newt shook his head. “Bummer, you’re missing out.”

“You’ll have to make it up to me next time,” you smiled.

“Will do.” He clapped his hands, then spun and resumed his trek towards the shower.

You watched him for a moment, then bent back to your task. You’d started talking to Newt almost as soon as you’d arrived in the glade. He was friendly where lots of others weren’t, and didn’t seem to be as hung up about the fact that you were one girl among twenty guys as so many of them were. He was nice, chatty, he made you laugh. It had only been a few weeks when you’d realised you liked him as something more than a friend, and not too long after that that you’d gotten together – courtesy of one of the boys working out how to make moonshine.

You couldn’t remember the night as clearly as you’d have liked – thanks to said moonshine – but you did remember the bonfire, and the way he’d looked. He’d been glowing, like he was lit up from the inside, and you’d been totally mesmerised by everything he did. Then he’d taken your hands and pulled you into the clumsiest music-less dance you’d ever experienced (it was the only one, but you were sure nothing would ever top it), and kissed you, to your horror, in front of everyone. He’d apologised the morning after and you’d talked about it, and while you’d (mostly) forgiven him in light of the fact that he was a damn good kisser, it was still something you brought up when you wanted to make him squirm.

Now, you shook the dirt of the last carrot and stood once more, the vegetables dangling from your hands by their leafy ends in two bunches. They weren’t all too big and were twisted in weird shapes, but they tasted good once Frypan got his hands on them.

You crossed the space to the kitchen, dumping the carrots unceremoniously in the sink with a curt announcement of “carrots.”

“Hello to you too, (Y/N),” the cook said sarcastically. “I’m well, thanks for asking.”

“Great to hear,” you replied. “Newt wants to know what’s for dinner.”

“Newt can wait and see.”

You sighed, leaning heavily on the counter. “Please? He won’t leave me alone if I don’t find out.”

“He’s only gotta wait an hour, he can suffer like everybody else.”

“You’re ruthless, Fry. And after I spent the better part of the afternoon pulling out all those carrots–”

“It took you twenty minutes.”

“--you don’t even have the good grace to tell me what they’re gonna be used for. Is it bologna? Is it a pie? Does it have sauce? Come on man, give me something.”

“Jesus ok!” he relented, throwing his hands up. “It’s vegetable soup.”

You tilted your head to the side, slightly disappointed. “Soup? The kind with all the little bits in it or the kind that’s blended up?”

“With the little bits in it.”

“Oh,” you said. “Ok then.”

The cook crossed his arms, frowning at you. “You got a problem with it?”

“No,” you shook your head. “I like soup.” It wasn’t a lie, you did like soup. You just didn’t like the sadly stewed vegetables floating in the saltiest watery stock you could imagine that was what Frypan called veggie soup. At least it was hot.

“Good, cause we’re having it tomorrow too.”

You hummed, flicking at a carrot. Before Frypan could say anything else, a pair of warm hands settled on your waist. Maybe Newt did like saving water after all.

Frypan groaned, looking skywards as if to the heavens. “And now there’s two.”

“Sure is,” Newt said, his chin resting on your shoulder and his arms snaking around your waist. “Do I still stink?”

You pretended to sniff deeply, then shook your head. “Fresh a daisy. Veggie soup for dinner, with the little chunky bits in it.”

“Chunky bits? I love the chunky bits.”

“You better,” Fry snorted, “blender conked out. It’s gonna be chunky everything for the next three days.”

You felt Newt shrug. “Texture,” he said.

“Also we’re having it tomorrow as well,” you told him.

“Will there be bread?”

“There’s always bread.”

“Yes,” Frypan sighed. “There will be bread. Now will two piss off so I can actually make it? Go make out or whatever you do in your free time.”

You turned your head, drawing back to meet Newt’s gaze. “You wanna go make out?”

“I would like nothing better,” he grinned.

“Awesome. Thanks Fry,” you called as Newt took your hand, leading you away from the more crowded areas of the glade.

“You can have my bread if I can have your soup,” he said as soon as you were out of earshot of the kitchen.

“Deal. I don’t know how you like that stuff.”

“I don’t know how you don’t.”

“It’s so watery and salty,” you complained. “And the veggies are always too soggy.”

“It’s just the right salty, and the veggies are suitably soft. That pie we had last week, however–”

You gasped. “That pie was heaven-sent!”

“It was so dry! I felt like my mouth was the freaking Sahara desert after eating it. And it had no flavour.”

“Because you didn’t put the relish on it. Mine was delicious.”

“I’m sure it was to you,” he said. “I didn’t like it.”

“Just like I don’t like the veggie soup. The pumpkin soup, however…”

Newt hummed in agreement. “That bloody pumpkin soup.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “That was good.”

“So.” He turned to you, raising an eyebrow. “Making out?”

You pretended to think for a moment, then grinned. “Better do what the cook tells us, right?”

“Right, wouldn’t wanna miss out on that soup.”

“Shut up,” you said, grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him.

“Ok,” he murmured against your mouth, his hands sliding once more to rest around your waist. You smiled into the kiss, pressing close to him. God, you were grateful for that stupid moonshine.

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hannahsmusings · 10 months

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Renee

*I just wanted to pick her up and carry her as she said she could be good, wanting to shower her with all the praise and affection that a Little could want, but she wasn’t mine to praise and I had to control myself, especially considering our past and her future, I could not cross that line* Yes, cutie, you did so good. So proud of you. *I kiss the top of her head as we continue walking, ignoring some odd looks we were getting from people in the lobby considering Jen looked like a newborn deer, barely able to walk normally in her heels since she wasn’t used to them plus she was drunk* *I giggle as she leans her entire weight against me on the elevator, my free hand slipping around her waist and holding her close as I press our floor button, nodding* Yes, we can definitely get some nachos. Maybe a burger too? We can sleep but we need to eat first, okay? *I knew I needed to get proper food into her stomach, knowing it would help massively with her inevitable hangover the next morning, along with some painkillers and lots and lots of water* *we slowly make our way down the hall once the elevator doors open, Jen starting to really struggle with her heels so going slow so she didn’t fall* *I grab the keycard from my purse, leading us into the room, my hand still wrapped around her waist, leading her to her room* You made it back, cutie! *I look up at her as I praise her for just getting back to the room, smiling widely at her, her cheeks that gorgeous pink shade that I loved, letting her flop down onto the mattress* You wanna get changed while I order us some room service? *I was desperate to change her, wanting her to depend on me in that way, wanting to tuck her in and read her a damn bedtime story but I couldn’t just start undressing her, not with our past and not when she was drunk, if she asked me for help though of course I’d help her*

____________________________

*i was preening at your affection, seeking it more than usual due to not receiving this from Michael, him often taking my polished and perfect nature for granted so it was nice to be messy and chaotic and still be praised* Thanks Nay Nay. *grins, my whole body basically pressed against you in the elevator before stumbling a little as we get off at our floor, nodding at your instructions* M’kay. Food first. *grins, letting you lead us to the room and appreciating your support for balance as I giggle happily when we get in the room and turening to look at you* We made it. Yay. *flops onto the mattress before groaning as my head spins, pouting and furrowing my brow as I kick my legs out in an effort to get my heels off, struggling a little and letting out a little whine* *huffs and gives up on the heels as I reach for the zipper on the side of my dress, pulling it down and managing to get the top part below my breasts, wearing a black lacy bra to match the look but quickly giving up as I get myself tangled, whimpering a little before turning to you and making grabby hands* Help, please. I wanna be in my jammies. *pouts as I look up at you through my lashes, sitting up a little and sighing as my dress falls around my middle, my bra on show and lifting a leg as I try and gesture for you to take off my heels*

#renee plot

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mammons-wife · 2 years

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I wanna take Mammon to Universal Studios in Orlando,

I wanna show him the Wizarding world of Harry Potter,

I wanna take him to get his robes and clothes,

I wanna take him to the wand show and let him find his wand,

I want to take him for gilly water, butter beer and every snack they have to offer,

I wanna take him to the little shops to buy every little thing he wants,

I want to buy us matching Chocolate Frog keychains.

I want to take a video of his first time seeing the dragon breath fire

I wanna take him on the rides and see his face light up when we ride The Hogwarts Express

I wanna spend the day taking him around with one of the expensive wands you wave around and they do magic things and see how his face lights up when it finally works after the sixth failure

I wanna kiss his face and hold his hand when he looks so star struck at everything around him

I wanna run around like idiots in our robes screaming spells and pretending to be hit by one another’s spell

I wanna take him to Wesleys’ Wizard Wheezes and watch him while he’s in awe at everything and buy us matching necklaces or rings or anything

I wanna stay late into the night walking up and down the Orlando Strip staring at the lights walking hand and hand talking and laughing loudly disturbing all the business and tourists

I wanna go to the arcade and laugh at each other’s fails and try again

I wanna spend hours walking around doing anything and everything,

I wanna stand in the middle of the intersection with him holding up our car plate kissing and blocking the road so when we get home we’ll have a memorable picture and a fine to pay

I wanna lay in a hotel pool laughing and splashing until the staff tells us the pools closed

I wanna head to bed after a hot shower turn down the ac and snuggled under the thick white blankets that fill me with a sense of nostalgia and comfort,

I wanna lay my head on his chest and hug his wait and look up at him, one arm behind his head the other hugging me back and he’s smiling down with lidded eyes, the only sound is the ac and nay faint traffic in the background

I wanna kiss him goodnight and exchange whispered I love you’s and soft kisses before we sleep

I wanna wake up late in the day still holding onto him, the sun through the sheer curtains waking us up before we finally get up to realize we missed breakfast and head out to the closest breakfast places where we stuff our faces and talk about yesterday like it’s a distant memory

I wanna hold his hand and share a kiss while we’re walking back to our hotel

I wanna spend our day at the mall or outlets store hopping trying on clothes and putting on fashion shows

At the end of the day in the back of a Taxi, I wanna pull him close but the face watch him get flustered and whisper “There is absolutely no one else I would rather be with in this life or the next, I really do love you Mammon, you mean everything to me.” Before we share long kiss and break into a fit of laughs and share another short kiss while we hold hands and smile.

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blood-for-sport · 3 years

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Wildfires

The light from the street lamps cascaded through the haze copulated with the fall of rain. The droplets tapped to the stone, wetting them down from the dust of a dry day. Nayleen's hand pressed to the wooden door before her, swinging it inward and granting her respite from the waters to come.

Within the interior, free from the world outside, Nayleen allowed equal freedom to her body. Shed of the armors that covered her frame, left only in the cotton cloth that constituted her comforts in her gear. Comfortable it was not, given the sweat that now cooled inside the threads of the fabric lending to a displeasing sensation.

A sigh. Low and steady departed her lips as she settled to the couch before the fireplace crackling with a fresh log. Connor had indeed been here, the homestead now silent. Until a figure shaped in the doorway to her left.

The young woman stepped inward, a face once possessed of stark childhood youth now marked with the rapid approach of teenage years. Harper settled beside Nayleen, scooting a bit to settle in the crease between the cushions which provided a sort of cradle. She looked over to her mother, the woman's haggard appearances a commonplace recently.

Recently? Always.

Harper looked toward the kitchen, then back to Nayleen.

"Want some pudding? Some left over. Chilling in the icebox." She stated with an effort to brighten Nay's mood. It was met with a shrug from the woman and something muttered, inaudible.

"Come on. Open up. Talk." Harper was a little more stern with her words now. "I'm going to start asking for money, you know. With how often I need to pick you up." More efforts at humor. This managed a smile from the woman to her side, Nayleen's eyes lifting to look over at Harper.

"Mmh.. don't think I earned pudding tonight. That's usually reserved for good people. I've been bad." Nayleen returned with an attempt at humor but her tone was exhausted. Harper picked up on the nature and responded with a shake of her head.

"This is medical pudding. Meant to cure broken hearts and heal dropped spirits."

Nayleen closed her eyes, lifting a hand out to rest to Harper's head at the side. The ebon-haired youth scooted in, letting herself rest against Nayleen and receive a gentle kiss atop her head.

"You smell like sweat and metal." She mused.

"Thanks." Nayleen responded.

"Are you going to shower before bed?"

"Maybe."

"You should. And the hot water might help."

Nayleen smirked to herself, letting a hand draw up and comb through Harper's hair. She didn't wish to sour a peaceful moment with turbulent thought, and yet the nature of those very thoughts forbade peace in its entirety.

"Pissed off some people, today. Let myself go off. Just.. snapped. I was seeing red."

"Did you hurt someone?" Harper inquired, concern in her tone.

"Nah. Nothing like.. just got into a fight with some friends. Verbal. Came off looking like the cun-..n-.. uh.. crap.. person."

Harper seemed to miss the bad deflection off the curse word, more intent on her focus of Nayleen.

"You always told me to stand my ground and speak my mind."

"Different.." Nay countered.

"How?"

"Because I'm no use to this group if they are more afraid of me than they are confident in me." She copied some words spoken by another that evening. "I can't bludgeon respect.."

"Bludgeon.." Harper milled over the word.

"Means to hit or beat. Basically I can't beat my way into people's good graces. I wanna keep em safe but.. if I push em all away, I won't be there when they need me."

Harper remained silent, backchanneling small hums to know Nayleen she was still listening but had nothing to add at the moment. Nay took the cue to continue, though there was not much left to say.

"Think I can maybe have some of that pudding?" She muttered, and Harper sat up to stand.

"Bet." She noted, moving toward the fridge. Nayleen stood, turning and walking toward Harper. She lowered to her knee, drawing the attention of the young thing. Harper didn't need any more. She stepped in, wrapping her arms around Nayleen's neck and letting her be swept into a tight embrace.

"I love you.." Nayleen muttered. "More than I love anything. More than the Collective, even. I'll keep you safe.."

Harper closed her eyes, resting her head to Nayleen's shoulder.

"I'm going to keep you safe." Nayleen repeated.

"I know."

"I promise."

"I know."

"You can count on that."

"I know, mom."

Nayleen finally released Harper, holding hands to the girl's shoulders and holding them at a width apart. She looked over Harper's face, dusting a few loose strands of black hair from her features.

Have to die next.

"So you want that pudding?"

Have to be next.

"Sure, Harper."

Can't be next.

"Sweet, it's chocolate. But like, the good chocolate."

They need you.

"Excellent. I can't wait to be in a sugar coma."

She needs you.

"Don't worry mom. I'll make sure you don't overdo it."

I need you.

"Good. I need you."

#stories

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nadjastersurveys · 3 years

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Randomly Random - Part 1

Middle name? I don’t feel like revealing my middle names here.

Favorite color(s)? I like purple but every color can be nice.

What college do you want to/or are attending? I’m not attending a college/university right now and I have no idea if I ever even will.

What do you want to/are you majoring in? -

Democrat/republican/other? Other?

Birthday month? I was born in October

Do you dress according to your mood? I’m not sure, I don’t really pay attention to that lol but I dress according to the weather and where I’m going to though.

Tomboy/girlie girl I still don’t know lol. I guess mostly a bit more tomboyish.

Are you good at doing hair/make up? I don’t wear makeup and the only hairdo I do is that I put my hair up in a ponytail lol.

Do you wear glasses? No.

Can you drive? No.

Are you shy? In front of people I don’t know, but I wouldn’t call myself shy in general.

Are you always worried or stressed about something? Not always but I get stressed and worried really easily.

Tell me about your dream wedding. I don’t dream about having a wedding lol.

Randomly Random - Part 2

Do you like to sing? When I’m alone, yes.

Do you like to write poetry? I don’t think I’ve ever actually done that.

Can you swim? I can but I’m not a swimmer, so I’m not good at that.

Do you like the pool or the ocean? I prefer actually swimming in the pool. I just dip my feet and maybe legs in the ocean/lake.

Do you hate water in your face? Well no unless it gets in my eyes lol.

Do you hold grudges? Noo, I don’t feel like that solves anything.

Are you/have you ever been in love? I don’t know, I feel like I am right now though.

Do you/did you ever sleep with a teddy bear?if so who gave it to you? I have a big bunny plush toy in my bed but not a bear. My mom bought it for me haha.

Are you a very random person? I don’t even know what that means lol.

What do you do when you’re nervous? I tap my fingers on everything and just do anything with my hands.

Do you love making new friends? Yeah it’s fun because I’m not very good at getting to know people.

Do you like the twilight series? Never read/watched those.

Favorite animal? Cats.

Randomly Random - Part 3

Do you have any pets? We have two cats.

What would you name your daughter? I haven’t thought about it yet lol.

^ your son? ^

What length hair do you like in a guy & why? Whatever fits them pretty much but I’d say boys with a bit shorter hair are usually more attractive, especially like a buzzcut lol.

Do you have friends who are shorter than you? No I’m the shortest.

When you get mad do you cry? Sometimes yeah but it just depends on the thing I’m mad about.

Would you ever consider modeling? Nah.

What color eyes do you wish you had? I'm happy with my eye color but sometimes I wish for more lighter brown eyes, like amber eyes.

Silver/gold jewelry? Silver.

Do you always wear jewelry? My earrings and my nose ring are the only jewelry I wear.

Are you afraid of needles? Not really.

How many kids do you want? I don’t know yet.

Long/short nails? Short but not too short.

Do you like wearing hats? Sometimes yeah.

Randomly Random - Part 4

Do you love taking pics? Yeah it can be fun.

Do you sunburn easily? Not super easily, no.

Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? I've never seen mall Santas or Easter bunnies haha.

Do you prefer to call a person or wait for them to call you? I like when people call me first for sure but sometimes you just have to call first.

Are you scared of crossing bridges? Those wonky bridges, yes lol but I’ve never had to cross one.

Do you have a short attention…oh squirrel…span? Yeah.

Do you hate sitting in silence but get irritated if someone talks too much? Well yes something in the middle of those two is nice.

Has anyone ever called you baby or hun? No.

What’s your favorite kind of chocolate? Milk chocolate.

Would you consider yourself clumsy? I can be pretty clumsy.

Do you hate using public restrooms? Yess I try to avoid them as much as possible.

Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? No guy has ever picked me up in his arms haha but sure, that would be nice especially if he’s someone I like.

Ever bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? Yes but that was ages ago.

Do you hate chihuahuas? I don’t.

Randomly Random - Part 5

Has a teacher ever made you hate your favorite subject? Nope.

Do you like hairless cats? Yeah I think they look cool and kind of mysterious.

Did you ever cry at school? Yep.

Have you ever had a poem or story published? Nope.

If you had/have a kid would you ever let them get a tattoo? Well if they’re old enough then yes.

What’s your favorite thing to have for dinner? Just something with chicken or fish.

Would you ever paint your walls red? Nah, I like them white.

Have you ever licked a pole? No lol.

Has your hand ever gotten slammed in a car door? No but my head has lol.

Are you allergic to grass? No.

Do you love guinea pigs? Yeah they’re pretty cute.

Do you prefer to write on chalkboards or white boards? Chalkboards are nice but I wouldn’t mind writing on a white board either lol. It doesn’t matter.

What is the worst thing you ever did that got you grounded? I don’t know if I’ve ever been grounded haha. I’m not sure what that even actually means. I was sent to my room a lot when I was an annoying 7-10 year old though lol.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now so yes.

Randomly Random - Part 6

What would you do if your best girlfriend said she was lesbian? I’d support any friend who tells me that.

Have you ever been chased by a snake? No.

Where do you wanna work? I don’t know.

Is there something you tell yourself you’re going to do but never do? There’s some things, like I’ve been meaning to watch this one movie for like 6 months now.

Has a teacher ever called you an idiot? Not to my knowledge but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did lol.

What awards have you won? Medals from dance competitions.

Do you get nervous eating in front of people? Usually no, but that has happened.

Would you consider yourself good at taking care of kids? I've never actually taken care of kids so probably not now.

How old would a guy have to be before you wouldn’t date them? Right at this age I wouldn’t date anyone older than 18.

Be honest, have you ever tried weed? No.

Has anyone ever broken up with you with a note? Never broken up with anyone before.

Have you walked into a wall? I’m sure I have.

Do you have sensitive teeth? No.

Do you sleep with a fan on? In summer if it’s really hot.

Randomly Random - Part 7

When you hear sirens, do you get afraid its someone you know? When I see a firetruck go with sirens on I always worry if it’s going to our house.

Do you often get nosebleeds in the winter? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a nosebleed because of winter lol.

What’s a word you use to substitute for a cuss word? I don’t use substitutes for swear words lol.

What was the worst thing you ever did to get detention/suspended? I’ve had detention mostly for forgetting to do my homework.

Have you ever suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder? No.

Have you tried the new crackle nail polish? No.

Do you enjoy the “i love you more” argument? No lol.

Do you like the color yellow? Yeah I like it.

Trees are awesome! Yes? Why not.

Do you suffer from nasal allergies? I don’t.

Marrying your cousin. Yay or nay? Well, no lol.

Are you distracted by anything shiny at the moment? Ooo shiny!! No.

Has your parents ever called you names? Like mean names? No like they were trying to be mean, they were just telling the truth haha, like lecturing me if I did/do something annoying or wrong.

Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball…i have soo gross Yes.

Randomly Random - Part 8

Have you ever had a tooth pulled, i have : / No, the thought of that scares me.

Do you still watch tom and jerry? : ) I’ve never watched that but I read the comics often as a little girl haha.

Do you use your hairbrush as a microphone? No lol.

What’s your usual morning routine? I get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, get some breakfast and get dressed properly if I have to go somewhere.

Do you ever get bored with something so you’re unable to finish it? Yes I get bored so easily it’s ridiculous.

Do you wanna redecorate your room? I’m happy with my room.

Have you ever worn black to someone’s house & left covered in fur? Haha yes people who have cats have cat hair everywhere around their house usually, just like our house.

What would i expect to find under your bed? Just dust lol.

If i were to walk into your room, would i be able to see the floor? Yes it’s not messy and I hate when I have stuff that is not furniture on the floor.

What is something you did when you were a kid that you still enjoy? Dancing is one thing.

Has anyone ever said they would love you forever, was it true? I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me.

Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No but I sometimes watch some clips of it on YouTube.

Do you ever sit and look at old photo albums & recall memories? Yes that’s fun.

Do you watch onision on YouTube, if not you should he’s hilarious. This didn’t age well lol. I’ve seen some of his first videos and yeah they’re pretty funny but now he’s in deep shit and so many people hate him. I feel so uneasy and weird watching his new videos also because he disabled the comments in the videos and you can’t see the likes or dislikes either.

Randomly Random - Part 9

Don’t you just hate taking showers in the winter? Noo, I like it but I like taking showers in any season.

Do you say “epic fail” a lot? I’ve never said that lol.

How personal does a question have to be so that you wont answer? In surveys? I wouldn’t tell my last name or the place i live in like the adress.

Do you ever feel like sometimes you have short term memory loss? Yes because I have really bad memory.

What if a stranger came up to you yelled BATMAN & ran away? I would jump a little because it’s something I don’t expect to happen lol.

What’s your favorite kind of pudding? Vanilla or caramel.

Did you ever run over something with a lawn mower? Never used a lawn mower.

When someone says don’t look do you look? Well sometimes.

Have you ever played spin the bottle? Once yeah.

Did you ever have a cat that was obsessed with shoes? No lol.

I believe i can fly! Ever jump off things & try to fly? I haven’t haha.

What was your first Halloween costume? I’ve never dressed for Halloween I think.

Ever have chicken pox? Yep.

Did you eat your Wheaties this morning ? What was for breakfast? I had a smoothie and crackers for breakfast lol.

#survey #feeelsss good to be baaackk

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valkyrja-pride · 4 years

Text

Mon Petit Portefeuille

Since I felt like organizing my artwork more efficiently, I took inspiration from my writer friends and collected all the art I posted here so far.

If you feel like my art is worthy your praise, buy me a ko-fi perhaps?

Update: 04/03/2020

【ＳＦＷ】

Devil May Cry

Invictus fanzine piece - Dante eating pizza

Birthday gift - mechanic!Nero for SilverSapphyre

Nero throwing you kisses

Dante hearts you

Date night with the DMC boiz

Sketch practice with a thousand Neros

partial-DT Nero for SilverSapphyre’s Shorty 07

ᴄᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ - Nero

April Fools special with Dante (no clothes! careful!)

Tokyo Ghoul

Furuta Nimura - Don’t wanna hear about it

Haise Sasaki Birthday

Ayato - new re:appearance

Dolce & Gabbana

Free!

Water practice - Yamazaki Sousuke

【ＮＳ/ＦＷ】 All to be found on my Newgrounds!

Devil May Cry

A good morning for Nero

Yūgen Vergil (birthday gift for Nana)

Vergil showers after a long day (birthday gift for Nai)

A bedroom invite á la Vergil (hearty snipe gift for Tigs)

Leave that hoodie on, Nero!

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sirjustice1204 · 3 years

Text

Me aint gangsta dude

play ps4 or 5 games on ya android phone as download from the link below

https://www.playstation.com/en-us/playstation-app/

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-google-coop&ei=2r_YX9hBpaSDB_idhpgE&q=ps4+smartphone+list+of+games&oq=ps4+smartphone+list+of+games&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQAzIICCEQFhAdEB4yCAghEBYQHRAeMggIIRAWEB0QHjIICCEQFhAdEB4yCAghEBYQHRAeOgQIABBHOgUIABDJAzoGCAAQFhAeOgUIIRCgAToHCCEQChCgAToECCEQFVCpNFiWW2C1YGgBcAJ4AIABrQKIAegZkgEGMi0xMy4xmAEAoAEBqgEHZ3dzLXdpesgBCMABAQ&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwjYlrGrkdDtAhUl0uAKHfiOAUMQ4dUDCAw&uact=5

Even big solar panels or thermostat in grave produces power to step up to be used with any type of sensor at metal, Gun or sensor lights and alarms that has software u control and check within ya smartphone and even connect to GPS bracelets as u can place on corpse or hide inside the casket to monitor if their is tamper with the grave or grave exhumation.

U must just cry sometimes, me am not gangster with the next option of ambushing 1, i got no second hope or anywhere if i lose my wealth or web well/computer to get some or not know the link as which i got have been disabled dude and even that woman if she cries not within an intercourse she is gangsta, as a woman give in 2 cry to diffuse the same and make u free, a something that is investigated dude

How to kill amoeba in ya stomach, step on lizard on brown box immersed on acid with carrot on plastic tiles, the 1 who talks to the Devil grabs the part in ya system is at at current and then chop mango seed within book paper on card boards kills the same or step on lizard on brown box on tomato heap flattened either in a hole or floor to meet the floor and the grab the part the Amoeba is attachted at present b4 chop kale on wood soaked on onion

Hole on tortilla on welding plate or grass sand mud environment makes GPS maps, or paw paw heap and guava, step on the area map folded within welding plate on mango seed flattened heap placed on hole or just on the normal floor b4 u step on lizard within iron roof on book paper with much oil down cereals or grass sand environment makes such phones with that software as u change the step animal or cereal 4 anything as u try gives u 4 computer, tablets and more in Cd or flash disk dude, 4 the lizard one step on hay within metallic plates on coated metallic plates or yam or cassava, waru or starch or grass sand land on shallow hole on the floor or curve or on slab with sewer water, black beans or fruit presence around dude

How to connect and play ps4 or 5 from 2 different ends as in the links below, even from 2 cities dude

https://www.google.com/search?q=ps4%20smartphone%20list%20of%20games&tbm=isch&tbs=rimg:CaWqFkddBHgCYcgmDL_10rftI&client=ms-google-coop&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CAIQrnZqFwoTCPjZ08aV0O0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAG&biw=1263&bih=846

https://android.gadgethacks.com/how-to/play-your-favorite-ps4-games-remotely-any-android-device-0162622/

Mobile money booth as below made when paw paw placed in hay add cooked kale soup with soap bar, in container placed within roadside tunnel or cut like a shovel container within sand land, b4 u step on cabbage within kale hole and welding hole on maize or replace with any fruit, veggies or leaves 4 maize, b4 u chop hay bars on wood soaked in pineapple juice and match stick rubbed on or rolled on the head the rough end to hit with hammer or stone to burst or place electronic lighter as well withing and boom ya booth dude in dim light bro

Starts frowning with me as bursting, when another tribe wants another breeding forth kids who got much character of both to disturb to make them an outcast as they are known, being monitored if can continue with or not as can be of detriment and of help in the future to the society more than their owns they know dude

Mobile money nay are convenient as u need no ready cash and rush not to the bank downtown as the withdrawal stores nearby even in the hamlets next to ya, and that's the convenient and hard to withdraw cash without the drawee knowing ya or having ya ID card, not the word convenience is sweet dude but still not all that convenient when u replace 1 sim card with 1 as just is inconvenience to the person helping ya with the same dude. It will be more convenient if the place booths with all security features as wireless camera at the card swiping center, gun and metal sensors and camera and even non touch temperature sensors as where the card swipe should be inside to take the temp of ya hands and when bent to do the same takes of ya 4head as a feature of face recognition must be applied or finger print to make you not escape dude and even when not withdrawing the camera and the detectors captures u so u r captured as the firm can have police drones to get ya and that machine under armored glass cover u cant break dude and that's the meaning of convenience dude as am told

On the machines all names of the mobile money operators per ward are written and u locate via the registered business names and even shops that take not only cash but u can buy via the mobile money platform directly, their names 4 the business or codes given with their ID numbers to select to send money at those a/c with the machine or via ya phone or computer b4 returning to them with ya original ID 4 confirmation to withdraw cash as get ya cash and can have the sensors as above to confirm ya case even more or get the goods/services u have purchased bro as in the link below

https://zdtech.en.made-in-china.com/product/DCxmYlivANkw/China-Buy-and-Sell-2-Way-Kiosk-with-Software-Digital-Cryptocurrency-Bitcoin-ATM.html

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Smart-library-automatic-borrow-and-return_60840144193.html

https://www.bloomberg.com/businessweek

https://www.alamy.com/moscow-russia-circa-july-2018-self-ordering-kiosks-at-kfc-restaurant-in-sheremetyevo-international-airport-image229558647.html

https://m.made-in-china.com/product/Foreign-to-Local-1-Way-Currency-Exchange-Machine-775864642.html

Cabbage in hay, on slab of factory house, step on ground nut husk with it, within circular disc round hole in the middle on welding plates or container gotten out part of steel or on carpet and try standing in all last resting floor of all boom process mentioned above 4 wider results b4 u chop ripe paw paw and raw kale with its cooked soup counterpart on board soaked in pineapple juice in mud and even in cereals, grass as u cant try with individual test personally 4 more roughly outcome dude as in the link below 4 ya city or area code and as well try in all boom surfaces name on the following of this tumblr a/c

https://www.amazon.com/Vehicle-GPS-Units-Navigation/b?ie=UTF8&node=559938

Or take the photo even 4 drone as google or on CD or banner and place close to 1 heap, like in the link below close to like kale after folding into 2 halves or into a triangle as the end folders meet in the middle and 4 some anywhere as u try and place the meeting points looking up or into a corner looking up on slab b4 u step on like hay within made hole on groundnut husk on grass sand land placing the name of ya area code in the middle of the two steps layers or just the whole map with made hole b4 chopping like hay on wood soaked on paraffin with mango juice with ripe seed on and try with all juices of ripe seeds and veggies or berries and gate ya drone or Bracelet software 4 ya city dude

https://www.scramsystems.com/monitoring/scram-gps/

Saying 1 is sleeping with women left right or harassing kids, which if not under camera can be heresy yet people planing the same funds to be truth to hinder ya steps. U now got the GPS bracelet trackers 4 wrist and ankle, place on every women or man or kid, either from outside or shift within bones and glue with plasticine esp those with thermostat that needs n battery 4 recharging and monitor using the GPS the point of accident at that time as it records and should be on internet 4 every citizen lets say from 5 years to sell such or create market 4 the same, instead of priding people they see things on the eye and not only that people transfigure into others and even snakes, b4 doing the same u rush and confirm such case was not registered and deemed to be killed. Kill snake dude and even impregnating women as on the radar it signals they were close at the same longitude/latitude and not brothers or men and if two men of same family either relaxing or in a crime if at night and even removable with elastic hard clothe like 1, if u remove its know and u gotten as at bathing time u alerted the authorities at what time u shower they know u have removed them and even viewable to the public under net provided they know ya identity, if such software not out, talk to those firms to make 4 ya cite area or country as u zoom out every code u want and in, instead of being in beef with them dude

I was just pretending i love women, as it goes well with me in all my undertakings as with the cyber and my daily business, as people became lenient to ya, as i avoid much words with them and move on but now its to much as if u dont get with them the spoil the same as written above. So women we got the above as u say i can kill 1 or hurt one, will be known and me arrested and if hurting one, u see what they want to harm u with and we got the metabolic sensors even now on phones to detect the same to leave me all alone as what do u want, to eat me that if u eat me u write good or talk, and the question is who did i eat to talk like u want to with eating corpse, exhume dude or follow what am doing with my daily lives, get to the USA or EU and get friends in the jail to instruct ya or some zones if u stay u be like me if u wanna be just ask me not building ya won dude. They do all the shit, now the truth but heaping on u so u get pissed off and commit something bad as murder to leave the world cause they see ya as an end to their ordinance and control telling other nations how machines giving the pride made and with killing them or them others we got the radars as above they fear and relent to start drawing back dude or slight disturbance which u know not when it will end rather the hard 1 at 1st when they knew u cant be a head of them. When i got cash they bring kids, excusable but when i have no cash do not bring ya kids to me, period, i got no cash take them to their hooligan fathers we know not but we guess dude and me cant take care of ya kids as u keep on monitoring and the party sending the monies when i have told them the same not to send they ought to stop as they liaise with hooligans to want to ambush me to take the ID with police to impersonate to withdraw the very cash to share and even Russians, u see them combing hair towards the back meaning they will not relent seeing ya with money lest attacked dude

My ID no Kevin Nelson Omondi, ID no is 26540140, all my Equity kenya and Coop bank closed so any food, chemical, clothe, cars, aeroplane and millitary which has been opened as a result of all my readings as in all the following of tumblr sirjustice4 a/c should desist in doing the same and if still active, they are rude and 1 wants to have my identity to do the same as abobe dude and even with China not listening, once i gave the all as above and made much, they ought to have gotten the Hindu out, so have the respect to stop the white bad thing not joining thinking they have killed the 1 who told them so, only to find out as they were told even more made public to make them baffled to insight youths to buy not made in other nations stuff as utensil but from them, which if u do goes well with u with the authorities as they have bride them dude. Ziba uffa instead of njenga ukuta as swahili word comes handy to warn us with the Chinese as they are playing the same tune or music.

Much tumblr a/c of sirjustice4 aint all my followings some created on the drone up or opened, so as i have signalled ya all my banks closed as i have mentioned earlier, so expect no cash from the same unless banks locate one of same name and maintain the identity dude to leave me all alone, Got me Mr Gay. Some 1 can even open and metion another name of another kevin Nick omondi where N is abbreviated to withdraw when figure prints not confirmed as with a dubious nation, so bank people be warned dude. Kenya still poor lest u know how to make all u imports and save your country foreign exchange and attract a wide tourist influx as if not warned by a neighboring states affects even their tourist inflow as countries nest to Ivory coast u want to get not or Nigeria as birds of the same feathers flock together same with Mexico and Canada not warning USA and with German and Russian or Uk NEIGHBORS with Hindu thing when they happened to move out and even in Asia Hindu Neighboring state should warn the of the same lest affecting their future tourism and even with SA and Tanzania neighbors ought to tell them the same bad thing they are doing to change dude, to quiet or a gimmick to do exactly what am saying up above

I have cleaned my hands, when cant stop or twart my business dealings, women u will not see me with u lest u make me go to another lands of another color so am not wanted to be all alone, good of where u aint wanted but u got food and shelter as with USA. They are enjoying and can take them to hell dude. If u eat Mtura directs ya where good than another place and what if done its more superb, like ksm good than Nairobi even to the poor and u would rather live in KSM than NY if got minimal job if it got good toilets which they want not to place cause good it will be as u save much and movement easy as compared to NY and grave exhumation much the other side and even with getting to jail

U can even buy kid metal detectors and on the blinking lights if detected step up with transformers and if still strong like a meter place in a pipe 1 meter with the detector mouth at the end, while the other opened end still next to the water tap where u reach out any metallic surface to open ya tap as in the links below

https://www.google.com/search?q=toy+metal+detectors&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiOs9vhxc_tAhWL34UKHY56AE4Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=toy+metal+detectors&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzIECAAQGDIECAAQGDoFCAAQsQM6AggAOgQIIxAnOgQIABBDOgYIABAIEB5Qw5qkAViKxaQBYJfSpAFoAHAAeACAAdQEiAGwKZIBCjItMTUuMy4wLjGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=mnDYX47-M4u_lwSO9YHwBA&bih=573&biw=1000&client=firefox-b-e

With me a m weak sexually and if u hear am strong, is just copy pasted text from other texts within Instagram private message i got send to another one or within my left to ya pas-code, stop abusing me with that if like i have learnt ya language good to use it against ya women which they tell u am good and will denounce ya if u harm me to get pissed off and rather resort to the above to monitor me if i can take care of ya kids which am not in a position to do as we were playing poker card and a victor must be out which if not, like in a game it is stopped to evade wars or conflicts as i am looking 4 asylum from a small country not big one as big 1 they might think i want to transverse and be happy and now that we got the bracelet thing as above no hoot but to leave me all alone dude

And like tumblr should open an office or online 1 u send your details if more courtesy of the 1st 1, so they above scheme as above rectified or with any social media. Dont proclaim 1 got like covid yet we got testing gadgets handy Mr white man, i want not return to ya nation 2 ya women, u see no way i can talk to ya, lest am harassed, stop dude and with aids yet what u claim 1 have other have and died but with u not confirmed case meaning u take 1 not 4 a kid but an animal like cow watched if slaughtered his meat sweet and the same thing inducted to me. We want authorities to have no job to get bored and not being in groups in pick up, they like, but personally in motor bikes or their cars as those taking drugs bracelets placed to monitor them. Very bad is police officers poking people aliasing with criminals next thing wants to arrest ya if u block what they were eying dude. In pretense but want ya land but now they cant as u got the radar things as well as them to want them return to me, to sweet talk me or into a deal but 2 late as my tumblr postings on istagram to every nation making the same as them and with gays now turns to my property i live in and if 1 can give me money directly or hurl via my window, i move out, locate a cheap house and pay like 2 years rent b4 i come again to my previous house if not got much money to buy like 1 BR room to dwell in where no 1 can claim and rich and share with him or bring my kids as stated above. No matter how much i explain the same, the next day they still do the above, no relenting. What i hate is 1 i blocked trying to monitor me or be a head and young and timid but knows nothing, a day time thief and a fool only dwelling in lies they have made to keep him on me as above as lame excuse dude

With the mobile money armored glass booth got digital temp sensors and govt taken 4 every 1, so if captures and the machine destroyed we go back to the books and find all those who were there of the same celcious dude if u have no bracelet dude, not false as currently used as of different companies but with the booth of 1 company. And even the commuter service given number displayed digitally on the van or cab within taxi name on the booth platform to send money to their account with a receipt confirmation if u board u give the driver to confirm ya case as even indicate empty seat via a digital sensor on the seat itself or up above to detect if a person is seating on the seat or not to place ya booking and even on ya phone or computer. What cant de done if Nigeria have made digital voting machine to replace the current lofty paper one, then having the same any country can make such and even more and on top of the van got number of that vehicle and the street of operation as in the link below dude

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+seattle+commuter+bus&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwifs7mP1M_tAhWzgHMKHQFtBy8Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=images+of+seattle+commuter+bus&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoFCAAQsQM6AggAOgQIIxAnOgQIABBDOggIABCxAxCDAToHCAAQsQMQQzoGCAAQCBAeOgQIABAYOgQIABAeUKrTHlj-iB9gi44faABwAHgAgAH1AogBoT6SAQYyLTI0LjaYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=qH_YX5-_NLOBzgOB2p34Ag&bih=573&biw=1000&client=firefox-b-e

Something that u think u r superior that u know the mind of criminal keep to yaself dude, Mr Hindu, stop bro, we got the above sensors and jail only if u do the same on 1 past, u bring forth, u make them weak, leave that and build ya nation dude, u r antagonizing people now in a nation now that they know the Minneapolis truth and rich man and Lazarus thing bro and all the biblical truths as above and church offering will be made online as the machine can make u hide your identity as private dude, so not known 4 worship as u give much or 4 victimization u give less or non. Serious bro

They wanted to give people Aids via place infected blood sample on small capsule on corpse b4 the transfer to ya, making u sleep with prostitutes to claim it burst cause people saw u doing the same so infected to sell other govt procurement of Hiv/Aids related drugs or roll the rosted on tiny holed iron mesh okwaju/tamarind seed to treat the same, so know to refute theme even the police amused of nothing to do and even dignitaries as in the links below, wanted much population to do the same but long dead dude

https://www.lfatabletpresses.com/articles/soft-hard-gelatin-capsules

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2019/02/pills-armed-tiny-needles-could-inject-insulin-other-important-meds-directly-stomach

And with Kikuyu, luo like they wanted another war and even if no developments after the white have defeated some Africans at that time who had known how to make machines, they give the procedures as above to snake transfiguring to people the same to make later as theirs personally but many nations had known the same and when whisper put on siren then on drones and with sensors to detect snakes and opened killed those snake a thing The Eu wanted to do when Africans after long have 4gotten the same as above and come again to colonize them destroy genes now cause they need not another knowledge that can come out with a new fuel thing as above when oil deposits finished as the main fear or making other spheres rich than them and they want them poor as Venezuela and Middle east to rule them, a thing that made them colonize Africa cause it was their worry and if not so as above, Africa got sun to charge the battery of E-machine or stima but they did not know how to make the same until Kebi told Germany and point blank as we see in the following tumblr a/c

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? some

What trends do you refuse to give in to? basically all of them What types of perfume/cologne do you like on your preferred sex? none How do you get rid of anxiety? wish I knew! Are you a more of a homebody, or someone who’s always out with friends? homebody Are you materialistic? been told - in a sentimental way, not rich way Would you consider yourself open-minded? no Is there anything in your life right now that needs fixing? my body/mind Would you say that the simple things in life make you happy? they make me smile, I enjoy them Do you come up with your own words or sayings often? yes What’s the first thing you think of when I say ‘pearl necklace’?

Gummi worms: Yay or nay? nay What do you do when you have ‘me time’? why after the question before it sounds so... ekhem... What’s your opinion on Weird Al Yankovic? I liked his SW song Have you ever met someone online that you wanted to meet in real life? yup and met but only one person When was the last time you entertained yourself with shadow puppets? not that long time ago tbh as I like to do that randomly :D

What do you think S.H.C. stands for? school lmfao

Have you ever heard of Salad Fingers? mhm *I like rusty spoons

How do you feel about oldies (50’s-70’s) music? depends on the song

Ford or Dodge? Ford What’s your favorite element: fire, earth, wind or water? I think that most spectacular, in a movie/book, is fire, then wind, earth is most lame but I still dislike water, when it comes to real life then eart would be most interesting instead hahaha but I’m either wind or earth probably

Do you visit craft/hobby stores often? nope

How do you feel about spiked collars? cool

What’s keeping you from going after the person you like? I’ve been writing about it plenty of times...

Who/what brings out the best in you? depends on your definition of “best”

Have you ever watched or read A Clockwork Orange? no and don’t want/plan to

How do you feel about plastic pink flamingos? love

Do you like your ice cream super frozen or somewhat melted? in between

Fill in the blanks: I wish _____ knew _____. I wish I knew what’s wrong with me and how to fix it. I wish I knew what’s good and bad and what I should do. I wish I knew who I am and what I want/need.

Do you enjoy playing with magnets? :3 I collect them but don’t play with magnets

How do you handle an awkward moment? depends

The Beatles: totally amazing or horribly overrated? overrated

Have you ever felt like you belonged in a different century? not really

Pretend you just saw a shooting star. What do you wish for? health *not that it will work

Was your first phone a flip phone? nope What is an old website that closed down that you miss? polyvore forever <3 Do you listen to Grace VanderWaal? If yes, what’s your favorite song of hers? I know/like one of her songs - I don’t like you What is the grossest thing you have ever vomited up? everything about puking is disgusting so... If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her? omg...

Are you foreign-born? I was born and live in Poland Do you drink coffee with your breakfast? I don’t drink coffee at all

Did you know that dolphins & whales are mammals? I did Are all of your grandparents still alive? no

do you need to take a smoke break? I don’t smoke honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? I won’t be a parent :P what kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? uh... have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? been tutored would you rather wear necklaces, bracelets, rings, or earrings? hmm... is everything you have on actually yours? sure when was the last time you wore a band-aid and why? wbiłam sobie metalowy drut w palec what would you do if you discovered that you had a 7 year old kid? ... how? moon sand or play doh? Playdoh do you honestly believe that someone will waste their time reading this? I know she will pfft what’s something you need to get done soon? don’t remind me... your grandparents just died in a plane crash, what are you doing? sit confused as why would they be in a plane in the first place? :o if i came to your house, could i find any kind of chocolate? ask my mother do your parents allow smoking in your house? hell no last person you left a voicemail for? I don’t like voicemails what is the last thing you charged? cellphone have you ever held a snake? I wanna describe to me the nearest stuffed animal to you. there’s shitload of those around me do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? neither zebrah print, cheetah print, cow print, polka dots, or stripes? stripes would you rather go to a beach, and amusement park, or a water park? beach or amusement park, definitely not water park

Have you ever thought about becoming a crime scene investigator? yep

If I asked around, would people say you’re an actually good friend? doubt it

Where are your siblings at right now, if you have any? most likely her apartment

Do people say you complain too much? I know I do, sorry not sorry?

Have you ever considered changing your sexual orientation? there was a moment

Do you miss any of your past best friends? kinda

Have you graduated high school yet? If so, what color were your cap and gown? we didn’t have caps and gowns

Does your significant other complain about the way you dress? does she? XD

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? would say so

What would you do if a stranger smacked your ass and whistled? dunno

Do you understand the game of Monopoly? why not

Do you ever make fun of short people? I’m short...

Would you say you’re reliable to be a good babysitter? I don’t like kids

Do you feel replaced in any way at all right now? when my dad plays with my niece :( also when I see/hear about my ex friends and exes in general?

Do you think it’s actually possible to have a ‘beautiful nightmare?’ yes

Have you ever held an intervention for someone before? I don’t want to participate in such a thing

Do you ever blame your problems on someone else? only if they’re at blame

As a child, were you ever made fun of? What about right now? I’ve been bullied my whole life

Are you more of an open, optomistic person or lonely and pessimistic? loner* and pessimistic but I’m also quite open about who I am, because I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I’m shy

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? not sure what was last

When did you realize you are no longer a child? this question makes me sad Is sleeping naked more comfortable then in clothes? no idea Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? I don’t care most of the time anymore tbh Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? smth more more often than just kissing which is weird Do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship? depends Have you ever accidentally stepped on a cat tail? possibly

Did you know that when a worm is cut in two both pieces grow again and continue living? been told Do veggies gross you out? why Have you ever dated someone in secret? :x Do you bring pillows and blankets on road trips? nope Does walking by yourself make you nervous? might When dog’s bark, do you think it actually sounds like ‘ruff’? no What about when cows moo? yup Do you kiss your pets? yuk Have you ever forgotten where you parked your car? I don’t drive Does your leg itch right now? not rn Would you rather marry someone repulsive or be alone forever? be alone When is the last time you saw a monkey on TV? I don’t watch TV Would you be sad if you were 50 and still not married? nope Is it dark out yet? mhm Do hugs help when you’re sad? sometimes Do you buy more things online or in stores? stores Do online dating sites ever work? not for me

Do you find kite flying boring? if for a long time Have you ever released a paper lantern? I’d like to

Do you ever listen to Jpop? not anymore What is the best summer camp you have ever been to? been to two and both had good and bad sides Is your bed next to a window? it’s not

Have you ever ran a cash register? I have

Does anyone appreciate your talents? what talents? Do you ever write letters and send them through the mail? used to Have you ever had an allergy test at the doctor’s? even recently

Skeletons or scarecrows? scarecrows

Do you own pumpkin earrings? - Have you ever walked through a haunted house? no thx Have you ever asked someone to be your Valentine? and they laughed at me?...

Do you like the name Ellery? sounds like Celery so no

Do you find cemeteries pretty? yeah Does your phone screen freeze a lot? could say so

Do you tend to wear the color blue the most? as a kid Did you kiss anyone on New Years? never Who did you spend your last velentine’s day with? by myself

Is there anything plugged to your computer? two pendrives and powerbank Anyone ever got you something while you were with them without you knowing? sort of Are you more of the indie or mainstream type? indie Where is your favorite place to be massaged? I don’t receive massages When did you last speak with your grandparents? years ago Don’t you hate it when something limits the amount you can type/write? very Do you live where there are a lot of cows? nope Have you ever went an entire day without looking at yourself in the mirror? as a person who avoids mirrors... Do you like the colors purple and orange together? depends? Honestly, do you smell nice at the moment? do I ever? my partner tells me I do but I’ve been told I stink several times before

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waterloou · 5 years

Text

Part 1. Ch 2.

Gasping

Chapter 1-I was dead when I woke up this morning

Playlist

Tw: mentions of panic attacks and ptsd

Malachai woke up the next morning, his face wet.

He rubbed his sheets against it, hoping to dry his skin, but to no avail, his eyes kept leaking.

He looked at the shower as he sat on the tile floor of his bathroom, breathing. The drip drip of the water from the shower head caused him to flinch each time it hit the ground. Maybe a bath would be a better idea.

Once the bath was filled to the brim and steaming, he disrobed and stuck a foot in.

The water sloshed as it settled at the bottom of the tub. Another foot and then he slowly lowered himself in.

His long legs bunched as he tried to settle himself in.

His hair couldn’t get wet his hair couldn’t get wet his face couldn’t get wet.

He eyed the washcloth sitting at the edge, the pounding in his ears growing louder as everything around it became blurry.

The faucet of the tub made a drip drip drip against the water, turning into pounding drums that became harder and harder to block out.

The white washcloth mocked him as he stared at it, his breathing more erratic as he pulled his legs closer to his body.

The next thing he knew, he was out of the tub, wrapped in a towel and his mother’s embrace, her makeup displaced by tear marks down her cheeks, her mascara running.

“Oh mijo “ she held him tighter to her, kissing his now dry curls.

“What...happened?”

“We found you passed out in the tub” she kissed his cheek.

He clung to her, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I”

“Shh, it’s ok baby, it’s ok, you’re here. You’re safe”

“It was” He hiccuped, trying to get a sentence out.

“Shh, just rest, just rest” she tucked him into bed,

“Can you stay with me?”

“Of course mijo” she sat next to his bed, holding out her hand for him to take. He grasped it and held it tightly, pulling it into his chest.

Her soft voice was soon drowned out by a rush of water in his ears, pounding inside his head, hurting him. He whimpered and pulled back, presseing the heels of his palms tightly against his ears.

“It won’t stop It won’t STOP IT WONT STOP IT WONT STOP IT WONT STOP” he repeated over and over, his voice rising in volume until Luz had to cover his hands in her own, her chest hurting.

Abdiel came in

Malachai started to struggle against the sheets, his body thrashing, the sensations were back and his face felt wet. He clawed at it, hyperventilating until Abdiel held him tightly.

The next month continued similarly, ruining his sleep and hygiene. His eyes carried dark circles underneath them, his once bouncy curls had lost their life, hanging limply on his forehead.

He wouldn’t eat. His face had sunken in, his skin pallid.

He wouldn’t go to school, he wouldn’t leave his bed. He just laid there, staring blankly at the ceiling, his ears pounding, his head hurting.

Nai had come over a few times to check up on him and give him his homework and some food. He had been absolutely terrible to her. He’d snapped at her, ignored her, and once yelled at her. She had stopped coming after that. She had stopped talking to him after that.

“I brought your homework,” she set it down on his desk.

He stared at the ceiling

“We’ve been missing you at school.”

He shrugged, turning to face the wall.

“Mm”

“Well, I brought my mini piano with me. I know how much you like it. Would it be ok if I played it?”

He turned towards her, and she managed to get a good look at his face. It was pale, he had dark circles under his eyes, his face was thin and he trembled slightly.

“Mal-“

“I don’t want your pity”

“You’re not getting any of it.”

“Good.”

He looked at her for a few moments, before sighing.

“Can you play the piano?”

She paused, “what would you like?”

He groaned, “just play it.” He held his head, almost in pain.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything. Play....please”

She nodded and took her piano, starting to play one of his favorite tunes.

The notes soothed him at first, the light melody traveling through his muscles, relaxing the tight bundles they had made.

He was enjoying himself until the notes started to change, in his left ear, a rushing stream started over the once soothing notes, crescendoing until it was all he could hear. He reached forward and smashed his hands on the keys once before his wrist was caught in the girl’s grip.

“You alrigh-“ he yanked his hand back violently, holding his wrist to his chest.

“Mal.”

“Stop it.” He snapped, his eyes wild,

“Mal-“

“It’s like nails on a chalkboard” he held the palm of his hand to his ear

Nai nodded, “Alright...I’m putting it away, see?” She slid it back into her backpack before sitting back, out of his reach.

He was panting, his breath ragged, smashing the heel of his palm against his ear.

She reached forward, and took his hand gently,

“Malachai-“ she said softly, before he dug his fingers into her hand and she let go with a yelp.

“Why didn’t you call my parents that night?? Tell the other ghoulies?????? Maybe then they would’ve found me and I wouldn’t be so FUCKED UP”

“I did!!! We were looking for you, chai, we-we tried.”

“And you didn’t find me.” He glared at her, and her lip trembled,

“I’m sorry.” He turned his back to her.

“I don’t wanna see you here anymore.”

She opened her mouth, trying to say something, before she closed it again, “if that’s what you want…”

“Leave. Don’t come back.”

He felt like shit all the time and his lack of sleep wasn’t helping.

His body hurt from crying all the damn time. He couldn’t stop. His eyes seemed to be swollen, red, and puffy permanently now, constantly leaking.

Abdiel and Luz watched as their son suffered, their hearts breaking.

“We need to do something about this.”

“But what?”

“I’ll talk with everyone, see if anyone knows.”

Abdiel walked in as Nai walked out, tears falling down her cheeks.

He spared her a look before going into his son’s room to find the teenager facing the wall, a soft sob coming from him.

“Mijo” he started softly, Malachai turned over and embraced him, resting his head on his father’s shoulder.

“I made a mistake”

Nai sat in front of Abdiel, arms crossed and brows furrowed

“What do you want?”

“What happened to Malachai?”

“I’ve told you many times. I really don’t know. Last thing I remember from that night was him telling me to run and shoving me into the woods. Why can’t you ask another member? I wasn’t the only one in the woods looking for him.”

“But you were with him when he disappeared-Do you remember seeing anyone?”

She thought for a moment, “I might’ve seen a tall man in a serpent jacket? It was dark and I’m really not sure-“

“Of course.” Abdiel growled, “of course it would be. Was there a woman with him? Brunette? Looks like she’s perpetually angry?”

“I didn’t see faces. I just saw one guy.”

“Fuck” he slammed his hand on the table, before looking up at her. She didn’t seem fazed by his outburst and raised a brow in return.

“You sure that’s all you saw?”

“Abdiel. I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again. That’s all I saw.”

“Alright then” he sighed, leaning back in his chair before smoothing his hand over his face. A few moments of silence passed before he looked back at her.

He sighed, “Malachai misses you, ya know?”

“Really? Wouldn’t have guessed.” She crossed her arms. “Given that he kicked me out last time I saw him.”

“It was really nice of you to bring him his homework-“ she sighed, cutting him off.

“What’s this change in tone? First you’re interrogating me, now you’re thanking me?”

“I’m just worried about my son-And I’m thanking you because you’re his best friend, as far as I know. You should come by again, he’s not sleeping. He’s not eating. He’s crying all the time and he won’t even take a bath-“

“Why is that my problem?”

“I thought you were his best friend”

“With all due respect, mr. Martinez, I can only take so much of his verbal attacks. I know he’s hurt right now, But it’s not fair to me if I’m met time and time again with nothing but-” she sighed, pressing her fingers between her brows, “I don’t wanna be there if it’s just gonna make him upset.”

He stayed silent.

“Can I go?...Seems like you’ve gotten what you wanted. That’s all I can tell you”

He made a gesture towards the door, and she got up.

“Nai?”

“What?”

“Just visit him one more time...he really needs it.”

She stilled, her back to him,

“He’s by himself a lot, and that can’t be good” he continued, “he just needs a friend-“

“You’re too soft, you know?” she turned, crossing her arms again, “begging one of your members to do something for you?”

His face turned stony “You wanna stay in this gang? I know of a lot worse things you could be doin, kid. I know you damn well don’t wanna be back where you used to be…Do I need to give you an order, Nai?”

Her jaw clenched and her fists balled.

“Fine. I’ll be there.” she said after a moment, before leaving.

Abdiel walked over to the house of the dead, greeting the Esau’s as he walked around to the back and down to the cellar door.

He opened it to reveal a long, dark passageway, lit by lanterns.

He walked down until he reached a doorway, lined in bones, and rolled his eyes.

He walked in to see Hades and Nicene hanging out.

“Abdiel, old friend” Hades greeted him with a smile, before he saw his expression, “what happened?”

“Malachai was attacked. Waterboarded, I suspect, by two people we all know and love.” He gritted,

“You wanna give me a hint?” Hades straightened up in his seat, “there are a lot of people we ‘know and love’”

“According to the Akira girl, it seems to be our lovely friends Gerard and Marina”

Nicene scowled, “those two?”

“Yeah, those two”

“What you suppose we do about it?”

“Eye for an eye, I’m certain.”

Nicene put out her cig, “I guess I can call in a few favors.”

“You gonna talk to Sam about this? See if he knows anything?”

“Yeah, I might.”

“Good.” Hades leaned back in his chair.

“Also, What the fuck is it with you and bones all over the place?”

“It adds character.”

“You get those from the cemetery?”

“Where else would I get them? They ain’t using it.”

“Ay dios mio, get a paster to bless the place, I had to walk here in the dark.” He held up his smoking torch before tossing it to the man, it skittered across the floor before landing at his feet.

“I’ll take note of that. Maybe Ne Ra can work her magic.”

“Get Gideon. At least she’s ordained.”

Hades nodded and Abdiel turned around.

“Ab!”

“What?”

“Give the kid my greetings. Hope things work out for him soon.”

“Will do.”

#fic: holy water cannot help you now #malachai martinez #my ocs #ghoulie ocs #nai akira #abdiel martinez #luz lena #hades oc #nicene oc #malachai

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whoareurl · 5 years

Note

It’s the Bucky anon, thanks so much for responding! As for a prompt, what about a sick, sneezy, post winter soldier Bucky attempting to hide the fact that he’s sick from Steve while still recovering from an injury because Steve is already so worried about him?

so, this kinda got away from me and is more general whump than snzfic BUT i hope you like it anyway kind anon!!

The mission had been rough on everyone and was definitely in the top five for Most Injuries Sustained at One Time (MISOT). Natasha was nursing a broken ankle, Clint sleeping his way through a pretty bad concussion, and Steve had taken one hell of a beating. Given how quickly Steve healed these days, Bucky was probably unnecessarily concerned. Steve certainly seemed to think so.

“For fucks sake, Buck!” He finally snapped after a long two days of the two of them stubbornly trying to take care of each other without a regard for their own aches and pains. “I’m fine! And in case you’ve forgotten, I’m not the one with broken bones!”

Oh, yeah. And Bucky had a broken wrist and three cracked ribs.

Bucky could practically feel Stark and Rhodey tense from where they were sitting at the breakfast bar and he almost wanted to roll his eyes. Sure, he’s been jumpy and unpredictable throughout his recovery. But he’s also known Steve since they were children and the little punk is precisely as loud and stubborn as he’s ever been. It would take a lot more than a snappy Steve to trigger anything serious for Bucky.

“I’ve had worse,” Bucky said with an almost fond roll of his eyes. The movement sparks a jolt of pain in his head but he ignores it without much trouble. He’d been thoroughly trained in that regard.

“So have I,” Steve bit back, looking for all the world like the skinny little shit who got his ass handed to him on the regular in the 1930s.

Bucky swallowed a laugh. “Yeah, I remember when Mrs Johnson’s boys gave you a kicking behind Delmar’s.”

Despite his show of righteous indignation, Steve’s cheeks dusted pink at the memory. “It wasn’t that bad,” he grumbled.

“They broke two of your ribs. You could’ve died.”

“I had ‘em o-”

“On the ropes, I know,” Bucky finished for him, chuckling quietly. The laughter left an uncomfortable, aching feeling in his chest. He figured it was from his ribs.

And that was how Bucky ended up with 240lbs of pouting supersoldier sprawled across him on the couch, apparently indicating that he was done with this conversation and if Bucky was going to be difficult then he could damn well be a half-decent pillow as well. Behind him, Bucky felt the tension between their two guests dissolve.

“Just worried about you,” Steve admitted quietly from where his head was pillowed on Bucky’s thigh. Bucky dropped his metal hand into Steve’s hair without really deciding to do so.

“I know.”

Over the coming days, the tight pain in Bucky’s chest revealed itself not to have been caused by his injuries. Rather, if the fierce cough and sweltering fever were anything to go by, it was a sign of what promised to be a thoroughly miserable cold. It certainly didn’t help that every cough and sneeze set back the healing on his ribs. No, that was just an unwelcome bonus.

Steve, typically, was as fussy and impossible as he had always been and, honestly, Bucky found it kind of comforting. Sure, Steve’s incessant questions about how he was feeling weren’t exactly working wonders for his headache but Bucky couldn’t deny the bubble of warmth in his chest he felt knowing how much Steve loved him.

Idiot.

Steve, despite his concern for Bucky, had become desperately antsy after just one day of lounging on the couch while he healed and, at his boyfriend’s request, nay, insistence, had resumed his regular workout routine because “your pent up energy is a pain in my ass, Stevie.”

“Alright, Barnes?” Clint asked, dropping down onto the couch beside him.

Bucky couldn’t stop himself from wincing at the way the movement jostled his aching ribs. And, because he’s unlucky and apparently God hates him, his tiny gasp of pain sent him into a punishing coughing fit.

“Christ,” he rasped when it was finally over, metal hand shifting from his mouth to his chest as the pain started to settle down.

“Well, you certainly sound like shit,” Clint said cheerily. Bucky shot him a glare. “You told Steve yet?”

Bucky glared harder. “I swear, Barton, if you-”

Clint raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, man, relax. I have zero desire to get involved in your domestic disputes. I just wanna make sure I don’t miss the show.”

Bucky slapped him with a nearby cushion and turned to stifle a sneeze into his shoulder. Well, a sneeze or six. Clint snagged the box of quickly depleting tissues off the table and tossed them into Bucky’s lap with an air of practiced nonchalance. Despite literal years of stealth training, Bucky couldn’t hold in the last sneeze and it burst out with a rough hznkchh! Well, this was definitely shaping up to be one of his least favourite colds of all time.

“Gesundheit,” Clint mumbled around a mouthful of pringles.

“Thangks,” Bucky muttered, letting out a stuffy breath through his mouth. God, his head was hammering. He gave his nose a quick, harsh blow and stood. “Gonna take a shower.”

“Good call. You stink.”

“Fuck you, Barton.”

The shower felt sinfully good and the hot water pounding against his back eased the aching, bone-deep pain in his left shoulder. His new vibranium arm was much lighter and far more comfortable than the one Hydra had given him but carrying the weight of a metal limb for on and off seventy years had certainly done a number on his nerves. The pain was far from constant but it tended to come back with a vengeance when he was sick. Like now.

There was also the small issue of the steam loosening the congestion in his sinuses to the point where he could barely finish rubbing shampoo into his hair before he was sneezing forcefully towards the ground, metal arm braced against the wall.

“Hrrushch! ih-heh’hrkrushhh!”

The ache which had been steadily building behind his eyeballs all day did, mercifully, start to fade as he…now what was the technical term? Sneezed out his fucking brain.

“Jesus,” he grumbled after what felt like the fiftieth sneeze. If this was the way things were going to be, he certainly wasn’t going to bother with conditioner.

(Bucky liked to pretend, especially around Steve, that he only cared this much about his hair and personal care because it had been denied to him for so long. It was a game which proved to be unfailingly hilarious because Steve could become almost apoplectic with disbelief at the “bold-faced lies, James Buchanan! What would your ma think, God rest her soul?”

Yes, it was definitely Bucky’s favourite game.)

When he stepped out of the shower, Bucky physically recoiled from the blast of cold air that washed over his whole body. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before he was wrapped in two giant fluffy towels, tousled hair caught up untidily in one of Nat’s hair claws. It wasn’t perfect or particularly flattering but at least he didn’t run the risk of dislodging it with another embarrassingly forceful sneezing fit.

Without warning, Bucky felt an ache in his chest. He wanted his Ma, so badly it hurt. It had been a long time since he’d thought about her and for that he felt guilty. She’d probably received a telegram when he fell from that stupid train, apologising for the fact that she’d never be able to bury her son’s body. Bucky wondered if she’d been able to move on without his body to serve as closure or if maybe she’d always held out hope that he’d come back to her.

Bucky stared fiercely at the rug in front of the TV, trying not to think about how his Ma felt when they told her Steve was dead too.

My boys, she used to say, all grown up.

In a way, she and Sarah Rogers had been so alike. He and Steve had been lucky enough to grow up with two mothers, two families, two homes. Bucky had no doubt that she’d have mourned Steve too.

For a moment, a brief, horrible moment, he hated Steve for his choice, for not thinking about all the people he was leaving behind. And maybe there had been no other choice, maybe it was really the only way to save all those people, but Bucky had heard the recordings and nobody says ‘this is my choice’ if there really is no other way. But Bucky thought he understood how Steve felt - like Hydra was too big to take on alone, like this might bring them down for good, like he had nobody left to go home to - and he didn’t have Bucky to tell him not to be so goddamn stupid.

Bucky didn’t realise he was sobbing but he was vaguely aware, at least enough to know that it wasn’t pretty. He’d always been an ugly crier. Of the two of them, Steve had always suffered more gracefully, maybe because he’d had more practice. His chest ached with pain and congestion and awful, burning heartache. More than anything else in the world, Bucky wanted to go home. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could imagine he was in the Rogers’s tiny apartment in Brooklyn Heights with Steve sleeping fitfully against his side as Sarah Rogers arrived home from a late shift at the hospital. He’d pretend to be asleep while Sarah sighed and tucked the blankets tightly around them and gave them each a kiss on the forehead.

Bucky wrapped his arms across his middle, doubling over with a fit of rough coughs. He gave a pained whimper and made no attempt to sit up. His shoulder ached, his back ached, his heart ached and Bucky just wanted to go home.

“Hey, shhh, I’ve gotcha,” said a voice.

“Ma,” Bucky whispered, only realising his mistake when he heard the most pitiful pained sound he’d ever heard.

“Oh god, Buck,” Steve choked, pulling Bucky roughly into his arms. “I- I’m sorry.”

Bucky buried his face in Steve’s neck, wincing at the way his chest twinged with pain again. Later, he couldn’t say why he said it - maybe it was the way Steve’s fingers in his hair made him feel like soft putty - but the words came spilling out of his mouth like a man under a spell.

“M’real sick, Stevie. Don’t want you to get sick.”

Steve’s fingers stilled briefly. “I won’t get sick, Buck,” he said softly but Bucky was too busy trying weakly to push him away.

“No,” Bucky muttered dumbly.

“Hey,” Steve whispered, pulling him close. His hold was so strong and steady that Bucky couldn’t help but melt into him. “S’okay Buck. I’m gonna take care of you. You got nothin’ to worry about.”

When Steve pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Bucky’s head, it felt like the world had switched off. All he could feel was Steve’s body pressed tight against his own, the soft, gentle movements of Steve’s fingernails scraping along the base of his scalp.

“Home,” he mumbled and all he could hope was that Steve understood. This was home. With Steve.

Like always.

#acefic #acefic stucky #sorry about the weird unreadable post i fixed it

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 years

Note

okay if u can’t/don’t want to do this i completely understand but i can’t stop thinking about how “in the middle” by dodie is such a garcyatt song (it’s literally about her wanting a poly relationship w two boys,,, okay Lucy) anyways could u do a fic like. inspired by it or smth? or somehow incorporating it? thank u for ur time ❤️

*cackles* I believe someone else has brought this song to my attention before because it is such a Garcyatt song... we see you, Lucy...

More under the cut!

Flynn first heard it when he entered the bathroom to brush his teeth while Lucy was in the shower. “Mind if I step in for a second?” he asked.

“Oh, no problem.”

He figured it wouldn’t be, since when you’ve seen someone naked repeatedly in bed seeing them naked in the shower isn’t that big of a deal, but he felt it was important to check.

He’d just started when Lucy began singing.

What are you doing Friday?Wanna help my worlds collide? Let's make a bow with old cut ties.Do you want his number?Or shall I be the one to call? I haven't seen him much at all...

Flynn hadn’t heard the song before, but he liked hearing Lucy sing.

Although, the song seemed stuck in her head a lot lately. The second time he heard it was when he was chopping onions for dinner and Lucy wandered in, singing it again.

It could be weird, but I think I'm into it.You know I'm one for the overly passionate...

Flynn frowned, watching as Lucy got a glass of water and then sauntered back out again, still singing.

The third time was when he and Wyatt were sparring in the designated gym area. Lucy had no reason to be over there, but somehow, suddenly, she was, marking up a history book and singing that damn song.

You've got so much in common,Talk about your taste in women.I'll be in the middle,You two get along.

Wyatt, to Flynn’s surprise, squinted at Lucy in a very suspicious manner that seemed to match the niggling thought in the back of Flynn’s mind. “Luce, you think about singing any other song lately?” Wyatt asked.

Lucy looked up from her book and beamed at him. “Nope!”

She went back to singing and marking up the book.

“Okay,” Wyatt said later, joining Flynn at the kitchen counter. “She’s up to something. She’s been singing that song for like a week straight. She’s never done that before.”

“She did it once,” Flynn pointed out. “After Mason kept eating her Circus Animal cookies.”

Wyatt winced. “If I never hear ‘You Can’t Touch This’ again it’ll be too soon.”

“Question is,” Flynn said, reaching across Wyatt so that their chests brushed, grabbing two water bottles and handing one to Wyatt, “what she means by it.”

Wyatt hummed thoughtfully, shaking out his wrist. Flynn grabbed it. “I told you, do some strengthening exercises.” He gently rubbed his thumb on Wyatt’s inner wrist. “Get one of those exercise balls or something to squeeze.”

“I keep forgetting to ask Denise for one.” Wyatt dropped his forehead down to rest it on Flynn’s shoulder. “That feels good though.”

“Oh, so this is just to get me to massage your wrist, is that your dastardly plan?”

“Totally. You found me out, chief. Foiled me yet again.”

“So. Lucy.” Flynn dropped Wyatt’s wrist to give him space to drink the water. “What could she...”

“Oh my God,” Jiya said.

Both men jumped. Flynn hadn’t known she was there.

“She wants you two to bang,” Jiya said. “B-A-N-G. As in, both date her. As in, share one bedroom. As in, put us all out of our misery.”

Flynn stared. Wyatt’s jaw dropped. “What are you--what misery?” Flynn croaked.

Jiya looked pointedly at them.

Flynn looked at himself and Wyatt and realized that not only did he basically have Wyatt pressed against the kitchen counter, chest to chest, Wyatt’s forehead was resting on his shoulder, he’d just been holding Wyatt’s wrist, and he was now about to feed Wyatt water like some kind of weird mating ritual.

“Uh...” Flynn said, very eloquently.

“You’re all idiots,” Jiya announced, grabbing some potato chips and heading back out of the kitchen.

The last time Flynn heard it, he was lying in bed, Wyatt’s head on his chest as Lucy sat up next to them, reading something and idly singing under her breath.

“Lucy. Moja draga.” Flynn pawed at her book. “Stop singing that stupid song and go to sleep.”

“It’s not a stupid song, it’s a great song, nay, a masterpiece, and--”

“Lucy. Light of my life. It’s two a.m.”

“...valid.”

(If he sometimes would hum snatches of the song right where only Lucy or Wyatt could hear him, well. Nobody else had to know.)

#mads answers things #mads writes stuff #timeless #timeless fanfic #garcyatt #garcyatt fanfic #li'l ficlet #moonlightcanary

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jack-andthestalk · 6 years

Text

Our Son, Chapter 4, Foundations.

By the time myself and Willie were up and showered the following morning Jamie's jeep was gone from outside his cottage. Good! I thought I would just ignore him for the rest of my time here, we could resume our contactless parenting as soon as I got back to Boston. Willie and I wandered down to the main house for breakfast, checking over plans with Jenny for her imminent big day and catching up properly with Ellen. It was soothing to be in their company, no matter what had happened with Jamie and I, the women in his family had loved me unconditionally, which for me with no real family to speak of assides from Lamb well it was very much reciprocated and appreciated !

As the morning wore on, Ellen and I moved out to her garden to do some weeding and choose the flowers for Jenny's wedding bouquet, Willie came to help 'Gwanny' but really causing more destruction than anything else, digging up flowers and turning the watering can upside down drenching himself in the process, I was just finished pruning Ellen's rosebush when I felt a shadow looming over me.

I didn't turn to see who it was, I heard Ellen say "Ach Jamie, there ye are mo Graidh will ye clip that top rose for me there, Claire and myself are too bitty to reach it". He didn't respond but suddenly I felt his big body reach above my head and clip the rose Ellen was speaking off. He was right behind me now, I could feel his breath on my back, "what have ye planned then Jamie?", Ellen enquired. "Ye have a look of purpose about ye" I heard him exhale. "I was thinking we could go for a ride Claire", he said ignoring Ellen's question. His voice sounded gruff and hoarse as if it hadn't been used much.

I dug my hands into the clay below the rose bush, wishing I could sink into it and disappear altogether. I felt completely exposed by our argument the evening before, I couldn't bring myself to turn and look at him, instead I just answered "il get Willie a dry jumper and he will be ready to go with you" I made to stand from my knees, "I dinna mean Willie, I thought just you and I would go, Mam will be fine with willie?" He obviously had looked at Ellen for approval as she was nodding vehemently at me saying "oh aye, me and Willie are due to start making some scones, are we not Willie?"

I swallowed the lump threatening to build in my throat. Why the hell was I such an emotional mess, I didn't want Ellen's sympathy, she must know about how Jamie felt about Willie's conception. I was mentally spent from it all. "no thank you Jamie, I want to finish these plants for your mother and...", A hand gently rose from behind me and rested on my shoulder, "Please Claire." A plea.

Ellen was watching the two of us curiously now, what she had first thought was as a simple invitation to go horse riding, was now apparently something else completely. She took another look at Jamie and seemingly made up her mind. " Go Claire", she said softly, "the plants will bide", a simple tilt in her head and a pleading look in her eyes, told me she was asking not telling me to go.

I turned to look at Jamie, his blue hooded eyes, watching me intently to see what I would do. "fine", I said with resignation, " I'll need to wash my hands".

Once we got to the stables, Jamie began mounting a horse he referred to as 'Donas', I looked around wondering why he wasn't saddling a horse up for me when he stretched out his arm indicating for me to mount Donas with him. I didn't move to join him but merely looked at him sceptically, "where is my horse?", "Its easier if ye ride with me".

I hissed back,"don't be ridiculous I am perfectly capable..." he gave me a grave look, "i dinna say ye were not capable but we have a bit of ground to cover and it will make it easier as ye are not familiar with the route". He outstretched his arm again, his eyes met mine for a second, please. "Fine", I murmured and took his hand. I settled myself between his legs but did not allow my body to rest against his, leaving a polite distance between us. He just wrapped his arm around my stomach and hoisted me into his body, "Ye will nay be too comfortable if ya ride like that, rest against me, aye".

“Where are we going?” I asked sometime later, I was lulled by the heat of his body and his strong arm wrapped around me, his other arm managing the reigns easily, the muscles in his arms twisting and turning, guiding Donas.

“I have something in mind I wanna show ye” he said gruffly. With that he used his strong thighs to squeeze Donas down a grassy pathway I had not been before.

We were riding for well near an hour, my little knowledge of the Fraser lands told me we were near coming to the border of those lands, or what I remember to be the border. All of a sudden Jamie turned Donas and we trotted through a small clearing of trees before mounting a hill, once at the top Jamie stopped Donas tied him to a post on a fence and said we would walk from there.

I could see it almost immediately, it was the a half built house, little more than the foundations but all internal walls were well on the way to show the outline of each room, whoever was building it had started to clad the external wall with the most beautiful natural stone that I knew to be very similar to the stone used on the tower in Lallybroch.

Jamie turned to me and put his hand out to help me down the hill, he turned to look at me, as I carefully traced my hand over the beautiful stone fronting the house, "the stone is it from the main house?", "Aye, its from the tower, it was a wall that had crumbled and I kept the stone for this", he said pointing at the house, "Its beautiful Jamie, are you doing all the work yourself?", he looked pleased at this, "Aye, when I can..I usually spend the weekends doing it..there is nay rush as such..I hope to have the roof on before winter though and then I can start thinking about windows and such".

I nodded, "well give me the tour then!" Jamie looked so pleased with my interest, my heart nearly burst looking at him. He took great time in walking me through each room and why he had chosen its position, for the light or a view. When he was finished I turned to him and said "its lovely Jamie, I hope you have many years of happiness in it". He looked at me bewildered, "its nay for me Claire...Its for Willie!"

"for Willie?" I asked incredulously.

“Mmm aye, well I ken he lives in Boston” he looked at me earnestly “and no matter what ye think of me Sassenach, I would never interfere with that”. He kicked stones forming the foundation, “but when he gets older and feels like maybe spending a bit of time here or having a place to bring his own family, I want it to have made it for him .., somewhere he can come.”

"Jamie", I said in almost a whisper, "its such a wonderful thing to do, Willie is so lucky", I realised he was still looking at me intently, "I have no brought anyone up here asides you, Mam and Da", he smiled then and said " I brought Willie up once, and he told me he would prefer a treehouse". We both laughed at that. "C'mere he said there is one more thing I wanna show ye", he led me to the back of the house where there was the foundations of another dwelling, much smaller, perhaps a garage I thought. It had the outlines of three rooms, and one tiny room, which was either a closet or maybe a washroom. I noticed on the blocks that were lying ready to use in centre of the dwelling, sprayed in some sort of paint was the words 'CB bedroom' and 'CB Kicthen', I supposed they were to identify where the various blocks were to be used. I looked at Jamie curiously "this is rather big for a garage?", he shook his head "its no a garage" a smirk forming on his lips, "its a granny flat" he said proudly.

Confusion written all over my face, he nodded in my direction and said "for you Sassenach", I shook my head as if to say I don't follow, he turned away to fiddle with a piece sticking out of one of the half built walls. "I ken that if Willie comes home from Boston either with a wife and kids or just for College, he will want you to come too aye, at the very least at holidays and such? so I thought it best to have yer own, so ye wouldna be on top of the other". My mouth was hanging open agape, "ye will always a place here Claire", he said softly. I literally was lost for words "Jamie I don't know what to say, I..I..".

He smiled pleased that he had left me speechless, "ye dinna need to say anything, I hadna planned on showing ye it until it was finished but after last night...weel I wanted to explain to ya", Jesus was I going to cry again? " Claire, what I said last night came out all wrong..I ken the truth of how Willie came to be" he looked into my eyes and they were so soft I could have drowned happily in them, memories of our night together written on his face, "I was worried that someone who didna ken, or didna know us!", 'Us', "would someday tell Willie that he was only the result of a one night thing, which in practice may be true", he smiled ruefully, "But we ken you and I, that there is more to it than that, Aye?"

I nodded my head in agreement. "Yes" I said weakly, he continued "So when Da talks flippantly like that, I get worried that he will say something in front of Willie and he will no ken the truth from us, so he will get the wrong idea".

He moved to an arms reach in front of me and tentatively touched the back of my hand, "I couldna ask for a better mother either Claire, I hope ya ken that?", his eyes searched mine to see if I believed him.

"Yes, thank you Jamie", My eyes were filled with tears but I was determined he would not see me cry again.

We eventually made our way back to the stables on Donas, the atmosphere was lighter between us, we were joking and happy to be in each others company. It was so long since I had seen this side of Jamie, probably the last time I was here, before we had the strains of co parenting affecting our relationship. Jamie was pointing out various landmarks on the Fraser lands, when he slowed Donas and pointed to a cave hidden up high on a hill, "do ye remember that cave Sassenach?", A knowing smile formed on my lips but I added rather noncommittally, "yes something familiar about it alright"

He stopped Donas and rested his chin on my shoulder, the act was so intimate, my heart started beating madly in my chest, I hoped he didn't notice. Even though there was no one around us for miles, he bent down and whispered into my ear "that's where ye pinned me down and kissed me for the first time, aye?" was he flirting?

I snorted "I did not pin you down", you Mr Fraser, made up an excuse that you had lost something in that cave and made me go with you to find it, when you got me there, you put your foot out tripping me up and YOU then pinned me to the ground"

I could feel his chest vibrating behind me, "Aye weel" he said lightly, "ye clearly enjoyed yerself cause I see ye have no forgotten one single detail Sassenach".

I reached back to slap his thigh.

By the time we reached the paddocks I was fully resting my body on Jamie, his arm strong around my middle holding me there. In the distance I could see the figurate of a woman leaning against the paddock fence, looking out at the direction we were coming. I could tell she was smallish with long blonde hair.

"Who is that at the paddock Jamie?"

He hesitated in answering, sighing first, "Eh..that'll be Laoghaire, Sassenach".

#Jamie Fraser #claire beauchamp #willie fraser #laoghaire #causethatishowjamierolls ourson #the lallybroch library

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written-rebellion · 6 years

Text

Perfect Distractions

A/N: You have no idea how happy I am to have this posted on time. I’m at Niagara Falls with my relatives from the Philippines rn but I had the tiiiniest spare moment to schedule this chapter.

btw, since it’s mentioned this chapter and it’ll be semi-important later on, a Jeepney Bus is a form of public transport in the Philippines. They’re huge jeep-buses that come in all sorts of colours and designs. Here’s a picture of one. They’re pretty cool!

Claire wishes she was home, Jamie wishes he could fly, and as always, all the facts of this fanfic are contrived specifically to make fluffy university/modern-day au scenarios. Please let me know what you think!

Part One: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] | Part Two: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Three: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Four: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Five: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Six: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Seven: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Eight: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Nine: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] | Part Ten: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Eleven: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] | Part Twelve: [Chapter 1]

Part Twelve: Message Received | Chapter 2

It had taken Claire roughly two decades to find a place she could confidently call home, a place she could pin her heart to and refill her soul regardless of how exams, classes, or life in general drained her.

And that place was Jamie.

Nothing else on earth smoothed the static tremors of her life like the way his large hand squeezed her waist or the feel of his lips on her forehead.

At the moment though, the prospect of a softer bed and Rose’s cooking after weeks of work came pretty close.

She drummed her fingers against the armrest, dispassionately staring at the bumper-to-bumper traffic she’d quickly become accustomed to. The closer they got to Manila, the less it felt like nighttime as the neon glow of billboards and giant shopping malls lit the highways and reflected off the shiny, brightly coloured Jeepney buses.

Joe, in the seat next to her, patted her shoulder before leaning over to one of their mentors in the front seat.

“He’s got that pocket Wi-Fi thing,” he said, turning back to Claire. “We’re finally in range again.”

She nodded in thanks, thoughts floating anchorless as her body slowly came down from the adrenaline she’d ran on the last few days.

Within seconds of connecting, her phone buzzed so incessantly she thought she was getting a call, but the only Jamie she saw was the one frozen in time at Lallybroch on her lock screen.

It made sense, of course. They’d been off-grid for a while, who knew what kind of emails and notifications they’d missed?

She was heading straight for Jamie’s message history when the car pulled off the highway and down towards Rose’s neighbourhood.

Slipping her phone in her pocket for now, she and Joe slid out of the car once it pulled over.

She waited on Joe to grab the bags from the trunk, thumbing back and forth through her apps till she saw it.

31.

31 messages from Jamie in a small red circle on top of the app.

All manner of anxiety flushed through her. She’d expected a few, but to send 31 required just a bit more intent. Could she have missed an emergency?

Joe’s voice stopped her from opening the app, coming over with her bags.

“You okay there, LJ?”

“We’re fine,” she said quickly, locking her phone.

“I asked if you were okay,” he said, regarding her with raised brows.

“A-and, that’s what I said, I’m fine.”

He nodded slowly.

“I just mean, y’know, I know you and that kid were close…”

She bit down hard on her cheek. Inhaling quickly, she gathered up her bags.

“I’m fine,” she said, nodding to convince the both of them.

“Get some rest, Lady Jane,” he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “You’ve earned it.”

She smiled at that.

“You too, Joe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Rest sounded heavenly. This level of exhaustion, she’d quickly learned, was fast to call dreams to her and made it much easier to imagine the small arms she hugged tightly to her waist were Jamie’s instead.

It was two even smaller arms wrapping around her when she walked into the house, though.

“You’re back!”

She held Angie to her for a moment, one hand coming up to bring her close, and finding her backpack instead of her back.

Claire looked up as Rose walked into the doorway, keys on hand.

“I’m working tonight,” she said after hugging Claire too. “Angie’s going to stay with a friend.”

“But I don’t wanna go to Tita Lina’s if Ate Claire’s here!” Despite her protests, she ended on a yawn and Claire smiled, leaning down to rub her cheek.

“I’ll tell you all about my trip tomorrow, okay?”

Tantrum successfully avoided, Claire waved the two sisters off and locked the door, waiting until she was completely alone to melt into the couch.

It started as a sigh, but in no time turned into hot tears streaming soundlessly down her cheeks.

There was nothing she could do. Nothing at all.

She dragged her feet to the bathroom, not bothering to assess the damage in the mirror as she stripped and got into the shower.

The cool water was an unmitigated blessing, doing well to ease the weight of those last few days in Cavite.

Settling into bed in just a shirt – not Jamie’s, because the scent had long since been washed away – she was ready to let dreamless sleep pull her in.

Her phone pinged and her eyes shot open again.

31 messages she’d momentarily forgotten had now turned to 32.

> I expect ye’ll be overwhelmed by the messages when ye get them. Apologies, lass. But, if ye read any at all, I hope it's this one. I love ye, and I’m proud of ye. I miss ye, aye, but I’ll be waiting right here for ye when ye return.

How the bloody hell did he do that? From halfway across the world no less.

She skimmed through the other messages, feeling the tears bubbling anew. But below, her smile was trembling much like her fingers as she wobbly typed a reply.

> Busy? Can I call?

She’d barely taken a breath after clicking send when—

> 5 min, mo graidgh.

---

He sprinted back to the dorms, nearly crashing into John at the door of the room.

“Lost Wi-Fi again?”

“Nay, we—” He stopped, looking his roommate up and down. “Where are ye off to?”

“Chess club,” he replied, “And I’ll probably stay over at a friend’s tonight so don’t wait up.”

Jamie waved him off, watching his roommate’s back walk down the hallway with increasing curiosity, but a squeeze to his phone – like the squeeze of her hand in his – reminded him.

He sat on his bed, watching the call connect and already imagining her smile, her laugh as she shook her head at him.

“32 messages, James Fraser?! Are you quite insane?”

When he actually saw her, his entire body tensed.

“Jamie,” she said, attempting so much less than the smile he’d expected.

“Claire… What’s wrong, mo chridhe?”

“Wrong? N-nothing’s—”

“Ye’ve been crying, lass.”

He could almost see her trying to pull a feeble excuse from the thoughts swirling around her head. Then, she sighed.

“What’s happened, mo graidgh?”

Tears were precariously balanced on her lashes. She took a breath and – to his surprise – smiled at him.

“I bloody love you, you know? I just got your messages.”

His cheeks pinked but he said nothing, his eyes gently urging her towards an explanation.

She swallowed, understanding, before she started again.

“There was a little boy, Elijah.” She smiled faintly. “We all called him Eli…”

She’d worked and lived at a centre in rural Cavite, providing any medical assistance needed in the morning and teaching health lessons to locals in the afternoons with Joe taking the opposite shift.

Eli had been a particularly frequent and particularly young student amid mostly teenagers and adults. Only 6-years-old or so, he’d had the kind of bright-eyed curiosity and eagerness that would undoubtedly draw Claire to him.

“He’d want to carry my medical bag everywhere, even though it was basically half his size,” she chuckled. “Followed me around like a little chick so often, Joe started calling him my tail. And he’d have all kinds of questions. We could barely understand each other at first but he was—was so smart and—”

“What happened to him?” He could see her slowly collapsing into herself and his heart physically ached, yearning to break out of his chest and fly across the world just to comfort hers.

“I was getting ready for my second shift on our last day there and I saw a woman talking to one of our supervisors. She was… she was crying, trying to explain something in Tagalog I couldn’t understand and then—I… Eli didn’t show up for class.”

She took a breath and Jamie simply watched her try to ground herself, wanting nothing more than to reach through his phone, take her face in his hands and kiss her tears away.

“Hush now, love. Dinna cry, my heart, my brown-haired lass, I’m here,” he murmured in Gaelic.

“Dengue fever,” she said after a time. “It was sudden. It was fatal. It was—It’s—” She sniffed, despair shifting into frustration. “—we have medicine that could have eased the pain or— Or we… I could have—”

“Christ Claire…” He crossed himself. “I’m so verra sorry, mo chridhe.”

“I could have done something. I should have. I just didn’t… No one knew and—”

“And that’s no’ yer fault, mo nighean donn. None of it was yer fault.”

“I… I just—”

She knuckled away her tears, doing what Jamie wished he could. Every inch of him was on edge, straining to break across borders, distance, time itself to get to her, to tuck her into his chest and shelter her from the rest of the world. His palms were sweaty from both his sprint to the dorm and the sheer will to keep himself from jumping on a plane and flying to her side this very moment.

“I miss you, love,” she said, sounding thoroughly shattered – exactly like his heart. “I… I need—”

“Anything. Anything at all.”

“I need you, Jamie.”

His phone nearly slipped out of his hand.

Read Chapter 3

#outlander #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #jamie x claire #perfect distractions au #wr writing #things heat up next ch #these two kids deserve it tbh

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dramaqueeenamby · 6 years

Text

Space Between (2)

A/N: So I clearly don’t know how to stick to my word because here I am with chapter 2 already. *sighs*

But the feedback to this has just been so crazy! I swear, you guys make me feel like I could post a 10-word story, and you’d still go crazy over it.

You just don’t know what all the comments, likes, and reblogs mean to me...

But enough of the sentimental shit. Lmao.

I’m making a Taglist for this series as a few people have asked to be tagged in future parts so if you too would like to be added, reply or DM me, and I’ll be sure to add you! :)

TAGLIST: @katshrev @elaindeereads

Lastly, you all know I like visuals so the following graphic is for Y/N’s outfit and a picture of Bunme (BUN-MAY).

Words: 3005

MASTERLIST

Space Between (2)

Several things became abundantly clear in less than 24 hours of arrival in Wakanda.

1. Y/N was screwed.

2. Y/N was really screwed.

3. Y/N was completely, totally, and royally screwed.

The end.

That short but accurate conclusion was evident by Bunme being unable to let go of the little display a certain king had put on for her.

She was currently petitioning her mother to let her have two “kitties”, one for each of them.

“I’ll watch it, mommy. I promise!”

Y/N managed a small smile as she continued to unpack their bags, loading their clothes and such in the expansive closet of their conjoined rooms.

She wasn’t certain, but Y/N would guess that their temporary living quarters were the same size as a wing of her palace back home.

Of course, her daughter fell in love immediately, running around and jumping on the bed.

Honestly, had that child heard anything that she said on the jet?

“The king is nice.”

She paused mid-fold at that, stopping herself from saying anything too problematic. “Time will tell, my love.” She finished a stack of clothes and then glanced at the clock to see it was nearing Bunme‘s evening nap time.

And, as if she knew what her mother was about to say, the little girl hopped off the bed (doll in hand) and excitedly announced that she was hungry.

Y/N frowned. It had been a while since the two of them had eaten. The only thing was that it meant having to leave the room and leaving the room ignited the risk of her running into a certain someone that she was prepared to work her hardest to avoid.

“Hi!”

Y/N broke from her thoughts to see that her energetic child had opened the door, revealing T’Challa’s sister and Nakia.

“You’re pretty.” Bunme aww’d at both of them before pointing to her. “Just like mommy.”

Both women laughed as Shuri made a half-joking request.

“Can we keep her, please?”

Bunme, however, was not having that.

“Nooooo!” Her legs carried her over to her mother as she hid in the back of her dress. “I wanna stay with mommy.”

Y/N laughed softly and patted the top of her head before explaining. “She doesn’t mean forever, Bun Bun.”

The child poked one eye open. “Really?” She nodded and the little princess ran back over to them. “Then you can keep me, but not for a long time cause mommy might miss me.”

Nakia’s jaw dropped as she made a slight moaning sound. “She is adorable.”

“You haven’t seen her at bedtime.” Her mother teased before realizing that they were still standing in the doorway. “Oh, please, come in.”

They obliged with Nakia taking a seat on a nearby chair. However, Shuri walked over to Y/N and handed her a beaded bracelet.

“What is this?” She frowned in confusion.

“Kimoyo beads. They’re kinda our niche around hear. You know how the Americans have their cell phones? Well, we have these and they’re much, much better.” A beat. “And not just because I designed them.”

“Of course not.” Nakia teased as Y/N noticed that Bunme was playing with her own Kimoyo bracelet.

“That’s right,” Y/N started as brief vignettes of the few pleasant conversations she’d had with T’Challa came to mind. “You are a scientist, correct?”

“I am. The head of all scientific and complex creations in Wakanda.” The teenager beamed before frowning. “But how did you know that? I mean, about me being a scientist.”

Damn

Yeah, this was definitely going to be a challenge.

“Uh, your brother told me one time.” She confessed realizing that she couldn’t lie to the girl even if she wanted.

“You and T’Challa have met before?” Nakia spoke up.

“Yes.” She curled her toes to keep from biting her tongue. “At Oxford.”

“You were classmates?” Shari’s eyes bugged open.

“Something like that.” Y/N mumbled before realizing how accusative and suggestive that sounded. “We were both pursuing our doctorates and happened to end up in the same class.”

She never did and probably would never understand how that happened. He was pursuing his Ph.D in Physics; she was going for hers in education with an emphasis in early childhood advocacy and intervention.

The two just didn’t go together.

Kind of like us....

“I wonder why he didn’t say anything.” Shuri wondered.

“We weren’t close or anything like that.” She quickly interjected. “Moreso acquaintances.” Before anyone else could ask any more personal questions about her time in America, she changed the subject. “I don’t mean to impose, but could one of you possibly show me where the kitchen is. Bunme would like a snack.”

“We can take her.” Nakia offered as Y/N realized her daughter was literally sitting in the woman’s lap, the Kimoyo bracelet in her small hands. “Give you some time to relax.”

“Oh, that’s okay. She doesn’t really take well to strang-“

“Please mommy! I wanna see the castle!”

Y/N suddenly realized that she was being punished for something. Since when did her mini-me become the social butterfly? Bunme was never this open with strangers back at home.

“You’re going to the kitchen, Bun Bun. Not on a tour.”

“But-“

“No but’s.” She said more firmly as the little girl pouted.

“It’s okay, princess.” Shuri comforted. “Brother asked to show you and your mommy around anyway.”

“That’s rig-wait, what?” Yup. Definitely being punished.

“Yes. We’d actually offered to do it for him, but he was quite adamant.” Nakia explained. “Although now that it’s been revealed you two know each other-“

“Of each other.” She added nervously. “And it’s been quite some time anyway.”

“All the more reason for you guys to catch up.” Shuri beamed.

Sure, right after I throw up.

“Can we go now?” The child complained, clearly growing bored with a conversation that she couldn’t understand.

“Can we?” Shuri winked and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh. T’challa’s sister was a gem. She just wondered what the hell happened to him.

“I suppose.”

“Yay!”

“But please do not keep her too long, she has to take her nap before It gets too late.” She implored.

“No nap!” Bunme pouted as she tried dragging Nakia by her hand. “I can stay up forever!” She shouted and while the other two women found it absolutely hilarious, Y/N was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with her poor child.

“We’ll have her back in an hour,” Nakia assured as the three left out the room just as Dumi was entering.

“Your Highness.”

“I do wish you’d stop calling me that.” She gave him a slight smile.

He too smiled, his pearly whites a contrast against his smooth, chocolate skin. “Would you like for me to go with her?”

She shook her head. “That is not necessary....she’s in good hands.” He only nodded, successfully hiding his disappointment with her answer. “What do you think of it here so far?”

He walked over to the large window and stared at the scenery. “It is....quiet.”

“I noticed that too.” She chuckled and walked over to stand beside him. “We are not used to this way of life. This....normalcy.”

“I fear we might become spoiled.” He confessed with a hint of humor in his voice. “And what of you?”

She turned to look up at him. “What of me?”

“You’ve been quiet since we arrived.”

“I think Bunme has spoken enough for all of us, don’t you think?”

“That is-“

“Take the rest of the day off, Dumi.” She offered. “You should be tired of watching over us, anyway.”

“Nay, it is an honor, your majesty.”

She smiled warmly, grateful for his companionship and loyalty. “And that is precisely why you deserve some rest. Go. I wish to do the same before a hyper daughter of mine returns.”

Dumi hesitated but eventually bowed. “As you wish.” He was halfway out the door when he reminded. “I am only down the hall should you need anything.”

“Thank you.” She replied and he left.

Y/N contemplated trying to take a nap but remembered the luxurious bathroom that housed a glorious looking shower and decided to freshen up. She spent about twenty minutes standing under the strong stream of water before exiting and replacing her royal attire with a more relaxed ensemble of pants and a shirt.

She tied her large Senegalese twists back with a ribbon and applied a thin layer of chapstick. Following that, she realized just how hungry she was and decided to venture out the room to find the kitchen.

After all, how hard could it be to locate? All she had to do was listen for her loud-mouthed daughter.

And honestly, her chances of running into him were slim to none. After all, he was a king now. Surely he had kingly duties to attend to.

Right?

“Y/N?”

FUCK

She briefly contempt making a run for it but realized that would be utterly stupid and start rumors of her being psychotic.

She also thought about ignoring him but again remembered how he had opened up his home to her and Bunme.

She took a small breath and turned around to see him. “T’Challa....hello.”

He eyed her wearily. “Is everything alright?” No. Far from it. “What brings you over here?”

“Where is here?”

He gestured to a large door just a few feet away. “My office.”

........Of course

“I was looking for the...kitchen.” She stammered, suddenly wishing she’d just eaten the pack of peanuts she had in her bag.

Amusement twinkled in his eyes. “You will not find it in this wing.”

She sighed and shut her eyes. “Because this is your wing....isn’t it?” He nodded and she groaned. “I apologize. I suppose I should have just asked.”

“No worries.” He waved off her contrite statement, and she hated that. Why was he being....nice? “I shall show you where it is.”

Her stomach dropped. “That’s not necessary.”

“So you’d rather continue to roam aimlessly around?” He truly was amused by the whole thing; she wasn’t.

She narrowed her eyes. “I am perfectly capable of finding my way without your help.” She started to add on a “your highness” but decided against it.

“Yes, of course.” She was trying extremely hard to not smack that smug smirk off his face. “Because you’ve done such a good job, so far.”

Scratch that. He was still the same.

She realized that he was walking away and quickly sped up so that she was, unfortunately, by his side.

“You know, coming here and seeing this, all of this, the real Wakanda,” she raised a brow and scoffed. “You make so much more sense now.”

He caught the insulting nature of her comment. “Let me guess...... arrogant asshole?” He referred to the first time they met where she insulted him in her native Swahili, unaware that he also spoke and understood that language.

“Pompous asshole,” she corrected. “Then again, I suppose both work, no?”

He smiled. “Interchangeable they are, but an accurate description, ahh, I’d say not.”

“I beg to differ.” She smiled acridly and shook her head. “You always were incapable of seeing your own faults.”

He eyed her quizzically. “You begging....now that would be a sight.” A beat. “Or should I say was.”

Her eyes widened in shock at his boldness. Without thinking, she moved in front of him, scrunching the front of his clothes and forced him against the nearby wall.

“I do not care if you are the king or the black panther, speak of that night again, to me, or to anyone, and it will be the last thing that you do.” She threatened without a care in the world for the consequences. ��Your majesty.” She released his shirt when she realized how hard she was pushing into him or rather, how solid he felt underneath her soft hands.

Her hand involuntary clenched at her side.

He stared down at her with utter amusement, unfazed by her threat when a diagonal mark, a scar, across her cheek instantly caught his eye.

He stepped forward and she, backward. He instinctively circled his left arm around the small of her back to keep her from moving away.

Meanwhile, Y/N was wondering why she didn’t use her powers to shock his touch away, why his touch literally burned the small exposed portion of her back, why she couldn’t find it in herself to push him off her.

She was just frozen, her eyes burning into his as he brought his hand to her cheek, his long, coarse fingers grazing over the scar.

“What happened?” He asked in nearly perfect Swahili, better than some native speakers.

Shit, why did he have to be so cultured?

Her mouth faltered before she attained a small sense of composure. “Let me go, T’Challa.”

“Answer my question.”

His commanding tone broke her from her trance as she growled and attempted to jerk herself out of his grasp.

“I don’t answer to you.” She hissed quietly as a guard walked past the two of them. “Now let me go. Now.”

“I want an answer.” He matched her tone, and Y/N realized that neither was going to relent.

I warned him.

She squinted her eyes focused on him, taking in her environment, tuning in with nature as for her, it was everywhere she went.

T’Challa watched in confusion as she continued to stare at him with intent, tilting her head as her chest started to heave. All of a sudden, he felt an irritating sensation in his ears as though someone was screaming directly in them. He could tolerate it at first, but then it started to exacerbate and he noticed that her eyes were starting to gloss over with white, allowing him to put two and two together.

“What are yo-Bast!” He finally could not take it as he released her to grab onto the sides of his head, covering his ears. “Damnit woman, why must you always be so difficult?”

Y/N released a breath, that taking more out of her than she anticipated as she forgot T’Challa was enhanced.

“I asked you once.” She responded with serene calmness. “You would not lis-“

“My son.”

T’Challa’s head snapped in the direction of the stranger as Y/N gazed upon the woman dressed in royal robes. She wore an apparent warm smile, but the princess had seen enough of those for her to tell that that the woman was clearly displeased with what she’d seen.

“Mama” T’Challa spoke and approached her, placing a kiss on her cheek before he turned back around to face her. “This is-“

“I am aware.” His mother as she was called spoke with a mixture of faux kindness and a minute amount of irritation. “I am Ramonda,

Nevertheless, she was all too familiar with dealing with people who clearly didn’t like her or, at the very least, weren’t fond of her. “Your Highness.” She dipped down into a slight bow. “Allow me to thank you for granting us refuge.”

Ramonda’s smile faltered slightly. “Well, my son is king…his word is law.”

Y/N raised her brow as she understood what the older woman was implying.

She didn’t approve or like that T’Challa had authorized this.

“Mommy!” Y/N turned around and smiled at her happiness.

“Bun Bun.” She leaned down and spread her arms as the child came charging toward her. The mother-daughter duo giggled together as Nakia and Shuri watched the precious interaction. “Did you enjoy your snack?”

She nodded enthusiastically and looked over Y/N’s shoulder to see Ramonda and T’Challa.

“Kitty!”

Shuri and Nakia laughed from behind her while T’Challa laughed softly.

Y/N clenched her eyes shut. Only her daughter. “Bunme, that’s not-“

“It’s fine.” The king waved off her correction as she turned around with Bunme still in her arms. “Hello, Bunme.”

“Hi!” The child said with an unnecessary loudness as Y/N chuckled and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Do you meow?”

“Can we please keep her?” Shuri moaned. “She’s golden.”

“Bunme.” Y/N laughed nervously and motioned to Ramonda. “There’s an adult in the room.”

She craned her head up to look at her mom. “But we’re in the hallway….”

“Bun.” She whispered as the little girl sighed and broke away from her mother to stand in front of Ramonda as she curtsied.

“Your majesty.” She said quietly and surprised everyone except for Y/N when she immediately retreated back to the safety of her mother’s arms.

However, Y/N knew that her daughter picked up on Ramonda’s hostility and it discouraged her from being as affable as she was with everyone else.

The Queen Mother stared down at Bunme with an unreadable expression, almost in a trance-like state before she cleared her throat.

“I…I did not realize that you have a child.” Ramonda stammered, clearly perturbed by this newfound information as she continued to stare at Bunme, something that was starting to irk her mother.

“I do.” Y/N swooped down and picked up Bunme just as the little girl was finishing a yawn, the little girl laying her head down on her mother’s chest. “Is that a problem?”

Ramonda raised her perfectly arched brow. “You just seem so…..young.”

“Hmm. Yes, 28 with a child and a bachelor’s, masters, and my Ph.D.” She forced a faux, sad sigh. “Such a disappointment.” Y/N heard snickering behind her from Nakia and Shuri as well as a hint of admiration from T’Challa. “It was nice meeting you, but I should go put her down for her nap.” She didn’t give Ramonda a chance to respond before she turned on her heel and looked over at the other two women. “You think I could get a special tour of the kitchen once she’s sleep?” She motioned down to Bunme who was already stumbling into slumber.

“Of course.” Nakia beamed. “Just let us know when.”

“Great.” Y/N grinned, turned around, and walked past T’Challa and his mother without another glance.

Y/N - 1

Queen Bitch Mother - 0

Y/N - 1

Black Kitty Panther - 0****

****Subject to change

#Space Between #T'Challa udaku #black panther imagine #black panther fanfiction #Shuri #Nakia #Ramonda #T'Challa imagine #T'Challa x reader #black panther

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spookyreesescup-blog · 6 years

Text

No pain is greater than the happiness that follows it.

It’s true, but sometimes it feels like a lie. It’s hard to think about the future when all you can think of is how much you hurt right now. How much you hate your life, yourself. Right now. Now is all that matters. How you feel now will never change. This is it. Forever.

That’s how it feels, doesn’t it? Like you’ll never feel anything ever again, you won’t be happy.

Try something. For me. A complete stranger you had no idea existed until now. Think of the last time you felt happy. Or at peace. Or the last time you laughed. Whether you had woken up from a wonderful dream on a Saturday morning, the sun shining through your windows. If it was walking through a garden. Sipping coffee in a bookshop. Playing childish games with your friends, all of you knowing you’re too old. Or just sitting alone in the silence and thinking. Think about that and hold onto it forever. No matter what. When you’re in that ditch, that “I’ll never be anything ever again” ditch, think of that. Hold on to that one moment, that one beautiful, simple, uplifting moment of happiness you have. And use it to learn to love life. to love yourself.

Love yourself. It seems impossible, doesn’t it? Everyone does it so easily, why am I so different? So wrong? Love is a difficult thing to do, especially for yourself. Here are some self-love tips that work for me.

1: Wear what makes you happy. Don’t let anyone tell you it doesn’t look good. No matter what. (Unless you’re going to a funeral or something. Don’t wear your favorite shirt with the sunflowers on it to someone’s viewing. :p)

2: Find something you like about yourself. Focusing on what you hate about yourself only makes it worse.

3: Take a shower. The bad mood gets washed down the drain. And showers feel nice.

4: Listen to soft music. Not just classical, but anything not super heavy. It helps you relax and think. I recommend the artists Cavetown and In Love With a Ghost.

5: Do something you enjoy, something you’re good at. No matter what it is. (Unless it involves self-harm)

6: Take a mental health day every once and awhile. Put your laptop away and have a day to yourself. This is hard to do while you’re still in school, so try to do it on days you have off. Bad grades will make you even more stressed.

7: Know it’s okay to want to be alone, or to want to be around people.

8: Don’t apologize for who you are. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You’re you. That’s it. If you feel like you have to explain yourself or prove yourself, that’ll make your mood worse.

9: Don’t let other people validate you. If you aren’t in a relationship, that doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable. Just because someone picks on you doesn’t mean everyone hates you. when you learn to love yourself, you don’t need their approval.

10: self-care, self-care, SELF-CARE! The more love you show your body, the more it’ll love you back. Eat 3 meals a day, drink lots of water (from personal experience, dehydration isn’t fun), use chapstick, wash your face, all that jazz that makes ya feel good and responsible. Take some time alone, sometimes meditation and quiet is the best self care. (also cat videos. Cat videos help.)

“But Spooky, there’s so much I don’t like about myself. Do I just ignore that?”

Nay nay, my friend. Here’s a guide.

-If you believe you have a serious mental illness, see a therapist or a doctor. Work it from there. With stuff like depression or anxiety, use some of the self-love and self-care tips.

-If you don’t like something about yourself that you KNOW is bad (like poor time management, bad eating habits, or a bad sleep schedule) do everything you can to fix it. It will take time, but once you see that you’ve done it, you’ll feel better than ever. Control over yourself is a good feeling.

-If you don’t like your appearance, try somethings to change it that won’t hurt you. Cut your hair, use some makeup (but not too much that you rely on it for everything), get your ears pierced. This stuff can be important to make you feel good about yourself, but don’t rely on it so much that you start to not like you.

-If you don’t like your weight, for personal reasons or for health reasons, there’s a few things you can do. If your weight is a medical issue (anorexia, bulimia, etc.), see a doctor or talk to a professional who knows how to help. Know that starving yourself or overeating won’t solve anything, and you’ll regret doing it later when you feel sick.

I don’t know everyone’s problems.Everyone has their own things that make them happy or sad or angry. I don’t want to show off or think I’m better than people, or that I know everything. That’s not what this is. These are just some things that have helped me in my times of depression, anxiousness or self-hate. The world is scary, growing up is scary, a lot of things are scary. But it’s better to learn to take care of and love yourself now than be miserable and confused later in life.

And for those who need someone to talk to, I’m not a pro, but I can speak from experience. I try to come on tumblr as often as I can, so drop a line if ya wanna chat, or of you’re feeling in the dumps.

Love y’all, Spooky

#self love #rant #self help #self care #thank you guys #please read #for anyone who needs it #tumblr

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