#I’d be the coolest kid on the block

[sh4d0w-gl]

I need to own a typewriter right fucking now

#newtz natters #I Need one #i Need a typewriter!! #it’s a legal obligation #I’d be the coolest kid on the block #click clack typety type #I could be so Generation Loss : Chronicle 0 vibes #genloss

[sugar-spice-everything-vice]

In Which Carl Tries to Write a Eulogy

Inspired by @m4ndysk4nkovich's ask!

Monica. Monica. Monica.

Carl rolled her name over and over in his brain, hoping for a spark of inspiration. 

Monica was…certainly no muse. With a huff, he scratched the un-clicked pen onto the paper in front of him. 

Monica was…a hurricane; she left destruction in her wake. He witnessed it himself with each of his siblings. First Fiona, then Lip, then Ian, then Debbie; where did that leave him? Stuck looking for words to commemorate a dead woman—no, his mother; his dead mother. That only felt half-right on his tongue. 

The problem wasn’t that Carl couldn’t think of words to describe Monica. No; the problem was that he couldn’t think of particularly nice things to say about her. Eulogies were supposed to say how great a person was, right? They only talk about the good and ignore the bad. Monica had good. Everyone did.

Carl clicked his pen, pushing the point out.

“Monica was,” he wrote, “a wild card”. A decent start, he thought. 

“You could never tell when she’d pop up.” He paused, hesitating, with the pen hovering just centimeters above the paper. A memory came to him—one of the few ones he had with Monica; it stood out starkly like lightning in a storm. He put his pen back on paper. 

“I remember this one time when I was just a little kid, maybe six or so,” Carl wrote, “and she just rolled up with this doll for Debbie, like she hadn’t been gone for over a year.” Carl’s grip on his pen tightened just slightly, but he continued without pause. 

“And when she saw me, she looked all...I dunno, like she just remembered I was a thing. She smiled at me and dug around in her bag until she pulled out this beat-up switchblade. She gave it to me, like she didn’t want me to feel left out. It was cool. Probably the coolest thing she’s ever done for me. I’d love to say I’ve still got that switchblade stashed away somewhere, but it was a lousy piece of junk. Snapped on me after just three uses. Guess that pretty much sums up me and Monica.”

Carl stopped. 

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath and scribbled out the entire paragraph he had just written. 

Nice. He was supposed to say something nice. He had been off to a good start and then…well; he had lost track somehow. He had walked down the block and had somehow ended up in the Northside.

No, Carl told himself. Focus. He had been off to a good start. He could do this.

“Monica was,” Carl wrote again underneath the scribbled out paragraph, “a wild card. You never knew when she’d show up, and you sure as hell never knew when she’d bail. No goodbyes, nothing. Maybe that was a blessing. Least that way, we didn’t have to get all teary-eyed when she split. And that’s exactly what she did right after I was born. Sometimes, I catch myself wondering why. But now, I guess I’ll never get an answer. That’s the thing about people kicking the bucket—it leaves you hanging. Maybe there was something she had to do, or someone she had to see. Something that mattered more than her own kid. Then again, I was kid number five, so maybe being a parent was old news by then. Maybe I was just another Gallagher nobody had asked for.”

Carl stilled. The only motion came from the clenching of his jaw at the realization that he had lost focus again. He scribbled out the paragraph; it was a scribble that could rival the first one—deeper and darker. 

Carl put the pen down and leaned back in his chair. He took a deep breath and tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. 

Monica. Monica. Monica. 

Her name made a good mantra. Maybe he could say that about her? No. That was dumb. 

He should be able to figure out something to say about her. She was his mother, after all. The term still felt off on his tongue. 

“Monica was all about being wild,” Carl started writing again. “Nothing could hold her back from chasing her next crazy adventure. Not even her own kids, I guess. If there’s one thing I got from her, it’s that. Sometimes, I think she might’ve liked me more if she’d taken me on one of her wild rides and, y’know, gotten to spend some time together. But she never asked; it never crossed her mind. Makes me wonder if she ever really thought about me at all.”

Carl firmly pressed the point of his pen onto the paper where the last period was. His brow was knit and his lips were down-turned. 

“Hey, what you doing there?” Lip’s voice made Carl lift his head away from the sheet of paper. Carl looked over to see his brother’s head poking out through the side of the doorway.

“Trying to write a eulogy for Monica,” Carl replied.

“Oh.” Lip paused. “You know you don’t have to do one of those, right?”

“I don’t?”

“Nah. They’re not required or anything,” Lip said. “Plus, she wasn’t around much when you were growing up. You probably don’t have much to say.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Carl said. He grabbed the paper and crumbled it up. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem,” Lip said and walked away. Carl listened to Lip’s footsteps fade away. He looked over at the paper ball in his hand. He opened it and smoothed it out a bit. His eyes skimmed over the last paragraph. 

“Yeah,” Carl said and crumbled it back up again.

#this is my first time writing for carl #carl gallagher #shameless #fanfic #award for best line i didn't use goes to #“why is it called a you-lougy if I'm not writing about me?” #mine

[softerhaze]

apparently, you can’t ask the moonwood mill townies questions that prompt special answers once they join your household. so, i decided to grab all of lou’s responses from the string table :) i’m gonna post them here for future reference and in case anyone else wants to see what he says!

"Kristopher's a pretty cool Werewolf to have taken in everyone he has. Of course, he didn't take me in... so he kind of missed taking in the coolest wolf, but hey, he does an adequate job."

"I love me some PowerSip MIDNIGHT! I'm glad they're always fighting the legal battles to make their next big flavor. Who wouldn't want to taste MIDNIGHT? Seriously, they must have some spellcaster brewers making the stuff. How else do you harness the essence of night?"

"So I've snatched a few things over the years. A future cube, a few paintings, some children's toys—which I donated, so don't look at me like that! The best thing I ever took was a piano. Don't ask me how I did it. That's a secret."

"How did I end up in Moonwood Mill? Well, I stole a few things I probably shouldn't have, and I was on the run. I figured nobody would find me way out here in the middle of the wilderness. Guess I was right."

"Who doesn't want to be an immortal wolf? I hear you need to be pretty powerful to pull it off. Don't worry, I'll get there soon."

"Not sure how I feel about the concept of fated mates. Like, ONE Werewolf? FOREVER?? That's a lot of commitment."

"So I asked Celene out on a date, yeah. We were going for a walk over that bridge, when I heard a helpless kid or something crying for help. I'm a pretty nice guy, so I was like, ‘Hey Celene, we gotta go help the kid.’ We braved going past those signs and all that, and we ran into Greg. Well, I had to try and protect Celene. She was pretty scared! So I ran up to him and suggested Greg leave us alone. No taunting or anything, just a stern suggestion. He didn't take kindly to that, and well... here we are. That's the truth of it all!"

"I'm not sure I like the idea of Vampires. I guess most Werewolves don't... Spellcasters on the other hand? They sound pretty cool. I'd get together with one."

"Greg is kind of a problem. We all know it. I don't know why he came here in the first place if he doesn't want to join a pack and live like the rest of us."

"The Moonwood Collective isn't really my scene. They're too into nature. Have you seen them leaning on that old tree? No fire anywhere? BORING."

"Rory was a lone Alpha until I joined her pack. It just felt right to me. We're a good fit as a pack and I like how she encourages me to explore being a Werewolf."

"Who knows if I'd take a cure or not. I mean, right now? No. My pack is pretty cool. I'm still figuring out everything I can do. Why would I want to give that up?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll admit that I feel kind of bad about what happened to Celene. I know she was pretty traumatized by it all. She, well... we were both pretty scared. I don't know, I don't think I want to talk about it, even with you."

"When you're the new wolf on the block, you'll notice that you certainly have less control than the others. Give it time, it gets better."

"I'm always getting asked why I didn't take the antidote after our encounter, like Celene did. Well, I figured I was strong enough to ride it out. It was just a small bite! I guess I was wrong... "

"Just because I'm all about embracing the inner beast doesn't mean I'm opposed to someone seeking a cure. Be true to you. That's what's important. Just don't try to make me take it!"

"If I wasn't a Werewolf, I think I'd want to be a Mermaid. Surprised? Eh, don't be. They also have a connection to the moon, you know? With the tides and all that. Did you know mermaids can stay out of the water longer during a Full Moon?"

#he had WAY more responses than i was anticipating #i saw maybe like....2 of these in regular gameplay sheesh

[ketchum-jai]

Prompt Exercise

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Katsuki Bakugo and Ochako Uraraka

The evening is calm - leaves that are various shades of red and orange fall from the tall trees, sweeping across the ground that’s covered in brown and yellow grass and sticks by the brisk breeze. The sun is beginning to set, causing pink rays to illuminate the partly cloudy sky.

“Dadeee...” A young boy’s shrill voice makes it all the way to the top of the small hill where a man in his early to mid twenties, sits on top of an extra-large, burgundy blanket spread out underneath him with his left leg fully extended in front of him while the other one is folded up. With his lips curled down into a slight frown he hollers down at the boy, “Whadaya want, Toshi?”

Toshi’s face beams as his eyes that are the same fiery red as his light up in excitement. “I finally got my quirk, daddy. Wanna see?” He smiles wide from ear to ear exposing the few missing teeth in the front.

His eyes widen a bit; blinking a few times while his toned abs tense up, and his abdomen feels like it’s twisting and turning into a million tiny knots, and his hands that are laying flat by his sides clench into tight fists. He feels small fingers that are smooth and warm gently brush the back of his hand, and intertwining with his much larger fingers, then a warm palm rests on top of it. He looks to the right and gazes at a pair of big, auburn eyes that soften when his face begins to melt.

“Ochako.” He says in a breathless voice.

She gives him a small smile making his muscles relax a bit as she spoke in that cute, bubbly voice that he adores so much. “I know I should’ve told you as soon as it happened, but...” She pauses then looks down at their son as he waves up at them from the bottom of the hill. She smiles, waves back at him with her free hand, then places it firmly on her growing baby bump. She tells him in a much quieter tone, “I just didn’t know how you would’ve taken the news, given everything that’s happened and why-”

He huffs then snarls, “Damn Ochako, did you really think I’d be bothered by the fact that my own goddamn kid got his quirk? Do you think I’m a bad dad or something?”

She gasps then shakes her head profusely. “No,” she states firmly, “It isn’t like that. Kacchan-”

He scoffs, snatching his hand from underneath hers then spits out bitterly, “Ah, don’t fucking call me that!”

“Oh please, don’t act like that nickname bothers you so much. I’ve been calling you that for years.” She says teasingly, furrowing her eyebrows with a sly grin spread across her face.

He scowls then turns away from her and mumbles to himself with his arms folded over his strong chest. “Whatever. Don’t play with me.”

“What was that?” She asks, pretending not to hear what he just said.

He nearly chokes on his own spit then coughs before answering subtly, “Eh, nothing. I love you.”

“Mmhm, that’s what I thought you said,” She sneers, scooting closer to him and wrapping her slightly chubby arms around his broad shoulders.

He sighs; his mind suddenly wandering back to the time when his quirk first manifested. He was the coolest kid on the block because none of the other kids who were starting to get their quirks had one that compared to his. Everyone was amazed by him and thought he was so awesome; including Deku - the poor kid admired him so much he allowed himself to be bullied by him. All because he was born without a quirk, Katsuki thought it was fine to treat as if he wasn’t a person deserving of basic human respect. Now look at him - Izuku’s the number one hero, while he had to settle into life as a working man, husband, and father. All because of his quirk backfiring on him and nearly killing him.

That same quirk that garnered him so much attention growing up. The same quirk that made it possible for him to be ranked second in his class when he attended UA. He had such high hopes and was on the protectory of being a top hero; despite that nerd being chosen by All Might himself. He was supposed to have been number one; but nope, all because his heart exploded because his supposed upgraded hero costume couldn’t handle the intensity of his explosion quirk. It was a miracle his heart was even able to be restarted in the first place; and sadly, a second chance at life meant he had to abandon his dreams and pursue a normal life.

He hates his job as a police officer. Yeah, he works with heroes catching and arresting the bad guys that aren’t dangerous enough to warrant seeking the aid of one and showing up to the scene after the fight’s been over with. But he adores his wife and and loves their son and unborn daughter. Despite his dreams being shattered it warms his heart knowing she gets to live hers.

“Daddy!” Toshi cries again while jumping up and down in excitement breaking Katsuki from his thoughts.

Ochako releases him from her embrace, allowing him to stand up on his feet, and he holds out his hand to help her up. She takes it and slowly stands up then they make their way slowly down the hill hand in hand. The wind started to pick up a little and Katsuki pulled Ochako closer to him as they made their way down to the tiny boy. She smiles warmly at him while snuggling closer to Katsuki and pulling her oversized pink flannel closed over her black, fitted jumpsuit. Their child is truly a perfect blend of the both of them; those sharp, crimson eyes obviously comes from Katsuki, but the wild, spiky, auborn colored hair is all her. Toshi is cheery and bubbly like Ochako most of the time, but if he doesn’t get his way he becomes hot headed and stubborn like him. Toshi loves dressing like his dad, and today isn’t an exception. They both are wearing a pair of loose-fitted, dark blue jeans; a black t shirt underneath a red bomber jacket; and a pair of crisp, white high top sneakers.

“Look what I can do!” He says while holding up his right hand and touching the tip of his middle finger with his thumb.

Katsuki’s face remained expressionless until Toshi snaps his fingers causing a loud, popping noise along with what looked like tiny orange and red particles. Huh? Did Katsuki see that right? “Explosion?” He asks Ochako. She chuckles a little bit before answering him, “Not quite...I don’t think. I would say it’s more like fireworks.”

He gazes back down at the boy as he continued snapping his fingers on both hands causing a frenzy of sparks to appear along with that loud popping and cracking noise. Interesting; it does remind him of fireworks, and apparently this is explosion combined with zero gravity. His lips curls up into a small smile as he watches the boy show off his quirk. The way Toshi’s eyes gleam with joy warms his heart.

“See daddy,” he stops snapping his fingers and they both notice the tips are black and red, “now I can grow up and be a police officer like you.”

Ochako gasps then turn to see tears well up in her husband’s eyes. He’ll deny it happening later, though. Katsuki scoops him up in his arms and holds him tight. Toshi wraps his arms around his neck and tells him, “I love you daddy. You’re my hero.”

#anime #anime and manga #fanfics #fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #urakara ochako #bnha #cute #headcanon #wholesome #creative writing #writing prompt #fic prompt #katsuki x ochako

[quantrix02]

The Legendary Akira Toriyama’s impact

I needed an extra day to gather my thoughts before I wrote this. What do I even say about man who has literally help morph me into the person I am today. Some may think it’s a little odd to get emotional over a person you have never met or better yet even seen in the public eye. Mr. Toriyama was a really private man that even people who worked on his project have never met him, but some how his worked has touched and influenced millions across the world. You can hate Dragon Ball, but you cannot deny its influence on not only manga/anime, but pop culture in general. No other series had athletes throwing kamehamehas as celebrations, or rappers using a super saiyan bar in their flow. This man’s doodle of a little monkey kid has made it all the way to nationally watched Macy’s day parade as a float! Referenced constantly in other cartoons, anime, and video games. He set the standards for transformations in anime with the creation of “Super Saiyan”, a very subtle change of the hair (something he was really good at) became iconic and many series followed it. Gear 5, 6 path sage Mode, Super Sonic, all influenced by Toriyama.

I have to talk about my own personal attachment to Mr. Toriyama’s work. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without Dragon Ball coming into my life. If I didn’t catch Dragon Ball randomly on a Saturday morning in the late 90s and then a littler later with Z premiering on Toonami who knows if I’d even be watching anime today. As a kid growing up I was hooked, I couldn’t consume enough DB content. Goodbye Power Rangers, Goku and the Z Fighters were my new heroes. Running home after school to see how Goku was gonna overcome the odds was an event everyday! Going to Suncoast (a true throwback IYKYK) and picking up the overpriced VHS tapes just to watch stuff from a 20 episodes ahead of the Toonami broadcast and sharing it with my friends made me the coolest kid on the block. Going online and printing out cool pictures of Trunks, Broly, Majin Vegeta (before they debut on American soil) and putting them in front of of my school binder was a time. The posters, figures, videos games, t shirts that my mom and now myself has spent on this product is a little ridiculous, but I wouldn’t change it.

This loss has hit me harder than any celebrity passing in awhile. This is a MJ, Kobe level loss for me. Toriyama sama I know that you didn’t interact with fan, but I hope you could see the impact you have made in this world. My other favorite Mangaka made their manga because of you. I’ve met life long friends because of you, I’m on this app weekly livebloggin anime because of you. So many people love your work and that goes beyond Dragon Ball. Dragon Quest, Dr. Slump, Jaco, Blue Dragon, and so much more of your work will forever be celebrated. You are a true legend and will never be forgotten. Thank you for everything you’ve given us. Rest well

_Sincerely a fan 🐉

#toonami #dbz #akira toriyama #dragon ball

[thatgirlwithasquid]

Harringrove Week - Blind Date

(This fic is also posted on my AO3 account: here)

Post Season/Series 02 | Blind Date | Flirting | Steve Harrington is a Mess | Gay Panic | Diners | First Kiss | Making Out 

Words: 2,624

-

“Steve, please-”

“Not a chance. I am not letting you guys pimp me out just because you want to distract your brother.”

“But Steeeve,” Dustin jumps in, quickly coming to Max’s aid as the other kids continue to give him their best attempts at sad puppy eyes. “This is important.”

“You’re teaching Max to play Dungeons and Dumbasses-”

“Dragons,” they groan in sync.

“Whatever, shitheads,” he dismisses, trying to move round the group from where they’re blocking his way back into his own damn car. “I said I’d pick you guys up after school to go hang out in mini-Nancy-” Mike pulls an affronted face “-’s basement and play your loser game, but I’m not giving up my whole evening with Random Girl’s brother just because she wants to get out of having him keep an eye on her.”

“I’m old enough to look after myself!”

“Ha! Yeah, right,” he laughs. “You’re thirteen. Besides, with all the crazy demo-whatever shit that keeps going down, I don’t think I’m old enough to be going around without supervision. Hell, is anyone?”

The kids groan again, slumping dramatically into each other.

“But even El is coming,” Will chimes in, sounding heartbreakingly sad at the turn of events and- DAMNIT, STEVE, stay strong!

“We never all hang out as a group,” Mike agrees.

Lucas nods, before darting a look at Dustin who turns to Steve and- Shit, this is a coordinated effort to wear Steve down, isn't it? To make him pity the little shits and cave like some big softie. He’ll have to remind them that he took a bat to a swarm of demodogs - granted, he had thought it was the one but he’d still done it. Do they think they can break him so easily?

“Steve, please, man. We never all hang out. We’ll owe you big time - we’re only asking you because you’re the coolest person we know.”

…Well, they can.

“Fucking fine,” he growls out, most of his aggression directed at his own weak resolve and, from the elated look the little shits share, they very well know that. “Get in then - except you-” he waves a finger at Max. “Go get your brother to give you a lift. Where am I even meeting him?”

“Benny’s old place. It’s been gutted and redone.”

“Didn’t that guy kill himself? A little morbid don’t you think?”

“Suck it up, Steve,” Max calls over her shoulder as she whirls around to skate away.

Steve sighs, gesturing for the rest of the kids to hurry up in their scampering into Steve’s car. The doors shut with varying thunks before Steve swings into the driver’s seat and turns the key in the ignition. 

-

Steve drops the nuisances off and loiters in the Wheelers’ basement, half-praying that Max will show up and announce that the plan is off, that her brother isn’t even interested. It’s worrying him a little, to be honest - going on a date with a guy is risky shit, like, what if someone sees? Sure, Steve’s cool with it - he realised pretty recently that, yeah, definitely likes guys too - but not everyone is, and even then, even Steve had said some homophobic shit in the past.

He cringes at the thought.

And then there’s the fact that it’s a blind date. He has no idea who this guy is, or if the guy even knows he’s meeting Steve. Is it better or worse if they’re both in the dark? He can’t decide, shrugs it off, and goes back to his worrying.

Sure, they’re probably not gonna be obvious about the fact that this is a date, as has been established-

“Yes, Steve,” Max had said, rolling her eyes. “I mean a date as in a romantic date. With my brother.”

-but that doesn't mean no one around them will clock on. Steve is trying to calm himself, telling himself that it’ll just look like two dudes hanging out, being bros, totally platonically platonic. But then what if they do manage it but they do hit it off? Steve is an affectionate guy - that would suck! Not being able to reach over and touch and openly flirt is the worst thing Steve can imagine in that scenario.

Damn, being into guys is hard.

“For the kids,” he mutters to himself in an attempt to psych himself up, pacing a small circle.

“Mhmm, for the kids, Steve,” Dustin echoes absently, not even looking up from where he’s helping Mike set up for their campaign.

“You’re gonna do great man,” Lucas nods from his lounged position on the couch.

He shoots them a bitter smile and keeps pacing until the door is thrown open, footsteps racing down it until Max is revealed.

“Okay, all set,” she grins.

Steve dies inside just a little.

“Get moving!” she scolds, moving to drag Steve towards the stairs. “He’s on his way there now so you gotta go or you’ll be late!”

“Fuckkk,” he groans, letting himself be led with no small amount of reluctance. Maybe he can run to Nancy and she can hide him in her closet? He can be quiet in there, stealthy as a ninja.

“He’ll meet you at the far left of the counter,” Max says in lieu of goodbye as she shuts the basement door in his face.

Shit.

-

He pulls up outside what a neon sign proclaims to be “Frankie’s Diner”. It’s still Benny’s in Steve's head, though. He didn’t know the guy and had only come here once or twice before, but it’s hard to shake the feeling of how this place should be something else.

Other than that the place seems nice enough. New windows have been put in the front, bigger so that Steve can see the new booths inside. The white leather upholstery contrasts nicely against the walls painted, he doesn’t really know, some shade of light blue. It looks nice. Steve, though still unbearably anxious and feeling more than a little flighty, is admittedly a little excited to go inside.

It’s just because he hasn’t eaten out in a while. He hasn’t had the time, motivation or excuse.

A bell trills happily above the door as he pushes it open. A few of the diner’s inhabitants glance up as he enters, but most are happily chatting with their company or tucking into food that actually smells great - maybe that’s how the place is attracting a decent amount of clientele despite its gruesome backstory.

Or maybe, he thinks cynically, the gruesome history is the appeal - come see the diner where a guy killed himself! Tragedy can be sensationalised, after all.

He shudders, but presses on, scanning the faces at the counter, looking for the last at the left and-

Oh fuck no. No. No way. There must be some mistake. Somehow Max’s brother isn’t here yet, that’s the only explanation for why Hargrove is leaning against the far edge of the counter, chatting to the waitress behind it with his best Charming Smile.

There’s no way Steve has agreed to go on a date with Billy Hargrove.

But then Hargrove cuts his conversation with the waitress off and turns to glance at the door and when his eyes land on Steve he grins, and the look is utterly feral.

Hesitantly, Steve makes his way over to the counter beside Hargrove.

“No fucking way Max convinced King Steve to… hang out with me,” Billy smirks, eyes sparkling with a dangerous sort of mischief.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

“You’re Max’s brother?” he manages, because, quite frankly, that’s about all he’s capable of managing. On top of his horror and bafflement, he’s fucking drowning in how fuckin good Hargrove has cleaned himself up. The guy’s wearing a red shirt, half unbuttoned as standard, and the tightest jeans Steve’s ever fucking seen - damn, the guy’s ass… - with his jacket tossed over his shoulder from whenever he took it off. But that’s not all - that wouldn’t be all because life is out to make Steve suffer. Hargrove has clearly put more effort than usual into his hair and, yep, that’s eyeliner he’s wearing. It’s subtle, just a dark line framing his eyes in a way that makes them fucking sparkle.

Goddamnit, Max. Steve’s only a man, but making him this attracted to Billy? This is going to be the death of him.

“Through marriage only,” the guy huffs. “The little brat’s a major pain in my ass.”

“Clearly a lot of love there,” Steve is saying, before he can get over his shock enough to have any sort of a filter. “I can see why she was so desperate to get me to occupy your time so she didn't have to put up with you.”

“That the only reason you agreed, Harrington?” Billy says, continuing to smirk. Steve would’ve thought that would’ve offended the guy, but clearly he’s just having too much of a blast with who his current company is to care about his rudeness. 

“Obviously,” he scoffs, willing his eyes to stay on Hargrove’s face and not to glance down.

Hargrove hums in response and then leans in, closer to Steve than he probably should since they’re in public. It’s in that moment, though, that Steve learns that Billy smells like cologne, cigarette smoke and something else unnamable.

“I guess I’ll just have to do a better job at convincing you it’s worth it for… other reasons…”

Then he’s leaning away and the waitress is back and Steve is just left standing there, gaping dumbly.

Holy shit.

That was hot.

Should that have been hot?

Oh, fuck. He’s so screwed.

It turns out that Billy’s chatting with the waitress had been him ordering a chocolate milkshake. She hands it over to the guy with a flirtatious smile that leaves Billy grinning in return. Steve doesn’t know what to make of that. He hopes, suddenly, this whole thing isn’t some kind of set up.

“And anything for you?” the waitress turns to ask him, eyes hesitant to leave Billy for a second.

“Uh, nothing for now. I’ll order when we get food. We - uh - gonna go sit, or what?”

Billy shoots him a grin.

“Sure thing.”

Sure thing? Why couldn’t things be this easy with Hargrove at school? It’d make Steve’s life so much easier.

-

Hargrove was fucking smooth. It just kept making everything worse. Steve was trying very hard not to obsess over how attractive the guy was being, because he might have agreed to the date but the guy was still Billy Hargrove, and he kept being even hotter with every minute.

“Wanna share, Pretty Boy?” he’d asked after Steve complained about being thirsty during the wait for their food and his drink to arrive.

It had made him flush red, but he couldn’t exactly back down from the offer or it’d be weird surely. So he’d taken a sip from the second straw the guy had apparently grabbed, trying to ignore the way he could feel Hargrove’s eyes on him the whole time. 

“Thirsty there, Stevie?” the guy had mocked, leaning forward on his elbows onto the table. “You really-” his eyes flicked to Steve’s lips for a moment “-went for it.”

Steve cleared his throat, glancing away momentarily. When he looked back, Billy was reaching out for the straw Steve had used, then twirling it idly between his fingers. Hargrove’s eyes met Steve’s, blue and intense, ordering him to watch without words. Then, he ducked forward, never breaking eye contact, to suck from the straw Steve had just used.

Fuck-

When the guy pulled away, his tongue poked out to taste his lips, as if searching for a further taste. And, shit, that did things to Steve. If he hadn’t been sat down already, he’d have been on the floor. He was fucking shaking, and Billy made it worse by reaching out with his foot under the table to stroke Steve’s leg.

Luckily - or incredibly unluckily - it was at that moment the waitress reappeared with their food, breaking whatever was happening up.

And now they’re eating, chatting over their burgers that are as good as they smelled. It’s good. It’s really good. Billy’s still an asshole but he’s… funny. And he’s certainly got enough energy to leave Steve utterly enthralled as he bitches about anything and everything.

Steve’s having a lot of fun.

Steve’s having a lot of fun on a date with Billy Hargrove. It’s insane. He would almost be sure he’d imagined the fact that this was entirely not platonic if Billy didn’t keep blatantly flirting with him. But he did.

“Still can’t believe I’m taking out King Steve,” Billy grins this time, before it turns wicked. “Shall we see if I can do one better and take King Steve home with me? Y’know… I haven’t had a sleepover in so long-” he pointedly looks Steve up and down “and I’ve never had one with such… appealing company.”

Steve flushes. Again. He really can’t handle being flirted at, he’s just so used to doing all the flirting. It’s nice, and a little overwhelming.

“And they say chivalry is dead,” Steve smirks.

“Haven’t I taken you on a nice romantic outing, Harrington?” Billy asks, seductive smile still in place, quirking a brow.

“I don’t know if I’d say romantic,” he taunts, leaning forward, “since this little… hang out is going to be kept secret, and all your advances have been about getting in my pants.”

“You wanna see romantic, Pretty Boy?” Hargrove grins, slapping the money for their bill down on the table. “Then you’d better follow me.”

Steve doesn’t waste any time in following, sliding from his seat in the booth and following Billy out the door, hearing the bell jingle its farewell at them. He couldn’t care less, eyes roving over Billy’s back as he leads them around to the back of the building before he’s suddenly spinning to press Steve gently against the wall.

“You want romance?” Billy purrs, leaning in close, making Steve’s brain utterly shut down. The smell of cigarettes and cologne is back. “Want me to tell you how pretty you are, Stevie?” Billy ducks in and presses his lips to Steve’s cheek “How endless those brown eyes of yours are?” The other cheek “How I think about you all the time?” The corner of his mouth now, Steve’s breaths shallowly puffing against his lips where they hover less than an inch away “Well, I’m not much of a romantic, but I can make an exception just this once.”

And then he’s ducking in and pressing his lips to Steve’s so gentle and sweet. Chaste. He still tastes of chocolate milkshake.

When Billy pulls back he’s smirking again, eyes predatory.

“That romantic enough for you, pretty boy?” his voice rumbles.

Steve can barely string together enough words to even form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence, so he just nods.

Billy leans back in again, melting Steve’s brain entirely. He’s fairly sure he’s only upright because of the wall behind his back and Billy’s palm on his chest. Their lips brush together again and, embarrassingly, Steve whines.

And that must set Billy off because then he’s pressing harder, hungrier, more how Steve had expected him to be. The guy licks into his mouth and presses him into the wall with his weight and, fuck, Steve’s a gonner. He tries to kiss back but mostly just ends up panting into the space between them whenever Billy pulls back to breathe.

And then lips are on the skin of his neck, teeth dragging against the tendons and nipping beneath his jaw, and Steve’s knees pretty much buckle. 

Fuck.

Yeah, he doesn’t think he’d mind keeping Billy occupied again. For Max and the Party, of course.

#harringroveweek #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #squid writes #squid draws #fanfiction #fanart

[stitchandani]

So what would you guys say are your favorite episodes of The Series?

ArtistIssues

My favorites are:

Spooky - Probably some of the best animation in the show is in this episode, plus they nail the Halloween-spooky-fun vibe, it’s fun to see the nervous-scared side of Stitch’s personality, and Spooky’s whole function is so genius! And almost everything Pleakley says in this episode makes me laugh.

Splodyhead - I’ve always loved this episode. I love Splodyhead, too. I particularly like episodes where characters who hate each other are forced to work together on a desert island. That’s a trope I’m here for!

Poxy - I love Poxy. When I was a kid I used to ride around the neighborhood on a scooter pretending to be him and his slick little germ self.

627 - This episode was so so cool when I was a kid. I love 627’s black claws and how all-out they went designing him. Plus, again, an episode where we’re shown how unstoppable Stitch always is, until he isn’t anymore, is such a cool break from the norm.

Bonnie & Clyde - I adore the different musical score in this episode, and I love Bonnie & Clyde’s dynamic together and the fact that they can speak English, but they’re rotten little alien life form stinkers. And I love Pleakley in this episode, too. I could just rate every episode based on Pleakley moments. But then I’d have to add Holio to this list which is already too long!

Doverstar will chime in, too! Doverstar:

Angel - It's my #1 favorite episode of the show, for sure. It hits all the nostalgic notes for me. Angel is my favorite experiment, and though the animation in this episode is terrible, I'm a huge fan of Angel's color palette in it and the idea behind the episode. The fact that love is what turns Angel from bad to good - and that it's Stitch who names Angel and changes her, instead of Lilo, which was the norm - love that. Plus it's cool there's an experiment in the 600's series that exists whose primary function is literally the opposite of the goal of the series.

Remmy - I like this one because of the emotional plot, and the fact that it focuses on Lilo and her mind and the lasting affects of her parents' death on the family. Any particularly deep Lilo-centric episode is a standout in my book! As a kid, the heavily-decorated "door" in Lilo's dream, which she says always has "bad things" on the other side of it, was super creepy and interesting to me. I remember thinking even at that age that the scene of her parents' actual crash would be behind that door, or maybe their gravestones, or maybe just a flashback of the night they didn't come home. I both did and did not want to see that. But no, instead it was Lilo's hula school and disarmingly-kind classmates, which is also interesting! All in all, it's my second favorite because of the slightly-deeper-than-usual subject matter. 627 - This one is purely nostalgia-based for me. The 627 episode was one of the all-time coolest to us growing up, like Arti said! Lots of her reasons for listing this one are the same as mine. Always cool to see Stitch come to terms with the fact that though he's pretty cool, he's not always the best at everything. And extra wonderful to hear Lilo say something like "So what if you're not king of the block anymore? You're still king of my block." So. Good. So sweet. Love that. Shoe - Shoe is one of my top 5 favorite experiments. I like the plot in this episode and the animation in it too! I like Pleakley's comedy beats, and the idea of turning the old ship into a B&B was genius for a show about aliens living on Kauai. Perfect. But Shoe's lil emotional journey makes me very happy. His sole purpose is for the gain of other people, and he's at least intelligent enough to understand that people only seem to value him for what he can do for them, and then finding out Lilo specifically likes him even when he's bad luck? 10/10. One of those times where part of the episode isn't just catching the cousin or showcasing the shenanigans its abilities get the cast into, but showing how the experiment goes from bad to good and why. Dupe - Because Dupe's design delights me, because the writing in this episode is fantastic, because the idea of a slumber party at Lilo's house with the experiments instead of four bratty human girls who'd ruin all the fun anyway is awesome, and because in the end, Lilo gets another reminder that even if she wants lots of friends, having one like Stitch at her side is more than good enough. Retro - I always wanted this one to air often on TV growing up, specifically because it was later in the show and therefore rarer to see rerunning. I thought Retro's ability was so cool, and I was especially interested in the little glimpses of Nani's life before becoming sole caretaker of Lilo. Plus the setting of a cruise ship is always fun! Swapper - Lilo gets a human friend Lilo gets a human friend Lilo gets a human friend LILO GETS A HUMAN FRIEND- Snooty - Victoria gets an experiment of her own, Snooty is precious and Halloween-y, more looks at Victoria/Lilo's friendship, Pleakley driving is hilarious, and the ending gets me every time. Amnesio - Gantu? An excellent friend for Lilo? Latent protective affection for the cute little Earthling? It's more likely than you think- Bad Stitch - I like this one because it has some of my favorite Lilo/Stitch moments. It also seems to have unused material from the original movie? Maybe? I don't know, but Chris Sanders seems like the kind of guy who would suggest more of Lilo training Stitch like a "puppy" and squirting him with the stupid water bottle. I especially love the ending, where Lilo tells Stitch she knows he's good, even if he breaks things. And how Stitch wants to behave because Lilo asks him to, and she loves him, and that's why he wants to behave. Love that. The Asteroid - Jumba recognizing that Earth is his home and that the Pelekais are his family waters my crops and clears my skin. And I love watching the whole Ohana work together on a planet-saving space trip.

#ArtistIssues #asked #answered #favorite Lilo & stitch the series episodes #the series #L&S #Bonnie #Clyde #Splodyhead #627 #Poxy #spooky #doverstar #doverstar answers #favorite episodes #lilo and stitch the series #angel #angel 624 #lilo and stitch #doverstar and artistissues post #groverman6 2

[scribblelegs]

Downtown my best friend snapped this pic of me on her digital camera in the summer of 2005. I was 15, I made my ”battle”vest into a bustiers and was

Very proud of my freshly bleached subhumans shirt I found at hot topic the year before at the start of high school. I altered every article of clothing I had back then, in my room I’d sit and hand sew my patches and hem my flared leg pants.

I wore a dog tag around my neck and my friend Kylie helped pierce my lip in the bathroom that year, The only reason they let us leave class together with because she was epileptic.

I stretched my ears with the straws from the cafeteria and the plastic inserts for my tampons. I always had a different color in my bangs and black eyeliner on my waterline, I was one of 2 only kids in school whose mom signed for them to get a tattoo.. and the tattoo artist was a friend of mine from a local band I liked called my son cid

That winter when I got back from Disney World with marching band I pierced my own septum with a block of ice and a safety pin

…and I was the only punk girl at school driving to Cleveland for shows for as long as I could remember.

& in closing I am still the coolest person I know

🥰

Have a good night

[every-non-reason]

08/25

Two nights ago, it was chicken tenders keeping me up late at night. Last night, it was Seth. 

No, not like that. To be fair, I haven’t had much human interaction almost all summer. Besides my family, the people I pass on the block, and my occasional sign of life on social media, I’ve totally ceased existence. So obviously, a run-in with someone who actually took care to remember my name would stick with me.

Still, I slept…oddly well.

I’m staring at my Econ 2 assignment right now. As much as I’d love to write (in impeccable handwriting) that I’m emulating all the online study aesthetics right now, it, in fact, is not. For one, the people there are actually motivated to do their productive things. I just wanted to be truthful to my grandparents this weekend and tell them I’ve been hard at work. 

My Lolo and Lola worked hard at everything they did to get to the United States from the Philippines. They balanced school with siblings and shifts at a post office to slowly raise the money to pay for university themselves. And here I was forgetting what costs and benefits were even though they were the root of last year’s class. It makes me upset if I think on it too much, but it’s the truth.

I wonder if Gabriel ever took this class before he graduated Franklin, but the thought of messaging him comes with lots of anxiety. Mom and Dad don’t talk about him much. Yeah, even Dad’s upset with him. That’s saying something. I’m gonna stop writing about it.

It is hot as hell outside. It’s weird how we still have assignments to do when it’s this hot out.

I should stop stalling and actually work. 

But it’s actually pretty out, too. 

No, I need this done less than a week from now.

But it’s summer.

Okay, I promise, I promise I’m gonna work now.

– – –

inspo 

i’ll get the coolest shaggy cut if i am not too loud and paint my nails the darkest black that mom would dare allow and when it chips on pots and pans i’ll filter it with shine ‘cause this is teenage recklessness staying right here in line

– – –

Two hours have passed and I’ve answered one question. And wrote a poem. And scrolled through lots of social media. 

People love to post about their summers on Instagram. And all the friends they’ve managed to hold onto, even through the heat. And I know that they’re really just kids, in the end, just like me. But they look like gods on my page, shining their happiness out for the whole world to see. It makes me wonder what I’m doing to make my own summer that worthwhile.

I can’t help but feel like I’m kind of wasting this summer. Well, it’s kind of too late to back up now, since there’s maybe four days left of it. But I’m allowed to wish things went differently. Even though they didn’t. Well.

You had plenty of time to change it around, an unfriendly voice in my head says. But no. You kind of just let this happen. Do your work. You can save these last couple days by being productive. 

Maybe I’ll feel better once I’ve seen my grandparents. They’ll remind me that there’s other humans out there besides my family. I hope. 

All that the break and the heat and the lack of routine has done for me is make me really, really, really tired.  

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS DNI

PLZ HAVE YOUR AGE IN BIO BEFORE FOLLOWING

YOU WILL BE BLOCKED OTHERWISE

warnings: language, talk of zombie killing, zombies

AN: so basically neither gif has any connection to what I wrote but woody harrelson looks hot in both so fuck it.

“All clear!” Little Rock called out. I pushed off the Cadillac and hitched the backpack back up my shoulder. Tallahassee put his duffle in my outstretched hand and I threw that over my other shoulder.

“So you gonna tell me whose house this is?” I asked as we walked up the stairs, columbus’s bag over Tallahassee’s shoulder and witchita’s in his hand. He laughed as we entered the house.

“take a look around and see sweetheart. It shouldn’t be too difficult to figure it out.” I rolled my eyes as I dropped his duffle in the doorway.

“fine be that way Florida.” I turned left and started to explore. It was ten minutes before I found the stairs. Little Rock looked up from the book she had found. “You guys pick your rooms yet?” She shook her head.

“I haven’t. I don’t know about the lover birds. Or if Tallahassee found anything yet.” I nodded before mounting the stairs.

”thanks.”

“By the way, if you find any games bring them down! It’s going to be a long night!” I laughed at Little Rock’s enthusiasm. I started walking around the second level and quickly found the master bedroom. Steeling my nerves, I knocked on the door before pushing it open. I let out the air I was holding. Being with a couple and a man who was more akin to Hugh Hefner than anyone else made you cautious before barging into rooms.

“thank god.” I muttered before tossing my bag on the bed. I closed the door and turned towards the window. There was a window seat and a side table. I sat down and started looking through the knickknacks next to me. As I looked through them my eyes widened. Standing up quickly, the table nearly crashed to the floor. “TALLAHASSEE!” I cried out as I ran out of the room. “TALLAHASSEE!“

”(Y/N)! Be quiet!” Columbus appeared out of nowhere. “You don’t know where the…”

”Oh shut up Columbus! TALLAHASSEE!” I pushed the scrawny nerd out of the way and took off for the stairs. Witchita laughed as I leaned over the railing and continued to call for the leader of our little gang.

“what?” Tallahassee appeared from the dining room, looking up at me. A smile spread across my face as I looked down at him. He smirked back at me before mounting the stairs. “Oh I see. You figured out whose house this is.” I started to laugh as I started backing up towards the master bedroom. “So tell sweetheart. Who lived here?” I laughed as tallahassee jokingly tried to grab me. I quickly hopped back and turned to run back into my room. “What? Now you aren’t going to tell me? Is this payback?”

”Tommy fucking Lee!” I giggled as I collapsed on the bed. Tallahassee laughed as he joined me and held his arm out so I could curl up on him if I chose. “one of the coolest drummers in all of history! Of the one and only motley fucking Crue!” I rolled Over and out my head on his chest. “Thank you.” Tallahassee kissed my temple and rubbed my back.

“No problem.“ he tucked me into his side more and we settled into silence. “I’d heard it was empty. Los Angeles is nearly cleared out of zombies. Of course that doesn’t mean a hell of a lot with mutations and just regular spreading but we’ve been a fairly good clean up crew. And all things considered, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea to stick around.” I looked up at him. “Columbus and witchita have been talking about moving on. Settling down. Even if it’s just us and Little Rock it couldn’t be that bad. She’s almost our kid anyway. And what better place to go than somewhere that would make you happy.“ I smiled as I listened to him talk. “Life’s been rough and maybe we don’t exactly deserve the good weve had Especially recently but in the end,” he looked down at me and smiled. “It’s the holidays and I’m feeling romantic so how about we finally settle down and spend the rest of our lives together.” I sat up and looked down at him.

“Tallahassee are you asking me to marry you?” He nodded. “In Tommy lees bed?” He nodded again. “And stay in this house?“ Tallahassee sat up and smiled as everything started to click. “Fuck yes!” I threw myself at him. We laughed before settling down and just enjoying the moment. “When do we tell them?” Tallahassee shrugged.

“whenever you want.“ his fingers traced unconnected patterns into my back. “Sorry about the lack of a ring. I’ll get one first chance I get. You deserve it.“ I pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

“doesn’t matter much. Just need you.” I mumbled before the week of chaos caught up to us both and we drifted off.

#Woody harrelson #woody harrelson fanfic #woody harrelson x reader #woody harrelson fanfiction #Woody harrelson imagine #Tallahassee #tallahassee zombieland #tallahassee x reader #Tallahassee fanfic #Tallahassee fanfiction #Tallahassee imagine #Zombieland #zombieland x reader #Zombieland fanfic #Zombieland fanfiction #Zombieland imagine #holiday

[hartofhearts]

Why Tifa is the only person, living or dead, who can resolve Cloud’s crisis

Alternate title: “What really happened in the Lifestream”

Of course the Lifestream scene has been discussed to death within the fandom. While some consider it one of the greatest triumphs of the Cloud/Tifa relationship and the game in general, others are quick to diminish its events and Tifa’s role. “Oh, any other childhood friend character who knew Cloud could do the job.” “Oh, Cloud only needed Tifa as moral support, he could have figured everything out himself.” “Oh, Aerith (maybe +Zack) could have done it by accessing her Cetra/time machine/empath/Planet powers.”

The Lifestream sequence is extraordinarily dense with many subtle visual cues, so there’s a lot to untangle and interpret. But no matter how you slice it, any take which downplays or eliminates Tifa is fundamentally missing the point of this scene, both for the plot and for Cloud’s character arc.

A lot of the confusion stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what actually needs to happen in the Lifestream and why. Thus, using specific details from the sequence, I’d like to present my take on the following:

Part 1: What Cloud needs to accomplish in the Lifestream to advance the plot

Part 2: Why Tifa is the only person, living or dead, who can resolve Cloud’s crisis, where we will discuss fun things such as:

Why Tifa is the the focus of his greatest flaw

What Tifa’s presence in the Lifestream accomplishes

Part 3: Why those “Tifa-less” fan theories just can’t work

This is a very long ride so let’s get to it!

Part 1: What Cloud needs to accomplish in the Lifestream to advance the plot

Many fans think that all Cloud needs to accomplish in the Lifestream is prove to himself that he existed before the Nibelheim incident. This seems to make sense, as Cloud’s mental break at Northern Crater was due him losing faith that he was truly Cloud Strife of Nibelheim, right?

But that isn’t the only thing that needs to happen. Consider this: Ex-SOLDIER Cloud does believe that he is Cloud Strife of Nibelheim for almost the entirety of the game’s first half. However, Ex-SOLDIER Cloud couldn’t correctly remember the Nibelheim incident back at Kalm, and he occasionally exhibits alarming behavior (his headaches, his attempts on Aerith’s life). So the goal of the Lifestream sequence is not to restore Cloud to this previous flawed state, but... to accomplish something more. Accomplish something that will resolve the aforementioned issues by strengthening him against Jenova’s influence.

There are two ways to strengthen Cloud against the influence of the Jenova hivemind:

Rebuild Cloud’s sense of self by identifying and accepting his personal weakness -- without writing a whole other post, individuals injected with Jenova cells are susceptible to influence by the Jenova hivemind if they have a weak sense of self and weak will; thus, Cloud needs to fully understand and accept who he truly is, weaknesses and all, in order to withstand further Jenova tampering

Establish the truth of the Nibelheim incident -- until then, silver-tongued Sephiroth/Jenova will always be able to cast doubt on Cloud’s existence using the discrepancies between Cloud’s and Tifa’s memories

And wouldn’t you know it, but the Lifestream sequence does end up accomplishing all three of these things. It:

Proves that Cloud Strife of Nibelheim existed before the Nibelheim incident

Rebuilds Cloud’s sense of self by identifying and accepting his personal weakness

Establishes the truth of the Nibelheim incident

Something to note re: #3 - Establishes the truth of the Nibelheim incident: this is actually extremely challenging to do, as the truth lies solely within Cloud, but is blocked due to his own mental weakness. This is why the Lifestream sequence begins with Cloud trying and failing to correctly remember the Nibelheim incident: while he superficially does want to understand the truth of the incident, deep down he does not want to acknowledge his personal failings that are on full display in the true memory. It is only after Cloud accepts his personal weakness that he is able to face the full truth, failings and all.

So really, #2 - Rebuild Cloud’s sense of self by accepting his personal weakness is the most pivotal portion of the Lifestream sequence, as this empowers Cloud on a personal level and also allows him to remember the Nibelheim incident correctly. And as it happens, this is the portion that only Tifa can help with.

Part 2: Why Tifa is the only person, living or dead, who can resolve Cloud’s crisis

We’ve just discussed how rebuilding Cloud’s sense of self by helping him accept his personal weakness is one of the most important goals of the Lifestream sequence--and now I’d like to explain how this can only be accomplished with Tifa’s help and no one else’s.

>> Tifa is the focus of Cloud’s greatest weakness

I think that every fan, including non-shippers and anti-Tifa fans, will agree that Cloud is insecure and has a desperate need for acceptance. But because he needs to resolve and accept this greatest weakness, his shame, the real question is... when did it become pathological? What is it focused on, and what makes it his tragic flaw? The answers will give us a hint as to what Cloud needs to come to terms with his true self.

This is shown to us in the Mt. Nibel memory--the day Tifa’s mother died. And it is actually explicitly told to us by a very important entity...

...A blacked out, silhouetted version of Cloud that casually climbs out of his slack adult form. This silhouetted version of Cloud represents the deep dark secrets about himself that Cloud has hidden away for so long, and it tells us what exactly is on its mind. 

Let’s review everything Deep Dark (DD) Cloud says:

Young Cloud: I began to think I was different... That I was different from those immature kids. That then... maybe... DD: Just maybe, they would invite me in. I thought that might happen, so I hung around...

...

DD: That night I called Tifa out to the well... I thought to myself Tifa would never come... that she hated me.

...

YC: This was the day... DD: Tifa's mother... T: The day Mom died...

...

DD: I don't remember the path I walked. Tifa missed her step. I ran to her... but didn't make it in time. Both of us fell off the cliff. Back then, I only scarred my knees but...

...

DD: Tifa was in a coma for seven days. We all thought she wouldn't make it. If only I could've saved her... I was so angry... Angry at myself for my weakness. Ever since then, I felt Tifa blamed me... I got out of control... I'd get into fights not even caring who it was.

(fade to black)

DD: That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might...

(return to the nexus/Cloud’s mind)

DD: If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me...

Many fans fixate on DD Cloud’s very first line (”just maybe, they would invite me in”), and I understand why--not only is the first satisfying eureka moment in the Lifestream, but it’s also deeply relatable. Who hasn’t felt like an outsider and wanted acceptance and approval? These same players then attribute all of Cloud’s motivations to this relatable feeling. “Cloud had a deep inferiority complex and wanted to prove himself to the world and that’s why he pretends to be the super coolest SOLDIER ever.”

But that interpretation completely ignores the other 90% of what DD Cloud says. The other 90% of Cloud’s shame is wrapped up in Tifa. “Tifa’s mom died... I tried to save Tifa, but I got off relatively unscathed while she suffered terrible injuries... Tifa must have hated me... I thought Tifa wouldn’t come to the well because she hated me... I wanted to be like Sephiroth so Tifa would notice me...” Even if a little bit of Cloud’s motivations are attributable to the contempt of the townspeople, the vast majority of it is focused on Tifa--would she always hate him? Would she ever notice him? Could he ever be worthy of her? DD Cloud’s dialogue reveals that Cloud’s shame and tragic flaw is completely centered on his need for Tifa’s approval. Perhaps only his pedestaled perception of Tifa, but Tifa all the same.

The "Cloud wants to impress all the kids” interpretation also ignores what the cinematography of this scene is telling us. The “big takeaway” of the Nibelheim memory and DD Cloud’s reveal is the single sentence that DD Cloud speaks after the memory is over and lights turn back on and they’re back at the nexus--the sentence that he “took away” from the previous scene. And look! It’s this one!

DD: If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me...

THIS. THIS IS IT. This is the root of Cloud’s shame and explains his pathological need to misremember himself as a SOLDIER and thus misremember the Nibelheim incident at all costs: he was ashamed at his inability to rescue Tifa and Mt. Nibel, so he swore to himself that he would get stronger to earn her notice. Cloud needs to be strong so Tifa will notice him; thus, Cloud creates an illusionary world where he misremembers his own identity and the Nibelheim incident in a way that makes him a strong man that is finally worthy of her. 

This is the personal weakness that Cloud needs to resolve in the Lifestream with Tifa’s help: he needs to learn that it is okay to not be the strong man, because Tifa will accept him regardless.

(And, sidebar, Cloud’s need for Tifa’s approval is not just some fleeting childhood dream in the distant past--even in present day, Ex-SOLDIER Cloud can’t bear to remember how he failed to be a stronger man for Tifa, because even in the present day, Tifa’s opinion of him is all that counts.)

>> What Tifa’s presence in the Lifestream accomplishes

While the above proves how Cloud’s personal weakness (his tragic flaw) revolves around Tifa and his feelings for her... we now need to answer, why does Cloud need Tifa to be in the Lifestream with him to work through these feelings? And this, I believe, comes down to two, very subtle, shown-not-told points:

Cloud’s honesty depends on Tifa’s presence, as Cloud’s need for Tifa to understand his feelings is greater than his need to hide his painful weaknesses from himself

Cloud draws strength from “his important person” (no matter how you want to define her: his main motivation, the person he’s been in love with forever...) accepting him and providing moral support

Let’s work through these in order.

REASON #1 -  Cloud’s honesty depends on Tifa’s presence, as Cloud’s need for Tifa to understand his feelings is greater than his need to hide his painful weaknesses from himself

This one is very easy to miss, but is illustrated in two key ways. First, did you know that DD Cloud speaks early on in the Lifestream, even before the Mt. Nibel memory? His two lines are:

T: Now that you mention it, why did you want to join SOLDIER in the first place? I always thought it was a sudden decision you made... DD: ...I was devastated. ...I wanted to be noticed. Adult Cloud: ...I was devastated. ...I wanted to be noticed. I thought if I got stronger I could get someone to notice... T: Someone to notice you...? ...who? DD: Who...? ...You know who! ...You, that's who. AC: You... T: ...Me? Why!? YC: Tifa... did you forget... about those days?

Those two lines are definitely DD Cloud’s; in the earlier photos, we see that DD Cloud’s speech bubbles don’t have a background box. These new two lines are similarly background box-less. Moreover, these lines cannot be attributed to Adult Cloud or Young Cloud. See the below comparison photos:

DD vs. Adult Cloud’s vs. Young Cloud’s speech bubbles:

What’s very interesting is the tone of the second line (”Who...? ...You know who! ...You, that's who”); this is the only exclamation that Cloud uses in the entire sequence until all the revelations of the Nibelheim Incident re-memory. DD Cloud is startled into indignance that Tifa has no idea that he’s been trying to impress her all along. (DD Cloud is like, “Tifa, the past 12 years of my life were entirely motivated by you, are you telling me that literally none of this has gotten through to you!!?”) Even if DD Cloud were dormant and hidden this entire time, the ignominy of Tifa not understanding the effort he made for her for 12 years is just too much for him to suffer through silently. 

The significance of this moment is actually incredible: the Deep Dark Secret that Cloud has been hiding from this entire time, the Deep Dark Secret that Cloud would rather die/go comatose than acknowledge... this Deep Dark Secret indignantly reveals itself just because Tifa apparently doesn’t know about it! Cloud’s need for Tifa to understand his Deep Dark Secret is even greater than Cloud’s need to be honest with himself to prevent his clone coma. 

And this becomes a trend that continues up to the Mt. Nibel memory--Cloud is reluctant to revisit these memories, and only does so because he wants Tifa to understand his feelings. Almost every other line we see Cloud’s reluctance, his disbelief at Tifa’s cluelessness, and him forcing himself to open up so Tifa can know what he’s been obsessing over for 12 years. See the dialogue yourself (my notes in square brackets):

YC: Tifa...... did you forget...... about those days? [Cloud’s disbelief that Tifa doesn’t know]

...

YC:  It's important to me... I hate to say it but... It's a very important memory... [Cloud’s reluctance to revisit the memory]  Do you want to see it? Come on, hurry. [Cloud’s need for Tifa to see]

...

AC: ...a sealed up secret... wish... Tender memories... no one can ever know... [Cloud’s reluctance to revisit the memory]

YC: Do you know where this window goes to, Tifa? [Cloud’s disbelief that Tifa doesn’t know]  Fine... I'll go. [Cloud’s need for Tifa to see]

Again, this is a tremendous moment. Cloud is only motivated to honesty for Tifa’s benefit, and takes each reluctant step towards the truth because Tifa is right next to him with all her cluelessness. In his desire to be honest for Tifa, Cloud ends up being honest for himself as well... Tifa’s presence is the only reason why Cloud can be honest to himself in the Lifestream. If not for her, Cloud never would have broached those painful memories and never would have resolved his crisis.

One last thing I want to highlight is that Cloud wouldn’t open up like this for anyone. Reread this line: “Tender memories... no one can ever know.”  If anyone else was in the Lifestream with Cloud--or if it was just Cloud by himself--DD Cloud would never have felt the need to express himself. He would have stayed hidden, preferring for Cloud and the others to forever perceive him as the super cool SOLDIER instead of a “weak man” who couldn’t even save the girl he loved back on Mt. Nibel or fulfill his promise to her.

REASON #2 - Cloud draws strength from Tifa (the object of his shame/his fellow Nibelheim survivor/the person he’s been trying to win the attention of forever/the person he’s loved for 12 years) accepting him and providing moral support

This one is the most subtle as it’s mostly shown and the dialogue is not explicit, but the scene simply does not work without it. It is thanks to Tifa’s support that Cloud is brave enough to correctly remember the Nibelheim incident. 

After DD Cloud says his final line in the nexus, he looks away from Tifa. 

Can’t even make eye contact with her, even though he was able to back in the Mt. Nibel memory. He must think that now that all the cards are on the table, Tifa will reject him in some way. Maybe she will heap on the blame for failing to save her at Mt. Nibel, or be disgusted that he dared try to win her notice, but whatever it is, he expects some kind of rejection. But... that’s not what happens. Instead, Tifa implicitly absolves him of any guilt or shame by apologizing to him instead.

DD: If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me...

T: So that was it... Sorry, Cloud. If I had only remembered more clearly what happened, I could have done something sooner...

...

So not only does Tifa fail to reject Cloud, but she also implies that Cloud is completely faultless, as she would have corrected the townspeople’s misconceptions about Cloud if she’d only known. Tifa plainly supports Cloud and does not blame him for Mt. Nibel.

Moreover, she continues to encourage Cloud after this moment. Soon after, Tifa exclaims:

T: Hang in there Cloud! Just a little longer! You've almost found the real you!

It’s only after Tifa’s words of encouragement that both Adult Cloud and DD Cloud merge into one another. This is a powerful moment; it shows that Adult Cloud hasn’t lost those deep, sealed away feelings, but has finally made peace with them. Cloud’s deep dark feelings are still a part of him but no longer hold him back; he no longer needs to misremember himself as a strong man for Tifa because Tifa accepts him as he is.

The game then explicitly shows Tifa and Cloud behaving with a togetherness that we haven’t seen the entire game--these two have finally overcome the distance between them and are able to tackle the world as a team. Cloud can finally be brave because he knows Tifa won’t leave his side.

And the game shows us this. First, Tifa, Adult Cloud, and DD Cloud all resolutely hold their fists up in unison (so ‘90s shounen anime, I love it):

Then they run into the Nibelheim memory together, side by side, literally in lockstep--look how every foot step is in sync:

This is different from previous memories, where one is always following the other or doing different things. What it shows us is that after Cloud comes clean about his shame and Tifa accepts him as he is, the two are closer together than ever before. Cloud feels brave enough to properly remember the Nibelheim incident when he has Tifa with him. 

And it’s telling that the very first moment Cloud tries to remember is...

...the memory of Tifa being injured. Not the memories of him stabbing Sephiroth (or being stabbed by him), not the memories of Zack being injured, not the memory of Cloud putting on his helmet to hide his shame. If he were still afraid of Tifa’s disappointment, Cloud would not choose to relive this as his very first memory. Yet Cloud picks a painful moment that includes Tifa, trusting that they can work through it as a team. I know I keep on saying it, but it’s the truth: Cloud is empowered to fully face his deepest shame and weakness because he knows that the real Tifa accepts him as he is and will stay by his side.

Part 3: So what does this mean for those “alternate fan theories?”

Phew! That was a lot. Let’s recheck our notes on what the Lifestream scene needs to accomplish:

Prove that Cloud Strife of Nibelheim existed before the Nibelheim incident

Rebuild Cloud’s sense of self by identifying and accepting his personal weakness

Establish the truth of the Nibelheim incident

Given what we just discussed, any substitute for Tifa would accomplish some, but not all of the above three points.

So for those fans who say...

>> “Cloud could have done it all by himself” - did... did you miss the giant floating confused Cloud?? He was trying and failing to figure it out by himself because he couldn’t bear to be honest, even for his own sake. What ultimately turns the tide is Cloud’s need to express his true feelings to Tifa, and how it outweighs his need to hide his weakness from himself; thus, without Tifa’s presence, Cloud cannot be honest with himself and cannot resolve his identity crisis. 

And PS, when Tifa says, “Cloud found himself on his own,” she’s referring to Cloud’s choice to reveal his weakness to her, and Cloud’s bravery at confronting the Nibelheim incident afterwards. She’s not saying “oh I didn’t need to be there at all and Cloud really just needed a couple extra minutes and I was basically scenery lol.” She’s complimenting Cloud for the radical honesty/personal strength that allowed him to finally express his true thoughts to her and thus to himself. 

Verdict: Cloud gets half points for #2 (accept personal weakness) and #3 (remember Nibelheim) because ultimately he’s the one who decides to reveal the truth of those moments. Cloud gets 0 points for #1 (prove his existence) because he still needed to double-check with someone who knew him as a child.

>> “any childhood friend could have helped Cloud” - sure, that childhood friend could help accomplish #1 (prove his existence), but as we previously discussed, Cloud is only motivated to be honest with himself when he realizes that Tifa doesn’t know the extent of his feelings for her. If he never that Tifa was clueless, then Cloud would have kept the Mt. Nibel memory locked away from himself and everyone else. 

Verdict: A Nibelheim rando would be able to accomplish #1 (prove his existence) but would fail to accomplish #2 (accept personal weakness) or #3 (remember Nibelheim)--Tifa is needed for DD Cloud to come clean, and Tifa’s unique role allows her to support Cloud while he works to remember the truth of the Nibelheim incident.

>> “Aerith (+Zack) could have taken care of it” - sure, Aerith (+Zack) could have shown Cloud the truth of #1 (prove his existence) and #3 (remember Nibelheim), because they both could observe the truth of those events.

But how could they help Cloud with #2 (accept personal weakness), when Cloud has been trying to hide his weakness all along and would probably feel even worse in comparison to these two shining beacons of excellence? And there’s some proof to this line of thinking; in CC, Cloud explicitly does not want to share his feelings for Tifa with Zack; and in OG, Cloud arguably tries to preserve the hero fantasy of being the Coolest SOLDIER Ever for Aerith. I can’t imagine Cloud wanting to share these “tender feelings that no one can ever know”/his love-induced weakness with anyone except for the object of those tender feelings. So #2 is still allllll Tifa, baby.

Verdict: Aerith (+Zack) could take care of #1 and #3, but they could never get Cloud to open up about #2--and even if they did, they were not the “victims” of “Cloud’s failure,” so their forgiveness/acceptance would mean nothing to Cloud and would not help him accept his own weakness.

Final thoughts:

>> Fun theory, but Cloti isn’t essential for it... the sequence still works even if Cloud’s tragic flaw is a raging inferiority complex.

There’s a difference between something technically working vs. what the game actually shows us. Yes, it could work if Cloud has a generic inferiority complex that has nothing to do with Tifa... but the game’s explanation of Cloud’s psyche (DD Cloud’s dialogue) spends >90% of its wordcount on Tifa. This argument essentially works if you throw out >90% of what the game was trying to tell you. Cloud’s entire inner world revolves around Tifa and stuffing your fingers in your ears and loudly saying lalalala does not change that.

>> But didn’t Cloud choose to hide his face because he wanted to hide his failure from everyone in town, not just Tifa, which would prove it was just a generic inferiority complex?

Sure, Cloud says:

C: I... never made it as a member of SOLDIER. I even left my hometown telling everyone I was going to join, but... I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to see anyone.

Off that line alone, one would think that he is ashamed to show his face to anyone in his hometown.

But the game shows us that Cloud specifically decided to hide when he saw Tifa.

Look how this baby is prepared to stroll into town with his Chocobo head free in that Nibelheim breeze. Not what you’d expect someone to do if they’re trying to hide from everyone, right?

But as soon as Cloud notices Tifa, he runs offscreen and puts his helmet back on while Zack can only shrug a “you do you” in reply.

It’s Tifa that Cloud couldn’t bear to disappoint. Not the rest of the town.

>> That final “resolution” moment after the Mt. Nibel incident is a little weak, isn’t it? There’s nothing explicitly saying that Tifa accepted Cloud and that’s why he’s able to shake off his shame and remember the Nibelheim incident properly.

It’s true that so much of this is implicit (the absence of Tifa berating Cloud, Tifa wishing she could have helped Cloud more back then), or shown-not-told (Tifa and Cloud raising their fists in unison, Tifa and Cloud running in unison). The OG script also jumps right to Tifa’s exclamation that the Mt. Nibel memory proves Cloud is a real person, not really lingering on Tifa accepting Cloud or anything. To be honest, the biggest reason why I even put together this theory is because 1 + 1 ≠ 4, but somehow that’s what happens in the Lifestream if we remove this shame/acceptance aspect. Also... how unsatisfying and uncharacteristic is it for Cloud to just feel ashamed that he failed to save Tifa, then for that shame to be resolved during the Nibelheim incident re-memory with a “oh it’s not that bad, at least you saved her during the Nibelheim incident so that mitigates it”? Or for it to not be resolved at all?

If Cloud was so deeply ashamed that he’d prefer to become a potato instead of face these memories, then I can’t imagine that facing the memories with zero support from Tifa would help him feel confident enough to tackle the Nibelheim re-memory. I highly suspect that this scene will be expanded upon in the Remake to explicitly highlight Tifa’s acceptance, resulting in Cloud’s readiness to expose his true memories to Tifa and himself.

#final fantasy vii #ffvii #ff7 #tifa lockhart #cloud strife #cloud x tifa #cloti #im sorry this is so long #i saw so many bad takes on the lifestream this month #i needed to get this out of my system #thank you to everyone who managed to make it to the end i appreciate you and love you

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Every single episode of Ducktales (2017) Summarized in Roughly in One Sentence or Less!

Thank you Frank and team so much for introducing this family to a new generation of kids while remaining faithful to your source material. I hope you all enjoy my attempts at humor!

Woo-oo!: We don’t really know what’s going on yet but let’s do this!

Escape To/From Atlantis!: “Well I’m wearing a kilt McDuck! A kiiiilt!”

Daytrip of Doom!: They’re all siblings now and I love them all.

The Great Dime Chase!: “Shut up, everyone! I’ve done something brilliant!” (Also: Guess’s who my favorite character is?)

The Beagle Birthday Breakout!: Lena and Webby are best girls, fight me on this

Terror of the Terra-firmians!: This is the Spoopiest episode and also the most heartwarming.

The House of the Lucky Gander!: He’s an asshole but I love him.

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!: He’s an even bigger asshole but I love him.

The Living Mummies of Toth-Ra!: I too would do anything for a good burrito.

The Impossible Summit of Mt. Neverrest!: “If I had a nickel for every person who cursed me with their dying breath, I’d be twice as rich as I already am.”

The Spear of Selene!: Of course Scrooge showed up freaking Zeus.

Beware the B.U.D.D.Y System!: The fusion of Iron Man and Sailor Moon I never knew I always wanted.

The Missing Links of Moorshire!: I always knew My Little Pony had a deadly fandom but this is ridiculous…

Mystery at McDuck Manor!: Took you long enough, Duckworth, welcome back.

Jaw$!: In this house, we love and respect Tiffany. (Also: Whoever came up with this episode title is the coolest person ever)

The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!: Scrooge and Glomgold are in love with Allison Janney, and honestly, same.

Day of the Only Child!: Doofus is even creepier than Lil’ Gideon, and that is saying something.

From the Confidential Casefiles of Agent 22!: *hums James Bond theme intensely to myself*

Who is Gizmoduck?!: He’s not throwing away his shot! (I’m sorry, I had to)

The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!: I love Louie in this episode, he’s such a mood.

Sky Pirates… in the Sky!: The Pirates of the Caribbean meets High School Music crossover starring evil Panchito I never knew I needed.

The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck!: We’re all Webby in this episode.

The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!: *ugly sobbing*

The Shadow War, Part 1: Night of De Spell!: Donald finally gets the love he deserves.

The Shadow War Part 2: Day of the Ducks!: *spoiler warning* How is she still alive?!?!?!

The Most Dangerous Game… Night!: David screaming “GAME NIGHT!” is the best damn thing I’ve ever seen.

The Depths of Cousin Fethry!: I love Cousin Spongebob!

The Ballad of Duke Baloney!: Dammit, Frank.

The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!: They’re boyfriends mates, sorry I don’t make the rules.

Storkules in Duckburg!: Storkules is the ultimate Donald Duck fan, we cannot comepete.

Last Christmas!: Somehow the Ghost of Christmas McBrayer is the least surprising thing I’ve ever seen in this show.

Whatever Happened to Della Duck?!: Oh, so that’s how she survived.

Treasure of the Found Lamp!: Dijin is the best character.

The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!: Yee–and I cannot stress this enough–haw.

The 87 Cent Solution!: *wheezing* Dammit, Frank…

The Golden Spear!: Oh my god, they were roommates!

Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!: Dammit, Frank!

Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!: “So stand out, above the crowd! Even if I gotta shout it out loud!”

Friendship Hates Magic!: Webby gets two friends for the price of one seance!

The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!: BEAKS SMASH… THAT LIKE BUTTON! (I’m so sorry)

The Duck Knight Returns!: *spoilers* The single best superhero, origin story-based episode ever! 

Whatever Happened To Donald Duck?!: *sobbing* He’s a good dad!

Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!: This entire episode is creepier than most indie horror games.

A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!: All the kids’ dreams are moods… except Huey’s, his dream can go jump off a microwave.

The Golden Army of Cornelius Coot!: Della is just pulling a Donald and adopting any and all kids within arms reach at this point.

Timephoon!: “I’m on it!” *gets struck by lightning* “I’ve immediately failed you!”

Glomtales!: I don’t know what’s more surprising, the fact that Louie won the bet or that they used Glomgold’s theme song takeover as the intro.

The Richest Duck in the World!: Drag them, Owlson. Drag them all…

Moonvasion! Part 1: *deep inhale* D A M M I T F R A N K!

Moonvasion! Part 2: Glomgold is my new favorite villain character.

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchuck!: Huey and Violet fight for the right to be crowned the squarest of squares.

Quack Pack!: Radical dude! *insert cheesy 90s riff here*

Double-O Duck in You Only Crash Twice!: We were all simping SO HARD this episode don’t think I forgot!!!

The Lost Harp of Mervana!: Scrooge fails a vibe check.

Louie’s Eleven!:  Is it really a heist movie if something doesn’t go completely wrong?

Astro B.O.Y.D.!: So much ANIME!!!!!!

The Rumble for Ragnarok!: Eh, the MCU did it better

The Phantom and the Sorceress!: Seeing Gladstone suffer brings me an odd amount of joy

They Put a Moonlander on Earth!: They’re lesbians, Harold!

The Trickening!: Did… did no one really tell Launchpad how Halloween works?

The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades!: If I had a nickel for every time a cartoon version of Ponce de Leon died a gruesome death on screen, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

Let’s Get Dangerous!: *spoilers* THEY ARE A SUPERHERO FAMILY!!!!

Escape from the ImpossiBin!: Scrooge and Beakley are a little too excited to traumatize their family because of their trauma.

The Split Sword of Swanstantine!: Dewey and Webby literally walk in blind, Violet spices things up, and Huey unleashes the Rage™

New Gods on the Block!: The most accurate representation of Zeus ever.

The First Adventure!: Young Donald is one heck of a mood.

The Fight for Castle McDuck!: The sibling culture episode.

How Santa Stole Christmas!: Charles Dickens would approve, probably.

Beaks in the Shell!: Huey ships Fendra and Gyro needs to stop hiding in the closet.

The Lost Cargo of Kit Cloudkicker!: The Battle of Theatre Kids... in the Sky!

The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck!: All the emotional weight was nearly overshadowed by One (1) attractive goth twink.

The Last Adventure Part 1; A Tale of Three Webbys!: They’re so cute! I love them!

The Last Adventure Part 2; The Lost Library of Isabella Finch!: Letting the kids on the plane is the single smartest decision Scrooge has ever made in his life.

The Last Adventure Part 3; Tale’s End!: *ugly, happy, heartbreaking sobbing* Woo-oo!

#ducktales 2017 #ducktales season 1 #ducktales season 2 #ducktales season 3 #dt 17 #ducktales spoilers #dt 17 spoilers #frank angones #don't repost #smilesthroughfandoms

[sunkaashi]

solo carol  — oikawa toru x reader

genre: angst with a fluff twist.

warnings: none.

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: sometimes, the holidays can bring out the best and the worst feelings in ourselves. being away from home during this time of year just makes it specially harder. oikawa toru always knew exactly what he wanted in life, but he never thought achieving his dreams would cost him so much.

tris' note: this was inspired by the song “only the brave” by louis tomlinson, but i'd say I added a lil of a twist to it. if you want, you can listen to it to help you get into the narrative. reblogs are always deeply appreciated and help me tons! ♡

a special thanks to @tetsunation for reading the first draft to this, and to @hcn421​ for helping me with my block ♡

© sunkaashi — 2020.  all rights reserved. do not repost, plagiarise it, translate it nor reproduce this post as your own.

Shades of red and yellow illuminated the street cobblestones, the gleaming Christmas lights guiding his way to a yet unknown destination. As he walked down the avenue, Oikawa let his eyes wander all over his surroundings, his gaze running almost as fast as his mind did. Despite that, Toru paced slowly along the sidewalk, soaking in the scenery before him. It really was a beautiful view.

But it wasn’t about the garlands wrapped around the streetlights, nor the shiny golden ornaments that delicately hanged from them. Even the decorated trees didn’t quite catch his attention that night. It was something else that fought for his heart instead. Something that he hadn’t had a taste of for a while now.

And tonight, his undying desire felt like being parched while standing in front of the sea.

Cheerful laughs echoed through the air as little children sprinted past him, unaware of the man’s presence. Yet, he didn’t mind, his sheepish giggle joining theirs. Downtown street bars buzzed with loud chatter, smiles painted on unfamiliar faces as a natural halo appeared to involve every single one of them. The warmth Oikawa felt rushing through his core had nothing to do with the sultry weather, rather, it emanated from that sight before his eyes.

Still, he seemed to lack a light of his own, and basking in other people’s glow, as joyful as it may be, comes with a price. Toru was left alone, only his shadow accompanying him through the night.

Staring at his silhouette reflecting onto the ground, the man moved his hand out of the pocket and to his nape, carefully watching his own contour mirroring him in every move. And even with every step taken that assured him a bond between himself and the dark figure, he still felt like something was out of place.

Oikawa could feel his slouched shoulders pushing him down. For a man who always stood with his head held high, there was only so much he could take. As he dragged his feet through the curb, he asked himself when it all changed so fast.

A quiver took over his body as if he refused to admit to that idea. He had it all, didn’t he? He sneered, lightly shaking his head. If he acted tough enough, maybe his thoughts would catch up to his actions, right? At least that’s what he wanted to believe.

Cracking his neck, he looked up to the clear summer sky, determined to push those thoughts away as if doing so would make it all magically fall back into place. As his eyes met the silver shimmer from the stars, which were shining a little brighter than they usually did, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the beauty of it. Most of all, he was struck by what it reminded him of. He thought back to Miyagi. To Japan. To home.

“Oji-san!” His nephew came running down in his direction, almost knocking him over with all the strength in his little body. “You’ll never believe what Santa got me for Christmas! Guess it, guess it!”

“Wow, calm down, kiddo!” Toru laughed as he held the 6-year-old into his arms. “Hm, let me think…” He said looking up to the ceiling and softly clasping his chin. “Legos?”

“Better than that!” The little guy answered while squinting in joy, eyes twinkling in a way his uncle had never seen before.

“Hm, a bike?” He asked calmly, messing with the kid, knowing that was the present he’d gotten last Christmas. The teenager tried to hold back a giggle, but mocking his nephew was just too much fun. 

“No, oji-san! It’s the coolest gift ever! Try again!”

“Is it a rocketship?” Toru said, widening his stare like even himself would be excited if that was the case. But the child sighed, rolling his eyes. Hiding a smirk, the older boy decided to stop playing around, finally giving in to the youngster’s wishes. “I give up! I have no idea! What is it!?"

“A volleyball! Just like yours!”

Oikawa smiled at the reminiscences lingering in the air, the memories immersing his senses back to the time and place he never wanted to leave. Closing his eyes, he could still feel the ghost of his nephew’s embrace, a tight and cozy grasp around his neck, saying more than words ever could. But his daydream didn’t last long enough to suppress the void hoovering his heart. As soon as he opened his lids, he was taken back to reality.

And then, just when he thought there was nothing else that could haunt him that night, a sore sight caught his attention, putting out the last flicker of flame that rested in his almond eyes.

It was just a glimpse, just some little specks of sand running down the hourglass of his life. Those few seconds usually would barely mean anything in the long run, but tonight that was enough to wash away his beam. Slightly furrowing his brows into a hurtful look, he tried to fight back the tears threatening to fall down his face.

An innocent couple running across the street, hands intertwined in a knot while brief chuckles scaped now and then, an exchange of accomplice looks giving out their most clandestine thoughts. It was at that moment, when unforgiving loneliness meets undeniable happiness, that Toru fell apart.

Slowly, he made his way to the building next to him, leaning his back onto the brick walls of the construction. He stood there, swallowing down the feelings that begged him to be screamed out.

He always knew he’d have to make sacrifices for his dreams. But all out of all the things he missed, there was only one that he would never forgive himself for letting go. And as he watched love surrounding him from every corner, it was impossible not to think of it. Not to think of you.

Raindrops cascaded down the windows of the apartment as the man dove himself further under the covers. Shrinking his body between the sheets, Oikawa felt a too familiar touch enveloping his torso, comforting him with a warmth that even sunlight could not compete with.

“Couldn’t you just stay like this all day?” Toru groaned as his fingers found their way to your locks, gently caressing your hair. 

“Mhm?” You hummed in response, too disoriented by your lack of sleep to even process what he was saying. Leisurely, you opened one of your eyes to peek at your boyfriend, lips instantly curling up into a smirk. 

“Nothing, love” He chortled. Oikawa didn't need to ask you again, he’d found his answer in the way you looked at him.

"Someone woke up in a good mood." You said, trying to tease the boy. "Santa must've gotten you a very special gift." 

"I'm looking at it right now." 

Brushing against your skin, his other hand played with the buttons of your shirt, the one you were too tired to take off the night before.

“I’m going to miss this. Miss you.” 

“I’m not going anywhere. Not now, at least”

“But soon you will” You paused, a heavy silence filling the room. “Toru…" Before you could finish your sentence, he delicately pushed you away, placing one of his hands onto your chin, obliging you to look into his eyes. 

"Please… Let’s not think about that now.” Pulling you closer to his body, he held you tighter and tighter by the minute, afraid that if he ever let go, you’d slip away.

And you did.  

Looking back at it, he regretted everything. All the words left unsaid, all the things he should've done so that he’d have you in his arms right now. But you couldn't leave it all behind just to follow him to the other side of the world. Even if you wanted to, he would've never had the heart to ask you such a thing. 

So you both decided to break it off.

Yet, it had been two years and there wasn’t a single day when you didn’t cross his mind. And right now, when the pounding sound of bells resonated throughout the air, bringing him back to earth, Oikawa believed it must’ve been some kind of sign that you were the person he was thinking about. It was only then that Toru realized he was standing at a church. 

Step by step, he moved away from the wall, drawn by the chimes warning him that it was already midnight. Christmas time. Walking towards the olden gates of the holy ground, he contemplated the image in front of him, being hit by one final blow.

Families gathered all around the church, the words "Merry Christmas" being repeated over and over again as everyone exchanged smiles and caring hugs. Even if he wasn't necessarily a religious person himself, let alone christian, Toru still felt inspired by the passion radiating from them.

As the mass finally started, the loud buzzing of the crowd quieting down, he closed his eyes, his mind transporting him to the place he wanted to be.

So he decided to pray. Pray for his loved ones. Pray for you.

He asked for your health, for your well-being, for your happiness and, as much as it hurt him, for you to find love too. The loneliness he felt was something he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemies, and you just happened to be one of his favorite people in the world.

Oikawa didn't even know whom he was praying to. Even so, his wishes were so pure that someone must've heard him because it was in the moment he said his last prayers that his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. A call coming in.

When he saw the name that popped on the screen, Toru thought his eyes were probably deceiving him. That's just what his heart wanted to see.

But as soon as he picked up the phone, your unmistakable voice woke him in a rush. 

Maybe there was something magical about the holidays after all.

#oikawa angst #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #hq oikawa #oikawa toru #toru oikawa x you #toru oikawa x reader #oikawa toru angst #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu angst #seijoh angst #toru oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x y/n #constellations ✨

[221bsunsettowers]

Buck/Eddie AU: Good News on My TV Screen

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Buck/Eddie

AU: Buck is a news reporter, Eddie is a firefighter, and they meet at the scene of an accident. 

CW: mentions of a gun and a gunshot, multiple car accidents, Buck’s parents being terrible parents

That night, after Christopher was in bed, Eddie grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV. He found himself checking his watch, then flipping through channels until he found the call sign matching the one he had seen on the side of the camera that morning.

And there he was, the reporter from the accident. He was standing by the side of the road, a broken off bumper, shattered glass, punctured tires all littering the scene behind him, but not a single injured person or smashed car. "Our thoughts tonight are with all those affected by this tragedy, and with the brave first responders who help without hesitation," the man was saying. "I'm Evan Buckley, with Skywitness News 8. Back to you, Taylor."

Evan Buckley. Now Eddie had a name to match the face. And confirmation that the face was just as attractive as he remembered.

Can also be found on a03 here

The car crash was absolutely horrendous, which of course meant all the news crews were out, cameras pointed directly in close up on the most heartbreaking, bloody scenes they could find.

And there were plenty to find.

"Assholes," Eddie muttered under his breath, as he and Hen worked to free a sobbing woman who had been pinned between the greviously injured driver and the passenger side door when one of the cars had spun out of control and smashed right into them. The woman finally extricated, they carefully moved her onto a stretcher, two paramedics quickly rushing her into an ambulance. The situation was finally as under control as it was going to be, when from the corner of his eye Eddie saw a camera swing right towards them.

"Hey, no, not cool," someone suddenly said, and Eddie looked up to see a reporter step in front of the camera with his arms out to his sides, effectively blocking the camera's view of the injured woman.

"The network-" the cameraman began, but the reporter shook his head, standing his ground.

"The network brought me here for a reason, and it wasn't to profit off anyone else's pain," Eddie heard the reporter say firmly, and the cameraman walked off with a grumble, camera pointed at the ground.

And then the reporter turned to them, and all Eddie could think was oh god, eyes, hair, birthmark, arms, muscles, and he would have missed entirely what was being said to them if it wasn't for Hen sharply nudging him with her elbow.

"I'm really sorry about that," the reporter said. "I know how busy you are, but I wanted to make sure I said that. Thank you for all you do."

And as he hurried away towards where his cameraman was now, Eddie tried very hard not to let his gaze follow, but Hen's snort of laughter clearly indicated he had failed miserably.

"Don't make me report you to HR," she teased, smirking at Eddie, who managed to take his eyes off the reporter long enough to roll them epically at Hen.

That night, after Christopher was in bed, Eddie grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV. He found himself checking his watch, then flipping through channels until he found the call sign matching the one he had seen on the side of the camera that morning.

And there he was, the reporter from the accident. He was standing by the side of the road, a broken off bumper, shattered glass, punctured tires all littering the scene behind him, but not a single injured person or smashed car. "Our thoughts tonight are with all those affected by this tragedy, and with the brave first responders who help without hesitation," the man was saying. "I'm Evan Buckley, with Skywitness News 8. Back to you, Taylor."

Evan Buckley. Now Eddie had a name to match the face. And confirmation that the face was just as attractive as he remembered.

Eddie hurried into the gym at Christopher's school, still in his uniform. Glancing quickly around, he spotted Christopher in front of a table, his science fair project displayed right behind him. "Daddy!" Christopher exclaimed in delight, as Eddie scooped him into his arms for a tight hug. "You made it!"

"I promised you I would," Eddie answered with a smile, running his fingers through Christopher's curls as he set him back down.

"So this is your dad," a warm voice sounded from nearby, and Eddie turned to come face to face with Evan Buckley himself. "Oh, hi!" The reporter ran his free hand over his hair, smoothing down his own curls, balancing a microphone in the other hand. "I hope it's okay, I was talking to Christopher here about his science project. I want to start a segment highlighting great things schools are doing in the area. Of course, I'd get you to sign off first before I used any footage, I promise."

"Dad, Buck is so cool!" Christopher exclaimed, tugging on his dad's hand. "He knows all about volcanoes! He was telling me the biggest volcano ever is on Mars!"

"That is very cool," Eddie chuckled, reaching a hand out. "I'm Eddie Diaz, and you've already met Christopher. Heads up, you're his new favorite person now."

"Evan Buckley, but my friends call me Buck," Buck said, shaking Eddie's hand, "and I don't know about that."  Buck's cheeks were now tinted red, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "He was talking about you and how much you helped him with his project."

"Chris always says I can't cook, but at least I can mix baking soda and vinegar," Eddie chuckled, and Christopher grinned, leaning closer to Buck.

"He burns everything, and he's a firefighter!" Christopher whispered with a mischevious smile, and Buck burst out laughing, Eddie's cheeks now quickly turning red. A classmate approaching caught Christopher's attention, and he quickly turned, eagerly picking up the vinegar bottle for a demonstration.

"I love kids, and you have got one great kid," Buck said, giving Eddie a wide smile, before suddenly clapping his hands together in excitement. "Oh, hey, we have a program at the station, kids can come in and do the weather report, do you think Christopher would be interested in that?"

"He would love that, that would be amazing," Eddie said, grinning as Christopher, who had been listening, came barrelling over and threw his arms around Buck's legs in a tight hug.

"Thanks Bucky!" Christopher exclaimed. Buck knelt down as Christopher immediately moved to throw his arms around Buck's shoulders, Buck hugging back tightly with a look Eddie would swear was a combination of disbelief and wonder. He needs more hugs Eddie couldn't help but think, his blush darkening at the unexpected idea.

"Here, let me give you my phone number," Buck said as Christopher noticed his project was attracting visitors and hurried back. "So we can schedule getting Superman here on to do the weather," he added quickly, flushing as he reached out his hand.

"No, right, of course," Eddie nodded, passing his phone to Buck, who quickly typed his number in. Eddie immediately sent a text to the number

Hi, it's Eddie.

and immediately followed that by mentally slapped his forehead in exasperation that that was the best he could come up with.

"Got it saved," Buck promised, flashing Eddie a grin as Eddie's phone dinged, revealing the message

Hi, it's Buck. ;)

Buck texted Eddie first, to suggest some possible dates and times that wouldn't interfere with Chris' school schedule.

Eddie texted back to confirm.

After, Eddie sat on the couch, staring down at his phone, fingers hovering, but before he could psych himself up to text something else, anything else, Buck had texted the title of a book about volcanos he thought Chris might like.

Chris immediately begged to go to the library, and when they got back to the house, Eddie texted Buck a photo of a stack of ten books about volcanos, Mars, and the weather with the message

He now wants to be a weatherman astronaut volcano scientist.

What, not a news reporter? My heart is breaking. :(  ;)

Eddie snorted, before quickly typing back

Just give him time. He's already decided you're the coolest person he's ever met.

Do you think I'm the coolest person you've ever met too? Just need to know if I need to work harder to win over both Diaz boys.

Eddie paused, taking a deep breath before responding

Maybe I just need some more time too. And you can only be second coolest. Christopher is always first place.

Seems fair to me. And I like the idea of more time.

When Christopher and Eddie arrived at the TV station, Buck was waiting for them right at the entrance, grinning as they approached, already crouching down to meet Christopher for a hug. When Buck stood up again, now with Christopher on his back for a piggyback ride, he reached a hand out to Eddie, who grasped it tightly, pulling Buck in for a one-armed hug. Eddie would swear he felt Buck melt into the hug, but just as quickly Buck was pulling back, hurrying towards the stairs with a giggling Christopher on his back.

"Let's go, old man!" Buck called back over his shoulder, and Eddie rolled his eyes, shaking his head with a smile as he hustled after them.

"Buck, I'm barely older than you!" Eddie called out at Buck's back, and as Buck reached a landing, he turned his head just enough to meet Eddie's gaze.

"Semantics, Eds," Buck called back with a wink.

After Christopher had completed his weather report-and charmed every person Buck introduced him to-Eddie swept him up into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "I'm so proud of you," Eddie declared with a grin, unable to stop smiling at how happy Christopher clearly was. "I think this calls for ice cream!"

"Yay!" Christopher exclaimed, before turning to Buck. "You're coming too, right Bucky?" Buck opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking so uncertainly at Eddie that Eddie couldn't wait another second before responding.

"Of course Buck is coming," Eddie answered, bumping his shoulder lightly againt Buck's and Buck grinned, staying close to Eddie's side as they headed towards the stairs.

"Did you grow up here?" Buck asked Eddie as they stood by Christopher, who was taste testing every ice cream flavor to make sure he picked the right combination.

"No, Texas," Eddie answered, running a hand over Christopher's curls. "I was in the Army, and-" He broke off, looking at his son to make sure Christopher was adequately distracted before continuing. "Christopher's mother and I didn't work out, she left, and my parents thought they should raise him instead of me, so he and I came out here for a fresh start." Eddie laughed self-consciously, running his fingers through his hair. "That's the short version."

"Well, if you ever want to tell the long version, I'm available," Buck said with a gentle smile, nudging Eddie's shoulder with his own. "And Eds, you are an amazing father." Before Eddie could even form a word, Buck reached out, lightly poking Eddie in the chest. "Don't try to pretend you don't have dad guilt, you were practically shouting it in between your words just a second ago. So listen to me. You are an amazing dad. I wish mine had been even a tenth as good as you are."

"Thanks, Buck," Eddie blushed, dipping his head down. Buck lay two fingers under Eddie's chin and lifted gently, until Eddie was staring into his eyes.

"It's the truth," Buck promised, and Eddie felt himself leaning into Buck's touch, keeping their gazes locked.

"Dad, I'm all done!" Christopher suddenly called, and the men jolted apart in surprise, Eddie turning quickly to meet Christopher's highly pleased grin as he held up his bowl with three scoops of ice cream.

"I see how it is, taking advantage when I'm distracted," Eddie laughed, before turning back to Buck. "Go ahead and order, Buck. This one's on me."

"Buying my affection with ice cream always works," Buck teased, as he excitedly pointed at the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

"Somehow I figured that might be the case," Eddie bantered back, "but just in case, Christopher always guarantees a win."

"Little man is the world's best wingman, huh?" Buck grinned, grabbing a plastic spoon and stepping to the side to let Eddie in to order.

"I don't know, is it working?" Eddie shot back with a grin, chuckling as Buck sputtered his first bite of ice cream onto his sleeve, quickly reaching for a nearby stack of paper napkins. After picking out his ice cream and paying, Eddie headed over to the booth Buck and Christopher were currently occupying.

"Dad, did you know Buck's seen an actual volcano?" Christopher exclaimed excitedly, ice cream already all over his cheeks.

"He's been to Mars?" Eddie asked teasingly, and Chris laughed loudly as he shook his head.

"I traveled a lot before I got here, working for different news stations," Buck explained. "I lived in Peru for a while, which is where I saw the volcanos."

"And now you're here!" Christopher cheered, both Buck and Eddie grinning back at him.

"And now I'm here," Buck responded. "My sister Maddie actually lives here, so when Skywitness News 8 called, it seemed like the perfect opportunity."

"I think you made the right call," Eddie said with a soft smile, and Buck matched his smile with one of his own.

"I think so too."

"He's so cute!" Hen exclaimed as Eddie showed her and Chimney pictures of Christopher's morning at the news station.

"Which one?" Chimney teased, as Eddie swiped to the next photo. This one was of Buck and Christopher, giant scoops of ice cream in front of them, both of them laughing. Blushing, Eddie quickly exited out of his photos, laying his phone face down next to him.

"Isn't that that new reporter?" Hen asked, teasingly poking Eddie's reddened cheek. "Evan Buckley?"

"Buck," Eddie mumbled, not meeting her eyes. "He likes to be called Buck."

"I bet he does," Chimney snickered, earning himself an elbow to the side from Eddie. "Oof! I'm just saying, that looks like you invited him on a family date. A very happy one."

"Buck's the one who set up Christopher doing the weather report," Eddie insisted, cheeks now redder. "Christopher wanted to thank him, so he came to get ice cream with us."

"I'm sure Christopher was the only one who wanted Buck there," Hen teased, and Eddie groaned, burying his face in his hands. Any hope Eddie had of them moving on to something, anything, else ended the second his phone sounded out "Breaking news!". Hen stared him down, eyebrows raised, until Eddie threw up his hands in defeat.

"Buck thought it was funny to set that for his ring and text tone," Eddie admitted, quickly snatching his phone up and moving towards the kitchen. Watching him read the text, eyes alight, face stretched into a broad smile as he typed back, Chimney and Hen chuckled fondly.

Hey, so I just finished a story near your fire station, and I remember you said you had a long shift. Want me to drop by with some coffee?

Yes please. We've already rescued two cats from trees and one person trying to rescue their cat who got stuck in the tree too. Add in a kitchen fire and a terrible attempt at homemade fireworks and I am desperate for caffeine.

Are you using me for my coffee grabbing skills, Eddie? I'm more than just a beautiful pair of hands you know.

True, you're also a pain in the ass. ;)

See if I bring you your double expresso with one cream and caramel syrup now that you've so gravely insulted me.

I have a thank you card Christopher made you in my locker.

Well, in that case, I'll be there as soon as I can.

"Somebody has a crush," Chimney whistled, chuckling as he stretched back out on the couch, kicking his feet up on the table, Hen laughing as she grabbed the video game controller.

"Shut up, Chim," Eddie shot back, but he knew there wasn't any real heat behind it. He was too busy running his fingers through his hair and smoothing out his uniform to pay attention to the snickers of his friends.

The minute he heard Buck's voice calling out "Eddie?" from the entrance to the fire station Eddie was hurrying down the stairs to meet him.

"Hey Buck," Eddie said with a grin, immediately pulling Buck in for a hug. Eddie was immensely pleased to notice Buck had already put the coffee carrier down in anticipation, and hugged Eddie back as tightly as Eddie was hugging him. Now carefully balancing the coffee carrier in one hand, Eddie slung his free arm around Buck's shoulders, tugging him towards the stairs. "Come meet everyone, but be warned, they think they're hilarious."

"We are hilarious!" Chimney protested, sticking his hand out to shake Buck's. "Welcome to the 118. I'm Chimney."

"Thanks," Buck smiled, shaking Chim's hand before leaning into Eddie's side, pointing to the coffees. "I wasn't sure what everyone else here drank, so I got a bunch of black coffees and some creamers and sugar packets."

"You are absolutely my new hero," Hen promised gleefully, snatching one of the coffees and cradling it between her hands. "Thank you for this. I'm Hen." Buck shook Hen's hand just as Eddie slapped Chimney's hand away from the nearest coffee.

"That one's mine," Eddie asserted, quickly grabbing the large cup with old man scrawled across the side. Rolling his eyes at Buck, Eddie let out a loud laugh, shaking his head.

"Semantics, Eds," Buck teased, grabbing the coffee that had been next to Eddie's. As Eddie met Buck's eyes, he could swear something was off. Buck's eyes were dimmer, his smile smaller, and Eddie immediately grabbed his hand, gently tugging him towards the locker room.

"Hey, let's go get that card Christopher made you," Eddie said, feeling Buck tighten his fingers around Eddie's. Neither man spoke until they reached the locker room, Eddie sitting down on a bench and pulling Buck down with him. "What's going on, Buck? Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry," Buck mumbled, staring down at the floor. "I know you're busy, I shouldn't have-I just..."

"Hey, Buck, you don't need to apologize," Eddie assured him, squeezing his head reassuringly, dipping his head to meet Buck's gaze. "Whatever's going on, I'm here."

"I called my parents," Buck choked out, tears filling his eyes. "I thought they might actually have been proud of me for once for getting this great job, but all they had to say was that they were waiting for me to come to my senses and move back to Hershey to work for the family business, not that I would be much good there but at least I could do some desk work."

"Buck..." Eddie breathed out, and wrapped his arms around the trembling man next to him, guiding Buck into a tight hug. Buck buried his face in Eddie's neck, clutching at Eddie's shirt, and Eddie pulled him in as closely as possible, rubbing his hands in comforting circles up and down Buck's back. "Listen to me. Your parents are idiots." Buck chuckled wetly. "You are amazing, and its their loss if they choose not to experience that. And you are never allowed to move back to Hershey, by the way. I think Chris would insist we pack right up and move with you."

"Chris would, huh?" Buck whispered into Eddie's skin. Eddie moved his head just enough to press a soft kiss to the top of Buck's head, feeling Buck lean into the touch.

"More than just Chris," Eddie admitted, resting his chin in Buck's curls. "Why don't you come over tonight? Chris and I are going to order pizza, watch a movie. It's his pick so I'm sure it will be something animated with talking animals." Buck chuckled, pulling back just enough to run his hands over his face.

"There's nothing I'd rather do," Buck said earnestly, wiping the remenants of tears from under his eyes. "But the studio has me covering some event tonight, and I'm not sure how late I'll be."

"The invitation's good for any time, okay?" Eddie reached his hand out, lightly whisking away the last of the tears, leaving his fingers there to cup Buck's cheek. "This isn't a one-time only offer."

"I'm really glad to hear that," Buck answered softly, a shy smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "I'm not a one-time only kind of guy." Before Eddie could respond, the alarm sounded, ringing loudly through the station.

"Shit," Eddie cursed, rising from the bench. "I'm so sorry Buck, I have to go." Reaching quickly into his locker, he pulled out the hand drawn card and handed it to Buck. "Christopher drawings always help anyone feel better."

"Go save the day," Buck assured him, leaning in to lightly kiss his cheek before taking the card and holding it carefully against his chest. "I have to head out in a minute anyway, the event starts really soon. Thank Chris for the card for me, and text me to let me know you get back safe."

"I will," Eddie promised, before turning and sprinting up the stairs.

The 118 pulled up to absolute chaos. Clearly people had been setting up some sort of outdoor film screening, because reels and projectors were scattered everywhere, mixed with shattered glass and the smell of burning rubber. A car had somehow plowed its way through the sawhorses and into one of the white tents. There were people on the ground with bumps and bruises, and some were bleeding badly enough to need immediate medical attention.

Eddie joined with the others in making their way through the crowd, performing quick assessments, bandaging and triaging, transferring people to the incoming ambulances. The situation seemed to be under control, a fact Eddie was especially grateful for as he saw the Skywitness News 8 van pull up nearby, and Buck alight.

And then everything went to hell in seconds. The driver of the car that had plowed through the festival, the one the police were currently questioning as they brought out a breathalyzer, suddenly took off running back to his car. Immediately recognizing there was no possibility his vehicle was drivable, he reached under the driver's seat and pulled out a gun, drunkenly gesturing with it towards the cop cars.

Then the man stumbled, and the gun swung with his body, a loud shot sounding as the weapon swept by the news van. All Eddie could see was Buck dropping to the ground, and he took off running, heart pounding as he sprinted towards where he had seen Buck fall. He didn't even register Athena tackling the man to the ground as he ran past, didn't even realize tears were flooding his eyes as he finally made it to Buck.

Buck, who was already sitting up, settling onto his knees as he looked around in shock. Eddie slid down next to him, frantically running his hands up and down Buck's head, neck, torso, limbs, over and over until Buck grabbed his fingers in his own, holding them close to his chest.

"Eddie, I'm okay, I promise," Buck breathed out, "I hit the deck as soon as I saw the gun come swinging around. Are you okay? Did you-"

Eddie didn't mean to interrupt Buck, he really didn't, but he couldn't help himself. Cradling Buck's head between his hands, he pulled him in for a deep kiss, Eddie sighing in relief as he slipped his tongue between Buck's lips, registering every miniscule movement as a promise that Buck was alive and well and here in his arms. Buck pressed their bodies together, chest to chest, deepening the kiss, lightly nipping at Eddie's bottom lip.

"Amazing," Buck panted as they pulled back for air, all red swollen lips and mussed hair, Eddie pressing a kiss into the divot behind Buck's ear. "God, Eddie, you-that-amazing. Amazing."

"Are you always this eloquent?" Eddie teased, pulling a shiver from Buck as he lightly scratched his teeth over the lobe of Buck's ear. "Being a reporter and all, I mean."

"Shut up," Buck chuckled fondly, before launching himself at Eddie again, Eddie's tight embrace holding them up as Buck pressed their lips together again.

"Now this guy wants a burger and fries?" Hen groaned, leaning back against the fire truck as a wannabe robber paced back and forth across the house's roof. "It's such a short jump to the ground, he could just hop off."

"It's not like he's going to get away," Chimney sighed, tipping his head back. "There are cops everywhere. He's given them plenty of time to get here and swarm the entire neighborhood."

"I come bearing gifts," a familar voice sounded out from behind the truck, as Buck strolled into view, holding a coffee carrier and a bag of pastries.

"Hey, baby," Eddie said gleefully, his face lighting up as he moved quickly towards Buck, leaning in for a kiss. Buck grinned, dropping the pastry bag onto the ground to wrap his arm around Eddie's waist and pull him closer.

"Can you two not make out over our poor coffee?" Chim complained teasingly, taking the carrier from Buck as Hen grabbed the paper bag of pastries from the ground. "Didn't you just see each other this morning?"

"My shift started a whole hour before Buck was due at the news station," Eddie answered mournfully, ignoring Chim's scoffing as Buck twined his now-free hands around Eddie's neck to pull him into another kiss.

"I should have had them write something mean on your vanilla latte, Chim," Buck bantered back, leaning back into Eddie's chest as he shot a teasing glare Chim's way.

"Thanks for the coffee and food Buck!" Hen said pointedly, and Chim laughed, patting Buck's shoulder as he passed.

"Really, thanks Buck," Chim said sincerely, before a smirk slid across his face. "And thanks for turning Eddie into a lovestruck puppy every time a news van pulls up. He sees that Skywitness News 8 logo and he's actually  pleasant to be around."

Eddie shook his head at Chimney, rolling his eyes good-naturedly before turning his gaze back to Buck. "You're coming over after work, right? Chris wants to start on his new Lego castle with you."

"Wouldn't miss it," Buck assured him with a grin, and Eddie tugged him against his chest, arms wrapped around Buck from behind as they stared together at the roof. "Though at the rate this is going, Chris might have graduated from college before we make it home. Ooo, wait, he got delivery? I better grab my cameraman, finally some sort of development!"

"And I better help get the life net set up for when he inevitably falls," Eddie sighed. Buck turned in Eddie's arms and grabbed him by the belt, reeling him in for another kiss before stepping towards the truck.

"See you soon, sweetheart," Buck called back, winking as he blew Eddie a kiss before hurrying to the news van.

"Lovestruck puppy," Chim called out as he passed, but Eddie was too busy smiling to even notice.

Thanks so much for reading! Let me know if you would like to be on my Buddie taglist :) My apologies if I tagged anyone who did not wish to be tagged, or missed tagging anyone who did want to be tagged.

@perfectlynervousbeard @mrarcadeheart @i-had-bucky @buddie-buddie @blankets-for-bees @i-had-a-marvelous-time @kit-aislinn @a-single-cloudy-day @yes-dillman-yes @martymcflarry @prfoundbond @the-rising-daemon @justsmilestuffhappens 

#buddie #buck/eddie #buck x eddie #evan buck buckely #buck #eddie #eddie diaz #9-1-1 fanfiction #9-1-1 #9-1-1- au #au #alternate first meeting #alternate universe #buck is a news reporter #christopher diaz #christopher diaz is a national treasure #strangers to lovers #smitten eddie diaz #smitten buck #buddie fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #buck needs hugs #buck gets hugs #otp: you two have an adorable son #otp: you can have my back any day

[saynotoshityouhate]

Chaos

Summary: Everyone was convinced you’d never meet your match. That was, until you got the literal kick to the head of a lifetime. 

Word Count: 1726

Tags/Warnings: alcohol, possible concussion, slight illegal behavior, just a little smutty

I’m feeling chaotic, let’s go dancing. Who’s in?

Your friends were used to you starting craziness as soon as you clocked out on Friday afternoon. You were sure they all got your text and rolled their eyes, but they were stuck with you at this point. 

You got all ready - glam but also comfortable - you never knew where the night was going to go. Last time you went out, you ended up dancing until 2am, and then watching the sunrise from the rooftop of an abandoned warehouse. You weren’t sure how many of these weekends you had left - your friends had started settling down and were less enthusiastic about joining you in your shenanigans. They all had tried (and failed) to set you up with their boyfriend’s friends - unable to find someone who could match your energy. But at the same time, you loved your life. You could do anything you wanted, whenever you wanted. You were financially stable, had a good job, a nice apartment...you weren’t really looking for anyone or anything to come in and change things. 

You met the girls at the club, wearing the dress that made you feel most confident, paired with your worn in Converse high tops. “HEY BITCHES!” You gave each friend big sloppy kisses on both cheeks. They handed you a drink - you were last to arrive, as usual. “Y/N, I was just telling the girls about the engagement party my future mother-in-law is planning. You wouldn’t believe how tacky it is going to be! The invitations alone…” You cut her off after pounding your drink, and pointed to the dance floor. “I’m gonna go there now. Bye!” Setting your empty glass on the nearest table, you ran over to the middle of the dance floor. 

You loved the feeling of the stereo bass pumping in your chest. The ringing in your ears blocking out your inhibitions as you moved your body without care, your skin lit up in colors and sparkles. Here, in this moment, you were truly happy. Not a care in the world. No thoughts in your head saying you were unworthy of the love your friends had found. Complete and full contentment at the life you had chosen for yourself. And it was then that you received a swift kick to the side of your head. 

A few seconds later, you opened your eyes to see the hazel eyes of a wild haired, sweaty man. “Fuuucking hell, kid! I thought for sure you were dead. Are you alright?” You blinked up at him and nodded, unsure how you got to be flat on your back in the first place. “I’m so sorry, I was carrying my best lesbian friend on my shoulders, and when we spun around, her fucking foot hit you in the head.” He wipes his hand down his shirt before handing it to you, helping you up off the floor. The man was tall, dressed in a hilarious mismatch of clothes, with a mop of brown hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead, partially covering his eyes. He sported a patchy moustache/goatee combo which brought your attention to his plush, pink lips. 

He leaned down to look you directly in your eyes, examining them closely. “I don’t think you have a concussion...are you sure you’re alright?” You took a deep breath. “Yes. Totally. Super duper alright. All good.” He chuckled a deep laugh, showing off his imperfectly perfect teeth. “Awesome. I’m Adam - we’re going to go find shit to throw off the overpass. Wanna come?” You nodded enthusiastically, never having been this lost for words in your life. He grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the bar, barely giving you the chance to smile or wave at your friends as you exited. 

Adam and his friends brought you all across the city. Finding items to keep or to toss, literally, off of the highway overpass. Your group steadily dwindled as you explored the city’s hidden pockets, eventually leaving you, Adam, and a reusable grocery bag full of spare car parts and rotten vegetables alone on the pedestrian bridge that crossed the city’s busiest highway. Standing together, you looked upon the city skyline, standing proudly against a dark sky that was littered with stars. It was your favorite view. Feeling Adam’s gaze on you, you turned to look up at him. “Everything okay?” you asked, unsure why he was making such a face. “Yeah, kid, just making sure you’re not gonna have a seizure or somethin’ dumb.” He chewed the inside of his cheek as he resumed looking at the city. 

With the early morning hour, there wasn’t a ton of good targets to toss your garbage at. “Wanna split a pizza?” You asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Adam smiled and nodded, giving you the chance get him back for earlier, to grab his hand and run. You took the long way, zig zagging through dark alleys, running up and down stairs, eventually landing at your favorite, hole in the wall 24-hour pizza parlor. “Jimmy!!!!” You squealed are the shop owner, waving at him and jumping up and down. The proprietor groaned, pushing himself out of his chair and walked up to the window. “What can I getcha, y/n...and friend?” Adam smiled at Jimmy, and then you, and then Jimmy again. Nervously laughing and still trying to catch his breath, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Anything but fucking green peppers,” you both said, almost simultaneously. Jimmy rolled his eyes and headed back to the kitchen. 

“Jimmy’s the best. He almost single handedly fed me all through my senior year of college. I was building this Trojan Horse out of Amazon boxes inside my apartment and I couldn’t access my kitchen because it was full of boxes so…” Adam grabbed your face, pulling you in for a rough kiss, his pillowy lips absorbing the blow. Your eyes were wide open, arms limp at your side. Sensing you weren’t reciprocating, Adam pulled back, hands still on your face. “I’m building a boat in my apartment right now, gonna sail down the Hudson. I’ve never met anyone like you before, like me - someone who could keep up with me and not be some fucking loser.” Adam looked deep into your eyes. “We were meant to meet tonight, Y/N. I was supposed to hit you in the head with my best lesbian friend.” Adam squeezed his large hands together, smooshing your face. “Fuck the pizza, come see my boat.” 

Jimmy walked up at that moment, pizza box in tow. “No, no fucking my pizza. Here - on the house - now get out of here. And y/n, I don’t want to find this pizza on some roof or in a tree or whatever the fuck you’re planning on doing tonight.” You turned your head towards Jimmy, with Adam’s help, and said through your smooshed face “Fanks Jummy.” Grabbing the pizza, you looked back up at Adam. Adam moved your head up and down, speaking in a high pitched voice “Yes, Adam, I’d love to see your boat!” Looking down at you with a cheesy grin, you started to laugh. “Fwine, but wet go uf my fwace.” Adam flailed his arms into the air. “Well let’s fucking go, kid!” 

Adam wasn’t kidding, he really was building a boat in his living room. It was the coolest thing you’ve ever seen. “Are these old pallets? Is that a fisherman’s knot? Did you repurpose 2x4s from…” “Whoa whoa y/n don’t get a lady boner over my awesome ass boat!” Your eyes were sparkling, climbing over piles of wood and fabric and an overused power strip. “When is she going to be ready to sail?” you asked, your voice giving away your excitement. “Why,” Adam stalked towards you, backing you up against the mast, “wanna be my sexy first mate?” Your heart was beating through your chest. This wasn’t your average one night stand, this was different - you could tell. This wasn’t the plan. But you couldn’t deny that he was your match. He was right, you were meant to meet tonight. You took a deep, shaky breath, looking into Adam’s eyes. “Aye, aye, captain.” 

Adam growled, wrapping his arms underneath your bottom and lifting you up. You wrapped your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, squealing in surprise. He slammed your body harder against the boat’s mast, shoving his tongue into your mouth and squeezing your ass as he ground his rock hard erection into your pelvis. You lifted one hand from his neck, reaching down to unbutton his jeans, the slightest graze of your fingers causing Adam’s hips to thrust. The energy of that motion cracked the fragile integrity of the mast, causing Adam to fall forwards, landing on top of you, the broken splinters of wood scratched along your back. 

You both groaned. “Fuck, kid, you ok? How’s your head?” Opening up to the same concerned, hazel gaze from earlier in the evening, you replied “Yep. Super duper.” That was good enough for Adam, who stood up quickly, ripping his jeans and underwear down, kicking his legs for assistance. You lifted your hips to shimmy your own panties down to your ankles. Adam returned to his place between your legs. Looking up at him with a grin, you laughed “ahoy, matey. shiver me timbers.” Adam grunted - “you’re so fucking weird, and so fucking wet,” he ran two fingers through your slick, “and just for me.” You whined, moving your hips to meet his hand.  “Gotta make sure you’re ready for me. Gunna drop anchor in this hot cunt.”

Adam spent the rest of the night straddled over your back, where you laid on your stomach on his bed. Using a tweezer, he removed the hundreds of tiny splinters that had embedded themselves into your skin. You sighed contentedly, taking a large sip of milk, unsure what the future held. But for the first time, in a long time, the thought of sharing that future with someone didn’t make you sick to your stomach. You turned your head to take a look at him, wearing lab safety goggles “in case one flew out at him.” Smiling, you rested your head on his pillow, before falling asleep and dreaming of sailing down the Hudson together. 

#adam sackler #adam sackler x reader #chaos #saynotoshityouhate #adam driver character universe #adam driver #adcu fic rec #adcu #adcu community

[kendrixtermina]

Appreciating the Range of Type 6, or, one stereotypical example, and three that aren’t.

I want to tell you about some type 6 ppl that I know in my personal life.

Exemplar #1: F. B.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 p or cp: largely phobic – lots of safety worries, outright authoritarian follower personality Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 613  - 6w5 1w2 3w2 (“The Taskmaster” or “The Middle Manager”) jungian: ISTJ / SLI-Te oldham: Conscientious & Aggressive Essence Type: Mars Temperament: Pure Choleric

What he’s like:

Not pleasant.

Every “strict conservative middle aged guy” stereotype in the book. Control freak, makes a mountain out of every molehill, sees the world as full of axe murderers, judgemental as fuck, horrible temper and yet completely impersonable, all his opinions are copypasted from right-wing news sites. When they say war is good he’s for war, and when they say war is bad he’ll be like “At least Trump did not start any more wars” without perceiving a contradiction. Despite this, he believes is very hot, principled and funny. He is none of these things. He puts people down nonstop. My knowledge of neurochemistry tells me that he must have emotions somewhere or he couldn’t function, but I ain’t ever seen a single one of those emotions. They’re all for his job and a few trusted mentor figures. And his mom. At least he loved her.

If you say anything he doesn’t like, he “throws the sofa out the window” as his wife once put it.

How he’s a Type 6:

Well, he’s pretty much every negative stereotype in a nutshell… other than distrusting his partner. But that might be cause hes sx blind, or cause the wife is big on monogamy & wouldn’t ever cheat.

The one positive trait of 6 that he has is that he does his research. Before moving anywhere he googles the crime rates and if you need a doctor he might find you the best one. But even that can be overriden by ideology (hydroxychloroquine!). And if you don’t take his exact advice, there goes the sofa out the window again…

And I guess the work ethic from all 3 parts of the trifix really comes through – he hasn’t had a single bad grade in his life and always keeps collecting new certifications, and will make sure you hear about it...

Exemplar #2: I.

Complete Stats

Wing: 5 P or cp: pretty much an even mix of phobic and counterphobic Instinct: sp/soc Trifix: 614 - 6w5 1w2 4w3 (Would prolly call herself “The Big Pain” rather than “The Philosopher” ^^°) jungian: INTJ / ILI-Ni oldham: Serious & Conscientious Essence Type: Saturn Temperament: Chlor-Mel

What she’s like:

I’d describe her as serious, mature, discerning, focused and passionate about her friendships, if perhaps somewhat forceful at times, with a dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

Comes across like someone who knows what she’s talking about, with well-articulated points.

Often the Responsible Sibling, Designated Sanity Checker or Bullshit Detector.

Prefers to plan everything in advance in typical Ni dom fashion, even amusement part trips. Gets somewhat anxious without a future plan or shedule.

Often mistaken for a whole lot more sociable and confident that she really feels inside. (even I kinda bought it and got her whole darn trifix wrong on my first typing attempt, though that was when I was new to typology) She can act the boss act temporarily to get the situation over with, but she actually hates making decisions.

She does however have the occasional cute/pure moment where that lower function block comes out.

How she’s a Type 6:

She has saved our family from many a terrible restaurant by making sure to check the reviews. The preparing for all possible dangers is very 6, the acting tough outwardly when youre inwardly anxious, the intellectual problem solving & some tendency towards organization/responsibility/ “logistic” intelligence.

One online test she took gave her 5w6 instead of 6w5 but that’s probably just the ITxx-ness leaking in. I remember this one time we were discussing this artsy-fartsy theater play to which we’d had fascinatingly different reactions, and at one point I half-jokingly said something like “But does anyone ever really feel connected to others, or is that a myth?” to which she wrote, “[Name], what the fuck? Yes I do.” and then immediately deleted it. That’s more of a 6 reaction innit?

Nonetheless the wing does feature in significantly – for example she got very well informed about a lot of topics because she researched them to assuage a random survival-related fear, like, “How to make sure I have enough retirement money”

Exemplar #3: M.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 p or cp: largely phobic Instinct: sp/sx Trifix: 692 - 6w7 9w1 2w1 (Fortunately very much a “Good Samaritan” rather than “The Stockholm”) jungian: ISFP / SEI-Fi oldham: Sensitive & Devoted Essence Type: Lunar-Venus Temperament: Pure Supine

What she’s like:

Precious! Sweet, nice, good listener, friendly, gives all the best gifts. But also perceptive and good at understanding people, eg. mediating to the parents when one of the younger sisters is having An Emotion™ or winning the trust of problem children.

Unlike I. Who has some soc that helps her keep track of a larger circle of friends despite her introversion, M. tends to enjoy the closeness with her family and have just a few very close friends. Excellent friend material all around! The sx and Se also come out in enjoying art forms involving the body like theatre or dance.

She can be a bit shy, conflict-avoidant and occasionally a lil bit panicky though.

As a small kid she used to be super duper shy but then a wise english teacher encouraged her to play a big role in a play, and since then she’s a lot more confident and doesn’t let ppl push her around without limit, though she’s still a quiet, helpful person. There you see the difference that a good teacher can make.

How she’s a Type 6:

For one thing she moves and emotes faster than a core 9 would, and she fits the body language – big eyes that move around a lot, stands a bit lopsided, talks in a shrill voice on the rare occasions where we exhaust her patience etc. As a xSFx and a w7 she shows mostly the “warm, friendly, likeable” side of type 6. She also has a very 6-ish tendency to very frequently ask people’s opinions & feedback before making decisions. (the other fixes probably add to this)

Alas, she also has a little bit of of the fear/insecurity.

Also she has a social/care job which might be seen as 6-ish desire to serve the community.

Exemplar #4: J.

Complete Stats

Wing: 7 P or cp: largely counterphobic Instinct: sx/soc ?? definitely not sp first. Trifix: 638 - 6w7 3w4 8w9(?) (Shall she be a “Justice Fighter” or a “Kyle”? Only time will tell.) jungian: ISTP / LSI-Se ?? Oldham: ? some Dramatic & Serious, perhaps ? Essence Type: Definitely Mercury Temperament: San-Mel

What she’s like:

The first adjective that usually comes to my mind is ‘cool’. Sassy, energetic & a little bit tough, but also affectionate when she wants to be. (though in admiring way rather than a mushy one)

She says the coolest things, has a certain sly sort of cleverness, and an astonishly good poker face. Bit of an occasional prankster. Hilarious. Knows all sort of cool science facts. Avid gamer. 

Not especially popular or over the top sociable, but she gets sad if no one pays attention to her a while. Will act visibly moody where ppl can see sad or worried and can catastrophize a bit in such situations.

How she’s a Type 6:

I first though we might be getting an ExxP type 7 since she was a pretty energetic child, but once puberty hit and independent thought manifested, she turned out a whole lot too reactive and ‘edgy’ for this, and more on the ‘moderate introvert’ side of things.

Since then the sisterly dynamic has been like one fluffy golden dog and 3 hissing black cats. Hissing Cats #1 and #2 are very proud of her, but cat #1 was forced to conclude that she’s probably not a positive outlook type.

Out of all the reactive types 6 fits best because she does broadcast group identity (like wearing merchandise of her favorite media and wearing buttons in solidarity with ppl she likes.) & has a big case of Big Sibling worship for M, I, and someone else who isn’t on this list due to being a 9. (a 4 or 8 might like their older siblings but probably wouldn’t constantly stress the admiration.), but she can also show lasting, pouty displeasure with authority figures who have slighted her. (Like that one time I went too far in teasing her...)

I’m just assuming the 8 fix because that tends to make 6s more bold, louder & more shameless.

Basically she is the “punk teen” type of 6. She can be a bit dramatic & over-the top but still come to her family on advice (even advice on pranks!) in ways that xSTPs of other enneagrams prolly wouldn’t.

She also tends to use self-deprecating humor in tough situations and deflects compliments to present herself as ‘ordinary’.

...

This may sound like I’m really getting down on my first example (I won’t pretend that I’m not) but the point in bringing him up is that the reason he’s like this is: He was subject to really bad parenting that put a lot of fear into him, there was no good parenting to teach him broader coping strategies, he lived in a crappy environment that crushed his dreams, in a sense ‘confirming’ those fears and making him double down, resulting in a person who is just always rigidly following the same predictable pattern or jumping from one automatic reaction to the next with very little pausing and thinking. That goes for the other types too: A ‘stereotypical’ person is a desperate person ruled by fear, who cant stop or soften up even for an instant cause they constantly feel this fire of threat under their arse.

A lot of descriptions say that 6s ‘Follow authority’ but most would balk at the notion – ‘I do the research!’ they might argue ‘I don’t just trust anyone’ or ‘I’m actually a rebel’. There is of course such a thing as denial  that’s more like the extreme case.

But with a more average, functional 6 it’s not so much ‘obedience’ as that they just like to bounce their ideas off of others to get feedback, or that they feature in other’s viewpoints. So you might get someone who can naturally use feedback (something other ppl may have to learn first) or who is very considerate of others (which others might have to consciously remind themselves to do.)

Those are sometimes pretty good traits actually.

On the other hand this is probably part of what makes decisions hard cause they consider all these possible scenarios of how things might displease or cause harm to everyone involved.

Being able to naturally snap into Action Mode under stress looks a bit enviable from the outside, but I. assures me that it’s actually super stressful & exhausting, even for someone who doesn’t get to a point of just being unreasonably aggro at you.

Though even an extreme case like F.B. would probably claim that he ‘did the research’ even as he’s 1:1 quoting the Pope at you, and then saying that you ‘have to be respectful’ even if you don’t even believe in Christianity. Hence why you get a lot of authoritarians talking about “disrespect”. You didn’t “fail to obey”, you “disrespected the flag” or  “hurt the feelings of the Chinese people”. Because they’re still trying or inwardly thinking that they’re doing the consideritation & considering other’s PoV thing when they’ve long since crossed from respect and consideration into mindless obedience, all while still thinking that they’re very sceptical and discerning cause after all they really distrust the other political party or whatever.  

In a way you get this obsession with ‘mind control’ cause they’re not unaware of & very much looking to guard the blind spot. They’re adults trying to do adult things.

For example, if I voiced an opinion to F. B. which he didn’t like, his reaction was often to ask “who told you that”

That’s just how he seems to think opinions work, somebody tells them to you.

Makes one wonder how he thinks new opinions start.

Yeah - Nobody told me that. I concocted it myself in some corner of my head. And in the interest of objectivity, I should stress that you can also end talking out of your ass that way, if you’re not basing it on enough outside data. Making up new shit has more of a quadratic than a linear learning curve – at least with copying you get something semi-useful right away. In making up your own you might be really off a long time before you stumble on something useful.

Also, I was young at the time and it’s not wholly unreasobale to think that an inexperienced person might be duped. I reacted really badly in part cause he hit my own ego buttons cause I was of course proud of this epiphany that I had concocted by myself, and now he says (or so I perceived it, being sensitive to accusations of incompetence) that I’m too dumb to form an opinion, so of course I launched into full Obnoxious Reddit Dude Mode.

In I. It manifests more on a reasonable useful level like “Oh wait, should [young cousin] be on TikTok? I don’t want him to get sucked into some cultish BS.” which is at least something the parents should have on the radar/ warn him about even if they do let him use TikTok, because for all that it is vital for him to get his experience with independent socializing & experimentig with sel-presentation, people do sometimes get suckered into cults or goaded into unsafe tests of courage.

And in a sense… maybe they overamphasize it but to some extent they’re also simply consciously aware/ mindful of it. The rest of us are not immune to propaganda after all, solong as it’s presented in a way pleasing to our egos. Any type structure can become a ‘hook’ if you’re not careful.

#enneagram #enneagram 6 #ennea 6 #6w5 #6w7