#It's become like a safety net when I'm having a bad day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smytherines · 1 month

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Once again thinking about how Owen was still shaking and grabbing at the banana peel when Curt ran away. Thinking about how Owen tried to point out how absurd it was to leave a banana peel lying around in the first place, and Curt steamrolled him by saying "who gives a shit?"

How Curt dismissed Owen and treated him like a nuisance for chastising him for drinking and leaving shit on the ground, and for wanting to re-lock the safety barricades to limit the explosion. How Curt didn't have the equipment he thought he would because the color of the rocket shoes didn't match his outfit.

How the explosion was Curt's idea, and he could have simply used the watch to send the blueprints and they both would've gotten out of there safely. But he wanted to be cool. He wanted to be a badass. (and personally, I think he probably wanted to save face with Owen after having to get rescued and getting chewed out by his boss)

I don't think Curt was incompetent in A1P1, but I do think he was a cocky asshole with a bruised ego. I have to be honest, I don't understand the impulse to flatten his character into "He was an awesome babygirl but then a sad thing just kinda happened to him, schwoopsie" when his ego and hubris leading to Owen's demise is the entire point of the scene. Curt having faults and fucking up is what sets that character up to have an arc at all.

In the 54 Below concert there's a part of the spoken introductions where Tessa Netting says "when these two spies are together, they are gay and unstoppable," and the next line is "that is- until Curt's ego gets in the way." In the commentary for SAF there are several points where TCB mentions Curt's ego, his hubris, his vanity- because they are important pieces of the puzzle for understanding who this guy is. Without that context, the choices his character makes in A1P1 don't make any sense (which is why I think some people read him as just kinda being a dipshit)

There's a reason he spent four years blaming himself for Owen's death- it was his fault. It's a crucial part of his character development, and it makes him a much more interesting and nuanced character than "he just did a lil fucksy-wucksy" does.

I'm not even going to get into the way the fandom absolutely refuses to engage with Curt's alcohol use, or how they make up details about Owen to make him more of a cartoon character villain (like the idea that he orchestrated the events of the show specifically to hurt/kill Curt when he doesn't even know Curt is there until Curt interrupts the arms deal) or how they pretend that Owen doesn't have a canon traumatic event that informs who he becomes (which, to be clear, is someone who tortures and murders people- thinking of Owen as an actual human character instead of a Snidely Whiplash villain doesn't mean ignoring how fucked up he is)

I probably should have said all that anonymously through the confessions blog like everyone else is doing, but frankly there are so few Owen defenders everyone would probably know it was me anyways. Also I'm just confident I know the show well enough to defend my points under my own name.

I spent days telling myself to just ignore it, don't let my autism win here, but this show is so complex and well-written, and has so much space for a subtextual reading of it, that it really bothers me to see these weird, messy, interesting, fucked up characters sanded down to Good Guy vs Bad Guy

#spies are forever #tin can bros #curtwen #owen carvour #agent curt mega #saf #tcb #genuinely dont want to cause drama but its been several days of people kinda vagueblogging around points Ive made and its getting irritating

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what-do-bunyips-look-like · 10 months

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This crab day thing has gotten so frustrating so fast. The person who suggested it is an anti-abortion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobe. Many of the people spreading additional posts and info are ALSO anti-abortion right wing christian transphobes. Seriously. Start clicking their blogs when you see these posts. Search "abortion" and "feminism" and "trans" and "gender" and "groomer." This is really easy to confirm. But people don't give a shit because "crabs fun." okay.

And its not like people aren't aware of it at this point. Search "crab day" on tumblr and a good chunk of the results are asks saying "hey btw crab day was started by a transphobe/right wing christian." and most of those people have responded with something along the lines of "Um okay but like its a good idea though??? You guys can't even collaborate with conservatives for like a second to achieve a political goal? UGH this is why nothing ever gets done 🙄." or "Um okay but like that post had nothing to do with their political beliefs. so like its fine lol. Crab fun." Or "oh no omg im so sorry thats so gross i deleted the post but im still gonna keep reblogging all the other posts by the conservative transphobic anti abortion right wing christians whos blogs i wont check because we need to save tumblr!!!!"

Let me make this really fucking clear for those who don't get it: it doesn't matter if the post is not about their political beliefs. You and all your mutuals are reblogging them. You are making it easier for them to network and find each other. You are bringing them new followers, a bigger audience, a bigger platform and a bigger pool of people who will spread their oh so relatable non-political posts. Which will bring in more followers. And some of those new followers are going to be young dumbasses who are going to see all their posts about "groomers" and "mutilation" and the evils of porn and the horrors of abortion and how feminism actually harms women and do i need to tell you how that story ends?

You are showing that "crab fun" is way more important to you than the safety of trans tumblr users. You are giving them a bigger platform and a wider net with which to potentially harm trans people. By saying that you're not going to let their political beliefs ruin your fun, you're making it very clear that trans people are less important than your fun. And you're making it VERY fucking clear that you'd RATHER tumblr become a safe and welcoming place for anti-feminist anti-abortion right wing transphobes than give up fun crab.

You are showing that your need to throw money at a corporation is more important to you than trans tumblr users. I get where you are coming from. I do. You want tumblr to keep existing. I want tumblr to keep existing. I also want the other trans people who use this fucking platform to keep existing because frankly, they are the only reason i'm here. and if they aren't safe here and if you will throw us away just to keep tumblr shambling along a little longer then I have no fucking interest in tumblr.

"Okay but we need to save tumblr uwu!!!!" Look I'm just some dumbass and I don't know shit (and to be PERFECTLY honest, so are you), but I think this is a little more complicated than "if we raise enough money we can save the school/family farm/community centre/(insert cozy heartwarming thing that needs to be saved)!" As other smarter people have said, tumblr is operating at a yearly $30 million deficit. Thats $30 million just to break even. For one year. not become profitable. Its not a bail them out once and its all good forever situation. Tumblr is not a small message board run by volunteers who actually use donations to stay afloat. They are not a non-profit. They are not running a pledge drive. Throwing money at a corporation does not a nonprofit make. It makes you a consumer.

Your response to "tumblr making bad changes" is "give them money for making the bad changes to show that we don't like bad changes!! A reverse boycott'll show 'em!!" You sure about that??? (And some of you are calling this """""unionizing?"""" Put that word back on the shelf.) You don't know what you're doing and you're not listening to the smarter people who have tried to explain it to you. And once again, you're showing that this half baked scheme is more important to you than trans tumblr users. because crab fun.

And @everyone whos clambering over each other to "collaborate with conservatives for a good cause," we already fucking know that you love to do this shit. You are the same people who will say "yeah but theres bad people on both sides!!!" and who wont give up your Harry Potter or your Chick-Fil-A. You will throw us under the bus the SECOND it gets you something you want. Even something as stupid and small as pickle brine or a shitty videogame or fucking "crab day." And guess what. The second all your "shared goals" are accomplished and the conservatives get what they want FROM YOU??? You're going straight under that bus too.

And also, isn't it maybe a little hmmmm. SUSPICIOUS that CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS want to throw money at the site that we've been bitching and screaming at for how unfairly it censors any display of queer sexuality????? They don't have the same problems with tumblr that you do. You think that collaborating with THEM is gonna stop that? Gonna get the porn ban reversed? Gonna turn tumblr into a co-op? Gonna "unionize this bitch?" Hello????

If you must. MUST participate in this because crab oh so fun and tumblr is oh so in need of saving then for the LOVE of FUCK make your OWN POST and STOP PLATFORMING THESE PEOPLE. i don't want to hear "Oh but its a good idea it doesn't matter if a bad person came up with it separate art from the artist lol" if you're not MAKING AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO EXCLUDE THEM FROM THIS. BLOCK THEM. CHECK THEIR BLOGS. BLACKLIST THEIR URLS. ITS EASY.

and then maybe go give your $3 to an actual non-profit. or to an actual leftist independent organization. Or wikipedia. Or inaturalist. Or to one of the many hyperspecific message boards out there who are struggling along on donations from like 5 people. Or maybe, maybe, give your fucking $3 to an abortion fund or to a trans person's go fund me so they can buy food. Or to a womens shelter or a fucking homeless person or to any of the other people who anti-abotion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobes want to stop existing.

My partner is afraid to leave the house alone because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are getting their HRT ripped away from them because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are being forced to give birth because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. Every day I'm ready to get the news that the state my partner is in is no longer safe and we have to figure out an escape plan. These people do REAL HARM in the REAL WORLD and their beliefs are, tbh, way more fucking insidious and mainstream and tolerated than those of TERFs.

But fun crabs are more important. okay.

#I have almost no followers here like 3 people will see this but i can't not say anything #prob gonna lose a few beloved mutuals over this screed tbh well so it goes #I'm sorry this is so aggressive i realize that some people still dont know but im VERY frustrated by the response here #I'm pinning this post and everyone who clicks on my blog to look at a cute bug has to see it #being trans on tumblr is infuriating #being trans in THE WORLD is infuriating #crab day #the crabbening #july 29 #crab week #save tumblr #anti crab day #etc etc etc #DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING DISAPPOINTING IT IS TO SEE ALL THESE TAGS AND SEE HOW BIG THIS THIS HAS GOTTEN AND STILL NOONE GIVES A SHIT

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iraprince · 2 years

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hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

#ira answers

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zestymimblo · 8 months

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Writeblr - ReIntroduction

Howdy howdy! I figured I'd type one of these out again because I'm trying to be more active on here, and also pushing myself to indulge in my passion for writing again... this helped last time, so I may as well give it another shot.

My name is Milo (he/xe) and I'm an aspiring author. I've always loved writing, and there's never been a point in my life where I didn't want to write in some capacity. It's easy for me to succumb to writer's block, but writing makes me happy and I want to be able to share what I create.

About Me

I'm a 21 year old (very gay) transman from Canada, and I want so badly to be able to travel to other parts of the world one day.

I'm a D&D nerd. When I struggle with a writing project, I often fall back on expanding my D&D worlds/characters. It's my safety net.

My career is in film. I work in the Art Department, mainly in props, and am working towards maybe becoming a Production Designer one day. Film work is a competing passion of mine, and you'll definitely find posts of me talking about work.

Like most other authors, I love weird shit, and you'll find a lot of weird stuff in my writing. Weird Fantasy is my favourite kind of genre.

In my writing you'll find themes of 2SLGTBQIA+, found family, fighting destiny, struggling under mega-corps/capitalism, nature vs nurture, self-discovery, different kinds of love, slightly unsettling surroundings, and weird lil monsters/freaky dudes.

My Current Projects

I have two writing projects going on right now. One I had to put on the backburner because I had written myself into a corner. The story wasn't progressing or flowing the way I had envisioned/planned, and I ended up getting more stressed than excited to write it. The other is one more laid-back for me to write. (Keep in mind, these short descriptions may be subject to change in the future)

The Strings of Willis Manor: Thistle Willis is sick. Her condition leaves her confined to the property of Willis Manor; a sprawling estate with lush gardens, dusty libraries, and secret corridors. At her attendance is Clementine (an automata handmaid, who was created with the sole purpose of tending to Thistle) and Andromeda Marrow (Thistle's childhood best friend). When her father doesn't return from a business trip to the South, Thistle's mother begins to fear the worst. In an effort to find a cure for her daughter, and establish Thistle as the head of the family business, Mama hires a Healer from an unknown land. But this cloaked Healer isn't who they say they are, and Thistle begins to uncover what really may be going on in the house she thought she could call home.

(Backburner) - Beneath Tattered Flesh: In the hissing, polluted, Magic, and bronze city of Ritec, Caesar Dampton is trying to move forward. He's trying to get over a bad break-up, make ends meet, and help his best friend - Emersyn Riley - find her place in the world. Between running away from his ex, and trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life, Caesar is stuck in a downward spiral. Newt Gourdeau got the chance of a lifetime; a full scholarship to Verne Cobb University. Leaving their small town behind, they carved out a life for themself in the city of opportunities. They're trying to bury their problems in mystery novels, university studies, and attempting to find a scientific reason as to why some people in this world have Magic, while others don't. Their obsessions leave them in solitude for days. But when the unlikely pair see similar tragic events happen at the same time, but in different parts of the city, they stumble into each other's lives. Manipulation and death follow the two at every step, but they're both determined to get to the bottom of a gruesome mystery unfolding in the city... or die trying.

What I'm Looking For

As you could probably already tell, I'm not awesome at keeping myself "on schedule", which is code for "I sometimes let my life/anxiety/career/whatever eat away at my passion for writing and I'll abandon it for several months a time". Having a place to post updates, or even just little rambles, really helps me out.

So in all honesty, if you're interested in what you see, then feel free to stick around! I'd love to chat, do fun word tags, and just be in a community of like-minded people.

Thanks for reading!

#queer writers #writeblr #my writing #writing #creative writing #writer #writers on tumblr #beta reader #writeblr intro #writeblr community

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switchcase · 1 year

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"There is nothing inherently wrong with talking about these things, but there is a way that western society currently engages with trauma that is extremely Freudian and rather useless to everyone involved."

I'm very curious about this - please could you explain more?

Freudian psychology is, basically, this idea that if anything is currently maladaptive with your behavior or way of thinking, then it stems from some adverse childhood experience. The term "anal retentive" actually comes from this--Freud theorized that if you were obsessed with order and control then something bad must have happened during the psychosexual period of development focused on your anus that caused you to be like that in adulthood, whether you remembered it or not or whether you felt it was true or not.

Current western culture is very into this idea that anything currently wrong with you must be because of your past and it must have been something traumatic that happened. It frames the human experience as this very stagnant, inert thing that you are simply saddled with rather than something you have any semblance of control over. It devalues positive and negative experiences both by pretending that only trauma could possibly influence your behavior, when every single experience and interaction you have affects you.

Combined with western individualism and it becomes not a discussion of trauma, how to support each other as a community and as people, how to address traumatic events, but instead a fixation on what makes ME different and why I act the way I do and why it is completely ok for ME to behave that way regardless of how I affect others. It is not about actually unpacking experiences, not about healing, but only labelling them because now that is your identity. Add in this idea of the self as a brand, the self as a commodity, the self as an image to sell, and you get trauma as its own brand. This is how you get articles about the president gaslighting the nation, how you get people selling crystals for $300 to heal your inner child, people on Etsy selling DBT worksheets you could have gotten for free, how you get data tracking mental health apps that report your depression to your boss, how you get therapy speak and accusations of abuse if a friend group breaks up, how you get people who decide that anything unpleasant that happened to them was clearly traumatic rather than simply unpleasant because if it's NOT traumatic why would it affect them so much? It becomes competition--in a capitalist society wherein everything you are is a weapon against everyone else, why wouldn't it be a competition for who has it worse, better, whose story is most unique, how else can it be monetized? This is how you get abuse terminology watered down, weaponized, thrown out for shock value and social gain.

None of this is how you actually work on anything, though. The BIGGEST thing that prevents someone from developing long term maladaptive behaviors after experiencing trauma is a support system. But in the midst of all this talk on trauma in the west, because it is all so individualistic and self-serving, everyone is still so achingly alone. This fixation on trauma is not actually preventing other people from being traumatized on a wide scale. It is not helping people who are already traumatized. Talking is a great help, awareness of these things is so essential to preventing more hurt, but this is not what is happening on a wide scale amongst every day people. Because on a wide scale westerners have not formed an actual community, have not formed any community safety nets, do not point each other to community resources.

#ask #anonymous #If it seems like I hold great contempt for all this it is because I do

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ladyzirkonia · 10 months

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Shattered Minds - Part 1 - The note

Doc, an idealistic GAR doctor, becomes obsessed with helping Jenot - known as Commander Ghoul - a severely traumatised clone trooper suffering from severe survivor's guilt after losing his entire battalion. As Doc tries to mend the broken pieces of Jenot's mind, she struggles with her growing feelings for him, believing he hates her for forcing him into this life.

Tags and warnings for the whole work: This story is written for an adult audience so MINORS DNI, violence, death, medical procedures, mental disorder, mention of prosthetics, drug abuse

Commander Ghoul belongs to @cloned-eyes (here and here), Doc belongs to me. (here and here)

note: First part is a little short because it was never intended to be a longer story. I don't know how regularly I will post a chapter, but the first three are already written so have fun. tags: @staycalmandhugaclone

Part 2

Part 1 - The note

word count: 870

A woman, dressed in a GAR medical uniform and wearing goggles, hurried down a long corridor, visibly agitated. She glanced intently around the corner, apparently trying to go unnoticed. When she came to a certain door, she seemed to hesitate for a moment, then readjusted her goggles and quickly and somewhat frantically slipped a message under the door, cursing softly to herself. After that, she moved on quickly, as if she regretted what she had done, but was also relieved to have done it, and then hurried away as fast as she had come.

***

Can you tell me where you've been this time? You know very well that these check ups have to be done. Do you think it's fun for me to wait for you to turn up each time and worry about it? I swear, next time I'll report you to your general. I'm sick ot this!

It was at this point that she seemed to pause. The writing suddenly changed, her handwriting became very neat, as if every word had been chosen very carefully, as if she had briefly regained her emotions and her analytical side had resurfaced. And no one was better at getting her to break out of her analytical safety net than Jenot.

I know you're hiding, and I know you don't want any of this. Be angry. Be mad at me if you want. I know you're blocking my datapad messages. I don't care, but I can't let you harm yourself, not like this.

She stopped writing again. What the hell was that all about? She wasn't good with words; she was good at her job, with her hands, but definitely not a psychologist. But she would never forget the day she saw him for the first time. It had not been easy for her; the first time in the GAR was hard. At first she had been over-motivated and full of idealism, thinking she could do something, help off the battlefield, but that had changed quickly after the first badly injured clones had been brought in. She had come to expect a lot from her job, but the experience had traumatised her, as she had been unable to help most of the men beyond holding their hands for a moment. And when she could, many of them were so traumatised that they were eliminated after a short time. Dealing with the clones and seeing how they were treated had been a shock to her, and the fact that there was little she could do about it still tortured her, as it went against everything she had sworn an oath to.

The day CT-1313 was brought in was particularly bad. Nearly the entire 331st Battalion had been wiped out, and those who had managed to get there had either died at her hands or been banned from taking further action. Jenot had been doubly lucky, firstly because the Jedi General Uros Ka had saved him instead of leaving him to die, and secondly because he had known where to take him. The sight that awaited her had been horrible, but the months before had made her so numb that it hardly shocked her anymore. He was missing a forearm, but the bigger problem was clearly his face, which looked terrible. It was not uncommon for her to have to replace injured eyes, a technique she had mastered to perfection and was very proud of. Amongst others, she had fitted Commander Wolffe with a new eye, which had been one of her first operations of this kind. That was the reason why she was still very fond of the clone commander, who was otherwise rather known for his rough and grumpy manner. Jenot's face, however, was barely there; she had to reconstruct both eyes and almost the entire lower jaw.

But she had known immediately that she could save HIM, it was possible, even if she had to bypass GAR protocols. But ambition had gotten the better of her; she could finally do something. It had taken long and difficult procedures to save his life, and when the work was done, she had been so proud of her achievement that she had almost forgotten the cost.

Jenot had been so traumatised and filled with such hatred that she feared she would never be able to allow him to return to duty. His guilt tore him apart, and every day since she had wondered if she had done the right thing, if it had been right to save him and force this life on him. There hadn't been a day since when she hadn't tried everything to make him better, to find his old self again. She became attached to him in a way she had never allowed any of the clones before, and she took his hostility and anger towards her without any resistance because she felt responsible for his fate. For that very reason, she could not allow him to give up after the long and hard road they had already been down.

Please, just a quick check-up, it doesn't have to be in the medbay. I would never report you, I hope you know that. I was just so angry. That should sound familiar. Doc

#oc x oc #oc doc x oc commander ghoul #commander ghoul #clone wars fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #clone wars #oc: doc #star wars oc #clone wars oc #oc: jurij vega #oc: commander ghoul

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josiesullysblog · 1 year

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Outcast P4

~Lo’ak x Metakaynia reader

~fluff, angst

~Proofread?-no

~Summary-Payakan and [Y/n] reunite!

***

Finally. Finally, Lo’ak was able to mate with the girl who has been the center of his universe.

The reason he can't sleep, the reason he smiles, his everything, his [Y/n]. These last couple of months have been hard, to say the least.

With the sky people, having to move away from everything he's ever known, his father always on his back, you were his safety net.

He knew he could come to you for everything and you’d listen. You’d be there no matter what, and he’d love you no matter what.

But he knew you longed to be back in the ocean. He doesn't blame you at all, I mean the ocean was all you knew.

He knew how much you wanted to talk with Payakan, and he was determined to make it happen. He knew if he needed this to work, he needed help.

Neteyam, of course, was going to help him. Neteyam was supposed to keep his parents distracted enough so he could sneak himself and you out to see Payakan.

Tsireya insisted on helping, so she kept you busy while Lo’ak went to get Payakan. You sat in the sand feeling it under your fingertips smiling. Even though you were on bad terms with her mother, and often found yourself jealous of her only when she was around Lo’ak, you still found a friendship with Tsireya.

She was kind and besides Lo’ak, has been an amazing help in getting you situated in the tribe. You had felt you had truly had a place within the people, but you still longed for Payakan.

Tonight, you were no longer going to be one person after you and Lo’ak make the connection, it was always going to be you two.

This excited you, your whole life you felt alone like you were I'm able to love. Lo’ak changed everything for you, this was something you’d never forget.

“Where has he gone?” you asked Tsireya once again. You stood up trying to head back to find him, “he told me he’d be back quickly!”

Tsireya grabbed your arm bringing you somewhere else, “let's ride around and find pretty shells to make bracelets!”

You nodded excitedly, “I make more bracelets for Lo’ak!” you and Tsireya giggled as you both walked away. Lo’ak on the other hand was trying to find Payakan.

As he was about to give up, he noticed something glow under him. A smile crossed his face as the Tulkun jumped out of the water and over him, “Payakan!”

The Tulkun made a noise signaling he was happy, “I’ve missed you,” Lo’ak signed to him as he hugged him. “I’ve missed you as well,” he said, “she misses you as well.”

Payakan smiled, “is she doing okay? Has she adjusted?” true family doesn't need to be born by having the same blood. Payakan was a great example of this, no matter what anyone could say Payakan was your father.

“she’s doing amazing, her speech is good!” Lo’ak smiled as he spoke of you, “she has become really good at making bracelets! She enjoys helping my mother make food too, and she's good with children!”

He continued going, “especially, my younger sister Tuk they are very close!” Payakan laughed, “and you two?” Lo’ak looked at him funny, “what about us?”

“Have you both mated?” Lo’ak blushed, “we are going to, tonight,” Payakan flipped Lo’ak into the water, “congratulations!”

Lo’ak laughed coming up, “everything has been extremely well except for the fact that she misses you,” Lo’ak patted his head, “she tells me every day she wishes to tell you that she is alright.”

“I came out here to ask you if it were all right if I bring her out here,” Payakan smiled, “of course it is alright with me! I’ve missed my little girl!” Lo’ak smiled brightly, “I will bring her by later when everyone is asleep!” he smiled big he couldn't wait to surprise you.

“I want to go back to Lo’ak,” you had enough bracelet making and we're desperate to see him again. “Are you sure I haven't gotten this tie down quite yet, can you show me again?” Tsireya tried stalling longer.

“No, I want to see Lo’ak!” you left the tent and saw him coming from the water, “Lo’ak! Look what I made!” you ran into his arms laughing as he kissed you. You placed the bracelet on his wrist, which already had many on it.

“Thank you, gorgeous,” his eyes were filled with so much love. He couldn't believe he was about to mate with the prettiest girl, “where you go?” you played with his braids, “nowhere special but I did wanna show you something!”

“Okay,” you immediately started walking away with him. Tsireya watched from the distance, you had done so amazing in such little time.

“Okay, close your eyes!” you covered them as he lead you down the beach. “Okay, open them!” you were hit by the prettiest sight of the beach. It was sunset, and the beach looked like heaven touched it. The ocean though, the ocean couldn't get prettier, “it's so pretty!”

You admired the beach, while Lo’ak’s eyes never left you. “Not as pretty as you,” you blushed at his words. He always knew how to make you feel pretty. You never felt less around him, you felt like you didn't deserve such an amazing boy.

“I love you,” you looked at him kissing his lips, “I love you, till last breath,” he smiled big spinning you around, “I will always love you.” you laughed as he set you down.

“You have truly changed my life in the best way,” Lo’ak kissed your hand, “I am so lucky to have a girl like you with me.”

You smiled, “i’m lucky, mate with Lo’ak!” you laughed as he nodded. He grabbed his queue bringing it closer, which you did copying him. You both connected them, a sigh leaving your mouth as you felt the connection.

“Happy! So happy!” Lo’ak cheesed at you, he couldn't wait any longer to show you the surprise. “I have one more thing to show you!” he led you toward the water, “excited!”

Meanwhile back at home, Neteyam had failed to keep his side of the bargain up. Neytiri anxiously ran toward Ronal’s tent, “Ronal, call for a search party my son is missing,” Tsireya walked in as they spoke, “there is no need for such things!” he tried to calm the woman down.

“Yes, there is, my son, is missing!” Tsireya looked at Neteyam who looked frazzled. “Mom I promise you Lo’ak is fine!” Ronal hissed as she went to leave, “do not worry we will help find your son.” Tsireya went to stop her mother but Aonung walked in, “I know where he has gone.”

Net Ryan stood in front of the boy, “stop, you will regret this,” Aonung laughed, “I promise I won't,” he turned to face his mother, “he went off with that freak, to see Payakan,” Ronal hissed as Neytiri gasped.

“Aonung,” Tsireya looked at him with disappointment, “we will go retrieve them both, and finally put this to rest.” Ronal and Neytiri left the room.

“Where we go?” you looked around but you saw nothing. Lo’ak smiled big, “just wait and see!” you closed your eyes letting the water hit you. Till you saw it, till you saw him.

Tears pulled into your eyes, “Lo’ak see?” you jumped into the water swimming toward Payakan, “PAYAKAN!”

you engulfed your arms around him as tears fell. You sobbed as you kissed his fin, “miss you so much!” Payakan felt tears threaten to fall as he watched you.

You grew so much in the few months you both have been apart, “I’ve missed you as well, little one!” you smiled at the name he always called you.

“Name is now [Y/n]! No longer little one!” Lo’ak smiled, “we mated Paya! Me and Lo’ak together!”

Payakan laugh, “i’m so happy for you, little one!” you hugged him, “best surprise Lo’ak!” You couldn't believe you were with him again.

It felt like a dream and you would wake up, and your cheeks hurt so bad from smiling so much.

You three played together, it felt like the first time you three met, three outcasts finding a place within each other.

You couldn't believe that so much love could surround you, you couldn't help the tears that fell down your eyes.

“Why Payakan leave?” you looked into his eye, “you deserved better, you weren't living your life out here.” You went to speak but he beat you, “look at you now, little one! You speak so much, you laugh and smile, and you even met your mate!”

Payakan couldn't be happier, he was so proud of the person you became, and are continuing to be. “Little one, although I may not be with you physically, I am with you through love,” Lo’ak heard a noise behind him making him whip his head back.

In the distance, he saw his father and mother, and Ronal and her husband, “what the hell-,” he looked at you, patted your head, and stood up, “I need to pee!”

He didn't want this moment ruined, “stop!” he tried flagging them down, which worked. “Lo’ak what were you thinking?” Neytiri held the boy in a type grip, “they told you Payakan was dangerous!”

Lo’ak tried to defend his actions but was cut off by Ronal, “you want to be the death of all of us, huh? I told you and your girl what dangers await out here, yet you both ignore any words of warning and come out here! We should let that Tulkun dispose of you both for you two to learn!”

Ronal’s bitterness roared deeply as she swam closer to the boy, but was stopped as she noticed something behind him. “Every time you see the ocean and smile, know I'm smiling back at you!” you placed your head on Payakan, “but I miss you and Lo’ak miss you as well can't you come?”

He sighed, “I wish they outcasted me, but it is okay,” you shook your head, “outcast just gets a bad rep,” Lo’ak smiled as he agreed with your statement.

“See? He isn’t hurting her, or causing her any type of pain!” Lo’ak looked at Ronal, “you say her mother would never leave her behind, but explain this? Just because her mother was good to you, doesn't mean she wasn't bad to [Y/n]!” His words caused tears to roll down Ronal’s face.

She hadn't thought of it that way, she had always looked up to her friend and she couldn't imagine her friend causing anyone pain. She had wanted to be a mother so badly, so how could she do this to you? Some questions are best left unanswered.

She couldn't deny the connection she saw between you and Payakan, “we will leave,” Ronal turned to leave but Neytiri held Lo’ak, “I expect you home ten minutes home after us,” she kissed his forehead and left.

Lo’ak joined you both and Payakan smiled, “I think you both should leave now,” You frowned, “will I ever see you?” tears welled in your eyes, you feared this may be the last time you see him.

Payakan looked at Lo’ak and smiled at you both, “we are always together, little one. In the palace of dreams, in the garden of memories, the three of us meet.” Lo’ak hugged you as you smiled, “but dream isn’t real.”

“Who is to say which is which?” you smiled as you and Lo’ak left. You knew that was probably the last time you are ever going to see him. But you weren't sad, he was the reason you were alive and you thank him and your heart will always go out for him.

Payakan wanted you to keep moving forwards, soon you and Lo’ak would have a family and your being sad would not be beneficial, Payakan smiled as you both left. He knew you’d be just fine.

“Thank you,” you kissed Lo’ak smiling, “I can't wait for the future!” you were optimistic about what was next for you, “me too,” Lo’ak wasn't sure what was going to happen but you were there, so he knew he’d be just fine.

***

This shouldn't have taken me as long as it did. But Tumblr wasn't working and my schedule got in the way, but it's done I hope you all enjoy it!!

Taglist: @cherry-blossom24, @yourbobaeyestell, @erenjaegerwife, @mashiromochi, @nxptury, @eywaheardyou, @vviolaswrld, @stevesdick, @nana-luvsyu, @liyahsocorro, @coterami

#avatar way of water #neteyam #avatar loak #avatar #loak x reader #avatar neytiri #avatar tuk #jake sully #neteyam x y/n #neytiri #outcast #loak sully #loak x you

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ronnie-anne-6666 · 5 months

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RotTMNT | Whumptober 2023 (and I don't give a fuck that it's not October anymore)

Story 1: But now this room is spinning while I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps

Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Pt. 1

− Hey, Don-Tron, it's breakfast time! – A clear and indecently cheerful voice for such an early hour came from a speaker near the ceiling of the laboratory. Donnie didn't even have to look at the cameras to figure out who was bothering him at such a time. Exhaling noisily, he commands a mechanical hand to press the microphone button.

− Not hungry, Nardo.

No matter how hard he tries to make his voice less tired, the low volume and blurred sonorous consonants betray the degree of his exhaustion. Donnie's fingers slide over the keyboard, typing more and more new lines of code, and the monitor's light at minimum brightness is reflected in his dark brown eyes. A loud cough coming from outside makes him twitch and frown in displeasure. The camera broadcasting what is happening outside the laboratory shows the same displeased face of his twin.

− Bullshit. – Leo's right leg, not in a cast, hits the metal door. — C'mon, buddy, get out of your dark realm. You've been stuck there forever.

– Fifty−nine hours, – Donatello corrects dryly, but his older brother doesn't hear it.

The tapping of the keys becomes louder and jerkier. Yeah, damn it, he's been sitting here for more than two days, but hasn't been able to get far in creating advanced software for his systems. Among the lines running on the screen, every now and then there was some stupid mistake that makes his teeth grind with displeasure. Donnie tightens his jaw and shakes a head. Blurring appears at the edges of vision for a moment, but it dissipates as soon as the ninja blinks several times in a row. A quick glance at the nearby monitor — Leon is looking directly into the camera, his posture tense and radiating... something not very positive. Well, Donatello was really bad at reading emotions.

− Ignoring me? Okay. — The turtle in the blue mask turns around, the sound of crutches serving as his support beats an uneven dull rhythm. – Starve to death there.

As soon as these words reach his ears, Donnie's stomach reflexively twists into a knot and emits the unpleasant howl of a dying whale. The genius curses and leans his head back on the computer chair. Physiological needs always disappear from his list of tasks as soon as a worthwhile project appears on the horizon. Sometimes he regrets that he has not yet made himself a cyborg who does not need breaks for sleep, meals and the toilet. A broken smile appears on his face when Donatello imagines himself with a shiny chrome body. It seems like the dream of a moody child, so what?

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donnie #rise leo #disaster twins #whumptober2023 #Don't beat me up for machine translation #I'm not English.

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dovelydraws · 1 year

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Tell me abt your ocs 👁👁👁👁

oh GOD I have so many asldjfljk um!!!

I'll start with my dnd/pathfinder character Revun, since I've been posting about them a lot recently!! I'm no longer concerned about sharing spoilers because I got all my party members to block campaign spoilers hehe 💕

^ Made this little icon of them for discord recently (he/they/she)

The backstory doc i originally handed to my GM was over 5k words long, (plus there's also been several nights of me rambling in their dms expanding on all the stuff I'd Already Written) so I'm gonna try my best to. condense this lmao

Revun's bio parents were both human; their mom made a deal with a daemon while she was pregnant to save her father's life from a severe illness that would have killed him, and as a consequence of that her child was born a tiefling.

The social stigma of having a tiefling child (everyone just immediately knows she made some kind of deal with a fiendish entity) became too much for them to handle, so their mom and grandfather chose to abandon them four years after they were born, and start a new life elsewhere where no one knew them. Revun spent the next seven years in an orphanage, until they ran away to go try and join a mercenary group that passed through town at one point.

Throughout Revun's life, they've been haunted by a spirit in the shape of a black wolf with gold eyes that match their own. It only appears when they are in the middle of having a near death experience- so far, that's been twice. The first was when they were 11, and they nearly froze/starved to death out in the woods after running away. The second was after a disagreement with their boss/somewhat father figure lead to him nearly killing them at 25.

While Revun never learned all the details of their mom's deal, they at least are somewhat aware that whatever she did saved their grandfather's life. They are convinced at this point that whatever happened must have created some sort of imbalance in the afterlife or something, and this wolf was expecting a new soul that day that never came. And now, it's stalking Revun waiting for them to drop dead, to take them as a replacement like some sort of debt collector. I'm unsure if this is actually the case since I decided to leave the details up to my GM, but this is what Revun believes and they are absolutely terrified of it.

Speaking of that mercenary group, they did take them in and save them that night, but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Revun ended up spending the rest of their childhood in a pretty toxically masculine environment, and with an expectation placed on their shoulders to always follow orders and never try to argue, even if they may be uncomfortable or feel something was a bad idea.

A portion of the mercenary company was hired to act as bodyguards at a prestigious vineyard, of which had recently made some enemies with their business competition. Revun spent about a year and a half there, becoming very close friends with the winemaker's daughter, until the deal fell through and the company was offered more money to destroy the vineyard and kill the family/any workers on the property to make sure there were no witnesses. Revun nearly died getting their best friend to safety and trying to help any workers they could find, fighting against the only family they'd really had the chance to know.

They somehow managed to escape, and were found laying on the side of the road a couple miles away from the vineyard by some passing travelers, who were able to patch them up and drop them off at the next town. They'd been separated from everyone- their entire social safety net was gone, their worldview completely changed overnight. That was a Lot for them to handle, so they kind of just... Didn't.

They've decided to just try to move on, forget everything that happened and everyone that was ever important to them. Start a new life somewhere else. Don't think about it. Pretend it never happened.

All of this has ended up creating a guy with a lot of self loathing, abandonment issues, anxiety and paranoia, and a Very Stubborn "don't worry about it! :)" attitude.

I love them so much. They make me feel like this:

#campaign spoilers #asks #thank you. thank you so much for asking. you have no idea how much i've been dying to talk about this guy.#putting them in a little jar w/ airholes and then shaking them around violently #dove speaks #revun #I'm keeping it to just them for now bc otherwise this post would get insanely long #but I'm hoping to start posting art of my future webcomic characters soon! I'm currently working on character sheets for them

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barbaracleboy · 7 months

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Random, but I'm just gonna drop ideas I had for a potential backstory/potential headcanons for Mothiva (plus a little for Zasp too):

So, Mothiva was born outside of Bugaria, the youngest in a very poor family of Moths. One that would be lucky if each member got more than maybe one full meal a day. Mothiva's father passed away shortly before she pupated, so she mostly spent time with her older brother, her even older sister, and her mother. It was a bad time, Mothiva hated living the poor life, and she was very vocal in that hate. Her mother wasn't necessarily neglectful to her kids, she tried her best with taking care of them, but the woman was clearly stressed and she seemed to take some of it out verbally on her children (Mothiva claiming to have been targeted the most). Another thing about Mothiva is that she ended up becoming a decent fighter mainly due to her living conditions: her family back then didn't have a single, steady home, and the places they'd sleep would often be shared by things like Seedlings. As well, Mothiva fought with her siblings somewhat often, and it wasn't too uncommon for these fights to escalate to physical violence.

Really, one of the few things that made Mothiva and her family happy back then was singing: occasionally, when they were all bored or gloomy, the family would sit around and take turns singing songs. Everyone especially liked when it was Mothiva's turn, as even as a child she had a wonderful singing voice. The only time Mothiva remembers her mother smiling was when it was her youngest child's turn to sing. One time Mothiva was a bit away from home and sang, getting some Bugs to give her money. She brought it back home only to be berated by her mother for "begging". This ended up teaching Mothiva to keep secrets and put up facades: she didn't stop singing for money, she kust never told her mom about it and tried hiding the money from her, lying about it if found out. Mothiva's siblings never cared about the momey and never said anything to their mother.

Eventually, one Bug gave Mothiva not just money, but advice: they suggested she head to Bugaria, where it'd be possible for her to get as famous "as she deserves". The young Moth very quickly took this to heart, so she packed up her savings and anything else she'd want with her and left home, not even telling her family. Mothiva never brings up her life before Bugaria, she doesn't talk about that time to anyone except maybe Zasp, and she tries her damndest to bury or forget the memories of her life back then. Mothiva doesn't know and isn't interested in knowing how her family's been, she thinks that they think she's dead.

After getting to Bugaria, Mothiva started her idol career at around age 17 or 18. About a year in she felt sge needed a bodyguard, so she hired Zasp, a Wasp she had met some time after her arrival; Zasp and his family were Solitary Wasps that moved to the Wasp Kingdom, but at some point his parents left while Zasp chose to stay. Zasp would later leave the Wasp Kingdom himself when he started realizing how the people there changed (after the Wasp King's takeover). This escape was dangerous and is how Zasp got the scar on his eye. Anyway, Zasp felt he needed work so he became a Bodyguard for Mothiva, and after seeing how well she could defend herself even without his help Zasp suggested they form an Exploration team. If nothing else, it would serve for more opportunities to get famous and find new audiences: Mothiva never, EVER wants to be poor again, so she likes having as many "safety nets" as possible (Singing, Acting, Fashion, Exploring). Truthfully, Mothiva's often not stoked to go on long, arduous adventures, but it's part of her image now and what's more it helps with training. Plus, more excuses to spend time with Zasp are nice.

#bug fables #writing #headcanon #bug fables spoilers #mothiva #zasp

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manonamora-if · 6 months

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i dont know if u feel up for it to answer but like... how do u handle negative comments and ratings and just people being negative about ur stuff? bc i have someone just being rude in comments or like notes and game folders on itch and its making me want to just delete everything and never show anyone anything anymore. or even have an acocunt on itch either.

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry you've been dealing with this, and that it took me so long to answer. I've been thinking about this for a while honestly. I've been writing a bunch of drafts for this one, because my answer seems to change with the day or my mood. Some of my stuff have had some strange interactions lately that's made me question whether I should stay on itch myself. I mean, I don't think I'll ever leave... there are too many fun jams I want to participate and, you know, to force people to play my weird stuff. But I've been more anxious about new stuff or updates I share recently.

I don't blame you for wanting an out. Some users will poison one's experience of a platform, that even opening the site would give them anxiety. It doesn't take much to have events or projects soured. Often, just a few rude words is enough to make accounts disappear without a word. And many platform don't have good safety nets (blocking, moderation, reports) to temper or avoid these situations. Many will have half-ass solutions that, at the end of the day, still allows interactions from blocked users. It's easy to wonder if all of this is worth it...

Anyway, the very boring and short answer to your question: it depends.

The probably as boring and long one is a bit of a ramble:

It depends on the day, or the mood I have. It's easier to deal with comments when I'm confident and things are going find; but I'd feel more hurt or have a harder time dealing with them when I'm a bit more morose (I think most people feel this way). I'll disregard any (even barely) negative points some days, only to take it into consideration a few days later. <- this especially during jam/comps time, just need time to digest criticism of any kind.

It also depends on the content of the comment, their tone, and intent of the commenter. Not all negative comments are on the same level. I've had negative comments in the past where the commenter was genuine, and really gave my stuff a shot, bringing interesting points or important concerns. And though it hurt a bit, because being told you made a mistake sucks, those helped me grow. But those are the good kinds of comments...

On the other hand, I try to disregard the trolls, and the abusive comments (towards my work or me), the ones where the engagement was clearly not done in good faith... you know, the ones who will literally tell me I've made the world worse by uploading my games on itch. Doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me at all*. Some of them really hurt or made me angry and frustrated, some have lingered for hours or days in my mind, a few made me close to delete stuff as well. Words are not just empty things without meaning... *I've had to block a few people both here and other places recently because of it, they had become so insistent on wanting to engage with me while bashing most of my work, my values or the few aspects of my identity that I've shared online.

It would be easy to say I just don't give them the time of day or any of my energy, or that I pretend they don't exist, because, if I do, then the trolls win. But that would be lying. Obviously.

Screaming to the void/a pillow or ranting to friends have helped get rid of my anger and frustration. I've laughed with others about some comments I got (usually the bad faith ones, some of them are funny in how sad/bad they were). I think what worked best for me was just turn off the computer and go outside for a bit. Or turned off the internet and play silly games on my phone. Or picked up a book. Or watch a movie. Essentially, any activity that would distract me from it and force me to take a break. And when none of this worked, because some trolls are just that insistent, blocking/deleting stuff*. *unfortunately, it's not always possible, see second paragraph again.

It does suck that you're kinda forced to grow a thicker skin to enjoy or even exist in those spaces, and I wish those would be friendlier... but I don't think social platforms/the internet is going in that direction anytime soon.

Maybe not super helpful to your decision, but borogove.io hosts IF games (without ratings or comments, though people can download the files), so does the IFDB through the IFArchive (but there are ratings/reviews there, also can be downloadable). I've seen other peeps host their stuff on neocities (no ratings/comments). None of those platforms are like itch, in the positives or the negative. Or just be old school, and email stuff.

#ask box #gosh I wish I had more concrete stuff to help #or a more positive mindset on things #but yea #I hope things get better for you anon #and that you find what's best for you!#lots of rambles #sorry

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lollytea · 2 years

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Gus: It's been a wild week. Willow and Hunter are dating now. Well, I mean, okay, they're not like dating dating but they're....they're trying to, y'know? They're making an honest attempt and I'm proud of their efforts, bless their hearts, but it's...okay here's where it gets complicated. They make me come along on all their dates. All of them. And I get it. Gus the Illusion Master is in very high demand around the Boiling Isles and nobody is crazier about me than those two and I'm just plain awesome to hang out with. But....I think there's something deeper going on here and they're not self aware enough to realize it. See, I'm a buffer. I'm their good ol' buddy Gus. I'm familiar. I'm a comfort to have around. It doesn't feel so much like a date when I'm standing right between them. Cause like, they want to date, they really do, but they're terrified of what will happen if they take that leap. And I understand. That way of thinking is normal.

First of all, you can imagine how jittery Willow must be, with her severe abandonment issues n' all. She's also got this huge imposter syndrome and worries deep down that all the people she cares about are gonna get bored of her one day.

And Hunter, man, where to begin with him? Dude's got an inferiority complex the size of the Titan's butt. What do you expect when he was raised with the ingrained belief that he's replaceable and he feels the need to break his back just to justify his existence?

Like don't get me wrong. Both of their confidence has skyrocketed. Willow’s improved a ton since she switched to the plant track and Hunter is NOT the hot mess he was when I met him. They're ready for this. I know they are. But here's the thing. Navigating your first romantic relationship can really put you in a vulnerable position, and that in turn makes your biggest insecurities flare up like a rash.

The trauma the two of them have endured is effecting the way they approach their relationship. They're so desperate to hold on to each other that their brains are playing tricks on them. They're magnifying a perceived notion that this thing between them is fragile. It's not. They should know it’s not. But being scared out of your mind can really warp the perception of logical people like Willow and Hunter.

In their eyes, it's as though even the tiniest mistake could shatter their friendship beyond repair. They're terrified of that happening. They can't fathom losing each other. They want this so bad, they really do, but they're so afraid of what could go wrong that they're still using me as a safety net. As long as I'm around, it's just like always, right? When it's the three of us, it's just a bunch a pals and they can actually perceive their bond with each other through a clear lense.

It's only when I'm out of the picture that they get their jitters and it causes them to spiral. It's a barrier. New relationships should be experimental, right? It's all about figuring our boundaries and what aspects you want to explore. But this here is preventing them from doing that. Because experimentation is risky. Titan forbid they take a risk. I can't even decide which one is more likely to make the first move.

I know, Willow's always been braver in the romantic department. But here's the thing. When she sets her mind to something, she can be really really stubborn. She's never done something like this before. Once that half-a-witch mentality of hers rears its ugly head, she's a goner. She becomes paralysed by hesitation.

And man, don't even get me started on how much Hunter is struggling with this. As I said, relationships are experimental and Hunter is a very by-the-book guy. Especially if it's a subject he doesn't know a lot about. Then he holds on to that book like a life line. There's no book out there written about how to date Willow Park. And you can tell that it's really bugging him.

So now we're here and I'm kinda stuck in the middle of it so like....what do I do? Do I sit them both down and force them to confront the psychological root of their reservations? Break the news to them that their pal Gus can't keep coming on all their dates? I know it's bound to break their hearts but TITAN I have my own life.

Buuuuut then again every time we go out they buy me candy and eyescream. I do have a good thing going here. Maybe I.....no I gotta tell them. Hmmmmm unless....you know the carnival is coming to Bonesborough next week? If they bring me with them they'll buy me a ticket, I know they would. They'll probably buy me whatever I want. Heck, Willow will probably give me a piggy back ride when my legs get tired. Man they're such good friends. So...okay okay maybe I'll hold back on their intervention until after the carnival is over. That seems reasonable, right? But...hm. is that a jerk move? Maybe that's a jerk move. I dunno, I'd have to consider it a little more. Anyway. Thoughts?

Hooty: Can we talk about my uvula warts now?

#dont take this seriously

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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The main reason why I don't like tone indicators online is literally that people can just lie using tone indicators. Then there's also the other reasons, like having to keep track on a growing mass of tone indicators (some which overlap), people using tone indicators differently (because at the end of the day, it's people who use them, not machines. People have different ideas on now they should be used), and ultimately, I'm an old ass who don't like change. I'm autistic, and learning to communicate online without tone indicators have been key to learning how to interact with large swathes of people-- yes, fucking up is anxiety inducing.

Fucking up social interactions is also required for humans to learn and grow. Yes, it sucks messing up and people telling you off, or accidentally ruining the mood-- that's still gonna happen, even with tone indicators. RSD sucks, yes, and it can fuck your mood up for the day, but swaddling yourself in tone indicators around strangers mean that one day, you're gonna be in a social sphere where people don't get/use tone indicators. And what mental safety net do you have to catch yourself with then?

I sound like a grumpy old man lmao, but genuinely, having been in discord servers with people who use tone indicators, it's so goddamn uncomfortable. People are walking on eggshells around each other, because they're scared of accidentally triggering their own RSD, or pissing someone off. They actively disliked the fact that I put a period at the end of my sentences, and constantly asked me if I was angry at them because of the existence of a single dot.

There's also no way of putting this last part kindly: if talking without tone indicators means that you regularily have people get pissed at you, then the issue is not that they don't understand that you're, perhaps, joking with them. The issue here might just outright be that you're being rude without knowing. Alternatively, try to be in a social sphere where people don't actively do Bad Faith takes on the regular.

Tl;dr: tone indicators are hindering people from learning and developing social skills required of them, instead shielding them in a layer of safety where they end up becoming terrified of confrontation and anxiety, which instead just makes anxiety and RSD worse when it happens, because the people in question don't get to develop the neccesary tools where they learn how to handle confrontations and their own mental health/disability.

Shorter tl;dr: if I have to see someone write /gen instead of 'genuine question' on sites without a letter limit one more time, I'm going to blow a gasket.

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cyle · 2 years

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Hey I have a couple questions and concerns about the new no reblogs feature, the wip askbox is closed so I hope it’s ok I’m messaging you. Can you turn reblogs on and off at any time after publishing a post? If so what happens to the versions of the post that have been reblogged by other people while it was on, can anyone reblog those at any time or only while it’s allowed by the op? This is a good feature to prevent harassment but I also worry it’s not very healthy for the culture of the site. A quintessential part of tumblr is an innocuous post that “goes viral”, often through funny additions in the reblogs. The OPs sometimes complain about it (notifications become unusable, they get too many followers, etc) now can they turn reblogs off and just take everyone’s fun away? But then people could also just screenshot a post and then we would have “can you make that ask reblogable please” 2.0. Another consequence that is worrisome is the development of echo chambers, with fewer opportunities for good faith, productive discussions. Overall it feels weird to me to be limiting interaction on a social media platform that, especially having no algorithms, is so vitally dependent on it.

these are all great questions and valid concerns. my opinions here are my own, i'm not speaking for Tumblr officially.

first, i believe the way it's supposed to function is that reblog controls are tied to the root/original post, so if the OP decides to slam down "no reblogs" when editing their post, then that effectively cuts off the whole possible future reblog trails, even if people have reblogged it. not 100% sure on that though...

as for it being "healthy for the culture of the site", i hear you. honestly, this is something we've been grappling with for 10+ years on tumblr. specifically whether the original idea that "reblogs being always open means anyone can call you out on a bad take" is net-good or not. our conclusion over the last few years is: no. it's not net-good. it actually leads to more abuse, more hate, more general bad vibes than good. there are a large cohort of people on tumblr who tag things "don't reblog" and for them, it's a safety issue. they don't want bad memories circulating, they don't want their unfinished drafts being more popular than the finished ones, etc etc. it's a niche, but it's unique to tumblr.

based on the data we have, it seems net-benefit to let people control access to the reblog functionality than not. by the way: we've allowed advertisers to control this for many years, to their benefit. why not extend that to anyone/everyone? seems like the same core issue, and we have a long history of it benefiting them.

but! this is all an experiment, at the end of the day. all social media at scale is an experiment, imo. if it ends up that people are abusing this new feature more than using it in good faith, then we may roll it back. software isn't forever. it's literally a one line code change to take it away right now.

the best thing we can all do here is report the blogs/posts that are acting in bad faith, whether they're using this new feature or not. that's ultimately the signal we (staff) are looking for.

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calciumcryptid · 1 year

Text

Chikara Suma | Vytal

Chikara Suma, known professionally as Vytal, is a Japanese idol hero, singer, songwriter, record producer, and actress. She is the head of the Vytal Vinyl Entertainment Agency, and a homeroom teacher at Shiketsu School of Saviors.

APPEARANCE

FASHION

EARLY LIFE & EDUCATION

Chikara Suma was born into the House of Chikara, and like her siblings, she was taught by the top scholars in business, education, heroics, medicine, and many other fields. She was taught proper etiquette by their father and mother.

Unlike her other siblings, Chikara was known for sneaking away from lessons and outside of the house. At thirteen she snuck out to attend her first concert where she fell in love with music.

Upon turning fifteen, Chikara started to attend Shiketsu School of Saviors for her three years of heroics education graduating at eighteen. She then trained under Orange Studios for her three years of idol training until they left at twenty-one due to creative differences.

CAREER

In XXXX, Chikara Suma debuted as a hero under the name Vytal and used the following instant fame to promote her debut single 'Rich Kids'. She later released her first album also titled 'Rich Kids' to great success.

Since then Chikara has released over twelve albums, each commercial and critical successes. She has also covered many pre-quirk songs such as 'Bad Reputation' and 'I Love Rock and Roll'.

In XXXX, Chikara opened her own talent agency called Vytal Vinyl Records (VV Records) where she has signed on many idol heroes.

After opening VV Records, she started to get into acting first in minor cameo roles before secondary roles and then main roles. She has since become the voice of Queen Galaxria in the Monster Wars franchise in both the Japanese and English dubs, a role she genuinely loves as it allows her to interact with a much younger fan base than the teenagers and adults she is used to.

PERSONAL LIFE

Chikara Suma, for years, has refused to disclose her sexuality neither confirming or denying rumors that she is a lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, or any other sexuality. When asked in an interview she told the public, "I'm not saying no, I'm not saying yes, I am saying go ahead and speculate because you are going to anyways."

On XXXX, Chikara Suma revealed in an interview that she has been dating rescue and idol heroine Rosales Alamea, known professionally as Aromatic Heroine: Essence, for six months. The two got engaged six months after, and in a later interview it was revealed they eloped which was a point of contention in the House of Chikara.

PUBLIC IMAGE

Unlike her siblings, Chikara Suma is known for her wild public image and relationship with her fans and the press. Ever since she was young, she'd sneak out and attend parties and concerts where she was pictured drinking and kissing random strangers. Chikara's reputation showed no signs of calming down even upon starting to attend Shiketsu. Many of her former classmates recall Chikara sneaking in the wildest things including a live boar once and threw the greatest parties ever despite it being against school policy. To this day she is known for her parties and ragers.

Chikara has a wide sex appeal, and is considered a sapphic sex symbol. In XXXX, she was named the Sexiest Female Hero.

CONTROVERSY

Due to being from the House of Chikara, Chikara Suma has been labeled a nepotism baby since her debut. Her instant success has often been attributed to her family name, and other alternative artists have criticized her for taking up room in alternative spaces due to many different alternative ideologies focusing on a do-it-yourself ethic and rejecting corporate meddling. As fellow idol hero and former classmate Winesplatter says, "Vytal gets to reap the rewards without any of the sacrifices because ultimately she has a safety net." Chikara Suma has addressed this criticism multiple times, saying everytime that "The song of rebellion is naturally going to be different depending on who you are."

Chikara Suma is known for not holding back on her opinions on other industry professionals, which has gotten her into hot water multiple times. The most notorious instance was when on a reality show she was asked which hero she thought was overrated and she responded 'All Might' with no hesitation. Her reasoning was the amount of damage he leaves behind after his battles and the snide 'You can just tell he is UA Alumni' which turned into a viral internet meme.

Chikara Suma is also known for 'supporting' villains such as Stain, going on the record to say his ideology was right but some of the issues he addressed weren't fixed with death. She used former sidekick Native's appropriation of a caricatured version of Native Americans as an example, saying Native needed to apologize and then either retire or re-brand but he didn't have to die and it is a good thing he didn't because then he could be held accountable for his actions.

When asked about her 'support' of villains, Chikara said that she didn't think agreeing with a villain was the end of the world. It just means an individual recognizes the source of the villain agrees something must be done about it.

Chikara Suma is a known flirt, even after dating and marrying Rosales Alamea. This has caused many to speculate Chikara was either forced into her marriage or was naturally disloyal. Chikara explained to media outlets that 'flirting' was her loving language and a signifier that she respected someone.

Chikara Suma's eloping with Rosales Alamea was a point of contention between her and the media, with the media claiming they were 'robbed' of a House of Chikara wedding especially after Chikara's older brother had a grand wedding years earlier. Chikara responded that her life was not a show or movie, and that just because they used her as a farm for content didn't mean they get to make demands or decide what she does and does not do with her life.

AWARDS & ACCOLADES

XXXX Japanese Music Awards: Best Debut Single (Won)

XXXX Japanese Music Awards: Best First Album (Won)

XXXX Japanese Music Awards: Artist of the Year (Nominated, Lost to Winesplatter)

XXXX Sexiest Female Singer (Won)

XXXX Japanese Music Awards: Artist of the Year (Won)

XXXX Behind The Voice Awards: Best Voice Actress (Won)

Chikara Suma's net worth is around five hundred million dollars as of XXXX.

DISCOGRAPHY

Type of Songs She'd Produce

Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

Rich Kids by New Medicine

Wake Up by Meet Me @ The Altar

Run From Me by Takaayla

Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes

NOTES & REFERENCES

The Shiketsu Heroics Boot Camp

The House of Chikara

This Ask Thread