#THIS IS ILL THOUGHT OUT SORRY

[manager-dante]

i need to flesh this out once i’ve mulled it over more but i adore how limbus company expands on the incredible world-building of project moon, because it is so goddamn realistic.

from the outset the player is presented with this incredibly bleak world in which corporations have become the state. the poor and the desperate bow their heads and toil at the altar of the free market. worth is measured by talent in exploitation. it’s a social darwinist’s wet dream. i also think the choice to base the cast off of literary figures was amazing, because it highlights very important connections to the past. i haven’t read all the books referenced, but the ones i have (the metamorphosis, don quixote de la mancha, & the odyssey so far) draw an unmistakable through-line from the suffering and exploitation depicted in those books to that which occurs in the city. the most horrifying parts of this game in my opinion aren’t the monsters or the machines — it’s the sheer enormity of human suffering which exists in the economic and political system the city operates under. and that’s the worst part, because in so many ways, the suffering and exploitation portrayed in the city is not a hypothetical fantasy — this is just capitalism working as intended. it’s not confined to the historical context of those books, nor the gritty sci-fi horror of the game.

but not only do we have this incredible setting that’s somehow both brutally realistic and fantastical at the same time, we also get to see how our main cast attempts to survive in that world — and ultimately how none of their attempts to change it succeeded at all.

in my mind, canto i portrays how neither kindness nor cold-heartedness will help you survive — especially through the dynamic between aya and hopkins. gregor has been both. he was a war hero in a meaningless war. after it ended, he was discarded as any tool which had outlived its usefulness would be. he can’t even control his arm from becoming a killing machine. and yet, gregor is still exceptionally personable, even going out of his way to be kind at times. but no matter whether he’s a tool for violence in the hands of war profiteers or simply a man doing his best to protect others, he still couldn’t save yuri — just as he couldn’t save his comrades — and this clearly haunts him. neither the war nor its end changed anything.

canto ii shows between rodya and sonya how both direct action and an “inevitable” revolution fail to quell the suffering of the vulnerable. sonya’s revolution is all bluster and no action. he does nothing to help the people in his community in favor of this grandiose revolution that must happen at the “right moment” — even if it means leaving his neighbors to starve in the meantime. rodya’s inspired yet short-sighted action to remove what she saw as the source of her community’s suffering only led to its destruction: the tax collector was a branch, not the root, of the problem, and killing one person did nothing to stop the system which upheld them.

canto iii is even more clear-cut in the ties between sinclair and kromer: neither violent zealotry nor blissful ignorance will save you in the city. kromer’s cult does not “purify” anything, but sinclair’s courage to stand up to her isn’t enough to beat her either. canto iii still doesn’t end in a victory. dante and the sinners barely survive. it’s only through demian (and k-corp’s) divine intervention that the sinners and kromer don’t destroy each other in the corpse pit.

in the most recent addition, canto iv appears to do the same thing. on one hand, you have the devotion to a principle shown through shrenne, samjo, and donbaek. their causes are different, but their devotion is the same. on the other, there is the cynicism, indifference, and escapism of yi sang and dongrang, both willingly complicit in the machine in different ways. and yet — none of them make any positive difference. whether they resisted or submitted, the machine grinds on around them — the only choices are to become a cog in it or be ground to bits by its gears.

to be clear, i do not think the game is arguing that none of these individual actions matter. even if gregor couldn’t rescue yuri, even if rodya couldn’t protect her neighbors, even if sinclair couldn’t defeat kromer and all that she stood for, even if the league of nine members each failed to realize their ideals — limbus argues that it matters they tried. it matters that they’re still trying. it may never be possible to oust the corporate overlords and make the city a better place, but the love still matters.

#canto four spoilers #canto iv spoilers #canto iv #THIS IS ILL THOUGHT OUT SORRY #bad metaposting moments #i just need it Out my brain or ill Esplode #limbus company

[fiendishartist2]

whats going on up there

#sorry but i thought this was so funny last night #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #ace attorney #apollo justice #klavier gavin #klapollo #the compositions kinda fucked but idc i need fun art to not think about #i have design classes for the next week and a half so get ready for whatever comes out of me #my illnesses are about to get soooo bad lol

[1kari]

please help me by reblogging ‼️

hello im dylan. i make what money i can through doordashing but that barely covers even half of my bills and nowhere else will hire me rn (slow season in a tourist town). my car payment and car insurance are both scheduled to come out of my bank acct today and i barely have enough to cover the $135 in my checking account leaving me to have to use my credit card for my $150 car insurance. i also really need to buy groceries and get gas which i desperately need to keep working.

i currently am over $1000 in debt on my credit card and i really can’t afford to keep piling up the bills on it. the monthly fee ($99) for my HRT service just came out as well so i really need at least $400.

$155 (insurance) + $99 (hrt) + $60 (gas) + $100 (groceries) to at least get my credit card back down to only owing $1000. ideally i want to pay that all off but i know there’s no way i’m crowdfunding 1400. thank you guys this isnt terribly urgent but the sooner i can pay it off the better. ❤️

$60 / $400

#im so mad. my fucking car insurance price keeps going up and i dont know why. i dont get tickets i drive safely and make my car payments on #time. but nooo geico says kill yourself fagggot #anyway. of course no pressure to donate as always but sharing would be much appreciated #gonna queue this a bunch sorry in advance #thought i was over this!!! but nope. doordash doesnt pay jack shit either #if i cant figure something out ill have to move in w my mom across the country and id probably just kill myself there so! not ideal

[medicalunprofessional]

#psychonauts #gristol malik #theodore malik #<-Yeah. Hes there #psychonauts 2 spoiler #nightmaretheater #time on canvas: 8 hours #also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger #rips my hair out rips my eyes out #Hi Ugly. Points at him #travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay #you will get my message #as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level. #im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that #(its his parents (he only knows propaganda)) #i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him #kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game #<-once again. Not excusing his actions #also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

#fe warriors three hopes #mercedes von martritz #miklan anschutz gautier #we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it #i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way #so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault) #did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him #no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF #no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how #he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes #who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ? #like that npc stuck with me a while ok #just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now #i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: Cody. Oh sweet sweet, good man Cody. I just don’t think we could be together.

Cody: Oh. Um. Is it because I’m a clone?

Obi-Wan: *trying not to admit that he would literally go insane and either try and steal the whole army, or kill the chancellor if he admitted to his feelings* Well. It’s… a conflict of interests.

Cody: *well versed in Kenobi speak, which is why he knows that doesn’t add up* What?

Anakin: *taking out his headphones ten feet away* He said you guys have conflicting mental illnesses.

Cody: That’s not-

Obi-Wan: No no, that fits the situation pretty well, actually.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #anakin skywalker #clone wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #commander cody #codywan #five minutes later they’re found making out in a closet lol #Obi’s sorry to say he’s just gonna have to steal an army and kill the chancellor #the phrase ‘conflicting mental illnesses’ came to me after I read an ao3 tag that revulsed me so much #it was ‘time travel but not fix it… time travel make it worse actually’ #and I have never read something that disgusted me more #how dare you offend me the only person with correct opinions #but my first thought was ‘oh we seem to be showing signs of conflicting mental illnesses’ #and to this day (like maybe three hours later if that) it’s the best phrase I’ve ever come up with

[arsenicflame]

heres the thing right. i would have taken a death that meant something. i would not have been happy, but if izzy laid down his life protecting one of the crew at least it would have had meaning. but that meant nothing- several characters survive being swarmed by swordsman in this episode, auntie survives an explosion, but the great izzy hands gets taken out by a single bullet that wasnt even properly aimed at him? its cheap and it feels like a slap in the face after the show handled him with such respect at the start of the season.

#i get that theres been a lot of s1 parallels in this season but i think ill be even more angry if this is a fake out like lucius #lucius made sense. they gave izzy a goodbye #nyxtalks #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #sorry i guess i wasnt done #more thoughts likely to come

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

another ghostmaker spread

#hes just so fun to put in silly poses #im really stretching my action pose muscles with this mf #sorry orvies im unwell #ghostmaker #minhkhoa khan #dc #dc fanart #bards dc thoughts #bard draws #ill crank out some dramatic ghostbat stuff at some point probably #its inevitable

[toldentops]

talk about kinoga. NOW.

GAH I JUST THINK THEY ARE SO............. well first of all. they are so cute and handsome. look at them right now

Second of all I have one million feelings about them and it's barely an exaggeration. For those who aren't familiar, Kinoga is one of my beloved splatoon ocs and I think about them all the time. Originally made when I tossed a "what-if" idea about Trito, my first splatoon oc, who was once part of the octarian military, if he runs into one of the old squad members on the surface, and Kinoga was born with the help of @igneouskit. Brainworms ensue. its terminal. check out their toyhouse

(extremely brief rundown for those unfamiliar with splatoon lore the relevant bits are as follows: some octolings are part of a military that were forced underground after a war with the Inklings over land due to rising seas. At some point during the plot, the song Calamari Inkantation is sung by the two idols, which is apparently imbued in the DNA of all creatures and compels octolings to see the surface. In the splatoon 2 DLC, octo expansion, some octolings are recruited by a shady company called Kamabo Co, which entices participants to enroll in tests through a deep sea metro, and offers the "promised land" as a reward. Completing the tests entails collecting parts of a blender, and the "reward" is getting blended into sludge. This sludge can get injected into other octos which causes them to lose their will and consciousness ("sanitization").

timeline-wise much of their story takes place between splat 2, through octo expansion, and is currently in the splat 3 era. When they were still in the military, they ended up hearing the Calamari Inkantation like Agent 8 did. Kinoga and their squad were incredibly close to each other. Unwilling to just up and leave the underground but wanting to give their squadmates a better life, Kinoga hears about Kamabo's "promised land" and wants to seek it out, so they leave the squad to embark on the metros and promises to return. They do not <3 Some of the tests make them encounter sanitized octolings and they begin to question what's really happening in the metros. Their tipping point is when they run into Agara, one of their squadmates that decided to enter the metros to look for Kinoga and ends up being sanitized. Kinoga, facing the crushing realization that their squadmates had followed them, unaware of the danger, narrowly escapes being killed by Agara and eventually makes it to the surface.

This results in them experiencing a good amount of crushing guilt about leaving, they never knew it would lead to the possibility of dooming their whole squad that followed after them because they were loved and trusted. Kinoga had no way of letting the rest of them know that they should turn back and it's so. AAUGH. They have no choice but to continue on, finding life on the surface and eventually making it to splatsville with the belief that the rest of the squad may be gone. Agara and Trito end up running through the metro, Agara gets sanitized and Trito survives, albeit without getting a nasty scar from an accident that nearly got him sanitized.

Trito makes me insane also. he's my funny silly rabbit. I care about him so so much. trito goes through the metros, to maybe catch up with kinoga or meet them at the promised land, trusting that it was worth leaving if Kinoga decided it was worth it for all of them too.

Trito, upon learning about The Horrors in the metro later, realizes what could have happened to Kinoga and Agara and is unwilling to return to the rest of the squad with this knowledge, struck by the possibility that they're both gone. <-also has to realize that these horrible things have been happening to all the octlings that left to go do the metro tests. He too, eventually escapes to the surface and makes it to Inkopolis.

Years later, Trito, on a day trip to Splatsville, encounters Kinoga on the streets, and they lock eyes. and. fuck. They thought they were dead and had dealt with the grief and accepting that they were gone, effectively pushing those thoughts aside, and now they're physically in front of each other and they have to deal with it again. they make me SICK. Kinoga knowing that trito went to the metros and followed them and made it out also. Trito knowing that Kinoga experienced the horrors as well and survived. Neither of them able to return to tell the rest of the squad but they're both here, alive on the surface and aarrghhhhhhh. now they have to cope with this. they hastily exchange contact information, having to leave each other again, and end up meeting later to really catch up.

I'm so normal about kinoga and their relationship to trito post-domes. They don't even realize that they miss each other so much because they accepted that they were already gone. Seeing how much the other had changed. Being each other's only tie to their previous lives and it dawns on them that they never can move on from this. Kinoga struggles to tell Trito that they couldn't bring themselves to go back, not knowing if they could escape a second time, not knowing if any of their teammates were still left, already dealing with occasional spurts of being wracked by grief. Trito feeling the same, wanting to forget the terrible things and find happiness on the surface, but disheartened when learning that Kinoga also couldn't bring themselves to go back to look (though now that the both of them are together.....they do eventually muster the courage to go back to the domes to look for their old squadmates). It like. sucks so bad. They didn't intend to abandon their squad, but they were given circumstances where they just could not, and none of the other squad members could have known and suffer for it. aarghhhhh.

They end up at Trito's place, Kinoga and Trito end up being very affectionate towards each other after reuniting, definitely Trito being clingier...Compelled to hold onto each other and not let go, not after feeling so much regret about leaving in the first place. It's like. they left once before and terrible things happened out of their control, so they're allowed to hold each other as close as they can so it doesn't happen again (THE DEMONS) (GRIPS). it's irrational for Trito especially to think that he'll never see Kinoga again when they have to leave, since they live in separate cities and have to go in the morning. and kinoga knows it's irrational and they do their best to comfort him anyways because. who could blame him for wanting to keep them there after being gone for so long and so unexpectedly. The slow, crushing experience of not fully registering that someone could be gone and it creeps up to them until it hits. auuuuugh. they have to be so tender with each other, not really knowing where to take things afterwards but relishing in the moment of having each other there. riding the high of each other's comfort. fuck. this post is just getting worse as it goes. Trito breaking down in Kinoga's arms because he's had to hold in his grief and having nowhere to put it and then finally being able to release it. just being able to feel Something again. kinoga feeling so heartbroken to see trito like this, remembering that he was always so outspoken and smiling and having him curled up against them unable to say anything. holding him as tightly as they can. Feeling the need to take good care of him. They aren't his squad leader anymore but they still feel compelled to look out for him because then they can feel like they're doing at least something right. whatever. you guys get the gist. I'm way too much of a sucker for like...............pained intimacy. I'm down terrible. I think both of them deserve a little kissy and more. again. very touchy and affectionate with each other, I guess theyre still like "friends" (A WARRIOR'S BOND. OR WHATEVER) and are not "together" like a couple but here are words from igneouskit who put it better then I could ever. they love each other so much and they make me blow up. worlds most situationship

and also one bit I forgot to mention is that Trito has a huge scar on his chest that he hates talking about, it just brings back the fear and pain felt when he got it, and by association reminds him that he's alone from his squad who may never see again, so he's very protective of it. Upon getting back to kinoga, they do find out about the scar accidentally, and Trito lets them. like auuuugh they were so familiar with each other and now get to see what's changed since the last time. exploring eachother's bodies. whatever

Kinoga also ends up feeling really guilty at some point for Trito being immediately so affectionate towards them, they harbor thoughts that they don’t deserve it after having him go through that pain, and trito having to tell them that he made his own decision, nobody was forcing him to go, and besides, did it to see kinoga and now that they’re right in front of him he can give him all the love he’s been holding for them. Auuughhhh. Like don’t worry about feeling guilty for it. It wasn’t their fault. What matters to him now is that they’re both alive and with each other. I feel like blowing up

Even after Kinoga goes back to splatsville the next day trito is still aches about them......like a few days of reunion could never be enough to compensate for the years that they spent apart. every time they meet up after that trito jumps in kinoga's arms and kiss them like it was the first time they'd reunited

anyways. they eventually go back down to the domes to find the others. By that time, Agent 8 had dismantled Kamabo, the Sludge shit was no longer in operation, and octolings have started going to the surface. Kanu, another squad member, left the domes to find Kinoga, Agara, and Trito(jilon was another squad member who left for reasons I haven't decided yet). Denchu, the last remaining member, stayed behind, holding on to the hope that the missing members would someday return (denchu is a whole other can of worms. theyre everything to me and I feel so terrible for them <3). Trito and kinoga meet denchu, they update them on everybody else, leaving agara unaccounted for. Kinoga, who was the only one to see Agara firsthand, knowing that she might be completely unsalvageable, hesitates to bring it up, but Trito insists on going to look for her. aughhh. kinoga wants to spare trito the pain of seeing her dead or unconscious. They do eventually find her </3

She is alive, but not doing well at all, Kinoga desperate to maybe find some way to undo sanitization and restore her to full health, knowing full well that it may not be possible. They take Agara back with them to the surface and Kinoga spends a lot of time agonizing again over having caused this, feeling that agara's state is somehow their fault (ITS NOTT they're beating themselves up so bad for this because they feel responsible for the squad. aughhh).

I think thats all I have for kinoga. for now. obviously there are more thoughts I can get into but currently my brain has just latched so hard on trito and kinoga's fun situation and I love them so much. didn't think I'd get attached to them this bad but here we are </3. I hope everyone who has read this far also enjoys them as much as I do

#THIS TOOK FOREVER TO TYPE. KEPT GGETTING SELF CONSCIOUS ABT HOW MUCH IVE ALREADY TYPED FOR THEM IN OTHER POSTS #my ocs #my art #trito #kinoga #splatoon #splatoon ocs #THEYRE SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I have been so crazy about them. so crazy. this post doesnt even encapsulate all my thoughts about them #basic arc(?) in chronological order and some thoughts also #cant even describe the like. aching. burning. thinking about kinoga #like I need to kiss them of course but (AGONIES) trito misses them so so much. #loves them so so much and has to deal with it when it floods him all at once during the first encounter #sorry if none of this is like. comprehensible #I've been so ill about them and trito for weeks #these thoguhts are usually for rotating them in discord servers but you all get to get blasted by them all at once #STRUGGLED so bad to write this out because every time I had a new thought I had to go lie down and think about it #anyways. anyways. care about them so much. what ever #its still mostly about trito since he's like my 'main' character but kinoga still gets roped into these feelins #also joked that if trito ever gets a partner itll be like #'this is my partner' #'and this is my friend kinoga who id die for and trust with my life and kiss on the mouth' #more realistically trito just loves all his friends as closely as he would a partner. he has so much love in his heart #blows up I just reread this I think I used ‘crushing’ as an adjective like 4 times. whatever

[punkstylerecovery]

Something that a lot of people really don't understand about having OCD or psychosis or just intrusive thoughts is how violent and/or disgusting the inside of your mind can feel and how scary that can be. It can make you want to hide everything about yourself, afraid that somehow some detail could give away what's inside your head or even afraid you might "contaminate" other people because of what your brain does.

That fear can lead to you lying to doctors, which is understandable because doctors can be truly awful to people like us, and that can lead to us not getting mental healthcare for the shame and fear we carry around, not to mention anything else we deal with.

That fear is often reinforced when we try to tell people and they react badly. A lot of the things inside my head aren't things you're "supposed" to think, much less say out loud and people aren't kind about that. People on the internet will even accuse people talking about their intrusive thoughts of being predators or abusers or claim we "should be in jail" just for things we don't even choose to think.

This includes thoughts about attacking people, murder, rape, sex, saying offensive things, ect, ect. Its normal to me, in a way, how violent my thoughts can randomly be but that took a long time and I'm still scared of myself. I'm still scared to tell people. I used to think I was a monster when I was little, somehow evil because I couldn't control my brain.

I wish more people had even basic knowledge about things like this. I think it's something children should be taught about, so that less of us grow up scared of our brains in the way I was, so that less people treat us like shit because they don't understand what we deal with.

We need to kill this ableism/sanism with fire because I am so done with it.

#punkstyle #trauma recovery #ok to reblog #ocd #actually psychotic #Psychosis #intrusive thoughts #ableism #sanism #mad punk #disability #actually disabled #actually mentally ill #Sorry this is lonf #ive been trying to write this post #for ages #and I kept getting stuck #so I just let go of the worry #vomited it out #and now I'm hoping for the best lol #Pls be kind

[rapidhighway]

Not enough possession in sonic we gotta change that

#broooo #my brains not been right for a while rn but when im normal again i hope ill do it #as a casgirl and a meggirl i feel i have to do it #i have to get someone possessed #i will give them the teen wolf s3 moment istg #i hope #I've been so out out if recentlyyyyy i really want to make somethinggg #my thoughts are a jumbled mess rn ok #but whatever #scrapnik island almost gave it to me #also have yall seen son1c's prime au with the boscage maze? perfection #i need demons in sonic im so sorry

[bluesylveon2]

Just a normal day in the guest room....

Wait.

WHO IS LETTING LILIA COOK?!?!

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst meme #its me apparently lol #anyways i was trying to figure out where to put Lilia and then I thought “wouldnt it be funny to put him in the kitchen area” #jade was supposed to be there but tbh he would let lilia go instead #ill figure out a spot for him later lol #my rating will stay in the 1k tho because SORRY I DONT LIKE THROWING RANDOM STUFF ON THE GROUND TWST #they probably have to be from the same collection too but oh well #i like practicality over random stuff #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia

[ohshy]

Royal army art bc the nation (population: 3) is starving

#punch out #punch out!! #punch out wii #king hippo #von kaiser #almost old men yaoi #theyre both just slightly too young to b old men yaoi #old men yaoi starts at 50 n not a year younger sorry i dont make the rules #monkey brain draws #kaiser needs to stand on his tip toes to kiss hippo #n hippo needs to duck down #they make me ill (affectionate) #theyre so cute. i need to take a sledge hammer to them. #do u think hippo is jealous of kaisers nose #yknow that gif of the kitten sleeping on the bulldogs back #thats them. thats their dynamic. #so many thoughts #anyway <3

[ourfag]

Forgive my asking, but what are you meant to do if you find hair in your food at a restaurant? Send the whole thing back to the kitchen? I'd of course send my food back over something larger or grosser, like a nail clipping, or multiple pieces of hair, but it seems like such a hassle for just one piece.

#art tag #sorry SORRY IM SORRY i had to. i saw it and i had to #serious answer im like 80% sure sending food back over 1 hair is generally thought to be reasonable. mileage may vary from person to person #i def understand being reluctant to do it. i am too i rly dont like the prospect of sending my food back im not sure ive ever done it #its been a VERY long time sice i set foot in a restaurant though. i think everyones got different thresholds for this stuff #like if i find a hair embedded in my banana bread im like ok kinda gross but not a huge deal bc thats been cooked #hair in fries ill just avoid eating the fries i saw touching the hair #hair in fettucini alfredo…….. now we got a promblem. #unsanitary #? does this warrant an unsanitary tag? #i feel like maybe once upon a time stede could have been grossed out by 1 food hair. and then he had kids

[ihavesomejays]

scum vidyadhara's self-saving system legitimately these two are the most rendered characters i've ever drawn and idk how to feel about that. anyways i'll be dropping some doodle comics about this au sometime soon and if you do draw or write svsss renheng tag me i need to see it im so ill about the thought of shizun!dan heng

closeups under keep reading

#artwork #digital art #doodle #art #rkgkillust #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr fanart #illustration #blade #hsr blade #dan heng #hsr dan heng #renheng #bladeheng #svsss #svsss au #shizun!dan heng #btw yanqing is liu qingge in this one. sorry liushenners #dan feng = shen jiu #dan heng = shen yuan #yingxing = pre-abyss binghe #blade/ren = post-abyss binghe #demons are yaoshi's abominations #yes kafka is sha hualing and firefly is mobei-jun (hear me out k) #the comics coming soon will explain what im cooking #dw i won't ungay kafka and firefly #so ill about the thought of yingxing going a little feral over his shizun #scum vidyadhara's self-saving system

[aroanthy]

trying to write something about how much i hate the ‘misandry in utena/the utena fandom’ crowd but it feels kind of redundant to me. i think i just don’t consider people who use the word ‘misandry’ serious people. i do however feel an obligation to occasionally make my position clear on that front, because im aware i tougapost and some people love to bring that guy up as the misandry in the utena fandom poster boy. which is so fucking stupid because touga is not victimised by ‘misandry’, touga is victimised by homophobic violence which is wrapped up in misogynistic violence, both of which are the cogs in the machine we call patriarchy. touga is not affected by misogyny in the same way that anthy is, that’s one of the key takeaways you can get from their being foils, and i don’t really like the whole ‘oh patriarchy hurts men too’ stuff because it neglects the fact that men reap so many material benefits from what some people deem ‘harm’ to them (emotional repression being the big one. it’s not great but when you’re the privileged party and gain power from it, who cares? it’s like the inverse of kozue trying to use sexuality to gain power: she can’t do that). but touga is a shitty dysfunctional person who has been shaped by violence and in turn perpetuated violence, and his character excels, imho, at examining how patriarchy functions and attempts to homogenise life’s many complexities. same deal as nanami really. they just play different roles in this gender essentialist nightmare that crunches out any grit. and you can extend that idea to all rgu characters but i am who i am and that is a kiryuu siblings enjoyer

#i always say that tougaheads are either the stupidest or wisest utena fans #you know are you blorbo-ifiying him in a way that would stab anthy to death with a million swords imbued with human hatred #or are you considering his character in all his awfulness and complexity and attempting to internalise the things you can learn from him?? #don’t have the energy for complex thoughts tonight and yet ive written all this out #sorry for the brain fart #one day ill write this shit out properly with all my transfeminist theory properly cited #but for now i will half remember passages from whipping girl and gesture hysterically at himemiya anthy my best friend himemiya anthy #and also occasionally try to convince people that touga’s perspective is interesting to consider #i mean it’s horrific and maddening and frequently deeply uncomfortable and to be clear as a person?? hate that guy #but. oh i don’t know. oh i don’t know. extending compassion towards him helped me a lot personally #he anthy and nanami all mean more to me than i can really express #and i think none of them should ever speak to each other ever again #maybe anthy is allowed one run in with both of them separately. and she gets to dunk on them. but maybe not #ANYWAY! #dais.txt