#You're fucking with us right now Colin

[regulusrules]

oh my fuck, he does know how to play an obsessive lover, doesn't he?

#You're fucking with us right now Colin #right? RIGHT?? #colin morgan #merlin #john webster #bbc merlin #the killing kind

[incorrectbatfam]

Does the Batfamily use Damian's activities to reject invitations they don't want to go to?

Example: "I really would love to go on your planet/dimension but I promised Damian I would help him bath the batcow this weekend"

Or "the little one has a school project and I'll help him, I gonna be busy that night"

And something?

Bruce, on the phone: Sorry, I'm afraid I can't make it to your gala. Damian suddenly came down with a fever. You know how it is with the bug going around.

Damian: Father, I feel fine—

Bruce, covering the phone: Shush, I'm doing us a favor.

———————

Barbara: Hey, Damian got a concussion on patrol and I'm babysitting. Raincheck?

Damian: But Gordon—

Barbara: *shoos him away*

———————

Kate: I'll be late, I'm taking Damian to a root canal.

Damian: My teeth are perfectly healthy—

Kate: *muffles him with her jacket*

———————

Dick: I have to cancel. My little brother needs me right now. He's going through some tough times and I'm the closest he has to a friend.

Damian: *video calling Jon, Colin, Maya, Maps, Kathy, Billy, and Suren with the pets on camera*

———————

Steph: Heya boss, my brother just broke his leg and I need to take him to the ER. I need someone to cover my shift.

Damian: *roundhouse kicks a training dummy*

Steph: Damian, keep it down!

———————

Jason: Why I'm not gonna train the new henches? Because my brother has fucking chicken pox! Yes, you heard me right, assface. I don't care who you get as long as the orientation is done.

Damian: *has a band-aid from his booster shot*

———————

Cass: Can't dance. Baby brother needs food. Parents not home. He hasn't eaten in a week.

Damian: *devouring his second vegan sandwich*

———————

Selina: Sorry girls, my stepson's cat just died. Maybe next time.

Damian: *playing with Alfred the cat*

———————

Duke: Damian, I need you to cover for me. I'm supposed to make up a quiz but it's the Riddler again.

Damian: What story are you going with?

Duke: How about... you're stuck in the rain and I need to pick you up?

Damian: It's sunny.

Duke: Please just go with it. I'll take you to the arcade after.

Damian: *pours water on himself*

Damian, completely monotone: Oh no, I've been abandoned by my parental figures.

———————

Tim, to his secretary: Tell the board I'm canceling all my meetings this week. No one's seen my brother since yesterday and the police are now involved.

Damian: *standing next to him*

———————

Damian: *playing video games in the living room*

Alfred: Master Damian, why aren't you at school?

Damian: According to everyone else, I am experiencing a fever, concussion, tooth damage, emotional instability, broken leg, chicken pox, chronic starvation, the loss of a pet, getting stuck in a downpour, and going missing. I don't think I'm able to attend classes in such a state.

#damian wayne #robin #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #kate kane #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #headcanon #tw sick mention #tw swearing #tw food mention

[hopefulromances]

Could you write something for Jamie about his gf surprising him at an away match? 🫶🏻

THank you for requesting!! Super cute!!

This had to go perfect. All the time planning with Keeley to get seperate flights, separate car, all this secrecy and planning to avoid Jamie finding out any detail of the surprise.

It was Richmond's first game against Man City for the season. Last time Jamie had played against Man City it had been one of the greatest games of his career. Not only creating a beautiful assist for Colin but also scoring a solo goal himself, on a bum ankle no less.

For the first time, his mum would be coming with his stepfather, now that his father was in rehab. You were the only one who couldn't come. Or so he thought. So you had told him repeatedly.

"It would just be nice 'n all," he murmured, resting his head on your chest.

"I know, I know," you agreed, running your hands through his hair. It had gotten so long, he could almost pull it back into a ponytail. "I'm really sorry, I tried to get off."

"I know you did," he sighed. He was wrapped around you like a koala, face shoved into your chest. "Just would be nice."

And it was going to be nice. There was no way you would be missing this game.

You found Keeley at Will Call, decked out in Richmond gear, ribbons woven into your hair, Jamie's name and number on your back.

"Ah! Look at you!" Keeley shrieked as she saw you. "He is going to flip!"

"Thank you so much for all your help, Keels," You grinned and pulled her into a hug. "You're the best friend either of us could ask for."

"Alright, let's get you up to the booth."

Seeing the game from the booth was incredible. The view was perfect and there was booze within 10 ft. But the best part of the whole day was seeing Jamie play.

You'd seen him play before but everytime it took your breath away. He was always ten steps ahead of everyone else. Ten passes towards the goal that no one else was aware of. And god he looked good while doing it.

It was a stellar game, a great match ending in a 3-2 tie with Jamie scoring a beautiful goal during injury time. You'd burst out of your seat and cheered, joining the Richmond fans in the crowd in chanting his name! Jamie Tartt doo doo do do du doo!

You were there waiting for him in the hallway. There standing, hands clasped together in excitement as the lads came off the field, high on their victory. But when he saw you, the whole world stopped.

He rounded the corner, chatting with his arm around Sam when he spotted you. He froze, forcing Sam to stop as he followed Jamie gaze. You waved at him, shyly. Then he broke into the brightest grin and he bounded to wards you.

You opened your arms and let him scoop you up, spinning in circles.

"Jamie!" You cried, giggling in his arms. "You absolute genius."

He set you down just in time to pull you into a deep kiss. He was disgusting. Sweaty and gross after playing for 90 minutes on the field but, god, did he taste good.

"Thank you for coming," He breathed out. "Can't believe you're here."

"Did you really think I would miss this?" You assured him, pressing your forehead to his. "Never."

Jamie kissed you again, peppering your face with his lips. You laughed again, trying to duck away from him but you couldn't get far.

"And you look- fucking- mint- babe," he continued, pausing between each word to press another kiss to your face.

"Oi, Tartt!" Isaac called from the locker room. "Come get changed so we can fucking celebrate!"

Jamie looked over his shoulder. "I'll be right there."

He turned back to you, brushing your hair out of your face, like he still couldn't believe you were there.

"You'll come right? You're not gonna leave?" He checked, trying not to show his insecurity."

"I'm not going anywhere," you reassured him, pulling him back for one last kiss. "Now go get change, you fucking stink."

You pushed him away from you, laughing as he stumbled dramatically.

"Yes, ma'am!" He saluted you before scurrying back to the locker room, being met with cheers from the team.

Oh, god, you were glad he was yours.

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso #anonymous #hopefulromances requests

[ofstarsandvibranium]

if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰

(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)

You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.

As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.

Your love life? Weeeell...

Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.

So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.

"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.

"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."

"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"

"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."

Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."

"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.

A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."

"He's available."

"It'll be weird!"

"No, it won't!"

"Isn't he a dickhead?"

"Not as much anymore!"

Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."

Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."

"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.

"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"

"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.

"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."

Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"

Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."

Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."

You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"

_____________________

"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.

Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"

"You're not seeing anyone right?"

"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.

"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.

Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."

Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."

"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"

"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."

To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?

"Fuck it. Sure."

Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

_______________

You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.

"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.

You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"

"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."

"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.

Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.

You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"

You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.

"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.

"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."

He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"

Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"

Jamie nods, "He said he would."

You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"

You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."

It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.

"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.

You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."

Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"

You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."

Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."

"Thanks," you murmur.

Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.

"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."

Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."

"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.

He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."

"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."

"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."

And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"

"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.

"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.

"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."

"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."

You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."

"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."

Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.

You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"

"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.

#jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader

[letgomaggie]

All my bridgerton thoughts, compressed:

1. The true love story is definitely Penelope and Eloise. No matter how hard they try, they cannot pivot away from the fact that friendship is the heart of this season. Be it between Penelope and Eloise, or Eloise and Cressida, or Penelope and Colin: it is that which drives this particular season.

2. To add to the above point: Colin may be Penelope's love interest, but it is Eloise who understands her. Eloise asks if Penelope seems despondent or sad - not just a simple is she okay but instead here are things she could be, which one is it? She knows her friend, no matter what. And Colin, for all that he is, does not find it all too startling that Penelope is suddenly looking for marriage. Eloise does. If Colin's eyes follow Pen across the ballroom, so do Eloise's.

3. Eloise has someone to talk to about the effect her friendship breakup is taking on her. Penelope has no one. I find Nicola to be an increasingly fantastic actor because she holds this tension so very well throughout the whole of Part 1. When Eloise comes to visit her, you see why she asked Colin what Penelope was feeling. Because Penelope is feeling that, has been feeling that ever since. Its so raw and on her face for the world to see but only one person ever looked and understood and read her like a book.

4. The two fingers while fixing her dress? Gag me god gag me

5. I have not seen the point of the Mondrich plot until this season which is where they are really using it to root the show to reality. There are conversations to be had that the society simply does not want to and Mondriches are the embodiment of it. Constantly knocking at society's door and making themselves be heard and fighting for a seat at the table but unwilling to compromise on what feels good and right. It's subtle and ita frustrating and I like that it's getting to people. You're going to get annoyed enough that the looking glass metaphor will play out in real life for you.

6. I see how unhinged Colin is being about Penelope and while I love that for her, I also get how fucked up her situation is rn. She does need stability. She has found her purpose. And I want her to be selfish in protecting that bit of herself. Instead of what she has been doing. She tried with Debling and yes, it was vexing to see how she ran after him but. I get it too? It's not always roses and camomiles. Cressida is the foil to this same narrative. The Bridgertons are foolishly romantic but that is just them. The show is through their lens but we can take a step back and see it for it is as well. I found Debling to be perfect and his reasons for ending everything were as well. If a little crassly done. Colin proposing to Penelope and falling headfirst in love just as she starts looking out for herself? My heart still needs to be sold on this idea, no matter how hot and sexy everything is.

7. The hair grab oh. Colin Bridgerton you slut. You whore. Colin Bridgerton would like to be pegged I promise. These two will actually be the couple who try out shit in the bedroom out of intrigue and discover a hidden kink. Colin finding the answer to his pent up ruminations when Penelope drags her hand tenderly through his hair vs Penelope close to tears because it is a dream come true and how many times has she imagined this and now its happening and its all that and more? Fucking yes

8. The diaries intrigue me. I shit you not I started this season with the firm belief that Colin had in fact NOT travelled lasts season because he was being all quiet about it. End of Ep 1 and I am now convinced he only really wants to talk if people listen and the only one who ever listened was Pen and if she's not there to hear him what is the point of speaking? He functions on 0 braincells because like. He has all the facts he's just not looking at them.

9. Someone talked of how they want to know more about Colin because he's been coming off as 2D and I agree. This is being told more from Penelope's view than Colin's and that is skewing the narrative a bit. I need more than 'pirate fashion-current rake-newly minted fuckboy' from him.

10. I like the yellow bedsheet.

11. The opening with the pining looks from Pen towards Eloise really set the mood and I'm so glad for it. For that matter I feel like Colin's apology for the comment last season was rushed and half hearted and I understand the hot and heavy vibes but they are friends first and that is the heart of the season and so much, so fucking much is left unresolved and I need them to have a couple of heated conversations PLEASE. express emotions fr!!! Beyond breathing hard!!

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton season 3 spoilers #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #ya these are straight up unfiltered y'all i may have more thoughts coming soon

[bridgertonbabe]

With the spouse groupchat I’m guessing the Pictionary Incident was Sophie’s first experience at game night? I’m wondering if she and Benedict may have had an advantage on everyone else given Benedict’s artistic skills. Or if his siblings were prepared for this and it (as expected) lead to more chaos.

BSSG Group Chat

Simon has added Sophie to the chat.

Simon: Welcome Sophie.

Kate: Hey 🙋🏾

Sophie: Hi?

Kate: You're now the newest member of the Bridgerton Spouses Support Group GC!

Sophie: But I'm not a spouse?

Simon: Yeah but you will be soon enough and after what happened last night you've essentially earned your place here.

Kate: Exactly! And congrats on the engagement! 🤗

Sophie: Wait what?

Simon: We figured you guys were keeping it quiet but Ben let the cat out of the bag by referring to you as his fiancee when we were sitting with him. I'm sure you wanted to do a proper announcement and everything but don't worry we'll keep it under wraps for now.

Kate: Yeah we promise, I haven't breathed a word of it to Anthony.

Simon: Same with Daph, your secret's safe with us.

Simon: And congratulations, of course

Sophie: So the thing is Ben and I aren't engaged. He probably only called me his fiancee because of all the morphine he was on, I'm sure he's just confused and delirious.

Kate: Oh shit are you serious?

Sophie: Well I'd think I'd know if I was engaged, it's not something that happens very often.

Sophie: So sorry for the misunderstanding x

Sophie has left the chat.

Simon has added Sophie to the chat.

Simon: Hey just because you're not engaged right this second doesn't mean you can't be in the chat!

Kate: Yeah I mean it's definitely going to happen sooner or later.

Simon: And like I said after last night you've cemented your place not just in this chat but in the family too.

Kate: How's Ben doing? Are you still at the hospital with him?

Sophie: He's ok, he's asleep at the moment. Hopefully by the time he comes round he won't be in as much pain.

Simon: Well that's good to hear.

Sophie: Is Anthony ok?

Kate: Lol yeah he'll be just fine don't you worry.

Sophie: Look guys as kind as you've been there's not really much point in having me in the chat. Once Ben wakes up and he's not so high on the morphine I'm going to end things. It's been really nice knowing you both, you're both so lovely and I wish you all the best x

Sophie has left the chat.

Simon: WHAT THE FUCK

Kate has added Sophie to the chat.

Kate: Sophie wtf are you talking about?!?!!

Simon: What do you mean you're ending things with Ben?

Kate: You're perfect for each other I don't understand?!?!?!

Sophie: Because of everything that happened last night?

Kate: Yeah what about it?

Sophie: ...

Sophie: I punched Anthony and gave him a black eye?

Simon: So?

Sophie: ...

Sophie: So????? What do you mean so? Why the hell would Ben want to stay with me after I punched Anthony and slapped Colin?

Kate: Sophie are you serious? That was hands down the most iconic thing that's ever happened at a Bridgerton game night.

Simon: I honestly thought Ben had proposed to you as a direct result from you putting those idiots in their places.

Sophie: Look even if Ben was for some reason won over by my behaviour, I don't see Violet welcoming me into the fold after hurting two of her sons and I don't see the rest of the family being impressed by what I did.

Simon: But Violet was completely on your side! We all were!

Kate sent a photo

Kate: That's a still from the video Hy took of you bitch slapping Colin.

Kate sent a photo

Kate: And that's the still Eloise has already had printed and framed that's now sitting proudly on the mantlepiece.

Simon: Sophie the rest of them would throw a parade for you if they could. They're completely enamoured by you.

Kate: More so than they already were.

Sophie: That's... ok I don't really know how to take that. That's not a normal response from witnessing violence.

Simon: No it's a perfectly normal response from witnessing justified violence.

Kate: And Sophie speaking as Anthony's wife; he did deserve it.

Sophie: I just don't think Anthony or Colin would want me to keep dating Ben.

Simon: Sophie let me assure you now they won't hold it against you. If anything they'll have gained respect for you.

Sophie: I severely doubt that.

Kate: Look Sophie you taught them a very valuable lesson that it's not ok to intentionally slam a mini keg of beer down on Ben's hand just because he was thrashing them at Pictionary.

Simon: And just like you and Violet were screaming at them, they could have genuinely done lasting damage and Ben would have been buggered from ever doing his art again. They had to be told and hand on heart physically assaulting them was truly the only way to get that through their thick skulls.

Kate: Plus it doubled as a valuable teaching lesson for them and the rest to never mess with Ben and especially never to fucking mess with you.

Sophie: Look even that aside I don't think it's going to work out between Ben and I. I really wound him up even before the keg incident and when he wakes up and the painkillers have worn off I expect he won't want to keep things going either so we may as well just cut our losses. Again I really appreciate all your kind words, it's been nice knowing you x

Sophie has left the chat.

Kate: Oh for fuck's sake.

Simon has added Penelope to the chat.

Simon has added Sophie to the chat.

Simon: Sophie don't leave this chat again, you got that?

Kate: Yes just please stay fucking put.

Sophie: Ok?

Penelope: Hello? 👀

Simon: Hey Pen welcome to the Bridgerton Spouses Support Group GC. Seeing as you've known them the longest we need your expert insight to assure Sophie that nothing should be taken to heart from the family during game nights.

Penelope: omg Sophie please don't let last night scare you off!

Penelope: yes they all go batshit but it's only game nights that set them off I swear!

Simon: And Pall Mall.

Penelope: well yeah basically anything competitive they turn into a bunch of crazy nutzos, it runs in the family

Penelope: and I totally get that Daphne and Eloise getting into a spitting fight would have been very off-putting to witness and Hy chucking her drink over Fran and Greg was uncalled for but they're truly only at their collective worst when they're competing against each other

Sophie: Oh don't worry I very much got the picture that they're all unhinged when it comes to playing games 😩

Sophie: It's just that after Ben got so mad at me and shouted at me in front of everyone, I don't know if I'm what he wants any more.

Kate: Omg Sophie it was only in the heat of the moment of the game, it's not that deep.

Sophie: Kate my own boyfriend dumped me from his team and recruited you instead because my drawings were "abominably shit". He literally couldn't even look at me from that point on, he was that frustrated with me.

Kate: Yeah but in his defence Soph your drawings were particularly abysmal. I still don't know how you managed to fuck up a starfish the way that you managed to. Honestly I was going to yell at you for that one but Ben beat me to it.

Simon: Soph please pay no mind to Kate, she's not much better than the family when it comes to game nights.

Kate: Hey! I'm just being honest with her!

Penelope: Sophie please don't take how Ben reacted to heart! I swear he's actually one of the milder Bridgertons during game nights, it's only because Pictionary is his game to lose that he lost his cool last night otherwise he wouldn't have ever spoken to you like that

Sophie: I get where you guys are coming from and I don't want to be so overly sensitive but he's never once raised his voice to me and I never thought he would.

Penelope: the last time we played Pictionary do you know who Ben snapped at and ditched from his team because they weren't meeting his impossibly high standards?

Penelope: his own mum

Kate: Omfg

Simon: Holy shit

Penelope: I never thought he'd ever talk to Violet like that since he's such a mummy's boy but Pictionary ignites something very ugly in him that nobody's safe from, even those he loves most

Simon: See Soph! Don't let Ben being a psychotic competitive Bridgerton get to you! It's not worth ending your relationship over!

Penelope: WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Penelope: omg you're not seriously thinking of breaking up with him are you??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Kate: Seriously you can't Sophie!

Penelope: you make him so happy Sophie, he's been on cloud 9 ever since you've been together

Simon: You're part of the family now Soph. Even if you wanted to leave they wouldn't let you.

Kate: We wouldn't let you.

Penelope: Sophie they all adore you, I hear nothing but them singing your praises. El says you're the best thing that's ever happened to Ben - I seriously don't know what he'd do if you broke up with him, I don't think he'd recover

Simon: Violet's been foaming at the mouth for months now for Ben to propose

Simon: In fact Violet was the one who picked Pictionary to play because she wanted you to be super impressed by Ben at your first game night

Simon: And yes admittedly it might have massively backfired but it just proves how desperately Violet doesn't want Ben to lose a partner like you!

Kate: He has a ring!!!!!!!!!!

Kate: Why'd you think we didn't even question him calling you his fiancee?!?!?!?! We thought he had finally popped the question!!!!!!!!

Sophie: Wait

Sophie: He's got a ring?

Simon: Kate

Kate: I had to tell her Simon!!!! We can't let her sucking at Pictionary be the reason she breaks things off when he's literally about to propose!!!!!!!!

Sophie: You're not just saying that are you?

Kate: I was literally there when he asked Violet for his grandmother's ring! And remember the other week when we had a girls night and Fran asked to try on one of your rings? That was how we figured out your ring size and Fran went with Ben to the jewellers to get his grandmother's ring resized so it'd be a perfect fit for you!

Simon: Way to ruin the surprise.

Kate: Hey Ben will thank me for saving his relationship instead of letting her dump him because she hasn't got a thick enough skin for game nights!

Penelope: just for the record it doesn't matter how thick a skin you have - a Bridgerton game night will unsettle and unnerve just about anyone from outside the fam who takes part

Penelope: (not including Kate obvs)

Sophie: I can't believe it, he wants to marry me? He really wants to marry me?

Kate: Yes!!!!!!!!!!

Sophie: And you think he still would after last night?

Simon: Sophie he'd want to marry you even more after last night. I'm pretty sure in spite of the pain he was enduring from his hand being crushed that he was also quite turned on from you beating up his brothers and berating them.

Penelope: it definitely turned me on

Kate: Same here.

Simon: So please swear you won't end things with him when he wakes up

Sophie: Don't worry I won't.

Kate: Also I'd greatly appreciate if you didn't spoil your own engagement or let slip that I gave you the heads up about it

Sophie: Rest assured I won't ruin the element of surprise.

Simon: And also don't you dare try leaving this chat again. You're here now and for the forseeable, you got that?

Sophie: I promise 😇 x

Penelope: well it looks like my work here is done 👐

Penelope has left the chat.

Sophie: Oh that's a shame. I thought Pen would stay as well considering she'll marry in too.

Simon: Ah I know but I understand her not feeling comfortable staying in considering Colin's too dumb to even realise he's in love with her and ask her out.

Sophie: Wait

Sophie: Colin and Penelope aren't actually a couple???????

Kate: Soph don't even get us started.

#asks #group chat au #bridgerton spouses #the lack of memes and gifs are because they only started getting used more prominently with the later additions to the gc

[jamiesfootball]

29 for the whump dialogue prompt perhaps?

"Tell me where it hurts, and be specific."

He doesn't know how it went wrong so fast. He never fucking knows.

"Get him out! Get him out of here right the fuck now!"

He never knew how it was that his dad could ruin everything as quick as upending a box, shaking out the bits of Jamie - smacking the box for good measure to knock out all the stubbornly clinging fists - until he was nothing better than something his dad went and spilled on the floor. A fucking pile of Legos for people to dodge around less the sharp pieces of him prick the the soft padding beneath their feet.

"Everybody, shut up! Jamie, Jamie, bruv, breathe. Breathe. In and out like. Can you do that? Does it hurt?"

It felt like being underwater, it did; or like they were in an indoor pool. Sweat all dried until it was cold and clammy. Everything echoed, a public's worth of voices shouting to be heard over each other ("What did you hold me back for?!" "Me?! You were right there!") while the walls bounced everything back, and over the din came Colin's voice, both muffled and clear- "I heard something snap."

Dr. Sharon was going to be so disappointed with Jamie. Jamie was going to walk back into her office with the crumpled up portions of himself bundled in his arms, and she was going to frown, polite and quiet and judging while Jamie lined up all the pieces in front of her, trying to explain to her what he'd done wrong and begging her to show him how to make it better.

"Beard's got it from here. Him and the boys in security 'll figure it out. Now, how's our- is that blood?"

Because he was a coward, he'd serve the best parts of himself first. The chunk of him that hadn't meant to let any of it happen. The lump that understood how his presence on the pitch led to the team losing. The slice of him that had honestly, stupidly thought his Dad would be so caught up in his own team winning that Jamie's own garbage performance would go unnoticed (amateur thinking to go with amateur playing). The ration of him that hadn't been rational at all - had opened his mouth to argue when he knew better, didn't he, lad? Should know better by now. He hadn't been given the signal. Couldn't be trusted with his own words - had to wait for someone to tell him it was alright, otherwise look what he'd get?

"Tartt? Are you listening?"

He'd show Dr. Sharon the slab of him that wanted to do right by the team, and she'd tilt her head to the side and remark that the slab looked a bit spoiled now, didn't it?

Something brushes his shoulder, a touch so lacking in violence it doesn't register as real.

"Come on. Jamie. You need to let us get a look at you. We need to know where you're hurt."

He never fucking knows.

Something strong grips the back of his neck. There's nothing left of Jamie now; just bundles of raw nerve endings telling him run and hide and the dislocated parts of his body reporting back that they're not capable of either right now. His lungs aren't working right, and there's no running or hiding anymore - there's just smaller. Tugging close the pieces of himself - the broken tiles of himself - and sweeping them close in his arms where they're less likely to get shattered any further. There's retreating, dropping deep into the recess of his head, anything to spare himself from witnessing the ugly spectacle he's made.

The grip on his neck disregards what he wants. Cups the delicate space below his jaw between two hands. Examines him while Jamie flutters in his grasp like a moth avoiding the light.

"Jamie, this is serious. Tell me where it hurts, and be specific. We need to know if we need to get you to hospital."

Point to any piece of him, where his dad's gone and left him on the ground.

"Fuck it, he’s not answering. Somebody get the medics."

#whump prompt #ask box is always open #jamie tartt #fuck jamie's dad #injury #abuse cw #my fic

[faithinchances]

Hit me with more of Roy conned Jamie into being nice and City is mad about it. I remember the concept and am face pressed against glass!

The basics of the original concept from @jamiesfootball are that Roy accidentally puts Jamie on a niceness points system so they can be friends, wherein Jamie gets to be a dick once for every four times he does something nice, with plenty of shenanigans along the way and everything is fun and hilarious until Jamie gets sent back to City which is when I get to make it sad and dramatic (ie, Jamie spends his nice points on his teammates/Pep/everyone else at City, and his dick points on Sr with the predicted results)

Jamie is an asshole at Richmond, in a way which is pretty well on par with the people around him, except that the narrative frames them well and Jamie poorly. Isaac and Colin do the brunt of the on-screen bullying but we're supposed to blame Jamie because he laughs at it. Roy humiliates Jamie by framing his embarassment as the funniest thing Roy has ever seen except that it's okay because Jamie is an asshole. Ted yells at Jamie for being hurt and unable to train, which is cool because Jamie is "obviously" faking an injury to get back at Ted for benching him.

Basically everything and everyone kind of sucked.

Take him out of that and put him in a functional dressing room with a good coach and lower pressure overall, and I don't think Jamie would behave that way. I don't think he ever behaved that way at City.

So Jamie goes back to City, a place where he never was much of a prick to begin with (except to the opposition team, because that is part of the sport), and has a casual identity crisis in the back of every shot.

He is touch-starved, being very very good, and blatantly and obviously anxiety-ridden, and all of this in ways which he hadn't been the year before.

Someone: *gets tackled kind of rough by someone on the other team* Jamie: Pep put me on put me on I will break his ankles and restore our honour Pep: ... no... ... Jamie are you doing okay? Jamie: Yes Pep all is well and good, I am just using a nice point. Pep: I'm going to think about what that means some other time. Jamie on the inside: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

Meanwhile, Jamie is gradually racking up bruises, injuries, and sore spots because he is constantly pushing Sr's buttons so he can pretend that he's still 20% an asshole, and City desperately want to know what Richmond did to their previously nice, normal teammate for him to come back as this clicker-trained attack chihuahua.

(sidenote, I headcanon Jamie as struggling with statistics and numbers games. That he doesn't play FIFA because he worries about how wanting to maximize his ingame stats could negatively affect how he plays in real life. That the only person he's willing to take statistics from are the tactical scouts (a position at a club where you study the upcoming opponent to learn their strategies and tendencies to better prepare the players to face them) because he doesn't want to wind up maximizing his pass completion percentage by no longer taking good risks on through balls or crosses. He's a numbers guy in a way which is sometimes a problem, and is definitely a problem here.)

(a different sidenote, Roy's poor opinion of Jamie was probably a torpedo to his self-confidence. He probably always struggled with both, in some part due to Sr's abuse, but he worshipped Roy. And Roy hated him.)

Hence: an intervention.

Someone, either the captain group (football teams will have ~4 captains with an internal hierarchy, since there has to be a captain on the pitch but no one can actually play every minute of a season) or Pep, sits Jamie down for a chat about how concerned they all are about him and Jamie what is a nice point, what is a prick point, Jamie you were already nice. We already liked you. But right now you're scaring us. You're hurt. Jamie who are you using your prick points on. Jamie? Jamie?

#child abuse tw #ted lasso #jamie tartt #fanfic

[beansprean]

Why is Stu working at a Sunoco in Staten Island, you say? Why don't u mind ya business! God forbid werewolves do anything.

My Familiar's Ghost part 8

Masterpost

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. Wide shot of a Sunoco gas station at night, the pumps empty, an open sign glowing red at the door. In the foreground, Nandor and Colin are walking toward it, backs to the viewer. Colin, now wearing a wool coat, pipes up "Nandor, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer?" Nandor replies shortly, "I am a vampire, Colin Robinson, I cannot get the cancer." Colin responds, "Right. Can't be too careful, though."

2a. Close up of Colin doing a talking head. With a wry smile, he explains, "Yeah, I've been experimenting with early 2000s-based humor." 2b. His voiceover continues over the next panel: "My housemates seem mostly immune, but reminding millennials how old they are provides a remarkably quick drain." Overlayed in sepia, we see Colin in another scene, sitting next to a young woman on a bus. He looks at his phone and remarks, "Huh. Shrek was released 21 years ago today." The woman next to him immediately slumps over and slams her head against the bus window, fully asleep and drooling.

3a. Back at the Sunoco, Nandor and Colin have reached the door. Nandor grins triumphantly, pointing toward a sign that reads "Please come in!" Colin smiles and gives him a thumbs up. 3b. Shot from inside the Sunoco from behind the counter, showing a close up of an employee stocking cigarettes. The employee is a white man in his 40s with lank dark blonde hair and three large pink scars on his forehead and cheek. His name tag says "Stu". He glances over to the side as there is a loud rattling at the door, and offscreen we hear Nandor griping "I thought that would work! Fucking door!" Colin snaps back, "It says push!" Nandor just responds with an "Oh," and the door opens with a ding.

4a. Stu turns around to face the new customers, starting to say "Welcome to-" before Nandor leans in on the counter and cuts him off, wiggling his hand in front of Stu's face. Nandor uses his best hypnosis voice, speech bubble glowing green, to command "Smelly shop worker, you will tell me the whereabouts of the one called Eric-" "Derek," Colin corrects, sidling up to him with a patient smile. "Derek," Nandor finishes. 4b. Reverse shot, extreme closeup of Nandor and Colin in the foreground facing each other, Stu framed between their profiles in the background. Stu looks mildly perturbed but unhypnotized as he replies, "Oh, uh. I'm not allowed to give out employee information." Nandor hisses to Colin, "It's no use! He doesn't want to tell us!" Colin drawls back, "You're really crap at this hypnosis thing, huh?"

5a. Reverse shot, Colin says "Step aside for the pro," and plants a hand on Nandor's chest to move him back, stepping confidently in front to face Stu. Nandor looks ruffled but allows the switch. Colin points upwards and asks, "Say, is that a Panasonic WV-S3131L security camera? I prefer the Argo system myself. You really can't beat the 4K resolution..." 5b. Shot from behind Nandor's head as he waits, Colin and Stu conversing quietly with blank speech bubbles. 5c. Colin turns and rushes back over to Nandor, looking a little panicked as he explains, "Well, that didn't work. He was actually interested in what I was saying!" Nandor puts a hand to his chin thoughtfully and narrows his eyes at Stu, who is standing behind the counter staring at him with a question mark over his head. Nandor declares, "This guy is crafty...we need a new plan." /end ID

#wwdits #my familiars ghost #nandor the relentless #colin robinson #what we do in the shadows fx #what we do in the shadows #nandermo #stu wwdits #my art #fanart #image described

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 36

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

It's not home. You don't really have one of those anymore, but you're relieved to be back at Lloyd's. He diligently perched you on the couch with a dozen pillows and some blankets before he left. The television keeps you company as you snack on caramel corn. The doctor's orders are that you rest and try not to move too much.

It's difficult as you're restless. You usually go for your walk about now or sit in the garden.. The curtains give a peek of the lush green and the blooming tulips Harlan helped you plant. Sigh. You hate feeling like this, helpless. It's probably why you hate Lloyd so much too.

Your life with Colin wasn't the greatest or the easiest, but you had your own job, your own schedule, and you did stuff. You roll up the top of the bag and toss the caramel corn across the distance to the coffee table. You feel nauseous and you're not so sure it's the baby.

You're sick of this life and the one awaiting you in only a few months. You're unprepared for any of it. You might have the best stroller and the best crib, but none of that matters. You aren't at your best, you're not sure you've ever been.

You heave out a loud sigh. You could scream. With Lloyd out of the house, off on whatever errand he lied about, you could do anything you want but you're stuck. Trapped in your own broken body.

Kid, why'd you have to fuck this up even more? You think as you rub your stomach. Just one more problem to add to the heap. You shake your head and groan as you shift on the couch. This can't be real life. The more you think about everything, it feels like one long nightmare. You have to wake up soon, right?

Your spiral into doom is interrupted by the chirp of the gates. You huff. He's back. Already? That was like half and hour. You were hoping for a bit longer. His constant hovering since the doctor's lecture was almost as grating as your slipped disk.

You recline heavily on the pillows and stare at the TV as the audio fuzzes in your ears. Just a little longer and you'll be back on your feet. You can't be stubborn anymore. Not like that.

You hear a car engine and the subsequent steps that stride up the walk and onto the porch. To your surprise, the lock doesn't beep and signal his entrance. Instead, the doorbell rings, echoing around the foyer as you peer over curiously.

Lloyd wouldn't ring his own doorbell, as dumb as he is. So who would it be? Who would have his gate code? Harlan and Dottie, back already? Well, you can't really answer it, can you?

"Come in," you holler as you cup your hand beside your mouth. The effort of your shout aches in your spine. Shit.

The doorbell chimes again. You don't think they heard you. You wiggle and shift but the pang in your hips makes you think better of getting up. You exhale heavily again and gather your strength to yell again.

The doorhandle jiggles and you hold back your voice. They have the gate code but not the door code? Weird.

You brace the arm of the sofa and grunt as you push yourself to a sitting position. You lower your legs over the edge and lean back, breathless. God. Even if you wanted to drag your ass up to let them in, you can't.

You hear some beeping, but not the six short blips that signal the door code. It's a furious steady beeping, like a meter building up, then finally a loud buzz and the winding of the latch as it slides back. The hinges whisper and you crane to glance over the back of the couch.

"Shit, Lloyd," you hear the mutter of an unfamiliar voice, "always make everything so goddamn hard, don't you?"

Soft steps scuff across the foyer as you angle yourself around to better see the unwelcomed guest. A woman with short sandy blonde hair and dark roots appears in the archway as she zips up a black bag slung from her shoulder. Her eyes widen just as yours do.

"Oh, hello?" She stops short.

"Hello," you echo back in confusion.

"Who are you?" She asks with a curled lip.

"Who are you?" You counter back.

"Uhhhhh."

"Uhhhhh."

You stay in a deadlock as you both drone out cluelessly. You let your voice drift off and grimace. You rub your lower back and do your best to hold back the agony as you drag yourself off the couch. You bite down on your tongue as you face her again.

"Well, if you're going to murder me for something he did," you begin, "better get it over with. I'm kinda impatient to be done with it--"

"What?" She scoffs, "no, I... you're..." she tilts her head, "uh, I didn't know Hansen was... it's his?"

"Christ, unfortunately, yes," you sneer as you waddle around the sofa, "no immaculate conception for me. Maybe if I believed a little harder--"

"Shit, Jesus, god," she rambles in the same fashion as Lloyd, "I didn't think anyone would be here so--"

"You broke in. Yeah, sounds like a friend of his."

"He's not answering my calls."

"Yep, definitely his friend," you roll your eyes, "so, what next? He's not here and I'm not really dressed for guests."

"Fuck, talk about me. You're definitely a good fit," she clucks, "the mouth on you."

"Probably has something to do with it," you cross your arms over your stomach, "well, you got me on my feet so can I get you something? Water? Non-alcoholic wine?"

"Uh, I think you should sit down," she says.

"Bah, I'm tired of being cooped up, just help out to the garden and I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

You give her a sharp look and she raises her hands defensively.

"Got it," she approaches you, "uh, er…"

"Just give me an arm," you reach for her and hobble closer, "there's a chair out there, think it can still hold me."

"Mmm," she hums as you latch onto her.

She keeps her pace even with yours and bring her hand to the small of your back as you puff. You hate how weak you are. Oh well, you can't stay inside any longer.

She helps you down off the porch and over to the garden. She's reticent and awkward as she offers her hands and you cling to her. You drop into the chair and it reclines under your weight, the footrest popping up under your legs. It's not too bad.

"He'll be back," you shade your eyes with your hand, "might as well pull up a chair."

💎

"So," Suzanne, the intruder, giggles, "somehow the dumbass finds his way into a sewer–" she can't help but fall into cackles as you do the same, propping the cold glass of water against your bump, "comes out covered in shit like he went through Willy Wonka's chocolate river."

You're almost sobbing as you laugh. Your back wracks with pain but it's too amusing. You can just imagine how Lloyd lamented whatever designer loafers he had to wear into the underground.

Your mirth is interrupted only by the sudden beep of the gate. You glance over as Lloyd rolls through, rolling his window down as he watches you through dark sunglasses. He pulls up and stops violently, only an inch away from Suzanne's Jeep.

He swings the door open and hops out in a furor. You see his anger in his gait as he stomps over, the round sunglasses giving him a rather douchey look. Suzanne quiets her laughter and sips her toothless chardonnay. You both stare at him calmly as he blusters to the edge of the garden.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Lloyd jabs his finger in her direction.

"Hansen, long time, no see," she answers.

"And you," Lloyd ignores her, "you should be inside. How the fuck did you get out here?"

"I'm not a cat, Lloyd," you rebuff. "I'm fine out here. No moving, got it."

"What is this? What the fuck is going on?"

"Oh, chill out, Hansen, I was just getting to know your… wife? I thought anyone crazy enough to marry you would be just as intolerable but she's actually cool. Dunno how you scored her."

She stands coolly and takes a sip of the wine. He furrows his brow and flips up his sunglasses. He crosses his arms like a bratty child and huffs.

"So what? You just stroll into my house–"

"I didn't touch anything, don't worry. But you were ghosting me and that's not how this works–"

"Tell me how it fucking works. Give me a number and if I like it, I work. That's how it goes. Don't act like you're my fucking boss."

"Well, figure you might need some extra cash with a baby on the way–"

"I got all I need, cupcake," he sneers, "you come into my house again, even look at my wife wrong, and I will–" he nearly chokes on his anger, "and you let her come all the way out here? You made my pregnant wife with a broken fucking back come all the way outside–"

"She didn't make me do anything. And it's not broken, Lloyd–" you argue.

"The doctor said," he hisses and grips his forehead, "Suzanne, fuck off out of here so I can deal with my wife. Go find some other fuckhead to do your dirty work."

"Actually, she's not going anywhere," you interject, "she made dinner so–"

"Peaches, she's leaving. Now."

"Honey," you say sourly, "didn't the doctor say not to stress me out? This is my house too, isn't it? I can have friends over."

"Friend?"

"Oh, yeah," you smirk at him, "we really hit it off. Ta." You flick your fingers at him dismissively, "so, tell me about Paris. You said you were there last month?"

Lloyd's shadow lingers for just a minute before he sighs. He turns and stalks off with a grumble. You smile at Suzanne as she sits back down. The front door slams and you both burst out in laughter.

"I love you," Suzanne says, "I've been dying for years to see someone put him in his place."

#lloyd hansen x reader #dark lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #series #unexpected #the gray man #au

[famdommcfanface]

An analysis of alcemy for the Magnus Protocol!

I have just finished the episode I have found a list of alchemical symbols let's fucking gooo baby. Just to clarify it is my belief these are the new entities. I know it would probably be better if they were less rigidly defined but I love sorting things and am hyped!!! This is going to be long so strap in (not all of those though they're just to illustrate)! I am so sorry if you use dark mode (like me!) these images are almost all transparent.

1: Mercury!

Referring to both the metal and the planet, go wild. Mercury is all about transcending boundaries as it's kind of both a solid and a liquid (it's not but whatever), specifically the boundary of life and death, possibly even transcend death. That seems relevant. Also related to snakes so if snakes show up... probably mercury. Also if we ever get some sort of white queen in a chess way? Mercury. It also represents the mind, or spirit maybe? It's got a lot going on. Colin said it'd make the world end. Fuck yeah probably why not.

2: Salt

This is one that is not included on one list I have but is on the other. I'm not guaranteeing all of these are significant I'm finding it hard to find a definite list. If you look into just all the alchemical symbols they've got loads and I doubt they're all significant. Anyway. Salt is the physical body in this trifecta (we'll come onto that). Very to do with physicality, the body, honestly might manifest in a few ways similar to the Flesh. Also to do with purification? In general but also 'purifying' the body which I think medieval people meant in a good way but sounds evil to me. There is also of course, seperate to the whole alchemy thing, salt circles and all that. You've seen supernatural you know what I'm talking about. Although that's also to do with purification.

3: Sulphur

Or sulfur, if you are American. This one's actually got a few different symbols but let's go with this one for now. Honestly, and I know we shouldn't be comparing these to the TMA entities, but this one's pretty desolation. It's all dry heat and masculine destructive energy. Yeah this one's 'masculine' and mercury's 'feminine' for some reason, I doubt that will come up. Which I guess makes salt non-binary. This is the red king, too. This is the soul in the 'tria prima', Mercury, salt and sulphur, which were the three first elements apparently, and also cause disease? Idk. That might be relevant. Hell's meant to smell of sulphur, that tells you most of what you need to know. Again, we've all seen Supernatural. Colin said something about this making you go mad. I think yeah sure but less spiral-type mad more slaughter-type mad.

4: Air

Right, onto the four basic elements. These all have a humour related to them too and air has blood for some reason. Air is life and light and God and passion and all that good shit. I have to imagine it's gonna have some vast shit going on too because I don't think Jonny can help himself, but it's also to do with being changable and generally quite nice. Oh also ideas and creativity. All that good shit!

5: Earth

Basically the opposite of air. The 'masculine counterpart' as all these websites keep saying. It's associated with salt, which makes sense, and is all about stillness and being grounded and again, I feel like there's going to be some buried attributes in there. It's got the humour black bile which is all about sadness and shit. Most of the four basic elements are fairly self-explanatory.

6: Fire

You know what fire does. Passion, emotion, love and hate and all that. Although honestly in an alchemical way fire seems to be more emotional. So far (and I am writing these as I look into them) if you want something based around physical destruction you're gonna wanna look at sulphur. Its humour is yellow bile.

7: Water

Water, humour is phlegm, connected to mercury, honestly alchemically I can't find anyone having much to say about it but y'know. It's water. BUT I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT WATER. Okay so this has gotta be the deep, right? The whole mix of the buried and the vast thing with the sea? That killed the girl Alice saw? Or at least was involved with the death. It's all very water.

8: Lead

Right, onto planetary metals! Which Mercury kind of also was but hey ho. So, Lead is associated with Saturn. So, alchemists believed that lead was the base metal, that all other metals were just lead that had turned into something else. Which means it's really important but also kinda sucks, and is why people kept trying to make it into gold. So lead is also to do with change but also kind of purity as they thought it 'purified' into gold. Also associated with the Roman god Saturn/Greek god Chronos, who are both to do with time so that might be involved.

9: Tin

To do with the planet Jupiter. It seems to be connected to wisdom and maturity and education and all that. BUT ALSO. It is connected to Lady Mowbray, hell yeah. Because I watched a video about the arg and noted that on the back of Lady M's assistant's clipboard or whatever is this symbol which I recognised at the time as Jupiter! Now. What does tin have to do with dogs and eating people. As far as I can tell fuck all. I thought I'd misremembered for a moment and it was actually the Saturn symbol because that would work with cannibalism at least but no Lady Mowbray seems to serve... tin. Which is kind of funny. I get the connection to nobility at least, Jupiter is king of the gods after all, but as far as I know he doesn't hunt people with dogs? Idk.

10: Iron

Related to Mars and, as I'm sure you can tell, men. Because these fuckers loved gender. Similar to fire it's all about anger and passion, but also seeing as Mars is the god of war I don't think it's beyond belief we've got something similar to the slaughter on our hands here.

11: Gold

Connected to the sun and therefore does not have a classical god I can interpret. Damn. Maybe Apollo? Gold is about having gay lovers. No. So gold's big thing is that it doesn't corrode. Something about staying as you are, the opposite of Air's changability, sort of similar to earth... I could make something out of this.

12: Copper

Well hello ladies. Copper actually has a cooler symbol but I suspect we're sticking with these. Connected to Venus, obviously, which is all about attractiveness and desirability because copper is a very pretty metal. Personally, I would say episode 2 is to do with copper. I don't know if ink5oul themself is (I think they might sort of span entities) but what's her name from the episode and her obsession with looking good seems very copper to me. I know I'm not sorting all these episodes (yet! I have to relisten first) but this one jumped out at me. Copper is also to do with love, of course. I feel like one reason maybe the desire theory got so big is a lot of alchemical elements are to do with love and desire, so that just sort of bled through?

13: Silver

That's right, it's the moon! Very to do with mystery and weird shit. I think if you get the non-literal elements of The Dark you've got Silver. Also keeps away evil, again, Supernatural. Although it also has to do with tides so I think there is a very small chance that actually this is the Deep? I doubt it though.

14: Antimony

So I wasn't going to do the mundane elements because they're less likely to be important (you'll see) but some of them are really interesting! I might not do them all. Anyway, antimony is about the wild and animalistic side of human nature, and is to do with wolves. That remind you of anyone? A certain... aristocratic milf? I know she's connected to tin but it should be antimony okay??

15: Arsenic

Arsenic is cool, we all know it. It's my mum's favourite element on the periodic table. Anyway. Swans? It's to do with swans. Apparently it transforms its appearance like a cygnet to a swan. It also fucking kills people which I'm not convinced the alchmists were aware of.

16: Bismuth

Nobody knows what they were doing with bismuth. RIP. Also, I don't know my astronomy but that is taurus. Does that mean anything? I looked into the metal; it's quite pretty and people get it mixed up with tin.

17: Magnesium

Oh boy. It's hard to extinguish once it's lit, so it represents eternity! That's gotta be something babyy! Some combination of the end and the vast and all that.

18: Phosphorus

They thought phosphorus trapped light. I know it's easy to say this from a modern perspective but alchemists were fucking dumb. I feel like I could disprove this. But they were the first scientists so we have to be nice to them I guess...

19: Platinum

Supposedly a combination of gold and silver, hence the symbol. Possibly something about being bound to something... idk.

20: Potassium

Or potash. Didn't seem to have much historical context. But I believe it has very important modern context.

21: Zinc

They burned zinc to get what they called 'white snow'. You fucking idiots snow is already white.

That's it! Honourable mention to horse dung, which is a more obscure element but gets its own symbol and everything.

also soap and urine and all sorts of shit so I think we should stop there. What have we learnt? Possibly nothing! One of these has got to be to do with plants - I assume earth? That would make sense. One's something to do with luck from the sounds of things and I have no idea what that is, hopefully someone knows more about alchemy than I do for that. There's definitely some sort of watcher and I think either that's the eye crossed into this dimension or possibly mercury? I don't think the names are going to be these because honestly imagine Lady Mowbray being like hey I serve Tin. She's probably going to say Jupiter but we all have to know in our heart of hearts. It's just fucking tin. I am very tired I am going to bed.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp theory #the magnus archives #tma #posts what I done #I think I lost my mind when I was writing this #I suspect I'm going to try and sort all the statements into these at some point but I need to relisten first

[thepictureofjune]

The Tortured Poets Departement of schloss einstein

— relating songs to characters and relationships because in my eyes, everyone is a little sad

Hallo. Wilkommen. This is me trying to relate everything I somewhat like to my current obsession even if it does not fit at all because this is a kids show and the album is probably anything but relatable to a 12 year old, trying to find a treasure. But I tried and I tried explaining my choices. This is my very insane and over-dramatic interpretation, please just deal with me. 

Disclaimer: hab versucht, mich möglichst auf Staffel 26 und 27 Charaktere zu begrenzen, hat aber (siehe literally erstes Beispiel) manchmal besser bei früheren Charakteren oder Beziehungen gepasst. Btw would love it if anyone could find people to relate the missing songs to. (my chronic rewatching kinda failed me in the end…)

Fortnight - Till und Martha (Staffel 23)

And for a fortnight there, we were forever Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary And I love you, it's ruining my life I love you, it's ruining my life I touched you for only a fortnight I touched you, but I touched you

For me this fits within the whole Martha Kasimir Till drama and obviously the somewhat enemies to lovers arc Martha and Till had going on. How probably liking Martha ruined Tills life more than it already was because when they kissed for the first time, she was still dating Kasimir and that, of course, ensured a lot of issues probably. 

The Tortured Poets Department - Nesrin und Annika (Staffel 27!)

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me? I laughed in your face and said "You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots" (...) Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me, who else is gonna know me?

We get introduced to them as these two best friends who are never really seen without each other. Annika knows Nesrin and Nesrin knows Annika and no one is ever going to get in between them, right? Because then it changes and we get the whole fight of Nesrin not really seeming to know Annika all that well anymore, them constantly fighting because maybe after all, all they had was the pranks they did together and what is their friendship beyond that? What is their friendship now?

Down Bad - Noah und Colin aus Noahs Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1062)

For a moment, I knew cosmic love Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "Fuck it if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference" Down bad, wakin' up in blood Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up Fuck it if I can't have us I might just not get up, I might stay

Did you take all my old clothes Just to leave me here, naked and alone In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now? They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about The existence of you

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's— I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded 'Cause fuck it, I was in love So fuck you if I can't have us

So Noah kinda knows he likes Colin now, knows that he misses Colin but what if Colin doesn’t miss him? What if Colin already moved on? Nothing would make sense anymore. He lost his best friend and for what? Only to be alone in the end?

Because right now, for all Noah knows, Colin might still be mad at him. 

So Long, London - Noah und Colin aus Colins Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1056) 

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away My spine split from carrying us up the hill Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had Did you think I had in me?" Oh, the tragedy

So long, London You'll find someone For so long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun I'll find someone And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it My white-knuckle dying grip Holding tight to your quiet resentment And my friends said it isn't right to be scared Every day of a love affair Every breath feels like rarest air When you're not sure if he wants to be there You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days And I'm just getting color back into my face I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place

But Daddy I Love Him - Julia Sponer (Staffel 25 u 26) 

Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him I'm havin' his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences No, I'm not coming to my senses

This one is mainly for the dramatics of the song, of playing the part and of Julia wanting to take a path (acting) that is usually not really met with great immediate success. 

Fresh Out The Slammer - Lucky und Paulina (Staffel 11 u 12) 

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine Years of labor, locks, and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches Toss the ashes off the ledge As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again

Give me one couple in the entirety of Schloss Einstein that screams Partners in Crime better than they do. (also give me one modern character that would be looked at like a criminal - they don’t do them like that anymore) 

Florida!!! - Joyce Simon (Staffel 24 u 25)

Little did you know your home's really only A town you're just a guest in So you work your life away just to pay For a time-share down in Destin (...) The hurricane with my name when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time Yes, I'm hauntеd, but I'm feeling just fine

One character who never quite seemed to feel at home, who had a friend and still fled the country, who has never had a home because family was always foreign. 

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - Joshua Hockenbrink (Staffel 27) 

The who's who of "Who's that?" is poised for the attack But my bare hands paved their paths You don't get to tell me about "sad" (...) Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream "Who's afraid of little old me?" You should be The scandal was contained The bullet had just grazed At all costs, keep your good name You don't get to tell me you feel bad Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one morе joke Then we could all just laugh until I cry (...) So tell me everything is not about me But what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me But what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said? That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong

A birthday party organized simply to taunt him, the usually slightly mean behavior that drives everyone away and makes you think he is nothing more than rude, nothing more than a villain. But he’s also the boy that seems to want nothing more than to find a place that accepts him. 

loml - Leon und Io aus Leons Sicht (Staffel 27 post 1064) 

We embroidered the memories of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe" I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I've felt a glow like this never before and never since (...) You holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life You said I'm the love of your life About a million times Who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate (...) I wish I could unrecall How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Massuda Phanit (Staffel 26 u 27)

I can read your mind "She's having the time of her life There in her glittering prime The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night" I can show you lies 'Cause I'm a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did Lights, camera, bitch, smile Even when you wanna die Breaking down, I hit the floor All the piеces of me shatterеd as the crowd was chanting, "More" I was grinnin' like I'm winnin' I was hittin' my marks I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

Massuda is glitter, she is smiles in the camera, she is organizing parties and loud music and dancing and…She is also the parents that don’t accept her if she doesn’t have good grades. She is also the one who has to hide her true self whenever her parents turn up. 

Clara Bow - Marlon to Simon (Staffel 27)

"You look like Clara Bow In this light, remarkable All your life, did you know You'd be picked like a rose?" I'm not trying to exaggerate But I think I might die if it happened Die if it happened to me No one in my small town Thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan Take the glory, give everything Promise to be dazzling

This might seem a wee bit crazy but hear me out! Marlon likes Nesrin but he also thinks Nesrin likes Simon. And he knows Simon is probably better at this whole liking someone and flirting with them thing that he will ever be because after all, he’s just the kid with the star bread.

— june🪐

(the anthology comes in a separate part bcs else this is too long to read - it already prob is)

#schloss einstein

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 19 ramble

next week's episode is gonna be halfway through season 1.. wonder if it'll be special at all..

ALCHEMY LIKE THE!! THE PROTOCOLS!!! oh i'm so intrigued why would she be researching alchemy..

oh and the magnus institute was researching alchemy

YES DROP IT SAM!!! DROP IT!!! CELIA STOP ENCOURAGING

PROTOCOL? also damn it's one of those old statements, always had a hard time connecting to those in tma

who's gonna tell them the name of the podcast

they could literally be dangling the names of all those old people jonah magnus associated with in front of my face and i'd have no clue

NOT THE DOG WHY THE DOG

opened one eye... like The Eye...

"it saw me and it knew me" oh we're so fucking ba.... don't kill the dog pls

wait something that reverted the affects? like some chemical? something something alchemy something something celia

"you only do that when something's up" alice knows him so well

ARE THE COMPUTERS LISTENING TO US OH MY GOD HE KNOWS.

alice has the right approach but also sam is right in general

poor gwen

very interesting that lena directly tells gwen she could leave.. strikingly different from another business i know..

COLIN OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S BEEN SO LONG MAN!!!! i wonder why alice is there

"you're looking.. here.."

now he's talking about chemistry stuff and oh my god!! oh my god.

what did he mean by "mummy and daddy stasi" ?? his last names becher right??

maybe alice is not right for this actually, she IS being listened to

#my god #he's alive #i am so.. conflicted #colin is going through it #the magnus protocol #tmagp #magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #tmagp 19 #colin becher #alice dyer #fen blogs tmagp

[indigayghost]

The Proposal

It wasn't supposed to start at all. When Nandor asked him to polish his opal ring, Guillermo smiled, taking the ring.

It was supposed to be an easy task. But then he saw the pile of dirty clothes and if he didn't take care of it now he would forget, he didn't want to lose the ring so he put it on his finger. It wasn't supposed to stay there, it was just to make things easier.

And it did! It did make things easier! He put the clothes on the washing machine, took the clean ones to the fancy room, fold everything, b-lined to Colin Robinson's room and threw his neatly folded beige shirts and pants in like he was delivering food to a solitary cell, noticed the rugs needed to be vacuumed and better to do it sooner than later, and, well, you can't blame him for forgetting the ring.

When Nandor found him, he was humming some pop song and calmly brushing Barry the Bear's fur.

"Guillermo, did you-" He stopped, furrowing his brows.

Guillermo jumped a little bit, cursing to himself by being taken by surprise (he and Nandor do not not have a friendly competition about who can scare the other the most and he would be lying if he said he didn't matter losing) while turning to face his master.

"Oh, good night, Master!" He greeted him. It took him half a second to realize Nandor was staring at his hand and half a second more to remember why. "Oh my- Sorry! I wasn't! I wasn't using it! I just put it on and I forgot-"

"Keep it." Nandor said, interrupting Guillermo's attempt to take the ring off.

"What?"

"Keep it." Nandor repeated, looking away. "I don't even like this ring that much."

That, Guillermo noticed, was a lie. Nandor never takes this ring off, but he wasn't going to point that out now, was he?

After a moment, not as a second thought, but almost as something he wasn't sure he was supposed to say, Nandor added:

"It looks good on you."

And then he vanished in a dark smoke, as Nandor often does when he puts himself in situations he's not ready to face, leaving Guillermo to process what the living fuck happened.

So, yeah, it wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. And now Guillermo has to deal with the consequences, mostly Nandor acting as a spoiled brat and a thousand more boxes for him to stuff in the "don't think about it" storage room of his mind.

He is so good at not thinking about it, in fact, that he didn't at all in the past five days since it happened, and he would gladly continue to not think about it if he wasn't being forced to by an overly aggressive Nadja.

"What the fuck did you do this time?" She said, cornering Guillermo between her coffin and her taxidermy armadillo.

"Nothing?" Guillermo responded, trying to decide if he would manage to squeeze below her arms.

"Exactly! Nothing!" She flap her hands in annoyance. "Are you dumb? Are you idiot?"

"Look, you're being really mean right now." Guillermo ignored how Nadja looked like she was visualizing all the ways she could kill him in favor of putting his hands on his waist and pretending he has no clue what she's talking about.

"You'll see how mean I can be when i rip your fucking head off, you dumb stupid donkey!" Nadja took a deep breath and fixed her skirt. "Gizmo, my silly little baby, how much longer will you let Nandor brood around like someone kicked him in the balls before you say your cheesy gay little speech about how 'oh Nandor of course I want to marry you' or something?"

Guillermo opened his mouth to say some smart little response before his brain finally got what she actually said.

“Of course I want to what?!” He almost screams- almost, he has some self respect, after all.

“Oh, oh please don't tell me this is another one of those situations none of you talk to the other and we all have to suffer through it!” Nadja flaps her arms like some kind of delirious chicken and turns her hands into fists when she sees Guillermo's “of course it is one of those situations” stare. The one he does where you can literally see the question marks dancing around his tiny little brain. “I'm going to kill you all!”

Nadja screams. She thinks about really doing it. Ripping Nandor's heart out and snapping Guillermo's neck. It would be easy, practical, and she would never need to deal with their crap again. But then she would miss them, so she sighs, recomposes herself and says, the calmest she can muster.

“My sweet stupid human, Nandor asked you in marriage. Please accept it before he kills himself.”

Guillermo just stares at her for a second. And then stares back at the ring, now heavy in his finger. Then back at her again. And then he screams.

“What kind of shitty marriage proposal was that?! He didn't even- He didn't even ask! It's not even a wedding ring!” He argues, as if that's the strangest part of all this and not that Nandor is asking to marry him. He decides not to think about that part yet.

“The guy is one thousand years old, what did you expect?!”

“She asked Gail all right.” Guillermo says, the disgust he feels remembering Gail is clear in his tone.

“Well, yeah, but Gail wasn't for real. He didn't want to marry her, don't tell me you believed that.”

“I did!” Guillermo lies. He lied for about two seconds before he chickened out below Nadja's piercing eyes. “Look. It's just… How do I even respond?! He didn't ask it. I can't go to him and just say yes!”

“Then fuck him yes. He'll get it.” Nadja says, shrugging.

Guillermo, as much as he wants to argue, doesn't really have a good response to that

#wwdits #wwdits fanart #Oops in writing again #Deal with it

[strangelock221b]

S3E4 (spoilers abound)

Portia, Prudence, and Philippa listening at the open door while Debling calls on Pen. The three of them are anything but subtle.

Aww, he gave her a potted plant so she can have nature indoors with her. I hope somebody in this house has a green thumb. He is sweet but he'd better be honest with whoever he ends up marrying about his actual reason for finding a wife.

Has Pen truly given up on Colin? It's sad if that's true.

"I will surely eat all of the biscuits" You mean we FINALLY have an appearance by Colin's bottomless pit of a stomach? It only took what, TWO AND A HALF SEASONS?!

Violet knows when something is up but she also knows a dismissal when she hears one.

Benedict and Lady Tilley. Yeah, she's this season's Siena, though I will say I like her a lot more than I liked Siena (which isn't hard). She won't last but at least they'll be fun to watch while she's around.

Agatha and Marcus. Their dynamic is interesting -- "Do whatever, I'm too busy to get involved." I doubt he'll last beyond S3, but you never know.

"to become the new Marquess Samadani" OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHONDA, YOU DID NOT!!! The wife of a marquess (or a female marquess in her own right) is not called a marquess, but a MARCHIONESS! I know marquess isn't a common title in the British peerage but Shonda, you have access to Wikipedia, FUCKING USE IT!!!

"You read me too well." God, I love Charlotte and Brimsley.

Violet, El, Fran, and the kids are expecting Lord Samadani but Maybe-John has dropped in instead. We'd better learn his name soon, this is driving me nuts.

"John Stirling, Earl of Kilmartin." FUCKING FINALLY!!!! I don't care that his accent is wrong, I love this guy already! Is your cousin Michael in town too, John? Or is he earning his title of the Merry Rake elsewhere?

John and Fran are simply enjoying the silence and the rest of the family is completely baffled, I love it. And here comes Samadani, lovely. John, your timing is awful.

Samadani seems like a nice enough guy, he's just wrong for Francesca.

Love the library, hate Portia's internalized misogyny. I really feel for Cressida now. Can Debling marry her once Colin finally gets his head out of his ass and marries Pen?

I take "revelry" to mean Colin's friends are going whoring and want him to come with, lovely.

Debling is finally being honest? Well, not directly, but still, I'll take it for now. Oh, he's being subtle but he is being direct, got it. Poor Pen, she's torn between the life she wants and a good life that's being offered to her.

Colin with his two ladies again but this time, he's not into it. If you've already paid, Colin, you could've just bid them goodnight and left, you didn't have to stay.

Francesca running into John on the street. These two are a little too quiet for their own good, but I'm sure they'll be fine, maybe with a little help from Violet.

The Cowpers' sitting room has to be the most depressing room on the planet. Lord Cowper's forbidding Cressida from being friends with Eloise? Is it because of Colin? Or Pen? Or maybe he thinks she's putting too much effort into the friendship and not enough into finding a husband. Cressida, I'm guessing you're the same age as Daphne, so I believe that makes you 23 now. You're a legal adult and have been for two years. It would be highly irregular but you could move out of your parents' house. I'm sure the Bridgertons would take you in if Eloise explained everything.

Uh oh, the Mondriches' pub needs saving (again). We'll have another last-minute save by a Bridgerton by the time S3 is over, I'm sure. Frankly, most of the ton can fuck themselves, and that includes Colin's "friends," especially Fife. Pig.

Colin wanting more out of sex is a great sign of both his maturity and him falling in love.

So Debling's serious about proposing to Pen. Poor Pen and poor Cressida.

BTW, I love how the subtitles keep calling the music this season "pensive," it feels like an unintended pun.

For a woman who can't come up with a decent metaphor to save her life, Violet is very wise when it comes to her kids. Oh, she is playing Colin like a fiddle! Go, Violet!

I really like her and Marcus together, he seems like a great guy, though apparently somewhat estranged from Agatha.

Cressida came to Eloise. El really brings out the best in her, something her parents really try to keep hidden. I swear to God, Shonda, if you don't give Cressida a happy ending, I will.

Be careful, Fran, especially with the Queen watching.

Colin has finally outgrown his "friends," halleluiah!

Well, at least Debling bowed out gracefully. And Cressida still has a chance, as slim as it is.

Oh, is this THE carriage scene? Not quite how the book one went but hey, if we get the same outcome, I'm all for it.

Aww, Colin looks like he's about to cry.

"Are you going to marry me or not?" Colin, I could kiss you but I'll leave that to Pen. WE GOT OUR BOOK PROPOSAL!!!

And we don't even get an answer before the episode ends.

Nice cliffhanger, Shonda.

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton s3 spoilers #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #francesca bridgerton #cressida cowper

[orangepeelshortbreadcookies]

Penelope knew at that time that Colin will never be hers. She didnt think she could be love BECAUSE OF BEING UGLY AND FAT (something you skinny bitches will never know) she said that in her book. So she post marinas pregnancy not because she wants Colin for herself , its was a selfless action so Colin wont get in a loveless lier marriage with a woman pregnant of another man ( she so slut she couldnt wait)

[2]Even if she redeem KA fans will never love Pen because she is fat. Thats the point. She is not skinny as fucking kate

---

Either you actually feel this way, angry anon, or you're a troll going bombarding others' comment section inboxes for shits and giggles. Either way it's pathetic.

Keep in mind that I don't use this sentence lightly: What the hell is wrong with you? That you have the need, that you are so compelled to harass strangers, assuming things about them, accusing them of things they didn't even do, just because they don't see your beloved character in the same light you do? Because they hold your fav accountable in a fic they posted for FREE? One that you could opt out of reading anytime? While you demean and slutshame in the same breath? Is this behaviour how you relate to Penelope and feel commended by? Be so fucking for real right now.

Get a hobby. Write your own fic. Or maybe leaving mean comments and asks insulting strangers is the best use of your time you can come up with.

I wouldn't know. I don't fucking know you.

Have a nice, spiteful day.

#penelope featherington #polin #colin bridgerton #marina thompson #anti penelope featherington #bridgerton #rude anon