#also seeing these two men in this gifset together

[minnarr]

REFERENCE POST: very minor characters of Word of Honor

I originally gathered these blorbos together for a presentation called "Writing in the Margins: finding story in the minor characters of Word of Honor" (sometimes, in a pinch, I title slide deck party presentations like a paper because it's easy). My criteria for this presentation was that I wanted to highlight characters to whom a lot of people's reaction would be, "Who?" So characters like Gu Miaomiao and Gao Xiaolian and Deng Kuan, while my beloveds, are not here because they are just a bit too present in the story.

Why should you click through and read? Well, honestly, I'm adapting this as a resource for fellow fic writers who just want some folks to help flesh out the world. This post is divided into three sections: Chengling's Generation, Tianchaung's Orbit, and The Previous Generation. There's so much just going on in the background; let's take a look.

Chengling's Generation

Mu Yunge

Introduction: Episode 5* Suggested Episodes: 5, 7

* by "introduction", I mean the episode in which their name card appears, officially introducing them; for some characters, as with Mu Yunge, their first appearance in the show happens before that point

Mu Yunge is an interesting inclusion because I don't like him. He's pretty much there to suck, and then die. He's here for two reasons. One, he does a lot to flesh out his world; two, he's in the boyband in the concert they did after Word of Honor wrapped, and that is my favorite part.

I'm really only going to address the first one here. Oh, Mu Yunge. He's there to show how the Department of the Unfaithful operates, and how very present the violent misogyny they address still is in his world. He's also (to all appearances) a young man in good standing in the martial arts world. Deng Kuan is close enough to him that he's selected as one of the friends to take part in the deathmatch in his name. What does this say about the young men of that generation? And his death also has echoes in the background drama in the show: Mu Siyuan (his dad) becomes a loud voice against the ghosts and later Gao Chong.

Zhu Yaozhi

Introduction: 3 Suggested Episodes: 7, 14, & 24

Zhu Yaozhi is fascinating to me because he is such an encapsulation of what Word of Honor does with its larger plot. Because, like, there's all these moving pieces and a lot of them are moving in the background and the main characters don't really notice or give a shit, but they're definitely moving along arcs that make sense from their point of view.

This guy is a disciple of Yueyang Sect, Gao Chong's sect (along with Deng Kuan); we see him multiple times just doing kind of grunt work/investigation for them, most notably when he follows up on the guy Gu Xiang beat up for harrassing musicians and then is apologetic and embarrassed for believing his side of the story (episode 7). He's also buddies with Mo Weixu, Cao Weining's shixiong, and teases Cao Weining to him. (See this gifset for part of the scene in question, from episode 14). Early Zhu Yaozhi is a goofball who's just doing his job.

After Gao Chong's disgrace, he goes searching for Gao Xiaolian and we lose track of him until he turns up again in ep 24 being menaced by Mu Siyuan. Mu Siyuan wants him to say his master was evil and colluded with the ghosts, and Zhu Yaozhi refuses and tries to punch him. It's great. It also gives us Shen Shen to the rescue in the middle of his own loyalty/figuring out how to be truly righteous arc. I have a lot of feelings about this. He's such a useful character for showing us what Yueyang Sect is like and what becomes of it after Gao Chong dies.

Song Huairen (L) & Xie Wuyang (R)

Introduction: SHR: 5 / XWY: 8 Suggested Episodes: SHR: 5 / XWY: 9, 17

I've paired these because they're both Xie Wang’s competition, young men who also call Zhao Jing yifu. They are both disciples of Yueyang Sect; Song Huairen is supposed to be a favored disciple of Gao Chong. Xie Wang eliminates him the same night we meet him and plays it off to Zhao Jing as the shell game with the Glazed Armor going wrong.

Xie Wuyang meanwhile starts off as a character who makes Zhang Chengling’s life at Yueyang uncomfortable—up to and including whipping him during training. Very satisfyingly, Gu Xiang knocks him out when he’s giving Chengling a hard time in episode 11. Later on, after Zhao Jing has settled in at Yueyang, Xie Wuyang serves him in his private rooms doing stuff like giving him manicures. 

Mo Weixu

Introduction: 14 Suggested Episodes: 14, 26-28

Mo Weixu is the son of Mo Huaiyang (Cao Weining's horrible shifu) and Cao Weining's da-shixiong. When he first appears, he scolds Cao Weining for having no ambition but then shoos him off to check on Gu Xiang anyway, and we see this mix of sternness-as-concern and indulgence continue. He's kind to Gu Xiang, and helps guide her through greeting their shishu Fan Huaikong properly, but he also warns Cao Weining that she might not be everything she appears. He's kind of the level-headed ballast to Cao Weining's naivete and worries about him.

Mo Weixu is not at Cao Weining's wedding. Mo Huaiyang says he had to cleanse his sect because his disciple and shidi were bewitched by Gu Xiang. However, in episode 36, Xie Wang specifically says that they never found Mo Weixu's body, even though they definitely found Fan Huaikong's. Fellow fic writers: you know what that means.

Tianchuang's Orbit

Bi Xingming (L) & Cheng Zichen (R)

Introduction: 31 Suggested Episodes: 31

Disciples of Siji hidden in Tianchuang! These two were both taken as disciples by men within Tianchuang and took their surnames; Bi Xingming’s first shifu is Bi Changfeng, the guy who took the nails in episode 1. Cheng Zichen's is a guy called Cheng Xiu. They show up in like one episode but I’m obsessed with them. They lead the party of Tianchuang ducklings who rescue Zhou Zishu and then get inducted into Siji as Zhou Zishu’s disciples. Bi Xingming is specifically shown to be very eager about this, but is told he’ll have to wait to have a ceremony about it till his shixiong Chengling comes back.

Princess Jing'an

Introduction: 1 Suggested Episodes: 1

Talk about one-scene wonders—Princess Jing'an left an impression on me. What kind of past interactions does it imply that she calls Zhou Zishu Zhou-shixiong, but he doesn't know she and Jiuxiao were in love? I have questions and I want to answer them. Also even in her like 2 minutes of screentime we see her sharp and defiant and angry and it makes me want to write her SO bad.

Qingluan

Introduction: [N/A] Suggested Episodes: 30

She is literally mentioned in like 1 or 2 lines in episode 30 so she’s less fascinating for her Word of Honor appearance than for how she is mentioned here paired with her role in Qi Ye (the novel that's the prequel to the novel SHL is based on): In Qi Ye, Su Qingluan (originally named Su Cui'r) is a beauty who becomes part of the crown prince party, gets caught working against them, and is confined to a house as Helian Yi’s concubine for the foreseeable future.

In Word of Honor, she’s one of the people (the list also includes Zhou Zishu, Yunxing, Qin Jiuxiao, and Jing Beiyuan) who swore together in her courtyard to make Jinwang emperor, which implies a much more active role in their party than in Qi Ye. We also know she killed herself before the events of canon (or at least as far as Jinwang knows; in the same section, Zhou Zishu says that Jinwang poisoned Jing Beiyuan to death with a straight face). This seems to be part of the whole party splintering over time. Once more: implied story, free real estate (jazz hands).

Jing Beiyuan's six siblings

At one point Jing Beiyuan justifies being called Qi Ye (Lord Seventh) by saying he's the seventh kid in his generation. (There's a different, much more absurd, justification in the novels). I take him at his word just because that's the funniest option. I don't have more to say beyond just:

Six

SIX!!!!!!

are they worse than him? are they normal?

just

SIX

The Previous Generation

Qin-furen

Introduction: [N/A] Suggested Episodes: 12, 24

SIDEBAR: the moms. The dads have SO much narrative weight in the story in ways that most of the moms really don’t—they’re often nameless or fully invisible—so I leap at even the tiniest mentions of what they’re like and think a lot about them. Qin-furen’s the only one who really lands in the sweet spot for this post: enough info to play with and not make a total OC, not enough screentime that I expect to find many fics with her.

This is the wife of Qin Huaizhang, Zhou Zishu’s shifu. She’s mentioned in just a handful of lines and unnamed. She rescued rabbits and apparently was fearsome with her husband about it. She was friends with Chengling’s mom, who had a similar dynamic with her husband, according to Chengling. In episode 12, Zhou Zishu says, “I wanted to practice martial arts when I was a child. Sometimes, when my master forced me to play, I would seek help from his wife. She always stood by my side and criticized my master.” I have spent a truly stupid amount of time looking at her gravestone trying to glean info, and I’m still not really sure what we should be calling her.

Yue Feng'er

Introduction: 19 Suggested Episodes: 19

The eldest disciple of her generation at Healer Valley and the wife of Rong Xuan. She rough-houses with Shen Shen and is known by her own title as well as being the eldest of the Three Heroes of Healers Valley. She’s presumably well-known in the martial arts world, and woven right into the web of friendships that started off all this tragedy. And she also loved her husband so fiercely that when he was poisoned she used a forbidden technique and took the heart out of a living man to try to heal him. She’s a powerful healer and at least as much a monster as he is and I like her so much.

#word of honor #word of honor meta #shan he ling #finally finished the gifs for this thing

[sarucane]

OFMD Spiral Parallels 39: Wearing Fine Things Well

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

These are two scenes that are really, really direct parallels, right down to the staging, music, dialogue, and colors. That's lovely stuff you can get from the various gifsets and videos around tumblr, so I want to talk about the way these two scenes parallel and spiral deeper into the character's emotions. Because both scenes actually highlight the same character dynamic: the biggest obstacle to these guys' relationship is themselves, and how often they are just not in the same emotional place. In the first scene, that results in wistfulness, a lost opportunity to reach for more. But in the second scene, that results in hopefulness, a starting point for reaching something that both men agree they want.

In the first scene, Ed and Stede meet to talk about what happened at the party that day. Ed is feeling crappy and disillusioned. He tried something he'd idealized for a long time, and it went badly. He feels like he failed a test, and at the same time that somehow the test failed him.

But Stede repeatedly reinforces what, to him, is obvious: Ed's perfectly worthy of care, and not having done well in the aristocratic world doesn't reflect on him in any way.

Then the scenes move to something Ed's holding. In the first scene, Ed's shy and almost cruel to himself, calling this important memento "a tatty old thing," pretending to himself and to Stede that it doesn't matter as much as it does.

In the second scene, Ed has also just emerged from an unfamiliar situation. He's been fishing for the first time--and more than that, he's actually had a serious and open conversation with Fang for the first time in decades. Ed has started understanding something beyond being "not a good person" today: he started to get that the real problem was he "wasn't a good guy."

That day ends with Ed meeting Fang's challenge and catching this fish. In the first scene, Ed just begun to understand what the shape of his life won't be going forward; in the second, he's understanding what it will be.

In the second scene, Ed is the opposite of shy about what he's holding. It's a tiny fish, but it means a lot to him--and he's comfortable enough with Stede to communicate the full emotional importance of this (perfectly respectable if rather small) fish.

And then we get to the romance zone. In the first scene, Stede--high on his success overthrowing the rich assholes, and responding to Ed's clear sadness--is the one who initiates this, probably without realizing it.

In the second season, Ed moves into the romance zone, first by complimenting Stede's shirt, then by directly referencing the moment their relationship really shifted. Back in the first season, Stede did this pretty much unconsciously (which makes it, if anything, more charming: he doesn't want something from Ed, he's expressing what he really thinks about Ed)...

In the second season, Ed does this as a signal. He was the hurt party in their breakup, so Stede doesn't move back into romantic territory until Ed signals he's ready. And this is where it gets to the scenes somehow hit exactly the same notes, while also meaning completely different things, the first season entering an emotional holding pattern while the second season dives deep into seriousness, though alao ending with a holding pattern.

In the first season, Ed totally steps in for a kiss here, and then sees Stede open his mouth to say something, and goes "oh shit wrong reading," and draws back.

And while I want to scream "you idiot" at Stede, at the same time they really do have different ideas of their relationship here, and the only real way to resolve something like that is to talk about it, which both are too shy and insecure to do at this stage.

In the second scene, again a kiss is cut off. But while in the first scene this was a sign of missed connection, in this scene it's actually a step towards a deeper connection. Because the next thing Ed does is talk.

In the first scene, they're too nervous and insecure with each other to talk to each other about what they want. But in the second scene, both Ed and Stede are able to express themselves. And in a fantastic display of character development, Ed actually plows right past Stede saying bullshit like "Yeah" and "I know," the kind of pleasantries they exchanged in season 1.

In the first scene, Stede and Ed muttered at each other and low-key panic, both rocketing from completely comfortable to deeply nervous, unclear on what the other person or they, themselves, wants.

In the second scene, they actually talk. There's still a lot that's amorphous here to both of them, but they're not plowing through or running away. Relationships deepen when conversations are at their most awkward and vulnerable, just like this.

In the first scene, Ed is more disappointed than Stede that they didn't kiss. He internalizes his feelings, his body language moving inwards once his back is to Stede. He doesn't feel safe enough to express that he's interested in Stede at all, let alone create a situation where he'll feel safe within a relationship.

In the second season, Stede is also disappointed that they didn't kiss more here (dude's been keeping half the crew awake with moans of "oh Ed," god knows he's gone from shy and confused to thirsty af). But-- while he at first tries to skim over the incident, just like last time--when Ed explains what he's thinking Stede understands. Because while the cut off kiss of the first season was him and Ed avoiding advancing their relationship, this cut off kiss actually deepens that relationship. Ed doesn't want to rush into anything with Stede right now because he wants to be with Stede, and for the long haul.

And so, healthy boundaries in place, they can both relax with each other.

The first scene may not have been when they first kissed, but it was the true starting point of their adolescent first season romance. They both left the conversation knowing there was something there, between them, even if they didn't know what. The scene ends on a note of pure angst and tension.

But the second ends with comfortable joy. It's also the beginning of a new phase of their relationship--but this time it's not a couple of idiots stumbling around in the dark. It's the beginning of a grown-up romantic partnership.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #ed teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #these boys are so dumb the first time #and so smart the second

[kaizsche]

You are such an incredible writer, but you’re also an amazing gif maker! So, what’s your favourite gif set that you’ve made this year? Also, what is the fic that you’re most excited to write in the new year? Thanks for being such an incredible friend Kai 🥰

(literally me seeing your ask and am i copying q's answer to her own ask? the answer is yaaaaaaaaas.)

i don't really see myself as an AMAZING gif maker and an INCREDIBLE writer so to hear all these compliments from you is just straight up melting my goddamn heart vis. *teary-eyed emoji cos im in pc*

so to ask your... well... ask, i haven't been kind of productive this year, both in writing and editing stuff so i can't say i have a wide selection to choose from, but here's my ultimate fav gifset. like fr.

which predictably is a gifset from your fic which i've gotten so much interaction on and just having you message me about this was just... it honestly made me cry so yeah...

the freaking 'i know you have a lot of fic planned this year' just cracked me tf up. like... you and q know i go all ramble kai on anything resembling my fic ideas so you know what i already have in store next year...

first off, i am sooo excited to finally enter the spuffy writing fandom so there's that. i already have like 20+ spuffy wips in my docs rn but the most excited i am for next year are these two, i think: (and i'll be letting y'all take a lil peek of them)

sun and moon

“Who are you?” The Slayer demanded. Buffy could hear the restless fear simulating his heart and the cautious steps he took to back away from her. Smart Slayer. So he has honed his skills then? Knew she was different from the other vampires he dealt around the small town. Buffy grinned wickedly. It’ll be fun to dance with this one. “I kill your kind for sport, Slayer.” She let her words stew in the air, watched him put the pieces together—inch by agonizing inch.

spuffy dark fic (warning has possible incest!)

Joyce's heart stopped completely. Because standing at the door, a boy, her son she hadn't seen in years stood before her. Joyce had wanted to believe he changed—hair longer and tied at the back of his neck, still dressed in his boarding school's uniform but a few sizes bigger than she had first seen him—it was his eyes that gave him away.  It was cold and unfeeling. He regarded her as if she wasn't his mother, as if she was nothing to him at all. "Joyce."  "William—" She watched his gaze snap over her shoulder and at once, the piercing cold melted into warm fondness as did the trembling tension in his body. "Hello, cutie." "Will!"  Buffy barrelled past her, leaping in his arms and she wasn't afraid, she trusted him to catch her. William staggered a few feet back from the impact, wrapping one arm across her waist and the other held her bottom to prevent her from falling. "You're here. You're really here."  William held Joyce's gaze, a muscle in his jaw twitching as if to dare her to scold him—to remove him once more out of his Buffy's life.  "Never gonna happen, love. I'll be here forever. I promise."  Buffy sighed happily, enjoying the feel of his warmth, his hands on her. Joyce sighed in resignation, turning away from the challenge in his eyes.  "It's cold outside. Come in." At this, William grinned. "Thanks, mum."

last but not least, how could i forget tvd?

take my breath rewrite (kolena + klena) i mean how can i ever resist kolena theyre like my main otp. i go batshit crazy for them.

Elena gravitates towards the lake, stares at her reflection in the water. Hates her face and her blood more than she realizes. She loved her face and her body once upon a time. Now, all it ever does is haunt her every step and shadow surrounded by men who knew every crevice of her body. They knew her better than she ever did. (It is the face that launched a thousand year curse, damning the girls that carried it. Reduced to nothing but objects in a man’s eyes. Katherine was right. I am always right. She hears her taunting giggle and sees her twin’s knowing smirk. I told you so. Nothing could ever bring more joy to her evil doppelganger than proving that she was right.)

kolena roommates au (this was actually inspired by a spuffy fic i read LOL)

"Okay, 20 questions." "Go." "Who's your favorite?" "Favorite who?" Kol groaned. "Favorite Mikaelson sibling," and looked at her bashfully, like he was expecting her to… say his name? "Rebekah." He yelled out an indignant cry, "What a load of bollocks! You're telling me, after everything we've been through, I'm still—" "You are a favorite," She cut him off.  "Really?" He gaped at her, astonished.  "My least favorite." She bit hard on her tongue, seeing the sheer disappointment and anguish encroaching on his face. And somehow, his voice had gotten louder, belting out at a higher register than Mariah Carey. "I rank lower than even bloody Niklaus?!"

i do hope to be as productive as i was in 2022 when it comes to publishing fics cause i'll really wither and die if i don't manage to publish these four.

special fic mentions:

the song of wandering aengus

banish air from air

only, helen (tentative title)

and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

& special user mentions for just being there for me (listening, suggesting, reading) when i was going batshit crazy over my fic ideas. you're all wonderful ppl and i'm glad to have you in my life <3

@katherineholmes @qvnthesia @finnismyoriginalsin

thank you so much for this ask, vis <3 love ya 5ever

#katherineholmes #writing woes #woe is me... me is a writer? #gif stuff #writing stuff #kaizsche's asks #kaizsche #btvs #tvd #spuffy #kolena #klena #my plans for 2024 #here's to hoping these 4 see the light of ao3 #feel free to wallop me if it doesn't #annoy me in my asks... or something

[jxstadaydreamer]

first impressions

from this gifset by @celestyeol

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x afab reader Genre: Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff Word count: 5235

Summary: Getting back into the dating scene is tough and no one you've come across on these God-forsaken apps have caught your attention. But when one finally does, despite the fact there's an undeniable spark between the two of you and the amount of not-a-date coffee runs you've been on together, you're still too afraid to go on an official first date with him.

Author's note: Happy birthday to my one & only! 🎉 Thank you to my beloved for always proof reading my work and making sure my tenses match up! This story is an idea I’ve had for a long time after being inspired by a comment from a Reddit thread. I started it a while ago and gave up on it multiple times but I’m proud that I managed to pull through and finish it. I hope you can enjoy 💞 Feedback is always very appreciated! And if you do like it, please consider sharing it too 💞

It’s been quite a while since you were last in a relationship, your previous one had you sworn off the entire male species so you could heal your wounds and work on yourself. Of course you were a grown woman with needs and had the occasional short-lived fling here and there but now your desires had grown to something deeper and beyond bedroom activities. You began to miss having that intimate bond with a special someone. Just having another person to run silly errands with, have late night conversations about deep topics or nothing in particular, someone to marathon a tv show or try a new recipe with.

Loneliness gets to everyone, sooner or later.

You don’t want to actively, desperately seek out a partner but you have to start somewhere. And with some slightly aggressive persuasion from your friends, and your own deep dive internet research where you had found a convincing number of success stories, you decide to sign up for some dating apps. Because apparently ‘that’s how everyone meets these days!’

Now, you expected to come across some weirdos and creeps, of course, men who send one liners ranging from awfully cheesy to downright disrespectful or those who ask for your snapchat straight away because that’s where they prefer to chat, the latter being an immediate red flag to you. It wasn’t all bad however, some managed to hold some decent conversation and banter, but none that gave you that spark of interest, merely candidates for a nice chat. Proving just as much when you had agreed to a first date with some that would either be embarrassingly awkward or just lacking any chemistry whatsoever. With some even feeling entitled to some sort of exchange just because ‘they had done the gentlemanly thing of paying for your meal.’ Ugh. Over time, the hope you had to find your special someone through dating apps had waned significantly.

Enough that you almost gave up. Almost.

It’s near the end of an entirely too long work day when you receive the notification, the vibration making your eyes avert their gaze from the computer screen to the now lit screen of your phone. You notice the dating app icon, alerting you to a new match. Not feeling too giddy, you return to your work when another buzz of your phone steals your attention once again. Seeing that this time it's a message, you pick up your phone curious to see what this new match has opened with. Another pickup line? Would it be ridiculously corny or something icky? Maybe it would be the standard ‘hello beautiful, how are you?’ which was pleasant, yes, but also boring.

Instead, your eyes widen a smidgen and you sit up a little straighter. The outer corners of your lips quirk up just the slightest.

[Chanyeol]: i need to know - how do you feel about ace’s death?

You’re thinking of your reply when another message pops up.

[Chanyeol]: i’m sorry if that was random ^^” i just noticed the one piece flag and figurines in the background of one of your photos and got excited!

Wait. What? You quickly navigate back to one of your profile and notice on the 3rd image that the little nerd corner in your room had indeed been caught in one of your chosen selfies. How did you miss that? Ugh. Oh well. You also take the opportunity to tap through to his profile and refresh your memory. Damn. He’s hot. You think to yourself. Not wanting to make him wait too long, you shake your head of the thought and return to the chat screen.

[You]: hi chanyeol! it’s alright lol tbh i didn’t even notice they were in the pic. but to answer your question - i bawled like a baby.

It doesn’t take long for him to reply, and that fact alone widens the small smile that had crept onto your features.

A few dozen messages are exchanged back and forth before you look up and notice that everyone in the office has already left except for the usual suspects that liked to linger and try to earn some overtime. You look at the time and realise you could have left 35 minutes ago. Where the hell did the time go? Moving past the initial confusion, you quickly collect your belongings, heading out the building and towards the subway station.

You’re a little embarrassed to admit but you almost missed your stop. Cause? Being way too engrossed in a conversation with a man you didn’t even know 2 hours ago, discussing other events from what you now know is both of your favourite anime. You manage to walk home in record time, mindlessly throwing your things on one end of the sofa, plopping yourself down on the other and pulling your phone out to read his recent reply.

It’s only when you hear the rumble of your own stomach that you peel your eyes away from your phone screen and realise the sun has long set and you still haven't eaten a thing. Deciding it's too late to cook, and definitely not because you’re too lazy, you settle on ordering a pizza. You note the arrival time and think it’s just enough for you to hop into the shower and wash away the exhaustion the work week has given you. Turning on the water and tapping out yet another reply before you place your phone on the vanity and step inside the glass cubicle.

If you didn’t realise how much trouble you were in when you missed dinner (which was a first for you) or when you found yourself constantly glancing over at your phone screen to see if he had replied yet with ears hyper aware of the app notification alert tone any time you had to close your eyes or turn away, you definitely realise it now as you stare at the dark screen of your phone and your flustered reflection stares back at you.

Upon exiting the shower and drying your hands just enough to use your phone without dragging water droplets across the screen, you realise why there was no lighting up of the screen or notification melody sounding from your phone speaker – your phone battery was flat. What did you expect though? With the countless hours you had spent messaging back and forth, screen basically constantly lit. You quickly wrap a towel around yourself and rush to your bedside, plugging in the charger and waiting for the dark screen to light up with the logo and come back to life.

It’s in this moment that you think maybe you need to chill, afraid that you could be coming on too strong. Although, he’s reciprocating your energy too, right? Maybe, just maybe, he is just as into you as you are to him? The thought causes a fuzzy, warm, fluttering feeling in your stomach but is interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell, signalling your saviour and grace, the food delivery driver, has arrived.

As you settle down in front of the tv and turn on your comfort Netflix show that serves no purpose other than background noise to make you feel less alone, you absentmindedly shove the food into your mouth in between tapping out reply after reply. Eventually, you wash up and move to a comfier location. Snuggling into your plush sheets and chatting like lovesick teenagers until your eyes struggle to stay open and you wish eachother goodnights and sweet dreams.

-

You and Chanyeol continue texting each other about anything and everything throughout the day for the two weeks, exchanging social media accounts somewhere in between. You quickly find out that Chanyeol is an avid Snapchat user but in the cutest way. He would snap you things he encounters during his day – pretty flowers, the sky, cute animals, etc. – because “it makes me smile so I hope it makes you smile too.”

There was a particular snap that made your stomach hurt so much from laughing the first time you had seen it, a cheesy grin on your face anytime you recall it. Chanyeol was filming a snap of some cute goslings he’d spotted by a lake, only to be running away frantically screaming moments later because the daddy goose was chasing him away from its babies.

Every now and then you send him a gif of a goose when he gets a little smart with you.

One night, he asks if he can call you because his hands are a little tired from playing the guitar all day (Yeah, guitar. He’s a musician. That writes his own songs. These facts combined with his looks make you wonder if he’s real and if you’re being catfished), and you hesitantly agree. You hate the sound of your own voice and you’re afraid he might find it off-putting but the desire to listen to his voice trumps your insecurities in the end. It’s a decision you don’t regret. He’s such a great conversationalist that you completely forget how nervous you are in no time and the first phone call lasts til some hours of the AM.

You’re not sure when you fall asleep but you blame the comfiness of your bed and the velvet-like sound of his voice – smooth, deep and comforting. You think he may have been in the middle of telling you a childhood memory, his voice soft because of how late it was and the fondness of the story.

As you wait in line the next morning for the much needed coffee, you unlock your phone and type out a good morning text to Chanyeol, apologising for falling asleep and promising to make it up to him somehow. You also open Snapchat to snap him your current view of the coffee shop, caption wishing you could buy him a cup of coffee too to atone for your sins. You faintly hear the Snapchat notification sounding from somewhere behind you but you don’t think much of it until you hear it coming from your own phone some moments later, swiping it open to see what it could be.

You stare at your screen wondering why the floor looks so familiar and what he’s playing at when another snap comes through.

And now you definitely know why you could recognise the flooring. Because it’s the exact same view in front of you. Only his point of view was from a little further back and included you in the frane. Caption stating: someone who owes me coffee! And a sticker of an arrow pointing at your figure.

You spin around abruptly and it’s definitely hard to miss his tall stature, let alone the brightest grin you’ve ever seen on a human being currently being flashed at you. You give him a shy wave and he makes his way across the coffee shop to stand beside you. You quickly glance down at your outfit, mentally kicking yourself for choosing convenience over style and subtly try to brush the knots out of your hair with your fingers.

“Fancy meeting you here.” you can practically hear the smile in his voice and this fact is only confirmed when you literally have to look up to see him, if it was even possible for him to be smiling any bigger than he was before.

“It is..considering I’m here everyday and I’m sure I’d remember seeing you here.” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“I just moved here recently so I’m trying to find a new coffee spot… and I think I just found it.”

The way he’s looking at you brings the heat to your cheeks and you’re praying to the heavens that it’s not too obvious. You chance a peek at him and luckily he’s no longer looking at you, instead his gaze facing forward as it reads over the menu above the counter. You also notice that the huge grin is gone and is replaced with a tight lipped smile and a deep dimple. Taking advantage of the opportunity that he is seemingly, momentarily distracted by the menu options, you take in his handsome visuals. And the fact that he is actually here with you in person, quickly erasing all thoughts of you possibly being catfished because you thought he was just too good to be true.

Eventually, he makes up his mind and heads up to the counter to order an iced americano. You both sit down to enjoy your beverages and some conversation about what the day ahead entails for you before you have to head off to work. Chanyeol offers to drive you but you kindly refuse him, letting him know you actually enjoy the short walk that’s only a few blocks down. He juts his bottom lip out in a pout but nods. You can’t help but laugh at him as you wave goodbye.

As the weeks go by, you fall into a routine with Chanyeol. Meeting him for coffee in the mornings, where sometimes he would drive you if you were carrying some heavy items or he’d walk with you if he wasn’t in a rush that day, texting on and off throughout the day and talking on the phone before bedtime had advanced to video calls instead.

You had grown so comfortable with him that it was easy to share your thoughts without worrying he would judge you, whether it would be a random idea you had or just something you had come across during your day. He would either laugh about it with you or indulge in the thought with you. The comfort only made you become more smitten with him, especially since he seems to be reciprocating your every move. It never felt like you were doing too much or too little and that things were heading in a nice direction.

-

[Chanyeol :)]: hypothetically, how would you feel if i asked you on a date?

Usually, Chanyeol’s texts make your stomach flutter in a good way but this question, albeit hypothetical, has you feeling a little unwell. Your previous encounters with other matches on the very same app you met Chanyeol on had left you with a bad taste whenever it came to first dates. And you know you could be honest with Chanyeol and tell him exactly that but you just have to come up with a way to do so without making him think that you think he would be another one of those guys.

Typing and backspacing over and over again, you decide it’s too easy to misunderstand over text and if you video call him then you’ll end up giving into his pout. Paired with the kicked puppy look he pulls off so well? You stand no chance. So you opt for a phone call, it’s the safest option, middle ground of the other two.

He picks up the phone almost immediately.

“Hey! Is everything alright?”

“Everything is great. I, uh, just thought it’d be better to tell you this over the phone instead of texting you…”

“Oh,” he replied, coming to a realisation, “oh. Did I- Crap. Did I misunderstand something? I mean, I just thought that we- I thought you felt the same way so I- Fuck. Shit, sorry.”

“No, no no!” – you interject to bring a stop to his flustered rambling – “I do. I thought it was quite obvious but I do feel the same way.” You can feel the rosey hue blooming on the apples of your cheeks. Thank God this wasn’t a video call. Good choice Y/N. “It’s just that I had some bad experiences with first dates before I met you. Some of the guys just…weren’t that nice during or even after the date. And don’t get me wrong! I know you’re nothing like them but the fact that it’s a first date just makes me extra nervous is all. I mean, I’d like to, eventually, with you. I’m just a little scared that I might screw something up, kinda, I guess.”

You take a deep breath and slap your forehead when you realise the mess of words you had just spewed out in the span of 10 seconds.

“Wow, so articulate Y/N. Dammit I knew I should’ve just stuck with texting.” you mutter to yourself.

You hear a deep, throaty chuckle from him that distracts you from your self depricating thoughts.

“Phew!” – he exclaims dramatically – “Had me worried for a sec there. But thank you for explaining it to me. And phone call was definitely the right choice so don’t worry.” – laughing at you again – “I get it! Really! No pressure whatsoever.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

“Of course. But you shouldn’t have to thank me for it, isn’t it the bare minimum? Anyways, have you eaten yet?”

Damn, this guy is just so smooth with the way he steers the conversation in another direction and just ever so charming with his words and understanding nature.

-

It’s Saturday afternoon and after a productive day of cleaning your apartment from the mess you’ve created and neglected during the week, you sit down to enjoy some moments of peace in your now tidy space and contemplate your options for the rest of the evening. Closing your eyes and leaning your head back against the comfy cushions on your sofa.

A buzz and ding of your phone from its place on your coffee table has a smile etching its way onto your face and you sit up, reaching for it to see the name of exactly who you thought it would be on your screen.

[Chanyeol<3]: are you busy rn?

[You]: hm not rn no. what’s up?

[Chanyeol<3]: i was just about to run some errands but don’t feel like going solo. care to bless me with your company?

[You]: i mean, i don’t see how that would be blessing you but sure, i’d love to join you :)

[Chanyeol<3]: cool! i’ll pick you up soon?

[You]: sure. see you in a bit!

Shoot! You race to the bathroom, looking into the mirror and assess your mess of a situation right now. There’s no time for a shower so you opt to put your hair up into a bun for now and reach for some makeup to attempt a no-makeup makeup look, just enough to tidy yourself up and look clean and fresh.

It’s just errands right? You’d look silly if you dress up too much. You need something comfortable. Something functional but cute still. You end up in a loose tshirt tucked into a nice pair of jeans that just so happen to make your butt look good.

Your timing is perfect, slipping your sneakers on just as Chanyeol texts you that he’s outside, grabbing your bag and heading downstairs to meet him.

As you’re walking out the lobby, you can already see him across the street. He’s leaning against this huge silver SUV. He’s dressed in jeans and a hoodie but the scene looks like something out of a magazine with his tall physique, handsome face and styled hair. It’s probably a thought you have too often but it’s something you don’t think you could ever move past.

He looks up when he hears the doors of the building close as you exit and he stands up straighter, greeting you with a warm smile and a frantic wave of his hand.

“Hi!” he says as soon as you’ve crossed the street and close enough that he doesn’t need to raise his voice to be heard.

“Hey!” you return his smile, “Oh my gosh your car is HUGE! But I guess it needs to be for you to fit inside comfortably.”

He chuckles at your comment and it eases your nerves a little. He opens the door for you like a true gentleman and you climb inside, buckling yourself in as he rounds the front of the car to the drivers side.

“Ready?” he asks, turning to you with an award winning grin.

You nod happily and he turns the engine on, pulling away from the curb and towards his destination. You try to ask him where but he says you’ll see when you get there. Chanyeol turns on the radio but keeps the volume at a minimum so you can still speak comfortably to eachother.

Soon enough, he turns into the underground parking lot of a shopping mall complex and parks his car.

“What do you need to do here?” you ask him once you’re both inside the elevator taking you up to the chosen level.

“Just wait a little longer, little miss impatient. You’ll see.”

He laughs when you huff and pout your lips.

Chanyeol leads the way but you notice his long legs allow him longer strides that force you to quicken your step a little just to keep up with him. He seems to notice this though and slows himself down to a pace that's good for you both.

“So, you remember that candy you were telling me about last time? The one you said your grandma used to buy for you when you little and you can’t find anymore?”

You nod slowly, quirking a brow and tilting your head, wondering where he’s going with this.

“I found out this place here sells them!”

He stops as he says this and points to a small candy shop. Inside, you can see that there are walls and shelves lined with various types of candies and snacks. It seems he’s scoped out this place prior to taking you here because he takes you to the exact place they’re kept in the store.

Your eyes grow wide when you spot the familiar packaging of your childhood favourite and you can’t help the tears forming at your waterline.

Grabbing yourself a few packs of that specific candy, you and Chanyeol browse through the rest of the store, selecting a few more before you both make your way to the counter to pay for your chosen goods.

Chanyeol reaches for his wallet but you stop him, firmly insisting that he allow you to pay for his and your things to thank him for bringing you here and finding something that is so important to you. He sees the look of determination in your eyes and decides not to challenge you. He needs to pick his battles wisely if he wants the rest of the evening to pan out the way he intends it to.

Leaving the store and following Chanyeol to his next errand location, you can’t help but feel touched by the fact that he remembered something you had told him in passing over the phone and also managed to find you the exact thing you talked about too.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of Chanyeol’s laughter and you look up to realise he’s stopped walking, now watching you and chuckling as his shoulders bounce up and down.

“What?”

“I should be asking you that. What’s got you so deep in thought?”

“Nothing!” you quickly say, sounding way too defensive for your own good.

He hums, letting you know he didn’t really believe you but isn’t going to question you any further.

“Well, while you were too busy thinking about ‘nothing,’ I was trying to ask if you wanted to see this movie with me?” – he points over to a poster on the wall and you realise you’ve stopped in front of the cinema – “I didn’t realise it was out already! I’ve been looking forward to it.”

It’s been a while since you’ve seen a movie in an actual cinema, considering everything is just so accessible online these days. The movie he’s asking you to watch with him is an action comedy, it can’t be too bad right? You seem to have the same taste with most things so far.

“I mean, if you don’t want to. It’s okay, I just thought we could watch it together since we’re both here right now.”

He sees the gears in your head cranking and he’s hoping he didn’t overstep by asking you, the last thing he wants is for you to feel uncomfortable around him. His nervousness shows by the way he’s unable to stand still, shifting from one foot to another and scratching the back of his neck.

“No, no, I’d love to watch it with you! It’s been so long since I’ve been to an actual cinema too. I think it’ll be fun!”

A toothy grin immediately appears on his features, eyes bright and sparkly with excitement.

“Awesome! I’ll go get the tickets and something from the candy bar too. Any requests?”

“Maybe just a drink? I think we have plenty of things to snack on.” you laugh, pointing to the bag he’s holding.

He nods in agreement and quickly scurries off to buy some tickets.

-

You both emerge from the dark movie theatre just under 2 hours later feeling a little closer than you did when you went in.

It was a great movie, it had a balance of suspenseful moments, scenes that made you laugh and a not-so-heavy-romance-but-just-enough plot thrown in. Truly something for everyone.

It was also the first time you had sat so closely with Chanyeol. Close enough that you could smell his cologne wafting to your nose and holy shit did he smell absolutely delicious. He would nudge you during the funny scenes as he laughed. Although the two of you had started off leaving a respectable distance, somewhere during the movie you had both managed to scoot closer to each other. Your thigh resting comfortably against his, upper arms touching too.

You both opened some of the snacks you had bought earlier to try and looked to each other for reactions, most of them were so good and the others not so much, making you both scrunch your face at eachother and quickly wrap the packet up and placing it back into the bag to reach for another instead.

Walking back to the car together, you discuss the happenings of the movie you’ve both just watched and end up quoting the same lines to eachother. His eyes are now in a semi permanent crescent moon position from all the laughing, a vast difference to his usual rounded full-moon-esque eyes that look like they contain galaxies within them. You wonder if his cheeks hurt from smiling as much as yours do.

You have learnt that Chanyeol laughs with his entire body, whether it be the not so subtle shaking of his shoulders, loud echoing claps from his huge hands, slapping his own body (usually thighs) or whatever furniture is within range or just folding over and holding himself. You wouldn’t put it behind him to regularly end up on the floor dying from a laughing fit too. The thought is endearing, the fact that he’s just so happy it vibrates through his entire being this way.

All that laughing must have depleted his body of energy because the moment you settle into the car and buckle up your seatbelts, you hear a huge extended rumbling sound coming from, what you can safely assume by the way he quickly clutches his abdomen, is his stomach.

Chanyeols ears grow bright red and he smiles at you sheepishly.

“Um, would you like to go get some food?” he says, scratching the back of his neck. A nervous habit of his that you’ve manage to pick up on. “Since we’re already together right now and it’s basically dinner time..” he trails off.

“Sure, why not. Since we’re conveniently together right now and I don’t think your stomach can wait any longer.” you tease.

“Hey!” he puts on a pretend offended look. “Is there anything in particular you want to eat? Anything you’re craving?”

“Hmm,” you purse your bottom lip and roll your eyes around in thought, “not really. I don’t mind what we eat.”

“Do you like ramen? There’s this spot I really like and it’s close by.”

“I love it! Let’s go there.”

Feeling pleased with himself that you so happily accept his suggestion for dinner and invite to join him for yet another thing, Chanyeol knows he definitely can’t wipe the grin off his face even if his cheeks are definitely feeling sore from smiling so much. He just hopes you’re enjoying yourself when spending time with him as much as he was with you.

Just like he said, the ramen restaurant was indeed close by and you arrive there in less than 10 minutes and a few turns along the way.

It’s a cosy little, hole in the wall type place that you wouldn’t have noticed in passing. Chanyeol swears this place has the best ramen he’s tasted outside of Japan, telling you to trust his judgement because he apparently travels there pretty often and has had his fair share of authentic Japanese cuisine.

You enter the small restaurant and are immediately greeted by the chef behind the counter, bowing and welcoming you inside and showing you to some seats. After perusing the menu and putting your order in, its not long before your steaming hot bowl of ramen arrives and you thank the chef for the food.

Picking up your spoon, you dip it inside the broth to scoop up some of the deliciousness to taste. The rich flavour immediately hits your senses and it tastes even better than it smells and looks.

“So?” Chanyeol asks, excited to hear your verdict.

“It really is so good!”

“Yay! I’m glad you like it.”

Chanyeol’s own bowl of ramen arrives immediately after and he follows your actions of thanking the chef before digging into the food, slurping up the broth and noodles.

Having ordered a smaller serving and receiving your food before Chanyeol, you end up finishing before he does and you allow yourself some silent moments to reflect on the past few hours you’ve spent with him.

You don’t think you’ve been this happy in a long time. And you can’t remember the last time you’ve felt this comfortable around someone new either. Could you really call him someone new though? After the amount of time you’ve spent texting together and on calls, coffee meetups in the mornings…you’ve definitely entered some sort of situationship with him. Any doubts you had about whether he felt the same way you did about him had dissipated. Any inklings of wonder you had whether he felt it to the intensity you did had gone too. Because just as much as you love spending time with him, he seems to want your company the same also.

Maybe you are ready. More than you had previously thought. Just scared, maybe.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Chanyeol asks, derailing your train of thought.

“I was just thinking…hypothetically, maybe I am ready to go on that date.”

The smile he gives you is impish. It’s not the bright, happy kind of smile you were expecting. It’s the mischievous kind, like when a little kid knows a silly secret or something. It makes you squint your eyes at him, questioning his motives.

“What?”

“Well, actually, we kinda did already go on that hypothetical date.”

You’re wondering what in the hell he’s on about when it clicks. What dat- Oh. Oh. A movie and dinner. The classic, run of the mill date.

You can’t even be mad. It’s too smart. He tricked you into going on a first date with him.

“Clever bastard.”

#chanyeol x reader #exo x reader #exosnet #exowritersnet #park chanyeol x reader #park chanyeol x you #chanyeol x you #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol oneshot #chanyeol imagines #chanyeol scenarios #chanyeol fic #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol fanfiction #exo x you #exo fluff #exo oneshot #exo imagines #exo scenarios #exo fic #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #jxstadaydreamer

[sunflowerwemadeit]

what's your new hyperfixation about?? i see all the gifsets and im curious

It's Thai BL dramas!!!! I literally saw one (1) gifset of two men kissing and was like oh what show? Hidden Agenda. Okay guess we're gonna stay up all night to finish watching this 9-10 hour series. And it still has two episodes to go!!!! Which I didn't know so now I have to wait 😭😭❤️

And then I was like oh the actors are goooood. And hence I got into the JoongDunk ship. They're so adorable and flirty together I feel so single and so so gay because of them😭😭😭😭

And then I found out that Joong and Dunk have already done one other series together!!!! Where they were the main pair too!!!!!

So guess what I've been binge watching till 6am in the morning!!!!!

And apparently they were also in Safe House which I think is the Thai version of Big Brother? (In India it's called Bigg Boss lol) and i was like OMG SO MUCH CONTENT HOLY SHIT MY DOPAMINE IS THROUGH THE ROOF

So I'm there rn😂😂😂 it is so fun 🥺❤️

#thesilverstreets #i absolutely adore every time you notice and ask about my new hyperfixations i love you so much bub #bub💙 #ask #answered

[willel]

Will Shaped the Upside Down

spurred on by @endiness's awesome gifset https://endiness.tumblr.com/post/689459538551816192/

Season 4 honed in a lot on the idea that El "shaped" Vecna and made him become what he is today. She shooed him off to an ultimate dimension where he grew in strength, opened a gateway and allowed him back into their world, and now look where we are.

Of course, Henry has no one to blame but himself. It's not El's fault he's a murderous weirdo. But I digress. This brings me to an interesting topic of discussion. The "shape" of the Upside Down.

As we saw, the Upside Down was a yellowish plain completely alien to our world. Floating structures, evil clouds of doom, hungry flowers shaped like men, quite a sight to see. But for some reason in the present, the Upside Down is now shaped like Hawkins and it is blue.

I'm pointing out colors here because I think it's important. In this thread, you will see that they have actually updated the graphics for the Upside Down. In part 1, it was red. In part 2, it's been updated to yellow.

Something, or someone between 1979 and 1983 reshaped the Upside Down into what we know and don't love today. For reasons I will explain, I believe Will accidentally made the Upside Down reflect Hawkins the night he was taken.

If we look back at Vecna's speech to younger El, he talked a lot about how "Together, we can reshape the world to how we see fit." This appears to still be his goal. When he's speaking to older El, he still says something like "I will be there to pick up the pieces when Hawkins falls. I will remake it into something beautiful."

He's very focused on "reshaping" the world to what he believes is beautiful. He is an artist after all. So where does Will come in?

On the one hand, I feel as though Will was taken by Vecna on purpose. That Will had some kind of latent abilities Vecna could sniff out and he moved his chess pieces around (the Demogorgon) to cross paths with him and inevitably kidnap him into the Upside Down.

On the other hand, I also feel like Will really was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and was just like ever other Demogorgon victim… but something happened when he got taken there.

The once yellow landscape suddenly got overwritten with something else. Like a snapshot or a painting, the Upside Down "under" Hawkins BECAME Hawkins. A weird cold empty duplicate of Hawkins. I'm thinking in the heat of the moment, in the absolute panic of facing a creature like the Demogorgon and getting swept away into an alternate dimension (which is no doubt extremely traumatizing), Will accidentally painted the Upside Down in his image. We mustn't forget, Will is an artist too after all.

Of course, it's hard to not take notice of such a thing happening. Maybe originally Will was meant to just be another tasty snack, but when Vecna took notice of what was happening, Will was spared his fate (and subjected to much worse things). You see, a lot of people argue, "He was just meant to be a slug incubator", but I still don't think that's the entire story.

The Demogorgon still maimed and killed ALL it's victims. Barb, Bob, the Russians, the two hunters off screen, the deer. Every single one of them. Will did not have a scratch on him. He was malnourished and probably suffering from hypothermia, but he did not have any physical injuries. That alone makes him different from every other victim of the Upside Down.

This brings us to season 2. Note, Will has not yet been possessed at the beginning of season 2. He just has some kind of strange connection to the Upside Down and/or that still persists to this day. At the beginning of season 2 when Will is speaking to Owens, he says the "evil" wanted to kill. "Not me. Everyone else," he said.

This very much lines up with the idea that Vecna is aware of Will's ability to shape the Upside Down. No, he doesn't want to kill Will. But he wants to conscript him. To "reshape the world", which he knows Will can do. He originally wanted El at his side for this purpose, but now, he's already found a new target to fulfill his desires. Another kid very similar to him just like El was. An artist even.

Kinda fits, doesn't it?

#stranger things #will byers #el hopper #venca #henry creel #theory

[nose-bl]

ugh one of the blogs i follow reblogged a gwen hate post. you know the kind, the ones that hate on gwen bc arwen is canon instead of merthur, the ones that are very obviously racist against gwen but justify it with "i just hate m/f couples" (which is absurd and also ties in with biphobia and transphobia but that's a whole other conversation), the ones that say gwen is just bland and boring and that she became "selfish" or whatever

anyway i blocked them but im so disappointed to see how many fans hate gwen, claim she "got in the way of merthur" when merthur would have never been canon anyway. im tired of the fans claiming arthur didnt love gwen, that merthur would have been canon if merlin was a girl, that merthur is better than arwen even tho arthur literally abuses merlin and makes him feel like shit while he actually treats gwen well and with respect and shows her love

seriously how can you claim merthur wasn't canon just bc it's two men? when it actually isn't canon bc it wouldn't make sense for merlin and arthur to be together in this show- i would love an arthurian retelling where merlin and arthur are together, but in this specific show they wouldn't have worked bc of the way the whole show was planned and written. it's not queerbaiting (queer coding maybe, yes, but not queerbaiting) and arwen being canon is not "just another basic m/f couple" or "heteronormativity"

i am in no way saying you can't ship merthur or prefer it over arwen, everyone likes different things, my issue is just with how ppl talk about it bc many end up falling into mysogynoir territory against gwen, and often romanticize abuse (you know all those gifsets of arthur literally throwing hard objects at merlin and being disrespectful and insulting him in a really bad way and ppl comment "omg husbands❤️" "they're so in love❤️")

#im making this non reblogable bc i dont want to deal with harrassment from certain hardcore merthur fans #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin

[matan4il]

OK I hope this makes sense because I feel like some of my thoughts have been a little crystallized and I'm hoping for your opinion since your actually queer and very insightful.

So I know some fans pine for the days of the early promotion of Buddie when Stark and Guzman did goofy things together and even attended award shows. I get it and I missed it a little too. But I always felt like when the show settled on this was a true love scenario they scaled back on it for reasons of not making it silly or meme worthy.

Then all the interviews for My Policeman came out and Dawson and Styles addressing their approach to love scenes and their friendship and how they handle it now. They speak of it rather beautifully and they want you to see it that way. But also address their roles as actors friends, the promise to always smile and hug forever.

And that brought me back to Brokeback Mountain and Jake and Heath were protective of their roles. Even Jake later coming out and saying that Heath refused to be and Oscar skit because he didn't want it to be a "gay joke". He just wanted people to see the love.

So again it brought back to why in my head the change in the promotion changed and this really was what I was thinking. If they make Buddie Canon I don't think they ever want it to be funny or like a meme you know. I'm not implying either are deep in the closet characters but they are definitely different then say TK and Carlos. Especially TK who's main struggles aren't his sexuality, it's his internal trauma. Or that they are even the same as Henren.

Especially coupled with the fact that both Oliver and Ryan are very masculine men you know. They are friends. I feel like they want it to be respected.

Also off topic Didn't you also post some lovely gifs of was it Russian WW2 military queer movie? I never watched the show but I remember looking them up after you posted them. What was it called?

I probably sound a little caffeine induced but hopefully some of my point made sense.

Hi wonderful Nonnie!

Thank you so much for this lovely ask! And if it’s okay, I’ll start by addressing Firebird, the Russian queer film for which I posted the gifset you mentioned here. I am SO happy you liked the set (the original post has a link to the movie’s homepage, BTW), and you should def watch the film! It’s visually stunning, the love story is very moving IMO and the thing that got to me the most is that it’s a real story. It’s not WWII, but the 1970′s, the height of the communist regime. As someone whose family suffered under the communists after the end of the Nazis and Fascists’ era, I have to admit that speaks to me. My great uncle wrote a book about what it was like for my family, being Jews under the communists, when the individual was considered the property of the state, so it could do with him or her as it wishes, and when anyone could report you to the party with real or made up accusations that were always taken at face value. Add antisemitism, homophobia or any other type of bigotry to that type of society, and you can understand why a gay love story during that time is especially poignant. One of the two men whose romance is depicted was involved in the making of the film, because he wanted their story known. Here’s just the first gif from that set:

As for promotion, I have no doubt that Ryan and Oliver would not want Buddie taken as a joke. Both of these men are, like the other actors you mentioned, very protective of their characters and clearly understand them in depth. They’ve also both spoken up in favor of Buddie, so should our ship go canon, undoubtedly they’d want it to be treated with respect. IDK if that’s the only reason why the promotion has been shaped as it has been. There’s also been drama that I think in general made Ryan for a long while there wanna do PR a lot less. But I have no doubt that if and when Buddie go canon, they will talk about it, and will do so with the utmost love for this pairing and their family unit. I think they all know what Buddie would mean to queer viewers, like when you look at that supportive vid JLH sent for a same sex couple who are Buddie fans. Hell, even Gavin, who plays Chris, has been asked about Buddifer becoming a family, and he said he would love that. We have never seen them treating the idea of Buddie with anything other than respect and positivity, and if that’s the case before our boys have even gone canon...

I hope I managed to answer the question! I’m so grateful for your kind words and for your interest in my perspective. Have a beautiful day, lovely! xoxox

(and as always, if anyone’s looking for it, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #christopher diaz #firebird #pride #mm #ask #anon ask #fandom love #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

[kissagii]

an infodump on s&b (for @sleeping-snapdragons)

this series is very very important to me and even though there's a lot of discourse regarding the (sometimes questionable) decisions by the showrunners i'm obsessed with literally every aspect of it

cause when i discovered the first trilogy i was like a whole different person. the person who read those books was a 6th grade girl that was lost in the world and about to fall in love with a craft that would follow her through so many developments in his life. tamar was my favorite character - i was in love with this walking armory an unhealthy amount and seriously thought i just "really liked her as a character." but that was really just the bisexuality stirring, then having tamar be canonically queer was probably the most important thing for me at the time because it broke me out of my naive worldview and showed me that queerness was, well, real. it feels so weird to be a trans man simping for a canonically lesbian character but seeing her on screen, with her axes and eyeliner and fiery attitude, how could i not? the part of me that loved her then still loves her now and the actress absolutely slayed the role (just look at the gifsets omg)

and then there's six of crows, which freshman-year ness latched onto so desperately because it was queer representation and it was good and being able to see two characters be happy together was a sort of thing i hungered for. and now they're on screen, walking and talking and moving, helping each other through the internal conflicts they're both simultaneously facing, and even though their relationship was rushed i think it makes so much room for the development that's to come. and of course the actors are literally amazing and i really don't get why people are hating on them because every little change they made was perfect. and not to mention jespers outfits omg he's my role model with that stupid brown yellow and purple tattersall suit with orange socks and a fucking kilt.

oh and then there's nikolai, who i properly hated until like a year ago, he's insufferable and scheming and stupid and charming and really fucking beautiful. he's a dreamer and an inventor and he's so annoying i'd kiss him to shut him up and i'm gonna put one of his quotes as my phone background because he has so many good ones

and there's david who's just so me-coded because he's a nerd that's horrible with human interaction and has all these funky mannerisms that i also have (like holding up one finger when you want to make a point but don't want to interrupt) and he said so many of the iconic lines that melted my heart in the books and he should be the role model of what men should be and his ending is so unfair to me and all the other fans because how could they do that to us

basically this show is everything past me could have ever wanted and it's everything current me wants and i'm so not okay

#dreaming ⋆｡°✩ #sorry that was excessive :0

[captainsantiagos]

BRIDGERTON (2020) || SANDITON (2019)

#bridgerton #sanditon #sanditonedit #bridgertonedit #daphne bridgerton #simon basset #charlotte heywood #sidney parker #charlotte x sidney #daphne x simon #saphne #sidlotte #daphnesbrdgerton #viviansternwood #perioddramaedit #period drama #graphical #GRUMPY MEN AND THEIR SMART ASS LADIES #also seeing these two men in this gifset together #i am without speech

[knowlesian]

has anyone done a gifset that’s just comparing izzy tearing up when ed chokes him/The Whole Toe thing? 

i only ask because i need to stare at izzy ‘fuck you we were NOT MUPPETS YESTERDAY oh shit, oh fuuuuuck yes it’s happening, glory hallelujah my boyfriend captain is back, i’m done being gaslit by you wholesome felt twats’ hands experiencing the realignment of his fucked up little world on an endless loop.

I MEAN. if you think about it, izzy’s from the version of black sails Certain Oblivious People thought that show was before the “they’re gay pirates, harold, deal with it or be unable to watch this show because they’re getting their gay all over the main thrust of the narrative as we speak” beat dropped. 

this means he is subtextually gay as shit for blackbeard in freaky/violent, public ways and even fucking gayer still for edward in ...also freaky/violent, but softer and more private ways and all the while textually speaking, They’re Just Good Friends forever and ever amen.

izzy is from a world where there is a rule: you work out the way you wanna fuck the guy you spend all your time with by stabbing things together. other people, each other, all phallic imagery is allowed and indeed, encouraged, so long as you use objects that evoke “soooo, this is supposed to be a dick thing, right?” but never push it beyond the realm of subtext. izzy can have loyalty and shared power, and as long as he cashes in his tokens sparingly meaningful gazes and clasping arms or patting each other on the shoulder and letting the touch linger juuuuust long enough to make it kinda gay are all on the approved list. in izzy’s world you bleed for each other, you kill and die for each other, you are the most important people in each other’s lives—as long as the text retains plausible deniability it’s Not Like That. 

maybe you can have a lil it’s not gay if it’s in a threeway (or a love triangle!) action as a treat and if somebody almost dies/is thought to be dead a hug is allowed, but your love better not even fucking think about speaking its name. 

honestly, even if izzy felt like pushing that barrier, what would he say? the sacred texts to translate what izzy feels for the man who becomes edward when they’re alone don’t even exist where he’s from. they have words for what he might want do in bed and what the world thinks of men like him, but love’s just not applicable. the songs he sings are not ones of love because not to put too fine a point on it, but: in izzy’s world, love is for men who don’t have boners you can see from space for other men. he’s swallowed all the lies the world told him about love whole and made them part of his identity.

with all that in mind, let’s look at how if you tilt your head and squint, ofmd is not just a joyful and affirming celebration of finding your community of equally if not identically bizarre fellows, but also a deeply depressing pirate love story as experienced by izzy ‘the only non-muppet around and not okay with it’ hands.

before i get into the actual meat of the two scenes, i want to stop and marvel at one specific part of the leadup and why ed decides to try and introduce the front of izzy’s neck to the back. quote time!!!!

Not some namby-pamby in a silk gown, pining for his boyfriend. 

like, CHRIST. fucking WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. why are they so good? i gotta take a quick structural analysis break to handle the way the writers packed like... a whole fucking essay on izzy’s deeply toxic pirate masculinity and summed up a point i will spend this whole insane post trying to express in one tidy line. i ache to be this efficient a writer.

i’m gonna break it into pieces, because they all deserve attention.

we start out with what’s edging into a gentle slur, but is ultimately defanged by being nowhere close to on par with the uglier ways a modern audience knows he could phrase that. i think it’s worth spotlighting how izzy never quite says anything on its face hateful that i can think of? he’s not supportive, that’s for fucking certain, but unless i’ve forgotten something (very possible, often true) this is the closest he comes to fulfilling the homophobic gay trope in the content of his speech and not just how he says things/his vibes. 

(though let us make no mistake here, his vibes are rock fucking hard homophobic gay. jesus christ with this one, bless his heart.)

i can’t tell if it’s a writer choice or character choice. my instinct says it’s both! anyway, either way i’m into it. could even be a subtle hint izzy’s closer to dragging the canon kicking and screaming into the dark where he feels more comfortable. 

now we move over to izzy mocking edward’s dressing gown. this team HATES ME, because it’s not enough to just have him essentially say “take off that soft fancy shit and rub some dirt on it, real men don’t cry”. oh no, not for these absolute combopack monster/lighthouses! of course they have izzy leave off dressing and just say gown. of COURSE. we understand as an audience they don’t mean gown as in dress because the visuals fill that gap for us, but by deleting one word they effectively have izzy imply edward’s a big fucking girl without needing to have him actually say it.

i mean... come on. come ON.

pining and boyfriend are also excellent choices; pining implies weakness and fading from a former glory, and boyfriend is uh... boyfriend! what it says on the tin, but it also throws in tones of infantilization by leaning on ‘boy’ instead of a more adult-associated choice like lover. 

anyway onto what i’m supposed to be doing: crying about how con is lowkey playing out a grand fucking greek tragedy in the background at literally every second he’s on-screen as izzy and i’ve gone down the rabbit hole about it. honestly they should give that man extra hazard pay, he could have hurt himself going this hard.

look at the way his face softens when edward chokes him. look at the tears in his eyes and the tremble in his hand when he reaches out, the un-fucking-bearable tenderness. the way he doesn’t fight ed’s violence, he encourages and leans into it. (because once upon a time in private, izzy was allowed to know that blackbeard could be edward; he was the only person who knew that, before stede rolled on up in his stupid fucking boat and his stupid fucking pants and unearthed ed and ruined izzy’s whole fucking life.)

speaking of:

Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard, not Edward. Edward better watch his fucking step.

the way i feel about ‘i serve blackbeard’ does not even need to be EXPLAINED. if you’re bothering to read this shit you know the face i made when that line entered my ears and lodged itself in my brain, never to leave, because you made it too. i won’t profane even this Most Unholy post with my feelings about the use of that particular verb there. it’s good. i like it. well done team, no notes and the end. nobody fucking perceive me.

more high mindedly: i love how izzy uses edward here, not ed. it reframes the “using edward is a privilege i am given by my captain” to “saying edward is a gift i can take back until you prove you’re my captain again”. as far as izzy is concerned, ed doesn’t even exist. blackbeard’s his captain and always has been and thus commands his loyalty, but edward’s in the doghouse until he thinks long and hard about what he’s done.

there’s also a beat there that i think stands as what izzy considers Having a Talk About Their Relationship.

(...well fuck. well, FUCK. izzy thought they were dating, didn’t he? he totally did. holy shit that’s perfect. they were subtextually dating and stede started actually dating ed and that’s just another level of his reality stede broke. oh my god, this little ratman. this fucking IDIOT. his life is the worst. it’s amazing and so funny and also no-jokes sad. SO GOOD.)

so i guess that means in izzy’s world, that was how you say “we might still have to work together, but you’re sleeping on the fucking couch until i sort out how i feel about your little fling”. blackbeard is his captain and he serves him; that’s business. edward is his Subtextual Boyfriend, and from izzy’s perspective edward has been really shitting the bed lately.

honestly: awww, look at him go! trying to communicate like a real boy. that’s one mangled ‘you tried’ star for izzy.

all that would be enough to make me want to fling myself into the sun, it really would. i would still be screaming about izzy and the way con makes sure izzy’s gaze always comes back to rest on ed in every scene they're in together, no matter what else is going on, for the rest of my life.

but oh wait, it GETS WORSE. because here it comes: the toe scene. buckle up, get ready for this to Go Places because i am going full galaxy brain. let’s talk about love as consumption re: izzy’s feelings about doing the Weird Vore.

there’s the unavoidable jesus shit all up in this scene’s guts so i honestly could stop here and just scream WHY? WHY, WHY DO A FUCKING COMMUNION METAPHOR WITH HIS OWN TOE STANDING IN FOR THE HOLY HOST? YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE SICK AND I LOVE IT!!! SIT AND THINK ABOUT YOUR CHOICES AND THEN NEVER EVER CHANGE, AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT: GO AHEAD AND GET WORSE for a couple hours instead of moving on, but i’ll get there eventually. 

aka: if you ever thought to yourself ‘i wonder if anybody’s gonna talk way too long about the constant and super amazing queering and/or subversion of christian imagery and the religion itself in this show’ i got your back there, just you hold tight. ohhhhh baby i got so! many! thoughts! on! that!

for today though, i’m gonna stick with the way izzy processes love and his relationship with ed.

the way ed gets rid of lucius, layers his armor back on piece by piece, and then sees himself reflected in an implement of violence and names himself a monster, not a lighthouse, before he goes to visit izzy is... A Lot. i want to talk more later! but it felt worth mentioning here as his gateway between the new world he thinks stede denied him and the old world he used to share with izzy. 

similarly, the way we get a shot of izzy’s bare, vulnerable feet and black loincloth thing-y before ed takes his toe makes me want to wade right into the proverbial sea!!! i hate this show.

the mix of tenderness and menace taika flips between here is just... like, i know this post is about con and izzy and i will GET THERE but because taika’s affect entirely changing here is important to izzy, i get to gush about it. he’s just so good. 

anyway, izzy. izzy, who has a mouth full of his own toe and edward all up in his grill and thanks to the Weird Vore is having a religious and a sexual experience all at once. izzy, with a love song for broken men in his heart and tears in his eyes, because in this moment he is full of nothing but awe.

the way we use ‘awesome’ now is pretty casual; it means we like something. that something is good. my lunch was awesome, your hat is awesome, we had an awesome time. good, but not necessarily noteworthy. you forget awesome things that happen to you all the time.

in the bible, when something is worthy of awe, you drop to your knees and cry and beg for mercy because the glory and power of what you have just witnessed cannot be expressed by clumsy human tongues; to be in even an echo of the presence of god is to experience the overwhelming urge to absolutely shit yourself. edward’s hand around his throat gave him hope, but this clicks everything back into place for him because the violent, ugly evidence of edward’s love for him is working its way down his gullet. hurrah! life is good again, and by good izzy means horrifying.

so yeah, izzy is chock-full of awe. edward is the face of his god and real flesh his communion; this is a motherfucking religious experience. bow down bitches, because he is worshipping.

(also, he probably came in his pants.)

the thing that really takes me to “fuck it, i’m out, i can’t anymore” place is the way the method of consumption proves the lie of izzy’s ecstasy. edward isn’t providing him any real nourishment, ed is feeding izzy himself, shoving his own toxic notions of love down his throat and making sure he chews them real good first. he’s not consuming the man he loves, he’s eating his own fucking tail.

i just wanna talk to the person who came up with this idea. maybe i’ll beat them up in the parking lot of a denny’s, maybe i’ll cry on them forever. maybe i’ll buy them a fruit basket so expensive i will have to go into debt forever. who knows! i am both a monster and a lighthouse, myself.

the tatty scrap izzy clutches close to his chest and calls his heart might only exist in metaphor, but it’s just as red as ed’s and unlike our boy, the claret being spilled by izzy’s love most fucking certainly isn’t wine. violent and transactional, nasty brutish and short; these are the words izzy learned for the feelings in his chest. it’s like jack said before buttons took his ass out with what i can only assume is the power of having the most amazing facial expressions i have ever seen: pirates don’t have friends, and they don’t fall in love. they’re just in various stages of fucking each other over and in izzy’s sad, repressed world, they don’t even get to fuck each other in the bargain.

but that’s okay: he doesn’t need that. the story izzy lived in before stede ruined his life told him time and time again: it’s not about that. 

so this is good, and this is right. with edward looming over him, subtextually fucking the shit out of him but not making it gay in a way a straight audience would be unable to ignore, the world makes sense again. he’s got the taste of his own flesh in his mouth and blood on his teeth. he’s home. 

so long to that muppet bullshit about ‘talking out our feelings’ and ‘giving each other hugs’ and ‘oh my FUCKING GOD get some therapy you leather-clad sad sack who is 1000000% going to die alone in a puddle of his own piss if he doesn’t get it together’. fuck emotional literacy right in the ear! who’s she? izzy’s proud to say he’s never met her. 

all that joy, the glimpse into a world where love is a word that could ever apply izzy was all a bad dream, and now he’s awake. this is the real world: this is as close to a love song as men like izzy can ever hope to shape with their untrained tongues. 

hey la, hey la, motherfuckers. his boyfriend’s back.

...so yeah anyway, anybody seen that gifset?

#our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #the silly/genius intersectional muppet extravaganza #my ofmd meta #izzy hands #poor poor izzy. #i sat down to do a 'quick freewrite' #hours later i bring you: this insane shit #i call it the ballad of izzy hands: big dumb stupidhead who is not a muppet #why do i care so much? #why do i have so much to say about this? #i just do #anyway this happened #izzy makes my brain cry #he's so FUNNY #i want to laugh in his stupid tattooed face #i also want to pat his hand and yank him towards being a muppet #JUST FUCK LUCIUS IZZY #you wanna do it so much it makes you look stupid anyway #pete can come too tbqh #or watch or just hear about it the point is: maybe i WILL find izzy love??? #yes the tags had to be like this they needed to match the energy of the post #ps: izzy's theme song is rabbit hole by natkills #i don't make the rules it just is #i abandoned the framing device SO FAST #yolo

[rueluxprince]

Different taboo topics between English and Chinese fandoms

Because of course there is, different cultural context, different things people find abhorrent, and so one must take extra care not to go all “if you don’t also find the things I find disgusting, then you are being disgusting” when one is entering into a fandom that was not of your culture. *nudge* *nudge*

Case in point: Chinese fandom, does not really care if you ship incest, or underage. They really don’t give a shit. Yeah the shippers wouldn’t do it in real life, but if someone does an incest side-pairing in a fantasy webnovel the readers wouldn’t bat an eye. Like, Thor/Loki is still one of the biggest ships in Chinese pop culture today, while Thor is Patron God of Lesbians in the West with no prominent ship of his own. MCU!Peter Parker/Tony Stark is also pretty huge there, while in the West those two are kept strictly familial. And that’s not counting the literal thousands of Chinese webnovels with the specific trope of “old and wise master raises poor but cute disciple, disciple grows to want to top his master.”

Even when Jin Guangyao’s various crimes were revealed, the fact he accidentally married his biological half-sister had the smallest splash. His stans didn’t really care and proceeded to make a lot “Qin Su: I am his First and Proper Wife until my death! And you! Lan Xichen! Will forver remain his side piece!” crack fanfics. His antis mostly focused on his murders. No one really dragged him for that? It won him a lot of pity points actually? Whereas here there were a lot of Horrifed Gasping when that plot was revealed.

(Sidenote: incest ships depends also depends on the chemistry of the characters, like you would with any other ship. Jiang Cheng/Wei Wuxian is decently big in China, in the West not so much. But no one anywhere really pairs Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian together, or her and Jiang Cheng. The latter two ships is way too familial and filial to even be conceivably turned romantic.)

On the other hand, Chinese fandom does not take to polyamory or polygamy or even “I had previous relationships before I entered this one where the plot things started happening.” They do not like it. The ship must be exclusive and monogamous. One of them can have some previous relationships but the audience will hold that as a black mark against their soul forever onwards. Seriously. To the point where a character who had several previous romances is often used as a narrative shorthand to show how horrible a person they are.

Again: platonic 3zun, decently popular in China. Romantic polyamorous 3zun, does not exist, a blasphemy to even suggest it. You are either a Nieyao or a Xiyao or a Nielan. You are either Stony or Stucky or WinterIron, you pick a lane and you stick to it. No Chinese fan will ever suggest “just do a threesome.” Absolutely not. Inconceivable. They will send you puking emojis and “I’ll book a psychologist appointment for you” gifsets.

(Sidenote: legit. I watched this C-Drama called Love is Sweet in October and the love triangle follows this phenomenon almost exactly. There were solid foundations for the main girl to go with either the male lead or the second male lead or for the two men to come together. Good basis for a poly ship right? Well. I’ve found exactly one fanfiction that had those three be in a poly romance, and it’s on Ao3 and in English. Everywhere in Chinese? Three different monogamous ships producing their own fan edits and fanfictions, ignoring the other two completely. Seeing this unfold in real life is extremely trippy tbh.)

And I honestly have no idea how to dissect this. The closest explanation (read: bullshiting) I have is that fanworks and fandom activities and shipping are largely driven by women, and whom, unconsciously or otherwise, chose to back away from the deeply ingrained cultural harm their fandom taboos has historically wrought upon them.

Historically, in the West, it was socially acceptable or even encouraged for close cousins to marry (hello Hapsburg family, honestly all the European nobility. Also Darwin, he did that too). While in Ancient China it was never socially or even legally acceptable (you can’t marry your cousin if they are related to you in three generations. So if you share the same great-grandparent, no can do. And they would know. One does not mess with Ancient Chinese record keeping.)

Whereas in the West, Europe and North America, monogamy was largely the norm for marriage. The nuclear family is the staple. Husband and wife and not legally recognized mistress on the side if the husband is a bit of an asshole. In China, polygamy was the norm. Men could have as many concubines as they could afford, Qianlong Emperor had close to forty. There are also inheritance laws and ceremonial regulations and all manner of legal rules giving them legal status. And the wife would have to tough it out and bear it and be nice to them, or else they are labeled as “jealous” and “not a good wife” and that is enough grounds for a divorce.

And as the modern fandom is often a place where anti-culture scenarios and relationships are imagined and interrogated, it can be argued that fandoms from different cultures have different taboos because they grew as backlash to different historically oppressive cultural practices.

#do note though #that the last four paragraphs is just me bullshitting #I saw a line and went right up to it and started yanking #everything before that though #still holds up #my thing #cultural difference #Chinese culture #mdzs #mdzs meta #stucky #how do I tag this #MCU Spidey #Wei wuxian #cultural notes #cql #Jin guangyao #xiyao #3zun

[blackstarising]

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #ted lasso spoilers #fandom racism

[scuttling]

In Those Jeans

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 2,599 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Blow jobs, Thigh riding, Car sex, Unprotected sex, Semi-public sex Summary: After almost two years of dating, you and Aaron still can't keep your eyes—or hands—off of each other, even at a company picnic; but who could blame you, when he looks like that? *Inspired by this gifset I think we all reblogged last night. I'm feral for Hotch in jeans. 🤤 Link to AO3 or read below! As Aaron’s girlfriend of almost two years, there have been countless times when you’ve gotten to see the rarer sides of his personality, things he doesn’t show at work, or at least not often.

You’ve seen his silly side with Jack when he builds pillow forts, plays tag in the backyard, makes messes in the kitchen. You’ve seen his sweet side when he gives you a back rub just because, makes your favorite dinner when you’ve had a stressful week, when he’s there to talk or just cuddle after appointments with your therapist, which he knows can bring your mood down a little.

You’ve seen him tender, romantic, playful, emotional, loving and caring and capable, but nothing compares to the hidden knowledge you have of one aspect of his personality: your man is horny as hell, and also kind of a freak.

At work, of course, he is the epitome of stoic, expressionless, buttoned-up suit, but a little flash of panty, or a sultry look, or even a well-timed innuendo is enough to have you knees up in the backseat of a government-owned SUV before the rest of your team even leaves the parking garage.

You silently thank god for tinted windows; you not-so-silently thank god for Aaron.

It’s amazing, because you are the same way, half turned-on at any given time of the day, catapulted to full on horny mess depending on the look on his face, the outfit he’s wearing, whether or not he calls you by your last name—before you were dating, you longed to hear him say your first name, but now it’s the impersonal bark of your surname that really gets you going.

Because you share the same predisposition for being down to fuck most of the time, all it takes is a raised eyebrow or a sway of the hips to signal you’re in the mood for something to happen, and if it’s physically feasible and won’t get you arrested, you usually follow through.

It’s how you end up getting absolutely wrecked in the back of the SUV at an FBI family picnic event—you don’t feel great about it, but it is what it is, and it all started with a pair of jeans. Aaron is hot. There’s no doubt about it, and it’s not up for debate. He doesn’t see it, but that just makes him hotter; if other people don’t see it, that just makes them stupid. You see it, though, everyday, in the smallest of ways, can’t stop seeing it. When he gets ready for the picnic, throws on a soft, worn t-shirt and a pair of jeans that fit him so well it’s almost criminal, you make a noise in the back of your throat, and Aaron grins.

“What’s happening over there?” he asks as you sit on the edge of the bed, hooking the strap of your sandal over your heel. You exhale, scowl.

“I think you know very well what’s happening.” He chooses a belt from the back of the door, slides it through the loops on the jeans, and your mouth waters. “Fuck, Aaron.”

“No time for that,” he says, looking up at you through his stupidly dark eyelashes, and he clasps the buckle, smooths his hands down his thighs. You’re going to be soaked before you even leave the house.

“I beg to differ.” You stand from the bed, twirl a little in a blue sundress you know Aaron won’t be able to resist for long. Two can play at this game: if he wants to watch you slowly lose your composure in public, you’re sure as hell not going to make it easy.

“Ugh. Love those little dresses,” he murmurs, stepping toward you, but you shake your head and wag a finger at him.

“Nope, no time for that,” you say, but you giggle when he narrows his eyes and stalks closer anyway.

He tackles you, tosses you back on the bed, kisses your mouth and neck, then whispers dirty things into your ear and rubs you through your panties until you come so loud it could wake the dead. You undo that stupid belt, tug his jeans down just enough to free his cock, toss your hair over your shoulder, and blow him like you’re being graded on it—if that were the case, you’d be getting extra credit for technique, no doubt about it.

You leave a little later than intended, and you know you just made a huge mistake, because getting him out of those jeans again is going to be all you can think about for the rest of the day; you’re not certain what’s going through his head, but you know for a fact he’s thinking pretty much the same thing.

Even though you’re both bummed that it’s Jack’s weekend with Haley and he's missing the picnic, you have to admit it’s kind of good timing, because you don’t let yourself get distracted when he is with you, but Aaron is looking so damn distracting today. You sit at a picnic table with JJ and Garcia, drinking iced tea and watching Will and Aaron play catch with Henry and a couple other kids. You’d say this is just a tactic, because seeing Aaron interact with kids always gives you baby (and babymaking) fever, but you know deep down he just loves children, and that makes your heart warm more than anything.

When he lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face? Now that’s a tactic, and a damn good one. You can’t hold back your whimper, and your friends take one look at you and share an amused glance.

“It’s a family picnic,” JJ says, scolding and teasing all at once. “Keep it in your pants.”

“It’s his pants you need to be worried about,” you mutter, and you fan yourself with your hand to try to bring yourself down a notch. That, of course, does not work, so you sigh, stand from the table, pour a cup of lemonade, and give them a wink before walking over to Aaron’s side. You get his attention with an innocent look, hand over the lemonade with a sweet smile.

“You look hot. And thirsty,” you tell him, and he smiles, tips his head back, and drinks it all in one gulp. You watch him swallow, squeeze your thighs together.

“So do you,” he says with a hint of a smirk, handing back the cup, and he leans in to whisper in your ear. “Thanks for the lemonade; now let me watch you walk away.” You pull back, lick your lips slowly and turn around, throwing him a look over your shoulder as you make your way back to the picnic table. Emily and Derek are there now too, and Emily laughs when you take your seat.

“Two years in and you still look at each other like that? Please tell me your secret,” she says with a grin, taking a sip of her iced tea.

“Tons of quality orgasms,” you answer with a fond sigh, tucking your chin in the palm of your hand and watching Aaron cross the lot. There’s something so powerful about his stride that it makes you horny just to watch him walk; your downstairs brain is so stupid. “He also makes really good jalapeno mac and cheese.” The answer to your question, when am I going to get fucked by my gorgeous boyfriend?, will be answered shortly, you’re fairly certain; you have a good feeling, because you’re talking to an agent that works on the floor above yours, and the strap of your dress has fallen down your shoulder, and he keeps glancing at it. You’d fix it, but that would only draw more attention to it, and you can already feel Aaron looking at you.

He doesn’t get jealous often, but get him in the right mood and his dumb caveman instincts switch from fight or flight to fight or fuck pretty quickly; when he heads your way with swift, purposeful steps, you’re pretty sure you know which one has been activated today.

“Hey. Time to go,” he says, looking over your face; he turns to nod at the guy you’re talking to, then very slowly hooks his finger in the strap of your dress and slides it back into place, making eye contact with you while he does it. You don’t know why that makes you so goddamn hot, but your breathing picks up and you bite your lip, take his hand when he offers it.

You don’t say goodbye to anyone, just follow him quickly to the car and climb into the backseat when he opens the door. The second he closes it behind him, his mouth is on yours, and you fist your fingers in his t-shirt, hitch a leg over his hip, and pull him closer.

“I want you, I need you,” you breathe into the kiss, and he slides one hand around your back, uses the other to push up your dress and grab a palmful of your ass.

“I know, baby. God, I want you. You look fucking perfect in that dress; I want to tear it off.” It’s sort of expensive, and pretty, but fuck, you’re going to let him. He shifts so his back is against the seat, pulls you into his lap, and you moan when he presses you right on top of his cock, hard and bulging against the seam of his jeans. “Feel what you do to me, when you’re looking like a goddamn angel and other men can’t take their eyes off of you?” You tug on his hair, kiss him roughly, move your hands to his belt, but he stops you with gentle fingers. “First I want you to ride my thigh. You’ve been staring at them all day; do you want to?”

“Fuck, absolutely,” you whine, and he puts his hands on your hips, shifts you so your knees are on either side of his perfect, firm, denim clad thigh and encourages you to grind against it. You don’t need much encouragement, but he eases down one of the straps of your dress and maneuvers it so that he can bare your breast, get his lips around your nipple while you work to get yourself off. “Oh, god yeah.”

You plant your hands on his shoulders, dig your nails in through the soft fabric, and slide against him like a needy, horny teenager. You’re wet, and he’s undoubtedly going to be wet too by the time you’re done with him, leg soaked with your come—god, that’s a hot prospect. Both of you are panting, not from exertion but arousal, and you move a hand to the back of his head, grip his hair in your fingers while he sucks and softly bites your nipple. When he pulls back, his lips are wet, and you capture them in a kiss.

“Yeah, you’re doing so good, keep going. Keep humping, baby, come on me.” He gets a hand in your hair, kisses your neck, and you cling to him for dear life, broad back and shoulders beneath your hands as you work your hips desperately in pursuit of your orgasm. “So fucking perfect, come on me,” he mutters against your throat, and you hug him close, absolutely lose it as your climax makes your body tense from shoulders to toes.

You moan in his ear like an absolute slut—if you are one, he’s made you that way, so it’s only fair—and he kisses your mouth, deep, rough, wet kisses that ensure your desire does not dip in the slightest. You feel dirty and incredible, but no more relieved or satisfied than you were ten minutes ago.

A little bit of Aaron is never enough; no amount of Aaron is ever enough.

He makes sure you can hold yourself up and then takes his hands off of you, opens his belt and his pants and pushes them down his thighs far enough that you’ll be comfortable. You slide off of his leg to slip your panties off—they’re useless at this point anyway—and he gets his hands on your hips and puts you in his lap, holds you up so you can line his cock up with your entrance and let him press inside.

“Mmh, fuck, Aaron,” you gasp, and with the way he looks at you, eyes dark and serious and possessive, you know this will be quick for the both of you. You wrap one hand around his bicep, press back against his knee with the other; he slides his hands up to your waist, dragging the skirt of your dress up with him so he can watch himself disappear inside you, which is ten different kinds of sexy.

“Thinking about this all day—burying my cock inside your sweet, tight pussy, coming deep inside you. Do you like it, getting fucked here because I want you so bad I can’t stand to wait?” Even though you know you shouldn’t, you do, and you nod, moan yes when he fucks up inside you, strong thighs flexing. “Me too, love it, love you.”

“Love you,” you murmur while you bounce in his lap, eyes on his, tongue slipping over your lips while you snap your hips against his thrusts. “Gonna milk your cock, take every last drop; greedy for it.” Aaron groans, tightens his hands on your waist, and you clench around him when he comes, riding him fast and thorough; you follow quickly, leaning forward to rest your head against his shoulder while you shudder through the pleasure.

His hands are gentle after, smoothing up your back, around your neck, and he pulls you closer for a soft, sweet, passionate kiss. When it breaks, you smile against each other's lips.

“Tease,” you whisper, smoothing your hands over his throat, his jaw. “New unwritten rule: if you wear those jeans in public, I get as much sex as I want for the rest of the night.” He chuckles, but ultimately nods.

“Deal. New unwritten rule: when we’re out in public and someone is looking at you like that guy was looking at you, I have permission to throw you over my shoulder and take you home and remind you why it is that you belong with me.” You pull him close for a hard kiss and grin.

“Deal, caveman. So what do you want to do now?” He wrinkles his nose in contemplation, straightens up the top half of your dress.

“I think I want to go home and tear this off of you as previously mentioned,” he says; you bite your lip and nod. “What do you want to do?”

That’s a loaded question, but at the moment, only one thing really comes to mind.

“Fuck me wearing these clothes again; I don’t care where or how, you can surprise me.”

Aaron is, unsurprisingly, on board with that plan; you slip off of him, smooth out your dress, and he pulls his pants up—they are still very wet from your first orgasm, and you rub the spot with the edge of your dress to no avail.

“Don’t get pulled over, Agent,” you joke, because that would be both very hard and very easy to explain, and he groans like you’ve just done something very sexy.

“Love it when you call me Agent,” he says, pulling you in for a kiss, and you plan some super hot roleplay for later and hop out of the car so you can climb into the front seat like the fully-functioning, non-horny adult that you are.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader

[canonicallysoulmates]

Last year, I did a post looking back at some of the j2 moments 2019 and the 2010’s decade had given us, this year with it being so shit and so many of us needing some cheering up I thought I’d do a 2020 version.

So before we say fuck off to 2020 here are some of the j2 moments this year has given us:

SM isn’t everything but it’s still cute when the boys interact with each other online and the year actually started with it, with both boys liking each other’s New Year’s pictures with their kiddos:

X

Those weren’t the only SM interactions, on a more recent example by which I mean December they had this cute little exchange under a pic Jared posted were he was sleeping:

XX

And Jensen liked this cute pic of his smiling boy:

XX

Of course nothing compares to the best SM moment of the year: Jared’s beautiful, emotional, touching, heartfelt birthday message for Jensen 🥺:

And Jensen’s reply ❤:

X

Before everything went under lockdown we got one convention, among the moments we got from it were:

- Jared talking about his birthday post to Jensen, calling Jensen his boy and saying that he has pictures of him and Jensen just hanging out on his phone

full gifset

- Fist bump

- And a hug

full gifset

To me one of the best j2 moments 2020 gave us was the release of this amazing EW photoshoot that I will forever be in love with (especially this cover I will never be over this cover) 😍

This photoshoot was the gift that kept on giving! Not only did we get beautiful new photos of the boys, but we also got some amazing content from the bts like

full gifset

Look at them! The way Jensen closes his eyes and leans into Jared, the way they look at each other this is what love looks like people! 🥰 Find someone who will look at you like how j2 look are looking at each other in that gif. 

And even the accompanying interview gave us a little something with Jared saying that he burrowed strength from Jensen when he was struggling with the job

Padalecki, 37, who’s been vocal about his struggle in the early seasons, says. “I borrowed strength from Jensen.” x

And this is barely the tip of the iceberg I’m just providing some examples of what that photoshoot gave us but it was a feast!

Summer seemed to be the never ending dry spell, many wondered ‘will we ever get j2 content again?’ and the answer was...yes!

Starting with a little interview the boys did with small moments such as

full gifset

And Jensen confirming he and Jared still live near one another.

When Jensen appeared for the second time on Rosenbaum’s podcast he spend a good part of it being fond over Jared and making them sound totally married sharing a story about Jared’s preferred breakfast burrito and how he and Jared have bickered over it and of course starting of the panel by making it clear covid or no covid him and Jared would be making out:

full gifset

The boys had a joint virtual Q&A panel filled with moments, they were joking around, they made each other laugh, and it all started with Jensen saying how handsome Jared looked.

When filming wrapped up Jared and Jensen had their own celebration with dinner and champagne at one of their favorite restaurants:

"Jared and I wrapped on Thursday, and Saturday night he and I went to one of our all-time favorite restaurants, just us, and toasted with some champagne," Ackles says. x

Those two can’t get enough of each other so they road tripped part of the way home together!

“He and I just drove together all of our stuff across the border. So, we drove up together for season 1 and we drove away together for season 15.” - Jensen in the Chelsea Davis interview

Jared mentioning their road trip during a TVLine interview & during a TVInsider interview 

With Supernatural coming to an end a lot of interviews took place and provided us with content:

The Talk interview gave us a married moment, when the boys were asked who had the messier dressing room Jensen replied Jared did to which Jared literally went no sir, no sir. 

The CNN interview had the boys admitting not working together will be an adjustment with Jensen saying “So, it will be different, and that’s probably when he and I will call each other and be like, ‘I miss you so much!’” as well as this moment  "Oh, I thought you meant we fell in love," Ackles quips."We fell in love, too," Padalecki jokes. When I add that plotline was only in fan fiction, Ackles retorts, "Or was it?" Padalecki erupts in laughter. "There it goes the internet."

In an interview with Chelsea Davis Jensen once again brought up that him and Jared will be contacting each other from their new shows

“Jared said it, he’s like I don’t think it’s really gonna set in until we walk unto the set of some other show. But that’s fine cause then we’ll just turn around and call each other and be like ‘what’s your show like?’”

Jared having a little fond moment over Jensen during one of the TVline segments

Jensen saying that 15yrs ago him and Jared got on a rollercoaster (Supernatural) and that he couldn’t have asked for a better partner:

full gifset

Jared comparing him and Jensen finishing the show to the time they ran the Seattle Marathon together (yes, the marathon they ran together and crossed the finish line holding hands) 😭❤: 

“There were a lot of tears all over but Ackles and I were looking at each other like, ‘Man’. It was kind of like finishing the Seattle Marathon. We did it. Dude, we did it, you know? We put in the work…I’ve been with you for 15 years, 15-½ years. I’ve seen you sweat. I’ve seen you bleed. I’ve seen you hurt. I’ve seen you going through stuff personally and put it aside for this show, for your character and I know I’ve done the same and it was bittersweet.”  x

Jensen talking about his and Jared’s Impala’s in the USA Today interview

Ackles says he was “floored” by the gift: “And it's cool, because now Jared and I can just drag-race around Austin.”

“If we get pulled over, it'd be like, ‘Don't worry. FBI Agent Robert Plant,’" Padalecki adds.

“We've got FBI badges in the glove box,” Ackles confirms.

The last virtual panel of the year was Jared’s and it was full of love for Jensen; Jared mentioned him often, unprompted he shared the story of when the twins were born and how hectic it was for him and Jensen to return to Austin in time for their birth honestly hearing him talk about it it’s clear how important that day was for him too and it’s just so sweet, he said him and Jensen will definitely work together again and he hopes it’ll be sooner rather than later, also said Jensen has a standing invitation to do whatever he wants on Walker, and implied he’s already looked at his schedule to see if he could make it up to Toronto where Jensen will be working in 2021. 

And these are just some moments; I know that with everything going on and time losing all meaning it might have seemed like we had a j2-less year but as you can see that’s not true cause not even a pandemic or this hellish year were able to stop or dim the beauty that is j2 and their relationship. 

This men make me so ridiculously happy, and with this being such a hard year for all of us, for some more than others, it makes me all that extra grateful for them and to them for bringing a smile to my face. I hope that with this post they will bring a smile to yours. I personally am looking forward to seeing what j2 goodies 2021 gives us, I’m hopeful there’ll be plenty, our boys have new projects coming out, God willing cons will be able to pick up again in a safe way, and there’ll be even more j2 content to enjoy. 

Until then, stay safe, take care of yourselves, and Happy New Years my fellow tinhats! ❤

#j2 tinhat #thank you past me for being organized and determined or this would not have gotten done #this are just some of the moments the year gave us #as i was making this even i found myself surprised at how much content we've actually gotten cause it's so easy #to fall into that lie of there being no content or very little but i'd disagree and say this is plenty proof that that's incorrect #i also love the recurring theme of both boys saying without actually saying they'll forever be part of each other's lives #i wanted this to be a surprise so it took everything in me to not spoil it when i've answered some messages #now can y'all stop with the freakouts #mine #annianvi #i actually got around to making it!

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 20, part three(!)

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This episode has so much crucially important stuff in it I had to write 3 posts about it! Part one is here, part two is here. 

Don't Start None, Won't Be None

Lan Wangji has never had a real fight with Wei Wuxian before--remember, in their rooftop fight Wei Wuxian never even drew his sword. And since this is going to be a verbal fight, Lan Wangji is going to lose, badly. He's an elegant and articulate speaker, but he's not quick with words, and he speaks directly and sincerely. Weaponized speech is not his area at all, so he's pretty much bringing a knife to a gunfight. A guqin to a flute fight. Whatever. He tries to turn it into a physical confrontation, twice, but Jiang Cheng holds him back.

This throwdown is 100% about religion and orthodoxy; something that is fundamental to both of these young men's lives. Lan Wangji has made it his mission to be as orthodox as possible, doing shit like volunteering to be beaten for drinking when he didn't choose to drink. He's constantly overwhelmed by emotion, and the Lan rules are a source of regulation and safety for him. His emotions around Wei Wuxian are among the most overwhelming he's got, possibly only second to his feelings about his mom.

Right now his feelings are extra overwhelming. 

It's complicated because his relationship with Wei Wuxian literally started off with him punishing Wei Wuxian for heterodoxy. All that time they spent together in the library? Was because Wei Wuxian talked--JUST talked--about using resentful energy for cultivation. Which is precisely the ability he's just shown them, along with a style of killing enemies that's borderline evil and definitely, DEFINITELY unsportsmanlike.

So this is not, Lan Wangji is lovingly worried about Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is pushing him away to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. This is Lan Wangji freaking out because his entire system of belief is being challenged and he's in love with the person who's challenging it.  

Wei Wuxian has shown up to the party wearing an International Mr. Leather tee shirt with a enamel pin stuck to it that says "I get my kicks on route 666" and Lan Wangji just. cannot. deal.  

Never Start a Fight But Always Finish One

Wei Wuxian has a couple of options here. One is to accept, kindly, that he and his friend can't be friends any more because of religion. In this option, in order to preserve his friend's comfortable sense of being right, he would have to tacitly accept that he himself is bad in some way, and allow his friend to keep having his value system, while walking away from him.  

The other choice is to hit so hard that he makes his friend feel really, really bad, and potentially rocks him off of his comfortable foundation. In the short term, the friendship breaks, but if it forces him to actually question his value system, it might lay the groundwork for a new, more accepting friendship.  Anyone who is queer with an anti-queer-religious best friend is probably familiar with this dilemma.

Wei Wuxian chooses the second option, and goes all in from the first moment, calling Lan Wangji "Lan Er Gongzi" and then upgrading to "Hanguang Jun" and even bowing. If it's possible to bow sarcastically, that's what Wei Wuxian is doing. Then he meets his eyes and sticks his chin out, essentially saying "how do you like them apples?"

(more after the cut!)

Lan Wangji's feelings are probably hurt, but he's too busy being mad to show it, and he goes straight to grilling Wei Wuxian, asking him about the killing, the talismans, and giving up the sword, all while Jiang Cheng stands by and wonders what the fuck is happening. 

Lan Wangji is making a fundamental error here, which is he's speaking as if he's an authority instead of as a peer. Wei Wuxian has only ever accepted one authority in his entire life, and that was Jiang Fengmian. Jiang Cheng is the one who, for a change, is approaching as a worried friend, while Lan Wangji approaches as if he has the right to call Wei Wuxian to account.  

Wei Wuxian won't answer his questions and is getting in his face, provoking him in a very quiet and controlled way, and Lan Wangji responds by just being really aggressive. It's interesting to see Wei Wuxian completely mastering his emotions while Lan Wangji is completely....not.  Wei Wuxian pushes harder, saying he's being rude, saying he's being a bad friend.  Which doesn't make any difference to Lan Wanji, who keeps pressing for an answer while Jiang Cheng wonders what the fuck is happening.

Come to Gusu

Wei Wuxian says he already explained, that it's complicated, it will take time to explain, so then Lan Wangji makes the utterly dumbassed demand that Wei Wuxian return to Gusu with him to explain it. What, exactly, is his plan? Bring Wei Wuxian to Gusu and have Lan Xichen (at the very least) and probably also Lan Qiren help him to convince Wei Wuxian that resentful cultivation is bad? How is that likely to work out? Let's have our own flashback, to that classroom interaction that led to the punishment in the library.

Lan Qiren: How will you make sure the resentful energy will only listen to you and not harm others? [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian] Wei Wuxian: I haven't figured that out yet ["details," as OP's dad used to say] Lan Qiren: If you did, the cultivation world would not allow your existence [i.e. we, the Lan Clan of Gusu, will kill your ass]

Lan Wangji probably doesn't think he's threatening Wei Wuxian with death by inviting him to Gusu, but he kinda is, if Lan Qiren was serious back then.  Lan Wangji is so upset and fearful that he's not really thinking clearly at this point. He loves Wei Wuxian and he's certain that cultivating with resentful energy will destroy him. [Note: he's not wrong, Wei Wuxian]  But Wei Wuxian is beyond fear. He's already been destroyed once.

Wei Wuxian rips on Gusu and then says, in a super-provocative way, that he prefers Yunmeng, which prompts Lan Wangji to say "don't joke around" as angrily as possible. 

This part of the interaction always confuses me because...shouldn't he prefer Yunmeng? He's actually from there and lives there and belongs there and stuff? He's just saying "I think I'll go with my brother" yet WWX and LWJ both act like he said he'd rather go to Demon City.

Lan Wangji takes a big step forward and Jiang Cheng blocks him while Wei Wuxian continues to act unperturbed and puzzled while holding his demon flute out in between them. 

Finally, FINALLY, Wei Wuxian calls him Lan Zhan, and asks him a serious question: What do you really want. Lan Wangji calms down for a second--although he keeps leaning into Jiang Cheng's sword block--and gets to the point, which is that the unorthodox path is dangerous, and harmful to his temperament.  

Kill one turtle together and you think you're the boss of me

So, these dudes are talking about 2 different levels of unacceptable cultivation, in this episode and the next few. Netflix translates these as "wicked tricks" and "crafty tricks," which both sound absolutely ludicrous in English, so I'm going to use my own preferred terms, going forward.  

I think what they are calling "Wicked Tricks," which includes spirit snatching and feeding people to the murder turtle on purpose in order to harvest their resentment could be translated as Heresy--adhering to a forbidden belief or practice; standing in opposition to Orthodoxy.  

Edit: After rewatching Episode 35, in which Nie Huaisang explains why their whole blade thing doesn’t count as “wicked tricks,” I’ve changed my mind about what to call this. NHS says that “wicked tricks” specifically involve the use of humans & human spirits (killing, sacrificing, etc.). Which means Necromancy is probably the better term for this particular type of cultivation, although it is still (also) Heresy. 

"Crafty Tricks," which is using resentful energy to raise and control already-dead people (ghosts and zombies) as well as just generally using resentment for basic stuff like beating Jin Zixuan's ass, could be translated as Heterodoxy--deviating from the accepted belief or practice, but not to the point of complete opposition.

Wei Wuxian laughs while Lan Wangji tries to be convincing, but since Lan Wangji is just repeating what he's been taught, he's not making much headway. Instead of saying "there's no exception throughout history" he could have, instead, gone with his own actual observations, such as "you are acting like a sadistic prick" or "you seem amazingly miserable" or "you aren't hugging your brother, what the fuck is that about?" But no.

Wei Wuxian responds to the charge of heresy by saying nuh-uh, and explains his methods, sort of, while going back to calling him Lan Er Gongzi. Lan Er Gongzi responds by actually literally yelling at him, and saying he's not allowed to decide for himself about what he's doing, as if the words "allowed to" have ever meant a goddamn thing to Wei Wuxian.

Temperament

At this point Wei Wuxian is done. He goes and gets right up in Lan Wangji's face and sticks a metaphorical knife right in his heart, smiling as he does it. "How do others know my temperament?" he asks; "and why should it be their concern?" i.e. you are not in my heart. 

This makes Lan Wangji so mad he calls Wei Wuxian "Wei Wuxian" for possibly the only time in the show, and he also flashes a whole bunch of angry teeth. (Gifset here). In a callback to the JFM-YZY fight back in Lotus Pier before the war, Wei Wuxian just calmly says "Lan Wangji" back at him, and then tells him to go fuck himself.

Jiang Cheng still doesn't understand what the fuck is happening, but this is a sentiment he understands, so he also tells Lan Wangji to go fuck himself, reminding him that Wei Wuxian is Jiang clan property and it's not the Lans' place to discipline him. Adding "and I'm not going to discipline him any way, look how good he is at killing people!"

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji continue to stare into each others' eyes from a distance so close that it really should lead to making out, but they are both much too angry for that. 

Wei Wuxian is as cold as we ever see him, smiling as he silently confirms: I do not belong to you. Lan Wangji glares back, his anger maybe finally giving way, a little bit, to being hurt.

Finish Him!

Wen Chao picks this moment to wake up and crawl over to the trio, begging Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng to save his life, since he presumably knows it's pointless to beg Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian turns around and gives him the EXACT SAME dead-eyed smile he just gave Lan Wangji, and kicks him.

Then he tells Lan Wangji to please leave so he and his brother can finish torturing this dude to death, and caps it with an official Jiang Clan eye roll.  

Lan Wangji, poor bb, just throws in the towel, and turns and leaves, the anger finally starting to leave his face and be replaced with something else...chagrin, maybe? Or maybe just softer anger, for the moment. 

After he's out of sight Wei Wuxian turns and looks after him sadly, all of the cruelty and hardness gone from his expression, while Wen Chao says "forgive me,"  possibly voicing what Wei Wuxian is thinking.

Lan Wangji walks out the front gate, troubled, and hears Wen Chao scream. He stops and replays the most pointed part of the fight in his head - the part where Wei Wuxian asked him, "who do you think you are?" Lan Wangji went into the fight believing he was completely right and was entitled to judge Wei Wuxian, but he's come out of it with his certainty shaken. 

Family Time

The Yunmeng brothers go to the ancestral shrine in Lotus Pier even though the whole "reclaiming Lotus Pier" scene doesn't happen until Episode 24. So apparently they just kind of sneak into the the shrine, and then sneak back out. Or, you know, continuity error.  Anyway Wei Wuxian is nothing if not adept at sneaking around death-related places.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng bow and offer incense. It's nice that the Wens didn't fuck up everybody's name plaques when they were in control of the place...or the tassels, candles, etc. 

Wei Wuxian quietly tells Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian that he did what they asked--taking care of Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli--and they can rest now. Nosy parker Jiang Cheng wants to know what he's saying, but Wei Wuxian just changes the subject. 

They talk about going to Qinghe for the final combat of the Sunshot Campaign. Wei Wuxian says that's why he returned, which...dude, you can't even pretend you came back to be with your loved ones? Ouch. Jiang Cheng doesn't really react to that, but he's happy when Wei Wuxian says he wants to see Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian wants to know if she's ok and if she's mad at him, and Jiang Cheng says wait and see, because direct answers are not the Jiang Clan way.

Jiang Yanli is helping tend to the wounded, and we see her telling a particularly fussy wounded dude to suck it up and stop complaining. 

When Wei Wuxian shows up she totally stops paying attention to the wounded dude so that she can smile at Wei Wuxian. 

He looks back at her tearfully, briefly managing to smile but then just trying to hold it together. He has been to hell and back, and doing his very best to hide it, but when he sees the person who loves him most--the person who will NOT spend 20 minutes yelling at him as soon as they see him--he starts to crack open.

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