Tumgik
#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher
moeblob · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
So does he, Gallagher.
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#gallagher#i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU#and then blade constantly just being blade as usual#its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but#i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary#but the amount of times blade was the recipient......#i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just#get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better#so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle#funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still#but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me#so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ?#i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway#one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys#also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out#i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher#so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought#(no i am not but we can pretend)
620 notes · View notes
wickershells · 6 months
Text
txt
#i just dont really know what to do. my friends never express concern for me and they never tell me they love me without overt irony or some#watering down of the sentence. they never reach out when i need them and everything they say is so detached and distant and cold#and maybe im just in my head again maybe its getting to the time of year when my life routinely falls apart moreso than all the other month#but i feel so abandoned all the time. and stupid. and unloveable. my friend once told me that her love for me would erode#whenever i vanished for mental health reasons so i stopped vanishing and started instead pushing through the illness and opening up more to#her but it was too much for her to handle and all my baggage almost ended our friendship so here i am vanishing again except this time with#the debilitating knowledge that every day she loves me less and less and less. if i am not there she stops loving me and if i am she stops#loving me. what do i do. my illness takes everything from me every damn thing. she wont call me but she bought a ticket to see me in januar#and i cant reconcile it. shes visiting her girlfriend and its the same price to come over here too so i guess why not. its not really#for me. we dont have plans to do anything for my birthday and i doubt she will offer and i dont want to be the one to do so like last year#i want someone to love me without me asking them to. i want to be able to trust people without having it broken. i want to feel like an#equal and not so inferior all the time. i'm not her best friend anymore. she doesnt tell me personal things she doesnt share everything#she used to with me. i try and try to start doing the things we used to but she doesnt do them. i shared my location again but she didnt#share hers. so i stopped again and she didnt even ask me why. she has not asked if im okay in weeks. if i vanished forever i dont think#she would even notice. i cant see her mourning the loss of me. i dont think i matter that much to her. and it is so painful#with both of my best friends i watch them gladly do things with other people and never do things with me unless i beg. i am constantly#excluded from their lives i am the outsider friend. and it is so damn lonely. and every time i'm presented w the opportunity to make new#friends i'm paralysed w fear because how many times have i lost people. i'm either too little or too much or both at once. constantly absen#or constantly sad and it's poisonous i feel poisonous. i'm not fit for community despite how desperate i am for it i just feel perpetually#undeserving. and so stupid and unsuccessful in comparison to them. i'm too much effort to be around and i get why i really do#even this it's just so much heaviness all the time i am such a burden. they just don't love me as much anymore. love lost#added to my family baggage and my dead childhood dog and the nothingness of my future i just can't see myself continuing i don't know what#to do. my parents don't support me my friends are never there the nhs is a joke i am actually genuinely alone lol#what if i can't recover. some people are destined not to. what if that's me. what if i am never happy. i'm never going to accomplish#anything i'm stuck here. stagnant and unmoving. the most disposable and useless person alive#sorry. will delete later as usual. but for reasons stated above i have nowhere else to put these thoughts#and i am drowning in them#vent
4 notes · View notes
hirokiyuu · 1 year
Text
(ripping my hair out by the handful) Sol Is Not Trapped In The Time Loop Sol Is There Because They Choose To Be
#life on earth i am begging you please get life on earth#teenexo stuff#this is my biggest adn pettiest pet peeve but every time a fic is tagged fix it abt either#a) sol leaving the time loop or#b) dys not [redacted]#i start ripping out my hair. please. please. please#the irony is besk lives au actually does hit point b eventually however. however#i dont think its a fix it for him to do it or not do it i think its just a choice he can choose to make#i really do honestly and genuinely believe its fine and morally neutral and not a bad thing#i dont think relationships need to last forever to be deep and meaningful and i think dys staying for sol for so long is already like#a sign of his love and how much he cares for them. like. i think its fine. i genuinely do think its fine that he goes#idk theres a quote from this book i really like thats smth like uhhh#your lover doesnt belong to you they are choosing to lend themself to you every day#and i think abt that w/rt dys/sol a lot its just good u kno#dys stays for sol because he loves them. he leaves because he wants to do that too#and i think the act of him staying bc he loves them is really nice! having the time together they have is nice!#idk i also dont think sol would be able to be like....... With dys long term if they didnt understand/acknowledge this at least a little?#basically. i think there are circumstances where dys wouldn't do it but i dont think those are fix-its lol#ANYWAYS clambers back off my soap box#this wasnt even what i came here to complain about#ok back to packing byeeeeeee#i was a teenage exocolonist spoilers ?#probably somewhere in there im guessing
15 notes · View notes
weirdmageddon · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
Tumblr media
but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
Tumblr media
im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
Tumblr media
don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
Tumblr media
rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
Tumblr media
side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
Tumblr media Tumblr media
but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
Tumblr media
the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
Tumblr media
and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
Tumblr media
but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
Tumblr media
he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”
Tumblr media
dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
6K notes · View notes
dyketubbo · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
right. so considering how this person talked about things (using wilbur and george as main examples, even liking a tweet of someone pointing out the irony of one of wilburs songs saying not to trust british men, notably someone who immediately believed the allegations against tubbo) its incredibly likely that this was someone whos bitter about wilbur and/or george and wanted to discredit shubble and caiti (not to mention others like lexie and andi who have also come out with their stories) as "allegations with no evidence". notably they point out the AI not acting like a boy, but nothing about the story implies the victim is a boy, its the profile having a woman's name, and since their account existed before this i dont think they had chatgpt come up with their username for this.
shubble and caiti didnt have "no evidence". they both had friends who could corroborate their stories, and even people who previously associated with the creators were able to confirm things. shubble's story actively mentioned wilbur hurting her in front of their shared friends, other ccs had experience with him biting or otherwise being rough with them, several ccs admitted that he was a horrible person to them too, wilburs ant infestation was talked about before shubble mentioned it in her story, several of shubbles friends were aware of her experience before she talked about it publicly. caiti's story included something personal about george (the tickling kink) that only people who had experience with him knew about (from what i know), george has openly admitted to not caring about hurting his friends on camera, and others were able to confirm that george talked inappropriately about them as well. wilbur and george both actively responded to each story even without their names being said because the stories were familiar enough to them that they didnt need to be said. they knew it was about them just based on what the victims said they were like.
its extremely fucked up to make a social experiment out of all of this, and i dont think it was really a social experiment out of any sort of academic interest in the first place. its a fake story made up to make actual victims seem unreasonable and dumb for coming out and being believed based on what this person believed was word alone. the very fact that they either didnt notice or just left in the obvious contradictions with the set up (accusing a gay man who cant drive of assaulting a girl while driving her home from a party in the pandemic, which he didnt leave his house during) actively shows that they believe the actual victims' stories are as "dumb" as this and genuinely believed that they didnt have actual weight to them. they truly did think there was "no evidence", that people were just spreading around baseless stories and taking them at face value, that no one even thought of innocent before guilty.
the only people who need to learn are the ones behind this story. but if there is anything to learn about on others ends, its to be aware of people like this who will discredit the victims' and accuse their stories of being dumb and lacking evidence, who will defend abusers with "innocent until proven guilty" while also targeting actual innocents. have actual victims in your heart and mind and dont let shit like this deter you from what actually matters: continuing to support real victims and paying attention to the issues that they bring up about misogyny, abuse of power, and the dangerous culture surrounding how victims are treated in this community by diehard fans of their abusers. this fake story and the mindset of the people behind it only shows just how far some people will go to try and discredit and downplay what shubble speaking up has started to do for this community
113 notes · View notes
yellowbluemoonshine · 2 months
Note
Hi,
I see you finished Monster and are quite versed in Johan. Can you help me understand the depth of his character better? I feel like many people miss the point of it. Also I'd like to know why you like him so much.
Oh, there is so much to say about him but i will try to make it short as possible.
Lets Talk About Johan;
Tumblr media
First of all, i heard his character as some 'evil' mastermind so i wasnt really interested in his character until i experience the story by myself. I wondered why this series is popular so i decided to give a chance. I tought Johan was like Afo (from Bnha) but he turn out to be a lot like Shigaraki lol.
What makes a character depth is if they are not one-dimensional, that there is a more than how they seem from surface. And Johan fits well since he is mysterious character who is seen as angel, monster, devil, basically anything but human but they end up failing to understand him because if he was so simple, police would've catch him a long time ago.
At the start of series, he seems like your usual dangerous serial killer which fits the psychological thriller theme of story. And one of the best thing in series is his connection with Tenma. A doctor saves his life and this dangerous killer starts to view him as parent figure. A killer who see no worth in life and the doctor who thinks every life is equal, especially saving Johan is the reason he starts to to be able to live his life as a real doctor. Only to learn the child whom he saved turn out to be serial killer.
Tenma feels responsible for this and goes to journey to kill Johan. During this journey, we aldo discover some hints of what made Johan the way he is. The irony is we get the hints and a lot of characters perspective of him, everyone except Johan.
Tumblr media
Is his messages about 'the monster inside of him' serious or not? Tenma assumes Johan is enjoying this at first, then he assumes Johan has multiple personality disorder. And later when he talked with other doctor, he assumes Johan is just playing with him because thats what most serial killers do with police. This is interesting because all of those end up being wrong. Johan doesnt enjoy from killing people. Johan doesnt have DID. Johan didnt write those messages to play with them. We know this because we later learn that he is unconciously imitate the fairytale stories he read as child.
Meanwhile, he has fanclub. A lot of murderers admire Johan because they view him as destruction Buddha. Just like others, he is seen as monster but why though? Its not like he is the only killer in the world. And personally, a lot of characters are more 'evil' than him so the thing about Johan is; he treats human life as nothing. Not just other people but also himself. Thats what makes him so scary to everyone. He doesnt even do it out of joy, money, statue. He looks like the devil in human form. He spreads misery to world. (Thats why he burns library when they said "its humanity's treasure" LoL.)
To people, that is scary. When they look at Johan, his eyes, the see someone who has no identity (nameless world). They see someone who treats life like as a game. Which explains why many people are afraid of him.
Some also want to use him, such as they want him to make second Hitler and he is like 'Nope'.
Tumblr media
I think the main reason i love Johan is that he is like a magician. He can create a beautifull illusion. He is someone who can touch people's hearths because how well he understands them. Which is why he is seen as angel when people dont know he kills people.
This is also why he can use other killers for himself. He can see their vulnerabilities. Because even a killer is still human and they might need acceptance, to be understood by someone. Johan can give it to them. And they wish they were like Johan because they think everything would be a lot easier for them to kill others, like some kind of edgy teens. They fail to understand the person they want to be is extremely miserable.
On other hand, Johan can use his skills with curing people. Such as him waking Suk's mother, he made her remember her son again. Though he does things with ulterior motives, same skills can be used for good things. He can make people happy or miserable by little things. With a little magic or just skill.
And even though he is villain, he has very relaxing voice. He is very elegant. He listens other people. This fits perfectly well with his manipulative character.
We also never know when he is sincere or not because when you think he doesnt he actually seem to care, such as when he cried for Karl. Apperantly, tears were real. He is always in his world, its so funny when you think about he is some kind of mastermind.
Tumblr media
Also his interaction with kids is so interesting. I think he geniuely enjoys being around them. Otherwise, why would he bother to spend time with them, why would he know so much about child's rights, why would he look for picture book for a friend? This is the same guy who encourage kids to rooftop game (and the scene where he was projecting on Milos) which is messed up. It gives me chills. His nihisilism, him viewing life as game end up resulting him expressing love as twisted.
----
Tumblr media
Later, everything changes when Johan finds certain book in library. Basically, Johan's character doesnt necessarely stay same during the series. He changes his motives from unconciously imitating nameless monster stories to find actual monster who ruined his life. Even though he does messed up things, everything about his character makes sense with that scene. Johan geniuely believed that he is nameless monster. Johan geniuely believed that he doesnt exist.
Everything about him makes sense because it explains why he doesnt think death as much of it. Because if someone doesnt exist, they cant be killed. If someone doesnt exist, they cant be responsible for killings. He is detached from reality. Its not that he didnt feel. Its that he doesnt view it as real the way other people does. Because Johan isnt there. This is the tragedy of Johan's story. He doesnt have name. He doesnt have identity. He feels as he doesnt exist.
Tumblr media
The famous 'monster' tape everyone after is about a child unable to see the difference between fairytale story and reality. 'My name is Johan. My name is Thomas. My name is Hans. My name is Otto.' He is them but he is neither of them. Johan views Anna as his half, as Anna is the real one and he is fake copy. He killed people as child, not because he is evil but because he geniuely thought that monster is coming after them. He cant even separate his own memories from Anna's. He takes all bad memories both to protect Anna and other reason is to become someone. He wanted to have identity, he wanted to live so bad but he didnt have on his own so he took it from others, just like the nameless monster.
This is also why Johan is also affected by Tenma's saving him. He probably wondered Tenma wouldnt save him, if he knew he was monster. He was kinda right because Tenma regretted his decision but he was wrong because Tenma couldnt shoot him and he saved him the second time. He showed him that he has right to live, he has right to exist, and that he has a name so he is not monster. This is why Johan can open up his worst insecurities. And they really give father-son energy and i think thats cute. I am glad that even after years Tenma visists him at hospital.
Tumblr media
And we can guess what happened at the end thanks to Grimmer (one of the characters who deserves better), 'The monster become human at the end'. and Lunge said that if he were not a human being, he would not leave a trace, only humans leave a trace. For the first time we see Johan leave his mark. So Johan is no longer a monster, just a human. Also, his real name doesnt matter, he is Johan to us/all.
I love the messages of story. There is a monster inside all of us, but we can contain/heal it and after all, we are all human, our lives are equally valuable and stealing a person's name is the biggest crime, so having a name is very important. Story still has certain writing issues but generally, it is good story. Johan is well written character because his story is such a journey. We cant even really appreaciate the story without fully understand Johan. Every scene he is in meaningfull. And personally, i think his story is very empathic because of how tragic he is. Also sometimes he looks so funny and weird which makes him entertaining. He is such a good character.
Though you are right, anon. Many people still misinterpret the story, especially his character but anyway, there are still people who makes great analysis about him. Such as this analysis made by @cyanogoth.
Its ironic that most/some main villains have the most interesting and sempathic backstories, even though they are supposed to be 'big evil' or something but in reality, they are not really.
Tumblr media
Anyway, he is fun to think about, i love him, lol.
40 notes · View notes
cupoftaae · 7 months
Note
Can you do a drabble for Oc & Taehyung how someone tries to flirt with Tae in front of her and he does something super romantic for Oc which makes the girl back off? I miss this couple so much ❤️
Hiii! this is a super cute idea, thank you anon for requesting!
Warnings- swearing, minor angst I suppose, FLUFFY!!
pairing- Forever and a day series couple! (Tae x YN)
Enjoyyyy! -Nini
Tumblr media
"I'll pick up the tab"
before you had the chance to even pull out your wallet, taehyung slapped his card onto the dinner table in front of you. "I got it, babe, no worries"
You scoff, typical him.
"you paid last time, and it isnt really fair you know?" you mumble, feeling shy as his soft eyes gaze deeply at you, trying to gather your attention.
"Y/N, stop" he took your hand and squeezed it, "you dont need to fret, you're my doll, I can spoil you if I want, yeah?"
You simply shrugged, feeling defeated as he stood, "I'll go to the front and pay, stay here baby"
You nodded as you watched him walk off, scraping the last bit of dessert off your plate and onto your mouth. Taehyung and you usually went out on special occasions, but not that you were engaged, everyday felt like a special occasion. He would suprise you with random reservations at random timing- for instance, today you came home from work, tired and dirty, but he sat at the door with that little grin of his, explaining that he managed to squeeze a date in at one of the "super fancy" dinner places in the city.
You couldn't say no, especially to his sweet doe eyes, so of course you dolled up and came with him, and as always it was more than enjoyable....you just wish he would let you pay....considering he did everything else.
You looked up to see what was taking so long, and to your surprise, he was stuck at the front counter with some woman who looked like a model, her hand on his shoulder and everything.
Whatever they were engaging in must've been really interesting considering how attentive her eyes were to his.
You arent the jealous type, and you know taehyung would never cross that line with you.....but seeing this rando touch up on your practical husband.....oh hell no
He waves a hand and slowly makes his way back to the table, "sorry baby....."
"whos that?"
He shrugged "actually, I have no idea...but I think she was flirting with me"
you would be lying to say that your blood didnt boil at those words "what? wait....what did she say?"
"well....she was complimenting my outfit then proceeded to touch me-"
"i saw" you cut him off, a slight smirk crossing his face
"but-...I didnt give her any of my time...."
"hm..." you sigh, looking down at your phone
"baby, cmon..." he leans over and kisses your head, "you know I only love you, my sweet, beautiful girl, hm?"
"wellllll-" you tease, playing angry
Taehyungs eyes caught the blonde woman off in the distance eyeing him, he smirked once more and whispered. "come with me"
He gently led you to the center of the dining room, standing on a chair as he started speaking, your heart sank to your ass. "what are you fucking doing???" you couldnt help but laugh.
"attention everyone!!" he began, ignoring you, "I would like to make an announcement"
oh great....here we go.
everyone turned to look at both of you, including the one intrigued by taehyung. You felt the heat rise to your face.
"Y/N, you know that the past 10 years of my life have been the most amazing yet, every day I fall deeper into love with you......" He kneeled and you almost lost it, covering your mouth to not laugh
"get. up." you whispered through gritted teeth.
The irony in this is, well, you are already engaged.
Lesson learned here is to not question this mans public love for you, because he has no fear of hiding it.
"Y/N, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"
the room gasped, the blonde woman was seen walking away awkwardly as I giggle, "y-yeah, sure"
He jumped up and kissed you all over your face, whispering as the room grew with applause. "now do you believe me?"
"I never didnt believe you" you teased, hitting his chest before kissing him back. "you are such a dork"
"you know I like to see how red your face gets" he mumbled "my little tomato"
"I can publicly yell "never mind" right now, watch it" you glared, kissing him again.
He held his hands up, giggling, "okay okay, lets get out of here so I can realllyyyy show you how much I love you"
well now you can say youve been proposed to twice, thats something, right?
64 notes · View notes
spaciebabie · 1 year
Note
As a certified Springtrap simp, which backstory for William do you prefer: one where he was a good dad driven mad maybe by jealousy or the loss of his youngest child, or one where he was always an abusive narcisist that cared for nobody but himself?
i feel like the, "im evil so i must also abuse my creations and/or children" has been really overdone. like idk im just tired of seeing it personally. and the whole "haha!!! im craaaazy!!" thing we get in the comics also rubs me the wrong way b/c. thats not. how he's portrayed in the games at all. esp hearing him in sister location he feels like he would be a calm sort of madness. he seems like a rational guy. he doesnt talk like that. he doesnt act like that. it seems really contradictory
i feel like him being a good dad (or at the least caring deeply for his children) gives him more urgency and like,,,,makes sense w/what we're given. it aligns the most w/the theories we have asta why he started killing etc. i also just enjoy the tragedy of it. he started out as a good guy w/good intentions and then was twisted inta something unrecognizable b/c he was so focused on tryin ta reach his goal. personally my hc is that he was jelly of henry and then the death of crying child tipped him over the edge and started his whole killing thing. imo its better than, "hee hoo i was evil FOREVER!! im PURE evil and have always been EVIL!!!" like. okay. wheres the subsistence?? give him depth dammit
why would he build a robot for his daughter if he didnt love her. why would he tell crying child he would put him back together if he didnt love him (not really cemented as something he said, but i mean who else would say it?? certainly not michael he was a boy. i think as a fandom we assume its heavily implied). it makes the afton kid's deaths so much more impactful. the prospect of this man losing pieces of his life bit by bit and being driven insane by it is enthralling
i love a good chaotic descent. i love thinking abt him being consumed w/a need ta revive his own son becoming obsessed w/life and death as a result. oh the irony of loving your own kid so much you would take others children away from them, knowing how losing your own felt. and the twisting of emotions as he sees his son michael someone who he would've died for, try ta stop him. b/c hes not understanding, they need ta b together again. thats all hes tryin ta do. get his family back tagether. and all these fucking obstacles are in the way of his only goal. and the manifestation of hatred of his own son b/c of this. b/c hes getting in his way. like, talk abt juicy. i want that man ruined. it just adds a layer of psychological torture that i just adore. william fucking ruined everything. he ruined his own happy family, he ruined his own life, and if he actually mourns that? chefs kiss.
my thought is, why even have him have a family in the first place if they're just there ta demonstrate he's evil? seeing the afton family purely as a plot device, we already know afton killed kids. one can assume a person who kills kids is a bad person (maybe? see this is where the juiciness comes in w/him caring for his children. is it really bad from his perspective if hes trying ta save his kid? or is it noble?) so we dont need ta b demonstrated ta that hes a bad person again. if hes just pure evil from the get go it doesnt make sense ta me ta have the afton kids be prominent in the story (besides michael, but even then he could probably be replaced by one of the victims family members) when you could illustrate the same point by focusing on the kids hes killed and their families. why do the afton kids matter if he treats all children the same. why are we focusing so much on the afton family and what appear ta b major story beats in their story, especially since the children he has killed do not get as fleshed out as the aftons do. i feel like if his family wasnt important ta him we wouldnt hear abt it at all. you could achieve the same message by making him single and childless.
do u kno how many stories there are of "Righteous Child Of A Horrible Guy Who Hates Everything, Even Their Own Family, Goes Out Ta Stop Their Parent And Save The Day" there are? its b/c its too easy!!! its too easy for u ta assume that a character is the worst and has been the worst forever!!! its too easy ta assume that an evil character would abuse their family!!! its too easy ta assume an evil character wouldn't have traits besides jealousy, hatred and narcissism!!!!
174 notes · View notes
luffyvace · 3 months
Text
Inosuke x black male reader
Tumblr media
The last one from the poll!! Yippie!!
I love inosuke he’s so cool 😎
your hair is….very foreign to inosuke
this is Japan so when he sees you in general he’s very confused??
and confused=confrontational (like with giyuu)
so at first there’s a chance y’all beefed (it may have been one-sided)
but to talk specifically about your hair he probably pulls and inspects it a lot
or at least tries I know you don’t let that slide
he’d ask overly blunt questions like
“what happened to your hair, is it fried?!”
your skin is also new to him
the things he be saying is atrocious but he’s genuinely curious
mans also has no social cues
which makes him come off as rude
and even if he did have social cues he’d ignore them, cuz he doesn’t care 🤷‍♀️
to sum it all up, don’t take it personally
he be munching down on your cooking tho!
so at least that 🤦‍♀️
he always asks for so much / extras
he likes spicy too
He steals tanjiro and zenitsu’s food whenever you cook
When you use AAVE he doesn’t get it
and never will
you never even bothered to teach him
he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would get it
if you wanna say something and don’t want him to know just teach tanjiro and zenitsu AAVE
zenitsu will get it before tanjiro does-
”WHAT?? WHADDYA SAYIN?? STOP SPEAKING FUNNY!!”
”THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE IDIOT!!”
him calling you a idiot is irony I know 😂 /j
your culture/dances also don’t make sense to him..😞🙁
he might get the culture a little bit more than the dances
i mean it’s just dancing but he’ll be wondering why you have to do it a certain way
and as far as culture he’ll be like
”whaddya doin all this stuff for?! ITS POINTLESS!! lets go train instead!”
Tanjiro will get it tho!
he’ll explain his dad used to do a fire dance to ward the demons off
”is it something like that?”
close enough..🧍‍♀️
your bonnet/durag is very strange to him
He doesn’t get why you need something on your head to sleep
You explain to him that it’s to keep your pillow from soaking the oil in your hair and to keep your hairstyles neat
speaking of which when you braid your hair or if you have locs he thinks it’s very cool!
(that’s like the most positive thing I’ve wrote so far..)
Only problem is…..he wants you to do his hair like yours..
”but inosuke, your hair’s gonna fall out! And you can’t loc straight hair!”
He doesn’t wanna hear it..
he gets loud/starts yelling and you have to calm him down
your features are something he notices right off the bat but at the same time it goes right over his head
like he sees you may have a big nose/big lips but he doesn’t really pay much attention to it
like he doesn’t even think ‘everyone is different!’ so why would he pay attention to everyone’s individual features?
he’s looking for if your strong or not if anything 🤷‍♀️
im just gonna put a collage of his questions here cuz I can
”WHY CANT YOU DO MY HAIR LIKE YOURS?!”
”HOW’S YOUR HAIR SO BIG!?”
”HOW COME YOUR HAIR GOES BOING AND MINE DOESNT?!”
”what’s that black thing on your head?” (Durag)
”WHADDYA MEAN MY HAIRS’ GONNA FALL OUT?! YOURS DIDNT!!”
”is your hair a defense technique?? What does it do?”
“how’d you get your hair like that?”
”WHY DO YOU TALK LIKE THAT??”
”I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU!! SPEAK NORMAL!!”
”does your whole village look like that?? SHOW ME!”
his bluntness be getting outta hand ngl
You being a male doesn’t NOT affect inosuke whatsoever
he realized he wanted to be with you, and his mind, you were already his
(he didn’t actually ask you out 🤦‍♀️)
and yeah I pretty much have nothing else to say bc inosuke don’t care.
he’s him like that 🤷‍♀️
Inosuke’s love languages are quality time and gift giving
quality time = training
training = beating
not because he wants to beat you
but just because he doesn’t hold back at all
i hope your stronger than him
cuz if your weak……..😃
with gift giving he’ll remember the things you say you like but……it’ll just end up going..wrong..
for example! You say you need a new durag because it has a hole?
well! The great inosuke has taken the liberty to make you a new one!
like it? 😁
(oh gosh…..you don’t. What is this even made out of??)
”gee thanks..! Inosuke..”😟
”HHAHAHAHAHAH YOU BETTER BE GRATEFUL!! THE GOD OF MOUNTAINS HIMSELF MADE YOU A NEW DURAT!”😼
(yes durat 😋..he doesn’t remember the name)
zenitsu and tanjiro support you two
zenitsu was already aware of non het couples
he doesn’t see the attraction but it’s none of his business to him really
tanjiro is 100% supportive and doesn’t see it any different from a hetero couple
kind confused?? But he’s supportive :)
also commends you for taking on the rambunctious inosuke 😅
inosuke doesn’t care what anyone else has to say about your relationship
Now if they’re passive aggressive he won’t get it-
but if they directly insult either of you—your gonna have to stop him from beating them up 😜
(or join him! 😊)
all in all….your relationship is very chaotic!
you love him regardless <3
Lol inosuke so silly
Hope you enjoyed💝
43 notes · View notes
audriandae · 11 months
Text
sometimes i just sit and think about the life series
the irony of grian being besties with people who die too soon (scar in third life, southlanders but specifically timmy in last life, scar again in double life and timmy and joel in limited life). Is he just cursed with the most painful narrative?
having to fist fight scar to death, his ally since the accident, the person he stood by even after his debt was paid, the person he didnt attack until it was just the two of them left although scar “betrayed” him
“protecting” a life belonging to scar only to have it taken away almost instantly. having to leave the southlands for one episode and returning to find it in ruins. having two of the southlanders fall first, and another soon after
causing the last death of his pair, being physically so far from scar. his last few words be “I’m sorry” and scar’s being “grian”
(bonus grian almost shouting scar when joel jumped off bread bridge)
not to mention being the last bad boy alive and although he’d started some episodes in his normal skin instead of the bad boy skin, when he was the last one he wore the bad boy skin without fail. he joined the nosy neighbours but didnt change his skin from the bad boys
additional thoughts:
how many deaths of allies has he caused? all three of scar’s deaths in third life could be blamed on grian. creeper prank, science and discovery ravine (since scar wouldn’t’ve been so excited to run over if grian hadn’t suggested releasing the enderman), punched to death in a ring of cactus.
joel and jimmy’s failed waterbucket landing when they asked grian “yes or no”. joel’s enderporter death. jimmy falling to his permadeath… and many more i’m sure, i just dont have them off the top of my head
extra additional thoughts:
i’m so not normal about grian in limited life making bread bridge, making skynet, feeling safe on what was probably the most dangerous place on the server, then *dying* to fall damage falling off bread bridge
its so poetic how he was unmade by the very thing he created. him screaming “dont tell jimmy” as well
random bonus thought:
grian is an aerial predator because he likes being up high where he can see all his prey below him and not have to worry about looking up (watcher related???)
67 notes · View notes
ilesui · 5 months
Text
what music would the TWST boys listen to ?
— yay first post! i’ve thought about this question a lot, especially as someone with a varied taste in music. i look up character playlists and… honestly, most of them have the same songs in them. which isn’t a bad thing at all! but i think if we’re going to look at this realistically, it’s good to have a variety. anyways, enough yapping!
heartslabyul — 🃏
riddle would most likely listen to classical music starting off. considering his mom, it’s very possible he wasn’t allowed to listen to a lot of modern music. as time goes on though, i like to think he listens to songs with soft acoustics and catchy hooks. what i’m thinking specifically is “i will follow you into the dark” by death cab for cutie. it would help him calm down for his anger issues and feel like he’s loved, even for a moment.
ace’s music taste is a little more basic. he’s a pretty simple guy! i think he’d listen to minnesotan hip hop, maybe even meme rap. something catchy, modern, but with a layer of irony behind it. i have a feeling he’d really like Brother Ali. maybe something less calm from him, though. he wants to be hyped up!
deuce wants to change. he has a whole moment in book 5 on how he wants to find himself and stop changing himself for the sake of other people. so, he tried listening to classical music. but he just couldn’t get into it. i think it’s more likely he listens to gangster rap / west coast rap. no one post modern, but instead artists like eazy-e and n.w.a. he’s mildly aware of newer artists but he doesn’t necessarily understand them. he’s a sucker for the classics!
cater canonically listens to the top 100 songs. but also cater is a pretty deep character. he doesn’t have a lot of trust in people so it’s very unlikely he’s honest about a lot of things, including his music taste. while cater SAYS he listens to popular songs, i think he’s a sucker for pop punk. waterparks and fall out boy are is jam! he would listen to them while skating!
trey gave me a bit of trouble. when i first made my headcanons, i joked around with my friends on how it’s more likely he’d listen to asmr than music. i still think that’s a bit true but when i asked around for other people’s opinions on what he listens to, i got another joke answer saying “british people music”. that’s when it hit me. classic rock! artists like the beatles, led zeppelin, and david bowie! he’s kind of a family guy so he probably listened to these songs growing up and he’s never quite ventured any further. it’s a little unconventional for the modern day world of pop but i think it suits him!
savanaclaw — 🏜
i think leona is a little more of a romantic than he’s willing to admit. it obviously wouldn’t show in the game but it bleeds a lot more into his tastes. the man may not know how to dress but he can treat a lady well! so i think he listens to classic jazz. he would definitely dance in the kitchen with you while listening to “somethin’ stupid” by frank sinatra! it maybe be hard to believe but underneath all that rough fur is a good person who wants to love as much as he wants to live.
ruggie’s felt a little too obvious to me. golden age hip hop! again, nothing too new but i like the idea that he somehow stumbles upon the most under appreciate artists ever and goes to their live shows! live shows that are mostly basement concerts lol. i can see him growing up on MF DOOM, though. his grandma probably subjected him to a lot of The Jackson 5 too! grammy don’t need fancy!
jack was another one that gave me a hard time. ok, honestly, i had a hard time with 3 other characters on this list but i did some more thinking and i’m content on my stances now! anyways, jack isn’t a very hardcore guy. in fact, i think he’s pretty classy. i think he listens to jazz pop. im specifically thinking of michael bublé. fun fact, it’s a popular headcanon that jack is canadian and michael bublé is listened as canadian pop lol. i didnt even realize that until i looked up what genre he was
octavinelle — 🪸
azul was another one that gave me trouble. im joking when i say this but i think he’d listen to those alpha bro podcasts and says that music is a waste of time. but as a serious answer? jazz blues. maybe even soul blues if he’s feeling like listening to something with lyrics. duke ellington feels like it would be a good fit!
floyd listens to vocaloid and i will refuse to elaborate on this.
oh still here?
ok im joking, of course. gotta have a little fun on this blog and keep you on your toes. but hes pretty unpredictable and loses interest in things very easily. i think there’s no one genre that he gravitates towards. he just finds specific songs he likes and listens to them until he gets bored. his playlist is awful because he goes from musicals, to pop, to Debussy in one sitting. it’s genuine whiplash to give jaxe the aux because you don’t know what you’re gonna get when he hits shuffle.
i’m still right though. this man would listen to vocaloid.
jade is interesting because not a lot of things can keep his interest. it’s easy to say he’s like floyd and has a wide taste in music but that’s way too easy. plus, he has a genuine system going on in his head. while there is no pattern in chaos, there needs to be some semblance of pleasure. so i think he’s a fan of noise rock and hardcore. jesus piece is a definitive. you never know what’ll happen in those songs. each moment is filled to the brim with noise that doesn’t even leave you a moment to think. jade would be a fan of that.
scarabia — 🏝
it’s pretty canon that kalim prefers folk party music. he’s seen in multiple vignettes hosting parties where there’s live music that he plays in. but i wanna add something. the whole reason why he joined the pop music club was because of lillia’s performance where he had his little screamo moment, right? i don’t think it’d be that much of a stretch to think he’d be into that music wise. so i think kalim could really be into industrial and hyperpop! but really, he can be into anything just as long as it’s loud and amps him up. rob zombie, most likely. nothing more violent than that! he’ll feel bad :(
jamil is the one i’ve thought about the most. he IS my oshi, after all. i think he listens to a mixture of dance pop, disco pop, and a bit of female oriented rap. jamil is a munchkin and proud. he wants something to make him feel hot because his only coping mechanism is how he maintains himself. its easier to feel hot by yourself when youre listening to music than to deal with the idea of being perceived! :D
pomefiore — 🍏
vil definitely listens to pop. i think that’s a given for any influencer. but i also think he has a secret love for musicals! he’s most likely a classically trained actor, after all. all pomefiore kids give me the vibe of theater kids, especially because theyre actors. ride the cyclone is probably a favorite among him. and wicked. especially wicked.
rook is the one that gave me the hardest time. i didnt exactly know what he’d like to listen to because… frankly he doesnt share next to anything about himself so its near impossible to do a reading on him. like, genuinely, what the fuck. but yk. he IS a fanboy of neige. it isnt hard to imagine he likes k-pop and j-pop (or the twst equivalent). honestly, the idea that he’s a stan is so funny to me that i cant imagine him listening to much of anything else. that man writes fanfiction can poetry be considered fanfiction? about his classmates!!! he can be considered a stan!!!!!!! just an extremely eccentric one
ngl i dont know a lot about asian pop but uh… i like MAMAMOO and MOMOLAND???? literally cannot give you recommendations for this one soz
epel’s music taste came to me the moment i played chapter 5. country rap that’s a little misogynistic. yes epel is one of those kids who went thru a “i hate women” phase when he was younger because he didnt know how to grapple with his own ideas of how to be comfortable with his masculinity and femininity and wanted to uphold traditional gender roles due to a lack of fundamental misunderstanding of feminist theory and how the patriarchy includes men and a general insecurity of his body. i cannot give you recommendations because i am not a misogynist and the only country rapper i like is girliepop
ignihyde — 🎧
idia’s music taste is already confirmed. premo is said to be a hardcore metal idol group that has concerts until everyone passes out. i get a lot of people think he listens to vocaloid and other internet famous genres but tbh i think he thinks that hes too good for that shit. idia is a hipster before he is a nerd. idia would listen to PassCode, a heavy metal idol group. the only difference between it and premo is that PassCode has a more eletronica feel to it. itd fit right at home with our resident leet speak gamer. this is my PassCode propaganda post. listen to PassCode.
i cant say what orthro’s music taste is because i havent played through chapter 6 yet (im trying to upgrade all my srs to level 30 first). but i dont think he’d listen to music. this can be amended tho when i play thru it and i feel like my position has changed
diasomnia — 🪡
malleus was not hard for me at all. to be fair, i originally wrote all of these down on an instagram post and by the end, i was a little delirious. or just in tune with my creativity. either way, i was on a roll. i think malleus would listen to a mixture of musicals, opera, and ballet. it very specifically needs to be classical music that has a performance with it. considering that malleus is kind of a gamer, i think his attention span is a little short to stand an hour of pure music. plus, theyre things you can be invited to and experience with friends / family. imo, he’s a fan of swan lake and the phantom of the opera. something so hauntingly beautiful you cant look away with the added bonus of being able to peer into the tragedy of mortality and the human condition.
lilia listens to screamo and i have nothing to elaborate on that. i pray everyday that he listens to be your own pet. he probably has and legally that means i must sacrifice my life for him
silver would listen to bedroom pop. get it? ehhh? wow tough crowd. but i think he’d listen to bedroom pop because despite everyone’s attempts to get him into metal as an attempt to keep him awake, the slow and sleepy melodies of mxmtoon singing about simple joys in life is just too enchanting to turn away. hes a human first before hes a retainer. humans cant help but indulge in the simple pleasures
sebek was only tricky because i do not care for his character. for everyone else, i have some sort of interest in them but diasomnia just… doesnt exactly appeal to me for some reason. anyways, i think he’d listen to new age jazz. new age jazz is pretty easy to understand and can be as loud or as soft as one wants. probably something with instrumentals because he wants to focus on whatever hes doing rather than the music. new age and not the classics because he is still 16 and like… not as old as malleus lol
— thanks for reading ~
Tumblr media
51 notes · View notes
frostops · 1 year
Text
my issue with f1nnster is less about him and more about the larger trend he has kind of become a microcosm of. the combination of irony-poisoned “everything is a bit” mentality, the way the interent incentivizes monetizing your “genuine” self, and the increased acceptance of gender nonconformity and the subsequent pushback against that acceptance has made it so that the safest (relatively speaking) way to be gnc is to frame it as a joke. F1nn’s bit is that you pay him money to “force” him to dress as a girl, but i think its fair to say that he does enjoy dressing that way, and he could just stop at any point.
I remember a few years ago when some tiktok was being spread on this site of a guy in a maid dress, where you hear someone walk in on him and he starts to explain himself in a panic before the video cuts. Like obviously he was fine if he uploaded the video, but the framing of the joke is one that lets the viewer laugh at the idea of him being in a bad situation for being gnc. And a lot of the trend of guys crossdressing for content has this same air about. And its not like i think people should never make jokes about themselves or their gender presentation, but these jokes being the only expression reinforces the idea that being gnc  without any ironic self awareness is something to be mocked. These guys get in on the joke, and as a result, do save themselves from some, but certainly not all, of the harassment for it. Its certainly not going to protect them from transphobic laws looking to ban all gender nonconformity.
Trans women cant really do that. That option to situationally frame it as just a joke isnt really and option for us, or for people who arent just crossdressing for content online. And when the nature of some of the jokes often comes off as “at least im not someone who does this because i like it” its kind of inevitably going to create some hostility. And F1nn being the most well known of these guys means a good portion of that is going to be aimed at him, even if he isnt really responsible for all that. But hes well off enough financially and gets so much interaction from his fans that i doubt hed even notice the few trans women who dislike him if his fans didnt make a huge deal about it every time they caught wind of a even a mild complaint about him.
141 notes · View notes
barbedwirechain · 8 months
Note
hi!!! I've been questioning some uncertainty in my identity and you were the first person on t I saw when I looked into the "butch fag" tag, I'm really curious about what it means to be butch and on testosterone, or being butch and navigating the world passing almost as a cis man? for lack of better terminology, sorry if it's not right.
I've been out as trans since I was a kid (almost 22 now.) and I've always went back and forth on my identity bc I don't relate with other trans men or cis men in general but I knew transitioning was what's right for me. detransition doesn't feel correct at all, I'm so happy being on testosterone. im uncertain in my sexuality but have always found comfort with lesbians and butches, and I've always felt the explanation of butch dysphoria sounded more clear to me than wanting to wake up with the body of a cis man. what I mean is I think I'm a butch fag but I don't know what that means, I don't know how or if I'm ready to come out with that. I'm afraid of my future with dating or navigating queer spaces if I claim to be butch or lesbian aligned while still presenting full beard and no desire to change that.
I don't know how to navigate exploring this at all, especially because lesbian spaces online kind of scare me since its so easy to end up following terfs if you don't know what to look for. I don't want to be harassed or make anyone else uncomfortable with my presence. I want to connect with other butches on T. do you know of anything I could do to reach this kind of understanding?
i’ll say if you already see uh butch fag in yourself or find whatever it is in me, in you you’ve already started to reach that understanding. exploring online spaces where you have unprecedented access to people with these more “complicated” identities (more accurately—identities that are generally less referenced than others or not recognized outside of the community for better and for worse) and hanging out in adult oriented city spaces helped extend my understanding of myself as butch.
the longer i understand myself as trans the more i’m comfortable frankensteining my identity (for uh lack of uh better term). i say this to explain why i call myself the most appropriate word for me “dykefag” but butch fag… or faggot butch (on T or not) has uh community precedent. there’s articles and quotes of people saying that term or uh form of it and they’re also transsexual and/or lesbian, although this was something i found only after seeing myself in the phrase.
i understood myself as uh dyke for most of my life and uh lesbian as the most neat version of my sexuality; dyke is something i’ve reclaimed being called that as uh child and call/ed myself that for over ten years now (aside from uh brief period of bisexuality). after being on T though for almost two years i noticed people are less likely to see me as uh dyke so that word begins to feel more personal and intimate for me. but butch?
butch is always exactly right. its not something i reclaimed or have complicated relationship to, i just am.
i am and i mean it with no irony or “meh”-ness; i am butch and i think i’ll die butch.
uh good two years after beginning to call myself butch and right after starting T I leaned into my lifelong attraction to butches, already holding an interest in “‘queer’ masculinities” via research in college. eventually i realized i wanted to be that. i wanted to be masculine ina way that never didnt hold uh layer of unspoken queerness. even in my current “mostly cis-man passing” form (i don’t take it as an insult, i present more masculine than androgynous like i used to for comfort and safety) i’m always butch. most people assume ima cis gay man or uh very hairy bulldyke and at some point i was like… these lines are so easily blurred because of how i decide to embody butchness, on purpose, and (what’s read as) faggotry through my attraction to other butch and queer masc people. i experienced the difference between dyke and fag fade away and began to tag my shit with dyke fag and butch fag to be in the same spaces as other gay trans people who had this line also fade away.
maintaining my attachment to being butch and loving butchness led me to follow “butch4butch” pages and explore butch4butch tags and see myself as a butch4butch gay more and more solidly. and the more i searched for butch4butch, the more i came across trans fags and nonbinary butch lesbians (and both!!). similar to going on tumblr in 2011 and finding out there were people who didn’t believe in the christian god, lex and tumblr specifically led me to uh set of trans people who embodied this faggot butchness, whether dyke (lesbian) or faggot (gay boy) identifying— not to mention all the gay boy dykes and the fagboy trannies. i found/find myself relating to their appreciation of masculinity and consideration of transness and gender noncomformity more than any other space, including ones that are for lesbians which, in my honest opinion, always end up catering to terf-bubbles or narcissist echo chambers that define themselves through gender essentialist ideas about masculinity/men of which i no longer see any viability in.
inside, exploring tags online or apps for Gay people who do Gay shit and have Sexy and Fucked up understandings of gender can help you understand yourself further by identifying and also dis-identifying with others without having to “conflict”. outside?… i rarely explain what i am. and for better or worse, i don’t try to. i let people think i’m whatever they think unless someone directly asks or when cis men try to approach me and to conceal my agab and also deny them i kinda just straight up lie and play cishet man. i recognize we exist under 20 million ___ or ___ binaries, both imaginary and tangible, new and old, outside and inside—shit even nonbinary and binary began to feel like another binary to me recently and the only thing that alleviates that is 1) going through butch(4butch) tags and seeing cis, trans, and who knows butches loving each other in coexisting without pretending they’re at war and 2) being in community with other dykesfags, or fagdykes, and butch faggots irl. and like, lesbians in person are also jus way more awesome. *whispers* like most people. i understand this is, unfortunately, only as easy as your access, space, transportation, and work and personal life allows. most of my adult queer experience is in non-sober spaces ina city that i lived around or in and that can't be disregarded or forgotten.
to wrap this up, i didnt look for em (us haha) til i felt i was one of them but We’re Everywhere. not uh majority but uh presence, and that’s enough. and if i’m being honest even if i never found any of these people, i felt so intensely about being uh butch faggot and uh dykefag i saw myself simply going with it—but going with it with the knowledge that it’s near impossible to make anything up at this point. someone has almost surely shared the idea or identity regardless of if they publicized it or let it be archived. and even as much of this response IS about that, i can’t overemphasize that even if it’s something you did made up, all alone, 200% you, the feeling is true, yea? the beauty of frankensteining your [trans] identity is seeing that you can kinda be whatever the shit you feel as long as it’s truly comfortable and honest to the time with reasonable respect to yourself and your community.
30 notes · View notes
Text
i think in the finale yaz should say “i think you need a doctor” and she should kiss 13 and there shouldnt be a scifiwifey reason for it like 9 had to kiss rose but while shes kissing her she handcuffs her to the tardis console and the doctor doesnt notice bc shes being kissed by yaz can you blame her but then yaz takes a step back, expresses her intentions like 12 does in the doctor falls to bill and nardole after missy leaves with the crucial difference that yazs intentions are not to die and take as many as possible with her, but to live and save the doctor and oh yeah maybe the universe too.
and the doctor tries to grab her to stop her but shes yanked back by the console shes handcuffed too and yaz is just of reach (oh the irony) and yaz just looks at her like the doctor looked at her in timeless children, apologetic but determined, and then she just turns around and leaves without saying anything else and the doctor yells at her to come back of course and yaz doesnt of course but THEN emergency programme one activates and yaz has left her a little hologram message that wears a rueful little smile and says:
“emergency programme one! didnt know i knew about that one did you? lots of things you dont know about me. your turn to listen now, doctor. your turn to stay put. im sorry to do this because i know how it feels but hey at least im planning to walk back in through those doors in an hour or two. you never gave me that certainty. so chin up, bighead. we’re almost there.
ive got a plan. it’s more of a plan than you tend to work with [oi!] but im not as much of an improviser. we’ve all got our strengths. but the thing is for this plan im gonna need someone here.”
then she explains exactly what she needs the doctor to do and when, some technobabble that im not writing bc we’ve all got our strengths
“so theres your task. im sure you’ll be brilliant. [how am i supposed to-] you can reach all the necessary controls from here, ive made sure. [...youve thought of everything] of course i thought of everything i learnt from you didnt i? and if im wrong im sure houdini taught you something about how to get out of handcuffs.
but even if he did, please stay here, do as youre told, and we’re all getting out of this alive. tea at mine after? i owe my family an explanation. gonna need your help with that because i dont think i even know where to start. i believe youve got some experience with that.” theres a beat and hologram yaz takes a deep breath “so, see you soon. and i love you”
195 notes · View notes
maygrcnt · 20 days
Note
okay so I’ve really been thinking about tommy calling buck evan (irrationally thinking about it idk why it’s bothering me) bc why are they doing that? there has to be a reason bc I’d say all his past love interests have called him buck with maybe the odd evan thrown in there when the moment is serious. and technically we don’t get to see tommy and buck’s first interaction on screen bc they’re already in the helicopter when we first see them. and I was thinking chim would’ve obviously introduced eddie and buck to tommy and I would guess he would’ve said “hey this is eddie and this is buck” since that’s what they go by. like he wouldn’t use their government names lool. and then through out the helicopter journey everyone only referred to buck as buck so tommy know’s everyone calls him buck. like at this point does he even know his real name? I would guess not since everyone’s calling him buck. and then I was thinking when buck called tommy to set up the tour he most definitely introduced himself as “buck” since again, everyone was referring to him as “buck” on the helicopter. UNLESS buck said “hey Tommy it’s Evan Buckley - buck from the helipcopter…” BUT even then, it just doesn’t make sense why he’s calling him evan. like when eddie comes to the hangar, eddie calls him “buck” but again, they make it a point to have tommy call him Evan even after that. and they do this all the way through out the episode even though everyone else is calling him buck in the same moments!!! so why is tommy insisting on using his government name?! like ik he called chim “howie” but that makes sense since tommy knew chim as howie but with buck, he met him as buck!!! not as evan !! AND he’s calling Eddie “Eddie” and not edmundo so it’s clearly not that he doesn’t like nicknames Lmao. AND also, I find it weird that buck doesn’t correct him? like I dunno I just feel like he would? he’s corrected his parents in the past and when chim called him evan that one time he was like ???? and again, I understand he’s a love interest but his past LI’s didn’t even call him evan like that yet they had tommy drop evan like 50 times and for what??? has to be something right? I’m trying to think what exactly is could be but my best guess is the name thing will come up on the date or at some point and buck will tell tommy the origin of “buck” and why he isn’t called evan commonly and then maybe tommy will switch to buck?? Or maybe buck with let him call him evan ??? Idk but yeah the Evan thing has been keeping me up at night LOL pls help
big fan of how you went on such a journey there and didnt come to a conclusion because relatble. heres where my head is at personally and stick with me because im gonna start in a strange place
so this show isnt a stranger to name symbolism, natalia literally means birth or rebirth. so buck dating the girl whos name means fresh start after he DIES makes sense, but in a sort of insane irony way i think the death of that relationship was actually supoosed to be the "rebirth" in a sense
and since hes being given this "clean slate" (to throw us back to the last breakup because bucktaylor breakup is literally one of my fav scenes ever) theyre starting us off in a territory we've never been in by showing us through the most prominent symbolism possible. this one seems different because it IS different, and heres one thing this LI is doing that no other LI did, just to prove it.
I do think the other effect of this choice though is that is DOES make us uncomfortable. thats not a name that gets thrown around lightly so to hear it roll off someones tongue like its an everyday occurance rightfully makes us a little apprehensive. I think it could be a clever storytelling technique so as to say this is something that seems looks and feels really good on the surface, but they are throwing in that one little element that provides us with a little unease so that we dont get too comfortable sitting here.
8 notes · View notes
kibbits · 9 months
Note
Hi okay so I've been rotating the break a leg boys in my very neurodivergent head and. I don't know the specifics because I don't know theater or musicals, but with the everything about them - having to relearn how to be themselves, essentially unmasking, and the difficulty with social cues that comes with actually interacting people rather than just performing for them - I just. Okay wait lets start differently -
At some point they become true friends with Y/N, we know that! But do they know? They never had friends before, and with their difficulties I can just see them struggling to even understand the concept, much less where the lines are, and wondering if Y/N considers them friends too!
So while I don't know how you planned it out/ if you have something different in mind already, I just kept thinking of a scene where they wonder and try to ask - hey, are we friends? But they're scared of misunderstanding cues because it's all new, so they fall back onto their scripts! Because despite everything, they know those, and they're reliable and familiar! So they rope Y/N into a little improv scene or perhaps a little musical number where the characters proclaim their friendship, and then they just. kinda trickle out of the scene to ask - are we? because just asking outright is scary, but they can mask it as a play, while also trying to reach past that comfort zone, and I just think they'd really need some sort of confirmation that yes, they are friends!
(and that certainly is not projection as someone who struggles to identify boundaries for friendships and likes to double check also - I mean the boys have the extra complication of Y/N being assigned that job to care for them! I'm sure there's anxieties involved, once the masks begin to crumble! Okay I can be normal now this is. long. GFHDSJ)
HI OK SO!!!! YOU BLEW MY MIND COMPLETELY WITH THIS ASK AA
So uh as you know you're the one who recently made me realize I'm audhd and,, , in the light of that,, , SO MUCH of my own goddamn AU just. clicks.
----------
first of all-- YES! Yes, I totally see them doing that! Setting up an elaborate scene and thinking about how it'll go, late at night (imagining in scripts how YN might react)
They purposefully leave the end of the script blank so YN (who might not realize it's based on reality at first, or sees it but thinks they're reading too much into it) gets to the end and goes: "Uuuh guys? I think I'm missing a page? Are they friends or not?"
And the boys go: "We don't know-- are they?" (hopeful puppydog eyes)
----------
Second of all, I'll use this as a jumping point under readmore cause my god it made me see the AU in a new light dfkljdg
Cause uh I realize now that it's not just an AU about 'what if they'd never become daycare attendants' but rather about acting (masking, putting up a front, internality vs externality, discovering sentience, discovering themselves and each other as people) in general
So I think that first of all,, due to the nature of the thing, YN is probably ALSO audhd and struggles with boundaries, because I do, too. (head in hands i genuinely didnt notice now much i coded them pff But then again, uh... I am ALSO pretty good at masking fgjkldg)
I can get very attached to people very fast, and I call people my friends easily (but like. several different kinds of friendships?? Different degrees of intimacy and points of connection) but i also need to hear it from the people in return or else i get wary of "taking up too much space" (despite the irony of liking when other people are interested gjklgd)
----------
But. MY GOD LUCE. THEY'RE ALL SO ND (specifically Autistic and ADHD, healthy dose of anxiety and More)
So we've got Sun and Moon who are a Problem Animatronic, who are Strange and Offputting sometimes. They take their roles too seriously, they embody them, they don't 'act like real people' outside of that. They follow arbitrary rules, and expect you to know and follow them, too.
And then Y/N comes along, and they immediately follow along with their rules (read:script/assigned role) not only that? But they clearly establish their own rules, too, as well as reasons for Sun and Moon to follow them (god. you see what I mean by everything being so clear in retrospect??)
Management sees: Holy shit, after countless maimed staff members, a(disposable one)n intern bumbles along into the closet where the Actor has been shoved, and miraculously gets them both to cooperate??? And they survive? Without injury?
Sun/Moon see: FINALLY some good fazzing food communication!
In reality: AUDHD to AUDHD communication is happening dfklgjkld
----------
so uh just wanted to say all 3 are AUDHD.
Sun collected all the kinetic/high energy symptoms and habits, like physical hyperactivity and restlessness, full body stimming (watch out for the limbs!) poor volume control, jumping the gun and interrupting, things like that
Moon got the more internal ones: Non-verbal or minimal words a lot of the time, doesn't like to be perceived when he's not acting, sits like a gargoyle/floor time/other pressure stim (WILL flop onto you) and also chewing fkljdgj, innatention etc
They both def don't have personal space awareness, are anxious and restless but in different ways, sound stims/echolalia out the wazoo
Y/N by nature will be different but since its my AU they'll reflect mine so. healthy mix/helping of both? fgjklgdl Inattentive, both super observant and blind to obvious things, sometimes less verbal, sometimes hyperverbal, pacing and shaking their hands like they can't contain all the things they want to say, Floor Time (tm)
----------
Lots of mirroring and parallel play hangouts, they're all both cats and golden retrievers your honor. Sun will pick up YN and/or pace. Moon will flop over/near them. YN is good with both jkldk They can hang out in silence, or talk for HOURS.
YN will just start singing a random silly thing and bouncing in place and the bots will sometimes mirror (Moon not so much verbally but he can hum, and Sun can actually talk through the speakers (buttons) on their chest while Moon is out anyway)
Oh yeah that's another thing! Sun can help Moon out if he's out but has a hard time communicating, because they can both talk while the other's out as part of their duet setting. They don't often do it, though, because most of the staff would freak out if they knew they were both active at the same time? Which is silly, it's literally built into their routines/gimmick!
Man now I am thinking of so many nice hangouts (of course its not ALL sunshine and rainbows but. They click well.
29 notes · View notes