#and i feel guilty for wanting more

[irritablepoe]

not to be absolutely stupid and cringe. but i am drowning in solitude. i am consumed by my longing for love and attention and care.

#johnny's silly rambles #vent #the people around me don't fill this void inside myself #like irl #and i feel guilty for wanting more #bc i don't do anything to achieve that #and always wish that someday.. someday it'll be better #and usually that works #but the past days the “someday” didn't help much #anyways. it'll pass....it'll pass

[thebibliosphere]

One thing I really miss from the pandemic was when you could rent new release movies at home. As a disabled person who is largely confined to home, it meant I finally got to watch a lot of new releases and be up to date with all the things my peers were watching and enthusing about.

As it is, I'm probably not going to get to see Barbie for several months until it comes out on MAX. And by then, most of the hype will be over, and the hype is so much of what makes it fun! It's the ability to be included in a way that doesn't hurt me or cause me undue distress, and like so many accessibility things that were implemented during the pandemic, it's just gone.

idk, man. I'm just... I have a lot of emotions over what it means to be disabled and to have your peers just constantly move on without you and not even notice they're doing it, and you're just the lonely kid that never got invited to the movies because you're Different so a few months later you take yourself to blockbuster and watch the movie alone in your room and know you'll have no one to talk to about the new fun thing you love because everyone else has already moved on without you. Except you're not a kid anymore. You're an adult. But you're still nursing that hurt because the rejection never stopped. You're still Different. And no one makes allowances for things like that.

#I saw and heard more from my friends over the pandemic than I have in literal years #and then I just went back to not existing anymore #because I don't live in the real world #I live between worlds #and people only visit when it's convenient or they feel guilty #I just want to be included in stuff #I want to do the fun things too #I just need to do them differently...

[tanglepelt]

Dpxdc 177

Danny and Damian are twins. Danny was killed by Damian obviously. The normal only one heir business.

When he was put into the pit. Either by a guilt ridden Damian or Talia late in the night. He vanished. Natural portal whipped him away. Right in the path of Jack and Maddie. They adopt the little 8 year old who has no memories of his past.

Normal stuff happens. Danny dies a second time becomes a halfa and befriends cujo.

Now cujo loves Danny and loves to visit him. Too bad cujo gets Damian confused with Danny. But hey. He had two people now. Double the pets.

One day Danny is playing with cujo and cujo unannounced decides his ppl need to meet.

Danny was clearly confused. First where is he? Cujo that was completely naughty behavior. Then there was a dude staring at him. A doppelgänger? Another clone? Like this dude looked nearly identical to him besides the eyes.

Now Damian. Damian recognizes Danny right away. Now he likely thinks this is a clone or something.

#dpxdc #dcxdp prompt #dpxdc prompt #dpxdc crossover #cujo just wants them to meet #he has two people this time #they have nearly the same ecto energy signature #Danny’s is just extra and with a tad bit more spice #Damian feels guilty at this point #he could of told the batfam #maybe he didn’t #i like the idea of Damian being the one to save Danny #a little bit of digging and Danny was adopted by the fentons two weeks after his body disappeared from the LOA #demon twins #i like the idea the whole clone island thing happened #so not just Damian instantly trying to kill him #but maybe emotions get the better of him

[stuckinapril]

every time i walk into my local library i make sure to look at the receptionists with big wet eyes before heading to my corner to study bc i really want them to hire me as a part-time aide

#not even bc i need the money like it would just be so good for my mental health #extra cash would be nice but i also just like existing there #i don't need another thing on my plate but this feels like anxiety relief more than anything #esp bc w all my pre-med stuff sometimes i feel guilty for reading recreationally. this would force me to be somewhere i love to be #i WANT to be around books for 6 hours at a time. stacking. shelving. cleaning those precious books #i will burst into tears if they don't let me #i literally know the dewey decimal system by heart i'm perfect for this #p

[buwheal]

OH!!!!! HAVE YOU CHECKED THE CYBER CAFÉ DUMPSTER by any chance? there HAS to be some leftover cake there!!!! i heard there was an event recently!!

#Sorry if its a little choppy i was starting to feel really guilty LMAOO #and im short on time a bit #BUT #its done and i cant even bare to look AHA #maybe i enjoy being evil.. a little.. #BTW THIS IS NOT A BAD REACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARENT BEING PUNISHED!! #i mean besides this being crushing but ill elaborate give me a little #[you've got mail!] #spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy #hes grateful. he really is. um. but theres a mix of emotions that was just maybe a lot. #I feel like he needs this a bit #sorry but not sorry him CRYING in front of you means a lot if you decide you want to pick it apart and understand it a bit more aha #i havent really made him like cry or anything because he REALLY hates it especially infront of other people and it just wasnt enough yet #uh and i was a little nervous about doing it until someone else did it and it was like a 'ohh okay... so i CAN do that...' moment and i #gave myself permission

[l3irdl3rain]

was still trying to make up my mind on which cat i need to adopt and then the rescue with the persian posted updated pictures.

#I’m legally required to adopt him now #diabetic cat I am coming for u next just so u know ♥️ #also it is silly that I feel guilty adopting a cat I really want when I know there’s a cat that needs me more

[lunarneo]

Poor Neo- "Wait a Second...."

#I thought I was the problem and at fault initially #and thought I needed to be better #be more. You can't make someone cheat though #certainly not saying I was perfect #I'm sure I had my quirks. It's just interesting to me how things played out #:D now i struggle not knowing if I'm overbearing and gonna drive people away! #i shouldn't feel guilty for sharing what happened to me #but i still do. this happened to me and i should be allowed to share it! #also this is NOT about “”being poly=cheating“” #I ASKED about poly relationships. THEY didnt like poly. i said ok. THEY cheated. they wanted monogamy and cheated. #very annoyed how many people commented on my art saying how their partner cheated on them and wanted poly #or saying shit bad about poly #THIS IS ABOUT CHEATERS GONNA CHEAT #i only included the poly thing because it was a connection i made that i thought was particular #furry #digital art #neo #digital drawing #drawing #furry art

[ride-a-dromedary]

One of my favourite personal headcanons lending weight to Halsin's immediate and very vocal distaste of how refugees are being treated in Baldur's Gate (aside from being a half decent man who has eyes and can make logical observations) and his extension of shelter to the tiefling refugees - is that his own immediate family were a group of refugees that hailed from the High Forest that took up residence near (what is now called) Reithwin when Halsin was a child. They left the High Forest due to the increasingly dangerous conditions that were brewing and spreading at the time, concerned the Northern conflict and threat would soon spread throughout the forest. Halsin's struggle with displacement and tendency to feel generally uncomfortable with...well, stagnant comfort, started relatively early on because of this due to unresolved feelings of having been - quite literally - uprooted.

He is particularly sensitive regarding keeping families together, as his maternal grandparents and some of his maternal uncles, cousins and aunts decided to stay on, or could not make the trip, so they were ultimately separated (on a permanent basis, as his grandparents ultimately passed away on their ancestral homeland, and the rest of his family is either long dead or scattered to the wind), which greatly affected his mother.

#i mentioned this in my han and ari post but i wanted to talk about it again #BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #my headcanons #irt the high forest look into hellgate keep #idk i feel like i just want more variety to headcanons regarding halsin and this is one i have grown fond of #and for me if thaniel followed halsin from the high forest out of him coaxing him that he would be safe #he does the very rare nature spirit thing of actually moving domains and it *goes poorly* it lends even more weight #to how guilty halsin feels because of it - it's HIS fault Thaniel was uprooted and rerooted and then ultimately pushed to the brink

[sysig]

Light and darkness, but mostly darkness (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Gaster #Sans #Papyrus #Ft. Mercyplates! :D Yaaay #Unaligned made its way onto my Handplates playlist So quickly - it's such a Gaster song to me! #His connection to Toriel's riddle and his regrets and wanting to constantly go back on his decisions - positive and negative! #And depending on how you want to read it his relationship with Toriel as adoptive family as well - and definitely ''Will I create a martyr'' #That's you Gaster! It's you! #And that's not even mentioning how the bros fit in heck and gosh #Would definitely recommend - Unaligned by Natewantstobattle (for the 50th time recommending a NWTB song lol - they're good!) #Mercyplates! :D Yay!! #Sans and Gaster wearing father/son matching turtlenecks lol everyone is happy abou t this haha #It would be an interesting divergence from Papyrus defaulting to dark shirts to feel grown up :0 #Gaster was here first! It's a very teen thing to do haha #''My uncool dad and copying my really cool style'' while Gaster provided him with all his clothes from his own closet lol #Silly one of Gaster reacting to being punched in the face a la Mercyplates haha - you deserve more than that! #/There's/ the misery shower :) Have a nice guilty shower why don't you really ruminate on everything #Privately rattling his bones away from where anyone can hear over the white noise of the water falling #And finally a smoking smoke-goop post-void Gaster :) #I actually wasn't sure if I wanted that one to be voidy Mercyplates Gaster or not but I eventually decided on just regular classic void #Darkness everywhere! Inside and out! Soul dipped in it - outside reflects it

[shepscapades]

Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :> #but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :] #but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—> #ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

[roachemoji]

🤡 ⭐️ funny little cardigan 🌙 ❤️

maybe I'll actually dress up and style an outfit or something

#bo posting #my art #crochet #granny square #FINALLY TOOK BETTER PICTURES!!!!!!!!! AUGH #im still unbelievably proud of this #enjoy me never shutting up about it #its the first thing ive finished.... in months #and i feel like crying #ive been so envious of everyone around me being able to even hold a pen #and i had to chanel my creativity elsewhere and that was in this and this only #i was tired and felt guilty for how sick it made me feel to be in artistic spaces #or seeing my friends draw #like??? unproductive. helps no one?? 🗞💥🧠 #so this was my solution #its the only creative thing thats made me happy in a long time #its the only creative thing that ive done for myself lately too #doing something creatively for other people has been hard #wahhhhhhh #i want to put my creative energy ive put into crochet into more things. i dont like how hard thats been #idky i havent been able to talk about it #like articulating it properly is one thing but like? never... even tried #i think it hit when it was the only thing i could tell my therapist that i could do that made me happy rn #the only expectations were my own #wow i did NOT intend to vent but hey thanks for reading 💏💖💋💞

[starrysharks]

STICKERz

#zeno's art #ocs #ultimate x-calibur #nova starbridge #optico #of course a redraw of jan's new years piece #have i improved? idk #i guess my artstyle is more cartoony now #i want to say i've gotten better at coloring but i used less colors here than i did in jan #this will be the end of the purple period (lying) #also whenever i draw personal art i always feel guilty i've got like 10 comms to do 😭 #i hope you guys can forgive me #here's to a year with better art #and also 2024 WILL be the year i start a band it's been my dream it will happen god willing #even tho i've gotta get a gee-tar first... maybe i'll practice my sister's dusty old acoustic to get used to holding them #ok. sorry i was weird this year but thank you all for supporting me!

[ailendolin]

The ghosts gave up so much when they told Alison it was okay to leave.

They haven't just lost the Coopers that day - they've lost all the little things Alison (and Mike) have brought into their afterlives. There will be no more war documentaries for the Captain, no more football for Pat, no more Friends for Thomas. No one will lay out their favourite books for them and turn the pages every morning. No one will put on their favourite music, dance with them or set up the chess board. No one will time the Captain's morning run or decorate the Christmas tree just like Fanny likes it.

I know they still have Julian to turn on the TV or music but with the house being turned into a hotel, they can no longer indulge in these things like they used to, not with guests around. And those guests will be staying in their bedrooms, robbing them of what little privacy they have or perhaps forcing them to give up their rooms altogether. Given that none of them used Heather's bedroom when she was alive, I think it's safe to assume they wouldn't constantly want to share their rooms with the livings.

They've lost so much when they let Alison go, and they must have known they would before they talked to her. But they set her free anyway because that's what you do when you love someone: you have their best interests at heart, not your own.

And I think that, more than anything, shows how much they've grown since Alison came into their lives.

#my heart honestly aches when I think about the sacrifice they made just so Alison can be happy #I'm sure Alison put some clauses into the contract like 'the chess board must always be set up' to make it more comfortable for them #but that only goes so far #I wonder if she realises how much the ghosts have given up for her #and I wonder if the ghosts try to hide it from her when she comes to visit #because they don't want her to feel guilty for living her life #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #mp bbc ghosts

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay #give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods #in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it #maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him #which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico #hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery #nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly #and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident #whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow #maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly #so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy #and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico #and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen #while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it #and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love #no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together #cupid's methods are just way more effective #my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god #pjo #jasico #my dumb headcanons

[pistachi0art]

More Ben fam stuff I believe I have neglected to put here

#Neo’s way more of an E boy now #men’s fashion can be difficult sometimes aight #small things #the twins are Marley n Neo #bc YES I take back what I said about Ben not having any twin siblings #I like twin dynamics ok #and Cohen! #I’m going through his design n personality and have landed on ‘moody singer who writes songs about how shitty everything is’ #he’s also like. coping bc he took Ben’s ‘thing’ #long story short Ben really liked singing when he was younger but never wanted to pursue it #and Cohen just happened to also be really good but not as good as Ben so he claimed that singing would be HIS thing #and now he feels guilty bc he knows that Ben never pursued it bc Cohen took that confidence from him #and it was really more about the fame n glamour for Cohen too so #he feels his singing is ingenuous #lmao #lore jumpscare!!! #big thoughts #late night posting #benrey fam

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

The struggle to burn the fancy candles instead of "saving them for a special occasion" is nothing compared to the struggle to use the fancy matches

#I love the fancy matches so much #So much that I don't want to burn them #I CAN JUST BUY MORE #The POINT of them is to burn #I bought them for This Express Purpose #Screaming to tell myself don't feel guilty about it