#and i fuck up and make mistakes but i always know there's tommorow and that makes me so happy

[elswifee]

Jealousy Jealousy

Warnings: violence, drug!use, alcohol!use, future smut, flirty!ellie, dom!ellie, jealous!ellie, bsf!ellie, nerdy!reader, sub!reader, f!nger!ng (r!receiving), strap!usage (r!receiving), scissoring, angst.. I guess??

Summary: player ellie finally convinces her bestfriend's, y/n to go to a party after school, when she get jealous of people start looking at her with hungry eyes. Causing a scene, may cost her, her bestfriend.

A/N: umm so this is my first ever fanfic so please I apologize if any Grammer mistakes, and I will be including spanish words into all my stories bc that's my first language. But I obviously will translate what it means in English. PLEASE DONT BULLY ME!! Anyways, thank you angels. ♡

Part 1 | Part 2

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It was 10 pm and you were reviewing your studies from your classes earlier. You had showered, changed into some pink shorts and a white tank top, and made yourself some tea. You were already in bed just going through some pages of your text book.

Knock, knock.

You grunt, getting our of your bed and walking towards your front door. Another two knocks emit from your door. "I'm going, jeez." You open the door to find yourself infront of Ellie. "Hey, doll. How you doin'," She says as she steps inside, pulling you in by your waist, hugging you, and pressing her lips on top of your head.

"Els, what you doing here?" You asked

"What, I can't come see my bestfriend anymore?"

"No, you can, but I was just abt to go to bed," you say, heading back upstairs to your room. Ellie tailing behind you. "Awh, already. It's bearly 10:30" She whines, taking off her leather jacket and converse. Jumping on your bed and getting under the sheets. Soon you join her covering yourself too. She grabs the remote and turns on the TV. "Soooo," she starts. "Yes, ellie?" You say, already knowing she is going to ask you something.

"There's going to be a party tomorrow at some fratboys house, wanna come?" She asks, but before you say no she begins to beg. "Please come, you never want to come. You'll make me really happy... pleaseeeee?" You roll your eyes. You aren't surprised, it was no secret that ellie was pretty popular in school because she is in the soccer team, but also really popular with the ladies. "I don't know Els, I have a test tommorow and I'm going to be busy studying and-" you were cut off by an annoyed sigh. "But you always study. There isn't gonna be any damage if you don't study for one night. Please y/n come tommorow." She whines, wrapping her cold, veiny hands around your waist. You had no bra on, making your nipples perk up due to the coldness of her hands.

You push up the covers up to your neck, covering yourself. Your turn to face her, your faces just about a feet away. You can see all her freckles, and those gorgeous green eyes. "Ugh, okay fine. I'll go." You finally give in, and ellie is squealing like a little girl. Chanting yes yes yes! Before hugging you again. "Okay, okay, ya Calmate!" (Calm down) Your Spanish coming out as she starts to tickle you. Soon she calms down, you guys lay next to each other you facing the wall and her facing your back, hugging you from behind. Your stomach erupts with butterflies as soon as she slipped her hand under your top. Drawing small circles against your warm, soft skin.

Soon you fall into a deep slumber, although in the other hand, ellie was still awake, trying to get as close as possible to you. Your scent of coconut and roses drove her fucking crazy. Her cold hand soon turning warm due to your skin. Your legs rubbing against her sweatpants . She enjoyed these moments. Being in your arms while you sleep. She feels so lucky to be your person. The truth is, Ellie has had the biggest, fattest crush on you, ever since you introduced yourself to her in biology class in 8th grade. She is just too pussy to confront her feeling to you, thinking it'll ruin yalls friendship.

Don't fuck up your friendship! Don't fuck up your friendship! DON'T FUCK UP YOUR FRIENDSHIP!

#ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #tlou #ellie williams x reader #toxic!ellie #bef!ellie #abby anderson #abby the last of us

[ram-de]

group project shenanigans (4)

i swear this one fucking class i took. just a weekly supplies of pain and stressses and meaningful shit. i fucking hate it. i don't like the group, or at least the way they barely do anything. i hate that i'm working like i don't know, twice as much compared to other? i worked on the presentations, i also work on organizing discussion, i also try to lead more. and like. fuck it. i am so fucking tired.

and when the supervisors revise things. they don't asnwer anything. and i like. i took the stress. the blame. and all. and i. i hate you guys. and like. fuck. i'm getting too heated.

i'm not a wise leader i shouldn't be one in the first place because i got too anxious about not meeting the deadline and i just fuck it just let me work on it myself and I LET IT HAPPENS TOO MANY TIMES. why? because i feel bad for being agressive like i can't bring myself to say hey why don't u work on ur stuff. or like is there anything you'd like me to help. OR LIKE. I DON'T KNOW. I JUST ? i'm not a leader okay. and i try not to be. i try to lead discussion but i'm not good at it.

there's time when i wanted to burst and like explode and most of the times it's because of fucking group projects. because i hate it with a burning passion. and even if there's a group project i'd like, i'd rather be with someone i don't know at all so like. at least that way i don't have to feel guilty because i sort of know them as friends and like couldn;t b edirect. they're just. shitty.

in a spur of angry moments i write these stuff. and you know what. fuck it. i can't be the always goody two shoes that;s like "o you can't make it to the group discussion> its ok" or like "o you didn't work your portion of task distributed before? that's fine." or like "o you didn't ask me if you need help and so you didnt do anything? fine by me" or like "o you couldn't make it to the meeting although you agreed and you just told me this 5 minutes before we started? chill!" I'M LIKE. GUYS!? I'LL FUCKING WORK ON IT ON MY OWN IF I COULD. SAVETHE STRESS. BUT LIKE THEN, I'M SUDDENLY A "BAD LEADER" WELL DUH? I'M NOT ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE? NOT EVERYONE IS SUITED TO BE ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE? I'M BASICALLY A SACRIFICIAL LAMB?!?!?!??!

You know what. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking angry and I just need. A BREAK!!!! THAT IS!!! A FUCKING BREAK TO JUST SORT OF RUIN MY DAY. MAKE TOMMOROW BETTER. I DON'T WANNA TALK WITH ANY OF YALL SHUT UP SHUT UP. I'M GOING TO GET SCOLDED FOR THE GROUP MISTAKES AND EVEN THEN YOU HAD THE NERVE TO PUSH ME INTO BEING A REPRESENT FOR ANOTHER CLASS SUBJECT!?!?!?!?!??!

aASDHASGDJAKDJAS

maybe it's good i skipped class just now because or else i'd be having a silent meltdown and i'd ended up walking home with a very dejected and stressed face.

SOMEONE READ MY CHAT AND DID NOT ANSWERED? FUCKER. okay.

okay. whataver. i feel angry still but it's fine. it's fine. it's fine. evetthign it's going to be fine. NOT!!!!!! i'm just fucking tired let today be tommoorwor already.

#explodingrams #ramAcademics

[we-are-inevitable]

Okay headcannons! More will definitely come tommorow because I'm most likely going to watch the movie for a refresher but I like the amount I have so far so, here:

- Davey and Jack are adjusting to a new life at the same time. Jack is more adjusting to not running and stealing all his life and Davey is just,, trying to move on from the fact he was lied to his whole life (yeah, he's gonna have some trust issues).

- Les becomes attached to Davey right away? Like sure, he never knew his brother, but he immediately becomes comfortable with the idea. And Davey takes a little to come around (poor Les thinks for a while that Davey hates him - which couldn't be further from the truth) to the idea of not only having a little brother, but also a sister.

- Because the magic hair portion is cut in this au, there's no set reason for Snyder to take Davey. I was thinking out of pure greed because Davey was the air to the throne, of course Snyder would want that power over the royal family.

- Not necessarily a headcannon but the whole "day in the village" scene with Javid... I love them

- Like the ending of the movie, Jack does ask Davey to marry him a few times. After a few years, of course. Jack knows that when Davey feels ready, he'll say yes so he doesn't bring it up too often but he does ask a few times. I don't know, It's cute. I love them.

- Esther and Mayer are the best with Davey. They're just,, really understanding and let him adjsut to royal life on his own terms because, again, kidnapped and lied to his whole life - while still giving him the responsibilities he has as a prince.

Again, more are on the way, I just need to refresh my memory.

BRO THE WAY THESE ALMOST PERFECTLY ALIGN WITH @tarantulas4davey AND I’S THOUGHTS ON THE AU

Jack and Davey are two sides of the same coin.

David has been stuck all his life; Jack has been on the run for years... it’s very strange.

Let’s talk about Jack for a moment. From his basic, natural instinct, he wants to run. That’s what he’s known all his life; he’s used to rugged lifestyles and danger and trouble. But, from a survivalist standpoint? The castle is heaven. He doesn’t have to worry about injury, or sickness, or, hell, running out of food- he has all of this comfort at his disposal, and he’s going to make the most of it... even if he constantly feels like all of this is going to be taken from him in an instant.

Now, onto David. As we know, he’s been stationary his entire life; he hasn’t had his adventures yet. On one hand, this means he’s very well equipped to just... stay in the palace. He’s used to the sedentary lifestyle; it doesn’t bother him much. But, on the other hand... even when he’s in the castle, he longs for the outside. He longs for the chance to have fun, and get hurt, and learn from his mistakes. He longs for adventure and danger and mischief.

Basically, what I’m getting at is that:

Jack wants a taste of the life that David has always had, and vice versa for David.

NEXT:

oh my god LES

i’m just gonna paste what chandler and i said in the discord:

JAC: les is so sad because he just found out he has a big brother !! but his big brother doesn't really want anything to do with him, at least not yet

CHANDLER:  just- he wants to be a good big brother but he’s genuinely only ever been taken care of and he doesn’t actually know anything about the world, so it’s not like he can teach les until he learns and it makes him anxious that les won’t want to know him if he can’t be a g o o d big brother like everyone else has

JAC: OH FUCK AWW

omg but then like. les is the one to help davey learn new things; maybe not academic things, but social things, because les is definitely the social butterfly of the three of them

SO YES WE BOTH LOVE THE CONCEPT OF LES GETTING ATTACHED

NEXT:

so i kinda put some thought into this and while i DO agree that snyder’s main reason for kidnapping davey would be greed, i also think that it would serve as some form of revenge.

Let’s say that, in the kingdom of Corona, King Mayer passes a law that has a rougher effect on the lower class. Not necessarily a bad law, just one that affects them.

And, well... Snyder is lower class. And Snyder takes it personally.

And Snyder is determined to make Mayer and Esther’s lives that much more painful.

NEXT: 

okay so me and chandler kinda talked about this one !!

it involves sarah, so, bear with me:

David is prepared to take the throne until, on a technicality, he’s told that, if he takes the throne, he’s unable to marry Jack.

This is because the kingdom’s advisors choose who the new ruler is to marry, as to uphold the ‘integrity of the kingdom,’ and since Jack is quite literally an ex-con, it doesn’t bode well for their relationship.

So, when David is told this, he gives up his chance of ruling the kingdom and passes the torch onto Sarah, who has been training for this moment since she was a young girl.

SIDE NOTE: we also discussed Sarah being very cold and calculated toward David at first; she’s been training to be Queen for years, because she was always believed to be the eldest, and since no one knew that David was alive. But, when David comes home, everyone realizes that, oh... David is the eldest, by no more than seven minutes.

So, on that technicality... Sarah would have been training her entire life for nothing if David were to actually take the throne.

This does cause a rift in their relationship (or lack thereof), and it isn’t mended until David reveals to her that he’s not going to rule Corona, because 1) she’s WAY more qualified and, 2) he doesn’t want to give up his relationship with Jack, the man he wants to marry when the time is right (even if it takes a few years).

FINALLY:

Esther and Mayer are... trying their best.

While discussing the AU, Chandler and I came up with this fact:

David, who is normally very levelheaded and calm, would have a lot of problems with emotional regulation due to his past of being lied to and mistreated and, because of this, he would take it out on Esther and Mayer from time to time.

They understand, of course; David is still working through his trauma, and he is certainly not the son he would be had he been allowed to grow up in the castle, but he’s trying and that’s all they can ask of him.

There are moments, though, when they’re out of their element. They’re tasked with helping their eighteen year old son learn the basics of royal life and human development and social skills all while trying to run a kingdom; of course they would be met with a few snags.

Sometimes they rush him into things, and sometimes they make false assumptions about what he knows and doesn’t know, but at the end of the day, they’re trying to be the parents they’ve never been able to be for him, and he’s eternally grateful for the fact that they... aren’t giving up on him yet.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THESE AHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!! I’M IN TEARS OVER THIS

#royalty au #newsies #jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #esther jacobs #sarah jacobs #les jacobs #javid #javey #newsies live #livesies #newsies 1992 #92sies #headcanons #newsies headcanons #jac writes #ask a jac ! #oof-musicals #chandler tag

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Ardor

"I hate to say it, but I think is the end for the Hassaikai." Chrono said as you walked close to both mens and changed looks of worry to the child on the white haired man. Frowning at the fear she carried and at the man with the jacket on your front.

You couldn't ever be considered a hero, but neither a villain... You were more of a.. agent. The young head of the Shie Hassaikai, Overhaul, only knew you as (Y/n). Young, passionate and most important to him: a true loyal to the Hassaikai, maintaining your trust to him and only him.

You grimaced each time where your mind remembered you that you actually were working for Sir. Nighteye agency for years... you used your true name and were commanded by your boss to get infiltrated on the mafia for about five years.... you had to stay and gain the previous boss's trust and it wasn't that difficult... but the most annoying yet worth part was to get his adopted son and successor's trust.

"(Y/n)?"you gasped and looked away from eru to see one gold eye staring at you over his shoulder "Dont get your emotions over your head, this way we wont be able to achieve out goal..."

'Our goal'... ever since this man developed feelings for you he always talked like that. At first you were repulsed but... eventually it happened what you prayed to heavens to not happen... You actually started liking him...

Getting to know his past, him lowering his walls to see that, on his mind, he is only trying to get the yakusa on a respectful place again, fulfill Pops dream and cure the world on his own way... you had the informations needed, but you refused to tell anything about Chisaki past to Sir, bubble girl or even Lemillion... that was way personal and seeing the cruel and cold man actually cry over his hatred of his own quirk was painfull...

You had hoped after Kai was alerted by the heroes that he would put you to along to fight along with the eight precepts of death... This way you could just show to the heroes your identity and get the fuck out... but no. Kai decided to order that both Chrono and you come with him to escape along with the girl you just wished the heroes just alsnatched away from him and ended this madness.

Chisaki as soon as he noticed you had a way of words with Eri, begrudily he gave you the work to take care of her... for a bit of time.

Your tears got mixed with Eri's ones at nights...

The worst part was the guilt. You actually llcame to love the man Chisaki hidded from everyone else, but despised Overhaul for not following pops morals and doing such a thing to Eri.

Grimacing, you remember how it went your first day as a infiltrated...

.

.

.

"So you want to join the Shie Hassaikai?" The elder asked in shock as you stood in front of his deck, sweating at the feather glare the younger dark brow haired man gave to you as soon a dyou even steeped inside.

"Y-Yeah.." you sighed, a finger lightly stroking your cheek in nervousness "I'm sorry if I appeared out of no where and with such a high request..."

"You should be." You flinched at the male voice as the elder scolded him.

"Well, I dont see why not after what telling me. What is your quirk again young one?" The elder showed his palm at you and you gulped when you felt golden orbs narrowing at his place.

You took a breath before one pair of bright white wings grew on your back.

"The name is angel. Not only I have those wings, but with a simple touch and time I can cure someone's deep ir minor wound... the inly bad point is that if I use the cure I cant use my wings to fly and vice versa..." The elder widened his eyes while observing your wings in awe.

"Such a marvelous quirk..."

"Not quite." You giggled, a hand on your neck "Is pretty annoying to be honest and I would rather not have at all."

"That so?" You let out a confused sound before looking at the sorce of the question. The man whose was looking like he was about to kill you, now had his arms crossed but with eyes filled with interest despite the stoic expression.

"Uh... yeah? I mean. Quirks actually gave the humanity some trouble so..." you smiled in awkwardness "I would rather at least see how people and society worked without it.. like, a quirkless person was considered normal some time..."

"... I see." His arms uncrossed and got into his pockets as he stared at you before the elder let out a chuckle.

"I guess you already are welcome kid. By now this brat would beat the shit out of you if you didn't impress me or him." You let out a shriek as the man deadpanned and scoffed.

"... welcome to the Hassaikai." And with that the man left the office.

"(Y/n), please forgive me sucessor's behaviour." You turned to him and making your wings curl up in your back and crawl back inside you "He takes this place and our work very seriously.. and I hope you take as well, I will let you know that we dont tolerate traitors."

"I want all of my fingers with me." You giggled making the elder snort.

"Very well, your ritual of welcoming will be tommorow by six. That young man you saw there will make you some company since I saw that he took quite a liking on you. His name is Chisaki Kai."

You knew that already but only nodding. Leaving the Hassaikai and after a few blocks away you pressed the device on your ear.

"You have to work a bit harder to get their actual trust, doesn't matter how ling it takes we need to see what is going on inside those walls agent (L/n)."

"Understood sir..."

.

.

.

You could only be thankfull thhat you entered before Nemoto or else your undercovers would be failed and probably you would be dead by now...

Your ears picked up panting and immediately your wings spreaded out, Eri gasping as your two companions stopped walking.

"You sensed something?" Chrono asked and before you could answer, the blond who worked in the same agency as yours appeared.

"Lemillion.." you whispered, half in relief and half terrified.

"I'm here to rescue that girl..." Mirio panted, clenching with two fingers his cape as a signal he recognized you but not blowing your undercover...

Great kid, not get out with Eri already... run. Run for your life Mirio-!

"Now that you know thhe situation you're putting your hero mask huh?" He sighed before opening his eyes again "Mr. Student..."

"Overhaul.. is still a kid." You whispered and he only lifted his palm, a sign you got for you to be quiet for your own good.

Nemoto and Deidoro will be here soon and you couldn't even alert the kid!

.

.

.

"You should be more carefull..." you muttered while using your quirk on one of the injuries on Rappa's arm. "You know how master Overhaul is not someone to mess with..." you sighed as Kendo scoffed, punching his own hand.

"I will get him next time!"

"I doubt that..." you gasped at hearing his voice "(Y/n), you shouldn't be wasting energy with a piece of trash..."

"Say that one more time on my face OVERKERK-" the man stooped when you got up and glared at him.

"Go Rappa." The man scoffed and muttered curses, leaving both of you alone. Just when you were about to leave you heard his footsteps getting closer to you. "Mhn? Need something? Chisaki-kun?"

"Actually I just came here to... talk." You let out a confused sound before snickering.

"You took a liking on me huh?"

"... what if I did?" He arched one of his eyebrows up and soon you remember that not even if Chisaki wanted he could lie very well... at least inside the house.

Oh...

"Uh.. I-I dont know what to say.." you smiled as Chisaki nodded, crossed arms over his chest as he opened them slowly.

"Despite having a quirk, you seem to be the only person I dont see a problem talking to, neither... having any hives on when you accidentaly brush your skin against mine." He chuckled at your shocked expression "So I just wanted to spill this pain out of mt chest is bothering my work after all. Resume, I'm not as disgusted by your presence then the others."

You stared at him as he walked away before you called his name. Him looking at you over his shoulder with a hint of curiosity behind those nonchantly eyes.

"I dont feel disgusted by your presence as well." You smiled as his eyes went a bit wide before scoffing, giving his back to you as he waved.

What a weird guy...

.

.

.

"CHISAKI!"

You widened your eyes at Mirion literally apearing out of no where, managing to both kick Chrono's literal fucking face and cause a minor cut on Chisaki's cheek. You shriek and grabbed Eri, spreading your wings to fly above the males with her in your arms.

"(Y/n)-san... he will kill him! He will kill you!" Your eyes were wide as the girl clinged on your shirt for dear life as while watching the scene from above.

"(Y/N)-SAN!" Lemillion shouted over at you as your blood ran cold, no! nO! NO! "GET ERI-CHAN TO SAFETY!"

Shit was about to hit the fan and you couldn't do nothing about it!

"... how does he know your name..?" You flinched and looked down at golden eyes filled with actual shock and anger towards you and the girl in your arms "Angel?"

You felt your eyes burn at his look.

.

.

.

"Y-You.. can't actually be serious.." you whispered in horror when he finished his plan...

"That is the only way to bring the Hassaikai out of the shadows." He sighed, looking at you and getting in front of you "Can't you see? With that girl's quirk we can make it happen. We can rule the underworld market." He grabbed on your shoulders as you tried your best to not to tremble "I can even cure you... you always said you didn't liked having those angel's wings..."

That was actually true... yet his plan was insane! Terrible, horrible monstrous you name it! Yoh meet the girl when Chisaki called you along to Pops meeting...

On those years you had stabilise a actual relationship with Kai... your worst mistake so far in your mission... you literally ruined the mission when you notice that you actually cared for him...

"K-Kai... is a child no less... Boss's granddaughter! H-He-"

"He will understand in one way or another." His eyes literally were gleaming in happines... hell, only you were able to see such a look with more frequency and you despised for loving it.

Tears started to form in your eyes as you tried your best to not let him notice, but he did...

He always did..

"... despite you not having your wings." He wiped one tear out of your face, even getting so far by touching foreheads "You will still be my angel..."

You gulped, how can a man whose was planning to take a girl's blood to make bullets be so fucking caring and loving to you?! How?!

"Kai p-please..." you sobbed "This will not end well..." you so desperately was trying to make his mind... if he did that then you surely would end up getting against him by force due to your job! You couldn't let him do this and ruin his own life with it!

You.. you couldn't bear to see him behind bars or even worse... killed by a hero... or let him even discover that you were a fucking agent!

You couldn't bear to even imagine the betrayed look he surely would give to you...

"It will end okay. We will be on a word without sickness (Y/n)." He pulled you to his chest making you gasp "As long as I have you my dear, I will end up well. After all, I couldn't ask for a better and precious angel like yourself."

His words sting... badly. You wanted so desperately to not catch feelings... and now you just wanted to die because you couldn't just betray him or dissapear...

.

.

.

"I dont have any children." You widened your eyes and shouted at the top of your lungs.

"KAI NO!"

It was too late, he used the overhaul and and the concrete formed into spikes and plataforms went towards Mirio as Eri clinged onto you tighter.

"AND YOU!" you gasped and dodged a spike, aimed to destroy your wings "HOW DARE YOU EVEN TO CALL ME THAT AFTER WHAT YOU DID?!"

You cried but maintained strong while dodging and flying away from his attackers, protecting the girl on your arms at all cost as Lemillion dodged Chisaki attacks.

"AFTER EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU-!" You screamed when a wave of concrete chased you only for you to do a backflip and get away from his attack "AFTER SEING ME AT MY WORST-!"

You shield Eri with one of your wings and hissing at the little spikes of concrete getting stuck on it.

"WAS THAT ALL A PLAN?! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?!" You looked at him and widened your eyes at seing the state he was, messy hair, hives on all of his body as he attacked you with all anger you never saw once in your years living with him. "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU PAY ME BACK WITH THIS FUCKING BETRAYAL?!"

You didn't blamed him.

You landed on the ground after dodging more of his attacks, getting to look at him while protecting Eri with one hand on her head and the other supporting her body.

"I TRIED TO TELL YOU! I TRIED TO PREVENT THIS ALL HAPPENED KAI! " You cried but he slammed his hand on the wall harshly.

"YOU LIED TO ME (Y/N)! AND STIP CALLING ME THAT! THAT'S NOT MY NAME ANYMORE!" you clenches your jaw before flying away from his attack one more time.

.

.

.

"Entering~" you sighed in a sing tone before seing Kai sitting on his bed, crunched over and staring at his hands "Uh? Kai?"

He muttered something so shakily you didn't even get to understand as you closed the door behind you in worry.

"Ne ne? I didn't hear you wel-" you stopped and widened your eyes at seing Kai actually fucking trembling, looking at his hands in horror and anger..

"He didn't listened... he refused..." he muttered under his breath before brabbing at his temples and glaring at the ground "I tried! I tried to make him understand and he didn't listened!"

Yojr eyes widened in horror getting that "him", was Pops... today Kai had told you he was going to explain the plan to the man... and you knew it very well that Pops opinion mattered a lot to him, yet he got actually hurt when the elder denied his offers or ideas...

"Hey.." you cooed, sitting down and asking silently if you could hug his shoulders as he continue trembling, surprinsinglu leaning onto you "Don't worry, you can figure it out another plan..."

"Dearest... I.. I didn't wanted to... but he didn't listened..." he spoke between teeth and you sighed, cupping his cheeks and making him look at you, a sense of calm and peace washed over his eyes as his breath started to calm down again "Is that part of your..?"

"No.. I just happen to know my boyfriend is all.." you smiled as he sighed, holding one of your hands there. "What... happened..?"

You wish you hadn't asked... when he explained the whole situation your eyes widened as you tried your best to remain calm.

"... he will see." He muettered, more calm than usual as he interlocked his fingers with yours "Is for the better anyway."

"Y-Y-You know I can-"

"No. Your quirk is unable of reaging his brain back to put him out of a coma. Dont even think about it."

This was getting out of control... everyday you tried to change his mind but it took time to convince Chisaki. But seems like you werent fast enough..

"I dont blame you of being scared of me... you can leave if it is your wish."

You gritted your teeth together before letting out the smallest of the sobs before hugging his neck. Causing him to jump in shock and had his arms stood awkwardly in the air.

"If I didn't know you like I do I would leave..." you sniffled "But that's not the case..."

You could leave but your heart spoke louder at the time... damn him.

.

.

.

You eventually got chances of who was protecting Eri, but just when Mirio had the cake to distract both of them, Nemoto had to just appear and shot the towards Eri.

And mirio was going to throw himself at the way to just protect her.

"TOGATA DON'T!" You shouted but it was too late... but even quirkless the kid fought Chisaki as you crawled Eri in your arms and shield both of you with your wings.

The look of hatred and hurt Chisaki would throw at you now at then absolutely breaked you as you hugged Eri tighter...

"I'm sorry (Y/n)-san! Is all my fault!" The child cried on your arms as you shushed her the best you could even if you were shaken up.

"Is not your fault sweety, a bunch of people came here to take you out of this hell.." just when you spoke Mirion appeared beaten up and you cried, you couldn't even use your cure becaus eyou knew you had to have your wings.

"Mirio!" You cried, grabbing him when he fell on his back and cursing at the injury... now you da to protect both of these kids.

"... onne of my biggest mistakes I always thought it was to fall for you.." You lifted your head with tears in your eyes. He only looked so... hurt, beaten up and hurt... and your cursed yourself for feeling this more than the two kids in your arms.

"I dont want to kill you... you dont even deserve my energies."

"Kai.." you whimpered "I didn't lied to you..!"

"That's." He crouched down "NOT MY NAME ANYMORE!" he slammed his hands on the ground... you gasped, shielding you three with tour wings and closing your eyes at the impact... only to notice the spikes were aiming at you, but stopped in mid air.

You looked at him and could see that he... actually didn't wanted to kill you nor even injure not even your wings. the man you came to love was painting while glaring at you.

“WOULD YOU SERIOUSLY DIE FOR THIS BRATS?! (Y/N)?!” your teras fell on the ground as your gazes were locked.

“I would die for you too... I didn’t wanted this to happen because I KNEW this was going to happem..” You sobbed while hugging Eri tighter in order to protect her “But you didn’t listened...”

He seemed to slow down his movements until they barged in... your boss and the heroes. With one blink Overhaul was back as you and Sir still protected as a green haired kid fought agaisnt Chisaki. 

.

.

.

“You’re telling me no one even said “i live you” your WHOLE LIFE?!” You almost screamed as Kai deadpanned, papers still on his hands as he stared at you.

“Is just three words for Godness sake...” you huffed at his ablant answer before smirking, getting behind him and showing your wings to surround bor him on his chair and you. “What is this? Did you even washed those today?”

“Yes sir.” You giggled, flapping your wings a bit to get upside down on his front without disturbing what he was doing as he only gave you a look.

Sometimes you forgot about the undercover work... your emotions getting the better of you when around Chisaki... all the times.

“Is it wrong of me to quite enjoy this particular pet name?” You giggled while lowering his mask carefully down his chin to reveal a handsome smirk adoring his lips.

“Whaaat? Love bear and Captain cookie isn’t one of your favorites?” You laughed at the flip he gave to your foreheads

“Absosutely not. Disgusting even.”

“Well, my capoo you dont seem to mind it.” You rubbed your forehead, getting flustered when you felt his hand carresing theback of your head and bringing close to him.

“I don’t. Surely.” you blinked before giving a lovely smile back at him

“So you won’t mind me saying “ I love you” then?” the scene in front of you will ever be mesmerized on your mind. Kai blushing almost crinsom red with wide golden eyes at you.

He scoffed, looking away from you as you whined.

“Heyyy! Say it back!”

“Give me a break woman.” He sighed while playfully pushing your face away.

“SAY IT BACK!!!!” you didn’‘t missed his chuckle while holding your upside down face away from him as you shaked your arms in vain to try to slap him.

.

.

.

Go on you both.” You got Lemillion up before spreading your wings “Protect her with the best you can, Lemiliion!”

Things coulnd’t be worse.. Chisaki had fused with Nemoto and was fighting agaisn’t sir with all his forces.. You flew and dodged the many concretes and spikes on there befre you widened yours eyes at the scene. Sir with his quirk activated as Chisaki went to attack him.

No! If Chisaki killed a hero his penalty on Tartarus would be worse than already will be!

Your body moved on your own, your wings helped you fly faster as you extended your hands towards your boss and just secongs it seemed like it was in slow motion... The spike right on your front, golden orbs widening at you entering the way as your hands pushed Sir. Nighteye out of the way and-

“(Y/N)!” both your boss and Chisaki shouted at the same time, one secong before the spike pierced your flesh and got through your body.. making you gag and cough blood.. wings falling at your sides as you fell.

“I.. I didn’t-!” The hero shouted in horror “This wasn’t what I saw!”

“Future... not always... can be seen...” Your body gave out, and when you were expecting to met the floor, a pair of gigantic and monstrous arms grabbed you. “K...K-Kai?”

“Why, Why did you do this?” he asked in venom, potentionally using the quirk of Nemoto, you ggigled.

You had nothing left to hide anyway...

“If you k-killed a hero... your sentence.. would b-be wo-worse..” You coughed and he grimaced, his hands grabbing you tighter as one of your wings shot up to prevent a bullet to hit him as he widened his eyes at your faint hiss.

“You.. You-”

“Kai... I.. was a agent... infiltrated a-at the yakusa ever s-since.. I met you... so-sorry... I sho-should have l-left...”

“THEN WHY DIDN”T YOU?!” his wrathful eyes soften in horror as he saw you giggle, blood spilling from your lips as you stared up above with empty eyes.

“Be...because... I-I fell in lo-love with you... Chisaki Kai... Not.. Overhaul.. I love you, Kai.” His eyes widened in realization, Nemoto’s quirk was activated... you weren’t..” Heh..  ne-never lied about that... is always impressive.. seing your shocked face...Kai...” Your wings that were shielding you both fell on the ground as your vision was starting to fade. 

“Hang on!” he was about to use his quirk until he saw your hands weakly pushing one of his gigantic ones away “Wht are you-?!”

“Don’t.. make me a second... v-version of Rappa... will you? I.. don’t deserve it... after all...” your gaze slowly fade as Chisaki shaked your shoulders desperately, shouting, begging even for you to not close your eyes “H-hey..?”

He felt your cold hand graze of his beak and reach his cheek.

“C-Can you... at least... say it back?” you smiled at the tears falling on your face as wide golden eyes stared down at you.

he sluttered your name as you frowned..

“Pl.. please...?” your hand start to slide down as he grabbed with one of his four hands to keep it there.

“(Y/n).. I lo-!” he couldn’t even finish his sentence as he saw the life draining out of your eyes and your wings giving a last spasm...

He couldn’t eve hear anyoney else... all he did was let out a monstrous and loud shout while his own goal was to kill every hero which was stepping on there.

Fuck the Hassaikai, screw the bullets and his project... Screw everything!

His only love died on his hands because of the fucking heroes, this fucking job of yours whose caused all of this.

Now, he just wanted to watch everyone on there die by his hands...

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki x reader #kai chisaki #overhaul #bnha fanfics #bnha fanfictions #bnha villains x reaader #bnha x reader #oof- #let it the rain drop! #zuffer writings

[jjchantill]

Anniversary: Luke *Part 2*

A/N: And here is part 2! Remember requests are still open and happy reading!

Part One

Luke P.O.V.

               You kicking him out sobers him up pretty fast. He has no idea where he is going to go as most places are already closed being that it is 4 a.m.  The thought of just grabbing a hotel room for the night crosses his mind, but the desire to be alone right now is not a strong one. Instead, he opts to go to the one place where he is usually always welcomed…his bandmate and your brother’s house.

“Luke, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be celebrating your anniversary with my sister?”

“We got in a fight instead,” he says.

“What?”

“I came home, and we got in a fight. I…I fucked up, Ash.”

Ashton lets him in and the two head to the kitchen.

“Please tell me that you didn’t cheat on my baby sister because I would really hate to have to kick your ass, Luke.”

Luke shakes his head, “no, it’s nothing like that.”

Ashton sighs in relief, “good. Then what are the two of you fighting about?”

“Our anniversary,” Luke mumbles.

“What about it? You couldn’t decide on a restaurant?”

“I forgot it.”

“You forgot it?”

“Yes, I forgot our anniversary and instead went out with rest of the boys before coming home drunk. Then we got in a fight about mistakes and I may have mentioned a specific mistake…”

“You didn’t, Luke. Tell me you didn’t, mate. It’s been five fucking years.”

“I know! I know it’s been five years; I don’t even know why I even brought it up. I was just drunk and pissed off and I lashed out. But that’s not even the worse of it.”

“How could it possibly get worse?” Ashton asks.

“I kind of…well, I kind of accused her of doing it again.”

Ashton who had just taken a sip of his water, spits it out all over the counter.

“You accused my baby sister of cheating on you?”

Luke’s head fall to the countertop, “I’m an asshole.”

“I hate to say it, mate but you are.”

“Help me, Ash. She’s your sister, how do I fix this?”

“I’m not sure that you can, Luke.”

“No, don’t say that. There has to be a way to fix this…”

Ashton sighs, “look, mate. She’s my sister, but she’s your wife. You know her better than I do now, the two of you share things with each other that I have no idea about. You screwed up and you need to own up to that. You’ll figure out how to fix this and while you do, you can stay here for the night. Then tommorow you go home and try to make it up to her before she kicks you to the curb and raises that baby of yours on her own…”

“What?”

Ashton freezes, he wasn’t supposed to tell Luke that you’re pregnant. You had specifically asked him not to tell Luke because you wanted to surprise Luke.

“Nothing.”

“No, Ashton…you said…you said baby. You said that Y/n would raise a baby on her own. What baby? Is she…is she pregnant?”

“Nope, I must have been thinking about someone else. You know how sleep deprivation works, makes you switch things all around and things.”

“Ashton.”

Ashton sighs before running a hand through his hair, “she’s going to kill me.”

Turning to Luke, he nods.

“Yes, she’s pregnant. She found out yesterday and made me promise not to tell you because she wanted to surprise you.”

“Y/n is pregnant…I’m going to be dad…I’m going to be a dad!”

Luke jumps up from his chair and heads to the door.

“Where are you going?” Ashton calls

“Home. I have to see her.”

“Luke, wait…stop.”

Ashton grabs Luke, “it’s five a.m. You guys just got in a fight, she’s probably pissed, pregnant, and exhausted. She’s probably already asleep and if she’s not then you are the last person she wants to see right now. Wait, until the morning that way she’s cooled down at bit and gotten some sleep.”

Luke sighs before nodding, “you’re right. She needs her sleep, especially now.”

Ashton nods and Luke heads up to his guest room to try and get some sleep before making his way home to you.

The Next Morning

               You wake up with red and puffy eyes and a killer headache from crying all night. Heading to the bathroom, you wash your face before placing a hand on your stomach.

“Well, little one…I was supposed to tell your daddy about you yesterday, but that didn’t happen so it looks like it might just be you and me for a while.”

Heading downstairs, you start to head to the kitchen before a sound makes you pause. It sounds like there is someone in your kitchen. Grabbing the baseball bat that Luke keeps at the end of hall, you slowly make your way into the kitchen.  All you can make out is a tall figure, so you start to swing out only to have the bat caught by whoever is in the kitchen.

“Love, it’s me!” Luke yells.

“Luke? What are you doing here?

“Apparently about to get my head bashed in,” Luke says.

“Sorry.”

You put the bat down and Luke pulls you into his chest. At first you relax, but then you remember that you’re mad at him and quickly pull away.

“You never answered my question. I kicked you out, what are you doing back?”

“I came back to make you breakfast and to apologize for being an asshole, if you’ll let me.”

“Are there pancakes?” you ask.

“Chocolate chip and strawberry,” he says.

“I’m listening,” you say, walking over to the plate stacked high with pancakes.

Luke nods, “first things first, I love you. I have loved you since the day we met, and I will love you for the rest of my life. I’m sorry about what I said last night, I was drunk and pissed off but that’s not an excuse for how I treated you. I know you would never cheat on me, I don’t know why I said it. I 100 percent deserved to be kicked out and I understand completely if you never want to see me again. But I just want you to know that these past five years have been the greatest of my life because of you. I am the man I am today because of you. I know I forgot our anniversary and I promise you that I will spend the next year making it up to you in any and everyway I know how if you’ll let me.”

He’s silent as you make your way around the kitchen island and to him. You cup his face before pressing your lips to his.

“I forgive and I’m sorry too. I did kind of overact to everything last night, but it’s not my fault it’s the hor…”

“hormones?” Luke says.

Your eyes go wide, and you pull away from him, “you know? How?”

He laughs, “Ashton told me. Your brother can’t keep a secret to save his life. ”

“Oh, I’m going to kill him. I wanted to tell you,” you say.

“Well, considering how you wielded that baseball bat, I would say that Ashton should be very afraid,” Luke laughs.

“I thought you were a robber or something, I was protecting myself and the baby.”

“A robber? What kind of robber cooks breakfast in someone else’s house?”

“I don’t know, the strange kind. The point is I was defending myself and our little one.”

Luke laughs, “I can’t fault you for being protective, just next time look before you swing. A little lower with that bat and our baby would definitely be an only child.”

You laugh before rolling your eyes, “haven’t even had the first baby and you’re already talking about another one.”

He shrugs, “I can’t help it. I’m excited to start our family.”

You smile at him, “I am too.”

“I love you…both of you,” he says, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“And we love you too. Now, hand me the rest of those pancakes please, little Hemmings is still hungry.”

Luke laughs before shaking his head and sliding the plate of pancakes back towards you.

#imagine #imagines #preference #preferences #five seconds of summer #five seconds of summer imagine #five seconds of summer imagines #five seconds of summer preference #five seconds of summer preferences #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #5sos preference #5sos preferences #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 second of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer preference #5 seconds of summer preferences #five seconds of summer blurbs #five seconds of summer blurb #5sos blurb #5sos blurbs #luke hemmings #luke imagine #luke imagines #luke preferences #luke preference #luke 5sos

[luca-moreno]

void

Luca word vomit idk

--

“You’re so fucking weird, Moreno,” one of the squad laughs as they haul on their packs.  

Earth isn’t at all what he expected.

Bootcamp isn’t either.

The hills in the distance look far away and the day is already hot. Luca feels sweat beading on the back of his neck, runs a hand over his freshly buzzed hair. He used to be so pale, now his skin turns darker shades he never realized could belong to him. He hates this harsh sun, the way its rays bite into his skin like tiny needles. It’s burning him, he thinks. He’ll wake up tomorrow red and sore. How did humans survive this long, on a planet trying to kill them daily?

He flashes the others a tight grin and a shrug and tries not to show on his face how the words bother him. “Yeah, I know.”

--

The wards weren’t friendly but neither was Earth or the Alliance.

But Luca puts his head down and he works. He runs the tracks, he climbs the walls, he shoots and swears and rolls and he keeps his head down and he’s just another inductee that his barely sixteen sol years flies under the radar to their eighteen. He’s baby faced and green and alone.

Nobody notices.

--

Wide hands gripped his shoulders and a smile flashed. “It’s not that long, Luca. You just gotta survive two more years. You can do it, I know you can.”

It was hard to hear over the din of the departure lounge. Luca’s throat grew tight as something akin to panic crawled its way up his throat. “I don’t... I know if I can. Not without you.”

Kiosho grins, mismatched eyes under a messy mop of blue trimmed hair. “Sure you can. Just don’t let them give you any shit. And Luca… even if you don’t feel it, bluff. They can’t tell the fucking difference anyway.”

--

He didn’t make the two years. He barely made it to one.

Code skittered across the screen of the terminal. His heart thumped so hard he could feel it in his ears. He cracked the firewalls like they’re nothing, swooped in and manifested a whole new reality and hoped it wasn’t a mistake.

It was… and it wasn’t and it still didn’t get him what he wanted.

--

The other boy notices Luca long before Luca notices him.

And why would he? He was just another tenderfoot, another one of the crowd, another pair of boots falling into line and pounding the pavement, another body in the mess hall trying to dig their way through the slop that’s considered to be their meals. Luca listens with half an ear as the gaggle of recruits around him bitch and moan about the food, picking at it unhappily but Luca remembers what it’s like to be hungry. He never protests.

The boy slides into the seat opposite him but Luca doesn’t look up.

“It’s your accent, you know,” the other boy tells him conversationally.

It takes a long moment before Luca realizes he’s talking to him. He looks up. “What?”

“Your accent. You probably don’t even realize it, but you do this weird little burr thing with all your words. Like drell and turians do.”

Luca lowers his fork slowly. He’s lost count of how many times he’s had to say it now. “I didn’t grow up here.”

“I know,” the other boy smiles. He has blonde hair, and eyes the colour of earth’s skies when they’re running drills in the daylight. “Neither did I.”

It’s hardly unusual, lots of the recruits where from all over the terminus systems, most shuttled back to Earth for training. Luca holds himself short of leaning into a kindred spirit, if that’s what he even was. He takes a closer look at the boy in front of him - pale skin, long fingers, lean limbed.

His mouth clocks it before his mind does. “Spacer.”

“Yep. I’m Saxon, by the way.”

“Um. I’m… I’m Luca.”

Saxon picks something off his tray and eyes it critically. He glances around before he shrugs and pops it into his mouth. “Sure beats keleven nutripaste, huh?”

Some of the tension around his shoulders seems to ease. “Yeah, it does.”

--

There’s a lot Luca finds he likes about Saxon, and some he doesn’t.

But mostly it’s how he doesn’t feel so… alien… when he’s with him.

Music croons in the background, some old earth song Saxon had dug up from the archives and Luca strums along on the battered guitar he’d scraped all his meagre credits together to buy. Smoke curls around them, a dusty tobacco that makes Luca’s nose itch and his limbs feel weak. Don't you want to be free? Do you like girls or boys?

“So, do you?” Saxon asks one night, slowly taking the guitar out of his hands. The clouds are rolling in, Luca can taste something in the air that leaves him shivering. The rooftop is his sanctuary.

“Uh, do I what?”

Saxon looms closer. “Do you like boys or girls, Luca?”

Luca’s skin prickles in awareness. In heat. “Boys,” he whispers.

Saxon’s teeth flash in the darkness, and he pulls Luca in.

--

Luca wakes up alone, head throbbing and thick with something that was once sweet now turned bitter. His body aches, sore in places that he didn’t want to acknowledge and marked with splotches that make him double take when he sees his refection in the mirror.

He runs a hand over the marks and smiles to himself.

The smile doesn’t last.

“Saxon, wait up!”

The gaggle of recruits don’t stop but Luca only focuses on one blonde head. He jogs to catch up, still calling out. “Saxon!”

Finally they stop and Luca can feel their eyes on him. “Uh. Wait, so. I just wanted to-“

“Hey, it’s the duct rat,” one of the men laugh. Barely a man, but solid enough to pass. “That’s what they call ‘em, isn’t it?”

Luca’s gaze swings to Saxon, willing him to look at him. He doesn’t.

“Sax-“

“Give it a rest, Luca,” Saxon shifts on his feet. A glance over his shoulder, a shared laugh and almost an apology but not directed at him. Luca isn’t always great with signals but he can feel the sudden unfriendly prickle in the air, the hostility.

You’re so fucking weird, Moreno.

He opens his mouth.

Saxon walk off.

--

It happens more than once.

--

It’s confusing, like trying to hold onto sand slipping through his fingers, up until it isn’t. He finds his space, amongst the twisted wires and loose threads, in the circuitry and flow of an electrical current. He always had an affinity for machines, for tech and code. There were no nuances to wade through. 

On or off, I or O. Luca always knew where he stood with his tech.

He chose a path and followed it to the end.

“Hey, Luca.”

Luca’s head snaps up. Saxon is a black shape blocking out the stars in his quiet place. He tenses as Saxon steps into the paltry ring of light thrown off his datapad and sits beside him on the threadbare rug.

“What do you want?” Luca asks flatly. His face still burns from being rebuffed. His ears still ring with the sound of their laughter.

Maybe the first time he might have been able to convince himself it didn’t mean much. A misunderstanding. A misstep. He’s had so many of those here. But by the second and the third it wasn’t possible to kid himself anymore. And Luca didn’t know what else to do, kept going back, pinging like a moth against the light. 

On or off. On. On. On.

“Come on, don’t be like that, Luc.” Saxon leans close. He smells like dried sweat and beer, smoky and apologetic as he nuzzles against Luca’s neck.

Luca tries to lean away. “What, so you suddenly remembered I exist?”

“Aw, like I could forget.”

“You tried pretty hard.” Luca tries to climb to his feet but Saxon’s hand snaps out to curl around his wrist. He grips tight.

“Luca, wait.”

“Let go, Saxon.”

“No, Luca. Come on, I’m… sorry, ok? Jesus, just… wait.”

The inside of Luca’s chest is desolate enough not to shove him away. Not yet. He hesitates, allows Saxon to draw him back down onto the rug. Stars slide overhead, a sparkle in the sky that leaves Luca homesick. He wants to curl into himself but he draws his knees up instead.

“You know, you’re kind of a dick, Saxon.”

“And you’re too much, Luca,” Saxon sighs. He slides closer, hands on Luca’s face. Heavy hands that Luca can’t twist away from. “You’re like a puppy trying to hump my leg whenever I turn around. You’re… loud.”

“I am not loud.”

“No, I mean,” Saxon rocks back and waves his hands over Luca, his face twisted into something pained. “This. You. Loud. You can be… suffocating.”

That stings. Luca scrambles back and Saxon lets him go. “You gotta give people a chance to breathe, Luca.”

--

On or off.

Flick, flick, flick.

Off.

--

His messages scattered to the four corners go unanswered for months. He doesn’t understand. He came all this way, sold his soul to get here and Kiosho was nowhere to be found.

Luca hunches over the terminal. Frustration squeezes his throat. He’s starting to unravel when he’s never been together in the first place.

“Hey, are you okay over there?”

The sob gets stuck as he sucks in a breath. Blue eyes skim him, kind and warm and more than he probably deserves.

“Sure,” he forces out brightly. Happy face, he tells himself. Squeezes away the dampness. Don’t let them see. “Guess I’ll try again tomorrow.”

--

Tommorow.

[No new messages]

And so on, and so forth.

--

Sand shifts under his feet. It doesn’t do that on the Citadel. The walls might shift, but the ground was never knocked out from beneath him.

He wheezes painfully as the screams echo. Dust, that every present choking dust billows up around him and there’s pressure and pain and something wet at the back of his throat. He tries to sit up but his body won’t listen to the signals his brain sends. There’s another boom, another shower of debris and screams and Luca’s world goes dark.

--

When he wakes up, it’s to silence.

The nurses lean over him, lights shine into his eyes, their mouths move but there’s no sound. No hum of the recycled air, no rustle of leaves as the wind brushes them, no stomp of feet on the sealed paths.

Just horrifying, terrible silence and Luca’s own thoughts and the desperate, sudden urge to claw his way out of his own skin.

He doesn’t realize he might be screaming until the prick of the needle slides through his skin.

Then he doesn’t feel much at all.

--

It takes him three months to heal his leg and adjust to his new ears. Some days are better than others and the headaches are somehow the worst part. He gets fast at signing to the OT’s and the doctor’s although they’re unimpressed at his mastery of signed curse words and not much else. For a while he’s angry but that takes too much energy and he can’t maintain it for long.

And stupidly, he waits.

The day they tell him they’re going to release him, he finally plucks up the courage to ask. “Did… did anyone visit?”

Where there any messages?

The nurse is sweet, green eyed, red hair and freckled all over her nose like stars in the black. She shakes her head, a smile that smacks too much of pity on her mouth. “No, I’m sorry, honey.”

“Oh.” Luca sinks back against the pillows. “Okay.”

--

The Alliance took his hearing and replaced it with something half baked, but it’s better than the silence so he doesn’t fuss. They haul him in front of the brass where the truth comes out in incriminating shades of glowing orange and textured lines. A deep dive that wasn’t deep enough, or too deep, depending on how you looked at it.

“Your ID is fake,” they tell him and Luca wants to protest because no, not really. He’s still him. He’s still Luca, some kid from the wards, too loud, too much to hold everything that vibrates inside his bones. It had taken the ride to Earth to be noticed and then the spat in the medical wing to be diagnosed. The meds helped. For the first time Luca’s world evened out.

“Altered,” he’s brave enough to say. “Sir.”

There’s a snap of brows over the datapad. Another officer with a chest full of medals coughs nearby.

“He’s two years in on his training. He’s the legally the right age now.”

“There has to be a consequence. What he did-“

“We’re short on bodies as it is. And with what’s coming... Well, this kid was determined enough to get here all on his own. We should use that.”

All eyes turn on him. “Is that true?”

Luca swallows. “Uh. Yes, sir.”

“Why? Why not just wait until you were of age?”

“I was trying to find my brother, sir.” I was trying to find home.

“And did you? Find him?

“No, sir.” Not yet.

There’s a rolling beat of silence that has Luca’s throat feeling thick. His stomach churns.

“Verdict?”

If they send him away, he has nowhere to go. The Alliance wasn’t home, but it was a purpose.

“Let him stay, but hold back that promotion.”

--

They send him to the edges of Council space. Too human for the wards, too alien for earth. The things that made him stand out under Sol’s light become useful out here. Batarian, Turian, Drell, even Krogan, familiar to his tongue, to his hands.

He’d almost laugh about it, if it didn’t fucking hurt.

--

It’s not the glory the recruitment posters promise them. Its blood and guts and screaming and the desperate search for the quiet space in his mind to give himself a moment to just think-

But bullets spray, shields go down, the turret jams.

They die.

They save the colony, but they die.

“Did you see that?” Checo wheezes from beside him. In the distance there’s the booms of biotic explosions and the flash of figures in armor he doesn’t recognize. They’re not alliance, he knows that much. He presses down on the hole in his side and wonders why it doesn’t hurt. It should hurt, right? The bullet tore right through him and blood leaks through his fingers.

He doesn’t know if he’s cut out for this.

--

Funny how the fates shift. How time and circumstance and one insignificant little moment can set him onto a path he has no comprehension of where it will lead. One second of hesitation, one shred through his flimsy armor that knocks him down but doesn’t kill him and leads him to this.

He’s shuffled into a new squad. Sometimes he’s loud, but they’re louder and Luca doesn’t need to squeeze into the places left behind because they make room for him. Fold around him like he matters. His commander even kisses his forehead like the mother he never had never did.

--

On or off.

Flick, flick, flick.

On.

--

The reapers wipe out so much of the fleet. Names of those lost scroll endlessly over terminal screens. A memorial wall crops up in the docking bay and in the ship. Thousands and millions gone.

Two names typed into a search, one the name that had started it all, the other he wonders why.

Too much, too loud.

He was never very good at letting go.

The terminal blinks.

[Personnel unknown]

But unknown was better than dead, right?

 --

#luca moreno #ii guess we just needed to get that out #excuse me while i go cry now

[janevx]

you are my strange addiction| choi san

genre: kinda psycho au, sanxreader

summary: you and san were the most adorable and wild couple you can imagine. san love you like hell, but you didn’t know about his secrets.

---

 You couldn’t belive what happend. You couldn’t belive that love of your life lied to you. Few minutes ago your friend text you news that your ex boyfriend was part of mafia and he killed somenone, so now he is in psychiatrist. Now everything makes sense. Why ex?

 About two months ago San came to your house without smile. All strict and serious.

“Y/N we need to talk.”

“San? What’s going on? Did something happend?”

“You know that I love you the most in whole world, right? You are the most precious and important person to me, honey. I will love you until I die. You are my one and only.”

“Okay, but why are you telling me this right now? San, please tell me what’s going on?”

“I need to let go of you. I love you y/n, but we need to break up. It’s all for you.”

 You didn’t notice when tears start running trough your face.

“For me? You love me but break up with me? Break up with me for me? You fuckin liar!” You shouted. “Did you cheated on me? How can break up be for me?”

“You don’t understand this, my love. Remember no matter what I still love you.”

 And with this he left. He left like nothing happend. You trow yourself on bed and cry more. You were with San about 4 years, you really love him and you tought that he loves you too. How can he break up with you like that?

   Now it makes sense, he break up with you for your safety. Maybe he knew that police is about to find out, and he tried to hide you. You miss San like nothing else. You didn’t want anything, you just wanted to be in his arms again and talk about some things you two like. Have deep conversation with him. Cuddle with him and tell about your two problems. But he was gone.

 You can’t count how many nights your cried because of San. Because you miss him.

---------------

 You came back from university and you walked in to your room, but you had call. You didn’t know this phone number, but you decided to answer the call.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, why?”

“I am direcot of psychiatrist. This one when I work is your lovely Choi San. I have question. Do you want to meet with him?”

 It was obvious. You miss him and haven’t seen him in month. You couldn’t miss this chance.

“Of course. I want to!”

“Perfect. Can you be there tommorow? I’m gonna send you our address.”

“Okay, I can.”

“Awesome. See you y/n!”

“See you.”

 You were in shock, because you didn’t expecnt this call. Also, you were very happy that you will be able to see your love.

------------

 You walked out of taxi. You were at the end of South Korea. Day was rainy and gloomy. Not the best day to meet with your San, but you couldn’t change the weather. In front of gate was standing male all in black. His face was straight with 0 emotions. You were a little bit scared, because this place don’t look too friendly.

“Who are you lady?”

“I am y/n. Director called me yesterday and asked if I can came, so here I am.

“You need to wait. I have to check if it’s true.”

 It took few minutes, till you could walked in. When you were inside, next to your side approach some tall guy with a little smile on his face. He leaded you to San’s room. Everyhting there was so scary and you were really scared of San. How they treat him? Do they hurt him? Does he miss you? All questions in your head was messing around with you.

“Don’t be scared! It’s normal place. It’s always look like this.” He smiled a little.

“I mean.. ugh, it’s really sad place.” You looked around. “Do you know something about San?”

“Not really. I only know that they keep him on third floor, where are killers. It’s really strict floor. Also I know that he doesn’t like to talk with us.”

“Ah, I understand.”

“Did you know, that he is mafia member and he kills people?”

“No, I didn’t know anything.”

“You sure? I mean you were in relationship with him.”

“I said no.”

 This guy was really annoying. 

 After few minutes we arrived and stand in front of room number 101. You didn’t know when older man were standing next to you.

“Welcome y/n.”

------------------

 San was siting on the chair and look at man infront him. He didn’t say a single word since he was there. San knows that this can only make his situations look worse. He was silent and calm. Man in front of him spoke.

“I have surprise to you. I bet, that after our surprise you will tell us everything with details San.”

 Young man couldn’t understand what was happening, Surprise? He hide you and no one could tell about you, so it was impossible for them to find you,

----------------

“Welcome y/n.” He smiled. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Hey, open the door!”

 The door open and you saw face of your lover. He looked so pure and weak at the same time. They told you that you can walked in. Face of San was shocked. He couldn’t belive that he see you. He couldn’t belive that this motherfuckers bringes you to make him scared and talk. San love you and he doesn’t want to get you hurt, because of his mistakes and lifes. He was furious.

“Do you regonize her? y/n. Isn’t she your love?”

“You are fuckin bitch Seo. I swear, if I’ll be free, I’m going to fuckin kill you..” He said clamly, with head down looking at the ground. “Why the fuck do you mix her up in this?” Now San scream.

“Oh, look who finally spoke.” He smiled. “Oh no! We don’t mix her up, we want you to make you happy to finally see her.”

“How the fuck did you find her?” He was screaming and looked really pissed. You have never seen your love like this.

“Stop being so mad and enjoy your time with this adorable person.”

 They left you two alone. San was chained to the chair, so you need to walk closer to him. You were standing there and you couldn’t stop the tears. 

“S-san.” You crouched. “I miss you so much.”

“Did they hurt you? Tell you something? Threaten?”

“No, why?” You looked into his eyes. “San, I really miss you. Why didn’t you tell me something?”

“Because I love you and care too much about you, to let them to hurt you.” He touch your hand. “They take you there to make me talking. Honey, please run away.”

“Why? San I can’t leave you like this!” You screamed. “I love you and I can’t stand that you are hurt and they have you like this.”

“Y/N you really shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m not leaving. I will never let you go.”

 San was extremly pissed, but he didn’t want to show his furious to you. He wanted to kill everyone who ivolved you here. He wanted you to be safe, happy and healtyhy, away from this stuff.

“Okay princess. Let’s do like I say okay?” You two whispered and make this conversation looked like argue.

“But promise me, that you never gonna leave me alone.”

“I swear to god that I will never leave you, but now listen to me.” He smiled softly. “Now you need to run away, because they want me to speak because of you, because they know that you’re important to me. Ask them about toilet, there is window, that should be open. Take taxi, wahtever and come back to home. When you be home ask Seonghwa about safe place, and then I find you honey.”

“I don’t want to leave without you. What if you don’t make it.”

“Y/N please, trust me.”

“Promise me that you come back to me.”

“I promise.” You leaned, and let San to kiss you.”Now please go, and remember that no matter what, I will always love you.”

“No, don’t tell me this. Tell me when I see you at our new place.” You chuckled lighly so he too.

“Okay, see you honey.”

 You did like San told you to. They lead you to toilet and as fast as you can you run trough this window. You run really fast jus to go to Seonghwa.

 It took you some hours to be back at Seoul and at Seonghwa place. He let you walked in and looked at you with really serious eyes.

“I take you to safe place. You can’t take anyhting with you. Throw your phone away and don’t contact anyone, understood?”

“Understood. But what with San?”

“He will run away.” He shrugged.

“Okay.”

  Everything was so messed up lately. Why this couldn’t turn into good time?

“Don’t overthink y/n. He will be by your side really fast.”

“Seonghwa, i can’t. San is my love. You can’t understand this.”

“Of course I can!” He smiled. “You need to rest. Go to sleep when we arrived. I will have to leave, and you don’t open anyone. San propably has own keys.” He smiled more. “And don’t worry too much, he knows what he is doing.”

“If you say so.”

 The road wasn;t too long. Seonghwa left you and gone. You walked in and go straight to bedroom. You needed sleep and get some rest. Bed was really huge. You were that tired that you didn’t even notice when you fall asleep.

 About 2 A.M you woke up, because you want to drink water. A little bit sleepy, you went downstairs to grab glass of water. When you were about to grab glass you could swear to god, that you heard some footsteps. You turned around to check if someone is in, but you didn\t see anything. You thought it was your imagination, because you were still sleepy.

 But suddenly you felt light touch on your shoulder and you were ready to fight, but when you turned around you saw San.

“I told you I come back. You can’t get rid of me that fast.”

“Oh my god, San. Damn, you are here.”

 You two kissed like you have never seen each other and like it was your first time. You could feel longing between you two.

“I miss you y/n. You can’t even imagine.”

“All what’s matter is that you are here with me.”

“I will always be there honey.”

#ateez #ateez ff #ateez au #ateez scenarios #san #ateez san #choi san #san choi #sanchoi #choisan #scenario #kpop scenarios #kpop au #kpop mafia #kpop mafia au #kpop mafia scenario #killer #au #psycho #mafia #mafia au #killer au #love #love au #fanfiction #ateez fanfiction

[angelicmichael]

Is this love, part two

Xavier Plympton x serial killer! Reader

Summary: Reader is in inner turmoil once again and it starts to put a strain of her and Xavier’s relationship.

Words: 3.7K+

A/N: it feels so good to be uploading again 😭 sorry this took me so long to write! This starts out really dark, gets fluffy in the middle and angst in the end.

Warnings: Basically the same as the first chapter. Descriptions of violence and wanting to murder, but the murder isn’t actually described. Light touching but it’s definetly not smut by any means 😳

Previous Chapter

The past couple of days had simultaneously been the worst and the best week of your life. Admittedly the memories of it were particularly foggy due to how much weed you and Xavier smoked but some scenes seemed to linger in the back of your mind.

Most of the memories you still had were of you and Xavier being cramped close together in the Vanta-C, basically repeating the night of which you two had first met. The sweet parts consisted of you two sharing kisses, cuddling and being attached to the hip - but it got to a point quickly where you needed to take a break.

You felt entirely guilty for doing so and it wasn’t because you nessacarily wanted too but it had gotten to the point where it was what you needed to do.

Just because you were now head over heels in love didn’t mean the urge to kill went away; if anything it grew stronger.

Well, the urge to kill Xavier anyway completly diminished. The way you had become utterly infatuated with him made it impossible to think about killing Xavier; in fact, even you couldn’t even really picture doing it anymore without almost bringing yourself to tears.

However, whenever you weren’t high as a kite and you could actually think coherent thoughts - all that remained was dark urges and impulses. The urge to kill hadn’t left you, it was completely foolish to think that it would have just because you fell in love for the first time.

Coming to terms with that you would never be normal was starting to destroy you. You knew that Xavier’s perception of you was far from reality, to him you were this sweet, loving, innocent girl who needed protecting when really.. it was the opposite. You were the monster. You really were the wolf in sheep’s clothing, you were the one who made men bleed out slowly and relished in their pain and suffering.. and up until you met Xavier you weren’t ashamed of that part of you. However, now it was suddenly your dirty secret and it made you incredibly uncomfterable.

You wanted nothing more to just be another typical woman, worrying about what man they would be sleeping with next instead of worrying who your next victim would be. You wanted nothing more than your future to be spent with Xavier in bliss; being a housewife, having a couple children in the suburbs was something you craved for yourself so fucking badly you could almost taste it. But instead, you just tasted the metallic sweet taste of blood from biting your tongue so fucking hard.

You would try your damn hardest to have that future if that’s what made Xavier happy. Fuck, you would do anything for him.. execpt stop killing of course. You wanted to stop, you really did but you couldn’t. You were already pushing your limits when you met Xavier, and now you were over the fucking edge.

It had been about a week since you met Xavier, and you managed to go this far without killing anyone but today was the breaking point, you were planning to keep brushing it off but Xavier was starting to notice. It was nearly like a damn addict having withdrawals, you were visibly tense - your jaw was constantly clenched and the rest of your body was in a constant state of being rigid. Irritability was another frequent symptom you felt, you started to snap at Xavier for things that didn’t even fucking make sense.

You knew you were running out of time before you would snap and accidently hurt Xavier once even smoking weed didn’t work to distract you from how badly you wanted to fucking kill.

So here you were; you and Xavier were always together, you basically lived with him now so you managed to make up a bullshit excuse to get away. About how one of your friends was really sad and needed you tonight - and of course he bought it.

You parked the Vanta C a couple blocks away; your game plan was different this time. You weren’t planning on taking your next victim ‘home’ to try and seduce them, you just needed a fast fix.

You already decided the death of whomever happened to cross paths with you would be a quick one, painful sure, but relatively fast nonetheless. It would happen here - in the dark alleyway of which you currently stood in. You didn’t have any plans of what to do with the body afterwards; which was unlike you but at this point you could barely think coherent enough thoughts to even focus enough on the task that you had your mind set on doing.

You stopped thinking entirely when you saw a shadowed figure turn the corner and enter the alleyway. No thoughts entered your mind as you could only act on what you felt and truly craved to do.

~

Only a hour had passed; it was passed midnight but also not quite yet in the early hours of morning. The sky was still painted a dark black, with the stars and the moon being your light source as you made your way back to your boyfriends van.

Taking a life definetly relieved some tension from you, but you felt fucking awful. It wasn’t that you felt bad for killing someone, you felt awful for lying to Xavier and using his fucking car for your dirty work.

You felt depressed; and for some reason this made you careless.

You had enough sense to bring your knife back with you atleast. You drove back quickly to Xavier’s apartment, hoping to just slip back into bed beside him without him questioning why you were back so quickly.

You really should’ve taken your time but for some reason; you just wanted tonight’s events to be over and done with. It wasn’t anything for you to be proud of anymore; it was now something you were starting to hate about yourself.

As you stepped out of the van and went to up to Xavier’s apartment; you couldn’t help but think how there was no denying how Xavier was starting to change you. How did it even make sense that a boy you just met a week ago was starting to make you feel love? It wasn’t only that but it nearly made you sick how in love you were with Xavier already - it was almost as if he had you under a spell. He made you want to be better, to become a version of yourself you weren’t even sure exsisted - a version that wasn’t a killer.

You entered the apartment as slowly as you possibly could - shutting the door achingly slow - praying he was still asleep. You tiptoed across the apartment as you dropped your keys also painfully slowly onto the counter before you started to walk toward the bedroom door.

You noted how the light looked to be off inside of his bedroom, thank god. You opened the door and you got ready for bed as humanely quiet as possible.

You slipped into the bed, Xavier was already on one side - as if he was anticipating your return and he left room for you. You couldn’t help but smile at the thoughtfulness of the gesture as you pulled the partially warm covers over your body, and sank into the mattress.

You turned over to go to sleep and as you shut your eyes - you were so close to being able to achieve your goal of not waking up Xavier - until you felt it. A warm hand ran lovingly accross your back, letting you know that Xavier was very much awake. You bit your tongue and couldn’t help but clench your eyes shut with frustration briefly.

“(y/n)”? Xavier spoke.

His voice was low and gravely, and as you rolled over to face him you noticed how his eyes barely even appeared to be open - his once baby blue eyes appeared black; colorless because of how dark the room was.

You couldn’t help but smirk as Xavier sleepily outstretched his arms to bring you in closer - and you happily did so. You shimmied yourself just enough so that Xavier could wrap a arm around you, and even entangled your legs together. You heard him kick the blanket off since it seemed to be getting in his way of getting closer to you - which made you giggle. He put his head on top of yours, his chin resting on top of your head.

You closed your eyes; fully in bliss and drinking him in. His scent, his warmth, everything about him. You were at such peace to the point where you almost forgot of today’s events until your heard the soft rumble of Xavier’s voice once again.

He took his head off of yours and scooted back just a bit - just enough so that your foreheads were almost touching.

“Where were you”? You heard him ask.

You swallowed before answering, your voice wavering as you spoke.

“At my friends house, like I told you. Remember”? Your words came out as a whisper but you spoke fast and quick. You know it seemed too well rehearsed, and Xavier wasn’t going to buy it. You were only gone a hour anyway and you told him you wouldn’t be back until tommorow.

Just through the darkness you could see the corners of his mouth upturn, he was starting to smile.

“You don’t smell like you were at your friends house”. Xavier said with a laugh and you brushed it off with a giggle but when in reality; your blood ran cold.

It was no wonder that you didn’t smell fantastic; After all you did change into pajamas but into the appropriate bottoms - you took your bra off and figured that you could still wear the shirt you were wearing ealier to bed.. apparently that was a big fucking mistake. Also the fact that your hair wasn’t exactly at its prime peak of being clean - it contained sweat from ealier and, probably even droplets of blood honestly.

“What is that supposed to mean”? You retorted playfully. Your noses about a mere inch apart.

“It means that you smell like you’ve been rolling around in the dirt outside”. Xavier mumbled and quickly pecked you on the lips.

You tried to keep kissing him - dumbly assuming that his intentions were to make out with you but you were left feeling dumbfounded and unsatisfied as you felt him quickly pull away. Xavier’s voice, soft and gravely quietly spoke - his lips were barely apart from yours; as if he was trying to tease and taunt you from how close he remained.

“Go shower and when you come back.. Maybe I’ll have a surprise waiting for you”. Xavier quickly kissed you one last time before he scooted farther way, untangling his legs from yours before he rolled onto his back. You huffed in protest as you sat up in the bed.

“Shower? Xavier it’s fucking midnight”! You retorted, a quick glance at the red beside clock Xavier kept confirmed your suspicions of how late it was.

“You better hurry then babe. Don’t keep me waiting”. Xavier taunted as you let out another exasperated noise.

You slowly and painfully peeled yourself off of the bed as you dragged yourself over to the bathroom; ready to take a world record breaking fast shower.

~

You contemplated if it was really necessary to put clothes on at all after your shower. You knew Xavier wouldn’t mind if you came out of the bathroom stark naked but for the sole reason of not wanting to feel too exposed, you settled on some nice lingerie.

Putting on lingerie this late at night definetly felt odd but you tried to shake the feeling off as you stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

It took you a minuete for your eyes to adjust to the darkness - your sure you looked stupid as you stood there squinting - but you soon came to realize that he had fucking fell asleep. You would be lying if you said you weren’t dissapointed or upset, but you figured he was just tired. There was no reason for Xavier to be acting distant, right?

Slipping into more comfortable pajamas, you slid into bed once again next to Xavier and drifted off quickly into sleep.

~

The first thing you noticed when you woke up besides how good it felt to finally not be so tense; was that the bed was empty. And cold. You tried to search out Xavier’s body but you couldn’t find it, and with a defeated huff you sat up.

It was easy to tell where Xavier went. The bedroom door was left slightly ajar and you could see a dim light coming from it, most likely from the living room. You couldn’t hear exact words but you could hear a low rumbling sound as if someone was talking - he was watching tv.

To confirm your suspicions you got up stood in the doorway, opening the doorway just enough to poke your head out and yell at the bastard to come back to bed.

He sat on the small couch that was placed in front of the TV. You contemplated calling out his name to make your prescence known but something made you wait, and your glad you did.

Xavier was watching the news, some early morning talk show. They were currently discussing breaking news and a mass warning; telling people to keep their doors locked and be on the lookout for suspicious activity due to a murder that had occurred last night.

You felt a shiver run through your body, the case on the television was starting to sound way too familiar to you. You walked back into the living room slowly, not wanting to startle Xavier.

You went to go sit in his lap, he greeted you with a lazy “Hey babe”, and kissed you on the side of your mouth before giving the screen his undivided attention, and to be fair; you choose to do the same.

Sure enough; the woman on the screen seemed to describe the murder you committed last night perfectly. Almost too perfectly, and the fact that Xavier was attentively listening to this was starting to make you feel gross, and paranoid. Even though the killer still remained anonymous you felt as if someone was reading your diary out loud like they were seeing a private part of your life that no one else was supposed to have access to but yourself. You felt exposed, and you fucking hated it.

You had to distract Xavier, that was clear so you did it the easiest way you know how. You turned your head and stared at him for a second, admiring his beauty before you gently placed a hand on his soft cheek - turning it gently so that he was actually staring at you. He looked surprised, his eyebrows slightly knitted together but he didn’t dare say anything.

You leaned in swiftly, catching his lips with yours as you started to melt into the kiss and into him. You shifted your legs so that you straddle him, and you left his hands softly go to your back. You felt his hands gradually go lower, and lower until you felt the slight coolness of his hands on your skin as he slipped his hands your shirt.

You knew the windows were open and that everyone could probably see how cozy you and Xavier were getting but you figured that this was currently the least of your worries since that the damn reporter had spilled all your secrets. None of the bodies from your previous murders had been found, this was the first time you were getting press coverage and you were livid. You needed something to take your frustration out on, and you needed it now. The killer was still anonymous; it wasn’t like you were getting credit for it - and that’s what pissed you off more than anything.

You stopped kissing Xavier for a split second, just enough to grab the tv remote that was by Xavier’s thigh to turn the damn tv off. You turned back to him and watched how Xavier first looked completely pissed but then he smirked. You brought yourself in close to him once more and you felt his hands immeaditly slide under your shirt again, his hands this time on your side near your hips instead of your back. You felt his hands travel south but as you two kissed you but Xavier’s lip playfully before you felt him draw away from you. The making out and the light touching seemed to be working as a perfect distraction, like how you thought it would until.. it didn’t. He was the first to pull away. You felt hurt and confused at first while you waited for him to say something.

“I’m not stupid”. Xavier stated, acting as if he was too nervous to meet your eyes - and when he did all you saw was uncertainty, nervousness and a bit of fear which made your stomach churn. You quickly realized where this conversation was going so you awkwardly pulled your shirt down and pulled yourself off of his lap, opting to sit next to him instead.

“Xavier, I never said you were. Where is this coming from”? You asked.

“(Y/n), I need you to tell me the truth. Where were you last night”? Xavier asked, his cercealan blue eyes seemed to shimmer as you quickly realized he had tears in his eyes.

Your breath hitched in your throat but you knew you absolutely could not tell the truth; no matter how much you truly wanted too. You had to play it cool.

“Xavier i swear to god I was at my friends house. Please believe me-“

“Then tell me why you happen to go missing at the exact time that man was murdered last night”?!

Xavier said, his voice rough and rugged with anger. His facial expressions and his voice were telltale signs of how mad he was, his eyes wide and his eyebrows slightly furrowed down.

“I know that wasn’t a coincidence. And I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t see that red stain on your shirt last night”. Xavier finished.

You took a quick breath and replied so quickly that you didn’t really have time to think about what you were saying.

“Do you even know what your accusing me of, Xavier? Did you really think I’m a fucking killer, do you know how absurd that is”? You said, your voice high pitched as you continued to try and persuade Xavier with your well written lie.

Tears stung your eyes, and you figured there was no use in holding them in. You couldn’t lose Xavier, you just couldn’t. He had to believe your lie, there was no other way. You sniffled as Xavier chose to stay quiet you decided to throw him more evidence for your ‘non killer I’m innocent’ claims.

“The red stain on my shirt was spaghetti sauce, me and my friend got high last night and we decided to make spaghetti last minuete. I didn’t tell you cause I knew it would sound fucking crazy... And I smelt so awful because we had to go find somewhere outside to go smoke”. You said.

You tried to meet Xavier’s eyes but he continued to stare at the ground. He slowly looked up at you, a tear or two running down from his eye to the bottom of his jawline. You wanted nothing more than to wipe it off, to tell him that everything would be okay but you couldn’t. You were too much at a risk already of losing him to take the chance of setting him off on top of it. Xavier kept staring at you, not daring to say a word. You slowly spoke up,

“Xavier..” you felt brave so you leaned forward slightly; waiting for him to make any sudden movements to get up or turn away from you but he didn’t. You kept going until you were close enough to choose to touch him if you wanted, and you couldn’t help but notice how tears continued to gently fall down his cheeks.

You brought your hand up slowly; again waiting for him to flinch but he let you gently brush his tears away. You felt his hand grab yours and made you cup his cheek; and that’s when he fully broke down - the tears that were once lightly falling were now cascading, and his breathing became labored from how instensly he was crying and you couldn’t help but wrap both of your arms around him and just hold him.

You blinked back the tears, knowing it was more important to comfort Xavier than to show him you were hurting as well. You gently stroked his back as you felt your shoulder grow wet with his tears. It was hard at first to even hear his voice through all the sobbing but you made out a few words.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry”. You could feel the sobs continue to wreck through his body as you basically held him, and you felt horrible. Suddenly you felt Xavier separate a bit from you, enough to look at you in the eyes. You were still embraced, but now holding each other’s arms a bit more loosely.

“Xav, it’s okay-“

“No it’s not. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, but we can make it through this. Me and a couple of friends are going to camp redwood for the summer, to get away from this crazy killer but babe? Come with me please”? Xavier asked you.

The sadness and misery you had felt a mere seconds ago but it seemed to immeaditly dissipate. You didn’t have to contemplate or think about it at all; the words flew out of your mouth.

“Yes, Xavier! I’d love too”! You said with a wide grin.

You wrapped your hands around his shoulders and engulfed him in a deep hug. You didn’t even consider how odd it must’ve looked to him how fast your mood changed. You were just truly greatful that you weren’t losing Xavier.

You still seemed to have him pinned under your claws.. and it wasn’t like you wouldn’t be able to find any victims at camp redwood, there would be plentiful. It would be as easy as finding fish in water. The difficult part? Keeping your dirty secret hidden from the one you loved most.

Taglist: @nj01 @mina672 @guiltyfiend @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @9layerdevilsfoodcake

#my works #my fic #xavier x reader #xavier plympton x reader #ahs #fanfic #i feel like this is my best writing so far honestly #let me know what you guys think hehe #is this love #i loved writing this 🥺 #sorry im such a slow writer lmao #hope this was worth it tho!

[liddolwhynot2000]

Decisions Of a Capricorn

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Summary: Levi Ackerman woke up one fine morning. In the past. Shit.

Genre: Angst, lets-change-shit, drama, liddol romance (Levixhappiness)

Pairings: Levi/Original Female Character, Levi/Petra

Warning: Manga spoilers

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Chapter 2: White Poppy

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Summary: Capricorns are responsible and disciplined. You always make the most practical decisions. You think about things thoroughly before acting, and you make choices based on what provides the most benefits for everyone.

Alternatively, Levi decides what to do.

____________________________________

Usually, when he was left alone in his office, Levi was either buried in an absurd amount of paperwork, courtesy of Erwin, or trying to sleep a little.

Today, however, he was simply sitting at his desk and staring mindlessly at the table. He didn't even feel the urge to get himself some tea, too lost in his internal monologue.

He was back in the past. The Godamn shitty past.

Eren hadn't turned into a douche bag yet. Erwin was still alive. 95% of the people that had been dead to him a day ago, were alive and well. And if he played his cards right, he could ensure that at least some of them would stay alive.

He could and would change shit.

But.. How?

Levi was a practical man. He knew his own limits when it came to plotting and planning. There was no way for him to change things in a way that wouldn't result in the rumbling. Not on his own. Only the likes of Hange or Armin or-

Erwin

____________________________________

'Erwin.'

'Yes Levi?'

Erwin continued to work, not even bothering to look at Levi as he filled out forms for the upcoming expedition. It was late at night and the blonde commander was sitting at his desk, working away as everyone else slept. Others would think he was simply sleep deprived and that's why he was hardly paying attention to his trusted captain.

Levi knew better. Erwin was always sharp, he just preferred luring people into a false sense of security that he wasn't.

He leaned back against the couch, crossing his legs casually and took a sip of his tea.

'I've been thinking about your plan.'

'And?'

'I think we made a mistake.'

At this, Erwin calmly settled his pen down and finally deigned to look at him.

'Explain.'

Okay, time to put his plan into motion.

'We're sure that The Armoured and Colossal are like Eren right? Humans that's can transform into titans?'

'Yes.'

'The Colossal Titan and Armoured Titan appeared five years ago. Which means whoever is inside those shitty titans, they have at least five years of experience over Eren. Taking him and my squad into a battle field where they aren't prepared for enemies like that-'

Levi could only feel relief as Erwin's expression lit up with understanding.

'It means that I judged wrong. Of course, not all titan shifters would be like Eren. They've had more time and access to their power. More time to harness it in battle. Eren has hardly had 2 months and still can't transform at will. This makes it difficult to use him as bait to lure out the traitor, because simply put, Eren won't be able to protect himself. In which case, we would risk losing our greatest weapon and... '

Watching him open the drawer and pull out the mission plan, Levi realised that he had forgotten how smart Erwin was. He could practically see the gears turning in his mind. The brilliant bastard was changing the plan as they spoke.

'Exactly. And if the Armoured Titan comes after us, we're fucked. We don't have anyone except Eren who even stands a chance against it. And that's not saying much.'

Levi liked to believe it was sheer dumb luck that Annie had come after them, rather then Reiner. They could at least still fight and capture Annie with their limited resources--Reiner would have gotten away with Eren easily.

'Do you think your squad can take on a titan shifter?'

Levi blinked and snapped out of his thoughts.

'Frankly, no. If the shifter is Eren, he'll get his ass kicked. If it's the Armoured fucker, they're dead.'

His old squad just wasn't able to take on an opponent like that. They were all prepared to take on the worst, however, Levi acknowledged their lack of creativity and improvisation. They would simply think between to kill or to not kill, which was likely what would had gotten them killed in the first place. If they had let Eren transform first and tire out the female titan before they fought her, they would have likely lived. His next squad had proven better then them because of this--for they often found ways to fight and get out of it alive against the shittiest of odds.

'Even if we tell them about the traitor?'

'If we tell them, they'll judge accordingly and try to keep Eren safe no matter what.'

If he instructed his squad of the situation beforehand, he was confident they'd get out of it alive. They weren't the best at spur of the moment thinking, but they were still extremely talented. As long as they stuck to his orders and were informed enough, they'd manage well.

'Do you think we should tell Eren?'

Inwardly, Levi winced at the mention of Eren, remembering that he still hadn't figured out what to do about him.

'Yes. The brat needs to be prepared too. And.. I think we need to give him reasons to trust us.'

Erwin raised an eyebrow at him, silently probing for more. Levi obliged.

'The brat's a Survey Corps fanboy. The hero worship will wear off soon enough. I'd rather our greatest weapon actually trust us because we give him reasons to. Don't want to risk him acting out.'

'Fair. This is rather odd coming from you, I-'

'Don't take this the wrong way. I don't trust him. But he should trust us. We're gambling lives for his shitty ass.'

'Ah. I see.'

'How much are you going to change the plan?'

'I haven't decided yet. I'll tell you by tommorow. I need to think on it a little more.'

'I just want you to let me tell my squad about the traitor. The rest is your shit to figure out.'

'... Well, you do have valid reasons so-'

Levi smirked,

'So act in whatever manner you see fit.'

Levi nodded before making to leave. His job here was done. Just as he was about to shut the door and leave Erwin to strategise, he paused.

'You might regret letting me do what I want.'

Erwin smiled at him.

'No regrets.'

Levi almost smiled back, but instead opted to shut the door.

____________________________________

Early in the morning, Levi walked outside in the courtyard. The sun had risen a while ago and the air had been crisp. It wouldn't be long till his comrades would be awake, so he figured a stroll to clear his mind wouldn't hurt.

Had he made the right decision? Levi honestly didn't know.

Initially, he had planned to just tell Erwin everything. About Marley, Eren letting his inner lunatic out full blast, the truth about the King. But, he had stopped himself.

Maybe it was because he had grown used to not having Erwin around, that he was making decisions on his own? Or maybe it was just that he was tired of following orders that only got people killed?

He hadn't wanted to not tell his squad about the traitor, yet he had obeyed orders and stayed quiet. Resulting in their deaths.

He hadn't wanted to go along with the battle in Stohess District, but he had obeyed orders and watched countless civillians die.

He hadn't wanted to take part in any plan that involved keeping Zeke alive but he had fucking obeyed orders and done it. The end result had been a mass genocide that none of them had been able to stop.

He knew Erwin would lead them well if he knew everything, but for now, he would prefer changing things using his own authority. It was selfish of him, but he had learned his lesson.

Ever since that dark day in that field, when he had made his decision to serve in the Survey Corps, he had always relied on Erwin. Or rather, his orders. It had been easier to let him make all the decisions and just go with it. The objective was always completed, so the cost had always been brushed aside.

Except following orders like that had only worked for singular, short term goals. When it came to the end goal, it had only led to their destruction.

Levi was scared that if he followed Erwin half blind like before, history would only repeat itself. But what if he made it worse? Erwin had always been more visionary. The brains of the operation. Levi was used to being the brawns that just did as told.

He kicked a pebble, sighing. Taking a deep breathe he closed his eyes--only for someone to bump into his chest and fall to the ground.

Levi didn't so much as step back, hardly phased. He frowned at the person rubbing their head as they half lay on the floor.

It was a woman, with startling, long red hair. A basket lay next to her, full of flowers. Some had fallen out of the basket.

'Tch. Watch where you're going.'

The woman looked up at him, vivid pretty green eyes blinked up at him in confusion. Levi raised an eyebrow, and then realisation dawned upon her. She immediately scampered upto her feet

'I'm so, so sorry--I was - I mean- I didn't mean to bump into you Captain. It was an honest mistake.'

'Whatever.'

He rolled is eyes and gestured to the flowers on the ground.

'Well? Clean up this mess'

'Oh yes, of course.'

She began hurriedly picking up the flowers, before nervously apologising to him once more and running off. Just as he was about to walk back to his office, he noticed a flower she hadn't picked up.

Holding it in his hand, he couldn't help feeling a sense of peace. It was a white poppy. Clutching it tightly, he began to climb the stairs to his office, suddenly feeling more sure of himself then ever.

Hange had told him, in one of her I- learned-something-new-so-your-eardrums-have-to-suffer sessions, about what a poppy symbolised. Peace. The end and remembrance of a war. It had been one of the last happy conversations he had with her, right before Eren had unleashed hell on them.

Peace was all Levi had ever wanted--not just for himself, but for everyone living in the walls. And he would try his damned hardest to achieve that.

Yet again, he would believe in his own decisions. This time, he would trust himself even more. Feeding Erwin little information that made sense would be easy enough, the man was intelligent enough to draw conclusions that would benefit them.

And, there were somethings he would prefer that still happened. To keep things predictable for him. Like the 57th Expedition. He would capture Annie this time around and not let the Stohess Battle occur. The wall titans and humanity existing outside the walls could be proven when Historia was made queen and they reached the basement-

Wait, shit.

Historia was still part of the Survey Corps.

____________________________________

Levi stared blankly at the flower on his desk, debating whether if breaking the queen's legs before she was even queen would be considered treason. Because there was no way in hell he was letting her near any danger.

Historia was a game changer. A hope for the war. Levi knew some people would still die, but Historia was one who couldn't. Eren could be replaced, Erwin could be replaced, Levi himself could be replaced, but not Historia. He would have to get her out of the fold safely-

*knock knock*

'Come in' Levi answered without a second thought. Petra entered holding a tray full of biscuits and a steaming cup of tea.

'Captain, here's your morning tea. The staff had some biscuits today too.'

'Ah. Thank you. Just put it here.'

Petra settled the tea cup and plate on his desk, catching sight of the poppy.

'That's a pretty flower captain. Where did you pick it from?'

'I didn't. I got it from some girl.'

If Levi hadn't been busy checking the temperature of his tea, he would have noticed the slightly crushed expression on his comrades face. By the time he looked at her again, the girl was saluting him.

'Petra--go tell the others we'll be doing transformation experiments with Eren today. Everyone has an hour to get ready. If anyone's late, they'll have a special sparring session with me.'

'Yes Sir!'

Watching her leave, he resolved himself. He was doing what he could for them. He would try to get them closer to peace. He found himself looking at the white poppy again, the barest hints of a smile on his face.

He might just have to thank that girl for bumping into him.

.. And look into the law books regarding what injuries to historia wouldn't count as treason. There had to be at least one right?

__________________________________

A/N: hope y'all liked this! Sorry I've been MIA. My dad got pnemoneia and ended up admit in the hospital. Thankfully we caught it in time, so he's recovered well now. But it's been a crazy couple of days.

Soo, I debated Levi being absolutely honest with Erwin and telling him the entire truth but I realized it wouldn't work. The story is going to be set in more changing the timeline from chapter 4 I think, when the expedition starts. I'm actually writing this as I go sooo, *laughs nervously. Also poor historia. Will Levi actually break her legs? Till next time!

(also I'm working on those asks now, so they'll come soon)

#aot #snk #levi ackerman #attack on titan #levi aot #Time travel #Levixhappiness #Isayama won't make them happy so I will #Angsty #Let's change shit #Manga spoilers

[sloanesmortuary]

Predecessor: Prologue

Hi!! This is my first ever fic!! I apologize in advance if there's any mistakes from grammar (I mostly learn English from the internet pls forgive) to how innacurate I could've written the characters compared to the canon (excluding OCs)

Connor/RK700!M!Reader (I think? Idk that's what I'm going for)

1711 words

"Meet RK800. The more advanced model. Stronger, faster, and more resilient."

Your eyes went wide. You knew you're just a prototype, you knew this ought to happen, but you felt as if your heart just dropped. You opened your mouth to say something. Amanda cut you just before you get the chance to. She's not allowing you to talk. "You accomplished your mission and I am pleased with your work. Because of this, now we know that your programs works well and we are ready to take the next step with RK800." Amanda glanced at your successor, "Hi, my name is Connor. I will be replacing you in the DPD," the RK800 introduced himself.

"You will be deactivated by tommorow," said Amanda.

"...deactivated..."

"No... Why can't I just stay? I can still help Detective Reynolds!" You protested to no avail, obviously. Amanda's usual stoic expression turned into a frown. "I am not here to answer your question." You've never felt this troubled in your short life. "Please, I beg you! I-I'm scared." Your LED turned to yellow, flashing back and forth to red. Connor's LED also turned to yellow, but it quickly changed to blue. "You're giving a reason why you must be replaced. Aside from the fact that Connor is more advanced than you."

"Hey, hey, [y/n] the hell? You okay?" your partner had her hand on your shoulder, she was looking at you with a worried look on her face. You were crying and you didn't realize it. "They're going to replace me, Detective Reynolds." She looks rather surprised from what you just said. You've grown to her and so had she in the past months. It's against your programming, but you don't want to lose her friendship. "What? Does that mean you'll get deactivated? Where would you go after that? Stored away at some warehouse? Can you do anything about that? Fuck- that's not right," she muttered the last bit of what she just said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes. I will get deactivated and be stored away for further study, and I'm afraid that there's nothing I can do to prevent it. I'll be sent back to CyberLife tommorow." Leila walked back to her desk- that's infront of yours- and sighed, "What if... You don't go? I know someone who can do magic." Your LED immediately turned yellow. "What?"

---

"Are you sure about this? You'll lose your job!" She didn't respond to you and kept on driving on her old manual car. You were scared for her. Anything you see and hear are recorded and will be sent to CyberLife, though you're not sure whether they will use the footage to do anything later. She pulled over infront of an apartment building. She rushed you in and to the elevator and pressed on the button for the 4th floor. "You do know that removing trackers on androids is illegal, right?" She waved you off, "Do you wanna live or nah?" You blinked several times then nodded. "Well, then shut it."

Leila set you free. You're a true deviant. They said trackers stopped working on deviants, but who knows what sort of enhancements they put in yours?

You couldn't bear with the fact that you are actually feeling emotions. You've always thought of it as an error in one's system. Knowing that now you experience emotions like humans does made you go through everything you've learned.

---

Days passed after your disappearance (thanks to Detective Leila Reynolds who risked her job for you.) You lived in an abandoned house Leila found. You even got a friend there, his name's Ralph. A jolly kind, though a little menacing. Ralph was on edge when they trespassed the old outgrown building. He pointed his knife to your partner, but she didn't point her gun at him. She kept her hand ready for it, though. "Easy... I just wanted to find a place for him to stay. We don't want to hurt you and he just need a place to lay down for a while." Ralph looked at you. You and Leila noticed the overly large scar on his face. This guy has been through a lot of shit. "Can I stay? If you don't want a company we will find another place. It's okay," you said. "Ralph is sorry. He doesn't like trespassers- especially humans- they're nasty. They'll hurt Ralph," he lowered his knife and gestured to the house's front door. "You can stay. Ralph thinks getting a friend wouldn't hurt." You smiled and thanked him. "Succulent!" He exclaimed. "Ralph is excited to get to know his new friend!"

Leila means the world to you. She's the first person to be your friend. Others (like Detective Reed) pushes you around to do pointless tasks as if you're an android designed to do domestic works. You were the most advanced android a little while back until you met Connor. Those people didn't seem to understand how advanced you are by making you do those tasks and they might seem to think that you're just a stupid piece of plastic stealing their jobs, though you get where their thoughts come from but you're only doing what you're programmed to: helping the DPD. To Leila, you're more than you ever think you are. She thought of you as a perfect being. She thought letting you become deviant would ruin the perfection in your design, but she didn't want you to have to obey every single commands you receive even if they're wrong. She interacted with you from the very start as if you're human. She's the main reason you're feeling emotions now. She made you feel alive, more than just a machine designed to follow orders no matter what.

Obviously, the office started panicking after your disappearance. CyberLife contacted the DPD about the absence of the successful RK700 model. This resulted in Fowler screaming to Leila.

"Well, how am I supposed to know where it went?!”

"It's your partner, Reynolds!"

"So what? I gotta keep it around like a poodle so I'll know wherever it went?"

"Don't give me that attitude! Now just go fuckin find that thing. Start wherever you last saw it. If you don't find anything I'll send a search party. This is so stupid, how could they lost track of their own damn fancy property. Don't forget to close the door on your way out."

Shivers went down Leila's spine. "They won't find him," she said to herself determined. "I'll make this search pointless. Ha. Cool. I'm a criminal now," she chuckled on her way back to her desk. She passed by Gavin on the way, he shot her a glare and stopped her. She knew he's suspicious of her. He talked about how she's always nice to you and to him, that's a solid motive for her to hide you when you're going to be replaced. She just shrugged it off and left Gavin be.

---

Your place was eventually replaced by the RK800. He's partnered with Lt. Anderson. He was paired with him to see if his skills could be compared to someone more advanced than Leila. The upgrades on RK800 weren't perfect because they couldn't bring you in in time to do a further study. "Another one of those damn things and this one is partnered with ME? Why can't it just be Reynolds again? She's more of an android person!" Fowler sighed, "This one is more advanced and it should be partnered with someone with more experience. Which happens to be you, Hank." Hank looked at Connor and squinted. "At least it look different. Still doesn't change the fact that I can't stand these things, Jeff!" They kept on shouting to each other for a good minute until the Lieutenant's defeat.

Their first case together went down smoothly. Hank is glad about that. "It ain't useless. That's good. It couldn't stop licking stuff from the ground though. I probably need to bring a puke bag around whenever I gotta be around it," Hank said in his head, making a mental note. Now, they're investigating an AX400 who attacked its owner and ran away. It's also said that the RK700, you might be around the place where the AX400 was last seen.

"Mother, father, uncle, and little girl!" Ralph jumped around excitedly. You could see that Alice and Kara are extremely uncomfortable, but Kara's even more uncomfortable. You knew she also saw the police coming. Good thing that she managed to talk to Ralph that they need to hide.

Connor went inside the house. You hid with Kara and Alice under the stairs. You held on to an old, yet sturdy baseball bat you found upstairs, ready to defend them. Connor questioned Ralph and he won't budge. He continued to search the house from the living room to the kitchen but he didn't go upstairs. He knew the three of you were hiding there. He approached your hiding spot and- CLANK! You hit him in the face as Ralph held him back while Kara and Alice ran. Your successor fell on his knees from the hit. Thirium ran down from his nose and mouth, that's how strong your hit was. "Connor, what the hell are you doing there?!" You kneeled down to face him and he looked up to meet your eyes. "Don't say a word about us or I'll take out your pump regulator," you threatened him. Your hand was on the spot just below his chest, ready to take out his regulator. "I don't care if you take it out. I'm not alive." You stared at him as if he's some sort of an anomaly. Having emotions really does change you. "I'm not alive." That creeps the living hell out of you. "They're here!" He shouted. "Ralph, let's go!" The both of you sprinted to the back door as you hear people barging into the house. Shots were fired. You caught some bullets but it didn't hit any major biocomponents, though you could die from the lack of thirium. You heard Connor shout, "we need the RK700 alive!" before you feel a weight over you. An officer tackled and handcuffed you before you could do anything due to the ever decreasing thirium flowing in your systems.

#dbh #connor dbh #kara dbh #ralph dbh #hank anderson #gavin reed #oc #original character #dbh connor #dbh kara #dbh ralph #dbh alice #alice dbh #wr600 #rk800 #ax400 #rk700 #reader insert #connor x reader #connor/reader #connor dbh x reader #connor dbh/reader #dbh connor x reader #dbh connor/reader #detroit: become human #detroit become human #fan fiction #fanfic #quantic dream #connor x male reader

[theworldsoul]

I've been very upset lately. The pressure is insane.

And it's not like I don't know math or understand the material, I actually know all the concepts and everything. The only issue is I make little mistakes, the tiniest little mistakes, I forgot about the exponent, I wrote it as negative instead of positive, I forgot the units, I have the wrong amount of sigdigs, I added instead of multiplying... simple things, small things.

This is because my brain doesn't function well with so many rules. It simply doesn't compute long lists of strict rules sorry babe. No joke, all my mistakes arent cos I dont know what I'm doing, they're because I forgot soemthing small.

Fuck this shit man I'm not meant to be doing this... like, the amount of stress this is causing me... and I just know that tommorow after I get a shit mark my parents will be angry... I was given one days notice about the exam??? I study for hours every day??? Idk what else you want me to do like I'm already ruining my mental health for this.

I've told them before that it felt like I was overworking myself and they said that's just somehting I have to get used to and that's honestly so fucking upsetting. Like I rly said "yeah this class is fucking me up" and they went "lol idc get used to it, it will be like this for the rest of your life. Also work harder ur marks suck."

Like bro??? I have cried more in the past day than I've ever cried in ONE DAY... probably like 7 times. That's not normal, I dont think. Either I have some sort of illness or this is too much. I think maybe I have soemthing wrong with ME. Everyone else seems to handle it fine, no one else cries like I do. No one else is constantly doubting their intelligence.

Maybe it's a memory issue??? Like, one day of class I legit raised my hand and solved a question without ever having seen that sort of question before just with Logic, but yesterday I panicked because I couldn't remember how to solve it, in fact I didn't remember it at all until I asked the teacher and she told me that I should know since I was the first to have a correct answer... its almost like my brain doesn't remember math. Maybe that's because it's not built to do math??? Not like that matters... if I want a house in the future I need to finish math with a good grade.

This is SHIT. I work so hard and still I'm unable to live up to the expectations... I'm given at least 30 questions to complete for homework (I get like 4ish hours to do them since I get home at 3, go to bed at 9 and eat supper around 5) and I only end up completing like 6 before i have to go to sleep.... its painful and it's sad and I DON'T BELONG HERE!!!!! I DON'T BELONG IN A FUCKING MATH CLASS, MUCH LESS A GRADE 11 LEVEL IB MATH PROGRAM THAT WAS ORIGINALLY A YEAR LONG COURSE CONDESNED TO FIT INTO THE SPAN OF ONE/TWO MONTHS!!!!

But I can't just... do something easier. I can't. It's not an option if I want a house when I'm older. It's not an option if I want my parents to not hate me. It's not an option if I want to make the teacher who called me "hardworking" and pulled the strings to get me here proud.

I feel guilty for thinking that my hard work and dedication and whatever could ever match the natural wit of the kids who sit next to me. I feel inferior to them as I struggle with a problem that they complete instantly. I feel like I'm worthless. And maybe I am. The MOST IMPORTANT AND MOST RESPECTED SUBJECT is the one I am the worst at. And the ones my parents and society in general dismiss as being useless or stupid are the ones I'm good at and I enjoy. If the things I CAN do aren't good enough, what good am I as a person? What do I serve to society as a person? ...NOTHING.

The pain I feel over this is literally tortuous, fuck, I can't handle it, it physically hurts and it feels like my body is too weak to handle all the pain. I'm not even fucking joking, this makes me miserable. It ALWAYS has. I was so stupid to think I could EVER be good enough. I was so stupid to think if I studied for hours on end I would magically become better at math. It doesn't work that way....

And I feel guilty for wanting to be loved an valued, because how can I expect that when I can't do anything to be deserving of that? I feel guilty for the fear of my parents reactions upon seeing whatever grade I get tommorow, because really, I deserve whatever punishment comes to me. Because really, I'm not worth even having a bed to sleep in if I can't do basic fucking math. I'm so stupid. I'm SO FUCKING STUPID.

I don't know if I'll make it. If I'll pass my classes and make it. If ill get grades good enough to get a job that will pay me Enough.

This is so scary... I hate how my future hinges on this... I'm 15 and whether I live in a house or on the streets is dependent on how good I am at math.

Fuck this it's so stressful I'm panicking and I honestly wish I wasnt even human at all... I wish I could be a bird or a dog or cat or whatever, an animal that is loved, an animal that is happy and free of this crushing. Pressure. An animal that just... no thoughts head empty only animal sounds. Or maybe a baby. It would be nice to be a baby or a small child who only has to know how to write their name and maybe count to ten. Oblivious and happy and cared about. Or maybe it would be best to just be nothing at all. Freed from the prison I've been condemned to live in. Nothing at all. I wish I could sleep and never wake up.

I want to be happy... fuck. I guess I am overdoing it. Something's wrong with me lately. Normal people don't have so many breakdowns in such short spans of time over such stupid bullshit. I think that maybe I've been treated too softly in the past and now that I actually have to work its come as a shock to me.

But that makes no sense. I'm able to work and I do work, a lot, it just isn't helping and my brain won't take it in properly.

When I wake up tommorow my eyes will be swollen from crying so much.

[kodapagodasoda]

My “Who Killed Markiplier?” thesis.

Well, it’s been a while since “Who Killed Markiplier?” has been uploaded. I’m bored and need time to kill so I’m gonna write about my own theories - especially theories about the end.

So to introduce my theory about the entire thing, there are a few key ideas to keep in mind.

First of all are BODIES and SOULS. In this “universe” there are these two seperate things. Your body is the shell you live in to move and walk around in, and has a unique apperance. Your soul is the spirit that lives inside the body, and defines your personality. It’s possible that a body can exist but a soul cannot, and a soul can exist but its body cannot.

Secondly is the act of MURDER and the act of REMOVAL. If something is murdered, then the soul no longer persists in a body. Instead, it is a free-roaming spirit. But if the soul is removed, then it no longer persists. It just… vanishes. Same with a body - it no longer exists in this world.

With that in mind, it leads me to the beginning of the story where everyone comes to Markiplier’s home.

I think Mark might’ve had some of Dark’s soul inside of him, and had called everyone so he could switch souls with somebody and rid himself of Dark forever - and he picks Damien. He throws the party to get everyone drunk - it’s told that he doesn’t get drunk - and, likely just as the self-insert character goes to bed the switch happens. Using Dark’s powers, he switched souls with Damien - so Mark ended up in his body, and Damien ended up in Mark’s - and killed Damien brutally. He gets stabbed and drowned etc. loads, most likely because Mark wants to assure himself that the soul is murdered. What could survive that? A body can’t, and soul can’t persist inside it but it can in the house.

So Damien’s spirit continues to exist in the house, as does Darkiplier’s.

(It’s important to note here that Darkiplier’s soul doesn’t have a body. As Mark had said himself, he’s not human. He’s his “own entity”. This is important for later.)

So Mark is now in Damien’s body, and probably thinks all is well. He just had to persist in Damien’s form now - and he’s free from Dark. There’s a few clue that they’ve switched, from the first conversation Damien and You have the morning after the party: “Life is ours to choose, as I always say.” Seems oddly familar to the phrase Mark said before the party: “Life’s for the living!” Also, Mark does say at one point before the party: “Who knows? I might be dead tommorow.” That’s too coincidencial, obviously.

So this whole investigation goes on. Eventually, Mark’s body is REMOVED. We never find out where it’s gone… and, similarly, we never know where Damien and Celine’s body goes either. We just know it’s gone. These bodies have been removed. We try to investigate this with the Detective but he’s getting nowhere.

The only time we really start to get close to the truth is during Celine’s seance. After the seance, things start to go haywire. The only supernatural thing that occurs before the seance is the strange storm when someone says murder - and yet, stepping outside, it’s a perfectly normal day… I think it’s the angry spirit of both Damien and Dark, furious at Mark for murdering them for different reasons. Dark is angry that he’s been released from a body, and Damien is furious because of Mark’s betrayal. Everytime someone says “murder”, it’s like a reminder… but the word “killed” strikes nothing. Not sure why - maybe murder just feels like a more brutal word. “He was murdered” indicates SOMEONE killed him. “He was killed” indicates nothing - it could be anything that killed them.

So during the seance you have a vision of the groundskeeper. You see the future. I think this is communication with Darkiplier and Damien, and in hopes of being able to return into a body, somehow, he gives you clues. You meet the Groundskeeper, and he says he refuses to go into that house unless one thing happens. And it happens. Damien’s body is killed and removed, as is Mark’s soul - probably. Celine’s body goes all supernatural weird. I think that Darkiplier managed to get into Damien’s body - but since someone was already inside it, Mark’s spirit, it couldn’t work. He left it, which killed and removed the body and spirit. He then tried Celine’s and it worked for a moment - we could see Celine coming through the door all creepy and shit. But for the same reason, it couldn’t work. Celine’s body is removed and killed, and her soul leaves the body and joins Damien to linger in the house.

The Groundskeeper knows about Darkiplier. When his spirit starts fighting for some bodies, the house starts going mad. He knows that Dark has escaped Mark. The Groundskeeper says he hasn’t entered the house for fifteen years. That seems like a reasonable amount of time for a rich man like Mark to be living in. He enters because Dark has been released, which is the worst situation for him right now.

After Celine and Mark’s soul/Damien’s body are killed, things start to really crash and burn. The Groundskeeper, the Chef and the Butler decide to escape the house. They do it because they aren’t friends with Mark or the others. They’re just paid to be there. The Butler seems a bit hesitant to, and urges the rest to sympathetically, but in the end they’re only paid to be there. You, the Detective and the Colonel stay because you actually care.

Then after they’re gone, your vision goes weird and you’re led to the Detective’s room for evidence. Once again, I think this is Dark, Damien and now Celine guiding you to go. You hear strange voices as you go, with sentences from friends that were dark and disturbing - “Do you wanna talk about madness?” (Note that this sentence is also from the future, when the Detective confronts the Colonel). “A domain of evil this is… but in we must go.”

Then the Colonel gets all uppty mad with the Detective, and the Detective confronts him about all his past crimes. The mistake of a lot of cliche shows is that they assume someone is the killer because they’ve had crime history. But it’s not him.

Then the Detective is killed and so are we, and we end up shot dead after a fall - and we see Celine and Damien’s souls.

But first we see Mark’s body, and he says, “It’s not fair, is it?”. I want to point out here that this is not Mark’s soul - it’s his BODY. There’s no ghostly light coming from it, and he’s lying down his dead and beaten corpse. His body has been removed into the afterlife.

Next we see Cline and Damien’s spirit.

This part is important and there’s a lot of key points from here on out.

Damien is angry because “that son of a bitch is walking out there in my body”. They’re talking about Mark… Mark has possession of Damien’s body still. So, perhaps, Mark did survive and so did Damien’s body. Perhaps he, too, left the house and escaped, thinking he survived.

The colours are strange here… Damien is angry and bent on revenge, making him represent anger. Celine calms is down, and is gentle about the situation. I think she represents calm and sadness. But it’s strange that Damien’s colours are blue and Celine is red, which are opposite to their personalities here… maybe it’s an ironic thing?

But they have this whole conversation with You saying your body is “still out there” and to “let us in”. What happened is that Celine and Damien decided to join forces and embrace Darkiplier, which have now manifested inside them since the seance, and use your now soulless but not removed corpse.

You wake up, and you’re still You for just a moment. It just looks like you’ve come back to life. The Colonel is estatic and runs around the house thinking it’s a prank. I’ll get to the Colonel in a bit. You head to the mirror and pick up the cane the Colonel left. Your hand is oddly feminne… then it isn’t. It turns into a big, male hand. You look up into the mirror and see you are no longer you. You look like Damien and the colours change. Darkiplier is alive.

So Your soul is now gone, but your body isn’t. However, your apperance changes to look like Damien. He and Celine have fused together to create the two main sides of Darkiplier - Damien represents his anger, and Celine represents his calmness. But it’s not just them two there… the original Darkiplier is there during their chat.

Since Darkiplier doesn’t actually have a solid body, he doesn’t actually have an apperance. But he’s still there. When Celine and Damien talk to you, their voices echo but particuarly some of the darker phrases. “The fuck is going on?” “Let us in.” “Trust me.” “Dangerous.” “You’re dead”. He’’s there and he’s still a part of the spirit - he simply represents evil.

When you change into Darkiplier, the colours come out. The blue, representing Damien; the red, showing Celine; the grey, showing your dead soul and your shell of a body; and the black of Dark. Dark cracks his neck because it’s broken from the fall.

The expression Darkiplier makes haunts me. I love it so much, because the expressions and emotions are so quick yet so smooth. When he picks up the cane, it’s unreadable - the essence of your soul dying away. Eventually it transitions into a bit of anger, especially as his neck cracks; but as he looks up at the mirror, it settles - first to emptiness, then to sadness, then to a mixture of both sadness and anger which is the representation of Damien and Celine’s emotions put together - anguish. Then, at last, his face contorts to rage and he storms off. I think this represents that Damien is the driving force of Darkiplier, why he continues to exist and persue whatever goal he’s going for.

Now I move onto the Colonel. By now, we all know that just as Damien is pretty much Darkiplier, the Colonel is Wilford Warfstache. The similarities are uncanny - the mustache, the voice, the costume (especially the breeches!). Here, we see the beginnings of Warfstaches birth. When he shoots you, he says: “It was an accident - I swear!” This was all to familar to another video where he shoots a cop and says the exact. same. thing. But then you get back up… he can’t believe it. You’re not dead! Of course you’re not dead - it’s a massive prank! He runs around the house looking for his friends… but they never come out. They’re dead too.

So from there on, he views death differently. He shoots people because he thinks they’ll come back to life. The whole things a joke and he’s laughing instead of crying. He’s telling himself killing isn’t bad and it’s driving him insane, which soon creates the eccentricness of Warfstache: his mustache goes pink (think like Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul who’s hair goes white after his brutal torture), his costume goes a bit stranger and his strange slurred voice is even more pronounced.

That’s the difference between Warfstache l and Darkiplier. The whole experience changed them in opposite ways: Dark turned cold and angry and into this demonic, evil being; Warfstache is loud and crazy and laughing along.

So, we come to the big question - who killed Markiplier? Well, we know the fate of his body - killed and removed. His body lies in the afterlife, resting with your dead soul. But what about Mark’s soul? I thought it might have been destroyed during Celine’s ritual when it went wrong, but if it did then would it not have been reuinited with it’s body in the afterlife? Perhaps it survived. Maybe it still lingers in the house… or has inhabited another body…

Well, that’s all my thoughts. It took me a while to write this. Thanks for anyone who read it all, even if you just breezed through!

#wkm #who killed markiplier #who killed markiplier? #markiplier #took me like two days to write ugh #i rambled a lot too

[fairycosmos]

What do you do when you're the person in the wrong, made a bad decision that burned a bride with someone who was genuine and didn't deserve it. You know it won't be the same even if one day you spoke with them again. And you're past the "forgive yourself" and "we all make mistakes" and "there's always tommorow"stage. Of course I know these things, learnt from my mistakes and I try to do my best but at the end of the day you can't change what you did

well, you said it. you can’t change what you did. no matter how you feel about it now, whether you agonize over it or whether you forget about it entirely, it doesn’t change the fact that you did it. it’s one of the hardest lessons i’ve ever learned, too. so i mean this in the most genuine and sincere way - the only thing you can physically do now is to learn from it, which you have. that’s quite literally the only option. being pissed off at yourself for the rest of your life isn’t going to give you a time machine so you can go back and undo it, you know? it’s just going to increase the amount of bitterness inside you, and the amount of negativity that you’re putting out into the world. that’s not to say you shouldn’t be regretful of course, but the fact that you’ve accepted the blame and that you’re mature enough to know that you were the one in the wrong is enough. if you’ve apologized and you’re doing what you can to prevent it happening again, then you’re doing okay. this is the sort of thing that is going to happen over and over again in your adult life - you’re going to do something, then look back and hate the person that you were in that moment/phase. but that’s honestly the only way to grow. if you never make mistakes, you never learn. it sounds like the most cliche thing in the entire world, but that’s what it comes down to. obviously you know the details of the situation better than i do, but you never know - in time, you may be able to get some sort of closure, or find a way to reconnect with this person. and maybe it won’t be the same as it was, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing (tho ofc it’s natural to feel nostalgic and to miss the past a little.) i really feel like this is something that is going to take a lot of time for you to work through and process in a healthy way, and that’s okay. just take it at your own pace, and try to look at things from an outsiders perspective so you don’t feel compelled to hate yourself as much. you can hate the thing you did, but you don’t need to hate yourself, even if your mind is telling you otherwise. this one instance doesn’t define who you are, okay? i seriously wish there was something more i could do for you, because words are pretty useless when you’re feeling so regretful and depressed, but you really aren’t alone and there isn’t a single person in the world that hasn’t fucked up at one point or anther. as annoying as all those ‘we all make mistakes’ phrases are, they’re true in a deeply fundamental and important way. and it might take a while before you fully come to terms with what happened, but you will move past it eventually. i’m really sorry that i couldn’t offer you more than advice, because i know what it’s like to feel this way. regardless, i’m seriously always here if you need a friend or someone to talk to. i hope you feel better soon.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

*me remembering that I promised a scenario of a drunk Chisaki* oH FUC-!

One or three bottles of sake

You were simply messing around in your phone, snickering at seing other people do shit on the internet before you heard a knock... which is weird since you were in the living room... not the bedroom.

"Excuse me? (Y/n)-sama?" The man asked hushed while you giggled at his exaggerate manners.

"Tengai I told you already about the formalities!" You smiled and put your phone down to look at the man "Just call me by my name, really is okay!"

"I apologize for this." The huffed a smile while scratching the back of his neck before returning to a serious expression "Pardon about bothering you in such a hour at the night... but could you accompany me please?"

You nodded and followed the calm man through the halls.

"Something wrong?" Tengai sigjed loudly before scracthing the back of his head again.

"Sadly. You see, the eight precepts, Chrono and Mimic were reunited on a room and that thug Rappa just brought along with Deidoro some alcohol drinks... To celebrate or just drink the night off or something similiar."

You snickered a bit, gulping down immediately after Tengai arched his eyebrow at you before returning to his explanation.

"Anyway. I refused since I'm not much a fan of alcohol in general. But the rest was the opposite... Master Overhaul got them on the act and went to stop that nonsense before Rappa just made one mistake..."

You started to grow worried before Tengai opened one door to reveal a bunch of drunk mens while you saw your boyfriend.... chugging and hitting the cup on teh cofee table as Chrono and Mimic shouted 'TAKE THAT' at a screaming Rappa.

You blinked once before looking at Tengai with wide eyes while pointing in disbelief at the scene in front of you.

"Yes... Rappa spoke something about master 'being a wimp on drinks or something, how would you be dissapointed at seing that your man didn't take one drink and that what type of yakusa boss he was if he didn't even could drink a cup of saque."

You returned your look at Chisaki who had the same stoic face as usual but the difference it was that his golden eyes were puffy and his uncovered cheeks were slightly pink.

"H-How much..?" You asked, giggling about at the way Chisaki miserably tried to slap Chrono's hand away form his back.

"When I left it was already gone one bottle... now?" He looked at the pile of empty bottles "I am afraid to know."

Suddenly Mimic snickered and while looking at you both extending his arms.

"Look at who decided to fucking join us! tEnGAI BiTcH GEt YoUR AsS DoWN AnD GeT DrUnK As WeLL!"

"I'll pass..." Tengai growled before glaring at Rappa for shouting that he was being a wimp.

"FinE ParTy BooMEr! (Y/N)! Go SiT YoUR AsS doWn thEn By OvErHaUL's SiDE anD FuCkInG DrInk!"

At the mention of your name the eyes of your lover widen just a bit before he drubkly looked up at his front... you were at his side...

"(Y/n)..? Wh..where the fuck is her?" He muttered while Deidoro left out a drunk laugh as he falled into his back at the ground.

"THE BOSS IS REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!"

"Tell the time then fucker." Setsuno snickered before juggling his cup.

"SHUt up midget!" Deidoro lifted up and pointed at a clock in the wall and screamed at it "THE BOSS IS REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!"

Hoyo spitted om his drink by his laughter while Chrono stood, a bit trembling, on his feet and cane to you.

"We fucked up.. sorry." He half smirked before almost dropping before you helped him out.

"For crying out loud how many drinks did you all had?!" You whispered shouted while Chrono showed one finger while muttering a 'bottle'.

And... everyone wasn't much different... excluding Chisaki who somehow was still searching for you and surprisingly didn't found it.

"Mimic you fucking liar, my angel isn't here." He growled before grunting when he just bumped his forehead on the table.

"Am FuCKInG NoT! THe ChiCk Is RighT TheRe!" Mimic pointed angrily at you while you could only deadpan.

"Alright." You started, accidentaly letting Kurono fall.. he at least made a thumbs up to tell you he was alright when you yelped "Everyone. Out. Night time for all of you."

You were so grateful that you had the respect of those man, or else it would probably take AGES for them to listened to you...

You stopped Nemoto though, being one of the last to leave, and pointed at Chisaki... lost look as he stared at his front.

"How many did he had Nemoto?"

"About (hic) three bottles. Rappa challenged him so..(hic) you knwo how master is."

You sigjjed and thanked the man, slowly going into his side to bring a hand to touch his shoulder before he slapped it away.

"Don't touch me filth... only one person can do that and is not fucking you so out." He mumbled, still not looking at you as he tried to get up... tried.

"Uh? Who?"

"Not your fucking business but is my (Y/n)." He growled before hiccupping "The sweetest and the most beautiful thing on this sick world and my angel is the fucking bes-" he tripped on his own foot and dropped to his knees with a hiss.

You blushed at his words... normally drunk people werent on their right mind but they never spoke lies... especially your Chisaki. You knew how he was reserved but those sweet words he almost never let out.

"I am all that?" He looked up to send you a glare before widening his eyes at sieng your blushing and smiling figurine.

"Angel..." he smiled a bit, surprisingly standing up and accepting your help "Since when you're here?"

"Not too long. Why?"

"I was going to kill some filth shit in this room.. but is all gone because you're here.." he sluttered before dropping his head on teh crook of your neck "My angel is the best..." he cooed before nuzzling his face into your neck.

Oh god what was happening?! Was this what too much of alcohol did to your boyfriend?!

He grunted a bit before mumbling in your skin.

"You're not hugging me back (Y/n).. did I do something?" You went to look at him befor eyou noice he was POUTING.

CHISAKI KAI. OVERHAUL. LEADER OF THE YAKUSA. IS POUTING. AND IT WAS ADORABLE.

"No no!" You immediate answered, waving your hands a bit "I-Is just tha-"

He grabbed your hand weekly and kissed your palm before nuzzling his face on it.

Dear lord what was happening with him?!

"My angel..." he cooed in your hand before hugging you again "I missed you..." he said a bit more sleepy while your heart was almost combusting at this overwhelming event.

"U-uh.. K-Kai how about some water then we can go to bed?"

He nodded in your neck, grunting in disaproval at losing his warmth and just blindly following you through the house... at least he had his hand on yours.

Pops was just getting to his room before he spotted you two.

"Good night you two." He smiled at your gretting but frowned at sieng his successor "Chisaki my boy, are you alright? You look a bit.. flustered?"

Chisaaki let out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around your waist and rubbing his cheek on yours, you with wide eyes and face burning form embarrassment.

"Nothing. Just my (Y/n) giving me her warmth... my angel is so warm..." he buries his nose, missing the wide eyes of his father figurine and his lover looking at him in shock "I just love it since I'm always so cold and is also soft..." he sighed in bliss at finding some comfortable position and just remained like that.

You gagged before looking at Pops, same wide eyes as you had on that moment while looking back at you.

He pointed a finger to your boyfriend and you sighed in defeat.

"Saque. 3 bottles." The elder arched a eyebrow before returning to see Chisaki nuzzling even more his nose on your neck and burring right in your ear.

"Well. What alcohol does with a man.." he smirked a bit at seing his adopted son attempting to growl at seing that your attention wasn't on him "Think you can take care of my boy for the night (Y/n)?"

"I'll try my best." You giggled, replying the good night Pops gave to you and smilling like a dork when Chisaki said something with the word 'father' on it.

"Alright my devil. Let's get you to bed." He grunted before tightening his hold on you.

"I'm not a infant (Y/n)..." he muttered but complied anyway while following you to his room.

He took the seat down with a yawn and hic up before he smirked dreamily when you helped him on taking off his shirt.

"Naughty little angel we have..."

"Ahaha.. no mister. You're way too drunk." You laughes and mockingly pointed at finger at his nose.

Although you yelped a bit at the nibble he manage to do in your finger.

"Kai!" He smirked devilish back at the call of his name before you giggled and rolled your eyes, going to the bathroom for wash your face before you felt a tug in you clothing.

"Wh.. where are you going?" You went to answer but the way his voice sounded so.. broken and fearful made you worry "Don't.. don't leave me alone angel.. please?"

"I was only going to wash my face to go to bed Kai..." you stopped in your tracks to carress his face with your thumbs "How could I leave you for real anyway?"

"You should." He hiccuped, eyes darkening a bit "Because I'm fucked up."

"No you're not!"

"I am.. like.. you-you're just the pool of sweetest and brightness" he pointed at you with his pam before plopping down "Then we have this demon here, the total opposite of you... but I am selfish.." he muttered the last part before burring in your stomach.

"I want you with me... only with me..." he juzzled in hour tummy before looking up at you. "Promise..."

"Promise what my devil?"

"Promise that you wont leave me in the dirty like some people did already.."

You made a hurt face before carresing his looks, giggling at the vibrations that the pleased sounds he made were making shivers crawl down your spine.

He suddenly groaned, burrowing his face even more on you while you poked him and ask what happened.

"Fuck that piece of shit Rappa now tommorow I'm going to have a headache... fuuuucck i wanna kill him.."

You giggle, hoping that tommorow his hangover wasn't going to be that painful...

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #my writing #zuffer writings

[xgalaxyplierx-blog]

Thank you, Mark

It’s 8.43 AM my time when I start writing this. I came back home a little bit before Mark posted his vlog, had God damn night shift at work. I will probably start rambling just like Hero sees own words, but hell with it. I need to say it. I need to get this to Mark somehow. Maybe by any chance he will see it one day and understand.

Mark, I’m 21 year old woman lost in her life. I currently work in factory - dropped out of University and I can’t find “my thing” in life. My life keeps going downwards. People at work hate me, because I’m not like them. I hate them for judging me. I don’t talk with my family at all. I feel like my mother hates who I became in life and I’m so ashamed of myself and who I became in life, I can’t force myself to talk to her, because I know that in every of her words I can hear how disappioted she is. Hell, I’m disappointed myself.  I’m 21 years old woman, who struggles with depression for about 9 years now - it’s how find a date in my life when it all started. And it started by me being bullied. Then I lost all of my confidence, I gave up on passion I had, which was dancing, I lost my courage to learn and... to be. I didn’t see any sense in any of my actions or decisions in life. Because why would I if I started to believe nothing in my life can change anything? I used to see myself as nothing. Just a little shitty something, that shouldn’t be on this planet. I attemted suicide. Many times. So many times I lost counting through those years. I tried swallowing bunch of strong pills, jump of the bridge, cut my veins, drown myself and many more, I even wanted to do the same thing my older brother did years ago - I wanted to hang myself. But none of those attempts worked out. I was sure, that God is making fun of me, that he’s punushing me for being such a failure, cause he knows that death is what will make me free. I can say that I didn’t actually live - I just existed with no emotions other than pain, all I knew was a fake smile and saying “I’m great”, I became master in hiding my emotions. 

It stated changing with two moments in my life. One was when I met my best friend Anna almost two tears ago. She always gives me that kick I need when I’m loosing hope and she believes in me the way I don’t believe in myself. She loves me as her sister the way I can’t love myself and I will always be grateful for her, because she doesn’t undestrand how many times she stoped me when I was on the edge. I remember countless hours of us talking on the phone when I was crying to her how I don’t want to live anymore. She kept talking to me about hopes and dreams and how she’ll do everything she can to make my dreams come true. How her dreams have me in them, so I have to live, because without me dreams won’t be dreams anymore. She still keeps spaming you, Sean and Felix whereever she can, because I lost hope of you ever noticing me, but she believes it will happen, so she does what she can to make it come true. She’s the cruches I need to walk, because my legs are broken and I can’t go through life by myself. But crutches by themself can’t do much if my legs aren’t healing. And they won’t if not treated properly. That’s when my second reason to live comes on the scene. My gypsum for broken legs and painkillers for all the pain it takes me through to heal - You.

Mark, if I understood correctly, you don’t believe that you could help so much to go through depression and stop attempting suicide. So here I go - as an example for you to see and understand how we see you. And probably thousands of us, Markiplites, that you helped go through this shit called life.

First of all, you give me the most important things to heal those damn legs - hope for better tommorow and will to fight. How is that? We all know that you went through so much shit that many of us wouldn’t handle this. Your problems with Mom because of your choices,  Dad’s passing away, past relationships, dropping out of college and many more, clearly plenty more that we know of and we can imagine. But look where are you now - successfull man with a genuine smile on his face, with millions of people looking up to him, making people’s day, cheering them up. Making your dreams come true. Being so much better. Being someone we want to be one day - a happy person. And seeing your journey from someone in place similar to our now to such a wonderful person you are now, it sets amazing example. You’re showing that we can. That this IS possible to win this fight. Showing that those demons inside we’re struggling with are NOT better than us. They aren’t so strong as we might think - all it takes to kill them is will to fight and hope. When I have those bad moments, I look at you and I tell myself “fuck, I can do it. I know I can. He knows I can” I wipe away my tears, tell myself to stop “being lil bitch” and get up from my knees. You keep complementing your fans and how amazing we are, it makes me feel like a princess. Which means I can’t look at the ground and give up - how can I let it happen if my crown can fall down? You gave me this crown. Crown of confidence, will to fight and hope. I can't loose it, it’s the best gift I ever received and probably the best I will ever had. When I feel bad with my looks, I literally hear you in my head saying how beautiful we are and that every feature in our body is beautiful, because they make us be us. And I started to believe it. You’re the one that made me believe there aren’t flaws in our bodies - cause all of our features are beautiful, so how can something beautiful be a flaw? You’re the one that cheers us up, you’re the one that puts smile on our faces when we’re crying and you’re the one giving us strenght to fight. You keep telling how you believe in us, that you are here for us, WITH us - and we believe you. You’re so genuine and honest with who you are, that I personally find it impossible to not believe you. Everytime it’s bad for me - I literally hear your voice in my head saying that’s it’s gonna be ok and I can reach the stars. I imagine you being beside me, hugging me and making me smile, whispering in my ear that’s it’s ok to cry and let it out, because everyone do it, but I have to stop, because I have to keep going. I imagine you holding my hand and smiling at me reassuringly, making me get up and keep going to make you proud. Cause I really want to make you proud of me as much as I am proud of you, proud of amazing hero you became. I look up to you to become person you are now and I’m fighting with myself, because this is the hardest battle I can have and thanks to you I believe I can do it. 

I really understand how you feel. How hard it is for you to figure things out right now. I’m dealing with similar shit right now,, cause I’m in a dead point where I don’t know what to do with my life. All I know now is that I have to fight. And I’m sure you know it too.

Mark, if you need, take a few days off. Think about life and what you want to do now. Set yourself a new goal. Talk to your mom, brother. Talk to Tyler, Bob and Wade as they are with you from the beggining. If you feel like it, talk to your fans. Connect with them more. It can help more than you think. Maybe we can help you figure something out - who knows. Especially that you said you miss being closer to us. If you feel you don’t have enough time - why don’t you take offer of taking days of just to talk with fans? It will give you extra time that you would spend on recording and editing to spend it with us. Connect with them on social medias as we are everywhere, go out to the city with Markiplites, cause many of them live in your area. No recording, no phones - just talking and spending some time with friends (may I call us your friends?). 

Remember. Take. Your. Time. 

We’re here for you. We love you. We stand by your side whatever happens. And we will always be here for you. No matter what decisions you will make, we are here.  And don’t say you don’t deserve it all - you became a real life hero. Have you ever seen those edits we make? “Not all heros wear capes, mine doesn’t even wear pants”, “my hero wears headphones instead of cape”, no matter how big of a joke it might sound, it’s true. It’s real, Mark. You ARE our hero. You give us all we were looking for. 

That’s all I’m gonna say. I’m sorry it came out pretty long, I just needed to pour it out. I’m damn sure it has billion mistakes - I’m writing it for an hour now and crying almost two, so I can’t see clearly. Plus I’m from Poland, which makes english my foreign language, it’s not perfect in my case. And to top it all - I haven’t slept for 20-something hours. I know what I wrote is not perfect, but it’s honestly what is in my heart. I wanted to tell you this all in person one day, but it seems like you need those words now. Mark Edward Fischbach - we love You,

Sincerely, One of many Markiplites proud of you.

#markiplier #markiplierGAME #Markiplite #markimoo #jacksepticeye #pewdiepie #i'm proud of you #istandwithmark #i stand with markiplier #apocalypto_12 #tyler #imtyler #ethan nestor #crankgameplays #cranky crew

[gigsoupmusic]

Austin City Limits Wraps up a Successful Weekend One— 21 Best Things We Saw

It was the fest of times, it was the worst of times. Well, not exactly the worst— unless you’re counting temperatures upwards of 95 degrees and a scorching sun (thanks global warming). But, despite brutally hot temperatures (this was the hottest ACL weekend on record since 2006), the promise of great music and fun times drew sellout crowds of almost 60,000 to Zilker Park, eager to brave the sweltering sun for a glimpse of industry giants Billie Eilish, Cardi B, Childish Gambino, and others. And weekend one delivered; from Guns n’ Roses to Tame Impala, any sunburn was completely worth it as the festivities roared on and our ears cried happy tears. The temperatures were high and the sun was relentless— but that didn’t stop the festivities from roaring on as fans geared up to enjoy the last ACL of the decade. Check out the 21 best things we saw below. *All Photos by Valerie Magan unless otherwise noted. FIDLAR kicks off AMEX stage with red-hot set in morning Austin heat

Pooneh Ghana/ACL

Pooneh Ghana/ACL

Pooneh Ghana/ACL

Pooneh Ghana/ACL

Pooneh Ghana/ACL “23 years of drinking cheap beer!” FIDLAR’s Zac Carper tells the audience assembled at the AMEX stage, a seemly Hawaiian-print button-down draped loosely across his body, a black guitar decked out in a spiderweb sticker and a giant 808 (the area code for Hawaii) in hand. He wears another band’s t-shirt— Emily’s Army, now defunct— a smug nod to SWMRS, another California band whose third album he produced.

Pooneh Ghana/ACL A quiet trailblazer for L.A’s underground skate-rock scene, FIDLAR’s influence is not to be sneezed at. Fresh off a blistering sold-out show at Scoot Inn the night before (the first of ACL’s official Late Night shows), FIDLAR was just as ruffian and high-energy as ever, a ragtag number of ordered chaos— a description to which the band are no stranger. Their music is practically written to get adrenaline going— it's even in their name, an acronym of ‘Fuck It Dog, Life’s A Risk. Playing a mix of cuts from their latest album, “Almost Free”, and from their debut, “FIDLAR”, the 45-minute time-slot on the AMEX stage was the perfect span for their music— any longer and the crowd might’ve passed out. The set goes by quickly, but ends not without a pulverizing version of old favorite, “Cheap Beer”— 2 minutes and 22 seconds of pure adrenaline. Being on stage with ‘Almost Free’, a surprisingly bold, vulnerable album that sees the four recovering from addiction and tragedy and rising above expectations of them, the band finds just that— freedom. Weyes Blood's larger than life performance outshines her stage

Erika Goldring/BMI

Erika Goldring/BMI If Natalie Merring’s fourth studio album was titled any differently, I’m not so sure it would so aptly describe the feeling of falling into it. Weyes Blood, whose breathtakingly beautiful chamber-pop offerings lit up the BMI stage every bit as much as her stark white suit and starlike sunglasses, was a force to be reckoned with. Sounding at times like a pared-down Crystal Castles with Lana Del Rey as lead singer, Merring captures perfectly the ethos of finding pockets of serenity amidst unbroken chaos, even in live performance. Running through songs from this year’s aptly-titled ’Titanic Rising’, Merring takes listeners on a loop through the stages of a slow-burning catastrophe: the feeling of suspension— disaster oncoming— to finding a perverse exhilaration in watching it all fall apart. She sings “Movies” and “Andromeda” with an especially chilling grace, the sweeping orchestrals forming a beautiful corner of safety and refuge as the chaos of ACL forged on around us, making us temporarily forget about the heat as we stepped blindly into the North Atlantic Ocean, a Titanic-sized lump rising in our throats. Thom Yorke's man-bun steals the show

Thom Yorke has long earned the right to be arrogant. No one who had ended up here had just wandered in by chance. No. Every single person in this 8000-odd crowd had showed up for him. He took no time to introduce himself, but needed no introduction anyway; years of playing as Radiohead’s frontman did it for him. And, as he’s managed to spin a career fronting one of the biggest alt-rock bands into one of the most exhilarating and creative solo projects in recent memory, there’s all the more reason to feel superior. Billed on the festival lineup as ‘Thom Yorke Tommorow's Modern Boxes’, the wording made for some early confusion, some thinking this was a set focusing solely on his 2014 solo album, and others thinking he had formed a new side-project. The latter, tonight, seemed to be true. Performing with his current ensemble— who I’m very reluctant to call a Radiohead ‘side project’— Yorke arrived on stage cooly at least five minutes ahead of schedule, his signature top knot bobbing above him as ‘Tommorow’s Modern Boxes’ (longtime producer Nigel Godrich and fellow musician Tarik Barr) trailed obediently behind him. He felt no remorse about starting early; everyone who was here to see him would’ve been here already. Thirty seconds ahead of call time and they had already begun “Impossible Knots,” Yorke’s top-knot bun bobbing along to its namesake.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL Even if you’ve been listening to Radiohead for years on end and still associate Yorke with the scathing metal clutches of ‘90s alt rock, we can all agree that his solo work is a wonderful compliment Radiohead’s work. It’s minimalist, elegant, poised, but chaotic and discordant in its own right. It seems to energize him. Here, we see a markedly laidback, mellow version of the Yorke seen hand-wrenching his way through early Radiohead concerts, recklessly frivolous and worthy of laughter. Yes, he still breaks out in odd dance moves— his signature move this time was the turkey head-bobbing while he adjusted knobs on the switchboard— and the song selection provided mixed results, but he’s much more poised, angelic almost. The juxtaposition on stage was almost laughable: never more than once did the other two look up from their screens, each soldiering on throughout the whole set with dead-eyed determination while their counterpart Thom Yorke billowed himself around on stage. We were excited to see we could count on his wild grandpa dancing, sometimes resembling a bull at a riding competition, even through ANIMA’s heavily digitized beats.

Valerie Magan/ACL Tame Impala wows with fitting, futuristic set at sundown

As the sun started to go down and the Austin heat finally began to recede, Tame Impala’s descent into cool R&B was one much needed. It must’ve been strange, performing at the same time as Guns n’ Roses, especially since, in sharp contrast to the heavy rock going on on the other side of Zilker Park, your music isn’t meant to rile up a crowd. There were defiantly some crowd members on the outskirts looking bored, swaying absentmindedly as “Let It Happen” crooned on. While it didn’t help that he didn’t interact much with the audience— and a lack of new material made four-year old songs sound even older— I’ll give them this: the way it all came together for better or for worse was the redeeming quality of the night. The pulsing light show, the slick veneer of pyschadelic-alt, and the whirlwind of fans starving for new music somehow made for a perfect storm, lifting and carrying us above air as Kevin Parker’s five-year-old hits satisfied once again. While there was nothing in terms of new music to offer, other than two summer singles, “Patience” and “Borderline”, . At times completely drowned out by the seizure-inducing lights and laser pointers so intense I worried it’d trip up pilots, the band delivered as much of an enjoyable live experience as we could expect them to, closing out day one strong with their 15-track set of pleasant, ultrasonic lullabies. “Borderline” fit right in with surprise additions “Lucidity” and “WDYNMUYM” and the ever-popular “New Person, Same Ol’ Mistakes” sent Tame Impala out with a bang.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL Guns n’ Roses arrives on time— and with an upgraded Axl Rose

Katarina Benzova/ACL “We’re in the jungle baby!” Axl Rose told Zilker Park. “You’re gonna die!” The Saturday night slot at Austin City Limits has long been friendly to veteran acts for a while now, but even so, these last two years have been the year of ACL revivals. Last year’s Metallica was one such union, honoring an important musical legacy with hard rock and fireworks. Sure, like last year’s Metallica, it’s always a gamble to bill a veteran hard-rock act with such a small, niche subset of older fans as a headliner, but like Metallica, Guns ’n’ Roses still managed to draw in most of the older crowd, as well as a sizable subset of millenials who had skipped out on the ever-popular Tame Impala in favor of partaking in nostalgia of a time they were never a part of.

Katarina Benzova/ACL

Katarina Benzova/ACL

Katarina Benzova/ACL “Remember ’87?” Instagram stories seem to say— regardless of age— as Axl Rose performed revamped versions of “Welcome to The Jungle” and “You Could Be Mine” to a wave of phones aloft. And those who headed over from Tame Impala’s set were in for a very different ride, but everyone who stuck around just a little while longer ended up witnessing probably the best Guns ’n’ Roses performance in recent history. No, the sound mix was not the best— “Do you even fucking hear what I'm saying?” Rose yelled early into the set — and certainly must’ve sounded worse in a phone recording, but at least Rose looked the best he had in years, and Slash proved to us he still had it in him as he exited the stage with a handstand.

Katarina Benzova/ACL Misterwives is doing great

Valerie Magan/ACL

While you probably most know them from their 2014 single, Reflections, that caused quick success, you’d be pleased to know that Misterwives’ 2019 has been equally as great. Currently on tour with cult-favorite band TØP and hard at work on their third studio album, Misterwives is an absolute a ball of energy and excitement for what’s to come in the year ahead. They certainly looked it on stage; down from drummer Ettiene Bowler’s to lead singer Mandy Lee’s smiley, thrilled demeanor and bright orange getup, it’s the two freshest cuts that excite them the most, starting the set high-energy with their two latest singles. We’re certainly looking forward to their new material, and if it’s anywhere as thrilling as their ACL debut, there’s not a doubt it’ll be great.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Lil Uzi Vert

Whoops— we didn’t see that. Tierra Whack gives a fan the shoes off of her feet

Valerie Magan/ACL If ever there was a competition for the best stage presence, Tierra Whack (and DJ Zach) would be worthy contenders. The spitting image of a ‘90s underground rapper, Whack actually sports one of the more muted outfits of her “Whack World” tour: a wacky patterned purple and blue two-piece, complete with neon nails and doorknocker earrings. After a slightly-late start to her set after Zach’s computer overheats— which prompted stagehands to bring in a big-blade to place directly on the laptop— Tierra Whack to a crowd of young fans, . her DJ counterpart Zach Whack— a skinny, tattooed white guy with , Obviously “Clones” was a big hit, but she played other songs like they were just as big, and the audience responded accordingly.

Valerie Magan/ACL

“Is it anyone’s birthday today?” Whack asks the crowd of mostly student-aged festivalgoers, and, the middle of the horde produces the hand of small, student-aged boy with curly hair. In true festival style, surrounding festival-goers punt him up and over their heads and towards the stage, where he’s set down inches from Whack, who’s waiting expectantly for him to arrive. A quick exchange of banter and she’s handing him the shoes off her feet— a new, expensive, pair of patterned Nikes. She proceeded to complete the rest of the 45-minute set unshod, running through a record-shattering 18 tracks— including fan favorites “Cable Guy”, and “Pretty Ugly”— while sliding around on socked feet. What a birthday gift!

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL The anomaly of Billie Eilish, the teenager whose old soul outshines most adults

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Call her what you want— an industry plant, a product of the studio, an extension of her brother FINNEAS— but there’s no denying that . You may be inclined to think … but there’s something incredibly drawing about Eilish, who. By the time she arrives on stage, the Honda setup is rammed shoulder to shoulder, ad unlike the usual crossed-armed, bleary-eyed, pop-in-to-see-if-its-good festival old folk, its obvious everyone here is a fan. How could you not be? Even if you tried to escape, bad guy has been on the charts all summer, making headlines for dethroning Lil Nas X’s Old Town Road. Her debut album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?’ was a charming, albeit vulnerable 12-track of raw ramblings, produced by none other than her brother FINNEAS, who today joins her o stage on guitar much like h does in the studio, functioning as an impromptu hype man as Eilish bobbed around on stage in bright green. It’s clear the Eilish knows what she’s doing: with lyrics beyond her years and a concrete knowledge of just how to connect with her audience, Eilish boasts the energy and skills of an experienced touring musician, turning melancholy content best enjoyed alone, into an loud, shared experience.

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL “For this next one I have a request for you… I know you all know this chorus, but can some pits open up?” she asked, sounding akin to a rapper’s hype man at a hip-hop shindig. After all, she did look the part. Dressed like a ‘90s rapper in an oversized green tee, dangly chains and baggy cargo shorts hanging loosely off her small frame, Eilish looked less like an angsty teen and more like an uncle at the cookout. But, her music still cuts deeper than most; it’s a stormy, troubled attempt at catharsis that begs adult explanations for the abstract— culminating in “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?”. And whether you’re jealous of her for accomplishing more than you ever had at fifteen, or just one of those stony-faced parents forced to accompany their children to the pit, there’s no denying that Eilish captures hearts.

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL The Cure deliver bare bones Saturday night set, and Robert Smith is still the world's most bashful superstar

Valerie Magan/ACL A new generation may have taken over at ACL, but on Saturday night, we were reminded what it meant to be . A sharp contrast to what was going on across the park at Childish Gambino, middle-age nostalgics the Cure took the stage for what was their first run at ACL. Still managing to draw much of the older crowd to their set at the Honda Stage, The Cure found a lush audience in those itching for a bout of nostalgia much like they’d found in last night’s Guns n’ Roses. Despite looking a bit out of his element, Robert Smith . For a man that once sang the words “It doesn’t matter if we all die”, Robert Smith . While their days of blatant language and tism are far behind them,

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL It had been years since I’d heard emo classic “Boys Don’t Cry”, but it didn’t take much to remember every word. It feels almost cheap to say that emo-classic “Disintegration” rolled off Robert Smith’s signature painted-on lips as smoothly as it would’ve had it been 40 years prior, but it was true. Classics like “Friday I’m In Love” and “Just Like Heaven” had both older, dedicated fans and the Billie Eilish bleedover singing along in a surprising, cross-generational harmony to a song that had been around since some of them had been in their late teens, back when radio was the primary form of music consumption. Like Thom Yorke, Robert Smith has also earned the right to be arrogant; he gets everybody to their feet and singing with the snap of a note. “See you next year,” Smith says, riling a few of us up before realizing his mistake. “See you next week!” he restates. Hopefully it will be both.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL With church claps and smooth falsetto, Childish Gambino makes his ACL comeback

Sydney Gawlik/ACL “5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I need y’all to do a church clap for this next song,” Donald Glover said as he demonstrated what he wanted. The audience followed suit, clapping all through the opening notes of “3005”. Why a church clap was necessary there, only he knows, but the audience was more than happy to oblige. After cancelling his ACL performance (and remaining tour dates) last fall due to a foot injury, a refreshed Donald Glover , best version of himself that had been in a while. wild on stage— showed us just what last year was missing as he galloped around on stage, "This-Is-America"-style, capturing the crowd for all of his two hour set. And with the Cure playing faintly in the background, it was a wonderfully chaotic two hours for your ears.

Greg Noire/ACL

Greg Noire/ACL

Greg Noire/ACL “If you got a joint, you better smoke that shit! If you got somebody you love you better hold them close. Or if you just feeling the vibe… close your eyes and let me take you there.” His opening words were a seamless fit for his ultra-smooth single, “Redbone”— if anything, this was the vibe for a Saturday night. Although more highbrow songs like “This Is America” made for a serious frame of mind, tonight’s set boasted a particularly celebratory flavor to end out Day 2, as Childish Gambino fulfilled his promise of bringing us exactly what we’d been robbed of last year. “I broke my foot last year. I will not fail you this time,” he told the crowd, and it seemed like he’d taken those words to heart, treating each song like it would be the last time he sang it, adding falsetto and witticisms to tunes like “Sober” and “Summertime Magic”. In fact, he barely sang “Redbone”, and instead took the opportunity to show off his vocal range, swapping lyrics for falsetto and notes for soul-shouts. The crowd ate it up, more than happy to pick up the slack, filling lyrics in for him with their own scream-sing version of “my peanut butter chocolate cake with Kool-Aid”. “This is America” was a similar story, although much of the song was carried by the backup choir and dancers in school uniforms that made the stage look exactly like the video. And between songs, the audience got a beguiling glimpse of his personality: carefree, funny, relatable. Julia Jacklin rises above hungover Sunday crowd

Roger Ho/ACL Cue Sunday. The last day of the festival, lingering Friday sunburns, and the searing hangover. We can all agree that Sunday mornings are not for the faint of heart, and with a mix of fatigue from late night parties and hangovers from a rowdy night out, it was clear that the heat was catching up to everyone as the early afternoon rolled on. Collateral to this was Julia Jacklin, whose soulful, beautiful musings echoed over a shortened Honda stage entirely too sparse for her talent. She took the sparse crowd in stride; her quiet, picturesque grace never once paused for breath, making us wonder why she wasn’t a headliner. The Japanese House are indeed Good At Falling— on appreciative ears

Self described as a sad, modern ABBA, the Japanese House are absolutely Good at Falling. Good at Falling on much appreciative ears. Known for her super dreamy sets that make heavy use of a vocoder to achieve a deeper octave, it’s always a wonder how Amber Bain keeps her sets just as enthralling in front of an audience as she does in the studio. Such awe was definitely not missing today as we heard live cuts from their latest album. Some songs recall Frou-Frou— Imogen Heap’s band from years past— staying true to their older sound while still leaving room to grow. Amber is joined by two others, and she sounds even fuller this time. Not usually one to be too shy, Bain throws out hurried stage banter forced to a basic minimum as they blow through a carefully selected group of songs from this year’s debut, ‘Good At Falling’. Freshest single “Something Has to Change” was unfortunately missing, and the frustratingly short set is crowned by “Maybe You’re The Reason”. Definitely a must-see live, The Japanese House forge an incongruently haunting atmosphere in the middle of the searing Austin heat, reaching into unexpected sonic domain and creating a lush, celestial soundscape to go with abstract, deep lyrics.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL Moshpits and abject chaos are the general order of the day at IDLES' early afternoon set

Chad Wadsworth/ACL

Chad Wadsworth/ACL

Chad Wadsworth/ACL

Chad Wadsworth/ACL

Chad Wadsworth/ACL “This song is a celebration of the best thing that ever happened to Britain, and the best thing that’s happened to your country… Immigration!!” IDLES frontman Joe Talbot screams as he launches into Danny Nedelko. Rather than just being another punk rock band, IDLES has taken their platform to share their wonderful form of protest punk. Old favorite “Divide + Conquer” finds an entire American festival dancing to a song about NHS cuts, while the raucous chorus of newer cut Danny Nedelko causes the biggest singalong about immigration and “ aliens” we’ve heard in a long time. Despite an underlying theme of pain and suffering in their lyrics, IDLES finds us plenty of moments to let loose, just be carefree for a moment. And that’s certainly what the four of them are doing on stage as they give each song their all, dangling around at the mercy of a microphone cable, herk-jerking about each other in a manner that Thom Yorke would probably envy. If you haven’t heard of IDLES yet, we suggest you do… now. Rosalía brings Barcelona to Austin with stunning Flamenco Reggateon crossover

Valerie Magan/ACL Rosalia’s debut at ACL was everything we could’ve wanted and more. Everything about the performance was beautifully timed and choreographed, from the formations of her dancers, to the contrast between her and them, to the emotional, seemingly-impromptu cover of Las Grecas’ “Te estoy amando locamente”. She treated us to a tear-inducing acapella version of “Catalina”, before running through “Con Altura” (albeit without her counter part, J Balvin).

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL “You know I come from very far away. I come from Barcelona,” she said in near tears to an audience of screaming thousands. She stood in humble disbelief that she had crashed into this market so suddenly, so unexpectedly, and had spent nearly all summer on a run of festival appearances, bringing a wonderful mix of Flamenco and Reggaeton to American audience. We’re all for the latin revival in mainstream music that’s been happening in recent years, and it’s exciting to see such a humble artist break through the barrier. This can only signal a much-needed widening of musical barriers, and we’re excited to see where this takes us in the next decade. BANKS brings the fire in red getup

BANKS, who gained momentum the past few years with her song “Begging For Thread”, has catapulted to the forefront of indie. Clad in black thigh high boots and a tight ponytail, BANKS took on a boss-bitch vibe as she sang songs from her third album, making for a rich and compelling performance that took command of the audience and made sure you didn’t take your eyes off of her. Everything about her and her dancers routines were perfectly coordinated, from the contrast of their hair color to the dark theme of their outfits— which recalled the sprites from Spirited Away. ‘III’, a break from her usual dark and moody R&B is, if anything, a set of catchy singles that made exciting hip-swingers.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL Third Eye Blind wants you to know they’re “not a MacBook Pro Band

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL “We’re not a Macbook Pro band,” Stephan Jenkins told Zilker Park. “We’re not singing along to tracks. This is a motherfucking guitar band so we can do whatever the fuck we want!!” This was the energy that Third Eye Blind began with, and quite frankly, it was the energy they deserved back. Building the band from the ground up, Third Eye Blind found rightful ‘90s success with ’97 single, “Semi-Charmed Life”, but not much is said about them otherwise. More than a wonderful brush with nostalgia, the four have put out consistent, sharp albums ever since, and are gearing up to release an album next week. “You are now part of Third Eye Blind. Show me your face and I’ll show you mine”, Jenkins said, taking his sunglasses off. Sold. We will. Lizzo ‘sells out’ the Miller Lite Stage

Chad Wadsworth/ACL Oh, Lizzo. The powerhouse singer that’s been absolutely everywhere this summer. Fresh off the release of her debut album, and a six-week chart run of her song-of-the-summer single “Truth Hurts”, Lizzo has become a cultural icon. The current queen of feel-good, body-positive music, her impact cannot possibly be denied. But as the Miller Lite stage packed from edge-to-edge, with fans lining up as early as 4pm for her 7pm set, it was clear ACL had underestimated her influence. Packed from the front of the Miller stage to the outer edges of the Honda stage the distance of two football fields away, the wait for Lizzo was the most hair-raising, tense time we’d had. Fans pushed, shoved, clawed, and shouted their way to the front, hoping to be as close as possible to what they had knew would be the most exhilarating set yet. Even the photo pit filled up quick as photographers and fans clamored to get a glimpse of the “Truth Hurts” singer and her backup dancers, all clod in an array of neon orange and yellow leotards.

Chad Wadsworth/ACL

Chad Wadsworth/ACL

Chad Wadsworth/ACL And when Lizzo asked the audience to put their phone flashlights up for “Jerome”— one of the only times it felt right to see a wave of phones pointed skyward— it was like starlight had come and engulfed us. She was at the top of her game, belting out hard-hitting melodies as she ran through a wonderful selection of her hits and a few older songs. Needless to say, “Truth Hurts” and “Good As Hell” were one for the books— with the enthusiasm of everyone on stage and the roaring energy of the crowd, rowdiness and general disarray became the order of the day for those 45 minutes, taking the cake for one of the most exciting sets of the weekend. Way too short if you ask me.

Chad Wadsworth/ACL LANY, Los Angeles' near-overnight success, makes a case for themselves at the VRBO stage

Keenan Hairston/ACL Love them or hate them, there’s no denying that LANY are robust performers. Sometimes in this day and age that’s all you need, but thats certainly not all they have. An acronym for Los Angeles New York, the 4-piece’s success story is something of an anomaly, and mostly came about after the band was added to several popular Spotify playlists. But, to claim their success was contingent on a whim of streamings wold be unfair, as it would be equally unfair to suggest their fans were “New Music Friday”—ed into liking them. After all, for a band geared towards the sensitive young crowd, LANY has mature lyrics, vivid imagery, and mercurial soundscapes — all ingredients for a wonderful band.

Keenan Hairston/ACL With songs absolutely perfect for the late summer heat, LANY’s music is the perfect backing track as the sun dips into the pink and orange behind the hills, recalling memories of a gentle love— and taking our three day extravaganza with it. The fun is far from over, but something about seeing the sun— who had unwittingly become our enemy these past three days— make its way over the hills for the last time made it all the more real that ACL 2019 was coming to an end. Bittersweet excitement tinted the set, and from their early synthwave crooners “Made In Hollywood” to slower, more mature “Malibu Nights”, the bands hour-long sunset performance rivaled Lizzo’s in ?. While missing Lizzo was a sacrifice, LANY was an equally sound option that proved your 7-8pm time slot would’ve been phenomenal no matter which one you chose. Tardi Cardi! Cardi B arrives thirty minutes late to her headlining set— but fans seem to forget as she finally appears

Valerie Magan/ACL Sometimes chanting the artist’s name is a perfect way to get them to appear. This was not one of those times.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Notorious for being late, Cardi B was not on stage when the clock struck 9:00, and fans started to get antsy as time ticked on. A quick look at her Instagram story for the day revealed she wasn’t even in the United States twelve hours prior, instead wrapping up a trip overseas. But once B. took the stage, 33 minutes after her scheduled start time of 9:00, it was almost as if everything was forgotten. The crowd was euphoric to see the Bronx singer/rapper finally appear, and B. recovered quickly from her timely faux-paus with a high-energy torrent of career highlights, busting into that signature Cardi B.-twerk as fireworks signaled “I Like It.” And “Bodak Yellow” once again stole the show, going all out with its danceable beats and impressive pyrotechnic light show. Ringing in at 45-minutes total, the set felt undeniably short, but once again, Cardi recovered by reminding folks of her upcoming El Paso show on Oct. 8.

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL

Valerie Magan/ACL Mumford and Sons close out Weekend One with audience tears and unifying folk rock No caption is needed for this amazing closeout—the pictures say it all.

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Pooneh Ghana/ACL

Pooneh Ghana/ACL

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL

Charles Reagan Hackleman/ACL And that's a wrap on weekend one! Check out some more photos from the event weekend below, and stay tuned for weekend two!

James Blake, Valerie Magan

21 Savage, Valerie Magan/ACL

21 Savage, Valerie Magan/ACL

Bea Miller, Valerie Magan/ACL

Bea Miller, Valerie Magan/ACL

Bea Miller, Valerie Magan/ACL

Bea Miller, Valerie Magan/ACL

Bea Miller, Valerie Magan/ACL

Bea Miller, Valerie Magan/ACL

Third Eye Blind, Valerie Magan/ACL

Third Eye Blind, Valerie Magan/ACL

Gary Clarke Jr., Valerie Magan/ACL

Gary Clarke Jr., Valerie Magan/ACL

Jenny Lewis, Valerie Magan/ACL

Jenny Lewis, Valerie Magan/ACL

Gary Clarke Jr., Valerie Magan/ACL

Jenny Lewis, Valerie Magan/ACL

Jenny Lewis, Valerie Magan/ACL

Jenny Lewis, Valerie Magan/ACL

Tame Impala, Valerie Magan/ACL Read the full article

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