#and i wanna make friends but also i know I'm super intense with my feelings and reactions.

[justarandombrit]

Okay well as you may know from looking at my blog for five seconds, I saw the matinee for Starkid Innit. During the interval and after the show I wrote down some notes. I tried to get them in chronological order but my memory is dogshit and I definitely missed some stuff, I hope you appreciate it though.

Outside:

. EVERYONE SUNG GRANGER DANGER

. IT WAS SO GOOD (except for the high note lmao)

. EVERYONE SUNG DAYS OF SUMMER

. EVERYONE A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE SUNG GOIN' BACK TO HOGWARTS

Act 1:

. The Nightmare Time sting punched me in the face

. The shout-out to the confused parents

. BRIAN + MEREDITH IN TGWDLM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

. High School Is Killing Me, Literal Monster and Nerdy Prudes Must Die all got mashed together!

. Corey!Richie is my Roman Empire

. Jaime in NPMD….

. Jaime had a different line to PJ’s original in Literal Monster. I couldn't hear half of it but it was different

. JEFF!MAX

. THE AUDIENCE SINGING RICHIE'S PART!!!!!! I'M NOT A LOSERRRRRRR

. TOGETHER!!!!!

. OUR DOORS ARE OPEN

. Jaime singing Sami/Harry ABOUT HER DOG (Nori)

. The audience whipping out the phone cameras

. CLARK SINGING I WAS GAVE ME SUCH INTENSE CHILLS

. Joey finally giving the white, male side characters attention

. Joey changing “I know I'm not a star” to “I know I'm not Clark”

. He pointed the mic at the audience for the “DEFINITELY NOT!”

. Joey mistimed his jump 😔😔

. Genuinely his best performance of Sidekick yet

. Joey making fun of Brian for not getting a big solo

. Brian kept pretending to beat him up, it was brilliant

. Not Over Yet is definitely Brian's song, shut up

. Brian accidentally singing the same verse twice (How does he always mess this song up?!?!?)

. My mum took a photo during the “EVIL PLAAAAANSSSS” bit and it was right when Brian was choking Joey

. “So look alive and don't forget”

“FORGET WHAT?”

. FEAST OR FAMINE

. Rogues Are We still goes so hard

. Rogues Medley without Kick It Up A Notch is weird, but Kick It Up A Notch without Dylan would definitely be weirder

Intermission:

. Ice cream :D

Act 2:

. Starting with We Got Work To Do is so iconic

. THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE IN THE CLIMATE, SOMETHING'S IN THE AIR, WE FEEL THE HEAT, NO NEED TO DEFINE IT, WE DON'T REALLY CARE

. MEREDITH REQUESTED BACK ON TOP!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS SO GOOOOD!!!!!!!

. Joey shouted “Draco, get on the floor!” at Lauren

. ALL THE UNDERRATED SONGS

. I love how it was hyped up like it was going to be Boy Toy, and then just straight up wasn't lmaooo

. Brian finally got the slow, sexy Hideous Creatures (Take that, Nick Lang!)

. Okay I'm trying to remember the order of the underrated songs they did

. Hideous Creatures (Lauren)

. Pays To Be an Animal (Corey) (He didn't sit in the spotlight and someone yelled “TO THE LEFT, COREY”)

. Get In My Mouth (Jeff) (He fully sprawled out on the stage it was hilarious)

. Land of the Dicks (Jaime)

. Hermione Can't Draw (Meredith) (She sung it so well I briefly didn't recognise the song)

. THEY MANAGED TO WORK IN LUPIN / BRIAN CAN'T SING YESSSS

. I genuinely cannot remember what Brian sung

. Gotta Find His Dick (Joey, and eventually everyone)

. The entire “Oh you wanna know where I got my shirt?” bit

. Brian, Jaime and Joey got it from Primark, Meredith got it from “Primed-mrak”, Lauren’s was a family heirloom, Corey got it from Gucci and Jeff got it from America, from Pri-mart (He made the guy on the drums do a baddum tsh)

. COREY SINGING SHOW STOPPIN' NUMBER. OH MY GOD. (The entire crowd joined in, also, Jeff and Jaime as Steve and Stu)

. Everyone cheering so loud when Joey and Lauren came on stage, and them claiming we had no idea what they were going to sing, and it was actually a completely new song (it was Granger Danger obviously)

. And them continuing to claim it was new throughout the song

. As I expected, I almost cried during Not Alone. Also apparently Darren thought it was going to be a big hit??? And just begrudgingly let them use it for A Very Potter Musical

. Super Friends!

. So sad Jeff’s mic was so quiet for “I WANNA BE A MODERN DANCER”

. THEY SUNG WANNABE BY THE SPICE GIRLS

. The fakeout of everyone leaving stage, then the band coming back on and playing the start of Goin' Back To Hogwarts

. “Darren's not here”

“I'LL DO IT”

. THE AUDIENCE DID THE FIRST PART OF GOIN' BACK TO HOGWARTS ALL BY OURSELVES

. JEFF DID DYLAN'S PART (but he didn't do “All of you to [city name] :( )

. Jeff pointed at various parts of the audience for “Welcome hotties, nerds and tools!” and then whispered “I'm so sorry” immediately after

. Singing (/ shouting) Goin' Back To Hogwarts along with hundreds of other Starkid fans was so exhilarating, I loved it and I almost cried (also I'm gonna be so hoarse tomorrow)

#starkid #starkid innit #it's starkid innit? #team starkid #starkid productions #joey richter #lauren lopez #jaime lyn beatty #brian holden #clark baxtresser #corey dorris #meredith stepien #jeff blim

[dixiedingo]

Bahhh

#been feeling crummy #doesn't help my eliptical machine finally gave up #but I've been obsessing again #i hate it when I do this because I don't feel like I have any control over it #no matter how hard I distract myself I just keep thinking about the pains and stuff #this morning I couldn't stop thinking about how abandoned I feel/felt #yesterday and today i just feel ugly. unsightly. #and i wanna make friends but also i know I'm super intense with my feelings and reactions. #and i know. we just live inna day and age where people just. don't have the patience for it #it feels like if i ever complain to anyone they'll just abandon me and complain about how like #self absorbed and emotional I am #and I know this is all irrational but when it actually happens to you when the worst case scenario actually happens #you get so jumpy and frightened #my problems seem so intense and so much cause everytime I bring it up I judt get hit with #“oh.” or “wow.” or “im sorry.” #and its like you're clearly uncomfortable! and now I feel bad! and its like I can never tell anyone whats wrong. #and the few people who do listen I can never get them to talk to me in normal circumstances #so i feel like you're a therapist more than a friend and thats worse bc its like im using you #vent #i just feel like crying but I know it wont fix anything and i'll just get another nose bleed

[houkagokappa]

This week I’ve had two guys tell me they’ve been thinking of me late at night/throughout the week and it’s only Wednesday

Any ladies wanna chime in to even out the numbers?

#my nonsense #my life #i know one of them has a crush on me #and i've turned him down #so things are a little awkward #but his comment was more of a joke tied in with a compliment and comment about my style and the clothes i wear so it was fine #the other guy tho #i can't tell if he's a little intense trying to become friends with me or is he also interested? #i don't wanna assume too much #but i feel like he's been thinking about me and worrying about me too much??? #maybe he's super interested in making new friends and that's why? #maybe i'm unnecessary cold and uncaring??? #idk #i'm also having thoughts about the fact that i'm getting these comments from guys when i'd rather hear them from other women #something about not being seen as a lesbian #and something about not wanting to look down on or ignore straight cis men either #like that whole man hating lesbian stereotype #since i've never really been friends with guys? #i've always cliqued better with women or queer folks #so i find these relations a little weird? #but it's also kinda weird not have them #i'm overthinking things again aren't i?

[omgeto]

☆ I WANNA BE YOURS — GOJO SATORU

summary: your best friend was used to picking up the pieces of all your heartache. and he's been idly waiting for the day that he could have you all to himself — but when he you give him a chance just for you to snatch it away you realise you might just loose more than his heart.

w/c: 3.3k

cw: afab!reader angst to fluff, you break his heart and put it back together again by giving him a great big blowjob so mdni! also unprotected sex (its more like making love if you ask me)

an: I actually really fw this fic. id say it was my best one yet so give it a chance people, just like how you should give gojo a chance. since he's actually super loveable here. hope you enjoy!

gojo satoru was hopelessly in love with you, and everyone seemed to know that, but you. he was your best friend, someone that you relied on, depended on, its been that way since you were kids. ‘she’d never see me that way,’ he’d whine to all his friends about you, whenever they’d see you together, holding hands, cuddling, but still proclaiming the title as ‘just friends.’

you were currently crying in his arms, as he consoled you, caressing your back. gojo was used to this routine by now – you’d get a boyfriend, they’d break your heart, and he was left to pick up the pieces. “i just don’t get how this one failed, i thought i was doing everything right,” you mumble, your voice breaking as you sniffle against his chest.

“they just don’t appreciate how great you truly are,” he comforts you, a silent “i do though,’ left unsaid, as he stares down at your tear stained face.

“satoru?” you ask, pulling slightly away from him, “i'm pretty, right?”

“don’t even ask me that shit,” he scoffed, “you already know the answer.”

“just answer.” you did know what his answer would be already, but you just had to hear it, “i just need to know why all my relationships end.”

“listen to me,” he demands, tenderly holding your face in both of his hands, his gaze unwavering as he looks at you, “you're beautiful. you always have been, and it's not even just your looks, it’s your whole being, everything about you. there’s nothing wrong with you, you just have a terrible taste in guys,” he finishes with a goofy smile trying to lighten the mood.

“yeah, maybe you're right,” you reply with a soft sigh, your gaze dropping to avoid his intense stare. It was both comforting and unnerving how he could always see through your insecurities.

“i don't say things i don't mean, you know that.” he tilts your chin up gently, forcing you to meet his eyes once again. “anyways we should prob–” 

you press your lips against him, interrupting his sentence, and he eases into it, his lips moving against yours with no hesitation. but you pull away as quickly as you kiss him, your eyes widening as you realise what you’ve done. “shit im sorry satoru, i didn’t mean that.”

the air around you seems to shift, the atmosphere heavy with the weight of the unexpected moment. you can feel your cheeks flushing, and you look away, unable to meet his gaze. his fingers brush against your jaw, gently guiding your gaze back to his. the intensity in his eyes is undeniable, a silent acknowledgment of the shared feelings that had been hovering beneath the surface for so long.

"fuck that," he murmurs, his voice low and tinged with a mixture of determination and vulnerability. he closes the gap between you again, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle, lingering kiss. 

the softness of your lips against his is a sensation he’s dreamt of, and now that it's happening, it's even more intoxicating than he imagined. his hands cradle your face, his fingers threading through your hair as he deepens the kiss.

his lips move against yours with a skilled finesse, his breath mingling with yours, creating a heady mixture that leaves you breathless. your fingers find their way to his hair, tangling in the silken strands as you pull him closer, your bodies pressed together. 

“satoru, i need you.” you tug against the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his. you were desperate, craving his touch, “need you to make me feel better.”

gojo took your words seriously, aiming to make you forget about all the heartache you’ve ever felt with those other guys, and focus only on him. he lays you down on the couch, unbuttoning your shirt, pulling your tits out of your bra. 

“don’t worry, ‘m gonna take care of you,” he mutters, pressing kisses into your cleavage, until his lips eventually circle your nipple, suckling and pulling at it. you gasp slightly at the feeling of his tongue swirling on your tits. your hands go back into his hair, roaming through his scalp, tugging hard as he bites down on your nipple.

his mouth remains on you, his hand trailing down into your underwear, rubbing circles on your clit. you whimper at the contact, feeling yourself getting wetter as his fingers enter you, he starts off slow pushing his digits in you gently.

“is this okay?” he asks, he wanted to make sure you felt good, that was his priority. he grins as you nod, too caught up in your pleasure to verbally respond. his quickens his pace, gyrating his fingers into you, pressing another searing kiss on your mouth. 

you were dripping over his digits, as they pistoned in and out of you, but your hands reach out to his belt as you moan out, “‘toru i wanna feel you.”

“you wanna feel me huh?” he teases, unbuckling his belt with his free hand, he pulls out his hardened dick and strokes it a few times before rubbing it down your wet slit – teasing you with just his tip.

“c-c’mon,” you whine, grinding your hips down against him. he smirks at your excitement, forcing his dick inside you, your eyes widen as your pussy stretches and gojo can only bite down on his lips as you clench around him.

“you feel so good, y’know that right” he murmurs, forcing himself into you deeper, “so fuckin’ tight.” his eyes stay fixed on you, he loves you like this – pinned under him, clawing at his back, your mouth parting at the pleasure that he’s giving to you.

your legs wrap around his hips as he sinks into you further, you could feel his breath on your neck as he whispers in your ear, “you’re perfect, this is perfect.” he sucks on your collar bone, kissing and biting as he continues to thrust into you.

“‘you’re t-too much, i-it’s too much.”

“but you’re taking me so well,” he argues, with a grin. peppering kissing against your neck as he fucks you to a hilt. your hands find their way back into his hair, pulling and tugging at it as you moan out his name. 

his dick twitches inside you as you call at his name, you could feel that he was about to cum. his strokes were getting sloppier, and his mouth went from biting to sucking on your neck. you could feel yourself about to climax, scratching at his back, as he continues to hit your spot.

“toru, i’m about to–”

“cum with me,” he demands, thrusting into you a few more times before you both reach your peak. and just before he’s about to release into you, his whispers a barely audible “i love you” right in your ear. he sprays your walls and you cum all over him, mixing in with him. he slumps down on you, pressing his forehead against yours, his dick remaining in you as he catches his breath.

as you finally disentangle your bodies, gojo reclines on the couch, a blissful smile gracing his lips. his breathing gradually transforms into gentle sighs, a sure sign that he has succumbed to sleep. you weren’t oblivious to his feelings towards you – the way his gaze would linger a little too long, how his hugs would be tight and comforting. he was in love with you – and you didn’t know how to deal with that.

all of your relationships never lasted, they always had an issue with something you did. you ruined them. and you didn’t want to ruin gojo, you’ve been together since you were children and he’s always been so good to you. you couldn’t bear the thought of causing gojo pain.

your gaze lingers on him for a moment longer before you turn away, your mind racing with a storm of thoughts. you've been friends for so long, and the prospect of losing that connection is heartbreaking. but you also can't ignore the truth that's been staring you in the face – gojo's feelings have crossed the line from friendship to something deeper.

as you quietly gather your clothes, your heart aches with conflicting emotions. you've always been there for each other, and the thought of hurting him tears at your very core. with a heavy sigh, you dress in silence, your mind a whirlwind of thoughts. 

“you’re really just gonna leave?” he calls out behind you as you head to the door, your hand frozen on the handle.

“satoru,” you gasp, turning to face him guiltily, “i thought you were asleep.”

“you were actually just gonna leave?” he accuses further, ignoring your comments, “after this, after what we just did?”

“this doesn’t change anything,” you say shaking your head with your eyes closed, you couldn’t see his face.

“it doesn’t change anything?” he scoffs, standing up, walking over to you, “how can you say that? after i've given you my all, literally everything i can offer to you, and that still isn’t enough.”

"i was scared, toru," you ramble, the truth spilling out of you, your voice catching as you admit your own fear. he was upset, this was the last thing you wanted, him looking at you, his eyes pleading for you to choose him,"i've seen how my past relationships have crumbled, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you too."

his gaze softens for a moment, his fingers itching to reach out to you. "but things can just go back to the way they were with us," you continue, your words wavering, unsure if they're just a desperate attempt to keep things safe and familiar.

“i think we both know they can’t,” he says bitterly, his hand clenches at his side, “just answer this. why was it never me?”

“i’d ruin you,” you explain, your hand reaching out towards his, a soft smile on your face, “you’ve seen how i am with all those other guys. you’re too good for me.”

"no, I'm not good enough for you," he concludes, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and sadness. he takes a step back, his expression conflicted, as if grappling with his own internal turmoil.

with your eyes brimming with unshed tears, you watch as he rushes past you, his departure leaving an ache in your chest. "you stay, I need to clear my head," he mutters, his voice strained, and then he's gone, leaving you standing there, torn between your fears and the feelings you've been trying to deny.

as gojo stormed out of the apartment, his emotions were a tangled mess within him. the mixture of frustration, hurt, and longing had him feeling like he was caught in a whirlwind. he couldn't believe how everything had escalated so quickly, how he had allowed himself to be vulnerable, only to feel tossed aside.

“suguru, i fucked up,” he cries into the phone to his best friend, his voice laden with distress, “i fucked up so bad.”

“satoru, calm down,” geto tries to soothe him, his tone steady, “what exactly did you do?”

“I fucked her,” he forces the words out, a mixture of regret and frustration in his voice, and he could sense geto wince on the other end of the line, “she kissed me, and i fucked her.”

"that's a good thing, isn't it?" geto's voice holds a note of confusion.

gojo's sigh came through the phone, heavy with a sense of defeat. "bro, she doesn't love me back," he practically wails, the weight of his realisation crashing over him, "she doesn't love me back. i got too greedy, she gave me an inch and i took it too far.”

"are you sure?" geto inquires, his tone thoughtful, "she wouldn’t have agreed to have sex with you if she wasn’t feeling something. i've seen you two together, i've seen how she looks at you. she loves you."

"if only it were that simple," gojo mutters, frustration lacing his words. "she said it doesn't change anything between us. that it was just a moment of weakness."

there was a pause on the line, geto processing gojo's words. "look, satoru, I know it's not easy, but maybe she's just scared. she literally just got out of a break up too, she’s probably just overwhelmed."

"but what if I've ruined everything?" gojo's voice was laced with uncertainty. "what if I've made things worse?"

"you won't know unless you talk to her," geto advises, his voice gentle yet firm. "honesty is the best way to navigate this situation. tell her how you feel, listen to what she has to say, and go from there."

gojo sighs, his tension slowly easing as he absorbs his friend's words. "you're right. i need to face this head-on."

"good, this whole ‘will they? won’t they?’ schtick that you two have going on, has gotten old. very old.” geto finishes, abruptly ending the call.

gojo takes a deep breath, feeling a mixture of anxiety and determination. he knew he had to confront the situation, to lay his feelings on the line and hope for the best. with a newfound resolve, he gathers his thoughts and prepares to have the difficult conversation that lay ahead.

“you came back,” is the first thing you say, when gojo enters the apartment. you couldn’t gauge his mood, his expression was off, and you didn’t want to upset him further. 

“well it is my apartment after all,” he spits out a bit too coldly, his words laced with tension. however, his face softens as he takes a step toward you, the coldness melting away,, “besides i didn’t go far, just outside.”

you nod in acknowledgement, not knowing what to say. your uncertainty making it hard to find the right words. the atmosphere is tense, and you're acutely aware of the weight of the situation between you.

"i had some time to think," gojo starts, his voice softer now, "and i realised that running away from this won't solve anything."

his words draw your attention, and you meet his gaze, searching for any clues in his eyes. "satoru, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. i shouldn't have acted on my emotions like that."

“it’s ok i-”

“no it’s not okay,” you insist, stepping towards him grabbing his hand, “i never should of acted that way, disregarding like you’re nothing. i was wrong.” you had time to think after gojo left, and you knew you were being unreasonable. there was a guy who was ready to love you, give you his all, and you were just going to throw him away without a chance. 

he weight of your words hangs between you both, the air thick with the shared acknowledgement of your mistakes. and as the intensity of the moment settles, a newfound sense of clarity takes hold – the understanding that your feelings for each other can't be ignored, no matter how much you try to suppress them.

“you really fucked w my feelings y’know,” gojo’s words hang in the air, heavy with hurt. his eyes bore into yours, his emotions laid bare.

“i know,” you reply softly, your voice laced with regret, “and i’m so sorry toru. i never meant to hurt you like that. i was scared, and i didn’t know how to handle my own feelings so i lashed out.”

gojo's gaze softens, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. "you were scared? of what?"

"of losing you," you admit, your voice quivering slightly as you reveal your deepest fear. "you mean so much to me. you're my best friend, and I was afraid that if we crossed that line, it would ruin everything we have."

a mixture of emotions passes over gojo's face – surprise, realisation, and something else, something that you can't quite pinpoint. "you think being with me would ruin our friendship?" he asks, slightly offended.

you shake your head, your eyes locking onto his. "no, that's not what I meant. I just... I've seen how my past relationships ended, and i didn't want the same thing to happen with us. i didn't want to hurt you or lose what we have."

“i love you.” he declares simply, “that’s all that matters.” you couldn’t even respond because he was right, nothing else mattered. he places a gentle kiss to your forward, wrapping his arms around you.          

“let me make me it up to you,” you whisper, looking up at him bashfully through your eyelashes, “let me show you how much i love you.”

“you don’t have to–” he starts, but he pauses, taking a sharp inhale as your hands slip into his jeans. you peck his lips before working his way down to your knees. you take his dick out, licking your lips as you stroke him, massaging his dick. you pepper kisses all over the tip, still keeping your eyes trained on him.

“c’mon don’t be a tease,” he whines as you focus on his tip, sliding your tongue around it as you continue to pump his dick with your hands. 

you take him into your mouth, its warm and wet as you suck him in. you move your hands to cup his balls with a firm grip, massaging them as you continue to twist your mouth on his dick. you can hear him lightly cursing, drying his best to moan out at the pleasure you’re giving him. but you were determined to get him to cry out your name.

he was loving the sight of you, mouth stuffed, slobbering all over him. you were sloppy, just how he liked it, using your saliva and his precum to glide your mouth over and over his dick.

“f-fuck,” he stammers, biting down on his fist, he usually last way longer than this. but the difference is you, he would’ve never had imagined that there’d be a day you’d be on your knees all pretty, swallowing his dick. but now that you are, he wanted to burst.

you could tell that he was close, so you jut your head faster, using your hands to pump what your mouth can’t cover. he thrust into your mouth, aiding you in reaching his climax, forcing his dick deeper into your inviting mouth.

“you’re mouths t-too good, it’s–” his hands rest on your head as he releases into your mouth. you swallow all of him, licking your lips, satisfied.

“now toru,” you coo, with a smirk standing up to face him, “can you see how much i love you now?”

the rest of the night was spent just like many others you had shared together over the years, wrapped in each other’s arms in the comfort of his bed. this time, however, it wasn’t masked under the guise of friendship, you now exchange kisses with ‘i love you’ said in between each one.

AN: and that is all folks, TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS I actually dislike the friends to lovers trope, not gojos biggest fan, and I hate sucking dick BUT I LOVE IT ALL HERE. HE'S ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY SWEET, AND DONT U JUST WANT A GUY THATS DOWN TO JUST LOVE YOU! DIVIDERS BY @/CAFEKITSUNE.

#stampedwithanE★ #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut

[bigbawdy-benzz]

SUPER SHY 2.0

Pairing: Miles 42! X Shy Black Plus Size Fem Reader

Tags: @idkmistake @aaliyahwalkshere @mama-2001

Summary: Y/N has finally been noticed by Miles, you already had Miles heart now you have it even more now that you two are bonding getting to know each other.

A/N: I'm glad you guys loved the other one so much!! So here's pt.2 a day later I hope you guys love this one as well!! ENJOYYYYY as the author I was giggling and kicking my feet rooting for y’all. Btw if you didn’t read Pt.1 go read it before this one!! pt3

“I'm Y/N thank you so much”. You say taking your books trying to hide your smile.

“No problem Y/N also I like your shoes” Miles stated with a smile, you looked down at your shoes then looked at his smiling even wider looking back up at him.

“Thank you we’re matching” Y/N replied. Miles looked at his shoes smirking looking at Y/N

“Coincidence” He said swiftly walking away with his friends. You were hooping and hollering in your head trying not to scream.

“GIRLLLLLLLLL” Aaliyah shouted.

“Damn that was a very intense moment” Ocean states with her eyes widened looking at You.

“That's your man cannot convince me ANY less” Aaliyah exclaimed, throwing her hands up.

“Seriously did you see the way he LOOKED at you when y’all were talking AND the mamita that's all yours Y/N”. Ocean added to Aaliyah’s statement

“PLS don’t add on to my delusions, let's get to class” You stated before, y'all were late to class. You and your friends contained yourselves going to your math class. You couldn’t concentrate on anything but Miles was running through your mind it was hard to pull yourself together. Your friends noticed laughing quietly. You looked at them with a smile, you went on your phone to distract yourself seeing the following icon pop up on instagram, you clicked it seeing ‘therealmilesgmorales’ has followed you. Your eyes light up showing your friends your phone.

“Ohhhh mmmmm ggggggg” Aaliyah whispered.

“You better get on that luv cause that's officially your man he followed you” Ocean stated smirking at You.

“Real delulu screaming out my man” You sang causing you and your friends to giggle, in your peripheral vision your teacher eyed yall.You guys immediately started doing your work praying the bell rings soon. You went back to daydreaming with the biggest smile on your face, you heard the bell ring grabbing your things exiting the class room with your friends. The rest of the school day went by smoothly, you saw Miles in the hallway shooting him smiles and he smiled right back at you. The end of the day approached and you were about to leave with your friends.

“Hey Mamita” Miles said approaching you, you were smiling from ear to ear.

“Hi Miles” You said shyly.

“Is it okay if I walk you home?”. Miles asked, You looked at your friends and then back at Miles they nodded their heads at you.

“Yes of course” You replied.

“BYEEE Y/N WE LOVE YOU” Aaliyah shouted

“BE SAFE BOOKIE” Ocean Shouted as well as you were leaving with Miles.The walk was dead silent for 5 minutes because you were too shy to say anything, Miles picked up on this smiling at you.

“What you listening to?” Miles asks

“I'm listening to Best I ever had by Drake” You reply

“That's my shiiit play it I wanna listen”. He says you take your airpod out blasting the song. Miles starts singing, you look at him chuckling joining him cause fuck it.

“Baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted We could do it real big, bigger than you ever done it You be up on everything, other hoes ain't ever on it I want this forever, I swear, I can spend whatever on it” The both of you sing laughing having a good time walking home. You were smiling the whole walk, Miles started dancing while walking making you laugh.

“AYEEEE” you shouted hyping him up, you appreciated how he made you feel comfortable by doing simple things. Quite frankly Miles did not give a damn about how he might have looked crazy; it made you feel comfortable enough to sing at the top of your lungs with him.

“Who else you listen to ma?” Miles asks with a smile, seeing you smile

“I listen to Brent Faiyez, Tyler the Creator, Steve lacy, Shreea Kaul, the list goes on”. You reply smiling from ear to ear.

“I like Brent Faiyez, Tyler the Creator,Steve Lacy, I have to listen to Shreea Kaul. We gotta get together, do nothing and listen to music you a Vibe” Miles stated, looking at you with the cutest smile on your face.

“Tienes una hermosa sonrisa” Miles said, making you want to fall to your knees, the way it rippled off his tongue, the way his voice sounded it tingled you just right. (You have a beautiful smile)

“Thank you Miles” You said shyly, Miles chuckled.

“You gettin shy on me Mamita?”. He says confidently being a tease, the way everything rolled off his tongue did something to you.

“Noo of course not”. You say looking away from Miles.

“Awe it’s okay, I have a question for you”. Miles expressed

“What's your question?” You ask while still looking away from him, he brought his hand to your chin turning your head to look at him, you were flustered trying not to blush.

“Can I take you out Tomorrow?” He asks, caressing your cheek with his thumb, you fall into his touch looking at him.

“Yes you can take me out” You say receiving a smile from Miles, he wanted to kiss you right then and there but it was too soon way too soon. He stopped touching your face realizing you’ve made home.

“Don’t worry about where we are going, I'm going to figure it out,it's going to be a surprise just show up looking pretty I'm going to show you how pretty girls are treated”. Miles stated looking you in the eyes.

Stay tuned for pt 3!!!

#astv hobie #astv fic #astv fluff #astv angst #astv gwen #astv pavitr #astv miles #astv fanfic #astv #miles x reader #miles 42 #earth 42 miles morales x reader #1610 miles x reader #earth 42 miles x you #1610 miles morales #earth 42 miles x reader #42 miles morales #miles morales 1610 #hobie x reader #hobie x you #hobie spiderverse #pavitr x reader #atsv pavitr #into the spider verse #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderverse x reader #black reader #Spotify #miles x black reader #miles 42 x reader

[missuswalker]

DUDE ALL OF UR WRITINGS ARE SO GOOD u literally make Stan sound like a loser AND HE IS!!!! AND I EAT IT UP ITS SO FUNNY AGAIAHJAHQIA THE JUMPSCARE TOO😭😭😭

Could I req hcs of Stan (the slimy. The STINK.) and Kyle (I feel like he always has a prominent forehead vein from all the rage he has in his body) separate with some mutual pining w a f!reader that’s suuuuuper flirty n zesty w her friends like saying some out of pocket goofy shit like barking n meowing or “I’m hard” or like “I need u carnally.” LOL but also gets easily flustered when flirted back with??? I will kiss the ground u walk upon btw (thank you sm I’m literally up at 3:37 giggling thinking of when u post a response to this)

i'm in love with you for this YOU GUYS THINK UP THE GOOD SHIT

stan and kyle with a flirty reader

✮ summary: stan and kyle crushing on a flirty reader (who gets flustered when flirted back with)

✮ warnings: sexual jokes LMAO

kyle broflovski

i can't imagine him getting all "omg i- i- i- i- 😱😱" over it

like thats not happening

his face will get red, yes

but he's not gonna get super flustered over it

he'll be like "🫥😧" and side eye the hell out of you

it's funny to him sometimes, but also, if he's already pissed off, it's just annoying

"damn, tryna take it to the temple? 😏" "y/n, shut the fuck up."

but that only encourages you to do it more

but it makes him think he's not special since you flirt with your friends, too

"bebe, you can be my baybay if you know what i mean 😏😏 just call me mommy 😁"

and then gets upset and hopes you come flirt with him

the first time he flirted back, it was like you shut down

"why ask for my number when you can just call me a good girl" "i bet you'd like that wouldn't you"

IT WOULD SIMPLY BE THAT, NOT EVEN THAT INTENSE

you'd almost start doing the butters foot kick thing like in the episode where he had to partner up with cartman

"what 😁 huh 🥰 say that again? 😊"

he'd think it was so funny

his rizz isn't bad either so it's even worse

would pull the "you don't have anything to say, huh"

he'd start calling you petnames to make it worse

"come sit over here, babe"

just shit like that

realizes he's the only one you get super flustered over, so he makes his move

after a couple more days of torturing you

his ego just expands

thinks he's the shit

pulls out the black tshirt

stan marsh

oh my god he literally is a loser

"hey stan-ley, wanna give me that stan-d?" "woah."

brags about it

"y/n said she'd gobble me up yesterday 😏" "dude, what the flip" "kenny, you just don't get it."

but when he's around you he says the stupidest shit

"looking good, marshy poo" "oh, thanks 😰😁"

when he flirts back, it's all mid

"nice shirt, stanley" "nice face, y/n"

but when it still flusters you, he's like "yeah, she likes me"

"would you be interested in going out with me 🤓"

and then would be all like "uhhh i mean, uh, would you, let's go on a date"

thought he ate the girls up

standing there like "😏"

"yeah, sure"

AND IS SHOCKED

pretends he's not shocked

"oh, sweet 🥱" "like this pussy" "😦"

a/n: i love this so much

not proofread because im lazy (sexy facial expression)

#south park #x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle brovlofski #south park x reader headcanons #south park x reader #stan marsh headcanons #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh #kyle broflovski headcanons

[robynrocksforbrains]

What do you think about the whole Mike was only so protective of Will in S2 because El was gone thing? Do you think he’s going to ignore Will again in S5 and be super focused on El? I’ve seen recent discourse about this and it’s making me sad.

Anon, full disclosure I haven't seen this discourse recently. But I'm gonna take your word for it and tell you what I think. This is gonna be kinda long because I am incapable of being normal.

I think anyone who thinks that this is the case has a very very poor understanding of Mike. And also a poor understanding of literally the entirety of s2 and s4.

Mike cares about Will, and he cares about El. It's possible for him to care about both of them at the same time. The only reason he has a hard time balancing his relationship with both of them is because he's denying the true nature of his feelings for both of them. With El, he's trying to convince himself that his platonic feelings are romantic. With Will, he's trying to convince himself that his romantic feelings are platonic. It is my belief that he is fully aware of his romantic feelings for Will, and his lack thereof for El. But being aware of something and accepting something are two different things. However, by the end of s4 I think it's clear he's headed in the direction of acceptance.

So, about s2:

Mike is protective of Will because he's protective of Will. Simple as that. His fierce protectiveness of Will is established in s1.

We see it when Hopper is first questioning the boys about the last time they saw Will. Mike is insistent that he wants to be there. He doesn't just wanna help by answering questions, he wants to be out there actively searching.

We see it when he defends Will against the comments Nancy and Ted make about him at the dinner table. "All because Mike's friend got lost in the woods" "oh so this is Will's fault?" // "See what happens?" "What happens when what?"

We see it when he is the one to plan to go out to where Will's bike was found and search the woods.

We see it when he confronts Troy after the assembly and pushes him down

Mike being protective of Will in s2 is just a continuation of an already established trait. We just didn't see it in the same way in s1 because Will wasn't there. In s1 it was almost like Mike was being protective of an idea, but in s2 he's being protective of a real and tangible thing. He's not just protecting the belief and hope that Will is still out there, he's protecting WILL.

And that isn't because El is gone, his protectiveness of Will persisted throughout s1. El was there and he was still protective of Will. So El's absence cannot be a cause of his protectiveness of Will. However, the intensity of it was likely influenced by the events of the previous year, which would include watching El "die". But his behavior regarding Will definitely has more to do with what happened to Will than with what happened to El.

I think that if El was present in s2, he still would've been just as protective of Will. Because that's just who he is.

Now, about s5:

He's not going to ignore Will in favor of El. Anyone who thinks that definitely just blatantly ignored his entire s4 arc.

I mean, Mike and Will's s4 arcs were almost entirely dedicated to fixing the damage that s3 did to their relationship. Mike apologizes to Will for how he acted since he got to Lenora, but there's also a sense that he's apologizing for more than that. He says "this last year". He's not mentioning anything specific, but we know what happened. Will knows what happened. And although it still should be, and likely will be, explicitly addressed, this is a start.

I kinda think that the "cool" "cool" scene is when Mike starts to prove to the audience that he's worth Will's love. Because if s3 didn't happen, I don't think there would be doubts. If s2 Mike was also s3 Mike, I don't think anyone would be saying "Will deserves better". But s3 did happen. I love Mike, but he did mess up. He did treat Will like shit. And that should be acknowledged by the characters and by the plot. So when Mike apologizes for his behavior, and subtly addresses s3, and then Will decides that it's worth it to bring his painting - which is a declaration of love - it's a confirmation that this was a turning point for Mike. This isn't a fluke. Mike wants to be better, and he's trying to be better, and that's going to continue for the rest of the season, and it will carry into s5. This conversation, which marks a real change for Mike, includes the line "I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But whatever it is, I think it'll be easier if we're together. A team. Friends. Best friends." And then Will makes the decision to bring what is a plot device for byler's development specifically. Like it's pretty clear what behavior the plot is rewarding.

"I think maybe I was worrying too much about El... And I don't know maybe I feel like I lost you or something" is worth mentioning here because not only is this Mike explicitly stating that his s3 behavior was a deviation from the norm for him, but also the plot rewards this confession. It rewards Mike's vulnerability (although tentative) in this moment. Mike's vulnerability is returned tenfold in the van scene. And since we know Mike's vulnerability was rewarded, it only makes sense for the same to be true for Will's. The painting is the catalyst, Will's vulnerability (although veiled) has to be rewarded by the plot.

And then again, in their last scene together, Mike reaffirms that they're a team. Yeah, you can say that when he says "we will" he's referring to everyone involved. But he says this while firmly grasping Will's shoulder. He wants Will to know he's here, and he's not going anywhere. Yes, it's about everyone, but underneath that there's a sort of desperation for Will to believe him. He's determined to live up to what he said in Dear Billy. He wants them to be a team. So when he says "we" he means everyone involved, but there's an unspoken "you and me".

AND THEN AGAIN, in the final shot, they're together. But more than that, Mike makes a CHOICE to stay by Will's side. He's there because he wants to be with Will. Nothing is stopping him from walking to stand by El's side. But he doesn't do that. He stays with Will because he told Will they were a team and he meant it. I could go on and on about what this means from a storytelling perspective. About how there is obvious thought put into using this to tell the audience what to expect. But from a character perspective, thinking of Mike as a real human with his own thoughts and motivations, it's clear what he's thinking in this moment. They're facing something terrifying, and he knows exactly where he wants to be while he faces it, and that's by Will's side. This scene is undoubtedly foreshadowing for s5, and it's very reasonable to conclude that it means his priority will be Will.

TL;DR Mike was protective of Will in s2 because that's just what is natural for him. And his priority in s5 is going to be Will, because that's what s4 very deliberately set up.

#this is a very summarized version of my thoughts on this specific topic #i meant it when i said i am incapable of being normal #i really could go on and on and on #but i wont #byler #byler endgame #mike wheeler #will byers

[doll-book]

𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚛𝚔𝚜…♡ (random sht i do when scripting / shifting (´ω｀★)

🍭 i always use my own first name in my drs, but switch up my nicknames (which sometimes dont sound anything like my real name). the reason for this is because if i can't have anything but memories from my dr in my cr, i'll bring something from my cr to my dr. hearing my s/o call me by the name my parents gave me would feel so intimate and personal, and makes it more special imo. it's the name i'm used to, whether it's aesthetically pleasing or not. i also feel that it'd help me adjust to my dr quicker after shifting in - because if i woke up in a whole different place with a whole different face and a completely new identity, i already know ill be going bonkers. hearing someone call my cr name will help calm me down, and i'll feel more in tune with my dr self.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i also use different last names that suit each dr; like for my rich/famous dr, i chose the last name celene-sinclair because it just feels expensive and it-girl like. for my princess dr, i chose bluebell because i have the power to grow flowers in that dr and bluebell blossoms are one of my favorites. in my florist dr (i have a thing for flower themed drs lmao) my last name is magnolia. in my bakery dr my last name is coco for the spice, etc etc etc! i really like embodying the vibe of the dr, which i talk more about in the next point.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i have a light case of synesthesia (tasting shapes, hearing colors etc) and it definitely affects the way i approach scripting. each of my drs has a highly specific color, theme, taste, and/or sound; and to be honest, i feel like this made meditating and hyperfocusing on my drs super easy. hearing a certain song immediately makes me think of a scenario i scripted, or helps me embody the person i am in that dr. because of these connections i make subconciously, i'm able to enter the void state pretty easily and experience intense symptoms. i have other mental blockages that have been stopping me from shifting thus far, but we're working through them! it's only a matter of time.. ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉ

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 one thing i'd like to add is: i feel like we all subconciously associate things in a similar way, whether you have synesthesia or not. my stance is that making connections to your dr through music / mood boards / colors / sounds / etc is super helpful, and helps you slip into your dr headspace in a much shorter amount of time. the connections you make literally become triggers, and once you shift for the first time, you'll likely be able to do so again if you use what triggered you previously.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i like categorizing my drs. why am i shifting here? what will i feel once i shift there? currently, i have pleasure drs, travel drs, different lifestyle drs, job drs, self care drs, comfort drs, and book/show drs. each one gives a diff vibe and i like having options when choosing where i wanna go at night lmao

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i never script in my irls, especially not my parents. it's not because i don't love them or anything like that, it's because i'm scared of growing too attached to my drs, and / or changing the relationship i have with that person in my cr. i love my mom so much, if i see her in any other reality i know i'll find it hard to consciously make the decision to leave. in a way, she's what's grounding me to my current reality, and my safe word is literally her name. i always script that my parents are never anyone i know personally. the same thing goes for close friends - if i see my best friend in my dr, how the hell am i supposed to leave? i cherish the memories i have with the people i know, and interacting with them in a new reality where we have completely different backgrounds and upbringings .. idk it'd be unsettling to me ( ╥_╥ ) it'd probably affect the way i interact with that person in my cr too. but that's just me!! if you feel differently you do you ganggg

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

that's all!

kisses, pearl ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

#shifting #shifting realities #desired reality #scripting #shiftblr #shifting community #reality shifting #kpop shifting #kpop #new blog #shifting script

[no0t2]

@checkadii

I literally just woke up so this is the worst time to post this but ngl I have this problem where I wanna talk about it but I blank so fucking hard and fall flat on my face that I end up not talking about it anyway out of sheer embarrassment.

I'm not good at structuring my thoughts properly either because of ADHD, but here goes I guess.

I usually gotta segway into the topic if it's relevant to the conversation usually via,, friend convo, I don't know how people do deepdives of characters and whatnot I can't do that. I'm not sure why that is, this always has been a thing for me where I've got some level of understanding and my own HCs and such but they're not written or anything, so I can't express them.

To me Postal is just a silly series (minus P1 and Redux), not to be taken too seriously. So I don't really think about the "lore" that it has so much. I can ramble about Postal: Brain Damaged tho, that's probably my favourite cos of gameplay... And the designs as well as the soundtrack. It's just such a good game, I never thought shooters would ever be a genre I'd like to play, as I was so against playing them (thanks Half-Life for opening up my eyes). I can say definitely with confidence that retro styled FPS are especially something I find fun? Not on intense difficulty or anything either, I usually can't go above normal.

I've listened to "Straight Outta Suburbia" for like over an hour straight, I'm pretty sure even during while I was drawing one of my BD sketches lol

Back to Postal in general, I frankly haven't done enough "research" on it where I can properly speak about it aside from the games I've played (P1, P2, Paradise Lost and P:BD) And they're all games that are super different from each other (aside from P2 and PL, but even then). I'd also say I'm still pretty new to the series, speaking as I haven't played all of the games yet. Frankly, I was planning to just stick to P2 and that's it, glad I didn't.

Postal 1 I remember making me feel all sorts of weird things when I both played it and after I finished it. The load up intro scared the shit out of me the first time I opened the game, to where I had to pause for a minute. And it kept spooking me each time I did open it. I think that was kinda the point of the game as it's pretty dark compared to it's counterparts. I won't get into the lore of the 1st Dude cos I've seen people pluck at each other's feathers over the interpretation of him. But essentially, guy looses his shit during an episode, starts killing everyone. (Or just, "hostiles", depends how you play the game.)

P2 is so wildly different (aside from the fact that you can shoot people) that when I first opened it I was so confused how I was met with THAT Dude. I was surprised to hear him talk more beyond than just "BLEED" or "Only my weapon understands me". At the time I was also wrangling personal fears and feelings(which I don't know if I wanna get into, let alone if people would even wanna hear it lol) over playing the Postal series, so my initial expectation towards the game was:

"Okay, I know this is going to have some offensive shit in it, there's parts that won't be fun probably." And hoped for the worst, surprisingly a lot of the stuff in it I didn't find that bad, most of it is definitely fucked up, but nothing I couldn't handle, surprisingly. I played neutral-y, so I only attacked whoever attacked me, but I'd bail if I had the chance.

Paradise Lost plays similarly to Postal 2 (as it's literally the same branch of game just in the form of DLC). But I've found myself enjoying it way more than Postal 2, mostly cuz I found some of the jokes in it actually funny.

P3 I haven't played because I got rick rolled by RWS on the website so I'm not gonna play it out of spite </33 (But I've seen gameplay)

Postal: Brain Damaged is like, even more different than the previous entries as it's a retro styled shooter. But it has the charm of a Postal game and MAN is it good, I think the fact that it was released more recently is what made me enjoy its humor more. And it just!! Is so fun in general like wow, I'm still processing playing the game and I've already been thinking of replaying it because of how much I've enjoyed it. Definitely recommend trying it out.

AND WOWWW this has gotten long oops. Sorry.

I wanna note tho that, although there are aspects of Postal I enjoy, there's a lot of them that I don't, namely the offensive bits, some of them are genuinely fucked up where I can't go past them even in a comedic sense. Which I think is OK. I still enjoy other parts of it :^]

#this is such a long ramble I'm soo sorry #There might be typos dnhdhw #I'm not maintagging this do not perceive me #nines rambles #<- LITERALLY

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Uh hi! So I know you usually do ship stuff, but I am desperate for some Isaac Henderson angst content. I’ve found a few here and there but most of them aren’t actually super angsty and a lot somehow feel more about the other characters even if they’re meant to be about Isaac. They’re good but nothings really scratched that itch so far. Could you write something using #12 from the angsty dialogue prompts? Or honestly if you’d rather not do that one, any one of the prompts would be great. I’ll leave it up to you what exactly it’s about and who the line is directed at, I just wanna see my fave go through it.

hello!! i'm sorry this took so long! i would like to clarify that i started it ages ago, but it was at less than 1000 words yesterday evening, and then it was finished at 2am last night. (i got so into it i'm currently in the mindset of "that's it, i'm going to try and post at least a fic a week now 😤", but we will see if that actually happens.) so, i hope if nothing else it's sufficiently angsty and not too ooc. you did give me quite a bit of freedom, and it remains unclear if that was a good choice or not 😅 anyway, enjoy!!

12. "Help me."

Post-prom, Isaac felt out of sorts. 

His situation with James and his odd encounter at Elle’s exhibition had been eye-opening, to say the least. Angela Chen’s Ace still resided on his nightstand, though he’d finished reading it two days after lifting it from the library. He couldn’t bring himself to return it just yet; he found himself going back to it at night, rereading sections over again as if they would tell him something new, feeling he was still missing something. And anyway, they were still on summer holidays. The school wouldn’t miss it for now. 

No one seemed to be missing him much, either.

It was becoming more noticeable, this summer break, how he was the odd one out. He’d been aware his friends were essentially coupled off for months now, and Paris had cemented it, but Paris had also kept them stuck together as a group. 

(Plus, most of the Paris trip had been before things had become royally awkward with James, but he was mostly avoiding thinking about all that.)

The situation with Darcy had understandably taken a bit of a priority in the past couple of weeks, but it didn’t explain the shift that had seemed to happen within all his friends since prom. Isaac had figured for a while that Elle would be leaving, and he assumed it was why she and Tao had been attached at the hip. He didn’t begrudge them it, really. He had watched them pine over each other long enough that leaving them this time together felt warranted. Besides, it wasn’t like they were asking Charlie to movie nights recently, either. 

But it also wasn’t likely Charlie was waiting to be asked, these days. He and Nick had seemingly re-entered their honeymoon phase, which was fair given that they finally could be as coupley as they wanted wherever and whenever they wanted. Isaac just found it odd that it seemed to be more since prom than Nick’s coming out, but he was not going to ask about that. It made sense he didn’t want to think about. The intense, somewhat dark cloud that seemed to still hang over Nick around Charlie was more worth questioning, but it was also part of what kept Isaac from encroaching on them recently. 

Everyone seemed to have something going on. His going-ons felt a little unworthy, in comparison. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling shit about himself because he didn’t want to put an extra burden on his friends and it was a bit sad he considered his feelings a burden, or if that was an excuse for not having to talk about it because he didn’t really know how and it was making him feel shit. 

So, yes. Out of sorts. 

Out of sorts and alone, most of the time. 

He was not in the habit of pitying himself, however, and he was not about to start now. So what if he was having some life-defining realisations about himself and he had no one to share them with? He’d coped with life mostly on his own so far and he’d continue to do so. 

And he was coping. Perfectly. 

Kind of. 

Sitting in one of his best friend’s houses, surrounded by their other friends and staring into a book was how he always coped, so this was perfectly normal. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t absorbing the words and everyone seemed louder than usual. He hadn’t been sleeping well. He was tired. That’s all he was feeling. 

Tara tugged at his foot from where she and Darcy were perched on the floor by his armchair. “Isaac, we're gonna play a boardgame. Put the book down and come join us!”

Isaac looked, but Tao and Elle were still wrapped up in each other in the corner and Nick and Charlie were nowhere in sight. He raised an eyebrow at Tara. “We are?”

“Yes! Nick and Charlie are away to get them right now, so come get comfy.”

Darcy snorted. “Good idea, because we could be waiting for a bit.”

Tara slugged her shoulder and Darcy only giggled again. 

“Shouldn't they have passed the honeymoon phase by now?” Isaac asked, lowering his book slightly but not yet closing it. 

“Nick and Charlie?” Tara grinned. “I'm not sure those two will ever come out of it.”

“Well, I can't say I don't understand,” Darcy quipped, leaning in to Tara with a grin. Tara turned towards her, and their smiles melded as they kissed.

Isaac snapped his book closed. “Actually, I think I'll go to the loo while we're waiting.”

No one gave any sign of hearing him, so Isaac slipped quietly out of the room and up to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at the giggles coming from Charlie's room and didn't pause. Closing the bathroom door behind him, he finally released a sharp breath. He perched himself on the edge of the bath and pulled out his phone.

Instagram was a distraction he did not often indulge in. His follow count was small—only his friends and favourite authors alongside a small cluster of bookstagrammers he'd found to have good taste. He saved a couple of recommendation posts, then began clicking through stories, pausing when he reached James's. 

The story was almost timed out, all of it from last night, seemingly at a party. Isaac had stopped on a video where James appeared to be singing along to the song playing with another boy. In the middle of it, the boy had swooped forward to kiss James on the cheek. 

Isaac stared at James’s delighted expression and something complicated clenched in his chest. He quickly locked the phone and set it beside him, directing his focus to the wall. 

It was good, he rationalised. James was wonderful; he deserved to be going out and having fun, and he deserved, without question, to have a handsome boy having fun with him. Whether they were friends or something more didn't matter, but the something more definitely seemed possible, if not likely. And James deserved someone who could give him that. 

Isaac had not been able to give him that—did not want to give anyone that, could not derive any joy from it, even from the chance of it giving joy to someone else. 

He was not incapable of love. He knew that. When he looked at his family, when he looked at Charlie and Tao and Elle, he was always so full of love he felt he might explode from it. It wasn't romantic, and it wasn't physical, but it was love, in its purest form it seemed, to him, given he did not want anything in return for it but their happiness and their continued place in his life. 

It was love, uncomplicated, unconditional love, and why wouldn't that be enough? 

He never seemed to be enough. 

He always did what he could to be a good son and a good friend, and he had never doubted it until recently. James had been one of those good friends. He still was, as far as Isaac was concerned, but their relationship had undeniably changed. Maybe it was simply in an awkward phase that would pass, but Isaac, at the moment, could not believe it would ever be the same. For a time, James had been something of his best friend—not because Isaac liked him more than Charlie or Tao or Elle, or because he really spent more time with him, but because James was Isaac’s friend in a way they were not. They spent time together, the two of them, and shared interests the two of them, and when they had been together they had not felt the need for any company outside of the two of them. 

But that had not meant the same to James as it had to Isaac, and Isaac could not give him anything more. He understood that his rejection would not be taken without consequence, but he hadn't been prepared to be, in a way, rejected in return. 

Was this all he would ever achieve? Having friends who would always be somewhat distant—who would always have someone closer, someone better—or having someone close who would eventually want that closeness in a way he did not. Before, he'd worried he was not worthy of that want to begin with. Never had he thought it would be his inability to return it that would be the issue. Could he be upset, that it was his not wanting to be too close that lost him all closeness as a result? 

He was alone on an island of his own making. He couldn't blame anyone for leaving him there if he wasn't going to invite them in, could he? 

Was this, then—alone in the bathroom of his best friend's house with his phone locked beside him and tears in his throat—all he was destined for? 

Isaac Island, party of one. 

A knock on the door startled him, and he swore quietly as he knocked his phone onto the tiles. As he picked it up, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and blanched. There were no tears, but his eyes were red and his face was blotchy and the tears were waiting in his throat, they surely would be there if he went back downstairs to—

Another knock.

“One—one minute,” he tried, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. He quickly turned on the tap and ran his hands and wrists under the cool water, but it did nothing to steady his breathing. The thought of his aloneness had choked him, but the thought of returning into company strangled him. It was not his friends’ fault—he refused to make it his friends’ fault—but at the moment, he couldn't bear them all the same. 

He cupped more cold water in his hands and scrubbed it over his face, but it did not shock him out of the spiral of his thoughts. The third knock barely registered over the growing ringing in his ears. 

“Isaac?” Not Charlie, like Isaac had thought. Not Nick either, or Tara, or any of them. “Are you okay? I'd really like to use the loo.”

His island, he thought deliriously, was sinking; he was drowning, and still, he could do nothing but soak his hands under the tap and soak his face in turn and suck in breaths that did not hold enough oxygen. He was drowning, he was sinking, he could not see it but his body felt it and his lungs were going to seize, he was dying—

He cut the knocking off by throwing open the door and gasping, “Help me.”

Isaac had one second to appreciate Tori’s bewildered expression before it turned serious and she took to action. “Isaac? Hey. Look at me.” She set her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around his middle, still heaving. “I'm assuming you didn't just get diagnosed with asthma,” Tori said, still impossibly calm—perhaps he was actually the sea, he thought, undefinable and raving, and she the island, unravagable. Isaac shook his head. “Alright. I think, then, this is likely a panic attack. Would it help if I get Charlie?”

Isaac shook his head more vigorously. 

To her credit, Tori only considered him for a few seconds, and didn't argue. She guided him back into the bathroom and gently kicked the door closed. “Sit,” she told him. He did, and she crouched in front of him. Immediately, with his knees pulled to his chest and the bath supporting his back, it was better. He was not so adrift. “You're alright. It will pass. I know it's stupid, but you really do just have to focus on breathing.”

She started counting. It was only when she'd repeated the numbers four times that he understood she was telling him how long to breathe in and out for. Then he tried to follow it, and slowly, air felt like it was moving through him regularly again. 

Isaac wiped at his cheek. To his embarrassment, his fingers came away damp. He didn't look at Tori, but he said, “Thank you.” Then, “Sorry.”

She didn't brush off his apology, or tell him to get out now so she could actually use the loo—both of which would have been fair and not unexpected responses. Instead, she turned and sat next to him. She leaned against the bath to his left, a few inches between their shoulders, and stared at the wall quietly with him. 

When his skin stopped vibrating, he tucked his arms around his middle again and breathed out. “How did you know what to do?” he asked. 

She glanced at him and shrugged. “I didn't, really.”

It was all she offered, but it seemed honest. Isaac decided not to push. He was too grateful to care much. 

“Do you want to tell me what it was about?” she asked, softly. 

Isaac looked over at her. She was looking back, unsmiling but not unhappy. She reminded him a lot of Charlie, Isaac had always thought. They seemed similar in ways they likely weren't even aware of. It was both comforting and unnerving. “Do you really want me to?”

Tori shrugged again. “I'd prefer it if you told Charlie or your other friends, because I think that would be more helpful. But I don't think you want to. So you can tell me, if you need to tell someone.”

That was—exactly what Isaac needed, really. He didn't exactly think it should be Tori. They'd known each other a while, and they liked each other well enough, but they weren't friends. Plus, Isaac knew she and Charlie were actually close; it felt weird and unfair to tell her something and then ask her to keep it from him. 

But in this moment, he could not think of a better option, and the mere thought of getting the weight off his chest was a relief. 

“I think I'm going to end up alone,” he said, blunt and ridiculous. Tori, completely fairly, raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Not because I think I'm unlovable or something like that.” Although that was part of it. “But because—” Could he say the actual words? “—I think I'm asexual, and aromantic, so I don't think I'll ever love love anyone, and I think that means I'll always be a bit alone.”

He could. 

It still seemed sad and pathetic when he said it out loud, maybe even more so, but the act of it—the unretractable reality of it—settled something in him. 

Tori's expression, a little confused but free of judgement, only added to that feeling. “So, you don't feel romantic or sexual attraction,” she said slowly. “At all. Is that what you mean?”

Isaac was vaguely impressed. He nodded. 

“When did you figure this out?”

Isaac took a long, heavy breath. “I think, properly, I started to figure it out in Paris, when I realised this guy liked me and I was trying to figure out if I liked him back? But I think I'd been starting to realise it long before then. I just…hadn't known what to call it, or what it meant.”

Tori, he noticed gratefully, took time to process this before nodding. “And now?”

Isaac blinked. “Now?”

“What do you think it means now?”

Oh. Isaac hadn't expected the question, and he found himself unsure of how to answer. “I think it means I'm always going to be lonely.”

Tori tilted her head. “But you didn't think that before.”

“What?”

“You said you don't think you're unlovable. And I agree. I think Charlie loves you a lot. I think most people would, because you are a very nice person. You didn't think of that as less important because it wasn't romantic before. What changed?”

Changed? Nothing. Everything. They were growing up, and love had more meanings when you grew up, and some of those meanings became less important. He looked at the wall again. “They have other people they love more,” he said softly. 

“And you won't ever have that,” Tori returned, equally soft. Not a barb, not a rebuke, nothing negative at all. Just realising; working through it alongside him. “So you think you won't ever be the most important person to someone.”

Isaac swallowed, unable to answer. Not because he didn't know the answer—because it was yes, it was true, she was right, of course she was—but because it was impossible to admit. 

“I think that's the case for most people,” Tori said, at once blunt and thoughtful. Isaac looked back at her, awaiting an explanation. “Think about it. Even the most in love people usually have children, and then their children are the most important people, or at least equally important. And if they have more than one child, no one of them is the most important, and neither of the parents are the most important to the other. I think, instead of having one supremely important person, most people have a group of important people in their life.”

She looked over at him and continued. “There probably are different levels and different kinds of importance, but I don't think that necessarily means one is worth less than the other.”

Isaac sat, for a moment, and absorbed that. Could it be true? He thought of his family. He was lucky, in that scenario. His parents were kind, were wonderful, and he knew without question that they loved him, and he loved them. Neither one of them, he realised, was more important to him than the other. He had different relationships with them both, but each of their losses would leave an equally sized hole in his heart. 

He knew that probably wasn't the same for most people, but if he could find that one example in his own life so easily, he couldn't deny it was possible in others. 

“I suppose,” Isaac said. “I think I know what you mean. I don't think it's the same, but—I know what you mean.”

Tori did smile, now. A barely there thing, but warm and kind, all the same. “It probably isn't the same. I know me saying I love my brothers equally and neither of them are less important doesn't mean anything for your friends treating you the same as their partners, or even other friends. But I think—every relationship is as important as you make it. And sometimes, people might not know they aren't making it important, if they don't know what's important about it to you.”

“Has important stopped sounding like a real word to you, too?” Isaac asked. 

“About six ‘important’s ago,” Tori agreed. 

Isaac laughed, and his relief grew. Tori's smile also grew, just a tick. 

“You're saying I should just talk to my friends,” Isaac noted, eventually, and Tori's smile grew wry. 

“I did say that at the very beginning, yes.” Isaac laughed again, and she shook her head. “But I am saying you should explain to them. I can't promise you're wrong, or tell you everything will be fine,” she said truthfully. “But I don't think you can assume people can't give you what you need, if you don't tell them what that is and let them try.”

Isaac’s chest tightened again, but it was different to the breathless feeling from before. Instead of hopelessness, it was an anticipatory sort of buzz. There was a sureness that hadn't been there before. 

There was a clatter from outside, and this time it was Charlie's voice that called out. “Isaac! Are you still up here? We have the game set up.”

Isaac looked from the door back to Tori. She gave him another smile and nodded. “Go on. I have really needed to pee for about ten minutes now.”

Isaac laughed, again, and got to his feet. Tori passed his phone up to him, and he thanked her once more. He knew she could tell he meant for everything, and she wouldn't appreciate him making more of it, so he took his leave without another word, leaving her to pee in peace. 

Charlie was hovering at the top of the stairs. His face broke into a smile at Isaac’s appearance. “There you are. You've been up here ages.” His smile drooped slightly as Isaac came closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Isaac nodded. “Sorry, I got caught talking to Tori.”

“In the bathroom?” Charlie huffed, bewildered but amused. For a moment Isaac pictured Tori's expression when he'd opened the door to her, and he smiled. 

He only hesitated for a second before saying, “I wanted to talk to all of you about something, actually.”

Immediately, Charlie's expression softened. “Yeah?” When Isaac nodded, Charlie smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, tugging him towards the staircase. “Come on, then. The game can wait.”

#heartstopper #heartstopper fic #isaac henderson #prompts #i actually really enjoyed writing this #i feel like i don't express my love for isaac enough #so this was a good opportunity #so thank you vm for trusting me with the request! #i hope it's at least somewhat what you were looking for <3 #honourable tag for #tori spring #i could imagine no one else when i thought of this scenario/convo #i think any interaction between these two would be a very cool and important thing to have #my fics

[ashes-writing-corner]

Hey guys! I am so sorry for the super long delayed update to this. I've been super busy, I've been sick, and I've had an injury I'm recovering from. I'm doing better, I just messed up my tailbone a while back. And i've also been super dedicated to getting my book done. But you're not here for that! You're here for the Ghosts that We Knew! Let's gooooo!

Taglist: @stargatenovus @poisonedsultana and @cedar-bees

Tw: none really, maybe a mention of Necrophilia, hinted Spectrophilia but it doesn't go into details. So yeah...

Ghosts That We Knew

Part 14. Spectrophilia

“Are you and mama mad at each other?” Ellie asked one afternoon as she put aside the doll she was playing with.

Ghost was watching her from a corner in the room, as he always did when the girl was home and playing by herself. She had seemed somewhat somber these days, since you had figured out who he was and what he did. Ellie had felt the tension. She was doing everything her little mind could come up with to try and make them happy again, and it seemed to work to a degree. But there was still a sort of intensity whenever you and Ghost were in the same room. You hadn’t completely stopped talking to him, but you seemed hesitant to say anything.

“No lovey, we aren’t mad at each other” he answered quickly.

“Mama seems upset about something” Ellie pointed out, looking at the ghost who looked so comically big in that small corner.

Ghost sighed a little. “I…did kinda do something”.

“What’d you do?”.

Now to come up with an explanation a little kid would understand. That was the hard part. Ghost wasn’t stupid. He knew kids were smarter than adults usually gave them credit for. However, this wasn’t her fight to sort out. This wasn’t her problem to solve. This was between you and Ghost, whatever this was.

“I kept a secret that I shouldn’t have” he said.

“But I thought that’s the point of secrets?” Ellie cocked her head.

She wasn’t wrong. Thankfully he had a good counter for that.

“Sometimes yes. But serious ones, ones that could hurt people, they need to be told. Not be secrets. Surprises are temporary, secrets aren’t. I kept something from your mum that seriously hurt her feelings. We talked about it and I thought we were doing okay”.

“What was the secret?”

Now that was something he didn’t want to tell her. Not yet. Not to mention it really wasn’t his place to tell her. It was yours, and he wasn’t about to take that from you.

“Your mum will tell you when you’re older, I’m sure”.

“But I wanna know now,” Ellie said, “Please?”

Behind his mask, he couldn’t help but smile. “I appreciate the manners, kiddo, but I can’t tell ya. No matter how much I want to. It’s gonna be alright. I promise. Your mum just needs time and we gotta wait for your little brain to develop a little-”.

Ellie frowned. “You think I’m stupid…”

“What? No! No, never! I could never think that way about you, lovey. You’re a smart kid. It’s just that, problems between adults should stay between adults” he carefully sat down just in front of her on her bed, “What gave you that silly idea?”

Ellie put her hands on her head. “I hate talking about my brain”.

“Why?”

“Makes me feel dumb”.

“Sweetheart, you are anything but dumb. There’s just some things that you don’t understand yet. But I promise you, someday you will. It’ll take a while, but you will. And I’ll be there when your mum wants to tell you. You’re not alone Ellie, and you never will be if I can help it”.

With that, he hugged the little girl as best he could. It was cold, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind it. She was still worried about the situation though, she couldn’t help that.

“Can you and mama be friends again?” she asked.

“I’ll try to talk to her and see what’s going on. I caused this and I think only I can fix it. But seriously, Noelle…Do not for one second think you're dumb, stupid, ugly, or whatever negative thing is in your little head. You are remarkable. You’re sweet, kind, and you have the biggest heart of any kid I know. What or whoever is saying otherwise-”.

“My brain says it…” she admitted with a frown.

Behind his mask, Ghost frowned. Depression in such a young child was hard to swallow. He understood what she meant and that was a sad thing. But at least he knew.

“My brain used to say things like that too” he told her.

“Really?” she asked.

Ghost nodded. “A lot, actually. I…Only I didn’t hear my voice in my head saying things like that”.

Ellie cocked her head. “It wasn’t your voice?”

“Nope. My father was very mean, he’d say terrible things and do terrible things. Whenever my brain said negative things about me, I’d hear him say it”.

“What would you do to make it stop?”.

He couldn’t tell her that in the end, the voice had won over. No, he wouldn’t let her be without hope like he had been. He couldn’t do that to her.

“I’d tell him to shut up. That I was doing the best I could, and if nothing was good enough for him, then I’d give him nothing. Pay him no mind, give him no credence. No attention. Nothing. I would listen to music. Think of things that I liked, things that made me happy. And most of the time, he would stop”.

Ellie looked thoughtful. “Can you tell my brain to shut up?”

Ghost chuckled. “I can do something better. Close your eyes for me”.

The girl did as he asked and he put his hands on either side of her head. Again, his touch was cold, but she didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Hey, Ellie’s brain…be nice” he whispered, “She’s got it rough enough as is. She doesn’t need you makin’ it worse. If you aren’t nicer to her, I’ll come in there, and you’ll be very sorry”.

Ellie laughed and her eyes fluttered open. “Will it help?”.

“Well, when your brain starts saying mean things, I want you to remember that. I want you to hear my voice in your head saying just that. Sometimes our greatest bullies are the ones inside us. But it doesn’t need to be. When that happens, tell me or your mum, and we can make those thoughts go away”.

Ellie nodded in understanding. “Thank you” she wished she could hug him.

She didn’t need to, as Ghost reached his arms out and embraced her in an icy hold. “There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you, sweetheart. Remember that”.

“I’ll try…” she answered.

“That’s all I can ask” he replied letting her go, “I’ll try talking to your mum. I promise you, none of this is your fault or anything. It’s purely mine. I’ll take care of it. I promise. You just worry about being the best dang Ellie there is”.

Ellie smiled widely and nodded. “I’ll try. Thank you!”.

“You got this little one” he stood, “Now to go talk to your mum. Whatever you hear, I promise: It’s not your fault. Alright?”

“Not my fault”.

“Exactly. If you have to, cover your ears and keep saying it”.

“Are you guys gonna yell?”

His eyes softened more at that. “I’ll try not to. But your mum is really upset with me. Not you, me. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise”

He remembered being that young and being afraid of his parent’s raised voices. He didn’t have anyone to protect him then, and he would be damned if he failed to protect her. It was bad enough the poor dear suffered from depression already. Ghost refused to make it worse if it could be helped.

Now it was time again to face the music, and figure out what exactly was bothering you now…

You were sitting in your room, having just washed up from dinner and now settling into your night routine. You were still looking for a therapist, as you weren’t about to go back on your word with Ghost, despite the new information you had. Soap had messaged you not too long ago, but you weren’t sure if you could talk to any of them without anger. You weren’t even really sure why you were angry at them. Price, Gaz, and Soap hadn’t actually done anything. They were just there the night of your transplant.

It was bad enough your mom and sister were there. You hated that they saw you like that, on the verge of death and needing a transplant. You hated that Ellie saw you like that. A chill passed by you and you set your book down, turning your app back on so you two could communicate somewhat.

You…okay…

“About as good as I can be in these circumstances” you answered.

Angry…me.

“You’re angry?”

No…you. Me.

“I’m still processing everything and I actually learned something else”.

What?

“Your friends were there that night”.

That took him by surprise. The guys were there? Why? Was it time? Were they coming to say goodbye? Did they still think that fondly of him at that point? He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Price called me, he left a message. I thought of calling him back, but I haven’t had the time and I don’t wanna run the risk of screaming at them. It was bad enough that my family saw me in that condition. I didn’t want your friends to be subject to it too”.

He wondered if they were actually there for him. It would make sense…

For…me…not…you.

“It’s possible. I just…I hate thinking of all those people’s eyes on me. I was sick, and I needed help. Not pity”.

You got help.

“I know but…I just have mixed feelings about it”

That didn’t answer his question though. You had been really tense with him as of late, and he wanted to know if perhaps he did something wrong.

Wrong?

“What?”

Something…wrong…I…did.

You sighed. “As I said, I just need time to process everything. I didn’t expect to get so tangled up in the military again. After my partner’s passing I didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. Now I’m caught in it forever. I just feel awkward around you now, it’s weird”.

Awkward?

You sighed and looked over at the end of the bed where you assumed he was sitting. It was now or never, and he had a right to know.

“You…Okay, I don’t want you to feel weird like I do, but I think it’s important” you got up and closed your door, careful to make sure you didn’t make too much noise as Ellie was about ready for bed by now.

With the door shut, you went back to the bed, heart hammering in your ribcage like a bird trying to get free. You weren’t sure how he was going to take this. Hell, YOU didn’t even know how to take this. It was so…bizarre and maybe wrong on some deep moral level. You weren’t sure. You opened your mouth to finally talk.

“When you touched me the other night…my chest and everything…” you were looking at your hands, trying to keep your palms from sweating, stifling the urge to pick at your arms, “You made me feel something. Some kind of way. I…haven’t felt anything like it since before my partner died”.

Uh oh…

Oh god…

No…no…no…

Red flags were going up in Ghost’s head. A voice in his mind, for once not his father’s, was screaming: “Go away, go back to the closet right bloody now and do NOT come out!”. This could not be going where he thought it was going. Even so, he couldn’t move. He wanted to, oh gods he wanted to, but something just held him in place. He was stuck in some kind of nightmare scenario and there was no getting out of it.

When he didn’t reply, you continued.

��Maybe I’m just crazy, or lonely or something…but…I liked it. I liked it…definitely more than I should have. I mean, I totally get it, you didn’t mean it in like a sexual kinda way, but…” your words failed, “Fuck…”.

An awkward silence hung between you. Simon had NO idea what to do or say. You actually liked that he touched you? And he definitely didn’t mean it in that sort of way, but it felt…nice. He hadn’t felt warmth like that in ages, softness in even longer a time. He didn’t find the action to be entirely unpleasant and you definitely didn’t either.

Weird and yet, it felt so right…in a strange way.

Simon snapped back to reality. No, this wasn’t some weird romance novel shit. This was actually happening and it was wrong. He was dead, you were alive. To wish for such things would be black mark on both of you. He would be holding you back. And you, if anyone ever found out, would be ostracized as a…well…was there a term for someone who wanted to sleep with ghosts?

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I feel so damn stupid” You shook your head and kept your gaze still on your hands, “I’m not a necrophiliac I swear…”

I know.

“It’s wrong. It’s so wrong…”.

Feel wrong?

“Feel wrong?”

Did…it…feel…wrong?

“Well no because you asked permission first. All I wanted to do was show you the scar, to show you what you did, in a way” you answered honestly, “And again, I know the intention behind it wasn’t-”

Again?

You stopped, stunned. Hell the question even took Simon off guard. But gods be damned he…he actually wanted to touch you again. As he had said before there were things he missed about being alive, warmth and softness being chief among them. A ghost's afterlife tended to be empty and cold. But you…you made him feel like he actually existed…

You were almost too stunned for words. “I…I think I’d like that…a lot”.

You felt a blast of cold over you as you laid back against the pillows, like he was moving on top of you. It was a heavy feeling, but not exactly physical. It was hard to describe. You felt the same chill softly bristle your cheek, like something was gently touching you. As odd a sensation it was you didn’t find it at all unpleasant. You drowned out the voice in your mind screaming that this was wrong and that you shouldn’t want this. But goddamn…did you ever want something so badly?

You felt both of his hands on your cheeks, your head moving seeming on its own accord. You felt almost hypnotized as the deathly cold traced your cheeks and down your face. Your heart hammered again inside you, your stomach was doing odd flips. You closed your eyes, something taking over you. Your lips felt suddenly cold and you just knew…you just knew.

Ghost was kissing you.

You were being kissed by a dead man.

A dead man whose heart beat in your chest.

Knowing this only seemed to heighten your senses as you felt his icy hands roam over your mostly bare arms. The straps to your simple cami fell to your shoulders as the kiss intensified. You seemed to meet those cold lips with the same intensity, closing your eyes as you felt your stomach go warm…and something further down started to ache. It had been so goddamn long…

When you opened your eyes, he was there, mask half up to reveal his graying skin and violet tinted lips. You weren’t afraid. You had never been afraid. And you sure as hell weren’t now.

“You alright lovey? Is this alright?” he asked, his eyes intense and his voice a little husky.

You let out a few quivering breaths before you answered. “This is fine. I’m okay. I promise”.

“Do you want me to take this off of you?” he asked, eyeing your cami shirt.

You felt your cheeks go warm as he asked, but you could only nod. Ghost took it as silent approval and moved his icy hands to your waist so he could pull the shirt up and over your head. Still ignoring that damn pesky voice, you raised your arms a little to let him pull it off. Your eyes found his as he flung it away and put his head to yours.

“Don’t you worry about a thing tonight love…I’ve got you” Simon kissed your head.

Something in you settled a little and you knew for certain that he was right. This was right…

Sorry guys but I'm not a smut writer, I leave that to the pros cause I sure as hell am not one. Maybe I'm a coward or maybe it's cause I'm on the ace spectrum. Who knows?

Anyway if you guys liked this part please feel free to like, comment, tag, and please reblog. I really appreciate it. I hope yall are having an awesome day and I'll hopefully be back soon ^.^ thank you for your patience!

#fanfiction #cod fanfic #simon ghost riley #ghosts that we knew #ghost x reader #ghost!ghost #paranormal romance #paranormal friendship

[nitw]

hello tumblr user nitw

i am a person who enjoys the game night in the woods very much. i am also a person who experiences similar dissociation/derealization/delusions/unreality stuffs (idk what it is i'm not about to get diagnosed) that mae does, and the ending of the game always triggers those stuffs for a few days afterwards. (i still come back and play even though it gives me psychic damage because that game is so Fuckjng good)

so. my question is. will i be hurt by echo vn? i know there's horror (i think?) but idk what kind of horror, i wanna go into it as blind as possible, is there like? unreality horror? mental illness horror? i think i will play it anyway, i just wanna be warned. is there like a list of trigger warnings somewhere

HI HI HI i'm honored you chose to reach out to me about this !!

to put it simply: yes, the whole echo franchise IS horror at its core and a big amount of that horror DOES stem from themes of dissociation, hallucination, and loss of identity.

the only reason i can really handle echo myself is due to the lack of traditional jumpscares. nothing's gonna make a super loud noise while a scary face launches at you or anything like that! but the writing and execution of it all is still terrifying.

the main character of echo in particular, chase, was traumatized as a kid and has been prone to dissociating and hallucinating since. he also frequently gets sleep paralysis doubled with extremely intense nightmares. as the game plays out mainly from chase's point of view, these episodes are described in very explicit detail, and often the visuals and audio of the game will change in subtle ways to match what he's experiencing. most of what makes echo scary is how good it is at making you feel like you ARE in chase's shoes, even something like an awkward confrontation with his friends can be sooooo uncomfortable because of how well it's written.

some parts of the story also delve deep into gaslighting and feeling like you can't trust yourself, that could definitely also fuck with some people.

honestly, from what you told me, this might not be the right game for you!!! there's a lot of other things to be said about echo's horror and generally sensitive content, but i think the rest just boils down to your own tastes in horror, which is a whole different conversation. PLEASE keep these things in mind if you consider checking out the game!!!!

#asks #ghost-orion #echo vn #echo project

[i-am-the-oyster]

I’m not sure if you’ve watched it but if you have would recommend ‘nowhere boy’ ? I know it has inaccuracies which Paul wasn’t happy about like John punching him but is it still worth watching? I’m super picky about Beatles movies and biopics so I don’t wanna be pissed off the whole time lmao

Well now this depends on a lot of things, my friend. Are there any biopics you've enjoyed? I've yet to find one with nothing wrong with it.

tldr; I don't remember being angry the whole time, but I'm not in a hurry to go watch it again.

I'm a Paul-girl, and Nowhere Boy was not made for me. It (like so many "Beatles movies") is unapologetically centred on John. I don't remember it as being a lot more or a lot less accurate than your average biopic. But three things stick out in my memory:

First: the casting choice for Paul was weird and borderline offensive. No offense meant to Thomas Brodie-Sangster, but he could have played a 5 years younger Paul. It's almost like the filmmakers were trying emphasise the age difference.

Second: the relationship between John and Paul is downplayed. Now I'm not asking the movie to go full McLennon, but these guys were already pretty intense about one another, and the closest this movie comes to acknowledging that is the aforementioned punch. Which, btw, comes out of nowhere, and goes nowhere.

And third they made (imo) a really weird choice in how they handled John's relationship with Julia.

[spoiler below the cut, also cw: discussion of parent/child incest and potentially predatory age-difference]

There's a tape from 1979 where John talks about having his hand on his mother's tit and wondering if he should have done anything else. It's an audio diary, so it was never intended to be a matter of public discussion, but it is out there.

The way Nowhere Boy chooses to portray this is ... a choice. They not only include the incident, but they have the sexual feelings between John and his mother Julia be mutual. (It's not an explicit scene, but the atmosphere is clearly indicated).

We don't know that the incident happened at all--memory is tricky even if you haven't had a lifetime of mind-altering substances and ill-advised therapy--we don't even know if John was speaking literally on the tape. Hell, for all I know the tape could be fake! But we have absolutely no way of knowing how Julia felt and reacted.

The director of the movie was 42 when it was made, and the actor playing John was 19 (or possibly 18). They had an "intense connection" during the making of the movie, but they insist they were professional until it wrapped. At which point Aaron immediately proposed. I'm not saying a relationship with that age-gap can never work--they seem to still be happily married--but there are red-flags. When you put the inclusion of this scene in the context of that relationship, well let's just say it doesn't sit very well with me.

#cw: discussion of parent child incest #cw: potentially predatory age difference #nowhere man #anon ask #thanks anon! #biopic

[purplerose244]

Watched the sixth episode of LEGO DreamZzz: LOVED IT!

So... LEGO released some drawing tutorials with Mateo and I just... they're so pure I wanna hug him 😭😭😭 They're super adorable, I love especially Z-Blob's since he spends the entire time talking about how great his slime buddy is and MOOD MAT MOOD 💚💚💚

We're beyond halfway, I'm kinda sad but I'll wait until the end, maybe we got luck for a season 2?

Here we go!

THE ANOMALY

NOTHING BETTER HAPPEN TO Z-BLOB DO NOT HARM THE BLOB 😡

Pff, what was the chicken story? 🤣

Zoey is still a bit distant, I can't tell if she wants to join in or she likes these people enough to just hang around. I mean, she wasn't there last episode...

Did Logan drop the "Mattie" nick? It felt very derogatory so him switching to Teo feels like a step forward

IS THIS A COOPER EPISODE?? OH YES PLEASE GIVE ME THE DEPTH! ❤️

I knew it, he is stressed! Poor boy got stuff to do and can't even have breakfast, Coop please take care of yourself and have some proteins first thing in the morning 😢

You'll have all the time you want to have breakdowns once you reach high school

It seems like Cooper is the reliable one, Mateo and Logan are constantly over him asking for stuff. I wonder if they also affected his stress as well...

Okay Logan is still mean 😅 He's better, but still mean, and he changed teams permanently? I don't know if this is a "we're not an actual team, only in the Dream World" or a "we'll always be a dream, even if we're not in the real world"... mm

Finally we see the Night Bureau! We saw it only once before... while Teo was almost turning into a night terror... ah such good untraumatic memories 🙂

Ah, so Z is an anomaly? Come to think of it, did he come across because of Lunia's hourglass? Was there another reason?

These objects are histerical 😂😂

CHICKEN MATEO NOOO 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Okay, I'm liking this consistent trend of having Zoey being the most useful character despite being on her own, she just waltzed in solving that riddle lol

Agent... Strick? Oh-oh

DO NOT EVEN TRY TO TAKE AWAY MY SLIME BABY Z-BLOB 😡😡😡

Oooohhhh, so this is confirmed to be Brooklyn? Cool, I didn't know it was an actual place! Again I'm too used to imaginary places like Ninjago or Chima 😂

This gal is intense, dude you locked Oz in a room, isn't that a bit much? Should we call the policr?

Zoey is just there for the drama, girl are you with us or not? 😂😂

Did... did that detect thing turn red when it was on Mateo? Was it only because Z-Blob was behind? Huh... huh

SHE FLIPPING TURNED INTO A BABY/WOMAN WHAT IS HAPPENING

Z-Blob floating has to be the cutest thing even, like, look at that little guy go! To infinity and beyond 💚

NO WAIT NOT BEYOND THE WINDOW

I see how it's going 😅😅

I'm so sorry I understimated Cooper, look at him! He's just a kid and he really wants to be up to expectations, and now we got a brother that sets the example? Dude I'm eating this, I'm a sucker for angst, LOOK AT THIS BOY HE NEEDS A BREAK 😭😭😭

Z-BLOB SHENANIGANS Z-BLOB SHENANIGANS Z-BLOB SHENANIGANS Z-BLOB SHENANIGANS 💚💚💚

You did not make a hotdog out of slime

YOU DID NOT MAKE A Z-BLOB BALOON WHAT IS THIS SLIME DOING???

Is he afraid of being captured? I've never seen him going this awol before, he's always besides Mateo no matter what! Is he only scared or is there a reason?

Dude Cooper was so stressed he forgot breakfast!!! EAT BABY EAT!!!

Okay baby Strick is kinda hilarious... and Oz is on the ceiling... and there is still junk everywhere... and where is Albert? WHAT IS HAPPENING PEOPLE?!

Cooper you left for half a day, and now everything is on fire 😅

LOOK AT HIM IGNORING HIS BROTHER TO CHECK ON HIS FRIEND 🥹🥹🥹

I👏LOVE👏TEO👏AS👏A👏NICK👏

Cooper skyrocketed on my appreciation list in this episode, his backstory got so much potential for analysis! He's such a good friend, he's just very stressed out but he's super capable!!! ❤️

MATEO IDEA TIME 💚💚💚

Was that the superman line? 🤣

Aaaand, we're back! Are we fixing everything now that Coop is here?

Oh wow we actually are! I adore mechanics, I was all over them in Ninjago (Jay and Nya and Zane and Pixal and Ronin and Cyrus... there are so many in Ninjago 🥰), so this is so cool to see!

Agent Strick approves Cooper! YAS!

Oohh, so Zoey was maybe interested in joining, but never could before? Is this why she was a bit snarky in this episode, maybe she wanted to join but could never physically? That's kinda adorable 😂😂

PARTY TIME EVERYONE💃💃💃

COOPER GOT A SMALL HAIRCUT CHANGE I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! ❤️

Alright this was another really REALLY good episode, but... now I'm stuck with the crazy theory that Mateo is the anomaly 🤣

I'm sure I'm wrong and I'm just blowing this out of proportion, but what if Strict examined that plant and found traces of Z AND Mateo? What if Lunia's hourglass was found by him for a reason?

She said that the anomaly appeared "the other night" so it was clearly Z Blob... but technically the other night was when the show started for me, so I might see this as Mateo appearing in this world for the first time. Could it be he fit in in one night, everyone's memories were changed to accept that, and no one questions this?

... I know this just me headcanoning left and right and it's clearly not gonna happen

... I'M STILL GONNA WRITE FICS ABOUT THIS OKAY 🤩🤩🤩 THIS EPISODE WAS SO GOOD I'M SO INSPIRED!!!!

#i'm loving this so much #i missed doing crazy hc #dreamzzz #lego #lego dreamzzz #dreamzzz mateo #dreamzzz cooper #dreamzzz izzie #dreamzzz zoey #dreamzzz logan #dreamzzz z blob #mateo #cooper #izzie #logan #zoey #z blob #spoilers

[satsuha]

hi!! correct me if i’m wrong but you played octopath traveller 2 in japanese, right? if so then you might be able to clear up some confusion for me and if i am mistaken then i at least wanna hear your opinion. i’m a fellow hikari/temenos (hikanos? temehika? whatever people call it) shipper!! i love their dynamic. just putting that out there so you know where i’m coming from.

i don’t really like the hikari/agnea ship. i just don’t like the idea of pushing them as a romantic couple just because they have a shared story (which barely even supported them being a thing in the first place imo) and i find the idea of them being supportive friends so much more sweet.

you know that travel banter in agnea’s chapter 2, the one where hikari calls her dances hot? everyone seems to interpret that as romantic and it’s constantly written as a scene that pushes their relationship in that direction. i just don’t get it? because to me that scene felt like a very obvious demonstration of “hikari is awkward socially and he’s just copying what someone else said because he can tell it’s a nice compliment when coming from that person and wants to imitate it”. i don’t know if it’s just the fact that i’m aromantic and autistic so i prefer to put neurodivergent meanings to these things but that was so clearly what it was to me. and then everyone made it romantic? idk i just hate that, i feel like it takes so much away from both of their characters to force a relationship from that.

i’m wondering if it’s a translation thing. does it read as a more romantic interaction in japanese? if so then i’m far more willing to accept it. but if not then i’m just so confused about this and i wish people would talk more about hikari being a neurodivergent icon (also hikari/temenos is sooo underappreciated it makes me so sad so maybe i’m just biased idk)

sorry this was super long i hope you’re okay with me rambling like this!! if not feel free to ignore it

hi thanks for the ask! and i'm happy to see a fellow temehika enjoyer 🥺

i need to preface this with the fact that i don't have a japanese education, and though i have picked up on things on social media and such, i could definitely still get things wrong! with that being said, here's my take on it under the cut:

anyway yes! i played octopath2 with japanese voice, and am now replaying it in korean text (has a vocabulary and is grammatically similar to japanese, and a language i can actually understand)! i also cross-check a lot of stuff with the original japanese text, so i did that for the banter you're mentioning just to make sure.

funnily enough, the japanese actually pushes it in the opposite direction... gil uses the english word "hot" in his speech, hence hikari's (and agnea's, initially) confusion at it since it isn't a word that exists in the japanese language. and as far as i can find, "hot" (the english loanword) doesn't have the same connotations as english of being "sexy". the sources i can find online list "new, trendy", "spicy or hot (food/drink)" and "intense" as definitions, but i can't find anything that matches the common english interpretation.

in gil's case, i would say he's either going for the "intense" or "popular, trendy" definition, and given that he treats agnea like a kid (literally calling her "kid" in english and "嬢ちゃん" in japanese, something like "little lady"), i don't think his intent was romantically or sexually charged when he used the word to refer to her.

(sources: weblio and goo)

now, you've probably seen that i'm biased against this ship as well so there's that to keep in mind but... yeah, in my opinion this was absolutely not supposed to be a romantic thing, and while i can't fully speak on the localization's decision to just keep the word "hot" as is, it bothers me that they either failed to realize or were trying to push the added connotation in english.

at the same time, i know a lot of english fans tend to not care about the original text at all and the localization is meant to work as a replacement for it if you don't know the original language, so i can't completely fault people for taking it that way... unfortunately i am a nitpicker and also a translation nerd and in this case i blame the english version for having that added nuance which did not help!

also i complained about this enough elsewhere but none of their later banters have any kind of interesting topic that tells you more about either of the characters so i don't even think this one works as a turning point for their relationship ...

but yeah anyway again, thanks for the ask! i don't always feel very comfy with analyzing japanese since i don't actually speak it, but unfortunately there isn't anyone else doing this kind of comparison so... i'm always happy to answer and look into it if anyone is curious about anything!!

#answered #anonymous #and i love rambly asks dw about it at all 🫶 #ship hate

[that-was-anticlimactic]

hai :3 kenji or ritsu?

kenji

first impression: ohhh gosh lucien dodge is his va... nothing against lucien dodge, he just voices m*hito so like... what will this kid be like... (i just have such an intense hatred for m*hito lol)

impression now: oH MY GOD HE IS LITERALLY THE BABIEST BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE IS SO SO SO SPECIAL TO ME I WOULD PROTECT HIM WITH MY LIFE GO BACK TO KENJI AND TECCHOU I WANNA SEE THEM wORKING TOGETHER TO FIND JOUNO OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE IS SO SPECIAL TO ME AND IS SUCH A COMPLEX CHARACTER I WISH HE GOT MORE SCREEN TIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

favorite moment: ijhgfcghjkoijhgf this is SO HARD bc like. they're all my favorite moments. ummm but i think i just really love the fight between kenji and tecchou and how kenji didn't even HESITATE to offer his help to tecchou and then when he went into rage mode??? oh my god CHILLS I LOVE HIM!!! and just his whole backstory GOD. i also love in s3 when he's with jun and yosano and they're heading into the pm headquarters and he's just getting HIT by SO MANY bullets and just goes "owowoowowo that really stings :(" oh bby boy you are so silly wAIT ALSO THE SCENE WHEN HE'S LIKE TELLING THEM THE STORY ABOUT THE TEN YEAR HARVEST!!! AND HOW HE GOT FOOD FOR EVERYONE BUT SAID HE COULDN'T EAT ANY OF IT BC OF HIS ABILITY :(

idea for a story: GOD I HAVE SO MANY??? most of my fics include kenji oops- anyways i want to write another 5+1 (ik... dangerous...) where it's like... 5 times kenji befriended an enemy (or someone who very much so is like "i'm not here to make friends") and one time they befriended him something like that just to like. explore how kenji makes friends and his inherent kindness and how impactful it is ough

unpopular opinion: he's a relevant character and should be in the show/manga more- ummm i mean... i think his ability is lowkey one of the most tragic and should be explored so much more? and i suppose it isn't fair to talk about abilities like who's is the most tragic bc that's not fair and you shouldn't compare, but his also just hits hard bc he's so YOUNG and i feel like people ignore his ability a lot bc he's the happy one and there are so many other characters we like more. also. kyouka and kenji are Not in love lol

favorite relationship: all of these are non-romantic! kenji and jun'ichiro!!! THEY ARE SIBLINGS!!! i demand that jun adopt kenji as his brother (and kyouka as his sister lol). but also kunikida and kenji bc there is NO WAY they would be like "okay kyouka is a child so she needs to room with someone but uhhh kenji yeah go live by yourself that's fine" especially when he's never really been around technology before and canonically doesn't really know how phones work super well (there's that lil drawing of fukuzawa showing him how to use the phone), so he lives with kunikida and they have a close bond bc of that <333 also kenji and tecchou for Obvious reasons lol

favorite headcanon: kenji with ts!!! if i have to have ts, so does kenji, sorry bby at least you aren't alone tho! i gave it to higuchi too!!! n e ways. also he has sleeping and eating troubles due to his ability and also that he lives with kunikida <333 oh and that he eats tomatoes and onions like apples <333

ritsu

first impression: oooooooough max mittelman is his va!!! haha what if ritsu is my favorite just for that? and then grace gave me a Look like do Not. and then grace telling me: "ritsu might be your favorite, he has an inferiority complex" and then it was suddenly. oh no.

impression now: i'VE BEEN REBORN AS A FOOL!!! BEST BOY!!! HE IS SO SILLY BUT DOESN'T KNOW IT!!! HE IS SO THIRTEEN!!! HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! HE HAS A MASSIVE GULIT COMPLEX AND BBY GURL THAT IS SO RELATABLE SOMEONE HUG HIM AND TELL HIM THAT IT'S OKAY AND THAT HE'S ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES AND NO ONE HATES HIM FOR IT!!! *TEARS MY HAIR OUT AND SCREAM* *CRIES OVER THE OFFICIAL ART OF RITSU WITH TWO SPOONS IN HIS POCKET*

favorite moment: i think we all know. the "suffering... and more suffering" or, as they say it in the stage play: "pain... deep pain". aka, the cactus scene!!! i lhave literally written analyses about that scene in both the manga, anime, and stage play. but like also "i've been reborn as a fool" and also "dimPLEEEEEEE IT WON'T BEND!!! ;-;" oh bby boy oh honey ilysm

idea for a story: i wanna write another oneshot about ritsu and gulit, but different from the other one i wrote. i kind of want to like... idk i have Such a good ritsu-fic title ("the tiniest life boat full of people i know") about him during the big clean-up arc. i also have a oneshot started that's about ritsu with ts and the incident that made him suppress to the point where no one actually knows that he Has ts until shige just offhandedly mentions it and everyone is ??? and then they intervene and are like bestie you are Hurting yourself... stop suppressing

unpopular opinion: lol i ship riteru more than ritshou although ritsu has grown on me more

favorite relationship: see this one is so unfair bc like... ritsu & shige bc complex sibling relationship, but then also ritsu & reigen bc they are actually super similar and despise each other for it, but then ritsu & teru bc like... look at they!!! they are so silly!!! and then ritsu & shou is also a great dynamic bc it's shou helping ritsu be more free and being super honest with him and ritsu helping shou deal with his emotions

favorite headcanon: ts ritsu!!! but also that ritsu has an immense guilt complex and that during and after the big clean-up, all he wanted was for someone to tell him that he was a bad person. and also he suppresses his tics hardcore to the point that nobody knows he has ts and also that he likes the sensation of falling🥰

#slava tag #hi slava~ sorry i'm have so many feelings about these two #i could go on for AGES #did yu know that. i love them. #thank you for indulging me!!! we have a snow day today so like i gots time tehe #i've also been up since like 5:30am and couldn't fall back asleep for Reasons so jihucfcgui #corey rambles:)