#and making a dynamic that i will never actually get to explore w someone else

[chernayavidua]

someone stop me from making someone very important in natasha's life an npc on here

#i am 👀 at this one fc but also.... i have 2 others in mind #srly stop me other wise i'll end up rping with myself #and making a dynamic that i will never actually get to explore w someone else #to be deleted.

[disruptivevoib]

HI eleutheromania anon again

not sure how to word my thoughts fully but so normal about whole. actually just eleutheromania whole and soul's entire dynamic infested my brain for days

it's just!!! so well written!!!! and i'm so normal about the two of them. it was nice 2 see an au about them because they make me sick /pos

question wise.. i dunno. any facts u want to say or anythinf about the au is cool really.,.,...,..

ermm. yea ill sign off

-🫀

I am glad you enjoyed it! Its the first fic I've written in a long time (probably been about 8 years?) but I wrote the whole thing actually in the notes app on my phone then edited and rewrote it on the computer. So that is one fun silly fact.

But in regards to the au...

It came about due to me splitting the concept for one au into two! Eleutheromania specifically also wound up focusing on HMS+W in way of self-destruction and sabotage.

Maybe if I can convince myself to write Eleutherophobia, the version from Whole's perspective which goes a bit into the post Eleutheromania stuff.. I could get more of the story out to sort of build on that.

The base fic ATM showcases it, but not to the entire extent of which.. both Whole and Soul are horrible, sure, but neither is really evil to me! They're both the same guy and a reflection of that same person who hates himself so much he was willing to destroy (in Whole's case) the last part of himself that held out hope, or loved himself.

A willing self sabotage, due to know knowing how to become comfortable with the person you are or will be. While its derivative in a way from the CCCC source material I always like exploring mental health themes so.. boom!

There is a repeating pattern of this destruction too. Eleutheromania to phobia to... what.. well.. I don't know what I'll call the one with Heart and Mind, if I even write it. But that's where a more positive resolution lies if I can focus on having the time!

Whole and Soul swap places once Soul takes control and from there its an interesting dynamic that develops, even more so between Soul, Heart and Mind.. because Soul did all of this for them initially, but after some time convinced himself they weren't real. Something about saving yourself and trying hard but winding up leaving the people you care about behind and becoming someone else when you lose your way.

Not that Soul became anyone else, he just did the one thing he knew how to do, which was reflect Whole.

It is also a point to say that Heart and Mind do not need Soul to agree to make Whole here. Their loop typically went that Soul was missing, they blamed one another for him leaving. He would show up once Heart was in the pit and Mind was trying to manage control, Soul would threaten them, they'd make-up and the end. But it never really meant that Calliope (Soul) had a say in all of it.

Interestingly, I guess, he was as much of a puppet as Mind and Heart. The only difference is he remembers and that's it!

#info dumps about my au to you #asks #voidthoughts #eleutheromania au #I think I dunno its probably my au with the most symbolism? #Sun Down I love a lot though still #And other aus do have a lot of symbolism to em but stuff like Swap and Sun Down aren't inherently built for it #call them more self indulgent with a lot of symbolism pertaining to the characters and much less whole or how the album does it

[tearueful]

Round 2. I'm obsessed w/ him so I cannot resist sending Noir

Also going to throw Butcher at you (You can do them in separate posts if you want)

These two I have a LOT LESS THOUGHTS about because they're not Homelander or my other 2 favs BUT:

Black Noir

Sexuality Headcanon: Post-brain damage? Asexual Gender Headcanon: Eh, I doubt Noir cares anymore so gender fluid A ship I have with said character: No one actually?? He's too removed from everyone to want to hold anyone's hand. The brain damage and muteness makes Noir feel like he'd pull away from everyone. Still, I'd love to see some Noir x Kimiko stuff for OBVIOUS reasons. A BROTP I have with said character: Noir and Homelander were besties as much as anyone can be with Homelander. Homelander looked up to Noir given that Noir looked out for him in the beginning. A NOTP I have with said character: Anything with Soldier Boy. FUCKING SOLDIER BOY. A random headcanon: Before the head trauma, Earving wanted that mask off but after that? The suit and mask became more of a security blanket, a means to hide the physical and mental trauma Soldier Boy inflicted on him. A blatant barrier between him and the rest of the world to keep him safe. General Opinion over said character: Wasted potential. They never utilized Black Noir enough beyond someone to be a silent threat. The dynamic between him and Homelander could have used more exploration. I'd love a spin off series about Payback to get more of Earving. (He a cutie~) The scene where he tries to distract the little boy with the plushie. 🥺

William "BIlly" Butcher

Sexuality Headcanon: The white cis het boy energy gives me psychic damage, but heteroflexible. Gender Headcanon: See above A ship I have with said character: Okay my SURPRISE fav? Hughie and Butcher, all because of ONE FANFIC that scratched ALL the proper itches. Subby Butcher? ACTUALLY YES, makes 300% sense. Butchlander is fine, but he's always an aggressive top and- Do you see this man? He wants his chin cupped tenderly while you tell him how good he's being for you. (I RECOGNIZE MY FELLOW SUBS, THANK YOU.) A BROTP I have with said character: MM, Frenchie, and Butcher. The OG Boys team. I love watching them. Hughie, Kimiko, Starlight's dynamic with Butcher, too. Okay, any of the Boys with Butcher. A NOTP I have with said character: ???? BIlly will fuck anyone. Just get him drunk first. A random headcanon: Fuck it. Butcher is a submissive in the bedroom. He's a brat type. He wants to be tamed. (He's just like me fr) He's a cocky little shit always in control and self-assured and let me tell you boys and girls, that man needs a safe space to put all his trust in someone else behind closed doors. He HAS A MIGHTLY NEED. (just like me frfr) He's a manic mess right now because he's not getting to let go of everything and hand control to someone else. Someone put a collar on his neck and maybe he'd calm down. General Opinion over said character: Hey it's Bones! I hate his beard. Hey, what the fuck do you mean he's suppose to be British!? BILLY STOP MAKING BAD DECISIONS. BILLY I FUCKING HATE YOU, BILLY I STG DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE. BILLY, NO! Butcher endlessly frustrates me with his stupid man pain and REVEENGGEEE need. Shut up and go to therapy, you stinky man.

#ask #The Boys #Black Noir #Billy Butcher

[battlemaiden13]

Hi maiden! i have a question regarding how you practice writing the way that you do. i like to imagine scenes in my head but i fail miserably to reflect that onto words (mainly for me, i can never have the motivation to publish anything 😭😭) and i really adore your writing style! Im wondering, do you lowkey find asks n stuff to be good practice material? especially w like more x rated stuff?

i tried making a short angst+smut imagine w syrup and my oc. The angst was passable but the smut💀 awkward, unorganized, repetitive just not at ALL what i had imagined but my vocab is very limited😭

i know that you also expressed that you don't have lots of experience in that area (if im not mistaken), but alll of your suggestive asked are so damn good!?? like HOWWW got me kicking my feet, giggling, twirling my hair and everything.

I want to write like you, help pls 🙏🏾🥹

This is so nice! Like especially because your right, full smut is not something I'm very confident with.

Imagines are 100% amazing practice for my writing even with the more spicier things. The first time I answered more suggestive ask I was defiantly shyer about it but through writing it more and more I've found I've gotten much better. I Also attempted my first full smut recently (It's on my AO3) and it is horrible!

It is so clunky and repetitive and the timing is off and the dynamic didn't come out exactly how I wanted and its there for the public to see and I'm so happy! Even though my first smut attempt has so much wrong with it, so much off about it, it was amazing practice. I learnt a lot. Plus no ones actually said anything about it. Like no negative or good comments on it but I took that to mean it wasn't the worst thing ever.

I think the thing I discovered the most is that you don't have to describe everything in a smut scene. like the build up and the suggestiveness is what makes it so hot and excited. I have a part in the next chapter of HND, it's 50 words at most and I think it's so fucking hot even if the context around it is angsty. Will anyone else think it is? Maybe like one other person and they won't mention it but I wrote it for me. Write for you! Suggest stuff for you and write smut as a way to explore different things. But like I don't think you need to describe what someones cock looks like or count the thrust to a certain beat. it's the build up, the sounds, the pacing!

You'd probably get sick of hearing practice makes perfect but it helps so much. Write small scenes that end just before the 'good stuff', practice describing the important things like an orgasm, find out what's important to you and what you find sexy and write that! Aftercare, dirty talk, bondage, praise doesn't matter. If you find it hot someone else will too but write for you first. PRACTICE

Also like read and take note of what you like about that authors writing. Like do you like mine because it's first person? because I describe things in a certain way? because of what I left out? Taking note of the things you like in others writing will also help you with yours. This also helps with vocab in those situations.

Anyway that was a bit of a rant I was just very excited to talk about writing. I am also so curious about this angst smut with Syrup! Like this whole ask and comments are really nice and I hope I've helped sort of?? No idea. If I haven't you could send in a snippet of the writing that you don't like and I could write it how I would, that could be fun practice. You said you don't have the motivation to publish your stuff so don't like send it all in or any of it if your nervous of it being on my page or anything but I would 100% practice rewrites or just show you how I would write something. that sounds fun and like good practice.

I'm sure your writing is better than you think it is too! Keep up the great work! and thank you for sending the ask in and letting me rant.

#housenextdoor #hnd #house next door #undertale #undertale imagines #writing #i should write for kinktober #to practice #that'll help me improve fast

[xekutozoren]

My version of Aquaroth/Sephqua (explanation rant)

Felt like explaining how I got into it. It's interesting how Tumblr seems to support it quite a bit but Pinterest is like ??? to it.

I guess I initially just wanted a character that wasn't really involved in the main KH story to appreciate Aqua for who she is and what she does. Aqua seems to give a lot to others to the point where she sacrifices her own ideals and herself. And the in-game characters don't do much for her imo.

I do still support Terraqua so it's Sephqua in a universe where Terra never ends up reciprocating her feelings. I can't deny how many times I got annoyed at Terra for not really showing he cares about Aqua like, at all.

And then KH3 happened and a lot of stuff in it made me annoyed too. Examples include no apologies happening between her and the Wayfinder trio, Ven not showing much appreciation for her, her getting tossed around after vamping her up and bringing her back, the game shifting the focus onto Riku when she was finally pouring out her feelings, Sora and Kairi not even remembering her etc. I get that a lot of these things could have happened offscreen/isn't really justified but it still made me feel the game just kind of abandoned her/treated her as a plot device.

After seeing some fanmade content about Sephqua I tried exploring it myself. I admit that I haven't actually played/watched FF7 so I really only know Sephiroth based off his wiki page and existing Sephqua content. My interpretation of him is also a bit loose and more working off his KH2 almost non-existent screen time as an excuse for doing what I want with his character. At this point he would be similar to his pre-Nibelheim self with a touch of snark. He sees visions sometimes of his canon-verse self but hasn't gone through all of that in this universe and is still capable of redemption. He's merely "the darkness of Cloud" as the KH verse called it, trying to find his purpose in my makeshift universe. His age would be more ambiguous to make the pairing work better (though Aqua being stuck down there for 12 years makes up for the difference anyway)

And one of the biggest things was ANGST COMFORT FOR AQUA'S PAIN.

I like the idea of him meeting her in the Realm of Darkness, intrigued why she refuses to give up despite no one seeming to really care about her, etc. At first, he'd just treat her as something to pass the time and not really care about her well-being but that changes eventually. >w> He is also drawn to her strength both physically and mentally.

I imagine she would be guarded towards him at first but eventually let her walls down a tinsy bit. But then she'd be furious with herself for going against Master Eraqus' ideologies and being worried what he might think of her being acquainted with someone who's full of darkness. But she eventually learns to go after what she wants, not what someone else expects of her. I like that dynamic of Sephiroth teaching her to be more selfish and her helping him find his light again.

In the AU, I'd like to see something play out that didn't in KH, which was Aqua being saved after the others. Though it wouldn't really make sense how they'd reach Ven first but it would be satisfying to see the other two do something for her for once. Sephiroth would be with her getting out of there and have to earn the trust of the keyblade gang/get over the fact that he's with warriors of light. His god complex eventually fades overtime as his feelings develop for her.

I like the idea of the two of them learning each other's vulnerabilities overtime as well as how to trust each other. It would be really interesting to see Aqua helping Sephiroth uncover the truth behind his biological parents too.

Sephiroth's need for comfort with the lack of a proper motherly figure and Aqua's need for someone to properly appreciate and acknowledge her. They love each other for who they are, not who they're expected to be.

Another big thing for me is how their interactions would go. I'm a simple woman and like banter in relationships. > w < Sephiroth would tease her a lot and Aqua would get embarrassed easily.

That and I notice Aqua likes physical affection like hand holding and head patting in the games so it would be nice to have someone like Sephiroth who I imagine would be more hands on with her.

Not sure if anything I wrote here made sense. I typed this up pretty late. Gonna leave it there with one more doodle.

Refs are from Positively Yours, hana and a username that I don't really want to type publicly ^^;

Thanks for reading my spam! ; A ;

#aquaroth #sephqua #kingdom hearts #final fantasy 7 #kh aqua #sephiroth #rant #all ze angst and banter I liek #idk I just ended up typing up all this stuff that ppl probably won't read #final fantasy #ffvii #ff7 #crack ship #sephiroth x aqua

[barsikscorner]

hello! i've seen your art a lot in the fang the sniper tag, so i finally decided to check out your blog, and i like it! i especially like the way you draw zero/infinite, making him taller and more broad-chested makes him look older and more imposing than he does in canon, which i think is a good thing - i also like how your versions of the characters have different body types in general, rather than everyone being built more or less the same

i'm also curious about a few things! i notice you tend to draw knuckles, rouge, nack, and zero together a lot - rouge and knuckles are already fairly close in canon, and nack shares a fairly similar profession to rouge so it makes sense that they'd meet at some point, but how did zero end up with the group? were there any issues with them getting together, considering two of them spent several months fighting a pretty devastating war against zero (albeit under a different name) and eggman?

AAA I'm so happy you like them thank you ;w;

And to answer your question… Yeah, they did not get along at first.

The war did have a bad impact on the two, especially Knuckles, who had to be the leader of the resistance and had to deal with the burden that came with it and he blames himself for the sacrifices that had to be made.

The three met him while treasure hunting and ended up fighting the Phantom Ruby. They ended up freeing Zero from the ruby by accident, not knowing he was trapped in there. But they didn't capture him. Seeing Zero all defeated and actually scared of the ruby stopped Knuckles from taking action because he's clearly had enough and it's dishonourable to fight someone who's down. And Rouge wanted to give him a chance, she's friends with Shadow after all. The jackal ended up living at her place because he had nowhere else to go. Nack never encountered him as Infinite, but he potentially could have known him and his squad (I haven't made up my mind about it yet) The team definitely started of very dysfunctional since all 4 are pretty confrontational, but they ended up getting closer over time, bonding over similar experiences, hobbies, etc. They all have way more in common than they could possibly imagine. I wanna make something with them in the future, but for now I just draw random stuff with them exploring their dynamics and just having fun, I like them a lot :3 ᴬˡˢᵒ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵃᵏᶦⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᵈʳᵃʷᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶠʰᵗʰᶠᵗʰᶠᵗ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃˢᵏ ᴵ ʰᵃᵈ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵐᵃᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ

#ask #sonic the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #rouge the bat #fang the sniper #nack the weasel #infinite the jackal #zero the jackal #sonic art #my art #sth

[ofgentleresolve]

☀ + topic idea ( feel free to answer all, some, or none of these !! : D ) . . . collaboration in rp as a topic! some specific questions on it: I know you do a lot of world-building and have so many ideas for your characters that aren’t necessarily tied to rp… how do you balance being a collaborative and open rp partner, with making sure you maintain the integrity of your characters and your own ideas? is that a compromise you sometimes have to make, or is it never an issue for you?

and a more simple/crack-y q: have you or would you ever do other forms of roleplay, such as DnD and/or LARPing events??

winter enables my rambling :3 ( ask me anything about rp meme w/ @velvetineblue )

send a ☀ along with a roleplay related topic to hear my thoughts on it. Ask me anything!

WINTER!! that's an excellent question ( although you always ask thoughtful questions in mi opinion <3

. . . collaboration in rp as a topic! some specific questions on it: I know you do a lot of world-building and have so many ideas for your characters that aren’t necessarily tied to rp… how do you balance being a collaborative and open rp partner, with making sure you maintain the integrity of your characters and your own ideas? is that a compromise you sometimes have to make, or is it never an issue for you?

so when i started here again, one thing i decided early on to focus on alongside threads is world building ( ie in some cases that's really just character development ). because rp requires a lot of patience and sometimes people's schedules don't line up/one party has more free time, it helps for me to have something i can work on independently/pour my creative energies into while waiting for replies and plotting messages.

as for balance tho!! it's not really an issue for me mostly because ( and i don't recommend doing this actually sjflksdjf ) for all I say that i love plotting with people, i'm actually very selective with who i plot with in depth. of course basic plotting, i don't mind doing with newcomers, but generally if we're talking in-depth, i usually like to observe either a. how our writing mesh, b. how they run their blog, or c. how they act ooc wise in conversation and on dash before really starting to plot in depth. with these factors in mind, i can usually figure out if how well we'll get along. at first, i'll let them have say, a more surface level connection with my muse that way if i don't think we won't work as well together, i won't be too attached to the dynamic...( the exceptions of course are the ones who jump into in depth plotting from the beginning and in those cases, their energy can be infectious <3 )

if i think it's a good match tho, that's when i let my partner participate on a deeper level in my character's lore, enough to let that affect my character in a crucial manner. at that point, that's when i know they are actually interested in my characters and would want me to play them true to who they are rather than what they and their characters alone will get out of the connection. i think it also helps that a lot of the dynamics i have plotted with muses who play significant roles in my muses' lives they are inherently positive....if there are any topics/dynamics that i think are intense or more on the negative side, i'm more inclined to make my own npc/use my own muses ( ex. felicity in patrick's thg verse, that's where i explore what it means to be a victor ) instead of with someone else's muse to explore that.

that and most if not all of my muses tend to be more on the agreeable/cooperative side so they're inclined to be pleasant/not too extreme with other people ic i think i'm just lucky like that jfklsdjflskdjf also i do make sure that any actions that are taken by my muse, i try to make sure it's a response that doesn't overstep personal boundaries/i have an ooc conversation beforehand if it can veer into that territory....but finally! if it feels like in a thread the other mun seems upset that my muse was a tad more unpleasant than they wanted them to be....i usually drop the thread :/

and a more simple/crack-y q: have you or would you ever do other forms of roleplay, such as DnD and/or LARPing events??

probably not and not necessarily because I'm not interested, but because i know i would be the WORST at it....unfortunately, i'm really really bad at acting/doing accents even if it is among friends 😂 there's just like?? a barrier that i can't quite get past...this is probably why i do so well with tumblr rp since i feel more comfortable with letting loose in my writing rather than in person :'D

#velvetineblue #( answered. ) #( about ferre. ) #hahahaha hope that made sense?? #but also u can ignore if it didn't make sense #:'DDDD i think this time around i mostly got lucky with who i ended up around <3

[another-dra-anew]

Higa (- definitely someone you don't know yes yes)

I GENUINELY HOPE CANON HIGA EXPLODES I NEED TO PUT THIS DISCLAIMER UP. AAAA

anyways. nothing i can think to cw for/have been asked to cw for iirc? mentions of higas favorite hobby (committing hate crimes) but that’s abt all.

- My identity hc for them

homophobic homosexual. there’s nothing more to say- wait. sorry. he took the wrong red pill noooo higa no!!! okay now there’s nothing else to say

- Thoughts on their home life/family

now we start the fun game of how do i chat about my kids without spoiling things… ya know. okay. i think his paternal grandparents are actually p chill they’re just not even remotely involved bc they live vv far away. they’re a bit upset with tatsunori for never updating them. higa used to send them tickets to all his Big games but then he overheard them joking with tatsunori about how they were always traveling home just to travel back out again. so. he doesn’t send them tickets as often now

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

i think in a lot of early posts i wasn’t confident enough in my writing to make higa more of… a actual Issue? he was kinda just a dick who got shut down quick by everyone. so i need to go back and fix that. need to show his actions are like. Very Bad, and he def faces consequences.

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

uhh. well. u see. im kinda writing beta so. the only thing i can really think of is like… making canon “if (x) had happened to higa instead of (y), then he would’ve turned out like (z)”, since i can’t reallyyy… get into backstory changes like that? 

- My number one favorite ship for them

i think non despair red pill is fun!! (specify non despair because the kg isn’t really the best time for higas personal growth, which is smthn red pill kinda hinges on)- SORRY PEOPLE WHO ARENT IN THE SERVER? i don’t remember if this joke has breached contamination or not. red pill is yamaguchi/higa. 

especially in non despair (since side stepping away from others isn’t really a option in the game + kinda makes people feel homicidal), they both wind up kinda isolated/on the fringes of group interactions because they’re not just. abrasive but they say shit that actually feeds into negative stereotypes. so people r a bit. steps away from them. so should they both get the chance to grow and change they can bond over how hard it is to try and integrate into a group u were excluded from because of like. ur own decisions hurting people in the group. 

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

higa keeps hate criming people it’s kinda. hard to ship him with people. that being said i think it’s silly to say he has a bit of a crush on maeda. cuz i promise u all maeda, at best, is 😐 at higa. i don’t ship them together but i think the idea of higa having a crush on maeda is funny. it’s definitely not canon tho i don’t write beta with that in mind

- The thing i will NEVER ship

see above. god damn it higa. (not that u can’t hurt people and genuinely change and grow. but like. yeah i think a lot of those ships have kinda sunk). 

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

hmmmmm…. i’d honestly like to talk more about kobas feelings on higa? specifically within the context of the game where it’s like. obviously koba doesn’t want higa to FUCKING DIE but while he understands the situation and knows if he felt uncomfortable or unsafe, he could say so and higa would get booted out. i think he’s just not very happy with the fact that they have to tip toe around higas general evil-ness so that he doesnt go off the rails and like. try to work with monokuma. he’s choosing so much mercy and so much emotional maturity. and that’s what sucks about being confined to one pov character!!!

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

maybe if i stopped giving higa fits that are so easy to clown on, he’d leave his villain era. hm. anyways!! lol sweater vest lol. i do genuinely like his design (been gently working on kobas fit recently and giving them more distinctive color palettes, so that’s fun), buuut yeah! tbh i don’t see it changing i don’t know where i’d go from here. i think it works v well ! :D

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

had to Hunt to find one. but animal - sir chloe makes me think like. a song higa would listen to, then close out of halfway through and never listen to it again but be haunted by the Thoughts it made him Think. im not good at interpreting songs the way they’re meant to be interpreted. :(. sorry to everyone behind sir chloe. 

#higa mitsuhiro #ask meme

[scattered-winter]

respectfully requesting newt from maze runner for the character meme !!

bro you've Awakened Something in me it's been far too long since I've talked about my boy my babygirl my blorbo

favorite thing about him

his selflessness!!! throughout all the events of the series (both the books AND the movies) he's consistently putting everyone else's needs before his own. he was one of the leaders of the Glade, which meant he worked day and night to keep the order and safety there. and outside the Glade, he pulled his own weight and even put himself in danger to protect the others on several occasions (saving Minho from the lightning storm is what immediately comes to mind but I know there's a lot more). and even in the death cure, when the flare is taking over and he can feel himself changing, he still stays focused and doesn't let that distract him or anyone else from the end goal. to me it's just....heartbreaking, really. he suffered in silence because he didn't want his friends to grieve him while he was still standing there, and so he had to deal with slowly losing his mind by himself

least favorite thing about him

his SELFLESSNESS

listen I can love and hate the same thing about a guy

the fact that he was so focused on the group's survival just added so much more angst to the story and it causes me PAINNNN. like!! in the movies specifically, they were SO CLOSE to giving him the cure!!!!!!!!! they were so achingly close!!!!!!!! but he'd been fighting the virus for so long and it finally took over and he died only moments before the cure arrived. I'm fukcijgn

favorite line

"great, we're all bloody inspired"

brOTP

Minho and Newt are BESTIES ok. they're besties. I cry about them every day. they're besties

same with Alby and Newt they were! leaders together! and neither of them made it out! I'm unwell!

actually on that same note. I think Minho was the oldest Glader to have made it out alive. all his friends and mentors who came before him are dead. I'm so fucking emo right now

honestly I love all of Newt's canon friendships! his friendship with Thomas is GREAT his friendship with the other Gladers is GREAT

nOTP

meh nothing really....strikes me as a nOTP tbh. in fact I don't really actively ship anyone in this series! usually when I hard-core ship something, it's because I felt unsatisfied with the media/felt like it's an interesting dynamic to be explored. I was fairly satisfied with the series as a whole and I felt like the overall point of them was complete without romance, and to add a lot of romance (excluding the thomas/teresa thomas/brenda stuff that was already there) would have just....blocked out the horror and morally gray themes, ya know? so idk I don't really have strong feelings about any romantic pairings in this specific piece of media

in fact, I saw someone point out that it would've been a stronger and more potent narrative if Thomas and Teresa were SIBLINGS instead of romantic partners and tbh that hasn't left my brain because they're RIGHT. it would've been soooo compelling ughh I'm going insane just thinking about the parallels here

OTP

all that being said, it's kinda fun to play with the narratives a bit :] most of the fic I intend to write in this fandom is friendship/family based, because of my feelings as stated above, but I'm not immune to the newtmas or minewt here <3 there's just something about two best friends who have been through hell and worse together getting to kiss <3

random headcanon

Newt actually left notes for EVERYONE, not just Thomas. he even left one with Thomas intended for Teresa, despite everything she'd done, but ofc she never got the chance to read it so Thomas just kept it in a pocket by his heart. and maybe one day, years later, after he finally found some semblance of peace and healing, he burned it to ash to finally say goodbye to them both

unpopular opinion

listen I love Newt but the fandom has a tendency to shove Minho aside to make room for him (especially hardcore newtmas shippers) which is... :/ let's all examine why that might be !

song I associate with him

Doom Days by Bastille. warning: you will cry.

favorite picture of him

hair floof <3 he's so blorbo shaped here idk

send me a character!

#bro youve opened up the well now im wailing about how fucking tragic these books are #ughhghh UNWELLLLL #asks #newt #the maze runner #dauntingday

[sketchesandnonesense]

God I hate seeing pr o s h i p posts so much. Bc like. All the ones that get popular have the nuance of an unbaked potato.

Like.

if someone writes a story where bad stuff happens like pedophilia n shit, and it's v obviously not romanticized

im uncomfortable, but whatever. Not my thing, I'm gonna move right along.

If it's romanticized and "shipped", then im stealing shit from your house.

Ships are meant to be "i ENJOY seeing this happen and these characters together"

n if you try n say otherwise you don't know fandom shit or you're twisting words because it's what's nifty. Ships are something you enjoy seeing to the extent you're giving it a lil name or some shit so you can find MORE. that is the point. that's how it's always been. I've been in fandom for far too fuckin' long n never seen it used otherwise.

And it's fucking creepy if it's a ship w/ a minor and an adult. Drawing romanticized ship art n writing fic where it's totally normal and okay and there's none of the moral and ethical issues is gross.

That kinda shit is what led me to being groomed twice n almost taken advantage of. Because my teenage ass would see that shit and think "oh well it's fine if they understand eachother soooo well and they REALLY love eachother"

like.

Yeah yeah dont censor yourself for kids or whatever but also like.

if VNs in the yandere boyfriend genre can put disclaimers that they contain shit typical of the genre you can put a disclaimer on your trash ship shit lmao

I'm not gonna send anyone hate over it bc fuckin'. I just do not care enough. But I am gonna avoid you and send only the most rancid vibes your way. I will feel nothing if I hear you fell down a manhole.

this kinda shit just fuckin pisses me off so bad lmao.

One of those things that makes me actually violently mad because so many pr sh people are like. SO fuckin high horse-y like "haha im so cool and unique bc im PrObLeMaTiC lmao get triggered snowflakes <3 ur a stupid idiot if ur uncomfortable fiction doesn't affect reality sweaty <3 even if u mention how ur life was actively harmed by this kind of thing idc <3 me jacking off to underage characters is more important than anything else <3"

like

"lookit me im so ACCEPTING and MORALLY SUPERIOR than these PURITANS"

when like.

the "puritans" are just "hey can you not be weird about underage characters n shipping them w/ adults?"

like. do your kink shit. Do your questionable relationship dynamics between grown adults. explore darker subjects. just don't romanticize adults fucking minors.

the bar is in hell but some people love to play fuckin limbo

#no reblogs and typed it funny to avoid The Discourse #I do not give a Shit #'oh it's a coping mechanism' then keep it to yourself #theres lotsa dumb arguments n im exhausted #do you i guess but if people dont wanna be near you dont get fuckin' surprised

[babesonly]

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

--

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

Or

An ethics lesson from Hell

Or

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

--

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

--

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

[blu-joons]

DATING SHINee A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Taemin

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Taemin isn’t someone who can talk a lot about his feelings, so he’ll often let his affection do the talking. You can often tell a lot about how he’s feeling just by the way that he holds you or if he decides to give you a bit of space.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

The two of you met through mutual friends as the introverts at the party. Whilst everyone else was loud and boisterous, the two of you tended to just take a seat at the back and watch the others. Throughout the night, you bonded about how much quieter the two of you were, and soon a strong friendship formed between you both.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

A lot of work went into Taemin’s confession, he had a good talk with the other members before confessing to you so that they could give him plenty of advice. They knew he wasn’t as good a talker as some of the others, so they gave him the chance to have a bit of practice. When it finally came to confessing to you, Taemin was incredibly nervous, he didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing and end up screwing things up. Luckily for him, and you though, everything went perfectly, and his confession was smooth.

D ⇴ DATES

Taemin spent a lot of time working on his solo stuff when he wasn’t with SHInee or SuperM, so your dates were usually quite limited. He tended to invite you to the studio for dates, even it just meant that the two of you had an hour together. Taemin loved to sit you down and show you what he was working on, even giving you a few spoilers if he wanted to. You’d usually end up sticking around whilst he continued to work, just to keep him company, tending to fall asleep and leave him to wake you whenever he was done.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

He wasn’t blind to what being in a relationship as an idol meant, he learnt a lot from filming We Got Married that he really put into practice with you. He was very protective of you and wanted to make sure that he kept you safe, he’d seen too many of his friends have their relationships destroyed to allow for the same to happen to the two of you. Whilst he had never experienced a relationship in the limelight himself before, he worked hard to learn from others, so he knew exactly what to do when the time came for him.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

When the two of you argued, Taemin would get very quiet. He wasn’t someone who shouted or raised his voice, in fact, he tended to do the complete opposite and just let you offload on him. If he really feels like he has to stand his ground though, he will. Petty arguments really aren’t his thing, if he thinks you’re being ridiculous or overdramatic, he won’t be afraid to tell you and encourage you to rethink what you’re trying to cause an argument about. He’s not one for games, and even when the two of you argue, he won’t allow himself to be messed around or bashed when he knows that he’s done nothing wrong.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Finding the time in amongst his schedule to meet his family was almost impossible, so you tended to bond over calls whenever Taemin rang. They loved getting to know you and seeing the dynamic that the two of you had built up together, but best of all, they loved being able to see Taemin’s huge smile with you.

H ⇴ HOME

It didn’t take long for Taemin to encourage you to move into his home. He was like an excitable kid when he started dating you, he wanted you around as much as possible, the perfect relationship. The first morning he woke up without you tore him apart, and he knew that wasn’t something he wanted to go back to now that he had you.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

The first ‘I love you,’ actually came from Taemin in one of his songs. When he told you that he’d dedicated a song to you, you were definitely a little surprised, but as you listened to the lyrics, those three special words were the last of the song. You asked him about it straight away, thinking that you’d misheard, only for him to tell you once again that he loved you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

If someone was causing him to get jealous, Taemin wasn’t afraid to call whoever the person was out on it. Again, he doesn’t play games, and he won’t stand back and let someone get too close to your or allow someone to try and wind him up. It often surprises you when he gets into one of his jealous moods as he’ll become quite sharp and blunt until whoever is causing the problem has got the hint that they’re not welcome. It definitely brings a smile to your face seeing just possessive he can get of you at times.

K ⇴ KIDS

Just the thought of settling down with you forever was enough to put a smile on Taemin’s face, he knew there was no one else that he wanted to spend forever with. It wasn’t just kids that he imagined with you, he often found himself thinking about how the two of you would grow old together and where you’d live, even as far as where his career would end up with you and your young family supporting him.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Any day with Taemin is bound to put a smile on your face, he is the embodiment of chaos. He’s clumsy and messy, but somehow you wouldn’t have him any other way. He’ll often hear you sniggering at him when he bumps his hip against a table or accidentally knocks over the glass that he’s drinking from. As much as it hurts, knowing that it’s put a smile on your face will make the pain much more bearable for him, even if he will attack your sides afterwards for ever laughing at him when he clumsily falls.

M ⇴ MISSING

Being away from you is hard on Taemin, it was something he thought would get easier, but actually, it only ever got harder for him. He was away a lot on several different promotions, and as much as he’d try and have you there with him, it wasn’t always possible. When he was away, he’d arrange date nights for the two of you at least once a week, he’d pick a time that worked with both of your time zones so that the two of you could sit and have a call without any disturbances. It was the only thing that kept his mind focussed, having just a short amount of time with you was very precious when he was away from home.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

He loved to just call you ‘love,’ he loved the traditionalism of the word and the smile it always put on your face. For you, he’d often either be ‘tae,’ or ‘min,’ if you ever called him by his full name then he was in trouble.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Taemin is obsessed with your hands, he loves to be able to either hold your hand or feel your hand tracing around his body and exploring his toned physique.

P ⇴ PDA

If there’s one thing that is a big no for Taemin, it’s public affection. He’s quite quiet and reserved at the best of times, but that is especially the case when it comes to your relationship, he will hate for anyone to have their attention on you, he likes to keep the two of you as private as possible and out of the limelight.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

You’ll often be the one asking questions, as Taemin loves to daydream. You’ll wave your hand in front of his face often to bring him back into reality, and when you ask him what he was dreaming about, he’ll never remember.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Because you spent so much time at the studio with Taemin, he ended up having a whole drawer in his desk dedicated to you. It had hairbands, toothbrushes, cutlery, everything that you could ever need inside. Whenever you complained that you needed a tissue or some balm, all Taemin had to do was pull the drawer back and reach inside, and then whatever it was that you wanted would coincidentally appear in front of you.

S ⇴ SEX

He’s very much a passionate guy, he loves the heat of the moment and the intimacy that comes with being so close together. He’s not good with words, so he uses this time a lot to physically be able to prove to you how much he loves you. He always takes the best care of you, and Taemin is definitely the king of after care, he’ll cuddle you tightly and always make sure that you’re comfortable and got what you need.

T ⇴ TEXTS

When he’s away especially, he relies on texts a lot. He’ll often send you updates on what he’s doing throughout his day and will expect the same from you too so he can feel like he’s at home alongside you.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

The best thing about being in a relationship with you, for Taemin, was that he always had someone beside him. Whilst he had plenty of people around him, at a distance, you were the one that he let all the way in.

V ⇴ VACATION

If he ever got the chance to go on holiday, he’d definitely make the most of it. Somewhere hot, and somewhere quiet was all that Taemin wanted. He loved to just be able to sit back and relax you for a short while without anyone ringing his phone or anyone at the office demanding that he head down as soon as possible.

W ⇴ WHINING

You’d usually only ever hear Taemin groan when he broke something, he’d cry out in frustration which would only end up making you laugh loudly.

X ⇴ XXXXX

Taemin knew that you were a big fan of his lips, and he would definitely use that to his advantage. If he wanted something from you, he’d use his lips to get what he wanted from you. He’d often come up behind you and press his lips against your cheek, murmuring in your ear exactly what he wanted. As much as you hated that he could push your buttons with his lips, you never turned down a kiss that came from Taemin.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his soulmate, the person that he held closest to his heart.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He would always be incredibly cuddly when the two of you slept, he loved to have you close. His favourite feeling when he fell asleep was when you’d run your hands through his hair and tug gently through the knots.

---

Masterlist

#shinee #shinee imagine #taemin #taemin imagine #lee taemin #lee taemin imagine #superm #superm imagine #shinee scenario #shinee reaction #shinee taemin #superm taemin #shinee drabble #shinee one shot #shinee fluff #taemin scenario #taemin reaction #taemin one shot #taemin drabble #taemin fluff #kpop #kpop imagine

[windsource]

I love sam ok, I do. But sometimes I wish he tried to understand dean a bit more. Dean loved sam more than anything, because sam was given to him to raise. Literally dean’s entire identity growing up was sam’s protector. & sam just comes off as insensitive about it, especially in the beginning. In the pilot, he talked about how john gave him a gun at 9, & he wasn’t given a normal childhood. But dean was the only reason sam held that gun at 9 & not before. (1)

He’s the only reason sam even had a smidgeon of a childhood. By giving up his own to play mom dad n guardian. Not to say that sam was undeserving of that love, or that he should’ve loved dean more, because their love for each other was unhealthy because of all the codependency. But more like dean deserved to be loved as much as dean loved sam. Maybe that’s why I loved destiel (platonic or romantic). (2)

Because for once, there was someone who loved dean as much as he loved other people. Who loved him the way he deserved: wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Selfishly yet selflessly. & with it, came the chance for dean to learn to love another without the burden of responsibility. He loved cas that much without expectation, without being ordered, or blood relations. Cas was the family he chose (3)

-

sometimes i wonder if i should just let people submit posts to me but anyway you’ve got a point, although i think sam could never truly understand what dean went through to raise him, because he never had to go through that himself. i think that skewed perspective is actually quite realistic, even if we don’t necessarily like it, because it makes sam who he is. that’s not to say sam didn’t become more understanding or sympathetic of dean through the years, because he did, but you’re right and it would have been nice to see sam somehow being placed in dean’s shoes for even, like, one (1) day. 

i also think this is part of why dean’s relationship with cas is so different from sam’s friendship with cas...like, dean and cas share that understanding of having a commanding parent who expected them to care for someone else/other people more than they cared for themselves. there’s shared trauma, there, and a shared sense of being a soldier (which has been referenced multiple times w/i canon) which i think adds to their dynamic, whereas sam and cas aren’t explored nearly as much, because i think that--even though they are also best friends--sam can’t even get an inkling as to what cas has lived through with the expectations of God on his shoulders and constantly following orders. sam never had to go through that, and obviously held high expectations when he first found out angels were real and just...his perception of cas, at the beginning, was totally skewed. 

“profound bond” really hits different with almost any angle you take, but by comparing it to sam and cas’ relationship it’s like a whole other level entirely

#ely answers #spn #destiel #supernatural

[dukethomas]

🔥 + duke thomas :+D

dee my bestie ty for asking me abt duke!! <333333 now i'm not sure if these are necessarily UNPOPULAR opinions but my god duke is the first char i've read all the way through for so i am having some opinions

okay uhhh first: fanon duke is racist, full-stop, and that's when fanon stans bother to include him at all. he debuted several years ago!! he started being a core part of the batfam specifically in rebirth, five years ago!! he's part of the family, jfc, and no he's not the normie sane one, and no not knowing how to write/draw duke is not an excuse for his exclusion. the dc wiki exists. reading recs exist! duke's first solo, batman and the signal, is literally only 3 issues long! pirating comics is easy as fuck!

next: he was a robin!! we are robin was not made of conventional, batman-sanctioned robins. that's the point. those kids made robin their own, and even if they moved on (hoo boy i've also got thoughts abt we are robin in rebirth and onwards despite their minimal appearances) they were robin. they chose to be there for their city, they chose to stand up and fight, and imo if you consider the kids from the we are robin movement not really robins you're missing the whole damn point

also, i think duke should have had a much bigger role in the batfam in rebirth, like i know rebirth was going back to the roots, but also. i feel like he's kind of thematically set up as being part of the next generation of heroes, he's the future of the batfam, and i absolutely fucking adore that angle for him. literally it's so perfect??? he's "something new" but still rooted in the very same determination to fight and hope for a better future that bruce was (and still should be) motivated by from the very beginning. if rebirth was supposed to make it easier for new readers while still being recognizable for old fans? come on. it would have been so interesting to explore in a lot more depth how duke interacts w the batfam and gotham and what that means for their future (which isn't to say i don't like the appearances duke has in rebirth onwards. i do) (and also. bruce consistently treats duke well as compared to literally anyone else lmao and i do enjoy that dynamic and i would like to have seen more of bruce training and mentoring duke to be the future of the batfam)

that in mind, duke is not a good fit for the outsiders. i love his dynamics with cass, jeff, and tatsu, his appearance in future state outsiders was SO fun and so fitting i could cry, and i am hyped for what brandon thomas is going to do with duke in the upcoming outsiders series(?) because he is a FANTASTIC writer for duke who really lets him shine and clearly respects him and loves him, but. duke's whole thing is literally being a new hero in the day, someone visible in the light, and the outsiders are supposed to be on the fringe, literally outsiders, and a team not rlly meant to be in the public eye (from what i understand) so with the direction duke took in batman and the signal that is the opposite of what duke is meant to be. i def enjoy him on teams, but this ain't it. that said i do like that duke being on the outsiders means connections to the wider non-gotham dc universe and also consistent duke appearances is something i will always appreciate

last opinion bc this is getting long—i've got many thoughts on batman secret files the signal, one of them is that i think having a cure for joker toxin being right there is too cheap. like sure you can play the cat and mouse game with it but after a while? that'll get repetitive and boring. a few more options. duke gets his hands on the cure, but there's a catch. or duke never gets his hands on the cure, it disappears forever. or duke does get his hands on the cure, and it works. i think the first and last options would be the most interesting to explore going forward, but i'm also just. attached to the tragedy of his story, knowing his parents are alive but they may never get better but also hoping they will. and with how little that's been explored (not mentioned or referenced or seen, explored. which hasn't been done since all-star batman i think) and also with comics being an ongoing medium i do think bringing in the cure this early is a little cheap and also too soon too fast

actual last opinion duke is the best i love him so bad i will not be taking criticism <3

#ask #dee tag #this is actually not everything i have to talk abt but i am trying to keep it short. and i am failing #crys writes meta #<- adding this on bc i'm making this a tag now. and what is a long post of rambling if not meta

[huniebunny]

Hi! I just followed and I realized your matchups are open may I please have a a creepypasta matchup only when you have time of course! :)

♡ My name is chavella but I like the nickname CC or koi!

♡ i am 18 years old

♡ my sexuality is bisexual but im not sure because I actually think im demisexual (sexuality is so confusing but fun to explore LOL)

♡ im nonbinary

♡ i have brown hair with bangs, my hairstyle is a wolfcut, I luv it so much.

My eye color is hazel but it has a dark brown at first, my hair was dirty blonde but it turned dark brown ;w;

♡ my outfits and appearance consistent of many different things, i mostly wear video game t-shirts when im out but when im going somewhere to eat i dress more gothic, I also wear rings and jewelry with my outfits! I change my outfits alot though it depends on my mood lolz

♡ my personality is usually chill iove helping others and I talk to those who.are close to me, though it takes me awhile to open up towards others im pretty stubborn as well, im ambiverted too.

♡ when I get angry oh jeez its like a fire you can't put out i hate being angry though it makes me feel bad and want to apologize for everything, like sometimes I say things I don't mean then the guilt happens like ughhh its complicated for me im too blunt to say certain things

♡ when im sad or low on energy I sometimes sleep alot or I listen to music all day, feeling more unmotivated like I did. Sometimes I need someone to bother me since I bother everyone else sometimes

♡ I make alot of jokes, I dont care if its bad puns or not ill still laugh at them, and yes I make memes to cope with pain

♡ im not really experienced with relationships i had very bad ones in the past so im just awkward all the time until I get comfortable

♡ my love language is quality time and giving gifts!

♡ I play alot of video games like the retro ones but new games are really cool too.

I like to listen to anykind of music, I live for music basically.

♡ I like to learn new things and experience outside of the world like traveling, I want to go to Paris someday it'll make me very happy! I also love to read books when I have time and maybe do gardening as well

♡ my favorite colors are maroon, dark pink, forest green, dark purple and plain black

♡ i love animals especially cats & bunnies!

♡ ermmm thats all I can think of for now but if you need anymore info let me know! :DD

You’re Matched With…

Ben Drowned!!!

What's your relationship to them?

Lover | Friend | Family | Acquaintance | Annoyance | Rival | Enemy

How did you meet?

Ben was just fucking around with a few random computers when he noticed one of your playlists popped up. He peeked in your room through your device and saw you laid across your bed. He grinned and changed the song to one of his favorites, watching as you turned over in confusion to change it back. This happened a few more times before he popped out to introduce himself.

First impressions?

He peeks through your device often to watch you live your life. He likes your style, especially the retro game t-shirts.

General Dynamic:

It actually takes a while for Ben to really talk to you after that first meeting. But he often fucks around with your devices to rile you up.

Whenever you say something you didn’t mean and realize it was him, he pops his head out laughing and grinning because he loves fucking with you.

You never have to worry about being mad around him; he can take whatever you got like a champ.

During one time of digging through your files, he finds that you wanted to travel around. So he zips through to Paris and nabs a souvenir that he leaves on your bedside table. Through, totally legit means, yeah….

Every so often, he leaves a little message on your device to remind you to at least take care of yourself on your low-bones days.

Whenever he has more free time than usual, he spends it with you, playing the newest games (that he still got through legitimate means, thank you) as well as old ones that he used to enjoy.

He still plays one of his favorites on your playlist, but smiles to himself when he finds that you just listen to it instead of changing the song back.

TMI:

When he had the first signs of love towards you, he didn’t know what was going on. He checked for viruses or if he was his version of “sick”, but none of it. You just make him incredibly flustered.

He couldn’t just confront you about it. You’d try to “help” and he was pretty sure that would only make things worse.

He accidentally let it slip when he watched you rage at a level you were stuck on. His face went both red and green in his embarrassment and humiliation and hid away in your device to avoid answering you.

After you both settled on a casual, but exclusive relationship, he eventually got back to normal. He liked being around you, and a change in dynamics isn’t going to stop that just yet.

But, now he peeked into your room for ultimately new reasons now. After all, as your boyfriend, he should get some special benefits of having access to your devices.

He manages to convince Puppeteer to enchant a plushie of your favorite fictional animal and he leaves it on your bed for you to find later.

Other notes:

Ben is such a tease, but he loves you regardless! He’s absolutely willing to spoil you with gifts and spend as much time as he could with you.

#hunie speaks #matchups #creepypasta matchups #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader

[squadrablog]

ok I've joined the Ghiaccio hype train, could I request a Ghiaccio fic with a reader who doesn't like sudden loud noises and will definitely cry if you yell at them? they're really intimidated by Ghiaccio but they're comfortable with the rest of La Squadra, so he's struggling to be a good team member to someone who's always nervous around him. feel free to make it romantic or platonic, your writing is amazing!! 💕💕

Here you are! With the stuff I ended up focusing on I thought that shoehorning a romance in would feel weird, so I focused more on exploring the beginnings of a platonic friendship with him. Lots of awkward Ghiaccio and miscommunication but it all ends up good. :^)

Ghiaccio & Reader (platonic, gender neutral)

Ao3 Mirror Here.

Word Count: 3921

Warnings: Reader has childhood trauma w/ loud noises, not gone into in depth. Assassination job implied but doesn’t happen in text.

Under cut for length!

The last thing you saw yourself doing with your life was becoming an assassin, but here you were. You were a tough kid, scrappy and resourceful when it came down to it, but only because you had to be to get by. You always thought you’d eventually leave that old life behind. The gunshots echoing into the night from rival mafias squaring off to claim the neighborhood you lived in as their territory. The shouts from the man who took you in when you had nowhere else to go, only to berate you when you failed to pick enough pockets to meet his quotas. The way the older and meaner children would torment you, taunt and deride you, whenever you let your vulnerability show.

And you had, more or less, left those parts of it behind at least. When you joined Passione as a last ditch effort to survive you were given a sense of stability that you had never had before, and after initiation when your stand manifested as something powerful and deadly, it didn’t take too long for you to get placed into La Squadra di Esecuzione, Passione’s team of elite assassins. 

As a stand user working with other stand users you rarely relied on guns to get your work done. You were no longer struggling to get by, and although your new Capo held his team to high standards he made sure you had ample training and was patient with you while you were still getting your footing. All your teammates were surprisingly supportive; even if they were wary of outsiders, when it came to their own family they looked out for each other.

It was a dangerous life, not without its own anxieties, but it was a much quieter life. It was a life in the shadows, with a roof over your head, with work that allowed you to use stealth and silence. Even if you couldn’t exactly say you were thrilled about being an assassin you were at least surrounded by people who genuinely cared about you now, watched over by a man who never raised his voice at you for things outside your control, and most comforting of all: you never needed to use a gun.

Not all loud noises set you off, just the ones that reminded you of the violent instability of your childhood and the cruelty of your guardian and peers. Your new teammates could get pretty noisy and spirited, but the boisterous and jovial nature of their laughter, even from their more intense teasing, was a comforting change of pace. You didn’t doubt your value or the fact they respected you.

Well, mostly. There was one teammate who was a bit harder for you to let your guard down around.

His name was Ghiaccio, and to say he was loud would be an understatement. When you first met him he had been a bit standoffish, but so were Risotto and Prosciutto. You knew it would take some time for everyone to accept you as a real part of the squad, and you were ready to be patient. But as you quietly observed everyone for those first few weeks, getting a feel for their individual personalities and their dynamics with each other, you found yourself very intimidated by Ghiaccio. He was able to pal around with the rest of them, even if he was gruff as a default, but when something upset him it was like a switch had been flipped.

He was critical of his squadmates’ performance out in the field, and he never hesitated to offer his critiques regardless of how little anyone wanted to hear them. He was critical of the way people talked, constantly nitpicking everyone’s pronunciations and word choice. He was critical of the way that chores around the house got done, judging everyone’s efforts by timeliness and thoroughness.

Everyone was able to brush him off most of the time without problem. When they actually valued what he had to say they never seemed to take the mean way he said it personally. They’d had plenty of time to get used to him and sift through the bullshit. They knew when something actually mattered to him and when something was just him blowing off steam for the sake of it. They knew when it was fair to ask him to shut up and when it was best to let him get it out of his system.

You steeled yourself as best as you could in those first few weeks, just telling yourself you needed some time to understand his quirks like the rest of your squad did, but your opinion changed immediately after your first mission with him.

“Is Prosciutto teaching you anything?” he barked out at you after you two finally managed to take out your hit. You flinched and looked away from his intense gaze. You were a bit anxious about being alone with him for the first time, and you wanted to give him your best effort to impress him, but being on so on edge caused you to make some big mistakes.

“Well?” he demanded when you said nothing. You had assumed it was a rhetorical question.

“Y-yes?” you stuttered out.

“Then you’re the one accountable for fucking up today. What the hell was that?” he asked, his question ending in something similar to a snarl.

Something that was different about working with Ghiaccio as opposed to working with the others was that he argued out loud to no one in particular about random topics that pissed him off. At first you thought he was expecting you to talk to him about how nonsensical some phrase was that Formaggio used before the two of you left, and you listened attentively, but he never gave you any room to respond. Eventually you realized he wasn’t really conversing, just yelling to yell. It was very distracting and it only made you fidget and lose focus.

“I… well…” you choked out. “It’s usually quieter… on my missions, since my stand is- well, since my stand is made for stealth and-”

“Me talking prevented you from doing your job correctly?” he asked, his eyes narrowing. You just shrunk even deeper within yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was insinuate your mistake had been his fault. There was no way that wouldn’t provoke his ire.

“N-no! You didn’t do anything wrong! It was me, I’m really sorry! It won’t happen again!” you squeaked out.

“Better not,” he grumbled sarcastically with a huff before turning to walk down the street towards his car. You followed, keeping a good distance behind him, not looking forward to the ride back to the base.

---

That had been weeks ago. While you had been doing a decent job at tolerating Ghiaccio before that mission, afterwards was a different story. You actively avoided him, checking if he was in rooms before entering, excusing yourself when he came into a room you were already in, shutting yourself in your room upstairs when you heard him start up on a rant somewhere on the main floor.

Eventually it was shamelessly (or perhaps shamefully) obvious to just about everyone.

“Dude, what happened on your mission with them?” Formaggio asked in a hushed tone one time after your footsteps had disappeared up the stairs. “They’re terrified of you.”

“How the fuck should I know? They haven’t said anything to me about it,” Ghiaccio shot back.

“Uh, yeah, duh. That’s what I’m saying. They won’t even sit in the same room as you,” Formaggio muttered.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” he said, scrunching up his eyebrows. “But it’s not like they talk much to begin with.”

“Are you kidding?” Illuso interjected, inserting himself into his two teammates’ conversation, much to Ghiaccio’s annoyance. “I can get them to prattle on for hours about themself. They’re a real chatterbox once you get to know them.”

“Illuso, dude, have they told you the story about their mission with Pesci down at the wharf?” Formaggio asked with a big grin.

“Fuck, I almost forgot about that,” Illuso replied with a chuckle. “What about the time where-”

“Hey! Shut up for a second,” Ghiaccio snapped. “We’re all talking about the same person, right?”

Upon being interrupted Illuso narrowed his eyes at Ghiaccio before turning to Formaggio. “It’s obviously because of Ghiaccio’s poorly controlled rage. Have you ever seen the poor thing freeze up over a gunshot before?”

“No, but I can imagine. One time I tried scaring them from behind and it took them ten whole minutes to recover,” Formaggio responded.

“I haven’t done shit to them, what possible reason do they have to be scared of me?” Ghiaccio asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, what happened on that mission?” Formaggio asked again.

“It was pretty standard, I killed the bastard while they assisted. They did fuck up pretty bad, which is typical during training, so I pointed it out for their benefit. Then we left,” Ghiaccio recounted. “Nothing else happened.”

Formaggio raised an eyebrow. “What did you say?”

“I don’t know! I think I asked if Prosciutto was doing his job right since they didn’t seem too confident. I asked if there was anything that might have contributed to their lackluster performance, but after thinking it over they said that it was on them.”

“Sounds pretty level headed and analytical of you,” Illuso said, stroking his chin. “Are you sure that’s how you said it?”

“Probably not in so many words, I was probably more casual about it,” Ghiaccio grumbled. “Why does it matter how I said it? What’s important is what I said.”

“Ghiaccio, your brand of casual is a few decibels above what’s average,” Illuso said.

“Not to mention the casual expletives, or the casual sarcasm,” Formaggio added. “Are you sure you didn’t casually tell them to go fuck themself without realizing it?”

“No! I mean, if I was stern with them it was in the context of training!” Ghiaccio insisted.

“Are we being trained right now? Is that why you’re yelling at us?” Illuso asked with a smirk.

“This is just how I talk!” Ghiaccio said, bringing a hand up to his temple. “Ugh, I don’t fucking know! Maybe I yelled at them? I remember being very straightforward. They seemed kind of on edge, but I just assumed that’s how they always are!” He dropped his hand and turned to look at his two teammates. “Are they really not like that on missions with you?”

“Not anymore,” Illuso said with a shrug. “At first a bit, but they’re pretty reliable now.”

“You’ve got to go slow with them. They’re easily set off, but if they know they can count on you they’re able to push through it,” Formaggio said.

“My stand is invincible and I never even let the guy near them. There’s no one better suited for watching someone’s blind spot than me,” Ghiaccio said with his hand splayed out on his chest.

“I mean, like… emotionally,” Formaggio said, scratching the back of his head. “If I was to put myself in their headspace I’d say they probably think you hate them.”

“I don’t hate them,” Ghiaccio spat loudly.

“Good! Now step two is letting them know that,” Illuso said, clapping a hand on Ghiaccio’s back, causing his glasses to slide down his nose.

Ghiaccio grumbled and pushed his glasses back up. He knew that things were weird between the two of you ever since your mission, but it never even crossed his mind it was because of something he said. Is this what Prosciutto felt like training Pesci? But even Pesci had never been avoidant or scared of Prosciutto for all the tough love that he gave him. Pesci looked up to him like an older brother.

If he was really the only one in all of La Squadra that you were uncomfortable around, then he supposed it was on him now to figure out why.

---

The base was pretty quiet today, with a lot of missions landing on Risotto’s desk this week. While you were quite fond of your new teammates you liked having the common area all to yourself on a quiet evening, especially if you were curled up with a novel. When you first started living at the base it felt like a luxury, but even after you had gotten used to the quiet its novelty hadn’t worn off for you.

The sound of a key jingling at the front door had you peeking over your book. When Ghiaccio appeared framed by the living room entrance you held your breath. Hopefully he’d be going upstairs… no, it looked like he was coming into the common area. That’s okay, you could move, so you started standing up, except… he was looking right at you, heading in your direction.

“Sit down,” he said stiffly, and after a beat he added, “Please?”

“Uhh! Okay!” you said, sitting back down and bringing your book right back up to cover your face.

“Can you also, uh. Please. Put the book down?” Ghiaccio said, his voice strained to maintain a monotone and flatten out any inflection. You did as he asked, although you still couldn’t meet his eyes, and he just stared at you awkwardly.

“Uh-”

“Hello,” he said, and it left his mouth at the exact same time your muttered exclamation had. Another awkward pause.

“Hi?” you said, unsure. This wasn’t what you were expecting from your next conversation with the man, for as long as you had postponed it. You thought he’d be demanding to know why you were ignoring him, or getting on your case about being too sensitive to handle his criticism on your last mission. Maybe that was yet to come?

“You are afraid of me,” Ghiaccio stated flatly. Then perhaps he realized he wanted to ask it as a question. “Yes?”

“Oh, no, I’m…” you muttered.

“Of course you are,” he said quickly, cutting you off before you could mumble out an excuse. You got pretty embarrassed by that, but you swallowed and moved your eyes up to gauge his expression. He didn’t look angry, but he looked hyper focused to the point of distress. His lips were pressed together tightly as if he was trying to hold back from speaking again.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“For being scared of me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He was being sarcastic again, wasn’t he?

“No, I… I mean… I’m sorry for,” you started, trying to think of something legitimate to actually be sorry about. “For fucking up on the mission.”

“Did fucking up on the mission really bother you that much?” he said. Not only were you stupid for fucking up the mission, but you were also stupid for letting it bother you for so long! What did he want you to say?

“No, I mean…”

But Ghiaccio cut you off with a long loud exhale. “Look, I’m not great at this kind of thing. I understand that I make you anxious, and I understand that for whatever reason it’s hard for you to talk to me, but I really can’t understand what people say unless they drop all the bullshit.” When you frowned and looked away he tried again. “Not bullshit, fuck, uh. No, not fuck... It’s just that. I need you to say exactly what you mean. I can’t tell what people are thinking unless they make it… easy for me.”

You looked back at him. Whatever he was here to talk about with you, he was trying very hard not to raise his voice. The way he was talking to you was too stilted to be anything but intentional. If he was doing this for your sake, then you would try to meet him halfway. You took a moment to think, to choose what you wanted to say carefully.

“I don’t do well with loud noises. I also… take things very personally. I’ve been worrying that you…” You took another second before committing. “...Hate me.”

He pressed his lips in a thin line again as some noise tried to escape his throat, perhaps an instinctive denial. “What about me makes you think that?”

“Well… you seemed pretty disappointed in me after the mission.”

“I was checking in with you. I wanted to make sure Prosciutto was properly training you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “But… but you sounded really angry and sarcastic.”

Ghiaccio closed his eyes and thought about that for a second. “I probably was angry, but not at you. You just fucked up on something so basic that I had to wonder if Prosciutto was actually teaching you anything useful.”

“That’s… not how you said it though,” you said, feeling defensive. “I… I know I did something dumb… but I’ve never messed up with my stand like that before. It was different on that mission.”

“Me talking to myself?” Ghiaccio asked. He had been fixating over what he said to you at the end of that mission for days now, trying to remember all the details. He recalled how you had started with one explanation, but you quickly retracted it.

“You were… so angry the entire mission,” you complained. “Everyone else is quiet on missions with me because my stand is better suited to it.”

“It wasn’t a stealth mission,” Ghiaccio countered. “We were using your stand for something different. I wasn’t even talking to you.”

“I know!” you groaned. “You weren’t trying to distract me, but when things get too loud I…”

“But you took it back. You said it wasn’t me,” Ghiaccio said, leaning forward. His voice had risen just a little, but when he noticed how you reacted to that he tensed up.

“I took it back because I was afraid of upsetting you!” you said, leaning back into the couch as far as you could. “Because when I brought it up… you were mean about it… so I took it back! I thought you were trying to tell me it was my fault, so I took the blame like I thought you wanted!”

“I was… I was asking for clarification! If I did something that caused you to fuck up then I want to know that I did so we can talk about it!” He was clenching his fists to keep his upward inflections from becoming full-blown yelling.

“None of that came across!” you complained. “Like… maybe you technically said those things, but the way you said made it come across completely different!”

“What about you? Now you’re telling me that you meant something completely different from the things you actually said to me!?”

“I-I… but I was obviously upset! I was obviously just trying to appease you!”

“How was it obvious? I thought you were upset because you fucked up! No one likes fucking up!”

“Yeah, no kidding!” You realized at this point that your own voice was starting to rise, which was making Ghiaccio raise his to match yours, and you took a deep breath before speaking calmly again. “I was upset because I was afraid.”

It was quiet again for a little while until Ghiaccio broke the silence.

“Being mean and angry comes really easy to me,” he said, running his fingers through his curls. “Even when I don’t realize it, I still am. Even if I think I’m being reasonable, people misunderstand. I’ve been so used to the others actually being able to take it that I forgot how bad it was.” He scratched at his head a bit. “I also have a hard time telling how loud I actually am until someone points it out.”

You sat there for a moment, soaking that in, before you gave a small amused huff with a half-smile on your face. “I’m not great with loud noises because of what they mean to me. Gunshots remind me of a time when I wasn’t safe… but I can protect myself now, and I have other people who will protect me too. But yelling reminds me of… how I was never good enough for anyone.” You tapped your fingers on the cover of the book on your lap and shrugged.

“I hear from the others that you’re really skilled and reliable on missions,” Ghiaccio said. “I didn’t see that from you when we worked together, but maybe that’s because I was the one who fucked up.”

“But you didn’t...” you started.

“I fucked up by not meeting you where you were at. You’re new. I don’t know you, I don’t know what you’re like. If we had talked beforehand, if I had worked with you, then you probably wouldn’t have made that mistake. I was taking the lead on that mission, it was my job to train you to use your stand in an unfamiliar circumstance. I use missions to get out all the shit that makes me angry, since I don’t need to stay quiet. You don’t work like that. You had no idea what I was yelling for. I never told you how I do things, I just expected you to brush it off like everyone else does.”

You blinked a few times. You had been pretty quick to blame yourself for your own shortcomings, but hearing him say that really recontextualized that entire mission experience.  You might have fucked up, but it was now obvious that he did not hold it against you. “That’s surprisingly self-aware of you.”

He rolled his eyes and set his elbow on the couch’s armrest, plopping his head on his fist. “You don’t know me either. I’m more than a raving heartless bastard. Stuff like this… not understanding why other people think the way they do, or what I’m doing wrong… it really fucks me up. I don’t hate you. You’re a part of my family now and I genuinely want to help you get stronger. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Ghiaccio was nothing like you thought. He was actually really sensitive and introspective. You could tell it was hard for him to confront you like this, almost as hard as it was for you to be confronted. You appreciated that he wanted to put in the effort to have a relationship with you.

“Thank you Ghiaccio. And I’m sorry I avoided you instead of trying to talk about it like this.” You reached over and placed your hand on his shoulder with a gentle smile. He seemed taken aback by the contact, but he relaxed after a moment.

“Are we… good?” he huffed out.

“I think so!”

He let out one long exhale that seemed to go on forever. “Thank fuck,” he muttered, before turning to look at you. “Goddamn it, sorry.”

“It’s not the swearing that bothers me,” you clarified. “It’s the intention behind it. You’re… uh… fucking good, my dude.”

He let out a snort at the awkward way you said that before bringing his hand up to cover his face, looking away in embarrassment.

“Aw, no, that was cute,” you assured him, which only made it worse.

“Well, if we’re done here then I’m heading to bed,” he said, and you glanced at the clock in the living room. It had gotten pretty late. He stood up and started walking towards the stairs.

“We have a mission together again this weekend, right?” you asked, and he looked at you over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“I’m looking forward to it,” you said with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. And you meant it. “Goodnight!”

“...Night,” he said, before he disappeared around the corner.

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