#and that’s such an antithesis to a lot of people I’ve encountered in my life

[stuckinapril]

I love people who’re just safe. People who will always be there for you even if ur an imperfect human being. People who acknowledge the fact that ur trying. When you’re a person w anxious attachment/who’s had their fair share of people who poorly communicate or do not care enough to or would rather just walk out, that is literally so healing. I love my safe people

#Thinking of my one friend whom im never anxious w even if she takes a minute to respond bc ik that when all is said and done she #Will always be there #and will communicate #and that’s such an antithesis to a lot of people I’ve encountered in my life #I’m preparing a bday package for her rn bc she does not just deserve a present #but a PACKAGE

[mimiorzea]

XXII: Argy-bargy

If there was something Vhox had learned in his twenty or some odd years, it was this:

the people in his life didn't come back.

The lesson took him a while to learn -- he wasn't always a 'quick on the uptake' sorta lad. But when your own mum couldn't be arsed to come back to feed you or pay rent for the musty room she left you in a few days shy of your fifth summer, and you got kicked out by the smarmy landlord some weeks later with little more than a sympathetic pat and a lukewarm egg salad sandwich (for which Vhox could still credit his lifelong intolerance of egg salad -- it wasn't even good, and he probably woulda spewed it over the edge of the lower decks had he not been starving)... well. You'd have to be some special kind of dense to think anyone else out there was gonna put up with your shite, either.

Such an assessment might not have been exactly fair, because Vhox himself was, at times, responsible for kicking old mates to the curb. He did it with a bit less courtesy than he'd been afforded by one Sharlayan Mooncat, too; would up and vanish to another haunt somewhere on the li'l smack of land they called Vylbrand, or find himself picking drunken fights until one of 'em finally had the nerve to break things off. One fellow in the crew that raised him even went so far as to send him letters, moping about the good ol' days before Vhox put his fist through Toffwyb's chest. Bloody sap, he was. Vhox spent days reading that letter, considering what it might be like to go back, to mend a few in the sea of bridges he'd torched, and even scavenged a pen to try to write out a reply -- but when he imagined facing the rest of the crew, the things they might say and the things he might come back awares to find that he'd done, he tossed the letter out with the rubbish and didn't once look back. Didn't read another damned one, deciding they better served being rolled up and smoked with the fogweed, as if the inherent disrespect of doing so might convey his disdain for the mere idea that he would ever go back, and better loosen that awful knot of indigestion he got any time he thought about what would happen to ol' Ortolf if Vhox lost control again.

There was a comfort in moving on, he would say. Always feeling his way forward, spending his days with a lot of fresh faces who didn't know a lick about him other than he was a decent lay and could bull's eye an apple right off the top of a brave sod's head with a knife even after putting back three pints of ale. No one expected anything from him -- and when things changed and people moved on, as they always did, there was ever a new batch of faces to replace the old, pissing his life away in the comfort of warm shallows for fear of all the things that could drag him under in the deep.

And Rin -- well, Vhox would have wagered his thumb that Rin was the same way, if not for that swivin' yellow-bellied shitestain Razhe kicking him into the clearing before every godsdamn member of the tribe during the mornin' group wank over Her Majesty Azeyma.

"Here you are: Vhox's k'tashlum* lover, the proof of his sins against our Goddess."

. . .

"You bloody--"

Rin did not finish that statement, though Vhox could imagine any number of words he could have used to fill it. Under more favorable circumstances, he might have offered them. But as it was, he was too dumbstruck by the man's presence in this dingy cave somewhere out in bumfuck nowhere, Gyr Abania, and the lilt of a plummy Sharlayan accent that he should not have missed as much as he did.

"Why didn't you play along? Still saving all that wit for persuading your way into banquet receptions and warm beds, is that it?"

"Play along with--" Vhox had to mentally backtrack to their encounter in the clearing, only to find that it kicked up a whole new wash of rage. His ears still thrummed with the chorus of angry voices that came in the wake of Razhe's announcement, furious rebukes and demands of retribution, a whole-arse argy-bargy (and for what? Suckin' a cock? Vhox would be on trial for days) -- in the midst of which sat Rin, verbally flogging himself like he was the most measly and groveling son of a bitch to ever waste air.

"You expected me to agree with that hot load of bullshite? Gods, Rin -- if it had been anyone else talkin' like that about you, I'd've knocked their teeth out."

The man gave an agitated huff. "What choice did I have? Whatever is going on, it's clear they're not happy to see me -- and if you had just let me play the scapegoat, then..."

Vhox couldn't be sure what sort of expression he made at that remark, although it made Rin falter, the shadow of something meek and embarrassed crossing his expression.

"What're you even doin' here?"

"Hells if I know." Part of Vhox knew he should be paying better attention, but he found himself studying the sharp lines of Rin's collarbones instead. They were more prominent than he remembered. Probably back to eatin' once a blue moon.

"That Razhe fellow showed up at the Gate looking for me by name, saying that you were in trouble -- wrong side of the local militia, or some such. Given your track record, it seemed believable--"

It took a moment to recall how in the seven hells Razhe would have known the first thing about Rin. Then: oh. The conversation they'd had shortly after Vhox's initial arrival, before he discovered what a miserable prat Razhe was, during which he had been prodded to confess details about the man whose absence had reawakened the depth of a loss that Vhox could not articulate -- something yawning and empty and desperate, a void he could not fill with fresh faces and drunken trysts no matter how hard he tried.

At the time, Vhox was sure as anything that he'd never see the man again. Yet now, Rin was here, in the flesh, looking especially small in the low light, more like he had when they first met than when things were good -- when Rin stopped straightening the life out of the beautiful mess of slate-blue curls that framed his violet eyes, and when he could sometimes, if Vhox was possessed to say something particularly stupid, be coaxed to smile.

"Who are these people?" Rin's voice broke the thought, with a bite in his tone that made another part of Vhox recoil. These people. These poor backwater desert dwellers who slept out in the elements and could rarely afford to eat more than the sinewy animals they caught out in the wilds, the antithesis of everything a dignified and well-learned individual like Rin could possibly respect. Just like him. "Why are you here?"

"They're -- my family, Rin."

An uncomfortable silence rose, both of them seeking words they couldn't find.

"After we went our separate ways, I... went lookin', I suppose. Turns out I had some family left after all." People like him, after Vhox had grown up thinking there were none. "There's a lot I never told you. A lot I did to you that I shouldn't've done," and if Vhox were a more tactful man, he might've thought to word himself in a way that didn't make Rin shrink back, in a way that didn't ring with the fresh memory of a crowd who had declared their coupling a sin. "I'm sorry you were brought here. I know it all seems strange, but... ever since I got here, I've been thinkin'... this is for the best. These people, Rin, they..."

He choked on the words. Even now, confessing what he was...

"Look--" when Rin spoke now, it seemed restrained, as though he were speaking against a hand at his throat. "Vhox, look at me."

Vhox did not abide him. In that moment, it was Rin who reached out, brushing messy bangs away from the other's eyes -- and then his hand lingered for too long, uncertain.

"Is this what you want?" A pause, as if to consider. "Are you happy here?"

Try as Vhox might to find it, he could not find the judgement in those eyes. He saw only a muted confusion, a sadness: an unspoken query that seemed to read, but what about the sandy beaches of Bloodshore? The look of the summer sunsets over Costa del Sol? The satisfaction of pulling a good haul in the nets off the fishing boats? The freedom to come and go -- to jump on the next boat due out of the harbor and end up anywhere, any time?

Rin always had been sharp, even if a bit scatter-brained and way too easy to misdirect. But maybe it was obvious: it was not what Vhox wanted. It was what he deserved. Quarantined from the rest of the world, people who couldn't understand what it meant to be born something dangerous and unwanted. People he would hurt. People who would hurt him, not realizing what he was and what that meant. The world was like that, full of change and fresh faces and people who never knew more about you than you wanted them to know. Vhox lived his whole life riding in those waves, and for once... for once, he wanted some of those faces to stay the same -- to have something in his life to hold him steady, something he didn't have to run from. Something he had in that time with Rin, and Luma, and...

Vhox tilted his head gently into that hand, a quiet and wordless moment of vulnerability, savoring the warmth of another touch that he wasn't sure he would feel again. Then, when he held Rin's wrist to move it away, he was struck again by how delicate it was in his grip, renewing an overwhelming and protective desire that reassured: this is for the best.

"... I should be. And if I don't get to say anythin' more to you, let it be this: I'm glad you cut things off. You deserve better than what we had -- better than someone like me."

Rin opened his mouth at once, flashing teeth in the start of a reply that Vhox expected would sting. But whatever he meant to say, he didn't get to. A shadow cast from the cave entrance, and Vhox recognized Razhe in the silhouette.

"Good. If that is how you feel -- then may Azeyma grant what you both deserve."

. . .

No. Godsdamn it, no--

His recollection of it all was dark, murky, churning waters over an abyss he could not peer into. There was Razhe, spouting some shite about Azeyma like the sort of overzealous madman you only hear about from the poor sods who bounced out of Ishgard; grabbing hands amidst a shuffle of movement (Vhox saw a form dive toward Rin and landed a solid kick in the whoreson's stomach), raised and desperate voices, panic like the tide rising up over his head when the realization of what Razhe meant to do hit him full force.

All of it was distant, almost intangible, disjointed sights and sounds that lacked the necessary cohesion for Vhox to clutch them in his hands. But there was one thing he did remember clearly: the terror and confusion writ in Rin's face.

"Fuck!" Even now, his arms wouldn't hold the weight of his swaying body. He was crawling on hands and knees, the deep rusty hue of dried and flaking blood stained up to his elbow, fingers smearing almost-black in the puddled ichor that gathered and settled in the crevices of the floor. Just like before. Just like the last time. As he struggled to discern other shapes in the space, he spotted one in the corner of the cavern, mouth agape and eyes glassy, a gaping wound painted crimson where a throat should have been.

If panic was the tide, then that was the moment in which Vhox snapped open his mouth, watching the distant glimmer of the ocean surface as he abided a futile impulse to breathe, drawing nothing for his lungs but seawater. It filled his throat, stung in his eyes, and his stomach churned, chanting no, no, not this, not him, until he was spared the oncoming breakdown by the reveal that the body was not Rin's -- but Razhe's.

He still felt like he was swallowing seawater.

"Rin, gods -- Rin, where are you?" Everything was so dark, masked in a stench so thick it was no wonder he couldn't breathe. "Rin, if you're there -- if you can hear me--"

"He's gone."

Another shape at the entrance of the cavern. Imzha.

"What the bloody fuck does that mean?" Whatever elaboration Imzha intended was lost beneath the force of Vhox's own voice, sharp with a wild anger. He rose onto unsteady feet, fists clenched, the stick of lingering blood an ever-present reminder of the monster that yet stalked at the edge of his consciousness. "How could you let that godsdamned nutter in here with a fistful of poison, knowing what he could do with it--"

"Vhox -- please, calm down--"

"Don't you fucking tell me to calm down! Where is Rin?"

He had trusted them. He had trusted the tribe. And then this--

"Your -- Rin, is fine."

He exhaled a bated breath.

"He is gone. He left, safely, of his own accord. I made sure that the tribe let him be."

Vhox staggered back down onto his knees. All of the fight ran out of his legs.

"Razhe acted of his own volition. He was not told to attack you." Imzha moved ever nearer, taking cautious and measured steps, as if she thought that to approach him too quickly might trigger the instinct to strike. It reminded him too much of the crew, after it happened. Too much of Ortolf. "For what little it may be worth, I'm glad you're safe. And your... 'friend' -- well. I suspect he won't be back."

Vhox might have expected that. It was what he expected to begin with. That was how it should've been. And yet it didn't... somewhere, in Vhox's chest...

"We didn't get to..." he didn't even say goodbye.

"It is just as I told you," she spoke softly, gently, as though she could read the despair in his features. "Outsiders don't understand. Who we are, what we can become -- it frightens them. Much like prey knows to fear its predator, even if they do not consciously know of the power that lives in our blood, they can sense it." She came to crouch onto her knees beside him. "Whatever you and Rin had... he never could have been with you."

"How do you know--"

"He said so."

The corners of his eyes stung. Everything smelled of salt and tasted of bitter.

'Course he would.

"He said you were a monster." Imzha's voice was a resonant murmur in the still of the cavern. "A dangerous creature he was afraid to imagine he might have ever loved."

He was a fool if he ever thought Vhox a man worth loving. And what a fool Vhox had been -- both of them. Better that Rin live long enough to find someone proper and refined, with whom he could have educated conversations (without the distraction of Vhox's carnal appetites) and who could make good money without subsequently spending moons looking over his shoulder, who would never gut him in a fit of terror or look at that precious nephew he so loved and think, what if something goes wrong and I--

"Do not think of him, Vhox. He is gone, and your place is here, with your family."

A hand touched to his face, with fingertips so much less delicate and nails that scraped just so. Nothing like Rin's, whose touch had been full of a fondness that Vhox missed so much that he hated it, so much that he wanted to trace over the lines with his own nails until they bled -- a fondness he was not sure he would ever feel again.

"Come. Let us see to those wounds."

Rin Weise is owned by @idealistsinc​

*k’tashlum is a fanon Huntspeak word used as a slur for Keeper of the Moon subgroup Miqo’te by some Seeker of the Sun tribes. Although this particular word makes no appearance on the page, general ideas and grammar structure for the fanon Huntspeak I follow can be found [here]. (Note that I am not the author of the article in question, and do not claim ownership of its ideas!)

#wow what this bitch is actually still writing fills? #although i finished this maybe a week ago or something lmao i forgot to post it #ffxivwrite2020 (late) #ffxiv vhox tia #ffxiv rin weise

[purplesurveys]

926

Significant other/crush survey

–CURRENT–

Something that you have in common: We’re working towards getting to pretty much the same industry, we’re both competitive as fuck and hate losing, we love dogs though she’s way better at disciplining them, and we love our coffee.

Are they a friend or just an acquaintance? She’s already my girlfriend. But she’s also my best friend.

Do you make an effort to talk to them or wait for them to talk to you? It works both ways, but generally I’m more talkative and I like sharing stories so I initiate conversations more often. Sometimes it can be annoying when I feel like she never starts a convo first, but I’ve come to understand that she’s not really the texting/IM-ing type.

What happens when you make eye contact? I mean, we’re always making eye contact lol but if we do it accidentally, we usually give each other a smile.

How often to you get to see this person? I used to see her 2-3 times a week when we were still in school since I drove and it was easy to see her whenever I wanted and could. Now that we’re maneuvering ~employment~ and ~being an adult~ in the middle of Covid, we haven’t figured out our arrangement yet and how often we could see each other. At the moment, it’s 1-2 times a month.

What bothers you the most about this person? She can get a little selfish and fail to consider my emotions and vulnerability if a situation personally doesn’t bother her. I’ve asked her to work on it and I’ve seen progress here and there, but when it comes down to it she simply tends to be individualistic and likes to look out for herself. Those are not bad things per se, it’s just that they sometimes end up affecting me.

Who is usually the first to flirt? She is, but that’s saying a lot as we aren’t too much of the flirting type. Maybe flirt is the wrong word...I’d say she’s the first to act cheekily. 

–MEMORIES–

How, when, and where did you meet? i’ve known her for the last 18 years but did not formally meet her until 2011. She had a friend, I had a friend, and those friends were friends so they introduced us to each other and it turned out that it was the two of us who hit it off really well and it was the quickest I’ve gained a best frend. We had attended the same school since kindergarten and we became friends when we became classmates for the first time in 7th grade.

What did you first talk about? I have no idea what our first encounter covered anymore, but I can tell you that what gave me the sign that she was going to be my best friend was when she watched Johnny English Reborn one weekend and came back to school the next Monday a complete fangirl for Gillian Anderson. As someone who was in my own fandoms that time I needed someone with the same energy and humor, and she showed up at exactly the right moment.

What is the best thing they have done for you? Saved my life. Literally. I’ve had more lows than highs and she saw them all through with me every single time, whether it was being by my side when I needed to cry in my car for a whole evening or helping me make a Powerpoint presentation due the next day when my entire group was not helping me. 

When was the last time you saw them? The other day.

Last thing you said to them? I apologized for the late reply and explained that I was having dinner.

Last thing they said to you? She just replied to that ^ saying not to worry.

What originally caught your eye? I started finding her really pretty in junior year and loved that her mind was always racing with thoughts to share and stories to tell me. I can’t exactly pinpoint the moment when I started *liking* her though; it happened all so very suddenly.

What was your first impression? When I first met her 9 years ago I could hardly believe she’d want to meet me and eat lunch with me and stuff because she was a popular girl, very well-liked and got along with everybody; I was virtually unknown throughout grade school and never had friendships that lasted. It was very weird to suddenly be talking to her since she just seemed way out of my league but when I realized she’s just as weird and nerdy and goofy as I was and not at all like the mean popular girls we had, I immediately took a liking to her.

What was their first impression of you? No clue and she’d probably have no clue either even if you asked her. She’s very forgetful.

Were you ever previously involved with them? Yeah we went out in 2014 but broke up then got back together.

What is your most memorable moment with this person? I have so many. I can probably give you one for each year that we’ve been friends/girlfriends. Off the top of my head, I’d go with the fact that my first out-of-town trip alone was with her, when we celebrated my 20th birthday in Nasugbu and Tagaytay.

–IN YOUR OPINION–

What is their best physical feature? I’d say her smile is my favorite, but I love so many features of her too like her eyes, dimples, hair, and the fact that I can squeeze her arms any time I want as she has a bit of chub :)

Personality trait? She cares so deeply about the people who mean a lot to her and would be very protective of them. Also, she’s super ambitious and isn’t one to shy away from a new or daring task.

Describe this person in three words: Hates to lose.

What are they like in comparison to your last crush? The closest thing I have to a ‘last crush’ is Andi, but tbh I didn’t develop much of a relationship with her since she migrated just a year after we became friends. I can hardly remember the conversations we had either...personality-wise, I’d say Andi’s a little aloof (at least back then) and shy; she avoided me when we first encountered each other. Gab’s amiable and will be nice to everyone immediately.

What are they like in comparison to the last person you dated? The last two relationships I’ve had were/are with Gab, and I wasn’t seeing anyone before her.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (Physical Appearance): 38

On a scale of 1 to 10 How much do you like them? 50

On a scale of 1 to 10 How much do you think they like you? Hahaha I hope it’s a 10.

–THE FACTS–

How much older/younger are they than you? She’s younger by like a month and a half. Really no difference at all.

How much taller/shorter are they than you? She’s a few centimeters taller, not a dramatic difference but enough for it to be noticeable.

Where are they from? She’s from the same city but we live on opposite ends, so it takes around 30-45 minutes to get to her place depending on how fast I’m driving ha. 

What do they look like? She’s around 5′3″, the prettiest wavy hair, big eyes, chubby cheeks, and she got a bit of West Asian genes due to her Turkish blood. 9 out of 10 times she gets asked if she’s Indian.

Describe their smile: It’s very warm and friendly. I automatically smile when I see it.

What about their friends? Her friends and I have different personalities so we don’t get to hang much, but Kris and Marts are very nice and have always been to me.

Is this person talented/skilled? Very. Not being biased but I’ve noticed that she’s ended up being skilled enough at anything she tries, whether it’s singing, playing a sport, handling a balisong, etc. She’s good at everything and it makes me kinda annoyed sometimes hahaha, because I’m so clumsy and only good at like three things.

Popular/well-known? S u p e r. She will light up any room she enters and people just naturally flock to her. She’s very sociable and knows how to handle all kinds of people and make them feel at ease. I’m the complete antithesis of her lol. 

What school do they go to? We went to the same school from kindergarten to high school, then for university she went to a school a couple of cities away from mine.

What kind of car do they drive? I can’t remember exactly even though I just saw it the other day skskkssk it’s either a Honda Civic or a Toyota Vios.

What kind of clothes do they wear? Sometimes she’ll put her rich aunt vibes out and wear nice flowy printed dresses or blouses. But she mostly dresses casually; a graphic tee or polo shirt with high-waisted denim jeans do it for her.

When is their birthday? June 5th.

–RANDOM–

How many people do you know with their first name? Lots. It’s a common name.

What is one thing they do that you don’t like? Again, her tendency to unconsciously shut down my feelings.

–THE FUTURE–

How long do you think you’ll like this person? When I like/love a person I never think about when I hope to stop that action... as long as she doesn’t do anything that breaks my trust or hurts me beyond repair, I’m happy to stick with her.

What would you do if they asked you out right now? I’d say there’s still a curfew and we can get arrested ha, but we can try the next day.

What do you want to happen next? I just want the journey to be smooth. We’re in a different chapter now and we’re no longer just college kids with safety nets and we’ve had more frequent serious conversations about our priorities, commitment, and our relationship in the long run. Most recently we agreed that the relationship mustn’t get in the way of our personal goals, especially career-wise; and that we’ll always have each other’s support in whatever we do and achieve.

#survey #surveys

[afriendlyirin]

Steven Universe Rewrite

So I’ve now finished my rewrite of the final arc (go read it and tell me all your thoughts), and while I’m satisfied with it in many respects, I still feel like it doesn’t properly resolve or engage with everything I’d like to, nor is it fully in keeping with the parts of Steven Universe I liked, despite that being my goal. There’s simply too much to get into and too little space to for it. To fully “fix” the narrative in my mind, I’d probably have to diverge much farther back.

I’m not interested in actually writing such a story, but I think it would be a good exercise to sketch an outline of what such a thing might look like.

I think the biggest problem is that Steven Universe has too many antagonists. The three initial Homeworld gems work well on their own – we spend a lot of time between each one, giving us time to process what’s happened before they return or a new antagonist gains focus. But with the diamonds, we don’t really get that breathing room. We barely know anything of Yellow before Blue shows up, we’re only just starting to really process them before White appears, and then the show ends. And throughout all of this, we have even more unresolved antagonists dangling – Jasper, the rubies, Topaz and Aquamarine, Homeworld’s system itself. To do justice to all of these characters at the previous pace of the show would probably have taken twice as many seasons.

My second problem, which is more personal preference, is that I don’t like how the plot ended up going epic, with Steven having to take on uberpowerful opponents with an entire empire of resources. I’d say this is also thematically confused – the show starts off making it seem like everyone is safe on Earth and the war is in the distant past, but it’s then revealed the war is very much still on and the plot becomes about Steven continuing the rebellion Rose left half-finished. My favorite parts of the show were seasons 1-3, which were much the antithesis of that – the conflicts were much more subdued, against lone actors or just interpersonal problems.

So, let us combine these things to give us a different starting state.

There was only one diamond, and she was destroyed during Rose’s rebellion. Either she blew herself up with a corruption bomb, or the shattering of a diamond is what makes a corruption blast. Down-scale the empire’s resources such that they were putting most of their manpower into fighting the rebellion, meaning that their population is utterly crippled by the fallout of the blast in addition to their loss of leadership. The gem empire still exists but as a shadow of its former self; it no longer has the manpower to invade new planets. (We can also tone down the oppression; no killing people just for being born. Whether or not that is still the case for Era 1, it’s just not possible to keep doing that with your population so crippled. Homeworld can still be oppressively conformist, but not to the point of EUGENICS EVERYWHERE.)

Right off the bat, this dodges a lot of awkward questions that are present in canon. Why did Rose stop fighting just because she saved one of many colonies, and why did she make Steven when Homeworld was still a threat that could endanger him – why, in sum, does she act like the war is over? Well, because it is, and she won.

This shifts the tone and focus of the story away from an epic rebellion plot and into one of postwar reconstruction. After the dust has settled, what happens? How do you pick up the pieces and move forward? Steven will only ever encounter pale shadows of Homeworld’s former power. Things like the Cluster become akin to forgotten landmines, echoes of a violent past that can still hurt people long after the conflict is over. He can still fight Homeworld gems, but they are lone agents acting on personal grudges; Jasper is not acting under orders, she just really wants to take a swing at Rose Quartz. (This setup even works a lot better with the threat level we actually see from canon, which is that Homeworld keeps sending weak scouts and small groups instead of bringing their full military might to bear against the Crystal Gems.)

This frees up a lot of space to just get into the characters talking about their feelings, which was always the real core of Steven Universe. In canon, Amethyst is the only Crystal Gem who really gets a full arc with a proper resolution (the battle with Jasper at the conclusion of season 3); Garnet’s gets flattened to just be about her relationship so it can be rushed through in Heart of the Crystal Gems, and Pearl’s arc gets completely substituted for something else that officially has no problem for her to resolve at all. The time spent on the diamonds and battle logistics could instead be spent on developing those arcs. With the antagonist compression, we could develop the Homeworld gems further as well, perhaps making them proper foils to Crystal Gems – something I get the impression canon was trying to go for but never seemed to really commit to.

Speaking of which, this would make the Homeworld gems much more tragic and sympathetic. Lapis’ despair over how different the new Homeworld is would no longer be about the simple passage of time, but because it is genuinely a shambling corpse of what it once was. And because Era 2 is so different than Era 1, Peridot, an Era 2 gem, would lack much of the shared culture and knowledge other gems have, justifying her naivete and social awkwardness. Finally, the rebellion destroying the entire army makes Jasper even more isolated – she is one of the very few survivors of the war, further justifying her fury at Rose and her inability to open up to her peers – she has none.

This would also make everything about Bismuth so, so much more reasonable. Instead of reacting to the fact that Rose lost the war that is very much still on, she’s advocating for igniting a brand new one before the ashes have even cooled on the first. (For extra horror, she might not even be dissuaded by the news Rose killed the diamond after all – they may have understood Homeworld’s soldiers were only following orders and assumed they would defect if they removed the command structure… but now you’re telling her they assassinated the head honcho and they’re still loyal to Homeworld? Clearly the only solution is to KILL ‘EM ALL.) It is far more understandable for Steven to keep her bubbled in that situation, and for the Crystal Gems to agree to it.

Ultimately, I think this plotline could remain very similar for seasons 1-3; perhaps move up the “Rose shattered Diamond” reveal to around season 2, and follow it with the Cluster plot to show why that really was necessary while emphasizing that yeah, war is horrible we really shouldn’t be starting another one, Bismuth!

The major difference would be swapping out Yellow Diamond for a lower administrative gem. I thought Yellow Diamond alone worked as a fine antagonist, really, so not much needs to change – just transplant her personality into another gem. This character could function as a foil to Garnet, someone thrust into overwhelming responsibility because there’s no one else qualified left alive. We could even double down on this and make her a permafusion; that maps really well onto modern conservatism, where people who would actually be hurt by the old hegemonies still romanticize them anyway. Season 4’s arc could revolve around her; having dealt with Lapis, Peridot, and Jasper, Steven must go to Homeworld and address the problem at its source. (The events of “Raising the Barn” could happen here, giving Lapis an extra season to work through her issues.) This could actually be resolved very similarly to the White Diamond resolution in canon, but it would fit with the earlier themes much better – this gem really would have reasons to feel insecure about her failure to live up to a perfect ideal. And for bonus points, that makes her a foil to Steven, too.

It would also make it a lot more believable that these gems would need Steven to teach them what is, if we’re being honest, pretty basic philosophy. If they are technically free of the old system but still stubbornly cling to its trappings, it makes sense that they’d need an outsider to tell them to think for themselves and that this would genuinely be a radical new perspective for them. Hauntings, again – just as in real life, the system still influences peoples’ thinking long after it was officially dismantled.

We could replace the Zoo arc with something that hits the same beats. The rubies return (or someone new gets sent) and capture Greg for some reason. Instead of seeing the Zoo we get to see Homeworld society directly during the trip. The events of That Will Be All still occur, as Not Yellow Diamond, cracking under the strain, unfuses and argues with herself behind closed doors.

Instead of the gems only being caught as a joke (and having that also be resolved as a joke), it’s a choice Steven makes. We invoke the hero’s last temptation: He has everything he’s ever wanted, his family in one piece and Homeworld beaten so thoroughly they’ll never threaten them again… but to take that offer means looking away, and abandoning everyone who is still suffering on Homeworld. He looks upon the gates of Heaven, but willingly chooses to walk back into Hell.

(Connie should probably be present to witness this so we can set up the falling-out arc, which is important for deconstructing Steven’s martyr complex.)

This leads to an analogous arc to Wanted and Diamond Days where Steven navigates Homeworld until he finally reaches Not Yellow Diamond. For added tension, the gems are separated somehow and Steven spends a significant time on his own befriending Homeworld gems. Garnet converges with him for the finale so we can make it about her (maybe extend her themes to the previous arc, focus on her stress and failures as leader during the heist).

Not Yellow Diamond is a noncombatant, but hides behind elite guards and defenses that Garnet and Steven can’t handle on their own, necessitating a fusion. The theme here could be that Garnet is paralyzed by her responsibilities, unable to both mount an offense while also keep Steven protected; Steven cuts through this by taking on his own responsibility, showing Garnet that she doesn’t have to do everything herself.

Not Yellow Diamond’s redemption happens similarly to White Diamond’s, but because she’s a noncombatant it is actually reasonable for Steven to spend so long on a nonviolent solution. Possibly Garnet even tries to shatter her (this could be what makes them unfuse), but Steven stops her. Not Yellow Diamond more explicitly agrees to change things and protect Earth.

So by this point, Steven will have dealt with all extant threats… but there are still issues left unresolved. The corrupted gems still aren’t healed, Bismuth’s still bubbled, Lapis is still missing, and Pearl hasn’t had a personal arc to resolve her issues. This would then turn season 5 into something of a denouement season, tying up all the remaining loose ends. This season’s theme could be one of self-actualization, revolving around Lapis and Pearl working through their difficult mental health problems and Steven, though seeing his own issues reflected in them, overcoming his own imposter syndrome in the process.

Season 5 starts after a timeskip. Steven is trying to heal the corrupted gems but is making no progress. Make this into a metaplot, with snippets in other episodes throughout the season showing he’s continuing to try and making more progress as his personal arc progresses.

Bismuth is already unbubbled to leapfrog over that awkward conversation, but still suffers from PTSD. She gets an episode (or two) about her issues, primarily grief. She bemoans the loss of her friends, and Steven tries to assure her that he’ll heal the corrupted gems any day now. She shows him the shards and says bitterly, “Can you heal these?” Spirals into a breakdown naming and remembering all the shattered gems. Steven tries to lay down some generic platitudes like he always does, but this time it doesn’t work; Bismuth calls him out on his ignorance and innocence, that he’s never lost anyone so he has no idea how she feels. This forces him to rethink things and actually listen to Bismuth, foreshadowing that that will be the theme of this season. (For bonus points, could also have her echo Pearl’s “She’s gone, but I’m still here,” re: the shattered gems.)

This could probably happen simultaneously with the falling-out arc (though that interacts awkwardly with the timeskip since Connie would probably be upset immediately after), could draw a connection by having Steven realize or Connie point out his god complex, he wants to help people for his sake not for theirs.

After that heavy opening we can have funtimes with human friends; Sadie Killer arc happens here plus any outstanding human subplots resolve. Should probably also have an episode about Pearl that touches on her issues since that’ll be the topic of the final stretch.

Then Lapis comes back. Have a conversation about PTSD and how she needed to do it on her own time etc., Steven can show his growth by accepting this and not pushing.

If the Lion chest is important, Lapis found the key while soul-searching (it was hidden somewhere on Earth the CGs didn’t look).

Next plot episode is Steven getting frustrated over his inability to heal the corrupted gems (can have a comedy bit where he tries increasingly absurd and convoluted methods), wonders what he’s doing wrong. Something happens that leads to him talking to Pearl about Rose. Possibly he thinks whatever’s in the chest is the cure, but that seems pretty stupid even for him. Events lead to Pearl revealing that she shattered Diamond and Steven has a fresh meltdown, accuses all the other gems of secretly being shatterers and not telling him (Garnet could react really awkwardly, implying she actually has killed people), decides that’s the problem and runs off.

(If there is a similar memory scene with Pearl, it’s via hologram; Diamond literally does not get a voice.)

Either Pearl tracks him down, or someone else brings him back only for him to discover that Pearl has run off because she agrees that she is horrible and shouldn’t be around Steven. Either way leads to a deep conversation about their issues. The climax here would result in Steven fusing with Pearl as he has with the others, but perhaps this time the context is peaceful rather than it being a tactic used in desperation, affirming the idea that fusions are a way of life and not just a tool.

As a result of his growth from this, Steven finally figures out the method to heal the corrupted gems, whatever that may be. We have a great happy ending montage where it looks like everything’s resolved – Steven has forged peace with Homeworld, and all the corrupted gems are healed, including Jasper…

…who immediately attacks him. We get one final episode, or perhaps even a full arc, revolving around a final fight with Jasper. Because Steven never actually resolved her issues before she got bubbled! She is still mad, still violent, and still hurting. This is the most narratively satisfying climax, because Jasper is all the story’s themes embodied: the sins of the past come back to haunt us, the scars left by war, and the pain of grief and acceptance. She always made the most sense as a “final villain” to me. Steven’s usual approach of steamrollering people with generic feel-good platitudes would not work here; he must actually use what he’s learned and engage with Jasper on her own terms.

(If this were an actual show THIS is where I would pull the surprise season extension, lead everyone to think the Pearl reconciliation is the grand finale and then surprise them with Jasper.)

The Jasper episode, or the finale if it’s a whole arc, would be titled “Under the Stars So Bright” as a reference to Trigun and also the imagery of being under the star of Diamond.

I feel the only way to make this work would be to intercut the Jasper ep with flashbacks to her time under Diamond, much like Trigun’s final episode. Only issue is that the sudden change in POV would be really weird; Trigun worked because the hero was there for those events and we only see his perspective, but Steven has no window into Jasper’s past.

Jasper poofs all the CGs and digs a hole to the core with the intent of popping the Cluster. Steven proceeds to get the crap beaten out of him protecting and bubbling the CGs like Vash vs. Midvalley in Trigun. Make this incredibly gruesome, even with the bubble shields she cracks his gem and draws blood.

Steven tries to reason with her like he did before, and like before it just makes her push back harder. Eventually she tries to pull a suicide by cop and bait Steven into shattering her. He gruesomely rams his fingers through her face to grab her gem and draws his fist back to kill her, and then we get a flashback montage of all his family memories – but in an inversion of Vash vs. Legato, this results in him not killing her. (For bonus creepy, he could also be stopped by Jasper flashing a grin or letting slip that she wants to die.)

Maybe as a compromise, he does poof her – this would be the only time in the series he intentionally does so.

(In the fantasy world where I have an animation studio at my beck and call, this would be filled with visual references to Trigun, both the Legato and Knives confrontations.)

Ending is Jasper going to prison to face trial for trying to blow up Earth. Lapis gets to say her piece, then Steven gives a more mature redemption speech than usual, about how he can’t make her change and she has to want to become a better person but he still believes in her anyway. This can perhaps be the nuanced message that the movie… appeared to be trying to go for with Spinel, that people can have understandable reasons for lashing out and doing bad things, but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to exhaust yourself for them; you don’t have to be a martyr.

In the final montage, Jasper reunites with other jaspers who were corrupted in the war (maybe mirrored with a montage of Bismuth hugging formerly-corrupted Crystal Gems). Final message is what the canon ending claims to be: Steven has gained a more mature and complex outlook on “good” and “evil” but he still chooses to be optimistic and believe in the goodness of people. GOOD END.

That’s my take. Ultimately, it seems Steven Universe bit off more than it could chew, or perhaps had too many cooks. The most important takeaway from this, in my view, is to keep things to a manageable level in your story. Don’t introduce elements you know you won’t have time to adequately address; a few points done well will often land better than a lot of stuff done slapdashedly.

#steven universe #su #fanfiction #su meta #steven universe meta #my posts

[artificialqueens]

Bring It On Again pt 2 (Branjie) - Ashley

A/N: part 2 of Bring It On, time for Brooke to try out for the Amazons! Hope you like! Thanks for the lovely feedback make sure to keep it coming and any concrit you have. Just wanna apologise for a typo that slipped away from me in the first chapter I’ve been a lot more vigilant this time. This ones a bit sad, prepare for an ep7 untucked level bust up, but oh well. Enjoy! Love Ashley xoxo

One night was all she’d had to try and channel her precise years of ballerina training into the fast-paced flicks and fierceness of cheerleading. Although she was physically capable of doing all the moves she had been meticulously researching, Brooke was still far out of her comfort zone - yes she could flip but could she do it fast enough? Would she even look like a cheerleader? It took every inch of will not to return her feet back to third position after completing a move, now having to keep them shoulder-width apart and her arms raised in a high V instead. The moment had arrived and despite begging Jovan to come to watch her audition he was decidedly against the whole nature of cheerleading so she had come alone. Trying hard not to let the cheerleaders intimidate her, Brooke cast her mind back to Toronto where she had always floated above the rest of the school, she was ready. Like something out of a 2000s teen film, the squad sat at a long table of 5; two boys adjourning either end, Akeria and Silky sat next to each of them and of course Vanessa in the middle. They all had matching blue and white tracksuit jackets with the Amazon emblem embroidered at the left side of the chest. Vanessa’s differed from everyone else; with gold piping around the edge and “Vanjie” written under the logo, she separated herself from the rest of the group, outlining herself as the ruler of the group.  “You need to fill one of these out,” she looked at Brooke with slight disdain, holding up the application form. “Did it,” Brooke replied sharply, whipping the sheet from her pocket and walking towards the table to hand it to the girl. Her large eyes skimming the page quickly, Vanessa grinned: “Brooke Lynn, is it? Before we start I’m going to need to make sure you can do a standing back tuck. Standard procedure, you’ll understand.” “Just Brooke. Standing back handspring, back tuck okay?” she replied, not waiting for the girls response before throwing herself backwards into the move- grateful for the years of gymnastic seminars and flexibility training that accompanied her focus on ballet, Brooke knew she was still in too deep with the moves, but if there was one thing she’d learned about competition it was that they should never see you falter. “Nice job white girl,” Akeria smiled at Brooke, jotting something down in her notebook. “But can she yell? We’ll try an oldie” Vanessa looked Brooke up and down, clearly taking note of her quieter and more reserved nature compared to the Amazons. Moving her arms to the tune of her own chant, she began to perform from her seat and once again Brooke realised why everyone at the school was so obsessed with Vanessa and the Amazons, something about her was just so captivating, even when sitting down and cheering Brooke was still impressed: “We’re bad, we got the T, we can’t be had, we’re the best so score them points, you win the game we’ll rock this joint. Go Amazons!”  Brooke tried her hardest to mimic Vanessa’s cheer, even throwing an arabesque in at the end, but she knew her voice wasn’t as loud or commanding as it should have been. “I transferred from a Ballet Academy in Toronto, your school has no other type of dance and it’s a last resort. I haven’t cheered before but I can learn. I checked out your stuff online, it’s good but you need to be different to become number one, you could use me,” Brooke pleaded her case to the girl, trying not to let her emotions cloud over too much, she knew Vanessa would not allow a weak player onto the team. “Do it,” Silky nudged Vanessa to which the girl looked up in response. “Front handspring, step out, round off. Back handspring, step out, round off. Back handspring, full twisting layout,” Vanessa popped the “t” in layout with a devilish smile, raising her brow at Brooke.  Simultaneously angry and aroused towards the other girl, Brooke waltzed to the back of the gym, keeping her arms elegantly draped by her sides. The whole room was silent other than the light patter of Brooke’s footsteps. The tension knife worthy, she turned to face the panel and dived - hitting every single step perfectly. Landing eventually close to the table and facing the opposite way she turned around to see Vanessa’s mouth open with surprise. Despite the other girls hollering and cheering at her, Brooke found the most pride in the response from Vanessa, knowing it took a lot to impress the commander of the squad. She had broken through her hard exterior, only just. Despite that breakthrough simply being a small opening of the mouth, it still validated Brooke nonetheless, she was on her way to impressing the ice queen. One count at a time. “Brooke is bank!” One of the boys at the end of the table grinned towards Brooke. “Bankrupt,” Vanessa retaliated, giving the boy one of her infamous looks. “I’m captain and what I say goes. This is not a democracy. Sorry, Brooke Lynn, I don’t think you have what it takes. Maybe next time.” For years Brooke had learned how to take defeat. You smile, you thank for the opportunity, you say goodbye and exit with grace. In her old life, she’d done it hundreds of times with no issue, knowing that it was just another bend in the road. All of that was gone here. Fighting back tears she grabbed her bag from the floor and stormed out the gym - the antithesis of graceful and pristine. Vanessa’s words ringing in her ear, she hadn’t even noticed that Jovan was at the doorway until he grabbed her arm and pulled her to one side. “I told you so?” Brooke said to him with choked breath, wishing she’d stayed away from the cheerleaders as Jovan had warned. “We’ve all been there B, you ever wondered why I hate them so much? You’d think being double jointed in almost every way would get me on their squad but it didn’t. And here I am saying I want nothing to do with it yet unable to resist watching. Trust me though, you killed it. They’ll be regretting not having you when they’re still coming second at nationals. They’re just jealous Brooke. Stupid bitches,” he responded, Brooke, surprised at the nice words towards her coming out of his usual cynical tirades.  Used to bottling her feelings, Brooke let the tears fall down her cheeks as she hugged her new friend, grateful to have someone there for her. “What do you say we go to mine, watch sad movies and get pissed again? My parents are out of town” he asked her.  “Your sister..” Brooke looked at him in response. “In case you haven’t already noticed, I don’t give a fuck what she thinks.” Jovan laughed, “I promise we’ll stay well clear of her.” “Only if I pick the film,” Brooke propositioned, “I’m not watching any of the weird shit you have on DVD.” “Deal,” Jovan raised his hand for Brooke to shake whilst laughing.  Fuck Vanessa, she thought, maybe her night wouldn’t be so bad after all.  *** “I’m sorry, girl. If I had known..” Jovan trailed off, the loud music being played downstairs filling what would have been an awkward silence in the room. “It’s fine,” Brooke said taking a heftier sip from her drink until it was all gone, “I had to face them at some point, better sooner than later I guess.” Having been drinking since they returned home from school that day, it was safe to say that the pair were slightly steamed.  “It’s my fault, I should have known that obnoxious popular teenagers and a free house meant a party. Would it make you feel better if we tried to steal some of their booze?” The tipsy and confident Brooke she had met at the start of the week returning, she smiled at Jovan in response, “Yes. Yes, it would.” Making their way downstairs, Brooke knew they’d be unable to avoid Vanessa. Despite being so horrible earlier, in her current state Brooke wanted to see her, to look her in the eyes and see how she reacted. Jovan was right, Brooke had killed it in her tryout and if Vanessa couldn’t see that then she was a stupid bitch. Walking into the kitchen where she’d encountered the girl the last time she was here, Brooke was determined to rise above whatever may be said as she made her way to the fridge. “Vanjie, who’s the babe with your step-brother?” Vanessa’s boyfriend asked non-subtly, despite having already met Brooke on the previous Monday. The couple sat on a red couch in the corner surrounded by the rest of the cheer squad and some other students Assumedly on a similar level to Jovan and Brooke with a drink in her hand, Vanessa looked at the pair and responded: “She’s nobody, just some transfer who thinks she’s hot shit.” Sticking with her mantra to rise above it, Brooke looked in Vanessa’s direction and was all set on ignoring the couple until Jovan turned around and rose his voice towards his sister, the alcohol in his system leaving him clearly incapable of holding back. “Hey Vanessa, has anyone ever told you that you’re jealous? You’re all about team spirit and being number one but you know fine and well that you’d rather lose every competition than have someone that slightly better than you on your squad. So what is it about Brooke? She’s prettier, she’s more polished, she’s stronger?” Despite being tipsy, Brooke could see the flinch of pain Vanessa had felt at her brother’s words before she reverted back to her usual sense and laughed at his comment, brushing it off as if it were nothing in front of all of her squad.  “It’s more to do with the fact she can’t cheer,” Vanessa retaliated harshly, Brooke seeing the pain behind her glossy eyes and gritted teeth as she did so. “Sorry guys, I guess it’s time for everyone to go, can’t seem to have any fun around here without people ruining it. I’ll see you lot for practice on Sunday.” *** “Jovan, you didn’t have to do that,” Brooke said to her friend as his sister escorted the rest of the guests out of the house. “Someone needs to put her in her place, Brooke. All I did was be honest,” he sighed as his sister entered the room again.  Gone was the calm exterior she had held previously in front of everyone, Vanessa was mad. “I thought I told everyone to leave,” she glared in Brooke’s direction, resulting in a scoff from her brother. Not wanting to cause any more trouble, Brooke grabbed her bag and went to get up before being stopped by Jovan. “You don’t own this house Vanessa; and anything you want to say to me you can say in front of Brooke. I’m sorry you have a problem with my honesty.” The tension radiating between them, Brooke was waiting for the storm - despite wanting to hide from the clash of two huge personalities, she found herself glued to the spot she stood in, unable to look away from the pair as though they were the wreckage of a car crash. “I don’t have an issue with your ‘honesty’, but if you have an issue with me you can pull me aside and tell me you don’t have to pop off at me in front of my whole team. I thought we were closer than that,” “I did not pop off at you, I told you the goddamn truth. You’re so defensive, and that’s the only reason I pushed any of your buttons in the first place” “You’re so full of shit Jovan. The other day there you were telling me how proud you were of me!” Vanessa was screaming at this point, her voice hoarse and tears pricking her eyes. Every face Jovan had pulled when Brooke mentioned the cheerleaders to him, every awkward encounter she had witnessed between the siblings had all amounted to this moment.  “Because I was fucking proud of you,” Jovan shouted back at his sister.  “It’s not my fault you never made it onto the squad Jovan, it’s been years just get over it. You knew at the time there was nothing I could do, I wasn’t gonna give up my chance to please you when all you do is shit like this,” “I don’t give a shit that I didn’t make it onto the squad with you 2 fucking years ago Vanessa, but you’ve turned into that person who did that to me and now you’re doing it to Brooke. Yes, I was fucking proud of you working hard to be a captain but not if you’re gonna let your jealousy take over.” Clearly striking a chord with Vanessa, she got closer into her brothers face. Coming from such a humble background and life in Toronto she didn’t know how to react to the current situation at all. Any fighting Brooke had witnessed in the ballet world had been behind the scenes and sneaky, the complete opposite at the screaming match the siblings were having in front of her, with years of anger and non-raised issues clearly seeping through the surface of their words. “Regardless of what you think, I would have never have spoken to you like that in front of people who are meant to respect you like you just did on the couch! I would have pulled you aside and said ‘Jovan you’re fucking jealous”” Vanessa shouted again, the argument between the two siblings being clearly deeper rooted than insecurity about her position of power on the Amazons. “Well, I think you’re a fucking terrible sister because I’m not here to hide around away from you and whisper shit in your direction. You can yell at me when I leave high school with a fucking good life because I didn’t spend my whole time there trying to impress people who won’t give a shit about me in a few years time,” Jovan started to walk away from Vanessa, knocking over a chair in the process. “I was trying to be cordial with you,” “I don’t need anyone to be cordial with me, I need you to be real. At least I’m getting the real you now, ey sis.” “I thought we were fucking cool Jovan,” Vanessa let her emotions pour out, Brooke shocked at the girl she’d barely seen move her face in a week losing any sense of her priorly cold exterior. Vanessa was a real human being and she was hurt. “If we’re cool, I’m not gonna lie to you like all your teammates do. I’m not gonna feed you with bullshit like those ‘sisters’ do, is that what makes you happy?” “I never told you to lie to me!” Vanessa gave one last final scream at her brother, her voice minutes from breaking, before running out of the room. Although she hadn’t known her for long, Brooke could see she was coming from a hurt place. The click of the front door shutting rang through the suddenly silent house.  “Fuck,” Jovan shouted to himself before kicking the chair that had been knocked on the floor, a lot of pent up anger from years of his relationship with his step-sister having just spilt out of him like a tap too tight to turn off.  Adjusting to the way in which the room had gone from 100 to 0 in less than a minute, Brooke was about to comfort her friend like he had done for her earlier when he stopped her, “It’s freezing outside,” he looked to the floor, not making eye contact with Brooke. “You should go find her,” Brooke suggested. “She won’t talk to me, and if I’m honest I don’t want to talk to her either, I just don’t want her to freeze,” Jovan laughed in a slightly hysterical way. The way you laughed when everything you felt had been torn out of you and your body couldn’t comprehend any other way in which to react. All that was left to do in the sick silence was to laugh. “I’ll go find her,” Brooke said, any prior anger she felt towards Vanessa melted away by the scene she just watched unfold. “Thanks,” he said, curling his knees up to his chest and rubbing his hands over his shaved head clearly trying to process what had just happened. *** Clad in one of Jovan’s fleecy coats with another one in hand for his sister, it didn’t take Brooke long to find the other girl. There she was curled up on a bench by the park close to her home, hands running through her hair. Despite the argument, they had had and the fact that they shared no blood, it was clear she and Jovan were related. “Hey,” Brooke sat next to her, unsure of what else to say. “I brought you a coat.” “I’m fine,” Vanessa spoke quietly and looked straight ahead, not making eye contact Brooke. “You’re stubborn aren’t you,” Brooke rested the coat on the other girls back. “You don’t know me,” she whispered again, Brooke seeing a different side to both the Vanessa she had watched at school for the past week and the one she’d watched not more than half an hour earlier in the kitchen. “I know you’re upset, and I know it’s freezing out here.”  Garnering no response from the girl, Brooke spoke again, “If you’re not gonna speak to me it’s fine but I’m not leaving you alone like this, I can ring your boyfriend if you want?” In a similar way to how Jovan had done so earlier in the calm after the storm, Vanessa began to laugh to herself as though her body had no other way of processing the events of the night. “It’s Friday so he’ll probably be at Ariel’s, or is it Kahanna’s on a Friday, I can never keep up.” “Well he clearly doesn’t deserve you but maybe that’s something for another time,” Brooke looked at the girl, not wanting to scare her away by prying too deep into her life. She had already seen such a vulnerable side to someone so guarded and didn’t want to intrude even further. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m a big girl, I’ve got this,” she raised her eyebrows towards Brooke, looking at her for the first time since she had sat down. “Well I don’t really believe you so I’m just gonna stay here until you’re alright,” Brooke said. “You don’t have to babysit me for my brother, I’m fine.” Vanessa pleaded. “I’m not,” Brooke responded, which was true, although Jovan had asked her to find his sister she genuinely wanted to make sure the girl was okay after seeing her in such a vulnerable state. Pulling a bottle of water from her pocket, she offered some to the girl. “Don’t you think I’ve had enough for one night,” “It’s water,” Brooke laughed, causing Vanessa to crack up too. Within minutes they were both dying with laughter and even though Brooke knew objectively that it wasn’t really funny, something about the atmosphere in the air and the whole fucked up night they’d had just made the girls laugh more and more. Until of course Vanessa was no longer laughing, tears once again streaming down her face the way they had when she argued with her brother. Brooke put her arm around the girl and rubbed her back softly.  “It’s alright,” she whispered. “Why are you being so nice to me? I’ve been a bitch” Vanessa asked, turning to look at Brooke. She was a deer in headlights. A lost puppy looking for comfort. “As much as I’d love to give some sort of poetic answer like they do in the movies, I don’t have a fucking clue,” Brooke looked up at the night sky. She hadn’t known what to expect when picturing her new life in Florida but it certainly hadn’t been trying out for cheerleading, befriending a double jointed oddball and sitting on a bench at midnight comforting a girl who had treated her worse than muck. A girl may she add that she probably would have kissed were she not in such a vulnerable state.  “I don’t have a fucking clue, Vanessa.”

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #yvie oddly #branjie #bring it on #bring it on again #high school au #lesbian au #tw alcohol #angst #ashley #concrit welcome #submission #s11

[bopeepwritingsheep]

Lone Wolf - Chiyojo 2

Chiyojo had known from the moment her Uncle put on the hat that any potential in a career outside the academy was completely and utterly tanked. The blatantly covered up and ignored attempt on her life just a few weeks after his ascension pretty much clinched that deal given her ankles would never be fit for the wear and tear of field work anymore. She was lucky her vocal folds had only been damaged and not fully destroyed, she could still give her kids one hell of a lecture when she wanted to, provided she had a few sips of water intersped--but she just chalked up to proper hydration, none of her current students knew how close to death their sensei had come to within the supposed safety of their village walls.

To be honest, she’d rather keep it that way, let them be children while they were still in the academy. They had their genin careers to learn about the harsh realities of the leaf village they would one day inherit.

Still, she wasn’t exactly a career climber, but she knew that given her particular situation looking towards opportunities within the academy system was really her only option nowadays. So she’d worked hard and in spite of her young age, she’d climbed that ladder as high as she could for the time being, which was what brought her to her current task, processing the applications of injured field ninja for transfer to the academy. It was a mostly thankless job, but it got her brownie points for doing it without complaint and she was saving up every single favor she could.

Her and Suzume were stable enough for now, but they had plans to move out of their little one bedroom apartment into a larger one, or even a rental home if they could find one. Maybe near the Inuzuka district, they were so much more relaxed about couples like them and Suzume’s genin teammate was an Inuzuka who she was certain would be able to talk to someone for them. Any kind of extra hours she could work right now were a bonus, every ryo carefully counted and added to their moving fund.

Applications for injured chuunin and jounin weren’t terribly common, most shinobi held out hope that they’d recover from their injuries so they’d wait until they had no other options. It wasn’t really a reasoning that Chiyojo personally approved of for becoming a teacher, given that she’d chosen the task all the way back in her genin days but retired field ninja could be good teachers if the right ones were hired. That’s where the annoying part of the whole process came in, and the reason most people pushed the task onto those desperate for extra hours, background checks and interviews.

The man, Mizuki, had no possibility of returning to the field according to the medical details in his transfer request--And Chiyojo couldn’t help but wince in sympathy when she’d read that, she’d spent a good while in a wheelchair herself, and his recovery process looked grim. Even if he recovered the use of his legs, he’d probably be permanently bound to crutches. Chiyojo’d had her age to thank for her recovery process, the ‘accident’ had apparently stunted her growth a bit, but in a few more years she wouldn’t even need her cane to walk with on good days.

So here she was, waiting in an unused classroom because someone had made an inquiry about the application of said injured chuunin. It wasn’t uncommon, usually concerned friends or teammates wanting to come to give character testimonials about the applicant to help support their transfer case. Chiyojo hadn’t personally met Maito Gai before, though she knew of him from the village grapevine, and as far as she could tell, that was what this meeting would be about. The two had been on the same mission when Mizuki’s injury occurred, according to their paperwork and everything the teacher had heard about Gai led her to the conclusion that he’d be supportive of a teammates career change.

In her time as an academy teacher, Chiyojo’s experience with jounin were usually confined to determining genin teams and handing over academy files and assessments to said genin sensei. She knew well enough the eccentricities of some jounin, it was something of a joke among career chuunin, that you never quite did enough to get promoted in order to preserve your own sanity. Most everyone knew of Maito Gai’s bombastic reputation even if they hadn’t met him--So to see the man walk in with calm even steps and a frown threw Chiyojo a bit off her game.

“Shimura-san, I am Honored that you would see me on such short notice in regards to my teammates' application for a teaching position at the academy.” His voice boomed through the empty room. He certainly had the lungs of an orator, Chiyojo noted as she gestured for him to take a seat on the other side of her desk.

“It’s just Chiyojo, thank you. It’s nice to see a Jounin showing support for his injured subordinate. Mizuki’s application is still processing but as far as I’ve heard his background check has cleared,” She smiled warmly, it really was nice, and so was Gai from all the second-hand information she’d heard about him. It seemed like some of it was exaggerated, not the fashion sense but as an identical twin Chiyojo could appreciate the need to stand out in a sea of konoha blues.

It wasn’t an awkward or nervous movement per se as Gai settled in across from her. It was a stilted motion as if in any other situation it would have been accompanied by some sort of grander gesture but for now, he held himself back. It did nothing but raise Chiyojo’s hackles in concern, but she did not interrupt to demand an explanation, instead of letting the jounin speak at his own pace. “Ah, I appreciate your compliment but I am afraid that isn’t quite the reason that I’m here. It is regarding Mizuki’s application, but rather the fact that I have several concerns over his possible employment.”

Chiyjo’s smile dropped instantly and one hand busied itself pulling out Mizuki’s records and paperwork while the other snatched a red grading pen from behind her ear, “Please tell me any concerns you have, and be thorough; while I trust the chuunin in charge of these background checks there’s always room for human error and if we’ve made one then it needs to be fixed before it can affect our children.”

Finally, the smile she had been expecting the entire encounter burst onto his face--and she had to admit it was rather endearing in a way that reminded her of one of her students, “Absolutely! I Knew that The Nurturing Garden of Our Village Youth would take my concerns seriously. Thank You, Chiyojo-san!”

Well, her assessment of his oddities being over exaggerated was falling apart a bit, but he appeared to have his heart in the right place. Furthermore, given the fact that a jounin who certainly had better things to do than come to the academy on a weekday to report a concern he could have done through written means only furthered her positive opinion of him. “I take any and all concerns about those we allow to teach our children in Konoha. Please, don’t hold anything back, Gai-san.”

To say she had been expecting any of the information that Gai had to provide was an understatement. She knew he’d received his injuries from the ally of a missing-nin, and given her Uncle’s fixation and Gai’s presence in the mission she had been able to guess exactly which one. Young shinobi could be hardened enough but the idea that something he had said was provoking enough that the girl had crippled him while leaving his teammates virtually unharmed didn’t sit well with the jounin--And as she tore through seemingly minor complaints from former teammates in Mizuki’s files which had been previously brushed off in lieu of his otherwise spotless record, Chiyojo’s eyes narrowed.

Like hell she was going to let this man into Her academy, she’d break his legs a second time if he even looked too hard at the building. With the flourish that only a part-time desk ninja could accomplish Chiyojo notated and underlined every overlooked flaw and red flag within Mizuki’s application. The very end of his resume her eye caught one particular recommendation which she was almost certain was the reason for so many incidents lacking further investigation.

Dearest Darlingest Uncle Danzo.

The flash of killing intent for the briefest of moments was unintentional but the way the jounin before her immediately stiffened he’d noticed it. “Chiyojo-san?! I Fervently Apologize for Upsetting you with this information. Is it worse than I had anticipated?” And bless him, he actually did seem worried. Gods, some of the jounin running around these days were jokes, promoted toadies of her uncle’s but this man had heart and he’d spoken up in a village where that was an increasingly discouraged endeavor. Chiyojo would have to keep an eye out for Maito Gai, he was a good man.

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for, Gai-san. You have no idea how much I appreciate you coming to me, you’ve saved us a lot of grief by stopping this trainwreck of a human being from shoving his garbage pile of interpersonal complaints onto our staff.”

Like hell, she was going to make it easy for Uncle to shove some damned plant to keep an eye on her, or Hashirama forbid scout for his creepy little child soldier program that chewed up and spat out her broken mess of a sister. She couldn’t do anything immediately, she’d have to pull a few strings first, put her paperwork skills to use and dig up any records of Mizuki and see whether they were all scrubbed clean. If she could just get the names of his accusers then she could track them down and order some proper character interviews.

If her smile was a little sharper as she finally set her pen back down on her desk and steepled her fingers to lean her chin against them and get a better look at Gai, it wasn’t directed at him. The Shimura were a dour clan, and Chiyojo had always been the antithesis to the whole lot, but at that moment her smile could have matched her Uncle’s in the pure predatory glee of a hunter assured that its prey was walking directly into its trap and they only had to wait.

“On an unrelated note, Gai-san, have you ever considered signing up to become a jounin instructor?”

#lone wolf verse #shimura chiyojo. #maito gai.

[jamesginortonblog]

Spoilers after the break

Any concerns that Alex was planning to double cross Kleiman appear to be scotched as the pair sit in the blandly opulent environs of Geneva airport, Alex telling all as if to a father confessor about his encounter with Mendez. He assures Kleiman the only reason he did not contact him was that, fearing he would be blackmailed, he should abide by Mendez’s conditions. Kleiman conveys to Alex – in terms worthy of Mario Puzo – what he thinks about Mendez and his ilk. According to him, their trick is to make you think you are making all the decisions. Respectfully, Alex points out, isn’t that what you’re doing to me? Ah, replies Kleiman, kindler, gentler as ever: if you let me down, I won’t bury you. He promises to think about Mendez’s proposal.

To the somewhat porous borders of India/Pakistan, where heroin is smuggled through the fence in sausage-like links down a pipe. Easy when there’s absolutely no one around. Chopra receives the message by phone that a consignment of “1000 rupees” (1000 kilos) is on its way. He raises an eyebrow.

Back in London, the atmosphere at chez Dimitri remains brittle and frosty following his infidelity. Oksana refuses to look him in the eye when toasting Alex and Rebecca’s engagement. Katya takes umbrage that Dimitri has served sparking wine rather than champagne and insists on going out to buy the real thing. All this misery feels like a caviar-esque, Russian speciality. “You have spat on my soul,” Oksana later tells Dimitri.

If only Alex had not showered so long, showering perhaps to cleanse his soul as well as his body, he would not have at last aroused Rebecca’s suspicions when she hears a call come through on his secret second phone. Alex blurts something about this being new company policy but Karin, his compliance officer, is also narrowing her eyes at him, wondering why he is being so secretive about his password-protected “global fund”.

Alex lies his way out of that one in a very upper-English way, as if so affronted that it actually rings true to himself that he is anything other than blameless. Rebecca starts to probe, discovering via weather reports on Alex’s computer that he has been spending a lot of time in tax havens unbeknownst to her recently. She and Karin meet to share their concerns. She talks to Dimitri who politely refuses to hear anything ill of his son, a “good Godman”. She discusses his possible Kleiman involvement with her boss, Bloom, who says Alex is best steering well clear of the deeply unsavoury Mr K.

As for Alex, he decides to meet Tobe Miller, a former IT specialist turned hacker with a Klaus Kinski-esque air, sallow from spending 20 hours a day in front of a screen. He wants to re-hire him to cover his IT tracks. Miller agrees and also puts him in contact with a hacker friend in Bangalore.

Kleiman has passed on Alex’s information to Dilly and his posse and they get to work, the antithesis of well-dressed banker/criminals operating discreetly from afar. They are street people, hands dirty and clueless about the computer world. Their surveillance of Chopra, involving a small telescope from a rooftop across the road depends, in time-honoured TV surveillance tradition, of the subject of their attention never looking up. This he doesn’t, despite the sarees flapping on the line behind his observers.

However, on breaking into Chopra’s compound, they muscle and fumble their way towards a devastating breakthrough. First, they persuade at gunpoint a late-working accountant to hack Chopra’s computer for information to stage a heist, then shoot him dead for his troubles (“You’re a good man. I’ll look after your family.”) Next, they hook up forcibly with the Bangalore hacker Miller put Alex’s way. Waving aside his protests, they have him hack further into Chopra’s phone and email accounts, and then into his operation via hacking into, of all things, a chocolate vending machine, to piggyback on the internet to determine precisely which container holds Vadim’s heroin. Once established, they manage to cancel the shipment then seize the container which, according to the computer, never left the country. A text to Alex: It’s done. You feel the kick inside Alex is starting to get from this crime stuff.

Rebecca, however, is not bedazzled. She confronts Alex. Why has he been spending so much time in sordid tax havens? Did he do proper diligence tests on Kleiman? Alex has no choice but to confess, partially. But now he promises he will cut Kleiman loose. “I’ll come clean,” he says, though he’s doing the opposite - he’s going dirty. Rebecca reminds him reproachfully of their conversations about “moral integrity” in capitalism, an illusion that still shines true for her. Alex goes Bryan Adams; “everything I’ve done I’ve done for you.” - and his family.

Meanwhile, with some hack-work of his own, Vadim has tracked down Benes, having arranged for his daughter to be arrested at a nightclub. The ensuing call she makes to her father allows them to access his information, among which is the contact he made with Kleiman in Prague. So now Vadim knows. There is also an awkward conversation with Chopra concerning the heroin heist, the upshot of which is that Chopra’s corpse is found among a pile of garbage bags somewhere in Mumbai. Mate, if you’d just looked up when they were pointing that telescope at you …

Additional notes

No updates on Boris’s killer in the basement of Mendez’s villa. Presumably he’s still dangling there, feeling rather sorry for himself.

You have to pity poor Katya’s boyfriend, Femi. His whole life seems to be spend perched awkwardly on the edge of a tense family situation. Will he get out, while he’s still young?

Shrewd on Kleiman’s part to insist that Alex decide whether the heist should go ahead, implicating him, not allowing him to feel at arm’s length from the criminality.

Another Godfather reminder: Vadim’s justification for killing a cop (“a thief!”) despite Ilya’s qualms reminds of Michael Corleone’s line: “Where does it say that you can’t kill a cop?”

So, is the cat now truly out of the bag for Alex with Rebecca and Karin? Are Vadim and Kleiman heading for a showdown? There’s all to play for in the second half of this series.

#mcmafia #James Norton #recap #mcmafia 1x4

[blogwritetheworld]

December Spotlight: To Show and to Tell

by Lisa Hiton

My birthday is July 4th. A celebratory day in the USA, filled with fireworks, parades, and family BBQs. And since my birth, every year on July 3rd, my mom sits with me and tells the story of how I chose my own birthday as we look through a photo album from that time. It was clear to the doctors that my mom would likely need a C-section, as I would weigh in at 10lbs 4oz, but being my mom’s firstborn, she didn’t want to choose my birthday. Nearly ten days past her due date, it might surprise you that she swiftly attributed a “stomach ache” to a pie she’d eaten at a July 3rd party...

Thirty years later, she still tells me the story of how I chose my birthday—how she missed the fireworks that year, and how firework displays now hold so much symbolism for both of us. And she shows me the photos—my lithe mom carrying a huge baby. Though it’s not written on paper, the story feels written—I know the order of events, the timing of the jokes, and how the fireworks have literal and symbolic meanings throughout the telling.

We often think of our first encounters with stories in books. And yet, our lives are writing themselves all along. And if we are lucky, we have great storytellers around us who not only remember the plots and scenes of a life, but can tell them with panache. As writers, we must do that on the page. Especially when we want to make something permanent and beautiful from our own experiences. Personal essays take these parts of our lives and weave them into something artful and literary—helping us make sense of our experiences here on earth.

TO SHOW AND TO TELL

A common phrase used to critique or edit a writer’s work is “show, don’t tell”. For example, if you’re writing about a character who is sad she received a rejection letter from her first-choice college, you might be tempted to write:

“Juniper was devastated to be rejected from NYU.”

Now, at face-value, the sentence isn’t terrible. It’s grammatically correct, well punctuated, and likely true. However, I might suggest to a writer that they “show, don’t tell” the reader about the scene. Instead of telling the reader that Juniper is “devastated”, the writer might instead give the whole anecdote:

“Juniper raced to the mailbox after school. As she grabbed the pile of envelopes, the one letter she wanted sat right on top: a small envelope from NYU. She stared at the school’s crest in the corner, which turned to a blur, as she ripped it open, knowing full-well what it said inside.”

Sure, it’s longer. But this depiction shows the moment of devastation without ever having to state how Juniper feels. When writing personal essays, it’s important to do both of these things. Though you might not want to state outwardly how Juniper feels, you might follow up a scene like this one with some connective tissue that help the reader weave this real-life situation into something a bit more artful. In this sense, to show is to paint the scene, to tell is to confess something to your reader—to draw for the reader connections they might not be able to make outside of the experience of your own life.

AN EARL [OF ESSAYS] AMONG US

Nonfiction is often remarked as the “stepchild of serious literature” by critics and literary snobs alike. Personal essays seem like the antithesis of serious reading and writing: they show and tell, they don’t follow formal rules of structure or narrative arc, and they can sound as colloquial as my mom telling my birth story. But it’s precisely these traits that make writing personal essays so very difficult to write. In order for a reader to feel as though they are sitting with my mom, listening to her tell a funny, heartfelt story about her firstborn child, a lot of work must be done.

Phillip Lopate, director of Columbia University’s creative writing program and one of the most celebrated, living personal essayists of our time has explored this phenomenon deftly in his anthology on personal essays, The Art of The Essay, and his follow-up book on crafting personal essays, To Show and to Tell. In To Show and to Tell, Lopate grapples with the rules and boundaries of essays. As an example, an entire chapter is called “The Essay: Exploration or Argument?”. Especially as we look at different essays, this question can help frame our understanding of the genre. Sometimes, essays make a case for a particular idea or belief. But other times, telling a story can lead the writer astray, to something unplanned. Think about it: even within the world of nonfiction, there are different subsets—biography, autobiography, memoir, personal essay to name a few. And each of these has its own set of goals, rules, and structures. In The Art of the Essay, Lopate paints the core values of the genre for the reader:

The hallmark of the personal essay is intimacy.. The writer seems to be speaking directly in your ear, confiding everything from gossip to wisdom. Through sharing thoughts, memories, desires, complaints, and whimsies, the personal essayist sets up a relationship with the reader, a dialogue—a friendship, if you will, based on identification, understanding, testiness, and companionship.

At the core of the personal essay is the supposition that there is a certain unity to human experience. As Michel de Montaigne, the great innovator and patron saint of personal essayists, put it, “Every man has within himself the entire human condition.” This meant that when he was telling about himself, he was talking, to some degree, about all of us. The personal essay has an implicitly democratic bent, in the value it places on experience rather than status distinctions.

(Lopate, xxiii)

Lopate’s books help writers decipher the work before them and approach each story with both anecdotes and a sense of artful organization. Unlike other genres, personal essays allow us to show and tell—meaning we can give an anecdote and reflect on what has happened. That sense of reflection can allow us to think of our lives and the people in them as we might with a work of fiction. We can, in a personal essay, show what has happened and offer forgiveness, love, compassion, and the like as the narrator is also the writer.

To Show and to Tell: The Craft of Literary Nonfiction by Phillip Lopate: To Show and to Tell weaves Lopate’s trade secrets with anecdotes about teaching writing and life. From turning yourself into a character, to understanding what kind of personal essay you might be writing, this craft book is useful to writers at every level.

The Art of the Personal Essay: An Anthology from the Classical Era to the Present ed by Phillip Lopate: Covering over 400 years of personal essays, Lopate’s anthology brings readers into the lives of Joan Didion, James Baldwin, Gore Vidal, Virginia Woolf, Jorge Luis Borges, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Adrienne Rich, Henry David Thoreau, George Orwell, Samuel Johnson, Plutarch, Ou-Yang Hsiu, Michel De Montaigne, and more. With arrangements by theme and form, readers and writers can begin to see the breadth and depth of this genre across time and nations.

PERSONAL FAVORITES

As far as personal essays go, there are so many I love that it is hard to select just a few. From different writers, to different subjects, there are just so many thoughts and feelings about how we interact with the world around us that I’ve decided to honor a handful of essays available to you online. Here is a mini-anthology of essays to read, with prompts to pair. As you write your own personal essays, think about how these essays mirror their main subjects and characters—how the writer chooses to honor and champion their subject and why.

And so, dear writers, as you go into your own Decembers, remember that every detail, no matter how mundane or extraordinary, is part of our common human experience. And we look forward to reading all about it in the pages to come.

About Lisa

Lisa Hiton is an editorial associate at Write the World. She writes two series on our blog: The Write Place where she comments on life as a writer, and Reading like a Writer where she recommends books about writing in different genres. She’s also the interviews editor of Cosmonauts Avenue and the poetry editor of the Adroit Journal.

#write the world #lisa hiton #wtwspotlight #amwriting #writingtips #essay

[katherinelhughes]

A Car Accident in the Age of Impeachment

Dec. 11th—it’s becoming clear to me that I need to get some thoughts on paper before I can even hope to embrace any kind of holiday spirit.  It’s been a challenging few weeks.  I wrote my only other blog about a year ago, upon my return from a glorious trip to Ireland with my daughter.  I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression from that blog post.  No, Katherine is not all rainbows and unicorns.  Though I did see an astounding number of rainbows in Ireland, and I do have a Pillow Pet that is a rainbow unicorn.  But I digress…

It’s just that I’ve come to this really painful realization: IT’S US AGAINST THEM.  I know that this is the antithesis of the spirit of the holiday season.  But I’m going to need some kind of Scrooge-like epiphany right now to convince me otherwise.  I’m hoping that writing this blog will be the exorcism that gets this dangerous and demonic idea out of my head: it’s us against them.  

First, the car accident.  Nov. 5th—I’m traveling west on Touhy Avenue in a little stretch of Chicago that is between Niles and Park Ridge.  (…a fact that is meaningful only to Chicagoans)  Ahead of me I see a car pull slowly into my lane of traffic, and almost immediately veer into the oncoming lane, and back again.  Then I see the vehicle stopped on the side of the road, and as I pass, I see an elderly woman staring malevolently at me through the vehicle’s window.  Actually, I probably made up that part, in which the woman becomes this almost cartoonish representation of a mean old lady.  Maybe my psyche’s attempt to come to terms with what is about to happen…  Anyway, I’m relieved that she seems no longer to be a present danger on the road.  I come up to the next light, and as I sit there, reality suddenly shifts.  I hear and feel what I take at first to be an explosion, until I realize that someone has plowed into the rear end of my car.  It is of course the erratically-driving woman—my cartoon nemesis.  She has pushed my car into the car in front of me, but thankfully its occupants are unharmed.

I call to report the accident, which has already been reported by an off-duty officer who happens to be on the scene.  In minutes the police arrive and also, like circling vultures, a tow truck driver and the representative of the tow yard.  Both the police and the towing people are very solicitous, and want to be sure I’m okay.  And really, all things considered, I am.  I can’t say the same for the lady who hit me.  It becomes pretty clear that she is completely incapacitated, most likely by prescription med’s.  She is unable to answer the questions of the police, though she seems not to have sustained physical injuries, and they take her away in an ambulance.  The tow truck people are hovering around me, anxious to take my car away, but I insist on waiting until my husband arrives.  As we’re waiting, they open the lady’s car door and show me a gallon plastic bag filled with pill bottles.  On the passenger seat, in plain view.

And by the way, tow yards are a scam.  My car sat in that lot, racking up charges, until Nov. 11th.  The lot’s owner rarely answered his phone, and its hours were only 10 AM to 2 PM.  Remember the Steve Goodman song “Lincoln Park Pirates” about the infamous Lincoln Towing Service?  I should have been paying more attention!

Okay, I won’t draw out the details of the accident any further—you saw the picture.  It has become this script I deliver anyway, and I’m frankly ready for some new material.  And you’re probably wondering, it’s us against them, car accident, impeachment?  Where is she going with this?

In the aftermath of the accident, I am catching bits and pieces of the Intelligence Committee impeachment hearings on my rented car’s radio.  Some impressions of what I hear: 

Nov. 15th—Marie Yovanovitch, ambassador to Ukraine, reminds me of Christine Blasey Ford.  A very reasonable but somewhat soft-spoken woman.  Just the kind of woman that Donald Trump and his ilk like to bully.  Oh, I probably forgot to say how much I despise Donald Trump.  As a true liberal (Come on guys, can’t we all just get along?), it’s very painful to have to admit despising someone.  I give Nancy Pelosi kudos for praying for him—I’m not quite there on my journey toward enlightenment…

Nov. 20th—Gordon Sondland, ambassador to the EU: “(President Zelensky) loves your ass!”  Seriously?  And as journalist Ana Kasparian noted, hey, doesn’t the EU ambassador position cost at least $6 million? 

Nov.  21st—My new hero, Fiona Hill!  The way she squashes that ridiculous theory about Ukraine’s involvement in the 2016 election.  And that northeastern-England accent—simply delightful!  Yes, she’s from a coal-mining town, and her father lost his livelihood when the coal mines shut down.  Other countries in the developed world are shutting down their coal operations.  Not the US—our president ran on the promise of bringing back coal jobs!!!  Sorry, again I digress.

But my impression overall of the hearings?  It’s us against them.  Democrats versus Republicans.  What, did they all do debate team in high school?  Decide which side you’re on, and say ANYTHING you have to say to support that side’s position?  Of course I see the Republicans’ argument as completely bogus—that what Trump did doesn’t rise to high crimes and misdemeanors.  I think he should be impeached and then convicted by the senate.  It ain’t happening though.  Why?  Because it’s us against them.  Democratic control of the House and Republican control of the Senate. 

Until we have a multi-party system of government, we will be forever locked in this battle.  And until we admit that our system of government is a money-power oligarchy, we will never change the fact that most of us in this country are without true representation.  And by the way, I have to laugh at the “framers-of-the-constitution” talking point that the Democrats trot out constantly.  Oh yeah, that little group of money-power oligarchs that wrote our sacred document?  Donald Trump is only one in a long line of wealthy men who have wielded great power in this land.  Ooh, better go hug my unicorn pillow and calm down a bit!

But it’s not just in the political sphere that I’m feeling the us-against-them dynamic.  The whole car accident experience was fraught with it.  I certainly felt that I was in an adversarial position with my own insurance company.  Since they declared my car totaled, they had to give me an estimate of its value.  To them, it was not worth much—to me, it was invaluable.  Because the car was ten years old, and had about 153,000 miles on it, I didn’t even get enough to buy a lesser car—we had to fork over extra money to buy a replacement car that is two years older and not a hybrid.  Thankfully, I was coached not to accept the first offer I got, or we would have received even less. 

Memorable comments I got when I related my insurance woes: “Insurance companies are evil incarnate,” and “Most individuals walk away bloodied after an encounter with one.”  And I do know that I should be grateful that I didn’t walk away literally bloodied.  Just some bruises on my knees, and maybe some different pain in my back and shoulders.  Hard to be sure since this season can be hard on us violin-players anyway…

A little aside about cars.  I have always prided myself on avoiding attachment to earthly possessions—cars in particular.  I’m serious about this journey-toward-enlightenment thing.  But I think I actually had to mourn the loss of this car.  Maybe that’s normal—I don’t know since I’ve never had a car totaled before.  It was a red ’09 Toyota Camry Hybrid.  I am thankful that it gave its life so that I might be saved…

We’re always reminded to drive defensively, and believe me, I have wondered if there was something I could have done to avoid the accident.  But the thing that really bothers me is that this defensive posture extends to other areas beyond driving.  The us-against-them conflict seems to play out in so many arenas.  I feel that I’m having to relentlessly advocate for my own interests with the companies that are “providing services” for me.  I don’t like this defensive stance.  I resent the energy it requires—it could be used in much more creative ways.  Yeah, I’m talking to you, Cigna.  And you, Verizon.  And—well, the list goes on.

Dec. 11th—the impeachment hearings have continued into the Judiciary Committee and beyond, and there is deadlock in that particular us-against-them impasse.  Is the impeachment exercise also a waste of energy?  It’s hard to imagine that it will do anything but ramp up the animosity between the two sides.  I guess it has to be done for the sake of our democracy—oh right, I said we’re a money-power oligarchy, so never mind.  Meanwhile I will bury my head in the iridescent fur of my rainbow unicorn.  I want to believe that we’re all in this together.  Still waiting for that ghostly visit that will turn my head around before Christmas…

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 16

Jimmy and Nick got the king just where they wanted. The boy genius did all the talking, while Nick just stood beside his friend. Jimmy discussed the people, the finances, and the benefits of serving the community. Jason was really getting into the proposal, from how the boys were looking at it. He seemed to be interested, and he even didn't ask any questions, which would've gave the boys an opportunity to dig for his interests like Jimmy intended to.

It was a lot easier than they expected to be. Maybe this king really is dumb. Jason just sat his big behind down on that throne, smiling and agreeing to all their notions. He even threw in some compliments. Despite all the positivity they've gained so far, Nick was sweating from the inside of his armor. If Jimmy screws this up, then they could have another appointment. ...with a noose.

"So, may we have your opinion?" Asked Jimmy.

The king continued to sit there, widely smiling, and staying silent. Jimmy snapped his fingers in his face to awaken him.

"Oh, you're done? I mean, how staggering! I am quite hath moved by this presentation thee put forward! Grant you mercy to thee, gentlemen, I has't now did look upon the errors of my ways. My lord, so many unhappy individuals! They do very much misprise me yond much?" Said Jason. "Yeah. One of our friends mentioned they wanted to turn you into a skin suit." Replied Nick, before being nudged by Jimmy. "Goodness! I've just about heard enough! I won't stand for this injustice any longer! As the king, it is mine own responsibility to give what is best for my people! What have I become? I has't forgotten the wise words my father bestowed upon me: Make the world great again!" "Oooookay. Does that mean we have your approval?" Asked Jimmy. "Absolutely!" "You hear that, Nic-" -"Aaaa! BUT, on one condition!" "Huh?" "I've agreed on your half of the bargain, now it's time you hear mine. And before you bring up any more questions, we shall discuss this over dinner tomorrow."

Jimmy and Nick shot a glance at each other, confused. So it's just too good to be true, eh?

"Can... ...we invite some friends?" Asked Jimmy. "I'd be delighted if you brought your friends. As many friends as you please. As long as they don't disturb us while we're talking about: THE DEAL."

Suddenly, a loud boom was heard. Jimmy, Nick, Jason, and Richard followed the sound, and there was Diana in the main hall, fending off a few guards, with a huge hole in the wall behind her. Everyone soon stopped when the king was present.

"Jimmy! Nick! You're alright! Sorry to make a scene, boys, but it's been an hour and I thought it was now my time to take action, just like you said!" Said Diana. "Your greatness, pardon her manners. She's with us." Jimmy noted to the king. "This thing- I mean, she's one of your friends?" Asked Jason. "Yeah. I know it may seen strange, given the high age gap and all." Replied Nick.

Jason winched an eye at Diana. He didn't know this giant was a woman. Sure, she had the face for it, but a body like that shouldn't belong to a female, he thought. And she also dressed very masculine, opposed to the normal womanly attire, such as dresses or gowns. Judging by that hole in the wall, which he can assume she made herself, and the way she easily fended his guards, she was strong. Very strong. Like Hercules. Women aren't suppose to be strong. Once again, the king forced a smile on his face.

"Heh heh, don't worry about the wall, gentlemen. I'll get the royal carpenter on that." Said the King. "Wait, I have a few questions about this favor!" Asked Jimmy. "During dinner, my boy! During dinner! Wear your best cloak! Richard, order the staff to release the drawbridge!"

The drawbridge then descended, leading to an opening out for our young heroes. Butterscotch was outside, playing poker with a random knight. As the stallion spotted his owner and the two boys, he abandoned his game and galloped over to them. Before they were ready to leave, Diana helped both Jimmy and Nick up on the horse's back, then spoke to King Jason for the first time.

"Sooooooo, you're the king. The one who got a lot of people hanged, for the littlest crimes. Well... You... ...certainly look more... ...handsome than I pictured."

King Jason was not pleased with the brawny woman's words. Another thing he wanted to add about what he didn't like about this woman: She had a personality, which is apparently something a woman should never have. However, he would've been more upset if he knew she was lying right now. His appearance alone made Diana cringe. Even if he's not that bad in the eyes, it's his priorities that make him ugly. This is a man who resorted to harsh punishments, and left the needy in poverty. Her, Benson, and Rodent Girl are unemployed, and are driven to the farthest area away from the village because of him. She would do anything to punch him in his stupid face on spot.

"Are you alright, madam?" Asked Jason. "Huh?" Replied Diana. "You've been staring at me for two whole minutes, with that weird look in your eye." "Oh. Uh, your greatness... It's just that pretty mug of yours! How could anyone look away?" "Well, stop that! It's blamed disturbing!" "Your wish is my command!"

After a short bow, Diana turned around with a change of expression. The four then journeyed away, and the king waved goodbye.

"You see, Nick? Hook, line, and sink 'em." Said Jimmy under his breath. "I just can't believe we made it out of there with our lives."

................................

While making their way to the hut, Nick felt the trip was getting a little too quiet, so he decided to entertain everyone by summarizing the plot of his favorite movie; Insect-Man: Around The Bug-Verse.

"As the stranger was about to lay a finger on Miley, whom she presumed was the Growler, she acted fast by knocking them out with an unexpected wasp sting she didn't know she had until now. After that, she decided to examine the unconscious body out of curiosity. To her shock, the stranger looked none other than Frankie Fender, the original Insect-Man! Only older. And he was fat. Also bald. Not that bald. 'But how?' she thought. 'That's impossible! He's supposed to be dead! I was there when The Don dispatched him with the biggest can of bug repellent money could buy!'"

Jimmy was really getting into the plot, even Butterscotch, although he was confused over the mentions of modern technology and chemical engineering. Diana, however, wasn't paying attention. She only had one thing on her mind.

"(Punch Jason. Punch Jason. Punch Jason. Punch Jason. Punch Jason. Punch Jason. Punch Jason.)"

............................

18 minutes later, hut sweet hut. Benson was watering the crops, and Rodent Girl was napping in them with her rat friends. Nick continued to discuss the plot with Jimmy as they got off of Butterscotch.

"And that's how it ends. Miley Moraze carried on the legacy of a deceased superhero by living as Insect-Girl. And what makes her feel better about taking this job is knowing she is not alone. ...as long as there's 50 different multiverses with 50 different Insect-People in them. The end." "Wow. What an interesting story. I feel like I wanna see it for myself, despite that you pretty much spoiled the whole plot. Eh, I could probably just erase my memory." "It's no longer playing in theaters, but it did release on Bloo-Raid recently! Plus an extended viewing of the film in the special features!" "Hey, did the older Frankie ever make up with his wife back in his universe?" "Nah. He realized he never really loved her, and now he's on the rebound indefinitely." "Sounds like he had the right notion. As for Miley and Kevin (aka the Spectacular Firefly), I wish it would've worked out for them. They seemed like a good, healthy couple." "Yeah. (FOR CHRIST SAKES, BOY! CAN'T WE LET TWO MAIN CHARACTERS OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER BE FRIENDS FOR ONCE?!)" "And the whole conceptual, about a suppercollider that is competent of opening portals to multiple parallel universes antithesis from ours. Theoretically, it can be dangerous to perform in real life just as it’s performed in fiction. But I’d like to try it someday. *Silent evil laughter*” "Please don't. I'm not ready to meet another me."

Rodent Girl then woken up as cold water hit her face. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was Jimmy and Nick. Excited, she got up and scurried towards them.

"Was the mission a success?" Asked Rodent Girl. "Like giving a monkey a banana!" Replied Jimmy. "So I guess that means employment is open to us, right?! And meat won't be pricey anymore?!" "Not quite yet. You see, the king asks for something in return, and wants to discuss it over dinner tomorrow." "'In return?' What could the king want- Could he be looking for an heir? All his lovers have vainly delivered nothing but girls. Or he needs a transfusion! Rumor has it that his body is soon ready to give out. If that's the general case, better off leaving this deal, cuz nature will eventually take its course anyways." "I don't know. He hasn't told us yet. Although, it could be one of those two options, judging by the weird look he gave us from our first encounter." "I'd rather donate blood to this man than let him be my dad. (Two bad dads are already too many)" Said Nick.

Benson butted into the conversation.

"Was he as viled as the people proclaimed?" "I can't find an answer to that. He's been nice to us this whole time." Replied Jimmy. "Even though we broke into his castle and got caught imitating his staff." Also, replied Nick. "You got caught trespassing and yet made a good impression on him?! (You lucky bastards!) Are you sure he hasn't arranged for a hanging?" "Nope!" Both replied. "Was he white?" Rodent Girl butted in again. "... Why do you want to know about his race?" Asked Jimmy. "Because the biggest birtbags only turn out to be white, DUH." "Yeeeeeeeaaaaaah, he was most definitely white." Replied Nick. "I KNEW IT!"

Then Diana butted in.

"And do we really have to dine with this tyrant? Those three minutes of interaction felt like hell to me. You had no idea how much strength I had to restrain myself with! I'm physically strong, not mentally!" "We need to give off a positive impact on the man by attending as a big happy family. And besides... We're still a little nervous doing it on our own. If it makes you feel better, you don't have to eat his food!" Said Jimmy. "Do, we have to dress formally for this event? Like, the men wear suits, and the women wear dresses?” "He didn't mention a dress code of some kind. So guess it's a causal dinner? Heh heh." "*Deep breaths* Okay. If it's for the sake of the people and ours, I'll try to buck up. But I'm not gonna eat his food!" "I've already suggested that." "And we can't tell or invite Mitzi!" Said Nick. "Why?" "Beeeeeeeecause... We wanna surprise her! The woman has been salty towards me and my friend since our first arrival, and it looks as though she still isn't warming up to us. We wanna prove that she's been wrong about us this whole time by showing what a excellent deed we've done! It will do her heart good!" "It doesn't seem right to exclude Mitzi. We're a family! Which means we all sit at the same table together, and no exceptions!" "Trust me, Di! Everyone loves surprises!" "But, Mit-" "Everyone loves surprises!" "We can't just-" "Everyone loves surprises!" "I-" "EVERYONE LOVES SURPRISES!" Shouted Jimmy, forcing a smile. "Okay."

Actually, Jimmy and Nick had an obvious good reason to exclude Mitzi. It's bad enough she thinks they're spawns of Satan in disguise, looking for a juicy victim to take prisoner, but if she were to find out about their proposal, she might accuse them of being in cahoots with the king. Everyone hates the king. Except the wealthy.

"Speaking of dinner... BENSON! Could you reheat some moose?!" Screamed Diana. "I'm getting tired of moose." Nick whispered.

..............................

[*14 hours earlier, in another time*]

It was time to investigate the Neutron household for clues.

"Libby, I just said I don't wanna be involved! Just looking at it brings me bad memories." Said Sheen. "C'mon, Sheen! I could really use your help right now! Carl won't assist, and neither will Cindy! ...for obvious reasons." Begged Libby. "Well, you turned to the wrong guy, my pet! It's not like it's that any difficult for one person! I mean, you're a woman, aren't you? Femmes such as yourself are born smart, independent, and courageous! Because... ...women are superior to men! Maybe not in strength, but in all redeeming qualities! As for me, a man, would just slow you down! As a matter of fact, I slow everyone down! Jimmy, Carl, Nick, Butch, Dad, Jimmy's parents, Cindy's parents, speed racers, Miss Fowl-"

Libby then planted a quick peck on Sheen's right cheek. Not to shut him up, but to win him over. Sheen was silent for a moment, then his face blushed a bright red. His heart was pounding in his chest. He slowly turned his gaze to Libby, who was smiling at him, and batting her eyelashes. Darn, women have triumphed again. Sheen dashed out of sight for a moment, and then returned just in time wearing a Sherlock Holmes costume, with a bubble pipe.

"The game is afoot."

Libby knocked on the door, and Hugh answered. Boy, did he look awful. His hair was a mess, he was shaky, and he had a few flyers glued onto him. It's like he hasn't slept for days.

"Children, you for do I can what?" Said Hugh, and his dialogue was reversed. "Hi. Is... ...your wife home?" Asked Libby. "Flyers more attaching, town the in out is booger sugar, no! Son our find help to anything!" "Okay. We're-just-gonna-walk-right-in."

Libby and Sheen picked up their feet and ran inside. They knew Hugh wouldn't try to stop them.

"Home at yourselves make!"

Hugh wasn't the only mess around here. The house looked like it hasn't been cleaned in days. There were mountains, and mountains of paper. You couldn't see the floor anymore. There was a photocopy machine in the living room, printing an endless supply of flyers. The kitchen and dining room littered with Chinese takeout pails, a few pizza boxes, soda cans and water bottles, and an empty tube of chocolate ice cream. The mess attracted a few minor pests. Sheen studied the scene with his magnifying glass. Libby's guess for this catastrophe, Judy either had no time to cook, or was too depressed to. Also, nuts and bolts scattered around the house. She knows where those came from. The poor family is under a spiral.

"Where were you on the night of June the third?" Sheen questioned a sitting fly, with his magnifying glass up close. "Sheen, you're talking to a fly. Don't tell me you've lost it, too." Moaned Libby. "How do we KNOW this is some ordinary fly? Jimmy has enemies, remember? The most intense loss scenes happen with the least likely slimeball you'd ever suspect! Maybe, they could've cleverly transformed themself into this tiny insect by extracting the DNA of a normal housefly, and injected those deliberate genes into their blood stream, thus manipulating their shape and form! Supermodel once did this in Ultralord #153. Or, if my second opinion is correct, this is actually a robotic spy cam! You listening there? Professor Calamitous? Or King Goobot? Or the Junkman? Or Beautiful Gor-"

Libby then swatted the fly dead.

"Let's move on already."

The duo decided to checked Jimmy's bedroom. Sheen told Libby to halt for a moment. The boy opened the door slightly, carefully observing the contents of the room. After that, he opened the door wide and said

"All clear! M'lady."

Feeling slightly annoyed, Libby walked in. Jimmy's bedroom was the cleanest room in the house. Libby checked under the bed. All he had under there were textbooks from the four previous school years. Weird. Libby then went to look into the drawers next, like last time, until Sheen stopped her.

"Woah woah woah woah, miss! This seems like a dangerous task!" "I'm opening drawers." "Libby, I am not taking a risk on whatever disturbing thing your beautiful chocolate orbs could meet! Let your future hubby in on the case. Don't worry, you'll still have something to do. You could dust for fingerprints! ...cuz maybe someone else has been here before us! ...on the day of the big headed boy's disappearance!" "You didn't mind me doing that while we were searching Nick's bedroom." "Ah, but that was before the smooch, babeh gurl.*Kissy lips*"

To avoid, Libby decided to just let Sheen do his thing. First, Sheen dug into the nightstand drawer, throwing items carelessly. He found some used forgotten inventions, prototypes that were never completed, old school supplies, a binder, and a dispenser bottle, bearing Jimmy's signature atom insignia, labeled "child-friendly testosterone gel." He must use this to boost his macho flare, Sheen thought. Egotistic blastard.

Next, he looked into the closet. All he found were clothes and shoes. Every outfit consisted of a red t-shirt and pair of jeans, but as he walked further into the closet, he noticed a distinctive sky blue color behind the end of the row of clothes. It was a blue dress with a big bow on the back. The dress also happened to have pockets. Curious, since Sheen has never seen a dress with pockets before, he reached into them. One pocket was empty, but the other held a golden name necklace that read Jamie.

"(I don't know who this Jamie is, but she's probably the REAL cause behind Jimmy and Cindy's breakup! He found love for a new girl. A prettier, prettier, possibly rich too, girl. And since her dress is in his room, they must really be hitting it off. Man, he's such a horrible person.)"

Last thing to examine was the boy genius's dresser. Like with the nightstand, he tossed whatever he found over his shoulder. The top drawers contained underwear and socks, the middle drawers kept formal clothing that are only to be worn for special occasions, and the bottom drawers were just extra room for more of Jimmy's belongings. The first bottom drawer had the usual: Techno nerdy junk. Inventions he may never use again. Like the Forgetto Blaster. Or the Memory Implanter. The second, however, it was filled with photos. Photos that are considered treasured memories to the boy genius.

Sheen shuffled the pictures to look for anything questionable. Only one photo left Sheen curious: Mr. and Mrs. Neutron were posing with a little girl, who appeared to be very young, and wore the same dress Sheen found in the closet. Her brown hair was tied into a ponytail, and she had sapphire blue eyes, which were very identical to Jimmy's. Everyone was smiling, except for the little girl. The photo was old as well. Okay, if Jimmy didn't leave Cindy for another girl, then who is she? Why hasn't Sheen seen or heard of her before?

The rest of the photos were just of Jimmy with his family, and most were of him with his friends. Especially... ...his favorite two other amigops.

Jimmy photographed every happy moment they had together. Some took place during parties. Some took place at Retroland. Some took place on another planet. And some took place in areas little kids aren't suppose to be left unsupervised at. All their smiles looked natural, and not forced. They sure had a hella good run. Sheen picked up a photo of an event that happened three years ago: His 10th birthday party.

Every kid was invited to Sheen's party. Even Cindy. Hugh was playing pin the tail on the donkey with the kiddies. Butch was breaking down the pinata, and it wasn't for the candy. Carl would sneakily dip his finger into the cake frosting. Nick... He'd just loiter and look good. It was an Ultralord themed birthday party, which he has every year. It had everything that could make the now 10 year-old happy, but one thing was missing.

The actor, to play Ultralord, called in to tell Sheen's father that he had to cancel his appointment due to an appendicitis. When Mr. Estevez  broke the bad news to Sheen, he began to cry like a five year-old. The crying started to irritate Nick, so he left the party. And when Nick leaves, everyone follows. Jimmy felt sorry for his friend. So then, he requested Goddard to project a holographic simulation of said superhero, and spoke into a microphone that modulizes his voice. Sheen saw Ultralord, stopped crying, and regained his happiness. Unfortunately, as he embraced his favorite hero into a hug, he fell right through him, and then caught Jimmy and Goddard puppeteering the act. Somehow, Sheen didn't feel angry, or sad again. He seemed blessed of his best friend trying to make him feel better.

So much has changed since then. He can't believe Jimmy keeps these  memories. In this day and age, he would have expected he'd throw them away. However, Sheen still refuses to see that Jimmy still cares for him and Carl. He's been very rude and inconsiderate. Carl probably knows Jimmy better than him, since he's by his side most of the time. He should ask him. Oh. Wait. Earlier, Carl was pretty peeved about the way Sheen underestimated Jimmy. The allergy boy is just so attached to Jimmy, despite that he and Sheen were together before the boy genius came into their lives. As a matter of fact, Carl also blocked Sheen on their text chat. It's officially over. He probably won't speak to him again. Sheen put his two hands together, and began to pray.

Dear big guy, although some say you might be a woman, up in the sky: I know I promised I wouldn't ask for any more favors after I wished my NOTP, Ultralord x Sue Mari, would never become canon, but now, this is down to earth serious. Besides, you kinda owe me for not making my last prayer come true. (I am very, very disappointed) I need proof. Proof that Jimmy Neutron still loves his best friends very much. Like, when he returns from wherever the heck he is, he'll greet us both with a loving hug, and an apology to add. Just for a bonus, could you have him agree to watch 395 episodes of Ultralord on CageFlix with me? Amen!

"Sheen, what are you doing?"

Sheen accidentally spoke his prayers out loud.

"Uhhhhhhh... Nothing! I'm doing nothing! This is a waste of time! Let's just go home!" "But what about the mess?!" "Don't worry! We could always just blame someone!"

#Jimmy Neutron #Boy Genius #Nick Dean #Cindy Vortex #Libby Folfax #Carl Wheezer #Sheen Estevez #Season 4 #fanfic #adventure #romance #TVverse #TVEE

[godslonelycinephile]

Review - Logan

Those who know me know I don’t usually review superhero films, because honestly what’s the point? Those films are going to make disgusting amounts of money regardless of whatever is written about them. They have become, for better or worse, critic-proof. People are going to pay to see them even if they suck. I’ve only reviewed three superhero films up to this point. I’ve only felt compelled to write about them when they are either vomitous affronts to cinema (Man of Steel and The Amazing Spider-Man 2) or if they really surprised me with just how great they were (The Wolverine - James Mangold’s other superhero film, hey!). I’m not trying to hate, I love plenty of these films, but I watch them and know that they don’t need my help to find an audience. Logan is a rare thing of beauty in a saturated genre, a character driven search for empathy and mortality. It’s a reminder that these X-Men films can really be incredible if given to creative filmmakers who actually care about the material - (Matthew Vaughn resurrected the franchise with his fantastic First Class, and Mangold resurrected the character of Logan with The Wolverine) - and also aren’t named Bryan Singer.

Logan finds our titular character in an alternate, near-dystopic 2029 where mutants have been eradicated from society either by natural causes or by governmental task forces. Logan ekes out a living driving a limo under an alias, and taking care of a quasi-senile, dying Charles Xavier south of the border in secret. Laura, a young mutant child ends up in their care, and the three embark on a cross-country mission to evade a shadowy government organization hunting Laura.

James Mangold has always been superb at hopping genres and making the best of them. Every musical biopic since 2005 has had to answer to Walk the Line, and like I said before, his The Wolverine is such a wonderful surprise. 3:10 to Yuma remains, a decade later, one of the finest modern westerns. Even though he’s had many successful films, there’s just something about him that makes me feel like we severely undervalue him. Perhaps it’s his workmanlike, egoless manner of filmmaking that allows him to fade in the crowd of directors - he just makes it look so easy. But regardless, let’s give the man some praise, he’s a filmmaker that knows what he’s doing. He takes a character that seemingly can’t die and injects mortality and humanity into him. He made the action sequences in The Wolverine really gnarly for a PG-13 film, and earns the freedom of the R rating in Logan with how visceral and bloody he shoots his action scenes. There’s just something inherently great about watching Jackman slice through enemies, with Mangold framing in even and clean takes, but this film is just as repelled by its violence. There’s a lot of titillating decapitation done by our hero, but after each encounter Jackman and Mangold remind us how much all this death continues to erode Logan. This film draws a lot of inspiration, the most explicit reference being to the classic western Shane. At a certain point in the film I realized, “Oh my god, they’re remaking Children of Men with X-Men!” And you know what? It worked! Mangold achieves that feeling of a dour existence and the battle of trying to find hope in a world that can’t be fixed. Mangold cherry picks aspects from other films and comics, creating something wholly original - a rare feeling in a superhero film.

Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine is perhaps the greatest act of casting in a superhero film of all time. (J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson is the only other contender for the top spot) He just seems to understand the character and what makes him tick in a way nobody else theoretically could have. Even with the ensemble nature of many of the X-Men films, they all just seemed to gravitate towards him, he justifiably overtook each film. Let me put how great he is in the role this way - the only reason I’ve seen the awful X-Men Origins: Wolverine as many times as I have is because of how much I like watching Jackman in the role. He’s a different beast than we’ve seen before in Logan, a man who’s lived entire lifetimes ready to be done with it all. He wears the weight of all his killing in his limping walk. He’s a man out of reasons to live, done searching for hope in a world devoid of it. It’s magnificent work, and a terrific sendoff for a guy we’ve been watching play this character for 15 years.

Patrick Stewart definitely slides somewhere in the 3-5 spot in the superhero casting power rankings. He almost just felt born to play this character, it just seemed so natural for him, as if the amiability and humility of Charles Xavier was a mere extension of who Stewart is. Logan is not just a goodbye for Jackman, but for Stewart as well, and does his legacy justice. I’m of the opinion that child actors can make or break your film, and Dafne Keen definitely makes this one. Keen doesn’t talk for at least half the film, but she doesn’t have to to get you to gravitate towards her. She’s immediately a force of nature, having entire conversations with other characters with a single glare or fist clench. As much as this is Jackman’s film, it’s hers too. She more than holds her own against veterans like Jackman and Stewart.

There’s some great character actors to round out the cast. Boyd Holbrook is one of those actors I’m glad never became a leading man, because although he’s got the chops and the looks, he’s just so much better as a role player like he is here as Pierce, leader of the task force chasing them. There’s just something so slimy about him, yet he manages to make these villian traits authentic and immediate. Stephen Merchant takes a small role a long way. They actually take C-Level mutant character Caliban, who is typically only used as a plot device due to his ability to track mutants - and make him interesting! He’s gotten religious, trying to atone for all the mutants he helped the government track down and kill, and Merchant just sells you on his life of regret. Richard E. Grant always delivers, especially in slimy character like his, the doctor in charge of the experiments that created X-23/Laura.

Marco Beltrami is one of those composers that will do mediocre work for a good 3-5 years and then whip out something amazing to surprise you just because he can. His scores for 3:10 to Yuma and Snowpiercer are some of the most memorable of this century. Logan is his latest surprise, a violent, thrashing yet altogether somber work in how he dissects traditional western and superhero themes into something torn apart and incomplete.

Logan is a rare thing of beauty. In more ways than one it also works as an antithesis to the superhero film. The standard is to have all these young and hot people in the title roles, there’s always just a sexy sheen to it all. There’s not an ounce of that in Logan, and I’m so thankful for it. Logan is worn down, addicted to booze and pills. His skin doesn’t heal like it used to, he’s covered in scars and half-healed wounds, walking with a limp. Charles Xavier is losing his mind in old age, and having seizures that cause everyone in a football field radius to have a seizure too. Mangold takes his time with his film, allowing plenty of room for quiet character moments, not rushing to get to the next action scene. His film is about people, the fact that it’s titled Logan infers such. It’s about getting to the core humanity of this character, of seeing the ugly with the pretty. One of the great things about Logan is that it has a rare sense of finality flowing through it. This is the end, which is incredibly rare in a genre where each film’s purpose has become to only get you into the next film, a greedy revolving door. How refreshing is it, at this point, to not have a scene after the credits teasing the next film? Sometimes the only way forward is to say goodbye.

#Reviews #Logan #James Mangold #Hugh Jackman #Patrick Stewart #Dafne Keen #Marco Beltrami #Richard E. Grant #Boyd Holbrook #Stephen Merchant

[secondsofhappiness]

I must say the way you see things is really interesting . That anon the other day who said you were sardonic yet sweet nailed it. You come across as the kind of girl who is very sweet and would be really into all the mushy stuff but your hella cynical and kind of blunt and level headed with the way you see stuff and it's refreshing I love reading your opinions on stuff

Oh jeez… I feel like this is a character study!

Yeah, most people say that to me, weirdly. I mean, I’m really cheery and positive in real life and I am quite ‘girly’ - I wear a lot of cardigans and pink! So people have his thought that I’m one way and I guess I’m soft hearted and I like to see the good in people but where ‘love’ is concerned, I’m a bit of a bitch haha

I’ve got a decent amount of internal rage so angry stuff appeals hahaha - I love a good angsty shouty song or rant. I could watch Malcolm Tucker and his sweaty rants on a loop for all eternity!! I like bold, unapologetic, honest but kind people and I appreciate people who speak their mind and challenge so yeah, I have always gravitated towards that kind of person in real life.

When it comes to 'mushy stuff’, I guess I was different when I was a kid. I love a good rom com but now it has to be honest and real or else it bores me to death. I’m really not a great believer in soulmates or true love and I’m not even entirely certain I believe all of the hype especially as 90% of the relationships I encounter fail miserably and I don’t really fully believe in marriage… I’ll share in the joy of a wedding and find it very meaningful when people wish to commit and share their love but I don’t really think marriage is required and that people should necessarily think it’s logical to be with one person forever. It doesn’t seem like it’s sensible as people change and I am a MASSIVE believer that if you’re miserable and unhappy etc then you shouldn’t be sticking around and trying to make the best of it because that ain’t going to happen necessarily - people don’t tend to change. You either accept people as they are or you look after yourself and find happiness else where.

Yeah, I have very specific feelings on this stuff. I don’t think it’s all that it’s cracked up to be. I don’t need someone else’s issues in my life and I don’t think it’s fair to put someone in the position where they have to deal with mine. I don’t feel like I’d be very good at accommodating someone in my life even if I’d do anything for my friends/family, I am fiercely independent and I don’t need anyone at all. It’d be nice for someone to change all of that but I don’t believe it’s possible so I just don’t have that stuff in my life at all because it has never sat well with me and I don’t feel comfortable with it… so I tend to keep that stuff at arm’s length and live vicariously through others as they experience all these relationshippy things. I’ve been bridesmaid 3 times now and I’ve got another 3 stints lined up hahaha so yeah, I’m a bit of antithesis…

I’m glad you don’t think I’m hideously bitter or awful and I’m glad you like reading some of my nonsense!!

#LIFE #ask #I'm entirely sure I'm probably shaped by my experiences and that I most probably am not meant to be like this #but hey ho

[mrfippstuff]

I’m going to talk about RWBY V4

Because why not?

A bit late to the party I suppose, but everyone is doing it and I do have some thoughts on Volume 4 of RWBY, so I thought I might as well get some things off my chest. I’ll be starting from what I disliked the most and work my way up from there.

Blake’s Story

To be perfectly honest I found Blake’s share of the volume to be somewhat unbearable, it doesn’t really offer anything new for her, it’s just a retread of what she went through the in the first three volumes: she runs away from something that troubles her and a friend has to pull her back and tells her she is wrong. She runs away from Beacon and her friends in a bid to protect them from the White Fang, but she heads straight to her parents? We learned a lot about Blake’s pre-Beacon life and the more I learned about it the less I like it, her and everything about the Faunus storyline. While I can’t say it exactly contradicts anything we knew about her, the reveal that she was the daughter of the then-leader of the White Fang and now-leader of Menagerie does not gel with what most people were thinking about her life. Most people thought she had to struggle and endure a lot for the fight for equality, but she grew up in a tropical paradise, in a giant mansion, on an island where the populations seems to entirely Faunus? The biggest problem with this storyline is that we never see any sort of racism against Faunus, Weiss, Roman and Cardin were the only people who showed negative thoughts against them, and even then it doesn’t feel like I think it’s supposed to. Cardin seemed like an asshole to everyone, Torchwick was too enjoyable of a character, and Weiss’ views seemed like they were retconned back in V2. She came to Beacon thinking that all Faunus were murderers and thieves and given the proper chance would join the White Fang without hesitation, then she later says she came to Beacon to make things right by the SDC Faunus workers? Even Menagerie, which we were told was overcrowded and kind of shitty actually looks great, easily one of the better looking and more scenic places in the show with tons of space to in the jungles to expand. Overall this makes the White Fang seem like nothing more than cartoon villain henchman who are villains just because the heroes need someone to beat up. There was a moment, however, where we were introduced to the idea that Adam was leading a splinter group of the White Fang, but that idea was killed not even a minute it was introduced.

Another issues is that Blake is the daughter someone who led the White Fang and is now the leader of the Faunus capital. The name “Belladonna” should be a much more known name, Weiss of all people should have called Blake out on that, but no one ever says anything about it, not even when her name was on screen of the Vytal Tournament for the world to see.

Blake and Sun also suffered as characters. Blake was just unpleasant in most of her scenes, being snappy and dismissive towards anyone who tried to talk sense into her, and while I would have understood this sort of attitude given the situation, the fact that they’re repeating the same arc for her won’t let me. Sun somehow got it worst because outside his last scene with Blake everything that come out of his mouth is terrible, it’s like the writers simply can’t write him as anything as being a shitty comic relief. I’ve mentioned it before, but the things I hated most about the SSSN vs NDGO fight was that it was nothing but bad jokes for the sake of them, and none of them hitting, and that seems to apply to Sun on his own. It’s like they made no effort to write him in any serious manner.

0/10 honestly.

Yang’s Story

At the end of V3, out of all the characters Yang had been unloaded with the most baggage. She lost her arm and she was left behind by most of the people she cared about, put that on top of previously established abandonment issues, she had the most work to do when it came to her own personal demons. Out of everyone, she should have been a gold mine of things to work with, but we got nothing from her. While the first scene with her was good at establishing where she was in life, all the issues she had were introduced, glanced over, and were seemingly resolved in no time. She more or less was given fifteen minute, and the only thing that really happened was that she was given a robot arm at the end of her first episode, and had it on by her second. That’s the exact thing I didn’t want to happen, and it really makes me think that the fact that she had lost her arm will never be brought up in any meaningful light ever again.

3/10 here.

Weiss’ Story

While Blake’s story was terrible, and Yang’s was disappointing, Weiss’ was boring and predictable. It went like I thought it was going to go, hit all the story beats I knew it was, and there was nothing I didn’t expect. Like Blake’s, it’s just redoing her previous story and adds nothing really new aside from Whitley, who seems like the most last-minute addition of a character I ever saw. The moment I saw him I more or less guessed what his role was going to be, just to be an obstacle in Weiss way who just happens to be a Jacques 2.0, and it just seems redundant, and I don’t expect anything much more than that from him. I actually even lowered my opinion of Weiss because of the time skip, since V4 was about 6-8 months after Beacon, but she spent all that time moping and staring out her window? She really did nothing during that time to further her own goals? She wants to run the SDC, but all she did during that time was be sad? It really makes me wonder if she actually has a plan for the SDC since she didn’t seem like she really worked for it, that she was just expecting it to fall into her lap.

Then there’s the summoned knight. On one hand, as a Jojo fan I appreciate her knight since it would make Weiss a Stand User (it’s just a great sword variant of Silver Chariot), but from a narrative perspective I hate it. Things like Dust, Aura and Semblances have always been vaguely defined, and the way Weiss’ powers work makes it look like it’s just magic and that she can do whatever the writers want. With what she had to start with, Weiss already had a very variable moveset, so there didn’t seem like there needed to be a power up like that, which seems like a separate power rather than a branching ability of what she already knew. Then there is tying it to her character development, but that’s something that should have been from the start instead of 1/3 through V3. They should not have introduced something like this so later into her character development if it was going to matter this much.

So 5/10 for her.

Honestly the WBY stories fell like filler for the most par with the obvious end goal of each one to get them to Haven and have them meet up with Ruby. Splitting up the team seems more like a novelty than anything else, like they did it because they could but never put thought into what to do with that. It’s just the tournament all over again. It presents interesting ideas, but the way it follows them up is a massive let down.

Ruby/RNJR/Oscar/Villains AKA Main Plot

While I disliked WBY’s part of the volume,I have to say I much more favorable view the actual plot part.

At first I was rather skeptical of Hazel, Watts and Tyrian,Tyrian in particular, but after his encounter in RNJR and Qrow, Tyrian is on a fast track to becoming a favorite villain of mine. He was an enjoyable character to watch and his interactions with the heroes were great, and the reveal that he has this fanatical worship of Salem to the point where her being disappointed in him is enough to drive him to tear-ridden lunacy was just fantastic, and it gives me high hopes for Hazel and Watts. This volume also did a lot in turning my opinion on Cinder around. I disliked her very much because she was always over confident and smug without me feeling that she really earned it, skulking in the shadows being vague and mysterious for the sake of it with master plans, even though most of her victories were more of a result of her opposition’s failures than her successes. They tried to play her as this all seeing chess master, but the writers but they had to stick her into the spotlight, but she was terribly boring and all the other villains around her were so much better than her. Then V4 comes around and she is the broken and mute cripple who struggles to even stand up, she is the bottom tier of Salem’s followers and is openly mocked by her superiors, and the Maiden powers she tore Beacon down for seemingly came with a devastating weakness she didn’t even know about. Back in V3 she said she wanted to be powerful and feared, but she is now the antithesis of that, even though Beacon was technical success for her, she ended up being the opposite of what she wanted, and I want to see where this goes for her.

Oscar was also something I want to see where it goes. This random nobody farmhand who seems to now share head space with one of the more mysterious characters in the show now being shoved into the plot could lead to some interesting things, and I like their interactions enough to see how this goes for them, and what happens with them and what this means for the both of them.

We also had a surprise moment with Raven and Qrow, and everything about that scene was gold. All I wanted from Raven was for her to be a piece of shit who ran out on her family because she simply didn’t want to there, and I was afraid that they were going to pull some “greater good” angle with her, but not did they do what I wanted them to do, but they also made her the leader of a tribe of bandits that go around and pillaging and burning down villages. Her entire conversation with Qrow makes me want to see her again and more of her view on the world and her relationship with the people in her past.

The remaining members of Team JNPR also each had great moments this volume. We saw Jaune’s own way of grieving regarding Pyrrha, and as a Souls fan I appreciate that his weapon is now just Ludwig’s Holy Blade, and while I would have liked to see how Ren and Nora were dealing with this loss as well, we were given a gold mine on their backstories and history together, and everything about this was fantastic in itself. Then through those flashbacks and the fights in the ruined Kuroyuri the show was able to take huge leaps to redeeming the Grimm as actual threats. The Nuckelavee is the kind of monster I wanted, this unsettling and powerful creature that is more than just a fodder mook, if they’re able to keep their monster designs on par with this, then I’d be fine with the heroes tearing through Beowolves by the dozens if we get more monsters like this.

There were a few problems, of course. I liked the globetrotting aspect of their journey, but seeing as how Weiss, Blake, Yang and Oscar all took much quicker ways to Have it loses its appeal real quick. The Relics is also a problem because it seems to instantly outshine the Maidens since they seem to be the exact same thing from a narrative view, and there didn’t seem like there need to be both at the same time.The Haven airships coming to find RNJR was also a bit of a cop out.

Then there is Ruby Rose.

I’ve already talked about this but I’m going to better explain my views. After V4 ended someone tallied up the total lines between each character, and they found out that had it not been for her closing narration, Ruby’s line count would have gone from most number of lines, to third, just below Blake and Jaune, which has led to some people complaining about Ruby’s role in the story and that Jaune was stealing the spotlight from her. Personally I don’t see it as this way, at least not entirely, since I don’t view the number of a character’s lines as a very important part of how much impact or meaningful they are in the narrative. For example, even though Sun comes in fifth almost every line he has is garbage and not worth the time watching him, and even though he is not in the top ten, I much more enjoyed Oscar’s side of the story than Blake’s, who came in second in line count.

I’m been rewatching Samurai Jack recently to get caught up with the new season coming up, and it makes me appreciate how much a character’s presence can speak for them without them ever saying anything at all, there is a lot of silence in those episodes, and more often than not Jack will have less lines than anyone else around him. “The Princess and the Bounty Hunters” is a good example of this, since Jack only show up in the last two minutes, he says nothing and you don’t even get a clear look at his face, but that one scene ends up being the heaviest and most tense moment in the episode because of how much weight he carries into the narrative.

Ruby’s problem isn’t that people are stealing screentime from her, it’s that she has little to none narrative presences by default, and this isn’t even a new problem. All the way back in V1 when she had her argument with Weiss, that seemed to put more focus on Weiss than her, and it wasn’t until the last few episodes of V3 did she actually start taking the initiative in the plot and had all those hero moments. For the most part she didn’t matter in V2 to the point where anything she did could have been done by anyone else and there would be no changes. The only time where Ruby’s actual character mattered was when she shared scenes with Penny, and those aren’t going to happen anymore, and while she did have those hero moments in V3, they feel more like she had them because she was the Default Hero instead of them being important to her, that she was given them because of course she’s doing all the cool stuff, she’s the hero so she gets them by default. I don’t even really like how they’re trying to set up this Ruby vs Cinder fight since that seems so default, when I’d rather JNR fight her instead.

Ruby Rose’s writing is less about other taking from her, and more about her just not being given much to begin with. You could remove Jaune, Nora and Ren from the show, but then Ruby would just be overshadowed by Weiss, Blake and Yang and their stories, and outside removing every other character in the show, that won’t make the writing for her better. She needs more narrative presence, she needs to actually be important and carry weight for the story, and until they stop writing her as the Default Hero and figure out what they want to do with her, any other changes they make won’t matter.

So main plot stuff gets a 8/10.

V1: 6/10

V2: 2/10

V3: 7/10

V4: Averages out to 4/10

Also a shout out the World of Remnant pieces this volume, since they were actually good. Back when WoR was introduced, I thought they were a good idea, RWBY had precious little screen time as is, so I this seemed like a good way to get around explaining things that the average person in-universe should know, but the ones were got in V2 and 3 were hit and miss, mostly miss. They either repeated information to the point of being moot or revealed plot important details that should have been in the show proper. The ones we got this volume were well informed, they told us details of everyday facets of this world, giving us what we needed so the show could dedicate itself to explaining on a more detailed level. I think we now know what the average informed citizen of Remnant should know, and I feel that’s what World of Remnant should try to accomplish.

#rwby #volume 4 #rwby4 #rwde #maybe

[psychicadviceus]

Learn to Relax and Be in Comfort

New Post has been published on http://propheticmeaning.com/index.php/2017/11/12/learn-to-relax-and-be-in-comfort/

Learn to Relax and Be in Comfort

Individuals who don’t understand exactly what a comfort zone is has to undergo a terrible anxiety illness or unmanaged pain difficulty; and they should have endured this so long that they don’t recall what it was like to feel comfy. Luckily, few people fit into these shoes. I’ve got one. I understand when I’m inside and I understand when I’m not. I enjoy my candy location. The exact same is likely true for you. Even though our comfort zones are reassuring, they can definitely become our enemy.

Probably not one of us has enough charge of our own lives such that we are able to opt to reside inside our comfort zone entirely. Circumstances of life may and do, at least sometimes, move us from the location. Occasionally people (such as parents, educators, employers, spouses and friends) intentionally push or pull us from our sweet place.

Given that the fair level of control the majority of us have within our own lives, it’s apparent that we don’t exercise that command in exactly the exact same way or with the identical passion. Some folks are clearly comfortable with things I would never decide to do.

Knievel entertained countless people during his 15 decades of public performances. On a bike, he conducted over 75 ramp-to-ramp jumps across all types of objects such as automobiles, buses and shark tanks.

Although Knievel made many remarkable successful jumps, he didn’t always land nicely. That record will most likely endure for quite a very long moment. Who would like to break that record by dividing 434 bones? Even Knievel was not going for this record; it had been only a danger of the trade.

Knievel is only 1 example of individuals whose comfort zone encounter is far different from mine. These are individuals that are dedicated to jobs that lie beyond their normal comfort zone. As we all can see these individuals with high risk lifestyles, all around us are those who match the antithesis of the – people that are very committed to a very low-risk way of life. Where the former shoot great opportunities and actually risk their own lives, the later have no chances and purposely danger nothing. We do not observe those dedicated to “no danger” such as we do people dedicated to “high risk”; honestly there’s not anything impressive about these.

Certainly we’re all born with relaxation zones which vary in dimension one from the other. Maybe the CZ of a few people is obviously larger than mine and yours. Really, some of us are talented with a larger capability to “professionally” participate dangers. I really don’t think, however, that we’re doomed to the comfortable zone shaped in the uterus or shaped in our early years old. I feel that for many of us our comfort zone may grow as we decide to uncomfortably engage certain dangers in life.

Really, the far better manners, the truer replies, and lots of rewarding accomplishments in life frequently require us to escape our comfortable ruts, beyond our comfort zone.

Finding that school degree that will open doors of opportunity won’t be comfy, at least in case you truly do the job of learning. Assessing your musical instrument might not be comfy, but it’s the sole pathway to competency. Maybe new societal settings make you nervous, however facing that stress healthily (maybe not lathered up with alcohol or other medications) can reward you with a few incredibly great buddies.

This comfort zone is a wonderful relaxing place. It’s excellent to be comfy. A lifetime dedicated to relaxation, though, can develop into a wasted life. You are going to need to read things which aren’t amusing or fluffy. You are going to need to have discussions with people you would rather avoid. You are going to need to bear the uncomfortable sense of being bad at something before you may be good at the thing. You might need to acknowledge the need for and employ the support of a tutor, a mentor, or even a counselor to be able to be successful in a significant life task; which can be extremely embarrassing for a number people.

Part of this shift that came into my entire life entails the very thing I’m writing about in this particular piece. The Cross is an important sign of Christendom, in part, as it signifies this simple fact of His life. The entire Gospel account highlights this. Jesus left all of the conveniences of paradise to come in to this sin-sick entire world to save us. And, as He dwelt in the world, He had a number of the creature comforts all of us crave. He dwelt and worked among individuals who frequently misunderstood Him, utilized Him, and weren’t reliable to Him. The fire of His love moved Him from all comfort zones from the pursuit of His assignment. It’s taken me from my comfort zone innumerable times. Not only did He lead me from my comfort zone, but ” he enabled me to measure out – to confront and conquer my fears.

Too many Christians, I fear, are eager to follow Jesus everywhere, ready to do anything to your Master – so long as it isn’t something which makes them uneasy. When this is true, an individual would be wise to answer this question: Is Jesus my Lord or is it my relaxation that I function?

When we allow Jesus be Lord really, he’ll lead us to matters away from the comfort zone of now. He wishes to do this in every area of your life. I am hoping you’ll let Him direct you there. He is the Friend; along with your comfort zone is the enemy, even if it prevents you out of going together with Him, growing together with Him.

Allow me to give you a little bit of encouragement. Your comfort zone isn’t set in stone. It may alter. It may change, if you may. When we repeatedly measure outside that comfort zone, then we could locate the comfortable border line moves. You may actually become familiar with situations which used to frighten you. And talking before a bunch was manner out my comfort zone. I now do this with little-to-no stress. My comfort zone has obviously altered.

Please do not forego the reinforcement of the paragraph, as in this paragraph, so I assist you adopt the facts involved in this procedure. My level of relaxation, associated with public speaking, didn’t change instantly. It enlarged slowly as I continued to perform that which was uncomfortable. Do it fearful. Do it fearful spitless. Do it again. And again. And again. Finally you, also, will discover your comfort zone has shifted.

What I have said so much is accurate usually. Is it not a fantastic thing to get the ideal thing despite the fact that it’s an embarrassing thing? Don’t healthy ethics occasionally call us to select difficult things? This, also, is a component of our personality maturation to not be averted. Ultimately, only experience out of your comfort zone will allow you to detect the gap between the vast majority of items that may become contained on your enlarged relaxation zone and these fewer items (items you end up called to perform) which will always stay out of your realm of relaxation.

  #post- .CPlase_panel display:none;

[thnksfrthblg]

Bi Visibility Day: Why Is It Important?

Today (23rd September 2018) is Bi Visibility Day, an international day dedicated to celebrating bisexuality, bisexual history, and raising awareness of bisexual visibility!

A lot of people don’t realise that bisexuality is actually an umbrella term, and encompasses several different sexualities, predominantly: bisexuality (sexual attraction to multiple genders - so no, the term isn’t transphobic!), pansexuality (sexual attraction regardless of gender/to all gender and sexes) and polysexuality (attraction to multiple but not all genders). This is just a brief overview of these sexualities but people identify with these terms in their own ways and by their own accords, so can be different to what I have stated. Some people use the term bisexual rather than pansexual, as it is a more familiar term in heteronormative society.

“But why should I care about the problems that only affect a very, very small part of the population?” I hear you cry. 

Well did you know that bisexuality is actually the biggest section of LGBTQ+? 

And these numbers will only increase as society becomes more understanding and accepting of what it means to be bisexual! This is not to say bi visibility is only important because more and more people are identifying as bisexual, but it just shows how prevalent bisexuality is in our society - and there is still a long way to go!

Now there are many, many myths in heteronormative society when it comes to bisexuality, and a helluva lot of discrimination too. I’m going to talk you through some myths, along with real things people have actually said to me about bisexuality so that we can see how important bi visibility is!

1. Bisexuality isn’t “real”

Well, I exist, don’t I? In all seriousness, this is something people actually believe! You may be familiar with the whole “bisexuality is the last stop on the gay train”, or that bisexual people are just confused and haven’t picked a side yet - the new Netflix series Insatiable was actually under fire for making similar biphobic comments. It’s honestly unfathomable to me as to why people actually believe this, but I have experienced someone who I thought was a close friend of mine roll their eyes at me when I would mention to new people that I am bisexual. This is another reason why bi visibility is so important because if you are visibly gender-conforming (like I am) people just assume you’re straight, and it is important for me, and many other bisexuals, that people don’t assume this! Bisexuality is very real and does exist!

2. You’re not bisexual if you are dating someone of the opposite sex

This one baffles me too. One time I was at Courtney Act’s show and a security guy got talking to me...this is basically how the conversation went:

Me: “I don’t know if I should wait out back to meet Courtney. I might just go home.”

Him: “You could just come home with me?”

Me: “Nope. No way.”

Him: “Oh it’s cause you’re gay.”

Me: “Um...well I’m bisexual. I have a boyfriend too.”

Him: “Wait..how does that work? So you’re not really bisexual?”

Of course, I asked him if he really thinks it’s okay to invalidate someone’s identity like that, to which he apologised, but still. Where is his logic, so I’m only bisexual if I am in a relationship with a girl? By his logic, if I’m “not really bisexual” if I am with a guy, then surely I’m a lesbian and “not really bisexual” if I am with a girl? This is another reason why bi visibility is so important. I’ve seen many comments on the internet from confused heteros who don’t get how you can still be bisexual if you are in a relationship. It’s like if you finished a TV series and start watching a new series. Just because you’re now watching Mad Men, doesn’t mean that you don’t like Friends anymore - you like both! You just prefer watching Mad Men. You haven’t “picked” a side. You’re still bisexual whatever the gender is of the person you are dating! I’m totally confused as to where this myth came from too, where did the idea that bisexual people only exist if they alternate the genders of their partner come from? Porn is my guess. 

There have been several other instances where male “friends” have said to me “you’re not really bisexual” because I have a boyfriend. When I get offended by these comments, they quickly brand it as a joke - despite making it very clear that they don’t see my identity as “real”. This myth also is extremely damaging because it is one of the most common, and contributes to the extremely harmful internalised biphobia that bisexuals experience. Internalised biphobia is where bisexuals harbour harmful thoughts about their own identity. Bisexual people are at a higher risk of mental health issues because of the invisibility and discrimination that they face. I can recall the times I have been in a very confusing and conflicting mental space because of the internalised biphobia that stems from the damaging things people have said to me throughout my life.

3. All Bisexuals are polyamorous

This one is just ridiculous. So bisexuality is on a spectrum, you can have a preference for the gender of your sexual partner, or you can really just not care at all. However, there is a very dominant myth in heteronormative society that because bisexuals are attracted to more than one gender, means that they are not monogamous - so they are incapable of having one sexual partner at a time. No! Not all bisexuals are polyamorous. Not all bisexuals want a threesome. I cannot recall how many conversations I have had with heterosexuals, where they would ask me if the fact I’m bisexual means I want a threesome. I can happily say I am monogamous, I have always been that way! In fact - I am not into poly or casual sexual encounters, I am really the antithesis of promiscuous. If you are still not getting it, look at it this way: you find your partner hot but you also think your celebrity crush is equally as gorgeous and are sexually attracted to them. But would you want to have sex with both of them at the same time? Most people who are monogamous would probably say no. Unless you have a kink for threesomes (which many straight, gay, and bi+ people have!) which is completely fine!

That concludes the end of my article! I hope you found it informative and educational - and will hopefully make you think about the treatment of bisexuals in our society, not just today but every day. Bisexual people are real human beings with feelings and valid identities - and we can all work together to make our society one that is more inclusive and understanding. Here are some other useful links if you would like to know more:

Bisexual FAQ: https://bit.ly/2pub4IT

Bisexual FAQ: https://bit.ly/2QRLqKD

Bierasure: https://bit.ly/2IRpQ4O

#bisexual #bisexuality #biphobia #internalised biphobia #bi visibility #bi visibility day #bi week #queer #sexuality #sociology #discussion #blog post #blogger #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #misc #blog #pan #pansexual #polysexual #bierasure

[casualarsonist]

Blade Runner 2049 (mostly spoiler-free) review

Ridley Scott’s iconic and influential cyberpunk classic ‘Blade Runner’ was part of my high school curriculum back in the day, and given that I’ve therefore spent most of my life being surrounded by people intimately acquainted with the film, I suppose I’ve just always assumed that everyone in the world is intimately acquainted with it. I was thus shocked when Blade Runner 2049 was released and many contemporaries of mine criticised it for the sparse darkness of its tone and execution, or for its patient pace, as if an entire generation was completely unprepared for the sequel to an ambiguous and atmospheric film about a world destroyed by man and inhabited by people purpose-built for slavery. Then I remembered that Blade Runner is 25 years old, and I still hang out with people in their early-20s whose formative years have been poisoned by the Disneyfication of classic intellectual properties and whatever the fuck a Boobah is. In any case, I was intensely interested in seeing how the opinion of the nay-sayers compared to critics who have lauded it as one of the best sequels ever made. 

I should postface my preface by saying that before I saw this in the cinema I went back and watched Blade Runner: The Final Cut and felt as if I was seeing it with new eyes. In retrospect the story is directed very sparingly, to the point that I almost want to say that the narrative is glossed over. The now-iconic visual style dominates the movie and leaves the characters ambiguous and spartan, especially that of Deckard, almost entirely eschewing exposition in favour of action. Deckard and the replicants he hunts always head straight towards the people or places that can provide the answers to their questions, and encounters between characters are brief, and usually end brutally. Because so little about the characters and plot is explicitly expressed, and the film spends so little time lingering on the details of the narrative, my girlfriend (who knew little about it and was watching it for the first time) initially found the intention of the film difficult to understand, so I suppose expectation plays a large part in a viewer’s experience of these films. They’re films that demand and deserve the audience’s complete attention, and I would concede that only after much exposure and dissection in high school coupled with decades of rewatching have I come to know what lies behind the first film’s almost truncated feel.

In this aspect as well as others, Blade Runner 2049 is what I’ll paradoxically refer to as a ‘complimentary antithesis’ to its predecessor. In many ways it does what Blade Runner either failed to, or chose not to do, whilst still faithfully maintaining the essential elements of the original film to the effect that its similarities and differences exist simultaneously and almost to the same degree as one another. The two films are separate parts of an almost air-tight complete experience, and are arguably the most complimentary chapters of any film series to watch back-to-back: whereas the original offers an efficient and visceral introduction to a dark future, the sequel fills in the gaps, expands on the loose ends left hanging, and seamlessly retcons the intentions of its forerunner in a way that ultimately improves both works. Blade Runner 2049 is not perfect, for reasons that I’ll expand upon, but it is an astounding sequel, a work of art, and a cinematic masterpiece. 

Blade Runner 2049 takes place 30 years after the events in the original. In the first of many respectful nods to the first film, the opening text informs us that, following a series of violent rebellions, replicants were made illegal until the ‘Wallace Corporation’ bought out Tyrell and produced a new range of replicants designed specifically to obey. Although they are still widely reviled and mistrusted and the divide between their rights and those of humans is as stark as ever, an underground rebellion is brewing around the discovery of a hitherto unknown property of an older-model replicant that removes one of the defining boundaries between the slaves and their masters. This is about all I can say regarding the plot without spoiling anything, and given that this is far-more the detective story than the original Blade Runner, watching the mystery unravel is half the fun. 

2049 is also far-more indulgent film than its predecessor, and this should be understood before entering the cinema. Director Denis Villeneuve is not afraid to allow his actors space to think and feel, to let his shots run and tension mount, and to leave the audience to soak in this atmospheric broth. The length of the film has been a common criticism, even amongst those that enjoyed it, but this criticism isn’t universal. I, for one, wasn’t unhappy to devote my entire evening to the experience, and with majestic cinematography that makes incredible use of silhouette, fog, and a dreamlike shifting of light and shade, I felt like a diner at a banquet prepared just for me. Seriously. This film deserves Oscars, all the Oscars, for its visual design. Along with Mad Max: Fury Road, 2049 has my vote for best use of CGI in a motion picture ever. It’s ambitious enough to impart a real sense of wonder in the viewer, yet realistic enough and smartly applied so as to not break the suspension of disbelief. And unlike Rogue One’s distracting and cartoonish resurrection of dead actors, 2049 recreates a character from the first film with such detail and a delicate touch that it managed to not only avoid the uncanny valley, but to stun me. Let me reiterate - I play a lot of video games, and I’ve seen a lot of digitally-recreated actors in my time, and this instance is probably the best I’ve ever, ever, seen. It’s haunting.

But for all the attention to detail in the visuals and the overall quality of the script, there are some cracks in the facade here. Certain plot-holes linger in the mind long after the film is over - perhaps they are simply questions yet to be answered, but until they’re answered they remain as holes in an otherwise strong story. There are also genuine questions to be asked about the depictions of women in the series, as there are only one or two females across both films that aren’t sexualised or depicted as subservient to a man in some way (and one of those is the elderly Asian woman working at a noodle store in the original). 2049 goes as far as to feature two badass female characters, one of whom propositions the leading man for sex, while the other is a thrall to her male boss. I debated this point with my girlfriend who understandably found it hard to stomach, my point being that depicting an exploitative dystopia isn’t necessarily an act of exploitation in itself, but I do agree that it’s a lack of balance that I noticed in watching. On top of this is a conspicuous lack of Asian characters, rather baffling given the prevalence of Asian culture littering future LA so visibly - a cultural incursion that could be explained away as appropriation if not for the fact that Asian people were featured frequently as both central and background characters in the original film. After some research I found that both of these issues had been noticed and reported on by others, and I can’t say that the claims of sexism and white-washing don’t ring somewhat true.

I don’t want to dismiss these issues because they are important, but if one can put aside the incongruity that this inequality generates, Blade Runner 2049 is, by every other metric, a spectacular work of art. The soundtrack, like most other aspects of the film’s design, is both faithful yet distinctive. This is the second film in row I’ve seen at the cinema in the last month for which Hans Zimmer’s bombastic scores have featured, but I found his work here to be far less obnoxious than in Dunkirk - in part because he is forced to balance his blaring action sequences with throwbacks to the eerie and desolate strains of Vangelis’ unmistakable electronic score for the first film. 

Other throwbacks include subtle references to the ‘enhance’ scene, the appearance of the Atari logo on digital billboards, and the technology from the first film making an appearance when K meets Deckard, all of which are handled with care and not shoved in the face of the returning viewer (unlike, for example, The Force Awakens’ cloying and incessant desire to tread out ham-fisted references to the past). This is important, because 2049’s throwbacks exist not simply as fan service, but as a storytelling tool that ties the worlds of the two films together and informs the viewer as to what has changed in the 30 years in between. When we approach the Wallace Corporation headquarters, we see the building towering out of frame over two much smaller but familiar buildings in the foreground – the old Tyrell Corporation buildings. The fact that the Wallace tower is so enormous that it can’t be contained in the same shot as the Tyrell buildings says a lot about the scale of the company in relation to its predecessor, as well as the fact that mankind has not only failed to abate its destructive and polluting ways, but only increased them exponentially. The camera flies over a dense urban sprawl that is cut through by an iridescent street. As we approach the street we realise that it is bordered not by low-rise buildings but by skyscrapers, immediately shifting our perception of the depth and scale to which humanity is packed into this city. A huge concrete wall keeps the rising sea levels at bay. Smog and rain blanket the city, perpetually obscuring the sky. It all helps sell the reality of the film, and while the visuals of 2049 won’t reshape science fiction in the way that the original Blade Runner did, I can’t help but feel that the technical achievements of this film nearly outweigh those of the original. This is actually a sentiment that I feel nearly across the board: I almost want to say that 2049 is somehow, against all odds, a ‘better’ film, but the fact that they are so distinct from one another prohibits this. It’s very much like comparing apples and oranges – they both hold indelible similarities that bind them together, but are inherently different in many important ways. And how can one say which is better – some will prefer apples and others oranges. Both have their virtues, both have their faults. Ultimately though, and unlike fruit, Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049 are each masterpieces of their own era, and perhaps even more impressively, complement each other perfectly. Their internal congruity coupled with their distinctive identities means that one won’t simply be rehashing the same film twice when viewing them in sequence, but will be unravelling layers of depth and detail as they venture further into the story. This is the key to success in reinvigorating a franchise so many years after its last appearance, and I can only think of two directors in the modern age who have ever gotten it right – George Miller, and Denis Villeneuve. Blade Runner 2049 is stunning. Go see it.

9.5/10

(Very) Outstanding

#blade runner 2049 #ryan gosling #harrison ford #denis villeneuve #ana de armas #sean young #replicant #blade runner #film #review