#and with some overenunciation

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 46

part 1 | part 45 | ao3

cw: recreational drinking

Somewhere around the second chorus, Nancy finally stops twirling, head down and eyes closed as she wobbles dangerously in place — Steve can see Jon tensing just in case he needs to jump in and save her from busting her ass — and when she looks up, her eyes lock on Steve like she's seeing him for the first time in forty years.

“Steeeeeve!” she slurs, smile sloshing over her features like a splash of spilled punch.

Good god. “Hey, Nance.”

She reaches over and paws at his arm, a swiping motion like she's either about to yank him in for a hug or wipe some lint off his sleeve, and says, “Steve, I— I, um- can- can we...?”

With a determined look in her glossy eyes, she pitches forward and slams into him. Steve goes flopping backward into a squishy leather armchair and lands with a lapful of Nancy. Nancy Wheeler, the ex who dumped him at a party not unlike this one. Who left him for a guy standing a foot and a half away.

Who's snickering into the crook of his neck now as she clings to his shoulders to try and stop herself from slinking sideways to the floor.

Steve throws Eddie and Jonathan matching looks — something between 'this okay?' and 'what the actual fuck?' — but Jon just shrugs like what're ya gonna do? and Eddie gives him a quick wink and turns his attention back to the boys.

Super helpful, Ed. Thanks so fucking much.

“Hiii,” Nancy giggles, looping her arms tighter around his neck to hold herself upright. It should seem flirty, but it doesn’t, somehow. Feels more like… sisterly concern?

Feels fucking weird, is what.

“Hi,” he says a little stiffly, his arms hovering in a loose bracket on either side of her in case she topples. He feels a little bad for being standoffish when she's in a sweet and friendly mood; doesn't want to be a buzzkill, but he doesn't exactly know what to do with an armful of happy-go-lucky hammered Nance.

Never did, really, because he couldn’t ever tell when it was genuine or not. Which was kinda the whole problem, wasn’t it?

Nancy pokes at the edge of the frown he didn't realize he was making. "Aw, don't..." she mumbles with a wounded little sound, her eyes sliding over his face, head bobbling like she's standing on the deck of a ship. “Or do," she hiccups and swallows a burp. Her lower lip trembles. "I prob'ly deser— deserve it."

Steve sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He would've killed for this conversation twelve months ago; would've killed to hear it sober and asking for him back.

Now he mostly feels bad for making her feel bad, even though she’s not exactly wrong. Maybe she did deserve it, once. But not here; not now. “No, you don’t,” he sighs and lets his arm skim her waist. “You don’t. You should be enjoying the party, I’m sorry.”

She protests with an almost violent shake of her head. “No,” she insists, overenunciating the word. “No. I do. I was…"

She straightens her spine and stares at him like she's trying to bore a hole through his head; like this is important. Like there's a cut on her hand and gasoline in the carpet. "I was bullshit.” She jabs her pointer finger against her breastbone. “I was.”

Steve blinks at her. Feels tears bead in his eyes and slither into his sinuses. Gently, he reaches out and pushes down on the back of her hand; guides it away from her chest until it falls back to her lap.

“Think maybe we both were,” he offers with a quiet sniff. Takes a second to just breathe, sharp and wet through his nose. “Thank you, though. For saying that. Means a lot.”

Her eyes still look sad, but the corners of her mouth lift in a small, hopeful tick. “It does?”

“Yeah.”

Across the room, someone clambers onto a kitchen counter and hollers, "Hey! Listen up!"

The music pauses; the moment breaks. The crowd turns to the guy, who cups his hands around his mouth and announces, “Fifteen minutes to midnight! Find your make-out buddy, folks!"

Commotion as everyone scrambles to pair up: Nancy looks at Jonathan and stumbles off Steve’s lap; Gareth stares forlornly at a girl over by the stairs; Frank purses his lips and tells Jeff to start puckerin’, princess, and Jeff laughs and shoves him with a playful "fuck off, dude."

Eddie’s only got eyes for Steve.

He’s staring right at him, eyes lit up with desire; twinkling stars in deep woods. “Get a refill with me?” he asks as he offers Steve a hand.

Steve stands and does his best not to sway into Eddie’s arms.

“Oh, my god," Robin mutters over the rim of her cup, "so we’re not seeing you two again tonight."

“What was that?” Steve asks. Eddie sticks his tongue out at her.

“Nothing, dinguses,” she sighs. “Happy new year.”

Steve wishes her the same, reaching out to link their pinkies and giving hers a quick squeeze. Pinky hug; love you, too. As he and Eddie shuffle past, Steve sees Argyle turn to Robin and casually try to shoot his shot.

“Hey, pretty bird lady…” he starts.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Robin responds by making crazy eyes and bleating out a nervous laugh that roughly translates to sorry sorry sorry sorry and never in a million years; Steve's tempted to lean over and clap a hand over her mouth to put her out of her gay misery, but Argyle's the most chill dude on the planet, apparently, because he doesn't even seem fazed.

“No sweat, my guy,” he shrugs and extends a closed hand. “Midnight fist bump instead?”

—

part 47

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

#trailer park steve au #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #argyle stranger things #corroded coffin #my writing #my fic

[waterparksdrama]

ok track by track review of Intellectual Property. GO!

as you wish anon. be warned this is literally like one of maybe 4 times i've listened to this album in full again

st*rfucker - a bit too saccharine on first listen but it has better replay value as time goes on. the beginning of the shoehorned jesus lyrics and the continuation of limo imagery to represent fame which is actually fitting admittedly bc just like a limo that is supposed to represent glamour and celebrity living, they are just as widespread and accessible as him and aren't really that glamorous at all. also this is me saying again wow he complains a lot about fame for someone who isn't really that famous. i still hate the cutoff at the end bc. cmon man. 7/10

real super dark - ok i did like the gilbert gottfried inspired melody i think that's fun actually. the song lyrics? uhhhhhh. just more complaining. if you have listened to any of the albums since fandom you are not missing much there other than the otto serial killer jokes he has inserted here? which is a choice i guess. instrumental is great tho. i feel incredibly stupid listening to a lot of the other parts of the song tho. 7/10

funeral grey - god i can't bear listening to this one on my own i'm sorry. live it's fine, but the studio recording i would rather kill myself than listen to again. IT'S SO ANNOYING. the terrible overenunciated vocals. awsten's attempt at humor by writing these wattpad fic lyrics that make me cringe to my core because i know there's a part of him being genuine. the one direction ripoff hook because he managed to get one of 1d's actual songwriters to help write the track. the only saving grace is the ending but at that point it's too late for any redemption. 2/10

brainwashed - ironically this was written with the 1d guy again and. i'm actually fine with this one LOL. it's simple and lowkey so it's considerably less annoying than funeral grey. considering awsten said the lyrics on this album were hypersexual, but it's 2023 so this is fairly tame, it just makes me wonder how much he has repressed in his psyche. 6/10

2 best friends - ok now we're back to simple annoying. if you tune out the lyrics enough, it sounds like disney channel filler music. but it's actually about ~~sExxxx~~ hahahahaha everything about this album so far is like reading fanfics clearly written by middle schoolers. awsten's sad about his situationship so he goes out with his 2 best friends to forget but it doesn't work :( but he could just fuck his friends bc it wouldn't hurt to try at this point. hey what if this was what the song was actually about that because in travis' insane songfic he made jawn and awsten hook up during this chapter #neverforget #riptravisficeventhoughmebitchingontumblrmadehimkillit 4/10

end of the water (feel) - hearing awsten try to hit those high notes reminded me of people saying brendon straining on his high notes on the last panic tour was like hearing a dog that needed to be shot out back for its own good. this is very obviously a charlie puth ripoff to the t because not only does he hit high notes that no man should ever reach, but i'm pretty sure the verse instrumentals rip off "light switch" by charlie. anyways more of "ughhhhh i'm not getting a text backkkkkk" that makes me want to throw awsten's phone into the pacific. i still don't know why kurtis conner is here and how this is supposed to relate to any of this at all. also actually now that i'm crossing checking the genius pages for these, the descriptions for these songs make them sound much better than they actually are lol. 3/10

self-sabotage - this one is mid on it's own but funny because i remember the amount of twitter discourse this song has spawned. "awsten's being toxic and misogynistic" did we not listen to some of the songs off fandom "awsten has bpd" what if he just sucks sometimes. the memories of this are more memorable than the song itself. 5/10

ritual - remember when i found out the soundbyte at the beginning was from an aids psa. good times. fine song other than the shoehorned soundbyte. the entire song is just a repetition of the verses and chorus like a ~~ritual~~ spooky! i like the flair vincente void adds with his screams i feel like this feature makes more sense because it's a song about protecting yourself from the doctrines of religion that harmed you when you were growing up and apparently vincente has known awsten since he was 13???? only thing i hate is the corpse ripoff ending so much so that i have a personal version where i edited that out. 8/10

fuck about it - BORINGGGGGG OH MY GODD. if you've heard one blackbear feature, congrats you've heard them all because they all sound the same and blackbear adds no energy whatsoever. he made a bayside instrumental sound boring you really can't underestimate him. anyways back to the song itself; the situationship has dissolved into pure sex and disinterest and annoyance outside of that and with the way awsten sounds like he plans having hate sex, i don't think he's ever had hate sex before. there's the ending synth i think is fun and that's the only reason this gets a point at all. 1/10

closer - it's a sweet song but um. haven't we heard this in a way before? *cough cough 21 questions* i think this is the closest (lol) parx comes to at a return to pre-fandom form, but when i listen to the chords too much i'm just like "did he lowkey rip off that one smashing pumpkins song". anyways it's just about needing to be closer to someone or ending the relationship completely. simple but effective but not nearly as effective as 21 questions for me sorry. 7/10

a night out on earth - ok i had physical tickets to the last tour bc i won them on idobi so i was like "THIS SONG BETTER BE AT LEAST DECENT BC I STILL HANG UP THE TICKET WITH THIS NAME" and it was at the least. it's like. a good waterparks song, but i feel like i've heard it already? my mind goes back to see you in the future but for these i can't tell who's ripping off who more lol. yeah i feel like other than some interesting production here and there it's a rehash of shit we already heard before. shoehorned religious lyric. fake ass band guys. "i turn my agony into songs and people only like when i'm hurt". "i've been dead since 2016" (part two). "i'm evil now. idgaf. wat ever."

and then i think the part that makes me go awwww but also confuses me is the im a natural blue radio interview snippet? like why does this all tie in together now. geoff's not even here bro how is this the only release where otto's the only one namedropped when awsten hasn't even named dropped him until last album. 80% the album is about some random relationship how is this supposed to tie into all of these.

idk i feel like i've just had this on my mind when when of my mutuals made their own analysis on awsten's mindsets towards life and said how he uses fear as motivation but his perfectionism keeps him from using failure as an editor and how this song was the peak example of this; the rehash of the same ideas over and over because despite his stubbornness, despite "ultimately -not- giving in to the perception that you’re worth ‘Demonizing'", he never confronts the problem for real, just compartmentalizes the problem away and doesn't truly overcome the root of his problems. that's what i feel like manifests in this album for me to be put off by it at its core. nothing ever changes, he just finds a new situation to complain at. maybe that's also why his fans never change even as new ones come though. maybe that's why we also stay stagnant in this with him.

again i get it, he's a public figure; if he did dive too deep into this and didn't choose to generalize the lyrics for his own sake, he would probably end up incriminating himself way too much and have a hard time performing some of these songs. but i can't help but wonder. if he's truly getting over a mental obstacle like that, or keeps himself so set on the future that he ignores the problems he never solved. like he always does. like he always seems to be doomed to. anyways, 7/10 song.

all in all, it's an album that tries to reach a concept of coming to terms with your sexuality and religious trauma all entwined in fame but in reality it's mostly just about a sucky situationship and awsten complaining again while putting in random religious references sometimes and the beginning and ending are about fame. my hot takes are: tennis imagery = gay sex, there's not enough of a distinction between "soulsucker" and awsten to make "album lore" when the overarching concept of parx's discography is "awsten's life sucks", and darth vader is luke's father. - iz

#i hope you liked this one anon and i hope it explains or relates to any other longtime fan's thoughts on the album #track by track

[cynthiaandsamus]

Melanc: "Hello, Cynttthia! I hear you are experienced in handling pokeballs. I myself have never actttually caughttt a pokemon. Could you perhaps ttteach me?"

//Pardon the triple t. That is just how she talks/types. She overenunciates the letter T. Typing and speech quirks are a Thing in homestuck if you aren't aware.

"Sure, I could give you some pointers, I've helped some other friends like Samus and Linkle with raising pokemon so anything you need to know I'll be glad to help~"

[ebongawk]

25) for the beautiful Hellcheer fake dating AU which blew my little brain 😁😁

25. Is there anything you would change now about this fic (we're a lie (you and I))? Why or why not?

One of my biggest fears when writing we're a lie was that I was overenunciating some of the themes and scenes. While I didn't cut a lot that I had already written, there were a few scenes and instances that I didn't end up writing at all for fear of overextending the plot and boring my readers. A Lot happens to Eddie and Chrissy in that universe in a relatively short amount of time because I tried to stay as close to the canon timeline as I could, and while it's not out of the realm of possibility that so much might happen in a span of a couple months, it was stressful in that so much came at them at once and that I didn't have an opportunity to, like, give them any real moments of peace.

tldr; I would've made it longer lmao

(also tysm I'm so happy you liked my little weirdos 🥰🥰)

ask meme

#hellcheer #eddissy #we're a lie (you and I) #writing #my writing #ebongawk ask #ymaohoh

[zoomertheweimarwolf]

Aitheris | A Ninjago AU

Before I start this I would like to give some context, back in 2022 I started writing this, it is also on Wattpad because it’s all that I had at the time, this au will follow the same major plot points as the original but with a twist because we have my oc Vayu, master of the wind, who you will learn more about as the story goes on. The current goal is to get through seasons 4-5, 8-15, and so far season 4 is complete (with this first chapter being rewritten recently), so enjoy the first arc, as I am going to go write season 5 now.

Tournament of Elements | Chapter 1: Travels

The sun had set and night soon fell over Ninjago City, lights from buildings lit the area along with the waxing gibbous moon that continued to rise into the sky, casting it's light over Ninjago. Cars and people could be heard on the streets, returning home after a long day of work, or enjoying the city at night, for as much danger that truly lied in the city, it was a beautiful place.

But of course, not everyone would be returning home and relaxing, for some, their adventure had just begun as two cloaked women ran between the ally ways and roof tops of buildings, staying in the shadows as they continued onward until they had reached their destination, the docks.

The docks were on the older side, creaking with every step taken on them, stretching out far into the water, the two women stepped out onto the open, walking along until they reached the end of the dock.

"So... we got here first?" One of the cloaked women asked as she looked around, she wore a dark cyan cloak, and a dragon mask that covered her face, matching the cyan colour theme.

"I guess so," the other woman said, her cloak was a bright orange, not the best for sneaking around but it looked good, she adjusted her cherry red hair to sit better in her hood, "remember Vayu, you don't have to come with me."

"I know I know, I just worry," Vayu admitted, "I want to make sure you are okay Skyler, besides that note said elemental masters, I'm an elemental master too."

The two watched slowly as more and more people began to arrive at the docks, Skyler began to talk with some of them as Vayu just looked over the crowd, her eyes then locked onto a person, he wore a green gi and golden shoulder pads, he pulled his mask down and began to talk with three others who wore similar clothing.

Something about this boy interested Vayu, he felt familiar somehow, although she had never seen him in her life she knew there was something up, he held a determined and confident look on his face, whoever these people were, they came with a plan.

Eventually a horn sounded, Vayu and Skyler walked to the end of the dock with everyone else, a man walked across the plank they had set up between the boat and the dock, he stood beside it, with one arm behind his back and the other gesturing towards the ship.

"Watch your step ladies," He spoke in a cold but amused tone, he had a lisp where he overenunciated the 's' in his words.

Skyler looked back with a smile towards Vayu and then looked back at the others before entering the ship with Vayu close behind her, they both made their way to an upper lever of the ship, Skyler leaned on the railing looking at the others get on, Vayu watched for a bit before going down to the main floor of the ship as it began to depart.

Walking down the looked at the other elemental masters, training and showing off their abilities, she observed their powers with curiosity.

"..grandson to the master of speed..."

Vayu looked over to see an older man, he spoke with the ninja as they followed him through the ship, was he an elemental master too?

She walked off to another end of the ship to continue observing the other masters, feeling the cool breeze gently hit her mask and run along her cloak, she heard people moving throughout the ship, and the waves of the ocean gently lap against the boat as the ocean was calmer tonight, everything felt calming about tonight, the view was calming, the sounds were- THUNK!

Startled, Vayu looked up, she heard the sound of two people fighting on the upper level, wait.. "Skyler!" Vayu worried as she ran to the upper levels, passing by people who looked curious as to what was going on.

Making it to the third level she saw it, the red ninja and a man who's skin became metallic were fighting, the other ninja along with the older man watched as the metal man threw him across the ship, the red ninja dodging his attack before his foot was grabbed through the floor and he was dragged down to a lower level.

"What the heck are they doing!?" She hissed, running up beside the green ninja, "You have to get your friends under control before they do further damage to the ship!"

"I-"

"Skyler!" Vayu cut the ninja off as she ran over to her friend, who was holding onto her wrist, "are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine Vayu, I promise," Skyler reassured her as Vayu checked on her wrist, light bruises had formed on them from the metal man's grasp, "I can take care of myself."

"I know, I know..." Vayu sighed, "I just.. You know I want to protect you, I don't want to loose my best friend.”

"Same here," Skyler smiled.

"Enough!!!" They heard Clouse shout, everyone went to the lower levels to see what was going on.

The metal man walked away to the other end of the boat as the red ninja laid on the ground, Skyler walked over to him to help him up, Vayu stayed back, watching the two when she felt a presence beside her, it was the green ninja again.

"So that lady is your friend?" The green ninja asked her, his tone friendly.

"Yeah, and I'm assuming that hot head is your friend?" Vayu guessed.

The green ninja nodded, Vayu looked over to Skyler, who looked over at the front of the ship again, nodding in a way saying she would wait for Vayu there, she turned her attention back to the green ninja.

"So what's your power then?" Vayu asked him, being unable to figure out his element from his attire.

"Energy," he smiled, "what's yours? Speaking with animals?" He pointed at her draconic mask.

"No," she lightly smacked his hand away, "I'm the master of wind."

"oh wind? Well I guess the dragon mask makes more sense then, since dragons can fly through the wind, right?"

"You could say that," Fern stated as the two started walking to the front of the ship, "I am going to go back to my friend now, your should go back to yours."

"oh, yeah," he said, looking around before adding, "My name is Lloyd, what's yours?"

"I'm Vayu," she responded before starting to walk towards Skyler, who was waiting near the front of the ship.

"Well then Vayu, good luck in the tournament," Lloyd smiled, before walking off towards the old man at the very front of the ship.

"oh.. yeah you too," Fern said, a bit confused, he was going to be an opponent right? why be so kind?

Fern joined Skyler, standing beside her as the island came into sight, multiple towering mountains peaked up into the clouds, a lush forest painted the landscape a gorgeous green, and a light fog swayed over the ocean waters. They were here, the Tournament of Elements had just begun.

#ninjago #ninjago oc #tournament of elements #lloyd garmadon #ninjago kai #ninjago karlof #ninjago skylor #Skyler’s name is never consistant in the show #ninjago garmadon #ninjago clouse #fanfiction #I’m still working on murder drones stuff #I just forgot to post this for months

[strangelock221b]

E5. Right off the bat, Mrs. Ferrars is a huge bitch. Who cares which kid is taller? They're both growing so their current heights won't matter in about a month or two. Talking down to the young women like that is poor, poor manners on Mrs. F's part. Lady, the only reason anyone, and I do mean anyone, puts up with you is because of your money. If you were as poor as the Dashwood ladies, no one would give you the time of day.

Robert's a Karen. He takes after his mother. I'd feel sorry for Lucy but he's exactly what she deserves.

Lucy hanging on Mrs. Ferrars' every word like she's the Queen or something. Lucy, dear, do something about your nose -- it's awfully brown. Mrs. F is acting like she's interviewing governesses. Wow. No manners and no class either. It's amazing that no one has ever slapped this woman.

Lucy can't tell the difference between a genuine cough and covering a laugh with a cough. She's manipulative and conniving, but not very bright. It's quite a feat.

"Your brother's old wife." Old? Lucy, bite your fucking tongue, Fanny is probably in her late twenties, certainly not older than mid-thirties. Old, my ass.

Lucy saying she's to "look after" John and Fanny's kid. So she IS going to be a governess, just apparently an unpaid one? (Or maybe "au pair" is a better term here.) Lucy, open your damn eyes.

Ooo, Lucy's hinting that Mrs. F doesn't like Elinor and there's no hope for her. Bitch. You'd think she'd learn that you catch more flies with honey, but I guess she's emulating Mrs. F in all things.

Edward drops in, now he's facing the woman he loves and the woman he's engaged to. I'd feel sorry for you, dude, but you brought this on yourself.

I'm surprised Lucy isn't picking up on the UTTER DISDAIN Elinor feels for her and is barely disguising. But then, Lucy doesn't see below the surface of anyone.

"Some ladies do age quickly." Good God, you're hopeless, Lucy. Elinor is 19 and looks it. You are incapable of speaking about another woman, even ones who aren't your rivals, without insulting them, aren't you?

I'd wager that this Lucy is worse than all the versions that come after her. A truly unpleasant woman. Even when she's supposed to be friendly, she fails miserably.

She really doesn't get that Edward is inching away from her emotionally. Edward, just rip the bandage off, this is ridiculous.

Marianne has joined them. The actress is overenunciating every line. Honestly, I don't think she's a good actress. She's also deepened her voice to sound more serious or whatever but it just sounds fake.

Between Marianne staring him down and Lucy's simpering, I'm surprised Edward hasn't run yet. "I really must go." Ha! I knew it!

Lucy's ridiculously huge white muff and Marianne's ugly brown dress make me wonder what drugs the costume designer was on. Whatever they were, they weren't good enough.

"Goodbye, Edward." Elinor's treating him like one of the family instead of a suitor. She's truly given up.

"the lady of Henry Palmer, Esquire" Proof that whoever wrote this screenplay didn't pay close attention to the book -- that very line in the book has Mr. Palmer's first name as THOMAS, not Henry. WTF?

"Mrs. Jennings, a grandmother." Um, Fanny, Mrs. Jennings already has grandkids by her daughter Lady Middleton. Seriously, this screenwriter is full of shit.

Anne's as talkative as Charlotte and Mrs. Jennings but she needs to learn when to shut up.

Fanny's having the mother of all conniptions. She actually called the Steele girls sluts. That's definitely NOT in the book. I doubt Ms. Austen ever used that word. It existed in her time but she had more class than that. Somebody get me the screenwriter, I just want to talk. I definitely prefer Fanny '95's freak out over this woman's guttural screeching.

Marianne finally realizing what Elinor has been going through while she was too busy moaning about Willoughby. I hope this reality check hurts, girl. It's high time you realized the world does not revolve around you and your mood swings.

"Lucy does not want sense" Elinor, have you MET Lucy?

"You've made me hate myself forever." Finally, a fucking breakthrough. Shut up, Marianne.

Does John really think that just because he's married into the Ferrars family, that means his half-sisters have to kowtow to Mrs. F too? He's so full of shit and the girls call him on it, thankfully.

#sense and sensibility #sense and sensibility 1981

[lunaeclipse-solstice]

After a traumatic motorcycle accident, Geralt is left with brain damage. Aphasia, the doctors call it, rendering him unable to read, write, and speak, (well, almost).Escaping to the city to get away from pitying looks, he meets his across-the-hall neighbor, Jaskier, an eccentric up-and-coming musician who's determined to befriend him despite the barrier in communication.

Armed with hums, grunts, and 'fucks', will Geralt let the idiot in room 604 break down his walls, or will his past trauma be too much for him to overcome?

Excerpt below the break.

When Geralt came to consciousness-the bright luminescent lights causing his head to pound and the harsh chemical-clean smell tickling his nose-the first thing he said was a deep, heartfelt, ‘Fuck!’

When the doctors asked how he was feeling, he meant to say ‘I’m fine,’ but what actually came out was an exasperated, slightly pointed ‘Fuck.’

When his family asked if he was okay, all he could do was lean his head back on his pillows, gaze on the ceiling, and mutter ‘Fuck…’

Aphasia, the doctors said. A loss of speech caused by brain trauma. He could still talk, if you considered uttering the word ‘fuck’ in place of every single other word in the dictionary as talking, then yeah, he could. Problem was, he couldn’t communicate.

The aphasia also took away his ability to read. What used to be legible words turned into a squiggly moving mass that didn’t make sense no matter how long he stared. Take away his speech, fine, he didn’t give a damn. He had always been called a man of few words. But no, it hadn’t been just his speech. He had an overstuffed bookcase back at his apartment that was garbage for all it did to him now. No more rainy days curled up on the couch with a mug of tea and a book. He’d give some to Vesemir, and sell whatever he didn’t want. His inability to read affected more than just his hobbies. He couldn’t drive anymore since he couldn’t read the street signs, not like it mattered much, since his bike was lying in a junkyard somewhere as a heap of scrap metal.

He couldn’t write, either, his pen freezing right before it hit the page, his brain unable to visualize the letters. Similarly, any attempt to memorize ASL was also worthless, the signs never sticking no matter how many times he was shown.

Through small mercies, he could still understand people, more or less. If they spoke slowly and clearly. Sometimes he had to pause and puzzle out what they said, but it was still better than not being able to understand at all, to be robbed of all efforts of communication.

His brain was a muddled mess. His thoughts weren’t limited to the word ‘fuck’ thankfully, but the problem was that his thoughts weren’t words at all. His mind was a chaotic symphony of noise that only his brain understood. Words hovered right out of reach. He could see a tree and his brain would go ‘Oh, I know what that is, absolutely. It’s a- it’s a…..fuck.’

It was frustrating, knowing what everything was but being unable to grasp the word, feeling it slip right through his fingers.

He knew, logically, that it could be worse. He could be dead. The drunk driver that careened into his lane didn’t give him a chance to break or swerve, or do anything but brace for impact. He was lucky his bike had taken most of the force, leaving him with only some cuts and bruises, a fractured wrist, sprained ankle, some broken ribs, and the head trauma. It could be worse. He knew that, but it didn’t make it any better.

So, yeah, it was horrible. It was all horrible. But the worst part, the absolute worst part, was the people. The people who heard of his accident, of his condition, and their first instinct was to baby him. To talk louder or with exaggerated slowness and overenunciation, to touch and grab him and act like he was stupid.

Sure, he could only communicate in hums, grunts, vague hand gestures, and the occasional ‘fuck’, and maybe he had to rely on objects and pictures to get through his everyday life. But that didn’t make him stupid, and he loathed when people acted otherwise. He could get through his shopping without help, and he didn’t need some person looking to use him as their good deed of the day to help him order his coffee.

That was entirely the reason Geralt had moved. He’d lived in a town at the base of the blue mountains, so small it could be called a village, with his foster-father Vesmir and his two foster-brothers, Eskel and Lambert.

After the accident, Geralt had stayed with Vesmir while he was recovering. Vesemir’s house was secluded, nestled in the mountains. There was only a steep rocky trail to guide you up or down, no roads or room for cars. It was nice, but Geralt could still feel the stares and hear the whispers when he went to town. He had left as soon as he was able. Packing all of his things and moving to the first big city he could think of.

Read it on AO3 Here

#geralt #geralt of rivia #the witcher #jaskier #eskel #gerskier #lambert #aiden x lambert #vesemir

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

31 / 22 / 19 for the oc ask thing if youd like :)

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Anthea would LOOOOOOVE tumblr she has a custom theme with glitter cursors and buttons and autoplay (she is annoying). she has a page of userboxes and blinkies. relationship wall with all her mutuals. shed rb magical girl gifsets and pretty pink aesthetic and flowers and moomin and princess tuatu nd occasionally rly romantic violent bloody art but shes not even trying to be edgy and also she vagueblogs like constantly. she also rbs those posts that r like "i dont even think "im gonna kill myself" is a threat anymore at this point i repeat it to myself to get out of bed in the morning"". this understandably causes sicely some anxiety, who only has a tumblr blog because anthea asked them to, and basically only follows her and doesnt talk they just rb their own aesthetic (Pacific northwest wanderlust and model trains and animal videos) and post their own amateur photography for like 2 notes (both anthea liking + rbing).

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

shoutout to that weirdo from my DG days that kept calling caroline "a baby" 😭 bro she is just autistic. and is killing people

im interested in seeing ppl mischaracterize my carousel waltz kids! 🥰 i bet opal will get the treatment this time around

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

ANTHEA PATEL!!!! I've had her as an OC for 4 years and began as a love letter to RGU that rapidly blossomed into her own beautiful character and I love her very much. Her unique sense of humor (her contradictory frankness and underhandedness) her predictable shortcomings and struggles (being inconsiderate and nostalgic to a fault), her strengths (her devotion and canniness), and her unique speech patterns (runon sentences and overenunciating + a big vocabulary) make her infinitely interesting to write and her dynamic with sicely is something i think im going to revist in my art time and time again. I love every story ive ever had the pleasure of telling with her. its clear that she speaks to a lot of people as well and it makes me really happy that ive been able to connect to an audience with her :)

#THANK U CYAN MY FRIEND CYAN #cecil drawls #anthea patel

[absolxguardian]

With Andor introducing a lot of people to lost planets for the first time, I’d like to post some excerpts from Battlefront Twilight Company by Alexander Freed, the first new eu novel to introduce the concept of planets with human populations cut off from the wider galaxy and lost their access to “modern” technology. Also Twilight Company is pretty similar in tone to Andor, being a darker military thriller showing the regular infantry soldiers of the Rebellion. 

There are two characters from different lost planets in the novel. One, the main character, Hazram Namir, comes from a planet embroiled in endless war. The other one is an Imperial defector named Everi Chalis, who came from a planet whose residents struggled to survive. She became the apprentice to Count Vidian from A New Dawn, but faced constant discrimination. The Kenari seemed to have a better time of things than other lost planets. The excerpts are things that I think are pretty universal to people from lost planets, and help give an idea of what it was like for Kassa to be thrust into the wider galaxy.

The excerpts are kind of long, so I put them under the cut. 

Chalis stood from her table and carried her bowl to the washstand. Namir kept his eyes on his food but couldn’t help tracking her in his peripheral vision. She walked back toward him, seated herself at the opposite corner of his table. “I’m going to give you some advice, Sergeant, because you’ve been useful to me and I think you need it. You can listen or not.” 

This time, it wasn’t the words that caught Namir’s attention. Her voice shifted as she spoke, rising in pitch and losing that odd, artificial enunciation. It took on a new accent—not entirely foreign and not entirely familiar—that brought back memories of a world Namir hadn’t seen in years. 

Chalis shrugged, and when she spoke again, the accent was gone. “You’re from Khuteb? Promencius Four? One of those Old Tionese colonial backwaters, I imagine, though I can’t place the dialect.” 

“One of those,” Namir said, almost too soft to hear. 

“Fine,” Chalis said. “So you’ve barely seen a working sanitation station by the time you’re ten years old. The Rebellion comes and uplifts you, gives you food”—there was some scorn to the word, accentuated by a flap of her hand toward Namir’s tray—“and shelter. Not much, but it’s an improvement. Naturally, you pledge your allegiance to your saviors. Am I close so far?”

“I grew up like you did,” Chalis said, though she didn’t look up. “Not on your particular colonial disaster, but close enough.” 

“Crucival,” Namir said. “It was called Crucival.” 

Chalis didn’t seem to hear him. “We had nothing,” she said. “My mother tried to sell me to a Trade Federation exploratory vessel when I was six. I was too small. Out of pity, the captain gave me a packet of nectrose crystals. 

“Imagine this little girl who sleeps on her mother’s stained mattress in the ruins of a bombed-out paper mill. Nectrose—you’re supposed to sprinkle it in water—it makes things sweet and fruity, but I didn’t know that. 

“I didn’t have fresh water. I’d stick my fingers in the crystals and lick them off. I rationed them, gave myself a treat once a week for months. I broke out in hives every time. It was the most wonderful thing I’d ever encountered. 

“That was how I knew I had to leave my world. It was how I realized I was living in filth, eating garbage and drinking poison, when offworlders were so rich they could throw nectrose packets to children.”

Something had changed in Chalis’s voice. It took Namir time to recognize it beneath the rasp, but her accent had changed. Once again, the strange overenunciation was gone, and the way she spoke was suddenly familiar. 

She almost sounded like she was from Crucival. 

“I got into the Colonial Academy. How isn’t important. I trained as an artist. I made it offworld and found I was still the lowest of the low, a pretty savage rich sponsors put to work as a novelty. Under the Republic, I had nowhere to go. I could scrabble and claw against the sides of the pit until my hands bled and never climb out. 

“When the Empire rose, it wasn’t kind to me. But it rewarded success. Count Vidian saw some…quality in my sculpture. An ability to visualize concepts in a way he couldn’t. He offered me an apprenticeship and my art fell to the wayside. 

“I did horrible things, Sergeant. I proposed mining the atmosphere of an inhabited planet, leaving its people wheezing the rest of their lives. I found ways to make slavery efficient again. I told a moff I loved him and slit his throat as a favor to another. 

“But I thought it was worth it. I climbed to the top of the hierarchy by being a damn good adviser. I earned the respect of men who thought generations of ‘good breeding’ was the key to success.” 

Her tone had become bitter, and specks of spittle dotted the front of her datapad. Her shoulders rose and fell even before she began coughing. What started as a dry rasp became wet and mucosal, like the heaves of a woman rotting on the inside. 

Namir merely watched, waited. He felt neither sympathy nor pity. 

Finally the coughing subsided. A few moments later, Chalis resumed. “Now I know the truth,” she said. For the second time since he’d entered the room, she looked up at Namir. 

“The truth?” he asked. 

“I never had respect,” Chalis said. “The moffs never considered me an equal. Darth Vader never considered me a threat. The Emperor sent Prelate Verge—a brainless sycophant—after me while Vader was…” She waved a hand dismissively. “…chasing rebels. 

“The Ruling Council never saw me as anything but a runt of a sculptor from a backwater planet. I gave up everything to defect and they barely even cared.”

Hazram Namir did not fully believe he had left the planet Crucival until Gadren—the creature from the camp—walked him to the viewport of the starship Thunderstrike. He’d ridden a drop ship up from the planet’s surface, nearly vomited down his shirt in the back of the windowless box as it rattled and clanged viciously, and he’d swayed unsteadily while descending a ramp into the Thunderstrike’s docking bay.

He’d never seen so much metal and plastic in one place before. The Rebel Alliance’s Sixty-First Mobile Infantry didn’t need to conquer Crucival. If it wanted the planet, it could buy it.

He stood alone at the viewport long after Gadren had moved on. Crucival seemed small and petty amid the stars, a mottled sphere of green and gray and yellow too insignificant to hold a single city, let alone nations.

He thought of what he was leaving behind to fly away in an alien cage. He had not expected to miss the yellow grass or the clouds. They had been fundamental to his existence; now they had been stripped away.

Yet when his mind turned to Pira, to his father, to everyone he had left far below, he felt as weightless and free as the ship.

He was out at last.

Private Hazram Namir had been in his bunk disassembling and reassembling a DLT-20A blaster rifle when word about Alderaan came down. It hadn’t meant anything to him. Only the fact that Howl had announced it over the Thunderstrike’s intercom indicated the planet’s destruction was anything out of the ordinary: In the two months since Namir had joined Twilight Company, he’d seen weaponry that could melt gleaming cities into slag, fought beside more species than he could name, heard stories of a Galactic Empire that held millions of stars in its grip. If he’d been told that planets were a common casualty of war, he’d have believed it without a second thought. 

In the mess hall that night, however, he’d seen the bitter faces of his comrades and heard their stunned oaths. Whatever had happened, it was something new. 

“You said they’d bombed and gassed planets before,” he’d asked Gadren. “What’s different about this one?”

Gadren had looked at Namir with his alien eyes and said, “This is the difference between the hope of life and absolute death. Everything that was Alderaan is now gone.” 

He hadn’t understood entirely, but he grasped enough. He’d seen the Malkhanis and the Creed and others eradicated, purged until only the tattoos of the exiled and the dead remained.

If you’re fascinated by the idea of lost planets in Star Wars, again I recommend reading Battlefront Twilight Company. And like I said, its similar in tone to Andor. If you want something that has a lost planet as its main setting, I recommend Phasma. Her homeplanet is basically Fallout crossed with Mad Max. The only other piece of Star Wars media that has dealt with lost planets is the Star Wars Rolepaying Game sourcebook Nexus of Power, which describes the planet of Weik. But that’s more tongue-in-cheek than the novels, as its just a planet to let you play a more medieval fantasy setting while still being inside Star Wars.

#andor #star wars #sw #sw andor #sw battlefront #sw phasma

[paganminiskirt]

Somebody really needs to ask Steven Ogg or someone else from the GTA 5 team how much of Trevor’s character was based on Frank Booth from Blue Velvet. Trevor mimics some of his mannerisms to a T, right down to overenunciating his swear words and lapsing into baby talk at inappropriate times. He even shouts “I’ll f_ck anything that moves.” Trevor couldn’t be more him if he tried.

#trevor philips #gta v #gta 5 #blue velvet

[golbrocklovely]

I think you are softly spoken - quiet even - until you're around people you're super comfortable with. Then i think you can get a little louder, but not by much. I get the impression that you go out of your way to listen intently to whomever is speaking and you dont interrupt them while they're are speaking. I think you treat people the way you wished you had been treated. Accent? I keep thinking of you as an east coast person. Not a strong Boston type accent or anything. But you would sound different from my Wisconsin accent. Appearance? Maybe a deep mahogany or chestnut hair colour with some waves, maybe deep brown eyes, a quick but shy smile that you try to cover up. I think you're very, very slow to anger, but once you are, it's like a firecracker. It may blow up and make a terrific momentary show but it fizzles out very quickly and you regain your chill. I think you're of short to average height, slightly curvy build but you think youre overweight because of what society or perhaps people surrounding you growing up have made you believe. I think youre the friend to everyone when they need it, but are also the friend that gets left out. I think it takes a lot for you to end any friendship because you forgive easily even if you dont forget. You give chance after chance after chance until you hit that limit. Have I got anything right?

damn… do you know me irl lol

you got a lot right, i'll give you that. but i'll clarify a couple things haha

i am quiet, i guess, to some extent. i think i'm more calculated in what i say depending on the situation. but you are right that around new ppl i'm quiet and then with ppl i'm more comfortable with i'm loud.

i do talk over ppl and sometimes i don't pay attention, but i think that's bc of my undiagnosed (but trying to get diagnosed) adhd. i have about 1000 thoughts going thru my head at any given time so sometimes i just spit stuff out in the moment bc otherwise i'll forget it (bc i also have the memory of a spoon sometimes). that's why i do well when i write. i'm able to get everything out that i want to say.

i am from the east coast, i live near philly. so i do wonder what my accent would sound like to someone that isn't from around here. hell there are ppl that are around me that have THICK fucking accents to me so i can only imagine what mine might sound like. i think mine is also a bit different bc i did theater so i overenunciate sometimes.

i do have brown hair, probably in between those two colors, but… my eyes are hazel. but they read as brown so i guess you're kinda right haha

slow to anger… debatable. i think it depends on what's happening, whether or not i'm feeling good, and the subject. i do get annoyed very easily. it takes little to nothing to annoy me lol angry tho? hit or miss.

i am short, and i am overweight. i think i wear my weight well tho.

and i'm just gonna rant about this for like two seconds so ignore this if you wanna. i got to my heaviest in college, and i was a size 18. i have since lost a decent amount of weight, and now i'm in between what i was in high school and what i was in college. tell me how i went UP a pant size and i'm now a 20. i'm like…….. did the sizing change bc i literally didn't buy clothes for a year or two??????? but something like this has happened to me before too. back when i was in middle school/hs i lost 40 lbs during the summer but i remember measuring my thighs and they got BIGGER. and that happens now anytime i lose weight. my thighs will get bigger. i dONT NEED BIGGER THIGHS ! okay sorry about that lmao

so back to your ask, i would say the last bit is definitely true, and funny enough i've never ended a friendship. ppl just… stop talking to me. so, that's usually when i get the hint that they don't want to be friends anymore. which is infuriating for a number of reasons. i would much rather someone just tell me to my face that they don't want to be friends anymore than ghost me into oblivion. like, while it would hurt for someone to tell me they don't want to be friends, at least it doesn't leave as many "what ifs" as ghosting, which i fucking HATE. i've also learned within the last couple years that i'm not gonna beg someone to be my friend. that's dumb, and we're all too old to play games like that.

ffs, i'm 27. you either vibe with the fact that i like twilight and the jonas brothers a lot or you don't lol it's not that complicated.

#ask #personal

[corvidexoskeleton]

Sometimes I think it's a shame that like 99.9% of the music from celtic frost/triptykon is in english, but then I think about what the alternative is and realize that hearing those sounds coming out of my man's mouth might not be the best experience

#text post tag #🤔 #now if it was just regular standard german it would probably be fine #mostly? #the german bit in synagoga satanae seemed fine to me at least #but then like..... dunno if i could handle listening to him hitting his O's and L's any harder than he does already #i say ''might not be the best experience'' as if i dont mean that it would just be weird after hearing mostly english from the guy #i mean even if he did decide to go all in and just go with swiss german instead of standard he'd probably make it work just fine #esp since he doesnt really sing so much as make a series of aggressive grunting sounds #eh idk #one of those things that probably wouldnt be an issue in reality but is incredibly entertaining to joke about #''haha man make a funnee sound'' as if the issue isnt that its just weird hearing german spoken like its french #and with some overenunciation #is it funny? or is it just incredulity? or both?? #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #anyways the au in which celtic frost/triptykon were sung in swiss german isntead of english is going to be haunting my nightmares #like that meme of the bird going ''oh god. oh jesus'' #but its also extremely funny that the image tom seems to present is that of a fairly composed n intelligent person #but then remembering what his native language sounds like #and then applying that to his public image #its like if you met hades and he had a thick southern us accent #but the majority of the time just spoke with a relatively mild one instead #very incongruous

[tiixij]

nothing quite so embarrassing as that one time i was talking in class and had to say the word 'community'

#op #for some reason if im not overenunciating it i just . cannot say it right #anyways no one understood what i had said 💔

[melpomeneese]

I was talking to my mom about how the book she bought me of naked women painted reading is ironically full of male painters and she responded that for a very long time, women have been pushed out of many professions and my response was yes, but darling there have ALWAYS BEEN WOMEN PAINTERS I have taken one art history class in all my years and I know could this to be fact if this was so trying for them could THESE “art historians” (the authors I suppose) simply not have used le Goo-GELL?

#I for some reason #morph into an overenunciating golden age cinema actress #when I am upsetted #le pinterest is also good #I'm not an art historian #but I have a blog dedicated to art history #with alot of female painters #it was not hard #art history #history major #text #women painters #drama #art history book #art book #book problems #sexist nonsense #mysogynistic bullshit #the follies of mel

[bloodykora]

Sometimes Vampires Have a Hard Time Too

I did it fuckers. TW: Panic attack

MBAV Masterlist

Summary: Rory gets overwhelmed while at school and reader is there to help him calm back down.

Everything was too much. Too many people. Too many sounds. Too many people talking. Too much to smell. Too many smells. Sweat, blood, food, blood, clothes, blood, blood, blood. Hearts pumping, arteries veins, heartbeat. Over and over in Rory’s head, thoughts consuming his brain. He could normally handle it yet today everything around him was too much to handle.

His hands retreated to his face, trying to focus yet getting nowhere. So many bodies brushing against his, students speedwalking to their destinations. His breathing began to quicken, his normally deadly heartbeat starting to rise. It was a weird feeling, so much more intense than when he was a human. He couldn’t breathe, only wanting one thing to calm him. Blood. Rory started stumbling back, head dizzy until he hit the school wall. Sliding down it, into a small huddle trying to get out of his mind. Rory started his habits when he had panic attacks, rocking himself while grasping at the sides of his head. Every student ignored him, pushing it off as normal Rory behaviour. He stayed there for what he felt like we're hours, not being able to breathe or think. He couldn’t even stay on one single thought at this point, just everything clashing together. It was hell, hearing every word about him.

Then it was silenced, replaced by the sound of piano. It was like the human personification of heaven came to rescue him. He gazed up to see you, eyes yellow, sitting on the ground in front of him. Eyes filled with worry, you notice the eye contact and speak.

“Is it okay if I touch you?” You overenunciate to him, asking permission. He looked down for a second before shaking his head no. He looks back up with guilt in his eyes.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to feel bad.” You mouth to him, relief immediately filling his eyes. For a few moments it was silent until a voice so small and quiet spoke up.

“Can I have your sweater?” Rory asks, fangs now poking out of his mouth. You nod, taking it off. It was your reindeer sweater you had bought the year prior. You and him truly emphasized how soft and comfortable it was. You handed it to him, Rory instinctively putting his face into it.

You knew about his attacks from before he was bitten and the few he had after but from what you saw it was never this bad. You could see his hands shifting every so often in the sweater while he rubbed his face. You noticed his breathing had calmed back down and his body didn’t seem as tight. You sat cross legged, hands on your legs. Looking around for others who could bother him, none in sight. Then you felt fingers brushing against your hand, you immediately opened it up for him. Lightly holding it, rubbing your thumb over his hand gently.

He peered up, fangs and eyes back to normal with no fear in them. His hand grasped yours tighter and you smiled at him. Moving a bit closer to him, inviting him into your space. His hand glided up to your elbow, holding your forearm.

You pointed at yourself then to the wall spot next to him asking if he wanted you to move. He nods his head and you move accordingly. Rory’s head leans on your shoulder, one hand in yours and the other in the sweater. You both sit for some time before he peels his hand out of yours to take off your headphones. His head lowers back on you, nuzzling in a bit.

“Thanks.” He states. You lean your head on his cherishing the small alone moment you two were sharing.

“I finished school work in class, would you like to come over and sit in my dark room with me?” You ask him.

“That sounds nice.” You pick your sunglasses off your head and hand them to him.

“You’re gonna need these ninja.” He takes them and puts them on. You stand up and give a hand out for him to take. He smiles at you and takes it with glee.

#rory keaner x reader #rory keaner #my babysitter's a vampire

[lolly-dolli]

Crossover episode in which Interview is canon in that it's ALSO about true events in the form of a docudrama made from an autobiography and Lestat is just straight up Some Guy Who Exists, and because vampires usually only care about human media according to the Roger Rabbit law of comedy none of the vampires really care. There's a cutaway gag during a talking head interview where Louis explains via voice over that it ended up failing as a docudrama as a shot of the end of the credits is shown saying "some events are dramaticized" that every human somehow missed, and Queen of the Damned is referenced as a Noodle Incident that killed any hope of trying again to reveal the novels as stealth autobiographies and maybe also alluding to and implying that the Great Fanfic Purges were due to some sort of ego meltdown on Lestat's part.

Guillermo (who has canonically at least seen the first movie, and I'd like to imagine has read the books) proceeds to find this VERY amusing because, as the Vampire Chronicles Vampires have vastly different origins to those in the WWDITS universe; and obviously none of the world-changing events from the book have actually happened here (as I'm in the middle of season 3 and quite enjoying his bastardization arc), he is the only person in the room besides the two guys who are visiting due to [insert funny council shenanigans here, IDK maybe they're getting divorced or un-divorced again and there's a lot of paperwork bullshit and Lestat invites himself into their mansion as Lestat is wont to do]. And because Guillermo is seemingly the only person here who realizes that everything post-interview is just self-insert fanfic, he proceeds to subtly call him out on his bullshit for to make him squirm.

Due to legal reasons there is a running joke in which the vampires keep mistakenly calling them Tom and Brad because None Of Them Know Who These Two Are and having to be corrected (minus Collin Robinson, who picks up on this bullshit and joins in on it for fun, and reveals that he too has seen the movie and then very awkwardly imitates a line from it in order to feed off the cameraman). Guillermo purposefully enables this.

Guillermo brings up that he's heard Lestat had a prominent musical career in the 80s but he's never had a chance to actually listen to any of his work, and asks if he can reccomend any songs for him to listen to. He purposefully does this while Lazslo and Nadja are in the room so that he can't hypnosis his way out of it and Lazslo will of course want to talk with a fellow musician (the word "musician" overenunciated in true Lazslo fashion) and asking if he wants to play some of his work later.

Louis leaves the room because he's tired of this bullshit and can't watch anymore and there's a b-plot where Nadja tries to help him reign in his idiot husband and, "stop being such a pathetic wet baby owl eating rats all of the time." She interrupts him when he says he actually doesn't do that anymore. She and him and the Nadja Doll end up having group therapy over mutual Idiot Man Who I Love problems, and Nadja especially bonds with him because, "your idiot husband turned a toddler to see what would happen? My idiot husband turned a baby!" the bonding becomes increasingly one-sided, however, when Nadja mentions that the baby is at least doing well for itself as a member of the vampiric council and when asked how Claudia is Louis is just like "well. Um. She's. Not around anymore." And Nadja assumes this as pathetic wet baby owl man speak for Claudia being estranged from them.

The climax involves Lestat being put on the spot in such a way that he cannot easily weasel his way out of it and Guillermo letting out a very small laugh which Nandoor picks up on, and upon Guillermo going "oh, nothing, I just feel kind of bad for him is all."

To which Nandoor responds with, "Tom Cruise does not need your pity, Guillermo," implying he not only was getting the names wrong despite having mediated in Vampire Divorce Or Un-Divorce court, but may have thought that Tom Cruise was actually in their home.

Guillermo has to try even harder to resist laughter.

The episode ends probably with some sort of violent chaos amongst the group as Guillermo looks to the camera with a very subtle, politely evil little smile for half a second and Louis in the background looking incredibly exhausted

#what we do in the shadows #interview with the vampire #the vampire chronicles #lestat slander #anne rice's ghost is going to curse me again for this isn't she #guillermo deserves little a cause problems on purpose. as a treat. #if you noticed any plot inconsistencies no you didn't #i like to imagine a buildingverse-type thing is also canon in this fictional episode's fictional world #i just. i NEED to see lestat and Guillermo interact I NEED TO