#anyway i'm probably misremembering some things I mentioned

[melverie]

currently thinking about Satan in nightbringer vs in the original

thinking about how in nightbringer he's always outside HoL when he wants to be alone since the others are always in the library + they keep chaining him to his bed, so he most likely doesn't feel safe in his own room to begin with

how Asmo keeps trying to invade his personal space (asking to do his hair, nails etc.) and doesn't take the hint, and how Lucifer casted a spell on Satan so he physically could not leave his side for a while, and how he's never really allowed the time to properly work through his emotions

that dinner party where the others all started talking about the Celestial Realm until Satan eventually stormed off

the way he describes being in their presence as torture and refuses to see them as his brothers, yet he's instantly calm around MC because they treat him decently

how the others kept complaining over how the demons of the Devildom were treating them-how they were discriminated against because they're fallen angels-yet they keep on treating Satan, the only full-fledged demon of HoL, like some feral animal that has to be put down in two days

currently thinking about how the very first thing we learn about Satan in the original is that he masks his emotions

him saying that he loves to go on walks alone and how he gets to meet all kinds of different people that way

thinking about how he's usually in the library instead of his room

when they were all up in the human world and the other brothers were outside stargazing, meanwhile Satan stayed inside. And when asked about it by Lucifer, he claimed it was because he wanted to read before offhandedly mentioning that they're reminiscing about the Celestial Realm and he won't understand any of it anyway

he now gets along better with all of his brothers and yet, when the two of them got lost once, he told MC that there's no need to worry, because his brothers would come looking for them, making it a point to add that they wouldn't search for him

that time Satan ran away to the human world and Levi, Asmo (arguably the two brothers closest to him) and MC came to bring him back. How he started getting angry at one of their questions, so they opted for running away instead of even attempting to comfort him in any way

how his first response after Lucifer told him to leave HoL was to actually pack his things; how he was fully intent on leaving, and how when MC comes to check on him, he instantly tells them that his brothers would never stop him from leaving, that they think it's funny

the way he seemed genuienly surprised when MC accepted after he asked them out to the dance, and then admitting he actually thought that they wouldn't want to go with him

MC being his main source for comfort, and Satan even calling them his sanctuary. How before MC it was books and cats; his room being filled to the brim with books, to the point it's become a safety hazard, and him always carrying cat treats with him

currently thinking about how Satan's first instict whenever he gets angry is to isolate himself, if possible even lock himself up in his room for days on end and how his brothers don't seem to pay it much attention (Levi once said that they already had a shut-in, they don't need another one). And how he doesn't even necessarily need to give into his wrath, how simply getting worked up over something someone else said is enough for him to isolate himself

also thinking about the whole idea of 'you become the person that would have saved you when you were younger' and how Satan in the og game is literally so full of love and very kind, patient and compassionate when given the chance to fully be himself

#you can also tell from some of his dialog in both games that he's just incredibly lonely #i just wanna hug him for eternity and tell him that everything will be okay :( #but fr the others literally keep chaining him up and then ask themselves why his behavior seems to be getting worse #hMm I wOnDeR wHy #also i'm not 100% sure about him avoiding his room in the og game #but every scene I can think of where he WAS actually in his room was because he needed something from there #anyway i'm probably misremembering some things I mentioned #obey me #obey me satan #;mel's analyses #mel's starry musings

[maskednerd]

FNAF Movie parallel Theory/Incoherent Ramblings! (Spoilers ahead.)

Originally, I was gonna give my thoughts on the film but I'm bad at opinions so theory time it is! This is just for fun and to share my thoughts.

I've only seen the film once so I might have misremembered a few things here or there. But there's no harm looking for connections and parallel to the games/books!

Since Mike isn't an Afton... his dad could be a subtle parallel to Henry Emily. Which would make Garett and/or Abby a parallel to Charlie.

Of course, the Schmidt family still has elements of the Aftons. But with all the changes to the lore, the Emily roles could have been added on rather than being non-existent like it seems.

Now, you may be wondering if I'm just desperately digging for any sign of Henry Emily in this film cus he's my favorite character (aside from Michael Afton). And to that I say-

...

Shhhhhhh... Pretend it's not that obvious.

Anywho, let's get to some of these parallels! Shall we?

Aunt Jane… Aunt Jen? Her name being a possible parallel to Henry's sister in the books.

Kinda a weak point here but I'll include it anyways. The Schmidt family is showed to be Christian, evident by Mike remembering them gathered around the table saying grave before eating. "For one of you, the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend."

Mike mentioned that his father couldn't handle the lost of Garret, vaguely implying he took his own life. In both the books and the games, Henry committed suicide due to the lost of his child. Silver Eyes had the Suicide Bot and Pizza Sim had the fire. "I am remaining as well. I am nearby."

Garret's death happened before the Missing Children Incident. In the photo that Vanessa shows with her as a child next to her father as Spring Bonnie, she has the same toy plane Garret had when he taken. Which Mike notices. But, with that photo being at the Pizzeria, it's assumed it's still open during that time. Yet Vanessa mentions the Pizzeria was closed shorty after the 5 children went missing. That photo probably wouldn't exist in that form if the place was dealing with an police investigation and a threat of closure.

During Mike's dream sequences, Garret seems unnervingly calm. Almost as though he went willingly. Yet it wouldn't make sense, out in the middle of a forest, for William to be dressed in the SpringBonnie suit in an attempt to lure him. But, if William was a family friend and trusted by his father, it would be easier to get Garret into his car.

If Garret Schmidt was a random child he abducted and murdered on a mere whim, why would "Steve Raglan" recognize that last name? Unless he saw missing posters, the news of the disappearance, or was keeping track of the viticm's families, why remember that random child you killed back in the 80s? One that wasn't even a part of the Missing Children's Incident at Freddy's?

At the end credits, there's the "COME FIND ME" audio easter egg resembling "SAVE THEM." A minigame heavily linked to the puppet, despite the puppet making no appearance nor having a single mention in the movie.

As for Abby... that springlock suit she was almost suited in looked an awfully lot like Ella, one of Charlie's toys from the books. For a reference to Elizabeth, it could have been a clown or something looking like Circus Baby. But why that possible reference to Ella?

Haven't read Silver Eyes in a a good while, but isn't there a sequence where Foxy is chasing Charlie through an arcade? Where she hides behind one of the arcade cabinets, just like Abby does?

Are these just random references and easter eggs pieced together in an incoherent rambling? Indeed they are, thanks for noticing! But that won't stop me from pointing them out for no one else to read.

#boy howdy a surprise non Owl House post! #which there unfortunately will be more of cus I got other obsessions and I'm not too anxious to show them anymore #i need to think of something to tag these ramblings as #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers

[thatfreshi]

Radio Silent (Uni AU P. 10)

tw - mentions of abuse, themes of anxiety, general insecurity

The night fizzles out the way you expect it to, disappearing without a word to your friends in the diner, letting your new, yet reluctant friend, drive you home. You'd simply deal with Shadowheart when she got back to the dorm.

Just as Astarion said, he's gone the next morning, but the two of you text quite often. He finds it easier to talk to you through pixels on a screen, where he can pretend like you're not this very real person who knows far too much about him. On the plane ride to LA, he doesn't sleep, which isn't odd for him. Instead, he thinks about the past couple of days and how you've wriggled your way into his life, into his head. Instead of trying to put his feelings into tangible sentences, he makes a playlist while waiting the hours away and catches up on some much-needed reading.

Thursday comes around, and the group is pissed at him, as you expected them to be.

"Damnit, he's the reason we picked my lunch break to do this during anyways! You think he'd at least stick to plans like a reasonable individual."

"Gale, it's not like he chose to go on a spur-of-the-moment trip to California. It's a work thing, not in his control."

You almost sound a little angry when the words come out, knowing that he's probably going through some hell that all your friends don't know about. Gale picks up on this sentiment, and leaves the conversation at that, mumbling something about how they'll all just update him on the project details later. Indeed, you all talk in the group chat with him about plans for the upcoming assignment, which he sporadically responds to. Although, he always responds to your texts, even if he ignores the group chat. Astarion argues with himself about it in his head, trying to reason with himself, saying things like 'it's just because the group chat is overwhelming.' For how good of a liar he is, he's not good at lying to himself.

Friday morning, he goes radio silent, which you're not concerned by at first. He's busy, probably busier than you've ever been in your life. Yet, he had made time to text you since Monday night. It starts to worry you when Saturday and Sunday both pass with nothing new. You hold yourself back from asking if everything's alright, knowing if something is stressing him out it's probably better to just let him deal with it and get back to you. And yet, you don't talk to him until he's back, and you're not even the first one to hear that he's back on campus.

"Oh yeah, I saw him in the elevator earlier. Tried being nice like you said, I even waved! You should be proud. Doesn't seem like he appreciated it though."

Shadow rolls her eyes, almost covered by her bangs that she desperately needs to trim. You're not sure exactly why, but you rush to his dorm room, knocking frantically. It's Monday night, which is surprising. You could've sworn he said he'd be back Tuesday morning, but maybe you misremembered. The door creaks open.

"Oh, hello Tav."

Astarion's eyes are weary, which you chalk up to not being able to sleep on the plane.

"Hello? You haven't texted me since Thursday, what the hell? I thought you like died or something."

"Nope, not dead, very much alive. Got wrapped up in some work affairs over the weekend, fashion people can be quite dramatic. Either way, I apologize. I'm still quite new to the 'having a genuine friend' thing."

"Well, how's your arm?"

He scoffs.

"It's... it's fine. Weird to have someone ask."

At this point, he's opened the door and let you in. You're welcomed to a sight of half un-packed luggage and a stack of leather binded books on the coffee table.

"Holy shit Astarion, did you rob a bookstore while you were in California?"

"Nope, all from the library. Missing out on a week of school when you're a senior here comes with its disadvantages. For example, I have had no time to work on my thesis essay, and I've barely even unpacked from the trip itself. Although, I did snag this."

He takes out a garment bag that has been carefully finessed to fit in his suitcase without wrinkling whatever is hidden inside. His fingers nimbly move to unzip the bag, revealing a white faux fur coat.

"Now, do I wear too much white? Absolutely, but passing up on this? I could never."

You almost feel bad, not knowing anything about clothes or what makes them cool, but to your credit, you know it's a nice coat. He slips it on, happy with his latest thievery.

"Well, what do you think? Is it stunning, or is it stunning?"

In that moment, while you're about to make some quip like 'go look for yourself, you realize he has no mirrors in the dorm, not even in the bathroom that you've only ever caught a glance of.

"I would say look for yourself, but you don't have any mirrors. That's shocking."

"Well, I had the one in the bathroom removed. Guess I'm just not particularly a fan of reflections."

"How come?"

He stares at a detail on the sleeve of the coat.

"You get tired of seeing your face after a while."

"Well, I think it looks fabulous, and so do you."

"Wish I felt just as fabulous."

He lets out a small laugh, shrugging his way out of the blinding fabric. There's something left unsaid in the air, you can feel it as he goes to hang up his new treasure.

"What really happened this weekend?"

Astarion tenses, almost dropping the hanger he so delicately placed the jacket on.

"I... I'd rather not say. I know I told you a lot the other night, but there are truly some things best left as skeletons in the closet. Maybe in time, but not today. I can't today."

"That's okay. I was just worried, that's all."

"Funny, I'm so used to people prying all the time. It's pleasant, getting to have secrets when I talk to you."

He comes back out into the living room.

"Would you like to stay for a while? You don't have to help unpack or anything, just be here."

"Sure, as long as you don't mind. And I would gladly help you unpack. Besides, you have a master thesis to get back to."

"I suppose I do. Thanks, I won't forget this."

"What, like you need to trade some favor back or something? Because that's not necessary."

"You're too nice for your own good."

The pale man puts some soft R&B on, and the two of you go ahead and start putting all his things away. Although, he doesn't let you handle any of his nice clothes. You learn that the hard way when he bats your hand away from a pair of very expensive jeans.

"They're just jeans, I promise I won't taint them!"

"Yes, they are just jeans, but they're also 800-dollar jeans, and I am not risking it."

You continue to ask him about various articles of clothing, what shoots he took them from. He remembers every single one. Although, he does skip out on some details, brushing past parts of his tales without a second thought. You don't mind though, knowing it's probably just things he isn't ready to talk about. At some point you become distracted by the stack of books on the nearby table, and start looking at all the titles. They're all related to ethics, morality, or philosophy in some way, but particularly focused on the psychology of abusers and the abused.

"I thought you weren't a philosophy person?"

Astarion's voice almost makes you jump, taking you out of reading the back of one of the books.

"Is this what you're doing your thesis on?"

"I mean I'd like to, but I'm still not sure. Feel as though the head of the department will be surprised when I present it to him."

"How come?"

"Because I've always made my projects, lifeless, I guess. I've always written and studied by the book, never touched on emotional topics. Just don't want people asking questions."

"So, what specifically are you going to look into?"

"The philosophy of abusers, how power imbalances change our moral codes, that kind of thing."

You lightly place the book back in the stack.

"I think you should do it. If anyone asks, just say you were curious about it."

"That's true, I am known to be quite curious. Now, are you going to help me with the rest of this, or have you given up?"

The night passes by too fast for his liking, as the two of you talk while he prepares for the week ahead. It's past midnight when you finally check your phone, seeing that you've received a couple of cheeky messages about your absence from Shadow.

"Is it late already?"

Astarion checks him phone as well.

"Perhaps it's time for you to go get some sleep darling. After all, not everyone is as extreme of an insomniac as I am."

"Yeah, I guess I should probably get back. Happy you're back though, and that you're okay."

Without really thinking about it, you go for a side hug, and make your way to the door.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. See you tomorrow Tav."

And his smile is warmer than normal, knowing there's something to look forward to after a torturous night of barely any sleep. Maybe opening up to a single soul isn't so bad after all.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #comfort #shadowheart #gale of waterdeep #freshiau

[sparxaf]

The Inscrutability of Alex

So I might be working on an S7 Alex fic. I mean, I'm probably not working that. But I could be. Maybe. Anyway, for mysterious reasons, I decided to replay the current episodes because I found myself confused by a couple things with Alex. And a second playthrough left me even more confused. I sent @mrsbsmooth a nearly three minute, babbling voice note, asking her if I was missing something, because I cannot figure out how to write him.

This character is described by multiple others as having "golden retriever" energy. Something he absolutely does not have. I'd say he's not even that playful. It's just bizarre for anyone to say that. Nothing about him is overly energetic. Both Raf and Bryson are much better described like that. Alex has the most whistle-whilst-mowing-the-lawn-in jorts-dad energy ever. Golden retriever he is not.

So okay, his energy doesn't match the description. That's not a huge issue on its own. But like...who is he? He says he's not cocky, just confident.

Hmmm. Never is a strong word, innit?

Now, a less cynical person might say that Fusebox is just writing a realistic depiction of someone who is unaware of his own cockiness, but since I am a cynical asshole, I'm saying that Fusebox is not in the business of nuance. They make the same amount of money whether they spend the extra energy to give it depth or not. So they're never gonna bother with that. This is just inconsistent writing. Now, we all know that Alex's most overtly acknowledged trait is his desire to "Take things slow." He says he's looking for the one, and he's not gonna rush that. He knows things move fast there, but he still wants to take his time. He didn't kiss Estelle on the first night. He was uncomfortable with Summer being so forward before he knew anything about her. So how does a guy who takes things slow answer a question from a virtual stranger about what he does for a living?

A dirty joke. Yes, very much setting the tone for his lack of cockiness and his desire to take things slow 🙄 Though I do enjoy MC responding with "Very presumptive, but good to know." 😆😆😆 Not to mention, when he finds out you can snog during the icebreaker, he's not like, "Um too soon." Instead his eyes light up like he can't wait. It's so baffling. So let's say maybe he's just a slow mover who is also really flirty by nature. That feels like he's sending mixed signals at best and manipulating you at the worst. Now this one really threw me for a loop. There's a gem scene where you can ask the boys to tell you something cute about themselves. Alex tells a story about having a crush on a gym bunny and how it led him to weightlifting in order to ask her out. But he kept putting it off and by the time he finally got the nerve, she was already dating someone. So he learned not to hesitate. He learned to just go for it.

Um... what? That's a strange perspective to have for someone whose entire ethos is "Take it slow." Now, I'm aware that he is very straight forward with MC about where his head is at, so perhaps he just meant that he doesn't waste time letting someone know he's interested, but he still wants to take the relationship slow? I don't know. Last, but not least, on night one, you couldn't even kiss Alex (unless I'm misremembering). You could only snuggle. But on night two, Alex says he still wants to take it slow, but he wants to a little something. So the game gives us some options. And the first choice was to do bits. Now, this might be my fault, but I assumed that "bits" in this case would be some kissing and making out. Heavy petting. Maybe some under the clothes touching. But, to my utter shock, no it's not just a heavy make out sesh. Nope. He finger blasts you. He straight up bypasses the face lips and tiddies, and goes straight to rubbing the bean and shoving a digit inside of your person. It's an awfully intimate act for someone like him who's only been alone with you three times, and beyond challenge smooches (if you chose to even take those), has still never really made out with, nor kissed you privately. I would like to clarify that I'm not judging how fast or slow anyone goes in their personal lives. But I am I'm judging this character's pace in relation to the things he's been saying about his pace.

I wrote most of this before the last batch of episodes so I'll only lightly touch on the fact that Alex seems nearly ready to ask you to marry him the day after bringing you to the villa. So "taking it slow" really went out the window altogether.

Long story long, there are aspects to Alex I like. I mean, I'm writing him right now (OR AM I?) so it's not all bad. But it's really hard to attempt any canon reinterpretation, when I can't even sort out what canon is.

It just doesn't make sense. Is he cocky or not? Is he a slow mover or does he believe in not wasting time? Is he an inner city gym rat bro, or is he a home-on-the-range papa who wants to build you a cottage, and make babies? Is his whole "slow burn" thing some kind of manipulation to hide that he's a fuckboy (which would be hilarious) or he's just very badly written?

I love a good, lively conversation, so go ahead and let me know your thoughts. But for those who are rather... overly invested in Alex, feel free to yell at me about his perfection and how wrong and dumb I am. I look forward to deleting your vitriol.

#litg fanfic #love island the game #litg s7 #litg stick or twist #litg alex #litg alex makes no sense #does he take it slow or not? #finger-gate

[lucent-nargacuga]

been thinking a lot about utdr today and I felt the need to debunk/provide alternate explanations some popular theories/interpretations surrounding gaster. I'll probably accidentally misquote/misremember things since I don't have screenshots on hand at the moment, but I'll update this post once I have them

ok. first one. "beware the man who speaks in hands" is about gaster

I can see where y'all are coming from! the wingdings text includes hands. this extremely popular theory does have some evidence supporting it.

however.

deltarune chapter 2 introduced a character we all know and love- spamton. if the player fights him as a secret boss, you'll notice that somewhere in the fight he turns his hands into phones. he even announces that he has this ability.

while it's still possible that gaster is the "man who speaks in hands", it's most likely spamton that the riverperson is talking about!

second one. "beware the man from another world" is gaster

this one could be about pretty much anyone... some people think it could be about sans or papyrus, but it could be about so sorry, or even toby fox himself. it's certainly about someone from outside of the world of undertale.

so why am I including it here? we don't really know where gaster came from, but as far as I'm aware, there's nothing that states he came from outside the world of undertale. he did shatter across space and time, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's from "another world". safe to say, it's impossible to determine who the "man from another world" the riverperson mentions is.

third one! somewhere, there's this quote that I can't quite recall, but it mentions a crack under or by someone's eye, and the crack making them appear like they are crying. many believe it's about gaster too.

the mysteryman sprite (which is commonly believed to be gaster, but again, it's not confirmed) does indeed have a facial marking that looks like either a crack or a stream of tears... but then there's asriel dreemurr.

in at least one of asriel's forms when you fight him as a boss at the end of the true pacifist route, he has two lines under his eyes that look a lot like tears. hell, he even actually cries! it's hard to say whether that line about the crack under or by someone's eye making them look like they're crying is about the mysteryman or asriel, but given what happens in the true pacifist route, I personally believe it's actually about asriel.

this one isn't about gaster, but I figured I'd put it here anyway. this is the theory that annoys me the most- mettaton created the neo body in deltarune.

first of all... as far as I'm aware, there's no evidence for this. at all. yes, we know that in undertale, alphys created mettaton neo, but in deltarune, alphys likely doesn't even know who mettaton is! while it is possible that mettaton may have designed a neo body, it's never even hinted at in the game (correct me if I'm wrong).

however, in asriel and kris' shared bedroom, interacting with asriel's computer reveals that he designed a final boss for a video game. the boss is described as a "giant creature with rainbow wings". this, of course, is an obvious reference of the absolute god of hyperdeath, but the boss is also apparently poorly drawn (like in mspaint) and... "it never saw the light of day". sounds familiar?

there's much more evidence pointing to asriel being the neo body's creator than mettaton.

(I read most of these theories somewhere on tumblr about two years ago but have since forgotten who wrote them, if someone can link the original posts to me I'd appreciate it!)

#capri rambles #undertale #deltarune #long post #ask to tag #I don't usually write long things like this since I'm not one of the big analysis guys. but I am a bit of an utdr nerd so here you go!

[still-a-morosexual-help]

if you don't mind (and you have time), could you explain a little bit about the story with solomon, asmo, and the ocean? or at least tell us where a good place to read about it is? I've tried to look into the actual stories of who the characters are based off of but it's honestly really hard to even know where to start because there's just so much to it 😭 but the stories seem so interesting especially the stuff between asmo and solomon

My original source is "I read this in a friend's religious text (?) when I was a teenager and it stuck with me" but here's some actual online places that cover the story of Solomon & Asmodeus.

*None of these stories are the ones I grew up with (i was raised buddhist) & none of these sites are ones I'm familiar with so I don't know how valid/reliable the sources are. If anyone has better sources feel free to drop a link in the replies

I'm only adding short parts from each site to this post and I'd highly recommend reading the whole thing if anyone is interested

"Confident of his own power, Solomon granted Ashmedai's wish. Instantly the demon seized the king's crown, and with a single flick of his powerful wing, hurled Solomon four hundred miles from Jerusalem.

Ashmedai then flung Solomon's magic ring into the sea, where it was swallowed by a fish. For Ashmedai thought, "If anyone should gain possession of the ring, he will know what I have done."

Then the Demon King disguised himself as Solomon and sat down upon his golden throne."

-Jewish Heritage Online Magazine

"Ashmedai remained with Solomon until the Temple was completed. One day the king told him that he did not understand wherein the greatness of the demons lay, if their king could be kept in bonds by a mortal. Ashmedai replied that if Solomon would remove his chains and lend him the magic ring, he (Ashmedai) would prove his own greatness. Solomon agreed. The demon then stood before him with one wing touching heaven, and the other reaching to the earth. Snatching up Solomon, who had parted with his protecting ring, he flung him four hundred parasangs away from Jerusalem, and then palmed himself off as the king."

-Jewish Encyclopedia

Another Talmudic legend has King Solomon tricking Asmodai into collaborating in the construction of the Temple of Jerusalem[4] (see: The Story of King Solomon and Ashmedai).

Another legend depicts Asmodai throwing King Solomon over 400 leagues away from the capital by putting one wing on the ground and the other stretched skyward.

-Wikipedia

Solomon - Britannica

*The original text I read as a teenager said Solomon himself was flung into the ocean? But none of these mention that. Then again I read that about a whole decade ago so it's highly probable I'm misremembering. But also (at least with Buddhism*) small details like that tend to differ depending on where you find the text and when you read it

eg: *did you know in some buddhist texts the horse no longer dies!!? Because apparently it makes children too sad!!?? You're telling me I had to sob my little 7yr old heart out in an art museum over this horse and kids nowadays don't get to experience that devastating heartbreak!?? That kick to the teeth!? The nerve! Why did my generation have to suffer like this!? Kids these days don't know how good they have it! Why I oughta-

anyway-

Honestly I think the easiest and most comprehensive way to digest these stories if you want to know more but are overwhelmed by how vast and interconnected they are is by finding a good reliable youtube channel that talks about them

Here are some channels that I've watched before & some I haven't (so I can't vouch for them) but are popular & cover those topics:

•ESOTERICA

• Mr. Mythos

• Mythology & Fiction Explained (subscribed/watched)

• Mythology- Folklore A-Z

• Overly Sarcastic Productions (subscribed/watched)

• See U in History / Mythology (subscribed/watched)

• Storied (subscribed/watched)

• The Legends of History

Hope this helps!

#asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #swd obey me! #shall we date obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #om solomon #obey me! solomon #om! solomon #swd solomon #shall we date solomon #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #om asmo #om asmodeus #obey me! asmo #obey me! asmodeus #om! asmo #om! asmodeus #swd asmo #swd asmodeus #shall we date asmo #shall we date asmodeus

[sing-you-fools]

you mentioned your character sheet having the fields "what kind of story do they think they're in" and "what role do they think they're playing in it"

i think this is awesome!

what else is on your character sheet?

oh my gosh. i was in the middle of answering this when i went to check something and clicked a link without realizing it was a tumblr link. it's gone. and. well. i'm sure you were not expecting as MUCH answer as i was putting there, anyway, so maybe it's for the best.

my character and worldbuilding sheets have an unhinged level of detail, because i use them not as a "fill this whole thing out before you get started" tool but as an "organize the information you include and thoughts you have so you can reference them later" tool, because (1) audhd and (2) i'm hoping the book i'm working on is the first in a huge expansive world that i'll still be playing in when i'm 70.

the character sheet is broken down into Basics, Role in the Story, Appearance, Communication, Backstory, Family,* Relationships, Personality and Psychology, Just for Fun, and Other (which is just a spot for if i need it, it doesn’t have any questions or prompts). and each of those has a ton of questions (except Other, as established in the previous parenthetical aside).

it's hard to say what i have in there that's the most important, or my favorite, or whatever, because it all depends very much on the character's answer. for example, most of my characters don't think they're in a story at all, they would say "this is my real life what are you talking about i'm not playing a role i'm trying to get to tomorrow," which means the questions you mentioned aren't all that fun for them, but they become very fun for a couple i'm writing, because Nat thinks he's living his best gay musical romcom life and Zari is convinced down to his bones that he's a lead in a deeply tragic romance - in reality, they're more like Merry and Pippin, and if they'd stop for a brief reality check maybe they'd reconsider picking up the Palantir.

these questions fall under "Role in the Story," which also contains fun gems like: personal goal, interpersonal goal, and team goals, because i get annoyed at character sheets that act like people just have one goal. and the full list of D&D skills and sets, even though i've never played D&D, because they seem useful. it also has "how much do they know about what's happening?" and "are they having a good time?" as some more example questions.

i have a lot in the sheet that would probably seem repetitive, but having similar questions in different categories means i think about them differently. i have "health" under Basics, for example, and that means if someone's using a cane it'll probably get mentioned there. but i also have "medical devices and mobility aids" under Appearance, because it tells me one thing that House has a bad leg because of muscle death and uses a cane, and another thing that the cane has flames up it and a skull handle and he uses it wrong. (if i'm misremembering House's cane please don't come for me it's been over a decade since i saw an episode of that show he's just still the most recognizable character i could think of with a mobility aid which is kind of sad)

possibly my favorite part of my character builder is this:

a cartoon by Tom Gauld (@myjetpack). it's right in the middle of my "personality and psychology" section. it's important for me to define what my characters do and don't know about because otherwise i end up with them knowing everything, and that's so boring. this comic just perfectly broke it down for my brain, so i plopped it in.

and a lot of my favorite questions focus on the contradictions and tensions and perception gaps inherent in being a person. what do they hate about the people they love, or love about the people they hate? what do they bring to their relationships, and what do they think they bring? what do strangers/authority figures/children/etc think of them, and what do they think people think of them? what's their biggest flaw and what do they think is their biggest flaw?

i could honestly go on forever about these; in fact i think this is still shorter than my answer that got deleted. so i'm going to cut myself off, but i'm happy to share more about them, and someday i may even post them for anyone else who might want them. i want to use them a bit first, though, to see what can be fine-tuned. in addition to character sheets, i've got sheets for Setting, Species, Religion, Nation, Magic System, Subculture (any group smaller than religion/nation/species that might have its own culture), and Scene (less worldbuilding, more to keep the details and goal of a scene straight in my own head, but still). these are all significantly less detailed than the Character one, but significantly more detailed than any one site i could find included when i was searching. and all my sheets, questions and prompts are gathered and compiled from all over the internet; i would not be able to provide sources because i did not bother to record them.

#*for the purposes of the sheet i define family as “the people you came from” #but that is not how i define it and is in direct opposition to many of my themes #sometimes we use language imperfectly because if we're obsessing over it at the building your character sketch stage #we'll NEVER get ANYTHING done #long post #character building #character design #character writing #worldbuilding #my writing #syf answers #sing-you-fools #id in alt text

[marksman-ofthe-mist]

something of an (player-)oc master-post?

info on them beneath the cut cos I HAVE THE CHANCE!!!!! hear about my BLORBOS, BOY.

CASSIUS TUREVER-

listen to cassius by foals lol. lol . lol :-) lol. no relation

Jazz agent :-)

OBIE OBIEEEE OBIE my friend OBIE 's his companion ...

left-handed in more ways than one

he was originally just some guitarist guy until i decided i was gonna just like MAKE HIM in LOATHING. which was the best thing I could've done. it was either CASSIUS in MY LOATHING GAMES or err (checks notes) milo.....murphy.......... because i couldn't think of a better name. not related to the show i swear. it just came to me

he's british . dearly sorry or whatever i dont know . low-class, came to america 'for jobs' at age like 19. in 1922

HE'S NOT ACTUALLY SHADOW TAINTED (or at least in any substantial amount) WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID THE SHADOW STUFF IN HIS HAIR ACTUALLY CAME BEFORE I EVEN KNEW ABOUT SHADOW TAINT???? your honour i thought it would be cool . and it is . lol

fun fact about the stuff in his hair that was actually supposed to have been caused by terrence's accounting but now I have no idea. literally your honour it looks cool

ALFIE ACHIVUNTER-

Cheese wizard!

Barker (pre-taint)

Alphonse-gator (mid/post-taint)

average muscle, high mysticality, and like a 1 in moxie at all times ever

his last name is a portmanteau of achievement and hunter but i keep misspelling it as archivunter . maybe it could instead be archive and hunter but that doesn't make sense? anyway

hey alfie gullible's written on the ceili- hey yeah it does aw now i'm mad (in the shadow-tainted way . he's supposed to be my shadow-tainted guy except He Is Not Evil . He is just full of Madness . Knowledge of the unknowable or whatever you know? yeah)

he's worry. just look at him

CHARLIE HOLLOWAY-

fraternal twin

former bean-slinger, switched with Sylvester and became a snake-oiler

honourable :-)!

absolutely TERRIFIED of dying . more specifically of old age . that's why he found this clock of never-aging-ever*. it's pretty cool . does not look a day over 25 (or so)

more on this. if he played the sims i think he would pass out at the sight of the grim reaper (HALF SILLY?)

*ACTUALLY FUN FACT. it's more like never-changing-ever in the sense of he never gets sleepy nor hungry nor anything of that sort anymore. lol . if he got a cut he wouldn't bleed either

THOUGH despite all of that he'd quite literally turn to dust à la Maxwell Don't Starve if the clock got taken away somehow......

SYLVESTER HOLLOWAY-

guess . is this man a twin ? i have no idea . absolutely no idea (FRATERNAL TWIN)

former snake-oiler, switched with Charlie and became a bean-slinger

Pardner is Doc Alice . half the reason why he swapped classes w Charlie probably

neither honourable nor ruthless . lol

TBH HE'S THE LESS COOL BROTHER IN SO MANY WAYS I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY ON HIM. he's like. the shy one the one who never smiles ever the cautious one . but he IS there I GUESS

Mon Frère is a funny little mix of Sylvester and Charlie . I'm mentioning this cos I feel sooooo smart for it . instead of forgetting one and misremembering the other Rufus misremembered them BOTH and MUSHED THEM TOGETHER I GUESS. though that's specific to myyyyyyyy little loathing thingy . yeah

........SORRY IF THIS IS UTTERLY UNREADABLE? BY THE BY?

#so sorry for like . idk . image spam I DIDN'T REALISE #THERE'D BE #THREE (BIG) PICTURES??? #uuu it'd be 5 but i'm not including cockerel in here since his ref isn't formatted the same #nor am i including wattson in this HE SHOULD BE HERE BY ALL MEANS #BUT... BUT HE'S..... ERRR HE'S TOO OUT OF THE WAY? #same w cockerel just a wee #wattson's not a player character . cockerel is . but . not for SoL #maybe wattson will get his own post. for funsies #ocs #charlie mode #sylvester mode #cassius mode #alfie mode #shadows over loathing #loathing games

[centralkvetchmonolith]

Further updates on today's occurrences:

I did NOT get my knives sharpened because* I'm a lazy dipshit who can't remember what times of day people function at, yippee!**

*I don't actually feel the following about myself; I'm just venting for funsies

**I'm cool I just have at least one sleep disorder and misremembered "1pm close" as "4pm close" for some reason, which is a normal mistake to make if you're unfamiliar with farmer's markets

Oh well! There is always next week. I DID go to the Jewish event, with @creatureaccess bc I haven't gotten to do much Jewy socializing with them, and we hung out with my friend Khesed and got some nice prints and earrings!!!

In addition to the planned socialization, I ran into 4 sets of people I wasn't expecting:

Kendrick and their roommate Dawn — they Recognized Me from services a couple years ago, but we didn't quite remember each other. I mention these folks mostly so that I remember their names, as I will probably see them in the future and it takes me several meetings to remember faces and names together w/o hints.

MJ! The (lay) cantor who is considering Hebrew College! She was like "oh jeez people keep saying that and I feel like everyone will be so disappointed if I decide not to go" which! oh no! I only mentioned it bc I just broke up w a Hebrew College student who mentioned seeing her at prospy week (which is not what they call it)! I think she feels bad about being put on a pedestal, bc she also remarked that introducing her to Mercury as "the most familiar voice at Shir Tikvah" was nice bc I wasn't doing the usual thing (of intentionally or unintentionally overpraising her, which I'm sure feels like "you're so BRAVE for Singing While Trans" in addition to the regular ol' anxiogenesis of high expectations & benevolent otherization). Anyway she was happy to see me again even though she almost certainly couldn't remember my name, and I was happy to see her cuz she wasn't at the one kabbalat shabbat I've gone to so far and that was one of the several reasons I didn't quite feel Home yet at Shir Tikvah.

Quotes-and-flowers prints lady, Della, complimented me on my constellation umbrella and we commiserated about Hebrew cursive being cool but not a thing people in our circles (myself included) can read. THEN HER MOM POPPED UP, AND IS ONE OF MY TORAH CANTILLATION CLASSMATES??!?!? So Moon is the first person from the 2024 adult b'mitzvah cohort that I got the pleasure of meeting in person :^>. She's a lesbian who bonded w other lesbian parents in 1995 — I asked her if she knew [Jaz's parents], and she didn't which idk is actually cooler cuz that means there were enough partnered lesbians making children in the mid-90s that they DIDN'T all know each other!?! Anyway, Moon is cool, and I'm glad I am soooo so brave to Talk While Trans have a distinctive voice so that she recognized me ^_^.

While talking to Candida, the vendor with the super cool lemon earrings that I got Mercury for their birthday, I DID make direct eye contact with a person who used to call me their wife ("Ohhhhh and I just saw my ex" "Haha isn't that just the experience at queer markets like this"). Mercury and I sidled over, talking abt their mom while waiting for an opening where I could talk to Tova (they are very popular, even as queer Jewish non-profit workers go), and Mercury squeezed my hand and made clear through, like, bestie telekinesis and a couple words that they were there for me. I was a bit awkward on the intro bc I broke up w Tova pretty suddenly in uhhhhh I wanna say Nov 2020? and they ghosted last time I tried to catch up in early 2022, so I was like "hi!!(?) are we on the sort of terms where it's okay if I talk to you?" and they were very like "(why wouldn't it be????) Yeah!! Hello!!" and we chatted for a bit and I DID ask if they had moved which they HAVEN'T so I can STOP forlornly looking at their living room window every time I go grocery shopping and just be chill neighbors who used to try to build a life together. Their Nana said "She's special to you. Hold on to her, even though you're not together anymore." I was there when their sister got married. Their brother-in-law painted me in fake blood while he was shirtless. Their parents welcomed me into the family. I spooned with them under the big flaming tree of their family's cult. We played tabletop roleplaying games together. and figure out how much we want to be in each other's lives.

Anyway yeah so I am reminded yet again that people love me and even people who have a reason to be Rude are probably instead going to be Cordial, which I think is generalizable to people who are not me as well (you, reader). Also Jaz came up in sets 2, 3, AND 4 above, so it's pretty clear that [insert transparently obvious takeaway that nevertheless evades me at the moment].

Being in community is Good, Actually.

#personal #banana go home #kosher queers dot gay #manic pixie dream babe

[goodusernamesarereallyhardtofind]

An Idea for a Crossover

As the title of this post says, I had an idea for a crossover, that is somewhat fleshed out, but still not at the point where I believe in my ability to turn it into a full story.

So, to get to the point: Library of Ruina x Our Life: Beginnings and Always. Specifically based on a conversation the PoV character (default name: Jamie Last) can have with the other Main Character, Cove Holden, in the Step 3 DLC (Unless I'm misremembering which Step the Moment "Happiness" takes place in, that is. I'm fairly sure I remembered it correctly, though.)

Either way, Cove and whatever you choose to call the PoV character of Beginnings and Always end up in The City, where the titular Library from Library of Ruina is nominally located. For Cove's personality, I am asserting the assumption that he is "Warm" (if this says nothing to you, you might have to ask someone who actually placed Our Life: Beginnings and Always, or play the game yourself. Actually, if you haven't played it, you absolutely should, it's good, and aside from a few moments, it's entirely free.), but it doesn't actually matter that much what direction his hobbies go in. I personally prefer to have Cove and Jamie (or whatever name I end up choosing) in love with one another, and thus, shall consider them married for the rest of this outline. Feel free to disregard that, if you write something with this, just replace mentions of their wedding rings with some other important keepsake. If you want to insert them together, rather than separately, the rest of this probably won't interest you that much? But if you feel like ideas based on them entering The City separately might be interesting, who am I to stop you?

Anyways, Cove and Jamie (which is the name that I am using for the purpose of this outline thing, feel free to use any other name) separately enter The City somehow. Either they end up dropped in somewhere (I do not recommend leaving them entirely without knowledge of the basics of the setting, so... I wouldn't do this unless you drop them on two separate Fixer offices run by decent human beings, which are few, and far inbetween in The City), or reincarnated, or something like that. Either way, they somehow get enough knowledge of the setting to be able to navigate the City somewhat. This knowledge would probably lead them to end up becoming Fixers, likely of an Office associated to Zwei (Focused on protecting), or Seven (Focused on Information Gathering). An Office not particularly connected to either of these Associations is possible, but I feel it is unlikely.

Either way, they end up trying to find each other. Depending on their relative locations in The City, this either doesn't immediatly succeed due to bad luck (if they ended up in close areas), or distance (if they ended up far away from each other (seriously, the City is a big place)).

At some point, an invitation is sent to one of their offices (let's pretend it's a choice for whoever is playing this as a LoR mod, or something), and whoever it goes to ends up part of the group heading into the Library. And promptly Distorting, as losing another member of the group reminds them that they were torn away from one another, and everyone they knew and liked back in their old world. For Jamie, the distorted form would, in my mind, be a clay figure, with a compass where the heart would be on a biological humanoid, and armed with a weapon that looks like part of a compass. Both the body, and the weapon have some patterns from their wedding rings. I'll tentatively call that Distortion "A Lost Stranger". For Cove, I came up with a few separate design ideas (but no names until I started writing this post), one of which is basically him, but made of beach materials (plus water defying the laws of physics) like sand, driftwood, seashells, seaweed, and stuff like that, and another that is an ice golem, or something. I guess I'll call the former "Distant Shore", and the latter "Winter Heart".

Disregarding that for a moment, their actual Distortion presumably only happens *after* they leave the Library as a tactical retreat, because not everyone fights to the last. Either way, the Distorted individual ends up separated from the remainder of their group (maybe some kind of "you don't seem to be feeling well, take some time off, I'll cover for you" from another member of their group?).

After actually distorting, things conspire to have whichever part of the couple is NOT distorted end up meeting the distortion. In the meantime, the distorted one just... somewhat passively wanders the area, applying self-defense when attacked, but mostly just walking/shambling around aimlessly, possibly reacting to people they know, but not quite enough to un-Distort. Presumably, they would both have told their new friends about the one they are looking for, which, if they ended up in very different areas ot the City, would take some time to reach everyone who woul be willing to help out with something like that, but accelerated when the "the Distorted individual seems to have some kind of benign reaction to people they know" spreads around Offices.

When the Distorted member of the couple, and the undistorted one meet, I assure everyone that a suitably emotional conversation in the style of Our Life will occur, unless whoever actually tries to write this out can't do that justice, in which case it's probably best left to the imagination. Either way, whoever ended up Distorting between the two ends up shifted to the beginnings of their Personal EGO manifesting - either that, or just straight (hehe) to their EGO, rather than some intermediary stage.

After that, they spend some time reconnecting, which may result in their Offices being connected independently of them. At some point not too long after that, they go to the Library together, to rescue? whoever they ended up losing there. Whether or not they are aware of the fact that it's a rescue, rather than some weird corpse retrieval, or anything like that? Questionable. Some subconscious awareness seems likely enough, but conscious awareness of the fact is highly improbably.

Either way, once they go to the Library, just the two of them, they fight a floor with comparatively little power first, before going to the Floor of Language, and getting locked into a stalemate with Geburah... briefly. When whichever one of them doesn't have manifested EGO gets injured, the other tells them to retreat, and (in hindsight obviously) lies about being able to finish this alone.

An internal monologue outside of the fighting area leads the one who didn't have their EGO manifested to at least manifest the beginnings of their EGO, and rush back in, just in time to prevent a fatal blow from connecting.

This is probably an appropriate point to talk about my thoughts for their EGO. Cove manifests something water-based or related, obviously. My first thought, based entirely on Our Life, was "Brine of Tomorrow", a water-themed outfit, with some accessories themed after his wedding ring and/or some other keepsake, and including a white linen poppy near the heart. This EGO would have him fight exclusively by throwing around pressurized seawater. My second idea, the one I feel is only appropriate for if he ended up being Distorted, is "Brine Thaw". A similar outfit, but significantly more of an ice theme, and including whichever weapon you believe he'd use if he had to fight for his life and the like, made partially of ice, partially of seawater, and capable of being extended due to that. Still includes significant options for elemental attacks, now also including the ability to make wounds to put salty water into far more easily. For Jamie, I've only really considered one idea for his EGO, and that is "Promised Unity". Either armor, or some kind of clothing patterned after his wedding ring and/or other keepsakes connecting him with Cove, with significant emphasis on anklets and bracelets/bracers that are effectively enlarged versions of said wedding ring. Abilities of this EGO are the production of Energy Constructs, and what I shall (begin sarcasm) creatively (end sarcasm) call "Mana Burst (Emotion)". Using his emotions, Jamie can overcharge a construct, or himself, for a significant increase to capability, for a short-ish time.

Anyways, once both of them have their EGO, they are both absolutely capable of putting the hurt on Geburah, especially because Jamie would absolutely be able to SPAM overcharged constructs in that kind of situation, and that'd be a wonderful pain to fight against.

Thus, they win the "trial" of the Library. And because they are technically not actually there for a Book, Angela may or may not discover the possibility of releasing someone from their book early, if she didn't always know she could do that.

And that's as far as my idea for this goes. I mean, sure, there's possibilities of a sequel where they end up involved with Limbus Company, or resulting divergences, but these two are no longer directly involved with the Library after this - because they absolutely refuse to go there again, and they might literally just go and live in the Outskirts, or something, if someone tries to force the issue -*cough* the Head *cough*.

#fanfic ideas #our life: beginnings & always #library of ruina #crossover #incomplete outline #our life #my posts

[leaf-storm-lurking]

FEH OCs Part 2 out of ???

Disclaimer: I am going off of my memory, so I will probably miss or misremember several things. This time we're going through the characters introduced in Book 2 (and a little more).

Fjorm: I think she's alright, she apparently has a burning hatred for Sutr, but I never got that vibe from her. Also, it took like 3 years for Nifl to claim her life as she did the rite of ice. Which is weird, but at least it got addressed.

Gunnthra: Fjorm's big sis and she's dead. I think a lot of people forget that part, just like I forgot a lot of her character. Girl deserves to be in some forging bonds, she hasn't been in one since the event dedicated to the Nifl Royal family.

Hrid: Same as Gunnthra, except he's not dead and is ruling Nifl. I feel he could use some more alts or forging bonds events. Also, he tried 1v1 Sutr, but it didn't work out. A for effort though.

Ylgr: I like the kid, she's thrilled to be a hero and go on adventures with her siblings. I also like her relationship with Helbindi, it's the typical tough guy and wide-eyed kid, but it's cute. Also, her weapon is called Sylgr and I find that amusing.

Laegjarn: Caught my attention with her relationship with Laevatain. Gotta enjoy sisterly bonds and all that stuff. Although, I don't understand why she and Fjorm are friends. They barely knew each other and were on opposite sides, then she died and was forced to fight for Muspell. Not a lot of opportunities for meaningful conversation unless it's off-screen.

Laevatain: Imagine being named after the sword you wield, Sutr is a shitty parent, but that's not news. She's reliant on Laegjarn for strategy and planning, but her sister is dead and she is in charge of Muspell. I worry for her.

Helbindi: I feel bad for the dude, he lost his village and sister, and then dies protecting Veronica and Ylgr. One of his castle lines mentions that he doesn't feel he belongs here. Anyways, Duo hero with either Ylgr or Mustafa for him.

Sutr: Generic evil fire guy, and that's fine. He has a kickass design and that one speech where he talks about burning people alive. Kinda disappointed he's not in Book 3 considering there was a xenologue where we got to see Sutr in Hel.

Loki: How are you not a Legendary/Mythic Hero? YOUR SISTER IS ONE. Not crazy about her design though. Also, I'm expecting her to kill the Summoner (Norse mythology is the basis for that claim). Nifl: I don't like her design, it doesn't feel wintery enough to me. Although, I would like to know more about her first love and see her pre-muspellruinedmylife.

Muspell: Not crazy about his design either, his Flame Tribe alt is great though. He doesn't feel as intimidating as Sutr, which is a bit sad. I would like to see him and Nifl singing Snow Miser vs Heat Miser.

#fire emblem heroes #fe fjorm #gunnthra #fe hrid #ylgr #laegjarn #laevateinn #fire emblem helbindi #fire emblem sutr #fire emblem loki #nifl #muspell #feh

[bookwyrminspiration]

I think I’m the only one who remembers Damel. Like I don’t think anyone has ever uttered a single word about him. but he’s the washer who washes Sophie’s human parents memories and he was like rlly nice and cool. And he is also mentioned in Flashback when they say he searches Alvars memories and concludes that he’s never seen somone do such a thorough wipe of memories. Anyways I’m only saying this cause I want somone Else to actually remember him :D

Damel Kafuta, I remember him! (though I did misremember his last name as Kafeta, so I'm sorry Damel)

I suppose we just haven't had sufficient reason to remember or talk about him, given the brevity of his page time. Though perhaps we should be talking about him more given how young he is. He began washing when he was a level 4. That's how old the kotlcrew is now, which raises several questions for me.

1) Why such a young age? Does he have an unusual prowess that prompted his becoming a washer? I find that difficult to conceptualize, given that Fitz was the youngest telepath to manifest at 13, and level four is ages 14-15, and I believe the manifesting cut off window is around fifteen. That would probably give him around 1.5 years of practice before washing at most, which still doesn't feel adequate, but perhaps it's not as difficult as it sounds.

2) What does he typically erase? The wiki says he was one of the washers who worked on Sophie's parents when she first moved to the Lost Cities, and that was a highly sensitive case (at the time), so clearly there is some trust in him. And he would've been about a level 6 at that time, so how did he earn that?

That being said, what is a normal erased memory? We've seen a lot of erased memories at this point in the series, but we've also been in a very unusual situation. Damel became a washer before that started to impact his life and he had to erase torture memories. So is he truly properly equipped for that? That doesn't seem at all like what his usual roster would be, so what is normal for him?

I suppose given my interest in worldbuilding, it's only natural I have several questions about the logistics of becoming and being a washer. But yes, shout out to Damel for doing some unpleasant things and being so pleasant; this nonsie and I remember you :)

#kotlc #damel kafuta #quil's queries #nonsie #i was under the impression being a washer was more of a highly trained skill #but I suppose sophie has done plenty of things with very little training. like healings #and while she's on a different level due to the genetic enhancements #the same principle can still apply to others #i'm just curious and pondering now #long post

[slowdripsunrise]

BOOK REVIEW AGAINNNNNNN yippee i have actually been reading... not a lot but well i am ! kinda forgot about this blog ok thats not true i was just lazy and didnt want to write a post. well anyways heres a big post for all the stories i read there are 4 - things have gotten worse since we last spoke by eric larocca, paradise rot by jenny hval, soft science by franny choi, and the country will bring us no peace by matthieu simard ! spoilers under the cut

ok first i read things have gotten worse since we last spoke because i wanted to go on a little kick of reading weird crazy people books at 3 am. and i did! chose this one because i saw it was very short so. anyways i thought this was.... okay. i think what made it a little worse off for me is that i already knew about the whole parasite thing from tiktok, so it wasnt that crazy to me when it actually happened. gonna be honest i do Not remember how the book ends at all so i dont even know if it was satisfying or not. was my experience worsened by it being 3am and me not having any thoughts at all? probably. would i do it again? yeah. i was a lil bit disappointed in the apple peeler part too... i thought it was going to be more relevant than it was unless there are some hidden symbolism meanings motifs going on that i didnt get... actually now that im thinking about it big long unbroken peels of apple + a big long probably worm-like parasite? next to each other thats kinda cool. other than that thought i literally just had now typing this out i didnt see anything else. omg speaking of seeing the tagline and also its mentioned in the book, "what did you do today to deserve your eyes?" crazy ass fuck sentence. i kinda love it actually and this is maybe where i would have like to see the apple peeler come in. she takes the apple peeler to her face and peels her eyes out of her head idk. also i feel like either on tiktok/goodreads they were supposed to be ballerinas? but that wasnt mentioned at ALL? i might be misremembering but that also could have been a cool little anecdote. anyways all this to say i thought the book was alright. i was entertained for like 2 hours. my favorite part of this experience was going on goodreads after and seeing a one star review of the book that just said "men stop writing trauma porn about lesbians." which is SO FUCKING FUNNY. because 1 im pretty sure the author is nonbinary, so hes not a man. 2. WHO IS GETTING OFF TO THIS. sorry i do absolutely not see any fetishization here, and also i think they write stories like this in like collections,, so there are probably people other than lesbians in them. idk i just thought that was funny. jesus christ this is getting long and i'm only 1/4 done. i pity anyone who opens this.

next i read paradise rot by jenny hval, which i had heard was dubbed the "bisexual piss book" intriguing and also a short little story i read at 3am. i did like this one, i thought it was fun and interesting and im a big fan of rot. just in general. vibes were on point. this book was moist. however, not as much piss as i expected. as in like quantities on page. they did talk about piss a lot and by they i mean the narrator. not as horror-esque as i thought it would be but i did like it! ohhh to simply rot away...... would not recommend this to normal people and i like that about it.

soft science by franny choi !!!! really liked this! im going to be honest i do not remember more than one poem from this collection. but i do remember liking them !!! sorry i think i need to train my brain to like and remember poetry more. and not just like the ones from tumblr webweaves even though all of them slay.

finally i read the country will bring us no peace by matthieu simard. i liked this, thought it was super interesting,,, ok i didnt think it was super interesting i thought it was good. god i am trying to program myself out of academic reviews of stupid dumbass books i was forced to read. this isn't like that at all. anyways i thought the whole grief aspect was done very well, the sadness at knowing literally nothing will work or come together to make your life go back to the way it was, go back to being whole again. and that deep deep sadness of not only losing their daughter but also the life they had before, the life they had with each other,,, losing all hope. it definitely got to me i did almost cry i think. i think i have more to say about this but i don't remember it. oh well. i thought the vibes of a hostile small mountain town were cool ! i think one of my favorite scenes was when the lavoie's kid falls from the antenna and they are just standing there doing nothing and simon has to go save him... idk the fact that they were shown as perfect parents for their perfect children and how not great they actually were <- this thought is dumb and obvious you get what im saying. one of my main issues is that the ending did feel rushed... and i was a bit confused,,,, the last line "a bird starts to sing" i couldn't tell if that was meant to be marie and simon hearing birds in the afterlife, in the woods by the bowling alley? or was that just the birds in the town finally starting to sing? because if its the latter i don't really get how simon and marie dying would bring the birds back.. the town is still dying and tragedies will still happen... idk its probably the birds in the afterlife but oh well. ok final thought i think but i think the title in french is interesting. it's called "ici, ailleurs" which means "here, elsewhere" or more like "here, something better. here, a new beginning." i like that, obviously it's what the book is about, and idk i think the translator did a good job at conveying the message. i think i would read this book again but in french, mostly to practice because my french is shit but i think since it only really stays in one setting, there's not a lot of characters, concepts are pretty easy to understand, i think it would be fun !!!! ok im done those are my reviews of all the books ive read in the past week or so thanks to anyone who reads this whole thing you are crazy. peace and love

#thoughts.txt #book review #things have gotten worse since we last spoke #paradise rot #soft science #the country will bring us no peace

[versadies]

i found your fic "evermore" by chance, and golly, i hope you don't mind me spilling everything about it.

now to clarify...i am someone who's distant with genshin impact (as in, ive put a ton of hours into it, played it an launch even!) but due to the overwhelming fandom and hoyo being....like that, I haven't been able to get into it with good feelings. its still a fun game, despite it all.

so when I got into your fic, I had....how do you say.... less attachment to the characters. I didn't think much of ayato, since his banner started when I quit playing. but I was intrigued with the plot! I'm super familiar with angst! I thought to myself, this will be a fun read.

and....quite frankly...your fic made really invested in these characters. I could feel the reader's pain reminiscing their time with ayato, the small dips and feels with diluc, how thoma has been pining for them this whole time- a very fresh, very interesting perspective to these characters, in a scenario that you couldn't see ingame.

while i expected the "im in a arranged marriage" plot with ayato, I certainty didnt see the twist with diluc! I can see why you said he wasn't leading on, and the revelation makes a bit more sense with ayato's comment of "the wind is going strong" because not only there were rumors, but the fact that those rumors could've reached jean before she could arrive. it would've been messy if she knew, right?

although...on that note, I might be misremembering on my part, but everyone else seems to be...pushing? or rather, interested with how diluc and the reader's relationship. rather than feeling he was leading us on, it was rather you who "lead us on" (im putting this in quotation marks bc i dont like the connotation of the word) which is why I can understand people feeling disappointed because it wasn't clear, even if there was shifts into diluc's pov- why hasn't there been an instance of him thinking about her? i think something like that would better ease in the readers about the ship, but also, since you never mentioned diluc's plus one, i assume this was the road you wanted to take- which isn't bad at all! i respect your decision, and im amazed you went through with it, even if it can cause backlash. many respects for you, even moreso you were willing to write an alternative version.

anyways, all in all, amazing fic. I cant wait to see what's next on the board. maybe more angst? haha!

hii !! this is such a late response so you probably thought i ignored this ask, but im not one to ignore ppl’s thoughts on my fics sooo here’s my response :DDD !!

im glad evermore managed to bring you attachment to the characters and how you enjoyed the things evermore has <333 there was acc a few more “hints” (i wouldnt consider these hints seeing how it doesnt hint the fact that diluc is engaged, but rather there’s something secretive about him) i put in some chapters — as for the shifts where the pov is on diluc, ig thats for you to find out in chapter 14 🤫🤫🤫

but overall, it was my bad that i lead you guys on in hopes in hiding the secret plot twist 😣😣 i didnt consider the fact that doing so would lead ppl to be very disappointed so i apologize for that 🙏🙏 thanks for respecting my decision and for staying until this series ends, i hope youll enjoy what’s to come for the future chapters <333

#— ( penpal anon 📣 ) #— ( about . evermore )

[charmspoint]

I was trying to check something about Zan (specifically how he got his cat because my memory sucks) and noticed you mentioned a Cain and Emory. More ocs? More fun ocs to hear about?

(Also omg the banner did change I spent 10 minutes trying to see if I misremembered how it looked or if it did change, looks great!)

-oc anon, who finally got some free time

Hi oc anon!! Lemme segment this

1. Zan picked up Shikei off the road after he was hit by a car. He was in a pretty bad state and already old as death but Zan is a goddamn softie and couldn't leave him there to die when he was obviously still alive so he brought him home. Honestly he thought the cat would die overnight but Shikei has a constitution of a cockroach and now Zan has the cuddliest version of satan following him around.

2. And yeah! Cain and Emory are two ocs I'm rounding off the cast with, I've been developing Cain lately (by which I mean coming into Frappe's dms to blab at one am while she's trying to sleep) and Emory's been pickling cuz she's an oc i made in high school so she's in line for a lot of revamping.

Here are some basics, as basic as my ranty self can get!

Cain - ex cultist, current egoist and megaloman, he believes he's destined for something great and probably evil but the good news is he has no idea how to get there and he mostly just sounds like someone who's recovering from staning the dark broody edge blorbo from his shows. His power is cloning and there's A LOT to say about his clones (I subjected frappe to like a seminar) but the important thing is that he can only make 7 clones and it's always the same 7 that are completely aware they are clones and perfectly remember what happened each time they were summoned, so along the time each of them developed their own personalities and relationships and cliques with each other and Cain. Because Cain was raised in a cult he's been lead to believe that these clones represent seven deadly sins. This is not truth they are just normal clones with memory retention but they've all been raised to believe it so they act accordingly. As a group they are all named Abel but usually use their ascribed sins as their name instead. By level of favor from Cain we got: Pride, Greed, Lust, Wrath, Envy, Gluttony and Sloth. At this point in the story they are more or less acting as a hive around the queen bee. They will make their decisions based on what will make sure Cain stays alive and will work against Cain if they think he's endangering himself. They have cliques and truces and pacts between each other and Cain is excluded from decision making like...a surprising amount of time while still keeping the illusion that he's in fact in charge.

Emory - still under construction, Frappe if ur reading this and see things I haven't told you, I wanted to but i always remember it at like midnight and im trying not to bother u when u go to sleep hvhg >.<. Emory's power is shapeshifting with the twist that as she shapeshifts she's also able to copy the persons memories up until the moment she shapeshifted into them. Her father was a burglar and a serial killer who's main shtick was to kidnap someone from the house he wanted to rob, kill them, have Emory transform into, sending her back in their place before anyone notices, do the job with inside help. He may have an inferior version of shapeshifting himself but I hadn't decided on the details yet. Anyway he got arrested via her help and now she's running around being a conman and a petty thief. That's all I got for her rn since I'm still mostly dealing with Cain, but her time to get fleshed out will come soon :3

3. @evaizelsilence ppl are loving the banner! Lmao yeah as soon as Frappe made it she was like 'ill have to do a better background later' n i was like 'u rly dont have to' n she was like 'No I Must' jhbjhbjh i love frappe

#oc anon #oc talk #anon #answered #zan #cain #emory cohen #I hope that was interesting! #im p satisfied with these four #im developing their backstories and goals #and then #i guess we'll see can i make a story out of it huh

[midnight-in-town]

Hello! I came across your RCMT and I loved it to say the least! Watching their interactions as children tipped me off the wrong way and I couldn't quite place why but I think you hit the nail on the head.

So its about 5 am for me now so I might be going delirious but I was wondering (going by your theory) if r!Ciels participation in the massacre at the Phantomhive manor ( him assisting the intruder if not planning the attack himself) ended up being a bigger reason for his "defiled soul' to be powerful enough for a (as far as we know) powerful demon to be summoned, rather than the horrid things the cult did to him being responsible. ( I adore the thought of Sebastian being a lowlife in the demon world idk why I just want this man to be bullied somehow but thats a whole other thing. )

PS: Also that might be me misremembering the manga but I'm sure no powerful demon would have appeared if the soul wasn't "bad" enough for them , I mean from what we know Sebastian is " spicing up " O!Ciels soul with evil deeds so it'll be tastier later on. So going from that what better soul to consume than the one who has wished and assisted on the death of their father? (And most of their household.)

Again that might just be me and my deep hatred towards the use of sexual violence in horror (and in fiction in general)but I hated the idea that victims of //r*p*// are being seen as defiled, or corrupted. So I rather like the idea of r!ciel being just enough of a corrupt person by himself.

Hello! Wowww, long ask, I didn’t even it was possible to do that now!! 

Anyway, first of all, thank you very much for reading! :3 I know the RCMT is not everyone’s favorite theory (and its name is misleading), but I do enjoy it on several levels. I’m glad it made some sense to you, Anon. :))

Other fans either prefer the theory that real!Ciel never had anything to do with the massacre 4 years ago, or the twist that our!Ciel’s “asthma” was actually caused by real!Ciel [x] (as in some sort of Munchausen syndrome by proxy, if you want). To each their own, Yana will eventually tell us the truth.

Moving onto your idea:

“I was wondering if r!Ciels participation in the massacre at the Phantomhive manor ( him assisting the intruder if not planning the attack himself) ended up being a bigger reason for his "defiled soul' to be powerful enough for a powerful demon to be summoned, rather than the horrid things the cult did to him being responsible”

Hmm, I had never thought about that and I really enjoy the idea. :)

For now, we unfortunately don’t have enough knowledge about demonology in Kuroverse to be able to answer that question. At the same time, that also means that you’re free to imagine whatever you want, until Sensei possibly answers this point one day. :)

The thing is, we don’t even know if Seb ate real!Ciel’s soul to cross over (it’s really unclear), even less about if it’s possible for Seb to be aware of how real!Ciel’s soul got “corrupted” (be it because of the cult, or the possibility of the RCMT). As far as I can remember, he never made any allusion as to real!Ciel’s soul besides the fact that it was how he got to cross over and answer our!Ciel’s call. 

Whereas Ciel’s soul is bound by contract to be Seb’s dinner, so maybe it’s different, as in, Seb (who’s going to eat this soul) enjoys the events “spicing up” Ciel’s soul, because he knows by experience that it’s going to be extra tasty that way:

It’s really hard to say but, without any hint either way, we can imagine pretty much whatever we want. :)

I rather like the idea of r!ciel being just enough of a corrupt person by himself.

Actually, I do as well, but for different reasons than what you mentioned about the cult. 

After all, we know that the Phantomhive family is said to be cursed: 

Of course, it has many possible meanings (for example [x][x]), but it’s also interesting that the Undertaker (phantomhive fan #1) has described our!Ciel as being “different from his ancestors” (ch84), as in probably more selfless [x][x][x]:

Because in that case, it wouldn’t be surprising that real!Ciel was “corrupted” even at 10 years old. It would just be yet another curse befalling this family, amongst all the many other possible ones. 

Besides, when you see his attitude as a Bizarre Doll in the current arc, it doesn’t necessarily come from the time with the cult: I mean, sure, he immensely suffered and probably got slightly crazy because of it, but there is still the obsession with his little brother, to the point that he’d try to kill Soma and to destroy the Bitter Rabbits (proof that Ciel succeeded in becoming a toy maker). 

There has to be a background to this strange attachment from before they were abducted, as the flashback chapters before ch134 do a good job foreshadowing.

TL;DR I’m still sold on the RCMT (real!Ciel not being the big bad/target of Ciel’s revenge, but just being in/directly guilty for the events of 4 years ago).

However, would it have been enough corruption to pay for a demon crossing over (without all the horrors done by the cult)? It’s hard to say, but maybe. Desperation and giving up on God on Ciel’s part were what Seb said triggered his summoning though:

I don’t know if that answers your question, sorry if not, Anon.

Thanks again for reading and I wish you a nice weekend ahead! :3

#kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive #rcmt #sebastian michaelis #2CT #tw: rape #tw: child abuse #kuro136 #kuroshitsuji theory #anon #answers