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stfu-lyric · 3 years

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Keep dreaming Eilish.

(Billie Eilish x y/n fanfic).

𝐴/𝑛: ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟!!!!! 𝐼𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 (𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡) 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟𝑠 (𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑚𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠) 𝐼 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑈𝐾 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦!!

001.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

The sound of my annoying ass alarm woke me up. Today was the first day of senior year and I already wanted it to be over. I slowly dragged myself out of bed, picked some a black sweats and sweater. I walk to the bathroom and shuffled my playlist while brushing my teeth.

Once was done I go downstairs and meet my parents and my brother in the kitchen. “Good morning my fellow birth providers.” I say to my parents. I turn to my brother and give him a dirty look “morning mistake.” My brother throws a small piece of avocado at me and pulls a face.

“Ay both of you enough.” My mom says. I grab my backpack and slip on my white air force’s. “Bye everyone.” I say about o close the front door. “Uh no come back and get something to eat.” My mom shouts. I groan a little under my breath, walk back into the kitchen and steal a toast from my brothers plate. “HEY, that’s mine.” He called out. “It’s mine now.” I say walking out the door. I quickly throw the toast in a near by bush, get in my car and drive off.

*fast forward at school*

I walk to my locker getting the books that I need for first period when Leah my best friend comes up to me bouncing up and down. “Leah, it’s Monday 8am why are you acting like a freak?” I ask her “I’m excited.”she says still jumping around like a toddler. “Can you stop jumping and explain to me why you’re excited?” I say. “Tomorrow night the school is hosting a concert as a welcome for the new seniors.” She squeals.

“Okay what’s so exciting about that?” I raise my eyebrow. “Because billie eilish is the one performing.” She screams. “Leah you need to calm down and who the hell is billie eilish.” I ask. Leah’s expression went from happy to disappointed. “I don’t think we can be friends if you don’t know who Billie eilish is.” She said shaking her head in disappointment.

“Well I don’t spend my whole life on social media.” I argue. “Shut the fuck up, by the way you’re coming with me.” She smiles. “Uh no.” I say “hm yes.” She argues. “I’m pretty sure I’m not.” I smile. “Come onnn, it’ll be fun!!” She nags. “No Leah, you know I don’t like that shit.” I complain. “I’ll pay you $10.” She bribes me. “Make it $50.” I say with a smirk.

“$30 last offer.” She says. I roll my eyes. I can’t believe doing this. “Have you even bought tickets?” I ask. She nods her head.“Fine I’ll go.” I said slowly. She starts jumping around like a maniac. That’s when the bell went for first period.

*skip to lunch*

I get my tray of food and go find Leah. “Over hear.” I see her wave her hand. I walk up to the table and see Leah,Sean and Ryan all sat together. “Hey guys.” I greet them. They all greet me back. “So who’s excited about tomorrow night?” Ryan asks. “Me I’m so excited, but guess what she doesn’t not who billie eilish is.”Leah says pointing at me. “She is the most talented,amazing and most beautiful woman in the world how do you not know who she is?” Ryan asks confused.

“What do you expect she’s an introvert all she does is listen to music in the depths of her dark room.” Sean says. I throw a chip at him and we all start laughing. Everyone starts to eat their food when Leah looks at me “uh are going to eat that?” She asks. “Yeah of course.” I say picking up the apple and putting it close to my mouth.

*back at home*

I walk through the front door. “MOM,DAD IM HOME.” I shout to let them know I’m here. “Hey honey do you want something to eat?” My mom says. “No thanks I’m fine.” I say and run up to my room. I place my bag down, hop on my bed and shuffle my playlist. Sean wasn’t wrong when he said all I do is listen to music.

I hear my phone ring which forces me to get up agian. “Hello?” I say in a semi annoyed tone. “I’m gonna be at you’re house in like 5 minutes.” Leah says rapidly. “Wait..what?” I say trying to understand what she said but before I could get an answer the line went flat. “Hello?...hello?” I repeat myself but no luck.

‘Great’ I thought to myself.

*10 minutes later*

I was laying on my bed when my room door swung open “I’m here!!!” Leah yelled. “What do you want?” I ask sitting up. “Wow how rude, you’re best friend can’t come visit?” She acts fake offended. I took my eyes at her. “I came to help you pick an outfit for tomorrow night.” She says in excitement.

“Why can’t I just wear a tracksuit?” I ask. “Because if you look like a fool that automatically makes me a fool.” She sasses. “Gee thanks for the compliment.” I say rolling my eye. She she smiles in response.

‘This is going to be a longggg day.’ I say to myself.

*3 hours later*

We finally settled on an outfit that made me feel comfortable but u still looked cute:

That’s the fit ^^^

*skip to the night of the concert*

(Ik big time skip I’m really lazy)

It’s 5pm and the concert starts at 6:30pm. I’m currently in Leah’s room waiting for her

To finish getting ready. “And done, what do you think?” Leah says as she twerls showing off her outfit. “You look amazing.” I smile.

“Thank you, okay let go also can we make a quick stop to pick up the guys?” She asks. “Yeah sure.” I reply.

*time skip*

We were in my car all just jamming out to some tunes. “Let’s get some Taco Bell.” Sean suggested. Everyone agreed so we stopped at toco bell to order they all and Ryan turned to me and asked “are you going to get anything?”

“No im good I eat at home thank you though” I reply politely.

Once they got their meals we were just in time, the show was about to start. We found our rows and Leah went out of her way to get front row seats. “Omg this I really happening.” Leah exclaimed. I wasn’t excited I don’t get what the hype is about.

Suddenly music starts playing and everyone starts to cheers as I see a girl around our age run in stage jumping up and down.

“White shirt, now red my bloody nose.”

“Sleeping you’re on your tipy tose.”

I couldn’t help but stare, she was I beautiful, as her hair fell down to her shoulders and her big blue crystal eyes appeared on the big screens.

I was in awe. I’ve never seen someone so beautiful in my life. As I was lost in her beauty I couldn’t help but notice the hard stares she would give me now and then at some point she even winked at me. I turned a bright red. “Omg she just winked at you.” Leah squealed. I nod eagerly.

The concert was over and it was amazing I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and the way she was looking at me. I felt something...a connection. Or maybe I’m just misreading this whole situation.

We still had the meet and greet to do and I was really excited we walked to the line and let me tell you it was LONG..

*1 hour later*

We were still in the line but Leah and the boys left me because they saw a bunch of cute boys near the front on the line. So I was at the very back..

Finally the line was moving and it was my turn. I was scared shitless she was saying goodbye to the last time pair when her eyes met mine. Her smile widened and her face softened. “Hello baby.” She says

Her voice..it’s so hypnotizing.

𝐴/𝑛: 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒! 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑎’𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑢𝑦𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 :)).

#aesthetic #billie eilish #writing #fanfiction #billie eilish fanfics #finneas #billie eilish pirate baird o'connell #billie #eilish #faniction #maggie #patrick #pov story #Billie eilish povs #y/n #Billie Eilish x y/n

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lord-explosion-baku · 4 years

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Our Love Is God pt. 2

Dabi x Reader

Warnings: mentions of noncon/somnophilia, abortion, dark themes, yandere characteristics, dabi just being a rat tbh

A/N: so like I said that I’d get back to this fic when I got bored or other, more important things were a drag to write and, well, I got bored/other,more important things were a drag to write. TW for talk of abortion. Dabi doesn’t take things lightly and thinks certain things that may make anybody who has had an abortion or has deep feelings about abortion either really guilty or really angry, but that’s not the point. The point of this fic is that he’s a bastard and not a savior. This is pretty short! And yes I plan on writing more, but that’s when I get bored or other, more important things are a drag to write!

Dabi found himself panting when he finally lifted himself up onto your balcony. It had been, what, almost two months since he’d last snuck into your room? Too long, but you hadn’t called him, and he had been busy to see what the hell was up with you. Now he had a couple days to himself, and he couldn’t shake the pestering feeling of wanting to spend them with you.

The door to your balcony was unlocked, thank god; he really didn’t want to have to burn the knob off—why make a reason for you to get pissed at him already? Dabi smirked. You were fucking cute when you were angry, but he wanted his return to be at least a little pleasant.

Unsurprisingly, you were passed out underneath that ugly-ass, pink canopy, snoozing away peacefully and unexpecting. Your bed was built for a princess, but with you sprawled out on your back with your arms splayed apart, your tank-top rising up to expose your soft belly, and your blanket tossed down so only one of your feet were covered, you looked nothing short of a cavewoman. Still hot though, and Dabi missed you.

That was it. Dabi missed you. He never really expected to miss anybody he fucked. He made plenty of girls mad in the past, so when you last kicked him out, it shouldn’t have been any different. He’d gotten used to a routine: sleep with some chick, piss her off, do crime, then forget about her. But since the night you’d kicked him out, he couldn’t get your bratty fucking face out of his damn mind. Was it that you were stubborn? Or was it that you came across as such a lil do-gooder, daddy’s favorite princess and all that bullshit, when you were really just a filthy slut on the inside?

“What is it about you that makes me crazy, baby?” Dabi asked aloud, tracing a finger up from the hemline of your pajama shorts to your bare ribs. He watched goosebumps appear on your tummy and flattened them out with the palm of his hand.

Your only response was a soft snore. Dabi scoffed.

The first time he fucked you, you had been asleep. Or at least, you were asleep when he began. He visited you a couple nights after he and Twice tried to loot your father’s safe. He’d thought you were a cute little shit, and just wanted to see your frightened face again. He climbed in through the balcony and found you asleep in your bed like you were now, only you were laying on your stomach. After sniffing around your room a little, he couldn’t help but crawl into your bed. He wanted to hear you scream, but you stayed asleep, even when Dabi’s hands inevitably started exploring your body.

Dabi couldn’t forget how deliciously wrong it felt to pet your pert little ass while you slept, how exciting it was to rub a knuckle over your clothed slit, how incredibly hot it was for you to cry out when he plunged two fingers into your sopping wet pussy. Yes, you cried, but you also moaned, and Dabi felt you clench around his fingers when he wrapped his free hand around your neck, pulled you back, and whispered to you, “I’m gonna fuck you, and you’re gonna love it, babydoll.”

Dabi made good on that promise that night. You took him so well, and it really didn’t take him all that long to get you to sing for him. You liked being taken advantage of, and Dabi learned that the more aggressive he was with you, the easier it was to make you cum. And oh, baby girl, it was just too easy to make you cum.

He was hard now, and he wanted to fuck you, but he wouldn’t. Even though you snored, there was something peaceful about watching you sleep. Of course, that didn’t stop him from palming your breasts, if only just to see your nipples pop against your tank top.

“Why haven’t you texted, huh? Was I really all that bad to you?” Dabi’s voice was soft against your neck as he placed gentle kisses along your warm flesh. He nuzzled his nose behind your ear and inhaled deeply, taking in the aroma of your washed hair. “You know I could be real good to you if that’s all you want from me…”

Calloused fingers brushed across flowery lips, the vast contrast between him and you burning a hole into his chest. He leaned over to see your mouth part subtly, invitingly. Dabi took the initiative and planted a light kiss on you. He whispered, “there’s no way you haven’t missed me a tiny bit.”

At this, you hummed, and Dabi felt tension melt from his shoulders. That was an affirmation if he’d ever heard one, which gave him permission to run both of his hands down your sides to take their sharpened places at your hips. He pulled you against his hardened groin and let himself grind his strain courteously into you.

“You know how hot you are, babe? You know how much I missed having you wrap around my cock?” God, he wanted you. He wanted to be inside of you. He wanted to kiss you, and mark you, and love you, and-

You let out a little, “uhh,” from the very back of your throat. Dabi could have damn well nearly melted into you from that tiny noise. He could only imagine what squeaks and squeals you had saved up from him when you woke up.

For a moment, he thought that he would break his resolve to not fuck you—you wanted him to anyhow—and honestly, he probably would have, had it not been for your phone lighting up, snapping his attention to your side table. It buzzed twice, which he could have ignored, and then two more times, which made Dabi grab it, reading the I.D. tag, ‘Daddy.’

Dabi scoffed and used your thumb to unlock your phone. He found that it was your father that texted you, asking about a visit to the doctor’s you made. Dabi kicked back on your bed and decided to dive into the depths of your phone, check your social media PM’s, calls you’d made, etcetera.

There were quite a few messages from boys in there. Some of them were coming on to you, others were asking when they’d see you again. Dabi’s jaw clenched when he read those messages, but he was pleased to see that you’d left all those jagoffs on read, even the ones who were more persistent. Dabi would be lying if he said he didn’t go out and sleep with a couple chicks while you were there ignoring him. You couldn’t blame him. He was a man with needs. But he never called them again. None of them mattered like you mattered, and by the look of things, it seemed like you felt the same way.

Dabi checked your photo album, finding nothing more interesting than the racey selfies you took of yourself, probably trying to feel good about yourself (Dabi sent those pictures to his own phone, before deleting the evidence). Then he went to your search history, smirking at the very specific websites you visited.

“You’re absolutely filthy,” he chuckled in the middle of watching a video you seemed to frequently visit. He couldn’t wait to try this out on you—a little make up sex surprise. In response, you turned in bed, throwing your arm around Dabi’s lap, your elbow just a few centimeters from his erection. Dabi frowned down at you, and clicked out of the video, knowing that it was just gonna spur him on. He decided to look back to see what you searched when you’d last saw him—see if you looked up anything close to ‘sex with a villain’ or the like. But he didn’t find that. What he found was weird. What he found made a pit form in the bottom of his stomach.

‘how to deal with heartbreak’ first caught his eye. Dabi thought that this could have been about him but this was about seven weeks after he’d last seen you. As he kept scrolling, it only got worse.

‘depressed after termination’

‘how to stop the pain without taking medications’

‘best ways to clean blood off of linens’

‘discrete doctors near azabu’

‘should i tell the guy im not dating about pregnancy?’

‘is there anything i can eat to not be oregano?’ (Dabi couldn’t even sneer at ‘oregano.’)

‘top 10 signs you are pregnant’

Dabi’s chest constricted. He nearly dropped the phone on your arm, but that would definitely wake you the hell up. “Pregnant?” He whispered out loud. It only made sense. Dabi never wrapped himself up with you like he did with other girls. There was something so fucking dirty about you taking him raw when he knew you didn’t want to. He knew you were clean because you didn’t fuck around—at least, not before him, which made his frown deepen.

Fuck. Despite the unusual shattered feeling Dabi felt deep in the pit of his stomach, he was still so fucking hot for you. He turned you over so that you were on your back again so he could examine your belly. He kissed you below your navel, wondering that if you hadn’t been ‘depressed after termination’ would there already be a little bump there?

There was a brief flash of a little hand pressing against the swollen stomach of a white haired woman, but Dabi quickly shook that memory away.

“Why, babe?” Dabi kissed your stomach again. Seriously, why? Did you think Dabi would be a shit dad? He probably would be! But he’d still be a dad, if he were raising a kid with you. Did you not know that? And it wasn’t like you didn’t have the funds to raise a healthy child with everything it could ever want and more! You were a spoiled brat and you would’ve raised an equally spoiled brat, and Dabi would’ve loved the hell out of the kid! What the fuck?!

Dabi’s mental fit was interrupted from a little bleep! chiming from your phone. It was from Snapchat, of course, because you were a little social media whore. Not even caring how it could look once you woke up, Dabi opened the snap to see a picture of city lights taken from high above with a little tag that read, ‘wish you were here.’ The user who sent it was nicknamed ‘K’ and their username was something indecipherable. Probably just another one of your rich-bitch friends, showing off the view from their penthouse apartment.

Dabi discarded your phone on your bed and brushed his hands through his spiky hair, cursing softly. He decided to leave then. He needed time to think and reflect. He’d have to bring this up to you sooner or later...if not, he’d figure out a way to work himself back into your life. You probably hadn’t called because you were feeling guilty, rightfully so. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to have you anymore. In fact, he wanted you more than ever before.

Jumping out of your window, Dabi decided then and there that he’d be back. He’d make you talk. And he figured that if he could get you pregnant once, he sure as hell could do it again. Easy peasy. He’d have you calling him daddy again in no time.

TAGS FOR EVERYTHING (CLOSED): @ayeputita @yandere-inamorata @dee-madwriter @unboundbnha @rizamendoza808, @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten @rubycubix @zellllyyyy@sarcastictextstuck@kpanime @captain-sin-allmight-queen @psionicsnow@wickedlewicked @ghost-of-todoroki @kattariapenn@im-an-adult-sometimes @bnhya @local-senpai@eggpienutbuttercroissant@usernamekate94 @reyvenclaww @hi-ho-and-hello

#dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #touya x reader #bnha x reader #yandere x reader #yandere bnha #bnha yandere #reader insert #bnha reader insert #x reader #yandere!dabi #yandere!dabi x reader #olig

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kaylorrehabcenter · 3 years

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Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song.

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five.

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it.

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel.

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated.

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn.

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade.

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be.

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute.

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight.

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

#long post //#fearless the album #gaylor #what do i tag this for it to show up for peope??#gay rating

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livesincerely · 3 years

Note

alriGht what about jacks dad becuase now im interested 👀

Might I offer you a scene in these trying times? ;)

00000

“Just because I’ve lost control of my life doesn’t mean you have to give up yours,” Davey says.

“You ain’t lost control of your life,” Jack says, which is so incredibly untrue and so thoroughly not the point that Davey could almost scream in frustration. “You barely had a life to lose control of⁠—it got stolen from you months ago.”

“Jackie,” Davey says, determined to stay on track. “I’m not saying I don’t appreciate it. These two weeks have been like something out of a daydream, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for giving me all this. But I can’t let you sacrifice everything you’ve worked towards for me⁠—that’s not fair to you.”

“Davey,” Jack says, already shaking his head. “I’m not sacrificing anything I can’t live without. I want to be here, with you.”

“You say that now,” Davey counters. “But a few weeks from now? A few months? You’ll regret all the time you wasted worrying about me when you realize what you’ve lost, I know you will, and I can’t risk⁠—”

Davey cuts himself off, biting his lip.

He takes a breath, re-centers, then carefully continues with, “So, we should just stop this now, while it’s not too late. We can turn around, head back home, beg forgiveness... and go back to our lives.”

“Is that what you want?” Jack asks quietly.

“It’s what’s best,” Davey says. “We can’t run forever, so we might as well save ourselves the heartache.”

Jack doesn’t respond for a long time⁠—long enough that Davey thinks he’s not going to acknowledge what he said at all. But then he lets out a soft, whispering sigh.

“Do you remember freshman year, when my dad got outta prison?” Jack asks.

Davey's head whips around to stare at him, eyes wide. But Jack’s hands are perfectly steady on the steering wheel, his gaze fixed out on the sprawling highway before them.

Suddenly uncertain, Davey says, “Of course I do.”

“Then you remember how bad it was, right?” Jack continues, and it’s only the tone of his voice⁠—too perfectly controlled and even⁠—that gives away the depth of his feelings. “How I fell apart, just absolutely raging at everyone and everything, all the time? I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate. I stopped turning in assignments, then stopped going to class altogether, because what was the point? What was the point in anything, in pretending to even try, if they were just gonna give me back to my old man?”

“I remember,” Davey says softly, and he does.

He remembers it like it was yesterday, the worry and fear that welled up inside him, watching Jack spiral and sink under the weight of it all, how utterly useless he’d felt watching his best friend struggle and suffer. It’d been absolute hell.

“You held me together, Dave,” Jack says. “I wouldn’t have made it through that year without you.”

“Yes, you would’ve⁠—”

“No, Davey, I’m serious,” Jack insists, and even at this angle Davey can see that his mouth is set, grim and solemn, across his face. “If you hadn’t’a been there, I’m not sure what woulda happened. Because the others… they love me and they tried their best, but you were just… you were fucking incredible. You put up with all my mood swings, kept me from doin’ anything irreversibly stupid⁠—and god knows I considered doin’ all kinds of stupid shit back then, just desperate and panicking⁠. Half the time you knew what I needed even before I did, and when you didn’t you would sit there and listen and help me figure it out, or just keep me company when I couldn’t stand to be alone with my thoughts but also didn’t wanna be around anyone.”

“What, did I not count as someone?” Davey says, and he’s trying for a bit of levity, but the effect is ruined by the rasp in his voice.

Jack looks at him. It’s just a brief meeting of their eyes before he looks back at the road, but it feels weighted, a deliberate contact: like how it feels to have an arm thrown around your waist or a hand pressed against the space between your shoulder blades.

“You ain’t someone,” Jack says, the words ringing with warmth. “You’re more than just someone. You’re Davey.”

Before Davey can come up with any kind of response to this declaration, Jack continues with, “You were there for me. Not ‘cause you had to be, but because I needed my best friend to drag me, limping and sweating and bleeding and crying, through the worst year of my life. Because you loved me enough to make sure I got through it, no matter what. That’s what you told me, remember? That you were gonna get me through the year, even if you had to carry me along on your back?”

Davey nods, helpless to do anything else, his voice trapped somewhere in the back of his throat.

“So the only way I’m wastin’ my time now is if you were wastin’ your time back then,” Jack says, each syllable crisp and concise. “And, well, I wouldn’t blame you for thinkin’ that, but⁠—”

It comes tearing out of him: “You are not a waste of my time⁠—!”

“And you aren’t a waste of mine,” Jack smoothly interjects, and he’s smirking, just a little, because he’s an asshole. “Glad we could agree on that one.”

Davey blinks at the side of Jack’s head, realizing, finally, that he’s been thoughtfully outmaneuvered. For several minutes there’s nothing but blur of open fields on either side of the road, the wide expanse of endless blue sky above them.

“This is different,” Davey says, once he thinks he can manage the words. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better about it, but we both know this is different.”

“Don’t seem so different to me,” Jack says calmly. “Seems like we’re both making sure the other gets taken care of, however that has to happen.”

“It’s different,” Davey insists. “You needed someone to lean on during a rough patch, I’m dragging you across the fucking country. You’re putting your whole life on hold for me.”

“I would argue that I’m the one draggin’ you across the country,” Jack says. “You ain’t exactly puttin’ a gun to my head⁠—”

“Stop pretending like this isn’t a big deal!” Davey shouts, and the outburst takes them both by surprise. “Jack, you have to see that this is⁠— That this isn’t just⁠—”

“David,” Jack says, and there’s a world of feeling in just that one word. “You’re not gonna be able to talk me out of this. Because you were hurting. Because they were crushing you. Because you needed to get away from all of that and someone had to drive the getaway car. Because you needed someone to push you to go and keep you from talking yourself into a life of misery, because that’s what this is, you know? This is you feeling guilty about stealing even a fucking second of your happiness back, and I’m not gonna let them have you again until you can tell me that you actually want to go home, not just that you think you should.”

“You stayed,” Davey whispers. “Back then, with everything… you stayed. I made sure that you stayed.”

“And that’s why I needed you: to anchor me, to keep me steady.” Jack says. “But Dave, if they weighed you down with any more chains, you’d sink right through the ground. It’s different on the surface, yeah, but not at the heart of it. Not where it counts.”

Jack reaches over and places his hand over Davey’s, giving it a gentle squeeze, then leaves it there—their hands curled together over the console.

“Let me take care of you the way you took care of me, okay?” Jack continues softly, carefully. “Let me be the place where you hide, at least for a little while.”

Davey stares down at their joined hands for what feels like an eternity⁠⁠—until his vision goes blurry and his eyes start to sting⁠—feeling at once horribly guilty and terribly, terribly grateful.

With a shaky exhale, he squeezes back.

“Okay,” Davey says quietly, because there’s nothing else to be said in the face of all that is Jack Kelly. “At least for a little while.”

00000

#*ask #*editor's note #bits & bobs #run away with me fic #*the writing desk #javid #newsies #I still need to add some stuff to the top but I’m pretty happy w this one #thank you for the ask!#blessings on your house

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givemequeen · 4 years

Text

don’t talk to her; draco x muggle!reader

request: what about draco falling in love with a sweet, shy, muggle girl🥺 a/n: eek, im usually not a fan of like muggle!reader or reader that isnt from Slytherin because im Slytherin (😗✌🏼) but im excited about this. i kind of dragged this along... whoops. pairing: draco x muggle!reader summary: Draco met yn when he was five at the park. As soon as they began talking he was dragged away by his father. When he returned from his fourth year at Hogwarts, he spotted her by the river. warnings: erm, idk. angsty? year: 1985 -> 1994 word count: 3045

“Don’t talk to her.” snapped Lucius as he dragged five-year-old Draco away from a Muggle girl. Draco looked up at his dad with wide eyes. Why couldn’t he talk to you? One moment he had been playing carelessly with a random girl at the park and the next he was being dragged away by his father. Draco furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why not dad?” he asked.

“Because she’s a Muggle.” Lucius spat, his voice full of venom. “And we don’t mingle with their kind.” he added as he dragged Draco back home.

Ever since then Draco hadn’t been allowed back to the park. Instead, his father bought him one and had it set up in his backyard. Draco spent lonely afternoons sat in the swing staring at the ground trying to remember everything he could about that Muggle girl. Her eyes, her smile, her voice, the way her hand softly wrapped around his.

But as the years went by, the memory grew more and more distant until, one day, it completely vanished. Tucked away safely in the depths of his mind.

Draco was returning from his 4th year at Hogwarts, bickering in his mind about Potter, when he saw a strangely familiar Muggle girl strolling by the river near his house. He ordered his driver to stop the car and he got out. He approached the scene and hid behind a tree to watch as the Muggle girl splashed her feet in the river.

He was about to sneak away when he stepped on a twig. The Muggle girl squealed and jumped up. She grabbed the nearest thing she found to defend herself, her shoe, and held it in front of her threateningly.

“Who are you?” she asked trying to sound confident but her voice cracked at the end. Draco raised his hands to show he was innocent and didn’t bear any weapons. “Wait a minute... I know you.” she slowly said lowering her deadly weapon. “Aren’t you that kid...” her eyebrows knitted as she tried to remember where she had seen his platinum blonde hair before. “Yeah, from the park! You live in that manor, don’t you.” a smile crawled onto her face as she pointed down the street.

“Erm, yeah.” Draco said.

“Hi, I’m yn!” she took a step towards Draco. Instead of taking a set forward, Draco backed away. “Is everything okay?” she asked.

“I need to go.” Draco muttered, rushing back to his car. He shut the door and told the driver to take him home leaving yn confused and alone.

Draco spent the first two weeks of the Summer holiday cooped up in the room thinking about the girl. He finally knew her name.

YN.

It rolled off his tongue naturally. Draco whispered it under his breath, each time he felt his cheeks grow warmer and butterflies flutter in his stomach.

But he couldn’t feel this way... She was a Muggle and he was a wizard, a Malfoy, a son of a Death-Eater. It would never end well.

Draco spent his nights tossing and turning, a constant argument tormenting his head; should he head back to the riverside and try finding her again or should he stay in his room and ignore his feelings towards her.

Draco made up his mind during the 3rd week. He made up a lousy excuse of wanting to take a walk and headed to the edge of the Manor’s immense grounds. With some difficulty, Draco managed to jump over the thick wall surrounding the Malfoy Manor’s estate.

He fixed his clothes before marching towards the tree by the river where he had last seen her. When he reached the tree, Draco was disappointed to find the spot under its shade empty. He huffed and looked around, his arms swinging by his sides, to try and find some clues that could led him to yn. There was no sing of her.

As though one cue, yn’s voice could be heard from behind Draco. He jumped at the sudden noise. Draco turned to look at her, properly look at her. He now noticed how beautiful she truly was. Her brown locks cascaded down her back, silky and smooth. Draco dreamed of running her fingers through it, she was wearing a long, flowy flowery skirt that rippled with the wind and a Nirvana t-shirt.

“Looking for me?” she said, arching her eyebrow.

“I- erm- Well, yes.” Draco admitted, he stuck one of his hands into his trousers and the other went to the back of his neck, scratching the area nervously. “I’m Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.” he said.

“I’m yn yln.” she took a slow, careful step towards him as to not scare him off. “Nice to meet ya.” she smiled brightly and stuck her hand out.

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” Draco said, still unsure of what he was doing, as he shook her hand.

Draco and yn spent the rest of the afternoon sat by the riverside talking. He was careful not to mention anything related to magic. It pained him when he had to make up a fake school and lie to her about his past and family. Draco could’ve spent the rest of the summer there, lying peaceful under the basking sun with yn chatting by his side.

But the sun was setting and Draco had to return home. He somehow managed to say goodbye to her before heading back home. He jumped over the wall into his grounds and sneaked back into the manor. No one had noticed his absence. Draco wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

That night, Draco went to sleep calmly. He didn’t toss or turn and his tormenting thoughts were replaced with yn’s friendly laughter, her warm smile and caring touch. And the hope of seeing her again.

Nearly a month had passed their first day together and Draco couldn’t be happier. He skipped around the Manor, toning it down during lunches and dinners. The atmosphere in his house towards the end of the summer had gotten darker and darker but no one told Draco what was happening.

A day before Draco’s return to Hogwarts he met with yn. They felt like best friends, as though they had know each other their entire lives. His heart swelled as he saw her approach him. yn jumped into his arms, squeezing him slightly before he, gently, set her down.

“What is it Draco?” yn asked, she noticed something different in his aura.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” he admitted.

“Oh.” her smile faded and shoulders dropped. “Well, lets make the best of it!” she added.

“yn, I won’t be able to see you in a long time... I’ll come back for the winter holidays.” Draco grabbed her hand.

“We can call, doesn’t your school have a phone?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. Draco chuckled at that.

“No, my school doesn’t have a phone.” he said, his shoulders shaking.

“Oh... Lets enjoy our last day together, okay?” Draco nodded.

Draco had never gone through a worse first term. He sulked during every single lesson and nearly forgot to do his daily insult. Pansy Parkinson’s touch repulsed him like never before. His friends began to notice his strange behaviour but he simply brushed it off whenever they asked him.

The day he returned for Winter Holidays was the best day of his life. He had bought yn a gift, something he could pass off as a Muggle object, and was buzzing with nerves and excitement to give it to her. They met by the river and spent the day together even if their toes were about to freeze off due to the chilly temperature that had frozen the river.

Draco’s parents were too busy to care for him but, for the first time in his life, he didn’t mind and, also for the first time in his life, he felt loved, cared for and respected.

The gift Draco had gotten her for Christmas where a pair of white ice skates with a green snake to the side. yn had loved the gift and they made plans to meet the next day and spend the day skating (well, Draco spent it trying to teach yn to skate).

But all good things must come to an end and Draco was forced to return to Hogwarts. He spent the rest of the year counting down the days till the next time he could see yn.

“The Dark Lord will be staying with us, Draco.” announced his mother one day over dinner. He had been thinking of yn and today’s meet up when his mother told him the dreaded news. He choked on his dinner.

Draco’s first thought was yn. What would the Dark Lord do if he found out one of his follower’s son was seeing a Muggle? He shook the thought out of his head and rushed to his bedroom without finish his dinner. The one thing he had feared all his life was finally coming true. Draco was sure he would be branded as a Death-Eater just like his father before him.

The next time Draco met with yn he was distant and left earlier than ever before. yn noticed the change and decided to follow him home. She hid behind a stray bush and watched as he jumped the wall and scrambled back home, his head hung low.

The Dark Lord come to the Malfoy Manor the very next day with Lucius Malfoy fresh out of Azkaban. Draco grimaced at his father’s sate. His beard was overgrown and his usually neat hair was a mess. The cloak he wore had several rips and he was in desperate need of a shower.

Less than a week later Draco was preparing himself for the Dark Mark. He skipped his meetings with yn and hid in his room until he was called down by a house elf.

Voldemort was sat at the top of the dark wooded dining table, a snake curled up by his feet. Draco gulped as he approached him and nearly gaged when he was forced to kiss Voldemort’s hand.

“Very good, boy.” Voldemort hissed as he reached for his wand. Draco stuck out his left forearm and as the tip of his wand touched his bare skin.

A sudden pang of pain overtook his sense. The blinding pain bent him over as he let out a piercing scream. Narcissa clutched Lucius’ arm and buried her face in his neck, she couldn’t bear watching her son letting out chocked cries.

As soon as Voldemort’s hand let go of Draco, he collapsed on the floor squirming around in pain, clutching his burning forearm. Narcissa reached for him and dragged him out of the hall and towards the safety of his room.

Draco remained passed out for three days. When he woke up his eyes met the mark brunt on his skin. He let out a cry and tried getting up. As soon as his feet touched the cool, wooden floor, his head felt light and he collapsed backwards onto his bed. His first thought was yn, he had completely abandoned her without an explanation.

yn still showed up, every day, to their spot. She stayed there until the sun set but Draco never showed up. A week after his disappearance yn decided to go to his house. She sneaked up to the wall and copied what she had seen Draco do a week ago.

Her eyes bulged out of her head as she looked around. The manor was beautiful. She had only ever seen it from far way. The gardens were littered with beautiful, white peacocks that proudly stuttered around. Hundreds of different spices of flowers and trees adorned the neatly trimmed grass.

yn sneaked towards a glass backdoor. She peered inside and saw dark wooden furniture everywhere. Her hand reached up to the door handle, trembling. Something felt wrong, apart from the fact that she was breaking and entering.

She pushed the thought of legal punishment out of her mind and twisted the door handle. yn slipped inside before carefully and silently closing the door behind her. She tipped toed down the corridor and into a large hall. An even larger marble staircase led upstairs.

yn had no idea what she was doing, how would she find Draco’s room? But she had no time to think, as soon as she reached a landing yn heard voices coming from around a corridor. She hid behind a credenza and watched as two adults neared her hiding spot.

“Harry Potter will be dead this time next year.” one of them said. yn froze, a murder? Did Draco know about this?

“Not even his little mud-blood friend can save her. Nor Dumbledore’s magic. The Dark Lord is too powerful.” the two voices carried past her. Their footsteps quietened down the further they got away from her.

She crawled out of her hiding spot and darted down a corridor. Paintings and potratis lined the walls and yn could’ve sworn she saw one wink. At the end of the corridor stood a carved, wooden door. yn decided to test her luck and open it.

Inside was the most magnificent room she had ever since. The walls were silver and green. A large sitting area with two armchairs stood opposite the door. A lit fireplace in front of the chairs warming the room. On either side of the fireplace were large bookcases. She turned to look to the right and through an archway she saw a large, four-post bed.

Her mouth fell open as her eyes scanned the room, taking everything in. She approached the fireplace, the flames flickered. Behind her a door knob rattled and the door opened, she hid behind the armchair and peered over it to look how had entered the room.

It was Draco.

She smiled at him and was about to greet him when she saw the mark on his forearm. She frowned at the tattoo, a large skull with a snake coming out of his mouth ruined his milky white skin.

She took in his body, he had just hopped of the shower. His hair was still wet, the tips of the platinum blonde stuck to his forehead. A white, fluffy towel was wrapped his waist giving yn a full view of his toned chest and arms. Draco shook his hair and reached for the towel letting it dropped.

yn couldn’t help but squeal.

“AGH!” Draco yelled turning around to face yn. He scrambled to pick up his towel but yn had seen everything. “What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get in?” Draco’s eyes snapped to the door making sure it was closed.

“Draco, quick, we need to leave. Someone is playing on murdering someone called Harry Potter. We need to alert the police.” yn said, the words pouring out of her mouth. She grabbed his arm and attempted to drag him out of the room but he didn’t flinch.

“yn, wait.”

“Draco, no- what are you doing?” she turned to him, he was holding up a dark wand. Draco bit his lower lip, mentally debating wether or not he should perform a magic spell. He shook his head and set the wand down on his bed.

“yn, sit down, there’s something I need to tell you.” he led her to the armchairs. She reluctantly sat down, her hands on her lap. Draco’s eyes fell to his feet, he shifted his weight trying to find a comfortable spot and the words to break the news to yn. “I’m a wizard...” he finally said.

yn’s eyebrows furrowed, she stared at him as she began giggling. But Draco kept his monotone face. She scanned his face, still laughing, looking for a hint of laughter but found nothing. Slowly, her laughter died down and her jaw dropped.

“What? Magic doesn’t exist Draco.” she laughed unsurely.

“Yes, look.” he stood up and padded over to his bed where his wand lay. He picked it up and twirled it around his fingers. The tip of his wand lay on a book, he swished and flicked it and the book began hovering around.

“What-” yn said, her eyes following the book as it touched the roof and floated back down. “No.” her head shook furiously. “No, no, no, no.” she stood up, backing away from Draco.

“yn, please, I didn’t want you to know this way.” Draco walked to her.

“NO!” she yelled, her hands extended in front of her. A single tear slipped from her eye. “No, this isn’t true.” her head was shaking itself.

Draco watched, his own eyes pooling, at the disgusted look on yn’s face. He didn’t expect her to understand. Her eyes flickered down to his forearm.

“What’s that? Who is Harry Potter?”

“Please, sit down, I’ll explain everything.” but yn shook her head.

“I’m fine here.” Draco silently begged her with his eyes but she didn’t move.

“Fine.” he said and took a seat on one of his armchairs. He began explaining everything beginning with Voldemort’s quick rise to power. Draco spoke about his defeat, about Harry Potter, Hogwarts, The Triwizard Tournament, about everything up until now. By the time he finished yn had slid down onto the floor.

“He’s going to kill all the ‘impures’?” she squeaked, Draco slowly nodded. He stood up, his hand in hand and walked over to yn. “What are you doing?” she asked when he lifted his wand. “Draco! What are you doing?” the tip of his wand touched her left temple. yn struggled against it but he had trapped her. “No! Draco!” a tear slipped from his eye down his pale cheek. It was for the best.

“It’s going to be okay, you’ll forget this ever happened- you’ll forget me.” he said and began chanting a spell, yn shook head head furiously. She kicked and withered under his touch but Draco didn’t let go. A pearly white string began slipping out of yn’s mind. Draco fought back the tears threatening to slip from his eyes.

“I love you.” she said, her eyes going blank. Her body went limp, collapsing into his arms.

“I love you too yn.” he whispering against her forehead as he cradled her body.

tag list;

@thebeatleswritings @beatlevmania @i-love-queen-3000 @brians-metaphor26 @honimello @julessworldd @storiesfrommirkwood @beatles-babee @geostarr @thiccjelly17 @crab-king-69 @in-the-frap-of-the-gods

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy angst

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radbutsafe · 3 years

Note

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

#ask meme #ask rad shit #writing #writing by rad #fanfic #reina girl u put me thru it I swear lol #thank u for sending!!#ur amazing!!!!

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seijorhi · 4 years

Text

asks :)

once again, i’m terrible at answering things :)

First off, your newest Kuroo story WRECKED ME. OMMMMMG LIKE IT'S SOOO FUCKING GOOD. You are one of the most incredible writers ever, like professional style writing. These should be books and you should get paid for it, honestly. Your skill is totally unmatched, my friend. I just adore everything you write. I had two questions thou about the story, just because I am totally obsessed by it- so has Kuroo been obsessed with her since he saw her, I'm like curious how his obsession started

like is it because she's young and he's interested? Cuz I totally got the vibes at the party that he was showing her off like she was his girlfriend and he seems like he has been wanting her for awhile. I was just curious about how it started cuz god I'm a simp for yandere kuroo- boss man Kuroo would make me weakkkkk. My second question is so is he like obsessively in love with her or is it like just a this hot piece of ass is mine to fuck kinda thing? Like does he want a relationship?

anyways, I love you and I love your writing. Everything you write is legit perfection! Thank you for all your beautiful stories you share with us! - Kai

first of all, whomst gave you the right to be so damn sweet???!?! dsgsjkl thank you, bby!

so, like with all my fics i kind of have a ‘read into it how you want’ thing going for it. whether or not kuroo actually has ‘romantic’ (i use that word loosely) feelings for the reader or whether he just enjoys fucking her because he’s in a position of power and she’s easily manipulated is left a little up to your interpretation and how you’d prefer to imagine it. however, having said that there are little hints throughout the fic that imply that there’s a little more depth to kuroo’s feelings. you’re not wrong with the whole ‘showing her off’ vibe at the party, and there’s mentions of confessions that kuroo gives while he’s fucking the reader - also the title of the fic, invidia, means envy in latin. so take that how you will 🤷‍♀️

and as far as how it all began, i like to think that it was kind of a slow build. again it’s implied that kuroo has met the reader (however briefly) a few times before - at games as nekoma’s manager, when she initially was introduced as his girlfriend and she has stayed over at their place in the past. it wasn’t so much a singular moment, but kuroo’s definitely been paying more attention to her than she realises.

WHAT WHAT WHAT???? RHI UHMMM WAS KUROO IN LOVE WITH THE READER???? 👀👀👀👀 HOLY SHIT. I'm honestly mind blown rn like I have a lot of questions like did Shin know? Was he also into it? Omg the idea of Father and Son sharing reader...

(also I def did not hope that Bokuto was also there cuz that would have be fun....oppsss)🙊

hehehe

no, shin didn’t know but oh can you imagine the betrayal if he did? if he willingly set up the reader to be fucked by his dad 👀god damn

adsfgdhjfkfl there was a moment i genuinely considered having something more happen at the christmas party where bo would stumble across and one thing would lead to another.... but i decided not to go that route. this one needed to be solo kuroo haha

Rhi, what can I say, amazing as always!

ahhh thank you sm, bby!

Hi i absolutely love the kuroo fic at first no one would actually notice he was into and then story actually rises nicely however i would like to ask like what happens later im sorry im a little burnt out from my mountains of assignments that i cant think of a possible aftermath since the story had an open ending but yeah what happens later after the whole scene does y/n stay there for the 7 days and get r*ped again or she goes home early and like what happens to kuroo and shinsuke im sorry for annoying you with questions its fully up to you whether u would like to answer or not :-)

aw, thank you! I hope your assignments and stuff are all done? And pls bby, you’re not annoying me at all 💕💕💕

Honestly again, it’s kind of left up to what you like to think would happen, but personally I think that the reader stays, because there’s no easy way to get out of that situation without raising suspicion - which means that she then has to spend the next week trying unwittingly playing cat and mouse with Kuroo who’s gonna use every damn opportunity he has to push your boundaries 👀

Duuuuude invidia fucked me up! Like fuck, lol! The build up was so spectacular! It makes me wonder two things: how did kuroo’s obsession start, and what would shin have done if he caught them (and why do I feel like he’d join in... I guess it runs in the family lol).

I loved it sooooo much and im also so creeped out lol. Can’t trust other people’s dads. Everything about it was perfect!

glad you liked it, bby!!

shin’s a good boy and he genuinely loves the reader, but i think if he did stumble across the two of them he’d just shut down and walk away. it’d be the biggest betrayal in his eyes - it wouldn’t matter if you were drunk or he was, who came onto who - the two most important people in his life going behind his back would just break him :( and i think he probably wouldn’t give either of them a chance to explain

but if we’re talking degenerate shin... 👀👉👈

imagine if invidia! reader gets pregnant and Shin thinks it’s his, but its actually his dad’s 🤭

oooh kuroo would be such a smug little shit - he’d get extra touchy feely with the reader, drop ‘casual’ hints, basically doing everything outside of straight up admitting it to him, just to see how far he can push until shin starts to doubt whether he’s actually the father - when it’s just the two of you though... i think he’d be a little softer - but equally as possessive - you’re his, and so’s the kid growing inside of you

Kuroo: son do you know what a cuck is? Shinnosuke: no? Kuroo: wOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT - @south-korea-cakes

dagshjskl i snorted when i read this but you’re not wrong lmao

hi rhi! i have a question about Lion’s Den! did oikawa purposely set the reader up to witness his true nature? or was it chance that she saw him kill?

no - i think he’d rather have kept you in the dark a little longer and tried to let things develop ‘organically’ but he’s not upset that you did find out the truth - gives him an excuse to move things along and take what he wants 👀

hey rhi:) soo my boyfriend of two years just broke up with me and so far a major comfort has just been rereading your stories. something about feeling desired, ya know? anyway, thanks for making me feel a little better <3 - @theofficialhufflepuff

aw i’m sorry to hear that :( i’m glad my fics can help make you feel a lil better - sending love bby! 💕

omg i adore everything in the soulmate series hello !! would any of the soulmate pairings ever end up feeling lowkey competitive w/ the other?? like all of them seem to mutually respect the other but would there ever come a point where smth pushes them into trying to outdo ur other soulmate when it comes to ur affection?

also have i mentioned how much i love ur writing bc i love ur writing

hmmm, not so much with oikawa & iwa or ushijima and tendou because i think they have pretty rock solid relationships with each other prior to the reader coming along - if they did it would only be minor stuff

the twins on the other hand - good fucking luck with them because they’ll turn everything into a competition. the moment one twin thinks you’re favouring the other too much expect to get dragged across the room and forced to spend ‘quality time’ with the other. it’s all very petty and exhausting and there is no possible chance for you to win. but thank you sweetheart!!

tonight im thinking about The Final Girl! boys forcing you to share a bed with them for the first time. With Kuroo’s face buried in the crook of your neck, one big hand palming your breast for good measure, Bo holding onto your waist, and Kaashi’s legs tangled with yours. its suffocating, really😪😓

asdgdhjdkdl suffocating? yes. now where do i sign up?? 🥺

you are so talented in writing it's crazy!! just the way you articulate things is ugh *chef's kiss*. i hope you are doing well and not receiving hate 🥺 ily pls

ahhh thank you so much, messages like these always make me so happy! ily bby! 💕

more karasuno first years soon? 👀

who’s to say?? i don’t have any full fics planned but maybe some concepts and thirsts??

if you make a yandere msby fic i’ll literally lose it i love your writing

👀i am considering it

#ask #anon #BD answers #BD love #fic q's #tw pregnancy

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flatstarcarcosa · 4 years

Text

took a bath and came up w so many headcanons i dunno where to start so in no particular order im just gonna get into it

any of the more detailed stuff is below the cut

the issue of azulon refusing to respond to ozai’s kidnappers causes....a lot of problems. for one, it ends up with both his sons now being against him, and united in thinking at this point he’s just a crazy old fuck that needs to go. iroh understands at first, that conceding would be negotiating and would make them all look weak. he doesn’t AGREE with it, but he understands.

but after everything is said and done, azulon STILL refuses to do anything in retaliation, and that’s when iroh gets fed up. he tries explaining that continuing to do nothing is just as bad as giving in, and instead of it making people think azulon isn’t to be trifled with, it just makes people think now they can do anything they want against the family and get away with it.

it also makes iroh think the whole thing was more about punishing ozai for failing to ‘behave’ than anything else.

after the few months of healing, ozai decides to leave. the whole mess has made him really realize how goddamned fucking tired of it all he is, and that he doesn’t have to stick around and deal with it. if his father was willing to let him get almost killed to prove some imaginary point, then what’s he going to do if ozai just skips town?

not a damn thing, as it happens.

also, him realizing his dad is nothing, in the end, but a senile blowhard that refuses to adapt to a rapidly changing world is something he’s going to need to address sooner or later, but you know, one thing at a time.

also, i used to work for them in a more official capacity on the crime side of things, my position as a mechanic was me ‘retiring’, in a sense.

ozai, since in this au he’s a little bit stupid, does not realize this. to be fair, we never had much interaction before, but still. pretty much the biggest thing iroh and i end up agreeing on re: ozai is that neither of us want to deal with him throwing a temper tantrum if he were to find out this late in the game about my former employment.

also, his jaw gets wired shut for like six weeks.

i mentioned that by the time i get to him, he’s basically rescued himself, but. it’s not great, scoob, and quite frankly if i hadn’t shown up to get him he probably would have died anyway.

for one, the only reason he manages to get loose is because he is LITERALLY covered in so much of his own blood that it causes the handcuffs they’d put on him to just kinda [slide whistle noise] (partial degloving, lads!!)

by the time iroh bothers to tell me whats going on, it’s already been three almost four days, which means by the time i get there, by all rights ozai probably should have just been passed out half dead in a corner somewhere.

he’s in so much shock his brain kind of just stops registering anything in pain, and he’s literally running on autopilot and a lot of adrenaline.

i decided to go with ye olde standard for mafia/crime boss settings and that in the end they just used ol reliable and socked him with a baseball bat. but like, a lot.

it shatters his jaw, and at one point one of the hits is so bad it just completely detaches his left retina, which is the initial cause of his vision loss. that probably could have been fixed if he’d been able to get treated right away, but by the time i drag his ass into a hospital and the doctors get him in surgery it’s a case of judging general quality of life, long term, and they decide missing an eye but being able to like, walk, talk, and eat for the rest of his life takes precedent.

there’s also other various things like broken ribs, internal bleeding, i’m thinking they end up snipping some various bits in his abdomen (there’s a surprisingly large amount of organs you can in fact survive without, you know)

the biggest issues are the damage to his eye socket, skull, and mandible. his jaw gets wired shut for almost two months, which he’s not fucking happy about at all.

he’s less happy when iroh jokes that this is the longest they’ve gone with an argument in almost a decade.

poor guy can’t even flip him off properly due to said partial degloving and having both hands taped and bandaged to different degrees.

azulon tries to suck up to ozai’s egotism after by being all ‘bUt LoOk wHaT yOuVE sUrViVeD’, but it doesn’t change his attitude of ‘cool story, still leaving’

also post incident he suffers a lot from migraines, especially within the first like 12-18 months of his brain trying to adjust to his skewed depth perception. that and the stiffness in his jaw are just terribly comorbid chronic pain causing buddies.

eventually he has to sink money in a fuck ton of dental work. he lost a lot of his molars and a couple of incisors on the top and bottom on the left side, and the nature of the injuries, the reconstruction, and the fact that he kept popping infections in his mouth meant getting new teeth had to wait.

part of the infections are caused by him trying to get it done too soon, which i end up not being happy about because by this point i am tired! of having to drag his half dead ass to the hospital!!

also for a while ends up cycling through different haircuts, since the original surgeons weren’t concerned about his looks, and just shaved his head wherever they needed too, so. he spends a lot of time trying to find something between ‘completely awful’ and ‘still awful but bearable’

also, he is SUPER mad when he finally gets the dental work done and finds out the speech issues he’s had, namely a kind of marbled mouthed/mumbling issue aren’t any better.

he’d been expecting it would go away once he got the permanent teeth in and not just the temporary bridge work and stuff, so rifp.

also, by the time he’s getting ready to get the dental work done he is so, so, so fucking tired of eating soft foods and nothing BUT soft foods, holy fuck.

#txt.txt #ozai #reezai au: third street firebenders #me pointing at a bastard: how i can fuck him up more

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tigerlilynoh · 5 years

Text

Almost Got ‘em

Written for the 2019 @spnsummergen. Rating: G Featuring: Original characters, and a couple familiar faces Word Count: 3,143 Warnings: foul language Author's Notes: The prompt was “Early season - demons in hell plotting to take the Winchesters down.” I was immediately inspired by the Batman: The Animated Series episode “Almost Got ‘im.” Summary: Deep in the depths of Hell, a group of demons discuss the two latest pains in their collective ass: Sam and Dean Winchester. Rumor is that the brothers had found the Colt and even killed a demon. Of course, rumors are just big talk— yet a pair of demons patiently listen; their plan is already in action.

Two figures made their way through the halls of the third lowest dungeon in Hell. As they walked the jagged stone walls seemed to close in around them, but their petite, female forms prevented the blade-like rock from tearing at their temporary flesh. Even if they were injured it would be of no importance; they were demons and there was a meeting that they very much wanted to attend.

Both were wearing lean, blonde women who might’ve been mistaken for sisters, but that was the limit of their outward similarity. The slightly older of them wore a gauzy, white dress that, when combined with her delicate steps, gave her the air of a drifting spirit. Her partner was another story. The younger demon’s black combat boots thudded with every step, announcing her presence. Her attire was entirely leather—the cow sort, not human—dyed dark enough to hide spilled blood.

Neither of them said a word as they approached the auxiliary dungeon rumored to be containing an unusual sort of rendezvous. The pair didn’t have anything more to discuss for the moment. They both knew their immediate goals, responsibilities, and when push came to shove, which of them was in charge. They damn well better have known. Between the two of them, they’d spent over a decade putting their respective pieces in order and double-checking their work.

When they reached the unmarked door that they’d heard whispers about, the demon in the white dress pushed it open without hesitation. She stepped through the door with an unassuming demeanor. Her colleague followed her, studying the contents of the chamber with a wary eye.

Inside there were eight lesser demons standing or sitting around a storage room. Three racks had been laid out flat, then pushed together to create an improvised conference table. Five of the occupants were perched on crates of acid, steel nails, and other implements of pain. The remaining three leaned against the far wall, cautiously keeping some distance.

A brutish-looking man with pasty skin, a pronounced brow, and stringy black hair glared at the newcomers from the opposite side of the table. He stared with the intensity of someone who had taken charge—he certainly didn’t hold any noteworthy rank as evidenced by his badly calloused hands that hinted at many decades or centuries of wielding a whip, the shoddy ones meant for working souls.

In a low growl he asked the two women, “What do you want?”

“We heard that this is the place to be if you truly hate the Winchesters,” answered the elder one.

He stared at them for a moment before replying, “Get inside and shut the fucking door.”

The pair entered, closing the door behind them. From the way that everyone turned their attention to a stout demon sitting on a box labeled ‘spiders’ they assumed that it was his turn to speak. The two women settled themselves on a non-technically-iron maiden that was lying along one of the walls as if it were a bench.

The stout demon resumed addressing his audience. “So then I tore the cow apart—six chunks, big ones but still enough to spread around, and some smaller hunks. You don’t want to waste it by piling the whole cow in one corner of the room. You might as well not bother cutting the damn thing up—Anyway, I hung pieces of it throughout the house.” The sound of scuttling inside the box he was sitting on filled the room as he fumed for a moment in anger. “It’s a classic omen! It’s a horror! And the older of the brothers makes a joke about hamburgers!”

“So disrespectful,” muttered a female demon with hollow eyes and frayed white hair. Several demons nodded in agreement with her comment.

“That kind of work takes time,” complained the portly demon. “I’m not a high-caste demon. I can’t just wave my hand and make things move. Do you have any idea how long it takes to cut up a cow? And the first cleaver broke and I had to find a store—”

“Was it a vegetable cleaver?” asked the lean demon with a mangled left arm and long, frizzy brown hair sitting next to him. When he looked up at her face in confusion, she rested her hand on his thigh, then said in a soft voice, “Milmont, sweetie, two kinds of cleavers. Vegetable ones aren’t made for bone.”

“I don’t fucking believe this,” muttered a red-haired demon. He was dressed like Billy Idol but his rosy cheeks undercut the attempt at an edgy look. “Did you fight them or not?”

“I fought them!” Milmont replied indignantly. “I had a knife—”

“Paring or bread?”

“—and I swung at the older one’s neck.”

One of the demons standing in the shadows noted aloud, “Swung means a miss. You got your ass kicked.”

The stoat demon flustered a bit before reluctantly explaining, “He shot me in the chest with rock salt and hit me in the face with his gun—”

“You fell on your ass,” guessed the red-headed demon.

“The younger brother can perform an exorcism really fast,” Milmont said while shifting, jostling the box of spiders.

“You shouldn’t have gone after them,” said the brutish leader of the group. “You’re too weak.”

The stout demon glared as he hissed, “I have every right to go after the prey I choose. I’m allowed to prove myself!” He waved his hand at the rest of the room as he asked, “How many of you have been exorcised by them? If you’re here bitching about the Winchesters on your weekly one-hour break, yeah, I’m guessing they made you look like an idiot too.”

Several of the demons nodded in acknowledgement of the point or murmured agreement. The leader let out a small grumble as he reached into an open crate next to him. He pulled out an unlabeled bottle containing reddish-tawny liquid, then yanked the black cork from it with his teeth. After taking a swig, he handed it to Milmont.

“Corceo.” The stout demon toasted him before having a sip.

“You’re lucky that you were only exorcised,” the hollow-eyed woman told him while reaching out, wordlessly asking for a drink. Milmont passed it to her and she took a sip before continuing. “Rumor has it they possess the Colt.”

“Dajhila, they don’t have the Colt,” replied the demon with the bad arm. “I brawled with them ten days ago and they didn’t shoot me.”

“Maybe you aren’t worth the bullets?” jabbed the rosy-cheeked punk.

With her good hand, she picked a knife up off the ground and stabbed it into the wooden table in front of her, inviting him to fight.

Corceo, the leader, hit the table, drawing everyone’s attention. “Tisha, don’t carve Frey a new asshole. He has plenty already,” he joked, earning a chuckle from one of the demons watching from the wall. “The fact is that they had the gun. They killed Tom.”

“Tom was an idiot,” huffed Frey. “The only reason he wasn’t wading through viscera like the rest of us was because he was Azazel’s son.”

“Apparently he was attacking Sam, and Dean shot him,” Dajhila explained. “There were witnesses.”

Frey shrugged indifferently at Tom’s death. “Silver-spooned nepotist should’ve been the one to get his ass beat before he got shot.”

“I’m fine with the younger Winchester getting that bludgeoning,” interjected Tisha. She snarled, “You know that little shit is a psychic? I was so close to killing them. It took me three weeks to lure them to this abandoned insane asylum. I’d murdered twenty people in there—six hunters came before the brothers finally took the bait. That’s the shit I had to deal with in order to roll out the red carpet for those thick-brained, underwear-model-looking—“

“They aren’t that good looking,” said Milmont.

“They are,” countered Corceo. “Now let her finish or I’ll tear your fucking tongue out.”

Dajhila with the hollow eyes quietly said, “We should’ve kept the talking stick.”

Frey held up the pointy, splintered remains of a blood-stained wooden dowel that had evidently been used to stab someone. The woman shrugged, conceding that it had worked better in theory than in practice. The red-haired demon tossed it aside, grabbed the bottle of alcohol from where it had settled on the table, then gestured to their current storyteller.

Tisha waited a beat to see if anyone would interrupt her before continuing. “I swear on my life, that Sam kid really is a psychic. They knew it was a trap. I’m sitting there with a semi-automatic rifle—I’m not fucking around—and all of a sudden the sprinklers are raining holy water.” Her lips curled downward at the memory as she snarled, “Sam used a megaphone from the parking lot to exorcise me. I only got to see their faces as my cloud was getting dragged back down.”

“Jesus,” exhaled Frey. “A megaphone… and you had a rifle.”

“What weapon did you go after them with?” asked Tisha.

He thought for a moment before finally admitting, “A big rock.” Everyone stared at him for a moment, then burst into laughter, so he added, “Sometimes simple is best. We’re stronger than them and there was a big rock right there that I could throw— It was a tactical decision.”

“With genius thinking like that, it’s no wonder we can’t catch a break against them,” said Corceo.

Dajhila commented, “The only good news is that the dad, John, he died two months ago.”

“John Winchester, hunter savante— That piece of shit finally dropped?” Milmont looked around, eyes wide with excitement. “What did ‘im in?”

“I do not know.” The hollow-eyed woman crossed her bony arms. “Margot, down in processing, says his file is classified, but it is there.”

Frey leaned forward with interest. “File— We got him? Fucker isn’t playing a harp?”

“In the pit as we speak,” she replied smuggly. “Rumor is that Alastair’s working him personally.”

“Alastair?” asked Corceo. “They’re breaking out the Grand Torturer himself for a Winchester?”

Tisha nodded slowly to herself as she put together a few pieces. “Well, he is classified.”

The two women silently observing from their place on the iron maiden exchanged a knowing glance. The one in leather subtly placed her hand on a bulge by her belt that was obscured by her jacket, but the woman in the white dress discreetly shook her head and gestured for her to wait. At the order, the younger demon gave a quick roll of her eyes before relaxing her posture. By the time they’d turned their attention back to the meeting, the conversation had switched back to discussing different methods of pursuing the still-living brothers.

“Dean is a hedonist,” commented Dajhila. “Take a meatsuit with a figure as an hourglass and lay yourself in his path.”

Tisha raised an eyebrow. “You really think he’s going to fall for something like that?”

“He’s young and proud.”

Tisha countered, “He’s a paranoid with low self-esteem—“

“Here we go,” muttered Milmont.

“—You all think they’re heroes out of a fucking Greek epic, but they’re just men—feeble, petty little things—“

“Little,” Frey scoffed. “Have you even seen them?”

Tisha slammed her fist on the table. “They are mortal children, too absorbed by their grief and self-pity—Yes, they are little, but that makes them paranoid, partially-psychic, sneaky cunts who use megaphones.” She paused a moment to look around the table at the others, then said, “And maybe they don’t have it now or maybe I wasn’t worth the bullets, but they know about the Colt. They know how to kill us— Kill, not exorcise.”

After a brief, pensive silence, Milmont asked, “When was the last time you heard of one of us getting killed? Cain going nuts and turning traitor? That was almost 150 years ago—Earth time.”

Corceo nodded. “Half the crew in my dungeon wasn’t even turned back then.�� The sniveling pups thought we were immortal until they heard the news: the fucking Winchesters killed Tom.”

There was a grumble of shared frustration at the indignity. Humans had managed to kill demons, for the first time in over a century—and the bastards hadn’t even had the decency to stick around long enough to be killed in return.

“We have to stop them,” said Milmont quietly.

Frey scoffed. “Have you been listening or are ya’ as dense as iron?”

“Oh, choke on a ball of blades,” Tisha hissed.

The red-haired demon waved his arms, sarcastically miming fear.

“Save it. The enemy is up there.” Corceo waited to see if anyone would interrupt, then continued. “I’m tired of all this theatrical, solo bullshit. We murder them in their sleep. If they salt the door, we use guns. If they ward the building, burn it down. Fucking drive an oil tanker truck into them—this is war. So how do we find them?”

Milmont replied, “Since their dad died, my denmate, Bahshin, spotted them a few times with another hunter: male, middle-aged, reddish-brown greying hair and beard, baseball cap, one of those grizzled sorts.”

Tisha nodded. “I know the one. His name is Bobby—don’t know the last name. I’ve run into him and his partner a few times. He sticks to the north central U.S. Rural looking, lots of plaid. He had an old truck.”

“Fucking hick hunters,” muttered Frey.

The woman in leather sitting along the wall wordlessly withdrew a small notebook and pen from her pocket, then wrote down, “Margot: soul processing department grunt,” and “Bahshin: den-dweller, has an Earth pass.”

Corceo eyed the two silent newcomers from his place at the table. “Taking notes? Dainty little things like you gonna go gunning for the big bad Winchesters?” He laughed. “Well get in fucking line. You come here, don’t say shit, and crib off our hard work— How close have you come to offing them? What makes you so cocky you’re gonna be the ones to kill the bastards?”

The woman with the notepad gestured to her partner, inviting her to address the challenge. The demon in white stood up and smiled, unconcerned by the hostile attitude of the others in the room.

“We haven’t tried to kill them,” she replied. “And we have a plan, the likes of which history has never seen.”

“Ready to shared with the class?” Frey asked. “What brilliant plan are you two peons gonna try?”

“We’re gonna give them what they really want.”

Corceo’s eyes passed over the two women. “A pair of eager-to-please blondes in suggestive clothes?”

The woman in the white dress corrected him. “The only one we’re eager to please is our lord, Lucifer.”

A few of the demons chuckled at the absurd statement. Lucifer was a fairytale, as much as God and angels were to the humans.

“I’ll bite.” Corceo’s mouth curled into an amused grin, punctuated by the occasional barbed fangs. “What are you gonna give them?”

“We’re gonna make them heroes.”

The demons around the table laughed outright at the reply.

“You’re going to make them heroes? Those hunter bastards know about the Colt. They killed Tom. They’ve been exorcising us.” He placed his hands on the table and stood up, ready to confront them. “The Winchesters aren’t scared of us—not the way they should be. We’re demons. That still means something. So I don’t know what crazy scheme you’re thinking up, but it isn’t happening. They don’t get to be heroes. They die.”

“They’ll die when we—” She gestured to her partner “—say they die.”

“Looks like we have something of a race on our hands.” Cerceo walked up to her and stood so that they were only a few inches apart. A head taller than her, he glared down at her before hissing, “You think you can beat me to them?”

Her eyes turned white, causing his jaw to drop. “Child you’re busy boasting and we’re on step fifteen.” Lilith waved her right hand, locking the door to the room. In a quick backhanding gesture, she threw Corceo against the far wall, then turned to look at her companion. “Ruby.”

Ruby stood up and smiled as she drew her knife from the holster on her belt. She systematically worked her way through the room, killing the others while her partner held them in place with telekinesis. Afterward, she placed the bodies on the table, then rested her palms on the topmost corpse. A few lines of Aramaic later, blue flame engulfed the bodies, destroying the evidence.

While watching the fire, Lilith asked, “Is Meg ready?”

“She’s still running recon on the other children. In terms of pressure points so far: four have lovers, eight of them are close to a parent, and we have a few like Sam where the sibling could be an incentive. As of yesterday, she was watching the stoner with imprinting telepathy to figure out his achilles’ heel.” Ruby wiped her bloody blade on the sleeve of her jacket to clean it while asking, “Did you take care of Crowley?”

“I encouraged several of his aides to let a few deals lapse. Numbers are down. He’s dying to get a big deal.” Lilith looked at her. “The second Dean Winchester’s soul comes across his desk, he’ll sign off on the contract just to get his name on something. The grubby-fingered broker didn’t check the fine print on John; why should the son be any different? I’ll hold Dean’s contract and the moment he bites it, he’ll get expedited delivery to Alastair’s dungeon. No official processing. No gossip—” She gestured to the smoldering remains of the demon who had accidentally outed Margot as a leak in the processing department. “—No mistakes this time.”

Ruby huffed an unamused laugh. “The two of us sure as hell won’t have time to clean up any messes once this show gets rolling. Round one we could afford to have things go a little sideways. Once we pop up on Sam’s radar, that’s it. We’re in, and I’m not coming back downstairs on a fucking milk run.”

“It will all turn out,” Lilith assured her. “Our lord wills his return. He cannot be denied.”

Ruby didn’t reply to the pious statement. Instead she studied the charred racks in front of them. “I know he’s your mentor and we couldn’t have done this without him, but Azazel can’t survive this. You know that, right?”

Lilith nodded. “When he finishes aligning his pawns, he’ll throw the fight. He knows how important it is that Sam’s anger be directed solely at me. That means clearing the field for the next generation of nemeses.”

“Don’t worry,” Ruby placed her hand on her partner’s shoulder. “When I’m done with him, Sam will be foaming at the mouth to kill you.”

“I envy you,” Lilith sighed. “You’ll live to see our lord. It’s going to be beautiful.”

--------------

If you enjoyed this story, check out my Sam/Ruby Fic Masterlist or my Full Fic Masterlist.

#my fic #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn #supernatural #spn ruby #ruby #lilith

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ssr-moonlore · 5 years

Text

In Depth Profile of Gretz

This is going to go VERY deep and very much into Main Story Quest Spoiler Territory so I’m gonna put the unnecessary stuff under a read more.

Full name: Unknown, She hasn’t given out that information. Race: Erune, techincally a Revenant. Elemental Attunement: Water Occupation: Captain of the Grandcypher, Mage, but can probably beat most people in a sword fight. Charge Attack names: Originally “Lainetav Meri” then becomes “Vaikne Ookean” Parents: Both parents are Erune, Father is from Zinkenstill, Mother from Lumacie. Mother died at giving birth, father is currently in Estalucia. Siblings: Twin sister, deceased.

Aaaand the rest can go into a Read More because this is where things go very detailed and I’m not gonna clog the tag with my ramblings! This is basically her backstory, and parts of the MSQ retold to fit Gretz

I’m gonna warn you all now that this is a brainfart and probably badly written because there’s like... facts and story and it’s all written like a mess, but hopefully explains enough.

So... I suppose the story should start from the beginning. Gretz’s father was an incredible mage and the leader of his own skyfarer crew, and he started young, younger than Gretz when she began her journey. Somewhere along the way, Gretz’s father met Margrite, a rather plain Erune woman from Lumacie. The two fell in love but her father kept the relationship a secret. Before long, Margrite found out she was pregnant, and out of the blue, Gretz’s father disbanded his crew and hid with Margrite and wanted to simply start a family with her.

Things went horribly wrong, however, when both Margrite and one of the twins perished during birth. The circumstances were strange, they simply started failing, and even though Gretz’s father was very well versed with healing magic, to the point where he could bring someone back from the bring and regrow their limbs... his magic didn’t catch. Nothing he, or any of the other healers did could save Gretz’s mother or twin. Margrite’s soul was beyond saving, but a little sliver of the dead twin’s essence was still there, and the father managed to grab onto it.

Gretz’s father stayed with Margrite’s family for a while, until his guilt got overbearing, and he decided to go back home, to his mother’s home. Things were quite relaxed for many years, Gretz grew up strong, and wasn’t really bothered by the fact that she didn’t have a mother. Her dad never mentioned the twin.

He taught her magic, and passed down his ability to cast magic without any arcane instruments, but instructed Gretz to never show that ability to anyone. She never truly understood why this type of magic had to be kept secret, but she played along.

When she was 8, her father’s crew had tracked him down, and much to his dismay, they were incredibly angry and wanted him to get back into skyfaring. Gretz was instructed to hide, her presence was to be kept a secret from the crew, who would otherwise want her to join was well, given that she was HIS daughter, and probably inherited his powers. So Gretz hid. She hid until her grandmother came to fetch her and Vyrn, and so Gretz was left without her father. The little girl was left grief stricken, being only told that she will find something very important when she was ready.

So she stayed there on Zinkenstill until at the age of 21, she saw the girl with the blue hair falling from the sky, and her fate was sealed. She valiantly defended this strange girl, only to be struck down by a hydra. In the process her soul tied with Lyria’s, but another entity was brought into the mix. A terrifying fighter spirit with an opposing power to Gretz’s, the ability to void magic utterly. Gretz would not find out about this other spirit until much later, when stakes would grow bigger and lives were endangered more, but until then, she, Vyrn, Lyria and Kat went on to create a skyfarer crew.

Most of the story follows the main story quest, bar for a few differences, most notably, when Not Gretz appears. She’d appear any time when Lyria would be sure to get hurt, other times when things seem hopeless for Gretz. Her body remained the same but the aura surrounding the Erune was different, cold, devoid of joy. Her mannerism was harsh, sarcastic, almost evil. Most of the time, the crew would spare any people who got in their way, opting to convince them to take a better walk of life, but not this person. With impossible precision and immense power and speed, a jagged spear would cut down all who dared to harm the Red Dragon or the Girl in Blue, or even the vessel herself. These “possessions” were short, but left Gretz a mess for several days. The scar on her stomach that almost ripped her in half that would never fade no matter how hard she tried to get rid of it would tear open, crippling her. They would all inevitably heal, but it seemed that whatever shared Gretz’s body had a vendetta against her and wanted to make it obvious to everyone.

As the crew land on Lumacie, they take on a job to clear out an old cemetery that’d been overrun, and Gretz comes across a very familiar name. That leads to her getting a little hint to her other grandparents, and she tracks them down. The old pair receive her warmly, shocked at how much she looks like her father but having her mother’s eyes, never saying anything bad about her father and that her mother’s death was just an unfortunate situation but wasn’t anyone’s fault. Gretz then keeps regular correspondence with her mother’s parents, and is happy to have found more family.

The next most important event happens after the crew flees Lumacie following their defeat at the hands of a corrupted Yggdrasil. They go to Zinkenstill, where they find that Gretz’s paternal grandmother had passed, leaving her shaken to the core. The crew presses on though, determined to save the islands from the Empire. At the shrine, Vyrn falters, prompting Sturm to raise her weapons at him, only to be swiftly swatted to the side violently by a powerful black spear. Not Gretz takes on the agent duo, her antimagic nature completely cripping Drang and pinning Sturm against a tree with her own swords, though not killing them outright, as “it would interfere with The Other too much.” Before having the shit utterly beaten out of him, Drang did manage to find out who the spirit was, though only cryptically being told that she was “the one who never made it.”

The assault was cut short as Furias’ invasion of the island was deemed far more interesting a fight for the entity. The invasion didn’t last, and soon everyone would return to the ship for a rest, Not Gretz relinquishing control of the body back to Gretz just so she could see the injured Drang and Sturm drag themselves back onto the ship. Needless to say, Gretz, feeling like a monster, attempted to hide from shame, only to pass out from her stomach being ripped open again.

The healers all scrambled to get her back whole again, and no major injuries except for Gretz’s pride. The following morning, before the sun would crest the mountains, she managed to drag herself out of her bedroom, and tip toed off the ship, silently, not telling anyone. Vyrn, however, seemed to know something was off and found her, weeping at her grandmother’s grave, and suggested that the two go and do a favourite early morning passtime of theirs. The two quietly went onto a hill, and Gretz began to call out. Her voice sorrowful, but the echo in the mountains beautiful, and after a moment they’d hear the typical clanging of cow bells as the herd ran over to inspect the calls.

The two of them were followed by another pair. By Drang’s suggestion, he and Sturm followed the captain to see what she’d do, ghosting around like that, all mysterious. It didn’t take long for Gretz to notice, and in her weakened state, she became petrified and convinced the two would want revenge. A little slip on the wet dewy grass left her tumbling off a steep hill and straight into a fencepost and she felt a bit too weak and in pain to do anything so she simply curled up and started to weep. Drang and Sturm, both taken aback at this display of vulnerability rush up to her and Drang offers a little healing to close up the cut on her forehead, Sturm simply propping her up. Gretz, confused and scared simply starts rambling about how she thought they’d kill her. The agents shook their heads and deny that being their goal, though Drang wants to know more about the entity in her.

Upon hearing the phrase that the entity is the one who “didn’t make it” Gretz realized that the entity could be none other than her deceased twin, though she then became even more confused as to how her twin who died at birth would have those abilities. One question answered, 10 more now taking it’s place.

After cleaning herself up a bit, Gretz spots a strange glint in the distance, in the middle of the field. Squinting at it, she spots a familiar relic, her father’s staff. Though weak, and hurting, and confused, her legs simply begin to move and she recovers the staff. The stone in the middle shining just as bright at she remembered it.

The 4 return to the ship, where the rest of the crew is restless and panicking looking for their captain. Relieved to find her unharmed, the crew quiets down, though Gretz now has a new resolve to go and save Yggdrasil, so after Vyrn releases whatever the hell was in the shrine, the crew goes to face the menace.

During that fight, it seems quite hopeless but Gretz manages to unleash magic to a crazy amount. Her innate spellcasting meant that she didn’t need tools to cast magic, but she remembers that she can siphon magic in from other sources than just herself. After basically destroying several staves and tools by sucking out all the magic and basically almost turning herself into a being of pure mana, she manages to get a hit strong enough to defeat Yggdrasil, but then immediately gets slammed full force into a rock cliff by one of the snake tentacles. Her spell took away all noise in the area and the sickening crack of her body hitting the rock face was more than enough to make the whole crew imagine the worst.

Luckily, being made of pure magic meant that in that state her body was basically unable to die from injuries, though she immediately requested help to fix her numerous broken bones. Lyria was NOT allowed to see the body. Everyone else still has nightmares.

After that... The crew follows the main story aside from a few minor differences, but Gretz accepts the whole “Singularity” business pretty well but then realizes that she really DID cause the deaths of her mother and sister. Lyria manages to pacify the spirit, and Emmeliine is given an official position in the crew, and Gretz no longer gets torn up every time a possession takes place. The crew are looking into getting a golem made for Emmeliine so she and gretz can exist in the physical realm at the same time. Em is still very spicy and mean, but no longer AS murderous. She’s still able to beat the shit out of the crew.

I hope??? These ramblings make sense?? I wanted to make a comic of this but my hand hurts and in fic format it’d take too long.

Yes my self-insert is a fucking Mary Sue with Deep Issues and a Dead Twin Ghost Spirit whatcha gonna do about it.

#Captain Gretz #The Turquoise Captain #Long Post #Gretz is 57 levels of fucked up #she just wants to find her dad #and her dad didn't want to leave home and leave her behind #Gretz's Dad is Good

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happytreasure · 6 years

Note

Can you do a hc where Eddie drops and Richie is there to take care of him?

Sure! actually a lot of people have been interested in this so i’ll give some in depth hcs!! i also might include it in a future installment.

hng also sorry it took so long! although it lowkey turned into an essay lmao

eddie fully drops for the first time after the second heat he tries to get pregnant and fails

he feels like a horrible omega and partner

esp bc he’s the reason they can’t get pregnant bc being on suppressants fucked him up

after his heat finishes he just kind of instinctively knows he’s not pregnant

like before he always knew bc he was on birth control

but something tells him he’s failed

and when a the test confirms it he just kinda breaks down

it fully hits him one day when he sees richie playing with bev and ben’s kid

bc richie is just so good w kids

and eddie knows he really wants to be a dad

and eddie does too, so it really upsets him that he can’t get pregnant

and he starts thinking like really negatively

“i’m an omega all we’re fucking good for is being bred but i can’t even do that right”

“why would he want to stay with someone who’s broken”

“i wonder if he regrets mating me my first heat when he thought i could have pups”

and like one day he fucking snaps after watching richie carry bevs pup on his shoulders, doing one of his voices as the kid screams with laughte

he says he doesn’t feel good and goes to bed early

and he just sits in the corner of the room and his mind/instincts just start eating away at him

he starts getting so deep in his thoughts he doesn’t even know he’s dropping

it’s just on loop “you’re a horrible omega”

“your alpha is disappointed in you”

“he’s gonna leave you”

and he just kinda drifts into this lightheaded state

meanwhile richie has brought the kid to the store pick up some ice cream

(richie is easily manipulated by kids)

and his mate mark stars to hurt

and like he rushes home and hands the kid of to stan and demands to know where eddie is

and mike’s just like “he said he was tired and went to bed”

richie sprints to the bedroom

and eddie’s just sitting in the corner tears streaming down his face, knees pulled to his chest

and the minute richie smells how distressed he is his heart breaks

and eddie is just consumed by the drop so he starts sobbing when he realizes riches near him

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m a horrible omega, i’m sorry”

and richie just wants to fucking hug him and and tell him he’s amazing but eddie keeps flinching when he approaches him

“I’m sorry, alpha, im sorry i’m not good, i’m sorry i can’t get pregnant,”

immediately richie’s trying to stop this nonsense “i don’t care about that”

“you want kids, but i can’t even give you that, what kind of omega can’t be bred?”

and richie is so upset hearing his mate talk like this, and at this point talking him down is doing nothing

“i’m useless alpha, you should find another mate because im damaged”

and richie actually growls at that

which he regrets bc eddie whimpers

and richie’s immediately apologizing and promising he’s not mad but eddie’s just staring straight ahead and crying

and richie’s freaking out bc eddie’s fully dropped by this point and it’s extremely dangerous for an omega to be in drop

and he’s fucking panicking bc he doesn’t want to agitate eddie more but he also can’t leave him like this

eddie’s starting to hyperventilate and richie’s like “fuck fuck fuck”

suddenly he hears stan’s voice behind him

“richie use your alpha voice, he’s not gonna listen otherwise”

and it’s only then richie realizes the entire pack is standing in the doorway looking on in worry

and richie’s like “no! that’s a horrible thing to do!”

but all the pack is agreeing

richie doesn’t want to come to terms w the fact that eddie’s dropped so far he won’t respond to anything unless richie makes do so biologically

and richie finally gives in and says “omega”

and he’s never used his alpha voice before so it’s a bit shaky

it doesn’t sound different form his regular voice but it holds so much more power

and richie hates it, he firmly believes its some archaic biological left over like the appendix

eddie immediately responds to the voice and richie feels like throwing up bc his movements are so robotic and forced

and just says “yes alpha?” and he’s so expressionless

and richie’s voice is so watery but he’s trying to sound strong

“i need you to calm down right down, i need you to take a deep breath”

and eddie instantly takes a deep breath but it’s rushed

and richie starts making him copy his breathing until he stops hyperventilating

but eddie still staring straight ahead

and richie’s like “i’m not made at you eddie”

and there’s a flicker of pain on eddie’s face “i’m a bad omega, i’m a bad omega and my alpha should leave me”

and richie is trying so hard to stay calm

“your alphas not gonna leave you”

“you’re a good omega”

“and i’m not mad at you”

and eddie’s just sitting there digging his fingernails into his forearm bc his alpha is telling him one thing but his instincts disagree

“you’re scaring me, eds”

“i’m sorry!”

“hey hey it’s okay, can i touch you?”

and eddie furrows his brows bc richie asked for permission in his alpha voice and his instincts don’t know how to make sense of that

“you’re my alpha, you can do whatever you want”

and richie’s breath hitches bc the response seems so forced

he immediately talks to him normally,

“eddie can i touch you?”

and there’s a small nod

and richie slowly crawls up next to him and rests his back against the wall

but eddie makes no move to get closer

he tenses when he’s dragged into richie’s lap but let’s it happen

he immediately buries his face in richie’s neck and richie tries desperately to make sure he smells calming and not distressed

eddie’s just sitting in his lap, tense with his arms resting on richie’s chest, fingers clenching and unclenching like he wants to hold on

and richie’s just like “you can touch me, baby”

and eddie melts into him

and richie just holds him close and pets his hair

“you’re amazing, eddie, i couldn’t ask for a better mate”

“you mean the world to me”

“i wouldn’t dream of leaving you”

“i’ll still love you even if we can’t have kids”

“i love you so much, baby”

and eddie just stays silent, coming down from his drop

and eventually he just whispers “chee?”

and richie starts tearing up

“fuck eddie i was so fucking scared, baby, please, please don’t ever do that again”

and eddie’s like “i’m so sorry, i’m sorry”

“no you’ve done enough apologizing today”

“please just tell me the next time you feel upset or anything, i’m sorry i didn’t notice you were hurting and using my alpha voice”

and eddie promises to communicate better

and although it’s a traumatic experience they learn and grow from it

hope that’s what you wanted!!

#ask #anon #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #abo #omegaverse #mpreg #fever pitch fic #wasted fic #sweet talk series

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gaarfielf · 6 years

Text

k im gonna throw in my hot take on part 5 now i think the time has come where i’ve watched enough of the damn series i can make a coherent essay on whats what on what (putting it under a read more bc this shit is gonna be long and i dont want my followers to suffer too much)

I’ll do this character by character starting with the new ones

Ami: I’m having a hard time deciphering whether she’s being underutilized or over utilized because number 1) her character isn’t interesting enough to have her keep coming around, especially when her only connection to the group is Lupin. She hasn’t had any interaction with Goemon or Jigen that i know of and she hates Fujiko for ??? reasons. That being said, I would’ve preferred if she was fleshed out more because 2) literally having her be the distant girl that is quiet and doesn’t understand social norms is..... really boring. It’s almost as boring as having a female character whose only there as a set of boobs... (coughs). She isn’t interesting because they didn’t make her interesting, yeah? It’s hard to hate a character based on the fact alone they were clearly written by a man but I mean it very literally when I say she could’ve been something great. Having her confess her love to Lupin was straight up disgusting and I really expected more from tms in that vein. Putting romance where romance doesn’t need to be is bad enough let alone when you jack knife it in between a child and an adult. And for those of you saying ‘Oh hhhh she’s like nineteen’....look into your heart. Even if she is 1) she sure as hell doesn’t look it and 2) Lupin is like 40-50. In the wise words of me, children loving adults was a myth made up by pedophiles in support of the devil. Npot to mention pitting her against Fujiko because they both like Lupin?? I ain’t even gotta explain why that’s a pathetic excuse at writing. But I will. Fujiko is a grown ass woman so why the fuck would she care and Ami is a child who shouldn’t be in love with him anyway. She has truly been nothing in the series except a tool and even at that not a likable one.

Yata: Do I even have to say that I can’t write anything about a man who hasn’t had more than 4 minutes of screen time in the last 24 episodes? He was hyped up before the series started and he’s done nothing but be Zenigata’s personality in the place of Zenigata y’know. Actually speaking and having one for himself BUT WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER. He’s done nothing but yell and cry over literally nothing? Like he fights Zeni’s fights because for some reason Zenigata got super lazy this season (again, we’ll get into that later) and he’s just a pointless character.

Albert: Gay rep for life haha just kidding he was bad at that too. I think they literally introduced him as faux-gay rep because they know the fans wanted more sensitive interactions from their already existing male cast members and they were like ‘well that’s gay so we’ll give them this guy’. And speaking on behalf of myself - ‘I don’t want these’. So Albert shows up, supposedly having a HUGE connection to Lupin’s past and then............we never see him again. And they literally tell us nothing about him except he’s gay and works in the government. Apparently when we say ‘we want gay rep’ they hear ‘very minor gay character??’ and didn’t hear us say ‘no’ back. And every time I hear anyone say 1) ‘well, his connection to Lupin is supposed to be a mystery!’ I can feel hives growing on my skin because i’m allergic to bullshit like if they weren’t gonna tell us the connection, and whatever the connection is didn’t reveal anything new about the character outside of ‘Lupin knew somebody that wasn’t Jigen when he was younger’ then why?? mention it?? why make an entire arc dedicated to not telling us something if the end result was ‘it doesn’t matter who he is’? 2) ‘well they’re obviously cousins’ except they obviously aren’t. if they obviously were, they’d say that they were cousins. like if y’all are digging up bits of the manga from 40 years ago to say ‘there was a character who had the same last name’ but are also out here saying ‘Jigen doesnt have a sister bc they said that over 40 yers ago and haven’t mentioned it since’ then I ain’t got nothing to say to y’all, you’re just dodgy and ain’t worth the stress of talking to. 3) ‘they’re maybe gay’ well the cool thing about gay rep is that we don’t give honourary mentions out for series that were too cowardly to actually come right out and say it. So in conclusion, Albert was written by cowards who couldn’t decide what to do with him.

Enzo: Boring. That’s literally all I have to say. Trying to give him depth by making Ami his daughter was predictable and not at all interesting. To be honest I completely forgot she was looking for her dad anyway because she didn’t seem to care that much about finding him either (or seem to care about anythign really). He’s a shitty villain and every time he speaks I got my finger on the right-key because I don’t care what he has to say and so far I haven’t missed anything good so yeah. Just disappointing.

I think that’s it??? For new characters?? So I’ll move onto the main cast

Jigen: I 👏 WANT 👏 JIGEN 👏 TO 👏 DO 👏 SOMETHING like good fucking God the man hasn’t done anything this whole series up until 24 where he got 5 minute scene dedicated to him killin’ cops (direct action) but like?? As a character he hasn’t progressed he has BARELY spoken and we’ve learned one new thing about him the whole series in the episode where he meets the daughter of a woman he used to work with. And that one thing that we learned was: he used to work with the mother of this girl. That’s it. Episode 24 he got a little bit of dialog with Lupin that I guess was supposed to be like character development but it was so weird because it was kind of directed at the audience?? So it’s like is he talking to me or to Jigen because if I was Jigen I would not have one goddamn clue what he was talking about. Also, he’s so depressing this season?? Right up until now we’ve seen very little personality from him aside from Angry and Complains a Lot. He smiles sometimes sure but like he doesn’t exactly have a lot to smile about this season considering he’s not really in the limelight anymore and is only brought back to foreshadow how much he hates technology and wants to retire. Personally, Jigen is one of my favourite characters and the fact he hasn’t achieved much this series is a big let-down

Goemon: I can’t even imagine how let down Goemon fans feel because again, up until Episode 23 he did nothing. He had an episode where he fell in love?? With a girl?? Disguised as a woman?? For some reason?? It was in one of the throwbacks and I’ll admit that maybe the episode made sense and I probably missed something but to me I had no clue what was going on. ANYWAY like his big scene in the spotlight is 3 episodes before the end of the series (its not like he’s a main character or anything) and he cuts Lupin. Because he thinks that he isn’t really his friend. That’s it that’s the only reason he almost murders his friend. Just kidding the other reason was that it was a half ass attempt at shock value to make sure the audience was still paying attention. They can’t seem to decide this season whether they want Goemon to be edgy or stupid but I think we’ve gotten a greta big helping of both so thanks tms /sarcasm/. They’ve really just dragged his character through the mud this season because he used to be stoic, mysterious, traditionalist but lowkey clumsy guy and then now he’s. I don’t even know how to describe it he’s just become so cutesy and edgy at the same time so we get him cutting Lupin in half right in front of UwU i eat my fish skin first ! I’m quirky ! like what am I supposed to feel about this grown man? He’s really too back-and-forth for me this season

Fujiko: I’M GONNA GET HEATED ABOUT THIS ONE SO BUCKLE UP I’ve never seen Fujiko written this poorly since TWCFM (yes i’m outting that as a bad series too so don’t @ me about that lil tidbit). She’s there as a piece of eyecandy bUT SHE IS SO POORLY DRAWN IT MAKES ME WONDER IF ANYBODY AT TMS HAS EVER SEEN A WOMAN IN THEIR LIFE TIME. Seriously her proportions are so off and outwardly repulsive looking it makes it hard not to skip anything she says in the series on account of how half-ass her character looks. Not limiting herself to being visually repulsive, she also has a half-ass personality. Suddenly Fujiko isn’t the come-and-go as she pleases, mysterious woman that gives Lupin intel on very high security operations she’s just. There. At some point in the series she said ‘a woman’s body is just a tool to get something she needs’ and I wanted to puke this is NOT Fujiko’s character at all and I’m disgusted that they’re brushing her off as a pair of walking talking boobs. Also her absolute lack of empathy is just mind numbing because they’re somehow trying to convince the audience that Lupin broke her heart due to wedding related reasons that still haunt her but? Seeing him cut almost in half does nothing for her? And then she deadpan ‘This is just how it is’ like this is just putting her in such an evil light that I hate because I love Fujiko! In every other season she’s fighty and sarcastic and witty AND NOT JUST THERE FOR EYE CANDY. And going back to the wedding thing, why is this being made into such a big deal? There’s literal episodes in other seasons called ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Look Right in a Wedding Dress’ ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Want to Be Married’ ‘A Ring Is Like a Trap’ like she 👏 don’t 👏 want 👏 to 👏 be 👏 married 👏. And the preview for the next ep shows her in a wedding dress so I’m ultimately preparing myself for the big season finale being them getting married.

hurray.

Final thought on Fujiko being, the episode where she picks up Lupin to save him from succumbing to his crossbow wound (easily the funniest thing thats happened all season) I mean. Yeah it’s kinda cool. I don’t really have any strong feelings about that like I’m not about to praise them for something like that when it was immediately followed by her and Ami slap fighting over him again.

Lupin: In my days of watching Lupin movies/specials my slogan was ‘if the ratio of screen time in the movie between characters is 10:0 in Lupin’s favour then it ain’t a good movie’ and it’s ringing true to this season where it’s all about Lupin. I understand obviously it’s a series called Lupin III like I’m not stupid but the amount of ass kissing to his character is something else like they’re putting him on this huge pedestal like he’s a do-no-wrong kind of guy to the point where he’s boring because he’s done nothing wrong. Ever. He doesn’t argue with anybody he doesn’t have any strong emotions really (outside of that episode where Zenigata loses his memory we see him outwardly angry for a minute). It just makes him such a dry character when they try to mold him into being absolutely flawless and admirable. Also the amount of faking his own death and ‘oh no is he gonna die’ moments are just not entertaining. Like I said earlier when he got shot with the crossbow that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long long time. It played like an SNL skit (you know what one). And again we aren’t learning anything new. Whose Albert to him!? We never got to know, What’s his relationship to Fujiko!? We’re probably gonna find out they’re getting married last episode after all the touching moments they had together this season like.... like uh.... when they uh... oh right they’ve barely spoken to each other all season. And when they did they were arguing. Love is in the air huh?

Zenigata: AI’ll try to keep this brief but Yata’s taken over his character this season. He’s barely spoken, he has like, NO energy or determination. After the episode where Lupin faked his death (the first time, not the proceeding 90 times) Zenigata just stopped appearing and stopped doing anything productive. If anything his character became an excuse for an info dump. Like oh we see a war torn area whats going on? Zenigata is conveniently nearby to say ‘these people are at war!’ and then outside character will tell a 18 paragraph history on him of whose at war and their history and then Zenigata says ‘okay’ and doesn’t appear again for the next 2 episodes.

Now for the closing thoughts I guess

i don’t know why they’re looking at Lupin having plot as separate from Lupin being episodic. Like they’ve separated him from adventure so he’s just doing the same things over and over again. Not to mention like I said earlier, the fans wanted to see more sensitive interactions between the already existing characters, and if anything, they’re farther apart and just really confusing and contradictory. It’s hard to get through an episode when every week its another ‘great time for another plot arc they’re never gonna finish’. When I watched episodes of Part 1 and 2 and 4 (not so much 3 because i can’t find anywhere to watch it lol) I’m pretty attentive all the way through because the series drops tidbits of information about the characters and they make the episode enjoyable to watch. This season is so dreary and dry I can’t find anything to enjoy about it because it’s just one disappointment after another. I’m trying to to sound bitchy as I type all this out but I mean I’m speaking as a fan who is just really disappointed. I know I’ve said ‘disappointed’ a lot in this whole thing but there isn’t another word to describe it because that’s really the way that I feel about part 5. Seeing my favourite characters on screen is supposed to make me feel happy and excited to see where they’re gonna go and what they’re gonna do not make me think “I hope they don’t ruin this character for me’ in every. single. episode. This season has been underwhelming, unenjoyable, inconsistent and just really exhausting to me overall.

i gotta go eat now so peace out and if you read to the end of all this then hopefully i’m not the only one in this boat but if you don’t agree with me then i guess thats just how it is yeah?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the callbacks were cool at first but now I just find they’re baiting me into thinking i’ll enjoy the episode because i’ll find something I liked from one of the better seasons in it. They’re just really overused at this point because these callbacks aren’t being used for anything. like ‘lupin is making his plan at the cagliostro castle!’ like. why. ‘detective melon is also angry at lupin!’ but if she isn’t like teaming up with zenigata or actually doing anything to find him why should i care.

#lupin iii #this aint fun so if you are feelin fighty dont read this

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anticapitalistmami · 6 years

Text

A post about being a woman, not lifter related I’m sorry

We have two cats, a small shy female, and a large energetic rough male. He chases her and jumps on her and play fights with her alllllll day and she hates it. My mama and I saw another ambush attack this morning and my dad chimed in “why does he always do that? Haha” my mother joked “because he’s a man and he’s in charge!” Jokingly. I added “because it’s a mans world and hec (female cat) is just livin in it” all light hearted and somewhat jokingly. My dad paused and got upset, “look stop it I’ve had enough”, “....of what?” I asked. “Of you and your mother always making jokes about men all the time, I hear her do it all day and you as well”.

Something in me snapped. But I didn’t say anything, I let him walk off in a huff feeling un-rightly offended.

Oh, you’ve had enough papa? Of jokes against men? You’re tired of hearing it huh? Hmm.

Im tired too. I’m tired of it too. I’m tired of opening a magazine and seeing Womens bodies used as a way to sell perfume or hamburgers or beer. I’m tired of seeing footballers on tv making jokes about women (when they’re not being charged for raping and beating us), like the footballer who said on national television that “the doctor should just fiddle with her to induce labour” when referring to his co-players wife who is pregnant, while the entire group of men sat there laughing.

I’m tired of going on Facebook and seeing posts from “the tasteless gentlemen, milo yianniopolous, Chris Brown, xxxtencacion, dan bilzarian etc” promoting and encouraging hate and assault against women.

I’m tired of being leered at by men at the gym, I’m tired of men in cars slowing down as they drive past when I’m out for a walk. I’m tired of my male friends not genuinely being my friend, and always saying something suggestive to me. Or outright touching me or kissing me, like this whole time they just spent time with me to try and fuck me when I thought we were just good platonic buddies.

Im tired of the flashbacks I have from the abuse and trauma my ex put me through. I’m tired of the subconscious conversations I still have with him in my mind when I wear something that shows a bit of skin, or I put a little bit of extra makeup on. “***y do you think YOU can pull that off? Only sluts wear that. Who are you trying to impress with makeup like that?” And worse.

I’m tired of feeling sick every time I think of what my “friend” did too me, when he said he’d drive me home, when he knew how much I’d had to drink, when he knew I’d taken a benzo, when he knew I couldn’t give consent.

I’m tired of turning on the television and seeing “Larissa (16) was in a half way house to escape and abusive boyfriend, when she met zlatko, and he brutally bashed her, stuffed her body in a barrel and put it on the back of his Ute” “Eurydice Dixon was walking home alone in the early morning when she was brutally raped and murdered and left in a park- this morning mourners have woken up to Eurydice Dixon’s park memorial vandalised” “the 11 year old girl was walking to school in New Castle this morning when she was held at knife point, sexually assaulted, dragged into a car and taken to a bush land location and raped for 5 hours”... and more. So much fucking more.

I’m tired of people laughing at, and discrediting the ability of New Zealand’s prime minister, because she is a woman. Because she was pregnant, and now the mother of a new Born.

I’m tired of people believing in and following Donald trump, the leader of the “free world”, I don’t even NEEEEED to go into detail there.

There’s so much more I could add here.

I’m tired of my father sharing feminist articles on Facebook and acting like a feminist ally, when he comes home and discredits the trauma of his own daughters and wife at the hands of men. Even at his hands. Sometimes he is on our side, sometimes he shuts us down and tells us we should have known better, been smarter, that we play the victim, that we want to be victims. That things we have experienced aren’t real, devaluing what we’ve dealt with because as a man he hasn’t noticed or experienced them. So we must be lying? We’re probably being over dramatic. We just have a grudge against men?

I’m tired of all of this papa. I’m tired of all the things I couldn’t even add to this. I’m tired of dealing with it every, fucking, day. And I’m tired of men laughing at us and telling us we are liars and making memes out of slaughtered women. I’m tired of men making light of the pain we go through, which in turn validates the men who do it. Making them think it’s okay cause it’s making other men laugh. I am fucking tired of it dad.

So excuse me, if sometimes women will make a joke at a mans expense. Because sometimes making a joke makes it seem a little less terrifying for us.

I’m sure you can fucking take a small joke at your expense. While women are out here every fucking minute of every fucking day dealing with the filth men do to us.

I haven’t even added the traumas of women of colour, women of oppressed countries and faith, because as a white woman I don’t think I can fully capture the depth of what they suffer. Or trans women. Or non-conventional women. But don’t get me wrong I appreciate and I value and I believe every single one of you. And if anyone has anything to add to this, what they’re tired of, feel free to add.

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in-love-and-jeph · 6 years

Note

💫 and uhhhhh playride and/or ned/conor

this was a bit longer than I wanted it to be also whoops it’s more friendship than actually shippy

Conor/Ned: Handsome Devil (2016)Buying Time: Great Big Sea

ao3 link

Ned woke up in the wee hours of the morning, pissed that he was going to be shuffling through the day like a zombie, when his internal train of complaints were stopped. Conor’s bed was empty. Now, if Ned had woken at a normal time, this wouldn’t be too concerning. Rugby practices often started before Ned got up. But, it was 5:30 in the morning. Conor was never gone this early. A small flash a panic hit him, but he pushed it down, choosing to look around for Conor before immediately turning to the dean. He might’ve just gone to the bathroom! Yeah. The bathroom. Ned’s thoughts slowed down to just a steady stream, and he sat down at his desk, sitting in the chair sideways so he was facing the door. He looked over at Conor’s desk, and noticed a note taped to the blank wall above the desk. He got up and ripped it off the wall. It read, “Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t run off. Don’t worry.” Ned let himself breathe for a minute, before deciding to go look for his friend. Tugging on his boots, he threw on a jacket and checked that his phone was in his back pocket, then left the room. For a minute, he contemplated just calling Conor, but he noticed Conor’s phone was still plugged in on his desk, so it would be fruitless.

It was a chilly morning. Dew was forming on the tips of the deep green grass, and the chill of the winter was only just leaving the air. The rising sun cast a pink and yellow glow on everything it touch, and the birds were only just starting to titter. Ned found Conor on the very edge of the school property, facing the rickety wooden fence and watching the cows on the other side graze. Ned sat down next to him, shelving the thought that his pants would be disgusting by the end of this in the depths of his mind for later. He leaned over and put his head on Conor’s shoulder and they stayed like that for a few minutes, watching the cows and feeling the rising sun beat down gently on their backs. After a while, Ned asked, “You okay?”

Conor took a deep breath in before responding. “I’m… I don’t know. My head is all mixed up. Nothing feels quite right.”

Ned sat upright and looked at Conor. He looked like a bloody disaster, his hair was a mess, limp and everywhere, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, like he’d been crying, and his jaw was set in the way that Ned could tell meant something was bothering him. “Whatever it is, d’ya wanna talk about it?” Ned asked. Alarm bells went off in his head. He had no idea what to do, it’s not like you’re taught how to deal with emotional turmoil, especially someone else’s, but it wasn’t like he could just leave Conor to deal with it. He was stuck at a weird crossroads, where he wanted to run away as fast as he could, but something inexplicable was keeping him there.

“ Inexplicable? ” The voice in his head jeered. “ Inexplicable, my ass. You know exactly what’s keeping you there. ” But Ned shut it down fast before it could get him to do anything stupid.

Lucky for Ned, Conor just sighed. “No, not right now. I… I think I just want to go back to our room.”

At the words ‘our room’, shivers ran down Ned’s spine. But he ignored it, just chalking it up to the chill in the air. “Good,” he replied, “‘Cause it’s fuckin’ freezin’ out here.”

In the next few days, Ned watched from afar as Conor seemed to disintegrate. But when Conor stopped going to class and practice, Ned took it upon himself to drag the issue out of him so they could at least deal with it. Watching Conor suffer silently like this hurt him more than he liked to admit.

So the next morning, Ned woke up to his alarm blaring at 7 am, and instead of turning it off, he let it scream on. He got up and made sure to be as loud as possible, and yanked open the blinds. Conor woke up, blinking, and obviously upset. “Ned, what the fuck?” He asked incredulously. “Well, Conny-boy, you’ve been sulking for the past week and-” Ned bent down in a squat next to Conor’s bed so they were at eye level. “We need to fix that.”

Conor just glared at him, so he muttered, “Fine,” and tried to pull Conor out of bed. He landed flat on his ass, and Conor was still lying comfortably in bed, although now he was smiling.

“Nice try,” Conor said. “You want to have another go?”

“Aw, fuck you,” was all Ned had to say in response. He glared at Conor, before remembering why he was doing this and softening his stare. “Please, Con. To be quite honest, I’m really worried about you.” He nearly wanted to gag at the words that had just come out of his mouth. That was so sappy! This was really weird. He never acted like this before. The part of his mind he liked to ignore wondered if it was all because of Conor.

Conor shot him an angry glare and rolled over so he was facing the wall.

“Dammit, Conor!” Ned exclaimed. “I’m just tryin’ to help you.”

“Fuck off,” came the mumbled reply.

Ned felt like slamming his head into the wall. He stood up and flung his hands up to his face. “Conor, you’re not making this easy,” he said in a warning tone, “What, is it O’Keefe? That fucker is a dick. Is Weasel acting up again? ‘Cause you can easily put him in his place. You know that, you’ve done it before. Oh—or is it your dad?” Ned knew he was right when Conor buried himself further into his sheets. “Come on, what did he do this time? Whatever it is, you still have to function, you can’t let him get to you, he doesn’t deserve even that-”

“Ned.” Conor cut him off mid-sentence. “Please… just go. I know all this already and I just have to… I just have to think.”

He sounded so defeated that Ned just stalled. “Uh.” he stuttered. “Yeah. Okay.” He turned to leave for breakfast, before remembering something. “One thing—Please remember to eat. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, you haven’t left the dorm at all. This isn’t healthy.”

Conor waiting for the door to shut before flopping onto his back again. Ned was right, and he knew it. He’d been telling himself all the same things since he’d gotten the call but it was like something was broken. He just couldn’t do, well, anything. He felt like shit, he smelled like shit, and he knew he looked like shit. He was putting himself through a hell of his own making, and it felt like there was nothing he could do about it, though he knew logically that he had all the power. “Fuck!” he mumbled, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop hot, angry tears from falling. His stomach hurt and his mouth was bone dry, and he felt disgusting all around, but he just couldn’t bring himself to get up. He stayed there for about a half hour longer, his pillow damp from the tears, and after the half hour he had made up his mind. He won’t stand for this bullshit. Not his own, not his parents’, not the school’s. And, he was going to take a goddamned shower if it killed him. After about 5 minutes, he had made it to the showers, which were (thankfully) empty since all the students were in class. He took one of the longest showers of his life, standing under the spray until it turned cold and he felt like his legs were going to give out under him. But he did it, he brushed his teeth, and he put on a new set of clothes. He got back to his dorm and he felt triumphant, like he had actually accomplished him. He sat down at his desk, and suddenly felt utterly exhausted, more tired than he had ever been before. His feelings of accomplishment were quickly washed away by the return of the feeling of utter uselessness. Conor felt like he could cry again. He grabbed his phone off the desk and sent a quick text to Ned.

could u bring me like toast or smth

im finally out of bed ud be proud

God, why did everything have to fucking drain him? He just wanted to be back to normal. His phone dinged, as Ned replied.

congrats

welcome back to the land of the living

Conor could vividly see the smirk Ned must be wearing. What an arse. Conor smiled softly to himself. Ned might be an arse, but Conor may or may not love it.

Ned returned an hour later, with a muffin and a bottle of water. In the time in between, Conor had stripped his bed for the first time that month.

“Wow, you’re even gonna do laundry?” Ned commented.

“Yeah, it’s gross at this point.”

“No fucking kidding!” Ned leaned over and sniffed Conor’s hair. “Oh, shit, you showered too?”

“Yes,” Conor snapped back, grabbing the muffin and water from Ned’s outstretched hand. “Fuck off, I’m still human.”

“You weren’t acting like it,” Ned mumbled under his breath.

Conor shot Ned an incredulous look. “Did you really think I couldn’t hear that?”

Ned only cocked an eyebrow in a skeptical look as a response. Yeah, Ned was definitely an arse. But for some reason, talking and joking with him like this made Conor feel better than he had in the past few weeks.

“Feelin’ better?” Ned asked in a soft tone, nodding towards the muffin that had a few bites taken out of it.

Conor’s eyes met Ned’s, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. Yeah, a lot better.”

#handsome devil (2016)#ned roche #conor masters

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