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#bc lets be real here i do NOT doubt any of these people's abilities its not my place so i dont even do it quietly to myself. very rarely
abyssalpriest · 6 months
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unrelated to that lmfao
i love being not (insert religions based on the kings and their people as ''demons'') but being adjacent to the communities while knowing the kings on a personal level because oh boy
#like i wont get into the Chrxstian God And The Kings' ''Fall'' rumour i did the other day but things like that and like#posts being like ''oh they love everyone all of us each of us'' and talking about The Lore of down there thats like. so clearly#twisted to be pro-(kings) propaganda and im like oh my god. if you worship them BECAUSE of these details you think are right then#im so fucking sorry they are way more complex and grey-moral than this#- i have to be clear. i do not know anything anyone says is false if its their worldview. Im not sitting here laughing because i think othe#s are Dumbdumb and cant get across the kings as Flawlessly as me uwu or some shit im explicitly talking about people saying#definitively that the chrxstian god did xyz thing and the kings are poor little meow meows and love everyone while also saying they#dont love everyone bc they vehemently disagree with chrxstians and stuff like. ''('demons') are actually the Pure sacred race theyre all#old gods theyre all pro-human and would never hurt a practitioner'' that type of stuff im like. ahhhhhhhh. so youve heard the propaganda#bc lets be real here i do NOT doubt any of these people's abilities its not my place so i dont even do it quietly to myself. very rarely#yes but like 1% of the time and its only when a bunch of red flags pop up but like. there are so many people on the kings' plane that#are telling humans these things bc......... well look at the goetic demons. royalty and people in power. who do people mainly go#to for demonolatry? The people in their society we understand to be kings. princes. dukes and duchesses. are they all these things? no#like Duke Vepar isnt a Duke lmfao i know her personally like she'll present like that but. imagine if that race wanted to talk to people of#our plane but only spoke to the english king/queen and dukes and duchesses and marquis and war generals and stuff to ask about#their civilisations. do you think that theyd get an unbiased view of the monarchy and the english religion and whatnot........#edit: so like we're really clear. its like seeing people brainwashed by fucked up politics bc. it is that.#sometimes you just have to laugh bc like god youre in deep and im so sorry#insert my ex (a spirit) lying to me and convincing me he was a video game character for five years like what else can you do but laugh#ramblings //
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axigailxo · 2 years
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I appreciate the hard work you did even after going through writers block. Let me tell you abi it was really really good chapter. And at last the scenes were like made me cry 🥹 and i hope I get more angst. Like not every writer has an ability to put feelings through writing but you do and you when write smut so so beautifully. Like it seems so exquisite. There are some moments where you deliver dialogues so perfectly that sometimes i feel I really forget i actually was reading a fic. Your TEACHERS PET isn't just a fic but a work of art. You aren't here to provide us some smut and dirty talks you put in . But you just made us realise several feelings that can go through at different moments. For example, i love the way you write Jungkook's dialogues as per his age. As per his age mentioned in this story he's very romantic, very classic. They don't seem as equal to oc. There's a standard in your writing that I never saw in anyone. Like people barely hold that talent and you made us stick to your work. Also that you are veryyyyyy beautiful my love. Like a real fairy 🤍🧚. We're here to wait for you to bombard us with your next chapter ANYTIME. DON'T you hurry babygirl. Take your time. Life's important and your sleep, just don't rush. We'll wait 😙 - Ani
ani… 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 this made me teary eyed omg i literally love u…
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW HAPPY I AM TO HEAR THAT, like it truly means so so much to me 😭❤️❤️❤️ to have someone enjoy your work is one thing but to have someone speak so highly of it is just so 💓💓💓💓 SO THANK U FOR BEING THAT SOMEONE
i’m glad ur able to notice those things like dialogue and etc, hearing that is like breath of fresh air bc whenever i post i of course am always doubtful at first or worried ppl might not like it (especially w this chapter as it’s the first chapter w drama) BUT YOUR WORDS RLY DID JUST COMFORT AND ASSURE ME SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA <3 T_T
also, A FAIRY?!?! baby… 🥹🥹🥹 THANK YOU!!! and also thank u sm for having patience w me, i’ll be sure to limit myself w overworking too much 🥹❤️ it’s beyond assuring to know i don’t have to rush 🥹💕thank u sm for your concern!! again, it rly does mean a lot to me
LOVE U LOTS BBY, ITS ALWAYS GOOD HEARING FROM YOU 💕💕💕
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doomeddiary · 5 months
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I pretty recently came across one of those ask game posts and in the format of "what color am i" with an edited png full of custom responses by the op and many of them were racy~~~ (breeding+watersports+more uwu) but one of them said something along the lines of "i want you to kidnap me and turn me into a snuff film star" and that made me go hmmm. Let me go and check this blog and see if what im feeling is the internal ping of intuitive pattern recognition or if this is something else, and as I'd come to find out no, miss mamas did have incest+rape paraphilias. Sad! Demoralizing! Blocked immediately! But i was still thinking about it.
(Readmore bc this gets long and rambly and tmi, cw for discussion on sexualized violence and mildly self fellating reflection over the nature of it and whatnot)
And i was thinking on how the first thing that made me pause was the innocent almost coquettish usage of "snuff" as a sexy fun cute concept, and trying to figure out what was the difference between her fetishization and eroticizing of violence and my own sexual proclivities.
Like being tmi open and honest mask off etc etc, I am heavily into bdsm, and i also love body horror. i adore blood and gore and guts and whatnot on an aesthetic and sexual level. It is largely fantasy as many of the plays id like to do are not safe or sane and i take safety very seriously, but its still something i know i am deeply attracted to and find erotic to fantasize about. So I did notice the parallels of my own deviant~ sexual tastes and hers, and i was upset and uncomfortable with those similarities bc again miss mamas is out here posting about wanting to rape st*ve h*rrington off ST like EEP... JEEPERS! and i wanted to unpack that thought and what real differences there were between these kinds of fantasies, and while my friends reassured me with "nooo youre into it differently/they're just doing it different" i didn't like the vagueness, because what is the difference?
And well I figured out pretty quickly and swiftly that it is ofc consent, which is funny given the context of "how are thy violent sexual fantasies different from thine" but yeah, while I am very into the idea of gore and blood and mutilation, it's only if like, my sub is also into it. And that they're miraculously ok afterwards. I am barred from ever being able to do any of my dream plays in real life because it would not be safe and anyone who would consent to them would probably have such a damaged or altered state of mind that any "consent" would be null and void so while its slightly embarrassing to admit, most of the time i envision fictional characters who are functionally unkillable due to some kind of heal ability or resurrection mechanic where they're not only able to enthusiastically consent but theyre ALSO ok afterwards! And its not my sole source of pleasure, i like vanilla sex as much as anyone, but it is one of those things that i know i love but will never indulge in, because i cannot and will not seriously maim or injure another person.
Anyways, all that to say that whenever i run across the "snuff as a cute sexy thing" girlies its pretty clear that the finality and lack of consent is the main draw. The idea of having your autonomy stripped from you or others as it would happen in real life is what is attractive and that will just never sit right with me, it is so clearly unsettling and unattractive to me. And yes, on its face they are both violent sexual fantasies that she likely won't be indulging in either, and I do not doubt that most regular everyday people would find my proclivities just as frightening no matter how fervently i reiterated how I'd never hurt a fly etc etc, but to me, the fetishization of removing consent is a significant aspect.
So, returning to the "snuff" aspect. The way i see it and rationalize it to myself, these kinds of crimes of violent misogyny and femicide happen literally everyday and are not titillating and having that kind of violence and removal of consent be such a central part of your sexuality is different, it changes the context of everything, I don't care anymore that it's just a "fantasy" because what you're really fantasizing about is emblematic at its core of the real violence worldwide. No fucking wonder she also had incest+rape paraphilias. Anyways.
tl;dr my sexualized violent fantasy is better than yours because the people in my imaginary fantasy fully consent and are having fun and we're all going to kiss and cuddle afterwards
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zellacchan · 4 years
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TANAKA APPRECIATION DAY STARTS NOW
-THIS WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT HIM IS PERFECTLY WRITTEN, THE IMPACT IS BEAUTIFUL, AND I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH MORE.
-TANAKA DOESN'T GIVE UP. that thought alone seems boring when you read it just like that, right? but this episode, ugh, man. it surfaced a whole new concept, you'd think the character was a genuine human, a real person from this world.
-how, exactly? let's start with the things that happened to Tanaka-senpai. ‘‘embarrassment. failure. yet despite that-you refused to give in, and you constantly repeated that in your mind. yet you still ended up getting even more disappointed than you initially were. nothing was going smoothly, and you didn't know why. 'it's okay. i'll keep going, it'll be alright.' you result to self encouragement, because it really isn't the time to feel down, just stay positive. force yourself to be.’’ was the type of situation he was in. normally, a person would give in to the despair, the negativity their mind kept bringing to them. because, i mean, what else could they do? everything was going wrong right in front of their eyes. and when they tried bringing themselves up again, their own teammate refused to help. getting them to toss to you after you called for one could've been the chance to redeem yourself, but no, it didn't. in a normal situation, you'd think ‘okok they might have a plan/they prolly have a better chance at scoring’ or ‘psh maybe next time.’ or even go ‘asjdjfjfj that was embarrassing!’ pretty much any thought, usually it wouldn't give a huge impact to you, and you're able to brush it off after a couple minutes then focus on the game again. but if its like the situation Tanaka was in? completely different scenario. it's likely to give more than a stab to your morale. could even serve as the final blow. even Bokuta-san knew this, as seen from how he passed out afterwards watching them. (maybe it's due to the relief that karasuno scored, tho his attention mostly focused on Tanaka, as once again shown from his reaction after Tanaka earned a point. plus the fact that he was aware of how he, himself would act if he's in Tanaka's position.) but, did that 'deal the final blow'? did it finally make him give up? nope, it didn't. (part of the credit goes to our sunshine child Shoyo, thank hEAVENS for this angel.) and even if Shoyo wasn't there to encourage him, i doubt he would've acted differently. it takes such an impossible amount of mental strength to survive those kind of life difficulties, moreover in sports. s p o r t s, where one mistake could ruin everything. and Tanaka-san had that strength. it merely showed it's pique on the very end, but he had it from the very beginning. hence, again, i doubt a different outcome—and i find that so so beautiful, bc honestly, let's be realistic here. not a lot of people could do that. they may try, but they can only reach so far before giving in. Tanaka was one of those rare gems, and this episode was incredibly inspirational about it. i just can't say that enough. it's anime, fictional. yet the emotions, the struggles and how it was depicted were more than on point, and that's why it's capable of such impact. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
-i dare say more; let's move onto his quotes. “i'm nothing but average. but still, my average self.. do you really have time to look down like that?” ohmygod. this needs to be my life motto. Tanaka-senpai you outstandingly positive man, i crave for his attitude-his viewpoint, way of dealing with sitautions and everything. it's so cool and awesome and just aAAAAA, how?! how is one capable of such thoughts?? please teach me. i beg of you. “i'm pretty sure i'm a normal human being. especially when it comes to my build and abilities. when i was a kid, i was convinced i was a genius. i might've thought that until i was in middle school. actually, i'm still sorta convinced that i am. but i'm probably never going to be 180cm tall. i'm confident in my athletic skills. but on our volleyball team, i'm not number one in anything at this point in time. but that's not a reason to quit, nor is it an excuse.” i'm screaming. just slapped the perspective and words i've longed to hear. what an ace, Tanaka-senpai deserves that title so much. it fits so perfectly. “as long as i keep trying until i can do it... i can actually do it!” yes, thank you, Tanaka-senpai, Furudate-sensei, for proving that giving up is just an illusion of success. once you've tried enough and you can finally do it, you've finally done it. it's possible.
I REPEAT, TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE DESERVES SO MUCH APPRECIATION. HE'S SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN CHARACTER, AND WE ALL SHOULD SHOWER OUR LOVE TO HIM.
p.s i wrote this on the spur of the moment, (milliseconds after the episode ended) pardon if i dont make sense<3 just love tanaka ryuunosuke<3 thats all you need to know<33
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clockworkswans · 2 years
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Heather can ask you your opinion on something I remember your run on posts they were always very thoughtful I loved them- Its about ABP some people are saying that SH shouldn't kiss back YS because she wasn't able to consent I don't know how to feel I start watching the drama bc of them but now I don't know what to think I feel bad ngl and worried about next eps too bc if they do the do :/ I even have doubts to continue watching idk how u feel?
Hello, of course, you can!
Note: please don't interact with this if you're going to be rude, I am happy to discuss things but we are all adults and not twitter stans so let's remember we're all people.
So, I do have thoughts on this but overall, I saw no issue with the kiss and that's because of a) context and b) nuance within realistic set-ups. as in my experience with similar events.
Context: both characters are clearly attracted to each other and are constantly shown to be respectful humans. SH literally chased down a gross man and helped bring him to justice in the same episode. YS has also been shown to be a confident pursuer. If anything, she has been the one 'crossing the line' as SH said before. Because of this context, the kiss is an accumulation of their back and forth. They have feelings and shockingly, when alcohol is involved, your brain says GO FOR IT.
Nuance: idk if anyone here has drunkenly kissed or confessed to a crush but...you're still in control of your actions. Being drunk doesn't equal a lack of ability to consent. If YS was unable to speak or literally asleep and he kissed her, yeah that's gross, but she took the first step and kissed him, and if anything, SH was surprised lol?
Personally, having been in similar situations, I've never felt my consent was disrespected. And I believe SH is a character who would never take advantage of a woman, given the effort he went through to assist her and help other victims of said creepy dude.
I do understand if people have issues with this because of their own experiences, that is a different thing entirely. But my opinion concludes: they're both consenting adults in a situation where feelings were heightened. In real life, a lot of the time you don't get a simple exchange of 'hello, i like you, please may i kiss you' ...wait for 5 seconds....kiss politely'. Consent is not just that, it is evident in your actions and feelings and trust of the other person. This is once again, my experiences of it, and although I am able to see other sides, I do not see any issues with the scene.
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syubub · 3 years
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Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!
It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!
I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!
I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!
Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!
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I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol
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So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)
Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.
I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"
Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!
Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.
So so so.
The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)
The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.
So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.
Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.
With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.
Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!
The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.
Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.
So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.
I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!
Witht he ace of wands
It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."
I can dream....
What a nice dream.
Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.
Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!
A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.
Now that that's cleared up
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I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)
I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"
YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.
At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?
2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)
I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.
YOONGI WHY
This cheeky son of a bitch.
Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.
"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.
WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???
I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.
"Are they hiding their energy?" No.
I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.
I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.
"lol ur dumb"
Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"
Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.
What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.
yoobi, sir, why must you do this?
I decided to continue.
"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.
Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.
I'm petty about it, sue me.
The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.
Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.
I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??
With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?
I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.
My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.
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For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.
First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.
A lot of opening lol.
It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.
Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.
Yep I checked. They are the page #s.
So that's intresting.
Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.
Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.
TLDR
Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.
Happy day of birth Syub!!
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monkberries · 3 years
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They dealt with all of the above. Ringo was treated as a joke for pretty much everything, especially since this was the era of prog rock. His personal life was also tabloid fodder. George was derided as being a dour spiritual nut who was out of touch. He along w/ Ringo didn't get the respect he deserved as a guitarist bc his style wasn't in at the time & people knew little about his role in The Beatles. All credit went to Lennon/McCartney. 1/2
John had the benefit of having the rebel genius image, but even he became a source of ridicule with all the stunts he pulled with Yoko and the way his career declined after Imagine. He wasn't deified to the degree he was in the 80s. I'm not trying to say Paul never had a hard time, but the way this fandom talks as if he is the only one who faced extreme criticism or disrespect just tells me they haven't looked much into the other Beatles' lives. The man is more admired than most musicians. 2/2
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(IDK if this screenshotted anons were from the same person or not, but I’ll just answer them in this one since it’s all the same subject.)
Here’s what I think is valid, as I see it: Paul fans are upset by the way his music was treated by the music press, especially in the first few years of the 70s, while the music of the other three were generally given at least the benefit of the doubt. They’re not upset about the tabloid gossip, the purely personal stuff – they are upset, specifically and with good reason, at the way Paul’s music was treated and the way the music world’s personal dislike of him seeped into their music reviews. I’m gonna focus in on 1970 through the end of 1974, since this is where a lot of the complaints spawn from, and things start to shift in a big way in 74. You didn’t ask but contemporary writings about their early solo music is something I’m fascinated by anyway and you turned the wind-up toy key in my back, so. Off I go. This is gonna be so, so long.
At different points in the decade, all of them were subject to a sullying of their personal reputations. That is where I do agree with you: all of them were subjected to that by the press, to varying degrees, at varying times, and for various reasons for each of them. That is just what happens to public figures the longer they are public figures. Tabloids mess with everyone no matter how beloved they are. 
However, that’s not what I generally see Paul fans getting upset about. What I see is that they’re upset at the way the much more legitimate and widely respected music press approached Paul’s music and talent in general. It is widely received knowledge now that the critics treated Paul’s music differently than they did John’s and George’s and even Ringo’s; the trashing was not “equal.” They came at John and George with the assumption that their talent was real and ongoing outside of the Beatles, their genius unquestionable, their motives pure and well-intentioned and honest. Paul was not afforded these assumptions. Some examples to show what I mean, most of them found through wikipedia, rocksbackpages, or rollingstone.com.
John
Plastic Ono Band was Robert Christgau’s number one album of 1970 in The Village Voice. from Creem’s review: “John's record, of course, has been righteously raved over ever since its release, justifiably. It's interesting and even enlightening to see a man working out his trauma on black plastic but more than that, it's totally enthralling to see that Lennon has once again unified, to some degree, his life and his music into a truly whole statement.” From High Fidelity’s review: "a tremendously exciting listening experience, perhaps the best any Beatle has ever offered." In their Imagine review, Rolling Stone called POB “perfect.” A couple reviews in the mainstream were more mixed, put off a little by the rawness of it, but overall the rock world quickly grew to see this album as a work of genius.
Imagine was even more widely well-reviewed, despite a mixed review from Rolling Stone (John fell out with Jann Wenner around this time, curiously). Here’s a passage from rateyourmusic.com: “Imagine was actually one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the year, aside from this tepid review in Rolling Stone. Indeed, much of the rock press seemed palpably relieved that the former Beatle hadn't gone completely off the deep end. ‘It's the best album of the year, and for me it's the best album he's done, with anything, or with anyone, at any time,’ Roy Hollingworth wrote in the 10/9/71 issue of Melody Maker. ‘The album is superb,’ Alan Smith agreed in the 9/11/71 issue of NME. ‘Beautiful. One step away from the chill of his recent total self-revelation, and yet a giant leap towards commerciality without compromise...I have no criticism at all.’”
Some Time in New York City was admittedly John’s nadir, and the press was vicious about it, both personally and musically, deeming the album egotistical, lacking in energy, and devoid of sincerity. However, many maintained a reverence for the genius that came before it and hopeful encouragement for the future. Rolling Stone said that “The Lennons should be commended for their daring;” Creem said it wasn’t half bad; and even though NME’s article was scathing, it ended with a plea for John to return to form, saying, “Don't rely on cant and rigidity. Don't alienate. Stimulate. You know, like you used to.”
Mind Games, though reviews were mixed, fared far better in comparison. Again, there is a hopeful tone to the reviews, a sureness that John can do better. From Rolling Stone talks about the music being a return to POB form, but the writing is his worst yet; however, Landau qualifies this by saying the lyrics aren’t “offensive, per se, just misguided... [John Lennon’s admirers] might even be able to withstand something more challenging” and then praises John’s voice, his production, and a few individual songs. In Melody Maker, Ray Coleman says, “if you warm to the rasping voice of Lennon and, like me, regard him as the true fulcrum of much of what came from his old group, then like any new Lennon album, it will be enjoyable and even important.” Christgau is more middling but also says, “Still, the single works, and let's hope he keeps right on stepping.”
Walls and Bridges seems confusing to reviewers in retrospect. They couldn’t seem to come to a consensus on it. The musicianship was widely praised, for the most part, though Rolling Stone criticized the first side on this front; reviewers alternately said it was “the latest chapter in John Lennon’s Identity Crisis” (Creem) and “truly a superb album by any standards” (Melody Maker). Throughout the Rolling Stone review, the author is able to thoroughly critique the songs, for better or worse, with a neutral affect and without resorting to insulting John personally. He ends the review on a positive note: “When one accepts one’s childhood, one’s parenthood and the impermanence which lies between, one can begin to slog along. When John slogs, he makes progress.” Again, even though the reviews aren’t all positive, we can see, especially and most importantly in the most influential rock magazine of the time, the acknowledgment of his talent, a sense of excitement for what John will do next, and a belief that his work is authentic and honest.
George
All Things Must Pass, I mean. Apart from a couple of outliers like Christgau in The Village Voice (he called it “overblown fatuity”), it was incredibly, almost universally beloved by the music press when it came out. There was quite a bit of surprise that such a talent had been under everyone’s noses all this time, but I don’t think anon is quite correct that all the credit for the Beatles went to Lennon/McCartney. For example, Ben Gerson in Rolling Stone recognized George’s talent within the Beatles like this: “Up until now, George has been perhaps the premier studio musician among rock band guitarists. From the electronic whine which began “I Feel Fine” to the break in “Hard Day’s Night” to the crazed, sitar-influenced burst on “Taxman,” George exhibited an avant-garde imagination and a technical flawlessness, as well as the ability to stay within the bounds of a song, which has remained unparalleled.” In Melody Maker, the feeling of journalists was summed up thusly: hearing the album was “the rock equivalent of the shock felt by pre-war moviegoers when Garbo first opened her mouth in a talkie: Garbo talks! – Harrison is free!" The personal nature and honesty of the lyrics were praised as well; Time described it as an “expressive, classically executed personal statement.” Ben Gerson did call his proselytizing offensive, but in the next sentence says that George redeems himself from that with the personal plea in Hear Me Lord.
Concert for Bangla Desh - again, some cynicism from Christgau in The Village Voice (must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day) and of course tax issues dogged it later, but overall, for the rock press at the time, this was a crowning achievement that George pulled off. He was praised all over the press, countercultural and mainstream, for his live musical talent, the group of musicians that joined him, the lack of political motivation, the sincerity and goodwill, and George’s ability to bring back  "a brief incandescent revival of all that was best about the Sixties" (Rolling Stone). To this day he is credited with creating the model for future charity concerts. 
Living in the Material World - Nothing could have topped the one-two punch of ATMP and the Concert for Bangla Desh, but honestly, LITMW came pretty close for some journalists. Rolling Stone again praised George’s honesty and authenticity: “ Despite the occasional use of “psychedelic puns,” Harrison’s lyrics are so guileless they convey an extraordinary sincerity that transcends questions of craftsmanship. Similarly, the devotions we are called upon to share with Harrison, though they communicate no specific, private torment, do have the authenticity of overheard prayers and are therefore sacred.” Melody Maker said, "Harrison has always struck me before as simply a writer of very classy pop songs; now he stands as something more than an entertainer. Now he's being honest." The pushback against his pious attitude and lyrics picked up some steam with this album, particularly with Christgau (again) and Tony Tyler of NME, who called it “so damn holy I could scream.” However, it was far from the consensus opinion at the time, and with the biggest rock magazine in the world at your back, you can withstand quite a bit.
Dark Horse, oof. That poor man. It did get some positivity in Billboard and Melody Maker, but my god, the reviews for this album and its subsequent tour were so cruel. I suspect when these anon(s) talk about the others being treated terribly by the press as well, this, along with John’s STINYC, is one of the examples they would give, and they’re not wrong about that. This was the point where George’s piety and what they perceived as a sanctimonious attitude finally started really getting to everyone, and the album plus the tour was the perfect opportunity to dogpile on him. I guess it was to be expected; no one can ride that high forever, and the press loves to knock people over and kick them while they’re down. Rolling Stone called it “disastrous,” “shoddy,” and called his guitar work “rudimentary,” eventually declaring that George had “never been a great artist.” This from the same magazine that was practically worshipping at his feet the year before. Yowch.
Ringo
Sentimental Journey - The less that’s said about this album, the better.
Beaucoups of Blues was actually quite well-received. No one called him a genius for it, and it wasn’t a serious personal record and therefore wasn’t treated that way, but journalists seemed uniquely able to let themselves enjoy this record despite the serious/political/personal tone of most musicians at the time. Melody Maker believed Ringo had  "conviction and charm" and that because of that, the album stripped away the serious “hip posturing” and let you just enjoy the music on its own terms. The Village Voice said that Ringo was “good at making himself felt.” Although Rolling Stone’s tone was a bit more cruel than other magazines (there was a crack somewhere in there that Ringo wasn’t as smart as John), it also called him lovable and the record “a real winner” where the songs “sound terrific.”
Ringo was a total smash and I think people forget this. It’s remembered only because it’s an album that was worked on by all four Beatles, but actually, the critics fuckin loved it. Ringo was praised in Rolling Stone for his unpretentiousness, sensibility, and essentially collaborative nature: “Ringo was always the figure of conciliation within the Beatles, undoubtedly the most genial, conceivably the most sensible, and the one with the smallest musical axe to grind. His very lapses bespoke the esteem in which the others held him; had they not liked him so much, those perfectionists would never have allowed him to sing. Perhaps because as the drummer he stood outside the process of creation, he had the best perspective from which to see the Beatles as a unity. Ringo has never had any pretense of self-sufficiency. Once he had gotten his special projects out of the way (projects for which John, Paul and George's talents would have been unsuited anyway) Ringo was ready to call upon the three most obvious people to assist him with writing, singing and playing. As Starr's first "pop album," Ringo signifies a homecoming, not just of family, but in musical style as well.”
Goodnight Vienna was kind of a minor album for Ringo, but still, reviews were pretty good. Rolling Stone praised his “unalloyed sincerity which is his trademark and trump card.” Yet again, we see the theme of authenticity popping up in these reviews - if you are perceived as authentic, honest, and sincere, that takes you a long way with music reviewers in this time period, and Ringo was nothing if not wholly, completely himself.
Paul
McCartney - One of the main complaints of Paul fans is that Jann Wenner forced Langdon Winner, the author of the review for this album in Rolling Stone, to rewrite his article and put a more negative spin on it. The result is that Winner praised most of the music but totally undermined his own praise by questioning the authenticity of the tone and deriding the press release that came with the album as much as he praised the music. He ends the article like this: “I like McCartney very much. But I remember that the people of Troy also liked that wooden horse they wheeled through their gates until they discovered that it was hollow inside and full of hostile warriors.” This was a huge blow at a time when personal authenticity and substance were considered paramount. Melody Maker also questioned the legitimacy of his genius, saying “With this record, [McCartney's] debt to George Martin becomes increasingly clear.” Most other reviews weren’t any better.
Ram, I mean, Jesus Christ the reviews for this. It’s a widely respected album now, even made the RS top 500 albums of all time list last year, but at the time people were still so angry with Paul for supposedly breaking up the Beatles that they were still taking it out on his music a year later (imo). Landau in Rolling Stone called it “emotionally vacuous” and said it lacked conviction, saying also that it was “so incredibly inconsequential and so monumentally irrelevant you can’t even [hate it]; it is difficult to concentrate on, let alone dislike or even hate.” NME called it “the worst thing Paul McCartney has ever done.” Threaded through these reviews is a belief that the songs are devoid of meaning and that Paul’s happy domestic front is just a frustrating lie; Christgau in The Village Voice said he was “infuriated by the McCartneys' modern young-marrieds image” - infuriated because he clearly doesn’t believe it, rendering Paul dishonest and his music inauthentic. Once again journalists are unable to review Paul’s music without sniping about him as a person.
Wild Life - Though the situation remains largely the same - reviewers refuse to take him seriously, believe anything he says, or treat his musical talent as anything but vacuous fluff - the reviews aren’t quite as bad as they were for Ram and a bit of positivity begins to stir. It’s evident especially in the Rolling Stone review, where Mendelsohn wonders if Paul is making crappy fluff on purpose to piss John off because it will sell just as well anyway. It’s not much, and on top of the fairly strong criticism there is almost no hope for future Paul releases: “My own conviction is that we'd be foolish to expect anything much more earth-shaking than Wild Life out of McCartney for a good long while... In the meantime the reader is advised to either develop a fondness for vacuous but unpretentious pop music or look elsewhere for musical pleasure.” But it’s something.
Red Rose Speedway Paul continues to be lambasted by a lot of the press on this album for being lightweight and having no meaning behind his songs (at this point it’s just repetitive to quote the articles, just trust me that they say basically the same thing they were saying for the past three albums too), BUT I think a nuance that gets forgotten in all of this is that Rolling Stone gave it kind of a decent review. It seems like they finally quit gatekeeping and realized that songs don’t need to have some deep personal meaning to be good. Kaye is still not very nice about Paul’s lyrics but he recognizes that he doesn’t have to take Paul’s music on the same terms as he takes John and George. Paul’s music is less personal, but that doesn’t make it unworthy. He calls it “pleasant, accessible without concentration” and praises Paul’s voice and arranging skills. It feels like for this album, Rolling Stone took the stick out of its own ass when it came to Paul and finally relaxed enough to receive Paul’s music on his terms rather than theirs. Which, imo, primed the rock world for...
Band on the Run, Paul’s comeback. Even though Christgau in The Village Voice remained unconvinced (he called it “a pleasant piece of hackwork”), almost everyone else adored it. It seems weird to us now, but the general sentiment seemed to be that people were surprised by how good this album was. NME said, “The ex-Beatle least likely to re-establish his credibility and lead the field has pulled it off with a positive master-stroke”; and although Landau’s review in Rolling Stone overflowed with praise, he also said, “I'm surprised I like Band on the Run so much more than McCartney's other solo albums because, superficially, it doesn't seem so different from them.” 
I hope I’ve been able to demonstrate a general trajectory with the musical reputation of each Beatle here. John starts off on two incredible high points, crashes and burns, and then works his way back up. He DEFINITELY missed with STINYC, but even when he followed it up with Mind Games, there was still a hopeful tone to the reviews, sort of like, “Ah, well, the last two weren’t great but we’re still looking forward to what John will give us next.” Until the Dark Horse tour/album, which did sour the press on poor George, the music press adored him. It was hit after hit with him. He could not miss. Three high points, one after the other, then a monumental crash. Ringo seems to stay fairly high, even if the records aren’t serious records. All three of them start out incredibly well, and the music press was able and willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Paul was given none of that. Perhaps because he was out of step with the attitudes about music at the time, perhaps because journalists hated him for breaking up the Beatles, perhaps because they believed John when he painted Paul as “establishment,” perhaps a combination - whatever their issue was, Paul was given no benefit of the doubt to start with, no faith in his genius, and no belief in his authenticity. He was just a hack to the music press for the first few years of the 70s; he started at the bottom and was forced to work his way up, unlike the other three. It started, imo, when Wenner forced the journalist who wrote the McCartney review in RS to rewrite the article, and it spiraled from there. He was seen as hollow and uncool, as one of the anons said, “straight” in the parlance of the time - straight meaning “establishment.” This is kind of where I do start to roll my eyes a little bit at stans, when they get upset at people calling him “establishment” and trying to prove that actually he was so anti-establishment that people couldn’t handle it or whatever, without trying to understand what the word “anti-establishment” meant at the time. But there are also really substantive arguments you can make that say Paul’s music was not taken seriously because of a personal grudge against him.
I’m not saying that all of them didn’t have run-ins with the music press. I’m saying there is nuance here that I don’t think these anons are allowing for in the first few years of that decade. They came at George and John and Ringo with a positive, or at least neutral, slant most of the time. They came at Paul with a negative one. Case in point are the reviews of Band on the Run that were surprised at how good it was. That stuff gets people’s hackles up. The others didn’t have positive reviews rewritten to be more negative. The others didn’t have albums savaged that are now on the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time list. I do agree that John, at least, and George post Dark Horse, had a harder time with the music press than people generally remember or care to think about – deification is retroactive, I guess, and as Paul fans we should definitely recognize that Paul wasn’t the only one who went through a rough time with the press. But I do think Paul’s situation was made uniquely and unjustifiably difficult for those first few years.
I mean, at the same time, I cannot stress enough how much this did not affect his bottom line. Despite the horrible reviews, Ram still made a ton of money, McCartney made a ton of money, Band on the Run and Wild Life and Red Rose Speedway all made a ton of money. He had a fanbase, a huge one, that followed him loyally and faithfully through the early 70s as he was getting savaged by the press, and through the middle and late 70s when he was touring. At some point, you have to step back and go, wait. Why does any of this matter? This was 50 years ago. He was a multi-millionaire then and is a billionaire now. And you are right; whenever people over-generalize and try to make the case that Paul was always badly reviewed and the others were press darlings, I tend to get annoyed because they’re totally missing the actually interesting nuances of the situation (that can be easily found online! I found most of the music reviews through snippets on Wikipedia!) In conclusion, I guess my point is that both “Paul was vilified while everyone else wasn’t” and “everyone was equally vilified” paint the events of the early 70s with brushes that are too broad and miss the nuance that was evident in the way the press interacted with their music.
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asotin · 4 years
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tobirama might be madara and other thoughts tobirama doesn't want to have
(i tried to organize this and not to get too repetitive or go on a huge tangent about the details of hashirama and tobirama’s strained sibling relationship beyond the way they tie into tobirama and madara, but it’s a ~3k monster and i am but a simple nerd)
ftr i don’t think that everything here is the correct interpretation of what was happening, but i do think it's how tobirama saw things
to get to why tobirama is shit scared of madara, i think you have to begin with when they’re kids and look at his relationship with hashirama because that’s where the seeds of bad choices to come are planted
1.
tobirama prioritizes hashirama. he can think for himself and doesn’t completely follow hashirama’s directions, but lbr he works within the framework of the things hashirama wants and builds. if hashirama had changed his mind and decided that peace was unattainable, tobirama wouldn’t have left him to start a village on his own. he would have stayed with his brother and kept fighting
madara and hashirama being pulled apart started all the shit, but it was tobirama and izuna who tattled and made that happen
why was tobirama following hashirama in the first place? because butsuma told him to? fuck no. he followed hashirama for the same reason izuna followed madara: his brother has been sneaking off without telling him. hashirama is keeping secrets, even from tobirama
you know what makes you feel like shit? guilt
tobirama made hashirama miserable because he did what he was supposed to do and told butsuma about hashirama’s secret friend (read: he did what a jealous kid does and tattled)
from the start of their friendship, hashirama chose madara. he had to stick with tobirama because they’re brothers, but hashirama wanted madara to be in his life because he liked madara
sure, hashirama chose to die before he chose to kill tobirama but what if those hadn’t been the options? what if madara had told hashirama to choose between madara and tobirama?
both of their younger brothers get killed by madara’s family, but hashirama won’t stop talking about his friend who he should have killed but won’t
tobirama killed izuna like he was supposed to but hashirama won’t kill madara
you know what else feels really bad? the possibility that the brother you love and built your life around might hate you but you can’t be sure one way or the other
hashirama is ready to abandon everything for madara, but he doesn’t really acknowledge tobirama. one of the things tobirama is known for- being a sensor- only comes up later, when hashirama mocks him for not noticing that orochimaru has hashirama’s cells. it's sort of brotherly ribbing but because he's never been shown doing that before or joking with anyone other than madara, it feels more barbed than it normally would
hashirama in general kind of ignores tobirama until they butt heads
maybe it's because there isn't a parallel character to tobirama, but tobirama’s scale of someone’s worth is based on hashirama being at the top, while hashirama doesn't think about tobirama at all outside one moment in the flashback where he thinks about wanting to keep his brothers safe
hashirama, who trusted a stranger because he was playing in a river, doesn’t think much of tobirama, and that’s where the fear starts
why doesn’t hashirama like him? what isn't tobirama seeing?
why can’t hashirama forgive tobirama for telling butsuma?
why was it wrong for tobirama to kill izuna when izuna would have killed him?
madara, who wanted to build konoha and loved hashirama (even if you read it as platonic, if they don’t love each other, what the fuck is up between them bc that relationship wasn’t built on superficial trauma bonding), can be forgiven for turning against the village
why is what tobirama did worse than what madara did?
why does hashirama get so fucked up about madara even though madara tried to kill him, but he gets mad at tobirama for being wary of the people who’ve been trying to kill them (and who they’ve been trying to kill) for generations?
the fear of being replaced by madara is already there, and it only grows as hashirama mourns himself into an early death bc he wouldn’t have done that over tobirama
now add to that what happened when madara turned against konoha. more accurately, what didn’t happen
i’m repeating myself here but if tobirama and hashirama had worked together (if hashirama had called for him to help because tobirama has no business hopping into a throwdown between hashirama and madara and he knew it), they could have subdued madara without killing him (technically madara didn’t die, because izanagi or w/e but they didn't know that). hashirama didn’t want to kill madara. he explicitly, specifically did not want to kill madara and only did after madara pushed him into it
so why didn’t hashirama ask for tobirama’s help? if he’s at the point where he’d kill anyone who threatened the village (which i don’t reeeeeally buy as true bc it feels a lot more like something hashirama told himself to make killing madara less, you know, devastating) wouldn’t he prioritize stopping madara as soon as possible? he never showed any doubt in tobirama’s abilities, so if he wasn’t scared of his brother getting killed, why wouldn’t he call tobirama up?
because he doesn’t trust tobirama
hashirama doesn’t distrust other people. he wants to be friends with anyone. madara was attempting to stir up an insurrection, and hashirama still tried to keep him in the village. but he won’t rely on tobirama
so the fear expands
you know what tobirama doesn’t have? friends. a romantic interest. anything for himself as he grows that isn’t wrapped up in hashirama
this man likes rules. that was how he imagined the ideal ninja world. people make agreements and abide by them
if the founders era is an analog to the sengoku period ie the end of the muromachi period, which it is, then it’s worth noting that at this point in its history, real world japan was transitioning from the system of multiple heirs to a single heir. that wasn’t necessarily the oldest, but when one of your kids is a fucking brick shithouse with a kekkei genkai that’s never occurred before but rebellious and the other one is a genius who would be willing to follow through on your family’s blood feud but a) is loyal to his brother and b) has the charisma of a clammy handshake, who are you picking?
no way did tobirama expect to be made heir and imo he wouldn’t have wanted to be. hashirama is good at being the emotional leader and rallying people bc they like him. tobirama isn’t that interested in being the powerful one bc he’s more of a kingmaker
but you know it occurred to him that butsuma should want him to be the heir. hashirama isn’t exactly reliable and he sure doesn’t want to kill uchihas. tobirama would and he’d do it well
even the he doesn’t actually want the role, when you’re like 16 and your brother who you think is naive and lbr incompetent gets picked- something nobody does bc tobirama is, you know, a dick- it’s going to feel significant
so the fear grows more. he doesn’t want to be the head of the clan, but if he’s the one who could carry out butsuma’s plans, why is he still the second choice?
2.
speaking of butsuma and childhood trauma, it’s kind of interesting that tobirama winds up dealing with uchihas the same way he defused butsuma, philosophically
in terms of their behavior, to a traumatized kid who never made any uchiha friends, uchihas could resemble a certain senju, you know?
volatile, self-prioritizing, self-cannibalizing (fighting within the clan, not literal flesh eating), powerful by standing on the backs of others (no way was fugaku the first to think 'i'll show my kid what mass death looks like and that will make him strong.' the sharingan awakens through painful experiences, and uchihas are even more obsessively devoted to their clan than tobirama is to his. but paradoxically, they were ready to double down on inbreeding and blinding themselves to use izanagi, so they wouldn't be above deliberately exacerbating the trauma their kids couldn’t escape anyway for the sake of getting an edge)
to an adult tobirama, the uchihas sure could seem like a clan of butsumas, huh
how did tobirama deal with butsuma? he got in between him and hashirama. and how did butsuma react? he left to cool down (but i’d bet he never really repented, esp bc hitting hashirama wasn’t surprising to any of them)
what does tobirama do with the uchihas? he gets in between them and konoha. if they’re angry with him, they aren’t angry at konoha. he gives them something else to focus on- and tobirama likes rules, so it isn’t that much of a reach to say he’d think that being trusted to be the people keeping the peace was actually an honor- and relocates them. now they can cool off (but their fundamental nature will never really change)
i definitely don’t think most of that is conscious, but you know. he didn’t trust his father and if that’s who he relates the uchihas to, that’s fertile ground for another type of fear
butsuma was fine letting tobirama’s brothers die. what’s to stop the uchihas from letting konoha die?
konoha is entrusted to tobirama. again, though, he isn’t hashirama’s first choice
now he’s afraid of the village falling apart because of madara and his family (read: because tobirama can’t keep them in line) and hashirama’s dream will die because of tobirama
3.
you know what’s a bad idea? fucking around with corpses. you know what else is a bad idea? war crimes. you know what tobirama’s got a lot of? bad ideas
tobirama is intelligent and more concerned with the end result than the way to get there. he has a backwards idea of what protecting people means and a brutal approach to making peace. he loves hashirama (not like madara does but still, you know. he does love his brother)
the major difference between tobirama and madara is the sharingan, which should put madara in a separate class, but the thing is, tobirama is butsuma’s son
you awaken the sharingan by getting hurt. you’re butsuma’s son by learning to do the hurting
there’s a persistent fear that can grow with that knowledge, which i think tobirama wrestled with until he decided it doesn't actually matter- except for the fact that it would matter to hashirama. coupled with the fear that hashirama sees butsuma in tobirama and that’s why he won’t trust tobirama, that isn’t something tobirama could think his way out of
he might be doing the same thing butsuma did, causing harm for nothing
that fear is further compounded by the knowledge that madara would have destroyed everything and tobirama could do the same. without hashirama to argue with him, tobirama can do what he thinks is right. he knows more about making systems that last than hashirama did, so he’s going to put structures into place that will make sure the village survives
the thing is though, tobirama is well aware that madara isn't cruel for the hell of it. he says flat out that madara is dangerous because he loves so much; that intense love got twisted without madara wanting it to be (more below). he let it happen, but he didn’t just choose it
madara isn't just dangerous because he's strong. he's dangerous because he's the only person even hashirama can't just push around and he's personally invested in what he's doing. he believes that what he’s doing is right; he’s invested in being right
he’s following logic. it isn’t good logic by any stretch, but he isn’t just causing chaos just to cause chaos
tobirama follows logic, too. it’s better than madara’s logic because almost anything would be
he’s living his life for the purpose of maintaining hashirama’s dream. tobirama wanted peace, too, but he doesn’t call konoha his dream. konoha is hashirama’s dream. konoha is hashirama's village. tobirama is just trying to make it work
after all, he told butsuma and killed izuna. the least he owes hashirama is the village he wanted. not fun how hashirama would but run better because tobirama knows better
and lbr tobirama is also the second choice for the villagers. constantly standing in hashirama's shadow and feeling the distance between how loved hashirama was and how distantly appreciative the villagers are of tobirama could perhaps be alienating
4.
tobirama can’t protect konoha from madara because he knows he couldn’t beat madara on his own. hashirama and madara know that, too. everybody knows that if it came down to it, a fight between madara and tobirama would go in madara’s favor
madara has the same attitude but about the inevitability of people hurting each other
tobirama can’t control madara. madara can’t control people
the only way to be safe around something you can’t control is to destroy it
tobirama understands madara better than he understands hashirama. hashirama’s dream is impossible. it’s based on thinking people are better than they are. madara isn't right, but he isn't entirely not right
madara was the biggest threat to konoha, and because tobirama isn’t hashirama, he can’t do anything about that except, as the time between hashirama’s and his own grows, understand madara better
5.
this isn’t canonical but it isn’t non-canonical and i think it works so it's going in
tobirama’s palette swap happened because he found out how/why uchihas’ get the sharingan and in his child soldier brain that doesn’t know anything about genetics (but maybe did???), it seemed like a very sound idea to, you know, try to traumatize himself into developing a sharingan as a senju
but he has the wrong ¼ alien’s blood so he doesn’t get the handy dandy cursed eyeballs. what does he get?
obviously, he got his iconic look, tumblr user asotin. you just mentioned the palette swap
i did, and he definitely got his new style. but he got more than that
specifically: a terrifying insight into what uchihas have to feel when they awaken the sharingan. bc he didn’t get the eye upgrade but he did fuck himself up enough to flood his chakra system with pain and turn his eyes red (sadness makes you pale ig? he’s a nerd so maybe he just stayed inside and didn’t eat well. idk and that part is just to enhance how much more he looks like an uchiha than hashirama, who got the ‘be careful who you call ugly in middle school’ bonus)
the amount of emotional distress it took to get there? the shit he had to make himself watch? the things he had to make himself do?
if an uchiha feels that kind of pain just to form the basic sharingan, which isn’t as fucked up as the mangekyo, then please consider how that would feel to a kid whose coping mechanism is repressing
6.
there are rules about what you do in war and in society. tobirama likes rules. tobirama thinks rules will keep peace
so how could he justify violating almost all the rules to make edo tensei? i would like to propose that it isn’t just hypocrisy or machiavellianism taken to an extreme that made it acceptable to him to do everything that must have entailed. i propose that it’s all the fears above and a trauma response that everybody and their grandma knows now but they probably didn’t in the ninja sengoku period:
if you think i’m bad, i may as well be
in his conscious mind, tobirama isn’t bad. he’s necessary. the whole time he’s hokage, he’s doing what needs to be done
in trying to do what a good brother would do, in accepting that there’s something about him that’s malfunctioning, in accepting that his brother will never approve of him, tobirama accidentally became the worst parts of madara
madara did what he did out of love for other people. he’s got the mangekyo and a dead brother. tobirama knows what it’s like to get the first sharingan. how much worse must it feel to get the mangekyo?
tobirama is dispassionate and logical. he isn’t an uchiha. he values kagami and the other, unnamed uchihas who could overcome the curse of hatred, but that's also a condemnation of himself
tobirama couldn't overcome his own hatred. he’s worse than they are, and he knows he is
everything tobirama tried to do better, he made worse. his legacy, the students who carried on his work, nearly destroyed konoha
if hashirama had been forced to choose between tobirama and madara, it would have been better if hashirama had chosen madara. everyone is thinking that
madara betrayed hashirama because he loved so much it turned him against hashirama
tobirama betrayed hashirama because he didn’t have enough love, and every time he’s looked at madara, he’s seen his own inadequacy
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glittercracker · 4 years
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Kingkiller Crap
So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.
I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”
Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.
But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.
Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor. 
Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?
Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.
And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage? 
Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?
And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?
Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.
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constablegoo · 3 years
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@astralglam​​​​ filed a report .
mint: does your muse view themself as virtuous & moral? what do these words mean to them?
OHOHO. hey hi ily. this is, of course, one of odo’s deepest ongoing battles, and the moment he stops questioning it is the moment he becomes a founder.
the founders grant themselves god status.  GOD!  status. they just reach out and pluck it. Within their range of power, the founders become unquestionably Just and Virtuous and Moral, their Word becomes Law, it becomes “the way things are” and “fact” and they create their own reality stemming from thousands of years of intense xenophobia. they’re above it all. gods don’t make mistakes, right? sure, maybe changelings were hunted and feared ages ago but they still fear it, and that drive for Order and Control over the galaxy is now encoded into their genes and they place a companion structure into the genes of every other species they control, subjugating them to the founders’ own cozy position as Gods, or-- ‘gods’. the founder (i rly don’t like saying “female” founder so she’s THE Founder. she speaks for the link.) makes it quite clear on many occasions that the founders are not here to negotiate. they fully intend to control EVERYTHING at any cost. it is absolutely  chilling  when she cuts garak down with: “they’re dead. you’re dead. cardassia is dead.” and draws the line between the dominion and everyone else miles deep into the sand.
that same genetic coding is one of the first semi-concrete things odo comes to understand about himself and, horribly, he’s landed into conditions under the occupation that very easily could have taken advantage of a less meticulous or stubborn changeling. no, odo says initially (and incorrectly), i am not bajoran** and i am not cardassian and i stand apart from either side of this conflict and so i am bound to PURE Virtue and Morality because of it. he can’t be bribed or bought or won over, and he won’t allow for anything less than a kind of incorruptibility. this effectively wins him allies (and enemies) on both sides, however -- that’s just not how the universe works. the truth of it is that no matter how much he tells himself he is not a part of their regime, his working with the cardassians makes him a collaborator in that he has then recognized their authority and ultimately upheld their legitimacy, even if he never agreed with the cause, even if he was also on some level a casualty of it. at some point when he moves past ‘contract’ investigation and begins to work permanently, he falls into the trap of thinking Order is the same thing as Justice... huge yikes. in that moment he becomes a true and apathetic villain, but he’s subsequently haunted by the resulting execution of innocents. it shakes something up in him. years pass and he still wonders, what other mistakes has he made? what other less direct consequences of his ‘neutral’ arbitration exist? he (and everyone around him) has to live without really knowing, and it’s a constant reminder to him of the power he holds and it informs his understanding of what Real (and imperfect) Justice Means.
**sidenote but later in s7 he introduces himself as ‘from bajor’ and AAAAAA. its good. very good. yeah, you’re bajoran, odo. he gets it now.
Mirror odo is really the ultimate example of an odo having taken those instincts to extremes in an environment that rewarded him for them -- there is no guilt there, and even a sadistic kind of pleasure in it. i’d argue that gaia!odo is another, less extreme example of an odo who’s been alone too long and lost sight of things when he single-mindedly (and against kira’s wishes) chooses her (one person) over 8000. like holy shit? NOT ok? uhhuhhhhfff. anyway. very fortunately, neither of these are OUR odo, but act as great foils to reflect on the worst (bastard cop) qualities or potential qualities of our goo pushed to highly visible extremes, which star trek just loves to do all the time.
but regular/prime odo isnt exactly a rule-follower, either. throughout his life, he frequently takes things into his own hands, uses his abilities to his advantage, spies, wiretaps, eavesdrops, and yes, harasses [quark] sometimes -- he develops his own set of values and personal rules and follows them; even starfleet comes in wary of him and how he operates and hes on thin ice. but because of possibly his most redeeming quality, odo is able to adapt those self-ordained values toward something increasingly honest: for how rigid he can be in personality, he is HIGHLY influenced by the world around him,  listens hard  to what his friends and allies have to say and adapts that feedback; this allows him to evolve and grow and take important matters to heart. he becomes more flexible and better able to hold onto what’s really most important after locking into a decision, because above all else, he is passionately committed to doing the Right Thing. he PLEADS with himself in things past, “your job is to find the truth, not obtain convictions.” by his tendency to push back against what is laid down as ‘law’ (something he becomes more and more aware of and effective at doing) as not always being good or right, or necessarily even creating Order (the thing he’s driven genetically to want), he prepares himself to challenge the most deadly voice of authority -- that of his own people.
so... yes and no. odo’s role and persona as ‘your average security chief’ might dictate that he be virtuous and moral, but he so obviously can’t fit the same exact mold as others in his position -- he has these insane abilities and this mind-consuming nature and it requires he tread with extra care, but he also has a potential for more adaptive, more nuanced morality. he has to build up his own definitions to the words, constantly examine and tease and test them, or else he risks straying too far from what he really wants to achieve -- harmony, honest justice. he has to accept that he’s a part of the system he operates in (not, in fact, alone or isolated! something he actually wants), and know that he is not exempt from making the wrong choice, just like anybody else.
carnation: what is your muse’s relationship with their gender? how do they express or not express this relationship?
ODO AND GENDER!!! i love odo and gender. let’s take this one step at a time. he starts out as an amorphous glob -- he has no gender. there’s no basis for assignment, no culture of difference, and all the goos are goo. odo takes on the shape of the first living thing he sees / the thing he sees most frequently: dr mora. he adopts an image of masculinity from mora and he adopts the hair. that’s about it, and it’s pretty much arbitrary. (maybe the hair is simple enough for his skills, too?) the next people odo meets are also these very masculine, military, cardassian leaders, so again -- this is all he knows! this is neutrality. i imagine it takes him some time to work out what the differences in gender are, and sex, and orientation, romantic vs sexual stuff, all of that. it’s all got cultural baggage he knows nothing about and does not experience, and he’s also dealing with multiple, clashing cultures to boot. since he doesnt have any strong inherent leaning, he simply opts out. he/him becomes his default because thats where he started, thats what he’s been able to successfully present and how people know him, and, terrifyingly, under cardassian rule, it probably offered a bit of safety, too, which was obviously something he needed at the time.
way way way way way down the line in season seven, odo asks kira to (paraphrasing) look at me. what do you see? [i see you.] but this is NOT me, this is only a shape ive assumed in order to fit in. she says, yes, i know that. but this is who you have chosen to be. “a man. a good and honest man.” (i knowww shes not really talking abt gender here BUT) its hard as a trans person not to read the metaphor. he’s chosen to express SOMETHING. he’s chosen something other than what he was given (neutrality) and although he doesnt personally buy into what ‘masculinity’ “should be” (ie the ferengi, smh) / would certainly not argue he doesnt feel non-binary, this is how he has presented all his life, its how hes been treated, and it is what he has chosen to adhere to. there’s a choice in that, kira’s right, and now it reflects something about him.
parallel this, i’ll mention the “female” founder again bc of course there is no discernable reason for her to have a gender -- other than to appeal (im not talking sexually here although there’s,, obviously weird shit happening with the link... yike) to odo in the sense that until that point odo has lived with “gendered” individuals and, i think importantly, kira is with them when they first meet. i think its safe to say the founder saw her, figured she was a friend/ally to odo or at least familiar to him, and took her general representation to appeal as a friend/ally.
otherwise... why, honestly? the founder’s got NO love of humanoids lmao why would she bother.
anyway i’d like to see odo experiment a bit. because when hes safe, he can!! aside from his own doubts and insecurities about shapeshifting, at some point he really has no reason not to, at least a little bit. really, it should just be another thing to practice, much like becoming a convincing rock or a leaf, its just that there are other significances in the cultures around him. i’d just like to see him loosen up a little. have fun. grow ur hair out a bit, odo, why are u still looking like ur terrible dad.
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fanguuuhhhrl · 4 years
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Im kinda obsessed with I-Land right now. I love 23 boys and if possible i would like them all to debut but the elimination is in 30 minutes so im going to post my top 12 picks before it airs (kind of in order, kind of not, im biased, this is based on an unsure mixture of skill and personality, could change but most likely not):
1. Sunoo- BITCH!!! WTH!!! I JUST LOOK AT HIM AND MY SEROTONIN LEVELS BURST THROUGH THE ROOF!! He is a puppy!! He is amazing. If you didnt know anyone yet and you put all 23 boys in a line up. He will draw your attention with his sunshine smile :)))) he is so heartwarming. Most people be like "i have no filter" but they just be mean, but this guy is different, he literally has no ability to hide what he thinks but it never comes off as anything negative. He says "Me! I can do it!" but it's just endearing and never comes across as trying to show off. He says "there was a little bit of friction" and when the members look at himshocked, he looks at them shocked too.... theres no dull moment when he's in frame. It's so amazing how pure a person can be. But know that i am not just rooting for personality but for talent. his voice... His Voice!!! Vocally geonu and heeseung really slayed the butterfly performance but if you ask me, "save me" had a more emotional attack. His facial expression is just brimming of feelings. His voice is so raw. Also You know that part in save me where he transitions from head voice into chest voice really smooth??? You'll know what im saying if you see it. thats so fucking satisfying that i had to replay it so much. I definitely replayed the save me performance more times honeslty. And the way he dances!!! It might not be That refined yet but that's the charm... it's so raw and full of emotions... so like him. I can see myself stanning this group long term if he debuts with them.
2. Jungwon- tf i love this boy so much. his visuals already stood out to me when they were entering i-land, then his voice stood out to me in the first challenge... he did that hard ass choreography without any audible changes to his voice that i had to rewind that multiple times (more than the editor already did) then the moment i saw him dance the center in episode 4??? BOY???? BOY!!!! that was my breaking point... i can't believe im saying this about men but i already knew i would die for him... plus he is so sweet :((( his eyes are just so naturally cute but i was so shocked in the last challenge when he was able to pull off that fierce ass look.... i am devastated... im about the same age but my parental instincts are at work here. plus SPOILER ALERT to those who plan to watch he won first place in both the first and last challenge can everybody say jungwon ace
3. Geonu- my feelings for him are much like jungwon :((( except theres more parental instincts... and i say this despite being younger than him but whatever age is just a vibe... HE IS SO LIDDOL :((( i want to be his mom :(( at first, personality wise, it's hard to notice him bc he's a little calm and laidback... but its the little things that draw you to him :((( his glasses and hoodies just seem a little bit big on him and that just makes me smile for some reason... he cries silently when people are sent to the ground and he gets along well with the people... i noticed him first together with jungwon in the first i land challenge because they had the most stable performance. but i've never been more attached to him than when he sang butterfly (favorite bts song anyone??)... i honestly thought they could debut then and there and i wouldnt bat an eye... also it's so funny that the one thing i identified him with during the early episodes was the fact that whenever the camera pans to him, he just has the dead eye stare and parted lips (think: pokerface but confused) especially with the huge ass glasses but in the end the poker face thing that stuck to me became the thing that worked against him i cri
4. Jay- hold on folks this is going to be a long one. Jay has such a powerful personality that at first made me hesitant about liking him... idk he just seemed like the guy i would not vibe with in real life, but the longer time passed, the more he became one of my favorites and i root for him now like crazy. at first it was funny when they kept rejecting him for the vocal parts, but the more it went on, i was so sure that if it was me, i would have cried and dropped then and there, but it was so amazing watching him push through that and he didnt even lie about how he felt. his unique determination is such a breath of fresh air, a little heartwarming and oh so inspiring. i honestly learned a lot from just watching him. the time he went to the ground was so crucial to his development as a person, leader and performer. it was so mindblowing when he became the leader at the ground and even adapted heeseung's teaching methods. you know that meme "improvise, adapt, overcome?" he is the exact personification of that. what i loved about him the most is that even with his steely determination, he didnt enforce or project that on the other grounders, he just shared it with them. he understands when they need rest, encouragement or massages. he was such a caring leader. Skill wise- i can't say anything. He already proved himself so many times. Great dancer and potential vocalist. The mnet specials also show how much sweeter he is than the show shows him to be. He takes care of everyone, and has more of mother duck than street gang vibes (and he knows how to cook!!). And at the end, while he seems to be mostly self- oriented about debuting, he ends up spending most of his time teaching others and helping them improve. I just love him. Debut Jay 2k20!!!
5. Sunghoon- tf this guy is so cool and laidback that i didnt even pay much attention to him during the early parts but he just keeps crawling into my heart because so many members love him so damn much??? and he just goes along with them?? they want me to do triple axel while average people can't even do a single axel on a trampoline?? ok imma give them a double axel tho. jake is challenging me to arm flexing? yeah why not? k wants me to dance?? yeah lemme just spin 50 times. jay wants to shower together?? weird but im not strongly against the idea. ej wants to scare people? count me in. someone needs a hand to hold?? ok here's my warm hand to the rescue... everyone just wants to be his friend that he birthed my favorite sunoo scene "im cuter than him [jake]" and he was just like "yeah ok i guess so" sksjsk sunoo is that how you ask someone to be your friend jshdk??? and can i just say? as a figure skating fan, he has automatic +52536 points... and when the judges said he's the most natural performer out of them??? i vibed with that hard.. he dances well so naturally and he takes your attention without even seeming like he's trying to. that dance performance with k and jungwon?? i thought at first that his energy wouldnt catch up but damn boy my eyes were just trackingnhim the entire time unintentionallu that i had to rewind and he was just as great as all of them... with the additional benefit of being a stunt boy!! and though it might seem effortless, we saw that he practiced so hard for it. overall a 100/100 boy with a naturally charismatic personality that bleeds into his performance... as a fellow 02 liner i would also like to apply as his bestfriend thank you
6. Heesung- what can i say except he's a perfect boy ok thats it why are you still reading... jk... ok lets talk about him... skill wise?? I cried during the butterfly performance. i marvel at his vocal stability. his voice is so crystal clear. his dancing is so clean. his skills are superb but most of all, theyre already so refined. there's nothing more i could ask for. personaloty wise... i also have a lot to say... despite his celebrity status, it's awesome how he can make the other trainees comfortable with him. he's kind and soft and lovely.
but because i am me, i have to overanalyze people so idk skip this if you dont like that. for someone who's experienced being an academic achiever... i sure do vibe with his personality a lot... you know when there's a group activity and you're so sure you can lead it well but you don't want to? half because you dont want to come off as a show off and half bc you genuinely still have self-doubts, and you're scared of falling short of expectations. Also, you feel that if it all fails, you'll be responsible so you have to feel that everyone approves you before you can take leadership and show your entire thing. And the moment you feel validated and take the reins, you start unconsciously projecting your perfectionist attitude on people??? yeah... i love that despite being an almost perfect person he still has issues most people can find relatable and that, in addition to the talent makes me want to root from him. (im also going to take a stab and guess that his mbti is probs ixxp) i'll be honest tho, because its like 100 percent sure now that he'll debut, im not super attached to him??? i love him tho but he's just not in any danger so i can just let my support for him chill. i think amidst this, bc most of the trainees depend a lot on him, i mostly hope for him to take care of his mental health
7. Daniel- awww danielll... i went into i-land not knowing anyone's ages so i had a brief whiplash feeling when someone said daniel is 15... it's because he's so emotionally mature?? like he's such a supportive and caring person that it barely struck me the that he might be the youngest?? he already caught my attention when they performed "any song" bc they just seemed like they were having fun and doing their best without the pressure of whether they would win ir not, and for me that attitude is something you'd see from more experienced performers. and during the second ep when he just felt the need to comfort everyone bc he's got such a high score?? i loved that an i was so bummed out when they eliminated him. the save me performance was definitely a cherry on top that i just had to love him more than i already do... he may be young but he's as ready to debut as everyone else.
8. Jake- jake is just one of the people who showcased so much growth between ep 1 and ep 2. he already had the right attitude when they performed crown and he just had to improve skills and stage presence, and improved he did. despite being one of the trainees with the shortest training time, he was the one teaching the others by the end it just supports my theory that he might have been an ace as well if he just had the same amount of training as everyone else. im also truly in love with his mischievous antics. he seemed like an introvert to me at first but he came out of his shell and i love that. also i just crave more moments of him and sunghoon's friendship (they both seemed like introverts who found someone they could be extroverts with in each other) i am 👌this close to storming i land and demand that they let me join their merry little band of 2002 children
9. Niki- dance skills= 100 he's just so good it's unreal... it's insane... everytime he's on screen i hear boss musicand i cant even imagine him being younger than anyone, let alone taki. i get why some people dislike him but honestly i think it's just because they don't see him as a child... but he is. i was honestly a bit mad for him when they kept guilt tripping him into leading all of them, and i understood his tjought process when he thought he just kept failing everyone and when he thought things just kept backfiring on him. he is held on such a high pedestal and i dont think he deserves that kind of burden. as for me, it would just be a waste of talent to let him go. his attitude could still improve, as we'd seen when he eventually volunteered to help everyone. i also felt bad when he said that he's scared he might not be voted bc some people dont base on skills and i love him and i just want him to kmow that he's loved
10. Taki- what the hell can i even say?? he's the kindest softest boy ever. he tries to see the good in people and is very hardworking... he listens to people well and actually follow them, so he improves a lot... he knows people think he's cute and he tries and tries and tries to look fierce if the song calls for it... he is amazing
11. K- i really can't say anything, he really stands out during performances. also very pro at dancing. his choreography??? *chef's kiss* and i think the younger trainees depend a lot on him, besides heesung and so he's good at keeping the team together.
12. EJ- im really hesitant about the last person to be the twelfth i lander because it could almost be anyone and i wouldnt be too bummed out bc theyre almost all equally talented... the thing with ej tho is he already gets along well with the i landers and has harmony with other members. (plus see above: im a sucker for the 2002 line) i think its a tiny bit unfair to base it on this bc the others didnt even get a chance to show what they can bring to the group so im torn.
bonus: i wouldnt feel too bad if it were jaebeom (he has great voice, the producers think he's not too stand out bc he's weak at dance, but the i land is already so full of people whose expertise is dancing, so i think there should be someone who's specialty is singing), kyungmin (i really appreciated how hard he worked during the last test and it actually paid off, i honestly noticed him there even if he was always at the back. i also loved his determination and i was so touched when he and jaebeom were talking and he said "there's really nothing to do but believe in the impossible right?" it's just that the i landers were already ahead of him in terms of skills so he failed the votings) and hanbin (i've watched his cover videos and he's really good at dancing and stage projection. like i was honestly wondering why it wasnt showing in the performances :((( and he hadnt even had too much screentime to actually See what he's capable of.
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unordinary-analysis · 4 years
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EPISODE 157
I know I said I would be right back, but I literally forgot about this the second I typed that and then i literally got so exhausted I couldn’t concentrate on anything so sorry for literally wasting a bunch of time, but here it is lol
This isn’t proofread either bc its three in the morning and im pretty tired of reading words
Honorable mentions:
I really want to see Remi with her hair down. Like, without the bow, strands of hair in her face kind of down…
Every once in a while I have to say this somewhere: I need Claire to be returned to UnOrdinary, thank you, it’s been a while since I said that, i had to again
Not really gonna metion John worrying about Seraphina because that’s to be expected plus he doesn’t really know anything about why she was acting weird to it doesn’t matter
I think I’m going to go through all four of the characters in this chapter and talk about each of their stances because that’s the only thing i can think to do
Arlo:
God, it seems like I say this anytime the other royals questions his decisions. Arlo is the best leader that I’ve seen in UnOrdinary. His ability to see the bigger picture most of the time paired with his ability to command others and have them listen: he’s unique in this sense from all of the others characters in UnOrdinary.
And that’s why it infuriates me so much when the others question him, god. I’ve said this shit too many times, that I don’t want to repeat myself, but if you search up #episode 152, and maybe one other that I can’t seem to find, on my page, I rant about this there. Arlo is just the best leader ever and I want everyone to know that.
Anyway, so Arlo comes in all sulky and stuff. Sulky is far from the right word, but I can’t think at the moment i guess so yeah. Anyway, this is understandable. All Arlo’s been saying for forever is that everyone just needs to leave John alone. At one point in time, he was the only person who really knew about John that was of consequence (Meili and Ventus don’t really count. I wonder where they are right now lmao). He knew from, when was that, around episode 80? Anyway, ever since the other royals have become involved with Tuesday, Arlo always warns them against it. You would think that one of them would have listened to him, but I don’t think anyone did. Not even when they knew that Arlo had already fought him, that he knew so much about him. Still, nobody heeded Arlo’s advice, which he was only giving because he didn’t want to see any of them hurt. But the royals, especially Remi, ignored all of his warnings and now they’re in the hospital, so, yeah, it’s understandable that Arlo is kind of grouchy when he comes in. He doesn’t lash out though, because he’s a great leader and knows that will accomplish nothing except for lowering morale (i will NOT stop saying this lol).
Everything I said here is basically pointed out by Remi. Which is great. I appreciate that she doesn't look past her mistakes in an attempt to hide from her emotions like she did when she was fighting EMBER. Remi tends to ignore her own emotions by acting and while I get it, at the same time, it’s wildly irresponsible.
Anyway, back to Arlo because this is his section: his advice for what to do about John is that should just let him be, which the advice he gives every time that Remi has asked that smh, but at least she doesn’t really argue with this. She does try to shut that idea down though… but ill talk about that in Remi’s section. There’s too much of her in this one. I don’t like it. Anyway, back to what Arlo was thinking. Arlo, as always, has the right idea. He knows that there is literally no other choice other than to sit back and watch things happen because a. John is the rightful king and can do whatever he wants and it is not against the rules because b. John publicity defeated every single royal in combat. Some at the same time. It really isn’t an option for the former royals to try to fight back against him again because for gods sake, have of them are in the hospital…
Anyway, there’s not actually that much for me to say about Arlo in this one other than the fact that his leadership goes under appreciated and they always regret not listening to him.
Blyke:
Blyke is in sad boi hours right now. He hasn’t spoken a lot when Arlo and Isen arrive, but he’s probably lost in thought. Not good thoughts, bad thoughts. Blyke… he has really just lived out one of his worst nightmares, he’s given in to one of his biggest insecurities. Blyke failed by a.) not recognizing John as Tuesday even though they share the same down and b.) losing so horrifically to Tuesday. We all know Blyke is worried if he’ll be a good enough king when the time comes and Arlo has to leave. This incident didn’t help that worry. Blyke even talks about it out loud. I’m actually really worried for Blyke. He’s been hit really hard recently and it’s like he’s falling down this pit of self-hate and anxiety. My man was even bringing up like EMBER, talking about how he ‘failed’ then too, even though he clearly was the hero in that situation. He says, “So much has happened… with all that EMBER stuff… and now John becoming Joker… We couldn’t handle any of it,” which is what I just explained, but then he continues and goes, “I was already having doubts about my capabilities… But this last fight really opened my eyes. I’m weak.” This is Blyke’s really insecurity. The root of all of his other anxiety is the feeling that he isn’t good enough, that he’s going to let everyone down.
Also, Blyke doesn’t have anywhere to really go because, yeah, he shares a dorm with John, but that’s not that big of a deal right now because he’s in the hospital and he’s got Isen to go to like he has before. Still pretty sad though. The constant reminder of his ‘failure.’ Tuesday was his roommate that he treated like trash this whole time and now anytime Blyke thinks of his home, he’ll remember that. :(. I’m sad. I really like Blyke actually.
Remi:
Okay so I’ve already talked about Remi a bit in Arlo’s section. I’ll try to elaborate on some of that (barely) because this is the proper section.
First of all, Remi apologizing. I was happy about this because, it’s been too many times that Remi or some other royal doesn’t listen to Arlo. It’ about time someone apologized. I’m mostly happy, however, because Remi is finally acknowledging that she knows how naive she generally is, which always used to get on my nerves. I’ve called her a bad queen for this, and I stand by that still, but now it’s nice to see Remi herself recognizing that, even if it’s a bit of a sad thing to see.
But then literally the next thing that comes out of her mouth is that they have to go and stop John and I literally facepalm, I’m so sorry I’m probably being really biased here by my opinions on Remi, but really. Not much more to say on this other than I agree with Arlo.
I do have something else to comments on briefly, though
After Blyke spills his problems, his worries, after he says that he is too weak to even take care of himself, Remi says nothing. She just… sits there. This is probably one of the only instances in this chapter of Remi’s growth, but maybe I’m being a bit too harsh on her, but seriously…? I was expecting her to step in soon after Blyke started talking. I was definitely expecting to see her talk after Blyke says, “-this last fight really opened up my eyes. I’m weak.” Remi has always been close to Blyke. She’s also always been so positive and reassuring to others. I’m not sure if the absence of this in this scene is distance from Blyke (lost in her own thoughts), or agreement with what he’s saying about them. I don’t know. I just,,, thought this was something I should point out. She really left Blyke like that. But honestly, with how she was acting before, though, I think she’s feeling really similar to Blyke, herself. Both of them have been pretty self-deprecating this episode.
Isen:
After saying hi, Isen literally says one thing the whole episode and it’s that Blyke can stay with him, so there’s not really anything there oof. Would’ve been pretty cool to see him interact with Remi more, but I always appreciate Isen whenever, so it’s no big deal.
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Gavin and Tuesday: (two completely different ideas here. First one is right below this and second one is further below)
Now we’re moving to that scene of Tuesday and Gavin and like..??? What the fuck was that
Is John just going to go after anyone who’s ever hurt him before now? I’m not going to lie, it doesn’t make sense. John literally spent such a long time without using his powers and never really came close to using them until Arlo interfered. If he is truly going after the people that hurt him in the past, that’s a very impulsive thing to do, and John’s control over his own power and the restraint he possesses makes me believe that he isn’t an impulsive person. Maybe at New Bostin, but he’s changed since then. I know know he’s being forced into a similar position to that he held at New Bostin, but after all this time, and the horrendous experience that John’s already lived through concerning his old school, I still believe that John would try to avoid the same thing happening here at all costs. Even when he snapped and went after all of the royals, he only did it to take down the hierarchy, which gave power to the powerful and took from the already weak. It just doesn’t make sense that John’s going after Gavin now, someone that’s only real connection that I believe we know of to John is that they fought in like episode two or something. Gavin is barely a mid-tier. If John really was trying to stay away from being the monster he used to be, I don’t think he would purposely hunt this one kid thats much weaker than him and literally barely interacted with him. It’s clear that John would win that fight, so what’s the point.
And obvious argument is that maybe, John is slowly turning back into the person he was at New Bostin. Maybe even after all of those readjustment classes and reflecting and repressing of his powers, John still can’t run from who he is, what he is. Maybe the monster that surfaced at New Bostin, maybe he can’t escape that.
And as much as I love that, which I admit, I would (do you know how interesting that would be?), I’m not sure if the evidence supports that..? I don’t know, it might, but the fact that all of (all of them right?) the times John has fought someone has either been as revenge for hurting Seraphina or because he was trying to take down the hierarchy, which I’ve already said doesn’t support John returning to the person he was. For all of his attacks, John has had something for each: a motive. This isn’t that special, though because John had motives even back when he was at New Bostin because literally that was the entire plot of that history lol. I don’t know. So basically, this fight with Gavin is very reminiscent of whenever Tuesday would fight those people that hurt Seraphina.The royals were the result of a feeling of injustice, but everything else stemmed from the motive of revenge. John has always used his revenge as an acceptable motive when deciding whether or not to act on something. Whether he realizes it or not, it’s the real connection between him and the old John. Their need for revenge ruined everything for them. John couldn’t handle when Claire betrayed him so he beat her up as a consequence. Hunting down Sera’s assaulters and absolutely demolishing her kidnappers show this too. And so does this scene. John is hunting down Gavin over revenge, and as long as John fuels his need for revenge, he’ll never be able to truly escape his past. So maybe the evidence does support John slowly regressing back into the person he was, despite his wishes. He’s changed so much since Now Bostin, but sadly, he hasn’t been able to shake his tendency to hold grudges until he literally cannot contain them any longer and he lashes out.
It was kind of weird how hesitant John acted at the end of this encounter, though, because he just let Gavin go, but I’ve decided to ignore this because the fact that the character this happens with is Gavin, I refuse to believe that this whole thing is insignificant (wrong word but words are hard.)
Second idea:
Okay so apparently the person appeared as Tuesday at the like middle of this episode, apparently there’s a chance that it wasn’t actually John. This has been brought to my attention in the comments of this post so this little bit has been added a day after I initially posted this.
The argument is that because the person presented as Tuesday in this week’s episode has yellower eyes than John does, it could be some person only pretending to be Tuesday, which is obviously a possibility because Tuesday has already been established as the most powerful student at Wellston, but nobody know who he is. So any random mid-tier or something could just put a mask on and use a bit of their powers to scare anyone off (anyone would be too scared to fight Tuesday) and they’ll basically control the school cus people would take the imposter for the king. Anyway, before I get more into this, here are the pictures comparing John’s Tuesday and this episode’s Tuesday:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It’s pretty clear that the eyes of these two characters are a different color, but not too different that it’s that noticeable, which is why I didn’t notice this at first until it was pointed put to me. I wonder if this was even intentional... I feel like, if uru-Chan even ever meant for people to notice that Tuesday looks different, she would’ve used a much more different color. Or maybe one of the people that help her with coloring forgot what color eyes Joker had because John when his powers aren’t being used: they’re yellow. So, I’m not even completely sure that this Tuesday in this episode isnt John.
But at the same time... there’s some things I can’t help considering that make me think it’s more and more likely that this is someone different. First of all, this is honestly something really big to miss. Uru-Chan is a professional... it’s hard to believe she could’ve let this slide when her work has always been so meticulous. Also: with the way things went down this episode... it was kind of suspicious. I already talked about it a bunch above in the first part of this section that I posted first. But I didn’t really touch on why Tuesday just let Gavin walk because... well, I’ll be honest, I didn’t really know what to make of it. I even said that I’d elected to ignore it because it confused me... But if the Tuesday from this episode really isn’t John, then it all makes sense again. Like I said earlier in this half of the section, someone impersonating Joker wouldn’t really have to fight anyone to benefit from his power because everyone knows that Joker could kick their ass anyway, so it’s pointless to pick a fight. If this episode’s joker had decided to pursue Gavin, it could’ve lead them to a fight they would’ve been unprepared for.
Obviously, there’s more to talk about for this theory, like what this could possibly mean for John, for Wellston, or who it could possibly be, but because I’ve already posted this as a separarte episode analysis, I would rather save that for either a separate post this week, or as part of the next episode’s analysis. Thanks for reading and sticking with me and thanks @sunshines-and-tatertots alerting me to this lol.
Cecile and John:
So, Cecile’s understandably pissed at John because he isn’t claiming his power and that’s literally the only reason she’s siding with him. Because she wants him to be the king. I makes sense that she’s upset that he’s literally doing nothing instead of becoming king which would be the natural thing to do.
John’s response is literally that she needs to calm down, and while I get that he doesn’t feel the need to shove himself into the spotlight especially considering how he wants to keep his secret from Sera, that’s just going to piss off Cecile more. Or at least is would if she wasn’t so terrified of John, which she obviously is. I think John is more than Cecile can handle, and she wasn’t excepting that. Hell, it probably takes a lot to get to that level...
This has me thinking though… what could this kind of turmoil cause…? I’m hoping that maybe (pretty pretty please), Cecile will try to leave John’s side and join Arlo and the other royals the money i would pay to see that ugh… that potential…
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glasyasbutch · 4 years
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8, 14, 25, 27, 37! d10 option, but do 2 per question if you wanna answer w all your characters!
finally i have time on my laptop to type this out ........ thank you morgan for my life ................ (i had to roll this d10 so many times cause it refused to pick anything but 5, and while i have a lot of thoughts about gildy, other characters need love) 8.  If they were given 1000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would they do with it? Gildy: obvious answer here is build her own forge from the ground up. like hello. how sexy of her to do this. but like, she misses the bustle of being around people all the time so it’d be open to the public for demos/lessons. are teaching forges a thing? they are in my world and she runs it and its full of tiny little dwarven babies who probably shouldn’t be allowed access to burning hot metal but like she’s a cleric so its fiiiiiiine Ezra: this is a toughie for him but the dice are forcing me to think. My first thought for him would honestly be give it away to some farmers or something, since he’s never really been the kind of guy to have personal possessions or things entirely his own. like. he grew up in a temple and then spent the next large chunk of his life doing 24/7 hospice care for someone, he’s never owned a house, or had things just for him. his whole life has been about community and sharing, he’d feel bad using it for any of his own desires. 
however, for the sake of the question, if he has to take it and do something with it himself. big fat library. (where will he get the books from? don’t worry about it.) he only has 8 int but he thoroughly understands the value of knowledge, and you know, little selfish bonus. a huge collection of books like that is his best shot at finding something out about cate
14.  What’s a personality trait they wish they had?
Ebbie: Confidence. Not necessarily in the sense that he doubts himself, though he does a fair amount, but mainly what he wants is the ability to make other people believe him when he Does think he can do something. He doesn’t want to be “trying to make something of himself” in everyone’s eyes forever. He’s already made something. 
Nissy: Absolutely nothing he’s perfect how he is how DARE you insinuate that he could need ANYTHING added to his finely manufactured personali- (Patience. He has so, so many years to go ahead of him and he doesn’t know how to make things last. He’s worried that if he keeps letting people and interests slip through his fingers like sand he’ll have nothing left to hold before he even reaches his final lifetime.)
25.  If there was a day held in their honor, what would people have to do on that day? Craving: ooooooooooooooooooooooohohohohohohoho. Oh boy this is ,.... this is tasty. I’m thinking a sort of mardigras crossed with the purge but less murder in which the vibe is “fucking anything goes, you’re the tits so damn well act like it”. extravagancy, over-dressing for the occassion, blatant gluttony, open container alcohol, if you think it’s pretty its yours kinda attitude. tons of costume jewelry on your body and trinkets in your pocket with the expectation that you’ll swipe some and others will swipe yours, and you’ll come home with a new selection of “finery”. the nice things stay locked at home. restaurants offer free food and stores have huge sales, card games and county fair style side shows in the middle of the street. an excuse to indulge recklessly. Udoora: so like, there’s Kind of already a day in their honor cause the whole town has their yearly festival where they pray to the goddess and go yo whats up lady is your champion stepping down or are we re-blessing the one we already have!! but that’s not specific to doora. one Just for her... country town festival. think bilbo’s 111th birthday minus the magic fireworks. whole city comes out to party, tons of food, music and dancing, the streets lined with wildflower garlands. stories and laughing around a bonfire as the sun leaves the sky, reverence for the people around you and the place you call home.
27.  What makes a person beautiful to them?
Stella: Gentleness. Now you may read this and go how the FUCK did she end up with craving, and the answer to that is: this question said “beautiful” not “extremely sexy”. she got together with craving because she was horny and THEN she fell in love with craving’s soft side. (Her favorite physical aspect of craving is her hair. she loves to run her fingers through it, because it’s always inexplicably soft, in comparison to the horns and the barbs)
Stella grew up in the woods though, learning to tread light so as not to scare an animal or disrupt a nest. Her favorite place to be as a kid was calf-deep in the slowest part of the river. She knows the soft kiss of the sun on shoulders and the cushion of moss under toes. She was raised in the gentleness of nature, and she longs to see that gentleness reflected in humanity.
Hedja: Now this is an interesting one bc I’d explicitly decided against romance if I ever play them (not that if they don’t pursue romance they’re incapable of seeing beauty but it’s not something i’d thought much at all about). I’d say humor, levity, optimism. The ability to find any speck of brightness you can and kindle it. They don’t care much for physical looks or appearances, but that belief in happiness around every corner is what makes them continue to serve their god, because they find it to be the most beautiful part of life.
37.  What do they think is a conspiracy? Tov: so. a conspiracy that he believes is true is that rowan and sloan are fucking to make him and moos jealous. we know this. but a truth that he believes is conspiracy ... you know i’m gonna say that there’s several warlock patrons who are definitely real in d&d canon but he refuses to believe that they exist because he had such shit luck trying to contact them with rax. (don’t ask me which ones i don’t know enough d&d lore for this) Roona: my god. she’s the perfect one for this holy shit ... she’s about 30% convinced that every thing that’s been said to her for her entire life is fake and she’s part of a really fucked up social experiment, so there’s that. she’s also a strong believer in the “we’re all in a simulation” theory, as well as “i’m the only one who’s alive and everyone else is a simulation” theory. she waffles on and off as to whether all the gods are actually just one guy. there’s one town she passed through where she’s sure the king has been dead for years and is being puppeted around by a necromancer group running a shadow government. there’s no fucking way math is real, everyone’s bullshitting numbers bigger than 100. not really a conspiracy but since getting the ass spoon she doesn’t believe in the societal value of forks cause she’s been doing just fucking fine with her spoon and her hands only thank you VERY much.
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bigskydreaming · 5 years
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So this is...its a thing. Let’s go with that. I’ve been calling around LA for pretty much all of last week, going through every oral surgeon I can find to see if they do the surgery I need and what their schedules are like, how soon I could get into surgery, etc, and also I’ve been asking literally everyone I know if they know of anyone, have a referral, etc. Even reached out to this old client of mine from back when I was doing sex work, years and years ago, to see if he knew anyone in LA with connections at Cedars Sinai or another hospital, like, to see if they could even just check with their hospital to see what visiting doctors specialize in that kinda thing. Keeping in touch with people from my sex work days, lol, is not something I normally did, or do. He’s literally the only one, and that’s because it just....kinda happened? *Shrugs* He's not a regular presence in my life or anything like that, just the only one from those days that for various reasons, I kinda kept in casual contact with - which for me pretty much meant that I called him or he called me like, a couple times a year to just be like hey how you been. And it’d been a couple years to be honest, cuz like....*gestures at the last two years* 
LOLOL. I guess I just have very low standards for people keeping in contact with me. Who knows why. One of those inexplicable mysteries I guess.
But point is, he got back to me like, the same day, and acted as a go between for me with this old friend of his, who works at Cedars Sinai as a chaplain, their non-denominational one...last week, at the time, I was only focused on the advice part of the email he sent after he asked around the hospital for recommendations, and it kinda didn’t even register that this guy wasn’t just....had connections at Cedars Sinai, but was actually working there himself (for some reason, I thought he was in a different state when first put in contact with him, whatever). Let alone what his title there was. So he gave a recommendation that I’m following up on today, and I just called the old client of mine who put me in touch with him to clarify a few things he’d say, and it only then hit me where this friend of his worked, and so I asked how long he’d worked there and turns out it was two years.
Which was...when my aunt killed herself. And that was where she worked.
So. Like. This random guy who I’ve never met before, doing a favor for me as a favor for this guy who used to pay me for sex and kinda almost accidentally ended up as like...a casual but distant friend, is literally the guy who was hired to replace my aunt as the non-denominational chaplain at Cedars Sinai when she died two years ago.
And I don’t have the first fucking clue what to do with that?
Like....I’ve always considered myself ‘comfortably agnostic,’ like I’m more than willing to believe a higher power exists, I’m just not all that concerned with forming a definitive idea of what that might be or look like or want. I hate organized religion with a passion because lol, repressive Catholic upbringing, and I’ve just never felt a particular need to go out and look for faith in anything other than myself and like....the things in life I actually value, y’know? I’m of the mindset that like, I figure if I do things cuz they’re the right things to do and try and live a good life where I’m helpful to people and empathetic and compassionate, whatever that Higher Power’s specific deal is, they’re either gonna decide that’s good enough for them when I die, or if its not good enough on its own merits, like...idk why I would even want anything from them or anything to do with them anyway? Like sure God, send me to hell because the only thing that really matters in the end is I didn’t sign up for your official email mailing list or whatever the fuck. Nope. 
So religion and faith and spirituality have never been a big...thing for me, or part of my life, its not something I really feel like, a void for not having or whatever. I don’t have an issue with what anyone else believes or why, up until the point where their personal faith apparently requires them to like....impinge upon my actual life and ability to live it the way I choose to....but I’m not like that dude who goes around trying to poke holes in peoples’ faith, just like...respect that I’m not interested in a sales pitch and we’re cool, y’know? Like my aunt was a chaplain, literally the only person in my family who ever kept in regular contact and like, made a point to check on how I was doing and shit and like...idk, loved me, is I guess the word to use? LMFAO. But like....yeah, she was the only relative I actually felt valued by, and thus the only one I really had anything like a regular or ongoing relationship with....*shrugs* So like yeah, whatever. She believed things that I don’t necessarily NOT believe, but more just have never felt a need to explore or try and decide just WHAT exactly I believe or put a name or a description to it.
And I’ve never been someone who sees signs in stuff that happens, nooooooot a fan of fate or destiny as a general concept and like....I’ve got no problem believing that things like ghosts or demons or anything like that could exist, y’know, things that just can’t be explained by science or anything near to our current understanding of reality at least....I’ve just never had anything remotely close to something I would describe as an encounter with the supernatural, or demonic or divine or anything really...spiritual, I guess?
So.....I don’t know what to feel about this, lol. Like, I’m trying not to read anything into it, like y’know....a sign, haha, not because I wouldn’t like to think that my aunt is still looking out for me in some way, I guess, maybe? Like, of course I’d like to think that, I miss her. A lot. And actually have been randomly thinking about her a bunch lately, like at weird times like, I don’t know what it is that made me stop and think of her, my thoughts go there? So I mean....I’m just saying....it wouldn’t break my brain or upend my entire worldview to accept that could actually happen or be a thing, its more just that I’ve gotten my hopes up so many damn times this past year in specific, that I’m just like....I cant afford to pin my hopes on THIS, like that this is ‘a sign’ that this time, its going to work out? But at the same time, its SO FUCKING SPECIFIC a connection like, and in such a WEIRD fucking round about way, that its pretty much impossible NOT to try and read something into it? Like, the guy who replaced her never even MET her, she’s literally just the woman who had his office before him and well. Is probably just remembered as a depressing story around the hospital, to be totally honest, cuz like, there’s not a lot of follow up that tends to happen when you ask so what happened to her and the answer is well, she killed herself, y’know?
So its like, how do you not get your hopes up even just a little bit, from thinking about that......which I figure means, oops, further to fall and crash and burn if this lead fizzles out too and I got my hopes up for nothing, but if it does pan out, like....I guess that’s kinda the point of faith in a higher power in the first place, lol, to hope for better or believe that there’s a point to all this or a place this all is headed, idk.
But then also now I just fucking miss her too, like, even more than usual, and thinking the shit I’ve tried really really really goddamn hard not to think about for the past two years, like how I know she had her own mental health struggles and even physical health issues, and I know better than to fucking blame her and yet there’s that part of me that wants to fucking throw a tantrum about how i need her and how could she leave me alone with just the rest of my useless fucking joke of a family, but then there’s the other part of me that’s like well I obviously wasn’t the help she needed either, so its not like I’ve got any right to think I was owed her presence or help or anything like that, its just. Idk. I miss her. I need her. I love her, like there’s so many things I want to tell her that I never got the chance to because I didn’t just fucking take the chances I had when they were actually available and there are so many more things I wish she’d told me, and just. I knew she cared, at least. No matter how detached I felt from the rest of my family or just like...fuck family in general, lol, she was the one person there who I never doubted like...just cared. About me. Gave a shit, showed up, wanted me to actually be happy and wanted that to look like whatever I wanted it to look like, didn’t give a fuck what other people thought my happiness should look like or require.
And its just like, maybe this is just a really weird, strange, major coincidence or maybe its a sign of something or proof of something and maybe it doesn’t even matter, bc like...I was just gonna say that its not like I even NEED the answers or to know, but like lol, dumbass, the fact that I’m actually asking the questions or getting worked up over whether or not I actually believe this means something or I just WANT to believe it means something, like, would tend to suggest I’m shitting myself and I DO actually want the answers which suggests maybe I’m not actually as agnostic or at least not comfortable with being agnostic as I’ve told myself, which....oh fucking hell. Am I having an existential crisis? Is that what this is? Jfc I better not be having a fucking spiritual awakening or whatever the fuck, like that is not what I need, this is NOT the time for that, literally nobody asked and I should know, Ive been here the whole time and nope nope nope this guy is not your ‘but the real salvation came from finding strength and purpose in something greater than myself in my most dire time of need’ narrative or whatever like I FUCKING REFUSE, my belief system can go to the BACK OF THE LINE until I’m good and ready to deal with it on MY time, I didn’t sign on to do a rewrite of some modernized Book of Job shit, literally any other thought in my brain is invited to step the fuck right up because THANK YOU, NEXT, I just willingly made an Ariana Grande reference because I can think of nothing more suitably over the top dramatic short of tossing my hair which is much too short to toss but again I insist nooooooooooooooope.
Like, love you and miss you Aunt Diane, and if that is you looking out for me plz know I’m very grateful even tho it totally doesn’t sound like it, but like, you know me well enough to know that I like....object to this timing and context on principle, WHICH YES HELLO I AM AWARE SOUNDS FUCKING STUPID NOW THAT IM TYPING IT OUT YET IT PERSISTS SO LIKE WHATEVER AND STUFF....just. I am me, and thus I shall super gratefully take like....just a smidgen of hope and optimism or whatever from this offering so like, I don’t want to be RUDE, but then Im gonna put the rest of it back in its box and shove it alllll the way to the back of my Pressing Priorities and unpack all that at a very fucking much later date, thank you ever so much, because like....I gotta be me, and I have been partners in crime with my Cynicism for way too long to just bail on him now, like, what kind of person would I be if I just cut and run on the anthropomorphized negative outlook that has helped see me through life oh so jadedly until now? 
Ugh wtf, why am I like this, is it free will or is it God or is God even real or did Cthulu eat god or is God’s actual name Sonya and like I have no clue where I’m going with any of this, look the answer is obviously that a faithless blasphemous heretical fucker has phone calls to make today, and nobody’s finding the light here, nope, nope, NOOOOOPE, my motel’s one shitty lightbulb works GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
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marshmallowgoop · 5 years
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Satsuki meta anon here again, apologies, but I was reading some meta that you wrote surrounding Soichiro/Isshin and his relatively necessity to abandon both his daughters, and wanted to contribute my own thoughts on the matter, specifically around the matter of difference of the nature of how alone both of them are. You nailed it completely with Ryuko. Isshin left Ryuko alone, wounded by his severance of their closeness in her early years and making it nearly impossible to bond with others. But-
-my reading of Satsuki’s situation is one of equal isolation, if of a different kind. Soichiro introduced her to a world where she can’t even trust her own mother, usually one of the, if not the most, strongest bonds a child could have at that age. Coupled with the fact that she was likely taught early on that being a child of a family with the wealth and power meant that people would try and use her for a piece of that, and you have a recipe for a grieving child incapable of trust without major investments of time and effort and frankly, some testing. 
Soroi is in the employ of the family, paid by the family to serve Satsuki. In the beginning, while she accepted his attempts to comfort her via tea and an introduction of one of her closest friends, its very likely that she didn’t trust him right away even if she desperately wanted to bc of how closely money could play a part in that kind of trust. Yes Soichiro asked Soroi to look after her, but is that something he could have easily conveyed to her at that junction and have her believe it? I think the trust they attained by the time Satsuki went to middle school was very hard earned on Soroi’s part. 
When it comes to Nonon, the light novel confirms that she didn’t find Satsuki interesting until she was very deeply troubled, a change that Satsuki very likely noticed the difference in her interest beyond that of two children of powerful families associating together. They may have been friends since preschool, but arguably Satsuki did not trust her until Nonon followed her away from a school that suited Nonon’s tastes and into a rougher one. Iori likely suffered from being placed in a similar boat as Soroi, not to be trusted for the sake of his uncle’s employment until proof otherwise (obviously earned as well, considering just how central Iori was to her plans and inner circle). 
While Ryuko was utterly alone because of a broken ability to bond from separation anxiety turned to abandonment issues, Satsuki found herself alone among others who might very well sell her out for power or money, regardless of their true intentions. Both are very isolating situations. And I’d argue that trusting people with plans and secrets and perhaps your life are markedly different than fully entrusting your heart to them, which has been played up by the anime as a large difference between Ryuko and Satsuki. Where Ryuko opens her heart to Mako and Senketsu, Satsuki’s heart remains closed still until far later.
In fact, because of this, Ragyo saying ‘give your heart over to me’ (Netflix subs, I think I’ve seen it translated as ‘entrust your heart to me’ as well) has always stood out to me as understanding Satsuki doesn’t trust like that, which is what separates her from Nui and Rei. 
Apologies for the length of this, and that I keep doing this your inbox, but this interpretation has been sitting inside of me since 2014. 
Oh my goodness, Anon!
I hope this doesn’t come off wrong, but I think you really ought to be posting these analyses under your own name. You deserve credit for your excellent work! As much as I’m thrilled that someone would want to discuss these topics at such length with me—seriously, you do not have to apologize at all for engaging with my content so much because that is literally my goal—I feel that you should also be getting recognition for what you do. I know how much time and effort goes into writing stuff like this.
Of course, I do understand that there are valid reasons to wish to be anonymous. I just want to say that these are good, detailed posts that could stand very well on their own, without any input from me.
Regarding my input here, these asks remind me of a line from “KILL la KILL Digest -Naked Memories by Aikuro Mikisugi-,” a quick recap “episode” that was included as a DVD/Blu-ray extra. Narrated by Aikuro, the short briefly explains the entire plot of Kill la Kill and then sets up the OVA with its final lines: “As for Satsuki Kiryuin, who led such an intense life ever since she could remember, totally alone… What kind of clothes will she choose to wear from now on? That’s the one thing that intrigues me.”
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As you might expect, I always disagreed with the sentiment of Satsuki being “totally alone.” In the tags of one post, I even wrote, in response, “Nah man you’re thinking of Ryuko” and, “Satsuki had Soroi and Shiro and her Elite Four.” As I argued in the essay that you’re probably referring to, Isshin/Soichiro left Ryuko alone—and drj2008 even opened me up to the idea that he perhaps very purposely created and utilized Ryuko’s loneliness so that she would be so desperate for love that she’d bond more easily with Senketsu—but Isshin/Soichiro did at least assure that Satsuki would always have someone by her side when he told Soroi to look after her.
And I think that’s the key point of difference here. I’d never before considered that Soroi would need to gain Satsuki’s trust because I assumed he had it from the very start. My interpretation was that Soroi had to be a dear, close friend of Soichiro for Soichiro to ever ask him to look after Satsuki, and Satsuki—who adored her father, arguably to a troubling degree—wouldn’t question her father’s judgment. From the moment Soroi and Satsuki met, I believed that she would know, just by understanding Soroi’s relation to her father, that Soroi was someone to be trusted.
But I see now that my reading makes a lot of assumptions. Who knows when exactly Soroi told Satsuki that Soichiro had asked him to look after her? Satsuki might have been informed that Soroi was her father’s choice in some way (which is… actually quite curious, honestly), and Soroi might have told her that he knew everything early on, but you’re right—we don’t really know. I think your reading is very fair.
Concerning Nonon, I agree completely. I found Nonon’s part in the light novel to be absolutely tragic. Talking about the story, I once said, “It just shows how Satsuki did not trust Nonon at all.” Nonon was head-over-heels infatuated with Satsuki, but Satsuki didn’t even bother to tell Nonon when she was moving schools. That’s the exact opposite of trust.
I swear I don’t normally talk about my fanfiction in my essays as much as I have been in these responses, but I explored Satsuki and Nonon’s dynamic in a short Satsunon Roman Empire AU. In my piece, Nonon learns that Satsuki is going away by hearing some chatter, and to prove to Satsuki that she’s worth trusting, she runs to Satsuki before Satsuki leaves, declaring that she’s coming with no matter what. At the end of the fic—and this is the relevant part here—Satsuki meets with Nonon again after the world has been saved, and Satsuki finally opens her heart up, noting that she wants Nonon by her side, as a friend and equal, and she’s done with being treated as a goddess to be worshipped.
And I think that’s a big thing you’re touching on here, Anon. Satsuki may have had all these people around her, but many of them considered her to be something more than human. And that is lonely. It’s difficult to reveal your insecurities and doubts and fears to someone who sees you as a god. After all, they’re probably not going to listen; they think you’re “above” all that. Satsuki was very much isolated, just like Ryuko.
However, I still disagree with Aikuro’s assertion that Satsuki was “totally alone,” mainly due to Soroi. Regardless of how long Satsuki took to open up to Soroi, I think she most certainly had trusted him with her heart at least by the events of the series. The moment where the two converse about Soroi’s tea in episode 17 is probably the most telling example within the show itself; Satsuki smiles genuinely for Soroi and even reveals her hidden emotions, readily admitting that she may have been more compassionate in the past.
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I can’t definitively say how much Satsuki let Shiro or the Elite Four in, but Soroi? There is complete and total trust here. And while I dislike comparing Soroi to Senketsu because I feel this too easily lends itself to the interpretation that Senketsu is a father figure to Ryuko (which is my absolute least favorite reading of Kill la Kill and one that I consider to be a complete and total misreading of the text #PleaseStopSenketsuIsRyuko’sDadTheories2k19), I do have to admit that Soroi is, for the majority of the anime, the one person whom Satsuki seems to truly be herself with, just as Senketsu is for Ryuko. 
Concerning the episode 17 scene mentioned above, I think it’s also pretty telling that Satsuki’s moment with Soroi occurs just after an intimate conversation between Ryuko and Senketsu that the script even emphasizes as a heart-to-heart that Ryuko deliberately wanted to have with Senketsu and Senketsu alone. Sure, I’ve argued in the past that the real connection between the scenes comes from Ryuko’s later chat with Aikuro and the fact that both Aikuro and Satsuki are discussing Soichiro/Isshin, but it’s also true that both Ryuko and Satsuki have very vulnerable, humanizing moments here. Soroi knows Satsuki’s heart, and she reveals it to him, just as Ryuko (quite literally!) shares her heart with Senketsu.
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Of course, I think it’s clear that Ryuko’s relationship with Senketsu is one among peers while Soroi takes on a fatherly role for Satsuki in the place of Soichiro, but Soroi is still someone whom Satsuki trusts with her whole heart and soul. As pointed out, it may very well be true that Satsuki didn’t have that kind of trust in Soroi immediately, but I figure it can’t have taken too terribly long for the relationship between them to become close. After all, as noted in the aforementioned episode 17 scene, even young Satsuki smiled for Soroi when she had stopped smiling at school. Satsuki wasn’t being genuine, yes, but she was still breaking her hard guise for Soroi, and 18-year-old Satsuki is even surprised that she wasn’t honest back then, implying that she feels they’ve been as close as they are since practically the beginning.
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I know this got terribly long, but I don’t at all disagree that Satsuki had also been subjected to an isolating situation. It is lonesome to feel, as outlined in an early advertisement introducing Satsuki’s character, that “humans are clothes-wearing pigs” whom she must “dominate,” “rule over,” and “destroy,” all while “relying on no one.” It is awful to believe that you have to do everything all alone, without sharing your true self with anyone.
And it’s sad, too! Satsuki’s struggles to truly trust others lead her to inadvertently hurt the people she cares about, and there’s something especially tragic about how Satsuki used and manipulated her own sister—whom Satsuki was fighting for all along!—rather than tell the girl the truth and trust her. As I’ve written in the past, “While Satsuki is not truly against Ryuko, her plan prevents them from being close. The thought of Satsuki fills Ryuko with hatred… when they could have been allies and friends. Satsuki’s tired, sad frown as Ryuko returns to normal [after going berserk in episode 12], juxtaposed with the Mankanshoku family’s shock and Nui’s bemusement, does well in hinting that maybe Satsuki wishes she had Mako’s power herself… and she’s sorry that she doesn’t.”
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But more than all this, even Ryuko points out how alone Satsuki is after fighting Satsuki to a draw in episode 15. Ryuko only gets as far as she does by putting her complete and utter faith in Senketsu—and notably here, she follows through with his strategy even without knowing exactly what he intends to do—and she recognizes that Satsuki… doesn’t bond like that.
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In pushing a point like this, I think the show definitely wants viewers to notice that Satsuki is stuck in a hard, isolating situation where she feels she can’t entrust her heart to anyone.
But I think the show also wants viewers to notice that Satsuki is more than capable of loving and trusting in the same way that Ryuko does. Ryuko doesn’t have a clue about someone like Soroi when she accuses Satsuki of being by herself, and as I’ve emphasized all throughout this monster of a post, I wholeheartedly believe that at least Soroi had fully earned Satsuki’s trust, even if it took a moment. Satsuki just about always had someone she felt safe with, whereas Ryuko… lost all that when her father abandoned her and didn’t find it again until she met the Mankanshokus and Senketsu. There’s a reason that one of Ryuko’s defining features is her loneliness, pointed out in her character introduction with the line, “Ever since I could remember, I was alone,” in her (and Senketsu’s) theme song “Before my body is dry” with lines like, “But I’m all alone,” and, “Don’t wanna be all alone,” in her fantasy world in episodes 20-21, and even by the cast, such as when the Mankanshokus note that Ryuko has to be super lonely to talk to her clothes or when even Ragyo tells Satsuki to go join her “lonely little sister” in death.
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Ryuko gets a lot of heat for not being as strong as Satsuki upon learning her true origins, but I argue that you can’t really blame her. Even if Satsuki closed off her heart to most people, she undoubtedly grew up with a support system that Ryuko did not have until practically adulthood. Satsuki manages to keep her head up and carry on not only because of her immeasurable resolve and ambition, but also because she has a lifetime of love and support. Satsuki is not as alone as Ryuko claims (and I’d really like the Satsuki-centric Kill la Kill the Game: IF to elaborate on Ryuko understanding as much), and I feel that Soroi is genuinely an unsung hero of Kill la Kill. Could Satsuki have been nearly as strong without his influence?
I guess this is maybe a bit off topic, though.
In any case, I definitely agree that Satsuki struggled to open her heart to others, and I definitely agree that this is a hard, sad, awful place to be in. Part of what makes Satsuki’s team-up with Senketsu near the end of the series so sweet to me is that it is here that Satsuki really begins to open up. She doesn’t look down on Senketsu, she acknowledges his feelings, and in a cut moment from the script, she even outright tells him to wear her, thereby fully and completely trusting him to work with her and save Ryuko. Senketsu noting that his and Satsuki’s “hearts are as one” in episode 21 is one of the most heartwarming things in the entire anime when you consider everything that Satsuki has gone through. She’s been afraid to trust and afraid to show her true self to anyone, and yet… to save her sister, she opens up her heart to someone she had once considered evil and incapable of love.
And after this? Satsuki, despite saying in her introduction that she will be “bowing down to no one,” bows down to Ryuko.
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And she smiles openly.
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She laughs.
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Satsuki was absolutely stuck in this lonesome, isolating position. But just like Ryuko, she gets out of it—and just like Ryuko, it’s so incredibly, incredibly sweet that she does.
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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years
Text
Eeeeeeeeeee!…
… Ahem.
Fire is back at it again w/ Ryusoulger raws bc she really liked this episode, and is really excited for the next one.
In no order:
Aw. I think Touwa is a little lonely. ^^ Life when your older brother is literally terrified of other people, but just pretends he’s angry all the time.
Kou is so happy. XD Banba doesn’t care, but Touwa clearly likes being obnoxious. ^^
It was clever of him to bring something to keep them from walking away. XD
Touwa’s like, ‘you give us the map,’ but Kou is like ‘no, wait, I stole this!’
This was actually really refreshing. ^^ When was the last time Touwa had someone to act like a kid w/? These two are absolutely going to be the little sibling problem children. XD
Banba is so very done already. Welcome to your new life, honey. <3
I love Kou being fascinated by Touwa’s leaf-cutting abilities right up until Touwa claims he won. XD
MY BOYS GET TO TRANSFORM AND ROLLCALL!!! TT_TT
Still gonna cry my little eyes out when all five of them finally do the ‘blades of justice’ speech. ^^
The problem children are at it again. XD
Oh, Melto’s breaking out the ‘sensible one’ voice, too.
I need new emoticons.
Tankjoh knocks Kou and Touwa into a fountain and Banba is just… There suddenly. ^^ Like, ‘hello, did you just hit my brother?’ Also, cool reveal shot w/ that water splash.
I… I think there’s a pun going on here.
Banba totally just held his own there, against Tankjoh. XD Like, he might not have made any headway, but he did manage to essentially tie w/ the guy who’s been taking everyone out in one hit. Though I’m not sure how much longer he would have lasted had Tankjoh hung around.
That was a more muted version on the big brother voice than we heard in the preview.
Aw, Touwa feels bad. It’s okay, sweetie. Literally, though, his brother is the only person he’s ever apologised to. Admittedly, it’s only been, like, two eps.
If what created this Minusaur is meant to be foreshadowing/hinting at the general thing I’d like to think it’s hinting at, good on you, Ryusoulger (I mean, I love you anyway, you’re really helping me get through the week, but, also, hell YES).
Touwa’s also watching Banba when Kou asks about killing the kid. DX I definitely think Touwa is not quite as desensitised as Banba has gotten to be.
Notably, Banba says nothing, nor does anything. I don’t know if he’d already figured out who the Minusaur’s real host was, but I highly doubt they’d have him be willing to kill a kid… Esp if I’m reading what I think the implications are right about his and Touwa’s family. I’m thinking even more that he almost exclusively raised his brother, I don’t see him being willing to actually harm a child w/out remembering that.
Kou produces the map, and immediately gets chastised by his mom and dad friends for stealing. XD
Melto is absolutely the mom friend and Asuna dad friend.
Baba retreats against the wall rather than join the huddle. XD One day, sweetie. Being part of the team means being part of the team hugs meetings.
Oh my god… It goes by so fast, and when I first watched I was watching the four in the foreground… When Melto say something––I think it’s about splitting into teams?––Banba’s head snaps around and he looks shocked/freaked out for a moment… Like, you can hardly see it over the map, Kou’s shoulder, and Touwa’s arm… Might try to get a screen shot and put it at the bottom of this post.
He promptly retaliates by ignoring Asuna. XD
It’s okay, Asuna, it’s not you, he hates almost everyone. Also he’s probably trying to get this over w/ bc he’s worried about his brother.
He totally only agreed to these teams to foist the problem children on Melto for awhile, though. XD
Melto spends this entire scene finding out why, too. ^^
But he intercedes as mom friend just in time when things start getting growly again. :D
New face!
Banba being the one to connect the Minusaur’s behaviour to an adult/older person playing w/ a child… Is he thinking of him raising his brother, or back when their parents had time for them? (I’ll explain that a little later)
‘Children, I won’t kill. Neglectful parents are fair game, I have issues. >:K’ Oh, Banba. DX Obviously this outlook wouldn’t go away after one episode, but I do think what spawned the Minusaur here is meant to reflect something about his and Touwa’s past…
Okay. Touwa’s reaction when Banba explains (quite nice of him to include the trio in that call, too ^^) that the Minusaur could have been born from the father’s guilt at being too busy to play w/ his son. That really looks like it’s hitting a chord. I mean, he’s transformed, but there’s a dramatic silence, the camera spins around him, and there’s a ‘shing’ sound like something important is occurring. So I’m thinking that maybe that Banba ended up essentially raising his brother bc of that same reason––their parents were too busy, or something like it, to be w/ their children at all. Maybe they didn’t used to be like that, and where around for Banba’s childhood, but something changed by the time Touwa was born and they weren’t there for him, leading to his brother stepping in. And then, presumably, they died at some point. Bc something screwed these boys up, and I really wanna know what, Toei!
Kou just runs away w/ Melto and Asuna. XD
THEY WERE STUCK! BUT NOW THEY ARE FREE! HOORAY! TT_TT
And what does an angry cat do the moment you let it out of its cage? XD SCRATCH.
Mister ‘give advice like I wasn’t ready to kill you two minutes ago, no hard feelings’ Banba. ^^
Also, speaking of that line… Not only is it clearly set up for Banba’s motivations next ep, it convinces me even more that something happened to their parent(s)… ‘Nothing is more important than family’ is a stock Sentai theme, but here we’ve got it coming from mister well-intentioned extremist anti-hero man. Really wanna know what happened to these boys… Hopefully we’ll get more info next ep?
Vaguely disappointed that Banba named MirNeedle. XD He almost smiled, though. ^^ Also made a really cute face when he heard Touwa and TigerLance approaching, too. <3
Actually, that look make sit seem like he’s really (secretly?) glad that Touwa stopped him…
I sit corrected. This is where the ‘didn’t think you’d stop me’ line is from… Eh, maybe it’s his catchphrase. XD
But now I’m also like, is there going to be a sort of ‘YJ¡Batman and Robin’ angle to them? I still currently hc that Banba secretly carries a lot of guilt for the things he’s willing to do for the mission, so it would be interesting to see a plotline about him being invested in Touwa not turning out like him.
And maybe if one or both of their parents were awful… Could be he considers it too late for him to not end up as some level of as bad, but he wants to try and protect Touwa from that? Maybe he didn’t think he could before, but he’s wondering if he can use these three to do that? I dunno, I’m just stream of consciousness-ing.
His eyebrow game was on point this episode, too…
Alternatively, maybe their parent(s) merely died before/not long after Touwa was born, so he never got to meet them, and that was why he took it so hard? Hmm…
I dunno, Touwa, I’m not sure you want them rubbing off on you. These four are absolute dumbs. I love them, but they have no sensible judgement abilities.
Preview?: I am SO EXCITED. Was not expecting the ‘Touwa gets hurt and Banba breaks down’ ep so soon. ^^ Makes sense, though. It’s definitely going to show the trio he’s not as stoic as he’s been acting––not to mention how much he loves his brother. Hoping we also get some more solid info on their past, too. Apparently he and Kou kind of start to bond, so it looks like we’ll be beginning the beginning of the adoption process. XD Gods, I hate having to wait another week… Well, at least there’s stuff going on next weekend, so I can get through the day faster. ^^
Virtual truffles for anyone who read all that. No, not the mushroom, though you’re welcome to those if you prefer them. XD
All in all, I liked this episode, I’m curious as to whether it really does reflect/foreshadow/hint at something about the brothers’ past (I hope it does), and I am very excited for the next ep. Also, there’s the possibility of getting more scans and stuff, not to mention the announcement for the newest Ultraman! Hopefully, I can keep myself busy. ^^
Also, those moments I mentioned:
See? He goes from largely disinterested and looking away…
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… To being almost alarmed.
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Well, it’s hard to express w/ caps, but… I dunno. Looks alarmed for Banba, I guess. His eyebrows go up for a moment, trust me. DX Also, smiling about his brother:
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I really think he’s happy Touwa stopped him. ^^ (I made a valiant effort to try and include the eyebrow thing he did, but failed).
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Also, even if it was about something serious, and I think there was some serious meaning behind it, there was also a cute, teasing ‘big brother’ sort of edge that was really adorable. XD
Hardy handshake for anyone who counts how many emoticons I used in the course of this post.
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