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scificrows · 8 months

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Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this #i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything #i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha #i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass #and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭#i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise'#also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just #couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah #also uhhh this data is very subjective #i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call #also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them)#but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly #so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance #i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!!#but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol

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yea-baiyi · 1 year

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i keep thinking about the odyssey i am THINKING about wei wuxian as odysseus. you were dead. its been years since you’ve seen your family. the child you left behind is almost a man. you wear a face they don’t recognise, you sneak in through the back door. the dog gives your identity away. the world knows it’s you when you draw your weapon. the person you love recognises you by the original symbol of your love—a secret that no one else in the world knows about, still, because they kept it safe for all these years. you get the chance to go back and despite everything, you found home waiting for you; he kept your place and raised your son and he was still there waiting for you when you got back. tell me o muse, about a complicated man i am extremely not okay

#cql #mdzs #wangxian #wwx #lwj #meta stuff #greek mythology #i am not fine i am not sane in the slightest #no idea if i’ve posted something similar to this before #i definitely started my odyssey journey thinking about them but then i got sidetracked with. the actual odyssey #i have been on an absolute greek tragedy bender though so there’s. plenty more to come. but also. HHHHH #the dog thing is so silly but i couldn’t help keeping it in because that is SO funny #this is soooo self indulgent i am sorry for subjecting u all to this #thank u to helendamnation my beloved for listening to all my rambling this weekend about this #jesus. home waited. the odyssey is about many things but it is about a man coming home.#and despite everything. he gets to come home. and he gets it because his home waited for him.#despite him being dead. despite the gods. despite the suitors and the pressure and the doubt.#in most stories home moves on without you but this time. this one time. home waited.#homeric hyperfixation haze

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autisticaradiamegido · 4 months

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thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?

day 356

BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails

truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute

#day 356 #year 4 #dave strider #aradia megido #aradave #homestuck #she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D #boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY #and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave #the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia #yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first #but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point #she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff #and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease #because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC #shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy'#shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-'#'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about'#'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it'#i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like #at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze #but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends #ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies #i will be here waiting patiently

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snackugaki · 4 months

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surprise my other hobbies are window shopping and fashion

#something something having hobbies across fields genres media and subjects can only enrich and influence your artmaking #because Mikey strikes me as a maximalist #Donnie gives me vintage and statement pieces feelings #Leo... minimalist with a sprinkling of avant silhouettes and a dash of retro #Raph... just wears what April suggests with the barest idea of what he likes #wherein my iteration April is deep in the goth an punk scene so she gotta drag this turtle man through her closet #legoclacking my usual linework with fashion illustration was a fkkn trip #god there's a look from Balmain RTW AW 2016 i wanna put my Leo in.....#fuck it I will who's gonna stop me?#balmain?#i'm so curious what the kids will tag this as #i say tagging everything but what this is #snack iteration?#my iteration?#i know the red blue glasses is gonna get one of these kids tagging it as rise #others gonna clock their li'l dumpling heads and tag as 03 #what they don't know is my iteration is mainly based off Archie run comics and Next Mutation #mehehehehehehehehe #...hiiiiiiiii kiiiiiiiiiing #OuO #accessories was tough because I like it costume and avant #so it was a miracle finding a “normal” bracelet #and a bigger miracle it happened to feature the water trigram #mwah mwah beautiful coincidence #weekend negates demon hours stop snitching

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fromtheseventhhell · 2 months

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Very funny to me how Stansas present her character as being so interesting and complex because of her vulnerabilities, while simultaneously ignoring those same vulnerabilities in other characters. Dany is sold as a bridal slave and lacks agency throughout AGOT and after. Her dragons are either too young/small to utilize effectively or locked away for the majority of the story. They aren't some all-powerful trump card that protects her from harm. Arya is captured as a prisoner of war, forced to watch countless people tortured and murdered, and then essentially enslaved in Harrenhal with no way to fight back. She has an entire arc of feeling powerless, of being a "mouse", during ACOK. She doesn't have "kung-fu" or the ability to magically fight her way out of every situation, she's a young child lacking physical strength with only the most basic sword training.

Sansa isn't the only female character, she isn't the only young character, she isn't the only character who suffered, and no one is obligated to prioritize her. I'm so tired of Dany and Arya being mischaracterized and having their stories erased to prop Sansa up. "Sansa has kept her dignity" In other words, let's praise her for having a level of security that Dany and Arya don't have access to. She hasn't ever been forced to make a hard decision which of course means that she's morally superior to them. They can't even admit to themselves that her lack of action is due to her own passivity. If it doesn't fit their delusion, they erase it from the story and expect the rest of us to play along. Ask one of them what they like about her character without bringing up her being the ultimate victim, and I genuinely don't believe they'd be able to give you an answer. They belittle other characters more than they talk about her and these takes just scream insecurity/jealousy at the content and development other characters have in their POVs.

#arya stark #daenerys targaryen #anti arya bs #anti daenerys bs #asoiaf #anti sansa stans #these being comments on a video of a stansas /correcting/ a Dany stan...the jokes write themselves #/she's a break from the fantasy/ /people would be equally powerless in her situation/ like they aren't even pretending #that they don't use her as a boring every-man self-insert #okay she's subjectively /normal/...what is interesting or important about that in a fantasy novel? 😭#Arya and Dany are so interesting because they have that complexity...vulnerability but also the strength to navigate their situations #and it isn't because they're /special/ it's because that's who they are as characters #Reducing Dany to her dragons or Arya to her combat abilities (which barely exist) is such a disservice to their arcs #but of course acknowledging that they're well-developed and empathetic doesn't square with their fantasy that #Sansa is the most pure important character who deserves everything because she suffered 🙄#they really write entire fanfictions and then go /why don't people think like us?? 😔/#/Sansa kept her dignity/ yeah that's why she's currently part of a plot to poison a disabled child #because she was told she'd benefit from it oh yeah she's sooooooo morally superior to Dany and Arya 😑

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sysig · 6 months

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Okay but TSP/Portal crossover AU is such a cool concept, how have I never thought about that before?? I'd like to request Narra and GLaD hanging out watching their respective little guys go through tests like 'can you believe them they're so dumb <3'

Day 30 - They're absolute hellions

Bonus:

Noooo, my bucket!!

#My art #Requestober #Portal #The Stanley Parable #TSP #GLaDOS #The Narrator #Stanley #Chell #They're just all so antagonist towards others lol #I think Stanley is a terrible influence paired with just about anyone but honestly I think Chell would adopt him haha #She is also a chaos gremlin and enjoys taunting and flouting the ''rules'' - deservedly lol #It's hard to imagine GLaDOS or the Narrator just accepting that they've been dropped into a crossover haha #They're both so fixated on their respective protagonist that someone else is just strange! Odd!! Unwanted!!#And at least GLaD and Chell are at the homefield advantage - the boys are in a whole new environment!#The Narrator would freak the heck out lol - but if they got past the initial without everything combusting-#Well actually I can imagine GLaDOS getting fed up with Narra hogging the PA just to say what Stanley is/should be doing lol #''He is clearly ignoring you why do you bother'' ''It's my job! My duty!'' *explosion* Pfft #I do like the idea of GLaDOS referring to other people's test subjects by other lesser names #Something along the lines of I'm the only one who gets to call mine a test subject because I'm doing Real science haha #All these dynamics! How the two protags would react to each other and their respective voices reaction to each other and each's inverse #Too many to think about right now lol gimme a sleep or two on it haha #Although Portal/TSP crossovers have been around since they both existed concurrently ♪ Still they're fun to think about!#It is fun to imagine Stanley following behind Chell through the portals until he gets distracted #It becomes a bucket quest real fast lol - They poke around Rattman's bunker and Chell gets sad and Stanley ''helps'' with a distraction #Trimming GLaDOS down and doing a halfbody for Narra and then chibis for the rest - it's all about the right math right? Right lol #Only one more! Ahh!

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evignonita · 4 days

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i want to write a pasnerv fanfic

#girl wants to do everything #☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️#i'm slowly dying because of school #last week i missed most days because i wasn't ok and now i have thousands of assignments and essays😭#i miss being 12 years old #anyway #i think I'll post something in the next few days i think i just think #insane me #pascal curious #nervous subject #pasnerv #nervscal #ts2 #the sims 2

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lilaccatholic · 2 months

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I am once again thinking about the reluctant ruler whose arc justly and correctly includes assuming the throne and taking responsibility for the people set before them

#it's about simba coming back to pride rock it's about aragorn using andúril to fight for middle earth and assuming the throne it's about #hiccup marrying astrid and assuming his role as chief and moses returning to egypt #and it's about irina loving her people so fully that when she claims all of her subjects as hers that chernobog must release them to her!!!#and it's about miryem choosing to stay with the staryk and repair the damage and assume responsibility for the land and people!!!!!#and! it's! about! gen!!!!#it's ALWAYS about gen!!!!#gen who didn't want to be king. who hated being king and only wanted to marry a queen but who obeyed his gods and became a king over kings #who lost his home and half his family and his HAND but who ushered in a new golden age.#and it's about sophos who ran away but who shot the ambassador and took back his kingdom #it's about duty and it's about sacrifice and it's always ALWAYS about doing the right thing even at great personal cost because it's about #submitting to a power higher than your own. of recognizing that the calling on life is one for serving others and having so much more to #answer for than just yourself. it's knowing duty is love is duty #i cant stand stories where the answer is 'give up the throne and reject your duty' because no!!! you dont get it!!!#thats how you get the monsters!!! thats how you get the prince turned into a beast and thats how you get every terrible weak king that #aragorn feared becoming #to accept your throne is to die to self!!! you are no longer you but 'king' or 'queen'#it's like queen mary says to qeii in the crown 'elizabeth mountbatten must die #elizabeth regina must take her place.'#that's terrifying! but it's also everything!!!!#die! to! self! die! to! self!!!!!!#lilac rambles #lilac goes to the movies #lion king #prince of egypt #lotr #spinning silver #the crown #tqt #the queen's thief #httyd

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thefiresofpompeii · 3 months

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i have a maybe lukewarm maybe hot take about this godforsaken show that some people could find mean, but i stand behind it, no elaboration (okay, some elaboration in the tags below… a lot of elaboration)

opinion: if you claim to like clara’s dynamic with the doctor and her character development in series 8 and 9, but simultaneously say you hate the impossible girl arc/elevenclara, you don’t actually understand anything about their relationship and what makes it the way that it is

#elaboration: it’s about the parallels. it’s about clara being the object of a mystery; the subject of a story VS writing her own story from #the name of the doctor onwards: refusing to become a puzzle box but taking it a step further and seeking to become the author of the #puzzles. it’s about her being chosen by missy all that time ago; because she was; among everything else; an avatar/projection of her #complicated feelings for the doctor in a way. a proxy that doesn’t know they’re a proxy #it’s about the mirroring of the impossible girl arc and heaven sent/hell bent! clara choosing of her own free will to splinter her identity #into millions upon millions of shards; dying over and over in every reality to save the doctor. compare to: the doctor choosing to spend #millions upon millions of years killing himself; dying over and over for the chance to save his clara.#the intertwined devotion! the complexity of their codependency! none of that would have developed the way it had if not for #clara being eleven’s impossible girl. she had to be a ghost story before she became a love story; and aren’t those two one in the same; as #stated in hide?#clara oswald #the impossible girl #twelveclara #whouffle #whouffaldi #doctor who #dw #peter capaldi #matt smith #jenna coleman #twelfth doctor #twelve #eleventh doctor #eleven #jamie catches up #jamie.txt #elevenclara

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naturecalls111 · 8 months

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Wish I never had to sleep I wish I could just stay awake all the time and do nothing but draw and had no responsibilities

#nc111 talks #I remember once telling a friend that my ideal partner is one who takes care of everything for me #i dont even have to love them they just help with everything i need to have to survive while i draw #and she was shocked #she said she didn't expect that from me and that it couldn't be healthy i felt that way #and i was like #well. yeah. thats why its an ideal. that would never work ever in an irl context. the inevitable power dynamic diff is why i dont pursue it #like. i know thats not how irl relationships work and i would never subject a partner to that #i would never want someone I love to actually just deal with shitty stuff themselves while i stay selfish lol #hence why its a fantasy where i dont have to focus on an unachievable romance #i have a fantasy of the perfect romance in my head but the other ideal seems more attainable. that's why say fuuucckk it #someone does my taxes while i draw #imagine.... WHY WOULDNT THAT BE IDEAL?#Anyway im just rambling because i have class tomorrow and im upset i cant just stay up all night and draw everything i want to #anyone want to take a guess why im so extremely charmed and in love with sanji... LMAO

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girlgerard · 6 months

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mommm white people on tumblr are misconstruing my posts again despite the post being entirely about how important wording is + how i don’t feel comfortable posting large statements when i haven’t fully processed them yet.

#if you want to put me on a blocklist for loving netanyahu you can! i don’t! and no matter how many times i get told i do #i still don’t!#i literally said i hope his balls get cut off IN THAT POST #i don’t know how that read as unclear.#perhaps there are no hidden genocidal messages behind the wording of my tumblr posts - who knows!#when i said i cared about every single civilian living in that land i meant it. if you decide that i actually don’t that’s not my problem #if you somehow took my words and decided that what i really meant is that i’m a government bootlicker who loves murder #you can do that all you want. it won’t make it true and it won’t help save any lives #i was in ramallah and jerusalem six months ago. have you gone?#if the answer is no maybe think about that for a second #moreover if you’re viewing this from a purely racial or religious framework you have no idea how to navigate this subject #i don’t view israel and palestine through which government i want to back. why the fuck would i do that #palestinians and jews and everyone else in that land is who i care about. i care about gazans #if that’s not enough of ‘a side’ for you i don’t really think there’s much of a conversation to be had.#do you think i wake up every day NOT thinking about gaza? do you think i wouldn’t feel nauseous every second of every day because of gaza?#do you think that within everything i’m saying that the most logical conclusion would be to post all of my thoughts on tumblr?#because if you think any of that we’re not going to have a productive conversation. i don’t take kindly to being told my own emotions

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 7 months

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Leonardo: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and MC!

Literally anyone: So MC knows about this?

Leonardo, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp mc #AIGHT BUT NO CAP THAT'S LIKE HALF OF LEO'S RT #when i say this one makes me start chortling on sight IM NOT KIDDING #i will never get over how funny he is sometimes #like yes there's the tragic backstory and horrible childhood but #the inevitably hilarity of a grown man 400 yrs old yelling I WONT SUBJECT MYSELF TO THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING K N O W N #i love you leonardo. truly i do. now just follow this trail of cigarillos into this Totally Not A Therapist's Office--#its hard for me sometimes because he absolutely means well most of the time but #he always makes me think of that post of like #'thinking you need to sacrifice every second you're with a person isn't love. and i'm sorry for whatever made you feel like it was.'#leonardo: ask for help? ill Die First.#mc with a bat aimed at his head: first time for everything--

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aroacettorney · 3 months

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for a character with a reputation of being extremely rational and logical, many of ludger's actions are actually quite emotionally motivated. even when he stays oblivious to his true emotions, there are still many instances where we can see how they unknowingly manifest in his actions and subtly influence his biases. i think ludger's second most toxic trait is that he tends to subconsciously cook up a seemly logical reason to spontaneously cover up his emotional ass because he cannot admit to himself that he feels emotions intensely.

exhibit A: his vengeance for arte's death required him to admit that he had a strong attachment to the kid, so he stated that eliminating the evil and offering solace to the victims were the actual reasons. counter: there were many better ways to deal with delica's incidents if his goal was simply enacting justice. even hans realised that this was a weak excuse to conceal his regrets.

exhibit B: his mercy towards aiden required him to admit his unwillingness to eliminate him, so he covered it up by reasoning that it would be too risky to take a student's life. counter: we know very well that he's fully capable of eliminating someone without leaving a trace if he puts his mind to the task.

exhibit C: his sparing casey's life twice required him to admit his disinclination to kill her, so instead, he reasoned that she was more useful alive and that her excessive pride wouldn't let her easily expose him to the public anyway. counter: strategically speaking, turning her against blackdawn was an obvious blunder. he didn't even need her to deal with them. plus, somehow he conveniently forgot at the moment that casey could still have told her best friend, terinna, about his identity regardless of the matter of pride and subjected him to even worse danger.

exhibit D: his taking owens under his wings and founding u.n. owen required him to admit his emotional bonds to them, so he claimed that he needed a strong fortress for his goals and his own protection, especially against the bretus. counter: considering his op-ness, he had never really needed protection. he also mainly tasked owens with leg work while dealing with most of the dangers by himself. he even ended up disbanding them to confront bretus on his own and telling them to prioritize their lives over his goals.

at first glance, his reasoning might seem sound and logical, but if we look at them for more than ten seconds, they are actually quite flimsy and contradictory. this is not to say he's inherently an idiot or a terrible liar. ludger's capability of reasoning is proven comparable to that of casey. he is also an excellent liar when it comes to deliberately lying to someone. but how does one reason or lie about feelings that they themselves are not even aware of?

my hypothesis:

when his suppressed emotions subconsciously influence his biases and/or manifest into his actions, ludger needs to convince himself that he is still being logical, and thus, without even realising it, he tries to rationalize them and grab onto whatever reason that momentarily sounds in his mind: why was he so dedicated to teaching his students? he couldn't get caught half-assing his job, and he wanted to earn the trust of the president. why did he save esmeralda? quasimodo annoyed him, so he had to step in. why did he delay the first princess' orders and prioritize the students' safety during the attacks on the capital? it was the princess' trusted blade himself who suggested saving the students, and not him. why did he accept casey's companionship during his moriarty's era? it was an act, and he was simply getting into his character.

whether ludger wants to admit it or not, he has always been a person moving according to his emotions. and the actual reason why we see so many inconsistencies and hypocrisies in his actions when aligning all of them together with his own logic is that his reasonings are only flimsy excuses that his subconsciousness makes up on the fly to rationalize away his repressed emotions, i.e. his strong attachments to this world.

#academy's undercover professor #academy's undercover professor spoilers #ludger cherish #ludger is a very unreliable narrator #because what he actually wants and what he thinks he wants are two very different subjects #it says a lot when even tho his end goal is breaking the cage and reclaiming his past he still ended up risking everything to save grander #trust not his words but his actions #if you ever find his reasoning for his actions contradictory/hysterical there r good odds that he's lying his ass off without even knowing #conveniently he also tends to not think about these excuses for more than ten seconds #you may also see some of this behaviors in casey bc thats how alike they are #food for thought: what does this mean for the fiances arc?#ahem. that will be left as an exercise for the readers.

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soracities · 9 months

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Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.

One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.

Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.

Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.

Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)

I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.

I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.

I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?

The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.

It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.

The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.

I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.

You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.

We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?

I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?

If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?

This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x

#i think in essence what i'm trying to say is that #some things are true in a microcosm but you cannot make a universal application for them bc the microcosm isn't representative of the whole #and it is dangerous to assume that it is or that it can be bc you're erasing the bigger picture when you do that #it would be like a poc saying they never felt the pressure of skin-lightening creams which is amazing but it doesnt change the fact that a #whole industry exists selling skin-lightening products BECAUSE there is a demand for them and that demand exists BECAUSE there is an #expectation that they SHOULD be used and this is because there is a belief that lighter skin = more beautiful. regardless of how messed up #and damaging that logic is that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the world #and therefore those industries exist to maintain that belief because that belief is what drives their purpose and their profits #and we are doing no favours to the countless poc who DO feel pressured to subject their skins to these products or who come away with #a deeply damaged sense of self-worth (not to mention the internalised racism that's behind these beliefs) bc of constantly being told they #are less than for being darker than a paper bag which is RIDICULOUS #saying its all down to choice is not far off from saying you can CHOOSE to not be affected by the pressure but like....that's just not true #you can't choose to not be the recipient of colorism any more than you can choose to not be the recipient of sexism. and its putting a huge #amount of pressure and responsibility for an individual to just not be affected by deeply ingrained societal pressures and expectations whe #what we SHOULD be doing is actually tackling those expectations and pressures instead #they are leaving these systems intact to continue the damage that they do by making everything about what you as an individual think and #believe but while we all ARE individuals we dont live in separate bubbles. we are part of and IN this world together. and it acts on us as #much as we act on it. but like.....i think i've gone on enough already #ask #anonymous

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