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herstarburststories · 3 years

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the first step is always the hardest.

Pairing: au!dean winchester x reader

Summary: Huntercorp!Dean asks you out on a date.

A/N: I'm happy with how this one turned out. It's very different from my usual to do, but so cute! au!dean lives in my and in brazil right now sjhsjs. Anyway, this is my part for @firefly-in-darkness 2k challenge! Congrats again, honey. My prompt was “I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe.” And this was requested by @anaelsbrunette.

Warnings: mutual pining and adorableness.

Some things aren't supposed to be hard. In Dean Winchester's opinion, this is one of them. What he's about to do isn't quite professional or preferred by his dad -- although, not exactly against HunterCorp's strict code of conduct. Alright, he might have to report to HR about the relationship due the anti-harassment policy if you two ever get that far, but that's another point. The fact right now is, it shouldn't be this hard to blurt out a simple 'would you like to go out with me?' towards the woman he had been pining for weeks.

Dean asked girls out before, and three out five said yes. Usually, his goofy way of flirting is enough to make them take the lead. When it doesn't happen, though, the Winchester laces his hang out proposal with wiggling brows and a suggestive smirk. They'd laugh and a date was settled.

He isn't shy. Dean gets embarrassed easily and yes, he is a little too spoiled to have a larger vision of the world, but he can get his way with the women he's interested in. Therefore, it shouldn't be that difficult, right? In theory, safely hiding in the back of his head, it isn't. The hunter remains passing some vague steps on his mind: 1.) Go to you. 2.) Try not to get lost at the sight of you. 3.) Don't try his Spanish to impress you because it's not going to work. 4.) Smile in a boyish way, just being cool. 5.) Ask you out. Samuel said it was a good plan. He just needs to execute it, get through his words and make them into actions.

So why is it so excruciatingly hard?

You, a HunterCorp's rookie, recently graduated in their new worldwide program to recruit willing hunters that weren't born in the life. You are smart, bilingual, pretty, strategic, spontaneous, and strong. You laugh loud as if joy should be going inside everyone's ear, but you also fight to kill with both words and trained combat skills. You, one of the best hunters of HunterCorp, which is the only thing Dean would ever try to say he was compared to you. You, Y/N Y/L/N, the girl with fancy red boots and tight jeans, is everything Dean never dreamed of and way out of his league.

You are a ferocious scream in civility that shakes his ground and makes him want to know how human savagery felt like after years being spoiled. You tease the green eyed hunter, never leading to evilness, and always with a beam that makes him feel lucky to be the fool to your kingdom. Dean feels comfortable with you, like taking his expensive socks off at home and chuckling with his mouth full, or even attempting a new food that makes his tongue experience marvelous flavors never felt before.

The eldest Winchester brother is almost dancing around his own feet for five minutes and counting. Gulping nervously every time he hears the noise of a door opening as he shuts his eyes, picturing the perfect ending of 'asking Y/N on a date' plan.

Okay, fine. Maybe he does have a reason for envisioning the possible difficulties of this situation. How could he not? Dean wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable by asking you out again if you said no today. It's a now or never situation. How can he not be sweating in his levis?

“Duncan?” you ask, your voice exhaling a name that isn't his, but it catches Dean's attention nonetheless. He must have been listening what you were saying before even turning around to catch a glimpse of you. “Duncan!”

You poke his arm, causing him to move quickly to face you. Despite getting his name wrong, you look gorgeous: your hair was a mess like usual after spending too long in your office, sunglasses on the top of your head, and a joyful grin on your painted lips.

He straightens his posture to regain some confidence. “Dean. Dean Winchester.”

Your eyebrows knit together in a weight of confusion. "Who are you?"

This is it, his mind whispers. Rule number four, be cool. Say that thing that guy says in the movie which Sammy made you watch! Dean licks his lips, leaning against the counter. He shrugs, attempting to get in a persona that would only be him in another universe. “I’m just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe. You know, Dean Winchester.”

His shoulders drop as you let out a laugh, and suddenly the perfect threat in his fantasy became a funny joke. He doesn't even waste time being too embarrassed, though: he loves that sound.

“I'm kidding, Dean Winchester. I know who you are. You know, you're kind of the owner of this building?” you say humorously, pointing around the establishment.

Dean's brows arch quickly as he replies: “Technically, it's my father.”

“Who cares about the technical, right?” Of course you would say that with your own sequin smile and a playful wink. Who gives you the right to make his heart go wild? God, he sounds like a chick-flick. “Anyway, do you need something? I noticed you standing at my door.”

“Yes.” His stupendous moment. The stage is his and he better make it worth it. Dean's going to ask you out now, and then, he sees your features changing into curiosity. You're so adorable with your soft frown and head cocked, hair cascading down like one of the surrealistic paintings decorating his office walls. It reminds the Winchester of the way their brilliant colors and space tangle together to make something so gorgeous he couldn’t bear to give it another name but art. God, what if you say no? What if you say yes? What if everything is weird after that? “No. I mean, yes. I...”

“Are you okay?” You place a hand on his bicep. One touch, a blaze starting to burn in the best ways. His heart gives out, beating too crazily to be properly felt -- that doesn't help one bit.

“Yeah, this muchacho is okay.” Dean points at himself with two thumbs. Here goes all the rules in less than three minutes of chatting. He sighs to himself, offering you a pageant smile. “Just forget about it. I was going to ask for a report on your last hunt, but you can send it to my email.”

“Sure thing. I'll send you them after I come back from lunch. McDonald's waits for me.” The Winchester doesn't know if his mind is playing tricks on him, but he can swear he saw disappointment on your face. It could've been that tell, your hair brushing your lips like he craves to, or even how you blink so adorably under the dim light that makes a sudden glimmer of newfound courage hit him. Granted, it's with a trembling voice, but still.

“Maybe I could go have lunch with you?” Dean can practically hear his brother saying, be assertive, ask her out. He rushes to correct himself. “You. You could grab lunch with me. If you want. We could go have lunch together.”

“You like McDonald's?” You bit your bottom lip, arms crossed despite your subtle chortle.

“Of course.” Dean scoffs, gaining a glare of yours for a few seconds before he sighs with a shrug, a flush of pink coloring his cheeks. “No. Processed food isn't a thing in my house. Dad likes to spoil us with homemade meals and scotch.”

“Well, I'm sure John doesn't know how to cook quesadillas. I know the perfect place we can go.” You grab his wrist, and despite all empirical evidence to the contrary of such strong euphoria stemming from a simple touch, he goes against every scientific rule and gets to heaven on earth. “And Dean?”

His voice is lighter, happier by that mere gentle gesture which causes Dean's cheeks to dimple with branded delight as he answers: “Yes?”

You don't bother pulling your hand away. Instead, you intertwined your fingers, smiling like a baby when you notice his sweaty palm. At least you aren't the only nervous here. “Our second date will be at McDonald's.”

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btsslowburnfic · 3 years

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The Arrangement Chapter 11

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: You and Yoongi each share a little of your fucked up pasts

Previous chapter here

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The two of you entered the studio. Yoongi headed for the desk chair. "You can take the couch."

You gave him a bottle of water and pulled the gimbap out of your purse, handing one to him.

"Thanks. Now do you see why I don't go to those meetings?" He began to tear the wrapping off the gimbap.

"Yep. That was brutal. They literally just read off of the PowerPoint slides." You took a bite of your food.

Yoongi scrolled through his phone. "We should go shopping tonight. The stores will be packed tomorrow and Sunday."

"I don't mind. I can just go tomorrow or something."

He looked over at you. "I don't do crowds. Let's go tonight."

You sighed, it was clear you weren't winning this argument. "Sounds good. What time will you get done with work today?" You asked, glad some of the negativity was fading from him.

"I need to do some producing. But I'll try to take a break at 7 and then we can go shopping."

You almost died a little at how normal and domestic this all sounded. A small part of you wanted your life to be so different from the fucked up life you had experienced as a child. This could be your life. This could be it. It's fake. I don't care.

"OK sounds good." you finished up your sandwich. "I'm off to continue answering questions that people could easily look up online."

"Better you than me," he said.

You stuck your hand out for the sandwich wrapper and sighed. "Yep. It’s definitely not work befitting Min Suga genius." You teased as you exited the studio.

Yoongi smiled and turned around to face his computer. What the fuck was happening? Two days in and he had already bought you towels and was getting ready to go grocery shopping with you. Might as well skip to the wedding at this point, he thought jokingly. At least then someone else would have bought the towels for you.

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Yoongi picked at his cuticles, his alarm was set to go off in a few minutes. He had done some mixing, but for the most part he ended up writing. He had been very inspired lately for lyrics. Usually it was the beats that came more easily to him and he had to seek out experiences for his lyrics. But lately he had so many feelings and experiences just itching to come out.

He was worried after that night at the bar that you would distract him from his job but so far he had found the opposite to be true. He was thinking about you less because he knew you were in the office or the apartment. He wasn’t wondering what you were doing all the time. Not that he cared. Not that he had thought about you all the time. And it was nice to have someone answer emails and calls, and deliver coffee.

He turned his alarm off preemptively and stood up. He exited the studio. There was no one left on the 14th floor. That wasn’t unusual. He stopped by your desk. It was totally empty. He frowned. How could a person the same age as him have only 2 bags of belongings he wondered. He took out his phone.

YG: What’s going on with Ms. [YLN] work laptop? I see it hasn’t arrived yet. She needs it immediately to help coordinate my collaborations. Additionally, she needs appropriate stationary.

JW: Of course Mr. Min. I will follow up with the IT department immediately and let you know. As for the office supplies I can provide her with some basic stationary immediately. If you require personalized stationary the lead time on orders is 2 weeks. I can send a link to have you/her look over it.

YG: Thank you Jiwoo. Please do that.

Satisfied with himself, he put his phone back in his pocket and headed over to the elevator. He got in. A girl he recognized as Alice, Jin’s main stylist was already on. She had a make-up train case with her and seemed irritated. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and noticed the button for the 18th floor was already pushed.

They both awkwardly stood in silence for the short ride.

The elevator arrived at the 18th floor. Yoongi gestured to her to exit first. She did and headed down the other way towards Jin’s apartment. He must have some event tonight Yoongi thought as he went the other direction to his apartment. He walked in, just realizing he hadn’t been home since yesterday morning. He sighed. It wasn’t unusual for him to spend days at a time in the studio. The first thing he noticed was that his apartment smelled like coffee and girl. It wasn’t a bad thing. It was just different.

He continued into the living room and looked around. There was a light on in the kitchen and a half-empty pot of coffee. He could see a light peeking out from under your bedroom door. He took out his phone.

YG: I’m home. I’m going to grab a shower first and then we can go. You don’t have to stay holed up in the bedroom.

He walked upstairs, put his phone on the charger, and showered.

You woke up from your nap right at 6:58. Yoongi hadn’t struck you as the type to ever get home from work early so you hadn’t worried about being ready right at 7. You checked your messages and saw where he had texted you as well as Jimin. You pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt and headed out to the living room.

JM: 2 pm. Meet me in the lobby of the 6th floor. Bring a tank top and leggings so you can try on clothes over them. Also I HATE YOU WE WERE THERE UNTIL 5 OMFG

YN: Sorry sorry XD I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again!

Yoongi emerged a few minutes later wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and looking like a damn snack. “Hey.” He walked over to the kitchen and opened the cabinets to check the ingredients. He looked back over his shoulder, “Seriously, I meant what I texted, Make yourself at home. I'm never here anyways."

You moved over to the barstool. "Thanks. I'm just so used to sharing small spaces with lots of people I don't really take up a lot of space. The coffee is fresh by the way. I had a cup before napping just now."

Yoongi didn't really respond, opening up the refrigerator. The two of you were surprised to suddenly hear yelling and screaming in the hallway.

"What the hell? "Yoongi asked, shutting the fridge and walking over to the front door. “Not again," he muttered under his breath. It sounded like a woman yelling. The blood in your veins ran ice cold, your tongue slowly turned to lead. You heard the front door open and felt dizzy. Suddenly you were in an apartment with Suho and there was screaming. You took a deep breath. No. No. That was years ago. You were in Seoul. You were safe. There were guards here and Yoongi was here. Yoongi? You shook your head, looking around. You started to panic again.

The woman had stopped screaming. You heard the voices of two men and slowly staggered out towards the hallway.

"What the fuck Jin?" you heard Yoongi yell.

"I know. I know. She's just difficult."

"Your girlfriend is a fucking asshole." You heard a girl yell. You recognized her as Alice. She was pulling her make up case down the hallway and crying hard.

"Alice I'm sorry. You know Lin is a little crazy. She didn't mean any of the stuff she said." Jin pleaded with her.

Alice was sobbing as she pushed the elevator button. "Tell yourself that, jin."

You didn't want to stare. You felt wrong watching all of this happen but you were also numb at this point, almost experiencing it as though you were outside your body.

Yoongi breathed in sharply. "Just go home Jin. But this is the second time this week. She needs some anger management classes or something." Yoongi looked over and saw you standing there, peeking around the corner.

"Enjoying the show?" He said irritated.

You snapped back to reality and shook your head. You weren't nosy. You had been scared and didn't want to be in the apartment alone. Yoongi got on the elevator with Alice, leaving you and Jin in the hallway.

" Goddammit," you heard Jin say as he walked back to his apartment.

You stood there for a minute replaying everything that had just happened. You took a few deep breaths. Suho wasn't here. You were fine. Yoongi was fine. Apparently Jin had a crazy girlfriend. Alice was Jin's stylist. And Yoongi thought you were a nosey asshole. Great.

You didn't feel like you could go back to the apartment right now so you decided to head out for a walk.

-----------

"You don't have to come with me. You don't even know me." Alice sniffed. "I know how to ride an elevator."

Yoongi shrugged. "Your name is Alice. You've been around for 3 years but became Jin's main stylist a year ago. You are hopelessly in love with him and his new girlfriend suspects. Tell me I'm wrong."

Alice sniffled, her silence acting as confirmation. Yoongi observed so much, quietly watching his coworkers over the years. “This is embarrassing.” She sniffled.

" You should file a complaint with the HR department. She can't just scream at staff members."

"I'm just a stylist."

"Well I'll be filing a complaint. Her loud yelling is fucking annoying." Yoongi put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels.

Alice laughed a little at that. "Yeah. She's fucking mean. They've actually been dating on and off for years. She yells at Jin too and he always just takes it. That's why she screamed at me tonight. She called him a worthless idiot for like the 500th time and I finally just snapped and told her to shut up."

Yoongi pressed his lips together. He never would have imagined that Jin was being verbally abused. He suddenly felt bad he had been so short with him a few minutes ago.

The elevator arrived at the 7th floor where several of the girl's dormitories were. "Rest up. She's a bitch." Yoongi said to Alice as she got ready to exit.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry I've never really talked to you before."

Yoongi shrugged . "It's fine." He pushed the door close button and back to the 18th floor. He had been so surprised to see you standing there. He didn't think you'd be interested in gossip, you had seemed so mature.

He walked back into the apartment. "Y/N I'm back. Are you ready to go to the store?"

Silence.

He sent a message to your phone and heard it ping from the countertop.

Shit.

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Yoongi walked outside. It was a little cold out. He tried to tell himself he wasn't chasing after you or looking for you. He was just out stretching his legs. If he happened to run into you, fine. But if not, fine. He reasoned that without your phone or wallet, you had to be nearby. He had left a note for you in the apartment just in case you got back before he did.

Y/N,

Hey. Sorry for all the loud drama. Jin's gf sucks. Text me. You still owe me jjigae.

He walked through one of the little parks that stood between the skyscrapers and the river. He figured he would do a short lap and then head back. He hated the cold, he thought again as he rubbed his hands together.

"Yoongi?" he heard a voice. He looked over at the swingset and saw you sitting there.

"Hey," he walked over. "You left."

"Sorry, I needed some fresh air." You responded as you watched your breath form in the air.

Yoongi took a seat on the swing next to you. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Jin's girlfriend is apparently awful."

"Yeah. Poor Alice. I met her the other day, she seemed so sweet."

“How do you already know so many people?” Yoongi wondered aloud. He had been there for years and barely knew anybody.

You shrugged, “I guess bartending made me good at talking to people.”

“How did you get into it?”

“Bartending? Well I wanted a job where I could work nights so I could also have a day job. And the money was really good.”

“That's always your main job criteria?” Yoongi said flippantly.

Rude. “That's a little mean but yea. I'm the main adult who has to support my two siblings and I've had to since I was 20 years old. I had to drop out of college so there's not many options. I haven’t had the luxury of choosing jobs that I might actually be interested in.”

Yoongi felt like such a shithead. “Sorry. That was a dick thing of me to say. You’re right, it would be nice if you could have the ability to do a job because you like it. Not because of the money.”

“It's OK. I'm just sensitive about it.” You looked off in the distance at the river.

“You should be proud. When I was 20 I wasn’t able to even support myself, let alone take care of anybody else.”

You shrugged. “I’m sure you could have if you had to.”

“No. I’m telling you. When I was 20 I was on my own. And I was homeless because I couldn’t support myself. So the fact that you actually made it work while taking care of people is pretty amazing.”

“Thanks. And wow. I had no idea. That sucks. I’m glad you’re not homeless anymore.” You looked over at him. You never would have guessed. You just assumed he had always been well off.

“Right? That would suck.” Yoongi agreed, glad you weren’t turning his trauma into a big deal. “Yeah, I got discovered by a talent scout and BigHit brought me to Seoul and set me up in one of the dorms here.”

“Wow. I got discovered by some rich asshole with dimples in a bar, who I thought was running a sex-trafficking ring.” You joked. Yoongi laughed, while gently swinging.

"While we’re sharing our tragic backstories, that's actually one of the reasons I came out there." You began. You figured if Yoongi was willing to share some of his fucked-up ness you could do the same. "In the hallway. I didn't want to be alone. People yelling and screaming puts me on edge. I wasn’t trying to be nosy" you thought about how to best phrase what you wanted to say next. "I was raised in an environment where that happened a lot. Yelling. Screaming. And things got very violent, very quickly, in our house."

Yoongi sat next to you on the swings listening intently to your confession. He never would have guessed that about you. You seemed so well-adjusted." I'm sorry that you grew up in a place like that." He said, carefully studying your face." And I'm sorry that Jin's girlfriend caused you to be uncomfortable. I had no idea or I wouldn't have said anything to you about being in the hallway"

"it's OK. Well, I mean, it's not ok what happened to me, but it's over now. Thanks." you looked over at him. He was blowing on his hands. "Are you cold?"

"Yes, it’s freezing out here"

You scoffed, “It's a little cold. Here," you stood up and put your hands around his before he could object.

"How are you so hot?” He asked, enjoying the furnace of your hands.

“You know I look in the mirror every day and ask myself the same question.” You replied with a straight face. Yoongi wrinkled his nose causing you to laugh. “Come on. I don’t want to get fired for letting you freeze to death.” You pulled on his hands to get him off the swing. “Do you still want to go shopping?”

“Yep. I have the list in my phone. Since we’re already out let’s walk to the real grocery store. The BigHit store has an ok amount of things, but not as much as an outside store.”

“Ok, I need to go back and grab my wallet.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But I--”

“You’ve seen my apartment. Don’t argue with me.” He started to walk back towards the city center.

You sighed. Yes. He was super rich and you weren’t. “Fine. But I am doing this under protest.”

“Your protest is noted, come along, assistant. I’ll let you carry the bags.” NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda @anpanman-sonyeondan @firefairy1 @cuteipat @sugaslittlekookies @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny

#bts fic #bts scenarios #suga x you #yoongi x you #yoongi scenarios #bts yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts suga x you #suga x y/n #yoongi imagine #bts writing #suga bts #bts yoongi #bts au fanfic #bts fanfic

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queenoftheworldisdead · 4 years

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Off Schedule

Chapter 3

Summary: Slow burn. Brad Pitt is your boss and he is going through a divorce. Smut in later chapters. Warning: light flirting and touching Brad Pitt x Reader, Keanu Reeves x Reader

Any critiques to make me better are more than welcome.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Mr.Pitt's clean cut look was replaced with a rugged beard, groomed to perfection. His hair longer, brushed back into a sleek pompadour. The only thing that hadn't changed was his style of dress. He still styled himself in tailored suits that cost more than your life.

He started taking meetings again, but his demeanor towards you hadn't changed. Things had not quite been the same since he blew-up at you and it seemed to be getting worse. He would only communicate with you via email. Anytime you called him he would ignore you. Whenever he passed your desk he wouldn't speak or look at you.

The days of you having the occasional conversation had ceased. You weren't best friends, but you had missed the interactions you used to have with him.

When you came back from lunch you noticed something on your desk. It was a post-it note with a flash drive attached. Picking it up you read it.

"10 binder color copies for the Clooney meeting." It was in Mr. Pitt's hand writing.

A written note had to be a step up from emails right? Maybe if you hadn't been to lunch he would have actually spoken to you. Doubt it.

He might have just thrown it at you and you would have to figure out what he wanted from context clues. Sighing you start up your laptop and shove the device in.

Looking at his calendar then back at the clock you freaked. The meeting was starting in 20 minutes. You pressed print on the keyboard and made a mad dash to the binding room.

Printing and binding would take some time so you would be cutting it close. Hopefully these were the kind of clients that didn't arrive early.

Thankfully the printer spit out your copies in record time and the binding machine didn't jam as it had been prone to do in the past. Checking the time you had 5 minutes to finish up and head to the conference room. So you high tailed it to the elevator to your destination.

When you hopped out the elevator on the 17th floor you saw Mr. Pitt and Reeves were standing outside of the conference room. Cheerfully chatting amongst themselves before the clients arrived. What ever issue they had going on must have been resolved you thought to yourself. Maybe Mr. Pitt would go back to being his jovial self again or even speak to you. Turning your attention back to the task at hand you rush past them to the room to setup. Thankfully the clients hadn't arrived yet.

As you passed the two men your laces had freed themselves along the way. Your right foot jerked back hard as your left had caught the lace under its sole. The binders cascaded through the air as you descended to the floor.

You couldn't feel the pain that was most definitely pulsing through your knees. Because the embarrassment of the fall over shadowed it all. It was silent, but you knew they were looking at you. You scrambled on your bruising knees ignoring that fact to collect the scattered binders.

Mr. Reeves walked over to you and crouched down showing genuine concern while Mr. Pitt looked away. This was the second time this week he has seen your fruitless fight against gravity.

"You ok?" Mr.Reeves asked, hand out stretched to help you up. You took it and he guided you to your feet.

"Yeah" you giggled straightening your skirt "Gravity seems to be against me these days." You felt frazzled, but collected yourself.

You looked between the two men apologizing again before bending down to grab the last binder from the floor before heading into the conference room. The two men continued their conversation while you finished prepping the room.

The first email you received upon the return to your station came from Molly in HR. She wanted to see you immediately.

‘Shit!’ Of course HR would want to see me today. Your knees had not yet forgiven you for falling on them so moving around the office was strenuous.

Calling Zoe, at reception, you told her you would be forwarding your phone while you stepped away for a bit. Mr. Pitt would be in the Clooney meeting for a while so you didn't bother notifying him of your whereabouts.

Then panic started to sink in. Was this it? Where you fired? Maybe Mr.Pitt planned to have you fired while he was in his meeting. Because he didn't want to be around when security watched you as you packed up your desk and escort you out of the building. He was very much annoyed when you called him the other day. And Tuesday, freaking Tuesday he really laid into you. Was he still angry? Your feet felt like lead as you took the elevator to the 3rd floor.

'Please don't fire me.Please don't fire me' you thought to yourself repeatedly.

Once you arrived you walked straight to Molly's office and knocked on her opened door. Looking up from her monitor she waved you in. "Please close the door and have a seat" Lacing her fingers she sighed as your heart sank.

This was it. The best job you ever had gone. Poof just like that. Au revoir your trip to Paris.

"You're probably wondering why you're here?" Molly asked.

You shook your head timidly.

"You're here because you've been violating our dress code."

"What" you blurted out noticeably confused.

Your daily outfits consisted of a button down blouse, pencil skirt and your black sneakers. Your color pattern always a mix of blacks, grays or whites. No outlandish color schemes and your skirts always came down to your knees. So upon this news you were thoroughly confused.

"It's your shoes dear." Molly said eyeing your sneakers then you.

"What? What's wrong with my shoes?" You try to explain. "There has never been a problem before. I've been wearing these for at least 5 years."

This whole thing was coming as quite the shock.

"There not professional. I've seen you trip on more than one occasion in those things.Are you trying to get workers compensation? Because you are well on your way." Molly joked and you pouted in response.

"Look this is just a warning, buy some more professional shoes like heels we pay you enough to afford at least one pair."

‘Great more money gone’

"I'll go shopping when I get off. Is that ok?" You grumbled. The dent to your wallet hurt, but a small price to pay to keep your job. Every penny you tried to save ended up being spent on one thing after another. By the time you Would be able to afford France you might be eligible for retirement.

"Thats fine, now this is your first warning I don't want to have to see you again."

With that she excused you from her office.

Thankfully you were able to go shopping after work yesterday and pick up a pair of heels that were cheap and professional. Unfortunately you hadn't tried them on before you left the store. The box size was definitely the size you wore and when you first put them on this morning they felt fine.

It wasn't until your day truly got started that the cute little heels felt like they shrank in size. Every step you took felt like torture.

You were on your feet for the majority of the day. Running from your desk to various meetings and two torturous trips to Central Perk. The inside of the shoe rubbed against the side of your foot and scraped your Achilles heel. The pointed heels squished your toes so tightly together that you felt the circulation was being cut off.

Not to mention the constant click clapping sounds that came from the result of your heels slapping the tile.

Maybe you could ask Sarah or Zoe for advice on stealthier shoes.

You needed a break, you felt exhausted. The only bright side of the day came from the fact that you hadn't tripped of fell once. Though you were a bit wobbly from time to time. Sitting at your desk you hunched over to take off one of the pain machines to rub and coddle your foot. You could feel a callus forming.

"Hey" a deep voice called from above.

Popping your head up from under your desk to stare into the face of Mr. Reeves.

"Oh! Hi Sir."

"You ok?" He asked.

"Oh yeah. Just breaking in my new shoes." You wiggled one of them in the air. "They are killing me right now." You say playfully.

He walked behind your desk and knelt before you. Your eyes rounded at the sight of it all.

Mr. Reeves grabbed your ankle and gently brought it towards him. Cupping your heel to examine it.

Placing the palms of his hands on the side of your foot he gently started pulling the right side forward while pushing the left side back. Repeating the twisting motion, working his hands from the toe to ankle.

"How are your knees doing? You took quite the spill yesterday." He inquired.

Oh my gawd what the hell? Is this really happening?

"Um.. they are a better than yesterday" you felt stiff.

You tried to gingerly pull away, but he wouldn't release you. So you sat there watching him. He looked up and smirked and you felt your face go hot. You couldn't breathe it felt so good yet so awkward.

He turned his focus back to your foot once he looked away you found it easier to breathe again. Mr.Reeves started to use his thumbs to stroke down each toe, you bit your bottom lip hard fighting back a moan.

Mr. Reeves moved to place his thumbs under the ball of your foot, he pushed his thumbs in a downward motion to your arches. He stroked you slowly again applying little pressure in just the right spots.

The pleasure of it all rippled through you and a moan slipped out. You slapped a hand over your mouth. He looked up at you again and lightly chuckled.

"Is that better?" He asked while he continued the massage. "Maybe you bought the wrong size? That might be why they are giving you so much trouble."

"I-I..ummm..th-they are my size...the box said soooo" you couldn't help the second moan when he applied more pressure. The magic of his fingers turned you to putty as you melted into your chair. His hand moved up from your foot to your leg. Gripping and kneading the calf muscle. Your head hit the back of your chair as you floated away. The warmth and firmness of his hands had you relaxed in ways you had never felt before.

When Mr. Pitts door opened you both hadn't noticed. Not until he cleared his throat. Your neck whipped in his direction. The compromising situation shot your body heat up boiling over with the embarrassment. Ripping your leg out of Mr.Reeves hands you spun in your chair to stare blankly at your computer screen.

"Hey. Ready to head out?" Mr. Reeves ask him as he rose from his knees. He gave you a cheeky smile, but you ignored it.

You could feel Mr. Pitt's eyes on the back of your head, but you refused to look back at him. You just pretended to look at something on your screen and play with your mouse until their voices faded in the distance.

You dared to look over your monitor and Mr. Pitt's eyes caught yours before the doors closed. His face stoic but his eyes seemed to burn with fury. You were in trouble you could feel it. You dreaded his return.

Chapter 4>>>>>

#brad pitt x reader #brad pitt imagine #brad pitt smut #brad pitt fic #keanu reeves fic #keanu reeves x reader #black writer #keanu reeves imagine

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kimjoongs · 4 years

Text

—ateez college au series [psh]

so seonghwa is a nursing major bc why not and no this isnt bc im also a nursing major or maybe it is idk shh

he wanted to become a nurse bc his mom was one, and he saw how much she adored her job

plus seonghwa is a self-less and caring person, so this was the perfect choice for him

he lives in an apartment on campus with his roommate hongjoong and it’s both a blessing and a curse

it was a blessing because his and hongjoong’s personalities matched very well, so they rarely had arguments

but it was also a curse bc joong was a music production major so he’d be producing music in his room, which normally wasn’t a problem, but on nights where seonghwa was studying for his exams, hongjoong would be in the room next door blasting music

usually all seonghwa had to do was knock on his door and ask him to keep it down, but there were nights where he would just pack up his stuff and study at the campus library instead

he often stayed for about 3-4 hours or more if he had an exam the next day

hwa really liked anatomy and phys but absolutely despised chemistry

“what the hell is the difference between polar and nonpolar? wait, why does this lewis structure only have 2 bonds? shouldn’t it have 3? ah shit i forgot an electron–”

sometimes hongjoong would come out of his room to get a glass of water only to find hwa asleep at the kitchen table with a copy of the periodic table on his head

he loves getting to wear his scrubs on lab day bc 1) scrubs are super comfortable and 2) it gets him excited thinking about the future

he also started volunteering at the nursing college in the labs

he’d help the lab ops set up the labs, refill the fluids, repack the medication, or clean up the simulation rooms

this also gave him the opportunity to get to know his future professors, and he would never admit it, but whilst he was volunteering, he would admire the older nursing students wearing the official university scrubs

it made him that much more determined to get into nursing school

during his first semester his second year, he had less of a workload compared to his first year, so he had more free time and was able to go out more

one day hongjoong asked seonghwa if he wanted to hang out with a few of his friends, and he said yes

so the two of them went out to this nearby boba cafe where hongjoong’s friends mingi, san, and wooyoung were waiting for him

you were there as well, tagging along as a mutual friend of san’s, and he introduced you to the two them

“hey hongjoong, seonghwa, this is my friend y/n! i hope it’s cool if they come along. i needed to drag them out of their room or else they’d be studying for hours on end,” san teased, knocking your head lightly w his fist

you stuck your tongue out at him then turned to shake hongjoong’s and seonghwa’s hands

when you made eye contact with the latter, his face lit up with recognition “oh wait, y/n? you’re in my pathophysiology class right?”

“oh yeah, i sit right behind you. nice to meet you, seonghwa!” you flashed him a smile, and he smile back

after everyone introduced themselves, you all found a table and ordered your drinks

mingi, san, and seonghwa sat on one side of the booth whilst you, wooyoung, and hongjoong sat on the other

you were quite surprised, and quite relieved, at how well you were fitting in and getting along with hongjoong and seonghwa…especially seonghwa

during the time that you all were together, seonghwa found out that you were a nursing major too and the two of you launched into a full blown discussion about it, unaware of the looks the others were giving you both

hongjoong had a faint smile on his face, mingi was chuckling and shaking his head, and san and wooyoung were giving each other knowing smirks

at the end of the night, seonghwa had asked you for your number in case yall wanted to study tgt, and you happily obliged

then you all said your farewells and went your separate ways

a few days pass and you don’t hear from seonghwa, which was quite understandable considering the fact that it was midterm season and you were both busy

but you were also kind of looking forward to study with him, he seemed really smart and self-disciplined which was exactly the type of study buddy you needed

but another couple days pass and lo and behold you receive a text from the one and only park seonghwa that reads: hey you wanna study tgt for the patho exam at the library today?

ofc you said yes and half an hr later, you found yourself at the library sitting right across from seonghwa

the two of you had your laptops, notebooks, and handouts spread all over the tables and were completely in the zone

after an hr or two of straight studying, you suggested taking a small break and that’s where the two of you got to talking abt nursing and why you both chose to major in it

“well my mom’s a nurse, and when i was younger she would always talk about how much she loved her job. she’s super hardworking and cares about her patients, and that’s how i want to be someday. plus as a nurse, if i could just make someone’s day just a little bit better, then that’s all that matters to me.”

needless to say, you were captivated by the raw passion and love seonghwa had for his future career, and you couldn’t help but admire him for it

after your short break, the two of you went back to studying, but this time yall would often make eye contact and send each other encouraging smiles

you found yourself slowly becoming more comfortable with seonghwa as the time passed by

and after that, the two you started having more and more study sessions, growing closer and closer

whenever an exam or quiz was coming up, you two would always be found studying tgt whether it was at his apartment or the library

and that’s when the hesi exam came in

the amount of time you guys spent studying for regular exams was nothing compared to the amount of time yall spent studying for the hesi

on the day of, you and hwa were practically freaking out

“oh my god y/n i’m so scared. what if i forget how to do the conversions? what if i forget everything i learned in anatomy? what if i forget basic grammar–”

“hwa shut up you’re making me nervous!”

basically yall are a wreck from the beginning of the exam all the way to the end, and once yall walk out of that testing room you almost collapse

anyways fast forward a few weeks later it’s almost the end of the semester and also around the time where you would be receiving your letter saying whether or not you were accepted into the program

it was a friday night and the entire gang was at your apartment having a movie night

you were looking thru your emails when you stumbled upon one from your university, and when you saw what the subject was you screamed, scaring the living daylights out of mingi who was sitting next you

“y/n what the hell–” “guys, guys my nursing school letter came in oh my god, oh my god!”

the entire room went silent for a millisecond before san let out a shriek and soon everyone was crowding around you

hongjoong gripped seonghwa’s shoulder “did you get yours yet?”

the latter’s eyes widened in realization and he also whipped out his phone, letting out a choked gasp when he saw the same email “mine came in too!”

at this point all of yall were freaking the hell out, and you and seonghwa somehow found each other’s hands and held them tightly tgt

“okay, okay, okay!” you reposition yourself on the couch so you were facing your fellow nursing major “on the count of three we open it at the same time, yeah?” all seonghwa did was nod

“alright, one…two…three!” everyone held their breath and it seemed like an eternity had passed…and then you and seonghwa jumped up from the couch

“i got in!” you yelled at the same time, which caused the others to belt out the loudest cheers you’ve ever heard

overwhelmed with excitement and pride, you threw yourself onto seonghwa and gave him the tightest hug, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, gently lifting you off the ground

when you guys separated, both your eyes widened at the lack of space btwn the two of you, and you immediately jumped away from each other

“um,” you cleared your throat “i’m…i’m really proud of you, hwa.” he gave you the softest of smiles, one that made your heart race even more than it was right now

“i’m proud of you too, y/n.”

aaaand fast forward again to the beginning of the next semester! you and seonghwa were officially in the clinical portion of the nursing program which meant you two were now able to wear the university’s official nursing scrubs seonghwa probably cried a little when he first tried his on

and since yall were in the program tgt, you saw each other more frequently, even more compared to the previous semester

which certainly didnt help alleviate the strong emotions you were feeling ever since the two of you shared that small, intimate moment just a couple months prior

before you didnt use to feel anything when you hung out with seonghwa, but now just thinking abt him was enough to get you all giddy and nervous at the same time

it had reached a point where you couldnt take it anymore, so you decided to seek help from the one person who knew seonghwa best: his best friend and roommate, hongjoong

when you met up with him and poured out what it was you were feeling, hongjoong sent you a fond, knowing smile “y/n…you like him. romantically, i mean.”

you gaped “i…what?”

“you, y/n, have romantic feelings for my best friend, seonghwa.”

“i..i like him? i don’t…i don’t have–” you froze upon seeing the way hongjoong raised his eyebrows at you

“i…i like…i like seonghwa,” you finally breathed out. hongjoong’s gaze softened and he chuckled “took you long enough…now if only seonghwa could stop being a coward and just ask you out already,” he mumbled the second part under his breath

not knowing what to do with the information you had just uncovered abt yourself, you thought it’d a good idea (read: it was the stupidest idea) to distance yourself from seonghwa for a bit, just long enough for you to process the thoughts racing thru your mind

you were unaware, however, of how you distancing yourself might look like from seonghwa’s pov

he’s noticed you not hanging out with him as much anymore outside of class, and during class whenever he’d try to talk to you, you’d just scurry over to the other side of the room

he started getting worried and, ironically, he went to hongjoong for advice

upon hearing what’s been going on, hongjoong sighed loudly and slammed his hands down on the counter

“okay, initially i wasn’t going to say anything because i wanted the two of you to find out on your own, but obviously that isn’t going to happen so i’m just going to say it. y/n’s avoiding you because they realized they’ve fallen head over heels in love with you and don’t know how to react. so hwa, please be a nice guy and help them figure it out if you catch my drift.”

at that, hongjoong walked out and into his room, leaving an open-mouthed seonghwa frozen in the kitchen, he was at a loss for words

he knew hongjoong knew abt his feelings for you, but he didn’t think you’d feel the same

after contemplating whether or not what he was abt to do was a good idea or not, seonghwa simply said “screw it” and dashed out the door, heading straight for your apartment

once he arrived, he knocked rapidly on your front door

you had barely opened the door when seonghwa practically slid right in

“seonghwa? what are you doing he–”

“y/n, i’m sorry for just barging in but i need to ask you something really important and i want you to be completely honest.”

you gasped softly at the way he was looking at you, it was so intense and so serious you’ve never seen him like that before

“uh, okay? what’s going on?” you asked nervously

“do you have feelings for me?”

you choked “w-what?!”

“i talked to hongjoong and asked him for advice bc you’ve been avoiding me the past few days, and he said it’s bc you like me. is that true?”

you didn’t know what to say, the familiar warm feeling in your stomach came back and you found it difficult to maintain eye contact with seonghwa

a few seconds of silence passed, and you could see seonghwa’s serious gaze slowly start to crumble and all of a sudden you panicked

“yes! y-yes…it’s true. i do have feelings for you,” your voice trailed off at the end, but you knew he heard you when he saw him stiffen up

he let out a shaky breath “how long?”

“huh?”

“how long have you liked me, y/n?” he asked more firmly

“u-um, i’m not sure? i honestly didn’t start noticing i felt like this until about two months ago when we found we got accepted. although, the more i think about it, i’ve been attracted to you since our first study session together. the way you talked so passionately about your future and how dedicated you were into making it come true made me feel something, and what you said was really inspiring to me and i just–”

your sentence was interrupted by a pair of lips connecting with your own, and it took a second for you to realize that…seonghwa was kissing you

oh my god…oh my god seonghwa was kissing you

once you finally registered what was happening, he pulled away from you, eyes wide and cheeks flushed

“oh..oh shit, y/n i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to–i should’ve asked for your permission first. i’m so so sorry!”

seonghwa tried to take a step back, but you grabbed his wrist before he could

“y-y/n?” he stared at you

you couldn’t wait anymore. not after that.

“please, do that again.”

now it was seonghwa’s turn to choke on his breath “h-huh?”

you tightened your grip on his wrist “seonghwa, this is me giving you permission. kiss me again.”

and he did

unlike the first kiss, this one was much longer and more heartfelt. you felt his arms snake around your waist, tugging you closer and closer

you could feel the way your cheeks were heating up, but at the moment you didn’t care, wanting this moment to last forever

but unfortunately, all good things must come to an end

“hey y/n, who was at the doo–holy shit!” at the sight of you and seonghwa, mingi let out the loudest screech, causing the two of you to jump away from each other

“oh fuck i forgot san and mingi were here,” you cursed under your breath. seonghwa stood next to you, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck

mingi still remained where he was in the hallway, mouth wide open in shock before he recollected himself “ohoho my god, san! text wooyoung and tell him he owes me dinner!” and with that, mingi took off running down the hall and into one of the rooms

and once again you were left alone w seonghwa

for the longest time, the two of you just stood there, refusing to speak nor look at each other

the room was so silent you could practically hear both of your hearts racing

“so uh…does this mean you and i are…?” seonghwa asked sheepishly, taking a small step towards you

you glanced up at him and couldn’t help but giggle at the hopeful look on his face

you turned towards him and flashed him the brightest grin “yeah, we are.”

the smile that appeared on seonghwa’s face at that moment was enough to take your breath away, and you had to physically restrain yourself from kissing him again

instead you opted for taking his hand in yours and entwining your fingers tgt

now that you and seonghwa were officially dating, it made studying that much more fun

when you guys started doing your clinicals, it became hard for yall to see each other, but it made your time tgt much more special when you did have time

seonghwa is a very touchy and cuddly person, so whenever there’s a short break in btwn lab or lecture, he’ll either be sitting next to you with his head on your shoulder or his arm around your shoulder and your head on his chest

the other nursing students (and sometimes the professors) would scream at how cute yall were

and bro if you thought seonghwa was your biggest motivator before you started dating, then he’s even bigger motivator now

when he quizzes you, he’ll always give you a kiss on the cheek if you answer a question correctly, or when you come back from a particularly rough shift he’ll be there to hold you and tell you that you did your best

oh yeah and to cheer you up he’ll say a bunch of anatomy jokes

“hey y/n, i aorta tell you how much i love you”

“oh god, hwa don’t even start.”

“oh c’mon, quit ovary-acting.”

“park seonghwa”

“you’re going tibia okay”

“i’m breaking up with you”

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez headcanons #ateez fluff #seonghwa #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa au #seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa fluff #college au series

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artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Gimme Love, 8/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Oof! After this part, we have one more chapter. Things start to look a little bit better for Brie in this part of the story. Not completely, but she's getting there. Enjoy!

TW for this chapter: mental health mentions

2020

A week later, still no change on the Ed Sheeran thing. Launch day was just around the corner, and my nerves were wrecked. And Jujubee still hadn't spoken a word to me.

It was only morning time, and I hadn't even been awake for 5 minutes. Already so many things were playing in my mind.

I still hadn't reinstalled Messenger. So I had no idea whether Blair had replied or not. I really wanted to just forget about her already, but it was slow. I probably should have applied for counselling sessions with HR. I hired a lady a few years prior named Dela, and apparently, she was brilliant.

But therapy could wait until after the launch.

I had seen Jujubee at work a few more times, either making eye contact and looking away just as quick or trying to say hello at least. She'd just brush by.

I tried texting her but never received a reply. As much as she had pissed me off, I missed her. A lot.

"Hey, this is Jujubee. Leave a message."

Beep.

"Hey, Juju, it's me." I paused, struggling to figure out where to go from there, "Look, I...I know things are bad between you and me. But I...I don't want to lose you."

I couldn't think of what else to say.

'Please, talk to me?'

'You mean a lot to me.'

My silence was going on too long. "I...hope to see you at the prelaunch party...OK. Bye"

I hung up, burying my face in my pillow, feeling very pathetic. And because I was impatient, I thought to try reinstalling Messenger and try there.

Or was that too much? And did I really want to risk seeing a reply from a certain someone?

...Fuck it, I was doing it. I'd just ignore her. Yeah, I'd do that.

Blair: Wow. I didn't think…

I never clicked a message quicker. I sat up with my back against the headboard, eyes already reading the message.

Blair: Wow. I didn't think you'd actually reply! For sure, girl, we need to hang out! I'm in New York for two weeks anyway. Perfect timing, right? Give me a call as soon as you get this. TTYL.

"Oh my God." I let the phone slip into my lap. How was this real? How the fuck hadn't she found that message creepy? Were things starting to look up? I couldn't just leave her on read. It was sent last week, meaning she was still in New York.

Good. This was good.

But still, why didn't she address the confession to my feelings? Why was she avoiding the subject?

Sorry, you have to hear my innermost thoughts, all these questions. It just goes to show the whirlwind my head was experiencing.

Make a move, Brie.

My thumb hovered over the phone icon in the upper right corner. Do I just...do it?

Yes.

I clicked the button. It rang for a few seconds, the nerves telling me to just give up.

"Hello?"

Why the fuck do the people on the other end always say 'hello' like they didn't see who is calling them?

Why was I even thinking that?? Focus, Brie.

"Hi," I said.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd call." She sounded surprised.

"I'm sorry I keep doing this," I said too quickly. "Anyway, yes. Let's hang out."

There was a moment of silence, and I realised how panicked I sounded.

"Brianna, are you OK?" I heard the concern.

"What? Yeah! Of course, I am." I cleared my throat, "Just a bit...stressed out. Trying to...deal with this launch thingie and...deal with Ed Sheeran, I don't know," I laughed nervously before almost slapping some sense into myself, "I'm not majorly stressed out, though. I can still hang out."

She laughed. And fuck I realised just how much I missed it.

"You always made me laugh. You wanna grab a coffee?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Great! When are you free? I would say today, but I'm stuck with this thingie…" She replied.

And a thought hit me. "Actually... there's gonna be a party for my thing. It's for that project I told you about...back on Prom night, I don't know if you remember."

"Of course I do, Brie. I've been following all the media coverage. It's pretty awesome."

"You have been?" I sounded a little too excited and then reminded myself to not sound too desperate, "I mean, that's pretty cool. But yeah, there's a party the night before the launch. I could add you to the list."

"Yeah, of course! I'd love to come."

"Fantastic. I'll send you the details."

"Well, I'll leave you to it then."

"Thanks."

"I can't wait."

"Me too."

"Bye, Brianna."

"Bye, Blair."

She did the awkward half-spoken "bye, bye, bye," and hung up.

I threw my phone down onto my duvet and puffed out a breath of air.

"Yes!" I punched the air, "Yes. Fucking yes."

Shit was definitely looking up.

I found myself loading up my emails. "Dear Ed Sheeran, I appreciate your enthusiasm about participating in our project. However, after some thinking, we would love for you to perform at the event instead. This is strictly for your safety and the safety of everyone else. Sorry for the inconvenience. Kindest regards, Brianna Caldwell and team."

Sent. Easier than I thought.

No matter what the reply would be, I felt strong. Two problems down in less than ten minutes.

All that was left was Jujubee and Mom.

Fuck...the Mom problem.

It wasn't that I didn't love her. I adored the woman with all my heart. But I was still afraid of that recurring conversation, the memories of how I was a problem child. And if it wasn't that, it was my Grandpa.

Funny how those were always the recurring topics, things I didn't want to address. And now, on top of things, we were going to have to talk about Piggie's health.

I sent her money for his medical bills, so maybe things were different for him.

But still, the other topics of conversation I just wish we could avoid…If only there was something else to talk about...

Wait.

I stared at my phone and instantly became very still.

There was one subject that had gone unaddressed for so long - too long. Oh, God.

Half an hour later, I was in the kitchen, shaky hands pouring a cup of coffee. I couldn't call Mom immediately. I needed to will myself, build up my willpower.

After two cups, I found Mom's name in my phone book, hesitated to hit call but forced myself.

I breathed deeply, taking a seat at the breakfast counter and put the phone to my ear.

Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring…

She answered but was silent.

"Mom?" I spoke.

"Hey, honey." She sounded deflated.

"Did you get the money?" That was all I could think of to start with.

"Yeah. It's actually really helped. He's already showing improvement." She paused. "Thanks, baby."

It was painful how thankful she sounded, yet so miserable.

"Mom, I'm gonna come see you," I confirmed.

"Really?"

"Yeah." I smiled upon hearing how she lightened up. "I'm sorry about last week. My phone just...cut off, I guess."

I heard a sniff before she spoke again, "It's OK. When are you coming around?"

"Well, I got the launch this week, so maybe not now. How about 2 weeks?"

"Yeah, that's perfect. I have a job interview to prepare for anyway. I applied to this new boutique that opened in town. My interview is next week."

"That's great!" I was actually excited for her. Things weren't just looking up for me, it seemed. "I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah, me too. I'm not even nervous. Just ready to start working again. Anyway, how about you?"

"Actually, Mom…" I paused, squeezing my hand into a tight fist.

"What's wrong, Brianna?" She lowered her tone.

How did she know? I didn't even sound sad. Mothers intuition? Because I always thought that was bullshit. Like, if I was a Mom, I'd be the worst in picking up on things.

"You there?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, I just…" I licked my lips and swallowed. "Mom. Why was I adopted?" I sighed. "Why did they give me up, Mom?"

She was silent for a moment. I could practically feel how she turned cold. "It's time, isn't it?"

I nodded, not that she would see, "Yeah. I...I need to know."

"OK...How about we talk about that when you come here?" She asked.

"No. I...wanna know. I need to know." My voice cracked. "Or I won't be able to move on."

She's silent again…just for a moment. And I felt like I crossed a line.

But she spoke. I hadn't crossed any line.

"OK...Brianna? I just want you to know that I love you, and I always will. No matter what, I'll never stop loving you." Her own voice was cracking now. "When you came into my life, I never realised I could be so happy, how I felt when I met you. You were this...little light that brightened the dark...a reminder that life wasn't so bad. And I promised I'd give you the best life. I'd be the best parent you'd ever have." She paused again. And I knew she was crying. "Brie, it wasn't that your parents didn't want you. I'm sure they knew that they would have been the luckiest parents in the world." She was crying. "Brie. They...they went for a drive one night. And it was raining really bad. And they…"

She was silent. But I nodded slowly, my eyes just staring at the counter, glassy with tears. "I-I understand."

"I'm sorry, baby." She whimpered. "I should have told you this years ago. I...I didn't know it would affect you for this long. I'm such an idiot."

I held my forehead in my hand. "No. No, Mom. You're not. You had no idea." I sniffed.

"I know. I know. But I just...I...How do you tell a child something like that?"

"Don't worry about that, you idiot. I know now." One of the tears finally slid down my cheek. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Brianna."

I smiled, wiping the tear away. And then a quiet laugh escaped. "OK, I can't lie. I don't wanna leave you like this right now. Let's talk some shit or something."

She laughed in return. "God, you and your potty mouth."

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #as5 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #blair x cracker #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #high school au #angst #gimme love #grinder #tw mental health mentions

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morwensteelsheen · 3 years

Note

I’m starting grad school this autumn and honestly I’m getting nervous. Like yes I am v excited about the whole prospect overall and I do miss being a student but am intimidated by 3 hr long seminars and thesis writing and massive amounts of reading… everyone keeps saying it’s gonna be very different from undergrad so okay, but how specifically? Is it the large amounts of reading? I already had insane amounts of reading (humanities degree hurrah) especially in my last two years but could you expound on your own experience and how you take notes/read quickly/summarize or just how to deal with first time grad students?

Oh, yeah for sure! A necessary disclaimer here is that I'm at a certain poncy English institution that is noted for being very bad at communicating with its students and very bad at treating its postgrad students like human beings, so a lot of these strategies I've picked up will be overkill for anyone who has the good sense to go somewhere not profoundly evil lol.

So I'll just preface this by saying that I am a very poor student in terms of doing what you're supposed to. I'm very bad at taking notes, I never learned how to do it properly, and I really, really struggle with reading dense literature. That said, I'm probably (hopefully?) going to get through this dumb degree just fine. Also — my programme is a research MPhil, not taught, so it's a teensy bit more airy-fairy in terms of structure. I had two classes in Michaelmas term, both were once a week for two hours each; two in Lent, one was two hours weekly, the other two hours biweekly; and no classes at all in Easter. I also have no exam component, I was/am assessed entirely on three essays (accounting for 30% of my overall mark) and my dissertation (the remaining 70%), which is, I think, a little different to how some other programmes are. I think even some of the other MPhils here are more strenuous than that, like Econ and Soc Hist is like 100% dissertation? Anyways, not super important, but knowing what you're getting marked on is important. I dedicated considerably less time than I did in undergrad to perfecting my coursework essays because they just don't hold as much weight now. The difference between a 68 and a 70 just wasn't worth the fuss for me, which helped keep me sane-ish.

The best advice anyone ever gave me was that, whereas an undergrad degree can kind of take over your life without it becoming a problem, you need to treat grad school like a job. That's not because it's more 'serious' or whatever, but because if you don't set a really strict schedule and keep to it, you'll burn yourself out and generally make your life miserable. Before I went back on my ADD meds at the end of Michaelmas term, I sat myself down at my desk and worked from 11sh to 1800ish every day. Now that I'm medicated, I do like 9:30-10ish to 1800-1900 (except for now that I'm crunching on my diss, where, because of my piss-poor time management skills I'm stuck doing, like, 9:30-22:30-23:00). If you do M-F 9-5, you'll be getting through an enormous amount of work and leaving yourself loads of time to still be a human being on the edges. That'll be the difference between becoming a postgrad zombie and a person who did postgrad. I am a postgrad zombie. You do not want to be like me.

The 'work' element of your days can really vary. It's not like I was actually consistently reading for all that time — my brain would have literally melted right out of my ears — but it was about setting the routine and the expectation of dedicating a certain, consistent and routinized period of time for focusing on the degree work every day. My attention span, even when I'm medicated, is garbage, so I would usually read for two or three hours, then either work on the more practical elements of essay planning, answer emails, or plot out the early stages of my research.

In the first term/semester/whatever, lots of people who are planning on going right into a PhD take the time to set up their applications and proposals. I fully intended on doing a PhD right after the MPhil, but the funding as an international student trying to deal with the pandemic proved super problematic, and I realised that the toll it was taking on my mental health was just so not worth it, so I've chosen to postpone a few years. You'll feel a big ol' amount of pressure to go into a PhD during your first time. Unless you're super committed to doing it, just try and tune it out as much as you can. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a year (or two, or three, or ten) out, especially given the insane conditions we're all operating under right now.

I'll be honest with you, I was a phenomenally lazy undergrad. It was only by the grace of god and being a hard-headed Marxist that I managed to pull out a first at the eleventh hour. So the difference between UG and PG has been quite stark for me. I've actually had to do the reading this year, not just because they're more specialised and relevant to my research or whatever, but because, unlike in UG, the people in the programme are here because they're genuinely interested (and not because it's an economic necessity) and they don't want to waste their time listening to people who haven't done the reading.

I am also a really bad reader. Maybe it's partially the ADD + dyslexia, but mostly it's because I just haven't practiced it and never put in the requisite effort to learn how to do it properly. My two big pointers here are learning how to skim, and learning how to prioritise your reading.

This OpenU primer on skimming is a bit condescending in its simplicity, but it gets the point across well. You're going to want to skim oh, say, 90% of the reading you're assigned. This is not me encouraging you to be lazy, it's me being honest. Not every word of every published article or book is worth reading. The vast majority of them aren't. That doesn't mean the things that those texts are arguing for aren't worth reading, it just means that every stupid rhetorical flourish included by bored academics hoping for job security and/or funding and/or awards isn't worth your precious and scarce time. Make sure you get the main thrust of each text, make sure you pull out and note down one or two case studies and move right the hell on. There will be some authors whose writing will be excellent, and who you will want to read all of. Everything else gets skimmed.

Prioritisation is the other big thing. You're going to have shitty weeks, you're probably going to have lots of them. First off, you're going to need to forgive yourself for those now — everybody has them, yes, even the people who graduated with distinctions and go on to get lovely £100,000 AHRC scholarships. Acknowledge that there will be horrible weeks, accept it now, and then strategise for how to get ahead of them. My personal strategy is to plan out what I'm trying to get out of each course I take, and then focus only on the readings that relate to that topic.

I took a course in Lent term that dealt with race and empire in Britain between 1607 and 1900; I'm a researcher of the Scottish far left from 1968-present, so the overlap wasn't significant. But I decided from the very first day of the course that I was there to get a better grasp about the racial theories of capitalism and the role of racial othering in Britain's subjugation of Ireland. Those things are helpful to me because white supremacist capitalism comes up hourly in my work on the far left, and because the relationship of the Scottish far left to Ireland is extremely important to its self definition. On weeks when I couldn't handle anything else, I just read the texts related to that. And it was fine, I did fine, I got my stupid 2:1 on the final essay, and I came out of it not too burnt out to work on my dissertation.

Here is where I encourage you to learn from my mistakes: get yourself a decent group of people who you can have in depth conversations about the material with. I was an asshole who decided I didn't need to do that with any posh C*mbr*dge twats, and I have now condemned myself to babbling incomprehensible nonsense at my partner because I don't have anyone on my course to work through my ideas with. These degrees are best experienced when they're experienced socially. In recent years (accelerated by the pandemic, ofc), universities have de-emphasised the social component of postgrad work, largely to do with stupid, long-winded stuff related to postgrad union organising etc. It's a real shame because postgrads end up feeling quite socially isolated, and because they're not having these fun and challenging conversations, their work actually suffers in the long term. This is, and I cannot stress this enough, the biggest departure from undergrad. Even the 'weak links' or whatever judgemental nonsense are there because they want to be. That is going to be your biggest asset. Talk, talk, talk. Listen, listen, listen. Offer to proofread people's papers so you get a sense of how people are thinking about things, what sort of style they're writing in, what sources they're referring to. Be a sponge and a copycat (but don't get done for plagiarism, copy like this.) Also: ask questions that seem dumb. For each of your classes, ask your tutors/lecturers who they think the most important names in their discipline are. It sounds silly, but it's really helpful to know the intellectual landscape you're dealing with, and it means you know whose work you can go running to if you get lost or tangled up during essay or dissertation writing!

You should also be really honest about everything — another piece of advice that I didn't follow and am now suffering for. The people on your courses and in your cohort are there for the same reasons as you, have more or less the same qualifications as you, and are probably going to have a lot of the same questions and insecurities as you. If you hear an unfamiliar term being used in a seminar, just speak up and ask about it, because there're going to be loads of other people wondering too. But you should also cultivate quite a transparent relationship with your supervisor. I was really cagey and guarded with mine because my hella imposter syndrome told me she was gonna throw my ass out of the programme if I admitted to my problems. Turns out no, she wouldn't, and that actually she's been a super good advocate for me. If you feel your motivation slipping or if you feel like you're facing challenges you could do with a little extra support on, go right to your supervisor. Not only is that what they're there to do, they've also done this exact experience before and are going to be way more sympathetic and aware of the realities of it than, say, the uni counselling service or whatever.

Yeah so I gotta circle back to the notes thing... I really do not take notes. It's my worst habit. Here's an example of the notes I took for my most recent meeting with my supervisor (revising a chapter draft).

No sane person would ever look at these and think this is a system worth replicating lol. But the reason they work for me is because I also record (with permission) absolutely everything. My mobile is like 90% audio recordings of meetings and seminars lol. So these notes aren't 'good' notes, but they're effective for recalling major points in the audio recording so I can listen to what was said when I need to.

Sorry none of this is remotely organised because it's like 2330 here and my brain is so soft and mushy. I'm literally just writing things as I remember them.

Right, so: theory is a big thing. Lots of people cheap out on this and it's to their own detriment. You say you're doing humanities, and tbh, most of the theory involved on the humanities side of the bridge is interdisciplinary anyways, so I'm just gonna give you some recommendations. The big thing is to read these things and try to apply them to what you're writing about. This sounds so fucking condescending but getting, like, one or two good theoretical frameworks in your papers will actually put you leaps and bounds beyond the students around you and really improve your research when the time comes. Also: don't read any of these recommendations without first watching, like an intro youtube video or listening to a podcast. The purists will tell you that's the wrong way to do it, but I am a lazy person and lazy people always find the efficient ways to do things, so I will tell the purists to go right to hell.

Check out these impenetrable motherfuckers (just one or two will take your work from great to excellent, so don't feel obliged to dig into them all):

Karl Marx and Fredrich Engels (I'm not just pushing my politics, but also, I totally am) — don't fucking read Capital unless you're committed to it. Oh my god don't put yourself through that unless you really have to. Try, like, the 18th Brumaire of Louis Napoleon for the fun quotes, and Engels on the family.

Frantz Fanon — Wretched of the Earth. Black Skin White Masks also good, slightly more impossible to read

Benedict Anderson — Imagined Communities. It's about nationalism, but you will be surprised at how applicable it is to... so many other topics

Judith Butler — she really sucks to read. I love her. But she sucks to read. If you do manage to read her though, your profs will love you because like 90% of the people who say they've read her are lying

Bourdieu — Distinction is good for a lot of things, but especially for introducing the idea of social and cultural capital. There's basically no humanities sub-discipline that can't run for miles on that alone.

Crenshaw — the genesis of intersectionality. But, like, actually read her, not the ingrates who came after her and defanged intersectionality into, like, rainbow bombs dropped over Gaza.

The other thing is that you should read for fun. My programme director was absolutely insistent that we all continue to read for pleasure while we did this degree, not just because it's good for destressing, but because keeping your cultural horizons open actually makes your writing better and more interesting. I literally read LOTR for the first time in, like February, and the difference in my writing and thinking from before and after is tangible, because not only did it give me something fun to think about when I was getting stressy, but it also opened up lots of fun avenues for thought that weren't there before. I read LOTR and wanted to find out more about English Catholics in WWI, and lo and behold something I read about it totally changed how I did my dissertation work. Or, like, a girl on my course who read the Odyssey over Christmas Break and then started asking loads of questions about the role of narrative creation in the archival material she was using. It was seriously such a good edict from our director.

Also, oh my god, if you do nothing else, please take this bit seriously: forgive yourself for the bad days. The pressure in postgrad is fucking unreal. Nobody, nobody is operating at 100% 100% of the time. If you aim for 60% for 80% of the time and only actually achieve 40% for 60% of the time, you will still be doing really fucking well. Don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. Don't make yourself feel bad because you're not churning out publishable material every single day. Some days you just need to lie on the couch, order takeout, and watch 12 hours of Jeopardy or whatever, and I promise you that that is a good and worthwhile thing to do. You don't learn and grow without rest, so forgive yourself for the moments and days of unplanned rest, and forgive yourself for when you don't score as highly as you want to, and forgive yourself when you say stupid things in class or don't do all of (or any of) the class reading.

Uhhhh I think I'm starting to lose the plot a bit now. Honestly, just ping me whatever questions you have and I'm happy to answer them. There's a chance I'll be slower to respond over the next few days because my dissertation is due in a week (holy fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I will definitely respond. And honestly, no question is too dumb lol. I wish I'd been able to ask someone about things like what citation management software is best or how to set up a desk for maximum efficiency or whatever, but I was a scaredy-cat about it and didn't. So yeah, ask away and I will totally answer.

#asks

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years

Text

CSI Rogers and Barnes Ch 12: An Excelsior Turn Of Events

Part 2 Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

REMINDER! Episode Warnings: Bad Language words.

Make sure you read Part 1 first!!!

Steve looked up, frowning slightly as he saw Katie walk into the office, followed by Fury.

"Sir?" He looked from Katie to his boss, as he stood up from his desk "I wasn't expecting to see you today?"

Fury closed the door and strode over the room, taking the seat that Steve gestured towards. Katie sat down next to him, her eyes following Steve back round the desk as he looked at her once more, shrugging slightly as he sat down.

"Well I wasn't anticipating being here." Fury said, his eyes looking around the room before he glanced back at Steve "That was until I received a very interesting call yesterday. From a concerned member of your team."

Steve glanced at Katie who had suddenly paled.

"What about?" he asked, his eyes flicking back to Fury.

"You two." he said simply. "How you are..." Fury waved a hand, "Dating, or whatever you want to call it."

Shit.

"Sir, look, this-" Steve started to speak but Fury simply held his hand up.

"I didn't need the call to tell me." he implored, looking at Steve then Katie "I may only have one eye but I’m not blind…”

Katie took a deep breath and looked to Steve, for once she was lost for words. Steve locked his lips and then took a deep breath "You know, Sir, technically we're not breaking any rules as Stark reporting to Coulson."

Fury raised an eyebrow, an amused look on his face “That’s a very small loophole Captain…"

"But a loophole nonetheless..." Katie responded. Furry turned to face her, almost as if he was considering her point before he shook his head.

"Yes, but it is also irrelevant as I’m pulling you back to New York permanently, Stark, and ending your secondment.”

Steve let out a sigh, he wasn't surprised. He knew from the various calls and emails he had with Coulson that the Captain was getting restless about not knowing what was going on but he hadn't wanted to trouble Katie about it anymore, especially when she was struggling to make a decision about what to do. He wanted it to be her decision and hers alone, despite what he had said the previous night. He wanted her back, of course he did, but whatever she decided he was adamant they would work through it. But now, that decision had been taken out of her hands.

He watched as Katie, showing no emotion other than a blink of surprise, which unless you knew her you would miss. "Can I ask why?” she said, her voice even.

“Coulson is a body down, and he can’t sustain it any longer so he needs to recruit permanently." Fury replied simply "I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but you can’t come back to the 101, unless you two end it…and I wouldn’t want to make you do that. Who am I to interfere with affairs of the heart…” he said with a slight smile.

"So you’re gonna assign me to another precinct?” Katie asked, her voice still passive but Steve could see from the look in her eyes she was trying not to display how disappointed she was, despite the fact that they had both known this would happen the minute they went public.

“I spoke to Captain Holt yesterday afternoon. He is more than happy to welcome you back to the 99…or I can look for-“

“No…” Katie cut him off, shaking her head. "I have to leave the 101 then the 99 is where I’d want to go.”

Steve let out a soft sigh of relief. Going back to the 99 from both a professional point of view and a personal one was the best outcome they could have asked for. They all knew her, so she wasn't going to have to prove herself all over again to a set of new colleagues. Plus he knew Captain Holt to be a fair man and a great Captain, even if his style was completely different to his own. He'd make sure she was looked after.

Fury nodded, smiling "I thought you might say that. I'll get HR to raise the paperwork as soon as I get back. You can finish up the week here and then until the transfer goes through you'll be placed on paid leave..."

At that Katie frowned "You're taking me off the case?"

"Sir, is that really necessary?" Steve began to protest "I mean, Katie's been with this from-"

“Captain, I’m sorry but it could lead to all sorts of problems." Fury shook his head "All it takes is for a defence lawyer gets a sniff of this and it’s enough of a chink for them to exploit accusing you of being distracted, our eyes not being on the prize so to speak...”

"Oh, come on Nick…” Steve scoffed, shaking his head "That's an insult to both of us! Do you seriously think we can't-"

“Steve, it's fine." Katie shook her head looking at him. "I get it.”

Steve held her gaze as she took a deep breath, he could see she was upset but had resigned herself to this being the way it had to be. He looked at her, frantically trying to reassure her in some way, and in some ways apologise about the fact that it was her professional career that was, once again, being tipped upside down because of him, but she simply shrugged and he saw her stoic front slip slightly as she turned to Fury, blinking back the tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Stark." Fury sighed, and Steve could see he was being genuine. And from the sounds of it so did Katie.

“I understand Sir. May I be dismissed?”

“Yes” Fury nodded, looking at her.

Katie rose from her seat, nodding to him then to Steve “Captain…”

He looked at her for a moment, knowing full well she was proving a point, being professional so he waved her away and she left pulling the door closed behind her.

As soon as the door shut Steve turned to Fury shaking his head. “I can’t believe you’re pulling her off this…”

“Officially, yes.” Fury remarked, looking at something on the ceiling. Steve frowned, watching as the man turned his face to Steve and levelled him with a look "But I can’t be responsible for what she has access to or sees in her spare time now can I?”

Steve understood instantly and shook his head, snorting, a smile playing on his face. “Fury, you son of a bitch…”

“Ooh, hooo, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Fury looked back at him. Steve raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling a little calmer about the situation. If they could keep Katie working this on the low, it was better than nothing. Sadly, it meant she wouldn't get any of the plaudits should they solve the case but it was better than nothing. She wasn't about glory, merely doing the job and doing the job well. And the reason he had asked her to come back from DC was because she was one of the best Officers he knew.

“Now." Fury looked at Steve "About Miss Maximoff…”

Steve frowned, as Fury held his gaze, before it clicked in his mind and he gave a low groan "She was the one that called?"

“You know I can't officially tell you that, but, well I'm not letting her off scot free.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t like disloyalty” Fury shook his head, “Yes you and Stark were breaking rules, but as it's a dumbass rule I elected to ignore it. That is until she called. Anyway, I'm giving you the opportunity to have her transferred as well…to Statten Island. We'll call it career development."

Steve snorted “She can go, I’ll pack her stuff myself”

Fury laughed “I’ll let you deliver the news to her then. As soon as you give me the nod, I’ll sort you another assistant too. You may have to share with another precinct until we can recruit but…”

Steve nodded.

“I’m sorry.” Fury apologised again as he rose from his seat, and Steve shook his head as he too stood.

“It's fine Sir. We both knew that this would happen at some point.”

“Some risks are worth taking though, huh?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Steve smiled.

“Well, for what it's worth Howard would be pleased.” Fury nodded "He thought very highly of you, often stated he wished the pair of you would wake up and see what was right in front of you."

Steve let out a chuckle "He must have been speaking to my ma."

"They knew each other didn't they?" Fury asked.

"Yeah, childhood friends." Steve smiled.

"Hmm." Fury mused, before he looked around and dropped his voice "On the subject of Howard..." Steve took a breath, the words 'trust no one' echoing in his head from the video. He had no doubt in his mind he could trust Fury, but still he hesitated for a moment before he answered as honestly as he coul.

"I know what you’re gonna say and yes, Katie cracked the encryption. We just…well, we need time to work through what we found. When we do, I’ll let you know.”

Fury nodded “Ok”

With that he held out his hand, Steve shook it, and then Fury swept out of the office. ***** The door to Steve's office opened and Bucky looked up to see Katie striding out. He could tell instantly she was upset but as he opened his mouth she shook her head at him to tell him to keep quiet. Doing as she asked, he simply watched as she sat down at her computer, simply staring at the screen. He could see clearly from her eyes that she wasn't reading or doing anything. He looked over at Clint who looked at him, before they both glanced at Natasha. She was leaning back in her chair, shooting daggers at Wanda, who was in turn completely ignoring her. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Fury had gotten wind of what was going on between Steve and Katie, and it also didn't take a genius to figure out who had tipped him off. No one spoke for a few moments, until the door to Steve's office opened again and Fury strode out, followed shortly by the Captain. And for the first time in his life, Bucky found himself unable to get a read on his best friend, which in itself was unnerving.

"Wanda, can I have a word please?" Steve spoke, his tone even and polite. Wanda looked at him, her face slipping before she stood up and followed him. As soon as the door shut behind them Bucky sat up straight and looked at Katie. "What's going on?" "Someone blew the whistle, on me and Steve." she said simply, her eyes turning back to him from where they had been fixed on a door "And you don't need to be Einstein to figure out who..." "Sneaky bitch." Natasha sighed, shaking her head.

"So I'm being pulled back from DC and moved over the 99." Katie shrugged.

"But after we solve the case, right?" Clint said, his tone hopeful. Katie shook her head and both Clint and Natasha let out exclamations of anger.

"It's fine." Katie shook her head, "We knew the risks and if I had to choose a precinct to go to it would be the 99. I know everyone, I enjoyed it there and Holt is a good man so..." with that she stood up "I'm gonna get another coffee, anyone-" But before she could finish her sentence the door to Steve's office flew open and Wanda came blazing out, a look of rage on her face as she bee lined for Katie.

"You fucking bitch." she hissed, and before anyone could move she'd launched herself at the Sergeant, her hand raised, nails flying at her face like a cat would swipe with its claws. Katie gave a yell as Wanda attacked her and Bucky flew from his seat, but before he had a chance to intervene Katie had stepped back slightly and her right hand drew back, her fist connecting straight with Wanda's nose, a loud crack ringing around the office as the place erupted into pandemonium. Shouts and the general kerfuffle associated with a fight filled the air as Bucky grabbed hold of Katie, pulling her back whilst Steve quickly appeared, stepping in between the two women as Wanda picked herself up of the floor, slapping away Natasha's offer of help.

"She hit me...." Wanda spat, wiping at her nose which was billowing blood.

"Give me a chance and I'll do it again, you spiteful little-" "ENOUGH!" Steve bellowed, silencing the office. "I won't stand for this, you hear me? I'm running a fucking Police Department not a goddamned school yard..." "Look what she did to my nose!" Wanda spat, grabbing a tissue from the box Clint was holding out. Bucky noticed the man wasn't even looking at Wanda as he did so, he was looking at Katie, his eyebrow raised.

"Look what you did to her cheek." Clint shrugged, and Bucky turned to Katie, Steve doing the same, both men frowning as they saw the nail marks down the side of her cheek, which were also bleeding.

Katie raised her hand to her face and let out a loud noise of annoyance through her nose as she looked at the blood on her hand. "Fucks sake..." "You ok?" Steve looked at her, Bucky could tell he was fighting the urge to sweep her into his arms, trying to remain professional and Katie simply nodded.

"I was until she came flying out of your office and went loco." "That's true." Clint offered "She went for Stark first."

“They’re transferring me because of you…” Wanda hissed, looking at Katie. Bucky saw Stark blink before she grinned a little and let out a laugh.

"Looks your little stunt back fired slightly then didn’t it you stupid bitch!”

“God you really think you’re fucking special…” Wanda spat at her “Fuck knows what on Earth-“

“I said enough..." Steve spoke again, cutting her off, his voice firm but calm. He looked at Katie and spoke to her gently "Go sort your face and take an early lunch…”

She looked at him, but Bucky knew she was clever enough to recognise when she was being dismissed. She simply nodded her agreement and grabbed her jacket and her bag. He looked at Natasha who was already moving, giving him a nod as she picked up her purse and followed Stark out of the room.

Once they were gone, Steve turned to Wanda. “Wanda, you moving has nothing to do with Stark, it was Fury’s idea. He feels your career needs development." "Bullshit." Wanda spat, "This is nothing more than petty revenge." "Ok you want the truth?" Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and Bucky watched, a smile playing on his face. It wasn't often Steve got the urge to break rules but this was clearly one of them. "Fury doesn’t like disloyalty and neither do I. Simply put a Captain can’t have people on his team they don’t trust. You going behind my back to Fury was sneaky and spiteful and he won’t stand for it and neither will I.”

Wanda glared at him as she wiped her nose with a tissue, Steve continuing.

"But that's off the record and I'll deny it, as will Fury." he shrugged. “Get to medical, and then you can take the next 2 weeks paid leave. After that you’ll be heading over to Statten Island.”

At that Clint let out a snort "Statten Island…"

"Shut up Barton." Steve snapped, and Bucky bit back the smirk that was threatening to cross his own face. Statten Island was known to be the most boring precinct in New York.

“You can stick your transfer.” Wanda shook her head “I quit”

There was a slight pause before Steve shrugged "Ok. I accept your resignation. You can clear your desk and I’ll inform HR. No need to work your notice. I’ll ensure you’re paid for it.”

With that he turned and headed back to his office. Bucky leaned back in his chair, pride swelling in his chest at the way Steve had, albeit very subtly, stood up for his girl. But Wanda just couldn't let it lie.

"Why do you like her?” she blurt out. Steve paused, and turned back to face her.

“Excuse me?”

“Stark…why do you like her? I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t like her Wanda.” Steve shrugged, “I love her” and with that he walked back into his office, closing the door.

A silence fell over the office as Bucky and Clint exchanged a look. Bucky noticed Clint wasn't even trying to hide the enormous grin that had spread across his face.

"Well, that was entertaining..." he said, leaning back in his chair "What next? Naked mud wrestling?" "Fuck you." Wanda spat, as she moved to her desk.

Clint stood up, and retrieved a box from under his desk. "Here, once you've had your nose seen to you'll need that for your stuff. I'll help you carry it down to your car."

"Thanks." she said, taking it from him.

Clint nodded, and turned away muttering to Bucky under his breath. "Just to make sure she actually leaves."

******

"I still can't believe she quit, just like that." Katie shook her head "I mean, that's a really dumbass move." "Well, I think it was her pride more than anything." Steve shrugged, turning left out of the car lot. "I'll give it a few days, see if she changes her mind. I doubt it though, she'll be pissed for sure after what I said to her."

"What do you mean?" Katie asked.

"Well she wasn't letting go that easily." Steve said, glancing in the mirror. "So she asked me why I liked you."

Katie gave a scoff from her seat.

"I told her I didn't." Steve continued, side glancing at her as he spoke "But that I love you." A soft smile spread across her face and she turned to look at him, "You did?" "Course, its true." he said, his eyes locking onto hers for a moment before he turned them back to the road. "Maybe if I'd done it sooner it would have put a stop to her bitching and you wouldn't have fingernail marks down your face."

Katie shook her head "That's not your fault Steve. We both decided to try and keep it quiet remember? And I outed us anyway, that's what tipped her over the edge." "Honey, it was going to come out anyway at some point, I told you that yesterday. But, maybe if I'd stepped up and stopped her stupid little antics beforehand, even without mentioning you...”

"Stevie." she cut him off, shaking her head "Just, don't think about it anymore. It's done. We have a way forward and in a way I'm relieved." "You are?" "Yeah, I mean ok I'm not happy about having to leave the 101 but you know I love the guys at 99 and it means we don't have to hide anymore. Finally there's absolutely nothing stopping us. We can do things like lunch together or breakfast together or grab a coffee on breaks without looking over our shoulders. We don't have to date in secret... it makes it more...I dunno, real. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, yeah it does." Steve smiled, it made perfect sense. Sneaking around had made them feel like they were doing something wrong, but now it was out they were free to just be together, like they had waited for so damned long to be. They fell into a comfortable silence, Steve stopping at the light, glancing out to his left he spotted a flower stall on the side of the road. That was something he hadn't done for Katie yet, bought her some flowers. He knew her favourites were calla lilies and daisies, and he was just making a mental note to remember to get her some at some point soon when she spoke his name and nodded to indicate the lights had turned green.

"I really, really don't like this car." Steve mumbled as it failed to accelerate to his liking when he put his foot down. "Sooner the insurance company sort my pay out the better."

"What's wrong with it?" Katie asked, turning to face him.

"It's just all wrong." he shrugged.

"And you call me a brat." she chuckled.

Steve gave a snort "They said like for like hire replacement." he glanced at her "I had a Q5, this is not a Q5.”

“I know, it's an A5”

“Exactly, it's not the same." he concluded.

“Has a 5 in it.” she shrugged, her eyes focussed on the road ahead of them but he could see her mouth curling up into a smirk.

"Doll, just don’t…” he said, and she turned her head to face him, the angry red scratches on her cheek standing out against her smooth skin.

“Can I put my feet on the dash in this one?”

Steve glared at her

“What, it’s not yours.” she continued.

“I’m borrowing so no, you can’t."

Giving a chuckle she reached out with her left hand for his right as it lay on the centre arm rest between them, pulling it over onto her lap, her fingers playing with his as she looked down at his hand, tracing shapes on his palm. He'd noticed it was something she did as they sat watching TV at night, something she hadn't done to him before she'd taken his hand in the car that night after the Christmas Party. Steve understood why, because in a way it felt really intimate. And he liked it.

“I like this car better anyway” she said, her eyes flicking back up to his face.

“Why?”

“It’s sleeker and sexier." she shrugged "The other one was too sensible. It was something a dad would drive.”

“A Daddy’s car, huh?” Steve looked at her, grinning.

“That’s not what…oh whatever.” she snorted, shaking her head as he gave her a little smirk, before he saw one flicker across her face too.

“I think Ari had a Q5 actually…”

“Oh come on!” Steve spluttered as she let out a loud laugh “Don’t make me smack the stupid off of you…”

“There was nothing stupid about Ari” Katie said, with a dramatic, over the top nostalgic sigh, teasing him.

“I said off you." Steve looked at her "I don’t know that Ari guy…”

“He’s not a guy, he’s a man. You’re a guy.”

“I’m a guy?”

“Yeah…” she turned to look at him “My guy.”

“That line is as shit as this car.”

Katie's laugh turned into a groan “Oh not again Steve…it takes you to places, that’s more than enough.”

Steve chuckled, pulling his hand up bringing hers with it to place a soft kiss to the back just underneath her knuckles.

“Still think you were dumb getting rid of the mustang…” she said as he let her fingers go, moving his hand back to the wheel so he could take a left turn.

“Well it was 3 years old and…” he stopped himself dead from finishing his sentence, but as ever he wasn't going to get away with it.

“What?” Katie asked

“Nothing…”

“Steve..." her tone was warning and he sighed, realising she wouldn't let it drop.

"Well, and Peggy didn’t like it.” he shrugged “Said I needed something more sensible.”

“Oh Fuck Peggy.” Katie shook her head and he turned to her, his eyebrow raised "I liked it. In fact, I think you should get one when your money comes through…”

“We’ll see…” he shrugged. If truth be told that Mustang had been the nicest car he'd owned, and his favourite. It was fun to drive, moved like you wouldn't believe and the growl it had when you put your foot on the gas was enough to make him purr with delight every time he did it. Maybe another one wasn't such a bad idea.

After another 10 minutes or so they reached the graveyard and Steve pulled the car into a spare space. The two of them climbed out, and Steve took Katie’s hand in his as they walked down the path.

“He said the first row, furthest one to the right…” Katie mused, as they wound their way through the various memorials and monoliths, before they reached the new stone. Steve shivered slightly, this whole thing was a little too creepy for his liking.

It wasn’t long until Katie nudged him and nodded towards a small, elderly looking man that was striding towards them, a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes, a hat pulled down over his head. He stopped besides them, looking down at the grave before he spoke.

“You do look like your mother.” he said, looking at Katie, before his face turned to Steve and the Captain saw the lines at the end of his eyes crinkle in a smile “I thought you’d be taller.”

“Sir, I don’t know-“ Steve began but the man pulled a face.

“I don’t want to be here longer than possible so we don’t have time for pleasantries, my apologies.” he said gently, “I’ll get straight to the point.”

He reached inside his jacket and Steve stiffened slightly, placing himself in between Katie and the man as he suddenly realised he had no idea what the guy was concealing. His hand reached for the gun on his hip, and he thought he had been subtle about it, but he realised he hadn’t as Katie gently squeezed his arm and the man chuckled.

“And they say chivalry is dead, a fine trait Captain.” he nodded as he pulled out a manila file and what looked like a video disc.

“What’s this?” Katie asked, reaching out to take it.

“Information in the form of a video of an interview and associated documentation. The documents belonged to your father and he gave me a copy of them so that I could continue to dig into things should he…” the man sighed, looking at her.

“Should something happen to him?” Katie swallowed.

The man gave her a sympathetic look, before he continued. “To cut a long story short, Howard uncovered a conspiracy within the NYPD one that I believe to be linked to your case.”

Katie took the file off him, and began to flick through the notes whilst Steve took the disc.

“The cover up involved Brock Rumlow.” the man spoke and Steve’s eyes snapped to Katie’s as she looked at him, then to the man “You see, after what happened to you, my dear, your dad pushed and pushed for Rumlow to be sacked but in the end he was allowed to resign…” “We know all this.” Steve said, a little impatiently. “I was there, we both were…” “Yes, but the thing is Howard took it personally, and wouldn’t let it lie so he started to dig into the rape case, off radar. As a consequence he discovered a huge cover up. Someone was paid to give Rumlow an alibi.” Katie shook her head, “I fucking knew it…” she turned to the man “Let me guess, the money came from Ross?”

He nodded “he was being blackmailed by someone, someone who had compromising photos.”

“Yeah we saw.” Steve said.

The elderly man pulled a face. “I wish I hadn’t…but, anyway. Ross also put pressure on Schmidt to get Sara Klein to drop the case.”

Steve looked at Katie who let out a sigh. “Who? Who was it that was pulling the strings?”

“He never said. Not directly, however you’ll find the answer in there just as I did.” he said, “Now, please forgive me, but I really do need to go. I can’t be seen in the area. It would severely compromise my cover.” He turned to go and Steve frowned, watching him for a second, until Katie stepped forward a little.

“And my parents?” Katie looks at him “Do you think they were killed like Fury does?”

The man sighed “I remain suspicious about how your parents died.” he said, looking down “Because it happened the day after your dad gave me the interview.” he nodded to the file

“The interview is my dad?” Katie frowned.

He nodded.

“You’re a reporter?” Steve stated, and the man nodded.

“I was, a long time ago. When Ross was murdered it piqued my interest and then when Sitwell turned up too, then Schmidt…well, it was too much to be a coincidence…especially seeing as the murderer you’re tracking is using the same MO as what may or may not have happened to your parents. I couldn’t deny it or keep it hidden any longer.”

Katie shook her head “You should have come forward sooner! My parents deserved that at least.”

Steve placed his hand on her shoulder, she was getting worked up he could see that and he didn’t blame her. Not one bit.

“I’m not proud of it Miss Stark…but I had a wife and I wasn’t going to put her in danger not unnecessarily. Then the murders started and, well, they can’t kill you if you’re already dead…” the man said simply, nodding to the grave they were stood in front of “And if they put me in the ground next to her then, so be it…”

“I can organise protection…” Steve offered, and the man shook his head, smiling

“Captain, I’m almost 80 years old. If my time is up…well, at least I can go with a clear conscience now. Good luck to both of you. Excelsior.” And with that he left. Steve watched him go, feeling pretty uneasy about how much of a target this was going to put on his back but he was distracted when Katie spoke.

“Well, at least we know his name, look.”

Steve did as was told “In memory of Joan Lee, beloved wife to Stan…” he trailed off as he read the rest of the tribute, before he reached the short epitaph at the bottom. “ How lucky I was to have had something that made saying goodbye so hard. Excelsior…where have I seen or heard that word before?” Steve looked at Katie, “Excelsior I mean?”

“It’s on the coat of arms of the state of New York.” she answered “It’s Latin, translates as ‘ever upwards’, or ‘even higher’, words to that effect.”

Steve blinked “How do you remember this stuff?”

“Guess it just kinda stuck with me from the academy.” she shrugged, before she gave a shiver and looked down at the file “Let’s get out of here and see what this says.” They made their way back to Steve’s, deeming it the safest place to go through the information, without fear of being interrupted. Whilst they drove, Katie googled Stan Lee and discovered he had been an investigative journalist, one that was noted for his hard hitting and unbiased articles and his detailed work with the NYPD, having worked with them on a few notorious cases.

When they arrived at the apartment, Katie told Steve she didn’t want to watch the video, not unless they absolutely needed to. She said wanted to focus more on the other pieces of information and evidence that had come with the file but Steve suspected it also had something to do with the emotions she would no doubt feel at seeing her father on screen again over 5 years after he had died. He didn’t say anything though, simply agreed, and as such, they were sat on the floor by the couch, paper spread all over the floor as they sifted through, trying to find the answer to their question, which Lee had assured them was in there.

“Why didn’t he just fucking tell us?” Katie grumbled, reaching out for another piece of paper.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Steve sighed, as his eyes scanned the transcript of the interview between Howard and Lee that was contained on the disc “Maybe he enjoys the idea of people finding links for themselves, you know, making the connections through easter eggs, I don’t know…”

“He could have at least given us a clue, you know? Some kind of…I dunno, indication of where to look…” she mumbled before she trailed off as she frowned, looking at the item she had just picked up. She scrambled for another piece she had dropped onto a pile before and placed them both flat on the floor “Stevie, look at this.”

He moved so he could see the papers side by side, his eyes flicking over the information. The first was a copy of a birth certificate. “Unnamed boy…DOB December 5th 1976… Mother Alana Bevon…”

“Now look at this one…” She tapped the one to the right. His eyes feel wide as he read the information, “It’s a death certificate…for Alana Bevon…fuck, she died in childbirth, aged 16?” “Yup, and this is an Adoption order. Said un-named male baby was adopted…by a Mrs and Mrs Rumlow…”

“Rumlow was adopted?” Steve’s eyebrows raised as she placed that piece of paper down on the floor on top of the birth certificate. She made a noise of agreement as she reached for the next document that had come in that particular bunch from the file and paused.

“Holy fucking shit…” she whispered, her eyes wide.

“Doll?” Steve frowned “What is it?”

Wordlessly she handed him a piece of paper. It was a letter confirming a set of DNA results. Dated 2 days before Howard died. As he read the information he felt his blood run cold and he blinked a few times to make sure he was reading it correctly.

“This…Chief Pearce is Rumlow’s biological father? He got a 16 year old pregnant?”

“It explains why he would be shielding him…years of guilt…” Katie’s breathing was deep. “Fuck, Steve…this…this is insane.” “We need to call Fury…” Steve’s logical brain kicked in, thankfully, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, frowning as it immediately began to light up in his hand. It was Bucky.

“Buck, sorry pal but I gotta call Fury, we made a breakthrough, its Pearce…the guy who’s been covering up for Rumlow…” he answered but Bucky cut him off with a sigh.

“Well that’s unfortunate. Because I just got a call from Thor. Pearce was found dead in his car about 30 minutes ago”

#csi rogers and barnes #csi au #steve rogers #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes

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prorevenge · 5 years

Text

Got my boss arrested for possessing child porn also resulted in CEO arrested for embezzlement.

I apologize for the long-windedness of this story. I'm not a writer, so I am just writing from memory and it got a bit longer than I had originally anticipated.

Almost 2 decades ago, I worked in the magazine publishing industry as an advertising and marketing manager. What this meant is that I sold advertising spaces in our line of various publications. You know those fancy clothing ads or product ads in between articles? Yeah those. And when you're good at it, you can make embarrassingly large stacks of cash. I was about 20 years old, making a very healthy $150K/year. So I thought I nailed a dream job.

My director, on the surface, seemed like the most awesome boss. He was charismatic, he knew how to lead. He was a retired Marine and was incredibly good at motivating his subordinates. He was friends with the actual Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, and had him come in to our company to teach us how to close sales. And yes, I know how to "sell you this pen."

My director, we'll call him D, was in actuality one of the shadiest people I've ever met and his over confidence in his skills led to not only his downfall but also led to a huge scandal in the company resulting in multiple investigations including his arrest and the CEO's arrest on different charges.

I won't get into the backstory of how I started there or how I rose up the ranks under D. All you need to know is that he took me under his wing to train me as his protégé. D was known in the company to create advertising initiatives that would be insanely profitable. He would then move one of his subordinates into managerial role on that project so he would move on to the next initiative. What most people didn't realize was that his initiatives were only sustainable for maybe 2 to 3 years before they would start losing money. But because D was such a prominent figure in the company, the manager who took over the project would take the blame for it, citing "lack of proper management skills." So D was largely untouchable and never took the blame.

D put me in charge of one of those initiatives. But instead of losing money, I was able to sustain it for more than 7 years. This gave me a staff of 200 additional sales reps to oversee. I was also the supervisor, the graphic designer, IT, HR, and I had my own accounts to manage as well so I was working from 6am to 11pm 6 days a week. Not including my commute of 1 hour each direction in Los Angeles traffic. I knew I was working myself into an early grave.

One of the things I always thought was weird about how D managed his subordinates was that he required everyone to provide him with their PC login and password. Keep in mind this was the early 2000's and our IT was barely able to build a corporate network so this was our best way to monitor what people did on their PC's (or so I was told).

It turns out, after hours, D would log on to their PC's and would not just go through their company emails (it was against company policy to use Outlook for any non-company related communication. And this was audited by D weekly). He would also look through people's browsing history. He would set everyone's browsers to automatically save any passwords entered, so he'd read their browser emails (Yahoo, Gmail, etc.). His justification was that he was looking for any evidence of corporate espionage or violations of proprietary information.

One of the most irritating was that he required everyone to save their company Outlook .PST files (where emails are stored) to his network drive. This allowed him to monitor people's company emails from his own computer.

So when our team got so big, we had to hire our own accounting team. Because they fell under D's jurisdiction, he had access to their PST files as well (but our accounting team didn't know this). This allowed him to monitor a lot of financial communication between our parent company, and also predict where budgetary changes were being made.

D would use this to maximize how he strategized his next project initiatives. He clandestinely knew where the money was going to be before anyone else so he had time to come up with plans on how to get a bigger chunk of that cash. On the outside, his ability to do this seemed almost preternatural. But all he was doing was just reading confidential emails without anyone knowing. All accounting information was kept confidential just within the finance team, so they didn't know D was readily accessing this information. Like I said, our IT team was barely conscious.

D decided he wanted to take a 2 week vacation and left me in charge of monitoring duties. He showed me where the PST files were. Internally, I was utterly aghast at how much he was looking at our personal communications. But, I was young, naïve, and making a salary that most 20-somethings could only dream of so I thought this was normal corporate operations.

During D's vacation, one of our reps dropped a cigarette down a plastic drain pipe outside the office. Turns out he'd been doing that for weeks and the back up of cigarette butts eventually caught fire and it set off the smoke alarm in the building. We were forced to evacuate and close up shop for the day. Because I could work remotely, I copied all the PST's to my laptop and headed home. That's when I discovered something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

In my haste to copy the PST files, I inadvertently copied D's to my computer as well. Out of morbid curiosity, I figured what the hell, why not? So I started looking through his emails. At first, I found emails to another director, where he was disclosing how he was able to 'go where the money is.' Turns out, another director in another branch was also doing the same thing and they were joking about how they were able to make so much money and set up the manager they left behind to fail. They talked about how they would share this financial information with advertisers, other publishing firms, etc. to put themselves in strategically advantageous positions for prime accounts. In a nutshell, what they were doing was sharing corporate information without tacit approval from the legal team. I saw junior associates get taken to court over this.

I also saw emails from several female colleagues who were mysteriously "removed" from the company. Turns out, D had 9 sexual harassment claims against him from these female colleagues. But because he was so profitable to the company, the CEO turned a blind eye, settled them out of court and then moved D to a different team to avoid any negative perceptions. Many of these emails between D and these female colleagues was very explicit, and it was very clear his advances were unwanted. Lots of dick pics, lots of pics of D and his wife engaged in sexual activities hoping the female colleague would want to join in, etc.

D also had a folder called "New Accounts". By this point, my image of D was shattered. The guy I thought was a great mentor was just a sleazebag. So I looked into that folder, and found a massive collection of some of the most explicit child porn. My mind will be forever haunted by the filth that I found there. Even just thinking about it now makes me want to cry for the lost innocence of those poor children. So I wanted to sink this guy.

My thought process was this: If I straight up reported the CP, it would be obvious where the reporting came from since I was the only one who had access to his PST file. I didn't want to have a vindictive angry Marine breathing down my neck. So instead, I reported the accounting irregularities through our anonymous company hotline. This would trigger an immediate investigation which includes a thorough audit of a person's computer. Even though D had his laptop with him on his vacation, his desktop computer was still very much online at the office.

Accounting and legal took the investigation insanely seriously. Things moved so fast that I got a call from D the next day with a request. "I need you to write up two notes. One note says 'This is my two week notice.' and the second note says 'I tender my resignation effective immediately.' If the CEO asks about me, hand him which ever note you think is best."

He wanted to resign and collect a severance before the investigation concluded, knowing that the company would have to call the police when they found his CP stash. If he resigned before the investigation finished, chances are the company would just sweep it under the rug since the "problem is now gone." I never handed the note to the CEO. And the police were called. D was arrested. His wife was also arrested. His daughter, which turns out, was one of the kids in the stash, was taken in by another family member who completely cut themselves off from D.

An added bonus to this was that the subsequent accounting investigation led to a discovery. Turns out the CEO filed bankruptcy for one of the magazines to secure additional $15 million in funding. But instead of applying that money to the failing magazine, he pocketed $12 million of it and spent it on lavish homes in other countries. This led to the CEO also being arrested as well.

I left the company shortly after, realizing that the entire place was a toxic shithole of backstabbing and the kind of behavior that went on was actually the norm at this place.

Last I heard, D was still in jail, the CEO was penniless, and the entire company was sold off to another parent company because it had gotten so toxic to be associated with it.

TLDR: Boss did some shady accounting stuff and I discovered he had CP on his computer. Accounting stuff was reported and police got involved to arrest my boss. Further accounting anomalies led to discovering CEO was also doing shady stuff with money and he was arrested as well.

Addendum: Hey all, I've been reading some of the comments and thought I would add some additional insight and thoughts behind my post.

Yes this story is factual. While the identities of the company and those involved will remain private, for those who have worked in high pressure sales environments will know that people like D are not a rarity. It's the nature of the type of people that get hired for those kinds of roles. If you've ever seen the Wolf of Wall St, you'll know the kind of people that were hired at this publishing firm.

Yes I was making that much in my 20's. I had been in magazine publishing since my mid teens. In the 90s I started my own print publication in the whole import automotive racing scene. It started small, but did gain some notoriety in street racing circles and help caught the attention of some very worthy advertisers. Being bilingual in Japanese and English, this allowed me to expand my magazine's advertising reach overseas to Japan where the street racing scene was in full swing. I learned very early on how to do advertising, marketing, sales, and publishing. However, once that scene started dying down the magazine lost its appeal so I took a lot of my advertising accounts with me to the publishing firm where the above story took place. Many advertisers are loyal to the sales rep and not the client.

The event of the story took place around 2008. While I had a team of 200 sales reps under me, most of their PST files were relatively small since most of their work was via phone sales. This company was incredibly old fashioned with tech. Like I said, I was the graphic designer. I knew how to use Photoshop, InDesign, etc. from my old magazine but I would never actually consider myself to be a professional graphic designer by trade as it was all self taught and very limited. I just knew how to make things "camera ready" (this means high enough resolution for print...300 dpi). Because I did a lot of graphic design work, I was given a pretty high end laptop for the period. The hard drive alone was 640GB (it was two 320GB drives in RAID0 array).

Evacuation of the office. Perhaps this was strongly assumed to be an immediate emergency evacuation. We sent everyone home while management assessed what the cause was with the fire department. That is what I meant by closing up shop. So it did give me ample time to copy over the PSTs knowing that I'd be working from home later that afternoon.

To whose who say they would happily work those hours for that kind of pay. I used to think the same thing, which is why I took the job. My base pay was $60K plus commission. And I made a lot of commission and I never missed a sales goal. I also made commission of my teams. Those 200 people were divided up into various sub-teams for each magazine we published. I earned commissions of their total sales as well on top of a monthly sales commission bonus for goals reached. Keep in mind this was just before the housing crash in 2008. People were spending money like it would never end. And our company raked it in. But here's the rub...I was so perpetually stressed. My girlfriend at the time, she was a sales rep on a different team, would cry in the car on our way in to work every day. I worked 6 days a week. I would be so stressed that my Saturday nights were spent in isolation on my computer playing video games. I wouldn't sleep until the sun came up on Sunday, then I would sleep all through Sunday until Monday morning. I was subsisting on 4 to 5 hours of sleep per day during the week. It took an incredible toll on my body. Many of my reps were coke addicts and we turned a blind eye to it because it helped them dial faster and sell more. Some of the managers would staff sales reps from temp agencies asking for people specifically who came out of rehab, knowing they'd relapse at this place where we'd either fire them for performance issues and not pay the staffing agency their hiring fees or they'd be so coked out they'd make a killing in sales.

To my shame, I never reported the CP. I had this image of corporate lawyers coming after me and fighting this never ending legal battle of trying to maintain my innocence. I was young, naive, and didn't know what options I had. That is why I went with the accounting route through the anonymous company hotline. I knew they would do a scan of D's computer and audit his emails which is why I moved his CP folder into a more prominent place for it to be found. Like many corporations, they are more concerned with maintaining a public image and this is something they wouldn't want getting out if it was reported to law enforcement agencies by an employee. I knew once they found that folder, they would be compelled to contact authorities anyway, so it removed the onus from me and removed me from the equation. Plus, after learning about D's darker side, I didn't want him or someone sent by him coming after me for ruining his cushy job. I went with the route I felt would involve me the least and protect my own self the most. I wish I could have reported it to the authorities. Now that I'm much older, looking back, I don't know what things I would have done differently. But now that I'm married and I have a stepson, I think about if I found his photo in there, I can definitely imagine me waiting for him to return so I could exact revenge personally. But that is a bunch of "what if's" and life tends to go very differently.

Our company IT. My office was a satellite office in downtown Los Angeles 45 miles away from our main HQ where the IT team was. It was set up specifically for my team of 200. To give you an idea how inept our IT team was, our IT project manager was tasked with hiring a consultant who would scope out and build us a custom sales/phone software that would link with our database of advertising accounts and other businesses in our database. We had one of the largest databases of businesses in this industry where competitors would offer us very large sums of money just for a portion of this database. Our IT team spent close to $1.6 million on this consultant, and in the end what we were told was a custom program was actually just a turn-key software...for inbound call centers. We were an outbound sales team. What this means is that we were given a program that wasn't custom built for us, had problems using our database, and was designed for call centers that received phone calls (eg - cell phone or cable company call centers). We were an outbound center. We weren't just a call center as many of our reps also traveled nationally to visit advertisers, so an inbound software was absolutely junk to us. Because of our IT's ineptitude, I had to learn a lot of IT basics myself. As far as browsers, most of our staff was using Firefox since it used to be fairly lightweight and quick.

Like many of the stories in this thread, I understand the skepticism. Some of the stories sound so over the top and sound like a fabrication. One thing I've learned from being able to experience quite a lot in life from early on is that there really are shitty people out there like D. The reason for the throw away account is because my main reddit account is used for work in my current industry and I, unfortunately, deal with the public in my job and I don't want this associated with my actual identity.

So why post this at all? I don't care about internet points or accolades, but I do appreciate the comments of support. In a way it's been a bit cathartic for me to share this publicly. I've told the story to coworkers before, and I've felt I never really had any closure with it. This doesn't give me any closure either, but being able to share it on a forum designed for stories like this does help with that burden just a bit. I hope D's daughter grows up to be as normal as can be expected from a situation like that. I still keep in contact with a few of my old sales reps. While I now live quite far away from Los Angeles, I do like to hear back from them to see they're doing ok in life.

Addendum 2:

After I posted this story, I reached out to a few of my former colleagues who I worked with during this time just to see if there were any additional bits of information I might be able to learn. Even with the few friends and colleagues I do keep in contact with, many of them left before this story happened and many were moved to other teams before the following hammer dropped.

One thing I found out tonight from a former colleague was what the aftermath was. After the CEO was removed, the parent corporation was deciding what to do with my branch. Because the embezzled money came from one of the magazines my team was on, during the legal hearings the entire office was shuttered. And it was done in a really shitty way.

Every employee at that branch received a FedEx letter on a Saturday stating their employment with the company was terminated. Again...on a Saturday. This was done to avoid having to do it face to face while everyone was at the office. Because this was a surprise, many of them immediately drove down to the office to retrieve their personal belongings only to find hired security guards who were instructed to not let anyone in. The now-ex-employees were understandably upset. Part of the reason was because of the amount of embezzled money, the legal teams needed to make sure employees weren't removing any potential evidence. But what this meant was that they weren't able to retrieve their personal belongings, and some even had their cell phones, valuables, and other items they wanted to retrieve inside the office. Apparently the office was locked for nearly a year before the staff was able to get court-assisted permission just to retrieve their personal items.

Since then, the building we worked in has been leveled and is now an area being gentrified and has totally turned into a modern, hipster apartment complex. When the toxic magazines/assets were sold off to a new publishing firm, luckily many of the employees were able to be rehired by the new publishing firm and are still working there. Fortunately, the new publishing firm is quite the opposite of the one we worked for.

(source) (story by FalconerXV)

#prorevenge #by FalconerXV #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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wolfpawn · 5 years

Text

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 43

Chapter Summary - As Tom broached the idea of a holiday with Alexianna, they discuss other matters.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @theoneanna

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WARNING - this chapter will mildly reference past martial sexual abuse.

Tom was uncertain as to how to approach the topic of Lily's schooling with Alexianna, so he said nothing until he could think of the best possible time and way to bring up the subject. That said, it did not prevent him from getting the curriculum and the admission's form from the school, in case she would be willing to listen.

Alexianna had flown through her exams and was currently in the chair opposite him, as the relaxed after a busy day, choosing her modules for the following and final year of her course on her laptop. 'Lexi?'

'Hmm?' she did not look away from the screen as she answered him.

'I was thinking.'

'Seldom does that statement get uttered and what follows is not something to worry about.'

'What date is Lily finished for the summer?'

'The twentieth of next month.' she replied. When there was no sound out of Tom for a few moments, she forced her gaze away from her laptop to look at him, only to see him focusing ardently on his phone. 'Dare I inquire as to why you asked that particular question?'

'I am checking dates.'

'What for?'

'A holiday.'

'Tom....'

'No, please listen. Nothing mad, I swear. Just the Isle of Wight, for a week.'

'Tom, the Isle of Wight costs a small fortune, some sun holidays are cheaper than that place. I cannot afford it.'

'I would not expect you to.'

'Tom...' There was a stern warning in her tone. 'We spoke about this.'

'Look, Lexi, I want to treat you and Lily to a nice little breakaway. You won't take well to a foreign holiday, so I am not even going to entertain the idea of such.'

'We couldn't anyway, neither of us has a passport.' She interjected.

'You are getting that fixed in the near future.' Tom insisted. 'But, after everything and all your hard work, you deserve a few days of restaurant eating, sea air and relaxing. Think about it, think about how Lily would love it.'

In truth, Alexianna wanted to argue it. It would be expensive. The Isle of Wight was always a costly destination, add to that the fact it was summer, where accommodation tripled in price, she could not condone such money. But she also thought of Lily, who would love to go on an actual holiday, it was incredibly tempting. I'm not so sure, the ferry and accommodation alone will be bonkers.'

'Ben has a house there, he is giving it to us for nothing.'

'What?'

'My friend Ben, Ben Cumberbatch, he is letting us use his place there. He needs it checked on and Sophie is busy with a production and he has other stuff to juggle, so he asked if we were interested in a few days away in return for checking on it.'

'So this is not costing us for accommodation?'

'Correct.'

'Just the ferry, food and petrol?'

'Correct.'

'Okay, yeah.'

'I...You changed your tune.'

'Tom, my only concern was the cost. If it is not going to be overly expensive, then yes.'

Relieved that he was able to convince her to say yes, Tom did not press the issue further, for fear she would back out. 'Right, tell work that you are taking from the twentieth until the thirtieth of July off. We will celebrate Lily's birthday with my mum and sisters here and then we will pack off the next morning at silly o'clock and make an early crossing over.'

'You want me to take ten days off work?'

'You were saying last week you have all your holiday days still to use, you can take ten surely? Besides, you don't work weekends so that's only eight days and one of them is a recovery day after you return from the holiday, there's nothing worse than returning and being exhausted heading into work.'

'I can, but that's literally almost half of my yearly holiday allowance in one go.'

'Argue with me honestly, what else do you plan on doing with those days? If you have something genuine you are going to do, fine, but be honest, what is it you have them saved for?'

Alexianna looked at him for a moment but he held her gaze and she sighed, clicking into a new tab and emailing the HR department about it. 'I mean, they can hardly say no, I have not taken a day off sick or asked for time off since I started.'

Tom smiled proudly. It was true. The ridiculous stereotype of the "single mother being flakey" was in no way applicable to Alexianna, though she argued that with the manner in which he was involved as a father to Lily, she was not really a single mother. Him taking Lily for her prevented her from having to leave work early meaning she was able to give herself over more to whatever work she was doing. 'You deserve a few days off. If anything, this will help you with work, you will come back more refreshed and more able to focus on it. With everything with college too, no one deserves it more.'

'I cannot believe that I have another year down.'

'And to achieve a 2:1 with a daughter and a job as well. You are incredible, Lexi.'

'Up from a 2:2 last year. If this continues, I am at the risk of getting a 1:1.'

'The ball is in your court.' Tom smiled lovingly. 'It's all possible for you. I am here if you need me but it's you that has to do the donkey work really.' He groaned for a moment. 'When I think back on my degree, how the hell did I manage to pass it at all, much less with a 1:1, I was drunk half of the time and acting around the other half.'

'I dare say that that is something of an over-exaggeration.' Alexianna dismissed.

'Do you wish you had gotten your course finished?'

'I wish a lot of things about that time Tom, but the fact remains, everything then led to Lily, and everything then also led me to you.' Tom frowned. 'If I had not gone through all of that, I would not have been in that cafe last sure for you to come over and say hello to.'

Tom had to concede it was true. 'Thank goodness for Hamlet.' His smile fell. 'You would have still been in that little flat.'

'Perhaps, that is going under the assumption that I would have been with Jonathan even without the car crash and honestly, I don't think I would have been.' She pointed out. 'Everything happens for a reason. Because of how things were with us, Dan did not rush back on weekend leave from the rig and that is how he came to meet Anna.'

'Perhaps so.' Tom smiled. 'I just wish that you and Lily had not been forced to suffer everything you did.'

'We can't dwell on such things.'

'How are your sessions going, are they still helping you?'

Alexianna sighed, her counsellor, Mr Barrows had gone into areas of her life she was more than happy not to face, but he pointed out that there was little point in dealing with the smaller more inconsequential issues only to let the deeper, more painful ones go without being discussed. It would be somewhat optimistic to only unload the small stuff and expect big changes with all of that still there. The only issued was, she had been forced to acknowledge some painful truths and realities. One of which was that on more than one occasion in her marriage, she had declined Jonathan's sexual advances, only for him to force himself on her after she said no, ignoring her pleas for him not to. She had herself convinced that it was her "wifely duties" but in reality, she was being raped by her husband. She wept and was emotionally exhausted by that revelation. Tom was unsure of how he could assist her with that particular part of her therapy, he merely listened and ensured he was there for her. 'Yes, there are. I just...I am not always overly happy with what he digs up.'

'I can only imagine. You would not be there if it was going to be overly pleasant.'

'He wants to move onto Oliver in more detail soon.'

Tom frowned. Alexianna had no relationship with her father since she was a small child, not that you could say she had much of one with him before that either. 'What do you think of that?'

'I don't really think anything about it. I haven't since I was a child. '

'But didn't you say the issue with Lily and I was that you had a revelation that stemmed from that?'

'It does, but as I said, to the best of my knowledge, I think nothing of Oliver. I have no idea if he is even still alive. He could have remarried and have had seven other kids for all I know. All I do know was he sent the cheques for our schools, that and whatever we needed, that's it.'

'Perhaps then, it's a good thing to talk about him.' Tom suggested with a smile. 'But remember to tell Mr Barrows that you're away on those dates too.'

'Sure thing, Boss.' Alexianna smiled. I'm really looking forward to this now. I have not been on a holiday in years.'

'Did you go on a honeymoon?'

'Yes, Vegas.' Tom looked at her knowingly, Vegas was nothing like what Alexianna would call a holiday. She loved history and culture, not drinking and gambling. 'Not my idea. I was so "boring" on that trip, I was not brought anywhere fun after that, though thankfully, with where he chose as "fun" I didn't want to go anyway. When he left for the week, it was a holiday in itself for me.'

'He would leave you.....' she nodded. Thomas pulled her to him and kissed her head. 'I could never do such a thing. You know when I go that it is for work.'

'I know that and I would never begrudge you going if you went anywhere, Tom. You deserve a break too.'

'I cannot believe he did that to you. Did...When you were pregnant?'

'He went on a few then, his "Blow-out" before fatherhood apparently. What he didn't realise is I had seen him book a holiday for when "George" was going to be twelve weeks old. When I confronted him, he said that because he was working and there would be a lot of noise with the baby, he would need a few nights away to recoup.'

'That selfish....' Tom felt his anger rising. 'You deserved so much better.'

'That's why the piece of paper he wanted me to sign bothered me so much. My integrity was all I had.'

'I see now why you wanted it. I am so sorry I dismissed it.' Alexianna smiled at him. 'Can I ask, if Oliver never bothered with you both, why did he fork out for Headington?'

'I honestly don't know, but I am grateful he did.' She shrugged. 'I only wish I had done more with his investment and put it to better use.'

'Do you wish Lily was able to get that sort of education?'

'Yes, wouldn't any parent? But back then, the price was well over half it is today, seventeen thousand for a day student? No one can afford those prices any more.'

'If you had money, would you put Lily into a school like that?'

'If I had it, I would, yes. Sure there's an independent school just a stop before ours on the bus, part of me wishes she was going there, getting a good education, but where she is, we were so lucky to get her in.'

Tom took note of her words but said nothing about his inquiries to that exact school for that moment, knowing that that would be too much for Alexianna to deal with at once, but he felt hopeful that he could convince her if he broached it carefully. Part of him thought to contact Daniel, but he was unsure. Instead, he got back onto Ben regarding the house, though he did add a little comment at the end regarding it.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #Life is a Game of Risks #chapter 43

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secondhand-sheep-shack · 5 years

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Leaders vs supervisors

We have had our new 2nd shift supervisor being in charge for the last 2 weeks. This last week was his first week flying solo.

Our department head wandered onto the production floor for a change and decided to bother me...I mean inquire about a few things with me. I'm one of the few operators who doesn't run away when he's near. I'm also not a millennial.

So it went as follows. (I only sort of apologize for the length.)

G (East T Department Production Manager)

M (me, level II operator)

I'm at the end of my line checking finished parts.

G: So I've observed something...

M: (thinking to myself - please go away so I can do my job, of course you observed something, you have a crow's nest view of the whole department... Duh) Hi, sir. And what have you observed?

G: Well, you can stop checking parts while we talk. (So I stopped) I've noticed that 2nd shift's production is up, even above weekly targets which have nearly quadrupled in the last 8 months. Would you happen to have any idea why or how this is occurring?

M: Well, sir, we have been working 6 and 7 days to make what we've been told is target. Now you're saying that in 5 days we've hit a 7 day target? Am I correct in understanding what you said? (Mentally yes I know why this is, let's test the manager)

G: Yes, that's accurate. 2nd shift scrap is down, totals are up, fewer parts are being held for quality rechecks. So do you have any clue why?

M: (why did you pick me to bother, why not go ask P?) Well, sir, do you know about when this change occurred? (Yeah, probably 2 weeks ago)

G: Well it started with increased production goals just after plant shutdown. But really the numbers have changed greatest in the last 21 days.

M: Sir, I'm pretty sure you could ask anyone in this department this question and get a similar answer. But it's having a good leader.

G: What do you mean?

M: (mother of God either this is a test or you're a fucking idiot, it's probably both) Well, I'm not trying to speak I'll of anyone, but you saw the biggest change starting the day P took over as our supervisor. The change boils down to the difference between a good leader and a good supervisor.

G: But all supervisors are good leaders.

M: (how deeply do I want to dig this hole for myself) Sir, I kindly disagree. Yes, there are supervisors who are good leaders, but not all good supervisors can be good leaders. Please let me finish (as he goes to interrupt me). P taking over changed the outcome of each day because P is a good leader and right now, most of us would jump at the chance to make him proud to be our supervisor. P was 3 years a line operator, 7 years a set up tech, and now he's our leader. Most of us probably don't see him just as a supervisor because he's not just that. He's not just supervising us, he's leading us. He's leading by example. He's a good leader who is also a supervisor.

G: But nothing has changed. Just the person at the desk.

M: That's my point. It's the change in 'command' structure. P has been one of us as operators. He knows how frustrating these machines can be. He's fixed them for 7 years. Again, I'm not trying to come off as mean, but there's a difference. And it shows. J was an outside hire and never ran lines, never did setup. He knew next to nothing about half of the equipment. He'd rather goof around than listen to someone having a problem. He'd never be available to help his team do better.

I'll give you two examples from my perspective.

You don't want me running these two lines. Because I'm not speedy like B or C. But you know we're shorthanded so you're tolerating me being in these 2 lines. I've had 45 minutes of training on 6 by 3 different people in 3 different occasions and 3 different parts. I'm still nowhere near comfortable with that line. And it needs a constant observer, we don't have one. Which is why you get what I can eek out in 8 hours. As I self teach. If I have an issue, I can go to P who leaves the desk to come help me and then teaches me what he did to fix the problem. I've learned more in 3-5 minute fixes from him than I did from all 45 from 3 other people.

G: OK, go on.

M: Second. Earlier this week I had a bad night on 6 I lost track of time and I had both of these tables full to check, mark, and basket. I had a full out table on 6 that needed to be carefully checked before carting. I had all that and 10 minutes to get numbers and turn in paperwork. J was still doing the end of day supervisor sign offs. P heard my issue. He asked a coworker to empty 6 and check the parts. I was finishing paperwork and went to go dump this line and I found both tables cleared. I asked E if she did it. She said she didn't know how. She told me P, my supervisor did it. P saw an operator having a problem and he solved it. He didn't need to do all of it, he didn't need to do any of it. But he chose to, leading by example.

Now at the end of the night, whoever is done first walks lines and offers to help others who need a hand. Yes, the person changed, but so did the job. If we need help P gets us help or comes to try to fix it himself and it shows.

Good leaders lead. Lead by example. Lead the way. Lead their team. Good supervisors observe, oversee and supervise. P is a good leader. K is a good leader even before he got TL promotion. J is a good superving TL, he's not a leader. Not like P & K are.

G: That's a very astute and detailed observation.

M: You asked. I answered the way I felt best answered your question.

G: Apparently I need to spend more time on the floor.

M: It would let you see things as your staff sees them. You hounding J about my line being redlit doesn't seem like you read the hourly sheets. Do you know that this line has been breaking drills, inserts in Op1 and 3 every 75 cuts? It's in my hourlies. Just because you see a redlit line doesn't mean that the operator isn't trying to keep the line running. You see from your office lines idle, you aren't seeing why.

G: Thank you for speaking with me, get back to work. Oh and make sure you go talk to P at the end of shift.

M: Uh. OK sir. (Oh great you stepped in it...) I waited all shift and went to talk to P at the end of shift.

P: I need to talk to you after everyone else clocks out...

M: Uh. um. OK. I guess.

P: It's nothing bad.

M: OK

Everyone else bee lines for the clock.

M: You needed to see me boss?

P: Whatever you said to G earlier had him on the phone to me as soon as he got back upstairs. No. That's not a bad thing. (He hands me and envelope with my name on it.)

Me: I'm confused.

P: Go clock out and open it before you leave.

M: (cloak and dagger bs is not good for my anxiety) OK, see you tomorrow P.

P: grinning, you too.

I go to clock out, get in the hallway to the exit and open the envelope. Out falls a gift card and a 2 sheet folded paper.

The letter bore my name and said that I was being recognized for my honesty, my diligence and for the education I gave my department head.

The second sheet was a certificate bearing my name and the title Level III operator. Along with the words $0.50/hr pay raise. Signed by both G and P.

Apparently G was confused because I'd never gotten moved to lvl III even though I had been with the company more than a year and had mastered the hardest line in our department. J never submitted the request. It was filled out sitting in the drafts of the department supervisor email since thanksgiving.

G called P to ask why I hadn't gotten a level promotion since august. P inquired and fixed the oversight. G also gave P a gift card too. For leading his team well.

My gift card was because I taught an old dog a new trick.

G was in on Saturday mid shift and was walking the lines watching his operators and his equipment. 1st shift wasn't happy he was there, but apparently some minor issues got fixed quickly because it was stupid to ignore the problems.

Lead. By. Example.

Don't push from behind. Pull your team up. Make them better by choice.

#mine #long shit #work #leadership #leading #good leaders #lead vs supervise

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princebete · 5 years

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So Wednesday morning I got a call from the same person who hired me at my current job, who was supposed to train since joining as an Esthetician.

She said that “ I am not spunky enough” and not “ what they are looking for” as far as the position and basically discontinued my candidacy in the training program...

thing is...

i never even got to train.

When I was hired in October, my license was still in limbo and I was put on the front desk to learn that basic position, until my license would be posted. Not to mention, when I was hired, their main desk person was there for two days before dropping to one shift a week. So I filled a hole, but I did not get trained appropraitely. Queue the fucking holiday rush. All November and mid-December I worked on front desk... awaiting my license to be approved so I could end the nightmare. I wanted to be a service provider so bad, and then I went to California for christmas, and came back to the desk again... and my family was asking me when I’d start training, and I asked myself this question. And I noticed I had a personal development meeting scheduled... so I though perhaps that I’d learn more front desk until they could train me. And my license had finally been posted...

I feel so mislead and lied to. Like ... I told an esthetician that I consider an acquaintance and SHE IS MORE QUIET THAN ME ... what the fuck

i feel like there is another “non legal” reason... and honestly ... no matter what anyone says. Estheticians and Cosmos are opposite. Esthes are not meant to be with a personality of a cosmo, and when I WAS IN SCHOOL HALF OF THE COSMOS WERE LIKE “ why are you not a stylist?? you have the personality for one!” what the fuck. Esthes are the “spa” relaxing, mellow lighting, soothing music--- massage type of environment. Not the loud obnoxious pop rock music blaring in the background while people scream out their life story over hair dryers and alumnimum foil. No---

no i think it’s bcause of the fact that I am a fuller figure

that because I am larger, the illusion is that-that i move slower and do less.. that because i am big i seem “ Less” and because of this it takes away opportunities. it’s terrible.

it’s a world of outliers. there is no more middle ground it’s either :

body positivity!! and accepting unhealthy behavior

or it’s

“appear” healthy because of ur size ( which is total bull shit) and ur not a health insurance risk, and u fit the social standard that’s been around in post modern era.

.... like i HATE THIS ... i am trying hard right now.

I am HUNGRY, guys. I’m STARVING right now.

I HAVE eaten, I am on a special diet plan to lose up to 5 a week ( yes dropping 5 a week is not as healthy as 2-3... i already know)

I am following a diet plan that was written in 1984!! and for what? so i dont have to worry about being a fat bride!! so I can make more money!! SO I DONT HAVE TO WORK IN A POSITION WHERE I HAVE TO BEND TO THE WILL OF SOME PRIVLEGED SNOB.

this society sucks. it takes away job opportunities, it takes my happiness( well for 6 months...) and i know this isn’t forever, and this is a special metabolism diet plan, so it’s not crash dieting. i mean it is a LOT less food, but it’s healthy... I mean

i get a limit on calorie intake, and i walk after eating consistent meals. they aren’t filling, but i mean-- my stomach is shrinking and that diet world is all backwards all the time anyway. but it SUCKS. i can’t just march up to the fridge and grab a cheese stick right now ( unless weight watchers which if u do, u just track it) -- anyways I digress... but there is just so much pressure and stress, which to me is a lot of suffering just to “ get it right” in the world.

It’s just very sad to go through this, and make an effort ... yet still get rejected... I mean I was kinda disliking the place anyway?? but i was hoping that my training would turn around my feelings and help me reconcile my view. but it was all a lie.

and they paid me less than a desk person... yep. they paid me what an esthetician would make when not taking commission. I feel like i got sucked into this, so they could put me on desk, pay me less, then tell me i wont be working as an esthetician to keep me on desk

... and ever since I’ve been in a state of shock. “ Well” I thought “ at least I have my other $14.50/hr job that makes me a $100 per 8 hour shift. That’s good!” .... but oh no

an email came from my supervisor last night .

Mandatory company wide call at 9 am in the morning. On a Friday... our pay day... in JANUARY.

----o fuck this can’t be good.

and my suspicions were correct....

they disbanded the beauty concierge program. I got my sister a job with this company and she lives on her own with her bf so i mean... she dependso n this too... so it sucks... i am kinda... wow

After 6 years they decide to disband THIS year. The year I join.

So I am now working very part time as a front desk person earning 10.50 and hour with the looming storm of student loans in student view....

anyways i dont know why i spew all this yhere. im looking for an outlet so perhaps some people, you, my friends-- can see what is up.

Honestly.. as far as career goes...

I don’t really know what I want anymore. I know that I dont wanna waste my life on something meaningless, and I feel like I am endlessly searching for something-- learning about the bad parts, and discarding it... but Iwould like to find something where if I find those bad parts, I’d be okay with embracing it and just rolling with the punches.

So far I have not found it yet.

in all honestly, if i could just be a home maker and not work at all, do art and cosplay and sing in the evenings-- that’d be ideal.

Right now I am learning more about UX/UI to see if I could use my art degree and make more money. But... for the most part I am looking up wax specialists, and office administration type jobs... where the front desk person does all the party planning and grocery shopping for the office. lol .. I know sounds lazy, but whatever Ican admit that--- my laziness can be translated to depression.

I just really wanna lose weight... this strict plan isn’t forever. The book I am using the method from strictly outlines that it is a temporary thing just to get metabolism on track using a series of net carbs, good fats and calorie reduction-- so it’s not like it is unhealthy. It’s not like if I went and got some cheetohs or ate a cookie I’d be fucked like if I was on keto ....

tbh I should be a weightloss plan expert I’ve done it all...

but yeah.

anyways-- thanks for listening to my rant

all in all my life isn’t that bad

i have a home

a car

a wonderful cat

a loving fiance

education

and some money to my name. i’m not totally broke.

I am very grateful and i am not to sore about all of this, it’s just crazy that it’s happening within days of eachother. and it kind sucks cuz this means i may not have a paycheck next couple weeks... or atleast a good one. 10.50 an hour my ASS. but oh well it’s SOMETHING.

ALSO .... I might make a blog for tracking my wedding plans-- if anyone likes that suff and wants to follow... I may post reference to that. otherwise <3 love you all

#rant #ooc #the shit went down #fuck 2019 already

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samuelfields · 3 years

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How to Find Your Dream Job: Career Research Guide

Finding a job, especially your dream job, is hard. Even if you have a few ideas of what you’re interested in, how do you choose what to pursue? Do you have enough experience to even try at this point? Or, do you think it’s too late for a career change? Let me tell you, it’s never too early or too late to pursue your ambitions.

If you’re new to the job market or looking for change, put yourself in research mode. Go beyond a quick Google search and dive deep into the fundamentals of a job role, the types of companies in the industry, and whether the jobs match what you want from a career.

Let us walk you through the steps of how to find your dream job.

Bonus: Want to know how to make as much money as you want and live life on your terms? Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Making Money

Key barriers to finding your dream job

Confidence and lack of knowledge are typical barriers that stop people in their tracks when searching for a job.

“I have no idea what my dream job is!” or “I don’t know how to find it; it’s simply not attainable.” Sound familiar?

It’s difficult because it’s confusing. It sounds like it would be simple but, in reality, it’s a huge decision with multiple conflicts. We are conflicted by our desires — passion vs. skill vs. show me the money. Then, there’s the conflict of worry — the worry of uncertainty, change, and failure.

For a lot of people, finding their ideal job indefinitely remains on the back-burner. There’s no real sense of urgency, partly because people are hesitant, confused, or fearful of where to start. People are so scared of getting it wrong that they don’t put the work in to get it right. On top of all these uncertainties and confusion, there’s also the fact that a lot of career advice out there is terrible and leaves you more confused than ever.

Barrier 1: You’re not getting specific

Researching any old job is a good start but to really dig deep into the different roles out there, you need to get specific.

The chances are you already have a few vague ideas of what type of roles sound interesting to you but you may not necessarily know the ins and outs. To get specific with your research, take one of your job ideas, and start with an overarching view of what the role entails.

This can be as basic as typing in a search term like ‘introduction to [job role].’ Once you have a basic understanding of what the job is, your work isn’t done. This is just the beginning, my friend. It’s time to get detailed. And, the only way to do that is to be specific and ask the right questions.

What is the workload in an average week vs. a busy week? Is there any continuing education or progression? What are the salaries like? What types of companies have this role? And so on.

Be specific in your research to get specific results.

Commit to defining exactly what you want

Conventional career-hunting advice is to send your resume to every job opportunity you see — and that might actually make sense if you’d be happy taking any job. But that’s not your goal. Your goal is to get up in the morning eager to clock-in and do your thing.

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific:

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one …

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Everything in your resume and pitch should be hyper-focused on the answers you give to these questions. If you can do that, two things happen. First, you save time by no longer applying for dodgy jobs you don’t want anyway. Second, you make yourself look like a better employment prospect to the companies that actually count.

Get specific in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Grab a sheet of paper and split it into 2 columns. In the first column list everything you know about what your dream job looks like. In column 2, bullet out the key characteristics of the kinds of jobs you don’t want. Stick this paper somewhere prominent as a daily reminder.

Grab a red pen (OK purple will do if red ink is scary). Go through every line of your current resume and scratch out generic, hedging, or vague statements. If it isn’t about the job you actually want, ditch it.

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%.

Barrier 2: Self-sabotage

This might sound a bit “Dr. Phil” at first glance, but hear us out. We’re not suggesting something quite so asinine and patronizing as the idea that great self-esteem and chutzpah is all you need to land you a dream job. That’s dumb. Also, see point 1.

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until things settle down before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Skilling up is good! And of course, macroeconomics and other unpredictable variables are all real things that affect how your dream job search will play out. But none of these considerations (along with the myriad other excuses out there) need stop you from taking meaningful steps in the right direction … right now.

These ideas all have one thing in common. They push you to reflect on all the reasons why now isn’t a good time; why you’re not ready yet; why the world is just too scary a place to do something bold and daring like pursuing your dream.

Barrier 3: Passivity

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb.

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points.

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right?

Yet the vast majority of people that are searching for their dream job hand the responsibility for delivering those all-or-nothing flash-points to someone else. Career-hunting passivity is everywhere, and takes many forms, like:

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources.

One: Obviously, you’re wasting your time. We probably don’t need to offer too much exposition here on why metaphorically cramming filet mignon into a Mcdonald’s meat-grinder is unlikely to produce optimal results.

But you can’t overlook the negative knock-on effects on your motivation. You’re spinning headlong into a negative spiral here — where a perfect storm of rejection emails, lack of actionable data, and no real clue about what to do differently next time robs you of any desire to continue.

Why do this to yourself?

Passivity breeds failure, which in turn leads to the slow and abysmal process of … well … just giving up. The “80-percenter-zone” is a gray realm of mental laziness — of endlessly doing the same thing while expecting suddenly different results to miraculously manifest from miasmic mundanity. No.

How to find your dream job

Now that you’ve identified and sidestepped the common barriers to finding your dream job, here’s how to actually land the role you want.

1. Identify what’s important to you in a dream career

It’s not all about the job role itself. It’s about you. Be selfish. Yeah, focus on your skills and experience, but also, go beyond that. List what’s important to you in a career — personally and professionally. Dig deep.

People look for different things in a job. Some look for career progression or high salaries. Others look for ways to use their creativity, and some prioritize work/life balance. Knowing what is most important to you and figuring out your career values is key to finding your ultimate landing place.

Sure you can take an online personality test, but those can be vague and misguided. This self-discovery has to come from you personally. What type of working environment do you thrive in? Do you hate office politics, big competitive teams, or long hours? Perhaps you prefer to work independently, or you’re more of a team player.

All of these career values and expectations from a role/company need to be factored into your research. It could be that the idea of a job sounds interesting, but other aspects of working in those types of companies don’t appeal to you. There’s nothing wrong with that. This exercise is to rule out roles just as much as it is to find the right one.

Bonus: Want to finally start getting paid what you’re worth? I show you exactly how in my Ultimate Guide to Getting a Raise and Boosting Your Salary

The key to finding your end-goal career is good research. This goes beyond personality tests and snapshot career summaries on job sites.

2. Choose three job roles

Now, write down a list of potential jobs you think you might be interested in. We call this the Cloud Technique. Write down any career or job title you’ve been interested in, even if it just pops into your head. Then, head over to LinkedIn and other job sites to take a look through job descriptions. If anything jumps out, write that idea down too. Also, think about the skills you already have and search for careers that fit them. Are you creative? Google something like ‘best careers for creatives.’

Once you have your ideas listed, choose the most appealing few, and move to Step two.

3. Research each role

The next step is to spend quality time with your new potential job roles. Aim for at least an hour of solid research on each job title you have selected. In that hour, learn and absorb everything you can about the role. This is where you will want to find answers to those specific questions you had earlier.

What is the day-to-day of the job?

What is the career path?

Do you need qualifications?

What’s the average salary?

What is the company culture for typical roles like this?

The more specific you can be with these questions, the better. Find out more information beyond the snapshot introductions to a role. It’s good to learn both the positives and negatives ahead of time. At some point in your research, you may realize that a specific job is 100% not for you. Walk away and move on to the next idea.

After this exercise, decide whether you would love these jobs and whether you can get these jobs.

4. Prioritize your job titles

If you have three job roles you are still interested in working towards, prioritize them. By this point in your research, you should have a better understanding of which of the three you are most interested in and why. Keep in mind, we’re just brainstorming for now. Don’t worry if one of these doesn’t end up being the winning dream career.

Think carefully about how you prioritize the list. Is it by salary, average working hours, the day-to-day of the role? This will teach you more about what you value the most if you don’t already know.

5. Naturally network

This is where the real work of finding your dream job begins. It’s time to break out of your comfort zone and head into networking among colleagues and leaders in the industry. Find experts or business leaders in your potential field and see what they have to say. Comb websites, follow experts on YouTube, and engage with professionals on social media or with a short email. Yes, they are busy people but with the right communication skills, you could capture their attention and win them over.

This will teach you more about the job role but will also give you insight into the type of companies you could potentially work for. Notice everything — from the language that leaders in the industry use to the company’s ad campaigns.

This may sound like a lot of work. It is. But it’s worth it to find a career you feel happy and fulfilled in. Laying the groundwork now is the hard part, but having insight into and understanding different job roles and companies is invaluable to your dream career search.

Do the legwork, get the job

Many people are on the lookout for the perfect online tool, personality quiz, career advice website, or just a spark of inspiration, but the truth is, finding your dream career takes work.

Before you dive into research, take some time to understand what it is you want from a career. What are your values? In what type of working environment can you see yourself thriving?

If you are ready to love life and all its potential, enter your email addy below to download this free Discover Your Dream Job PDF we put together to help you set you in the right direction for positive change.

Do you know your earning potential?

Take my earning potential quiz and get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour.

Start The Quiz

How to Find Your Dream Job: Career Research Guide is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Finance https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/how-to-find-your-dream-job/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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mcjoelcain · 3 years

Text

How to Find Your Dream Job: Career Research Guide

Let us walk you through the steps of how to find your dream job.

Bonus: Want to know how to make as much money as you want and live life on your terms? Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Making Money

Key barriers to finding your dream job

Confidence and lack of knowledge are typical barriers that stop people in their tracks when searching for a job.

“I have no idea what my dream job is!” or “I don’t know how to find it; it’s simply not attainable.” Sound familiar?

Barrier 1: You’re not getting specific

Researching any old job is a good start but to really dig deep into the different roles out there, you need to get specific.

What is the workload in an average week vs. a busy week? Is there any continuing education or progression? What are the salaries like? What types of companies have this role? And so on.

Be specific in your research to get specific results.

Commit to defining exactly what you want

To find your dream job you’ll need to get specific:

What job do you want? Name it. Have the courage to exclude the ones you don’t.

What size company? Where is it located? Be grittily granular.

… And here’s the really important one …

What kinds of skills and experience do you need to land it? Quantify how you get there.

Get specific in 15 minutes or less

Here are a couple of things you can do right now to get specific:

Congratulations. You just shifted your energy to that critical 20%.

Barrier 2: Self-sabotage

What we are saying though is that many job-seekers accidentally absorb a defeatist mindset. In fact, it happens to the best of us. Here’s the kind of self-sabotaging thoughts we’re talking about:

“I’m not qualified. Before I can even think about a new job I need to go back to school.”

“I’m lucky to have any job in this economy.”

“I should wait until things settle down before any big life changes.”

Don’t get us wrong. These thoughts aren’t stupid.

Barrier 3: Passivity

This all circles around to the absolute importance of kicking passivity to the curb.

Think back to the 80/20 Rule for a moment: The idea that most of the biggest changes that’ll happen in your life boil down to a relatively slim sliver of critical crux points.

If you buy into this particular quirk of the universe, being awake for those moments suddenly becomes vitally important, right?

Trusting a job search algorithm to guide your job search.

Sending out a resume and desperately hoping the HR team gets back to you one day.

Relying on a recruiter to convince your dream company to give you a shot.

Laziness of this ilk squanders not one, but two of your most valuable resources.

Why do this to yourself?

How to find your dream job

Now that you’ve identified and sidestepped the common barriers to finding your dream job, here’s how to actually land the role you want.

1. Identify what’s important to you in a dream career

Bonus: Want to finally start getting paid what you’re worth? I show you exactly how in my Ultimate Guide to Getting a Raise and Boosting Your Salary

The key to finding your end-goal career is good research. This goes beyond personality tests and snapshot career summaries on job sites.

2. Choose three job roles

Once you have your ideas listed, choose the most appealing few, and move to Step two.

3. Research each role

What is the day-to-day of the job?

What is the career path?

Do you need qualifications?

What’s the average salary?

What is the company culture for typical roles like this?

After this exercise, decide whether you would love these jobs and whether you can get these jobs.

4. Prioritize your job titles

5. Naturally network

Do the legwork, get the job

Many people are on the lookout for the perfect online tool, personality quiz, career advice website, or just a spark of inspiration, but the truth is, finding your dream career takes work.

Before you dive into research, take some time to understand what it is you want from a career. What are your values? In what type of working environment can you see yourself thriving?

Do you know your earning potential?

Take my earning potential quiz and get a custom report based on your unique strengths, and discover how to start making extra money — in as little as an hour.

Start The Quiz

How to Find Your Dream Job: Career Research Guide is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

from Money https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/how-to-find-your-dream-job/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

prorevenge · 5 years

Text

Getting rid of employees can be costly.

Well, I had sort of forgotten about this but was reminded by an old colleague last week. It involved me (ME), Old Senior Vice President (OldSVP), new Senior Vice President (NewSVP) and a ton of HR people.

I was working at a tech company about 8 years ago. At the time, I had put in about 6 years of service and was pretty happy with it. The company was (and still is) pretty leading in it's field, but not terribly large - under 2000 employees. It was one of these places often seen as a great place to work, good work/life balance etc. I had held a few technical roles but when this story happened, I was heading up a project management group. Pretty tightly knit team, 5-6 guys, all very nice and capable. Most of them I had employed myself or was instrumental in hiring. The company had a pretty big project upcoming, and I was horizontally promoted to assistant VP, basically being the right hand guy for the OldSVP. (We had like 6 SVP's in the company, so that was sort of a big job, only second to the CEO).

I was running the big project, working closely with the OldSVP whom I had known for several years and we worked together great. I was making pretty good money at the time - around 120k/year which for that position was very good. The big project completed, and I was given some bonuses and career recognition, which was nice, but not really a big deal for me. Then it happened - one of the SVP's who had been working in the states as a lead regional director was moving back home and needed a new position. The OldSVP was degraded (various reasons, but he was originally hired by another CEO, so it was the usual corporate BS political stuff).

OldSVP was pretty upset and quit after a few months. No worries. Now, as my big project had completed, I had been gone from my department for 12 months - half way through I was asked if I wanted to continue in that capacity when I was ready, or if I wanted to be "degraded" to being a regular PM, but with same pay/contract. I preferred working as a PM, and put up one of my colleagues as department head. He was a nice guy, 15 years older than me, not a great PM, but a good people person and manager - and had run a similar department prior to working with us. He was super happy to get the job and everything was good.

Now, NewSVP who had been working abroad for 5-6 years returned and took over the reigns. I had met him several times, and liked his no BS management style, so I expected us to hit it off. For various reasons, I quickly discovered that he was on a major power trip. The sort of guy who is super nice and flexible when around the other SVP's and CEO but as soon as you had him alone in a room he was bloody nuts. He had unreasonable demands in every way possible. Unrealistic targets, management by fear and so forth. A full blown psycho. I, and several colleagues were shocked. But we were making good money, and most people directly in contact with him, were 5-10 years in the company and had broad respect in the management level - so we just did our best and tried to avoid his wrath.

As I had been involved in most large projects and been doing a lot of PA stuff for the OldSVP, I quickly ended up working a lot with NewSVP. In the beginning it was okay, but he became more and more enraged with minor problems and issues, and quickly started firing people left and right. One of our group managers was fired by email on the day after christmas - with over 90 staff on CC, because NewSVP didn't know how to use outlook. It was crazy.

HR department was bewildered and had weekly meeting (shouting meetings) with newSVP. Well, after a while he cooled towards me and sent me back in my old department (under my old employee/group lead) which was fine. A few of the PM's got stressed out and one quit, so we were very busy. I ended up running way too many projects. One of our last big clashes was his unreasonable requirements for me to fly to far away places (10-15 hour flights) to attend simple meeting we'd usually handle over the phone. After 3 weeks of travelling, he demanded me doing another 2 weeks on another continent, and I refused. His rage grew even bigger when he found out I was on a old contract - old contract guys flew business class or first. So I was racking up tens of thousands of dollars on airfare and hotels, while other PM's had to fly cattle class. NewSVP had no idea, and his power play had backfired. He was pissed.

Now while this was happening, my wife was expecting our second child, now, In my country this is a pretty big deal, as parents can take 12 months (by law) leave - and the company pays the first 3 months - and the state pays you like 50% of full salary the last 9 months. Usually dad takes like a month, and mom takes 11. That was "common" back then. However, my wife was not working, so I could theoretically take 12 months - but had requested just 3 months, at the time. I sent the request to my team manager. Now, NewSVP had an alliance with another department head and they began creating static as to my performance. Honestly, I was doing everything right, but not walking the extra mile -as our relationship was so poor now. I was just "sticking to the rules". In all regards, reporting, timesheets, vacation time etc etc.

This alliance to undermine me, of course worked and my team manager called me to a meeting and complained about all of these "complaints" put towards me. They were of course all from newSVP and this one other manager (his friend). However these complaints were never filed in writing and I was never given any formal warnings.

Just a few weeks before my wife is to give birth, it dawns on newSVP that I'm going on leave for 3 months. He is raving mad a bout this, as it will mess up some of the projects i'm running. (I was running at 120% capacity already). I had given notice to this like 6 months earlier but for some reason it had escaped his attention. I had done everything right with HR and team lead. He was pissed. We had a meeting where he basically said he did not want me to come back. But didn't fire me. (Firing someone during leave, is like the biggest no-no in employer law in our country. The fines are huge and the courts always side with employees on this stuff).

So here comes the pro-revenge. Just prior to starting leave, I file a request with HR to extend the leave to 12 months instead of three. I made the cutoff by like 5 days. They emailed me back (none the wiser to the bigger picture). I go on leave. During the first month, I get a million emails and calls about all sorts of extra things I was handling (outside my actual job description) and I helped colleagues and generally ignored managers. They had no right to contact me, but I was nice about it. 2 months in, i'm called to a meeting with HR. I go to the meeting. NewSVP is in his office, sees me come in, looks self-content and I go to meet the very new and naive HR girl. HR girl opens up at me - NewSVP has this huge list of stuff I had supposedly done wrong - as soon as my leave ends they want me gone. Leave ends in 1 month, so they will give me 3 months severance- fuck me. I laugh. I don't tear into her, I just politely make a few points - leave is ending in 10 months - not one - as per my request (I had the emails printed out etc). I'm on old contract so severance is 6 months, i'm on the old stock programme, so I get bonuses etc. She freezes. Then freaks out - "YOU HAVE 12 MONTHS LEAVE AND NEWSVP SENT ME TO FIRE YOU 2 MONTHS IN????!" She knows they are toast. I'm like, yeah, so see you in court. She scurries away, gets the HR SVP, whom I by chance know quite well, and she says - lets do a new meeting. We'll get back to you.

Then I begin the scheduling game. They have no technical right to contact while i'm on leave - so I drag meeting planning out for months. Oh, i'm sick, yes, I have time 2 months from now, bla bla. **The trick is, NewSVP can't hire someone new, until i'm off the books. Company policy.**

And hiring someone for my job, while i'm on leave, is the SECOND biggest no no in my countrys employer laws. Eventually HR director calls me up and is like "ok, what do you want". Well, I ended up with 12 months full pay, fully vested stock options, full company bonus, full department performance bonus, free phone and internet for a year, two free laptops, a free phone and full insurance etc for a year. Altogether more than 150k usd. And I was free to work again while they were paying my 1 year salary. I took the jump and opened my own consulting company, and i'm happier than ever.

After this mess, colleagues were shocked at what had happened, so I took it upon myself to help one of my headhunter friends poach their key employees. After 3 months NEWSVP was moved to a smaller position and after a year, fired. His career never recovered and he is now doing halfassed management consulting from his home office, making less in a year than I do in a month. Not bad. Oh, twice He applied to jobs in companies I was working at as a freelancer. I can't say I was instrumental in him not getting those jobs.....

(source) (story by qwerty_2100)

#prorevenge #by qwerty_2100 #pro revenge #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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