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heavyhitterheaux · 7 months

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Call Her Daddy (NSFW)

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: 🤭🤭🤭

Synopsis: Jack goes on the Call Her Daddy podcast and of course has to talk about his wife

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist

DO NOT ENGAGE IF UNDERAGE

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

“Jack, it's about damn time you showed up for an episode of my podcast.” Alex said after the both of them sat down and got comfortable where the podcast recording would take place.

“What can I say? I'm a busy man. And it's good to be here.”

“Definitely busy seeing as you just recently put a total of three babies in your wife, but we'll get to that later. We're focusing on you, first.”

“Look, I can't help it if my wife is fine as hell. Might as well go hard or go home.” He replied while shrugging and of course Alex laughed.

“Don't worry, you'll get to talk about how much you love your wife in due time because we know that’s a running theme with you. But first, I want to know more about Jack Harlow. Did you always want to be a rapper? And where did that drive come from?”

“Always wanted to be one and I remember selling my CD's back in middle school. My mom was a heavy influence on that and she would freestyle with me in the car when she would drive me to like soccer practice and different things like that.”

“That's so cute and adorable that your mom influenced you. Now when people think of rap, Kentucky isn't really the first place people think of.”

“Not at all and I'm from Louisville and a lot of people don't know that it is literally an entire city. When people hear Kentucky, the first thing that they think of is some back roads country ass shit when it's not.” He answered as he thought about when he first started and some people would tell him that he would never make it out Kentucky let alone Louisville.

“And did a lot of people support you? Or did they try to discourage you? How was that growing up there?”

“It was about half and half. A lot of people were confident that I was going to make something of myself, but others weren’t. But I’ve been serious about this shit from day one and it’s slowly but surely paying off. My girl wouldn’t let me quit for nothing even if sometimes I wanted to.”

“Now, what were you like in high school? Were you the popular jock, the nerd, part of the science club? Did the girls fall out over you?” Alex asked while getting comfortable in her chair and adjusting.

“I mean I always had friends and I wasn’t the one who would be stuffed into lockers or some shit. Like with certain things people knew not to mess with me. And it always seemed like girls always liked me, but when I set my eyes on one, that was it. It was a done deal. We weren’t even together yet and people knew that she was mine and they would respect it.”

“So, I want to ask you since you said that about people knowing that she was your girl and respecting it. Now we are talking about the First Lady, correct?”

“The fucking one and only. Had my eyes on her ever since I was fourteen.”

“A little birdie told me about you hiding a boy’s clothes after gym was over because he liked her and wouldn’t leave her alone? Not baby Jack getting jealous.” Alex said while laughing and Jack soon joined in along with her.

“Look, he asked for it and I didn’t have a problem with him after that. Like dude get the fuck away from my girl.”

“And what did she do when she found out?”

“She never found out until we moved to Atlanta after we graduated so she had absolutely no idea. But, she definitely got on my ass. But she’s not so innocent either, but you’ll have to ask her about that.”

“Yeah, she’s definitely the next person I need to have on here. Now what is the album that you think is your best work or the one that you are most proud of?”

“Hmm, Jackman hands down. No features, just me talking and getting my feelings out. I was able to be home in Louisville with my wife for about a year and a half and I took that time to reset and get my mind right because a lot of shit had been going on and happening around us and I felt that it was important for me to do that, but now we’re back to making the catchy shit that people can really vibe to and feel good music so I’m excited for this new era.”

“Lovin’ On Me! Now I am loving your new song and I notice that it says I don't like no whips and chains and you can’t tie me down. So no whips and chains in the Harlow household?”

“I… look I have a story about that. It’s not the fact that there’s absolutely none because at one point in time there was.”

“Damn, do I need popcorn for this because I feel like I need popcorn for this.” Alex added while busting out laughing.

“So, I tie her up, blindfold her, we got the nipple clamps, all that shit, and I handcuff myself to her to get her to stop moving and I lost the key in the process. So, she notices that I get quiet and she’s freaking out asking me what’s wrong and when I finally tell her she’s like call Urban. He’s our best friend who lived with us at the time and he has seen some wild shit and I know he’s so fucking tired of us. So with my free hand, I use my phone to call him and he comes and sees what the situation is, finds the key and leaves us there and goes to sleep because we had woken him up and he was pissed. So he just left us there until the morning.”

“I LITERALLY CANNOT! But, was it really a punishment though? Handcuffed to your wife so I can imagine a few more rounds came after that?” Alex asked while wiggling her eyebrows.

“More than a few.”

“Now talk to me about the other wild shit that he has seen.”

All Jack did was hang his head as he busted out laughing.

“I… I don’t even know where to fucking start. Urb is always getting pulled into the middle of shit that he absolutely had nothing to do with.”

“That’s what best friends are for. Now, how do you feel about choking?”

“Anything she wants, I will do it. Nothing is off limits for her. I admit that it’s not my favorite thing in the world, but if it’s going to make her orgasm faster, I’m all for it. She definitely comes first. Pun intended.”

“Oh, so you’re all about putting her needs first in the bedroom?”

“And in life, that’s my baby and her needs and wants are always going to be met. Been doing that since we were fifteen when we were officially together.”

“Now you said nothing is off limits when it comes to her, so she’s just like ‘babe, let me peg you’.”

“No, absolutely not, no one is sticking anything up my ass. I love my wife through and through, but no. That’s a little too much for me. Come on Alex, I’m not that adventurous, my lyrics literally say ‘I’m vanilla baby’.”

“Well, I might have put an idea in your head that you’ll want to try with her later.”

“Nope.”

“Favorite sex position?”

“Do you…. Do you not know what they call me?” Jack curiously asked her in disbelief.

“No, what do they call you?”

“Missionary Jack.”

“Please shut up because literally no one calls you that, you call yourself that.”

“I swear that’s what they call me!”

“And who gave you that nickname?”

“If it was someone other than my wife then that’s a problem. She’s called me that since forever.”

“What do you like about it?”

“It’s underrated on so many levels. I swear my triplets were conceived in missionary. Because here’s my thing, I’m face to face with her, at one point her ankles are going to be behind her head or on top of my shoulders and I’m going the fuck in.”

“Well damn, what’s her favorite position? I’m going to get her on here, but I want to hear it from you.”

“She likes to think that she’s in control, so she likes to ride me. But she knows who runs this shit. My kids aren’t the only ones who call me daddy.” Jack responded while smirking and all Alex did was playfully roll her eyes.

“Your wife is going to get you for that one and I’m going to let her have at it.”

“Yeah that’s how it all starts and it’ll end with me fucking her brains out like it always does.”

“You’re going to be in for it when this is over. Hmm, kinks?”

“I love praising her because I know it makes her reach her peak faster, but definitely a spit kink.”

“OH! TELL ME MORE! I am intrigued!”

“Alex, you are funny as shit.”

“I’m serious! Out with it.”

“Spitting in her mouth and watching her swallow it.”

“Are you sure you’re as vanilla as you say you are, because? Yeah I’m going to need wifey here to get her perspective. Do you think she’s ever faked an orgasm while you were in her? Would you be able to tell?”

“I know her body inside and out and she better not do that shit and have me find out about it. But, I don’t think she has.”

“Hand jobs, blow jobs?”

“Fuck yeah, I love me a good hand job or blow job.”

“Craziest place that you’ve gotten one or had sex period?”

“On a plane to Australia. We thought everyone was asleep, but of course everyone except Urb. This was what I meant when he is always getting caught in the middle of some shit that has nothing to do with him. It was difficult because I’m so tall, but we made it work.”

“What would an erotic vacation look like for you?”

“Definitely fucking her brains out non stop in some tropical ass location. We’re not leaving our room for the entire time that we’re there.”

“Ooohh, now if you could have sex in any location in the world, where would it be?”

“Hmm, I never really thought about it. Maybe some exotic ass shit like behind a waterfall or something. But, I was also thinking the white house lawn because I don’t mind an audience.”

“NOT THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN!”

“YOU ASKED!”

“Have you ever had or thought about trying tantric sex?”

“I’ve never really thought much about it, but I would have to do my research. If wifey wants it, I’m down.”

“She really does wear the pants in your relationship, huh?”

“Alex, like I said before, you’re funny and no she doesn’t.”

“I literally do not think that anyone will agree with you. If I were to do a poll right now, everyone will probably say that she does.”

“I let her think that she does.”

“Mmm hmm, sure. Now what is your dirtiest sexual fantasy?”

“I don’t even know since I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to it and not many things are off limits.”

You had just gotten to the hotel that Jack was staying at while he was filming for his episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast when you decided to surprise him. He had been going non stop since the release of his new single and getting ready to go on The Kentucky Tour.

Of course Urban was with him and sent you a text saying that he was almost done and you promptly took a quick shower and slipped on one of Jack’s favorite lingerie sets which happened to be black and purple. You threw on your black silk robe in case you got cold and simply laid out on the bed and played on your phone waiting for your husband.

You had fallen asleep waiting for him when you felt him reach down and place a kiss on your lips and your eyes fluttered open.

“What are you doing here?” He playfully asked as he was now kneeling on the bed in front of you and playing with the ties on your black silk robe.

“I wanted to surprise my husband since he’s been working so hard and I figured you would want a little time to have me to yourself.” You answered while motioning for him to lean down so that you could kiss him which he quickly did.

As Jack deepened the kiss, he took the opportunity to undo your robe and took in the sight of you in front of him.

“A sight that I can never get tired of seeing.”

He started to kiss down your neck when you lightly pushed him away from you and flipped the two of you over as you went to undo his pants and slide down his boxer briefs.

“Last night on the phone with you wasn’t enough and I decided that I wanted you in my mouth as soon as possible.”

The night before, Jack was complaining about missing you so just like you had done many times before, you gave him a show which ended up with him cumming multiple times as he watched you.

Jack had now tossed his shirt to the other side of the room and you had gotten his boxer briefs completely off before taking him in your mouth painfully slow making him grab the back of your head and buck his hips towards you.

“Baby, do not fucking tease me right now. All I basically did was talk about how good I fuck you in that podcast and we need to get to it before I fucking bust. This shit is starting to hurt and take that lingerie off.” Jack whined as you were making yourself comfortable.

Before taking him back in your mouth, you did as you were told.

“Patience, my love. You know that I’m always going to make it worthwhile.” You answered him as you went back to pleasuring him with your mouth and your eyes began to water as you felt him reach the back of your throat.

You were taking your slow sweet time and even though Jack was getting annoyed, he was in entirely too much pleasure to say anything at the moment knowing that when he finally did cum in your mouth that it would be worth it.

“Ahh fuck. Come on baby, go a little faster than that.” Jack pleaded with you, but then you took him out of your mouth and went to the edge of the bed and laid down upside down.

“Get over here and face fuck me then.” You said while giggling and Jack wasted no time getting in front of you and sliding himself back into your mouth while throwing his head back in pleasure.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, ohhhh shiiiiit.”

Jack had now taken a hold of both sides of your face and began moving in and out of your mouth as you reached down to play with your clit knowing that if he saw you playing with yourself that he would cum faster.

“Come on baby, open that pretty mouth of yours wider for me. You can take more of me, you’re doing such a good job.”

You did as you were told and inserted two fingers while still continuing to play with your clit with the opposite hand as you felt the spit from your mouth leaking down the sides of it.

“You playing with your pussy for me? Add another finger for daddy.”

Listening to Jack, you added another finger as he reached down to spit on your clit which made you increase the pace of your fingers.

You couldn’t help but to moan while Jack was still in your mouth and knew that you were going to reach your peak soon.

And as if right on cue, you heard Jack.

“Fuck, baby.” He tightly held onto you as you hit your peak and felt the cum shooting down your throat and out the sides of your mouth, but you continued sucking him off not showing him any mercy.

“Hold on!”

You shook your head no as you continued to move him in and out of your mouth, but finally let up when you felt another load shoot into your mouth and quickly swallowed it. Jack slightly moved away from you as you sat up and turned around to face him smirking.

“Wait until I get your ass for doing that.” Was all he said as you reached up to kiss him. You caught him off guard as you reached down and slowly began to jerk him off when he broke the kiss and looked down at you.

“Get your ass to the top of the bed and spread your legs so I have enough room.”

You moved until you reached the top as Jack hovered over you and simply looked down at you to admire you.

“What, babe?” You asked as you were now beginning to shy away from him, but all he did was lightly grab your face and kiss you.

“Nothing, it’s just my wife is so gorgeous and I’m about to have her screaming at the top of her lungs with how good I’m about to make her feel.” He answered as he began to rub small circles along your clit and reached down to kiss you while slipping his tongue in your mouth.

When you least expected it, he slowly entered you making you gasp against his lips which he quickly quieted you with another kiss as he began to move.

“Look at my pretty girl taking this dick.”

Jack then lifted your legs so that they were on the top of his shoulders and began pounding into you making you gasp as he caught you in another kiss.

“Shiiiit.” Was all you could mutter as you wrapped your arms around Jack’s neck as both of your noses were touching.

As Jack continued to keep the same pace, he kept his eyes on you and simply smirked.

“Open your mouth.”

You felt warm liquid slide down the back of your throat as he continued to move and place small kisses along your breasts.

On your right breast, he placed a small kiss and bit down and continued to suck on the same spot as you were letting out a series of curses and whimpers.

That was going to leave a mark, but you would deal with that later.

Jack then reached down to play with your clit and he quickly went to suck on your other breast knowing that he would have you come undone in front of him in less than a minute.

“Fuck, baby. Don’t stop, don’t stop.”

Jack then felt a rush of warm liquid hit the bottom part of his stomach and smirked as he reached up to kiss you.

As you were slowing down your breathing, Jack continued to rub small circles along your clit while kissing down your neck.

Once you felt that you recovered enough, you reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube that you had brought and handed it to Jack as you moved to get on all fours.

All he did was smirk at you before opening the bottle as you were making yourself comfortable in front of him.

You had only done anal a handful of times, but you found yourself wanting it more and more lately and of course, Jack wasn’t opposed.

“Baby, remember you have to relax so I can get in easier.” You heard him say as he was getting ready behind you.

“Yes, I know.” You softly answered as you felt the tip.

Jack noticed he was meeting resistance so he added more lube and had you arch your back a little bit more before trying again.

He was moving in slowly and didn’t hear anything from you which had him concerned and he simply stopped.

“Baby, you okay? You aren’t saying anything.”

“I’m fine, just keep going.”

After a few minutes, he was fully in and gave you a minute to adjust and made sure that you were okay.

“You ready for me to move?”

All you did was nod towards him as you felt him moving in and out of you.

“You’re doing so good, you’re doing so good for me baby. Arch your back a tiny bit more.”

Complying, you slowly but surely started to notice how good it felt as Jack reached down and you felt him insert what felt like a vibrator in you.

You had no idea when he had time to get it, but you weren’t in any way, shape, or form complaining.

“Babeee, oh fuck.”

“Got a new toy to use on you.”

Between the vibrator and Jack pleasuring you, you felt your legs begin to get weak and the perfect arch that you had once had was forgotten as you were trying to hold yourself up.

Jack noticed this and instead of turning the vibrator down and decreasing his pace, he did the opposite and turned it up while increasing his pace making you scream out.

“Baby…. Mmm… fuck I can’t…”

“Yes you can and you will, arch your back for me. Such a good girl.”

Jack reached down to play with your clit and your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks making you scream out as he slid out and released all over your back.

He then slid the vibrator out of you as you collapsed on your stomach and reached down to kiss your neck.

“You okay, down there? You were so good for me.”

You let out something of a groan letting him know that you were okay and he instantly laughed while sliding off the bed and pulling you by the ankles so that you were at the end of the bed and Jack was on his knees.

“Get on your knees for me because we are nowhere near done.”

This made you do a double take as you looked back at him in confusion.

“You didn’t think you were about to come all this way and I wasn’t going to taste my wife’s pussy, did you? Spread them damn legs.”

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skullhorn59 · 6 days

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Heavenly Hell 2

A/N: second chapter! no spicey here just yet. sorry!~ im not that good at writing yet. xP Tags/Warnings are added progressively, design changed/fixed with time. mostly proofread! Summary: you have always been a fan of the show Hazbin Hotel in your life - and as you are spawned in a Hell identically matching the Show, you can't believe your sheer luck. you're immediately on your way to eagerly meet the celebrities (at least they are in your world), but your arrival hadn't gone unnoticed... Pairings: Lucifer, Valentino, Adam, Alastor, Vox, Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, Husk x Fem!Reader Warnings/Promises: self aware and insecure Reader, Spoilers for the Show, Vox, Attempted Manipulation, successful Manipulation

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Minors DNI 🚨🚔

"so, tell me, what useful information could you, someone this new to hell, possibly have?"

Vox sits down and leans back in his chair, watching you with a bored expression on his screen. urgh. right. he probably watched you spawning (arriving?) in hell. this is gonna be a hard one to explain. fiddling with your fingers anxiously, you look everywhere but at his screen.

you already regret coming here first, and not getting yourself a fidget toy first or something. or some pills to help keep your anxiety down. shit, you probably look scared out of your mind right now. he's gonna think you're really weird and rude if you speak up like this. or straight up lying. but for fucks sake - you can't bring yourself to look directly at him.

instead - you take in your surroundings. Vox's office. you only know it's impressive size from the Screenshots of the show, and literally sitting in it now is even more impressive. it consists of a gigantic room, an equally gigantic shark tank below, and a big round platform in the middle, which is connected to the door with a long passway. no idea how this could possibly fit into the tower without having it collapse from the sheer weight of the water alone - the only logical answer would be it being underground.

your eyes wander back to the platform, which is decorated with Vox's emblem. illuminated by a bright array of screens behind it, a round control pult sits at the back end of the platform. infront of it in a spinny chair with it's tips pointing upwards, is a rather impatient looking Vox seated.

oops.

you better get to answering his question.

you clear your throat and swallow, unsure how to even start. thankfully, you get your own chair - manifested with a wave of Vox's hand - to sit into. hoping you aren't sweating too visibly right now, you collect your thoughts. if you know one thing, it's not to sell yourself short.

"well, you see, that's hard to explain. and, you, as the head of.. technology.., surely understand that information is a valuable resource. I can't just.. give it away for free."

taking a deep breath, you lean back a little, trying to at least look more relaxed than you actually are. nervousness isn't even close anymore, like, are you panicking already?? well, at least you can mask it pretty well, you think.

"but I can say this much: I have so much information on Alastor," you think you hear a slight glitch coming from Vox at the mention of the name, "and the others in the Hotel, it's not even funny. Just.. I have a few small questions for you first."

a short glance up into the TV Demon's face tells you he raised an eyebrow. is he interested?? you hope he is. with all you got.

"go on, ask your questions."

wait. isn't he usually more talkative than that? nono, you can't spend a thought on that right now. you need to focus.

"When did the last extermination happen?"

"about a week ago."

"okay.. any interesting or unexpected turns of events? I just have to know what happened and what didn't. I-I know this sounds cryptic, and maybe even crazy, but I need to know at what time I got here."

silence fills the room for a moment. you dare to glance at the Overlord again, and he musters you with an expression you can't quite place.

did you mess up?

But Vox interrupts your thought before you can continue it. "... the hotel members fought back against the Angels, and won. that's all." relieved, you let out breath you didn't realize you were holding. okay. that's good to know. so the extermination already happened. it makes a good bunch of your information useless, but still. you can work with that. now you just need to-

"I think I provided enough information to you now," the Overlord begins, interrupting your thoughts again. his voice is oddly sweet. "its time you return the favor, my dear." - of course, he's trying to get the info out of you without paying for it.

how greedy.

you adjust your position on the chair, crossing one leg over the other, before looking directly at him. he's wearing his signature smile, his digital eyes looking almost affectionately at you, but you know better than to trust the façade he put on.

"I told you, I'm not going to just give it away for free. And don't even try to fob me off with stuff like any of your products, pins, an autograph or similar worthless knick-knacks. That won't work on me. Trust me."

you glance at him again to gauge his reaction, and he seems surprised to hear you use his own slogan against him, but he quickly regains his composure. good. now just don't get any hypnotizing ideas, Vox...

"No, what I want is... actually quite simple. I want to be able to come and go to the entirety of this tower how and when I please. and.." you can't help a small smile at the thought of the Moth Man, "I want to see Valentino. preferably after our conversation."

and again, silence fills the room. you watch him tap the armrest of his chair with his fingers, thinking about your demands. you can't tell if he's going to give in to them or just declare you as crazy and throw you out, but you hope dearly it's not the latter.

just as the silence begins to get uncomfortable, the TV Demon clicks his tongue and stands up. your eyes dart up, and you automatically stand up too. what's happening? is he gonna throw you out now? - "alright. I accept. you may come and go freely, I'll get you your meeting with Val, and in turn, I get all the information you got on the Hotel and it's residents. Deal?"

Staring down at the hand he holds out, your mind whirls for a moment, overwhelmed with the action. you never thought he'd also make deals like Alastor - another detail they're matching each other in. you always thought he'd just somehow get peoples souls with sneaky contracts being signed when buying a Voxtek product or something.

as soon as you take his cold hand, he gives yours a firm shake, his smile widening to a grin as his face glitches momentarily. bright blue electrical currents and sparks begin to flow around the two of you for a moment, together with an intense blue light and a metallic screech. but as soon as it came, it's gone, and before you can waste a thought on it, Vox lets go of your hand, instead placing his around your shoulders as he guides you towards the door. "fantastic. now that that's done, how about we go check if Val's got some free time for you, hmm?"

you're confused.

doesn't he want your informations now?

on second thought - you don't mind too much. this way you have more of a reason to stick around and return.

─❲♡❳▷Hazbin Masterlist

─❲♡❳▷Main List

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kame-writes · 4 days

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Drabble- Sin!Lucifer's attitude towards the Hotel

The night before Charlie is due to make her TV appearance on 666 News, she stops by to have a word with her father about it.

Needless to say, the King of hell isn't too impressed with the idea of his daughter trying to turn Sinners into Winners.

One thing he can get on board with though, is challenging heaven and it's authority.

“Charlie, dear, don't you think this has gone far enough?” Lucifer sighed, leaning on his cane as he eyed up his deluded daughter, and what little she'd done to this hotel to ‘improve’ it.

She still hadn't fully come into her power, which only made her attempts even more sad to witness. “I let you play hotel, tried to let you realise on your own that all of this is foolish but-”

“-It's not some silly game, dad! I truly believe that sinners can change.” She cut him off, insistent and angry. He was surprised her horns weren't showing yet. “They can be better. Cleanse themselves of their sins and make it out! Isn't that worth a shot? To save their souls?”

“I gave them freewill, Charlie. I gave them every chance to do the right thing, and they chose to sin and earn a place in my domain instead. The fact that they aren't barging down the door at a chance of redemption only proves my point.” He pointed out, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa.

“We do have a patron.” Charlie pointed out defensively, crossing her arms and giving a very half hearted glare. “And I'm sure once I do the interview tomorrow, on the news, more people will show up. We just… haven't reached the right people yet.”

“I can't believe you're actually going through with the interview.” Lucifer pinched between his eyes, annoyed, but holding himself back from saying something ugly. Charlie was young, and naive. He needed to be a good parent and let her make her own mistakes. But it was so hard to not shut her down right now and save her, and him, the embarrassment of announcing her naivety to the public.

“Everyone will see this place as a joke.” He tried to explain to her. “Why would a sinner even want to go to heaven? With all those rules and strict conditions? We've made Hell such a comfortable place for them. I provide them everything they could ever want and more. Sinners love to sin, it's literally in their name.”

“Mom thought-”

“-You're mother was soft!” He snapped, harsher than he meant to, but his ex wife was a sore spot that he didn't like thinking about. “Lilith was human. She understood better than either of us how Sinners think. But in the end, all she cared about was being Queen. If she gave a shit about any soul in Hell… If she gave a shit about us, then where is she now?” His hand clenched tightly on his cane, his eyes flicking away from Charlie, briefly landing on the family portrait, before landing safely on a stain in the ratty old carpet.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down and be reasonable about all this. Despite her foolishness, he did love his daughter, and wanted her to explore her dreams. He wouldnt make her feel like he'd been made to feel by the other seraphim

“You were born here Charlie. You don't know any difference. You believe the lie they sell to humans. That it's worth its weight in gold, and what people should strive to be worthy of.” His voice softened slightly, looking back up at her, rising up from his seat to place a hand on her shoulder. “I'm sorry, princess. I love that you care so much, really I do. It's sweet that you think you want what's best for our people.”

It really was endearing how much she cared. If she had more confidence and drive, or was willing to put some actual power and ruthlessness behind her empathy, she could be a force to be reckoned with someday. “But remember, I was from Heaven. And it's... It's not the perfect paradise that you've been led to think. We lose so many sinners because of their massacre. Why would you want to send our people into the arms of the same monsters who kill hundreds every year?”

“That's different!” Charlie snapped, but the way she hugged herself showed it was more because she was upset than angry. “Exterminations happen because of overpopulation. Not all Angels are like that… You weren't. Plus, if they go to heaven, there won't be as much of an issue down here...”

“I was the exception, sweetie, not the rule. But, maybe you're right. Maybe they've ‘changed’ and will suddenly open the pearly gates, to allow in people who've committed murder and sexual deviancy.” Lucifer couldn't help the little laugh at the absurdity. “The fact remains. That our people don't want to change.”

“I've got to try, dad! I'll do whatever it takes to save our people from being slaughtered like animals. Just because they've made mistakes, it doesn't mean they deserve to suffer. To be killed like they don't matter!”

“I know honey, believe me, I know. I hate the exterminations as much as you do. But Heaven. They're not the forgiving kind.” Lucifer sighed, knowing that first hand more than anyone. “I won't try to stop you from doing this. I just want you to know that I'll be here for you, whatever happens tomorrow. I'll be here for you.” He bites his tongue from saying ‘When you fail’. “If you want to reach out to me.”

“Thanks dad.” Charlie sighed, sounding resigned, seeming to deflate a bit. Maybe she knew exactly what he'd left unsaid. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Hey. We might not always agree. But you know I love you, right, Char Char?” He asked, reaching up to cup her cheek, his thumb tracing the rosey cheek circles she’d inherited from him.

Charlie gave a gentle smile, but it didn't bring the sparkle to her eyes that he loved to see so much. “I know Dad. I love you too. I just wish you could see the dream I have for our people.”

“I can see it perfectly clear. Once upon a time it was my dream too.” He huffed, pulling back his hand, to hold hers instead, looking up at her with a much more genuine smile. “I lost that dream a long time ago. Now I improve sinners' lives in a very different way. But, despite what it seems, I want you to prove me wrong. I want you to be strong enough to do what I couldn't do.”

“Really?” Charlie didn't sound sure. Not completely convinced that her dad wanted her to even try.

“Really.” He assured her, giving her a wide toothy grin, his eyes gaining a familiar hint of mischief. “You're my daughter. After all, It's been awhile since a morningstar challenged heaven directly.” He let go of her hand, and took another look at the rundown hotel around them. “This ‘hotel’ is your project, and I may not be on board with it, or your methods. But when it comes to heaven and the exterminations, I will be more than happy to help in every way that I can. I'll protect you and your right to dream, with every ounce of angelic power in my possession.”

Charlie stared at Lucifer with slightly wide eyes, being able to hear the genuine pride in his voice. Her father might be the embodiment of pride, but she wasn't often the inspiration for that pride. Her expression broke into a wide grin, before she lunged forwards to pull the shorter man into a tight hug. “Thanks dad. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I have an idea kiddo.” Lucifer wrapped his arms tightly around her, raising up on his tiptoes to be able to hug her more comfortably. “No matter what happens tomorrow. I need you to promise me that you will keep on fighting.”

“I promise dad. I'm going to make you proud”

“You already do Charlie.”

#hazbin hotel #helluverse #hellaverse #hazbin hotel au #sin!lucifer au #lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #sin!Lucifer #drabbles #drabble

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ultimateheadcanontournament · 1 year

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Round Two

Sniper

"LORD THIS IS SUPER SPECIFIC LMAO. OK FOR THOSE NOT IN THE TF2 COMMUNITY:

Sniper has a secondary weapon called Jarate, which. Im not sugar-coating it. Its piss in a jar. Sniper has the bladder of a god and can refill a jar of piss in 20 seconds. I dont need to tell you that its not normal for that to happen. If I do, please consult your doctor.

Sniper develops this… superpower by taking Saxton Hale Jarate Pills, which supposedly tripled the size of his kidneys (and caused massive organ failure, which he supposedly cant feel because of the hale brand painkillers). Now, something super important to note: Saxton Hale is a fraud GASP. Its a well known fact that Hale's products are horrible, bottom of the barrel, sad excuses for products. He sells rocket launchers that can't even kill a man on direct hit.

NOW, I CAN ADDRESS THE NON-TF2 AND TF2 COMMUNITY AS EQUALS:

IF SAXTON SELLS SUCH SHIT PRODUCTS, WHY WOULD THE JARATE PILLS ACTUALLY WORK, AND WHY WOULD THE PAINKILLERS WORK?? HALE PROBABLY THINKS PEE IS STORED IN THE BALLS THIS MAN HAS 0 CLUE HOW ANATOMY WORKS.

Now, here's where the headcanon, dare i say FACT comes in: the biggest symptom of diabetes is lots and lots of piss. Other symptoms include abdomonal pain, which sniper can mistake as organ failure. Now why would Sniper never progress far enough to die of diabetes if he thinks its the pills?

Simple! Medic's medigun is a device that can restore cut off limbs, bullet holes, and my proposal: restore blood sugar to its normal levels. Medic probably knows but just keeps forgetting to tell him / thinks its funnier he doesnt know, and schedules regular medigun appointments to make sure Sniper doesnt die of what diabetes was once known as- pissing disease.

But behold! The piss rabbit hole deepens! Im 1800 characters deep talking about my piss headcanons why the fuck not right?? After the teams disband, Medic (finally) tells Sniper he has diabetes. He learns to manage it, leading up to the events of the comics- where sniper has access to needles. NEEDLES!!! THE SAME KIND I BASICALLY HAVE, A DIABETIC. We even KNOW Sniper has no reasonable reason for them- he has no poison (he injects them with moonshine), and while he IS a mercenary who enjoys his job (snipin's a good job mate), you can argue he'd want to keep his personal life and work life very separate, weaponry and poisons included. Sniper had the needles to administer insulin, especially since we know its just the needles, no poison or extra materials nearby. He literally says its his PARENTS house, why the hell would he bring weapons over that would bother them?

To summarize, Sniper has a lot pointing to either massively humongous kidneys, or diabetes. He shows classic symptoms, had access to 'treatment' without knowing it, and later shows up with needles at his disposal in an environment where he really shouldn't have needles. Ur honor, i rest my 3000 character long piss case."

"just show the jarate thanks. sorry for saying piss so much i absolutely know you didnt think you'd be reading piss headcanons but i genuinely love the idea that sniper has diabetes, as a diabetic myself. It just comes with the side effect that the main reason i headcanon it is entirely around fucking piss. I hope life is kind to you stranger :)"

Cinderella

"Cinderella was a trans woman and that's why no other woman in the entire kingdom had the same-sized shoes as her"

#round 2 #tournament poll #team fortress 2 #tf2 #disney #cinderella #tf2 sniper

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tobiasdrake · 2 months

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We're on a mission to FIX THIS. With forty minutes to spare so this will not go smoothly.

Yuki. It's gotta be Yuki. Yuki's the one who ate Haruhi. Yuki's morally ambiguous enough to eat Haruhi. It would make sense for her mission if she ate Haruhi. She has the intelligence to pull off this weirdass alter-history-retroactively-but-in-a-way-that-doesn't-change-the-past-somehow scheme.

It has to be her.

That is definitely Yuki's silhouette.

I still have so many questions about what the hell Yuki did and why.

She's tired. She ate Haruhi because she's tired. Yeah. Okay. 15,000 time loops will do that to a person. I can believe that.

I still sympathize with her intentions moreso than the actual plan to put things back to normal. I know we're gonna. But. Like.

From a story writing and drama building perspective, the original world is better. But from a person-who-lives-in-this-world perspective, there's basically no reason to choose the original world.

The movie tries to sell us on it nonetheless, of course.

But to be honest, this feels tremendously unearned. It's the obligatory climactic conclusion to this one movie, but it's a lot like the forced kiss back in the world-cramping.

Kyon doesn't undergo character development over the course of the story; He just sometimes is a different character for the sake of the climax. If he was actually written as someone who enjoys all of Haruhi's bullshit and wants to live in her world then this would make sense.

Maybe it works better in the light novels, since I understand those are written from Kyon's perspective so we probably get a lot more of his innermost thoughts and feelings. But here in the anime, it's a lot like Future Mikuru's "No really I actually super enjoy being molested all the time HONEST!" bit. It feels like retroactive revisionism.

This was obviously where the story was going to end, and we knew this was going to be where the story ended, and they leaned on that to get out of actually writing an organic journey that would lead to this ending. It happens because it's what was always going to happen, and not because the character has ever been written like this. It's relying on familiarity with Manic Pixie Dream Girl genre conventions in place of writing a dynamic character.

It's also supremely self-centered to decide that we should have city-destroying horrors and Yuki should be miserable purely on the basis that Kyon was having fun, but that part is completely earned. It fits perfectly in with the same warped protagonist-centric morality that gave us Haruhi in the first place.

I can't buy Kyon abruptly deciding that actually he was enjoying all of this for the entire show and only pretended to be miserable all this time. But I can absolutely buy that the fate of this universe turns entirely on one person's selfish interests, made with zero regard for anybody else's safety or emotional wellbeing.

Oh holy shit THAT'S what "She's been born anew" meant!

Newfound Sentimentality Yuki wanted Ryoko back!? I love that. Obviously she wasn't intending for Ryoko to stab Kyon but the idea that she binged Ryoko back to life but forgot how fucked up Ryoko is? I get that.

Meanwhile Future Mikuru's hanging out offscreen watching this happen.

Useless as ever, Mikuru. Thanks. Could literally end this in a moment by picking up the Tetanus Shot off the ground and sniping Yuki with it while Ryoko's distracted. But sure. Deer in the headlights works too, I guess.

I don't know why they wrote Mikuru if they're never going to let her do anything.

Two Mikurus and nobody's trying to shoot Yuki with the Thing That Makes This Stop Happening.

It is right there.

Come on.

Really.

We don't even see the end of the conflict? A brand new character, implied-to-be-Future-Kyon, shows up and fixes everything offscreen? I feel robbed.

#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya #the disappearance of haruhi suzumiya #drake watches haruhi suzumiya

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bythenineshards · 1 year

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Omg what was up with that Feysand stan on ur post????? ITS JUST A THEORY. (Not to mention a MUCH better pairing) and lol if Feysand was always endgame why in the fck does Rhysie SA Feyre??? Did Sjm do that to build sexual tension (cause Feyre says in Acomaf she had "wanted him even then") AND THAT'S INFINITELY WORSE!!

Lmao they tried to fire up on one of my posts too and I immediately blocked them. Seen them one too many times fighting about posts that's none of their business. Like life is so empty u need to fight with strangers on the internet to feel something. I am literally so mad not them saying Tamlin Apologists deserve to be bullied?!?!? For liking a fictional character????!!

I took personal offence to that

Ha! See! I told you I would respond today. I totally didn't get sucked into Skyrim and my writing and nearly forgot.

Idk what their problem was. They blocked me like the first week I was on here so I didn't think much of them. I knew about them because there would be discourse on posts and an invisible opponent. So I guess they unblocked me to stir shit and idk, get more traffic to their blog? They rebranded with a name that is clearly meant to draw in Antis of Feysand. I think they're like 15 and so I guess they're in their "I'm edgy look at me phase" where they want to pick fights because they think they're always right and special. I'm so glad I didn't grow up with my cringe behavior on the internet.This is why we don't sell erotica or "dark romance" to children. They can't handle speculation or discussions. I bet they cry over Marvel's What If... series because it's not Canon. Like... the post that had them all fired up was speculation about something we have receipts for. And a lot of people liked the idea. All they do is make the books look worse.

And the way they talk about Feyre vs. Nesta is like they think they're written by two different people. This isn't Harry Potter (fuck you Rowling) vs. Twilight (fuck you Meyers). I don't think Feyre gets a free pass to transform into a person of another race just cuz Nesta and Gwyn modelled their stuff after the Valkyries. I think both are bad and icky because the same author wrote both and clearly doesn't see how offensive that could be. I do, however, think that there's a difference between what Feyre did and the Blood Rite. Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie were kidnapped and forced into the Blood Rite. They didn't actually choose to.

Side note though: Valkyries are from Norse mythology. It does chap me that she couldn't use a mythology or create something new for her Illyrians to flesh out their culture. She just used a primarily white culture for her non-white character's culture.

Sorry to rant about that. It just irked me.

I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would ship Feysand the way it's written in Canon. I can with 100% confidence say I've never written a romance that involved anyone SAing anyone. Hell, I don't feature SA at all really. I don't want it in my fantasy. I want people to find peace and love in my books. Men have written enough SA in fantasy, it doesn't need any from me.

But like... if you look at their posts, the reason I don't like Feyre is because I wanted "my fav" to end up with Rhys. They can't fathom that I don't like Rhys at all. I don't like any of her men. They don't appeal to me at all. The only one I might’ve had any inkling of interest in is Kallias but I'm sure if we spent more than a handful of pages with him, I'd hate him too. I think she'd eventually change all of them regardless of appearance to something shallow and toxic.The Bat Boys specifically are boring to me. Their designs suck, their personalities suck and the way they treat their women sucks. Nothing I see in her books is what I would classify as love. Her books aren't about love. They're about sex with hot dudes. But you know what? Other books do romance, love and even just sex better.

I'm glad you blocked them. Just know, they still spy on us.

Thank you for your ask. I hope you're doing well.

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti rhysand #anti sjmaas #anti feysand #anti feyre #sjm critical #ask holly #stans being stans #anti acosf #ask me stuff #ask me questions #ask me anything #thanks for the ask!#ask #ask me things #answered asks #answered ask #answered

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6ad6ro · 2 months

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advertisement drives me mad. money makes me sick. the idea that i have to work to survive makes me wanna give up. if i see another corporation mistreating it's customers, i'll burn a corporate building down. why did we as people let it get this bad? why are the worst kinds of people always the ones in charge? this whole hatred of minorities is so obviously braindead, so why is it so prevalent in society?

why are trans kids dying, when who gives a shit what people choose to do with their bodies or how they choose to identify? why does sexuality matter to someone who isn't involved? why is housing not a human right? why do i have to struggle just to eat, when so much goddamn food is produced daily? why on earth are we destroying the planet when we know how to prevent it? why does your imaginary god or your heaven take precedence over our current reality?

i don't understand why we don't automatically try to keep every person healthy. i don't understand why drug addicts are viewed as evil instead of people who are addicted and need help. i can't fathom why the type of people who fight back against evil corporations in order to save the world are labeled "eco terrorists" when the corporations themselves are so clearly the bad guys. i don't get why "hippies" are mocked when they're just promoting peace and love. i don't get why education is so hard to get and so expensive, when GOD this goes against everyone's interests!

why are disabled people ignored. why are homeless people ignored. why is it "embarrassing" when adults live with their parents, when obviously the economy and housing is so fucked right now. why are rich losers allowed to buy up all the houses to begin with?? why are landlords allowed to exist!? why is an art or music degree viewed as "worthless" when so many of us, even the shitty ones in charge, really only wake up every day because of art. why the fuck is so much plastic produced and thrown away every day?

why can companies sell food that's barely edible. why are social networks allowed to monetize human conflict. why are governments allowed to be in the prison and war business? why on fuckin earth can army recruitment target young kids and poor neighborhoods?? why when covid happened were people still being forced to work when it was literally killing us!? why are pharmaceutical companies allowed to use their customers as guinea pigs? why is nudity in media so bad but violence is just fine? will someone finally admit that we as a society are addicted to tv and videogames to the point of complete social dysfunction??

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LIFE? WHY ARE WE ALL SUFFERING SO NEEDLESSLY?!?! we all know what's wrong. a toddler could look at this world and know it's all broken. we lie to our kids and tell them things are fine. we treat the concept of "becoming an adult" in the same way we tell them about santa claus. try to keep em as innocent as possible for as long as we can. and none of us grow up. don't lie to yourself. you're a child inside. santa claus, jesus, democracy. capitalism. it's all fairy stories. none of it is real. you know we're giving birth in hell.

so why can't we do something about it? why the FUCK am i not doing something about it?? every day of your life, every fucking moment, make sure you try to change this fucking shithole world. make sure you fight. for yourself and everyone else. be the world's immune system. cure this sickness, this "society". don't you EVER back down. don't you ever fuckin yield.

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 10 months

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While I respect that Islam-dominated countries do have it worse than America, let's not deny that America is loaded with tons of problems caused by the religious right, like historical revisionism, the denial of abortion rights, and whatever the hell created trump's cult. The reason a lot of people who don't like it don't leave is because they can't, mostly due to financial issues. Just because my neighbor is paralyzed, that doesn't mean my broken arm is any less of an issue.

Let's imagine for a moment that money was no object. Where would you go? Where in the world do you think doesn't have a right-wing, with a large proportion of religious?

Canada? Sweden? UK? All of those countries have abortion laws that are comparable to, or even stricter than, many state laws in the US. For example, California bans abortion after fetal viability (~24-26 weeks), while Sweden bans it after 18 weeks (notwithstanding those medically necessary due to risk to the mother or fetus).

Regarding historical revisionism, that's not unique to the right or the left. The 1619 Project, for example. Not only did they fabricate a bogus history, the lead author denied even the pretence of objectivity, and then fabricated an alternate history where she never said the things she said. (See: #1619Gate.) You should be as concerned about one as the other, but also notice that it doesn't require religiosity -- at least in the conventional sense. Fundamentalist ideology works just as well.

As far as Trump goes, I think Bill Maher put it best:

youtube

So why do Republicans stand by him now? The easy answer is they're deplorables, ignorant and bad, and yes, there is some of that. I'm sorry, if I'm going to stay in America, and America is going to stay America, I can't write off half the country that easily. Also, I talk to deplorables. So let me try to translate. Not endorse, but translate for liberal America. Part of the appeal of a Herschel Walker, or a Donald Trump or any number of egregious assholes Republicans have backed is, in their mind, the worse a candidate is, the more it says to Democrats "do you see how much we don't like what you're selling?" "All that socialism and identity politics and victimhood and oversensitivity and cancel culture and white self-loathing and forcing complicated ideas about race and sex on kids too young to understand it? Literally anything would be better than that." That's their view. That's why you can be a really bad dude in Republican politics, and it's not a deal breaker. [..] I'm not so sure [the fetish breasts trans teacher] isn't doing this to make a statement. That anyone can do absolutely anything in the name of wokeness and the left will never stop them. And that's when Republicans say "well then we'll have to, no matter who we have to elect to do it." The fact that Republicans have no shame in their game, and will vote for any monster with an R by his name is their way of signaling how serious they are about blocking this shit.

There's a sense that what opened up the opportunity for people like Trump was the shift of the left away from the core party principles, towards esoteric, postmodern and, let's face it, pretentious ideas. That they abandoned their historical constituency and their historical platforms related to concerns over socio-economic class, and became fixated on identity politics, rather than economics politics. Stupid ideas like those that eventually gave birth to "defund the police," which nobody who was affected by police reduction actually wanted; it came from white middle-class people who would never have to bear the brunt of the the results. Luxury beliefs. (And if anyone wants to insist that "nObOdY mEaNt ThAt," I'm going to call them a liar.)

When you cut through the horseshit of Trump's lies and megalomania, the message he has is simple, and yet enticing to average America: "they don't care about you and your working class jobs, your middle-America values, your nuclear family. They're east and west-coast elites who look down on you." Such as calling a good chunk of the population "deplorables."

Now, as someone who doesn't believe for a second that he genuinely has their interests at heart or in mind, or anything other than his own self-interest and self-promotion, I can still see he has a point here.

His particular brand of insane multi-billionaire schtick being sold to average Americans is not the remedy. Re-asserting classical liberal ethics is, not embracing right-wing populist illiberalism. I still regard myself as left-ish, but I don't recognize the incarnations of the left that are now manifesting in countries that have succumbed to this crap. While I would be willing to vote for a sane conservative head of government, I would rather have my left back. But I get why people might view him as the alternative.

A Trump doesn't come out of nowhere. He comes about as a reaction to or shift in something else. He's an opportunist and a predator, and he's exploited a vulnerability in America. The question shouldn't be why he's exploiting that vulnerability, because if it wasn't him, it would be someone else. The question should be what created that vulnerability in the first place that opened the door for him.

I'm not saying don't fix the remaining issues, but don't act like the majority of the really big ones haven't already been addressed. And don't act like the liberalism on which your society is organized isn't equipped to, or capable of, fixing what remains.

Frankly, I see a lot of what you described as a natural part of the liberal system doing its job. Or, supposed to be doing its job, when people actually do liberalism. Maybe I'm a naive idealist in that way.

Look at it this way: everything you're concerned about can be inverted, and that's what the Republicans are concerned about. That's why I describe it as disagreements. "But I'm right," you might say. So do they. These are matters of opinion.

The reason why countries like America, Canada, UK, etc are better than Islam-dominated countries isn't because there are no problems. It's because it has a system to fight over those problems that doesn't involve either going to war, or having a regime kill everyone who disagrees. In an Islamic regime, there are no matters of opinion, no disagreements. There is compliance with Islamic doctrine, or there is retribution.

Eerily, the failure of people to do liberalism is creating the same thing. In a woke regime, there are no matters of opinion, no disagreements. There is compliance with Critical Theory, words like "woman", "man" and "racism" have been redefined for ideological objectives, there are new phrases like "birthing people" and "parents of childbearing potential," while other words, such as "same-sex attraction" and "merit" are haram. And if you don't comply, there is cancel culture.

Liberalism is not an ideology or a set of policies or beliefs. It's a method for conflict resolution. It's a way for different ideas to compete be thrashed out, be tested, accepted, rejected, negotiated, and so forth. I actually see many - not all, but many - of these discussions, arguments and disagreements as a good thing. It's a liberal system in motion. What you're describing is simply a moment in time. Look back 20 years to the gay rights movements, or 60 years to the civll rights movements.

That's what messy democracies look like while hashing out their disagreements.

One thing I will point out is that the US is a union of states, just as Canada is a federal dominion of provinces and territories, and Australia is a federation of states and territories. Laws like abortion occur at the state level because it allows citizens to build the kind of state that they want. To nominate and vote in representatives that will implement the laws they want. This is intentional, and by design. So whichever side you fall on in regards to abortion, cannabis, euthanasia, gun laws, whatever, you have the ability to find or create the state that suits your views. As the saying goes, it's a feature, not a bug; a specific, intentional design by the founders, and it's why so many laws relating to social issues operate at the state level, not the federal level.

You can have the state that suits you, and someone else can have the state that suits them.

Roe v Wade didn't create new law, and it certainly wasn't "settled law." All it did was put a pause on the existing laws. What it being overturned means is that, because abortion is not protected by the US constitution, control returns to the states. The states - that is, the people - get to decide what they want their state to look like.

That's not a failure or error, that's the US functioning as it's supposed to.

Obviously I reject religious arguments and claims, as anyone can and should. But in regards to abortion, this is not simply an argument of religion vs everyone else; there are philosophical aspects to the abortion debate that have nothing to do with ancient superstitions.

Even if you support choice (as I do), how comfortable are you with the "any time, any reason" of the hard-line "pro-choice" activists?

[ Amanda Herring, left, poses for a portrait with the words "not yet a human" written on her pregnant belly during an abortion rights demonstration in front of the Supreme Court on Friday. Herring, who is Jewish, told CNN that her religion has helped shape her views on abortion. "Judaism says that life begins with the first breath, that is when the soul enters the body," she said. Source: CNN ]

On the other end of the spectrum is the hard-line "at no time, for any reason."

Do I support the right of Amanda Herring to abort her baby at 38-39 weeks? Hell no. And don't give me "tHaT nEvEr HaPpEnS!" Then why does it need to be legal? There shouldn't be a problem legislating against something that never happens, right?

And why do these exist?

[ Source: Redbubble ]

And let's not forget that religious nonsense - in this case, Judaism - cannot be a justification for "pro-choice" any more than it can be a justification for "pro-life." It's would be colossally hypocritical of her to oppose religious (Xian) arguments against abortion (which is justified) while promoting religious (Jewish) arguments for abortion.

Do I support her right to abort at 4 weeks? Absolutely.

Now start counting upwards from say 10 weeks upwards, and see me get less certain and less comfortable. Which would be true of most people.

Look at this graph from Pew Research for a moment:

You have however many agreeing with the Dem party position ("pro-choice"), and however many agreeing with the Rep party position ("pro-life").

Now, I don't know that either party has actually adopted those hard-line positions as official policy, but they operate as the de facto positions in the debate between the activists.

But don't focus on the blue or the red. Look at the gray section in the middle. There is a large cohort in the middle which doesn't agree with either party.

Because most people have a more nuanced view than these two extremes. (There's an irony that some of the people who think sex is a "spectrum" think you're either for or against, with no gradation in between.)

The majority of people think the length of pregnancy should matter.

The majority of people agree with the right to choose (first trimester), yet also disagree with "any time, any reason" (third trimester).

Did you know there's a Democrats for Life, and a Republicans for Choice? Or that a third of Republicans support choice?

Or that, among Democrats who say abortion should be illegal, more than half are women? Or that Medium religiosity of Democrats on both sides sits within 10 points?

[ See also: A closer look at Republicans who favor legal abortion and Democrats who oppose it ]

One of the reasons I support choice is because it is a morally fraught question, that parents have to wrestle with the reality of it, they know what they're discussing and considering, because there aren't only religious concerns or objections. Because at 6 weeks, atheists who don't subscribe to myths about the soul or god's commandments are still aware of what they're contemplating.

In the majority of WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic) countries where abortion is legal, there are also limits, although these also include exceptions, such as for danger to the mother, for example.

Canada by province and Australia by state:

In most of Europe, it ranges from 10-24 weeks. Keep in mind that 24 weeks is close to the end of the second trimester.

Ask people from these locations whether they feel "oppressed" by this. There will undoubtedly be people who think these should be longer or shorter, but my point here isn't the outcome, it's the process. Take, for example, what happened in the UK:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_in_the_United_Kingdom

When a further Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill (now enacted) was considered by Parliament in 2008, several votes were held on the term limit in Britain, as follows: • reduction from 24 weeks to 12 weeks (71 ayes, 393 noes); • reduction from 24 weeks to 16 weeks (84 ayes, 386 noes); • reduction from 24 weeks to 20 weeks (190 ayes, 331 noes); and • reduction from 24 weeks to 22 weeks (233 ayes, 304 noes).

You can see that at different term limit points, people become less or more certain. They're more willing to consider reducing from 24 weeks to 22 weeks than from 24 to 12. Because it isn't purely the religious trying to dictate to everyone else.

When Roe v Wade was struck down, there had already been 50 years of opportunity to codify Roe v Wade through a constitutional amendment.

This is comparable to what happened recently with the Respect for Marriage Act, which had bipartisan support, and is what's actually supposed to happen in these kinds of situations. If they had not, the 2015 ruling would have been at future risk of being overturned.

But they didn't. And now that it is overturned, there's no motivation for those states with laws or amendments banning or restricting it to come back and do so. Prior to it being overturned, the pro-choice side should have been motivated by a desire to mitigate the risk of overturn, and the pro-life side should have been motivated to solidify something that they could live with - as we've seen, most people support some form of choice. But all that's gone away, and this isn't something congress can "fix" after the fact.

Keep in mind the Supreme Court doesn't, and can't, create new laws. It rules on the constitutionality of laws when they're challenged. And the constitution doesn't define what you can or can't do, it defines what the government can or can't do. The constitution is about limitations on the government. Any constitutional amendment which was writtten to codify Roe v Wade would have been about limiting the government's ability to legislate abortion, not institute "rights." That's not what the constitution is for.

If you've ever read the 14th Amendment, which is the linchpin to Roe v Wade, it's kind of astonishing that it was ever successful in the first place. Even if you support the effect it had, you should still be surprised it wasn't struck down earlier. (Seriously, have you people actually read it?) The fact the pro-choice side seemed to think this house built on sand was "settled law" and resisted, or never pursued, locking in something that could not be overturned without amending the constitution again, even if it would mean conceding term limits or other qualifications, will remain a mistake with lasting consequences.

One of the very obvious problems is that a fetus at 20 weeks and 1 hour is indistinguishable from a fetus at 19 weeks, 6 days and 23 hours. Like evolution, there are no milestones. And every pregnancy is different. There is no "right" answer.

But as is often the case, the perfect is the enemy of good. Because although there might be no "right" answer, there can be a "good enough" or "less bad" option. Many countries, provinces and states have used their liberal processes to argue out a "good enough" answer. And this could have been negotiated and codified in the US.

Along with a program of sex education and contraceptive access and education, to make it, as the saying goes, safe, legal and rare.

But it wasn't. So, now it goes back to the states, and they each get to do it.

So this isn't a problem of "the religious right." It's a function of shaky case law, the extremists on both sides causing stalemates through (different) arguments from authority ("because god said"/"because I said"), a ticking timebomb finally going off, and the structure of the US operating like it's designed to.

Remember: these legislators aren't just doing things arbitrarily. They're voted in by people whose interests, values and beliefs they represent. If the people are unhappy, they vote them out and vote in someone who will do what they want.

Circling back to my point, when I see the abortion debate, and what's going on post-Roe, I see a messy democracy sorting out its disagreements. I see states codifying things into law and their constitutions one way or the other. And that's fine. Given the opportunity to codify at the level of the US constitution has been and gone, this is how it's supposed to work. They had an opportunity to avoid it all, but this is what they ended up with.

What we're likely to see over time, if we were to say, look 100 years into the future, is that the ground will likely be different again. Many states will have relaxed bans because the generations since have changed their views. And some states will have tightened things up from the "any time, any reason" approach (although there aren't many right now).

Again, this is liberalism at work. The evolutionary pressure of opposing views testing and being tested against each other for support.

"Liberalism’s great contribution to civilization is the way it handles conflict. No other regime has enabled large and varied groups of people to set a social agenda without either stifling their members’ differences or letting conflict get out of hand. Bertrand Russell once said that “order without authority” might be taken as the motto both of political liberalism and of science. If you had to pick a three-word motto to define the liberal idea, “order without authority” would be pretty good. The liberal innovation was to set up society so as to mimic the greatest liberal system of them all, the evolution of life. Like evolutionary ecologies, liberal systems are centerless and self-regulating and allow no higher appeal than that of each to each in an open-ended, competitive public process (a game). Thus, a market game is an open-ended, decentralized process for allocating resources and legitimizing possession, a democracy game is an open-ended, decentralized process for legitimizing the use of force, and a science game is an open-ended, decentralized process for legitimizing belief. Much as creatures compete for food, so entrepreneurs compete for business, candidates for votes, and hypotheses for supporters. In biological evolution, no species, however clever or complex, is spared the rigors of competition—nor are the participants in capitalism, democracy, science. No matter who you are, you must conduct your business in the currency of dollars, votes, or criticism—no special fiat, no personal authority." -- Jonathan Rauch, "Kindly Inquisitors"

Let's face it, though - countries like the US long ago solved problems that Islam doesn't even acknowledge, because the quran was written 1400 years ago and its morality and understanding of the world hasn't improved by a single day.

We'd do well to remember that perfection is not achievable or desirable. A perfect society can never be achieved, simply because all citizens will never agree on everything. And any "perfect" society - or attempt to create one - is functionally a repressive, totalitarian regime; take heaven, for example.

A functioning society will also be imperfect and messy because there will always be a new idea, a new scientific discovery or technology, a new thing to hash out.

Islam has only the word of god. What is the answer to any question? We look it up in the quran and religious scholars try to divine Allah's intent, applying 1400 year old "wisdom" to issues "Allah" (Muhammad) never saw coming. When they declare it, you obey. If you disagree, you're a blasphemer and an enemy of Islam.

People escape from places like this to the WEIRD countries to participate in the liberal system, because they're flexible and evolving, rather than because they're perfect. Ask someone who immigrated from a Muslim-majority country why they immigrated. Somewhere on that list is going to be the fact the Islamic government will kill them for disagreeing, because it means disagreeing with the word of Allah. In a liberal society, that disagreement is fundamental to its operation.

#ask #religion is a mental illness

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ofthehands · 5 months

Text

Had the idea of a TCM vampire AU stuck in my head for quite some time now, and while I've got a fic blocked out for it and will probably draw some sketches for it soon, I wanna work on other stuff at the moment, so under the read more is a collection of ideas I've had for it that I'm throwing into the nether.

Sawyer Colony

Grandpa-

Literal 1000 year old vampire

Supposedly super powerful (younger Sawyers hype him up so much)

Not very active (for now)

Passes on vampirism to other Sawyers either genetically or by biting them "when the time is right"

Nubbins-

Born human, turned by Grandpa when he was pretty young bc he fell off the roof of their house and almost died

Super proud of this fact ("I'm g-grandpa's favorite!")

Survives getting hit by truck bc vehicular manslaughter can't really kill a vampire lol

Chop Top-

Born human as well, turned by Grandpa before he went to Vietnam "just in case"

Good call, he took a swinging mace straight to the forehead, would have died if not turned

Really enjoys taking part in human life/ music/ just hanging out with humans he doesn't plan to eat. Nubbins will do it with him, but isn't really social otherwise.

Drayton-

Hasn't actually been turned as of the start of story

Incredibly salty about this fact, is a dick to brothers in part bc of this, and is way meaner when he's been worrying about his own mortality/ potentially never getting turned

Started selling human meat as a side hustle to get rid of all the bodies his vampire brothers brought home.

Very anti-social and disconnected from his humanity despite being a human much longer than his brothers.

Bubba -

Only Sawyer brother born a vampire

Was his parents' pride and joy bc of this.

Parents didn't leave, ended up killed. Long story lol

Really wants to socialize with humans/ the outside world, but brothers have convinced him he can't.

Does self-expression (masks + little outfits + makeup + hair), listening to radio, and watching movies to simulate interaction he craves.

Vampire Hunters

Lefty-

Usual obsessive Lefty things.

Got fired from job bc he was constantly pursing vampires.

Only person who believed Sally when she reported vampires killed her friends.

Dying of heatstroke at all times bc he wears a turtleneck everywhere

more scared of being bitten/ turned than he is of dying (fairly confident vampires don't have souls/ can't go to heaven, and so being bitten = L + Ratio + ruined soul + no place in God's kingdom)

Stretch-

Got dragged into this the usual way (though a little different)

Overall the most successful hunter. (Don't worry about that lol)

Confident she can bring an end to the vampire colony and avenge those they've lost.

Only vampire hunter to actually work with all the other hunters at some point. (Don't worry about that either)

LG-

Stretch's emotional support

Has no idea how tf to deal with vampires

Beats the shit out of them in bat form with a stop sign stolen from their lair (not effective but kind of funny to watch)

Mad as hell at Lefty for dragging them into this

Sally-

In psych hospital after talking about vampires killing her friends/ brother

Gets out of hospital after accepting the "truth" that vampires aren't real.

Trying to live her best life when dragged back into vampire nonsense by Lefty.

Has a service dog named Leo who helps with mental health symptoms and later with smelling/detecting vampire bats (they're stealthy little bastards)

Determined to avenge brother/ get her uncle out of the huge mess he's made

Other notes

Been working on vampire lore and making sure it all adds up. Currently they can turn into bats bc that's fun, and only the very old/ powerful vampires like Grandpa are weak to sunlight. Also a bite anywhere on the body can turn someone if they're not killed, so the Sawyers mostly cut people and lap up the blood, kind of like real vampire bats.

Also Franklin isn't on either list but he's going to be uuhhhh involved so to speak

#tcm #tcm vampire au #a lot of characters i could tag but im eeby and neeby to sleeby #if/when i make more stuff for this ill tag them when theyre relavent

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khalixvitae · 8 months

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making clothes, especially alternative clothes, IS fun. the process of creation is the most gratifying part me thinks! however i refused to get stencils because i was like lmfao im already an artist ill just go big or go home and spent 3 hours handpainting the font designs alone onto it which really effed me in my a. getting into the act of DIY 😰 i inhaled the fabric paint so much i swear i had a communion with god and he was slapping me in the face with a wet halibut. i really do get why brands who handmake their unique items price it so high because it requires so much attention and time and id love to support them but i am like... shit fuck poor.... :-///

and if it's not the price of the item or shipping that's the problem then it's the fact that it's literally discontinued. nada. it's been out of stock for years so i can't buy it from them and anyone who sells their originals price it absurdly high. again i can see why (kinda) but i just can't afford it so i might as well learn a thing or two by making it myself! hopefully, and eventually, i will be able to design my own ambitious articles.

my vision for my too-ambitious ass is those madame chocolat shirts. they are so ostentatious and they'd probably give me hell trying to make them but if i CAN do it my ego will be so big plus ill have a cool shirt!!!!

as for rookvil x yuu poly, i imagine it'd be all the better if yuu, either, did not know who they were and thus did not allow the illusion of their fame place them on a pedestal from the get go, or they do know them, and they don't make a very big deal out of it. how fascinating! these two are models more iconic than shalom harlow, than naomi campbell, than kate moss, cindy crawford, christy turlington, claudia schiffer-- you get the gravity of it! yet their nonchalance serves to be even more invigorating than the bustle of the fashion industry.

and if yuu was ardently passionate about the craft and artistry of fashion! they'd be positively enthused by the admiration for the arts many big brands fail to have kept alive. you don't want your designs to be twisted by the sick hand of fast fashion? don't want large brands to piggie back ride off your geniusry? fine. be their one and only designer. design haute couture pieces vil peacocks out on the runway with cutting confidence and striking charisma like no one else can even muster. design avant garde pieces with creative vision rook's theatrical passion will surely complement and even amplify to stun the audience into a stupor at the ingenuity of. design alternative items that would fit them and only them and they will ensure you will have what you want. the claim to your art, the opportunity for greatness, the means to a comfortable life, endless time in their company. isn't it thrilling? to think these two practically have your name on them pretty much all the time, even if save for the days they model for different brands? the paparazzi goes wild upon seeing the two in your innovation.

and sure, their measurements have been taken countless times for past items, but each and every one has to be to a T! they certainly don't complain about their schedules or any of the sort when being roped into another hour long measurements session. yea, they're used to being measured upon modeling for certain items, but never for the sole intent that they are the only ones privy to such privilege-- never for such earnest determination to fulfill their desires and tastes and give them something to remember whilst also having your own artistic ambitions brought to life by them!

urgk. they make me insane in the membrane. i remember i once didn't sleep or eat for 2 days because my magnetic autistic aura compelled me to watch every gothic haute couture runway ever without any break. when you combine the idea of that and a favorite character i go absolutely livid. they haunt my every waking thought and action PLEASE help

Hello dear anon! I’ve had a negative social battery recently so I’ve been easing back into interacting with the world, but this is quite literally the BEST way to reintroduce myself to society. So many things to unpack here, all of them sublimely inspiring. On the topic of paint fumes and communing with the divine- I have also been there ! I can definitely understand your drive to hand paint rather than stencil though, I’m the same way. And finishing a difficult design is SUCH an ego boost I completely agree.

And as for the RookVil poly, I agree !!! A designer who doesn’t really make a big deal out of their statuses would be fascinating! Like sure Yuu realizes they’ve just found their most glorious muses yet, and are in awe of RookVil for their dedication and commitment to the craft, but they don’t alienate RookVil as if they’re untouchable superstars from another planet yk? There’s a kind of comfort the three would find in working together- no one else seems to understand their intense devotion to their respective arts. Yuu can keep measuring, keep realigning, keep tweaking designs until it’s absolutely perfect, and the two models won’t mind at all. For Rook, he finds a deep joy in watching Yuu work so passionately. There’s so much love for their craft in everything they do, and he feels honored to witness it. For Vil, he admires their work ethic and just how critical they can be. It’s not often that he finds someone as particular as he is about their respective art. He loves knowing that Yuu takes it all seriously, not just in the name of their reputation, but because Yuu knows what kind of quality aloty they’re capable of producing. But that also means that the two will urge Yuu to have breaks, to eat and sleep and be a human outside of their studio (and since the two models also need to fulfill those basic needs, why not as the three of them?). They take care of one another- at a certain point in the relationship, it clearly became more personal than work related. None of them really know when it happened- but once Yuu finds themself in the lavish living room of RookVil’s home, the three watching some movie Rook had insisted on playing but instead talking and laughing about everything except what was on the screen, they realize just how far from the professional path the arrangement has strayed. I am also. Fucking insane about this.

And also! I really really get being immersed in an interest that deeply anon😭😭😭 I will say that keeping snacks in my room helps when I fall down those rabbitholes. Sleeping is something I also have trouble with when I’m being plagued by demons (autism) but snacks in room can help work around the eating portion at least for me ! <3

#asks !!#RookVil poly brain worms #twst #Vil posting ！(◎_◎;)#rookism <3

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 months

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Butterscotch Harlow

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, 2forwoyne, taylorrooks, blancahood, and 1,283,052 others

y/ninsta: A little while ago, I surprised smush with a puppy (even though he said no more pets). the two have finally warmed up to each other and all she does is terrorize him lmao

jackharlow: I like how you find my pain humorous smh urbanwyatt: I still can't believe yall literally have fourteen pets now lilnasx: urbanwyatt you mean fifteen, they have druski2funny druski2funny: what the actual fuck do yall be on for me to constantly get dragged like this?!?!? 2forwoyne: yall might as well open up your home and sell tickets because yall live in a damn zoo y/ninsta: all yall can kiss my ass because who is over here every damn week trying to get fed? not too much on my babies. blancahood: you have 3 real babies, pay them some attention y/ninsta: B, I have 5 children. how quickly you forget. jackharlow: who the hell is four and five?!?!? dualipa: jackharlow you and Urban urbanwyatt: NOW WHY AM I ALWAYS IN IT?! y/ninsta: dualipa you a real one for that softtcurse: urbanwyatt because your ass is always doing something smh jackharlow: dualipa and now here you come terrorizing me too smh dualipa: jackharlow I was nice about it but I can be mean. watch that tone. jackharlow: dualipa you better not start with me. I swear yall want me bald by 30. jackandy/naremyparents: I'm convinced that soon y/ninsta will find a way to buy an elephant. mark my words. urbandjack26: jackandy/naremyparents she probably already has one and just keeps it at the actual zoo in Louisville jackharlow: DO NOT GIVE HER ANY IDEAS y/ninsta: 👀👀👀 jackharlow: y/ninsta baby don't you dare y/ninsta: jackharlow BRB

Liked by y/ninsta, druski2funny, claybornharlow, urbanwyatt, maggieharlow, quiiso, jessicakelce, and 1,943,271 others

jackharlow: your shirt says mother so please come and get this puppy. I have not known peace since you bought her 😭

urbanwyatt: jackharlow let's be real for a second. you haven't known peace since you got married to y/ninsta taylorrooks: URBAN! TAKE IT BACK BEFORE SHE SEES IT! 2forwoyne: urbanwyatt not your wanting best friend to kick your ass jackharlow: urbanwyatt you just asking to die tonight aren't you? y/ninsta: I heard I've been summoned and urbanwyatt don't go to sleep tonight urbanwyatt: y/ninsta not my fault you terrorize my best friend! y/ninsta: urbanwyatt is this about me forgetting to make you spaghetti the other day? because right now your ass is acting outta pocket. don't let that mouth of yours get you hair cut off and weed stolen theestallion: Y/N PLEASEEEEEEE blancahood: y/ninsta if you steal it, save me some yungskylark: why when it's taco tuesday, someone in PG acts like they don't have no got damn sense smh shloob_: urbanwyatt my stomach is making whale mating calls. you better fix this shit so she feeds us. urbanwyatt: I SAID WHAT I SAID y/ninsta: urby, you asked for it smh jackharlow: like not too much on my baby now but urb actually claimed me as his best friend for once so I call this day a win y/ninsta: look at my pookie defending me and you were always the first best friend, he just loves me more jackharlow: 🙄🙄🙄

yungskylark: he need to defend my stomach from biting the rest of my insides quiiso: jackharlow IT'S NOT NO WIN WHEN WE'RE HUNGRY, TF? jackharlow: quiiso oh imma eat regardless. idc what happens to yall lmaoooo saweetie: jackharlow just nasty as hell as usual jackharlow: saweetie HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE?!?! saweetie: jackharlow for the billionth time, YES! jackharlow: saweetie just making sure lol

Liked by y/ninsta, saweetie, urbanwyatt, theestallion, privategarden, theshaderoom, neelamthadhani, and 3,281,937 others

jackharlow: you see what she does in my time of need? LEAVES ME 😭

But my wife a baddie 😍😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow you are so damn dramatic! I'm only going to be gone for two days! but love you smush. claybornharlow: oh, so the babies have to eat jack's cooking? maggieharlow come save your grandchildren! jackharlow: HEY! THEY'RE FINE! dualipa: I highly doubt that jackharlow: dualipa hop off the nearest cliff y/ninsta: I pumped enough and there's more in the freezer, along with formula and the baby food I made. they're good! jackharlow: umm y/ninsta...... I think I only have enough for a few more hours y/ninsta: WHAT blancahood: oh good lord smh jackharlow: y/ninsta axel is eating like he has never seen food in his entire life maggieharlow: smh jackharlow if you needed me, why didn't you call? jackharlow: maggieharlow I got it handled! claybornharlow: only thing jackharlow has a handle on is.... hmm.... I'm at a loss saweetie: clay, pleaseeeee lmao urbandjack26: chaos in the Harlow household lol neelamthadhani: and jackharlow has the nerve to want more children smh handle those three first! y/ninsta: jackharlow is a good daddy! but his way of doing things concerns me sometimes jackharlow: y/ninsta I know I'm a good daddy. to my triplets and my wife. y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm taking my compliment back smh

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, estgee, champagnepapi, zackbia, taylorrooks, and 1,928,036 others

y/ninsta: pleading for my damn help, and once I get home, this is what I see 🙄🙄

jackharlow: and that was the first decent amount of sleep that I got since you left y/ninsta: jackharlow I see little miss kept guard while you slept. I told you she loves you. jackandy/naremyparents: are yall gonna tell us her name now?!?!? jackharlow: jackandy/naremyparents I want to protect her privacy urbanwyatt: this man has officially lost it lmao saweetie: privacy? she literally pees and shits outside for the world to see jackharlow: not too much on my baby now! she still deserves privacy! claybornharlow: jack, she's a dog jackharlow: claybornharlow and? she's MY dog and what I say goes blancahood: that man don't know how to act now that he has his own pet quiiso: y/ninsta please get your husband lmao y/ninsta: quiiso he's a lost cause. I tried to come close to him while she was next to him and long story short, she is very territorial of him. she likes me, but he's her go to person. like sis, I was here first. show your mom some respect lmao urbanwyatt: not y/n finally having to compete for jack's heart y/ninsta: urbanwyatt he lowkey might divorce me to be able to have all of his attention on her jackharlow: I AM NOT THAT BAD neelamthadhani: jackharlow who lied to you? smh y/ninsta: jackharlow just tell everyone her name! jackharlow: y/ninsta no. that's her business and no one else's. jackandy/naremyparents: she probably doesn't even have one jackharlow: YES SHE DOES! If yall can guess it, I'll tell you saweetie: wait, what did yall end up deciding because it was down to two names urbandjack26: probably named her alcatraz y/ninsta: urbandjack26 over my dead body lmao allthingsy/n: hmm..... Louisville related? y/ninsta: allthingsy/n no for once lol jackandurbupdates: toffee y/ninsta: getting warmer jackandy/naremyparents: caramel? y/ninsta: getting closer! jackharlow: yall get on my nerves jackandurb26: BUTTERSCOTCH! BUTTERSCOTCH HARLOW! jackharlow: 😒😒😒😒😒 jackandurb26: well?!?!? jackharlow: I'm logging out y/ninsta: 😭😭😭😭

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow instagram au #instagram au #first lady of pg

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beaversatemygrandma · 10 months

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Many things here. There may be a life change. Idk when, but holy hell is it coming. It may be good.

Alright, so. The guy I've been talking to for a good while now. Basically a long distance relationship. Basically suddenly realizing I could have feelings for the guy who had a crush on me in high school. And the only one who was respectful about it and nowhere near annoying enough that I just try to get away from him immediately. He's soft. He's sweet. He did it the right way by connecting with me as a friend and getting into the things I was into. He did it RIGHT. Didn't just go in with intention of flirting and getting somewhere and failing because I literally had a boyfriend and Would Say That. But yeah. Him. The one who did it right back then but I was basically too shallow to really get into the idea that my type is a soft and sweet nerdy type. (Didn't want to be "The Nerd" back then, but honestly, tf was wrong with me?)

Anyways. Feels serious. Especially when there's straight up talk of moving in together. Like my mom is an agent of chaos and wants to quit her job without notice and go up to another state for a good couple weeks (I haven't got a call? Is she even going home??) and she was all "I'm selling the house NOW. Can't stand this place. We're getting a small house in TN and you're coming with me." And I'm just here like "???? I wanted to go HOME??? That's not HOME???" Well, I'm hoping she doesn't outright buy some random house within the next six months. Or at least has a good while of just being back home for a bit so I can get my bearing straight in town. BECAUSE this guy managed to get a one bedroom apartment. Sure sure, it's literally connected to his mom's house which is a huge repurposed warehouse in the middle of nowhere outside of town. BUT AN APARTMENT. FOR CHEAP. LIKE HUNDRED BUCKS A MONTH CHEAP. He keeps telling me how he wants me to have a landing pad if my mom decides to just leave my sister alone in the state at college. And me one so i can finally be back in a place I know with people I Know. AND THEN if my sister ends up needing a couch to crash on for a bit, she's got one. Hell, it's got the space to set up an air mattress in the living room. He showed me a walkthrough over a video call earlier. Like he's genuine about wanting me there.

So, what I'm hoping is that I can still have a proper landing pad with my mom. THEN making sure I can handle being with him for 24 hours straight in person. THEN meeting his family, seeing if his mom would allow that. (she seems open to having me over often. That's already been brought up. Hell, this is the woman who he told her about me and she flat out told him to marry me. I mean fuck. That's supportive.) And then, yeah, breaking it to my mom that i don't want to uproot myself and live in a new town out in the middle of nowhere. But instead out in the middle of nowhere about 10 miles from my hometown. I'm GREAT with that. I love those backroads out there and it's nowhere near the hellish areas of that town that are just Packed with tourist. Nah, these are the weird uncharted woods off the highway. I'm IN. There's a BALCONY. And a firepit out in the yard. It's down a dirt road in the woods. Very Green. Very close to nature. Other than the fact that he's got to clean out the entirety of the mess his sister left behind before she finished her "stepdad hunting" for her kid, it's right there and ready. It's a lot of sifting through literal garbage and ditched items. And deep cleaning. The place is wrecked. She did not leave that in a way that's livable.

Either way, it sounds great. I do think that I can deal with his shit for a long period of time. He's got that flirting type that's being purposely annoying. I do the same fucking thing. Literally not even a con here. The only thing i find annoying is when he'll overthink something and anxiously backtrack on it. So I have to tell him that he literally didn't make a mistake there and he's fine. Especially when he can't read my sarcastic annoyance over a phone call. Would probably be different in person tbh. Idk, I think I could genuinely date him. and live with him. He's a little childish at times but it's kind of charming. And I also can't say shit there with living in a pile of plushies at the tender age of 24. Can't say shit about him collecting lego sets lol I think I could do all that and not hate him after a year like my last roommate. He's very organized and kinda meticulous. Like, he'd be clean and easy to deal with in that sense. Ntm, if I'm this into him just talking to him this much. Shit, I'm already in deep, might as well.

And THEN. Because of his mom sending him referrals for a certain site, we know have income doing online work. Yeah, it took for fucking ever to get through these assessments and then hasn't paid the promised $50 for passing it yet after a week. And then having an issue where they saw my score and put me in a project that REQUIRED a DEGREE that I DON'T have. Like, thanks for telling me that I'm smart enough to be a college graduate I guess. But after that whole issue, i was booted from the project within 24 hours and today I got an email telling me my new one. So I fucked around for about 2 and a half hours. The training was literally like 15 minutes of reading. It's cut and dry and simple. And I was already doing the little tasks. Within that time I earned over $20. Just that already paid more than my job at Panera. Came to about 10 and some change an hour and that was just because I was getting used to the tasks themselves. So I could probably do more an hour than I was. Those things take maybe 10-15 minutes each and payout around $3 each. Paired with my quick typing, I might be able to make a living wage on this. At least enough money to essentially let me live on my own money until I'm there. And likely keep me up while I'm there. I might actually be fine. I might just have a plan going. I think I'll be okay. And it's actually thanks to this guy. All of it really.

#taks speaks #btw if anyone is interested i do have referral links to a good task site #it takes some time to get into but basically after making a certain amount on it we both get $150 which is great #mutuals/followers DM me if you're looking for some mindless online job #i'll tell you what i know #well not mindless. it does require a entry college level grasp on english and grammar

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ultimateheadcanontournament · 1 year

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Round One

Sniper

"LORD THIS IS SUPER SPECIFIC LMAO. OK FOR THOSE NOT IN THE TF2 COMMUNITY:

NOW, I CAN ADDRESS THE NON-TF2 AND TF2 COMMUNITY AS EQUALS:

Josuke Higashikata

No response given.

#round 1 #tournament poll #team fortress 2 #tf2 sniper #jojo's bizarre adventure #josuke higashitaka #jjba josuke #the longest response vs no response #unsanitary

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finsterhund · 1 year

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Baby beans update:

I now as of writing this have four confirmed scarlet runner plants. Got the fourth new sprout just today.

I had to prune a leaf off of my first and biggest and favourite because it got stuck to a pest trap on the window but it seems to be doing alright in spite of that. Has yet to start vining around supports despite me giving it one to try out already and attempting to coax it onto it. Maybe it's way too soon. I have multiple trellis styles for them to choose when they actually start wanting to anchor themselves.

Been on the hunt for plant rooting hormone with no success. I don't want to have to buy it off Amazon but looks like I might :( I want to get into propagating cuttings as it's more interesting to clone pieces of a plant than waiting for seeds to germinate (blame all the fucking parsley my roommate wanted me to grow for his rabbits. That shit is boring as fuck. Things still haven't sprouted. So much of my limited window space is dedicated to parsley. I can't wait until it sprouts so I can stick it on the patio and give sprouting real estate to something that doesn't go to hell and back before sprouting. Then when I finally get to go to a garden center I see they're selling already established parsley plants and for fucks sake... Oof... Should have just gotten one of those and tried to propagate it to grow it out more. I know for next time I guess)

I got a mysterious plant at the store. No clue what it is but my friends say elephant ear and I'm losing my mind at what are the chances!!! I hope it is because of that. No clue how to take care of it. The only words on it were the barcode that said "tropical" so I'm just winging it and hoping it likes what I do for it. Here's a photo if you think you can identify it

This mysterious plant looked sad and alone and fucked up like me so I rescued it. Repotted it and it seems to be doing okay considering I have no idea its care requirements.

My neighbor who's been super nice gave me random bulbs and seeds so I've got tulips I think. Roommate wanted to learn how to plant things so I let him plant one of the bulbs and it seems to be doing alright. Thinking about putting them on the patio in these little hanging planters I got from the dollar store. Not a flower man to be honest (blame my allergies and the fact that flowering can kill a potted Venus flytrap) so I'm less interested in having them in my room. But what I do like is daffodils. I associate them with my grade 3 teacher and I'm pretty sure the school planted a whole bunch of them in his memory so when I saw daffodils I had to get them. They're doing pretty good in a terracotta pot I got for them. I've been pruning off flowers and leaves when they dry out and it's been shooting up new ones.

I'm trying to propagate a blackberry cutting without rooting hormone and there's buds sprouting but no visible roots yet. Oof. I heard raw honey is a good rooting hormone alternative and I have raw honey so maybe I'll try.

I desperately want to propagate cuttings from beloved trees of my childhood. Since cuttings are clones it's like literally having part of that tree with me. But I'm so far away I can't collect cuttings. That's why I called my mom last night but she doesn't understand or know how to do it and didn't want to do it so that's a bust. Apparently willow is really easy to propagate and also really easy to make a bonsai tree so my immediate thing I will beeline to if I ever get to go back there is the beloved willow tree. Willow is so good at propagation you can make a steeped tea out of fresh willow growth and use it to propagate other plants! So if I ever get my hands on a clone of my beloved childhood willow tree I'll be doing that with the cuttings.

My mom might if I'm lucky passively try to get me acorns from one of my favourite childhood parks though so this is something at least.

Someday I want to do grafting!!?! Which is like propagating cuttings but more like a dark arcane abomination magic. It's where you take a branch or something from one plant and surgery it onto another plant. And it lives!!?? Yeah. Turns out that's how you grow fruit trees that don't suck. That's why my childhood attempts at apple trees never bore fruit (hahahahahahahaha look I made a funny) because especially with things like apples and avocados the seed you grow doesn't necessarily result in a tree that has those fruit. It's weird as fuck tbh. So you have to graft from a plant that does. Apparently there's possibilities for certain abominations. Aka different fruits on different trees. I think that's extremely cool but fucked up. kinda like if you got an organ transplant and it brought with it skills or talents or interests of the person the organ came from.

I want to get cuttings of the fruit trees from the Spot house also. So many places so many plants.

Mom also said there are oak trees in grandma's garden. More reason I want to go back there. What must the garden be like now? What survived? Hnnnn

I want to live in the farmhouse and restore the garden so bad. I'm more of a greenhouse guy so maybe I'd convert it into a greenhouse. Would be better in the long run for retaining moisture and overwintering.

Truly feel like I'm in my magic rock special powers era right now. Apparently I'm too focused on my plants and that I should be patient and that I'm expecting them to grow too quickly so hopefully the novelty will wear off to some extent so I can be more casual.

I'm looking for good full spectrum grow lights to use as bulbs for my main bedroom light. So far I've only found those weird purple grow lights. If I had sun emulation as my bedroom lights that'd mean I could grow plants anywhere in my bedroom and also it would probably help me. I just gotta make sure that having grow lights on all the time isn't carcinogenic, you know? I wish I could find one of those lightbulb splitters that's also a timer so it would switch from the grow bulbs to a normal bulb after a certain point. That would be the dream. Having my lighting situation automated without stupid smart bulb phone app stuff that dies after a year *glares at my previous setup*

Having bulbs that are enough for plants as the main light source of my room and being able to put plants everywhere would be nice I think. Imagining sunflowers and runner beans just all over the place. I'm having difficulty figuring out how to put hanging pots into my window but if I was able to grow plants anywhere I could just screw hooks from the ceiling and do that instead.

I wish I had so much more space. Like if I had an entire room dedicated to being a greenhouse. I want bonsai trees so much. Apparently the conditions I keep my bedroom make it more ideal for bonsai than people's homes which is neat. I also heard that if you plant a bonsai tree properly even after years it will grow into a normal healthy tree. So I could have bonsai of rare endangered or otherwise desirable trees and then upon my death they could be used in reforesting efforts. Or just put at my gravesite instead of a body.

It's sunny today. Happy because it's good for my plants.

#text post #cazza nose beans #long post

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sarahperfectgirlmichelle · 2 years

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completed 10/20/2022 @ 1:48 AM Mountain Standard Time UT/AZ border while listening to fucking Big Sky - Sleepy Clouds

I didn't tell her everything. She wouldn't let me. She didn't want to know. She's NOT fascinated with POWER She's fascinated with FLIRTING with power. I need her to know the reason for the soul tie.

Sarah. You know how you keep mistaking me for an infant. Because of my little girl voice and my innocence? Wake up baby. Because you are 12 year old me right now.

And I hate to tell you the ending of this story, but a beautiful innocent woman does indeed die. It very easily COULD HAVE been me, your not so humble narrator, during ROUND 1. At 12. But it wasn't. It was a random woman. A lesbian. A mother. An immigrant. Living in a garage. I never saw her face. I never knew her name. But I was right there at her door. Fucking around all over the attached home.

Lovely fucking metaphor there Michelle... Except it's not a metaphor.

You think I'm so goddamn boring, because I held onto my innocence all of this time? You're afraid that the truth about you is going to fuck me up? It doesn't. It won't.

You really should call me up.

so I could take you to all of those deep DARK places that you pretend that you want to go to. We could do it the talking way or the sexy way

But I have every answer you could possibly need.

And all of the answers I never asked to carry.

That's right babe.

You fell in love with the kid's other mom again. And now you're sleepwalking your way to someone's death.

iF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE ROPES. LET ME SHOW YOU THE ROPES.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT BRANDS OF HEAVEN AND HELL LIE AT THE END OF THE PATH.

yep. more veil. it feels so good to get rid of.

None of the players know any better. Everything is an accident of ignorance rather than malice. Everyone is just ignorant of what kind of ignorance caused the malice. Purity. Purity is the ignorance that causes the malice.

And it drives everyone:

MAD

We're all born knowing nothing. We're all thrust into a world full of rules and laws that we don't know anything about. We all stumble around. Just like you are right now. Real mature of you Lady. It's the running that causes harm. Because all you run into is a bunch of other runners. Running away from their shit instead of feeling their feelings and letting it go.

I remember crying on the bare twin mattress aloft the wood bed frame my father had built (for my sister, _no real ice cream_ for me right?). listening to Ben Folds Five. and deciding to run away.

I did run away. And I ran into another runner.. who ran into my Father (who was also running) and then he, the runner I ran into, ran an innocent's life (not me, but an actual non-problematic human) into their literal grave through torturous means just so he could be ran behind bars. A lot of runners hide behind bars. We hide in our bedrooms being cute as fuck.

You are the purest among the pure honey. And you think you are some kind of problem. Some crazy libertine. But you have never seen anything of the real world. Because you're so GOOD, and CAREFUL, and CONTROLLED.

And that's what gets people murdered.

iGNORANCE. mY Ignorance. nOW yOUR iGNORANCE.

You didn't really want a degree in how to sell _fake ice cream_

You just wanted REAL _MOTHERFUCKING_ ICE CREAM

You are the innocent. The pure one.

Not me. Not by a fucking long shot.

I gave you permission to be yourself and live your life. But I had no fucking right to do that. I did it from a place of love and wisdom and acceptance, but I had and have no idea what I was and am fucking with. Your innocence. Your purity. I don't know what the right thing is anymore than you do.

Do your homework. Walk. See if you can't learn some of those kids' secrets. PLAY NICE. Don't run into any other runners if you can help it.

AS ALWAYS, make sure you watch your back PuNk

Please Just Be a Better Mom than *I AM* While You're Out There With The Kids At The Park

*soul smiles*

couldn't love you more

you've got a beautiful taste

Just want to capture this feeling of waking up happy and pain free.

it may be 7 in the morning, all of the lights are on full white,

completely dark outside

and yeah, that's a depressing thought, scary even

my spiritual daughters are all down at the bus stop in the dark; alone for the next few months

but she's not really alone

i hope she knows that

i hope she feels that

what a terrible thing not to have

so much magic in pattern interruption

me thinks she's a believer

like seriously, the odds of her and I both conjuring up "as gay as possible" in our own ways, at the same time, without knowing exactly what the other was up to?

I won't forget that's for damn sure.

🅰︎ life -r

#Spotify #perfect girl evolution

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