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gureishi · 3 years

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dude okay so this is kinda specific and also probably not very original or anything ekdbsisj

but-

how do you think saeyoung would react/feel if (during the apartment days), his MC started crying (or almost) after that one (or maybe two? cant remember, and im only halfway through day 7 on the current playthroygh) time where he just... got really mad n yelled... hhh his expression was scary,,

getting yelled out is already a lil agitating for me... and I know i would be automatically already a lil sensitive cos i would be nervous from the last few days (rsd would nerf me) -- meaning i would be a lil more emotional/easily affected than usual ;;;

on top of that ive never had a guy yell at me djvdjdj so it would be a lil scary, i wont lie.

wanna clarify: the crying wouldn't be on purpose lol, i would definitely try n hide it. easier said then done though... OTL

jsvfsh this is so long n specific n kinda personal to me?? im sure im not alone regarding the general idea though. anyways jdbdjs sorry lolol-

and im jus asking for your thoughts or maybe HCs? whichever you feel works best!

also sorry if we've talked about this before i have a bad memory-

[417]

btw ur amazing love u

Love you too dear Four! And oh boy do I relate to this. I do not handle being yelled at well and would, without a doubt, cry multiple times in this scenario (/ω＼)

Saeyoung reacting to his MC crying in the apartment

He’s never felt like this before. He sort of thought he’d been through it all: wrung every last bit of love and fear and desperation out of himself till there was nothing left but the things that make him useful: his clever hands and his brilliant (weary) mind.

When you speak to him so tenderly—hovering just at the edge of his space, eyes full of something he can’t (won’t) identify—he feels like his heart is too big for his body, and he can’t think straight, or see straight, or make his miserable mind form the words he needs to say to you.

He’s angry because he can’t understand why you’re gazing at him that way, like you’d do anything to ease the pounding in his skull; he’s angry because none of his words are getting through to you, and he doesn’t know how to make you understand that he’s not the person he made you believe he was. And he is angry because he knows, without a doubt, that he’s in far too deep already, and that if anything were to happen to you now, his desperate heart would break for good.

He knows how to lie (it is, in his opinion, the only real skill he has)—so he does. He tells you he wishes you’d leave him alone—tells you to stay away—tells you he feels nothing for you at all. He raises his voice (but oh, as the stinging words tear from his throat his heart wants to crawl out of his skin and throw itself into your arms).

You say nothing. Good, he thinks; and he forces his attention back to his screen (eyes blurry, hands shaking). He hears the sound of your footsteps as you retreat to the farthest corner of the apartment, and something inside him seems to go with you—since the very first time he heard your voice, he thinks, a part of him is always with you. With every day that goes by, that part gets bigger: soon, there will be nothing left of him at all.

With his eyes trained on the screen (and most of his attention on you), he hears the tiny sounds you’re making: shifting, he thinks at first, getting comfortable. Maybe even going to sleep.

But no: you are so quiet only somebody with senses that have been heightened from years of training (years of hiding, and fleeing, and fighting for his life) would hear. But there’s a whimper—a vague, almost indistinct sniffling.

Oh no. Oh god.

Oh god oh god oh god.

Years of agency training have taught him to turn his back on people who are begging, or whining, or crying—but he’s never been any good at it.

And this is you: and his scrambled mind races, his heart drumming so loud against his ribs he is sure you can hear it. He would, he thinks wildly, do absolutely anything in the world to never hear you make such a miserable sound again.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he stands. The room spins; he’s weak, and hungry, and angry, and scared; his stomach is in knots and the darkened room seems to tilt sideways around him.

You don’t seem to have noticed that he’s moved; you’re hiding your face in your shirt, back turned to him—and you are still (so very still). He doesn’t remember how to breathe.

“Uh...” he says, and the sound echoes horribly in the dull, sparsely furnished room. You say nothing. He clears his throat, takes an unsteady step toward you. He’s not thinking rationally anymore—not thinking about scaring you off, or keeping you safe. All he wants is to see that look in your eyes again: that soft one, the one that makes his hands and feet feel too big and his skin seem to burn and his breath catch in his throat.

“Are, uh...are you okay?” he rasps. You’re still ignoring him, which is a first; your face is turned away, so he goes to your side, kneeling on the floor beside you. You sniffle. He feels like his heart is going to burst.

“Yeah,” you say—and unlike him, you are not such a good liar. Without meaning to, he reaches for you: finds his fingers (of their own accord) doing what they’ve been itching to do since the moment he first laid eyes on you. He touches your hair—brushing it off your face, tucking it behind you ear.

Your eyes, he thinks (fiercely, irrationally): he needs to see your eyes.

“Don’t believe you,” he says. With a sigh of exasperation, you turn to him: oh, and your eyes are blazing, red-rimmed. And he is the one who has done this to you—he is the monster who has made you suffer.

His mind seems to have driven itself into the ground. Suddenly, he can’t remember how to do anything at all.

But his body moves of its own accord, because his heart has always been eons ahead of his (brilliant and foolish) mind.

“Hey,” he finds himself murmuring, brushing your cheek with his rough fingertips (and he knows he shouldn’t, but now that he’s here, he is finding it almost impossible to resist). “I know,” he says, without even quite understanding what he means. “I know.”

You watch him; and there it is again—just for a moment, that softness deep in your eyes that sets him on fire.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words springing to his lips before his brain can get in his way. “I’m so, so...I didn’t mean to...I never...”

You shake your head, and your hair falls into your eyes again. He brushes it back, finding that there is nothing—nothing—in the world quite as wonderful as the feeling of your warm skin under his fingers.

“I get it,” you tell him. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I can’t...” He makes himself take a deep breath, and regrets it instantly as his senses are flooded by the warm, enticing scent of you. He feels you all around him now. “I didn’t mean it,” he says quietly. “Please. I can’t stand to see you making that face.”

You force a watery laugh, and the effort you are making for him is almost too much. His mind races. For a moment, he imagines how it would feel to wrap your small body in his arms—to press his lips to your temple and feel your heart beating against his skin.

“How’s this?” you say. You offer him a passable impression of a smile, and he wants to throw himself at your feet.

“Terrible,” he says. You laugh, and it sounds a tiny bit more believable this time. You are looking at him, and there it is again: that softening in your eyes that makes him think (just for a moment) that there could be a happy ending for him after all.

“I...” he starts. What? He can’t tell you how he feels—what he wants—what he is afraid of. Not here. Not now. Not yet. “Please,” he finds himself whispering. “Can you...just give me a little more time?”

You nod, and there is a strength in you that nearly knocks him off his feet.

“Yeah,” you say: and this time you sound like you mean it.

Against his will, he pushes himself up—makes his way back to his miserable little corner of the room. But he pauses—turns—and you are still waiting, still watching him. Of course you are.

“I’m gonna make it right,” he says, not quite meeting your eyes. Never, he thinks: he will never ever make you cry again.

“I believe you,” you say.

It is the first time anyone has ever told him this.

His heart shivers.

“I won’t let you down,” he says—promises. He means it with all his heart.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #707 #headcanons #asks #417 #fwends 🥺#<3 <3 <3

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chibimyumi · 4 years

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The Circus Arc

Last week somebody asked me what my favourite manga arc is, and without a second of hesitation I answered 🎪. As I have already publically declared my love, it is only natural for me to write a love letter to the Circus Arc.

Why do I consider the Circus Arc the best still after more than a decade?

I. The true story

First of all, the Circus Arc is in my opinion the first arc wherein we truly get to meet the characters, as well as the series itself.

A protagonist who is dispensable in their own story is not a true protagonist. As touched upon in this post, before the Circus Arc O!Ciel was actually little more than a plot device to show off Sebastian’s many assets. “The Watchdog has a case because the Queen said so, Sebastian solves it.” “The Watchdog was kidnapped because Yana TOLD us he made life for the mafia a bit hard, so Sebastian saves him.” When Sebas said to his master “you truly have no other talent except for getting yourself abducted,” it sure rang very true until that point. It wasn’t as much a story of O!Ciel’s revenge as it was Sebas saving the day because: demon powers.

In the Circus Arc however, we truly got an insight on why this little boy could indeed have made life for the mafia hard, and why after two years the Queen still hasn’t fired him. As discussed in the post mentioned before, almost as a compensation for his prior starfishhood, O!Ciel had insisted on doing the investigation himself, even at the cost of his own health. We saw him actively cooking up strategies as well as dealing with any situation as they were met. O!Ciel really displayed a commendable aptness at playing the cards he has been dealt in the Circus Arc. In contrast, while Sebas did make many accomplishments, all his actions were the undertaken because of O!Ciel’s orders. In the Circus Arc we truly got to see how the boy is the chess player, and demon the black knight.

II. Our protagonists - into the core

The Circus Arc is likewise the arc wherein we actually get to meet our two main characters outside their token function.

We have seen Sebastian’s establishment as “the pawn that can move across the entire chessboard in one single move”. But without O!Ciel’s input or any price that the master would have to pay, Sebastian is easily just an ‘instant-win card’, an ironic “deus” ex machina, if you will.

As discussed in this post and this post, in the Jack the Ripper Arc Sebastian was quite dissatisfied with his master and therefore decided to teach his master a lesson at the cost of more innocent lives. However nasty, it had been O!Ciel who ordered for a subpar move, and technically the pawn “did nothing wrong.”

In the Circus Arc O!Ciel became meticulous about decisions regarding his chess piece. Principally there was nothing wrong with the order O!Ciel had given his butler about releasing the snakes before the first stringers would return, and Sebas who was bound to perfect completion of any order also didn’t do anything wrong, technically. However, it had already been established that as long as Sebas sees the interest himself he would find any loophole in orders to still benefit his master in one way or another. As it is, considering how Sebas did decide to release the poisonous snakes while his master was in the danger zone, we are left with a chilling conclusion that Sebas simply ‘did not see the interest’ of shielding O!Ciel from danger. For the first time we truly learn the extent of Sebastian’s nondiscriminatory nastiness; how indeed all humans are the same to him. For the first time we truly understand that O!Ciel is paying with much more than his soul for Sebastian’s services. This demon is a double-edged sword, but much more than swinging outwards, this sword has a tendency to swing inwards the moment the wielder allows for any opening.

Previously discussed in this post, we also see the full extent of Sebastian’s manipulativeness and toxicity in the Circus Arc. Sure, in other arcs Sebas is also manipulative, but all of those actions could still be categorised under “merciless honesty”. In the Circus Arc however, O!Ciel objectively did nothing wrong to be triggered and exhausted from the Circus shenanigans, and yet Sebas was unnecessarily re-triggering and victim shaming his master for some extra “flavouring”. If there had been any doubt whether Sebas is bad for O!Ciel, then surely the Circus Arc put all doubts to rest.

For the first time in the manga we also see a genuine obstacle for Sebastian that is for not also the final hurdle to overcome, like in the Ripper, Curry, Campania or any other arc really. In the Manor Murder and Werewolf Arc there were of course Earl Grey and Wolfram respectively, but in those cases Sebas mostly tried to outrun the obstacles. In the Circus Arc however, William is likewise a supernatural being, and Sebas knew very well that he can’t just neutralise William without causing more trouble than good. Hence we saw how Sebas tried to negotiate with William, and we learned that even Sebastian cannot just avoid hurdles. Negotiating with William did not work of course, so the story forced Sebas to be creative. It truly was great to see Sebas use his brain rather than demon-muscles to overcome a problem for a change.

While getting “creative”, Sebas displayed his aptitude for preying on humans in our weakest of moments. As explained in this characterisation of Sebastian, Sebastian is not terrifying because he has super powers, but because he understands human weaknesses like no other and uses our own weaknesses against us. Click here for an analysis of Sebas’ cross-media manipulation of Beast.

In this same arc we likewise truly understand the looming threat O!Ciel is dealing with, an explicit revelation of the monster Sebastian is. This scene from underneath is the most explicit moment telling us that Sebas is not just dwelling on Earth comfortably; he is holding out under a cover. This scene almost served as an alarming reminder to us: “beware, the demon can snap”.

What about O!Ciel? In our boy we saw his tremendous dedication to his job. Except for purposes directly related to the investigation, never once did he order Sebastian to make life easier for him. He never made Sebas secure food for him or do any of the chores for him. Surely Earl Phantomhive would consider himself above wrestling for food or scrub some floors, and yet he was willing to just take on any task without complaining. In no other arc do we see just how effective O!Ciel is as the Watchdog exactly because he is so versatile both in playing the ‘cute little boy’ card as well as the ‘feared Watchdog’ card.

Doll was an exceptionally well chosen “obstacle” for O!Ciel (more about her later). When Doll briefly wondered about why a peasant boy like Smile would speak in flawless RP, we saw O!Ciel’s ability of thinking on his feet, giving a very logical explanation of: “I served in a Lord’s household where I learned to speak proper.” When Doll caught him red handed when he sneaked into Snake’s tent O!Ciel also immediately pulled the “I didn’t steal anything!” card, skillfully tying it into his previous story as ‘the page boy who was fired for stealing’. We learned that the Watchdog really is willing to carry out his job through any means necessary, not just ‘the cool and edgy means’.

One of the best ways to get to learn a person is judging from their gut reactions. When O!Ciel was triggered in the final showdown he no longer had any energy to put on a strong front or think about matters rationally. He was in emotional pain and his gut reaction was to want that pain gone.

Even Sebastian who would not directly benefit from the case being completed advised his master against burning down everything. Even with the Queen’s commission as leverage however, the boy still yelled to have everything reduced to ashes. In this moment we also understood just how traumatising everything was to O!Ciel personally. This trauma response didn’t come from nowhere; everything that happened up until that point had been a logical build-up towards this inevitable result.

III. The Side Characters

A story cannot be told with just the main characters; you need to care about the interactions they have with others too. In my opinion the Circus Arc has delivered the most memorable side characters that linger with us even after death. In particular Joker and Doll.

Joker is a very fun, charismatic character as well as a person with many different sides. He is lawfully inexcusable, but we cannot help but sympathise, or at least understand how he too is a victim compelled into evil. Rationally we reject Joker’s actions, but partially it is because we have the luxury to do so. “Is this self defense? Would we, or how would we have done anything differently had we been in his exact shoes?” is a question worth considering.

Doll too; we see a child who lived a relatively happy life in the recent past. In the anime they made it explicit that Doll was complicit in all the kidnappings of the children, but in the manga it is more ambiguous whether Doll is fully aware of Kelvin’s agenda. This gives the effect that with the revelation of Joker always having taken most of the bullets, we understand that the torment Joker has been suffering was the price he paid to buy his siblings a more-or-less normal life. If O!Ciel sold his soul to the devil in the literate sense, Joker did so in the figurative sense in exchange for his family’s happiness.

IV. The Antagonists?

We do not spend too much time with Baron Kelvin, and he is a relatively simple character. But that is not bad as long as the villain’s threat reaches us. The horrors of Kelvin have always been quite clear; when children are harmed it triggers a gut reaction of disgust in most viewers. But the kidnapped children were not the functional victims in this story, it is the first stringers with Joker in the centre.

Kelvin has made a bunch of crippled children fully dependent on him, and used their own dependency as a currency to satisfy his own greed. Never once did he allow these children to forget how he could easily return them to the gutter from where he collected them. The kidnapped children were just numbers in the newspaper, but the first stringers are characters we spent time with. We have seen their suffering and we know they are just trying to get by. So it is all the more heartbreaking that children who merely wanted their basic human rights were turned into the antagonists that had to be exterminated. In the showdown between Joker vs Watchdog, the dynamic is shifted from “heroes vs child-kidnapping villains” to “villain-protagonists vs anti-villains”.

The Circus Arc is very special in how the villain impacts the readers, because the people affected matter to us. In the earliest arcs we didn’t REALLY care about O!Ciel, but he was the main person who suffered from the villains. With Sebastian around however, we don’t really worry. In the Ripper, Mansion, Campania and Potter Arc the main victims are characters we don’t spend any time with, so emotionally we don’t really care whether “evil gets vanquished”. In the Werewolf Arc we do have Sieglinde and Wolfram, and it is heartbreaking to see Sieglinde discovering that all her happiness had been a big lie and that to even her own mother she was nothing but a tool. But in the very least she did grow up happily, she survived and has a fresh chance to start a new life, and the person closest to her (Wolfram) is still with her.

For the first stringers however... all had been meaningless, all is finite.

As expertly described by Sebas in the musical adaptation of the Circus Arc, humans are pathetic because we are merely “accumulating sins in the version of hell [we] have chosen to live.”

V. From foil to team members

The servants at the Phantomhive manor were originally just designed to be foil for Sebas to demonstrate his awesome butler skills. I don’t know whether they were liked at first, but for one I do know that many found them quite annoying or pointless too.

The Circus Arc is the first time we see the significance of the Phantomhive servants, that they’re not just there waiting to be fed by O!Ciel because... he’s a philanthropist of some sort? Yana had made some questionable decisions at first, and she clearly regretted those ‘choices’. I personally see the Circus Arc as her first demonstration of her skills as story writer, and her public proclamation of: “this is Kuroshitsuji’s potential!”

Had the entire series started with the Circus Arc, then surely the animated series would have gotten a much higher budget and a better time-slot for airing.

VI. Humour

The humour in the Circus Arc is also great, but nothing was shoehorned in there for the sake of laughs, neither do these moments disturb the tone of the story.

Everything was funny because they were the inevitable consequences of putting these people together. William had been established as a demon-racist plank, and when made to cooperate with a demon, of course he would say: “my hands will rot”. When called “four-eyes”, of course he would say: “it’s SUIT”.

Many of the comedic moments are centred around our protagonists’ inconveniences, but nobody is inconveniencing them for the sake of inconveniencing them. When Sebastian was not trying to leave the vicinity William mostly let him at peace. O!Ciel for example also couldn’t do many things simply because Doll was clinging to him. But she did not know what was at stake and her actions were well grounded in her immense desire to make new friends. “You are young, I am young. You lost an eye, I lost an eye. Let’s be FRIENDS!”

This is in stark contrast with how ‘funny inconveniences’ were staged before using Lizzie or Grell for example. Lizzie was a drag to O!Ciel because... she’s a girl who wanted everything to go HER way... and Grell was a drag to Sebas because she... is a girl who wanted everything to go HER way.

VII. Ending

The ending of the Circus Arc also carried a bitter-sweet tone that most other arcs do not present. The thematic of “demons dwell in the human nature of stepping on others” is perfectly addressed in the Circus Arc, but it does not end with: “so don’t be evil!”. The Circus Arc simply highlights the issue and reminds us that ‘stepping on others’ does not exist in a vacuum.

Had the objective of the series not been established as “boy who swore on revenge”, and instead be: "rethinking evil”, then the Circus Arc alone would have told the story sufficiently.

The finale of the Circus Arc resonates with its audience because the core principle on which Kuroshitsuji is built is a narrative humankind has always wanted to externalise, but without success: “demons are only as evil as humans allow their own evil to show”.

#Love letter to the Circus Arc #Circus Arc #Sebastian Michaelis #Ciel Phantomhive #O!Ciel #Our Ciel #Joker #Doll #Baron Kelvin #Analysis #Noah's Ark Circus #best arc ever imo

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satoruvt · 3 years

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fanfic writer tag game <3

helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol

ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33

peum ~

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!

3. how long have you been writing?

oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe

11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)

ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness

13. current number of wips?

fuck like somewhere around 20 probably

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest

15. a quote you like from a published story

im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:

“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”

It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.

(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)

It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”

He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”

“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.

next is from like there isn’t something missing <3

But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.

He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.

“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”

When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…

Well. It’s over.

and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!

“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”

You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.

“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.

He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.

16. a quote from an unpublished story

ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3

Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.

He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.

You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.

Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.

and the second one...

"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this

"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."

and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite

it makes you feel almost sad

"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles

17. space for you to say something to your readers

wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!

also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333

#wah these things r so fun. cries #tag games #adi speaks

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mewtwo24 · 4 years

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Lucifer I want to hold ur hand

So like...I wrote this eons ago before all the Belphie chapters happened, but I’m still really proud of it? It’s like shortly after Lucifer goes coco-nuts at the end of chapter...12? I think? I came into the game a little late, and then the story took off and this became more of an au given the context

Under a cut bc it is a l o n g boi, as per usual, a little shorter than 2000 words. This is purely fluff hurt/comfort, nothing too heavy or that requires warnings. The MC in this is named Joanna.

Enjoy!

“I don’t know if I’ll ever begin to understand...”

Lucifer’s voice was so quiet, she could only barely make out what he was saying. Her mind was still foggy, still struggling to think beyond the dull ache.

“I never know whether to be impressed by your audacity, or find it foolish. Are all humans like you?” There was a slight huff, something akin to a chuckle--though the prospect made her more sure she was dreaming. His voice was never that tender, and most certainly never so self-effacing. “Perhaps that was a foolish question.”

He didn’t specify whether that was because it was a good kind of obvious, or a bad kind. And she was too afraid to ask him to clarify--too certain his voice would disappear forever. The last time they had spoken he was beyond furious with her; it was the reason she was on what seemed to be some kind of medical bed. It couldn’t have been her room. Her room didn’t smell like bleach and sterilized dust.

“I know you’re awake, Joanna.”

Her eyes shot open to find him smiling deviously to her left, hand intercepting the forearm that had instinctively leapt to her defense. She was surprised to find that his grip was gentle; only enough to stop her from hurting either of them.

“That’s one way to say good evening,” he released her arm after checking to make sure her IV was undisturbed. “But I truly wouldn’t have you any other way. Your courage has always been captivating.”

She assessed him carefully--she wasn’t so delirious that she didn’t realize precisely who it was that landed her in what looked to be a human hospital. The throbbing in her head was no accident, and neither was the ache in her shoulders.

“I suppose I deserve that look.” His brows furrowed, “And I owe Belphegor much for deflecting the majority of my attack. Please, rest assured that I have no intention of directing violence towards you ever again. You have my word.” She could detect no slumbering threat in his gaze, no riddle in the firm line of his mouth. He was serious as serious could be--the most sober demon she had ever met. Her eyes widened when he bowed in that reverent way he always did in the company of the higher ranking demons, onyx hair cascading over his eyes.

“I imagine Diavolo has already expressed his disappointment.” She laughed when his lips pursed and his shoulders stiffened, a clear sign she was probably right. “I don’t see any need to make you feel worse. Though, I would like it if there could be fewer threats in our exchanges.”

When he straightened he remained ramrod tense, as if he wasn’t sure what to say next. He didn't like being indebted to people, and he liked failing even less.

And yet, despite everything, she didn’t want him to go. He was the first person to try to ease her worries in this realm--had given her enough information to protect herself, regardless of the situation's tenuous balance. As much as their final confrontation was about his struggle to let go of his haughtiness, it was also about the feelings they had been harboring for each other. She liked him--loved him, even--well aware of all the reasons she shouldn’t.

For all his attempts at guarded distance, he had offered her a great deal of freedom and care in this foreign realm. She knew he was trying, he had simply been a otherworldly being for a very long time; she imagined she had caused quite the uproar in defying him. But somebody had to. If there was one thing she’d learned in life, nothing good came of being entirely untouchable.

“Pull up a chair--that is, if I’m not keeping you from anything.”

Surprise flitted across his face, and it was a wonderful thing to see his honest reaction for a change. Was it because he felt safe with her, or because they were alone? She half-expected him to retreat in favor of making sure Diavolo’s requests weren’t neglected in the time he spent looking after her. For all his insistence of her lowly status, she was sure he felt a great deal of guilt and responsibility for the harm he’d inflicted.

Despite his considerable strength, he fumbled getting the chair to cross the distance to the bed. She withheld laughter behind a sympathetic smile. Was that a bit of color on his cheeks? He didn’t say anything for a while, eyes trained on the bed.

“Lucifer?” She reached out to touch his pale hand, surprised to find it cool to the touch. Had he been eating properly since the fallout? She hadn't realized what she'd done until after the fact--he had held her hand when she'd revealed she was scared what seemed like hours ago.

“You can’t love somebody and control them at the same time.” He eventually murmured, staring at the hand that was on top of his own. It was entire minutes later that his gaze rose, “I was only just beginning to understand what that meant when you first told me. And perhaps I still don’t understand--not the way humans do.”

Slowly, he raised her hand up to his lips, eyes never leaving hers. “Make a pact with me.” The warmth of his lips and the gentle cycle of his breath against her skin made heat gather in her cheeks. “I want to learn more about this human way of loving.”

“What makes you think I want to make a pact with you? I thought demons couldn’t change.”

She could see him wilt the slightest bit after a spark of indignation, his eyes averted as he lowered her hand. She couldn’t help teasing him a bit--after all the trouble he’d given her to confess his feelings, it was a small price. “For the longest time, it was what I believed. But now I see that it was short-sighted, and self-indulgent.” He sighed. “It was precisely the reason that Belphegor became so cross with me--and Satan, as well. I was so desperate to look after them, to make sure what happened to--" he shook his head. "...would never happen again. I stopped seeing things clearly.”

“And what makes you so sure fear won’t rule you again?” Her eyes were clear; not condemning, but vigilant. She was willing to give him a chance, but he needed to prove that he had learned something from all of this.

“I’m not.”

“Not?”

“I’m not at all certain. Demons are just as fallible--if not more so--as a result of their strength, their base extremity. I cannot promise that which I cannot foresee.”

When she began to withdraw her hand, his fingers tightened around hers before she could slip away. “But I intend to minimize that concern as much as I can. I imagine under your short leash, things will cease before they ever get to that point again.”

She relaxed when she found his carnelian eyes softly aglow, adoring as they landed on her. It was one thing to hope for such an outcome--it was another thing entirely to see it come to fruition.

"I'm stubborn."

"As am I."

"I'm a strict instructor."

This earned her a wicked smile. "I should hope so."

"...I'm also mortal, Lucifer."

"And I intend to make you deliriously happy for all the years you will grace this realm. So long as you permit it--it doesn't change a thing."

Her eyes were getting misty. "Are you sure you want somebody as nosy and forthright as me?"

Both of his hands covered hers and he leaned forward--so confident--and stopped a hairsbreadth from her lips.

"Do you want this, Joanna, as I do? All the good and bad that are to come with it?"

She hadn't been imagining things at all, passion burning in eyes that smoldered to a darker crimson. "More than anything," she breathed.

His lips found hers shortly after that, gossamer but enough to leave his taste tingling on the surface when he retreated. She had a hard time trying to describe it; she wasn't sure if it was the lingering concussion or the otherworldliness. He reminded her of sunlight in winter, a warmth that tingles and heats you to the very core, her toes curling. He also reminded her of the bonfires--evergreen fueled--that emitted a smoky, spicy aroma into the air. Even the hint of sweetness from roasting marshmallows was there.

"I am Lucifer, Avatar of Pride. I pledge myself to you, Joanna, that we may be bound by an unbreakable pact."

She felt the rush that always accompanied bonding to powerful demons, her entire body going rigid with the influx of magic. One of his hands rose to stroke her cheek, and she felt the flicker of their new connection echo from the depths of her bones.

“That was--”

“Disgusting, Lucifer, what the hell! Haven’t I told the lot of you before she’s my girl? Paws off!”

They both turned to see that Mammon had barged into the room without knocking or alerting anyone, as per usual. Asmodeus and Satan were following close behind with a tired look, though there were signs of delighted amusement in their gazes.

“It’s about time.”

“I’ll say--all that unresolved sexual tension was stressing me out!”

“I’m hungry, isn’t there a single place in the human realm that sells Devildom food, Joanna?”

“Can we hurry this up? I’ve got merch to pick up--they’re going to close soon!”

“Must the lot of you create an uproar everywhere we go--this is a human hospital, keep your voices down!” Lucifer snapped, scowling.

“Joaaaaaaannaaaaaaaa, how could you leave us alone with this grouch for three whole days--ow! What, did you want to put me in a hospital too!?”

She grimaced at the familiar crack with which a pair of gloved hands struck Mammon’s head. Through their pact she could feel the flickering simmer of remorse in the depths of Lucifer’s heart, and she relaxed back into the bed. He felt a lot more than he let on.

“Did the doctors tell you anything about my condition?”

“They were baffled in regards to your condition. We told them you, ah, fell down a staircase. They figured it was likely the product of head trauma, but they’ve been watching pretty closely…”

“I see,” she nodded towards Satan.

Lucifer rose from her bedside, not looking any of them directly in the eye. “I’ll see to it that they release you as soon as possible. I trust three days is an adequate recovery period.”

He strode out of the room, silence deafening. She counted to three in her head, wait for it…

“I can’t believe that weenie! We set everything up perfectly and this is how he confesses!”

“Joanna he was beside himself for days, are you part witch?”

“And he says I’m obsessed with Ruri-chan...”

Satan was the one to take a seat at the end of the bed as they chortled and jeered, shaking his head. “I know it may not seem like it, but we really were worried. We’re glad you came back to us.”

“Thanks Satan,” she smiled back easily, “Glad to be back.”

#obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me fic #can you tell i THORST #i love this demon man so much...#doing his best #i also blame the tangled tv show for making me have lucifer feels all over again #ready as ill ever be just makes me n y o o m emotionally #i hope yall enjoy if you decide to read!#the fandom seems p chill so it made me feel comfortable posting

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maltedroses · 4 years

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The Doctor is Here

This is a birthday present I made for my friend that ive decided to crosspost from Ao3

warnings: gore, mutilation, seriously if you don't like blood or any of that stuff look away move on this is your only warning.

He was sick, everybody was sick, and it was foolish of him to think he would be the exception. Hari always believed Kai would never use his quirk on him but he was wrong. The leather cut through his wrist the more he pulled the worse it would get.

Kai didn't even try to cure him, he simply just shaved his hair. Hari became something Kai could play and experiment on. It hurt him but he couldn't tell at what scale. By now all pain felt the same, his body was unable to tell the difference from a cut to a slap on the face. He just wanted it to end.

Clack

It was the devil he once called friend. As the door rattled tears began to fall, his body still aching from the last time Overhaul put him back together. That was the thing, his quirk, it didn't matter how many times Hari would break or bleed, Overhaul could simply put him back together as if nothing happened, or he could leave him unfinished. It was all a game to him. "I'm surprised you're up, get that look off your face- Oh you're crying how dull." Overhaul slightly lifted his chin, upon contact Hari shivered. "Hm, what's wrong Hari? I'm not going to hurt you~" that was a lie.

"You know I don't ask for anything other than for you to be cooperative. I even let you keep your quirk because we're friends." How? Friends don't lock each other in rooms and experiment on them for their sick entertainment in disguise of 'the greater good'. Hari couldn't even use his quirk without his hair growing back a little, so he was basically quirk less. "I'm here for your check up, can't have you dying on me now can we?" Fuck off, or at least mercy kill me. The popsicle stick entered Hari’s mouth, Overhaul put two fingers inside, feeling every corner and tooth. "Good boy. I'm feeling nice today so no surgeries will be performed today, unless you disobey me, got that?" Hari couldn't respond, after the first time Overhaul made sure to get rid of his vocal cords. His screams were horrible and nothing but pure fear and agony from his action. But it gave him great satisfaction knowing he was the last to hear Hari's voice even if it was a scream. Hari lied motionless with a monotone face.

He snorted chuckling a little "Of course you can't answer, but you know what's best for you. Right Hari Kurono?" Overhaul smiled caressing his face. Hari was repulsed, in the past he wished to receive his affection, but now the thought of him touching him made him wish for death.

Overhaul frowned seeing the expression on Hari’s face, "Don't you dare test my patience.." gripping Haris throat, cutting off the air from reaching his lungs. A short rush of adrenaline kicked in his body giving him enough strength to pull away from Overhaul but ultimately failing

He was done playing games he'd been too nice and now Hari was thinking he could get away with acting up. Overhaul took out a knife "Hari I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this, but you leave me no choice" he held Hari's hand who was desperately trying to get away.

"Don't worry Hari it won't hurt long, this is for your own good. it hurts me more than it hurts you" liar, please somebody get me out this hell, thought Hari as tears continued to fall down his face. "Besides I can always put you back together, my sweet Kurono Hari"

The blade against Hari who was shaking in fear. "Don't make this any more complicated than it has to be, now stop moving or I'll cut more than what's necessary". The incision was painfully slow, that's when Hari realized Overhaul wanted him to suffer, he was sawing not cutting

He opens his mouth wanting to scream but he couldn’t, he sat there defenseless doing nothing but cry and wish for death. “Hari I know it hurts, oh stop that please don’t cry” he sighs pausing for a quick second “fine I’ll give you a sedative just this once.” Hari didn’t know if this was good or bad. On one hand, he would be numb and not feel anything sparing him pain but that would only mean Overhaul would come up with more sadistic forms of torture.

"This won't hurt, it's nothing compared to what I could do to you” Hari truly doesn’t feel anything. He lies to himself that it's all a dream, soon he'll wake up and things would be normal again. But it wasn't, this was hell on earth, with overhaul death wasn't an escape, it was a door that would always lead to the same room.

He could still feel the knife sawing through his flesh, Hari found it ironic how he saw this as a form of mercy, what good was it for him to feel nothing if Overhaul was still acting with ill intent? "See? It wasn't that bad. Although I will say you're bleeding an awful lot.” he hummed bringing the blade up to his mouth. Chrono looked back at him in fear of what he was to do next. Overhaul looked at the blade as if to inspect it, admiring the way Hari's blood stained the blade.

"You know I've always wondered what you'd taste like" he tauntingly twirls the knife in his hand "suppose it's never too late to find out" he takes the knife and gives it a long lick around the edges. "You taste quite heavily, why don't we get some more" before Hari could even process what the brunette said Overhaul lunged at Hari's fingers, slicing them off with a clean cut.

Overhaul lowered himself to the stumps staring in awe as the blood gushed out. He grabbed the severed fingers and licked them "have I ever told you that you have nice fingers? Incredibly soft, I almost feel bad for cutting them off, but it's okay I'll fix you up real quick after I'm done with this."

Hari looked back at him disgusted and confused, this was out of the normal routine. Overhaul then stood up, severed fingers still in mouth and twirled. "Oh Kurono I really hope you won't mind but I just want to return the favor~" Overhaul grabbed the blade and slashed his tongue "Now we can both taste each other!" He smashed his lips against Hari's, swirling his tongue inside. “This is kinda gross but it feels so good, you’ve been a good boy so far Hari, maybe I should reward you, hows that sound? You want your voice back, maybe ill let you grow out your hair even if it’s just a little bit” he stopped briefly to caress his face “or perhaps you’ll like to go outside again, see the sun and not be in your room all day?”

Hari’s eyes lightened up with a faint shine of hope /outside?/ would Overhaul really grant him his freedom? Without thinking it much further he nodded.

“Oh so you want to go outside? Well” Overhaul resumed kissing his …’friend’ “that’s too bad because you belong here Hari”

His heart sank, along with a sharp pain in his abdomen. Blood.

“You truly are a fool Hari, always a loyal servant. Look at you now, trapped, lead by your own desire to be noticed.” he darky laughed “I’m not even going to bother fixing you up, let this be a lesson for letting your emotions get to you” he chuckled exiting the room and leaving Hari to bleed out.

Hari knew the devil was real, and that devil was Overhaul.

#chronohaul #overhaul x chronostasis #gore tw

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teenremus · 5 years

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meeting sirius black / asking you out would include...

a/n: idk why i’m having so much trouble writing lmao oopsies it’s been a hot minute. i’ve had 0 motivation for 0 reason anyway here u go request something pls :)

gryffindor!reader

- he had his eye on you since the sorting hat ceremony

- he thought you were. so cute. and you being placed in the same house was him was just all the better

- while he had had interest, he didn't see you much after that first day and forgot about you

- until fifth year

- you were in the same potions class

- of course, it had been a while

- it wasn't until the middle of first term when he recognized you

- after dicking around with remus in the back of the class, the two of them were separated

- and your usual partner, severus, had gotten replaced

- you didn’t really know severus, besides the snide comments you’d received from him on more than one occasion

- but you weren’t too ecstatic about sirius either

- you prepared yourself for the most excruciating annoyance for a lifetime

- but it wasn’t that bad ??? surprise surprise

- it took a moment for him to piece together where he knew you from

- but when he placed it, he smirked to himself, although you didn’t seem too keen on talking to him with your head in a textbook

- he found it uncomfortably silent

- “i’m sirius, love.”

- “y/n.” you didn’t look up

- “love sounds better.”

- you hated that you blushed, but you did

- you told yourself it was just some pickup line

- but he had genuine interest in you

- it showed every day

- he’d keep talking to you

- and you started to warm up to him more and more

- not only metaphorically, but physically

- his constant compliments made your stomach do jumping jacks

- remus sat behind you during all that time

- and was getting increasingly annoyed at the slow burn

- “you going to ask her out, mate, or are you sitting around waiting for someone else to?”

- “oh, piss off, moony”

- that made him nervous though

- and he started to notice the lingering gazes from some ravenclaw fellow in your class

- when he watched him graze your hand to reach a jar of dried bat wings, he was fed up he got jealous a little too easily

- when you came back with the jars of ingredients, he spoke immediately

- “what do you think about going out with me?”

- “pardon me?”

- “what would you think of you and me getting together?”

- “i think it would be nice”

- “good”

- “so are you asking me or not, wanker?”

- “well, yeah. i thought that was clear enough.”

slytherin!reader

- you knew who sirius was

- of course you knew who sirius was

- the blood trailer your house mates had shit talked into oblivion

- and while you weren't a believer that he was a blood traitor, you did believe he was complete and utter arse

- you'd been witness of him every day leaning against one of the doors to the great hall, with a different girl

- when quidditch season started up, you had joined the team

- and after an interaction on a training field, you had learned he was on his team as well

- it was a screaming match between your team captain and his

- you had to diffuse the situation

- “michael, come on, we still have time later. we don’t have a match for a few weeks. let it go.”

- you quite literally had to pull him away

- you made eye contact with sirius and james as you turned him away, and did your best to ignore the arrogant smirks that blanketed their thankfulness

- you saw him up close again at the match against gryffindor, standing across from each other and not breaking eye contact as the ref read out the rules

- once in the air, the game had been going swimmingly

- gryffindor - 7, slytherin - 10

- the game had traveled up farther in the sky with each point gained, the crowd could barely see you anymore with the amount of clouds

- it was a struggle in getting the quaffle

- “woah! guys, look out!” someone screamed

- you stopped your broom in its place and looked to see that everyone else had done the same, and you wondered what was going on

- you looked up, and saw somebody falling

- “holy shit, that’s sirius!” it was another gryffindor you couldn’t place

- no one was making any moves to save him, some continuing on with the game and snatching quaffles again— he kept falling

- “ah, bloody hell”

- you dropped the quaffle that had been tucked under your arm and quickened your broom’s pace as you dove down to catch him

- he was just beneath your grasp, your fingers barely touching his uniform

- when you finally got ahold of the fabric, he almost pulled you down with him

- you moved your grip to his forearm instead, and stopped your broom from diving down any further, or in just a few seconds you’d end up hitting the ground

- you were sure he’d be passed out

- but apparently not

- he brushed his hair out of his face with his free hand, then held onto the broom as he looked up

- “seems ive fallen for you, y/n.”

- “that is,,, absurdly lame, sirius.”

ravenclaw!reader

- it was through detention, of course

- you’d never noticed him because you’d been sleeping

- but he knew you

- or at least, he knew of you

- he thought you were so beautiful and he truly wondered how you kept getting into detention like this

- but he wasn’t complaining

- he rarely saw you outside of whatever classroom confined the two of you, so he knew what you were doing wasn’t as much of a spectacle as his pranks were

- could’ve been cheating, he considered

- but you were a ravenclaw, he figured it was doubtful

- sirius has never spoken a word to you, by the time he had reached detention each day you were already asleep. when it was time to leave, you were one of the first to escape

- until detention was held by professor binns

- he took wands, homework, any sources of happiness or busy work for the students to do

- including sleeping

- he wanted you to suffer in boring, magic-less silence with nothing to do but stare at the walls

- sirius was not having it

- when he got bored, he got really annoying

- he just kept asking questions

- “what’s the capital of the moon?”

- “do you reckon dumbledore keeps quills in his beard? as well as all the crumbs, of course.”

- it went on

- the continuous detentions was worth seeing you smile, even if it was beneath your hand

- you wondered if this was what you were missing out on all the times you slept

- when sirius wasn’t looking at you, you were looking at him, taking in his features

- he had almost caught you

- james definitely caught you

- but didn’t say anything, just winked in your direction to let you know he knew

- when james didn’t show up one day, sirius was alone

- or would have been, if he hadn’t sat down next to you

- “so, what’re you in for?”

- “would you believe me if i told you filch doesn’t like it when his office is broken into for fireworks?”

- he leaned back in his chair, almost impressed “hm. impressive............... but-“

- there was a long pause, and he pulled himself up again and rested his elbow on the table as he looked at you

- “i know a place you can get them for free. hogsmeade with me this weekend?”

- mcgonagall’s shushing broke the conversation

- silence again, just for a moment before she looked down at her desk

- “i’d love to.”

hufflepuff!reader

- he had run into you on the courtyard

- or rather, spotted you

- yelling unintelligibly at someone

- which is not what he expected from a hufflepuff

- a crowd was formed around you, occasional flinches as your wand waved around

- he weaseled his way through the crowd with his mates with a smile on his face, ready to spot some action

- he spotted the back of your head, arms flailing wildly as you yelled at an annoyed, but taken aback, severus snape over his continuous racist and arrogant comments about everyone and everything in the world

- which just made it even better

- sirius was losing his mind

- he had to hold onto james and remus as he laughed

- with an off insult saying "your nose is more inflated than your ego" and the accidental wave of your wand, a white spark had come out of it

- the rooting and howls of laugher had stopped all around the formed circle

- james, peter, remus and sirius has stopped as well and froze where they stood

- severus looked beyond your shoulder in shock and a smile crawled up his face

- you turned around quickly, mouth drawn open when you realized you had cast something

- a boy with dark hair was behind you, hands over his face

- when he pulled them away, his eyes were crossed in awe as he looked down at his nose

- it was twisting and turning, as it grew bigger and bigger and took up more of his face

- severus was laughing now

- “shut it” you said quickly, a short wave of your arm his lips were gone and replaced with nothing but skin

- his shouts were muffled and ignored

- “oh, my merlin. i am so, so sorry-“

- he started to laugh

- so hard he had to close his eyes

- his friends laughed with him

- “you’re laughing? you alright? that spell didn’t get to your head, did it?”

- he looked at your face for the first time

- oh, merlin, he didn’t expect you to be so pretty

- he was not ready

- this beautiful girl so worried and pampering him

- “is that your nose or are you just happy to see her, mate?” peter whispered, trying to hold back his laughter

- james was quick to speak when sirius couldn’t find his voice

- “oi! i think he deserves an escort to madame pomfrey, yeah?”

- “yeah, he’s not looking too well!” remus chimed in

- you began to walk him to the nurse, trying your hardest not to stare down the elephant on his face in the room

- “i’m y/n.”

- “i’m sirius.”

- his voice was more nasal than usual

- madame pomfrey was annoyed more than anything, but the trip lasted no more than a few minutes before his nose was back to normal

- you looked at him

- he was cuter without an absurdly large nose

- it was easier to see how the light caught in his eyes now

- “i’m so sorry-“

- “don’t worry about it, love. make it up to me with a trip to hogsmeade?”

- you were caught incredibly off guard

- “yes, i mean, yes. of course.”

#sirius black #sirius black headcanon #sirius black x reader #sirius black one shot #reader x marauders #marauders x reader #marauders era #harry potter imagine #reader x sirius black

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mrs-i-have-too-many-biases · 5 years

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A love like silk// Han Jisung pt3

Bad boy!Jisung

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: Silk, one of the softest fabrics on the planet. It’s breathable and comfortable. Just like how he was to you. He gave you space to breath. He always made sure you were okay. Yet why, do people say he’s bad to you? He gave you a love that’s soft and tender. A love that involves soft touches, tight hugs for comfort and sweet talk, smooth like silk.

Word count: 5,2k

Warnings: Terms of bullying, signs of depressed themes (if you look well).

“Is there something I can help you with?” Y/n asked confused as Jiyeon kept moving closer to her. She was about to say something until Yasmin interrupted, dragging Y/n away from her.

“What was that?” Yasmin asked her friend as they walked back outside. “I don’t know, she suddenly started to talk to me.” “Ever since you got into this school, you’ve been getting into trouble. Like first Jisung and his little friends and now the meanest and most popular girls are after you.” Yasmin groans. “Wait, what?” Y/n said. “Jiyeon is the most popular girl in our school, well at least she was.” “What happened?” “You came to our school.” Yasmin stated. “I don’t get it.” Y/n said in confusion.

The girls stopped walking and Yasmin explained to her, that ever since she got into this school, the boys were drooling over her instead over Jiyeon like they used to do. Yasmin also told her friend that Jiyeon has been trying for years to get close with Jisung and his friends since she clearly has a crush on Jisung.

“I still don’t get it. Boys like me?” “Y/n, seriously. Can’t you see how they look at you? Only Chan and his friends are not like that though, but every other guy in our school is basically fantasising about this exotic girl from Singapore, who speaks different languages.” “So, basically they like me, because I’m a foreigner.” Y/n laughs. “Yeah, pretty much. But, also since you’re so different from other girls. Like, you don’t always wear makeup and they seem to love that. You are comfortable with literally anybody, I guess boys are into that.” Yasmin laughs as well. “Speaking about boys, shall we return to Jisung and the others.” “I guess so.”

The girls were walking back, not noticing that Jiyeon was glaring at them from behind their backs. Her blood was boiling and she stormed off before anybody could catch her like this.

Jisung had been waiting impatiently for Y/n (and Yasmin) to return, he wanted to be around her as much as possible, but he didn’t know what he could do. After lunch break was over and most of his friends had gone back to the places they had to be at, he went to his class. Something he usually didn’t do, but Y/n got this vibe around her that made him wanted to do good things. He also almost told his friends about how he babysits Hyunsun every weekend, and that that’s why he can’t always hang out.

But, he quickly shook that off as soon as they left. Even though Jisung was in class, he wasn’t paying attention. And that was like him. His mind was once again settled on Y/n. He groaned loudly in frustration, confused by his feelings. Also catching the teacher’s attention.

“Just a sore throat sir.” He would reply. ‘In what way could I get her to like me- wait hold up.’ He said to himself. He stared outside in shock, seeing that she was having PE class at the moment. His mind was blurry, making it hard to think straight. ‘Do I really like her?’ He asks himself. He looked outside once again to see you goofing around with Yasmin as you played basketball.

Jisung was smiling to himself as he watched her through the window. ‘She’s different.’ He states clearly in his head.

‘She’s not like the girls here. They secretly wear makeup and are too shy to talk to guys, when they do want their attention. Y/n on the other hand, she just talks to everybody. Even the teachers seem to like her. She’s cool.’

Jisung smiled to himself once again, getting comfortable about the thought of falling in love with her. ‘If only the boys knew.’ Jisung chuckled to himself, till he reminded something.

Jiyeon.

“It’s Jiyeon, isn’t it?” Minho had asked. “Yeah sure.” He had answered without thinking.

‘Shit.’

Jisung groaned once again, realising the trouble he had begun. Because he knew Jiyeon could find out any moment. He didn’t really like her. Yes, she had a pretty face, but she wasn’t his type. Jisung shook it off and ran out of the classroom to find Y/n, because they had English together.

“Alright class take a seat. Today we’re going to do something different. First, I’ll be testing your vocabulary by asking you to translate the English word to Korean. Second, I’ll be setting you up in pairs for a presentation you’ll have to make and present.” The class groaned loudly at the thought of having to present in front of the class.

“Sir, that’s so old school though.” One of the students tried. “Well too bad then, I’m the teacher and I get to say what you do I the class.” “Can we at least-“ “I’ll be telling more about the presentation later, now first. A test on your English vocabulary.”

Jisung had claimed a seat next to you. He was staring at you whilst he laid his head on the table. Y/n took a glance to her right where Jisung was sitting and laughed. “Is somebody tired of babysitting Hyunnie?” She cooed playfully as she caressed and pinched his cheek teasingly.

Jisung’s heart had skipped a beat by the sudden touch of her fingers. “She is a handful.” He admitted making Y/n laugh before she focused on the class again.

“What is ‘매혹적인’ (maehogjeog-in).” The teacher asked, but the class was silent.

Y/n looked around carefully, before raising her hand carefully.

“Yes, Y/n.” “It means ‘fascinating’.” “That’s right.” The teacher smiled.

The class was surprised and kept on going. Jisung was surprised as well and poked her in her side to get her attention.

“May I ask you something?” He whispers. “Sure.” “Why didn’t you tell the boys about Hyunsun?” “Well, I thought you might wanted to seem ‘manly’ in front of them. And it’s also up to you to tell them. That’s why I backed you up. Why are you asking?” She asks. “Nothing special, I was just wondering-“ “Jisung what is ‘조심해’ (josimhae) in English?” The teacher interrupted.

Jisung stared at the teacher, not knowing the answer. The teacher sighed and looked around the class for somebody who did knew the answer. You raised your hand once again and the teacher let you answer.

“It means ‘be careful’.” You answered. “Very good Y/n, you have studied abroad right?” The teacher asked you in English. “Yes, I’ve studied and lived in multiple countries.” She replied in English as well. “Very well, where have you lived?” “I’ve lived in The Netherlands, France, Singapore and some other countries.” “Heckler.” One of the students said, Y/n quite down instantly. ‘Here we go again.’ she thought to herself.

The teacher eventually gave up on the vocabulary test and explained what the presentation was about.

“You can make it about anything, but everything has to be in English. You can make a movie, just a plain PowerPoint presentation, but everything has to be in English. You can tell me your topic when you have one, I’ll give you guys until the end of the week. Now, the partners. Jisung with Y/n-“ A loud ‘what’ was screamed through the class, everybody looked around to find out it was Jiyeon.

Jisung was smirking, happy that he now had an excuse to be around her. Y/n smiled at him, making him go almost lovesick. Jiyeon on the other hand was ready to throw some hands. She went to the teacher to ask if she could change partners with Y/n, since ‘Y/n didn’t know anybody, so it wouldn’t matter.’ She had told him, but he didn’t give in, which made her whine in annoyance.

When school was over Y/n was asking herself what she was going to do today. When she was about to walk off she was turned around with a tug by Jisung. “Hello there sweet cheeks, seems like we’re partners.” He smirked subtly.

“That’s right. Do you have time today? Maybe we can brainstorm for a topic?” She suggested, making him smile. “I’ll have to cancel the boys, but they’ll be fine with it.” Jisung says as he took out his phone. She was about to protest, but he was already done texting them before she even could.

“Your place or mine?” He asked as they started walking. “I think we can work at my place, my parents are at work.” She says, without thinking about how that would sound aloud. Jisung laughed, telling her that it might be too soon for that. “N-no, I didn’t mean it like that!” She panics. “I know sweet cheeks, I’m just teasing.” Jisung winked before you kept on walking.

For some reason was Y/n nervous to have a boy in her house. Jisung gasped when he walked into your place, shocked by how big it was. “What do your parents even do for a living?” He yelled as he got overwhelmed by the size of your living room. “Well, they are both CEO’s of an international company, that’s why we’re abroad so much.” Y/n explained casually as she poured some drinks for Jisung and herself.

“You can sit down Jisung-“ She started “Are you sure? It looks expensive.” He jokes. “Shut up and just sit.” She took her laptop and started typing away.

They sat in silent for a while as they tried to come up with an idea.

“You know, I don’t even know you that well. I don’t know what you’d like to make a presentation about, if I don’t know you. So, how about we get to know each other a little more.” Jisung suggested as he leaned back on the couch. “Sure. What do you want to know?” She asked before she took a sip of her Fanta. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Jisung asked, making her spit out her drink almost. “What does that have to do with our presentation?” “You might like romance things, like Romeo and Juliet or romantic music, like love songs. I don’t know.” Jisung tried to cover up.

‘Nice job Jisung.’

“I do like romance, but no. I do not have a boyfriend. But, what do you think about music?” Y/n suggests. “That sounds great. We can compose a song together.” He said without a thought. “Calm down pretty boy, I can’t write music. I do play instrument, but I can’t compose.” “But I can.” Jisung admitted shyly, making her look at him in shock. “Really?” She asked surprised. “Yeah.” “That’s so cool! Is that what you do with Minho, Woojin and the others?” “H-how do you know, did they tell you? We never tell anybody about this kind of stuff.” He stuttered. “No, I just figured. That’s so cool Jisung! Can I hear something you made?” She asked him excitedly.

Nobody had ever been so excited about his music before besides the guys, not even his own parents. And it shocked him. It felt nice thought, having somebody like that.

“I-I don’t have anything on me right now, m-maybe you can come along with me when we’ll compose something?” He stammered. “Really? That would be so cool! I would love that!” Y/n clapped her hands in excitement, making Jisung chuckle at her cuteness. “Cute.” He mumbled under his breath. “What?” “What?”

After an hour or two the two of them were done with homework and decided to get something to eat. “Can’t your chef make something for us?” Jisung had joked as he saw the size of her kitchen. Y/n laughed before she pushed him outside, because she was hungry.

They found a pizza place and decided to eat there. They ordered a big cheese pizza and shared it together. And for some reason, the two ended up making each other cringe with lame pickup lines.

“Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute.” He says as he smirked at you. “I would take you to the movies but they don’t allow snacks.” You shot back. “Was your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” He told her, making her giggle. “I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?” He started once again. “Jisung, first of all, I live in a house. And you know the directions to it.” “Guess it worked then.” He laughed making her shake her head in disbelief. ‘This boy I swear to God.’ She thought. “Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Why? Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.” You smiled sweetly as Jisung started laughing loudly, congratulating you as he gave up on the contest. “Thank you. Thank you!” She said dramatically as she bowed.

After sitting at the booth, just talking together and having a good time. You two were suddenly interrupted by an familiar voice. “Jisung?” It was Chan.

“Oh hey!” She greeted cheerfully, still high from hers and Jisung’s laughing fit. Chan didn’t return the smile and stared at her without an expression on his face. “Chan what are you doing here?” Jisung asks as he looked up to his older friend. “I think I could ask you the same thing. I thought you had a study session.” Chan barked. The tension that hung in the air was taking Jisung and Y/n by surprise. “We did, we just came down here to get some food.” Y/n said. Chan just hummed before he looked at Jisung. “Seems like you only studied one another’s face.” Chan mumbled. Jisung sighed and Y/n sat uncomfortably.

Jisung excused him and Chan before he dragged him outside of Y/n’s sight. “What’s going on with you?” Jisung hissed. “What’s going on with me? I could ask you the same question. I understand that you have to cancel plans for school, since education is important. But, I don’t liked being lied to. Especially, when it’s about a girl. What happened to ‘bros before hoes’?” Chan snapped back. “Look, first of all she’s not just some girl, okay? We were actually working on our English project together. But, her parents weren’t home and we were hungry. So, we came down here.” Jisung explained. “Alright, that might be. But, just make sure she’s not getting into your head too much. We got attacked today by some random guys.” Chan admitted.

Jisung’s eyes widened asking Chan what happened. “I don’t know what happened. Some guys attacked us out of the blue. Jeongin got hurt and Seungmin has some bruises on his head. And not to make you feel guilty or anything, we kind of needed you today. This could’ve ended up really bad if our neighbour didn’t come in between us.” Jisung sighed and decided to do what was smart: he went to see if his friends were okay.

He quickly walked back to Y/n who was patiently waiting for him to return. She flashed him a smile, which disappeared quickly when she saw the worried expression on Jisung’s face. “What’s wrong Ji-“ “I’m sorry. I need to go right now. The boys need me. I’ll pay you back for the food tomorrow at school.” He said quickly. “Y-yeah sure. You don’t have to though. I ate most of it. But, you go it seems like it’s serious.” Y/n said worried shooing Jisung off.

Jisung ran off with Chan to wherever they needed to be. Y/n sighed in slight disappointment before she paid the bill.

The walk back home was boring, she liked being around Jisung. He made things fun. It then suddenly started to rain softly and Y/n felt her mood switch a little. She tried to focus on the nice day she had with Jisung as she walked back home.

When she had arrived she noticed an unfamiliar backpack laying on her couch, it was Jisung’s. She thought about calling him, but she texted him instead. Saying that she’ll return it to him at school tomorrow. She gathered all his stuff and packed the bag. She also noticed a shirt that was folded neatly inside his bag. It was a band T-shirt but she had never heard of them. ‘3Racha?’ Y/n thought to herself. ‘Like the sauce?’ She laughed to herself before she put it back.

The next day was Y/n waiting for Jisung in front of the school. Yasmin had given her friend weird looks, since she held two bags. “Are you running away from home?” Yasmin joked. Y/n laughed, before telling her friend that it wasn’t hers.

When Jisung had arrived, late as usual, he was surprised to see Y/n waiting for him. He thought she looked cute. She wore a baby blue long sleeved shirt that was quite too big for her, stuffed into her black ripped jeans as she looked around to kill time it seemed. Jisung noticed his bag that was in his bag and remembered that his shirt was in it. He hoped she didn’t see it, she might be asking questions about it.

“Hello there sweet cheeks.” “Hey ‘Sungie! I have your bag.” She chirped as she handed the bag over. “Aren’t you late for your class?” Jisung asked. “I could ask you the same thing.” Y/n laughed. “Were you able to handle your business with Chan and the others?” Jisung jumped in surprise when she asked him. “Did you hear?” Jisung asked carefully. “No, but I saw that you were worried, so I assumed it was about your friends.” “It was actually. Somebody fought the boys and they got hurt, so I went to check up on them.”

“Oh my- are they alright?” Y/n asked, now she was also worried. “Yes, but Jeongin’s injuries are the worst out of all of them. He broke his left wrist and he has a lot of bruises on his head. They apparently knew he was the youngest and also quite vulnerable, so they attacked him first.” “That’s awful.” Y/n said, before they walked into their classroom. Apparently the teacher was late, so they were in luck, not having to go to detention.

The day went on quite smoothly, if you leave chemistry out of the story. Jisung thought it would be smart to turn the gas of the flame as high as possible, almost burning his eyebrows off as he hung above it. Y/n screeched loudly when it happened, clinging onto him as she was worried that he got hurt. Jisung on the other hand was laughing his ass off. Y/n would hit him whilst whining that it wasn’t funny. “You’re cute when you’re worried about me Sweet cheeks.” Jisung winked making her blush harshly.

Jisung was standing against the lockers as Y/n was gathering the books she needed. Jisung looked around and saw his friends walking past him, who didn’t even bother looking at him. Y/n noticed that it bothered Jisung. He hadn’t talked to his friends all day and when they had lunch he sat with her and Yasmin.

“Jisung, are you sure you’re alright? I noticed you’re acting a little different than usual.” Y/n wondered.

“They boys seemed quite mad. Especially Chan when he caught us at the restaurant. But, you shouldn’t worry about it sweetheart.” Jisung stood up and petted her head before he walked off to the toilet.

Y/n sat on her own as she waited for her friends to return. She was minding her business as she kept her attention on her phone, when suddenly a figure blocked the sun in front of her, making her look up. “Hello again outsider.” Jiyeon spat as she stood there with her friends in front of Y/n. “Can I help you Jiyeon?” “You actually can. I told you to stay away from Jisung you fucking witch.” “And as you can see, I don’t care about what you say. You can’t boss me around.” Y/n stood strong. She knew how girls like Jiyeon were like. They loved to look down to other people to make themselves feel better. They seemed to life off this kind of ‘power’ and Y/n couldn’t despise people like this more than anything.

“Listen up you brat. I don’t think you know how we work in this school. I don’t care how your other schools were like and what your status was. You don’t belong here. You’re just a nobody to us. You’ll never be on our level. Just let Jisung be. You’re not his type honey.” Jiyeon’s group of friends laughed behind her, but Y/n was not impressed. She just stared at Jiyeon with a smirk.

Words like this, coming from her wasn’t going to work on her. And Jisung noticed too. She turned crazy to be honest. Through the years she got used to them, she would consider herself immune. Jiyeon started pushing Y/n as she kept screaming filthy words in her face. The teachers seemed nowhere to be found and people were gathering around the scene, not even bothering on helping Y/n.

‘Five against one? Seems pretty unfair.’ Y/n thought to herself as she was pushed around.

“I honestly don’t know what makes you so stupid Y/n, but it sure it working.”

Before Y/n could say anything a thick substance was poured over he and thrown into her face. Y/n was now raging and attacked one of the girls by grabbing her by her hair. The girl screamed in pain and in disgust as the smoothie that was thrown on Y/n landed on her as well.

Meanwhile as Jisung walked out of the guys’ bathroom he heard people running around. He didn’t think much of it, as he was lost in a train of thoughts. ‘What if Y/n did see the shirt, would she have looked up the group? No, she wouldn’t, right? She’d look cute in it though- wait what.’ As he kept on walking his ears caught somebody saying that Y/n and Mina were fighting. Jisung ran along with the others. He saw the two girls fight and also a teacher who showed up to separate the two.

Jisung noticed that Y/n was covered in a pink substance and he walked up to her. The closer he got, the more visible Jiyeon’s smirk was. He knew she was the cause of this. The teacher was scolding the girls, but Jisung decided to take Y/n away from the scene before it would get any worse, not that that was possible though.

Jisung had dragged Y/n into the nurse’s office and helped her clean up. “Thanks ‘Sungie.” She whispered. As he dried her now-washed hair. “Your welcome. Wait here, I’ll get your something else to change into. Your shirt it all wet. I don’t want you to get sick.” He said in a serious manner before he ran off.

Before Y/n knew it, he had returned with a shirt. Y/n recognised it, it was the shirt that he left in his backpack. “Here, wear this.” He laid the folded shirt on her lap before he walked out once again so she could change this time.

Not much later she called him back inside and he had to contain himself from screaming. She looked absolutely adorably in his big shirt. It was a simple black shirt, long sleeved, and there was a logo on it that said ‘3Racha’. “Isn’t this yours ‘Sungie?” Y/n asked as Jisung was back in the room. “H-how do you know?” He stutters. “I saw it in your bag last night when you left your bag at my place.” “I didn’t know you saw it.” “Why? Is it special or something?” Y/n asks playfully. “Something like that.” Jisung admitted. “It’s a small group that I’m part of.” Jisung added shyly to Y/n’s surprise. “Really? I didn’t know you were a rapper!” “Nobody does, so please keep it down about it, alright?”

Y/n agreed without asking any further questions, except to herself. ‘If he’s a rapper. Why wouldn’t he want to be successful? What if he’s really good? I wonder what his voice would be like.’

When Y/n’s hair had dried up and she felt like walking back into school again, the day went on. Lots of boys asked her if she was alright and if she needed anything, she should call them. She didn’t of course. She was flattered and touched by their offer and took them politely, but she didn’t needed other boys’ help when she got Jisung right beside her.

Y/n felt fuzzy inside. The way he took care of her out of nowhere took her by surprise and it made her heart race. Never had anyone done something like that for her besides Yasmin. Y/n smiled as she walked next to Jisung, thankful that he sat down next to her that one day.

It was the second period break and Y/n sat alone at a table. She noticed Jisung’s friends, who still had been avoiding Jisung himself all day, they were staring at her. Or what their eyes made it belief, they stared at her chest. Y/n shifted uncomfortably as she continued to eat, until once again a figure stood in front of her.

Automatically assuming it was Jiyeon, Y/n was about to snap, but then she noticed that it was Woojin and Chan. “Sorry, I thought you were Jiyeon.” Y/n laughs slightly as she scratches the back of her head. “What about Jiyeon?” Woojin asks. “Just drama. Can I help you by the way? I saw you staring towards my direction-“ “Where did you get that shirt?” Chan asks bluntly. “I-I borrowed it from Jisung-“ “Where is he?” Chan cuts her off once again. “He has class right now, but he might be skipping- never mind he’s gone.” Y/n sighs as Chan had left in the middle of the conversation.

Woojin gave Y/n a small smile before sitting across from her. He looked around the canteen and noticed everybody looking her way. “They know.” Woojin states. “They know what?” “That you’re wearing Jisung’s shirt, I can see the jealousy on the girls’ faces.” Woojin laughs as he saw Jiyeon’s angry face.

Y/n was confused with Woojin’s statement until she took a look around herself, he was right. “This shirt, it’s your group right?” Y/n softly asks. Woojin looks at her in shock and as he opened his mouth, no words came out. “He told you?” He finally could make out. “Yeah, you guys have a music group right?” “Well, ‘3Racha’ is a group that Jisung, Chan and Changbin are part of. They are the rappers.” Woojin explains. “Did he tell you anything else perhaps?” Woojin wondered. “No, why?” “Nothing, just wondering.”

Meanwhile Woojin and Y/n were talking and having lunch, Chan was storming through the hallways to find Jisung. And just like Chan and Y/n had predicted, he was skipping class. Chan found the younger boy in the back of the library, taking a nap.

Chan roughly moves the arm of the younger boy, which his head was resting on, making his head fall onto the table. Jisung groans as he woke up. “What was that for- Chan?” “Why is she wearing our shirt?” “What-“ “Y/n, I just spoke to her and she’s wearing a ‘3Racha’ shirt.” Chan snapped at Jisung who was rubbing his eyes. “Oh, yeah. That’s my shirt.” “No shit Sherlock. But why is she wearing that. You know what name that name gave us.” Chan hisses. “You remember what happened that night. You were there. Years later we’ve been trying to clear our name. Do you know what this could do to us?” Chan ranted. “Alright, I get it. I’m sorry. Y/n got into a nasty fight and they poured their drinks on her and I gave her my shirt since she didn’t had anything else to wear with her.” Jisung explains. “Why couldn’t you get a clean shirt at the nurse’s office?”

“I-“

‘I thought she’d look better in my clothes.’

“I didn’t think about it.”

“I thought it was kind of sad you know, she looked quite helpless and everybody was surrounding her and not even helping her at all. So, I stepped in and dragged her out of there.” Jisung says as he received a glance that meant ‘disbelief’.

When they boys had walked back to the canteen, Y/n had already left to her class. Jisung decided to skip another period, since his friends were here. Chan eventually went to the toilet and Jisung was left behind with Woojin. Woojin analysed the younger boy’s actions. He noticed that Jisung was texting Y/n, what he could read were texts saying things like: ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Wanna meet up after school or something?’

Woojin smiled to himself and Jisung noticed. “It’s nothing.” Woojin tried to shrug it off when Jisung asked what’s wrong.

“’Sup guys!” A familiar voice yelled through the canteen. “Minho! What are you doing here?” “I was planning on setting Jisung and Jiyeon up.” Minho grins. “W-what?” Jisung chokes on his drink when he hears the sentence leaving Minho’s mouth. “Yeah, you told us you liked her, but it seems like you aren’t making any moves. So, I’m here to change that.” “What do you mean?” Jisung questioned. “Well, I spoke to Jiyeon and you two have a date. When? I don’t know. You can figure that one out yourself. You can thank me later. For now, I have to pee. I’ll be back.”

Woojin once again analysed Jisung’s actions and facial expressions and Woojin could conclude that Jisung didn’t wanted to go on a date with Jiyeon. That’s when Woojin figured it out. Jisung liked Y/n.

“You like Y/n, don’t you?” Woojin blurts out, making Jisung try to hush him in panic. “How do you know- I mean I don’t?” “Please, you gave her your shirt. I remember your last girlfriend. You wouldn’t even let he borrow her your scarf and she was freezing.” Woojin states. “It was mid spring time and she was sick. Besides, that was my favourite scarf I wasn’t searching for any germs at the time.” Jisung explained. “Your girlfriend before that one took one of your hoodies without asking and you flipped.” “That was my-“ “Let me guess, ‘favourite hoodie’? C’mon Jisung, I caught you, just admit it.” Woojin chuckles.

Jisung sighs as he let his head down in defeat, making Woojin laugh louder. “It’s too late though.” Jisung says softly. “What?” Jisung didn’t say anything but just nodded in Chan and Minho’s direction who were returning. “Why is it too late though?” Woojin asks quickly. Jisung showed Woojin a text, send around the time Y/n was still having lunch. It was from Jiyeon, claiming that were going on a date.

“Drama is about to start.” Jisung mumbles.

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sleek-mendes · 5 years

Text

Fratboy Luke! Pt 3

Warnings: Language, mention of alcohol

I don’t know how long I sat there. My mind was spinning and the alcohol swimming in my veins was not helping. A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts.

‘Katherine?’ Haley called softly, pushing the door open.

‘Hey.’ I whispered. Her eyes fell to my neck and she raised her eyebrow.

‘I saw him walk out, I figured you guys got into an argument but clearly you were up to something else.’ She laughed. I wasn’t in the mood to laugh. I wanted to cry, but it felt dramatic.

I knew what I was getting myself into. And my gut told me not to. But I did it anyways. It was my fault. I should’ve listened to my gut.

‘Okay you aren’t laughing or telling me to fuck off so what happened?’ Haley asks, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

‘Things were fine but then he just stopped and told me he couldn’t do this. Whatever that means. And then he left.’ I explain and Haley’s face falls from confusion to anger.

‘That little shit im gonna-‘

‘No. Haley don’t do anything. I just want to go home.’ I sigh, zipping up my jeans and trying my best to cover the hickey with my hair.

‘Ive had too much to drink but, I’ll ask Calum. He hasn’t been drinking for the last hour.’ She explains and I nod. Haley takes my hand and leads us both out of the bathroom and down the long hallway back outside where Calum stands with Michael.

‘Hey, could you take us home? I’m really drunk. But i’ll come get my car in the morning.’ Haley asks and Calum nods, looking towards me.

‘You good?’ He asks.

‘I’m fine. Please just take me home.’

He opens his mouth to say something but Haley shakes her head and he quickly closes it.

‘Let’s go then.’ He purses his lips, eyeing me carefully before leading the way to his car.

‘Katherine, wait!’ I heard Lukes voice getting close but i shook my head and continued walking, Haley’s grip on my hand tightening.

Luke’s hand wrapped around my arm and my movements halted.

‘Don’t fucking touch me.’ I berated, ripping my arm from his grasp.

‘Please just let me talk to you!’ He begged.

‘No. Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.’ I yelled, a few heads turning in our direction but I couldn’t even care if I wanted to. All i could see was red.

‘You don’t get it! I-‘

I laugh sarcastically at his comment and turn to face him fully.

‘No I get it. You won. You wanted to fuck around to prove you could do it? You win. Fuck you for making me think I might’ve been wrong about you.’ I say it calmer than I thought I would and turn away, rushing to meet Haley in the car.

‘Are you okay?’ I’m surprised it’s Calums voice that asks the question.

‘I’m fine.’ I answer shortly.

‘He’s had a fucked up love life. That’s why he acts like that.’ Calum explains quietly.

‘And the rest of us haven’t?’ I ask, raising my voice slightly.

‘No but.. nevermind. It’s not my business to tell’

Calums words remained in my head for the entire week. It made me wonder just what Luke has been through that makes him act like such an asshole.

I hadn’t seen Luke around at all. He’d avoided me successfully and i’d done the same. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little disappointed that he didn’t try at least one more time.

But that was also the problem wasn’t it?

I had turned him down, I made it hard to even be my friend, yet I STILL wanted him to run after me? I hadn’t been easy on him. Yet I excepted him to be easy on me.

It was getting harder and harder to convince myself that everything was working out the way it’s supposed to.

‘I’m leaving! Are you sure you don’t want to come?’ Haley announces as she walks into the living room, fixing her hoop earring.

‘I’m sure.’ I smile.

‘Alright well, i’ll miss you.’ She smiles waving goodbye before leaving to go to the small kickback Calum was having.

I knew enough to know that ‘small’ still meant Luke would be there. Plus partying on a Thursday night put a bitter taste in my mouth.

I would enjoy my Thursday night on the couch, take out and netflix on the tv.

Not even two hours later my phone lights up with Haley’s face, a sigh escaping my lips as I press the phone to my ear.

‘Haley i’m not coming!’

Haley giggles into the phone. ‘You’re so silly, I-I was actually calling to see if you could come get me?’ She’s clearly drunk as she stumbles her words.

‘Come get you? You’re not staying with Calum?’

‘No. Everybody’s still here and i’m really really... really tired. wanna come home yknow?’

I shake my head and laugh at her state.

‘Yeah Hal, i’m come get you. Be there in 15.’ I don’t let her answer as I hang up and stand from the couch, stretching out my limbs from the last two hours of being lazy.

I throw on a pair of leggings and some shoes before stepping in to the cool night air.

I knew I was gonna see Luke. There was no way Haley was gonna get all the way out to the car with ease and I had a feeling a drunk horny Calum wasn’t gonna be much help.

I pulled up to the frat house and let out a sigh before making my way to the door. I didn’t bother knocking because I knew they wouldn’t hear me. The music was blasting from Calums room so I made my way up the stairs, following the music.

I opened calums bedroom door and my eyes fell to the ground where Luke sat, a girl sitting on his lap, her lips attached to his neck.

His eyes met mine and a small smirk started to play on his lips as he saw my reaction.

‘Where’s Haley?’ I ask, looking around the room.

‘Bathroom. With Calum. Normally it’s curtesy to knock.’ He chuckled, the blonde girl pulling away from him to look at me.

‘Normally it’s curtesy to fuck in your own bedroom.’ I spit back, slamming the door as I stepped out of the bedroom, trying not to think about the image as I made my way to the bathroom which I could now hear Haley whining at Calum.

‘Katherine! I’m SO glad you’re here. Everybody’s getting horny and I feel like i’m part of an orgy.’ She giggles, leaning her head against the shower door.

‘She’s better now but I still think she’s gonna puke a couple more times.’ Calum explains and I nod softly and bend down to look at Haley.

‘Let’s go.’ I sigh holding out my hand for her to grab.

A pout falls on her lips as she puts her hand in mine.

‘Are you mad at me?’ She asks quietly.

‘Why would I be mad at you?’ I ask, helping her off the ground.

‘Because I knew Luke had a girl here and I still made you come get me.’ She hiccups.

Calum chuckles beside me and I send him a glare before focusing back on Haley.

‘No baby, i’m not mad at you. It’s not your fault he’s a tool.’ I smile as I pull her out of the bathroom only to be met with Luke’s cocky face.

‘So i’m a tool?’ He asks, crossing his arms across his chest as he smirks down at me.

‘Yes. Now if you’ll excuse me, i’m literally right in the middle of something.’

‘In the middle of me!’ Haley shouts loudly, putting her head on my shoulder. ‘Wait,’ she giggles. ‘Not like that. But fuck off Luke.’ I’m the one to chuckle this time as I step past him, pretty much carrying Haley down the stairs.

‘You couldn’t have avoided this forever!’ Luke shouts.

‘Avoided what? You? I could very easily never talk to you again. Don’t get it twisted , Hemmings.’ I scoff, Calum rushing down the stairs and lifts haley off of me, picking her up bridal style.

‘I’ll take her to your car.’ He says quietly, taking the keys out of my hand.

I nod and turn back to Luke who is now half way down the stairs.

‘Last time I checked, you were begging me to fuck you and I walked out. Don’t forget.’ He says lowly, stepping in my face.

‘Are you upset princess? That I let somebody else fuck me? Even after you wanted it so bad?’ He steps even closer, his hand falling on my hip as he pulled me against him.

‘Fuck you.’ I reply reaching my hands up to push him away from me but he grabs them before I can do so.

‘You already tried.’ He smirks.

‘You’re a piece of shit. Whatever the fuck- WHOEVER the fuck did what they did to you for you to be like this- you deserved every minute of it.’ I shout, pulling my hands from his and stepping backwards.

His eyes sadden at my words and I try to push away the guilt I feel for saying something I knew would hurt him.

‘Just... fuck you.’ I add before leaving the house.

‘Everything okay?’ Calum asks.

‘It’s fine. I’m fine. Thanks for your help. I have to go.’ I say quietly.

‘I’m sorry you had to see that.’ He sighs, clearly talking about the bedroom incident.

‘See what? Me and Luke were never a thing. We kissed one time. For a game.’ I lie, my voice getting louder than I intended.

‘Katherine... that fight last weekend had nothing to do with the game. I know what a face of Luke’s victims looks like.’

‘I’m NOT a victim. Don’t call me that. And it’s disgusting you all act okay with the way he treats people.’

‘Hey. He’s been through a lot. Like I said. I’ve seen him more broken than anybody. He has reasons. That’s not an excuse but... I know the real him.’. Calum explains, not letting me answer before he disappears up the driveway, leaving me confused & guilty once again.

I know it’s short i’m sorry :( if you want part 4 let me know! Thank you for all your feedback and patience with me. I love that people love it <3

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ghostofvixx · 5 years

Text

Bittersweet

Words: 3k

A/n: fluff to angst sorry:(. Ive been working on this for a long time pls give it love.

It only takes 8.2 seconds to fall for someone.

Jeonghan is way much more than a simple classmate, you know it. It began when he used to save your ass over and over again back in high school, since he was your seatmate. Not only he let you borrow his homework when you hadn't done them, but also became your counsellor when you were going through a rough time with your friends or couple. Somehow, he became something more than a classmate, but less than a friend since you never saw each other outside high school. You always told him how much you owed him because of his constant support, but he always said it was nothing, that he would reclaim his reward in a future, even though both of you knew that he was way too good to do that.

Once high school was over, you knew that in spite of living in Seoul, it would be hard to see each other, so you said goodbye after giving him your phone number.

“Remember, I owe you a lot Jeonghan, call me if you need a favour."Those were the last words you told him.

After a year of not knowing anything about him, the first thing that crosses your mind when you see his name through the screen is that the moment you thought that would never come is here, and that he may be going through something serious.

"Jeonghan?” You begin, your voice low since you’re still shocked by the sudden call.

“Hi Y/N, how's it going?” His voice remains as soothing as the first day.

“I’m good! What about you?”

“Well… I’m still alive and it’s all that matters.” You both laugh. “Y/N, I know it’s not nice to ask after not contacting you for a year, seriously, but I need a huge favour and you're the only one I could think of.”

“That’s fine! After all, I told you that. What can I help you with?”

“Well, a friend of mine needs to stay somewhere until he finds a place to live permanently. Because of my situation, I’m afraid I can't help him, but I thought you could? Just for three days, I promise.”

You know it would be crazy to tell him that you will, but it’s Jeonghan, he could ask you the weirdest thing ever and yet you will still believe in him.

“Sure, I owe it to you after all.”

“Thank you so much y/n, you’re still an angel.“ He says.

You both talk a little to catch up and then you text him your direction.

Jeonghan from school❤️ (3)

I know this may seem weird, but I promise you he’s a good person.

Have fun!

And please, don’t let him out.

“Let him out?” You read for yourself. “What kind of freak has Jeonghan sent to my house?”

When somebody knocks on your door three times, the first thing you do is to grab a bat which belonged to your older sister. Then, you open the door.

You feel your heart skipping a beat. A tall, handsome boy stands by the door. His black hair is a little long and pushed back, he is wearing a black shirt and jeans. The moment he sees you, he smiles awkwardly making you stare at him for a few seconds.

8.2 seconds both of you count in your head.

“Who are you and why I can’t let you out?“ You finally ask, all of the sudden.

“I’m Johnny, nice to meet you. And I’m afraid I can’t tell you, we should get inside first.“ He says, pushing you lightly and closing the door behind him.

You look at him terrified, thinking that you don’t trust Jeonghan anymore, and definitely not the boy in front of you.

“I know this is weird, so I’ll explain.” He takes a seat on your couch, patting the spot beside him. You just decide to sit on the other couch, as far as possible from him. “Fine, I’m a trainee, under… Well, It’s not very known, you don’t need to know the name.”

“Then what the hell does Jeonghan has to do with this? And why are you here?”

“Jeonghan is a trainee under that company too.” He comments, surprised that you don’t know about that. “And I’m here to begin a strike against my managers and my CEO.”

“So I’m keeping a criminal in my house, great, that’s great, that’s awesome. Now answer me, whose head I hit with this bat, yours or mine?”

“You’ll be fine y/n, nobody knows I’m here. Besides, Jeonghan has my back. He’ll pretend to be me at practise since our hair looks alike. Great plan, isn’t it? Sehun though about it so it will flop for sure, but it will keep my managers busy for a few hours.”

“Okay, fine, you just help yourself, I’ll be in my room, hitting myself against the wall till I fall asleep and then pretend all of this is just a dream.” You say, definitely not joking.

However, when he begins to laugh, you think he actually took it as one.

[7:30 a.m] Wednesday, day 1

The next day, when your alarm sound, you don’t immediately wake up, you just sit on your bed staring at the wall, wondering if that Johnny thing was real.

You snap back to reality when you hear something coming from your kitchen.

Yes, it was very real.

“Good morning y/n.” He says, as he put some waffles on a plate. “This is for you! You have to go to the grocery store though.”

You are taken aback, out of all the things you had expected to find, this wasn’t one of them.

“G-good morning, Johnny… Um… Yes, I guess I’ll do it.” You try to sound convinced, but you are still surprised so your affirmation sound more like a question.

“You have to go to college, right?” He asks, eating what is inside is plate.

“How do you know about that?” You ask, frowning.

“Jeonghan told me.”

“And how does Jeonghan know about that?”

“It’s called common sense, y/n.”

“Okay, you have a point.”

[17:00] Wednesday, day 1

You don’t know a lot of things about Johnny, you are actually too afraid to ask. However, this type of awkward silences makes you almost ask him something.

Almost.

You are on your right, isn’t it? But you aren’t sure of how you should begin the conversation. Luckily for you, he seems to notice you anxiousness.

“If you want to ask, just do it, I can’t blame you for it, can I?” You aren’t sure of what’s his facial expression like since you don’t want to look at him, but his voice sounds soft, almost cautious.

“Y-you said that you were running a strike, right?” He nods, so you continue. “But if you’re a trainee and do these type of things you can get fired.”

“I’m well aware of that, yes.”

“Then… Why?”

“I had to take the risk. I’m sure that to them I’m being careless and just looking for attention, but someone had to do it. They can’t treat us like shit and expect us to keep working hard.”

“And you think this will work?”

“I’m a hundred percent sure it won’t, I’ll probably be kicked out, but I like to think they can’t lose their most prepared trainee and future leader of their new boy group.”

The way he talks, the way his expression seems more serious and mature than when you first saw him, the way he seems worried about something when you simply assumed that he was careless.

Those are the things that make your cheeks feel warm when you realise about them.

“What about dating though?” You ask, innocently to change the subject.

“Oh y/n, I didn’t think you cared about that.” He teases as he winks at you.

“It’s- I mean I- I heard that- It’s not what I mean, let me ask something else.”

“I’m just joking Y/N.” He smiles, trying to calm you down. “We’re not allowed to have anything that involves a relationship or similar to that, if you know what I mean.”

You nod and stay quiet.

“So y/n, tell me, did you finally go grocery shopping?”

“Johnny what the hell.”

[23:30] Wednesday, day 1

Jeonghan from school ❤️(2)

Hi Y/N~

How’s everything going?

You smile when you see Jeonghan’s message, knowing who he was asking about.

You

You have a lot of explaining to do, young boy.

He’s sleeping in the couch.

Well, “sleeping”.

You are sure that Johnny isn’t sleeping at all. The conversation with Jeonghan goes by as both of you catch up with eachother. But then, there’s a moment when another message pops up.

That Johnny boy (3)

I hear you laughing from here lol.

What are you doing awake so late? You’re a baby.

Babies should be asleep.

You roll your eyes.

You

I’m catching up with someone, sorry lol.

That Johnny boy (3)

OOH!

With who? Someone special?

Your boyfriend maybe?🤭

You

It’s just Jeonghan lol.

Boyfriend? What are those?

And also did you just call me baby?

That Johnny boy (1)

You are one lol.

You talk to Johnny more than you would have expected.

[7:30 a.m] Thursday, day 2

In spite of knowing Johnny for such a short time, you actually feel comfortable with him. Some people would call it attraction, but you are sure that it would only be one sided and that he just has a natural flirty personality.

“Do you really have to go to college today?” Johnny asks you as he pouts.

“Why are you so sad?” You smile and take a sip of your coffee cup.

“I get bored when I’m here on my own, I can’t talk to anyone and I’m afraid of touching something because I may break it.”

“That’s ridiculous Johnny.”

“I know, but you’re the only one I can spend some time with.”

You don’t want to say that you spend the whole day with him watching TV shows and movies. If anyone asks, you’d say you just felt sick.

[22:00 p.m] Thursday, day 2.

“Uno.” He says, ignoring your puppy face.

“No! Why would you do this to me?” You complain.

“Okay, let’s play another one, I promise this time I’ll let you win.”

“Now I’m tired of playing, let’s do something else.”

“Oh, is the baby mad?” He asks, pinching your cheeks. You turn your face so he won’t notice the blush on your cheeks, but it’s no use, he does it anyways.

“You’re blushing? Aw that’s cute.” If only you had turned your head back and wouldn’t have stood up to leave, you would have seen his flustered face.

“What do we do now?” You ask from the kitchen.

“We should have dinner though”

“So late? No way.” He sighs and looks at the television, thinking. “And there’s no way I’m watching TV again, I’ve had enough for today and I have some homework to do today since I didn’t do any.”

“Come on! Let’s enjoy for today! Tomorrow’s my last day here.”

“Fine, but I’m not watching more television.”

[0:00 p.m] Friday, day 3

“The things I do for you.” You sigh as you cover your body with a blanket.

Johnny just giggles and changes the channel.

“Let’s look for a good film, again.”

“Don’t you get tired of watching television?”

“Shut up I’m enjoying.”

That somehow makes you feel sad, how much does he has to handle at the same time? And how brave can you be to risk it all, only to have a break and begin a strike?

Your heart begins to beat faster once again, just like all the times you get close to him and you sigh.

“You good there?” He asks.

You don’t know when you began to feel so close to him to even joke about things, after all you’ve known him for like a day and yet there you are.

“What will happen to you once you go back?” You ask out of the blue.

“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” He says, his typical smile still in his face.

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Afraid? God, I’m terrified.” He turns his head so he isn’t looking at you.

Your eyes make him feel like an opened book.

“Do you regret the strike, then?”

“Not a single second of it.”

And it happens so fast. You don’t know who got close to who, who crashed their lips against who or which one of you is thinking about the consequences.

Neither of you apparently.

But your lips meet. Sweet, innocently, nothing rushed or forced. Just as if it just had to happen.

[7:30 a.m] Friday, day 3.

Saying that you are shocked about what happened last night wouldn’t describe what you are actually feel.

“How the hell did that happen.” You think to yourself.

It’s not as if it was something awful, it was actually totally the opposite, and that’s what worries you. After all, he’s not a person you are used to see or you know completely, what the hell is happening?

But that’s not the thing you’re embarrassed about. It’s actually the fact that he was the one to stop the innocent kiss as he apologized. It’s the fact that once you realised what had happened, you had to run to your room since you weren’t able to even look at him.

It’s a mistake after all.

It’s more that confirmed when you wake up and Johnny isn’t there to cook breakfast.

[22:45] Friday, day 3.

You’ve been ignoring him all day. In fact, after coming back from college, you ate in your house at the same time as him, and the mood was so awkward, that you left to the library. You couldn’t stand it.

You’re back home right at 22:45.

When you come in, he’s sitting in the couch, playing with his phone.

“You’re back?”

“Yeah, finally.” You joke to make it less awkward.

“That’s good.”

You put your bag on the floor next to the couch, where you always leave it, and when you are about to make the way to your room to finally sleep, you hear some footsteps behind you. You’re about to ask when he pins you to the wall, not being harsh.

“I’m sorry, about last night. I didn’t wanted to end that like this.” He whispers, his face only a few centimetres away from yours.

“I get it, it was stupid, I’ll forget about that.”

“No, what I mean is that I really wanted to keep it going.” His face gets a little closer.

“Is that so?” You raise your eyebrows.

“I wanted to leave this afternoon, but I couldn’t, not without saying goodbye.” His words break your heart a little. “You know I shouldn’t be doing this, right?” He asks, his breath now mixing with yours.

“Then what are you going to do?”

“Not to overthink, like I did last night.”

He kisses you.

And then you kiss him.

Again.

And again.

[10:30] Saturday, last day.

You shouldn’t have done that, both of you know it. But in that moment, nothing mattered. All it mattered was the feeling, the way you felt so comfortable with him.

“I should probably get up.” He whispers from his side of bed.

“You probably should, yeah.” You try to laugh even though you knew what he really meant. “Does Jeonghan knows that you’re still here?”

“Yes, I talked to him last night after watching the film.”

“And…? Is it safe to come back?”

He shakes his head and chuckles.

“Absolutely not.”

“Then what are you going to do?” You ask, worried.

“I don’t want to take them for granted, so two things can happen. In the best of the cases I could lose my position as the leader, or probably won’t debut sometime close. In the worst of the cases, I could be directly kicked out.”

“Good luck, I guess. But mostly take care okay?”

“I will.” He chuckles.

After having breakfast, he picks up his bag, which was filled with all of his things -that weren’t a lot- and sighs while he looks around himself.

“It’s been good.” He mutters.

“Yes, it has.” You answer back.

You know you have to tell him something else, something witty so this isn’t that bitter, but you can’t.

Johnny heads to the door and you follow him. You open the door and he crosses it, but doesn’t leave immediately. He just looks at you.

“Thank you, you shouldn’t have done this for me, but I’m glad you did.” He says, sincerely.

“Actually, Jeonghan tricked me into this, but I’m glad he did, I could help after all, right?” You pause for a second. “Good luck Johnny, you deserve it. I hope I can see you on the TV as soon as possible.”

“Thank you.” He takes a bow. “Goodbye, Y/n.”

“Goodbye, Johnny.”

And then he turns around and begins to walk away, so you close the door, finishing what happened these last few days.

After all yes, you can fall for a person when you least expect it, and it only takes 8.2 seconds.

#nct 127 #nct 2018 #nct au #nct scenarios #nct Johnny #johnny seo #johnny au #seo youngho

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stillthewordgirl · 5 years

Text

LOT/CC fic: Somewhere on Your Road Tonight (ch. 14)

Sara and Leonard made a life for themselves, together in 1958, after the Waverider left them, Ray and Kendra behind. But now they're back on the ship, Mick has been twisted into Chronos, Kendra is pregnant, and Savage is still out there. They'll deal--together. (Sequel to "Chances Are.")

Second "Destiny" chapter. Pieces are coming together. Many thanks to LarielRomeniel for the beta.

Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Since Rip, Raymond and Mick seem like they might have the better chance at anything having to do with the ship and getting away from the Time Masters, Leonard takes the responsibility of getting Stein to the medbay. The older man is trying to move as best he can, but he’s clearly suffering, and Leonard can’t help a prickle of sympathy.

Once the professor is settled into one of the chair-bed things, with an IV of medication Gideon has prescribed to at least keep him more comfortable, Leonard hesitates, uncertain. He wants to go find Sara, but leaving Stein alone to contemplate his plight seems…well, cold, even to him.

“Anything help you other than getting the kid back?” he drawls uncomfortably, sidling toward the chair. The ship shakes a little as he does so.

Stein opens an eye and regards him with an expression that’s understanding and almost kind. It occurs to Leonard that while he may have been the one on this ship who’s changed the most, the professor has changed too. He’s a far cry from the arrogant man who’d scorned Leonard and Mick back on that rooftop in Central City.

“No, sadly, Mr. Snart,” he says with a sigh. “It’s just a matter of time, I fear. And now, with Captain Hunter’s revelations about the nature of our quest itself…it seems that it’s all been for nothing.” He shakes his head. “At least Jefferson is well out of it.”

Leonard wants, no, needs, to find out more about that himself, but while they’re still in the process of getting the hell outta Dodge, it seems best not to storm onto the bridge demanding answers. As the ship jolts again, he decides to sit down next to the other man. Stein watches him do so.

“Mr. Snart,” he asks after another moment, “may I ask you a question?”

The ship shakes, lurching. Leonard decides he’d rather be distracted. “Shoot.”

“Back in the beginning. When Captain Hunter invited us on this whole…adventure.” He stops, then continues again as Leonard continues to regard him. “Why did you decide to go?”

It is, truthfully, a good question. Leonard can remember how scornful he’d been of the whole thing, at least on the surface he’d presented to the others. And it seems like the least he can do is to offer the truth to the man before him, who, it seems, is all too likely to be giving his life on this mission.

After a moment’s thought, he starts to speak, carefully. “I’ll deny it if you tell the others,” he warns Stein, who rolls his eyes but also inclines his head. “But I do care about my city.”

“At least, insomuch as no one could hurt it but you, eh?” But the professor waves a hand when Leonard gives him a weary look. “I’m sorry. Carry on.”

After a minute, he does. “I did wonder if I could…” He thinks of Sara’s words back then. “…change my fate. Either by changing the past or, as it turns out, becoming…a rather different person.” He shrugs. “And I got even more of a chance for that than I’d expected.”

Stein tilts his head and offers up some of his occasional uncanny understanding. “Your time in 1958?”

“Yeah.” Leonard hesitates again. “Amazing what a clean slate can do.”

Stein’s closed his eyes again. “Hmm,” he muses. “I daresay Ms. Lance’s presence in your life didn’t hurt either. The love of a good woman…or rather, a good person…has saved many a lost soul. Clarissa…in some ways, I think she effectively saved me.” He sighs. “I hope I get to see her again. At this point, however, I rather doubt it.”

Leonard’s not sure what to do with that. “C’mon, professor. I thought cynicism was my hallmark.”

“As you’ve said, Mr. Snart, people change.” But Stein shakes his head. “Still. I suppose that there is always hope.” He smiles a little. “In a world with time travel, is not anything truly possible?”

“And in a world with burning, nuclear-powered heroes,” Leonard tells him seriously. “And speedsters. And…”

“…and where Captain Cold is a hero.”

Leonard frowns at the older man, but Stein just chuckles. “Don’t deny it,” he tells Leonard mock-seriously. “Your actions prove otherwise.”

“Eehhhh.” He decides not to argue. “You get back to 2016, professor, don’t tell Barry Allen and his ilk that.”

Stein chuckles, closing his eyes. “I do believe I shall have to try to survive this, Mr. Snart, just to collect on all these favors you’re going to be owing me.” He reopens one eye and regards Leonard. “Please tell the others that I will endeavor not to blow up while I’m here.”

Leonard feels his own lips twitch at the words. “Appreciate that, professor.”

“As well you should.”

Despite the others’ reassurances, Sara’s still relieved when Leonard finally ambles onto the bridge. He catches her eye and she catches his, and that’s enough for now.

“Professor's in the medbay,” he drawls, approaching the others. “Promises not to blow up while he's on board, which I thought was considerate.”

Rip sighs, moving toward the holotable. “Yeah, the professor's condition is the least of our worries, I'm afraid.”

That seems a bit callous, but as Sara frowns, Ray chimes in.

“Yeah, much to my chagrin, it turns out everything we've done, maybe even our whole lives,” he says woefully, “has been determined by the Time Masters.”

“What?” Sara asks incredulously, leaning forward. She glances at Leonard, who leans on a jump seat, eyes sweeping the room. He doesn’t look surprised. Instead, he wears an expression of intense concentration.

Granted, he’s been insisting for a while that the Time Masters are pulling their strings, but this…this is more than that. Those words--which no one is arguing with--suggest that it goes back farther and deeper, that…

No. No, Sara doesn’t want to think about that right now. As it is, her stomach is twisting, thinking about the choices she’s made and the places she’s been…the people she’s hurt…

She doesn’t look at Leonard now. She can’t.

“The Time Masters have this thing called the Oculus, which allows them not only to gaze into the future, but to engineer it,” Rip tells them resignedly. “Yes, Mr. Snart. As I said before, you were right.”

But Ray speaks again before Leonard can respond. “A future where I'm dead.” Sara’s heart goes out to him as he closes his eyes, swallowing. “Guy, you gotta get Kendra back. I mean, for her sake too, but Alex…”

“We won’t leave your kid without a family, Haircut,” Mick cuts in roughly. “No matter what.” He shrugs uncomfortably as everyone looks at him. “Don’t know that we’re what you and Bird Girl would want for uncles and aunt, but I s’pose we’re better than nothing. And, hey, Snart and I know what not to do, anyway.”

Ray looks like he’s going to cry, or hug somebody, but the captain speaks up again, shaking his head.

“This is a lovely moment,” he says, just a touch acerbically, “truly. But in my opinion, Dr. Palmer's death is not part of their plan.”

“Not reassuring,” Ray mutters, then “Ow!”

Mick, apparently deciding that enough sentiment was enough, had leaned over and whacked him in the arm. Then he turns challengingly to Rip.

“You sayin’ the Time Masters wanted me to do that?” he growls.

Rip gives him a long-suffering look. “What I'm saying is that they've been engineering our lives to move in very specific directions,” he says. “And we are playing out that script even now.”

The Gambit? The Pit? All the people she’s killed? Sara closes her eyes, then opens them, rising from the captain’s chair and moving toward them. Her eyes catch Leonard’s very briefly, and she can see similar thoughts there. Did the Time Masters make sure he’d be a criminal no matter what, with the perfect skills to do what they wanted on this mission? Did he ever have a choice? Did they create Lewis? Or Barry Allen to prod him down another road?

And what about them…

Before she speaks, though, he does.

“But they’re not controlling everything,” he says, staring at Rip. “And we can still surprise them.” They’re statements, not questions. “They didn’t know that I’d left the ship in Harmony Falls.” He glances at Mick. “We know the Time Masters didn’t know I’d been left behind too.”

Rip blinks, considering that, and Mick grunts thoughtfully in agreement.

“Yeah,” he says. “They told me just what to do. And things were all different from what they said.

Ray, looking a bit encouraged, nods. “So they didn’t have anything to do with what happened to any of us in 1958.”

Sara looks at Leonard, who’s looking steadily back at her. This is still disconcerting and awful, but at least…at least they have that.

“No. They can’t control thoughts, and they can’t control feelings,” Rip tells him, almost gently. “And…they’re not in there all the time, fiddling with every little detail.” He shakes his head. “It’s a rather jarring experience, the Oculus. It’d be like performing delicate surgery with a hacksaw.”

“So, it seems they sort of…set the program and let it run, with occasional course corrections.” Ray looks thoughtful.

Sara takes a deep breath. “Well, this is interesting…and encouraging in a few ways, anyway, for what that’s worth. But we still need to figure out what to do.” She puts her hands on the holotable, scanning the others. “So, we can go to 2016, but that might be what the Time Masters want. Or we can go get Kendra...”

“Which could also be what they want,” Leonard mutters.

“Then we need to do what they don't want,” Ray says, determination brightening his voice. “If the Oculus is what they're using to control us, then we need to destroy it.”

Sara nods, but…

“No,” Leonard cuts in, getting to his feet and approaching. “Or not just that, anyway.” He takes a deep breath as the others look at him. “Look. They’re expecting us to act according to our natures. Right? That’s the whole point. They did their best to create those natures.”

“Yes?” Ray looks inquiringly at Rip, then back at Leonard. “But…”

“And the Time Bastards just made sure to give their biggest rebel, a bunch of heroes—and me and Mick—the information that they control time.” Leonard tilts his head. “What do you think they think is going to happen?”

For some reason, as soon as he’s delivered those words, something in Leonard relaxes. Not entirely, but a little. Like he’s passed a test. Delivered a message.

It’s an odd sensation, but he decides not to examine it for the moment.

“I acted against my nature—what had been my nature—when I left the ship in Harmony Falls,” he says, looking at Sara. “And they didn’t expect it or plan for it. What, now, would they not expect us to do?”

Sara hums thoughtfully. Raymond shrugs. “Give up and go back home,” he points out. “But we can’t do that.”

“Well.” Rips frowns. “I do think that going back to the place we just escaped from would seem rather unexpected.”

Leonard snorts. “Not with this group,” he says. “Seriously, Rip?”

The captain gives him the ghost of a smile. “True, indeed, Mr. Snart. But we still need to get rid of this Oculus, if we’re to have any hope of truly changing things.”

Raymond’s looking off into the distance. “I’ve spent my whole life wanting to be a hero,” he says quietly. “A hero…a hero is brave. Helps others. Makes a difference. If I can do that, to make a better life for my son…”

“So, basically, the Time Bastards would expect you to do some shit like dying while trying to blow up the Oculus.” Leonard nods when the scientist gives him a startled glance. “So, you can’t do that. You’ve gotta be selfish, Raymond.” He glances at Rip. “Can you take him back to the Refuge?”

“No!” Raymond says, even as Rip considers and nods.

“And the rest of us, Mr. Snart?” he says with resignation, but also with a small smile on his face. “As you just might be onto something here?”

Leonard can appreciate what it’s cost the captain to say that…and maybe Rip’s arrogance was something the Time Masters were counting on too. He gives the other man an understanding smirk in return.

“The rest of us…” he says slowly. “What if we split up? Rip, they’ll figure you’ll go back to the Vanishing Point. It’s personal. You and…and Sara and maybe the professor, if he’s up for it…go after Kendra.”

“Wait a minute…” Sara starts as Rip lifts an eyebrow.

“And what are we going to use to do that?” he asks drily, spreading his hands out before him. “One ship.”

“The Pilgrim’s ship is still at that old outpost, right? Leonard looks around at Mick. “You hid it.”

His friend grunts thoughtfully. “Yeah. I could fly that. Good ship.”

“Great. Then, Mick and I will blow up the Oculus.” Leonard ignores the immediate arguments. “They won’t expect the criminals to be playing heroes.”

Mick nods. “And I like blowing stuff up.”

“You’re not…”

“Mr. Snart…”

“He’s got a point.” Raymond shrugs as everyone looks at him. “We can make it work. We’re Legends, right? But one change.” He holds up a hand. “I get your meaning, Snart, about going against what they expect. But…I won’t do any good to the mission if I’m back at the Refuge. I want to go with you.”

Leonard regards him a moment, then glances at the captain. “Rip,” he drawls. “What was the Boy Scout here doing? When…What did you see in this Oculus thing?”

Rip hesitates, thinking. “He was…” His eyes widen. “It was an explosion. How did I forget that?” He looks at Raymond. “You were working on something. And there was light…you started to come apart…”

“I think that’s enough,” Sara breaks in as Raymond winces. “Rip, even if we—or some of us—return to the Vanishing Point, can they mess with us there?”

The captain shakes his head. “No, Druce told me that the Oculus' ability to control our actions doesn't work in the Vanishing Point, most likely because the Vanishing Point itself exists outside of time.”

“And we need to move,” Leonard says firmly. “If you want to have any chance to save Kendra. And your family.”

Rip looks a bit wild-eyed, but Gideon cuts neatly in, her voice calm.

“I apologize, Captain,” she says, “but I’ve already diverted us toward the outpost. Mr. Snart’s plan is a good one, and I chose to…anticipate your orders.” She pauses as Rip collapses into a jump seat and Mick barks out a laugh. “May I also point out that you have always encouraged such independence, but…a time ship AI knows what it is to be controlled by the Time Masters. I wish to help, although they are not all like me.”

Rip rubs a hand over his face. “Ah, Gideon. No one is quite like you.”

“Thank you, Captain. I shall take that as a compliment.”

“OK, then,” Ray says firmly, turning for the corridors. “I’m going to go talk to Stein, figure out how we’ll need to destroy this Oculus wellspring. Rip, we’ll need what you know.”

The captain shakes his head but gets to his feet. “This is not how I envisioned this going at all,” he comments with a sigh, then smiles. “Which just may be precisely why it works.” He glances at Mick. “Mr. Rory. You have experience as a time ship captain—and a reputation as a sneaky and very effective one. Would you work with Gideon to plot a good intercept course for Savage?”

Mick shrugs, but Leonard thinks he almost looks pleased at the words and the request. “Sure.”

“Thank you.”

Leonard stands with Sara and Mick, watching as Rip and Raymond leave, then looks over at his friend. “You want help?” he drawls, folding his arms. “Might not know how to fly a time ship, but I know how to plan.”

Mick’s already deftly pulled some schematics up on the holotable. He glances over and snorts. “No,” he says, “I want you two to go get your shit together before we all trot off to hunt psychopaths or blow stuff up.” He looks back to the display. “So, get. I got this.”

“We got this,” Gideon announces. “Mr. Rory, please take a look at the path skirting Jurgens Ridge. I believe…”

She continues, and Leonard blinks at his old friend, then looks at Sara.

She gives him a slight smile and shrugs.

“OK, then,” he mutters, turning aside and heading for their room. “I know when I’m not needed.”

“Don’t whine, Mr. Snart,” Gideon tells him snippily, stopping her comments to Mick for a moment. “It’s not a becoming trait.”

Well, he thinks with resignation as he saunters for the door, at least the comment makes Sara laugh.

“I can’t believe we were just…dismissed…like that,” Sara says with faint amusement as they enter their quarters. She looks from side to side restlessly, then turns to face Leonard. “I mean, I know my skills lie mainly in hitting things until they stop moving, but…I would have liked to do something.”

Her words get a slight smile, although it’s a distracted one. “Got the feeling maybe we already did,” he drawls, leaning against the bed and watching her. “But…you OK?”

Sara laughs a little, knowing that the sound isn’t very sincere. “Well. I’m trying not to think about it too much,” she says, boosting herself up onto the bed and looking down at her hands. “I don’t know how profound the directions the Time Masters steered us in are, and I don’t think I want to know. I know I still feel responsible for everything I’ve done. And it still keeps me up at night.”

After a moment, she hears a sigh and glances over at Leonard. Her lover is staring off into the distance, a complicated expression on his face. It’s melancholy and uncertain, very unlike anything he shows the world, and something turns over in Sara’s heart as she watches him.

“Len,” she says quietly, putting a hand out and resting it on his shoulder, “what are you thinking?”

Leonard shrugs, after a moment, then looks at her.

“It wasn’t just a script,” he asks, a still, opaque expression on his face. “Was it?”

Oh.

Sara tightens her grip on his shoulder, pulling him toward her, and after a moment’s resistance, Leonard allows her to guide him. After a moment, he’s facing her, although his eyes are still darting around and not meeting hers. He exudes uneasiness and apprehension, and she can see and feel how stiff his shoulders are.

“I thought we agreed that the Time Masters didn’t even know we were there, in 1958,” she says. “When our relationship…changed. Or evolved. They weren’t pulling our strings.” She reaches up and rests a hand against his jawline, feeling the tension there. “And…Rip said, they can’t change feelings.” She takes a deep breath. “Everything we feel…it’s real.”

Finally, Leonard’s eyes meet hers, heartbreakingly wary.

“Yeah?” he asks quietly. “And what…” He pauses. “I’m not a good person, Sara. Not the sort you should…care for. I…”

Sara huffs out a breath. “Stop…listening…to Lewis,” she tells him sharply, shaking his shoulder a little, then feels guilty as he flinches. “He’s been dead for months, or longer depending on how you look at it. Stop giving his voice space in your head.”

Leonard actually looks thoughtful at that, and Sara presses her advantage, reaching up and putting her other hand on his jaw, holding his face in her hands and making sure he looks at her.

“I think we went through all this back in 1958,” she tells him. “About you being a good person. Leonard, no one’s a good person all the time, and you’ve been actively trying to be better.” She hesitates. “What would Rebecca say? Or Ginny. David?”

He mutters something, but Sara doesn’t let him off the hook. “You know perfectly well what they’d say, because they’ve said it,” she tells him fiercely. “Now, stop insulting the man I love. Or I’m going to be pissed.”

That actually gets a smile, and he studies her, eyes a saturated deep blue. It’s impossible, as the tension fades—replaced by a different sort of tension--not to realize how close they are or how very charged the atmosphere is. Leonard reaches out deliberately and puts one hand on either side of her on the bed, looking through his lashes at her, and smiles.

“Well,” he drawls, sounding a little more like himself, leaning toward her. “Can’t have that. The woman I love is quite the badass, you know.”

“Yeah?” Sara smirks in return, moving her hands down to rest on his hips, where she threads her fingers through the belt loops on his jeans, pulling him even closer. “She sounds awesome.”

“Oh, yeah.” Leonard studies her, then glances away, expression going serious again. He looks like he’s trying to make a decision, and Sara waits, wondering.

Finally, he nods, as if to himself, and meets her eyes.

“Being on this ship,” he says, quietly, bringing one hand up to touch her cheek gently, “traveling through time…” A pause. “…I’ve been wondering what the future might hold for me... and you…and me and you.”

He stops again. Sara feels like she can’t quite breathe. Is this…a proposal, Leonard Snart-style?

“You want to steal a kiss from me, Leonard?” she says lightly, giving him the chance to defuse the moment even as her pounding heart wants desperately to know what he’s going to say. “You better be one hell of a thief.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. A light in his eyes, Leonard starts to speak again…

But Gideon beats him to it.

“I am very sorry, Mr. Snart, Ms. Lance, truly, but we have arrived here, at the outpost,” she says carefully. “And time is of the essence…ah, in more ways than one. Can you meet the others at the bridge, or…”

A sigh explodes out of both of them at once, and Leonard shakes his head roughly as Sara closes her eyes and put a hand to her forehead. She wonders, briefly, if Leonard will tell Gideon that they need another moment…but then Leonard’s kissing her, his hand moving to curve behind her head, his lips warm and intent on hers, and Sara kisses him back, pulling him close, trying to memorize the feel and the taste of him before they part. It’s dangerous, what they’re going out to do, and they both know it—but if they ever want the future Leonard had spoken of, it’s something they both have to do.

They part slowly at first, staring at each other like they’re trying to memorize the sight, too. Well, Sara knows that she, for one, is. She tucks a strand of hair behind an ear and takes a deep breath, knowing that they have to move.

“I love you,” she tells him breathlessly. “Leonard, be careful. I know you’re playing the hero now, but…I’d rather have a live crook. Got it?”

That gets her a wry, if somehow melancholy, smile. “Got it,” he shoots back. “Sara…I love you, too.” A glance away, then back. “Give Savage hell, and don’t let Rip do anything too stupid.”

He steps back, and Sara slides off the bed with a sigh, grabbing her good White Canary leathers. “I could say the same to you,” she tells him. “Don’t let Mick and Ray do anything dumb. I want you all back.”

“Promise.”

She’ll remember that, later. He’d promised.

#somewhere on your road tonight #captain canary #legends of tomorrow

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batsysims · 5 years

Photo

didnt wanna do an actual Simself Edit™ so have an arrested development reference

anyways

i was tagged by @0cherub & i tag any1 who hasnt done this yet bc who doesnt like answering 125 questions abt themselves oh also @flavortowne im forcing you to do this sry

get to know me tag

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? its batsy dont worry abt it

3. BIRTHDAY? september 15

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? what?? are books

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? ye both

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? ummmm idk lmfao i havent “read” a “book”” in like 5 years

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? 35 & 36 on sirius are like basically the exact same station but that doesnt mean i dont constantly alternate between the two whenever im near a radio

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? pink is a v trustworthy flavor

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? *owen wilson voice* wrow

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? what kinda question is this wt f ive currently reobsessed myself w marina and the diamonds so honestly any of her discography

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? idk any words :^/ sry

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? wheels on the bus im exhausted

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? man in the high castle. man in the high castle. man in the high ca

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? clerks al;dksfjf

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? almost exclusively sims and fallout but every once in a while some indie game i find on steam so. yea

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? never doing anything in my life and having nothing 2 look forward to!! yay

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? probably my resiliency, maybe?? idk

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my habit of allowing bad things to happen to me lol

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? cats but im sorta kinda indifferent 2 both i think i might 1 of the 5 ppl on earth who dont like having pets

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer and fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yea

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? not being lazy lmfao

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? @flavortowne eye emoji

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its natural brown but im thinkn abt going either red or blonde again

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? like 3 ppl irl and everyone on discord u guys legit

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my person and @flavortowne eye emoji

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? tom hardy. what is his end goal

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? tbh going 2 basic lmfao im!! lame

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? as of right now,, spiderverse lol

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? teletubbies was fckn legit and so was old school spongebob

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my person

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? im not superstitious,,, but i am a little stitious

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? i cant deal w fishing poles idk

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? in front babey

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims or stitching play foods 4 the kid to use on her play kitchen

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? stop asking book questions

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? spiderverse yeye

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano & i try 2 pretend i know what im doing w a ukulele

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? stingrays :^)

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? legit all my mutuals

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? i had an oc that could read ppls memories like a scrapbook if he touched them and i always honestly thought that was. cool

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in my house!! the door b locked bitch!!!!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? toddler being an idiot toddler

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? its not really,, a sport,, but i bike

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda in those glass bottles is top tier non-alcoholic beverage

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? i wrote a letter 2 my person telling him he was an idiot and by the time it was mailed 2 his house i was already living there lol

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? either ppl blowing vape in my face or holding something so close to my face i cant see i just go ballistic

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nope unless u count a sesame street liveshow like 10 years ago

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nope!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a cop lmfao

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? this is horrible but the setting of new vegas i just feel like id be at home there, w the radiation and constant danger and dehydration

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the kid

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only when im looking in the mirror adlkfj start thinkn abt a different face showing up instead of mine idk

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yea

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? skipped a whole year adlfkj

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? this is basic but i miss the tri-state area

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? this is basic but i miss nj

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yea :^/ a dog, a cat, and uhhhh 14 fish

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but honestly im just always tired

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsettttt

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? i do

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones. they just work

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah but i need em

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? i listen to everything tbh

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? michael cera

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i used to read them religiously but not so much any more. i am reading the TAZ graphic novel tho

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? having to repeat myself 20 times. or being an idiot when i wanna start a new hobby

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? idk how to read

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? honestly i had a blast in econ and my law enforcement class

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? a bro, another sibling, and a half-bro

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? food lmfao

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? every time i measure myself im 5′2″ but the government insists that i am 5′3″ so w/e

75. CAN YOU COOK? yeap

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? alcohol, bike riding, wearing stupid makeup

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? ppl holding me back, bird box, when my nail breaks before i can file it so its all oglee

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? uh idk?? i dont have,, many,,,, friends

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? bi

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? sc :’^(

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my brother

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 2 nights ago the kid pistol whipped me in the chin w her phone and it just hurt so bad it legit made me lose it

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? ok this is dumb as shit the kid is obsessed w Blippi and i have a mom crush on him afdslfkjs

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? ye

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? i am currently obsessed w L.O.L. Surprise! Pop but all in all probs Pocket Camp

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? bad as parents but theyre fine now that im an adult and they have a grandkid they can like

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? i dont like a majority of them lmfao but idk maybe uh?? irish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? rly wanna go to nevada but im moving to the mojave soon anyways so

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? i was raised christian but i dont rly give a shit abt any of that

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? outer space my dood the ocean is dumb and scary

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im jus livin my life

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i mean. im lactose intolerant but thats abt it

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nope

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? when im wrong abt something

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest ig bad choices

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? i dont think i was ever given advice, ever. maybe thats why im like this

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? idk i try not 2 lie unless its like. an obvious exaggeration for the lols

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? wtf idk ok i just did one of those quizzes & im a slytherin?? what does that mean

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? yeah

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? more of an introvert but im ok w going out there if i gotta

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i keep one for the kid but thats abt it

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? nah. unless it was something stupid like burning food like im not gonna ban u from the kitchen

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? if theres an id i guess mail it 2 the address on there?? idk ive never just. found a wallet. i think this happens a lot less than all the hypotheticals make it out to be

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? if theyre dedicated to it. i dont think ppl can just do it over night and i dont think its ever a 100% change

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? dont touch me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Yep

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? 2 in both ears but thats it

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? spidr...mna

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no :^( once im cleared for them tho deffo

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? i hate that this is the answer but enlisting adlfkjs

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yeah ig??

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? 2 late

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? we all b stupit

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? idk?? i get embarrassed but also get over it quick so like. idk

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yea

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black & red

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? mhm

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? i was on nickelodeon back when they had those cuts to the Live Studio Audience™

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 21

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory i almost never eat anything sweet

#get to know me tag #now that ive posed this i wanna get back in2 making pose packs sigh

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britneyshakespeare · 6 years

Text

tagged by @pavlovers to do the 10 songs im currently obsessed with thing. this is kinda weird bc ive mostly been listening to poetry and two public domain audiobooks on spotify in the past like... two weeks (but sense and sensibility and the picture of dorian gray are still excellent so there’s that) and i’ve not been listening to as much music so... here we go. without further ado.

out of time - the rolling stones i have this eerie feeling i’ve done this song for one of these tag things before? or at least that i’ve talked about it before. i don’t know, i searched it on my blog and found nothing, but this has always been one of my favorite mid-60s brian jones stones songs. i can even get with the sardonic, cruel lyrics which in most cases just make me kinda irritated with mick jagger. they at least have a sense of cleverness in this case that tends to be lacking in other chrissie shrimpton-inspired songs like under my thumb and stupid girl.

somebody to love - queen okay so i saw bohemian rhapsody last sunday and i... loved it. reawakened all my love for queen that never really sleeps anyway. but freddie mercury really was just... so distinguished. and this is a pretty basic favorite queen song to have, and to be perfectly curt, i don’t think i even have a favorite queen song. their whole discography is too unique to really weigh against itself like with other bands. but of all the big queen songs that you tend to hear everywhere, this is the one that gets the most out of me, most consistently. as much as i also love killer queen and bohemian rhapsody and good old-fashion loverboy and all them.

quiero del fruto prohibido - stephanie salas while looking for more spanish-language music to listen to recently i found stephanie salas, and i haven’t gotten that deep into her discography yet, beyond just her 2006 album tuna, but i really love it and i’ve gone through it a couple of times. it reminds me a lot of return of saturn by no doubt, which is by a long shot my favorite gwen stefani-penned album. in both sound and attitude. and i always love discovering new music that sounds like old gwen stefani.

consequences - camila cabello (orchestral version) i really didn’t expect this from camila, even with as soulful as she’s been trying to sound since beginning her solo career. this was just so beautiful, and though i wouldn’t say the lyrics on this song are that impressive (she’s clearly still an amateur songwriter who’s yet to grow into herself), the new instrumental here really accentuates the best in it. this version is far better than it has any right to be.

paco paco paco - encarnita polo also found this while looking for 60s spanish pop songs on allmusic.com. i haven’t found much substantial information on the singer of this catchy little track yet, but it sure is pretty frickin cute, and doesn’t get annoying when it gets stuck in my head. suits all my girly vintage pop-rock needs, which we all know is my weakness.

by myself - cécile mclorin salvant discovered her new album the window on allmusic.com a few weeks ago (wow i’m really discussing a lot of allmusic.com on here... i don’t even use that site that much it’s just my main resource for discovering new shit bc i’m so out of touch w trends nowadays) and even though it’s all covers of decades-old songs... she’s really got the voice and the instrumentals backing her up to make them her own. a wonderful style. and this song in specific inspired me to make an aro jazz playlist, so there’s also that.

in india you - brian jonestown massacre i’ve yet to really dig into the discography of this band, but i’ve been meaning to for awhile. this is my favorite song from them so far, or at least the one that sticks out the most of those i’ve listened to. trippy and psychedelic and surreal and exquisite. does a lot of respect to their namesake of course... the 1978 jonestown massacre.

effeuille-moi le coeur - francoise hardy i’ve always loved the melody of this song ridiculously and as i’ve been trying to learn french, i’ve been using this songs as one of my audio samples, particularly bc i haven’t been able to find any detailed translations of it into english like you can with bigger francoise songs like tous les garcons and whatnot. so i’ve just been learning it piece by piece, because the language isn’t that out-of-reach to me. and i certainly love it more for that. :-)

thriller - fall out boy mandatory potentially embarrassing middle school song here. i haven’t been on a fob kick recently or anything, for some reason this song has just been popping into my head on and off recently. don’t really know why. but the lyrics of it always really stuck with me, especially in the chorus. still a good song that holds up.

the spinning wheel - delia murphy one of my favorite versions of one of my favorite traditional folk songs. there’s not really much i can say about it, other than that it just feels like an old comfort to me. and if anything, the antiquity of the recording and less-than-stellar sound quality of its being so old is a charm to me. i just feel so melancholy and nostalgic listening to it. a wonderful song.

i don’t know what to do. i guess i’ll just tag a few @sneez @shecomesincolors @nospoonsgiven @r3nton @aliceic @bohemian-brian

#tag #thank ya nancy i think i forgot to say that above

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animalcrossingtownlore · 6 years

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-so i know that in my last update i didn’t say anything about making headcanons for this, but that’s actually bc i literally found this AU right after i made that post. if you have no idea what this AU is, it’s basically an alternate universe where some of the sun and moon characters are actually ultra beasts! and since i am now the official adoptive mother of the ultra beasts, i decided to give my own version of this au, since i don’t think many people have done this yet.

(quick note, i’m not sure who actually made this au??? i was scrolling through tumblr and somebody made a piece of art and credited someone named @mana-chan for this au, but im not sure. none the less, i love this au, and i thank whoever made it! i’ll also say i took inspiration by @kira-vera, for the ideas of what certain people would be as ultra beasts. go check these two people out!)

- so the very first thing that’s different in this au is that whenever mohn was sucked into the ultra wormhole, and lusamine found out about nihilego and all the other ubs, she became more concerned about ultra beasts.

- why? maybe it could be bc she thought that an ultra beast had sucked away, maybe she didn’t even see mohn go into that ultra wormhole. maybe lusamine saw something in the ultra beasts... maybe she saw that if she could become an ultra beast herself... she could save her husband.

- and so! she not only becomes an abusive bitch to her children, she focuses all of the aether foundation’s time, effort, and money into finding a way for her to become an ultra beast herself!

- obviously, they need type:null and cosmog. how else will they catch the ultra beasts? except, at this point, gladion and lillie didn’t run away with them yet. type:null and cosmog end up being so busy, as cosmog is always being forced to open the wormholes and hold them open for a very long time, and type:null is always fighting ultra beasts. gladion and lillie didn’t even know they existed; they only knew that their mother wanted ultra beasts.

- the first ultra beast lusamine finds is nihilego. the aether foundation found a way to permanently fuse ultra beasts and humans together, but lusamine doesn’t want to risk the first try on herself.

- and what does the perfectly rational lusamine do? she tries it out on lillie, her only daughter!

- ok. lillie = nihilego. that was obvious.

- and now... lillie has forever changed. after the experiment, lillie is able to change forms, one being her human form, and the other her nihilego form. in her nihilego form, she’s dangerous, and she can do anything that a regular nihilego can.

- in human form, she is still affected by her ultra beast form. as nihilego basically lives off humans and pokemon, feeding off their energy so it won’t go out itself, lillie soon finds that she has urges to... well... she realizes in order for her to live, she needs to go into nihilego form once in a while and suck the fucking life out of people and pokemon.

- yeah. im not kidding. lillie can’t even eat regular people food. she becomes a murderer so she can eat. messed up as hell, i know. but lillie is too scared to hurt actual people, and even though it pains her to hurt pokemon... she has to do it. it’s the only way she’ll live.

- now, faba and wicke make an appearance! apparently, there’s a version of this au where wicke is the evil one, right? not in mine. in mine, wicke is fucking terrified of this shit. like who wouldn’t be. but she knows she has to help... she tries to comfort lillie after this. but lillie is just so scarred for life.

- but faba! faba is still #FabaIsAPieceOfShit and he thinks that testing out the experiment again would be fine (just to make extra sure that lusamine wont die or anything) so he tries it out on gladion! wow! what an asshole, right? i dunno, in this au, he probably just wants to throw lusamine and her family down an ultra wormhole with them as ubs so he can become president of the aether foundation.

- so about what ub gladion would be.. i dunno. gladion is my fav edgelord. but i just dont know. im thinking either xurkitree or buzzwole. but since i wanna make someone else xurkitree, lets make gladion buzzwole!

- so as buzzwole, gladion doesn’t go through many changes... except for being a lot stronger and having weird urges to punch shit. he doesnt get muscles tho. (sorry edgelord fangirls maybe next time) he still LOOKS skinny and weak, but fuck it he could kill people with one small punch. dont test him.

- and now it is lusamine’s turn to become a ub! if it wasn’t obvious enough, she becomes pheromosa. lusamine isnt affected too much, except for the fact that her kicks are now super powerful and she CAN NOT let ppl touch her. rlly. she always hated it before, but now? she doesnt hesitate to kick with her high heels bitch.

- and now the whole aether family are ubs. lusamine likes it. gladion and lillie hate it. and wicke decides enough is enough and sends them away to both live with professor kukui and burnet.

- professor kukui and burnet dont know about how gladion and lillie are ubs tho, so they have to (*TRY*) to hide their secret.

- psst it doesnt work very well bc lillie literally has to fucking kidnap pokemon and steal their energy and gladion destroys stuff to easy

- so kukui and burnet become suspicious. but they’re nice enough so they dont ask any questions. they do get a little scared but---

- it’s only when three months later, two twin children move to alola with their mother. their names are sun and moon, and both are very happy to meet lillie and gladion! they all meet each other in iki town and they have fun, until they meet hau, the grandson of the kahuna.

- hau takes them all up to try and see tapu koko, and tapu koko does come out!

- .... to attack sun and moon.

- but!!!!! surprise surprise! sun and moon turn into guzzlord and celesteela, and they fend off tapu koko! yes, sun and moon are both ubs!

- (i made sun and moon into guzzlord and celesteela bc i had no idea who else guzzlord and celesteela would be) (also the reason why tapu koko attacked them was bc tapu koko could sense that they were ubs) (and btw, since sun and moon can change their clothes and looks and stuff they could make themselves looks like celesteela and guzzlord) (and for the convenience of this au some ultra beasts are actually able to transform into humans)

- hAU IS FUCKING SCREAMING AND YELLING THE POOR CHILD IS SO CONFUSED. GLADION AND LILLIE ARE SHOCKED. SUN AND MOON ARE ALSO SCREAMING.

- sun and moon say they have to kill them all until lillie and gladion reveal they are actually nihilego and buzzwole. then they want to kill hau. but hau says he’ll never tell. thats a fucking lie. hau cant keep a secret for shit.

- and so, hau accidentally tells hala the secret. then professor kukui and burnet find out. and the whole thing is mess but everything works itself out. mainly they all keep it between them, but professor burnet finds out that a strange aura has appeared around alola, and it may be coming from certain ppl in alola, so they think if all four of the ub children go on the island challenge they may find other ubs on their journey?

- i know its a little weird but bare with me here. also i lied, lillie doesn’t go on the island challenge bc reasons. even tho she has to murder pokemon to live it doesnt mean she has to hurt them anymore than she has. she’s already guilty as fuck, let the girl live. but gladion is on the island challenge so yep cool.

- so the four dangerous children are now on the island challenge! + hau joins in bc hes actually really amazed by everyone’s abilities. its actually really fun until ula’ula island, where they meet acerola, for the ghost trial.

- acerola = poipole. ok, but how hirlously would it be if acerola was actually a run away poipole? like she came here as a poipole, with soliera and phyco, but she ran away. and then she met nanu, and nanu officially adopted her as like his niece like she actually is in the games?

- and then!!!! they meet nanu!!! and nanu!!! is actually stakataka!!! but as a human!!! wow!!!

- ok, so lets pretend the whole team skull kidnapping yungoos thing never happened. lets also pretend this happened in pokemon ultra sun/moon, where it has the whole necrozma thing going on. the main five are on their island challenge, and they meet mina.

- mina = blacephalon. yeah. thats all i wanna say.

- finally, they all get to the altar of the sunne/altar of the moone. however something vERY SURPRISING HAPPENS RIGHT THERE. NECROZMA APPEARS. OH SHIT. ALSO LUSAMINE AND GUZMA TOO. YEAH EVERYTHING WITH THAT HAPPENS. BUT WHENEVER THEY FIGHT NECROZMA ALL THE ULTRA BEAST PEOPLE FIGHT NECROZMA. YES. EPIC.

and.. oh fuck im sorry this is lazy. im tired as hell. ive working on this for at least four or five days. i wanna work on something else. i cant finish this sorry. and if cause anyone was wondering, guzma = xurkitree and plumeria = kartana.

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mhalachai · 6 years

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IM SO GLAD U UPDATED! HoC is my fav stucky fic. ive been meaning 2 send u an ask, but i just got around to reading all the outtakes and tumblr posts but i hope its ok if i ask a few questions? u obv dont have 2 answer but i just wanted 2 share my thoughts w u! 1st of all, reading ur thing abt the Sex Talk made me think abt nat starting her period in a house of boys/everything w that. i would LOVE to read a scene of that, or at least ur ideas of how itd go (aka how bucky would handle it...) (1/3)

(2/3) 2ndly i was wondering if u r planning on bucky opening up more 2 steve, or at least more narration, abt what he went thru as a kid? as some1 who has gone thru something similar, u write it rly well & 4 me it actually helps 2 read fictional stories w that stuff? + u do a great job at what is likely for a person 2 share (i see lots of ppl writing a character spilling everything 2 somebody else which isnt v realistic) but id luv to see him open up a bit more or at least that b touched on more

I didn’t get your third ask! There’s a super-weird tumblr bug where if you have an ellipse followed by a space, the ask vanishes. Please feel free to resend :D

OK! I did write a mini-outtake about Natasha getting her period in a house full of boys (and Wanda by that point, but Wanda is two and it’s all an aside), it’s at https://mhalachai.tumblr.com/post/147216933987/i-totally-think-nat-would-be-so-chill-and-casually. tl’dr Bucky tries to act all cool but he’s a dork but at least he doesn’t mess anything up.

As to having Bucky open more to Steve about some of the stuff he’s gone through, I’m hesitant to go down that road in the story as Bucky isn’t in a place (at this point in the story) where he really wants to revisit any his past - he’s done a heck of a lot of repressing and avoidance that if he can just be successful and make money and raise Natasha right and keep her safe (ie keep control over his life) then he’ll be “okay”. For Bucky, with everything that happened when he was a teen, it was all so tied up in his mind with being helpless and not having any control that he hyper-focused on that control and being in charge of his own destiny, and pushed other aspects of his situation at the time to the back.

I think that the best thing Steve can do for Bucky, and that Bucky can do for himself, is for Bucky to take the hand offered to him in times of troubles, and know that he can lean on Steve and trust him wholeheartedly, which at this point in the story (chapter 32) Bucky hasn’t really let himself think yet. Yes, he loves Steve, and knows that Steve loves him, but he’s not quite ready to put much weight on their bond, or test how much he can depend on Steve to stand by him and be there in the hard times. That will take time, and some work on both their parts.

Thanks so much for your ask and all the best to you, anon

#hands of clay #asks #anon #Anonymous

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the-empires-weapon · 6 years

Text

Price of Rebirth

Story for my JC, Suzuka Hamasaki. Takes place pre-Voss; major spoilers ahead.

There was no reason to believe that Senator Tobas Grell was anything but healthy. His chest moved steadily in time with his breaths. His eyes were open, blinked regularly. His body showed no sign of fever or malaise. And his skin remained a healthy shade of white common for the Sarkhai.

But he was gone, somehow, still, after days away from the hands of that sith Lord Stark. No matter what I tried to do, no manner of medicine or meditation or healing powers of the Force, I couldn’t make him regain his mind. I reached and reached as far as I could, and even farther still to try and retrieve his sense of self, but though I thought I could see it deeper down in the depths of his own mind, it was retreated, and cold. I could not even touch it.

I pulled out of my focus on a seat by the side of my own bed, where Senator Grell laid. He looked the same, no worse yet no better. He remained plump and vivid as ever, due to the drip and the IV strapped to his arm that Tharan had wheeled in from the medical bay. His body wasn’t deteriorating, no - but I could sense him disappearing and fading. A healthy body yet a broken mind, further broken by its own comatose.

“He doesn’t look any better.”

I lifted my gaze to the doorway. Nadia stood there, clutching at her sleeves and biting at her lower lip. I shook my head.

“I’m doing everything I can, Nadia.”

“There has to be more! Anything! Maybe I- if my powers-!” she fisted her hands tighter in her own robes, so much so I worried that they might rip. Ferocious tears bloomed in her eyes; she blotted at them with her sleeves. I raised a hand to try and give her a gentle push, motivation to leave, but I could feel her resist. I could see the look in her eyes turn even angrier.

“You’re trying to push me away, Master Suzuka!”

“There’s nothing you can do right now, Nadia. I need time.”

“We don’t have time! We need my father back! I need my father back!” she stomped her foot, hard enough for the floor to suddenly dent. She glowed with the Force. It was clear she wouldn’t leave of her own volition - so I reached out with my mind, and found Alauni’s.

Nadia is upset. I need you to take her away.

Nadia glared at me, and I gave her an even stare in return. Silence prevailws among the sound of the engine and the general noise of the ship. Yet, I heard footsteps approach, and watch a pale green hand touch Nadia’s shoulder.

“Nadia, we need you in the conference room. There are certain treaties you should overlook.”

Nadia whirled on her heel and spat in Alauni’s face. “I don’t want to go over treaties-!”

“Go with her, Nadia. There’s nothing you can do here.”

“I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving my father’s side while he’s-!” Nadia stopped with her lower lip trembling. I heard heavier footsteps from outside. I watched as scaled arms grabbed Nadia, and Nadia shrieked. “NO! PUT ME DOWN, QYZEN! FATHER!!”

I listened to the footsteps receding, along with the sounds of Nadia’s screams, down the corridor and away. I sighed. Alauni peeked her head in the doorway, and gave me a look.

“She’s still grieving, Barsen’thor.”

“She still hadn’t accepted that she may have to be the Senator now.”

We gave each other an even look. Alauni nodded, and disappeared out the door. The door phased shut behind her. Though for as at-odds as we had been when we first met, I thanked, we’d become better acquainted, enough so that she respected my privacy. For that, I was grateful.

I got up from my chair and paced.

I need a solution. Now.

Though it was clear that Tobas Grell was remaining, in some amount, healthy, it was also abundantly clear that his daughter was not. It was clear in how little she ate, how little she slept, and how often she’d come to my room looking for hours and hours of silence simply staring at his body. Her cheeks were becoming hollow; she was already rail-thin, but I could sense her thinness beginning to reach extremes, body fighting to hold onto slim remnants of fat and muscle. She spoke with nobody. She did nothing but argue. And the duties of Senator for Sarkhai lay in tatters on the conference room’s floor.

It was abundantly obvious that the matter of Tobas Grell had to be settled immediately, not just for his sake, but for his daughter’s. But no matter the manner or method I reached for, it all seemed to fail. Medicine did nothing for his mind. My meditations on his mind did little else but push his consciousness to retreat further. And no manner of shielding would step between the extremity of his trauma and his rational mind.

The carpeted floor cushioned my bare feet. The recycled air smelled of must, weeks away from any planet to pull air from. All lights seemed muted, my own mind in a daze from all my attempts at ease. And my eyes felt heavy with the loss of sleep I, too, had experienced.

What if I left his mind alone, I wondered. Would he return, of his own volition? But no: it would take weeks, nay, months, for him to regain a sense of consciousness again, never mind the full strength of his self-will. And what would be of Nadia then? Nothing but such a long period to continue waiting, to continue fasting, to continue to push her body to impossible limits. She’s falling deep into her grief, I thought to myself. Grief was such a strong motivator. I remembered it well, mourning the deaths of my own parents.

I stopped in front of a mirror, one illicit within the realm of the Jedi. I stared at my own tired eyes, at the rumples of my lounging robes, at the disarray of my hair. I looked no worse than Nadia, for sure. But I looked weak. The truth was, even my own attempts were beginning to wear down my own mind. I could only keep up such presence for so long, and my power was beginning to wane. What more could I do, what more than what I’d already done?

Deep down, I knew.

There remain the rituals to return the dead to the living, Suzuka.

My eyes widened at the mirage behind me. The common mirage I’d seen since I was young; the mirage I’d developed alongside my own sense of the Force. A black shadow, churning with the red of blood, mimicking my own silhouette, outstretching its hand. I felt my body stiffen. I held my breath, for hope of hiding my own fear.

You know there are darker and deeper rituals to bring him to the surface again, and you know you have the strength to perform them.

I close my eyes and take a deep inhale. My mind rifles through all the titles of texts I’d held in my hands, all the forbidden words that my eyes had taken in for my mind to comprehend. Texts that were never to be in Jedi libraries, or Jedi teachings. Texts that were, be it dangerous to say, even sithlike in memory. Yes - yes, I could remember, could remember the words and the ingredients and the incantations to make a mind return. I could remember the bloody sacrifices to bring somebody from the brink. I could remember the warnings, of the Force’s weight, and its desire to consume the user whole.

I remember feeling the Force’s full weight, and feeling strong.

“But what would I do,” I said aloud, “If it failed?” For there were punishments for Jedi who failed, oh, were their punishments. Even greater numbers of Jedi, stronger ones, had come together for such a task and failed. The abominations of the Sith fell upon them, and worse. Horrific contortions and constructions of ugly creatures, bent and bred from the Force’s most deadliest feedings, surviving solely through the sheer will to live, surviving through pain and a distinct heartlessness that came from the suffering no man could ever imagine bestowed. Stronger Jedi than I have fallen, I thought, yet the option remained. Remained, in the hand of the Dark Side that sought to take my own.

I suddenly remembered Balmorra. The president, and his own mind destroyed. Then, there had been no hope of his recovery, nothing but a slow and painful death in which he’d be unable to pass on his position to another. But Zenith and I, we had made it work, had pieced enough of his mind together with the barest of technologies to give him the strength to pass his title on.

And then after, when nobody had seen, I’d . . . laid him to rest.

But we didn’t have that technology upon the ship, I thought to myself. But Grell’s position would be passed on, regardless, to his daughter - that I remembered. If this were Balmorra and the same scenario as before, all would be done. All done, except for . . .

. . . and that would end the suffering. For all of us.

I opened my eyes. They were a solid green in the mirror. The figure of the Dark Side remained, but I turned from the mirror, away from its gaze, and walked past it to the head of my bed.

Senator Grell’s eyes were still open. I reached out with both my hands, shaking, and laid them over his gaze. I tried to pretend that my voice didn’t shake too.

“I’m deeply sorry, my friend. And . . . to you. Nadia.”

***

Screaming. I sat up from my bed in the core of the ship in the dark of the night. I can hear it, loud and clear, as well as the flooding of the Force from the bedroom of my ship.

“FATHER’S GONE! HE’S GONE - NO, ALAUNI, NO! I CAN’T DO THIS! FATHER!”

The sobbing was gross, gross and violent. But I was awake, and everybody would come to me now, I knew it. I shake my head, and push myself out of bed. I gave what I thought to be a quick glimpse to the mirror across from me, and nearly fainted at what I saw.

My eyes were the color of a poisonous purple.

I blinked once, and it cleared back to their normal, healthy green. I stood and stared in shock - maybe in awe. But the noise escalated, the screamings growing worse, and I simply sighed as I finally turn away, and left my room and to the stairs.

This had been my choice, I remembered - the choice to end the suffering, before it caused further chaos.

And if the result was to brand me a sinner . . . I would take it.

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