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kareofbears · 4 years

Text

desperate as that sounds

Five times Ryuji ran for Akira (and one time he ran for himself.)

—

read on ao3 or below the cut :)

It’s 4:45 am with the weather sitting at a brutal -3 degrees when Ryuji really starts wishing that he brought another jacket.

People are lined around Akihabara by the hundreds outside of closed electronic stores, and the sun has yet to even rise. Some people are yawning, some are clutching their rapidly cooling coffee in a death grip, and most have dark, purple bags underneath their eyes—proof of the battle scars that they’ve acquired. Every person here had the same goal in mind: To get what they need and get out as quick as possible.

As it turns out, if everyone has that same mindset, it creates the violent, yearly November tradition that is Black Friday.

Glancing around, he notices that people came in packs, teams. Teenagers and pre-pubescent kids are all scuffling around, hyping themselves up and creating strategies for the war to come. The more seasoned veterans of the yearly massacre came in pairs—the smaller the group, the faster you move, the move land you cover.

At the biggest electronic store in a region that’s already been nicknamed ‘Electronic Town,’ he is fourth in line—an impressive feat, especially for a first-timer. But it came with a heavy toll: he is completely and utterly alone.

”Skull, do you read me?”

Well, physically alone, anyway.

“Loud and clear,” he replies, readjusting the mic in his ear. “Not that I mind, but what’s with the codenames?”

Futaba scoffs. “You think Black Friday is just about the physical aspect? Foolish boy—the psychological aspects are half the battle. If I get you into the mindset that we’re in a Palace, then you’ll get into infiltration mode, and you’ll be OP compared to the nerds out there.”

“Ooo, I like it! Your brain is effin’ galaxy sized!”

“I do what I can for my faithful pack mule.”

“I’ll try not to take that personally.”

His deal with Futaba had been a simple one. She helps Ryuji navigate the horrors of Akihabara during Black Friday in exchange that he acts as what is essentially a drug trafficker sans the drugs. Despite her rigorous societal training she’d undergone with the Thieves, something about entering a borderline stampede still seems somewhat unappealing to her. Besides, he doesn’t mind. He’d always wanted to do something nice for Futaba anyway, and the store that has her computer thing is the same store that holds what he needs.

”Five minutes to go,” her voice crackles into his ear. ”Infiltration route—go!”

Their deal had also come in with an intense tutorial session that ended up lasting until one in the morning. “Floor 4, down 3 aisles, 8 steps in, turn right, second shelf, grab a box that says ‘GTX graphics card.’ Pink, if possible.”

“A+, Skull! You know, if you can memorize that, I seriously don’t get why you’re failing English verbs.”

“Please, this is actually important.”

Futaba cackles. “Now you’re speaking my language. With your legs and my navigation, this’ll basically be a Tuesday afternoon in Leblanc.”

People around him are starting to straighten up, some going as far as to remove the extra layer of clothing and shoving it in backpacks for maximum speed and minimum restrictions. “Damn, people here look more intense than some dudes in my track meets.”

“If you’re throwing out portable chargers with 30-hour battery life for only 800 yen, you’d be a little intense too.”

Ryuji scoffs and begins to stretch, being extra sure to get his right thigh. “I’m plenty intense. Just last Saturday, I almost beat the Big Bang Burger challenge.”

“Pretty sure Akira beat that on his second week in Tokyo. You know, you still haven’t told me why you’re bothering with this whole Black Friday mess. I didn’t peg you for an electronics type of guy, and your phone is as crappy as your posture.”

“Rude! But I can’t argue with that.” He starts to run in place, and for a brief second, he wonders if he should’ve packed a protein shake.

“Well, too late now. If your thing sells out because you didn’t want to give your Navi information, that’s on you.”

“Gimme some credit, Futaba,” an employee who looks equal parts sleep-deprived and terrified approaches the glass doors. “Ain’t no way in hell I’m failing either of us this morning.”

The glass slides open, and as if sunlight was released from the captivity of the clouds, or perhaps a meteor just broke through the earth’s atmosphere, the people start pushing, shoving, and flooding inside. The crowd looked both impenetrable and unwavering; an unstoppable force and an immovable object rolled into one giant stream of desperate shoppers.

Ryuji spares a split-second to crack his neck. Mission Start.

The moment he breaks through the initial threshold, people who were only one step behind him suddenly became ten, twenty, thirty. Weaving through crowds and aisles with the precision of a seamstress, Ryuji evades it all with ease.

”Skull, status report.”

“Smooth sailing, Oracle!” He ducks as an overly buff businessman turns around with a 3-metre pole used for studio lighting threatens to bash his head in. “You’re totally right about the codenames, by the way. It’s almost like I’ve got Captain with me.”

“Right?” She laughs. “It’s all about the mindset.”

Ryuji turns, and finally gets to the stairs—the most brutal section and the biggest gamble. It’s the reason why it was essential that he’s one of the first in line. Once the stairs get jammed with people, it’s game over. Making a mad dash up four flights of stars, he thanks any God that may be that Palaces are fantastic for rehab.

He makes it to the top, panting. It’s empty, save for a few nervous-looking employees. He hopes the smile he throws their way came off as ‘pleasant and grateful for their service’ rather than ‘a delinquent asshole who might steal loads of shit.’

“Down 3 aisles, 8 steps,” he mutters to himself as he quickly scans the fourth floor. “Turn right, second shelf,” eyes landing on his target, he grins. “I effin’ rock.”

”You got it?”

“Of course I did!” He fist pumps before swiping the box. In his excitement, he nearly runs over to give a random employee a high-five. “Alright Oracle, you’re up.”

”I love you so much in a non-weird way. Okay,” he hears the clacking of keys on the other side of the mic. “What do you need?”

“Two words: game console.”

The clacking stops. “You’re joking.”

Ryuji snorts. “I ain’t waking up at 3 in the morning for a joke.”

”Those are hard enough to get as is, and on a day like this—”

“So you can’t do it?”

In the same way every one of the thieves know they could bait Ryuji with a few choice words, it’s a lesser-known fact that Futaba is quite nearly as bad when it comes to open defiance. “Jerk. Of course I can.”

“Then let’s do it!”

“Ugh, fine!” The clacking resumes, more vigorously. “Yikes, only 3 left. Make it quick!”

“Got it,” he replies. He turns around and his stomach drops as he sees people rushing in. “What floor?”

“Third.”

Ryuji groans. The stairs, with people packed in like sardines, are a circus. It would take at least two minutes to try and go down a single flight of stairs. The elevator is even worse, and he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it had already started to malfunction. Only one choice, then.

He takes a deep breath. “Pray for me.”

”Godspeed, soldier.”

Ryuji, like a wild animal on the loose in the streets of Tokyo, jumps on the handrails and begins his descent that way, begging to the skies that he doesn’t slip and create a domino effect that knocks down a dozen people.

In thirty seconds flat (with no small amount of cursing from both the customers and himself) he jumps off and lands (tumbles) onto the third floor, grinning triumphantly. Eat your heart out, Sumire.

“Oracle, I’m here. Almost broke my ankles. Where to?”

”Straight ahead,” she replies. ”Only one left, though. Better make it quick.”

His eyes land on the last game console, and he sees someone making their way towards it. “Not a problem.”

Ryuji sprints.

Throwing every societal rule and common courtesy into the air, he makes a mad dash and, somehow, miraculously does not bump into anyone or knock down any huge shelves.

In approximately 3 seconds, he grabs his treasure and yells a very loud but completely genuine “sorry!” over his shoulder as he half runs back to the stairs, face red for multiple reasons.

Delving back into the sea of the crowd, trying to navigate himself to the cash register, he sighs. “I’m going to hell.”

”Mission success, then?”

“I had to steal it from some guy! I feel so bad. What if he’s like, buying it for his long lost son or something?”

”Whatever! That’s just part of the Black Friday spirit. Congrats! At least you finally got a game console.”

“Huh? Oh, I already had one.”

Static crinkles in his ear, before, ”WHAT!?”

“Ow! Don’t yell!”

”You already had one and you still did this shopping run?”

“Yeah…?”

”Why?! Are you gonna sell it? Are you one of those sleazy men who take advantage of the good will of gamers, Sakamoto?”

“Hell no!”

”So—“

“Oops, almost at the front of the cash register. I’ll drop off the goods at Akira’s. Talk to you later, shortie.”

Click.

”Wha— Hey! Ryuji!” Silence. “Ugh!”

————

After a much-deserved nap, Futaba climbs up the stairs to Akira’s attic.

“The star has arrived!” she says in lieu of a greeting. “Where’s Ryuji?”

“He left,” Akira answers. He’s looking at something on his worktable. “Your stuff is on the bed.”

Futaba whoops and snatches up the little plastic bag. Peering inside, she sees an adorable GTX hot pink graphics card, and a note. In a horrific scrawl, it writes: dont tell him plz ;)))

She looks up quizzically when her eyes land on Akira’s desk: A shiny new game console.

“Um…”

“Hmm?” he looks up. “Oh, Ryuji dropped it off. Said his mom won it at work, and since he already had one, he gave it to me. Nice, right?”

She opens her mouth, before closing it with a clack. Just two weeks ago, Ryuji had asked Akira in the group chat if they could play video games at his place. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget about Akira’s situation: false accusation, an attic for a room, no definitive meals, not even a proper bathroom in the building, but Akira plays it off like it’s easy. He answered by making a joke that he’s too poor for something like that when you can buy faux battle axes and realistic shotguns instead. Everyone had forgotten about that interaction.

But apparently, Ryuji hadn’t.

He’s an idiot, Futaba thinks. To which boy she’s referring to, she’s not sure.

“Yeah,” is what she says instead. “It’s nice.”

====

The dust motes flying around the attic of Leblanc are lovely. Swirling in senseless formations, floating through the still air like snow. The way none of them collide with each other, as if they have some sort of motion detector that tells them to move out of the way. It’s pleasing to look at.

It’s a shame Ryuji doesn’t give a single shit about them at this moment.

He’s sitting on Akira’s bed, back pressed against the window sill with his hair tipped up, staring unfocused at the wooden beams, eyes glazed over. He’s been like this for the better part of the day, and now the evening is slipping by him. Time continues ticking on like a rigged bomb; an ongoing reminder of how many seconds he’s losing, and how much more he can lose.

He’s considered moving. To walk around the room, shift the dust that’s surely settled on him. Getting up, stretching his legs, outwardly expelling some of his trapped, balled up energy is a good idea. Healthy, even, if those shitty YouTube videos he’s watched on his phone about anger management were on to something. But he can’t. He shouldn’t.

Amidst all the uncertainty and the wound-up anxiety that has currently made permanent residence deep inside his core, he knows that if lets his joints unlock, he’s going to fucking lose it.

Slam a fist inside the dry wood, tear up a blanket, throw the adorable ramen bowl he gave Akira against the wall until it shatters into a hundred pieces. He’s so terrified of ruining this room that he won’t even give himself the option. And Ryuji would rather let hell freeze over than scare Futaba again in his fit of fucked-up rage that comes with the package that is Sakamoto Ryuji.

So he’s stuck on the bed for God knows how long.

Footsteps come up, and he doesn’t need to look down to know who’s going to chew him out. If it’s not Akira that’s going to chide him out of his stupor (which it isn’t, even though Ryuji would do anything if it means that Akira’s back here with them), then they’d send in someone who’d drag him out of it with her nails perfectly manicured.

“You look terrible.”

“Screw off,” Ryuji spits automatically, and he cringes inwardly. Ann doesn’t deserve the sharp end of his horrible mood. It’s not her fault that it feels like his insides feel like they’re trying to eat their way out.

She ignores him and moves to hop on top of the old work desk. The wood creaks underneath her. “You’ve been here all day.”

“I know.”

“Did you sleep last night?”

“Yes. No.” He feels Ann’s stare burn into the side of his face—a ghost of Carmen’s presence. “I don’t know.”

“He wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

Irritation swells in him. She’s never learned to take a hint in her life. “Really? Are you seriously saying that?”

“Are you saying he would?”

“I’m saying he’s too busy having the living shit beat out of him to see me like this.”

His body twitches, and that’s all he needed for his resolve to break down. He jumps from the bed, feet landing heavily enough that he’s sure they can all hear him from the floor below. Unconsciously, his feet pace around the small room; quick with agitation but heavy with dread. Anything to distract from doing something stupid.

“You’re worried about me, what, not sleeping? For lying down on this damn bed for too long? Screw that. Akira’s being grilled like cheap meat for the past couple of days and you’re expecting me to act normal about it? That’s bullshit.”

Bad. This is bad. His fingers are already curling in his fists, eager and all too willing to be used. He settles for balling the edge of his shirt instead.

“He isn’t here. That’s the fact, isn’t it? And what the fuck am I doing about it? Freaking out? Trying not to throw a tantrum about it like some kind of stupid kid? Am I really this messed in the head that everyone on the team is—-is hiding from me like I’m some kind of—” he cuts himself off.

Delinquent.

Ryuji takes a deep breath, fully inhaling and slowly exhaling. He focuses on the dust motes again. In and out. Countdown from ten. He can do this. He can get a grip on himself. Thank God it was Ann that came up—if it had been anyone else, he doesn’t think he can put his pride aside as easily. (Unless it was Futaba. God, he loves her so much.)

For a while, it was silent except for his breathing; it stuttered occasionally, but eventually it evens out. Ann only watches from her perch.

When he feels stable enough, Ryuji drops to sit on the hardwood.

“Okay?” she asks. Ann never babies him when he gets like this—she’s good that way.

“Okay.” And he really is. Not completely, of course not. His nerves weren’t strung as tight, but he still feels a heavy weight right in his stomach.

She hops off the desk and goes to sit in front of him on the floor. Crossing her legs, Ann waits. They regard each other for a long minute.

“He’s the toughest guy I’ve ever met,” he says. It feels weird saying this out loud, instead of repeating the mantra in his head like a broken record. “If anyone can handle this, it’s Akira.”

She rolls her eyes. “Duh.”

“He’s going to be okay.”

“I know that.”

“Sooner than later, his dumb ass is going to be walking through the door downstairs.”

“You bet he is.”

“And I get to yell at him as much as I want.”

“Get in line.”

“I’m not going to lose him tonight.”

Ann reaches over—slowly, giving him plenty of room to shift away—and places a hand on his knee. “You’re not going to lose him tonight.”

Ryuji laughs, a little breathy but still genuine. He prods at her hand. “When’d you get so good with me, Takamaki?”

“I do the Lord’s work around here, free of charge.” She grins, before her tone drops again. “Can you do something for me, though?”

“Lay it on me.”

Ann pulls back and leans on a propped hand, her blue eyes piercing. “When Akira comes back, and he will—”

“And he will. No doubt about it.”

“Obviously. He’s the best person for this. But when Akira comes back, he’s…” Ann gnaws on the inside of her cheek. “He’s not going to be okay, Ryuji.”

Somewhere in his mind, he already knew what she was going to say. While the biggest of his worries is that he’d never see Akira walk through the doors of Leblanc again, there was a quieter fear. A very specific fear, one that Ryuji knows all too well. Because stories don’t just end at the climax of a single event—they keep going. It’s the fear of what happens once he does see Akira.

The aftermath.

The bell chimes downstairs.

His heart lurches, and he makes the briefest of eye contact with Ann before he’s gone.

He’s the toughest guy I’ve ever met.

It’s like his feet have a mind of their own.

If anyone can handle this, it’s Akira.

In an instant, he’s scrambling towards the stairs on all fours before pushing himself up.

Sooner than later, his dumbass is going to be walking through the door downstairs.

His hand finds its hold on the old wooden railing as he sprints his way down. More than once, he almost trips and bangs his head into the wall.

And I get to yell at him as much as I want.

Rounding the corner, he jumps on the landing, ignoring the sharp pain that shoots up his thigh. He ignores the stares from everyone else. Looking up his breath catches in his throat. Gray eyes meet his brown ones. He takes one step forward, and then another. And then he sprints the rest.

He’s going to be okay.

Ryuji stops himself right in front of him, an arms-length away. Akira’s face looked like it’s been through hell and back. Split lip, black eye, bruised cheekbone. An intense fury flares up his spine when he sees the grime and dirt up along his temple.

He hesitates.

As much as he wants to reach forward, close the gap, to make sure that this boy that he can’t afford to lose is real… he can’t do it.

Because he knows what would happen if he tries to cross a boundary that isn’t ready to be crossed—he might not be ready. Ryuji could hurt him by touching any injuries he doesn’t know about (God, how much more is he hiding in there? He’s this close to either throwing up or throwing a punch). But what he’s most scared about, what he’s terrified of doing, is touching Akira in the state of mind he’s in right now. For someone to grip him, grab him, even just brush past him right now, it might be too much. Judging by how beat up he looks just from his face? That does shit to people. That changes you.

Ryuji would know. So he keeps his distance.

Akira’s eyes turn dark, and for a second, Ryuji is terrified that he must’ve overstepped a boundary.

Then he throws his arms around Ryuji, the force knocking them both back by a couple of steps.

“Akira?” he asks, bewildered. Never in their friendship has he seen Akira act like this. It sends alarm bells ringing through his head. “What—”

“Don’t,” Akira cuts off, voice hoarse and quiet, so quiet that even this close, Ryuji is straining to hear him. The arms around him tighten. “Don’t be like that. Please. I can’t. Not right now, Ryuji.”

It hits him all at once. And in his sixteen years of living, Ryuji doesn’t think he’s ever been stupider.

Akira’s been trapped in an interrogation room with nothing but a bunch of make-believe police officers. He got the shit beat out of him, had to stage his own suicide.

And Ryuji just tried to push him away.

He lets his arms wrap around Akira tightly; not too tight, but enough to make sure he won’t slip away from him again. (Never again. Not if he can help it.)

“I’m glad you’re back,” he whispers. Tilting his head up, he stares at the soft lighting of Leblanc, forcing his lungs to breathe evenly—not for fear of losing his temper, but for fear of exposing the tears silently streaming down his face. “So fucking glad.”

Akira doesn’t answer. He only buries his face deeper into Ryuji’s shoulder.

Ann was right—Akira isn’t okay. Not for now, not for awhile. It’s up to Ryuji and everyone else in their group of friends to fix that. That’s fine. They’ll all take as long as they need. He isn’t okay right now, but he will be. They can work on that.

But one thing was clear.

I’m not going to lose him tonight.

====

Summer in Mementos is pretty gross.

Granted, it’s always nasty in here—there’s a perpetual air of moisture, like the inside of a whale, if Ryuji had ever been in one (he’s basing that off of an American movie Ann showed them last week; he didn’t even know it was possible for a fish to get lost in the ocean). There’s also the ongoing sound of trains passing by them on loop, and to him, trains are just inherently cramped and humid and always too sticky for his liking.

Of course, there’s the disgusting, weird amalgamated Shadows that litter every level of Mementos. At least in Palaces they sort of resemble something from the real world, but he guesses they didn’t even bother with these ones. The worst part of all this is that right now, it’s hot, but not hot enough for the Shadows to process a heat wave.

So essentially, they’re fighting with additional bucket loads of sweat, but with none of the usual reward that comes with it.

Well, not that they needed it.

“Fox.”

“As you wish.”

Yusuke’s boots skid to a halt as he points his katana at the fast-moving Shadow, the tip perfectly still. “Your assistance, Goemon.”

They’re on their weekly Mementos grind, the list Mishima keeps updating finally too long to ignore. (Akira hates it when things pile up. It’s a big reason why Ryuji hastily cleaned up every time he wanted to come over. Now though, he doesn’t even bother.)

The current All-Star team includes Yusuke, Makoto, Ryuji, and Akira, with the rest of them keeping a close eye in case they need a quick shift in strategy.

From his katana, black ice crawls in the ground beneath rusted train tracks, the air suddenly chilly despite the humidity that was there a moment ago. Frost shoots forward, encasing the legs of the Shadow only to shatter with a strong jerk forward. It roars, the ear-piercing sound causing the scattered debris around them to vibrate. Akira clicks his tongue.

Strong against ice. Easy fix. Ryuji mouths the words along with Akira when he says, “Panther, you’re up.”

“Finally!”

Ann darts in, high-fiving Yusuke as he rushes out. Ryuji can see Makoto pat Yusuke on the back, sympathy etched on her expression and Futaba mussing his hair. He always took it the hardest when he had to be switched out.

Akira’s gloved fingers brush the edge of his monochrome mask. “Come, Principality.”

As if a human version of justice has been summoned down to earth, the winged statue floats for a moment, eyes filled with scorn as she casts a simple, yet effective memory loss spell. The Shadow shakes its head aggressively. It works, but it won’t hold for long.

“Skull.”

“Don’t mind if I do!”

He grins and sprints right, squeezing into the Shadow’s blindside. It tries to twist around to take a swipe at him, but Ryuji is too fast—he slides right between its legs to confuse and disorient it. Once it seems like it completely lost sight of him, he raises his hand to grip the edge of his black mask. “Come on out, Captain!”

It’s a classic tactic; make the enemy lose focus, stun it, and stop it.

A pirate straight out of the Caribbean materializes from the embers of his mask—Captain Kidd in all of his glory regards the Shadow with a look of disdain before sparks fly from the hull of his ship, and an intense streak of lightning bursts forth, shocking its target like something from a regrettable movie about torture, knocking it down to the ground, a buzz perceptible even from here. He might have overdone it.

Ann whistles. “You didn’t even let me get a chance with it.”

“You can have the next million Shadows we bump into, I promise.” He calls Captain back into his mask, fragmented pieces forming together impossibly quick. “We good, Leader?”

Akira nods. “Just let me get the loot,” he smiles at Ryuji. “Awesome voltage on that last one, Skull.”

A grin stretches over his face before he can stop himself. He won’t deny it—getting a compliment from Joker was always something he filed away for later.

He’s too busy feeling pride surge through him that he can’t even bother to get ticked off when he hears Morgana scoff. “It doesn’t matter how good that attack was; he got in the way of Lady Panther’s finishing blow. That’s a crime in my eyes.”

“But doesn’t that just mean he saved her from doing anything?” Makoto raises an eyebrow. “Technically, he prevented any danger from befalling her, right?”

“Queen, as a gentleman, I have an obligation to tell you that that is a sexist notion.”

“You did not just say that.”

Something makes Ryuji pause. Immediately, his eyes flicker around them automatically. He tunes their chattering out, and finds himself tapping his foot, a slight jitter overcoming him. His nerves are trying to tell him something. Or maybe he’s imagining it? Is it just an aftershock from the intense lightning he cast out? No. It’s been too long since he’s had any problem with electric moves, and he’s never had problems from ones that he threw out himself.

Something was wrong, and he can’t put his finger on it.

He rattles his brain trying to figure out what it is. No one’s hurt, everyone’s safe and together. Well, mostly together, since Akira’s still approaching the Shadow—

A cold sweat drapes the back of his neck. Akira is still approaching the Shadow.

The Shadow hasn’t disintegrated yet.

“Akira—!”

The name slips past his lips, codenames forgotten. In slow motion, Ryuji sees Shadow’s body tense, its mouth frothing with what looks like liquid magma made from pits of hell—specializes in curse, and a strong one at that; Ryuji can feel the potency of its malignancy from where he’s standing. He watches as Akira stiffens, fingers twitching towards his mask, ready to retaliate, or at the very least, defend. And like a domino effect of bad luck, Ryuji feels bile rise to his throat.

Akira is good at what he does. Infuriatingly good. Took the whole Metaverse bullshit like a fish to water. But even he can’t switch Personas the same moment he summons them.

Principality would crumple like tissue paper against the Shadow. And Akira along with it.

You’re too late, a voice whispers in his head. You wouldn’t make it.

A heartbeat passes. And then Ryuji is flying.

It’s never too late, screams back something stronger, something unshakeable. Not ever. Especially not for him.

His boots hit the ground like the first strike of lightning amidst a storm—impossibly fast and unexpected. Lungs wheezing and legs throbbing, he crossed the distance in the span of a breath.

The Shadow throws the curse at Akira, red and black and filled to the brim with intensity, and Akira’s eyes can only widen, pupils dilated wildly to the point where there’s only black—a mirror of what’s about to hit him if Ryuji isn’t fast enough.

He doesn’t hesitate.

Ryuji shoves Akira, hard enough that he crashes onto the ground and he can hear the breath forcefully leave his lungs, and suddenly Ryuji can’t hear anything at all. His fingertips are fire and ice, his sense of surroundings have completely dissipated. Any energy in his body is being drained, like a dam cracked into millions of pieces—and all he’s left with is air. Vaguely, he can hear a choking noise, a broken sort of sound.

The blow is not just a violent one—it never is, with curse attacks. Instead of just feeling his skin bruised or blood running down his temple, he also feels himself get weaker, his mind growing heavier. An attack on the mind and body; a perfect cocktail of fucked up.

The last thing he sees before he loses consciousness is the glint from Akira’s knife slicing through the Shadow’s throat.

====

Tokyo is currently at a wicked thirty two degrees.

The sun radiates scorching temperatures down from the sky, the concrete eagerly absorbing every bit of its heat, making something akin to walking across hot coals. It’s hot enough that a mirage is visible to the naked eye. It’s hot enough that every ice cream store has a forty-minute line-up. It’s hot enough that no birds were flying, in fear that they may truly be fried by the sun above them.

Basically, it’s hot as hell.

“Ryuji-chan, pick up the pace!”

But Haru is more vicious than any conceivable temperature.

Looking like a survivor who was lost in the desert for several days, Ryuji lets out a half-garbled battle cry and sprints the last dozen meters. Haru clicks her stopwatch.

Sitting on a lovely lilac blanket, she tsks from underneath the shade. “Three seconds slower.”

“Ugh!” he collapses beside her on the cool grass. If she looks at him from a certain angle, she can see the steam positively radiating off of him. “I’m going to beat the living shit out of the sun.”

“You know I’d support you in anything you do, Ryuji-chan, but I don’t think you’d be fast enough to catch it,” Haru says. She hands him a cold water bottle. “Drink slowly.”

He rolls over so that he can squint up at her. “You’re mean.”

“I’m harsh,” she corrects, shaking the bottle in her hand. “There’s a difference.”

He takes it. “Have you done this before?”

“Helped someone train in running? No. But,” she rummages through her pastel pink tote bag, and proudly shows him a handful of books. He squints at them. “Since I’m so new to the group and everyone has such broad interests, I decided to try reading up on them! Did you know that drinking cold water after running results in less dehydration than drinking warm water?”

Ryuji stares at her. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For saying you’re mean. You’re not mean. You’re real nice, Haru.”

She smiles at him and pats his head, despite the overflowing heat and moisture settled on top. “You’re very sweet Ryuji-chan, but that’s not going to make me go easy on you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the tough-love kind of coach.” Ryuji sits up, cracking open the seal. Chugging down the water, he makes eye contact with Haru before slowing down substantially.

He dumps the rest of it on his head, sighing and shivering in relief. “That’s the good shit.”

“Why not wait for the sun to go down a bit?” she suggests. “The heat is really scorching, and there’s still plenty of time to keep training later.”

“Nah,” he stretches his arms behind his head before he stands again. “I gotta keep going while I still can.”

Haru frowns. “Overexertion isn’t going to help anyone.”

“Don’t you worry your fluffy head! I may be stupid, but I know when to stop when I gotta.”

“I really think you should rest for a bit.”

“I will when I’m done, I promise.”

“You looked rough in that last lap—”

“Haru,” Ryuji is grinning, but his tone leaves no room for argument. “I’m going to keep training.”

They stare at each other for a few moments, before Haru’s shoulder sags slightly. “Alright.” He’s about to say something when she cuts him off. “But only if you tell me why you’re so insistent.”

Ryuji shrugs. “If that’s what it’ll take to prove it to you, then sure. It’s kinda stupid, though.”

“I’m sure it’s not.”

“Oh, wait till you hear it,” he laughs, a little shy. “So you know how Mona and Futaba are, like, the Metaverse experts? And Makoto is the big brain? And Yusuke does the whole calling card part?” Haru nods, and he continues. “Well, I’m not really… anything. Ann already took the role of moral support and there’s no way in hell I’m the ‘brain’ in anything. Jeez, last time I picked up a paintbrush was in kindergarten. So I figured, I’d be the fast one, you know? The one that can get to someone fast enough to help them out.” Ryuji’s grin turns into something softer; less edge and more fond. It does something to her heart. “And if it’d help ‘Kira down the line, then it’d be worth it, right?”

Haru stays silent.

“Anyway! That’s enough of that cheesy shit.” He moves back to the track, running shoes scuffing at the concrete. “Wish me luck, maybe I can actually catch up to the sun this time. Teach it a lesson.”

“Ryuji.“

Looking back, he gives her a curious look. “Yeah?”

Haru hesitates.

I never once thought you were stupid. You’ve given so much more to the team than you can imagine. You have no idea how many times you’ve helped Akira without even lifting a finger.

“I have a cooler full of water behind me, so… please try your best out there.”

Ryuji gives her an enthusiastic salute. “Yes ma'am!”

He runs off, the sun continuing to beat down him relentlessly.

====

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ryuji knew they were all going to die someday. It’s inevitable. The circle of life, the winds of time, la vie en rose, etc.

He just didn’t expect it to happen at the age of 16, on the sinking cognitive ship of their next Prime Minister, wearing a wack-ass leather outfit surrounded by his panicking friends.

“We’re going to die!” Futaba wails, knees shaking uncontrollably to the point where she can hardly keep standing. “I don’t know how to swim!”

“It’ll be fine,” Akira spits through gritted teeth. He’s far tenser than anyone else, red gloves formed into fists and eyes constantly darting around to see what can save their lives. “We just need to focus.”

Makoto points to something on their right and shouts, “There! A lifeboat!”

Sprinting down the slowly escalating ramp, their eyes widen at the single lifeboat propped at the very top of the bow—which is slowly approaching a ninety degree angle. They all had one thought in their minds.

“We’re not going to make it in time,” Yusuke says, quietly.

Akira bangs his fist into a nearby column. “To hell with that. There’s no way I’m letting us die here.”

A heavy silence falls over them. The air is practically crackling with electricity and pure agitation, but there’s also a determination between all of that. Everyone’s overcome with a need to protect their friends and teammates, but they were at a loss of what to do. A quiet realization overcomes the group—there wasn’t going to be a miracle to save them.

Ryuji’s eyes land on Akira. He’s scanning the area, Third Eye activated but unable to pick up anything that isn’t the lifeboat. There’s no panic in his clear, gray eyes, but the terror in it is the most prevalent out of anyone present.

It hits Ryuji, all at once. The boy in front of him may be his age, and even younger than some members of their group, but he is undoubtedly the leader of the infamous Phantom Thieves. Every decision he made had led them here, in this moment, in their imminent death. And if he lets them all get taken, whether it’s through the ocean or the approaching explosions behind him, the truth of the matter is Akira feels that he would be responsible. That it’s his fault that a cognitive boat would take the lives of his friends.

Yeah. That’s not happening.

Ryuji clenches his eyes shut for a few seconds and slowly opens them. He begins to jump in place, hyping himself up.

“Skull…?” Haru asks, brows furrowing.

“Hang tight, guys,” he says, taking quick breaths. He can do this. “I’ll nab the boat.”

A chorus of gasps and heated objections rang through the air, and Akira steps forward, more shaken than Ryuji’s ever seen him. “No. Skull, please—”

Ryuji throws him a wobbly grin, more for Akira than himself. In one smooth motion, he jumps down and hits the ground running.

“No!”

Immediately, he feels his knees and thighs begin to protest, only intensifying the further he sprints up. For a minute, if Ryuji closes his eyes, he can imagine that he’s in a meet. A race. That the screams he hears behind him are his track mates, and not teammates, friends, best friends that would die if he failed to get to the boat fast enough.

He pushes himself even more.

It’s a miracle that he gets to the raft before his legs give out, and he feels a satisfying crank underneath his palms when he rotates the lever. As he throws a thumbs up at his friends, seeing them safe, healthy, alive, he feels relieved beyond words.

He makes eye contact with Akira, and he really should’ve expected the explosion that comes next.

====

His ceiling has seventy-nine plastic stars.

Ryuji stares up at it from his bed, arms crossed behind his head; they’d long since lost their cheap light. It was raining hard outside, enough to rattle against his window like pebbles calling for his attention. He ignores them.

It’s been years since he got those stars—dating all the way back in middle school. He got into a bad habit of sneaking out in the middle of the night to look at the sky from the roof of their apartment building. It scared the shit out of his ma when she finally caught him, scolded him to hell and back. By the end, they found a compromise: she’d buy him a crap ton from the hundred yen store, and they’d stick it up together. When they did, it kept falling down, so she went back and bought him a bottle of superglue. Now you can’t take them off, even if you tried to use a little scraper.

It bothered him, for a while. Young boys were cruel, and anyone who came to visit always poked fun of him for it. It wasn’t until he visited Akira’s room one day, saw how pleased he was that Yusuke bought them for him that he couldn’t help but revel at his own stars again, after all this time.

Ryuji twists his body sideways, ripping his eyes away from the plastic figures. Enough of that.

His eyes have long adjusted to the darkness that surrounds him, allowing a clear view of his room in the limited moonlight. Laundry splayed around his tatami mat from his sprints training today, gaming controllers scattered on the center table from when Akira came over a few days ago. That was a blast. He helped him beat a boss he’s been stuck on for weeks, and Akira beat it like it was nothing, it was the coolest shit ever—

Ryuji forces himself to flip over to glare at the wall. Sleep. That’s a better idea.

He takes a deep breath, forcing his breathing to go steady. There’s lots to do tomorrow—school is a drag, but they plan on meeting up at Leblanc afterwards. The thought allows his muscles to relax. Really, the atmosphere of Leblanc is just so pleasing to him. The warm lighting, the run-down booths, even the smell is a welcome presence. Well, that’s mostly because Akira drags it with him wherever he—

Slowly, his eyes open.

It always comes back to him, doesn’t it?

He rolls onto his back, in a position to stare at the stars again. The rain hammers on.

Ryuji’s a dumb kid.

It’s not a self jab, it wasn’t manifested by some sort of long-standing insecurity. It’s a fact. He’s never been good with a book, never done anything half-decent by picking up a pencil, his mind was never programmed to listen and retain information in long classes. It’s definitely not like he’s the brains of the Thieves, never a strategist of some kind. His ma encouraged him to take on a tutor in the past, and he’d rather bite a finger off than spend her money on wasted potential, so he found himself wandering the streets of Central Street as a way to pass time.

Ryuji’s a dumb kid, but even he knows he’s irrevocably, completely, stupidly in love with Kurusu Akira.

He sits up and ruffles his hair, frustrated. There are too many things wrong with that sentence, too many things that can go wrong because of that sentence. Of course, he finds the one thing that can mess up the unshakeable foundation that he and Akira built for each other. He must’ve really pissed off some God upstairs for him to have a hell-bent queer awakening with his best friend.

No, that’s wrong. It was the furthest thing from hell-bent—it was soft, it was gray, it was raining, and most importantly, it took its time.

They were halfway through Kamoshida’s Palace when Ryuji realized it; the sheer amount of power that hindsight gave him made him pause long enough to get clocked out by a Shadow.

Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It can’t matter, because he would never, ever do anything to fuck up what he has. Not again.

Wait, no, that’s not true. Even before Kamoshida, he’s never had something like this. He’s never had someone like him. He’s never had someone who’s so entirely on the same wavelength as him, who’d have his back even when his was against a wall. Kurusu Akira is…ethereal. Out of this world. Cool as fuck. (Hot as fuck, too.) If you lined up the entirety of Tokyo and told him he could pick one. One person out of the whole lineup to be his friend, he’d have his answer in a heartbeat.

See, now that isn’t something that changed with hindsight—Ryuji’s known that he’s been in love with Akira since before they completed Kamoshida’s Palace. And when he figured it out, he didn’t feel shock. His eyes didn’t widen, his heart didn’t start thumping like crazy. It’s more like he just scratched his head in a huh kind of way. It felt like his life had been waiting for that day in April, like everything was at a standstill until he finally met Kurusu Akira. It made sense. Everything just makes sense when Akira’s involved.

Which just makes this all the more fucked up.

He knocks his head back against the wall, eyes stuck on the raindrops’ rapidly moving shadows on his bedroom floor. Karma. That’s probably what’s happening. The world still hasn’t forgiven him for losing his shit, so they decided to make him pine for the only person that he can’t afford to lose.

He can’t even stomach the idea of trying to get over it, to try and put distance between himself and Akira. He spent a lifetime waiting for a miracle, for someone who didn’t know existed. He’s not giving up a single second of time with him. That’s probably why the world relentlessly shits on him; he’s selfish enough to keep the feelings that he has. But he can’t bring himself to regret that decision. Not with the way his breath hitches in his throat whenever Akira walks into the room.

Ryuji’s in love with his best friend, and there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it. He’s accepted it. Just like how the sky is blue, or that he well and truly hates Calculus. It’s a factor of life.

The rain seemed to fall harder, droplets sounding like rigorous hail against the windowpane. He lets out a long yawn.

Ryuji’s in love with his best friend, and there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

That’s not the reason why he can’t sleep at night.

Akira is a quiet guy. He gets his point across with as few words as possible, as if each letter costs him fifty yen to say out loud. So he speaks through his expression; a quirk of his brow, a tilt of his head, a certain smile is enough to carry half of the conversation.

And, every once in a while, Akira gets a look.

It comes up at the weirdest times—when the two of them baton pass in the Metaverse, when Ryuji eats ramen too fast and gets sick, when he helps an old lady cross the street. Plenty of times it’s because Ryuji is doing something incredibly stupid (like when he said that the square root of sixteen is six, because if you just get rid of the one, then that makes sense, right?), or when they’re laughing so hard neither of them can breathe. But sometimes it comes up in quieter moments, too. The two of them talking quietly in the attic at Leblanc, or when Akira confesses that he’s relieved Ryuji’s always there for him. (As if there would ever be a time where he won’t be.)

The look is subtle enough to miss but easy to find if someone knows what they’re looking for. The usual attentiveness that resides in Akira’s eyes disappears, in its place a softer gaze; his pupils get dilated, and the edge of his eyes get all crinkled like Valentine’s tissue paper. A half-smile rests on his lips, never quite turning into a full-blown grin, but that’s okay. For some reason, it all reminds Ryuji of the moon. Of soft moonlight. Of streetlamps on empty roads.

Ryuji’s in love with his best friend, and there’s a small, tiny, infinitesimal chance that his best friend might love him back.

His eyelids slide shut, though he knows that it won’t be enough to let him rest.

Realistically, he’s probably wrong. Akira isn’t in love with him, and he’s only seeing what he wants to see. With every eligible person seeming to fall in love with him at some point in time, how would it even be possible that Akira would love him?

He rubs his eyes, desperate to get rid of the unending fatigue that’s plagued him for months on end. It doesn’t work.

Bad excuse. Akira does love him, just like he loves everyone he encounters and befriends and ends up risking his life for. Ryuji’s surprised Akira hasn’t passed out yet, given his bleeding heart for the entire population of Tokyo.

Lightning flashes and thunder rumbles as he rubs his eyes harder.

But what if he wasn’t wrong? What if the signals he’s seeing aren’t based on misunderstood yearning?

When his eyes start to burn, his fingers move up to his hair.

There’s no way in hell he’d ever risk losing his best friend. His partner. His Akira. It’s not something he can gamble. It’s not worth it.

He begins to tug, hands shaking, and he can barely feel the sting of pain from nearly pulling his hair out his scalp.

It’s not worth it. He decided that in the very beginning.

Ryuji buries his face into his palms.

But he is so, so exhausted of being tired.

Lightning flashes, and for a split-second, his room is bright.

Fuck it.

By the time thunder rumbles through his apartment, he’s already out the front door.

His sneakers squelch against the wet concrete, soaking his unsocked feet. He’s sprinting fast enough that the street lights around him blur, and he can feel quick breaths getting pulled out of him. It takes him a few seconds to realize that he forgot to wear a raincoat, but he doesn’t care.

Akira is his best friend. Akira accepted him, flaws and all. Akira loves him, one way or another. That’s what held him back. He can’t risk losing that.

Ryuji quickly checks both sides before running across the street, wiping the rain off his brow, and keeps going.

But that’s what should’ve pushed him into confessing sooner. Because if that’s all true, then that can only ever mean that Akira would accept this part of him too, right?

He jerks out of the way as he almost barrels over a fire hydrant, making him step into a deep puddle. It doesn’t slow him down.

Maybe he would’ve realized it sooner if he wasn’t too fucking tired to think straight.

His lungs begin to complain, his breaths turning to wheezes, but he ignores it in favor of going faster.

Too late for that now. All the matters now is to talk to—

He skids to a halt.

In front of him—eyes wide, hair drenched, no shoes—stands Kurusu Akira.

Ryuji’s mouth falls open, and for a minute, he almost laughs. Of course. He should’ve known. Just as he’s willing to sprint to Akira at an unholy hour in the night…

He smiles sheepishly at him, and Ryuji feels his chest constrict in the loveliest way possible.

…Akira would do the exact same thing for him.

The rain slows, and the thunder ceases for a moment. The world pauses long enough for both of them to speak in the same breath, the same heartbeat:

“I’m in love with you.”

#fic tag #akiryu #pegoryu #fanfic #writing #ryuji sakamoto #akira kurusu #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #mine #desperate as that sounds #and yeah man thats a jon bellion song #fic

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mystic-kitten-writer · 5 years

Text

Limerence [M] ︳08

Pairing: Zuko x OC

Genre: Romance, mainly fluff with future smut, and if you squint hard enough - you’ll find some angst.

Rating: SFW

Words: 4100+

Notes: AHH - so this is by far one of my favourite chapters. Realistically, I’m well aware that there are plenty of well-written chapters, far better than this one, especially when I reflect on my newer writing. But this is the first chapter where my inner thirst slightly peaked through and I knew - I had to write smut in the near future. It’s also the chapter in which the plot thickens...I hope you enjoy loves <3

Masterlist ︳07 ︳09

❤ Buy me a coffee? ❤

Limerence: (English/n.) the state of being infatuated with another person.

The moment their eyes locked they knew - the flames within him twisted while the water within her turned. It was a connection, a connection that would lead to love, adventure, and drama.

Sphallolalia

(Greek/n.) Flirtatious talk that leads nowhere.

~ Ying Yue Jiang ~

The hot water felt pleasing against my skin, as my muscles relaxed and all of the excitement from the day seemed to melt away. The room was steamy, and I could barely see Suki and Toph who sat across from Katara and me. Suki and Katara sipped away on their glasses of wine, along with me, while Toph sat at the edge of natural hot spring, a beer in hand. We drunkenly giggled away as we gossiped amongst ourselves. Only the dim lights from the candles lit the room, as well as whatever light the stars cast through the glass walls and ceiling. It was a beautiful room and a perfect way to end one hell of a day.

Katara lazily rested her head upon my shoulder, “I'm sorry for everything…” she whispered once again for the hundredth time this day. I rested my head upon hers, “Don’t worry. I know you meant well. Everything worked out in the end, right?” It was true; everything did seem to work out in the end, although that statement did seem to undermine the number of things that suddenly had to be done. The moment I accepted my Imperial Consort Seal it set in motion an entire list of tasks and responsibilities.

Right away Zuko sent a hawk back to the Fire Nation, with word to prepare a celebration for our arrival. He explained to me that it was a tradition to celebrate, but especially so in this case since it was unexpected and it served as a relief for the council. But, I was more eager to tell the gang of the news, but in the end, I ended up being the surprised one. It turned out that this was something Zuko had talked over with everyone, so it wasn’t much of surprise as it was for me. Regardless, everyone was ecstatic that I agreed, as there was a consensus that it was the only way for us to move forward with our relationship, whatever that relationship was.

Although, the real treat was finally reconnecting with Katara. After a magnitude of apologies, we ended up hugging everything out. And thankfully, she was happy knowing that Zuko and I managed to figure something out. So glad, that she insisted on a spontaneous girls night to celebrate, which lead us to where we were now. A bit tipsy and relaxing in the hot springs late at night. The best way to end a day…

“How do you think Dad will be once I leave?” I asked Katara. She lifted her head off my shoulder and smiled, “He will be fine. A little sad to see you go, but I'm staying behind, remember? I'll keep an eye out for him.” I smiled and let my free hand play with the water, taking in the warmth. It was bizarre to think that this will be some of the few moments I'll have here, in the Southern Water Tribe. Yet, the thought of venturing out was thrilling; I would finally be free, and experience things I only dreamed. But more importantly, I would be with Zuko. Gosh, I'm such a romantic.

“So Fire Nation Royalty, have you two consummated yet?” Suki said with a giggle. I was certain I looked completely bugged eyed as I almost spat out my wine. Toph burst out laughing, hearing me cough as I choked. “Suki!” I cried out, flushed. “I just said we aren’t dating, let alone doing that!” Toph snorted, “You don’t need to be in a relationship to do that, Princess.” Toph said so matter of factly that I could feel my mouth drop. Suki giggled and gave me a look, a look that meant that we all drank a little too much, well at least these three ladies.

I could feel myself shrink farther and farther into the water, wondering how we always managed to make it to the topic of sex, or anything related to that field. I could see Katara also blushing madly, “Gosh, shouldn’t that stuff remain private.” Katara muttered as she sipped away on her wine. I giggled; Katara indeed was the definition of a prune. Although I wasn’t as laxed as Suki or Toph, I wasn’t naïve. How could I be a naïve liking Zuko? Just remembering the playful banter between us two caused me to smile, but the way his fingers delicately danced on the skin of my neck…

“So you are telling me, that you never wondered, not even a tiny bit, about how the guys are in bed?” Suki questioned Katara. I snapped myself awake; I'm thinking a bit too much about Zuko’s fingers. Katara shook her head, “N-no! You nasties, one of them is my brother, and I'm dating the other!” Katara said quickly.

“Hello, you still got Zuko!” Suki retorted back.

Katara was the one who looked bugged eyed this time, “My sister likes him, I can’t fantasize about him!” I giggled, and playfully bumped in Katara’s shoulders, “Don’t worry I'll tell you how he is for you.” I said kittenishly. Suki burst out laughing, along with Toph, proud that I was partaking in this conversation, the wine has officially taken over. “Told you so, give it like, three days tops, and you’ll find the information you need Katara,” Toph said between fits of laughter. Katara groaned loudly and took another large gulp of wine. “What do you mean three days tops?”

Suki rolled her eyes, “Come on; even Katara can tell that it just a matter of time.” I blushed, but before anything more could be said, we were distracted by the sound of a door opening and closing shut. Aang waltzed into the room, and quickly started to bend the steam away from himself, “You guys seem to be enjoying yourself.” He started as he watched us giggle away like a bunch of children. “What’s got you girls all giggly?” Aang asked, curious.

Within seconds Katara stood up, although it was clear she was struggling to keep herself balanced. “Absolutely nothing interesting.” She said quickly, a bit too quickly. Aang raised a brow and walked towards Katara, holding her steady. Suki rolled her eyes and took a small sip from her wine, “I thought it was interesting…I think he will be rough.” Suki said with a very obvious wink towards me. I could see Aang stiffen as his face redden, and not from the steam in the room, “Rough?” Aang repeated hesitantly. It turns out Katara isn’t the only prune here. Katara blushed and gripped her head tightly, “I think we drank a bit too much…” She groaned.

Aang helped Katara out of the hot spring, and with one swift motion, pushed all the steam aside to one corner of the room, “Sorry to be the party pooper, but I’m pretty sure being drunk and near water screams for trouble.” He said as he helped Katara dry off and wrap a towel around her. Here comes Dad mode; in three…two…one…

“Suki, I'm going to get Sokka to help you. Yue, I'm getting Zuko. And Toph stay put, I'll come after I put Katara in bed.” Toph waved her hand, dismissing Aang’s orders, and stood up. She wrapped a towel around her shoulders as she reached over to grab one last beer, “I'm fine, it's these lightweights here that are going to need the help.” With that, she walked out the door, off to her bedroom most likely. I swear this girl could drink a barrel and be unfazed.

Quickly, I stood up and grabbed my towel, “Don’t worry Aang, I'm fine!” I said hastily. The last thing I wanted was Zuko to come and see me in my bathing suit. Any other day I couldn’t care less, but after that conversation, I prefer to save myself the embarrassment. Aang looked over me hesitantly, before nodding his head in defeat and dashing out the door with Katara.

I looked over to see Suki was also out the water and drying herself off, “I'm not drunk.” Suki grumbled under her breath. I laughed and began walking towards the door, “You know Aang…” I said as I opened the door. Suki huffed and trailed behind me, “I swear, between Aang and Katara, who needs parents?” I nodded my head in agreeance, a more accurate state than that has never been said.

We walked out of the room and began walking down the hallway to our bedrooms, and I could see Sokka jogging towards us. “Aang said you were a bit tipsy.” He said with a grin as he swiftly grasped Suki’s arm to keep her steady. Suki rolled her eyes but held onto Sokka nevertheless, “I'm not drunk, just a little bit happy.” She said. Sokka chuckled and shook his head, “You sound like me. That means you are drunk.” I snickered as we continued walking down the hallway.

“And you didn’t drink?” Sokka said as he gazed over to me.

“I drank a little bit, but not as much as those three. I have a reputation to uphold now.” I grumbled, which was not exactly a lie. Sokka nodded his head, understanding what I meant. Now with my new title, there were a bunch of do’s, and dont’s that I had to adhere. Public intoxication was a huge no-no. Sokka opened his bedroom door open and helped Suki walk in. I turned to head to my bedroom, but Sokka’s voice stopped me, “Hey Yue…” He trailed off. He never calls me Yue…

I turned around and smiled, “What’s up?” Sokka smiled and bashfully looked at his feet, “I'm sorry about everything that happened. I should have stepped up.” I looked up at him surprised, “It was just a big misunderstanding. We are all happy- I'm happy, trust me.” I said softly. Sokka looked up and smiled, “I'm just glad everything worked out in the end. And if you need anything let me know, you know we got your back-” I could hear Suki crash into a wall from inside the bedroom. We both looked at each other, and slowly large grins started to appear. I couldn’t help but laugh as Sokka scratched his head, “Let me re-phrase, we always got your back starting tomorrow. Tonight is a no-go.”

I smiled and bid him goodnight, feeling slightly sorry for Aang and Sokka, they’re definitely going to have one hell of a night. I went inside my bedroom, and in a matter of minutes, I had already washed up and prepared for the night. The wine slowly starting to take effect, and a sense of sleepiness beginning to overcome me. I should really start having a glass of wine before bed; it's better at making me sleepy than tea… I sat at my vanity and began mindlessly brushing my hair. Mid stroke, a soft knock stopped me. My eyebrows pinched together, and I gazed towards the door, who would knock at this hour of the night, did Sokka or Aang need help? I placed my brush down and quickly slipped on my robe, before opening the door.

“Zuko?” I said surprised. Zuko leaned against my doorframe, undoubtedly dressed for bed as well. His black hair was let loose and fell down his shoulders. I really need to get hair advice from this man… He smiled softly, “I didn’t wake you, did I?” He asked. I nodded my head, “No, I was getting ready for bed. You need something?” I asked as I tied my robe. Zuko stood up straight and scratched the back of his neck, “I was wondering if you can come to my room for a minute. I want to show you something before you go to bed.”

I titled my head to the side and made a mental note, maybe a little bit of time away from Suki and Toph would do me good, as the moment Zuko asked me to go his room I immediately went straight to the dark side. I blushed slightly, taken off guard at his question and Zuko chuckled, “Not like that, I mean unless you want to, then, by all means, you are welcomed.” Zuko teased. I slapped his arm and pushed him back to step out in the hallway, “Well, when you ask someone to go to your bedroom in the middle of the night what else are they suppose to think?” I shot back.

Zuko laughed and directed me towards his room, “Maybe…this?” He finished off as he opened the door. My eyes widened the moment I took in at exactly what Zuko had wanted me to see. Zuko had lit the small fireplace that was placed off in the corner in his guest room, and on top of the coffee table were two mugs, hot cocoa. There were blankets set on the couch directly across the fireplace, and I couldn't help but be completely overwhelmed with happiness. “You did…this…for me?” I asked, speechless.

Zuko gently nudged me forward to the couches, before shutting the door closed behind him. “You don’t think me giving you that Imperial Seal was your gift, do you? I had to make it up to you somehow, and something told me that anything with hot cocoa was a safe route.” I must have looked like a child because I couldn’t help but clap in excitement as I observed the tasty drinks, “And you made it yourself?” I asked.

“Well…I tried the first time, and that didn’t go so well. So I asked Lia and Kima for some assistance.” I laughed and slowly walked over to Zuko, gently placing my hands on his chest, “Thank you, I truly mean it.” I said tenderly as I looked at his eyes. Gosh, I could get lost in those eyes… Zuko smiled warmly, as he nudged his head over to the couch, “Let’s relax. Aang told me you and the girls had a bit of fun tonight. Hopefully, this can sober you up a bit.”

I groaned and waltzed over to the couch with Zuko. “I'm not drunk, why is Aang such a worry wart,” I whined. Zuko plopped on one end of the couch while I sat on the other end, but Zuko patted his lap. I titled my head, confused, “Put your feet up; you are freezing, I can warm you up.” He said. I blushed, but at this point, I was too tired to argue. I raised my legs and let them lay across the couch, letting my feet rest on Zuko’s lap. He quickly tossed the thick blankets over us, before handing me my cup. It was the library all over again, except this time, there was no speculation about our feelings.

I sipped away blissfully on the drink, as I felt the way Zuko’s hand delicately drew random shapes and lines on my ankles, warmth radiating off his hands. His fingers were so light as if he was afraid that he would burn my skin, but his touch was tempting. I smiled and let my head fall against the side of the couch, just basking in his touch. It felt so right, sitting here, with him, enjoying the night. It was crazy to think that just moments ago I wanted nothing to do with him.

“Enjoying yourself?” Zuko said with a chuckle. I hummed softly and smiled at him, “You’re going to make me fall asleep at this rate.” I said with a light laugh. Zuko shook his head and smiled largely, “You just got here! We didn’t even talk.” I grinned and took another sip, “So what do you want to talk about so eagerly?” I said playfully. Zuko laughed and continued doodling aimlessly on my ankle. “Hm, there’s so much I still don’t know about you.” Zuko stared. I raised a brow at him, “Is that so? What could you possibly want to know?” I asked curiously, interested as to what he would want to know about me.

“Hm, your bending…or that tattoo of yours…” Zuko spoke delicately.

“You have to pick one or the other. Like I said before, I have to have one secret.” I said mischievously. Zuko laughed and shook his head, “Tell me about your bending, I’ll eventually see that tattoo of yours.” He said confidently. So confidently, it took me a minute to realize what he was implying. I raised a brow, “See my tattoo eventually? Someone here sounds quite confident in that statement.”

Zuko grinned, “You aren’t as naïve as I thought.” He spoke as he took a sip from his cup. I huffed and placed my mug down, “What made you think I was naïve?”. Zuko chuckled deeply, different from his usual light-hearted manner. “Because it’s easy to tease you-” He started. Although I could feel his hand slowly trail up my leg.

“Easy to make…” - his hand gently caressed my calf.

“you…” - he leaned over just a bit, close enough that I could see his golden eyes darken.

“blush.” He finished, his hand stopping right at my knee.

My face was rosy, entirely overwhelmed by him. My heartbeat was going crazy, unknowingly responding to every word and every touch. He has me wrapped around his fingers, and he knows it, oh, Zuko knew all too well what he was doing. As gentle and sweet as he was with me, he always managed to have this sense of power. Zuko was always in control, being dominant, even times where he was ‘relaxing,’ he was always a step ahead. It was evident this was how Zuko was born; born to be a leader, command attention. And as shameful as it was to admit, I loved it. Every single second of it. I may be sweet, but I was never one to submit, but if Zuko oh so dared told me to do so, I would ultimately come undone.

I bite my lip anxiously, trying desperately to control my heavy breathing. Was it the wine, or maybe I want a taste of those pouty lips. Zuko smirked and calmly pulled back. Leaning his back once again against the couch, fingers dancing along my ankles; as if nothing had happened. But I could still see the satisfied smirk that played along with his lips; he wasn’t an idiot, he knew all too well what he was doing and how it was affecting me. I realized that although I wasn’t naïve, I was an untouched delicacy to him.

I lifted the blankets and snuggled tightly against them, pressing them close to my body. And I thought I could play his game of teasing; this asshole has me beat! Zuko chuckled amused, watching me struggle to think of my next plan of action. “Would you like to go to the market with me tomorrow?” He casually asked, trying to save my pathetic ass. Is this guy really going to act like nothing happened? I smiled sweetly and squirmed underneath the blankets, but to fair, I should be thankful he is ignoring the obvious...

“I wouldn’t mind…I have to go shopping anyways.” I said, softer then I attended, realizing that the wine was truly starting to wear me down. Feeling the warmth from his touches and the fireplace, I felt cozy and content. “Shopping for what?” Zuko asked. I leaned against the couch once again, gently closing my eyes. “For your family…I want to buy something for your Uncle, Mom, Step-Dad, and your little sister…” I mumbled. I didn’t need to have my eyes open to tell he was surprised, “You don’t have to do that.” I groaned and shook my head, “I want to…I want them to like me.” I said softly.

Sleepiness was starting to take over, gosh, from giggles to flirting, to sleeping? I need to stop drinking wine... Zuko sighed and gently patted my leg, “They are going to like you, trust me. What is there not to like?” He asked. I shrugged my shoulders, too tired to argue, as I tucked the blankets under my chin. “I don’t know…” I trailed off. Zuko chuckled and gently shook me, “Are you falling asleep?” Zuko asked quietly, I could feel the shift in weight, as he was most likely leaning over me.

I nodded my head and let out a pleasant hum, “Let me take you to your room…” Zuko started, but I groaned in annoyance. And to be honest, I don’t know what happened next. At that point, I let the wine do its thing. Whether or not Zuko got me back to my room or not, will remain a mystery until tomorrow. I never felt cozier in my life, just cuddled up on the couch with Zuko’s warm faint touches. I felt safe, and within seconds I was off to dreamland…I can freak out in the morning…

~ Unknown ~

His eyes were heavy, as they fluttered open and closed, sleepiness trying desperately to consume him. Slapping his leg, he shook his head, knowing better than to fall asleep on the job. He had one task, and one only, keep at eye out for anything unusual. Whatever that meant, was left to the unknown. For days, he and a few other men stayed crouched in the bushes, staying hidden as they observed day and night. It was clear that tonight was going to be like any other night, wholly uneventful and fruitless.

Just as his eyes were about to flutter shut once again, he caught sight of it. A majestic bird, wearing clothing probably more expensive than his own, soaring through the air. It was clear the bird was tired, as the bird was gliding through the air lowly, rather than high into the night sky. All sense of tiredness left the man’s body, and suddenly he realized that this was the unusual thing he was meant to keep an eye out. “Pst, up there!” He whispered harshly to his partner, whose eyes quickly shot open upon hearing the news that they may have caught something. “Well don’t just stare at it! I'll catch the damn thing, and you go notify the boss!” He grumbled back, stumbling quickly to his feet.

The man nodded, and he quickly scrambled to their boss. He barely took a few steps before he could hear his partner’s glorified cheer, “Easier then I thought, the poor bastard was hungry.” The man said behind him, as he quickly ran with the Hawk in a net. He could hear the bird desperately trying to fly away, realizing that the fruits were bait, but it was pointless.

They knew they reached home-base, as it was a damp cave, completely isolated and well hidden from people. Although everyone knew the chances of running into people here would be close to impossible, no one lived on these islands for years since the genocide. “Boss, we found something!” The man shouted. Right away everyone in the cave went silent, as they turned to face her.

She stood up from her seat and hastily walked towards the men. It was a common fact that you never speak to her unless granted permission. Therefore, whatever news these men had, better be good. “Found what?” She hissed out. The man pointed behind him, towards his partner who gripped the bird, but more importantly, the letter attached to the bird. “It was a messenger hawk.” The man spoke. Her eyes narrowed, examining both men and the bird before she outstretched her hand. Without hesitation, they dropped the note on her palm, and she eagerly read the letter.

Her eyes widened before a playful smile danced upon her lips. “Attach the note back, and let it resume its travels. Everyone else, get ready to leave.” She shouted quickly. No one dared question her authority as everyone scrambled to their feet and began packing to depart. Her attention reverted to the two men standing in front of her, “Guess you aren’t as useless as I thought.” She hummed.

Both men looked at her, bowing and giving thanks, despite the back-handed compliment. They knew it could have been worse. “Where are we going to?” One of the men asked; a bold question given who he was asking it to. Her eyebrow raised slightly, amused that he would dare speak out of term, “It’s time to make our move…and I think a few people would love to join.”

The man was confused by what she meant by make our move, but before he could ask more, she turned on her heel and left. Although, it was probably a good thing, given that she wasn’t known to be patient, and when annoyed, she often killed.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Avatar characters portrayed in this story besides Ying Yue Jiang, Lia, Kima, and any future creations.

❤ Buy me a coffee? ❤

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irishtowriteabook · 5 years

Text

🌸Jealous -David+Natalie

A longwinded starter of a multitude (or should I say multiDUDE cause I’m cool) of fanfics.

-English isn’t my first language-

Summary: After the whole Ilya confessing his feelings to Natalie thing David struggles to withhold his “pshhh” attitude. And in turn develops an attitude. David Dobrick essentially turns into a David Doprick for tidbit.

—

Jason was making some semi self deprecating jokes but despite their hilarity and golden vlog material David couldn’t focus. His gaze constantly flitted over towards the view finder in his worse for wear camera that was in a precarious position atop the dashboard. His viewers on Tuesday or Wednesday or whatever-day he uploaded this would probably think he was checking himself out or lost in thought. He wasn’t. Hah! He was looking at them, Natalie and Ilya, laughing up a storm in the backseat. Storm Katrina who?

Their laughter was so loud it probably broke the sound barrier. Ilya was still somewhat erratic due to the drugs in his system and either Natalie found his hijinks cute or she had entered protective friend mode, David couldn’t tell anymore, he just couldn’t read her lately. And that frustrated him more than the time where his video editing programme crashing and his early morning work had vanished. Just like that.

“And Jeff goes up to the girl at the counter playing the whole good son act: Ah yes ahem my dads getting old and it’s hard seeing him that way but someone has to take care of him you know? And I suppose he thinks I don’t hear him, that I’ve actually got deaf like he said I had and-“ David tuned Jason out and fiddled with his camera now, craning it around the car towards the backseats so as to capture the twos reactions. They however were much too caught up in some whispered joke.

A slightly audible gulp left David’s throat as he watched Natalie through the view finder. Her head tilted back, showcasing her smooth neck and chest, as she giggled wholeheartedly. Pangs formed in David’s already weighty chest. ‘Why can’t I ever make her laugh like that?’ She looked like she was glowing today! And that wasn’t because of that highlighter shit, she was just- she was just stunning.

All of a sudden Natalie’s deep brown eyes met his over the rim of the camera and she shot a small smile at David as Ilya flopped down against her shoulder, grumbling. David’s heart ached as her smile visibly faltered as he didn’t return one. A snap sounded in the car due to the forceful shutting of the camcorder, David now fully turned around.

This abruptness caused even a dazed Ilya to quieten down. Jason kept his eyes mostly on the road but glanced towards David’s general direction, shifting his hands on the drivers wheel. “Uh you okay Dave? I wasn’t finished my bit. Your subscribers will be left on the edge of their seats!” He said with his signature wheezy laugh. David tucked himself into the innermost corner of the car seat and just fumbled with the holding string piece off his camera. “I have enough footage. It’s cool.” He muttered with a half arsed grin. Jason looked through the parking mirror to Natalie.

Her brows were furrowed as she watched David, not paying attention to Ilya who was pressing his entire tongue against the back window at oncoming traffic. Jason hitched his eyebrows once before returning his focus to the road. The rest of the ride was mostly silent except from the whispers of Natalie and Ilya and Ilya’s nonsensical mumblings.

—

The very moment the car came to a standstill David was rushing out the door, so fast the door hinges very nearly gave way. “Gotta edit. Help yourselves to some drinks.”

Jason turned around almost immediately to face Natalie despite the constraints of the belt digging into his chest.

Even in the cover of the night he could clearly see she already seemed deep in thought. “What’s uh- what’s going on with David tonight eh? Stress?” Jason questioned and allowed Ilya to play with his hair. “I don’t know.” She drummed her fingers and pouted her lips a bit. “He seemed fine up until after Ilya’s wisdom tooth removal.” Natalie leans forward, her eyebrows still creased in genuine worry. “I’m going to go after hi-“ She was cut off by a drawn out “Natalieeee” from a drowsy Ilya. Nat paused in her movement and looked to Jason for a little help. He nodded towards her with an understanding smile. “You go, I’ve got this- Come on sleepyhead”

“Hey Dave!” Natalie paused as she swung around the ledge of the door into David’s room where he lay splayed out on the bed. He didn’t respond, instead just moving his toned arms to cover his eyes and forehead area. “..Want a drink? I’m getting Ilya some water to flush out the bloo-“ “Nah but thanks.” Natalie was taken aback by his not necessarily rude but unusually blunt response.

She leant her head tiredly against the wood and watched him carefully. Down the hall there was an uproar of laughter as Ilya entertained the other squad members arriving on the scene. Just as David thought she had left she spoke again. “Listen David I know it’s been a long day but I feel like something else is bothering you. I’m your friend too, not just your assistant.” A pained scoff left David’s throat, now he’s been downgraded the friend? “I’m fine, Natalie. Just tired is all. I just want some space..can you do that?” And for the first time in a long time Natalie was at a loss for words.

Her frown pierced his skin through his hoodie and she pursed her lips, something she always did when she was annoyed. It just didn’t make sense. He always wanted people around him, talking or not. “Sure. I’ll be in the kitchen with the others.” She quipped shortly after a few seconds of silence and took a sharp turn on her heel towards the kitchen.

Eventually the chatter and laughter faded as the gaggle of vloggers moved over into the living room. It was then, and only then, that David removed his arms from over upper face. His eyes were shiny and glistened in the dark of the room with unshed tears. He muttered a curse and stared at the spot where Natalie once stood.

David sniffled and harshly rubbed his nose with the palm of his hand before opening his laptop up, connecting the camera cords and transferring the files. His eyes stung as her pushed himself through the editing process. And then he stopped. A clip lay there, one he couldn’t look at till now. The bit about Ilya confessing his fucking feelings. David couldn’t- David couldn’t help but notice the way Natalie was looking at Ilya as he slowed it down, in awe almost. “Shit.” David whispered as a singular tear trailed down his cheek.

—

Natalie tried to focus on Zane’s video ideas, she really did, but her eyes kept drifting off down the hallway where David still residing. “I can’t wait for David to hear these man!” Zane chuckled and the various heads nodded. Here it comes. “Hey speaking of, where is David? Haven’t seen him all night. You didn’t leave him in Chicago did you?” Heath wondered and draped an arm around his girlfriend as all eyes turned to Natalie. “Oh uhm he’s a bit tired, you know how it is. All the..travelling.” She smiled.

“We’ll leave him rest up then. Can’t get that coin without the creator!” Heath suggested with a laugh. “Who wants more drinks?!” Zane exclaimed and danced over animatedly to the countertop. Whoops and hollers left the mouth of most people in the room, the rest too hungover, passed out or worried about David.

—

Did they even notice he was gone? Did they even want him around? As a friend, not a medium of income. Did Natalie even want to be here? All these thoughts buzzed through David’s head despite his attempts to just..silence them. His computer was now strewn away to the side as sat on the edge of his bed, palms digging into his eyes with his elbows on his knees.

With a hefty sigh he dragged himself out of bed and crept out the door towards the kitchen. His heart tugged in his chest as he noticed Natalie pressed up against Ilya on the couch. Everyone’s attention was on Ilya, grasping on his comedic tales. No one noticed David. Or so he thought.

Natalie got a sinking feeling as she took heed of a forlorn looking David, watching as he sneaked into the kitchen.

“Are you going to talk to me then hm?” David almost jumped out of his skin as Natalie’s voice piped up from behind him. He pretended to continue looking in the presses just so he didn’t have to face her. “What do you mean?” He faked a laugh, his nervousness seeping through. He stuffed a biscuit into his mouth, one that he doesn’t like she realised, before turning around. Natalie stood there looking far too cute in her pajama shorts and black top with her crossed arms and tapping impatiently foot.

Natalie stormed up to him and plucked the biscuit packet away from him. “You don’t even like these!” She spluttered out and slammed them onto the counter. ‘How do you even know what I like and don’t like? You’ve been so busy with Ilya lately it’s like I wasn’t there too.’

“Great. Now my biscuits are going to be all crumbly.” David pouted. Natalie in the meantime looked like she either wanted to rip her hair or his hair out in utter frustration. She stepped forward to him and stared him down. “What. Is going. On?” Natalie questioned stonily, her brunette hair sticking out from her earlier anxious ruffling.

David froze as he could almost feel her breaths and angry huffs on the skin of his chest. “I-I dont know what you want me to say Nat- is it still okay if I call you that?” Natalie was outright confused at his words. “Of course it’s okay? Stop diverting the subject!”

“You’re worrying too much. I’m fine, exhausted but fine!” He laughed flatly and bravely placed his hands on her shoulders. A burst of pain shot through his veins as she shrugged off his hands. It brought back memories as to how she’d always be so affectionate with Ilya and Zane and yet shied away from his hugs on video. Usually that wouldn’t upset him but shit. “David!” The pair were interrupted by a grinning Carly as she bounced on in. “Good to see you! Just grabbing a drink!” She said brightly. Natalie didn’t face her, instead she kept her gaze locked on David who smiled at Carly. The moment Carly went however David’s smile dropped. And Natalie seen that.

“Dave..” She sighed out as he shuffled past her, blank faced. “Go have fun Na-“ David’s words got caught in his throat as she latched onto his hand and tugged him back to look at her. “Have I done something wrong? Why won’t you look at me? Did I mess up when I was recording you and Ily?” Ily? Nickname stage. Great. David stole a look at Natalie and studied her worried face, feeling all shades of bad over being the cause of her discomfort. She should be out there with her- their friends.

He gently pulled back from her vice like grip and she let her hand fall slowly to her side. “I’m going to bed okay? I’ll see you in the morning or something like that, I’ve got a lot of editing to do so I might be in my room all day. Go out with the gang though. Enjoy yourself! Go wild!” He plastered on a smile. Natalie hitched an eyebrow at him and recrossed her arms, shifting her weight on the balls of her feet.

“You’ve done your editing though? We just watched your video inside there?” Natalie said and saw David’s arm go back to scratch at his neck. “Second channel stuff. You know? It takes ti-“ “No I don’t know David! I’m not a vlogger. I usually just help you choose which bits are the best bits. Usually! Tonight you can’t seem to get away from us fast enough, from me.” David opened his mouth to respond as he finally gained the courage to meet her eyes.

Hurt and confusion and despair swum in them and he had never felt so much guilt. Not even when Jonah felt into the pool off the motorcycle. “Nat I-“ “No, forget it. You call me when you need me, boss.” Natalie replied sarcastically and saluted him, sauntering off, doing her best to maintain her composure. She hated when David was mad at her. She missed him and his smile and his jokes and his laugh and it had only been a few hours. Felt like an eternity though.

—

David sniffed as he tapped through the Instagram stories of his friends; laughing, joking, dancing, food tasting reviews. A knock on the door shook him out of his- I don’t even know what.

Natalie crept in, avoiding looking at his vest (barely) covered torso or him as he sat up in his bed. She edged the door to a close with her foot before setting the tray of breakfast foods down on his seemingly constantly clouded nightstand. “You didn’t need to Natalie. I was going to make my own in a little while.” David said, subdued. “No you weren’t, I know when you’re lying to me Dobrik. We have been friends since kindergarten after all.” She shrugged and straightened back up, his eyes following her every shuffle. Natalie seemed so down this morning and although David felt his distancing wouldn’t affect her enough to cause it, it was. He thought she wouldn’t notice.

“I’ve cleared your schedule for today. Told everyone you were sick so we’ll be staying at home.” She murmured and looked everywhere but at him. “We?” David unknowingly voiced his thoughts aloud and she looked at him as if shocked he was even asking that. “Yes Dave! We! You and me!” She snapped. Her eyes grew sad as she noticed his posture once again deflate and his eyes sink downwards. Natalie tugged the covers off of him and flung open his wardrobe doors seeing an array of black clothing. “Come on. Get up and get dressed. You might feel a bit better and get out of this funk you’re in. Are you frustrated about videos? Is that it?” She pondered and riffled through the hangers as David stood beside her. “You go relax, I can take care of myself” David spoke gently, his husky morning voice sending shivers down her spine. “No.” Natalie spoke vehemently and sifted through the hangers with more force than before, eventually yanking some band shirt and baggy sports pants out and laying them on his bed.

“This isn’t a vlog David. You don’t have to condense all your feelings down in 4 minutes and 20 seconds. Not with me. I’m here to listen to whatever is bothering you-“ David opened his mouth “-Ah ah ah! And I know something’s bothering you. I’m here as long as you need me. I want to be here. So I really really don’t get why you’re acting like I’m some stranger.” Natalie said as she shut his wardrobe door closed.

“Nat-“ David tried to intercede. “No David!” “Nat!” He tried again but she shook her head as she pushed past him softly to grab his duvet, doing her best to ignore the stinging feeling of tears in her eyes.

This time round however it was her breath that caught in her throat as David’s strengthy arms slipped around her core, tugging her against him. And just like that her stoic posture just melted like butter against him. David was cautious that she’d pull away but as she quietly wrapped her arms around his neck he took that as the go ahead to tighten the hug. Natalie was so warm and soft against him, her faded perfume filling his senses.

Natalie let her nails scrape against the nape of David’s neck and a smile snuck on her face as a small hum escaped his mouth. She loved the feelings of his arms around her, so secure and safe. His five o clock shadow was scratchy against her cheeks but she didn’t care. What she did care about however was how this feeling was barely familiar to her. ‘How long has it been since I’ve hugged him?’ Thinking back she could clearly remember the awkward embraces shared with Zane and Ray and Ilya but..David? Nope.

Natalie pressed herself flush against him and ensured that there was no space between them. She wanted to get closer and closer and- “God I’ve missed you Nat.” David groaned out, his lips tickling the skin of her neck that his face was now pressed into. Her eyes fluttered to a close as his thumb gently scraped and rubbed a slip of showing skin from her short sleeved black top. “Have I not been here Dave? Hm?” Natalie murmured and leant back just slightly to meet his eyes. “I-“ He adverted his eyes but she grasped the left side of his face firmly and stroked his cheek with her thumb. The other arm stayed locked around his neck.

“You have been here yeah. But so has everyone else. I guess I’m just used to having us time. Do you get me? Do I sound selfish? I’m sorry, I’m not good at this whole sharing feelings thing.” He whispered. “Yeah I can tell!” She breathed jokingly hoping to get a real smile out of him. He managed a tiny one in her direction. Her heart fell.

“Oh David-“ Natalie pressed a kiss to his cheek before moving to his ear to whisper, smiling as she felt him freeze. “You’re my best friend. Okay? Only you! Not Casandra, not Erin, not Ilya, you.”

David leant back, a grin steadily forming on his lips, of which she struggled not to stare at. “You mean that?” He stuttered out, vastly happier. An affectionate smile took over Natalie’s face as his eyes lit up more and more. Natalie took a second to just admire the man, sliding her thumb across his jawline as her eyes flitted from one of his eyes to another. “Of course I do, David” She smiled and reluctantly pulled back as he pulled back.

“It doesn’t make it okay that instead of talking to me you just blanked me and everyone though.” David looked even more guilty at her words but nodded along as they needed to be said. “I’m sorry Nat. I really I- I am. I wasn’t thinking and even that’s not an excuse.” He fumbled with his pants pockets. Natalie softened as the sincerity shone in his eyes.

“Cmere dork. It’s okay, I forgive you! I still love you even though you can be a major dick.” Natalie giggled and pulled David against her once more.

‘I’ll show you.’

—

Until next time! Comments or likes are appreciated if you’re able to spare the time! -Ella x

#david dobrik #vlog squad #datalie #david x natalie #datalie fanfiction #jealousy #jealous david dobrik #natalie noel #natalie mariduena #David Dobrik #vlogsquad #vlog squad fanfiction #david and natalie

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dontreadthistrashgarbage · 5 years

Text

Pt.1

"Is that foreigner the manager from that viral video?" Byeongkwan wondered aloud as a new boy group and their staff hustled down the hall to their waiting room.

The other boys of A.C.E craned their heads to look after the receding backs of the rookies. "It has to be right? There's not exactly a lot of foreigners that work as managers." Chan said thoughtfully.

"What video? What?" Jun asked, clueless as to what his younger members were talking about. Seyoon and Donghun turned back as well as Byeongkwan pulled out his phone.

"This video went viral last week cause a sasaeng tried to grab a member but their manager stepped in." He pulled up the clip and showed it to his hyungs.

The video showed the rookie group making their way into a building when someone rushed up and grabbed one of the younger members, he didnt look to be older than maybe fifteen. Before the boy had any chance to react beyond an obvious expression of fear, a tall female foreigner with light brown short hair in a wolf style cut, and a very fit physique, stepped between him and the fan, forcing her grip to break. The manager didnt break step at all as she put her arm behind the boys to keep them moving, a quelling expression on her face as she maintained eye contact with the sasaeng for a few seconds before security stepped in to remove the troublemaker. The sasaeng had looked startled herself for a moment before becoming visibly upset at the interruption.

"Woah, awesome." Jun responded, eyebrows high, "That was so smooth."

"That was cool." Seyoon nodded in agreement and instinctively glanced up to see if any of the staff was still in sight, though they were long gone.

"She didnt get in trouble did she?" Asked Donghun with a slight frown.

"I don't know, she was just here so maybe not?" Byeongkwan shrugged, putting his phone away and also glancing down the hall again.

"She didnt get in trouble." The boys jumped, not noticing their own manager, Minseok, having come up behind them as they were watching the video, "Sorry, didnt mean to scare you." He grinned.

"Aaahhhh, you scared me hyung." Chan whined, rubbing his beating heart.

"How do you know she didnt get in trouble?" Donghun asked curiously.

"I've chatted with her in the manager room. She's an interesting person." Before the boys had a chance to ask what he meant he changed the subject, "anyway get ready to go, it's almost our turn." They wasted no time switching to work mode and moving out.

"To a successful third week!" Guerin called out, holding up her shot glass. The two other managers met her cheers and they all drank their soju.

"For you! It's only been one week for me." Minseok shook his head as he automatically refilled the shots for the other two. Guerin chuckled and immediately refilled his as well. Politely speaking it should have been Jinyoung's job to do that but Guerin was an enthusiastic foreigner so neither of then bothered to correct her this time.

"Well thanks anyway for meeting me out. It's been fun but very tiring!" She added, setting the soju bottle down, then picking out one of the many late night snacks they had ordered and munching happily. While officially working she kept her makeup and jewelry fairly neutral she took socializing as an opportunity to match her looks to her personality. Today she wore an orange lip stain with light orange and yellow on her eyelids. Her normal earlobe studs were replaced with fun mismatched dangling earrings drawing attention to the rainbow feather tattoo behind her right ear.

"Ya, why do you keep looking at your phone?" Jinyoung challenged Minseok as it buzzed again. It had been going off fairly frequently for the past twenty minutes.

"Is it your girlfriend? Tell her to join us! The more the merrier." Guerin mentioned through her chewing.

"Funny you should say that..." Minseok trailed off with a guilty expression. The other two paused to look at him, Guerin already with another bite halfway into her mouth. "Its not my girlfriend, but I've just been informed we're getting company."

Her expression quizzical, she shrugged and stuffed the large bite of food into her mouth. It turned out to be poor timing.

"Hyung!" A man's voice exclaimed, approaching their table. Guerin, with chopsticks still in her mouth, cheek bulging, peaked up to see three members of Minseok's charges, A.C.E, coming toward them. She dropped her chopsticks as Minseok and Jinyoung stood to greet the newcomers. "Oh shi-" she started in english stopping just in time and jumping up as well, hitting the table with a loud clatter. She covered her mouth as the others and some surrounding people looked at her and hurriedly tried to swallow while bowing apologetically. Now standing at their table with alternating combinations of hoods, hats, masks and glasses was Seyoon, Byeongkwan and Donghun.

Minseok and Jinyoung looked amused, Byeongkwan and Donghun seemed concerned and Seyoon had his standard smile in place as she managed to quickly choke down her food at greet them. Minseok introduced everyone in the meantime, before turning to them after everyone sat back down.

"Guerin? Isn't that a Korean name? Where are you from?" Byeongkwan asked curiously.

"Oh, I'm from America but my name is difficult for Koreans to pronounce so I chose a Korean name." Guerin explained.

"I was going to bring food back." Minseok said almost defensively to the trio of unexpected guests.

"We know we just didnt want to wait." Donghun said.

"We also wanted to meet your friends." Seyoon said, looking at Guerin.

"You've already met me." Jinyoung responded looking at them as though waiting for the full story.

There was a beat as Guerin looked around and just as she filled in the blanks Byeongkwan confirmed, "We wanted to meet Guerin."

"What? Why?" She asked, confused.

"You're famous." Donghun said before turning to Minseok, "Can we join you? Should we order more Soju?" Minseok sighed and nodded, signaling to the server and calling for more Soju.

"Let's order more snacks too." Seyoon piped up.

"Oh, please help yourself, eat as much as you want." Guerin gestured to the selection of food.

"They need to keep to their diet-" Minseok started and Guerin gave him a look, "They're healthy, active young men. They work hard and they deserve to eat."

Minseok rolled his eyes, he had heard this before. Jinyoung piped up jokingly, "She just wants to make them fat to decrease competition."

Guerin gave the same stern look to Jinyoung, "Excuse me I make sure my boys eat very well. I refused to allow them to be unhealthy for aesthetics. Besides. A splurge once in a while never hurt anyone." She finished the sentence with another mouthful of food.

Seyoon looked at Minseok, "Can she be our new manager?"

Byeongkwan and Donghun raised their newly filled shot glasses for a cheers the Guerin heartily joined with the three boys while Minseok and Jinyoung shook their heads pretending to be offended.

"We got a glimpse of that famous expression you made." Donghun said after the cheers.

Guerin set her glass down and proceeded to refill everyone's shot glasses.

"Ahhhh I see. You're talking about that video with the sasaeng." There was a reserved tone to her voice as she glanced at each of their faces to read their expressions. No one spoke for a moment as she waited for their confirmation and they struggled to find the words they wanted. "Please dont worry about offending me, you can be... ah what's the word I want? Frank? Direct? Honest? Straightforward? Aahhh informal?" She settled on the word she knew after floundering in English for a moment.

"Direct." Byeongkwan added helpfully.

"Yeah, exactly. You can be direct." She smiled taking another sip of soju.

"Did your company scold you?" Seyoon asked.

"Hmmm, not really? They understood my reaction but there was some negative feedback from netizens so we had a talk about what to do next time." Guerin frowned and took another bite of food.

"What were people complaining about?" Byeongkwan asked around a mouthful of food.

"Mostly that I looked scary or acted to aggressively. Honestly most of the responses were very positive and supportive. They saw I was trying to protect the boys. I was very touched by a lot of comments." She smiled softly glancing away with an almost shy expression. "I was really only bothered by the ones criticizing Seungbin for not standing up for himself." Her expression changed again as she frowned the shrugged and looked up.

"It could look bad to some that a man needs to be protected by a woman." Donghun added thoughtlessly. Both Seyoon and Byeongkwan looked at him in alarm. He immediately panicked seeing their expression and the raised eyebrows on Guerin, "I didnt mean it like that I just meant that's what other people migh-"

"I get it." Guerin finished her shot then indicated Donghun to fill her glass with a playful wink as he obliged looking guilty. Seyoon shoved him playfully.

"It was one of the sentiments. As a man he should have done something himself. For starters he's very young, he is only fifteen and a very slight frame at that. Even then, an idol has to be careful with their image, they cant be seen being rude to fans, even terrible sasaengs. Additionally they've just debuted, so not only is their image even more impressionable, but it's not something he has experienced before. He was frightened and shocked. There is no shame in that. Lastly, I used to work in security so my response wasnt planned, I just saw someone who was in trouble and reacted." She gestured to Donghuns glass encouraging him to drink with her. They clinked glasses and drank together.

"Noona, you're drinking a lot." Jinyoung nagged playfully.

She looked surprised, "It's just soju and I've only had about five shots." She looked at the alcohol content on the bottles and laughed, "this is nothing! I'm feeling very pleasant right now."

Minseok sighed, "Noona you sound like an old man." She stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"Maybe if you babies were better at drinking you wouldnt need to shame my talents." Minseok pretended offense and Jinyoung raised his hand with a fake attempt to smack. "Aaahhh see what happens." She teased him and he sighed and looked away, calling for another bottle of soju.

She turned back to the A.C.E members that had been digging into the food on the table, "I love seeing our kids eat well." She patted her own cheeks with a cute smile.

"AWW NO NOONA not your aegyo ugh." Minseok complained loudly.

"I didnt mean to aahhh it just happened I was so happy." She covered her face but couldnt hide her embarrassed laugh.

"Hyung no, it was cute!" Seyoon interjected.

"You only say that cause she wants to stuff you full of food!" Jinyoung interjected, "you wouldnt say that if you had to see that all the time."

Guerin smacked Jinyoung lightly on the arm and ignored him as he pretended serious injury, "yah, you heard him. I'm CUTE." She shot Seyoon a cutesy wink and peace sign and his smile froze in place before he shot back his own wink and finger hearts. Byeongkwan and Donghun jumped onto scolding him while Guerin held a hand to her heart, as she played along.

Once they finished goofing off Byeongkwan spoke up again, "Guerin-SSI-"

"Just call her Noona, it makes her happy." Minseok sighed, looking at his dumb foreigner friend as she shot him an exaggerated scrunched face smile before turning back to Byeongkwan.

"You dont have to call me noona if you dont want to. But you dont need to be formal with me, I prefer to be friendly." She clarified.

"Noona, you said you worked security? What was that like?"

"Ah! Yes! It was rad! It was awesome. I worked as an independent contractor so I did everything from bouncing at bars, to private events like wedding and fundraisers, or even big fancy events like fashion week." She pulled up a sleeve and flexed, flashing an impressive bicep and patting it proudly, "I liked the work, and I was good at it." She pulled her sleeve down, preening slightly at the impressed expressions on the faces of the men joining her at the table.

"Cool! Why did you stop?" Seyoon asked.

"Well I moved out here to teach English, but then I really loved it so I wanted to stay. A lot of security work here only pays well if you can be armed, but getting my license for that would be tricky because I'm a foreigner. So I wanted a job that would still let me help people but pay well and my friend suggested this to me." While she talked she served a piece of food to everyone at the table, gesturing that they eat more. "Now I just get my jollies by giving piggyback rides and challenging men to arm wrestle just to put them in their place. And also feeding babies." She teased, feeding Minseok directly as she said so.

"Ya." He protested around the food in his mouth.

"Shhhh baby, or I'll tell your boys how many times I beat you at arm wrestling." She said, posing cutely with her finger to her cheek and fluttering her eyelashes.

The table erupted in a mixture of approval and dismay, Guerin cackling at the response and ending with everyone doing another cheers and shot.

"Darn! We should have gone with you, she sounds cool." Chan said with a slight pout. It was the next day and they were all in the waiting room getting ready.

"She's just what Minseok said. Interesting." Seyoon nodded.

"Were a lot of foreigners like that when you lived overseas?" Jun questioned Byeongkwan.

"Not really. She definitely has taken up some Korean traits well but even then she's really forward and comfortable and..." he paused.

"Loud?" Donghun offered.

"Definitely loud." Seyoon nodded in agreement.

"Arent all foreigners loud?" Chan asked.

"Not as loud as me. Hi guys!"

"Noona!" Byeongkwan jumped up. Donghum and Seyoon looked shocked and embarrassed.

"Noona, we didnt mean it as a bad thing." Donghun said as he and Seyoon bowed. Chan and Jun bowed in greeting as well along with Guerin after she patted Byeongkwans shoulder fondly. She smiled in response.

"Not at all, I know I'm extra. It means I'm extra, I'm above and beyond the normal level. I'm not offended at all, most of all because it's the truth." She waved off their guilty expressions.

"Noona, this is Jun and Chan." Seyoon introduced the remaining A.C.E members.

"It's nice to meet you! You'll have to join us next time so I can feed you too!" She grinned at them, "You can call me Noona or Guerin, whichever you are most comfortable with."

"What brings you here?" Jun asked politely.

"Minseok said he was here, he left his airpods behind last night so I brought them to him, the lightweight." She joked.

"Stop talking trash behind my back." Minseok complained walking back into the room and handing each of the boys a beverage from the vending machines.

Turning to face him directly, "hello my favorite lightweight. You drunkenly left your toys behind after one bottle of soju but I'm here to save the day!" She held out his airpods, the pulled back abruptly, "hey wheres my drink?"

Minseok sighed, "Seriouslyyyy?" He whined and pouted lightly.

"Oh my god. No. So cute. Aahhhh." She handed over his airpods and averted her eyes, fanning herself. Minseok looked proud at his win for a fraction of a second before he met the gazes of all five A.C.E members.

"Hyung..." Jun said in shock.

"You've never..." Byeongkwan started. Seyoon and Chan just started giggling while Donghun visibly cringed.

"Oh you guys stop, it was cute. He did it for me cause I'm weak for that sh... that stuff." She pressed her lips together at her catch. "Anyway its time for me to head back to HEET. It was nice seeing you guys again, and nice meeting you Jun, Chan." She bowed and left.

The boys waited a moment before Chan spoke up, "Okay I think I see what you mean."

"She makes me feel like I've been in a pool too long." Minseok grumbled disingenuously before going to put his airpods away.

"I like her." Jun stated, "She seems fun."

The boys of A.C.E were surprised by the unexpected reception in the party room. As soon as the five boys entered there was loud cheering, shouts of "surprise!" And "congratulations!". For the first time since their debut they had finally gotten their first, second and third wins. It was an emotional time, and seeing so many familiar faces cheering them on didnt stop the tears.

Unexpectedly, outside of their usual staff and friends was HEET, Guerin (their manager) who had become more familiar and a second foreigner.

Guerin waited until last, sporting bright pink lipstick this time, then offered a hug of pride and congratulations to each of them that they accepted before she introduced her team HEET and her friend, "A.C.E, this is my friend Charlie." She grinned, "She works at the zoo as a vet intern, I've known her for a while and I think you'll get along."

The members were instantly interested, "The zoo?"

"That's incredible!"

"How cool!"

"Do you treat all the animals?"

Guerins pretty friend smiled shyly but proudly, her pink and purple hair standing out against her fair freckled skin. "I'm just an intern but I'm learning so much, and I'm getting a lot of hands on experience."

"Your korean is so good!" Donghun offered excitedly, smiling genuinely.

"What's your favorite animal to work with?" Jun asked, pushing past Chan and Donghun as Charlie blushed.

Guerin hung back, smiling proudly at her friend, Seyoon close by while his members grilled Charlie.

"It must be nice to have someone from a familiar culture close by." Seyoon said to the short haired woman, easily his equal in height.

"Yes! And she's amazing! I wanted to be a zookeeper too but..." Guerin's smile became somewhat forced, "Well, it didn't work out."

Seyoon didnt know how to respond to that. It was a public place and seemed like a sensitive topic so he said the first thing that came to his mind, "You should give me a piggyback ride."

Guerin almost choked as she was shocked into laughter, "A wh- you want a piggyback ride?"

"Yeah. We got our first three wins. You should give me a piggy back ride to the snacks."

Without any hesitation whatsoever Guerin offered her back, "Hop on the snack train."

Minhwan, the leader of HEET, saw her motion, "Noona no, please that-".

Before he could finish his sentence Seyoon had hopped on. If he had stopped to think for a fraction of a second he might have caught the panicked and frozen expressions of most of the other guests in attendance but there was a person to be cheered up and snacks to be had so he missed it until he had been dropped at the buffet table.

He was reaching for a plate to demand Guerin load it up for him as well before he caught the faces of those around him and hesitated. Guerin, however, either didnt notice or care as she took his plate. Seyoon watched as she loaded the dish with all kinds of foods, paying no attention to their caloric value or sodium levels before shoving it back to him.

"Here. Eat." Her face lit up with joy, from what he couldnt exactly tell. As she ushered him away he noticed she did the same thing for all the members of her group, loading them up with food and happily encouraging them to eat. HEET was a talented group from a new company, the boys had an age gap from 15 to 23 but all seemed well fed and athletic despite differing body types. Seyoon noticed these details through catching up with members from his own staff and munching through his heaped plate.

"So you've only been in korea for a year?" Chan asked in disbelief.

"Well, living here. I've taken language classes and visited Guerin while she was here so I knew I wanted to do more." Charlie looked shyly down, "I'm sorry, I know my korean isnt good."

"No, its amazing! You're doing so well!" Jun responded enthusiastically, "you must be excellent to be able to intern in the vet field!"

Charlie blushed and covered her face.

"Boys if you could let my friend breath that would be amazing." Guerin cut in.

"Ah, I'm sorry we didnt mean to embarrass you." Donghun turned polite as the three bowed apologetically.

"Just be nice to her. I know you have it in you. Chan, come here let me feed you." Guerin continued, dragging the maknae away toward the table where Byeongkwan hovered. Guerin wasted no time feeding up the two young men, ignoring any protests from Minseok about their diet.

"Can we make you a plate?" Jun asked Charlie, suddenly inspired.

"If you want to, if you're hungry too..." she trailed off, overwhelmed by shyness.

"We can share." Donghun said, stepping up with her and Junhee. Her face flushed a little at their proximity, they either didnt notice or didnt care.

As the party progressed A.C.E. made sure to make their rounds and thank their staff. Thrpughout the night Seyoon found himself with a desire to drift to Guerin over and over. Whether she was with Minseok or her charges or her friend he was drawn to her side. The downside is it often ended with what might be considered inappropriate interaction. Besides the piggyback ride she had given him, they had exchanged cringey aegyo to each other, clung to each other laughing and finally he had challenged her to arm wrestling.

"Really? You want to in front of everyone?" She asked with an expression of concern.

Seyoon waggled his eyebrows, "Loser buys meat."

"Oh, I guess we'll find out the limits of your food budget then." Guerin laughed.

Charlie didnt outright cheer Guerin on but she did let out a muffled laugh of anticipation heard only by Jun and Donghun who happened to be near her.

"Do you think Guerin can win?" Jun asked Charlie skeptically.

"Oh, yes. He might have a chance in leg wrestling. But Guerin focuses a lot on strength training. Dance will do a lot but..."

Donghun nodded, familiar with the concept from his period in the military. His psyhique had changed when it went from soldier to idol. Junhee nodded as well, a bit more idly as though he didnt quite buy it.

A table and chairs had been located as Seyoon refused to back down. The two contenders clasped hands and for a moment gazed directly into each others eyes.

Guerin inhaled and said quietly so only Seyoon could hear, "Ah, its cheating for you to be so handsome." After which she clinched her eyes shut and pressed with all her might. Seyoon, despite his surprise, recovered and fought against her as best he could but ultimately he lost.

Guerin was not a gracious winner. She stood up, both arms in the air and walked around the room to calls of support while Seyoon recovered. It was easier for him to pretend to wallow in shame than to acknowledge the flutter he had felt in his chest from her unexpected comment.

"Maybe he could beat you in leg wrestling!" Byeongkwan proudly shouted from the sidelines, completely uninvited.

Guerin paused for only a moment before Minseok put the kibosh on that idea. Guerin laughed and propped an elbow on the shoulder of her friend. "Poor Minseokie, I've been thwarting you all night. I'll have to respect your wishes at some point." She secretly felt relieved, the brief eye contact she had made with the younger idol had made her heart race and wasnt sure she wanted his legs on her like that... [lies] a traitorous part of her brain added. She quickly pushed the thought down.

"Minseokie, have you eaten? Let me feed you." She tugged playfully at his arm.

"Do you ever think about anything other than food?" He grumbled but passively went along with her.

"What else is there?" She joked as she lead him off.

Seyoon watched them retreat as Donghun, Charlie and Jun came up to him.

"It was a close match!" Charlie said politely.

"Are you okay? You look weird." Jun asked.

Seyoon gazed up at them forlornly, "You've seen how much she loves food. I'll need to get a loan to feed her meat."

"Oh yeah you're totally screwed." Donghun said with a nod.

"You might as well close your bank account now." Charlie said with feigned sympathy this time.

Seyoon groaned dramatically and sank to the floor, covering his eyes, "I was so looking forward to my first paycheck."

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tumblunni · 5 years

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OH ALSO one other thing i know about yokai watch is that the european dub has the currency in british pounds! (Or australian dollars or every other currency for every language)

Thats just REALLY COOL cos seriously its so uncommon to see a game use £ currency! For some reason all our dubbed games tend to keep american dollars even when they change other stuff into british english. Tho also they barely ever change stuff into british english so thats why every 90s kid in our country was super confused by the show Recess. (Its just called "afternoon break" over here...) It became kind of a running joke how the first harry potter book had changes like philosopher's stone to sorcerer's stone and jumpers to sweaters etc. "Ha ha thos americans are dumb wanting stuff changed to fit them" we thought, not realizing how cool it would be to have american stuff retranslated so we'd 100% understand it since we'd never got to actually experience that. I mean even nowadays i work hard to correct myself into using american english on this blog but i'd never ask my american friends to translate their stuff! Its weird...

And obviously if its uncommon for british english its INFINATELY more uncommon for other english dialects! I know how privilaged we are to get even this!

Seriously i have only ever seen three games in my life that used british £, and two of them are for the 3ds! The other is tomodachi collection, and then a british made dating sim called lucky rabbit reflex. Which is funny cos thats the only actual british made game ive ever seen that didnt use dollars or some made up fantasy gold currency or something. Even our own stuff suffers from the "it has to be americanized to be sold internationally" syndrome! Like harry potter was already a multi million sensation before it got exported to america, and they still wanted to change all that stuff to be american and only stopped when they got negative feedback from both american and british fans. Its way harder for franchises that dont have as much saying power in their own decisions when getting redubbed.

Which also depressingly reminds me how stuff like SU has no choice in the matter when cartoon network decides to cut out stuff for being too gay in the goddamn british broadcast. God i hate how our country has had civil rights go backwards recently!!!!

Anyway in summary i still fuckin hate my country's government but im glad to occasionally see stuff in our language and currency and all. I'm determined that if i ever publish a game im gonna hire consultants to not only make translations to other languages but also english sub-dialects, because seriously its a really overlooked problem. Im privilaged that british english is like the second most well known dialect next to american yet we still get so little dub edits! If we're this bad then damn it must be so much worse for everyone else!!! One of my artist idols on deviantart published a cool book about translation differences between american and malaysian english and i still keep it pride of place on my shelf cos wow its a really interesting read! (And also a great comickified way to present educational stuff!) I wanna especially try and get malaysian english mode added to all of my games cos now i have multiple friends from this country and also i love seeing the malaysian indie gamemaking scene gaining more profit nowadays. Re:Legend is a great malaysian game im supporting on kickstarter and i made a rambley video advertising it on my youtube!!!

Man im going offtopic now sorry...

Man i need to go find that book again cos wow that was several years ago and i dont really go on deviantart anymore. I wonder if that cool lady is still making amazing comics? Her work was another place where i saw positive representation of trans and genderqueer folk before i did my journey of self discovery and realized i was one of them. Also she was really nice to me back when i was a tiny stupid kid entering some dumb art tournement back when i could barely draw. Man i got all depressed and wanted to delete my entire internet presence and never draw again just cos i lost when like LOL OF COURSE I DID I WAS A BABY GOING AGAINST ACTUAL ARTISTS. Ah nostalgia. Nostalgia for horrifyibg cringey bad moments of embarassment you can never fully escape.

Anyway in summary its good to have less dollars in things. Also its funny how many times you have historical games set in europey settings made in america yet the currency is always "gold pieces" or something instead.

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oppatxtme · 7 years

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Christian Yu: What’s On Sight (1)

CHRISTIAN YU x READER x JAY PARK

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9

WARNING: Just some curse words in some part. (sorry)

A/N: (Nhaks lakas maka-A/N HAHA!) Hello there ppl ~ This will be my first time posting my written scenario. I have lots on draft but it just stays there. Hahaha! But this is just my testing on posting it. I hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. I appreciate it really.

Also, just keep in mind that English is not my native language so there might be some spelling and grammar error. Sorry for my lack of talent and I promise to work hard on this. Thank you and please enjoy. Any feedback is well loved. <3

Ba?

BaaaaaaaaaRom!

Yaaaah! Christian!

- yow! hahaha!

theres no need to yell

whats up? miss me?

Tsssk! Wat took u so long to reply?

Wen u just tweet some trash when i msg u?

- first of all its not trash, its called selfie. a selfie of a very handsome man who's supposed to be ur only best friend on earth. so show some love.

FYI ur not the ONLY best friend i have. aaargh! watever!

- ok fine. im just the best of the best u have. hahaha

- HAHAHAHA!

O_O

- so wats new? its rare that ur the one looking for me and flooding me msgs like that..

well..

- well?

its just that..

- just that - you really miss me right?

seriously Ian? If I were to miss someone, u already know who it was and its not you.

- HAHAHA! I know. I know. Its Lori. Its always been Lori.

yea, always..

- well Lori misses u too. we both do.

Loooori! Arrrgh! dont be like that Ian, if u keep saying and sending me that I might change my mind on renewing my contract here.

- huh? ur planning on renewing there? but thats not what u said when u took ur vacation YN

yea, i know. but something came up and i cant afford to quit and stay in Seoul as planned

- WHY??

change of plans? hehe

- well obviously

wait. r u mad or something?

- no. its just that its not like you. i mean ur not that type of person who just back out once u decide on something w/o even trying.

i know Ba.. u dont have any idea how stressful it is, but i cant affort to make a mistake now..

i just cant Ba

- where r u now? its already 6am here in Seoul so its already 1am there in Dubai right?

yea.. why?

- answer my call.

You’re hesitant to answer his call. But you answered anyway because you know him too well. He won’t stop calling until u answered.

You cleared your throat.

"Oh?"

"Took you long enough."

You can’t help but smile on how comfortable the two of you become. I guess that’s what four years of friendship can do to you.

"Well, I miss you too Ba."

"Whatever. So mind telling me what’s on your empty head that you decide to renew your freaking contract on that trashy company you're in."

"Haha! The company is not trashy, just most of the people in it though."

"Same thing. So why? Don’t you think you've been trolling me long enough? Long distance call is not cheap you know."

You end up laughing at imagining how irritated he looks at the moment.

"Stingy as always. But first, why are you mad?"

"Wait a moment here YN, I'm the one who's calling so just answer my question and I might tell you why I'm mad."

"Fine. Well, how do I start.."

Honestly, you have plenty on your mind that you want to say to him. Because u know that out of all the people you know, you know that Christian is the right person who you can talk about it.

But now that you've been keeping it for too long for yourself, you’re having a problem with putting it to words.

"How about starting on since when are you having this issues and keeping it to yourself so now you're stressing yourself about it?"

Again, you can’t help but laugh.

"What’s funny YN? Are you gone crazy?"

"Well, I think I am. Because just hearing you blabber makes my mind at ease. I don’t know how and why."

You know that you said something cheesy so you're waiting for his lame joke in return, but it’s just silence.

"Ba? Are you there?"

You heard him clear his throat.

"Damn YN, just answer my question will you?"

"Fine. It happens right after my one week stay there in Seoul. When I went back home, I talked to Mom about the plan I talked you about. She agreed and more excited about it. But when she opened what I told her to Dad, he closes the idea and ends up making my return to Dubai much early as planned. And he wants me to either renew my contract here or find another company. He also said that before making any stupid decision, I have to make sure that my future is secure. And he brought again the topic of him finding a man for me to marry. What the heck right. I mean he's saying that before but I thought is all lame jokes but now he is serious with that arrange marriage thing? Aaargh!"

You paused to breathe and try to stop the tears that I've been holding.

"Did your Dad know that you went here in Seoul and met me before making that plan?"

"I think so. I show the pictures to Mom that I took there and also with the crew. Why?"

"I think it’s my entire fault YN. Sorry."

"Huh? Sorry for what? How can it be your fault?"

"Well, if what I think is correct then it’s really my fault. But I'm not sure."

I heard his sight, a deep and long one. And I can’t stop wondering why.

"How? Christian?"

"You need to get some sleep YN. It’s already late there."

"Oh no! Don’t give me that bull Christian. You need to tell me how it is your fault? And what’s the sorry for?"

Silence.

"I'm waitin Christian Yu. Or should I call you so you can just answer my question?"

"God, YN. You and your impatience is really something."

"Are you going to tell me or you're just going to tell me?"

And it’s his turn to laugh at you.

"Aigooo. Thanks for that very considerate choice YN."

"I'm listening Ian."

"So Bossy! Just like your father."

"BAROM YU!"

"Yes! First, I'm not sure if it’s really my fault. But given the fact that your Dad knew we met since your two years abroad, then I think it has something to do with the talk we had two years ago."

"Two years ago? You and Dad talk? About what?"

"Before your departure to Dubai. Remember the crew and I stayed 3 days in your home town to bond and decided to extend one more day just so we can send you off on the day of your flight?"

You nod your head as if he can see you.

"We stayed at your house that last day remember?"

Again you nod. As if he can see you, stupid.

"And that night, your boyfriend told you that he can’t come along to the airport with us. You told him it’s okay, but you cried like a water falls that night."

"EX-BOYFRIEND now, yeah I remember. And now that I think about it, you stayed in my room just to console me and to make sure that I won’t stay up late. And that’s the last time I saw you because the next morning you're gone. They say that you had to go back to Seoul immediately due to some work issue. I keep calling you but I can’t get a hold of you."

"Because right after I left your room, I saw your Dad drinking on the terrace and I don’t know what kind of spirit came to me that made me go and talk to him."

He paused and I'm sure I can hear his hand touching either his hair or his cheeks.

"What did the two you talked about Christian?"

“Well, what do you think we can talk about on that time?”

"Huh?"

"Back then, I kind of told your Dad what I really feel. Well now, I don’t know if this will make any sense to you or if you will take this seriously but I told him three years ago. At first, I asked him if he believed in love at first sight. He said no.

But I told him that I do believe in such. Because there this girl that I met, and what I felt was extraordinary, it’s somewhat like "SPARK AT FIRST SIGHT".

And I tried to ignore what I felt towards that girl because I know if I entertain that feeling it will just go nowhere. But the second time I saw how pure and kind she is, I admit that it’s a "crush at second sight" for her.

And the third time I saw her, we got a chance to somehow get to know little but enough from each other, and that’s the day I surrender that it’s "LOVE AT THIRD SIGHT"."

I think I know where this is going, but I still need to be sure so I keep all that I want to say for myself, for now.

"After that, he told me that he admires my ways and ask if that girl is already my girl. But I said no because after that day I saw her with someone else and what I felt is one-sided and for that my heart got "BROKEN AT FOURTH SIGHT".

But I told him that I'll make sure that she will be my wife someday. It’s just that it’s not yet our time back then."

"Barom-"

"No YN, let me finish please."

You didn’t say or more likely you can’t say anything. You think your mind is on a chaos mode.

"Your dad figure who the girl I was talking about, he said that we're two different people and still young and for me who hasn't figured out my life while you're already on the path towards what he planned for you. But he got mad when I said that you need to live the life you want not what he planned. And I'm certain that you and I are for each other and there will be a day that I will tell you how I felt and you and I can make our own life to live happily.

I know that it’s stupid of me that I'm saying this now and thru the phone but. I just don't know what to do YN. I'm confused and scared."

You kept quiet for a while. Then you found yourself looking on the screen of your phone. Dumbfounded on what Christian Yu is saying. Your best friend that you treated like your big brother, rather than your own.

You’re confused. The things running thru your mind is kept on filling up. And you just can handle it all at once. So you just press the end button on the screen without saying anything to him.

You tried to breathe just to calm yourself.

But not a minute pass and your phone rings.

And it’s Christian.

'Aaah! So it’s not a dream.'

While looking at the caller ID on your phone, all that he said is slowly sinking in.

'So he likes me back then? Does he still feel the same way till now? Nah, that’s impossible. But now that I think of it, it just makes things more clear. All the favors I asked of him, he never once he refuses and all I thought it’s because he thinks of me as a little sister that he never had.

Aaargh! My head is aching because of this overthinking.'

Your attention return to your phone that keeps on ringing, you decided to reject his calls and send him a message.

'Sorry Christian, talk to you later once I figure things out.'

It’s already late and in just 3hrs you need to go for your work. You stress yourself if you will sleep of just waiting for the time. But then you fell asleep and woke up to the sound of your alarm.

'Another day but same old problems, please no more new ones. Let me settle my entire problem first and give me a rest! Please!'

TO BE CONTINUE...

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9

A/N: what do you think about this chapter? Talk to me, don’t be shy. I won’t bite. Have a good day/night everyone!

Y/N Portrayer in collage is @Mari_jasmmn ~ check her out in IG (GIRL CRUSH)

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dualitysdownfall · 7 years

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It's 12:25 am and I tried to go to sleep but it didn't work so i'm getting really hot in my bed and i'm gonna type about a bunch of stuff

I think if im trying to go to sleep then its probable The Worst Time to be typing out thoughts and rants on my phone but idc

You know that icky fuzzy stuff that gets on your teeth if you don’t brush them? Well i forgot to brush my teeth before going to bed and it’s too late to go out of my room again because there’s a baby sleeping in my house and if i wake up the baby i’ll end up waking up everyone. So i can’t go next door of my room to brush my teeth and i know the fuzzy stuff will irritate me, not to mention guilt me for not brushing my teeth, unless i get it off. So I picked it off with my fingernails. Ended up drooling on my pillow. Small price to pay I guess. I did still feel kinda bad about not ~genuinely~ brushing them, but then I thought. Hey, they didn’t have toothpaste in the caveman days, and cavemen still had teeth, right? So it won’t kill me if I don’t brush my teeth for a couple days. It’s kinda bad, but not life-ruining.

I’m a really picky eater and all my tastes tend to favor things that are more sweet or just less healthy, as most people’s do. I do genuinely want to be healthy, but it’s kind of hard changing that when you’re not the one buying the groceries, and my mom’s idea of healthy dinner is my idea of ew. So as I was trying to sleep just now, I started thinking about how I want to eat healthy, and so to prove a point to myself, and maybe my parents if it ever comes to that, I started compiling a list of healthy foods I like. Fruits, veggies, more healthful versions of regular foods I eat, etc.

While we’re on the topic of health, exercise for me is a different story. Whereas I do actually have healthy foods I like, there are very few exercises I enjoy. I bet I could count them on one hand. I like walking, swimming, rollerskating…. and that’s about it. …Y'know, come to think of it, I’d do those a lot more—by choice, even—if I had roller skates and a pool at home. (This sentence clearly indicates that I don’t.) Maybe I’ll ask for roller skates for my birthday. Maybe I’ll have my party at the roller rink. My cousin did that once: had his birthday at the roller rink and then got skates as a present. My sister used to like roller skating just around the house. She did it while she read books for school. It was interesting. I hope she looked up so she didmt run into things.

I’m listening to music instead of YouTube right now. My phone charger is downstairs, so I have lowbattery mode on even though its at 86%. Trying to make it last through the night because i dont have a second charger upstairs. Well i do but it’s old and hasn’t worked for years. I don’t know why I haven’t just thrown it away yet. I should do that...

It's really hot in my bed and I’m starting to sweat but I’m not gonna take the covers off because they’re blocking my view of the smoke detector’s light in the corner of my ceiling and I’m scared of smoke detectors (and the sound they make, and fire, and…)

I’ve always been scared of death. I don’t know what will happen after i die. Where will I go? What will I have to do or have done to me? I didn’t used to be so unsure of what I believed in. But when I was little I was still scared of being sent to hell. I wasn’t sure if I was meeting the requirements necessary to go to heaven. Now that I’m older I realize I don’t HAVE to believe what I was taught as a child. But I don’t know what I DO believe, and so for all I know once I die I’ll just float around, alone, endlessly, in the darkest depths of the universe… infinitely. Doesn’t sound fun.

I don’t want to be thinking about that at 12:51 AM, but here I am.

I should really go to sleep… but I can’t… and now I’m all hot and my arms are sore from holding up my phone and my mind is awake from using my phone…. I really should have thought this through.

I always wanted to try packing a backpack for a day or two and basically run away from home but it wouldn’t be running away from home because running away from home implies you needed/wanted to get away from your home situation, but that’s not what I mean. I just … the challenge of trying to fit clothes and water and money and other essential stuff into a backpack and then trying to survive on your own for a bit just appeals to me. Though I suppose those who have had to do it, as a necessity rather than a challenge for fun, would beg to differ.

I’m hungry.

Why did I let myself stay up so late? I really need to break this tendency to stay up this late, before it becomes irreversible.

In theory I really like being up late. It’s quiet and peaceful and you can pretty much do whatever. But in practice, the darkness and the silence creep me the heck out and the later it gets, the more guilty i feel for not going to sleep.

Coincidentally it just became 1 AM.

So I’ve been playing loads of Tetris lately, and I know the “tetra” in “Tetrimino” means four. Like how tetriminos are made of four squares. But what about the “mino”? Is it like, amino? Like amino acids? Tetrimino acids? I wonder

If I were to visit another country, I’d want it o be an English-speaking country, because while I’d like to learn new languages, I worry that upon going there, where people speak that language instead of English, I’d need a word for something and not know what it is or how to say it. You could tell me after a few years of studying that I was fluent enough to get around well enough and make small talk, but even just simple chatting can get complex.

The differences in American English and British English are interesting. There are different words for things sometimes. Like what an American would call pants, a British person would call trousers, etc. I’m sorta fascinated by British accents but if I tried to fool people and do one I’d probably use an American word and they’d figure me out

I don’t have any particular reason to want to do things like run away from home for a day or pretend I have a British accent. If I were to do them—not saying I will—my only reason would be “to see if I could”.

My art ability comes in two modes: Pretty Good and Meh. The usual setting is Meh: My sketches are OKAY, but not fantastic, and usually stay as sketches because I lack the control, patience, etc to do anything impressive with pens or markers. Then, very very rarely, the switch flips to Pretty Good. Now I am very able to use things like micron pens amd make interesting outlines with them, my sketches are spot-heckin-on, and I can use my markers quite effectively. However, this rush of artistic skill only lasts about one to two drawings. An example of a drawing made while that was happening is my gemsona Grape Agate, whose post people are still occasionally reblogging for some reason. I’m not sure why this weird inconsistency in my art skills happens. People will probably just say, it’s all in your head, you’re not trying, etc, but I don’t think it’s in my control. Though I’m sure some adjustments to my mindset couldn’t hurt in the moment while I’m getting ready to draw.

I’m going to keep typing about things until I get too tired to keep going.

There’s this thing called Pearlmethyst Week coming up and I want to participate by drawing something for each day of the week. The issue with that is, I want to draw using my mom’s display tablet that she has for her computer. She seems hesitant to let us kids use it during the day, so we’ve taken to using it when she’s not home or when she’s asleep. I’ve already finished and scheduled three Pearlmethyst Week drawings, but time’s running out to finish the other four and we’re going on vacation over the weekend meaning I won’t have access to the drawing tablet. I’m going to work on sketching them as much as possible until the weekend, but if I don’t get them all finished before we have to go, then I’m considering bringing my copics and microns on the trip and drawing them traditionally in my spare time.

I'm starting to zone out and not want to move my fingers. Maybe im finally falling asleep. However i am still not too lazy to correct my typos so maybe im not.

........Okay, it's now 7:47 AM and i have slept!!!!!!!! So now i'm gonna post this... cause I did want to. If you wanna chat about any of my weird thoughts, shoot me a message~

#melancholy starlight trying to go to sleep

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francel · 7 years

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rambling;

i have nothing good to post, so i thought it might be fun to compile some answers to various ffxiv- and rp-related memes and questionnaires i’ve done on my private accounts! please enjoy my screaming.

8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

i wish i was handsome and suave like all my characters thanks

13. What’s something you’ve never thought about your character?

a certain someone recently decided to remind me that francel's house has no bathroom... and i had honestly never considered, in two whole years of playing him, where he goes to pee?

"do you mean poop" francel is a delicate maiden i will not consider this

(we figure there’s probably an outhouse... somewhere...)

3. What’s something that surprises you about your canon?

Wiltswys: You think me cold? Well, fie on what you think! I wanted something better than tilling salty fields and spilling small fry out the nets, and occasionally taking a passing sailor into my bed for more o' the same!

LISTEN THIS IS THE MOST VULGAR LINE IN THE GAME I SWEAR TO GOD

i have done this quest at least... 4 or 5 times now and it never fails to make me scream. and every time i do it i have to zoom in on her and look at her face because she is a really cute roe girl, so i wonder what her taste in sailors is...

19. Give me an appearance-related headcanon of your choice.

LAUGHS OK hmm what have i never said before...

i have definitely mentioned that i don’t think francel likes his appearance very much — he especially wishes he had lighter-colored eyes like stephanivien and aurvael...

i personally want to think that chlodebaimt looked very different from francel BUT, although i have never datamined the necrose knight (i really should), a friend of mine took screenshots and his eyes at least look like francel's eyes

...but they might very well have just used a generic house haillenarte knight model for that, so who knows what chlodebaimt looked like?

i also like to think that baurendouin (francel's father) persists in the belief that his youngest son will do great things because he at least superficially resembles driancoin de haillenarte (the haillenarte founder you see in the haldrath flashback scene). i mean, i doubt portraits of driancoin survived or anything, given the nondescript statues of thordan's knights, but i’m sure comments about him did?

"he was fair of face and fair of hair" idfk some shit like that

5. What do you hate about your canon?

i am always, ALWAYS so tired of hearing people complain about how “no one ever” treats the wol like they’re “a normal person” ah, yes no one no one ever has treated you nicely never mind the fact that people regularly apologize for turning to you in their hours of need, and for asking you to kill things, and you usually just dismiss their applogy no one!!! has ever!! been nice!! to the wol!! i know the entire arc of my francel writing career has been bitching about similar things but at least i find new ways to do it

ok wait i have to vent more about how people still persist in the NO ONE WAS NICE TO THE WOL BUT HAURCHEFAAANT!!!!! delusion like tataru fucking made you clothes recently IS THAT NOT THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF LOVE? YOU'VE FINALLY BEEN REWARDED WITH SOMETHING PHYSICAL AND TANGIBLE!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!

24. What’s a song that reminds you of your character?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B7VKiJhU_s “Dear Jack,” by Jack’s Mannequin.

lately, i’ve been listening to this... i don't like every part of this song, but lyrically, it is such a perfect francel song

dear jack, i write you as a friend dear jack, i write for fear the end is coming soon to you it's not so clear it's clear to me it's clear as glass

dear jack, wherever you are, hold tight wherever he is, shine light right there be strong i dare

i had songs for you i had all your music written out the words came when i heard you screaming i had plans for you until the plans fell through now there is no turning back, my dear jack

11. Something you like to look at.

i have complicated feelings about haurchefant these days, but sometimes i go and look at this mug and cry about his handwriting

like from a lore perspective i know he can't be writing in english because they write in eorzean but until then, my friend...

14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get in the specific mindset?

yes! but it depends on the character. for ramza... i either read shakespeare (for real — i have lifted quotes wholesale from hamlet and the tempest) and/or listen to "rather be" by clean bandit? seriously, that is my most strong ramza association... which is weird because the song and the game are like 20 years apart? or i listen to the FFT ost...

for francel i have a whole playlist, but most importantly i either go on twitter and look at wolchefant fanart or read bad wolchefant fanfic on ao3... (don’t judge me; it keeps the bitterness alive)

18. Is there anything you really wish you could do that you feel is outside your current ability? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

UMMM... hmmmmmmm...

i dont know... i don’t really think any plots are outside of my current ability, but i admire my friends for being so consistent and on the ball with their dignified prose? i can be dignified too, but at some point i'll crash and start writing intensely silly tags

i would like to do more plots where francel is a badass for whatever reason, but that’s just wish fulfillment

17. Which character is the easiest to write? Why do you think that is?

francel is the easiest to write because he has the ugliest emotions

ramza is the hardest because he is always so virtuous

everyone else has varying levels of self control, but with francel i can usually succumb to base impulse reactions. i like his unguarded nature...

6. When writing a character, do you find it easier to work on their external or internal ticks first? oh, internal, definitely. i think my tags suffer from the fact that i often don’t describe what my characters are doing or what is around them? just... just assume on my behalf lmao.... so IF FRANCEL IS CAUGHT UP IN INTERNAL TL;DR there's a 90% chance he's doing that kicked-puppy stare at the floor

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? XIV, hard mode: no Haurchefant/WoL.

LMAO THAT HARD MODE...

xiv's fandom has rarely "ruined" pairings for me, as in "i liked them before but i hate them now solely because of fandom"... that said, i think i kind of liked the idea of zephirin and aymeric as a rivalry ship, but i hate when fandom takes the "oMG ZEPH RAPED AYMERIC WHEN HE WAS HELD CAPTIVE" route...

i think this perception of zephirin as this horrible awful evil man comes from the fact that the information on the ward happened after the game was released, so... in the span of time between "zephirin killed haurchefant" and "wait actually zephirin is a virtuous man," people formed their opinions, you know?

but it's still really annoying, and to some degree the misconception persists...

i was also okay with guydelot and sanson at first, but i’m a little annoyed by them now, too... it’s not for any particular reason — i just think the fandom is annoying in the "THEY'RE SOOO MARRIED!! EVEN THE OTHER QUEST NPCS SAY THEY'RE LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!! THEY’RE SO CANON!!!" way and i’m like Please Shut Up. that said, i guess it’s mostly jealousy because none of my pairings are ever canon, but whatever...

so i guess i'm going with zephirin/aymeric, guydelot/sanson... and oh btw like. urianger/moenbryda to a degree? i remember when the wind-up moenbryda item came out and the english item description was like "you don't want to know what urianger did to this" or something like that, like, i just took it as — like urianger probably dressed it up in a little maid outfit and had it serve him tea or something equally otaku-like?

but the entire fandom was like OMG HE JERKED OFF TO IT OR USED IT AS A SEX DOLL OR SOMETHING and i was like ... okay. like if that's how you're determined to see it, fine, but fandom always takes the worst possible interpretation of something i swear to god

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

LAUGHS WELL I GUESS MY USUAL TIRADE: i don't think of haurchefant as the perfect cinnamon roll angel and actually he annoys me a little...

my friend just finished running coerthas quests on her balmung alt and like... even she commented on how brusque and condescending he seems to francel? and she has no reason to be tainted by my perception of him, it's just... it’s just that he is brusque and condescending.

back when i liked haurchefant/francel, i told myself that it was just how he acted in the heat of the moment and i was sure he was gentler later... but now we’ve seen so much of haurchefant that from the way he treats francel it really feels more to me like francel was just a friend of convenience. i don’t know. i’m bitter. maybe i’m just bitter because it’s easier to cope that way.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

um... well, i think everyone in the ffxiv fandom also agrees that the fandom is annoying...

something i sometimes worry about, but which is not exclusive to ffxiv, is like... people who rp wind up with such a different impression of things than people who just play the game?

i'm not judging either side on this but... i have rp friends, and i observe the rp community on tumblr/balmung, and i also have friends that are just gamers? and you know, like. sometimes rpers get carried away and invent all these narratives, like i know some tumblr rpers had a bunch of "plots" where a murder mystery happened in ishgard and it was all full of like noble OCs and intrigue or something?

but my gamer friends will sometimes be like, “ishgard is so boring.” so they... see it differently? you wind up viewing the game differently based on what you do in it.

there's also the divide between the english version of the game and the rest of the world, which i bitch about a lot but

just as an example, in english the nobles of ishgard are kind of broadly characterized as being unintelligent and shallow and foppish, whereas the other versions of the game really take a much more neutral approach?

or well i can really only speak for the japanese, but in general the german and french versions of the game are loyal to the japanese, however, 2.0 content was often based on the english...

so, for example, 2.0 content was EN->FR, but ever since 3.0 most of the patches have been JP->EN/DE/FR

however, the EN version continues to make changes, whereas DE and FR don't really change many things!

so i worry a lot about the different perceptions people have of the game, and what that means, like, when i write fanfic...

does my interpretation of coerthas align with other peoples' interpretations of coerthas? probably not. that’s something that’s deeply distressing, as a writer and as someone who prefers to have control, but i don’t know...

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...

STARES INTO THE VOID it's it's too late for any of this

2 years ago i would have told you without hesitation that i wanted haurchefant to be alive and for him and francel to have eloped together, but now i just...

i've learned to play with the cards i've been dealt

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psianabel · 3 years

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KHUx Finale Part 2 (like, the final Finale) - Thoughts

I ... I don’t even know where to begin. Then again, I don’t think anyone can after this. It’s been a few days and I think I can finally sit down and write down some things. I was waiting for a global update, watching Damo’s stream, and then when it didn’t drop ... you know, somehow I feel like this was meant to be lol. For old time’s sake, one last time going through this hassle of translating the japanese on the fly. Being together with all these people, reacting at the same time ... this experience, nothing can ever replicate that.

And boy oh boy was there a lot to react ...

There were still so many things left open this finale had to adress, so getting into it ... i was so nervous jhgbfhgd But, in the end I just have to say, it satisfied me. God, we got so much - - One final MoM and Luxu scene, traitor Luxu confirmed, the Foretellers were meant to trap darkness, that whole scene is SO gorgeous. - Brain saying goodbye to Lauriam, I’m so :(((((((( f u ck, he passed onto his “leadership” of the Union Leaders onto him and im SO sad just thinking about he forgets all this AAAAAAAAAAAA. I got a handshake and im so happy. Lauriam said he will see him again and I start crying again. - dont get me started on Ephemer, Skuld, Player. GODDDDD GOD GOD FUCK FUUUUCK FUCK. On one hand I would have kind of loved if Player was /really/ possessed by Darkness, as some kind of “oh yeah, you know how you’ve been using Guilt the whole time?” BUT YOU KNOW im good. No I’m not actually, because Ephemer’s last memory of Player being That “betrayal” wants me to lie down and cry forever. god this was good. This fight. I was wondering what the final boss would be ... never I would have expected it to be ... our best friends. - UUUGHGG BRAIN AND LUXU. I was SO very looking forward to that, I KNEW they would meet. ... I was pspsps-ing the No Name keyblade so hard. Just ... this scene. Brain wanting to sacrifice himself to save his friends. Saying he will just stay here and live out his life ... god, god it breaks me. Brain “Friendship is a beautiful thing”, “Friends, cool” Kingdomhearts. FUUUUUCK MEEE. He truly ... truly cared about them ... and then, Luxu does, too huh ... god i was at the edge of the seat when this scene cut to black jdgbdfhgbd - I’m .. I’m fine with Player’s fate. With all of the Players. I saw it coming and honestly - the delivery was beautiful. There is one canon Player, but ... do you want to be the canon Player? Would you do this descision - in the end, if you don’t, another Player will take that place. And thinking like this, I feel happy for my Player. She’s at rest. (My Player’s name is Aquanort and I never felt so. ,,,, wellp I guess thats true-, ever before djgbfd). The Dream Eater thing hit me so hard. Oh god Chirithy ... thank you for always keeping us safe ... forever. - The Dearly Beloved credits music im just :(((((((( how hard can I cry? The answer is yes. - takes a deep breath. Everything after the credits destroyed me. fuck. f u c k For one I’m glad we finally see where Lauriam, Elrena end up in the future, and of course Ventus ends up in the keyblade graveyard hh. ... Brain ... Brain ... my love. god. GOD. LUXU YOUUUUUUU. YOUU. I wanted for Brain to have No Name, I wanted for Brain and Luxu to be friends, AND THIS WENT A LITTLE TOO FAR - puts head into hands. GOD. GOD!!!!!!! (I’ll have to wait for the official english translation - but for now I would like to believe that Luxu did that to ... save Brain ...) - before I completely go into theory mode, ... Scala. Oh beautiful Scala, what has happened - god I love this design. Gives off such a different vibe. Was this your idea, Ephemer ... thank you for giving me canon Scala Brain. God bless finally. I still do believe in the Ancestor Theory, yet I guess grandfather now comes close huh lol. I’m okay with this. Scala Founder Ephemer is just excellent. Look at him go. God I’m so proud of him. And Brain gonna step into his footsteps huh ... like the second in charge he always was. im so emo lmao - if Brain does take over, the sheer contrast between the two Scala designs we know now, ah, ... dark for Ephemer, light for Brain - I’d like to imagine they both each build it with the other one in mind, what they wanted it to be. Heh. Oh these two ... - Luxu-Brain got my mind broken. Literally. I was soooo sooo confused. How could Luxu have taken his body as his first vessel, if Brain ended up in the future somewhere in Scala - the only explanation I currently have is, that Luxu “saved” Brain by taking his body, because Brain refused to leave Daybreak, sent his heart into the future, and with his hat acting as a Medium, Brain regained his body, just like Maleficent did in KH2. Brain in Scala immediately asks about the others, which is the last thought he had in the Ark room. If he’d remember the whole Luxu thing, I don’t think - no. That’s the only thing that my mind can accept for now lol.

Brain is my favorite character from UX, he has been for the past years, and man ... my son ... I will miss you. All of these characters. I love hem so much. I’m so glad to be a fan of khux. Like I said in the beginning of this post, the experiences I had with this game, I cannot express it.

I love KHUx. Not everything has been answered, but like every KH, that was to be expected. Dark Road is ending later this year and I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of what happened in this finale got touched upon. Now having it canon that Ephemer and Brain were in Scala ... give me the forbidden flashbacks, Dark Road.

Thank you, KHUx. With all these ups and downs, I will remember you for being the greatest.

I want nothing more than for these characters to meet again in the future. To tell each other about their lives. Find each other again as friends.

That’s all I can say <3 thank you for reading.

May your heart be your guiding key.

#personal #khux #khux spoilers #khux finale

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blaperile · 5 years

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Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 11 (Epilogue 2 Page 3)

#Homestuck #The Homestuck Epilogues #Meat #Epilogue Two #John

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survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years

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Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST.

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel? think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself. I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos) xoxo, gossip girl P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it. "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much. We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!!

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!!

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH.

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops? Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (:

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat.

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days! As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week. I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe.

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow.

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed / xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working.

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe.

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA.

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out?

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt.

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out! Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh.

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see! I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that.

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild.

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks

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