#but it feels like they're uncomfortable with me (a girl) being bi

[vettely]

not saying two of my friends are biphobic/lesbophobic but it's suspicious they almost completely stopped hanging out with me for the past two years... and i came out to them two years ago

#fun fun fun #like they're okay with our guy friend being gay #but it feels like they're uncomfortable with me (a girl) being bi #they're both girls so you get what i mean #anyway #it's sad bc i still consider them friends #but if i didn't that would left me with only three friends #and saying i have 5 friends sounds better than saying i have 3 lmaoooo #tbh i barely even see those other 3 #but they still take their time to at least ask me how i'm doing #and two of those are definitely homophobic lmaoooo but i like to pretend they're not #those two obviously don't know about my gayness #and they will never know #and i'm okay with that #well at least i have that one friend who i can trust and who likes hanging out with me #personal #i just realised writing these tags that i definitely need new friends

[aceing-on-the-cake]

Compulsory Heterosexuality Info Dump

So because a friend of mine didn't know what comp het was and their internet history is monitored by their parents so they can't just use google, I'm doing a very quick research dive and giving you guys the results in case there are others out there who are in the same situation. I'll also be tagging blogs bigger than me because again, there might be fellow queers out their who are in the same boat as my friend and I want them to have access to this information.

So what is compulsory heterosexuality (or comp het)?

Comp het is in essence the societal belief and enforcement of being straight.

What does this mean?

In basic form it means that the only options presented to everyone, from the moment of birth, is that of a cis, amatonormative, heterosexual lifestyle.

You are given two gender options, these gender options determine the two roles you're allowed to fulfill, husband and wife, and you are told that these two roles are what will make you happy and are what you are supposed to strive for.

Meaning society, if you are born AFAB, tells you you're going to one day get married, it's going to be a boy, and this is what will make you happy. Almost everything in life is then seen through this lens. How attractive your are, how you are supposed to talk, how you're supposed to behave, etc is all considered through the lens of if a man will be attracted to you.

On the flip side, if you are born AMAB society tells you there are roles you have to fulfill as well. You are told you will one day want a wife, that you have to be able to have a job to provide for her, that you have to behave in a certain emotional way to be strong for her, that if the things you like are too feminine well then you're gay or a girl which is a problem because at the end of the day you're supposed to want the girl-fiance-wife.

This literally just sounds like the patriarchy.

Yes, it does, because it's caused by it. Nowadays people commonly know about compulsory heterosexuality from the Lesbian Masterdoc, but the term actually originated by Adrienne Rich in 1980.

Adrienne Rich in her article Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence put forward three ideas, 1) that heterosexuality and lesbianism were institutions themselves/possible political ideologies, 2) that heterosexuality as a system if not constantly maintained and upheld would eventually crumble and 3) that heterosexuality as a system could be opted out of and actively fought against whether or not you were actually attracted to women/non-women.

This is very different from the way we currently think of and define those terms, I am aware of that, but her point does still stand to some degrees that comp het, cisnormativity and amatonormativity all crumble when we stop rigidly enforcing the structures that uphold them, i.e., the patriarchy, misogyny, classism, and racism.

Ok but like what does that actually look like?

It can look like a lot of things, for a lot of different people. In the Lesbian Masterdoc you see comp het presented from a straightforward lesbian lens (of a 19 year old figuring out and defining their own sexuality guys, I'm not gonna sit here and critique it and rip it to death, go do that somewhere else).

This is therefore presented through things like women/non-women who were raised/socialized as women possibly having crushes on men, but they're always unattainable in some way (celebrities, fictional, someone real but they wouldn't actually ever be able to truly be in a relationship with, etc). It might also show up for lesbians as liking the idea of a man but being uncomfortable when one actually wants to move forward in the process. Or even sometimes it might show up as sexual fantasies with men but they're faceless, they're more an idea, or you're actually viewing another woman sleeping with him.

This presentation of comp het has made a lot of bi/pan/mspec people uncomfortable because they feel they too have experiencing comp het and when reading the Lesbian Masterdoc it's presented as if experiencing this is a straight shot towards being a lesbian.

And they're right that comp het isn't experienced by just lesbians. For mspecs who present feminine/as women this could be in the feeling that they have to dress a certain way to be presentable, but presentable is based on appealing to men. This can mean something as simple as women are expected to wear makeup, always, regardless of if they're looking to seek men's attention or not, because that's the base standard.

For mspecs who present masculine this can look like the inability to express themselves in an overly emotional manner because that doesn't make them "strong" and if they're not "strong" then they won't attract women, and that's what they're supposed to be doing.

For mspecs in general that can look like their queer looking relationships to be seen as a phase even if their mspec-ness is respected because of course they're eventually going to get married to a man/woman.

This can affect polyamorous cishet people in that they're seen as doing heterosexuality wrong because you're supposed to have the one partner and the 2.5 kids.

This can affect aspecs because they're told they'll never truly feel fulfilled if they don't have that boyfriend/girlfriend/partner to love them in a way that's so special nothing else could match up.

This affects all of us guys is my point.

How is this helpful to me?

Well for sapphics and lesbians (or sapphics/mspecs confused on if they are actually lesbians) this can be a helpful concept to consider because it can help you determine what relationships you truly want to pursue, which is the main point I feel is to be gained from the Lesbian Masterdoc. As she's put it "it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them"

So if you're a sapphic who experiences attraction to men but you honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider the idea of comp het.

If you're Achillean the opposite of this can be true, if you've been attracted to women before but honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider whether comp het is working on you.

For mspecs this can be a helpful term to throw over the table back at your parents when they ask when you're going to get a "real relationship".

This can be a helpful term to consider when asking "am I forcing myself to wear mascara because I feel this is the only way I look presentable or do I actually like mascara."

Or it can be a helpful concept to look back on when undermining our internalized ideals of misogyny, towards ourselves and others.

This is a helpful term to put in our tool boxes to talk about the harm the systems of patriarchy, classism, and racism impose upon us.

Comp het can help us to understand why so many people look down on polyamory as a legitimate way of life.

It can be a helpful term for aspecs who are trying to figure out if they really want to date/have sex, or if they just believe these are the only things that will make you happy.

In general

Compulsory heterosexuality is just another term to describe a system we are all intimately familiar with. But by giving us the words to describe our experiences, it gives us the power to communicate those experiences more effectively, and to possibly understand why we're experiencing them.

This is just a bare basic knowledge post.

Honestly if you have the ability to, as in your internet history is not monitored in the way my friend's is, I encourage you to go on the deep dive through the sources listed below. Many of them are honestly only 30 pages long, that's a relatively short read, and understanding queer theory like this not only helps you to understand your own identity, but the ways in which you are connected to the rest of the fellow queer community.

Sources

Lesbian Masterdoc

Queer Theory 101: Compulsory Heterosexuality

Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence

Normativities Defined

Taglist

I'm tagging blogs bigger than me so that this has an easier time getting passed around as I mainly talk about aspec issues because I am aspec, but as stated above, I wanted to make sure that queer people who's internet histories are monitored and are only able to find information through tumblr safely could do so.

@our-queer-experience @our-sapphic-experience @our-lesbian-experience @our-aspec-experience @our-polyamorous-experience @our-pansexual-experience @our-unlabelled-experience @our-aroace-experience @our-mspec-experience @our-questioning-experience @our-bisexual-experience

#lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq positivity #lgbtq history #queer history #comp het #compulsory heterosexuality #transgender #bisexual #pansexual #mspec #polyamory #queer

[cultofsappho]

Ive come to the realization that the reason theres a small but loud group of people who are showing nothing but hate for the rwrb movie is because they have completely unrealistic expectations. People are forgetting that this is a cheesy romantic comedy, thats supposed to look and feel like a cheesy romantic comedy. This isnt going to be moonlight or gods own country or some other critically acclaimed, oscar nomintaed queer film that makes straight people go "hmm maybe they do deserve rights and respect🤷‍♀️"

Its gonna be a cheesy adult romantic comedy, thats gonna be a bit camp and over the top and thats exactly why its so good. I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch. I want to watch it and see two queer people fall in love and thats it. Thats how deep it goes. Maybe a sprinkling of politcal commentary in between.

There is this issue thats become bigger and bigger every passing year, that people expect every bit of queer representation to be the best thing ever. There can not ever be anything cringey or different or silly, and if it is then they send endless hate towards it, and in an industry that already hates to show queer people on screen, its this viscious cycle of someone finally being greenlit to make queer media, the media gets endless hate for not being perfect, the studio cancels the queer media before giving it a chance because theyve just 'proven that it wont make money', suddenly everyone is saying 'why do they keep canceling queer media😢', cycle repeats.

Im so over it. Let gay people be slightly cringy or cheesy or campy. Let queer media exist without putting it on this huge pedestal. Just enjoy things! And if you dont, dont watch it! Move on, find something better to do.

Yes!!! Thank you so much anon for putting this feeling into words much better than I could have!

"I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch."

Thank you.

I want light-hearted rom coms about queer adults just being queer adults and havig fun. I want comedy adventures where the characters just happen to be gay. I want more horror where at the end the final girl kisses a girl and can't belive they lived but not because they're gay. (suprisingly several of these exist and I love it)

I don't always want to think about the plight and horrors of being queer today with every queer movie I watch.

Sometimes, yes of course, I want to be seen on that level.

(Nimona, which came this weekend is a perfect example of a queer movie where I felt very very seen but also had a good time and was an incredibly silly fantasy adventure movie. But, still had the queer expereince intertwined.)

I'm looking forward to a movie that will be 90% rom com, and 10% realism/heavyness. re: being outed is a real thing that happens to people. famous people.

Alex and Henry go through some heavy shit. There's seriously traumatizing stuff at the end of the book. They're both dealing with mental illnesses, complex families, and rock-or-a-hard-place situations. I want all of that honored.

And, at the same time, I'm expecting a straight-to-streaming, mid-budget, movie that had to pass through a LOT of straight hands and board meetings to get to us.

Not to say we should love and accept every queer movie that comes out automatically, they have been done wrong in the past. (example: I skipped call me by your name bc the age gap still makes me too uncomfortable to watch)

But we have to give queer movies a chance to fit the genre they were made for, the tone they are made to be, and give queer creators a chance to show they are us annd they know us. The director is Bi. He's spent so much time going on about how much he related to Alex that he needed to make this movie. It's his first directing role, and I'm giving him a chance.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #mostly unrelated but I also saw a bunch of gay men on twitter screaming about how rwrb isn't *for* lesbians #and that we 'shouldnt be allowed to have it' #which is fucking wild! #and they somehow manged to work in the fact taht the author is NB into their argument??? #it was madness #but another example just how much vitriol is surrounding this fanbase #its completely insane if you think that Alex and Henry would gate keep their story to just queer men. #or that cmq would want that either

[sunnywalnut]

I fully believe that the only thing that stopped me from identifying as trans when I was younger was the fact of my autistic black and white thinking.

Well yeah. That guy is trans. And I think he's super cool. But I couldn't be trans despite the fact that I feel more like myself with him because he embodies everything I wish I could be but stop myself from being.

Oh no I absolutely could not be transgender at all! I didn't know I was a dude since I was three like all these other people who were taught the concept of gender and the fact that gay people exist from a young age and I only learned lesbians existed after I was ten years old.

Of course that person is transgender. The whole reason I changed the name on the sticky note set on their desk was because they're my friend and I'm an ally. Totally not because I want somebody to do the same for me.

Nah bro. I don't think my obsession with gender neutral names and wanting to change my name to Alex because it was the only gn name I knew at the time had any transgender reasons for it. I'm just super attached to the idea of accidentally being mistaken for a boy. Even if it's just by name.

The reason I specifically searched for books with male protagonists my age when I was younger was totally because of super straight reasons and not because I identified with them more than any of the female leads, despite being extremely similar to a lot of them.

Oh totally I'm not jealous of my brother who's only one year older than me, therefore I get to see him embody all these manly traits like getting a cool low voice and be taught things that I wish I could learn but I wasn't explicitly invited so I stay where I was.

What do you mean it's not normal to treasure the blue Finding Nemo basketball cap that I sneered at on Christmas Day for "looking too boyish" and wearing it inside the house while I crawled up on my grandfather's lap so he could read to me.

Of course my best friend of over seven years is my sister! Despite the fact that I feel completely uncomfortable when she claims that I am hers. Not because we're not family. Because something is wrong with the word "sister" and I can't tell what.

I mean shit. The only reason I realized that I could've been queer was bc somebody told me that if I(a "straight girl") liked a trans guy, then I would be pansexual.

Untrue, obviously, since trans guys are still guys, and my little 13yo brain thought the same way, but the fact that somebody said it so casually just opened the floodgates of "what ifs" for me.

And you know what?

The year after that, I came out publicly as bi. Then ace. Then two years after that gender fluid. Then in the same year, transmasc. Then lesbian a couple months later. Then transmasc but not lesbian after a couple weeks because my partner was also genderfluid. And now? Transmasc/trans man and bi, specifically for the girls and gnc folks.

Had that person not told me I was pansexual, I'm pretty sure I would've just gone around being indifferent to my romantic partners thinking that friendship was the romance all along this entire time.

Six entire years. And I was autistic the whole time.

It was always about being a good person for the "other" people who needed me until I realized I could be the other people as well.

The whole reason I didn't "show signs" of being transgender during my childhood?

Same reason I didn't show signs of being autistic.

I was mirroring people. I was mirroring what I thought was needed of me. Ignoring my interests or things I was curious about. Because I knew what was expected of me. That part of it was explained thoroughly, at the very least. The gender part of it all. And by God, I was going to do a good job at it.

And yeah. I was happy when I found dresses that were pretty.

Not because I was the one wearing them.

But because it meant that my mom thought I was doing such a good job at Gender that I deserved a skirt. In order to show it off to everyone.

Same reason I allowed my hair to be done. Little jewels to be twisted into my long locks that I grew myself and refused to cut. Because this was what I was good at. Everyone, even if they didn't like me, they liked my long, feminine hair. They liked my frilly, feminine dresses. And my shiny, feminine jewelry.

And well... I liked being liked. I liked being admired.

Because nobody noticed me any other way.

Unless it was for my art.

I was good at art.

I'm still good at art.

My "feminine" art.

I no longer get joy from long hair and frilly dresses and shiny jewelry.

But I still get joy from art.

Even if it isn't feminine.

Even if it isn't shown to anyone.

Because it is mine.

It is me.

It is the one thing that I grew up seeing that everyone could do. Regardless of skill. Everyone was thrown in a class together. Everyone crowded around the girl who drew anime in class. Everyone knew of the famous men like Van Gogh. Everyone was able to do art. Everyone was able to be creative. To get messy. To work with their hands.

And everyone meant that there was space for me, too.

There were finally shades of gray.

And I clutch them dearly to my heart, right next to the rainbows of devotion I painted on the inside walls of my ribcage.

Each palette I've created is a labor of love, used to picture the world in each wonderful shade of admiration.

And that is still the one thing that I have found that try as they might, they cannot sort into sexes.

So I keep my shades of gray. I keep my rainbows and my flags. And I paint them with all the colors I like. Because art showed me a way to be free. And I refuse to live my life in a cage. Regardless of who's hands made it.

I just know that it won't be mine.

#trans acceptance #trans rights #transgender #trans #transmasc #trans mtf #trans male #trans man #trans guy #gay art #art #art is my escape #art is therapy #autism acceptance #autism awareness #black and white thinking #the tism #trans artist #trans are beautiful #trans artwork #shades of gray #shades of gay #i love myself #sexism

[ariadnejoly]

I unapologetically love Girls

Yes, I'm bi, 😝 But I also love Girls, the comedy-drama series. The general opinion I see online is: most people can't stand to watch it. It's cringe. It makes them uncomfortable. For one reason or another, many haven't watched it. I would like to share my love for the show and what it means to me.

The glory of Adam Driver. Getting the obvious out of the way. He has always been gifted, this man who evokes such a raw and vulnerable edge. He is compelling, point blank, and this show acts as a long form story where he not only stuck around as one of the ensemble cast, but his character's evolution over the entire six seasons is a beautiful and subtle performance. I remember being surprised and delighted that Dunham didn't write out his character after a breakup, as they might do on say, Sex and the City. Adam Sackler hung around and became a core member of the group. Everyone else noticed his talent too, which is why Kathleen Kennedy snapped him up to play Kylo Ren in Star Wars. Girls gave me Adam Driver and I felt right at home in Star Wars with him. He's given his all to everything he's ever done. He is the actor of our generation. And he didn't get his breakthrough on the stage, or his episode of Law and Order. It was on Girls. But I don't need to brag. Just watch the show to see the absolutely feral and filthy fuckboi he starts out as. Watching it purely for Adam Driver will be worth it, and you might just end up liking other parts of the show, too.

It subverted my expectations constantly. And that's a good thing! People (me included) expected this new, anticipated show to be the Millennial Sex and the City. And I mean, there is sex, and there is Brooklyn, but this show goes in all different directions AND keeps up with male characters. See point 1 above. Adam, Elijah, Ray, and even dear, dysfunctional Desi round out the ensemble cast of women. As a long-time fan of Sex and the City, that show uses the Kens as ornaments, only utilized for sex and jokes, and breakups. The women don't talk about anything but the men they're dating. And guess what? That's fine! It is what it is. And I fuggin love that show --it was so formative for my 17 year old self. But then my 22 year old self watched the first season of Girls and was blown away by the way Dunham and the other creatives firmly planted their heels as an entirely different show that was not to be compared to anything that came before. These characters are complicated and deeply flawed. And at many times, unlikeable. But the writing is good. There's always one or two "bottle" episodes per season where characters are on a trip back to their hometown (season 1, episode 6), or the absolutely heartwrenching Marnie adventure in season 5 episode 6. I have many more examples I could give (Honorable mention to season 3 episode 9!). These episodes reveal another layer of complexity to each character in a way that feels lived in, possible, real. There's specificity and sharp wit. Characters often have a turbulent epiphany about their life in these bottle episodes, one that's usually scary to admit and confront. One of my favorite episodes is Hello Kitty (season 5 episode 7). It has so many moving parts, the play in the apartment building, the horrifying true story the play is based on...and yet that episode is so fun to watch. Beautifully written and directed. It has stayed deeply rooted in my mind as a piece of magic. This show has plot lines that are controversial and will absolutely divide people. It's not so middle of the road that it's blah, that’s for sure. It's irreverent and at times, utterly troubling. It makes you question your own character a little deeper. And that's why I keep coming back to study the show again and again.

Girls made me uncomfortable and cringe the first time I watched it. I was indeed like all the rest of the critics, appalled at Lena Dunham's flagrant nudity (I was from a Mormon town and had recently escaped the cult myself). Lena's body looked different than that one, victoria's secret model-type that we are all familiar with. Dunham's lack of shame horrified me and intrigued me. It tickled some deep part of my brain that yearned for the same liberation. But more than that, it was the scary way I related to the character within the first three episodes. Hannah is an aspiring writer who's 'bigger' than her friends. She hopes to be the voice of a generation. She wants to write a memoir. She’s just unkempt enough that no one takes her seriously. I was slack jawed after the pilot. I'd been watching myself on screen, for what felt like the first time ever. I staggered away from the tv and the episode rolled around in my brain, until a week went by and it was time for another episode. I'd just undergone a LEEP procedure to remove pre-cancerous cells from my cervix because I'd contracted HPV. Then episode 3 was about Hannah tracking down the boy who gave her HPV. Only to find out the ex she hooked up with that one time is gay. And yet again, it was like Lena Dunham was writing my life. Dating the gay boy who's a musical theatre aficionado? Yep. Me, Hannah, and Lady Bird. Hannah Horvath's life diverged from mine with every subsequent episode, but come on. If you were me, you would have been hooked too. Each season, no matter how batshit any character was, no matter what they did, I tuned in. And even though I was outraged when Hannah quit safe, secure jobs, like GQ (that allowed her to interview Patti LuPone!), it was really just me projecting my own money concerns. And when I cringed at her nude body, it was really just my own fatphobia and insecurity that I am still unlearning to this day. The writers of the show decided to make the characters self-sabotage in order to create comedy and drama. Hannah doesn't conform or stay quiet or people please to survive, like I had to. Watching Hannah and the girls became more of a “what not to do.” Back then I was comforted that while life was hard, at least I wasn't fucking up as badly as Hannah Horvath. Now I can laugh at the silliness and hijinks. It's all just good, fictional fun when you're past the poverty and crippling self-doubt of your twenties.

My thoughts on my body (and Hannah Horvath's) have changed. And that's the best thing of all. I rewatched Girls in 2022, a ten-year anniversary sort of thing. Wow. I saw it with different eyes. The eyes of someone older, wiser, happier. I watched it as a 32 year old, two years into my healing journey with my mind, body, and with food. And I see Girls in a new way. I see Hannah's body. It's straight out of Renaissance portraits. She is beautiful because she is real. I am also beautiful, and real. And so are you. Our bodies allow us to do and experience so many things. I'm grateful for the one I have. The culture in the 2010's was absolutely fat-shaming and misogynistic. When Dunham did press interviews, she deserved to be asked about her writing and directing, not why she was nude. And even when I wasn't ready to see Dunham's body (because I was still living in the fantasy that if I just did the next diet, I could finally be thin and look like the girls in the media), I am so glad Lena showed her real body and now that shit is immortalized in the Library of Congress. Good for her.

Girls shows some hard realities, for worse or better. The girls don't make lifelong vows to always remain friends. It's not a soulmate, forever Sunday brunch kinda thing. In fact, the show distances them all from one another over the last few seasons and at the end, gives them a sendoff in which they agree to float away from each other, more or less. And that's the true reality of some friendships, especially in your twenties. People will come and go throughout all of your life. It's a certainty. This show was creatively driven by a 24 year old woman, who was showing us the reality of adult life as a young person in a deeply corrupt, capitalistic system. A shitty recession where being an unpaid intern is legal. Getting felt up by your boss is tolerated by women in the office for the sake of financial security. Not eating to save money, hoping that boy texts you back, licking Cool Whip from the back of the spoon, avoiding the reality of your student loans. C'est la vie.

#Girls hbo #hbo girls #adam sackler #lena dunham #adam driver

[bennyyrabbit]

will you post about Ethan/Benny aka Bethan cause that is my favorite mbav pairing

Okay this is a great excuse for me to talk about how I think Bethan would work, actually, so, beware, rant incoming.

I think these boys have feelings for one another, Benny more than Ethan at current in the show. I think that it's far more likely that it will take growing up and maturing for them to get anywhere close to getting together, let alone actually admitting feelings.

So, I like Bethan as much as the next guy, but in order for them to be together without objectively screwing the characters up at least a little, they have to grow up. Senior year, maybe later.

They're uncomfortable even hugging each other in the show, it was the early 2010s, they're absolutely getting called slurs until that guy in Flushed thinks that Sarah is Ethan's girlfriend.

For Bethan to work, they have to grow up past caring about other people's perceptions of them. And Ethan cares less about that than Benny already.

It's Benny who'd have to do most of the work. But Ethan needs to grow up some, too.

I think Ethan even thinks his feelings for Benny are strictly platonic, because they've known each other so long, been friends so long, so it feels different than his friendship with Rory. And Ethan is definitely into Sarah. But for Ethan, being into Sarah and having feelings for Benny feel different. This is mostly because of the context, girl he likes after meeting her a couple times, boy he's known practically his whole life, who knows him inside and out. Ethan is bi with a focus on girls, I think.

Benny, though, Benny is very aware that his feelings for Ethan are not platonic. He knows because every time he thinks about it, he gets scared that somehow someone will hear his thoughts and know how he feels. He's superficial with girls because he's incapable of truly liking them. Both because he's just. Not actually into girls, and because he's too busy being in love with his best friend, who's super into this chick they got stuck with. Oh, and, "Betty's" "crush" on Rory? That wasn't acting, either. He got a taste of being a girl who could like a guy and not get called a fag over it, and damn, did that show itself hard. Once Benny went back to being Benny, though, his "crush" on Rory basically disappeared, and he got stuck being a guy who's in love with his best friend, and knows what it feels like to be able to like a guy and even almost be with that guy. In Jockenstein, Benny immediately takes the chance to be Tough Jock Guy and kicks two guys out of chairs at a table just because he can. He's insecure. He's overcompensating. He cares what people think. He has to get past it before he can do anything about his feelings for Ethan.

They both have to grow up before anything can happen. Benny won't let anything happen. He's the Bethan roadblock, more than Ethan not understanding that he's into Benny.

Those are my thoughts on Bethan. :)

#bethan #mbav #ethan morgan #benny weir #my babysitter's a vampire #asks

[banzaitaka]

I'll just copy paste while changing it to one fandom ^-^

Hello! Can I please request Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru in a hurt comfort fic where the male reader realizes they're bi because they've fallen in love with the character, but the reader is afraid their friendship with the character will end if they confess?

Preferably a sort of comfort fic where the character actually does love the reader and they end up together?

Thank you very much for writing and not being mad ^-^

---

Hooh hooh hooh hooh hooh okay okay okay okay I got this

This was way harder than it had to be q_q

Ouran Highschool Host Club Masterlist

I hope this is what you wanted & you enjoy reading!

Hikaru Hitachiin x male! reader

Kaoru Hitachiin x male! reader

Tamaki Suoh x male! reader

.

Bi panic

(Y/N) broke out in a cold sweat. This wasn't really happening, was it? No, the bi panic felt too real, as he eyed his friend from across the room. Damn, he looked good in that suit...The girls around him ruined the picture, though. The amount of jealousy crawling up inside of the male was almost suffocating. It hadn't been long since (Y/N) started to feel this way whenever he saw the host doing his host thing, and he really hoped this phase would go away soon.

There was no way he could like his friend that way. He never even considered being into guys too, and this was a terrible way to find out. What was he supposed to do? Wait this out and let the feelings build up inside him until he eventually gets invited to his friend's wedding years later? Or come out of the closet and confess his affection and make things awkward between the two? (Y/N), a pessimist, was going crazy.

Wait, did he just admit liking his friend? Fuck, shit. No, this was bad.

It wasn't until said friend pulled him to an empty room one day that his mind completely shut down before it could explode. "You haven't been acting like yourself...", is how he explained his worry.

(Y/N) bit his bottom lip, his heart pounding so hard it was almost painful. He didn't even react when tears of panic and fear rolled down his cheeks.

"I...I like you, okay?? And- And I think that's why we shouldn't be friends anymore...", that was a lie, he would never want this friendship to end. But the words just dripped out of his mouth, rejecting himself before the host could. "I get if this makes you uncomfortable, and I swear I just recently found out I was bi. I didn't befriend you because I wanted to date you-"

"Shut up.", Hikaru's words came out way harsher than intended, but he couldn't help the anger. (Y/N) flinched, immediately shutting his mouth. He was too occupied holding back his tears, he didn't notice Hikaru holding back his own. "Why the hell would you think that?", the brunette was met with silence, he clenched his jaw tight, "(Y/N), look at me!", he grabbed the shaking male by the shoulders and forced him to look at him, "How dense can you be...?"

Hikaru looked frustrated, flustered, angry...the sight shocked the (Y/HC)-haired. Both of them froze once their eyes locked, suddenly overwhelmed by the situation. It was like they both got woken up by a sudden loud noise. The host felt his cheeks getting hotter and hotter, as the other's words finally started to sink in.

(Y/N) liked him...he liked him. He had been too angry to hear (Y/N) assume such things that his actual confession was secondary to him. But now it started to hit him. And that embarrassed him. It was Hikaru that he liked. Not Kaoru. It was Hikaru, and Kaoru wasn't even in the picture. Multiple people confessed to the twins and couldn't care less about which twin they ended up being together, but (Y/N), he cared.

A little yelp escaped (Y/N)'s throat, suddenly pulled close to Hikaru's chest in a tight embrace. "I like you too...dumbass...", a shiver was clear in the male's voice, which made him hit himself on the inside, "About time you came out and said it..."

"I thought you would never notice me."

(Y/N) snapped his head in Kaoru's direction, disbelief clear in his teary eyes. He couldn't believe what he just heard, but being met with Kaoru's sweet smile, and a blush adoring his cheeks, it was hard to disprove. The brunette laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "I was trying really hard to make you realise how I feel about you, you know?"

The (Y/HC)-haired began stuttering nonesense, nothing that could be recognized as words at all, overwhelmed by this unexpected turn of events. Kaoru laughed again, "You're so cute.", he cooed and booped (Y/N)'s noise, playfully. But no matter how calm and collected he seemed on the outside, the host was doing cartwheels of unbelievable joy on the inside. He just felt he should contain himself, seeing how struck (Y/N) was.

The two of them sat in near silence for a few moments in order to calm down, with the brunette giggling and the (Y/HC)-haired letting out gasps instead of words, with a small smile appearing on his own face nonetheless. And once they did cool down, Kaoru gently grabbed (Y/N)'s hand, "So...wanna go on a date?"

For another minute or two (Y/N)'s rambling went on, avoiding any eye contact with Tamaki. Said male initially didn't know what to do, what to say. He himself only recently had his bi discovery, and didn't expect his crush to feel the same. (Y/N) was always there for the blonde and supported his dreams and goals, no matter how ridiculous they seemed to be.

Tamaki zoned out. He still heard (Y/N)'s voice, but didn't hear the words he was saying. A hand rose to his face to cover his mouth, while the other supported his elbow. Was it getting hot in here? His face felt incredily hot.

Only once the (Y/HC)-haired dared to look him in the eyes, the host snapped out of it, "So, you like like me, huh?", he stuttered out, definitely not the way he wanted to sound, but he just didn't seem to get the needed confidence, still in shock, "Wait, why are you crying...?", he moved his hand to wipe away the male's tears with his thumb, now concern adoring his face instead. (Y/N) swallowed, repeating his words, "Yeah, I like like you, but...You can just...We can just forget this and-"

"What do you mean 'forget this'??", the blonde's sudden loud voice made him flinch, "I could never forget this." Clearing his throat, Tamaki pulled (Y/N) into a stiff, yet loving hug, "I'm new to this whole guy likes another guy thing, but I will be the best boyfriend ever for you. Just you wait."

#ouran highschool host club #ouran highschool host club x reader #ouran highschool host club x male reader #tamaki suoh #tamaki suoh x reader #tamaki suoh x male reader #kaoru hitachiin #kaoru hitachiin x reader #kaoru hitachiin x male reader #hikaru hitachiin #hikaru hitachiin x reader #hikaru hitachiin x male reader #x reader #x male reader #ohhc #ohhc x reader #ohhc x male reader

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph!

Ace Awareness week is already over, but I'd be really happy if I could ask you something about being a-spec. I'm honestly not sure who to ask irl and I feel like I've learned a lot on your blog, that's why I'm sharing this with you. I really hope this isn't too long or personal. If it is, please ignore it and thank you for reading <3.

So, I recently found out for myself that I'm pan(-sex.&-rom.) and platoniromantic (whee, there's a word for it! and I'm not automatically a creep! whoop!) For me it means, I basically have crushes on all of my friends at all times, (but Lgbt wiki says it falls under the aromantic-umbrella) which can get a bit awkward.

Growing up as a girl with my female friends, I've been confused by how physically affectionate they were (Hugs, and hand holding; Platonically sharing the bed etc.) bc I don't think any of them were sapphic. It was just cute and sweet for them, but they didn't want more. As a consequence I've been careful not to act on those feelings and not make my friends uncomfortable or abuse their trust(hence why I thought I'm creepy); the times I hinted at taking it further, they never seemed to be interested (I mean, what are the chances they're even sapphic?) It's kind of been the same with my bi/straight male friends. My dating pool is basically my small rl friend group (currently 2 lovely women), but I guess that way it's less likely they're also like me romantically back?

Over the years, it's just caused me a bit of heartbreak, because I have cared deeply about my friends and crave a closer romantic connection to someone. And, I mean, I do think it's kinda sweet that when my lizard-brain sees something friend-shaped, it wants to put a ring on it, but I don't really know how to proceed from here.

I'm honestly embarrassed that I'm already in my mid-twenties and have so little experience (no romantic/sexual relationships, not even proper kissing) (partly bc the pandemic struck 1 year after I got out of school). Do you maybe have some advice on how to meet people that 'match'? I'm quite shy and people usually call me uptight, so I haven't really been to any queer spaces in rl bc I'm a bit intimidated. Like, I don't seem particularly queer and I'm not great at talking about these things (I'm not even out to my family yet). Heck, for the longest time I thought I'm straight and just doing friendships wrong.

I'd appreciate a morsel of your wisdom, but it's also been really nice to just be able to share this with someone. It's made me feel less weird. Thank you.

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

Never ever hesitate to ask a question here... sometimes I answer them, sometimes I don't, but I try my best! <3 Especially asks about asexuality, because I like sharing the stuff I learned on my journey, AND I also enjoy researching to learn more as I reply to these asks!

So, OOOF, romance is definitely not something I know a lot about. And PLEASE don't be embarrassed at all. It's society that engrains this horrid notion that if you're in your 20s and you still haven't met someone / had sex, you're all dried up and no good (hence all the terrible ageism in fandom spaces). Nonny, I'm in my 40s and I've never had a serious relationship – sexual nor romantic – in my entire life. I crave wanting to be in love, but sadly it's not something that's probably ever in my future. And that said, I am LITERALLY the worst person to ask advice on how to "meet people" – I'm neurotic and introverted with horrid social anxiety, so meeting new people for me is a months-long prep period for me. And because I'm ace, I feel like sites like tinder and bumble aren't going to welcome me, so I've just... never tried.

Pfff so I suppose probably looking into community groups in your area, or joining social program (both things I haven't done because – you know – anxious). A-spec relationships are tough, it seems, because some of us such as myself just want to meet someone I can cuddle and love and spend all my time with for the rest of my life, while others might want the sex but not the romance... it's tough. Honestly there's no right answer I can offer you, mainly because I'm very inexperienced myself.

For me, I take joy in loving the people in my life in the various roles they play in it: my coworkers, my sister, my besties, and my family all have different attachments to me. I care about them all, and it's fulfilling in its own way. And I DO want a partner, if one will ever have me, but it's not a necessity to make life fulfilling for me.

I also haven't really been to queer spaces IRL either other than Pride and the cons I've visited, but yeah I feel like I'm going to be intruding because I'm not outgoing myself. I really wish I had the right answer for you, Lovely. I'd like to know myself. I feel like, sometimes, that I just got in too late.

ANYWAY, sorry if this isn't a good reply nor make you feel better, but I'm happy you felt comfy enough to share your story with me. Asks like this one make ME feel less alone too, Nonny. *HUGS**

If anyone has any advice, please feel free to add onto this post <3

#steph replies #aspec #chatting with nonnies #i am not a professional #my advice #life advice #sexuality #about me #my thoughts #sorry i suck nonny

[redheadbigshoes]

God, this recent surge in "bi lesbian" support makes me so upset!! So uncomfortable, so upset!! Especially those complaining that we're trying to "box in" the idea of a lesbian like!! Maybe don't use a label if it doesn't fit.

I swear, these days I don't feel like people who don't like men have ANY home in the GBT+ community. I don't find any comfort around people who say things like "a bi lesbian is a lesbian attracted to men." (Actual quote I saw.) They don't take a second to analyze what they're actually saying! It hurts, I wish I could have been attracted to men so I didn't have to deal with this. Awful, awful, awful, just leave us alone. :(

(And for the record, every lesbian I know irl (and I'm in a server for my city's lesbians) is EXTREMELY uncomfortable with this and the bi girls I've talked to about it (though admittedly less) said it makes it seem like being bi is lesser.)

Sad day :( -🦇

I feel like the whole “bi lesbian” thing is not only because of misogyny and lesbophobia (because people center men so much they don’t accept and they ignore there’s people out there who are not attracted to men) but also because of how people can be so extreme with the idea of inclusion and acceptance.

What they seem to lack understanding is that not all identities are supposed to be inclusive (of all genders). Gay and lesbian are exclusive labels that complete exclude the opposite gender from their identity. But you don’t really see as much discourse around “bi gays” comparing with “bi lesbians” because people are misogynistic and usually accept gays not being into women but when it comes to the lack of attraction to men… And also because the label gay has been wildly used as an umbrella term (which I don’t particularly agree but this is a whole other conversation).

I literally cannot understand if in their logic a “bi lesbian” is a lesbian attracted to men then why they feel like saying they’re bi isn’t enough ? That seems extremely biphobic.

And yes lesbians (and queer people in general) I know irl know this label isn’t an actual thing. It’s like I always say, someone who actually has a life outside the internet knows how stupid this label sounds.

What’s most ironic about “bi lesbian” supporters is that in theory they’re all like “let’s fight misogyny, biphobia, homophobia, transphobia” when by supporting this label they’re automatically being all of the things they say they fight against.

The saddest and most frustrating part is that they think by using that label they’re only affecting lesbians so that’s why they don’t care at all about it. If they knew how it can affect other identities there wouldn’t be a discourse about it (or at least the label wouldn’t be as popular as it is).

#stephanie answers #🦇 anon #‘bi lesbians’ #long post

[teacupballerina]

So I have a bit of a strange ask, concerning Aku/Ikra from “Jack and the Warrior woman”. There was this one scene where Jack and Ikra were watching some dancers perform. This particular scene has been bugging me for quite a while. And I’m curious to know wether you might have been able to make sense of it?

when the second (and male) dancer comes in, Ikra appears to feel sort of uncomfortable. So far I haven’t been able to find a reason behind this reaction. I could be missing something obvious. Or just be digging too far into it lol.

What do you think?

I've answered this a few times on my blog if you just search "Ikra" but these images needed to be made so aaaaw shit here we go again,

Basically this scene is supposed to be another "hint" that Ikra is actually Aku, by implying that Aku, as a predominantly male being, is attracted to girls.

In fact the entire episode is 10x better if you watch it picturing Aku as the one doing everything because he sometimes can't help letting his true personality through. Like his reaction to the desert shrew for example.

So what is actually happening here?

Aku is sooo pleased to see a cute girl dancing, like the other men

Then the bear dancer enters and Aku is so disappointed AND realizes he is about to have to hide his boner to keep up appearances

Sheepishly looking towards Jack with an "Aw you REALLY shouldn't have" expression while internally kicking himself because they're just trying to be nice and inclusive but DAMN IT AKU DESIRES TO GAZE UPON THE FEMALE DANCER FML

Aku then averts his eyes because while Jack can accept that this is just a part of another culture and being a little bi comes with the territory of being a samurai, Aku can not stand to see such a strong warrior male prancing about like a dainty girl. Aku would really like the girl to come back, but he does not want to risk blowing his cover and squandering months of troll prep over one little dance routine. So he allows the others to think "Ikra" is fine with this development and takes a sip of wine to make himself care less

But actually this is not fucking fine, Aku thinks this is the most cringe thing he's ever seen and can't believe he has to deal with this shit right now, it's his own fault, why do humans have to be so nice, this sucks, etc.

Also after over 20 years I just realized Ikra/Aku is eating nothing but a PINEAPPLE of all things, the most suspicious thing I have ever seen, how did they get away with it, this is going to be my new favorite Aku meme. IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW

#samurai jack #aku #ikra #aku theories #arts #doodles #screencap edit #i wanted to do the entire ep like this just redrawing aku as ikra to show how Edgy Action Hero he can be #but this scene is the best fr #silverflower72

[coentinim]

I think this quest for gender neutrality to not be particularly good, and this inclusivity of the "non-binary" only seems to do good to a minority of people. I think this really toxic artificial femininity tend to explode. Like, because, when one has a binary, it allows actually more "ingroup" variation, but now, because "non-binary" had been so normalized, and the vast majority of people I know have an emotional need to be recognized as a man or as a woman, most women could feel a need to exagerate their femininity. It's also reflective of clothing too. For example, when one had this set rule: women wear dresses and men wear pants. Even if it seems rigid, it also meant that a man could have fun with ribbons, trims and colors if his budget would allow it, and his clothes would still be considered men's wear. A woman could wear the most dull, severe cut of dress, that's basically a buisness suit with a skirt, and her garments would still be considered a woman's dress. I think we humans, as a species, are both gendered and sexed, and most attempts to push it out tends to have it come back in, exept in a way that is objectively way worst.

I kind of agree but I also don't. If someone wants to be nonbinary and go by they/them, it's not my problem and I will respect that. Of course there could be reasons behind it - like a lot of cosplayers identify as genderqueer because they frequently dress up as characters of the opposite sex. So I don't think it's bad or anything.

I am in favor of women and men wearing whatever they want and not gendering clothes at all. I think men would be relieved to be able to wear summer dresses without being called slurs because they wouldn't feel so hot (and wouldn't sweat so much). And like, humans have this thing where they feel the need to organize everything into neat boxes. Look at academia, everything gets categorized for easier perception. That's also why everything gets gendered. That's a natural process we'll probably never get past, since even in lgbtq spaces people say "fem-presenting nonbinary" or "amab nonbinary". If they're truly nonbinary, why gender them at all? I know this ask wasn't about that, but the hypocrisy of the lgbtq community astounds me.

Also I used to feel uneasy because I'm not sure if I'm into men or if it's just "straight girl propaganda" everywhere that makes me even consider liking them, so how do I label myself? Am I bi, lesbian, something else entirely? So I decided to ditch the labels completely since it's nobody's business who I like, and there's a certain relief that comes with that. Maybe gender abolishionists feel the same way about gender. Hell, even I sometimes feel the same way about gender and I don't overthink my identity as a woman at all... anymore.

Also yeah at like 15 I thought that maybe I'm nonbinary because I didn't like my newly feminine body, I felt uncomfortable and sexual since I wanted to be flat and dainty like models and wear trendy clothes without looking like a hooker. But it went away and I didn't need to change my gender ever. So maybe nonbinary ppl feel that way too, and don't need to change genders, but it's not my place to judge them or tell them "hey, you have to choose 1 of the 2". Like I said in the beginning, not my business, so I'll respect their choice even though I personally feel different. I'd rather my kid used "he/she/they/bunny" pronouns online than see them drink or do drugs or something.

[yallemagne]

So far asking for textual queerness in Dracula media since it's not the 1890's or Hays Code era anymore to self-censor as much is a monkey's paw, because so far we've got: 1) "bi-homicidal" Dracula in love-hate with woman Van Helsing 2) queer Lucy who punishes Mina for not loving her back and gets killed by Dracula over this (and for being the promiscuous sapphic trope in two cases)

I'd rather have the

You cut off there, bud. I'm guessing you're saying you'd rather have unhealthy straight than unhealthy queer dynamics displayed. I'd just rather have good media.

Yeah, I don't enjoy the tendency of casting queer people as these evil, corruptive, predatory creatures rather than... ya know. Human beings. I feel like the tendency of making queer people just straight-up awful is probably left over from when we could get no representation whatsoever. In order to publish stories featuring themselves, queer people had to write morally dubious/evil queer characters that always die in the end. That's fair. Until you get straight people writing those fucking stories so they can claim diversity whilst also shitting on anyone not cishet, white, and Christian.

So, "bi-homicidal" Dracula... it's telling that they felt the need to make VH a woman. Not only a woman but just a very strange and homophobic woman. Agatha van Helsing would corner a gay couple and harass them until they told her who was the bottom and who was the top. Everything about the Dracula miniseries was annoying. It's telling that they were so uncomfortable with the bi part of bisexual that they killed Jonathan off in the first episode and replaced him with a woman. AND IT IS VERY TELLING that they gave all the queer characters and the characters of colour the most unnecessarily brutal deaths. HMMM MOFFAT.

It's because of heteronormativity that Dracula had to switch from Jonathan to Agatha. The bisexuality is less representation, and more of a crutch. Dracula can switch off his attraction to men whenever the straight male writers get too uncomfortable with it, but whenever they need it for a horror scene, he can turn it right back on.

Lucy who punishes Mina is just promiscuous Lucy but reclaimed as a "girlboss". It casts sapphic people as predatory, it casts bisexual people as more promiscuous and willing to cheat and homewreck, it's annoying. You can write a story where Lucy is queer (in fact, most do, but they just make that part of the sexual deviancy of the Bloofer Lady), but because of the rule that you're not allowed to depict healthy relationships onscreen because they're "boring", we get this shit. Lucy's just Dracula at that point. She's the replacement Dracula who gets punished by the actual Dracula for stealing his idea.

The issue here is adaptations' refusal to have Lucy be the sweet young woman she is in the book. No adaptation can accept more "submissive" or "girly" girls, they have to be subversive and manly (but not in a butch way, never in a butch way). Women have to be overtly sexual and sarcastic and just basically toxic men but with tits. The only way to be femme in a movie is to be a femme fatale who objectifies herself to? Get back at men? Great plan. But sometimes you don't WANT to be fatale, you just want to be fucking femme and kiss your girlfriend. But since these movies are made with only the male gaze in mind, you can't.

And listen, I know someone's gonna blame me if I keep begging for Holmward and then an adaptation comes out where Jack like... I dunno, kills Lucy so he can have Arthur all to himself, but that's just the cards we're being dealt here. The solution isn't to settle for eating shit, it's to demand something better than the shit on our plates. It's not our fault for asking for representation. We aren't inflicting this upon ourselves. If I asked for a movie about an ace person and Hollywood responded with a movie about a sex-repulsed serial killer who kills people who have sex, THAT ISN'T MY FAULT. THIS ISN'T A MONKEY PAW SITUATION, THIS IS JUST BAD WRITING. I'm not being karmically punished for challenging the laws of nature, mainstream media just sucks in terms of representation.

#update #people ask me things #dracula #dracula daily #dracula rant #rant

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Pride Month Character Sexuality Headcanon Moodboards 1. Yasmine - Lesbian 2. Demetri Alexopoulos - Gay 3. Moon - Bisexual 4. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - Bisexual

Next up is everyone's favorite Demetri Alexopoulos-obsessed slightly evil predatory bird boy, Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz! Unlike with Demetri, I am fully aboard the Bisexual Eli Express. Justice for bi guys!!! We need more in media because it is in fact sexy and valid to like dick AND boobs!!!

Now, quick disclaimer that there is not a single mlw Eli ship that I personally fuck with in the least. I've been pretty loud about the reasons for my immense distaste of H*wkM**n, and could in fact write a 20 or so page essay on why they're one of my all-time NoTPs if prompted. Furthermore, my first impulse upon seeing any other female character paired with Eli (or...really, any character who isn't Demetri, or possibly Miguel in extremely specific circumstances) is to keep said pairing approximately 491263844976 feet away from me. BUT, despite my personal feelings of revulsion upon seeing Eli paired with anyone who isn't his soulmate Demetri Alexopoulos, I fully believe Eli is bisexual and that there's plenty of textual evidence to support this!

So let's dive in!

The first thing that comes to mind is how Eli vents to his mom in the 2x05 flashback about how he's "never going to get a girlfriend." Granted, as I've mentioned in some other posts, high school dating is often more about social status (i.e. being seen as "desirable" enough to get an SO makes you more popular) than genuine romantic attraction. BUT Eli voicing his concerns to someone he clearly trusts more than most people indicates to me that he wants a girlfriend more than just for show--he's attracted to girls.

I have a friend who since moved on from the fandom who did autistic analyses of Eli, and pointed out that he's often uncomfortable with eye contact. Pre-Hawk, the only two people we see him make consistent eye contact with are Demetri and his mom. This seems like a pretty good indication that these are the two people he trusts the most, and can most honestly "bare his soul" and be himself around. Another reason I think his vent to his mom about worrying he's never going to have the experience of dating a girl has authenticity to it. I can't compare this to Demetri's interactions with his mom, unfortunately (and it's a damn shame!!! I demand to see Ms. Alexopoulos in S6!!!), but I can say for certain that Eli has expressed wanting a girlfriend from a (presumably) vulnerable and honest place, while S1 Demetri only ever seems to do so performatively.

As previously established, there is no bigger H*wkM**n loather than I. I make no secret of this. HOWEVER!!! I feel like it'd be naive--and maybe even dumb--to pretend that there isn't at least some physical attraction there. Granted, they're definitely emotionally incompatible in a way I wish the show had the balls to actually address (like how the fuck is a pacifist gonna last in a relationship with a dude who loves fighting more than just about everything else lmao), but I can buy they find each other physically (and probably sexually) attractive. Moon basically says as much when she's dumping Eli in S2! They very much strike me as one of those teenage couples who are all over each other 90% because of hormones. I'd say the main difference between them and Dem and Yas is that the performative aspect doesn't seem to be there. While Dem and Yas feel like they're putting on a show, it seems like Hawk and Moon really were just that horny.

So throughout S2, we see Hawk treat Moon in kind of a possessive way, and more as arm candy to make him look good than as her own person (yet another reason I am such a Hater lmao). Despite this, he spends so much time in S3 and S4 moping over her and pining for her that I do think they had somewhat of an emotional connection, even if it was pretty surface-level. I still think their relationship was mostly based on looks and social status, but him being that hung up on winning her back (a frankly unhealthy thing that should not have been narratively rewarded btw) instead of just moving on to some other hot girl who'd give him the time of day indicates that Moon was more than just a beard.

So like. I feel like if you weren't convinced that Eli has feelings for Demetri, you wouldn't be reading a post written by tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends XD But to briefly summarize: Eli spends much of the show shooting Demetri Yearning Looks and being the only one amused by his antics. Even when they're falling out, Eli is borderline obsessive about harassing Demetri when he could just ignore him and focus on his Cool New Karate Friends. He often seeks Demetri out in fights in a way that feels pretty damn fruity. He's pretty physically affectionate with Demetri, and never seems to mind when Dem is physically affectionate with him (to the point of near cuddling in S4). This is...unusual for teenage boys, to say the least! Oftentimes even the straight ones are so terrified of being perceived as gay that they're super stingy about all but the most "no homo" type of physical affection. The fact that Dem and Eli pretty liberally put their arms around each other and give each other little gestures of physical affection makes me think that they've been in a homoerotic friendship so long that they like. Don't even realize it comes across as kinda gay??? Like Miguel and Demetri are physically affectionate too, but it's much more casual and doesn't feel as intense.

Also worth a mention that Eli is literally simping for Demetri so hard that he joins Demetri's karate dojo right after being terribly traumatized and deciding to quit karate. Why??? Because Demetri said some encouraging things to him, cuddled him on a couch, and basically confessed his love by being like "hey I'll always care about you no matter how you wear your hair or what name you go by." This man is whipped as fuck. His actor basically confirmed he won the championship for Demetri! And lest we forget, the final push that got him to betray the dojo he'd previously devoted his entire life to--also led by a dangerous war criminal sure not to take betrayal lightly, might I mention--was seeing Demetri in danger. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz is in fact Down Bad.

So I'm not a big fan of the migu/eli ship for reasons I don't want to get into here, but imo it's completely possible Eli had feelings for Miguel at some point (I just don't think they were ever reciprocated because Miguel is in love with Sam!). He definitely idolizes Miguel and puts him on a kind of "coolness" pedestal that feels like it could easily be romantic. He also gets so obsessed with avenging Miguel that he breaks the arm of the other guy he has a crush on, so...there's also that!

Come to think of it, there are actually some really interesting parallels between the Miguel/Eli and Moon/Eli relationships. Both are kind of a case of Eli getting really enamored with this idealized idea/concept he has of a person and getting so wrapped up in that that he has a fundamental misunderstanding of and neglects the actual person's wants and needs. Hence why he's so confused when Moon and Miguel tell him they don't want him in their lives if he's going to be an ass--this isn't how the doe-eyed ever-adoring hot girlfriend and stone-cold, super aggressive badass bestie he built up in his head were supposed to react! Why are they acting like independent people with agency who don't conform to the versions of themselves in Eli's fantasies???

(This is also why I think Demetri's the healthiest and most sensible romantic partner for Eli btw. Eli doesn't idealize and borderline deify Demetri the way he does for other people he has feelings for/seems to have feelings for. He's known Dem so long that we can reasonably extrapolate any feelings that developed were based in the Demetri that was actually there, and not a fictional version he built up in his mind. In fact, it almost seems like Demetri knows Eli has a tendency to do this and won't let Eli project an untrue version of Demetri onto the real guy. That might be why Demetri staunchly refused to change himself to go along with Eli's karate shenanigans in early S2--he was basically saying "I am who I am, and I refuse to become this impossibly glorified image you're projecting onto me." And I can't blame him--I actually get really annoyed when people try to put me on a pedestal, and will often go out of my way to break their illusion that I'm whatever perfect, wholesome box they try to shove me in XD Bottom line being that between Moon, Miguel, and Demetri, I think Demetri has the healthiest relationship with Eli because it's, at the end of the day, the most honest and doesn't hinge on any untrue and unfair projections.)

At the end of the day though!!! The fact that Eli is able to separately idealize both a guy and a girl and both in a pretty romantic or romantic-coded way is pretty damning proof to me that he is in fact bisexual! Look, not all bisexuals process their feelings in healthy ways okay aiksjuuhfkdhg

He dyes his hair ALL THE DAMN BISEXUAL FLAG COLORS. And on the order they're on the flag, too??? Red (S2 - S3) to purple (S4) to dark blue (S5)??? Fucking wild. If this was a fanfiction I would joke about it being too on-the-nose, BUT NO. THIS IS CANON MATERIAL IN THE SHOW.

Okay, I'm sorry, but. NO non-queer dude dyes his hair bright-ass colors like that. Red or blue maaaaybe, but PURPLE??? NO. Straight men simply do not dye their hair purple. Like speaking as an LGBT I'm here to tell you that in the community, brightly colored hair (but especially more "flamboyant," girly colors like purple or pink) basically a signal that says "hey, I am also queer!" ESPECIALLY if you're a dude. Straight girls dyeing their hair bright-ass colors is more common, but I have never known a single straight guy to. And that's because it's associated with being gay af.

Also I can't tell you the amount of times they've put this dude in bisexual lighting. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are S2 Valley Fest and the S3 arm break, but I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting. Demetri is there both the times I mentioned. Hmmmm.

Took some liberties with the bisexual flag in this moodboard to better fit Eli's vibe...and also like. These are literally the three colors he dyes his hair in canon. I had to XD

I'm still not over that btw aksjdkhuef like it's so bisexual it's PAINFUL

I really like how this one came out <3 Hopefully I was able to capture the full scope of technonerd, avian motifs, and that one S3 angerboi I-want-to-punch-everything-and-everyone arc!

Btw the top middle picture is just supposed to be neon fire because our boi is Fiery™️, but then I realized it...kind of also looks like a mohawk??? So kudos to me for the accidental character accuracy XD

Okay so. Would you believe I have several more of these that I didn't have the chance to post? ^^; I uh. Guess I'll have to make July Pride Month 2.0 and post them then XD This is what happens when I'm too overambitious in my shitposts, eh?

As always, pic credits available upon request!

#eli moskowitz #hawk #cobra kai #aesthetic #moodboard #ck pride month moodboards #bisexual #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #cobra kai season 4 #cobra kai season 5 #happy pride 🌈 #lgbt #lgbtqia #queer #queer pride

[treecove]

ok i finally have the braincells so here's some of my criticisms/pointing out of .... questionable content in bg3 that i've personally come across. it may get a bit long. apologies for if it's difficult to read, i'm just trying to lay out my thoughts here. some things are also more serious than others.

The Dark Urge this one is relatively small, as playing the dialogue for the dark urge kind of hints at it, but i do think that it needs a MUCH clearer indication that it can be dark and probably disturbing/distressing to play as. and also that it should probably not be reccomended for a first run, as it does change things quite a bit.

sexuality and romance choice i think it would just be helpful if, when a party member hits on you or shows interest, that you are able to say 'i'm not into girls/guys/anything at all'. and that this specifically shuts down their comments. i have a friend that was disappointed that he couldn't say this to lae'zel, and got further uncomfortable when she kept on saying 'you will wonder what i taste like' when he's a gay guy trying to play a gay guy. it would also be uncomfortable for someone not interested in that aspect of the game/romance and sex in general, i would imagine. also related to this, and i do understand why every single romanceable character is bisexual as this just makes things a lot easier, but i do feel that there should be characters that just are not bi, even just among npcs. there's some npcs in same gendered relationships which is good, though i think there needed to just be more characters that clearly are not bi. (though given the dragon age modding scene's track record, i also get just wanting to avoid that outright.)

trangender characters you the player character can be trans and i love this. i do wish there was a way to have the more feminine frames with a flatter chest, and vice versa, though. i mean we have genital options, but no chest options...? (also no weight or further body shape options but i digress). i also think i noted maybe, two? npcs? that were transgender? and i feel that there really needs to be more trans and nonbinary npcs, specifically prominent ones and not relegated to background characters that you blink and miss (which one of the ones i found was). bg3 has given me as a player far more options to play a trans nonbinary character than any game ive played thus far, but there needs to be more beyond just the player themself in terms of trans rep.

party member racism as a romani person myself, i found myself relating to the tiefling group quite a lot. i dont expect larian to not include fantasy racism in the game, but playing as a tiefling and having a party member, lae'zel, call you and your kind 'cockroaches' with no way to chew her out for it, and just having no proper way to direclty combat the racism of your party members in general is. very uncomfortable. astarion also has some lines like this, and while he does eventually change his attitude, i havent been able to change or confront that with lae'zel. not good for someone youre meant to adventure with and trust.

the goblins and treatment of the way that the goblins are depicted and treated (while not wholly larian's fault since they didn't make the setting- still not an excuse tho) could have been handled better. there are a few instances where you can stand up for them as being people without condoning their actions, but overall they are treated as 'dirty uncivilised tribals' and i hope i dont need to explain why that kind of depiction is bad. they're background cronies of the bbeg, explicitly revealed to having been manipulated and controlled into serving the bbeg, and any exploration of actual goblin culture is treated as a joke.

murdering goblin kids specifically is okay apparently on the topic of the goblins- i was appaled when i realised that in order to free halsin, you have to kill two goblin kids. in fact, if you choose to attack the whole goblin camp, you kill more goblin kids. nobody bats an eye at this. yet, when you do the reverse and attack the grove where there are children that you can kill/cause the death of, this is explicity treated as a bad thing. it's just disgusting that goblin children being killed is not given the same treatment, just because they're goblins.

ableist abuse is fine when the person was abusive to you first in the underdark in act 1 (and later in act 3 if you helped them), there is a dwarven? couple, baelen and derryth bonecloak. baelen has gone missing, and you can find and rescue him. he clearly has some kind of neurological disability, and has difficulty with verbal communication and his memory. his wife, derryth, berates him and treats him as stupid for his disability. you can confront her about it in act 1, and later in act 3 go snooping and find out more information about their relationship- baelen, prior to whatever caused his disability, was an abusive and evil man who beat her and gave her the facial scar she has, among other abuses. of course this abuse is horrific, but this is then used to justify derryth's own abuse of the man, since he now is reliant on her for food ect. she basically says that she can treat a disabled man however she wants because at least she cares for his needs and he abused her anyways so it's payback. i do believe that his disability does not override or excuse what he did in the past and that she has every reason to still hate him, but this still does NOT excuse this treatment of him now that he is disabled and relies on her as a caregiver. becoming disabled is not a fucking punishment and it's disgusting that larian even chose to include this kind of thing in their game at ALL. it's also worsened by the fact that i see many people commenting on how they're going to just kill him because he deserves it, and it's 'doing him a favour since he's disabled now'. this is the kind of sentiment that larian are encouraging by having this narrative in their game and as a disabled person myself, and someone who has family and friends who literally act the way baelen does with his disability, it is not fucking okay.

twin drow sex workers i hope i don't need to explain why it's fucking gross and creepy that larian have two sex workers in act 3 be twins that regularly participate in sex with the same client at the same time, and the player is also able to do so. some party members, such as karlach, comment on how them being literally brother and sister is gross, so it's not as if larian are not self aware enough to see why it's not good to fetishise incest. but they put it in there anyways! for the player to indulge in! and it's depicted as sexy! being a survivor of incest csa, i was pretty shocked and appaled by that inclusion. they could have very easily just had the two be runaway lovers. there was literally no need for them to be made twins.

sexual slavery and abuse is sexy when it's halsin if you do actually sleep with the aforementioned drow along with halsin, he will have a new dialogue where he talks about being held prisoner in the underdark 'chained to the bed, somewhere between a prisoner, a guest, and a consort'. so, he was kept as a sex slave and just slave and captive in general by drow for a while. the player can say that's horrible, but halsin brushes this off and says it wasn't so bad. because apparently he liked being kept as a sex slave? this is just brainwashing and coercive rape, larian. considering how they handled astarion's sexual abuse and slavery, it was outright shocking to learn that halsin's own abuse is handled so poorly and in fact turned into some weird bdsm fetish instead.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3

[liliallowed]

*happy squealing*

I get a CHOICE!?

I GET A FRIKING CHOICE!?

still cis female biologically but like...

since my language has no male and fem pronouns I'm not offended by any of them! (it's like, a cultural thing I don't mind being misgendered because well... pronouns are a bunch of words... but I still identify as female even if I use they them pronouns.)

if someone wants to call me he/him I'm not offended, just slightly confused if you were referring to me or someone else, since it's rarely used to address me. it doesn't give me dysphoria or make me uncomfortable. just a bit confused! so if you want to, go for it! just make sure to refer to me by my name first then say he/him. being called he/him makes me feel silly and mischievous.

she/her makes me feel like my default but a bit more... idk. girly? English is a bit strange since it's not my first language.

they/them reminds me of my native language and i feel more at home. I love this pronoun the most but just because I like being called a they/them doesn't make me none binary. you know?

I use she/them pronouns for the sentiment and because I like it! I may be cis but I still know that sense of confusion with deciding your identity. I explored the different things and came out as female. it feels nice.

having a choice THEN checking the female box...bit makes me SO HAPPY! because I see that there's an opportunity to meet queer friends and they're accepting! I don't know how to describe it. it's feels so sweet and wholesome. to have a choice AND pick female. not just choose it because I AM one by predetermined standards.

I also identify as genderfluid because of myself using they/them pronouns from time to time to explain why I'm neither a none binary or completely female. it's like, a short cut to explain the sentiment of what they/them means for me as a girl.

I primarily identify as a cis female. and then all of the above in a nice soup :)

in terms of sexuality I'm an ace Lesbian with SOME occasional boy liking.

(I'm more a lesbian than a bi lol)

that just simplifies to abrosexuality. where I'm adaptable to change and if I meet a person I like, I like them! but it's more likely they are a gal.

#coming out #i was taking this test #and it surprised me #thought id write more about myself here! #lgbtq+ #lili lore

[roseofhybrids]

The best way I've found to describe being aroace goes a bit like this.

Let's take a straight man for example. He's attracted to women, but not other men. No matter how handsome or kind, no matter how well he gets along with another guy, he simply isn't attracted to a guy like how he is with ladies. No matter what your sexuality is, straight, gay, bi, pan, you simply are not attracted to your family members. No matter how hot your parent or sibling is, you just simply don't have those kinds of feelings for them because they're a close relative.

For me, it's like that but with everyone. No matter how beautiful, or how well we get along, those feelings of romantic and sexual attraction simply DO NOT occur. Be it some wires in my brain not connecting or just some mutation in my mind, whatever the cause, I just don't experience those feelings. That's just how it is, c'est la vie.

Many can try to find a reason why they don't occur, find a mental switch that if flipped would make me be able to feel that way about another person. Personally, I don't see the point in doing anything about it.

Say they created some pill that would turn me from ace to allo. I probably wouldn't bother taking it. Not because "Oh not if I'm not ace I'll just be straight and I can't have that." (and the price this hypothetical drug would have in the US of A aside). I wouldn't bother because I don't see the point in doing so.

One night, before I knew what asexuality was, I can remember laying in bed thinking it over. I thought to myself, "Well, I don't like guys... but I don't like girls either... So, I guess I'm straight but just won't ever date anyone." It wasn't till my final year of high school that I realized the flaw in that logic.

It took the better part of a year to put two and two together. Learning the word asexual didn't make me ace, it just gave me a word to describe a concept I already knew. Heck, I can distinctly recall learning the word and finding the definition very relatable. But my thought wasn't "Oh, so that's what I am" no, my first thought "neat, good for them." It wasn't until health class when I started to think about it more. I learned that the age of consent is 16 in Ohio and was confused. I thought to myself, "what's the point of it being less than 18? We're all still kids, why would anyone want to sex?" Upon later hearing my classmates talk about sex and being in relationships that it started to click that I was the odd one out. The age of consent of 16 because teens have those feelings for each other. Yet I was a teen and I didn't. It was only then that the pieces feel into place.

In a way, it was the same as when I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. My therapist telling me that I have SAD (GAD now) didn't give me a mental disorder. It just gave me an explanation about something that was already happening. Why other people weren't scared into silence when meeting strangers. Why other people didn't have random panic attacks in the middle of class. Why others didn't get so stressed about being late for work that they give themselves 30 minutes to do a 10-minute commute.

Why does all that happen to you? Because you have generalized anxiety. Why you've never wanted a boyfriend? Why you get uncomfortable during movie sex scenes? Why it's never occurred to you that other high schoolers are horny? Because you're aroace. That's just how the dice fell, that's just how it be sometimes.

So, what would be the point in trying to change it? People can come up with X and Y reasons why I have to, and I have a counterpoint to all of them. But none of them matter in the face of one thing:

As I am now, I am happy and content with my sexuality. It's my life to live, and I'm happy to live it as an ace of spades.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #ace of spades #lgbtq #pride #pride month