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#but people need to acknowledge that he is a high compassion character as well
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The Fandom to Isagi after ch 260:
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Ramble in the tags
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maddybookopinions · 1 year
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Flowers of Algernon
I revisited this classic from my childhood and was pleasantly surprised at how beautifully written this book was. I remembered liking this book as a child but could not remember anything outside of the basic premise of this book.
This book is particularly unique because we literally watch as Charlie changes throughout the book with how he writes and communicates. The languages he uses shifts throughout his mental ability and we can see what point of his life he resides in.
whilst reading this I was subjected to an influx of emotions, both positive and negative as I read what our main character experienced throughout his life as a special needs citizen. I experienced a looming sadness throughout the duration of the entire book thinking about how Charlie Gordon was a victim of ableism with both his low and high iq's.
Although the intelligence level of Charlie skyrocketed and we witness as he becomes a genius, we are also carried along his journey as he tries to grow emotionally. And despite his rapid growth, we see him move from one end of the spectrum to the other.
This book emphasizes the beauty of humanity that lies in companionship, compassion, and understanding for one another. Charlie was forced to acknowledge his relationship with others up the point of his changing and came to learn to accept and respect them. We see his perspective on knowledge change altogether.
Charlie's conscious and subconscious conflicts with each other and we see as Charlie experience's a number of identity crisis's and moral dilemmas. We see Charlie come to embrace his past self as well as the others around him who are like him while simutaneously being the same thing to others that people were to him.
Additionally, I appreciate how we arent forced to "like" our main character. Charlie morphs from his kind self to a pompous, unlikeable individual and this is the epitome of good writing in regards to a main character. Charlie's real and we see him change and grow realistically
We see how Charlie speeds past his idols and his fall from grace as he mentally declines. One quote that stands out to me the most was "I passed your floor on the way up, and now I'm passing it on the way down, and I don't think I'll be taking this elevator again.". As if it wasn't enough to see Charlie struggle with his loneliness as an intellect, we are forced to watch the literary parallels as he returns to his former self.
This book is an absolute tearjerker and the last line of the book was one of the best last lines I've read in a while, which can be the most awkward and disappointing part of a book.
The line reads "P.S please if you get a chanse put some flowers on Algernons grave in the bak yard". and it symbolizes the death of him as a genius as well as his attachment to his life and it's just such a sad ending.
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martyrbat · 2 years
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how would you change tim's character to make him ""better""
(in reference to this post (i think?))
ooh! this is a very interesting thing to ask and deserves an answer for when i can actually think on it more thoroughly but for now:
firstly, for the record, i fully agree with this post about how steph should been the third robin
but okay. i think a key element to any post!jason robin is actually exploring Bruce's grief and how its effecting him. i understand its a comic so they have to keep the action flowing instead of indulging entirely in the vast and deep topic of grief (unfortunately) but i think by actually acknowledging jasons death they can shape the narrative and have it be high stakes and a continuing arc!
bruce couldn't save his own son - how is he trusted to save someone else's? how is he going to save a city and stop evil when he couldn't for the person that mattered most? how he's once again fighting in hopes to prevent someone else from experiencing the same loss but it doesnt take away his pain.
especially with bruces complex to save everyone. anyone dies or has a tragedy occur to them and bruce blames himself every single time. he believes should of (and could of) done something - even if it was impossible. so tie that with how hes supposed to always be prepared, always save the day, always be that dark knight and hero? but failing to the extent that his own child is dead? how jason died hoping bruce would burst in there and save him and then died as a hero when he should of been living as a boy? him being responsible by introducing jason to thie vigilant lifestyle and how his memory lives on in everything bruce does.
show me that guilt! that insecurity and how he still loves jason!! this man hung onto the death of his parents this obsessively, itll be even worse for his child! i literally cannot stress this element enough, he needs to grieve. its gonna be messy and complex and difficult. he's never going to stop grieving to an extent, you never do.
NOW. onto tim (unfortunately). each robin has been a reflection of Bruce's characteristics and sides to its most extreme. if it has to be tim, personally ill go more for tim being more like bruce's detached side. countless nights staring at a screen or paperwork, not knowing social cues as well, having a tendency to isolate when overwhelmed or to avoid reality, paranoid. i think of this panel immediately:
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[ID: Alfred scolding Tim after he punched Damian for falsely believing he was attacking Alfred. Alfred says, "He was stopping me from falling. The poor lad is afraid. He needs comfort... Not a fist in the face. It's all very well being blessed with fierce intelligence. But that doesn't mean a thing if it's not tempered by compassion, Timothy. Mr. Wayne knows that." END ID]
not careless, not heartless - to be a robin, you have to care and want to help people. but how you help and style is very different. his compassion being linked to 'the greater picture' vs jason who was so much for the actual people and individuals and "small details' that often get forgotten about in said general picture. jason focused on the brush strokes that were the people of gotham while tim would go for gotham as a whole. what would be the best long term effective? what would it take to reach it?
i think by making tim more logic based in his compassion and is a good way to challenge bruce in a way that all the robins have before. its how that dynamic works, there has to be chemistry and that balance.
let him see this kid as a reflection of why he cant deprive himself from his heart despite how much it hurts seeing another little boy running around in a yellow cape when it should be his little boy still. that it hurts because he had someone to hurt over. have bruce mourning and grieving and impacted by jason's death (canonly he was rougher as batman because of it/emotionally withdrawn more) while also scared shitless that this kid is going to be next and he'll be making another father go through the same lost hes going through
it also allows tim more room for character development and to have a distinct factor instead of his cherry picked perfect traits and 'flaws' from the others before him. its still robin but hes so different from jason and as a result bruce has to actually confront his feelings and how jason taught/reminded him that he cant forget the people while waiting around and planning for the perfect big picture. that without the people, who cares if the city is saved? it acknowledges jasons life and death and honours jason beyond a perserved costume:
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[ID: Robin telling Jason he's gotten too emotionally involved with a case due to not picking up on obvious signs of their convict, Felipe, being on cocaine. The next panel is Batman and Robin on a stakeout. Batman's internal narration reads, "Over the next three days we have a dozen opportunities to bust Felipe holding. But we hold off. I want to take out a part of the Senior Garzonas' operation when Felipe takes his fall. Robin doesn't like this idea." Additional note is that because of this, Felipe had time to intimidated the woman he raped into killing herself. END ID]
i know a lot of this is about jason and bruce instead but you cant ignore him or pretend he didnt happen. jason's death is was what gave birth to tim's existence (and capitalism but yknow). its going to impact him and the robin dynamic forever. its going to change bruce forever because he didn't want another robin. he didnt want someone else's kid. he wanted his son who was six feet under
people talk how tim is the robin that chose to be robin and to involve himself instead of the circumstances causing it. go heavier into that. its why he clings to that title and is an asshole to damian - because he thinks without that mantel - hes nothing. have him insecure and obsessive over it. have the obvious distance between him and how bruce was with the robins before him because they were his actual sons. you can love and care about someone but not see them as family. ESPECIALLY with tim's parents - who did love him but were still neglectful and how that'll make him insecure/grow a complex.
have tim having to learn to trust others and how to be vulnerable but still struggle. have him learning to not isolate as much and snapping at others when he does. have the conflict of tim saying its a sacrifice to help the greater good. hell, have him lean more into the mad scientist and invention route even, he did cloned his best fucking friend. i dont care what, just give him SOME personality beyond batman's lapdog and always being so perfectly imperfect that his few 'flaws' are polished and excused.
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smilepal · 2 years
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😨 FEARFUL; 🌺 HIBISCUS; 🌌 MILKY WAY; 🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL; 🪤 MOUSE TRAP;
👑 CROWN
Character asks for @a-pirate 💕💕
😨: When scared, do they go into “flight” or “fight”?
Depends on the situation. If it only impacts him, flight is usually the easier of the two options--it gets him out of danger more quickly, and if he can remove himself from a situation without risk of inury to himself, that'll be the option he prefers. But if it comes to keeping others safe, fight will be his first instinct, especially if it's a threat that can be solely handled by him. Flight is reserved for a fight he knows he's going to lose, and someone else's safety comes above preserving some sort of diginity or moral compass. And then he can regroup and hit the problem from a different angle, or even just come back at it with better backup. Fear isn't something that Hiro likes to acknowledge, even in private--he sees it as something that people take advantage of, especially in Night City, and tries to seem unbothered on the surface, but even he has things that get under his skin.
🌺: Do they have any allergies?
It's not an allergy but he's lactose intolerant. That seldom stops him, and he'd sooner just suffer through his coffee than give up having real milk or cream in it. Same goes for chocolate or any sort of pasty, he sees the inevitable stomachache as worth it. He could probably take meds to make it less unpleasant but he usually forgets, or just doesn't want to spend the money on them.
🌌: What was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?
Hiro was inspired after I watched Bladerunner for the first time. I'd never been much into sci-fi or cyberpunk as a genre, and it was part of what opened my eyes to the world. Hiro started as an OC that was supposed to fit into a fictional world I'd created, and ofc had grand, dramatic plans for. Well, the story never stuck, but Hiro did, and eventually I modified him to fit into Cyberpunk 2077, and his background started to develop to better fit the game.
I knew I wanted a character who felt like a movie protagonist--determined, stubborn, and maybe a little hot-headed. Who perhaps wasn't perfect and made reckless decisions but meant well. Hiro's name was the first thing that was decided--I like mono-syllabic names and Hiro had a nice ring to it/just felt right. I decided on his appearance soon after, and knew I wanted a character with a lot of tattoos, although they started out as more generically sci-fi, and not the Tyger Claws tattoos he has today. His body-shape was also quite different in the beginning, better suited for stealth and sneaking than his current one. But after playing cyberpunk and going the melee route, I figured he'd need to bulk up a little, to better support my playstyle, and his internal cybernetics, and his current iteration was created.
🪤: What will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?
A loved one in danger is enough to lure Hiro into a trap without a second thought, even if something that should make him hesitate, seems off from the start. He's made enough enemies, and it's no question that a great deal of them wouldn't think twice about harming a loved one, or friend to get to him. He won't stop until they're safe and out of harms way, even if that means putting himself at risk to make sure that happens. Hiro's the type to act first, and think later, even if it's not always the wisest approach.
👑: What does your oc want to be remembered as? why?
It's seldom something he thinks about. Hiro's not the type to worry about a legacy. But he's not out for glory, or any sort of recognition. He wants to live comfortably, and spend the time doing things he enjoys, and would like to have the means to do so. Going out in a blaze of glory? Nah--leave that to the others. He's gonna stay alive, even if that means he might never have some high-profile fixer gig. He knows he's not ruthless enough for it--can't imagine being like Wakako or Rogue, and doesn't necessarily want to be them either. Being successful would be surviving, despite Night City's best efforts and finding his own personal happiness.
💌: Do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?
Love letters aren't something he's accustomed to. But they'd be enough to catch him genuinely off-guard. He's no stranger to flirting, or sleeping around, but emotions, and declarations of love aren't his strength. It's not to say they aren't appreciated, or cherished but they make him panic a little, and he doesn't quite know what to do about them. That being said, he's not opposed to leaving little notes for a partner, and is better at doing that then saying something out loud. His handwriting is pretty messy, so he'll leave little notes of chicken scratch, if he's nervous about saying something out loud, whether it's hoping that they have a good day, or letting them know there's a coffee and something sweet waiting for them when they get home.
🙊: What is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?
(sticking this one under a spoiler, just in case.)
Hiro spent the better part of his years with the Claws as a joytoy, and it's something he can't help but speak out about. There's this view of them as disposable and it's one of the things that gets him so angry, just how many people are ignored, or the false sympathy--people who pretend to eschew the whole endevour, and then hire them on the side, or behind closed doors. The double standard has never been something he's looked kindly at. So any sort of badmouthing is a really quick way to get on his bad side, and he's not the type to keep silent on the mattter. He spent long enough as part of a statistic, or an invisible population, and he's not one to shy away from discussing that, or calling someone else's behavior out.
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unfoundhoney · 3 years
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a sister’s sacrifice ; part three ↠
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↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst just angst
↠ masterlist
↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;
↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat @bestioe @junoblad3 @machiebach @ok-honey
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when considering the deaths of the people on the dream smp server, yours is the hardest
schlatt was detested by all when he’d died
few people still truly cared for wilbur when he met his end; the man he once was was long gone by then
but you
you never changed
you were a constant for so many & immovably kind to the rest
selfless, giving, caring
even when you just wanted an escape, you came to the aid of your brothers
you gave the ultimate sacrifice & paid the price
everyone mourns you
when the battle is won & dream locked away indefinitely
once everyone has come down from the high of freeing themselves from dream’s reign, the server goes into a state of grieving
there’s no denying your death
they all saw the message in chat
you’re dead
those that were close to you took it hard
niki was narrowly stopped from burning down the bakery you encouraged her to open and helped build
eret put her emotions into work on a memorial in their museum for you
even under the egg’s control, bad & ant put the eggpire aside for you
of course, those who took it the hardest is your family
when ghostbur learns of your death, he’s distraught
he doesn’t quite know how to handle the information
he protects your home & only allows people to enter when he supervises them
tommy took a while to move past his anger & deal with the fact that you’re gone
tubbo ran off to start snowchester
he chose to distract himself rather than truly process his emotions, even if you’d always done your best to break that habit of his
now that you’re not around, who’s to stop him from letting himself be numb to it all?
techno is another one of your family members who chose to barely acknowledge your passing
he became somehow more monotonous & emotionless
and phil
...
there’s no word for a parent who loses a child
wilbur was gone & of course it messed phil up to be the one to take will’s last life but by that point his son was gone
but you
you’d always been such a genuinely good person
phil did so little for you as a father
he was so absent
he never apologized to you for that
he never told you how much he loves & appreciates you & everything you’ve done to keep their family together when he couldn’t be bothered
it’s a few hours after he received the news from ranboo that all the guilt for everything he had ever put you through hit him
he broke down in his kitchen while trying to distract himself by organizing his cupboards
but all he could think about was you
you & your never ending kindness & compassion
he was never a father to you
yet you never hated him
why couldn’t you have hated him?
it would hurt less to lose you if you hated him; it’s what he deserves
he’s unworthy of your love
but he can only dwell so long on you
you are given a proper funeral
you’re buried by the seashore, somewhere between l’manberg and tommy’s abandoned vacation homes in an open field
the sever members plant so many flowers, your gravesite becomes a flower field
but soon, life goes on
it will only hurt for longer to draw out the mourning period
it would do no good for anyone
besides, you wouldn’t want the server to be sad for your sake
techno supposes it’s for the best that you died
he does his best to move on, filling his days with resource gathering and upgrading his tools, weapons, and armor while trying to think through his emotions logically
as much as he liked you
as much as everyone liked you, you were too good
you were the best of them
fate is not kind to heroes
“hello!”
technoblade is not an easy man to sneak up on, let alone scare
the greeting itself isn’t want startles him
it’s turning toward the voice to lock eyes with you
you who is dead
techno is not proud of the sound he made when he saw you but you of all people wouldn’t make fun of him for it
he just stares at you, slowly realizing what’s happened
you look desaturated, the color drained from your clothes
your skin is grey & almost translucent
you’re a ghost
“y/n.”
“hello! who are you?”
techno tells no on one of your ghost form
he even keeps the rest of the server a secret from you
he leads you to your old home & leaves you there w/ ghostbur
he hopes your and ghostbur’s combined amnesia will keep you out of harm’s way i.e. the rest of the server
he visits you occasionally but mostly leaves you be
you live happily with ghostbur for a while
he is very glad to have you back
his memory is nearly as bad as yours, so the story of the server & what happened to you when you were alive is only given to you in bits & pieces that are near impossible to fit together
it was only a matter of time before someone came to visit your house
“...y/n?”
it’s tubbo who finds you first
or he finds your ghost
(tubbo) y/n! oh my god! you’re a ghost! you’ve come back!
(you) hello! *whispers* ghostbur, who is this?
(ghostbur, whispering obviously) that’s tubbo, one of your other brothers i’ve told you about
(you, whispering) oh, right
(tubbo) how long have you- oh, this is incredible! i have to tell tommy! he’s been so sad since you died; he’ll be so glad to see you!
tubbo messages tommy, who is skeptical but reluctantly comes to your house anyway
but there you are
your ghost anyway
which is good enough, honestly
(tommy) y/n!
you catch him in a hug easily, even if you’ve never met him before
(tommy) you’re alive!
(you) no i’m not. i’m a ghost!
techno happens to check in on you when tubbo & tommy are there
bad news for technoblade: you’d told them about techno leading you here
meaning: tommy knows techno hid you from him & everyone else
needless to say, he is not too happy about that
(tommy) you hid her! you kept her away from us!
(techno) tommy, you have to understand-
(tommy) i don’t have to understand shit! you hid her from us! you lied to us!
(techno) tommy-
(tommy) you kept her from everyone! you’re selfish and you’re a liar and you’re horrible and-
(techno) i did it to protect her! she’s been hurt enough protecting others; it’s our turn to protect her. the only way we can do that is by leaving her alone
(tommy) she’s my sister
(techno) your sister is dead, tommy. for once in her life, let her have peace
tommy gives up on techno & goes to you instead
(tommy) y/n! y/n, we can bring you back. we can revive you. well, dream can revive you but he’s in prison so he has to do what we say so we can bring you back. we can be a family again. don’t you want to come back?
(you) ...no
that
...
that isn’t what tommy was expecting
(tommy) what?
(you) if alive y/n comes back, i won’t exist anymore. and i’ve only just got here. i don’t want to go yet
(tommy) don’t you understand how much y/n means to me? y/n has to come back. she has to. she’s so important. not just to me but to, um... tubbo as well! right, tubbo? don’t you want y/n back?
tommy looks to tubbo for some backup but the shorter boy looks away
(tubbo) i think we need to let y/n go, tommy
the betrayal that fills tommy’s chest is soon gone as he locks eyes with techno
tommy knows techno is right
you’re too much of a good person
you’re too willing to sacrifice yourself for others
even as a ghost your kindness is blinding
this server will only drain you of everything you have yet again
he will drain you of everything you are
he’s just tried to convince you to cease to exist to bring back the former version of yourself
(you) i’m sorry. it’s just- i’ve heard there are these really pretty blue flowers in the swamp biome that i haven’t got to see yet-
(tommy) no. it’s fine. i’m sorry. i-... i should go.
tommy leaves your house & tubbo goes with him
even if tubbo caught on a bit sooner to techno’s reasoning, he’s still concerned at his friend’s sudden change in character
(tubbo) tommy... are you alright?
(tommy) ...i really want her back
(tubbo) i do, too. but she’s gone
(tommy) she doesn’t have to be
tubbo can’t argue with that
(tommy) but... maybe it’s for the best
(tubbo) really?
(tommy) yeah.
(tubbo) but just earlier you were telling me about your plan to get the revive book from dream
(tommy) techno’s right, tubbo. all everyone- myself included- has ever done to y/n is take. and she’s given everything
(tubbo) because she loved us
(tommy) as much as she loved us and as much as we loved her... the only thing we’ve ever brought her is pain. i think now... now is her time to rest.
(tubbo) ...that’s very pog champ of you, big man
tommy had planned to visit dream as many times as it took to get the revive book location off of him so he could revive you, but now he’s accepted that he needs to move on
he needs to move on from you & dream & everything dream has put him through
he decides to pay one last visit to dream, put him behind him, & never look back
he’s ready to start a new chapter in his life, one without dream
and the first one without you
but then he’s locked in the prison
two weeks pass
nearing three weeks & tommy still isn’t allowed out of dream’s cell
he’s irritated and annoyed and most of all he’s scared
but he can’t let dream know he’s still afraid of him, that’s why he pisses dream off enough to the point of being beat to death
tommy begs him to stop
but then he’s gone
everything is dark
black
empty
nothing
is this what death is?
conscious in absolute nothingness?
tommy’s feet feel the ground beneath him
his senses come back to him
it’s still dark but he feels as though he can see again
where is he?
heaven?
no, probably hell
or maybe neither?
both...?
what the hell happened?
the first thing to break the silence is the voice tommy has known since he was an infant
the voice of the person who raised him
the voice of the person who has always been there for him
the voice of the person who he has finally let go of
your voice
saying one simple word
“tommy?”
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nobodyfamousposts · 2 years
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About the adrien and empathy thing, I think the worst part js that you don't even need empathy to be a compassionate person. Plenty of low or no empathy people are also very kind because they're fully capable of sympathy and compassion. (I've also know very high empathy people who are absolutely the worst and don't care how they hurt others) He's just not great because he doesn't feel like putting in any effort to care about others beyond how useful it is to him regardless of how much or little empathy he has. If the writers were good at writing, they could have used him as a good example of how to be kind and compassionate to others even if you can't be empathetic to them.
That's very true. I've known people who struggle with empathy still ultimately be more empathetic by value of their efforts and willingness to listen. And it's okay for characters to not necessarily be empathetic or understanding of others' feelings, though it depends on how it's done.
Sometimes for a character who lacks empathy, an aspect of character growth for them could be how they learn about it. Or rather, developing their own way of going about it. Adrien COULD fit this, especially with his lack of social interaction as a barrier. The problem is that he's one of if not the main "moral mouthpiece" of the series, so the narrative fails to paint these issues as actual flaws to address. In the hands of competent writers, I'm sure it could be done. It even has been done.
If you think about it, a good example of this being done well in a character was with Joy from Inside Out. This is particularly noteworthy in the scene where she attempts to comfort Bing Bong less by actually listening and trying to comforting him and more by just...trying to make him not sad. She acts positive and silly and tries to make him laugh, but is completely tone deaf to the situation at hand and not seeing that it is not the time or place for any of it. And her ways don't actually address the true problem, serving as distraction at best. In this understandable albeit unhealthy idea she has that people need to just be not sad for things to be okay, she focused on pushing for him to not be sad on her terms and for her needs rather than letting him work through his emotions or helping him to do so that was actually beneficial for him. This comparison was highlighted with Sadness just...being with him and listening to him.
Joy's intentions are good, but ultimately, she isn't empathetic. It's something she learned about by the end of the movie, and speaks a lot to her growth by the end.
Adrien could be the same. He would be better written and even more well rounded if he was. It'd make sense if he was actually ignorant due to his lack of social interaction and lack of friends. There could have been episodes where he learns about what actual friends are. How to treat his friends. How to stand up for his friends.
We could have had an episode of him trying to "prove" his friendship to Nino and others in the class by buying them expensive things because his only friend for years has been Chloe and that's been her idea of affection and love. It could also serve as an episode where Marinette gets to know him a step at a time so she's not falling face-first into obsessive crush with no real reason behind it.
Despair Bear or Zombizou or Malediktator could have gone in a different direction where one or more of his friends finally have enough of Chloe's bullying and Adrien is actually SHOWN to be stuck in the middle and needing to figure out where he stands instead of just lecturing from the sidelines where he's not the one affected.
Syren would have been substantially improved and avoid the Adrien salt that part of the fandom is throwing at him had he acknowledged at any point that while it sucks that Ladybug knows things he's being left out of, there are more important problems than just his feelings in the moment. And that's the big thing...I don't think you need to necessarily be empathetic to be able to figure that a time when the city is flooded and people are drowning is not the time for someone who sees himself as a hero to be acting selfishly.
There are so many instances where it could have been improved had things been portrayed slightly differently and Adrien be allowed to learn a lesson. He could improve on his social skills, learn about interacting with people and developing lasting relationships, and yes, build empathy and show himself to BE the compassionate person canon seems convinced he is.
It'd be more of a character arc than canon is giving him.
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 324: Is There a Force Field Around Him??
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal was all “please tell Midoriya that I spent a concerningly small amount of money upgrading U.A. into a wacky physics-defying funtime grid so as to make the final battle much more confusing for everyone.” Present Day!Mic (or Present!Mic, if you will) and Jeanist were all “if only somebody could deescalate this dangerously unhinged mob, we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” Ochako was all “LISTEN UP PEOPLE.” The mob was all, “god??” Ochako was all, “NO, IT’S ME, OCHAKO. I’M REALLY HIGH UP ON THIS BUILDING AND THE VISIBILITY IS LOW DUE TO THE RAIN, SO I CAN SEE HOW YOU MIGHT MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ANYWAYS, DEKU WAS OUT THERE RISKING HIS LIFE FOR YOU CLOWNS EVEN THOUGH HE’S JUST A KID, SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD ALL REMEMBER HOW TO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, THANKS.” Let’s see if her Big Scolding Energy has any impact.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so I have this speech planned out, and it’s really good, but it also only really needs about 6 to 8 pages, but I’m gonna see if I can stretch it out to 17 pages so I can kill time before we get to the next volume cliffhanger two weeks from now.” Anyway but it really is a good speech though. There are feels, and tears, and more talk about how Deku is so in need of a shower that just looking at him requires a tetanus booster, and more feels, and more tears, and bonus ship drama, and an iconic callback to the very first chapter which reframes the entire series in a new context in a totally epic and moving way, and it’s all very good. Except that Horikoshi is determined to never let anyone actually give this kid a hug. Who hurt you, dude.
omg we are opening on a callback to chapter 212, a.k.a. the chapter with by far the cutest flashback that doesn’t involve any baby Todorokis
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baby Ochako is lethally cute. she could literally murder someone with her cuteness. I just want to scoop her up and play airplane with her until she accidentally activates her quirk while we’re spinning around and we both helicopter up into the air never to be seen again
“a child’s insistence” huh well that’s all well and good, but I sure hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to drag out the whole “sternly lecture the obnoxious citizens” plot for another whole chapter. no offense but I think we’re good
so page 2 is just continuing the whole happy/worried faces monologue, which of course is very important to Ochako’s character as it provides the context for why “who protects the heroes” ended up becoming her thing. and this is making me think we actually are in for a whole second chapter of this sob. when will my boy finally get to rest
OH MY GOD SUDDENLY THESE PEOPLE HAVE EYES IMAGINE THAT
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HORIKOSHI: [reaches for a box of tissues while tearfully penning an homage to his beloved Spider-Man 2, specifically the train scene where the crowd sees Peter without his mask and they suddenly realize just how young he is]
HORIKOSHI’S HOMAGE SCENE: “COME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN FOR US TO PICK ON THIS TEN YEAR OLD KID WHO WEIGHS 75 POUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE HE LOST A FIGHT WITH SATAN’S MOLDY OLD BASEMENT”
lol at this one guy who can feel the mood of the crowd shifting and is all “WAIT, NO, I WANTED TO KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE DAMMIT”
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as many pointed out last week, this man is wearing an All Might shirt. that’s some fantastic irony there
-- SDKFJWIGKS
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“LITTLE GIRL, I HOPE YOU’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WALKING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A SOVIET-ERA BUS STOP.” heh. last week I said I was ashamed of BnHA being my favorite manga. that was a lie, actually
(ETA: in the original Japanese Ochako’s next two lines are basically “the only ones covered in mud will be us heroes!” followed by “please give us some time to get rid of the mud”, with that second line basically being the single funniest thing I’ve ever read rdslkjl. Ochako thank you so much for supporting my running gags. “YEAH WE KNOW HE’S DIRTY. WE ARE GONNA TRY AND CLEAN HIM UP, BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, I’M JUST SAYING. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASBESTOS COSPLAY.”)
doesn’t the megaphone kind of look ever so slightly like an axe that she’s wielding maniacally here
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easy there Lizzie Borden
also that’s a really bold claim to make there. and not one she necessarily should have to make, either. but as we all know, there’s nothing that shounen manga likes more than having its heroes bravely hoist heavy burdens of responsibility like good self-sacrificing citizens
p.s. lowkey loving how Kacchan is positioned here standing slightly behind Deku. not presuming to stand in front of him all overprotectively (because he would hate if anyone ever did that to him), and kind of being unobtrusive and letting others take center stage -- but still being close enough to Deku that he can catch him if he stumbles or passes out again
(ETA: or maybe not lmao.
DEKU: [falls to his knees]
KACCHAN: [glancing up from his phone a few minutes later] “someone just sent me the stupidest meme about milk crates -- oh. uh. you good...?”
really, son. “the burdens you can’t carry, we’ll carry them for you. ...later, I mean. right now it’s late, and we’re all cold and wet.”)
also lowkey loving this OchaTsu moment here
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I was going back and binging Ochako chapters this past week for reasons, and I gotta say it really stuck out to me just how often these two are paired with each other. they do everything together. it’s a really sweet friendship that often goes unappreciated but it’s very cute
meanwhile, not to be outdone by the OchaTsu, Iida is staring at Ochako with open admiration talking about how she’s fighting too. it’s been so long since we’ve had any IidaRaka you guys. I was starving and I didn’t even know it
oh my lord IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING
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THE LIGHT IS BACK. he finally looks like him again. what a cathartic fucking moment omg
ffklkdw
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“I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SCARED, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE DEFINITELY CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY AND WE ARE ALL SCARED TOO!” good pep talk there kiddo
BUT, jokes aside, truth be told this is the exact right approach to take imo, and something that’s long overdue. I’ve said this before, but this new generation of heroes is shaping up to be much more transparent than the All Might generation. they’re basically abandoning the almighty, untouchable Superman “heroes as gods” concept in favor of the more nuanced “heroes as people” concept instead. and that’s a good thing. seeing their heroes as humans, with human limitations and weaknesses and flaws, will hopefully not only lead to more scrutiny and accountability, but also more awareness of how hard some of them are working and how much they’re sacrificing. that’s something All Might never quite grasped back at the start of the series -- that the weak, vulnerable, injured him could be just as inspiring as the mighty, invincible him -- perhaps even more so. there’s a power in seeing otherwise ordinary people show extraordinary bravery and compassion. it inspires others to try and do the same
SSDLHK AIZAWA SIGHTING AAHHHHHH
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so he was still back at the hospital this whole time?? smdh at this disrespect. that feeling when your sexy self-insert character’s powers of rationality are too strong, and so you have to nerf him so that he doesn’t ruin your Deku Angst arc twice over by (1) immediately talking some sense into Deku and making him come home Right This Instant Young Man, and (2) not allowing him to leave U.A. in the first fucking place. excuse me, you want to do WHAT now, Midoriya?? that’s it, go to your room
also living for Katsuki and Hawks’s soft expressions. Shouto’s too, although his is tinier and harder to see. and Jeanist’s 12-foot-long neck. imagine Jeanist’s head with Mic’s hair. maybe Jeanist had a mohawk back in the day and that’s why U.A.’s doors are so big now
speaking of soft faces, Enji’s is also excellent
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what could this random close-up possibly imply?? hell if I know. but Horikoshi truly fears no discourse and that’s what I love about him
OMGGGG
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“smh my child is so dumb.” poor Ochadad. your child is cute af count your blessings
SDOFFHSMH
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I’m telling you guys. lethally, catastrophically cute
this speech is still ongoing lol. Horikoshi you’re doing so good but I think we get the point now my dude. you gotta learn how to transition out of these things
UNEXPECTED TOGA WHAT
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“there we go” Horikoshi says, crossing off the last line on his list of Ochako ships. “that’s all of ‘em”
poor Ochako is just repeating the same “LET HIM REST, PLEASE, WITH EVERYONE’S COOPERATION, IF YOU DON’T MIND, WE APPRECIATE IT” talking points over and over again hoping someone will throw her a bone and acknowledge her already. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER
literally they’re all just staring up at her silently omg. work with me people!!
now she’s saying it for the 56th time but more dramatically all of a sudden
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they got so dramatic that for a minute I thought she had suddenly leaped off the building or something
look, not to rush you or anything Horikoshi, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is yet another one of those “the volume is ending soon so I need to either hurry things up or slow things down in order to make sure we end it on my perfect cliffhanger ending” chapters where you go to ridiculous lengths to drag things out much to the exasperation of your week-to-week readers
(ETA: ftr, volume 31 ended on chapter 306, and I’m predicting that vol. 32 will end with chapter 316 (a.k.a. “you’re next!” [explodes]). I’m guessing vol. 33 will follow suit and likely end on chapter 326, so keep your eyes peeled for a big cliffhanger in two weeks’ time. Deku’s dad?? All Might in peril?? U.A. traitor at long fucking last?? we shall see.)
is Deku straight up falling in love with Ochako right on the spot lol what is happening
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I know I just said that I enjoy when Horikoshi gives zero fucks about discourse, but shipping discourse is a whole different beast lol. I hope he’s prepared
(ETA: and for the record, I have no interest in shipping discourse either, as always. and I think this scene can be interpreted as platonic, tbh, with the context being that Ochako was literally introduced as someone who was willing to help him so casually without a second thought, and now here she is saving him again.
I don’t think it really fully hit Deku until this moment how much he needed saving. like I said in another meta somewhere, selflessness is basically just selfishness on behalf of others. and Deku is selfless to a fault, but that’s okay, and it doesn’t mean he needs to change -- he just needs friends who are willing to be be selfish on his behalf in turn. and I think the full emotion of what it means to have friends like that just hit him at last. everything his friends have done for him, how much he needed it and didn’t even realize, and how grateful he is. anyways what a terrible day for rain.)
-- son of a --
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is he apologizing?? or pleading?? please tell me that’s not the case, because what the actual fuck. Deku you beautiful precious radiant selfless child, this is the exact opposite of how this should be. all these motherfuckers should be on their knees apologizing to you
DEKU WHY
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I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS FREAKING BOMBARDMENT OF EMOTIONS GODDAMIT. OUT HERE ARMED WITH YOUR FREAKING TREBUCHET OF FEELS TO LAUNCH AT ME UNPROVOKED. WHAT’S WITH THAT
FREAKING CHRIST. THIS BOY IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND HORIKOSHI IS JUST ZOOMING IN WITH THE CAMERA, LIKE CAN WE JUST CUT HIM A BREAK ALREADY. ENOUGH OF THIS. HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE TRIES SO HARD AND I JUST NEED HIM TO FEEL SAFE, HORIKOSHI PLEASE CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT ALREADY WHAT IS THE FREAKING HOLD UP!!
GIGANTIC FOX LADY!!!
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GIGANTIC FOX LADY PLEASE BE MY HUGGER BY PROXY!! SERIOUSLY GIRL IF YOU JUST HOLD YOUR UMBRELLA OVER HIM OR SOMETHING AND DON’T GO THE EXTRA MILE I’M ABOUT TO LODGE AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW
!!!!
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A KOUTA IS GOOD TOO!!! oh my god if Kouta hugs him I will seriously 100% straight up cry. go on and test me
FOR THE LOVE OF --
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is this man expressly forbidden from drawing hugs in his contract or something. DO YOU DO IT JUST TO SPITE ME?? this is tyranny, sir
AND I KNOW, THIS PAGE ACTUALLY CHALLENGED THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SERIES ITSELF, AND HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT HUGS, OR THE LACK THEREOF. “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes.” and just like that, he waves a polite middle finger at all of the Strongest Greatest Chosen One shounen protags of old, in favor of something much less conventional, much more interesting, and much more suited to Deku’s character. because if that one sentence doesn’t just sum up Deku to a T. he gladly relinquishes his Greatest Hero status in favor of acknowledging the hero in everyone. what a class act. that’s my protagonist
I love this kid so fucking much I swear. only just PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. GIVE HIM HIS HUG
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januarymoreau · 3 years
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alright so I know literally no one cares about this but it’s my social media I’m doing what I want /lh
I’ve been seeing a lot of slander about justin russo on the internet lately and I’m currently hyperfixated on wizards of waverly place so here’s why justin is an awesome character/doesn’t deserve the hate he gets
He’s kind and treats those he loves well. Justin is canonically really good at comforting people. Although he argues with Alex a lot, at the end of the day, he’s also her older brother and genuinely cares about her. When Professor Crumbs threatens to take Alex’s magic away because she doesn’t turn her report card in, Justin says that Crumbs will also have to take his magic away. Justin is ultimately selfless. We see again and again the sacrifices he makes for Alex and I think we mainly see his kindness in that relationship. Despite that, I think he’s also notably kind to Juliet. When he finds out that he made the mistake of reporting Juliet and her parents, he instantly tries to fix it. Not only does he try to fix it, but he puts his job as Monster Hunter in jeopardy for Juliet and her parents - her parents haven’t even been that nice to him. Justin is ultimately selfless and at the end of the day, he sacrifices himself or what he wants for others. When Rosie turns back into a good angel, instead of selfishly continuing to date her and keeping her in the mortal world (which he could have done - she literally offers to stay with him), he gives her up because he realizes the world needs a guardian angel more than he needs a girlfriend. Even though it hurts because he loved her, he gives her up. There’s no “award” for doing this - he won’t move up a level in the wizard competition, he really won’t get any recognition for giving Rosie up. He doesn’t even get any recognition for turning the moral compass back to good. He does it because it’s the right thing to do. Although later I’ll argue that Justin is constantly seeking validation, I also think that the heroic/good things he does are often done with no expectation of being praised for it. He does them because he has a strong sense of morals. He’s also kind to Harper, Zeke, his parents, and even Max, who people rarely ever show kindness to in the show.
He’s in touch with his emotions. When the show starts, Justin is very against anything that will show him as feminine or emotional. In fact, he even says he’s allergic to emotions (or something like that) to cover for the fact that he’s crying over his missing dog. As the show goes on, we see Justin start to embrace and accept his emotions more and to lose touch with his toxic masculinity. I think dating Juliet changed him in a lot of ways (making him more relaxed, etc), and I think one was encouraging him to be more emotional. After Wizards vs. Vampires, Justin is pretty emotional and open about his emotions in the show. He’s even open with talking about them. In the movie, he opens up to Alex about how he feels like Jerry & Theresa wouldn’t love him as much if he were less “perfect,” which brings me to my next point.
At the end of the day, Justin is a sad character. I know it’s a kid’s show but they really do cover a lot of issues so bear w me. I’m hyperfixated and I like to over analyze shows so I’ve thought about this a lot. Justin is the oldest, which means he already deals with pressure to be perfect. Then, add in the fact that his parents are constantly describing him as the “perfect child” and putting him on a pedestal, while pitting the kids against each other as a result of the wizard culture bc of the family competition (I love Jerry & Theresa but they’re not perfect). He’s also a high achiever and we know he puts extreme pressure on himself to do well - they always make a joke about it but it’s actually quite sad. He literally feels poorly about himself when he gets a B and bases his entire self worth on his grades and skills as a wizard. In fact, in the movie he voices doubt about whether or not he’s good at anything other than magic. I have a few things I want to say about all of this. First of all, I think Justin is constantly seeking validation. I think as the oldest and “best” child, he feels the need to be perfect all the time, but he also does many of the things he does because he just wants validation. When Harper decides to run a marathon, Justin does too, and sadly his accomplishment of finishing it is overshadowed by Harper “winning.” I also think Justin feels threatened by the success of others because he thinks it invalidates his. When he opens up to Alex in the movie, he says that he’s jealous of her because it seems like everything comes naturally to her. Justin feels as if his parents loving his siblings takes away from their love from his. It’s irrational, but very real. Which brings me to my next point - Justin has generalized anxiety disorder. It makes sense - the overthinking, the outbursts he has (Alex refers to it as a conniption once) of panic or frustration, the overachieving, etc. As someone who probably has autism, I also think he’s autistic (which would explain his troubles with tone, struggle making friends, obsessions with things like Captain Jim Bob Sherwood and science, being better w robots than people, and so much more).
Ultimately, Justin has a strong moral backbone. Although he’s a stickler for the rules and this oftentimes leads him to do bad things initially, he always does the right thing in the end. For example, when Justin and Alex go to court and Justin duplicates himself to be his lawyer, his lawyer ultimately proves that Justin is guilty; he even says something along the lines of “We’re Justin Russo. We always do what’s moral and just.” Justin has a strong sense of justice (which could also be from being autistic but I could do a whole other post about neurodivergency coding in WOWP and Disney & Nick shows overall bc there’s a ton of coding) and does what he thinks is right, most of the time. Sure, sometimes he does bad things, but he’s also a teenager at the end of the day and he’s highly competitive.
Finally, Justin Russo is super progressive - in fact, he’s probably the most progressive characters of the show. He acknowledges climate change and actively tries to create a solution for it. In fact, for his science fair project he makes a water powered engine, which would reduce carbon emissions. He also wears a shirt at one point that says “Make art not war.” I will admit that his biases against the werewolf he dated were problematic, but he clearly grew from that because he never held any of that against Mason. He’s also into science and is a nerd and although this is a stereotype, most young people who are into science and are nerds are progressive. I’m pretty sure he also is well aware of current events and would probably read the newspaper. Also I myself headcanon Justin as trans and bi (again could make another post about characters in wowp that are queer)
Little note even tho probably no one will see this - this is all just for fun. If you disagree with anything I said, just say it politely hahsh. Also please don’t make fun of me for this WOWP is a huge hyperfixation and comfort thing for me rn and I just wanted to make a silly little post where I analyze one of my comfort characters. Also I kin Justin so pls don’t like hate on him in the comments.
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tempenensis · 3 years
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Fushiguro Megumi: the protector
One of the things that makes jjk very interesting is how Gege writes the characters in a way that freed them from a number of stereotypes usually found in shonen manga in relation to how their appearance are. And that makes the character in this manga feels more layered. One of the example is our deuteragonist himself, Fushiguro Megumi. 
Fushiguro is one of characters that make you thought of certain stereotype - but as the story progresses and his character is explored more, he is actually different from the stereotype of dark brooding rival of the protagonist his appearance is based of.
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On his first appearance, Fushiguro is shown to be someone serious, seemingly a stickler for rules and formality, as he speaks in honorifics to Gojo in the phone -- even if it’s him saying that he will punch Gojo. When he speaks to Gojo, there’s a strange mix of formality and familiarity, which is a given considering their long history.
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He even cites the law of jujutsu for the reasoning of Itadori’s execution right after Sukuna incarnates even though Itadori eats the finger because he is also trying to save Fushiguro. However once Gojo appears and asks what he should do to Itadori, his answer is right on the opposite direction. 
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And from this point on, we know that he is never ‘just a simple rival’.
1. Not even a rival
Itadori and Fushiguro’s dynamic is one of the focal point that drives the story of jjk, among others.  
but who’s to say that someone you save won’t kill anyone in the future? 
Fushiguro and Itadori share the same fixation on saving people. While Itadori wants to give “proper death”, or save as many people as he can from curses, Fushiguro rather listens to his own conscience, where he want to give good people what they deserve. And this believe of his rooted from the ‘undeserving’ situation he feels is granted to his sister in this life. This different ideals made the two of them clash during Cursed womb arc, but they settles their difference pretty quickly out of respect for each other, and this connects the two of them closer than them to other characters.
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For Fushiguro, Itadori has become someone as important as Tsumiki despite only knowing him for a short time - and likewise, Itadori also thought Fushiguro as important. Fushiguro, in addition, also feels that he bears the responsibility of keeping Itadori alive and shoulders the consequence of every action Itadori and Sukuna does, since Itadori consumed Sukuna to help him in the first place. That is the reason his first fight with Sukuna happens after all; him staying behind out of feeling responsible.
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And this responsibility develop into the necessity to protect Itadori, both from  literal harm (the Kyoto students trying to assassinate him) and from metaphorical one. Likewise, Itadori not telling Fushiguro what Sukuna told him is also to protect Fushiguro from the guilt that will consequently arise. 
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While there is a bit of rivalry, it doesn’t become something that the two of them fixated on. It does feed on their growth, but this rivalry mostly takes a backseat - it will, when he lives in a world where everything, even the authority, is trying to kill his closest friend and someone he is trying hard to protect.  
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2. To die or not to die
Fushiguro’s nature as a protector is rooted in his personality. Because of his upbringing and precociousness, he has his own view of what he think to be ‘good’ and ‘bad' that is very personal to him.
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Fushiguro has certain degree ‘sense of justice’ based on his notion. During this flashback, he picks fight with the delinquents not because they attacks him personally and not because anyone asks him for help, but just because he thought that they are wrong in bullying their classmates. 
At first he is not inclined to be a jujutsushi because saving people doesn’t fit into that notion of his. The work of a jujutsushi is in its heart is to save people and it’s tailored for not only the one who has the ability, but also the compassion to do it. Something that is unthinkable for junior high Fushiguro.
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It’s Tsumiki’s curse that change Fushiguro. He is started to driven to save people like Tsumiki. And also, if there is someone that can solve the case of Tsumiki’s curse, it will be a jujutsushi.  
He feels that a lot of people he thought to be ‘good’ given unfairness in life. Like his sister who was cursed and fallen into coma, and Itadori who ate Sukuna then received death penalty.
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I will save people unequally!
His personal sense of justice drives Megumi to help and save them in his own brand of heroism stemmed from his ego of choosing who’ll he save and who won’t. ‘Good people’ affects Fushiguro deeply that out of respect for Itadori who had died, he does something that usually he doesn’t do. 
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While he sees both his sister and Itadori to be the same good kind, he judges himself to be different from them and he doesn’t care if he is ‘not right’. He doesn’t feel that he deserves the salvation as deserved by ‘good people’ and this reflects mainly in his... um... suicidal, sacrificial tendency. 
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Every single time he is cornered in battle, he used to resort to summoning Makora - which essentially means he will die. He doesn’t think that his death is matter at all for anyone else as long as his purpose in winning the fight is fulfilled - which actually not necessarily true. 
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It’s a good thing that after his training with Gojo, Megumi starts to realize the importance of him not resorting to ‘winning by dying’. This point in Shibuya actually marks a significant development of his character - even if he still summon Makora after.
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3. Blood does not necessarily run thicker  
One of the most surprising aspect of Fushiguro is how he readily discarded the identity that comes with his bloodline. A contrast from Kamo and a point that makes their clash during Goodwill event arc very interesting. For Kamo whose mother left him so she doesn’t get in his way to be the family heir, the way Fushiguro easily deny his bloodline of course offends him highly -- it’s almost like Fushiguro does not care about his mother’s sacrifice. 
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Well, it is understandable that he deny his bloodline. Regardless that the tradition of the Three Great Families just reek of shit, Fushiguro never experiences normal blood-related family bond since he was born. Everyone who should be his family based on blood never give him the bond other people experience. His biological mother had died, his father left him (and died unknowingly), Tsumiki’s mother also left the siblings. The one who took care of him was Tsumiki and Gojo to an extent, both of whom has no blood relation to him. Gojo even bought him from the Zen’in. And the Zen’in who is supposed to be his blood-related family trade him off easily with money, so it is understandable if he does not feel a strong bond with his own bloodline. 
This is ironically (but in a positive way) very contrast with Fushiguro’s   technique; Ten shadows jutsu. One of Zen’in’s most prized inherited technique is manifested by Fushiguro who deny his blood and passed down by his father who the family refused to acknowledge as one of their own. The technique that also made Fushiguro coveted by the head family that they readily forked over 10 million for him. It’s a very ridiculous situation.    
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4. Next ‘strongest sorcerer’
The growth of a jujutsushi is never easy. 
Fushiguro’s growth as a jujutsushi is a difficult matter, way more than Yuuji. Compared to Fushiguro who is already familiar with jujutsu from a very young age, Yuuji is like a child whose growth is still in exponential phase. Since his main weapon is his cursed technique, Fushiguro’s growth as the more settled jujutsushi in this case should mainly come from inside himself. But it’s been a rocky way for him.   
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First, his mindset is working against his growth -- because he has Makora to rely on, he tends to summon it readily than try to explore his technique more. Then as fundamentally Fushiguro is someone compassionate, he puts cooperating and matching his level to people around him first -- which actually hindered his growth of ability, because his nature as jujutsushi is on the opposite side.  
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As a jujutsushi, Fushiguro’s nature is the same as Gojo and Sukuna; a lone wolf who is the strongest on combat when he is alone. Gojo even implied once that Megumi’s cursed technique has the potential to be on par -- even beat his.
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With not one, but two strongest jujutsu users invested in Fushiguro’s growth, I think it’s not an overstatement to say that he will be an incredible jujutsushi in the future -- if his growth does not fail him. And going by the current story development, it is more required out of Megumi to be stronger than ever, both as the person that he is and as jujutsushi.     
5. The future is as uncertain as ever
Now that Gojo is gone, the burden Megumi shoulders will be exponentially rising. More than to stabilize Tokyo back, it is the responsibility that he always feel over of keeping Yuuji as Sukuna’s vessel alive that probably will demand a lot out of Megumi. In addition to losing Gojo and the waking of Tsumiki as one of the Brain’s victims, Megumi needs all the strength he can muster, literally and figuratively, to be able to survive the coming of near future -- even though ironically he is one that is readily dying anytime. 
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aboveallarescuer · 3 years
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#that happens even when the person isnt trying to argue that shes a mad queen/villain but that she has both 'good' and 'evil' in her#and is meant to fail#(e.g. that meta about how dany is a tragic shakespearean hero; which annoys me more bc it sounds convincing when you don't remember what#happened in the books very well...
Can you talk more about your problems with that essay? I thought that it sounded plausible... I don't want those things to happen to Daenerys, but I don't trust GRRM either.
Anon, thank you for this ask and sorry for the delayed answer. I was already planning to write several posts as a response to the arguments of “Daughter of Death: A Song of Ice and Fire’s Shakespearean Tragic Hero” (which you can read here), but I couldn't find the time or motivation for that lately, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to counter-argue it in a single answer. I tried to be brief by summarizing some of my notes and by linking to a lot of metas instead of repeating all of their points, but the response unfortunately ended up becoming long anyway.
In the context of that essay, Dany is considered a Shakespearean tragic hero because the writer thinks she fits five requirements: 1) Dany’s chapters contain supposedly deliberate references to Shakespearean plays; 2) Dany is “torn by an internal struggle”, namely peace versus violence or companionship versus rulership or home versus the Iron Throne, all of which also drive the external conflicts. Choosing the second options will lead to her demise; 3) prophecies and “influential accidents” - that is, events that “have roots in a character’s motivation”, as well as “the sense of ‘if only this had not happened’” - will “heighten and exaggerate [tragic flaws that] already [exist]” in Dany; 4) Dany will (according to the essayist’s speculations) take actions that produce “exceptional calamity” and her demise will be “her own choice and doing”; 5) Dany “[rose] high in position” and is “an exceptional being”, which sets her apart as a character that fits the mold of the Shakespearean tragedy because her reversal of fortune will highlight “the greatness and piteousness of humanity”.
I would argue that the points that the essayist made to justify how Dany supposedly fits these five requirements are all very skewed.
1) When it comes to requirement 1 (Dany’s chapters contain supposedly deliberate references to Shakespearean plays), the essayist is conveniently cherry-picking (as they often do throughout the meta). Bran Stark wants a dreamless sleep just like Dany: “Sweet, dreamless sleep, Bran thought.” (ACOK Bran I); “That night Bran prayed to his father’s gods for dreamless sleep.” (ACOK Bran II). Indeed, @marinabridgerton argues that that’s most likely tied to the fact that they’re the two characters most heavily associated with prophecies. Even Sansa is said to have a dreamless sleep: “Sometimes her sleep was leaden and dreamless, and she woke from it more tired than when she had closed her eyes” (AGOT Sansa VI). And yet, where are the essays about how these quotes are teaching the readership to interpret Bran’s and Sansa’s characters, storylines and trajectories based on Shakespearean tragedies?
2) When it comes to requirement 2 (Dany is “torn by an internal struggle”, namely peace versus violence or companionship versus rulership or home versus the Iron Throne, all of which also drive the external conflicts. Choosing the second options will lead to her demise), the essayist is right to point out that those dilemmas exist. However, they portray Dany’s struggles in a way that makes it seem that 1) there are “good” options (peace/companionship/home) and “bad” options (violence/rulership/Iron Throne) for Dany to take and that 2) choosing the latter ones will lead to Dany’s downfall. There is a lot to question about these assumptions.
2.1) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between peace versus violence, the essayist takes everything that Adam Feldman’s series of essays “Untangling the Meereenese Knot” says for granted when it shouldn’t be. I’m not going to delve into all the problems/inaccuracies/double standards with those essays. For our purposes here, it’s enough to say that they: 1) dichotomize Dany’s identity into mhysa and mother of dragons to argue that the former represents her desire for peace and the latter her violent impulses; 2) assert that the peace was real; 3) conclude that, by rejecting the peace, the Dany of ASOS is gone and from now on she’s going to be a very different person because she will have chosen to follow her violent impulses.
As already argued before, though, 1) Dany’s character can’t be dichotomized in that way because these facets - mhysa and mother of dragons - actually complement each other (as @yendany made clear in her most recent meta). Because Dany was the mother of dragons, she was able to act as mhysa way before she was hailed as such, which we see, for instance, when she kills the Astapori slave masters to free the Unsullied. Both of these identities manifest Dany’s fierceness when faced with great injustices. This is why, in ADWD, locking her dragon children prevented Dany from properly defending her human children… She needs to integrate both parts of her identity to be able to protect them. But Feldman couldn’t recognize that because 2) he accepts the peace deal that Dany made with the slavers as valid. Doing so would mean, however, ignoring the re-enslavement and suffering of thousands of marginalized people, which GRRM continually emphasizes in Dany's and Tyrion’s final ADWD chapters (read more about this here and here) to hammer home that the peace is false for prioritizing the slavers over them. Finally, 3) Dany is not a violent person nor does she have violent impulses. Feldman decontextualized the moments in which Dany uses violence from the standards of her time and place (read more about this here and here and here and here) to portray them in a more negative light than how they are actually meant to be viewed. Additionally, he conveniently left out all the moments in which Dany chooses to be merciful, from when she spares Yunkai and most of the Meereenese slavers (she didn’t do the same in Astapor because she was outnumbered and needed to protect her retinue) to when she doesn’t punish people who threaten or disrespect her to her face (such an envoy who spits at her face, a boy who tries to attack her, Xaro after he says he wishes he’d killed her), to give a few examples (read more about this in @rainhadaenerys's comprehensive meta). I would argue that Dany’s conflict is less about peace versus violence and more accurately about her tendency to be merciful versus her desire for justice (which, especially in the particular context she finds herself in, is unattainable without violence). In fact, I would go further and say that it’s distasteful to characterize Dany as someone “violent” or with “violent impulses” when, so far, she’s only used violence to a) defend and protect victims of (physical and systemic) violence and/or b) in circumstances in which her actions are no more problematic than those of any other leader of her world. And yet, the essayist portrays them as if they were (“To choose indiscriminate destruction over peace tends toward the evil”).
It’s also convenient that the essayist only talks about fire negatively (“Dany wields unmatched power that can “make or unmake at a word”—Dracarys—villages, armies and kingdoms”, “in the words of Maester Aemon, “Fire consumes.””) when it's also connected to life, rebirth, healing and enlightenment. And dracarys in particular is explicitly associated with freedom by the narrative while Dany frees the Unsullied (her decision, in turn, is associated with her future actions in the War for the Dawn). But acknowledging these things would make it harder to portray Dany as a Shakespearean tragic hero.
2.2) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between companionship and rulership … Again, the dilemma exists, but not in the way that the essayist presents it. What I mean is that they go out of their way to make it seem that Dany’s loneliness was the main factor driving her decisions, such as the liberation of the Unsullied (“She feels for the forced loneliness of the Unsullied, and it is loneliness that convinces her to commit violence in the plaza to free the slaves—just as it is in loneliness she chooses violence amidst the Dothraki Sea.”)... And not, y’know, her compassion and sense of justice (“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?”), which are rarely acknowledged in this essay even though it’s arguably the main aspect of Dany's characterization. Why does the essayist do that? Because, since they are arguing that Dany is a tragic hero, they need to present Dany’s loneliness both as the reason why she achieved greatness and as the reason that will lead to her demise when she (supposedly) starts distrusting people, closing herself off and choosing violence (“the moral conviction she feels for her abolitionist crusade is part of the greatness that is also her tragic trait [...] She feels for the forced loneliness of the Unsullied, and it is loneliness that convinces her to commit violence in the plaza to free the slaves—just as it is in loneliness she chooses violence amidst the Dothraki Sea.”). As I said, however, doing so requires downplaying Dany’s compassion, as well as ignoring the fact that she does not close herself off to people in ADWD, nor is there any sign that this was seeded as a serious issue for her in future books (especially considering that her governance is meant to be contrasted with Cersei, the character who actually does close herself off to people. But more on that below when I talk about why Dany doesn’t fit the essayist’s third requirement).
Also, singling out rulership in particular as a reason for Dany to feel alone is conveniently selective (“Returning to Westeros means ruling Westeros - and ruling means loneliness”). All the major characters have reasons to feel lonely and isolated in their society because GRRM chose to focus on the underdogs. Their social standings are already enough to make all of them feel alone. As he said, “Tyrion of course is a dwarf which has its own challenges. Dany is an exile, powerless, penniless, at the mercy of other people, and Jon is a bastard”. You can also throw in Arya for being a young girl struggling to adhere to gender norms and Bran for being a disabled child. And that is just one example… There are a myriad of reasons and situations for various characters to feel lonely and isolated, but the essayist specifically chose to talk about how rulership causes that for Dany. And, considering that the essayist thinks that Dany’s rulership -> growing isolation and loneliness -> her ultimate downfall, it really feels like they’re punishing Dany narratively for acquiring and wielding power. Which leads me to the next point...
2.3) When it comes to Dany’s conflict between home and the Iron Throne, I would argue that that’s not really a conflict. Dany (like any feudal leader) believes she needs to retake the Iron Throne to stay in her homeland just like the Starks believe they need to retake Winterfell to stay in their homeland. Whether Dany finds herself at home in Westeros or not is irrelevant to that fact. And yet, the essayist only presents the former as being in the wrong for fighting for her birthright. However, as it's been already explained before, the Starks’ claim to the North isn’t morally righteous. They only have dominance over the North because, for thousands of years, their ancestors fought against, drove away and killed most of its indigenous population (the Children of the Forest), as well as multiple families who were also vying for control over the region. With that in mind, Dany fighting for her birthright isn’t any more problematic than the Starks enjoying the lands and privileges obtained with conquest and bloodshed, as well as the labor of peasants. One could argue that GRRM may have a double standard against Dany in this case (though it's been argued before that he doesn't intend to present the Iron Throne as a source of greed and evil like how fandom presents it) because of the order of the events and depending on whether he holds Dany accountable for more problems for waging her war than the Starks for having done/doing essentially the same thing, but that’s not what the essayist is doing. Instead, they a) take for granted that Dany is doing the wrong thing for fighting for the Iron Throne ("To delay the call of the North and continue to divide an already weakened realm is to give into dark desires.") and b) center all their speculations about her eventual demise based on that belief.
Ultimately, I would argue that none of these three dilemmas - peace versus violence, companionship versus rulership, home versus the Iron Throne - come with easy answers. When it comes to the first conflict, it’s important that Dany prioritizes the lives of the slaves over the privileges of the masters, but that causes more war and bloodshed. When it comes to the second and the third conflicts, it’s worth noting that the first options (which the essayist presents as the “good” ones) are actually the selfish paths for Dany to take. After all, she would rather live a normal life with a husband (companionship) in the house with the red door (home) - “She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself”. But, as the quote shows, instead of choosing these selfish goals, Dany accepts the burden of rulership and the fight for the Iron Throne because of her duty towards her people and ancestors. And, while this path leads to war (either in Meereen or in Westeros, though the former is morally righteous and the latter, while not inherently justified, is not any more problematic than Robb fighting for Northern independence), power is also the means through which Dany can make changes that benefit the common people.
With all that said, it’s ironic that Dany fans are often accused of flattening her character or her choices when it’s actually her detractors or “neutrals” (like the essayist) who do so - they are dead set on portraying Dany’s available options as either “good” or “bad” and on speculating that choosing the latter ones will lead to her downfall, but the text actually gives her conflicts in which all the options have their pros and cons.
The essayist also makes a mistake that isn’t really up to interpretation or difference in opinions. They say that, in AGOT Daenerys III, “after admitting this difficult truth [that Viserys will never take back the Seven Kingdoms], Dany assumes the goal for herself (and at the time, her son)”. That is incorrect. In AGOT Daenerys V, moments before Viserys’s death, Dany says she would have allowed him to have the dragon eggs because “he is my brother … and my true king”. Jorah doesn’t think she should still acknowledge him as such, but she tells him that “he is all I have”. So no, Dany hadn’t assumed the goal for herself at that point, she only took over his campaign in her son's name (not hers) after Viserys's death. But the essayist needs to exaggerate Dany's ambition to justify her demise, since they speculate that “in that hurt and betrayal, all that will be left - she will think - is the crown”.
3) When it comes to requirement 3 (prophecies and “influential accidents” - that is, events that “have roots in a character’s motivation”, as well as “the sense of ‘if only this had not happened’” - will “heighten and exaggerate [tragic flaws that] already [exist]” in Dany), the problem is not in cherry-picking or in double standards against Dany, but rather in the essayist’s lack of knowledge about Dany’s characterization. It’s simply not true that Dany’s distrust of people grows to the point that she closes herself off to them. Instead, I would argue that Dany is actually portrayed as someone with a healthy distrust of people. We know from the books (1, 2, 3, 4) that she finds it unlikely that Barristan, Grey Worm or Missandei would ever betray her, but that she doesn’t think she can rely entirely upon Reznak, the Green Grace, the Shavepate, Hizdahr and Daario. Do Dany’s doubts about these people’s intentions lead her to, as the essayist says, “push people away”? No. Through almost all of ADWD, she (wrongly, though understandably) believes that "until [freedmen and former masters stand together, Meereen will know no peace". Accordingly, Dany is willing to listen to the counsel of all of her advisors (both the ones she trusts and the ones she distrusts) to ensure that she makes informed decisions. To give some examples:
Dany allows “well spoken and gently born” people (i.e., not the typical condition of most former slaves, who are glad that Dany freed them) to sell themselves into slavery and imposes a tax each time men chose to do so like how it happened in Astapor (ASOS Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with both Missandei and Daario.
Dany employs the Unsullied to ask the Blue Graces if someone showed up with a sword wound and to ask butchers and herdsmen who’s been gelding goats (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.
Dany chooses not to punish any noble in response to the murder of Stalwart Shield and only increases the amount of gold for whoever gives information about the Sons of the Harpy (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she agreed with Reznak and disagreed with the Shavepate.
Dany gives up on banning the tokar and wears it herself (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace.
Dany (rightly) refuses to reopen the fighting pits for a while until she later relents in the name of the peace with the Meereenese nobles (ADWD Daenerys I, II, III, VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Hizdahr, Reznak, the Green Grace and the Shavepate and agreed with Missandei.
Dany delays the choice of a husband until it becomes necessary later (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak, the Shavepate and the Green Grace.
Dany chooses to pay the shepherds for the animals that they say their dragons ate (ADWD Daenerys I). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak.
Dany pays Hazzea’s father the blood price (i.e., one hundred times the worth of a lamb) for her death, lays her bones to rest in the Temple of the Graces and promises to pay for his children each year so they shall not want (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she disagreed with the Shavepate.
Dany allows the Shavepate to torture the wineseller and his daughters for information about the Sons (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate.
Dany imposes a blood tax on the noble families to pay for a new watch led by the Shavepate, takes the gold and the stores of food of any nobleman who wishes to leave the city and keeps two children from each pyramid as hostages instead of letting the nobles go unpunished after nine freedmen were killed by the Sons (ADWD Daenerys II). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate and disagreed with Reznak.
Dany has Barristan and Groleo and his captains and sailors to inspect Xaro’s ships (ADWD Daenerys III). By making this decision, she agreed with Barristan.
Dany chooses not to go to Westeros despite being offered ships to do so (ADWD Daenerys III). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.
Dany doesn’t kill her child hostages despite the Sons’ ongoing attacks (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace and disagreed with the Shavepate.
Dany agrees to marry Hizdahr if he’s able to give her ninety days of peace in Meereen (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr, the Green Grace and Reznak and disagreed with the Shavepate, Barristan, Missandei and Daario.
Dany refuses to gather the masters and kill them indiscriminately (ADWD Daenerys IV). By making this decision, she disagreed with Daario.
Dany doesn’t allow the Shavepate to continue his tortures due to their unreliable results (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr and disagreed with the Shavepate.
Dany refuses to use her dragons in battle (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with Reznak.
Dany decides not to take the field against Yunkai (ADWD Daenerys V). By making this decision, she agreed with the Shavepate and disagreed with Barristan.
Dany brings the food to the Astapori refugees instead of sending someone else to do it (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Reznak, the Shavepate and Barristan.
Dany burns the dead among the Astapori refugees, bathes an old man and shames her men into helping her (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.
Dany refuses to allow Hizdahr’s mother and sisters to inspect her womb and to wash Hizdahr’s feet before he washes hers (ADWD Daeneerys VI). By making this decision, she disagreed with the Green Grace and Reznak.
Dany decides to marry Hizdahr by Ghiscari rites and to wear a white tokar fringed with pearls (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with the Green Grace and Reznak.
Dany allows Hizdahr to reopen the fighting pits (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr, the Green Grace and Reznak.
Dany goes along with a peace agreement with the Yunkish slavers in which she’ll let Yunkai and Astapor reinstall slavery if they leave Meereen intact (ADWD Daenerys VI). By making this decision, she agreed with Hizdahr.
Dany holds court in order to, among other reasons, meet the Westerosi men that came over from the Windblown (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she agreed with Daario.
Dany doesn’t accept Quentyn’s marriage proposal because she doesn’t want to abandon her people (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.
Dany doesn’t ride a horse in a tokar to meet Hizdahr (ADWD Daenerys VII). By making this decision, she agreed with Missandei.
Dany decides not to sound out the Company of the Cats (even though she wanted to) because Barristan says he's untrustworthy (ADWD Daenerys VIII). By making this decision, she agreed with Barristan.
Dany attends the reopening of the pits (ADWD Daenerys IX). By making this decision, she disagreed with Missandei.
Dany allows the Brazen Beasts to guard her because she wants to show that she trusts them so that her people can trust them as well (ADWD Daenerys IX). By making this decision, she disagreed with Barristan.
Dany prevents Tyrion and Penny from fighting against lions with wooden swords. By making this decision, she disagreed with Hizdahr.
I didn’t include all of Dany’s decisions because she makes many of them on her own and/or without someone explicitly supporting them or opposing them (in fact, many of the ones above were made without any advisor giving her their feedback, but I listed them if they’re seen agreeing or disagreeing with her onpage anyway). That being said, note that Reznak is the one that Dany is most suspicious of (because he perfectly fits the description of one of the treasoners), but that five of her decisions follow his recommendations, in contrast to Barristan (the knight who she actually trusts and who keeps all her secrets) only having his advice followed twice. Also note that Dany “trusted Skahaz more than she trusted Hizdahr”, but she agreed with the former three times and disagreed with him eight times, in contrast to having agreed with the latter four times and disagreed with him twice. The list clearly shows that Dany listens to everyone’s feedback (including from people she distrusts), considers it carefully, makes her own decisions and handles dissent extremely well. Her actions reflect her own words (“A queen must listen to all. [...] One voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found”, “It seems to me that a queen who trusts no one is as foolish as a queen who trusts everyone”).
There is, however, one character who is seen only listening to people who agree with her and who distrusts and closes herself off to almost everyone - Cersei Lannister. And it’s especially worth noting that Cersei is meant to be “directly contrasted” with Dany, that the author was “doing point and counterpoint” with them and that each of them is meant to show “a different approach to how a woman would rule in a male dominated, medieval-inspired fantasy world”. In other words, Dany and Cersei are narrative foils, but Cersei’s traits are being transferred to Dany in this essay.
Also, I could just as easily create an entire narrative about how Sansa will end up closing herself off to people based on what we see on canon. She thought she could trust Joffrey, but she ultimately couldn’t. She thought she could trust Cersei, but she ultimately couldn’t. She trusted Sandor, but he left her. She tried to trust the Tyrells, but they ultimately disposed of her after she was no longer necessary. She tried to rely on Dontos, but he was a disappointment and was ultimately murdered. She doesn’t trust Littlefinger, but she needs to stick to his side because she has no better option. She considered telling the Vale lords her identity, but she doesn’t trust them. All of this feeds into Sansa’s distrust of others and will lead to tragic consequences. Indeed, as Sansa herself says, "In life, the monsters win". I bet that the essayist would find this whole speculation biased considering that they favor Sansa's character. But then, why is only Dany singled out as the one who is going to meet her demise even though it’s made clear that she continues to trust people through and through?
The essayist needs to say that Dany starts distrusting people to an unhealthy degree (“As Dany gains more power, [...] her focus on the treasons causes her to push people away, widening the gap between rulership and companionship”; ”The more power she gains, the greater her isolation and likely her fear of betrayal. The fear of betrayal is, of course, human. But GRRM has stated that he likes to turn dramatic situations up to 11, which is necessary to create the Shakespearean tragic hero. Dany’s fear must be larger than life.”), as well as to judge her campaign to take back the Seven Kingdoms based on double standards (“Dany’s great sin within the story’s moral order will have been focusing on the war for Westeros against Aegon VI before she turns to the enemy of the North”) compared to the Starks. If they didn’t do so, there wouldn’t be a reason to justify Dany’s demise. If they didn’t do so, the entire speculation that she’s a Shakespearean tragic hero falls apart. But saying that something is true doesn’t necessarily make it true, you need to provide the textual evidence (which they barely do … They assume that the reader will take almost everything they say for granted. After all, since there’s a prophecy foretelling that Dany will be betrayed three times, of course she’s going to distrust people way too much from now on).
There’s also another aspect of Dany’s relationship with prophecies that the essayist portrays inaccurately. They say that “the effect of this prophecy on Daenerys is multifaceted” for “[promising] greatness” (which, along with the also inaccurate statement that “part of Dany’s pursuit of the Iron Throne is born from a sense of destiny”, implies that Dany wants to be great or that she thinks of herself as great, none of which are true) and pushing her “further from the people who surround her”. I already questioned the latter statement, and the former is inaccurate too. After all, Dany has doubts that there are men in Westeros waiting for the Targaryens to return. The birth of the dragons has to do with the fact that Dany was able to put two and two together with clues from dragon dreams and Mirri's words, not because she thinks she's exceptional. Dany is not really sure that the red comet was meant for her. She followed its direction because the other paths weren't reliable and, even in Qarth, she's unsure that it was meant to guide her to success. Then she never thinks about it again. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany is surprised when told by Quaithe that she's the reason why magic is increasing in the world and never thinks or brags about it after their interaction. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany doesn't think she won any victories in the House of the Undying, she credits Drogon for burning the Undying Ones. She only allows Jhiqui to add a bell to the end of her braid because "the Dothraki would esteem her all the more for a few bells in her hair". Dany refuses to sit on the throne inside the Great Pyramid's audience chamber and chooses to sit on a simple ebony bench that the Meereenese think does "not befit a queen". Dany refuses the offer to have a statue in her image to replace the bronze harpy in the Plaza of Purification. I'd expect otherwise from someone who thinks they're exceptional. Dany is highly self-critical and, later in ADWD, thinks that she "was as clean as she was ever going to be" after taking a bath because she holds herself accountable for the upcoming slaughter in the opening of the fighting pits. I'd expect different from someone that thinks they're exceptional. Dany doesn’t think that the people who came to the reopening of the pits wanted to see her - “it was my floppy ears they cheered, not me”. I'd expect different from someone that thinks they're exceptional. Most of Dany's titles (the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Mhysa, Azor Ahai, etc) are given to her by other people, they're not self-proclaimed (not that there's a problem if they were, I'm only saying it to reiterate that Dany doesn't think she's exceptional). The ones that she assumes on her own are the ones that anyone who believes in birthright (i.e., everyone in her time and place, regardless of family, regardless of whether they're Targaryens) would assume.
4) When it comes to requirement 4 (Dany will (according to the essayist’s speculations) take actions that produce “exceptional calamity” and her demise will be “her own choice and doing”) … Well, we now enter the realm of speculation. It’s not impossible that Dany “will feel like a villain to the Westerosi, as she burns their villages and crops ahead of a hard winter” in the future. The problem here, once again, is in the double standards. Look at the way the essayist describes the likely reascendance of the Starks in the upcoming books - “With the death of “good” characters like Ned, the injury of innocents and moments such as the Red Wedding, ASOIAF as a story is not concerned with justice. But as the story progresses, we see that the way Ned ruled his people and raised his children contrasts with characters like Tywin and his methods. Much of the North seems to continue to rally behind the idea of the Starks, some with less “honorable” methods than others, while Tywin’s legacy begins to fall apart. Like in Shakespeare’s tragic world, there appears to be an order that arcs towards a higher idea of goodness that instills a dramatic satisfaction”. Like I said above when I questioned requirement 2, the Starks’ claim to the North is no more justified than Dany’s to the Seven Kingdoms. They have the advantage of having had their rule normalized throughout the thousands of years they ruled the North, but it doesn’t change the fact that, because they’re feudal lords, they still maintain a system rigged in favor of the nobles that promotes social inequality and extreme lack of social mobility. It doesn’t change the fact that there's no righteous form of feudalism. But only Dany is criticized in that sense by the essayist - “By nature, power breeds inequality, when one party has the ability to decide the fate of another. That inequality creates distance. As a queen Dany wields absolute power over the rest of her subjects and her court”. Which is pretty infuriating not only because the Starks are also morally grey in the sense that the essayist describes, but also because GRRM specifically mentioned that Daenerys is the ruler "who wants equality for everyone, she wants to be at the same level as her people". Additionally, if Ned left a legacy that motivated his people to fight against his enemies, so did Dany with the former slaves. But the essayist needs to ignore all of that to paint Dany as a Shakespearean tragic hero.
Even if we don’t take into account what TWOIAF reveals about the Starks’ ancestors, the main story itself often paints House Stark’s actions in a negative light. We see a peasant spitting at the mention of the Starks and saying that things were better with King Aerys II in power. We're told that Northmen looking for Jaime on Edmure’s orders burned a village called Sallydance and were guilty of rape and murder. It’s no wonder that the High Sparrow mentions the wolves along with the lions as threats to the septas. Also, thousands of soldiers died indirectly because of Robb’s decisions, as well as lots of people who remained north and became vulnerable to raping and pillaging due to his inability to hold Winterfell. And finally, when winter comes, the smallfolk will be affected by the actions of the northmen, who (like Dany might do in the future) already helped to disrupt the harvest and to leave the continent short on food. And yet, why is their future success framed as “an order that arcs towards a higher idea of goodness”? Why is Dany the only one who is said to be “giv[ing] into dark desires” by “divid[ing] an already weakened realm” when the Starks (framed as the heroes in the essay) did the same thing? This double standard gets infuriating when one remembers that Dany is the one fighting a war in the name of the disenfranchised (even though she is not connected to them by blood or lands or oath of fealty and doesn’t gain anything by helping them), while the Starks are (and will be, if they want to retake Winterfell) fighting a war because of personal injury (which, sympathetic as it may be, doesn’t justify the damage that they caused to the smallfolk). It gets even more infuriating when, as @rakharo pointed out to me, one remembers that, while Dany is trying to right the wrongs of the Valyrians by ending slavery in Slaver’s Bay, none of the Starks have acknowledged, much less tried to make amends for injustices perpetrated by the First Men against the Children of the Forest. It gets even more infuriating when one remembers that Aegon the Conqueror united Westeros in preparation for the War for the Dawn (something that GRRM himself confirmed), while the Starks’ ancestors conquered the North solely because of their greed. That's why Dany’s story can’t be effective as a tragedy: she’d be punished for starting to do what everyone else was doing after doing more than almost everyone else was doing.
5) When it comes to requirement 5 (Dany “[rose] high in position” and is “an exceptional being”, which sets her apart as a character that fits the mold of the Shakespearean tragedy because her reversal of fortune will highlight “the greatness and piteousness of humanity”), again, we’re in the realm of speculation. But there are some things to question as well. First, the essayist validates the criticisms that Dany “too easily ascends to a position of power” by using them as proof that she’s a tragic character. But that’s not really true, which becomes clear with a few comparisons: the Starks lost their father, mother and older brother throughout the story because of the Lannisters, which Dany also did; but her losses go beyond them: she also lost another brother, her first husband and her first child. The Starks had their direwolves given to them, Dany had to use her intuition and then literally walk into a fire to birth her dragons. Aegon the Conqueror used dragons to take Westeros, Dany conquered three cities without barely using hers. Jon Snow’s conflict in ADWD involves conciliating the Free Folk and the Night’s Watch after he makes decisions favoring the former group, while Dany’s involves conciliating the freedmen and the slavers after she makes decisions favoring the former group, which has a worldwide impact; Jon’s conflict has relatively low stakes (because it hasn’t involved the Others so far), Dany’s conflict leads to “half the world” wanting her dead. As these examples show, Dany suffered more losses than the Starks. Dany had to do a lot more than the Starks to find her animal companions. Dany became a conqueror primarily because of her military strategies and resourcefulness without relying on dragonfire like her ancestor. Dany faced greater opposition than her male counterpart Jon so far. As we can see, gaining power and retaining it has not been easy for Dany at all. Every single one of her accomplishments has been earned. But it sure is interesting that Dany’s supposed future tragedies must stem from her actions, but that her victories aren’t given the proper credit and acknowledged as being a result of what she also did as well.
And then the essayist declares something even more inaccurate: that Dany “overcame each obstacle that came her way” and that “Robb and Jon paid for their mistakes while Dany did not” (which, to the essayist, is evidence that “Dany’s fall is meant to stand in contrast as something grander than just one slip-up”).
First of all, Dany clearly did not overcome every obstacle that came her way. Saying so means ignoring all of her ADWD storyline (and it’s funny how Dany's detractors go from saying that she’s overpowered and hasn’t suffered consequences to accusing her of being a bad ruler precisely because she dealt with the negative consequences of her choices, lol). To recap, Dany had an indirect part in the wars outside Meereen because she left the Yunkish slavers’ wealth intact, which leads to terrible consequences - multiple city-states and sellsword companies joining forces against her, Astapor’s fall, the pale mare’s outbreak, the emergence of refugees from Astapor outside her city and the upcoming Battle of Fire. Dany had an indirect role in the wars inside Meereen because she left most of the Meereenese slavers alive with most of their wealth intact, which leads to terrible consequences - the Sons of the Harpy’s attacks and dozens of freedmen’s deaths. Additionally, Dany had an indirect role in Hazzea’s death because Drogon was allowed to roam freely and she had no way to train him or her brothers. All these problems culminate in Dany agreeing with a peace deal that, as already explained here, was inherently unjust for prioritizing the slavers over the freedmen. Dany had to learn that, as much as she wants peace and to plant trees, there are situations in which she can’t be merciful because violence really is the only way to achieve justice for the disenfranchised. (On the flip side, that’s one of the reasons why I’m critical of the theory that Dany accidentally burns King’s Landing. When she was merciful, as I just listed, great tragedies occurred (which is fine, it was a realistic exploration of what happens when you abolish slavery and try to do good). When she used fire and blood, great tragedies will occur too? Even though she would be acting just like the Starks or any other feudal lord by fighting for her birthright? The theory narratively punishes Dany in a way that it doesn't do with the Starks, which is why it's no wonder that it was created by someone with Stark/Stannis biases. Additionally, it validates the common belief that Dany is only meant to be a wartime queen, even though she’s already showed that she’s a good peacetime ruler.)
Second, is dying the only way to pay for one’s mistakes (considering that only Robb and Jon are listed as examples of characters who did)? I don’t think so. Consider Sansa. Didn’t she pay for the mistake of going to Cersei to tell her of Ned’s plan? I would say she did. I would say the author agrees - “Sansa was the least sympathetic of the Starks in the first book; she has become more sympathetic, partly because she comes to accept responsibility for her part in her father's death”. Similarly, Dany had to accept her indirect responsibility for the tragedies that I just listed (Hazzea, forgive me; No marriage would ever bring them back to life, but if a husband could help end the slaughter, then she owed it to her dead to marry.; “I should’ve gone to Astapor. [...] I am the queen. It was my place to know.”; “What kind of mother has no milk to feed her children?”). I would argue that Dany and Sansa both paid for her mistakes, which were acknowledged, made them suffer and influenced their character developments. But the essayist needs to say that Dany didn’t pay for them (or that she had an easy rise to power) to help to paint her as a Shakespearean tragic hero.
6) Now that the essayist’s five requirements have all been questioned, I would also like to mention positive prophecies and speculations related to Dany that are never brought up in this essay.
First, Dany is AA/PTWP/SWMTW. That was heavily foreshadowed (read more about it here) and built up to and, if it doesn’t happen, it frankly would be bad writing. After all, haven’t readers praised GRRM for the foreshadowing of Ned’s death (e.g., a stag having killed the mother direwolf in the beginning of AGOT)? Haven’t readers praised GRRM for the foreshadowing of the Red Wedding (which we see from Tyrion’s to Theon’s to Dany’s chapters)? And yet, the essayist thinks that Dany’s death will cause “the forces [to] become more even, making victory less sure, or the Others surpass the side of the living in strength” and that “the White Walkers gain Drogon, becoming one-on-one but with the White Walkers having the larger dragon.”
Second, Dany and Bran both have dreams in AGOT leading up to their magical awakening. Bran needs to fly to escape from the “cold” of the darkness below, while Dany needs to run from the “icy breath behind”. Both of these dreams culminate with Bran and Dany learning to fly and accepting their magical destinies, which will be important in the War for the Dawn. And yet, the essayist thinks that “by understanding that the concept of warmth is tied to companionship, we can understand that the cold, “icy breath” must represent the opposite: loneliness” to justify Dany’s demise. Instead, it's clear (especially considering the parallels with Bran) that "icy breath" is an allusion to the Others. But they can't acknowledge that Dany will have a crucial role in the War for the Dawn, otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.
Third, Quaithe was presented as the third of the three Qartheen envoys (after Pyat Pree and Xaro) that came to find Dany in Vaes Tolorro, which heavily implies that she breaks the norm and is the one person that Dany can trust. And yet, the essayist takes for granted that Quaithe’s “narrative connection to betrayal is already established”.
Fourth, Dany might as well be the prophesied betrayer, not the one who’s betrayed by three people (after all, she’s already been betrayed by more than three people - Jorah, Mirri, Pyat Pree, Xaro, Brown Ben, the person that gave her the poisoned locusts, etc). It would fit with the pattern of Dany being an active participant in the prophecies rather than a passive one (e.g. Dany is AA/PTWP, not the one who gives birth to the AA/PTWP or the one who dies as a sacrifice to AA/PTWP) even though, at first, the readership is expected to think otherwise. And yet, the essayist takes for granted that Dany will be betrayed because otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.
Fifth, Dany is foreshadowed to have a positive relationship with Jon because “the blue flower” from the “wall of ice” filled the air with “sweetness”. And yet, the essayist needs to say that Dany "[will push] Jon away [...] from fear of betrayal and hurt” and from worries that he might be a “usurper” (nevermind that they are mischaracterizing Dany as someone overfocused on retaking the Iron Throne and who closes herself off due to prophecies, none of which are not true, as I already showed above) because otherwise their entire speculation falls apart.
7) Finally, I would also like to ask: what’s the point of giving Dany a storyline like this? Not only because it would be unearned due to the double standards and the changes that would have to occur in her characterization, but also because Dany has a special place in the narrative. She is 1) one of the two women (along with Asha) claiming power in her own right and the only one that we actually got to see rule, 2) one of three Chosen Ones (along with Bran and Jon) and the only female one, 3) one of two POV revolutionaries (along with Jon) and the only female one (and the one whose storyline arguably has the most political messages since she’s fighting against human slavery), 4) one of two POV female rulers (along with Cersei) and the only one who’s been depicted as competent (because she subverts the Good Princess Evil Queen dichotomy), 5) one of two Targaryen conquerors (three, if Young Griff does indeed take Westeros) and the only female one - “Aegon the Conqueror with teats”, 6) the only major mother who isn’t sure to be doomed and/or hasn’t gone mad, 7) one of two Targaryen queens regnant (along with Rhaenyra) and the only remaining Targaryen woman who gets to have power after a long line of Targaryen women - Rhaenyra herself, but also Rhaena, Aerea, Rhaella, Daenerys (Alysanne’s daughter), Rhaenys the Queen Who Never Was, Baela, Rhaena of Pentos, Daena - who were disempowered. GRRM already has a terrible history with female leaders in particular. If he causes the downfall of another one (especially one who is also one of the five main protagonists) for such unearned reasons like the ones that the essayist laid out, there would also be sexist implications. It would make the only she-king that we saw wielding power onpage overly defined by violence and destruction in a way kings don't have to be depending on their actions, it makes the only competent POV female ruler look incompetent in comparison to the other POV male rulers and it makes her conquest a disaster while the other male Targaryen conqueror (two, if Young Griff takes Westeros) gets to succeed. And yet, death by childbirth is the only speculation that the essayist calls out as problematic (“death by childbirth is a uniquely biologically female phenomenon and would be punishing Daenerys for her sexuality”).
8) What I find insidious about essays like this one is that they pretend to be unbiased (I do not argue for the death of Daenerys as a judgement on her ethical/moral goodness as a character nor of the world she inhabits. I argue it on the strength of her characterization and story, that she should be able to encompass such intensity and greatness as to be considered as complex as all these other single-name headliners in literature.) even though they really aren't. To recap, the essayist portrays Dany as someone with "violent" impulses even though she's a merciful person in general, accepts the peace deal with the slavers as valid even though it prioritizes the slavers' privileges over the lives of marginalized people, only talks about the negative connotations of fire, downplays Dany's compassion and sense of justice, argues that Dany is losing her ability to trust others even though she isn't, says that Dany is negatively affected by promises of greatness even though she isn't, argues that Dany had an easy rise to power and didn't pay for her mistakes even though she did, paints Dany's campaign to take the Iron Throne in a negative light without doing the same with the Starks having dominance over the North and ignores Dany's foreshadowing as AA/PTWP, as well as her special place in the narrative. So it’s not that Dany stans are unable to accept Dany’s mistakes and flaws, it’s that people who dislike her can’t understand her characterization or acknowledge the double standards against her or accept her particular place in the story. At the end of the day, an essay like this one is no better than jonsa metas mindlessly hating on Dany because, just like them, as @semperty and @niniane17 made clear, it also creates speculations with the intent of making Dany self-destruct and become irrelevant to pave the way for their preferred characters. The only difference is that it's more successful at appearing "neutral" to someone who doesn't remember what happened in the books very well, especially because Dany has become a polarizing character for a variety of reasons and it's easy to buy into the Appeal to Moderation fallacy.
Also, as I said before, the fact that these Twitter 'neutrals' all misunderstand Dany's characterization, downplay her struggles and judge her by different standards actually makes me somewhat hopeful that she's getting a better ending, because how can their speculations come true if they don't know Dany at all? But then, it's hard to trust GRRM.
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A set of reflections on a rainy writing day
Writing dialects from the UK is wild because:
-I'm not a prescriptivist, so we write our accents lexically here. [Nor am I a linguistics expert. It was a special interest a while back.]
-Every once in a while, something totally innocuous will have a completely unanticipated meaning, which is usually met with the utmost kindness and amusement by any readers from the UK. [Thank you.]
-Since I use a completely different set of slang in my daily life, sometimes I have to de-Americanize my writing. This has varying levels of success.
-Sometimes I have to part with really, really funny puns because the words aren't used in quite the same context, and it wouldn't be in character for George to say. This is especially heartbreaking because George is funny and I am middling at best in real life with humor, and the amount of befuddlement I've endured trying to write a clever person is excessive. I am not clever. I'm not. I'm an anxious ball of fettucine noodles that got left in a pot overnight and congealed.
-- [subpoint to the above, not related to dialect writing] I have so much social anxiety, that this blog has 80+ drafts that have never been posted of things I've thought to share with you all, then gone "oh, no. That might be too annoying/too personal/too awkward."
-the number of times I've googled "British word for [insert term here]" is astonishing. My instincts for when I need to google this phrase are spotty as well. Americanisms, therefore, do sneak their way in. [Tangentially--I know some people have British friends who read for specifically this type of thing. However, my writing schedule a mess, and I cannot subject someone else to its nonsense without feeling high levels of anxiety.]
-I'm still not positive about how "kip" is used grammatically/syntactically. I can't sort out the pattern in the syntax, so I've been fumbling with like two examples as a template this entire time. [I am an imposter.] [Truly. Is it "take a kip?" "Kipping?" "He's having a kip?" I do not understand.]
-So many words for raincoat. I love it. Never change.
-I do not live there, so I have less personal understandings of different regions and their quirks. I also don't know how new some words are in comparison to others, how far slang terms travel, and who would be more or less likely to use them. So, I've got to look all that up when I employ new slang or expressions.
-I tend to over explain in daily conversation. You might imagine, then, the pretzel that Cockney rhyming slang turns my brain into.
-"a bit" is used so often. It screams at me from the page. I stare at it, sometimes, wondering if it's repeated too much. Then I listen to someone from the UK talk and change my mind. [This is not meant critically or unkindly; every dialect has words it uses more than others.]
-Little references to things like soap operas, theme parks, or highways are the result of extensive research sprints, and there is one reader who consistently notices these things and every time they do, I nearly cry for joy.
-Wellies is my favorite word of theirs/yours. I love saying it. I love reading it. I love thinking about it. Wellies are a symbol of some of the most pure, joyful parts of existence to me. To have a set of shoes for walking through the rain/mud is to be cared for and to have your needs anticipated and to be prepared, and all of those things make me feel safe.
-I can't decide whether we're using British spellings or American. [Sorry if the back and forth between "color" and "colour" is driving you up the wall. It feels like I'm being fake if I use "colour," but I have physical difficulty using "colour" in written notes and things because that's not how the character would spell it. I know that it's most important to just be consistent. Yet here we are. Adrift in a sea of "o" and "ou," without a compass.]
-I've seen many jokes about British people not liking hugs. I've done my best to understand and acknowledge this while politely showing it the door within the context of Lumos, because 2020 and every year that's followed it has needed more hugs.
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syubub · 3 years
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May 13th Reading
Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.
Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!
Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.
(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)
So so so so
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Let's start.
I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!
Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.
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The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?
I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.
The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"
And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.
I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were
Now this part:
"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"
Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.
This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.
Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.
Anyways
He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.
I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.
Now let's begin the monster read.
So. The first row of cards
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I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"
Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.
The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.
So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?
Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles
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This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.
I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.
Soulmate time
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Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.
As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)
Now for the bad boys in the middle
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The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.
Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.
FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.
For the row of bottom cards
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I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.
Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.
Now to the sides!
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Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.
So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)
We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.
The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.
"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"
Now for soulmates cards (same structure)
Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."
Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.
Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"
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The last stretch my friends.
So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"
Now we have heaven sent.
""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"
" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."
And free from judgment, free to love
" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."
" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."
" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.
And that's all for the cards but but but.
Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.
So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up
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You gotta be fucking with me.
Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.
YOONGGGIIII
Anyway,
I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.
As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"
And then
It hit me
"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"
I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.
The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.
I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat
But Mr smug butt had different plans.
My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????
My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"
Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.
(Asshole)
Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?
To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.
Thanks, buddy.
Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.
My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.
Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!
~~~~
That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.
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thealexchen · 3 years
Note
i’ve actually read both of the articles that you mentioned earlier! I could see where both of them were coming from at varying points, though shannon liao’s struck me as a tad harsh, as someone who felt very seen by Alex, particularly with regard to her asian-american identity, and the cultural details and familial attitudes you see displayed throughout the game (especially in episode 5.) I could see why others would like them to be more overt, but they’re still present & relevant as is, imo.
I'm happy you read and enjoyed them! Well, since we’re on the subject, I might as well give my fuller thoughts about all this. This answer got horrendously long, so I'm putting it under a read more. I really wanted to talk about this more fully, so thank you for sending this ask!
I definitely see Robert's point in his article. Alex didn’t need to be Asian for the story of True Colors to be told, but it’s still meaningful that she is so that Asian fans and fans of color can look up to her and feel represented. The Chens buck a lot of stereotypes too: Mrs. Chen was not a “tiger mom” and her kids and husband remember her fondly. Mr. Chen doesn’t push Alex and Gabe to excel in school, and in fact neither Alex nor Gabe went to college, but they still had happy futures. Alex isn’t the best friend or the Asian schoolgirl or the dragon lady or the Asian nerd. But at the same time, when Robert says "Alex never really talks about her thoughts on Chinese culture,” that’s like— well, what’s wrong with talking about it? Why not talk about it more explicitly? The words “Asian” and “Chinese” and “Vietnamese” aren’t even used in the game when "gay" and "lesbian" were, and that's a little disappointing.
I figured people would figure out Alex was at least Chinese because of her last name, but I saw some streamers unsure of what Alex’s ethnicity even was (“Alex is… Chinese, right?”). That was disappointing because Asians tend to be treated as a monolith when we’re so internally diverse. Also, it’s completely possible to miss that Alex and Gabe are also half-Vietnamese. Their mother’s name is Giang “Wendy” Chen, a Vietnamese name, but that’s only in the credits. There’s far less Vietnamese (and Southeast Asian) rep than Chinese, so I wish that had been made more explicit.
In Life is Strange 2, Sean and Daniel’s struggles (personal and institutional) were centered around their identity as half-Mexican boys. True Colors almost seemed to be going in the opposite direction in that Alex’s Asian heritage never really becomes plot-relevant, but Alex and Gabe’s background comes into focus in the last chapter.
Part of Shannon’s critique was that because Alex’s parents aren’t in the picture, the game can’t explore Asian culture through a familial lens. There is some truth to that: for children of immigrants in particular, their parents are their strongest (and sometimes only) link to their race and culture. I thought a big missed opportunity was exploring Alex’s possible sense of isolation and struggle to reconnect with her Asian heritage after being separated from her family.
After growing up with two Asian parents, eating Asian food, celebrating Asian holidays, likely speaking Asian languages, etc. it would have likely been disorienting and lonely for Alex to suddenly be raised by non-Asian foster parents and lose all those traditions all at once. Possible comments like “I really miss Mom’s pho” or “Do you know how difficult it is to find hoisin sauce in the stores around here?” could have inferred more at that specific kind of loss and isolation in Haven Springs. The game touches upon this very briefly when you look at Gabe’s shrine, and Alex does comment “I don’t even know if I’m doing this right… but I felt like I had to do something.” In this way, I find it especially poignant that she still held onto cultural traditions after so long.
But I still thought Shannon’s critique was overly harsh. The little details really do add up, like in Alex’s childhood home, and meant a lot to me too. And most importantly, there was representation behind the scenes too: Alex was voiced by two(!) Asian American women and the lead writer, Felice Kuan, is Chinese. I think Alex naming her mouse Shu-shu was my favorite detail. Because it’s the one detail you can’t miss. Every streamer remembers Shu-Shu’s name and loves how cute she is and they can probably infer it’s a Chinese term. It just is so visible and empowering in that way and my heart felt warm every time I heard someone say “Aw! Shu-shu!"
But that doesn't mean Alex's Asian heritage didn't matter at all. I really appreciated that Alex's backstory still mattered because she came from a poor, working-class immigrant family. Her life circumstances were used for drama, but none of Alex's suffering was racially motivated and that felt tastefully done. I’m gonna paraphrase a comment I saw on alliebeemac’s playthrough of episode 5: "It's no coincidence that both Alex and Ryan lost their mothers at a young age, but because Ryan's father was a military veteran and had a high-paying job as a Typhon foreman, he got to keep his childhood whereas Alex's entire world was torn apart... And if you want to look at it even more metaphorically, the white patriarch Jed was able to preserve his own image as a hero and 'good old boy' of Haven by literally sacrificing an immigrant family to the mines with the expectation that nobody would come looking for them. Whether you're an immigrant or whether you're a foster child, the system is saying 'we don't care about you.'"
And at the end, Alex tells Jed, "You want to look away and pretend the men you hurt weren't people. But I won't let you.” It's a deliberate stand against Jed (a white man)’s dehumanization of poor laborers, including her Chinese immigrant father. Jed isn't explicitly portrayed as a racist, but his actions come from a privileged, and subsequently racist and classist place. For me, it worked better than LiS2's portrayal of racism because it was subtler and more personal. Alex stands up against Jed out of a personal sense of justice for her brother (and her father).
Do I wish we had more? Yeah, absolutely. I wish Alex got to actually speak Mandarin or Vietnamese in the game because that's so rare in games, even though I knew that would be unrealistic because Erika Mori is Japanese. I wish the character artists had at least made a version of Alex and Gabe’s models without shoes, because it just didn’t look right to see them wear shoes in the house (especially in bed??) and even LiS2 had Sean and Daniel in their socks in some scenes. I wish Alex and Gabe talked more about their family while Gabe was still alive and Alex could have had that comfort of someone who misses the food and customs they used to celebrate. But like I said, one piece of media isn’t gonna please everyone. And Asian representation in particular is so tricky because not only is there not enough of it, but Asian Americans are so diverse and come from so many different backgrounds. Children of immigrants are going to feel more connected to their Asian heritage than third or fourth gen kids or mixed race kids for example. Everyone is going to have a different definition of “Asian culture” and “accurate representation.”
But on a meta-level, it really means so much to simply have an Asian face on the box of a major Western game ❤️ Like even just seeing the way Alex's eyes crinkle when she smiles or how other characters find her attractive (like Steph’s note during the LARP preferring Alex’s natural black hair), it feels so affirming. It’s incredible to see an Asian girl be called the hero of her own story, to see her succeed and fail and cry and laugh and fall in love and kiss another woman and be comfortable in her bisexuality. It acknowledges that the queer community includes Asians, that Asian girls can also be curvy, that Asian girls can and do struggle with mental health. And like Erika Mori said, Alex is a fully-realized character and that’s what makes her so compelling, first and foremost. She also has a strong moral compass and dreams and fears and is such an incredible role model for people of all backgrounds, and that’s what makes her identity as a queer woman of color so much more meaningful.
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song-of-oots · 3 years
Text
On the subject of Redcloak’s name...
I don’t know if we’ll ever find out what his real name is, but still it’s fun to speculate on the circumstances that might prompt him to reveal it. The first scenario that springs to mind is that he could say it to Xykon in a moment of self-assertive rebellion, which certainly makes a decent amount of sense. But I actually like the idea of him saying it to O-chul even more. Far-fetched and implausible? Well, possibly. But still I find it quite thematically appropriate and not beyond the realms of possibility…
But discussing why would require analysis of both Start of Darkness and Good Deeds Gone Unpunished. So… behind the link for spoilers:
Xykon is an obvious candidate for being the person Redcloak would reveal his name to for a couple of reasons. Firstly, Xykon is the person who prompted Redcloak to come up with it in the first place, when he realised that trying to get Xykon to remember his actual name would likely result in a lightning bolt to the face.
The second reason is more complicated.
When it comes down to it, Xykon’s role in Redcloak’s identity loss is pretty incidental. Redcloak’s name symbolises his unyielding devotion to the Dark One and his cause. The Crimson Mantle is the badge of office for the Dark One’s High Priest, a role and a mission that Redcloak has allowed to consume him to the point where even he seems to have forgotten that’s not his actual name (strip 1205). In Start of Darkness, Redcloak readily complies with the new title, despite his brother's protestations that it's demeaning. He even allows himself to be called Redcloak by the other goblins because he says it's more convenient – and Xykon has nothing to do with this decision. Redcloak is a complacent, even active participant in his identity loss because he embraces the role the Dark One has set out for him to the detriment of everything else in his life.
This means that in order to rediscover his old identity, Redcloak needs to actively reject the Dark One and his Plan. But Redcloak’s thrall to the Dark One’s cause is now deeply tied up with his alliance with Xykon. So depending on the exact circumstances, rejecting Xykon could be synonymous with breaking away from the Dark One…  
(I say “could be” because I can also think of scenarios where Redcloak lashes out at Xykon even though his devotion to the Dark One and the Plan have not changed.)
Still I’m not sure that revealing his name to Xykon would be that significant for either one of them. For one, I don’t think Xykon would care that much and would probably hilariously misunderstand (it's not like he ever put any effort into policing what Redcloak called himself in the first place, and he might not even realise Redcloak ever had a different name). Redcloak’s relationship with Xykon is abusive and degrading, but it's not the reason he allowed himself to become a tool of the Dark One, and so I'm not sure that asserting his original identity to Xykon would be that liberating for him… I mean it could be, because (as discussed) it also carries the symbolic weight of rejecting the Dark One’s mission and standing up for himself…
But thinking about how Redcloak did become a tool of the Dark One brings us to the Sapphire Guard. Not only are they responsible for the events that led to Redcloak first donning the Crimson Mantle, the Sapphire Guard also primed him to become extra receptive to the Dark One's message. He was essentially promoted to High Priest, brainwashed and radicalised in the middle of the most traumatic event of his life – watching nearly all of his loved ones be destroyed by people claiming to be the righteous favoured of the gods. It set him on a path of prejudice and hatred against humans, PC races and gods alike – but especially the Sapphire Guard. That was the start of the process whereby he lost his original identity and became Redcloak (the end was the day he killed his brother).
And this brings me onto O-chul.
It’s almost poetic to think that while the abhorrent actions of O-chul’s predecessors may have triggered Redcloak’s creation, another (much more worthy) representative of the Sapphire Guard might be present to witness him reclaim his previous identity. It seems quite far-fetched, because it presupposes a huge amount of growth on Redcloak's part. But that is precisely what is required for him to get to the point of reclaiming his old name in the first place...
I think that rediscovering his old self would take more than just rejecting his Redcloak persona (and all that entails). Not only does he need to destroy who he was, he also needs to take steps into becoming someone else. Doing so would be a painful process, since he would also have to confront the horror and futility of all the terrible things he did in service of the Dark One. Whether he could go from there to forging a new and better path or just self-destruct/lash out in despair is for Rich to determine (if he even chooses to send Redcloak down that route at all). But say he did try and do something to make a difference, to correct his wrongs, to find another way of helping his people…
Despite all the bad blood between them, O-chul is exactly the kind of person who could look on such efforts with compassion. Good Deeds Gone Unpunished shows that O-chul is someone who cares about and respects individual goblins – to the point where he remembers their names when others don’t bother. He also makes clear that he believes in giving people a shot at being better, and treats people based on their behaviour, not their creature type.
He represents what the Sapphire Guard should be and should always have been, not what they were.
If Redcloak could ever learn to acknowledge that, that would show remarkable character growth, and a lessening of the prejudiced mindset that O-chul’s predecessors first fostered in him.
Could Redcloak ever realistically get to that point? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem highly likely, but still I like the idea – and I don’t think it’s completely outside the realms of possibility.
(If nothing else, it makes an interesting concept for a fanfic.)
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hazydaaze · 3 years
Text
An analysis of the Bold Type that I need to get off my chest (it'll be worth it, I promise)
I studied English literature at university, and it has always been instinctive for me to analyse characters, storylines, bigger pictures and under the surface tensions in film & tv. Discussing emotions, motivations and themes with my gf and my pals late at night is one of my favourite pastimes ever and I love everything to do with filmography and art ahhhh. (I wrote my dissertation on David Bowie & The Artistry of Sexuality, ya feel me?)
The Bold Type isn't filmography at all, but I think Jane Sloan and Jacqueline Carlyle hit different for me, being a queer woman in my 20s and a full-time writer. I can't really explain why. I guess there are a lot of queer female characters in film & tv that don't really feel inherently queer, and even as two identifying straight women Jane and Jacqueline felt queer to me. Their connection and understanding of each other was authentic and quite complex. I think they had potential to be something that we'd never seen before in mainstream media, because of their age difference and life experiences. I thought that was so compelling and so important to talk about and to give a recognised space to.
There is one thing that struck me most about them and it's insane to me that I haven't seen a lot of analysis on it, so it's the point of this post.
To my knowledge the show or actors haven't delved too deeply into it either, and given what went down I don't understand why people AREN'T talking about it. I wanted to bring it up. Btw, this post contains spoilers.
***Sexual abuse trigger warning***
In season 1, we learn that Jacqueline is the victim of rape, and the only person she has told about it is her husband, Ian. Given that she mentions that they've been married for around 19 years and the assault happened before they met, we can assume Jacqueline has been carrying the weight of what happened to her for over two decades. During all that time she didn't talk about it with anyone else, not a single other person.
And then Tiny Jane comes along. Jane Sloan, the big swing writer who just wants to write meaningful stories that help other women and girls that need it, like she did growing up. She fucks up a lot on the way and slowly begins discarding her judgemental opinions as she grows. But when she is at her best she has genuine compassion and empathy for people, and despite her reservations, Jacqueline gives her the opportunity to write about the story of a rape survivor and performance artist. She isn't aware, at the time, what that means for her own trauma or her own acceptance of it. But she does it anyway, because she sees something in Jane and she has seen it there from the beginning.
Jane starts to write and, as we know, in the most beautiful and compelling moment at the season 1 finale, Jacqueline is confronted with what happened to her. She stands in Central Park holding these weights, and you can see the crushing pain in her eyes as the realisation descends down on her. She shares a look with Jane, and a moment of understanding passes between them at what this means.
Despite all this, she lets Jane capture her trauma. She lets her publish her untold experience of her rape from two decades gone. She lets millions of people see her story in writing, with Jane Sloan's name printed above it. She re-lives and faces up to the harsh reality of that pain and that truth, through Jane.
Can you even imagine the trust you must have in someone to do that? The sheer love that took, for Jacqueline to give Jane her voice and her truth, with all its painful and hard repercussions?
This storyline is the boldest part of the Bold Type. It's the most honest and the most authentic. It captures the raw emotion of Jacqueline, and of Jane, and the two characters really see each other for who they are. It's one of the reasons why their relationship is so central to the other's storyline.
We don't ever see Jane truly unpick in detail what Jacqueline did for her. It spoke so many volumes and ... well, isn't that what love is?
It's this storyline that sets the tone for their relationship over the course of the show. Jacqueline sacrifices herself for Jane again and again. She publishes the article about the lack of accessible healthcare at Safford and gets fired for doing so, purely so Jane can afford to freeze her eggs. Jacqueline says there were a lot of other things that contributed to it, but Jane knows her article was the final straw, the point of no return.
Over a decade of pouring everything she could give into Scarlet Magazine and it’s readers, only to be gone in a second. All for Jane.
And again, in season 4, in the few real moments we are given between them, one of their final interactions is Jacqueline giving Jane the go-ahead to explore a story of potential abuse at States & Nations, a company Ian is associated with. Ian literally asks Jacqueline to stop pursuing the story, due to the sexual relationship he had with the source when he and Jacqueline were separated. When Jane challenges Jacqueline over her reasoning for pulling the story, she asks her to give the story a chance. Jacqueline lets her, knowing full well that it could prove irreparably damaging to her marriage and her family, and she does it anyway.
Jacqueline chooses the truth, over her career and over her marriage. She chooses Jane. As humans, there isn't much more you can give to someone else. I’m wracking my brains trying to think of a way Jacqueline could portray her love for Jane more, and I’m all out of ideas.
I want to reiterate again how insane it is to me that none of this is really acknowledged, or at least not nearly as much as it should be amongst the show, its creators and its viewers, Jacqueline continually falls on her sword for Jane (weird analogy, but she does) and it is repeatedly glossed over. Their relationship is quickly dismissed as a "mother Jane never had" or a simple "boss/employee" power dynamic, and it seems so hollow, unjust and sorry - so unbelievably boring - in contrast to the experiences they have shared together and the sacrifices they have made.
I understand Jacqueline’s character was based on Cosmopolitan Editor in Chief, Joanna Coles, and therefore it makes sense that this queerness to her relationship with Jane was not intended. However, it’s there. Everything I mentioned in the post happened on the show in canon.
In 2021, the possibility that these two women could have romantic or sexual feelings towards each other shouldn't be a stretch. If either of these women were male characters with this much intertwined investment, high stakes and sacrifice, there would be no doubt they would be endgame. They would run away, have the hottest sex, all the while their reputations would be forever ruined in the name of love. And we, as viewers, would celebrate it without question - we would never dismiss it.
The concept of what they are, and what they can be as two women should be able to live and thrive. It should be given a beating heart. In the very least, the reality of it should be on the table and up for debate. But for many viewers, and the show’s creators, it just isn’t. And here lies the problem.
Jane and Jacqueline have such a beautiful dynamic, it is so deep and soul-wrenching. How can we ever limit what these two women are and what they would do for each other?
I really hope that one day we can see a relationship like theirs given the queer space it deserves. Because it would've been the bold thing (and the right thing) to do.
I'm going to publish a longer and more in-depth article about this on Medium, because as I said, analysing is my favourite pastime and I can't stop doing it. But for now, this is all I can manage.
Edit: Read my published Medium article.
Here's to Jane and Jacqueline and what could've been.
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kumkaniudaku · 3 years
Text
Understanding
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17
Recommended Listening: Understanding x Xscape, Purple Emoji (ft. J. Cole) x Ty Dolla $ign, My World x Asian
Word Count: 2,137 
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If you were going to win an award that afternoon, it’d be for attire, not confidence. Your expertly crafted golf outfit was the only thing willing your feet forward once you parked your car in front of Senior’s golf course.
Black women and men dressed like modern Jet magazine ads waltzed in and out of the clubhouse while you scanned the area for your party. You’d been to your fair share of golf courses, but none as exquisite as The National. Marble accents complemented modern brass finishes and unbeatable views of the city. The desire to take photos for your father was almost too much to shake, but you managed to play it cool. Acting out of place was surely some type of faux pas for the wealthy.
Across the way, Senior sat at the bar sipping a glass of water while thumbing through a newspaper. His furrowed brow was identical to Yahya’s whenever he was knee-deep in work or a good book. The mental comparison made you smile before ushering in a tinge of sadness. For two people so undeniably similar, they were miles apart physically and mentally.
You navigated through groups of young and old alike on the way to the bar.
“You made it on time,” Senior spoke without looking up from a story on education budget cuts.
“I made it with time to spare.”
“You don’t get praise for doing what’s right.”
“Think of how much better things would be if we did.”
Senior paused his reading to take a deep breath and shake his head. You mentally berated yourself for overstepping so soon. Not even five minutes into the outing and you had already committed an avoidable infraction
Yahya I prolonged the unbearable silence as he continued to read through another article, reading each line painstakingly slow while you watched in agony.
“I apologize. That was unnecessary.”
“I’ll ask you again,” he spoke, finally looking away from the newspaper to study your face. “Let’s leave the character right here. We’re here for a purpose, so grab your clubs and follow me to the first hole. I hope your game is as good as you are at running your mouth.” Taking his retort in stride, you quickly grabbed your set of clubs and followed with no objections. “After you.”
Senior found himself immediately impressed though he wouldn’t verbalize his feelings. He watched you breeze through each hole with near expert precision, opening a series of questions at hole 5 during casual small talk.
“Where’d you say you were from again?”
“A tiny town in South Carolina that you probably wouldn’t know.”
“Try me,” he answered while taking stock of his position on the fairway.
“Anderson, South Carolina. Home of Larry Nance and the great Chadwick Boseman.”
“Can’t forget James Kennedy, Young Lady.”
You cocked your head back in surprise. “What you know about Radio? I mean outside of what the movie says?”
Senior remained quiet long enough to take a hard swing. The loud “whiff” of his driver slicing through crisp, clean air didn’t match the stroke’s output. Both of you watch the golf ball sail high into the air before making a landing well short of the intended destination. Senior shook his head at the miscalculation before turning to answer your question.
“Black folks from all over are connected, even without all that Snapgram and Facebook foolishness.”
“I could argue it’s helped, right? How else would you be able to share your granddaughter’s first steps with the whole family?”
“In photo albums. You might not remember those, but they did us just fine.”
“Yeah, but it’s instantaneous conversation and information. Who wouldn’t want that?”
“Maybe instantaneous conversation is the problem. We aren’t making enough time to stop and really think about what we’re saying to each other.”
“Mm.” You let the conversation naturally taper before following Senior to his golf cart. The rolling hills provided enough scenery to keep you interested while you sorted the words in your head.
“I think we may have started off on the wrong foot.” You spoke once the cart came to a full stop. Senior trailed behind in silence, gathering a new club while watching you examine the other golfers in the area.
“You’re rather observant.”
You chuckled and plucked a club from your bag. “I’ve been told. Yahya calls me Eagle Eye when I catch something he’s already talked about ten minutes ago.”
“It’s what his Big Mama used to call his Pop-Pop for the same thing. That man was notoriously late to the punchline.” The nostalgia in Yahya I’s voice caught you off guard though he didn’t see your minor fumble. Something in his retelling appealed to your sense of compassion in a way that you considered long gone when it came to him.
“Let’s not beat around the bush. You have an issue with my presence that we should discuss. Because I can assure you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Bold,” Senior responded with a sarcastic laugh. He gestured to nothing in particular as you squared up to take a swing and nodded. “And direct. Continue.”
You took a moment to hit a line drive toward the green in the distance, using the movement as an outlet for the unexpected nerves churning your stomach. Both of you quietly watch the golf ball for its final resting place before you turned to speak.
“You are extremely hard to please, and it is literally ruining your family. Yahya does everything in his power, and, excuse my French, you don’t seem to give a fuck. Why is that?”
“What makes you think that my love isn’t what makes me push him to be the best that he can? It may not be the fluff and frills you’re used to in your home, but it’s what he needs to get him to his potential.”
“Did it help you?”
Senior mistakenly allowed a quick moment of confusion to take over his features. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“You tell me. When’s the last time you enjoyed a laugh with your family or felt like you could just...be? You’re carrying a weight that is crushing the people around you, and you don’t even see it.”
“You don’t…” Senior caught his words and bottled them behind his lips. He took a deep breath as he approached his golf ball and took a half-hearted swing. Noticing his misstep, he shook his head. “I’m from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. My father, Yahya’s Pop-Pop, moved my mother and me to a shotgun shack to find work when things weren’t quite shaking out back home. He was in and out of trouble and such. Couldn’t get right, but he had a natural knack for building and design.”
A nearby group of golfers erupted into laughter, helping to break up some tension.
“So architecture’s been in the family for a while,” you asked. Yahya I curled the corner of his lips into a far-off smile.
“A long, long time. It got us out of that shack when my siblings came along and into a house with our own rooms and a backyard. But, my father was a hard man. Hard to please, you know,” he laughed, making a reference to your earlier words. “He wanted the best from me, and he made damn sure he got it. I needed that to get my head out of the clouds.”
“You also needed some reassurance.”
“Perhaps. But, what’s done is done. I look at what I’ve built with no complaints, especially when it comes to my boys. I couldn’t be more proud of the men they’ve become.”
Senior’s proud smile almost looked foreign on his face. You’d never seen more than an indifferent expression or the slight twinge of anger smoldering behind his eyes.
Leaning on your club, you kept your eyes forward to gaze out over the course.
“Yahya would love to hear that. I don’t know if you know this, but he is desperately searching for your approval. There is not enough praise from me or anyone else that could replace knowing that you’re proud of him. Yet, as much as he would like to tell you these things himself, he’s afraid that you’ll think less of him for being vulnerable.”
“I could never think less of the boy. Tough love is still love.”
“Maybe for you,” you added, shrugging. “But, what good is continuing this cycle if it’s hurting the children you claim to love and the grandchildren after them?”
Senior dropped his head in thought before looking up with an unreadable expression. “Deuce will be fine. He’s all the best parts of his mother. I...I’m confident he’ll figure out fatherhood on his own despite my shortcomings. We raised him well.”
“Forgive me if I’m overstepping -”
“That has never stopped you before, young lady.” His light-hearted chuckle invited you to follow suit.
“Fair point,” you laughed. “So, let me cut to the chase. Allowing Yahya to just ‘figure things out’ is a passive existence. Yahya says you’re constantly reminding him to take things into his own hands. Sounds like you should take your own advice. Be the parts of your father that you needed at 33.”
Instead of acknowledging your advice, Senior twirled his club in his hand on the way to the golf cart. He maintained an impenetrable poker face that even the most skilled readers couldn’t interpret. You silently hoped that at least some of your words had made it through his thick skull, but you chose to let the discussion meet a natural end.
As he started the cart, Senior turned to you and smiled. “How the hell you learn to swing like that? I know it wasn’t in Anderson.”
“Hey, we play a little golf here and there!”
“Where? Out in the woods?”
“No, out in the Bayou like you did.”
A small smirk crept across your face as Yahya I chuckled at your joke. He sounded identical to Yahya, full of mirth and beautiful melodies.
“The ole Bayou,” he repeated in a thick accent. “You ain’t seen a place more beautiful in your life.”
“Maybe Yahya and I could visit one day.”
He quickly looked over and shrugged. “Maybe. For now, you focus on defending this lead. I think I’m getting back into my rhythm.”
Senior couldn’t make a convincing comeback, but he did show glimpses of a softer, more personable disposition. He cracked jokes on occasion and asked questions that turned the conversation from a therapy session to banter between associates. Your mind traveled to the possibility of civil family dinners or vacations during the ride home. Though it seemed silly to create imaginary scenarios after one conversation, you couldn’t help the urge to see a better future.
Your happiness helped you float into your shared apartment, making Yahya smile when he caught a glimpse of your wide grin and short skirt.
“Damn, girl,” he hollered from the couch with Leche cradled in his arms. “If Tiger was out there cheeked up like that, I might’ve paid a little more attention to the golf network.”
“Oh, really?”
Your raised eyebrow made Yahya kiss his teeth once he caught on to the joke. “You know what I meant. Where you been anyway?”
“Oh, I was just out doing a little golfing...with your dad.”
“Right. That was today, huh?”
Even Yahya’s best attempt at feigning interest, his question came out in a flat drone typically used on annoying coworkers. You dropped your purse and keys against a nearby barstool on the way to his spot on the couch.
“It was today. I think we had a good time,” you answered as you slid your arms around his neck from behind, placing a gentle kiss behind his ear. “He didn’t yell at me.”
“You must’ve kissed his ass the entire time.”
“No. We talked about how great I am at golf. I mean, I kicked his ass.”
“Good on you, baby girl. Bring honor to our house.” In a surprise maneuver, Yahya pulled you over the couch and into the space beside him. “Is that all?”
Silence blanketed the room, allowing the college basketball game in the background to have center stage. You considered your options carefully, weighing the pros of a potential argument against a peaceful Saturday indoors. Yahya turned his attention back to the television as he waited for a response.
“Did you hear me, baby? He didn’t say anything rude to you, did he?”
“No!” You blurted. Taking a deep breath, you slowly slid the remote off the coffee table and pressed the power button. Yahya blinked twice at his reflection on the black television screen before turning to you for answers. Your fingers danced across his thighs to interlock with his long digits.
“I think...I think we need to have a real talk about your dad.”
----
A/N: I hope this is better late than never. Only two more chapters left! Really striving to have those to y’all by the end of the month.
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