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and-it-freezes-me · 3 years

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Little Red Lies - Chapter 1

Or, AUgust 2021 Day 10 - Fake Dating

{Next}

Words: 5,439

[Booked tckts yet? virge wants 2 check u still need 2 places 4 reception dinner]

Trash Rat 22:57

[cant w8 2 meet ur new ~date~]

Trash Rat 22:58

Roman stared at the messages for several long seconds, then groaned.

[Of course I booked tickets. Yes I still need the +1 seat.]

Roman 23:04

[cant believe u havent even sent a pic or yk a name]

Trash Rat 23:06

[no shame if ur still </3 ovr remy]

Trash Rat 23:06

[even tho its been 2 yrs now]

Trash Rat 23:07

[Of course I’m over remy. You’ll meet my boyfriend when we get there. He’s shy.]

Roman 23:07

Roman seriously considered throwing his phone across the room and booking a plane ticket to Alaska rather than Manhattan. That way, he wouldn’t have to go to his brother’s wedding and admit that he was most definitely single and most definitely not over his ex boyfriend (of seventeen months - two years was an unfair exaggeration).

[u kno virge h8s not knowing whos coming to his wedding right]

Trash Rat 23:10

[I know, I know, I’ll apologise as soon as we get there. He’ll be first to meet my bf, promise.]

Roman 23:11

[book ur fuckin plane tckts ro, I know u didnt do it yet]

Trash Rat 23:11

Roman threw his phone across the room.

It bounced off of his Heathers poster and landed on his desk, which was covered in scripts, textbooks, empty takeout containers, balled up bits of paper, crumpled drinks cans, and pens, and Roman buried his face in his pillow and groaned.

Ten months ago, Roman’s sister had flown down to Los Angeles, dragged Roman out of bed and announced that he was actually Roman’s brother. Almost sooner than Roman had been able to take this in stride, Virgil had added that he was marrying his boyfriend in December and would Roman mind being one of his groomsmen? While Roman was still reeling from the bombshell that was the fact that their gremlin of an elder brother Remus was Virgil’s best man, Virgil had leaned forward and asked if Roman was doing alright because he couldn’t help but notice that his dorm room resembled ‘the result of an explosive going off in a pigsty’.

Roman had blinked dumbly at him, nodded, and then started pressing for details about Virgil’s wedding. Eventually, his brother had promised that he’d get Patton, his fiance, to call Roman to discuss every detail, from location to napkin frills, and Roman felt that he had managed to avoid the topic of how he was doing.

When he and Remy had first broken up, midway through last July, Roman had gone to pieces. He had spent the end of the summer holiday between his first and second years locked in his room and listening to the same few songs on loop until Virgil, who was three years older and had been packing his things to move into his new apartment, had put his fist through the wall between their rooms. Then Roman had put his headphones on. It wasn’t Virgil’s fault that he was too uncivilised to appreciate the wonders of ‘Michael In The Bathroom’, ‘Someone You Loved’, or ‘Impossible’, after all.

Then Roman had gone back to university, where he had tried to drown himself in reading for his degree, and instead ended up sleeping through lectures after all-night crying sessions. He had tried to submerge himself in his essays and instead ended up daydreaming about his ex-boyfriend in study sessions. He had tried to get involved in theatre productions, but every audition had gone sour, and he often ended up thinking about the few times he and Remy had met up over the previous year rather than learning his lines.

Everyone had said that long distance relationships would be hard, but Roman, the romantic fool that he was, had insisted that they could do it.

They couldn’t.

Eight months ago, nine months after the two of them had broken up, two months after Virgil had announced his wedding plans, Remus and his partner had flown into Los Angeles and tried to stage an intervention. This had involved Remus trying to seduce the campus security guard and almost getting reported to the police (Roman had always insisted that his mustache only made him look sketchy), followed by Janus sneaking past the pair of them and into the building. Remus had somehow managed to join him moments later, and the two of them had somehow made their way up to Roman’s floor without alerting anyone else of their presence.

Roman had been woken by a furious hammering at his bedroom door at a little after four in the morning, and had to wade through a mess of papers and laundry to find that the two of them had knocked on every single door on his corridor, unable to remember which was his. He had not been popular with his dormmates the next day.

Their intervention had involved sitting on Roman’s bed and sharing the leftover pizza that had been on Roman’s desk for the last three days, and telling him to wash the dirty clothes all over his floor. Then they had tried to persuade him to accompany them to a bar to hook him up with somebody, and Roman had quickly concluded that the pair was somewhat drunk.

He had vehemently refused, and when Janus had eventually rolled onto his back, dark hair dangling off the edge of the bed and onto the sticky patch of carpet that Roman had spilled soda on three weeks ago, he practically whined that Roman was being very difficult when all they were doing was trying to help him.

“Trying to help me? You’ve disturbed the people I live with at fuck-o’clock in the morning! I have class tomorrow!” Roman was sat at his desk chair, trying very hard to ignore the stack of textbooks he was supposed to have read and hadn’t.

Remus rested a hand on Janus’ hip to stop him from rolling off the bed, and raised a lazy eyebrow at him. “Cut the bullshit, little bro. We all know you haven’t been to class in… How long, Jan?”

“Two months, three weeks, and four days,” Janus sing-songed.

“How the fuck do you know that?” It sounded about right, anyway, and Roman had a feeling that if he denied it this would just take even longer. He spun around in his chair and picked up a pen from his desk. “It’s my business if I don’t go to class.”

“Called my sister. Jannie takes all your classes, you know…” There was the sound of shifting fabric, and when Roman glanced back, Janus was sitting up and tucked under Remus’ arm again, looking very much as though Remus had just placed him there.

“You’re right, Ro. It’s not my business if you’re not going to class.” One of Remus’ hands trailed slowly up and down Janus’ arm, so casually Roman could almost believe that his brother didn’t realise he was doing it. “But it is my business that my little brother isn’t taking care of himself anymore. You haven’t answered my calls since before winter break. You obviously haven’t been eating healthily - this pizza tastes like you fished it out of the garbage, by the way, and I would know - and you look as though you haven’t seen the sunlight since last July.”

The assessment wasn’t quite fair. Roman might have been skipping classes, but it wasn’t as though he had just been lying in his room and wasting away! “I went to the gym last week. And I auditioned for the musical in March. I’m fine, Remus! Can I go to bed now?”

“No! We’re going to a club!”

Janus had nodded enthusiastically at Remus’ words, then rested his head on his partner’s shoulder as Roman shook his head slowly. “I don’t want to go to a club. I want to go to bed. I have class tomorrow.”

“Nope.” Remus’ hand rose to tangle absently in Janus’ hair. “We’re going to a club, and you’re gonna find some hottie to fuck all the yearning for Remy right out of you. Then you’ll feel much better!”

“You’re pulling my ha-”

“Fuck no. We’re not doing that.” Roman pressed his palms into his eyes, then stood up and jerked his door open. “Can you go now?”

“Give me one good reason why you getting laid is a bad thing right now, Ro, and we’ll leave.” Roman had gotten as far as opening his mouth before Remus interrupted. “See? You can’t. You need to move on, man. Clinging to Remy is clearly unh-”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“-ealthy, and- What?”

Maybe it was because it was four in the morning. Maybe it was because Roman hadn’t been sleeping well anyway, and Remus had managed to step on the last of his fraying nerves. Maybe it was just because he wished it was true.

“I have a boyfriend,” Roman repeated, and felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the obvious shock on Janus’ usually impassive face. “Three months. Met just after term started. It’s pretty serious, actually.”

“Bullshit.” Remus looked half impressed.

Now it was irritation that flickered through Roman. Was it really so unbelievable that he could have found somebody else? “It’s not.”

“You fucked yet?”

“Remus…” There was a warning note in Janus’ voice, and Remus sighed.

“None of my business. Got it. Do we get to meet him?”

“He’s shy.”

“Which is another way of saying he doesn’t exist.”

“Asshole. It’s another way of saying that it’s four in the fucking morning and he’s asleep. You’ll meet him at the wedding, anyway - I’m going to ask him to be my plus one when Patton sends out the RSVP date.” The words had been out of his mouth before he had had time to regret them, and Roman had spent the last eight months trying to sidestep questions about his non-existent boyfriend.

He had later found out that Remus and Janus hadn’t really come down to see him. They had gone to Los Angeles to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary and decided they might drop in while in the area. (Just because they had eloped rather than holding a big party, Janus had commented idly, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate it).

But now it was December, and Roman was partner-less and running out of excuses. His lie had gotten out of control, and he had ended up asking Patton and Virgil to include his partner in the guest numbers. He had invented dates they had been on for his mother when she had asked, and he insisted that his boyfriend was shy and had practically no internet presence anyway, so knowing his name wouldn’t help anybody.

He could just say that the two of them had broken up and go home alone, of course.

But that would mean disrupting the meticulous wedding seating plan Virgil and Patton had been making for months.

Besides, Roman was fairly certain that nobody in his family really believed in his mystery boyfriend, and failure to produce one after months of insisting that they would meet… Well, he didn’t want to open himself to that sort of ridicule.

Of course, it didn’t look as though he had much choice.

He hadn’t managed to make many friends at college.

In his first year, Roman had spent a lot of time trying to keep on top of his schoolwork and working toward the various theatre productions the school had put on; all of his free time he had spent planning dates for when he and Remy finally visited one another, or else video calling his boyfriend. There simply hadn’t been time to make many friends during that.

His second year… Well, Remus had been right. He had spent most of his time in his room, eating junk food, watching sappy romance films, and missing Remy.

So far, he had spent his third year trying to bring his grades back up to something more respectable… And missing Remy.

He knew it was pathetic. It had been almost a year and a half since they had broken up, and he still missed being able to call someone to talk about nothing at all at two in the morning, missed planning extravagant dates, missed the feel of hands in his hair and lips on his.

At least his floor was cleaner than it had been last year. And he had eaten slightly less fast food this semester than the previous one.

Roman’s phone chimed again. With a frustrated groan, he made his way over to his desk.

[Looking forward to seeing you on Monday!!! <3 <3 <3 !!!]

Pops 23:25

Patton.

[Me too, Padre! I’ll bring some of that fudge from the shop you love!]

Roman 23:26

[eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <33333333 Can you get some of the currents+salt? Vee loved it last time + I want to surprise him]

Pops 23:26

[Will do. Looking forward to seeing you too!]

Roman 23:27

Patton would probably be the most understanding if Roman decided to come clean about his lying - but Patton was the worst secret keeper Roman had ever met. He and Virgil had been dating for almost three years, and in that time the thin voice actor had managed to spill every single plot twist in every single show he had watched or acted in. Roman had no doubt that Virgil would know that he was bringing home fudge within the next hour. If he admitted to Patton that he had been lying about having a date for the wedding, Roman would get Patton’s kind - if confused - reassurances, and half an hour later he would get the mixture of mockery and horrible pity that would come with the rest of his family finding out that he still wasn’t over Remy.

Roman let his phone slip through his fingers and land on his desk once more. Three days, and then he’d have to come clean - until then, he could just avoid thinking about it. Collecting the overflowing basket from the corner of the room (he had been putting off doing laundry for a while now), Roman left his room and headed toward the building’s basement laundry room. Term had finished last week and it was almost midnight - he doubted anybody would be down there now. Most people had probably already gone home, or were making the most of the free time to go out rather than spend it doing chores.

The light was off in the basement when he got there, so Roman left it that way as he loaded his clothing into one of the machines.

Moving around in the dark was far more of a Virgil move than a Roman one, but he couldn’t help himself. There was something comforting about the-

“Sweet fucking Shakespeare!” Roman’s hand flew up to cover his eyes as light burst through the small room, quickly followed by the strong smell of coffee.

“Sorry! I was unaware that there would be anybody in here.” As Roman dropped his hand, blinking owlishly in the sudden light, the newcomer made his way over to the machine on the far side of the room from him. “Most people prefer not to fumble around in the dark.”

Remus or Remy would have made some comment about how fumbling around in the dark could be quite fun really. Roman just shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

He had expected the other man to say something; instead, silence fell over the room, broken only by the sound of the powder tray being opened, filled, and closed again.

Roman didn’t mean to stare, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen the person in the room next to him only twice so far this term, and only knew his name because the mailroom was organised by room number rather than alphabetically, and the name Roman Prince was right next to Logan Ursa.

Logan looked more tired than he had on either of the other times Roman had seen him. There were deep bags under his eyes, the shadows almost deeper than Virgil’s had been at the height of his eyeliner experiments, and the black ponytail that hung halfway to his waist was missing, replaced with what could only be described as a thicket of tangled hair. It looked as though he had been outside even less than Roman had in the past few months: his skin was so pale it seemed to glow under the fluorescent laundry-room lights. There was a steaming mug and a thick book on the lid of the machine beside him, and Roman had the strong feeling that it wasn’t the first coffee Logan had had that evening.

The washing machine Logan had been loading began to rumble, and as the other student straightened up and picked up his book, Roman made himself duck back down to finish his own task.

He’d have to come back to collect his clothing later - Roman suddenly regretted deciding to get this done now, when it meant he would have to return at almost two in the morning, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

“Do you want me to leave the light on?” He was more trying to make conversation than anything else: Logan was perched on one of the machines in the corner, nose already buried in what Roman could now see was a heavy medical textbook.

“Obviously.”

Yeah, he probably should have guessed that.

Logan was still in the laundry room when Roman returned to collect his clothing two hours later. He was still sat on the same machine, although now he was speaking into his phone in what sounded like rapid Italian. (It definitely wasn’t Spanish: Roman was almost fluent in Spanish). (The languages were similar, but although he could guess at a few words, he had no idea what was going on). (Not that he was eavesdropping, of course). Logan’s hair was even messier than it had been before, and out of the corner of his eye Roman caught him jerking his free hand through it once or twice.

Roman pulled his now-warm and dry clothing from the machine and dumped it into his laundry basket, doing his best to ignore the way Logan was practically shouting behind him, but couldn’t stop himself from startling at the wordless, frustrated yell that came from the taller man a few minutes later. He was halfway to the door, but paused and glanced at Logan, who was stuffing his phone angrily into the oversized hoodie he was wearing.

“Everything okay over there?”

“Family stuff,” came the snappish response. Roman watched for a few seconds as Logan knelt in front of his own machine and began jerking clothing from it, folding pants as though he wished he were ripping them to pieces instead, then throwing several dark shirts over his shoulder and stalking over to one of the ironing stations.

“Pretty loud family stuff,” Roman commented, then wondered why he was bothering. It had been clear from his first meeting with Logan that the other student wasn’t there to make friends: Roman had been carrying a large cardboard box into his room the day he had moved in, and bumped into him in the hallway. Logan had looked him up and down, said something like, “Keep the volume down. I’m here to work,” and marched past him as though Roman were no more interesting than a hat stand.

Sure enough, Logan didn’t turn to face him, instead ironing a shirt in a manner that strongly hinted that he wanted to make it beg for mercy. “None of your business family stuff.”

“Are you-”

“None. Of your. Business.” This time, Logan actually did glance over his shoulder, and fixed Roman with a scowl that suggested that if he didn’t drop it, his face was going to be the next thing under the iron.

Roman left quickly. He had done his best to be friendly, and if Logan wasn’t interested, that was his problem. He didn’t seem like the sort of person Roman would really want to be friends with anyway.

Logan’s haggard expression lingered in his mind as he made his way back up to his dorm room and began stuffing his now-clean clothes into his wardrobe. He should probably start packing - his suitcase was sitting open and empty against one wall - but he had plenty of time.

Besides, he was exhausted.

Roman had changed into a pair of sweatpants and gotten into bed by the time he heard the door to the room next to his slam shut. Clearly, Logan was still annoyed by whatever ‘family stuff’ had had him first yelling into his phone and then taking his frustration out on his laundry and somebody trying to be friendly.

How long could Logan hold a grudge? Was he the kind of person who would calm down after a couple of hours of sleep, or would whatever he had been arguing about be hanging over him for the next week or so? That would make the winter break uncomfortable…

Or maybe he wasn’t going home. He had looked pretty invested in the textbook he had been studying earlier, despite it being almost midnight and no longer termtime. Maybe Logan was going to stay in the dorms over the winter break and use the hours without lectures for private study.

That sounded like a lonely way to spend the next three weeks.

The idea struck Roman suddenly, and he sat bolt upright in bed, the kind of elation that only comes with golden inspiration coursing through him. He would persuade Logan to come back home with him for the holidays! If Janus took it to mind to ask Janine about him, she’d be able to verify that Logan didn’t socialise much; all he would have to do would be show up briefly for the wedding, and he could spend the remainder of the holiday studying all he wanted, away from ‘family stuff’!

He would ask Logan the following morning, and when he agreed, Roman would book the plane tickets home - he’d pay, of course. Or rather, he’d use the money his mother had sent him so that he could bring his fictional boyfriend home. Either way, Logan wouldn’t have to spend any money himself!

Laying back down, Roman pulled his thin blanket back up to his neck and rolled onto his side, satisfaction warming him more thoroughly than any hot drink could.

This was the best idea he’d ever had.

“That is the worst idea I have ever heard.” Logan glanced into the hallway over Roman’s shoulder as though expecting an audience for a practical joke. “I cannot believe you have wasted my time listening to you.”

“Is… That a maybe?” Roman tilted his head and gave Logan his best puppy eyes.

Alas, Logan’s heart must have been made of stone. “No.” He made to slam the door.

Well, Roman couldn’t have that. It had been difficult enough to get Logan to even open the door in the first place, and harder still to get him to listen beyond the initial “I need you to do me a huge favour, okay, but it works out for you too.” In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have led with that. But then he had explained, and for some reason Logan was still trying to close the door on him.

“Ow!”

“That was entirely your fault.”

“You just slammed the door on my foot!”

“You did put your foot there after I had begun closing the door. My point stands.”

Technically, Logan was correct, but Roman wasn’t there to quibble over technicalities. “You got the part where I’d pay for your flights, right? All you have to do is show up for one day in something resembling formalwear, and in return you get rent free accommodation and food all holiday! Plus company!”

“I have too much to do to pretend to be your boyfriend for three weeks for no reason. Find somebody else.” Logan made to close the door again, and this time Roman caught it with his hand.

“There is nobody else!” Roman was aware that he was beginning to sound desperate. “You’re like, the only person I know!”

“That sounds like your personal problem, not mine.” Several strands of hair had fallen from the impressive tangle around Logan’s ears and into his face, and he blew them out of the way. His breath smelled like coffee - bitter coffee. Roman wrinkled his nose. “Let go of my door.”

“Come on, Logan! What else are you going to be doing this holiday?”

“Studying! I have exams to pass!”

“You can study at my place. You won’t have to pay holiday rent there!”

“I won’t have to pay holiday rent if I go to my mom’s place, either! Let go of my door!”

Roman finally pulled his aching foot out of the way, but didn’t remove his hand from the wood. “You don’t want to go back to your mom’s place, though, do you? The phonecall -”

The glare that Logan sent him could have frozen the insides of a volcano, and his voice was suddenly cold enough to make Roman shiver. “Good day, Roman.” This time, Roman jerked his hand out of the way, and the door snapped shut in his face.

Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to use Logan’s ‘family stuff’ against him. He made a note of that for future reference, then hammered against the door again.

“Please, Logan!”

Silence.

“I’ll be forever in your debt!”

More silence. Maybe Logan would prefer something a little more extravagant?

“I’ll sing of your virtues from the rooftop every night for the rest of the year!”

Nothing.

Okay, maybe that had been a little much. Logan had made it clear that he was there to work and didn’t want to be disturbed in his caffeine fueled study crusades, so something excessive was possibly the wrong way to persuade him to do this.

Oh-

“I’ll pay for your coffee for the rest of the year?”

Roman held his breath and waited.

And waited.

Just when he thought that he had been wrong and that Logan really wasn’t going to be persuaded, the door opened the tiniest of amounts. Logan was still frowning at him, but some of the ice was gone from his expression.

“That’s your dealbreaker? Coffee?”

“I drink a lot of coffee.” A slight deepening in the crease between Logan’s eyes told Roman not to push the subject. “You need a date to a wedding. In return, you pay for my flight there and back, provide accommodation for the duration of the winter vacation, and keep me supplied with coffee for the rest of the year.”

“Well, a wedding, the reception, any pre-wedding parties, and keeping up the act while we’re around other people,” Roman corrected, counting on his fingers. From the irritated twitch of Logan’s left eye, he got the feeling that he hadn’t mentioned the reception or the potential stag night in his initial pitch.

“Blue Moon or Red Planet.”

“What?”

“The coffee. I like Blue Moon or Red Planet coffee. They’re more expensive, so I don’t expect them every time - maybe a ratio of three regular jars to one nice jar.”

Roman blinked. “Uh… Okay.”

Logan nodded once. More hair fell over his eyes. “I’ll draw up a schedule and provide you with estimated projections of my coffee habits for the rest of the year so you can budget accordingly. When do we leave?”

“Um… Monday.” Still reeling from Logan’s sudden and complete 180, Roman cast around for something to say, but the long haired man got there first.

“Monday. That gives us approximately two and a half days to draw boundaries and fabricate enough pictures and stories to give our deceit credibility.” Logan closed his eyes, and Roman realised that he was staring again. He hadn’t expected the other to take this in stride so quickly. “Given that I have work to finish today and you will likely need several hours on Sunday evening to pack… Have you told your family how long we have been romantically involved?”

“Uh, since January. But I told them you were shy, so we don’t have to have any pictures or anything - we can say that all our dates were just pizza and Netflix, and…” He tailed off at the incredulous look on Logan’s face. “What?”

“You expect them to believe that we have been dating for eleven months and you haven’t taken a single photo? Roman, I have listened to you belting the lyrics of more break-up songs than I care to count.” Roman shrugged, and Logan rolled his eyes. “You are quite clearly a romantic. Had we really been dating, the number of pictures you would have taken on whatever extravagance you planned for our six-month anniversary alone would be infinitesimal.”

He had a point.

Roman had already stretched his family’s belief in him to breaking point (and probably well past it) by refusing to share even the smallest thing about his ‘boyfriend’ over the past eleven months; if he didn’t get home on Monday with at least a couple of dozen photos to share, their charade would be over before it could ever really begin. “Right. You’re right. We’ll need to spend the weekend planning, doing a photoshoot - it’ll be fun!”

“You,” Logan started, already retreating, “obviously have a different definition of that word than I do. Eight thirty tomorrow morning, The Roost. Bring a notepad, your phone, and a couple of changes of clothing suitable for various weather conditions.”

“Eight thirty? A prince needs his beauty-”

“Eight thirty. We are going to do this properly.”

Roman’s phone was in his hand barely seconds after Logan’s door had closed (albeit more gently than before).

Groupchat: Princes and Co.

[Can’t wait for you to meet logan!]

Roman 09:58

[a name!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[we have a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Trash Rat 09:59

[such a nice name! can’t wait either, ro!]

Pops 10:01

[About time! I’ve been stalling on the place settings for weeks waiting for this name]

Emo Nightmare 10:02

[Was about to fly out to LA to strangle it out of you]

Emo Nightmare 10:04

[he was. i had to physically restrain him from doing so yesterday]

Padre 10:04

[bet u both enjoyed that ;);););););)]

Trash Rat 10:04

Several people are typing…

[Suck a dick, Remus]

Emo Nightmare 10:05

[we did, actually]

Pops 10:05

[would but janjans at work :((]

Trash Rat 10:06

[Didn’t want to know, didn’t need to know.]

Roman 10:06

[Pat!]

Emo Nightmare 10:06

[Logan Ursa??? 4th yr medic??? Coffee addict???]

Snake Eyes 10:06

Roman stared at his phone for a second. That was faster than he had expected.

[u knew????? jan u held out on me??? the luv of ur greyspec life???]

Trash Rat 10:07

[You told Janus?! I’m your brother! He’s not even related to you!]

Emo Nightmare 10:07

[No I didn’t tell Janus!]

Roman 10:07

[I’m omniscient.]

Snake Eyes 10:08

[Plus I just asked Jannie for a list of all the Logans you could have associated with.]

Snake Eyes 10:09

[You and your sister scare me]

Roman 10:11

[He has surprisingly little internet presence.]

Snake Eyes 10:11

[Told you. He’s shy]

Roman 10:12

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Roman returned to his room and picked up his laptop, this time to actually book the tickets he was supposed to have booked weeks ago. He had no doubt that they would arrive on Monday to discover that his family had already unearthed everything there was to know about his fake boyfriend - should he break that news to Logan before or after they were on the plane? Making the man paranoid might make their weekend photoshoot a lot more difficult.

Their photoshoot! If Logan was really on board, Roman would have to make this as easy as possible for him - and the performance of a lifetime for himself. Given that he was expected to bring a notebook to their meeting tomorrow, they were going to have to do a lot of brainstorming, so he might as well start coming up with ideas now. He already had a few as he grabbed a notepad from the mess on the floor and started hunting for a pencil.

No matter what his fake date said, this weekend was going to be a lot of fun.

#AUgust 2021 #fake dating au #logince #moxiety #dukeceit

33 notes · View notes

thepoodlepack · 3 years

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What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.

#long post #anti doodle #text #my post #yes this took me like an hour #yes i do hate myself for it #Anonymous #oh anon im being grumpy mostly for comedy thats only funny to me #you're fine as long as you werent trying to bait me

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iwillsinkwithmyships · 4 years

Text

Beautiful Boy, Bathed in Disaster

As he laid dying in a Siberian bunker Tony Stark thinks about betrayals and broken promises. Left behind and half-dead he is faced with his worst nightmare.

Notes: This was literally written in hours, which is insane because usually I take forever to finish even a one shot. But this just flowed! The title comes from the song "In Loving Memory" by Chester Lockhart which played in repeat while I wrote this. I recommend you listen to it as you read it as well lol

There is a slight canon divergence as in my story, Pepper and Tony broke up after Iron Man 3 and Tony and Steve get together a little after Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Borrowed some quotes from other Avengers works, such as comics and AA

AO3 Link

"Mr. Stark."

"Captain."

"Is everything a joke to you?"

"Funny things are."

"Big man in a suit of armor... take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."

"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for is yourself. You are not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

"I think I would just cut the wire."

"Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

"A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle."

"What the hell! What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."

"We won."

"Oh, alright, yay! Alright, good job guys! Uh, let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. You ever try shawarma? There is a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it."

"We are not finished yet."

"And then shawarma after?"

"Oh really you two knew each other? He never mentioned that...maybe only a thousand times. God, I hated you."

"Sometimes I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth, but I don't want to see you gone. We need you Cap."

"Winghead"

"Shellhead"

"You are walking a little funny Steve, next time you should establish a safe word." . . . "You are walking a little funny Tony, what was that you were saying about a safe word?"

"Hilarious."

"Wait a second, no one else gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said 'language'?"

"I know...It just slipped out."

"We'll lose."

"Then we'll do that together too."

"Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things."

"I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned."

"Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet."

"How can you possibly hope to stop me?"

"Well, like the old man said: together."

"No way we all make it through this."

"I got no plans tomorrow night."

"I will miss you Tony"

"Tony, when I woke up on this era, I had no one. Nothing. You gave me a purpose, somewhere to belong...You gave me a home."

"You wanna survive you gotta change with the times."

"Spend a few decades frozen in ice, then we can talk about survival."

"Just say it, say 'Tony I'm afraid of new tech!' admitting you have a problem is always the first step."

"Gosh Mr. Big Brain, your modern tech is so gol-darn confusing. How does this contraption turn water into coffee? Is it coal power or is it a miracle?"

"Hmm, sarcasm must be a modern invention, because when you do it, it just sounds wrong."

"But, with my armor gone, all I can do is improvise. Steve, even without your shield, you're still captain America. Without my armor I'm just ..."

"Tony Stark, THE Tony Stark, billionaire, genius, you are probably one of the three smartest men in the entire world. You are as tough as they come, you invented hardcore. The avengers are lucky you are on our side."

"Really? you know two people smarter than me?"

"Can't you just take a compliment."

"I am not half as good at - at anything as I am when I'm doing it next to you. And that's the truth."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Good morning Beloved. Did anyone check the dumpster for Clint yet?"

"Funny you should ask that..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm worried about you, if you don't get some sleep..."

"I slept for 70 years - "

"Yeah, you've used that line before."

"Leave me alone. I am a senior citizen."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"He's my friend."

"So was I."

"Did you know?"

"I wasn't sure it was him--"

"Don't bullshit me Rogers! Did. You. Know?"

"Yes."

Images and memories flashed through Tony's mind as he laid on the cold floor of the abandoned Hydra base. The Siberian cold penetrating his suit as his mind raced.

Steve had known the truth about his parents' death for years. He'd known when they fought Ultron. He'd known when he gave Tony shit about keeping secrets, the fucking hypocrite. He'd known over a year ago, he'd known when he leaned over the table to kiss Tony. He'd known when they tumbled into bed that same night. He'd known for the rest of their relationship, even when he whispered "I love you" late at night and when Tony had said it right back.

He'd known.

And now all Tony was left with was a broken suit and an abandoned shield.

Tears fell out of his eyes as he fell back to the floor. Steve had left. He'd taken Barnes and walked right out, without sparing a second thought for Tony. After he and Pepper had broken up Tony had resigned himself to being alone for the rest of his life. Then Steve had kissed him and all of the sudden Tony had been in love again. They'd still fought but Tony had learned to see Steve's side of things and to explain his side of things to Steve. Tony had been sure that this was it. He'd fallen hard and fast for Steve.

"Well that shows you, huh Stark."

-----

Some time later, Tony's eyes startled open as he realized that he had no way out of that bunker.

-----

The temperature kept dropping, and Tony had long given up hope of a rescue.

"Well Yinsen, it looks like I did waste my life after all... I'm sorry."

Tony closed his eyes.

-----

When Tony came to again, everything was still cold and painful. He tried to move, but the suit was frozen and still dead, quiet honestly, Tony didn't know how he was still alive.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the bunker, and Tony blinked trying to place the sound. Had FRIDAY alerted Vision?

A few minutes later two slender figures walked towards him.

"Father," he didn't recognize the breathy feminine voice that rang out, "We've found him. We've got Stark."

"He looks half dead. Should we put him out of his misery?" Another woman said, her voice a lot more confident. The two figures walked closer, and Tony struggle to keep his eyes open. There was no way he could defend himself.

"Patience daughter, I have plans for Stark." A deep voice responded. The two women walked into the sliver of light that managed to get into his cold dark tomb. He finally laid eyes on them and his breathing grew harsher. The two women were not...human. They were humanoid, but one of them was blue, and her body was littered with mechanic enhancements, the other was completely green with deep burgundy hair. The two of them exuded murderous vibes. The kind that Tony usually only got from Natasha and Pepper. He drew in a harsh breath and tried once more to get up from the cold floor he'd been planing to die in.

"Such fighting spirit. It's a pity that humanity does not appreciate you Anthony Stark." An imposing figure approached from the shadows. He was huge, probably bigger than the hulk himself. "I have waited a long time to meet you Stark."

"Yo...u..... kno...w....m...e?" he managed to croak out.

"I do, you are not the only one cursed with knowledge."

"..w- wh..who...?" Tony could barely keep conscious. He was still on the verge of death, and aliens invading earth was literally his worst nightmare. A new voice rang out and a squid looking figure joined the others.

"Rejoice, you will have the privilege of being saved by The Great Titan, Thanos."

"Wh...wh.." Tony gasped for breath, "...why...?"

"I have come for you Stark. Earth's Greatest Defender. When I first enslaved the Asgardian, I thought his task a simple one. After all this planet is quite primitive compared to others we've conquered before. Yet, you and your team managed to defeat my army." The titan walked closer to him, "Imagine my surprise at realizing that it hadn't been your Asgardian ally who'd laid waste to my ships and army, but a simple human. Fascinating. After that it was difficult not to pay attention. Time and time again, you defend it, and this is your reward" The titan waved a hand towards the pathetic picture Tony painted.

"G..go..f..fuh..Fuck...yo...yours...self." Thanos smiled and waved a hand to those behind him.

"Give him a blood transfusion, The Accuser should have provided enough, and make sure he survives. Once he's no longer on the brink of death, bring him to me."

---------------------

Tony had passed out after his encounter with Thanos and when he'd woken up he was being moved. The pain had dulled down, most likely a result of the forced blood transfusion. He'd shuddered as he thought about it. Once more a victim of nonconsensual body modifications.

This nightmare just kept getting worse.

He was laid on a hard surface and bound. The genius took a moment to analyze his current situation, he seemed to be in some sort of medical room, there were holograms displaying what he assumed to be his own vitals. The technology seemed advanced and otherworldly so he took this to mean that he'd somehow made it into the ship. What was this Thanos actually doing here? Where they still on Earth? Was Earth under attack?

That final thought made him pull at his restrains, he immediately slumped back in the bed his body still felt like he'd been run over by a bus.

'or two super-soldiers'

Tony closed his eyes as the entire fight replayed in his mind. God he'd been so fucking stupid. And now here he was trapped by some crazy alien bent on conquering earth. Who would protect Earth now? Rogers and Barnes were definitely on the wind now. About half of the team were sitting in Ross's super secret prison. He hoped Vision runs and hides that damn stone. God knows were Natasha was hiding.

And Rhodey. Rhodey was in no condition to fight.

The door to the room he was currently trapped in opened and in walked the mad titan himself, accompanied by his two daughters? Who looked nothing like him.

"Stark, you are awake."

"Where am I? What do you want? You better stay away from Earth or I swe-"

"Don't worry, the time will come but there is much to do before I return for Earth's salvation." Tony's jaw clenched as he watched the purple maniac approach him. "Like I said, I am here for you Stark."

"What do you want from me? From the looks of this ship, you have no need for my tech much less my money, so what do you want? Weapons? I'll die before I ever create another weapon of mass destruction!" The titan simply smiled and sat beside him. His two deadly looking daughters stood guard by the door.

"I am here to offer you a place in my order, as my son and perhaps my heir." Tony stared incredulously and glanced at the other two in the room and saw their shocked expressions. So he hadn't shared his plans for Tony with them.

"Excuse me?!"

"I admire your bravery and tenacity Anthony, you would do well in my order and when I have achieved perfect balance in this entire universe I wish to retire, but I must leave someone in charge. I think you would do well."

"You are out of your mind." the brunette gritted out.

"You could help me save this entire universe from itself, and then you would be the most powerful man in the universe. Join us Stark"

"Never. I can't believe you thought that I'd say yes to this."

"You and I are quite similar you know. I too was called mad for trying to protect my planet. I tried to save my planet and our people, I was ignored, and the entire planet perished. Are you not tired Anthony? Of trying to save a planet that doesn't want to be saved?" The ache in Tony's chest grew and he continued to glare at Thanos.

"Never." Thanos let out a disappointed sigh and got back on his feet.

"I had hoped you would see reason," he walked towards the medical equipment in the room, "perhaps a little reminder of what Earth has repaid your loyalty with will help."

Tony couldn't help his scream at the pain his head was under. As he trashed he thought he saw pitying looks come from the two women by the door.

Everything went dark.

His father sitting him down at 8 years-old and handing him a glass of whiskey. The start of his alcohol problems.

His father handing him hot tools despite his bare hands. The reason he doesn't like being handed things.

Tiberius Stone.

The Cave. The open hear surgery without anesthesia. The waterboarding. Yinsen.

"When I ordered the hit on you, I worried that I was killing the golden goose. But you see, it was just fate that you survived that, you had one last golden egg to give."

The Palladium poisoning. The fight with Rhodey. Rhodey taking off with his suit.

The helicarrier fight.

Extremis. Maya. Aldrich. AIM.

His break up with Pepper.

Ultron. Thor lifting him by the neck, as everyone watched and did nothing to stop him.

A video of the winter soldier killing his parents. Steve's betrayal.

Steve walking out on him with Barnes in his arms and dropping the shield.

"Tell me my child, do you wish to forget? To bury all this pain and suffering. All the betrayal and abandonment?" . . . . . . . .

"Yes."

#My fic #My writing #steve x tony #stony #captain america civil war #CA:CW #AU #Canon AU #steve rogers x tony stark #stevetony

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pestopascal · 4 years

Note

how would you rate the films of his you've watched so far

out of the ones i’ve watched so far, which is few:

kingsman golden circle: absolutely no rights. made him a secondary villain AND killed him. they could’ve had all the rights with the whip and lasso and the fingers and the yeehaw but they ruined it at the end. michael brian rawlins was the guy who did the lasso scenes i think mostly (like the jumping through the lasso one in the bar) and im rly glad pedro like. named him and was like “go look him up”. i cannae watch properly without getting disproportionately embarrassed. ok i lie i will give it some rights just because of the yeehaw but know that i definitely feel it deserves no rights. also its so funny if you google this movie sometimes you get results that ask if burt reynolds is in the film. 3/5

prospect: i loooooooove this film!!!!!!!!!!!! so so so so much. it’s exactly the kind of vibe in space movies i love. reminded me a lil of interstellar, which is so near and dear to my heart, but god. god!! out of all the ones ive watched so far this is one of my favourites of his. i really hope there’s a sequel or a novel or something expanding the universe of this. ive watched it repeatedly for the last few days honestly its. im a slut for space related things what can i say. just the whole vibe of the planet and the suits and the 70s/80s kind of tech and the instrumentals just. i love that so much. 5/5

equaliser 2: one right for giving him a wife and kids and having him actually interact with them. no other rights because once again he’s a villain and dies and the typecasting is so fucking real. also i thought this was honestly pretty boring like idk what i was expecting im sure if i went into it without the intent to simply like. watch pedro pascal. i could’ve enjoyed more (or watched the first one idk idc). i feel like i spent a year watching this one like i only made it through in like 10min blocks. i seriously dont know what the plot actually was at the end. do not ASK me about it i only remember pedros character (DAVE????? WHAT WAS HIS NAME) joking with his kid that you cant call it ‘new hamster’ and eventually relenting. 1/5 rights

triple frontier: it took me three days to watch this one and bee can attest to it. i feel like theres an entire half hour of absolute mania we never see to explain why they flipped on their morals from no kill/no killing kids to mow them down (they didnt btw! benny was the voice of reason god bless him). it was kind of laughable and you can poke holes in the plot and also ben “i have one emotion and its smoking.jpg” affleck was to blame for literally everything. pedro’s character catfish thankfully didnt die so this movie has like one whole right for that, half a right for giving him a baby back home :(( i only watched it for that rly soft voice he does, and how he fucking laid into everyone, aviators, and the “alright baby alright baby come on now”. if there was a sequel tho i wouldn’t be mad about watching bc im glad it stayed on oscar isaac’s pov character. like 1.5/5 for rights

i wanna watch if beale street could talk bc its by barry jenkins who did moonlight, great wall bc ig why not and also did u kno he has a figure bc of that movie, and if i find anything else ig i will but im not gonna go years back its okay.

#anonymous #replies #sry i forgot to reply before getting my lashes done but anyway #here u go

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 8 - Meat Page 41

==>

Okay, Dirk’s gonna monologue about, like... acknowledging his villainy without realizing it I guess?

And if I didn’t bother pursuing those goals, and thereby tacitly accepting the untold suffering that resulted from my inaction, wouldn’t that make me a bad person? If I try and succeed, I’m a hero, right? And if I try and fail, at least I made things interesting on my way to the grave. There would be a tragic nobility in that. And the way I see it, settling for anything less from my arc would be, frankly, pathetic.

So yeah, of course I know I “have to be stopped.” It’s part of the contract. What you sign up for when you assume the burdens of this sort of power. Where there is that which must be subdued and suborned for the greater good, there is that which will instinctively resist. That which intuits that whatever’s going on here is “wrong.” Otherwise, intervention wouldn’t even be necessary, would it?

Yeah, the Heroic and Just death parameters I outlined in the Ultimate Riddle post pretty clearly line up here that he’s fucking shit over in a way he refuses to truly believe is going to end up in his Just demise even if he knows it on some level. Fucking over everyone’s wills like that? Fuck you.

Only worthless people permit themselves the great luxury of a valorous sacrifice.

JUST. FUCKING. DEATH.

Mhmm, he knows he’s going to get fucking owned. Just a little sooner than he thought, I’d reckon.

...geez, I’m going to forget to fucking EAT again today if this epilogue goes on much longer. Maybe I’ll have to blog the Candy part, like, tomorrow or something. If I can convince myself to SLEEP instead of reading more, that is.

==>

Thank God all the manipulation is reversing itself. Keep playing into it and letting it happen you pompous ass, Dirk, it was inevitable.

Couldn’t pay me to be in that room right now. Not for all the agency in the world.

Yeah, agency is the word. Dirk is aiming for infinite agency at the expense of everyone else’s. His God-Tier powers crush others’ individuality and let him puppeteer them instead, and it’s what he’s been using all along to manipulate the situation in this story.

they will know what to do, when they are ready.

On the one hand, thanks alt!Callie. On the other, seriously fuck you alt!Callie for taking Jade out of the story AAAAGAAAAAIN. D:<

neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore, so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.

Um, that was phrased ominously potentially.

huddled on the floor, she repeats this pledge to herself. theoretically, he could be stopped before he leaves, if they hurried. they would need to know what to do, where to go, and to have the motivation to do it, but time is short. i could push them to, with a certain degree of intervention, but i will not. my unwillingness to do so is what separates me from him. and what corporeal life needs now is someone presiding over them who is nothing like him at all.

FUCK YES, PRESERVE THE WILL OF THE CHARACTERS INSTEAD OF TURNING IT ALL INTO YOUR OWN FANFIC YOU BEAUTIFUL CHERUB

Also, thought that occurred to me at the end of this page... did Dirk potentially arrange John’s death here to keep his retcon powers from being able to stop him?

==>

Epilogue Eight

Okay I’m churning through this all pretty quickly now that there isn’t a bunch of hyperdense prose in the way. Excellent conversation between characters, furthering the plot along while engaging in very understandable hilarity.

KARKAT: TELL HER TO REGISTER MY HEAVING BULGE AS A PRIORITY!!!!!

Wonk

I don’t THINK I’m reading this any faster than usual, but it FEELS like I am? Maybe because of the format, or maybe I really AM reading it faster to get to Dirk’s fucking comeuppance as fast as goddamn possible.

Pfff, cosplaying as Dave.

KARKAT: WOW! THE WOKEMASTER IS ON FUCKING FIRE FOLKS! HE’LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!!!

I love this whole conversation

ROXY: awwwwwww ROXY: u boys cute :)

Alright, Jane doesn’t kno-- wait, you’re not looping her in on this? I thought she’d join in and get, like, a redemptive character arc. Oh well, lesstimespentonthatthebetterhurryupandkickDirk’sass

Wait, so Roxy didn’t know John wasn’t coming back? Calliope did though???

Is the only reason Dirk took Terezi along to keep her from giving them info, or... no, he said MORE of them would eventually come, what the fuck is he even planning?

they will believe they are on a quest to retrieve a wife and rescue a friend. but they will discover their true mission is of much greater cosmic significance than they imagined. the seer is firmly in the thrall of the prince and will not easily be pried away. and as regards the heir, though resuscitation remains a theoretical possibility for those still striving for it, the truth of his role is it has reached a greater sense of narrative finality than any of his allies will bring themselves to admit. his influence over canon has come to an end, as has this particular story. his ultimate sacrifice was made to put the missing keystone in place and avert the supreme dissipation of all that shall be considered to hold truth, relevance, and essentiality.

...Huh.

Okay, so they MIGHT have to accidentally create Paradox Space, and regardless by stopping Dirk they’ll be guaranteeing agency as a right to those who live both within and without the confines of... whatever existence even is anymore.

......This ship chase through Paradox Space of cosmic significance sounds disturbingly familiar to old pictures I used to verbally paint about the endgame, and I refuse to think about that idea further.

And we’re returning to black text, from the sound of what alt!Callie is saying. Let’s do that.

==>

POSTSCRIPT?!?????

POSTSCRIPT? P O S T S C R I P T?!??!?!??!?!??

IS THIS FUCKING OVER OR SOMETHING? IS THIS NOT GETTING RESOLVED WHAT THE FLYING FUCK AAA OKAY CALM DOWN CALM DOWN BOOTS AND READ

fuck my stomach’s clenching up again oh god

artillery what the fuck

aradia okay

WWWWHAT THE FUCK SIXTEEN YEAR OLD JADE WHAT

JADE FROM THE BLACK HOLE GOT SPIT OUT HERE OR

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON HERE BLACK EYES AND SHE’S A MURDER MACHINE OKAY WHAT

WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT WHY IS AN ANGSTY DARKJADE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE ALTCALLIE CONTROLLED DOING FLASHY BULLSHIT

“no being has ever commanded before” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEA-- OH SHIT IS IT LIKE BLACK HOLE ABILITIES

LIKE, FUCKING, BLACK HOLE INSTEAD OF THE GREEN SUN ABILITIES NOW TIED TO HER AND SHES BEEN CONTROLLED BY ALT!CALLIE LONG ENOUGH TO GET HERE OR WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO JADE YOU FUCKING STORY GET OUT OF HERE

davebot. why a davebot? davebot.

I’m feeling fucking sick. Okay what’s about to happen.

Okay so this Dave is like from some other timeline split and got botsaved or something sure whatever

okay some of the others are going off into this... “OTHER UNIVERSE???” too???? or other paradox space or some fucking bullshit???

also scrolling up i missed “Jade was sixteen years old when she showed up, and she doesn’t look a day older now, though many hundreds of days have passed” o kay are these ghosts???

Oh FUCK I CAN BREATHE

i can breathe again

fuck, these are like

im guessing these are... other ghosts or former-ghosts or basically everyone that huddled into the black hole, and aradias there because of course or something, this isnt dirk having won and reached his place or whatever

this is the jade alt who fell into the black hole and must have died hence her perpetually-young look, and now that shes in the black hole she has access to black hole powers

REAL JADE is FUCKING FINE

breathe boots breathe god damnit

okay reading, uh

a-all the action that matters f fuck i dsee the end of the page what thej fuck s how oculd it enduhyere kanaya has an enddless chase for her ff-fucking wife or while she’s being mind-raped by dirk orasdf jklfdk adn dshes gonan be in a stupdi metal body or

im really

really gonna need that candy after this

reading that last few paragraphs SHIT

yeah aradias going to go where all the exciting shit is happening in this new... black... hole... adox space or whatever, or wherever this is or

Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

And... that’s the final line between Canon and Non-Canon. Or whatever terms.

Andrew’s done. The story’s done. Everything else about their journey is for the imagination alone. Did they save Rose from Dirk taking her through a portal or whatever to whichever Dirkverse he was conjuring up or whatever theory bullshit i REALLY DONT WANT TO THINK OF OR THEORIZE ABOUT EVEN EVER about what the fuck dirk was trying to pull with all this SHHHHITT!!!!!!!??//?

I... christ. I need that Candy section. And I need a drink. Fuck this I was gonna break for dinner but I’m continuing once I get a beer. I’m sweating and unhappy. Like I should be after eating this many pages of raw meat, shouldn’t I?

Next post will be Candy 1 once I confirm that there’s nothing else I’m missing, no other part of this portion to save me from wanting to vomit in an entirely anxious and non-beer-related way.

Fuck.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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boojersey · 5 years

Note

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox

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oceanbreaks · 6 years

Text

they call me an ugly white man’s whore … but HE KINDA CUTE Ok , even tho my friend said he looks like ned from horton hears a who and i can’t stop thinking about it … ANYWAYS ! tl;dr is below but a right mess , so apologies in advance . also wanted connections for ALL THREE OF MY CHARAS ! pls feel free to come and plot with me i want plots with every single one of y’all ‘cos im Greedy:tm: , alternatively , like this post and i’ll come to you !

⋆ ◦ ° ☾ paddy considine + male + he/him — have you met ethan rylance? they are a forty three year old known around town as the entangled. they’ve been in the gang life for seven years, and currently work for the savages as a medic. they are a bisexual virgo, which means they are steadfast + tender, as well as reticent + weary. annotated articles, the crunch of leaves under chelsea boots, reluctant acceptance . × tasha. twenty. she/her. est. ×

⁃ [ mconahey hey hey vc ] alright , alright , alright … this bitch never knew his father ! probably for the best, but surprise he was off in valdez up to no good, him and his dearest ma were in the city of stars ( angels ? ) LA ! his mother was an aspiring actress who never made it, but did her best to support him all the same . it made him kinda v independent , with a lot of time to himself which he spent mostly in nature b/c la has some rly nice hiking trails omg

⁃ suffers from ptsd stemming from a car accident he was in when he was like sixteen, resulting in the death of his step-dad and a rly bad stammer that he went to therapy for .

⁃ mr. ethan was always curious abt his but his mom was adamant on telling him anything until he was eighteen . when he turned eighteen , his mom was like ye he’s in valdez i don’t talk to him but like do what u will with that info !

⁃ he takes a trip down to valdez to discover his dearest daddy is just bumming around total deadbeat… Sad but ethan so very longing for that father figure keeps in touch, and gets to know him and for the most part rly likes him . discovers he has an alcohol abuse problem , most likely stemming from ptsd from vietnam .

⁃ anyhaps he doesn’t stay in valdez b/c he’s like nah .. not my scene lmao , but goes to school a couple states over in arizona , so he can be close to his momther and father … aw , but closer to mom cos she’s more Valid but he keeps in regular contact with his father and tries to see him at least once a year

⁃ he studies psychology and loves it , loves school , becomes a counselling psychologist specifically for those with ptsd ( but also has the right requisites for like psychiatry cos he took bio or whatever life sci requisite u need idk )

⁃ ok bare with me cos im not even sure on the details, but in the span of him first meeting his pops and now , dad ends up in jail ( he owed money to the savages, so did a job to pay it off which included a home invasion with several other ppl in which one person died, even tho he wasn’t the one who shot him , he took the fall cos he was pretty expendable considering he wasn’t actually part of the gang ) , ethan offers to help with costs of legal advice and his sentence is reduced to like ten years

⁃ n his dad is like hey im out ! come chill xd and ethan’s like ok !! and he comes and it turns out his dad’s been out of jail for like six months and has already amounted a debt against him so he’s doing jobs for the savages again ? and is like lol wanna help ,, , and a 35 year old ethan still vying for his father’s acceptance is like ok .. . ig

⁃ so he delivers some drugs ( his dad comes up with some bs excuse like the ppl he’s meant to deliver to will recognize him n beat him up or something ) but apparently it was the savages set up to kill his pops 1) b/c he’s a general nuisance and 2) so he wouldn’t speak out against them regarding the home invasion as he’d been trying to get outside law help to prove his innocence even tho it never amounted to anything

⁃ so instead ethan gets brutally beat up instead and nearly killedt until the assassin or whoever is like .. . im p sure the target’s meant to be older ghjfkfgh ( this wouldn’t be like assassin incompetence they were prolly just told kill the guy who shows up with the drugs xoxo ) the ptsd is NOT thriving ...

⁃ as soon as he’s out of the hospital ethan goes stupidly all high and mighty to the savages hq being like wtf is up kyle , and they’re basically like, if u wanna protect ur dad u gon have to stick around in valdez and mr. deadbeat dad over this is putting on the puppy eyes like pls dont let me die lol and reluctantly he’s like aight fam i got u

⁃ SO NOW HIS DAD’S JUST LIKE A 60 YEAR OLD SOD deadbeating around valdez basically trapping him and which rly shows his father’s true colours ( also did he kno that ethan cld’ve gotten killed .. maybe so ) and yet the amount of reverence ethan still holds for him is .. Crackhead level

⁃ honestly it’s been ten years and doesn’t know if the threat still stands but valdez has kinda been ingrained in him at this point and although he wants to leave he can’t bring himself to , it’s also why he doesn’t switch to the cobras even though he has plenty reason to - feeling like participation in the feud would only ensnare him more

CONNECTIONS

crack open a cold one : he loves beer okay .. let him crack open a cold one with the boys . that’s it , that’s the connection .

person who tried to assassinate him : he probably hates him ! still has nightmares about that night , so thanks for that ! wld be a rly cool connection to take up , and just wanna emphasize that whoever higher up probably just told the assassin to kill the person who showed up with the drugs so /technically/ it’s not their fault, but it is THEIR FAULT that they’re a frikken murderer ! all my charas a cowards , we been knew .

person who killed someone in the home invasion thingy resulting in his father going to jail : ethan probably hates this person too ! he has a lot of hate to go around .

hook-up : he’s 45 , not dead … though he’s not the biggest age gap stan , again , he’s a COWARD .

ex from before valdez : he probably lost contact with everyone when he came to valdez , sad , idk how this one would work honestly, but if they’re not from valdez hmu we can figure something out and hc !

ex in general : can healthy relationships exist in valdez ? exactly . someone who tries to convert him to cobra-hood omg : i mean he has a lot of reason to but just never bit the bullet idk !

therapy, bitch ! : come talk to him , let him counsel u uwu , need an unbiased ear ? he’s ur man !

FRANCES !

law clerk or crooked cop : this is kinda integral to her plot, basically the person who made sure she didn’t go to jail when she accidentally killed her father , i feel like frances would feel super indebted to them , but also hold the slightest bit of resentment towards them because she feels as though she deserves to go to jail .

college friend : if there are any students in this hizzy house , hmu ! someone she partied with in the brief time she was in college , and then also someone who introduced her to the clubs . can be the same person or someone else , but also someone she loves dancing with . also someone she can be a nerd with and like rent out a space or come to the club when it’s not open and learn dumb dance routines like the one from riverdale dhjfgf , I JUST REALLY WANT HER TO LEARN THE DANCE OK !

friend who comes over to dinner : listen her grandma worries abt her a lot ok and is always like do u even have friends lmao, so GIMME SOMEONE who comes over to dinner and says yes when gma offers a second serving and quells her grandma’s worries about frances .

BOBBY !

childhood friends : okay consider this, listen to sticks ’n’ stones by jamie t , and give me a friendship based on that ? basically kids who just got into a bunch of shit together , mostly this iconic lyric : and rushed back to your momma’s flat , it’s the only place but home i feel relaxed enough to crap , i know it sounds crude , but there’s something to that . since bobby was basically jesus of suburbia , it’d be cool if the friend was probably like had some connection to the trouble ja feel .

fellow movie buff : god this’d be so pretentious i hate it already, but gimme someone who also nuts over old film , and criticizes blockbusters or in opposition someone who argues for the validity of marvel movies shdfjdf - it’s jus a fun dynamic , movie night , CUDDLING , POPCORN ! getting blasted and watching requiem for a dream , then going on a bad trip because they got blasted and watched requiem for a dream fhgdf

drug dealer : a man likes his drugs , we been knew . pretty basic . but ! uk what would be cool , if the drug dealer was older / same age as him and it was the dealer who got him into the gang , uwu solidarity ! i figured they had like a brief romance , remained good friends idk , we could figure it out . but if not , just regular drug dealer . he’s like hit me with the good stuff , he’ll take anything he’s not picky , just an addict .

#valdez.intro #ur braver than the us marines if u got thru all this #onto replies !! i wanna plot b4 i do moodboards so i can include some connects on them uwu

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candymayvary · 6 years

Text

smth i wrote a little while ago. i wrote professor kim w masculine pronouns bc idk just made it harder when referring to axel and alex in the same sentences lol

i dont have a specific time in mind for when this would take place. just like. assumptions that axel has a good relationship with his professor, and that his professor actually takes care and notice of his work (my impression anyway from axel’s bio). and like..... discussing both student and professional work? idk. professor pov.

and u kno what @se-serena

“Professor, you asked to see me?”

Looking up from his papers, Alex notices the way that this one particular student hovered in the doorway, and how his assistant was struggling to cover the starry-eyed gaze. With a wave of his hand, Axel walked the rest of the way into the office, door closing behind him with a soft click. Axel seemed to take the hint, settling in one of the chairs with an ease that told far more than he realised.

“Before we begin, am I speaking to Axel, or you today?”

That seems to catch Axel off-guard, even though it had long since been a regular thing. Normally, when they had these one-on-one sessions, Axel would state at the beginning, set the feel of it, whether professional or personal. But it would be highly unprofessional of Alex Kim to assume one or the other, when he was the one who had called the meeting first.

Perhaps he should consider it a great deal that Axel, singer extraordinaire, considered his opinion so highly. But there was tension growing in those around him, and well, he wouldn’t be in the position he was if he just ignored it.

“Axel?” his student hinges it on a question, as if he wasn’t too sure either. Alex couldn’t say that was the best decision, that he should’ve crossed that line they had made. A part of him had hoped Axel would understand the need for this to be speaking to the student, not the singer.

Oh well. Alex could work with it, no matter what. Not like there was much choice here, anyway.

“Alright. Before I begin, do you have any idea why I called you to my office today?” A classic teacher line, to gauge where the student in turn was at. Telltale signs of stress would show, such as nervously looking at every corner of the room, or wringing their hands.

Axel shows none of these, chin in hand, as he relaxed in the chair. Pokerfaced and resolute. Alex had to admit that he was rather proud of where Axel currently sat, as he remembered where he had started. Not just from the tutelage he received from Arlington, as a lot of the work was all Axel’s doing — most of it in his own time.

“Not really, sir.”

Fair. Alex’s email had been sharp and to the point. Meeting, Wednesday morning, ten thirty, don’t be late. Need to talk about your schoolwork, or so Alex had said. Not wholly untrue.

“There has been some calls from other teachers regarding your work ethic, Axel. And not just in regards to your music.”

“Then why aren’t they having the meeting with me in person? Leaving you to clean up their dirty work, aren’t they?” A certain level of snide creeps into his voice. Alex lets the comment run its course.

“As much as I would like to discuss your results in other classes, I can’t. I don’t speak for them.”

Axel leans forward then, a little tighter around the eyes. He had only returned to campus a week prior, but from what Alex understood, most classes had been missed (except all of his, of course). “So? What’s this about, sir?”

And with that, Alex clicks on his laptop, watching the screen slowly light up. Whatever attitude Axel was trying to pull, the clear signs of interest were showing, with how he frowned a little when an all too familiar song played. His last assignment, handed in only a day prior. Two weeks late, but reasons withstanding, Alex wasn’t going to linger on that. No, he had spent a good few hours picking the work to pieces, breaking down every lyric, every beat.

All his official comments and notes were in a file, ready to be sent at any moment. Axel could expect it after this meeting, no doubt. But the song ran it’s course, four minutes of it, before Alex paused the repeat.

“You didn’t like it?” Axel finally asks, when the silence grew.

With a shrug, Alex motions to it. “I did. Definitely one of your better works in the last few months, Axel,” and then he pauses, wondering how to fully phrase the next part. And he had spent a two hours slaving over how to expect this meeting to go. “Unprofessionally, your work has always stood out in some way. But professionally…”

Trailing off, Alex focuses on the hand he had extended, once animated with commentary. Fingers curl into his palm. “Professionally, the work is lacklustre. And you are aware of how it’s been for a while now, Axel, there’s no denying that.”

For his part, Axel remains silent, a careful expression playing on his face. This could go either way. Alex was prepared for it.

As he continues, he keeps a careful eye on Axel. “You have been doing the same thing over and over. The initial grab your music had isn’t there anymore. There’s no feeling behind the words.

“Whatever rut you are stuck in, it’s time to stop digging, Axel. Maybe it’s time to consider a different angle than the one you are producing.”

“What are you saying, professor? You can tell me, I’m not a child.”

Alex has to smile at that, as Axel’s tone betrayed him. A shame most of his peers were concerned with voicing critiques in class, as there was some level of reverence played towards Axel. Of course he was aware of it, when marking work later. How other students listed the same problems, and some of them had also suggested good ways to work around it, to break through whatever slump Axel had fallen prey to. But those went unsaid, which was why they sat the way they did now.

“I’m saying, Axel, that you need something new. Something fresh. Not the kind of thing you create just to satisfy an audience. At this point, you’ve given me the same kind of song several times over. And I will admit, your work is always at an incredible standard.” Soften the blow, Alex, come on. “You’ve always gone above and beyond.”

Axel interjects then, as if knowing full well Alex was trying to skirt around the issue with platitudes. “But?”

“But,” he concedes, and plays the song again. Softer this time. “There’s no passion in this work. It’s lifeless.”

That seems to rile him up a little. “Well, help me. Tell me what to do.”

Alex chuckles, despite himself. “I can’t ‘tell you what to do’, Axel. I can only make suggestions.”

“Then do it. Sir.” Ah, through gritted teeth, Axel was staying polite.

“Go back to where you started. Let your current songs settle. Do something other than music for a while.” With a sigh, Alex stops. “There’s only so much I can suggest to you, Axel. People sing about the moon, without ever stepping foot on it.”

“Are you telling me to sing about the moon?” Axel’s tone bordered on incredulous, maybe a little mocking, and Alex had to stop himself from huffing.

“No, but what I’m telling you to do is challenge yourself. Sing about something you haven’t experienced, instead of what you think you know. Cities, the ocean, love… a particular season, even. There are plenty of topics to make a song about, if you do it well.”

Letting that drop and settle, Alex knew what the reaction would be. Plenty of other students of all ages and abilities tended to short circuit on such a simple suggestion as love. Numerous songs had come through from all kinds of people, a range of themes and feelings. Anything from a song about their pet cat, to what a breakup would be like. Never let it be said that his department was untalented, as even those so sheltered before Arlington managed to convince Alex otherwise. And he took great pride in that, encouraged it, harnessed that talent. Execution, execution, execution. Something he emphasised to greatly.

His first classes started the same. Make me believe in something. Big letters across the board, as it would stay for the next few months. Sing me something I don’t know. Alex stressed it, constantly. Have him relate, have him feel. Have him dream of a set of lyrics that were a jumbled mess of words out of context, but in that moment resonated with him.

And he pushed it. Whenever assignments were due, songs would pour in, and those who understood what it meant, achieved.

Those who didn’t, sat before him, out of their depth, and showing the signs of it. Of course Alex knew Axel’s potential, how wonderful he was. And perhaps it was a little presumptuous to say that Axel had been one of his favourite students in a long time, because there was a lot of work in the future for the both of them.

But watching Axel splutter under the suggestion of ‘love’, as if some of his earlier songs didn’t contain those themes, was unexpected. Axel had sung about it, a long time ago, like he knew what he was talking about.

If he hadn’t turned bright red, Alex almost would’ve thought it was someone else all along. Wisely, Alex chose not to comment on his student’s complexion, and diverted the conversation back. “As I said, Axel, there are a number of topics to choose from, it’s just on you to make them come to life.”

“But,” he started, before clearing his throat. Alex felt the corner of his mouth quirk a little, trying as he was, at the jump in Axel’s voice. “But… people who like my work — like me — don’t want songs about oceans. I can’t do that kind of stuff for them.”

“Then sing for yourself.”

“You say that like it’s easy.” It’s a quiet admission, like Alex had finally managed to break through one layer. To anyone else, that may have been misunderstood, but Alex knew how much it meant, to start to see the student underneath the professional.

“I know it’s not. If it helps, sing for only one person. Sing for two, three, or ten. Not hundreds. Don’t focus your energy into what you think people want to hear, but what they need to hear.”

“Yeah, but who needs to hear about love? Almost every song is about it. Wouldn’t that just make me like everyone else?” From the way Axel raises his eyebrows, Alex can hear him calling him a hypocrite.

“Perhaps, but it’s all about execution.”

An eye roll, that set off the feeling this discussion was coming to a close. Definitely a shame, despite Alex knowing he got more in that he thought he would. Always a caution as to where particular conversations with Axel went. But this one? This one was positive — perhaps it could even be considered groundbreaking. Despite the heave of a sigh as Axel pushes himself to his feet, Alex could see the cogs begin to spin. Careful calculations were playing out before him, which only made Alex swell with pride.

“Enough for today. Hopefully you have plenty to think about.”

Axel nods, scratching his neck before crossing his arms. Taking a step out of the situation, it seemed. In the background, the song he had submitted for his assignment still played on loop, only ending when Alex finally closed his laptop. “I do have to say that, unfortunately, I can’t accept this for your assignment.”

Holding a hand up, as Axel snapped to attention, Alex gave him the best settling stare he could manage. “You have another week to write and compose a song. Think about what I’ve said, and I want to see it come into play. You’re an amazing musician, Axel. Remember that.”

#sweet elite #se axel #se alex kim #*my fic #embarrassedly tags se creator #idk what alex kim's pronouns are.........#m sorry

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sadrien · 7 years

Text

prince of cats

chapter two: this holy shrine

on ao3 || on ffnet 1

i was gonna say something but im in like a really really bad mood right now so i hope you enjoy the chapter

Marinette hesitates for longer than usual at her apartment door. There’s no way her neighbor will be out and about at this time today, she’s never run into him before yesterday. Maybe he just had an errand to run or something. She shouldn’t be nervous about the slim chance of seeing someone she’s exchanged not even half a conversation with.

At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.

The reality of the situation is that she fell asleep on the couch in the middle of designing an evening dress and had dreamt about his eyes. His eyes! God it’s like she’s a teenager again.

Just as she’d predicted, she doesn’t run into her neighbor. She’s strangely disappointed. Not that she had been looking forward to see him, she just—

Okay. Yes, she’d been looking forward to at least catching another glimpse of him. She kind of wants to hear his voice again, maybe hear him laugh?

For some reason, she thinks it would sound like springtime—

Marinette shakes away those wistful thoughts as she exits the building and makes her way to work. She focuses on the evening gown she started designing the day before and makes a point not to use any green. But she can’t help but think that it would look really nice with green accessories.

Why is she like this?

If any of her coworkers notice that she’s a little off, no one says anything. They probably don’t, they’re all drowning in anxiety as they rush to finish this line, but Marinette can’t help but worry a little whenever she catches herself staring off into the distance thinking about his smile.

Eventually, she gives in and pulls out her phone, texting Alya quickly. She should’ve told Alya yesterday at lunch. It probably would’ve turned out better.

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Sos I need help

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess babe arent u in work??? but as always im here to help and fix everything

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Theres a guy and hes cute

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess idk what i was expecting but it wasnt that

Marinette resists the urge to bang her head against her worktable. She just needs one rant to Alya and hopefully all this will be over. She’ll get over this tiny infatuation and move on with her life. And stop thinking about his gorgeous green eyes and how he’d stared at her when—

Her phone vibrates with a new message and breaks her out of her daydream.

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess k so theres a guy how can i help

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Good question I jsut?? Cant stop thinking about him????

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess oh wow how come ive never heard about this guy??

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Um… I met him yesterday???

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess girl

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful I know I know!!! We ran into each other Literally And he was tall and blond and pretty and was wearing this gorgeous black trenchcoat but thats off topic and he had this cat that for some reason was all sparkly??? And his eyes were nice and I dont even know his name and Im going to stop talking and just send this message so you can judge me

Marinette puts her phone down and focuses on her job for a few minutes. Alya will still be there when this hem is done. She’s surprised to find herself in the zone and is even to ignore a few vibrations from her phone as she stitches. But it’s not meant to last, because as soon as she finishes the hem, she’s reaching to reply.

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess oh girl uve got it bad for a complete stranger!!!!! im not gonna judge i find random people hot all the time but im not usually this…….fixated on them

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Just do it al Call me creepy

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess ur a beautiful tropical fish mari u poetic and noble land mermaid ur not creepy ur in love

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful You cant be in love with someone you just met Alya!!!!!!!!

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess tell that to cinderella!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Plot twist this is real life al not an animated disney movie I cant fall in love with someone I met ONCE

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess not with that attitude

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Oh my god Look I dont even know his name

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess so we make up a name!! lets see……… ive got it chat noir ur prince is named chat noir

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Excuse me

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess he has a cat he wore black chat noir

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Youre truly the voice of our generation

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess ;* k i have to get back to work and i kno u do too (smh using me to procrastinate how dare u (ilysm)) but ill call u later u me and nino can freak out about cute boys k??

From: fashion goddess To: the Most Beautiful Sounds great Thanks <3

From: the Most Beautiful To: fashion goddess of course darling!! have fun with ur fashion ill hear u yell later

Marinette puts her phone away. She can last until tonight. Right?

Thank god it’s Friday.

✦ ✦ ✦

By the time her lunch break comes around, Marinette has been productive enough that she could’ve stayed home and the results would’ve been the same. She shouldn’t be letting something so trivial get in the way of her actual paying job, but apparently she has no control over her own thoughts.

Marinette seriously debates taking the rest of the day off (because that’s really what she’s come to) but acknowledges that, no, that’s a bad idea. She’s an adult with deadlines and will get over it and be productive for the rest of the day.

She does go home for lunch, though. She has leftover takeout in her fridge and an episode of a random TV show to finish. She had stopped paying attention at some point to focus on her designs, but she had been weirdly invested in the over dramatic characters and cliche plotline.

Marinette is digging through her bag looking for her keys when she hears the door next to her unlocking. She freezes, eyes wide, as the door swings open.

Her neighbor hums to himself as he closes and locks the door behind him. He doesn’t even notice she’s there until he turns around and they make eye contact and Marinette goes redder than last winter’s avant garde piece.

“H-hi,” she stutters, clutching her keys tightly in her hand. She can feel the ridges of the key biting into her palm.

He blinks a few times before turning pink. “Oh my god,” he whispers, “you’re the one I completely knocked over and then ran away from yesterday.”

Marinette laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, that was… That was me.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I-I am so sorry. I really, I just— I had to go grab Plagg before he vanished on me and I wasn’t thinking and then when I got back you were gone and—”

“It’s fine!” Marinette interrupts. At least she’s not the only mess in this hallway. “Plagg?”

“My cat,” he answers.

She raises an eyebrow. “The…sparkly one?”

“Um…” He sighs. “Okay, so I might’ve used a bath bomb and I might’ve forgotten to rinse out the bathtub and Plagg might have gotten into it and might’ve rolled around in the glitter.” He looks away. “So my black cat might’ve been gold.”

Marinette covers her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh.

“He’s fine!” her neighbor insists. “He got a bath and is hopefully completely glitter free now and also that glitter is made of seaweed so… He’s fine. Sorry for knocking you over.”

“No harm done,” Marinette promises.

His eyes go wide. “I just realized, I’ve been rambling on about my cat and you don’t even know my name.” He holds his hand out to her. “I’m Adrien. I’ve lived in the building for a few months I just…never got around to introducing myself to anyone.”

Marinette smiles and shakes his hand. At least she can tell Alya they don’t have to call him Chat Noir. “Marinette. It’s nice to meet you. And your cat.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Adrien lets go of her hand and she mourns the loss of contact. Pathetic. “I have to run to the store, but maybe I’ll see you around later?”

Marinette nods. “Y-yeah, definitely.”

He shoots her a dazzling smile that melts her heart. “See you then.”

She stares at him until he disappears into the stairwell and continues to stare until the echoes of his footsteps fade. The she opens her apartment door and nearly collapses inside.

She’s going to be lucky if she makes it back to work in time.

✦ ✦ ✦

“Alright,” Alya says, pouring herself a glass of wine. “I’ve filled Nino in on the little situation and we are ready to yell about our tall, blond, and handsome Chat Noir.”

“You better be pouring me some of that,” Nino says from offscreen.

Marinette resizes her Skype window as Alya scoots over so Nino can sit next to her. Alya hands Nino the wineglass. “Here you go, babe.”

Nino takes it. “Are you not going to need another glass?”

Alya picks up the bottle. “Nothing wrong with drinking straight from the bottle.”

Nino shakes his head. “Anyway, tell us everything, Mari. I want to know it all.”

Marinette pulls her legs up onto the couch and crosses them. “Well…there was actually a development.”

Alya and Nino exchange a look.

“Tell me everything,” Alya says.

“Right, so remember when my neighbor moved out a few months ago?” Marinette asks.

They both nod.

Nino shudders. “Thank god too, I hated that dude. He was a massive dick.”

“Okay, well, then that new neighbor moved in and I never had time to meet them?” They nod again. Marinette takes a deep breath. “I just met him.”

Nino groans and Alya buries her face in her hands.

“He’s your fucking neighbor?” Nino asks. “That’s just—”

“You could’ve been gawking him for months!” Alya interrupts throwing her arms out.

“I just—”

“Wait, how have you never run into him before?” Nino asks. “Does he never leave the house?”

Marinette shrugs. “We must have very different schedules.”

Alya sighs. “And this isn’t fanfiction. People don’t just knock on their neighbor’s door asking for a cup of sugar.”

“His name is Adrien and his smile is like the sun,” Marinette waxes, sinking back into the couch. “He likes bath bombs and has a black cat named Plagg and when he blushes he turns the most perfect shade of pink.” She tenses. “I mean—” She glances to her laptop to see Alya and Nino watching her with fond smiles and soft eyes. Marinette looks away, feeling her cheeks grow hot. “Shut up,” she mumbles.

“It’s cute,” Nino promises.

“It is,” Alya agrees. “We haven’t seen you like this in years, Mari. It’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

Nino hums in agreement. “Though it sucks that we can’t keep calling him Chat Noir. I like the nickname.”

Alya scoffs. “Who said I was going to stop calling him Chat Noir? But…” She pulls out her phone. “With a real name, I can stalk him on social media.”

“Please don’t,” Marinette begs.

“Please do,” Nino counters, leaning closer to Alya to see the screen of her phone.

“Nino!”

“Hey! I want to see if this dude is as hot as you say he is.”

Marinette raises an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, are you doubting my judgement?”

Nino shakes his head. “Never. But if he is that hot, I still want to see him.” “I know you have a girlfriend, but I’ve still got dibs.”

“I’d leave Alya if he were hot enough.”

Alya grabs a pillow and smacks Nino in the face with it without even looking away from her phone screen.

Nino laughs and shoves the pillow away. “I love you, Al, I swear.”

“Mhm.” Alya frowns at her phone. “Okay, Mari, just ‘Adrien’ isn’t enough for me to find him—”

“Shocking,” Marinette murmurs.

“Shush I’m doing you a favor. With any luck he’ll be tweeting about how drop dead gorgeous his neighbor is or something. But anyway, I need you to get me some details. A last name would be preferable. But even like a place of work or a school would work.”

“Creepy,” Nino says before taking a long drink of his wine.

“And yet you date me anyway,” Alya muses. She looks up and stares Marinette down. “Last name, Marinette. Got that?”

Marinette nods. She’s going to have to find some non creepy way to do this, isn’t she? “Got it.”

✦ ✦ ✦

Marinette doesn’t wake up until ten in the morning, but she still wakes up exhausted. She stayed up far too late talking to Nino and Alya, Alya still trying to find some trace of Adrien on the internet as Nino and Marinette talked about anything and nothing at all. It’s been a few weeks since the three of them just talked like that, their lives are a hectic disaster, and Marinette’s missed it. They’ve been best friends for years and she definitely misses seeing them every single day at school.

She sings softly to herself as she wanders around the apartment, opening windows to let air in. It’s a surprisingly warm day for late fall, and she’s embracing every minute of warmth that she can.

Today’s a lazy day. She’s decided.

She’s meeting up with Nino and Alya later tonight for dinner and a movie at their apartment, but until then she can just lounge around in her pajamas and watch bad reality TV. Honestly, she’ll probably show up to their place in pajamas too. Not that they can judge, Marinette knows for a fact that Nino doesn’t change out of his sweats if he has a day off.

Marinette stops in her tracks when she reenters her bedroom. She blinks a few times, just to make sure she’s seeing right.

On her window sill naps a black cat, glittering slightly golden in the morning sun.

#adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #adrienette #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #my fics #proc ml #prince of cats ml

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hotelsweet · 7 years

Photo

HI and thank you so so so much if you got involved in this!!!! I’m so excited to be celebrating 1.5k w you guys and can’t wait to dish out some of these lil prizes <3

u guys I’ve had so much fun doing this and I’ve legit sat here for HOURS going through everyone’s blogs and tags and I’m just so,,,, in love,,, this fandom is amazing and u guys are so gorgeous and amazing! I’ve been whining at @peraltiagoisland all day about how much I want to include everyone and shower u all in compliments and just!!! I’m so blown away tbh A QUICK REMINDER OF THE PRIZES WINNERS: - a big personalised playlist from me to u (u kno how I love my tunes) - a follow from me if I’m not followin u (duh) - a mention here!! - a b99 fic from me if u want it!!! any prompt ya like - hugs and love obvs

RUNNERS UP: - a lil personal playlist from me to u - also a follow if I’m not already - also hugs and love - and a lil mention here <3

if you’ve won/are a runner up please message me so we can talk and I’ll get started on your stuff! i’m so excited to talk to a bunch of you and give u music and writing agh <3

OKAY WITHOUT FURTHER ADO (I have added notes in italics bc I am just so excited and amazed by u guys)

BEST SMALLER BLOG (a very important category bc I actually do not understand how these people don’t have thousands of ppl following them??)

WINNER: @the-pontiac-bandit OKAY let me tell you about carrie and her blog. I spent a solid 60 mins reading her amazing writing and admiring her theme and then I checked her reblog and she had the #under500 tag and I yelled. not kidding. like an actual noise left my mouth because HOW THIS GIRL DOES NOT HAVE A CULT FOLLOWING I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. FOLLOW HER RUNNERS UP: @theartofdreaming1 aka Vicky who is the sweetest person and SUCH a talented artist!!! @khwabonkeparindey anna’s blog is so adorable and maybe it’s bc I’m type A but the layout of her navigation actually turned me on a little bit oh my LORD it’s beautiful and so well-organised @two-drink-amy I was only gonna have two runners up for this category but nicole and everything about her blog is so sweet!!

BEST URL WINNER: @jake-purealta not only does tash seem incredibly lovely BUT this url is so perfect and well-fitting!!! I feel like, given her obsession w Tswift, it fits beautifully well with jake’s obsession too??? everything about it clicks I love it RUNNERS UP: @roscoesantangelo because I mean!!!!! you’ve scored the perfect url of jorma taccone’s character in parks and rec!!!? like damn good on u my guy @amysantiagone okay I wont lie this one is for personal reasons- although I happen to absolutely love Nate’s blog- bc for some reason the url reminds me of when u get super drunk and describe urself as “gone” (a v popular phrase here in the UK) and as a result I just picture drunk Amy whenever I see ur URL

BEST EDITS WINNER: @juliadorable RIGHT OKAY SO JULIA (julia) is one of these people I’ve always wanted to chat to bc she seems amazing but what I absolutely love about her edits & gifs is that she picks/ creates posts for some of the most underappreciated moments in the show!!! I love em and this blog is a blessing thank u sm RUNNERS UP: @jakeperallta aka @deepshadows !!! look at these edits immediately oh my god they are actually incredible and so creative!!! i’m not worthy!! fam I love ur edits so much thank u for providing me w this goodness <3 follow alexa immediately on both blogs seriously @brown-aces I won’t lie I’m not sure if these count as edits but I legit couldn’t not include you because of THE INCORRECT QUOTES TAG. this is legit one of my fave things and ur posts never fail to make me chuckle

BEST GIFS WINNER: @fourdrinkamy okay so not only is Emma gorgeous, talented, super clever and just all-around marvellous BUT her gifs are like... so good they’re satisfying? like I spent a good half hour just scrolling and admiring ‘em RUNNERS UP: @amesantiagos okay this girl has such an eye for colour and aesthetic I’m not kidding everything just looks so Good!! like I adore her stuff to the point where I followed her on insta too (hi Amy I’m darcey_wm if ur wondering where I am) bc it just looks so damn good @sergeant-santiago I’m just.... like.... shooketh..... I’ll get back to this later

BEST FICS (oh my god what a category I legit could NOT pick someone lol this was painful bc u guys write the best shit) WINNER: @elsaclack this feels a little obvious/predictable of me bc I’ve rambled about em’s stuff before but Dear Fucking God can this woman write. her fics and the way they had me laughing/crying/glued to my phone are the reason I RUNNERS UP: @peraltiagoisland MICHELLE aka the love of my life KNOWS HOW TO KILL ME NO MATTER THE TIME NOR PLACE dear god I recommend so hard,,,, jump in and give the drama club au a spin trust me u won’t regret it @jakelovesamy oh my god okay so let me tell u. let me TELL U i did not realise that this gorgeous girl was on AO3 but then I clicked over from her blog and it all came flooding back once I recognised her handle!!! I recommend u go and read ‘and all my world is losing light’ bc it’s gorgeous @oceanvirus again I didn’t mean to have three runners up but I had to bc I’m just..... a piece of shit lol BUT ANYWAY please please go and read Bella’s stuff I love it so much

BEST ICON WINNER: @brown-aces GIRL THIS ICON FITS THE THEME SO WELL AND ALSO IT’S THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE ROSA LOOKIN FIERCE so obvs I’m obsessed RUNNERS UP: @jakelovesamy bc it’s adorable and I adore it @three-drink-amy bc it’s my beautiful, smiling boy,,,, grinning at this wonderful blog

BEST DESKTOP THEME WINNER: @smolsamberg okay kara’s blog is gorgeous anyway (go follow!!!) but this theme is fuckin funky as shit??? navigating it genuinely felt like operating the sexiest lil website on earth and for that I am grateful RUNNERS UP: @bastillebananas this theme is FUCKING ADORABLE not kidding I love it omg I had so much fun w it (also hi fellow fan of bastille!! I’m seein ‘em this summer at a festival exciting) @amesantiagos this theme is so cute oh my lord (almost as cute as the wonderful Amy who runs this blog!!! seriously it’s just so wonderful and satisfying and Good Choice my guy I love it (and u)

BEST MOBILE THEME WINNER: @swansongcas MATE omg your blog is so satisfying and blue and just like.. sexy to look at so well done my guy!!! also helps that I adore ur blog in general but omg is it aesthetically pleasing RUNNERS UP: @oceanvirus bella your mobile theme is almost as sexy as u ;) x (I’m sorry if that was creepy I promise it was well-intended) @two-drink-amy okay this is partially bc of the adorable icon but mostly bc of the theme and I just... it’s so bright and sweet and honestly just reminds me of my joyous response to every b99 episode ever WHEW OKAY SO BEFORE WE DO THE BEST OVERALL BLOG,,,, I WANNA JUST THROW A FEW SURPRISE SUPERLATIVES / FUN CATEGORIES

this is also gonna include some honourable mentions bc I am supported by some brilliant people and also bc not everyone I wanted to put in on here I could??? which is crazy so:

A big round of applause to the X-drink Amy crew who I see all the time and firmly believe should all be led by the adorable @full-santiago ?? like a little clan of Amy-themed URLs: @two-drink-amy / @three-drink-amy / @fourdrink-amy / @fourdrinkamy / @fivedrinksantiago / @six-drink-amy (I’m sure there’s more of you out there but these came to mind and I want u all to form a band or something)

A big fat shout out to emily aka @jakefreakingperalta who!!! made these valentines cards that I used this year for my friends but never knew the source of!!! another example of the funny and amazing ppl I follow here

an honourable mention for the amazing @tiadorable whose comments on my first works on AO3 (and my more recent stuff, too!) made me smile and motivated me so much <3 now for some superlatives!! follow these people rn!!! and if ur here please feel free to come ask me to write or make anything for u ever I love u

most likely to lure me onto the sin train and never look back: my girl erica aka @startofamoment.... can u believe.... the creativity and the happiness/giggles this lady brings me

most likely to literally ruin my fucking life thru writing: obviously em?? aka @elsaclack. I appreciate this is a fairly harsh title but dear god the things u could make me feel?????? also a brilliant woman i love u

most likely to always have complete faith in me, chat to me constantly, make me smile, & constantly be a complete angel w a heart of gold and amazing writing: @peraltiagoisland. need I say any more????

OKAY so the big 1:

BEST OVERALL BLOG RUNNERS UP: everyone who reblogged my first post. not a cop out. not kidding. u guys are amazing WINNER: @sergeant-santiago okay okay okay let me tell u about this blog. everything from content to quality stuck out to me when I was looking through everything for the blog awards and I was just completely blown away and in awe??? this girl is perfection and if you’re not following her blog then I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY get ur late ass over there bc u are missing the fuck out. I can’t stress this enough!!!! alright!!! I think we’re about there!! thank you so much (again) for 1.5k. u guys are wonderful

#this took me... forever #I'm sorry it took so long!!!!#I just wanted to make sure I could pay attention to as many people as humanly possible #bc u guys r worth it #thank you thank you thank you for 1.5k #and the support my stuff gets #darcey speaks #1.5k blog awards #blog recs #fic recs

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Rio & Indie

Rio: Have you seen the paper yet? Indie: ive heard Indie: word be around Rio: 4 years, really weren't fucking around this time Rio: you alright? Indie: it aint 14 least 🍀 him Indie: im good ✌✌ Rio: True, still Rio: Longest he's ever been away, isn't it Indie: yeah Indie: most chief he been tho Rio: Also true Rio: They even gonna trust him to deal on the inside at this point, like Indie: nah hes proper owned himself w this Indie: 💔💔💔💔 like Rio: Shame, could easy get up to the lucky 14 when he was caught, they hate that shit Rio: Well, least we know now Rio: Ma's already talking to the relevant people, making sure they know you're officially staying with us like so no one need come sniffing 'round now your 'caregiver' is away Rio: Laughable Indie: it aint no thing 4's nuff to be all grown Indie: safe Rio: Yeah but you ain't yet babe, you know how it is Indie: to the feds but how you said imma be covered its chill Rio: It will be Rio: You know we've got you Rio: D'ya want some time off School, 'cos I can so ask Rio: they don't need to know we'll just be chilling and not 💔 Indie: i aint tryna dash that idea bitch Indie: what kinda tourist is i Rio: Yeah, I didn't reckon so 😏 Rio: I'm out shopping rn so I'll get your faves in Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Rio: I love you bitch Indie: innit tho Indie: cant swerve me now youre wifed fr Rio: Never Rio: Anyway he's busy 'til end of June so party at ours fr Indie: wen daddys away 😏😏😏😂😂😂 Indie: u gon b 💔💔💔💔 over thats how you need me off school mama i 👀 you Rio: Exactly 😉 Rio: Cheek! Rio: I'm so concerned, how dare Indie: i aint kno how you b letting him back in dem posho ends looking that 🔥🔥🔥👑👑 is what im chattin Indie: he be even more peng since you 💍 that Rio: It's the tan Rio: Don't reckon he'll have much time to be cheating, babe, we good Rio: Daddy not going nowhere Indie: & the ink 😍😍😍😍😍 Indie: only on his exams 🤞🤞 boy gotta hit dem high grades Rio: 😂 Cool it bitch Rio: where's the love for my ink? Indie: ive seen yours long Indie: blind to it bitch 😂😂😂 Indie: nah but he virgin so u kno Indie: poppin his 🍒😏😏 Rio: Okay I'll give you that 😋 Rio: I make good choices Indie: he gon bring me a daddy downgrade posh boy back from london or nah? Indie: cos bout it Rio: Probably breaks some kind of trafficking law, babe Rio: and the monkey was cuter Indie: that 🐒 aint gonna 💸💸💸 me no ferrari tho Rio: Maybe Rio: take it down beach and charge people for pics Indie: you savage 😂😂👑 boss moves Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Rio: Gotta think big picture always baby 💖 Indie: tru 💎💎💎 Rio: I'll let you drive it 'round farm later Rio: but I'll be putting mattresses on every tree like Indie: serious? Rio: Yeah Rio: Don't be telling Buster and don't be tryna break the land speed record Indie: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Indie: OMF Indie: the lads are gon 💀💀💀💀 wen they been knew Rio: can take some pics for the flex on them, naturally Indie: this is so sick Rio: I know Rio: It's crazy Indie: wed never have believed this madness wen we was rollin in the 24 a few back Indie: dis how you livin girl Indie: 👑👑👑👑 Rio: I could never park that in the 24 Rio: Thank God these flats have got a garage Indie: innit tho Indie: your mans tryna get you merked w you just wed Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: is it? Rio: get some insurance on me first, damn Rio: hardly worth it Indie: you worth more livin 💖💖💖😍😍 u kno Indie: he all bout dat brag too Rio: Aww Rio: So sweet 😂💘 Indie: fr Indie: gotta let me do my maid of honor tricks fore he dashes you or imma be vexed Indie: & gimme 👶👶👶👶s cos im hyped for all the youngers Indie: best big sister vibe innit Rio: 'Course Rio: I'll get to work asap, like Indie: ✌✌✌✌ Indie: u gon visit him or fr be here amp af til his schoolin done? Rio: Dunno, depends Rio: maybe for a weekend like but tryna let him concentrate and be here, like Indie: he not gonna concentrate if you aint there to ride him Indie: boys extra Rio: 😂 Rio: Oh babe, you saying the fate of his results lay in my 😻? Indie: 😏😏😏 u married him you aint need me to tell you how he do Rio: You funny Rio: I gotta be here though Indie: ?? Rio: For all y'all Indie: nah man Indie: days gone aint no drama Rio: Even if you good, Edie still ain't Rio: I should be about to help the 'rents out yeah Indie: if thats how you want it Indie: she been told? kno she aint reading no paper Rio: I think Dad messaged her but she never replies to them Indie: she get it from them least Indie: shit to hear it from the wasteman around Indie: heads @ school are loving chattin to me rn 🙄🙄🙄🙄🖕🖕 Rio: I know Rio: People are dicks Indie: so is drew Indie: gonna get chatted Rio: yeah, like you ain't been knew Indie: they aint care what i kno or say they just wanna talk what they wanna Indie: its bait Rio: yeah well you ain't gotta be 'round it now Rio: i got you a week off Indie: hectic Indie: you a real one like Rio: Literally the least I can do Indie: o that mean i can get more? 😂😂 Rio: I'm all about the hustle you know this Rio: depends on what you want tho Indie: imma think on Indie: make it good Rio: ✌ That's the attitude Indie: u kno Rio: Right, Imma get home and get cooking Rio: still wifey even if not in title Indie: 😍😍😍you soooooooo wifey 😍😍 Indie: mckenna best kno what he missin on Rio: No doubt Rio: who wouldn't miss all this? Indie: & he aint no tourist to it Indie: got this down u two Rio: Like to think so Rio: 😊 Indie: trust Rio: It is weird when he goes back to School Rio: how can you get married, legally, and still be in school, mad Indie: innit tho! i forget you aint proper 👵 &👴 Rio: 😂 Rio: imma have to start getting botox, like Rio: give me a complex Indie: naaaaah that aint how i mean Indie: u look 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but Indie: he got you domestic af Rio: Nuuh Rio: Ruuuuuude Indie: it cute Indie: jam ma Indie: 💘💘💘 feel the love 💘💘💘 Rio: Always be out here telling me I ain't a cool Ma 😜 Indie: roll w me now your mans away & we'll 👀 Rio: I'm 👏 letting 👏 you 👏 drive 👏 my 👏 new 👏 car Indie: aint mean you can hang in a party mood Indie: gotta keep up baby Rio: Bitch I taught you how to party Rio: The disrespect Indie: but when bitch Indie: it been long Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Rio: You gotta lay low-ish if I've jailbroke you but alright Rio: where we going Indie: cos im keepin on the dl ill put feelers out Indie: go further Rio: I can't drink though 😕 Rio: I'm on antibiotics rn 😒 Indie: is it? you can have drinks tho they just hit quicker Rio: Yeah, true Indie: ill keep you straight its all good Indie: trust Rio: 👍

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brazilianism · 7 years

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hello im am undocumented immigrant from brazil living in america. i came here as a baby and am now about to turn 18. i have deportation relief (DACA) but with the current political climate i dont think its gonna be of much use any longer. im debating about moving to brazil and living with family, while my parents stay here so they can pay for my education and theyll join me eventually (willingly or not). my grasp on portuguese is good, but i prfer english. i cant afford college here, so i 1/2

2/2 dont see a point if i have no future. im gay and have schizophrenia which is disabling and will put me at a disadvantage, anyway im asking u bc u seem to kno about politics and i wanna kno if the politics in brazil woukd make my life worse than here. i would live in MG if i moved, thanks!”

Alright, ok, that’s like, the hardest question i’ve gotten in here ever, but let’s talk.

If you really want to move to Brazil for college, you gotta keep some stuff in mind. There are plenty of free universities here, and they’re VERY good. However, because they’re free and a few of the best in the country, they’re really fucking hard to get in as well, especially for more traditional courses like meds or law or engineering (and to a few more other courses that might require structure like filmschool even) etcs. Our system of selection is... messy. They don’t really take into account what you’ve done in high school. It’s a test, a bit like a SAT but only once a year and different in every college. Most of the public ones now take ENEM that is like, our SAT, our national thing, but quite a few still have their own tests (private universities generally have their own tests but will also take in ENEM results as a subscription at some point of the year). The public ones that have their own tests often separate them into two parts: first part is about 90 multiple choice questions in every area (we’ll talk about this in a bit), and if you get the minimum amount of those right you get on for a second part a couple of months later: 3-4 days of written questions in all areas again (but with different weights) and a writing task, generally a dissertation, and depending on your career choice, an “abilities test” (like, if you’re pleading for Architecture, they’re gonna test you to see if you can draw a little and that kind of thing). There’s no interviews, with rare rare exceptions in like, a couple of med schools.

For all the public ones, the areas covered in the tests are Maths, Physics, Chemistry, History, Geography, Portuguese, Biology, English or Spanish (more often, English) and (in some, not all) Philosophy/Sociology. In private universities, it depends for what you’re applying and on the institution, but there’s also always a written task required and multiple choice questions. I’m saying all of this because... You’d likely need to move and then go through a year or more of prep courses here to get into universities if you want a public one or if you’re in for a harder career on private ones, and that’s a cost to consider.

Now, regarding politics... While we are experiencing a bit of a conservative wave, I don’t think we’re all set on a path that would affect you as a member of the lgbt community. There sure are VERY prejudiced politicians, and some of them will sure be running for president next year, but I still don’t think they have the necessary strength to win. Of couse, it COULD happen, since Trump happened, but I don’t think it will. Of couse, I gotta say, homophobia is still a very real problem and we get cases like kids getting beaten to death for being gay still today on the newspapers, one happened I think just last week, but I think you’ll also find quite a welcoming community inside universities (especially if you’re on the... human/art side courses, not... math side courses). So I don’t really think you have to worry about the gay part of that. And neither about schizophrenia. I mean, I don’t know exactly how that affects you, but the only concern I’d have regarding the politics of it is that the government was cutting expenses on the public healthcare system, so maybe it’ll be harder to get free medication or free therapy than it’s been these past years, but it’s still probably gonna be possible and I suppose you have to pay for any of that in the US already, right? But otherwise I don’t think there are any regulations or weird ass norms to keep you out of college or of doing anything here because of either of those things, nor I think there will be any soon, if you’re worried. mAN I don’t know if I helped at all??? I guess what i’m saying is I only think you have to worry about getting into a university here, the rest will be ok, in my humble opinion. And ofc, if you have any other questions at all about university entrance or politics or the country or whatever, my askbox is always open

#ask #university #education #college #universities #federais #enem #vestibular #lgbt #lgbtq #politics #homophobia #Anonymous

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gulescamisade · 7 years

Text

Minnesota: Day 4

JAKE: -Another night is going by, he's pretty sure. And he's so sweaty, hungry, and thirsty. If their captors had left food or water for him, Jake promptly turned it down as he felt was the NATURAL THING TO DO. He heard what became of those mushroom tests from LOWAS. None of this was exactly ideal... He groans miserably, rubbing his tum of awful hunger pains. The headaches and dry throat.-

JAMES: -continuing his meditation and fasting. Energy continues to be conserved and though he is hungry, it's not the worst he's experienced. He only hopes the fact that it's gone quiet these past few hours can only be a good thing. No news is good news, James tells himself. It's the only thing he can do.-

ROXY: =Things seem quiet..... she leans against her wall and tap tap........ who's next to her. TAPS=

JAMES: -The only one who is paying attention is James. Leans back to the wall and taps in response.-

JAKE: -curled up in a ball, having cried himself into another headache nap.-

ROXY: =Baby no........ she taps out [HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTT] in morse code then POOFs over into the next cell.=

JAMES: -sitting crosslegged with his whole button up and slack combos. Professional even in these dire circumstances. James looking a little haggard what with his hair out of place, but still alert. Ready for action if need be.- ROXY.

JAMES: ....I AM RELIEVED TO SEE YOU.

JAMES: YOU ARE NOT HURT, ARE YOU?

ROXY: =She's definitely been sweating but she didn't wanna flaunt her powers too much since they expect shit of her but... she can't just. Let them go without. Whoever else is here. She rushes over to him too= glad 2 see u too im fine

ROXY: u gotta grocery list? im ur gal call me target cuz wal marts 2 trashy and im the height of supermarket class

ROXY: not whole foods class tho thats borderin in2 pretentious

JAMES: -knits his eyebrows.- ...ARE YOU OFFERING FOOD?

ROXY: anythin u need that u can hide and food definitely

JAMES: -nods promptly- WATER. DRIED FRUIT. CRACKERS. PROTEINS. ANYTHING WITH NUTRITIONAL VALUE.(edited)

ROXY: gotcha =she finger waggles up a storm dropping two sturdy sacks of water, dried fruits in thin bags along with crackers and little bite-sized pieces of protein bars=

JAMES: -seems to be wiggling something out of the sole of his shoe.-

JAMES: -as it turns out, it is a single playing card. Flips it over the supplies as kind of single-slot emergency sylladex and stores it away.-

JAMES: I CANNOT EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE. BUT QUICKLY.

JAMES: TEND TO THE OTHER PRISONERS. JAKE IS HERE.(edited)

ROXY: =That's so cool... and a good idea= hope u dont mind me stealin ur idea.....

ROXY: =gestures to the other wall= is he over here u think? =taps??? TAPS=

JAMES: IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE. -What with hearing him yowl up a storm before.-

JAMES: TREAD CAREFULLY.

ROXY: never but ill try =two finger salute and BLIPS into the cell next to James'=

JAKE: -lying huddled in his corner like a sad dog, his back turned towards the door. Something about the BLIP stirs him awake, however, and he begins to wake up. Squinting with a bleariness around.- ....Rock and rolloxy?

ROXY: .....baby...... :C

ROXY: i gotta make it quick but do u need a hug?

JAKE: -it even hurts to cry but he's doing it anyway, rolling up to sit.- Yes... 8'C

ROXY: awww cmere =quickly shuffles over to give him a big strong hug=

ROXY: tell me wut u need and we can work it out... idk where we are and idk how many of us are in here....

ROXY: idk where everyone else is

JAKE: -weeps into her shoulder. Two smelly baras hugging it out.- Ive no idea either. Its—

JAKE: Cant i know if my sons are alright?? Oh rox its so cruel.

ROXY: i... wish i knew jakey boy.... if i could id get us a thing to try n get in2 this system but... that needs time and theyd be onto me lol...... not lol

ROXY: but well get outta this mess

JAKE: -scrubs at his face, so blotched and red with tears.- Well... well bust out of here! I know we will!

JAKE: And when we do they wont even know what hit them!

JAKE: Id do so right now if you gave the word. -looks off.- Maybe...

JAKE: Someone can help us?

ROXY: maybe but right now we can help each other =cups his face and kisses his forehead= ROXY: ill go scopin later.... try 2 see whats up

ROXY: maybe i can find every1

ROXY: but rn tell me what u need

JAKE: -smiles for the first time in a few days, warmed by the gesture. But then remembers what he's doing.- Shit uhh—

JAKE: Water and substantial edibles i think is a good start. -rubs his sad empty tum.-

ROXY: its the best start =smiles back at him then gets to work just giving him the same supplies she gave James= just hide em when someone comes u kno

ROXY: prison smugglin drills

JAKE: !!!

JAKE: Cripes this is just like magic...

JAKE: ... -looks around his cell.-

JAKE: Where ought i hide it?

ROXY: mmm ..... i might hafta steal a idea i saw from james hes ur neighbor btw

ROXY: =focuses......... tries to make the one dump sylladex card= this might work i think slip it in ur mustache lol or just like somewhere discreet

JAKE: Holy moly! -accepts the 1 dump sylladex card if she manages it.- Is this what i think it is?

JAKE: -Automatically believing that it's a 1 dump sylladex card so whether she DOES manage it, the card is already what she intends it to be.-

JAKE: -giving it a look over- :D

JAKE: -tucks it into the safety of his back pocket. Sitting on it now.-

ROXY: =bless u jake= good beans bby

ROXY: ill be back sometime keep ur spirits up ok?

JAKE: Yes ma am o whamma! -salutes her swiftfly. His spirits are in much better places than they were before.-

ROXY: good! =poof, she's outta there=

JAKE: -brimming with hope now and makes swift work of these dried fruits. Chugs what he can of the water.-

JAKE: -wiping off his mustache, he feels his willpower RENEWED. Better than ever.-

JAKE: -And if Roxy can pull her magic off, why the blazes can't he??? Jake rolls to stand, channeling that spark of hope to manifestation.-

(DIRK): -he puts the MAN in MANIFEST. extends leg, here is brain ghost dirk.-

(DIRK): Hey, that's the first time you summoned me consciously and not as the result of a homoerotic fantasy. Good job.

JAKE: -jumps as his voice comes up but brightens his scruffy self up immediately.- Dirk!

JAKE: Brain ghost! Youre here!

(DIRK): Yeah.

(DIRK): What are you gonna do with me now that I'm here? -lol and then what-

JAKE: -swiftly whaps the ishades off his face.- Give me that!

(DIRK): What the fuck. -covers his face. DON'T LOOK AT ME. he's being ironic mostly-

JAKE: -thrusting them onto his own face. Instant computer.- Hoo. Alright now. I need to contact the crew.

JAKE: Mind if i hornswoggle you of your pester client? Of course you do! -logging into his account.-

(DIRK): My pester client is imaginary, but alright.

JAKE: Huh? No its not? -It's not, Dirk. Look at it working. How??? Magic is how.-

(DIRK): -fucking incredible-

(DIRK): -obnoxiously hovers behind him-

(DIRK): It's almost like you have the ability to make anything a reality.

JAKE: -typing frantically, heart hammering as it actually DOES seem to work.- Shut up will you???

(DIRK): A dude summons you into his realm of existance just to tell you to shut up. Nice one.

JAKE: -Seeing everyone online makes his insides lurch painfully so he's only half paying attention to BGD. His franticness making his eyes water again as in the middle of the message, the connection severs.- Its—

JAKE: Its breaking up! -says with his concentration fizzling.-

(DIRK): Well don't give up.

(DIRK): Do something about it.

JAKE: Im trying damn you! Cant you see?? -says, clutching at the shades.-

(DIRK): And I'm telling you to try harder.

(DIRK): You have it in you to do this.

JAKE: -practically choking with frustration and wills the last bit of connection out of sheer spite. The last message gets through before cutting off completely.-

(DIRK): ...

(DIRK): There you go.

JAKE: -He is just never going to stop being tearstruck at this point. Obligatorily hands BGD his shades.-

JAKE: -His vision is swimming as his hand drops, looking at brain ghost now. Dirk knows Jake loves him doesn't he? Of course he does, a voice tells Jake predictably. It's what he wants to hear, it's the truth that he knows deep down in his heart and it's what BGD was basically scripted to say.-

JAKE: -So why was he still so miserable? He's gotta ask anyway.-

JAKE: He knows i love him right? Id do anything for him?

(DIRK): ... Of course he knows that.

(DIRK): He's probably driving himself up a wall cuz he can't tell you the same thing.

JAKE: -wipes at his nose.- I miss him something tremendous.

JAKE: You would think dodging near death experiences on a regular basis would make this easier to bear. But it doesnt.

JAKE: It really doesnt.

(DIRK): They're coming for you, you know. -he knows this because jake has to know this.-

(DIRK): ... -offers jake his hand to hold-

JAKE: -takes the hand, too dried up to cry in earnest anymore. His shoulders only sag.- At least i have you.

(DIRK): You'll always have me.

JAKE: -keeps their fingers twined together but gives up once their shoulders brush. Just rests his head against BGD, tired all over again.- Jeez louise dirk....

JAKE: Youre always so.

JAKE: You.

(DIRK): It's no coincidence. -leans on him too-

(DIRK): That's the way you want me to be.

JAKE: Shucks. Then i must be stock full of good ideas. -lets his eyes start to drift closed...-

(DIRK): Must be. -yes shhh sleep. it'll get better soon. just believe in that, jake-

JAKE: -having close company to fall asleep with is infitintely better than sleeping alone. Jake has decided this here and now.-

#tankedGnostomaniac #practicalFamiliar #gunhardyTemerity

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xavierscos · 7 years

Text

Stuff to post w art today:

For the robosona ref:

Yup here’s my botsona!!!! Here’s some extra info on him!!!

· He has inner fans to keep him below a certain temperature (one of them is busted)

· If he gets too flustered/excited and goes past a certain temperature, he’ll blue screen and crash

· If he gets too stressed he’ll do that weird color static thing computer’s do and then he’ll crash

· Has a volume + power button on the side of his head. You can mute him by turning down his volume button (which will then result in him communicating through emojis and such)

· He can use emojis when he’s not muted but he doesn’t really like doing that. The only emoji he uses no matter his volume level is the knife emoji

· Can display words one at a time on his screen (the most used are: various curses such as FUCK, CUNT, ASS, SHIT; YES; NO; MOE; C-3Y). the word ERROR shows up when he crashes/does the blue screen thing

· Pupil can change shape (hearts, eye swirls, money symbols, etc)

· His cat companion Booby (yes based after my cat Boobs) was actually stolen! Yup! This lil bot fella stole a cat from someone’s house and the cat just ?? went with it?? And bonded with the bot??? anyways story is xai was homeless for a lot (he still is but now he travels) so every day when the person went off to work he’d sit at the fence and pet the cat bc booby would hop over it and he’d feed the cat and shit and one day he just. ran off w the cat

Liquid mood-color chart

Purple – standard mood, average

Pink – lovesick/lovestruck, doting, affectionate (tints the purple a bit more pink around ppl he genuinely loves buuut gets really bright when feeling Extra Affectionate)

Blue – sad, sullen (darker means feeling worse)

Red – angry, outraged (brighter means angrier)

Yellow – excited, energetic (different from happy – brighter means more energized)

Dark green – jealous, bitter, resentful

Bright green – disgusted, grossed out,

Pinkish-red – embarrassed, flustered, nervous,

Blue-green – apologetic, guilty

Neon/cyan blue – Frightened, panicking, scared

------

For the Duckpaw/Perse + alters

Hey yall as u kno duckpaw/perse has DID so I,, finally made art of her alters anyways let’s go

Mudpuddle | Mariana | She/Her. She’s the essential “caretaker” of the system. Makes sure the body isn’t damaged beyond repair and will take care of the body after Duck/Perse has had a bad episode. | She constantly grooms her fur so it curls upwards slightly rather than Duckpaw’s straightforward style. Speaks in a soft, low tone. | Curls her hair w/ a curler. Wears blouses, dress pants, boots. |

Patches | Dudley | They/Them. Tends to stick up more. Will front when Duck/Perse is being pressured to do shit she doesn’t like and/or recalling blocked out memories. Irritable, snarky, snide. Tends to be rather smug and a know-it-all. Yells @ ppl who pisses them off. | Doesn’t groom as much as Duck or Mudpuddle, so fur kinda sinks down ish. Not really too far but. Still spiky like Duck’s. Cranky, loud. Will typically let u kno they’re fronting | Wears suits and ties, or dress shirts and pants. Wears hair up in a bun.

Bugs | Bud | He/Him. Prefers to isolate himself, distances himself away from friends and shit. Doesn’t interact much unless necessary. Sleeps a lot and eats a lot. | Will run off from camp and hide out in territory. Doesn’t groom, collects dirt in fur. Doesn’t really talk around others either. | Won’t change out of pajamas, doesn’t brush or wash hair, locks himself in the room.

----

That ross/perse picture

Oooohhh boy lemme dive into the history of human au ross + Persephone real quick uh

Trigger warnings: Physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental/emotional abuse, psychological trauma, death, pedophilia

Ross had 4 other siblings and he was the youngest – his mother died after giving birth to him, so he always kinda carried around this guilt that he was the reason his mom was dead. His dad always kinda was distant/didn’t spoil him as much as the others, but he still cared for ross and shit. When ross was about 10 or so he was driving with his siblings while he talked 2 ronnie on the phone. Another car kinda rammed into them and they got in a pretty bad car wreck which Ronnie heard over the phone so he called ross’ family and shit. Reyes and hollyanne and his dad all came and a couple of ross’ siblings died on scene; he was hospitalized with one other sibling. He had a broken arm and a couple fractured ribs, bruising and lacerations but he was alive – his sibling was in a coma and didn’t come out.

Ross’ dad was kinda resentful bc he lost all of his kids besides ross and he already kinda resented ross for taking away his wife so he like. flat out ignored ross, didn’t talk to him, didn’t really do anything. Hollyanne started picking ross up to and from school bc he started missing bc his dad wouldn’t drive him. Eventually ross and his dad moved in w hollyanne and reyes (and then addar and Persephone came along). ross’ dad started saying some nasty comments over a period of a year or two that started to bring ross’ waaaayyyy down so ross turned to another guy (said guy was 18, ross was 13-14) who flattered him and told him nice shit. This guy took advantage of ross + ross’ insecurities and slept with ross more than once (despite ross saying he wasn’t comfortable the first few times)

The family caught ross + the guy in his room one night and hollyanne/reyes were pissed @ the guy bc this dude is 18,,preying on a 14 y/o so they kicked the dude out (they started filing for charges/restraining order after) but ross’ dad was pissed @ ross bc this wasn’t “right” (ross’ dad was a firm believer in abstinence and also this is an adult with a child and ross’ dad kinda blamed ross for not realizing what was happening was bad) so ross’ dad’s belittling started getting worse and worse afterwards and one day ross kinda said something back and ross’ dad hit him over the face and hollyanne/reyes were like “alright you have to go like right fucking now” so they kicked ross’ dad out and he left w/out looking back and ross hasn’t spoken to him in a while

Ross is now a bitter dude who thinks his only value in life is sex/sexual purpose and he doesn’t believe he can amount to anything good so instead of risking shit (like failing grades or job interviews or whatever) he bribes ppl 2 either do shit for him or give him shit (take a wild guess abt how the briberies work)

Persephone has like 98% of her memories from her childhood blocked. Her mother died a little bit after her first birthday and no one knew who her dad was so she went into care under her uncle and her uncle was,, kinda poor so he had a bunch of friends/family he lived with. Persephone saw a lot of death growing up (people overdosed on drugs, sickness related, people got shot) and that kinda stuck with her through her life so she has a phobia of death stimming from that. Also some of her uncle’s friends started getting uh, handsy with her and touching her and shit so that has ,, stuck with her. She’s blocked out the memories but if she tries to recall them she’ll have a bad mental reaction. Eventually she managed to book it during the middle of another move (the family moved around a lot) and she kinda wandered the streets for a few days until hollyanne/reyes spotted her and took her in. eventually after a little bit of living w them she came out as a trans girl so now holly and reyes r helping her with her transition n shit. Also they got her professionally diagnosed

When she was in like 7th grade ross had brought home some dude he worked with on a science project. The guy was a senior but took some lower classes and shit,, also he’s addar. Anyways addar was always rlly friendly w Persephone and gave her a lot of brotherly attention and holly was eventually like “Hey do u mind babysitting ross and perse while reyes and I go out and do some errands” and addar was like “sure!!!” eventually they all got super close and addar moved in(?) so now theyre all one big happy family :”)

Uh characters mentioned belong 2: :devberryboats: :devbabysiut: :devppurble:

((pls don’t read this if the triggers will cause bad shit just lemme kno what u wanna hear abt the history ill give u an abridged version of where ur charas r involved))

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