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becca-e-barnes · 2 years

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I love your writing, it’s literally so good oml

Here’s a thought that I can’t get out of my head pornstar stucky edging the absolute life out of reader 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

OOOH this is so hot!! I love this idea with a really bratty reader? Like maybe the guys came home and caught you playing with your vibe.

So maybe they've been edging you for so long, your legs are twitching in Steve's grip. He's sat behind you, his cock achingly hard, holding your legs spread while Bucky works you with his fingers and tongue.

Bucky never lets you finish. Each time you get close, he pulls away entirely, letting the pleasure dissipate before you can fully give in to it.

"You're so fucking stubborn. Drives me crazy knowing we have to do so much to break you." Steve growls in your ear as Bucky dives back in once more. Bucky's chin is slick, evidence of your need all over his face but he's nowhere near ready to give you what you want.

No matter how much you whine and squirm, you're held in place. "Don't care. 'm not saying sorry." You pant, rolling your hips against Bucky's face as much as Steve will allow.

"That's up to you, honey. But if you want to cum tonight, you know you need to apologise for touching yourself without permission." Steve smirks, enjoying your groans because the last thing you want to do is stay denied but the second last thing you want is to apologise.

"M-maybe if you two fucked me better, I wouldn't need my vibe." Your brain is so muddled, that seems like a good idea to taunt them but you know you're in trouble when Bucky's fingers stop.

"I think you're forgetting how we fucked you stupid last night, huh? Remember you cummin' so many times you begged to stop. Maybe your slutty little pussy needs a reminder." Bucky's beyond pissed off now but his is always a quiet anger.

"I'll hold her, Steve. Your turn." Steve doesn't need to be told twice, swapping places with Bucky but laying you on your back. His thick cock plunges into you while Bucky holds your legs and oh, this is going to be torture.

Steve always hits just right. Both men are so big, the stretch is delicious but when your body is already so sensitive, it's almost overwhelming.

"This is your own fuckin' fault. Stop whining." Steve grunts, fucking himself in and out of your dripping hole, pausing when he thinks you're getting too close.

"Shouldn't have touched what's ours. You don't play with our cunt unless we tell you to." Bucky reminds you. Your eyes are rolling back in your head, each thrust from Steve giving a torturous kind of pleasure.

"S-Steve..." You sob, clenching and fluttering around his length, whimpering at the loss as he pulls out and stops again.

"It's not takin' much to get you right to the edge, is it baby? You're so worked up on Stevie's fat dick. He feels good, doesn't he? He'd let you feel even better if you were a good girl. All you gotta do is say you're sorry. Maybe if you call him daddy, he'll forget all this ever happened." Bucky muses, playing with one of your nipples. Steve looks up from your face to Bucky's, smirking because if you just give in, those men are going to do their best to ruin you together.

"Eat sh-shit, Sir." You whisper, regretting it almost instantly. You need to cum and you need to cum now. Why the fuck are you letting your mouth run away with you?

"God, you're annoying." Steve groans, fucking you relentlessly, so hard and fast you think you might cry with joy. But right as you're about to finish, he stops once more and this time, you might cry from frustration.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #stucky x reader #stucky x reader smut #ps!stucky #I WANTED TO POST A DBF! FIC TONIGHT #AND BRING BACK DBF FRIDAYS #BUT IT ISN'T FINISHED YET #I really like where it's at so far #I have a bit of a renewed love for him #I have so many asks rn that I'm totally obsessed with #and I'm hopping between both jobs so much this week I haven't had a chance to write as much as I want #I'm so tired #Lowkey wanna take a couple of days off work and do another themed day #but idk what theme I want #I'm back to the coffee shop tonight #But I start a kind of new role on Monday!#two weeks sooner than I was supposed to

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scaly-freaks · 2 days

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Just read the newest chapter and I desperately need to tell you how amazing your writing is. I can’t quite explain the feelings that Aegon gave me in this chapter. I genuinely felt afraid as if I was in Amara’s place, like he seems so sinister and I don’t know if I genuinely just wanted to think of him as like a fun guy who ‘loves’ her so I ignored his red flags but this chapter has struck me. Your writing is so entrancing and each character is fleshed out so beautifully. I loved the part where Rhaenyra and Alicent met and I also loved how you wrote about Alicent’s marriage to Viserys and Rhaenyra’s feelings about this, because it’s also how I felt when I watched the show and I think many people sometimes choose to interpret it differently. The last part with Aegon and Amara actually made me hold my breath the whole way through. Like I cant explain it but your writing is so amazing there’s so much tension and you can feel each characters emotions so deeply. Aegon actually terrified me towards the end and it reminded me of earlier on in the previous chapters where he got annoyed with Amara when he realised what she was doing when he opened up to her. The way he was treating Jaehaera was so cute and then my jaw literally dropped when he was talking to Amara about how he was plotting on her on his injury bed like wow… You’re a wonderful writer and I can’t wait for the next chapter. <3

Thank you so much! I really, really love writing dark characters (no, really) so it felt like homecoming letting him finally lean into it. With a fantasy fic, there's more pressure for me than with a modern AU to deal with plot over characterisation, so sometimes I want to go full dark and just dive into the psyche, but then it's like urgh I gotta handle the politics, hang on -

I think Aegon definitely wants to be the fun guy, and is finding it difficult to face the fact that he can no longer be that same guy he was. He's been through a war, was incapacitated, still has scars, is the king etc etc. Just like Amara can no longer be "just a jester." It's like the sprouting of wisdom teeth - it's happening, and there will never be a time before you knew what it felt like to have them sprout. They both have to deal with it. I love that he Stockholmed you into wanting to believe he's lighthearted though bc this plot twist must have hit.

Writing Aegon is so.....URGH. Because he's such a fucked up character in canon no matter how you look at it, but I prefer him that way. I can't read depictions of him where he's whitewashed because it doesn't hit, but sometimes I can feel myself wanting to whitewash his edges a bit just to keep some warmth in the story (a bit of levity here and there ya know). But I dropped all that and leaned into the aggression of his wants and desires (he wants the throne, he wants his mother to love him, he wants his brother's undying allegiance, he wants Rhaenyra to bend the knee and never rise again) and realised, hey, if he's as intense with them everywhere else, he's definitely wanted Amara the same way but decided to "pretend" otherwise because he liked her personality more than he's ever liked his own. In all honesty he's probably jealous deep down of how loved she is in her family and wants a slice of the pie by being the object of her love ("sucking on the back of her leg to stay warm" ethel cain vibes).

And ARGH Rhaenyra...so happy with how she's turning out :") I wondered about show!Nyra and if she ever wondered what it was like for Alicent because I think she was more empathetic than Book!Nyra. And then how any woman feels in this medieval world knowing a male relative has done something as heinous as sexually assault another woman (Alicent with Aegon on the show is a clear example). They can feel however they want about it, but the rules are that they have to then move past it. Rhaenyra moved past it and decided to not blame Alicent for marrying him (at least in my fic) but also couldn't think of her father as a rapist. It's just how it ended up (but she knows deep down that he is).

Thank you so much for this lovely ask and sorry for the yapfest!!

#the god of wine and rainbow lamps #aegon x amara #my oc: amara #asks

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xtrafluffyteddy · 2 years

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Snooping

paring: Eddie munson x reader, Steve harrington x reader, Billy Hargrove x reader

Mentions: snooping, past abuse, sad family history, talks of drug abuse, happy ending!

Your out of town and the boys snoop around your room

“Okay boys I’ll be back next week” you say as you set your luggage by the front door “don’t fuck up the house don’t let eddie touch the washer and uhh no ragers without me” you blow them all a joking kiss waving as you get in your can “bye boys!” You call out as the cab speeds away.

“Soooo” Steve begins looking around at the other two in front of him standing in the middle of the living room “what do we wanna do” Eddie questions “we could uhhh” billy at a loss for ideas “why don’t we uhhh maybe look through her room? I mean we only know so much about her but I think that’s the only stuff she wants us to know” Billy suggests looking towards your closed door wondering what secrets you have from them “wouldn’t that be wrong” Steve questions “nah it’ll be cool we just gotta put stuff back where it was is all” Eddie stated already heading towards your room.

When they enter the room they see the usual stuff like your band posters, fairy lights, messy bed covered in what seems like hundreds of pillows. “I call the bed!” Eddie says as he dives down to the floor digging around under your bed for secrets “I call dresser” bully says making his way over to the hand painted furniture beginning to dig through the top drawer “guess that leaves me the closet” Steve grumbles as he walks into said closet turning on the light as he looks through everything.

“Guys look!” Eddie calls pulling out a dusty yearbook “oh yeah she graduated after us that’s right well after most of us” Steve and Billy look at Eddie who just flips them off before cracking open the book “awe look at how cute” Eddie says as he points to a awkward smiling you the sides of your head shaved “huh I didn’t know she had a huge scar on the side of her head” Steve comments pointing out the jagged scar that starts at your hairline and disappears behind your ear “hm weird wonder what happened” billy questions deciding to ask about it later. They all went back to searching after that as Eddie continued digging under the bed.

Steve was the next one to make a discovery holding up a box that said “memories” on it “guys look it’s full of old awards and photos and stuff” Steve says as he cracks open the dusty box shooing away any spiders crawling out picking up the photo on the very top “awe look at how little she was” he shows the other two a picture of little you in a pink princess dress looking pissed as ever before he flips over the back of the photo the description on the back saying “she’s upset I won’t let her dress like” he squints at the smudged print “I can’t read it” he shrugs as he continues digging finding a lot of third place ribbons and photos of you through the years for some reason in every photo it’s only your dad in the picture with you and the few photos with your mom in them had her face scratched out “huh no wonder she never talks about her family wonder what happened” he questions as he continues looking finding the usual old friendship bracelets, a high school diploma, and other old memories you had stored away.

Next it was Billy who finally found something interesting in your underwear drawer, it’s not as gross at it sounds as he takes out what he thinks is your diary “guys look” he holds up the little red book wiggling it a little “I dunno man photos are one thing but that’s her private writing” Steve replies swallowing thickly “it’ll only be a couple of pages and if it gets to personal I’ll just close it how’s that sound?” He raises a brow at the other two who just shrug and nod “dear diary” he begins “today I moved into my own house, guess dad finally got tired of me” he winced at that line frowning a bit “I don’t blame him my drug problem was bad and if he wanted any chance of winning mom back I had to be out of the picture” some of the words looked like they were smudged from water or what he could guess tears “dated October 13, 1988” he finishes he frowns at the thought of you feeling alone in this big house then curious on how you were able to afford it.

“Dude look” Steve points to a faded photo that fell out. Billy leans down to pick it up opening it as gentle as possible only to see a little you with a woman who looks just like you the woman squeezing your chubby cheeks love in her eyes “dude there’s writing on the back” Eddie says. Billy flips it over and swallows thickly at the little kid handwriting “mommy left today, i wasn’t a good enough girl” Billy can’t help but sniff as he places the photo gently back in your diary and put it back where it belongs “let’s get out of here” he sounds choked up as puts everything back where it should be the mood now somber.

“Hey boys!” You call out from the living room wondering where they are “turns out my flight doesn’t leave till Friday so y’all got 3 days with lovely little me” you look around for them finding them in your room somber looks on their faces “man I wasn’t gone for that long were you planning to mope the whole I was gonna be gone?” You try joking before frowning “what’s wrong?” You look at all three of them “we looked through your stuff” Eddie mumbles “I’m sorry what I couldn’t hear you?” You say confused as you set down your bags slowly “we looked through your stuff” billy repeats looking up at you to gauge your reaction “well y’all could’ve just asked first, y’all each get one questions to ask” you state as you take a seat with them

“I guess I’ll go first” Eddie says as he looks at you “what’s up with the scar on your head why haven’t you ever told us about it” he questions as he reaches to push back your hair revealing the purplish scar “oh that I was uh I was having a bad drug trip” you begin looking down at your hands as you think back on it “I attacked someone I think and well they defended themselves when I came down from it I was checked into a hospital with 24 staples on the side of my head” you shrug as you reach up caressing the scar gently “it doesn’t bother me anymore” you finish as Eddie nods giving you a small sad smile.

“Guess I’ll go next” Steve says as he toys with the hem of his yellow sweater “in uh every photo I found your mom was scratched out why?” You swallow as you think about the woman that has haunted you for years “she uh she blamed me for everything to seemed” you began “it was my fault she got pregnant young, my fault she couldn’t go to college, my fault she didn’t get to live her life to the fullest” you finish you voice cracking a bit as you quickly wipe away a tear “I was better off without her I didn’t need that kind of negativity in my life” you reassured them as well as yourself

“Alright then” Billy breathes as he looks at you taking your hand gently “I read your diary only a page only a page” he soothes “why did your dad kick you out? How could afford to even live here?” He looks at you as you think for a moment before swallowing thickly “well uh…” you open your mouth a few times trying to find a way to describe that time of your life “I had just turned 18, my dad had to bail me out of jail I guess that was the straw that broke three camels back for him, he said I had to get out by that night, I couldn’t blame him honestly I know he was trying to get back with my mom for so long and I was only getting in the way” you sniff wiping your eye again “and I couldn’t afford this house not right away I was homeless for a little bit couch hopping and all that but I finally found a job worked my ass off and now I live here” you finish and shrug as you hug one of your pillows close.

“I told myself the day I moved here that I would never turn away someone who needed my help so they would never have to go through what I went through and then you showed up at my door a few days later Billy” you give them all a soft smile “I don’t regret anything that happened in my life I don’t mind having sad memories, it reminds me I’m human that I’m alive” you hear a chorus of sniffs as billy, Eddie and Steve pull you into a tight hug squishing you between all of them.

“Boys it’s okay really it’s okay” you reassure laughing a hit as you try to soothe them “how bout we order some shitty Chinese food and watch some movies tonight? Before I leave?” They all just nod and sniff wiping their eyes not expecting someone like you to go through what you went through and still be kind to the likes of them.

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie st4 #eddie munson stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie my beloved #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #billy hargrove stranger things #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader

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commando-rogers · 1 year

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I was writing abt this in the tags of a post from @neil-gaiman but I’m having too many thoughts I need to put them in a post because mister Gaiman sir this is absolutely brilliant and I love it.

Aziraphale is reading a tale of two cities!! and my immediate thought was “ok what does this mean” because I love the little Easter eggs and symbolism artists put in. first thought was of course two cities = heaven and hell which is just objectively fucking hilarious thank you Mr Gaiman. It was the best of times it was the worst of times it was the end times?????

I’m not the most familiar with the novel but I know it deals in part with the French Revolution/the bastille which is also very funny re: the episode 3 cold open. Again not super familiar though so anyone is welcome to shed more light on this and if there’s more there than my sensible chuckle (as I’m sure there is)

BUT I looked up the entire first paragraph/sentence to see the rest of it and oh my god.

“…it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness…”

“…we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way…”

“…in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”

Charles Dickens does Good Omens. I’m losing my mind this is so hilariously spot on to the themes of Good Omens, of COURSE the poster features Aziraphale reading it. I LOVE this. He even seems to be near the very beginning, with a page near the very beginning marked???

I love tiny little details like this that are so easily missed but clearly had so much thought put into them by the creator. Kudos to Neil Gaiman and anyone involved with creating the poster who added this lovely little detail. I’m sure I’m not the first to catch onto this but just noticed it and it made me incredibly happy!!!! Of course I’ll have to go back and scour the rest of the poster later for more I can’t wait- already seeing Catch-22 on the bookshelf too oh my GOD I can’t even dive into picking apart all that means right now. Treasure island and pride and prejudice- oh my GOD pride and prejudice!!! If that isn’t Aziraphale and Crowley to a T!!!!! (not familiar w treasure island someone please feel free to take that and run with it.) Also why is there a camera what’s that saying hm. And are all 3 hands (hour minute second) on the clock pointing to 6 because that’s fucking HILARIOUS

@neil-gaiman if you happen upon this post just know you and any other artists involved made my symbolism-loving heart very happy with this poster!! brb gotta go ponder all of the Aziraphale/Crowley-Elizabeth Bennet/Mr. Darcy parallels

#good omens #LOVE me a good cultural reference that reveals deeper symbolism about the material referencing it #hm I gotta go rewatch season 1 and pay attention to the leitmotifs. see what we find there #mr Gaiman if you see this thank you so very much for all you do to make people happy with your art and your time!!!

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moonflowerchanniesgirl · 2 years

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Curses and Blessings

Pairing: idol chan x reader

Genre: Drabble, slightly spicy, best friend seonghwa, forward chan,

Warning: anxious reader? Curse words, reader wants to fuck chan that's the whole story lol, indecent thoughts

Summary: You’re backstage reading the script with Chan but you can only really focus on wanting to fuck him. You really gotta be a professional and keep your feelings to yourself but can you really?

Word Count: 1k

Authors note: this is not an accurate representation of stray kids but an interpretation based on an idea that stems from them.

Just a short thought I had while working on some longer stories lol, enjoy. If any good smut writers want to take this and write a smut for it be my guest.

You cursed every single star in existence for everything that was happening at this exact moment. For the fact that you were invited as one of the hosts for this award ceremony, the fact that your cohost was Bangchan of Stray Kids, the fact that the two of you were the only ones in the waiting room at the moment, the fact that he was so handsome in just a black hoodie and black shorts as he read over his notes, the fact that you had neglected to bring a jacket and the ac for all of backstage was on super high and the fact that Bangchan was not just super handsome, he was a gentleman that noticed your obvious discomfort.

“You sure you don’t want my hoodie?” He asked for the third time as you failed to cover up another obvious shiver.

“No I’m fine,” you flashed him as professional a smile as you could. You needed to be professional because you could not reveal what you wanted to do indecent things with the man ever since you happened to watch the Wolfgang performance on Kingdom. You had a thing for strong arms and wonderful abs and the fact that he was such a nice gentleman? Perfect combo known as your ideal type. But you were here in a professional setting not here to tell him that you wanted him to fuck your brains out. You thanked your amazing willpower for only thinking about how much you wanted him to bend you over the table a few times.

“It really would be no bother, I’m a bit hot anyway,” he began unzipping his hoodie but you quickly held your hand up.

“No really I’m perfectly fine BangChan-sshi,” you were barely holding yourself together as it was, how on earth would you survive if he was wearing short sleeves? How would you hold yourself together if you were surrouned by his scent when already the few sniffs you had gotten when you two stood close had you squeezing your thighs together?

“You can just call me Chan or Chris comfortably,” he told you for the second time that night. The first you had semi-ignored with a smile and a nod.

“I’d prefer Bangchan-sshi if that’s alright,” you said and you regretted it the moment you noticed the frown on his face.

“Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?”

“No, not at all!”

“You just seem to jump every time I move even a little bit and you’re obviously freezing but won’t take a hoodie. If I make you uncomfortable I can go get a manager or a member of staff to sit with us?” It broke your heart for him to think that he was the problem so the next words out your mouth were….not your best.

“I‘ve been holding myself back from telling you that I want to fuck you since you’ve walked in so, of course, I can’t take your hoodie,” you blurted out before you quickly stood up. His mouth was wide open in an oh shape and you felt sick to your stomach about how he probably thought about you. “Excuse me,” you squeaked out as you ran out of the room as fast as you could.

You had no idea where you were going but you just needed to not be in front of Chan as he processed what you just told him. Luckily, you spotted your best friend Seonghwa in the hallway on his phone.

“Hwa!” You cried out and he turned his head up and immediately opened his arms for you to dive in.

“What happened to you?” He asked as he patted you on the back.

“Just fucked up majorly,” you whimpered into his chest and you felt him push you slightly off to look at your face. You felt how hot your face was and could only imagine how red you were.

“Mess up a line?” He asked, confusion clear in his voice.

“So much worse,” you cringed as you thought about what you said.

“Finally told Bangchan you want to fuck him?” The look on your face must have given the answer away as he then gasped and said, “no way!” You told Seonghwa everything, including your little issue of self control over thoughts of Bangchan and while it was embarrasing that he knew, at least you wouldn’t have to explain yourself.

“He thought he made me uncomfy so I kinda just blurted out I wanted to fuck him,” you once again dived into Hwa’s chest.

“And what did he say back?”

“Nothing, he just stared at me with his mouth open like I was crazy. How the fuck am I supposed to face him let alone host with him?” You wanted the ground to just open up and swallow you whole. Already in your brain, you were forming plans to maybe break your leg and get out of hosting when Hwa suddenly got very stiff.

“You're going to have to think of something pretty quick,” he whispered in your ear.

“Why?” You asked in a whisper not quite sure why you both were suddenly whispering.

“He’s walking down the hall clearly looking for you,” Hwa whispered back and now it was your turn to stiffen up.

“Hide me before he sees me!” You whisper shouted in panic.

“Little too late for that.”

“Hi Seonghwa,” you heard Chan say almost directly behind you. You still had your head in Hwa’s chest and couldn’t bring yourself to move to face Chan.

“Hi Chan Hyung,” you heard Hwa say with what you imagined as a strained grin on his face.

“We need to get back to the dressing room to practice our lines,” Chan said simply and you were scared to pull away from Hwa but at the end of the day, you had your professional duties to attend to.

“Alright,” you said as you loosened your grip around Hwa and stared down at the floor to see Chan’s boots. Something black was thrust towards you and you looked to see that it was Chan holding up his hoodie.

“Take the hoodie, it's quite chilly,” he said while you just stared at the article of clothing with confusion. With a sigh, Chan moved to place the hoodie over your shoulders and the warm vanilla scent enveloped your body. He then started pushing you from behind as he let out a cheerful, “bye Seonghwa, good luck on the performance later!” And you heard Hwa let out a very confused “bye” back.

Chan had essentially pushed you back into the waiting room before your brain managed to restart and you hastily jumped a little bit away from him. The scent that surrounded your body made you a bit dizzy in the best way possible but the situation itself was more dizzying.

“Bangchan-sshi, the hoodie, I- what I said earlier,” you stammered to form complete sentences while Chan chuckled and closed the door. You finally looked at his face and he had such a wide grin on his face as he moved closer to you while you moved back.

Your back hit the wall and he placed his hands on the wall on either side of you and trapped you in position.

“You don’t have to explain anything as long as you just tell me what you want,” he said as he leaned close enough for you to feel his breath on your face.

“What I want?”

“Yeah, what have you wanted to do since I walked in the door?”

“I wanted to fuck you,” you answered honestly mostly from the shock. Chan let out a laugh as he leaned in closer so that his lips ghosted over your ear.

“Good because thats what I want too.”

#bangchan #bangchan fic #stray kids bangchan #stray kids chan #stray kids imagine #stray kids fic #stray kids drabble #moonflower writings

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theirprofoundbond · 8 months

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Last night I had a dream that I was at a semi-formal party in a beautiful place. The party was being held in honor of a fandom friend I hadn’t yet met, but I was about to meet them and I was very much looking forward to it.

And then I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. I was wearing my regular around-the-house clothes, I didn’t have any makeup on, and it looked like I hadn’t even combed my hair.

Right then, the guest of honor arrived. I caught just a glimpse of them—they looked fab—before I turned and fled.

The sensation of regret, of you’ve totally fucked this up, was absolutely visceral. I couldn’t shake the feeling all day long, and at some point, it occurred to me that the dream encapsulated what fandom has been like for me for the last year or so: want something very badly (to participate, to post, to publish), and run in the opposite direction. Feel very sad about it.

Part of that is self-inflicted. I want to finish the epilogue before I publish any of my other recent fics or dive back into tumblr. I don’t want it to appear that I’ve abandoned a story I consider unfinished. I’m a slow writer, and I’ve had some ups and downs with my mental and physical health, so I’ve chosen to spend my limited coins on writing, rather than fandom.

But lately I’ve been considering that the above is not the only reason, or even the biggest reason, for why I run in the opposite direction from what I want. Or, it might be more accurate to say: why I seem to have lost my fannish voice.

In the last year, I’ve had truly awful experiences with two separate, very popular people in the fandom. I can’t talk about the people in question, or the things that happened, because these people are very much adored and no one would believe me—a relative nobody by comparison.

(Or maybe some people would, because they’ve experienced the same things, and we’re all too afraid to speak up because we think we’re alone.)

But I’d rather not be dogpiled by these people’s followers, or have my safety threatened. I still want to participate in this fandom, and I intend to keep making things for it.

Who these people are isn’t the point. My point is, the things that happened with them really shook me up and shredded my self-confidence. Every time I think of a post I want to make—even the most casual things, like a headcanon or something that happened to me that day—what I hear in my head is, Better just stay quiet and keep your head down, or, Who would want to hear what you have to say? So most of the time I say nothing and make myself almost invisible.

And for the last year I’ve been thinking the underlying reason was, “I really just gotta keep working on this epilogue!”

But actually, the bigger reason is fear. Fear so substantial that it showed up loud and clear in my subconscious: You’re not good enough—get the fuck out of here.

I don’t want to run in the opposite direction from what I want, or stay silent when I have something I want to say. So I’m going to post this, and I’m going to make other posts to get comfortable with it again, and hopefully I’m going to chip away at the fear and self-doubt.

I’m looking forward to seeing you around the party ❤️️

#rachaelly reflects

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everythingodysseydd · 1 year

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SO late getting into this game, but I’ve just gotta say…

What makes Odyssey so compelling as a fanfic writer is that it’s just SUCH a masterpiece and SUCH a disaster all at once. It’s hilariously aggravating. If you’re interested in a SAGA… I’ve got a hell of an example for you that I just can’t get over…

A while back I was working on a sequence around the Monger scenes in Korinth and got caught in a plot hole... I side with Brasidas there (obviously), but when it comes down to it, it’s a hell of a gamble, even for a great pair of thighs…

Unwilling to change course, I figured Brasidas is one of the greatest strategists of his era, right? Surely I can find a way to make his reasoning more compelling than “it’s secluded” 😑

But y’all….

Turns out it’s WAY deeper already.

No fabrication needed.

I started digging into what makes this cave sacred...

At first I was looking for records of the cave itself - it’s an odd city landmark, so I figure it’d be mentioned somewhere. Nope. Entirely fictitious from what I can tell. So then I needed to know why Ubi included this random-ass cave in the middle of town.

So my next dive was into Apollo and Aphrodite (the city’s main deities, but that was a dead end too.

I was ready to craft a complete smoke screen when I stumbled across another tidbit…

Through (WAYYY too much) research (especially for a fanfic I sincerely hope NO ONE reads 🤣)… I learned that Korinthia also served a local nymph called Peirene, who had a fountain in Korinthia. Ubisoft even included this fountain - it’s across from the Temple of Apollo.

This fountain was allegedly fed by an underground spring that came from Akrokorinth. This spring was the main site of Peirene’s worship. Curious enough, this spring is also on the game map… and it just so happens to be significant to the plot…the place we meet our favorite hetaera… Anthousa 👀

Coincidence? I think not.

Even more… our Sacred Cave sits loosely on the path between the spring on Akrokorinth and the fountain in Korinthia proper. AND its central chamber is full of water. This seems pretty decisive to me.

I’ve stumbled across a gem.

If Anthousa (and possibly the hetaera as a whole) revere Peirene and this cave is a place of a rawer connection to her, then maybe Brasidas’ plan is already deeper than I realized…

At this point, I think I have enough to craft something with actual roots.

BUT THEN….

Before writing the scene I went down to get a better look around and discovered it’s ALREADY being used for worship of a male deity. A HUGE snag in my theory.

That is… until I discovered the statue is Ares.

The whole thing was baffling, especially considering Ares’ common characterization and the reputation of Korinthia… The two seem very much at odds.

But ya know who in Korinthia WOULD worship Ares…? You know who would turn a sacred site of Peirene (the weeping mother) into an altar to the brutal, ruthless god of war, Ares?

The Monger 😳

And what makes Brasidas think we could easily lure the Monger way down inside a dark, secluded cave?! Because it’s a place he ALREADY goes.

My mind is blown.

Holy Hell… And there’s too many weird in-game references and coincidences… it HAS to be intentional… SOMEBODY PLANNED THIS.

Brasidas’ plan is fucking BRILLIANT.

It’s sheer, undeniable poetry.

What’s the ONE way you could kill The Monger while defying Anthousa outright and still earn her respect… still walk away with the information you need?

You could spill The Monger’s blood on the sacred ground he defiled in the name of brutality and bloodlust.

You could restore Korinthia’s most famous mother to her rightful place and wash away The Monger’s power with her sacred tears, reclaiming the place of her rawest beauty and restoring her worship.

You could let the literal gore of the Monger wash up into the fountain, a sign for the whole city that his reign is unmistakably ended.

Its so logical. It’s so ‘cut the bullshit and get straight to the heart of the matter.’ It’s so fucking Brasidas…

The longer you sit on it, the more thematically layered and gorgeous and brilliant it becomes. And it’s just plausible enough for the player to gamble on… exchanging Anthousa’s plan for something less theatrical, but more personal, more meaningful. And saving lives in the process. Its crazy enough to work.

I’m CONVINCED this whole web is somebody’s silent masterpiece. And yet somehow it never became more than subtext (excuse me while I shake my fist at the sky).

AND this SAME CHARACTER… At Amphipolis… takes my CASUAL COMMENT and is like, “Hey, FUCK strategy, let’s just run over there RIGHT NOW on a whim ‘cause you said so!!!”

Can you say plot hole?!

WTF Ubisoft?! 🤣

Odyssey… the perfect balance of STUNNING depth of detail and WILD, GLARING gaps… a writer’s playground! I’m completely hooked by the intricacy and completely frustrated by … basically everything else!

So… if you’re wondering what I’m up to for nanowrimo, I’m over here frantically patching holes and dumping water over the sides to keep this glorious ship just a tad above the waterline 🤣

#ac odyssey #brasidas #the monger #anthousa #port of lawlessness #ainulindaelynn

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mango-jpeg · 1 year

Text

After lunch, while the rest of the camp is lounging in front of oscillating fans indoors to escape the heat, the senior staff piles into the poorly ventilated living room of Varka’s house. It’s midsummer, and that means staff evaluations.

“Any final thoughts for Bennett?” Jean calls out, to generally positive mumblings. Above them, the ceiling fan creaks laboriously, stirring the hot air into a weak gasp against the sweat on Diluc’s brow.

Jean gets the only decent seat in the room, a moth-eaten armchair, while everyone else crams in around the coffee table and tries not to sweat on one another too much. Diluc could probably snag the chair, he’s the one taking notes after all, but he’s not a monster. Instead he’s shoved into the corner of the sagging loveseat while Keqing tries and fails not to slump into his side, the deflated cushions doing their best to deposit her in his lap. On her other side Ganyu is sitting half on the arm, half on the cushion while she works on a friendship bracelet safety-pinned to her shorts. Aether and Lumine are on the floor with their head counsellor binders open in their laps, Gorou’s perched on one of the rickety kitchen chairs braiding Kokomi’s hair, badly, who’s more occupied with her outtrip planning than the topic of their actual meeting.

“Since he nearly burned down the teepee he’s been on his best behaviour,” Tighnari remarks, not looking up from the materials he’s spread on the floor in front of him; dried leaves and flowers he’s arranging on card stock. Cyno’s leaned up against his shoulder, watching his hands with the kind of luminous attention that makes it impossible to look directly at them. They’ve truly ascended to a new tier of PDA, where even the most innocent of contact looks embarrassingly intimate.

“I saw him with Timmy this morning,” Diluc says. “He seemed really good with him.”

“Oh and Timmy is a total nightmare,” Aether groans, his sister nodding vehemently in agreement. “I’ve never seen such a homesick, wet blanket of a camper. Bennett is working overtime with that kid.”

“Maybe we should rotate him off cabins next session, if it’s that bad,” Jean suggests.

“Yeah, just gotta make sure he doesn’t think it’s a punishment,” Lumine says, wryly.

“What if we—” Keqing begins to say, but is dramatically interrupted by the door slamming open. To be fair, the door is barely hanging on to its hinges so this happens every other time it’s opened, but when Diluc sees who’s in the doorway he can’t help a quiet groan.

Kaeya strolls in with an armload of candy, his stupid over-large aviators precariously balanced on the tip of his nose. “Stopped by the tuck shop,” he announces, unnecessarily, then dumps his spoils on the coffee table. Everyone dives for the candy—hardened gummy worms, dried fruits, knockoff sourpatch kids shaped like broccoli—as if they don’t gorge themselves on it everyday.

Kaeya’s changed since sailing into no-less scandalous jorts and a staff shirt from two summers ago that’s slightly too tight now that he’s apparently a gym rat. The sleeves cut into the flex of his biceps and Diluc looks back to his screen.

“Any other notes for Bennett?” He prompts, tired.

“What’ve you got?” Aether asks around a mouthful of banana chips. Diluc reads out his notes; attentive to campers’ needs, must build confidence in himself, continue to avoid eco activities, great involvement in programming.

“Sounds good to me,” Lumine says, serenely checking Bennett off the list in front of her and moving on to the next name. “What about Razor?”

There’s a momentary pause that feels excruciatingly long. Everyone chews or fans themselves, clearly trying to think of something productive to say.

“He’s a fucking mad lad,” Kaeya says eventually, which is so completely unhelpful Diluc doesn’t even pretend to write it down, just shoots him a dark look. Kaeya leans his hip against the kitchen table, apparently indifferent to its pained shriek and any concept of modesty as he folds his arms across his chest, muscles flexing. He grins like he thinks he just said something funny, which is one of his most insufferable grins by far.

“I caught him eating raw sumac leaves during Survival,” Tighnari says, thoughtfully.

“I’ve had to ask him to stop wrestling with his campers twice,” Aether says, half a sigh.

“Oh, yeah, and he has punch-Jordan in his cabin,” Kaeya says, pointing knowingly at Aether who mimes hanging himself with his braided hair.

“That kid sucks,” Lumine chimes in supportively.

“I heard Razor say he turns his underwear inside out so he can go longer between washes,” Kokomi says, absently, not looking up from the provincial park map spread out before her. Diluc resists the urge to put his head in his hands.

“What! Doesn’t he take his laundry in on his days off?” Jean demands, predictably distraught by this information.

“I’m pretty sure he does,” Aether says, his voice tipping up into a question.

“Did you see his awesome costume for the leadership camp-wide, though?” Gorou interjects, clearly scrambling for something positive to say. But at the same time Ganyu tentatively replies to Aether; “Or is he still just jumping into the lake fully dressed?”

“Doesn’t he shower?” Jean exclaims, and everyone piles on from there. Diluc gives up and closes his laptop. Kaeya catches his eye and grins.

Twenty minutes later, when the bell rings for afternoon activities, the only thing Diluc has written down for Razor’s eval is: Energetic.

#is a summer camp au too niche #wip wednesday #thursday

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novelconcepts · 2 years

Note

So, Chapter 8, aka "Shit just got real:"

I love, love, love the way Jamie’s nurturing magic translates into stage performance and engaging with her audience. I also love “grows stronger, and softer…” and that Dani (and you) recognizes both of these as directions of growth.

I love Dani Clayton, but I normally don’t have a whole lot in common with her. However, you’ve got me all aboard for her violent hatred of Peter during the batter scene. But also: I’ve seen the show, I know how this scene goes. But you’ve managed to write it in a way that stirs my disgust with this dude and my dismay at this relationship all over again.

“What Peter and Rebecca have is vibrant, passionate, ambitious—but it is not kind. It does not pause to listen. It lurks in the shadows, banging up the walls and scuffing the furniture.” I think you’ve said that you’re not particularly religious, so I hope this doesn’t offend you, but this bit recalled the famous Bible text on love in a way that I find really cool, even if it’s not at all what you intended (and I should be absolutely clear that you’re pointing out the ways in which Peter and Rebecca are everything that text says love isn’t)

That said, while Jamie and Dani’s love is beautiful, this whole “we’re just going to pour all the leftover magic between us into sex” vibe is…very alarming.

Also, “cold tile into bruised kneecaps” nice subtle way to point out this isn’t exactly the first time this has happened.

I really like Hannah’s philosophy of building a band on trust, but I gotta say, inviting Peter to be part of such an endeavor is a cardinal mistake.

What a colossal asshole. Honestly. Also, if a coworker established that they could replace—and outdo—me at work without breaking a sweat, I would be a) on my best behavior, and b) busting ass for the foreseeable future. The fact that this is Peter’s response is just…ugh.

“He hadn’t devised a punishment for Dani. He hadn’t looked at her at all. She supposes that was the point, in the end: to Peter Quint, she has only ever been wallpaper.” Don’t know if you meant it this way, but this was a neat little echo of the fact that Peter and Dani never met in canon.

“This, she can’t entirely stop thinking, feels like a rage borrowed from another source.” 😬 It does seem legit, though, that Viola would reserve a particular type of rage for Men Behaving Badly.

“They’re friends, Dani realizes . . . Friend is a calling card that tends to come with others stapled to the back.” The fact that Dani has seemingly never had a normal friend is just…upsetting.

I absolutely adore these three women making the show work by the seat of their pants in order to spite Peter Quint.

Speaking of whom, have we perhaps seen the last of him? A girl can dream…

Can’t believe you transformed “What if I’m here with you…living our lives…but I’m really just her?” into “What if I’m here, railing you against the piano, but I’m really just her?” Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

[frantically smashes Next Chapter button]

You’ve picked up on so much of the detail work I was going for, I am delighted. I’m not religious, no, but I was raised Catholic, and I’ve heard the “love is patient, love is kind” bit many times (including at my own wedding, from my father). Not sure I can think of two words less descriptive of the Peter/Rebecca relationship--or more descriptive of the Dani/Jamie one. This story getting a long deep-dive into how different those two are was just the biggest love letter to the foil work in the show.

As for the end, uh. Viola channeling into Dani in ways she maybe doesn’t even recognize was a huge part of this piece, and sometimes that looks like...railing someone against a piano. What can you do.

#ask #kind writing words #fic talk #with the thread of sex and love and control and magic all twisted together it only felt right to bind them into a scene like that #enjoy the final round. i seem to remember it being...aggressive in length

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phantomdrummcr · 2 years

Text

@youthstclen whispered: 🎶 — favorite song at the moment? 📕 — favorite book/series? 🧶 — any non-writing hobbies/interests? 📺 — favorite movie(s) and/or tv show(s)? ✏️ — how long have you been roleplaying on tumblr? ✍️ — what other platforms have you roleplayed on? 🗒 — what is/are your favorite genre(s)/theme(s) to write? 🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most? 😁 — what’s your favorite part about being part of the rpc?

🎶 → that’s still quite a difficult one, i gotta say chung ha’s stay tonight tho. it’s such a fuckin bop. i can never get enough of that song like ever.

📕 → sadly it has to be the w.arriors series, it sucks that the lore is so fascinating cuz as of late it’s been under fire for some uh. problematic™ shit that i don’t really wanna get into now but like. it was basically what got me into writing and my earliest plots were based on its universe. and i hate myself for that 🙃

📺 → i mean obviously the walking dead, you already know this lmao, but also i just. can’t get enough of cartoons i watched as a teen?? like adventure time n voltron n all that shit. yeah u know xD

✏️ → i wanna say somewhere between 4-5 years, i opened my lance blog sometime in 2018 as a sideblog to my main before really doubling down and opening up that multi of mine in early 2020.

✍️ → deviantart, discord, & skype! but mostly it’s here n discord c:

🗒 → probably softer & sillier things like fluff n slice of life n all that, i also enjoy writing angst & smut but the latter you won’t see here and angst tends to elevate my blood pressure more than it doesn’t cuz right now it’s hard for me to juggle regular angst and my already incredible barrage of mental health issues, i just wanna focus on positivity rn cuz the world is just so fucking negative rn esp with all the civil rights violations happening not just in the us but all over the fucking world. anyways imma stop there before i dive into this stupid tangent i’m teetering right on the edge of--

🤔 → struggle doesn’t really describe my situation with angst, i think i’m okay with writing it other than the mood it puts me in, but for some reason i kind of have difficulty doing things like songfics??? like i can write something inspired off of a song but the whole line by line thing that seems very in right now i just. it seems way over-detailed for me to be able to handle and organize???

😁 → probably just. the diversity of the community. there are people from all over the world with different talents, who speak different languages, who dabble in other artistic endeavors, who are encouraging and open to talk (at least in my experience) about whatever is on your mind about a particular thread/writing scenario. idk i’ve met a lot of amazing people here in the rpc and even tho it can at times feel like a toxic and demanding community, the small circles i’m in are more than understanding and happy to let me take my time which i’m grateful af for and love you all for 🥺 <333

#noah rambles. >>> 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 #youthstclen #munday.

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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 3 years

Text

Work It Out

Summary: Spencer realizes that he might just have feelings for his neighbor after seeing her in her workout gear.

A/N: I boofed it. Trying to write a blurb and I ended up writing a whole fic. I will never learn.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Implied that reader is athletic but no mention of her body type)

Category: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Warnings/Includes: bad communication, cursing, smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, light spanking, please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 2.7k

Masterlist

Requests Filled:

“blurb idea that’s been living in my head, rent-free: reader is spencer’s neighbor and a dancer, who he has a huge crush on. spencer goes over to her apartment to borrow something and interrupts her daily stretches and spencer gets all flustered because she’s wearing leggings and a sports bra, and she’s so flexible”

“okay so this next thought came to my mind while i was doing some exercise lol: imagine that u started a new routine and you feel super tired at the ten minutes of the video haha, then spencer came back to work and when he see u doing some squats he's so turn on and then he just get close to you from behind and whispers "c'mon bunny, u can't with this, the only thing that u can handle is my cock" and then he just fuck y/n so hard aaaaaaaaa btw i'm the anon who sent that visual the past week of Twitter about the flowery lingerie 😌🙏🏻 —🥀”

“okay so like reader working out in Spencer’s apartment and he’s just watching her and getting all worked up. reader noticed and starts teasing him until he can’t handle it - 🐍”

-- -- --

They’d struck up a friendship almost instantly, from that first day that she moved in. He tried to help her with her boxes but he almost felt like he was holding her back, he got winded just going up and down the stairs on his own, let alone while he carried an entire box he later found out had been full of books. She laughed at him when he placed it down on her kitchen table and read the permanent marker label on the side. He still remembers how light her laugh had made him feel, how perfect it was.

From that first day things were just easy, effortless. He liked that he didn’t have to think around her, about work, about anything, he always felt so comfortable around her. Until that day.

The day that he couldn’t find his dustpan and brush after breaking a glass, so he went next door to see if she had one he could borrow. When he knocked on the door and heard a small ‘it’s open’, he walked in as normal, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the sight.

The furniture in her living room was pushed to the walls as she stretched in the centre of the room. He was sure there must’ve been a name for the pose she was in, but all he could concentrate on in that moment was how her body looked in the spandex of her leggings and sports bra. The smooth way her body contorted into strange shapes, the way her back arched so perfectly, and the way he could make out every curve of her body in a way he’d never really noticed before.

Thankfully she didn’t seem to notice his staring as she concentrated on her movements before finishing up her pose.

“What’s up Spence?” she breathed once she relaxed, turning her eyes to him.

And for a moment he wanted to turn around and run away. He was almost positive that his face was a glowing shade of pink, he could feel the heat as it radiated off of his cheeks while she looked at him expectantly.

“Uh, I um- A glass!” he stuttered out, “I broke a glass” he finally managed but she still just looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

“Okay, we’re really low on news today I see” she laughed, and he sort of wished she hadn’t, because it’s his absolute favorite sound.

“Sorry, I wanted to- I uh- I came over to see if you had a sweeping brush?” the words almost get caught in his throat but he fights to get them out, and he’s more proud than he really should be.

“Oh, under the sink!” she tells him, and he makes quick work of finding it before mumbling his ‘thanks’ and rushing back to the safety of his own apartment.

It’s a day he could never forget, even if his memory was normal. And part of him wished he could forget, because he knows that that’s the day he started treating her differently. It wasn’t easy or simple anymore. It was awkward and strange and he had a huge, stupid crush on her.

-- --

It doesn’t take long for her to notice the little changes in his behavior, the way he avoids her in the halls, or always seems to be inexplicably busy whenever she tries to make plans. And on the odd occasion that they do speak he never seems to be able to hold eye contact. It continues like that for a while until she just can’t take it for another second.

She waits until she knows he’s home, staring out the peephole at the door opposite hers until she sees him open it up and walk inside. She gives him about 5 minutes before she marches over and slams her fist against the door, a lot more urgent than necessary.

When he opens the door he looks tired and deflated, and his tie is undone, hanging around his neck. She can see the fatigue leave his features a second later, only to be replaced by a look of pure shock.

“Y/N?” he asks, like he’s not sure she’s really even there.

“Yeah, can I come in?” she asks, but she’s already maneuvering past him and into his living room like she’d done so many times before he’d gotten strange.

“What are you doing here?” he manages to get out once his shock subsides.

“What’s going on with you Spence? We’re best friends until one day you decide you don’t like me? What’s that about, I just have to pretend like I live next door to a stranger now?”

He looks like a deer caught in headlights. She’s not even sure she can see him breathing as his face begins to flush.

“I’m sorry” he breathes out first, “I wasn’t trying to- okay I was avoiding you, but it’s not because I don’t like you”

“Sure seems like it” she sighs, and for a second he looks heartbroken.

“No!” he blurts out, “It’s not that, I swear” he shakes his head, reaching out to touch her before retracting his grip, thinking the better of it.

“Then what is it Spence?” she looks at him with a softness now, with a pleading behind her eyes, and he can’t hold back anymore.

“It’s because I do like you” he says it like he’s relieved, like it had been gnawing at him, “Because I really like you”

“Like me?” she asks, the realization finally dawning. “As in...”

“As in... romantically?” he can’t look at her when he says it, closing his eyes as if he’s bracing for impact. But the next thing he hears is his favorite sound once again. She laughs at him. It’s not cynical, or rude, it’s the kind that’s filled with joy, and maybe just a little exasperation.

“Well I wish you’d’ve told me that sooner” she says once she’s calmed down, and when he opens his eyes she’s smiling at him, taking a step closer.

“You do?”

“Mmhmm” she nods, “That way, I could’ve let you know all about this crush I’ve been harboring on you for a while now.”

He doesn’t have time to think before she’s got her lips on his, soft and delicate against him. For a minute he can’t really understand what’s happening as her hands reach up to cup his face softly, and they stay there after she pulls back. Her thumbs gently grazing his cheekbones as she admires his shocked expression.

“You’ve had a crush on me?” is the first thing he thinks to say, and she nods, smiling up at him.

“Since that first day when you helped me move in” she admits, and the timeline clicks in his head. She’s wanted this longer than he even had. Something about it puts his mind at ease, the though of being desirable to someone like her just makes him swell with pride in a way he’s not even sure he understands.

“Oh” is all he manages to get out though.

“I know, we gotta work on your self confidence because you, Spencer Reid, are a catch” she smiles at him before diving in for their second kiss.

-- --

It’s probably too crass to say out loud, but his favorite part about moving in together is undoubtedly, her daily exercise routine. Sometimes it’s in the morning, sometimes the afternoon, sometimes the evening. He’s actually starting to suspect that she times it for when she knows he’ll be around to see it.

He waited a little while to confess just know much he thought about her in those leggings. The lilac ones that were still in her rotation. Not that he didn’t find her sexy all of the time, he really did. But there was just something, maybe pavlovian, about seeing her in those lilac leggings. The way they hugged her body, he always found himself staring more than he was proud of.

Whatever routine she’s following this morning has her just a little out of breath. And he pretends to be reading the paper at his desk while she pants less than 10 feet away from him. The sound alone is distracting, but when he glances up and he can see her doing squats, all he can focus on is her ass in those fucking leggings.

“8, 9.... 10″ she breathes out, finishing off with a small groan.

“Too hard?” he chuckles, giving in and laying his paper down.

“No way, I can handle it” she turns around to grin at him before turning back around, starting into another set, counting them out slowly.

He seizes the opportunity and gets up out of his chair, making his way quietly over to her while she concentrates on her form. When he’s finally behind her she’s nearly out of breath again, pushing through the last rep when his hand snakes around her waist and pulls her back against him. He leans in to her ear as he whispers.

“C’mon Bunny, I guess you can handle your squats, but can you handle this” he almost moans it as he presses his already hard cock right up against her ass.

“Fuck” she breathes out in a little gasp, her hands moving up into his hair to pull him closer.

“Do you think you can handle it Bunny?” he groans again, grinding himself against her this time.

“Yes! Yes Spencer please, I can take it” she moans out as his hands begin to roam over her body, gently tracing along the exposed skin between her bra and her leggings, feeling the warmth of it.

“Then be a good Bunny and bend over for me, okay?” he growls against her ear and she moves fast, bending over the back of the sofa, and presenting herself to him. He takes a step back to admire the view for a moment before he’s got his hands on her body again. His fingers go straight to the waistband of the leggings, tugging the smooth fabric down, pulling it until it's gathered around her feet, quickly doing the same with her panties until there was nothing in his way.

“Fuck, you look so good like this” he groans, a soft hand caressing the smooth skin of her ass before rising up and coming back down with a loud slap, followed by a high pitched whine from her.

“Did you like that Bunny?” he asks, gripping a rough handful of her ass as she moans out a meek ‘yes’

So he repeats the action, pulling his hand up only to slam it back down again rough and excited against the now sensitive skin.

“Fuck” she purrs, her legs closing, thighs moving together in an attempt to get some friction. But he puts a stop to that right away, placing one of his feet between hers and kicking them apart so her legs were spread for him.

“If you wanted something Bunny, all you had to do was ask” he teases, moving his hand along the curve of her ass until it was hovering between her legs, where she was desperate and wanting. He purposefully lingers just a moment too long before pushing two fingers inside of her. He’s rewarded with a low moan that pours out of her.

“So wet from just a little spanking, you’re so good for me” he groans, “Do you think you can handle my cock yet sweetheart?”

She can’t help the way she clenches and tightens around his fingers at the very thought. It’s not like they didn’t fill her up, they were so much longer and more agile than her own fingers, but nothing could really compare to his cock.

“Fuck, please” she whimpers, wiggling her hips just a little as though that might help convince him that she deserved it.

“Such a good girl, I think you’ve earned it” as he speaks he pulls his fingers gently out of her, and she forces herself not to while at the loss of contact. He pulls his cock out of his boxers, pumping it himself a few times before he lines up behind her. Though they both love this position, she can’t help but miss watching him. The way his eyes close and and he bites his perfect plump bottom lip. But then he’s easing in and the feeling of him is enough to eclipse every other thought in her head.

“Oh god! Spencer!” she stutters out a moan, her hands flying forward to grab at the cushions on the sofa, digging her fingers into the soft down.

“You feel so good Bunny, always so wet for me” he groans as he pushes the whole way in, burying himself right up to the hilt.

His hands make their home on either side of her hips, his grip is tight as he pulls her back against him at the same time that he pushes his hips forward, slamming in on each thrust with everything he’s got.

Hips hit against her ass each time, rocking right up against the quickly forming handprint there whenever their skin collides. The slight burn only intensifying the already overwhelming pleasure.

“So- ah- I’m so close” she manages to moan out in between all the gasps and pants, and without speaking Spencer reaches down to grab the straps at the back of her sports bra, using the leverage to pull her back up. Meeting her halfway he presses his chest right up against her back, one hand snaking around to loosely grip her throat. The other making its way down between her legs.

“Fuck- Spencer- I-” she gasps at his fingers start to run in small circles around her swollen clit, his hips continuing their motions at the same time. All of it building dangerously fast.

“What’s the matter? Too much for you Bunny?” he teases with a groan, right against her ear.

“No!” she rushes out, one of her hands bracing herself against the back of the sofa, the other draping itself loosely over his hand between her legs, encouraging but not interfering with its movements.

“That’s a good girl. Are you gonna cum all over my cock Bunny?”

She doesn’t have time to answer his question before she’s putty in his hands. Melting into his grip as he continues to move inside of her and against her. The only thing keeping her from falling to the ground is her loose grip on the edge of the sofa and Spencers hand around her neck as she moans out his name.

It’s only a few seconds later that his hips begin to stutter and both of his hands are on her hips again, pulling them tight against his own as he grows closer and closer. And then he’s cumming with a rough groan and a bunch of shallow breaths, filling her up entirely as she begins to slump against the sofa once again.

“Spence, fuck” she says with a deep breath, “That was unbelievable”

They’re both covered in a layer of sweat now, and Spencer can feel the hair that’s probably stuck to his forehead. In his exhausted state all he really wants to do is lay down against her back, gathering their breathing again. But he knows that’s just his cloudy mind talking. So he manages to loosen his grip on her hips and pull out slowly before rushing to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth.

He takes it and gently cleans the mess that he made between her legs before it gets the chance to drip down. Once she’s clean he helps her stand upright once again.

Although he’d come a long way with his self confidence there were still times like this where he let himself feel awkward, or unsure. Especially right after he’d just been so bold. But in times like this she knows exactly what to do. Rising up, she places her hands on either side of his face and kisses him, soft and gentle, just for a moment, before pulling back again to look at him.

“Shower?”

-- -- --

Thank you so much for reading x

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startanewdream · 3 years

Text

Sometimes I write the most random things at night.

This is a Part 2 (3?) of that comfort Sirius Lives AU where Sirius would never shut up about Harry and Ginny getting together (or my point that Harry would be happier if anyone had lived).

Part 1 | Part 2 (no need to read them)

_______________

‘All things packed? Socks folded and all?’

Harry jumps, turning to Sirius with a fond smile; he has just closed his trunk. ‘You know, nobody ever asked me that.’

‘Remus told me to ask you. He’s adamant I should be a serious godfather.’

Harry grins. ‘He did not.’

‘He may have used the word responsible instead,’ Sirius agrees, grinning. 'People seem to avoid the word "serious" near me.'

Sirius crosses his arm, leaning against the door of Harry’s room (Harry has a room there that he decorated with Sirius’ help, with his personal belongings that no one judges him for), watching Harry with attention.

‘Excited for tomorrow?’

Harry shrugs. He loves Hogwarts but he won’t deny that for the first time he wasn’t counting the days to go back. Between Sirius’ company, the summer days at the Burrow and the first vacation he took since… since forever, he could add a few more days to that summer break.

‘You’ll enjoy the Sixth Year,’ Sirius says. ‘Lots of free time. It’s so relaxing after O.W.L.s.’ There is a smirk on Sirius’ face now. ‘Good dating opportunities too.’

Harry rolls his eyes, his face reddening.

‘What?’ Sirius asks, innocent. ‘I meant about your friends, Ron and Hermione. They were all over each other this summer, didn’t you see?’

‘They are always like that.’

‘Talking to each other all the time, finding every excuse to be together, laughing until late in the night—’

‘Fine, fine, I won’t be surprised.’

But Sirius hasn’t stopped. ‘—Teasing each other non-stop, flying together every sunset—’

‘That wasn’t them,’ Harry interrupts, frowning.

Sirius blinks. ‘No? Oh, right, I was thinking about you and Ginny, sorry.’ He doesn’t look remorseful, though.

Something warm spreads through Harry. His neck burns—maybe he’s got some allergy.

‘Come on, Ginny and I—we are nothing like Ron and Hermione.’

‘No, no, you bicker a lot less. More of a teasing banter. Well, to each couple their own foreplay—’

‘Foreplay? Couple? No, no.’

‘Yes, yes.’

‘I am not—we are not—Ron’s sister—she has a boyfriend!’

‘Well, people are allowed to make bad choices once in a while,’ Sirius notes, shrugging, evidently not considering Ginny’s relationship status a problem.

‘You… you are out of your mind, really. I don’t… I can’t fancy her!’

‘Why not?’

‘Because she… she is Ron’s sister.’

‘Well, Lily was Petunia’s sister, imagine if James considered that.’

‘Ugh, Sirius. It’s nothing to do—Ron would never accept it.’

‘Good thing it’s not Ron who you want to snog.’

‘Snog? I don’t… I can’t—’

‘Fine,’ Sirius sighs, though the smile is still on his face. It’s a victorious smile that does nothing to calm Harry. ‘Tell me you can’t see yourself snogging Ginny and I’ll drop it.’

‘I…’

He begins the phrase with the full intention of finishing it, but now that Sirius has mentioned it, his voice extremely reasonable, Harry can’t avoid the thought. It is easy, strangely easy, as if his unconsciousness has been harbouring these images for a while, almost a dream of a dream, and until then Harry didn’t realize they existed.

But now all he can see as clearly as if they happened is the scene of him and Ginny after one of their silly races, reaching the ground and dismounting the broom still laughing, still full with the adrenaline of the dive. Ginny’s hair is all windswept, escaping her ponytail, framing her red face; her freckles are highlighted after so much sun exposure and this time, in his mind, Harry doesn’t resist the urge to get closer to count them.

But when he is close, with that fragrance of her perfume—the one he is also sure he didn’t notice until now, though some part of him has always registered how good-smelling she is—, staring at Ginny’s warm brown eyes, the smile on her lips…

All he can think of is that he would like very much to kiss her, no matter that she has a boyfriend or that she is Ron’s sister.

There is only Ginny.

‘AHA!’ Sirius’ cry makes Harry jump, blinking, the image of Ginny in front of him suddenly evaporating. ‘You Potters have the same pining face. It’s so adorable!’

‘No, it’s not! What—what do I do now, Sirius?’

‘Only one thing to do! Make her realize she fancies you too!’

‘But… she has a boyfriend,’ Harry mumbles, and then his face is replaced by Dean’s in his mind, and it’s Dean who is close to Ginny. He closes his eyes. ‘I feel like… like there is a monster in my chest and—’

‘Monster in your chest? We gotta better up your metaphors, Harry. But don’t worry, we will get there.’

‘I… I shouldn’t get there, she is still Ron’s sister…’

‘Ron? Your best friend Ron? The one thing you would miss the most?’

‘Yeah—he will feel like I am betraying him—’

‘Harry, you are best friends. I would even say brothers, but that would get weird considering how you definitely don’t see Ginny as your sister… But the point is that he would be happy for you! His best friend and his sister? I would be.’

‘You don’t have a sister.’

‘Good point. I have no idea how it would be, but, hey, I supported your mother with your father, and all because I saw how amazing they were together! You would support Ron and Hermione, right?’

‘I guess… I mean, I want them to be happy. If snogging would lessen their fights...’

‘Snogging helps a lot to channelize energy into something else,’ Sirius promises him. ‘You’ll see.’

Harry doesn’t look convinced. ‘Ginny still has a boyfriend.’

‘Nonsense, I’ve seen how she looks at you. And Fred and George may have mentioned something about a crush?’

‘Oh, that was years ago. Hermione told me Ginny is… over me.’

‘Then let’s get her under you! No, wait, that came out wrong. What I mean is to show her that you belong together!’

‘How do I do that?’

‘Don’t worry, I will guide you. I am an amazing matchmaker. You should have seen me with your parents.’

‘Didn’t my father take at least two years to make my mother date him?’

‘Well, you are here, right? Or as we used to call you, the final proof that James Potter and Lily Evans had—’

‘Okay! Don’t say it!’

‘That they had a love for each other, Harry,’ Sirius finishes, shaking his head, the smirk on his face bigger than ever. ‘Gods, what did you think I would say?’

Harry is sure his face is redder than the Gryffindor banners decorating the room.

‘Fine, I will listen to you.’

‘Oh, perfect.’ Sirius walks to sit on Harry’s bed, his face shining with something that Harry suddenly associates with mischief. He looks years wounger. ‘Let me share with you a wisdom I once shared with your mother—’

‘My mother?’

‘Yeah, well, you are much more like in her situation than with your father. All things considered, you are the one who fancies someone who supposedly got over you.’

‘This happened to them?’

‘Oh, yeah, by our last year they were just friends. Lily was convinced that James had moved on, and James was convinced she couldn’t ever like him back. It was rather pathetic and they were both wrong, let me tell you.’

‘Then what?’

‘Oh, lie in, Harry, let me tell you this bedtime story: how your parents got together. Once upon a time…’

#Sirius Lives AU #Sirius supporting Hinny #Talk about self-indulgence okay #Sirius Black #Hinny #Hinny Fanfiction #Harry realizing he is love with Ginny is my weak spot

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

Note

Red of Overly Sarcastic Productions once said :"If you can imagine your Batman comforting a shared child, then congratulations, you're righting Batman. If not, you're just writing the Punisher in a funny hat". This got me wondering: could the Shadow comfort a scared child?

Could he? You forget who was there to lift young Bruce to his feet at his first brush with death (sadly far from his last).

But it's an interesting question to pose still, because children were straight up not in the pulps, not in any I've read, and I can't recall any episodes of the radio show that feature them much (there's gotta be at least a few, because they had everything in that show). The most interaction I think The Shadow's ever had with children (from comics that I can discuss here, because Marshall Rogers' "Harold Goes to Washington" is way, way too much for me to go into right now, and the less I talk about some other DC comics, the better) is in the Street & Smith comics.

There's Jerry from the Devil Kyoti arc, a kid who was traumatized by an encounter with the villain who Sayre's looking after and who ends up having some kind of hidden power that allows him to see The Shadow and defeat the villain. There was a blonde Jerry who showed up later in the Monstradamus arc, but he isn't a kid so much as he's diet Jimmy Olsen or a replacement for Harry, but he had weird eyesight-based powers and a familiarity with The Shadow, so I assume it's the same character.

There was also Donald Jordan - Shadow Jr, and okay, I may have to talk more about this weird little failed experiment some other time, but the basic gist of it is that The Shadow had a friend in Tibet named Harry Jordan (and someday I'm also gonna write about the weird prevalence and significance of the name "Harry" in The Shadow's mythos in and out of universe) who was murdered, leaving his son orphaned and with nowhere to go. And, I'll admit that I have a real weakness for The Shadow calling people "son", which he does a lot in this story.

And as you can expect, it then turns out that the kid's also learned how to cloud minds and has basically the same powers The Shadow has in these comics, and they solve the mystery of his dad's murder together, and yeah, you can absolutely tell that they are setting up this kid to be The Shadow's Robin. Although, interestingly, they don't have The Shadow actually recruit the kid, instead it's Jordan who asks The Shadow if he can go with him and join his mission, and Cranston even states he's going to have to "earn" his way

"Must I stay here, sir? It will always remind me of dad - I'd like to devote my life to your fight against evil and evil doers!

Now, "Shadow Jr's" career was incredibly short-lived, it only lasted for about two other issues, and I have no idea what happened in his final appearence called "Snake Eyes" in Shadow Comics #77, I cannot find that issue anywhere and I really want to. But the one other solo story of his I've read was...well, I think it kinda illustrates why the idea of The Shadow having a Robin was doomed from the start.

...Yeah. Even The Shadow at his most sanitized and family friendly is still The Shadow, and there's no room for children in his network, obviously he shouldn't and wouldn't have children be in those positions or make decisions expected from grown-ups who have already had encounters with death and danger, why would anyone do that-

The only instance I can think of The Shadow interacting with a child in the pulps was during The Prince of Evil, when he has to rescue a young boy from Stark's thugs.

Cranston, dazed, tried to stagger to his feet. Before he could do so, the thug had picked up the limp figure of the boy and was darting out into the street. There was a scream of horror from pedestrians.

A heavy truck was racing at top speed along the avenue. Straight into the path of the truck, the thug threw the senseless boy!

The driver of the truck jammed on the brakes. But it was too late to halt the heavy vehicle. The broad-tired wheels rolled toward the limp head of the lad on the pavement.

An instant before it could crush out his life, Lamont Cranston dived headlong into the path of destruction. His shoulder struck the boy, rolling him toward the curb. A quick wriggle, and Cranston swerved aside from the grinding death that loomed over him.

He picked up the boy. One glance and he knew there was no time to lose. The attempted killer had leaped into a waiting sedan and had already made his escape.

The boy was all Cranston could see or think about. Brass knuckles had fractured his skull. He had suffered a concussion of the brain. A glance at his bluish lips and the fixed glaze of his staring eyes told Cranston that unless the boy was operated on immediately, he would die.

A leap, Cranston was in his car. He laid the boy gently on the seat beside him, then headed the car toward the nearest hospital. Traffic lights were ignored.

The boy was taken to an emergency operating room and a skilled surgeon went to work. When it was over, Cranston asked only one question: "Will the child live?"

"Hard to say. We'll do our best."

"Spare no expense. Put him in a private room. Engage day and night nurses."

Cranston's face was pale. He knew that he himself was indirectly responsible for the boy's attack. A supercriminal had made a prompt answer to Cranston's message over Jackson's telephone. That telephone must have been tapped. The attempt to kill the boy was a vicious warning for Lamont Cranston to mind his own business about the Harmon family. It was a follow-up of the attack on Jackson's dog.

Cranston felt a surge of hot anger. He kept it under control while he answered routine police questions. He told all he knew - which was nothing.

He had only one angry thought. He intended to drive straight to the office of David Chester. He'd get the truth out of the sleek Chester, if he had to batter him with vengeful fists!

Cranston was actually halfway to Chester's office before common sense returned to him. He realized he had lost his sense of balance. He was behaving exactly as the crooks wanted. He was playing their game, not his!

He parked, and the hot rage drained slowly from him. He stopped thinking about the limp figure of a young lad on a white operating table.

This is definitely because Tinsley writes the character differently than Gibson, but I actually cannot think of another occasion where we got to read about The Shadow actively wanting to hit someone with his fists. It's very, very rare to read about The Shadow actually getting mad in the first place in such an undignified way. And I think with this passage, you'll start to notice a pattern.

The problem isn't that The Shadow cannot interact with kids or that he can't comfort them, he does it to his agents and adults he wants to help just fine, he knows how to address people in their language, or any language. The problem is, The Shadow is constantly surrounded by danger everywhere he goes, because he is The Shadow. He can be any number of things at any number of occasions, but usually, when The Shadow shows up, it's usually because people are going to die, and people are going to kill, and it's his job to address that and work the scales.

Children should not be anywhere near this, and if The Shadow's interacting with a child, it usually means that some grave danger or tragedy fell upon them, and he's here to either prevent greater tragedy or address the fall-out, and he'd be the first to agree that neither of these options should be happening at all. It doesn't mean he's not gonna do what's right and give life and limb to protect them, but, it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to look after them in the first place. Maybe it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to protect us.

But then again, as I mentioned when I talked about my own reasons for liking The Shadow so much, there are many kids who would like nothing more than to have the Boogeyman by their side to protect them. There's comfort in knowing that the scariest man in the room is unconditionally there to protect you, and that is the comfort that The Shadow gives best. Not as Cranston, not under a friendly face, but as what he is.

Due to a lack of scenes from the pulps or satisfying scenes from elsewhere, I will instead be pulling one from a fan story written by Kimberly-Murphy Smith, editor and writer of The Hot Cornerm where The Shadow rescues a child who was kidnapped for blackmail. I couldn't care less that it's fanfic, and if you do, come back in 20 or so years after The Shadow's been made public domain and it's gonna be just as official as anything licensed (on my “to write about” list: how fickle the separation between “official” and “fanfic” is, and the many times it plainly didn’t exist). There’s aspects of her writing I don’t care for, but I really like this scene and I do think The Shadow’s more gentle interactions with people are necessary to getting the character.

Annabelle.

She stopped crying for a minute. "Who's there?" she said, her voice choked.

A friend. Your mommy and daddy sent me to pick you up.

"Mommy? Mommy's here?"

Sh-h-h. Annabelle felt a gloved hand gently stroking her hair. She's waiting for you at home. So, we need to hurry up and leave.

"'kay." She looked around. "Where are you?"

It's kind of hard to see me. It's dark in here, plus you've been crying so much your eyes probably hurt.

"Yeah."

Don't be afraid. I'm here to help.

"'kay."

The implicit trust of children was simply amazing at times. Adults trembled in fear of The Shadow's wrath, but children somehow seemed to understand that he was there to help them, even if they couldn't see him.

Sit up, Annabelle. I'm going to pick you up. Be very quiet.

One hand took each of her arms and guided them around a neck she could not see. "Why are you wearin' a blanket?" she asked as the fabric of his cloak brushed against her shoulders.

Sometimes I get cold at night.

"Even in the summer?"

Even in the summer. He gently stroked her cheek and wiped away her tears. Now, you need to be very quiet so those bad men in the next room don't hear us. I'll bet you're tired.

She nodded.

He rocked her on his arms, projecting a very gentle hypnotic relaxation into her with his powers as he did. You probably didn't get your nap, either. Poor thing. Lean on my shoulder and go to sleep. And when you wake up, you'll be back with Mommy and Daddy.

She yawned, then snuggled against his shoulder and went to sleep.

The Shadow sighed with relief. Now to get past the men out front. He gently pulled the pistol out of its holster under his left arm and slipped it into the belted waist of his overcoat within easy reach, then secured his grip on Annabelle and draped his cloak over her.

She clutched the edge of his cloak in her hand like a security blanket and snuggled against his shoulder again.

(Art by Jill Thompson)

#replies tag #the shadow #pulp heroes #fanfic #I think about the -Sometimes I get cold at night- response a lot #and how superhero capes can easily be likened to oversized blankets #and The Shadow is one of the main reasons why capes became so popular among American heroes #seriously you can see how practically overnight so many heroes at the time imitating The Shadow acquired capes #and what is a hero if not a childhood fantasy manifest #they are all just wearing blankets to battle #I think my posts are turning into too much of rollercoasters

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greeksorceress · 2 years

Text

sticks and stones (may break my bones but your absence will haunt me to the end of my days)

character: ponyboy curtis. mentions of johnny cade, dallas winston, darry curtis and sodapop curtis.

angst, grieving, mentions of death.

the stone

And now, sitting by the lot, smoking a cigarette by his lonesome, it doesn’t feel like it gets much better than this.

Darry doesn’t understand, because he seems to never be able to dig whatever Ponyboy has in mind, and he’s hellbent on believing that Pony’s slacking because he can’t grasp his mind around the fact that Johnny and Dally are gone.

It’s actually such an easy concept that Ponyboy refuses to accept it as it is. Johnny and Dally were, and then, they weren’t anymore. Just like that. They were here and now, they aren’t. No euphemisms or metaphors, it’s actually so simple that it hurts. They were dead, like his parents, and he knows they’re not coming back, because his parents didn't, either.

But it feels like a trick, because it just can’t be that easy. Nothing in this life is that easy, so why would death be any different? It has to be a trick, an elaborated way of tricking people into a false sense of security so they don’t suspect what’s actually going on.

Ponyboy’s mind can’t accept it as an absolute fact. Darry, on the other hand, seems to work on hard facts, as always. He doesn’t even question it like Ponyboy, he just goes with what he sees, and makes sure to point it out when he sees Ponyboy not catching up.

"You're living in a vacuum, Pony, and you're going to have to cut it out. Johnny and Dallas were our buddies, too, but you don't just stop living because you lose someone. I thought you knew that by now."

Darry doesn’t understand. It’s not only about Johnny dying. It’s not only about Dally dying, either. It’s about the innate desolation, the devastating feeling of loneliness that’s crushing his spirts as days go by. It’s the fact that he’s expected to carry on with his normal life as if nothing has happened what confuses him. He cannot accept death and move on as if it hadn’t changed his whole life. As if it was just a temporal condition, like catching a cold or breaking an arm.

And it’s basically the first amend in this bill of rights all the greasers agree upon birth, to keep going no matter what. Darry follows that one to a T. Soda, however, told him that he was allowed to to dive in his own feelings and heal, and figure himself out in such a difficult time —more or less, Soda wasn’t this poetic—. But Darry and Soda seem to crash here in such a slow motion that Pony can actually see them colliding frame by frame.

At the end of the day, he doesn’t know how to keep going on, but he doesn’t feel capable of stopping, either. And it’s this confusion that prickles into his skin like little needles constantly. It’s what keeps him up at night, unfocused in class and vacant during the rest of the day.

He’s sitting here now, angry at Darry for not understanding and angry at Soda for understanding too much and at that damned unwritten paper on top of his messy desk.

“Those are just words, Pony,” said Darry, “you only have to write them.”

“It doesn’t matter what you write about,” his teacher tells him through the phone, “you just gotta make it sound good, son.”

They’re both wrong. Words aren’t just words. Words have power. He could have said sorry to Darry instead of running away. He could have told Johnny “let’s go home together” instead of leading him to the park where they got jumped. He could have told Johnny not to give himself up when he was falling. He could have told Dally not to do anything stupid.

Now, there isn’t anyone left to say anything at all anymore.

His life continues after the death of his friends and it’s frightening, and it feels undeserving, too. But he’s still alive —as Darry has said many, many times—, so that will have to do, for now.

He’ll write that paper and they won’t be just words, because thinking that you can end someone’s entire life in one sentence is wrong. It’s a trick. “They’re gone” cannot be the end of Johnny and Dally, not if Pony has any say in this. Their lives mattered, and nobody deserves to be forgotten with a simple fact.

But he’ll finish his cigarette first.

He will finish this cigarette and come back home while trying not to look at all the spots where Johnny is supposed to be hanging out, and he will continue living.

Whatever that means anyways.

#posted this a few days ago but took it down because i wanted to edit some parts and post it on today because it's an important day for me #anyways #here it is <3 #my writing: the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #dallas winston #writing #queue

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yeolmae-s · 3 years

Text

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l

before anything else there are a few disclaimers i'd like to make:

i am writing this analysis right now because as a non exo stan i'm not into chanbaek that much anymore. of course i like them to some degree since i'm writing this and all but it's nothing in comparison to the way i felt about them two years ago. so i feel like it's easier to keep a less clouded (?) state of mind being where i'm at right now, mentally, in regards to them. i feel like i can look at things more objectively, which is why i decided to write this and share it with you all.

for all the smart asses out there, this is a ship analysis. yes, i’m reading too much into everything. that’s what an analysis is.

all translation credits goes to @/fyeah-chanyeol

i'm a chanyeol stan. this analysis will, most likely, have more information about him in comparison to baekhyun. this is simply because i consumed more content about him since he's my bias (such as magazine interviews, fancams).

i don't stan exo anymore, but it's not because of anything they did. i liked them for a long time and made a lot of different friends because of this fandom, therefore i experienced a lot of hurt, scandals, fights and didn't deal very well with many things, so i decided to leave. this didn't happen because of exo themselves and neither did it happen because of the fandom itself. it happened because of the relationships i had.

that being said, i haven't been following them closely for the past year and a half, but i still keep up with stuff a bit, although not chanbaek related stuff since i gotta dive in kinda deeper for that lmao. so this analysis is mostly in depth for 2012-2018. if anything that you perceive as significant happened after 2018 i'm more than willing to hear your opinions about it.

so, let's get started!!

MAMA ERA

I have always felt like Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship was strange. I started shipping them when they debuted and more specifically because of the 130128 ISAC. When I was younger I didn't see a lot to discuss in their ISAC interactions besides it being cute and shippy, but I've started to look at it differently now.

I think everyone knows how ISAC is known for being basically a stage for fanservice. The whole "dating ground for idols" issue aside, judging from the amount of attention they direct towards the fans who manage to attend the event, idols are clearly instructed to perform fanservice. EXO's first ISAC had to be full of it, obviously, and they did give fans a lot to be happy about, content we still get giddy about to this day, and I'm sure they were instructed to act like this to please us. I don't believe that fanservice equals "false interactions": if two individuals are talking, touching each other, they are interacting, even if it is a carefully planned setting made specifically for pleasing fans. They still get reactions out of one another through these interactions, it is still relevant to the way these people's relationship will develop; even though these acts are done with the intent of pleasing a crowd.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't think the 2013 ISAC fanservice changed anything in Chanbaek's relationship. In fact, I just want to use it as a way to illustrate something I will explain later on.

To be remembered in an industry you must have an image. You won't be getting anywhere without a carefully constructed visual image. Marilyn Monroe is always used as an example of this: she's someone you can easily make a costume of and people will instantly recognize it as her. She's basically a concept by now: blonde hair, red lips and white hair. These aspects take our mind back to her instantly. Of course, most celebrities don't achieve this type of icon status, but it is still important to cling to a specific concept/image of what you want your celebrity self to be perceived as. Without this, you'll be forgotten as soon as your career ends.

When Chanyeol debuted, he clung to the first trait they gave him: being a happy person, a.k.a "happy virus". If you were not an EXO fan back in 2013 then it's likely you're not even aware of this nickname that was given to him, but it's basically just what it sounds like (lol). He was bright, energetic, had a "teeth rich" smile (another nickname that was given to him back then), was able to give 10/10 laughter reactions to MCs and to his members jokes, was always enthusiastic to interact and smile towards fans. He even introduced himself as "happy virus Chanyeol" in interviews (and later on that changed to "EXO's voice Chanyeol" or "EXO's rapper Chanyeol").

I feel like Chanyeol was very much aware of this "must have" that I mentioned, this need to have an image pasted into yourself and have that image be what people will remember you as. We're all complex and multifaceted individuals, but the general public needs something simple to grab on to, something easy to remember. That happy guy from EXO? I know who he is! I'm sure this is the path Chanyeol chose, back when he debuted: to pick a trait given to you by the public and make it a huge part of your image.

However, that image of him didn't last very long. It certainly became tiring to worry so much about how he was being perceived, to carefully construct something so his career would last, specially when his group had so many scandals and went through a sudden burst of popularity that changed their lives completely. By 2017, Chanyeol already had a change of mind in relation to his career, these changes being mostly due to how he felt about music and what he wanted to do with it.

He recognized himself as having always being impatient, which might be the reason why he clung to a specific image so fast right after debuting:

From Fall Magazine in 2017

"At the moment I just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though I have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, I could call it more of a greed to do better."

"When I first debuted I thought I was very optimistic, but as time has passed I think a more reserved side of me is showing."

"I think I've grown in many ways. Maybe it’s because it’s as though I perform everyday, but the stage has become comfortable for me. Shall we say I’ve become more calm and composed? [...] I think I’ve become more mature."

He matured. He's still bright and energetic but he's also more reserved. He managed to keep up the fanservice that his fans adore in a way that is more fitting to his actual personality. It still is an image, but an image that's not as exhausting as his previous one, with its strict demands to act in a certain way all the time. I remember specific interview with MCs demanding him to smile (although jokingly, of course) saying things like "Aren't you EXO's happy virus?", so I'm sure he felt pressured.

This is interesting to think about when put side by side with his relationship with Baekhyun. Back when they debuted, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close friends that clearly felt comfortable with each other, and it isn't surprising to think that Baekhyun would be Chanyeol's first pick when he thought about doing fanservice with someone. Of course, I can't exactly pinpoint their first fanservice moment since I'm not a walking EXO encyclopedia anymore, but I can say with certainty that both of them felt like it worked as soon as they first tried it with the fans, and that's the reason why they kept doing it. Conveniently, they were both good friends, so all was good.

Until well, it wasn't.

At some point, Chanyeol's interactions with Baekhyun seemed too eager for Baekhyun himself. There are various moments where this is visible, such as this one:

Why are you grabbing my wrist out of nowhere young man........

Or...

That one pic where Jongdae, who was in front of them, looked so damn uncomfortable I can't even bring myself to google it

Of course, they had some over the top fanservice that did work out pretty well, such as this one, both of them imitating Jonghyun's and Taemin's Internet War stage, which seems a little scripted now that I look at it properly, with Baekhyun seemingly expecting Chanyeol to do whatever it is that he did on that day. (Can you imagine this: both of them backstage, watching Jonghyun's and Taemin's performance in silence, and one of them just blurts out "We should do that too!". What the fuck was going on)

By the way, if you have never seen the original Internet War performance, you can watch it here.

This is what they were imitating.

Tumblr won’t let me upload the gifs for this moment for some reason, so here and here.

You can't tell me Baekhyun wasn't expecting it already, lol.

Now, know what this moment reminds me of? ISAC. On their Internet War imitation moment, Baekhyun seemed fine, playful, even, agreeing. During ISAC, however, doing basically the same thing again (this time on a lighter way even; since they weren't, you know. Imitating a strong performance such as Internet War.), he appears reluctant. It's a bit painful to watch.

What changed? The ISAC event happened a few months after the SMTOWN concert where they did the Internet War thing, so what made things become so different?

If this has enough likes I’ll make a second part!

#i got tired halfway through writing and i decided i needed some motivation to finish this so i'm posting it the way it is lmao #chanbaek #baekyeol #park chanyeol #byun baekhyun #exo #kpop

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