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#cause like. man. ive been saying some really mean stuff about him lately havent i? and like. been making all of this about myself
laikahh · 3 months
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i wanna go to sleep so bad but my throat is sore as fuckk and its making me feel like shit
#day summary umm. i felt bad ? also played the sims from morning til like 4 or 5 pm#woke up at 6 btw#dad made dinner. it was good cause of course it was hes a great cook#i wanna be as good as him someday#back to the feeling bad thing. mghh its like#im worried that hes (guy ive pissing and shitting my pants over for the past month or five) like. seeing my posts#cause like. man. ive been saying some really mean stuff about him lately havent i? and like. been making all of this about myself#when like. hes the guy whos moving away. hes the one thats in a super stressful situation rn#with the Everything i am not going to talk about cause he deserves some privacy. i dont have it nearly as bad#i dont have it bad at all !!! what the fuck am i even upset about. some fucking ''abandonment'' i Made Up#im not being abandoned what im going through is like. collateral damage. but like not even.#im just. worried that hes seeing all this. seeing me be like this. and that he doesnt like it#and now he doesnt know how to like. even approach talking to me again. or something like that i dont know !!!#what am i even upset about. he gave me some of the best memories ill ever have and made me feel like im alive#& now its over. oh well. it is what it is. my suffering isnt unique there are thousands of people like me. lets find community in that.#ugh. i only ever feel good nowadays when i imagine it all working out for us#i want to be with him and i want him to want me and i want him near me and i want it all to be easy. love shouldnt be this hard.#wooo yeah okay im done. i love it when the mood swings. the mood loves to swing it is its favourite activity in the world#voidcore.txt
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leiriswhore · 3 years
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‘MEGUMI AS A BOYFRIEND’ HEADCANON
content warning: curses, slight sexual, one jujutsu spoiler, probably some wrong spellings 'cause i type fast.
pairings: fushiguro megumi x gender neutral!reader (there's no pronouns mentioned)
note: ehhh, ive been really busy lately and i havent posted for a month? or two. months, anyways heres a megumi ones because i lack jujutsu content on my blog. fingers are numb right now, ive been writing and doing my project for the past three days. i dont even know what the fuck am i talking about while posting this.
m.list
such a soft boyfie <3 we all know that he's an introvert and if you're an introvert too? two of you will be spending time in his room or yours. probably just cuddling and rant to each other.
if you're having social anxiety or your social battery runs out, he'll notice it once you get quiet or you'll tug his arm. he will not hesitate to get out of that place or the people that made you uncomfortable.
if he's on a mission and you'll be spending time inside his room or going out with nobara (if he's not with them) he'll make you a cute letter, his handwriting is clean as fuck. “i'm sorry i can't be with you today, the white haired man said that i should find sukuna's fingers, im gonna punch him later, love you. don't forget to eat the breakfast i made.”
doesn't get jealous a lot because he knew that you wouldn't be cheating or doing something awful behind his back. if he does get jealous, you'll notice that he's trying to ignore you because his mood isn't quite great and he gets irritated easily when he's not in the mood.
megumi's plans on dates is not that extravagant. he plans on picnic dates, something that is really special or is a special place for him or yours. he will wear his favourite t-shirt or the ones that gojo gifted him on his birthdays.
when you're on your period, he usually just let you do your own 'cause you know, he thinks that girls gets on everybody's nerves when they get their time of the month. he'll call nobara to help you out and if your period is really bad? he'll spend the whole day cuddling with you or massaging your tummy.
he'a such a caring boyfriend, totally such a sweetheart  there are moments when he misses his mom so much that you'll be comforting him while he vents or bursting his emotions out on how life sucks for him. he knows that someone have it worse but you convince him that everyone has a different experiences and that doesn't mean that his problems are invalid.
sees you wearing his hoodie after sexy time? there's probably a round two. in his mind, wearing his t-shirts or just owning his stuff is just making him assure that you won't leave him and makes him more hornier.
despite him being thay soft boy he is, he doesn't hold hands with you a lot on public. 'cause you know what he is. so if you're hurt or just sad that he didn't want you to hold his hand? or very affectionate that he usually is? he regrets it and asks for advice on gojo even though he knows that the albino man will make fun of him.
seeing you in the bathroom doing skin care? he'll have you in an embrace on your back and asks you to do the 'thing' to him. lol, he'll get flustered when you position yourself on his lap but you say that it's just for you to get comfortable and can't get your arms (forgot the mf word).
lets you lay your head on his lap whilst he watches his favourite tv shows or he watches it with you while you place your head on his lap. or just scrolling through your phone whilst he's playing with your hair.
sweetboy! he opens the door to let you in first or just do classic gentleman things. kinda makes you all fluster even if he does it pretty often.
this man doesn't care about your physical self or anything that you're insecure with. the fact that i have a scar, i think that he won't give a shit about it and he sees people having scars like; utahime and jujutsu kaisen spoilers!!!! or with maki's scar. it just normal to him to see someone having it.
if he's aware that your family doesn't treat you right? he'll be avoiding them to family dinners 'cause you won't go to celebrate or go on a vacation with them too.
and the last thing is that he loves seeing you smile, your smile is perfect, literally everything. he loves your little giggles or laughs. one of his memories is when you fall on the floor after having a pillow fight with him and the two of broke in a idiotic laughter. this man adores you so much that he imagines himself getting old with you because he thinks that you're the only person he will love his whole life. those best and sad memories makes the relationship grow stronger. he loves spending time with you. ♡
reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated.
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1990jeevas · 3 years
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I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?
Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.
The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.
okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:
1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.
2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.
(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)
so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.
anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.
basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk
but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.
and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.
and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.
tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".
anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.
thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.
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jaredpostz · 3 years
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hey hey hey i made a mpdsap iceberg a little while back and i thought it would be fun to yell into the void about it, because why not. i havent explained the lore to my followers yet and ill probably reblog this to my main tbh
[little disclaimer that a lot of these are based off of made up lore and ocs on my main account. if youre strictly canon only then i wouldnt recommend this for you. if you’re interested but have no knowledge about said lore, i will give basic explanations]
LAYER 1
Joey Perleoni: joey perleoni is well known as the poster of the anti-piracy videos, who, recently, has involved himself more in the videos. joey in my lore is depicted as mostly emotionless or “empty” with no remorse for his actions.
Mario Party DS Anti-Piracy OST: on the channel, there is pretty convincing fake music for the series, there’s not much else to say about it other than it’s SUPER bangin’
Joey was arrested: in a video titled ‘the police are at my house’, joey is taken in by the police. he is presumably in prison
Luigi is the victim: in all of the videos posted, luigi is the main character, and is often considered the victim of the horrible events happening.
Hex code translations: in the videos, there are several hex codes, which can be translated to several different things. the ones we’ve found are hellsatan, luigimod, thx4luv, watchdemon.jit etc.
Reggie Fils-Amie video: on joey’s channel, his first upload has nothing to do with mpdsap, but rather it’s a video filming a joke reggie made about mother 3. it’s unknown if this is connected or not.
LAYER 2
Joey interview: a user by the name of simonejoys interviewed joey perleoni, he said some pretty interesting things actually, here’s the link if anyone’s interested: https://youtu.be/v6AkkxS9LK4
Luxury station and Quiznos: luxury station is joey’s second account, revolving a few strange videos about a place named quiznos. it’s unknown if this is connected or not
Hudson (the man): in my lore, there is a character named hudson, who inherited the company. he’s considered the person who made the anti-piracy screens, or at least encouraged it strongly. this character is based off of some text in host hoedown, which translates to “hudson - this is not necessary. it will extend the launch considerably.” (also i know hudson is the name of the company but the time i found out it was too late)
“Joey no longer runs the account” theory: there was a theory going around after joey’s arrest that someone else is running the account, since there should be no way he should keep posting. this is probably deconfirmed by now
Joey doesn’t feel much emotion: as stated before, my depiction of joey is that of “mostly emotionless or completely empty”. there is no reason for this currently (it’s kind of a case study at this point tbfh)
DJ Hallyboo is based on MC Ballyhoo: in mario party 8 for the wii, there is a character that bears extreme resemblance to DJ Hallyboo, named MC Ballyhoo. they have the same voice clips used, similar names, and somewhat similar designs. MC Ballyhoo is the host of mario party 8. it is general considered that DJ Hallyboo is a beta version of MC Ballyhoo by fans.
LAYER 3
Electric chair: in the video simply titled “mario party ds anti piracy |”, where joey sits on a chair and boots up mario party ds, a few comments were floating around joking about him getting the electric chair. this hasn’t been confirmed
Hudson and Joey used to be friends: this is mostly outdated now, but there was a joke timeline where hudson and joey were friends in the past. not gonna cover it any further than that because it’s an old concept now
MC Ballyhoo and DJ Hallyboo are the same person: in my lore, the general consensus is that MC Ballyhoo and DJ Hallyboo are the same person, with split personalities. he is also either sentient or extremely aware.
Joey is god: in my lore, there is a mostly bizzare idea that joey is divine and has always been divine. he became “a god” by doing criminal acts, or sacrificing luigi. i can’t tell you if this is canon to my lore or not yet though - it started as a meme, but i really do like the idea somehow.
“Waiter, your finger’s in the soup!”: a mysterious quote with no real meaning that was quoted by joey a couple of times. it is connected to a short comic. nobody has found out what it means yet or why it’s being posted about.
LAYER 4
“Joey does drugs” joke: (TW // DRUG ABUSE)
this joke spawned from something i learned in school. apparently people who abuse illegal drugs gradually start feeling less dopamine doing normal activities over time, due to drug overstimulation. this was jokingly connected to joey’s chronic emptiness and inability to feel anything, with the joke that he does meth or some other illegal drug. it’s also noted that drug abusers are likely to commit other crimes. this is of course, not serious at all.
Joey stole MPDS from mcdonalds: this is a personal theory of mine. mcdonalds and MPDS have absolutely no connection - so why are they attempted to be connected at all? in the video, it describes a demo being sold in happy meals at mcdonalds - it’s a possibility that joey stole the demo from mcdonalds, and doesn’t actually have the full game.
Joey wearing the same clothes as the character: i have drawn joey with a yellow sweater (with orange sleeves) and grey shorts for a while now. in the mcdonalds video, he was wearing nearly the same outfit (with the exception of the shorts being pants). he also has brown hair, which i predicted, but it’s much darker. this is probably a coincidence but it’s pretty freaky honestly.
Techwalker: this will probably be the longest segment in the iceberg and the most lore heavy. techwalker was joey’s old channel. he made extremely different content - mainly of which was just bothering random people on the street and at conventions. he has described himself as a “journalist”, but this is all basically fun and games. these videos are now unlisted and i will not be linking them nor telling you where to find them for privacy reasons. i don’t want to get in trouble. if i find any of yall spreading it around im taking down the post and will probably not talk about this again, you dont want that, i dont want that, nobody wants that really.
in the lore, techwalker is not joey. they are 2 seperate people - but they live in the same body. what this means is that either one can take control at a time - joey is completely numb to everything around him, but tech is a pretty happy go lucky and social person. they have different personalities, morals, names and lead different lives. tech even wears glasses (assuming he has some kind of impaired eyesight), and joey does not.
(this has been confused with dissociative identity disorder. while i don’t mind people interpreting my content in whatever way they’d like, considering this is just fan-lore, this was not the intent. i do not have DID and i don’t want to speak for anyone who has DID.)
the general consensus is that tech is dead, or at least completely drowned out, and joey has taken complete control. joey and tech were practically mortal enemies and polar opposites of each other. (joey constantly being annoyed or uninterested in tech’s hyperactivity, and tech not trusting joey to be responsible or ‘law abiding’)
anyways
whew
i typed a lot of stuff.
thats all i have to say about this, if this gains any major traction (and i doubt it will) or causes problems, i will probably delete the post entirely. so be good lol
alright im gonna go ive been writing for 45 minutes or so
im out
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getallemeralds · 3 years
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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21
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zoom and enhonse
LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats
DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today
CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//
so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza
(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)
OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.
i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo
we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE
[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.
time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then
nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing
thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)
silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]
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THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog
EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE
sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text
charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this
i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"
charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons
charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP
oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.
thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem
solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.
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michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME
its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.
jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE
we are just calling it a weird dog
we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,
JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!
solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found
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silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!
man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.
we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans
UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL
huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.
used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.
i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.
charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.
okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.
oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered
k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,
time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that
first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog
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(oh my god this is from late 2018)
leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead
nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables
WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions
HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]
camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent
man remember when charlie didnt wear pants
oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!
okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.
ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.
SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE
charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!
LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian
jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,
we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.
michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.
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BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)
THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL
sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.
man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?
solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]
prophecies are weird.
charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money
oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"
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parkersvibes · 5 years
Text
finding out peter is spiderman
read part one here
a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:
(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )
warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst
pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader
• figuring out he was spiderman
• alright you’re a stark
• but no one knows that
• but you’re really intuitive
• so there were little things you started to notice
• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)
• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses
•and i guess started almost bulking up????
• he got WAY taller
• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him
• holy mother of god
• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT
• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK
• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs
• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??
• must be nice
• but then things got more sus
• all of a sudden he was skipping class more
• leaving early
• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned
• and you and ned were clueless
• you and ned started hanging out more
• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU
• he was like this little ball of happiness
• you found out his real name is Edward
• HOW CUTE
• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD
• ngl pete got a bit jealous
• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN
• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”
• “hm”
• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”
• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”
• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”
• “wdym?”
• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”
• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”
• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”
• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now
• “ned i just. it’s complicated”
• “like peter’s family?”
• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”
• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”
• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”
• “what’re their names”
• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING
• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”
• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA
• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”
• natasha was gonna have your ass
• “y/n,,,”
• “yeah”
• “you’re a horrible liar”
• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”
• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”
• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr
• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”
• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”
• so you told him the truth. you were a stark
• and well,,, he reacted with
• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”
• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy
• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology
• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky
(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)
• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers
• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”
• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*
• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*
• only the two of you getting vine and meme references
• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)
• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”
• anywaayyy
• ned was SHOOK
• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”
• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”
• *led to him asking 100000 questions*
• “does Mr. America smell like old man”
• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”
• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”
• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”
• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”
• “do they ever chafe in their suits”
• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”
• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth
• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD
• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”
• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same
• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned
• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”
• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”
• “peter cmon, it’s just me”
• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out
• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)
• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard
• ouch
• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt
• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone
• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault
• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it
• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”
• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”
• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings
• so you closed off
• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong
• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”
• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”
• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”
• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”
• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”
• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”
• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore
• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff
• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy
• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine
• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”
• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”
• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“
• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet
• needless to say
• your jaw dripped
• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”
• *seconds pass*
• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”
• *silence*
• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”
• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“
• spiderman- “y/n”
• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE
• you- “p-peter???”
• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”
• you- “so-something like that yeah”
• peter takes off his mask
• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”
• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”
• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*
*insert silence*
• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone
• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”
• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*
• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”
• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)
• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”
• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”
• you- “why didn’t you tell me”
• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)
• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”
• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*
• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON
• you stepped closer to him
• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”
• “no more secrets?”
• “no more secrets”
• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME
• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY
• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment
• wow he is really cozy
• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*
• led to MANY questions at dinner
• and so everything went back to “normal”
• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word
• WHAT
• so much for no secrets
taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238
some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites
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bladekindeyewear · 5 years
Text
Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 15 - Candy Page 34
==>
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John finally decides to let the relevance of his story end, and enjoy that he’s made at least some of his other friends happy with his choice.  Time to read Page 34...
VRISKA: Pfft, yeah, wh8tever. I’m basically Immortal, bitch.
Preeeetty sure you’re confusing yourself with one of your parents.
Pff, actual healthy kismesis with a Tavros?  Wow, we’re getting all sorts of redemption by not-really-Vriska proxy here.
HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always getting all weepy whenever i talk to him anyway. HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could have taken another round of him choking back tears while apologizing to me about “what happened with me and your mother, harry.” HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, god. he’s not even fucking DRUNK when he does this. HARRY ANDERSON: that might actually be the most embarrassing part.
.......
Okay, having grown up with a father who suffered from serious depression and would break into tears embarrassingly easily, uh.  I can relate?  But also fuck you, that’s inconsiderate.
--Dammit, new Vriska is catching wind of old Vriska.
Vriska and (Vriska) both start shrieking at a pitch John’s only ever heard one time before. It was a sound that once accompanied the end of everything. A sound once heard the night he dreamt in anime.
Oh that’s brilliant.  If the entire Candy arc ended here it’d be great, though I know it’s not quite over yet.
==>
...Oh shit, we actually get to see what happens immediately next.
Interesting introspective thoughts!  Or, trying her best NOT to be introspective and failing.
Oh my god, SHUT UP Gamzee.  Vriska, just kill him already??
PFFF HE SENT A PIC OF IT TO KARKAT :D
Pfff.  Yeah, Vriska, TRY and ignore what just happened and how it was almost entirely your idea.
(Vriska) is so furious, she has no way of pinpointing the exact moment her intent stopped being intimidating him into silence and started being guaranteeing his silence, forever.
Thank FUCKING goodness, PLEASE kill him.
YAY he’s dead! :D  (Even though he’ll probably revive anyway because bullshit.)
Heheh. NOW we get a cross-Vriska heart to heart.
==>
Alright, a bit more John moping.  Man... this Candy section is a whole lot easier to swallow AFTER Meat than I imagine it would have been before.
.....heck.  EITHER of these epilogue branches are really fucking hard to swallow the first time around without the other’s context.
Oh huh, it’s his house from the Medium then?  Relocated and stuff?
Jake, hm.  Is Jake going to try and leave his son with John like that failed kidnapping in reverse or?
Jake snaps the elastic on his pair of red underpants. It’s the only thing he’s wearing.
Oooookay then.
JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when i left. Nothing she er, might miss. TAVROS: You took me,
Jake winces.
TAVROS: And,,, you took you,
Jake’s wince deepens.
Oh, so that’s what this is!  Jake fleeing with his son from an abusive relationship.  About gosh darn time.  .....geez, how bad did it get for JAKE to finally muster the gumption to do that himself after all these years???
Jake is one whole wince now
I know THAT feeling.  Or at least feel like I do.
John you dedicate your life to keeping this child happy
JOHN: it’s just been kind of a rough forever.
:C
JAKE: Maybe you should blame me? JAKE: Maybe i need someone to blame me. For once. JOHN: ...huh? JAKE: I think im starting to realize that ive been going through life with the mindset that nothing has ever really been within my control.
YES.
This is how Vriska broke Tavros way back in the comic, by constantly denying him agency.  Jake’s been battered down the same way too, and it’s not too late to pick up the reins.  He’s already DONE that by finally leaving his genocidal wife.
There’s a bit of Page of Hope-yness to this whole disastrous Candy timeline, come to think of it?  People fulfilling others’ desires out of obligation constantly, doing what they think others want?  Roxy, Jake, Dave and Karkat... all fucked over at the aggressive whims of more active folk, rolling over when they really shouldn’t have?  Or in Roxy’s case, her CHARACTER basically SHOULD NOT HAVE IN THE SLIGHTEST?
JAKE: Havent you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?
Huh.
Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?
Yes.  You can act and change this too, John.  You almost did with the kidnapping before!  Go and take down the new Batterwitch.
Hm, Hopey thing?
JAKE: John. JOHN: yeah? JAKE: Take my hand. JOHN: what? why?
Oh shit.  Are they going to be able to FIX some of this BS with some sort of hopey thing??? :D  Probably too much to hope for but still!
Being flung from Jake’s orbit of Hope and Change
Pffff.  Had to throw in an Obama didn’t you.
...Oh.  Oh wow.  Oh we get to figure out what the fuck was up with Roxy all this time.  Oh boy.
JAKE: So what if it doesnt change anything? Wont it matter to your family to see you care? JAKE: Wont it make you feel better to try?
:D
Heheh, Hope aspecty stuff.  The ability to believe that something matters even when you “know” it doesn’t.
==>
...Yeah, it’s pretty easy to relax on a dead Gamzee.
Oh cool.  These Vriskas are alike enough to bond!  New Vriska is still in her teenage unbalanced go-for-it stage, and old Vriska has been knocked down a peg by the clown incident, putting them on a close enough level to not want to instantly disown each other, unlike old Vriska and ghost Vriska.
VRISKA: The Mayor’s dead, dude.
HOW did the Mayor die?!??  Did I just FORGET that from the end of Homestuck or something??
(I mean, probably.)
Callback to the clouds in that first Jade dream John had.
(VRISKA): Or may8e the truth just makes me kind of nervous. VRISKA: What “Truth”? (VRISKA): Don’t tell him I said this, 8ut, I think John is just an extremely powerful 8eing. Even when he sucks. (VRISKA): And he certainly does appear to suck in this reality. (VRISKA): And yet, the uneasy feeling is there. (VRISKA): It’s a vague feeling I’ve had in the 8ack of my mind for a long time, 8ut it really hit me when I was talking to him earlier. (VRISKA): It’s distur8ing to think a8out that much power 8ottled up in one stupid nerd who’ll never understand it. VRISKA: What Power are you even talking a8out? VRISKA: Like, lame Wind Powers? (VRISKA): No, I mean... (VRISKA): The power to shape reality. Even without intending to.
FUCK did he really cause all this??? Even the Roxy shit?!???  D:  D:  D:
It’s being left vague but it IS sounding like John was actually RIGHT about all that stuff.  FUCK, if the “villain” who messed up Roxy is actually just John’s subconscious...  :C
Even if the epilogue ends right here, though, with John about to call Roxy, I can imagine it working out, though.  It’s on a right enough track there.
(VRISKA): I’ve spent so long caring so much a8out what other people thought of me. Mainly that they saw me as important, or making a “difference.”
Mhmm mhmm.  Light n stuff.
Yeah, realizing that importance isn’t ALL that’s “important” is really, um.  Important.  Ahem.
Hm, other Vriska, that smile had seven pairs of dots, not eight.  :?
(VRISKA): The POINT is, I was so mad at her. (VRISKA): That happy ghost version of myself, who was free of everything. (VRISKA): I was pro8a8ly mad 8ecause she got to 8e who she really was, without stressing a8out it, which is something I never felt like I was allowed to have.
Indeed.
(VRISKA): I guess I mean there’s someone specifically I fell out of touch with, who it feels like I’ll never see again.
Too bad, only ghost Vriska got her reunite with ‘Rezi.  :P
(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her... (VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.
Yyyep.  As I said.  :)
VRISKA: You’re just talking a8out The Girl You 8linded that one time, aren’t you? (VRISKA): Ummmmmmmm.
Heheh.  Yeah, you’re not going to hide that sort of thing from your sharp near-clone.
Oh cool!  She gets to see all those messages and feel turboguilt or something.
...oh shit.  Is a message going to actually get to her?  It-- oh shit.  Didn’t Terezi have her phone buzzing in her pocket and ignored it in the end of Meat or something?  Or at SOMEONE did and I thought it conspicuous but it didn’t get addressed in that side of the story and-- FFFFuck is she eventually going to see it or??!  D:
She’s GOT to have seen it before running all the way off with villain Dirk, right?? D:
==>
Okay.  You seem to be thinking clearly, Roxy.  What’s going through your head? Give us some answers.  Don’t fuck this up too much, John.
but she knows by now that it’s not her job to make him happy. That was something she gave up on years ago. But wanting to? That feeling is still as fresh as it always was.
FUCK was this all just a placid feeling of obligation to make John happy for all he did to ensure victory or something??? D: D: D:
She’s still working through what she feels about distancing herself from Jane
Yesssss
If he’s truly about to be real with her for the first time in forever,
Gosh fucking DARNIT John, you could have fixed all this DECADES AGO if you had a real talk with her ONCE!!!!!
ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit ROXY: u might relate JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.
:c
JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are. JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it. JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life. JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally. JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault. JOHN: but even before that... JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did— JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do— JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.
...Huh.
That may not actually be true, and Roxy might be about to prove how self-absorbedly reductive that is.
ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man
Okay YES.  If this wasn’t him, then SET HIM THE FUCK STRAIGHT.  :D
She knows more than he does, and she doesn’t need to hear it.
TELL US TELL US TELL US
YES TEAR INTO HIM he’s wanted that for so long stand up for yourself and tell us what the fuck happened and why
He’s been looking at her, really looking at her, and she doesn’t want to blink, just in case that shatters it.
Yes because he was looking for the real Roxy that would call out his BS
JOHN: i used to be so angry that you wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before. JOHN: not like i wanted to FIGHT fight, but like. JOHN: i’m just not used to this flavor of roxy. ROXY: hm ROXY: sounds to me like u just disproved ur own hotshot theory then genius JOHN: huh? ROXY: you wished i was one way the whole time we were married ROXY: but i wasnt
YES!!! Yes his theory’s disproven!  He never WANTED Roxy to just act that way, he wasn’t the cause of this, I was hoping for that!  :D
ROXY: i was bad at standin up for myself then and im learnin to be good at it now
D:
That’s....... sad, if that’s the explanation.  But it’s better than mind control I guess.  :(
JOHN: but... JOHN: you were never like that before i... ROXY: dude ROXY: where tf do u get off trying to decide what is or isnt me being “like me” enuff ROXY: do u think ppl stay the same their whole damn lives or what
Oh wow.  Now Andrew’s slamming SLAMMING of fanfics.  He’s saying “who are you to know for SURE that they wouldn’t act that way”??  That’s pretty good.
ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy
:’)
Mhmm, and they’re free from the heroic design arcs or what have you.  Or... were, until Dirk tore them back in again.  Tossed aside their fucking victory with his selfish... ugh.
Mhmm, Roxy’s the perfect person to explain that not being in a canon, Light-filled timeline isn’t really a bad thing.
ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?
Roxy thinks about time and the spirals of choice that hang just outside her periphery, and the vertigo grows.
Good advice, and hm.  Maybe there’s some Void sight kind of playing into this as well, making it easy for her to get paralyzed by indecision and she’s had to learn to work through it.
...Ooh, that was a really cool non-binary gender diatribe in the narrative text.  That’s some nice stuff.  I felt like that was missing from the Meat side, glad we got it here at least.  :D
JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward. JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.
Thank goodness.
YES, JOHN SHOWING HIMSELF STRAIGHT-BACKED FOR HIS SON!!! :D
Man, I wish my dad had done that instead of all the other shit he did.  At least he’s dead.  :)
(Here’s a hint in case you’re wondering why I was relieved when my Dad offed himself.)
But that’s off topic.  Let’s wrap up this epilogue already!!
==>
Page 39... only three or so pages left, right?
Pff, Karkat’s keeping them safe.
Heheh, more shitty Liberty statues.
Heheh, using them for weapons caches.
Gosh I hope they actually love each other and are mostly happy.  Jade seems happy, at least.  :(
Dammit, there go the doubts.  He wouldn’t have had those doubts with Karkat. :C
He’s standing in the Oval Office of the White House.
Oh heck yes.  Please tell me...
And over there... is something he doesn’t quite recognize. It doesn’t seem to fit in. He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.
YES
Dave doesn’t waste any time. You don’t find something like this in the Oval Office and start agonizing over whether or not to use it. He steps on the platform, and in a blink his surroundings are completely different. The centuries of overgrowth are gone, and he appears to be in some sort of crypt, boxed in by walls of smooth, golden stone. At the far side of the room, something is hanging on the wall, encased in a sort of display. It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.
HELL FUCKING YES
YES OBAMA
OBAMA: Hello, Mr. Strider. OBAMA: I’ve been waiting a long time for you to show up.
Dave’s jaw hangs open. The legends have been confirmed. As well as several key headcanons of his. Without thinking, he drops to one knee and bows his head.
DAVE: m... mr president DAVE: its an honor sir
Man, forget my past stomach clenching.  Forget my hesitations, my turbulent emotions, all the ups and downs the various facets of these Epilogue chapters have given me.  THIS is the best.  THIS makes it all worth it.  This is the best thing to have ever happened, and if I ever feel any regrets about ANYTHING that transpired in the Epilogues, I’ll feel infinitely better the moment I remember it gave us THIS.
The most beautiful scene I’ve ever witnessed.  All my liberal, economy-ranting hopes and dreams confirmed.  It’s glorious.
OBAMA: Come on now, Dave. We can’t be having that. OBAMA: I’m nobody’s king. I’m a democratically elected representative who took an oath to serve his country and his people. People like you, Dave. OBAMA: If anything, I should be the one bowing.
OBAMA.  I MISSED YOU OBAMA.  I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGH YOUR TEXT AND ITS SO COMFORTING AND UPLIFTING
DAVE: mr president what i mean is im a huge fan of yours and i hope this doesnt sound fucked up but on some level i feel like ive been waiting my whole life for this moment?? OBAMA: I know, Dave.
Yes, yes you have.  Yes, we can.
OBAMA: Most people thought I was gone. But I was keeping an eye on events. OBAMA: Wouldn’t miss it for anything.
I, too, would like to have the feeling that Obama is still out there, keeping an eye on things.  Watching, smiling... providing some last background of Hope as things seem so temporarily sour.  That feeling would be amazing.
...I mean he’s still alive IRL, sure, but not Obama watermark smiling lovingly from the sky or anything like it should be.
Yes, back to reading.  Back to this glorious, definitely canon moment.  The moment we learned that Obama was with us the whole time.  :’)
DAVE: sorry if this is nosy but if you didnt die when you disappeared then how did you die OBAMA: Most of that is classified, Dave.
Pfffffff  :D
OBAMA: When I was a boy living in Hawaii, on my thirteenth birthday I was visited by a mysterious stranger. OBAMA: He was an older man with a mustache. Kind of a corny, old-fashioned, adventuring type. He tried to convince me we were related. Of course, I thought he was full of shit. OBAMA: To this day, I’m not sure about that. Maybe he was. I didn’t think much of his tall tale at the time, but what did pique my interest was his story. OBAMA: He was voyaging all over the Pacific looking for a mysterious island, which supposedly had all the answers he’d spent his whole life searching for. OBAMA: During his travels, he set up outposts all over the ocean to help with his search. Such as one near where I lived as a boy. The outpost had a laboratory, an archeological dig site, a network of underground tunnels, the works. OBAMA: One time, I snuck in there and did some exploration of my own. Somewhere in the maze of underground ruins, I found a transporter pad, just like the one that brought you here. OBAMA: It sent me to a new realm. A place they called the Medium.
Grandpa Jake of Earth A, thank you SO much for bringing us this gift.  The gift of Obama.
OBAMA: Hey, why don’t we take a walk. You’ll have a chance to collect yourself. And there’s something I’d like you to see.
:O :O :O
I am shivering with anticipation.
Ah, leave it to Obama to help Dave with the final steps of his character arc.
OBAMA: Are you sure that’s all he is, Dave?
FIX THINGS OBAMA!!!! :D :D :D
Wait, what if Obama can turn things into an actually legitimate DaveKatJade?  That would be a miracle only a god of Hope could pull off.
OBAMA: I’ve had my share of doubts about all that, just like any other man. OBAMA: And I’ve had plenty of the same kind of struggles as you, Dave. DAVE: wait DAVE: you...
Obama nods, smiles wistfully. Dave arches his eyebrows high above his shades. They stare at each other, and in the look they exchange, they seem to say all that needs to be said between two grown men on the matter.
:’)
OBAMA: Believing is the key to understanding the truth underlying the words, the truth underlying the ideas they represent, and the truth underlying who we are as individuals. OBAMA: The power of belief, the power of Hope, that’s what endows that which is intangible, ephemeral, or uncertain with a sense of reality. OBAMA: It brings focus to the insubstantial, the mirages of the mind, the multiplicity of what is possible, of what could be, and isolates it—concentrates it—to turn it into that which is. OBAMA: And the result of that, Dave, is what we call truth.
I didn’t think we’d be learning more about the Hope aspect straight from the mouth of Barack Obama.
OBAMA: He taught me about many things. Combat, philosophy, life, love... DAVE: love??? DAVE: hold on are you saying DAVE: that...
PFFFFFFFF :D :D :D
OBAMA: She’s settled happily into the specific. That’s her path now. OBAMA: All of you have embraced that life, in this safely sequestered version of planet Earth. OBAMA: All of you until now, Dave. OBAMA: This is why you’re here. OBAMA: I believe you’re ready to wake up. DAVE: ...
:O
...this is suddenly possibly going to be getting slightly sad isn’t it.  D:
--Oh shit, so THIS is where Davebot came from.
How is he going to break things off with Jade though???  D: D: D:
...Oh my GOSH he’s just going to suddenly vanish and abandon her isn’t he.  D:
...alright, merging with his other selves, et cetera...
It defers to its greatest knight, risen anew.
Yeah that’s nice but am I supposed to pretend you’re going to say goodbye to Jade offscreen or
--ah that’s why the bot didn’t have shades, gotta use the genuine Stiller ones
==>
Page 40, and the start of this sounds a lot like the Postscript.  But we’re getting more this time, thank god.
ARADIA: when i watched as everything broke apart ARADIA: and got swallowed up by the black hole ARADIA: which is where i ended up too ARADIA: that black hole... ARADIA: thats basically you right JADE: yes. ARADIA: and when you speak of your brother ARADIA: thats lord english JADE: yes. ARADIA: and hes dead JADE: not just yet.
Oh shit.  John’s final blow didn’t kill Lord English did it.  Alt!Callie is going to strike the very last killing blow herself isn’t she.
JADE: lesser beings have so much trouble perceiving divinity in the uncanny.
Divinity?  Like, Lollipop-style divinity?  I mean, I guess this IS the Candy branch...?  But what made this so “perfect” to begin with?
JADE: this world, unlike the canonical horrors from which it is hermetically insulated, will always fail to meet the combined criteria for truth, relevance, and essentiality that would endow this realm with any real gravity. JADE: its own naturally occurring supply of gravity, rather than the artificial supply i have given it. JADE: as such, what transpires here is characterized by experiential frivolity. JADE: physically, it is cordoned off by the black hole’s event horizon. it is safe. untouchable. JADE: inescapable. ARADIA: that sounds ominous
Oh.  So this outside-of-canon timeline-verse whatever that Candy takes place in is like a trap?  For Lord English to be trapped in forever, inside not just his OWN story like we thought before but into a place where he’ll be forever irrelevant, while, like... the “Prince” and others following him for pursuit or camaraderie reasons manage to escape somewhere even different?  --No wait those people are OUTSIDE this place, in the “real” timeline/universe of Earth C. So Dirk’s destination is somewhere completely different; oh, and alt!Callie is the only one with the power to escape the black hole, to bring Davebot and Aradia with her back to quote-unquote “canon” or the closest thing to it to bring bastard Dirkbro down.
Or... something.
JADE: one could describe it as a phantasmal projection confined within my horizon. JADE: it was created by a choice that made it possible for that horizon to expand infinitely, to consume infinitely. JADE: and since that choice could not coexist with canon events, this place manifested to here to support its consequences. JADE: if this world were capable of anything either essential, relevant, or true in some stable combination, then it would perpetuate a corrosive paradox. JADE: as such, insulation from what is out there, and the inescapable well it rests in, is what protects all it holds inside. JADE: and since i am the embodiment of the black hole in which it rests, JADE: i am the one protecting this world.
Oh huh.  So when we saw alt!Callie creating the black hole out of the Sun, she was actually using John’s “choice” and his timeline split to engineer the paradox that drove that singularity’s expansion?  And so she’s going to be the lord and safeguard of all that is Non-Canon, and also seek to guide the heroes trying to save what IS Canon?
Hm!
JADE: physical destruction is one thing. JADE: obliteration of the entire canvas for all of reality over a given cosmic span is another. JADE: and yet there are even more insidious forms of destruction and subversion of life to consider. JADE: methods that are difficult to grasp for those on your plane.
Yep, destroying Heart.  Destroying Soul.  Destroying the uniqueness that drives individual agency and choices, and suborning people completely to your will and ideals without their consent or choice.
Hmm....
JADE: but longer stories have the power to draw consciousness into them. they possess arresting and hypnotic qualities which can be used by their tellers to alter the awareness of the listener.
Yep, like a biased narrator with their claws on the > prompt for characters.
JADE: i brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity. JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.
Yep yep.  And by commandeering the story to his own agenda, Dirk’s been robbing everyone of a fundamental right to their own existences.
JADE: this is the sort of corruption i now must dedicate my existence in this new body to ending once and for all.
Heck Yes; returning the narrative to as objective a speakerless-ness as can be attained or simulated, and divesting the bias from agenda’d narrators that can wrest all control from the participants in a story, enslaving them and making them the author’s puppets instead of true to themselves as characters, people, etc.
--Oh my GOSH, was Dead!Jade eating the remains of Lord English at the end of that Postscript???  She was, wasn’t she?  :D :D :D
That’s pretty fucking awesome.  And a pretty fucking fair fate for him to get cannibalized by his sister.
JADE: consume his body. JADE: absorb his essence. JADE: and then using this host, i will generate enough power to move beyond the staggering pull of the event horizon encasing this world. JADE: a prison of my own making, which can be escaped only through the supreme unification with my other half. JADE: it is crucial to the cosmos that i succeed. JADE: the prince of heart has to be stopped.
:D :D :D :D :D
Pretty awesome!  A decent setup to a story that probably shouldn’t be told, the implied sequel that Meat invites up or whatever.  And... oh phew.
Oh PHEW.
OH FUCKING PHEW. HOLD ON.
So.  The very last line of the epilogue, the last bit:
The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.
Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.
Okay!  :D :D :D
So, when I read that last line, I was INCREDIBLY disheartened.  I thought that Andrew was declaring that canon would never interfere with anything again, that this was the FINAL WORD on Homestuck and everything to do with it as far as canon was concerned, and that Dirk’s crimes and such would forever go unresolved and left to the imagination.
But that’s not what the line meant.
What’s INSIDE the singularity, and thus “under” the imaginary line, is everything non-canon, all the possibility and fanfiction and dead ghosts and such who are trapped in this safeguarded realm alt!Callie created to protect them, away from the influence of any future plot danger beyond the mundane issues they create for themselves.
And what’s OUTSIDE the singularity, above the line, is canon.  A canon which actually continues, and which this line doesn’t necessarily cut short.
I don’t know if Andrew will ever continue this nonsense, maybe to show me a Rose who’s actually happy as a robot or something?  But... er, that’s not the point.  The point is that even though the story “isn’t over”, it’s left so it CAN continue, so that the final state of these ISN’T a permanent cliffhanger to be left forever unfulfilled intentionally.  I’ll still be traumatized by the state some of these characters are left in, until Andrew maybe possibly chooses to resolve some of this nonsense with later content, which he probably won’t.  Heck, this actually might be easier for him to create a new work with, given how much baggage has been left behind on old Earth and in the singularity, so all you have is a much relatively smaller cast of characters on a chase to wherever Dirk is planning to go?  But, like.  When I read that Postscript, I stopped believing anyone I saw suggesting we’d get anything after this.  Any sort of work of... you know... continuing, er, Homestuckiness from Andrew, no matter what it was.  But even just... leaving it open even if he isn’t going to DO anything about it, and having that final line NOT be an aggressive cutoff?  Is just nice.  Nicer, anyway.
And this singularity is kept safe for us to enjoy ALL of the old stuff, the multitude of possibility that the in-singularity version of Roxy glimpses out of the side of her eye.  That--
Oh my Gosh.  THAT’S also what the final line means.
Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.
Homestuck fanfiction is now COMPLETELY FREE FROM CANON.
Within this singularity, nothing has to stay true to absolutely every underpinning of the earlier comic.  Nothing has to make sense.  Nothing has to be narratively consistent with anything else, though it’s obviously more enjoyable if it is.  Truth, essentiality, and relevance may all be FLEXED as much as any individual fanfic writer needs to!  And... and earlier, before this epilogue.  When we would get Snapchat stuff of the story on Earth C.  And even before that when all we had was the ending flash.  There was still a FEAR on many parts that there was more to canon that Andrew wasn’t telling us, that whatever was in our imaginations about what may have happened was “wrong”, that any fanfic you wrote was liable to be disproven formally.  But that’s not the case anymore.  Because with that line, with alt!Callie sealing off this realm and taking just a last few soon-to-be canon-impactors out of one of its timelines, Andrew has left ALL of the earlier trappings of Homestuck, of Earth, of all these characters and ghosts and fragmented possibilities, permanently free from canon influence from the rest of time.  Meaning no Homestuck fanfic that takes place in this singularity-granted realm may EVER be busted by Andrew’s future work.  He’s done what he first aspired to do when he declared all fantrolls in existence canon.  He’s finally “killed the author”.  He’s made the very FACT of an author an enemy, to be pursued in its own canon story outside of all this.  He’s set EVERYTHING free.
Wow.  So that’s what all the point of all this was, huh?  :D
Let me read the last few pages of Candy anyway.  Where was I again?
Oh, about to click the last page.  ==>
Oh my GOD.  This Postscript is about the end of MEAT, where the Meat Postscript showed us the end of CANDY!!!  :D
Let’s hear where this shit is all going!  I’ve been wondering what realm Dirk is actually heading towards to try and start fucking up.  Reading...
...Oh, okay.  I thought I glimpsed someone mentioning something about Rose “doing Dirk’s laundry”, and I thought I just missed some narrative comment on laundry made when Dirk took Rose out of the apartment on that final trip out to Jake’s for a spaceship?  But I guess this was the scene they were talking about.  Fuck you, Dirk.
One of her more reckless shipmates chipped a tooth trying one, despite repeated warnings to stay away from the stuff.
So Terezi IS there?  And probably received that final message from Vriska to think about.
It’s a stray ruby slipper. The other is about ten feet away, down the hall. No sign of their owner anywhere.
Yep, that’s definitely Terezi.
...Oh cool, Rose’s body isn’t quite dead?  She could be returned to it or a souped-up version of it if she’s ever brought to her senses outside Dirk’s corrosive influence.
A new planet is within sensor range. She studies the millions of statistics all pouring in at once.
They’re heading for a planet?  Somewhere else in Universe C?
It’s an M-Class planet. The right size, right age, right distance from the sun. There’s no advanced life yet. It’s exactly what they’ve been looking for all these years.
Shit, a NEW planet?  For all this shit to go down on?  Maybe I don’t need to see what happens next, that sounds potentially a little boring.  The future adventure this story entails COULD just be implied and never followed up on.
Once the new race has established
What race??? Human, hybrid?? It’s not TROLL, y’all would have brought Aradia if that was the case, right?  Or is this why there are tons of trolls in Universe C that Caliborn and Calliope’s parent trolls got to incinerate ages later, seeded across planets by these assholes?
The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?
Ahhh.  Okay.  So this may INDEED be something interesting, something worth seeing.  A new session, one where Dirk is the villain, Rosebot is enthralled, and old heroes are on their way to help see him thwarted.  Along with the mystery participants of a session we’ve yet to see.
Enough time goes by that she begins to wonder if he’s asleep. But no. It’s just the irritated silence of a man who knows he isn’t currently dressed well enough to attend to something important.
DIRK: Are my fucking pantaloons ready yet?
Yeah, fuck you and your anime pantaloons straight in the Yaois, Dirk Smartass.
Okay!
So that’s the end of the epilogue.  BOTH epilogues.  And... I like it.
I don’t know why.  I mean it was all excellent before, and my stomach’s still a BIT clenchy, but I like it now.  I misinterpreted things from the Meat ending, and now everything... everything makes a little more sense.  Some things seem resolved, others earned...
And... in a way I feel like I could actually oddly accept, even if there’s never anything that touches on this ever again...
It doesn’t seem “over”.  :)
57 notes · View notes
chimcharstar · 5 years
Note
I ASK EVERYTHING FROM ANGEL TO WOBBLY
COMING RIGHT UP
♡ cute asks ♡
angel; do you have a nickname?
G!
awe; how old are you?
21
baby; favorite color?
purple
bloop; spirit animal?
i know what youre trying to do bug
blossom; favorite book/movie/song?
my favourite movie today is always be my maybe. do yourself a favor and watch keanu reeves act his heart out
blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?
lucky, a little white tiger. i still have her.
breeze; most precious childhood memory?
maybe my mom making me tea or something. ow ow nostalgia
bright; mermaids or fairies?
fairies
bubbles; do you have a best friend?
YEAH
buttercup; showers or baths?
showers
butterfly; dream destination?
maybe ... the countryside, but one i havent been to before?
buttons; are you religious or spiritual?
yes, very. while feeling at war with it all the time cause of the gay angst. but lbr. i prayed for some coffee and i got some. i also pray when some real shit is happening. its just my nature. i have a very strong intuition when im not panicking. TOO BAD MY PARENTS DISHED OUT TONS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE I CANT REALLY HEAL FROM
calm; favorite scent?
this candle that has vanilla in it. i like the smell of vanilla because it smells sweet and im like. !!!! kindness!!!
candlelight; what did you dream about last night?
i dreamed my siblings were all bickering and blaming each other endlessly and saying cruel things, and i was trying to tell them to stop but my voice was hoarse and no one could hear me. the voice part makes more sense when you consider i lost my voice talking lots at the Job and ive been Way too worried about it and its also a Passing thing
charming; have you ever been in love?
yes... overrated
cozy; eye/hair color?
red hair green eyes
cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?
the afternoon when i can take a walk with some coffee and music or, faceplant on my bed and fall asleep on the spot and then wake up feeling very well napped
cupcake; favorite flower/plant?
i really like bonsais. or ... whatever type of bonsai i keep buying. they grow fast so you can notice their progress, they can survive bad mental health weeks, and you can shape them, they kind of grow with you
cute; what did you get on your last birthday?
i .... forget a lot. i forget these kinds of things. i hope it doesnt mean it didnt matter to me. i remember being really lonely on my last birthday and pretending not to be and then crying to my diary that no one is allowed to read
cutie pie; most precious item you own?
any bonsai, any jacket, thats my soul. or my phone lol
cutsie; what makes you happy?
people saying small nice things
daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.
just the other day when i was starting to play stardew valley again and i had some tea i think... 
daydream; how do you want to be remembered?
i want to have been Known as more than just shy and polite
daylight; favorite album of all time?
idk of all time, but say you will by fleetwood mac FUCKS, i will destroy my ears on public transit with that
dear; zodiac sign?
sagittarius
delightful; concerts or museums?
?????? N/A unfortunately
dimples; have you ever written a letter?
yes, i have written all sorts of letters, not snail mail but yknow... that is my jam. i have used it for good and evil
dobby; dream job?
writer of , books or screenplays or something
doll; how do you like to dress?
behold my array of gay jackets. hoods... gay layers... with some flowers. i have some shit with flowers on it. an old man complimented me on a train once. because im amazing
dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?
my roommates say theres a ghost dude downstairs but ive never seen him. not really actually.
dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?
no, and ive thought about a tattoo but im like... i cant imagine picking a decoration and then being satisfied with it for the rest of my life, and being so... open like that, i change my mind and worry too much...
drizzle; do you believe in aliens?
yes bitch. theres water on mars im sitting here patiently
euphoric; talk about someone you love.
the demigirl reading this
fairy; do you have a pet?
no :(
fluffy; ocean or mountain?
mountain... no ocean.. im feeling ocean
forever; where do you feel time stop?
i havent felt like that in a looong time. maybe this one place with streams, when its raining really heavily and everythings Gushing
froglet; are you a good plant owner?
i have kept... 5 bonsais alive for a while.
garden; how many languages do you know?
one. with some rocky french that makes me ACTUALLY want to learn french, and then frustratingly be on the brink of speaking french
gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?
i cant find the name right now but they make this pixel art and put sentences that are kinda so gentle and pining... i love it
giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?
homemade coffee in a messy kitchen with some sun coming in, youre kind of sleepy
glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?
yes!!! i wanna talk!!!!!
glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself
ok... i know how to be Respectful, im a strong person, im good with self-expression, i like my voice... AND IM CUTE
heart; silk or lace?
silk
honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?
coffee, so much sugar and a bit of scream.
hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?
BIRD WATCHING. because watching people can get awkward real fast, and birds dont give a fuck. birds are fat little boys jumpin around. they dont worry about their jobs. i respect that. 
hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?
Harmonious People Noises. i dont actually listen to sounds going to sleep when maybe i should. because of how i grew up im fine listening to music or people playing instruments falling asleep, even with the light on
jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?
that part of autumn where its colourful and not too cold not too hot, and sun everywhere
jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?
i do stuff like take walks and do a few errands and water plants... and just chill and enjoy not having pressing stuff to do. 
joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?
i am a serious giggler but i recently got a booming laugh, or it sounds like that to me
kinky; do you blush easily?
no. apparently not. but sometimes i feel my face heat up and then im really, really counting on it that that doesnt mean im blushing because its at the worst possible times to blush
kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?
SOULMATE... SOMEONE I DONT HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO...
kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?
i feel like i already answered this but ill pick a different time. evening is nice because im a night owl and i focus better and i can relax and do whatever
ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?
fleetwood mac and bLAST it on public transit
love; what is your favorite season and why?
autumn, because pretty, haloween
lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?
i dont know about macaron but that cookie dough ice cream is some good
magic; what are five flaws you have?
overthinking, clinging to comfort zone, procrastinating, isolating, either i dont stand up for myself or i do it too harshly
moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?
they all sound so lovely im feeling warm neutrals rn
munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?
emotional labour, similar energy level
paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?
I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE and there has to be food
pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?
doing THIS... all my free time... is basically by myself
precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?
you dont have to be useful to be valuable. you deserve love just because you exist, and even if you feel strongly that everything sucks, that could be your comfort zone talking. im having a mental health week
pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?
cook. id bake but then i eat stuff that doesnt make my stomach as happy
prince; how would you describe your handwriting?
oh its GORGEOUS. i have been practising my handwriting in my Diary for Months.
princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?
yes, piano mostly... ive been feeling Urges to play guitar lately that have surprised me
prinky; how do you relieve stress?
doing something restful/mentally restoring like taking a break or talking calming things to myself
pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?
LOVE THAT ZUCCHINI...F RY THAT BITCH WITH GARLIC AND ONION...
rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?
i have not read a book
roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?
realizing im trans
smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?
ill think of a nice one, moving away from my parents, theres been so much healing
shine; art or music?
MUSIC
shimmer; do animals tend to like you?
yes
smitten; do you collect anything?
bonsais?? 
smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?
one
snuggle; what is your favourite candy?
chocolate, any,
snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?
phone camera, ithas all these cool filters and things it can do, it says my plants are food
sparkle; do you wear jewelry?
occasionally. its mostly the black tourmaline bracelet
spooky; sunrise or sunset?
sunset, that is the beautifulest
sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?
with headphones. i just ... maybe this is a growing up thing but i cant imagine Taking Up Space playing my music out loud... then other people can judge my music choice... theyd Know things about me... 
starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?
save ums. i have this answer ready to go. that is because after five i stopped having a tv
soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.
my rooooooommmmmmmmmm my BED
soothe; digital or vinyl?
digital? what is this about?
squeezed; who do you miss right now?
my sister. she always says i never hang out but ... she doesnt seem interested in things i actually like... she tries and she cares but...
sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?
loyal, honest
sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?
practical, i just cant focus on aesthetic because then i get way too picky with eeeverything
sweet; do you find it easy to open up?
NO, unless i am on tumblr where there are no Laws. or it depends on how easy the person is to talk to.
sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?
yes, yes but NOT RIGHT NOW, i think kids are really Good, theyre simple and honest
thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?
i look up to the Bosses at my work, i mean they seem like they try really hard and do a good job and they have to lead everyone else too i respect that
toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?
the emotional intelligence dial. it is maybe too far. but im realizing that isnt so common.
tootsie; what kind of friend are you?
i hope, at least the kind i would want. probably very energetic, with negative or positive stuff
treasure; what was something that made you smile today?
another person at work called me by my last name. i find this funny because 1) it sounds funny to just shout 2) why are they all so fascinated with it .... yknow its because they wanted it to see if it was ramsay. did they seriously think. bunch of cooking nerds. is this their new power move.
velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?
niGHT OWL
whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?
shapeshifting
whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?
home, but i would enjoy going out with the right people i think. which has never happened.
whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?
no
wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?
tidy
wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?
yes, and no. my heart is set on being Out in the Nature though. i dont know if i can really really go back to where i grew up. theres so many complicated and painful feelings around it, and im not really welcome. 3
wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?
yes, i wish on all kinds of stuff all the time
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arvoze · 7 years
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man, this was sent like, nearly 2 weeks ago or w/e, and i completely ignored it bc i didnt have the energy/ability to care (you literally sent these when it was between 1 - 2am my time) but, it was recently brought to my attn that you put both me + lal in your byf (because i.... banned you from a server i guess, and that means lals at fault too?) so.
i guess it’s high time i answer this lmao. maybe you wont even see this. maybe youll vague abt me for the next few weeks and try and make me out to be a bad person, but i dont care lol. anyways this is under a cut bc its pointless drama i guess. ask 2 tag
additionally: this isnt rly meant to act as a callout post. but since u asked on anon (and im pretty sure we’re mutually blocked) i cant really talk about this privately. this is mostly just.. well. answering your question. ive written this little paragraph after i’ve written everything below, so like, idk dude, it happens sometimes, i get rly heated abt shit and then cool down after a while. so this is wild.
edit: i havent read this thru nor do i care about reading it through. are there a bunch of typos? probably. dont care though
i dont rly have the energy to pull up Everything esp because that lke.... requires going thru so many discord messages adn i really just. dont care enough to sift through everything
“but if u dont care why are you writing this” shut up u wanted answers didnt u lol
nyways heres just . some shit lmao
man firstly let’s deal w your post abt my server
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+ dont worry! ive got it archived in case u delete it bc who knows what ud do lol. nyways
lets just do some breakin apart on this:
i was lterally shaking at the time and having my OWN panic issues but i guess you dont rly take that into consideration lol?
this is one of the biggest exaggerations like ... you made it sound like the server was some big special place jdfghdkj theres literally 4 mods and 2 of them didnt even talk to you. the other 2 were me and lal
like half of the server isnt even fucken active on the server and the majority of the other half dont even care about unfollowing/blocking u. what a wild assumption. thts the funniest shit 2 me
please you literally sent me 3 asks when it was way too early in the morning 4 me expecting me to reply as if it was possible for me to give u all the reasons in like 10 minutes jesus christ
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ths is one of the ugliest posts ive ever seen + this was posted before you were banned frm the server. several ppl in the server have bpd + i was absolutely not willing to have smeone who says this sht abt their illnesses around (re: the whole “not actively in therapy” and shit. fuck off lol)
here’s some other stuff on my list that you might remember:
(kin stuff) being fully aware that my brother wasn’t - and still isn’t - okay with doubles with a specific character, and that you were specifically warned whilst he was offline, and you knew this was the case, yet decided that your best way of explaining something was..... fuck dude, whats the wording you used? “i’d say but some people here aren’t ok with doubles” or some shit which is! literally just as bad! and tht shit has fucked my bro up so severely tht he still fuckn..... thinks abt + the shit uve said In General (shrugging emoji)
heres a fucken wild ride for u: ur the reason he left th server anyways and why the second i banned u i was immediately happy because holy shit i can talk to my bro again bc i could invite him back! to a chat where he doesnt have to deal w someone who causes him constant panic attacks! wowee
lets not forget me expressing my extreme distaste of lying [person] + r.idged.og + ridg.epho.s but u completely ignoring that shit (+ wowie remember when u said lying was yr friend and that you didnt like me venting negatively abt them bc my nasty experiences r somehow less important than ?? tht shit??? lol anyways)
god the entire fucking drama w the lying shit . i cant believe i was on yr side for a while jdfghkj. that whole fiasco was so shitty. nyways thts nothing to do w me its just something that made so many ppl uncomfy
remember when you left the lying chat and then vented to us about shit but then rejoined the lying chat unbeknownst to us + caused shit again (surprise, i know about that)
you, generally, made several people uncomfortable (myself included), and as the owner of the server, i’d much rather kick one person from the server than have several people being uncomfortable. but if that’s an unreasonable thing to do then please, inform me, because that’s news to me.
whilst i dont support alex or alex’s partner in any way, shape or form (before u try and call me a fucken apologist/supporter/whatever lol), the blatant deliberate misgendering of alex’s partner on your byf was extremely shitty of you (which has since been fixed, but yikes).
(kin stuff) pretending to not be a double around lal, knowing he’s not comfortable with doubles (which, maybe you’re not! but given you’re kin w mc.ree + got that in your byf, and don’t have anything abt not follwing if ur x.phos in ur byf...... boyo)
god theres more but im not willing to dig up all the shit + also dont want to ask other ppl about their personal problems bc thats exposing them to a past/experience they probably want to forget about/never revisit
if u found this? congratulations. you got your answers.
if ur gonna vague abt me? go ahead. i dont really see what ive done wrong lmao.
also, re: why i didn’t tell you anything at all,
i was having a panic attack and almost throwing up
i kept trying to find reasons to keep you in the server, because i didn’t want problems to arise
i will literally never talk to ppl abt this kinda shit privately bc i dont want people to feel bad but 2 late
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