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phoenixkaptain · 1 year

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I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

#luke skywalker #star wars #anakin skywalker #sheev palpatine #darth sidious #original trilogy #the inane ramblings of a madman #listen i recognize that other people are important in the plot of sw #but at the same time #luke is the marble that gets things rolling #just in general #luke is the reason obi wan eventually actually kills maul #luke somehow gave yoda hope that another generation of jedi was an achievable goal #luke saved leia from being executed #luke is the sun of the series #it’s from him that literally everything grows #the story that began this universe #is one of a boy becoming an adult #and so without luke skywalker #none of the characters would exist #thus luke is the sun and we should all bask in the rays #but also in how funny it is #that this guy was more of a pain than obi wan kenobi #a feat previously thought impossible #long post

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shrenvents · 7 months

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My Bounty.

Warnings: Smut. Vaginal, unprotected sex, force play. Minors dni

Pairing: Clone Wars (single) Anakin Skywalker x Bounty Hunter reader

Summary: Anakin Skywalker goes above and beyond to make your life difficult, taking whatever he wants without explanation. So when reader confronts him, things don’t go exactly as planned.

Word count: 1.7k

…

The meddling nature of the Jedi was nothing compared to the nature of Anakin Skywalker. His darkness seeps its way into everything. His dark robe, gloves, boots, curls, eyes. He was the darkness enveloping me in a dizzying spiral of hate and desire. And he did it again. He stole my bounty just so he could give me that dark look.

His gaze observes the way my fists clench and how I chew my bottom lip. A wicked smirk dances on his face as clones praise and pat him on the back. He knew exactly what he was doing, watching me with an intensity, that had me shaking.

Finally, Anakin’s eyes move away from my figure, beckoned by his Master. He stalks towards Obi-Wan Kenobi and his mocking facade breaks instantly. I nearly scream at the sight. What was he hoping to achieve? Stealing my potential profits is certainly an interesting pastime, not one you would expect from “the chosen one.”

I huff out my frustration, deflating my tense shoulders. With his back now turned, I relax. Pivoting on my heel, I hurry away from the scene. On to the next hunt, before Skywalker gets the chance to take it from me.

Frankly, I have no clue how it started, his fixation with making me miserable. I almost feel paranoid, as if I’m making up the whole debacle. But from the way he looks at me, unspeaking, I know this truly is my reality. Anakin Skywalker hates me.

...

Now glaring at my reflection within the confines of my room, my restraint runs thin. I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna confront him because that sort of thing always goes well.

I head out towards the Jedi temple where Skywalker is most likely training his Padawan. While marching over, I contemplate the arguments I will bring up when face-to-face with him. How I will look into those comet-like eyes and not get distracted by his plump lips.

Moral of the story, I’m going to put an end to this one-sided game we play.

Once my vision connects with his broad back, his name escapes me without hesitation, “Anakin.” Saying it takes me by surprise, seeing as though I’ve never said it before. But clearly, it shocks him more, as when he turns around, his eyes are vaguely wider than I’ve ever seen them. “Y/n,” he says back flatly, face becoming neutral. Now I’m really taken aback by the way my name rolls off his tongue. Quickly, I collect myself and remember my well-thought-out points.

“What are you doing?” And out the window they go.

Anakin quirks his head quizzically. His silent reply to my rather stupid question ticks me off further. I’m practically vibrating with rage. “That was my mark you stole today Skywalker, you realize that?”

As if he’s finally understood my inarticulate speech, his lips part dumbly in “awe.” There he goes pushing my buttons, silently watching me unravel. “You think I wouldn’t notice?“ My face flushes red as I elaborate. “All the crooks you’ve miraculously caught are always the bounty that I’m after.”

There's a beat of silence where he inspects the way my chest heaves in exasperation. Then he speaks. “About time you did.” He states matter-of-factly. My jaw drops. “Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’ve been waiting for you to notice,” he remarks with a bored look.

“Notice what?” I spit out, scowling at him.

“Me,” he finishes plainly. Silence engulfs us again and I take note of how close we’ve become. “Why would you want that?” I question, utterly perplexed.

“What do you mean?” Anakin’s brows furrow.

“I mean you’ve never spoken to me before.”

“Neither have you.” He counters. My fists tremble.

“Why then? Why do you need me to notice you?” I demand.

“What other reason can there be?” He grumbles while giving me a once-over, and then something clicks. My face falls.

“Those looks you give me-”

“Say just how much I want you, more than words ever could.” He ends my sentence, his face remaining stoic. My heart hammers wildly. I suspect he’s now waiting for me to make a move, to say anything, maybe even reject him. Instead, I hastily circle my head around, surveilling for bystanders before frantically grasping at his robe and pushing him into a nearby room. His facade flatters once again and I see puzzlement consume his face.

After I awkwardly turn the door knob and take us into the empty room, I shove him away. Anakin staggers back, looking completely disoriented, almost regretful. “Y/n?” He trails off. My anger is radiating off my body, and I know he can feel it.

“You should’ve said something,” I assert, seething.

“I’m-“ Anakin is abruptly cut off by my lips smashing against his. With my arms reaching around his neck, I can feel his body freeze. After a short moment, I start to peel away, dejected by his stillness. But Anakin instantly chases after me, no longer shying away.

He gropes my waist, and one arm pulls around it, while the other slides up my spine to rest between my shoulder blades. A moan evades my throat and is met with a deep groan.

His palms carve out my figure and fist at my clothes. Whines rush out my mouth as his tongue mingles with mine. He vigorously makes work of me, and I have to pull away. Though his lips instinctively follow me, I’m out of reach, so he settles for my neck. Sucking fervently, one may fear the spots he’s making, but in this moment, truthfully, I couldn't care less.

“Ani,” I whimper, and he growls against my nape in response. “Fuck, I need you,” I whisper. I feel his movements lurch and he mumbles something, but I can't seem to hear it over my haggard breathing.

He tears himself away from my neck, still keeping my body pressed against his. He then shifts his gaze around the room. “There’s no furniture here, I’ll just have to fuck you standing.” An audible gasp flees my mouth as Anakin slings my body around his torso, legs straddling his hips. His hands clench around my thighs as he hoists me up, securing me in place.

Fortunately, the short gown I threw on this morning made it easy for Anakin's crotch to caress my core through his pants. I push down on him and he groans at our proximity. "I was wondering when you would snap," Anakin mutters into my ear as his grip tightens. I whimper. "Screw you."

"Be patient. You will." He soothes. Digging my front teeth into my bottom lip, I drop my forehead to his shoulder as our lower halves grind against one another.

The sounds of our moans crowd the room and I can't take it anymore. "Kriff patience, I'm done waiting, General," I command in the most sensual voice I can muster. Evidently, my attempt to provoke him works because one of his hands leaves my thigh and clutches my hair in a fist, tugging my head back so his lips can crash into mine again. His other hand shifts down to his slacks. His breath hitches when he releases his cock, and so does mine when it springs up to my clothed clit. "Oh maker," I just about scream, head falling back.

His hands make quick work moving my underwear aside, and his member brushes against my folds. I shudder and screw my eyelids shut. I feel Anakin's gaze fixate on me. "Look at me." Hearing his order, I immediately obey.

Eyes fluttering open, I look into his lust-filled ones. Getting flustered by their heat, I squirm. "Y/n." He hushes, breath blowing across my face. Glancing at his features briefly, I nod, communicating what we both desperately need.

We both hold our breaths as he brings me down on his length in a slow glide. His cock pierces my entrance, and I clamp down on my incoming yelp. He was big. I hear him distractedly repeat my name, face buried in my collar. My eyes look to the ceiling in prayer.

His movements dissipate midway, and I feel his stomach clench. "You take me so well." He mumbles almost to himself. All I can do is bob my head in response. In this short pause, the pain disperses and all I feel is him - pleasure, darkness. His arms snake around my waist while mine harden around his nape.

Suddenly, he plunges into me, filling me up completely. My cry echoes throughout the room and I instantly sink my teeth into the cartilage of his ear. The growl that leaves him is next to primal. His rhythmic pounding begins to pick up speed, and I can barely keep up with each stroke. "Kiss me," he stammers out. Reeling back, I lock eyes with him before diving my tongue into his mouth.

His hips snap into my own, over and over. His stomach clenches once more and he pants into my mouth, "I'm close." Though I feel incredible, I'm not quite close to my limit, and he senses it.

One of his palms unravels from my body, steadily hovering over my center. Thinking he's going to touch me, I arch my back away from his embrace to allow space for his digits to meet my slit. But, as I wait, an unexpected pressure attacks my core. I gasp away from his lips and I peer down, leaning my forehead on his.

His hand isn't physically touching me, yet I feel as though I'm close to climaxing. Bewildered, I shoot my eyes from his floating hand to his lewd expression. His grin is strangely smug as he watches me. Then it registers: he's using the force to make me cum. Completely stunned, I simply bore my eyes into him, mouth agape.

Our orgasms come at once and wash over us at his charge. He puffs out a loud sigh of relief and continues to hold me, pumping slower than before, til the action ceases.

"Maker," I huff, "Next time, just use your words, and I'm yours." A smile forms on his face. He sheepishly nods, "Next time."

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comicaurora · 9 months

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top three changes to the star wars franchise?

Like, top three things I would change if I was in charge of the franchise top to bottom?

This is Big Cheating calling it "one change", but scrap the prequels. The original trilogy already implied an incredibly simple by-the-numbers dark fantasy origin story for Obi-Wan and Anakin and if we strip away the space veneer we can easily see that Anakin's original backstory was implied to be "prodigy warrior-wizard is tempted by dark magic (and an established evil sorcerer-emperor who has clearly been in power for more than a scant 18 years by the time of the original trilogy) which slowly corrupts and twists him into a monster who eventually has a fight with obi-wan that he loses, also he has a relationship with a woman who survives to raise Leia for at least a few years". Those are the only points you need to hit, and you could tell a very compelling simple-meal-well-made sword and sorcery adventure with a guaranteed tragic ending. The original prequels fail at holding to the ONLY points of canon they needed to hit - the innately corruptive power of the dark side SLOWLY leading to Anakin's downfall, the empire being an existing threat for a long time and the jedi correspondingly being an ANCIENT religion rather than being less ancient than 9/11, and Padme being alive enough for Leia to remember her a little bit. Close your eyes, clear your mind, let the tropes flow through you - a By-The-Numbers Story will come to you and you will see the completely inoffensive prequel tragedy we could've had. Also, never show Yoda, preserve the fun twist in the original movies.

Easy change for this one. Finn's a force-user with a plot about inspiring a stormtrooper rebellion, another plot that literally writes itself, also let the sequel trio actually all hang out for more than five fuckin minutes because the only thing that ever made Star Wars work was the raw charisma of the actors having a good time and the chemistry was really solid for the only time in the final movie they were allowed to share screentime.

And while we're gutting the sequels, how about letting the hero's victories actually fucking matter. Luke gets to actually reinvigorate the jedi way and doesn't have all his victories ripped away in the name of sequel bait, and can serve as an extremely powerful but very busy Jedi Ex Machina who turns up in the darkest hour to save the day, Mandalorian-s1-finale style. The Empire doesn't just get magically replaced with Empire 2, Now With Less Charisma, let the threat be something actually new or a natural consequence of a newly liberated galaxy in sudden turmoil - feudal tyrants ruling over planetary fiefdoms squabbling to fill the Emperor's power-vacuum, more sith lords coming out of the woodwork now that their greatest rival is gone. Leia and the other rebel leaders struggling to reinstate some semblance of democracy in a scarred and shattered galaxy too accustomed to the crushing totalitarianism of the empire. How goddamn unoriginal to start a sequel by undoing every happy ending from the original series for retreaded drama, as if the universe could only ever hold three problems in it.

#asks #not aurora

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toska-writes · 1 year

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helloo! i love your writing so much and i wonder would you like to write commander cody with padawan reader, it's after order 66. and as we know in bad batch s2 he's gone to AWOL right? so what if he go to other planets anywhere and meet reader again (let's pretend he already removed his chip lol) imagine how he feels guilt meeting his little padawan after trying to kill her and her master (obi-wan) and how the reader react meeting him again especially looking at her cody sun armor become gray like shadow unlike him.

(sorry if my english kinda messed up, and have a great day!! <3)

Wow, just wow

“Sunshine”

Summary: after order 66 Cody jumps at only the chance to get at least one person from his old life back- no matter the cost

Paring: Cody x GN padawan Reader (it’s platonic!)

Warning: hurt/comfort nightmares ptsd let me know if I missed anything

Word count: 1822

Notes: I’m very proud of this one and I hope you enjoy! It’s also not proofread because I need some sleep

Cody’s head hurt again.

But it wasn’t like last time, he was in control now and always will be.

“How are you feeling Kotes?” Rex came around the tables and laid a hand on Cody’s shoulder.

To be honest Cody wasn’t sure what he was feeling, if anything. Nausea sat in the pit of his stomach but he feared that it wasn’t just from the procedure he went through.

A hand reached up to the side of his head, the fresh bandage felt course under his hand- the all to familiar feeling of before.

“I’m fine.” Cody’s voice was raspy and burned his throat- Rex picked up on this and quickly went to get him a drink of water.

There he sat alone.

He was alone for a while now, but nothing like this. If you went back a few week you would see the small spark of hope illuminating in his eyes.

Cody wasn’t sure of a lot of things since the war ended but maybe it was the illusion of hope that he and Crosshair could escape together.

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

Then Cody went AWOL. Finally it seemed that he got his mind right- the headaches and the dreams that plagued him however said otherwise.

Rex walked back in. Cody’s eyes were clouded in thought as he sat unmoving on the table.

Placing a ginger hand on his knee Rex has never seen is brother in such a state. But the way he felt in this moment- finally getting his free will totally returned to him was something he would never forget.

“Hey Kotes,” Rex helped him to his feet and lend him out into the halls. “We found something you might need to take a look at.”

Cody almost instantly snapped back to attention as the pair of brothers made their way back to the ship they arrived on.

“A few radars picked up on some chatter from the bounty hunters guild.” Rex returned to the Captain Cody knows and loves, things were going back to how they use to be.

“Why would your crew have any interest in the guilds?” Cody questioned, a little slow to connect the dots. “Your fighting an empire here.”

Rex stared at him for a moment, his try at a sarcastic tone clearly flew over Rex’s head.

It was one of the only times Cody has ever seen Rex so unsure about what he was about to say. “We picked up Y/N’s location. The bounty for Jedi are unbelievably high and I’m worried if one of us doesn’t get there in time it might go sour.”

Cody froze in his seat, the end of Rex’s sentence seemed to go blurry. The moment replayed every hour of the day, awake or asleep. He memorized the moment when he watched Obi-wan fall from that terrible hight.

He remembered the look you gave him as he turned to you, your lightsaber coming up in your shaky hands staring at him.

“Cody what’s going on?”

“I- they made it?” Cody looked at Rex, the dark thought that he was playing a terrible joke on him.

Rex only nodded his confirmation. Waiting for Cody to see just want he would do.

You wouldn’t want to see him. Cody didn’t even want to see himself. The terrors he’s created would never wash off no matter how hard he scrubbed.

The armor that surrounded him all his life was striped away, just like everything he has ever known. His sunshine was stripped away as well.

Taking a shaky breath in Cody whispered. “Take me to them.”

•••

Your head hurt again.

It was just like the last time, the moment you realized nobody was on your side anymore.

The purge left you stranded by yourself, unsure of what to do you fled as far as you could.

The outer rim served its purpose for now but the empire was expanding, and the hunters became bolder with their search.

Against your better judgment you tried to reach Ahsoka, Hunter even but it was no use.

Maybe now you were by yourself. Cutoff.

You sat up straight in your makeshift bed. The sheets bawled into your fist as your chest heaved and sweet ran down your back.

You weren’t safe even in your own mind.

You watched him fall. The scream you let out as you lost him over the edge. Everyone around you went off.

Cody. Your Cody turned to you next- all around you heard the all too familiar sound of blasters raising. Cody aimed for you as you brought your weapon up, the thought of hurting any of them never crossed your mind before.

“Cody.” You had tried. “Cody what’s going on?”

The blaster that was shot at you was the moment you woke this time. Other times you weren’t as lucky to be spared with the memory.

The sky was masked with the darkness of the night, your clock told you at you barely sleep 2 hours since you tried to go to sleep.

You gathered yourself as practically dragged yourself to the only window in your “home”

This wasn’t home. Nothing would come close to what the word use to mean to you, but it was soemthing keeping you mildly safe.

The sky above never really changed, it was the only constant you found after the end of the war. The only thing you could depend on that would never harm you.

Your head buzzed again, for a split second you turned to your hidden saber, the weapon you couldn’t pick up since you arrived on this rock. The crystal within buzzed constantly in your ear, begging to be picked up once again.

It use to be a background noise that grounded you, but things have changed.

You stared into the darkness for a moment, the lightsaber wasn’t it. Turning your attention back to the outside world the familiar feeling felt crooked in your chest.

It wasn’t really right, but it was something you recognized none the less.

A cloak that you threw around yourself countless times before made its way to your shoulders- masking you from others and you left closing your door silently behind you.

For a moment you thought maybe, just maybe it was your master heat to tell you everything would be ok, to help you just as he had countless times before.

But you couldn’t think like that, like you use too. Hope burned within you as you followed the force you tried desperately to get rid of.

•••

Cody tried the comm channel he used countless times before, he could practically put it in with his eyes closed.

But of course no answer.

He did try once before- the first night he ran from the empire, alone in the back of a transport ship he tried to reach the Jedi he grew fond of.

It was one of the only instants the commanders eyes watered slightly and his nose ran.

Rex was waiting near by with the ship as he walked the streets of this planet alone. His armor was covered with a poncho Rex lent him and frankly it was the best he could do.

He hoped that you weren’t here, the disgusting streets and inhabitants made him sick. But what if this was better than see him again?

Cody shook that last thought. His hand shook slightly at his side which was a nervous habit he picked up a long time ago.

His eyes scanned the dark scenery for any sign that you might have been here, a sign Cody hoped nobody else could pick up on.

On instinct he turned down an alley to his left, this was definitely not the place to be at this time.

His eyes squinted trying to pin point a figure towards the end. This was the only time he wished for his helmet that didn’t seem his own.

Something ate at the inside of him again. His breath was sparse wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. If his mind was no longer his own.

The figure took a few steps from the shadows that engulfed them. The moon illuminated someone that haunted every minute of his life.

You held a blaster out in front of you, but this time you didn’t shake.

Cody didn’t dare take another step. His eyes were firmly planted on the ground as he kneeled down dropping his blaster in front of him.

“Cody?”

He could only nod, afraid that his voice would highlight just how vulnerable he felt in this very moment.

But he had to say something, he couldn’t leave you again.

“I’m- I’m so sorry kid.” His voice broke through his words. This uncertain feeling engulfed him like a flame showing no mercy. “Sorry, I’m sorry.”

You stared at him for a moment. Taking in the sight- clearly things were different. The sunshine was stripped from him. His eyes, though they tried to avoid you, seemed hollow.

You thought of two things in this moment.

You wanted to run, run from someone that could hurt you all over again, someone that you weren’t even sure you could trust.

You could try to hang onto one of the only things that you so desperately needed. You needed someone.

The blaster clanked to the ground as you walked to Cody. Your guard was up but the tears betrayed what you were really hoping for.

You hoped that Cody was himself again.

Cody looked up, your familiar eyes caught his own. The tears that he dried so many times fell across your cheeks, and he only wished to dry them one more time.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say, his mind left him and he could only mutter the only words that went through his head, as if they could make everything better.

You kneeled down with him. For a second Cody thought this might be a dream of his own and this was the moment that he would loose you once again.

But you stayed.

Quickly you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him flushed against you.

Cody wasted no time crushing you into him. You cling to him as he continued to whisper small apologies into your hair.

Through the muffled sniffles you voiced. “I liked your other armor kot’ika.”

For the first time in a while Cody found himself giving an actual laugh.

He nodded as he griped you even tighter as if he was afraid that if he let go you would leave.

“I think I could use some help painting it again.” He spoke a little louder. The emotions still sounded in his voice.

It was your turn to nod into his chest. For the first time in a while You found yourself crying tears of relief that finally someone was here for you again.

This time you weren’t going to let him go again.

_____________________________________

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97

#star wars clone wars #clone wars #star wars #the clone boys #the clone wars #my writing #toska-writes #clone boys #captain rex #Cody tbb #star wars tbb #commander cody #cody tcw #commander cody x reader #jedi padawan #padawan reader #reader insert

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lieutenant-teach · 2 months

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Meeting Cyare’s father (or Anakin Skywalker doesn’t like his new son-in-law very much)

(Anakin doesn’t go Dark, everyone lives, everyone’s happy. No Sequels, rehashed Heir to the Empire instead of the OT. DinLuke, minor Anidala, CodyWan, HanLeia)

Din was really relieved about his helmet on, but then he remembered that the Jedi can feel other people’s emotions. No luck, then.

His cyare’s father’s eyes were trying to burn a hole in his head.

– Let me get it straight, Luke. A Mandalorian bounty hunter. – The voice could cut the stone better than a lightsaber.

– Mum likes him, – Luke was smiling, but Din saw him tensing for a fight. A cybernetic hand squeezed his.

– I didn’t raise my only children to give them away to some criminals, - Skywalker-senior stood up from the couch and started walking back and forth. – First I have to agree to allow my princess marry some smuggler…

– Han did help us to stop Thrawn.

– … and then my son wants to partner a bounty hunter, - Luke’s father wasn’t listening to him, anger coming off him like waves – Din was certain he wasn’t Force-sensitive, but one may not be to feel the Dark Side emanating from Anakin Skywalker at that moment.

Din remembered Luke’s words before ‘meeting with father’s half of the family’: ‘My Dad will become angry, I’m sure – he didn’t react to Han well, too – but don’t worry, he’ll cool down’. The warning rang in his ears when he saw Skywalker-senior for the first time: tall, with a rich mane of greying curls, but still very handsome former Jedi assessed him and made up him mind immediately. ‘Not worthy’. Now they were sitting on the softest couch Din’s ass had ever been on, in the richest living room Din’s eyes ever seen, and ‘officially’ letting Din into a very branchy Skywalker family tree. Or, trying.

– Dad, I’m almost thirty, I can decide for myself. And Din’s a hero of his own – he kept Grogu save and sound, stopped Moff Gideon, and also saved the town of Mos Pelgo from the krayt dragon…

– But a bounty hunter! – Skywalker-senior cried exasperatedly. – And, to add to it, a Mandalorian! It is all your fault, Obi-Wan! – he suddenly turned to Luke’s uncle, quietly watching all this until this moment.

– Wait, why? – the man was older than Luke’s father, gray hair and beard and mischievous twinkle in the eyes. So far he hadn’t said anything, but Luke had said his uncle would be supportive. Now it was time to find out. – My fault Luke fell in love?

– With a Mando! – Skywalker raised his voice. – Who in this family has a thing for Mandos?

– Do not speak about Satine like this, – Obi-Wan’s voice became steely, – and anyway, Cody is not a Mandalorian.

– He is a clone of a Mandalorian!

Din started to lose the thread of the conversation. He even wished he had a Jedi ability to speak telepathically and could ask Luke what the kark was going on. He shifted his head, trying not to be very obvious in his confusion, Luke caught his gaze and shrugged.

– Do you really think I taught Luke… - Luke’s uncle sighed. – We have been here before, Anakin. Luke is an adult, he can think for himself. If he brought young Din Djarin here, then he is certain in him and his own feelings. Did your fits of reality rejection change Leia’s mind?

Luke’s father breathed in and out heavily, clearly holding himself from harsher words, but reluctantly accepting the truth.

– Maybe, you should just talk to Din? – Luke’s uncle didn’t look happy, but so wasn’t Din hearing this suggestion.

‘Let me talk, – Din remembered Luke’s words. – When Dad started being… um… not very nice to Han – critical of sorts – Han started talking back. It escalated, some chairs were flying around, Dad and Leia exchanging angry remarks – Dad said she deserved better, Leia insisted she loved Han – and Han himself wasn’t making everything easier. It took two professional negotiators – Mum and Uncle Obi-Wan – to calm them down. Still, Leia and Han are happily married and have a son. So it’s just an unpleasant procedure you have to endure’.

– Maybe, he would take the helmet off for starters? – Poison in Skywalker’s voice could kill a bantha. No, a herd of banthas.

– I cannot, - Din was glad his voice didn’t tremble. He wasn’t afraid of the man, but watching a family drama, and, worse, being the reason of it didn’t feel well. He didn’t want to cause a rift in Luke’s relationship with his father. – My Creed prohibits me to.

– Veery convenient, - Skywalker smiled a tight and unpleasant smile, ignoring pleading and exasperated eyes of his son. – We’re a family now, you don’t show your face even to your family? Luke, have you seen his face?

– Dad, now it’s rude. Of course, I did. – It was obvious Luke was holding well, but his patience wasn’t infinite, too. – It’s only for immediate members.

Technically, after realizing the existence of different Mandalorian Ways, Din wasn’t sure he couldn’t do that. After all, taking off helmets didn’t make Bo-Katan Kryze or Sabine Wren less Mandalorians. But even if he would – not for this man.

The door slid open, a man quietly entered the room and stood behind Luke’s uncle’s armchair, resting his elbows on the chair back. Could he be Boba Fett’s relative? Because he was a carbon copy of Din’s friend, albeit much older. An intricate scar was winding its way from his temple down around his left eye.

– I am being quite nice! – Skywalker protested, dragging all attention to himself. – I can’t believe Padmé actually said ‘I like this guy, let’s take him in’.

– You know, I agree with you, - the probably-Boba’s-relative suddenly said. Luke’s uncle turned to him with puzzled expression. Luke looked disappointed. – The kids take after their mother in their bad choice of life partners.

Skywalker seemed about to blow up. He grabbed something from his belt that appeared to be a black respiratory mask and pressed it to his nose and mouth. The mechanical labored breathing sounds filled the room, Skywalker was drilling the man with burning eyes.

– Now, Cody, that was harsh, - frankly, to Din’s mind, Luke’s uncle didn’t look apologetic a lot. Luke sighed, his shoulders relaxed.

– I thought you were serious! – he even laughed a little, then gather himself again. – Dad, you do realize your approval or disapproval won’t change anything?

– Unfortunately, - Skywalker’s voice also sounded mechanical. – I believe no one in the galaxy or farther is worthy of my children. – He signed. – I guess I have to work with what we have here. – He shot a look at Cody, who smiled in return, and this smile was ‘I know you know I’m right, and I unashamedly love it’.

– Very well, - Obi-Wan clapped his hands. – Now as everything is settled, - Din clearly heard ‘Anakin is settled’, - we can share some stories and know each other better, right, Din?

Luke looked at Din with shining eyes. Din signed quietly. This look was worth all these awkward minutes.

#star wars #dinluke #din djarin #anakin skywalker #luke skywalker #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #codywan #fanfiction #my fic #fanfic

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gffa · 5 months

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Have you watched the First Okiro's recent Star Wars video? He made a really interesting case about how TLJ Luke was a form of character assassination. When I saw the ask you answered about how Luke treasured Yoda and read the last paragraph, I thought maybe you'd agree.

https://youtu.be/r0I86ii2N_8?si=-oHY6dQsFBsSAfPv

Hi! Honestly, I pretty much refuse to watch any Star Wars video essays anymore because so many of them are anti-Jedi and I don't think it's fruitful for any of us for me to put myself through that, they don't gain anything, I don't gain anything, etc. So I have no idea what the case being presented in the video is, I'm only going on "character assassination" in TLJ and how I actually disagree. I mean, I think it was poorly executed in some ways, but that the basic concepts of it are ones I actually think are the best parts of the movie. My problems with TLJ's Luke story is that I think the extremity of it was too much, that him being on the island for six years without contact with anyone was too long for how I see Luke, as well as I think the structure of having Han die and not showing that deleted scene of Luke mourning his death, of having Luke interacting with Rey but making it all about Ben, none of that worked for me. But what does work for me is that the idea of overcoming pain and suffering is a one-and-done deal is just not how Star Wars or the Force works. Luke very nearly fell to the dark side in Return of the Jedi, that wasn't just put there for the aesthetics, that was something he was genuinely teetering on the edge of, he was raining hell down on Vader when slicing away at his arm, Sidious genuinely felt the anger and rage roiling inside Luke, he had to struggle to turn away from it and embrace what it meant to be a Jedi.

That's not a one time struggle--that's something characters face their entire lives. And if you include the Disney comics (which are really good imo), Luke struggles with loss and pain and anger after the defeat on Bespin, he has to struggle through not falling to the dark side again. And, hell, even MARK HAMILL says that Luke's fall down the reactor shaft on Bespin was akin to him basically trying to commit suicide because he was so devastated. So I think it's fair that Luke could struggle with that again later in his life, I think it's fair that after pouring everything of himself into building up the Jedi again, to have it torn down by someone he loved, someone that he may have bordered on attachment to (as Star Wars and the Jedi define it--love and attachment are not the same thing, attachment is the desire to hold onto something/someone so tightly because you can't live without it and thus you can't see it clearly, which I think I could believe of Luke, that he was so blinded by his desire for what he wanted for Ben that he couldn't be objective about him, just like he struggled with loving his sister so much that rage boiled inside of him when Palpatine threatened her and Luke's friends on the second Death Star), that he retreated because this felt so massive and he felt like he was the only one who could build this school and that he pulled these kids into this life. Like, it's fair that Obi-Wan struggled with Anakin's betrayal and cut himself off from using the Force on Tatooine, so I think it's fair that Luke struggled with Ben's betrayal and cut himself off from using the Force on Ahch-To--they both had to process that grief and it's not always a perfect path when it's someone you love that dearly and were so incredibly close to. Ultimately, the entire speech Luke gives is one that is DESIGNED to be knocked down, he is literally standing in front of the First Order and facing them down with his laser sword at the end of the movie, Rian Johnson literally says that it was Luke's personal failure, not the failure of the Jedi religion, and Luke finds his feet again. And that's my guy!!! The guy who makes mistakes, but is such a core of goodness and compassion and care for others that he eventually gets over these massive hurdles placed in front of him, and so that part of Luke's story worked for me. I'm just not wild about the finer details of how it was actually executed, even if I think it's fair to point out that Rian Johnson was handed a pre-existing situation that he then had to reverse engineer a backstory for with an extremely limited time to do it, because apparently THEY DIDN'T PLAN OUT THE TRILOGY AHEAD OF TIME for fucks sake.

#lumi.txt #star wars #luke skywalker #meta

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inquisitor-apologist · 2 months

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hi I would personally LOVE to read thousands of essays on your thoughts about the inquisitors, so if you feel comfy posting them just know they will be received with gratitude :)

Alright, I’ve got a 4-hour car ride, so nothing but time.

The first thing that I’d say is absolutely essential to my understanding of/obsession with the Inquisitorius is that they’re expendable. Both in-text and out-of-text, they’re disposable and that is absolutely essential to their whole existence.

On the Doylist level, the Rebels team created them/reincorporated them to canon to be the replaceable early series antagonists. They're there to build the characters up to face the real threats of Maul’s temptation to the dark and Thrawn’s existential threat to the Rebel cause. The rest of the Star Wars media that shows them only reinforces this.

In Kenobi, they're there in the background, to set up Reva (who is, in the show, functionally not an Inquisitor) and Vader, in J:FO they're scary bad guys meant to be defeated and killed for Cal's growth (though, notably, J:FO is one of the only pieces of Inquisitor media that views them as victims worthy of empathy), and, while I haven't read (all of) the Vader comics, they're in the Vader comics, not in their own stories.

On the Watsonian level, they’re a sort of… buffer between the true power of the Sith and the public. They’re the one attacking the regular Force-sensitives and taking babies (someone much more qualified than me could probably talk a LOT about the very interesting ways the Jedi, Empire, and Inquisition (like, come on) parallel and draw from Judaism and historical antisemitism) and they’re the ones the Rebellion direct their anger about the Jedi Purge at. It’s easy for the two masterminds and main perpetrators to hide behind the atrocities of a dozen faceless subordinates.

This is really clearly shown in Kenobi, where the Inquisitors are dismissed as “Jedi who turned to the dark side. Now, they hunt their own kind”. They’re not seen as victims who’ve been forced into self-destructive monsters, but as the perpetrators of their own genocide, personas that they readily claim. I mean, Reva is literally a survivor of the Temple Massacre who was turned into one of the Inquisitors that Obi-Wan dismisses as traitors. They’re very convenient, effective, scapegoats.

That’s honestly a very underrated part of Palpatine’s genius; one of his most important traits is his ability to manipulate the media. By creating the Inquisitors and delegating most of the work of completing the Purge to them, he distances both himself and Vader from any public outcry against the actions of the Inquisitorius (and, to some extent, their own actions), allowing Vader to be seen as a more legitimate military officer and extension of the Emperor’s will, which is itself legitimized by that distance.

The lines between the Emperor, Vader, and the Inquisitors are also very important. There's a very clear distinction between the Sith and the Inquisitors in of autonomy, which is the second thing that defines my view of the Inquisitors. The Inquisitors are largely pawns for Palpatine’s ends, manipulated and indoctrinated kids, and as such there’s kind of a spectrum of the Empire’s Force-sensitive hierarchy between Sidious, Vader, and the Inquisitors.

Sidious is the first extreme, where he chose everything; he Fell on purpose, became a Sith on purpose, consolidated power and killed the Jedi on purpose, became Emperor on purpose. And then there’s Vader, who very much chose to Fall, kill the Jedi, and become a Sith, but he was manipulated and pushed to it by Sidious. He chose, but Sidious kind of underlies all those choices, driving him to them. Lastly, the Inquisitors chose nothing; they were hunted and persecuted by Vader and the Sith, then tortured and indoctrinated to serve Sidious, brainwashed into continuing to serve. It’s really a gradient of autonomy, if you think about it; Sidious is the only Dark Sider afforded full choice, both by the narrative and in-universe.

The Inquisitors are, fundamentally, kids ripped from their family and people, tortured and indoctrinated into self-loathing and anger. They don’t get names; they’re told they were born wrong and tortured until they believe it, then pressed into service, because, while they might have been born wrong, they were also born useful.

This is why I kind of hate the idea of Inquisitors who choose to join, and one of the reasons I’m not particularly inclined to read the new Inquisitor book (also it apparently implies that the tortured inquisitors were actually just. Force-brainwashed??). One of the most interesting and most fundamental things about them is that they are victims of horrific genocide coerced into becoming their own oppressors. If you take that away, you make them so much less interesting—they turn into stock evil traitors.

The protagonist of the new Inquisitor book is, from what I’ve gathered, a jerk who was already half-fallen in the Clone Wars and who seized the chance to gain more power with the Empire. That’s just diet Vader, and I, personally, have seen too much of both real Vader and diet vaders, so I’m not interested.

So, uh, @stellanslashgeode, you asked me for my thoughts on Iskat Akaris, here they are. Sorry it’s probably not what you wanted.

So, like, there’s my opinion on the fandom-and-canon obsession with Inquisitors who chose the Empire. We literally haven’t seen pretty much anything about how the normal inquisitors join, can we focus on the actually interesting stuff? The Inquisitors' lack of autonomy, their lack of choice, is a huge part of what fascinates me so much about them, because it's very unique. Let's not take that away.

Another piece of why I think the Inquisitors are so interesting is how their abuse at the hands of the Empire shapes them, though this part has more speculation than the stuff above due to lack of clear information.

In canon, we know that inquisitors go through fucking hellish initiation criteria (“Isolation! Torture! Mutilation!”), stuff that absolutely breaks them until they no longer believe that the Empire can be stopped at all (“You can’t stop the Empire!” “She said something about becoming an Inquisitor… like it’s inevitable”). We also know that, however it happens, it's very fast and effective. The Vader Comics are set just months after Order 66, and there's already at least ten fully initiated Inquisitors.

Unfortunately, we never directly see the exact initiation protocols the Inquisitors are subject to, but we do get quick glimpses, like in the flashbacks from J:FO, and with Reva in Kenobi. Right now, I want to look at what those flashbacks from J:FO, together with the dialogue above, tells us about what exactly happens to Inquisitors.

In the flashback, we see Trilla, strapped to the torture chair that Cere's in later in the flashback, being subjected to Star Wars' favorite kind of torture, weird electricity chairs. I'm going to call them shockseats, just to distinguish them from real-life electric chairs. We transition from the torture to some time later, when Second Sister has been fully turned, wearing the Inquisitor uniform and everything.

That, annoyingly enough, is all we get to work with. It's basically the "Being tortured makes you evil" trope, but Ninth Sister's dialogue gives it some nuance. She says "Isolation! Torture! Mutilation!", and, well, we just saw the torture part, and I'm guessing the mutilation is the whole thing in the comics where Vader teaches the Inquisitors by cutting their limbs off, so that leaves isolation, which I think is probably a very significant part of the process.

Based on the vault vision and the Fortress Inquisitorius section in J:FO, most of the Fortress's prison has a kind-of panopticon feel, with see-through energy shields, guards everywhere, and several prisoners in one cell, so I'm guessing there are probably some deeper isolation cells. The isolation is probably where most of the indoctrination happens, because we never hear anyone saying anything during the torture scenes.

This is mostly headcanon from the scraps we get, but I'd say initiation probably goes something like this: 1. a survivor is captured 2. They're taken to Nur, and tortured on the way there (per Rebels) 3 The timeline here is annoyingly unclear but I think the ‘isolation’/indoctrination comes before the rest? 4. They're tortured in an attempt to get them to turn to the Dark Side 5. They're somehow fully initiated into the Inquisitorius with their full title and uniform 6. They're trained ('mutilation') 7. They're a full Inquisitor

obv I have headcanons (ie a full-on not-really canon-compliant system that I think works better than the disjointed 'being tortured makes you evil' bits we have now, but I'm trying to stay as canon-compliant here as possible) but I think this is about what we get in canon, and it’s kind of necessary to have a vague idea about what probably happens in order to understand them, and dang is this very important to basically their entire self-concepts.

In Kenobi, Third Sister is hated by all the others, probably for not going through what they did. We see throughout the show that she’s just as good, or better, than most of them, but because she wasn’t tortured (or, at least, not to the same extent), the rest despise her. She does the exact same things we've consistently seen all the other Inquisitor's do, but she's punished and derided for it. In J:FO, Second Sister goes out and threatens civilians in order to draw Cal out, and everyone’s fine with it, but when Reva does it, everyone hates her.

There’s no rational reason; she does exactly what they do , what she’s been taught to do, but she’s treated differently. The only reason for this, in-universe, is that she’s the only Inquisitor we know of that wasn’t brought in for being a Jedi—she explicitly hides that she was one. The rest of the Inquisitors clearly do hate each other, but it’s on a different level with her, because they do not see her as one of them. She wasn’t a Jedi, and thus she didn’t go through the same things they did. There seems to be a sort-of trauma-induced bond between the other Inquisitors. They hate each other, but they all see each other as Inquisitors, largely the same as them. They don’t share that with Reva because whatever happened to them didn’t happen to her, to the same extent.

Connecting to my earlier point about Inquisitors who chose to join, I think that that's WAY more interesting than a bunch of jerk coworkers who just decided to be evil.

These people were family in the Jedi, and then their whole family died as they watched and heard and felt it in their brains, and they were chased and hunted and tortured until they broke and brought back together, warped and different and told to call each other siblings—and at this point, aren’t they? They were raised together in the bowels of Nur, subjected to the same horror and misery; they’ve been through everything together, in the worst way possible, constantly competing and fighting and killing for anything they can get. Who else could understand them in any meaningful way?

I'm getting off-topic, but the physical abuse and torture of the Inquisitors seems fundamental to their identity, even if we don't know exactly what it entailed.

So, with the isolation and indoctrination, I think it's fair to say that there's probably quite a lot of mental abuse there. The Dark Side, in itself, is pretty horrible mental health-wise (the Jedi actively use cognitive behavioral therapy just to prevent the possibility of the Dark) and being literally tortured and forced into it must be like. so much worse. Plus, isolation has been shown to be really fucking awful for your brain and the Inquisitor’s utter hopelessness (they literally do not believe that the Empire can be stopped and are really angry at anyone who tries) kind of seems like the whole being unable to believe that things can be better and getting angry at people who try to help part of depression?

Basically I don’t really know enough about mental health to say definitively, but I’m guessing a core part of Inquisitor Initiation is like. Insane mental abuse to get them to crack.

This last bit is less supported, and I know even less about it, so I’m going to keep this real brief, but I think there’s a possibility of some sexual abuse as well? This is a pretty big thing in fanon with the Grand Inquisitor, and then there’s all the creepy pervy stuff with Seventh Sister that she did not learn from the Jedi, but that’s as much as I’ll say for that because I know nothing about this kind of thing.

So, those are really the three things that define the Inquisitors to me: their expendability, lack of autonomy, and how their abuse defines them. I could write more on this, but this post took a fucking month already, so I’ll stick to those points.

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des8pudels8kern · 11 months

Text

Ah yes, bedtime. The time to calm down and turn off my brain in preparation for sleeping. What better time could there be to think about another moment in the fake Sith!Obi-Wan AU.

And, while Cody isn’t unhappy that he didn’t wake up with chattering teeth, no feeling in his feet, and sore muscles from trembling all night, there is one slight problem with the comfortable cocoon of warmth he has found himself in.

“Don’t hello there me. How did you get in here?”

The air in the tent is cold enough to mist his breath as he speaks, manifesting in a short-lived cloud in the handful of inches between their faces. Kenobi’s bleary, sith-yellow gaze goes cross-eyed, trying to focus on something that’s already dissipated again, before he lifts his eyes back to Cody’s.

“Through the tend flap,” he smiles, clearly labouring under the misconception that he’s cute when, really, he is being an infuriating nuisance.

Cody sighs. He’s just woken up, he’s not cold, and he hasn’t had his morning caf yet.

Actually, he probably has morning breath right now. Kriff, he hopes it’s bad and Kenobi suffers.

“How did you get into our secure camp and into my command tent without getting noticed?”

“Oh, I didn’t,” the invader in his bed beams at him, “I saw Waxer on guard duty and asked him if I might be allowed to slip in and share the shelter of your tent rather than spend the night huddling miserably among the rocks.” Cody doesn’t quite know what his face is doing in reaction to this betrayal by his very own squad, but Kenobi is quick to add, “he made me promise not to disrupt your sleep.”

“So you thought you’d not disrupt my sleep by sneaking onto my cot and under my blanket with me.”

One of the natborn officers always mutters I’m not getting paid enough for this. Cody is not getting paid at all, but he thinks no amount of credits would be enough to compensate him for having been chosen as Kenobi’s pet project.

“Well, you seemed cold, and I can use the Force to stay warm. The Dark Side, obviously. The fires of hate and anger burn inside of me.”

Kenobi’s hair is mussed from sleep, the fabric of the cot has left lines on one side of his face, and his eyes crinkle in accompaniment of his soft, crooked smile. He couldn’t look any less Fallen if he tried.

Cody allows himself one more moment to bask in the glorious warmth he’s going to loose the moment he moves the blanket and will no doubt mourn all day, then he pulls himself together, reminds himself of his duty, and pushes.

If Kenobi’s comically wide eyes and undignified little yelp are anything to go by, the Force didn’t warn him that Cody was going to shove him off the cot.

#not!fic #star wars #codywan #help this plotbunny has consumed me #fake sith obi wan

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r0gerr0ger · 9 months

Text

Master-padawan relationships are so fascinating in their uniqueness.

Specifically in how unique each relationship is based on age difference between master and padawan.

Obi-Wan is 13 when he becomes Qui-Gon’s padawan, compared to Anakin’s 9. But Qui-Gon is in his late 30s compared to Obi-Wan’s mid-20s as a master. This means Obi-Wan’s relationship is closer to a father-son with his master, versus brotherly with Anakin.

Anakin and Ahsoka are even more like siblings, being so close in age (seriously, how was Anakin allowed a padawan at 19)

So some padawans are growing up with a parental figure. Others with more of a sibling.

The way this would change each Jedi is fundamental. We see this clearly with Obi-Wan compared to Anakin.

Undoubtedly, I also believe it would have impacted Anakin’s fall to the dark side.

It wouldn’t have prevented it (very little if anything could have; it’s what makes the prequels a tragedy) but with a father-figure- someone to reprimand him, to be more authoritative, etc.- perhaps he would have lent less heavily on Palpatine.

Perhaps he would have been guided more openly through his relationship with Padme (here I feel Qui-Gon would have been happy to actually talk about it)

Perhaps Anakin would have felt he could get away with less leading up to his fall. He would have tried harder to stick to the Jedi way- to emulate a father, rather than out-compete a brother.

And yet, equally, I think it could have made his fall all the more terrible.

Often, bitterness for a parent is so much heavier than for a sibling. Anakin would have killed Qui-Gon. He would have levelled so much blame on him. From a slightly different perspective, may even have fallen to the dark side sooner- driven there by resentment, by a need to prove himself.

Obviously, there are so many other factors at play that shaped the way Anakin turned out versus Obi-Wan, but I think their differing master-padawan relationships from an age perspective are hugely important.

What do you think?

(also, how would Ashoka’s life have been different if, say Obi-Wan, was her master?)

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radiosummons · 1 year

Text

This obviously would never happen in SW canon, but like ... I can't help but love the idea of Count Dooku just continously attempting to convince Obi-Wan to "join the Darkside."

Not for like, potential Sith!Obi-Wan purposes, but for just the sheer comedy of Dooku finding increasingly ridiculous ways to spend time with his grandpadawan grandson on the battlefield, all under the very thin veneer of trying to convert Obi-Wan to the Sith's cause.

Idk just the mental image of Sith Lord Palpatine and Dooku sharing a holocall, and Mr. Sheev is all like:

**Sidious: My apprentice, Kenobi has already turned down your generous offer to join us in our crusade against the Jedi. Why do you continue to toil after him while he clings to the corrupt ideals of his wretched Order?

Dooku: My Lord, Master Kenobi is among the few noble opponents to our righetous cause as well as a potential assest I feel we would be remiss to ignore. While he is indeed intrenched in the mires of the childish idealism of his fellow Jedi, I have sensed great turmoil within him. A turmoil which, if exploited properly, could potentially stoke the flame of awakening that you, my Lord, instilled within me.

Dooku: The longer this war continues, the more Master Kenobi will see through the hypocrisy of the Code he has sworn himself to. I sense that with time, he will cease his meaningless repudiations of the truths of which I have envailed to him, and will thus join us as yet another avatar of the Dark Side's will.

Sidious (not buying it one second but completely resigned to the fact that Dooku will continue purusing this anyway): ... very well.**

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan is getting increasingly confused as to the direction Count Dooku's "tactics" have been going. Dooku never stops, of course, being his hypocritical ass self, and continues to give his extremely opinionated takes on the "failings of the Jedi Order."

But overtime, they'll be locked in a deadly duel and Dooku will just randomly inquire what type of tea is Obi-Wan's favorite and if he'd ever be interested in sitting down together sometime to debate over the philosophical differences amongst various Force wielding cultures and the like.

Obi-Wan, naturally, does not allow himself to fall for this farce of an inquiry into his personal interests. Clearly, the Count is simply trying a new (and completely unorthodox) approach in attempt to throw off Obi-Wan's guard. Surely, this new more "sentimental" Dooku is going for is merely a ploy and nothing more?

Although, he did seem quite genuine in his interest. For what reason, Obi-Wan has absoutely no idea.

Cue several months worth of "coincidental" clashes between Obi-Wan and Dooku, the former seemingly aware of where Obi-Wan will be regardless of how well the Jedi Master goes to hide his whereabouts. The GAR and Jedi Council, obviously, find these "coincidences" to be highly suspicious and concerning. Obi-Wan does as well, but he can't help but try to think of potential ways they could use Count Dooku's painfully obvious interest in him to their advantage.

Nobody (besides Yoda-because of course he would) quite understands Obi-Wan's growing humor with the whole situation, but they can't deny that he has a point.

Anakin can't stop being annoyed that Dooku won't stop dismissing him, but conceeds that he'd prefer the contempt the Sith Lord has for him over whatever the weird quasi-familial relationship that his Master seems to be forming with the traitorous Sith.

Ahsoka doesn't understand much of what's going on either, but she sort of gets where Obi-Wan is coming from. If there's a way that they can keep Count Dooku's focus on one target and away from the rest of their campaign, then surely that's something they should at least try? But, yeah, it is really really weird how amused/excited Obi-Wan seems about the prospect of being Sith bait yet again.

Cody would just like one campaign where he doesn't have to witness his General engaged in a violent physical and verbal spar over where Obi-Wan's loyalties should lie. It would also be amazing if his General would stop making jokes about the Count kidnapping him one day and serving him vintage Serreno wine in his prison cell.

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bi-wan · 2 years

Text

"You wanted to see me, Senator Skywalker?"

The heavy door of the apartment opens easily under his hand, his gaze going immediately to the lean figure standing next to the large windows. The colours of the sunset bathe the seemingly relaxed shoulders on the senator beautifully, even half covered in a heavy robe.

"Just 'Anakin' is fine." The man says as he turns, revealling a much less conservative outfit than the one he saw him wearing at the senate floor. Gone are the layers of dark fabric that accentuated his broad shoulders, replaced by a tight top that allows him to show off his tight stomach, his golden skin. His baggy pants resting so low on his hips Obi-Wan can clearly appreciate the gorgeous indent of his hip bones.

Obi-Wan had never felt his mouth water this fast in his life.

"Senator Anakin" his mouth provides helpfully, speaking out of habit, because his brain is definitely not the one helping now. He has the pleasure of seeing his stomach ripple as Senator Skywalker laughs at his small attempts to keep some modicum of distance.

"Padmé told me you were funny." The man adds, motioning for him to get closer. He hadn't noticed his placement next to the window was strategic, until the warm light of the setting sun kissed the side of his face. Now it seemed painfully obvious how Anakin had looked for a warmth source, like a loth-cat on a roof.

"Why did you call me here, Senator?" He insists, feeling the need to get it out of the way before he starts noticing more things about his companion. The knowledge of exactly what shade of blue Anakin's eyes are this up close will haunt him for days to come.

Maybe months.

"I've heard you have some experience in dealing with the Hutts," Anakin says, disdain clear in his voice even as he pronounces the name of the former ruler of Tatooine in anything but the title. "and I need your help."

"The Jedi will aid you in anything the senate deems necessary" Obi-Wan offers immediately, his brow furrowing. The senator shouldn't (wouldn't) have called him personally here if he wanted help from the Jedi, much less talked to him. He should have requested a meeting with—

"And wait years for these old fucks to decide on whether a tiny planet of the outer rim needs help?" Anakin laughs, his tone both disbelieving and disdainful. His eyes are wild as he gets closer, his face inches away. "No, Master Kenobi — Obi-Wan," the senator corrects himself, his hands going to rest over the jedi's crossed arms. "You are going to help me take the Hutts down. Just you and me."

Obi-Wan doesn't need to have the gift of foresight to know that he is going to help this gorgeous man in front of him.

Shit, he is, isn't he. He is going to help Anakin Skywalker, senator of the Republic, the Huttslayer, marksman extraordinaire, take down one of the most famous crime families in the Galaxy. Obi-Wan is fucked.

Quinlan would be so proud of him.

#anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #obikin #ficlet #cam.png #senator skywalker au #cam.docx

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obi-wkenobi · 2 years

Note

1/? Okay but 5+1 fic featuring 5 times Obi wan accidentally caught anakin in a compromising position/anakin + Obi wan were in a compromising position &one time he put anakin in a (com)promising Position 😏😏😏 idk man I’m just think of scenarios like Obiwan & anakin having to hide in a really tight space &anakin’s ass is presssd against Obiwan & force help him but anakin won’t stop wriggling or Obi wan catching anakin leaving a room butt naked: “I swear master! It’s not what you think!!”

aswdelncoijw *wails* anon!!!!! the noise i made when i found this in my inbox the other day was inhuman. this is chefs kiss, perfect, wonderful, magnificent, and exactly my type of thing. i’m more inclined to go with the second option, just because the idea of them actually being together and obi-wan’s control getting progressively less lax each time they find themselves in a compromising position makes my brain turn to static. the rising tension between them has me panting just !!!!! fuck. okay, here’s a thing:

“Dance, Anakin. Now,” Obi-Wan warns, shoving them further in amongst the press of bodies around them.

Obi-Wan rolls his hips, all slow rocking and easy thrusts that speaks of his senior Padawan years spent traversing the lower levels of Coruscant with Quinlan. His former Padawan on the other hand merely grimaces, shuffling his feet and rocking his hands from side to side, looking like a lost tooka amongst its predators.

“You’re going to get us caught,” Obi-Wan hisses, his voice harsh, having to pierce through the rhythmic thumping of the music.

Anakin glares at him, indignant. He sways harder and winces when an enthusiastic Twi’lek bumps into him. Obi-Wan forces himself to not roll his eyes, instead choosing to watch as the Iradu guards currently chasing them stand in the corner of the room. The dance floor is crammed and they shouldn’t be seen, except Anakin is as stiff as a protocol droid.

“Master,” Anakin whines, “why the kriff are we here?”

“Just dance, Anakin,” Obi-Wan snaps. “You do know how to dance, don’t you?”

He is aware that his voice is too severe, his demeanour too irritated, yet he can’t find it within himself to care. Not when sweat is already gathering under his shirt, dampening the line of his back and in between the crevices of his elbows and knees. Even worse is that he can smell Anakin, and he finds that he doesn’t dislike the dark scent.

“Master,” Anakin complains again, his face pinching in distress, clearly uncomfortable.

Obi-Wan gives him a look, a look that says do as I say, and watches as he attempts to move once again. He’s gangly. All elbows and knees and awkward feet, and Obi-Wan is reminded that for all of Anakin’s bravado and frequent arrogance, underneath them is a man who is mostly unsure. Sometimes Obi-Wan forgets that Anakin’s insecurities can be found in the oddest of places. He reins it in most of the time, especially when Obi-Wan himself is around, but here on this planet, shoulders hunched forward and dark eyes skittery, he looks incredibly self conscious.

The music continues to pulse and the lights continue to flicker, all crimson red, purple noir, and electric blue as a uniform of bodies roll and twist together. Anakin continues to shuffle; those insufferably tight trousers he’s wearing are undoubtedly not helping, the white mesh shirt revealing the embarrassed blush on his chest. Obi-Wan averts his gaze. This is probably good for Anakin, to get him out of his comfort zone and introduce him to missions that involve tact and don’t just include blasting his way to success.

Still, Obi-Wan consciously gentles his tone. “You took dance classes at the Temple, didn’t you? Just remember those lessons.”

Anakin scoffs. “They didn’t teach dancing like this,” he says defensively, voice strained.

Obi-Wan grits his teeth, forcing himself not to lash back. Force, but why did Anakin have to be such a brat?

“Like what?” he asks lowly, grinning as a new song starts, featuring a filthy bass that has him rolling his hips, slow and deep.

“Like that—” Anakin growls, additional heat immediately rippling across his cheeks.

Obi-Wan curls amusement between them in the Force and peers at him in the dimness of the room, waiting for him to explain.

“Yes?” he prompts, smirking.

“Grinding,” Anakin spits out, gesturing towards Obi-Wan’s moving figure.

Obi-Wan laughs. “No, I suppose they didn’t.”

Anakin inhales, exhales, swallows thickly and looks anywhere but at Obi-Wan. He is perhaps enjoying Anakin’s unease a bit too much, but well, there is something extremely endearing about—

“Well I’m not doing it,” Anakin bites out, panic edging his voice.

Obi-Wan’s fondness is immediately replaced with vexation. He puffs out a frustrated breath and rolls his shoulders, annoyance twisting his mouth. How typical of Anakin, to snarl like an animal when placed in a situation he is unfamiliar with. He is about to reply, something calm and not at all maddened when movement in his periphery catches his eye.

The Iradu guards are entering the crowd—

“—kriff!”

He grabs Anakin’s wrist and forcefully pulls him forward, twisting him around so that his back thumps against Obi-Wan’s chest. Anakin makes a panicked sound and flails until Obi-Wan grabs at his hips and presses them close together, something tight winding in his stomach as he moves Anakin to dance against him—to grind against him.

“What—what are you doing?!”

Obi-Wan huffs unsteadily behind his ear and whispers, “The guards are in the crowd. You need to dance with me, we can’t be caught, Anakin. You know how much trouble this will cause in the senate if it's found out that Jedi were sent here.”

Anakin makes some wounded noise that he can’t parse before nodding, and Obi-Wan lets out a relieved breath. He keeps one hand gripping at Anakin’s hip, encouraging each hesitant movement. The other moves up to Anakin’s throat, silently urging him to tilt his head back until it rests against Obi-Wan’s shoulder and ensuring that his face is hidden. Obi-Wan burrows his own head in Anakin’s neck, frowning as Anakin's Adam’s apple bobs beneath his hand and his breathing comes out shallow.

It feels horribly intimate and for a wild moment Obi-Wan considers changing the plan, except Anakin’s hips then begin to purposefully roll against his, his—Force, his ass grinds perfectly against Obi-Wan’s groin, just like it should if they were two strangers in a club caught up in nothing but the sweaty, intoxicating heat of each other.

Obi-Wan gasps and swallows a wanton moan and meets Anakin’s thrust. They move as one, Obi-Wan tightens his hold on Anakin’s hip and Anakin digs hands into his own thighs. The intensity of it, the rocking—kark—the dragging of Anakin’s ass against him, even over his trousers, has his cock hardening.

It feels—

Arousal coils tight and hot in his gut, his breathing nothing but shaky, damp exhales against humid, golden skin. He bites at his lip, stopping himself from groaning as the throbbing of his cock becomes an ache, so hard and sticky and wet that the friction of Anakin’s repeated grinding has him almost coming in his kriffing trousers.

Obi-Wan grits his teeth and moves slower, changing his rhythm to a patient, hard roll that causes static to pulse behind his eyes. He could fuck Anakin like this, fuck him deep and relentless—

A high, loose sound comes strangled out of Anakin’s throat. It is desperate, and enough to knock sense back into Obi-Wan. He promptly creates space between himself and Anakin, ignoring the needy whine that comes from Anakin as he does so, and scans the room, seeing no signs of the Iradu guards.

“Let’s go,” he rasps, instantly moving away and trying to keep himself from doing something ridiculous, like grabbing at his former Padawan and asking him how he wants to take it.

“Obi-Wan?”

Why does Anakin have to sound like that? All insecure and worried, needing reassurance. Obi-Wan can't deny him when he sounds like that.

Obi-Wan glances back at him, and immediately wishes he hadn’t. He looks positively debauched; chest heaving, pupils blown, and cheeks bright red. Needy and hungry and aroused, so beautiful that it hurts. Strands of hair have fallen into his face, plastered to his forehead by the droplets of sweat trickling down his temple. Obi-Wan has to look away as he tries to smother down the traitorous arousal returning to boil in his stomach. He digs his nails into his forearms, biting at the skin so he won’t reach out and touch.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin repeats, and despite the worry there, his voice still comes out grated and husky, and Obi-Wan has to blink against the sound of it.

“Anakin,” he says, a warning or a plea, he doesn’t know.

Anakin’s steps up to him, eyes dark and blown. “Did I dance well, Master?” he asks, coy.

Obi-Wan's jaw clenches and he breathes deeply, shuddering as Anakin leans in and places a hand on his thigh, too close to his still straining cock to be unintentional.

“You did,” he croaks, feeling fraught and strung taut, ready to strike.

If possible, Anakin blushes even more so, and the moment of sincerity allows Obi-Wan to take back the reins he had let fumble from his grip.

“I sense that this is a conversation for a different time,” he says, voice both exasperated and fond.

“If you say so, Master,” Anakin pants, far too pleased with himself.

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and pushes through the crowd, knowing that Anakin is following his lead and scowls in both delight and dread as he remembers that he and Anakin must tonight share a bed.

this ran away from me and ends quite abruptly but i desperately want to see them dancing and grinding away at each other and obi-wan basically being on the verge of nutting because it’s so good

#these filthy wanton men #i adore them #obikin #spicy #anon asks #fic ideas #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #my writing

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ninjigma · 9 months

Text

RexObi Week Part 7/7 - First / Previous

Day 7: Wedding Invitation Track: 'Share Your Address' - Ben Platt (Spotify / YouTube)

Rex didn't always wake up first. Though it was rare enough that when he didn't find Obi-Wan's warm side to tuck into that morning, he was wide awake in seconds, eyes blinking any remnants of sleep away as easily as any clone trooper could.

Quick eyes covered the room, noted things at record speed. Nothing was broken or out of place, the patio door was open, but not any further then Rex had been opening it in the mornings, and Obi-Wan's clothes were still tossed on the floor from the night before. The biggest things out of place were that one, it was still dark out, and two, the door to the attached fresher was slightly open with light spilling out, but their was no noise beyond.

As loath as Rex was to leave the warmth of the bed, he was also as curious as any clone could be, and with how silent it was he couldn't help but wonder what had woken the Jedi. There was even a hint of worry beginning to grow the more time passed, Rex all to familiar with the things that could wake and haunt a Jedi, especially Obi-Wan. So, with only a mild huff, he slid from the blankets, pulled on the oversized sweater their barely reached past the curve of his backside, and made his way over to the door.

"Kenobi?"

And though Rex had made no effort to be quiet, had pulled the sweater over his naked form with a mumble at being up and wasn't shielding his presence at all, the word sparked a very sudden reaction out of Obi-Wan. He had his back to Rex, standing almost eerily still, and Rex did not like the completely unfocused look he could see on Obi-Wan's face in the mirror. He appeared freshly showered and was dressed except for a folded blue dress shirt on the counter, but something just seemed off as rex's eyes flickered over the scars and marks he had come to know so well. There was also a hair buzzer, shaving cream, a towel, and Rex could guess what was supposed to be happening. But with the lack of movement he had been prompted to say the mans name, only instead of turning or answering or anything Rex had expected, Obi-Wan flinched hard, dropped the razor, and then hissed while clamping a hand to the left side of his neck.

"Rex!" The surprise in Obi-Wan's voice was enough to make Rex blink in confusion, but him whirling toward Rex with a look the clone would normally have described as fear was much worse. "I- I'm sorry I woke you I was just, er, woke up and figured I'd clean up, of sorts."

Rex shook his head a bit in bewilderment. "You didn't really wake me, sir, just woke up," Rex then took a further step forward, reaching out towards where Obi-Wan was still clutching at his neck. "You were really quiet Obi-Wan, are you-"

Obi-Wan caught Rex's wrist in his free hand, the movement fast but the grip gentle. "I'm okay, really my dear," at this ever so convincing statement Obi-Wan stepped forward and pressed a quick kiss to Rex's palm, which Rex normally would have been happy about, but now had doubts as his Jedi continued to move forward, crowding Rex back the few steps out of the fresher. "I'll be done in a moment, promise. If you'd like, I had the morning cart sent up early, it should be outside now so you can help yourself well I finish, all right?"

Rex only had time to nod absently, eyes flicking to where a drop of dark crimson had escaped down the side of Obi-Wan's throat before they were parted, and the door slid shut between them.

And Rex felt... lonely. It was a hard contrast to what must have been only hours ago, the evening before when Obi-Wan had so clearly reminded Rex of how much he loved him, fought for him the way Rex craved. Now he felt he was missing something very important, important to Obi-Wan. And if he was important enough to know about such things in the Jedi's life, then... well, Rex hadn't exactly been in a lot of relationships, but he did truly believe they were meant to share such things. That if something had Obi-Wan acting like this, then something must be wrong, and that meant something was wrong for Rex too, because the clone saw their worries together now, their hopes and wants intertwined. To fight back to back, never seeing but always trusting the other to be there. Not against, and not even side by side. The blind faith that your most vulnerable could be trusted wholeheartedly to someone. That was love right? Which means no, Rex shouldn't let Obi-Wan face whatever was obviously worrying him, hurting him. He should be in there with him, helping with the cut on his neck, weaving through the usual brand of nervous Jedi Obi-Wan still sometimes slipped into.

But when Rex raised his hand to the controls he thought of that moment again and froze.

Because maybe what was wrong was Rex.

The clones mind suddenly went a mile a minute, tracing over the last few minutes, days, weeks. Trying to find the change, the moment. But he had answers for everything that seemed out of place besides just now. And what could have happened between Obi-Wan pushing Rex down into their bed and Rex waking up alone in it?

Rex lowered his hand.

On the autopilot of past mornings Rex moved back to the kitchen and retrieved the cart from the hall. He noted how it had a few extra things today, a variety of treats like small pastries with powdered sugar dusted on them, and braided bite sized ones Rex discovered were filled with a type of strawberry jam. Sadly though he found he it hard to enjoy them the way they were probably intended. His mind kept blinking back, unsure whether to settle in the thoughts of what is wrong, or that he was somehow wrong. He didn't have any reason to really think such things, had been with Kenobi long enough to build a trust between them that if there really was something wrong and Rex was responsible for it, then Kenobi would come to him with it. In fact, he had already done so a few times, including opening up just nights ago with how he had been worried about not knowing how to give Rex a proper vacation. So, surely, it couldn't be Rex.

But what else could it be? What would prompt Obi-Wan not to share his worries now; what else could there be that Kenobi apparently did not trust Rex with?

It was just starting to gnaw at him properly when the Jedi came into the room, now with his shirt on and a small shimmery patch just below his beard where a pink line was healing. Rex expected something then, an admission of what was happening now that Kenobi had time to process, or even an apology ready as he still had a habit of doing. But he didn't do any of that, instead seeming to be only smiles again. In fact, he seemed near giddy now, slowly lifting the sweater and running broad hands up over Rex's sides. It was somewhat reassuring, the touch calming a part of Rex as it stayed rather innocent and exploratory, pulling away only ever long enough to sip caf or grab a fruit to share; but no talk of what had happened in the fresher came up. And before Rex knew it, the General had suggested a walk and he was holding his hand, quietly following the Jedi's lead.

Which brought him to the beach. Rex loved the beach, loved the water, the feeling, the sound, the smell. This early, with the sun just breaking above the waves, there weren't many people at all, mostly just a few workers here and there setting up morning stalls and activities. And the further down the beach they went the less there were, until it was just them and the waves biting at their feet.

"Rex?"

Rex came to a halt, the hand in General Kenobi's being pulled slightly behind him as the Jedi stopped walking. And when he looked back and found the concern so plainly written on the Jedi's face, Rex couldn't help sighing quietly in his head.

"Yes General?"

He watched as lips pursed tightly, and a decision was apparently made. "You've been rather quiet my love. I know you asked if I was okay earlier, and I promise again I am, but-"

"No."

The snap of the General's mouth was almost audible, everything about him going still at Rex's clipped tone. The hand still entwined with Rex's barely seemed to even have a pulse, everything frozen despite the quickly warming air.

"I didn't ask," Rex continued. "You said you were okay before I got to ask the question."

There was a bob to that freshly shaven throat, eyes that widened and an almost palpable upset easing out around them.

"Rex I... I'm so sorry. I had just- just..."

"Just what sir?"

The formal titles seemed to be getting to the Jedi now, who's eyes continued to try and flicker away. He was fighting something, Rex definitely knew the signs of that, but the clone couldn't honestly tell what. And the more time that ticked by, the more the sun rose and the waves began hitting against their shins, the more Rex wanted to wade into the water and disappear.

"If you really don't trust me enough to tell me what happened, what is wrong-" Rex started.

"That isn't-"

"Or if I have done something to upset you somehow that I am incapable of correcting-"

"No, Rex-"

"Then why are we here?"

His tone was level, Rex was good at that. Clear and straight cut. He wasn't letting anything play through his words, wasn't stating anything other then the words themselves. He kept his eyes up, locked on General Kenobi's forehead for the illusion of contact without ever actually making any. So he was able to note the true flash of emotions play across the General's face. Micro flinches Rex had long since catalogued, surprise turned to hurt before morphing to distress and hints of panic. Obviously Rex had been right, that something was wrong. Something was worrying General Kenobi and the man had chosen to hide it from him.

So when the General then let go of his hand, sputtering through noises that made no sense and hands beginning to wave about slightly, Rex decided maybe they really did both need a moment and turned to the water.

Rex didn't care that he wasn't wearing swim gear, didn't care that he left his sandals where the ocean would no doubt swallow them into its tides. He simply walked out until it was at his waist, gave the General the space and time he believed was wanted from Rex, and let himself sway with the surf instead. The water was still so cool, weaving past the fabric to ease at his muscle and take weight from his bones. His hands slowly began carding through the water, swirling in the ebb and flow of it. The water withstood the test of time better then anything ever had or ever will, and Rex let that familiar thought ground him. Let the waters immovable change strengthen him as it had many times before.

And for how long it was, he didn't know for sure, but the sun was about half way up when he opened his eyes again. He could sense General Kenobi to his left sooner then that, but he hadn't said a word until Rex had taken a deep breath and turned toward him.

"You haven't done anything wrong Rex. And even if you had, I would more then trust you with it as well. I am sorry I gave you the impression otherwise."

Rex stayed silent still. He could feel that there was more; and besides that, General Kenobi's words were hollow if he did not fulfill the truth of them and trust Rex with what was wrong.

"I was just- I am nervous."

Which... wasn't the answer Rex expected. And unfortunately his silence this time was only met with the sound of waves, so he gave in to the prompting. "Nervous for what? That isn't much of an explanation sir-"

"Rex I know, I know," The General had turned quickly, once again taking Rex's wrist in his hand. But instead of kissing it goodbye this time, he brought it between both of his hands and pulled it towards his heart. "I know it is no explanation, especially not the one you deserve, I just- if I go through with it right here I am afraid I would actually drown with my height, and if I don't do it the right way I am positive Cody will find out somehow, and I rightfully already karked it up cutting myself shaving, Vos is going to hang me from my beard, not to mention you almost saw the ring because I couldn't follow the one rule Cody gave about not taking it out until I was proposing and-"

Rex's other hand clamped down on General Kenobi's mouth, the Jedi's looking desperately back to Rex. But Rex couldn't think much on that as he struggled to comprehend everything that just came spilling out of the Jedi. "I think you need to start that over, before Cody really does appear from no where to shove you in the ocean."

As the clones hand pulled away Obi-Wan's watery blue eyes widened in realization of what he said, and if Rex was being honest with himself, which he always tried to do, it was somewhat amusing how this was all falling apart in a very Obi-Wan way. Because if what Rex caught in all of that was truly what was about to happen, then this was most definitely a story that would make it back to Cody, with the express note that Rex wouldn't want a single second of it changed. Especially not when Obi-Wan once again fumbled as he seemed to forget himself and go to kneel, only to require Rex to grab him swiftly as a wave smacked into his shoulder and nearly took him under with it.

And now, both standing inches apart with Rex clutching Obi-Wan's shirt in a death grip and Obi-Wan snatching at a small, familiar blue colored box out of the water, tight enough to turn his already pale knuckle pure white as they both slowly began to laugh.

"Oh Rex," Obi-Wan sighed, face split in the most honest smile Rex had ever witnessed on him. "I am so sorry for being such a fool. But I am not the least bit sorry for how it has brought us here. I have a whole speech memorized, Cody made me repeat it over and over to Quinlan while Quinlan gave me various responses, but none of it was... this."

"Was what?" Rex couldn't stop his own smile that was almost starting to hurt now. "Was you nearly drowning because you forgot what you just said, calling yourself too short? Or the part where you have already blurted out what you are doing to me without actually doing it yet?"

Obi-Wan groaned, and Rex watched as bright blue eyes ensnared in crows feet rolled to the side. "All of it Rex, all of it. How do I even start to fix this?"

"Well," Rex hummed, letting his hold go a bit more slack but keeping his hands on Obi-Wan's broad chest. "Seems a shame to do all of that work and then not say your speech."

Rex could feel the waves still pushing at them, felt it mirror the pull of Obi-Wan's features as he seemed to think something through very critically for a moment before answering.

"Rex I... well I honestly can't. Later, if you want the full thing, I shall recite it with all the dramatics that I always deny having, but right now this just seems more... right. I don't know how to encompass everything we have been through together in some small speech anyhow. How do I explain how I trust you with everything, all the lives and happiness of those I love most, in the same time constraint that I give special prose to how much I adore the way your nose scrunches differently depending on your emotions- like that!"

Rex had in fact scrunched his nose up without realizing at the mention of his nose, and Obi-Wan had stolen the opportunity to quickly pop upward and kiss the end of it, much to the already overwhelmed clones amusement.

"My point is, rún, that you are the light of my life, the one I want to dedicate myself fully to, in every way imaginable, in front of every being who will listen including the Force itself. I love you. All of you. All that you have been, all that you are, and all that you will become. And to share all of that with you would be the highest honor I, high Jedi Master and General of the third systems army Obi-Wan Kenobi, could ever be given. So, letting the years speak for me, all I ask now is if you would give me the most wonderful gift of allowing me to remain at your side until the end, and guard your back as you have protected my heart against anything this galaxy can come up with, and marry me?"

Rex had been biting his lip, trying not to make a sound throughout all of Obi-Wan's fumbled words, taking them all in as the sun rose higher and the waves continued to hug them. He truly couldn't believe it was all happening though, that Obi-Wan Kenobi was saying this to him. A man with a galaxy wide reputation that was only truly rivaled by his own former Padawan, a man who had lead countless successful battles and missions, who had been giving his entire life to keep the peace before Rex had even been a test tube of random DNA. He stood now before Rex, a simple clone, and said he would dedicate all of that to him, if he only allowed him.

And though Rex had questions, like how Obi-Wan would keep his dedication to the order, those answers would come later (mostly in the shape of Anakin awaiting them on the landing platform, excitedly announcing how he had managed to outmaneuver Cody to get Obi-Wan's resignation letter to Windu for absolutely every Jedi and their clone on the platform to hear). For now, Rex only had one thing he wished to say as Obi-Wan very carefully opened the box between their chests to reveal a silver ring, inset with dark blue jaig eye shaped gems fit snugly around a light blue crystal that pulsed with a familiar kyber core.

And he said it first without any words at all, heart bursting in his chest as he tightened his hands on Obi-Wan's shirt again and tugged him in for a promise sealed in a kiss. Then he backed only a breath away and locked a gaze that could make most beings squirm directly on Obi-Wan. "Yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Nothing would make me happier then being attached to your clumsy, dorky, handsome, brilliant, stubborn, and amazing self for the rest of my life."

And if there was one thing Rex would never forget, it was how brightly Obi-Wan smiled up at him then after slipping that ring on his finger with shaky hands, or how the sun lit the grey in his hair so brightly it begged for Rex to thread his newly decorated hand through it. To capture Obi-Wan once again without any barrier between them. Just the light of a new day, the waves they stood against, and the currents of the universe melding them together.

Because if there was ever any guarantee in this universe, it was this: Obi-Wan needed to love, and Rex needed to be given it.

@rexobiweek

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toska-writes · 11 months

Note

padawan reader cuddling while watching holo video with waxer and boil?? wdyt? i love them sm ughh and maybe a little implied codywan would be make it more cute ig

Ahhhh omg I love this idea! Good job!

“Inconspicuous ”

Summary: You snuck away quietly into the night to try and do a fun activity with Waxer and Boil, well maybe it wasn’t as sneaky as you thought.

Pairing: Waxer and Boil x GN padawan Reader. (WE <3 PLATONIC FICS)

Warning: none! So much flufffff.

Word count: 900 exactly

Notes: it would have came out a lot sooner but The legends of Zelda: Breath of the Wild has consumed me

Read here on ao3! (✩)

Cody watched as you looked back once over your shoulder than again over the other. How you haven’t been shot yet was beyond him.

Once you thought no one was looking you continued to walk quietly down the darkened hall.

Sighing to himself Cody pushed off from the wall he was leaning from and excused himself from the shiny he was talking too.

If he could stop just one of his men from getting into trouble he would be doing his job well, and you were notorious for making trouble.

He gave you a head start of course. Quickly he brought his comms up to his mouth before he lightly spoke.

“Did you know your padawans out of the temple?”

A muffled laugh came from over the other end. “Well no dear, “Obi-wan paused for a second.

”but I do have to admit after dealing with Anakin I assumed the quiet was because of their absence.”

Cody shook his head slightly as he watched you turn another corner.

“At least I like them more than Anakin.”

•✩•

You couldn’t contain your smile as you turned another corner. The darkness of the night was in your favor masking your presence.

The hallways through the barracks seemed second nature now as you continued to twist and turn without batting an eye.

Securely under your arm was a holo-pad that you prayed to the maker above you wouldn’t drop.

The holo-pad in question buzzed as you continued to walk the deserted corridors.

Clearly Waxer couldn’t wait any longer.

Finally making a final turn you knocked at the door for a second before shuffling was heard from somewhere within.

“Nobody’s home.” Boil called through the cracks of the door.

“I guess I’ll just have to find someone else to watch this with then, I’m sure Cody or maybe Obi-wan would lov-“ the door flew open in a second and before you could blink a large arm ushered you inside.

“We’ve already got a full house commander.” The room was already dark enough. Pillow and blanket of all different sizes scattered the the floor.

Some hushed conversations were held throughout the room as you saw Woolley, Waxer, Crys, and a few others laid out around the floor.

“And we thought that if we hooked the holo-pad to a projector maybe we could get it on the wall.” Boil filled you in while he took the holo-pad and you made your way over to Waxer with his arms outstretched.

You snuggled in close to Waxer as you added. “That would be perfect if we could get it to work.”

It was trial and error for Boil as he stood trying to get the holo video up and running. Many curses and other things along that line later, and the projector worked.

A small group of cheers sounded from everyone around the room. Waxer sighed over dramatically and practically flopped on top of you.

“Maker commander Im so tired, maybe I’ll get rest my eyes here.” He leaned more of his weight onto you as you let out a laugh.

“No no no Boilllll!” You shouted for the other man next to you.

Boil tried to grab onto the blacks of his brother. “Come on ya big lug the videos starting.”

“Yea shhhh.” You added as Waxer found a spot to the other side of you.

In respond Waxer ruffled your hair a bit and stuck his tongue out at you. Finally everyone seemed to settle into the night and watch in peace.

Almost everyone.

A knock at the door sounded an quickly nervous glances shot through the room.

“It’s open.” Boil called from next to you.

With anticipation high the door seemed to move in slow motion and a moment later stepped in the marshal commander with his arms crossed.

“You need something Kotes?” Waxer asked not necessarily wanting to get up yet.

“The general was just looking for Y/N.” Cody’s gaze sweeper through the dark room as the holo video was paused. “Seen em?”

“Mmmmmmm no?” Waxer said more as a question rather than a statement as he tried to cover you with a blanketz

“Funny. Now if you don’t mind.”

Before he could finish another voice came from the hall. “Oh hey is that a holo video?” Obi-wan made his presence known in the room.

“Oh hey there Master.” You said, sleep laced your voice slightly. “Do you and Cody want to join for a little bit.”

Cody looked expectantly at Obi-wan before he answered. “I hope you didn’t forget about your training tomorrow morning.”

“I didn’t, I won’t be late for it I promise.”

“It’s not going to make a difference if both of you are late.” Cody spoke quieter to Obi-wan.

“Excellent point dear, I guess we’ll have to stay then just so no one gets in trouble.” Obi-wan smiled and grabbed Cody wrist before he could add anything else.

You let out a small laugh as Waxer and Boil did the same around you.

The video continued as the two men found a comfortable spot on the floor together.

Boil laid a head onto your shoulder and Waxer snuggled closer under your arm. Warmth sprang up all around you as you practically melted into you seat.

You felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier, the small snores of Boil filled your ears as you let your eyes shut fully

You could get use to falling asleep like this anytime.

_____________________________________

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu

#star wars clone wars #star wars #the clone boys #the clone wars #clone wars #my writing #toska-writes #clone boys #waxer and boil #waxer x reader #boil x reader #212th shenanigans #212th battalion #commander cody #codywan #reader insert

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phoenixkaptain · 9 months

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I don’t consider Rey a part of the Disaster Lineage.

(I got a comment that mentioned her on my Chaotic Padawans fic and I just figured I should make it clear why she’s not going to show up)

The whole point of the lineage is that each of the characters who are part of it are disasters, that’s obvious, that’s the name, after all, but furthermore, characters like Yoda’s Master aren’t generally considered part of the Disaster part, so clearly just being one of a Master-Padawan pair isn’t enough to fit the criteria, and honestly, Rey just doesn’t fit in.

Rey doesn’t act like any of the Disaster Lineage. More than that, there’s an element of tragedy to the Lineage. There’s the idea of dying in the light of becoming a Sith, “living long enough to see themself become the bad guy” sort of thing, but not quite.

But all the members are very important for two reasons. They all struggle with the Dark Side. They all change the Jedi Order foundationally.

Yoda is probably the oldest Jedi we meet in the movies. That doesn’t mean he’s the oldest in terms of extra content like books or games, but in the movies, he’s by far older than everyone else. And you may be thinking “Yoda never struggled with the Dark Side!!!1!!” but let’s look at this with a critical eye.

Other Jedi exist in the universe. Other Orders and other Force users who listen and follow the Force. But the Jedi Order on Coruscant is one of the only ones that has a rule against attachment, a rule Yoda specifically was the one to make. A rule he had to have made because of himself. He’s old, but he isn’t old enough to have been around during the time of the Sith. His struggle with attachment, his fear of falling to his attachment, had to have been the basis for why he created the rule.

And anyway, we can see Yoda’s attachment. Just because he isn’t as unhinged as Anakin and Obi-Wan, that doesn’t mean he isn’t attached. He’s attached to his own lineage. He’s biased towards them. He lets Obi-Wan train Anakin because it was what Qui-Gon wanted. And let’s be honest, if he didn’t want Anakin to be trained, there were a thousand things he could have done to prevent it, even just simply telling Obi-Wan that he fears Anakin will meet a similar fate to Qui-Gon. Which would be technically lying, but we know Jedi aren’t actually the most honest people in the galaxy and we know they aren’t above manipulation tactics.

Yoda let’s Anakin be trained because it was what Qui-Gon wanted. That’s attachment, pure and simple.

Dooku is obvious. I don’t need to write a mini essay within this essay. Dooku did turn to the Dark Side. Dooku was attached to Qui-Gon. Dooku only left the Order because he blamed them for Qui-Gon’s death, he blames them for all that happened. Dooku changes the Order foundationally because he’s the one who reveals that there are still Sith. (They suspect Maul was a Sith, even believe he was, but they weren’t aware of what was going on until Dooku basically just told Obi-Wan everything.)

Qui-Gon is a bit of a difficult case, I will give you that. But that’s just because we don’t spend a lot of time with him. Moreover, we don’t spend a lot of time with his motivations. He’s a very mysterious character. Did he struggle with the Dark Side? I don’t know. I’m inclined to believe he must have, because why else would Dooku be so sure that Qui-Gon, were he alive, would be on his side? Dooku trained Qui-Gon, so he would probably know. Especially since Jedi Masters generally try to look calm and collected in front of their Padawans, so yeah, maybe Dooku knows Qui-Gon’s struggle better than Obi-Wan would.

Now, does that mean I think Qui-Gon would have become Sith if he lived? No. I think the opposite, actually. The main drawing point of the Sith is to go against the Jedi specifically. They offer more power and less rules. That’s the key here: less rules. Becoming Sith is attractive to those Jedi who feel overly contained, confined by the rules they have to follow. Qui-Gon isn’t one of those Jedi.

Qui-Gon does not listen to the rules in the first place. Qui-Gon wouldn’t become a Sith because they can’t offer him anything. He wouldn’t join for his Master, their relationship is odd and Obi-Wan is better company (we can assume, since Qui-Gon must have kept the pair from meeting on purpose. Which, there are a million reasons why he would have done that, but the funniest option is that he just didn’t want his time with Obi-Wan to be tainted-) Qui-Gon doesn’t seem to desire more power, because he isn’t renowned for his ability with the Force or a lightsaber, two things he had ample time to train up, he’s renowned for his diplomacy. He focused on his diplomacy over his battle prowess. Yes, that’s canon, just watch the movies, they do not mention his ability with the saber being helpful to Padme, they mention his diplomatic ability, I know, I was shocked too. And they can’t offer him less rules, because Qui-Gon doesn’t give a shit about rules in the first place.

Also, I just think that the Sith ultimately have more rules in place than the Jedi, just unspoken, and I think even if Qui-Gon did become Sith, he wouldn’t make it very far in the industry because I truly believe he would follow even less rules.

Qui-Gon is in an interesting position in the Disaster Lineage because he and Luke are the only mavericks, so he’s the only knowingly maverick in the Lineage. Just wanted to mention that. It’s part of why I don’t think he’d turn, he’s already technically in the grey, he doesn’t need to turn.

Qui-Gon changes the Jedi as a whole by becoming a Force Ghost. Something that seems pretty uncommon, seeing how Obi-Wan is excited at the end of Revenge of the Sith to hear that he can speak to Qui-Gon again (“Qui-Gon???? 🥺🥺🥹” that’s how he says it, I promise, those exact words-) Qui-Gon is such a maverick, he also breaks the laws of life and death itself, he’s doing great.

Obi-Wan technically speaking doesn’t struggle with the Dark Side, per se, but he certainly does struggle with staying in the Jedi Order. His backstory with Satine in one of those times (and while it isn’t in the movies, it is one of the more widely known parts of the Clone Wars, so ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ ). Obi-Wan is willing to bend rules for Anakin (there are scenes of him pretending not to know what Anakin is up to, and he is very unsurprised by the baby being Anakin’s, he was aware, okay, he probably told the Council “Anakin? Sleep with a senator? I raised him better than that thank you very much!”) And Obi-Wan definitely fights the most Dark Side (users) of any other Jedi, all things considered. But yes, he only fits this definition on a technicality.

But Obi-Wan is one of the most influential Jedi in the series. He’s considered a Master of his form and one of the best diplomats. The Council members all trust him. He taught the Chosen One, and he’s the only Jedi the Chosen One ever really actually listened to (he’s definitely the only one who can make the Chosen One guilty enough to tell Obi-Wan that he isn’t the cause of Anakin’s downfall, just because he started crying). Obi-Wan is also the first Force Ghost to actually be fully visible. (That was one thing, since Qui-Gon didn’t train to be a Force Ghost, for the most part, they couldn’t really see him all that clearly, just hear him. Or so I assume, since he only talks to Yoda and the only time we see Force Ghost Qui-Gon is on Tatooine. Is Obi-Wan Kenobi series canon? If it is, this point is moot.)

Obi-Wan is one of the most trusted generals during the Clone Wars, the remnants of the Jedi still follow his advice in the aftermath of Order 66, Obi-Wan is the only one in the series who ever manages to convince Yoda to do something as dumb as train another Skywalker, Obi-Wan is the one who gets Luke off Tatooine, Obi-Wan really gets the most shit done, he’s fantastic, 10/10 Jedi-ing, Obi-Wan, 10/10.

Also, technically speaking, Obi-Wan caused the Clone Wars.

Anakin both struggles with the Dark Side and changes things. But, he changes things in ways you might not expect. Contrary to popular belief, he is not the only Jedi to have a child, however, he is almost certainly the only Jedi who choked out his pregnant wife had children as powerful as his. He is also the only Force Anomaly that we know for sure is canon (I don’t think the others are canon anymore, but I am uncertain) and he is definitely the first Sith Lord who turned back to the Light after Sithing for nearly two and a half decades.

Anakin is a fascinating character, just from a narrative standpoint, and if you think about and want to feel bad for the rest of forever, technically soeaking, he did bring balance to the Force. It isn’t his fault that Luke represents balance in the Force, okay? (The whole “bring balance to the Force” thing was an awful addition because of the implication that the Force’s idea of balance was no Jedi, no Sith, only Luke. It is also the funniest addition the prequels gave us)

Ahsoka as a character doesn’t seem to have a struggle with the Dark Side, and she doesn’t seem to change very much, but she fits in the Lineage because of the sense of tragedy that comes with her character. Which is another thing I forgot to mention: all members of this Lineage are tragic. And Ahsoka really embodies this just by being Anakin’s Padawan and being one of the characters who watches his descent. Ahsoka has to watch her Master kill everyone she knows and loves. And that fucking sucks, therefore, Ahsoka fits very well.

Luke is a bit of a special case. He is part of the Lineage, that much is undeniable, but he isn’t like the others in that he was not raised by the Jedi the majority of his life. He didn’t get three or four years under his Master. He technically had two Masters, Yoda and Obi-Wan. (It would be neat if they had Ahsoka teach him, then he’d have three Masters, which is triple the amount a regular Jedi has. But they should also let Force Ghost Anakin teach him, making it four. And Force Ghost Qui-Gon can’t be left out, bump it up to five. And I just think it would be really funny if he found old Jedi writing or something and learned from Yoda’s Master- okay, Kacie, stop this). Luke, by all means, shouldn’t fit in, but he does. He struggles mightily with the Dark Side. There’s a constant, lingering fear over Return of the Jedi that he will turn, even when we know it won’t happen. The slow pace of the scenes with Luke, Palpatine, and Vader makes the tension build. You can see the uncertainty in Luke. You can see how close he is. You can see the moment when he makes the conscious decision not to be seduced. But up to that point, he’s right on the edge, he’s toeing the line, and it’s legitimately concerning to the audience because there’s a fear that he will fall for Sidious’ trap, just like Anakin did.

There is perhaps no Jedi who changes the Order as much as Luke does. That’s just what happens when one creates an Order by themself.

Now, I explained all of the others because I think they have similar, for lack of a better word, vibes with each other. They are all fundamentally different. They have different wants and different backstories and are all technically different species (except for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, who are both from Coruscant, unless you believe Obi-Wan being from Stewjon is still canon, which I don’t know, but would make this parentheses point moot). But all of them are also similar. Similar in the tragedy inherent in their characters, similar in their struggles with the Dark Side, similar in their influence on both the series internally and externally.

Rey just doesn’t quite fit. She doesn’t quite mesh. She feels like a puzzle piece that’s the exact right shape, but the picture just doesn’t work.

Rey feels like she was supposed to fit. She has that tragedy inherent in her character, but it’s a different tragedy than the ones we’ve seen. The only two who are concerned about their parents in this lineage are Anakin and Luke, and they aren’t searching for answers about their parents. Anakin’s mom dies and he watches it. His dad is the Force. Luke is told in no uncertain terms that his dad is dead, and he believes that until Vader reveals that it was a lie. Luke has to come to terms with his father, but that happens offscreen, for the most part. Return of the Jedi implies that he has already mostly accepted it. That’s why he’s in black, that’s why he Force chokes a Gamorrean Guard. He came to terms with his parent, and he accepted that Darth Vader was that parent.

(Much like how Anakin never has any questions or concerns about his father, Luke never has any questions or concerns about his mother. The one time he brings it up, he does so to reveal to Leia that they’re siblings. He’s never actually all that concerned about who she is. I like to think it’s because he has an irrational fear that she’ll turn out to be an even worse thing than Vader was. “My dad turned out to be Vader after I asked questions. I don’t want to ask any questions about my mom.” That sort of thing. It’s definitely not canon but by god is it funny to think about.)

Rey doesn’t get to come to terms with her parents. She’s told they left her behind for her own safety, even though they left her on the second worst option (first worst would’ve been Tatooine, obvs) and left her without anyone to watch her and basically made her feel abandoned. She doesn’t get to come to terms with their abandonment because the movie doesn’t want the audience to see it as abandonment. They want us to think it was heroic, tragic, and so Rey doesn’t get to come to terms with that aspect.

And when it comes to Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter, I have a lot of problems with how it was handled. First of all, she shouldn’t have had to be someone’s daughter/granddaughter to be considered important. There are exactly two characters who are important because of their parentage, Anakin and Luke, and literally every other Jedi in the history of fucking ever has not given a single shit. Obi-Wan didn’t turn out to be Yoda’s secret grandson to explain why he was powerful, because needing to be related to someone is bullshit. Anakin is the exception because he became a Jedi so late, and also his parent was the Force. Luke was an exception because the story is about Darth Vader and so Darth Vader’s son should give a bit of a shot about him, but also everyone constantly tells Luke he’s like his father.

Rey doesn’t fit! She’s never told that she’s like her grandfather, not like Luke is with Anakin. Her grandfather is a fucking fish-faced dumbass old man who managed to lose to a Care Bears Special (the power of love). Palpatine is powerful, sure, but he’s powerful because he trained himself to be powerful. He isn’t inherently powerful. That’s just not how the Force works. Blood relation doesn’t make it easier to use the Force, this is shown time and time again. Anakin still turns to the Dark Side despite being the Force’s child. Luke still manages to have trouble learning to focus despite being the Froce’s grandchild. They both still have to learn to use the Force. And while yes, it does come a bit easier to them, that doesn’t actually mean it should come easier to Rey because Palpatine is not the literal actual Force, therefore his ability to use the Force is not transferable.

Think of it this way. If you are a mermaid, that means that you are half human, half fish, just as Luke and Anakin are part human, part Force. So of course a mermaid could learn to swim easier than a regular person could, they have a tail. They are a fish person. But, if your grandfather was an Olympic swimmer, that doesn’t translate to you being able to be better at swimming. Just because your grandfather was on the same level as the mermaid, that doesn’t mean anything. He was still human. He trained to get that ability, so you would have to do the same if you wanted to be on his level. Get it?

But also, Rey never comes to terms with Palpatine being her grandfather. Also, she kills him, which is what he wanted her to do. Yes, she is empowered by the souls of the Jedi before her, but she still kills him.

There’s a reason Luke doesn’t kill Vader. A few reasons, actually. For one, Vader is helpless in that moment. He had his hand cut off. He’s lying on the ground, overwhelmed. He’s having trouble breathing. To kill him there would be to kill an unarmed opponent, and that goes against the Jedi. Two, killing Vader was what Sidious wanted. And giving Sidious what he wants leaves a nasty taste in my mouth and makes me want to throw things. Luke going against Sidious, literally throwing his lightsaber aside, basically going “fuck off. I’m a Jedi, just like my dad. Yeah, like my dad. You turned him to the Dark Side? Guess what bitch, I’m literally not turning to the Dark Side and invoking his name, which means I am literally to your face mocking you and belittling what you did. Sucker.” From an audience perspective, Luke doing this is super satisfying. We want Sidious to fail, we want to see the smirk wiped off his face, we want his overconfidence to be his downfall, and it ultimately is.

Rey killing Sidious just isn’t as satisfying. Vader is killing the man who turned him against everyone he loved and everyone who loved him. Vader is killing the man who told him his Master didn’t respect him. The man who told him the Jedi would never understand him. The man who groomed him. He’s killing his abuser, the person he’s been enslaved to for twenty plus years. And he does it in a fit of passion. He does it because he realizes that Palpatine never kept any of his promises. Palpatine promised that the Dark Side would save Padme and the baby, and now he is being forced to watch as the Dark Side takes the baby Padme died giving birth to away from him. It’s poignant. It’s meaningful. He’s finally finally free of the man who turned him against the people who loved him.

If Luke had killed Sidious, it might have been satisfying, but it wouldn’t have been as impactful. It wouldn’t have been as meaningful. Palpatine dies because he was overconfident, the same thing that killed his own Master. Palpatine doesn’t believe he can lose, and he’s proven wrong as the last person he expects to turn on him does.

Rey just doesn’t have that connection to Palpatine. She barely knows him. She wasn’t a slave to him for years and years. She wasn’t groomed by him. Her being related to him is ultimately meaningless, because their relation doesn’t cause her to hesitate. And while Sidious dying is satisfying on a lizard brain level, it isn’t impactful or meaningful. It doesn’t mean anything. It just means that he died again. It doesn’t change her in any way.

Killing Sidious changed Vader, freed him from the chains, allowed him to finally remove his mask and see his son with his own eyes. Watching Vader kill Sidious changed Luke. He begged his father to save him and ultimately ended up killing him because his begging worked. He believes that Vader is good, wholeheartedly and completely, because he was there and saw everything that happened. Luke burns Vader on a pyre, respects his identity as a Jedi, mourns for Anakin Skywalker. Rey isn’t changed by killing Sidious. It doesn’t affect her. It’s meaningless, narratively and literally. It doesn’t mean anything to her, to Sidious, or to us.

Rey just doesn’t have that struggle with the Dark Side. There’s no fear that she’s going to turn. There’s no dread. We know she isn’t going to, and the pacing isn’t slow enough to draw out our “but what if…” feeling like it was with Luke. They try to make it a fear, but it has no payoff. Sidious tells Luke to kill him, to kill Vader, and the payoff is that Luke literally throws away his lightsaber. He talks back to the Emperor of the Galaxy, to the man nobody has ever dared to speak back to. He basically says “There’s nothing you can do to make me kill anyone. I’m not going to kill anyone, in rage or otherwise, and so you’ve lost.” Luke refusing to kill out of anger is a loss. That’s the moment Palpatine loses. That’s the first time Palpatine loses. Sidious tells Rey to kill him, and Rey does. And the movie pretends that that’s just fine, nothing bad happens, everything is a-OK. There’s no payoff for his taunting. There’s no fear that Rey will fall.

Rey isn’t a Jedi. Not really. Because she got to kill Sidious out of fear and anger. The rules don’t apply to her. She gets to have psychometry when it’s convenient to the plot, then she gets to turn it off so that touching Darth Vader’s lightsaber doesn’t send her into a coma, like it shOULD- She gets to be trained by Luke and Leia both, just because. She gets to fall in love and the only consequence is that the love interest dies. Which, honestly, barely seems like a consequence since it doesn’t actually seem to change her, not like losing Padme did to Anakin. She gets to have attachments and friends and she isn’t expected to restart the Jedi Order and she just doesn’t become a Jedi. She doesn’t make the sacrifices, she doesn’t go through the pain, she doesn’t have to change herself. She isn’t a Jedi, because she doesn’t really want to be a Jedi.

And that’s why I don’t want to add Rey to my Padawan Chaos. The point of the Padawan Chaos is to give them a break. These characters suffer and suffer and hurt and break apart, and I took them out of the narrative before any of that happens and I let them be happy. Rey just doesn’t need a break as much as the others do. She never struggles as much, her powers are all over the place, her character is inconsistent, she just doesn’t fit.

“But, Kacie, why did you add Leia then?” Easy. Leia is more similar to Anakin, attitude-wise, and she almost certainly struggles with the Dark Side. She’s a politician and a Jedi. She has a character that’s consistent and can play off of not only the other Padawans, but also off of the Jedi Council. She’s allowed to be a badass and feminine at the same time, her femininity is never diminished by how powerful she is, she killed Jabba the Hutt with the chains he put her in, she’s a quick learner and she’s good with a blaster and she’s fucking pissed and she’s so happy to learn that Luke is her brother and she is, as all of the others are, the embodiment of a Jedi, because she puts other people above herself and she’s empathetic and she’s kind without expectation and she deserves to be a Jedi because she and Luke build each other up in a way that’s unique to their relationship and powerful and-

Leia is a better female character than Rey, but she’s more than that. She’s a better Jedi.

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