#couldnt write it down til i got home
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dipper's guide to the unexplained about bill cipher but when dipper tries to walk in on bill doing something that proves his hypothesis, he instead walks in on bill and ford making out
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Hiii!!! You could write a sumin (xikers) smut please😊?!?!? Looking forward to reading your writings🙃
Best Friend
sypnosis: you get ready a little early because you’re really excited to have a movie marathon with your best friend.
warnings: making out, fingering, oral (f reciving), hair pulling, fem!reader, kinda voyeurism, masterbating (m), use of pet names pretty & pretty girl, kinda degradation if you sqiuint. the use of the name whore. body worshiping if you squint, chubby reader implied but not specified
notes: yay ofc i love sumin so so much, this is also my first writing in so so long so if its bad pls dont bust my ass im trying my best
you had finished getting all your stuff together now you just had to wait. sumin, your best friend, had invited you over for a movie marathon, he wanted to watch every single saw movie. you had no complaints seeing as saw was your favorite movie series and you could talk about it for hours. but sumin never seemed interested in it but one day he just told you he wanted to watch all of them so you offered to go over to his house to watch all of them with him.
the wait was absolutely killing you. like usual, you got ready a whole 2 hours earlier then you should’ve so you were just sitting in your living room, waiting, trying to find something to occupy your time til it was time to go over sumins place.
you being impatient decided to go over a little early ‘being a little early couldnt hurt, all we’re doing is watching movies’ you thought to yourself as you made your way to his house.
you’d arrived at his place. knocking on the door of his home, with no answer. you knew where he hid the spare key so you decided to let yourself in. “sumin! im here, i know its a little early but i kinda got ready really early again.” you called out, to no answer again. thinking he was in the shower you set your stuff down on the floor and made your way to the bathroom. the bathroom was empty, you guessed he was sleeping.
you finally made your way to his bedroom, the door was slightly cracked open. you heard noises coming from his room so you decided to stand in the blind spot to listen so you could scare him. but these noises were kinda… lewd? is the only word that could come to your mind. hot sighs leaving his throat and you swore you heard your name being chanted. “f-fuck y/n..” your eyes widening at the words falling from his mouth. you were kinda turned on though, you could just imagine your pretty best friend with his head thrown back rubbing himself thinking of you.
the mere thought made you hot, your heat starting to drip arousal. you had decided to walk in. “sumin i know its early but-“ you said innocently as if you hadnt been listening outside door. your eyes had finally landed on him and oh my god was it a sight to see. cock in hand, lips parted eyes closed, head lolling back. he sat up, quickly pulling his sweats up. “y/n! you’ve ever heard of knocking?” his cheeks red. you took a couple steps forward to him, taking a seat on his bed. “h-how much of that did you see.” stumbling over his words, “enough to know that you want me the same way i want you.” his eyes widening at the sentence, he started stumbling over his words. never did you ever think you could make your best friend with the overly confident ego go crazy over a singular sentence.
he suddenly became that man with the ego again as he grabbed your face planting a kiss on your lips. your hands making their way to his neck deepening the kiss. “fuck y/n you dont understand how bad i’ve wanted you.” he said against your lips. you took that as an opportunity to slip your tongue in his mouth. the two of you fighting over dominance, you eventually letting him win. his tongue skillfully exploring your mouth. you let out a small moan that didnt go unnoticed by sumin. one of his hands go from your face down to your waist and the other going under your shirt to squeeze your breast over your bra.
“sumin..” you moaned longingly against his lips. he pulled away from your lips, a string of saliva connecting your mouths. he instead put his lips on your neck placing wet kisses and hickies wherever he could put his mouth. “god.. always thought you were so innocent. who knew my pretty best friend was such a whore.” he said between heavy breaths. you wanted to retort back so bad but you decided it was better for the two of you to just keep your mouth shut. you did let out a cute whimper at his words though. he let out a little laugh at your whimper, proving his words to be right.
he pulled your shirt over your head and uncliped your bra, getting to work on your breasts. he kneeded one of your boobs as he took the others nipple in his mouth. you letting out soft moans and whimpers. tugging at his green strands that you’d helped him dye not too long ago. “f-fuck sumin feels s’ good.” your words slurring as his hands made their was down your body. mouth detatching from your nipple, leaving kisses down your body. “god you’re so pretty.” he said against your body whilst planting kisses. your whimper to his words driving him crazy. he layed you down from your sitting stature on his bed, yanking down your shorts and panties in one go.
he spread your legs wide just looking “hm, s’ wet for me pretty girl, i think you were watching for longer then you let on, isnt that true.” how did he know, thoughts racing through your mind at a millions miles per second but then they stopped as his finger started spreading your wet folds. your back arched slightly at the sudden sensation letting out a tiny moan. “its okay,” he said standing up to whisper in your ear “i like when you watch.” the lewd mewl you let out at his words. you swore if he kept whispering in your ear like this you could cum untouched. he returned to his place between your legs. his fingers teasing your hole as he lightly circled your clit. “sumin please.” you begged him, he secretly loved watching you twitch because of his touch, he wasnt gonna stop anytime soon but as soon as those pleads left your mouth he couldnt stop himself from giving you what you wanted.
he licked a stripe over your pussy lavishing in your wetness. he put your legs over his shoulders not caring if your crushed his head with your thighs. he secretly wanted you to. his tongue dipped into your heat. you put your hand over your mouth to hide your moans. “dont hide your noises pretty girl. i want to hear all of them.” you moaned at his words. your fingers gripping at the white sheets of sumins bed as he went down on you. thrusting his fingers in and out, sucking on your clit. your back arched against the bed, taking his hair into your hands tugging at the strands. “sumin! f-fuck m’ so close!” he started thrusting his fingers faster. he found the gummy spot of your walls making you moan out in ecstasy. loving the moans he gave you ge hit that spot every time he’d bring his fingers into your cunt. “fuck! m’ cumming! su-min ngh!” you ended up cumming all over his fingers. he pulled them out of you all covered in cum. sumin being himself licked all of it off, not missing a singular spot. “god pretty, you taste so good. couldnt stop myself.”
#xikers smut#xikers x reader#kpop#kpop smut#sumin#sumin x reader#sumin brainrot oh my#i want him so bad#i’d deep throat him#svnnysidez createsఌ
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modern au. geraskier, established relationship. just a little comfort for the bard boy after a miserable day at work.
xoxoxo!!!
❦
geralt looked up from his book when he heard the door click shut and his husband peel off a soaked jacket. shoes were kicked; a bag was dropped; still, jaskier said nothing.
usually, geralt starts hearing his husband’s car radio from the moment it enters their neighbourhood. the quiet is alarming, to say the least, so geralt turns his book over and lays it on the couch, putting his reading glasses on his head.
“jaskier?” he calls trotting into the laundry room, where jaskier is shucking off his sodden work uniform.
“hello, love,” he replies huskily. “it’s raining.”
“it is,” geralt agrees. he turns the dryer back on, peering at the load of towels bouncing around. “why don’t you take a nice shower? warm you up,”
“‘kay,” jaskier acquiesced, slinking into the bathroom. geralt frowned after him.
typically, getting jaskier to shower right after work takes some cajoling, several bribes on both sides, all that.
today, the water turns on without any music to cover the sound, and geralt hears jaskier snuffle to himself before a small, broken sound escapes.
he won’t walk in on his husband crying. he won’t embarrass him when he waited until the shower was on and put on a face for geralt in the laundry room.
that’s what geralt chanted to himself, anyway, while he heaped blankets up on the bed and jogged back into the kitchen.
he took a small container out of the cabinet and double checked the instructions. only a bit of water and a minute in the microwave, and jaskier would have a sweet treat waiting for him in the nest geralt was building.
he gathered some water bottles, a sandwich, and jaskier’s favourite of geralt’s tee shirts that geralt thankfully had to save from the hamper. jaskier didn’t have geralt’s nose, but he could still scent his husband and it tended to calm him down plenty.
til his dying breath, geralt would deny that he rolled around on the nest blankets to make it warm and smell like him, but it was the quickest way and without music or the promise of geralt joining him, jaskier could be done in moments.
when geralt was satisfied that the clean blankets smelled a little more like home, he went to get a warm towel out of the dryer and swaddle his husband up for a trip to the nest.
he found jaskier sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees.
he couldnt say anything that didnt feel too trite, too simple, too shallow, for what that image made his heart do in his chest. he simply got undressed and sat down next to him.
“bad day,” jaskier breathed. geralt, with soft hands and a softer heart, took the spray from the wall and began to wash jaskier’s hair.
jaskier began to cry again, but this time quietly. jaskier hated it when he cried, hated how much he cried, so geralt merely began humming for him while he threaded his fingers through auburn locks to remove the soap.
“i’m an artist, aren’t i?” jaskier finally asked.
“of course,” geralt said, cupping jaskier’s cheek to get him to look him in the eye. “of course you are. one of the best i’ve ever known.”
“i… geralt, i’m working at a fast food joint. i’m getting sandwiches thrown at me by customers, i’m getting barked at by my boss. i haven’t composed in almost a week.”
“you don’t have to always be writing to be an artist,” geralt said, sitting back on his haunches. “am i a witcher?”
“of course,”
“right now? when i’m sitting in the shower with you?”
“… quit it,” jaskier replied, cottoning on to geralt’s meaning and pushing his little head into geralt’s chest.
“i’m a witcher when i wake, and when i go to sleep, and every second in between.”
“that’s different,” jaskier mumbled as best he could with the hot water pouring down the back of his neck. geralt only held him, rocking him back and forth ever so slightly.
“how?”
“being a witcher’s in your blood.”
“and your need to create isn’t?” geralt asked, looking down at his husband with faux surprise. “could have fooled me,”
“…… stop,” jaskier said, and geralt heard him fighting the smile.
“who told you to be an artist, then? was it roach?” jaskier’s shoulders shook a bit and he wormed closer to geralt. “come, love,”
geralt helped him stand and finish his shower, then gently towelled him off and wrapped him up tight, scooping him off his feet.
“you’d think i were a princess,” jaskier murmured sleepily, breath dancing along the column of geralt’s damp throat.
geralt only hummed, knowing the rumble in his chest would bring jaskier even closer to sleep.
“oh,” when geralt set jaskier on the bed and set to getting him into his sleep shirt, jaskier got a look at the nest.
a precious look of wonder captured his features and tears threatened to spill over once more.
“for me?” he asked, lip wobbling dangerously.
“i can… take back the princess cake?” geralt offered, as he was nearly about to hand the treat over.
“you made me a princess cake?” jaskier asked, voice breaking.
“you weren’t singing when you came home,” geralt supplied, still holding the microwave cake. “do you…?”
“yes, please,” jaskier sobbed, making grabby hands at both geralt and the cake. “i’m just overwhelmed-crying, not sad crying,” he said, curling into geralt’s side and allowing himself to be rocked. “oh, i’m ridiculous. my boss got waspish with me because i wasn’t fast enough during lunch rush. he wasn’t even mean! just… snappy.”
“i think you’re just exhausted, love,” geralt offered.
“i slept fine last night,” jaskier said with a mouth full of cake.
“no, not tired. exhausted. you spend all day worrying about burgers and fries, then you spend all evening being upset that you didnt spend all day composing.”
“you’re right,” jaskier said with a frown.
“maybe… maybe you should quit.” geralt said, peering down at jaskier cautiously. “i could stand a few more contracts a week.”
“geralt,” jaskier gasped. “no, we— you— i shouldn’t get to laze around all day while you risk life and limb—“
“look at me,” geralt tipped jaskier’s chin up and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. “if you quit today and sleep for a week, but never, ever come home feeling like you did today ever again… i’d rather fight a wyvern every day.”
“no,” jaskier said, squirming under the intensity of geralt’s veracity.
“every day before lunch, even,” geralt added, trying to add a little levity. “jas, if you’re this miserable, i’ll do anything to make it better for you.”
“what if i call out tomorrow? we could sleep in.”
“i’d even make lambert call out for you.”
“lambert? what would he even say?”
“what does lambert ever say?”
together, laughing, they said, “fuck you, suck my dick!” and flipped each other off.
jaskier sniffed a little once the giggles died down and offered geralt a scoop of his princess cake.
“darling, i love you very much,” geralt said patiently with his mouth full, not willing to swallow the cake. “but this tastes like sawdust.”
“how do you know what sawdust tastes like, huh?” jaskier squawked, swatting at him.
“now that we have all night, let’s make a real cake, hm?”
“alright,” jaskier said, settling the cup on the night stand and pausing to look over his shoulder at his husband. “but we shouldnt let this lovely nest go to waste,”
“oh?” geralt hummed, raising an eyebrow.
“like you said,” jaskier smirked. “we have all night,”
❦
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today was really really bad. was in the middle of cleaning my roommates cat shit off the floor today in preparation for our landlords inspection tomorrow that my roommate never responded about helping out with when my roommate got home from work. and of course she did her usual thing of trying to ignore me and running upstairs but i repeated her name a couple more times til she was forced to acknowledge i was there and when i said 'hey can we please talk for a little bit' she said 'haha no thats okay thanks though!' with a weird mocking tone while not looking in my direction continuing to walk up the stairs
and i started fucking panicking i walked outside for a bit with my gf and couldnt stop myself sobbing and hyperventilating and shaking once we were back inside which my roommate obviously could hear.
and i just didn't have the energy to clean up her mess anymore when i was so emotional right then and kept coming back to wanting to Really Well express my feelings even though i knew it wouldn't amount in anything and she never responds to texts anyway unless she stands to benefit from it
but just so i wouldn't push down and stop feeling my emotions and so i could let out my energy in an effective way i spent the last 2 and a half hours writing this all out
and of course when i went to text it it wouldn't deliver so i'm sure she blocked my number in preparation after that lol. but i also emailed so like whatever
katie —
i acknowledge that texting or emailing a giant wall of text is not really an ideal form of communication. there are some things i have hoped to express for a while, and i don’t want to pile it all on, so i hope despite the format i can do an okay job at expressing my hopes and needs without making this overwhelming to read or anything.
today jacqueline and i spent the whole day cleaning downstairs. as me and jacqueline are hoping to renew our lease here, i have been scared that if the apartment isn’t clean enough for the inspection that was going to be tomorrow (as of an hour ago moved to saturday instead) that we would have no housing in a month from now.
i feel drained in our current living situation. it is upsetting to smell months old moldy dishes in the sink every day, or to find the source of the fly problem in an old fermented cup of coffee full of larvae. but i get that you probably feel similarly, and it wouldn’t be productive to tie up my emotions surrounding that into blame, and i hope i can word things here in a way that makes it clear that i am writing to express my needs and where i am at, and not to simply leave you to handle my emotions or anything.
i have had times of my life where keeping things clean and sanitary has been hard, and even if i don’t know your specific situation, i empathize with that struggle a lot. i know that (beyond of course combatting structural issues in society and health issues that can often contribute to that sort of struggle) the way out of that struggle is in support and help from the people around oneself. we may not know each other that well, but i would like to be able to help in some form.
it isn’t sustainable for me though for the form that that help takes to be for me and jacqueline to deep clean everything every few months once it gets really bad again. i have a physical disability that causes me chronic flare ups of extreme joint and muscle pain. i have been in the middle of a flare up during this week leading up to the inspection, making cleaning a very slow and draining process for me. i’m sure that between being busy with work and any other situations i am not aware of that you clearly have a lot on your plate as well that is making doing stuff like cleaning a struggle too.
obviously there is no ideal solution to stuff like that when all parties involved are struggling and there aren’t enough external resources, but i believe from past experiences that the best thing that can be done to improve the situation as much as possible for all involved is for people to work collaboratively, communicating openly about what they might need help with, lessening the strain on them when the other person is able to do more, reciprocating the same when they can, and finding a compromise to push themselves a little and equitably share the strain when things are hard for both people but stuff still needs to get done.
even if i, for example, do not feel like i am at a point in my life where i have the time and resources to consistently take care of a cat and didn’t expect to have to worry about that responsibility, i would be much happier if you communicated stuff like for example, ‘hey would you be able to scoop her litterbox this week, things are really busy right now and i’m struggling with doing it myself’ as opposed to the current situation where it technically isn’t my responsibility, but it still needs to get done and i’m not sure if it will happen. i want to help you and kitty, and having stuff like that explicitly communicated would make things a lot easier for me.
i get that it is hard to communicate, especially when you’re in a bad situation, and i know i have been awkward in my communication as well, but no matter how hard it is i think it is still crucial for fostering a healthy environment where none of us feel too burnt out.
the same applies to a lot of other situations. if you are struggling with having the resources needed to get enough food for whatever reason, i want to be able to help you out, and if you ask i’d be happy to give you any food you want, no further questions asked. i also love to cook and share meals with people. but i feel upset when i allow myself in my budget one snack to look forward to, only to see it gone with no notice, or when my mom bought me a snack box when i was going through a hard time, only to find it empty out on the deck. what is important to me in these types of situation is the communication, i would be happy to share stuff if you asked.
i would really like if we could be more communicative with each other in our last month living together. while i totally respect if you wouldn’t want to, and its not at all in my expectations for what our household dynamic should be, i also would be happy to maybe even have movie nights and stuff like we talked about when we first moved in together. while there’s other small things that have built up that would be nice if they were resolved but i totally respect if they can’t be (ex. if by any chance you didn’t throw out me and jacqueline’s dishes that were on the deck i would love to have them back so i can wash them and use them again, or if you have the money to, our electric bills every month have been over the $70 you pay for electricity and its been a bit tight for me and jacqueline to pay your remaining portion of electricity after subtracting for the wifi if you can afford to compensate us) but the only thing i really want out of this last month is for us all to be able to equitably share the work of keeping the house sanitary and the cat healthy, and for there to be communication whenever you might need extra help, and then i would be happy to do it. please of course let me know anything i can improve on as a roommate too, i want you to have a good environment to live in too.
i know every sentiment i wrote out here jacqueline also shares too.
thank you for reading,
chiara
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5/22/24 11:48
I've been thinking a lot lately on forgiving my mom for the past. it's always a rollercoaster with us, archies family of course loved her when they met her and could only talk about how sweet and funny she was. They dont get it though, they dont get why i chose to stop speaking to her. Imagine this, dad got arrested when i was 12, being put in a cop car in the middle of the night, taken to a group home til they found a foster home for me.. in which i stayed for 3 months all because my mom abondoned me and moved on and had another kid with a new husband. The court had to search for her. its laughable really, the gov had to go out searching for her so she could come back into my life. I was forced to move to florida to be with her and yet she couldnt understand my coldness towards her. She was a stranger to me and i pretty much left all i knew in california. They think its fine because i still choose to put a smile around everyone and not bring the mood down. Noone knows i was in a foster home or the whole story because theres no point, i dont want sympathy i just want to move on from it all. They dont get it. They dont see the late nights i cried remembering my mom screaming things at me like "i wish you were never born" and "you're the reason im sick all the time" or the time i cried to her because my ex was being abusive for the first time and she rolled her eyes and told me to just deal with it as if i deserved it. I will never be like that with my kids, my hearts too big for that. That generational curse will end with me. Its crazy to think that after all that ive tried so hard to keep a relationship and apologize even when i know i didnt do anything wrong, all because "its the culture, kids always should be the ones to apologize" fuck that. im so over it, but noone will ever understand because i choose not to tell anyone the whole story, i still protect her in that way i guess. Archie will never understand, his parents would take a bullet for him, i also dont want to burden my friends with any of this because i dont want to bring the mood down. Writing down what has always goes on in my head helps alot though. Thats enough venting for me today, i dont feel like crying tonight.
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my experience with sending a letter to my dr
dr: marvel
last summer, i was feeling really discouraged with shifting. my mental health was really bad, and i barely had motivation. i wanted to shift so bad, but i could never bring myself to do it because of how exhausted i was.
i was on tiktok one day, and saw a tiktoker talking about how they were sending a letter to their s/o in their dr, and i decided to try it.
i don't remember what the letter said word for word, but i just poured my heart out to bucky and explained how i couldn't wait to come back and cuddle with him, and for him and i to visit with his sister again because she always makes me feel better.
i asked him for a sign. but here's the thing, i never specified what sign, just that i would know the sign when i saw it.
a few weeks later, i was on tiktok again, and saw someone writing letters from marvel characters. i was going to scroll past it, but something told me to watch it. i watched it, and the tiktoker revealed that they sold the letters, so i decided to see how much they were.
they were $5. with shipping, it was around $8. i decided to buy it, and didn't think of it too much, but i was excited to see what it would say.
i got the letter a few weeks later, and let me tell you, i cried when i read it.
this is what the letter said:
'dearest ava,
it feels like a lifetime, and i should have written you a thousand letters but i hope this one is enough. how are you?
i think of you and i feel joy. the past no longer haunts me in ways it sed to so please do not worry about me. i am peachy and there is peach in knowing my life will forever be wrapped up in yours. my only wish is that you find a taste of happiness that you have brought me, that even on your worst days you remember what it means to love, truly.
i told steve you were made for great things. after all, you did save my life once. if only he could see you now, the way you shine, he would be as proud as i am.
so take it easy, doll. this is not the end of the line for us. til we meet again.
yours, always,
bucky <3
take care, we miss you - sam
ps. sorry about sam, he ruins everything.'
while it's a sweet letter, the thing that stood out to me was the phrase "i am peachy."
ive spoken about this, but have never gone into detail. but in my dr, bucky is autistic. with the serum, and his past traumas, he has meltdowns quite often, and after his meltdowns, he needs comfort. we usually spend time sitting together, him wrapped up in my arms, and me telling him how much i love him and validating his feelings.
when we started dating, i used to tease him and call his ass a peach, because it was so cute and small. he hated it, but it made us laugh.
after one of his more rough ones (triggered by steve being mentioned to him by j*hn when bucky was having a bad day already), he was trying to climb into my lap, and wsa getting frustrated when he couldnt fit. he was completely non verbal and was sobbing.
i dont know why i said it, but i started rubbing his back and said "it's okay, my peach. i've got you'. as soon as i said it, he calmed down, and now i call him my peach or my peachy bug whenever he's upset.
the interesting thing about this is that when we're in public or around others and he's upset or overstimulated and needs to go home, he will say "i am feeling peachy" and its a code word for us.
as soon as i read that part, i knew that this was my sign from him, and that i needed to go back.
it motivated me so much, and sure enough, the morning after i arrived there, he had one of the worst meltdowns i'd ever seen.
the universe is so crazy, and shifting is amazing <3
#shifting community#shifting realities#ava's a shifter#shifting#shifting help#shifting to my dr#bucky angst#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky x female reader
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✨lie down darling it's time for a dream✨
3rd gym squad with deaf S/O
This squad needs more love they are all adorable babies maybe I'll do a poly story with them later
This story contains: talks of bullying, wholesomeness, just soft warm stuff with a hint of angst
Akaashi keiji
He makes sure everyone knows that you're deaf if they ever want to talk to you
He is always respectful and makes sure to never scare you by randomly touching you
He knows a little sign language but you two mostly write or text each other
He loves to kiss you on your ears and neck
He actually loves to hear you laugh
You always say you have a weird laugh but he doesnt agree
He likes to hold your hand when you two are out in public
He doesn't really like to baby you though since he knows you are capable of being independent
But please rely on him if you need to
If you ever get stressed or anything he is the type to pull you away from the situation and comfort you
You and keiji were on a date getting crepes, you got banana and he got strawberry but you would often take bites out of each others, keiji leaned forward taking a bite of your crepe and getting whip cream on his nose which made you laugh
Your loud laugh made him smile but he glanced around seeing people stare at you, he hoped you didnt notice but dadly you did and quickly covered your mouth with your hand now overthinking and tears started to brim in your eyes but you jumped when you felt a soft hand on yours.
You looked up and saw keiji texting on his phone so you pulled out yours to see what exactly he wanted to say.
"let's take our crepes to go and take a walk? I love you."
You looked up only to see the male softly smiling at you before you gave a happy nod. You two decided to walk around the park hands held tightly as Akaashi talked to you about volleyball making sure to talk slow enough for you to read his lips.
Bokuto koutaro
He had no idea when you two first went out
He is always showing you off like a trophy though
"MY BABY IS THE CUTEST THING EVER! LOOK AT THEM!"
Even though you cant hear him he is still super loud around you
He sometimes forgets you are deaf so when you stare blankly after he just ranted for ten minutes awaiting your response he realizes that he spoke way too fast for you
You somehow taught him sign language but you two also created your own special symbols that only you two know
If you use the symbol during a game he is going to be super pumped
the others drag you to him if he is in emo mode
He likes your voice
He knows talking is hard but he just wants to hear you say his name
With a lot of speech therapy you fulfilled his wish and he knew right there that he wanted to marry you
It was an off day for him, he wasn't playing as well as he nirnally was and that was cause you were late to his match. Every second he got he would searched the crowd for you and miss the ball.
The team lost the first set and something needed to change before they lost the game, as bokuto sat on the bench drinking water he couldnt help but think of you.
Luckily akaashi had your number and just before bokuto was about to get back to the game he heard the doors swing open and his name called
"KOUTARO!"
His eyes landed on you who was rushing to him while panting, his entire body froze as he watched you and his ears were ringing as tears rolled down his now red face. He thought he was dreaming but you did it again when you nearly tacked him in a hug
"koutaro! M' sorry!"
Bokuto shakily wrapped his arms around you tightly now peppering kisses all over your head and face when you looked at him.
"you- you said my name! Ah! You're here! Did you run here you look so tired! Did you come to see me win? Haha I can't lose now can I?"
Bokuto was so excited and rambling so you simply yanked him down to your level before selling your lips against his.
That definitely perked him up and before you knew it the male was energized and ready to win the game.
His lucky charm was hear after all
Kuroo testuro
He is pretty goofy with you
He loves physical touches to let you know he loves you
Honestly he is the type to pull your cheeks and watch you whine about it
He likes to playfully tease you by calling you his little mouse
He is also a fan of ear kisses
Always kisses your ears or licking your ear lobes
If you aren't paying attention to him or zoned out that's how he gets your attention
He makes sure you are taken care of though
If anyone was to bully you he would definitely get pissed
He likes dates at home where you two just watch tv
Always makes sure subtitles are on no matter what
Knows a little bit of sign language just small stuff
You two mostly use your ability to read lips
He likes when you watch him practice and tends to work extra hard
Please say his name
He doesn't care what you sound like he just wants you to say his name or laugh with him
Your laugh makes him grin so much
He likes your cute little whines and whimpers the most
He is a teasing demon
"what's wrong little mouse? You look so red and flushed"
Kuroo made sure to talk slow so you can clearly read each and every word, you sat in his lap facing him while he waited for the others to come into the gym for practice.
He normally isn't one to show up early but he wanted alone time with you, with a shaky breath a small whimper escaped you as the male leaned forward trailing his tongue along your ear now running his fingers along your waist under your shirt.
"you can't hear me, but I love you so much"
His breath on your ears gave you shivers before you slowly trailed your hands along his chest under his shirt. He was going to kiss you but the sounds of the gym doors sliding open startled him and he pulled back now simply pressing you close to his chest.
You glanced and saw yaku and lev walk in which made you jump lightly and gripped kuroo's jacket lightly before looking up at him as he simply kissed your head.
"yeah I know, we can play later for now me a good mouse and watch your kitty cat practice" as he lifted you off his lap and onto the bench he couldn't help but feel annoyance as more members walked into the gym..damn it those cockblockers.
Tsukishima kei
He pretends he's not over protective but he is
No one is allowed to get a foot close to you unless they want to get the death glare
You are to hold his hand wherever you two go
He made a playlist for you and made sure all the songs had a loud bass so you can feel the vibrations against your ears
He loves listening to music with you and usually uses a speaker so you can touch it and feel it
He does pick on you but only he can do that
If he needs something and you aren't looking at him he will touch your hand or reach to touch your face
"oi, look at me more idiot. How are you supposed to know what I'm saying if you don't?"
He likes to make you wear his jacket all the time so everyone knows who you belong to
Any bullies you get will be dealt with
He loves to kiss all over your face when you two are alone
Mostly cause it makes you laugh
Will use sign language with you if he wants to say something embarrassingly sweet infront of people
Your body in his jacket made his heart swell, you decided to join him during practice and watch him, this only made him more determined to impress you though he wouldn't admit that fact. He was pretty busy with practice that he didn't quite notice strangers walking into the gym.
They were probably going to watch the game as well, so when tsukishima did see them walk in he didn't pay it much mind. Before he knew it they were sitting next to you, one on either side of you.
"so, you watching a friend play?"
"maybe a boyfriend?"
Of course you didn't hear them and they just thought you were being rude so one of them roughly tapped your shoulder earning your attention.
You tried to watch his lips move but he was talking to fast, when you started to use sign language that's when it all went to hell.
"oi! You deaf or something?! So you can't hear anything I said! That's rude as hell! Shouldn't you be wearing a special sign that says so?!"
The two started to bother you now pushing you around and it didn't take lone til one of them pushed you off the bench and started to make you cry.
Your panicked sobs echoed in tsukishima's ears before he walked over like an angry bull, all he could see was red and he wasn't afraid to get into a fight.
"hey! The hell do you think your doing?! Leave them the hell alone!"
Tsukishima's tall height scared the bullies away and the blonde quickly scooped you into his arms now looking at your face, he noticed a bruise from when you were shoved.
"damn it, those assholes. Hey look at me! You okay?"
You gave a small nod before tsukishima simply carried you into his arms feeling you wrap your legs around him.
"I'm leaving practice."
With that he walked to the locker room to get changed and get his things with you never leaving his side.
He made sure to be more aware of you and those around you, you were so fragile and small and he didn't want to see you get hurt.
Hinata shoyo
He is willing to fight for you
Like a tiny bodyguard
Loves to hear you talk even if you don't like it
Is willing to learn sign for you
But he is dumb so he mixes up signs
He would rather just talk slowly or write
Gets all serious when someone picks on you
He loves to mouth out super cute things
Kisses all over for days
Please come watch him play
Will try and ask daichi for a time out if you show up late to his match
He needs to kiss you!
S I M P
He doesn't have money but he will give you anything you want
Hinata laughs as you straddled him now tickling his sides, it was supposed to be a netflix date but it quickly turned into a tickling match. Hinata was quickly losing this battle but was having fun anyways, he suddenly flipped you over and pinned your hands above your head not realizing how suggestive this looks
"ah...hah..not funny, my stomach hurts now"
As he looked down at you he found himself staring into your eyes a blush forming on his cheeks. You always looked so cute to him, a cute angel that made his insides tingle.
"you're, so cute."
He couldn't help but laugh at your red face and he released your hands only for you to sit up and hold his face in your hands
"shoyo..cute..too"
Those three words made him jolt and before you know it he buried his face in your neck squealing and holding you close. You can feel his pounding heartbeat against your own and simply smiled
Lev haiba
Okay so for the first month of your relationship he just thought you were a mute
Poor fool thought everytime you didn't respond in some way meant you were mad at him
After crying to yaku who explained that you were deaf he ended up apologizing to you
He still forgets that you are deaf a lot
He likes it when you cling to his clothes when you both are in a crowd
He tries not to talk too fast but sometimes you have to tug him by his shirt to tell him to slow down
Can't sign to save his life
He often used really dramatic gestures to get you to understand at times
He doesn't mean to offend he's just nervous and doesn't know what to say
He loves you to death
Also a S I M P
You want a snack? Write it down he got you
Want his jacket? Oh he's taking it off as we speak
Need him to carry you? Of course he will!
He doesn't like fighting so with bullies he just presents his height and they normally back off
He is a jealous boy though cause kenma and you sign all the time
Lev watched with a pout as kenma moved his hands fluently signing to you, lev couldn't get the grasp of it but kenma learned fast. This bugged lev since his worst thought was that kenma would steal you away from him!
"it's no fair! He has better hair than me!"
His complaining was cut short by yaku who kicked the Russian in the leg, this made lev fall and he let out a pained groan
"yakuuuuu I can't practice right now my partner is being stolen by kenma!"
"idiot! They are obviously hanging around him cause it's easier to talk to kenma than it is you"
This made lev look to you and he soon came up with an idea. He rushed over to you and kenma before softly grabbing your hand.
This made you jump and you looked over in confusion before smiling softly at his joyful expression.
"I know I tend to talk too fast sometimes, but please don't replace me with kenma! I love you so so much!"
He talked slowly making sure you get every single word and he was shocked to hear your laughter, he glanced over at kenma who now walked away not wanting to ruin whatever moment was happening.
"why you laughing?"
You took out a notepad and a pen before starting to write before handing it to him
As he read what you said his heart started to swell.
"silly! I'm not replacing you with kenma! I love you! More than anything!"
He couldn't help but hug you tightly kissing your face over and over again.
"I love you too! You love me too even if I can't sign! Or even if I mess up? Ahhh! I love you so much! Marry me [y/n]!"
You weren't quite sure what he was saying but you knew he was happy and that made you happy.
#haikyuu imagines#kuroo testuro#bokuto koutaro#akaashi keiji#hinata shoyo#lev haiba#haikyuu headcanons#tsukishima kei
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For the yandere with a foreign darling asks; I think it would be entertaining if the reader knew a second language that was similar to Japanese but was slightly off (like how Chinese and Japanese have a similar writing system [kanji] but still have enough differences to have a confusing language barrier if one tries to communicate between the two languages). Could you imagine a reader with intermediary Mandarin Chinese skills attempting to communicate to their yandere (maybe Dabi? Enji in this case could be even more of a nightmare ^~^;) in Japan? I can see so many moments of misunderstandings (´∀｀*) [sorry for rambling]
hello? can you understand me?
hawks x reader
warning: yandere, kidnapping, and Stockholm syndrome
A/N: Okay, so i know you requested for enji...but...I've never written for him and I don't have much confidence in it ^^; I'm sorry..but did write it for hawks! ( if you don't want hawks and just wanted enji tell me, ill try my best to write for him. I just need to read more stuff to get to know his personality)
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Your parents were very upset, crying and sobbing. They didn't want their baby to fly north east to japan. They wanted you to stay in Taiwan with them. It almost made you take pity and stay, but you couldn't. You had to go to japan, They had the best pro heroes and you wanted a job at one of their companies. Endeavor’s was the one you mainly wanted to get into; He’s your favorite pro hero so it makes sense. Though you aren't fluent in Japanese, you only knew the basics. You were kind of hoping your boss would speak English or Chinese and you can learn more Japanese later.
“拜托妈妈，我得走了...” you start prying your mother off of your arm.
“没有亲爱的！请不要走！” Your mother snaps back. “日本有很多平民！它不安全！”
“妈妈，那真是愚蠢。我会没事的。我有一个足够强大的怪癖来保护自己。” You reassure your mom. Your quirk is Reality Dream basically if you dream it it will be real.
You made it to Japan, You got a job at Endeavors company! He luckily spoke english so you didn't need to learn it right away. But there was always one person who caught your eye, hawks. He just kept staring at you constantly! He wouldn't start a conversation with you, And you swear that you saw his crimson wings in an alleyway near your house. But you always thought that your mom's words were making you paranoid. So you just brush it off and go to sleep.
Until you wake up in a room that's not your own. You are so confused and try to move, but you can't. You look down and see that your ankle is chained to the bed and on your wrists are quirk canceling handcuffs. You start getting scared and start struggling to try to get loose, but all you do is wear yourself out.
You hear footsteps of boots and try looking around for some way to get out. Then the footsteps stop, you look at the door to the room. You see the door slowly open and you squeeze your eyes shut. “私の赤ちゃんの鳥が目を覚ましているのがわかります！” the guy says cooing.
Huh? Oh yeah, you're in japan..of course they're gonna speak japanese. “请让我走！” you don't know why you started speaking chinese, you shouldve said it in english! You had more luck talking in english here then chinese, but youre so scared to remember any english.
“え？申し訳ありませんが、赤ちゃんの鳥、わかりません。” he says walking closer to you, you can tell by the footsteps coming towards you. “请住手！不要靠近！” you start panicking. The man can tell and wraps what feels like wings around you? “ そうそう、私の赤ちゃんの鳥はオフィスの周りで英語を話します！よくわかりませんが、試すことができます。” The man starts talking to himself. You start struggling more with your eyes still closed.
Then you hear the man shush you and say “calm.” he must mean to calm down right? You stop moving around, too scared for what would happen if you didn't listen. “Open eyes.” You shake your head, you dont wanna see who this is. “Yes.” you continue shaking your head. “Now.” the man yanks your hair and you let out a yelp and open your eyes. Your eyes widen at the man in front of you. “Hawks?!” you say confused and mad.
His eyes widened like he had an idea. He grabs his phone out of his pocket and clicks on an app. He types stuff on it and english comes out. “It's okay baby bird, you're safe! You're safe here with me forever!” hawks gave you a smile, but the only thing you can think about is the words “forever”.
No...you didnt want that!
You've lived with hawks for a while now. hawks learned more english and also chinese so he knew you couldnt talk bad behind his back. only bad girls did that. At first you kept looking for a way out, but saw none. With the chain on your ankle and the handcuffs. He always kept multiple locks on each door that lead outside and on the windows, and not to mention hawks is known for being the fastest pro hero. Even if you did escape it wouldn't be long til he found you. You don't remember when you gave up with the idea of escape, but you did at some point. There was no way out.
Hawks realized that and he took the chain off your ankle and the handcuffs, but kept a collar on you that had his name on it but also was quirk canceling. Most days when hawks left you just sat around reading or watching the movies he let you watch, but everytime he got home you were always ecstatic to see him and hug him. Did you get Stockholm syndrome?
Anytime you did something wrong he would punish you. He’d either fuck you into submission or he’d lock you up in the chains again. But when you were a good little bird, he'd let you go outside! You had to be with him and no one could be around, so you would have hawks fly you around in the sky, go on a late night walk, or go to a park that no one has been to in years.
Maybe this wasn't so bad..? I mean you're with your one true love and he wont let anything hurt you! right..?
#mha#bnha#hawks x oc#yandere hawks#mha hawks#yandere keigo takami#bnha keigo#keigo x reader#keigo x you#keigo x oc#keigo x y/n#hawks x listener#hawks x reader#yandere
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Primed for Sin (3/10)
SUMMARY: Arthur 'accidently' bumps into Elena while getting her mail. She's surprised and delighted when the mysterious man offers to take her out on a date. While she goes about her day, she doesn't realize she's in the company of Arthur as well. Maybe it was a good thing too when three men walked onto the subway and approached his lady.
WARNING: Assult, attempted RAPE, murder.
No smut this chapter but next chapter will be dirtier.
Primed for Sin part 2
Arthur seriously couldn't control his thinking. He swore there was something else in his head. Thoughts would pop into his head at an incredible speed that he wouldn't even be able to keep up with them. He just wish he could be with her but as each day passed on, his hope was beginning to die.
So he decided it was time to push. He wanted his love story with her to be organic and special, not forced. It reminded him of all the old romantic movies his mom would make him watch when he was a kid.
He decided he would wait til she had to get her mail. She would get it every day on her way back from work. He would bump into her there. He had grabbed a toy percy train to give to Michael, hoping it would earn brownie points with the boy. Then hoping to ask Elena out on a date, not looking forward to the anxiety and laughing attacks that would probably follow but it was worth it.
He waited til she had gotten off of work, watched her pick up Michael and pick up some carry out before they both head back to the apartment building. Arthur followed in pursuit as he waited for his time to make his entrance.
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Elena fondled with her keys and held a bag of food. Her feet hurt from walking around all day. All she wanted was to lay down on the couch and watch Thomas was Michael, as childish as that sounds.
Elena let out a groan when her keys fell to the floor. Stopping to contemplate her life decisions, she stared at the floor where the keys had landed. Looking over to Michael who had his big brown eyes set on her reaction.
"Today is just not our day is it little one." She offered him a smile. Michael too smiled back up at her as he squeezed her leg.
They were interrupted by a gentleman clearing his throat, with the keys in hand. A forced smile on his face. "Looking for these?"
Elena stood there shocked, not expecting the same man from the elevator to be extending his arm to her. She finally snapped out of it as she grabbed the keys from his hands.
She notice his hands were bony and bruised. She wondered why they would look so beat up. She could feel herself wanting to care for his beautiful hands.
"Thank you sir." She put her hand back to her side. She could feel Michael leaning into her from behind.
The mans smile disappeared as he too place his hands down. "Please c-call me A-Arthur." He shuddered, almost forcing the words out. She could see his hands tighten into a fist.
She just simply nodded her head, "Arthur, I like that name. I'm Elena and this," her eyes focused on the little boy hiding behind her pant leg, "is Michael." She placed her hand on the little boys head as a way to comfort the boy. She could tell he was tired and would want his food soon.
She turned her attention back to Arthur who was now holding the toy train Percy in his hands. He extended it out to the boy.
"I-i was so touched by your gesture the other day that I thought you would like this. His names Percy right?" He extended his arm out once again. Only this time towards the boy.
The boy seemed hesitant. Looking up at his big sister for permission. She smiled down at him and with a simple nod, he ran up to the man to snatch the toy out of his hands.
"Yep." Michael uttered. "He the color green so he's different from Thomas. Thomas is the color blue." He began to ramble on about the random facts about the train tv show.
Elena knew he would go on all night if she didn't save Arthur from such torture. She quickly picked up the boy, placing him in her protective arms. Rustling with her keys once again, she was able to get it inside the lock and open the mail box. She continued to talk to the man.
"What do you say Michael?" The boy eyes grew wide before profusely thanking him for giving him his new toy. She was glad to see a smile was spread across Arthurs face. A genuine one too.
Not wanting to really leave but knowing she had to, she bid him farwell and began to walk past the man. He was able to get in between her and the door.
She took a step back. She wasn't frightening, just surprised. "I-i'm sorry. I-i'm really bad at these kinds of things. Y-you're really pretty and I-i was hoping that you would... well I was wondering if you would want to ... maybe... come out and see my comedy show?"
As difficult as it must have been for him to get those words out, Elena couldn't help but think it was extremely cute the way he would get so nervous around her. It made her feel something he didn't even realize she lacked.
Arthur waited patiently for Elenas answer and his excited grew when a smile stretched across her sweet face and she let out a little giggle.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, it's just been a while since anyone has asked me out. The only time actually." She let out a nervous laugh as she felt like a loser letting herself reveal too much of her innocence. "I didn't know you were a comedian but I would love to come see a show."
She looked down at her purse as she started to push objects around. Finding a piece of paper and a pen, she began writing down numbers. "Here's my number. Just give me a call and let me know when you have a show."
She handed the piece of paper over to Arthur with a shy smile. He whispered ' thank you' as he took the slip from her.
He watched her as she looked at the floor then back up at him, only using her eyes and never moving her head. They stood there for a moment, just taking in everything before Elena broke the silence.
"Well I hope to hear from you Arthur. Have a good night." She whispered sweetly as she walked past him. She slightly brushed against his shoulder while doing so and not ok accident. She couldn't help the undeniable attraction she had towards him but she would just have to wait and see what just exactly the future had in store for the both of them.
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It was the next day. Elena and Michael had gone about their business as usual. Working as a bartender for a few hours before she started to head home after her night shift. Even with all this activity going on, she still couldn't get her mind off Arthur.
She wondered when he would call. In a few hours? A few day?
God i hate waiting. She notioned.
She was completely lost in thought as walked onto the subway train as she made her way to pick up Michael. She was forced out of her thoughts when she saw three men sat at the end of the cart laughing drunkly to eachother. Luckly not paying any attention to her.
What she didn't notice was the footsteps that had been following her since she had left. Arthur had to make sure his perfect girl got home safe. He didn't even have to follow far behind as the girl was lost in her own head and not paying attention to her surroundings.
Arthur took a seat a few rows down from Elena. Just far enough to be out of eyes reach but close enough to keep an eye on her.
He grabbed his journal out and held it up so if she looked in his direction, he would have something to cover his face. He also had a clown mask he stole from work, just in case. He couldn't take any chances.
Elena became lost in her thoughts once again after sitting down in the middle of the train cart. She focused on how blue Arthurs eyes were. They looked like the ocean water. She swear she could just get lost in them.
She continued this thought pattern as the three drunk men started to make their way towards the distracted girl. She only looked up when she felt a hand on her knee.
"Hey baby. What are you doing here all alone?" One of the men spoke. Elena could already smell the liquor coming off his breath. He leaned over the chair as he squeezed he leg.
Out of instinct, Elena pushed the mans hand away. "Get off me."
She could feel her panic starting to rise. She was now surrounded by three men. All who seemed to be wealthy as they were dressed up in expensive clothing for some event.
Arthur panicked as he saw the three men surrounding her. He couldn't forget the horror that laid across her face. Anger brewed inside him just from that alone.
Without even thinking, Arthur jumped into action. Reaching down to his bag and grabbing the clown mask as well as the already loaded gun Randall had given him just days ago.
Arthurs terror, the three men had started grabbing at the defenseless girl. She struggled against them with all her might but still couldn't get out of their hold.
BANG!
The sudden load noise pierced her ears as she thought fire crackers were going off. She struggled again enough for the men to let go over her arms. She immediately put her hands to her ears in an attempt to block them from the loud piercing shots that continued to ring across the train.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
Elena squeezed her eyes shut, trying to disappear all together. Her ears rang. She couldnt stop her body from beginning to shake as the shots stopped.
She no longer felt any hands on her. She slowly opened her eyes. Seeing shitty light flickering, smoke coming from one side of the train. She nearly screamed when she looked down to see the three men who had just a few moments ago tried assaulting her now laying on the floor in a pool of their blood. She could see the gunshot wounds scattered across the men's bodies.
Elena began to feel her stomach turn. She couldn't look at it anymore yet she couldn't turn away. Her breathing started to quicken. Not being able to control her breathing. She couldn't even comprehend what she was feeling let alone what had just happened.
Clinking noises turned her attention to the clown with the gun looking wildly at her. To her surprise he didn't move. He just stood there with the gun pointed at the dead men on the floor. They seemed to stare at eachother for what seemed to be an eternity.
Elena tried taking in his feature but she couldn't even remember what she was thinking. Eventually he forced himself to quickly turn around and grab his book bag before darting out the door, leaving Elena in a state of disarray and a pool of blood.
After a few minutes of just trying to focus on her breathing, she was able to get up on her shaky legs and walk outside the train cart doors. Luckily the train hadn't even left the station.
She looked for the man in the clown mask but saw no one. After searching with no success she glanced back into the train cart to see a brown rectangle shape sitting on the seat in one of the rows. She wondered if this was were the clown had sat.
Walking up to the object, she could now see it was a journal. Picking it up she examined its binding before she flipped to the first page, seeing the name of the man responsible for practically saving her life. Arthur Fleck.
#arthur fleck x you#arthur fleck x female reader#arthur fleck x reader#arthur fleck x y/n#arthur fleck#joker
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Secret Voight S2 Part 9 Finale
Summary: The team finally knows that Y/N is Voight's daughter. One secret is out but theres still one secret that's not out. Y/N and Jay's relationship. Will that stay a secret or not? I mean Voight always finds out about things, right?
Words: 3232
Requested: yes
Prompts: no
Warnings or A/N: This was a pain in the ass to write with writer's block and getting hit with the bad case of a Sinus infection. I apologize as this isnt the best. I hope you guys enjoyed Secret Voight. It had became longer than I orignally wanted but I had fun writing it.
By the time, Jay got home you had already took a shower and put on one of his shirt that was bigger on you. You were scrolling through your phone on the couch when you heard the knob twisting open, you turned your head and wa Jay walking in. "Hey baby,"
You got off the couch and walked over to him and kissed him. "Hi,"
He moved his arms around your waist and pulled you in for another kiss. When you pulled apart, he smiled at you. You smiled back.
"Where were you?"
"Visiting a friend,"
You nodded and lead him over to the couch. "You mind telling me who this friend is?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I was visiting Ben's grave,"
You weren't sure what to say so you didnt say anything. It was a few minutes of not talking until Jay broke the silence. "I think its time,"
"Time? Time for what?"
"Time to tell Voight,"
You looked at him. "Are you sure?"
He was silent again for a few seconds. "When I was at Ben's grave, it got me thinking that life is too short and anything and anyone can take your life and I dont want to spend anymore time hiding that I love you,"
Your mouth dropped, this was the first time you heard Jay say this. You felt like you could cry, you felt you heart beating. You felt butterflies fluttering all throughout your stomach. You felt all the good emotions all at once. "I love you too. Let's tell him tomorrow,"
He nodded and smiled. You moved closer to Jay and straddled him.
---
You and Jay acted like normal when you arrive at the precinct, you two had decided to tell him at the end of the day when everyone else had left. You would occasionally give him a smile and he would do the same to you. You don't know about Jay was feeling but since he was freaking out about Voight finding out a week ago, you knew he was freaking out inside and so were you.
You had just looked up from your computer and you saw Jay walking into the break room, so you got up from your desk and walked in after him. You walked over to the coffee pot and poured you some coffee. "Are you sure you want to do this today?"
Jay doesn't hesitate to answer you. "Yes, I'm ready not to keep this a secret anymore,"
You heard footsteps walk into Intelligence and then Ruzek's walked in. "We got a case,"
You nodded and put your mug in the sink and walked out to the lobby as Voight was taping a picture to the board. He turned around and looked at all of you then pointed at the board. "This is Raven Jenkins, 18. Jake Harding. 19 They were found murdered in an alleyway,"
You noticed a file on your desk, you grabbed it and started reading it. "They also had a strain of a substance that is unknown in their system?"
Voight nodded. "Yes, when the did tests they found a substance in their stomach that they dont know what it is. The same substance in both stomachs. They also found a bag with a rat on it. They think it is a bad batch of coke but they arent for sure whats all in it, they will call me when they find something out. Reach out to your C.Is,"
You knew exactly who to talk to
--
"Come on, James. I know you know something considering this happened on your block,"
You have had this C.I since you first moved back to Chicago and you worked for the other precinct. James looked like he didn't know what you were talking about. You got him on a minor drug case. "Just cause it happened on my block doesnt mean I know what happened,"
You rolled your eyes. "You dont know what happened. Bullshit, what was it that you told me the first time I arrested you? Oh yeah, 'this is my block and I know everything that goes down on it,' or are you scared of this new player?"
He just looked at you and shrugged.
You werent having this. "You want to play this way, fine,"
You walked over to his car and looked in the window and saw a bag of white powder on his floorboard. You reached for his door handle and opened the car. You picked up the bag, opened and smelled it. "Jay,"
Jay walked over to you and he smelled it as well. "Coke,"
"Either, you can be straight with me or I can arrest you for this. You choice,"
James looked at the bag in your hand then back to you. "Alright fine, I truly dont know much, honestly. There keeping this secret. The name Darin Wentz has been thrown around,"
"Is he the supplier or is he the one selling it?"
"I dont know. Ive just heard the name, its been hush hush. But I think the seller,"
You reached in your pocket and hand him some money and walked up to him. "Next time I catch you with drugs, I will lock your ass up and make sure they throw away the key got it,"
Jay looked at him. He held up the bag. "We'll be taking this,"
---
You walked up to the board and taped a picture up "This is Darin Wentz,"
Jay walked up to the board and pointed at him. "He was multiple charges including drug possession, selling it, armed robbery, assault, battery, you think it, hes done it,"
Kim walked up to the board and tapped another picture and it looked like it was from a pod camera. "Okay so me and Ruzek went through pod footage and we saw the murder. It was a drug deal gone bad. But towards the end of the video, theres this,"
She tapped another picture on the board and it show what looked like was a female arm with a tattoo on the wrist and it was your name. Every one turned and looked at you. "I don't know why you guys are looking at me for. I don't know anyone with a tattoo like that,"
But in reality, that tattoo does look familiar. "My name is common,"
Voight walked up to the front of the room. "Do we have an address for this Darin Wentz guy?"
You walked back over to your desk and picked up the file and read it. "Yes, 2354 west point,"
Voight nodded. "Alright suit up! We leaving as soon as we get the warrant,"
---
The team was all a little ways down the street, almost ready to hit the house. "Halstead and Dawson I want you to hit the door. Burgess, Ruzek, Atwater I want you in the back. Y/N, you go in after to clear the rest of the house. Got it?"
"Yes sir,"
The guys quietly walked up to the door, Jay grabbed the doorknob but it was locked and Jay kicked the door down and as soon as they went in, you went in after them. Check room after room with Voight. You heard a few shots but not many. "Boss, living room,"
You had just finished checking the last of the room when Dawson said that, you put your gun back in its holster and walked towards the living room. The team was surrounding something but you couldnt see who or what it was. Voight saw you trying to push through but stopped you. "Y/N. Don't. Wait,"
You gave your dad a confused look but pushed past him and the rest of the team and once you saw who was sitting on the couch, it was as it someone punch all the air out of your body. You felt yourself stumble but sturdy hands steady you.
The person on the couch was your dead mother alive. "Y/N,"
You felt tears wailing up as well as you couldnt breathe, you pushed whosoever hands were holding you steady and ran out the door. You walked over to Jay's truck and slid down on the ground. You closed your eyes tightly, trying to not let the tears fall.
How is she alive? Did your grandma live to you? All these years, she was alive and she didn't try to contact you but yet has your name tatted on her wrist?
You jumped at the feeling of someone's hand on your shoulder, you opened your eyes up and saw that it was Jay. At this point, you didn't care what Voight saw or heard or thought. You just wanted to be in his arms. You threw yourself at Jay and Jay didnt hesitate to wrapped his arms around you. "What happened in there?"
You didn't move an inch while replying to him. "Shes my mother,"
----
"Where's my daughter?"
The team had brought your mother im for questioning and you were sitting on the other side of the glass watching Jay and Voight do it as you didnt want her to see you.
Jay knowing what I wanted ingored the question "What do you know about these deaths?"
She ingored that question. "Where is my daughter?"
Your dad who was silent at the table was getting more pissed. Jay ingored that. "What are they mixing in these drugs?"
She ingored it. "I want to see my daughter,"
It was your dad who answered. "Yeah that's not gonna happen,"
"I have a right as shes my daughter,"
Voight abruptly slammed his hand on the table. "She's not your daughter. She's mine,"
"The hell she isn't,"
"Was she your daughter when you overdosed? Was she your daughter when you disappeared? Was she your daughter all this time when you didnt care to reach out to her?"
"Im not talking til I see her,"
"Then you can sit here for the next 48 hours,"
With that Voight and Jay walked out of the room, you walked out into the hallway and met them and then together you walked into the lobby. Voight looked at everyone in the room. "Does anyone have any leads to why Wentz could be?"
Wentz wasn't as the house.
"No, we looked through his social media accounts and all throughout his house and nothing. How did it go with you know,"
"She's not talking,"
Before I could say anything, Trudy walked in looking grim. "What's wrong?"
"They just found three more overdoses and they had bags with rats on them,"
You went to the scene and the place was absolutely wrecked. Trash everywhere, dirty dishes, broken plates, glass. It was disgusting. The victims were one sixteen year old, and two eighteen years olds.
You shook your head at the bodies that were slummped over. "Screw it, I'll met you guys back at the precinct,"
Jay called after you. "What are you doing?"
"Talking to her,"
-
Voight and Jay decided to come with you as the rest of the team finished up with the crime scene.
Your hand was on the doorknob and you took a deep breath. Right as soon as you were about to open the door, Jay comes up to you. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yeah, as much as I dont want to her to see me, shes the only connection we got to Wentz,"
You opened the doorknob and walked into the room, Jay following. She sat up when she saw you. "Like father like daughter, huh?"
You held up on your hand to make her stop talking, you walked to the table and sat down. "Don't do that,"
"Do what?"
"Talk to me as if you didnt disappear,"
"I-"
You held up your hand to stop her from talking. "Yeah, I don't care about your lame excuses right now. All I care about is the case,"
Your mom opened her mouth but shut it for a few seconds then opened it. "Fine, what do you want to know?"
"Where's Wentz?"
"I dont know, I haven't seen him in a few days,"
You rolled your eyes. "Come on Carrie, I know youre lying. You were saying at his place,"
She didn't answer about that. "You look just like me when I was your age,"
You scoffed. "At least I didnt become a drug addict and abandoned her child,"
You grabbed the file that was on the table and placed the pictures on the table. "Raven Jenkins, 18. Jake Harding, 19. Your friend killed them and we just found more kids that overdosed on this drug,"
She looked at the pictures for a few second then shoved them away. "I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about us,"
"Yeah, I don't. There's more important things to discuss,"
"Y/N please-"
Before you could say anything, Jay beat you to it. "She said she didn't want to talk about it. All we give a damn about is getting Darin Wentz off the streets and for kids not to be overdosing on a bad batch of dope,"
Your mom sighed. "I truly dont know where he is. I had just met him a month ago. I only knew where the house you pick me up was,"
You nodded. "How do you contact him or who does he contact you?"
"My phone,"
Before you could say anything, you heard the door open and you saw Voight come in. "Can you set up a meet?"
She looked at Voight confused. "What do you mean?"
"Call him text him whatever ask him to met and we'll talk to him,"
You and the team were at the club that Wentz regularly goes too. You, Jay and your mom were standing at the bar waiting for him to show up. "Hes here,"
Atwater came over the earpiece. "Hes walking from the left side,"
You looked over and saw him walking up. "I see him,"
"Darin, hi!"
Darin looked at your mother and then back to you. "So youre the person I spoke to ont the phone?"
"Yep, I'm Sera and this is Jake,"
---
You were walking out of precinct by yourself after you gotten back from the club, you and Jay made plans with him to meet tomorrow. You didnt get a chance to tell Voight about you two as today was a busy day. You were always to your car when your mom steps out. You rolled your eyes. "What?"
"Look, I know you dont want to hear this but-"
You were going to answer but Jay walked up to you and beat you to it. "No, she told you already that she doesnt want to hear it. Youre the one who fucked up, not her. She only needs you for-"
You placed a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Its okay, if her telling me why she left gets her to leave me alone, then good,"
You turned from Jay and looked at your mom. "Lets hear it,"
Jay nodded as he walked away. "Alright, call me if you need anything,"
Your mom looked at Jay, you and then sighs. "You guys are clearly in love,"
You rolled your eyes. "Not gonna talk to you about that,"
"Alright, your grandmother paid me to leave,"
You rolled your eyes. "Oh really now?"
"Your grandmother paid me a lot of money to abandoned you so she get custody,"
You scoffed. "Regardless of what grandma did, you still CHOSE to abandoned me. You chose not to reach out after I turned eighteen,"
"I thought you wouldnt want to see me,"
"You never gave me the chance to figure that out, did you?"
"Im sorry, I didn't think i had a choice in the matter. She was threatening me to get me locked up if i stayed around,"
"Once again, couldve came and saw me when I turned eighteen. Look, thanks for tell me what happened but it still didnt change anything,"
-----
"Everything is clear, no sign of him,"
You and Jay were standing in the middle of a warehouse waiting from Wentz. He's ten minutes late. You held up your speaker that was in your sleeve to your lips. "I'm about to say screw it. Hes not coming,"
Things were quiet for a second before Ruzek came over. "Black suv coming from the right,"
Voight came over it this time. "Remember, no one makes a move till we get a view on the drugs,"
You didn't say anything as the suv was pulling up. Jay had walked up beside you. You getting the vibe that he wants to protect you but also knows that you can handle yourself.
The door opened up and it revealed Wentz and two others. Wentz walked up to us empty handed but one of the other two had a briefcase. "You got the money?"
Jay grabbed the dufflebag and showed them the cash. "You got the product?"
Wentz snapped at the guy and pointed at the table. The guy walked over to the table, sat the suitcase on it and opened the briefcase. It had revealed the drug with a rat on the bag. You picked it up and held it up in the direction you knew Burgess was at taking photos. You placed the bag down on the table."Got the rat,"
Voight came over the walkie. "Take them,"
"CHICAGO PD!"
Wentz and his associates looked back and then looked back at you guys and you had your guns pulled out. "You're under arrested,"
----
You had decided not to tell Voight yet but you had also decided that you didn't care if he found out or not. You and Jay werent gonna go out of your way to hid it anymore. You and Jay were laying on the couch at Jay's laughing about some stupid thing Jay said after work when you heard someone knock on your door. Jay pushed you off him as you were laying on top of him. "Dick,"
Jay chuckled. "I have one,"
Jay's smiled didnt fade when he saw Voight, he moved to the side so he could be let in. Your dad eyed you laying on the floor but it didnt seem to surprise you. "Hey dad,"
Voight looked at you and then looked at Jay. Jay opened his mouth but you beat him to it. "Yep, we're dating and I really don't care what you say. I'm older enough to make my own decision,"
Voight chuckled. "You guys really think I didn't know? Come on now, Intelligence is my unit. I know everything that happens. Plus, I saw you guy kiss the other day,"
You and Jay both said oh at the same time. "So what are you gonna do about it?"
Voight shrugged. "Youve been handling dating and working together for a while now so nothing. Just tomorrow go and fill out the proper HR forms,"
You both looked at Voight shocked. "Like you said Y/N you are older enough to make your own decisions and I know Jay is smart enough not to do anything stupid. Plus, I just want you to be happy,"
Voight looked at you two more last time before leaving.
"That was...."
"Unexpected," You finished.
Jay looked over at you. "But that means i can kiss you whenever i want without worrying if Voights gonna catch us,"
Jay walked over to you and attacks your face with kisses.
#chicago pd#jay halstead#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead x you#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead x imagine#one chicago#secret voight
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Its early but I am writing this now mostly because I dont feel great and I am very tired. I slept for a little bit but I hope to maybe accomplish something after this. Well see.
Today was a good day though. I dont know why all my energy was zapped. I slept alright. I woke up a little early so I could scroll on my phone. I got up and washed up. I used my new body oil. ITs funny it smells so lemony when you put it on but it dries just straight up jasmine. I am not positive I love that. Being so florally. But it does feel nice.
I felt pretty good. Wore my long tshirt dress and James always says I look like a movie star and that feels nice.
It was decided that James would drive me to work so he could have the car. And that worked out pretty well. We got to the PAL center around 830 and said goodbye. He would come back for me at the end of the day.
Soon after I clocked in two of the kids that registered were there! Lovely girls. We are supposed to have two more tomorrow. But so far so good because these girls are really nice. I hope the others are too.
We had some technical issues right away. The littler girl got on her online classes quick and without much issue once we figured out how to get on the wifi. The older girl we had a lot of problems. Password, getting locked out of the google classroom. Just a mess. I was able to send a note to her teacher to let them know and they just said they would post the work on schoology and to work on that. So thats what she did.
Both of them worked really diligently. They dont have as many breaks as I thought the other kids did last week. I sat on the one side of the room where I could see what they were doing. I would periodically check in with them. I had written their schedules on the board so I could point to what they were supposed to be doing. I worked on sewing frogs. Making posts. And soon I was finally able to get into the CPR class and spent a lot of today working on that.
It was a chill day though. I worked on all that stuff. We had lunch. It was a good time.
Towards the late afternoon they finished up all their work. And asked if we could go outside. So we went to the playground. We swung on the swings. We played on the jungle gym. It was really warm out now. But it was fun.
We were out there for a half hour. And then went inside to do a few of the final little pieces of work they had. The littler girl asked to play cards but then changed her mind and her and her sister painted instead.
I finished up the CPR class with the exam. Which I failed!! I was super confused by the wording of a lot of the questions. Thankfully it allows you to take it again. And that time I still got some of the confusing questions wrong. But at least I passed.
I decided to wait til tomorrow to take the First Aid portion of the test. Its longer then the CPR one. But hopefully it will just go smoothly tomorrow and I finish it up quickly.
It was almost 3. I told the girls I would see them tomorrow and I would bring stuff to show them to sew. They were excited. They were also sad I had to go home. But thats life.
I checked in with Evers and Clifford, they said they would check in with the girls' mom about the log in issues. And that they would see me tomorrow.
James had gotten stuck in a little traffic. So I sat outside and enjoyed the nice weather. And soon he was there.
I was already tired. But it was good to see him. We stopped to get taco bell. But I got upset when he tried to get out of the parking lot and couldnt turn and he makes me so nervous with his u turns and things. And then we got all turned around and I snapped at him. It was upsetting to me. But we got the GPS on and we stopped driving in circles for no reason. And were on our way back downtown.
We stopped at Lane and Gaby's house to drop off the clothes she bought from me and Jess. She said some encouraging things and that felt good. I miss hanging out with her. She's so sweet.
We headed home and I still felt off. We got everything from the car and I put on my hoodie and played animal crossing for a while.
But I felt to tired. So I laid in the studio and slept until 630.
I felt pretty bad when I woke up. Dehydrated and hungry but I was having trouble articulating that to James and yeah. Just wasnt a good time.
He heated up pasta for me. And soon we had cookies. And I dont feel great but I do feel a bit better. Honestly I am just looking forward to getting a shower and laying back down.
Tomorrow is much of the same. I have the first aid course. And a little bit of sewing. I hope its a fun day.
Take care of yourselves you guys. Goodnight everyone!
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the one with the annotations.
dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here
summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???
warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint
requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon
notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones
ohhhhh boi
so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library
because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books
shocker there
you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns
just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books
but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts
because of dong sicheng
not to be dramatic but
your long rival
he started coming to the library to borrow books
because that’s kind of the point of a library
but he ended up liking the environment for studying
and would stay there for hours just to study
and you’d admire his hardworking nature
if he left on time, that is
you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing
just to tell everyone like
‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’
but this bitch
would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME
you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand
tapping on the wood to try and get his attention
and him slowly packing up afterwards
even tho he kNOWS you want to go home
‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’
and he’d be so furious
‘you know you cheated’
‘I don’t remember any such thing’
and maybe you did maybe you didn’t
you were like four years old
as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age
he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors
you leave in the other direction
happily leaving him behind
but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study
which are the days you work as well
he acts like it’s just part of his schedule
but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you
and honestly?
annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night
but he keeps borrowing books
and you’re like
whatever
until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages
and you were low-key so bitter
this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it
even though,, he literally had no idea lmao
tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste
okay the same taste
but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam
anyways he returns it after a week
boy reads fast ok
and when he goes to drop it in the returns box
you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away
and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it
and when there’s a lull in the work at the library
you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it
and you notice a few pencil marks
and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book
and you do nOT stand for vandalism
but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie
on the page you just happened to open
you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene
‘this would kill someone wtf’
and u laugh and wonder who had done this
like the book had only been out for a little while
and u finish it in just less than a week
bc u read a lot during your shifts
probably a lot more than you should tbh
and seriously the comments made the book better
you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much
like the words were exactly what you were thinking
you couldnt help it
while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift
!!!! you see another book that u might like !!!
not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt
it looks like ur type oop-
and after flipping through it
to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that
u see it ALSO has pencil markings
in the borders and underlining sentences
and without even thinking u borrow it
just to read the funny comments again
and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like
‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’
and thrusts a book in ur face
and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look
and u read the writing she’s pointing at
the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page
and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’
when u read the paragraph for context
u realise it’s a confession scene
a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’
and u can’t help but laugh
like come on that was funny
but ur boss doesn’t agree
she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library
or charged with vandalism
or something
she wants vengeance
u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers
scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book
and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT
2031 times ???????????????
you almost fall of your chair tbh
then someone clears their throat in front of u
and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book
but once u look at the person in front of u
you wish you hadn’t been so nice
sicheng stands in front of you
a grin on his face as he hands you another book
smug bitch is so happy he startled u
‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’
u laugh
‘I’m not u in 8th grade’
he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying
u were soooo hoping he’d leave
even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him
like dude was hot okay
what were u supposed to do????
ur actual job????
please.
so he stays
and when it’s ten minutes til closing
u go and let everyone know
and u stop at sichengs table
and he’s writing out notes or something
idk it’s not like u care anyway lol
but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula
so he erases it
and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting
and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books
I mean he has borrowed a few of the books
and he’s into that genre
not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything
basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head
bc ur cool like that
and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation
until he’s like ‘what are u doing’
and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD
jk jk
‘have u been writing in the books’
and suddenly he’s super shy
and he has this massive grin
and he’s like ‘no’
bitch we know it was u stfu
u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’
he squints at you
‘how do you even know it was me’
and then:
‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’
and u cross your arms
like a badass bitch
and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’
‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’
‘and your handwriting matches’
subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting
and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’
you're taken aback by the question tbh
like ?????? to be a good person ??????
idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you
‘thought you'd want to know’
and he just turns back to his book
and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care
but u do :((
but as you walk away hes like
‘wait’
‘Im gonna be suspended??’
and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok
‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’
u don't know tbh
‘both I think?’
and suddenly there's panic in his eyes
another person walks past u and thanks u
and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave
everyone has left
except sicheng of course
that beautiful son of a-
wait why did u say beautiful
‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’
and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem
but then u think about it
‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’
and he seems so happy at the thought
‘would you help me? please?’
and ur sooooooo skeptical
‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’
‘I mean I need access to the books so’
‘yeah ill let u in and out’
‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’
and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase
it wasnt that hard
u just got his record up
*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’
and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’
and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono
but later
‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’
he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised
‘yeah why’
‘dude,, I loved those books’
and he smiles a little
‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’
part of u is a little impressed
the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is
but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much
other than the staying late and the snarky comments
which you actually find kinda funny-
anyways
once you've gathered up a few of the books
like at least ten each
you sit on the floor of the childrens section
beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books
most of them you've read before
and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger
but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice
and he keeps his head down
‘is it bad that im hungry’
you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng
hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags
and maybe he'd been watching u read
watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary
‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’
you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave
‘you been watching me, y/n?’
‘have you been eating, sicheng?’
and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump
his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark
‘no’
you focus back on the book in front of you
‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’
‘what, you wanna go eat?’
you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful
or something else
‘no but I do want to sleep’
you laugh and he forces a laugh too
you dont notice the difference
when you've returned all the books
he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift
hes just standing by the door on his phone
and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him
but u cant help thinking
Jesus Christ this boy is attractive
and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago
but hey! you were eleven what could u do
the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao
but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him
making sure to lock it carefully
and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment
and ur like oh u live this way too?
and hes like nah
but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home
like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night
but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet
‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’
and there goes his heart again
he just nudges u with his elbow
and u laugh at him and continue on ur way
when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible
and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???
but hes back at the library the next day
and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you
sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear
you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk
‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’
‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’
and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side
‘are u borrowing a book or not’
‘nuP’
he leans on the desk
his eyes staring straight into yours
‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’
you roll ur eyes
you'd barely gotten any sleep last night
but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod
‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’
‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’
you roll ur eyes aGAiN
‘go bother someone else’
‘oh is the hot librarian in?’
you push him away from the desk
but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips
‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’
he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide
‘no. please. ill do anything’
when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away
and he winks too
u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest
and later
its 8pm and the library is officially closing
and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back
but every single time hes seen you coming
and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap
away from your grabbing hands
every. single. time.
you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project
and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him
he dramatically looks up at you
‘do you need something?!’
‘do you want to get suspended?!’
he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway
he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands
a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased
but theres still a lot to go
it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day
and it had been the same thing every time;
sicheng took forever to pack up
you'd eventually find about ten books each
sit in the children’s section
laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books
tease each other
and when you'd finished,
he'd walk you home
every single time
without fail
it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you
because he'd kept you up the night before
and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng
he was just so engaging
there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him
yeah he was annoying and infuriating
but his good book taste made up for it
and his annotations in the margins of the books too
‘is this the last of them?’
he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again
its the third time hes counted
‘surely ive read more than this’
‘not from this library ://’
you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile
‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’
‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face
but you try and remain calm
‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’
he looks at you like ?????
‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’
he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’
you pout and throw a pillow at him
‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’
‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’
you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip
‘lets just finish this’
‘do u want to get food after’
he surprises you with the sudden question
and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes
but you have a class tomorrow
and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night
‘cant :((’
he nods and goes back to readng
theres silence for a while
but you find it comfortable
sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down
like
you just turned down his date
you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now
quiet
but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed
until u say something that gives him hope
‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’
and ngl boy is stunned
‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’
now its ur turn to be embarrassed
u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing
but sicheng is just staring at you
and
before even saying anything
he leans over the gap between you
with all the books
and hovers in front of your face
ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-
and then he leans forward a little bit more
and his lips meet yours
and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you
and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you
he just really needed to kiss you
like more than he needed air
and when u finally pull back
he loves how breathless you are
how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face
how you stare at him with wide eyes
‘so its a date then?’
you blush even redder
and nod
‘ye its a date :))’
but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together
small smiles playing on your faces
until u look at your watch and ur like
‘shit sicheng I have to go’
and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago
so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back
and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked
and when ur walkign to the door again
hes on his phone
u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie
and when u walk out together
without thinking he grabs your hand
and u walk home
hand in hand
after midnight
he clears his throat
‘so uh,, when actually is our date’
‘my last class ends at 5-’
‘so 5 it is’
‘are u sure??’
he nods happily
and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep
‘ill see u tomorrow’
but the next day
when u come out of your last class
a little giddy
a little too excited
and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars
effortlessly handsome
you feel your heart flip
and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him
but hes really attractive
like really really attractive
its actually just that youre in love with him
he doesnt see you coming
too focused on something on his phone
but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him
and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back
‘ready for that date?’
‘yeah, where are we going’
‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’
#dong sicheng#winwin#nct winwin#nct sicheng#wayv#wayv sicheng#wayv winwin#dong winwin#nct fluff#wayv fluff#nct imagines#wayv imagines#nct crack#wayv crack#is this crack I dont think so lol#nct 127#wayv humour#nct humour#enemies to lovers au#nct enemies to lovers#wayv enemies to lovers#sicheng autocorrected to schenk and I cant stop laughing h e l p
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I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)
[[MORE]]
Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣
I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol
I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.
Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.
So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.
All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁
Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:
MEDICINE
I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.
In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).
You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).
I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.
WEIRD BOWELS
With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.
SUPPORT
Both in furniture sense and people sense.
My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.
Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.
WASHING
So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.
EMOTIONAL
Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!
SCARRING
Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.
"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".
Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.
Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.
I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈💛💛💛🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
#top surgery#ftm#transition#transgender#mascetomy#surgery#post surgery#gender transformation#gts#gender transformation surgery#tumblr dont shoot me there are no nip nops and no mentions of milk sacts flesh#long post#long read#under the cut#double mascetomy#double incision
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5 gifts peter got for mj and 1 she gave him
im still alive bishes haha. am i really just choosing to participate in a different prompt that i barely have anything planned out for instead of finishing the one i was late in following up on? yes i am. prep urselves for some gift giving spideychelle to develop their relationship pre-ffh hehe
after hoco and peter starts to gain a work spidey life balance, he finally starts to notice that mj apparently... cares... about... him???
it wasn't obvious at first, hidden under a layer of deadpan sarcasm and witty comebacks, but the interest seemed to be there
which was why every time peter would miss a meeting, he'd actually feel bad this time because he really did want to be there this time
he'd feel terrible every time mj would ask him where he was, why he didn't show up. she was hoping he'd show and he let her down.
the first couple of times it happens, mj's understanding enough.
but it happens a couple of times too often and back to back and something snaps
you see, peter and mj have developed a bit of a rapport over the couple of months after hoco.
peter finds out mj likes coffee and tea, she read a stephen king book one time, he noticed, and they talked basically all week about king (and some of the issues surrounding him, his work, and their adaptations ofc)
soon enough their talks extend beyond school and they start meeting up in the library, at their places, at coffee shops, pizza places, an arcade one time where mj managed to beat peter at air hockey. her lil energetic whoop and almost doing a victory dance (before realizing she was in public) was worth losing for.
but admittedly, peter was just a tinge bit stressed and overextended and he unfortunately let his time with mj fall by the wayside.
he'd accidentally left her at seen for days after he completely forgot she sent him a message. she called, he answered, a robber was currently running away from some cops, he hung up on her...
suffice it to say, peter became a bit of a bad friend and he completely understood why mj reverted back to their previous relationship, he did it first
which was why peter decided enough was enough
mj has been a great friend to him, a true one, and an underappreciated one at that
which was why he decided he'd spend as much time, effort, and thoughtful gestures necessary trying to make it up to her
problem was, they were currently on clipped one word reply speaking terms right now. mj barely looked at him, she went back to sitting all the way to the other side of the farthest table during lunch again...
he needed a way in
so he went back to basics, the next day, he knew mj had a 7 am class so peter went to school at 7 am too, just to give mj some much needed caffeine
trouble was, was that mj was running late and when he gave the coffee, she left just as quick as she came
she said a quick "thanks, parker" and swoosh she sprinted to class
and peter was left there with 3 hours to spare til his next class. oh well, at least the effort made her do that quick lil toothy smirk
his efforts would work eventually won't it?
but if an omniscient narrator were watching him for the following days, they probably would have said no, no they wouldn't
one of those days, peter brought a thermos of tea only to find that mj had brought her own
"great, i thought the point of these gifts were to make things less awkward between us" peter thought to himself as he winds up walking away in slight shame from the awkward interaction
he winds up sharing the thermos with ned instead, who promptly responded "wow i get your secondhand gifts, you sure know how to make a guy feel special, peter"
"shut up, ned, do you want some or not?"
"no, come on, give it to me. free drinks are free drinks even if it's essentially just warm leaf juice. besides, i heard this helps with a sore throat."
"well, at least someone's happy with my gift"
they clink their cups together and peter begins brainstorming his next probably bound to fail gift idea
as he was walking home from school that day, and saw mj heading to the library, said idea lights up in his head in the form of bookmarks
those were cute right? and mj would probably use em all the time cus she reads so much and she reads multiple books at a time, so she'd probably use multiple bookmarks as well, right?
bookmarks it was, peter decided
he thought he'd print a bunch of personalized ones. ones that were photos of them, had quotes from significant historical female figures, and of course science puns
he knew mj didn't appreciate them as much as he did, but a part of him thought she'd like them nevertheless and would think of him when she'd use them
peter knew this gift giving crusade would be... heavy on his wallet, but as he stared at the price for laminating a couple of personalized bookmarks. he concluded lamination was a scam and believed mj would be careful enough with her books, and consequently, her bookmarks, to not need some flimsy piece of plastic to protect it
so peter opted for some folders and cardboard to make said bookmarks instead
it's only later after he got tossed into a sewer by a dude in a mechanized rhinoceros suit that he learned a valuable lesson: always laminate bookmarks
ok he was kidding (lamination was still a scam and bad for the environment and you couldnt write on the things after you laminate em)
but really tho, he did learn something. he realized he hasn't had the best of luck keeping his gifts intact in time to give said gifts to mj
so he decided to employ reinforcements
once peter's saved enough money to buy his next gift (a sketch notebook that he saw at a cutesy old crafts store), he decides that he should take ned with him when he buys it and that ned should just give it to mj instead
(better safe than sorry)
but peter still wanted mj to know the gift was from him tho, so he decided to write a letter and insert it within the notebook.
so he writes, or more like incoherently rambles and apologizes really
but peter thinks he got to the crux of the importance their relationship had to him and really, he just wanted to make things up to mj
that's what mattered
here's the thing tho, halfway thru writing said letter, he realized that having ned give it to her was kind of a cop out.
not to mention, not giving it personally but writing this long ass sort of confessional letter?
pfftt peter liked to think he was better than that
talk about sending mixed messages
so peter decided that he would still have ned keep the notebook and the letter, right up until the point that he was going to give the gifts to her.
and finally, peter parker, in this whole gift giving crusade, is finally given a fucking break.
at lunch time, the three of them are now all sitting at the same table
(peter and mj's relationship have mostly improved in the time it took him trying to give all those gifts, but he still felt guilty and he still wanted to show his appreciation for her)
ned "slyly" (mj saw it, how sly could he have been?) passes peter the notebook under the table
and peter braces himself
"i can do this" he repeatedly quietly mutters to himself until he finally approaches
"hey, mj"
"greetings, parker" casually replies mj without so much as looking up from her book
"i uh... got you something"
"is it something ned gave you?"
"what?"
"cause if it is, he can give it to me himself, you know" says mj in a semi shout to ned as well (ned looks at peter with a facial expression that said dude wtff?? how did i get in the middle of this???)
"what? no no no this isn't from ned. i bought you this."
"so why did ned have it?" says mj in her cool suave investigator mj interrogatory tone
"well..."
peter had officially maybe five? six? seconds to decide whether to share his embarrassing tales of failed gift giving woes to mj or to make up something on the spot
screw it, embarrassing failed gifts it was instead. truth shall set you free and all that, right? plus maybe it'd help him practice for when he tells her his biggest secret
peter sighs in defeat and tells mj in an almost quiet mumble "all my other gifts were destroyed when i kept them so i decided to have ned keep them instead"
"i'm sorry what?"
"it's just that the last time i tried to get you a gift, it just wound up getting ruined so i thought i'd just have ned hold onto it until it was time to give it to you."
peter can barely look mj in the eyes, the cafeteria just seems so interesting all of a sudden.
"oh"
that made peter look back at mj cus she seemed... shocked?
mj is.... shocked????
"soo... you bought that... for me?"
and god forsake peter parker because mj just gave him the cutest shyest little happy smile that he never knew she was capable of having.
"yeah yeah i did" and peter finally gets to give mj his gift/s (im counting the letter as the 5th gift cus im lazy af hahaha) and all the other trials and errors and failed gift attempts completely made the end result worth it
until ofc mj opens the damn thing and finds said letter that peter had completely forgotten at the moment was there
"what's this??" mj asks in an overly sarcastic teasing tone that kinda makes peter want to die
as mj opens the letter right there during lunch in the school cafeteria, peter suddenly lunges to block said letter's contents from mj's sight
"petet what the hell are you doing?" asks mj with the sweetest laughter that peter would totally googoo eyes about at any other moment had he not been focused on trying (and obviously failing) to keep his dignity intact
"uhhh can i ask that you just read that some other time, mj? and uh not right here, right now, in the cafeteria? it's just really embarrassing" peter shyly requests of mj, scratching his neck and looking at everything in the cafeteria but her
to that, mj simply has a sympathetic look on her face in reply
"sure, peter" says mj with a reassuring smile
and with that, peter breathes a big sigh of relief and finally lets go of his feelings letter for mj
mj closes the notebook up, keeping the letter safe inside it in the process, and secures the notebook safe inside her bag inmediately
suffice it to say, for mj, that notebook is precious cargo and she shall treasure it as much as she is capable of treasuring something
because peter parker felt guilty over not getting to spend time with her as much as they did and kind of pushing her to the sidelines and so it was just a genuine thoughtful gesture that showed peter valued their friendship/relationship as much as she valued it
PRECIOUS. CARGO.
but speaking of said cargo...
"hey peter"
"yeah?"
peter had gone back to his seat right next to ned
"sooo what was the other gift you tried to give me?" asks mj, getting back to their playful teasing banter ways
mj's question sends peter facepalming himself with the table
"don't think i've forgotten about that, i'm probably not going to stop investigating til i find out so might as well just spill the truth, parker"
peter stops his repetitive headbanging onto the table and sighs
"fine, mj"
and peter goes on to explain his bookmarks idea beginning all the way from the thermos incident
the three of them spend the rest of their lunch looking at the photos peter was going to use for the bookmarks, fondly recalling memories upon looking back at the some of the photos and laughing at all the corny science puns peter had planned on using as well
things were finally back to normal, if not better than ever.
time for some cliche corny af happy end quote ending about how their friendship and the memories they shared together was the real gifts they had buuuttt i did mention mj would be giving peter a gift didnt i? soooo mj pov epiloooggguuueeeee
here's the thing, mj had an inkling peter parker was trying to attempt something
he was at school at the same time as her crack of dawn class and gave her some much needed caffeine
he tried to share his thermos of tea with her
it seemed like peter was trying to make amends and it really was sweet and thoughtful so ofc lil by lil she began to soften back
but as mj was printing the bookmarks peter had planned to give her
mj requisitioned the idea for herself since they actually were good ideas if she's being honest
tho she would never tell peter that, ESPECIALLY the science puns one
she'd reserve those for only when she's at home, the least likely place peter could ever see her use that
ok so back to- as mj was printing said bookmarks, she began to appreciate peter's thoughtfulness
and it is totally not because of any feelings said gifts and gift attempts gave her
but right now, as she had finished printing bookmarks and got nostalgic and reread the letter of peter confessing to her how much their relationship meant to him again, she suddenly had the unscratchable itch of needing to sketch peter
and a balancing of the scales gift idea was born
because you see, rn, peter had the upper hand in terms of the morality of their friendship and mj couldnt have that nooo
mj was sketching a screen cap of a video she took of the class while they were waiting for a professor and peter gave her that impossibly adorkable smile
because she HAD TO
she couldnt let peter hog all the gift giving glory
she didnt do it because of feelings or whatever ppfftt
this was just to balance the scales, mkayyyy???
or at least that's what mj told herself once she's finished her sketch and proceeded to look for all her old ones of peter
just to even things out
and that's exactly what mj told him as she shoved said sketches that were currently inside a plastic envelope onto peter's hands
(1. less likely for them to be ruined that way. 2. she was not going to have those sketches out in the open for everyone to plainly see wtf)
"this is just to make things even between us, no need to make a big deal about it"
peter was in awe for a while, his jaw slightly dropped, but he smiles in adoration of the girl of his dreams and gives a genuine "thank you, mj"
"you're welcome, peter."
mj even smiles a little before the bell rings and she hightails out of there
mj lightly sprints away, still slightly in shock and unsure of what she just did and what just happened
while peter is left looking at mj's direction fondly and looking back at her gift for him
and as he peeked inside the envelope to see its contents and saw all those sketches of him
peter felt like he truly didn't deserve someone like mj
and he felt like all the gifts in the world he could think of and muster up wouldn't be able to make up for that fact
holy fucking shit i cant believe i actually finished one of these things again. it's like pulling fucking fingernails and teeth at the same time, i tell you
but honestly i'm just really really happy i finished it and it's so pure and fluffy imo and nothing im just. i love these two sm.
this fic was supposed to be for 5+1 things day but since they're also a bunch of headcanons i like to think i'm just posting these in advance for headcanons day tomorrow hahahaha
IM BACK ON THE SPIDEYCHELLE MONTH TRAIN BABY TOOT TOOT TOOOTTTT
and i have a couple of fics left in me so whew keep a lookout for those if they decide to come hahaha
all hail spideychelle everybody. i'll be back i dunno haha
#spideychelle#spideychelle is canon bitches#spideychelle month#to keep the spideychelle dream alive#spideychelle fic#spideychelle fanfiction#spideychellemonth#spideychelle fluff#fluff#peter parker#michelle jones#<3#:')#did yalls catch that#tomdaya#references tho? hahahaha#im feeding myself spideychelle fluff to rough out this drought we're in rn fam#it's bad fam#hahahahuhuhu#anyways#hope yalls enjoyed folks!#if anyone's reading this anyways hahahaha#pj#petermj#peter x mj
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so, this is how it’s going (for me)
it’s currently day 20 of my self-isolation journey. my department in uni had us do one last day (friday the 13th) of normal classes because i had 2 labs and quizzes that, so we did those and then the isolation began. and now im losing my mind.
a little background: i got sick the week the government here came out with the announcement that uni is gonna be off for 3 weeks (now extended for the rest of the semester being online). that decision didn’t come out until thursday the 12th. the thing is, i usually dont get too sick? like, it’s pretty normal for me to start feeling sick, have a bit of a scratchy throat and maybe a headache, stuffy nose too, but my immune system always always manages to fight it off in a couple of days. so since it’s pretty rare for me to get sick enough to want to stay home. in the beginning of that week, i thought that was what was gonna happen too, but by wednesday, it seemed that yeah, im sick and my body is too tired to fight it off. see, i sort of didn’t consciously think about going to uni - it was a given that i had to. i had a lab midterm i HAD to do on tuesday, and then i couldnt afford to miss my classes for the rest of the week (for the sake of material and i didnt want to go over my nonattendance allowance), but then on thursday afternoon at like 2pm, after a full day of classes since 9am, i fell asleep in class out of pure exhaustion, and that’s when i knew that i absolutely HAD to stay home. imagine the frustration. if i’d stayed home that morning, or at least skipped 1 class, i’d have felt marginally better, at the least.
but i couldnt. my classes wouldnt end til 7.30 that evening, and i had the 2 labs and quizzes to prepare for and go to the next day from 9am-6pm - only then could i let my body rest.
so i got through both classes that day, and got back home so tired all i could do was lay in bed so tired i didnt even change out of my clothes, with guilt weighing down on me because i wasnt studying for the next day’s labs. by 12am, i was so frustrated and bone-achingly tired that i just gave up and texted a friend to ask the TAs in the morning lab if i could do anything to compensate what i’d miss if she didnt see me in the morning. then i took finally go to sleep with alarms for 6am that i would get up to if i heard in the morning to study. here’s when the sobbing starts out of nowhere.
in hindsight, i dont know if it was just a normal flu that my body couldnt fight off due to physical exhaustion, or if it was something else. (bear in mind, that was the week when only the first case of covid19 was reported here, so logically it couldnt have been but the paranoia was definitely there and definitely scary as hell)
fast foward to now: it’s been 2 weeks of online classes, and one more before that of netflix only, and im just about losing my mind. i came to stay over at my friends’ after only the first weekend and now idk if i wanna go back to my apartment alone or if it’s just because my mind is generally restless and i just wanna go back to be with my family. (that’s a whole other story tho)
even worse, i cant bring myself to focus on my classes, even though i wanted them to start so bad that first week i had to do absolutely nothing, for the sake of some structure. my uni plans to give some projects/homeworks to replace midterms at least, the fate of finals is still undecided, and labs might be done in the summer, and i cant get myself to study even for myself and my own growth. the way i’ve been wanting to since winter break in jan.
this unmotivation is killing me, and i know im not the only one feeling this way, i know that literally the whole world is in this situation and mindstate right now, but i feel like i want to explode. i cant help but blame myself and my own fucked up brain for not being productive and being good for myself, just like i always do.
i want to do more with my life with all the time that i have now, work towards my future career somehow. even the internship i was supposed to start planning for this summer is probably gonna be suspended or whatever.
i study both pharmacy and business admin, and i feel like it’s more accessible to try and do something with my business degree in some way, but my brain has never been trained to be of the entrepreneurial type.
im just. so sick of being in limbo like this.
i havent even been able to get myself to write (anything, of any sort) in MONTHS
i dont even know when i can get back home to my family, since no one’s accepting any incoming flights and im not even a permanent resident so. fuck all this shit.
#suma talks#suma rants#personal#long post#mine#im sorry this is so long i just needed to get it out somewhere
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Hey kids,
How is everyone?
It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.
TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗
My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.
Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.
I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.
This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.
On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.
So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.
So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.
When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.
I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.
I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.
My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.
I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.
Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.
Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.
What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌
Sending hugs and love,
💕-dad
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