#3 Incorrect Batman DC AU
Harley Quinn: What time is it?
Joker: I don't know; pass me that kazoo and we'll find out
Joker: *Plays kazoo extremely loud*
Two Face: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING KAZOO AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Joker: It's 2 am
*****
Two Face: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Poison Ivy: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Two Face: That wasn't an ambulance, Harley Drove you.
Poison Ivy: But I heard a siren.
Joker: That was Harley.
Harley Quinn: Sorry, I got nervous.
*****
Riddler: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Two Face, Joker, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy, sarcastically: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
*****
Two Face: Never going to a meeting of the Legion of Doom again. Riddler started his argument with "Riddle me this".
*****
Robin: *running towards Batman with open arms*
Batman: *moves out of the way*
Robin: Hey, why'd you move?!
Batman: I thought you were going to attack me.
Robin: I was going to hug you!
Batman: Why would you hug me?
Robin: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
*****
*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Joker: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Poison Ivy: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Two Face: if you want information it is
Harley Quinn: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?
*****
Zoom: Your internet connection is unstable.
Two Face: You should see my life.
*****
*at a zoo*
Joker: What are they in for?
Lex Luthor: Joker, this isn't prison.
Joker: So they can leave?
Lex Luthor: No, but-
Joker, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
*****
Two Face: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Riddler: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Harvey Dent: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Riddler: Somehow that's worse.
*****
Mr. Freeze: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.
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